#and people were kind to me

[zalkester]

on one hand: minecraft java edition and potentially new buddies to play w

on the other hand: oh my fucking god what if they hate me. what if im annoying

#tired post #and then. and then. #i remember the times i was invited to friend groups before #and everything worked out #and people were kind to me #and accepted me #and nothing went wrong #and everything was okay #... #okay maybe i'll be fine

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

#writeblr #i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat #and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity #1. i am 30. #2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months. #3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did #i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her #and secondly. #OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT #briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing

[noecoded]

heartbreaking:the worst people you know just started an emo band

#the worst TWO people you know.beel got dragged into tjis #their band iscalled fatal attraction.asmo came up w it #&they give beel lollipops on stage so he can use both his hands but stillhas something 2munch on...... #someone said asmo wld be problematic like 2000s jeffree star and i yhinkthey were on to somethinng #i think his interpersonal conduct with fans would be really distasteful in a way that bands cld only get away with during the 2000s #he wld be well liked. but he wouldhave an effect on them that permanently dmgs their taste in partner and psyche #like his ego wld be just kind of annoying until fans start getting his signature tattooed onthem and stuff and it would immediately go to #asmos head so badd to the point where being arnd him is like an impossible task unless ur the worldsbiggest pushover& soo patient #mine #obey me #asmo #beel #belphie

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i don't THINK this counts as face horror but just in case #face horror #for your daily dose of me losing my mind over anime characters #i don't know why the hair thing surprised me so much. i think because i thought it was funny that lilia named silver after his hair color. #like ha ha lilia is hilariously bad at names how cute and silly! #oh. oh it's kind of a Thing. #anyway i am excited to see where the heck all of this stuff with silver's various dads ends up! #we still don't actually know who killed meleanor! #we still don't know literally anything about dad draconia! (dadconia? dradconia?) #we don't know what happened to the macguffin gem with its magical dad-saving powers! #(surely this will not come back to save a certain dad at a later point. of course not.) #man i was not expecting episode 7 to be all dads all the time #i mean i'm here for it but #hey remember when the highest stakes were who was gonna win the big talent show #then robots started kidnapping people and now we've just escalated from there #episode 8 our cat is going to turn into a drippy ink kaiju and we're going to have to mecha battle him to save the world or something #each member of diasomnia pilots a limb and we gattai into a giant robot dragon and hold on i gotta submit this spec script to aniplex brb

[jomeimei421]

Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙

#rvb #agent washington #agent Carolina #lavernius tucker #michael j caboose #epsilon #my art rvb #ahhh a lot of feelings…of course I stepped away from rt as a company a long time ago #but RvB is special to me!! it was my first fandom experience ever #and the community here on tumblr specifically was so instrumental to me growing up #I really could not have asked for a better community of artists and writers to grow up in. I know it sounds like platitudes when I say #that everyone was super nice and talented but REALLY. People were so kind to me and somehow I became well known despite #my art and writing and me in general still being immature and hashtag cringe #I found my creative legs and #people would respond to my stuff with walls and walls of support in the tags and we would do exchanges and events every year #I made my first lyric comic and it’s still doing extremely well on YouTube even today!! my dad who passed away recently always loved it #and my favorite RvB writer came out of hibernation to write me a bunch of text wall asks about it #I’ve never had another fandom experience quite like RvB #I still keep in touch with many of my friends from that time period even though we’ve all moved on the other things #these guys will always always have a place in my heart #so long reds and blues….

