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yourchemicallyimbalancedromance · 6 months

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Burned Bridges

Summary: Virgil runs into a wasted Janus at a party that his best friend, Roman, is throwing on Halloween night. A locked door forces them to confront their heavy past.

Ships: past analogical, present prinxiety

CW/TW: Alcohol, smoking, homophobia and bullying, Human!Virgil, Human!Remus (mentioned), Human!Roman, Human!Remy (mentioned), Human!Janus, Human!Logan (mentioned), unsympathetic Virgil, unsympathetic Janus, sympathetic Roman

It was October 31st and instead of binge watching horror movies by himself in the dark of his room, Virgil found himself standing in the corner of his childhood bestfriends house, early 2000’s pop music blasting in the background. He hadn’t dressed up and hundreds of people were bobbing up and down in a sea of red plastic cups, costumes, and glow stick bracelets, screaming the lyrics that came out of the speakers Roman had bought. He’d forced Virgil to go with him to buy them after begging him to come to the party because, in his words, “you never get out of the house, it’ll be fun! Especially if you meet a cute guy”

Virgil laughed after he said this, only responded with “yeah, whatever you say, Roman.”

Tequila suffocated anything that represented a pleasant smell out of the room. He was holding a drink himself, taking sips of it occasionally; not because it tasted good—at all—but because he had a hunch he wouldn’t want to remember the events of tonight.

His throat burned. He knew he wasn’t supposed to sip Tequila, normally he chugged it, but he liked the distraction of the pain and the warmth that filled him after every taste.

He desperately looked around for a familiar face. Last he saw Roman was when the party had started four hours earlier. It was now 2 AM and he had done nothing but drink, take shots with Remus and a few of his friends, be forced to dance by Remy, and stand in the corner waiting for it all to be over.

He chugged the rest of his drink and stood there for a moment, sinking in the environment around him, ultimately deciding to hide in the bathroom until the party was over. He took a few shaky steps into the crowd of people, shoving past drunks and the occasional stoner. He never really understood why Roman hung out with these kind of people, he honestly doubted that he knew most of the people in his house anyway.

He found his way to the bathroom and shoved it open, quickly closing and locking it, sitting on the cold tile floor.

In his rush, he hadn’t noticed Janus, wearing a Harry Potter costume, who was also sitting on the floor.

“Fuck, Sorry I didn’t know you were—“

Janus cuts him off “Vrrrrrrgggllll” he laughs, the name on his tongue slurring together.

“Look I didn’t know you were in here, I’ll just leave.” He states bluntly, getting up to open the door, wishing he still had his drink, he really didn’t want to remember this. He tried to force down his unresolved anger but it came out sharp in his voice.

“Vir-gil,” Janus hiccups “can I tell youuuu a secret?”

Virgil tries to unlock the door but it’s jammed, no matter how hard he pulls or twists the knob, it won’t budge. He sinks back down to the floor, annoyed. “Whatever Janus, sure” he says

“I think you’re still angry at me” he blurts out, giggling a bit, eyes drooping.

“Yeah, I am. You fucked me over, really bad. Who wouldn’t be.” he spits. He had his knees to his chest, his back to the door, trying to stay as far away from Janus as he could.

Janus struggled to stand up, grabbing onto the shower curtain and slipping, falling back down, pulling the curtain and rod down with him. Janus just giggled. “Oops.” was all he said.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Fucking hell, Janus. Can you stop being a nuisance for two minutes?” He screams.

Janus looks at him for a moment before registering what he said, mumbling a “sorry”

With anyone else, Virgil would’ve felt sorry for yelling, but Janus was the exception. He deserved it, worse than that even.

“You ruined the one good thing I had and you expect me to feel fucking sorry for you?” He snaps.

“I-“ Janus hiccups “I didn’t mean to” the light and carelessness in his eyes from earlier, gone. Now replaced with only a hint of it behind dull pupils.

“Yeah?, well you did. You think ganging up on me and Logan didn’t fucking ruin our relationship? You think the constant harassment inside and outside of Uni wasn’t fucking enough for me to have atleast a little bit of anger towards you?” he was practically screeching but he didn’t care, the music would cover it anyway.

Janus was staring at him, almost emotionless apart from the look in his eyes, which were starting to water.

Virgil got up to try the door again when Roman suddenly opened it, looking from Virgil to Janus and then Virgil again. He gave him a “what the actual hell is going on????” look and Virgil just shook his head, shoved past Roman and into the crowd.

Roman stared at Janus for a minute, taking notice of the curtain and curtain rod astray on the floor. He didn’t say anything, just closed the door and ran after Virgil.

———————————————————————

After a few minutes of searching inside, he found Virgil in his front yard, sitting on the stairs, smoking a cigarette.

He sat down next to him and a thick silence hung between them. Virgil blew out smoke into the cold air before clearing his throat. “He was acting like we were best friends again, can you believe it?” He laughed in exasperation.

Roman could believe it, Janus had always been an asshole in College and even before that, that was kinda his thing, which was why he was surprised when Virgil had suddenly decided to become friends with him one day.

“He’s so funny dude, like literally one of the best people I’ve ever met” he had said

Roman had just smiled and laughed in return, knowing how awful he was to his other friends.

Roman didn’t say anything this time either, just shook his head.

“I hate him so much, Ro. He’s awful. He ruined everything. Logan hasn’t spoken to me in almost a year because of the shit he pulled before we graduated.”

Roman sighed, “I know, Virg…but he’s not necessarily known for being a good person, I thought you knew that” he says softly.

Virgil took a drag of his cigarette and breathed out, “obviously not.” He said a little annoyed.

Immediately he regretted it. “Sorry” he said, tapping his cigarette and letting the ashes fall.

Roman gave him a reassuring smile, “it’s okay”

Virgil put his cigarette on the concrete step they were sat on, getting rid of its light and throwing the butt into the grass. He put his head in his hands. “Life’s rough, man. I don’t even miss him anymore I’m just upset because he made me really, really happy. Sometimes…I feel like it’s my fault? for introducing him to Janus.”

“It’s not your fault at all. It’s his. Honestly? I don’t even know why he’s here. I didn’t invite him, someone else probably did.“ Roman says the last part sheepishly, a little ashamed that he let Janus in his house with his best friend that he hurt irreversibly.

