#and idiots in love and what defines personality/self

[shivunin]

If you had to pick 5 fics you’ve written to make a “crash course” and sum up your writing personality, which would they be?

Oooh thank you so much for asking! <3 I had to ponder this a bit, but here's what I think:

I love angst/confronting your feelings at the moment your loved one faces mortal peril so Only Ghosts (4,267 Words). It's all the tasty Zevran/Wen feelings after she takes a deadly wound in the Deep Roads.

I have to include As Two Reflected Stars (12,429 words) because I also love hurt/comfort and tracing the role a specific habit or occurrence has in character growth over time. In this case, healing.

Internal conflict is (I think!) one of my specialties so I offer up Only a Kiss (1,215 Words), the first thing I ever wrote for Wen and Zevran. Wen is always such a treat to write because so much goes unspoken with her, but I feel like this is a peak example of her warring with herself.

I also consider tropes I don't love a little puzzle to unwrap for myself, so next is Search Your Hands (13,581 words). I wrote it as a silly little story about cultural misunderstandings between Cullen and Lavellan. It wound up being a more well-liked fic than most of mine, which surprised me a lot!

Aaaand last but not least I will always be a sucker for unspoken feelings, idiots in love, and romantic tension, so Summer Tea (897 Words) with Elowen and Cullen. These two are the worst at making that first move with each other but it's so fun to write the lead-up.

#ask response #tried to find a decent balance of length here #but i left off all my longfic because i feel like that's less of a crash course and maybe #more of an advanced course in feelings lol #i only recommend them if you're into memory loss and/or crying #but To The Bone is a good intermediate step if you're wanting one! #if i had to summarize in like three phrases i think my writing personality is angst w a happy ending #and idiots in love and what defines personality/self #anyways!!! thank you so much for asking! this was fun to think about!

[pocketjoong]

ATEEZ REACTIONS TO YOUR FRIEND ABANDONING YOU AFTER THEY FIND AN S/O | ot8 x reader

GENRE | reaction, headcanons, angst, fluff

WARNINGS | Kinda sad. Mentions of bad friends. Mentions of friends abandoning you and acting like you don’t exist anymore. Self-indulgent. Lmk if I missed something.

NOTES | Just a little something bc I’m kinda sad and angry lol. These are based on a situation I found myself in recently, and this is how I’m coping ig lol.

Hongjoong

☆ Hongjoong is furious, but he reigns in his anger and instead, focuses on being there for you. That doesn’t mean that he will not express his frustration at your so-called “friend, though. He will definitely tell you what your friend did is wrong and that you deserve to be treated better.

☆ Hongjoong says things you want to hear in such a situation and validates your feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion. But, he also says things that you need to hear, telling you things like, “Don’t let other people’s actions define your self-worth. You are an amazing person, and you should not let someone like that make you feel like you were a bad friend.”

☆ If you want to, he will help you write a diss track so that you can channel your frustration and anger into something that will allow you not to feel sorry for yourself.

☆ By the end of this little collaboration, as you watch Hongjoong's proud smile from where he's seated in front of the studio equipment on the other side of the window, you will definitely feel a teensy bit better.

☆ If he has a personal SNS account (and if your “friend” follows him in said account), he'll post a bunch of pictures of you both enjoying convenience store snacks and of you laughing with a passive-aggressive caption. Something like, “Some friendships are like a bag of chips in the aisle of a convenience store—they're there one moment and gone the next. But our friendship is a timeless classic, always on the shelf, waiting to be enjoyed, and never going out of style.”

Seonghwa

☆ Seonghwa is going to be angry, too, but he prioritises your well-being and emotions above all else. 

☆ So, as much as he wants to have a word with your “friend”, he lets it go in favour of hugging you as you cry out the feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal that have been building inside of you. Seonghwa rocks you back and forth in his arms, gently patting your back and handing you tissues when needed. He even makes sure to have a bottle of water nearby and prompts you to drink some from time to time so you don't get dehydrated.

☆ When you’re done crying, he wraps you in his softest blankets with a mischievous grin and brings out snacks before turning on the TV and watching sappy movies with you.

☆ If you’re not in the mood to watch movies, expect him to bring out a new Lego set for both of you to build together, seizing the opportunity to create a relaxing atmosphere so you’re distracted from your pain.

☆ While the two of you work on building the set, he makes funny sounds with a character he has finished and acts all goofy, especially when you become too silent or daze off. Sometimes, he smiles at you sweetly, gently encouraging you and reminding you that he is there for you, no matter what.

Yunho

☆ When Yunho learns that your friend has basically abandoned you, his protective instincts kick in. He is positively murderous, and he is very vocal about how he feels about your friend acting like a jerk.

☆ “How dare that idiot act like this?!” His words might be coloured with anger, but he really wants you to know that he stands firmly by your side and that he won't tolerate anyone mistreating you.

☆ He will drive you around the city because he knows how much a change of scenery can help and also because you love driving with no particular destination in mind. Yunho plays soothing music at first, slowly changing the mood of the songs until both of you are basically screaming the lyrics to Guerrilla as you drive past the city streets.

☆ If by any chance you happen to cross paths with your friend while you are out with Yunho, he does everything in his power to gently guide you away (ideally, you don't even notice said “friend” as Yunho jokes around, gently guiding you to his car while blocking your view of them).

☆ If he’s alone, though, he definitely confronts your friend. He uses his intimidating presence to subtly tell them that he doesn’t approve of what they did, “If I ever see you near y/n, I'll make sure you never have your kneecaps.” His words hang heavy in the air as he walks away, a stark reminder that he is willing to go to great lengths to protect you from any harm.

Yeosang

☆ Yeosang will be there for you, but silently. He gives you time and space to process your feelings, but he is there as a quiet yet reassuring presence because he won't leave you on your own when you need someone to be there. But he also waits for you to go to him and talk when you are ready.

☆ Though Yeosang doesn't push you to share your feelings, his presence gives you the comfort you need. Him just bring there serves as a reminder that you don’t need to face this painful situation on your own.

☆ His care for you manifests in subtle ways: snack delivery, random funny text messages, or him telling you something ridiculous the other members did. But the most noticeable thing is that he is around a lot more.

☆ He makes sure that you know he’s available for hanging out or just talking. He will mention it in passing that he’s free lately and use his busy schedule in the past few months as an excuse to see you. He arrives at your door, smiling widely, “I was free, and I haven't seen you in a while because of the tour. So, I wanna hang out. Let's get fried chicken?” (And how can you say no when he asks so nicely?)

San

☆ San is also very livid at how your friend treated you and is one of the members to let you know his take on the matter. His first reaction is to confront your friend directly. You will have to stop him from calling the friend or marching up to their house to give them a piece of his mind. You can feel his simmering anger as you tell him to let it be, but he agrees with your wishes (reluctantly).

☆ When it comes to comforting you, he provides you all the emotional support you need, letting you cry in his arms. But he also says cheesy things like, “Why are you crying over someone who doesn't know the difference between a gem and a lump of coal?” His attempt at being funny elicits a weak smile from you, causing him to smile as well.

☆ San is also someone to take you out on a surprise outing to stargaze, especially if he knows that a meteor shower is supposed to take place. As you both are laid out on the blanket, watching the stars, he softly reminds you of your worth. “You know, you shouldn’t waste tears on meteors that pass through your life when you have a bunch of stars in your galaxy.”

Mingi

☆ Mingi is sad when he learns about how your friend had treated you, and he is genuinely concerned despite his awkward attempts to comfort you.

☆ He pats your head or your shoulder as you cry, but at the same time, says something deep like, “I know you have a kind heart and that this situation has hurt you, but some people don’t deserve the love you carry within you.”

☆ Instead of assuming, he directly asks you what you need and how he can help, and he does it with no questions asked. Even if that means he has to pay unreasonable shipping to get you your favourite chocolates as soon as possible.

☆ He also orders takeout so that he knows that you’re eating properly and then puts on an old comedy show he knows you have watched countless times. By the time the sun sets, the weight on your shoulders lifts and you find yourself quoting the show line-for-line with Mingi while laughing into the night.

Wooyoung

☆ Wooyoung goes attack-mode but also protect-mode because he’s not one to let anyone mistreat someone he cares about.

☆ In attack mode, he calls your friend and tells them exactly what he thinks of them. He won't hold back, and says something like, “Don't mess with me. Because I can and will make your life hell, and I'm not scared of people like you who think it’s okay to treat people badly, especially if they have treated you with nothing but kindness.” His words, though playfully exaggerated, are stern enough to deliver the warning to your friend.

☆ Then, because he knows how much you are hurting, he does everything to comfort you. He cooks your favourite meal, knowing the recipe like the back of his hand. While cooking, he cracks jokes, hoping to get you to smile.

☆ With the meal prepared and the table set, Wooyoung opens a bottle of soju, and lets you get tipsy enough to relax. He listens as you say not-so-nice things about your friend, allowing you to vent without judgment. And if you are feeling up to it, he might put on some music and dance goofily, smiling when you laugh and encouraging you to join him.

Jongho

☆ Jongho, like Yeosang, is a silent supporter. He gives you the space you need to process your emotions but also lets you know that he is there. “I’m here whenever you want to talk or if you need anything.”

☆ He will be the pillar when you need him to be. Jongho lets you curl up next to him even though he’s not very fond of skinship and eventually starts humming under his breath, and when he notices you relaxing, sings gentle melodies to lull you to sleep. He smiles to himself when he feels the way you relax against him, forgetting the hurt, even if for a little while.

☆ To alleviate some of the pain and anger that you are feeling, he makes witty jokes and humorous comments to lighten the mood. In a moment of lightheartedness, Jongho might playfully break an apple in two pieces and hold it up for you to see, saying, “Hey, isn't this,” and show you the two pieces of the apple, “that idiot who let go of one of the most amazing friends he could ever get?”

#outlaw/atz reactions #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #cromernet #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez smau #ateez social media au #ateez fake texts #ateez fanfic

[linkspooky]

Hi I really love ur metas your jjk ones really made me appreciate the story even more. I was curious about ur analysis on why Gojo is important to Geto.

It's obvious as to why Geto is important to Gojo and how Geto effected him but I don't think it's talked about enough of the reversal

That's a good observation anon, the story makes it less obvious what Geto needs Gojo for, while spending a long time lingering on the tragedy of Geto's loss and what the loss of his only real friend meant for Gojo.

I think part of this is because Geto is a character of deep self-reflection so a lot of his internal narration is about his feelings towards his self and thinking through his own ideals and what that means. Whereas Gojo doesn't really self reflect but he does observe other people. We don't know what Gojo's opinions on a lot of things are, but we know what Geto meant to him because he's much clearer on how he felt towards Geto. Geto's staring into himself trying to figure what he feels personally, Gojo is always staring at other people trying to figure out what they feel.

As for why Gojo means so much to Geto, it's important to remember that they are a duo. They're the same idiot in different fonts. Geto's a much more human character and we are inside his head more often so it's easy to forget that when they were young Geto had the same kind of god / superiority complex that Gojo did.

Geto is associated with religious imagery over and over again, the same way that Gojo is associated with budhist ideals of enlightenment and escaping karma. They are both people who were in their teenage years more powerful than everyone around them, and because of that looked down on everyone.

Even Geto's stated ideals of "protecting the weak" come from a place of superiority. He still divides people mentally into the weak and the strong. The special ones and the common rabble. He sees people the same way Gojo does, he just believes that the strong like him and Gojo have a moral obligation to use their powers responsibly in service of others.

Geto's not more humble than Gojo. Their moral disagreement comes from how they should use the power they've been given, but they both feel that the power they have puts them in a position above other people.

All of this to illustrate the fact that if Gojo felt isolated as a teenager because all the power he had made him feel lonely and unable to connect with others, then so Geto probably felt isolated in the same way too. They each found in each other someone they could finally call their equal. Because of it they gained someone they could be vulnerable around and someone they could trust to watch their back.

The things Geto does for Gojo (check on his feelings when no one else would, go out of his way to reassure him), Gojo does for Geto in return. It's not Geto always taking care of Goo it's a partnership between the two of them where they lean on each other.

When Kuroi is kindapped and Geto immediately falls into a funk and starts to blame himself for his mistake, it's Gojo who reassures him by hurrying him along and telling him they need to focus on planning what they should do next. Gojo knows Geto well enough to know his tendency to get trapped in his own thoughts and gives him the kick in the pants he needs.

In the same scene where Geto checks on Gojo's well-being to make sure he's not overusing his power, Gojo returns the sentiment by reassuring Geto not to worry about him because he won't push himself too hard and that he's not in this alone Geto's here too.

That's probably a big part of it for Geto. Yes, Geto tends to naturally slide into the caretaker role, watching out for Gojo and checking in on him but at the same time Geto probably likes that there is someone who needs him in that way. If Gojo's defined by his lack of connection with other people, Geto's defined by the way he goes out to make connections. It's nice to be needed as they say. The fact that someone as seemingly self-sufficient as Gojo not only relies on Geto a great deal, but lets Geto take care of him is probably a big part of their bond.

Which is probably why Gojo's awakening post Toji is a big part in why they started to grow apart from each other. If Geto likes to live in service to other people, and defines himself by his connection to others he probably interpreted Gojo no longer needing his support on missions and suddenly doing everything by himself as Gojo pulling away from him.

I think a big part in Geto's downfall was the hit he took when one he was defeated by Toji someone without Jujutsu and too, Gojo suddenly became out of his reach. Gojo himself never said that they were no longer the strongest duo, or that they were no longer the strongest together it's all Geto. As I said Geto has as much of a god complex as Gojo does.

He thought they were on the top together, and not only is he suddenly confronted with his own weakness at the exact same time Gojo's become so strong it appears on the surface that he no longer needs anyone's support, especially not Geto's.

Nanami says it out loud, but Geto probably echoes the sentiment. If Gojo is now strong enough to handle every mission on his own then what need does he have for other sorcerers - and Geto in particular? Geto goes from feeling needed in a lot of ways by Gojo who was just as important a friend to him as he was to Gojo to watch Gojo suddenly handle everything alone. In a lot of ways it probably felt like Geto lost Gojo far before the KFC breakup and his defection from Jujutsu High. From Geto's perspective their relationship was over, their partnership broken and Gojo just did not realize it until after the village massacre.

At first Geto had as big of an ego with Gojo, and connected in a special way with him because the two of them were on top together. However, he came to believe that the only reason their partnerhsip worked was because they were both the strongest. When Gojo became the strongest alone Geto believed incorrectly that what they once had was lost and Gojo no longer needed him when Gojo's emotional reaction to Geto's defection shows that's anything but true.

In Geto's mind it is though because he's kind of got the same messed up way of dividing people into strong and weak that Gojo does, he probably just realized that he was one of the weak ones and feared Gojo thinking the same way.

During Geto and Gojo's final confrontation he almost has an inferiority complex about it when he talks about how if he had the limitless he'd easily be able to accomplish what he set out to do.

Until that moment Geto always thought they were equals, but now Geto's suddenly talking like he covets Gojo's power. He suddenly wants to be Gojo, probably because he incorrectly believes that their partnership is base don being equals in power when it's really just a normal friendship.

Which is why the loss of Gojo's friendship affects Geto just as badly as the other way around. Everyone wants to be equals with their friends, especially to a friend as important as Gojo was to Geto.

There's almost a tragic irony in how when speaking of his friendship to Nanako and Mimiko, Geto acts like their friendship ended when Gojo left Jujutsu High. It's their in his death scene too, Geto is surprised by the fact that Gojo has any feelings left for him.

Geto's so insecure over his connection to Gojo he didn't understand that in Gojo's mind they were still friends right up until the very end, and perhaps if he were just a bit more secure they would have been able to reach one another instead of falling apart.

#jjk meta #geto suguru #suguru geto #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #satosugu #metasks

[anki-of-beleriand]

Bad Liar ch. 10

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers

Warnings: Slow burn - slightly Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - idiots in love - homophobia - more tags as the story progress.

Author's note: There are some revelations as Reader takes a leap of faith and Wanda is finally confronted with her emotions, Kate is finally getting some progress, and someone just spot the twins in the mall.

As always, English is no my mother tongue, so please forgive the grammar, spelling and funny mistakes!

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 10

Breaking the distance

The snow was falling slowly right outside your window.

There was a small smile playing on your lips, you could hear Maria giving you a full debrief of the latest developments on the different projects you were leading. A part of your mind was on what she was saying, but your other half, the one daydreaming at the moment was replying to the last couple of days inside your head.

From the moment you met her, you knew there was something about Wanda Maximoff that would either drive you mad or make you fall in an instant. It wasn’t only about her looks, for you had always thought she was a beautiful woman, it was more about her own personality, her stubbornness, and her witty nature that made you believe she was out there to drive you off the wall.

Then, you actually got to know her.

She wasn’t as self-centered as you thought she was, and she certainly wasn’t as strong or as bitchy as she pretended to be. What you discovered behind those green eyes was someone vulnerable, someone reaching out to protect her children and to feel loved. Whatever scars she was carrying from her past were deep enough to make her vulnerable and strong and the same time.

You couldn’t help but remember the recent weekends you spent in her company; you never thought you would look forward to meeting with her or her children, to actually spend such special moments with her while fully aware of the growing tension between the both of you. It had been subtle at first, perhaps the tension carried by the fact you had been a bitch to her, and she was still slightly guarded around you. Then, you realized there was something else in there, you knew you were attracted to her that was the reason why you were so careful with your own delusions.

Yet, you couldn’t deny the recent looks she sent your way, or the lingering touches or the deepest of your conversations whenever you two were alone. You couldn’t help but long for these moments to be real, for those accidental touches and that timid smile to mean what your heart craved. That weekend, while America was trying to ease the pain on her back with the twins helping her around brought you closer to Wanda. In your mind, her green eyes lingered, her words, and the softness of her lips on your cheek moments before she left with the promise of coming back the next day. And the day after that, and the day after that one.

Your heart trembled, and your jaw clenched tightly at the overwhelming emotions running rampage inside you.

“You’re not paying attention to me. Again.” Maria huffed leaning back against her chair, the cold reproach in her voice broke you from your thoughts, you turned around smiling apologetically at Maria before settling yourself on your seat.

“Sorry, Maria, not my intention.” You laced your fingers together your eyes drifting to your mobile then back to Maria. “I just got a lot in my mind, what with the festival coming over next week and…”

“And Wanda.” Maria finished shaking her head. “Really, if I didn’t know better, I would say you two had a date tonight.”

“I wish.” You mumbled lowering your face to hide your blushing cheeks.

“You two still in the ‘we’re only friends’ phase?” Maria stated amusedly, she put her tablet on the table taking a closer look at you.

Maria Hill had been your father’s personal assistance, when he died, she took it upon herself to teach you the general workings of the company before presenting her resignation letter. She didn’t assume you would stay with her by your side, but it was obvious to you the woman was a valuable asset and a great friend you couldn’t let go. So Maria stayed and since then, she had always been the voice of reason around the company.

The older woman had seen you as of late, the moment Wanda Maximoff came into your life she had seen the changes from that fake annoyance in your voice whenever you mentioned her to the subtle affection in your tone as of late, Maria knew there was something there. You had changed so much; you were heard humming happily whenever you thought no one was looking. From time to time, a content smile would decorate your features, while your fingers tapped happily on any surface.

Whatever was happening with Wanda Maximoff certainly had a positive effect on you, and the other woman. Maria had heard Natasha talked about the other woman as well, how she was more relaxed as of late, how her smile was easy on her lips and she was always just waiting patiently to go into her phone and continue a conversation she had left unfinished with you. Natasha had seen Wanda grow while, at the same time, giving herself the chance to be herself without anyone dictating her life.

Now, if they both stopped being so stupid, everyone would be happier for them.

“We are friends, you know?” You rolled your eyes when Maria merely snorted.

“Right, but you want to be something more, don’t you?” Maria inquired, leaning forward.

You hesitated for a moment before shrugging in defeat, “I do but I think…I just don’t know how to approach this, Maria, she is just…confusing at times, you know?”

“No, not really, what do you mean?”

You contemplated the hard surface of your desk, your mind going through all the moments you had shared with Wanda so far. The mixed signals, as well as those conversations that had left you wondering if perhaps the woman was really looking for something else or she was just being nice. You really had been diving into an ocean of confusion that was finally catching up to your resistance and it was starting to drive your crazy.

“I just think…well, she has children, right? And a husband, right? I mean, she is not even divorced yet and well, nobody assures me she will get one any time soon. And perhaps I’m reading too much into her being nice.” You intertwined your hands rolling your eyes. “I feel like an idiot.”

Maria offered a comforting smile, she had never found herself so inclined to broke a promise she made to Natasha as she felt at that moment.

“You are overthinking, Y/N. You are not an idiot, but I do think you should have a serious conversation with Wanda.” Maria trailed off for a moment before continuing. “You have been dancing around this topic for far too long, why don’t take a chance? Why don’t just be honest?”

“What if I am wrong?” You asked softly, Maria smiled at you and the question that left her mouth next made you tremble with anticipation.

“What if you are not and you are actually loved?” Maria hesitated for a moment; she locked her eyes with you before continuing. “Don’t let this chance slip away from you, Y/N. Life is too short, and taking a leap of faith may lead to that happy ending you and her deserve.”

