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onaperduamedee · 10 months

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Notes on Knife of Dreams

This is my favourite prologue of the series so far, blood and ashes!

Galad immediately becomes a favourite if he is willing to go against a superior to have him stand trial and to fight him for assaulting his step-mom.

The way Valda talks about Morgase, Galad needs to turn him into a bloody paper garland.

During the fight, Galad talks about hearing and feeling everything in a way that’s close to how women describe embracing the source. Food for thoughts.

We've seen different types of channelling so far, but only one type of martial art?

Galad killing Valda??! Becoming Captain-Commander? Rebelling against the Seanchan?!? CONSIDERING ALLIANCE WITH THE AES SEDAI?!? Hell yeah!

"Soldiers’ hours made farmers’ hours seem restful" - spoken like a true soldier who has no idea what he's talking about. Shut up.

Ituralde leading the resistance against the Seanchan has all my respect though.

Wait, so Suroth had nothing to do with Egeanin's trap? That was the Seeker?

Everyone is trying to fight the Seanchan because they ARE the bigger threat atm, and Rand is genuinely considering working with them. Rand, don't do it!

Although I am beginning to suspect the group who will meet Rand is not Suroth and her party.

But still, Rand! They leash people who use the One Power! You cannot go anywhere near them! This is stressful.

I must admit Semirhage wiping out the entire Seanchan imperial family is satisfying considering Seanchan colonialism. RJ will always introduce bigger sharks, especially against groups who considered themselves big sharks.

We have now the Highest for the Red! First Selector for the Blue, First Weaver for the Yellow, Captain-General for the Green, Head Clerk for the Brown, and First Reasoner for the White. Nice! I am loving these details!

I haven't commented on it but Elaida's choice to call back sisters who were exiled to fill in the ranks, especially in powerful positions whatever their history with the Tower, is fascinating. This reminds me a lot of the behaviour of certain political parties losing their grip on power.

No one knows Rand healed saidin, it's frustrating me to no end! It's such a feat! And no one knows!

Loving the meta behind Yukiri wondering whether the scene depicted on the tapestry happened and the need of a weave to keep it from falling apart.

"Yes, red. I thought it might have turned green when I wasn’t looking." - Yukiri is the best, I laughed out loud.

"Pevara exchanged looks with Yukiri, then said, 'This is the less urgent, Seaine?'" - I love the BA hunting party so much. They're a hoot.

Seaine, Yukiri and Pevara are actually quite efficient given how fraught the situation is in the White Tower. And I dig the info sharing between the Ajahs: collaboration, it works!

So, the food rotting is the DO's doing? I really enjoyed the White discussing it like it's a very theoretical problem not affecting entire nations. Tbf, locked up as they are by Elaida, they probably don't know what's happening outside.

About AS as a whole: a) they're a millenia-old institution in dire need of reform, and that's even before we realise that b) they're infiltrated to the core by agents looking to sow discord and destroy the WT, c) they've been taken over by right-wing radicals. It is what makes the depiction of the White Tower mesmerising: the story shows us the White Tower at their lowest, in their deepest turmoil, when they are cornered and have no choice but to evolve or simply die out. Light, it's so current!

NON, Alviarin is onto Yukiri and Doesine, nope, nope, nope.

Ohhh, Galina has been captured by Perrin and is trying to wriggle her way out of Shaido captivity by manipulating them!

Perrin is a broken record repeating "wife." It's a tad silly.

You know what, Galina gets points for being one of the only POV characters respecting Berelain. She can call Perrin a fool to her heart's content because atm he is one.

Berelain hitting Galina, hard, because Perrin didn't want to was perfect.

Oh, the tension between the White Tower AS is THICK. Of course Egwene picks up pretty fast how degraded the situation is among the sisters.

Hell no, they have Leane too! Thinking about her being put to the question again is breaking my heart.

"Whether or not she had managed to do well as Amyrlin, she would die in a manner fitting for the Amyrlin Seat." - I love Egwene so much. She is fast becoming one of my favourite characters ever. Her arc is truly unbelievable.

I literally had Garnet singing "Stronger than You" playing in my head while reading this scene. Egwene is unbreakable.