Virgil turns to Roman, staring at him longingly in the eyes. They were beautiful. Hazel with green specks around the edges. Maybe it was the tequila, or his exhaustion, or his desperation to feel loved by someone, but he slowly moved a hand to Romans face.

“Can I?” He whispered

Roman looked at him for a moment, weighing his options. He did like Virgil, but what if he was doing this in a drunken haze? What if he was just using him to get over Logan? He didn’t believe he was truly over their relationship just yet.

Despite these fears, Roman shook his head and their lips locked. He let himself melt into it, let himself enjoy the moment. He tasted of alcohol, honey lavender tea, and Marlboro Reds.

After a moment, Virgil pulled away; A look of blissful happiness on his face.

Roman was still holding onto the moment, staring through Virgil.

He looked at him, worried. “oh god I’m so sorry did you not want—“

Roman interrupted him, “No! no I did..I really, really did.” He smiled, genuinely.

Virgil returned it, “That’s good.”

Roman paused for a second “so…does this mean we’re dating?..” he asked “cause you’re drunk and I just don’t want-“

Virgil took Romans hands in his. “I’m just a little tipsy, Honey, but I know what I want, and what I want is this.” he says gently.

“Okay.” Roman responds, hopeful.

“I’m gonna head home, alright? Text me, I’ll respond as soon as I can” Virgil says

“I will, love” he says. The nickname feels odd leaving his lips, especially being used on someone who’s been his friend for 22 years, but he says it anyway.

Virgil gets in his car and pauses.

Romans phone dings after a minute or two and he takes it out of his pocket, reading the message before watching Virgil’s car leave his driveway.

Virgil<3: “I promise I want this, and I want you. Some tequila and a little heartbreak doesn’t change that. 💜”

Roman smiles, puts his phone back in his pocket, and goes back inside.

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thatgenderlessentity · 1 year

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Virgil- *to Janus* He'll know your past, how susceptible you are. You're a liability.

Remus- He's not a liability. He's a survivor. Unlike you, he's turned his dark experiences into a source of strength, not an excuse for being judgmental or hurting those around him. He also saved your life. *to Janus* Sorry, would you like to add anything?

Janus- No, that about covers it.

Source: DC's Legends of Tomorrow

#sanders sides #sanders sides incorrect quotes #ts remus #remus sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #source: DC's Legends of Tomorrow #unsympathetic virgil #platonic dukeceit #dukeceit #romantic dukeceit #ts dukeceit

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crows-ace · 3 months

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@amazon-me-bitches

Instead of writing updates, I started a new story uwu

#adult only content #unsympathetic virgil #unsympathetic remus #abused roman sanders #crow writes #remrom #prinxiety

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cavalrysystem · 2 months

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How Janus got his scars.

Tw: abuse, graphic depictions of violence, unsympathetic!Virgil, blood and gore.

(Fic under the cut)

The argument had started off so small.

Janus had been telling Virgil he wanted Virgil to stop drinking, and to put the bottle of bourbon down.

"You fucking slut!" Virgil screamed, smashing the bottle against the wall. He stared at Janus, face flushed from drinking, vision blurry.

Janus flinched when the bottle shattered, and put his hands up, palms out, to show he meant no harm. "Virgil, my love, please- you've burned through three bottlessss alrea-"

"Shut up!" Virgil screamed, grabbing Janus by the hair and forcing him to come closer, a clump of Janus's hair falling after he slammed the broken end of the bottle into Janus's eye.

Janus stumbled back, hands touching his face. Cold blood began to pour from around his eye, and the side of his mouth. He breathing shakily and looked up at Virgil. "Virgil, I'm ssssorry! But you can't keep doing thissss!"

Virgil grabbed Janus by the neck.

"Virgil, ssstop!" Janus cried, as Virgil sliced open his human cheek with the end of the broken bottle.

"You don't fucking talk to me like that, you whore." Virgil threw Janus to the ground and kicked him. "Don't get blood on my fucking carpet." He spat on Janus, and walked off.

Laying there, hands pressed to the wounds on his face, Janus began crying. But only from his human eye. Snakes can't cry, after all. He slowly sits up, taking a shuddering breath and using his extra hands to push himself up. The young deceitful side felt his way to the bathroom, turned on the sink, and splashed his face with water.

Dark crimson blood stained the marble countertop and the steel inside of the sink. Janus placed his gloved hands, now stained with blood, on the counter and looked in the mirror, eyes still wide. He was met with the sight of blood pouring down his face, his hair ruined from Virgil pulling out a massive clump of it.

He felt frozen, staring at his reflection. His vision began to grow spotty, and he quickly finished cleaning the blood off his face. He searched the cabinets for a healing plant or potion or something- he found a bundle of the plant Remus had discovered in the imagination that would heal wounds. He untied the bundle and ate the plants quickly, slowly starting to calm down.

He checked his phone. Another apology text from Virgil. Janus wiped the tears off his cheeks and cleaned the sink and countertop.

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5am-the-foxing-hour · 2 years

Conversation

Unsymp Virgil: Ah my... friends.

Janus: Friends? *chuckles* I thought he said we were the enemy?

Orange: Yeah. That's what I heard~

Janus and Orange: Remus?

Remus: *dark laughter while conjuring his morning star*

#Sanders Sides #Janus #Remus #Virgil #Orange side #unsympathetic virgil #incorrect quotes #shitpost

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prodigal-explorer · 10 months

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evening star - sanders sides fanfiction - ii

(let me know if you want to be on the tag list!)

previous part | next part

word count: 2.4k

(cw -> whump, unsympathetic!patton, unsympathetic!virgil, dehumanization, pet whump, collars, physical abuse, violence, muzzles, cages, starvation)

summary: roman belongs to patton and virgil now. he isn't his own person anymore, he doubts he even is a person. he tries to follow the rules, but he fails once again. mistake after mistake leads to punishment.

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Rule three: Don’t speak except to obey orders.

Roman had rules one through ten memorized. Those were the important ones. He tried to memorize all of them, but there were so many that he started mixing them up, and he eventually gave up. It was easier to figure out what Patton liked and only do that, instead of constantly risking doing something he didn’t like.

“Aww, come here, Puppy!” Patton cooed, and Roman entered the living room, walking on all fours as he did.

