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prince-rowan-of-the-forest · 1 year

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Mine is a World of Rooftops and Love Songs

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Virgil is invited to a New Years' party and without an excuse not to go he can't turn it down. Who knew that all it takes to make friends is bad punctuality and sensory issues? Honestly, Virgil wished someone had told him sooner.

AKA: Virgil goes to a party, freaks out and ends up on a rooftop with his best friend's brother. Alls well that ends well, I guess?

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| Ao3 |

Warnings:

-Referenced underage drinking.

-A lot of alcohol mentions.

-Referenced sexual content (literally one line)

-Referenced homophobia/transphobia (also just one or two lines)

I think that's it but if you notice anything else please let me know.

Pairings: Prinxiety, referenced Logicality, referenced Dukeceit.

Word Count: 4843

Notes:

Title taken from a quote by Roman Payne

I thought I should make a fic for new years :D

I honestly believe that with enough money and determination teenagers can do anything they set their minds to.

I'm gonna make another post about this in a bit because this became an au as I wrote it so. (Most of what I plan to post is in the end notes on ao3)

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Virgil had been invited to a New Years party.

Usually living right on the outskirts of their little town paired with being standoffish and sometimes outright rude got him out of being invited to get-togethers held by the other people his age. Usually they neglected to invite him to birthdays or conveniently forgot his invitation to homecoming parties or other, stupid, highschool events. Which was great for him, he was way too anxious and antisocial for a party where he’d be expected to drink alcohol and dance weirdly in front of actual real people to shitty music he didn’t even like.

But for some reason, in his senior year, he had been invited to a ‘New Year’s Gathering’. The invitation promised booze galore, fireworks, music, dancing, cocktails, party games, you name it. It seemed to be a huge party, too. He’d heard someone mention that both the seniors and juniors had all been invited and someone had somehow apparently gotten permission to hold the ‘gathering’ in the big old mansion house that had been vacant since the last residents moved out a few years ago on the border of the town and forest, surprisingly close to where Virgil lived.

According to hallway gossip, the party committee (he had no idea who that consisted of, but he assumed it was fellow students) and gotten free roam of the house and it’s grounds for two days, new years eve and the day after. It was already being talked about as the biggest school-wide event in two decades which didn’t make Virgil want to go any more than the glitter soaked invitation had. Which, to be clear, meant that he didn’t want to go one bit.

But then again, his parents had left him home alone over the week of New Years, they had gone to visit some family a few states away to celebrate with them and Virgil had adamantly protested to stay home (He hated how his grandparents poked at him for being gay and his aunts conveniently forgot his was a boy and not a girl despite him reminding them every time he saw them), so they had eventually relented and let him stay by himself. That meant that he wouldn’t be doing anything over New Years, which meant he had no excuse not to go to this party.

And the whole school knew it, because of course they did. Gossip spread like a forest fire in their school, no-one had secrets, not for very long. Not attending without an excuse would be social suicide, especailly for a big event like this. Especially when he’d actually been invited for once.

That’s how Virgil found himself standing outside of the house, wearing a leather jacket (it was the only thing he had that was smarter than his hoodies) ripped jeans and his big platform boots. He’d gone all out on makeup and he looked like something plucked straight from the 2000’s emo era, complimented by the sheer amount of piercings he was wearing. Usually he didn’t wear his snakebites and nose ring in school, the teachers tended to get upset over it. He also chose to wear one of his chokers and another necklace on top of that, as well as a pair of cuff bracelets. He knew he’d overdone the emo look just a little bit, but to be honest, he looked absolutely epic in his opinion and he needed every tiny ounce of confidnce he could get to get through this party. Not to mention, maybe the whole look would scare some people off too.

After taking a few deep, steadying breaths to calm his racing heart, Virgil finally looked up at the house. He was a little late, granted, but he hadn’t quite expected this many bikes (and the occasional car) to be littering the driveway of the mansion house, The lights on the first floor were on, illuminating the grounds with flashing colours and light from nearly every window. Upstairs most of the curtains were drawn and Virgil could almost guarantee that at least one pair were already getting it on in one of the bedrooms- what? This was a mansion house full of seventeen and eighteen year olds with access to too much alcohol. What did you expect to happen? Heaven knows it was probably his- only- friend, Remus and his boyfriend Janus.

Which by extension meant he was likely alone in a sea of teenagers who all either chose to ignore him or hated him. Lovely, brilliant, thanks Remus.

The tired looking girl sat in the front hallway of the mansion checked his invitation (because apparently, despite every youth of age being invited, people sneaking in was still a worry?) and offered to take his jacket. He gave her a look and she shrugged, waving him off.

He followed the helpful but kind of unnecessary signs to the mansion’s banquet hall turned nightclub where the DJ- was that the cool non-binary person from his class?- was blasting music so loudly that the bass shook the floor. They were up front on a makeshift stage with mixers that they’d gotten from who knows where, wearing headphones and mixing vinyl records like this was the eighties. Virgil shrugged, he respected their committment to the aesthetic at least.

There were bright lights, too, the flashing colours and pounding music were already making his head hurt, nevermind the crowd of sweaty teenagers dancing in the centre of the room, most of them talking to their friends or yelling to someone across the hall. A bunch more people lingered around the edges of the space. He could see a bar had been set up using foldable tables behind which two people were haphazardly throwing alcohol together into cocktails without following any real recipe. Virgil suspected that they tasted disgusting and decided to steer away from that table. Cocktails were nice enough, but only when he knew what was going into them so he knew he wouldn’t black out immediately after drinking one. Those things could be dangerous.

There was another table set up with snacks, bags of crisps, chocolate bars, nut packets, some of those mixed fruit bags you could get from McDonalds instead of a Mcflurry or a cookie if you really hated yourself (Virgil had no idea how they’d gotten so many). On one side of the table he could see that they were giving out glow bands and a few of the weird hippie girls- who lived somewhere off in the forest and Virgil was half suspicious that they were actually fae in disguise but that’s irrelevant- were doing facepainting with glow in the dark facepaint if you paid a dollar.

So much was going on at once, on the other side of the snack table there was a giant bowl of punch that you could scoop into a glass that Virgil was certain had already been spiked. Two brothers who’s parents owned the brewery and vineyards on the opposite side of town were selling homemade wine for five dollars a glass, which was a steal even if Virgil wasn’t interested. A lot of people seemed to be either giving out or selling things, which Virgil must have missed on the invite. Maybe that’s why so many people were invited, this wasn’t just a highschool party. A more accurate way to describe it was: imagine a highschool house party, a school faire, a nightclub and the regency aesthetic had a baby together and then that baby was raised by irresponsible teenagers with terrible fashion choices. That’s what this was.

Virgil flinched when someone bumped into him, turning on the intruder to his personal space only to find that they’d already disappeared into the crowd.

He took another deep breath, folding his arms and stuffing his hands under his jacket where his fingers clung to the soft black turtleneck he wore underneath. Hunching over a little in an attempt to make himself smaller and thus hopefully make it easier to avoid people, he started to skulk around the side of the room, looking up at the crowd every now and again but trying to avoid eye contact. He had to find someone that he could ask where the closest exit was, it was so hard to see where he was going in this room with the crowds and lights and so much noise.

The closest table to him happened to be the facepainting, and thank goodness for that because at least the hippie girls seemed to be chill around everyone. He was sure they’d be able to point him to an exit. As he approached- slowly enough that he wouldn’t bump into anyone- one of the girls noticed him and stood up, waving him over.

“Hey!” She said, her curly white hair bobbing with her head as she spoke, her silver framed glasses reflected the light in a rainbow of colours- how interesting- “Are you alright, sweetheart? You look a little frazzled.”

“Yeah- I-” Virgil forced out, trying to explain, he wasn’t even sure if she could hear him over the swelling noise of the party and besides, the words stopped coming out after a second, they wouldn’t go past his throat. His eyes darted around, looking at the encroaching crowd and then back at the girl in front of him. It was too much, everywhere, all at once-

“Hey, hey, look at me, ok?” She said to him, bringing his attention back to her, “May I have your hands?”

Not sure what she wanted, but somehow reassured by her tone, Virgil pulled his hands from their positions curled around his torso and held them out to her. She gripped them with just the right amount of pressure to keep him focused.

“Ok, I’m gonna ask you to try and breath for a second, okay?” She asked, tilting her head a little, Virgil’s eyes followed the slight movement and he nodded, “Okay, in… out… in… and out, you got it! Now keep doing that for me, okay?”

All Virgil could do was nod, as she turned to the friend closest to her, “Hey, Indie, I’ll be right back, kay? Just gonna get this sweetheart somewhere quiet.”

Her friend nodded and gave a one handed thumbs up as she continued to paint some other kid’s face with her other hand. The girl turned back to him with a smile.

“Alrighty, I’m gonna bring you to the kitchen, ok? I was in there earlier and it’s super nice, I’m pretty sure they’re hoarding food there too, but don’t tell anyone,” She said with a wink as she leaned close and whispered the last part to him, she let go of one of his hands but kept hold of the other, “I’m going to keep hold of you so we don’t get separated, okay?”

“Mhm,” Virgil hummed in response and she smiled before beginning to lead him off.

The hallway outside of the banquet hall was just as grand as the rest of the mansion, but so much quieter compared to the main party room. There were still people out here. Smaller groups of friends who had left the room and sat down together in the hallways to chat or play stupid games where they could actually hear eachother talk. The girl lead him past these people and he followed her almost on autopilot after she let go of his hand.

“There is a door straight from the kitchen to the banquet hall,” The girl explained as she lead him along the hallway until eventually they arrived at a large old looking wooden door, “This is the long way round, but I thought it might be better than having to push through all those people.”

“Definitely,” Virgil huffed, his voice quiet, but now that he could breath in cooler air and he wasn’t being bombarded with noise on all sides he found his ability to form coherent sentences coming back to him. The girl pushed open the kitchen door, which creaked as it was opened and Virgil flinched, those hinges really need oiling.

“Hey Buttercup!” She called into the open space, “I’ve got someone for you!”

“Sel?” Someone else called back, before a boy appeared from around the corner wearing round glasses and a cat hoodie. Virgil’s eyes widened slightly because he definitely recognised this guy, his dirty blond hair that seemed to bounce, endless freckles, bright blue eyes that always seemed to sparkle with happiness. He couldn’t remember the guy’s name, but he remembered his face quite well.

He had been in the same class as Virgil in the sixth grade, right when Virgil had first figured out that he might be trans and started trying to change his appearence little by little. The bullying and rumours had really started off when he cut off most of his much longer hair. It was awful (he was eleven years old and didn’t know how to cut hair, give him some credit) and this guy had been the only one in the class to stand up for him and somehow get (almost) everyone to leave him the hell alone. Virgil had never actually talked to him, because he barely talked at all during those few years, but he had appreciated everything this other boy did. He didn’t even know if he would remember Virgil, it had been so long- almost six years- and Virgil’s look had changed a lot in that time.

“Oh! Hi!” He smiled at Virgil, “You’re… sorry I um- I know you changed your name-?”

“Virgil,” He answered with an awkward half smile, it was interesting to note that he was about a foot taller than this guy now, he used to be shorter.

“Right! That’s it, hi Virgil, welcome to the kitchen,” He grinned, “I’m Patton, I don’t know if you remember, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah- um- it has…” Virgil mumbled, rubbing his arm, “Sorry I-”

“It’s ok, I kinda sprung that on you, kiddo, don’t worry!” Patton smiled, “The kitchen’s currently being used as a secret safe space, so feel free to hang around as long as you like! We’re keeping it secret so we don’t get flooded with people coming in here for the hell of it, but we’ve had a few people show up to escape from all the noise,”

“Oh, neat,” Virgil nodded, glancing around.

“Alrighty! Well I better head back, I left Indie in charge of the face painting,” ‘Sel’ told them, her voice chipper. Patton made a face and she laughed, “Have fun boys!”

With that, she darted back out of the door and left them alone, Virgil coughed awkwardly.

“Are- are you two- um?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow and hoping he got the point of his question across to Patton. He looked confused for a second before gasping.

“Oh no!” He laughed, “We aren’t dating, if that’s what you mean, last I heard she was in a poly relationship with a couple of her friends! We just go hiking in the forest together sometimes.”

“Right- I- sorry for assuming,” Virgil mumbled, fiddling with the silver zip on his jacket and looking down, goddamnit why did he even say anything, now he’d just made this whole thing way more awkward than it already was.

“It’s totally fine!” Patton reassured, still smiling, “Don’t worry, oh! Would you like a cupcake? We’ve got a few back here.”

“Um- sure?” Virgil said, narrowing his eyes a little in confusion, Patton just smiled wider and waved him over, around the corner of the kitchen where they had a couple plates of food on the counter. Behind said counter stood someone else Virgil recognised. One of the more popular kids in his grade and also Remus’ brother; Roman.

Although Virgil knew Roman by name and through the many stories Remus had told him, they had never actually interacted in person. Remus tried his best to spend every possible second out of his house, so whenever they hung out it was either at Virgil’s house or the forest or somewhere more public like the park or coffee shop. As a result, Virgil had never actually talked to Roman.

“Hey!” Roman said with a grin, “You’re the emo kid from class C, right? Aren’t you dating my brother?”

If Virgil had been drinking something he would have done a genuine cartoon spit-take. Unfortunately he wasn’t drinking anything so instead he just ended up choking on his own breath.

“No. absolutely not, one-hundred percent nope.” Virgil said, fake gagging once he had recovered, “He’s my friend yes, but he’s also a fucking bastard and I would not date him even it somehow paid for my top surgery.”

“Oh thank god,” Roman sighed in relief, “Him holding the fact that he got a boyfriend before I did over me was getting infuriating. Now I know he was lying.”

“I-” Virgil stopped, “Remus does have a boyfriend.”

“Wait what.”

“Yeah- he’s dating Janus, you know- the guy who’s always wearing that weird bowler hat?” Virgil said, raising an eyebrow. Roman spluttered.

“Goddamnit,” He mumbled, “I can’t believe that asshole actually got a date before I did.”

“Awwee how sad for you,” Virgil said, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Hey! Don’t you make fun of me!” Roman pointed at him, “I bet you don’t have a date either!”

“Well- no- but-” Virgil shook his head, “I’m not whining about it, and I also don’t care. Not having a romantic partner isn’t the be-all-and-end-all, you know.”

“Now kiddos, let’s not be mean to eachother, ok?” Patton called.

“You can talk! Mr. I’m Dating Logan Favian And I’m Gonna Make Sure Everyone Knows It By Making Out With Him In The School Parking Lot,” Roman said, turning his accusing finger on Patton. Virgil couldn’t help but snicker as Patton went beet red and started spluttering.

“That was one time!” Patton yelped, “And only because some girl was hitting on him and wouldn’t take no as an answer!”

“Yass queen protect your mans,” Virgil said with an exaggerated gasp as he flapped his hands around. Roman burst out laughing and Patton just shook his head and turned away with a smile.

“It’s almost midnight,” Patton said, “Are you guys going to come back to the party for the countdown?”

“Probably not,” Virgil said with a shrug, “I didn’t even want to be here in the first place, I definitely don’t want to go back into that room.”

“Yeah I uh- I think I’m gonna stay here too,” Roman shrugged, “I’m not sure I’d be up for standing in a mass of screaming people at the moment.”

“Fair enough,” Patton said, picking up one of the large platters that sat on the counter. On it were hundreds of cheese and pineapple sticks, one of which Roman swiped as Patton went past, “Just- try not to kill each other until I get back, kay?”

“I think I can manage that,” Virgil said, Roman nodded, “Maybe.”

“Huh!?” Roman yelped, “Maybe??”

“Depends how annoying you are,” Virgil said with a smile.

“I bet I could take you,”

“Oh really? Wanna bet?”

“Hey!” Patton called, just as he was about to leave the door, “No. Fighting.”

“Fine,” Both of them said through gritted teeth.

“Cupcake?” Roman asked, gesturing to one of the remaining platters. It only had two cupcakes left on it. Both of them were decorated with pastel pink and purple icing with rainbow sprinkles. What relevance did these even have to New Years? Oh well.

“Sure, why not?” Virgil said after a moment, taking one. Roman grinned and took the other.

“You wanna watch the fireworks?” Roman asked, Virgil turned on him with a glare.

“If I wanted to watch the fireworks I would’ve gone outside to watch them,” Virgil told him, “Fireworks are too loud and so are people,”

“I know somewhere we could go to watch them without anyone around, if you want to?” Roman suggested, leaning forward and wiggling his eyebrows at Virgil.

