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zepskies · 8 months

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Strong as Blood - Part 2

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out?

(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)

AN: Did you like Part 1? Well, here's Part 2! This two-part fic can be read as stand-alone, but it’s really a bonus sequel to Break Me Down!

(Also, for those of you in the medical field…try to suspend your disbelief on this one. 😅)

Word Count: 6,200

Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff overload.

To find the chronological reading order for the series, check out the series masterlist. ⤵️

💚 Break Me Down

Part 2: “One Year, Forty, and a Hundred”

About a week later, you and Ben told your family the good news.

Your mom, Marie, took Ben’s face in her hands and pressed a delighted motherly kiss on his cheek, and then his forehead.

He very narrowly tolerated it with his usual gruffness, but you knew better. You saw the fond glint well hidden in his eyes, even after Marie released him.

It hadn’t taken her long after meeting Ben to start treating him like a son; always asking about his missions with Supe Affairs, praising a job well done when he had a successful report, and offering a supportive word even when they didn’t quite go his way.

Ben maintained his usual stoic bravado, but you knew he secretly ate up the praise, along with Marie’s genuine, nurturing nature.

Every time you saw your mother, she would give you baked goods in tupperware—for both of you, she claimed. But you noticed they were most often his favorites. You had a feeling she’d won him over early on with her macadamia nut brownies. (She still couldn’t cook worth a damn either, but she’d been taking a baking class.)

So Ben continued to help her do the dishes, even though she insisted he was a guest in her home. He claimed he was doing it so you wouldn’t jump in yourself.

And now we’re family, you had pointed out. Then Ben gifted you with one of those smiles, subtle and pleased, just for you.

You felt somewhat lazy, just sitting at the kitchen table with your sister Luisa. She sat close to you with her arm looped around yours, and she rubbed your lower back, which you now realized had been aching more often. For God’s sake, you hadn’t even realized you were late on your period.

I need to take some time off work, even before this kid gets here, you mused.

Realistically though, you should’ve expected this might happen. You hadn’t ever gotten around to replacing your IUD after you’d gotten it removed a few months ago. And God knew, Ben didn’t know how to pull out. (And he certainly didn’t buy condoms.)

“What’re you hoping for, a boy or a girl?” Louisa asked you and Ben, disrupting the path of your thoughts. You turned to your sister thoughtfully.

She still had her reservations about him, but she seemed to be warming up to your boyfriend a bit more after you told her the news. Especially after Ben had explained one of his plans over dinner.

His first thought was to hire Frank and Loco back as your personal security throughout your pregnancy, and likely even afterwards.

It was a rare time when you didn’t argue with him; the idea made sense, especially if you were going to continue working in Surveillance at Supe Affairs until you went on maternity leave. And, it would just be great to see them again. Frank had already agreed to start on Monday, after giving his polite congratulations.

(You and Ben each got a package in the mail yesterday: a box of bonafide Cuban cigars for him, a maternity body pillow for you, and a hand-crafted toy box for the baby. Inside had been a white noise sound machine to help the baby sleep.)

But now, Ben brightened at Louisa’s question. He crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen counter.

“A son,” he replied. How brow rose, as if the answer was obvious. “I’ll be able to bring him up right. Strong. Not like these beanie-wearing pantywaists running the fucking Starbucks.”

“Ben,” you warned. He crossed his arms at you, quite literally standing firm on his stance. But your mother just smiled and pat his arm.

“It’s okay, honey,” she said. “I understand what you mean.”

You raised an incredulous brow.

Oh sure, you thought. She didn’t mind salty language when it was Ben, but God forbid you or Luisa bang a toe in your mother’s presence. Nor did it surprise you that she was agreeing with him.

But then Marie turned to him more earnestly.

“The way you take care of my daughter, I have no doubt you’ll make an excellent father,” she told him.

Ben treated her with a charming smile that showed touches of warmth.

Damn, you thought, as you felt the telltale burn of tears in your eyes. But it wasn’t just about what Marie had said. You had hoped for this one day, but it seemed he was finally making room for your family in his heart too.

“Football. A man’s game,” Ben continued. “I’ll teach him, take him fishing. Everything my old man didn’t bother with, I’ll do it all. Bring him up right…”

As your boyfriend chatted away with your mom, you hid a tendril of worry. You wondered what would happen if the baby turned out to be a girl.

With a glance at your sister, her subtle, raised brows told you she was thinking along the same lines. You sighed and got up; once again, it was time to pee.

Louisa followed you into the hall and laid a hand on your back.

“Hey,” she said. “You know how much I care about you, right?”

“And where’s this going?” you quipped. But you turned around and gave your little sister a half-smile. You knew what she was about to say.

“So what are you going to do about that?” she asked, gesturing to your man in the kitchen. “Mr. Macho wants his prized stud. What happens if he doesn’t get him?”

You sighed. “Ben’s wanted this for a long time. He’s got an idea in his head of what it’s going to be like, and…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Louisa’s lips pursed, like she wasn’t quite satisfied with that answer.

“And what about you?” she asked. “How do you feel about this?”

You blinked back at her in slight surprise, but then your expression melted into a soft smile.

“I’m happy, Lou,” you said. Tears welled up in your eyes, yet again. “I’m really happy.”

Louisa relented then, squeezing your hand. “Good…then good. I’m happy for you too.”

And that was really all you wanted.

“What? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Ben said, peering harder at the ultrasound. The kind OBGYN faltered, though she again tried to point out that what he was looking at was actually a small foot.

“Congratulations,” she told you both. “She’s the right size for twelve weeks of development. And look there, you can even see the umbilical cord—”

“You sure this thing isn’t on the fritz?” Ben asked, bumping the ultrasound monitor with his hand.

“Ben.” You looked over at him with a glare. “Are you serious right now?”

He looked back over at you, and you saw his stubbornness in his frown and knitted brows.

“I’m just saying—” he started, but you didn’t let him get that far.

“You heard the freakin’ doctor. We’re having a girl,” you snapped. “I’m the one who has the transvaginal probe shoved up inside me, so shut the fuck up!”

Ben’s jaw worked as he barely held himself from barking back at you. It wouldn’t be the first time you levied your smart mouth at him, but it wasn’t often that you disrespected him.

“Excuse me?” he still groused.

His anger got waylaid though. He watched you heave a sigh and blink quickly, so you wouldn’t release the well of frustrated tears building behind your eyes.

The doctor looked between you both warily. You turned to her with watery eyes, and you sniffed to keep your emotions at bay.

“Continue, please.”

When the appointment with the OBGYN was done, you didn’t let Ben help you down from the examining table. Nor did you let him touch you, all the way to the car.

An hour later, you both made it back to the apartment you shared in Scarsdale. You stomped up the stairs ahead of him and beelined into the bedroom. You had half a mind to slam the door in his face, but you didn’t have the energy to be that petty.

Frankly, you were exhausted with a tinge of nausea. But you didn’t know if that was pregnancy sickness, or if you were just that anxious.

You sat down on your side of the bed, and you sighed when you heard Ben’s heavy footsteps enter in behind you.

“All right, that could’ve gone better,” he said. “But look at it from my point of view—”

That nearly unhinged you. Your stomach roiled, but you got to your feet and turned around to face him where he stood by the foot of the bed, arms crossed.

“It’s not all about you,” you shot back. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’m the one carrying this baby. I’m not just a human incubator.”

“I fucking know that,” he retorted, but you raised a hand to silence him.

“And you’re not the only one who’s wanted this,” you said. Against your will, your eyes once again burned with tears as you held yourself. “You know very well what I’ve…that I didn’t have a normal family growing up.”

Ben quieted. His irritation softened around the edges, especially as your voice trembled.

“Don’t you know what it’s going to mean to me to give our child what I didn’t have?” you asked. “Stability, support, and…and love, from both parents?”

Tears slipped down your cheeks. And when he didn’t seem to have anything to say to you, you shook your head and walked away.

Ben let out a heavy breath. He followed you and stopped you in the living room. “Listen—”

“No, you listen,” you snapped, whirling around on him. “I would’ve been content no matter if it was a boy or a girl, and you ruined that today. You really did.”

His gaze briefly fell to the floor, before it met yours again.

“But even with that, I’m still happy,” you said, as your vision became blurry and wet. “I’m so damn happy…and so scared.”

When you finally broke down crying, Ben got a full picture of just how badly he’d fucked this up. He collected you in his arms and guided you to sit with him on the couch. There he held you as you clung to him and wept into his neck.

The longer it went on, the more he felt like an asshole—with the kind of uncomfortable, gut-churning remorse that only you tended to draw from him.

Ben hesitated, but he knew you deserved to hear him say it. (And you probably wouldn’t let this go until he did.)

“Okay, sweetheart, calm down,” he rumbled in your ear. Along with, "…I’m sorry."

The weight of that fell between you for a moment. You nodded, with a sniff, and he slowly rubbed your back.

“You don’t need to be scared,” he said. “My blood’s making you nice and strong.”

Well, technically it was the baby’s blood, and the super genes they held. You shook your head against his neck.

“That’s not it,” you said. “I mean, that’s part of it, I guess. Dr. Baker didn’t do a great job of reassuring me, but she did say that if the strength lasts throughout the birth, she didn’t expect serious complications.”

Fuck. Ben’s hand tightened in your hair. That...was a thought he hadn't considered. It now made his stomach clench, though he remained silent.

He wished you would’ve taken him with you to see Dr. Baker, but he guessed he couldn’t begrudge you for your worries. He knew he'd be having his own talk with the good doctor soon enough.

“I love my mom. She did her best, you know? But I…I’ve had to take care of myself for most of my life,” you explained, with a hand fisted tight in his shirt. “What the hell do I know about being a mom?”

Ben considered that with a frown. He pulled back enough to see your face, tucking his curled fingers beneath your chin so you’d look at him.

“You looked after your sister, didn’t you?” he reminded. “Made sure she was safe, and grew up right. Now you take care of me, like I take care of you… And you got no problem calling me out on my bullshit.”

That got a slight smile out of you. He brushed away another one of your tears with his thumb.

“You’re gonna be great, sweetheart. I never had any doubts about that,” he said, “The truth is, I couldn’t wait to fuck you raw to make this happen.”

You spluttered a laugh then, even though you were still weeping.

“Yeah, I know,” you said with a wry smile, stroking his bearded cheek. You leaned up and kissed the other cheek. He turned his head and went for your lips. The kiss was slow and tender while he held you where you always felt safe.

Ben grasped the hand on his cheek…and an idea flickered through his mind.

He parted from you, only to say, “Wait here.”

Your brows furrowed, and you blinked through wet lashes. “What?”

“Just stay put for me,” he said.

But he didn’t tell you what he was up to as he left you on the couch to duck into the bedroom. You took the time to wipe at your eyes and take some deep, calming breaths.

Ben came back soon after, seemingly empty-handed as he sat down next to you. You gave him a curious look.

He slipped a hand into his pocket. “Just for the record, I’ve had this for a while.”

And he pulled a black velvet box out of his pocket. You let out a shaky breath of surprise. The ring he pulled out wasn’t a flashy, gaudy thing like you half-expected. It actually looked delicate, and vintage, pale gold with filigree around the hexagonal stone. It glittered, even in the dim lamplight.

“Where’d you find that?” you asked. But somehow, looking into his eyes, you knew what this was.

“Besides those old pictures, the only thing I’ve got left of my mother is right here,” he said, holding up the ring for you. More burgeoning tears fell down your cheeks as your heart constricted.

“Marry me,” he said, rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand.

Despite yourself, a smile raised the corner of your mouth. “Hmm, I don’t know. Is that a question?”

Ben released a breath. Reluctantly, he smirked.

“Fucking figures that you’d make this difficult,” he said.

“You’re the one who fumbled at the goal line, Romeo,” you replied cheekily.

You then gestured at the ground in front of you. He raised a brow.

But, he obliged your demands, making a show of sliding from the couch, down to the ground. He parted your jean-clad knees so he could move in between them. He knelt one knee on the hard wood, and once again took your hand.

Ben somehow hesitated on the question, even though you both were hanging on his words. With your free hand, you smoothed his hair away from his eyes, subtly encouraging him.

“If I had to go back, do it all over again,” he said, “I wouldn’t have done a damn thing different.”

You frowned at him. “Really?”

“That’s right,” he said. “Because I’m right where I want to be.”

You teared up all over again when you realized what he was really saying. You laid a hand on his chest, where his fiercest power resided. He squeezed the hand he held.

“So what’s it gonna be, sweetheart. Will you marry me?” Ben asked. His smirk was almost boyish, despite his age. And yet, it was so very him.

You reached out with your free hand and slid your fingers through his hair, resting it at the back of his neck.

“Yeah,” you agreed, with a beaming smile. “Let’s do it.”

He slipped the ring on your finger, where it fit well. And it was now the most beautiful thing you owned, not only for its shining beauty.

You pulled him in for a kiss. His hands burned up your thighs, squeezing your hips. But again, he hesitated. His lips pulled away from yours as his hand moved to brush your belly. It was already brimming with life. He’d seen the images, heard the heartbeat.

“Thank you,” Ben said. His voice was deep and gruff.

You smiled. With a nod, you held him to you, laying a sweet path of kisses from his cheek, down to his neck.

“I love you,” you said.

He just nodded in response. His throat was tight at the moment. But you wouldn’t let him get off that easy.

“Say it,” you jostled him in your arms. “I’m only growing a super melon for you.”

It earned you an amused look from him.

“I love you too,” he said. His voice was a bit coarse, and laden with rare emotion. You pulled him into a stronger hug, which soon became him dragging you into his lap when he raised himself up onto to the couch. You took his face in your hands.

“See? We made it here,” you teased. You knew he remembered the conversation you two had a few months ago, about waiting a little while to take this next step in your relationship. To have a family.

“Soon. Not someday,” he’d told you. And you’d agreed.

You reminded him of it now while you stroked his face. “I promised you, didn’t I?”

He snorted at that. “You sure took your fucking time with that one, huh?”

“Excuse me?” you retorted.

Ben pulled you into a kiss before you could truly get going. Arguing with him was one of the things you did best.

But what you two ended up doing on the couch was second to none.

A few months later…

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ben said. His tone was edged, his brows crunching. “What kind of development?”

You curled a hand around his wrist, shooting him a calming look before you returned your attention to Dr. Baker.

“What do you mean, Tonya?” you asked. Your other hand continued to rest over your belly.

At the seven-month mark of your pregnancy, you felt like you were beginning to resemble a parade float as you sat on the medical examining table in the doctor’s office. But you were grateful for Ben’s warm hand spanning the small of your back. It gave you stability as a coil of anxiety began to bloom in your chest.

Dr. Baker reviewed her charts once more. You didn’t like that gleam of scientific interest in her eye while she perused the data, then looked up at you and Ben from her narrow-framed glasses.

“Not with the baby. She’s doing very well,” she said.

That gave you a measure of immense relief.

“The development concerns you,” she clarified, meeting your gaze. “As you know, we’ve been monitoring you very closely.”

You nodded. The weekly checkups and monthly blood panels served to both soothe and increase your anxiety, but you knew that it made Ben feel better, that you were being taken care of in this aspect of your pregnancy.

To government knowledge, no one other than Becca Butcher had ever gone through a pregnancy of this nature. And Homelander had been created in a lab. This was breaking somewhat new ground (which was only in the top five of “things that made you nervous.”)

“I found something…interesting in your bloodwork,” said Dr. Baker. She pulled out two charts from her files and clipped them onto her whiteboard for you and Ben to see. They looked virtually the same, with one graph’s red bars slightly lower than the first.

“What’s that?” Ben asked.

“It’s your wife’s cell regeneration levels,” the doctor replied, pointing to the second graph. “Hers have become almost as high as yours.”

She pointed to the first graph for comparison. You leaned in closer to see as your eyes widened. With the weight of your belly making you off balance, you nearly slid off the examining table. Ben noticed and caught you quick. His arms came around you, though as the news donned on him, his face slid into shock.

“What?” he uttered.

“That’s got to be because of the baby,” you reasoned. “Is it…just temporary? Like the super strength.”

Even that was somewhat intermittent. Some days, you felt your aches and pains and experienced morning sickness and food aversions, like any other pregnant woman. On others, you were able to lift one side of the couch one-handed and vacuum up the dust bunnies underneath it.

“I believe that blood transfusion, as well as your pregnancy greatly accelerated the effects, but no, this isn’t an isolated incident.” Dr. Baker shook her head. “Your DNA has mutated.”

“Are you serious?” you nearly choked out. She nodded. Dr. Baker never joked.

“By my calculations, this process started before you conceived. Over the course of the past year, or more,” she explained. “Do you understand what this means?”

“Y-Yes, I think so,” you said. Your hand squeezed over Ben’s; it was the hand that carried the weight of your gold wedding bands. A lump of emotion rose in your throat. “It means…I’m going to heal from injuries quicker than normal. And…I’m not going to age like a normal person.”

“That’s likely correct,” she replied.

That news fell in the room like a stone. You shared a wide-eyed look with Ben. Neither of you knew quite what to think just yet. Even though he was trying to maintain an even-keel expression, you could see his eyes were beginning to brighten with hope. Yours were too…though you were still confused.

“How the hell is this possible?” you asked. “I mean, Ben gave me his blood for a transfusion. But like you said, that was one time, two years ago now. And you said the pregnancy accelerated this, but that’s not how it started…”

Dr. Baker actually smiled. You didn’t like the wry turn of her lips. She crossed her legs where she sat at her desk and tapped her clipboard with her pen.

“How often would you say you two have sex?” she asked.

That was certainly not where you thought this conversation was going. You couldn’t help but blush.

“How is that even remotely relevant?” you asked.

You glanced at your husband, who merely gave you one of his smug smirks, while his thumb stroked your side. Fucking typical.

“Once a week?” the doctor prompted.

Your face heated up further, and you had to cover your mouth with a hand. Your sex life wasn’t quite as…vivacious as it had been since before you’d gotten pregnant, but it was still a good one, even with your growing size. Ben was nothing if not creative.

And you were still newlyweds, after all.

“Assume we’re doing a healthy amount of fucking, doc,” Ben remarked.

You gasped and hit his thigh, and finally covered your whole face in thorough embarrassment. He just smirked and took your hand so you couldn’t hide. It amused him that you still got like this.

He then pressed a kiss to the back of your fingers.

You sighed and held his hand back. I chose this man. Remember that.

“Again, what does that have to with this?” you asked, your voice a bit higher.

Dr. Baker’s lips flickered at another one of those smiles. “Well, how often did you use condoms over the past two years?”

You and Ben both snorted in response.

“He’s morally opposed to them, doctor,” you said dryly.

She nodded. “I assumed as much.”

Once again, Ben smirked, but Dr. Baker plowed ahead.

“Let me explain it this way,” she said. “Think of how HIV spreads sexually. The infected DNA is transmitted, and it eventually hits the partner’s bloodstream, affecting the entire body. What we have here is a similar case…if for the fact that this was a gradual effect, over the course of several months.”

Ben blinked, and a frown also tugged down his brows.

“Are you saying that I gave her my superpowers…like an STD?” he asked.

Your eyes became as wide as saucers.

Holy shit! you thought, and another one occurred to you. If this all started from the first time you and Ben ever had sex…then that was over two years of being dosed with literal super sperm.

“Not quite,” Dr. Baker said to him. “Just the essence of what sets your DNA apart, even from other supes.”

“Right. Because how the hell hasn’t this happened to anyone else who’s normal?” you asked. “What makes Ben different?”

Dr. Baker finally set down her pen. She folded her hands in her lap to address you with a patience that you didn’t often see from her.

“Remember, the serum he received was still a prototype,” she said. “Vought continued to refine the recipe after the ‘Soldier Boy’ project was successful. For example, the way his cells regenerate is one of those factors that needed to be weeded out, if Compound V was to be a successful product in the long-term.”

You nodded slowly, as that made sense to you. If every supe suddenly lived over a hundred years, it would make it pretty hard to secretly inject that shit into newborns. They had to package it in a more insidious way.

“This is an unpredictable outcome of your exposure to his unique genetic makeup,” Dr. Baker continued, “and there may very well be more to come in the future.”

You weren’t sure how to take that potentially foreboding news, but on the other hand…

“Oh my God! I’m going to live to be a hundred,” you said, holding tighter onto Ben as shock began to make you tremble. His grip was firm and steadying in response. And yet, his face betrayed how he was trying to process this as well.

“Likely much longer than that,” Dr. Baker said, shocking you even further. And she reminded, “Your cells aren’t regenerating at quite the same rate as his…but it is close.”

Again, holy fucking shit.

You let out a halting breath, and you looked up at Ben, a smile growing across your face. You reached up a hand for his bearded cheek. He looked down on you with his usual stoicism, but it was merely a front. You saw through to the true emotions shining in his eyes.

“Well, looks like you’re stuck with me, baby,” you said, even as your own eyes stung with tears. Your heart felt full to the brim, and even overflowing. If this was what it took to be with your husband, then altering your genetics was a price you were willing to pay…at least in this way.

Though you gave him a more teasing smile. “You’re not gonna be able to welch out of that ‘til death do us part thing. So cancel the caravan of blow and strippers.”

Ben chuckled deeply. He held your hand and stroked the inside of your wrist. For a moment, he just looked down at your face. It had become a bit more rounded with your pregnancy—thighs and arms (and ass) thicker too. And to him, you were still perfectly his.

“Fine by me. You’ve got something they don’t, anyway,” he said. He remembered the same words he’d said to you just a year ago, in the bed he still shared with you.

Your eyes gleamed with amusement, and so much more. You played along.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” you asked.

He smirked. “You’ve got a supe STD.”

Your eyes widened at his audacity, but you burst out laughing and hit his shoulder.

“Yeah, from you,” you quipped back. “I should’ve known you were carrying something.”

The two of you didn’t know it, but that was when Dr. Baker smiled to herself. She decided then to leave the room, giving you some privacy as Ben laughed and framed your face with his hands.

His thumbs brushed against your cheeks, catching stray tears as they fell. You bit your lip as your glassy eyes met his once more. Ben became more serious as he let out a sigh.

“It’s not gonna be easy,” he reminded you. “Your family, your friends…they’re going to change, and you’re going to stay the same.”

Your excitement dimmed as that realization hit you. Your hands clenched in his shirt, over his chest. You thought about your mom, your sister, Yvette and Devon, Annie and Hughie and the rest of the team (even Butcher, you would miss).

“Yeah…that part’s not gonna be fun,” you said with a heavy, tremulous sigh. Your heart clenched at the very thought of them growing old, leaving you behind.

But your gaze eventually drew back up to him. You wondered then, not for the first time, how it must’ve been for him. For his parents to grow old and pass on long before him. For childhood friends, old lovers…

“Do you know what I worried about when we got married?” you asked.

Ben’s hands traveled down from your face, down your arms, to finally rest at your waist and thigh. He stared back at you expectantly.

“When you first told me you loved me, you said you were holding back the truth. Because you thought that one day, you’d be alone again,” you said, stroking his chest. “That honestly broke my heart. And it made me wonder if I was selfish to be with you anyway.”

Ben frowned, but you shook your head before he could respond.

“I told myself that after the baby was born, I’d go to Dr. Baker and ask her to find a way to make this happen,” you said. Another smile grew across your face. “But guess what? We figured it out all on our own, super stud.”

Ben smiled then, huffing in amusement as he thumbed at your cheek. You couldn’t really understand the full force of his relief. It might’ve threatened to buckle him into a seat, if he had been standing.

But now, he struggled with the warmth in his chest that for once, had nothing to do with his powers. He moved in to tug you into his arms, and he let out a long breath through his nose.

You couldn’t see how his eyes closed, but you felt his lips press against your forehead. You held him close. Or as closely as you could with your belly getting in between.

You rubbed his back and rested against his chest, hearing the calming, steady sound of his heart beating under your ear.

“And at this rate, I might even live longer than you,” you teased. “After all, you got a head start. Compared to you, I’m still a hot young thing.”

Ben snorted and shook his head. “All right. Now you’re pushing it.”

You smirked into his chest.

“I’ll have to figure out where you rent those caravans.”

“For fuck’s sake,” he muttered. At the sound of your giggle, he couldn’t help but smile.

He still swatted you on the ass though.

A couple more months later…

He smelled like cigar smoke. For which you had no doubt, Ben had been puffing away with Frank and M.M. outside the hospital.

The team of doctors (led by Dr. Baker) had finally left you alone with your husband, allowing you to take your first relaxed breath of the day.

“Your mom and your sister are waiting. Blondie and the others are out there too,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “My girl’s got a whole possy of bitches.”

You assumed he meant Annie and the rest of the team.

You shot him a look, but you were careful not to disturb the sleeping newborn resting on your chest, in the crook of your arm.

“They’re my friends, babe,” you whispered. “And they’re your friends now too, you just don’t want to admit it.”

Ben didn’t acknowledge that, but he laid a hand on your shoulder as he sat down on the edge of your hospital bed.

“How’re you doin’, sweetheart?” he asked. “Got everything you need?”

He’d become even more protective, but also very sweet to you in these past several months. More so than you’d thought him capable of, but it warmed you every time, when you considered how rough, how stoic, and how damn-near emotionally repressed he was not so very long ago.

It seemed that fatherhood was beginning to soften him, even before he began. You quirked a smile at the thought, and at his question.

“Imagine pushing a super melon out of your dick. That’s how I’m doing,” you said, tired but still cheeky as ever.

He snorted a bit loudly at that, and you shushed him, as if it wasn’t your fault he was laughing. He expected nothing less from you.

“But I’m okay,” you answered his second question. “All I need right now is you.”

Ben considered you for a moment, a slightly softer smile curving his lips, and he nodded.

“All right,” he said.

Your daughter woke and began to squirm in your arms, prompting Ben to look down at the bundle wrapped in a soft pink blanket. Gently as possible, he brushed the tuft of downy brown hair on her head. His hand shook ever so slightly, touching her small cheek.

How can this little thing be mine? he wondered. His lips pressed into a firm line.

There was a thought, deep and thrumming inside him, that he didn’t deserve this. That just a couple of years ago, he had nothing to lose.