“Why do I have the feeling that you know something I don’t, Maria?” You retorted narrowing your eyes at Maria, the other woman shifted on the chair looking away from you.

“Talk to Wanda, Y/N. This is not my story to tell.”

“Everyone seems to know that story but me, why?”

Maria grimace shrugging, “not really my place, boss, now if you don’t mind me getting away from this conversation we could continue talking about your projects, and what we have been doing with Jarvis.”

You opened your mouth ready to protest but decided against it, Maria would not tell you what you wanted but mostly what you needed. And Maria was right about something, you needed to talk to Wanda and get the full story from her before making any rash decision. With a heavy heart, and a whirlpool of thoughts, you gave your full attention to the report and the situation with Jarvis.

________________________

When Wanda glanced at her reflection in the bathroom mirror she found herself looking into the eyes of a completely different woman.

A year ago, Wanda found herself scared to death while the cries of her children were muffled by the basement door. Vision had been furious after a party in which Billy, Tommy and Wanda had failed to make a good impression and had costed Vision a business deal with an important businessman. The twins had been locked the hole weekend, and Wanda…

Wanda shivered at the memory of the abuse she suffered that day.

But now, almost a year later, she was different.

She was no longer Wanda Jarvis, nor was she Wanda Frank.

She was Wanda Maximoff.

The only way she got to be closer to her mother, her brother, and her family.

Now that Wanda was looking at her reflection, she could see the longer hair and the green eyes gleaming with life. The traces of fear were no longer marking her features, and while letting go of her past was hard, she no longer feared her home, or loud noises, or the fact she was not on time with her house chores. And her children were free, they had grown so much in the last couple of months, the fear left them completely and instead of running from their neighbour, they were just excited to see them, to share time with them and have Wanda just as happy as them. 

No, the woman looking at her back was a woman that was discovering new things about herself. 

Wanda offered a tentative smile, her hand lifting up to the spot you had kissed that morning before saying goodbye. It was a foolishly gesture, something you had taken upon yourself to do whenever the both of you parted ways. The kiss was simple enough, but it lingered in Wanda's cheek with a burning fire Wanda was still uncertain to admit. 

She dropped her eyes, her phone unlocked and open in the conversation she was having with you. Since America had gotten into her little accident whatever time Wanda spent at home she either spent it at your place or hers. It had become a habit, preparing dinner and sharing some good conversation as well as watching some silly TV show in the company of the twins and America. 

And every morning, whenever you two crossed paths before going to your respective jobs, you would just approach Wanda wished her a good day and kiss her cheek. Wanda placed a hand on her face, her cheeks burning up and her lips curling slightly. She felt like a teen all over again, experimenting the tingling emotion of new discoveries, new relationships, new attractions. 

Attraction. 

Yes, because Wanda could no longer kid herself with what she was feeling, you had become an important part of her new life, and with you she had discovered something she thought buried a long time ago. She was attracted to you, she liked your smile and your silliness as much as she found exasperating your smugness and know it all nature. Wanda found herself thinking about you, waiting to see you, wanting to talk to you and that scared her in ways no many could comprehend. It wasn't only the fact that Wanda didn't think you would find her remotely interesting to consider anything at all with her, it wasn't only the fact that you were dating someone already. It was also the fear Wanda kept in her of getting lost in another relationship, of losing herself once more and not being able to be her. 

“You are thinking too hard, Wanda.”

Wanda jerked away from her reflection turning to see Natasha standing by the door of the bathroom. The older woman smiled at her, a single eyebrow lifted while her long legs carried her to the sink. 

“Are you alright?” Natasha inquired in the same sisterly tone she had taken to use with Wanda. 

“Yes, I am just… Nervous.” Wanda revealed, Natasha took that chance to teased her. 

“Nervous about our meeting with Y/N, or about the divorce papers?” Natasha gauged her reaction; Wanda opened her eyes wide hiding away her blush by bussing herself with her phone. 

“The… The divorce, of course.”

“Of course.” Natasha rolled her eyes but said nothing, she then put on a serious mask making sure Wanda understood the seriousness of what she was going to say.

“I know that this is a huge step, but you just have to sign them with the full custody of the twins papers and I will take care of everything else.” Natasha could see the tension building in Wanda, but this time around it came with a silent anger and determination she didn't feel months ago. 

Natasha was happy to see the progress, and if everything went fine the man would spend the rest of his life in jail. 

“I know, I already signed them, I just…” Wanda hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I really don't want to see him anymore, and this is going to be a long process that may come in the way…”

“You don't have to worry about that, Wanda. We have you covered and he would never know where you are hiding.”

Natasha could see there was something else bothering Wanda she waited putting a hand on Wanda’s forearm. Wanda lifted her eyes giving in and saying what was really tormenting her. 

“I haven't told Y/N the complete story, you know? What if… What if she finds out?” She sounded vulnerable, as if the mere idea of you knowing such a detail of her life really scared her. 

“Why haven't you told her?” Natasha asked but Wanda merely shrugged. 

“I just didn't want her to think less of me, I guess.” Wanda heard herself shaking her head and breaking into a bitter smile. “I just didn't want her to know how weak I am.”

“You know Y/N thinks the world of you, right?” Natasha balanced the knowledge she had of you and Wanda, of the growing relationship between the both of you before deciding she could push Wanda in the right direction. 

“She does?” Wanda looked surprised at this, Natasha nodded and continued. 

“You are a strong woman, Wanda. And Y/N can only see in you a strong woman, and someone she has come to really like.” 

There was a flicker of doubt shinning behind those green eyes, Wanda couldn't deny these words were somewhat comforting to her. But her doubt was rooted in the knowledge that you might had entertained the idea of liking her. Perhaps as something more than a friend.

“Don't think too much, Wanda,” this time around Natasha allowed the small contact with the young woman, her hand comforting on Wanda's shoulder, “let it flow, and let it be for the time being. You are doing fantastic so there is no rush.”

Wanda offered a tiny smile, she sighed following Natasha right outside the bathroom to the huddle room where you were waiting patiently for them to come in. 

Your face lit up at the sight of Wanda, and soon the both of you engaged in an animate conversation as if you had not seen one another in quite some time. Natasha observed from afar, she analysed your every gesture and your every word and soon she knew that all Wanda and you needed was time. 

Because everything else was already there. Two fools in love. 

_____________________

America had been out of commission for more than a week, she had tried to keep up with her physical therapy and her heart had been jumping in joy when Kate had joined in the different routines making sure America got them right. 

It had been a moment America had treasured greatly, Loki and Yelena had congratulated themselves for such a magnificent plan until Kamala chimed in to remind them Kate and America were technically still friends. 

This of course, didn't stop the pair who had everything planned out in the best way possible. Hence America nagging you with her plans for the day.

“So you're going to the movies?” You asked slightly confused by the comment. 

“Yes.” America nodded bouncing on her feet, she glanced at you then at her phone.

“I thought you were gonna babysit the twins while Wanda and I went to the school.” You made a gesture with your hand, trying to make sense of the request. 

“Yes, and I thought that we could see a movie with everyone else.” America leaned forward wiggling her eyebrows at you. “It will give you more time with Wanda, you know? And Billy and Tommy would be in good hands.”

You frowned looking away from your sister. 

“Have you told Wanda about this?”

America winced rolling her head, “Well, no. I haven't but… I have a card under my sleeve.”

You arched a brow at her, your chest filling with dread when you caught sight of her mischievous smile. 

“What did you do, America?”

“My dear sister, I know what you are experimenting and what you are going through.” America stated moving closer to you, her hands on your shoulders. “I have only cared for you to be happy, Y/N, and I can see Wanda makes you happy.”

Your body tensed completely, you tried to look away from America but whenever she stood her ground speaking at you with such a serious stare you knew there was nothing much you could do. America dropped her shoulders, her eyes hiding away the conflict inside her mind. 

“I don't want you to get hurt, you know?”

“I know.”

“If Wanda is someone you want then, the least I can do is to make sure you can be with her.” America offered a half smile, her hands squeezing your shoulders comfortingly. “But you need to do something already, this indecision would only create more confusion to you, to her and to the twins.”

“The twins?” You repeated blinking slowly. 

“Of course! They had noticed, you know?” America rolled her eyes at you. “They had noticed the changes in Professor Maximoff and in you, the amount of time we spent with one another, they may not understand but they know something is going on.”

You never stopped to consider that Wanda's children would be aware of what was happening. You didn't even consider the possibility, not because you thought they were fools, but because they were children. America opened her mouth to say something else but she stopped before anything came out of her mouth, while it was true that you shouldn't jump into any kind of relationship with a woman you didn't know too well, it was not her place to share her discoveries, Kate had explained to her that much. America stepped back, she knew what she had to do and that opportunity would present to her sooner rather than later, as soon as you and Wanda stopped dancing around one another. 

“So, you think…I mean, not that you are right but… You think there is a chance that anything may happen?” You asked casually, America snorted hugging you tightly. 

“You are an idiot.”

“Thank you, Lil sis, that's what I need to hear.”

America chuckled before going back to her initial request. 

“So, about the car…”

“Ugh, let's see first if Wanda agrees with this crazy plan then the car is all yours.” 

“Yes!” America punched you on the shoulder strolling down the hall calling her friends to share with them your approval. 

You snorted shaking your head, your eyes lifted to looked out of the window to the next-door house wondering what kind of conversation Wanda was having with her children. There was a moment of silence, your eyes fixated on the house next door until an idea formed in your mind; that Saturday would be the best chance you got to be with Wanda alone. It would be the chance to…

You sighed grabbing your phone and looking for the familiar name in your contact list. You chewed on your lower lip, if you didn’t take a leap of faith…you would never know, right?

“Hey, Ajak, how is it going?”

******

Just as America had told Y/N, the twins had noticed the changes in their lives.

It wasn’t that hard, the had spent most of their childhood afraid of the clock marking a specific time, or the door opening and closing, they had been afraid of the smell their dad usually brought with him when screaming and hitting at them. They had seen their mother cry, and they had seen and experimented the pain and the suffering the same way as Wanda did.

Then, one day, they just went inside a care and their mom took them down different roads, crying and confused until they reached anew house. It had taken some time, but Billy and Tommy had come to love their new home. They liked America who was always nice with them, she was always playing games with them or reading them stories or actually treating them like big boys. Tommy like Y/N first, while Billy just thought she was a silly woman.

Tommy disagreed with his brother, he had seen first hand how nice Y/N was and how good she was with medicine. Then, Tommy had seen how her mom smiled more often whenever Y/N was closed, and Billy had grumpily agreed with Tommy because Y/N seemed to be a constant figure in their lives.

And their mom liked Y/N.

Of that, the twins had not doubt.  And if their mom liked her, then they could like her as well, right?

The confusing part was to define what exactly meant for their mom to like Y/N; Balder had said that they wanted to kiss, but it was not possible because they were girls. Then, they started their own investigation when Balder told them that Nathaniel a boy in their class had two daddies, and then Balder talked about Val a friend of their dad that lived with another girl and they kissed one another.

It was confusing, but if their mom was happy then…well, then she needed to kiss Y/N.

It was either that, or their dad coming back. But they hated this idea, and they would prefer their mommy alone than back with their dad. Of that, their little minds were completely sure.

Now, the only thing they needed to do, according to Balder, was to make sure their mom knew they agreed to her and Y/N to kiss. It was only that, right?

Billy and Tommy glanced at one another; Tommy opened his eyes really big mouthing something to his brother. Billy scowled grabbing his glass of milk before speaking.

“Mommy, do you like Y/N?” Wanda was caught off of guard, the question made her choke on the coffee she had been drinking. Tommy gave his twin the thumbs up, but Billy was still scowling openly at his mom.

Wanda was coughing trying to recover ignoring that Tommy was swinging his legs in the air, his hand grabbing the spoon filled with cereal.

“I like Y/N! She is funny, and nice and she is… Warm.” Tommy scrunched up his nose, not really sure he had chosen the right words. 

“I…I…Warm?” Wanda stuttered.

“You are all red when she is here! Like when is hot in the house!” Tommy exclaimed as if that was enough explanation, Wanda winced trying to hide her mortified expression from the twins. 

“She makes mommy smile too.” Billy lifted his eyes to Wanda blinking innocently as he waited for an answer to his question. 

Wanda tried to take another sip from her coffee, her eyes glancing everywhere but at her children who were now focusing their attention on her. 

“Mommy?” Billy asked again, Wanda sighed placing her mug on the counter. 

“Yes, Billy, I like Y/N.” Wanda answered casually trying to quiet down the butterflies flying around her abdomen. 

“I like her too.” Billy nodded in agreement; Tommy grabbed another spoonful of cereal. “She is pretty.”

Wanda had to silently agreed with Billy, she softened her eyes slightly knowing her children really liked you a lot. It was one of the things that had made Wanda feel attracted to you. How easy you fit in with the twins, how you had earned their love and their friendship by being just plain silly with them. You and America had taught them how to be children again, how to let go of their fears of watching the clock every once in a while or trembling when the door opened and closed, or to let go of Wanda and run freely to have fun. 

“Mommy, do you have to go today?” Tommy asked softly, Wanda opened her eyes at the question, she had told them already that day they were needed it back at school to finish the decorations for the ball. 

“Yes, Tommy, but mommy won't take too long, and America is going to watch over you…”

“Can Y/N stay here too?” Billy asked and Wanda winced lightly at the request. 

“No, Billy, she will come with me to school.” 

Billy and Tommy glanced at one another; Wanda narrowed her eyes at the sudden spark of mischief that shone in their eyes. 

“Can we watch a movie?”

Wanda leaned forward waiting for the real request. 

“Yes, of course.” She answered tentatively. 

“Can America take us to the theatre to see a movie?” They both asked at the same time, Wanda opened her eyes leaning back as they grinned widely at her. 

Wanda hesitated before shaking her head. 

“To the cinema.” She clarified then, “you mean, to the mall?”

Billy and Tommy nodded eagerly, Wanda opened her mouth then closed it again, her mind going through the possibilities of her children going to the mall with America. Then, as she went to drink another sip from her coffee she almost choked again at Tommy's next words. 

“We promised we won't get mad if you and Y/N kiss each other, Mommy!”

“Tommy!” Billy exclaimed hitting his brother while Wanda tried to recover. 

“What?”

“Balder said you and Y/N want to kiss one another but that you need to be alone because that's what you do when you like someone.” Tommy said in one breath trying to get away from Billy who was trying to shut him up. “and you say you like Y/N!!”

“Tommy!! You ruined it!!” Billy scolded his brother crossing his arms and glaring at his twin. 

Tommy crossed his arms as well, red and slightly guilty at what he just said. Wanda placed a hand on her face, she was trying to collect her thoughts and had a serious conversation with her children when the doorbell sounded tearing her attention from the current situation to be door. 

“We will have a serious conversation about this, guys, but now stop glaring at one another and behave. I'm going to see who it is.”

Wanda was trying to regulate her heartbeat that actually skyrocketed when she opened the door to see you standing there. You were dressed rather casually, with a light jacket on and a scarf that helped out a little in the cold winter weather. Your grin showing off the dimples on your cheeks, with your eyes gleaming warmly at the woman standing in front of you. 

“Y/N!” Tommy was the first one to come running towards you, he wrapped his arms around you grinning while looking around until his eyes found America and he went right in to greet her as well. 

“Hope we didn't interrupt anything?” You asked after the silence stretched out for far too long. 

“Oh, no, no we were having breakfast.” Wanda stated not overly excited to tell you what she had been talking about with the twins. “Would you like to come on in? I was getting ready, but I thought we will go later today.”

Billy was standing to the side, his eyes narrowed and the small scowl he had been wearing before was back on his face. You hesitated before going over to him, your hand stretched out. 

“Good morning, Billy.” The boy glance at your hand, then at you and Tommy before taking your hand. 

“Hi.” He then stepped back and went to hug America who winced at the force the twins had greeted her with. 

Wanda winced but you merely chuckled, shrugging. 

“So I know we said later but… I have a proposal for you.” Your grin was infectious and soon Wanda found herself smiling back. 

America held back the twins, whispering with them while glancing at the adults every once in a while. 

“What proposal?”

“Well, you can have lunch with me.” You sounded more confident that what you really felt, your heart was threatening to leave your chest and your palms had gotten sweaty all of a sudden. “I mean, we could have lunch and then go to the school. America and her friends were thinking of doing something today and well, that includes taking Tommy and Billy to the movies… If you agree?”

Wanda soon found herself being cornered by her children, one teenager, and you all four looking at her with puppy eyes and pleadingly smiles. She gave in, it was hard not to do so even with the latent fear of having her children going outside with people that was not her, and perhaps risking their well-being by getting spotted by someone of their previous life. 

“We're not going to be alone, though.” America decided to intervene, she had the twins on each hand making sure she could show just how responsible she was. “Thor and Sif will come with us, Balder is also and we were actually going with them because they are planning Loki’s birthday party so… We won't be alone.”

“And, it's free lunch, so it's a win-win situation.” You completed it, Wanda knew her battle was lost the moment she found herself looking into your warm eyes smiling back at you with a hint of disbelief in her features. 

It was such a foolishly thing to fall for, she decided to ignore the warmth filling up her chest as well as the fluttering wings of butterflies in her lower abdomen. She felt her mind melting at the sight, and her cheeks coloured pink when you winked at her. 

“And mommy can kimphf.” Billy and America both grabbed Tommy silencing him before he could finish the sentence. 

You furrowed your brows, America was shaking her head while smiling apologetically at you. Tommy and Billy were arguing while Wanda had placed a hand on her face, slightly mortified and embarrassed. 

“So, what did I miss?”

“Nothing, just never mind, I think that's a good idea.” Wanda spoke quickly placing a hand on your forearm. “I was finishing something up, and then I guess you guys can go and…”

“And we can go too. Excellent, need any help?”

By the time midday arrived you were on the road with Wanda glancing at her watch and phone every chance she got. The car drive was silent, with not a single word shared between you just as you drove down streets Wanda had barely recognized. 

“They're gonna be fine, you know?” You finally said glancing at the woman beside you out of the corner of your eye. 

Wanda let out a snort, her eyes closing lightly before she leaned back on the seat. 

“I know.” She hesitated playing with the idea of telling you her real concern before dismissing the idea with a sigh. “I just… I have never let them go out without me, you know?”

You pursed your lips before speaking, “if you want we can join them, I can take the exit down there and we will be there in twenty minutes.”

Wanda turned sharply at you, her eyes opened and her brows lifted. 

“Really? You… You would do that?”

“It is obvious you are not comfortable, Wands, and that you want to be there with them.” You explained softening lightly, your hand sneaking around to grab hers in yours. “If it is important to you, then it is important to me.”

Wanda swallowed down her emotions, her hand squeezing yours. She played with the idea of accepting your proposal, she had this bad feeling with her children but she was also conscious this was due to her paranoid mind. She glanced at her hand and yours, before shaking her head. 

“I just think I need time, that’s all. We don't have to go over there.” Wanda felt her hand twitched before she let it rest against yours. “We haven't been this far from one another in a while, and well…”

Wanda trailed off she was not ready to share with you her tumultuous past. Or the story of her abusive husband. She was happy with the knowledge you had only seen the new Wanda, her new family and no what she was. 

“I can't even imagine what would be when they are dating.”

You chuckled, a content smile playing on your lips while you drove with a single hand. 

“I don't think it would be that terrible, you know?” Your eyes wandered around the mirror to take a look at Wanda. “Are you afraid they would bring a girl or a boy home?”

Wanda found herself shocked by the question, she looked out of the car thinking over before speaking her thumb caressing the palm of your hand absentmindedly. 

“I'm afraid they will bring a bad person home. I just want them to be happy with the right one.”

You could tell there was more to that story, but your attention was soon grabbed by your mobile announcing the proximity of the restaurant you had been looking for. Wanda leaned forward finding Olympia in all her glory standing proudly in the midst of powerful decorations of ancient times. 

“Today we're going to try a different setting, if you don't mind?”

Wanda tilted her head curious, she then smiled at you. 

“Not at all, free food, right?”

You chuckled parking the car while tilting your head to the side, “free food.”

The place was still packed, and this time around Wanda didn’t feel the pressure of being around so many people as she felt it before. There were families and group of friends all around the restaurant, the noise increased as they stepped further inside the building. You had said no word to Wanda yet, but to ensure she was never too far behind you grabbed her hand in yours leading her through the tables and the people until you found yourself at the back of the building.

Ajak was waiting for you there.

The older woman had the same smile she wore last time, in her eyes Wanda could recognize the traces of intelligence mixed up with the knowledge of unknown secrets. She was standing by a glass door, inside Wanda could see a world filled with colours, and she couldn’t help but stepped forward her curiosity sparked by the beautiful sight in front of her.

Your eyes followed Wanda around, there was no doubt in your mind that seeing the smile on her face and the innocent excitement in her expression was enough for you to be happy as well. Ajak snorted knowingly stepping aside while showing the doorknob decorated with golden holding the glass door closed.

“I hope traffic was not too bad, Y/N.” Ajak spoke her eyes going from Wanda to you.

“Not at all, Ajak, how is business so far?”

