#and if i talk abt being small i feel like i seem like im trying to be those im so dainty and delicate i get hoovered up ppl

[gonzoinamaskandcape]

someone will make a joke about how short they are and i instantly become aware of the fact that im wearing thicker shoes than them and if i took them off the size would uhhhhh not make them the shortest in the room anymore

#god i wish i could wear high heels #also i have thoughts abt being a short and fat person #people dont see me as small or short or anything like that nine times out of ten #and if they do its in v much a silly exaggerated way and theyve known me a while #i am not plus size but literally just because im short i can find a size that fits me in most straight size shops #and i dont want to take away from the amount of shit that plus size people go through #also gender etc etc but in general i can physically put on a size small it will just be Very Tight #but i dont think people actually grasp that concept #anyway proportionally im wide and short and most places dont really cater to that as a thing #and the majority of people dont really see me as small despite being 4 foot 10 #and like i dont mind being seen as taller but it sometimes irks me #and if i talk abt being small i feel like i seem like im trying to be those im so dainty and delicate i get hoovered up ppl #and those people all consider themselves much smaller than me #even when im literally shorter than them noticeably #anyway i understand height and dysphoria and i know these people didnt respect my gender identity either #but when someone who is like five eight is complaining abt being short i get a bit pissed off

[fleshdyke]

shjsjegdbjdr

#going into this im not even totally sure what im gonna end up talking abt so tw for like everything. sui sh csa etc #i have dreams and things i want to do with my life and i dont want to die but i dont know how to handle emotions like this #so my first response has always just been suicide attempt #its so stupid what im upset about but like. idk. i cant get it out of my brain. #its literally just bc my friends are sort of drifting apart from me at lunch. its just that. and it seems so stupid and small to say but i #feel like ending my entire life over this so idk #like im so fucking scared of being alone at lunch. im so scared of being alone. and i tried talking to them about it and i know they have #good intentions but they said ‘we all have other friends and we aren’t each other’s main friends anymore and that’s okay’ #and like. i don’t. i don’t have anyone else to go to #and they basically said it wasn’t their problem. and they didn’t say that verbatim and i’m making them sound so much worse than they are and #i love them all but thats essentially what it felt like to me #and i dont want to bring it up again bc theyve dealt with my shit enough and im mature enough to deal with my own problems #it just. it feels so awful being so fucking alone. i had an actual friend group for a while and my meds were working andi forgot how fucking #bad everything feels. im so paranoid theyre going to drop me and then i don’t know what to do #if they drop me i seriously think i might try to kill myself because i don’t fucking know what to do without them #like it feels like its only a matter of time and i know its not the end of the world but it feels like it. it really fucking feels like it #i feel so inherently unwanted and i know ive said this like a million times over but the only time anyone has ever wanted me was when i was #like 6. and i cant even fucking remember it. like every cis girl is like ‘universal woman experience of being chased by boys you dont want #in elementary school’ and its like. its not universal i would give absolutely anything for that to happen to me bc i know logically that’s #awful and i dont actually want it but god it hurts so fucking much to be unwanted. no one has ever wanted me once. and it scares me that i #want some man to want me so badly he just takes it and i don’t actually want that but it would reassure me that im not broken #and i know its unrealistic to expect to be in a relationship in hs but all of my friends are and it just feels like what the fuck is wrong w #me that no one has ever looked twice other than to bully me. what can i do to change it. will i ever be wanted #everyone i know has someone that loves them unconditionally and not even like romantically like everyone has a best friend at least #but im just so fucking alone. i dont want to be alone forever. i dont know what to do #i dont know how to handle these emotions so i just want to kill myself about it #but i dont actually want to die so i just sit there and cut my arms and hope that someone will ask if i’m okay bc there’s no way i’m #going to volunteer this shit to someone who didnt ask #rambles #vent

[bl00dw1tch]

Am i. Emotionally unavailable?

#horse.txt #todays rambl brought to you guy the guy on grindr who said that i seem to have problems with intimacy and it shook me so bad i had to ghost #having a case of the Realizations. sigh #i just #fuck #ive always been told that im an old soul and that im super mature and open and that my issues with intimacy are Just abt romance #but then this mfr had to go and pry and make me realize it definitely is Not just limited to that #i talk so fucking much i was so willing to believe that im actually ok with meing emotional with people but thats not true is it #i just like to overshare. specifically because it feels like being intimate without actually saying anything of importance #so its like. its helps me lie to myself #my mom. i dont hate her for it but i knows shes a big part of all of tgis. because of course she is shes the only constant ive ever had #and i can count on one hand the amount of times ive seen her cry in my life #and even then. only one or two fingers. if #memory issues aren't helping #dad was emotionally unavailable too of course. my feelings about him are a whole nother thing though #point is im kind of crying my eyes out right now because its becoming increasingly obvious that im fucked up in too many tiny ways #to live a normal life. but theyre so small that nobody would every listen to me try to explain that thats why i am this way #i want intimacy i want to feel seen i want to feel understood but thats so hard to find even for normal people so what hope do i have #no motivation no dreams no fucking nothing #vent // #sorry. this was supposed to be lighthearted but #yknow

[angelhound]

.

#i ran into my old boss yesterday at Walgreens and im still thinking about how embarrassingly bad at socializing i was #i went to say hi on purpose bc i hvent seen him in like. years lol and tbh love that little fucked up cowboy grandpa #but i literally. cant make small talk what do u say. i got myself into a situation before preparing a script and i am so silly and goofy. #he asked me whst i was up to and i told him my day plans but he meant like. in general what am i doing w my life #and it was overall. not my best performance. but i DONT KNOW WHY i am Still Thinking about it it does not matter even kind of #he wasnt mean to me we hugged. chatted abt tape. i accidentally said i was there for antibiotics for my skin infection and he was like wtf. #forgot ur not supposed to like be honest with people. thats what i was doing there he was there to buy tape. #ugh anyways this is the extent my severe self embarrassment goes that was a normal interaction and its haunting my every hour that i did it #Wrong #still thinking also abt the time i went to joanns and forgot my card and i had to sit at the checkout waiting for my bank app to load in #silence for 5 minutes #its been like.. a month already it really doesnt matter #no evil hat man is going to come punish me for incorrectly navigating social situations. and yet #idk its so annoying because consciously i dont care i have consciously forgiven myself for being silly. goofy. a little stupid. but its in #my Bones the feeling is in my very bones and i cannot seem to take it out #trying to accept the feeling of shame but its my least favorite feeling of all time ever actually. i am a chronic shame avoider #but my extreme over classification of what is shameful is preventing me from living how i want to so im trying to get over it but it still #Feels the same even though i am on purpose putting myself in those situations now bc i Know its actually fine #i feel very emotionally wack this month because i have been experiencing so many situations. situations i would never have been in previous #ly #mostly i want to kill myself or move to a different state so i never have to see anyone again lol. but i will endure i Guess #how do u let go of what is ingrained in your very bones i been like this since birth #if i told a professional abt this they would give me a fat diagnosis of AvPD but i Also will be actually. hm fixing myself so it doesnt #matter if thats true. i can feel it letting go of me finger by filthy sharp nailed finger #its just really slow progress sometimes. like talking to mr cowboy and instigating a plague i am enduring for days. #i got really good at navigating it without actually fixing it for a long time. the loophole is that if i already know how to do something #correctly i dont need to avoid it. If i am already sure i will do it right. but there are many variables in life that do not allow you to be #sure about things before doing it and that has been the largest source of any stagnation in my life for the last 10 years+ #no longer tho. now i do it anyways and consequently have to try not to spiral every day. livin on the edge babe #anyways i am my own evil hat man punisher. and im out of tags

[yuheartss]

I CAN MAKE HER LEAVE

Summary - Saiki vs Teruhashi who wins? If im motivated enough I’ll probably do a pt 2

𖦹 wc - 1424

𖦹 warnings - mentions of death , sorta yonder behavior??