And now, his entire world was in this room. He’d never admit it, but it was a terrifying thought, for a man who’d had everything and nothing.

You unknowingly stopped the path of his thoughts when you raised a warm hand to his cheek. It earned his attention, and he grabbed your hand to keep it there.

You smiled up at Ben with weariness in your eyes. The super strength had drained out of you a few moments after the umbilical cord was cut, which had made for a less painful labor than you anticipated. But it had also been a long and uncomfortable eighteen hours.

“Wanna hold her for a while?” you asked.

The offer caught him off guard. His brows drew together, but he very carefully took his daughter from you, into his arms. Despite your temporary abilities throughout your pregnancy, he didn’t know if she already had his strength, or if it was something she’d grow into. Ben didn’t want to take any chances.

As he looked down at a small face that already had some of his features, he inhaled a faltering breath.

It was the first time you ever saw true tears in his eyes, as one managed to draw a path down his cheek. You smiled, and the pair of rings on your left hand caught the lamplight as you rested your hand on your chest.

Ben held the bundle close in the crook of his arm. One of the baby’s hands was free, and he tickled his finger in her palm. She grasped it on reflex, opening her mouth on a yawn. Despite his red and shining eyes, he smiled, especially when she reached up for a strand of his hair with small, grabby fingers.

He let her get a hold of it, smirking when she gave it a little tug. Just hours old, and his girl was already demanding his attention. He didn’t know if newborns were able to do that this early, or if it was her blood that made her special.

Either way, he knew then that she was going to be a handful. Just like you.

Ben glanced over and found you watching him with soft amusement. He looked back down at his daughter and told her the obvious.

“You know, you’re blessed to have my genes, baby girl,” he said. It elicited a knowing scoff out of you. However, his smirk softened. “But you’re also lucky as hell to have your mom.”

Ben looked back at you, and there was the predictable well of tears forming in your eyes.

“She’s the best damn woman you’re ever gonna meet,” he said.

He knew then that what he said to you before was right. If he had to go back to 1984, or even 1944, he’d do it all exactly the same.

It all worked out pretty damn well, from where he was standing.

AN: I’m not crying, you’re crying. 🥹😭

I sincerely hope you enjoyed Strong as Blood. I know I said I was going to be done with these two for a hot minute while I concentrate on Smoke Eater (Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Reader).

But now that we’re here, I have another one-shot idea I’d like to sketch out in the near future…

Would you guys want to read about their family dynamic? Maybe fast-forward a couple years to the “terrible twos” stage with their first child.

Along with some cameos from the Annie, Hughie, M.M. and the rest of the team. Maybe even Marie and Louisa, Grandpa George, and the insufferable Aunt Trina?

Let me know in the comments, or just what you thought of Part 2! 😘

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#Strong as Blood #Part 2 #soldier boy #soldier boy/ben x reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x female reader #the boys #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy x you #fluff #BMD verse #Break me down verse #zepskies writes

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sebscore · 1 year

Note

okay, but can we have a driver!reader flirting with all of the wags and sweeping them off their feet and making all of the drivers do better cuz, well driver!reader is now the standard

BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, I’M BORED

pairings: lando norris x driver!reader / luisinha barosa oliveira x driver!reader / alex albon x driver!reader / muni lily he x driver!reader

warnings: swearing. mention of being virgin. shameless flirting. return of the rumplestiltskin.

author’s note: my bestie coming through with the requests!! 🤗 I had so much fun writing this, like omg ! I hope everyone likes and let me know what you think of it!

masterlist

• • • • • • •

“Hi, there.” Y/N greeted the young woman as she entered the club bathroom.

The stranger glanced up in the mirror, surprised at the sudden greeting. “Oh, hi.” She smiled and went back to reapplying her make-up.

Y/N walked up to the sink next to her, grabbing some soap and washing her sticky hands from the alcohol that Charles had spilled on them. “I’ve never seen you here before, are you new in the city?”

The brunette carefully pulled her mascara wand away from her eyes, shyly looking at Y/N. “Uh, no, I’m just visiting for a few days.” The woman had a slight Portuguese accent to her English.

“Oh, cool,” she grinned in response, “I’m Y/N, btw.” The athlete introduced herself, confidently sticking out her freshly washed hand.

The, what she assumed, Portuguese beauty chuckled, but put her mascara wand down and shook her hand. “I’m Luisa.”

Luisa. The name sounded familiar for some reason, but she couldn’t place it and she also couldn’t recognize the woman from anywhere.

“Beautiful name,” Y/N smiled, wanting to make her at ease, “are you from Portugal, by any chance?” She leaned against the counter.

Luisa excitedly nodded her head. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

“I could tell by your accent.” She answered, softly laughing.

At her response, Luisa looked down in embarrassment. “Oh, no,” she put her hands over her face, “it’s really bad, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize! It’s sexy.” Y/N tried to make her feel better by some old-fashioned flirting.

She could see the red blush through Luisa’s small layer of foundation. “Thank you.” She put a lost stray of hair behind her ear.

“You’re welcome,” Y/N smirked, liking where this was going, “so, what do you do? You have a job? You study?”

“I’m a fashion model.” The brunette started putting her make-up back in her small pouch.

As soon as Luisa wasn’t looking at the driver, Y/N swiftly checked the woman out. “I should’ve known.” She continued flirting. “I’m a race car driver.” Y/N told her, her eyes back to Luisa’s face.

Her newfound friend nervously chuckled. “Yeah, I know.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh shit, you know me? That’s cool.” She tilted her head to the side.

“Of course I know you, you’re a really good driver.” Luisa complimented her, her ears turning red now as well.

The effect Y/N had on the woman gave her a confidence boost. “Well, thank you,” the smirk on her face wasn’t leaving any time soon, “do I know you from somewhere? I recognize your name, but I can’t seem to place it.”

Luisa nodded her head, immediately understanding where Y/N might have heard her name. “Yeah, you, uh, race against my boyfriend.”

Her eyebrows furrowed at the answer. “I race against your boyfriend? Oh my god, who?” Y/N couldn’t understand how someone as beautiful as Luisa would be the girlfriend of one of her colleagues.

“Lando.”

“Lando? Lando Rumplestiltskin Norris?” The shock that went through her body was indescribable, she just did not understand how.

Luisa burst out in laughter at the nickname, recalling her boyfriend saying something about it. “Yes, that one.”

“Are you joking? Oh my god! Yes, you are Luisa!” The memory of when she eavesdropped on Lando and Carlos at one of the drivers briefing earlier that year coming back to her.

It didn’t take too long after that for Y/N to drag the poor woman out of the bathroom in search of the McLaren driver. “Norris!”

Lando turned around upon the sound of his name being called. He was surprised to see his friend holding hands with girlfriend. “Y/N!” He hadn’t seen her since the last race weekend.

“When were you gonna introduce me to this beauty?” Her and Lando had been friends since their early karting days, so she was a bit disappointed that he hadn’t mentioned his girlfriend to her.

Lando pulled Luisa to him, separating the women’s intertwined hands. “We haven’t been together for that long,” he explained, “I was gonna introduce you two at the next GP.”

“I’m very happy for you.” Y/N smiled at Lando, who seemed to appreciate her genuine tone. “Thanks, Y/N.”

She glanced at Luisa. “He’s been a virgin for 22 years, so I’m actually really relieved to see you.” Y/N told her, resulting in a laughing Luisa and an eye-rolling Lando.

“I’ll leave you two, but if you’re getting sick of him,” the female driver pulled her business car out of her small purse, “you can always give me a call.” She handed it over to the Portuguese woman with a wink, whose cheeks burned up again.

Lando gave her a light push. “Okay, bye now!”

“Oh, it’s the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the reason I wake up every day, the-“

“The girlfriend of Alex.”

“Whatever, Albono! Boyfriends are temporary anyway.” Y/N brushed Alex’s interruption off and hugged Lily upon their arrival at the paddock.

“How are you doing, my love?” Lily asked her, swaying the athlete from side-to-side in her arms.

Y/N laughed at Alex’s annoyance, the man crossing his arms. “I’m very good now that you’re here, darling.”

“I’m here as well, you know?” The Thai-British driver announced himself again, feigning offense at his friend’s lack of greeting towards him.

Y/N simply patted his arm. “Good morning, baby!” She teased him, referencing that one time Alex accidentally showed his text to Lily in an interview.

“Oh my god, you’re never gonna believe what happened!” Y/N spoke up, intriguing the couple as they took a step closer to her.

“Like two weeks ago? I was at a club with Charles and Charlotte, and I went to the bathroom and there was this pretty girl fixing her make-up, so I started flirting with her, you know?” She explained, matter-of-factly.

“And she was blushing and shit, so I was getting pretty confident and I introduced myself and she knew who I was!” Y/N gasped, getting Lily and Alex very immersed in her story.

“And she seemed familiar as well, I just couldn’t place her, you know? And suddenly she says that I race against her boyfriend!”

Lily gasped now as well, shocked at the turn of events. “OMG! Who?”

“Lando ‘No Pubes’ Norris.” Y/N answered through gritted teeth.

The couple widened their eyes, their hands covering their mouths as their jaws dropped. “No way! You were flirting with Lando’s girlfriend? Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!” Alex cackled, holding onto Lily for support.

Y/N slapped his shoulder. “Hey! I didn’t know she was his girlfriend and she seemed to be liking it.” She defended herself.

“What did you do when you found out?” Lily asked her, trying her hardest not to start cackling like her boyfriend.

Y/N grinned at the question. “Well, I did what any sane person would do,” she started off, “I gave her my business card.”

This time, Lily couldn’t hold herself in and dissolved in laughter and the couple hilariously tried to hold on to each other.

“Why do you still use those cards? You’ve had them for years.” Alex commented, finding it funny that the woman still gave out cards.

“To give to pretty women, Albono.” At the mention of pretty women, Y/N winked at Lily.

As soon as he noticed, Alex jokingly put his arm between the two of them. “Stop stealing our girlfriends!” He exclaimed.

Y/N made an advance to leave, figuring she should get herself ready for the race with her team. “NEVER!” She yelled over her shoulder.

• • • • • • •

@fxllfaiiry

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#f1 fic #f1 fics #f1 x reader #formula 1 fic #f1 x oc #alex albon x oc #alex albon x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris x oc #f1 female driver #female f1 driver

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skalfy · 3 months

Text

A Reputation for Good Taste

Misa x Reader, ~3.5k words, part 2/?

Part 1 here

Another part! Again, deeply unproofread, so apologies for any errors.

“I’m sorry, what??” Your friend made a show of rolling over to look directly at you where you lay, bundled in her bed. “You’re telling me that Alma cheated on you, then you drove her mistress home and somehow ended up seducing her into giving you free tickets to a football match? Actually, I’m not surprised about the Alma thing, sorry, but the rest is beyond me.”

“Maya!” You blushed hard. “None of that is what I said! Well, except for the Alma thing. I did not seduce María, and please don’t call her Alma’s mistress. All I did was drive her home and probably make her uncomfortable by crying about how I’m a bad aunt. She definitely only offered the tickets because she feels bad that my girlfriend cheated on me with her. It was so obvious that she thought she needed to do something to apologise.”

“If all she felt was guilty about Alma I hardly think she would go to the lengths she did, but out of courtesy to your broken heart,” she fixed you with a look, “I won’t argue about this right now.”

“Thank you, Maya.” You mumbled, then, “I don’t even know if my heart is broken. I’m angry at Alma for doing something so stupid to both of us, but it’s really been getting worse for a while, hasn’t it?”

“Oh honey, it has, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” She lifted the covers between you. “Now come here and let me cuddle you.”

You rolled over and let her pull you against her chest, relaxing into the comfort of your friend’s arms.

“I think my heart broke a while ago, but I really wish we would talked instead of this.” She just squeezed you tighter and you drifted to sleep.

You awoke the next morning alone in Maya’s bed, the sounds of her in the kitchen with Marc, her boyfriend, faintly audible from through the closed door. Your first thought was about Alma, and whether she had bothered to say anything to you since you left the flat. You quickly found your phone and unlocked it, opening the messages app. At the top there was an unread message, but it wasn’t from Alma. You tapped it open anyway.

María: Hi, good morning! I hope you are feeling okay and that your friend is taking care of you. I talked to the club and the tickets will be no problem and no cost. I’ll give you the details later :)

María: Do you have a jersey for the game?

Maria: It’s El Clásico, you have to wear one.

You felt a blush rise as you read the first message. It was sweet, but you were also a little embarrassed to think that María knew you needed taking care of. You quickly typed out a reply.

Me: Thank you so much, you have saved my aunt reputation and Luisa’s trip! And I am okay, thank you for asking. Between my old friend and a certain new friend who has gone out of her way to do me a big favor I’m feeling better.

You wrote and deleted the last line several times before hitting send, unsure how María would take it. You didn’t have to wait long to find out, the little dots that showed she was typing popped up after just a few seconds.

María: I think your new friend would be very glad to hear that, and glad to hear she is your friend, even if the circumstances you met in were not ideal.

María: You didn’t answer my question, do you have a jersey?

There was no resisting the grin that spread on your face as you read her message.

Me: Luisa definitely has a jersey, I got her one for Christmas.

María: I didn’t ask if Luisa had one, I asked if you did ;)

Me: Hmm, I think I have an old Barça one lying around somewhere.

You figured if she worked for worked for Real Madrid she must have a healthy animosity for the rival club, and it wouldn’t hurt to have a little fun about it.

María: We will discuss that later, but I might let it slide if it’s an Alexia kit. Sounds like you are in need of something to wear on Saturday. Green or white?

Me: Green?

María: Yes, it will bring out your eyes. Good choice!

María: Meet me for coffee? I will give you the jersey. Before you ask, it doesn’t cost me, I promise :)

Your head was spinning, but somehow you didn’t really mind. You weren’t about to turn down the offer for coffee, if for no other reason than to buy María acoffee as a thank you.

Me: I’d love to. Let me know when and where, I am off work today so anytime works.

She sent a link to a cute looking coffee shop and said to meet her there at 3 before signing off to get back to some work. You were still giving your phone a bewildered smile when Maya opened the door to her room to check in on you.

“My god, please don’t tell me Alma has sent you some ridiculous make up text that has you falling back under her spell!” You looked up at her words, startled and confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the lovesick smile you were just giving your phone when I walked in.” You scoffed in response to Maya’s words, but still felt a sudden urge to keep your conversation with María to yourself until you had a better idea of what was going on.

“I’m just smiling at the death march sightseeing tour mum has the family on today. I was planning to meet up with them, but the play by play is equal parts funny and frightening.” It wasn’t really a lie, you knew your mother well enough to know that your prediction was probably true, and you really were going to meet up with them. It just wasn’t exactly what had you smiling, or the afternoon plan you were most looking forward to.

Maya looked like she might say something more, but a particularly loud clang from the kitchen had her hurrying quickly back out. Alone again, you decided it was long time to get yourself ready for the day.

Dressed and showered, you caught Maya and Marc as both were headed out the door to work. Maya had instructed you to be back for dinner with the two of them, but otherwise you had free reign and your spare key. Sipping the cup of coffee one of them had left on the counter for you, you pulled out your phone and called your mum.

A short itinerary run-down later, you had plans to meet up outside their hotel and a half day of sightseeing between you and your unexpected coffee plans. That left only one other call to make, and it was one you didn’t want hanging over your head any longer. You dialed the number and listened as it rang through three times before you heard the other end pick up. When she didn’t say anything, you spoke first.

“Alma.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” She answered, the guilt unmistakeable in her voice.

“I’m sorry, too.” You sighed. “It was a shitty thing to do, though. I didn’t deserve that.”

“You didn’t.”

“Did you want me to see? You had to have known I wouldn’t be out that late.” You couldn’t help but ask. Her silence was all the answer you needed. “Okay. I’ll stay at Maya’s another night, but can you have your things out after that?” Thankfully, she had moved in with you only a few months back when her lease ended. Almost everything was yours, and you wouldn’t have the added insult of losing your flat along with your girlfriend.

“Yeah, I’ll pack everything today. I really am sorry.” You could hear her holding back tears, and you were struck by a pang of affection and sympathy for her. As cruel as cheating on you was, the last few months had been hard for both of you, and falling out of love with her first hadn’t been particularly kind either.

“Thank you, Alma. I hope things work out for you.”

“You too. I’ll miss you.” She ended the call, and you felt the weight on your chest ease.

It had been a long morning with your family, but you were immensely happy to have spent the time with them. Mum’s heavy-handed tourguiding made everyone laugh, but she had done her research well, and you were glad for it. Even after living in Madrid for three years, you still hadn’t taken the time to see all the sights. Plus, everything was more enjoyable with Luisa dragging you along to point out the best bits. You walked double the steps, but it was worth it to be honored as the most interesting adult, and you loved any opportunity to hear more about what her latest activities and interests were.

Having arrived a few minutes early to the coffee shop, you were lost in reflection on your family’s antics when the light touch of a hand on your elbow pulled you into the present. You jumped a little at the contact, and felt the hand grip a little tighter to steady you. It only took you a moment to look up and catch the owner’s warm brown eyes. As soon as you recognized her, María tugged you forward gently into a hug, and you sunk into the contact.

“Hi.” She said, releasing you to arm’s length.

“Hi, how are you?” You responded a little breathlessly as her hands finally fell away from your arms.

“Better now.” She answered you with a smile. “Have you been here before?” You shook your head no, returning her smile. “Good. It’s my favorite and I’m glad I get to introduce you to it. Come!” She pulled the door open and gestured for you to step inside. Stepping through the entrance, you were hit immediately by the rich smell of coffee, and you paused to appreciate it. You looked over your shoulder as María entered behind you and spoke with joking reverence.

“I think I’m in love already.” She chuckled and nudged you ahead with her own shoulder.

“You haven’t even tried it yet, keep walking!”

The two of you approached the counter and greeted the barista. You inclined your head to María to order first, and after a moment’s hesitation, she requested a café con leche Before the barista could give her a total, you ordered your cortado, card already in hand to cover both. You turned to look at the woman next to you and she raised her hands in mock surrender.

“Any pastries you recommend?” You asked, still looking at her.

“Everything is good, but my favorite is probably the pear tart.” She answered, and you looked back to the barista.

“One of those too, please.” She nodded, then recited the total and let you hand her your card. After ringing you up, she retrieved your pastry and passed it over on a plate with two forks.

You followed María to a quiet corner with an empty table. She pulled out one chair before walking to the other side and sitting down.

“Can’t risk you dropping our tart.” She said with a wink when you gave her a look. You rolled your eyes, but still felt a blush as you set the plate down carefully and took your seat. Her fingertips quickly snagged the edge of the plate, sliding it to her side of the table. It didn’t exactly bother you, but with her earlier chivalry you weren’t expecting her to immediately lay claim to the shared treat. You watched as she industriously carved out a bite with one of the forks, clearly taking care to perfect the crust to filling ratio and center a perfect slice of pear on the wedge she cut. Her focus was charming, but your mouth was nearly watering waiting for your turn.

“You have to have the perfect first bite, my reputation for having good taste could be on the line here if you aren’t impressed.” She spoke as she finally lifted her fork, extending it toward you with a shy smile. There was a burst of warmth in your chest as you realized the care she had taken was for you, even if it was only to prove she made the best choice. You opened your mouth and closed your eyes, leaning forward slightly to meet her over the table. Her free hand was loosely cupped under the fork to catch any crumbs, and it brushed your chin gently as you closed your lips over the forkful of tart. You tilted your head back as María pulled the fork away, instinctively raising your own hand as well. The back of her hand was soft where your palm met it, and she let it rest against yours for a moment before pulling away. Her trailing fingers were far from your mind, however, as soon as you began to chew the bite of tart. The flavor was divine, sharp and sweet and fresh all at once, paired with a perfectly buttery-flaky-crisp crust. María let out a burst of laughter and a fist pump at the wide-eyed nod you gave her when she asked if her reputation was secure, which in turn had you covering your mouth as you tried to swallow through a growing smile.

A barista calling out your orders had María quickly standing, waving off your offer to help, and gave you a chance to sneak a second bite and collect your thoughts for a moment. You felt silly for being so charmed by María’s kindness, from her it seemed more like second nature. Her actions, while some were a little over the top, felt like they came from a combination of genuine thoughtfulness and her desire to make you laugh. It struck you after a second, you felt taken care of. Not in the big-gesture way that Alma always wanted you to exhibit, hinting at big gifts and dramatic arrivals at her office to sweep her away to Ibiza, but something much gentler. It was nice, you realized-- both to be taken care of and for the acts to be so unpretentious.

“For you,” a hand touched your shoulder and your cortado was placed in front of you, “and for me!” María set her own cup down and took her seat, smiling and waving her hand dismissively as you thanked her.

The conversation flowed once again between the two of you, and you enjoyed it even more than you had the previous evening in your car. You managed to draw out the tart, each taking smaller and smaller bites until finally María nudged the plate toward you and insisted you take the final piece. You brought out a chuckle from her by solemnly confessing that you’d taken an extra bite while she fetched the coffees, and she happily stole the plate back to finish it off herself. With the food out of the way, you were both focused on each other, and you felt the heat of her gaze as she listened carefully to everything you said.

You covered a wide variety of topics, learning about her family and friends, her love for music, and the meaning behind some of her tattoos. She didn’t speak much about her work, but you could tell she was driven and passionate. You shared plenty in return, her open interest in what you said and thoughtful questions leading you down plenty of tangents, including a retelling of your family’s antics that had you both laughing. The two of you were so engrossed in the conversation, that it wasn’t until your phone started ringing that you realized how much time had passed.

“It’s the friend I’m staying with, I better answer.” You told María, who gave you a thumbs up as you stood to move a few paces from the table before you answered. “Hi Maya.”

“Girl, where are you?” She asked, skipping over any greeting. You looked down at your watch and realized it was after six. Not time for dinner yet, but Maya was no doubt expecting you to be there when she returned from work. You caught María’s eyes on you and rolled your own dramatically at her as you replied.

“Sorry Mum, I’m out with a friend and we lost track of time. I’ll be back soon. Do you need me to pick anything up on the way?” You could very nearly hear Maya’s eyes narrowing on the other end of the line.

“What friend? I know all your friends, they’re my friends. Unless…” You winced as she trailed off, realizing you didn’t want to have this conversation within earshot of María. “You’re with Alma? Or Alma’s m—”

“Okay! We can talk about this later!” You cut her off firmly, feeling your face heat as you wondered how audible Maya’s voice was from your phone speaker. “Also,” you continued, thinking it might be best to clarify once and for all, “I ended things with Alma officially this morning, so safe to assume I’m not with her.” Maya’s honest-to-god cheer was a bit embarrassing, but you did feel a little like cheering yourself, so you chose not to mention it.

“I’ll expect all the details when you get here. Be safe until then, love you!”

“Love you too.” You ended the call, looking down at your phone a few moments longer than necessary before raising your head to look at María. She had an unreadable expression, but quirked an eyebrow at you when you met her eyes.

“Your friend seems very fun.” She said, then after a pause, “sorry to hear about Alma.” It felt like she was giving you the option to choose whether you wanted to talk about it, which you appreciated.

“I’m not really sorry,” you said, “it should have happened a long time ago.” María kept her gaze on you, not interjecting, face carefully neutral. It reminded you of when you first looked at her in your lobby. In a quieter voice, you continued. “I don’t wish it did, though.” María’s easy smile was familiar to you already, but her lips didn’t curve this time. You felt a strong urge to leave quickly, or even better, for the floor to open up beneath you. Closing your eyes, you heard the chair scrape as she stood. How predictably thoughtful of her to leave you to recover from your embarrassment. Just as you listened for her departing footsteps, you were caught off guard by two strong arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. Your eyes opened in surprise, but it didn’t take you long to squeeze just as tightly back, relief coursing through you. María’s face pressed into the side of your neck, and you felt her speak, but the words were too muffled to hear. The two of you held each other close a while longer, before she pulled back enough to look at you.

“This might be the strangest friendship I’ve had, but I’m so glad I met you.” She said, smiling softly. You returned her smile, and couldn’t resist saying,

“maybe Alma did both of us a favor in the end.” She gave your shoulders a squeeze in lieu of answering, but spoke after a moment.

“I had better send you back to your friend before she grounds you, I would hate for you to miss the game because you aren’t allowed to leave your room for a week.” It made you laugh, but the possibility is more likely than you’d like to admit. Maya had a greater chance of grounding you than your own mother did, in all honesty. It’s enough to spur you into action, and, after returning your dishes to the counter, the two of you made your way out of the cafe. You hugged one more time, then parted ways, but a shout of your name had you turning around before you made it to your car.

“I almost forgot to give you this!” María held out a folded piece of bright green fabric to you. “It’s the whole reason I dragged you out here after all.” You took it from her and unfolded it, quickly realizing it was a Real Madrid jersey, though not in the colors you were used to seeing.

“I thought you were joking when you said green!” She laughed in response to your confusion and explained that it was a goalkeeper’s jersey, hence the bright color.

“I brought a regular one as well if you prefer.” She added, sounding a little uncertain.

“No way, this is much better,” you held it up to your chest, “does it bring out my eyes like you said?” She leaned in a little closer, reaching out to lift the fabric up to your cheek.

“Absolutely.”

That evening after you returned to Maya’s and took a longer look at the jersey you sent María a text with a picture of the back of the jersey.

Me: This Misa better be good if I’m wearing her name on my back

María: Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you wear her name if she wasn’t

#woso x reader #misa rodriguez x reader #woso imagine #woso community #woso #woso fanfics

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zafirosreverie · 6 months

Text

Change the future part 3

part 1

a/n: Still on hiatus, just wanted to post something on the triplets' birthday

a/n2: I don’t even know what ship is this about anymore

__________________________

"At some point you're going to have to talk to her about this"

"But that won’t be today, Pepa"

Julieta said as she continued to cook, deliberately ignoring the way her pulse raced and her nerves stood on edge. She didn't even need to turn around to know that her sister was rolling her eyes as she leaned against the door frame. She knew the redhead was right, but she didn't have the will or the courage to face this thing she had been running from for weeks and only one thought lived rent free in her mind.

Y/N’s back.