"Whatever you do, you’ll never make me deny who I am” - I adore Egwene. I now have a very strong need to see queer Egwene. You cannot give me a character saying "I am what I am" and not make them gay. It's forbidden. Another parallel to Rand too.

The confrontation with Silviana was so tense! Really looking forward to seeing Egwene going against her and playing Elaida. Her thoughts going to Siuan and Leane though. I am going to scream. My love for this trio is all-consuming and terrifying.

"She was carrying the battle into the heart of the Tower itself. If she had had lips there, she would have smiled." - FUCK THEM UP YOU AIEL-HEARTED WONDER

Egwene, I would die for you on a battlefield.

The joy of having a Siuan POV - her strength, her worry, her competence - is somewhat marred by the constant thinking about Gareth. She spares time to moon over him, and then cannot stop to help the injured because her news are urgent? It's exhausting.

I cannot fathom the strength it takes Siuan to do what she does against women who are so much stronger and stand so much higher than her. Her willingness to put aside her pride and fear to do what needs to be done is astounding. Truly a pillar.

Faolain spilled the beans to Lelaine, but Siuan is keeping her cool. Lelaine with her machinations to become the next Amyrlin will get Egwene killed.

Wait, so Grays act as external judges going from villages to villages? That's fascinating!

Beonin, what do you think you're doing? Even your warder thinks you’re a fool.

So dead people are just appearing out of nowhere? Cool, cool, cool.

Egwene's plan of shutting down ship trading with cuendillar chains was brilliant, even if she was betrayed.

Look, my president was elected on the promise to save us from the extremes, has then started ruling with decrees, crushed public dissent with violence, painted opponents as terrorists and requisitioned striking workers to clean the capital streets where garbage is piling up. To say Elaida's reign of terror hits a little too close to home is putting it mildly.

Also fuck Beonin so hard for betraying Egwene and the Rebels, and revealing the rediscovered weaves. Whatever blood is spilled afterward is on her hands.

I did not have Aran'gar seducing Graendal on my bingay card, but here we are.

I'm surprised it took the Forsaken this long to set out to kill Mat and Perrin.

By my count, only Be'lal, Asmodean and Rahvin have been permanently killed among the Forsaken.

I am bloody angry with Perrin rn: giving the Two Rivers to Seanchan, really? Even if it means condemning to slavery some of his people? I thought his devotion to Faile was moving, but screw him, that's exactly what Tylin did.

Berelain MVP as always. What a great leader she is.

As with Isendre, I take no satisfaction whatsoever in the treatment Galina gets from the Shaido, even if she's loathsome: it's brutal, dehumanising and gendered. I think the Aiel rapport with extreme punishment is gratuitous and voyeuristic, and it’s putting me off.

Rolan and Faile... On one hand, I am glad he has Faile's back and he seems kind; on the other any woman would run from him as far as possible because his insistence is so creepy.

Also, I wish the motif of romantic captive/holder wasn't one in this saga.

At least, Arrela is sleeping with a Maiden to get her protection? Gay problematic is better than no gay.

Also, the wind, the ripple; what is going on? If this is the book of weird omen, I am all in.

And Faile has the rod! And followers! I knew she would find a way, crafty as she is.

Now, these are actually the first Mat chapters I found underwhelming? Luca is again getting annoying; I don't really care about Domon and Egeanin; what's the deal with Noal; the courtship with Tuon is entertaining, but not enough to justify the pacing.

And the Aes Sedai drama is exhausting because Mat, you lovable jerk, you are showing more sympathy toward a slave owner than her victims. Are they infuriating? Yes! Is Mat sensible in any of his interactions with or his treatment of them? No!

Also spanking Joline... He beats her first and asks questions later when channelling was the sul'dam's fault and it was HIS choice to put them in this set-up. They ARE annoying, yes! Last time I checked he wasn't spanking his manservants or Luca.

At least, Joline will teach the sul'dam? Not a great idea considering what the Aes Sedai went through and the sul'dam's attitude, but it's better than letting the sul’dam believe they are still the AS minders. No one had issues with Rand staying 1000 leagues away from AS because of Dumai’s wells.

Aludra creating canons to destroy the Seanchan: hell yeah, organise that resistance, you firecracker!

How hilarious that Mat keeps seeing Rand having sex with Min though.

The horse ride with Tuon was cute, and Mat's heart to heart with Setalle refreshing, but light, those chapters are slow. He still has so many interesting relationships with women.