𖦹 a/n - Saiki and Teruhashi probably don’t seem like theirselves right? That’s bc I kinda based this off secret alliance ehehe I had no real idea what this one ws abt so..

There were eyes staring at the back of your head boring into your very soul you shifted uncomfortably in your seat trying to tune into the teachers lesson you tapped on the beads that hung onto your braids your staring at me …again you thought as you stopped tapping on your beads you began to write whatever the teacher wrote on the board once you were done you looked behind your shoulder for a split second

From behind you you heard shifting “no I’m not” he responded a little defensively to which you chuckle softly to yes you are I can practically feel your eyes piercing my brain you exclaim in your mind while imagining lasers poke into your head you hear him huff then the teacher dismisses the class for lunch you turn around in your seat to face saiki “guess what I’ve got for ya” you said trying not tho think of what you got him

“You got me a coffee jelly?” His eyebrow raised as he guessed correctly “yes, as always your correct” you replied pulling out his jelly and your lunch “I was at the store this morning and thought of you so here we are” he nodded with the slightest faint of blush unnoticed by you “thanks” You both ate in a comfortable silence enjoying your respective meals occasionally you would ask him a question or two and he would respond with a simple answer or a sarcastic remark

Then from the corner of your eye you saw teruhashi staring at you two she looked like she was jealous but also hurt? her glow didn’t shine as brightly it made you wonder what was going through her head you gave here a small wave and her way too bright glow shines once again as she waves back with a smile now the two of you are stuck in this awkward wave across the room how did we get to this? you chuckled awkwardly reminiscing in your thoughts

“Put your hand down” Saiki told you with a hint of amusement almost finished with his jelly ‘s not that easy your arm is starting to hurt you groan softly and try to look anywhere but Teruhashi but no she kept staring at you and sometimes at Saiki speaking of Saiki he rolls his eyes and puts your and down himself “that wasn’t so hard was it?” You break away from Teruhashi’s stare to glare at him “easy for you to say, you don’t care if she likes you” Saiki frowns

“And you do?” He sounded a little hurt compared to his normal monotone it was only a small difference but you noticed it , that made you pause and think “well…no but.. ugh you know what I mean!” You tried to change the subject but that same frown resided on his face that was until Kaidou and Nendo came over loud as always Saiki’s frown deepened as he sighed then others, your friends, started piling up over you two theres no telling when Teruhashi was going to be in this bunch

“Hey guys i reallyy appreciate all of you being here but class is about to start and the teacher will be back soon” you told the group of friends there was a slight moments where they gave you skeptical looks but agreed “yeah your right” “yep” “talk to ya after class!” One by three they all went back to their seats and the teacher came in thank you god! You thought intertwining your fingers together and bowed your head

The teacher left once again to get more worksheets Teruhashi took the opportunity to walk over to your desk in the prettiest humanely possible her slow walk to your desk made you feel like you were in some kinda k drama she gave you a small smile “hey Y/n do you have and extra pencil?” You stare at her for a bit “yeah..yeah I do hold on” you turn around and dig into your bag and bring out a mechanical pencil with a green lollipop charm on the side

“It’s so cute! Where’d you get it?” Teruhashi beamed playing with the lollipop charm “the farmers market” you replied “it’s one of my favorites actually” the blue haired girl blinked in your direction “oh really?” She takes your hand and squeezes it “then I’ll take good care of it!” Your face heats up as you look away from her “yeah okay..” after those words leave your mouth a snapping sound came from next to you you and Teruhashi looked over at Saiki or what he was holding to be exact

He gripped onto a no.2 pencil so tight that it snapped in two he looked down at his hand and quickly hid the pencil away his gaze went up to your hand that was still in Teruhashi’s “my pencil broke” was all he said still giving the both of you and Teruhashi’s hands a hard stare “do you..want one of mine?” You asked slightly amused by his expression he nodded and you pulled your hand away from Teruhashi’s once again you reach into your bag to grab another mechanical pencil this time with a coffee jelly keychain

“I meant to give this to your earlier, had it commissioned justt for you” you smile as you hand him the pencil now it was his face that heated up but just barely “thanks..” you smiled a little brighter unnoticing Teruhashi’s frown “well! I’m gonna go now, thanks for the pencil! Byee~” she said in a sing song voice while she walked back to her desk you waved back and turned to Saiki laying your head on his desk

“Man I’m soo tired.. when’s the teacher coming back?” You asked him closing your eyes in the process “get your head off my desk” he replied with the most annoyed expression known to man “and he’s not coming back” your head went up abruptly almost smacking him in the chin “why what happened??” You asked almost concerned Saiki dismissed your worried look with a simple sentence “it’s almost the end of the day” your eyes widened “really? He nods once and you check your phone

“Then why are we still here..” your voice drifted furrowing your eyebrows in confusion your attempt fixed on the ruffles of his back as he packed his things and stood up “what are you waiting for? An invitation?” You sighed heavily packed your things as well and stood up “the treatment I get…” you shook your head and walked out with Saiki you both got too the stairs before Teruhashi came skipping over

You heard saiki audibly sigh “oh hey Teruhashi..what are you doing… ?” You greeted squeezing your bag hook nervously “you’re leaving right? I was on my way out too!” She clung onto your arm as you both walked down stairs almost completely ignoring Saikis presence behind the two of you she led you and Saiki mostly you towards the shoe boxes Teruhashi separated from you to go take off her uwabakis as you and saiki did the same

From a distance saiki gave Teruhashi the biggest side eye with furrowed brows if looks could kill she’d already be dead once he had his shoes back on he stood next to you “why is she with us? He asked a little irritated by her presence it was supposed to be the two of you together! Don’t get him wrong he knows the reason why she’s here but he needed to hear from you why she was here “well..she wanted to tag along so..o guess i couldn’t deny her? She’s Teruhashi!” You muttered

“I do really wish it was just us but you know..” you shrugged your shoulders making some of your beads roll off your shoulders and dangle from your back “I’m back~!” Teruhashi popped out of nowhere startling you she went right back to clinging onto your arm as you three walked outside the building “do you really want her here?” Saiki asked you his voice almost unsettling as he stared at the back of Teruhashi’s head

“Do you need her here?” He kept talking his voice echoing in your mind as you thought about Teruhashi’s place right now what are you gonna do to her? There was a slight pause Saiki thought an his words carefully as to not make you panic of worry knowing that once he and Teruhashi were alone he could get rid of her…using a new magic wand “I can make her leave..”

#black!reader #fem!reader #saiki k x reader #saiki x reader #saiki k #kusuo saiki #hint of #yandere? #yandere #black tumblr #poc reader #tyler the creator #naowrites໑⃝

[dontexpectmuch]

hii im obsessed with your writing like pls send help-

i was wondering if you could write a lil fic abt Jude where he and the reader have like a rlly cute relationship and they have special daily things (kiss before he leaves, cuddles when watching movies, etc) but then Jude breaks up with her bc she's too 'needy' and then he regrets it bc he misses her antics and its just a whole lot of angst. no fluff, bc your sad stories with sad endings are to die for ✨❤

where did you go wrong? were you really that clingy, needy even? did he feel uncomfortable, like he didn’t have enough space?

were all the kisses fake, something he did to please you?