“You know, this is the best season for me.” Ajak shrugged this time around turning to Wanda. “And, Wanda, I hope your children are doing okay?”

Wanda was slightly taken aback; she offered a tentative smile nodding.

“They are, thank you.”

Ajak offered a tilt of her head before placing her hand on the doorknob, there was a strange tension in the air and Wanda had just noticed this section of the restaurant was not that busy. She looked around the place before her eyes settled in you, you shifted with some hesitation before stepping forward.

“Well, as always, I’m glad to make my customers happy, so I hope you liked what we did here.” Ajak opened the door stepping aside, her eyes following you and Wanda inside the glassed domo.

The theme chosen to decorate this place had been nature.

Wanda gasped the cold of the day forgotten as a warmth breeze caressed her skin, the sweet aroma of flowers and nature filled her nostrils while her eyes were enchanted by the sight of colourful flowers and multiple plants that create a path stretching out deeper inside the dome. Wanda had forgotten all about you, she just stepped inside touching the leaves of the closets tree finding this was actually a real tree and not some artificial creation. She walked down the road, her eyes gleaming excitedly taking notice of the sunflowers and the roses, she even got sight of orchids and some palms.

“You really know how to woo a girl, don’t you?” Ajak whispered beside you, you almost jerked away forgetting all about the older woman.

When you turned to face her, Ajak was already smiling knowingly at you. There was no use in denying what was happening or what you were trying to accomplish, you shrugged lightly lowering your face before speaking.

“Do you think…she likes it?” You finally asked, Ajak placed a hand on your forearm shaking her head.

“I think she loves it, and I think you are in deep trouble.” Ajak didn’t let you defend yourself, she merely nodded towards the greenhouse placing a gadget on your hand. “Everything is ready over there, Thena was already warned so you just had to press the button and they will bring everything, okay?”

“Thank you, Ajak, I really owed you one.”

Wanda was already walking down the artificial road by the time you caught up with her.

The young woman turned to you, and the sheer happiness she was wearing at the moment was something you realized you were not familiar with. Something inside you stirred with affection, your own expressions softening while it was quite evident you could not look away from her.

“This is amazing, Y/N, how did you find out about this place?” Wanda asked never losing her smile.

“Well, Olympia is really famous for being a themed restaurant and having the best food in the country.” You replied standing closer to Wanda. “And this place, is a new environment she was trying to get tested, so…I thought, why not?”

Wanda offered a tentative smile, looking away while trying to understand why she was feeling disappointed. You opened your mouth to say something else, but decided against it, your hand twitched at your side until you made up your mind and soon you were grabbing Wanda’s hand in yours.

“I hope you like it, I just thought of you when they offered me to try out this place.” You waited until those green eyes turned to you, this time around Wanda broke all pretences and there was a glint of vulnerability in her stare.

“Really? Why did you think about me?” Wanda could tell her question made you nervous, you avoid her eyes while stepping back bringing her over with you walking slowly down the road.

“I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, Wanda.” The sheer honesty behind your words made the other woman hesitated, you didn’t dare to look at Wanda and instead of that you turned around your voice being carried by the echo in the greenhouse.

“I couldn’t help but think you may really like this place, and perhaps that I could make you smile.” Then you tilted your head back, and the smile that showed on your face was one filled with doubts and longing. “I hope I am not overstepping or that you I mean, I just I’m not sure if…”

“This is perfect, thank you for the gesture.” Wanda didn’t let go of your hand, but her body language turned confusing for you it was as if Wanda was fighting with herself, she had stepped closer to you yet her eyes turned into stormy whirlpools of green.

There was an obvious tension around you two, and you knew if you were to lean in you would be able to discover the taste of her lips. Wanda was standing there, her eyes travelling around your face falling always on your lips before she returned to your eyes; she wished she was stronger, that she probably was more daring to end with her confusion and her curiosity but…what if you didn’t want to? What if you rejected her? What if Wanda was reading the situation incorrectly?

She could lose everything, and what she had found with you was something she didn’t want to let go off anytime soon.

“Can you show me around?” Wanda finally whispered; your stomach dropped in disappointment but you didn’t give up. Instead, you just put on a smile leading Wanda around while telling her the story of Olympia.

The greenhouse had been built right outside the main building, it was erected with tempered glass that gave the place the right environment to keep most the plants and flowers alive. The road had been made with wooden planks that twisted and turned around the place giving the visitors a nice view of the flora growing inside the dome. The main dining area was actually at the very centred, in which a pond rested filled with water flowers and a huge Oak tree. The dining sets were all made of bamboo, simple yet fashionable and comfortable; Wanda was beyond herself surrounded by such beauty.

It wasn't only the sight of the trees, or the flowers, not even the warm climate or the pond that was giving up the impression of a multicoloured source of water.

“This is amazing.” Wanda said breathily, she walked towards the only table that had been set up, her heart fluttering in her chest. What was the meaning of all of this?

By the time Wanda turned to you, it was easy to read the questions and the confusion inside her eyes. You wished there was an easy explanation for what you had done, for what you had planned in less than an hour that very morning. But the truth was, you couldn't. Whatever explanations you might have gone out of the window when she faced you with such a gleeful expression.

“I'm glad you like it, we are the very first ones to try this place out so…” You walked past her putting the chair out, your hand showing off the empty chair. “Madam, if you might…”

Wanda dipped her head hiding away the flush on her cheeks, with a hesitant step she went to the offer chair sitting down. 

“How did you do it?” Wanda asked, waving her hand at you as you sat in front of her. “How did you get a table in this place?”

“Oh, Ajak was a friend of my parents, my father even provided some investment to her business.” You shrugged. “She has always been kind to us, and she always has a table for my family.”

“But this is a new environment.” Wanda could see your shifting on the chair, your eyes looking everywhere but at her.

“Yeah, Ajak was needing some testers, and I thought we could be those testers.” You tried to sound casual, fixing the napkin on the table before lifting your eyes offering a half smile. “She is supposed to open this formally by the end of the year.”

Wanda placed her elbows on the table, her eyes dancing around the place before she set them on you firmly.

“Well, this is nice, thank you again.”

“I think your smile is thank you enough, Wands, you really should try smiling more often.” You replied before you could stop yourself, Wanda’s smile grew just a little with her cheeks colouring pink.

“I…” Wanda bit her lower lip ready to ask something when the sound of footsteps called her attention.

Your eyes lit up, and as soon as the owner of those footsteps show up you stood up and met the older woman halfway. Wanda shifted uncomfortably on the chair, her stomach twisted unpleasantly while her hand grabbed the closest napkin tightly; Wanda rolled her eyes turning around to fixed her attention in something else when the older woman leaned in to place a kiss on your cheek.

“You look just as beautiful as I remember, Y/N.” Thena leaned in, her clear eyes falling on Wanda that had her back to you two. The older woman raised a single elegant eyebrow, her attention coming back to you.

“And you, my dear Thena, are as flirty and as mischievous as I remember.” You shared a smile; the older woman placed a hand on your shoulder before stepping forward to go over to Wanda.

“And you must be, Mrs. Maximoff, am I right?” Then stretched out her hand to Wanda who looked like a deer caught in the headlights, she put her chair back her hand trembling as she grabbed Thena blinking away her confusion.

“I…yeah, yeah, you are…”

“The chef.” Thena lifted a single hand and soon two waitresses came right in. “As a courtesy, I would like to offer you a simple appetiser with drinks, you will have a chance to look at the menu and as soon as you decided you can go ahead and call for us.”

“Thank you, Thena.” You sat down looking excitedly at the table, wiggling your fingers as everyone set up the table.

“Don’t even mention it, I am always more than happy to attend to you and any of your women when you come here. Please, enjoy.”

You opened your eyes wide at those words, you opened your mouth to protest but Thena left as fast as she had come. Wanda frowned lightly, waiting for the rest of the people to leave before she set her eyes on the menu in front of her.

“So, you bring many women here? Is that it?” She asked coldly, you gulped shaking your head.

“No! I don’t…” You sighed rolling your eyes before closing them. “I haven’t brought anyone here since Shuri.”

Wanda made a face, a mixture of disbelief and curiosity that didn’t went amiss by you. You fixed on your chair, selecting your favourite dish from the menu before speaking again.

“We were together since high school, you know? I thought we would be forever, it was strange mainly because of our backgrounds.” You leaned forward making explanations that Wanda was not asking for but you had the need to share.

“When did…” Wanda trailed off, hesitating for a moment until your hand found hers on the table.

“What is it?”

“You may think I’m a fool.” She mumbled looking away from you, you chuckled brushing your thumb on the back of her hand.

“Come on! Nothing you said may make me think that, what is it?”

Wanda glanced at your joined hands, her heart skipping a beat feeling the overwhelming emotions drowning her senses. Whatever was happening at the moment, whatever had pushed you to invite her over for lunch that day and to spend the day alone with her, Wanda was still afraid of crossing over that thin line that had been drawn between the both of you in the last couple of weeks. But being here with you, enjoying the soft music playing in the air, and the beautiful place you had brought her to, Wanda could feel her resolution crumbling the moment you offered that tiny smile and those gleaming eyes.

“When did you realize you like women?” Wanda asked in a thin voice, almost shyly waiting for you to laugh or make fun of her question.

The question caught you by surprised, it didn’t make you laugh but it ignited some hopeful flame inside you. You shifted slightly, leaning to the side while never letting for of the hand you were holding.

“I mean, you don’t have to answer, is just, I was curious, I have never I mean…”

Wanda tried to let go of you, but you were faster than her, and her breath caught in her throat when you intertwined your hand with hers giving her a comforting squeeze. You relaxed into the chair, making sure that the other woman was as comfortable as she could be while you started sharing your story.

“Well, actually, it was quite funny, you know?” The world soon disappeared and in the midst of the greenhouse, near a pond and nature, you started sharing a part of you that not many had worried to ask before.

And, as you words filled Wanda with images of your memories, she herself felt a tug in her heart wanting nothing more than to know more about you, to know more about your process…to perhaps get to see if she was just as brave as you had been when you realized you like women.

______________

The mall was packed.

It seemed as if everyone had decided to go out on that very day to make any shopping and go to the movies. Billy and Tommy were excited to just go outside with America and her friends, they had learnt the hard way to never get too far from the grown ups and as memory goes, they didn’t remember the lats time they were allowed outside in such a place without the watchful eye of their father on them.

As soon as they arrived at the mall, Balder and Loki joined them with Thor and Sif trying to set up some ground rules from the teen and child they were chaperoning for the day. Minutes later, America and Loki had been joined by Kate, Yelena, Kamala and Peter all of them ready to go to the movies before going for something to eat.

“You are a grown man, Loki, so I expect you to be in your best behaviour.”

“Yes, brother, I will be.” Loki rolled his eyes when Thor placed a hand on his shoulder trying to make the same gestures Odin used on him.

“Sif and I will start the shopping list, and we will be around if you need us,” this time around Thor redirected his attention to the rest of the group, “don’t get th youngest out of your sight, and if anything happens…”

“We will scream and ask for help, we know, Thor stop it!”

Thor opened his mouth, but stopped himself when Sif came in, this time around Loki gulped dropping his shoulders and submitting right away.

“We are just concern, Loki, and since you have three young boys under your care we want to make sure everything goes well.”

“We know, Sif, don’t worry, we have your phones and we won’t leave them alone.” Loki grumbled crossing his arms, Sif smile nodding and stepping away.

“Then we will see each other in the food court at 3pm, don’t be late.”

“No, ma’am.”

America held back her laughter when Yelena made a whop sound at Loki’s words, the young man glared at her while Kamala and Peter snickered. Kate held Billy’s hand in hers, she and America glanced at one another and decided to start walking down the hall towards the cinema. Tommy was holding onto America, his eyes huge glancing around the place quite excitedly, squeezing America’s hand while pointing around to the stores.

“America! Look! Look! Did you see that?” Tommy squealed dragging America to a toy store, America chuckled following him with a smile in place.

“Yeah, Tommy, this is one of the biggest toy stores in here, if you want we can go in after the movie.”

Tommy turned to her wide eye, his mouth hanging open.

“Really?”

America almost winced, it was as if Tommy really was completely shocked to be on a place like the shopping centre and more so that he would be allowed to go into a toy store. Kate stood by her side, Billy was standing by her but his eyes were just as wide as those of her brother’s.

“Yeah, kiddo, really.”

America felt a hand on her lower back, she turned to see Kate smiling at her reassuringly, and the young woman returned the smile leaning into the touch. Billy lifted his eyes curious at the interaction, with Tommy blinking with curiosity before grabbing Kate’s hand. The young brunette lowered her stare and her heart almost exited her chest when Tommy joined her hand with that of America, the both of them blushing just as Tommy and Billy each one of them stood by the corners with America and Kate standing closed to one another.

“You know? Those two are far more subtle than you two.” Kamala stated to Loki who had just giving Peter the task to take care of Balder.

“So it seems.” Loki smirked, turning to Yelena and Kamala before speaking loudly, “did you see Chavez and Bishop blush like a pair of schoolgirls with a crush?”

“Shut up, Loki!” America and Kate exclaimed at the same time.

Tommy and Billy had taken it upon themselves to make sure Kate and America were as closed as they could be without crossing the line between friendship and something else.

By the time the movie had started they both sat closed to one another, with billy sitting at America’s right and Tommy sitting at Kate’s left side. America accommodated herself on the seat, her eyes would seek Kate every once in a while finding the other teen smiling at her while also engaging Tommy in small conversation.

“I think this is a good idea.” Kate whispered in America’s ear, the young woman shivered turning to see Kate’s face was dangerously close to hers.

“Wh-what?” America winced at her stutter, Kate merely rolled her eyes leaning closer resting her head on America’s shoulder.

“I think this is a good idea, Tommy and Billy are really enjoying the movie. And I bet your sister is having a good time as well.”

“Oh, yeah, I think so to. But this is thanks to you, Kate.” America hesitated before placing a single kiss on her friend’s forehead.

Kate smiled contentedly, “I guess we really are good together.”

America’s breath caught in her throat, she dared to grabbed Kate’s hands in hers knowing Kate could hear the hammering of her heart at the moment.

“I guess…I guess we do.”

Kate smirked into the movie, she knew it would be just a matter of time, she really hoped so because she was tired of playing the game of mouse and cat with America. Without anything else to say, they spent the rest of the movie holding hands ignoring the knowing glances their friends were sending their way.

By the time they exited the movie, it was almost three in the afternoon.

The movie had been silly, and they found themselves laughing and having a good time shooting cautious glances at one another all through the movie, leaning closer to one another until it was quite obvious tension had been building amongst them. The group had decided to move onto the food court while Loki tried to contact Thor and Sif.

America winced seeing the place completely packed, it seemed as if every single person in the city decided to go that day to the shopping centre.

“There are too many people.” Kamala made a face standing on the tip of her feet trying to look around.

“Ugh, I’m hungry, we should have eaten before going to the movie.” Peter tilted his head grabbing his stomach. “Come, Kam, let’s see if there is anything at the back.”

“Be right back, guys.”

America watched as Peter and Kamala left, and Yelena and Loki made a quick exploration of the different food stalls. Kate observed as Tommy rubbed his eyes, he yawned turning to America and tugging on her sleeve.

“Are you okay, Tommy?” America knelt, tilting her head.

“I’m sleepy.” Tommy yawned again wrapping his arms around America’s neck, the young woman melted picking him up in her arms.

Kate came around with Billy who was still quite active shooting his brother curious glances.

“Is everything alright?” Kate turned to the food court rolling her eyes when she spotted the rest of the group still struggling to get a table.

“Yeah, Tommy is tired, and I think we won’t find any place to sit.” America made a face with Kate wincing as well.

“I think you’re right.” Kate then perked up her eyes growing wide. “Oh, what if we grab the food and go back to your place? Tommy and Billy really looked tired and well…”

“Can we?” Billy mumbled as well, “I’m tired too.”

America shrugged fixing tommy in her arms, Kate melted lightly at the overprotective nature of America with these kids that had ended up becoming like little brothers to her. Kate hesitated for a moment before stepping closer to get Tommy in her arms, America furrowed her brows but the young woman merely shook her head.

“Your back is not completely healed yet, and you look as if you need a hand.” Kate blushed lightly when her hand brushed against America’s. “Besides, you’re the only one that can get them to behave.”

“Thank you, Kate.” America made sure Tommy was comfortable, she leaned closer until her eyes met those of Kate. For a brief moment the both of them looked at one another, like this America could see the soft pink colour in Kate’s cheeks.

Then, as if she just thought about that, America leaned in placing a kiss on Kate’s cheek.

“I’ll be right back then. Billy you take care of them.”

“Yes!”

America winked at Kate turning around to get Loki and the others. Billy shot a curious glance to Kate who was smiling like a fool, her cheeks completely red by now. Tommy stirred in the young woman’s arms, his eyes going wide when he spotted a woman right at the other end of a store. He shivered trying to hide his face while holding tightly onto a very distracted Kate.

Billy stood right beside Kate, talking once more about his favourite cartoon before Balder and the others joined Kate.

No one of them, not even Thor and Sif once they caught up with the group, realized they were being watched. None of them noticed the older woman stepping out of the store with her phone on her hand, her eyes going wide and a frown adorning her features as she went through her contacts to dial a familiar number.

“Vision dear, I hope you’re doing okay.” Agatha Harkness smiled into the phone, her eyes losing sight of the twins but she had already seen enough. “I’m good thank you, I was visiting my sister here in the city when, you won’t believe who I just saw, dear. Your children are here, Tommy and Billy. No, Wanda is not with them. Of course, let me tell you everything.”

The lights in your house and Wanda’s were out.

You parked the car right outside Wanda’s garage, the other woman had fallen asleep along the way knowing her children had gotten home earlier than expected and were just sleeping happily in your home. Snow had started falling by the time you two made it back, the school organization had taken most of the afternoon and the evening, but everything had been left ready for the kids to have a nice festival during the week, and the seniors to have a good dance on Friday.

You turned to Wanda, the young woman was facing you with her right arm around her abdomen and her mouth slightly open. You chuckled leaning in to see if she had started drooling yet, but seemed as if she was just in the early stages of sleep.

That day had been magical.

Wanda had been opened as well, she told you about her childhood back in Sokovia, she was happy telling you about her brother and her mother and how they had learnt English through old sitcoms while their father found a way to move permanently to the States. You had told Wanda about your first time facing your sexuality, and how you went through a lot of dates before finding Shuri. You told her about the tumultuous past with that relationship, the break-ups and the reconciliation, the lack of character on your part to end something that was going nowhere.

Then, everything turned into funny stories of failed mischief.

And her laughter had filled the auditorium while you supervised the set-up of the ice skat rink, and they set-up the music and the platform for the main event.  Your heart crushed under the overwhelming affection you felt for the woman sitting beside you, there was a hole in your abdomen filled with butterflies and uncertainty of what exactly you should do. Should you lean in and kiss her? Should just keep sending her messages about how much you like her?

You sighed turning to the house, then back to the woman that was still fast asleep. You wished you were braver than this, that you would just cross the line without the latent fear of losing everything if you were to finally close the distance between the both of you.

“I’m an idiot.” You mumbled before turning around and placing a single hand on Wanda’s cheek. “Hey, Wands, we’re here.”

Wanda stirred leaning into your touch with a single smile decorating her lips, she let her eyelids fluttered for a moment before letting out a yawn she tried to cover with her hand. You chuckled tugging a strand of hair behind her ear, your eyes softening lightly finding her green ones staring at you.

“We’re here already?”

“Yeah, just on time, is starting to snow.”

Wanda stretched out blinking away her sleepy state, she glanced out of the window grinning at the sight of snow falling right outside her window.  

“I love this season, you know? It reminds me of home and Pietro.” Wanda leaned back on the seat, wiggling her hands together before turning to you wrapping her arms around you, her mouth close to your ear. “Thank you, today was amazing, Y/N.”

“I’m glad you like it, Wands.” You smiled into the embrace, your hand drawing soothing circles in Wanda’s lower back. “I imagine you could use some grown up time, and I just…I want to see you smile.”

“Why?” Wanda leaned back, but not enough for you to not feel her warm breath on your face.

“You have a beautiful smile, Wands. I think you already know that.” You replied letting your fingertips played with some locks of her hair. “I thought it was pretty obvious how smitten I am for that smile.”

You knew that day you had been playing with fire, and while you had taken a leap of faith, Wanda was still as confused as ever. The young woman didn’t move from her position, and you almost choked yourself with your spit when she leaned over to place a single kiss on your cheek.

“You are not the only one smitten, Y/N, I also like it when you smile.” Then she leaned back and turned to your house. “I think we better go inside, it’s getting cold already.”

Without any more words, the both of you exited the car strolling down the entrance leading to your house; all the lights inside were off but you could see a silver one coming from the basement.

You made your way to the door with Wanda following you closed behind, by the time the both of you got to the bottom of the stairs you had to snort in disbelief at the scene.

“Seems like your house was the center of a sleep over.” Wanda wrapped her arms around herself, her lips curling into a soft smile that you shared with her.

“Looks that way, I guess we should let them, right?”