“Don’t be gross about it,” Virgil groaned, pushing Roman away, “I get enough of that from your brother. Where is this ‘somewhere’ you know?”

“It’s a surprise!” Roman called with a grin, “If you want to see, that is?”

Virgil sighed and shook his head. Well, he didn’t exactly have anything better to do, and watching the fireworks from somewhere peaceful might be nice… “Ok fine, lead the way,”

Roman grinned like a child who’d just been given candy and hurried out of the kitchen. Virgil followed closely behind, back past the banquet hall, around a corner back to the entrance hall, up the half carpeted marble stairs, up another flight of stairs, along a much narrower corridore that seemed to lead right to the back of the house, through a door that both Virgil and Roman had to duck under to get through and up another staircase, this one winding and steep and much less fancy than the main stairways and through another tiny little door at the top.

The room they emerged in was enormous. It must have been the size of the entire house, with no walls or partitions aside from the wall separating them from the staircase and another on the very opposite side of the building that Virgil could barely see. The room would have been pitch black if it werent for the massive dormer windows on each side of the pointed ceiling letting in rays of moonlight. They were in the roof of the house, the attic.

“Are we watching from in here?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow as Roman lead them forward. As he stepped he stirred up dust. It was far too silent up here compared to the blasting music downstairs. Surely they should still be able to hear it? He didn’t want to think about that.

“It’s creepier up here at night,” Roman commented idly, climbing up on top of a large wooden crate that was placed conveniently right in front of one of the windows.

“Oh really? I never would’ve expected that,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes as Roman floundered with the old latchs on the window. They looked old and like they’d rusted over with exposure and disuse, but eventually Roman managed to yank them open and push open one of the windows.

And then he started to climb out of it onto the large sill.

“Oh no, no, absolutely not,” Virgil shook his head, holding up his hands, “I am not climbing up onto the roof of a three story mansion.”

Roman sighed and leaned back in through the window, bracing himself on the frame with one hand while he extended the other to Virgil.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, meeting Virgil’s eyes. Virgil narrowed his own eyes in suspicion.

“Are you trying to do a Disney bit right now? Seriously?” Virgil asked, glaring at him.

Roman laughed, “Sorry! I simply saw the opportunity and had to, but seriously, I won’t let you fall, I promise,”

Virgil hesitated, just for a moment, before climbing up onto the box and reaching to take Roman’s hand in a feat of confidence that he didn’t know he had. Roman grinned the entire time he was helping Virgil climb out of the window and then kept grinning the entire time it took them to scramble up the roof to the wide decorative ridge next to one of the chimney stacks.

“Best view of the house,” Roman told him once they were both sat side by side on the ridge, letting their feet rest against the shingles of the roof. Virgil was comforted, a little, by the fact that the ridge was flat so he could sit comfortably and not worry about sliding off. Not to mention it was wide enough that if Virgil were to lay down backwards only his head and shoulders would fall over the other side. That meant he was pretty safe from falling backwards off the roof.

He still held onto Roman’s arm for good measure, though. No matter how embarrassing that was, he thought it would probably be more embarrassing to fall from the roof.

Roman pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time whilst Virgil looked down at the gathering crowd on the sweeping front lawn. People were pouring from the house now and while he couldn’t pick out individual people from this height in the darkness, he was sure Patton and Sel were both down there somewhere, probably enjoying themselves. It was nice, he thought. Somehow he’d managed to make more friends today than he’d made over his whole six years of highschool. Funny that all he’d needed to do was come to a party half an hour before midnight and immediately shut down because of sensory overload to make friends. Maybe he should’ve tried it sooner.

“Two minutes till midnight!” Roman cheered, though he kept his voice at a reasonable level for the lack of crowd up on the roof. Virgil offered a tentative smile and half hearted fist pump.

“Hurray!” Virgil said, voice pretty much flat, “Another year of torture awaits.”

“No need to be such a downer!” Roman smiled, before glancing at his phone and gasping, “One minute! Oh! Should we kiss?”

“What?” Virgil yelped, “No! I literally met you like twenty minutes ago- what the fuck dude?”

“Woah ok chill I didn’t mean like-” Roman huffed, looking away, “I wasn’t about to like- kiss kiss someone I just met.”

“Then what did you mean,” Virgil said, glaring at him.

“Just like- on the cheek or something! Isn’t it tradition?” Roman asked, face red. Virgil sighed.

“Fine,” He huffed, “Only once, on the cheek.”

“Yes!” Roman cheered, just as the crowd below started counting down from ten. Virgil saw a couple people break from the crowd to head towards where they must have set up the fireworks.

“Five!” Roman yelled, joining in, before elbowing Virgil.

“Four,” They both said together, though one was much more enthusiastic than the other.

“Three!” They cheered, in unison with the crowd.

“Two!”

“One!”

Right on cue, Virgil heard the bells in the nearby church begin to ring for midnight. He turned to Roman who leant forward and kissed his cheek, just like he had asked to. Though both of them turned away, bright red afterwards.

The fireworks were lit and began to fly into the air and burst into bright balls of coloured light with bang after bang, they were beautiful, red, blue, green and gold- and surprisingly high quality for a highschooler’s party. Virgil found that he didn’t mind them so much when he was away from the crowd. Granted the noise was still horrible and he wished to all hell that he’d thought to bring his noise cancelling headphones, but being up here on the roof? Definitely better than being down there on the grass.

The fireworks only lasted for two minutes in reality. For Virgil it felt like a lifetime. Maybe it was because of the noise and light, maybe it was because Roman’s arm has slipped around Virgil’s shoulders, maybe it was because he was still feeling warm and fuzzy from the kiss.

Fireworks in the town were still going off further away, people in their gardens lighting off one after another. The courtyard of the mansion was slowly being covered with a thin veil of smoke and everyone was already going back inside to continue partying. Virgil sighed, content.

“Would you like to go back inside?” Roman asked, “It’s kinda cold out here, isn’t it?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Virgil said with a shrug, “It’s- actually really nice out here- thanks for getting me to come up.”

“You’re welcome!” Roman said, grinning at him from ear to ear once again. For some reason, Virgil felt that same fluttery feeling in his stomach again. Gross.

“Here’s to another year of being forced to exist in a capitalistic world that doesn’t value or care for us little people in the slightest?” Virgil said, offering Roman a fist bump.

“Hear hear,” Roman said, raising a fist to bump his, “But… something tells me that this year is going to be a good one.”

Roman turned to look back out over the town. He still had that dopey smile on his face and for some, terrible reason, Virgil found himself agreeing. Maybe this year really might not be so bad.

As the melody of Auld Lang Syne began playing from downstairs, accompanied by the broken singing of two hundred teenagers who didn’t really know the words nor the meaning of the song, Roman and Virgil looked up at the stars.

And then Roman laughed, laughed at nothing but the stars, free and open and bright as any sun and hey, there was that fluttery feeling again. And by no choice of his own he found himself laughing along with Roman. He didn’t feel judged, or fake or trapped. He was just happy, for once, really happy.

Aw fuck. He had a crush on Roman, didn’t he.

Well… shit.

What a way to start the new year, huh.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #fanfic #ts virgil #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #patton sanders #remus sanders #ts prinxiety #prinxiety #logicality #dukeceit #sanders sides au #new years eve #happy new years!#NewYears verse

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vulgarvixxen · 11 months

Note

cervical penetration with Patton. We need some morality pussy every once in a while.

I tried a different style but it doesn’t translate well on tumblr so check it out on AO3

Tw: non traditional genitalia, mild degrading, biting

There was a reason Patton wanted to be considered the fatherly side but the reason was lost on the dark sides who hadn’t grown up with him, see each side of the Mindscape evolved as Thomas grew in a mirrored way in ways that reflected Thomas’s thinking. As a kid he was told that there needed to be a mommy and a daddy, his mind decided that each half of the mind needed a girl to be the mom. On the light side Patton had originally been formed as “Patty” but she never felt like a girl, when Thomas got older and met more people his ideas and understandings grew too. “Patty” became Patton almost overnight with Logan and Roman being happy to accept their friend for who he is, they even helped him get top surgery when Thomas was in college and was studying biology.

On the dark side of the mind a similar situation occurred with the edgy trio, Virgil had once been called “Melinno” or “Mel” after the Greek poet. He hated being different and he changed his name and wore baggy clothes as soon as Thomas learned what being trans was. It did help that his monstrous(animal) form made him feel manly with his ovipositor. Of course Remus and Janus playfully teased him (at least they thought it was playful, Virgil didn’t get the memo) until he left for the light side. The GG trio never brought up Patton’s transition and Virgil never brought up his own, to their knowledge the other was a CIS man like the rest of the sides.

As Janus and Remus messed with their “rivals” the two remaining sides were hanging out in Pat’s room, casually cuddling and watching a blooper reel from a muppet movie. It was during a video with Kermit and Fazzy that a familiar and hot sensation washes over Virgil, he curses under his breath as he checks his phone’s calendar. His seasonal heat shouldn’t start until the end of the week, what was it doing here so early?! There was no time to go to the imagination and find a cave to hide in for a few days, Patton would be concerned if he just rushed off without explanation too.

“H-hey Pat?”

“Hmm?”

“Imtransandaspidermonsterandmyheatjustcameearlycanwefuck?!”

“Uhhh, Virgy, can you say that again but slower?”

“I’m, um, trans. I also ha-have weird genitalia. My heat cycle came early. C-can I, would you…can I deposit into you? I promise it won’t hurt! They’re all duds anyway!”

After a few beats of silence Patton tosses the bowl of popcorn to a side table and hugs Virgil close.

“Thank you for telling me, I meant to tell you forever ago that I’m a trans man! I’d love to help you out with your problem. And after we can talk to Logie about anything you might want done, he and Roman created a doctor to give me top surgery! Best Father’s Day present ever!”

The amount of information was dizzying…or that could be the hormones fogging up Virgil’s brain, he catches the gist of it and nods. Next thing he remembers is kissing, Patton kissing him breathless as they both groped and grinded with a feverish need. Pat pulls off his shirt easily and then starts on Virgil’s, revealed is the pink and purple galaxy binder,

“That’s so pretty, mine was real with palm leaves. Well…it was more of a sports bra than a binder, it was always too constricting for my taste.”

He tosses away the shirt and helps Virgil out of his binder, the emo is too horny to be bothered by his body being so not masculine. The skin looks irritated so Patton is sure to be gentle when he roams his hands down Virgil’s sides, the poor thing whimpering in need and relief.

“Pat, pl-please, need to be in you so bad!”

“Shhh, soon. Let’s get rid of some more clothing and then you can have me.”

Khakis are flung over to the rest of the clothing pile, boxers a second later, the zipper to skinny jeans followed after some shimmying. “Aww, your boxers match!”

“Patton!”

The galaxy boxers get tugged off and Virgil sighs in relief as Patton gasps in joy, Virgil’s ovipositor was thick and glistening as it waited for a warm place to be buried into. It twitches when a curious hand strokes it causing Virgil to moan, low and animalistic. In a split second decision Patton hops on top of Virgil, sinking down part way before stopping. The natural elasticity of frogs let him stretch around the girth without a problem, the combination of their slick making it even easier as he rose and sank at a quick pace.

“Fuck, fuck, you whore, should have been fucking you for years! You take me better than even Remus and he’s a good slut.” Virgil growls out, hands on Patton’s hips to pull him down with a harsher snap. The mild insult makes Patton unexpectedly more wet, “You like being my whore? Good, then you should know whores stay on their backs!”

With a movement so fast that it should have left them dizzy, Virgil flips their positions, he pounds into Patton at an unrelenting speed until he gets to resistance. “Shit, bet no one has ever fucked you this deep, huh whore. Don’t worry we’ll get used to it soon.” He pushes against the muscles blocking him from his goal for a short time then stops, the process repeats as Patton struggles to figure out if this is painful or pleasing. Just as he thinks that he’s going to have to tap out the pressure inside him gives and Virgil is inside his womb!

“Virgil! Fuck me, breed me, I’m your little whore! Please please, pretty please breed me!” The others could probably hear him but the thought didn’t cross his mind, actually the only thing he can think of is how knows that the pressure he wasn’t sure about is definitely pleasure. His heart jumps into his throat as he feels Virgil’s thumb circle his clitoris, a thrilled croak leaves his mouth followed by a breathy moan. Teeth are on his throat a second later, sucking and biting marking as Virgil plays with him. So much is happening that Patton cums without a chance to say anything.

Virgil bites him hard as he climaxes, “Now you can take all of them.” He purrs into Patton’s ear, venom making the other lax and pliable. The last few inches of his ovipositor pushes in and Patton whimpers, “Oh honey, it’s only going to get better. You’re going to feel so full soon, whore, and then we can have fun pushing them all out.” It sounds like a threat from a predator but it’s really a promise of my pleasure. Patton moans as he feels the first egg press through the ovi and deposit inside his womb, Virgil grins and nuzzles the bite mark.

Half an hour later Patton is the size of a beach ball and Virgil is cooing at the image, “Virgie, c-can you take pictures? I want to remember this for forever.” He can’t see which phone Virgil is using but he hears the click of the camera app. Patton actually liked this, he had always thought that being trans meant that he had to hate everything that came with what body he was made with but maybe he could indulge and still be dad.

#mayternity #not safe for sanders #minors dni #nsfs virgil #nsfs patton #cervical penetration #trans Patton #trans Virgil

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starshard17 · 2 years

Text

For @rose-coloured-prince

Some Prinxiety Kisses and Cuddles ❤️

Virgil was nestled comfortably in Roman's arms. It became a daily thing that they did. After a long day of getting work done for Thomas it was nice to kick back and relax. Sometimes, it was even better in the presence of somebody else.

Virgil laughed as he felt gentle kisses being pressed to his head.

"Hey!" Virgil spoke, turning up to face Roman, a mix of a glare and a smirk on his face.

"Something wrong Emo nightmare?" Roman asked, rubbing Virgil's hips with his palms.

"You can't just pull the kisses out of nowhere Princey. You've gotta give me fair warning first!" Virgil said, gently flicking Roman's cheek.

He laughed.

"My bad..." Roman muttered.

"Fair warning. I want to kiss you right now." Roman whispered. Virgil's pale cheeks flushed.

With zero hesitation Roman leaned in close, pressing a sweet, loving kiss to Virgil's lips.

As much as Virgil wanted to protest against it he couldn't. How could he? He melted into it, his hands moving to cup Roman's cheeks.

They would pull away and take short breaths, sharing sweet words and soft kisses.

Once Virgil grew tired of all the kissing he pressed his head to Roman's neck, resting one hand against Roman's chest.

The princely side rested his hand on top of Virgil's and they locked their fingers together, holding tight.

"Was that warning good enough for you?" Roman asked, his other hand wrapped around Virgil's side and effectively pulling him closer. Virgil let out a laugh, gripping his hand a bit tighter.

"Yea... it was perfect." Virgil mumbled against Roman's neck. His breath was warm and his words were spoken with such sincerity it made Roman grin.

"Do I have to warn you every time I wish to be graced with your sweet lips?" Roman pondered, moving his hand from Virgil's side to stroke his cheek with his thumb. The emo snorted.

He then tore his hand away from Roman's grasp, touching his fingertips to Roman's velvety skin.

"Maybe only a couple times. I doubt I'll need a warning every single time, Romeo." Virgil answered. Roman smiled.

Once again the two drew closer, pressing quick yet loving kisses to one another's lips.

Roman tasted sweet, like a warm fruit... cherries or apples... it was a familiar taste. One you could yearn for for days on end.

Virgil tasted a bit more salty, like salted caramel... a delicacy when paired with the right fruit.

Despite being two different flavors they created a lovely blend, and that's what was special about them. They were so different yet they were so lovely paired together.

They were in love.

Virgil pushed his hand through Roman's dark brown locks and held the back of the Prince's head, pulling him closer. Roman copied him, placing his hands firmly on Virgil's lower back. They closed the space between each other. Got as close as they could if only to eat each other alive.

Their bond was like nothing else. It was something they wished to never be broken. They kissed and they held tightly to one another, refusing to let go as if doing so could cause the other to disappear forever.

They drowned out the world, drowned out its sounds. Nothing else existed but the two of them, and they were content with that.

Soon enough, all too soon even, Roman pulled away. Their breath was heavy and their cheeks were flushed and warm.

"What would you do if one day I disappeared..." Virgil muttered against his lover's lips. Roman pressed his forehead to Virgil's and the two of them shut their eyes.

"I haven't thought about it, because I hope that day never comes around..." Roman responded.

They shared one more kiss.

"Keep a close eye on me then, Prince Charming... in case I choose to run away." Virgil spoke with a soft laugh. Roman laughed as well, holding Virgil's body flush against his own.