“‘m leaving!” he yelled, standing by the door with his bag on his shoulders, leaving for training.

hearing his voice, you moved to him to kiss him goodbye, lips already puckered as you angled your head up, his lips finally meeting yours.

“take care and text me if you need anything, yeah?” you asked him, smile reaching your eyes.

jude fought the urge to roll his eyes, what could he possibly need when he was at training? however, he just nodded, telling you he would before closing the door behind him.

or what about the sweet nothings he’d whisper in your ear when you were cuddling on your couch, watching his favorite show. the way he’d hold you close, drawing loose shapes on your waist as he looked at you, smiling softly.

“i love you, you know?” his voice was soft, suitable for the current vibe.

he came back from training, immediately closing his arms around your body. even though you didn’t live together officially, it surly felt like it, since you spent most of your time together in your flat.

“i love you too, jude.” you said, head leaning against his shoulder, eyes looking at his.

surly, you weren’t the only one in this relationship that liked to cling on to their partner, trying to be as close to them as possible. jude also always had to touch you somehow, wether it was your waist, your shoulder or even your pinky finger.

if that was the case, why did he want to end the relationship then? everything seemed to be fine, where did that come from all of a sudden?

jude looked at you with empty eyes, no smile on his face, like he lost an important game. but, that wasn’t the case. these last few games only ended with positive results for the team. so, why all of a sudden?

“we should break up.” he began, voice stoic, sending shivers down your spine.

“huh?” did you hear wrong? what was he talking about?

“‘m bein’ serious, i don’t feel like bein’ in a relationship with you anymore.” he continued, stabbing you in the heart with every word that left his lips.

you shook your head lightly, as if trying to wake yourself up this nightmare. “i don’t understand, why? did something happen?”

jude sighed, he knew that it wouldn’t be easy, you were always like that, questioning his any and every move. “i need space, and it seems like you don’t want to give me enough. always clingin’ onto me like your life depends on it, y’know?”

you would have never thought that jude, your sweet and considerate jude, could ever be able to hurt you like that, making you feel small and questioning your relationship in ways you never did before.

“but-“

“please, just accept it and let go, will you? i’ll get the rest of my stuff some other day.” he cut you off, patience running thin as he gets up and leaves your home without even bidding goodbye.

he just left you, broken hearted, tears running down your cheeks as you desperately tried to comprehend what just happened.

now, months passed by and you slowly but steadily moved on from the break up, going as far as to dating a few people here and there. still, the thought of being in another committed relationship made you shiver, the scars still too fresh.

you were once again in your flat, typing away on your laptop as the sudden noise of your doorbell pulled you out of your concentrated state. sighing, you leave your desk and move to the front door, opening it without checking first, a huge mistake.

there he stood, in all his pride, looking down at you with an uncertain look in his eyes. he was wearing some tracksuit and a beanie, maybe coming here after training. you wouldn’t know, however not knowing about his growing success wasn’t as easy as you thought.

while you tried your best to move on from jude, he made it quite hard for you. his face plastered on posters on the street, multiple pictures of him online on your feed and what not. it made you boil internally, mad at the universe for doing that to you.

“hey.” jude is the first to speak up, not being able to bear the awkward silence hovering between any longer.

“did you forget something here?” is all you reply, coldness radiating from you as you stood firmly on your spot.

what was he doing here?

“i miss you, i miss us.” he mumbled, face looking down, yet his eyes peaked though his lashes, scanning your face for any reaction to his words.

scoffing, you roll your eyes and try to close the door, however jude reacts fast and puts his foot between the frame and door, hindering you from hiding yourself from him.

“please,” he almost begs, desperation laced in his voice, “i was an idiot, i didn’t think clearly. i mistook your love for clinginess.”

“am i supposed to care?” you wanted to laugh.

did he really think you’d forgive him? after what he has put you through? you weren’t dumb nor blind, you have seem all the posts of him with various women in clubs or on the street, kissing, touching and much more.

“i’m not some bed warmer, jude. i won’t wait for you to play around a bit and then come back, especially not after how you ended things.” you tell him, eyes stern.

jude sighed, closing his eyes to compose himself before he spoke up, “i know, but i changed. after all this time i came to realize that i can’t do it without you, please, babe-“

“don’t call me that, i have a name, you know?” you interrupted, shaking your head, “don’t call me in general, jude. leave me alone.”

this time, you shut the door completely, turning your back and leaning against it as you inhaled deeply.

this is not how you imagined your saturday night to be like, but whatever.

though it hurt, rejecting the man that you once called the love of your life, you also felt really proud for staying true to yourself.

yes, you missed him, dearly, and seeing him again resurfaced some of the feelings you still had. but you proved to yourself that you were on the right path.

you were moving on.

————————————————

fuck sleep

#football one shot #football x reader #x reader #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x you #football #jude bellingham fluff

[astralnymphh]

I just got on and saw what’s been happening and bro…I’m glad people are talking about it. Mostly about the smut, inclusivity, Palestine, and the fetishization of trans people.

Reading smut is so underwhelming like it seems like that’s all what people write these days. Like I need ANGST! I need to CRY! I need SLOW BURN AND PLOT….

And to be honest, I personally feel like some writers purposely list the reader’s physical descriptions as being white… like damn you know multiple people are going to come across your shit. I would get annoyed asf when I see something like “she touched your soft pale flushed skin” BITCH- 💀 don’t piss me off 😒🦶🏽

I won’t speak too in depth about the fetishization of trans people in fanfics because I’m not trans and I don’t want to say anything inaccurate BUT I will say it’s so disturbing and off putting seeing shit like that and seeing how people are sexualizing trans people more than treating them like regular humans…I also came across that ‘femcel’ series and🧍🏽‍♀️erm… no.

I appreciate the account who made the post discussing how the word trans and the f word are completely different. I didn’t even know that word was derogatory and it shocked me... I hope that account takes it down and they educate themselves or something cause 🙁👎🏽

yes pook YES smut can be underwhelming and so overdone. we definitely need more angst/fluff.. or just PLOT in general. no, i'm not saying don't write it at all (incase anons twist my words, cause.. they're good at that.) i'm just saying that it would be nice to see some fully fleshed out pieces with emotion and storytelling. i have something in the works though, that encompasses all genres (fluff/smut/angst) so, there's that!

people will so clearly write the whole petite pale white girl bs like "ur delicate small hand" or the fuckass "doey eyed and blushing cherub red" like NEVER portray reader so specifically unless you're going to specify it in the cw!!!! do whatever for ellie's white ass but for the love of gods and goddess BE AWARE OF READER AS A SPOT TO FILL, NOT AN OC!!!! idk how else to describe what i just said. but. it is said. so it. yeah. that whole delicate small petite thing kinda trickles into writing childlike readers too but. thats a whole nother discussion. no clue if i ever used that phrasing in the past tho i have no bold memories of my writings in detail.

i think people will listen to anybody but trans people who are actively calling it fetishization, like. all the mfs arguing with them say "trans and f💀ta aren't the same!" yeah. they aren't. cause one is like, a genuine, flesh and bone person.. with a whole story.. and feelings.. and experiences.. and one is.. fetishization. how many times do trans people have to repeat that? bet most of the people trying to argue against it aren't even trans.