Her head was spinning just remembering the moment she saw you again. You were thinner, you had more gray hair, and a couple of new wrinkles around your eyes, but you were still her Y/N, warm, simple, and unbelievably beautiful.

She didn't like to admit that she probably would have thrown herself into your arms without thinking if it weren't for Isabela, who had been faster than her. Things hadn’t been easy for her and her two remaining daughters, so the moment they saw you appear over the hill, the three of them had run out of the house not caring that the rest of the family looked at them in confusion.

Isabela didn't even bother to slow her run before she crashed into the open arms you offered her and your joyous laughter made her stomach feel weird, as if thousands of butterflies woke up inside her. You had shared many things in your letters during all those years, and for that time, Julieta allowed herself to think that it was enough, but the universe showed her how wrong she was when, having you in front of her once more, her heart seemed to cry happy tears, as if a piece of her had finally come back to complete her puzzle.

She didn't have time to think about it though, not when her precious Mirabel, now so big and beautiful, lunged at her, hiding her face in her neck, crying and telling her how much she had missed her. It took her brain a moment to recognize that the young woman in her arms was, in fact, her youngest daughter, her baby, but once that settled in her mind, it was like all the weight of the world was finally lifted from her shoulders.

"You're so beautiful, mija" she whispered, not even bothering to stop the tears that ran down her cheeks.

Mirabel had smiled waterily at her, whispering a soft thank you and saying again how much she had missed her. The girl dulled in her mother’s scent for a while, just trying to find the comfort she needed when she left so many years ago, and sighed happily before gasping and pulling away from her to run to the person behind her.

"Tía Pepa!!"

The brunette barely had a few seconds to laugh at the way her daughter was scooped up by the redhead before she herself was tackled by two familiarly strange and warm bodies.

"Tía Juli, look! I'm almost as tall as you!"

"Tía, tía, tía, I already know how to cook! And look! I cut my hair!"

"We brought you presents!"

"But mine are better because I love you more"

"Not true! I love her more!"

"No, I love her more!"

Julieta only managed to laugh softly while Joaquín and María clung to each of her arms and fought for her attention; they had five years of conversations to catch up with her after all. It really felt like time hadn't passed, even though your children were no longer the little babies she saw leaving that night. And then there was you.

You, who had smiled at her with complicity from your own tangle of hugs with Luisa and Isabela, you, who had been her rock, her pillar, and her cane even when you were so far away. You, who were stirring her entire being with your mere presence. You, who had approached her, hugged her when your children still held her arms hostage. You, who had whispered in her ear that little confession that haunted her dreams.

"I was dying to see you again, Eta...I missed you so much"

At that time, she had simply wriggled out of your children's grasp and returned the gesture, trying not to get lost on your warmth (even if she really wanted to cry), having you there was a huge relief, and all the stress and anxiety that had been eating at her insides for years was finally beginning to dissipate, her usually tormented mind was quickly being filled with a single thought: you were here.

"I missed you too" she managed to say, looking into your eyes with a small smile

"Yes, yes, will you get out of here please? There are people who also want to greet Y/N”

Julieta blinked a bit as her sister pulled her away from you and she didn't miss the way you looked at her half amused and half confused before returning Pepa's tight hug. She couldn't blame you, her sister had never been as close to you as she was, but she supposed that after everything that had happened since you left, the redhead's conception of you had changed. Well, at least you knew you had both of your sisters-in-law on your side.

“It's good to see you again, Pepa” you said as you separated “You haven't aged a bit…you don't even have gray hair! I need to know your secret"

"Oh, Y/N" she laughed "it's good to have you back"

"Her secret is to annoy me so that I’m the one getting gray hair and not her'' Julieta joked, crossing her arms.

You looked between the sisters while Pepa rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at the brunette, a gesture that the older triplet returned. Your mind struggled to catch up on it all, because you really couldn't remember the last time you'd seen them tease each other so openly, it was pretty cute.

The rest of the meeting was pretty adorable too. Joaquín and María used Félix as a climbing pole, while the man just laughed, Luisa and Isabela told you as much as they could, asking you questions while you tried to pay attention to both of them. Julieta thought that her daughter would ask about Agustín, or that she would be upset with her for their divorce, but Mirabel was quick to give her a hug and assure her that she didn't blame her or cared about him.

The brunette didn't have to wonder much where her youngest daughter was learning to handle the situation, because at that moment you intervened, gently squeezing the girl's shoulder.

"He couldn't bear to lose a daughter so he abandoned the other two? Math ain mathin" you said.

Julieta had just smiled gratefully at you as you winked at her, and for a moment everything felt good, like things were really starting to go back to normal, the way they should be. And then…then you saw Bruno.

The moment your eyes locked on the man hiding behind his mother would never leave her mind. Your eyes, which had been filled with warmth and kindness to everyone, turned cold and filled with a deep sadness that you desperately tried to disguise as disgust. And yet, she couldn't even pretend that she felt bad for her brother.

"Y/N" the man greeted awkwardly, forcing a guilty smile "...you look good."

"Bruno" you answered dryly

The air was charged with an intense tension that everyone could feel in their bones, as if it could be cut with a knife, or as if one wrong move could shatter such a surreal scene into a thousand pieces.

"It's good to see you again"

"I wish I could say the same"

Julieta felt in her own chest the dagger that you were burying on Bruno, who at least had the decency to look at the ground with remorse, but she knew you better.

It wasn't that you wanted to be cruel to the man you had loved more than life, but precisely that love you had for him had hurt you too much, it had destroyed you and it had hurt your children too. You were only trying to protect the hearts you had worked so hard to repair.

"What are you doing here?" Alma asked, looking at you with hate

"I came to see my family" you answered with the most neutral voice you could, but your hands were shaking

"This is no longer your family"

"Mom-" the older triplet tried to intervene.

"You shut up!" The older woman yelled, making everyone jump "Wasn't it enough for you to help this damn woman break the family?! Now you welcome her back with open arms?! After she stole my grandchildren?! Your own daughter?!"

"I didn't steal anyone! They are my children" you defended yourself.

You really didn't want to cause a scene, especially with all the children present, and because more than once you had to comfort Mirabel after waking up to the recurring nightmare involving her grandmother yelling at her. But that woman drove you mad with extreme ease.

"They would have been better here!" Alma replied "Away from your wicked hands. They belonged here, they wanted to stay here!"

"That's not true! My children wanted to go with me!"

"You had no right! They are Bruno's children!"

"He abandoned them!" Julieta yelled, making everyone look at her.

She could feel her heart racing, blood pooling in her cheeks, and a single look at her brother told her that she had finished erasing the faint ghost of what had once been her relationship with him, but she didn't care.

She couldn't care, not when she could see out of the corner of her eye how Mirabel was hiding behind you, how Isabela tried her best to appear calm but her hands moved as if she could still command an army of plants to defend her sisters.

Not when she could see Pepa and Felix trying to create a weak barrier with their bodies between their children and Alma, when Dolores hugged Camilo as if he was a little child in the hope that no one would hurt her brother again.

And especially not when she could feel your own fear, sadness, and despair as Joaquín and María clung to her own sides, suddenly terrified of who had once been a loving grandmother to them. Everything was wrong, everything was damaged beyond repair, there was nothing left for her to break, but she still had a family, a broken one, but a family nonetheless and she had to protect them, no matter from whom.

"How dare you talk about your brother like that?" Alma whispered dangerously "how dare you when you allowed your daughter to be kidnapped?!" that seemed to wake you up.

"Bruno left without saying anything, without caring about us, Julieta just protected us, all of us" you said, placing a hand on your sister-in-law's shoulder.

You didn't know if it was a bad choice of words or action, perhaps both, but you could see the moment when your mother-in-law's eyes flashed with an intense fire fueled by hatred and resentment. You barely managed to see her hand in the air and by intuition you closed your eyes, waiting for the blow.

"Don't you ever dare-"

But it never came.

"IT'S ENOUGH!"

You opened your eyes to see Julieta holding Alma's hand firmly, preventing it from getting to you. Julieta, the golden daughter of the Madrigal family, the sweetest and most loving woman you'd ever meet, defying the woman who once commanded respect with her mere presence. Although, was it really respect? Or was it fear? You thought that, deep down, it was the latter.

It really was a surreal scene, as if everything was frozen around you. But a voice in the back of your mind told you that it shouldn't surprise you so much, after all, this was also the woman who had made one of the most difficult decisions of her life in order to protect her daughter, the one who had broken blood ties in order to keep the rest of her family safe, the one who, no matter how much it hurt her to be separated from her brother and mother, still got up every day for the others’ sake.

No, it definitely shouldn't surprise you that if anyone had the strength to face Alma and everything that entailed, it was precisely the one who was once the brightest star in the family constellation.

Julieta Madrigal was many things, beautiful, brave, strong, maternal, affectionate and loyal, but she also hid a wolf inside her, one that was already fed up with seeing how her pack was threatened. She was ready to get the fangs out, and you were beginning to see why the rest had trusted her to be the head of the family.

"You insolent-"

"I SAID THAT’S ENOUGH!" the brunette growled, still holding her mother's hand "I've been patient with you, mother, but not anymore."

You could hear a couple of gasps behind you, and you weren't too surprised when Pepa approached you like a scared little girl while Mirabel hugged her. If you didn't know that the miracle was gone, you would think that the icy wind that enveloped you was your sister-in-law’s fault.

"Let go, Julieta-"

"I'm not going to let you talk like that to Y/N" she replied, you could see that she was squeezing the older woman's hand tightly, and from Alma's expression, it was obvious that it hurt, but it seemed like no one could move as you witnessed "the next time you raise your hand to her, me, or anyone in this family, it will be the last time you have a family"

That was a sentence that you yourself could feel in your bones. There was absolutely no trace of compassion or kindness in the older triplet's voice, nor did it leave any doubt that she would keep her word. It was a perfect ultimatum, one that even Alma seemed to understand, because she didn't utter a word as her daughter released her and walked back to the house.

The rest of you looked at each other for a few seconds before Pepa, with Mirabel still in her arms, went after her sister, causing the rest to follow her, including your children, who passed by Bruno without even looking at him, and ran to reach the hands of their favorite aunt. Your mother-in-law just muttered something about going with the Guzmáns and she walked away, disappearing into the night.

Only you and Bruno were left, both looking at each other with surprise, doubt and a little fear. Your eyes seemed to ask a thousand questions but neither of you understood what they were. In the end, you simply sighed and lightly hugged the man who, you must have reminded yourself, was still your husband.

"This wasn't how I expected tonight to go" you confessed lightly.

"It was something that was destined to happen" he whispered "if this didn't explode before it was only because Juli always had the patience of a saint... but I guess everything has a limit"

"I'm so sorry" you said to yourself, guilt beginning to rise in you "if I hadn't-"

"Don't, it wasn't because of you" he smiled a little "...things have been tense between them since before I even met you."

"Really?" you frowned "but...it seemed like she was the favorite daughter"

"She was the closest to the perfect doll mom had in mind" he corrected you "And it only got worse when we turned 5"

"When you got the gifts?"

"Yes" he sighed and looked at his hands "Pepa and I suffered a lot for our gifts, but we always knew that Julieta had it worse"

"Why?"

"Because she's the one who looks the most like dad" he answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world "If she hadn't been born a woman, I assure you, she would be his living portrait"

You thought about it for a moment. You had seen Pedro Madrigal's portrait many times, and although you had never paid much attention to physical details, you had always believed that he radiated a warmth that you only knew from his eldest daughter. It made sense that Alma would have seen the ghost of her late husband in her, and at that moment, something clicked on you.

"And Julieta's gift allowed her to help the community like no one else could" you looked him in the eye "Despite the exhaustion and fatigue, she was always ready to help others... like your father"

"That's right" he agreed.

"But...her gift made her absorb others’ pain" you continued, with the pieces falling into place in your mind quickly "she was in constant suffering...Alma made her reenact Pedro's sacrifice every day"

"And Pepa and I couldn't do anything"

You looked at Bruno for a moment. Despite being the youngest, he looked terribly tired, his eyes swam in deep sadness, his hands trembled and he looked incredibly fragile. Your heart forgot all about anger and disappointment, and was quickly filled with the same affection you had felt for him the first time you met him, a tender and childish love, pure and sincere. He was a brother who felt guilty for not protecting his sister.

"You love her" you said, it wasn't a question.

"As you don't have an idea" he answered anyway "when I came back, it was her arms that I wanted to feel, not mom's" he admitted "but she was furious with me, and with good reason. I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have left you or the children, I shouldn't have allowed mom to treat Mirabel like that...I should have done things differently...but that doesn't matter now"

You looked at him sympathetically and put a hand on his shoulder so that he looked at you. He seemed so lost, like a kid who has broken something and didn't know how to apologize to mom. Yes, there were too many things that maybe he could have done differently, you too. But that no longer mattered, time was not going to come back and all you could do was start walking towards the best option you had now, and you both knew that that option had a name.

"Have you tried talking to her?" you asked softly

"Mom is always by my side" he said "And I n-never have the courage to talk to her when we're alone, I…I just don't want her to hate me more"

"She doesn't hate you" you said immediately "she could never hate you... you're her baby brother, and we both know that deep down, there will always be a place in her heart for you, no matter how hard Alma tries to keep you from getting back on good terms with her."

"I feel like I've failed her too much" he murmured, looking at the ground "It doesn't matter what I do anymore, our relationship is broken beyond repair...B-but I love her, that's why I try to keep mom busy with me and leave the rest of us alone. I love her and Pepa, and-and I love our family, my nephews, my nieces, my children...and you"

Your cheeks warmed at the last words, and by the way his eyes looked everywhere but at you, you knew he hadn't expected that confession to slip out of him either, at least not at the moment. You smiled and hugged him again, trying not to let the discomfort touch you.

"Talk to her, Bruno" you said "I'm sure you can fix things...so can we" you smiled

He looked at you hopefully and slowly smiled back, walking silently beside you as you went back to the house. You both knew this wasn't a mend, that there was still too much going on between you, but at least you were headed in the right direction. After all, you'd already fallen in love with him once, who said it couldn't happen twice?

______________________

Except that the first time you hadn't had your sister-in-law's face on your mind, nor had you had a little five-year-old nephew rock your entire world with a simple question.

You really couldn't blame the little guy. Antonio was just a child trying to catch up with the changing situation of his family, he was learning to live with some cousins and an aunt he never knew and you knew you had to be patient with his questions.

You had to admit that he was adorable, and despite Pepa's teasing, it was nice to have him behind you all day. Joaquín and María had become his best friends immediately and it was obvious that he was replacing your son as Mirabel's favorite cousin.

Speaking of your children, both of them were making a titanic effort to stay away from their grandmother, but they were spending more and more time with their father, which seemed to be the first steps towards Bruno becoming part of the "good side" of the family again, as the children liked to call it.

Your relationship with him was still in the mending process, but at least you could say you were friends again, which seemed to relieve Pepa, one less battle to fight between her siblings, you guessed.

The problem was Julieta.

She was still your favorite sister-in-law and your best friend, without a doubt, but things were starting to get weird for you when you realized that she was slowly becoming your favorite person too. You seemed unable to stop your smile every time you saw her and your heart raced when you heard her laugh.

It was a terribly familiar and terrifying feeling, because you knew that she shouldn't have that effect on you, that you shouldn't feel with her what you once felt with Bruno. And yet you couldn't stop.

As much as you tried to lie to yourself, it was obvious that you were always trying to be with her, whether it was helping her cook or just chatting with her over coffee, it didn't matter, you just wanted to be close to her. You felt bad for a while, but then you started noticing the way she would blush every time you smiled at her or how she would look at you when she thought you weren't paying attention.

You were both playing a dangerous game, but it somehow felt so…natural, like that was the only logical path for you. You didn't expect that to be confirmed by the miracle itself.

It was one afternoon when, a few days after finishing the reconstruction of Casita, you and Julieta were sitting in the kitchen, just talking, you were telling her about the first dress that Mirabel made when Camilo ran in, his eyes full of emotion and fear in equal measure.

"Tías, you have to come quickly" he told you

"What's going on?" Julieta asked, even as you both were already getting up

"You have to see it for yourself"

You and the brunette looked at each other curiously for a second before hurrying after your older nephew. The rest of the family was already there and you only had to look in the same direction to understand the commotion. The candle was back.

Well, not exactly. The candle itself was there, but it was out. Still, you knew what that could mean for your family, you knew what they could get back if they managed to make it shine again. The question was, how?

"Mom, you have to take it" Mirabel said excitedly

"What?"

"Think about it Juli" Pepa agreed "you're the new head of the family, you should be the one to protect the candle now... right?"

"I… I guess"

Julieta looked at you for a moment, and you could see the doubt and anxiety in her eyes, so you just smiled and nodded, hoping that was enough comfort for her. The brunette returned your smile before approaching the candle. Her hands trembled and you did not doubt that memories of when she received her gift, more than 45 years ago, passed through her mind.

You all held your breath as the older triplet's hands carefully took hold of the candle and a current passed through you. It was soft and warm, just like a tickle. You waited a moment, but nothing else happened. You could see the disappointment in the rest of the family, especially the brunette, but they all faked supportive smiles.

"Maybe we need to call-"

"No Juli, we don't need her"

You were a bit surprised by Pepa's tone, but you could understand. Alma hadn't been back since the night you returned to Encanto, taking refuge with the Guzmans ever since. It hurt a little that this distanced Dolores from Mariano, but no one could deny that everyone breathed more peace since she was gone. It didn't seem strange to you that they refused to call her now.

"It's because tía Y/N isn’t close" Antonio said suddenly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

"Excuse me?" you blinked

"Abuela's candle was lit because Abuelo loved her" the boy explained.

You all looked at him like he was growing another head, but deep down, you all wanted to know the reasoning behind that little head. After all, the little ones always have the most creative solutions.

"What does that have to do with tía Y/N, Antonio?" Mirabel asked softly

"Tía Y/N loves tía Julieta" he said "the candle has to light if she's around her girlfriend, right?"

You didn't even need Dolores' gift to hear a pin drop, not when the room was deathly silent. You looked at Julieta out of the corner of your eye and you could see that her face was redder than a tomato, and you doubted that you were better. Your heart was racing like crazy, your hands were sweating and you could feel the anxiety building up in you.

How could a five-year-old boy understand better than you the forbidden feelings that had been blooming in you for your sister-in-law? Had you been too obvious? Did the others notice it too? God, you didn't even want to look at Bruno.

"Mami! mami!"

María's voice brought you out of your thoughts and you looked at her worriedly. Your daughter just looked at you in amazement and pointed with her little hand to the place where your attention should be. You hadn't even realized that you had approached Julieta, but now you were facing each other, with the candle between you and a small flame sprouting.

“It can’t be” you heard Isabela whispering while Pepa gasped

The moment you took a step back, the small flame went out. The brunette looked at you for a second before slowly approaching you again, causing the candle to relight. It wasn't a strong, magical glow like the one it had before the whole disaster, but it was a promise that you’d get the miracle back.

Except that neither you nor Julieta wanted to think about what the miracle was asking of you, or what that meant for both of you and your respective families.

#reader insert #x reader #Female reader #bruno madrigal x reader #bruno madrigal and reader #bruno x reader #bruno madrigal #julieta madrigal x reader #julieta madrigal and reader #julieta x reader #julieta madrigal #encanto x reader #encanto imagine #Encanto #change the future

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copperbadge · 1 month

Note

hello mr badge, i really enjoy your shivadh stories! i was reading your royals and ramblers first edition (pdf version) and have noticed some typos, which i am sure you are also on the lookout for. you might do a ctrl F for 'rambers' and 'georgei', and at the beginning of ch 16 you say 'of the horse of the house' instead of 'of the house of the horse'. georgie and monday are very sweet and i fully support joan's right to wreak havoc!

Hey, thank you for this, Anon! Fortunately it looks like there's only one incidence of Rambers and one of Georgei, so those are at least easily fixed :D I'll be uploading fixed versions shortly, either today or early tomorrow. I appreciate you letting me know! If this past week hadn't been quite so hectic I would have got to it a lot sooner.

The good news is, "Duke of the Horse of the House of Galia" is actually the correct version -- "Duke of the Horse" is the title, and the duke (or duchess of course) is of the House of Galia. (I don't expect anyone but me to remember this because it's an extremely intentionally silly title, just like how I don't expect anyone to be able to spell or pronounce "Askazer-Shivadlakia" :D)

I am working on a story now, which I haven't quite found a plot for yet, where Michaelis and Jes take Noah and Joan on a goodwill visit to Galia for Pride. So far it's mostly Joan romping enthusiastically through all the diplomatic events they have to attend, so perhaps if I lean into her chaotic nature a little I could find a plot. (Noah has grown out of his accidentally-pulling-buildings-down-around-him phase, and his subplot is basically about having a fling with Carlo's sister Luisa.)

#shivadhverse

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yellowcry · 1 month

Text

This ride goes where?

At first, Luisa thought that she hallucinated. But, under Mirabel's skin was a weak, barely audible pulse. But, just upon getting out, she stumbled into Abuelo.

For @miracles-and-butterflies Based on "Pedro ruins lives au"

TW: Suicide, Abuse.

No, no, oh Dios Mio!

Luisa's lungs could've just blown out from terror. Her heart could beat fast enough for both her and Mirabel

Her younger sister lay on the floor, not moving for a single centimeter. Quiet and still. Luisa's guts twitched upon the sight. The blood dripped down her neck, painting a soft carpet under her body. Luisa felt like throwing up. The room was breathless, quieter than void. Luisa's sight jumped upon the note on the table next to the door. She didn't read it through, her mind went wild just from the idea. A heavy realization that didn't even need a note from the bedside table to be understood.

Luisa's body moved without her will, kneeling next to a tiny girl. A crippling fear twisted her guts, pushing her mind deeper and deeper into the storming water, drowning her under the waves of horrifying sorrow.

"Tic"

At first, Luisa thought that she hallucinated. But, under Mirabel's skin was a weak, barely audible pulse. A last thread to her life that hadn't ripped off. A shaking breath escaped Luisa's lips. Mirabel was alive. Her sister hadn't died. There was a chance to save her. Luisa would make it up, she would do everything. She wouldn't let Mirabel out of her sight, she would heal every wound on her heart, make sure that her sister knew how important she was.

What was she supposed to do? 'Run to the hospital' — her mind realized, pushing her up of bare adrenaline, she was strong and pretty tall. She could make it in time. Luisa picked Mirabel up carefully, not daring to touch the cut.

Just upon getting out, she stumbled into Abuelo.

Her grandfather rubbed his buttoned shirt, annoyed by such a sudden meeting. "Luisa, what are you—" His voice was cut off as he looked up, seeing who was in Luisa's arms. For a brief moment, there was an utter terror in his wrinkly face as his eyes slid upon the blood on Mirabel's neck. "What happened?" He breathed out in terror, his teeth bared, and protruded brown eyes shifted to Luisa's face.

"She... She..." Her voice stumbled, the words died in her throat. Luisa hugged Mirabel closer. She didn't want this, if only she spent more time with her baby sister, maybe nothing of this would've happened. She let Mirabel out and now she was at the brink of death.

She winced as Abuelo grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the staircase in a tight grip. It would be easy for her to break out, but the terror made her knees buckle. Mirabel was bleeding out in her arms, and Abuelo was shaking with anger. Usually, it meant...

Oh... God... no, no...

"Abuelo, please!" Luisa yelled, tearing her vocal cord, begging for him to listen. She stumbled, being thrown into his room. "She's alive! She's still..." A slap on her face made her wince, breathing stopped for a bit.

Abuelo was mad. And Luisa knew it. He was often mad with her, way more often than when he wasn't. But this time it was even worse. Maybe even worse than when Tía and Tío had run away with their sons. His heavy breathing rang across the room. The loud sound of his boots alone was enough to scare Luisa. She knew the pain that would follow. A bursting agony while he hit her again and again.

"She's alive! A- Abuelo, Mirabel hasn't died yet!" She wanted him to listen, he had to let her out, allow her to make things right. He didn't react, too consumed by his own despair over losing yet another family member.

In a rough movement, Abuelo grabbed Mirabel out of her arms, dropping her on the ground. A motionless body tumbled, grasping the dust onto the embroidered clothes. "Take her name out of her mouth!" Abuelo hissed, tightening the rope around her wrists. Luisa felt her breathing getting heavy. She gasped frantically, in a desperate attempt to get enough air to speak.

"She's alive!" Why couldn't he listen to her? Luisa wanted to help, she wanted to save her sister and make things right.

Abuelo didn't flinch, too angry to pay attention to her words. He raised Luisa's sleeve, movement so bad that one of the threads fell off. "It's your fault!" He shouted, gripping her arm painfully, his nails dug into Luisa's bruised skin. "What is wrong with you?! How could you do this to her?"

"I haven't done anything!" That was exactly where she was guilty. If only she was a better sister nothing if this would've happened.

A book, a huge encyclopedia slammed against her skin. Luisa gasped in pain. It wasn't something unusual, but it didn't make it less painful. The blood rushed to the wound, forming a red spot on the fading bruises. Her chest rose, as she struggled in a desperate attempt to break free from the rope. "She needs to get to hospital!" Luisa's voice hitched, pain from another blow spread through her arms. "Please, get her to the hospital! Do whatever you want with me later"

Luisa didn't care how strongly Abuelo would punish her. He was right in one thing, it was her fault and she deserved it. But right now it was about Mirabel's life. Luisa would be glad to beat herself to half-death later if it meant saving her hermanita.

Abuelo did not seem to listen, leading to another hit. "Stop speaking! You're the reason she's dead!" Luisa couldn't argue with this. But she needed to help Mirabel. "Why would she do something like this if it wasn't for you?"

Luisa breathed out in horror. "I don't know?" Another yelp escaped her lips from a hit. Her locals tensed, fighting against this agony that crawled across her limbs. Tears welled up in her eyes. She wasn't sure if it was from pain or from Mirabel's situation.

Pedro's nostrils widened. "She was so ashamed of having such a failure as her sister that she preferred to be dead!" Luisa didn't argue on that. Whatever the reason, she knew that she was guilty. Pedro blinked to hold back the tears that threatened to get out.

"Get her to the hospital, please!" Was her only concern. She didn't want to lose any more time.

