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#and to an extent she doesn't really have anyone

hoom · 21 hours

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i saw your tags about cameron being more similar to house than wilson and if you have any notes or explanations on that i'd love to hear them! cameron is such an interesting character and i feel like she's really not analyzed enough

she isn't! idk if it's because people simply forget the earlier seasons as they progress with the show, but they forget cameron is an actual character who is written as consistently as any other character in the show save for house himself. not liking her is one thing but to dismiss her as if she isn't one of the most important people in house's life when her love literally got him out of that building is. lol

cam and wilson have a lot of similarities: they’re self-sacrificing to a detrimental extent, they value social niceties and acts of kindness, caring and empathetic, multiple marriages, in love with a sewer rat, etc. but they sort of stop there. cameron is a strongly moral character; wilson’s morals are flexible to the point of being barely there. cameron won’t sacrifice her values for the sake of making anyone feel better; all that wilson cares about is making other people feel better, preferably to his own detriment. cameron is much more sensitive and emotionally driven than wilson imo, you can see her actively struggle to put her feelings in the backseat in pretty much every situation, while that seems to come as second nature to wilson (though cameron gets better at that through experience). but she is also much more stable and true to herself than wilson, who struggles with letting his true feelings show with anyone other than house (simply because he knows his friend won’t give a shit). you see house call cameron “pathetically sincere” and that’s something you’d never hear him say about wilson considering his pathology is that he loves Everybody, with no discrimination. i think their specialties also speak to their own personalities: wilson is an oncologist, all of his patients already have cancer and most likely will die from it; his job is to treat them but it’s also to make them feel better about their imminent fate. cameron is an immunologist, taking care of someone’s autoimmune system with the sole focus of getting them stronger. this is also their approach to house himself btw

house and cameron are two sides of the same coin. a lot of people would disagree with me & hugh laurie in saying that house is a strongly moral character, but he is. the difference between himself & cameron is that he doesn't care what people do with their lives. if someone wants to kill themselves after he's done treating them, that's their problem. even when she despised the patient, she couldn't dare to see them live in pain (informed consent) or to play god and kill them herself (the tyrant). they're both extremely sensitive, stubborn and closed off. isolating themselves to the point of making their significant others (stacy and chase) feel lonely in the relationship. they both often look insane to everyone else, but have an innate understanding of each other. cameron opened herself up to house in a way she could never do with chase because she saw him, and she was the only person he truly emotionally connected with other than wilson. she was bothered by his impersonality and he was bothered by her sensitivity, because she wore with pride something he thought made him (and other humans) lesser. they tried to bring characters like masters & adams (even park?) to act as foil to house but it didn't work because they lacked what cameron and house had: a relationship.

#ask #thanks for this i've been trying to articulate it for a long time <3 #house md #allison cameron

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s1m0nth3swaggy · 20 hours

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Something I haven't seen anyone talk about yet is how valid Charles anger at the night nurse was.

Like, this woman showed up, lied to his friend/ crush and then continued to tell him that he and his best friend of 30 years, who's always been there for him, have to split up and go to the afterlife??

Needless to say that makes him mad, like Charles is such a caring person he doesn't want any harm to come close to the people he loves. He would personally fight all the Endless if it meant keeping them safe. He's that guy.

But then the night nurse DIGS into his memories, reminds him of the awful shit that happened to him and has the AUDACITY to say that Charles has nothing keeping him from going to the afterlife because the world sucks? He already knew that. Doesn't mean he didn't find beauty in it. He's found friends, love, a goddamn purpose, and that random lady just tells him it's for nothing

Honestly, who wouldn't have ticked out? I think it was actually pretty reasonable of him to react that way, given everything that's happened to him and everything the night nurse did (no hate to her, she was just doing her job and I love her as a character)

What baffles me even more is that Crystal can't understand it. Like, shouldn't she know what Charles feels like to a degree? She knows what he struggles with to a point, and even though none of them know the full extent, instead of just being like "it was scary you acted that way" a normal reaction would've been to be worried about Charles, no? I mean yes, she was traumatised by David and strongly saw him in Charles at that moment (or better said, feared they were a little alike), but if my friend ticked out like that, I'd want to know the reason.

We know thought that Charles doesn't like opening up, but from what he said afterwards, it's pretty clear he has conflicted feelings about his whole situation

Maybe it's just me but I think that the way rhey went abozt it wasnt really a good way to deal with it? Like, Crystal was pissed at the night nurse as well for lying to her, and Edwin also doesn't want to go to the afterlife. I'd personally have like pretty much the same reaction as Charles if someone showed me how shit my life was and then just figured my being as ghost couldn't possibly be better. I think Charles was being reasonable, honestly. I also think that yes, it was a harsh reaction, but one that should've worried the others rather than make them be somewhat condescending (at least that's what their reactions always feel like to me?)

#dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #edwin paine #charles rowland #crystal palace

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tmntkiseki · 2 days

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles Forever Liveblog

Movie opens with the Purple Dragons doing a robbery of some sort. Hun, what are you up to?

I really, really love the little sequence that introduces the 2003 turtles. The animation is so slick and cool-looking.

Also, it's kind of interesting how the 2003 segments are animated in a (more detailed) version of the Back to the Sewer style, with Splinter, Casey, and April maintaining their BttS designs? But the turtles themselves look more like how they did during Fast Forward (it's because we're back to having white slits for the eyes, thank god.)

Seriously, if Back to the Sewer had looked more like this, it probably wouldn't be the only 2003 art style I do dislike to an extent.

We were only just properly introduced to the 1987 turtles and I'm already understanding why people abhor how they were characterized for this movie (I say this as someone who has literally only seen two episodes of the 1987 series. Specifically, the very first one and the Mona Lisa episode.)

Hun is gonna regret taking that mutagen BIG TIME.

03!Mikey likes the initialed belt buckles.

Underrated animation detail: the 1987 turtles are animated using a simple one-color shading approach while the 2003 turtles are animated with more detailed two color shading.

87!Raphael's reaction to meeting 03!Splinter is adorable.

I'm glad that 03!Mikey is enjoying the company of the 87 turtles, at least.

I know a major sore spot for this movie is the fact that the original 1987 actors couldn't reprise their roles due to circumstances out of anyone's control, but I am loving 87!Shredder's voice.

BEBOP AND ROCKSTEADY

03!Raphael getting mad at 87!Donatello for kill stealing is making me laugh more than it should

I hate to break it to you, Krang, but 03!Shredder and 03!Krang are one and the same.

87!Shredder being disappointed that 03!Shredder is an Utrom is hilarious knowing that the little red blob is actually an intergalactic terrorist who has literally killed billions of people over the last several centuries.

All it took to wake up Ch'rell was 87!Shredder referring to himself as, well, the Shredder. Nice to see being frozen in a block of ice didn't get rid of his ego.

Other things from Back to the Sewer I do like: The Hauler. It's a massive improvement design-wise over the moving van from Seasons 4/5 that served as the second Battle Shell.

Poor, poor, foolish 87!Shredder and Krang. If there's anything I've learned watching the 2003 series, it's that you can't keep Oroku Saki/The Shredder/Ch'rell down forever.

KARAI IS HERE, BABY

Honestly, I do like Karai's outfit from Back to the Sewer. If she had her original haircut and was depicted in a different art style (you know, one that doesn't make her look like stick), I'd actually say I'm quite fond of her overall design. (I have a similar attitude towards BttS!Casey, too.)

Karai is seriously not taking any shit from the 1987 antagonists

03!SPLINTER REFERRING TO BOTH DONATELLOS AS HIS SONS AAAAAAAAAAH

Hun, repeat after me: I do not want the 87 ooze. The 87 ooze is bad. Bad things will happen to me if I try to get more of the 87 ooze.

He didn't listen.

Other aspects of Back to the Sewer I appreciate that show up in Turtles Forever: The 03 Turtles directly addressing Splinter as "Father" rather than "Master."

Hun, I fucking told you that you did not want that mutagen!

Damn, Hun must feel humiliated bowing down to the Shredder and calling him "Master" again. (Not like he has a choice. Are the Purple Dragons even going to listen to him anymore?)

RAHZAR????

Damn, this is the third time that the 2003 Turtles have had their home destroyed ;A; They're so used to it at this point that they don't even react in anguish this time.

Oh boy, even Mikey is finally sick of the antics of the 87 turtles (though in his defense, they did kinda teleport out of their lair when Splinter was in trouble and all four 03 turtles are worried sick for their dad.)

They deliberately had 87!April getting kidnapped by the mutant banana after the turtles left to make her seem more helpless when compared to the 03 version, didn't they?

This scene with 87!Splinter giving 03!Leo and 03!Raph some bowls of rice, oh my GOD ;A;

Hun isn't wrong that as long as they have Splinter, the turtles will come running. These boys would do anything to protect/save their father.

How many people do you think died when 03!Shredder unleashed the Technodrome on New York City?

Turtles Forever is a lot more... destructive than I was expecting. (2003 dimension is straight up getting TRASHED.)

Okay, that bit where Leo pointed out that at least Raph isn't stuck riding on the blimp like Mikey is got me to laugh.

2003 turtles are slowly but surely warming up to the 87 turtles. This is development I like to see.

"If there is one constant in the multiverse, it is the predictability of you turtles! Threaten something you hold dear, and you will ignore your better instincts!" You didn't have to call them out like that, Ch'rell.

SAME AS IT NEVER WAS

God, the fact that The Next Mutation is the only major iteration not featured when Shredder does his entire rant on the multiverse and how the turtles pretty much always win XD

NOT THE TURTLES

Casey was straight up going to cry when he thought the turtles had all disappeared with the Technodrome.

2003 dimension literally being reduced to inks, blue pencils, and then flat out nothing is really cool from an animation standpoint but also highkey terrifying

Welp, this scene confirms that the Purple Dragons are, in fact, still listening to Hun despite the fact that he's been mutated. That's good for him, I guess.

The scene where April and Casey disappear, HELP

"Ain't exactly Mister Roger's Neighborhood, is it?" -- 03!Raphael, accurately describing Turtle Prime. (He loves it.)

Mirage!Leonardo's narration as he and his brothers fight the 03 and 87 turtles JDSKGJDFKJGKF (Doesn't help that it's ripped directly from issue 1)

Mirage!Raph calling the 03 and 87 turtles sellouts on account of the multicolored headbands... wheeze.

Karai really is having second thoughts about helping her father destroy the multiverse, huh?

Fucking Mirage!Shredder getting taken out by the 87 and 03 turtles hurling a bunch of garbage at him SJGKJDFGKFDKGJ

"If there's one constant in the multiverse, it's the Shredder's big fat ego!" Oof, 03!Leo.

Shredderzilla?

KRANGZILLA?

The only thing this final fight is missing is 87 and Mirage!Splinter.

Okay, seriously, what was with that bit where 87!Leo, Raph, and Mikey all broke down in tears and looked to 03!Raph for comfort?

WHEEZE, THE MIRAGE TURTLES ACTUALLY SCARED 03!SHREDDER

Ch'rell seriously does not care that he is literally going to destroy himself if he destroys the Mirage turtles, Jesus Christ.

And the Turtles Multiverse was saved... By Bebop and Rocksteady?

This bit where the 87 and 03 turtles use each other's catchphrases as they say goodbye is really sweet.

"Oh, I sure hope this thing sells." "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing." Sobs.

#star's turtle talk #I'll definitely be typing up a post with more coherent thoughts once I've had time to sleep on this movie #Like past liveblogs this is all just my gut reactions haha #Not reflective of my final opinions

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nightiingaled · 9 months

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Saw something from someone else that made me think about mentioning something I don't talk much about - Mel is overpowered. So much so that the Angels of Heaven tried to have her killed (among other entities of Power).

The Primordials are more powerful beings than the Olympians - they are the threads of existence itself. With simply those abilities - Mel is a demigod with far more power than SAFE™.

But she's not just any god's kid - she's DEATH's. She holds the power of the Threads of Life & Death in her fingertips. But worse, she does not have her father's apathy. She does not have his binding duty to universal balance.

She is Primordial but untethered by the universal constructs the Primordials represent.

Mel shouldn't exist. Death cannot create Life. Her existence shatters that Universal constant.

Mel represents the thing In Between & Outside existence itself.

Because of all of this, she has great, monstrous powers that even some Gods fear.

#mel has the capacity to be one of the most terrifying things to exist #and Simply Doesn't TM #her friends; her dogs; her /family/ - they all ground her #but without control of her abilities she's dangerous #with control of her abilities - she's a terror #♜ facts ⇾ mel.#also this is not a dig at anyone #no one has to have their muse be scared of her or anything #she's Just Mel TM #but i forget to talk about it sometimes #that she really is extremely powerful #she just both doesn't know the extent #but also doesn't Want To

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cyberm4n · 3 months

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You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)

alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!

pt1, pt2

this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!

tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21

cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive

other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.

left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.

■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least

■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship

■ which both are fine with btw

■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever

■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him

■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage

■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know

■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor

■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before

■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.

■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you

■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything

■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it

■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it

■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling

■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you

■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other

■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast

moving on

■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that

■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them

■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge

■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart

■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would

■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do

■ same if you're upset with both

■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition

■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(

■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.

■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough

■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments

■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt

■ anyways, they both come in, it's late

■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little

■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely

■ you've never cried like this before

■ it scares them. alot.

■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.

■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you

■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.

■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone

■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset

■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back

■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night

■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised

■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.

"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.

"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.

"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.

"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.

"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.

lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.

■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"

■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times

■ but he's impressed alastor even asked

■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.

■ that night changed a lot between them tbh

■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed

■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.

■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities

■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist

■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable

■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing

■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous

■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him

■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.

■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted

■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure

■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"

after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.

he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.

without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.

and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.

and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.

as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.

“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”

when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.

after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.

alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:

“just keep cuddling her”

#lucifer smut #alastor smut #hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #lucifer morningstar #radioapple #alastor the radio demon #alastor x lucifer #smut #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer

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barblaz-arts · 2 months

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Fellow Chaggie shipper, here and I wanted to ask you a question. Could you please do an analysis post on the Chaggie argument from Hello Rosie. I know this will sound weird but I can't get over the level of icy anger Charlie had towards Vaggie or how despite everything going on, Charlie is more hurt from Vaggie not being honest with her. Just angst all around.

Oh yeah sure I'd love to!

I'm not sure there's a lot I can say about that argument that isn't already super obvious, so I wanna talk about Charlie's anger because of something my brother said as we watched episode 7. He loved that episode apparently because "When they're separated, it's even more obvious that Charlie is the one who's more quick to lose her cool." Which, looking back, is actually true!(To an extent)

Vaggie and Charlie are both quite quick to anger. Charlie is just better at hiding it because she's a chronic people pleaser. Although Charlie wouldn't immediately show her anger at a person being a jerk to her specifically, she's immediately summoning fire and brimstone over anyone who hurts/insults her friends or the cause she's fighting for.

Love this lil bit in "You Didn't Know". How Vaggie is the one telling Charlie to calm down, as if she knows what's about to happen. She knows that if she doesn't at least try to reel in her girl Charlie would be spitting literal fire at a goddamn seraphim.

It would seem like such a surprising role reversal, but if you look at all the times Charlie would lose it whenever Vaggie's not there to tell her "babe, chill", then it makes sense.

But then when their fallout happens, Charlie's short temper is even more apparent. She calls Alastor an asshole to his face even though she considered choosing his support over her father's. She openly glares and rolls her eyes at Rosie when she jokes that her and Alastor look like an item even though she still kept things cordial with Valentino after he licked her arm. She flips the bird at some old lady even though she didn't take visible offense at all the demons that inserted their crude and rude selves in "Happy Day in Hell." While she was cold and subdued even when upset with Vaggie, she was explosive and in ur face when she was pissed at everyone else.

Vaggie reigned in both the girl in Charlie who dreams a little too big and the demon who's waiting to lash out in flames. It really makes me wonder if there's a difference in the kind of person Charlie used to be before Vaggie. Before she had friends to be angry on behalf of and a person to calm her down. And then, in the wake of their argument, Charlie is left with a lot of anger that is easy to ignite.

But I love love love that despite all that anger, Charlie can't bring herself to deny that she loves Vaggie with all of her hurt heart.

This little moment is one of my favorite parts in the series. My brother mentioned that this episode and episode three were his favorites because he liked the beats the dialogues followed. So he looked back--

(the man literally paused the episode to check the opening credits of ep 7 and 3. I was a little annoyed because I just wanted my Chaggie dammit! We'd make terrible youtube reactors with all the pausing and discussing mid-episode that we do...)

--and was satisfied to see that it was written by the same person, Ariel Ladensohn. Apparently she's in a sapphic relationship too and projected her own experiences whenever she wrote Vaggie and Charlie, and it must have paid off because the moments she wrote with them felt so real.

Charlie expressing her fear that even Vaggie's support and love could also be part of the lies she told was understandable considering the betrayal she felt. But immediately following that she goes "Oh that's a horrible to thing to think!" which I love even more. Even when she's understandably mad she thinks about how Vaggie would feel over Charlie thinking that of her. Because although Vaggie lied about who she is, Vaggie was always sincere about how she felt for Charlie. Vaggie's past may have been a lie, but the things she did for, to, and on behalf of Charlie were very real and held dear in Charlie's heart.

I dont have anything smart to say to conclude this. Sorry, I'm not even sure where I went here. Let's all just appreciate the smile Charlie has on her face when she thinks about Vaggie even when she's under a lot of stress I guess.

#asks #hazbin hotel #chaggie #truly love charlie as a character #i dont agree with people who say that charlie didn't feel like the main character of the show #she is still very much the heart and star of the story #if they felt more drawn to the male characters that isn't fully the show's fault #Alastor didn't even have as much screentime as i thought he would have #which is good!#he's entertaining but better in certain doses

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rawliverandgoronspice · 3 months

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Always a bit puzzled by people saying that anyone who wanted long-term consequences for TotK Zelda's sacrifice are "edgy".

I'm not even particularly in the camp that she should have remained a dragon forever (I think this should have been Ganondorf's fate, it would have been sooo much more impactful than to explode him and move on but anyway). To be honest, I wish the rules for turning back would have been 1) clear 2) active gameplay on the player so that it feels like it's something we have earned, and 3) not make her have amnesia about it and/or at least having her gain some crucial insight because of the experience.

(also: doesn't she crave knowledge? isn't that insanely mean to have her watch over every civilization and every bit of history ever and then take it away from her? kind of dislike how totk privileges the comfort of the player's feelings over what the characters would actually want or need tbh)

To be perfectly honest, I fully expected us needing to turn her back before engaging Ganondorf so we would fight him together, especially since Zelda as a compagnon exists in the game code already (though in a very subdued state). It feels very very strange to me that all of this mechanic of Sages following us existing and yet we never have the very climactic cool Zelda-staple moment of facing Ganondorf or Ganon together (OoT, WW, TP, ST and probably more that I'm forgetting all did this in some way --even BotW had Zelda more involved than in TotK). I'm not sure Mineru was a compagnon that was needed over Zelda honestly, especially given the kind of non-insight she gives us on the zonai (even if the idea of the mecha is cool, it really could have been Zelda using her zonai + sheikah knowledge to pilot one for us or something).