Tommy and Billy had arranged themselves at each side of Kate and America that were sharing the same space, Loki and Yelena were snuggling closer to one another, while Kamala and Peter were sprawled on the corner. There was a movie playing on the TV, but you decided to just leave it there. Everyone was fast asleep, and you could only guess the day for them had been just as tiresome as it had been for you.

“I think we better leave them be.” Wanda grabbed your hand tugging you to her and going upstairs, your heart skipped a beat at the gesture and soon you and Wanda were closing the door of the basement and moving to the kitchen.

“I guess I should get going, I mean…”

“You can stay, you know?”

There were no lights at home, and Wanda was still holding your hand in hers. The younger woman didn’t dare to look you in the eye, and you knew that if she did you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself. Wanda gulped chewing on her lower lip, you stepped closer shivering under the stare of the other woman.

“I shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

Wanda sighed but did not make any attempt to step back, “you know why.”

You tilted your head, your face falling and your eyes showing your shattered heart.

“I really don’t understand it.” You replied furrowing your brows. “I thought…”

Wanda shook her head, this time around she let go of your hand and her hands cupped your face. She was trembling, much like you were at the moment, and as you locked eyes with her you could see the struggle she was living. The tears in her eyes, the storm going on inside her head.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, Y/N, and being near you fills me with unbelievable happiness and I am scared.” Wanda fluttered her eyes close, and you could see a single tear rolling down her cheek. “there are things you don’t know and I wish…I want to tell you, but I just…”

“You need time.” You stated brushing tenderly the tears, Wanda nodded and her lower lip quivered waiting for an answer.

You nodded allowing your arms to sneak around Wanda’s waist pulling her closer to you until you were hugging her comfortingly in your arms. Wanda let out a sob and buried her face on your neck allowing the gesture while her hole body tingled with anticipation.

“So, this means…I didn’t read wrong any of this?” You mumbled softly, “I am known for reading incorrectly into many situations, and I don’t…”

“You didn’t. But I’m not…I just…” Wanda hid herself in the crook of your neck. 

“Cool, that’s okay. Don’t worry, I can wait.” You took a deep breath wondering at what moment this outing became such a deep revelation. Having Wanda in your arms felt like heaven, and you really wished you didn’t need to let got.

“You can stay still, you know? I have a guest room and if you…agree to stay with me I will behave.”

This last part made Wanda giggled, she stepped back with her cheeks turned completely red.

“What if I tell you I may not behave myself?” She asked with a glint of mischief in her eyes, you opened and closed your mouth scratching the back of your head feeling the heat rush to your core.

“I would say, follow your heart?”

Wanda laughed leaning in to place a single kiss at the corner of your lips, you closed your eyes only to open them and find her looking at you.

“I think the guest room is okay.”

“Good, then…let’s go.”

That night as you rested on your bed, your eyes fixated on the ceiling you couldn’t stop thinking about the woman sleeping in the other room. Your heart swelled with affection, your mind replaying all that happened that day and how close you felt to Wanda. That day you had crossed one line, and if what Wanda needed it was time, you could give it to her without any issue; you had come to realize she was worth it of the wait. With a single smile on your face, you turned around and fall asleep. Tomorrow would be another day.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Next Chapter: The Yule Ball is here! There is a Winter Festval everyone is enjoying and Wanda finally learns the meaning of family. Reader is determine to win her over, and Wanda is finally done waiting. There is a kiss, and some tragedy waiting to happen.

#fanfic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandaxreader #imagine wanda maximoff #female reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #reader

[thegirlwhowrites642]

do you think ginny’s loneliness is what pushed her to trust tom so easily ?

I don't think so, it is like that canonically.

"The diary," said Riddle. `My diary. Little Ginny's been writing in it for months and months, telling me all her pitiful worries and woes - how her brothers tease her, how she had to come to school with secondhand robes and books, how" -Riddle's eyes glinted "how she didn't think famous, good, great Harry Potter would ever like her. . ."

"It's very boring, having to listen to the silly little troubles of an eleven-year-old girl," he went on. "But I was patient. I wrote back. I was sympathetic, I was kind. Ginny simply loved me. No one's ever understood me like you, Tom…. I'm so glad I've got this diary to confide in…. It's like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket. . .

-- Chapter 17 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Loneliness is a defining part of Ginny's story.

What we know about Ginny's childhood is a perfect backstory for the diary bussiness.

Ginny grows up surrounded by brothers who exclude her because she is the youngest and a girl. To add to this, the Weasleys grew up fundamentally without any real relationships with other kids outside of the family (neither Ron nor Ginny have friends when they arrive at Hogwarts despite being purebloods in the main magic school in the British wizarding world, they never mention anyone else, no one is around in the summers at the Burrow, and they also don't seem to have ever significantly interacted with muggles). What this means is that Ginny doesn't have any alternative friends to compensate for the isolation. It's a lot worse than a random little sister whose older brothers don't want around. She doesn't have any other social settings but her home to develop those bonds.

So when Ginny arrives at Hogwarts her brothers keep up the whole excluding her thing, but this time around Ginny is in a completely new environment and not the comfort of her home.

A very relevant trait of Ginny's personality to take into consideration is her romanticism. She had dreamed for years of going to Hogwarts just like her brothers and probably had built up that experience a lot in her mind due to her romantic inclinations. So the fall is even stronger when she arrives in this new overwhelming environment. She finds herself having to deal for the first time in such a direct way with the judgment of her economic condition (middle school kids are brutal little shits). And she has to once again observe the lack of support from her brothers. It's realistic to assume this might be the first time Ginny truly processes her brothers' tendency to not want her around, she is only eleven after all, and not being in a family setting would highlight their behaviour.

All of this goes to create a reasonably very strong sense of isolation.

Then of course there's also Harry. The fun outgoing Ginny we meet in the later books is not someone Ginny learned to be, but someone Ginny had to learn how to come back to. That's Ginny's natural personality, as we know from Ron but even from what we see of her in the first book. Consequently, we also know that her being a bit of a mess in front of Harry is an atypical reaction, one that makes her feel ashamed of herself in front of a boy she likes, a figure she grew up admiring through stories (again, I can't stress enough how important it is to remember Ginny's romantic heart). So the more she feels ashamed, the more she acts like an idiot, and the more she acts like an idiot the more she feels ashamed. This of course does absolutely nothing to increase her self-esteem, quite the opposite really. And this as her initial condition when she arrives at Hogwarts is not exactly ideal.

Of course, for such a lonely little girl Tom's diary is a perfect island to refuge herself in.

But it's also a bit of dog-that-bites-its-tail kind of situation. Tom takes all the insecurities of an eleven-year-old girl and amplifies them to isolate her even more and enslave her.

A Ginny without the diary would have grown out of that situation organically and quite fast. She is funny, clever, and very good-looking. She just needed a moment to open herself up to this new world and let people get to know her. Instead, because of what happens it takes her a year and a half after the Chamber to get to that point, and due to very unfortunate timing, she will still have to maintain a degree of isolation from her classmates because only six months later Voldemort will come back, therefore the Order too and all the secrets that come with it.

Ginny is someone whose need for others was used to make her the victim of insane horrors and spent the rest of the series learning to not need anyone, turning that independence into her strength (the contrast between Ginny being on the ground of the Chamber and Ginny taking care of the girl on the ground during the Battle says it all).

It's not really surprising that Ginny spends two books (the fourth and fifth) actively avoiding becoming a constant in Harry's everyday life even if she has hundreds of opportunities to do so (in the third she couldn't speak in front of him). As we learned in CoS, Harry is very dangerous, he makes her vulnerabilities shine like no one else. However, contrary to the fourth book, in the fifth, as much as Ginny may try to stay away from Harry, she can't. He looks like a lost puppy for most of the year and what is she supposed to do, honestly? Not help him? I don't think she would be physically able to. After all, the fact that she has her confidence back has already taken away the stronger barrier there was between Ginny and Harry (she has also convinced herself she is totally over him).

By the end of the sixth book, Ginny has already made a lot of progress in making her peace with the fact that Harry brings up her vulnerabilities, as shown in probably the most masochist dialogue ever written: Ginny telling Harry she has never given up on him and basically implying she never will while he breaks up with her.

That said, once again, Ginny's progress gets mutilated by good old Tom and his bloody war.

Don't get me wrong, by the end of the series Ginny has completed her circular main arc that follows the same structure of the story just like Harry's. She has grown into who she was always supposed to be, she knows who she is and what she wants.

But after the books, starts Harry and Ginny's story.

And in between Ginny wanting to rely on Harry and actually fully doing it, there's some angst and a future husband who can read her like a book and has decided her lone wolf days have come to an end.

Sorry Weasley, now you have someone you can rely on for the rest of your days. I know, it must suck.

But again, as we've already seen, if there's a person who can make Ginny go back to relying on someone else that's our homeboy Harry, resident Lover Boy.

All of this is to say that not only loneliness was absolutely a central element of what happened with the diary but it's an essential piece of Ginny's entire story.

#maybe I should finish writing the summer after the war #hinny #harry potter #ginny weasley

[arceespinkgun]

One thing I really love about the UK Marvel continuity is how it handled Decepticon leadership. All of the leaders were so unique and well-defined characters! There are so many civil wars among the Decepticons that I actually lost count. I think they each show different aspects of Decepticon culture, too. In this post I wanted to showcase the leaders and discuss why I really enjoyed the way they were portrayed!

Megatron: used to be the equivalent of an Olympic athlete. Started the War by preying on political unrest caused by preexisting tensions between the city-states, an aging Autobot council who wouldn't listen to their one radical voice (Emirate Xaaron), and a lack of resources. He started the War with a plan to equip giant engines to Cybertron to pilot it around the universe to conquer other planets lol Megatron is a dictatorial strongman at heart, and his major trait seems to be his indomitable will. No matter who tries to brainwash him or how embarrassed he ought to be by his defeats and stupid mistakes, he keeps going shamelessly.

Shockwave: used to be the ruler of Tarn, and constantly tries to take leadership from Megatron, probably missing the control he had over his city-state. Has a brains vs. brawn dynamic with Megatron, but tends to get extremely frazzled when things don't go his way and don't follow his twisted, self-serving idea of what logic is. However, that doesn't mean he doesn't emote.

Starscream: used to be a figurehead dictator of Vos. Generally tries to backstab whoever's in power, which is probably informed by the fact that he wasn't #1 in his own city-state back before the War. Also, props to Starscream for killing more people than Unicron (the majority get repaired, but still)! Something I find interesting is that Megatron preyed on the war between Vos and Tarn, but usually Starscream and Shockwave work well together in present-day, which suggests the whole war thing was entirely about power and not personal. They're both also ultimately cowards out for themselves.

Soundwave frames Wild Rider when, of course, Soundwave had been the real traitor the whole time

Soundwave: this continuity has such a good version of Soundwave... unlike Starscream, whose treacherous actions are big and loud, Soundwave's treachery is quiet. He serves under nearly every leader and never faces the consequences of blackmailing and betraying any of them, until eventually he is left as the ultimate leader in at least one future timeline. He is such a snake!

Straxus: initially was the leader of the Decepticons while Megatron was on Earth. Despite only being leader for a short time, he leaves a lasting impression with his absolute brutality in the way he melts POWs down to make ingots, beats his own soldiers, and is obsessed with taking over Megatron's body. He also has lasting impacts on the story overall because the identity of Megatron becomes questionable due to Straxus's attempts to subjugate his mind with his own.

Ratbat: originally kinda like Straxus's Laserbeak, Ratbat takes over and becomes one of the most intelligent leaders! He used to be an auditor and his entire philosophy surrounds being as energy-efficient as possible. He even gives Shockwave a negative performance review LMAO Interestingly, he's positioned almost as more of an enemy to the Witwicky family than to the Autobots at times. He also likes to use his own enemies as test subjects and slaves. Eventually, though, his string of successes leads to him being too arrogant for his own good.

Scorponok: wow, I don't even know where to begin. Introduced as the archenemy of Fortress Maximus, he becomes a Headmaster commander by teaming up with the evil Nebulan politician, Zarak. Scorponok begins as a complete mess, with hilariously idiotic plans like using bubbles against his enemies or humiliating the Autobots by having his soldiers defeat them in wrestling matches... and on Earth, he and his soldiers live in a dump. Literally, they live in a dump. He also has more truces than battles with Optimus Prime as he comes to know him, never having seen him until Earth. But Scorponok's ineffectual villainy and eagerness to team up with the Autobots actually leads up to something, as it becomes clear that he actually wants what's best for all transformers but needed to be inspired by Optimus Prime's compassion and support to become confident enough to risk losing the Decepticons' respect and aim for peace. Scorponok (and Optimus) show the strength that lies in choosing to give up conflict and try for peace. In some ways, Scorponok is more like Optimus Prime than Optimus is in this continuity!

Thunderwing: really fascinating. At first he kinda comes across like a generic distillation of what a Decepticon leader is, with all the traits you'd expect of one, and he even takes a test to become one... not the norm given that it's usually backstabbing and civil war that decides who comes out on top. He also thinks he fails the test because he gets distracted by revenge, but then he passes because that proves he's a true Decepticon!!! It's Thunderwing's relationship with the Matrix that is especially interesting. He's obsessed with it, but it's the Matrix's own desire to have new experiences that's corrupting his mind and eventually possesses him. Thunderwing is actually honorable and it's his goodness that allows him to temporarily fight back against it. By current TF standards, Thunderwing would actually be a Prime, since he opened the Matrix, but the Matrix isn't benevolent here. It's more like a little kid that wants to learn by acting out, and Thunderwing is a casualty of that.

Decepticon leaders don't look like this anymore!

Megadeath: the reason Thunderwing is like That™️, and the reason five specific prominent Autobots are the way they are. I mention him because he only appears in a single story in one of the annuals, yet his actions were so unspeakably horrible (the Autobots he traumatized certainly thought so) that he's one of the most sadistic Decepticon leaders ever.

Galvatron: such a multi-faceted and cool villain, that I already made a whole post about him! Notable for his cunning, his fears, and the fact that he was made from at the very least both Megatron and Straxus.

Bludgeon: introduced as part of the Mayhem Attack Squad, which is the Decepticon equivalent of the Wreckers. Specifically, he's introduced hunting down former Mayhems for fraternizing with Wreckers! Bludgeon hates the possibility of peace and loves war, to a religious degree. He thinks he believes in honor, but to be honest, he really doesn't. He's also incredibly fake in that he will pretend to be all for peace just long enough for the Autobots to let their guards down. I'm impressed by how much I love to hate this character given how short Bludgeon's time on-panel was.

There are a few other minor ones that appear as well, so there are even more! I'd like to say that while it probably shouldn't be given that this was like... the first continuity ever, as a fan who became introduced to TF during the Aligned continuity, the way the Marvel UK stories approach Decepticon leadership is so refreshing.

One reason is that Megatron is not portrayed as special just by nature of being Megatron. Yes, he started the War and founded the Decepticons, but he's not given more respect from his troops or his enemies automatically, and he gets his shit rocked constantly. Shockwave's intro was to immediately beat him up and take over, and Megatron embarrasses himself constantly. That's not to say that Megatron isn't worthy of being a Decepticon leader, no—but it means he's often shown clawing his way back up and constantly battling legitimate threats to his position. As a fan, it made me respect him a lot more.

Another thing I appreciate is the way the Decepticons are humanized. There are a lot of blatantly evil ones, but there also many of them who have a sense of honor and goodness, and it's clear that both many Decepticons and Autobots feel stuck and don't even remember why the War started at this point. And even the Decepticons who lack compassion or honor have very understandable struggles, such as facing trauma and trying to overcome it.

Along with the above point is the way the story of Scorponok is handled. I love that Scorponok is a Decepticon leader who always secretly held values that align with Autobot values, but then he ended up stuck in this bloodthirsty culture and endless conflict where he felt like he couldn't do anything, and I love how this is slowly foreshadowed throughout the comic. His friendship with Optimus is also excellent. I really enjoyed how they didn't meet until Earth and slowly became friends as they continually teamed up against greater threats. I appreciate that the Decepticon leader who's best friends with Optimus isn't like... Megatron, who started the War. I feel like a lot of newer continuities make the War center on the falling-out of two friends, which I think is a ridiculous way to handle the conflict.

Speaking of Megatron and Optimus, I appreciate how this continuity just doesn't have a lot of the dynamics that are typically present regarding these Decepticons. Megatron and Optimus are definitely each other's oldest enemy, but their conflict is de-centered in the narrative and they never had a falling-out. Instead, they always disliked each other from before the War. It's actually Shockwave who becomes the nemesis of both Optimus and Megatron for many issues! A lot of Optimus's deepest trauma was inflicted by Shockwave. Also, Megatron and Starscream still have a conflict, but that conflict is rarely present. Starscream causes problems for everyone and is mainly linked to Shockwave for a long time. And as I said before, it's Optimus and Scorponok who become friends.

I think a lot of the approaches this continuity took with the Decepticons should be used in the future!

#transformers g1 #transformers marvel #Megatron #Shockwave #Starscream #Soundwave #Straxus #Ratbat #Scorponok #Thunderwing #Megadeath #Galvatron #Bludgeon #my analysis #maccadam #long post

[wooahaes]

under the sun [joshua]

pairing: non-idol!joshua x gn!reader

prompt: darl+ing inspired fic.

word count: 11.4k~

warnings: slightly suggestive at the very very end, but its left up to interpretation whether anything happens!! (its just two idiots in love making out for a minute). so, so much skinship and platonic-ish kisses between joshua and reader throughout. depictions of nightmares + mentions of vague illness and injuries within said nightmares. food mentions. more straight forward, flirty joshua throughout fic. mentions of joshua being mr gentle sexy.

daisy’s notes: men i am down bad for after writing this........ also sorry to anyone who asked to be tagged but wasn’t: several names didn’t pop up when i tried to @ them !! (plus tumblr for some reason hates when i try to have a taglist so if it DOES show that u were @-ed but didnt receive a notif, im so sorry!! ive had this issue for a while and i have no idea how to fix it...)

< day 3 || masterlist ||

summary: It all starts when you wake up in a field without a name or any memories to define yourself with. Thirteen men take you in as one of their own, and slowly you begin to wonder what is going on within this world… and between you and one of them.      

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Joshua already had a soft spot for you.

This, however, was normal in his eyes. Every time a new person came from maybe either Soonyoung or Wonwoo onward, Joshua found himself doting on people a little extra. When Jun came, it simply felt like they were a tiny group of people living together. But something about that number ticking over from four to five or five to six felt... More, in a way. Although he didn’t dote heavily on Soonyoung, or Wonwoo for that matter, his affections were obvious from day one. The amusement he found in Soonyoung’s jokes, the gentle way Joshua made sure to keep Wonwoo (and later Jihoon, Minghao, and occasionally Hansol when he wasn’t feeling the chattiest) acknowledged in conversations (never forcing them to speak, but making sure they felt regarded as a member of the group), his friendly competitions with the others... He found ways to make sure people felt involved. Jeonghan was better at listening and giving advice, Seungcheol’s job was to lead, and therefore Joshua kept people feeling loved. Whether that be with casual conversation or the occasional mischievous prank he pulled. With you, he expected more of the same: he would dote on you in the beginning, and then it would fade into that same love and care he provided everyone with. Truthfully, Joshua enjoyed caring for people. There was a reason he was called gentle sexy, after all (... even if it was semi self-imposed).

And at the end of your first week living with them, Joshua saw how stressed you were becoming for one reason or another. So he decided he’d get to the root of the problem sooner rather than later. Once he finished hanging laundry with you and the others, he offered up a little picnic lunch--just the two of you. He’d packed up the sandwiches someone else (Mingyu, he thought) had made, and sliced fruit for you. All that was left was for the two of you to find a nice spot to sit in. He carried his bag with food and water bottles inside of you, while you had been tasked with the very important job of carrying the blanket he’d found for you.

He’d suggested the spot the two of you eventually settled into: half underneath the shade of the tree, and half underneath the sunshine. He spread out the blanket for two of you, gazing up at the cloudy sky above for a moment. He looked at you after a moment, gently patting the spot next to him. Yet when you sat down, he didn’t notice the way he slightly shifted to be closer to you without much thought. It felt... natural in a strange way.

“Like my second day,” you mused aloud at one point as Joshua was pulling the securely wrapped food from his bag. He looked up with a hum, but realized what you meant a second later: the two of you had lazed together under the sky that day, too.

His fingers grazed against your own for a moment, acutely aware of how the side of your hand pressed against his own that day. “It wasn’t that long ago,” he gently teased, a warm chuckle escaping his throat. “But you already fit in with us.” Just like we knew you would, he wanted to say, but he held back. Would that be a little too bold to say...?

“I do?”

He smiled. “You do,” he said, his hand already finding a home with your own, your fingers already lacing together with his. “I wouldn’t lie. I think we all care about you a lot, even if it’s in different ways.”

He could see the way you bit back a thought. Absentmindedly, your thumb brushed over his.

“Even Jihoon and Minghao,” he told you. He noticed the way you raised your eyes, already caught. And oh how cute your expression was. Maybe he’d catch you in silly little moments like these again if he could see that wide-eyed look again. “They’re just taking their time. They were like this with Seungkwan and Chan, too.”

It didn’t take you long to piece together the missing name there. “What about Hansol?”