the whole thing about authors "flooding" the tlou tag with palestine posts is also dumb as fuck. is scrolling a bit too taxing on your poor smut-guzzling thumbs?? ur scrolling over big booty fics, i think you can scroll a little further past those posts if you're really that much of a basement dwelling fuck that's sitting comfortably in their homes while a genocide is happening. out here sobbing cause people are spreading awareness. eat my bum bum booty. ++ also add-on cause we're holding writers accountable for ignoring a strike (different than not knowing at first) but there's also the artists!! they're there too.

anons r gonna come into my inbox abt all this but i'm not even gonna answer like, don't waste your time. im not reading all that. especially coming from an ANON 💀

me when

#⤹𓍢ִ໋aestras asks #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou #lesbian #sapphic #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fanfiction #tlou #fanfiction

[otter-pup]

OP IS A TRANS MAN. THIS IS ABOUT A TRANS MAN. DETRANS KINKSTERS DNI.

thinking abt going on a blind date w a sorcerer who casts a subtle spell at the start of our date that whenever I moo my tits swell a little more with milk, and also cursing me so if i try to say “me” or “my” it comes out as moo. so i try to order drinks, “…and the same for moo—“ and cut myself off, startled, before clearing my throat and trying again. “sorry, i mean for moo— for moo.” the sorcerer chuckles and sends the waiter off.

saying it three times in a row, i definitely notice the way my chest is pressing up against the sports bra id chosen over my binder. im small chested enough it didn’t matter, but it seems like it does now.

im embarrassed, but I try to keep the date going comfortably. except every time i go to say me, or my, i moo instead, my sports bra getting increasingly uncomfortable, the bottom band riding up as all parts of it dig into my chest, which is completely visible now. the sorcerer is just smiling and continuing on with the conversation, up until I moo a few more times and my sports bra audibly rips.

i gasp, then moo again, not even able to hold it back. it feels—good? the way my sports bra just ripped, leaving my usually form-fitting shirt struggling as the only barrier between my tits and the world.

the sorcerer ushers me out of the restaurant at that, leaving more than enough to pay for our meals on the table, and brings me to his car with the promise of driving me home. instead, he drives me to his house, encouraging me to keep talking about myself the entire way, just to see how many times i slip up and moo, getting increasingly common the more I say it, the more my tits swell, the more my shirt has to strain to contain them, the dumber I get with the pleasure of it.

it holds until we get to his house and he gets me inside. then, he prompts me one last time, and my tits swell just enough to get the seams to start ripping, the pressure on my nipples making them start leaking, my shirt getting wet, the tightness and the pressure and the release making me choke out one last moo and cause my shirt to tear off my body.

he starts groping and milking me immediately, and im putty in his hands, moaning and mooing and growing faster than he can milk me. he’s praising me for being such a good boy the entire time, telling me ill be his prized hucow for as long as I keep swelling with this much milk, and promising he’ll take good care of me.

#puppybarks #male hucow #hucow k!nk #ftm hucow #lactation kink #male lactation #dumbification #breast expansion #dubcon #nsft #ftm nsft #t4t nsft #gay nsft #mlm nsft #trans nsft

[moonstruckme]

hi mae!! i saw ur anon earlier abt which characters u have reqs for rn and u mentioned not having any for tasm!peter, which i think is a crime, so i’m here to change that!

i looooved your marauders fic where reader came out as nonbinary (im enby myself) and i was wondering how that would go with peter? maybe during the stage where they both know they like each other, but haven’t officially started dating yet, and reader comes out to him as what they see as a “warning”. i’m openly enby but still present as very femme, so whenever there’s even an inkling of romance between me and a guy i’m always like “oh they dont know im enby. if i tell them they’re not gonna like me anymore, but also, this is who i am”. of course, no need to write this if you aren’t comfortable/not feeling inspired by it!! thank you love 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Hi gorgeous, thank you for requesting! I'm always a bit worried about these because I can only really try to imagine the enby experience from my outsider's perspective, so please lmk if there are any inaccuracies and/or insensitivities :)

tasm!Peter Parker x nb!reader ♡ 1.1k words

You’re constructing your lego flowers at about half Peter’s pace. Peter’s a whiz with everything, and you thought you were used to it, but the way he’s leaving you in his dust is borderline humiliating. He barely even has to look at the instructions, while you’re turning them over in your hands, glancing repeatedly between the paper and the small plastic pieces strewn between you on the couch. 

It might have something to do with your lack of focus. Which might have something to do with Peter being in especially flirty form today. 

It’s no secret that the two of you have feelings for each other. You have for a while, and you’ve both been aware of it for almost as long. Until today, neither of you seemed prepared to do anything about it. But something feels different. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, quick glances through his lashes as he talks, or the way his friendly touches seem more intentional than usual, or the fact that he’d wanted to build lego flowers with you because he thought you’d like it, despite you never having exhibited any interest in legos in your life. 

None of it is unwelcome. You want to enjoy it, but the escalation makes your palms sweat. It makes it seem like something is going to happen, some change, and you haven’t been honest with him yet. You feel like a time bomb. Or a mirage. Peter thinks he’s getting one thing with you, and then you lift the veil to reveal that you’re something else entirely. You feel like you have an obligation to clue him in before he makes any kind of move. And you’re scared of missing your window, but you have no idea when it’s passing. 

“I think you’re missing this one.” Peter’s hand moves over your lap, depositing a lego piece. 

You look up at him, returning his smile. “Thanks,” you say. “This is super unfair, by the way. You’ve got years of experience on me.” 

“It’s not a competition,” he laughs, looking at you in that way again. Warm, sunny, and something else. He holds his finished product out to you, a plasticky snapdragon. “Here, add it to our bouquet.” 

You take it from him compliantly, picking up the vase you’d dug out from your cabinet to hold the growing selection of plastic flowers. You can feel Peter’s eyes on you, and your hands shake a little as you arrange it among the others. If he puts on smooth jazz and starts lighting candles, you’ll bolt. 

“You’re gonna have a whole collection by the time we’re done here,” he says, and you hum in affirmation. His smile fades a bit. “Are you hungry? I could make us some dinner.” 

You aren’t, really, but you ought to be. You suspect your appetite’s just clogged up with nerves. “Sure, I could eat.”

Peter hops up, seeming happy to have something to do. “Okay, sick.” He starts going through cabinets, energy zinging off him in every direction. “We have frozen pizza! Or, uh, leftover thai food, or mac and cheese. Ooh, and we’ve got breadcrumbs! We could crust up the mac and cheese, if we’re feeling fancy.” He looks at you, raising his eyebrows comically high. 

“We can be fancy,” you say, trying to imitate his teasing tone. 

You don’t think you pull it off very well. Peter frowns and sets the boxed mac and cheese down on the counter. 

“Hey, are you okay?” You must look startled, because he softens the question with a smile. “You just seem a little spacey today. Is…are you having fun?” 

“I am,” you say, perhaps too quickly. Your voice is tinged with desperation. You try again, more sincerely. “I am, Pete. This is fun. I’m sorry, I’m just a little out of it.” 

“That’s okay.” He makes his way back over to the couch, folding a leg underneath him as he sits. His eyes are earnest on yours. Reassuring, even though he doesn’t know what there is to reassure yet. “What’s eating you?” 

You try to look casual, make your tone sound offhand. “Have I mentioned that I’m nonbinary?” 

Peter blinks. “Uh, no. I don’t think so.” 

“Oh.” You grin, shrugging. Every move you make feels stilted and embarrassing. “Well, I am. I’ve just been thinking I should make sure you knew, just in case you didn’t.” 

“Okay.” He seems a bit stunned, but he hasn’t broken eye contact with you. And Peter’s not looking at you like he’s seeing through the veil. He’s looking at you the way he always has. “Are you—is this your way of trying to tell me that you want me to use different pronouns for you?” 