Virgil was watching, but the embarrassment that came with walking this way had long faded. It was rule seven, after all. Pets don’t walk like people do. The amused glint in Virgil’s eyes caused a visual shudder throughout Roman, and the pair sitting on the couch exchanged a glance and tittered with laughter, as if Roman was a toddler who was doing something silly, like bouncing or putting his foot in his mouth.

Roman slowly moved so he was sitting in between Patton and Virgil, and Patton tousled his hair, continuing to tangle it up. Pets don’t brush their own hair. That was rule…something. It was in the twenties somewhere. Either way, Roman’s hair would be a hopeless, tangled mess until Patton had the mercy to brush it for him.

After three months of this without Patton even mentioning it, Roman had a feeling it would never happen.

It had all happened so suddenly. One night, Patton snatched Roman from his bed, and forced the collar around his neck, snapping it in place. He told Roman the rules, over and over, and at first, Roman didn’t take them seriously. He thought Patton was kidding around.

But then, Patton inflicted his first punishment. Roman still had the scars.

When Roman realized that Patton was serious about turning him into a human pet, he rushed to tell Virgil what was going on, hoping for some guidance or protection. But Virgil beamed when he heard the news, and now, Roman belonged to him too.

Roman regretted ever giving Virgil a reason to do this to him.

Now, he was sitting, obediently looking up at both of his “owners”. The word put such a bad taste in his mouth, but that was what they were to him now. They told him what to do, and he did it. That was that. They fed him, and bathed him, and put him to bed.

“Yes, Patton?” he asked quietly, avoiding eye contact with Virgil at all costs.

Patton was the one who gave most of the orders, but Virgil was the scary one. Virgil had even worse punishments than Patton, and he relished in the victory of reducing Roman to a broken, bloody mess.

“Hi, Puppy! Oh, you’re so cute!” Patton squealed, “Okay. Here’s what I want now. I want you to go to my room and get me the leash.”

Roman’s face paled, and his breathing grew shallower. Patton laughed at the panicked expression on his pet’s face.

“Don’t worry, I’m not using it on you,” Patton chuckled, “It’s broken. The handle is coming off, and I need to fix it. Get me the sewing kit too, pretty please!”

Roman crawled off, scrambling out of the room as quickly as he could. Every moment he could have away from Virgil was one he was going to take. And if he obeyed Patton quickly enough, it delighted his owner. By now, he found the trip from the living room to Patton’s room easy, as he had done it so many times. He pushed the door open with his shoulder and looked around, trying to find the leash.

Patton’s room was messy. Very, very messy. Filled with memorabilia from the back corners to the wall beside the door. Roman could barely pad through without stepping on something.

The sewing kit was easy to find, just sitting on top of Patton’s desk next to a scarf Patton had made a few days ago. Roman picked up the kit with his teeth and held it in his mouth, seeing as it was rather small. He knew that was how Patton wanted him to hold it. Now, he had to find the leash.

The leash was only really used for punishment. It was used when Roman was being bad, and Patton had to tie him up outside overnight. It was also used when Roman couldn’t be trusted on his own, and would be dragged around by Patton or Virgil all day, going wherever they did.

Roman didn’t really want it to be fixed. But his opinion didn’t matter to Patton or Virgil. His obedience did.

He continued looking around, digging through the piles of stuff to try and find the leash. Where had Patton put it? Where did it go? Roman knew that he would get in trouble if he came back without it. He couldn’t handle another punishment after just healing from his last one. Roman was desperate to show Patton that he could be good.

So he kept looking. And looking.

But the leash was nowhere in sight.

Fear started clawing at Roman’s chest as he searched even closer, touching each object to make sure it wasn’t the leash before setting it aside. He started to grow more desperate, turning Patton’s room upside down in search of the thing. He couldn’t get in trouble again. He just couldn’t.

“Well, well. Look what we have here? I thought Patton told you to find the leash. Not trash his room.”

That voice, that deep, rumbling voice that oozed with an endless amusement for the sadistic wasn’t Patton’s. Patton’s was bubbly and bouncy to the point where Roman could at least pretend he was saying good things. But this wasn’t Patton.

Roman turned around and forced himself to look at Virgil, the sewing kit falling out of his mouth as he rushed to defend himself.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, starting to back up, “I couldn’t find the leash- I got scared. I thought I would get in trouble.”

“Well, you’re right about that,” Virgil sneered, moving closer to Roman, “But now you’re in even more trouble. You think Patton will appreciate having a messy room? He’s going to be so disappointed when he sees what you’ve done.”

“Please-” Roman stammered quickly, “Please don’t tell him. Please. I’ll clean it up. Let me clean it up, I promise, it’ll look just like it did before I came in.”

“What’s rule three, Puppy?” Virgil asked, borrowing Patton’s nickname.

The action made Roman nauseous. He immediately went silent and bowed his head. Virgil grabbed Roman’s collar and dragged him by it, out the door and down the hallway. Roman moved with Virgil, knowing that resisting would only create a choking sensation that would make his panic even worse.

His eyes were glued to the floor. He couldn’t face Patton after what he had done, and his entire body was trembling, knowing that a punishment was going to come. Patton’s punishments were bad, and Virgil’s punishments were worse. But when both of them punished him together, it was the worst of all.

Soon enough, Roman was picked up and placed onto the couch. It was rare that Roman was allowed on the couch. He allowed himself to sink into the warmth and comfort of the cushions, knowing that he was going to be very miserable very soon. Might as well enjoy something nice while he could.

“What did you do, cutie pie?” Patton asked, tilting Roman’s chin up so Roman was looking at him, “Tell me. Lying won’t make things any better for you.”

“I…” Roman’s throat felt closed. He couldn’t speak.

“Don’t just stare at him,” Virgil said, pinching the back of Roman’s neck, causing him to squeak. “Answer his question.”

“I couldn’t find the leash!” Roman whined, bursting into tears. “I tried, I tried so hard, and I- I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to mess up your room!”

“You messed up my room?” Patton asked, standing up, “Let me see.”

He took an agonizingly long time walking down the hallway, opening the door to his room, processing what was inside, closing the door, and walking back. His expression was calm, but Roman could see by the stiffness in his motions and his pale face that Patton was anything but. He continued to wail, as if it would grant him any pity.