Joshua’s eyes seemed to light up a little as he smiled. “Jihoon liked him almost immediately,” he said, “but he’s the exception. Jihoon likes you enough, and so does Minghao. They just take a little longer to warm up to people.”

“What about Jun?”

“Jun’s looking out for you, too,” Joshua said. “He’s also a little quieter about it. But... you know that Chan likes you. So do Hansol and Seungkwan...” His thumb ran along the side of your hand. “And so do I.”

He could see a flustered smile cross your lips, and you turned your face away from him, looking to the sky instead. But you finally spoke a tiny, “Thank you,” a second later. He laughed a little, warm and vibrant, at how adorable you truly were.

“So... What else is inside that cute head?” He smiled at you, tilting his head as though it’d allow him to peer inside and see said thoughts. “Anything new?”

Your smile slowly dropped, and you let out a quiet sigh. “Nothing so far.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” he said, gently squeezing your hand. “It takes time. I think once you stop worrying about it so much, it’ll come to you.”

With another sigh, you turned back to face him again. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“It’s easy after a while,” he said, pulling his hand free from your own. He reached for the sandwiches he’d brought the two of you, offering one up. Your fingers grazed his again when you accepted it, and he turned his attention to unwrapping it slowly. “When you’ve been here as long as some of us have... You learn to accept each day for what it is.” He went quiet, staring down at his meal. 

And you watched as proud, bright, warm Joshua turned into someone... quieter. Like the volume had been slowly turned down, number by number, until his melody could barely be heard while still being there. He said nothing for a moment, just staring blankly, brows drawing together as he gathered his thoughts.

“Sometimes... I pray,” he finally said. “And I think it helps. I grew up Catholic,” he looked back up at you, “That much I remember. I remember singing in church....” He went quiet again for a moment, idly pulling at a piece of the bread. “Singing’s really important to me, actually. Sometimes I don’t know why, but it is.”

You weren’t sure what to say to someone so pensive, so quiet compared to the version you knew most days. So you opted for what you knew was true: “You’re good at it.”

A smile crossed his face, even if it didn’t fully seem to be him again. “You’re sweet,” he said at first, eyes meeting yours after a second. This time, his smile actually met his eyes. “Thank you. But you should hear Seungkwan. And Seokmin, too,” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich, as if to distract himself from whatever thoughts had washed over him before. “Jeonghan and Jihoon are talented, too,” he said after swallowing his bite, “but you really, really need to hear how Seungkwan and Seokmin sound--especially if they sing together.”

That seemed to bring back the Joshua you were most familiar with. Not that you didn’t like this quieter, more thoughtful version of him: you thought that maybe, in time, you would learn how to speak to him in moments like that. It was strange, though... He always seemed so carefree so far, most days enjoying the freedom that this life could give him. It almost felt as though he was made for it. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t think Joshua could have those quieter moments: you were sure everyone there had them--even Soonyoung, who seemed to carry the most laughter with him, or Mingyu, who’s silly, goofy nature spoke for itself most days. Yet with Joshua... It felt as though you weren’t prepared to see that side of him peek out so soon.

It was cute, though, to see the way he happily hyped up the others and their talents. Soonyoung loved to dance--as did Jun, Minghao, and Chan, and Joshua was happy to sing the praises of everyone there. He’d let you see too much of himself, too soon. Maybe when the two of you were closer (and, truly, he hoped you would be), he would confide in you the way he confided in Jeonghan. He hoped you would feel the same safety in confiding in him, too: he might not be as warm as Jeonghan seemed to be, but he wanted to give you a warm place to land if you needed it, arms wide open and ready to embrace you when you needed it.

That night, he woke up from a far too vivid dream. The memory seemed to fade away soon, slipping from his grasp as he sat forward, a hand running through his hair. He’d been somewhere... crowded and loud, making his way through throngs of people. He remembered being approached, yet the face seemed... blurry and distant. Like he should remember it, but something in his mind refused to let him make out specific features.

“Joshua?” Jeonghan quietly mumbled from beside him, sleep laced into his voice. He stifled a yawn, reaching out to lay a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

He nodded, slowly settling back into bed as he turned onto his side. “Just had a weird dream,” he said. “Nothing bad. Don’t worry.”

Jeonghan accepted the answer easily enough, eyelids drooping shut as he snuggled back into the space next to him. He’d talk to him about it in the morning--no need to wake Jeonghan up over something so silly. He slipped back into slumber as easily as he had pulled his blanket back over him, and was left with nothing else he could remember that next morning. He made his way to breakfast with the others, stopping long enough to glance at himself in a mirror. He looked the same, so why did he feel so... Different?

He’d waved at you on his way in, and noticed your shy smile as you waved back before returning to your conversation with Seokmin. Joshua went to get a glass, his focus purely on getting a glass of water. Maybe that’d help settle him, centering him on something other than what he dreamed about last night. Seungcheol had stopped beside him, though, his own glass in hand.

“Everything okay?” He asked in a quiet voice. “I felt you jolt last night.”

“You did?” Joshua raised his eyes to meet Seungcheol’s. “Just had a weird dream. It felt... real.”

Seungcheol slowly nodded, taking in each word with care. “Like a memory?”

“I think so.” Joshua paused. Yet... The other memories never felt so vivid. Not like this. They felt real in the same sense, but what made this one feel so intense...?

He saw you again, giggling at something Seokmin had said, and he could see the way he pressed kisses into your cheek with a smile.

Well. There might be his why sitting right there. All that was left was to chase after it.

“Today, I’m going to teach you something very important.”

Joshua’s hand was holding yours as he walked alongside the river with you, more-so to guide you than his casual form of skinship. He’d invited you along with him for a small walk through nature--something he enjoyed doing on his own sometimes, but today wasn’t just leisure. He’d left you waiting in anticipation after he finally decided to break the news to you as to why he’d suddenly invited you out again barely a few days after your picnic.

“The art,” he said, with a purposeful pause to build suspense, “of living one day at a time.” He let go of your hand after a moment, slowing to a stop as he turned to you. “I think you could use it.”

He was slightly teasing you, and you could tell from the way he was smiling at you. Yet you agreed easily enough to ‘take these lessons,’ since he’d casually offered you a ‘once-in-a-lifetime deal’ when he invited you out earlier. If there was anything Joshua was good at, it was keeping you entertained. Whether that be through playing guitar or singing, or building up to moments like these... You definitely found him charming in plenty of ways.

“It’s hard,” he said, “but I learned a while back that it’s better to accept each day as they come. It helped me relax, at least--and it helped a few of the others, so I think I’m an expert now.”

Charming and cheeky. A deadly combination, in your humble opinion, but you liked Joshua’s company too much. If he would be the death of you, then c’est la vie... At least Chan would hopefully avenge you, maybe with Seungkwan and Hansol at his side.

(Not that you had any worries with Joshua: he was strong and safe in the same way the others were. The only fear you truly ever could have was of impending heartbreak, if you let yourself fall for his charms.)

Joshua drifted away from you, plucking a few flowers from the ground before he turned back to you. “There’s a lot of beauty in nature. I think I knew it before, but living here really makes you appreciate it a lot more.” He made his way over, carefully placing the flower behind your ear.

It was at this point that you realized he’d placed the other behind his own, and he smiled at the way the two of you matched now: little yellow flowers almost making it seem like the two of you were a pair. He turned, starting off talking about his own walks he goes on sometimes, enjoying the scenery even though he’s seen it an endless amount of times by now, and you followed behind him like a duckling.

Eventually, he found a spot to sit. He nodded toward the spot next to him, the corners of his lips slightly upturned as he watched you sink down into the spot next to him.

“What do you see?”

You raised a brow at him. What?

“Humor me,” he said. “Just tell me what you can see.”

So with a long exhale, you looked around, and began to list off things. The river ahead of you, stretching toward the lake at the end of this path. The trees that surrounded both of you, having reached the more wooded area. If you looked close enough, you could see fish underneath the water, scales shimmering in the sunlight that peeked through the trees. Tiny flowers dotting amongst the grass: some pink, some white... and others yellow, like the ones you and Joshua still had behind your ears.

Your eyes trailed him up. “I see you, too,” you said after a moment.

It earned a smile from him. “Well,” he said, “I see you as well. Now tell me what you can hear.”

Part of you wanted to roll your eyes. It felt like the kind of lesson you might have as a child learning about their senses for the first time, but you began to list off things nevertheless. The sound of water rushing past (and, if you listened closer, you could hear a fish leap and land in the water again), the sound of birds fluttering through the trees. Joshua’s breathing. The wind as it rustled leaves. Your own quiet breathing, too. Part of you wondered if you could hear the others, had you been close enough to home: the sound of Jun’s loud laughter, or Seungkwan ranting at something Soonyoung joked about...

And when he prompted you next, you continued on: you could smell the flowers, light and sweet on the breeze. Feel the way that the grass was poking into your skin, the feeling of the flower, weightless, behind your ear. The warm breeze as it kissed your skin. The warm feeling of his hand brushing against yours.

“That’s it,” he said in a low voice. “The art of living a day at a time.” He was smiling again, eyes twinkling. “Living in the present moment and accepting it as that. The book Wonwoo brought back called it mindfulness, but I prefer my name for it.”

You couldn’t help but smile back at him. Even if it was a mouthful... You thought you preferred his name for it, too.

The next day, you and Joshua were tasked with cooking dinner. Conversation always came easy with Joshua: even if you had moments of being unsure what to say, he could easily fill the air and keep things flowing as the two of you worked. He always seemed to use chores as a way of checking in with you, too, just to make sure you were adjusting well. He noticed how close you’d become with Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan--although he’d noticed that a few others had a soft spot for you (namely Mingyu... and Seungcheol, but for the sake of his friendship, he’d leave his name out of it for now).

“Joshua?” You looked up from the veggies you’d been chopping for him, and he merely hummed in acknowledgement. “So... What started this whole ‘art of living one day at a time’ thing?”

He hummed to himself for a moment, mulling over the exact moment that led to it. He’d come up with the silly little name for it after he started practicing mindfulness, sure, but... “Sometimes,” he started, “I’ll get stuck in my own thoughts. It was maybe a few weeks before Jun showed up, but Cheol and Jeonghan took me out for a picnic. And--I dunno. We just sat together, just kinda observing how peaceful everything is.”

“So you had a picnic with your friends, and you started to appreciate... everything?” 

Joshua nodded, not looking up from his work. “Yep. It helped.”

“Would you do that with me?”

He paused, turning to see that you’d grown more flustered at asking your question aloud. Before you could apologize and try to backtrack, he merely nodded, “Sure. I’d gladly steal you away for a picnic if you don’t mention it to anyone else.” He went back to stirring the pot, the scent of spices heavy in the air. “I like having alone time with you.”

His heart stirred at his own words, aware of what he meant: I like being the object of your attention.

Right as he went to apologize for being so forward, you spoke up, “Then you can’t tell anyone, either.“

Joshua’s eyes were shimmering as he turned to you again, sharing a smile between the two of you as he realized that maybe things weren’t so one-sided for him. “Then... We can call it a date. If you want.”

“And if I do?”

Oh. Oh. This felt... fast. “Then you can pick our spot.”

Two days later, Joshua let you take the lead, a basket and blanket in his hands as you lead the way outside. The two of you had agreed to a little picnic lunch together, to reduce any risk of someone trying to tag along with you. Everyone would be scattered now, doing their own things as Joshua let you take the lead. He could hear the sound of Seungkwan and Chan bickering in the attic as he climbed up and into the church, and the tell-tale sound of Hansol’s warm laugh at an argument that was anything but serious. The two of you had passed Mingyu and Wonwoo on your way out, and he’d seen Seokmin go searching for Jihoon with Minghao tailing alongside him. Some of the others must still be out, finishing up their chores for the day. Joshua saw Jun on the way out, making his way back inside with an empty basket from doing laundry in his arms, and merely gave him a small wave.

You guided him out and to the same shady spot he sat with you on your second day. Together, you spread the blanket out before sitting together, chatting idly for a while..

“Joshua?” You suddenly said. “Tell me what you can see.”

His eyes crinkled a little with delight. Oh, how cute of you. He began to list things in a calm, even tone: the trees that grow thicker down the path to the lake, the river that ran near the two of you (and the shimmering of scales that are easier to see now, with the sunlight hitting them), the pebbles that were pressed into the dirt. He could hear the sound of your breathing, leaves rustling, the babbling brook... And he could feel the plush fabric underneath the two of you, the warm breeze as it kissed his skin in a way he wished would be replaced by something (someone, his mind corrected) else...

And even though the two of you had moved on from that sense, he smiled as he looked at you: “And I see you.”

Over two weeks of you being there, and Joshua felt as though he’d fallen for you too quickly. Too easily. Maybe in another life, this would have taken far longer. He would have courted you the right way, with dinner dates and long walks where he had to build up the courage to ask if he could hold your hand (out of respect for you rather than insecurity for himself: not all people enjoyed the kind of casual skinship that Joshua often saw Seungkwan partake in with...well... everyone). Maybe he should have asked you on the walk back how you felt, exactly...Yet his confidence had dwindled slightly. He felt something for you, yes, but how was he to be sure that it was love?

So he’d give himself a little longer instead. Enough time to know for sure that the enamored feelings he was almost certain of were what he thought they were. Every time a new person came, there was always this honeymoon period of adoration for them. For Joshua, it was the warmth of a need to welcome and care for a new person, and he knew himself well: it’d only last a week or two, three at the most, before it became something comfortable in his chest rather than an ever present flutter that punctuated his every action. Even if his gaze would drift down to your lips (a sign, in his eyes, that this was not the normal love he felt for new people)... He needed time to be sure.

Barely into your third week of living with them, Joshua woke up to the sound of you panicking.

He was far from the first person awake, though. You had curled up across the room, happy to be in Seokmin’s warm embrace since he was feeling particularly cuddly tonight, and you’d startled several of the others closer to you. He jerked up, running a hand through his hair to comb it back to his face as he watched you panic. The others had already taken to comforting you to no success. Seokmin kept an arm around you, trying to calm you down while your words were slammed together in this endless dribble, like water from a faucet coming out all in one heavy blast. Chan had reached out, trying to take your hand and wipe your tears as you kept trying to talk about the dream you’d had. Seungkwan spoke over you plenty, alongside Minghao, as they all tried to get you to slow down and breathe. You could talk afterward, yet you didn’t seem to listen. All Joshua could tell was that you had fought with Minghao in this dream, and then you ran away and ended up hurt, terrified no one was coming for you.

He kicked off the blanket, pulling himself free from the space between Seungcheol and Jeonghan with ease. Several others had woken up at this point, too, and he could hear Seungcheol mumbling something to Jeonghan as he was roused, too. Joshua, on the other hand, was more focused on getting over to you, falling to his knees in front of you.

“Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay. It’s okay,” he reached for your hands, and, through your tear-filled gaze, your eyes met his own. “I’m here--”

All within seconds, you’d begun to move in for comfort, and he easily pulled you into his chest. Soon enough, he had sunk down to where he was sitting, letting you sob into his shirt as he stroked your back. His head leaned against your own, eyes fluttering shut as he focused on comforting you.

“It’s okay,” he said again in that low, soothing voice, “I’m right here. Just breathe for me, darling, okay?”

As if the words finally broke through to you, this time carrying some meaning to them, you gave him a shaky nod before squeezing your eyes shut tight. Your breathing staggered, and Joshua began to take in slow, deep breaths with you. Just to make sure you didn’t feel like you were alone now. He raised his head as you kept breathing, and he looked around at the sea of concerned faces that surrounded him now. Some of them were still half asleep (Mingyu and Hansol, Joshua noticed, and maybe Soonyoung, too), but they’d gathered around. They were a community, after all. This was far from the first time someone had a bad enough dream to evoke such a strong reaction (Joshua remembered plenty of incidents right offhand), and it created this understood feeling between them all: we check on each other, and we go from there. If you didn’t want to talk, they wouldn’t force you to.

You had realized that you disturbed everyone soon enough, and already began to apologize over and over, trying to make up a good enough reason to justify getting so upset over a bad dream. Joshua gently shushed you instead.

“It’s okay,” he repeated again. “You just had a bad dream. It happens to all of us.”

Which was enough to prompt Chan into bringing up how he woke up with a scream his first week there. He couldn’t remember what the dream was anymore, but it was bad enough that the others had to calm him down, too. He thought it was something to do with his life before, but Joshua remembered what it was. Chan had dreamed that he’d been kicked out of the group because he failed them in some way. Seokmin reached over, taking your hand in his, gently running his thumb across your knuckles as he shared his own story: he fought with Mingyu early into the latter’s first days with the group, and had a bad dream a while after of the fight getting worse.

They shared their pain with you without reluctance. They were human, too, after all: they had bad dreams and bad mornings, and sometimes they’d wake up crying like this too. Joshua just cradled you to his chest the entire time, though, tracing slow circles onto your back as you listened. Despite the stories being shared, you didn’t share your own now that you were calm enough that you could get it across better. No one pushed you to, though, past Wonwoo’s gentle question of whether you wanted to talk about it more. You had shook your head, curling up closer to Joshua before saying that you felt better now, thanks to all of them. They’d all started to go back to bed, Seungkwan telling you to wake him up if you needed to talk; he would happily listen if you needed him (or the two of you could go on a walk, too, if that’d help).

Joshua gently nudged you to get your attention. “What do you want now?” He asked softly. “You wanna go back to bed? I can get you some water if you want.”

You shook your head. “Can... Can I sleep with you, actually? You holding me helps...”

The surprise of your request made him grow a little flustered. He’d always be open to cuddling with you, but for you to say something like that...

He nodded, though, and brought you back over to where he’d been sleeping. Seungcheol wordlessly shifted over to make room for you, already grabbing extra pillows and blankets to help make you as comfortable as possible. Soon enough, you were curled up in Joshua’s arms again.

Over your head, Joshua had met Jeonghan’s gaze. His eyes flickered down to you for just a moment, and Joshua...

Well. He knew what Jeonghan was trying to ask. He merely nodded, and he watched as his friend nodded in return, understanding. A moment later, he’d seen the way you shivered slightly, and Jeonghan slid a little closer to ensure that you would be warm between the two of them.

Joshua loved you. Plain and simple. And now he was sure that both Jeonghan and Seungcheol knew (as well as every other person in that room). Everyone but you, hopefully. If he was going to tell you soon (and he would, he knew he would if he thought he had a chance), he wanted to do it right. But only when you were ready for that kind of relationship with him.

(And maybe he should call it overconfidence, but... Joshua had a pretty strong feeling that you loved him back.)

As much as Joshua didn’t want to leave you the next morning, it was Mingyu who gently nudged him awake, asking in a low voice if he’d come help with breakfast. He agreed, watching you sleep for a moment longer after Mingyu left him, and he slowly untangled himself from him. When you began to stir away, he gently shushed you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he told you to go back to sleep for a little longer. You’d ended up turning over, reaching over for Seungcheol, who barely roused before he cuddled a little closer to give you further comfort. Joshua pulled himself from his blankets, watching the wordless way that Jeonghan filled the space he was leaving, eyes meeting his for a second in a silent go on, I’ve got them.

Mingyu was already working on breakfast when Joshua came in, his conversation with Seokmin coming to a halt. The two greeted him casually enough, and Joshua was put to work soon enough.

“Josh?” Seokmin said after a few minutes, earning a glance from him. “You and Mouse...”

Joshua said nothing at first, working on. Oh. It must be obvious now, then. Is this something he’ll have to address with everyone? “We’re only friends.”

“We know,” Mingyu said. “That’s not what we’re asking.”

You don’t need me to say it out loud, Joshua wanted to say. Because they knew: everyone had to, right? Last night was just... proof that the initial affection he held for you within your first days never went away. That it merely blossomed into something stronger. Barely a few weeks into you living with them, and you’d somehow captured his heart so easily. He didn’t want to call it all-out love, because love took longer to sow. Infatuation fit better. He, for the lack of a better word between “infatuation” and “love,” liked you.. a lot.

He waited until everyone, save for you, had filed in for breakfast. They were quiet, a few whispers about you flying around the table, and Joshua... Well. Joshua wasn’t an idiot: he saw the concerned glances people kept sending him. The way no one addressed him, but kept clearly talking about him.

And then he finally spoke up, “Don’t tell them.”

No one spoke. They merely exchanged looks, all knowing at this point.

“Not now,” Joshua said. “I’ll tell them when they’re ready.  I’m not putting that burden on them this soon.”

It was still tense, but Seungkwan was the one who finally looked up from his breakfast. “Joshua... I think they like you, too.”

He wanted to say something. Anything. His face grew warmer at someone actually speaking the thought aloud. He thought you did, too: but he didn’t want to define your feelings in his mind. It would set expectations on you that he wasn’t comfortable setting: if you liked him back, then he’d want to hear you say it out loud. Not now, of course, but when you were feeling better. He knew the effects of a shitty dream all too well.

Chan barely touched his food before he excused himself, saying something about taking a walk before he’d start on his share of the chores. Joshua saw the concerned look Hansol and Seungkwan shared, and the gentle nod toward where Chan had left that Seungcheol gave them: go on. The two excused themselves as well, getting up and following after him quickly.