But anyway: yeah, even if this isn't what I would have wanted personally, I think wanting Zelda to remain a dragon is kind of arguably more respectful of her relationship to Link, in a way, that what the game ended up doing. When she enacted this sacrifice, Zelda decided to trust him to such a extent that she lost herself, reciprocated his trust in her and his devotion to her, and now the future of Hyrule exists beyond her and beyond what Hyrule once was, but she trusts them to follow through and be happy and she will watch over them from the stars moving on. It's fine if we manage to save her from that fate, but even if we don't, honestly this sounds like a beautiful story/tragic romance to me, if you want to read it that way. Tragedy doesn't necesserily involve edginess. Fictional pain isn't always mean, or out to get you.

#totk #totk critical #zelda #link #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#take it from me: a professional edgelord #but genuinely I was quite disappointed when I realized I wouldn't get to fight alongside Zelda at all #I thought for sure the first descent was a setup for the final descent when we would be reunited #and then confront Ganondorf together #I don't know to me that would have just made sense #she's the one with the most beef with that man Link is honestly just here so she doesn't have to call an über afterward #link doesn't have half as much reasons to want ganondorf dead as zelda does #which didn't help the feeling that I had as much emotional investment in the situation than the friend you call when you get in trouble #ganondorf isn't even directly responsible for zelda returning to the past NOR turning into a dragon! the guy has no idea what's going on!#anyway. this game's plot is very weird.

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personasintro · 8 months

Text

Mutual Help | #53

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 18.4k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢

It's fascinating how even after getting back to the front of Jungkook's car and a few minutes of riding back to the house, you can still feel the remains of the faintest – yet very noticeable – tingle from your previous orgasm. Jungkook – who remains to have that captivating orgasm glow or it's just your mind playing tricks on you – has put an end to your thirst, or at least that's what you thought for a short period of time. That's until you find yourself glancing his way while the aftermath of a great orgasm buzzes through your body.

If you weren't suspiciously coming back later than the actual ride is supposed to take, you wouldn't resist a possible round two. You can't believe yourself. This is not really like you. You never were driven by lust and pleasure before – at least not to this amount. Jungkook does wonders, not only to your body but to your mind as you often find yourself rethinking... well, yourself.

It's hard to explain, but it's like he brings out another person in you. Someone you never knew existed, at least not to this extent. You know the pleasure he gives you and the undeniable attraction is the reason why you're still doing this. It feels too fucking good to let go.

Before the unwanted thoughts start to invade your mind, the content feeling of being properly fucked just a few minutes ago is replaced by guilt. Not only Jungkook's father questions you of your later arrival, even though you're about ten minutes late, it's Haru and the sight of her that makes you feel bad for allowing yourself a few minutes of – absolutely perfect and irreplaceable – pleasure.

It's some time past nine in the evening, clouds no longer visible as they're replaced by the faintest stars that are sprinkled across the night sky. The garden is fully set up with beautiful outdoor lights, probably the only thing keeping Haru from falling asleep. She looks tired, Taehyung would surely call her wasted if that was possible. She's completely dozing off and though Jungkook's father (or anyone else) doesn't scold you for your arrival, because there's no reason for it, you understand his granddaughter is what sparked his curiosity.

Jungkook lies effortlessly. The lie rolls off his tongue almost skilfully as he blames the traffic and more customers in the grocery store than usual.

No one pays attention to it though, luckily for you, and they go back to their previous conversation. Mr. Jeon rushes to grill the sausages for his only granddaughter, Haru seemingly coming back to life as she assists him with her small hands.

"You really don't know how to act." Jungkook comments, handing you a can of beer which you gladly take, even though you weren't planning on drinking.

"What are you talking about?" you ask, opening the can followed with a hissing sound.

"Guilt is written all over your face, a way to look suspicious." he snorts, your mouth falling open in disbelief while you're being called out.

"Not everyone can lie so easily," you raise your brow at him, finding him cockily shrugging at his good acting skills. "Poor Haru, she's been waiting for the food and we took our time."

"That was us taking our time?" he snorts, raising his brow this time at you as you sheepishly offer him a doubtful shrug. "We both know that's not true. Besides, she was eating like an hour ago, she's not hungry, just greedy."

"Jungkook!" you exclaim, holding back a laugh at his completely honest expression while he shows no big deal of what he has just said.

"What, it's true!" he laughs, "I'm not gonna rush back to the house for some fucking sausages." he mutters mockingly so only you can hear, the beer almost coming out of your nose after you decide to take a sip right as he says it.

You laugh together, not being able to hold it back while you're trying to cover your mouth at least.

"Come on, you two! Join us!" Sona calls out to you, interrupting the moment between you two as she waves you over.

"You're living with Jungkook at the moment, right?"

It's something they all must've known at some point, though this is the first time anyone addresses it besides Mrs. Jeon's phone call you remember very freshly.

"Ah, yes." you grin, a little embarrassed for some reason.

Perhaps it's just you and your issue with not wanting to look incapable or like a burden. It's a whole another chapter to be talking about it in front of Jungkook's family. Though they've never given you a reason to feel embarrassed or weird about anything, you do find yourself tensing a little at the topic. Calm down, Y/N. They're just having a normal conversation with you.

After Sona's question, you offer them a brief explanation of what actually happened and force you to make this decision. They all seem understanding, making no big deal of you staying at Jungkook's place – even though you know there's no reason why they would make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day, it's Jungkook's business and not theirs. You do feel way better when they actually encourage you for your decision, assuring you that you've done the right thing.

"... I don't understand how someone can do that to the person they rent their place to." Mrs. Jeon scoffs a little, the rest of the family members nodding along her words as they silently agree.

"It's unfortunate really," Jungwon agrees, "But this can happen unfortunately."

"You mentioned something about finding a new place?" Sona asks curiously and you nod, a spark of hope crossing over your features as you nod with a smile.

"Yes!" you respond, "Well I haven't been there to see it yet, but the apartment looks good. Actually I texted the owner and I'm still waiting for him to get back to me, it seems like many people are interested in it. That's just my guess though."

"Well, we're gonna hope you get your own home soon." Mrs. Jeon smiles kindly at you. "Nothing's better than having your own place."

"Thank you." you smile kindly at her, appreciating the honesty and kindness.

Jungkook remains silent, at least was busy talking to his dad on the side for most of the time, but he's standing right next to you.

It got a little chilly and though you have one of Jungkook's hoodies on, you feel the warmth radiating off his body and you wish you could just snuggle closer to him to feel even warmer. Plus, you're getting tired even though it's not that late and cuddling always seems like a good option.

Sona and Jungwon say their goodbye's shortly after, poor Haru already falling asleep in her father's arms as he carries her to their car. You help Jungkook's parents to clean up and after the little nudge from Jungkook telling you to go wash up first, you listen to him. He must've noticed your tiredness and you smile at him appreciatively.

The shower feels nice and even though you would prefer taking a long bath, you stick to your shower routine rather quickly not to take up the bathroom for too long. Mr. Jeon takes his turn after the bathroom is free, offering you a tired yet warm smile before he scurries to their bedroom.

You lay on Jungkook's bed with the night lamp on, scrolling through your social media for a couple of minutes until you don't hear any other footsteps. Jungkook didn't come upstairs to wash up and you wonder what's taking him so long. After realizing you didn't bring a bottle of water to the bedroom, you sigh and make your way downstairs.

On your way down, you notice the lights are on in the living room and what sounds like soft sobs reach your ears. You halt your steps, breath hitching when you glance around the corner to find Jungkook's mom whose shoulders quiver as she cries to his shoulder. You mentally gasp at the sad sight, wondering what the hell happened.

Jungkook doesn't notice you at first, too busy hugging his mother with one hand as he gently caresses her arm.

"It's okay, mom." he mutters, voice slightly high while he can't bear the sight of his mother crying.

You don't mean to stick around, feeling like you're interrupting their moment for sure. However, just when you're about to forget the water and retrieve back to the room, Jungkook notices you. He sees the confusion, yet worry on your face while he sends a soft, but broken smile in return. You fight the urge to go there and be there for him, but you know now it's not the right time and you have to put your worry aside.

It doesn't make sense, at least not until Mrs. Jeon sniffles and says into Jungkook's shoulder;

"How could she do that to you?"

You swear your heart drops the moment she speaks, Jungkook's eyes staying on yours while he raises his brows in a silent empathy.

"You went through that all alone?"

Her voice cracks and Jungkook presses his lips together to prevent himself from breaking down. He looks composed though, and strong because no matter what his mother is going through right now after finding out what her son went through, he came to terms with it. He experienced heartbreak, pain and loss, but he's moving on and it doesn't hurt like it used to.

It doesn't make it easier to see his mother's understandable reaction though.

"Shh, I'm okay mom. I'm okay." he assures her, voice slightly breaking as he hugs her closer, placing his cheek against the top of her head as she continues to cry for him.

Deciding you shouldn't stick around, you offer Jungkook a tiny and sad smile before you quickly make your way upstairs.

When the room is swallowed in darkness and you stare into the ceiling, you keep replaying the scene you've just seen. You wonder if she's okay. If Jungkook is too. He seemed fine. He looked mostly sad because of his mother crying which is understandable. Their bond is strong.

It's clear what Jungkook revealed to his mother and though you're not sure how much he told her, you know it had to be heartbreaking to hear it. She loves her sons deeply, and to know Jungkook really had a hard time and she didn't know, wasn't there for him, is enough to be heartbreaking for any mother.

Jungkook never specifically said he won't tell her. But he might've hinted on not wanting to, fearing her reaction and for mostly, hurting her with the truth. In a way, he was protecting her from it.

There are continuous footsteps and sounds of movements outside of the room, soon replaced by door closing and shower running. You keep tossing in the bed, wondering whether you should go downstairs and check on Jungkook once the whole house quiets down.

You don't really want to come out as nosy and if Jungkook wanted to let you know, he would already stop by. Not going to lie, you are curious to know what he told her even though it's obvious. But you're mostly worried.

Sighing in annoyance to yourself, you get out of the bed as your feet pad against the floor. Just as you're reaching for the door handle, it suddenly gets pushed open before you can even touch it, causing you to almost shit yourself.

"Shit!"

"Heard that one before."

"Oh my god," you touch your forehead to rub it a few times as Jungkook sneaks inside the room, the amusement once again present in his voice as he silently laughs at your reaction. "You scared me."

"Where were you going?" he asks, ignoring your statement as you both make your way to the bed. At least you do and Jungkook follows.

"To check on you," you answer. "But I didn't know if I should. I told myself you would come here if you wanted to talk."

"I came." he says gently, getting under the covers with you but you decide not to comment on it.

You lay on your back, back staring at your ceiling as you stay in utter silence. Jungkook lays on his side, turned to you while his fingertips start to draw random patterns on your exposed arm. You gulp, close to shivering from how nice it feels.

"I told her," he says quietly.

You lick your dry lips, humming in return. "What did you tell her?"

Jungkook knows you know what the topic of their conversation was. He hears it in your voice. And he's aware of you asking what exactly he told her. So he simply says;

"Everything."

"Everything as in...?" you trail off and Jungkook chuckles at how careful you appear to be.

"Yes, everything."

That's all you need to know.

"How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly, okay." he says, surprised by himself. "I thought I would feel awful after telling her what I've been through, especially since she asked you and obviously had her doubts. You know I don't want to bother her, not even when it comes to me." he whispers as he explains.

You nod understandably.

"It wasn't easy to see her breaking down in front of me. I don't like to see people I care about cry. It's one of the reasons why I don't share my personal struggles."

"I know, that's awfully touching and annoying for us." you joke quietly, causing him to quietly laugh.

"But she's okay. I think she mostly cried because I didn't tell her sooner. But I think she would cry either way, no matter the time." he chuckles a little sadly.

"Why did you tell her? I thought you didn't want them to know."

"To be honest, I was planning it. I don't really need them looking at me differently, or to pity me from a distance even though I'm aware they all care extremely about me. I just want to be the same Jungkook for them, you know what I mean?"

You nod.

"But when you were talking with Sona, mom and dad, even Jungwon... asked me about Kiko and as you know, I only told them we broke up because our relationship wasn't what it was. They just asked about her, and couldn't possibly understand what must've happened for us to break things off. And I get it, I do. They saw our relationship from the front row as some might say, she was practically our family,"

He takes a breath.

"From what I understood, they thought we're on good terms and I don't know... I guess I felt sick of hiding it from them. It felt right to tell them at that time, so I started with mom. Coincidentally, she asked about how I'm doing and all that, it was just a great opportunity to tell her."

"I'm happy for you, Kook. I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I hope you feel better after telling them." you tell him gently as the caressing of his fingers stops for a second.

"I'm not sure if I feel better, I can't really define it. I just feel like I don't have this burden on my chest, you know?"

"Well, as long as you don't regret telling her, I think it's a good thing you feel this way."

"I don't regret it. I'm gonna tell Jungwon tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet him before we return back home. I asked mom to tell dad, I don't really want to go through that all over again but I'm sure my dad won't cry his eyes out for me. He's a tough guy."

You know what he means.

His father might not have a reaction like his wife had, but it's still going to be painful for him to hear Jungkook's story.

You yawn, turning onto your side to face Jungkook as he retrieves his hand, chuckling at the evident tiredness.

"Shit, I don't know why I'm so tired. I woke up the last out of everyone." you scold yourself, much to Jungkook's amusement.

"I took a number on you, huh?"

You roll your eyes, not really denying it because that has definitely something to do with it.

"Are you gonna sleep here?" you yawn again, cuddling to your pillow as Junkook snorts.

"Of course, this is my bedroom."

With your closed eyes, you smile tiredly. "Your mom–"

"My mom won't do anything," he interrupts you, "What she doesn't know won't kill her."

You snort, "You're unbelievable."

"So are you, baby." he muses, "Now go to sleep."

You let out a laugh, ignoring the flattering of your heart from the usual and dearing pet name, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Jungkook's close and comfortable proximity.

"So... what do you think?"

Jungkook awaited this question, so once you turn around with an excitement plastered all over your face, it's no surprise. You've been practically glowing the moment you crossed the doorstep. To be honest, he's sure you've been impressed as soon as you got out of the car and saw the neighborhood.

You've been back from Busan for three days when the owner of the apartment you're interested in finally gave you the date to go there and have a look. Of course he agreed when you asked him if he's going to accompany you. He promised you he'll be there for you. And so he is.

The building is unique and so is the apartment itself. The owner told you you could bring your own furniture since there's no bed, couch or anything you were forced to sell because of what happened with the other apartment. It doesn't bother you for sure, he's sure of it because he knows you're excited to furniture it again. You're also excited to have a place of your own, even if it's still a rented apartment but unfortunately, you can't afford to get a mortgage nor do you want to do that at the moment.

Jungkook knows all about your plans, you've talked about them a few times.

So when he sees happiness, hope and excitement – there is no reason why he should lie to you.

"It's great. I love it." he smiles and you almost squeal in another excitement but you're trying to contain it.

The owner seems to be nice – in his forties – living nearby with his wife and kids. He loves this apartment so much that he didn't want to hire any real estate agent. He could've easily avoided any other responsibility but it looks like he cares about who's going to live in his apartment. He even tells you – amongst telling you every important information about the apartment – how this was the first apartment he was able to buy. He lived here with his girlfriend who's now his wife.

"It's small enough for four of us, so we had to move out when my wife got pregnant but trust me. If we all could fit here, we would be living here." He told you which made both of you chuckle.

"I would say this place is wonderful for a young couple." Mr. Hwang – as he introduced himself to you – butts in while your eyes widen.

"Oh no, we're not–this apartment is just for me." you explain, Jungkook looking around completely unfazed by the assumption. Don't people always assume something?

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He's quick to apologize.

He had no way to know it's only for you. Well, you did contact him about being interested but you never really shared information about you being the only one who would live there. And to be completely clear, you came here with Jungkook which wouldn't have to mean anything at all – but his assumption isn't this huge mistake.

Still, you find your cheeks getting warm as you assure him it's alright.

Mr. Hwang excuses himself when his phone starts to ring and he leaves you both standing in the middle of the living room.

"Why do people always have to assume whenever a woman is seen with a man, they have to automatically date?" you hiss once he's away.

You turn to Jungkook who looks at you with big eyes, before they narrow into thin slits as he laughs at your showing annoyance.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

Jungkook cracks a grin, "I don't care what people think." he shrugs causing you to groan.

In reality, Jungkook understands your frustration and it's not like you're overly frustrated because of it. Observant and maybe a tad annoyed is the right definition.

"Stop with the sour face."

His brows shoot up as he looks at you confusingly. "What sour face?"

"You really don't want me to move out?" you ask him with a grin, slowly making your way in his direction as the teasing begins and Jungkook is aware of it. Which is why he responds with a roll of his doe eyes.

"I'm happy you found your place."

"That's not what I'm talking about," you point out, giggling when he narrows his eyes at you in annoyance. "Would you really want me to take up your office? Come on, we both know it wasn't ideal."

"I like having you as my roommate," he informs and then cracks a grin, "Even if you take up my office space."

You nudge him in his chest causing him to laugh. You bicker a little, especially by trying to pinch or grab one another. That's until Mr. Hwang comes back, apologizing again for having to take the call. It causes you to act like proper adults instead of kids bickering with each other.

When he asks the important question, you share a look with Jungkook and despite his previous words, he encourages you with a smile and soft nod which makes you look excitedly at Mr. Hwang.

"Yes. I'd love to live here."

The next few days are hectic.

Not only are you about to move into your new apartment, there is loads of stuff to be bought and ordered. Jungkook helps you every step of the way, even driving you to all the furniture shops your mind comes up with. Not mentioning he's the one carrying the heavy things and disassembling your bed.

You feel bad though.

As per usual, he assures you it's okay and he's happy to help. You both know you have no one else who would do this much for you. Jimin and Taehyung would try but – do they even know how to disassemble a single bed? They would probably mess around the whole time.

All of this happened fast.

Mr. Hwang told you you could move in right after the contract has been signed and you paid the deposit. You wouldn't want to waste any more time than it's necessary. So you started ordering the furniture pieces you need, having them delivered to your new address. Everything should arrive tomorrow and today happens to be your last day living in Jungkook's apartment.

Despite your excitement and anticipation of decorating your new home, you do feel sad gathering all your things and packing them back to the boxes that were never thrown away.

Jungkook isn't the only one who got used to having a roommate.

If it was anyone else, you're not sure if you would feel comfortable with them. With Jungkook, everything is different and even if this was for the time being, you felt comfortable and his place felt like home to you.

Not going to lie. You will miss his amazing bathtub and shower.

"You can come take a bath anytime you want."

That's what he told you and brought a smile to your faces.

"Should we do anything special? Celebrate?" Jungkook asks as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Hm, what do you have in mind?"

It's already evening – too late to make any big celebrations. Do you even feel like celebrating? You've both been back to working, even Jimin and Taehyung have been busy with their jobs.

"Take-away and maybe a glass of wine?" he suggests, not really having much to offer considering the time. None of you are in the mood to get dressed up and go out.