"Don't talk to me! If it wasn't for you, Mirabel would still be alive!" Luisa's muscles tensed in terror of his words. Her neck cracked, staying still.

"I'm sorry!" She felt like she was suffocating. The book pushed her deeper and deeper with every second. She didn't mean to hurt Mirabel, she wanted for everyone to be safe more than anything.

"If it was up to me, I would put you in a metal bull. Your favorite Greeks have one, right?"

Her exhaling stopped for a brief second. A metallic bull. One of the horrifying ways of execution in Ancient Greece. Luisa pulled her legs closer trembling in horror. She always knew that Abuelo didn't like her, but now he confirmed that he would gladly put her to the most painful death possible. Even Pedro himself looked shocked for a moment. A brief realization that it was a bit too far among the rage he felt. But it didn't stop him.

Her heart felt like it was squeezed, crushed inside her ribs. Her voice cracked, pressed down by screaming.

The blows climbed from her arms up to her shoulders. Sometimes they lay upon other bruises, sometimes her clear skin was affected too. Abuelo's anger boiled inside of him, making it impossible to speak through his walls. Luisa had no problem with the fact that Pedro blamed her. She blamed herself too, for not being a good sister. She didn't protect Mirabel. But she wanted to fix it. Lord, just give her another chance. She would do anything for Mirabel, make it so her hermanita wouldn't be so ashamed of her.

And she kept begging, trying to get another chance. Luisa couldn't stand the idea of losing Mirabel.

It took so long, before Abuelo calmed down a little, allowing Luisa to get out. She gasped, rubbing off the blood from her shoulders. It was painful as hell. Nothing new if Luisa was honest. It wasn't important right now. She needed to get Mirabel to the hospital.

Luisa carefully picked up her baby sister, gently squeezing her pale from blood loss wrist. She will be fine... Luisa will fix it.

There was no pulse this time.

#encanto #encanto au #ao3 author #fanfic #luisa madrigal #mirabel madrigal #pedro madrigal

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miracles-and-butterflies · 3 months

Text

Camilo: Before Dolores comes in, I’m gonna put ink all over her piano keys.

Luisa: I don’t think she’ll fall for that.

Isabela: And Dolores hates pranks. This is gonna backfire, primo.

Camilo: Ugh, fine, I’ll tone it down. I’ll move her piano a foot to the left.

Mirabel: What? She’ll be so angry!

Camilo: Okay, five inches.

Mirabel: Five?

Camilo: Three.

Mirabel: Three?!

Camilo: One.

Mirabel: One?!

Camilo: Okay, I’ll move it half an inch.

Mirabel: Fine. It’s your funeral.

Camilo, moving Dolores’ piano, grumbling: Ugh. Worst prank ever. Stupid Dolores isn’t even gonna notice…

Dolores, walking in: Good morning.

Dolores:

Dolores: Guys, my piano… *laughing manically* You’re crazy! How did you pull this off?!

#encanto #incorrect encanto quotes #isabela madrigal #mirabel madrigal #luisa madrigal #dolores madrigal #camilo madrigal #madrigal grandkids

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honeybeebytheseaa · 3 months

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My Grandkid HC’s

ISABELA

Lesbian. I’m sorry I just can’t see her being into guys it just doesn’t work in my brain.

Also trans of the gender (mtf)

Since she’s dropped her perfect persona, Isabela has been pulling pranks, ESPECIALLY on known little shit head Camilo. He doesn’t know whether to be proud or extremely annoyed.

Can’t cook or bake she’ll set the kitchen aflame

Always walks barefoot on the grass

Has names for most of her plants, especially the cacti

Doesn’t really involve herself in farmers work unless there is an emergency.

Developed a skill for gardening without her gift, and continues to do so even once she’s gotten it back. There’s something special about watching plants grow over time.

She still makes bouquets for events, but they’ve lost their conservative look for something more ‘Isabela’

Unlike most of her family she doesn’t mind bugs (unless they are in her room)

Very high pain tolerance. Likely due to smiling all day and cacti thorns.

She still likes pastel colors but they aren’t high on her list of favorite colors, so she opts for darker colors when choosing cloths.

She used to bite people as a kid

Has conflicting feelings on animals because on one hand yeah they are cute on the other she has to shoo them away from eating her plants every other week

Has a large man eating plant named ‘Rosita’

Sometimes she’ll take whatever is in Mirabel’s hand, put it on a high shelf she cannot reach, and walk away.

Can actually be scarier then Luisa believe it or not

SNORES SO LOUDLY the only person who can handle it is her gf

Not big on physical affection and often uses gift giving as her way of showing love (platonically and romantically)

DOLORES

Incredible musician who could basically play any instrument you hand her

She sings lullabies to the younger family members

Personally I imagine her as the only straight grandkid but obvi she is supportive of lgbtq+ since half her family is apart of it

She wouldn’t come out of her room when she first got her gift, but her parents and a very supportive Isabela eventually coaxed her out

She has headphones painted red and gold by Mirabel

autism (vine boom sound effect)

As much as she loves Isabela and appreciates all of Luisa’s hardwork; out of her cousins her and Mira get along the best.

Speaking of that Isabela and Dolores’s relationship, much like Camilo and Mirabel’s, soured as the pressure to uphold the family name increased. Before the magic disappeared they basically ignored each other, but began to reconcile during the rebuild and became close again.

Her room is sound proof (I know people say otherwise idc she needs a BREAK) but during the night she’ll sometimes open her window since it’s much quieter

I do believe she has SOME control over her gift, and in order to hear very far she has to hold a hand against her ear. When she isn’t, things are amplified but not unbearable. She’s kinda just gotten used to it.

Dolores love language is, unsurprisingly, words of affirmation.

If she gets stressed and doesn’t have access to her headphones, she’ll listen for the nearest family members voice (Ex: her fathers laugh, her mothers ranting, Camilo’s jokes, Antonio communicating with his animals)

Gets in on Isabela’s pranks now and again. She is mostly polite but has a devious side, especially with her cousins and siblings.

LUISA

I still adhere to the concept Luisa has some sort of ‘calm’ room. Wether it be an amusement park or a sauna she deserves to have somewhere to destress

Has a pile of stuffed animals, each with different names

She actually does enjoy doing chores and being active, but struggles to find a stopping point and not overwork herself

She’s more then just brawn, and was always a sharp academic when she was in school

Women enjoyer women enjoyer

VERY physically affectionate she’s giving everyone hugs and crushing their bones

Her and Camilo get along very well after Casita’s rebuild. She likes his energy and ability to let loose, and Camilo respects all the work she does around the Encanto. They mesh well.

When she first got her gift she accidentally broke her dads hand

Her father used to teach her piano, though she sorta fell out of it the older she got. Since casita’s rebuild she’s picked it back up as a hobby.

A big animal person, second to Antonio. She likes patting the donkeys on the head if she gets the chance

Has a hard time sitting down to eat because she’s always getting ready to move

If you give her anything she’ll begin sobbing and thanking you (birthdays and Christmas are rough)

She puts the younger kids if air jail if she has to

She originally struggled to control her gift, and that made her scared to touch anyone in fear she’d hurt them. But Pepa helped Luisa find ways to control the strength as she had to learn with her weather

After she lost her gift she kept trying to move the church as a force of habit

Reads a lot of fantasy novels

Helps Antonio wrangle his animals

CAMILO

(This will be more brief as I have a whole post of HC’s for this mf)

Gay and trans can’t change my mind

Despite always being hungry he cannot stomach fish. Some other seafoods are fine but the smell of fish makes him ill.

Won’t say this out loud: he is kinda legitimately afraid of Isabela ever since he’s become the target of her pranks. No one knows true fear until you realize you are caught in a Isabela prank.

Camilo’s love language is a lot of things, but quality time is high up on his list as he likes living in the moment.

Is a very good artist but gets embarrassed when people try to look at his work

Despite being a stick he is surprisingly strong.

Him and Mirabel used to be close but sort lost that connection the older they got, and even began to fight and butt heads. I like to think they do eventually become close, but it takes a lot of conversation and time.

adhd and autism (vine boom sound effect)

used to bite people as a kid

He likes reading plays and will space out for hours thinking how something translates on a stage

Sometimes he stands in front of a mirror and goes ‘why why why why why why why w

MIRABEL

The silly!!!

Like Isabela: gift giving is her way of showing affection. She loves hand crafting gifts.

This is depressing but when she didn’t get her gift she drew a door on her wall hoping the magic would make it real

Once no one would wake up so she poured water on Camilo’s head and he screamed so loud it woke everyone else up

Mirabel looks extremely innocent but will literally try to stab anyone who bothers her with her sewing needle

She used to write simple picture books for Antonio when they roomed together

She DEF got her own room during the rebuild. Like imagine saving the miracle and your family is just like “anyway go back to the baby room lol” they wouldn’t do that to her

Bisexual icon love to see it

Has zero rizz I’m sorry queen but like she’s a girl failure by heart

Is a bit of old woman and can’t stay up too late without getting tired but in turn wakes up extremely early.

Not the best academic but obviously still very smart.

She’s an empath so if you begin crying she’ll start crying too she can’t help it

Is blinder than a bat if you take her glasses away she cannot see SHIT

ANTONIO

Don’t have too much on him since he is still a baby but I have a few!

His favorite animal is the jaguar! Hence the plushie and his closeness to Parce

He likes matching animals to people, and even has a few animals named after his family.

Animals often tend to just kinda… follow him. If he goes for a walk he might came back with some new friends.

I do think he’s a vegetarian. Maybe not a vegan but eating meat is not easy for him.

He doesn’t always go to his parents if he has nightmares, and will rotate between Dolores, Mirabel, and Camilo.

Kicks in his sleep

#encanto #encanto headcanons #camilo madrigal #dolores madrigal #isabela madrigal #mirabel madrigal #antonio madrigal

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futbol16 · 1 year

Text

Where does it not hurt • Alexia Putellas

Word count: 2,1k

Your lips pressed together and you allow yourself to lean your back against the closed cabinets as your tongues battle for dominance, a battle that both of you knew you’d win. This wasn’t your first time doing this with Luisa, ever since that one night a month ago you had been pulled out of your seat by the flight attendant numerous times.

“Where are you flying?” she breathed out as your lips moved to her jaw

“Oh, I’m sure you know” and she hums at your words, her fingers tangling in your hair as you place open mouthed kisses on her skin. The sound of the curtain being pulled back had you looking up, though Luisa didn’t seem to hear it as she tugs you back down. Y

ou keep eye contact with the person as Luisa presses herself into you. Alexia gulps as she watches frozen in her place, the required hairstyle of a bun for the flight attendant allowing the midfielder to see your lips move down the side of the girl’s neck and her eyes move back to yours. The intensity of the eye contact and the fact that the girl in your arms was quietly whining in pleasure is too much for Alexia and she blinks rapidly to bring herself back to reality. Her journey to the toilet is postponed as she stumbles back a bit turning around, she hurries back to her seat leaving you alone with the flight attendant.

“Well that was fast” Frido comments from her seat next to the Barcelona captain and Alexia only nods at her words, her mind replaying what she just saw. A few minutes later you flop back in your seat next to Mapi who snickers at your swollen lips and nudges you in the shoulder.

“Had fun?” she laughs, soon joined by Lucy and you grin back at them with a joking tone.

“Have I ever told you I have a thing for stewardesses?” the two cackle at your words

“And footballers” Mapi mutters and you smack her in the shoulder

“A Spanish footballer!”

“Lucy!” you scold the woman who raises her hands in mock innocence, a smirk plastered on her face. Alexia watches the scene from her own seat before she turns forward with a huff, Rolfő’s question falling on deaf ears. Her mind was spiraling.

You and Alexia had become friends when you joined the team a couple of seasons ago and it quickly became apparent to your teammates that you were attached at the hip. Wherever you were, the midfielder followed and vice versa. The two of you would ask to be roomed together on away games, partner up for drills in training and spend off days together. Known as the female Lionel Messi and Louis Suárez of Barca femení, defenders were terrified to face Barcelona’s best duo. You were a force to be reckoned with.

Somewhere along the friendship with the Catalonian had turned into something else, although no one said anything about it the flirtatious remarks sent the other’s way were hard to miss. Touches between you became more frequent, often lingering and whispers were shared amongst the two of you. The thin line separating friendship from something more started to blur more with each passing day until you had enough of it and confronted her.

Your biggest mistake, you were soon to find out. You left your shared hotel room close to tears and extremely embarrassed at the rejection, you failed to return that night as you opted to stay in Mapi’s room. The defender had begged you to tell her what happened but you wouldn’t budge and as soon as the tears started rolling down your cheeks the blonde forgot all about it and instead gathered you in her arms and held you as long as you needed her to.

It was better if she didn’t know, you thought, with how protective she was of you she’d surely go absolutely mental if you told her and your team didn’t need tension and arguments during the season. Alexia on the other hand felt extremely bad and similar to you, that night she fell asleep on her pillow damp from tears. Since then you had talked up the Barcelona flight attendant and Luisa was quick to jump at the opportunity of snogging with a hot footballer. Alexia understood that.

Attending an event, just the two of you wasn’t the most ideal situation but you had to act professional. You couldn’t let something as simple as a rejection affect your game on the pitch and your behavior off it. You would survive the night. Or so you thought. Throughout the event Alexia kept herself close to you despite the glares you sent her way to back off. The brunette would only smile your way in front of the camera, hand flat on the small of your back and occasionally complimenting you. You tried acting like it wasn’t bothering you, like the touch that you used to crave was only making you uncomfortable now but as her hand brushes against your own for the umpteenth time, you decide to do something about it.

Grabbing a hold of said hand Alexia barely has enough time to set her drink on the table before you’re dragging her with you to the bathroom. Upon entering you immediately lock the door behind you making sure that no one would interrupt the two of you. You turn back to the midfielder with a look that almost has her taking a step back from you.

“What are you doing? You don’t get to do those things anymore, you made yourself pretty clear Alexia!” you hiss at her, stalking towards her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she unsteadily lets out.

“I felt humiliated Alexia, you made me feel stupid. Don’t make me spell it out for you!” she stays silent as her eyes take in your expression, your own eyes hardening. “I get that you’re my captain, but God help me if this-if all of that was one sided. I mean even our closest friends thought we were past that point!”

you laugh humorlessly as you smooth your hair back, a single strand falling into your face. The brunette reaches out to tuck it behind your ear but you stop her with a hand on her wrist. It hurts more than she thought it would, you rejecting her touch.

“Alexia, please.” you plead with her, exhaustion clear on your face. “Don’t make it hurt more.” and with that you’re out of the bathroom leaving the midfielder on her own. Alexia’s eyes water as she leans her forehead against the door, a quiet cry leaving her lips.

“Alexia, what did you do!” the blonde comes bustling into the empty locker room, raging. The Barcelona captain stands, a sudden dread filling her. “You promised not to hurt her, you promised me!”

“I know! I know!” she drops back in her seat, head in her hands.

“You told her you couldn’t love her because you’re captain? I mean what kind of bullshit is that? It didn’t stop you before!” the blonde paces the room though her eyes remain on Alexia.

She looks up at her, regret written all across her face and Mapi stops in her pacing. She knew how important you were to each other, and Alexia was her friend too. As much as she was angry with her right now, she wasn’t going to make her suffer. Walking to her captain, gaze hardening as she speaks.

“You better fix this with her and fast” she nods back at the defender, sniffling lightly as she thinks of how to get you back.

“So? How’s it been with Luisa?” Lucy wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and you wave her off.

“I broke it off.”

“Aww come on! So no action for you, huh?” Patri jokes

“No, there wasn't any action before either. I don’t do meaningless sex” you admit as you sip on your coffee.

“Only meaningless make out sessions?”

“Ah, so you called it off because she wanted more?” the two of them push and you shrug at them.

“She wasn’t the real deal” your eyes wander to your captain only to find her staring back at you before Mapi sits down next to you.

You had been targeted all throughout the match against Real Madrid. It was obvious that they weren’t liking your chemistry with Alexia and this time they decided it’d be more efficient if they’d only target the one of you, hoping to get you off the field and make their job at winning easier. You weren’t going to allow that though and after a hard fought 105 minutes you limp off the field with a 5-1 win and seven yellow cards to Real Madrid.

Entering the tunnel you’re sent to the medical room where you were told you’d be checked out. That is where you sat currently, jersey discarded and you fumbled with it as you waited for someone to assess you. The sound of the door opening has you looking up and your eyebrows furrow as you find Alexia slowly walking up to you. She silently reaches for a pack of wipes and you watch her move around.

“What are you, my nurse now?” you weakly joke and she momentarily glances up at you as she sighs.

“I’m so sorry Y/N/N, lo siento I didn’t mean to hurt you” she starts and you allow her to move the baby hairs out of your face. She gently takes the shirt from your hand and sets it next to you on the medical table.

“Lo siento, I was just so scared. I’ve never met someone like you, someone so amazing and-”

“Ouch!” you let out as she dabs the wipe on one of the cuts on your side, no doubt when you got tackled by Esther. She moves elsewhere with the wipe, muttering a quick apology.

“And loving and someone who could understand me so well. You brought out this different side of me and showed me how to live, to really live-” you clench your jaw as she puts some cream on your bruise and you move her hand away from you. She grabs the wipe again, continuing her work.

“I was just scared I’d ruin it all, that you’d realize I wasn’t who you wanted-”

“That hurts!” you hiss out as the wipe runs over another cut.

“Well where doesn’t it hurt!” She throws her hands up and you finally take notice of the way her eyes are welling up, your own now softening and you take a hold of her hands pulling her a bit closer.

“Here, it doesn’t hurt here” you point to your shoulder, inhaling sharply when she slowly leans closer and presses a kiss to your skin. Your head turns in her direction and your eyes meet as she pulls back. Her eyes glimmer with hope in the poorly lit medical room.

“Here” you point to your forehead, eyes fluttering at the kiss she places there, lips lingering for a second or two.

“Here” you whisper with a slight stutter, fingers ghosting over your lips as you stare up at her. There’s a light pink tint to her cheeks as she pauses, making sure you actually want this like she’s forgotten about the back and forth flirting between the two of you and your confession. A second later she leans in capturing your lips in a sweet kiss and her hands fly to your neck whilst your arms circle her waist and you pull her impossibly closer until she’s standing between your legs. Your lips glide over each other in perfect sync like your souls have been waiting for this for years, and maybe they have. Your tongue explores her mouth as she tugs on your hair and you pull away breathlessly but you don’t go far as you lean your foreheads together. Your eyes are twinkling with love and Alexia melts under your gaze until a single tear escapes her eye.

“Hey, hey” you whisper to her as you wipe the tears.

“Lo siento, I really didn’t mean to hurt you” she tucks herself into your neck. As you rub her back.

“I know Ale” she smiles at the nickname, you haven’t called her that in a while. “It’s okay amor, just don’t do it again.” you attempt to lightly joke but the midfielder takes it very seriously as she nods into your neck.

“Never again” she smiles at you and she doesn’t let you reply as she whispers on your lips before pulling you back in. “Te amo Y/N”

#woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #futbol16 #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader

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silverstonesainz-archive · 1 year

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it’s still the 15 in la so forgive me for the late submission i’m adoring these least-to-most-likely scenarios and would love to hear your thoughts on the 2023 grid + danny, mick, and seb in terms of who’d successfully one day randomly pop up with a secret wife of ten years and three kids as if it were a casual thing

from least-to-most-likely... im sorry this is so long and a lil late

lando -> idk i think its a generational thing where soft launches & validation through social media is all the rave. so i think lando wouldnt or even couldn't hide it even if we wanted to. and i think lando likes showing off his girl, hes very comfortable in his relationships (ie talking about luisa in dts).

pierre -> absolutely not. he loves showing off what– rather who, he loves. i mean yall.... his photos with katerina are still up on his instagram he loves that shit. SO NO he will not being keeping a wife and family a secret. if he had it his way he would livestream his wife giving birth. tell me i'm wrong, i dare you.

logan -> he is a young, white man. and i mean white. american white. and if there is anything i know about caucasian men in all my years of dealing with them, there is no hiding a girl even if their life depended on it. same deal as lando too, where soft launches and the need for validation through posting is very much ingrained in the current dating culture sooooo yea.

fernando -> this man is so unserious, and also a boomer-wanna-be-gen-z when it comes to social media so its all about sharing his love and his corazon. though i will say he will be pretty selective with what he shares. and i think he'd pull a rosberg, in that he will post family photos but with emojis over his baby's faces.

nico -> something about this man just tells me that he enjoys the validation and the sharing a lot. we'd hear about the engagement, the pregnancy, all through instagram. but i think he'd do it in cringey cute way. my man is on pinterest with "cute pregnancy announcement inspo" in the search bar.

checo -> he is a proud papa & husband (minus that time in monaco). he loves having his family around him so there isn't a reason why he would ever keep it a secret. though i will say, much like he already does, he would try to keep his family/personal life very much seperate from his work. i think all we'd see of his family is when they show up to races or milestones/birthdays via social media.

charles -> i think he just loves sharing pieces of his life with us that keeping his family a secret would be impossible. charles would 100% walk onto the paddock with his daughter on his hip. they would be wearing matching sunglasses (raybans bc forza ferrari. and not her own pair, one of daddy's). but not outfits bc mama dressed her baby, not charles.

valterri -> he tries to keep what goes on in his personal life as on the down low as possible. i think that he would definitely try to keep his kids out of pap photos & try to hide their faces but other than that i think we would all be aware of his ever-growing family. i think he'd do smth cheesy like post a photo from the back of him and his son with matchin mullets. or maybe a photo of lewis carrying his daughter bc 'uncle lew had to get a matching outfit with his god daughter.'

oscar -> i could've lumped him higher on the list with lando/logan but smth about oscar tells me otherwise. like idk what it is about him but i think he'd try to keep it on the hush hush for as long as he can before eventually sharing with the world. we'd be surviving off soft launches for a WHILE methinks. (but i could be so wrong bc idk oscar this is just based off his face).

kevin -> we'd know (i mean we know now). but similar to fernando in a sense where he chooses what pieces of his time with his wife and kids he wants to share with the world. i think he is very protective of his family and the peace he's worked on building around them.

esteban -> you know... with the way his & elena's relationship is going i can definitely see this man randomly dropping that he's married one day. but the thing is, is that we would all already have an idea of who his wife is, if that makes sense. we'd get little bouts of content from him. a very 'private, not secret' type beat.

nyck -> just like esteban in a sense where we'd know who the wife would be. i think the marriage would come as a shock, but as their family grows i think he'd drop hints and stuff. nyck will definitely bring his kid(s) to at least one race a year and i just have an inkling that his child would be a menace.

alex -> he's happy to share the small moments with the world, but oh it would be very sparse. just little crumbs here and there. he protects what he loves so much, but he's much too proud and excited not to share. think of all the baby photos with all the animals. the matching hair-dos. the baby hating photos as much as dad hates media so when the paps come around baby has the same frown.

daniel -> we would know, but i think he would take his time introducing that part of his life to us. we'd always know he's married & has kids, but we would also have to live off of soft launches for a bit. daniel is a proud man, proud of the life he builds and who he chose to build it with. and daniel would 100% walk onto the paddock with his kids hanging off of him. his daughter on his back, son upside down in his arms.... do you see the vision???

lewis -> this man could go either way. on the one hand i can see lewis showing off the love of his life and his family bc thats what lewis does. he shows off the people he loves. but then i can also see him keeping it quiet, keeping just a piece of his life a secret because in the position he's in, he doesn't have too many secrets to himself left. so yeah... but tell me what yall think.

carlos -> carlos would've been lower on the list with all that 'i protect love' crap but me personally, i just don't see it. i think that we'd all somehow find out about his engagement + growing family somehow. like carlos is always being followed by the paps for literally WHAT. so yeah, i don't think it would be best kept secret. also he's such a family man, i think he'd jump at the opportunity to share his family with the world.

lance -> i know lance has posted his s.o. before, but there is something about this man that tells me when it's a love that he really really values and wants to protect, he will keep it a secret. he will keep them away from the limelight, from the unnecessary attention for as long as possible. idk about 10yrs and then pop out with a whole wife & kids, but i definitely think he'd be the type randomly drop on wednesday that he's engaged.

george -> i think this man could pull it off if he wanted to. i think he'd go ghost on social media in terms of what he does in his personal time. like itll be all race content until one day he just drops a photo of him & his wife welcoming their new baby. i can see it. but i think it all depends on him.

yuki -> idk i think in a relationship he'd be very reserved about it. i think that he'd hate the attention he would end up receiving about dating, so much so he'd prefer if no one knew right away. i think that we'd always know he's with someone bc of like soft launch-esque photos of hands/back of their head. but yeah we'd never truly know who until much much later.

guanyu -> guanyu truly gives me vibes of wanting to protect his family and try to keep them separate from his work. and not even in a malicious way, but in a sense where he doesn't want the people he loves most to be put under undeserving scrutiny. he'd find ways to bring them to races & events but truly, the public would never know.

max -> if were being completely honest here, we know so much about max's love life because of who he's involved with. but if he had it his way, i think we he would pull it off. like i think he would randomly drop the "my wife & kids" line out of no where and it would take the world by storm. and max would say it so nonchalantly too.

mick -> i think that he could pull it off. even in his last relationship, i dont recall ever seeing him post about/with her so... he is definitely a very very private guy. and he has a very tight group of friends at that, so i doubt any information would ever get out to the public unless mick makes a move first.

seb -> he's a very private guy, who didn't even have instagram until last year... and it was to announce his RETIREMENT. and though we know about hannah, we don't know much about his kids. i think i remember kym telling a story about how sebastian asked him & other photographers not to photograph his kids when they came on the paddock so.... seb will go through hoops and the extra mile to be sure a secret is kept.

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maxbegone · 11 months

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etched in gold

Husband makes his heart race. His breath catches in his throat, his smile grows on its own accord, and the world comes to a pinpoint of focus, slows, because he has a husband.

TK’s head falls back, revealing the beautiful line of his neck as he laughs at whatever someone said in the circle of their friends he’s standing in. He’s golden in this warm light, catching on the ring that he slid onto his finger mere hours ago, a symbol of forever, through anything — not that they need one. It’s been proven, and their love is more than enough.