“Virgil, please shut him up,” Patton said sweetly, “He’s giving me a headache with all that noise.”

Virgil obliged gladly, going into his room and taking out a muzzle-like thing that snapped around Roman’s head, keeping him from speaking or even making much sound at all with his voice. It was perfect for Patton and Virgil, since it kept Roman so quiet during punishments. They didn’t want Logan finding out the full extent of their favorite hobby. They didn’t know whether or not he would care enough for Roman’s well-being to put a stop to it, but they weren’t going to run the risk.

Roman clawed at the muzzle with his hands, trying to pry it off, but he knew it wouldn’t work. His body was trembling madly, to the point where he couldn’t even hold himself upright anymore. Muffled apologies that couldn’t move past his lips streamed continuously as Virgil picked up Roman, carrying him to his bedroom. Roman struggled in Virgil’s hold, but he was weak with fear, and Virgil was a lot stronger than him anyway.

Virgil held onto Roman even tighter, and grabbed his jaw with one hand, able to hold his body up with only one arm.

“If you keep squirming like this, we’re gonna have a problem,” he practically growled, “You were a bad dog. Own up to it.”

Roman sniffled and sobbed, the muzzle suffocating him slightly as he stared at Virgil with round, tear-filled eyes. Virgil eventually threw down Roman’s head, continuing to carry him until they were at Virgil’s room. There, he threw Roman onto the ground and kicked his side.

“You’re going in the cage,” Virgil glowered, “Go on. Get in. Unless you want me to drag you.”

The threat was what got Roman moving. He collapsed a few times, but he got up slowly and continued to crawl to the large dog crate that was under Virgil’s bed. Being in Virgil’s room for too long wasn’t good for any side. It created anxious thoughts that only grew more and more intense the longer one was inside. Which made it the perfect place to torture Roman.

Once Roman was inside the cage, Virgil closed it and locked it, using a key. When he used a combination lock, Roman figured out the combination and escaped.

He regretted that stunt.

The cage was small, and when Virgil shoved it farther under the bed, Roman whimpered and huddled into a ball, continuing to scratch at his muzzle. He didn’t care what the rules were anymore. He was desperate for someone to help him. The cage walls seemed to be closing in on him, and Roman was sure that he was going to die in Virgil’s room under his bed. Unable to make noise with his voice, he banged on the cage with his arms, trying to make some kind of noise to alert somebody, even if it was Patton. Maybe Patton would say that Virgil’s punishment was too harsh and let him go.

Roman wanted to tell Logan. But when he told Virgil, he turned on him. What if Logan did the same thing? Patton kept dropping hints about how much Logan would love to join in on the fun, watching Roman struggle and suffer with all of the impossible demands he had to comply with.

Roman was barely hanging on with Virgil and Patton.

Logan was smart. Roman was sure he would be able to come up with punishments that Patton and Virgil hadn’t even considered.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Roman continued banging on the cage walls, even though he knew he would regret it if one of the light sides discovered him. It made a rattling sound that wasn’t exactly loud, but it wasn’t quiet either.

He thought he could hear something else coming from the room next door. The room that Roman recognized as his own. That was strange. He hadn’t been in his room in days, since his most recent punishment had been sleeping next to Patton. It wasn’t that bad of a punishment, but it had been hard to sleep when he was being cuddled and squeezed like his breathing wasn’t a concern.

For a moment, Roman stopped his noise so he could listen to what was going on. It didn’t just sound like talking. It sounded like yelling. And the voice he could easily pick out was Patton, but there was another voice that was harder to recognize.

Roman tried his best to listen, but the voices were so far that he could only hear a word or two per sentence. And when they went quieter than a yell, Roman couldn’t hear any of it. None of it made sense, and when the voices died down and eventually stopped, Roman realized with burning frustration that he had no idea what the argument had been about, or who it had been with.

But he didn’t have a lot of time to think about it. The door to Virgil’s room opened, and Roman stayed still and silent, sitting on his knees so whoever lifted the sheet would see that he was being good and obedient.

When the sheet did lift, Roman looked up to see Patton, staring at him with a benevolent smile as he carefully opened the cage door, sliding a bowl of food inside. Roman grew excited, but as he tried to eat it, he realized that the muzzle was keeping him from eating too. He looked at Patton again, and gently pawed at the wall to try and get his attention.

“Oh? What’s wrong, puppy?” Patton asked, before cooing softly, “Aww, you can’t eat it? Maybe if you hadn’t been so bad, you would be eating right now.”

He giggled and pulled down the sheet, once again shrouding Roman in darkness as he whined and banged on the cage wall again.

Inside the bowl was some ground chicken, green peas, and even a little piece of red candy. The sight of it was taunting. This was Roman’s fifth day without a meal, and it pained him to think that if he had only stopped crying quicker, he would have finally been able to eat.

Roman curled up once again in the cage, shutting his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at the food. He could still smell it, but there wasn’t much he could do about that in such a small space. For what felt like the hundredth time that day, he felt tears form in his eyes, and he hiccuped and sobbed until at last, his eyes fell closed and he fell asleep.

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scenecipriano · 2 years

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Patton meeting Remus for the first time: *bows* I'm Patton it is nice-

Virgil: *smacks him* Don't bow to him, he bows to us! Idiot-

Patton: Oh... I'm sorry father

Virgil to himself happily: I'm so good at daddying!

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders mentioned #unsympathetic virgil #source: helluva boss

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spooky-sanders-fan · 1 year

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If You Like Major Angst

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688932

Me and the amazing @scenecipriano have been working on this a while XD It uses Desmond instead of Janus cause we began this before the reveal - way back in 2020. It’s pretty intense in terms of angst but! Give it a go if you like that stuff?

#sanders sides #angst #tw rape #cause #uh #yeah #it does have that in it #unsympathetic remy #unsympathetic patton #unsympathetic virgil #unsympathetic remus #a lot of #unsympathetic characters

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fakeloveaskblog · 2 years

Note

(Hi, me again. Once again trying to reason with Virgil like the bleeding heart I am. Sorry for the constant asks I am very invested in this story and desperately want everyone to have a happy ending.)