"I'll never let you go..." Roman muttered. Virgil rested his arms around the princely figure's shoulders.

"Good."

#moonblade writing #sanders sides #ts roman #ts virgil #prinxiety

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vash-the-trans-catboy · 2 years

Text

Center of the Earth or Die Trying

Summary: Logan is willing to do anything to accomplish his life work or when you become so invested in your work that it kills you

TWs: Major character death, insanity, panicking, mad hatters disease

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @xoaningout @lily-janus @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious @parksthefrog @randomacnhfan @anxiousasexual @jervis-tetchs-wife (ask if you want to be added)

Word count: 2038

Ao3

“Logan calling from Logan Incorporated, report to work immediately. This is urgent! Hurry up now.”

Virgil snuggled closer to Roman’s chest, trying to ignore their answering machine. He was not going to let their boss ruin his precious time for sleep.

Barely even 5 minutes later, Logan called again. Despite every brain cell telling Roman to ignore it again, he rolled over while cursing under his breath and reached for the house phone. “What?” He growled at the phone. Three am was not the time for being polite on a call.

“Yes, hello. This is Logan from…..”

Virgil snatched the phone away from Roman before Logan had the chance to finish his introduction, “Stop it! We fucking know you are, Logan. Unless you cracked time travel or some shit like that, there better be a damn good reason to call at this horrible hour.”

“I figured out the secret to underground travel through the center of the Earth. Report to the laboratory immediately as I previously said in the phone call you two so rudely ignored the first time.”

“WHO ANSWERS THE PHONE AT…. Ow bitch.” Virgil mumbled under his breath as Roman smacked him with a pillow and grabbed the phone.

“As I was saying, come now. I’ll be waiting.” Virgil tackled Roman for the phone, tossing it across the room to hang it up.

“Fuck this job, I’m going back to sleep.”

“Come on, my emo. We have to make sure the boss man isn’t endangering himself with his so-called science experiments, again.” Roman rolled out of bed, dragging Virgil with him.

………

“Ah! You two finally arrived.” Logan’s hair was not brushed and was a complete mess. He looked like he hasn’t slept in at least four days. Virgil and Roman could not figure out why but something about Logan did not seem right.

They both started their employment at Logan Incorporated six years ago, working directly under the brilliant scientist and their best friend, Logan Sanders. Virgil and Roman met Logan during their undergrad in college. They became protect of Logan very quickly. Logan was a brilliant man but his mind could get ahead him of sometimes. Virgil and Roman were there to rain him in but that didn’t always work.

Logan’s eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets, bloodshot red veins dragged across his bright white sclera. His left eye twitched as his hands shook. His pupils darted back and forth, paranoia filled the back of his brain.

“Why did you call us?” Virgil asked bluntly as always.

“Because… SCIENCE!” Logan said with excitement.

Virgil glared deep into Logan’s eyes, he became even more twitchy and anxious from the stare, “Elaborate or we leave.” Virgil continued to keep his eye contact but he took note of how Logan was acting uncharacteristically weird.

“I have finally, at long last cracked the secret to..”

“TIME TRAVEL!” Roman yelled in anticipation.

“Don’t be stupid, Roman. Time travel is simply impossible until I figure it out. Of course, I the great scientist Logan will eventually figure that out. But alas, the day has not been today. My lifelong project has finally made the most significant breakthrough ever…” Logan waited for excited gasps or any type of reaction. He received nothing but a tired death stare from Virgil and an excited yet worried stare from Roman, “Anyway, back to MY greatest invention ever!” He pushed a button to reveal the project he spent 15 years to date working on. A door opened to reveal a baked potato wrapped in foil on top of a table.

“Did you call us here to show us a fucking potato?” Virgil sighed, wondering why he agreed to work for Logan.

Logan looked at the potato then back at his control panel, “Shit, wrong button. That’s my dinner. Or possibly breakfast or lunch. I have no clue what time or day of the week it is. I haven’t left my lab in a few days. Is the sun still doing that thing called ummmm oh yeah rising and setting? We are getting quite off track! Back to the potato. NO! No, I mean my newest invention. Why would we still be talking about potatoes? Moving on. Now, behold the device that will change all of mankind. Or shall I say peoplekind since I want to change the lives of all people, including women and nonbinaries of the world!”

Logan pressed a second button. This time opening a large garage-style door that revealed a gigantic drill-like machine. The drill bit was at least 40 feet across and sharp enough to pierce the cold hard grow. “Bestow your eyes upon my life’s work: the potato. Damn it! That’s stuck in my head. This is the drill of all drills. With this, we will plow straight through the Earth right to the other side of the world. They all said it was impossible but I proved them all wrong!” Logan laughed hysterically on the borderline of a supervillain cackle.

Virgil rolled his eyes and pulled Roman closer to whisper in his ear, “Logan has officially lost his mind. I guess our job is trying to reel Logan in, not being his tech assistants anymore.”

Logan pressed a random series of buttons and the machine sprang into life. “Now! What everyone here has been waiting for. This is the moment that will change our lives and as a matter of fact, the WHOLE world!”

“Should we stop him, yet?” Virgil asked.

“I want to see how far he is willing to go with this.” Roman lightly chuckled.

“Job assignments. All of us still need job assignments. Virgil will be on the control panel in the laboratory. Roman will be dealing with the system overload controls. And I will have the most important job that will go down in infamy. I will be driving the drill through the center of Earth. Once I reach the other side of the world, they all will celebrate ME. Prepare on a day very soon everyone will be gathered around to celebrate me, my life, and my work!” The lights flicked on and off. Logan flinched, shielding his eyes in pain. His eyes temporarily glossed over with a confused gaze, “What was I talking about? Oh, yeah! POTATOES! Shit. That definitely was not it.”

Logan looked at Virgil, then Roman, then finally at his larger-than-life piece of machinery, “Ah, yes. I will be the first person ever to travel underground from New York City to Tokyo!” As his newest invention powered up, Logan grabbed three headsets and a heatproof suit. He slipped the suit over his lab coat and tossed his assistants their headsets, “You two will be my eyes and guides on their journey. Although I’m clearly the leading man on his scientific discovery, I will make sure you two get your fair amount of credit.” Logan coughed and mumbled under his breath, “In the footnotes.”

As Virgil and Roman set up the headsets, Logan climbed into the driver seat of his drill. “This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea.” Virgil shook his head as he programmed the floor of the laboratory to open, revealing the dirt underneath.

“Testing. Testing. Earth to Logan. Can you hear us?” Roman tapped on the microphone.

“Loud and clear.” Logan and his machine disappeared deep into the ground without another word.

“Temperature gauge is still normal. Systems are all functioning. We are good to go.” The supercomputer lit up with a map of Logan’s current position as well as the path he planned to take. Even though Logan was tethering on the edge of insanity, Roman had to admire the amount of work Logan put into his projects.

Logan turned on the turbo boosters and headed full speed into the Earth. The temperature gauge Roman was monitoring slowly started to creep to the red zone.

“Why are we letting Logan do this?” Virgil huffed as he pressed a few more buttons.

“Like we could ever convince Logan not to do something. That has worked so many times in the past.” Roman said with a laugh.

“We should have him turn back. He didn’t look like himself today.” Virgil’s mind recalled what was off with Logan a few minutes ago. “His eyes were bloodshot, he was twitching and shaking, avoiding eye contact, jumping at the slightest of noise, and looked like he doesn’t even know what the word sleep means. These experiments aren’t going to end well one day and we are gonna be responsible to clean up his mess.”

Virgil’s searched the room for an explanation of why Logan was acting the way he was. His eyes landed on broken viles spilling mercury across the lab.

Roman sighed, “I know but Logan would never listen to us anyway.” His eyes glanced back at the temperature gauge, “Uh-oh. That’s not good.”

Roman turns on his microphone, “Logan. Can you hear me?”

“I’m nearly there. I’m nearly there. I’m nearly…” Logan repeated that phrase over and over again. He sounded like he was stuck in a trance.

“You need to turn around now! The temperature is getting way too hot. Your machine is overheating!” Roman yelled into the headset. Virgil rapidly tried to enable the machine’s autopilot but Logan disabled it.

“Logan let me override the system! Give me the control.” Tears streamed down Virgil’s cheek. He had a feeling about where this was going.

“NO. I’M SO CLOSE. WE ARE NOT STOPPING NOW.” Logan ignored the smoldering heat and the yelling of his assistants. His logic and rationality were nowhere to be seen.

Roman typed in the code to override Logan’s directions and try to turn him around. The system flashed red, a warning of the danger Logan was in.

SYSTEM FAILURE. SYSTEM FAILURE. SYSTEM FAILURE. SYSTEM FAILURE.

Right lights swirled around the lab and a blaring alarm sounded. The room filled with panic from both Virgil and Roman.

“I see the center of the Earth. I’m so close!” Sweat dripped down Logan’s face. The drill melted and started to power down.

“Please turn around. You have made it further than anyone else. Don’t let this experiment consume you and take your life.” Virgil cried out, hoping to strike some common sense in Logan.

“The world will celebrate me when I’m…” Logan’s voice cut out as all the computers crashed.

“LOGAN! ANSWER US IF YOU ARE ALIVE.” Roman screamed at the broken computer. He knew Logan was never coming back but part of him still hoped for the best.

Virgil’s lip trembled and he collapsed into Roman’s arms.

………

One week later, Virgil and Roman held a memorial service in Logan’s laboratory. It was a very small service. Logan never had many friends, he pushed away his family, and never had a partner. He only ever had his co-workers, acquaintances, and his assistants. Logan would never admit it but Virgil and Roman were his only friends.

The week after Logan died was the hardest on Virgil and Roman, since they worked closely with Logan for many years. They spent the last week cleaning the lab and finding a safe way to dispose of the mercury. But with crying, lots of crying. Most of the past week Virgil and Roman refused to leave each other’s arms from the fear of losing another friend.

A picture of Logan was hung on the wall with blue flowers surrounding it.

Five people gather to mourn the brilliant scientist Logan Sanders. A man in a gold and yellow suit with scars across his face kept his head low. Tears rolled down a freckled face with round glasses. The third man’s mustache formed a frown over his face.

Roman held Virgil tightly, “We gather here today to celebrate Logan, his life, and his work. Logan was the smartest man I ever had the pleasure of working for. He is now officially the first person to go that deep into the Earth. I hope wherever he is now, that gives him some joy. Goodbye Logan. You will be missed.”

Virgil pressed the button to close the hole in the floor to symbolize burying Logan. As the metal floor closed the five men hugged each other tightly while letting their tears fall.

#logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts logan #ts roman #ts virgil #prinxiety #ts fics #thegayemo writing

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3ternalslumber · 2 years

Text

4 Times the Sides had Feelings for Roman and 0 Times He had Feelings for Anyone

TW: Roman centric hurt/no comfort, one (1) mention of non-harmful scratching from Virgil

Masterpost

It wasn’t his fault! Okay, so part of it was his fault. He didn’t start it though! After all, no one could force themselves to fall in love. Trust him, he tried.

Patton should’ve been the easiest to fall in love with; he’s sweet, he’s funny, and they got along with nearly no bumps in the road. He made himself pay attention to his laugh, the way his eyes crinkled with amusement when the others announced their disdain for his dad jokes. He even took Patton’s hand, kissed it, and swung their arms gently between them. Patton had smiled, eyes almost twinkling, and his body shifted closer. Roman felt something. A warmth flared in his chest, a smile forcing itself onto his face whenever he thought of the puffball. But his stomach didn’t fill up with butterflies and his face didn’t get hot. And when Patton confessed his feelings, Roman’s smile wavered; a boulder weighing down in his stomach. Roman rubbed the back of Patton’s hand with his thumb.

“I’m sorry,” he frowned. “I’m sorry, Patton.”

And he was. Nausea climbed up his throat, choking him with it’s invisible vines.

Patton’s eyes dropped. “Oh. Okay..” He gently took back his hand. “It’s okay, I get it. We’re still friends, though, right?”

He was nodding before Patton had finished the question. “Of course, padre! I just.. unfortunately, I…” I want to love you. I want to love you romantically. I’m sorry I can’t be that for you.

Swaying slightly, Patton took a few steps back. “I’ve got work in a few hours, I should.. I better go,” he smiled almost as bright as before. Roman would’ve believed it if not for the shine of his eyes.

“Patton, I—“ but, like dandelion seeds blowing in the wind, he was gone.

Next was, surprisingly enough, Virgil. He and Virgil hadn’t gotten along at first, despite Virgil being a fashion major in college. Their aesthetics — and personalities — had clashed, but after time and much persistence from Patton, they began to tolerate each other and became very close friends. They still had plenty of banter. Banter is one thing that Roman never had with Patton, and everyone knows that teasing banter is a Must™. So he doubled the flirty comments and stood closely to the emo, giving him the gayest of eyes. Virgil made him feel something that Patton hadn’t; Virgil made him feel something akin to adrenaline, as if he were trekking through the woods at 3am or hanging out in an empty parking lot with his friends. His stomach did fill with something this time, but he wouldn’t describe it as “butterflies”. It was more of a demand to hold him, the feeling amplified by a thousand after their friend group discovered that Virgil was rather clingy. Maybe this was it, he reasoned with himself, maybe these are what the butterflies are, the need to hold what you love close to your heart.

The two were cuddling on the couch, Virgil half on Roman’s lap, a leg thrown over one of Roman’s. Virgil was tucked under Roman’s arm, looking up at him with some difficulty.

“Ilikeyou.”

Roman refused to look at him, eyebrows furrowed. He tensed. “I’m sorry?”

Virgil worried his bottom lip. “I like you. In a romantic way. I have a for a while now and I just wanted to let you know, you don’t have to like me back or anything! I mean, I hope you like me but it doesn’t have to be romantically, y’know?”

“Virgil,” Roman huffed softly, pressing his lips to Virgil’s forehead, and ignored the dread coating his insides. “I wish I did. You are a great person and— and I love you, but I don’t .. I don’t have romantic feelings for you. I’m sorry..”

His friend visibly swallowed and removed himself from Roman’s embrace, planting himself a few feet away. “Yeah, I.. I didn’t think you would, heh.” Virgil scratched the back of hand lightly, bringing his thoughts back down to the feeling of his nails. “Sorry, we can.. we can go back to what we were doing.”

Roman glanced around the room, his side feeling too cold all of a sudden. He opened his mouth to say something, anything.

“It’s fine, Roman. Drop it.”

So he did.

Logan was difficult to try to love at first, what with Logan denying a lot of his feelings and such. But doing so made Roman realize just how much he hadn’t noticed about their resident nerd. For example, Roman found that Logan had three prominent smiles. The first smile came through as amusement, seen most often with his lips pressed together, as to not laugh at a dad joke or something silly one of the twins did. The second was whenever someone referenced or used information Logan taught them. His lips would twitch up, and he’d give a proud little wiggle, usually finding something to cover his mouth with. Roman couldn’t understand why Logan would cover up such a gorgeous smile, but insecurities get the best of us. The third, and final smile, was whenever he’d actively rant about a subject he’s passionate about. The fastest way to an actor’s heart is through passion. That’s what Roman liked to think, anyways. The passionate smile could light a whole room, and when Logan grins, Roman could melt. He was absolutely sure he loved Logan. However, they fought. They fought a lot; almost every conversation had some sort of bickering, but Roman ignored that. Bickering and arguing is normal — healthy, even!

So when Logan asked him out, he ignored the anxiety prickling his spine and agreed.

Unfortunately, with their first date never given an exact time and place, it never ended up happening. The two were stuck in limbo, forever fated to dance around each other. Don’t get him wrong, Logan had tried but Roman always came up with excuses to back out of the date — “Sorry, Aunt Patty is sick, I have to take care of her.” “My work shift is that time.” and even “I haven’t done laundry in two weeks.”

“I’m tired of this, Roman.”

“Tired?” Roman echoed, unclenching his jaw forcefully. “Whatever do you mean, Professor Indigo?”

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, knocking his glasses askew. “This. You agreed to go on a date with me but every time I come with a place and time, there’s always a reason not to. I’ve tried to compromise and have you pick or we both decide, but I’m getting nothing from you. Realistically, relationships are much like friendships. I cannot be the only one putting any effort into maintaining ours. So, I’m calling us off.”

Roman pushed his hands in his pockets, nails digging into his palms. “Calling… us off?”

“Yes,” Logan pushed his glasses up, clasping his hands together in front of him. “We are no longer considered to be in a relationship. I’m open to continue our friendship, however, if you would like.”

“I uh..” a thousand thorns scraped Roman’s tongue. He smiled, “I’d like that.”