Joshua wasn’t an idiot. He knew he wasn’t the only person who felt more for you. He knew Chan did. He thought Cheol did, too, but Joshua knew that neither would stand in your way of pursuing who you loved. Whether it be them or someone else, they would accept it and learn how to move past their feelings. Joshua would do the same, after all. He loved you and your happiness. And if you would be happier with someone else.. Then Joshua would support you wholeheartedly while he took the time to heal.

That’s what love was supposed to be, wasn’t it?

Something weighed in the pit of your stomach for most of that day. Everyone had been concerned at breakfast that morning (which, to be fair, hadn’t surprised you in the slightest), and you had waved them off. You weren’t ready to talk about your dream quite yet, not until you tried to focus on the center of it all. By some stroke of luck, you’d found Minghao painting by himself--sitting at a bare space of wall that’d only been painted green in preparation. He’d been painting a circle of blue, merely glancing up as you came closer before greeting you casually enough.

You slowly sank down next to him when he invited you to. “Um... Minghao?”

He heard the caution in your voice, and it made him lower his brush, turning to you. “Is something wrong?”

“Did... Did I do something?” You said slowly. “I mean. I don’t think I did, but--I had a dream that you were mad at me, and--and I just started overthinking and--”

“I’m not mad at you,” he said, plain and simple. For a moment, his gaze flickered past you, but before you could turn to see what he was looking at, he spoke up again. “If I was, you’d know. We’d talk about it eventually.”

Relief hit you all at once, and you let out a sigh. “Good...” You’d toyed with your sleeve, still feeling a slight nervous edge as you sat there with him. “I just... I had this dream where everyone seemed upset. But you--”

His gaze flickered up again, and then back to your face before he finally looked past you one final time. “Stop standing around and either sit with us or go.”

You turned, and Joshua had been lingering nearby. “Oh. Shua...”

“I can go--”

“No,” you said, “it’s okay. You can stay if you want. I don’t mind talking about it now.”

Joshua slowly nodded, making his way over before he sank down next to the two of you. He watched you for a moment, waiting to see if you would continue.

And soon enough, you did. “Anyway... I don’t know why everyone was upset, but you were the only one who spoke up and said whatever happened was my fault.”

Minghao furrowed his brow, looking up. “But you don’t know what happened?” When you shook your head, he continued. “I can’t say I wouldn’t be mad if something bad happened--”

“I ran away,” you said. “I don’t know why, but I just decided I’d leave for good since you all were better off before I came here.”

Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. He merely shared a concerned glance with Minghao, who, too, seemed to be at a loss for words.

“We love you,” was what Minghao said a second later, voice softer than before. “If something bad happened, we wouldn’t kick you out.”

“He’s right,” Joshua said. “We wouldn’t--”

“You didn’t,” you said. “I decided to just... Remove myself from the equation.”

That... was different, to be fair. But what could cause them all to be so upset that you felt that was the only option? To run away and live on your own instead? They were a community: no one should have to live a life of complete isolation. Seungcheol was always adamant about that after his own time alone.

“I know I wasn’t warm to you when you first came here,” Minghao said after a moment, “but I don’t want you to leave. You’re one of us now.”

With a slow nod, you let his words sink in. Us. Although you knew they’d all embraced you with open arms, letting you into this community, this family they had so lovingly come together to form... It still meant a lot to hear that you were a part of it. That they loved you.

Minghao looked back at the scene he’d been working on, pressing his lips together for a moment. “Do you have any ideas on what I should paint? I wanted to paint a pond, but...”

Joshua looked to you. “Mouse?”

“How about... ducks?” You suggested casually enough. “A little family of ducks.”

Minghao nodded after a moment, taking your suggestion into account before he began to wash his brush. “A family of ducks it is, then.”

You stood up, thanking Minghao for the talk as you went to leave him and Joshua behind. Yet Joshua rose quickly, following after you and stopping you once you were far enough to not be overheard by Minghao.

“Did you have any more bad dreams?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t. Thank you for being there, though. It felt like cuddling with you was all I needed.”

He chuckled. “Well,” he said, “all you have to do is wake me up and I’ll be there from now.“ He took your hands in his, swinging them slightly. “I always have room for you, alright?”

Your nose had crinkled when you smiled, giggling. “I’ll keep that in mind.” You slowly let go, taking a drifting step back. “Thank you, Joshua. I’ll keep it in mind.”

It was strange. Sure enough, you woke up that next night, sobbing again. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, but Chan had woken up Joshua for you when you asked him to. Instead of merely trying to soothe you back to sleep then and there, he glanced around before he gently pulled you to your feet, guiding you out of the room to make both of you a warm cup of tea. He sat next to you, watching the slow sips you’d take, cheeks still wet with tears. Despite the urge to go ahead and ask, to figure out what upset you this time, he let you have your space. The tea seemed to calm your nerves, and he merely waited for you to make the next move: if you wanted to go back to bed, he’d offer the spot next to you again. Or you could go back to Chan, who Joshua was sure was still lying awake, waiting to know if you were fine. When you finally lifted your head, meeting his gaze, you asked to talk about it.

This time, your nightmare was about Wonwoo. He’d fallen sick--really, really sick--in your nightmare. You swore you could still feel his feverish skin from when you were checking his temperature. It was almost as if he was going to die, and the thought of that had been enough to throw you out of your dreams and back into the reality you were living in. Wonwoo was okay: that was something you could see when you first woke up. Chan had stirred, asking what was wrong, and you merely asked him to get Joshua.

“If it helps... No one’s ever been that sick before,” Joshua said, his hand on top of yours. His thumb grazed the back of your hand. “And we know how to take care of each other. I’m sure Wonwoo would have been okay.”

Something about his presence seemed to calm you easier than the others did. He sat with you a little longer until your cups of tea were empty, and soon enough he’d made a space for you once more, letting you curl up in his arms again.

The same happened the next night: Mingyu had burned his hand in that dream. The next, you were lost in the forest with an injured ankle and you were scared no one would come for you. In another, your shoulder had been injured horribly... And all Joshua could do was be there for you each night. Sometimes he’d make you tea, or the two of you would go on a short walk to clear your head, but it always ended up the same: with you in Joshua’s arms, feeling safer than you had been before. He would wake up the next morning, feeling the weight of your body against his, sleeping peacefully.

(You finally gave up after that night and started sleeping next to him permanently until you worked out whatever was causing these nightmares. Not that he was complaining: he liked having you close to him.)

Seungcheol had been watching you one night after dinner, while the group was all still together, biting his bottom lip. Joshua wondered if he thought he could figure you out had he stared intensely enough, studying your entirety as much as he could from his place across the room. Yet his calling of “Mouse,” had been enough to catch your attention, followed by, “are your dreams still bothering you?”

You looked up from the puzzle you were working on with Minghao and Seokmin, a little more flustered at the outright question. “Not really...”

“Aren’t dreams a subconscious thing?” Hansol said from his spot on the couch, curled up with Jihoon next to him. “Maybe you’re just worried about something.”

“I’m not,” you said, a little too quickly in Joshua’s opinion. “I just had a string of bad dreams. It’s nothing serious.”

“Are you sure?” Seokmin frowned. “You can talk to us--”

“I’m fine,” you said, standing up. “I’m gonna go wash up for bed.”

They let you go without a fight. No need to push you now when you were already starting to get upset. Joshua merely said he’d go try to talk to you, just to make sure you were fine--even if you weren’t ready to talk. He’d found you brushing your teeth, and you’d pouted a little at the sight of him in the entryway.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said after spitting into the sink. “Maybe tomorrow, Shua.”

He slowly drifted closer to you. “That’s okay,” he said, slowly stopping next to you. “Do you know what’s bothering you, though?”

Reluctantly, you nodded after a moment. “I think I do. But... I don’t wanna think deeply about it before bed.”

He could understand that. “As long as you aren’t bottling it up,” he said. “We love you a lot.” He reached out to brush a stray hair back into place, and his fingers lingered at your temple for a moment before he drew his hand back. “I just want you to know that.”

“I love you guys, too,” you met his gaze. “Really, Joshua. I’m okay for tonight.” You leaned in, pressing a tiny kiss against his cheek. “Just tired from doing laundry with Soonyoung and Seungkwan earlier.”

He chuckled airily, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I understand. Just don’t be afraid to tell us things, alright?”

“I won’t.” You promised. “Goodnight, Joshua.”

With you heading to bed early, Joshua... knew what he needed to do. The group was starting to disperse when he returned, and he went ahead to stop Chan before he could go with the others.

“I was thinking about going for a walk,” he said. “Do you want to join  me?”

Chan shook his head. “I’m good, Shua. Thank you--”

“Chan,” he said, a little more serious this time. “I think you should.”

Chan looked toward the others, and let out a sigh, before nodding. He understood what this was, and the two of them grabbed their shoes and began to make their way outside. Once the church doors were securely closed behind them, Joshua let out a sigh and looked up to the stars overheard, twinkling in the clear, dark sky... and then he nodded out toward the river. He and Chan walked in silence at first, making their way down the hill with slow, heavy steps, neither sure how to begin this conversation.

“I really like them,” Joshua said outright. “And I know other people do, too. In the same way, I mean.”

Chan didn’t look at him at first. “I know. I was there when you asked us not to tell them how you feel.”

“I just want to clear the air,” Joshua said, “because I know you love them, too.”

Chan met his gaze, and Joshua could see something (confidence, perhaps) waver in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it, looking away. “We’re all adults here,” he said. “I’m not going to treat either of you differently.”

“I know that,” Joshua said. “I trust you. But I don’t want any bad blood between us... and I don’t want to hurt your friendship with Mouse, either.”

With a heavy sigh, Chan shut his eyes for a moment, slowing to a stop. “As long as they’re happy, then I’m happy. I love them, Joshua, and I want them to be happy.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away again to kick at a pebble along the riverside. “I’d be happy no matter who they love. It’s not like they can date all of us.”

“Can’t they?” Joshua said, only slightly teasing. “You know how we are with each other. I think if we all wanted that, we’d work it out.”

Chan’s face grew bright red, even in the low light. “Don’t say things like that!” He said, pouting, “I--I don’t want to think about it when they only like you.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I mean it, though. We’re all more than just a group of people living together, though. Who knows,” he shrugged, “maybe in another life, we’d all be something together.”

“Maybe.” Chan sounded wistful as he stared off into the distance. “But they love you.”

But they love me, Joshua repeated mentally, turning the phrase over in his mind over and over. You loved him... “I think they do--”

“I know they do.” Chan said. “It’s kind of obvious now.” He pulled his hands from his pockets, looking back to the church. The two began their return up the hill, faster this time to get back inside now that they’ve cleared the air. “Are you going to talk to Cheol, too?” He paused, “I mean... It’s obvious. Isn’t it?”

Joshua let out a warm chuckle as he pulled open the doors. It was a bit obvious that Seungcheol felt... a lot for you. “It is. I’m not sure I’ll talk to him, though.”

“Why?”

“You admitted to your feelings,” Joshua said, following Chan inside as he turned to secure the door. “Cheol is the kind of person who’d rather deny them either until his feelings are gone or until the world ends if it meant they’d be happy. He’s just going to give them up--”

“And I will.” Seungcheol stood up from his chair, making his way over. “Are you two really talking about me?” He chuckled a little at the startled expression on Chan’s face. “It’s fine, Chan. Hansol mentioned the two of you left, and I had an idea why.”

“So you decided to just wait in the dark to scare us?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I thought it’d be funny. And it was,” he nodded toward Chan, “very funny to see his face--”

“But that’s not fair!” Chan suddenly cut in. “Cheol... It’s not fair that you have to give up your feelings.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

Chan stammered for a moment, “I--But--It’s not--” And then stopped, collecting himself. “It is, but... You give up a lot for us already.”

“They don’t love me,” Seungcheol said, plain and simple. A fact that he had long since accepted. “They love Joshua. We’re both giving up our feelings because we care about them and want to see them happy.”

Joshua felt his heart sink a little. While Joshua would have done the same for you... It felt awful to hear it said aloud, especially from someone who felt so much for you. “Cheol--”

“It’s silly,” he said. “How hard I fell and how fast it happened... But they love you, Joshua. And I know you love them, too.”

Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. “Cheol, I’m--”

“Take care of them.” Seungcheol tucked his hands into his pockets. “I know they’ll do the same.” He turned, musing aloud, “You know who to see about signing up to perform on their day...”

So Joshua nodded, already knowing what he needed to do. Chan walked ahead, following after Seungcheol. He needed to tell you soon, but... Surely, you could wait a little longer, couldn’t you? Just long enough for him to say it the way he felt he needed to. He made his way down, through the long passage until he came into the main room... Where Jihoon had been curled up, reading a book on the couch, humming to himself as he drummed his fingers against the edge. He wasn’t tired yet, but Joshua knew he wouldn’t go to his guitar until he couldn’t hold back anymore. He called out to Jihoon, already bringing up the song they’d been working on with Jeonghan and how he was going to try and finish it. He’d need help with getting it right, but...

Joshua knew how to make his feelings for you clear. Even if you couldn’t answer him in the moment, he’d sing it proudly, just so you knew where his heart fell.

Sometimes, all you had to do to find Joshua was follow the sound of a guitar being played. It always would lead you either to him or to Jihoon (or, rarely, Hansol), and once you came close enough, you’d be able to hear the soft way he mumbled his way through lyrics as he tried to figure them out. You peered around the entryway to the room he was in, watching the way he quietly worked on. He’d yet to notice you, and you watched the way his fingers moved to make each chord. Something about the way the sunlight flooded into the room and illuminated him made it feel as though you were looking in on a masterpiece. If only you could paint it--committing it to memory didn’t feel like it was enough to capture his beauty. Those soft brown locks fell into his face, eyes half-lidded as the lyrics he were working through (Should I talk to you or not? / I thought for a while...) barely audible. Was this, you wondered, what Eurydice felt when she looked upon Orpheus? Or how the stones felt when he traveled to bring her back, parting the way with ease, so moved by his song? Even if you couldn’t hear every word he sang, there was something so genuinely beautiful about how he seemed to lose himself in his music. It was similar to the way Jihoon did, too, as well as Hansol: they loved it so deeply, it was as though they were meant to sing in some way. Like music was one of their greatest loves, and it’d be cruel to abandon it completely.

Joshua looked up soon enough, though, and the music stopped as those pretty eyes softened when they saw you. “Hello, darling,” he called out, thoroughly amused that he had caught you observing him. It was just as love-filled as when he called you that during your second day there, too. “You can come in, if you want.”

As if bewitched to move from your place, you drifted across the room toward him, heart guiding you more than anything. Joshua always seemed to have room for you, no matter where he was: there was space by his side at dinner, at bedtime, or in conversations... and even now, when it was the two of you alone, he was happy to bring you in.

“Do you know how to play?” He asked, turning his attention to tuning his guitar--one of the chords must have been slightly off, since he’d kept trying to tune and retune it as he worked.

You shake your head. “Hansol offered to teach me once, actually,” you watched as he worked on, humming in acknowledgement.

“And?”

“I turned him down.”

Joshua lifted his head, this pretty, amused glimmer in his eyes. “You don’t want to spend time with Hansol?”

With a giggle, you gently bumped your shoulder into his. “Of course I do. I’d just... rather learn from someone else.”

He merely chuckled. “I see.”

Wordlessly, as he finally finished tuning the guitar, Joshua moved in closer to you so that he could reach around you. He brought in your hand to lay on the strings, the weight of it mostly on him still. His fingers are rough as they guide yours into place, and it made you wonder how long he’d been playing guitar.

“This is how you do Em...” His breath hit the back of your ear, and he paused to make sure you were pressing down the strings firmly enough. Then he strummed, and you could feel the vibrations through those strings. “Hear that?” He said, and when you looked at his face again, you could see this proud glimmer in his eyes. “And if you move your fingers to these chords,” he was already moving on, “you can get C...”

Joshua gently instructed you as he could. Em to C to G to D, always guiding your fingers and helping you keep them in place, and punctuating each with a strum to let you hear the difference.

“You’ll get better with time,” he said, “we’ll work on it.”

“So that means there’s a next time?”

He shifted away from you, returning to the position he’d been sitting in before you came. “If you want there to be one. I like spending time with you, you know.”

“Good.” You rested against his side. “I like spending time with you, too.”

He chuckled warmly. “I won’t tell Hansol you said that--”

When you whined his name, he merely laughed a little more, head tilting back as his eyes scrunched up with joy. Yet soon enough, he went back to what he was working on, no longer softly singing lyrics under his breath. He merely hummed along, trying to figure out the part he was working on.

“Y’know...” You began to toy with a stray strand of thread on your sleeve. “I talked to Cheol yesterday.”

“Mhm?”

For a moment, you weren’t sure how to bring it up. So you sucked in a quiet breath, before finally looking up to watch his face and try to gauge his reaction. “Joshua. What do you think love is like?”

He didn’t seem to hesitate. “I think it’s putting someone else’s needs before your own. Wanting to be close to them, too. Caring for them in a way that’s different than caring for other people.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he continued to speak:

“It’s the way you make me feel,” he said outright, voice softer this time, as if someone would overhear if he said it any louder. He watched the way you went wide-eyed in response, clearly not expecting him to be so forward. “I was going to tell you differently. I mean, I still will, but--”

“You love me?”

He grew surprisingly sheepish, averting his gaze before giving you the tiniest nod. Strong, warm, outgoing Joshua had been reduced to a shy schoolboy because of one little question from you. “I think I do.”

His heart hammered in his chest, and he felt as though you could hear it from how silent the room had become.

“Oh.” It wasn’t flat. Or disappointed. It was warm, and a little confused, but he could hear the tiniest thread of joy laced into it. You gently bumped against his shoulder again. “Do you want to know how I feel?”

“I do,” he said, “but...” He met your eyes again. “Will you wait?”

... Wait? You’d thought that waiting was a little pointless when the fourteen of you were living this life together. What if things were over tomorrow? Why wait forever? Wasn’t that what Seungcheol told you, too? That you shouldn’t wait to confess to him? “Why?”

“I want to say it right,” he reached out, setting his hand over yours. “Okay? Let me sweep you off your feet.”

He didn’t expect you to laugh so warmly, so full of love at how cute he truly could be. “Okay,” you said, this teasing lift to your voice something he thought you’d gotten from hanging around him so much. “Then do it.”

Joshua set aside the guitar. He stood up, turning to you and offering his hand, and he nearly chuckled at your startled reaction.

“Wait, now?!”

“Nope,” he smiled. “You’ll just have to wait for what I have planned.” He nodded his head toward the doorway, “But I don’t want to give up alone time with you yet. Do you?”

You didn’t, either. With a smile, you accepted his hand, and happily let him lead the way. Although a few others had greeted the two of you, inviting you into a game, Joshua merely told them that the two of you had already decided to go for a walk together. Before someone could try to tag along, he’d already swept you away, happy to steal you all for himself for a bit. Not that he was the only one being greedy: you liked having Joshua all to yourself, too. The way he loosely intertwined his fingers with your own, just enough to keep your hands together but not enough to trap you with him, was sweet. Although when you tightened your grip a little, just to squeeze his hand, he wordlessly squeezed back.

And if he let go of you, just to sit in a shady spot under a tree, who were you to say no when he happily offered the empty space next to him to you?

(Even if it would later net the two of you teasing from Jeonghan when he eventually found you together, hours before dinner rolled around, comfortably sleeping hand in hand.)

Celebrations were always a highlight of having this group. Yes, there was plenty of manual labor that came first... But it would always be worth it to see someone light up, getting attention dedicated to them for a night. If he could see the way you smiled every night for the rest of his life, he’d be happy with that alone. Chan had held your hand as he brought you in, bright petals filling the air as they welcomed you into the group officially. Seungkwan had placed the flower crown upon your head, lips grazing your cheek for just a second--just as everyone else did. Joshua let his lips linger against your skin for an extra second, and found himself feeling a little greedy for doing so... and for wishing that he could steal you away again. He nodded along as Seungcheol eventually did his usual toast, and smiled at the sight of Chan with his arm around your shoulder, ever the dutiful best friend to you. It was clear that everyone there loved you. If nothing else, Joshua knew that you would be loved no matter what. And if his love for you faded into something akin to friendship, it’d still be love nonetheless.

Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan had performed their little song and dance routine--and Joshua had beamed the entire time. Maybe it was because you eventually settled into the seat next to him, letting him drape an arm around the back of your chair and press his side against yours. He loved the sound of your laugh, so full of genuine love for the three as they performed. Jihoon performed a medley of his songs--some new, some old, but these medleys were normal for him. Even with broken leftovers of songs he could never find it in him to complete, Jihoon made a complete experience for everyone to enjoy. Even Hansol had a song to perform, incomplete yet so uniquely him. Jun’s monologue had been written by him, Minghao’s art piece unveiled in the same dramatic flair that he always did...

Joshua pressed a kiss right in front of your ear. “Wait for me,” he said, getting up, “This is for you.”

He watched the realization cross your face as he drifted away, getting a guitar as Jeonghan came to join him. He let Jeonghan introduce the song as he prepped the stage: it was something the two of them had worked on with Jihoon, yet only recently finished together. Soon, he was sitting on one stool with Jeonghan on the other, already playing. You recognized the song soon: it’d been the one he had practiced when he told you that he thought he loved you.