Hi Virgil it’s the drug ghost. I wanted to say thank you for listening to me and not just dismissing what I had to say immediately on principle. I think you are right about you and Remy holding on to each other to hard and that having a few days apart is a really good idea. It will give you both some time to breathe and process everything that has happened between you two recently.

I’m afraid to say that taking a few days apart won’t be enough to repair your relationship but it is a start. To fix a relationship this badly damaged it will take a lot of time, effort, communication and some clear boundaries. Once again I’d strongly recommend therapy for both you and Remy, individual sessions for you both to work on your own issues as well as couples therapy to help improve your relationship.

One thing I’d like you to take into consideration is if this relationship is worth salvaging, you said that your whole life revolves around Remy and that it’s been like that ever since you were fifteen. That isn’t healthy, for you or for them. It’s important that you have an identity outside of being Remy’s boyfriend and that you aren’t entirely dependent on them to give your life meaning.

You also said you want them to feel safe and happy with you. I want you to look at your relationship and ask yourself, “are they safe with me? Do they feel happy with me?” If the answer to those questions is no then should you be together? Is that fair to them? I also want you to ask yourself if you’re happy with them? Because you don’t sound happy, you sound like you are scared of losing them because you don’t know who you are without them. Do you deserve that? Are either of you happy in this relationship? Is it truly worth salvaging? Or is it time to do something that will hurt you now but will help both of you be much happier in the future. It sounds harsh and I get why you’re reluctant to do so, but is it worth all the hurt and pain that you’re causing just to stay in a relationship that no one is happy in?

I’m not saying this to hurt you I only want to help, I hope you can see the merit of what I’m saying and that no matter what you end up doing I hope thet you do it with both yours and Remy’s best interests at heart.

(Not related to the blog but I just found a song that has been giving me tones of serotonin and I’ve spent the past two days listening to it on loop while jumping around and hand flapping like crazy. I wanted to share it with someone so I’ll just put it here.)

Tw: Mentions of abuse, mentions of drug use, there is a short paragraph of plushie violence :( im sorry

At first you couldn't see Virgil. The bedroom looked like it was straight from 2007 with the band posters plastered across the purple walls. The blinds were rolled down over the sole window and the majority of the belongings in the childhood room had been put aside into boxes. The bed had quickly been fixed up with a childish The nightmare before Christmas pillow and blanket set.

A blanket lump laid curdled up in the bed. The room warmed as your presence became more solid. The blanket lump shifted and Virgil's face appeared. His eyes were red from tears and his cheeks were stale with rubbed out snot. He hadn’t particularly enjoyed having enough free time to process what he’d done.

He groaned "A ghost? Here!? Have you put a gps signal in my brain or something. Fuck off!"

He was clearly trying to force on an intimidating look but he failed completely since he was wearing a fuzzy skeleton onesie and was clutching an old worn out spider plushie to his chest.

"Whatever" He rolled his eyes "blah blab you're welcome”

He squeezed the plushie a little harder as you began to speak.

“I got time. I got effort. I got a mouth, I can communicate” He muttered out “I can- we can fix this. I’m not Against therapy. I- it was probably kind of stupid of me to to force Remy out of it. It was really stupid. They have issues! I know that! I know that so fucking well! I- I felt them slipping away from me and I just got so afraid. They’ve- I was there! I know that they have stuff they have to work through! With like professionals! I know! I know it was a stupid thing to do! I know!! You don’t have to keep saying it! I know! I know!”

At the end he was moreso talking to his own thoughts than to you. He was holding up his hands mid air, they were half clutched like he was about to punch someone. They were shaking like all he could feel was fear.

“I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I didn’t have Remy. Saying goodbye to them would be like pulling out my own lungs. You can’t just except a guy to just suddenly start living without ever breathing!”

His foot was tapping into the ground at breakneck speed while he kept fiddling with the plushie’s soft spider legs between his fingers.

“Like isn’t love supposed to be...meeting the one and and it’s like you fit so well together it’s like you slowly become one and then you live happily ever after and you’re never alone ‘cause they’re a part of you....is it really so bad to want love to be the meaning of my life...I have interests...I’m a person outside of Remy...I just.....I don’t think it’s so bad if I let most of my happiness come from them and their happiness from me...i wanna take care of them for like forever”

He looked up and nodded when you said that he wanted Remy to be safe and happy. Somehow his expression turned even more miserable as you continued.

“are they safe with me? are they happy?” He mumbled out through half gritted teeth.

He stood up from the bed. The blanket stayed around his shoulders as he went over to open the window. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. The smoke rose out into the icy air.

A mixture of emotions slowly passed over his face as the minutes ticked by. He’d gotten so lost in thought the cigarette stayed forgotten between his tightly clenched fingers.

“I’m ruining them” He finally let out. He turned and looked directly at you “I’m ruining them but they would be worse off without me. They Need me! Who’s gonna take care of them if not me? Those other fuckers can’t be trusted! No one will love Remy like I do! No one understands them like I do! No matter how much I’m hurting them they would be worse off without me! You get that!? You get it don’t you!?”

He let out a muffled groan and pressed the cigarette down against the window sill to put it out. He slammed the window shut and sunk down onto the floor.

"They- When we were in high school they would always- they- Remy was high a Lot of the time or like drunk or something. And And I never knew! It was a lot of like xanax and oxy and i just thought they were sleepy ‘cause that’s how Remys are! It wasn’t until they told me later I realized- they have a hard time even remembering most of our dates from that time! They would always make me promise not to tell when they took alcohol from my parents and when I saw them sitting awfully often with Those kinds of people they said it was just to get cigs, nothing more. I don’t judge them for it. They needed to survive I just-”

He ran his hand through his hair. Strands of still purple hair fell down onto the floor. The roots had gone back to being his natural blond. His appearance was the last thing on his mind.

“Fibromyalgia is genetic but it’s also like....there is only so much stress the body can take before it....breaks. The joints and the nervous system it doesn’t know where to fit all the pain so the pain never leaves. It never stops hurting. I always wonder if I’d told someone sooner- If I’d convinced them to run away from their dad would they still be in this much pain? Sometimes I’m so fucking glad they’re in pain ‘cause it makes them easier to- They got clean y’know? I mean once they were safe from their dad we would only smoke joints now and then, maybe some poppers at a party. That was all. It was just to survive y’know. They didn’t know how to live through it without-”

He fumbled with his hands after a new cigarette. He had to keep his body busy somehow or else it might start tearing in on himself.