He nodded with pursed lips. “Excellent.”

He thought he could love Janus because.. well, how could he not love a fellow theatre geek? Especially one who compliments him daily. Plus, he was very cute. Roman was charmed the moment he met him. It was like love at first sight! I mean, sure, they had a monumental fight soon after they met, but they’d resolved that! And not a moment too soon, either, for that’s when Roman discovered that he and Janus shared a few favourite musicals. They weren’t that close, Roman will admit, but it’s not their fault they’d get so excited and talk about mainly musicals and theatre every time they talked! And Janus.. oh, Janus was the biggest supporter of Roman’s theatre performances. This must be it, Roman had thought, making eye contact with Janus as he made his final bows. Janus was on his feet — like he always was — and grinning broadly, a far cry from his usual sly smirk. Roman wasn’t sure he could breathe any air into his lungs due to his chest filled with so much appreciation and gratefulness and excitement and happiness and.. this. This must be what love feels like. Tears collected in his eyes as he ran to his friends after the show, tackling Janus in a big hug.

It was the following day that Janus confessed, that he’d asked Roman out, and that Roman said yes.

The two dated for a whole month, Janus acting as he usually does but with more physical affection, and Roman? Well, Roman had convinced himself he was in love. He followed Janus around everywhere, and he would hardly not be in close contact with him, one way or another. The two were inseparable, if begrudgingly from one side. Well, they were inseparable, until Janus decided enough was enough.

Perhaps, Roman thought, if he hadn’t been so blind, so obsessed with finding romantic love, he might’ve realized sooner just how much he was hurting his friends.

So he sat alone, in his room, in their shared house. He sat alone, one of Virgil’s spare weighted blankets draped over his shoulders. He sat alone, waiting for the stale air to suffocate him.

He hadn’t been out of his room in several days, save to go to work. He was lucky the rooms each had their own bathroom. He was also lucky — or unlucky — that Virgil slept during the day due to night shifts and everybody else was either out or thought he was out all day. After all, why would the most boisterous, ‘take-all-the-risks’ of the bunch lock himself inside?

He wasn’t quite sure, either. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe he felt guilty for leading his friends on — the fact that every single one of them had fallen for him, or at least had developed a crush on him, when he was just trying to fulfill his own selfish desires. Maybe it was pity. Maybe he felt so damn pitiful for himself; imagine that, a hopeless romantic doomed to live without romantic love. Sure, there were always queer platonic relationships to consider, but it wasn’t the same, not really. He wanted to experience the romantic feelings, he wanted the butterflies, the flusters, the wooing. He wanted to drown in the passion they flooded him with. He didn’t want a romantic relationship. He could pine for all eternity, for all he cared. He just wanted to experience romantic attraction.

But he doesn’t. But he can’t.

So he sits alone. All alone in his room, with Virgil’s blanket, away from his friends. The friends he wanted to love so badly, it physically hurt.

He just wanted to love somebody.

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the18thmeatball · 3 years

Text

‘You’re not like him you know, I’ve never been scared of you’

Art by @sidespart

Description: After Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts Virgil goes to find Roman.

Warnings: It gets a bit shippy at the end so if you don’t like that stop reading when you get to the dashed line. Slight Logicality mention, and mentions Roman’s wound offhandedly exactly once. Very fluffy.

Story:

“Because I was one of them.”

The shocked look Thomas had was enough to fuel Virgil’s nightmares for weeks. But enough of that, he onew what he had to do. Find Roman.

After a while of walking through the mindscape and questioning Logan and Patton (who seemed to have enough problems already) he saw the door to Roman’s room slightly ajar.

It hadn’t been like that before so he cautiously peaked inside. Nothing could have ever prepared Virgil for the sight in front of him. Roman was just sitting there. On the edge of his bed. Unmoving.

Virgil had never seen him like this, stoic, sad, angry, still. It was an entirely new side of him that Virgil didn’t know how to feel about. He quietly asked if it was okay for him to come in, and Roman slowly nodded.

It was quiet for a while until Roman whispered “Why did you come here?”

Virgil was a bit taken aback by the calm manner of Roman’s words and nonetheless answered “I wanted to check in on you, you didn’t seem to like today’s...” Virgil paused, looking at the floor beneath himself. “Today’s visit.”

Roman softly chuckled, completely devoid of humor. “That’s quite a bit of an understatement, emo.”

“Roman.”

The prince sighed, “Sorry, I just don’t know what to do. I never thought I’d have to see him again.”

Virgil felt the guilt in the pit of his stomach rise. “I’m sorry. I thought I could keep him back. I thought I could fight them both off.” Virgil looked up, tears pooling in his eyes. “I guess I’m just not-“

“Don’t.” Roman spoke up, sounding a bit angry. Virgil’s breath hitched in his throat. “Don’t say that about yourself. You tried your best, we all know that. You shouldn’t hold yourself to these impossible standards.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“I’m being serious, Virgil.”

“So am I! Roman,” Virgil slowly reached out for Roman’s hand. When did I get in front of him? “You’re smart, funny, kind, honest, and, creative. I mean you are creativity so I guess that makes sense,”

Looking at Roman’s face, realizing what he had said, Virgil sat down next to him. “Roman, look at me. You’re not like him you know, I’ve never been scared of you.” Roman had an indescribable expression on his face as he broke eye-contact with Virgil.

Virgil watched as the man in front of him broke. He started crying, then he was sobbing, with his head in his hands. Virgil got behind him and slowly wrapped his arms around him.

They sat like this for a while, a distorted, comfortable silence. Finally Roman spoke “Thank you.”

Confused, Virgil got back beside him, they turned to face each other and he asked “For what?”

Roman smiled, that intoxicating, innocent, bright, easy, smile that never failed to make Virgil feel those familiar butterflies. “For telling me what I needed to hear. For being with me. For making me feel better.”

It was Virgil’s turn to cry, and Roman held him, all throughout the night. They stayed with each other, on Roman’s bed. When Virgil woke up, his face turned crimson realizing where he was. He got up and went to his room, seeing Logan tending to Roman’s wound.

After a while of thinking about the night before, Virgil went downstairs. Looking in the kitchen, he saw Patton smiling as he cleaned up after breakfast. “What are you thinking about, pops?” Virgil asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Oh! I didn’t notice you come in. Logan and I talked about some stuff last night and uhm...” Patton trailed off, smiling impossibly wide. “He cuddled with me!”

Slightly shocked, Virgil smiled, “That’s great, Pat!”

Virgil started helping Patton clean up, and when they finished he saw Roman standing by the entrance.

In the middle of Patton’s story Virgil became distracted and only became aware when Patton pushed him towards Roman.

“Hey, Iw as wondering if we could go talk?” Roman said uncharacteristically nervously.

“Uh, yeah.” Virgil turned to Patton about to apologize but saw that Logan had already pulled him aside.

“Let’s go.” He turned back to Roman. They walked up to Roman’s room. Which had been turned into spitting image of graveyard from Nightmare Before Christmas.

Roman led Virgil to the too of the hill, and took his hands in his own.

“Virgil, I know we’ve had our differences, and maybe this isn’t the best way to go about it, but I need you to know something.”

Virgil looked in Roman’s eyes skeptically.

“I’ve felt this way for a while but last night brought it out in me.”

Realizing what was about to happen, Virgil out a finger over Roman’s mouth. “Before you continue, let me say something.”

Roman looked more terrified than Virgil had ever seen.

“I don’t think of you the way you think I do. I think I love you. But not in the way I love Logan and Patton. But not exactly that way Gomez loves Morticia, but in the most confusing way ever. It’s not platonic, but it’s not... sexual either. I want to hold your hand, I want to kiss you, but I don’t want to, you know,” Virgil looked back up to Roman’s eyes, and saw him nod.

“So, you’re asexual?” Roman half asked. Virgil nodded.

“I know this probably changes things for you, so I’ll leave you to make your decision.” Virgil started to walk away when he felt a hand on his wrist. Roman turned him around.

“Virgil, that doesn’t change anything for me. I love you, I don’t see you as an object.”

Roman pulled him closer. With a hand on Virgil’s cheek and one on his waist, he smirked down at him.

“As for that kiss, if it’s alright with you,” Virgil nodded slowly. Their lips connected in a sweet, soft, loving kiss. The kind of kiss that practically knocks you out in a way. There were no sparks, no fireworks, no brightly colored decorations, just a homely feeling.

They sat on the hill, talking about what exactly this meant for them. They decided they would go on dates, and if that went well, they would pursue a proper romantic relationship.

#prinxiety #prinxiety fic #prinxiety kisses #virgil #roman #slight logicality #my writing

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i-am-bella-donna · 3 years

Text

A Truth Amidst the Lies

AO3

Story Summary:

If there was one thing Remus had learned from Janus, it was that all good stories had a bit of truth amidst the lies.

The daydream about Nico he made for Thomas was no exception.

"If you don't get rid of me…I'm gonna get rid of you."

Pairings: Platonic Dukexiety

Word Count: 2,104

CONTENT WARNINGS: ARGUING, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, THREATS

A/N: This was inspired by Remus's illusion of Nico in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts.

~~~

“Virgil?”

Virgil froze like a deer in the headlights of an eighteen-wheeler flying down an icy road. His silhouette was so dark it was barely visible, even against the faint white glow of the door before him. Odd—Virgil had to have passed the light switch on his way into the room. Why was he standing alone in the pitch-black silence?

There was a quick flash of motion, but before Remus could think too much of it, Virgil swallowed audibly and began to turn around, moving so slowly it was almost comical.

Almost.

His actions were cumbersome, as though he was walking through a sea of viscous blood. As though he was holding himself stiffly to prevent himself from trembling.

As though he was afraid.

Afraid…of Remus?

No. Don’t think about that.

Remus swallowed hard, shoving the thought down like a head underwater. He imagined drowning it; holding it in place until no more bubbles and frantic whispers could escape its lips; until the splashing and flailing stopped. Until it could do no more damage. Janus and Virgil had been helping him learn to control his thoughts, and he was finally getting better at it— rationalization, Jay had called it.

Besides, now that he was thinking logically, it made much less sense. What reason would Virgil have to be afraid of him?

“Remus,” Virgil finally replied, breaking the awkward silence. “I—why are you still awake?”

His voice held an unfamiliar quality—an odd note that, under any other circumstances, would immediately have Remus on high alert. Nevertheless, Remus was already aching from hours of tossing and turning; reeling from the mental images plaguing his imagination—not the fun type of mental images, either—so he shrugged off the tone, assuming that Virgil was simply as angsty and tired as he was. It would not be the first time.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out!” Remus cheered, hopefully sounding more enthusiastic than he felt. He rubbed at his eyes, realizing a moment too late that he was probably smearing his eyeshadow in the process. Unless he had remembered to take it off before bed—but no, that was about as likely as Roman giving him a hug.

Shaking off that train of thought before it could derail and crash and burn, Remus shot Virgil a weary grin. “And I could ask you the same thing!” he added. “What’re you doing up so late, Emo? Battling the brain demons?”

From the way that his silhouette shifted, Remus assumed that Virgil was now crossing his arms. Probably also burning holes into Remus’s skull with his signature Remus-please-shut-up glare. “It doesn’t matter,” Virgil muttered. “And fine—whatever you’re doing doesn’t matter, either, then. Just go back to bed.”

“Only if you come with me,” Remus teased, relaxing as they fell into a routine of familiar banter. It was tradition for the three Dark Sides to sleep together—not in that way—whenever their mental states became shit—when Remus found his thoughts growing too dark for comfort; when Vee was terrified and could not catch his breath; when Jay got lost in his own lies. Despite his lighthearted tone, Remus’s offer was serious. If Virgil joined him, maybe they could get enough sleep to avoid having the Self-Care Snake on their tails.

Any other time, Virgil would have smiled gratefully and nodded, possibly bickering with Remus over whether they should stay in one of their rooms or ambush Janus in his. If he was calm, he would still offer a comforting presence and a listening ear, sitting Remus down with a mug of his famous hot chocolate—absolute perfection in a way neither Remus nor Janus could replicate. No matter the circumstances, though, there was no way that Virgil would simply scoff and turn away when Remus was so obviously in distress.

At least…not until tonight.

“Really, Remus?” Virgil snapped. The odd quality in his voice only seemed to grow, enveloping his words like flames in a dry forest. “Just go to sleep or something. I don’t have time for your games.” Remus could hear him muttering under his breath; something about so needy and just grow up.

Remus swallowed hard at his words, unnerved by the abrupt change in the tone of the conversation—and that was saying something. Remus was never unnerved. All his nerves were—unfortunately—in his body where they belonged.

Nevertheless, he paused and forced himself to take a deep breath, exactly the way Virgil had once taught him. Now was not the time to jump to conclusions. It was not unheard of for Virgil to become snappy when he was especially worried. Maybe he was just having a really bad night, in which case Serious Remus would need to handle the situation; possibly even wake Janus. Regardless, he assured himself that he did not need to take the attitude personally—not when Virgil had spent so much time assuring Remus that he would never leave. Remus did not need to be afraid; he just needed to comfort Virgil.

“Scare Bear?” he asked. “Something bothering you? We can cuddle and talk about it.” He conjured up a fuzzy purple blanket and shot Virgil what he hoped was a reassuring smile, not that Virgil could see either in the dark.

Virgil let out a low, growl-like noise that made the hairs on the back of Remus’s neck stand up. “Just leave me alone, for fuck’s sake!” he all but hissed. “Wake up Janus if you really can’t handle your own goddamn thoughts, but leave—me—alone!”

Remus startled at the sudden use of Tempest Tongue, ice settling in the pit of his stomach.

Shit.

“Vee, I’m turning on the light.”

“No—”

Light flooded the room—do you think your eyes will burn out of their sockets?—and washed over every shadow, nook, and cranny. Remus froze when he caught sight of the other—specifically, of the red eyes, shaking hands, and eyeshadow trails on his cheeks.

Oh fuck, what happened?!

His concern skyrocketed, guilt flooding his body with every beat of his heart. Virgil had not left his room for lunch or dinner—had he been trapped in there by his own terror? Had he felt like he couldn’t go to Remus and Janus for help?

“Vee?” Remus tried frantically. “What—”

“Shut up!” Virgil snarled. “Can’t you take a fucking hint?! Can’t you mind your own business for once?!”

Remus gulped at the new direction of the conversation. He opened his mouth to say—well, he was not exactly sure what he was going to say—when his eyes took in Virgil’s position. The way he was angled toward the very door that most of them avoided; the way he was almost comfortable to be bathing in its light. In Remus’s recent memory, a dark flurry of movement melted into a hand, yanking itself away from the doorknob.

…No.

No, no, no.

Surely, surely this was just a side effect of Remus’s own thoughts. Surely he was jumping to conclusions.

When in doubt, ask questions, Janus’s voice reminded him. Virgil and I never mind providing a bit of reassurance.

Yeah. Ask. That would be simple enough.

“…Virgil?” Remus piped up, unconsciously fidgeting with his fingers. “You aren’t…you aren’t leaving us, are you?” He probably isn’t. It’s just your imagination—

“Obviously, stupid!”

What.

His heart thrashed inside his chest, his eyes stung, and against all his good judgement, Remus…laughed. “You—you can't be serious!” he giggled, not amused in the slightest. He was distantly aware of a buzzing noise in his ears, but he paid it no heed. “Like—like, you promised to never leave us, so you have to be joking, because none of us ever break our promises to each other!” His breaths were too shallow; too quick.

Virgil let out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, like how Deceit promised that we would never be accepted by Thomas? Like how you promised that the only way to be heard was to scare them into submission?” His hands drew into tight fists. Remus winced at the mental image of those very fists painting a patchwork of purple bruises on his flesh. It would not be the first time, but there was a large difference between controlled sparring matches and genuine brawls. “You made me believe that I was hopeless! Do you even know what I did?!”

Before Remus could muster some semblance of an answer, Virgil scoffed and answered his own question. “Of course you don’t!” he screamed, the noise causing Remus to freeze in his tracks. “Because you and damn Snake Face are too caught up in your own heads to pay attention to anything!”

Distantly, Remus thought that it was probably lucky that Janus was such a heavy sleeper.

“So, yeah, I am leaving, because you know what? I actually got accepted! I’m not like you!”

Not like you.

Remus swallowed and took a step back, finally registering the note in Virgil’s voice.

Hatred.

He hates you.

…This time, Remus did not think he could dispute the thought.

“You…you aren’t even going to visit?” was all he managed to get out. This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this cannot be fucking real—

“Why would I?” Virgil spat. “You really don’t get it, do you?! What the three of us had? Whatever fake family we made up? It—is—done.”

“No—no, it can’t be!” Remus insisted. He sounded almost hysterical, even to his own ears. “You—you can’t leave! Not if I don’t let you!” He did not realize he was summoning his morning star until he heard the clang of the spikes against the floor. Even so, he did not understand why he had done so. It was not like he was actually going to use it.

Virgil, however, had different ideas.

With a snap of his fingers, the room plunged back into total darkness.

Virgil let out a wicked laugh, Tempest Tongue vanishing as his eyes glistened with a deep violet gleam that joined the glow of the door as the only source of light in the room.

“Really, Remus?” he hissed, and when had he summoned a dagger— "Is this really how you want to do this?"

Bile rose in Remus’s throat as images of blood, smeared all over the floor and dripping down the walls, filled his mind. Virgil was not one to bullshit, and with the force of a baby bird slamming headfirst into a glass panel, he realized that there was a very real chance of things getting physical.

Remus swallowed a lump as an old memory resurfaced, playing like a movie in his mind.

“All right,” Janus had said, narrowing his eyes at Remus and Virgil. “Just—please remember: even though we’re learning to fight, no matter how angry we get, we will never use these skills against one another. Our arguments will never get physical. Promise me?”

“Isn’t that obvious, Jay-nus? I love blood, as long as it’s not your blood.”

“Humor me and promise, you octopus.”

“Well, duh! Of course I promise, Snakey!”

“And you, Virgil?”

“I promise too. Obviously.”

Remus swallowed. I’m sorry, Janus. It looked like Virgil might not be the only Side breaking his promises tonight.

This was not going to be their usual sparring.

“Vee, I don’t understand what’s going on, but—”

“What?!” Virgil snarled, voice so deeply drenched with that odd quality—with hatred—that Remus actually took a startled step back. “What do you want?! God—you are so annoying.”

Annoying.

“I was just being nice. Why don’t you leave—me—alone?! Take a hint!” Virgil’s eyes glowed brighter. “You’re embarrassing—from the moment I met you.”

Embarrassing.

Was…was it all a lie?

But Janus would have known, right?

Unless….

Was Janus in on this, too?

Remus was sure that even the Light Sides could hear his heart snapping in two.

Virgil raised the dagger, his expression calm but cruel as the dark blade glistened. “If you don’t get rid of me…I’m gonna get rid of you.”

Remus watched in silence, dizzy from the rapid-fire beating of his heart. His mouth was desert-dry and his eyes were burning—

And suddenly, he could only watch as Virgil lowered the knife, scoffing at Remus’s tense form. “That’s what I thought, Duke.”

With a snap of his fingers, the room was illuminated once more and his knife was gone. A hand settled once more on the doorknob, Virgil’s form aligning perfectly with the silhouette that Remus remembered. Virgil shot a loathing look over his shoulder. “Give Deceit my worst regards.”

Without as much as a second glance, Virgil stepped through the door and slammed it behind himself, the force causing a nearby picture frame to fall off the wall and shatter.

And with it went any faith that Remus had once placed in his family.