[rassicas]

Thank God splatoon 3 didn't end up introducing a playable cuttlefish dlc like I feared last year (I honestly don't think we need more new playable species, would've been too sudden, my expectations were on the floor after rotm) but the cuttlefish visuals are still so suspicious to me. This hat has to be on purpose. That's absolutely not a fucking squid or octopus

And this is undeniably a cuttlefish (and the double fin shape resembles the hat)

Like how the lack of mammals in the splatoon world and ark Polaris was something suspicious in the previous games, and characters like marigold and Glen fiddler and lil judd are suspicious now.... It's way more subtle but I think this could be the splatoon team planting some seeds in case they decide to introduce cuttlefish as a separate species in the splatoon world. ill be keeping it in the back of my mind

#splatoon #People called me crazy for insisting there was ZERO wild mammals in the splatoon world #This will be my tin foil hat for splatoon 4 #It could be that they just don't figure out how to incorporate cuttlefish and scrap it #Again I don't mind I don't think splatoon needs more playable species #But some acknowledgement of cuttlefish which we know exist and seem to be a kind of inkfish would be nice #My tentative plot prediction is we travel far away. There's been a lot of mention of travel in s3 #And there happen to be cuttlefish in this distant region we go to #Which would explain why we haven't seen them up until now #Inklings were told that octolings lived very far away which is the reason given for how pearl didn't recognize marina as an octoling #So distance to explain a lack of cuttlefish doesn't seem to far fetched

[ithinkimauggie]

Mm, yes... The one you call Benrey...

I've been advised by my employers that, his true nature is on something of a "need-to-know" basis...

And you, Doctor Freeman, do not need to know...

ayo fuck this painting lol have another cropped vers

#augsartt #hlvrai fanart #hl2vrai #hlvrai2 #hlvrai benrey #hlvrai benry #hlvrai #digital painting #art #digital art #my art #ugghhh this one was such a pain #i kept pushing myself and it turned out good but it took THREE DAYS #EWW MY ADHD BRAIN HATED THAT SHIT #and i defo over rendered but its fine fuck it lol #thank you to all the people who were so kind in the tags of my Gordon painting!!! #you guys gave me the motivation to get this one done so alsd;jf thanks <3 #ily all 😭😭 #pose is inspired by that one scene from Chicago lol #they both reached for the gun is the number you should watch it #okey goobie

[galentir]

My poster for MegaCon London 2024! 👻👻👻

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #jatp art #jatp fanart #my art #the con and the trip to london were absolutely amazing #i met so many nice people and got the chance to gift prints of these to the people I met and to Madi Jeremy and Owen! #as you can see I made this before Charlie jumped off but Owen was so kind to gift one to Charlie for me :D #they were all so happy and nice I still cannot comprehend it #I also made a keychain of the Reggie art I made (with his bass in Finally Free) and gifted that to Jeremy who was very cute about it #overall he gave me two hugs for the gifts and a high-five for my Reggie outfit :D #this seriously made my year already

[aslyran]

A moment of respite

#the lost woods are such a home in botw to me #even when you carve a home out of the house in hateno it never feels as comfy as this #kind of like #meeting w people who knew you when you were a child #and youre diffrent now and they don’t mind but you can tell they’re kinda impressed by how much someone can change #idk #i feel like other iterations of Link held the responsibility of their destiny like a weighted blanket #while this one carries it like a tumbling shrine #well #anyways #yahaha #fanart #link #legend of zelda #link botw #botw #loz #loz botw #loz link #breath of the wild

[thattheater-kid]

You know what’s wild about being a fictive? Missing your old life even though it was shitty because it’s a shittiness you were used to. The life you’re living now is a new kind of shitty that feels unpleasant in a different way.

#maybe it’s stupid to miss the life I had #it sucked #so much #I hated it actually #I prayed every night that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning and cried when I did #I’m still doing that tbh #this is a different kind of suck though #I want my old life back #those people were shitty but they were MY shitty people #maybe I just got used to the horrible conditions I was living in #and now I miss it even though it was horrible #just because it’s familiar to me #maybe it’s the difference between the physical discomfort I felt in my old life #vs the emotional discomfort I feel now #maybe I should talk to my therapist #or go to bed #did system #plural #plurality #actually plural #actually did #plural system #system things #dissociative system #fictive #fictives #fictive culture #system culture #plural culture

[shimmershy]