“What?” you laugh. “No. I’m not trying to tell you anything, just…I like you, and I didn’t want to, like, trap you in anything if you didn’t know.” The levity saps from your tone as you go on, until your voice is painfully quiet. “I understand if you don’t like me anymore. It’s cool.” 

“What?” Peter repeats you, but the delivery is off. He sounds gutted. “Why would you think that?” 

You shrug. You’re doing your best to look normal, but your face is burning something awful. 

“You’re not—” he shakes his head. “You’re not trapping me in anything. Sweetheart.” Peter surges into your corner of the couch, crowding you as much as hugging you. Mindless of the viscous little plastic pieces biting into his knees. He smells like laundry detergent. “Thank you for telling me,” he says, face an inch from your ear, “but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Sorry to disappoint.” 

You laugh, the sound embarrassingly choked. He rubs your back roughly. 

“I can tell this is you just trying to get out of things,” he goes on with impressive lightness, “and I really hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me. We have a lego bouquet now. Those are binding.” You laugh again, and Peter’s voice drops to a more sincere register. “Thanks for telling me though, really.” He releases you, or partly, hands sliding down your shoulders to rest on the crooks of your elbows. “I like getting to know you. I’ll take whatever new material you want to give me.” 

“Thanks,” you say softly. You muster your confidence, taking his forearms in your hands and giving them a friendly squeeze. “I didn’t realize the lego flowers were a contract, though. I think I may want to renegotiate my terms.” 

Peter blows out a breath, shaking his head. “Sorry, can’t help you. There’s no backing out now.”

#tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x you #tasm!peter parker x y/n #tasm!peter parker x self insert #tasm!peter parker fanfiction #tasm!peter parker fanfic #tasm!peter parker fic #tasm!peter parker fluff #tasm!peter parker hurt/comfort #tasm!peter parker imagine #tasm!peter parker drabble #tasm!peter parker blurb #tasm!peter parker scenario #tasm!peter parker one shot #tasm!peter parker oneshot #tasm peter parker #tasm!spiderman #the amazing spiderman #nb!reader #tasm!peter parker x nb!reader

[a-libra-writes]

Rocky Rickaby x gn or fem reader who is really REALLY physically affectionate headcannons? Like i'm talking giving him a nice smooch on the lips from time to time for no reason, hugging and or cuddling Rocky when they or he wants sum and giving him small pecks and kisses on his forehead, cheek, sometimes nose and ALWAYS giving him compliments and words of reassurance when they see that Rocky's feeling a bit down in the dumps. While savagely telling or killing the person off.

I'm totally normal abt him bro dw

Okay so I got MANY requests for a Part 2 on the first Rocky HCs, so Im using this as a jumping off point! Lots of affectionate GN Reader in here, and i have. So many thoughts. So lets goooo

Obviously ... Rocky loves all this attention. When he initially started crushing on you, any attention was good and wanted, but especially the smiles and approving words. The best part in those early months was the fussing. Since he's always in some kind of state, you'd call Rocky over to smooth coat or tidy some leaves out of his hair.

He'd actually keep still, too excited and surprised to think of moving while your hands pawed over him - even if it just lasted a few seconds. At some point you'd clean dirt (or was that blood?) off his face with one of your hankerchiefs, and you better believe he always "forgot" to return it. Maybe if he knew you'd be at the cafe, he wouldn't fix himself up, hoping you might be inclined to do it instead. Maybe.

Anytime you initiated some closer form of contact - first the fussing, then maybe touching his face, then perhaps hugging - he always freezes for just a second, then immediately accepts and melts into it. And after that, he's more than happy to initiate the same kind of affection.

It's almost like Rocky needs to "wait" for permission, to have someone else cross that line first. Like he isn't allowed to, or rather - the wait is better than potential rejection. This is doubly so if you're more of a posh cat, or perhaps someone whose more closed off. Impulsive and adoring as he is, the thought of frightening you away or you being repulsed by him is too painful a thought. Once you make it clear that he can "cross" a new line in the relationship, he practically leaps over it. As time goes on he won't have these worries nearly as much. They're mostly subconscious, too - an anxiety he can't figure or name, and he'd rather not dwell on it.

Honestly, if you aren't a physically affectionate person, it'll be tough. Rocky really thrives off it and sees it as an affirmation of your feelings, though he soaks up the praise and loving words, being physically close, held and accepted just hits different. And ... combining both the physical and verbal affection? Yeah, he's just. Doe-eyed and lovestruck. It's both sweet and a little sad how desperately happy it makes him.

Your loving words don't even have to be anything effusive or overly romantic - simple appreciation for when he helps you out (or tries to), daily "I love you"s, complimenting something about him, expressing happiness at spending time with him, it all goes straight to his heart and his head. If he goes too long without it, Rocky will prompt you for praise and attention. Before you two were a couple, Ivy teased him about it - "You're always looking for them to pat you on the head!" Yes, and what of it? If you're someone whose older or at least seemed more mature and collected, your approval only matters all the more, as is his desire to impress you.

This also means if you're ever upset or cross with him, he takes it to heart as well. Icing him out, trying to do the silent treatment, etc seriously messes with him. Rocky will completely blame himself and spiral and it won't be pretty, so it's best to resolve the fights maturely and with a level head. Yes, he tries to act like he isn't hurt or terrified you'll leave. It's an act, and a poor one at that.

Since he's so noodly, it's easy to wrap your arms around Rocky's torso for a big hug! He loves it, of course, he'll return the favor and lift you right up (or ... try to, anyway). He'll even (try to) spin you around! If you let him, Rocky will just stay clinging and lean on you, inquiring about your day and what you're up to. He likes to rest his chin on your shoulder or your head, his tail happily whapping at your leg while he chatters.

He'd really love it if you just let him curl up in your arms on a couch or something - seriously, when's the last time he's had that? It's almost a novel experience, and even better if you're a bigger and floofier cat! He'll have moments of disbelief that this is real, that you're allowing it and you want the clingy sleepy snuggles. Sometimes he falls asleep because you're so comfy and warm. Again, when is the last time he's had a warm, safe and cozy place to sleep? When ??

(Semi-related note, he can fall asleep in the weirdest positions and places. Years of being homeless will do that.)

Oh! And the kisses. Kisses are good, they are great. Even the little ones on the cheek or his brow. He's not totally shameless so any lingering or deeper kisses in private (and ofc if you're masc, that's just safer). I mean he could just kiss and hug you forever, he just gets drunk on all the affection and love. Definiately the sort of person to just make out and be totally content; he'll get pretty cheeky and bitey, too. If you have a tickle spot, look out. It will be found. Also, if he's already in a manic-happy mood, expect random lines of poetry between the kisses.

(Zib always notices when there's lovebites or lipstick left on him and comments on it. Rocky almost never notices but !! It makes him oddly happy, even as he immediately covers/cleans up.)

Also if you go on bootlegging jobs with him, there's probably a "no PDA until certain danger has passed" rule because of uh, certain past incidents. If you two start getting touchy-feely then Freckle coughs VERY loudly and tries not to die of embarrassment.

Even when you two are in a situation where there can't be any PDA - maybe you're masc presenting, maybe you're in front of friends who don't approve or you're in a "business" meeting with some sketchy sorts - He still wants to stand very close, shoulder-to-shoulder. Rocky isn't aware how much he'll touch your shoulder, pat your head, pat your back, and so on.