~~~

A/N: Apologies for the angst.

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dragonleesupporter · 3 years

Text

Not So Different Part I

A/N HEYYYY! Did you miss me? Probably not, but here I am with another t-fic.

Warning: This is a tickle fic!

It was no secret that tickling was a common pastime in the mindscape. Each side had their own soft spot for the activity in different scenarios. Logan loved tickling for the inexplicable properties it possessed. Roman loved being held and teased, Virgil loved soft cuddle tickles and Janus was a fan of others exploring the ticklishness of the skin just in between his scales.

However, there were two sides that NEVER got tickled. These two the others would call the tickle monsters of the house. Any attempt to tickle them would backfire and the daring ler would soon become the lee. If one side wanted to be absolutely wrecked, or just want a special type of tickling, the two tickle monsters were the ones to do it.

Logan, and Roman always went to Patton when overcome by monstrous lee moods, while Janus and Virgil would go to Remus.

Despite holding the same title and power over the others in their little games, Remus and Patton couldn’t be more different. If the two were in the same room with each other for a single minute, an argument was bound to happen. Sometimes it was cute with both tickle monsters teasing some of their favorite lees to try bribe the other to prove their dominance. But other times… their arguments got really serious… This constant friction between them caused Remus to stop coming to dinner with the others, as Patton would always find a way to ruin his fun. Patton stopped going to Roman’s room entirely because of the fact that him and Remus shared it together, and Remus always got to Patton with absurd and disturbing ideas. Patton would only enter the Imagination if Roman went with him.

Virgil, while loving the way Remus could make him scream and nearly pass out from the all the wonderful sensations of his tickling, or how surprisingly gentle he could be if Virgil used his safe word… he was starting to get curious what it would be like to ask Patton for tickles… After all, out of all the sides, Virgil was the most neutral when it came to the divide in them- down to even being indifferent whenever Patton and Remus fought, refusing to take a side.

One morning, the emo awoke with what he liked to call an “Oh damn, I’m royally fucked” lee mood, that consisted of him giggling and snorting to himself at the mere thought of being touched in any of his tickle spots. Usually, he’d go to Remus for a lee mood so big, but, reluctantly, it was Patton’s door he decided to knock on.

“Hey there, kiddo! Why you shaking so much? Is something wrong?” The fatherly trait’s normally happy appearance quickly changed to one of concern at the sight before him. Virgil had hidden his face in his hoodie, hugging himself tightly and shivering with the tingles his mind was making up to get him even more riled up.

“L-lee mood…” He barely managed under his breath. He dared a peak at Patton’s face and was surprised to see an uncharacteristically smug expression behind Patton’s glasses. He suddenly grabbed Virgil’s arms and yanked him into the room, closing and locking the door behind him.

“Why didn’t you say so sooner, Virge?” His honey-sweet voice carried an eerie and almost predatorial undertone as he approached Virgil, grinning madly. Virgil took a few steps back, surprised.

“Oh, don’t look so scared, you asked for this after all…” Patton practically growled as he pounced on him, holding him in his arms.

Virgil couldn’t help but squeak, Patton’s hands were touching his sides already, making the tingles SO much worse. Virgil suddenly felt the urge to hold his breath as Patton started poking along his sides, feeling out all of his possible tickle spots.

“Y’know, this is the first time I get to wreck you Virge… would you want to tell me what your favorite spot is? ~” His sweet voice echoed as he leaned up to whisper in Virgil’s ear.

The emo flinched and leaned his head away, but Patton’s tickly whispers followed him.

“Cmoooon, son… just tell me where…”

Oh. He was serious… Remus always knew where to get him. He never had to tell him where he wanted it! Oh no, this is going to be hard!

“U-Um…” Virgil avoided eye contact. “S-s-s…”

“Sides?” Patton guessed and immediately shoved his hands under Virgil’s shirt.

“I- NO! NO! NOHOHOHOHOHO! PAHAHAHAHAT!” Virgil shook like he was being electrocuted. Patton’s fingers were so soft and stubby, skittering up and down his sides like spiders on the prowl. Virgil’s body kept trying to worm away from the unbearable sensations, but there was a floor to his back, Patton in front of him, and tickly fingers on both his left and his right! His legs started kicking as his laughter got higher in pitch. Patton was inching ever so close to his hips and tummy.

The fatherly figure saw the reaction right away.

“Aw! Is this a tickle-tickle-tickle spot right here?? This squishy thing right here? This adorable little tummy?” Patton’s voice grew louder and squeakier with excitement as he started prodding at the edges of Virgil’s belly, making him squeal with each poke.

“C-cut it out!” Virgil managed between each squeal.

“Cut out what Virge? Tickling you?” Patton’s sugar-dipped tone teased, lightly circling the sides of his tummy with his fingertips.

The emo tried desperately not to laugh.

“Quit t-t-teasing!” He shook madly, struggling to keep his giggles in.

“Aww, is a little Virgie embawassed? Embawassed little kiddo of mine??” Patton’s ever changing tone only got more flustering, the pitch going even higher than the emo’s heartrate. “Maybe my little kiddo needs a boost! A snack perhaps? Why, I’m so hungry, I can eat this adorable tummy right up!” The fatherly figure eyed Virgil’s belly button with overwhelming excitement.

“Wait-!” The purple side cried in a panic, but it was too late. Patton’s head charged toward Virgil’s tummy like a bull and upon contact, Patton blew the biggest raspberry his lungs would allow.

“NOHOHOHOHO! STOHOHOHOP IHIHIHIT!” Virgil thrashed and spun wildly, bucking and kicking like mad, but Patton stayed on his tummy button, forcing more vibrations to echo and bounce off each other.

“NOHOHOT THAHAHAHAHAT! NOHOHOHOHOHAHAHA! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” Virgil started crying tears of laughter, as he threw his head back, a huge wave of relief and happiness came over him.

When Virgil’s eyes started to roll up and his laughter became silent, Patton finally stopped.

“How do you feel, kiddo?” He murmured lovingly, rubbing the emo’s belly in slow steady circles.

“Ahhhffffeb… gah…” Virgil’s attempt at English was pathetic, yet adorable.

“How about cuddles… hm?” Patton’s arms wrapped around the hooded emo, purring softly.

“Otay…” Virgil fell asleep in Patton’s arms as he kissed at his son’s face and neck and woke up with Patton still there, spooning him.

It was odd, how different Patton and Remus were, yet they still had that loving look in their eyes as they wrecked their lees… However, while Remus is one for suspense and buildup, Patton’s teases have the same effect before he goes right for the kill… Usually, Virgil would wake up tucked in his bed, warm and safe… but all alone… waking up with Patton protecting him with a big sleepy bear hug… this was beautiful… this was… really embarrassing… but this… also didn’t help his decision of who to stick to… or who was the more dominant ler… he was gonna need more help…

…

“Virgil, what was it that you wanted to discuss with me?”

“Yeah, uh… Logan… how would you like to partake in an experiment with me?”

To Be Continued…

@poptartsaysurloved @thetickleeraven @fluffymary

@cefsticklestoo @leedrop-angel

#sandersides lee!Virgil Ler!Patton ticklefic

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the-duke-of-nuts · 3 years

Text

Is This Coffee Hot Or Is It Just You?

Day 3: Coffee Shop @dukexietyweek

Summary: Virgil finds out that a certain someone happens to work at the local coffee shop

Pairing: Dukexiety

Word Count: 1389

Warnings: Food Mention, Innuendos, Violence Mention, Literally all of my fics contain swearing so there’s that I guess

Tag List: @idontcareaboutcanon (If anyone else wants to be added just let me know)

Ah Coffee shops. Virgil never understood the appeal about a place filled with nothing but caffine, free WIFI, hipsters, and pastries. He certainly also didn't understand why he agreed to go to the local one near his apartment that his friends kept oh so begging him to go to for some reason. Well, by "friends" it was mostly Patton and Roman. His other two friends could care less about the place just as much as him. But here he was opening the door to the quiet semi-crowded shop. There was an oddly comforting atmosphere to it. The lights were dim, random relaxing music can be heard through the speakers, various different tea boxes and mugs hung on the shelves. "Maybe this place isn't so bad." Virgil thought to himself as he looked around the room. He walked forward to the counter as he happened to be the next person in line but then he saw him.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Remus Pierce. The same Remus Pierce that always flirted with him in high school. The same Remus Pierce that casually ate juiced bread at lunch to gross people out. The same Remus Pierce that Virgil secretly had a crush-

"Well hello there customer~ What can I get you~?" The said mustached, silver streaked hair barista asked smirking. "Coffee." Virgil deadpanned. "I'm afraid you're gonna need to be more specific than that." "Like my soul." Virgil glared. "Alright so black it is. And a name?" Remus smirked as he uncapped a marker and held an empty coffee cup. "Oh my god Remus you already know my-" Virgil took a deep breath in so he could stop himself from getting angry and causing an unnecessary scene and answered with a fake smile "Virgil." "I'm sorry can you spell that for me please? I don't wanna misspell a hottie like yours name like everybody else here does to the other customers."

That damn cocky smirk.

Virgil just wanted to kiss- punch that smug look off his face. "V-I-R-G-I-L." "Okay S-E-X-Y got it. Your beverage should be hot and ready for you shortly." Remus winked and booped Virgil's nose as he walked off to go make the emo's coffee. Virgil growled blushing and buried his face in his hands.

Damn him for being so hot- horrible!

Remus soon came back with Virgil's coffee and dramatically bowed as he held the cup for him to take."For you, my 'Bittersweet Symphony'. "Thanks..." Virgil hesitantly took the beverage. "How much?" He asked as he placed the cup down and reached for his wallet. "Oh for you it's on the house!" "Thanks I guess?" Remus smiled and responded with a nod and a hum.

You gorgeous fuck stop smiling!

Virgil's heart started beating a little faster. Surely Remus wasn't having this effect on him right? They've known each other since high school. There was nothing to be nervous about. The only reason Virgil didn't hear much about the barista after that was because Roman hardly ever talked about him. "So... You work here." Virgil stated as he tried to start a conversation. "Yup! Have been for a couple of months now. What about you? Do you do anything nowadays?" "Of course I do I do a lot of stuff!" Virgil immediately answered. " Oh really? Like what?" Remus asked amused. "Stuff..." Virgil half mumbled as he looked away. Remus cackled.

That disgustingly beautiful laugh.

"Vee Vee, I've known you long enough to know that you're not fully being honest because you're either 1, ashamed or 2, scared of what I'm gonna say. Now c'mon what do you actually do? I promise I won't judge." Virgil blushed. Was he really that readable?

"Fine. It's not like you care or anything but I write poems and sell them."

"Nice. Maybe one of these days you can read me one of your angsty emo sonnets. OOH! Or better yet I can help you write some juicy-"

"Not happening!"

"Fine fine suit yourself." Remus chuckled. "So what brings you here Finding Emo?"

"Prince Drama Queen and Chocolate Chip Cookies."

"Ah so Romano and Patty. That figures. You sure it wasn't for another reason~?"

"No?"

"C'mon admit it. I know you missed me~" Remus smirked playfully pinching Virgil's cheek. "I didn't even know you worked here!" Virgil blushed as he swatted Remus' hand away. "Yeah but now you do and you can see me aaaaanytime you want." "Whatever..." Virgil crossed his arms and looked away.

There soon became a silence between them. Since when did Remus' eyes get prettier? Maybe it was the eyeshadow? No he always had that. Maybe it was because they were a deep chocolate brown? His hair and lips definitely looked softer and- Shit! Virgil was staring!

Get out of there! Get out of there now!

"Anyways I should get going and uh-" Virgil cleared his throat as he picked up his coffee and turned around to leave as quick as possible but Remus stopped him. "Wait uh Virgil, can I ask you something?" Ah yes every anxiety-ridden person's favorite question. "You just did." Virgil deadpanned trying to play off his anxiousness. "You know what I meant!" Remus said slightly irritated.

"Fine. What is it?"

"Okay so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out together later after my shift?"

Virgil blushed. "Like a date?" "If you want it to be~" Remus wiggled his eyebrows and winked. "But in all seriousness yeah kind of." A date!? Remus was far from being the romantic type. This had to be a trick right!?

"Remus I-"

"Look, I know you don't like me much and you probably hate me, but just give me this one chance... Please?" Remus took Virgil's hand and gave him a pleading look. Virgil unconsciously held Remus' hand tighter staring into his eyes. He felt bad. Did Remus really think he actually hated him? That was far from the truth. Virgil loved him. He loved him so damn much since the moment he first laid eyes on him. He just didn't know how to tell him. Let alone show him.

Virgil sighed. "Fine. One date and that's it. If I actually have a good time, I'll maybe consider going on some more with you. If not, then whatever we have going on between us isn't happening.” That was an obvious lie. Virgil would've agreed to go on countless ones regardless of the outcome and accept to being Remus' boyfriend if he asked but he never wanted to actually admit that to the barista's face.

"I won't disappoint!" Remus smiled getting a little excited. "Yeah yeah whatever. Just out of curiosity, what exactly is this date?" Virgil asked knowing fully well that this "date" the barista had planned was far from his twin's definition. Remus smirked and leaned forward for only Virgil to hear. "Two words. Baseball bats and breaking shit." There's the Remus he knew and loved.

Still chaotic as ever.

Virgil smiled. "Alright you've piqued my interest." "I'm glad I did. If I'm lucky, we both know what happens after the first date~" Remus smirked wiggling his eyebrows. "Shut up. You wish." Virgil blushed holding back a laugh and playfully pushed Remus' face away. Remus cackled.

"A man can fantasize."

"Yeah a little too much."

"So you have thought about-"

"Pierce! Stop flirting with the customers and get back to work!"