Most of their guests have gone home, leaving just their family, immediate and found, to enjoy the extra time they opted for at the venue, their conversations merely accompanying the soft music playing from a speaker somewhere, a glorious hum of people who came together for them.

Carlos finds himself unable to look away, like so many times before. It always catches him off guard, those moments of this is mine, this is my life and I get to have it, that make him practically pinch himself so he knows he’s not dreaming.

“Carlitos,” he hears. It’s a feat to pull his gaze away from TK, only to find Luisa leaning gently toward him. She has his niece in her lap, fast asleep against her chest as she strokes her hair. “You should be with your husband.”

“In a minute,” he replies. He’s enjoying this moment from afar.

His sister clearly isn’t having it, nudging his ankle with her foot under the table, laughing when he gives her an amused look. “Go,” she says again. “It’s your wedding day, you don’t have to entertain us so much.”

And she’s correct. “Alright, alright.” Carlos gets to his feet, but not before leaning over to kiss his niece’s curls.

He sighs contentedly as he crosses over, catching TK by the waist and pulling him in to kiss his cheek from behind. TK startles a laugh, only to fall comfortably back into Carlos’ arms as he leans up to kiss him back, lips just hitting his jawline.

“I’m not interrupting, am I?” He asks the circle, though it’s mostly directed at TK, whose arm is linked with his own as he runs his thumb in little swipes over his sleeve.

“Not at all, baby,” TK replies with a grin,

“We’re just hounding your husband a bit,” Paul laughs, and Carlos eyes him curiously.

“About what?”

“Last names, mostly,” Nancy says, leaning into Mateo. “And how one hyphen sounds better than the other.”

“Just let them do their thing,” TK says to him.“They’ve been at it all night.”

“And they know we’re keeping our own?”

Marjan holds up a finger. “Uh, for now. That’s what TK said.”

Carlos hums. “Okay, well, you all start placing your bets, I’m going to steal my husband.”

A series of teasing and childish ooohs follow them as they make their way down a cobblestone path that winds down to the lower level.

They walk in slow, happy silence for a little while, hand-in-hand, until they reach the area their ceremony was earlier in the evening. TK sighs happily as they take a seat on the stone wall at the back of the aisle. The chairs have since been put away, the flower petals swept up, leaving an open and empty space for another couple to tour someday soon and fall in love with, a place to showcase their love to the world just as they did today.

TK rests his head on Carlos' shoulder, and Carlos leans his head on his. In the distance, music thrums softly as laughter is carried throughout the venue. It's perfect, in this charming and private moment of theirs.

"What are you thinking?" TK asks him quietly, as if speaking any louder will break the spell that's fallen on them.

"That this really is the best day of my life."

TK lifts his head up and smiles. "Mine, too. I'd say it's almost perfect."

"Yeah..." Carlos breathes out shakily as he tries to stave off the tears for what feels like the hundredth time today, and he does it, but barely. "Almost."

"Baby." TK shifts to kiss him, letting go of Carlos' hand where it sits in his lap to hold the side of his face.

The kiss is tender enough to make him melt, and Carlos finds himself putting his entire being into it. He pulls away with barely any space between them, foreheads touching and noses bumping as TK sneaks in one last one.

"They're here," Carlos hears him whisper, fingers toying with the lobe of his ear, a comforting gesture. "They're here. Nothing could have stopped them."

He doesn't want the bittersweetness to show, but he knows he can let it out with TK. He's his safe space, his lifeline, someone he's vowed to love and fiercely hold onto until the end of his days. So he lets it out, a choked shudder, then shakes himself. Carlos sits up tall as he catches TK's eye and knocks his finger gently under his chin.

"Did you check your ring?" Carlos' eyes drop down momentarily to the band that rests on TK's finger.

He smiles. "No," he says with a laugh, "I haven't. I told you I wouldn't until we could look together, and when I tell you that was one of the hardest things I've had to refrain from doing..."

Carlos raises a brow. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Almost as hard as not shoving cake in your face initially."

"Well, you did in the end."

TK laughs again. "Only after you did it to me," he points out. "Did you look at yours?"

"Nope. We made a promise."

"That we did." He moves a little closer. "You first."

Carefully, Carlos slides his ring off his finger and holds it up so he can see. The lighting isn't bright, but it's enough to make out a line of Hebrew characters inside the gold band.

"Ani l'dodi v'dodi li," TK recites beautifully, watching as Carlos squints as he thinks. "I am my beloved's..."

"And my beloved is mine," he finishes, watching as TK's eyes light up.

"You remembered?"

"Of course I did. It's beautiful."

TK beams. "You're beautiful."

He holds up his ring next, and Carlos watches carefully for his reaction. It goes from curious to realization in less than a second, and TK's eyes are shiny when he turns back to him.

His mouth hangs open. "I—is this...?"

He nods. "Now I'll always be there to hold you, no matter what."

TK lets out an audible breath, shaking his head as if he cannot believe what he's looking at. "Baby, this...this is amazing."

Carlos pulls the ring a little closer so he can take a look himself, trailing over the whorls of his very own fingerprint etched on the inside of TK's wedding band.

"I didn't even know this was an option."

"Neither did I," Carlos tells him, "but I did my research."

TK's shoulders drop as he leans into him, pressing a kiss against his jaw. "I love you so much."

"I love you." He pulls TK in for a proper kiss, holding his face in his hands. "Thank you for marrying me," he says with a gentle laugh. He knows it sounds ridiculous, but he needs to say it.

TK hums. "Thank you for saying yes."

They kiss again, longer this time, more drawn-out, before TK goes to slide his ring back on. Carlos stops him.

"Let me."

TK returns the gesture, and for a little while they sit there in complete, contented silence, comforted by each other's presence and peace.

There's a whole life ahead of them waiting to be discovered. Carlos has plans, and he knows TK has plans of his own. He can't wait to see what's in store. But, for now, Carlos needs nothing else — just his husband, who is his entire heart, and the promise of forever.

#ta-daaa!!!#911 lone star #911 ls #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos fic #911 ls fic #userjillian #tuserjen #reyesstrand #jddryder #actuallysara #usersteen #swearphil #my fic #my 911 ls fic

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laurenairay · 9 months

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taking on the world together - J. Oettinger

Summary: Gracelyn didn't realise how much of Boston she associated with Jake Oettinger until he was gone.

Warnings; light angst, fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, ignoring the existence of COVID-19 to fudge the timelines, college years, one incident of mild harassment, some bad language.

Words: 11.4k

A/N: jumping in as a pinch hitter for @wyattjohnston’s summer fic exchange 2023! Writing for @jarmorie - I really hope you like this and I really hope I hit all your prompts! Spreading the Otter love as he deserves 💛 I was listening to this song and immediately got so inspired.

Tagging some fellow Otter fans: @senditcolton @extratragic @texanstarslove

Inspiration (and title) from Mine, by Taylor Swift

~~~

I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling, Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.

~~~

September 2016.

Gracelyn Davis had never left Fayetteville, West Virginia before. At least, not before her father drove her across the country to Boston University like he had done over the past two days. Her mother had decided being in the car for that long with them ‘wasn’t for her’, and considering her father was a man of very few words, the 12 hours, spread over two days with a sleep stop in the middle, had been spent split between rereading one of her favourite books and watching the world go by out the window.

It was a quiet ride. Gracelyn was used to it.

Butterflies filled her stomach as they pulled into campus parking, the crowds of people almost overwhelming. They weren’t even in the heart of the city and already this was the busiest place she’d ever seen. Gracelyn matched her father’s silence as they unloaded the car, using the offered hand trolley to help with her boxes, her father pushing those with her duvet and pillows piled on top while Gracelyn pulled two suitcases and a large duffel bag. It didn’t take long to get herself all signed in, and once they’d piled all her belongings in the empty dorm room, she knew it was time.

With a brief hug and a ‘do your best’, her father left. She hadn’t really expected much more. Even the fact that she’d finally left her small town was more than she could ever have dreamed of.

“Whoo! Go Terriers!”

Gracelyn watched out the third storey window as small parade of energetic people dressed in red, white, and black jogged past her building, smiling to herself at the cheerful chaos. This was nothing like Fayetteville. She loved it already.

“Hey roomie!”

Gracelyn turned around sharply, hand to heart in surprise at the voice in the doorway. The campus had assigned housing to all freshman who’d applied, and she’d been put in contact with a ‘Madison’ to get to know each other. All she really knew was that Madison had blonde hair, came from Queens, New York, and was going to be studying Digital Marketing. That, and she had very strong opinions on everything from Taylor Swift to correct recycling methods to sheet thread count. Blonde, tanned, perfect white smile, and all the confidence of a city-kid that Gracelyn didn’t have.

“Oops, didn’t mean to startle you. It’s nice to meet you, Gracelyn,” she grinned.

At least she was friendly too.

“Nice to meet you too, Madison. I prefer Gracie,” Gracelyn said, smiling shyly.

“Gracie it is! And please, call me Maddie. We’re going to be the best of friends. I can already tell,” she grinned, throwing her blonde hair up in a bun. “Do you mind if I put on some music while we unpack?”

~~~

May 2020.

How time had flown by. As Gracelyn pulled out the first of her cardboard boxes to at least attempt to start packing up her half of the dorm room, memories flooded in. Maddie hadn’t been wrong – they really had become the best of friends over the past four years, forming a wider group of six of them in total. Herself, Maddie, Luisa, Jenny, Chanel, and Daisy, all girls scattered across their original freshman dorm building floor, all of them forming bonds that stuck with them over the past four years.

Each of their had majored in a different subject, each other them came from different states, but each of them had been the loyal, sweet, kind friends that Gracelyn had always hoped for, so she knew that even though their time at college together had officially come to an end, she wouldn’t be losing these friendships any time soon.

Late night study sessions, movie nights, sleepovers, makeovers, campus concerts, dinners out – all of these memories scattered across polaroid photos, Instagram accounts and genuine memories. All of the things that Gracelyn was going to miss so terribly.

She was even going to miss the parties, the wild nights out that were so often accompanied by singing at the top of their lungs, dancing until their feet ached, and nasty mornings after.

Speaking of parties, Maddie wasn’t the only person who Gracelyn met in her first week in Boston who turned her life upside down.

~~~

September 2016.

“Are you sure I look okay?”

Maddie gave her an incredulous look. “Gracie baby, you have the best ass in our group, of course you look okay. You look stunning, own it.”

Gracelyn blushed heavily, shaking her head with a laugh. The two of them had made quick friends with a few girls down the hallway, and somehow they’d all persuaded Gracelyn to go out to a party tonight. Her first proper college party. Her first proper party in general, if she was being honest.

“You know what I mean. I’ve never…you know I’m not a party girl,” she sighed.

“I’m not a party party girl either. I’m a hang out with my friends kind of girl, with music, and drink we shouldn’t have access to, and we’re going to dance and sing and have fun, okay? If there happen to be cute boys there who stare at your incredible ass, then so be it,” Maddie grinned.

The confidence of this girl was incredible. No-one had ever boosted Gracelyn up like she did either.

“It’s not too much?”

Gracelyn looked back at herself in the full-length mirror that Maddie had brought with her, checking out the deep-red tight dress that clung to her every curve, borrowed from their friend Chanel. If her mother could see her now, she’d have a conniption. Then again…maybe that was a good thing. The Gracelyn Davis of Fayetteville would never have showed off her body like this – yeah, maybe she had a slight pouch on her belly, and maybe her thighs didn’t have a gap, and maybe ass was a bit more of a bubble than she would like…but maybe for the Gracelyn Davis of Boston that was a good thing.

“It’s definitely not too much. How about you throw a leather jacket over the top and wear those comfy black ankle boots, hm? That way it’s not over the top, but still dressy, hm?” Maddie suggested, unwinding her final blonde curl from her curling wand.

That…that was a good suggestion. Thank god for Maddie.

“That sounds good to me,” Gracelyn said shyly.

“Atta girl,” Maddie grinned, “Now help me pick which lipgloss says try anything and I’ll bite.”

Four lip gloss swatches later and the two of them had headed out of their dorm room, Maddie knocking on their friends’ doors until the six of them were on their way to the alleged party, wherever that was.

“Now remember, the hockey guys are all mostly a bit dumb and will probably get a little handsy after a few hours of drinking, so don’t feel like you can’t loudly tell them no. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, stay with a group of us girls, yeah? I’ve heard most of the team are harmless, but there’s bound to be a bad apple or two in the bunch,” Daisy said, rolling her eyes.

Brilliant. That didn’t settle Gracelyn’s nerves at all. Girl time it was.

“How did you find out about the Terriers party anyway Daisy-boo?” Maddie asked, looping her arm through Gracelyn’s.

She clung on with gratitude.

“Eh, this Sophomore was trying to impress the new freshman players – I said I’d think about turning up with a few friends,” Daisy said coolly, her smile sharp.

Again, the confidence. Incredible.

“Treat ‘em mean, I like it,” Jenny snickered.

“He was harmless enough. Sounded like a good excuse for a party anyway, and the upperclassmen are providing booze with the caveat that no-one underage gets super wasted, so I figured why not have our first party in style, right?” Daisy shrugged.

As the rest of the girls sounded their agreement, Gracelyn tried to relax. She knew that her friends wouldn’t let anything happen to her. They already had a game plan for if any of them felt uncomfortable. She didn’t have to drink anything more than what she actually wanted to. She could do this, right?

“Here we are!”

Daisy’s voice broke her out of her thoughts, turning her attention to a large house that already had red solo cups scattered across the lawn and loud music blasting. Maddie squeezed her arm, dropping it so their hands were linked, the other girls pairing off in twos too, making sure that none of them got separated while they wound their way through the crowd. Gracelyn tried not to get overwhelmed at the sheer number of people squeezed into the main living area, managing to smile as Daisy waved flirtatiously at a guy she could only imagine was the Unfortunate Sophomore.

“Let’s get some drinks!” Jenny said loudly, earning cheers from around them.

Gracelyn just stayed silent as beers were passed around, Maddie just winking at her. This was it. This was her first college party. This was her first college beer. She was finally here. She’d made it. So she took a big swig, letting the cool cheap alcohol run down her throat, Maddie just whooping before doing the same with her own drink.

Time seemed to blur together after that. Not in a drunk way, but in a way that everything was so new, so overwhelming, that Gracelyn just let it wash over her. She was trying to follow Maddie’s lead, going with the flow as her New York roommate would say, so by the time she’d finished her third beer, Gracelyn was more than ready for a glass of water and a breather.

Thankfully, Maddie and Daisy had been roped into playing beer pong, which was outside on the back porch, so while the other girls grabbed more beer, Gracelyn grabbed a bottle of water and hopped up on the porch railing to watch. Despite Maddie being eagle-eyed, Daisy was swaying a bit, so this would be interesting.

“Hey, is this space taken?”

Gracelyn turned her head to the sound of the voice, not sure if it was being directed at her or not, only to come face to face with the cutest guy she’d ever seen. Tall – at least 6ft 4, if not 6ft 5 – with broad shoulders, messy dark hair and a sweet smile. Pretty eyes too. He was talking to her?

“Uh, no, go for it. I’m just watching my friends about to play,” she said, jerking her head in the beer pong table’s direction.

“Ah, yeah some of my teammates are about to face them. The blonde girl looks dangerous,” he mused, leaning against the railing himself in the space to her left.

“Oh you have no idea,” Gracelyn grinned, making him laugh.

Actual natural human interaction with a cute guy. Wow.

“I’m Jake,” he said, holding out his hand.

He immediately looked embarrassed at himself for holding out his hand, but the fact that he didn’t backtrack made her smile.

“I’m Gracelyn. Or Gracie, to my friends,” she said, shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you Gracie,” he said, smiling.

Bold. She liked it.

“Not much of a drinker?” he asked.

She frowned until he shook his own cup and looked down at her water bottle, and immediately her cheeks flushed. Was he making fun of her?

“Um, I…”

She trailed off, before clearing her throat. No damn it, she was Gracelyn Davis of Boston now.

“I already had three cups of beer and I didn’t party back home, so I’m trying to pace myself. A little lame maybe but it’s literally first week of freshman year so…” she said, shrugging.

“I feel that,” the guy…Jake nodded, smiling still, “And it’s not lame. It’s my first week of freshman year too and I know that the freshmen will be clearing up tomorrow morning, so I don’t want to be horrendous after my first team party.”

He was a freshman too? Built like that? And he was a hockey player? Damn, what was he doing talking to her?

“Ouch, I’m sorry you have to clean up,” she said, grimacing as right-on-cue someone threw up over the porch railing a little ways down from them.

Jake grimaced himself, before shaking his head. “It’ll be worth it to play on the team.”

“Go Terriers?” she offered.

Jake just laughed, throwing his head back. Damn. Damn he looked so good.

“Alright boys, you’re going down!” Maddie said loudly.

The crowd cheered and whooped, Gracelyn and Jake included. Daisy took her first throw, immediately sinking the ball into a cup, clearly more sober than she looked. What a hustler - this was going to be a messy one. The freshman hockey player groaned but laughed, drinking the beer in the targeted cup down in one go, earning more cheers for himself.

“I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing more of each other, Gracie,” Jake said, smiling wide.

For some reason, she had a feeling that he was right.

~~~

May 2020.

Yeah, Jake was…Jake was different. Right from that first night, that first meeting, the two of them had stayed in touch, slowly becoming friends through texting as well as more hockey team parties. Maddie and their friends always dragged her along to any party at the hockey house, especially when Daisy started hooking up with the Unfortunate Sophomore, and the more she went to, the more she actually looked forward to them, mainly because at some point in the evening Jake would find her and the rest was history.

He wasn’t a rowdy dumbass like the other college players he lived with. Sure, she was cautious, a little introverted, always hesitant, but Jake was sweet and kind and patient, and never pushed her more than she was socially capable of in the moment. Maybe it helped that he was a goaltender – which she’d found out the second time she met him because someone dared him to show off his box splits and he did so without hesitation – because he was so different to all his friends, but she liked it.

She liked him.

He was a little more focused, more responsible maybe for his age, but still encouraged her to come out of her shell. Over those first few months, she found herself slipping out of her old social binds of Gracelyn Davis from Fayetteville and into her new self of Gracelyn Davis of Boston, and so much of it was because of him.

That’s why it hurt so much still, when everything changed.

There were so many memories of their friendship over the years, entwined with those memories of Gracelyn and her girlfriends, more than she dared to think about while she attempted to make a start on packing up her college life. She still had over a week left on campus, until after commencement weekend, but that didn’t mean she could put everything off until last minute. That just wasn’t the way her brain worked.

She could at least make a start on closing this chapter of her life.

But in the first shoebox she moved off of one of her shelves, she found a couple dozen polaroids, all ones she’d taken off being pinned on her noticeboard in Junior year – all ones of her and Jake. All photos of memories that made her heart ache all over again, flashing across her mind as she continued to look through them one by one.

~~~

November 2016.

“Hey, do you want to take a walk?”

Gracelyn looked up from her notebook, seeing Jake standing in the doorway of her dorm room.

“How did you get up here?” she asked, placing her pen and paper to the side with a smile.

“I bumped into Chanel and Luisa on the way through,” he shrugged, “They said you’ve been studying in here since your last class ended, and, uh, encouraged me to do something to change that.”

Yeah that sounded like Chanel and Luisa. Meddlers. Her friends weren’t wrong though – she really had been studying in her room since her last class ended, knowing that Maddie was still out in a class of her own and there was a movie night on campus later, so she wanted to get ahead of herself. It was only month three of freshman year after all – she couldn’t afford to get behind yet.

Still…a small break couldn’t hurt right?

“You want to go for a walk?” she mused.

“Yeah, it’s not snowing out so I thought it might be nice?” he said, smiling shyly.

Oh what a sweetheart. In what world would she say no to that?

“And you’re asking little old me?” she grinned, kicking off her slippers.

“You’re one of my best friends Gracie, you know that. And you’re definitely the only sane one,” he said, shrugging with a smile.

Well that much was true.

“I’m in,” she laughed.

It didn’t take her long to slip into more appropriate boots for the weather, as well as a thick coat, knitted hat and gloves to help out with the cold, and soon enough the two of them were walking out of campus along the Charles River.

“So what’s really going on?” Gracelyn asked, when the crowds around them had thinned out to only a couple of people.

Jake opened his mouth to protest, before closing it again with a huffed laugh. “You can read me that easily, huh?”

“You’ve got a pretty expressive face,” she shrugged, although made sure to smile so he knew she didn’t mean it as a bad thing, “And you’ve never wanted to just go on a walk before. Not that I mind, obviously – it’s always good to get fresh air and you know I like hanging out with you – I just hope that nothing bad has happened?”

He quickly shook his head but then grimaced, wiggling his hand to indicate it was something so-so. Hm. This was going to take more than their usual casual talking, she could tell.

“Do you want to grab a coffee and find somewhere to sit?” she suggested.

“Sure.”

It didn’t take long to pick up a couple of lattes each, and even less time to find an isolated snow-free stone bench to sit on, not far from the Hatch Shell, and by that point Jake looked a little less tense.

“Thank you, Gracie,” he murmured.

“For what?” she asked, confused, “we haven’t even started talking properly yet.”

“You’re giving me the chance to get something off my chest that I haven’t been able to bring up to anyone else. Or that I feel I can bring up to anyone else. I appreciate it, that’s all,” Jake shrugged, taking a sip of his drink.

“Well now I’m worried,” she said, trying to make it a joke to hide her true concern.

What was wrong with him? Was he sick? He couldn’t be failing any classes, right?

She waited in silence for him to gather his thoughts, taking in the sight of the river slowly flowing by, until Jake finally cleared his throat.

“There’s been scouts coming to hockey games. NHL scouts, for me, following on from my time in the NTDP,” he said softly.

“Okay. Okay, that’s a good thing, right?” she said, frowning slightly.

She may not know much about ice hockey or the NHL or the NTDP, but she did know how important it all was to Jake. So what was the issue?

“I guess? But…it’s also so much pressure.”

Oh.

Oh bless his heart.

“I can understand that. That does sound like a lot of pressure. What exactly is worrying you about it?” she asked.

The more she understood, the more she could help, right?

Jake let out a shaky breath, looking down at his hands for a moment, before lifting his head to look out over the river in front of them.

“I’m nervous. Playing in the NHL…it’s all I’ve ever wanted. And it’s so hard to even be considered as a goaltender in the big leagues so the fact that they’re looking at me? Assessing me? It’s a lot,” he explained, voice quiet, “And it’s not like I can even talk to the rest of the team about how nervous it makes me either.”

Because so many of the guys won’t get a shot in the NHL like the scouts are considering for him.

Oh this sweet hearted boy.

What really made her sad though was the look of hesitance tainted with self-deprecation in his eyes. He didn’t deserve to look or feel like that, not ever.

“Hey, Jake, will you look at me?” Gracelyn asked.

It took a couple of seconds but he eventually did, emotion splashed all over his face.

“I know it’s scary. And I know it makes you nervous. This is your dream, and you’re pouring your whole self into it. But, Jake, these scouts wouldn’t be coming if you weren’t already proving how good you were, right?”

“I mean…”

He trailed off, wiggling his hand so-so again, making her shake her head.

“I mean it, Jake. If there wasn’t something in your gameplay that they liked, they wouldn’t be coming to see you. Just show them what you’ve got. You don’t have to be anyone other than yourself, okay? You’re Jake Oettinger, badass Terrier and incredible goaltender, and there’s nothing you can’t do,” she said firmly.

Jake choked out a laugh, hanging his head briefly before looking back at her. She chose to ignore the way his eyes were shining slightly.

“How do you always know exactly what to say?” he murmured.

Gracelyn just smiled, a light blush dusting her cheeks. “Well I don’t know about that…but I’m always here for you, whenever you need me.”

“So all I need to do to get your undivided attention is to text you, meet you at our spot?” he grinned.

Her blush deepened, traitorous butterflies filling her stomach.

“This is our spot?” she said, voice far breathier than she cared to admit.

“It is now,” he shrugged, “just you and me.”

Well damn, she liked the sound of that. Did he even know how that came across? What it implied?

“Alright, deal,” she nodded, trying to keep her cool.

“Besides, I can’t have you sharing your wisdom with everyone, right? Gotta keep some of that good magic all for myself. God knows I need all the help I can get. You don’t mind, right?” he grinned.

She couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from her chest, her head tilting back as it rang out loud and clear. His teasing request was more than a little shameless – with anyone else she would’ve been put off by the audacity, but with Jake? It was just charming, endearing her to him more than ever. When she’d finally composed herself, Jake had a slightly stunned look on his face – probably from the vivacity of her laughter – so she just smiled widely at him. How could she not?

“You truly are one of a kind, Jake Oettinger,” she giggled, finishing the last of her coffee.

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” he said, giving a little shrug as he grinned.

Like she could ever insult him.

“We should take a photo,” Jake said suddenly, digging in his coat pocket.

“What?”

“To keep this memory, of finding ‘our’ place. Of you giving me the advice I needed. Of me making you laugh like that for the first time,” Jake explained, making her smile at his enthusiastic listing, “one of the guys bought a bunch of cheap polaroid cameras at the weekend and I still have one in my pocket.”

“Well in that case…” she teased.

Jake just laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulder, guiding her to lean into his body. Gracelyn just tilted her knitted hat-covered head to rest against his and threw up a peace sign, smiling widely as Jake raised the camera in his hand. FLASH. She blinked a couple of times, listening to the camera whirring, but smiled softly to herself as Jake kept his arm around her. She appreciated the warmth from his body, if nothing else. With his free hand, he dropped the camera in his lap and pulled free the developing polaroid, shaking it a few times until the picture started to become clearer.

“Oh yeah, that’s a good one,” Jake said happily, handing it over for her to see.

Gracelyn felt her breath hitch in her chest as she looked at their photo. Their matching wide smiles alone showed her exactly how happy he’d been in that moment, but the fact that it was with her? That was everything. She didn’t even know what to say.

“I love it,” she eventually managed to murmur.

“Then it’s all yours,” Jake said simply.

“What? No, it’s your camera,” she said, shaking her head.