After a whole day of working and then packing as soon as you've gotten home – to Jungkook's place – going out is out of the question.

So take-away and a glass of wine it is.

You both clean up, wiping all the sweat from the entire day. While you're in a shower, Jungkook orders food after checking with you and even though you've agreed – you're still touched to see your favorite food which happens to be Korean food from a local restaurant. It's the one that's slightly pricey but worth every penny.

You talk, mostly about tomorrow's plans since you have to wake up early to get to your new place where the new furniture will be delivered. Jimin and Taehyung are supposed to come too to help, which you appreciate. They wouldn't take any of your words for a "no", insisting on helping you. Well, you didn't protest too much. Four people do more work than just two – you're sure Jungkook is the one who's got the most work.

The wine tastes nice and you're on your second glass when you feel your face getting a nice warm temperature. It suddenly makes you oddly sad to be sitting in Jungkook's kitchen, almost like saying goodbye which is ridiculous.

Jimin was right.

You're bad with changes.

You never denied it.

And this is one of them. You know you will bounce back once you're alone, but now having Jungkook close and thinking you won't be waking up every morning knowing there's someone else there, feels sad.

You also know how fortunate you're when it comes to finding this apartment. And for it to be only yours. Most people have to have a roommate, if not more than one. This opportunity feels like a sign for the universe and you should be joyful about it. You are. But you will miss this.

Once you're done, teeth brushed and tucked in Jungkook's bed, there's something unspoken lingering in the air as you both lay in the room with lights off. With your bed already ready to be taken to your new place tomorrow, Jungkook's bed seems like the best option for you and who are you not to use this opportunity. You hate to admit how much you enjoy simply being next to him, a nice feeling before you will have your bed all to yourself and you'll be left alone.

A couple of minutes of constant staring at the ceiling slowly turns to shifting, you sigh as you rub your face. On the other side of the bed, Jungkook turns to face you as the thin sheets rustle around him. You thought he fell asleep by now.

"Are you okay?" he chuckles, causing you to do the same when you realize you haven't been very subtle at showing your lack of exhaustion.

The thing is that you're tired, especially from the wine but somehow you can't fall asleep. It's nothing unusual since it happened to you quite a few times.

"Are you nervous about the moving process?" Jungkook asks softly as you turn to your side to properly face him, a hand tucked beneath your cheek as you give him a sigh.

"No. Not really, I'm excited." you admit, "I just can't seem to be tired enough."

"You know... I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that these days." Jungkook says as your brows shoot up in a silent surprise.

"Proud of me?" you breathe out a chuckle.

"Mhm," he hums, "I know you felt like a nuisance which is far from the truth, I know you hate relying on someone else but look at you. You've found yourself a new place, you've got a good job and you're doing good."

Your heart warms up at his thoughtful and caring words. They feel like the greatest balm onto your beating heart. To hear someone is proud of you – you don't get to hear that often – is something that makes you nearly emotional and you hold back any tears that might come out.

It's not Jungkook's intention to make you cry or him wanting to turn into a sappy person in the middle of the night. He's warm and caring when it's needed but he doesn't say this kind of stuff often either. So it makes you cherish this moment even more.

"Thank you." you whisper softly, smiling at Jungkook who you're not sure can even see you.

A gentle sound comes out of his mouth, the one who tells you he has smiled back.

A sudden urge to pee interrupts the moment though and you groan, informing Jungkook about having to use the bathroom. He laughs while you make your way to the bathroom. Once you're done, Jungkook seems to be still fully awake which isn't much of a surprise. You didn't expect him to be asleep in two minutes – which you wouldn't put past him too much.

You lay back on the bed, adjusting your pillow before your head falls back onto the soft material.

Not even five minutes later, you groan once again rather loudly, slapping your arms at your sides as Jungkook cackles silently. Standing up, you make your way to the kitchen when you turn on the dim lightning. Opening the fridge, you take out the cold bottle of wine that you and Jungkook haven't finished. You pour yourself a glass of wine, hoping for it to tire you some more.

Sipping on the wine, you try not to think about how depressing you must look like – mentally laughing at the image. You've got no thoughts, just simply enjoying the taste of wine and your last night at this place.

A sound of soft footsteps follows and a moment after, Jungkook joins you in the kitchen with squinted eyes as he scans you and the glass of wine in your hand. "You okay?" He cracks a grin as you silently giggle and nod.

Are you? You're not sure because of the lack of clothing he's wearing. You swear you could stare at those abs all day.

"Just can't sleep."

"And wine is going to help?" He grins, wrapping his fingers around your hand as he tilts the glass in his direction as he takes a sip. Lips in a straight line for a second, he tastes the flavor on his lips while his eyes flicker to yours, waiting for your answer.

Too preoccupied with staring at him, you realize you haven't responded as you avert your gaze and crack another grin. "Should it not?"

He leans against the counter, arms crossing over his chest and biceps bulging, you choose to take a sip to distract yourself. But trying to distract yourself in Jungkook's presence is almost impossible, especially when he opens that dirty mouth of his.

"I could've tired you out in a much more sophisticated way."

The wine almost gets through your nose and with a hand over your mouth, you're trying not to choke as Jungkook shoots you a pleased smirk.

He might've caught you off guard, but you can't deny what could possibly be a verbal act of teasing, does to you. Your body heats up at his suggestion and instead of scolding him, you decide to play his own game. That's what the two of you do, right? Tease each other until you properly act on it. You wouldn't mind that outcome to be honest.

"You could've. I don't know why you didn't suggest it while we were in bed." you hum, turning to him a little as you swirl the goldish liquid in your glass.

Jungkook's eyes spark with mischief and amusement, tongue poking his cheek. "I don't need a bed for that though."

One point for him.

"Hm, really?" you muse, biting your lower lip as you finish the glass and place it back on the counter.

Stepping closer to him, you're face to face as you confidently place your palms over his buffed exposed chest. The skin is warm and soft, edging you to feel him up until you have enough. Controlling yourself, you focus on his eyes instead while something rolls in the pit of your stomach. Palms giving him soft caressing, staying solely on his chest, you mimic his tiny smirk.

"So you could ruin me?" You recall what he told you.

The truth is, you haven't forgotten and you've caught yourself thinking about it too many times. What are Jungkook's boundaries? What does he want to do to your body? Perhaps if this was any other man, you wouldn't be so adamant on finding out. But you trust Jungkook with every fiber in your body, there's nothing but curiosity, excitement and lust.

Something flickers in his gaze, a recognition of his once said words as he stares you down amusingly.

"I know what you're doing."

"Hm, what am I doing?" you ask, playfully glancing at him once again as you catch yourself staring at his chest, where your hands caress it.

"You little minx, you know." he chuckles, "You're trying to provoke me."

"Oh, I do?" you feign innocence, chuckling at yourself right after while you and Jungkook share a knowing look.

This constant teasing and provoking is what makes your body heat up. It's hard not to squeeze your legs together as a wave of arousal washes through you.

Jungkook leans down, hands on your lower back as he squeezes your sides, inching his face closer to yours. His nose touches yours and you're embarrassed how quickly you're prepared for the kiss. But the kiss never happens and Jungkook decides to play with you for a while, nudging his nose against yours before he opens his dirty mouth again.

"You horny?"

Groaning and ignoring his laugh, you slap his chest and take a step back. "You just ruined it."

He laughs louder, rubbing his nose before he catches you before you can walk away, turning you with your back facing him. He presses you against him, your ass touching his crotch while he squeezes your hips once again.

"What's ruined can be fixed."

And then he delivers a soft kiss to your jaw.

"That's very debatable." you breathe out, turning around as much as you enjoyed his lips on your skin.

Wanting to gain at least some kind of dominance, you press him harder into the counter as you raise your brow at him in challenge. A tiny smirk comes to your lips. Your hands no longer stay on his chest, making way down to his abs that flex under your touch and you let out a breathy chuckle. Jungkook's watching you, cocking his brow at you when you glance at him. He's waiting for your next step and deciding you want to make him react, you cup his groin as your thumb caresses the head hidden beneath his boxers.

He wasn't expecting you to do that, therefore he flinches at the sudden and straight-forward touch and your lips curve in a silent win.

"What? You think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeve?" you tease, his doe eyes narrowing as he licks his lips.

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you feel your walls of short-lived dominance and power falling down. Especially when he flickers gently your chin with his index finger.

"Not at all."

"So?" You raise your brow in impatience again.

"So, what?"

You roll your eyes while he tries to hide a smile. "I'm starting to think you're all talk, Jeon."

His brows shoot up before he nods with his lips pursed in a mocking manner.

"Yeah, you are. Talking about ruining me, then saying I'm not ready. Whatever that means... and then you don't do any–what the hell?"

Tucking his arms behind your thighs, in one swift movement you're thrown over Jungkook's shoulder. He tries to stabilize you through your yelps and once you're safe, he starts walking to his bedroom.

A rush of excitement overcomes your body and just when you giggle, a slap is delivered onto your ass which shuts you up.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook kicks the bedroom door ajar and sets you onto his bed.

"You want me to ruin you?" he asks, standing at the end of the bed as he stares down at you and your disheveled appearance due to your shock.

Walking to his nightstand, he turns off his night lamp and you get a perfect view of his darkened eyes.

"Isn't that what I asked for?" you breathe out, not hiding how breathy you got all of a sudden. The adrenaline and lust do their job.

"I will ruin you until you cry." It sounds like a promise.

"You sound confident." you comment, smirking as he frowns before he hovers over you.

Not responding, he starts kissing your jaw slowly continuing down your neck as he tugs on your oversized shirt but he doesn't urge you to take it off. Nor he says anything once he pulls away, giving you a subtle smirk before he plops on his back in the middle of the bed. He lowers down onto the soft pillows.

"Come here."

You sit up, confused and curious, and make your way towards him as he ushers you to get on his lap. You do, trying not to stare at the slowly growing bulge between his thighs while he licks his lips.

"Sit on my face."

"Pardon?"

He laughs silently, making himself even more comfortable with your weight on him. "Sit on my face."

You know what that means. Despite not trying it before, you're not a clueless person to these things. You just can't believe you're actually hearing him say it.

"I know it's cliché to say this but... wouldn't I suffocate you? Because I'm not sure if I can hold myself up for too—"

"Y/N, baby," he sighs, "Just fucking come sit on my face."

"Okay." you repeat, releasing a nervous chuckle as you stare down at your shirt.

"Take it off. All of it." he prompts you and you listen.

His eyes never leave your figure, watching silently the entire time you undress right in front of him. He eyes you up and down as if you were the finest meal, even though he has seen you naked more than any of the men you've been before. Men – if they can be called that.

It's one of the things why it works so well between you and him. He makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. There might be times when you're nervous, wondering what he's thinking about you or your body, though he never gave you even a reason to question him about that. Jungkook might be great at hiding a lot of things, but voicing how much he likes sex with you is not one of them. You both aren't hiding this obvious fact.

He stares at your hardened nipples, before he watches you take off your underwear and toss it on the floor. And then with the slightest smirk, he motions for you to get closer to him and finally sit on his face.

You're impossibly wet, but rather than feel embarrassed about it, you get this boost of confidence and dominance once you hover over Jungkook. He grabs you by the back of your thighs, moving your heat right in front of his face as he takes in the sight. Licking his lips, he briefly tells you to grab onto the headboard.

His hot breath fans you between your thighs and you shudder, your hands grabbing the wooden headboard before he pushes you down onto his face. You gasp, both from the shock and indescribable feeling of Jungkook's mouth on you. His nose pokes your clit, tongue gathering the wetness before his mouth starts to move.

You're trying to hold yourself up, somewhere in the back of your mind still thinking about not wanting to physically hurt him but as soon as you move even an inch from his face, he growls and pushes you down.

"Holy shit."

Jungkook's mouth is preoccupied, therefore there is no time for any verbal reactions but even then, he hums pleasantly against you and you swear you hear him moaning in the middle of it.

Back arching and body moving on its own, you start grinding against his face while your knuckles turn white from how hard you're gripping the black wood. Apart from this being a completely new sensation and experience for you, you would give Jungkook the highest rate there could be. Losing a track of time and focusing on the pleasure, you inform him of being close to reaching an awesome orgasm that could easily tire you out.

Your body tenses, barely comprehending what's happening around you or even outside of this apartment, you're waiting for the sudden snap of the knot that's sitting in the pit of your stomach.

But as easily the hunt for orgasm has come, it leaves even quicker once Jungkook stops moving his mouth and pushes you up. Your face is curled in mortification, worried you might've suffocated him and the fit of scolding is on tip of your tongue once you quickly check on him.

However – despite his heavy breathing – you're met with his glistening face and mouth curved in satisfaction. "You're not cumming that easily, baby."

You get off him, staring wide-eyed with an open mouth, you stutter over your words. Is he seriously in the mood to deny your orgasm? You wanted to play but this is now what you had in mind. But before any complaints could make it into the thick air, Jungkook sits up and wipes his face with your shirt that's been laying on the edge of his bed. He tosses it on the ground, focusing on you once again as he grabs you by the back of your neck and kisses you harshly.

Annoyance comes and goes as soon as you feel his soft pillows, tasting yourself on his tongue. He hums into the kiss, detaching your lips despite your whines.

Leaning his forehead against yours, you're too close to kiss him again. As if he could read your mind, he chuckles raspily as he gently shakes his head.

"Jeon, just fuck me." you whine, pouting at him which makes him laugh again.

"I will," he promises, gently giving a rub to your chin with his thumb. "Do we need a condom?"

He asked what?

Surprised, you pull away slightly to stare at his face to make sure you heard him right, but the same question lingers in his dark awaiting eyes.

"You heard me right," he assures you, chuckling again as he can't help but find you both funny and cute. "Do we need a condom?"

You don't realize what weight his question holds, though it's pretty simple. He's asking you if you want to act upon your desire now. The one that's been on your mind for what seems like forever. Maybe now it's not the right time to be thinking how much you appreciate him asking you beforehand, even though it's a bare minimum you would discuss anyway. But still, he's waiting for your answer and the call is completely up to you. You're the one holding power.

Knowing you could easily say no for whatever reason, Jungkook has definitely a pack of condoms hidden somewhere. He's letting you know he's fine with either.

"Are you sure?" you ask silently, trying to shake yourself out of the shock as he gives you a gentle smile that almost melts your heart.

"I am," he confirms, "Are you?"

This being the last night you actually live together, it does seem like a nice way to say goodbye to you being roomies, a way to celebrate it perhaps. Or it's just your stupid thoughts but whatever it is, you've known your answer right after he asked it. All the possible arguments with yourself or annoying overthinking is pushed aside.

"We don't need it." you confirm this time, ignoring how excited you're getting by the thought.

"Then lay back for me."

You do, staring at the ceiling for a second before you watch him make his way out of the room. Confused and baffled, you mentally sigh in relief once he comes back not even a minute after, showing you the sex toy in his hand.

"Why?" you ask simply, giggling when he tosses it next to you and hover over you with a toothy grin.

"You'll see."

Opening your mouth to complain, he shuts you up with his own mouth as he gives you a few very needed kisses as he pulls away. You rank your hands down his chest and to the hem of his boxers, pouting a little.

"I wanted to have my own fun with you." you shamelessly admit, making him laugh.

"Some next time, yeah?"

"But why?" you whine, rubbing him through his underwear just to find him fully hard.

"Oh, you're impatient, aren't you?" you tease and he rolls his eyes, poking you in your rib as you giggle.

"That might be the reason. But I also need you to be fully present. You can choke on my cock some other time."

You choke on your spit, slapping his bicep as he hides his face in the crook of your neck to hide his smile. He gently bites you there, a low hum making it out of your mouth. Despite his words, you still sneak your hand under his boxers and give him a few pumps. He lets out a breathy chuckle, looking down at you through lust filled eyes.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he chuckles.

"Nope."

The smile on your face doesn't last long, how can it when in one swift motion, Jungkook turns you over and harshly puts your ass up, hands gripping the soft flesh. His breath fans over the side of your face before his lips brush against your ear. "Is this how you want it?"

Honestly, you don't care in what position he puts you in. As long as he finally fucks you.

"Yeah. Just please, do something." you whine a little, perching your ass up much to his amusement.

He palms your ass. "Last chance, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you, causing you to lift your face up as you glance at him.

Blowing out a slow breath, you crack a tiny grin. "You want me to change my mind?" you tease, but raise your brow while you wait for his answer.

"Just reminding you because there's no going back."

The only reason he's reminding you of this is because of you. At the beginning, you had a hard time admitting out loud you want him like this. Most people probably don't take this seriously just as much as you do. You've been unsure from the start, though the excitement and curiosity has been piqued. You're responsible, always took precautionary measures – both of you did – because you're not in a position to risk anything. Jungkook and you don't sleep with other people, that's the whole point of you hooking up together in the first place. But you both still made sure you were safe.

But now you're about to take that part of safety away. It makes you a little paranoid, considering Jungkook's previous situation but it's not fair to compare it to that. That's what has been stopping you from fully saying fuck it and just do it. But you want to do exactly that.

Why is this even a big deal?

People have unprotected sex all the time. You and Jungkook know each other, and trust each other. He's not a stranger. You'll do this one time and you're done. You'll quench your curiosity, excitement and thirst – everything will go back to normal.

You're done overthinking this. This is what you want. What you both want.

And Jungkook is still here, making sure he won't possibly ruin things. He wants to check in with you, even now when you're seconds from pinning him to the mattress and doing things your own way.

"I know," you whisper. "I don't want to go back. I won't."

He studies your face for a second longer, leaning toward you as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. You shiver, arching your ass as it brushes over his length making him chuckle at your anticipation.

"Alright, let's do this. Let me ruin you."

"I'm all yours." you comment amusingly, facing forward as Jungkook lets out a soft laugh.

Fuck, this is really happening. Your heart is racing when you hear Jungkook taking off his boxers, going back to his previous position that is behind you. The mattress dips under his weight and knees, hands gripping your ass as he spreads your cheek apart. Cool air hits you between your thighs, your core aching for him and only him. Fuck, you've never wanted him inside you this much.

"You're dripping baby." he says as the tip of his fingers touches your wetness, rubbing you up and down which makes you let out a shameless whimper.

"Don't comment on that, it's embarrassing." you manage to choke out, cheek pressed back against the sheets while your breathing quickens up.

Jungkook breathes out another chuckle, "I find it hot."

He retrieves his fingers, something you only feel and ready to whine again, you're interrupted when you hear a humming sound coming from his lips as he licks his fingers off. Holy shit. There's no time to look back, to see the devouring sight that's stolen from you because of your position. All is forgotten when the long awaiting friction suddenly comes, the head of his cock poking your clit as he smears your wetness there. You're a fucking mess.

Embarrassed to admit this, you're already close to cumming and he has barely done anything. You're not kidding, you're going crazy because of this.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place and get a good grip on you, his other hand is wrapped around his cock as he aligns it with your hole. Holding your breath, your whole body tingles with anticipation and excitement. And then finally. The head of his cock presses against your opening, sinking inside you as your wet and warm walls stretch around him. Since you haven't been stretched before this, the pressure brings the greatest pain and pleasure at the same time and holy fuck, it feels like you're in an entire different universe. You feel every inch of him, everything you haven't felt before because of the stupid barrier in form of condoms. And even knowing that he's still pushing himself inside you, you know it's going to be freaking hard to go back to condoms.