Remus rolled his eyes annoyed at his manager's voice in the distance. "I gotta go. My shift ends in like 2 hours and I put my number on the cup so just call or text me or come back by then." "Alright." Remus smirked. "What!?" Virgil blushed confused but immediately realized what that smirk meant.

Oh no.

Remus practically made this phrase a tradition everytime they said bye to each other. "I love you no homo." Yup there it was. Virgil sighed and facepalmed "I love you too no homo..." Remus smiled satisfied that Virgil still said it back since the day they first met.

"Later."

Virgil picked his coffee up and left and smiled to himself as soon as he went outside. After all of these years, he's still a dork. That's what Virgil always loved about Remus. And with that final thought, Virgil finally sipped his coffee and his smile grew wider.

He remembered exactly how I liked it.

#i genuinely don't know how spacing works for fanfiction so forgive the VERY shitty formatting #dukexietyweek2021 #dukexiety #remus #remus sanders #virgil #virgil sanders #ts remus #ts virgil #sanders sides #thomas sanders #dukey writes

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wisherbysharlight · 4 years

Text

Adrenaline Rush of Admitting a Crush

Word Count: 1622 Ships:Prinxiety, mentioned Pintroverts AO3: here Thanks to @vintagesquid for the beta! Description: Spoilers for FWSA! Virgil can’t wait. He just can’t. He needs to do this now, but there are limits to even the adrenaline high of bravery...

Roman is right there. And he’s smiling, and dancing around the room, and squealing in a way he hadn’t in months, if not a year, and Virgil has to say something.

“Do you need to pee?”

He can’t stop shaking his hands, bouncing in place. He’s hearing Roman spouting off ideas left and right, sees his delighted expression, and,

“Are you sure you don’t need to pee?”

Virgil can’t wait. He just can’t. He needs to do this now, but there are limits to even the adrenaline high of bravery. As impatient as he is, he has to wait for Thomas to not be paying attention to them.

All this energy, all these emotions, all this bravery, he has to do it now, before he loses the adrenaline high, but of course Thomas still needs them. He still needs to run back through the entire scenario at least five times, to check and double check and triple check that it actually happened. Virgil can’t fault him for that, hell, he wants it all too.

But Roman.

Roman is right there. And he’s smiling, and dancing around the room, and squealing in a way he hadn’t in months, if not a year, and Virgil has to say something.

Finally, finally, Thomas goes upstairs to change, claiming to try to use some of his nervous energy for a run. They won’t be summoned again for a bit, most likely, and they’re safe to sink out into the mindspace’s version of the living room. No one else is around, and this is it, this is his moment, he can do this, he squares his shoulders and he looks at Roman and he opens his mouth and-

“You don’t have to say it Virgil,” Roman says before the sound can leave Virgil’s mouth, “I know. I won’t tell the others about,” he waves his hand vaguely at Virgil’s eyes, “sparkle city, or whatever, until you’re ready. I know you, worry. Heh. About the whole ‘emo nightmare’ reputation.”

Virgil’s shaking his head furiously before Roman can even get his whole sentence out, the shadows under his eyes darkening in concern, “No, Roman, they- if they don’t know already I don’t care if they do now. I’m excited, it happens, no use trying to hide it.”

Roman looks concerned at the change, taking a hesitant step towards him without seeming to think too much about it before stopping himself, “Then - then what’s up, Legion of Gloom?” “I wanted to talk to you. About today. And. And tell you that I- shit, I am terrible at this. How did Thomas do it?” Virgil grumbles, feeling his face flame up and sparing a thought to be grateful for his foundation. He has to break eye contact because looking straight at Roman is not helping, “Ok listen. I wasn’t going to say anything. I really wasn’t. But Roman, today. You said - you said a couple things that … that set off alarm bells for me, and I just - I feel like I need to tell you this so just let me get it all out before you say anything.”

Roman nods mutely, but his hands are still restless, still moving and grabbing onto each other then onto his sash then to his belt loops.

“Ok. Ok so, I’ve noticed. Recently. That you have been a little. Ugh, shit, what’s the word. I should’ve practiced this better. I’ve noticed you’ve been a little, uh, insecure? And I just wanted, no. No I needed you to know that I see everything you do and how hard you’ve been trying. How much you want to be right. I’ve been there, Princey, and it’s not a fun place to be. But Roman. Just. Know I see you, and that ... that you can trust me to be honest with you. About my feelings. Because god knows I don’t talk about them often. And Ro? I really, honestly, care about you. Seeing you happy today? Knowing that I, me, I myself was able to do that for you? Well. It forced me to acknowledge something I’d been trying very hard to ignore.”

Roman looks absolutely shell-shocked, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hanging open a bit, hands now twisting his sash between them, face flushed almost as red as his emblem. He drops the sash when Virgil stops talking, gesturing wildly at him, voice clearly on the verge of breaking, “What is it? Don’t leave a man in suspense, Virgil, a story like that cannot be left unfinished.” Virgil huffs out a laugh, fidgeting with the zipper on his sleeve, “You would be focused on the story, dramatic ass.” He huffs again, then stares up at the ceiling, “Roman, I- If I could make you smile like that. You- God you’re just so good Roman, and for a long time I think I was denying ... that I could ever be enough. But if I could do that, today, for you, for Thomas. Well. I think I can try. To be enough. And to let myself want to be-”

Virgil’s voice dies in his throat as Roman’s thumb gently presses on his chin, tilting his head down - when had he even moved that close - and oh. He’s smiling, that brilliant smile that Virgil was worried was reserved just for Nico - “Virgil. I was also concerned. About being. Enough. For you.”

“Well that’s stupid,” Virgil bursts out, then feels his face flame up and theres no way his foundation is enough to cover that. “Because. Because.”

“Because we’re both a bit stupid?” Roman grins, and his thumb moves slightly from where it’s still on his chin, the rest of his hand cupping his cheek, and that feels really nice. Maybe Virgil leans into it a bit, feels that light tingle under his eyes that means his shadow is shifting and fights the urge to sink out and hide it, “And maybe we are both enough? Or rather, that we balance each other quite nicely?” Virgil nods, and idly wonders when he became the mute one in this conversation, and where all this suaveness had been when they were trying to woo Nico, but those thoughts fly out the window when Roman’s thumb brushes feather-light over his bottom lip, “And maybe? We could try to explore how well we work together? As a team, and as more?”

Virgil knows he’s gone full-lavender at this point as he nods, careful not to dislodge Roman’s thumb. He leans in, feeling even braver than when he had shoved Thomas earlier, bolstered even more by the urge to assuage the doubt still hiding in Roman’s eyes, but still slow in case he’s wrong (oh god, what if he’s wrong), but Roman surges forward, capturing his lips and holding onto his face with both hands. Virgil even doesn’t know what to do with his own hands, he’s so happy he can’t possibly keep them still, so he just holds onto Roman’s shoulders, then his arms, then his hair (oh soft hair that’s a good place to stay), and lets Roman take the lead.

Virgil notices a moment later that Roman’s humming, and it doesn’t feel intentional, which makes him grin into the kiss and causes Roman to start laughing, and then they’re both off. They’re leaning into each other still, but Virgil’s hands are flapping on either side of Roman and Roman’s bouncing on the balls of his feet and neither of them can stop giggling long enough to even say anything. They just exist in each others’ spaces, giggling just like before, only this time Virgil can smell the mint from Roman’s breath, can see the sparkle in his eye, and it makes him feel like he can take on the world.

Eventually, Roman quiets enough to speak, though he’s still grinning like a loon, “So, I guess I have to start thinking of fun pet names instead of just plain nicknames, huh Hot Topic?” “I knew you thought I was hot,” Virgil croons back without missing a beat, feeling less off kilter with his trademark smirk, though he knows his shadow still betrays the levity in his entire being.

Roman leans in to kiss him again, and their laughter returns when Virgil is caught off guard enough by Roman nipping at his lip that he stumbles. ‘You’re supposed to be alert, Virgil. Get back on your game.’ the nasty voice that sounds a lot like his own from the past hisses in his ear, but is drowned out quickly when Roman swoons dramatically and coos, “Oh Virgil I knew you’d fall for me eventually.”

“I’ll show you falling,” Virgil growls playfully, pushes Roman to the couch and straddles him, getting his hands back in that soft hair and pulling him up for another kiss, then another, and another, each only to be interrupted when one of them gets so overwhelmed they squirm, or squeak, or hum, or flap, and they dissolve into laughter again, like they have all the time in the world.

At some point, they’ll have to debrief the other sides on the particulars of what went down at the mall food court today. They’ll discuss Janus being overworked and exhausted and in everyone else’s business, and address Patton’s suspicious absence in a matter of the heart, and assist Logan with his inevitable sulking about yet another emotional connection to maintain, and deal with Remus’ certainly ever-growing list of new material featuring that new connection.

Eventually, they, Roman and Virgil, would have to address their insecurities in a less indirect manner, and actually talk through them to make sure neither one was rushing in blind. It all needed to happen, but later. For now, with just the two of them here on the couch, Virgil couldn’t bring himself to fear any of it, even though it was all residing in the back of his mind.

Bravery. Huh. He could get used to that.

#prinxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #fwsa #flirting with social anxiety #stimmy virgil #stimmy roman #look at me writing canon fic who AM i #my writing

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 3 years

Text

When Our Hands Next Meet

Series summary: Soulmates are given memories of their past lives when their hands touch. For Virgil and Logan, each memory is happier than the last.

This series was created for @analogicalweek and made in collaboration with the lovely @birdsongisland! Please go look at the piece that inspired this work and support them with reblogs so they’re work can be seen!

Credit to birdsongisland for beta reading this work and truly making it so much better with their suggestions. Thank you!

Chapter 1: Did You Forget?

Chapter Summary: Logan plans a surprise for Virgil on their anniversary, only to receive one instead.

Day 1 Prompt: Debate/Anniversary

Warnings: food mention. If there are others please let me know!

WC: 1320

AO3 link

Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @ace-in-a-shopping-cart @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @logans-library @im-an-anxious-wreck @edupunkn00b

Logan adjusted the flowers in the vase one last time, stepping back before he nitpicked the setup to death trying to get every last detail right. Neither of them liked big, fancy occasions so he always tried to get the details right down to the wrinkles in the cloth so it would be special for them regardless. Frowning he stepped forward to wipe a bit of chipped nail polish off the pristine silky tablecloth, wincing as he looked at the state of his nails. Sometimes he hated how much he worked with his hands that polish never seemed to last half as long as it should, but then he thought of Virgil holding his hands while they watched a movie or their current binge show, carefully applying each color and keeping a hold of his hand while it dried even if it wasn’t strictly necessary- the image made him blush right down to his shirt collar and duck his chin against the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. He couldn’t afford to get distracted at the moment- at least not for too long. Everything was set, all he needed was for Virgil to come home.

He’d been surprised coming out to the backyard to set everything up only to find the lawn swept clean of debris and fairy lights strung up, twinkling in the late afternoon sun. He had wondered what Virgil had been doing, running off to the store after dinner. He’d spouted something about an errand, pecking him on the cheek and leaving before Logan could think to ask what he needed to be going out for at six o’clock in the evening.

Admittedly he’d been a bit distracted with his own plans, digging for a lighter he knew they had to light the candle on the cupcake later. Thankfully said cake was holding up perfectly in the back of the fridge where he knew Virgil wouldn’t see it. Standing on the porch he smiled softly as he looked around, the backyard turned into a magical scene thanks to Virgil’s efforts. He hadn’t thought to set the lights up when he had planned his own surprise, so he was glad Virgil had made it even better.

Not a moment too soon he heard the car pull into the driveway, making a giddy sort of happiness settle in the center of his chest. Never had he been so enamored with someone that the mere thought of their presence lit up his nerves with a pleasant hum that left him dizzy and anchored in the same moment. But here he was, shifting anxiously from foot to foot waiting for his soulmate to come through the door. He only had to wait a minute before Virgil stepped out onto the back porch, confusion settling over his features before he shook it away and a somewhat nervous smile took its place. Smiling himself as he drew near, Logan held out his hand which was taken immediately and gently squeezed. The air was similarly squeezed from his lungs when he finally locked eyes with Virgil, his deep brown eyes glittering along with the purple eyeshadow applied underneath them with a darker shade of lipstick painting his smile.

Blushing slightly, he ignored the other's amusement and tugged him towards the table. “Did you forget what day it was?” He teased.

“Considering we ate dinner in suits- hardly. I was just surprised to find you out here, usually we eat dessert inside.”

“You had already set up the fairy lights. I thought it would be an opportunity missed if we didn’t celebrate our anniversary outside on such a lovely night.”

Virgil smiled softly and ran his thumb over his knuckles. “I’m so glad that I have you in my life, this is perfect. So much better than that auditorium where we first met.”

“Debate club was hardly the ideal circumstance for us to meet.” Logan chuckled.

“I don’t even remember what the subject was.”

“I believe it was one of the duller practice ones asking whether or not peanut butter was ethically sourced- to which you argued you were allergic and therefore should get a passing grade regardless because asking you to talk about it was unethical in and of itself.” Laughing at the memory he watched as Virgil only huffed in mock annoyance.

“It was a good argument!” Screwing his mouth to the side Virgil nudged him playfully. “It was a dumb subject anyway no one had any good counterpoints.”

“I did!”

“So did I, that’s not the point Lo.” Laughing outright at the seething look he received, Virgil held his hands up in mock surrender.

“You did, actually. I remember you doing very well for not having prepared anything.” Logan sniffed indignantly. “Mine were just better.”

Smirking, he leaned back into the table as Virgil’s expression morphed into a “challenge accepted” glare, eager to see where this would go. He always loved getting Virgil into debate moods, he became so animated and focused- a far cry from when he first started and thought hissing was a legitimate debate tactic.

“I’ll have you know,” Virgil stepped forward purposefully, petite stature making it not nearly as intimidating as it was meant to be. “I’ve learned much better debate tactics since then anyway.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Logan smiled. “Oh have you-”

He cut himself off with a choked gasp as Virgil was suddenly holding his hand while down on one knee, a small box held open in his palm to reveal a ring with a stone that twinkled gently with the fairy lights behind them. He snapped his mouth shut as Virgil smiled that gentle smile, the same smile that Logan had counted himself the luckiest person in the world to see the first day he had seen the emo teen slouch his way up the stage and behind the podium, nerves clearly telling him to listen to his fight or flight reflex but instead choosing to put those around him at ease any way he could.

“Logan.” He was snapped out of his thoughts with a gentle squeeze to his hand. “Do you remember how we had to shake hands after the debate?”

“I do.” Logan breathed.

“I saw all of you in that moment, every second we’ve spent together since our souls first met. I’ve loved you in every single life before this and in every single one I love you more still. I know it isn’t necessary but- I want to have a day that makes the fact that we’re soulmates everyone else’s problem.” Virgil held Logan’s gaze earnestly as he choked back a laugh. “Logan, will you marry me?”

“Virgil- of course!” Later he wasn’t sure if Virgil had tugged him down by his tie or if he had gripped it when Logan leaned down, but it didn’t matter as their lips connected and Logan could feel his boyfriend’s, no his fiance’s- his soulmate's heart racing underneath his fingers as he placed a hand to his cheek in an attempt to pull him closer.

Pulling away for a moment he laughed gently at the lipstick smeared slightly, reaching forward to try and fix it. “Virgil, that is not a legitimate debate tactic.”

“I’m taking it as a win anyway.” Virgil reached forward as well, pushing his glasses up to rub away a few stray tears Logan hadn’t noticed collecting on his cheeks. He leaned forward to kiss him again, and again, and again while the candles Logan had forgotten he had lit on the cupcake burned themselves out on the icing and the engagement ring was placed on the table in favor of holding each other as close as they could. And as Logan buried his face in the crook of Virgil’s neck and felt the other’s embrace tighten he knew that in all the lifetimes they had and would share, there was nowhere else he would rather be.

#false writes #analogicalweek #analogical week #analogical #virgil sanders #logan sanders #fluff #tw food mention #food mention #collaboration #logan x virgil #ao3 #sanders sides #sanders sides fic

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killing-all-joy · 3 years

Text

The World Is Ugly

I went “screw it” and decided to hop on the songfic train because this idea has been in my head for a looooong time. Finally finished it! This is a bit of a style divergence but I think it turned out nice so I hope you like it!

Pairing: Prinxiety

Word count: 7,127

Warnings: anxiety, mentions of murder

Virgil chewed on his thumbnail, staring at his phone in thought. He knew he had to tell Roman somehow, he just didn't know how. He had never been good at expressing intimate emotions.