But Jake just squeezed her shoulder, nudging her with his chest. “I insist. We’ll have years yet to take more photos together.”

She could only hope. Gracelyn just nodded silently, sliding the photo into her pocket with a grateful smile, leaning back into his chest as he put the camera back into his pocket without moving his arm from round her shoulders still. As her heart started beating all that little bit faster, she knew she was in trouble. She may not be particularly experienced in the nature of romance, but she knew from friends, old and new, what it was like to get a crush on someone.

How could she not start falling for him in this exact moment?

Gracelyn had always promised herself to keep her guard up, especially around her heart. Her parents’ relationship was toxic enough, their marriage fuelled by arguments and spite and cold disdain, and she’d always sworn to herself that she would never end up like them. There was a reason why she had no intention of going back home for Thanksgiving or the Christmas break. But being here with Jake right now? Tucked under his arm with him holding her against his chest after all those sweet words? It was dangerous, for her emotions and her resolve.

If she didn’t get this under control soon, there was no telling the damage this crush could do.

~~~

June 2017.

Gracelyn had been dreading June 23rd ever since she learned how significant the day was. Significant to Jake, anyway. Today was the first day of the 2017 NHL draft, and she already knew that Jake was predicted to go decently high in the first round – Gracelyn Davis of Fayetteville hadn’t a clue about any of this but Gracelyn Davis of Boston now knew all too much – so she could only imagine how stressed he was today already. Over the rest of freshman year, she’d gotten more and more into watching hockey, mainly because of Jake asking her to come to games as his ‘good luck charm’, so she knew that scouts had been following him for quite some time still. Spending so much time with him this year – including studying, brunches, parties, and campus events, on top of all the games she’d gone to – hadn’t lessened her crush in the slightest, but things were definitely much more manageable. She knew what she could and couldn’t handle, and it helped that she knew Jake had no idea how she felt either, so their friendship had only gone from strength to strength.

Today could change everything. She didn’t know if she was ready for that.

While Jake and his family were in Chicago ready for the draft day, Gracelyn was at her summer job – administration at the West Virginia Science Adventures summer day camps, right there in Fayetteville. She worked 9-4 every day, helping to make sure that everything ran smoothly, and it meant that she was out of her house essentially all day, which could only ever be a good thing. That, and it also allowed her to surreptitiously listen to the broadcast of Jake’s draft day while she was typing up the stock request forms that her supervisor needed from her.

She took her time typing, making sure everything was meticulous while she listened to the draft picks start getting called.

And then came the 26th pick, from the Dallas Stars.

“From Boston University, Jake Oettinger.”

There it was. He’d done it! The first goalie of the 2017 draft was picked, and it was him! She couldn’t stop the happy squeal that left her lips, glad that no-one else was in the office cabin right now, especially since she couldn’t help the stupid smile on her face or the tears in her eyes.

Jake had been drafted to the NHL, just as he’d always dreamed. It was everything he’d ever wanted, and he deserved it so much, and even though she knew it meant he was leaving her behind, how could she not be proud of him?

To: Jake From: Gracelyn You did it! Congratulations! I’m so proud of you! I told you that everything would pay off! I know you’re busy so don’t worry about texting back. But just know that I am so so happy for you, okay? Speak to you later ❤️

With a breathy laugh, she put her phone down, exiting out of her messages and turning off the broadcast. She didn’t care what else happened in the draft – she only cared about Jake. Now that was done, she could get on with her job without feeling guilty, even if the buzzing in her veins kept that smile on her face for the rest of her day.

It wasn’t until Gracelyn was home that she got a message back from Jake, after she’d cooked and eaten dinner by herself and was relaxing with a book in her bedroom.

To: Gracelyn From: Jake Thank you so much Gracie. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling. This is crazy. I actually got drafted. The Stars drafted me! I’m still committing to BU, for more development, but I can’t believe they want me!

Gracelyn frowned slightly at the reply from Jake, confused. He wasn’t going straight to Dallas? He was staying in Boston? Why?

To: Jake From: Gracelyn I thought you wanted to jump right into the NHL? That’s the dream right? Don’t get me wrong, I will miss you. But this is your dream?

Gracelyn chewed her bottom lip while she waited for him to reply, rereading over the same few pages until her phone buzzed a few more times. She felt so stupid for the way her heart was beating like crazy…but this was important. This was Jake.

To: Gracelyn From: Jake Oh you’re not getting rid of me that easily, Gracie Davis. This is definitely the right thing for me right now, and I know the Stars will understand. Boston is still where I need to be right now, so you’ll see me in September! ❤️

Well if that was what he wanted, she wasn’t going to complain. Still, it would only be a matter of time before Jake took his dream in both hands and leapt for it, so she would have to make the most of the time she had with him. That was all she could hope for, right?

~~~

September 2017.

“See, I told you I’d come back.”

Gracelyn jumped at the familiar deep voice, her friends just cackling at her reaction to Jake silently creeping up behind her, but she found herself smiling at him as she turned around to face him properly.

“One of these days you’re going to give me a heart attack with this sneaking up behind me,” she mused, hands on hips.

“Well we wouldn’t want that, would we?” Jake grinned.

With that, he slung his arm around her shoulder, tugging her into a hug which she returned happily, hiding her blushing face in his chest slightly before pulling away. Jake didn’t drop his arm from over her shoulders though, making Maddie smirk at her, and Gracelyn could only be grateful that Jake seemed not to notice.

“Alright superstar, let’s get some food,” Gracelyn said, sighing dramatically.

“I missed you too, Gracelyn Davis,” Jake laughed.

I missed you more, Jake Oettinger.

“WELCOME BACK PARTY AT THE HOCKEY HOUSE!”

The crowd around them whooped, Luisa and Daisy looking particularly happy about the potential frivolity, whereas Gracelyn just smiled at the interruption.

“You and Maddie are still rooming together this year, right?” Jake murmured, leaning down so only she could hear him among the ruckus.

He remembered them talking about that?

It was true though – Gracelyn and all her friends had decided to move out of freshman dorms and get neighbouring apartments in the dorm buildings available for Sophomore students. Maddie and Gracelyn had decided to stay sharing a dorm, whereas Luisa and Daisy were roommates now, as were Chanel and Jenny. It was an arrangement that worked perfectly for them, and she couldn’t wait to actually have all of her friends living together.

“Yeah we are, why?” she said softly in return.

“Well I know that you’ll definitely be coming to the party if your girls are there to persuade you,” Jake teased.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “I would’ve come anyway.”

“You would?” Jake asked, surprised.

There were so many things she could’ve said in that moment, both innocent and incriminating, but in the end she chose just to shrug. It was the safest option.

“Food! Let’s go!” Maddie said cheerfully.

As her roommate linked their arms together, Jake’s arm slipped off her shoulders, making Gracelyn look up at him properly. “Are you coming, Jake?”

“Yeah, of course,” he said, nodding quickly.

After eating lunch and hanging out for a few hours, Jake and some of his lingering friends went back to the team house to set up for the party, leaving Gracelyn and her friends to get ready. Just like freshman year, their first party of Sophomore year was going to be at the hockey house, so they spent their time getting all dressed up in pretty eye-catching dresses (with a little pregaming, thanks to the stock they’d all brought along from home), and by the time they arrived at the hockey team house the party was in full swing.

Gracelyn spotted Jake easily, and he waved enthusiastically at her from across the room, making her friends laugh and pull her into the kitchen to get drinks of their own. Over the next few hours, Gracelyn and her friends alternated between drinking in the kitchen and dancing on the make-shift living room dancefloor, celebrating the return to college and the start of the new school year. It was everything she’d missed about Boston, having fun with her friends, finally feeling like she was back where she belonged.

Soon enough though, Gracelyn needed to make a trip to the bathroom, leaving her friends where they were in the kitchen and heading upstairs to the nicer of the bathrooms that Jake had always let her use. But on her return trip downstairs, her path was blocked in the front corridor, by a guy she didn’t recognise. He was taller than her, bigger than her, and much drunker than her – she could smell the beer on his breath from a few feet away but even more so as he stepped even closer.

“Well hello. I haven’t seen you around before,” he drawled.

What the hell?

“I’m a sophomore. I’m not new,” she frowned, confused.

“Shh, sweetheart, don’t talk so much. Why don’t we get to know each other a little better, hm? That ass of yours? Damn.”

What the actual fuck.

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not interested,” Gracie said shortly.

“Don’t be like that baby, I’m a real nice guy,” he grinned.

The sleaze dripped off of his words like oil, making her recoil, but it was as she moved to step around him that he grabbed her arm, holding her in place. Fuck. Oh fuck.

“Let’s try again, hm?”

“No,” she said shakily.

“No-one says no to me. You should be nicer to guys that show you interest, you know.”

Gracelyn just froze in place, mind blank and body stiff. This had never happened before, being confronted like this, and it didn’t matter how much advice she’d been given over the years, it all had flown away in the moment.

She took a deep breath, ready to yell out for help, when a familiar large body appeared by her side. Jake. She felt like crying in relief, even more so as her friend easily knocked the drunk guy’s hand off her arm.

“She’s not interested. Move on, bud,” Jake said firmly, stepping up close, making the guy look up at him with a glare.

“Back off man, I was here first,” the creep slurred.

What the actual fuck. She wasn’t prize cattle at an auction.

“I said no,” Gracelyn repeated.

With her desperate glance up at him, Jake clenched his jaw and his fists, drawing himself up to his full height as he pushed himself between Gracelyn and the creep.

“Last chance. Fuck off,” Jake said angrily.

It was all she could do to clutch at the back of his tshirt, hands shaking and heart racing.

“Whatever man, she’s ugly anyway,” the guy scowled.

She inhaled sharply as a pang of hurt ran through her chest, only to gasp out louder as Jake lurched forward, pinning the guy to the opposite wall with his forearm across his throat.

“Apologise, asshole. You’re not worth the air she breathes,” Jake all but growled.

The creep choked a little, trying to get Jake’s arm off him, and it was only then that Gracelyn noticed the crowd that was starting to form around them.

“Hey, Jake, he isn’t worth it. Don’t get in trouble because of this scumbag,” she pleaded, resting her hand on his shoulder.

Jake looked down at her with pursed lips, waited a beat or two, before nodding. She let out a shaky breath as Jake shoved the guy into the wall one last time before stepping backwards, still standing himself in front of her.

“Stay away from her, you hear me?” Jake demanded.

“Whatever freak,” the guy muttered, storming off.

Jake’s frame tensed but Gracelyn just reached for his forearm, desperate for Jake not to follow after him. The last thing she wanted was for her friend to get into a fight because of her. The creep wasn’t worth it. She wasn’t worth it.

“What was that all about?”

Jake turned around to see his captain frowning behind them as the crowd dispersed, and scowled again.

“That guy wouldn’t leave Gracie alone when she told him no. Was making her uncomfortable, a real fucking creep,” Jake muttered, clenching his hands for a moment again.

“Oh shit, for real? Damn, Gracelyn, sorry about that. I’ll make sure he’s kicked out,” Jake’s captain frowned.

What?

But before she could voice her confusion, the Senior walked off, leaving Gracelyn and Jake alone.

“He’s got a no tolerance policy for sexual harassment,” Jake murmured.

Well…that explained a few things. But still…

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“I think so? I just…I froze. Everything about that guy screamed at me to run away and all I could do was freeze,” she sighed, running a shaky hand through her hair, “I feel so stupid.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. So not stupid at all. I hate that you ever experienced this at all, you know? You should never…”

She could see his anger rising again and did the only thing she could think of. She quickly wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug, burying her face in his shirt, just letting herself breathe and willing him to calm his anger back down. Jake froze briefly in surprise before quickly hugging her back, clutching at her firmer than she’d anticipated.

“Thank you, Jake. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there,” she murmured.

Jake stiffened at her words before nodding, squeezing her body before letting go to look down at her properly.

“I’m glad we never have to find out what could’ve happened. I’m pretty sure you would’ve snapped and decked him, Gracie Davis, just as he deserved, but I’m glad I could at least help,” Jake said firmly.

She laughed softly but shrugged. “You did more than help. Superstar and knight in shining armour? I’m glad you’re in my life hey?”

Jake huffed out a laugh and slung his arm over her shoulder as usual, guiding them both into the kitchen towards the beer keg.

“I told you you’re not getting rid of me that easily. I meant it,” he said, smiling sweetly down at her, “So let’s get back to the party as it should be, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. I think Maddie’s about to kick some ass in beer pong if you wanted to watch?” she mused.

“Just like when we met a year ago. Perfect,” Jake grinned.

~~~

March 2019.

Jake didn’t leave for Texas in Sophomore year. Didn’t sign an entry level contact, didn’t leave Boston, didn’t leave the Terriers. Didn’t leave Gracelyn. All throughout the school year, they only got closer and closer, somehow spending even more time together than they did previously – any time that Gracelyn wasn’t with her friends or studying (and even then, sometimes she was studying with Jake), the two of them could usually be found together. It seemed like the welcome back party of Sophomore year triggered something protective in Jake, and he always made sure that she was okay wherever they went, even to the point of scaring off guys regardless of whether they were being creeps or not. Her friends – especially Maddie – called Jake a cockblock, but it wasn’t like Gracelyn protested at all. Her crush on Jake hadn't lessened at all, so why would she be interested in other guys? Especially if Jake wanted to be by her side.

He was always her partner in study groups, in beer pong, in video games, and he always sat next to her when they went out for food, to the movies, to campus events. She was even pretty sure that some of the freshmen on his team thought they were actually dating, considering how often they asked her where he was if they couldn’t find him.

As she said, she wasn’t going to complain. She had Jake in her life in ways that she never could’ve hoped for – and the longer he didn’t leave Boston to sign a contract with the Stars, the more her confidence built, waiting for a moment when she felt sure enough to actually tell him how she felt. It was a lofty goal, but each day that passed, she got a little closer.

When Jake was named an alternate captain prior to the 2018-2019 season, her hope soared.

Throughout the start of Junior year, Jake’s responsibilities to the team kept him longer at practices, longer in team meetings, but that didn’t mean he didn’t put in the extra effort with Gracelyn still, even going as far as to stay behind in Boston with her for Thanksgiving to spend that time together that they hadn’t really been able to. Her friends all thought she was nuts for not just confessing, but she was still too scared. So scared to lose him, the most important relationship in her life, the most important friendship, so she continued to stay silent, just grateful for whatever time that her friendship with Jake could afford her.

She knew that he appreciated her – he always made sure she knew it – and she knew that she wouldn’t trade what they had right now for anything, unless she knew for sure that it wasn’t going to all blow up in her face.

She had to know, before she took that risk.

Before Gracelyn knew it, it was the beginning of March, with Spring Break coming up right around the corner. Maddie was out to lunch with her boyfriend Jackson (business major – a little dry, but adored her friend), so Gracelyn was finishing off a paper in her room alone, having spent some time with her other girlfriends that morning over coffee. She was just finishing off her last editing readthrough when her dorm door was knocked on, in a familiar pattern that made her smile.

“Come in Jake! The door’s unlocked!”

Gracelyn hit save on the word document before closing her laptop, Jake walking into the room quickly. The serious look on his face made her heart clench a little, even more so as he sat down next to her on the bed in silence.

“Hey Gracie, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“Of course not. What’s up?” she asked, worried.

“I just…I wanted to tell you before I told anyone else. Well, other than coach, but yeah.”

She knew it.

“Tell me what?” she asked as lightly as she could, feigning ignorance as he sat down beside her.

“I signed a three-year entry level contact with the Stars last weekend. And I’m heading to Texas to play in the AHL in a few days time.”

She was too late.

“Oh Jake that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you! But it’s happening quick, no?”

Jake huffed out a laugh, nodding as he smiled weakly at her. “It happened a lot faster than I thought. But my agent said this is the best option for me, to start my hockey career off. I’ve got to follow my dream, you know?”

Even if it meant leaving her behind. She’d been prepared for this for a long time. That didn’t make it hurt any less. But this wasn’t about her – this was about him, and everything he’d worked for, and everything he still had to work for in the future.

“Of course you do, Jake. Anyone that tells you differently is an ass. Follow your dreams and don’t look back, hey?”

It was only then that he noticed the tears in her eyes and quickly shook his head. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Gracie Davis. You’re one of my best friends, and I’m not losing you. I can’t.”

She choked out a wet noise, half laugh half sob, and just shook her head.

“You go and be the superstar that you are destined to be, okay?” she said, smiling sadly at him, “The rest of us will figure out the rest.”

Jake pulled her into the tightest hug he ever had done, burying his face in her dark hair.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life.”

Gracelyn just stayed silent, letting her tears fall.

~~~

May 2020.

She never did tell him how she felt. He never did find out how much she loved him. Maybe it was for the best, when their texts slowed over the summer of 2019, because by the time Gracelyn had started up her final year of college in the September of 2019, she’d hardened up her heart enough to make it through the year without him.

She hadn’t realised how much of Boston she associated with Jake until he was gone.

The pizza place where she and her girlfriends would meet up with the hockey team after a winning game. The coffee cart they always picked up a coffee to go before lectures or study sessions or hangouts on the quad. The amazing smoothie bar that didn’t actually overcharge students and gave decent portion sizes. The little independent cinema that always smelled like burnt popcorn and only ever had two films running at one time. The Terriers ice hockey games in general. Even the yoga classes where Jake would maintain – and show off – his flexibility had become a no-go for her, which felt ridiculous the more she thought about it.

Gracelyn particularly avoided ‘their spot’ near the Hatch Shell along the Charles River, the place they’d gone to at least once a week for nearly two and a half years, unable to get all of the time spent relaxing there together out of her head, the time they would just sit and watch the world go by.

Two and a half years of friendship, gone with the wind – and she never expected to see him again. How was she supposed to cope with that?

She knew all of her friends worried about her, hated how she retreated into her shell throughout the whole of Senior year. Gracelyn did try to keep up her life as it had been before, going to parties like she used to, hockey games with her friends, but after a particularly awkward party at the hockey house in November, Gracelyn was done.

After a mild intervention before the winter break with Maddie, Luisa, Jenny, Chanel, and Daisy, following a couple of weeks of complete hermit behaviour, Gracelyn made a compromise – she would no longer go to parties or have anything to do with the hockey team, but would still go to everything else. She just couldn’t – she and Jake had always found their way together, talking off to the side away from the chaos of that side of her old social life, and for all the parties she’d attempted to go to in September to November, she’d struggled more than she’d expected – so that was her bottom line, it had to be a big no.

So life went on – Gracelyn went to all the fun campus events she used to, still went out for lunches and dinners and girls nights and all the things she’d always done with hers friends, but for her own sanity she had to stop the major things that she associated with Jake. It was the only way she was going to get through her Senior year, the only way she was going to get through her heartbreak that wasn’t even really heartbreak.

At least studying for her final papers, her final exams, gave her all the genuine excuses she needed not have that social side of herself any more anyway.

When it came to finishing off her final week of exams in May, Gracelyn was drained. She pushed herself to her limits, maybe even further than she should’ve done, andby the time she stumbled back to her dorm after her final exam, it was all she could do to collapse onto her bed into a much-needed nap.

It wasn’t until hours later that a gentle hand shook her awake, the smell of Thai food filling nose.

“Wakey wakey sleeping beauty, I’ve brought dinner,” Maddie grinned.

Gracelyn blearily opened her eyes, sitting upright with more difficulty than she expected, accepting the offered food with a thankful groan that just made her friend laugh. The two of them ate quietly, the open window giving them the ambience of campus, and Gracelyn found herself smiling as she relaxed for what felt like the first time in ages.

“You’ve finished your final exam now, right?”

Gracelyn just nodded, smiling through the noodles in her mouth, making Maddie laugh. She knew that her roommate had finished two days ago, seeing as Gracelyn’s exams were some of the last of all the Seniors.

“So…there’s a hockey house party tonight…”

Gracelyn stopped chewing, narrowing her eyes, to which Maddie just laughed and held her hands up in surrender.

“I know you haven’t been to parties all year. Not since…he left. But this is our last big blow-out, you know? And you shouldn’t let a dumb boy ruin the last big college party, right?”

Gracelyn huffed out a breath, setting her food down to the side, just running a hand through her dishevelled hair. Parties just hadn’t been the same since Jake left in Junior year, especially not ones at the hockey house – she’d stopped going to them for a reason.

But maybe Maddie was right. Jake wasn’t here. He’d left. She was still here and she was graduating and she shouldn’t let herself feel so sour when she’d worked so hard. Fuck it. This was her last week of college – she wasn’t going to hold herself back any more.

“I’m going to need to shower. And shave my legs. And I have no idea what to wear,” Gracelyn eventually said.

Maddie just squealed, clapping her hands together.

“Go and shower now. Shave everything. Leave the outfit to me and the girls. Tonight is going to be the best night ever, okay?” Maddie said happily, whipping out her phone, no doubt to text their friends of the plans.

“Can I at least finish my food first?”

Maddie just laughed, not even looking up from where she was typing.

So Gracelyn took a shower, shaved, primped, and dressed up in clothes she hadn’t worn in months. The girls all rallied around her while they got ready too, all chipping in with her hair and make-up, making her heart clench in gratitude for her incredible friends and their love. The evening, the party, was going to be the best, just as Maddie had promised. She could feel it in her bones.

She knew that a few of her former social crowd glanced at her in surprise as their group walked through the hockey house, but Maddie didn’t give her a chance to get self-conscious in the grey bodycon dress, pressing a shot of vodka and a beer into her hands with a big smile.

“We’re graduating, motherfuckers!”

Jenny’s whoop raised a loud cheer in the kitchen, more shots being passed around quickly, and it allowed Gracelyn to relax a little in the familiar atmosphere, almost like nothing had changed at all. The whole evening passed in a blur of dancing and drinking and laughter and beer pong, Gracelyn sinking into the support of her girlfriends to let loose, finally shaking off all the tension and stress of the past few weeks of exams. Of the past year, if she was being honest.

It wasn’t until after 1am that the group separated out a little bit, Daisy and Gracelyn on the makeshift dancefloor with the other scattered through the kitchen, bathroom and outside. The two of them sang along to the upbeat Megan Thee Stallion song, dancing free and wild, until a cute guy shyly approached Daisy, dancing with her briefly before whispering in her ear and making Daisy giggle. Then her friend looked over to her, and Gracelyn knew exactly what she was silently asking.

“Go! Go make-out!” Gracelyn grinned, shooing Daisy away teasingly.

Her friend just giggled and smiled her thanks, slinking off deeper into the crowd with the cute guy, making her smile. Why shouldn’t her friend have a little fun, hey?

Gracelyn moved out to the edge of the dancefloor and glanced around the room, trying to spot Maddie or Luisa or Chanel or Jenny, but the person her eyes landed on instead made her audibly gasp. This wasn’t real. He wasn’t here. How could he be here?

What the hell. What was he doing here? Why was he back in Boston, after all this time? Why was he here right now at the same party was her?

Was she dreaming?

Then Jake turned his head and spotted her too, smiling widely.

No this was definitely a nightmare. Gracelyn couldn’t move as he walked over towards her, and it was all she could do to force a smile on her face as he stopped in front of her, towering over her as he always had.

“Hey Gracie. It’s been a while.”

Yeah no shit.

His sweet smile and gentle voice still sent shivers down her spine though.

“What are you doing here?” she asked coolly.

“I wanted to surprise everyone. I know I couldn’t finish off my degree here but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to see everyone graduate.”

Wanted to surprise everyone? See everyone graduate?

Was he even going to tell her he was there?

Obviously not.

“Well it was nice to see you, Jake. Good luck next season,” she said, smiling politely.

The confused expression on his face, paired with his flinch at her tone of voice, almost made her defensive walls crumble down – but she’d made that mistake before, letting her guard down around him. Three years she spent letting him slowly take over her heart, and she knew that if she let him in one last time that she’d never recover. She just couldn’t handle it again.

“Gracie, wait,” he murmured, reaching out towards her.

Hearing her nickname fall from his lips was almost enough to stop her, but she stepped back ever so slightly out of his grasp, enough that his confusion turned to hurt.

“Goodbye, Jake,” she said softly.

And with that, she made herself walk off, heading straight for the kitchen, hoping to find someone, anyone, because by the time she’d steadied her breathing through the house, she was done. She was so done, with the hockey house, with the party, with the whole night. It was all she could do to force a smile on her face when she found a few of her friends in the kitchen – Maddie, Chanel, and Luisa – Maddie’s eyes immediately narrowing at her expression.

“Hey, I’m exhausted, it’s been such a long day. I’m going to head back to the dorms,” Gracelyn announced.

It was just past 2am now, so it wasn’t like she was being a killjoy. Chanel and Luisa booed teasingly, making her huff out a laugh, whereas Maddie just smiled sadly. Her best friend always knew how to read her mind.

“Do you want company on the walk back?” Maddie offered.

“No, no, it’s okay, please stay and enjoy the last hockey house party. The fresh air will do me good. Thank you though,” Gracelyn said, shaking her head.

She would always be grateful for Maddie.

“Brunch tomorrow, yes?” Chanel said, smiling as she pointed a taloned-fingernail faux-threateningly.

“Of course!” Gracelyn laughed, making the rest of the girls laugh too. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

With a round of hugs and the promise to text when she arrived back at the dorm, Gracelyn left the hockey house for the last time. She hated that tears were stinging at her eyes, closing yet another metaphorical and physical door, so she wasted no time in just starting to walk away, letting her feet guide her. By the time she’d managed to compose herself, she realised she’d somehow walked out to the Charles River, all the way down to her old spot with Jake near the Hatch Shell, and she just felt like crying for real this time.

Why here? Why now? Why did this have to be the ending of her college years?

She managed to blink the tears back as she sat down on their usual…old stone bench, just in time to hear footsteps coming towards her. Her heart clenched in her chest as she snapped her head in that direction, only to see Jake jogging towards her, his cheeks flushed and his eyes wild.

“Gracie! I was looking everywhere in the house for you. But when Maddie told me you left, I knew you’d end up here,” he said, breathless but relieved.

Maddie told him? That meddler. Gracelyn felt a lump rise in her throat at his words though. What did that even mean? What was he doing? Why did he even care?