Whole body shuddering, you let out a low, almost inaudible moan into the sheets, gripping them in your fists as Jungkook finally fills you to the brim. Oh my god.

"Mhm, fuck." he mutters behind you, his cock twitching inside you.

The completely new feeling comes rushing down on you as your whole body crumbles down, walls clenching around his thick and hard length as you shamelessly grind and let go. This has never happened to you before, the realization not hitting you until you calm down from your high.

"Holy fuck. Did you just cum?" Jungkook asks in awe, hands gripping your ass even tighter.

Fuck, you really did.

It's more than clear to him. He could never mistake your orgasm for something else. But rather than tease you about it, he finds it hot and has a hard time controlling himself.

His cock is nestled deep inside you, still stretching your walls and despite your previous orgasm, your thirst is not fully quenched.

"Fuck." you moan into the sheets.

"You're so fucking hot. I might bust my nut." The idea of him doing it, filling you up feels so forbidden and dirty. The feeling that it brings is unexplainable.

He feels you clenching around him, arousal coating his entire cock and it makes him wonder. "Fuck, does that idea excite you?"

You're even dirtier than he thought. You never fail to amaze him.

He knows he can't expect any sort of response from you, your body calling to him and he decides to listen to it, delivering you the pleasure he promised he would. So with one swift movement, he pulls out enough for the head of his cock to stay inside you as he thrusts back inside. You can't speak, no words escaping you to tell him how fucking good that feels but he knows it. He sees how your body reacts, he feels it.

He groans, tilting his head back as he starts snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just like he promised. His lower abdomen hits your ass cheeks as the sounds of your skin meeting fill up the air. It's nothing you've ever imagined or dreamed of. This is way better. Breaths coming out as moans, you swallow hard when you catch yourself almost salivating at the sensation and friction.

There are no words exchanged, both of you barely able to speak as keeps his pace and hits all the right spots. You feel him almost in your stomach, the dominance of his thrusts bringing you pain and pleasure.

You're close to losing it. You nearly do but then Jungkook halts all his thrusts, pulling out before he puts you onto your back.

He has never seen you so fucked out already. But your eyes are on him, surprised at the sudden change but the lust filled in them is unmistakable. He's glad he left the lights turned on, or else he wouldn't be able to admire what a pretty sight you are.

The same thing goes for you. Jungkook is driven by the lust, his entire face glowing as he traces his tattooed hand over your chest. Taking you by your thighs, he pulls you closer to him – fast and harshly – spreading your legs as he aligns with your opening again.

You both stare at each other, Jungkook dropping his eyes between your bodies for a second before he pushes in. His eyes stay on you, your own fighting to close as the same and most addicting pleasure rushes through your entire body. But you force and keep them open, both of you moaning as he fills you up. The angle is different this time, his cock pressing onto the opposite side of you and you swear if you pressed on your stomach, you would be able to feel him.

However, you don't dare to move. You're too scared to cum again and you're not sure for how long you can go before your body shuts down.

He grips you by the back of your thighs, keeping his hands there as he starts fucking you again. He watches you with dark and lust filled eyes, biting onto his lower lip harshly when you grip the sheets beside you, turning your knuckles white. With each thrust he makes, your breasts bounce, his eyes shifting between them and your own eyes before he averts his gaze to your bodies meeting.

He's watching the way he disappears inside you, his entire cock glistening with your wetness as it drips down your ass and his balls while your clit is swollen and nipples perked up. Holy fuck.

"You like it?" he asks, finding his voice that comes out way raspier than you both expect. "You like feeling my cock like this, huh?"

"Mhm, yes, fuck." you moan, shutting your eyes in pleasure as your mouth stays open.

You're left gasping, no other words leaving your mouth when he pulls out, just to press your thighs together and angling your legs to the left, as they stay pressed against the mattress before he enters you. The change of the new position makes you see stars, your teeth biting into your lower lip harshly as he's rougher this time. He's hovering over you, hands beside your body as your body shakes with pleasure.

It's safe to say you're in a complete another world right now. The amount of pleasure you're experiencing right now – you've never had that before and it feels so fucking good that it has your eyes water. You can't even make out what you're saying, every word coming out as a moan or gasp instead. But you're not loud. You're not screaming your lungs out, informing all the neighbors about your doings even though Jungkook could care less about that.

Instead, the sounds you make are soft and almost innocent like, it makes Jungkook go feral because you're anything but innocent in this moment. You're so fucked out, completely swallowed by the lust and approaching orgasm. You feel like a fucking trophy. Any guy having a woman in their bed acting like this would feel like the king of the world.

He grips the side of your face, your eyes slowly opening as you share a look. You get even tighter, Jungkook's hips halting for a second before he continues the same pace. Hand lowering to your neck, you grip his wrist and prompt him to wrap his hand around it. That's exactly what he did. You can't remember when was the last time he had his hand around your neck, the memories of it are almost faded as he gently applies pressure.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He's careful, you know he is and he never squeezes your neck to the point you would have trouble breathing. Yet his hand feels heavy and it has your eyes rolling back. I'm close, you want to say but fail miserably.

Despite Jungkook's roughness, he's still delicate in other matters because he knows. He's watching you the entire time, listening to your body and your orgasm approaching doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Cum around my cock, baby." And that's all you need for you to let go, not even five seconds after he says it that your whole body tenses before the knot snaps inside you.

He hisses, feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably as he keeps his pace until he's forced to slow down and eventually stops once he sees you overstimulated. Pulling out, his cock slaps against his stomach, red and angry.

You open your eyes, finding Jungkook watching you as you give him a lazy smile. "I'm in heaven."

A rumble of laughter leaves his mouth, leaving you giggling as well as he brushes a few strands of your hair off your face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking great," you hum, catching the cocky and pleased smirk he gives you. "Give me a minute."

He leans on his knees, trying to ignore his cock screaming for attention as your eyes shamelessly stare at it. "You sure?"

"You wanted to ruin me, no?" you joke, Jungkook's lips twitching as he cocks his head to the side.

"Aren't you ruined?"

To be honest, what state you're in is not what he had in mind. There is still more he's got prepared for you, but he wouldn't want to push you past your boundaries. You already look like you're fucked out, but considering you're cracking a grin and talking to him seems like you're doing fine, still high from the mindblowing orgasm.

"'m fine. You can ruin me some more." you grin again lazily, making your legs more comfortable as you stretch them right in front of him. In your defense, it's not about flashing him but not wanting to have a cramp from the position he had you in.

But you still enjoy the way his eyes avert down between your swollen cunt, a cum mixed with your arousal dripping out of your hole. He makes you feel sexy. Especially when he looks up, meeting your gaze as you give him a sheepish smile, not embarrassed by what he sees. Because it's all thanks to him.

"Come here." you tell him, motioning with your finger to come closer as he arches a brow.

He hovers over you, silently watching as you wrap your hand around his neck while the other brushes over his chest. And then you say with the silent and most delicate voice; "Kiss me."

"You want to kiss?" he amusingly asks, pecking your lips even though a peck wasn't what you had in mind and he knows it. Teasing sh–

But he kisses you again, this time his tongue brushing against yours as he fully devours your mouth. "Have to get into the mood." you inform him between the kisses, using the moment for you to catch a breath.

"Mhm, you're no longer in the mood?" he hums against your lips as you giggle.

His hard cock brushes against your entrance and you have to control yourself from whimpering. You're all hot again, definitely not done for tonight but you're still very sensitive.

Jungkook's breath fans over your jaw, teeth nibbling onto your jaw as he says in a low tone. "We can arrange that."

Just when you think he's about to kiss you, he shoots you a smirk as he inches down, eyes still locked with yours. It's until he focuses on the swollen mess between your thighs and gives a gentle kiss to your clit. You gasp, flinching from the sensation as he looks up from between your legs to check your reaction.

"Think you can take it?"

Can you?

You're not sure what possesses you, you know you're still sensitive down there and need a little bit of time to recover but you nod, spreading your legs even more, inviting him to continue. And god, he does. He has no mercy on you, attaching his mouth onto your cunt as he starts eating you out.

He grabs you by your thighs, mumbling a deep; "Stop running."

Not even a minute later, the complete lust comes back and there's no trace of overstimulation as you grind against his mouth that's been doing wonders. Your hands are uncontrollable, gripping and tugging onto Jungkook's hair as he growls into your center, listening to your pleas.

"I can't. I can't. I need you inside me." you plead between your moans, two orgasms already overcame which can't be said about Jungkook, who has put your pleasure first.

That's not fair, you think. Besides, you want him inside you again.

Jungkook pulls out with his chin completely drenched in your wetness, the sight making you gulp. He wipes it with the back of his hand, smearing some of it onto the sheets as he straightens up, pumping his cock slowly with his eyes set on you.

You rest onto your elbows, lifting yourself while you watch him jerking himself off. You just can't seem to pull your eyes away.

"Are you gonna spread yourself out for me or you just want to watch?" he smirks.

Ignoring his cocky attitude, you can't even react as you gulp down the saliva that gathered in your mouth. You sit up, shifting your eyes to his gaze as you turn around and get back on all fours.

"Fuck," You hear behind you. "You're the death of me."

Proudly smirking, you throw him a pleased and cocky look across your shoulder. "You love staring at my backside that much?" you tease.

Both of you know it's you who loves this position. Both of you do actually, but this time it's you who does it automatically.

One of the rare times you get to tease him and actually feel like you're doing a good job, is when Jungkook shamelessly shows his admiration or whatever it is. He's not ashamed to compliment you or show how much he loves fucking you. But it's this never ending game between you two, one you always lose because Jungkook is one step ahead of you. Whenever you feel like you've won, he does a checkmate.

Just like now.

He slaps your asscheek, chest brushing against your back as he hovers over your ear and says with the lustful voice full of desire. "Shame I can't see your pretty face though."

Your body grows hot at that, cheeks flaming hot at the blunt compliment that makes you clench around nothing. This is the time where you've no idea whether he says this kind of stuff to make you all hot, to fluster you or because he really means it. Whatever he's doing, it's working and you're practically willing to do anything for him at this moment.

You haven't had many sex partners in your life to begin with, but none of them had such a dirty mouth and power to say such things to you. Damn, some time ago you never even knew this was your kind of thing. Jungkook has taught you so much, but most importantly you learned much about yourself thanks to him. Maybe he's not even realizing it but you are.

There's no beating around the bush, no more talking as Jungkook guides his hard cock to your opening and slowly enters you again. He lets out a pleased sigh, followed by a silent moan from you as your walls welcome him again. The sensation feels like the first time all over again. Someone would think you got used to it, this being the second time Jungkook enters you with no protection and barrier between you, but no. You can't get used to it, meaning it feels just as amazing when he entered you like this the first time.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place, he gives your asscheek a rough squeeze as he moves his other hand up and grabs you by the back of your neck. He gives you no warning this time, though maintains his gentle manner when he starts thrusting into you. You writhe beneath him in pleasure, moaning his name and pleas as he picks up the pace and makes your body grow even hotter.

Beads of sweat coats your skin, your mouth open in an absolute pleasure and desire. He keeps holding you down, getting needier and rougher with his thrusts while you can't even think straight. When you thought your eyes were watering before, it's even more intense now as your tears start pricking your eyes. He lets go off your neck, delivering your ass a proper slap and you lift yourself up, gripping the sheets beneath you as tears stream down your cheeks.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." you cry out. You've never heard yourself to be this desperate before. Let alone for a man. Sex does wonders. Jungkook does wonders.

"Fuck, look at me." he says, ushering to meet his gaze as you barely angle your face to look at him.

He leans what seems like toward you but you're mistaken when shortly after, you hear a familiar buzzing and before your fucked out mind can comprehend what he's doing, he's pressing the sex toy against your clit. A new wave and uncontrollable pleasure washes over you, leaving you sobbing loudly while Jungkook curses behind you. His eyes are shut, head leaned back as you get a clear sight of a line of sweat trailing down his neck and chest. He opens those dark lust filled eyes, your eyes meeting again and that's the final end for you.

He has officially ruined you.

You've never cum harder, your body on fire and trembling as your walls squeeze him repeatedly as you squirt all over yourself. Jungkook audibly curses again, growling when your orgasm dies down and you have barely any strength to hold yourself up. It all happens quickly as he pulls out of you, gets you on your back as you stare at him through teary and exhausted eyes. He jerks off quickly, throwing his head back and cums with the deepest moan, spilling all over your stomach and chest.

Both of you sweaty and chests heaving rapidly, Jungkook hangs his head low as he looks at you through his fringe falling onto his eyes, some of the strands sticking to his forehead and face.

It's hard to describe exactly what you're feeling. Your heartbeat is in your ears, your chest hurts from how you're trying to catch a breath and amongst this all, you feel like you're ten seconds from passing out.

Even through his harsh breathing and his own need to calm down, he gets closer to you and cups your face. "Are you with me, baby?"

Baby? What's he thinking? He has already ruined you, there's no need for more.

You give him a brief nod, your eyes closing.

"Shit."

Why does he sound so alarmed?

"Look at me baby."

You do. You're aware of what he's saying, you're not literally passing out but your body needs a minute or two to recover. You just can't seem to properly react.

You're met with concerned eyes as Jungkook squeezes your cheeks to get a proper look at you. You lick your lips, letting out a tired and amused chuckle. "Thought you killed me? You're not gonna get rid of me so easily." you say completely exhausted, sounding like you could be high or wasted.

He only stares, a beat of silence before his whole face and body relaxes as he lets out a sigh and chuckle of relief. Still, he lets his eyes linger all over your face as he watches you. You crack a smile, wiping your forehead with the back of your head as he brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead.

"You squirted all over me." he teases lightly.

"You came all over my stomach. We're even." you joke, getting a warmed sound laugh from him.

"You cried." he comments, wiping your cheeks. "It was hot."

"You ruined me." you comment back with a tired chuckle.

"You wanted to get ruined."

"Hm, I did." you hum.

He cracks a smile. "I'll bring you water, alright? I'll be right back and wipe the mess off you."

"Mhm." You close your eyes again, feeling like you can breathe again as Jungkook rushes out of the room to get you the water.

He comes back not even a minute after with a glass and a towel, ushering to sit down and drink the whole glass. You do as he watches you every second, barely blinking. Rolling your eyes, he does the same before he starts wiping his cum from your stomach and chest. He moves to between your thighs shortly after, cursing under his breath when he sees how swollen you are. You start wincing as soon as he starts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologizes quickly, wincing as if it hurt him too when the overstimulation is too uncomfortable.

He goes away to toss the towel to the laundry basket and comes back shortly after wearing shorts, finding you sitting on the edge of his bed. It makes him laugh at how innocent you look, despite you're still completely naked.

"I'm going to shower." you announce before he gives you a dubious look.

"Will you manage by yourself?"

"Yeah." you tell him, standing up too abruptly which makes you stumble.

He quickly moves to catch you, biting back a laugh when you're about to take a step and wince. You shoot him a glare, silently telling him it's his fault. The soreness you currently feel between your legs is making it hard to walk. You're so sore already, wondering how the hell you're going to walk and function properly tomorrow.

Jungkook lets you go, leaving you to wash yourself as you embarrassingly limp to the bathroom. When you're in the shower, palms against the warm and wet tiles, you replay everything that has happened. You can't believe you and Jungkook did this. You bite your lips to prevent yourself from squealing, washing away all the sweat and body fluids off your body.

In the midst of it, Jungkook knocks on the door and brings you clothes, leaving after he checks on you.

After Jungkook's turn to wash himself, he joins you in the bed where you're dozing off. "So, what are you sayin'? Did you like it?"

"Honestly?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as Jungkook hums. You chuckle at yourself as you admit; "It's gonna be hard to use condoms again."

Why the hell did you just say that? You mentally scold yourself. Now you sound like you don't want protected sex. Perhaps you're overreacting because Jungkook never sounds like you assume things will be different. You both know it's responsible for you to use them again. It was never spoken but it's clear this was one time thing.

"And how are you feeling?"

"So fucking sore," you complain, whining. "I won't be able to move in tomorrow! This has been your plan all along, right? Admit it." you joke, making him laugh.

"You got me."

You both laugh, tiredly and lazily until your laugh dies down. "Kook?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think, um... how to say it?"

"Just say it."

Argh! This thought crossed your mind while you were showering. You feel content. You're not exactly paranoid and surprisingly, you're not freaking out over having sex without a condom. You're happy and you wouldn't change your decision. You regret nothing.

Fumbling with your fingers on top of the freshly changed sheets, you bite the inside of your cheek.

"Do you think maybe I should buy a morning after pill? Just in case..."

Jungkook stays silent but gives his answer seconds after. "If it makes you feel better," he says lightly.

You're on birth control, you haven't missed your pills and you have no knowledge if you can still take a morning after pill. Groaning, you reach for your phone and start doing your research in the middle of the night.

"Okay. It says here there's no need since I'm on the pill." you inform, not even sure if Jungkook is awake before he hums tiredly in return. You roll your eyes at him. "Yah!" you whisper harshly.

"Relax. I didn't even cum inside you."

"Okay but there's always a chance!" you exclaim as Jungkook sighs.

"That would have to be a fucking luck, that's all I'm saying." he mutters into his pillow, turning with his back to you. Men.

He had luck in that department, you think. He was surely having sex with her more often, unprotected for sure and you're also sure he finished inside her most of the time. Argh, why the fuck are you thinking about this and their sex life?

Groaning at yourself, you lock your phone and place it back onto the nightstand. It's better to finally surrender to exhaustion, hoping you'll at least get a good sleep despite the throb and soreness between your legs. Everything's going to be just fine.

"Oh shit! This place is actually nice!"

Looking at Taehyung in a silent offense, you snort at his huge grin as he looks around your new place. Boxes are everywhere and most of your things don't have their own place, but it looks pretty good either way – especially if Taehyung says it with an impressed look while Jimin joins him.

"I know, right? Come on guys, I will show you around."

"Where's Jungkook?" Jimin asks as Taehyung snaps his head in his direction.

"In the bedroom, assembling my bed again." you laugh, feeling actually bad for him to do that again since it's not that long when he did it at his own place.

Taehyung laughs, though it sounds forced which makes you narrow your eyes at him as you silently question him. "Why are you so awkward?"

"Come on, let's go." Jimin says, placing his hand on your back as he leads you further down the apartment.

You glance confusingly at them before shaking your head. What's wrong with them? They meet Jungkook after you give them a quick tour and shortly after, they help you unpack some of your stuff. Taehyung and Jimin stay in the living room while you keep hopping between them and Jungkook who is soon done with your bed. You order three pizzas for all of you, a nice gesture as a 'thank you' that they decided to help you because you couldn't do it without them. They're a huge help.

Although, Jimin is surprisingly quiet and when you went to check on them earlier, you found him and Taehyung bickering. If that's what it was but they quickly went silent once they spotted you.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed it but he hasn't said anything so far, quietly munching on the pizza with pouty lips and big eyes. You steal glances at Jimin who barely says anything and Taehyung is surprisingly quiet too, even though he tries to break the silence with awkward small talk or jokes which aren't like him.