Normally, Virgil would be incredibly anxious about telling his crush he liked him or he would ignore the feelings altogether, but this was different. Roman was different.

Why? Many reasons.

Virgil had known Roman for many years. They met in college and hated each other. However, they were friends with some of the same people and were forced to be around each other. They both had refused to sacrifice their friendships in the name of hating someone.

Over time, they stopped hating each other. Roman apologized for the names and the insults and Virgil apologized for his insults and cynicism towards Roman's creations.

Virgil eventually fell in love with Roman. When he realized it, it was like someone had yanked back a curtain over his feelings, but looking back, he found that the falling-in-love part was slow and gradual.

Now, it haunted his every waking minute.

Roman wasn't just like every other crush. Virgil had been in love with Roman for three years at this point and the feelings didn't seem to be fading in any sense. Roman had been Virgil's light and love for three years and Virgil had yet to find something about him that made him disappointed.

Patton was nice. Kind, sweet, enthusiastic; he was Virgil's best friend. But he could also be overwhelming, overbearing, strict, and too parental. Virgil loved Patton an incredible amount, but Virgil was sometimes too fragile to be fully comfortable in his presence.

Logan was smart. He was reliable, logical, honest, and gave very good advice. He was grounding, down-to-earth, and highly intelligent. However, Logan's wonderful qualities came with a side dish of coldness, occasional detachment and insensitivity, and bluntness. While this was often fine and sometimes even refreshing, it could sometimes be hard to deal with when Virgil wasn’t prepared for it. Logan and Virgil's friendship was very close and healthy, but Virgil couldn’t often deal with him for an extended period of time when Virgil wasn’t at his best.

But Roman...

Roman was perfect.

Yes, he could be arrogant and insensitive and harsh, but none of this deterred Virgil from extended interactions with him. To him, it just completed the puzzle that was Roman.

Roman was always perfect to Virgil. No part of his personality made Virgil not want to be around him. Virgil never had to twist the image of his princely friend to make him his ideal partner in his mind. No part of Roman's personality ever made Virgil wish he wasn't in his presence. At least, not after they became friends. His "flaws" just made him a better person in Virgil's eyes.

Virgil was mean. He was sarcastic, rude, blunt, pretty dumb, and constantly anxious. He was dark and brooding and incredibly pessimistic.

Virgil was a mess.

So, he obviously wasn't telling Roman because he thought the flawless man would like him back. But if it wasn't that, what was the point?

Because there were too many sleepless nights.

Too many evenings spent drying each other's tears.

Roman was sensitive, insecure; too sensitive of the opinions of others, too dependent on their approval. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and not everyone was wary of this, causing Roman frequent pain. Virgil had spent many evenings either on his or Roman's bed, hands on his talented friend's face as his thumbs cleaned away an endless stream of tears caused by events and people that would never be worth a second of Roman's time.

Virgil was almost certain he had more shirts that had been stained by Roman's snot and wasted saltwater than he had shirts that never had been cried on.

These nights, they made Virgil want to scoop up the princelike actor and hold him closer than the boundaries of their friendship would ever permit them to and whisper sweet nothings in his ear that would mainly just remind him of how loved he was. How loved he was by Virgil.

Virgil also wanted to apologize.

A week before, he, a singer-songwriter, returned from a particularly angering meeting with his manager. Roman tried to help him and cheer him up, but instead Virgil pushed him away by saying harsh things he didn't mean.

Of course, their friendship was too important to be on hold for a whole week, so Virgil had apologized the following day, but the musician could still tell that Roman was confused and not fully over it. He was no longer angry, but the pain hadn't left completely.

But Virgil couldn't explain his anger without also explaining that he was in love with him.

Roman had just been too nice, looking too pretty, and with brown irises that somehow seemed more entrancing than normal on that night. Virgil had wanted nothing more than to drown in the stage actor's arms. Roman had suggested ice cream, a movie (at home or at the cinema), or pizza if he hadn't already had dinner. Virgil had looked at his outstretched arms with want and longing. But he knew he couldn't play, tempt, or tease his heart like so and had declined rudely, faking irritation and anger. However, now he was faced with regret.

Virgil couldn't be fully honest with Roman if he didn't tell him about his feelings for him. It had been three years, but this dance could go on no longer. It made sense that if Virgil couldn't get over the theatric man in three years, he should face rejection in the eyes so that the romantic feelings would pass quicker. He should have told him long ago, but this was a good opportunity.

Yes, it was possible for him to wait for Roman's hurt and confusion to go away, but Virgil didn't want Roman to take any more actions (like not seeking Virgil's comfort when he required it, which had happened the night before this one) that would hurt him. It wasn't like telling Roman was a new concept for Virgil to mull over. A part of him had known for a long while now that telling Roman would eventually make getting over him easier. However, the possibility of Roman being disgusted and ending their friendship wasn't low. That was the driving force of Virgil’s hesitancy to enlighten Roman of the romantic inclinations he had for him. Virgil valued Roman's friendship, and would choose his platonic presence over his absence at any second.

But he couldn't lie any longer.

Roman had gone to Patton instead of Virgil last night when he learned that his ex-boyfriend (who ended their relationship five months before) had been cheating when they were together. Roman didn't still have romantic feelings for his former flame, but knowing that he cheated hurt him. He was lied to, betrayed; there was no way to tell if his ex ever loved him. That hurts even if there's no longer romance there.

Of course, Virgil learned this from a concerned Patton and not the actor himself.

All three involved in this event were troubled. Patton, for his friends' happiness (since Virgil and Roman made each other happy), Roman because he was confused and hurt, and Virgil, who wished Roman was comfortable with him again.

Virgil figured he only had one thing to do. Confess, and end the confusion.

Confess, and possibly end their friendship forever.

Virgil wished there was another way out.

But Roman was confused, hurt, and in a bad place. Virgil had tried everything in an effort to get over Roman, but nothing worked in the slightest. The singer knew it was past time that he confess.

So he stared at Roman's contact, the handsome face of his profile picture staring back. Roman was simply 'Roman' in Virgil's phone; he didn't put any cute nicknames in case Roman saw.

He brainstormed as hard as he could for a way to tell Roman he loved him romantically.

He didn't want to be too straightforward. Saying a blunt "I am romantically in love with you" was too scary to type out and send. And, he also had a shred of decency to not say something so important through text.

What did Virgil know best? Music.

He pulled up Spotify.

He went to his music, thinking through all the love songs he'd written about and for Roman (Roman didn't know of course). Virgil had his thumb over a particularly emotional and descriptive song, but paused.

If Virgil just sent him his song, Roman would think that he wanted an opinion on it, or that Virgil was reminiscing on works past. If Virgil sent a caption saying "this was about you", then the moment would be ruined, the text would feel too real and to-the-point, and he would be undermining his efforts to not say something monumental through text. No, he had to choose a song that would leave no room for confusion and no need for clarification.

What did Roman associate Virgil with, musically?

Emo music. Panic! At The Disco. Fall Out Boy.

My Chemical Romance.

Virgil would call the last his native tongue if he were able. It felt like such, each song seeming like it came from home or somewhere similar. It made sense for Virgil to communicate with something so dear to his heart. His friends were well acquainted with his love for the band. All his close friends, at one time or another, had been interrupted by Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge when they wanted to talk to Virgil. It told them he wasn't doing too well and needed time away from people and worldly responsibilities.

Which song, was the question.

MCR didn't have too many love songs; at least, they had a much lower percentage than many other bands. Also, a lot of those songs that you thought might be romantic could easily be interpreted differently. This made it a bit difficult for Virgil to find a song by them that encompassed his emotions, announced a repeat of his apology, and was clearly romantic.

He ran through the romantic MCR songs on speed-run in his head, paying close attention to the lyrics. His mind stopped when his brain fluttered to Conventional Weapons; more specifically, The World Is Ugly. He ran through the lyrics in his head, the tone, how clear the romance was.

He couldn't help but think no song described what he was feeling more.

The love, the apologeticness, the hatred of the world. Virgil knew how evil and ugly the world was. Is. But Roman...Roman was a star, shining in complete darkness without pause. Even when day came to hide the star's light and the two weren't in the other's presence, Virgil knew he was still there. Roman’s light wasn't like the sun which could blind or burn you, but like the stars in the sky that were bright, in a place far away, and at heights Virgil could only dream of reaching.

The lyrics made it clear that Virgil was using this song to communicate something—that something being love.

His finger shakily tapped his phone, pressing the share button and clicking on Roman's contact. He bit his lip, every brain cell except the one controlling his present actions screaming at him to reconsider, to protect their friendship and his heart. But this time, he ignored his anxiety.

He pressed send.

That was it. The text was sent. All he could do now was wait or regret.

A drop of blood slid down his chin from the lip he was biting too hard.

Roman opened his text messages reflexively. Virgil had a special text tone and Roman was conditioned to get excited when he heard it. He was almost always happy when Virgil sought out his company. Virgil's communication in any form was something he saw as a treat.

Virgil's feelings were no longer a secret.

---

Now, this was where the 'almost' came in. His argument with Virgil the week before made him anxious about what the text held. Was it a confession of hatred? Worse?

The app loaded to show a link to Spotify. He raised an eyebrow, plugging in his earbuds and shifting his position on his bed. He clicked the link and put in the earbuds as the song loaded and started.

Roman, an acquaintance of the emo for over five years at this point, and a friend for four of those years, knew his fair share of MCR. No, he did not know every song they ever created, but he knew a lot. This seemed to be one of the many he'd never heard. It was titled 'The World Is Ugly', a title he found unfamiliar and unsurprising for Virgil's music taste.

It wasn't nearly as intense as the ones that prompted him to lack interest in the band. He could hear the lyrics clearly.

As he started listening to the song that was sent without a caption, he realized that Virgil must have meant this as a way to communicate something. He decided to pay close attention to the lyrics for this reason alone.

The first verse seemed to have reassuring and protective elements, and a theme of unity between two people.

The chorus came, and he couldn't help but be taken aback by "but you're beautiful to me". At first, he thought it must be something Virgil didn't mean to convey, a lyric that didn't quite fit with everything else he was trying to tell Roman.

But the second chorus came after the second verse and Roman concluded that the song was a love song. It couldn't be anything else. To Roman, "but I wanted you to know” gave off the idea that if there was anything the singer wanted the audience to know, it was the next sentence (which included the line he was so confused about earlier). His mind almost came to the conclusion Virgil was trying to tell Roman that exact sentence...when he finally noticed that the chorus contained an apology.

Virgil already apologized.

Roman considered this, but a voice in his head told him that Roman hadn't accepted his apology—and acted like he hadn't.

Patton must have told him about last night.

He almost cursed Patton in his head, but concluded that Patton was worried because Roman often went to Virgil for the kind of thing he had gone to Patton for. Patton was concerned and probably wanted to make sure the two of them were okay.

By the end of the song, Roman knew what Virgil was trying to tell him. It threw him into a trance. He knew why Virgil sent this to him, and why he was so off-putting that night.

Virgil was in love with him.

Or so it seemed.

To be honest, Roman didn't want to believe it. Virgil being in love with him changed his whole world view.

To Roman, Virgil was the moon. Roman could always reach Virgil if he so chose, but he wasn't always present in person. He shone brightly to Roman, so bright. Not a light that made Roman shy away from and curse at, but a welcomed, beautiful light that made everything better when it was the dead of night and nothing else made sense. Virgil, for all of their friendship, was so close. He was who he was closest with. But, despite this, he was just out of reach. He couldn't hold him, touch him, speak to him in all the ways he wanted to. There was a boundary between them that made it so all that Roman wanted with Virgil was more than all that he got. He had gotten used to that. The moment he realized he wanted Virgil closer than he would ever be able to have him, he knew it would never be able to happen. Virgil didn't feel the same way.

Or, he thought that, at least.

But now, Virgil was telling him through My Chemical Romance that he did, in fact, feel the same. That he didn't mean to hurt him and he was so terribly sorry. That to Virgil, Roman was the only beauty in the ugliness of the world.

How long had Virgil felt this way? He’d had many boyfriends in the time they'd known each other. Many times where Virgil saw a man and couldn't help but be gay.

Then again, so had Roman.

Roman, despite having feelings for Virgil for a long time, dated. He'd had a few boyfriends throughout the time they'd been friends, all of them mainly in an effort to get over Virgil and because Roman thought they were cute. Maybe Virgil had done the same. Or, he could have been confused.

But the song didn't sound confused.

No, Virgil likely knew very well that he was head over heels for Roman. He had sent a single song with no caption or warning beforehand. It was clear that this was something that had been coming for a long time. Virgil was likely guilty about the fight and decided to enlighten Roman of his feelings for him.

Virgil loved him. Him.

Roman couldn't help but be surprised.

If Virgil liked anyone in their friend group, he'd think it would be Patton. He and Virgil were extremely close; best friends, if you will. (Roman was occasionally jealous of this because his closest friend was Virgil, but that was a topic for another time.) Patton was kind and sweet and cute and talented. He was a fantastic person who complimented Virgil in beautiful ways.

Virgil was also one to respect a great mind. Logan seemed more likely a love interest than Roman in the actor's eyes. Smart, interesting, logical, good with Virgil's panic attacks. The two of them would make sense. But it wasn't Logan. Or Patton.

It was Roman.

If he weren’t so emotionally drained and tired, he would squeal. Virgil was in love with him. Roman, the dramatic stage actor, the man who acted almost too much like a real-life prince.

Virgil was in love with him.

How would he respond?

Roman's eyes widened and he looked back at his phone, screen now dark. He unlocked his phone and stared at his conversation with Virgil. The text had been marked as read so Virgil must have known he'd seen it. He had to figure out how to reply.

Did Virgil want something to happen between them?

Roman didn't know.

Virgil sent the message as a text and didn’t include a caption. That could have been a way to say "I'm in love with you but I don't want anything to happen", since he wasn’t actually including anything that spoke of a desire to be with Roman romantically. However, it could just be that Virgil was an extremely anxious person and didn’t think he would be able to admit his feelings during an in-person interaction. If Virgil had been harboring feelings for an extended period, then it could be hard for him to say something directly to Roman after such a long time of keeping his feelings hidden.

A part of Roman figured that Virgil wasn't thinking ahead of this moment.

Virgil, as previously described, was anxious. He didn't seem like the type to expect or have intentions for their relationship after an admission like this. Virgil was the type of person to admit to romantic feelings and then spend every second following worrying over ruined friendships, offending someone, being mocked, getting insulted, and/or his feelings not being returned.

So, Roman concluded that Virgil wasn't conveying his intentions in this text. All he was saying was that he had feelings for him. Nothing more, nothing less.

'Nothing more'. 'Nothing more'?

Roman couldn't imagine what 'more' could possibly mean.

Virgil was in love with him.

'Love'. Something that seems so simple and sweet when you first hear it described as a young child, but something that grows to be meaningful, confusing, and complicated as you start to get older. And this love...this love was life-changing.

This was a love that had been burning for who knows how long, but that could have changed anything and everything had it been revealed sooner.

How many occasions were there where could Roman have said everything on his mind and Virgil would accept it, welcoming all his feelings? How many people did Roman date to get over Virgil that he didn't have to? How many nights in front of Virgil's door did he spend considering telling Virgil everything he felt before deciding against doing so were there? How many sleepless nights spent dreaming about what it would be like to be with him romantically did he entertain? All those things he might not have experienced at the extent he did if he'd gathered and exercised the courage Virgil currently seemed to possess...

Virgil watched as the text was marked as read. No response.

He supposed it was time for some courage of his own.

---

Virgil couldn't say with honesty that he expected anything different.

Roman was this marvelous, talented actor and Virgil was so not his type...

They were friends, though, and that mattered to Virgil. Their friendship meant the world and more to him. Maybe Virgil couldn't have his heart, hand, or lips—but he felt like he was the luckiest of people to be able to say Roman held him in positive regards. Their friendship was...

...their friendship.

Something Virgil was realizing with wide eyes and a sweater-pawed hand over his open mouth was ruined.

Sure, he considered this happening earlier, but he couldn't say he fully comprehended what it meant.

Roman, the light of his life...

...gone.

Or, at least, out of his life.

Sure, it was a friendship built on the ruins of malice, originally fueled not by each other but by mutual friends, and sustained by lies and obscurances of the truth committed by Virgil in an attempt to hide his true feelings. But it was still friendship. A friendship that meant more than anything else he had. A friendship he wasn’t sure he could deal with losing.