Alas, he can't play his violin for you while smooching and hugging. He still likes to hum melodies to work on later. Looking at you just makes them pop into his head. That means cuddling isn't this serene quiet thing, you two are chattering or he's humming something against your skin. Oh, and he's great at remembering your favorite songs, whether they're folksy, jazz, classical - he has the range!

Since you're around him so often, you'll notice when Rocky's happy-go-lucky mask begins to slip. He'd try even harder to keep it up around you, not wanting to "scare" you off, but no one can keep that momentum up forever. You'll have to reassure him, many times, that he doesn't have to pretend around you. If he's troubled, he should tell you. It's going to take time (and probably a life threatening injury) before you get the full extent of his loneliness and fears. He's been burying it for years, after all. Slowly, he'll bring up bits of his past and his parents, but you won't get much unless he's under the influence or wounded.

It's been said before but, yes, it's obvious to anyone with a pulse how much he adores you. Some people he knows don't even know you're name because he always refers to you as his angel from on high, his auspicious muse, his grandest sweetheart, his Helen of Troy, so on and so forth. It's just. endless. If you're a more high-class sort of person, and/or someone whose very level-headed or serious, they don't hide their surprise to learn you two are together. There might be blunt questions, like what do you see in him. He won't admit it, but those inquiries do hurt Rocky's feelings, albeit he laughs it off. He's quite happy if you stick up for him and express that you're very happy with him, thank you very much.

So, yes. You have this particular bootlegging music-playing poetry-reciting man around your finger. Treat him well and don't let him go off and do stupid things for your sake. If you asked anything of Rocky, he'd do it in a heartbeat, but that sort of intense devotion isn't always in his interest. Maybe that devotion gets a little obsessive, especially on his insecure days. A more steady and mature partner would help pump the breaks on that, while someone more on his wavelength would uh .... Well, it'd be absolutely chaotic, but at least it'd be fun?

#i tried not to repeat myself but oops LOOK #he is a LOVE BUG okay please give him attention 😭 #rocky rickaby x reader #lackadaisy x reader

[yumeurl]

ive started marking passages whenever theres a drarry (aka any sort of interaction or harry observing draco) moments and i think i deserve compensation for my work bc harry would not Shut The Fuck Up abt this boy the minute he enters hogwarts jesus christ, im gonna run out of my first batch of sticky tabs

something is happening? i now have to know dracos reaction about it. doesnt matter if hes doing the loud theatrics over his table(WHICH IS FAR AWAY FROM GRYFFINDORS) or just reacting by himself, harry will Make the readers know what it is no matter what. like seriously do i really have to know that pansy was worrying over dracos injury and that when she looks away draco is winking over crabbe and goyle?? harry please focus on ur potions

also started to realize that ron reacts more violently whenever draco is talking as opposed to harry, which is pretty wild to me cuz harry Is capable of feeling hatred, he doesnt shy away from hating snape in his mind and being snippy about it, but draco being an annoying little prat gets like Maybe a small flicker of annoyance. he seems to be more busy trying not to look embarrassing in front of him for some reason (the first dementor incident, when he received his valentine letter and sees draco in the audience, not wanting to go to hospital wing like boy who cares what draco will think???? my god)

#meta speaking ik its a #'oh what is this evil antagonist doing' thing #but if i just read it normally id think harry is a kid with weird fucking priorities #i dont need to know this much details abt ur petty bully thanks #yumes hp reads #drarry

[randyisrad]

hello shuake nation . i'm here to deliver my goro bpd essay that i promise like 2 months ago .

1) fear of abandonment/drastic efforts to avoid abandonment

I'D LIKE TO START THIS ONE OFF BY . showing examples of him being abandoned. Shido leaving him and his mother before he was born, and it's implied that his mom talked about it like. all the time (also not great for small child !) his mom attempting suicide , and goro being passed between foster homes.

goro goes to the most extreme lengths to prevent being abandoned again . creating an entirely different version of himself to get people to like him, assassinating people at shido's command so he won't toss him aside , and (this one might be a little bit of a stretch) murdering akira . this boy does nawt like being abandoned ! ! !

2) unstable relationships, often switching between idealized and devualued

do i even . need to explain this one . (im going to anyway)

goro's relationship with akira is SO unstable . he cares about him so much and that . really scares him , but hes so unbelievably jealous of him and feels that akiras "better than him" and thinks he pities him so he hates him . he praises him one minute and even if he hates it he genuinely means it , but internally he's terrified of akira looking down at him so he has such an anger towards him . akira is 100% his favorite person and he doesn’t know how to process that so he lashes out . i dont know how to put everything into words but im keeping this one shorter cuz its pretty self explanatory and if i got the chance i would not shut UP about it so

3) unstable identity and sense of self

he literally has 2 personas . one crafted out of lies and images of who he wishes he was, and the other crafted out of the hatred he holds . thats unstable as hell

4) impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are self destructive

went to his dad when he was 16 telling him abt his persona so he could get close enough to ruin him , constantly carrying out hits for shido to get close enough to ruin him , turning himself psychotic with his personas power . the list goes on

5) frequent suicidal ideology/behavior

goro turned himself psychotic , was fully prepared to be killed by the phantom thieves as long as they died with him, had no plan for what would happen after he murdered shido, fully accepted his death in maruki’s reality , etc .

6) emotional instability

he tries to keep a calm demeanor , but due to being neglected in his childhood , goro has no emotional maturity . he’s constantly lashing out , specifically at akira and the other thieves . he has a meltdown in front of them despite being deathly afraid of being vulnerable , and he has a habit of blaming every issue on akira like it’s his fault . this one is also a little bit of a reach , but he shows a bit of his true personality to akira after their rank 8 battle , and tells him he hates him . it doesn’t make a lot of sense for him to tell akira this , especially if he’s trying to keep up the detective prince charade , which he goes back to shortly after this .

7) chronic feelings of emptiness

this one is hard to directly point out , because it isn’t explicitly shown in game , but it’s obvious if you read in between the lines . we don’t know a lot about his childhood besides what he says in the bathhouse , but he seems sort of apathetic and empty about his circumstances .

8) emotional outbursts

this one is really similar to the 6th diagnostic criteria , but once again -- he lashes out at akira and blames him for his situation even if it isn’t his fault , lashes out at the phantom thieves , and has a meltdown in front of them . but i’d specifically like to mention the scene in his bossfight when his charade flickers , and loki is seen for a brief moment . he wasn’t trying to summon loki , but he’s so emotional that he comes out anyway .

9) stress ideation and severe dissociative symptoms

i can’t specifically think of any examples for this but . it’s real in my heart . trust . but if goro has ALLL of the other symptoms , it’s so very likely for him to have this one , too .

and that concludes my goro akechi bpd essay , i hope you enjoyed goro nation . :3

#goro akechi #shuake #akeshu #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5 #ren amamiya #goro akechi bpd essay #goro akechi character analysis

[sabertoothwalrus]

eep sorry if youve been asked this, but when u go abt drawing bgs for ur comics, do u look up references or use imagination, and how do u practice drawing bgs for storyboards rather than illustrations? im rlly not sure where to start, and i feel like a lot of advice focuses on rendering bgs rather than it feeling ~lived in~ or actively being used or augh not sure how to say!!

hhhh ok this is something I am also still in the process of trying to figure out, and I am not a professional storyboard artist so I will attempt to answer to the best of my ability.

when it comes to storyboards, the amount of detail bgs will have during the boards phase will depend largely on both the studio AND the specific production. some 3D shows will have a render of a commonly used room the board artists can angle around for their shots. Adventure Time boards tended to be pretty loose, while the Owl House boards are EXCEPTIONALLY clean. DTVA seems to have bgs created in a several step process, and I'm not exactly sure of the timeline, but I know they have vis dev artists that do more illustrative, conceptual drawings to get the vibe, then the board artists draw out what general angles will actually be used, then layout artists/bg designers who actually go in and DRAW those bgs and add in all the little details, and THEN the colorist comes in and...colors it. I don't think every studio distributes the work in this same way. Not every studio is going to want board artists to draw clean backgrounds, but MOST will get pissed if you refuse to draw them at all djfhgdjf

If you want some tips about adding small details, this has some really useful advice.