"What's with you?" you ask, interrupting Taehyung in the midst of his 'casual joking' as he shuts his mouth and puts it into a straight line before he sighs.

The empty boxes of pizzas are gone, ready to be thrown out once there will be more boxes to take outside. You bought beer for all of you as well, wanting to have a mini-party with them at your new place.

Jimin's eyes don't look too different and his face doesn't say much which makes you question his unusual behavior. You're clearly missing out something and even Jungkook studies Jimin with scrunched brows.

"You're being suspiciously quiet today." you voice out your thoughts, seeing Jimin giving you a look – one that confirms your assumptions.

"You guys are quiet today too." he points out and you make a weird face because he doesn't make any sense.

"We've been literally talking almost every minute." you chuckle, giving him a weird look.

"Yet you never mentioned you guys are hooking up again." he bluntly calls you and Jungkook out, noticing the edge in his voice as you feel your stomach drop. For a second, you're assured you've heard him wrong and you must be hallucinating.

You awkwardly choke on your spit, glancing at Jungkook who's simply staring at Jimin but you see surprise in his eyes too, though his reaction is more subtle and controlled which can't be said about you. Jimin leans against the couch, lifting a brow at the both of you as you look at Taehyung whose face is burning with guilt. And you don't need any more answers because you give Taehyung an unimpressed look.

"It happened! I'm sorry guys!" he quickly exclaims, shooting his arms all over the place. "I got drunk and somehow–"

"Somehow you managed to tell him about this." you deadpan and Jimin sighs next to Taehyung.

"Don't get angry at him," Jimin says calmly, "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

You press your lips together, feeling bad for not telling him sooner but in fact, there weren't many opportunities. You didn't want to tell him such a private matter like "Oh, and by the way me and Jungkook are hooking up" – not that he has to know in the first place. But being friends with them for years now, you learned that you guys tell each other many things.

"We wanted to." Jungkook butts in, saving you from having to explain yourself through guilt. He sounds casual – not making it a big deal and you appreciate that. Jungkook has always been better at these things. You let your emotions get the best of you.

"And to be fair, Taehyung only knows by an accident." he adds, pointing out some important facts as Taehyung snorts.

"Yeah, found them in the kitchen with Jungkook's hands all over Y/N's ass." he snorts again and you shoot him a glare while Jimin scrunches his nose.

"I waited the whole day for you guys to tell me," Jimin says, "It's not like I'm mad at you for not telling me. But do you guys think it's a good idea?"

"Huh?" you blurt out as Jimin scowls.

"You are seriously hooking up?"

"Isn't that what we are talking about?" Jungkook mutters while Jimin shoots him a glare.

"You guys are gonna ruin your friendship." Jimin informs. Your mouth hangs open while Jungkook scoffs at Jimin's sharp words while Taehyung gives Jimin an offended look as if those words were aimed at him.

"Jimin–"

"No, they need to hear this. You've been best friends for years, the thing you did before was fucking stupid but this? You're choosing to just sleep with each other? You're seriously willing to risk your friendship for sex?"

Jimin words are sharp but they hold a truth to them as well. It's everything you're afraid of too but you convinced yourself this is just a period of time where you have fun. You and Jungkook made sure it's pretty chill and casual. And just like with your friendship, not many people fully understand you.

Jimin isn't particularly rude or sounds angry, he's just blunt and serious which is enough of a shock to you. He's always been soft spoken, even if honest, and you know he means well. Despite his words, his eyes remain somehow gentle even if there's a pinch of seriousness.

And you're left with no words leaving your mouth, taken aback, wishing that you could react somehow. But right now, it feels like a slap to your face from Jimin.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Jimin-ah." Jungkook says, stealing a glance at your distraught face.

"Of course it's not. But you two are being reckless, so I'm just reminding you."

"So they fuck, and what?" Taehyung deadpans, "Let them have their fun."

"Taehyung-ah, excuse me but the only thing you know about relationships is fun. That is if that even can be considered as something related to a relationship."

"Yah, fuck you!" Taehyung exclaims and you would snicker at that under different circumstances for sure. "You suddenly got a girlfriend and you think you're a master of relationships? Just let them be. It's their decision and stop scaring them."

"I'm not scaring them," Jimin shakes his head with a chuckle before he looks up at you, his features softening as his eyes keep jumping between you and Jungkook. "Guys, I just think you need to hear this. And to be honest, I'm shocked to know you've been doing this for god knows how long. I thought you're smarter than that but you're fucking risking and that's the end of it."

"We have it under control." Jungkook informs him.

"Yeah, don't let those words bite you in the ass later." Jimin reminds him with a whistle which makes Jungkook frown and you stare at the two of them.

"Can we stop?" you speak up, slapping your knees in the process as you gain their attention.

"Y/N," Jimin says softly, inching closer to you as you stare at him with big and sad eyes. "You guys are totally entitled to do whatever you want. I just don't want you guys to ruin your friendship with this. I've thought your friendship is precious and special, not this special."

Your cheeks heat up. "And it is special." you whisper.

It's clear that Jimin doesn't approve any of this and you're aware that he is right. There are many risks you took – both of you – but in the end, you want to do this and you don't want to overthink it.

"You and Jungkook know the best, so I'm not gonna butt into this any more than I already have. I just want you guys to be reasonable and smart."

"Well, thank you for your input but we got it." Jungkook clasps his hands together and you crack a grin as the atmosphere loosens up a little.

"Yeah, they got it. Let them fuck." Taehyung shrugs and all of you burst into laughter.

"Can we not talk about this? Or make a big deal out of it? Me and Jungkook are fine, still best friends, right?" you say, looking at Jungkook who leans back and nods in your direction.

"Yeah, besties for life." He sends everyone a 'peace' sign as Jimin laughs while shaking his head.

"Right," Jimin nods, "Just don't hurt each other, okay?"

"I would never." Jungkook says immediately and you can only agree.

Jimin opens his mouth as if he's about to say something but then he closes it, changing his mind at the last minute. "Alright, you guys know what you're doing." he ends the topic with a simple sentence and all of you leave it at that.

"Okay, those two fuck each other, shocking. But we still haven't met your girlfriend. What is even her name? Does she exist?" Taehyung cocks his brow at Jimin who suddenly turns a little shy, grinning as he licks his bottom lip.

"She exists," he laughs, "Her name is Rin." he answers casually.

"Wait? Where is she from?"

"Japan."

"Oh my fucking god!" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Let's pray she is nothing like Kiko then."

Your hand is over your mouth immediately while Jungkook frowns at him and Jimin looks offended.

"How did you meet her anyway?" But Taehyung remains unbothered as always, waving his hand as Jimin clears his throat.

"In a club?" Jimin asks as if it's not obvious. "We weren't spending our free time on other places too much." He reminds him as Taehyung utters 'True'.

"Wait," Taehyung suddenly stops. "Is she the girl you fucked a few months ago? The cute Japanese?"

Jimin's face reddens and all of you get an answer as Jungkook smirks, trying to hide it by tracing his fingers over his lips.

"Taehyung-ah."

"Look at you, getting all shy. I think I'm gonna be sick."

All of you burst into laughter, well excluding Jimin who pokes his elbow into Taehyung's side.

"Well, I think it's cute." you butt in, trying to save Jimin in this situation but all you get is a snicker from Taehyung in return.

"What's cute about it? He fucked the girl once and now he's dating her."

"Hey! You find love in all places."

"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off. "I heard Japanese females are loud and whiny in bed. Is that true?" he asks straight-forwardly and shamelessly stares at Jimin and Jungkook.

"Haven't you fucked a Japanese woman?" Jungkook asks instead, arching his brow as Taehyung rubs his chin in a deep thought.

"Yeah, I might've. The one or two I fucked were, so that's why I'm asking. Are all of them like that?"

The man has no shame.

"Taehyung." you mutter his name, scrunching your nose at the topic as he defensively looks at you.

"What? Are you whiny and loud too?"

You gasp, slapping his shoulder before Jungkook speaks up; "She can be."

It's the fact he says it with the utmost confidence and pride, your entire face feeling like it's on fire as you scold him loudly.

"Ew, I really don't want to hear about my two friends fucking. Thanks." Jimin mutters in disgust as Taehyung grins.

"You all are getting too soft." Taehyung comments, still with a grin as you roll your eyes.

"And you're getting too annoying, nosy–"

"Alright I get it, I get it." Taehyung shuts you up with his palm over your mouth. You lick his skin, expecting him to pull away but it's like he awaited you to do it because he doesn't pull away.

He grins instead and says; "Mhmm, more." He fakes a moan before he starts laughing like a maniac when you start slapping his arm, his hand eventually letting go off your mouth.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Taehyung suddenly jumps to his feet, giving you a curled smirk before he walks to his bag. "I brought you, uh, think of this as a housewarming gift."

"I didn't know we were bringing anything." Jimin mutters, pouting a little as he sheepishly scratches the back of his head while Jungkook frowns as well.

"You guys don't have to–what the fuck?!" you exclaim, your mouth hanging open as Taehyung turns around with a pair of pink and fluffy handcuffs, twirling them on his index finger.

It's an understatement that all of you stare at him as he comes up to you with a smirk and tosses the handcuffs into your lap as you stare at the object as if you have never seen it before. You never held one in your hands, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, they're new. Not used." Taehyung assures you, plopping on his previous spot as you glance at Jungkook who stares with big eyes at the handcuffs, just as surprised as all of you, before he relaxes and leans back into the chair.

"Wow, thank you for your thoughtfulness." you mutter dryly as Taehyung snorts.

You tuck your index over the opening, letting the handcuffs hang in the air as you inspect it. Tilting your brow at Taehyung, you give him a questioning look as he grins and shrugs.

"Just wanted to give you something fun."

"Yeah, and what's more fun than a pair of handcuffs?" you beam sarcastically as Taehyung grins even more.

"Right? A proper Taehyung gift!"

"I've got no words." Jimin mutters while you place the handcuffs next to you as Jungkook suddenly reaches for them.

Staring with an open mouth, you watch him twirl it in his hands as he shoots you a grin. "Thanks Taehyung, they'll come handy."

You ignore how much your body buzzes with a newfound excitement, rather focusing on the noise Jimin makes. A noise of disgust and annoyance as his whole face scrunches in one.

Deciding it's better to redirect the attention to somewhere else, you stand up and usher them to help you with the remaining boxes as they grunt but obey. That's why they're here after all. To help you.

Jimin and Taehyung start bickering, Jimin scolding him for even thinking of buying you such a thing and considering you know what he thinks of your arrangement with Jungkook, he surely voiced his opinion about it to Taehyung too.

Jungkook is the only one who's still sitting on his previous spot, now that the guys went to your bedroom it leaves you two alone. You catch the handcuffs from Jungkook's hands, trying not to melt at how lustful he looks with his legs spread and lap looking inviting.

"I will take this." you tell him, sounding tempted and teasing as Jungkook watches you with the biggest smirk on his lips.

"Be my guest."

You hear behind you as Jungkook follows you in your tracks and you give yourself a few deep breaths before you have to face your friends, and most importantly Jungkook, again.

Your friends leave late at night, apart from Jungkook who kindly decides to help you organize your small kitchen. Of course, Taehyung couldn't help but tease you on his way out, not forgetting to yell "Have fun" as Jimin cringed and tugged him out of your place. He didn't forget to imply Jungkook is staying at your place tonight either.

Despite your friend's teasing, he's still planning to go back home.

"You know, don't listen to Taehyung. You can still stay the night, it's late anyway." you speak not even a minute after they're gone, putting the cutlery to its designed storage box in your top cupboard.

It's not that big of a problem for him to get home. His car is parked in front of your building and the drive to his home is not even that long. On another note, you've been organizing and moving furniture all day until you decide to have a little hang-outs in between, which mostly consisted of you pouring the guys drinks and eating some snacks. It's a simple idea, one you're not against and from the looks of it, Jungkook is not either.

He still decided to stay a bit longer, helping you with your kitchen so you can start using it tomorrow morning with no problem. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

The teasing tone of his voice makes you crack a tired chuckle, giving him a short glance before you get back to your task.

"It's impossible to get rid of you, Jeon Jungkook." you joke, "I kinda like having you in my life though."

"Is that so?" he hums, cocking his brow teasingly.

"Mhm." you laugh, shutting the cupboard as you move onto the next one below where the rest of the kitchen tools will be.

He finishes placing plates in one of the cupboards, moving onto mugs and glasses where you assigned their place.

"Listen," he starts, clearing his throat. "About what Jimin said... are you okay?"

Besides moving into your new place being the top event of today, Jimin finding out and then giving you a lecture was big enough of an event itself. It's not something that is easily forgotten and even after that conversation was over, it still lingered at the back of your mind as you mildly felt embarrassed. You've never had that. You never felt embarrassed to do your own thing with Jungkook, no matter what anyone else would say.

Taehyung is the most supportive friend when it comes to this. Perhaps it has something to do with his own choice of lifestyle, but it doesn't matter. He still gets it. Sure, Jimin never intended to make you feel embarrassed and he's pretty much clueless about your inner feelings his words brought in you. His words still made more damage than you want to admit.

Glancing at Jungkook, you find his concerned eyes on you, the same ones you were staring at yesterday when you had a memorable moment together.

"It's just... he was a little harsh with his words and I wanted to check on you."

You know what he means. It's exactly what you were thinking about just a moment ago. Jimin is a reasonable friend. Incredibly caring too. Whereas Taehyung is up for any fun and loves freedom, supports freedom. Both of them are right in their own ways, you don't deny that.

"That was expected of him," you give him a forced chuckle, one that Jungkook easily detects and makes his brows furrow. But it's not something to worry about and you make sure to let him know. "I get what his point was."

"Yeah, I think we all gathered that." Jungkook mutters, making you snort.

"But what about you? Are you okay?"

"I can handle Jimin anytime." he answers, grinning while he makes you laugh.

Jungkook handles most things better than you. He's far more collected and doesn't let too much stuff get to him. Even though Jimin rooted some sort of doubts inside your head, you and Jungkook know the best how things truly are between you.

"Are you staying the night?" you ask, changing the topic after coming to the conclusion that you have no interest in overthinking this any longer.

Jungkook brings you peace and the trust between you is stronger than anything else.

"Do you want me to?" he teases.

Groaning, you throw your head back. "You really want me to say it, huh?"

"Hm, maybe."

Rolling your eyes at him, you purse your lips. "You're free to stay here. It's late anyway."

Jungkook lips twitch in amusement, though he doesn't comment on you purposely not saying it. "Fine. But I gotta wake up early."

"Early for what?"

"Gym."

"Oh my god. For real?" He really wants to wake up early for a gym?

He doesn't look offended by your lack of excitement for his healthy and active life-style at all. Rather than that, he finds it funny.

"Yeah. And then I've got one afternoon photoshoot to do."

"Okay, then we should go to bed. I can finish this tomorrow." you tell him, shutting the cupboards. He doesn't protest, both of you simultaneously letting out a yawn which makes you both laugh again.

It's been a long day and after taking a shower with Jungkook joining you in your bed shortly after, you fall asleep in a matter of seconds. You don't tell him but you're truly thankful for not only his help but his presence too. Whatever the reason behind him staying is, you're glad you're not your first night here alone and you have him by your side. Even when he's not there when you wake up, leaving you a note beside your bed.

"Gonna miss you roomie. Enjoy your new place and see you soon. – Kook"

The next time you see your friends is a few days after you've moved into your new place. The constant back and forth between trying to plan the camping trip in the group chat has caused you enough headaches throughout the week. It's not only up to you, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but also their other friends that are coming too. No one expected for this to be easy but finding the right date, so everyone could go, has been the toughest task of the week.

Luckily, in the end everyone agreed on a date which happens to be the next weekend. You've had enough time to make your place fully liveable, decorated it to your wishes while your bank account is close to being empty. That's if you don't count the small savings you managed to not touch for your friend's vacation that is yet to be discussed. You're already scared.

The four of you are about to discuss further details that don't involve the rest of the group as much. It would be logical of you to go all together in one car – and that's how you thought it would be.

"Namjoon and Hoseok are bringing tents. And there's gonna be two rented caravans for some to sleep in. So I agree with Y/N, we should all go in one car. It saves money." Jimin says after your logical suggestion, which you didn't even think is up to debate because it just makes sense.

"Makes sense. Honestly, I don't care as long as I don't have to drive." Taehyung says, already munching on the chips which Jungkook has tossed him a second ago, because the guy was too lazy to get it for himself at his own place.

You've decided to meet up at Taehyung's place since it was the closest. All of you have to go to work tomorrow, so there's no time to hang out like you usually do. You only met up to figure out the entire trip, so you don't panic right before you have to leave. Plus, Taehyung is terrible at replying to messages and so is Jimin sometimes.

"About that," Jungkook starts, scratching the back of his head as he earns everyone's attention. "I sort of invited Ester too."

He did what?

The silence that follows seems like it lasts cruelly long, but it's only you because even though the guys seem surprised by the news, they show no problem with that. Though that can't be said about you because you're staring dumbfoundedly at Jungkook, wondering if you heard him right.

"Great!"

"Why did you do that?"

You and Jimin say at the same time, Taehyung slowly putting more chips into his mouth as he stares at the three of you. Jungkook frowns confusingly, shrugging his shoulders as if not understanding why are you questioning him which makes your annoyance bubble even more.

"It sort of came out."

Sort of... You can't with this guy. The little scoff you let out is enough to give him away your thoughts.

"Isn't that so random though? It's a friend's trip. No one knows her besides you."

Not that you have anything against Ester. She's a nice girl and she never gave you a reason not to like her, but Jungkook's random invitation to a trip full of friends is just totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense. Even guys seemed surprised by it, but they decided not to comment on it.

"Then they'll get to know her."

It's Jungkook's bluntness and the look he's giving you that pisses you off and you have to hold yourself from springing off the couch.

"I don't see any problem–"

You don't let Jimin finish, completely ignoring him. "You've known her for five minutes."

That makes Jungkook's brow lift up. "And?"

"Why would you invite someone on this trip?" you exclaim, trying to grasp the meaning of this.

The last camping trip was your first one with all of them. And you've been friends with him, Jimin and Taehyung for years. Obviously, you were familiar with Hoseok and Jin but still, you knew each other before you were invited. The exact thing happened on New Year's Eve.

It might not be a big deal of him inviting her, but it doesn't make sense considering it's last minute and you're leaving in a few days. The amount of tents and caravans are already taken care of.

"I invited you."

That makes you gasp, "I'm your best friend!"

"Guys–" Jimin tries again but Jungkook shrugs again.

"She's my friend too."

Okay, that makes your blood boil. Is he really comparing you and Ester? You've no idea how this even escalated to this but you can't seem to calm down, even as Jimin tries to butt in while Taehyung tries to hide an amused grin.

"Where is she going to sleep anyway?" Taehyung speaks up, earning a "Thank you Taehyung" glance but of course the idiot has to ruin it. "I mean, she could share the tent with me." he adds cheekily which makes Jungkook scoff while you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"I will sort that out. I can always ask Namjoon if he has another tent, I'm sure he mentioned he has more than two or he can ask someone. You girls can share the tent."