The confrontation between the AS and Tuon sums up what makes Mat both infuriating and endearing: it's sexism and lack of empathy, until the women are attacked frontally and he defends them. His first impulses are always that of a jerk, but he course-corrects.

Is it fun to read? Not always, and there's something to say about reproducing sexist behaviour as is in a fantasy setting. But it makes him a realistic character.

Also Tuon can scram: enslaving people because they are annoying? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF

Shiota was terrifying! I loved the way the horror just erupted out of nowhere. And the scenes afterwards were lovely. They've accidentally become such a dysfunctional little family.

I am glad Juilin will not forget that Egeanin owned slaves.

I am really curious about the suggestions Mat will chase the Seanchan away. How will that unfold if he is married to their empress?

The Egeanin/Domon pairing heavily suggests that he will change her, but it isn't enough to change a whole nation.

MOIRAINE'S LETTER

SHE'S ALIVE SOMEWHERE WITH THE SNAKE AND FOX PEOPLE

HELL YEAH WE'RE GETTING A MAT-FLAVORED KATABASIS TO RESCUE MOIRAINE!

That also explains all the reflecting Mat has been doing concerning the Finn and what they did to him.

Light, one of the elements of a katabasis - a descent into the underworld - is that people don't always come back right... Moiraine, my heart.

Really curious about the inspiration for the Seanchan invasion because what RJ is describing - the population's acceptance, the government's obedience, the imprisonment of a minority - is VERY reminiscent of Collaboration across Europe during WWII.

The visit in a Hell was fun in its urgency. Even if it's very much the Whedon syndrome where pretty and tiny women have no trouble wrecking trained assassins thrice their size, I like that we did get to see Tuon practise a different martial art.

Misreading Tuon as Thom and vice versa when they are in the same chapter certainly makes things interesting.

Between Vane sent to kill Mat, the gholam reappearing and the Seanchan after a false Tuon, they better get the hell out of the circus. At last!

Perrin trusting Bawler after the shit he put Moiraine through is beyond grating. And Perrin witnessing a poor man dying horrifically and showing not an ounce of empathy or sense is A Lot.

What a thrilling chapter of Perrin on errands with the Seanchan!

It's crushing how thoroughly this middle stretch of books spoiled Perrin for me. I wouldn't go as far as character assassination, but he started off as my favourite of the boys and now he's just a bad friend, leader, ally to the Light and even husband.

And back to the Caemlyn siege!

Again, Elayne, having Rand's babies was 100% your choice, not Rand's. Not a mistake, not only Rand's fault.

On Elayne and the bargain: it's ironic because Morgase gave a whole lot of Andor to the Whitecloaks when held prisoner.

Elayne can fuck off for pressing her soldiers to kill retreating enemies and getting themselves killed while being a hothead on the battlefield because Min's viewing protects her. Why is she so blood-thirsty? Is the throne worth the blood and gold?

"Smiling, Aviendha turned her face up to let the rain run down her cheeks. 'I love to watch water falling from the sky.'" - Aviendha is so cute, seriously. I wish she had more to do than stand around and laugh or scowl or hug Elayne

Like with Min and Siuan, I really wish Elayne would not bemoan the Kin's newfound backbone. They deserve to stand straighter after everything they went through.

The Kin are as always very badass for managing to recruit 10,000 men for Elayne.

I love that the Kin have had a dozen professions because of their longevity and needed to move around to stay low. They are such a great addition to this universe. They will do a lot of good to the AS as a whole too.

Oh good, after competing in the last book over which of the two has the slowest arc, Elayne and Perrin are now competing for least empathy, excellent. Elayne wants to send the damane back to slavery and justifies it by her hatred of the Seanchan.

It's representative of the way some left-leaning people think about fighting oppression: hatred for the oppressor (the 1%, racists) but it doesn't extend to help toward the victims (supporting fiscal reforms, harsher sentencing against hate crime). Come on, Elayne, I know you have A Lot on your plate now, but you are better than this! If you managed to be the voice of reason for a whole journey to Tear with a traumatised Egwene and a drifting Nynaeve, you can handle this better, I know you can.

Vandene wears her sister's clothes and perfume while chasing her killer. Light, I am distraught.