I don't add lighting or grayscale values to my comics unless it's important to the tone/clarity, and I think that's generally the case with boards too (at least for TV, I don't know as much about boarding for feature). Here's some advice about adding lighting.

^ here's a bg I put a little more effort into than usual. I referenced some images of thrift shops I pulled up on duck duck go, some of my own memories of thrift shops I've been to, and even went on the shiftythrifting tumblr. This was just a silly comic I knew I'd be posting on tumblr rather than a serious board, so it didn't matter to me if it was perfectly clean or not. some of the shapes are... vague. and loose. but who cares sdjhfjd I think (?) it conveys the concept that this is a thrift shop.

^ for THIS comic I wanted imply hunter crowded them in the bathroom to "talk in private" which felt like a very 16 year old thing to do + there were already some nifty references of the Noceda's bathroom. and listen I know it's not perfect. I didn't draw ANY perspective guides, did more trial and error than I probably needed to, the cabinet is WAY too high. (even in the original, why is this bathroom so spacious???? why is the toilet so far from the wall where the toilet paper is???) but even with all the mistakes, it doesn't matter! no one probably noticed while watching. you see it so briefly, and your attention is still focused on the characters.

I'd say the main thing when drawing bgs for storyboarding & comics is to focus on Perspective and Composition above all else. It's ok to be loose, but make sure you still have Clarity. Be mindful of proportion ("how big is this character in comparison to the objects around them?") and angles ("if this is a low angle, shouldn't I be seeing the ceiling/sky?") etc etc because even if you know you won't be drawing it perfectly, it helps to still have it in mind.

#art help #perspective #backgrounds #comics #storyboarding #photos

[skzswife]

Why don't you come find out?

(Lee minho x fem reader)

⚠ warnings⚠ unprotected sex (in pt 2) reader has panic attack mean Minho Dom Minho toxic ex mentions of abuse I think that it lmk if not

Your best friend since 3rd grade decided to drag you to a party after you being in your room sulking after your boyfriend of 4 years cheated on you with the girl he told you not to worry about. This is how that went

.

Gina busts through the door so hard you think it'll fly off the hinges "Get dressed noona" "for what" you say with a confused look on your face that she chuckles at "For the party we are going to so you'll stop sulking and talk to people, plus there'll be hot boyyys" she says wiggling her eyebrows "No" you deadpan pulling your covers back over your head "ughhhh girl you need to get out plus chan really misses you he hasn't seen you since Jack (your ex) and hes worried abt you" "...fine, only to make him feel better though" Gina practically tanks you out of bed by the ankles and to your closet "hmmm not this definitely not this a party not a church..AHA this will work!" She says as she pulls out a dark ruby colored mini dress with a small cutout in the chest and a slit in the thigh "oh wow didnt know we were going to a strip club." "Calm down girl its flattering and these shoes will work" she pulls out a pair of ruby red 2 inch heels "now go put these on and I'll do your makeup!" You reluctantly grab everything and get dressed she then does your makeup and you get in the car and a realization hits you "Wait!.. Chan is friends with Minho" "yeah its fine he said he probably wouldn't come anyway" " oh ok " you reply relieved you arrive and enter the building to be pulled into a bonecrushing hug by chan "Noona I missed you! I was so worried" "y-yeah chan im f-fine but I can't b-breathe" you wheeze out and he lets go quickly and you gasp for air "sorry I'm just excited to introduce you to my friends" "oh yay" you say faking excitement, Chan pulls you through a crowd to his group of friends and he starts introducing you "noona this is jisung,Felix,hyunjin,seungmin,I.N, changbin, and my other friend is missing but we'll find him later, they all excitedly shake your hand and hug you shouting his and omg you seem so cool and nice to meet yous after that you grab some water and start dancing with Gina when chan suddely grabs you and drags you over to his last friend who had just arrived and your jaw dropped it was ths one person you didn't want to see Lee Minho with that typical cocky smile "well hello kitty long time no see" you feign gagging and roll your eyes "you guys know each other?" "No chan we hate eachother." "Hate is a strong word princess" he says with fake pain on his face resulting in you walking away hoping he doesnt see your slightly red face (you hated him you really did didnt you? You wanted to but your heart betrayed you every time he was close god those perfect features made it so hard to hate him)

You spent a while dancing with Gina when you feel a hand on your shoulder and Gina gives you a look before walking away not knowing she was leaving you with someone from your past so bad you couldnt even bring yourself to tell her. You spin around and the blood drains from your face "R-rick?" The man smiles ominously "hey angel you look like you've seen a ghost whats wrong sweet cheeks?" You cant even speak and you just mutter "I- you-how-why.."

"Jeez miss me that much my sweet thing?" He chuckles as he raises a hand causing you to flinch and try to back away "Where do you think your going darling!?" He seethes as he grabs your wrist tight enough to make you since you speak in a quiet tone not wanting to cause a scene "p-please let me go I didnt do anything" "I know honey" he say as he caresses your cheek with his free hand and you try to pull away causing his grip to tighten "o-ow!" "Shut up and nothing will happen ok?" From across the room you see chan and Gina talking not realizing whats happening "I'll be quiet pmease just let me go your hurting me" "stop being dramtic unless you actually want me to hurt you y/n." He leans down to whisper something in your ear and smirks at you while letting go. You start hyperventilating and sobbing silently and start to have a panic attack and then in the blink of an eye Rick is on the floor with someone straddling him punching him relentlessly the person blurred by your tears says in between punches "when*punch* someone says * it hurts * you let * go if she says * let go * you let * go. Understood?" Rick nods desperately "y-yes I do" "good" then ths man suddenly pulls you into an embrace stroking your hair telling you its alright and you find yourself relaxing and then you realize who it is when chan comes over and yells "MINHO WHAT THE HELL YOU CANT JUST PUNCH PEOPLE UNTIL THEYRE BLEEDING FOR NO REASON!!" minho quietly replies because he doesnt want to stress you out more "no reason? Are you fucking serious right now chan? I was protecting YOUR friend from him because he was hurting her and weren't even paying attention and stop yelling right now your just going to make it worse." Chans angry expression drops immediately and he looks at you stepping toward you "did he hurt you Y/n? I'm sorry I should have paid attention to you are you okay?" As chan steps closer you look at him with red puffy eyes from crying and nuzzle farther into minhos chest "No chan im not okay. You promised me you would always be there to protect me and...you werent. Please leave me alone" "o-ok" chan replies stepping back as gina steps forward you step back behind lee know he puts an arm out signaling for her to stop but she just scoffs "dont tell me to stop shes my best friend I need to be there for her." Minho stands firm in between you and her "but you werent there for her that's my point she needed you and you werent there" you tug at his shirt signaling him to come down so you could whisper in his ear "I wanna leave" he nods and grabs your hand leading you through the crowd "We are leaving" he says as you exit and climb into his car the drive is silent but as you pull up you invite him in and he accepts you entwr your apartment and head to the couch as you sit he lays his head on your thighs blushing which makes you giggles "what's so funny L/N?" You blush at him calling you by your last name "nothing your just blushing and I thought it was cute" it takes him a bit to process and when he does it only takes a few seconds for your lips to be connected in a sloppy but passionate kiss teeth clashing but still hungry for more you climb onto his lap and start to grind earning a grunt from him that only riles you up more but he breaks the kiss "we shouldnt do this" "I dont care about the consequences I wanr you as much as I want to hate you I can't" you kiss him again this time with more lust behind it as you fumble to take your dress off breaking the kiss to do so you blush as he admires your chest as if its the most beautiful thing he's ever seen (to him it was) he stares wide eyed before he kisses you again and you melt into it tugging at his shirt desperately trying to get it off earning a chuckle from him "need help kitten?" You grumble as he breaks the kiss to take it off and now its your turn to stare 'i mean you always knew he was fit but DAMN' you think as you trace the ridges and valleys of his abs when something catches your eye.. A small scar on his stomach...