You haven't really spoken about who shares a tent with who, but you kind of expected it to be like last time. Maya is also coming so she's going to share the tent with Namjoon, obviously. Then there's Jin who is going without Jia since she's pregnant and doesn't want to join this time, so he would share either the tent or caravan with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung shared the tent together and so did you and Jungkook.

Not to get things mixed up, you don't really care who you're sharing the sleeping space with. But the fact he's expecting you to share it with Ester because he decided to invite her all of a sudden just calls for a conflict. It's the audacity he's showing that makes you open your mouth in pure disbelief as you stare at Jungkook with a proper what the fuck written on yur face.

Also, not even Jimin decided to invite his girlfriend. His freaking girlfriend that would make a bigger sense to come since she's actually close to someone out of all people.

He sighs, "It came up. She wanted to make plans with me on that very weekend, we talked about it and it just came up."

"So you felt bad for her, so you invited her?" you question, arching your brow as Jungkook frowns.

"No," he says with the same frown, emphasizing the word. "Jimin wanted me to invite her somewhere a long time ago. Guys seem to be okay with it and the only person who seems to have a problem with it is you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh shit." Taehyung mutters, straightening himself.

This whole situation is giving you a major whiplash. You and Jungkook barely argue, that can be seen even on Jimin's and Taehyung's faces as they look genuinely shocked by the exchange between you and Jungkook. You were fine.

You were texting and even Face-Timing a few times since you haven't had the chance to see him in person since you moved in. You were literally joking just minutes ago. And you know you are the one who has voiced your confusion, but you're not going to keep your mouth shut when you're genuinely baffled over this news.

"I don't see any problem here, seriously."

It's the tone he uses that makes you too stunned to speak. He's looking at you as if you were the enemy here and that kind of stings. He's here talking to you like this, looking at you like this for a girl he barely knows and that's when you know what triggers your anger and annoyance even more. You can barely remember times where Jungkook would be strict with you. The past few months have been the greatest months in your friendship, and you're not talking about the sex. You joked, teased each other, laughed... but now it's like you don't recognize you and him.

It's not that serious, just a change of opinions. But at this moment, you can't just keep your mouth shut and move on.

You're jealous. Jealous that he's here ready to argue with you over a girl who's apparently his friend. He makes you feel like you're the idiot here and you don't know, maybe you are but you don't like how he's acting.

"It's last minute, Kook..." Jimin starts, giving you a side-glance. He's looking at you as if you're about to jump and attack Jungkook. "But I'm sure it can be arranged. Girls can share the tent, sorry Tae but I'm not sure Ester would be happy to share it with you. We don't want to traumatize her."

He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly while still giving you the side-glance while your frown turns only deeper. Even Taehyung laughs and tries to fake disappointment from Jimin's words.

"I'm not sharing a tent with her." you stubbornly scoff, Jungkook glaring the hell out of you and you're ten seconds from showing him your middle finger.

"You're being difficult. I don't know what's your problem with her, but she's a nice girl. You met her."

"Share the tent with her then. Since she's your friend." You know you're being childish, you even sound like it and you ignore everyone's eyes on you which makes you uncomfortable.

"I don't know if that's appropriate. Her sharing it with a girl is more appropriate."

You know he's got a point. But still, stubborn as you are, you fold your arms over your chest and give him a sweet smile. "Should've thought about it before you invited her."

"Okaaaay, guys. There's no need to–"

"You're so selfish right now." Jungkook comments and you gasp.

"Kook, seriously." Taehyung mutters but you see red.

"I'm selfish? You invite your friend and I'm selfish because I don't want to share the tent with her? Since when is she my problem? You invited her, you deal with it, Jeon." You're raising your voice, though Jungkook doesn't look phased one bit as he scoffs and looks away, clenching his jaw.

"Fine. I will buy her a fucking tent if that's what it takes." Don't forget to fuck her in it. Wait, where did that come from?

"I thought it's a friend's trip too. I mean, I don't really mind if someone invites a plus one. I get both sides." Taehyung tries to reason.

Jungkook lets out a sigh. "I wasn't planning on inviting her but it happened. I don't see any big deal in this."

Oh my god, you're done.

"Okay, then I'm inviting Yoongi." you say with an attitude, Jungkook's head snapping to yours including Taehyung and Jimin.

You do regret saying it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Why Yoongi out of all people? What did you think? But you don't back away. There's no way you will embarrass yourself even more than you already have.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're being childish." Jungkook scoffs. Yes, you're petty and what?

"What? I thought we are allowed to invite friends."

"He is not even your friend."

"How would you know?" you bite back.

"Oh come on!"

"Alright, calm down you two." Jimin frowns, looking genuinely concerned despite his frown.

"No, I'm starting to like this." Taehyung says with a smirk, looking excited to witness this as you frown at him.

You stand up, straightening your pants as you give a look to all your friends. "Yoongi is coming too."

"You don't even like him. Seriously, this is ridiculous." Jungkook can't help but speak up again.

You don't argue with him on that. Sure, Yoongi gets on your nerves most of the time but you don't not like him.

"Just invite who you want and be done with this." Jimin sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"No, she just did that on purpose!" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to scoff.

"Mind your business, Jeon and better go figure out where your friend is sleeping." you remark.

Deep down you do feel bad because of Ester. She has done nothing wrong to you or to anyone you know. You don't want her to think you don't like her and you do hope whatever happened here won't reach her. God, you really hope Jungkook won't snitch on you. He wouldn't, right?

"Wait, where are you going? How are we gonna sort out the cars then?" Taehyung calls out to you when you're on your way out.

You linger between the entrance of the living room and entrance hall, shrugging.

"We're gonna have to go with two cars anyway. So much for saving." he adds, grumbling.

"I don't know, I'll just go with Yoongi. Let me know how you arranged it. I'm going, I'm tired."

Taehyung's place starts to feel suffocating and you rush to put your shoes on, bidding them a sore goodbye as you get into your car.

You're a fucking idiot. You smack your head against the headrest, closing your eyes as you rub your forehead furiously instead, not wanting to smudge your make-up.

Great. You cannot show without Yoongi. You argued with Jungkook and let the most stupid idea come out of your mouth because of... because of what exactly? Annoyance? Anger? Jealousy?

All of the above most likely.

But the aftermath of your argument in front of Jimin and Taehyung is not the only thing that causes you another headache.

The thing is...

How the fuck will you convince him to go?

#jungkook x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #personasintro

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gentrychild · 7 months

Text

BNHA 407 : AFO is a lying liar who lies

Today is a very sad day because I am about to do something I genuinely dislike: I am about to defend All for One. In order to cope, I shall make fun of him the whole time.

AFO and Yoichi's backstory is finally out, with AFO narrating it, and there are two possibilities: he is either completely lying about it (boring) or he is lying a little about it (very in-character for him) because he is also lying to himself.

Lie number 1: AFO was born evil.

The narrator (AFO, seriously, it's AFO) says things such as "The baby drained the lifeforce of both his mom and his brother.", "It was born an arrogant baby." and such but it really reads at AFO villifying himself to add to his own legend.

That's what babies do. Children, before they're born, kinda have to take their strength from their mother. That's why pregnant people aren't supposed to do anything taxing.

AFO and Yoichi's mother didn't die because baby AFO drained her like a vampire. She died because she was a homeless woman who had access to nothing and had to go in labor alone.

Same thing here: during twin birth, a twin is often bigger than the other (well, probably not to extent of Yoichi and AFO, but you get my point).

Lie number 2: AFO, as a demon baby, is shown killing for no reason, just because he can.

(First slaughter by Baby AFO shown in that chapter.)

There are two things that are strange in this scene (apart from... you know.... a baby murdering people...)

AFO had no reason to go after them because they don't have any quirks to steal.

It makes no sense for someone to attack a group of people with nothing to gain. I doubt that's the kind of behavior you have when you're in survival mode as you're barely surviving in the street.

However, a previous panel points at some context we might be missing.

The same panel that indicates that those guys don't have a quirk to steal also shows that they are wiling to do some "preventive attack" on a bunch of quirked people who might or might not be those who assaulted a protest group (reminder that in this context, that protest group are protesting the rights for quirked people to exist).

I could be wrong but odds are that they did something to be qualified as a threat to All for One and we are missing the additional context.

(Second slaughter by Baby AFO shown in that chapter.)

Now, the poor souls who just got absolutely wrecked by a toddler wearing what I suspect to be a garbage bag have quirks, which makes more sense than the previous scene.

However (and thank you for @aimportantdragoncollector for pointing that out to me), we also have this panel.)

Yoichi is shown with bruises on his face and might be broken teeth.

Probably because those same people AFO is shown killing attacked him.

Lie number 3: AFO never loved Yoichi because he can't love, he just considered that he was his. That's all. Nothing more.

(Just... Just ignore the rats.)

AFO didn't care about Yoichi so much that the very conscious first act of his life might have been to swim a river upstream while dragging his brother above the surface with what must have been the deathgrip of all deathgrip.

AFO didn't care about his brother so much that Yoichi was fed and clothed by an AFO who was malnourished enough for his ribs to show and who wore what's basically an improvised toga.

But he just keeps sacrificing what little he has for someone he doesn't care about one bit, that's just his first possession. Nothing more.

Okay, I am going to be clear: anyone who sees that panel and thinks that it's the proof AFO didn't like his brother... You just outed yourself as an only child.

Siblings punt each other for no reason. (There is a reason why the first recorded murderer was an older sibling.) In this case, the reason was Yoichi throwing a can at him.

AFO: "You're not inviting me to a fun activity? You're leaving me out, in the cold, unable to partake in brother bonding activity? Oh, vault for Little Brother! Vault for Little Brother for one thousand years!"

AFO: "Nevermind, we're reading together. All is well, I guess."

Lie number 3: AFO killed the glowing baby for power, because he could, or because the Glowing Baby didn't deserve it

Still laughing about AFO's flawless reasoning... "Comic books heroes' life suck. Better to be a villain. I already did the whole struggle thing, I want an easy life."

AFO killed the glowing baby because he was jealous. It's as simple as that. The glowing baby was considered the first official quirked individual (even though it's not true), was protected by his family (if I remember correctly, the mother of quirks was his mom) while AFO and Yoichi had no one but each other (EDIT: I was wrong, the Mother of Quirks was Destro's mother. thanks to the people in the tags), and had a ton of people following him (while, for some strange reason, people start running away screaming when AFO shows his quirk... What a mystery...).

The last panel was basically AFO saying "I want to be loved' but not having the frame of reference to even know what love is.

In conclusion...

While AFO is definitely a bad guy and a monster, he didn't begin his existence as one. He just wants people to believe that. Because his pride and his ego can't allow him to admit that he lived a childhood full of horrible trauma where he was a victim abandoned by society (to an even greater extent than the LOV) or he would probably combust out of rage and mortification.

Ergo facto, AFO is a lying liar who lies, especially to himself.

#bnha 407 #bnha meta #bnha manga spoilers

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avocado-writing · 4 months

Note

Okay, I've had this idea bouncing around in my head, waiting for you to reopen suggestions, haha. How do you think the Origins Companions + Halsin, Rolan, Dammon, and Zevlor would react if they found out that Tav had been hiding a very serious injury from them? The kind of injury where Tav is convinced that they're fine and they don't want to worry anyone with something they can handle on their own, especially the people they care most for, but as they try to ignore the injury it only gets worse until it's potentially life threatening and they can't keep up the facade anymore. I will leave it up to you whether or not Tav and the other individual are in a romantic relationship. I think both ways have potential for wonderful angst 😆

ooohhh noooooo! but also oh yes, LOVE this sort of angst lol. written as if you have had an infection come on from an injury. this is gonna be a long list so let's buckle up...

Astarion

really tries to hide his panic but fails miserably.

can't help but start snapping - how could you keep something like this from him?

you try to give your excuses but he waves them away, angry, but mostly because he's terrified that he might have lost you.

if he has any healing potions he helps you take them, if he doesn't he immediately... sources some from somewhere.

holds you as tight as he dares, worried that he will aggravate the injury otherwise.

as you begin to heal and drift off to sleep he spends the whole night watching you rest, making sure that you're still breathing, still safe. doesn't mind when you cuddle up to him in the night, sleepily.

Gale

curses himself for not noticing your condition. he's a wizard, damn it! he's meant to be bloody perceptive.

wishes for the first time ever that he didn't just know wizard spells. wishes he knew how to heal, too.

makes you as comfortable as he can while he finds a book about what he can do for an infected wound, probably swallowing his pride and going to Shadowheart if it's bad enough.

you manage a weak, "Gale, you don't have to--", and he cuts you off, "if you're going to insist that I don't have to look after you, I'm telling you that I do."

fixes you something to help with the pain and infection, makes sure you drink it all despite the horrid taste, then tucks you into his bedroll to let you rest.

when you go to reach out and cuddle him he slips into your arms, presses his lips to your hair, and whispers as you fall asleep about how much you scared him. about how he'd never be able to lose you.

Lae'zel

only realises how unwell you are when you fall over mid-journey.

"tsk'va! why did you hide the extent of your injuries from me?"

hauls you onto her back and carries you back to camp, muttering about your foolishness the whole time.

makes you comfortable in her tent and uses her knowledge of githyanki medicine to help start healing you.

it isn't comfortable as she works on your infection but for the first time you feel her hands being soft rather than vicious.

"you should not have kept this from me." "I know. I'm sorry." "hm. ridiculous thing. zhak vo'n'fynh duj."

goes and intimidates the camp into being quiet so you can rest. it works. this is the nicest she's ever been to you. you could get used to it.

Shadowheart

obviously this is not a huge problem for her, but she is still worried that it got so far without her noticing.

immediately heals you, pouring far too many spell slots into your body in order to get it up and running again.

it helps, immediately breaking the fever you've been nursing, and the touch of Shadowheart's hand to your face is cooling and reassuring.

"lady shar teaches us to embrace our pain... but not like this. you should have known better. you could have died."

her hand slips down to cup your cheek, you cover it with one of your own. she's telling you off but you can tell it's because she cares.

"I'm sorry that I scared you." "I know. don't do it again."

she smiles and the ache in your heart is lifted, too.

Wyll

panics.

you collapse on day in camp and he immediately calls on the others for help, not so proud as to be unable to admit when something is out of his knowledge. he is not a healer. he needs help.

he manages to catch you in his arms as you tumble, hugging you close to his chest while magic is worked or a healer checks you over.

lets out a breath he didn't realise he was holding when you begin to stabilise.

helps you back to your tent to rest, gently chiding you but letting you know that he's glad you're alright.

when your hand weakly comes up to touch him, he indulges you in a kiss to let you know how relieved he is.

constantly watching you on the battlefield from that moment on. if he can help it, you'll never be hurt again.

Karlach

another panicker.

scoops you up in her arms and holds you to her chest, running to the tent of the nearest healer in camp - or, if you're in the city, kicking down the door of a local doctor.

begging the healer to check you over, but is reluctant to let you go. if she stops holding you it's like she's relinquishing control and that scares the life out of her.

you're healed and she feels you start to stir in her arms, peppering you with kisses of relief, choking through her tears that you're never to scare her like that again.

carries you back home, even if you're totally capable of walking. she just wants to make sure you're okay.

Halsin

sternly disappointed that you didn't tell him, but more annoyed that he didn't notice something was wrong himself. how could he not see how out of balance with nature you were?

squirrels you away to his tent to heal you, make you soothing and medicinal teas, his big hands over the source of the infection.

you burrow into his touch, into his chest, and you end up sitting in his lap as he heals you.

he wants to tell you off a little, but is more relieved that you're alright. encourages you to share all your burdens with him.

kisses you on the forehead, then on the mouth when he's sure you're strong enough for it not to knock you flat.

Dammon

my poor boy is just a blacksmith, so though he doesn't exactly panic, he does scoop you up and try to find a healer as soon as he can.

waits quietly and nervously as you are examined, silently cursing himself for being too busy to see how you were hurt. he's meant to be better than this. he's meant to love you, how didn't he notice?

when you come to he can't stop apologising, and it takes several of your kisses to soothe him and tell him it was not his fault but yours.

he makes you promise that you'll always tell him when you're hurt. has you look into his eyes and swear it.

he can't do much on the battlefield but he can protect you where he can.

Rolan

another one cursing that he doesn't know healing spells.

"you aren't meant to die, gods damn it! you're meant to be strong... what good am I if I can't keep you safe..."

rushes you to the best doctor in Baldur's Gate. pays for all the treatment that you could need. holds your hand at your bedside for your entire recovery... until you come back to consciousness, of course, at which point he just starts telling you off for being stupid enough to get into his mess in the first place.

you grab him by the collar and drag him down for a kiss. that finally shuts him up. but he never lets you forget how foolish you were.

Zevlor

practical but still worried about you.

you collapse in the field and he finds a safe place to hide the both of you from dangerous eyes, using his Lay on Hands ability to channel his magic into healing.

you try to apologise but a finger to your lips silences you, and all you can do is watch in quiet wonder as he burns the infection out with his Paladin's light.

when you're better he gently chides you. tells you that you have people relying on your leadership, and that a problem shared means there are more heads working on how to fix it.

when he sees how sorry you are lets you cuddle into him. when you say you'll repay him, he insists your happiness and well-being is enough for an old warrior like him.

does take the kiss you offer, though. he's been wanting to do that for a while...

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theostrophywife · 11 months

Note

Hey! I love your work! I was wondering if you could do a Azriel x reader fic where reader doesn’t know a lot about males and so az (maybe he already has a thing for reader) offers to give her lessons? The more NSFW the better 😉

innocence.

author's note: sorry for being m.i.a. please accept this as my apology gift. largely inspired by this song. you can't tell me that az doesn't have the biggest corrpution kink 😏

it started out innocently enough.

one winter evening after a particularly rowdy wine night, you and azriel laid in a heap at the house of wind, giggling at nothing as the warmth of the alcohol lowered your inhibitions and loosened your lips.

"never?" azriel asked incredulously, his brows creasing in the most adorable way. "you've truly never kissed anyone?"

you pouted, crossing your arms. thanks to cassian and his big mouth, the shadowsinger now knew the true extent of your naivete. growing up in the high priestess's temple in the dawn court, you had devoted much of your life to duty and training, which left little to no room for encounters with the opposite sex.

it never bothered you before. until you moved to the night court and met the shadowsinger. azriel was beyond gorgeous and smart and funny and probably well-versed in the art of seduction, which is more than you could say for your inexperienced self.

"don't tease, az." you groaned, covering your face behind your hands. as if that would hide the flush spreading through your cheeks. "i'm already mortified enough as it is."

"hey," azriel said softly as he gently grabbed your wrists. "it's nothing to be embarrassed about, love."

"you're just saying that to be nice."

the shadowsinger shook his head. "i torture people for a living," he deadpanned. "i am not nice."

you chuckled, which brought a smile to azriel's handsome face. "besides, practice makes perfect. i've seen you go from not knowing how to hold a sword to perfecting the eight point attack in a matter of weeks. kissing should be a piece of cake compared to that."