“What do you want?” she asked, frowning.

“I wanted to see you. Wanted to talk to you. I couldn’t leave Boston again without talking to you. It’s kind of perfect that it’s by our old spot – I can’t get the memories of this place out of my head.”

November 2016.

“We should take a photo,” Jake said suddenly, digging in his coat pocket.

“What?”

“Well in that case…” she teased.

“Oh, well if you want to talk now, then go ahead!” Gracelyn said sharply.

Jake flinched again at her harsh tone of voice, looking even more confused than before.

“Why…what do you mean?”

“I haven’t heard from you in over a year. You stopped replying to my texts, you hurt me. But it’s all good now that you’ve shown up again and declared you want to talk, right? So go ahead. Talk. Tell me why you think you can just reappear in my life after leaving me alone,” Gracelyn said angrily.

The moment that the ranting words left her lips, she regretted them, even more so at the upset look on Jake’s face. Here it was, what she’d always feared would happen. She wished she could use the beer and shots as an excuse but she knew they were barely a factor after all of the dancing. She’d pushed too far this time. He was actually going to say goodbye for good. And why wouldn’t he? That’s what everyone else important in her life had always done.

Braced myself for the goodbye, 'Cause that's all I've ever known.

“I’ll never leave you alone again.”

His sudden words broke her out of her swirling thoughts.

“What?”

“I should never have left you behind, not without telling you how I feel about you.”

What the hell.

“Jake…”

“I have been such an idiot, Gracie. Such a coward. I remember how it felt sitting by the water here with you, letting the world pass by like nothing else mattered, like it was just you and me in our own little world. That first time we were here? I made you laugh, and your laugh was the best thing I’d ever heard. The smile you sent me after you’d stopped laughing made my heart beat like crazy. I wanted to kiss you right then and there, but I chickened out. Every time I looked at you after that, it was like the first time all over again. I don’t know when it happened, probably moments after I met you, but I fell in love with you a long time ago, and I wanted to tell you so many times. I should’ve told you, but I was so scared to ruin everything. Turns out me not saying anything ruined us anyway.”

His words washed over her like a wave, overwhelming in their honesty and emotion, and the more he spoke, the more Gracelyn felt like crying. This was how he felt about her? After all this time?

He was in love with her too?

He wasn’t saying goodbye?

“You loved me?” she managed to whisper.

Jake swallowed heavily but nodded, eyes starting to fill with hope. “Love. Present tense. I still love you, and I am so sorry for being too much of a coward to tell you last year. Am I too late?”

“Too late?” she asked, confused.

“Too late to have a chance with you?”

Oh.

“Jake, I…I don’t even know what to say. I’ve spent this whole last year trying to repair myself after you left with barely a goodbye, and now you just…you want to give us a chance? Just like that?”

The guilt that washed over Jake’s face sent a pang through her body, but she stayed silent, waiting for him to speak. She needed to know. He needed to tell her.

“I know you’ve guarded your heart. I know it’s for good reasons. But we’re not going to make your parents mistakes, Gracie. I never want to go a day without telling you how much I love you. I don’t want to spend another day apart. I don’t know where I’ll be next season – I might start down in the AHL but it’s likely I’ll be called up again. But I’ve got to know…will you come with me?”

“To Texas? You want me to move in with you in Texas?”

Her mind was swirling, even more overwhelmed, her emotions choking up her throat as her jaw dropped slightly. That was the last thing she was expecting. Was this too sudden? Was she holding back for no reason?

“Shit, I shouldn’t be asking you that at 2.30am. I’m so sorry, so stupid,” Jake groaned, running his hands through his hair.

“You’re not stupid,” she said quickly, gently pulling his hands back down, “I just…it’s a lot? Let me think about it?”

“Of course. Whatever you need, I…”

He trailed off, an old familiar look of hesitance and self-deprecation in his eyes, enough to make her heart pang. Enough to make up her mind, at least a little bit.

“I love you too, Jake,” she murmured, smiling slightly as his breath caught in his throat, “I’ve loved you for longer than I care to admit. I was trying to build up my confidence to tell you but then it was too late, you know? When you left, and slowly stopped messaging me, it broke my heart. I know you were busy working your ass off in Texas and I am so proud of you for chasing your dreams…but it still hurt so much. I spent all of this last year essentially back in the way that you first met me, introverted and quiet – tonight was the first party I’d been to since November. But I still love you. I don’t think I could ever stop.”

As she spoke, she watched his face shift from happy to sad to devastated to hopeful. She’d missed how expressive he was, especially around her, especially because of her, even if it was terrifying to share all of her thoughts and feelings with him. Things she’d never said to anyone, not even her closest friends. But here she was, confessing everything, hoping that the tears slowly trickling down her face were the only ones she’d cry over him again.

Jake stayed silent for a moment, raising a hand to wipe away her tears, letting his hand cup her face briefly, just long enough for the warmth to seep through his skin to hers before he dropped his hand again.

“I’ll never be able to make up for making you feel like this for so long, I know that. But I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to start over, to finally start us as we should’ve always been. To show you how much I love you.”

It was everything she’d ever hoped to hear, over the three years they spent as friends and the past year alone. Was it enough? Could she trust him? Could she trust herself?

“I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, Jake. I know I’m not moving back home, but other than that? I don’t have any job or career lined up yet. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life after brunch tomorrow with the girls. But maybe you can walk me home tonight…and we can talk tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah, we can do that. I’d love that,” Jake said quickly, eagerly, “Maybe I could stay until after commencement weekend? There’s literally nowhere else I’d rather be.”

There’s literally nowhere else she’d want him to be either.

So she huffed out a laugh, nodding, heart starting to beat that little bit faster as he took one of her hands in his, threading their fingers together. She stayed silent as he stood up, hands staying linked as she stood up too, Jake just as silent as her. It was only when he lifted their joint hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand that she made any sound, a soft sigh of his name, just loud enough for Jake to hear.

It was his answering smile that gave her hope.

Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe for the first time, You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

#my writing #jake oettinger fic #summer fic exchange 2k23 #jake oettinger imagine #jake oettinger fanfic #jake oettinger x oc #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine

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domxmarvel · 1 year

Text

Encanto preferences- Protecting them when Casita breaks

Masterlist

A/N:I wrote this a while back and forgot to post it. It was heavily inspired by this post X

Bruno

As you were walking over to Isabela's room,you were caught by Abuela. You hadn't even made it upstairs,she immediately started screaming at you,Bruno and Mirabel. As the three of them were yelling at each other,you felt Casita rumbling and the cracks under your feet. Seconds before you could tell them to stop Bruno yelled out.

"I didn't leave because I don't care about this family,I left because I care. I couldn't let you see that vision,I couldn't let you treat Mirabel like you treated me!" There was a brief moment of silence before Casita broke. Everything was breaking apart. Everyone was rushing towards the candle but almost all of them got pushed out by Casita,the only ones left inside were you and Bruno. "Y/N get out,I'll get the candle" He ran off before you could stop him,you ran after him. He got the candle but tripped,you ran and caught him. There was no way you’d have enough time to get out,you pulled him closer to you covering him with your body. You could feel everything crumbling around you,some pieces of rubble hit you causing you to flinch. Once it was all over,he quickly looked up at you.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t worry about me,are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine” You both looked down at the candle,it had gone out. “Bruno,everything will be fine. You’re way more important than some miracle”

“Not to them,I’m not”

“You are important to them,even if they don’t wanna admit it.They’ll find a way to live without the magic,but not without you,I know I wouldn't” You could see tears forming in his eyes before he kissed you.

Camilo

“Camilo,don’t” You tried to stop him,but he pushed past you and towards the candle. He was just a few seconds away from it when his powers stopped working. Casita was trying hard to push everyone out,but you managed to stay inside. Camilo quickly got up,trying to reach the candle again. “Camilo” You ran up and grabbed him “We need to get out of here”

“I can’t leave”

“Camilo,I can’t let you die for a candle!”

“Then you don’t really love me” He broke from your grip as you were too shocked and heartbroken to react. You froze in place,until you heard.

“Y/N! Get out of there!” Pepa yelled at you. Camilo reached out for the candle and that’s when the roof crumbled under his feet. Casita was too weak to help out,you were the only one who could save him at this point. You caught him but it was too late to get out at this point,you were trapped inside. Everything was breaking apart,you knew you had to protect him. Once everything settled you were trapped under the rubble,your whole body ached. Your leg was really hurting you and every tiny movement caused you incredible pain. A bigger piece of rubble was lifted,revealing Luisa behind it. You gave her a smile before looking back at Camilo.

“Did you get hurt?” Everyone gathered around you.

“No,I’m fine,” He mumbled. You tried to stand up,only to immediately fall. “Y/N” You could barely hear him,everything was getting blurry and soon it was completely black.

***

When you woke up again,you were in Pepa’s room,was that all a dream? You tried to get up and immediately Camilo walked in.

“Y/N” He rushed to your side. “Don’t stand up,your still injured”

“So that wasn’t a dream” You mumbled to yourself.

“Y/N” He sat down on the bed. “I wanted to apologize,about what I said,how you don’t love me”

“Camilo,it’s okay”

“No,Y/N,it wasn’t okay. What I said to you wasn’t right,regardless of the situation. You proved just how much you do love me,you saved my life. And I choose that candle over you. I just hope you’ll take me back”

“I never let you go” You laughed,pulling him into a hug

Isabela

You were looking for Mirabel,suddenly plants were popping up everywhere. Not just roses but all kinds of plants. You got back to Casita to see Isabela and Mirabel on a bed of flowers,Isabela's dress was covered in flower dust of all different colors,it looked way more beautiful than her regular one. You were about to call out to both of them but Abuela walked just that second. Isabela's whole demeanor changed back to her 'perfect girl' and she quickly moved aside as Mirabel and Abuela started arguing. When everything started breaking,you were panicking.

“Isa,we need to get out of here”

“No,we need to get the candle”

“Help Mirabel” She looked a little confused. “Use your plants to give her a boost” She nodded and did as you said. Mirabel got the candle,you noticed a piece of rubble that was about to hit Isabela. You quickly grabbed her and pulled her away just in time. She used her magic to pull Mirabel out of the house. Thankfully everyone made it out,but the candle still went out. “Are you hurt?”

"No" She stood up as you did the same. "You?"

"I'm fine" You moved closer to her "I like your new dress" You whispered.

Luisa

Luisa was trying to hold up a bunch of falling debris,she was clearly struggling with her gift slowly fading. You were the last two in there along with Mirabel,Luisa refused to leave without Mirabel and you refused to leave without Luisa. You tried your best to help her,even if you weren't very strong. Finally Mirabel made it out,but at the last second even more debris fell and it was far too heavy. Immediately your instincts kicked in,pulling her down you covered as much of her body with your own. Which wasn't exactly easy since she was a giant compared to you,but you made sure to cover her head and neck.

"Luisa,I think this is it for me. If I don't make it out alive I don't want you to blame yourself,this isn't your fault and I'd gladly die for you. But I need you to know that I love you" She was silent for a moment,but you soon heard her sobbing. You closed your eyes,waiting for everything to fall on you. There were so many pieces,it felt like they were never ending,but eventually they stopped.

"Y/N,I love you too" finally with that you closed your eyes,the pain was just too much but you kept her safe. When you woke up again,you were out of the rubble but still in Luisa's arms.

Mirabel

Both you and Mirabel raced towards the candle and got to it just in time. When the roof under her started collapsing you quickly pulled her against you before jumping down. Casita caught you just before you hit the floor,there was no time to get out. You held onto her as tight as you could,casita used the last of its strength to move a bunch of the furniture around you to protect the two of you. When everything went silent,the furniture that was protecting you fell. The candle had gone out and Mirabel looked completely defeated. Her expression quickly changed when she noticed you bleeding from your arm. She tore off a piece of her dress and tied it around your arm.

"Thank you" You kissed her cheek and stood up,reaching to help her up. "Are you okay?" She only nodded,she hadn't said anything since the candle went out.

"Mirabel,Y/N" Julieta rushed over to the two of you. "Are you hurt?"

"Y/N got hurt" Mirabel broke her silence,but her gaze was still on the ground.

"I'll be fine" You put your hand on her cheek,forcing her to finally look up at you. "I'm more worried about you. '' She just hugged you without any other word,in seconds you heard her sobbing.

"This is all because of me,we lost the miracle and you got hurt because of me"

"Mirabel,none of this is your fault. I'd do anything to protect you"

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timetorace · 2 years

Text

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝

Hi! This one is inspired in the rumours that were floating around Carlos and a brazilian girl during the French GP (after the comments made by the brazilian commentator). Then I added some other things. PLEASE, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. Thank u. @diorleclerc @lickmeleclerc @libraryofloveletters (Thank u for editing this and all of you for pulling up with me)

enana= midget // amor=love // corazón=my heart

ship: carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader.

summary: after some rumors opened old wounds again, you and Carlos reach a turning point, is there a future for you worth saving?

warnings: mentions of cheating. betraying. alcohol mentions. NO PROOF READ.

word count: 9.4K.

FRIDAY - LE CASTELLET, FRANCE

You would love to say that you had seen it coming, that you had seen it coming, and that you had prepared for it. The truth was that you would not have seen it coming even if it had hit you on the head. Simply reality gave you a beating that left you knocked out.

Just after Austria, Paul Richard was the penultimate race before the summer break and that week Europe was experiencing a heat wave. The temperature was unbearable and not even the air conditioning could make it any better. You were in the garage watching FP2 when you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket. What-? You had about twenty lost messages in the WhatsApp group you had with your friends, who were furiously discussing something over audio messages. You couldn’t listen to them at the time and that’s what you texted before one of them texted back “That cheating ass did it again, he can’t keep his dick in his fucking pants” You raised your eyebrows, who were they talking about? You replied quickly with a short “I’ll listen later” text, but you couldn’t even get back into hospitality before another one of your friends called you hysterical. Apparently, a Brazilian commentator told the story of how Carlos met a girl at a party after the Brazilian GP last year and then spent a few days at her house in the countryside, along with Lando and Luisa. Social media had already exploded with people talking about how all this was already a rumour last year or speculating about you two.

You were used to rumours, that was nothing new. People did not tire of speculating, that if you were not going to a race, that if there were no photos of you on vacation, that if you did not have public social networks. You understood the curiosity, but that was not a door you wanted to open. What you weren’t used to was someone echoing rumours on a broadcast and bringing them into the public eye. Social media were a microclimate, and the issue stayed there, but journalists rarely echoed rumours.

The heat wave was unbearable, so you were walking back to the hospitality after FP2 to get a bottle of water when Carlos glimpsed you and said something to Ellie, his PR manager, before jogging towards you.

“Ellie told me about the rumours,” he murmured, leaning toward you slightly to stand next to you. “Have you seen them?”

“Yes, I have,” you replied with a quick nod “Leticia called me to talk about it” She also had a lot to say about how Carlos was a fucking idiot but you would not say that to him.

“And?”

You gave him a look of confusion. “I wasn’t worried about it until you brought it back and asked,” You didn’t understand why he would give importance to something like that if it was just rumours “Why? Should I be worried about something?”

“I just wanted to make sure you are ok” Weird. He knew you didn’t use to bother with rumours, mainly because they were always speculation and you had to admit that most of the fans were very nice.

“I’m” You nodded briefly “I trust you” You added. You stared at each other in silence for a moment. You opened your mouth as if to say something else, but you weren’t sure what to say or where all that came from or why Carlos had brought it up. If it was just rumours, there was no need to worry about that, was it?

You spoke too soon. Turns out there was something to worry about. Social media, mainly Twitter, quickly identified who she was and found a TikTok video of Carlos swimming in this girl’s pool and they also found some photos of him posing with the girl and some of her friends, at least the photos were not anything committed, it was like any photo he took with a fan. Apparently, this girl was friends with Rubens Barrichello’s son and the rumour was that Carlos, Lando, and Luisa, among other people, had ended up at her house in the countryside for a crazy party weekend. There would be nothing to worry about if it wasn’t because he had told you he was going to stay for a few days at the hotel in Sao Paulo, playing golf with Lando.

You caressed your temples.

That couldn’t be happening to you again. You didn’t want it to happen again. It was like coming back six years in time. You were feeling a déjà vu.

A few months before you got pregnant with Sofia, you and Carlos were having a rough patch. They fought all the time and hardly saw each other. Mainly the fights were over small things that later ended up becoming huge. He was in his last stint at Toro Rosso before moving on to Renault and when he wasn’t traveling; he had to spend hours and hours in the simulator as a development driver. You were in your last year of college living the good life, in Ibiza, traveling with friends. You guys were trying to make it work no matter what and especially since you both hoped it was just a losing streak.

One day Carlos appeared at your door out of nowhere. He wasn’t supposed to visit Spain soon. You hadn’t seen each other for a month and you hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks now because you had a big fight after he didn’t come to your birthday to go to the Red Bull factory in Milton Keynes. In an attempt, you tried to be understanding with him and his work, but at that moment you just wanted your boyfriend around. It was almost felt like you were in a relationship with a ghost. You had been surprised, but you had decided that you were at least going to have dinner before talking about the fight you had recently. You hadn’t finished clearing the dishes when Carlos blurted out,

“I slept with someone else,” He said back then. At least he had the decency to look regretful.

At first, you thought you had misheard and were ready to crack a joke when you saw he wasn’t laughing. Carlos was dead serious. There was not a joking note on her face. You were furious. Your last fight had been left aside, and you had lost your voice from yelling at him so much. You had yelled, cried, insulted, kicked, and thrown things and he had simply stood there watching you, without moving. He hadn’t made excuses; he hadn’t tried to justify himself; he hadn’t blamed you. Simply, Carlos had stayed seated letting you unload. When you finished, you just stared at him for a moment before locking yourself in your room.

That night had been terrible. You hadn’t slept trying to figure out what you were going to do next. The most obvious option was to leave him and the other was to forgive him and move on. You didn’t want to forgive him, mainly because you were proud as hell and because you felt like it was what you were supposed to do. But you loved him so much. You didn’t want that to be the end of you. You thought everyone was human and made mistakes. The problem was that to forgive him you had to move on because you couldn’t forgive him, only to be blaming or resenting him all the time. If you forgave him, you had to leave all that behind and really move forward.

Eventually, you did. You forgave him. Then, out of nowhere, Sofia came into your lives. You guys moved forward. Not everyone could do that, but you could leave that bad memory behind and mistrust never arose again because in all those years Carlos had never given you a reason to doubt him. Until now. You didn’t really understand what was going on. You didn’t want to do it either, because that would probably lead to a crisis.

Both of you had grown up, and you wanted to believe that the way you argued had grown too. They no longer threw accusations out of nowhere and blew everything up. They were more rational and calmer, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe because all you could think about was how you could feel the wild beat of your heart even in your ears when Carlos approached you. You looked at Sofía, your daughter. She was coloring her book, oblivious to the panic you were feeling. You felt trapped. You wanted to get out of there and run away as far as possible, but you couldn’t.

“Ready to go?” Carlos asked, and you saw how Sofia looked up to smile at him. You couldn’t do that to her, you didn’t want to. You needed to solve it before it affected her.

“Did you finish the debrief?” You asked him with your eyes fixed on what was left of your apple. You were no longer hungry, you had lost your appetite.

“Yeah, we can go for today” He moved in front of you.

“Let’s go then,” you replied with a lopsided smile that didn’t reach your eyes before getting up from the table. Hospitality was almost empty. You collected Sofia’s things to put them in your bag.

Carlos stretched out his hand, brushing against yours to help you pick up the pencils and the book. You flinched at the contact. You were running on autopilot. Your head was spinning too much to think about, doing anything other than moving your feet and getting out of there as fast as possible.

If he noticed your reaction to his contact, he gave no sign.

“I’m sleepy,” Sofia moaned, rubbing her eye with her hand.

“She didn’t take a nap” You explained to him stoic as a statue.

Carlos nodded before taking her in his arms. You slipped next to them and you left the hospitality to walk in silence towards the paddock exit.

It was curious how the brain worked when you were in a crisis. Your brain didn’t seem to work the way you would like it to. The rational side would tell you to take it easy and think of all the logical reasons he hadn’t cheated on you. Instead of doing it, you kept thinking of all the possibilities, including that it was more than possible that he had cheated on you before and you would have never found out. All those rumours about him cheating on you might be true, after all. Not as ridiculous as they seemed to you just a few hours ago.

The ride back to the hotel was silent. The driver had the music down and Sofia had fallen asleep on Carlos’s shoulder as soon as you got in the car. He reached out the hand that wasn’t holding hers to offer it to you and you placed your hand on top of his before turning your gaze out the window.

You rationally knew that you were probably overreacting. A video meant nothing more than he had probably had a good weekend, but then, why had he told you he was staying at the hotel in Sao Paulo and had traveled to the countryside? It didn’t even bother you he’d had a weekend party in the slightest. The video in the pool seemed to be taken from an angle that Carlos didn’t realize, and it wasn’t exactly suggestive. The photos didn’t look like it either. Maybe she found him and asked for a photo like any fan. Some photos seemed innocent, but were they really? You couldn’t help but wonder if something else hadn’t happened.

You felt like an idiot overthinking the whole thing, but deep down, you felt that something was not right. It was like the last time again, only this time there was doubt. The last time he had admitted it to you directly, but now the doubt was floating in the air. You were not sure what was happening.

He gestured an “are you ok?” with his lips so as not to wake Sofia up, to which you responded with a nod. You knew you had to talk about that ASAP before it became a bomb, but it was race weekend and the last thing you needed was Carlos overthinking while he was driving at 300kmph.

You couldn’t avoid the conversation too much because as soon as they arrived at the hotel, Carlos left Sofia asleep on the sofa and left the door ajar before following you to the room.

“What’s going on with you?” He asked as you sat on the bed. You couldn’t wait to get in the shower. The heat in Le Castellet was unbearable, and you were all sticky.

“I have a headache,” you murmured in response, taking off your shoes.

“C’mon, give me some credit.” After all that time, he could tell when something was happening to you. You hated that right now.

You rolled your eyes “The fans found a video”

“About?”

“You’re at this girl’s house, swimming in her pool” He knew who you were talking about when you referred to ‘this girl’ “I hate asking but, is all this they are saying true?” You asked, turning to see him.

“I don’t know what they are saying, but I thought you weren’t worried about it.” He frowned.

“Things change, it’s not just some idiot talking about it on TV anymore” You jumped out of bed “What happened?”

“I told you, nothing”

You let out a sigh before scratching your forehead “I hate doing this but I’ve to ask, did you cheat on me?” You asked him, staring at him. It could feel like your heart stopped for a second and your breath hitched as you waited for his answer. You didn’t want to throw accusations into the air, but you needed to ask him directly. Seeing his face and assessing his expression, you wanted to believe that you could do it after all this time.

“No” Carlos shook his head, responded almost instantly, and frowned “Don’t you trust me?”

Now you felt bad for questioning him “I do” You nodded slowly “If you say nothing happened, then nothing happened, but I had to ask” The climate was now tense between you.

“Nothing happened,” Carlos shook his head “Lando and Luisa were there, they can confirm it”

Technically, they couldn’t unless they had slept next to him. You rolled your eyes “How did you end up there?”

“She knows Luisa, this girl’s father has his own golf course in the country house, which was where we were”

“Golf? Did you do all this to play golf with Lando?” The explanation sounded logical, but you still didn’t understand why he had done all that. Especially since he had told you he and Lando were going to stay in Sao Paulo to try out the golf courses.

“When you say it like that, it sounds stupid” He rolled his eyes “They-“

You interrupted him “I don’t care about Lando and Luisa, I’m not married to them, I’m married to you” You knew you were probably being too harsh and overreacting about a rumour but you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he had hidden from you he had been somewhere else “Why did you lie?”

“What are you talking about?” Really, he had forgotten? He really needed to get his head in order.

“You told me you were going to stay at the hotel in Sao Paulo with Lando, not at someone else’s house.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“It came up at the last minute. They offered it to us at the party, so we went. I didn’t think there was anything weird about it” You stared at him and analyzed his expression. He wasn’t lying. At least that’s what it seemed to you. The story made sense, at least. You understood he wouldn’t have found necessary to tell you because there was nothing wrong with going golfing with his friends.

“Okay” You nodded softly. You wanted to believe him, you needed to believe him, so you did.

“Are we good?”

“We’re good,” you agreed before Carlos walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m sorry,” He murmured against your hair.

“It’s ok” you assured him, closing your eyes to inhale his scent.

Was it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUNDAY - LE CASTELLET, FRANCE

It was race day and fortunately; the temperature had dropped a bit compared to the previous days. The subject had been buried between you. You believed him. You still believed that he had been an idiot for not having told you especially if there was nothing to hide. You thought the storm had passed. Turns out it wasn’t. The girl had posted a few stories on Instagram suggesting how football players, actors, and F1 drivers had tried to go on a date with her. Of course, she was following Carlos, by itself that wouldn’t mean anything if it weren’t because she had later answered some questions on Instagram suggesting that something had happened between her and an F1 driver and that the rumours weren’t rumours after all.

You had spent the entire trip to Paul Richard looking at the stories and ignoring the calls from your friends, who were surely willing to tell you how stupid they thought Carlos was. He had to go earlier that day, so you were going solo with Sofia. Your friends didn’t like when you forgave him years ago and surely now they were eager to tell you how wrong you had been to forgive him back then. They were going to have opinions about it.

“Mom” Sofia called you “Can I go?” She asked you, pointing to Carola, who was leading Checo Jr. and Carlotta by the hand.

“Go,” you told her and stood watching as she approached them.

Your phone vibrated again, and you rolled your eyes before answering the call.

“Leticia”

“Did you watch the videos?” Your friend asked you with a shriek.

“Yes, I did,” You let out a sigh “They don’t mean a thing”

“Don’t they mean anything? Talk to him,” she insisted.

“I did it. He says nothing happened and I believe him,” you told him firmly. You watched as Sofia ran with Checo Jr. and Carlotta.

“(Y/N)” Leticia’s tone made you close your eyes briefly. You didn’t want to hear everything she had to say, you knew she was coming from a good place but you didn’t need to keep dwelling on the subject “I love you but he’s done this before, what tells you he didn’t do it again?”