"She had to watch Vandene perhaps destroying herself, and worse, make use of it." - oh, the gut-punch. Great parallel with Rand too.

At least this conundrum with the Aes Sedai and the Sea Folk is compelling. Elayne and Nynaeve made a bargain promising something they had no way of delivering, without much choice, and now they have to deal with the consequences.

Elayne, Birgitte and Aviendha are such a comedic trio: I have great expectations for the show.

The narrative is laying it THICK that pregnant women are unreliable and erratic in one of the worst bouts of sexism this book has displayed in a while.

"they did not think they already knew something of how to use a blade" - I appreciate the shade here.

I'm so frustrated by this arc: it employs Elayne in the way least fitting to her strong points. She's a Mat-type character in her chaos, with lots of heart, but her struggle with power is clearly echoing Perrin here and I don’t think it works.

Aviendha discovering her Talent with ter'angreal and the proof coming in the form of an e-book with an unbelievable library, along with the nice little nod to the difficulties of translation and the way it's a meta commentary on prophecies, was A+.

"How can you say you have nothing to give? You’ve given me everything." - The Aviendha/Elayne farewell was so moving and MoLan-coded. But I can't say I am displeased to see Aviendha move on to greener pastures where plot happens faster.

I know this won't happen but I hope the show just discards Elayne as Rand's love interest entirely. Their romance is the least developed of the three, it looks more like crush than love, and the chemistry pales in comparison to Min/Rand and Aviendha/Elayne.

I hope Birgitte is okay. With the bond, she should not be that tired.

Elayne is going to lose the mercenaries. Hiring them in the first place was a bad idea: Amyrilla also has mercenaries so it's merely a battle of who has the deepest pockets now.

Just give Mellar the boot if you don't want to arrest him! You are all needlessly endangering everyone.

The palace shifting is a really nice touch. This book has some delicious tiny worldbuilding elements showing the magic itself is wonky, like in TSR.

Birgitte and her Map room is such a neat choice and actually a great device to talk about Birgitte without doing so: her memories are fading, leaving only the newer memories, as the floor mosaic of Caemlyn is being progressively replaced.

"You were always expected to have an answer, to find one. That was what it meant to be Aes Sedai." - That's why people are like that when they learn AS are only humans. Also reminds me of my TDR notes: this is about kids understanding adulthood and that adults don’t have all the answers.

Elayne at last questions if maybe gaining the throne will cost too much to Andor. Siuan and Egwene were willing to let Elaida win if it meant saving the Tower.

Her gaggle of kid allies remain hilarious though.

The BA is now taking out Kin. No! I need whoever is responsible to be personally handled by Vandene.

Naean is also looking drawn and tired? Is something also happening to people's mind, like back in Tear with Ishamael?

Loial and his book! Of course he is interviewing Rand and Rand is underplaying his accomplishments.

Moiraine's name is written in fire inside Rand's skull: learning she may be alive will absolutely not fuck him up.

So, Rand is connected to Moridin because their balefire beams crossed? I was not expecting that.

Nynaeve replaced Moiraine as his personal Aes Sedia and it's so endearing. I am glad he has her by his side.

Man, I enjoy Verin and Cads' weird dynamic. Logain and Rand are at each other's throat like two roosters and need to cool down.

"Her knitting, a shapeless lump that might have been anything, sat in her lap" - I laughed. What a detail to drag, Rand.

Min, you're being childish: Rand knows he will die. Although apparently Rand has asked the Finn how to survive and there is a way out? Interesting.

I feel sorry for Loial. He clearly doesn't want marriage now. Why is everyone forcing him?

Awwwwww Loial wishing he had an AS with him to face his mom. Don't worry, they would make things worse.

The way he learned courage from humans though is filling my heart with joy. He has such a heartfelt subdued arc and now he will talk before his people!

The new weaves, LTT seizing saidin and trying to burn out Rand during the attack... Oof, a lot is happening to Rand.

"You’re harder than I ever was, Lews Therin said. Suddenly he giggled. If you’re not me, then who are you?" - wow, I am LOVING this.

Love the conceit of Alivia being so strong and old that no one knows what to do with her. Her destiny to help Rand die makes her figure all the more ominous.