“And now they’re back to being high all the time! Every time I come home from work they’re just completely out of it! I’ve had to shake them or- or slap them- or something to get a response from them even when their eyes have been open! If they’re eyes aren’t red they’re super diluted or their hands are super shakey or they drag themself out to the bathroom at like 3 am to puke and then cry like super loudly! so it’s all annoying!! and i have to get up and tell them to shut up so i can sleep so i can go to work ‘cause they can’t do any work! and that they’re just a nuisance but they just keep crying but like without making sound so I have to-”

He took a deep breathe.

“Am I the reason they’re high so often? I- I feel....bad...I...I hate myself....but it feels good in the moment. It wouldn’t feel good if i didn’t do the right thing right? I’m doing it to protect them! I know how to make them happy! They’re just- They’re too messed up to know it by themself!”

The worry writhed into anger as he closed his hands into fists and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you know how many times I’ve come home to Remy laying all close to Oswald!? ‘The dealer’ y’know!? They’re all high and he has his stupid fucking arm around them or some shit! And their speech is all slurred and they keep laughing at all his stupid unfunny fucking jokes!! And he has this smug fucking grin! Ugh! I hate him! His pasta isn’t even that good!!! Okay! I know I*m not the greatest cook but c’mon he’s not that good!!”

Virgil shot his arms out in frustration and waved them around.

“He’s not even a dealer!!! Like not a regular one at least!! I swear!! I’ve only ever seen him deal with like girls or people he’s all flirty with!! I was out drinking with my weed guy from work and Oswald was there and it wasn’t until i said something ‘bout Remy that he like all fucking smoothly like asked me if I was looking for anything to buy y’know!! Ugh!! I need to! I need to punch something!!”

He got up and peered around the home. He grabbed onto the spider plushie laying on the bed and threw it against the wall. It fell down sadly onto the floor and he stamped on it over and over.

Virgil stopped to catch his breathe. He looked down onto the plushie and crashed down onto his knees to hug it.

“....You’re...You’re right...I am scared....I am so scared....I hate myself....I...When I’m with Remy...I don’t feel happy...I feel scared....I feel...powerful...I feel Good, but I don’t feel happy”

He shut his eyes tightly and looked away from you.

“I can’t remember what it’s like without them anymore. I’m so scared. I’m so scared”

Dot jumped out of surprise as she heard your voice. It echoed through the living room. She nearly dropped the book she was reading.

“A ghost? Oh jeez don’t tell me we accidentally destroyed an ancient family relic in the latest Christmas cleaning”

The big Saint Bernard dog laying by the couch, named Rubert, got up and bonked his paw against her leg since he could tell she was a bit scared. He sniffed his big snoot around the room before finding your cookie like smell. He stomped up to you. In response you morphed your ghost body into the shape of a warm hand to pet him behind his big ears. His tail started to wag.

“Aww” Dot let out “Well I have heard that Dog’s have a great sixth sense so if Rubert likes you you must be a well meaning ghost. Tell me sweetie, what’re you here for?”

Dot nodded along as you continued your message. A deep look of worry swept across her face.

“Thank you for telling me hun. I’m glad my Vivzie has people like you caring for him, even if you’re uhm not fully corporeal. He’s always had a little trouble finding friends so it doesn’t surprise me he’s apparently gravitated towards finding friends through spiritual rituals? or a ghost friend apps? It’s not important”

She ate the cookie while walking up the stairs to her son’s room. Rubert followed along and she let him munch on some of the cookie bits that didn’t have chocolate on it.

“Hey honey?” She asked as she knocked on the door “You in there?”

She heard quick footsteps and a blanket moving before getting a quiet “Mhm. Something wrong?” As a response.

Dot opened the door ever so slightly and peered in. Virgil was sitting in the bed. He was holding his phone in front of his face and had quickly put on his headphones to make it seem like he’d just been watching youtube or something.

Rubert jumped up into the bed. Virgil mumbled compliments to him while scratching him on his favorite petting spots on the side of his tummy. Dot sat down on the bed as well, she tried not to intrude on his space too much.

“Your friend talked to me just now” She said.

“My friend?” He squinted.

“It had, let’s see umm, big eyes. Very expressive. Floated in the air”

Virgil let out a sigh and leant back against the bedframe “What did she say?”

“I won’t get mad at you for not telling me everything, you know that right? Even if you’ve lied I can understand”

“Now you’re making it sounds like the friend told you i’d burned down an orphanage”

“She simply told me that you haven’t been completely honest about why you’re staying over here instead of being with Remy. There’s something else going on isn’t there?”

A silence pressed on. Virgil hid his face in Rubert’s fur and pressed his hands down under the dog’s warm fluff coat.

“...Sweetie has Remy’s conditions gotten worse somehow? Do they need more help? If you’re worried about not being able to pay hospital bills or anything like that me and Larry can help! I promise! Or if there’s something else like that you’re worried about. If you’ve lost your job or- oh deary don’t tell me the landlord kicked you out. Please don’t tell me Remy is staying with some friend while you’re staying here as an emergency. You can tell me”

Virgil didn’t look at her.

“If you and Remy are...growing apart....thinking of breaking up even. That is fine too honey. It’s difficult to end such a long relationship but we’re here fo-”

“WE’RE NOT BREAKING UP!”

Rubert cuddled closer to try and comfort him. He licked Virgil’s hand while giving him puppy eyes.

“We’re not breaking up” Virgil whispered out “We’re just....I....I’ve been....I’ve been....berating them...or like yelled at them I guess...A few times....Like just a few....*cause they’ve been like difficult or something”

When he glanced up he was met with Dot looking at him with an expression he had never seen on her before.

“You have been yelling at your partner? Several times? Because they have been ‘difficult’? What does difficult mean deary? The only reason I could see is if they have been hurting you, and if it is that Vivzie, my middle piece of my heart, please tell me. I won’t judge you a bit. Anyone can be hurt by their partner. Even if you think you couldn’t since Remy is physically weaker than you me and Larry will believe you”

“It just- it makes me feel...better” His voice cracked a little as he said it.