Taglist

@feybin @hhhyunjinnnn @bristidutta

Red means it wont let me tag you(check privacy setting)

#skz smut #stray kids fic #stray kids imagine #skz #stray kids x female reader #lee know smut #stray kids hard thoughts

[conniesanchor]

just a bad day

warnings: anxiety, fluff, that's abt it.

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you've been fidgeting all day and can't catch a break. when conrad gets home from his day job he makes it his problem to help you.

you were mindlessly tapping your finger against the dinner table, and bouncing your leg under it. everything was bothering you, whether it was jeremiah accidentally kicking you under the table, or belly's breathing that was too loud for your own good. you were seconds away from snapping when you heard the front door open. conrad.

conrad was really the only one who was able to help you when you got like this. no matter what was happening, he was always there to calm you down. he wouldn't leave you alone until you were okay, or at least not as anxious.

you weren't even hungry, sitting there messing around with your food. as conrad sat down next to you, susannah noticed your fidgeting. "y/n, are you okay?" this earned a look from conrad, his eyes filled with worry.

"oh, yeah. everything's fine, just not really hungry. i think ill just save this for tomorrow." you lied, standing up and placing your leftovers in the fridge. "im actually really tired, so im just gonna head up to bed." you could feel conrad's gaze on you as you excused yourself from the kitchen.

☆☆☆

after about twenty minutes, you heard footsteps coming up the stairs. you had changed into clothes that were more comfy. that consisting of, a pair of sweatpants and a small tank top. you heard a knock on you door. no, tapping. that meant it was conrad.

you tried to shake every look of distress off of you before you opened the door. you knew it was useless, he could read you like a children's book. you finally reached the door, your hand shaking as you reached for the doorknob.

opening the door, you were met with a very worried conrad. "hey." you smiled, backing up so he could get through the door. you closed it as soon as his entire body was through the door.

"hey." he spoke, as you sat down on your bed. "what's wrong?" he questioned, not missing the way your leg was bouncing up in down, or the way he could hear your heartbeat.

him being here only made everything worse. you hated the control he had over you. the whole room felt like it was collapsing in on itself. you could barely breathe. "nothing, i just don't feel good." you lied.

"love, i know you better than that. even if you don't want to admit it. the way you looked at the table, and the way you look now. there's something wrong, i know there is." the way conrad mentioned every detail caused tears to well in the back of your eyes. he also seemed to notice this, taking a seat on the bed next to you.

he pulled you into his arms, "y/n, relax. you're alright. i just need to know what's happening so i can help you." the blue-eyed boy told you, stroking your hair.

you pulled away from him, wiping the tears that were still on your face. "i just- i can't breathe." you told him. you felt like you were dying.

"shh, you're okay. it's okay. just relax, in and out angel. in and out." he reminded, placing your palm on his chest.

it took quite a while before your breathing became even. "thank you." you mumbled, leaning back against the headboard.

conrad followed, moving to your left side. "talk to me, what happened?" he whispered.

"i don't know. i really don't know, it's just a bad day i guess. everything's setting me off." you told him, trying not to completely fall apart.

"okay." conrad accepted your answer, "do you wanna be alone? or i can draw you a bath?" he tried to help.

"no. no, i just want you to stay here." you requested. he gladly accepted, pulling the blankets over the two of you. you leaned into his chest, lying your head down.

"y/n/n?" he mumbled, looking down at you.

"yes?"

"ive been meaning to say this all summer. i just couldn't quite find the words, i- uh." he breathed, and you could hear his heart racing. "i really, really like you. i know this is a bad time to say this but i couldn't hold it in longer. i just-"

"connie, shut up." you whispered lifting your head up to kiss him. he practically threw the blanlet off of the two of you. conrad placed each of his hands on each side of your waist, lifting you up to his lap. you put a leg on either side of him, neither of your lips wanting to leave the others.

he pulled apart only for a split second, "will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, and the second he got a breathless 'yes.' his lips were back onto yours.

the night ended a hell of a lot better than it started.

☆☆☆

#conrad fisher fluff #imagines #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher #tsitp #fluff

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

how are you able to celebrate spirituality without feeling omniscient judgement of your every action? i realize that sounds like an accusatory question out the door LOL but i definitely don't mean it that way. it's moreso like...i spent so much of my life until recently feeling like i wasn't allowed to enjoy or be myself in my own privacy without feeling like i was being watched and weighed. i don't actively practice or pursue spirituality at this time, but i was raised into some incredibly unhealthy christian dynamics, which i think can definitely find relation in my prior mentioned struggles. even so, when it feels healthy and of your own volition, do you feel as though this is a struggle?

i love this thoughtful question, thankyou..putting under read more due to my lengthy answer x]

for me, ive mentioned before but i was raised by atheist parents. so as i built my own opinions about god, i was never set on the heaven/hell dichotomy, i never felt that god has this weirdly specific list of things u can and cant do. i feel that god wants us to be imperfect & make mistakes so that our souls can grow n expand towards our highest purpose thru many lifetimes of lessons.

that feeling of surveillance, i actually started to worry about it a lot after my dad died, even tho i had no real concept of spirituality at this point cus i was a kid. I just like, started to perceive that he saw everything, and since i was being rebellious teen at the time i felt a lot of guilt for years. Altho once i started learning more i began to feel that angels will never judge you, only love & understand.

Still i try rly hard to live with integrity. and im no angel but i strive to be the best version of Me. & a big part of that, imo, is acting "right" behind closed doors. for example, if someone is talking badly to me about a friend behind their back, am i going to stand up for them? or just let it slide because they're not there to hear it? small things like this may seem like nothing in the moment but they cld blow up in ur face later n u wish u just did the kind thing. i believe small lessons like this will keep repeating until ur soul learns.

one time many years ago i withdrew like $100 from an atm then just totally spaced out & walked away before i grabbed my money. the next person ran after me like "oh my god you forgot your money!" , i was so stunned. like this stranger fully couldve just walked away with a free $100 & i wldnt of even noticed until later. there was no prize waiting for them by doing the right thing. he just did it w no apprehension.

it shldnt be about trying to appease god, but earnestly trying to help & empower your fellow man. not out of guilt or shame, or fear of punishment, but out of the kindness in your heart, pure love. to me, god is just love, the trials are for the purpose of love, so i dont stress too much abt feeling watched. it makes me feel less lonely in a way.

thanks again for the question and i'm sorry about the trauma from your upbringing :( i hope u can heal and please dont put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, there is no punishment coming for you, whatever you're doing right now is exactly where you;re supposed to be. <3