“He says he didn’t do it, I have to trust Leticia, he’s my husband” The children were playing tag and Carola was talking to a couple of people next to them.

“That he cheated on you before,” she added.

“Can you let that go? I'm the one who forgave him was me and we moved on,” You had forgiven and until that moment, you had never looked back “I won't believe some random girl over my husband”

“Just be careful, okay?” She mumbled, “Maybe the girl is telling the truth after all”

“Or maybe he wants her minute of fame and that’s it.” You really didn’t want to have that conversation with her. The last thing you needed was for Leticia to keep insisting on the song “I’ve to go”

You approached the Perez. Carola was telling you about the family’s plans for the summer break, but all you could think about was the conversation you had with Leticia. You couldn’t stop thinking that she came from a place of love and didn't want you to make a mistake away, but you wished you hadn’t answered her call.

Carola offered to watch Sofia for an hour, since she wanted to play with Carlotta and Sergio Jr. You promised her you would meet her at Red Bull hospitality after dropping off your stuff.

“Hey” Lando greeted you walking next to you “Sofia didn’t come today?”

“She is with the Perez,” you answered, speeding up your pace a bit.

“Are you ok though? Have you seen the videos Natalia posted? Luisa just called,” You closed your eyes briefly and took a deep breath. You really didn’t want to talk about it. Why couldn’t people understand that? “Luisa can’t believe she did this,” Lando babbled “She is technically not her friend, but she hangs out with her cousins and-”

You interrupted him, “I know there must be a very interesting story behind all this, but I don’t want to hear it today, Lando”

“Are you mad?” He asked, frowning.

“Not at you if that’s what you are asking” You shrugged. You still believed Carlos, you really did, but you didn’t want to hear more people talk to you about it. You wanted to believe Carlos, you had to because otherwise, it meant that he had lied to you.

“C’mon, (Y/N) I promise that nothing she says is true, he didn’t even look at her twice all weekend” Carlos hadn’t looked at her twice but somehow he ended up in her house? Lando had to find something better to say if he was going to want to defend him.

“Lando” You called him “I really don’t want to hear it” You didn’t want to talk about that stuff with anyone except him, you just needed to get on with your day and you would talk to Carlos later.

“Have you talked to Carlos yet?”

“He has commitments with the sponsors today” You explained HIM. That was the reason he had to leave the hotel a little earlier today.

“If that makes you feel better, nothing happened” Lando had no way of knowing that for sure, but you understood Carlos was his friend and he had to defend him.

“How do you know? Did you sleep in the same room? Lando took a step back at your tone. You felt bad for him but he had insisted on talking about it after you had told him you didn’t want to do it “Look, I’m not mad at you, Carlos is the one that owes me all that we already know” You scratched forehead “I’m just disappointed” You sighed “I know you are his friend and not mine but I opened you the doors to my home, I watched you sit on my table, play with my daughter, I thought at least you would give me the courtesy and the respect I deserved, not as your friend’s wife but as a person who welcomed you into their home” The fact that the girl was close to Luisa and that Lando had the idea of going in the first place did not I had been upset because after all it was Carlos who had agreed to go but at the time you were just mad and Lando was being your punching bag since you couldn’t talk to Carlos.

“Carlos said yes.” Lando frowned. “And I didn’t think there was anything wrong with going to the cottage, either.”

“And that’s his fault” You agreed “but you could have to think about the fact that he has a wife and a 5-year-old kid who by the way, thinks highly of you, Lando” You were being unfair, you knew it but you needed to download the anger and Lando had pushed you to the limit without knowing it “I’m sorry, I know you can’t control Carlos actions and that it’s not your fault but I’m mad right now and I don’t want to talk about it” You let out a sigh because Lando looked like he had been punched in the face. “See? I’m being a bitch, not the right time, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” He assured you “Talk to you later?”

You responded with a nod and a grunt before he trotted off to McLaren’s hospitality. Your shitty humor scared him, that was for sure. You didn’t know if you needed to talk to Carlos; you felt you didn’t, but after talking to Leticia and Lando, you felt you had to.

After leaving your things in the hospitality, you returned with Carola and the children. When you checked your cell phone, Leticia had sent you a message ‘I thought you wanted to see this video that’s going around on Twitter’ followed by a video where you could see Carlos at the party he had gone to, he had the same clothes as her. photo where he was posing with the girl and her friends. It seemed as if it had happened before the photo was taken. He was with his arm leaning against the wall, leaning. You supposed to hear her over the music. It was nothing compromising, but it was enough to send your mind flying. Now you couldn’t stop thinking about the videos that the girl had uploaded and the answers to her followers’ questions. In one, she had said how the driver had done it ‘more than one time’.

You watched that video repeatedly. Technically, there was nothing wrong with it but, and added to everything else, that was the breaking point where you wondered if you had to be so calm and trust Carlos’ word after all.

You couldn’t talk to Carlos until after the race, he had had to take a penalty, so he had started from the bottom of the grid but had come back to P5. It had been a difficult weekend because you knew Carlos wanted more but he had overtaken cars to get to the top of the table.

You walked down the hallway that led to his driver’s room. Carlos had to go to Maranello, and you were going to return with Sofia to Madrid on a commercial flight, and you didn’t want to have that conversation on the phone. You took a deep breath. You could do that. It was just a conversation with your husband.

“Hey,” you told him, leaning against the door frame.

“Hey, I’m done and we can go”

“Okay,” you told her with a small nod before moving to close the door behind you.

“Something happens?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“The girl,” You closed your eyes briefly “Natalie” You corrected yourself cause after all she had a name “She uploaded some stories talking about how she slept with a driver”

“Are you with that again? I thought we had clarified that nothing happened,” He replied, putting on his shirt.

“Leticia sent me a video of you and her at a party talking” You swallowed hard. There was actually nothing wrong with the video itself. God, were you being dramatic?

“I don’t understand what you want me to say”

Carlos didn’t seem to be worried or nervous about the new information, so that had to mean there was nothing he was keeping from you, right? “I want you to tell me if there is anything else that I should know other than what you told me I should be concerned about or that I am not seeing”

You saw how his expression changed a bit and how doubt appeared in his eyes

“Tell me” You demanded

“What?”

“You’re hiding something from me,” You pointed out “spit it out”

“She tried to kiss me,” He admitted, and you felt her breath catch briefly as she tried to process his words “But I pulled away before she could.”

“She tried to kiss you?” You asked him in disbelief. Hadn’t I thought of telling you before? Did you have to ask him to tell you? “And you didn’t mention it before? How did we go from ‘nothing happened’ to ‘she tried to kiss me’?”

“Nothing happened, she tried to kiss me, she was clearly drunk, and I walked away, that’s all” Carlos shrugged “You know that’s happened before” Some fans sometimes wanted to try their luck with drivers, and twice they had tried it with Carlos, he had been horrified but you had found it hilarious. Now you weren’t finding it the least bit funny.

“See? I really want to trust you but you keep lying and hiding things,” You groaned.

“I’m not lying,” He insisted.

“First you didn’t tell me you were going to stay at the country house and then you omitted to tell me she had tried to kiss you,” You wanted to believe him but he had already lied to you before or omitted things. You couldn’t help but wonder, what else wasn’t he telling you? “Put yourself in my shoes, Carlos, this isn’t getting any better”

“It’s the truth, nothing happened I swear, there’s nothing else I can say”

“I don’t even get why you wanted to go to her country house in the first place, all to play golf?”

“Was I supposed to say no?” He asked, raising his eyebrows and you wore red. Did he still not understand that it wasn’t right?

“Mhm, yes?” You told him as if it was obvious “You wouldn’t even want to go to something like that, especially knowing that if anyone found out, rumours would spread.”

“It was just a weekend in the country, I wasn’t even alone with her,” He defended himself “What has anything to do with my love for you?”

“You put me through all this speculation and rumours to go play golf, Carlos. My faith in you is falling quick”

“What am I guilty of? Wanting to play golf? Wanting to take a break with my friends?”

You snorted, “I wish I could do that”

“Do what? Take a break? Of course, you can”

You passed your hands over your face. He couldn’t be serious, he couldn’t be so oblivious to the fact that you had a five-year-old depending on you “Are you kidding me? What about Sofia? Who is the one who is with her when she gets sick? Who takes her to school? Who helps her with her homework?”

Carlos took a step back, a little hurt by your statement. Well, at least he knew you were furious “That’s not fair. You know I’m there whenever I can when work isn’t in the middle”

“Or when you’re not playing golf,” you muttered scathingly.

“Are you suggesting I’m not a good father?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Well, if you keep pulling things like this you are not getting the award for father of the year that’s for sure,” you mocked sarcastically. You were uncontrollable, and you really didn’t mean it, but now you were furious.

“husband of the year? Maybe not,” He shook his head, giving you a hurt look “But father? Don’t you think you are being a little unfair?”

“Instead of spending a part of your limited time with your daughter, you stayed there, have fun and lie to me about it. That’s ok but is that me being unfair or is it you not seeing things?” You weren’t thinking clearly. You wanted him to hurt as much as your chest was hurting you at that moment. You knew he would be there more if he could and that the parents could also take time off “I would love to have fun go to Ibiza with my friends and leave Sofia with someone else,” Especially if he was around, that would be much easier “but you know, at least one of us has to stay and give her some stability”

“Sometimes I need to take a break and I enjoy playing golf. Apparently those are my sins,” He said, and you raised your eyebrows. Was he being sarcastic now?

“A break? Do you feel you needed a break?” Suddenly you were angry about the fact that he had never thought about you, that maybe you also needed a break sometimes “What about me?”

How had you guys gone from talking about the videos and what had happened in Brazil to questioning which of you two deserved more of a break? You needed to get out of there. You didn’t want to continue having this conversation with him. It would not end well, even though everything was already a mess, anyway.

“I think I’m going to leave with Sofia early,” you murmured, turning around to open the door.

“(Y/N)” He called you “Don’t do this”

“Me? You are the one making the stupid decisions” You rolled your eyes before opening the door and walking out.

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TUESDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

It was funny how everything could fall apart so fast. You thought your relationship with Carlos was solid, but now you could only see how everything was falling apart in front of you. It was a house of cards, fragile and that with just a breeze had ended up in pieces.

What had followed the disastrous weekend in France had been a client asking if you were fit to work. A client you had been working on for the last few months had looked at you and asked if that was a good time for you to meet to see the details for the coatings. You would have thought she just wanted to be polite if it wasn’t for the look she had given you. She had given you a look of sympathy. You gave her a friendly smile and told her you were fine to see the details of the coatings, but deep down you were furious. People talked. You preferred to pretend like it wasn’t, but it was. People probably also talked about it behind your back.

Your boss also asked you if you needed some days off. No, you didn’t need it. Why would you? You never regretted having started dating a public person like Carlos, but for the first time, you were. The client and your boss hadn’t even had to mention what they were referring to. You knew they had probably read about your private life.

You knew how all that worked. The rumours. You had seen it a couple of months ago with Checo’s video after the Monaco Grand Prix. Everyone had been talking about it for a week until Checo had released a statement to calm the waters. At that moment, you had felt bad for Carola, for having to deal with all that after giving birth less than a month ago.

Hola! magazine published an article about how Carlos and you seemed to be more solid than ever, along with some photos in the paddock and others recycled from previous vacations. You suspected that the Ferrari PR team could be behind that, working behind the scenes.

You avoided Carlos as much as possible, trying to put a space between you so you could cool your head and think clearly about what had happened. You and Sofia were supposed to travel to Budapest on Friday to join him for the last race of the summer break before you all moved to Mallorca for the rest of the break. Blanca, Carlos’s sister, was getting married next week, so they were going to spend a few days in Madrid before going on vacation. You decided you weren’t in a mental state to call Carlos to tell him that. You just sent him a text saying you’d see him in Madrid on Monday. Of course, he called you after reading the message. You ignored his calls twice until he saw that he clearly would not stop, so you answered the phone.

“Finally,” He answered on the first ring “Are you avoiding me?”

“Yes, I am” There was no point in denying anything. You didn’t want to talk to him after what had happened on Sunday.

“Are you still mad about that?” He let out a moan from the other end of the phone “I told you already what happened”

“Yeah, I know the speech by heart, ‘nothing happened’, right?” Sarcasm came out of your voice.

“Are you still mad?”

“No, I was angry on Friday maybe, now I’m furious,” You corrected him. Furious couldn’t explain how badly you wanted to play darts with a photo of him “Everyone is talking about what happened, my boss just asked me if I don’t want to take a vacation, so you’re not exactly my favourite person right now”

“I don’t understand why you care so much about what people say?”

“It’s humiliating, I have clients who are aware of what they say about my private life and all the rumours they are inventing” From a threesome of Carlos with Lando and the girl until he had bought her a ticket so that saw you at the Monaco Grand Prix when you knew that wasn’t true, he had been glued to you that weekend, his whole family had been there too, that just wasn’t possible “A client, a client asked me if I was fit to continue with the project, this is my job Carlos, I don’t live being your lapdog”

“The rumours will go away, they will move on to the next topic of the moment,” He said to comfort you.

“They won’t go away fast enough,” You sighed and rubbed your hand over your face “An article in Hola! won't make them go away.”

“It’s the most popular magazine in Spain,” Carlos pointed out.

You let out a bitter laugh “You think an article is gonna be enough to shut it down?” You rolled your eyes. People on Twitter almost certainly did not read that magazine and you doubted they would stop talking about it soon. His name was still trending “It’s not just Spain, everyone is talking about this in case you haven’t noticed”

“The rumours aren’t my fault.” He murmured back, “You knew this was my life before you got into it.”

“Yeah, I know”

“Why are you mad at me, then?”

“You are an idiot! That’s the problem! You acted like one with all this stuff,” You took a deep breath, you really didn’t want to explode against him and start yelling at him on the phone “I-I have to go, Sofia is calling me”

“I didn't hear anything”

“I’ll talk to you later,” you answered before ending the call. You put the phone aside. Yes, that definitely hadn’t gone well.

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MONDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

You knew immediately when Carlos slid in beside you on the bed. Mainly because you felt the bed sink under his weight and because you could smell the scent of his shampoo as if he had just taken a shower. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know that it was early in the morning. He had sent you a text (to which you hadn’t responded) before you went to sleep to let you know he was going to be late. Hungary had not been good. Both Ferraris had been left off the podium and had suffered a beating from Red Bull and Mercedes. In addition, the strategy had been a disaster and the criticism of the team was becoming increasingly fierce. When he saw he had no intention of approaching you, so you rolled over to lean on him and snuggle up against him even without opening your eyes, you didn’t think you could face him at that moment. He was so hot, so cozy, perfect to cuddle up to.

“Hey, you,” He murmured brushing his lips with your hair “Shouldn’t we talk?”

“Tomorrow” You moaned against him and felt a couple of drops from his wet hair fall on your forehead.

You knew you shouldn’t. You were giving mixed signals, but you were semi-asleep and you weren’t so worried about the mixed signals but about snuggling against the warmth of him.

The next morning, you slipped out of bed and straight into the kitchen. If you were lucky, maybe you could make breakfast and sneak away, but when you were almost done, he walked into the kitchen with his hair tousled and still with a sleepy face.

“At least if you are gonna cheat on me, you should have been smart to do it.” You snapped out of nowhere. If they were going to talk about it, it was better to go to the point “Maybe my problem is that I expected too much from you”

“For the millionth time, I didn’t cheat on you,” He replied with a hoarse voice opening the refrigerator.

“I wish I could believe you” You snorted, cutting a couple of slices of bread “How could I know? How could I know nothing happened?

“Cause I’m telling you it didn’t”

“And that should be enough? I should trust your word just like that ”And his word should suffice then? Normally I would, but at the time you couldn’t stop thinking about how you had been in that position before. “Your word means nothing to me right now”

“I didn’t betray you”

“You owe me fidelity but first, you owe me respect, you couldn’t even respect me enough to not drag me into this month in public” You had spent the week with your boss insisting that you take a few days off and explaining to your clients that you could still pay attention to their projects.

“I wasn’t the one that made it public”

“You think I’m mad at her for taking her minute of fame?” You asked in disbelief “I’m mad at you for even giving her the chance to do it in the first place,” He should have thought and didn’t even go there in the first place “The fact you didn't cheat doesn’t make it any better, you still lied”

“I need you to trust me, nothing happened,” He insisted and approached you to place his hands on your shoulders but you took a step back

“Trust you? You cheated on me once. What’s stopping you from cheating on me again?”

“You forgave me for that!” Carlos exclaimed.

“I did, yes” You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Then you can’t bring it back after all these years and use it against me. If you decide to forgive, you can’t go out there throwing it in my face”

You opened your mouth to reply when he saw something moving out of the corner of your eye. Sofia came out of the hall, rubbing her eye with her fist.

“Are you fighting?” she asked softly.

“No corazón, we chat, that’s all,” you assured her, giving Sofia a small smile. Piñon came walking behind her before approaching Carlos so that he could pet him. Traitor.

“Come here, enana” Carlos said to Sofia before taking her in his arms “Let’s make those pancakes you like” he added before giving you a look that said you were definitely going to continue that conversation later. Fantastic. You couldn’t wait.

A couple of hours later, while you were trying to finish an email for a client, Carlos walked into the office.

“Didn’t you get the memo? I don’t want you here. Go away, get lost,” you growled without looking up at him. You were in a bad mood. Your customer thought you were distracted because the store had apparently delivered the wrong colour tile. That wasn’t your fault. How could it be? “I don’t want to deal with you right now.” You didn’t want to know if he was cheating on you or not.

“Stop walking away from me,” He leaned against your desk “We need to solve this out”

“I’m not 22 anymore. I can’t just turn around and walk away. I wish I could, but I can’t” You slammed the laptop lid shut. You’ve had enough of your talk. You just wanted me to leave you alone “Cause be sure as fuck that I would walk away if it wasn’t for Sofia”

“You don’t mean that”

“Oh, I do. You kept things from me, lied about it, and then suggested it was because you ‘wanted a break’ was really revealing.” You still didn’t understand why he had wanted to do all that.

“I didn’t want the rumours to happen.” His guilty expression almost made you feel sorry for him. Almost.

“And you think I wanted this? Having a baby at 22? No, I did not, but these are the cards we got.” And he was the one who needed a break? If I needed a break, then you needed the world to stop “You had an option, you could just walk away”

“What?”

“When I got pregnant with Sofia, I gave you a choice, to walk away,” you reminded her. At that moment, you didn’t want him to feel trapped and need to stay with you just because you got pregnant.

“What does all this have to do with what happened in Brazil?” Carlos frowned.

“You said you needed a break and I’m just remembering you that you had the choice to walk away back then”

“I couldn’t have even if I wanted to and you know that” Of course, he would always want to do the right thing, he could never walk away from his daughter but still you gave him the option to choose what he wanted to do. Neither of them was ready to have a child, but less than nine months later, Sofia arrived.

“I ’m giving you the choice again. If you don’t want this life, you can go” You would not hold him. You were tired of fighting and, honestly, you weren’t even sure of anything anymore.

“You are giving up on us?” He asked, staring at you.

“You did it first,” you replied without taking your eyes off him “If you think you don’t want this life, married life, husband life, father life, then you are free to walk away”

“I could never walk away from Sofía” It was good to know, but then if he could walk away from you?

“Good to know. At least one of us is holding you back.” You replied sarcastically, but before Carlos could respond, Sofia stormed into the office.

“Moooooooooom!” she called out before stopping to look at the two of them “Are you fighting again?”

“We are not fighting, enana“ Carlos assured her, giving her a sweet smile “What happened?”

“I want a sandwich”

You gave her a look, and you raised her eyebrows.

“Please?” she added.

“A sandwich it’s then,” He said before picking her up and walking out of the office without even glancing at you.

Well, that had gone bad. Even if he hadn’t cheated on you, even if he had just lied to you, added to the background, you couldn’t help but think that he was lying to you. You wanted to trust him, you really wanted to, but Carlos had cheated on you before, that he was stopping him from doing it one more time? There was nothing to stop him. In fact, he could do it without you knowing about it. The problem was that even without the deception; he had still been disloyal to you in other ways. Also, if he hadn’t cheated on you, why hadn’t he mentioned to you earlier about the girl trying to kiss him? You hated having to be like this, doubting his word, but unfortunately, he had given you over one reason to do it.

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THRUSDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

The rest of the week was torture. You two only interacted when Sofia was involved. You still slept in the same bed every night, mainly because Sofia was smart enough to know that something was happening if you two slept separately. The first night like that was an inferno, so you just fell asleep “accidentally” on the couch watching a movie or over your desk in your office. Every time, you woke up with a blanket over you. You hated him. Not only for the obvious, but for still doing stuff like that for you. It makes it harder to hate him as you should. You had to hate him for putting you in that situation.

Thursday night was Carlos’s sister’s bachelorette party and her fiancé’s bachelor party, so you two were going out separately. When you came back, you were clearly drunk, having lost count after finishing the fourth round of tequila shots. Normally you would stop before, but you wanted to get drunk. You needed to get drunk to cope with everything that was happening with you and Carlos. You were too tired and drunk to think about sleeping on the couch in an awkward position. Carlos was already in bed with the lights off when you came in. You cursed when you couldn’t undo the strap on your heel that made him squirm on the bed.

“Need help?” he asked with a murmur.

“No,” you growled, forcing the heel strap to lodge.

“Let me,” Carlos replied, getting up from the bed and approaching you. He crouched in front of you and you put your hand on his shoulder to steady yourself. Once I took off your heels, you put your feet on the ground and let out a groan of pleasure when you felt the cold floor under your feet. Wearing heels was a pain. You didn’t even have the strength to remove your makeup, so you crawled into bed and lay on your side. Carlos did the same, standing next to you.

“You hurt me,” you moaned as you felt the mattress move under his weight.

“I know,” he murmured.

“All you do is hurt me,” you complained “You are never here, so what am I supposed to do now? Worrying all the time about where you are and who are you with?”

“You have nothing to worry about,” Carlos replied, placing his hand on your arm.

“I gave you the best years of my life and this is how you pay me,” you slurred “Lying to my face”

“I’m sorry”

“Maybe I’m the one that’s your mistress after all” You moaned “Oh gosh” You put your hands over your face “I’m your mistress” You moaned “I hate you” You exclaimed and heard Carlos let out a breath “I hate you so bad” You hated him for making you love him, for loving so much every single thing of him.

“You are not my mistress,” He replied, shaking his head “There is no one else but you”

“I wish I could believe you,” you moaned and paused before speaking again “Why did you need a break from Sofia and me? Are we overwhelming?” You asked him with a hurting look.

“What? When did I say something like that?”

“The other day in your driver’s room, you said you needed a break”

“I-” He sighed “That wasn’t what I meant”

“Carlos?”

“And it is?”

“If you didn’t cheat on me, then why did you lie?” You asked him, turning to look at him.

Carlos stared at you for a minute before letting out a sigh “I don’t know”

Well, that answer only gave you more doubts.

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SATURDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

It was the day of the wedding. The day before, you had woken up with a hangover from hell and Carlos had just been... weird. He had been giving you weird looks all day and had a wet puppy look that made you wonder what the hell you said while you were drunk. That morning, he was not in bed when you woke up, so you had no clue what had happened.

Saturday was chaotic. Sofia had to be there earlier because she was going to be the flower girl, so Carlos’ parents took her a little earlier. You were going to go later so you could meet there.

“I’m ready, let’s go,” you told him, leaving the room still adjusting your bracelet “What are you doing?” You asked, frowning when you saw he was sitting at the table looking at a fixed point.

Carlos turned to see you “I’m giving you the divorce,” He informed you, moving the papers that were on the table towards you.

You stared at him for a moment “What?” you asked him in disbelief

“I’m giving you the divorce if that’s what you want”

“I heard you” You swallowed hard. How had that happened? Was he letting you go? “Are you giving up on us?

“I just want you to be happy,” He murmured “And the last two weeks? You were the most miserable person I’ve ever seen and I hate that for you,” Carlos explained getting up from the table “I’m sorry it’s because of me because I was an idiot”

“I’m sorry if I can’t avoid my humour,” you replied scathingly, crossing your arms over your chest.

“The last thing I want is for you to be miserable because of me”

“Giving me the divorce would be the least you could do after what you have done,” you pointed out. You didn’t want a divorce. You loved him, but you needed Carlos, to be honest, and willing to make changes. Not to repeat the same mistakes that had brought you there above all.

“We have a daughter that will need two parents that can coexist. We need to end this before we can’t even look at each other,” He pointed out.

He was giving up on you. As simple as that. He was letting you go and you couldn’t feel any more pain than what you were experiencing at that moment “You don’t think we can solve it?” You asked in a whisper.

“Last night you said you hated me,” He explained to you “I don’t think there is a point of return from that” Carlos added getting close to you “Also, you said something that made me think, I wanted to take a break from the races, not from you, nor from Sofia”

“Oh,” You frowned. He was referring to what he had said in his driver’s room. So he didn’t want a break from family life?

“You should explain it to me better. I’m sorry,” Carlos made a face.

“You should have just said it, not gone incognito for a weekend,” You agreed with a nod “And lie to me about it and hide things from me”

“I was wrong, I know, I’m sorry,” He admitted. At least Carlos was taking full responsibility for his actions.

“You didn’t ask me why I hate you”

“Why do you hate me?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“For making me love you,” You replied before letting out a sigh “That’s the thing, I love you so much” You bit your lower lip “And that’s a problem cause I can forgive all the stupid things you do, for all the love I’ve for you, for our little family, for our daughter”

“Do you think you can forgive after all this?” He asked, and you were silent for a minute before nodding slightly. You could at least try “You don’t want the divorce?”

“No,” You frowned “Why would I? I want us to work, but I need you to do better, be better Carlos, please”

“I will,” He assured you, nodding energetically before moving closer to you to wrap his arms around you. You had missed contact with him so badly “I’m so sorry, amor“ Carlos murmured against your hair “Are we ok?” He asked after a moment.

You bit your lower lip, you wanted to be honest with “No” you murmured softly but raised your head to give him a small smile “But we will be, eventually” you added confidently.

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