“It makes you feel better to yell at- Babey” Dot tilted her head and sent him a questioning look “Babey you know better. Especially if it’s Remy. We all know what they have been through. And you are yelling at them to make yourself feel better. Sweetie I am not angry at you. Anger won’t solve anything in this case. But I am thoroughly disappointed. I would never in a million years believe it if a person came up to me and told me that my son, my Virgil was yelling at his partner to put them down. Never”

“I hate myself. We’re just gonna get through this rough spot. They haven’t even told me not to yell. I think” He mumbled out while still hiding his face in Rubert’s fur.

“Sweetie hating yourself doesn’t help with anything when you’re hurting someone else. You shouldn’t hurt yourself either for that matter. I should have known something was fishy when Picani told me Remy had suddenly stopped going to therapy”

Rubert looked between them before moving his big fluffy body away from Virgil. He laid his head and paws in Dot’s lap instead, he could tell something was wrong.

“Hun what we are going to do is find you a therapist. However much you might think feeling guilty or hateful about yourself will change your actions I think it will be much better for everyone if you get professional help. I- I really should have made you get help sooner”

“I don’t-”

“Virgil. You are Not leaving this house until we have booked a time with a suitable therapist! I don’t want to force you into this but if your problems have lead you to doing...those types of things I honestly believe it’s necessary, for both you and Remy”

He didn’t respond.

“There are support groups too if you don’t like the thought of one on one conversations. I think there even are helplines, not just for victims and that sort. And not only for abusers either. You can just get help, it doesn’t make you an abuser, it only means you have issues to solve. Whether they be anger issues or anxiety issues or codependency or what have you. I know you dislike phonecalls but I’m sure there even are helplines that work over text or text to speech. We can discuss this honey”

“And then what? What is even supposed to happen after all this bull- this bullstuff! You- Everyone just wants Remy to like leave me! And then I will be all alone! An-and I dunno- I- I don’t know”

Dot tried soothe him by putting her hand on his shoulder but he forced her away.

“Honey I think it might be better if you and Remy at least take a break until you have both worked out things. After we have found a therapist for you you can maybe go home to them and you can assure them that they are safe to leave if they wish to. You better not make them feel forced into anything, even if it’s staying. I know you love them and they love you, and you are both smart adults so I can’t exactly say that Remy has to leave you. I don’t know what would be the most healthy for them. The important thing is that they get a choice. Just like you got the choice to yell at them or not”

He buried himself under the blanket. He felt how the mattress shifted as she stood up.

“Well then sweetie. I’ll go get my ipad and my reading glasses and we can together try to find a therapist that you think would work for you”

The floorboards creaked as she left the room. Rubert jumped down from the bed to follow her.

Virgil stayed under the covers. He shut his eyes so hard it hurt. He imagined Remy laying next to him as he held back the urge to cry.

(this ask is kinda old bc im slow so sorry if this ask dont make sense to anyone but glowy and me)

Hiya. Don’t worry, i did not at all mean to insinuate that any of y’all had to disclose ur ages. i am like notoriously aganst minors or really anyone putting personal information like that on the internet. i just meant we were all like in school age, whether that be high school or university etc. im a minor too. also WOWZA dude i thought my holidays started unusually late on the 16th but youre even worse. i cant wait until im free so i can start taking out all my rage and also slowly go insane during my summer job

i dont have any age restrictions on this blog. i doubt i would ever write something that would need an age restriction like smut or r/mrom or anything like that. i think the trigger warnings are enough

also i dunno if ive said this before but if a tw is ever too much and any of you can’t read it you can just dm me or send an ask asking me to like tell you shortly what happens without making it triggering, in case the TW part is plot important. people have DMed me before on this blog, dont worry. saying it especially now bc the next mini fic i’ll (probs) write includes quite a tw thingy

#if i remember right you said youd actually made those cookies #which very impressive dude #glow eyes #ask #thanks for the ask <3 #unsympathetic virgil #(btw i have seen the practice drawings youve sent)#(im keeping them in the inbox)#(feel free to send the finished drawing whenver ur done)

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woorenergy · 2 years

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i've posted something btw <3 (check the tags before reading pls)

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #unsympathetic virgil #toxic prinxiety #unhealthy relationships #ask to tag yada yada #fanfic #fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #my writing

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yourchemicallyimbalancedromance · 6 months

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Discoveries

Prompt: “We can work this out, okay? Just come back here, it’s not safe there. You know that too.” (Credit to @me-writes-prompts for this prompt!!)

Ship: romantic Prinxiety

CW/TW: slight self harm, panic attacks, swearing, unsympathetic Virgil, unsympathetic Janus

Summary: Finally deciding to leave the “Dark Sides” Virgil leaves Janus after a heated argument, leaving him begging for him to come back.

__________________________________________

Virgils glare burned a hole into Janus’ irises, face hot and wet with incessant tears, voice hoarse and unbearably scratchy from the yelling that echoed off of the walls of Janus and his room.

Janus looked back, expression tender and begging, sincere. He stepped closer to him. “Virgil, please. I know we have our differences but I think if we just talked it out we could—“

Virgil’s shoulders were up to his neck, his entire body felt like it was burning from the unforgiving rage boiling inside of him. “Save the shit Deceit, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Janus’ expression changed in the blink of an eye, going from pleading to stone cold anger. “Yknow what? Maybe Thomas was right about not wanting you around, after all, Paranoia isn’t very healthy…” he said, seething pain and irritation dripping off his tongue.

Virgil wrapped his arms around himself tightly, knowing from past experience that the grip would leave bruises, but the pain grounded him enough to help him leave his expression the same, not letting Janus have the satisfaction of knowing he got to him.

“You’re nothing but a manipulative sack of shit. I can’t believe I trusted you.” Virgil growled. The statement was only half true; Of course Janus had his moments—all of them did, inevitably, although some more than others.—but he and Remus were the first to accept him with open arms, although recent events said otherwise.

Janus scoffed at the statement, not saying anything else in response.

Virgil let go of himself, summoning a bag and shoving whatever that was nearest to him into it; A blanket, headphones, his phone, his poetry collection that consisted of Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, and Emily Dickinson.

Janus watched silently as Virgil sunk out, not bothering to give him a second glance.

———————————————————————

Virgil walked through the border between the light and dark mind palace, feeling his emotions shift from completely enraged with no ending in sight to mildly irritated. His body relaxed, the released tension leaving him fatigued. His jaw unclenched and his nails found their way out of his palms.