"kissing and fighting aren't the same thing."

azriel smirked. "it is, if you're doing it right. all it takes is a good teacher." the tips of your ears reddened. “and we all know how fast of a learner you are.”

you snorted. "somehow i doubt that nesta would be into the idea of letting me borrow her mate for lessons." a little frown formed on your face. "or maybe she would. you never know with those two."

the idea formed in azriel's mind before he could think better of it. the shadowsinger hated that he thought of it in the first place, but fuck. you were both a little tipsy and a tiny bit reckless and he'd been crushing on you for far too long and maybe tonight was the night he finally did something about it.

"i could teach you."

you stilled. “what?”

azriel shrugged and put on his most nonchalant expression even though his inner monologue was currently pure turmoil. “i could teach you how to kiss.” he cleared his throat, lowering his gaze to yours. “it might help to practice with someone you’re comfortable with.”

you cocked your head, weighing his words. “you’re…actually serious about this.”

“why wouldn’t i be?”

“well, wouldn’t it make things weird? you’re my best friend. best friends don’t just kiss.”

you had him there. azriel certainly had never offered this unique service to any of his friends before. “i don’t think it’s weird. i think it makes perfect sense. in fact, it’s weird that we’re not kissing right now. best friends kiss all the time,” the shadowsinger deadpanned.

you snorted. “so you and cassian are just having heated little makeout sessions behind me and nesta’s back?”

azriel winked. “i won’t tell if you don’t.”

that earned an earnest little giggle out of you. then you were quiet again, lost in the pros and cons.

pro: you really wanted to kiss azriel.

con: you really wanted to kiss azriel.

what if you were horrible at it? what if you had bad breath? what if you accidentally bit him? what if azriel figured out that you had a pathetic little crush on him and he doesn’t return the feelings and your friendship implodes then you’d have to move back to the dawn court and adopt a bunch of cats just like thesan always teased you about when you were children—

“you’re spiraling.”

you crossed your arms. “am not.”

azriel rolled his eyes fondly. “i can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.” his expression softened as he turned over on the couch, his chin perched in one hand. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to. i just…” the bob of an adam’s apple. “i just wanted your first kiss to be with someone who genuinely cares about you.”

that turned your insides into mush. “oh.”

the shadowsinger’s cheeks reddened. “never mind, it sounds silly now that i’ve said it out loud.”

“it’s not,” you said, sitting cross legged on the sofa. “it’s not stupid, az. it’s really sweet, actually.”

your heart hammered inside of your chest as you faced azriel. his hazel eyes glowed golden under the faelights and a warm flush colored his cheeks a rosy tone. from this close, you could make out the constellations of freckles that kissed his nose and cheeks, its traitorous little trail stopping just above his cupid’s bow. you couldn’t help it. your gaze went straight to his lips. they looked soft, sensual, and perfectly kissable. you wondered if he’d taste like sweet wine.

“y/n?” azriel murmured softly.

“hmm?”

“you’re staring.”

your cheeks reddened and a slight smirk tugged at the corner of azriel’s mouth. “you’re the one who brought up kissing,” you countered, raising a brow. “now i can’t stop staring at your stupid lips.”

the shadowsinger’s smirk grew wider. “my stupid lips,” he repeated. “that you want to kiss.”

“no,” you blurted. azriel raised a knowing brow. “yes. maybe.” you shifted awkwardly. “what if i’m terrible at it? what if i accidentally miss? what if i don’t know where to put my hands? oh my gods, what if i accidentally bite you?”

to his credit, there wasn’t an ounce of judgement on azriel’s face. he’d witnessed your outbursts enough times that he wasn’t even fazed by it. the shadowsinger grabbed your hand and traced soothing circles over your knuckles. “one, no one’s first kiss is great. at best, it’s weird and awkward because you’re just trying to figure it out. that’s kind of the point. two, you won’t miss. just follow my lead. three, the neck or waist are generally safe spots to place your hands.” azriel demonstrated by wrapping your arms around his neck. “lastly, i don’t mind if you bite me. in fact, i might enjoy it.” he gave you a cheeky wink that helped dissipate the rest of your anxious worries.

you chuckled softly. leave it to azriel to make you laugh mid freak out. the shadowsinger smiled and cauldron fucking boil you, the sight of it pretty much sealed your fate.

“so,” you murmured, toying with the loose curls at the nape of azriel’s neck. “what now?”

“that’s entirely up to you, love.”

you blinked. once, twice. the smell of cedar and starkissed night. freckles and rosy cheeks. warm, golden eyes that melted your insides like honey. scarred hands that caressed the side of your face with heartbreaking gentleness.

“kiss me, azriel.”

the shadowsinger did not need to be told twice. he tilted your chin, brushing his nose against yours for a brief moment. azriel took a deep breath like he was savoring the moment, like his entire life had been leading up to this. then he kissed you.

his lips were as soft as freshly plucked rose petals and as sweet as the wine that still coated your tongue. they pressed against yours, gentle and exploring as azriel cupped your cheek. you leaned into him and your fingers found purchase in his silky, dark locks as azriel deepened the kiss. his arm snaked across your back as he pulled you into his lap, his mouth never once leaving yours. the sweet innocent pecks did not stay innocent for long.

the shadowsinger groaned as you nestled into him. there wasn’t an inch of your body that wasn’t pressed against him, but still you wanted more. your hands moves of their own accord and slipped underneath azriel’s cream sweater. his skin felt like a warm summer day despite the fact that it was currently the dead of winter.

“fuck,” azriel growled into your neck.

you pulled away, startled. it didn’t even occur to you that your fingers were as cold as icicles. “shit. sorry, az i didn’t think—“

you slipped your hands out of his sweater, but azriel caught you by the wrist. “no,” he grunted, his voice dark and low and dangerous. “no, don’t stop.”

it was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. even hotter still with the way azriel tugged you to him as though he’d rather die than have you stop touching him. you greedily obliged, taking the lead this time. azriel cursed under his breath as you kissed him again, tangling his curls between your fingers. there was something intoxicating about him—his taste, his touch, his kiss. you couldn’t get enough.

when you finally came up for breath, the shadowsinger looked at you as though he’d been starving for centuries and you’d only really begun to scratch the surface of his hunger. azriel wanted to devour you.

but tonight, he’d settle for a kiss. except, it was anything but.

azriel was fucked.

he blinked, drinking in your lust added gaze and flushed cheeks. you brought your bottom lip between your teeth and it was all he could do to reel himself in. “are…are all first kisses like that?” your voice was hoarse from disuse and utterly sexy.

“no,” azriel answered honestly. “i’ve never had a kiss like that.”

your grin brought out a set of dimples that azriel had long ago deemed as his greatest weaknesses. “and i’ve never had a first kiss, period.”

and you never will again, azriel thought. not if he could help it.

“does that feel good, love?” azriel asked as he pressed a kiss against your collar bone.

you whimpered as his lips trailed between the valley of your breasts. since that first kiss, you and azriel hadn’t been able to keep your hands off of each other. over the last few weeks, the apprehension you felt about your inexperience slowly started to feel like a blessing in disguise. azriel said you were a fast learner, but only because he was such a great teacher.

“gods,” you breathed, clutching the sheets as azriel continued his descent.

“you can just call me az, you know.”

you rolled your eyes at the cheeky male below you. from this angle, he certainly looked like a god. his hair was a tousled mess, dark curls tangled from where you ran your fingers through it. sweat dripped down his shirtless torso, his golden brown skin glowing in the afternoon light. you were vaguely aware that the sun as setting over the horizon, which meant that the rest of your friends would be arriving for dinner, but neither one of you seemed to care.

during the past few weeks, you and azriel continued your lessons. first base was easy enough to master. the two of you put in plenty of hours sneaking off to make out in azriel’s room, the wine cellar, the training pits, and even in feyre’s art studio at the river house once when things really got desperate. it was a wonder that your friends hadn’t caught you yet. there had been several close calls with cassian. mostly because the male was a nosy busybody.

second base took a little more work. you were terrified at first. you and azriel had been making out in your bed for what seemed like hours before you finally mustered up the courage to slip your hand into his trousers. the shadowsinger made a sound that was half growl and half purr and for a split second you were afraid that you’d hurt him. when you voiced your fears, azriel was quick to reassure you.

“i’m not in pain, love.” azriel said, his voice strained and breathy. “trust me, i feel the complete opposite.”

“tell me how to make you feel good, az.”

the string of curse words that fell from his lips were so filthy that it made you blush. the shadowsinger guided your hand over his cock and you nearly gasped at the impressive length. azriel was hot and hard beneath your touch, his wings flexing as you grasped him in your hand.

“loosen your grip, love.” azriel adjusted your hand, motioning for your fingers to relax and mold against him. you mimicked his movement, eliciting a low rumble out of the shadowsinger. the competitive part of you awakened, eager to make azriel groan like that again. you gazed up at azriel through your lashes with determination. “gods, don’t look at me like that y/n or this lesson will be over before it’s even started.”

heat erupted in your core, but you shook the desire away. this was about azriel. you wanted to make him come undone for once instead of the other way around. “show me, az.” you said. “i want to see how you touch yourself.”

“cauldron boil me,” azriel muttered under his breath. “you’re going to be the death of me, y/n.”

you watched as he gripped himself and pumped at a steady pace. he slowed down the movements for you and you studied each flick of his wrist as though you’d be tested on it later. as sinful as it was, there was something heavenly about watching azriel stroke himself. your hands itched to touch him. once you felt confident enough, azriel let you take over.

azriel’s eyes rolled back as you pumped his shaft, carefully watching the rise and fall of his chest. his heavy breathing filled the room and it quickly became your favorite sound in the world.

you felt a strange rush of power witnessing azriel in such a vulnerable state. his lids were heavy with lust, golden eyes barely visible from the ring of onyx swallowing up his irises. you thought he looked pretty like this, his head tilted back against your headboard while his lips parted to release a shallow breath every now and then.

"you have no idea how good that feels, love." azriel grunted. you tightened your grip, spreading the bead of precum over his tip. your little improvisation was met with a moan that seeped into your bones.

"how good, az?" you teased.

those long lashes of his kissed the tops of his cheeks as his eyes fluttered close. "fucking amazing," azriel declared. "keep going, love. don't stop, please. gods—"

"you can just call me y/n, you know."

azriel growled in response before pulling you in for a heated kiss. his hips thrust up to match your pace as his tongue parted your lips. he swallowed your moans, devouring you like his life depended on it.

“just like that, love.” azriel said in appreciation. “you’re doing such a good job, y/n.”

the praise affected you more than you thought it would. you were always seeking positive feedback when it came to your work, especially in training, but this was something else. it only encouraged you to keep going at a faster pace until azriel was coming undone in your hands. the sight of him losing control would forever be etched in your mind.

the more azriel gave, the more you craved. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. the whole thing may have started as a practical way to tackle sex, but as time went on, it started to evolve into something else entirely.

until the lessons weren’t really just lessons anymore.

if you had to pinpoint the moment when everything changed, it would have been a few days after winter solstice. azriel had been away for a mission and was unable to make it home for the festivities. throughout the night, you kept finding yourself fidgeting and glancing at the empty seat beside you. at one point during dinner, cassian squeezed your hand and smiled sadly.

“i’m sure he misses you too, y/n.”

the gravity of those words hit you full force when you found azriel standing in the doorway of your flat. he was still dressed in his combat leathers and dark circles formed underneath his eyes as though he’d flown nonstop from wherever he was to get back home. before you could stop yourself, you rushed at him and nearly knocked him into the street from the force of your hug.

“i know, love.” azriel murmured softly into your hair. “i missed you, too.”

one bath and two cups of hot chocolate later, you found yourself curled up on the sofa as snow fell softly against the windowpane. you set your drink down on the table and turned to face azriel.

“so, i was thinking…”

the corner of azriel’s mouth quirked. “that’s never good.”

you tossed a pillow at him and rolled your eyes. “i was thinking that maybe it’s my turn to teach you a lesson, for once.”

the shadowsinger looked intrigued by that. “oh yeah? and what do you want to teach me, love?”

“i’m going to teach you how to sleep, az.” you pointedly stared at his bruised eyes, which only made him chuckle in amusement. “because judging from those bags underneath your eyes, you’re no expert in the matter.”

“i don’t get a say in this, do i?” shadows peered over his shoulders as though they too yearned for rest.

“nope,” you said cheerfully, dragging him off the couch and into your bedroom.

azriel let you bully him into getting underneath the covers. he tucked his wings to the side as he faced you. “what’s so great about this thing you call sleep, then? seems pretty boring to me.”

“well if you’d let me demonstrate,” you said impatiently before tugging him towards you. azriel chuckled and scooted closer. “i’ll have you know i’m a world class cuddler.”

“yeah? prove it then, love.” azriel teased.

the shadowsinger watched in amusement as you bossed him around. first you made him lie on his stomach and then pulled him to your chest. as much as he enjoyed teasing the absolute hell out of you, he couldn’t help but murmur in satisfaction as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. even his shadows seemed to enjoy bathing in your warmth and breathing in your jasmine shampoo.

“mmm,” az mumbled sleepily. for the first time in gods knew how long, he felt warm and safe and content. “you’re bossy as hell, but comfy too.”

“i know, you stubborn giant bat baby.”

the shadowsinger snorted. “giant bat baby?”

you rolled your eyes fondly. “shut up and cuddle, az.”

azriel burrowed himself further until his body heat warmed every inch of your skin. “that’s the good stuff,” he declared, brushing a soft kiss against your collarbone.

“told you i was good,” you said with a smile. azriel couldn’t even argue. with your hands massaging his scalp and your legs intertwined with his, the shadowsinger would’ve agree to anything you said.

“the best,” he hummed against your skin.

this was dangerous territory. with your other lessons, it was easy to shove aside your feelings because pleasure made it hard to think about anything else. but with azriel laying on your chest and clinging onto you like this meant something more…you could no longer avoid that pesky voice of doubt.

you were in love with azriel.

you had been for a long time.

shit.

“y/n?” azriel asked, cutting through the turmoil of your thoughts. his wings draped over the sides of your bed, relaxed and at ease.

“yeah?”

his golden eyes found yours in the dark. for a second, he stared at you like he was trying to commit every detail to memory. the shadowsinger opened his mouth like he was going to say something important, but he gave a tiny shake of his head and smiled.

“good night, love.”

in that moment, you knew azriel had your heart in the palm of his hand. “good night, az.”

azriel knew it was only a matter of time before these lessons came back to bite him on the ass.

he had been so eager that first night. mostly because he'd had a crush on you for so long and it was finally time to do something about it. the shadowsinger knew that he probably should've just told you how he felt, but he didn't want to shatter this delicate thing between you.

after all, these were just lessons. for all he knew, he was just your practice partner. it wasn't really all that different from sparring. except your weapons where your lips and your hands and your fucking smile that made his heart skip a beat every time you so much as grinned at him from across the room.

gods, he was so fucked.

the reality of it didn't fully hit him until that disastrous spring night.

the two of you had perfected third base eons ago. azriel knew how to make you cum with his mouth using a combination of expert tongue flicks and help from his shadows. nothing brought him joy like your shaking legs greedily wrapping around him as he ate your pussy like a man starved.

azriel thought he found the key to happiness until you returned the favor and went down on him.

finding restraint was hard. reeling his desire in while you knelt before him with your lips wrapped around his cock was nearly impossible.

"like this?" you asked, licking a stripe along the underside of his cock. azriel thought he was going to come right then and there when you looked up at him through your lashes, determination burning in your gaze.

you had always been intense. azriel knew that much from months of training together, but he didn't expect you to approach sex with the same competitiveness. you put your all into everything you did, which is what made azriel fall for you in the first place. he just didn't think you'd take the same approach when it came to sucking his dick. not that he was complaining.

in fact, all he could really do was moan.

the shadowsinger attempted to pull it together long enough to utter a coherent sentence. he had to at least attempt to say something helpful. you were putting your trust in him. he liked knowing that he'd been your first everything. now he just had to muster up the courage to tell you that he also intended to be the last.

he tried. he really did.

that night in his room. laying in bed with your legs tangled together. the soft spring breeze billowing through your curtains. azriel watched as you propped yourself up on your elbows and turned towards him.

"so, what now?" you asked.

azriel's brows furrowed with confusion. "what do you mean, love?"

you tilted your head, biting down on your bottom lip as you mulled over what to say next. it was one of your many little quirks that azriel adored. "i mean, what happens now? we've pretty much covered all the bases. except for one."

sex. you hadn't had sex yet. azriel knew this would come up sooner or later, but he had hoped it would be the latter. while it was easy to pretend that the lessons were just lessons to him, azriel couldn't do that with sex. it had always been hard for him to separate his feelings from the physical act and as much as he wanted to make sure that your first experience would be with someone who loved you, it wouldn't be fair to have sex without telling you the truth.

"i don't think that would be a good idea." as soon as the words left his mouth, azriel knew it was the wrong thing to say. he could tell that much from the look on your face. "i just mean, we shouldn't rush into anything."

"rush?" you asked incredulously. "azriel, we've spent the last three months doing anything and everything under the sun except sex."

"and it's been great," azriel said, trying to reel the conversation back in. "the lessons. trusting each other. but i just think you should take a step back and consider if you're truly ready."

that intense gaze he loved so much suddenly felt like the sweltering sun that azriel couldn't wait to shy away from. "you were my first kiss, az. my first everything. i think i've made it pretty clear on where i stand." you paused for a second, scanning his face. "oh my gods. i didn't even think to ask if you wanted this."

you were up before the absurdity of that statement could sink into azriel. if he wanted this? he'd never wanted anything more in his entire life.

"they were just lessons," you murmured to yourself while gathering your clothes. “how could i be so stupid?”

"y/n, please." azriel pleaded, not entirely believing what he was hearing. he nearly tripped over his own bedsheets as he followed you across the room.

“no, az. i’m sorry, i thought—“ your eyes brimmed with tears. the sight broke his fucking heart. “it’s not your fault. i just assumed—“

“that i’m in love with you?” azriel asked, gently gripping your wrists. you froze, wide eyes pinning azriel in place. “because i am, you know. i’ve been in love with you since the moment we met. this past few months, it’s killed me to pretend that whatever this is between us is just lessons.”

your gaze softened. “why didn’t you ever say anything?”

azriel chuckled bitterly. “because i’m a coward. i was scared that you might not feel the same way, so i settled for whatever scraps you were willing to give me.”

tears filled your eyes again and azriel was scared he’d fucked it up again, but you wiped your cheeks and cupped his face. “you deserve more than that, azriel.”

“i know, love.” he bowed his head. “and you deserve more than just lessons. that’s why i don’t want to have sex. not unless you know what this means to me. if we do this, there will be no one else. not today, not ever. i may be your first, but i also intend to be your last. if you’ll let me.”

a stray tear fell down your cheek, but it was a happy one this time. “if you haven’t noticed, i’m totally crazy about you, az. i think i’ve been in love with you longer than i wanted to admit.”

“can’t blame you,” the shadowsinger said. “i’m totally lovable.”

you smacked him in the chest, but azriel only laughed before he kissed you. really kissed you. it felt like you were floating on air.

gods, you loved him. you really did.

you smiled into the kiss. “i love you, az.”

the shadowsinger kissed the tip of your nose. “i love you too, y/n.”