Min seeing all sorts of things for Moiraine? How many viewings did Min have about her exactly? TELL ME

"Maybe it was just Aes Sedai concealment." - maybe it's the fact you should not require absolute obedience from anyone?

Using people as pawns is now second nature to Rand, Egwene, Perrin, Elayne. Only Mat and Nynaeve don't do it.

"She, at least, was one he did not have to worry about. Elza was fanatical in her devotion." - Rand, she's a DF. You're blindsided by her devotion to you. Be sensible.

Thank the Light Bashere is here. This meeting with the Seanchan is most definitely a trap.

A NYN POV AT LAST YES PLEASE MY GAL

"Moiraine used to say a headache was sign she had been channelling too much. That’s dangerous." - again, fascinated by this undercurrent in their marriage. How very Daphné du Maurier of Jordan.

"Greens! They simply could not be trusted with men!" - between Alanna, Myrelle, Elayne and Cads, they've certainly earned their reputation. Not on the same scale, obviously, but yeah, the Green Ajah needs to do serious education on bonding.

"his place was with her, not dying alone in a futile private war with the Shadow" / "She could try to make sure he survived, though." - No comment.

From wherever she is, Moiraine is mentally kissing Nynaeve on the mouth and praising her, as she should.

If the books had time, they would delve into what it means for Nyn to marry someone with so much baggage, and the time, adjustment and complexity behind such a match.

I've touched on this in one of my metas for the show before reading the books, but I love that Nynaeve has such a profound and sincere sense of community and duty, even more so than Egwene, which is saying a lot considering how dedicated Egwene is.

Nyn understands perfectly why Lan's commitment to Malkier matters, even understood Lan's commitment to Moiraine when she was around. But despite this understanding, she still meets Moiraine in feeling that Lan shouldn't let this commitment kill him.

There's no hypocrisy here: it's very much her saying "both matter; we are not going to sacrifice one for the other"

It's that same trait that made her push away Lan when he was ready to break his vows to Moiraine back in Tear and hats off to her.

"yet the land did not change greatly in two or three hundred years" - why do I feel this will lead to Tarmon Gai'don changing geography again?

"'Kiss me. [...] That wasn’t an order. I just want to kiss my husband.'" -

I dislike the whole Sea Folk obedience thing but that was SO cute!

One last night in Shienar: the show writers are sneaky.

Nyn leaving Lan in Saldaea to force him to ride all the way to Shienar is just SO good. She understood he cannot be trusted with looking after himself, so she will trick him into doing it, the fool man.

So men wearing the hadori carry "a reputation for sudden, unpredictable violence"? That is very interesting considering some of Lan's reflections and even Moiraine's behaviour in New Spring.

Many warders are essentially rehabilitated veterans.

They have different coins for different nations, but we haven't seen any mention of dialects? And what about the Aiel and the Seanchan being understandable? Do they all speak a language that's translated for the books like LOTR and westron?

Clever, Clever Nynaeve for travelling ahead of Lan to rouse the Malkieri, though it's funny to imagine her going from town to town in search of everyone with a Hadori before going back to healing everyone in the manor. She's the best.

Light, I've missed her POV. It's such a shame she was absent these last few books because she grew a lot in the meantime off-page. Instead of trying to overpower like she used to, she's far better at dissembling and not saying everything she thinks.

It obviously helps with Lan, but also with Cadsuane and Rand. With Lan, it's skirting manipulation, but she spent enough time with him - and with Moiraine's ghost - to realise he's not at a place where his death wish can be reasoned with for now. Healing will take time.

Oh, Rand's school led to the Locomotive rediscovery? This is making me emotional. He will change the world for the better, he will. It's truly a Renaissance!

"Lews Therin began to maunder on about taxes and money creating jobs" - okay, Ronald.

Again, not a fan of the depiction of Tear as not as beautiful as Caemlyn or Tar Valon, while pointing out the Tairens are brown-skinned and poor.

I love the detail of the merchant explaining silk can be made by worms.

Nope, please let Tear be spared the Seanchan, this city suffered enough.

Rand, you are sounding more and more like a tyrant ordering some people around and expecting total obedience, chill.

It's genuinely hard to see the lavish interiors while the Tairens are starving. It's not something Rand can fix without rebellion from nobles, but everywhere monarchy is depicted as a deeply flawed system bleeding nations (Caemlyn, Cairhien). This Age and Rand brought scientific and medical achievements in droves and magic hierarchy upheaval, but yet not an ounce of democratic progress so far. It's so bizarre!