He sighed before twisting the knob and letting himself into a world of new possibilities. He stepped one foot into the common area and all noise was stripped from the room. He found Logan on the couch, Patton asleep next to him. He heard Roman singing Hamilton from his bedroom. Logan was the first to notice his presence.

“Anxiety? It’s odd seeing you here, is there an issue?” Logan looked at him the way he looked at every other side, an impassive expression all over his face.

Virgil sat on the floor facing the couch where Logan was sitting, flipping through a “History Of NASA” magazine.

He shook his head. “I might need to stay here a while..I don’t know.” He said faintly, taking his headphones and phone out of his bag, not wanting to make eye contact.

“For what reason in particular?” Logan responded, bookmarking the page he was on and setting it down next to him.

“Deceit. He..” his voice trailed off as he stared at his phone, searching through multiple different playlists for a certain song to match his mood.

“He what?” Logan prompted, confusion in his voice.

Virgil looked up, “We got into an argument, an extremely heated one, that’s it. I don’t want to be there anymore. Can we please drop this?”

Logan nodded “Yes, Of course. I suppose I should let the others know you’re here then?” He asked.

Virgil blinked in surprise at the compliance with dropping the subject before slowly nodding a “yes”.

Logan disappeared for a minute into the hallway, leaving Virgil to his music, letting the words sink in and calm his nerves.

He reappeared once again, Virgil taking out his headphones, noticing Roman had stopped singing.

“I have let him know. I am sure that Patton is fine with you being here, so no need to worry.” Logan said.

Virgil nodded, getting up and sitting on the couch next to Logan.

———————————————————————

Hours passed before Roman finally left his room, coming into the common area where Patton and Virgil were watching Lion King.

“Hiya, Kiddo! Wanna join us?, we’re binge watching Disney movies” Patton said giddily, the TV illuminating his a multitude of different colors.

Roman looked to the TV, watching as Scar let go of Mufasa, and nodded. “That sounds delightful Pat, sure.” He seemed a little hesitant before sitting down beside Patton.

“Logan’s working on some big project in his room so if you’re wondering where he is that’s where” Patton clarified, hoping to ease his confusion a bit; luckily, it worked, and Roman settled into the sofa. “He also doesn’t like Disney movies” he added, giggling a bit.

Virgil stayed silent, staring at the TV; trying to make it seem as if he was focused on the movie when in reality his mind was elsewhere. Guilt coursed through his bloodstream, leaving him feeling hollow. His phone buzzed and he picked it up, the screen practically blinding him due to the darkness of the room.

It was a message from Janus. He hadn’t even been gone a day and Janus was already begging for him to come back.

“We can work this out, okay? Just come back here, it’s not safe there. You know that too.” He had written.

Virgil tried ignoring him, acting as if he’d never seen the message, god how he tried, but within seconds he found the lack of response too anxiety inducing to ignore.

He stood up, walking into the nearest room absentmindedly, and closing the door, calling Janus.

He listened to the phone ring and ring and ring until it went to voicemail. He texted Janus back, fingers flying over the screen.

“It’s a lot safer here, actually. You were wrong Janus, you have to let it go. I’m not coming back, and I don’t want to work anything out, give it up already.”

The message was a lot nicer than intended, but he sent it anyway.

Janus left him on read.

He was about to leave the room before he was struck with the sight in front of him. Silky red curtains, star decals everywhere, Disney characters plastered on the door— shit. He was in Romans room.

He would’ve laughed at the decor of the room had he not been so tense.

A knock at the door made him jump, and he opened it quickly, coming face to face with Roman.

“Do you wanna explain why you’re in my room?” He said, confusion and Irritation apparent with every word.

Suddenly, the room was spinning and nausea hit him like a truck. Too many things were happening at once. The control once ever so present in his life was slowly crumbling like sand in his hands.

Roman caught him before he fell, holding up all of his weight with ease. “Woah, hey.” he said, taken off guard. Virgil didn’t respond, couldn’t respond.

“Breathe, take deep breaths, can you do that?” Roman said

Virgil took a breath and exhaled a shuddery one, leaning against Roman, the knowledge that Princey was seeing him like this only made it worse.

“Good, that’s good. Can you do a couple more for me?” Roman cooed

Virgil repeated the cycle a few times before the room became less and less blurry and the nausea subsided slightly.

Roman led him to his bed, both of them sitting down next to eachother.

“What is going on? You just…showed up here suddenly” Roman looked away from the side next to him, his eyes fixated on the floor. He was hesitant to speak; apart from his usual cockiness, truth be told he was really afraid to say the wrong thing.

“Ja— Deceit…I left the others.”

“You..oh okay..” he said softly

“So does this mean…”

“That I’m one of you?” Virgil finished the sentence for him.

Roman nodded, looking up at him.

“I doubt you guys would want me to be.” Virgil mumbled, messing with the loose seams of his jacket.

“Hey, no. You do a great deal for us and Thomas. You mean a lot, Anxiety.” Roman responded sweetly.

“Virgil.” Virgil corrected.

“Virgil..?” Roman parroted, eyes widening a bit.

“My name, it’s Virgil.” He repeated.

While he was still weary about trusting the Others, he didn’t see the pain in telling atleast one of them his name; if he made fun of it, then so be it.

“I think that’s wonderful.” Roman said, slowly taking the other sides hand in his.

Virgil’s face heat up with surprise and happiness and he immediately hid it with his hoodie sleeve “thanks, I guess” came the muffled reply.

“You’re one of us, I’ve deemed you so, right here, right now, and if anyone has a problem with it they can talk to me” Roman said confidently, taking Virgil’s hand away from his face and kissing it.

Virgil couldn’t stop smiling and Roman loved it.

“You have a beautiful smile, Virge” Roman said, hoping to egg on the side infront of him.

Virgil practically fell apart, pulling Roman close and kissing him, smiling into it.

Roman returned the passion, holding Virgil gently as their teeth accidentally knocked together from the uncontrollable smiles.

Roman pulled them apart, forehead pressed against Virgils.

“You can stay here for as long as you need, alright?” Roman whispered.

“I could stay here forever.” Virgil responded.

‘and I will’ he thought to himself.

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