“so…no more lessons, right?”

azriel shook his head and scooped you into his arms. “no more lessons. i want the real thing this time.”

#friends and family we are gathered here today to fucking YEARN #i missed az and i m back with a bang #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel fic #azriel smut #azriel fluff #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #acotar

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peopleareaproblem · 2 months

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"It's the only name I can say."

So last ep, Kalina dropped this line after saying "Ragh Barkrock" again. She's really trying to get the Bad Kids to deduce who she could be referring to via Ragh. We've found out about the Spy's Tongue Curse since she last dropped Ragh's name, so it's clear that she's implying that she cannot say the names she wants to say and is dropping Ragh's name as a clue. I've been seeing a lot of theories about this line that are convinced it's implying Lydia Barkrock. I disagree: I think she is referring to Arianwen, Jace and Porter. Here's why.

First of all, and most obviously: Kalina says Lydia's full name in Sophomore Year episode 6.

Kalina: But you do have some time to talk it over because I'm gonna head out and kill Lydia Barkrock. So take care.

I don't think Brennan or the D20 Lorekeeper would have missed this. Kalina doesn't have a Spy's Tongue Curse with Lydia.

Secondly, the gang already investigated Lydia and got relevant clues from her, and Brennan did not encourage suspicion towards Lydia in any way. This repeat of the clue really feels like a "you guys didn't get it yet" type thing. Last time they assumed Lydia and that wasn't it. Try again.

Thirdly, Ragh's only real interaction with Kalina is about a single time he saw something he shouldn't have: Jace, Porter and Arianwen talking to someone invisible (Kalina) on Prom Night. I believe that if the Bad Kids just asked Ragh what Kalina could possibly have meant by "Ragh Barkrock" and "It's the only name I can say," he would absolutely bring up this fact. But they haven't!

That's why I am convinced that Arianwen, and to a lesser extent Jace and Porter, are who Kalina was referring to.

Below the cut are some bits of the trancript from Episode 4 of Sophomore Year, where Ragh reveals this to the Bad Kids.

Ragh is describing the aftermath of the fight with Kalvaxus:

Ragh: I ran into the school. And I went and I saw there was this conversation, and I was going, 'cause a lot of the teachers had been trapped in the crystals and had come out again. And I saw Jace, the sorcery teacher-- Adaine: Mm-hmm. Ragh: Talking to this woman that I didn't recognize. She was an elven woman, she was wearing sort of like black, dark robes, it looked like, they were very light. She was blonde, she had glasses. Adaine: She look like this? [points at her face] Ragh: She look like you? Adaine: Mm-hmm. Ragh: I mean, yeah. Yeah, she looked like, yeah, she looked like you. But older. She didn't look like-- Adaine: Right. Ragh: Um, you know, I mean, elves never look that old, but she looked like, you know, not a high schooler. Um. Jace and them were talking, and they were talking to somebody else who I couldn't see. I just assumed somebody was like, invisible. Um. Later, um, Jace and Porter came and talked to me--

Ragh goes on to describe Porter healing him, despite Ragh not feeling "that injured, honestly", and after that he can see Kalina despite not being able to see her moments before:

Ragh: And after that, I was like walking home, and I saw this cat woman, this tabaxi. And she came up, and told me all this stuff about my mom, and she said if I ever talked to anyone about it, she would kill my mom.

This indicates that Porter infected Ragh with the curse, on purpose. Probably to allow Kalina to threaten and manipulate him so he wouldn't tell anyone what he saw. She really doesn't want him telling anyone that he saw Arianwen there.

Ragh: She told me if I ever mentioned to anyone what I had seen about that elven woman-- Adaine: Mm-hmm. Ragh: That she would kill my mom.

They have a short conversation about wether Jace is suspect, but dismiss it. Adaine shows Ragh a photo of her mother and he confirms that it is the woman he saw.

#fhjy #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #ragh barkrock #lydia barkrock #arianwen abernant #jace stardiamond #porter cliffbreaker

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lixie-phoria · 5 months

Text

↳ ♡₊˚. tag, you're it ꒱

— skz helping 9th member reader w/ her paranoid personality disorder

requested - yes // 9th fem!member who has paranoid personality disorder (PPD) and she always thinks that she isn’t alone in the dorms when she’s by herself? The boys don’t know anything about is as she hides it from them but one day the boys get a camera for the living room as weird things have been happening when they aren’t there... skz x 9th member fem!reader / warnings - angst w happy ending, mentions of anxiety, paranoia, stalkers, and paranoid personality disorder / 3.2k words / a/n - this is the longest fic i've ever written 😭

"boo!"

"fuck!"

you gasped in shock, stumbling back as hyunjin popped out from behind the couch, a playful smile tugging at his lips.

"did i scare you?" he giggles, standing up properly and making his way towards you, failing to notice how you eyes were still quivering with fright and your tight grip on your phone.

"why would you do that, hyunjin?"

you sound off, your voice an octave higher and trembling with an emotion that confuses him. was he sensing anger?

"it's just a joke ynnie. calm down."

it wasn't just a joke to you, though. it was much more than that. but you couldn't to explain it to him, so you leave him in the living room with an eye roll, staring at your retreating figure in confusion.

hyunjin doesn't bring it up after that. maybe he just happened to catch you on one of your bad days.

but he begins noticing things ever since - things that weren't necessarily normal. things that you have always done, but this time when he really thinks about it, they're a bit strange.

how you're always extra jumpy, flinching at every loud sound, refusing to leave the house without an unnecessary amount of security, being extra cautious when you went to public events, and straight up refusing to socialize with anyone more than necessary.

your members always labelled it on you being an introvert. but to the extent that you barely even spoke about yourself to your own members? as though scared to trust them with information? that wasn't normal, was it?

hyunjin thinks hard. he's a bit worried about you, but he doesn't know what to do.

tell chan? no. chan didn't need more problems on his plate.

confront you? no. you hated confrontation. it would worsen things.

talk to another member about it? maybe. but you might get mad at him. you always hated people meddling with your personal life.

so he stays silent for a while, observing from a distance.

and he begins picking up on signs soon enough.

you were paranoid. extremely paranoid. he caught you looking over your shoulder every few minutes, expertly dodging personal questions, being hypersensitive to criticism, having spells of moodiness that followed no particular pattern, suddenly giving your own members the cold shoulder, over analysing every little interaction you had with people. it was worrisome.

yes maybe hyunjin was looking into it too much and it wasn't that big of a deal. but he couldn't brush off a certain thought nagging him at the back of his mind. something was definitely up, and it was about time he spoke to the others about it.

"I think yn has a stalker." hyunjin mutters, shifting uncomfortably in his seat under the blank gazes of the other 7.

"what?" chan sounds confused, eyebrows furrowed as he shares an unsure glance with lee know. "did she say anything?"

that was the problem. you didn't. so he had no solid proof other than his theories.

"well, not really" he rubs the back of his neck. "but something is wrong. I know it. she's been acting weird."

"weird as in?"

"it's the usual. she hasn't changed. but when you look into her habits, they're not normal hyung."

it's tense. nobody knows what to say until changbin breaks the silence.

"what do you mean by not normal?"

"I don't mean it in a bad way," hyunjin hastily defends. "it's the way she's so paranoid, always on the edge. it can't be anxiety. anxiety doesn't make you act that way. it's almost like she's scared of something or someone."

he leaves it at that, allowing for the others to ponder over it.

your managers hadn't mentioned anything. maybe it was a sasaeng bothering you? maybe you slipped up and you were scared to share it with the company? scared of their berating?

"we can't jump to conclusions, can we?" felix interjects, fingers anxiously drumming against the table.

hyunjin shakes his head. "we can't. that's why i've been observing her for the past few weeks, and this was the most reasonable explanation i could find."

"what exactly made you start looking into it?"

"i tried jump scaring her two weeks ago, when she thought she was alone at the dorms. and she was so livid she didn't even crack a smile. i thought maybe she was just in a bad mood but for a few days after she kept acting strange around me. she would barely speak to me and even when she did she wouldn't meet my eyes."

chan hums, a frown twisting against his features. if hyunjin's guess was correct, you could be in serious trouble. and if he thought about it, there may just be a chance the boy was right. if you really did have a stalker threatening you, the chances you told them about it were close to zero. you were never one to confide in people easily.

"let's not tell the managers about it, yeah? we'll all observe her too. try seeing if there's anything out of the ordinary?"

and so they all agree, leaving the company in a much worse mood than with which they had entered. you were alone back at the dorms. it was your first day off in a very long time. hence hyunjin had chosen that moment to tell the others.

the drive back is tense. nobody says much. a few of them scroll through social media, trying to see if there's any news about a stalker. but they come up with nothing.

everything seems normal.

that is until they reach their apartment.

the change is immediately obvious. when chan unlocks the door, he stumbles back in surprise when he sees their dinner table blocking the corridor of the entrance, preventing them from entering the living room. the couch had also noticeably shifted, turned such that anyone sitting on it would have a clear view of the windows and the front door. every window is shut, the latches bolted.

"what the fuck happened here?" seungmin mutters in shock, carefully lifting the table from one end and moving it to make space for them to enter. the entire layout had changed.

"where's yn?"

all of them are visibly terrified as they make their way deeper into the dorm, noticing the can of pepper spray lying on the center table.

"yn!"

no answer.

"fuck. I hope she's okay."

there's nothing they can do besides hope as they reach your door. it's locked. there's no sound coming from the other side.

"yn?" Chan's voice wavers as he silently knocks at your door.

no answer.

"yn! it's us!" lee know pounds against the door.

there's a moment of tense silence before they hear the unmistakable click of your lock.

"hi?"

your hair is ruffled and your eyes puffy. you had been asleep.

it takes you by surprise when jeongin pushes his hyungs aside to grab you by the shoulders, chest heaving with the fright you had given them.

"what's wrong innie? why do you guys look like you've seen a ghost?"

"what's wrong? you tell us yn. why is all our furniture completely rearranged?"

for the first time your eyes land on the living room, and you gulp.

shit. you forgot to clean up.

"there was a bee. I was trying to kill it."

"what?"

it sounds ridiculous even to your own ears, but it's the best excuse you have.

"yeah. that's why the windows are closed. it got in somehow and I lost it. I was just trying to search for it." you shrug.

"what about the pepper spray?"

"I couldn't find the bug repellent."

the excuses come to you naturally.

"yn please-"

"it's not that big of a deal, oppa" you cut chan off, defensively crossing your arms. "you know I hate bugs. that's all there is to this. now will you please let me go back to sleep?"

you don't wait for their reply, shutting the door and locking it, leaving your members half confused and half exasperated. you were lying to them.

"please tell me none of you believed her." hyunjin whispers into the silence of the afternoon, taking care that you don't overhear them.

"something's definitely wrong," han agrees, his foot bouncing unconsciously against the carpet. "she's hiding something."

"but what?"

the million dollar question. what were you hiding? was it really a stalker?

"should we tell the managers about it now?"

"I think we should," lee know adds, looking at the others for confirmation.

"don't you think she'll be angry? she doesn't like people meddling with her business. you know how defensive she gets."

all of them turn to chan. in the end, it would be his say.

"I think we should try figuring out the reason first ourselves."

"but-"

"a motion detector and CCTV camera might work. hidden from sight, of course. it would alert us."

changbin hums, agreeing with their leader. "We could give it a try. It's better than nothing."

and so the plan is set. felix makes an excuse of buying parts for his PC and brings home the camera and motion detector. when you go to shower the next morning, the device is expertly concealed and motion detectors set in place.

chan insists you stay back that day too, going on for a long time about something related to your health and dark circles and what not. you agree reluctantly, and they don't fail to notice it. you didn't want to be alone. that was something.

"don't worry ynnie," jeongin reassures you as he ties his shoe lace while the others wait for him at the entrance. "the company is only 5 minutes away, we wont be far."

"are we just going to wait around here with nothing to do?" lee know asks, leaning back into the couch in their dance room.

"we don't have another option."

and so they do exactly that - wait. but it's not for long.

fifteen minutes into their boredom the first alarm goes off. the motion detectors had been triggered and the bell rings from chan's phone - where the control system had been set up.

"quick, check the camera!"

all eight of them huddle around chan's screen, watching intently at the familiar sight of their living room, eyes scanning for any sign of someone trying to break in.

but it's only you. you're pacing the living room, hands wringing by your side as you keep looking over your shoulder, flinching every time a paper rustles or the curtains move from the wind.

"what's wrong with her?"

felix furrows his brows, looking at the controls on chan's screen to make sure that the motion detector outside their front hasn't been activated. that meant nobody was trying to break in.

"she seems terrified."

"call her."

seungmin wastes no time in dialing your contact, and they watch in unison as you very nearly jump out of your skin when your phone goes off, a hand going to clutch your chest as you collapse into the couch.

"hello?"

your voice sounds normal. they wouldn't have suspected anything if they couldn't see your leg anxiously bouncing.

"is everything okay there?" seungmin asks carefully. he can't giveaway that they're secretly keeping an eye on you.

"uh yeah- yeah sure. everything is fine. why?"

"no reason. I was just taking a break."

"oh."

"alright stay safe. We'll be back in a while."

Seungmin is just about to hang up when you stop him.

"wait!"

for the first time a hysterical note seeps into your voice.

"yes?"

he's met with silence as they notice you pondering over something through the camera.

"yn?"

"nevermind. it's nothing. don't overwork yourself."

chan sighs deeply as he listens to you over the speaker, his fingers tightly gripping the edges of his phone.

you mutter your bye, and they watch you get up, carefully placing your phone on the table.

and then you do what they had been waiting for.

pushing your weight against the couch, you move it directly towards the wall, leaving no gap in between.

another alarm goes off on chan's phone.

then you angle it a bit, the same way they had found it the day before, such that you have a clear view of all entrances to the dorm.

all this while anxiously looking over your shoulder, once even jumping a bit as your foot got stuck on a fold in the carpet. your movements are tense, screaming with urgency, and it's the breaking point for them.

"that's it. we're going back," changbin huffs as he stands up, the other following behind quickly. chan maintains his concentration on the screen.

"she's turning on the t.v," chan informs, slinging his laptop bag over his shoulder and following them out of the building.

the ride back is silent. if their manager picks up on the strange atmosphere he doesn't mention it, and they're grateful to that. lying to their manager would be worse than hiding this from him.

it's only a five minutes drive, but it feels like eternity. when they finally enter the building, running up the stairs, it's eerie how peaceful their apartment looks from the out.

"do we knock or?"

"no. it might scare her."

seungmin pulls out the key from his pocket, trying to be as soft as possible as he unlocks the door, not wanting to startle you with any sudden noise.

"yn?"

chan quickly turns off his phone, stepping through the threshold.

you're sitting exactly where they saw you, some show mindlessly playing on the t.v. your eyes lock in on them as you scramble up.

"you guys are early. it's barely been half an hour."

should they tell you truth? confront you? try to coax it out of you? be subtle about it?

"guys?"

they snap out of their trance, their voices immediately breaking the silence of the dorm.

"yeah! we didn't want to leave you by yourself for long."

"oh."

you take your place on the couch, and raise a brow as they all settle themselves around you too. they don't change or wash up or anything. they just silently occupy any empty space they can find.

it's strange.

"are you guys ok?" you voice, turning off the t.v to look at felix who's sitting beside you.

silence.

they all exchange glances. someone has to bring it up.

"are you okay?" hyunjin finally asks, turning his body to face yours.

"what?"

"yn, please. just answer him."

"no no what do you mean hyune?"

you voice is an octave higher, hands digging into the leather cushion of their couch.

"yn," chan tries to pacify. they hadn't expected this to escalate over a simple question.

"what? why are all of you looking at me like that? i'm fine there's nothing wrong with me."

"yn-"

"stop interfering in things that aren't your business!" you finally snap, cutting felix off as you stand up, turning to face them. "this is none of your business so keep out of it!"

you're breathing heavily and a beat passes in silence.

"yn, what's wrong love?"

chan carefully gets up to put an arm over your shoulder, gently pulling you down to sit. you're trembling and barely half a minute passes before you crumble into chan's shoulder - suddenly - sobs punctuating the silence of the afternoon.

"i'm sorry," you manage between gasps. "i'm so sorry."

even chan look alarmed as he hurriedly tries to calm you down.

"there's nothing to be sorry about, ynnie. please talk to us."

but you can barely talk. you're all but wailing as the other seven huddle around you, their reassurances mixing together.

"i lied. i've been a terrible friend, snapping at you all the time. i'm so sorry it's all my fault."

"yn-"

"nothing is okay. everything is a mess and i don't know what to do."

the leader gently coaxes your face out from where it's nestled in his neck, and rubs a thumb below your waterline, collecting the salt streams streaking down your face.

"ynnie. please calm down, yeah? we want to help. tell us what's wrong."

"i'm- i'm messed up, chan. that's what is wrong."

"don't say that! it's not true."

you break down into another torment of sobs, and they hurry to calm you down.

"it's my head. it's messing with me. something is wrong. i just-," you voice breaks as chan leans to plant a soft kiss against your temple. "-i just don't know what."

"what do you mean?" hyunjin asks softly.

you take your time, elaborating through sobs and broken gasps about your suspected condition. if you had thought they would judge you, you were completely wrong. they listen attentively, comforting you through it.

"i don't want to, but i can't help it," you whisper, leaning into chan's touch. "my brain convinces me that there's always someone hiding just beyond my sight. everytime i speak to someone i'm wired into believing they'll use that information against me somehow, or they'll try to harm me. public events are a nightmare. i don't remember the last time i've been to an award show and felt alright."

"oh yn."

han all but pounces on you and chan, ruffling your hair as hiccups wrack through your figure.

they've never seen you like this. they've never seen anyone like this, in fact.

"it's so loud in my head. it started off small, i didn't even notice when i began thinking or feeling this way. but it just got worse and worse to the point where i've been an absolute pain to all of you - snapping at you, lying to you, fighting with you. i just- i don't know what to do anymore."

"hey hey, listen to me, yeah? this is not your fault. and you haven't been a pain. don't ever think that again," chan reminds you, coaxing you to face him, heart breaking a little at the tears streaking your face.

"but-"

"nope. nuh-uh. no blaming this on yourself."

you chin wobbles as you try to control a fresh onslaught of sobs.

all of them are so understanding you don't even know if you're crying from all the love or the confrontation.

"we'll help you through this, yn. we promise. you don't have to suffer through this alone."

"you don't have to do this. you're all already so busy and-"

"your mental health is a lot more important to us than anything else," felix interjects flatly, rubbing a soothing hand over your back.

"yeah! you've been hiding this for so long and we just want to help you feel better again! no matter what it takes."

you flash a grateful smile to changbin through the tears, earning an encouraging grin from him.

"you're all too nice for your own good. thank you."

"don't worry you can repay us by letting me jump scare you!"

"yah hyunjin do you want to be stuffed into the air fryer?"

it didn't take a genius to figure out who the comment came from as you giggled softly.

it's going to be okay, you think. you know your boys will help you through it, and that itself was the first step of your recovery.

you'll be fine.

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