Buttercups and Golden Flowers

#i drew this mostly because i noticed that a lot of people mistake buttercups and golden flowers as being the same thing. #so i wanted to try drawing them like. distinctly different in the same image. #it's not a big thing but i do think the fact that they're different has some significance. or at least like. symbolic meaning. #my art #undertale #chara #chara dreemurr #safeutdr #something about the fact that they both look similar at least in color but one of them is poisonous. #the way golden flowers are clearly a positive symbol throughout the game and clearly heavily associated with Chara. #contrasted with the very negative connotations buttercups have. with asgore getting sick and chara using them in their plan. #you never see buttercups in the game. which makes it even easier to mistake the two. because we've only seen one kind of #golden/yellow flower. who's to say 'golden flowers' aren't just referring to buttercups? well. #why would there be golden flower tea if they were poisonous? why would chara want to see the golden flowers from their village if they're #the same kind of flower? they clearly have buttercups in the underground. #it feels almost intentional the way golden flowers are so easily mistaken for buttercups. or at least that the difference is so subtle. #it goes well with the way they're associated so strongly with chara who's also a very subtle yet important part of the narrative. #from a surface-level perspective the flowers that took their life and the one's they actually like/are important to them are the same thing #but when you pay closer attention to the narrative you can see the different symbolic meanings. #well. uhh I've thought about it too much don't mind me. #see i think about it from the perspective of chara being super adamant about them being two different flowers #and frustrated when anybody gets it wrong. because clearly. CLEARLY they're not the same. #'STOP confusing buttercups and golden flowers. i literally used buttercups to kill myself do you think i would still like them after that?' #'do you think i want to be associated with them? they're not the same!!' #<number one golden flower enjoyer number one buttercup hater. #i need a badge that says 'i have strong opinions about chara dreemurr because i kin them. i apologize for the wall of text' at this rate.

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[b1deo]

You said you drew Tim with too surgery scars in that one picture but covered them up because you liked his outfit, so are you able to do a drawing so we can see his scars? ε>

This is kinda rough, but you get the idea!!! Also added a Brian for dramatic effect (trans tape Brian, beloved… I miss him every day…)

ALSO! extra art and the original uncovered version here, cause it’s just been lying around pdfdhdd-

#marble hornets #marble hornets fanart #tim wright #brian marble hornets #brian thomas #tim wright marble hornets #also to all the other people who have sent me asks #I am so incredibly sorry for not responding #I only noticed them MONTHS after they were sent #and now I feel awkward about responding #BUT THANKS FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!! #asks #my art

[egophiliac]

hiii im sure you’ve answered this before but in regards to your twst x Pokémon, how do you choose which Pokémon go give to the cast?? really curious since your choices are unique :O

unique in a good way, I hope? 😅 (jk jk I haven't come across too many pokemon AUs, so I was going in without preconceptions, I guess!) I was sorta aiming somewhere between doing, like, a full AU with internal consistency and everything, and just picking entirely based on theme/character, so maybe that's why! basically I just set some arbitrary rules (no legendaries/no repeats/evo stages based on year) and then went on ~vibes~. a couple were also suggestions (thank you guys!) and last-minute decisions, so it was a bit of a delightful mess of ideas!

my one regret is that I should have given Riddle a Togedemaru after all. ...you know what, he can have one now, why not

#art #twisted wonderland #pokemon #poketwst #okay i have one other correction to make #which is that i think vil should also have a garbodor #NO LISTEN #i have thought about it a lot but i just do not want to give him a milotic #and this is because -- now hear me out #neige would actually be the one with a milotic #(it fits his personality more and it's even in his colors!) #when they were kids vil had a trubbish and neige had a feebas and vil felt superior until the whole milotic thing happened #and he's secretly kind of bitter about it #but he also secretly loves his garbodor a lot and gets mad when people make fun of it #IS HE NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF THEM #also garbodor ferments poison inside of it! it would be the perfect alchemy assistant! #I'M RIGHT OKAY #(i am also a big fan of trubbish/garbodor and i don't personally think they're ugly anyway) #anyway enjoy this drawing because it completely exploded my computer #(it was not the drawing's fault it was just unfortunate timing) #i've mostly got things working again but oof. it's been. a day. 🙃