And he’d thrown it all away in one fell swoop. No more watching Roman’s plays at the theater, no more Disney marathons to fill the days off, no more meals of Roman’s signature chicken risotto made for his or one of their friend’s birthdays. The special comfort (whether it be after a series of panic attacks or a few angering minor inconveniences), the unique understanding Roman held and the techniques he used to make Virgil feel better during those terrifyingly vulnerable nights they shared was something that Virgil treasured beyond all else but still couldn’t fully comprehend the sacrality of. Those such nights would never again come to fruition.

Virgil wanted to yell. He wanted to scream, cry, throw the empty mug sitting three feet away on his nightstand at the wall. He didn’t, though, and he knew why. He didn’t...couldn’t regret sending Roman the text. Virgil knew he had to get over him, and that he had lied for too long. Roman deserved to know, no matter the consequences. Virgil loved Roman with all his heart, so it overwhelmed him with guilt to know he lied for such a long time. Virgil had been cruel to Roman that night the week before and he deserved to know why, even if it hurt their friendship. Maybe if he didn’t send the text things would eventually return to how they were and their relationship would continue as it always had with limited emotional complications, but Virgil would have to live day-in and day-out knowing that he was keeping information from Roman that after all these years of omitting information, his friend deserved to know.

Because there were so many nights of intimacy: of sobbing into the other’s chest with the lights out, or hands of varying temperatures drying tears, or screaming about a failed romantic relationship or the tragedy of infidelity in the aforementioned—ones that were too sacred to bring up during the day, too fragile that the moments would be shattered if they were approached with the attitude the two carried during a day of normalcy. Those nights meant more to Virgil than he let on. But the days after, he couldn’t help but feel guilty—like he’d taken something he didn’t pay for. He felt romantically for someone who didn’t return the feelings, and still allowing those moments of closeness to come to be felt like he was engaging in manipulation. He couldn’t help but entertain the nagging voice in the back of his mind that was convinced he was somehow violating Roman.

At least, with things the way they were now, Virgil would no longer have to deal with the guilt.

That didn't deter his ruthless anxiety, though. His thoughts were screaming about how everything with Roman was ruined, that all his other friends would leave him too, that Virgil would be miserable forever because he had lost the light in his life who was sometimes his sole reason for going. His hands were sweating and shaking violently. His phone almost fell from his hands at the instability. It was only fair for Roman to know, but gosh, did it hurt.

He steadied the phone in his hands and stared at the screen. His conversation with Roman was on his screen, staring back at him almost teasingly, torturously. It was like the phone or the app itself knew that this would be the last time he’d look at this texting conversation as someone who was still a friend of Roman. Soon, Roman would finally reply, and sever all ties. While Virgil was usually thankful he was someone who thought of all possible outcomes to a situation so that it was rare that an event caught him by surprise, in this situation, it only made it worse. He was sure it would probably be like suffering through heartbreak twice. The prediction beforehand, and then the real thing sometime later. He was experiencing the first right now, and the second had yet to come.

He knew that Heartbreak Number Two would feel worse.

Sure, he was feeling horrible presently, but he knew that the prediction wouldn’t be like the rejection. This heartbreak started with courage, then denial, then a realization that started to make Virgil’s hands shake and his heart beat uncontrollably. However, this was also a waiting game. When would he get rejected?

If Roman did end up waiting for a long time before delivering his rejection to Virgil, the pain would stretch out over a long time. If he waited for an extremely long time, the pain would slowly start to dull into a passive dread, with occasional spikes of anxiety. If Roman told him soon, Virgil would have less time to prepare for the rejection, so the pain would be much worse in the moment. Ultimately, the first was the worst. Extended emotional pain was not something Virgil needed, to say the least.

The text could come at any time, when it would send was not up to him. Virgil's fate and feelings were now in Roman's hands.

All Virgil wanted to do at this point was put his phone away, drench his face in ice water, and sleep for a thousand years. Neither of those things seemed to be possible, however, since Virgil could rarely seem to sleep for longer than seven hours and he currently couldn’t bring himself to put his phone down. His hands refused to let go of the instrument of his demise.

There were two warring thoughts of ‘is losing Roman really worth losing the ache in your heart?’ and ‘he deserves to know the truth’ circling in his mind. He tried to attach himself to the second thought in hopes of rationalizing losing the greatest person in his life. It was hard, though. What would Virgil do after this? Would he leave the friendship group? Or would things just be an awkward form of normal?

He was startled out of his thoughts by a quiet but concerning sound. When Virgil replayed the sound in his mind, it sounded like the clicking of a lock. The door to Virgil’s bedroom was ajar, so the door getting locked or unlocked was obviously the door to his apartment. Virgil distinctly remembered locking his front door.

Someone was breaking in.

Only four people had the keys to Virgil’s house. Virgil himself, for obvious reasons. Patton, Virgil’s best friend. That was a no-brainer; Patton and Virgil had keys to the other’s apartment because they often hung out in each other’s apartments without any warning or planning beforehand. Roman, after many instances of banging on the door at eleven at night because he had a terrible day and needed comfort but was also waking the neighbors with his loud knocking. Finally, Logan—the most recent person to receive a key (about six months back) after a harrowing experience of Virgil needing Logan’s specific comfort during a panic attack and Logan being unable to enter the apartment. Right now, it was late. Very, very late. Patton and Logan would be asleep. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t go to Virgil. He knew this. It wouldn’t be—could it be Roman?

No, no. Roman was too mad or disgusted or annoyed with him to seek his company at this late hour. Someone must have been breaking in.

The door opened. Virgil heard it; the loud creak he made sure to keep in the door’s design so he’d always be privy to an unplanned entry into his apartment. However, he soon realized he wouldn’t need that auditory warning of someone else’s presence.

He heard the footsteps.

They were fast, loud, and terrifying. What kind of burglar walks that quickly and obviously? A terrible one. Or, one confident in their ability to overpower whatever opposing forces they may meet in the home of their victim.

Virgil wanted to run to his closet and grab his broom. Truly, he did. But he was frozen in fear on his bed, phone tight in his hands, knuckles white, and eyes unblinking. He couldn’t move.

Virgil’s door was ajar. Opened enough for any unwelcome visitor to see that there was someone inside. If it was a robbery, the intruder could easily be armed and dangerous. Would Virgil die tonight?

The footsteps were approaching his room. Quickly, and without going anywhere else in the apartment. Virgil was suddenly worried that the intruder wasn’t a robber or a burglar, and instead, someone out to get him instead of his possessions. Virgil wasn’t sure if the change in his assessment of the situation scared him as much as it should have. The rapid change in train of thought from ‘Roman’ to ‘intruder’ wasn’t allowing the subsequent panic accompanying both of those thoughts to do much catching up.

The door to his room slammed open. Virgil was thrown back an inch from the force the intruder had placed on the door. This person was not concerned about noise. Virgil’s door was already ajar, why would they…

Virgil’s thoughts stopped when his eyes focused on the person now in his bedroom. His phone slipped from his fingers and onto the bed, not that Virgil cared to divert any attention to it.

Roman.

Not normal Roman, either. His eyes were wide, his hair was mussed, he was out of breath, and he was still holding the keys to Virgil’s apartment (which were on the same keyring as his car and house keys). Virgil, for all that he knew about his good friend, could not decipher the look on Roman’s face. It seemed a bit stressed, but not in a bad way. He had been running his hands through his hair, so a lot was obviously on his mind. Virgil almost wanted to say he was shocked, but it wasn’t quite like that. Almost like...he had been shocked a few minutes back and was coming to terms with what shocked him...which made sense. Virgil had told him he loved him. That must have been shocking. The lack of any other emotions like disgust or anger was what confused Virgil.

Virgil couldn’t help but be shocked too. What was Roman doing here? Virgil had confessed. Now it was time for him to hate Virgil for his feelings and ban him from the friend group.

Wait…

The keys were still in Roman’s hand. Maybe...maybe Roman was here to return Virgil’s keys. Maybe he was here to sever all ties with him. Return Virgil’s keys, take the keys to his apartment from Virgil, tell him their friendship was over…

Roman could be here to yell at him. Virgil had kept this from him for too long. Roman might have been here to scream that he deserved to know earlier. He’d be in the right, too, since Virgil agreed. One final scolding of his actions before Roman was out of his life forever.

But did those assumptions match the look on Roman’s face? Severing ties with someone you hate should have no lingering shock, and yelling should show more obvious negative emotions than Roman was currently displaying. Roman should look disgusted, irate, and probably betrayed as well. While Roman was a fantastic actor who could pull off hiding such things, Virgil didn’t think he’d try to hide emotions like that in the present situation.

Virgil was shocked too. He thought Roman would at least let some time pass before ending all pleasant connections with Virgil. He thought he’d take time to think and mull over what Virgil’s confession meant.

He hadn’t. This terrified Virgil. Had he come to a conclusion of hatred that quickly? Was Virgil that in the wrong? Virgil was mortified...what did that mean for Roman’s next actions?

But, again, Roman didn’t look angry. He had to be, Virgil knew it, but it wasn’t obvious on his features. So, that assumption couldn’t be taken as reality.

Virgil sat in awe at his current situation. Roman was here, probably to yell or scold him, but was silent so far. None of the conclusions Virgil had come to seemed to so far seemed to have enough evidential basis to be taken as truth. So, Virgil pressed pause on the speculation and let the only expression of his thoughts and emotions be surprise.

The love of his life was in his bedroom. For what? Virgil was uncertain.

They stared into each other’s eyes. Both were full of shock, just different kinds of it. Virgil was surprised Roman was in his room—not exactly a positive kind of surprise either. Roman’s shock, while clearly something that was at its climax minutes back, was still showing on his features. A type of shock that, unlike Virgil’s, was indecipherable when it came to whether it was a good shock or a bad shock.

Virgil didn’t know how long they were still and staring. It could have been fifteen seconds; it also could have been fifteen minutes. While it was probably around two minutes, time passed differently when Virgil’s green and purple eyes were locked with Roman’s brown eyes.

Virgil knew he wasn’t just showing surprise. There was no way the fear wasn’t seeping into his expression as well. He didn’t try to stop it because he knew that if he did try, he would fail. Virgil wished he knew what Roman was thinking—wished he knew whether he should be scared or not. Roman didn’t look scared, not like Virgil did. Maybe Roman hadn’t noticed. Virgil was able to tell with bitter realization that he was more scared now than when he thought there was someone in his house trying to kill him. Sure, he’d been relieved at first, but that didn’t last for more than a second. Whatever Roman was here to do seemed worse than anything a malicious stranger could potentially have in mind.

Roman finally moved. He took a step and a half towards the bed, towards Virgil.

Virgil flinched back, right arm darting behind him and holding him up in a position that made it easy for him to leap off the bed. Roman stopped his approach.

Virgil didn’t mean to flinch, but he was too deep in his surprise and fear to do anything else. When he noticed his own movement, he was overwhelmed with regret. He wanted to get this interaction over with. Creating drama by showing his current fear of Roman wasn’t going to help with that.

Roman suddenly showed emotion other than shock on his face. His eyes started to burn with sympathy and guilt, something that confused Virgil to no end. If anything, Roman should have become angrier. Why was he showing guilt at someone he should be hating?

Roman dropped his keys. The clinking that sounded as they fell on the hardwood floor didn’t elicit any reaction from either of them. They continued to keep eye contact.

After a moment free of any movement, Roman started to approach Virgil again, this time slower and much more careful, like one approaches a terrified animal in the forest. Roman was clearly a bit hurt by Virgil’s flinching, but his present focus seemed to be on the fear that Virgil would do it again—or worse, run away. His steps were slow and quiet. His posture was a bit crouched, probably as an effort to seem less threatening.

Virgil’s teeth clenched. He didn’t want to flinch again since Roman hadn’t actually done anything to imply that he would hurt Virgil, and also because flinching would only complicate things further. Nonetheless, Virgil was scared of what Roman was preparing to do. While Virgil rarely addressed it, he’d always found Roman to be scarier than the average person. He was tall, fairly muscular, and had a temper that could do some damage when Roman wanted it to. His strength was scary and his words were scarier; he reminded Virgil of Janus in that he was good at knowing precisely what to say to bring someone emotional agony. Any preparation for being hurt by Roman was useless; he knew Virgil better than Virgil would like to admit, making it that much easier for Roman to hurt him.

Roman’s left hand reached towards him. Virgil would have flinched if his hand was in a position to strike. It wasn’t, though—it was mirroring the scared animal in the forest analogy; the extended arm was almost serving as a gesture of peace, a white flag. Virgil thought that Roman was offering Virgil his hand to take and he intended to move away, but he didn’t need to. Instead, Roman’s hand gently rested on his upper right side. His eyes looked like he was asking for permission, if his touch was okay, but Virgil could not respond. His eyes stayed on him with surprise and fear.

This touch was too gentle to be malicious. That fact was clear to Virgil, so he couldn’t jump off the bed and escape without feeling guilty. Virgil didn’t necessarily want the touch either; he didn’t dislike Roman’s hand being there, but it felt wrong, like it shouldn’t be happening. And with all the common sense Virgil had, it shouldn’t. Virgil didn’t expect Roman to touch him, even after he unexpectedly broke in. But if he did, Virgil wouldn’t expect the touch to be anything but hostile. Virgil almost hoped his confusion showed in his eyes.

Roman’s right hand reached out as well. Faster than the left had, but still moving at a careful pace. This arm went around Virgil’s waist. Then, Roman started to almost pick him up and lead him to the edge of the bed. Virgil was simultaneously terrified and embarrassed at being carried, so before Roman could properly pick him up, Virgil moved himself to the edge of the bed.

Roman’s lips twisted into what looked like one of Roman’s subtle but encouraging smiles, which again bewildered Virgil. The arm around his waist retreated and rested just above Virgil’s hip. Roman guided Virgil to his feet.

Roman clearly wanted Virgil at the same level as him—standing up. Out of context, that made sense. Virgil had shown fear of Roman, so if Roman didn’t want Virgil to feel inferior at the moment, leaving him sitting wasn’t exactly a good idea. What perplexed Virgil was that in this situation, it made sense for Roman to keep a high ground and a dominating stance. He must’ve been (he had to be) mad at Virgil. Even though that conclusion was growing less and less probable through Roman’s every action, it was the only thought keeping Virgil sane.

Roman’s left hand moved from Virgil’s side to rest on his cheek. Virgil froze, thinking he was about to be hit for a split second but was again proven wrong. Roman’s thumb brushed under Virgil’s eye—Virgil would say it was loving but that was preposterous. Virgil wanted to close his eyes, to bask in the feeling of being touched like this (no one was ever this sweet and gentle with him in a manner that would be considered romantic out of context), but he was too preoccupied and scared and surprised and confused and-

“Virgil,” said Roman. It was quiet, tender, and held more love than Virgil believed to be possible. “Virgil, mi luna.”

Virgil had no idea what that meant. He didn’t think he wanted to know.

“I love you too.”

Virgil inhaled sharply. Not too loud (he didn’t want to ruin the delicacy of the moment), but it was still audible.

Roman loved him too. Roman returned his feelings.

That didn’t make sense. Not in the slightest. Roman had shown no interest; Virgil was positive there was no reciprocation of his feelings…

But that didn’t matter now. He had to reply.

He saw Roman start to move in closer, slowly, allowing Virgil time to object. Virgil didn’t, letting the gravitational pull of Roman’s lips allow Virgil to reciprocate Roman’s intentions to kiss.

“May I kiss you, moonlight?” Roman murmured.

“Yes,” whispered Virgil, voice practically silent.

Roman’s lips met his—first, a gentle and unsure brush of lips, but then a firmer and more intent kiss. It was gentle, caring, but most of all, it was full of love.

He smiled against Roman’s lips. Roman smiled too and kissed him deeper.

Virgil couldn’t say he wasn’t still baffled by everything going on in the present. That wasn’t to say he wasn’t happy about the way things turned out.

~~~ ☪ ~~~

“Earth is ugly,” said the stars to the moon. “It does not deserve your light.”

“Maybe so,” replied the moon. “But have you considered that you are too far away to see its beauty?”

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff @neo-neo-neo @fander-fic-recs

I know that little bit at the end is a bit extra and unnecessary, but I thought it up one time and it has some ‘deeper’ meaning I liked as well as relation to the metaphors in the story. I deeply considered not posting this one because of how different it is to the usual and the minimal dialogue, but I sent it to a beta who loved it! I’ve been stirring in the idea of Virgil confessing with this song for probably 6+ months and only decided to start writing it in October. It might be bad but I hope you enjoyed! I’ve been working on this on and off for months so I really hope it’s good.

#prinxiety #sanders sides fanfiction #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts fanfic #tell me if there's any more warnings I forgot to include!#or if you see a typo lol call me out on it #romantic prinxiety #fic #murder mention tw #songfic #kill writes

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