I’m falling for you / falling for you... / it’s too late to escape

(And Joshua, in that moment, was certain he never wanted to. Especially when he fell asleep next to you, smiling at your sleeping face and caressing the white rose that Jeonghan had painted onto your skin.)

The song had been part one. Part two began the next day, before most of the others were asleep. He’d departed from your side early--not early enough to beat the others, but early enough that you were still comfortable in your bed. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, already moving to make his plans. He’d be making dinner with Seokmin and Mingyu tonight, and that meant he could get everything ready without looking too obvious.

It would be hard to avoid you for most of the day, but the others were a welcome help. Jeonghan would point you to him when the time came, but Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan had been tasked with distracting you for the rest of the day. That meant staying away from the garden once chores were over, and letting him take the time to make everything perfect. From the string lights that Seungkwan had found for him to the plush blanket he spread out onto the ground... He had to make this perfect.

Seungcheol had found him while he was working. “You’re telling them, right?”

He smiled. “Is it so wrong to make it romantic?”

“No,” he said, leaning against a tree. “Like I told you... Take care of them.”

“I will--”

Yet he had let out a loud, long sigh. “Seriously... They’ve been staring at you for the past few days. How can you not say something sooner? I think I’d break if they looked at me like that.”

Joshua felt the opposite, actually: Seungcheol was in love with the group. It’d take a miracle for him to tell you how he felt, and even then... He’d probably take a thousand years to do it, too. Not when it made him look as though he was playing favorites. Joshua wondered, for a moment, if that was why Seungcheol seemed so okay to give up his love for you. To let you be happy with someone else. He pushed the thought away: maybe, in another world, Seungcheol wouldn’t have to struggle with his feelings... It made Joshua feel guilty, for a moment. But he reminded himself what they both knew: you loved Joshua.

(In another world, if you loved everyone alongside him... Joshua thought he could live with that. He loved everyone else, too, after all.)

He returned inside to bring out the picnic dinner, dessert packed as well in the form of sliced fruit. Especially strawberries, which he had carefully cut the tops off of and sliced in half. It was a simple enough gesture, but one he hoped you would love.

And when you finally came to him, you laughed. “Seungkwan refused to let me leave him until Chan finally told me what was going on.”

Joshua had been sitting on the blanket, but he rose to his feet, hands outstretched for you. “Does that mean you wanted to see me?”

“Silly...” You placed your hands in his. “I’ve been dying to talk to you all day.” With ease, you slipped your fingers in-between his. “About the two of us.”

“Does that mean there is a ‘two of us?’”

He could see you grow flustered, averting your gaze for a moment as you pressed your lip together. “What do you want?”

Joshua began to lower himself down, bringing you with him to sit together. He let go just long enough to push things aside, scooting forward so that he could be closer to you. He gently took your hands in his again, squeezing them as he gathered his courage to say what he needed to say. He knew he felt something for you, that you felt something for him, and yet saying it out loud was scarier. It made it more real.

“I want us.” He ran his thumbs over your knuckles. “I want to love you while we have the chance. I’ve thought a lot about it, and... I don’t know what brought us here. I-I don’t know what brought you to me,” he squeezed your hands, “and I’m okay with whatever it is, no matter what it is. Because you’re here,” he reached forward, fingers curving around your cheek, “and I’m with you. And... And I think that’s where we’re supposed to be.”

“Joshua--”

“I love you.” His heart was racing as he said it. The words felt at home in his mouth. “And it’s okay if you can’t say it back. But... I think I’m yours if you want me to be--”

You’d lunged forward, kissing him hard and nearly sending him toppling back. His hands fly to steady you, and he shut his eyes as he kissed you back. You threaded a hand through his hair, the other cupping his cheek as you smiled into this kiss. Deep down, there was a tiny urge to just lean back. To let you take over and kiss him and... more, if you wanted it. He let his mind go blank for a moment, savoring how soft your lips felt against his own... And then he remembered.

“I,” he said as he gently pushed you back, smiling. His hair was a little messier now. “I made us dinner. And as much as I want to kiss you again...” He cupped your face, “I don’t want it going to waste.”

It earned a giggle from you, and you pecked him on the lips one quick, final time for now. “Right,” you said, leaning away. “We have time.”

That the two of you did. He’d already begun talking about how he’d been working on this earlier with the others, just to make something that would hopefully taste delicious. The others would be leaving you alone tonight, which was ideal. He wanted to be the sole object of your affections tonight and tomorrow and every day that came after, if you’d let him.

“Maybe that makes me selfish,” he said, drawing you in once more, “I can’t keep stealing you away forever, after all...”

Yet your lips slanted against his, and it made him feel free. Maybe he was never the one stealing you away. After all.. You’d stolen his heart within days of coming here. How could he steal you when he was always yours? He’d have to learn how to share you with the others again, the tiny need to keep you close to him building inside him. Just to link you to one another, like puzzle pieces that have fallen into place...

Truthfully, as long as you stood side by side with him in life... He would be happy no matter where you were. Alone or with the others, all he knew was that he wanted you with him until the end.

general taglist: @twancingyunhao​  @wonuziex​  @synthetickitsune​ @cinnamoroxie [unable to tag?] @cherryredcheol [unable to tag?] @gyulbabie​

under the sun taglist: @shiningstar-byulxx @twogyuu @strawberri-uyu @bbmyungho @thedeeppoet @heeseung-lover686  @jeonncafe  @bfwonu @fifty-shades-of-mischeif @blackwhiteandshadesofgradient @dreamhannies @yourfavoritefreakyhan  @amethyistheart @jeonnyread  @nap-of-a-starr @anidolecalledaoife [unable to tag?] @vernxnsfool

#wooahaes.fic #wooahaes.uts #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #joshua x reader #joshua hong x reader #joshua x you

[olasketches]

What do you think are Sukuna and Yuuji’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?

oh I love questions like that!!

for sukuna, I wanted to say his intelligence and creativity but to be honest I think it's his curiosity and inquisitiveness. Intelligence and creativity are like muscles. you develop them the more you observe, learn, practice and experience and one of sukuna's defining traits is that he's incredibly observant. his curiosity in a way contradicts his "I don't give a fuck about anything" attitude but then we have witnessed time and time again how he finds other sorcerous intriguing or in sukuna's words "fascinating". he even admits later to kashimo that he finds people tasty interesting

sukuna's curiosity allows him to learn new things and lets him acquire more knowledge (hence why he's so adaptable and strategic in combat), probably as a way to keep himself entertained, after all he's also a super bored individual. However, one would think that for someone with such strong sense of curiosity and inquisitiveness that naturally leads him into exploring and learning, he would be much more prone to growing and evolving as a person... well not in sukuna's case nuh uh. cause this guys biggest problem obstacle is him himself.

sukuna claims he doesn't need anyone and thinking his way of living is perfectly fine and yet he showed doubts when that one "annoying brat" who he can't seem to ged rid off (by literally and metaphorically cutting them off) the way he did everyone else, made him reflect on himself for the first time in millennium. sukuna is a great and cunning observant... of everyone but himself. I think his greatest personality weakness is his absolute lack of self awareness, which is kinda funny considering that he's also a character with the most overwhelming sense of self. it’s like he knows damn well who is and doesn’t need external validation but then because he never self reflects he can’t really grow and evolve as a person… and if it wasn't for sukuna and yuuji's forced coexistence, sukuna would have most likely still kept going about his life the way he always did without trying to understand his own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. the reason he never questioned his own way of being is cause others are just a way for him to pass time rather than an opportunity to reflect upon himself and learn something about his own inner workings…

and then we have yuuji who I would say is on the same spectrum just on the opposite end. yuuji doesn't really reflect on himself or question the world he lives in but that wasn't always the case. in the first ten chapter we actually get to witness his internal monologue about death and his place in all of this but after his first encounter with a certain death, everything changes. yuuji stopped reflecting on himself and instead started repressing his emotions. someone actually made a great meta about this, he actively avoids thinking about the whole situation, which brings me to my point. I think yuuji's greatest personality weakness is actually his impulsiveness. he tends to make decisions without thinking about the consequences first. yuuji, like most of teenagers tbh, doesn't want to think too hard about the world he lives in so long as he has something to do but I believe this might also be related to the perception he has of himself as "the dumb one". “Im an idiot so there’s no point in me thinking about these things right?” you can even see that sort of attitude when megumi admits why he saved yuuji that day

you’re so smart fushiguro. thinking about all sorts of stuff, unlike me.

oh yuuji.. yuuji.. :/. but in some ways yuuji's impulsiveness can also work in his favour. his "do it now, think later" attitude doesn't allow him much room to overthink, so once he commits to a task he doesn't back down until he achieve his goal. that's why, I believe his greatest strength are his determination and strong will, something even sukuna couldn't break.

sukuna and yuuji’s strength and weakness go hand in hand and complement one another. sukuna's habitual curiosity reflects yuuji's obliviousness to the world around him, whilst yuuji's determination (but also just sheer existence) caused sukuna to have doubts about his way of living. they're complete polar opposite and yet in some ways they're more alike than they think. neither of them is a big fan of self reflection. they're both stubborn af. physical pain is just an after thought to them, they'll keep going even if they loose half of their limbs. "violence is the solution". they're both freaks who don't mind eating human flesh and one of them actually enjoys it. and lastly, they're both just really miserable. sukuna's selfishness only made him hollow inside and yuuji's selflessness only brought him more suffering and pain. they also think that the solution to their problems is to kill the other one (which is kinda funny now that I think about it lol tho in yuuji's case this is kinda true.. but also not really) and yet they’ve been essential to each other’s growth. they’re both really fucked up individuals who hate each other’s guts and make each other’s lives a living hell but at the same time they also know and understand the other one’s soul like no one else… what’s not to love?

sukuna and yuuji’s dynamic is actually the reason why I fell in love w jjk in the first place. their interactions are always fun and entertaining and they always leave with an even bigger brainrot but at this point I think it’s safe to say that these two consumed my mind and heart and maybe even soul completely. I just can’t get enough of them.

#just look at my blog I’m such a loser for these two it’s almost embarrassing #ryomen sukuna #itadori yuuji #asks #apologies for any mistakes I’m dislexic af

[morallygreyyn]

I love your writing so much.

If it's not a bother, could I have a (maybe little bit ooc) scenario about Illumi realizing the people he hangs out with most (Hisoka and Reader, a truly chaotic duo) are dumbasses, but he loves enjoys having them around?

Thank you!!

those two idiots of mine (illumi x reader x bestfriend!hisoka) (scenario)

description: illumi has a semi crisis over his two self proclaimed best friends

authors note:  it’s not a bother at all and you’re so sweet anon! tbh this has to be my favourite request i’ve gotten so far. illumi dealing with his chaotic duo besties with begrudging love? sign me the fuck up <3

also this also had extrovert/introvert themes so i thought i’d include the mbtis of my boys

illumi: istj (according to a quick google search)

hisoka: entp (like yours truly) (i swear sharing an mbti with hisoka is my defining trait)

reader: whatever the fuck you are (insert your mbti here)

warnings: might be a smidge ooc, i really tried my best to make it have an authentic illumi feel but my guy is dealing with emotions so yk...

requests are open!

Of all the tiresome things Illumi had dealt with in his life, having you and Hisoka be his primary source of socialising might be top of the list. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you all started to meet up regularly for various things, nor could he remember when you had self proclaimed yourselves his best friends.

You and Hisoka were both utterly ridiculous, often matching each other's wild energy as if you were on the same brainwave.

Illumi began to question his ‘friendship’ with you when you and Hisoka started debating whether or not ketchup was a smoothie.

“It’s a blended fruit.”

“But you have it as a condiment with savoury foods.” You argued, whacking the magician’s head with a newspaper.

He swatted you away with an amused hum. “That doesn’t change its nature.”

“You don’t drink ketchup.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Illumi quietly listened to his two best friends argue as you all sat round a table.

As he watched the two of you bicker back and forth, he was unable to fathom your unique stupidity. The assassin understood that individually, his friends were incredibly intelligent and capable people. However once together, you two seemed to share the collective intellect of a prawn. 

“Illumi!” The assassin was brought out of his internal suffering by the very source itself. Both you and Hisoka had decided that for some reason they needed a third person’s opinions on your debate. 

“I’m not getting involved.”

“C’monn, please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“I’ll give Hisoka Killua’s number.”

“Ketchup is a savoury condiment, not a smoothie.”

You let out a whoop of victory, fist-pumping the air in your joy. “HA! Suck it Hisoka!”

“That’s no good, he’s biased.” Hisoka tutted, shaking his head and folding his arms. “You know Illumi always sides with you.”

“That’s because he loves me.”

“Unconfirmed by him.”

“Confirmed in his heart.”

“Does he even have one?’ Hisoka shot.

“Do you even have one?” You fired back.

“Touché.”

Illumi sat there locked in a daze, listening to his two best friends argue like children. Yeah, you two were both the biggest idiots he had ever met, but he wouldn’t change you for the world. Of course he would never say this, but it never stopped the two of you from trying. 

And so what if he loved enjoyed having the two of you around? Who would be able to tell anyway?

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hxh x you #hxh x y/n #hxh oneshot #hxh scenarios #illumi #illumi zoldyck #Illumi hunter x hunter #illumi x reader #hxh illumi #hunter x hunter illumi #illumi zoldyck x reader #hisoka #hxh hisoka #hisoka marrow #hisoka marrow x reader #hisoka x reader #hisoka x y/n #hisoka x you #illumi x y/n #illumi x you #hisoka hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter hisoka #illumi x hisoka

[violetsarepurple-fuckyou]

Gerard and Elody

I’m thinking about Elody and the Princesses. And how all of the princesses are not only the main characters of their stories, but also the ones in their stories who have to be rescued by true love. 

The psychology behind the Daughters of the Crown insane plan is simply this: they are the main characters and royalty -- there is an inherent privilege to that position and even if they don’t realize it, subconsciously they believe that they have the right to decide the fate of the world and all who live in it -- and they are experiencing suffering without an endgame of being saved. They are suicidal, and they wield independence for the first time, and they do not understand what it is to have to be their own source of hope. Their role in the story, their archetype, has always been that they should suffer nobly and then be saved, and now they are not going to be saved. Of COURSE their next logical step is martyrdom! Like Ylfa said, they are young and hot and badass... they don’t actually KNOW anything!

And now let’s talk about Elody, because Elody is the only princess in the group that isn’t actually a princess archetype. She isn’t the damsel waiting on true love to save her, she is the TRUE LOVE. 

Prince Charmings have been notably absent throughout the whole show, from Sleeping Beauty waking up by herself, to Snow White casually saying “Well we’ve killed a LOT of them”. And because Elody is a princess in the literal sense, she was brought into the Daughters of the Crown club without any of its members really questioning it, but in terms of archetype? That’s a Prince Charming babes! 

She finds a helpless, cursed royal, falls in love, saves him with true love’s kiss.  Brennan literally gave her golden plate; she’s a goddamn knight in shining armor.

So now let’s think about this whole thing from her perspective; the perspective of the Prince Charmings which is something we have not thought about at all up until this point. 

SO children in the Neverafter exist to suffer and be taught morals. Princesses exist to be saved. Prince Charmings exist to save the actually important people. I know all of us traumatized, people pleasing, therapist friend idiots understand how horrifying that it is. The scores of dead princes lining the briars of Rosamund’s castle, endlessly compelled to rescue her? Horrifying. They don’t have faces, they are just cardboard cutouts with generically handsome features doomed to chase acts of self-sacrifice and heroism without any real other choice. 

Elody at least has some defining characteristics: she is not shallow, she is lonely, she is the sort of person who could fall in love with a frog if only he could make her laugh. But she still has a heroic nature, a savior complex. 

Let’s think about this from her perspective. Elody loses her parents young. She meets a frog. He becomes her best friend. They fall in love, and it is genuinely sweet, founded upon FRIENDSHIP. And then her falling in love with him turns him back into a prince, and they live happily ever after. 

Except she finds it horrifying. The idea that their stories ended the day they were wed. The idea that she no longer has anything to fight for. No one to save. And then the corruption begins, war starts, and Elody is a knight in shining armor: of course she wants to fight to protect people. 

And she is torn about Gerard, both resenting him and not, because it is really fucking tough when you view yourself as entirely responsible for the wellbeing emotional and physical of someone who you love. It makes you feel superior to them, like there is a power imbalance. It’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself, and it also makes you feel shitty because you feel like you are stunting THEIR growth, and making them reliant on you, and you resent them for it, but also yourself because you kinda constructed the relationship this way yourself in the first place because it made you feel needed, and like even as you blame them for being so goddamn helpless, you also feel absolutely terrified of giving them any opportunities to get hurt and make mistakes and grow. 

So things are tense in Elody’s marriage. And THEN Gerard starts turning back into a frog. The thing that was literally her whole job in the story, she is visibly failing at. Now I think that Gerard’s curse is actually based on his self-worth, and I think that Elody still very much loves him, but the thing is that NEITHER of them know that! So Elody is walking around, a ruler locked in war with a growing rapidly more horrific world, and her husband is being transformed back into a body that is the visual representation of the most traumatic period of his life, and Elody thinks that it is HER FAULT. That her being angry at him, her not wanting the stagnancy of a happily ever after, is her not LOVING him enough. 

And that is so goddamn tragic because Gerard’s whole character arc is about learning not to cling to the safety post trauma, and that a relationship isn’t a happily ever after, it is a continuing collaboration. And he kind of needed her to leave to realize that, because she was too afraid of hurting him to let him grow in that way. But now they need to learn to find that balance together, and here is the thing...

Elody has learned her role in the story. 

She found Gerard’s body. It almost broke her. The princesses found her, got them to join their ranks, and she didn’t tell them she was married, because she wasn’t. Her husband was dead. And they explained the multiverse to her, and they were like “So see? You’re one of us!” and I think she must have realized then that she was not one of them. They didn’t know her story, obviously because they didn’t know she was married. But she must have heard all of their stories, how they were supposed to be saved by their true loves but never were, and listening to those I think she must have thought, “Oh, so that is what went wrong in my story too. I didn’t save Gerard. Look at all these traumatized, jaded princesses and how they hate the world because of the loves that failed them, I did that to my best friend.”

And then she was brought into the new world. I wonder if she got her memories of the current world in spite of not having died to get there. The memories where she transformed Gerard by hurling him into a WALL. If she did, can’t imagine that helped her self-image of how much she believes she hurt Gerard. 

And then Snow White is like “Hey, btw, you have a husband??? He’s traveling with a bunch of heroes from your world who died and came to this one, and he wants to find you.” And suddenly, Elody’s husband is not dead. He is alive. He is a hero now, maybe, because she abandoned him. 

Gerard arrives at the castle. He is apologizing to her SO much, and he is right to, and he is addressing problems that need to be addressed for their relationship to work, but the thing is Elody blames herself for a lot of this, and has been so afraid of letting Gerard get hurt for so long that even though he is the one bringing it up, it still feels wrong to talk about. Like she is going to hurt him. 

In the Adventuring Party, Brennan brought up the idea of power dynamics in relation to Elody, and it got mostly brushed over but it sounded so much like that was her concern during her talk with Gerard that it really stood out to me. Like, she has learned that she is his protector in a very literal sense. The man she loves, who was traumatized as a child, and he NEEDS her to save him. 

It is not necessary to the story of the Frog Prince for the Princess to fall in love with him, case and point the wall throwing. It is necessary for the frog to love and need her. 

We have heard Gerard telling Ylfa that he thinks he would have fallen in love Elody either way, that her being a princess and saving him has nothing to do with it. But from Elody’s perspective? Gerard is under an obligation to love her. The story made it that way. Every problem he has is directly because of Elody’s failures, and he never had a choice in any of it. 

And so when Gerard says that he would not have done the things he has done without her? Elody is seeing his body with a glass shard in his heart: he wouldn’t have done that if it weren’t for her. And when he says she inspires him?

He meant it so sweetly, because he is talking about all the ways he has grown on this adventure, but of all the compliments he could have chosen I think that is the one that would have hurt her the most, because it is such a direct reference to the status differential she feels she has over him, and to the insecurities she herself is so emersed in right now. 

Like Brennan said, sometimes “I’m proud of you” feels like such agony to hear if you don’t think the other person should be. 

I really really hope they find common ground and talk it all out. I really hope that their happy ending is learning that relationships have ups and downs and they can learn to navigate them together. Because I think they really do love each other so much, they just need to break free of themselves and the roles they feel locked in and embrace growth. I really hope that they learn their stories did not end on the day that they wed, but that rather the effort they put into this relationship going forward is an adventure that will last them for the rest of their lives.

Anywho, that is my two cents lol

#neverafter #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #adventuring party #prince gerard of greenleigh #princess elody #destiny's children #daughters of the crown #gerard of greenleigh

[partrin]

rinharu headcanon incoming!!!!!!

(i have too many thoughts about these two and would like to share them with people who might appreciate them):

whenever i see photos/official illustrations like this of rin, i can't help but to think he's one of those good-looking, naturally charismatic people who also happen to be very photogenic and self-aware, i.e. they know their best angles and by god they will make sure EVERYBODY knows their best angles when it comes to selfies, group photos, the likes.

by contrast, haru is awkward when it comes to having his photo taken. and by awkward, i mean all he can offer most times is his soul-searching stare. if he's feeling generous, maybe a slight tilt of the head and the barest hint of a smile (like it physically pains him to curve his lips more than a metal ruler). an awkward peace sign, if he's feeling extra generous (he is me. he is us. he represents a lot of us that can't pose for shit in pictures).

BEAR WITH ME.

these two clowns somehow end up taking on the world stage together, which can only mean they travel a lot together following the end of the franchise, right? we know rin is the type to take pictures of the places he visits, whether to send them to his loved ones back home or mail postcards or update his SNS. but haru, haru is canonically illiterate when it comes to technology. sure, he's an artist - he sees things with the keen eye only a person who can appreciate beauty (squints eyes at rei) might have, and he might take photos of sceneries that he finds breathtaking (waterfalls, fountains etc.)

but he is almost never the one to initiate taking photos of people. or of himself. or of him with people.

so i imagine a lot of haru and rin's travels going like this (read it like you're listening to an audio CD):

rin: nice, isn't it? the canal. they call this the grand canal - venice's main waterway.

haru: [stares into the distance] ah.

rin: do you want me to take a picture?

haru: of what?

rin: the rubbish bin. of you, you idiot! what else?!

haru: ...oh. [fidgets in place because the clown doesn't know what to say]

rin: would be nice if you could send makoto a picture without him asking for a change, wouldn't it? c'mon. i'll take it for you.

haru: [hesitates. makes some weird low disgruntled noise of disapproval. considers picking an argument with rin - wants to insist that he does do things on his own accord without makoto having to ask, but alas -] ...fine.

rin: okay, good. go stand in front of the parapet.

(silence. a bicycle whisks by. birds chirp in the distance. rin watches as haru moves towards the parapet and stands in the center like a rigid coconut tree. he rolls his eyes)

rin: can you at least look like you want your picture taken?

haru: [grumbles] it was your idea.

rin: i know but can't you - [pinches nose] fine, fine. it was my idea. just... pose or something, at least!

haru: i am posing.

rin: no, you're just standing there.

haru: then what am i supposed to do?!

rin: tch, i swear to god - okay, how 'bout this. turn your head a little to the side.

haru: [awkwardly looks to the extreme right] like this?

rin: no, that's too much! just a little. a forty-five degree angle. show your side profile - that's your best angle. your jaw looks sharper from the left than it does from the right.

haru: like this?

rin: yes! yes. okay, now, do you know what's mewing?

haru: i... what.

rin: mewing. it's when you flatten your tongue against the roof of your mouth. realigns your teeth and helps define your jaw. try it.

haru, exasperated: rin, i don't know if-

rin: JUST TRY IT.

haru: fine, fine. [attempts to follow through] is this good?

rin: yes. god, yes. okay, now do something with your hands. don't just leave them hanging next to your body like wet socks. do something with them. look natural.

haru: [awkwardly slides hands into pockets]

rin: tch, boring. do something else!

haru: but you said-

rin: haru.

haru: [narrows brows] fine. [folds arms]

rin: okay, that's- [starts snapping pics] that's good! keep doing it! look left. okay, now look above my shoulder. don't look directly into the camera. okay, now look at the floor, but like, at a forty-degree angle. look like i just casually took a candid photo of you unaware. run your fingers through your hair. good. okay, now smile. SMILE MORE. haru, that is NOT a smile. smile! yes, like that! okay good. alright! come over.

haru: what?

rin, shit-eating grin on full display: see? the pictures look so much better when you put some effort into looking like you don't want to die having your pics taken. i managed to make you look handsome.

haru: [brow twitches] i am handsome, no thanks to you.

rin: yeah, yeah, whatever. damn. i should consider becoming a photographer if the swimming thing doesn't work out.

haru: yeah, if your clients don't mind having an insufferable asshole as a photographer then sure, why not?

rin: why, you little shi-

THE END.

aka i typed an entire script just to conclude that rin would probably make an amazing instagram boyfriend. (or just boyfriend. for haru. um. yeah that's it)

#free! #rinharu #headcanon #someone take my phone away from me

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

skk and the ask game

*whisper* ...no... they covered leopika...

Ah, skk. I'll be perfectly honest, while I was always intrigued by their dynamic, I was kind of indifferent about them as a ship... until Stormbringer. Then I saw Dead Apple. And I just. So much of it is obvious ship bait... but there is also so much of it. Asagiri, what do you mean Dazai is the only one who can bring Chuuya back from Corruption. What do you mean he catches him in fallen angel form as he falls from the sky, and watches him fight while breathless. Why are they roleplaying Snow White. What are we supposed to do with this.

Again, much like everything else I ship though, I'm very... particular about characterization. To me, the core of the skk dynamic is trust, but also the mirroring of each other and their supposed "lack of humanity". Despite what should be a very angsty dynamic though, they're actually just ridiculous and silly a lot of the time. There's something so so wrong with them. My personal preference for them is actually more of a qpr than romantic - they are their own self-defined situationship, you know? hahaha

I'll always be kind of grateful to this ship though because I have met so many cool artists and writers for this fandom who genuinely love the two as characters first and foremost, and I'm honestly really open to a range of possible interpretations of their dynamic so long as Dazai and Chuuya themselves are in character. I love Nawy's goofy shenanigans, and Carrot's angst, and Caelang's softness, and Senhart's displays of trust, and so so many others who bring their own interpretations of this duo - they're all different dynamics, and I enjoy them all. It's been really fun to be a part of. :)

They're also both highly intelligent people who regress to complete childish idiots if allowed to breathe the same air for too long, which is peak hilarity honestly.

#storyrambles #thanks for the ask! #ask game #bsd

[lottiette]

Hort X Self Harming Reader.

Authors note: Hi everyone, I know I haven’t posted in forever. Just haven’t had any motivation and just got done with exams. I’m going to try to get to some of the requests I have. This wasn’t a request but I’m literally in love with this man, and I’m struggling a bit at the moment so it helps. Also this is book and a little bit of movie Hort.

If you are struggling with self harm; please try to reach out. I know it’s hard. But you are worth so much more than misery. Please take care of yourselves.

Trigger Warning: self harm, mentions of killing(nothing graphic or anything, just Hort:), mentions of scars

- He would wolf out/kill anyone who dare lay a finger on you, so you hurting yourself is a big no no.

- When he first saw cuts/burns on you he almost wolfed out then and there. Who the hell had the audacity to even think about touching you! (Especially if this is during the third book, “Last Ever After” He is jacked and at the top! He’s captain for goodness sake. You’d have to be an idiot to hurt something of his.)

- So when he goes to try to find out who did it, you have to explain that they’re self inflicted. If you’re open about it, he listens. But if you try to give him stuff like “It’s nothing.” “Don’t worry about it.” “It’s not a big deal.” “No one hurt me.” Etc. He’s not taking that. You being stubborn isn’t going to stop him from finding the perpetrator.

- He’s devastated when he finds out that they’re by you. Like what do you mean his favorite person, his queen/king hurt themselves? He’s angry. Not necessarily at you, but with the thought as a whole. Why? Why? Why would you do that?

- He wants to understand. He really does. He wants you to tell him.

- He listens to you but you’re not hurting yourself anymore. Not happening. He’s possessive. You’re not hurting you because that hurts him.

- He monitors you. He watches your interactions with others more closely. If you show any signs of “getting itchy” he’s pulling you out of there.

- If anyone says anything negative about you he’s beating them up.(he already would’ve done that, but it’s more intense now.)

- He’s going to protect you no matter what. If that’s taking away sharp objects, pills, lighters, whatever it may be, he’ll do it.

- He would wrist check you(or wherever you self harm), but not openly. Like he’s not going to go “show me your wrists” but he’s going to subtly look in the spots where he knows you self harm.

- He’s the type that would rather you cut him than yourself.

- If you don’t properly care for the injuries, he will. He doesn’t care how much you object.

- He checks up on you a lot. Just little “How are you?”s and if he feels like you’re lying he’s calling you out on it. He’s been manipulated and lied to a lot, you’re not doing it too.

- If a person is the problem(like you’re being bullied or something) they’re dead. If it’s past traumas he’ll listen. He can’t really kill the problem cause it already happened but he wishes he could.

- If you’re in a depression and can’t get out of bed, then he’s going to drag you out. Sometimes he’ll lay and hold you there(because let’s be honest sometimes we just can’t get up. And that’s okay.)

- He really just wants you to be okay, and he’ll be there every step of the way, no matter how long it takes.

- He’ll kiss your scars/injuries and remind you that they don’t define you or make you ugly.

- He thinks that you’re worth so much more than the pain you’re putting on yourself, and he’s going to make sure you see that too eventually.

- If you’re someone who doesn’t cover their fresh cuts/burns/whatever (Let me just say real quick: People who don’t cover fresh cuts/wounds are not attention seekers. They just do not care to cover them because people don’t usually notice or say anything anyways. They are just people who don’t care to sweat in hoodies and stuff. There are people who do self harm for attention, but even still if someone is hurting themselves for attention it still shows that something is wrong and they need help. Never judge someone based on a scar.) Anyways, if you don’t cover and someone says something ☠️. Hort is not tolerating that. Or if they say something about scars. ☠️

That’s all for now unless I think of more. Bottom line is he just wants you safe. Remember if you are self harming, you aren’t alone. There are people who love you and will want to help you. It’s okay to reach out, and it’s okay to be scared. I love you guys, take care of yourselves.

#head cannons #sge #school #school for good and evil #Hort #Hort X Reader #Hort reader #self harm #comfort #the thundermans return #billy x reader #imagine #x reader #tedros of camelot

[chounaifu]

What does your muse think of mine?

@reiketsui :

we don't talk about it. that had been the first line of the wordless pact defining this situationship from the start. as long as everything was kept inside locked doors, there was nothing there that could keep me awake at night. no dead body to bury under the floorboards of the hotel room where we take each other apart – no pretending like we don't see the single bullet shot on its forehead. it turned from a simple convenience to a dizzying inconvenience, from nuisance to a blessing, from nonchalance to obsession that burns like molten lava in my veins. we both know it's here, yet it's never talked about. would ignorance be a bliss? it's difficult to recognize the person i become with you. i fear one night i will say it without thinking. i can imagine the scenario. you drop by unannounced again, and we end up in bed tangled in each other's arms. i'm foolish enough to let go of yet another inhibition, only to realize there isn't any left. suddenly, the restraint isn't there, and i should be horrified by the realization. instead, i take the only chance i get in this lifetime. i love you. i love you. i love you. but you already know.

You fucking idiot.

You stupid fucking bastard.

You've ruined me in ways that I would allow again and again. You've made it impossible to hide around you; there's nothing that you don't know about me, you understand every inch of my body and my psyche so intimately, it makes me feel sick to my stomach at times.

Sick because, I constantly wonder if you will continue to dig through my cranium until you are eroded by the same ichor that drips from it. You scold me for having no self-preservation instinct, but it was you who was ready to lay your life down for all of us on that suicide mission in Goldenrod.

I hate how much you force me to worry about mortality.

You were an unmoving, unshakable entity made of ice, far from human, feeling NOTHING, indestructible, until I saw you plugged into the same machines that kept me alive in the infirmary. I can't stand to look at almost any psychic type now because of that incident. You're mortal, you're physically mortal even though my brain assigned the role of 'god' when I decided that I hated you, and that scares me, because mortal men can die. And if you lose your life, that means I've failed to protect you. That means I've broken my promise.

You know the one.

Or maybe you were too delirious and over-exhausted to remember what I told you when you were crumbled against your desk. It'd been days since you'd seen sunlight. Did you think you didn't deserve to feel it on your skin until you punished yourself for every mistake you didn't actually make? I hate that you make me worry so god damn much.

It's not that I don't think you can handle yourself.

It's that I can't handle the thought of you dropping dead if I have anything to say about it.

Because nobody else gets me like you.

Nobody else knows me like you.

You saw me become a fucking monster and it brought you closer to me.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Don't you realize I could kill you?

Don't you realize how badly I wanted to for so long?

Because if I took your last breathe myself, nobody else would have the privilege. Nobody else would be able to hurt you. Nobody else would force you to be Atlas ever again.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I'd kill for you.

You're mine.

Don't leave me.

#➤ 《 𝟗𝟎 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭; 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐨 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 》 In Character #➤ 《 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐌𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 》 Answered #➤ 《 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 》 Verse One #♡ 《 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫; 𝑾𝒆’𝒍𝒍 𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 》 Aʀᴄʜᴇʀ

[hi-i-do-stuff]

I just found out how to do this

Can you ermmm errrm pretty please do Ghetsis telling us we aren’t ugly :3

Ghetsis moment Get comforted IDIOT! /ref

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Ghetsis x Reader

gender-neutral reader TW mild body dysphoria Enjoy!!!

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You stand before the mirror, scrutinizing every inch of your body with a critical eye. You pinch your cheeks and tug at your stomach, wishing desperately that they were just a little bit different. It's late, and you should be getting ready for bed, but instead you're lost in a sea of self-doubt and self-loathing, your fingers kneading your flesh in a vain attempt to reshape it. You know that this behavior isn't healthy, that it's just reinforcing your negative body image, but you can't seem to stop yourself. As you gaze at your reflection, you wonder how you got here, to this place where you can't even look at yourself without feeling ashamed. You want to make a change, to feel confident and beautiful in your own skin, but you don't know where to start. So you keep pinching, keep wishing, keep hoping that someday you'll wake up and find that everything has changed.

As you stand in front of the mirror, lost in your thoughts, you suddenly hear the door open. You turn to see your partner, Ghetsis, entering the room. He is a very tall and handsome man, but what stands out the most is the eyepatch he wears over his, it sorrowed you a bit to know the fact that he has been slowly going blind in the other as well. He looks at you quizzically, taking in your pinched and pulled expression, and asks softly, "What are you doing, my love?"

You freeze, embarrassed to have been caught in this vulnerable moment. You try to play it off, smiling weakly and saying, "Oh, nothing. Just checking myself out." But Ghetsis can sense that there's something more going on. He steps closer, his hand reaching out to touch your arm. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" he says, his voice gentle and reassuring. "I'm here for you." You peer over at the mirror once more and see your own lip quivering in your reflection. You're horrid at keeping your feelings down when it comes to him, he always had this odd aura around him that made you feel a sense of vulnerability. Not that that was a bad thing, you could often keep your composure in public settings, but otherwise you melted like butter at him, especially when he spoke with such softness in his tone towards you. You turn back to him, his hand that he had reached to you with was still held up but was pulled back closer to himself. He looked down at you with concern and confusion in his expression, and you felt a little bad for worrying him, but you sighed and relaxed a little, taking a step towards him before wrapping your arms around his stomach area, he in return wrapped you in his own. You both quietly stood there together for a while before you spoke up finally, "I'm surprised you settled for me.. I'm far from perfect." You said with a sorrowful laugh, burying your face in his chest. Silence fell over the two of you for another moment, before Ghetsis finally spoke up once more "I want you to know that you are perfect exactly as you are. Your body may not feel like it fits, but to me, it is a beautiful expression of who you are. Your quirks, your flaws, every part of you is uniquely and wonderfully you, and that is what makes you truly beautiful in my eyes. Please know that you are loved and accepted just the way you are, and that your body does not define your worth as a person." He kisses you on the head and pulls back from the hug a bit "I may not see the very best anymore, but I know you are certainly the most perfect person I have ever set my eye upon." You smiled up at him, your eyes a bit watery as you put your palm up to your face to get rid of the forming tears, he smiled right back and guided you out of the bathroom "Come now, my beloved, let's get some rest." he said, keeping an arm around you as you both walked back towards the bed, you could feel how really tired you were now as you said, "Yeah... sounds like a plan."

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Hehehe ghetcis [IS KILLED IMMEDETLY BY GHETSIMPS] Dw love yu all, hope this made you feel good!!!!!!

#ghetsis #ghetsis x reader #ghetsis harmonia gropius #x reader #pokemon x reader #pokemon #drabble #fluff #comfort

[mrsiggytheimp]

did anyone else notice how useless the second part of scene 2 (chapter 2) of Stellarlune is? When it goes into too much detail about Dex explaining Keefe’s ability to Sophie, even thought it already explained it comepletely the previous book? I just think It could have been more brief, and it kind of slows everything down when for the chapters and a half previous to it, it was either releasing new information, new questions, answering questions, or solidifying those, and then half a scene is dedicated toward recalling a scene in detail just last book. It definitely needed to show that Sophie found out from Dex in this. Though I also think Shannon kinda built up Dex keeping the information secret from Sophie, just for Dex to easily be convinced and tell her everything. I personally think she either could have not built it up being a huge secret for half the scene, or kept it a secret for the other half of the scene, and revealed only what Sophie NEEDED to know for the plot, but kept the details that were more personal to Dex, Keefe, and Rex to himself. I feel like Sophie has been through enough books and has enough of her own personal secrets that Dex could have given her the bare minimum of what she needed to know, and she wouldn’t have pried, either that or she would, and Dex could have a personality or (forbid) an arc, and then we could further develop Dex and Sophie’s relationship ship through conflict, and the resolution T h r o u o u T the book instead of piling it all into one scene or conversation like Shannon does sometimes, and built it into every interaction between them, with a nice short exchange of words for communication. I also think that Sophie was kind of pushy with voicing her theory of how Dex and Keefe found out of all of this. I also think that throughout the series, Sophie has had a l o t of correct theories and assumptions, that her wrong assumptions just don’t outweigh, that’s kind of a Mary-Sue quality (I don’t think she’s a Mary-Sue, I just think she has some qualities) and I think that a reason a lot of people say the the co main characters are low key useless is because, while they help a lot, Sophie is defeinitly the main, in everything. I like that she’s the leader, and I love her arc throughout the series, but I think she should have defin… Defincitisies… the opposite of proficiency— (I’m so sorry) I think she should weaknesses in certain areas that other characters have skills and strengths that Sophie simply doesn’t match up to. It’s set up, honestly, but it’s not used. Keefe and Fitz could be the more charismatic, where Sophie can be overly Sarcastic without all that much self control around it, which is really something she does from the very beginning of the book, where she’s shy and withheld with her personality, but as soon is Fitz is like “yer and elf, Sophie,” she whips out the iconic Sophie Sarcasm. Cause she ain’t taking idiots and stubborn people, and in diplomacy, that can cause problems, and as Sophie accepts her role as kind of a diplomat, her sarcastic tongue can cause problems, is what we would think with how she acts with her friends and other characters, but, maybe I’m wrong, it doesn’t seem to. I just think that Fitz or Keefe would need to at times be like “Sophie no—“ as they’re the more charismatic characters.

(I’ve also noticed that the more level attitude tends to go to the male characters, a by product of most of the families haveing the same kind of girl boss personality, the ‘inability’ to speak up to authority often being characters with weak. I think the stereotyping of dumb weak females is quite obviously a problem, but the extreme avoidance of a stereotype can become it’s own stereotype when done to much) (edit: the exception being Edaline, not as a girl boss, she is, but with her, have a more level controlled attitude is portrayed as a virtue with her) on a more fun example, I think someone like Marella could, as a nod to her desire to manifest as an empath, could be very empathetic in nature, but a Marella fashion, not care. Which is why characters work together well. Marella could be emotionally intelligent and outspoken, but unsympathetic, and then other characters (idk who) tag onto that, being naturally blind to people’s emotions, but know how to respond. What I’m trying to say is, in the series, it tends to be “the other characters help, but Sophie Carrie’s the team.” This translates in the series to “Sophie can’t physically do everything because she’s a person, so other people hold her up.” If Sophie was hypothetically much mentally stronger, she could carry everything. What I think would be more interesting and for better would be, even if Sophie was perfect at everything she was good at now, it wouldn’t be enough even then, because there are things that she falls short of as a person, not as a strength level. Which is why she has other people, it’s why relationships exist, without them we couldn’t invent, we couldn’t progress. There’s a point where we stop being able to figure things out because that’s who we. So we figure things out to our extent, and someone else picks that up because of who they are, someone who couldn’t have done what we did. this isn’t to say helping people because they just aren’t strong enough to rise higher and picking up that slack isn’t an integral part of relationships. I envision it as sometimes there’s a wall, so we stack on top of each other to reach the top, but sometimes there’s a lever, a puzzle, and a key, so one of us pulls the lever, two of us work on the puzzle, one of us grabs the key, a few of us stack on each others shoulders to reach the key slot, and then we put it all together to get through the door. Idk though. I kind of went off on a tangent. I’m really curious about anyone who disagrees with any of my points, I want to know other people’s perspectives, or if you think Kotlc does portray the things I said it didn’t, or why is doesn’t portray the things I said it did, or why you disagree with that is a value.

#kotlc #stellarlune #sophie foster #dex dizznee #another example because obviously I can’t leave you all in peace: the Greeks did all the stuff with math #So that Einstein could figure out more stuff about math #So we could teach it to high schoolers who can apply it to other stuff #Maybe idk I don’t know all that much about this #Also #if you think I’m proof reading this to check for spelling errors #think again #keeper of the lost cities