If it isn't my favourite het couple, Darlin "himbo but noble" Sisnera and Caraline "girl in a bar restroom but noble" Damodred.

I like that Alanna gets to display her tactical knowledge as a Green Ajah, even if it's very brief.

Rand, I love you, but your imperial tendencies are showing.

So Merana, Bera and Rafaela did a good job with the negotiations with the Rebels in Tear. I’m relieved Rand is learning to delegate too.

Cads counting to get Rand to stop the disrespect: he should absolutely show more restraint as a leader, as the Dragon Reborn, otherwise his enemies will use it against him. Her advice is sound, even if she is patronising.

"When the terms you offer are accepted, hold to them.” - Rand, would you really starve the city even more because the nobles rebelled against you, a foreign leader who took power with an army of Aiel?!? Do you hear yourself?

"And would you marry a king, Caraline?” / “I will have to see you in it before I could answer that." - Darlin is a himbo king: I support him 100%. Caraline and he remain sickeningly cute and so charming together. They're by far the best nobles around.

Yessss, Rand is rallying troops for Tarmon Gai'don at last!

"More than that, we survived Cadsuane Melaidhrin, and I doubt anyone else here could do that.” - Harine and Shalon really went on a Hurin-like journey of epic proportion, didn't they?

Oh, cool, the Atha'an Miere are also flogging disobeying Aes Sedai. I would really appreciate it if ONE culture was not obsessed with spanking and whipping.

Oooooh, Logain is delivering the summon to the Sea Folk!

"It was not that he tried to dishonor anyone, yet he cared little for the honors of others." - like you humiliate AS sent to teach you? Self-awareness is the least shared trait in these books. Logain is just giving them a taste of their own medicine

Light, the Amayar after the Choeden Kal melted on Tremalking... That is truly horrifying. And so soon after the deaths in Ebou Dar and the Seanchan massacre too. How many Ath'an Miere died already?

I appreciate so many characters telling us the Last Battle is coming but Tarmon Gai'don is still three THICK books away.

"A brief interlude with tales of romance and adventure was much preferable to contemplating utter futility and the failure of what was by its very nature unfailing." - The meta of Romanda reading Birgitte's tale to escape from her reality is superb.

Of course, Romanda thought Egwene was Siuan's puppet, wrongly.

"No one has a leash on Egwene al’Vere. She is intelligent, observant, quick to learn and deft. She may become one of the great Amyrlins." - she already is. I love Egwene so much.

"That relationship was abhorrent." - I'm with you on this, Romanda.

I like Tiana: she's clear-eyed. The newer recruits are fast learners and thus priceless novices well worth the rules bent. Romanda is just the old guard bucking

Myrelle bonded Llyw to save him? The show is definitely merging her and Alanna.

Nacelle testing a weave to sense men channelling! The agreement with Asha'man! Eben helping uncover Halima! Oh, the little Hall scenes are my favourites. The drama! The tension! The theatrics!

Egwene teaching a lesson to the Accepted who wanted to teach her a lesson and keeping the novices in their place is just so bloody satisfying. All the senseless beatings and the silent resistance against Silviana make me so bloody proud of her!

So relieved Leane is okay and the Tower sees her as an AS which grants her a modicum of comfort and protection.

Screams in "Egwene and Leane trying to sow the seeds of mutiny one sister, accepted and novice at a time while prisoners", holy shit

Egwene becomes an Amyrlin for the novices, advising, comforting them, and extending this quiet support to sisters and Accepted and I love her so very much.

Laras truest ally. She'll help Egwene like she did Leane and Siuan, I tell you.

"Eventually she would teach them what she was." - EGWENE Also, again with the queer vibes. Her defiance in the face of violent rigidity and labels feels very gay.

She's apparently mediating pillow friends’ fights too.

"You’ve been kidnapped and brought aboard a sinking ship.” -

Egwene dodges Alviarin's attempts to ensnare her and absolutely dominates her conversation with Mattin.

I just love seeing her fine mind at work. Like Siuan, she's so incredibly smart.

Aes Sedai bound by the 3 oaths who swear obedience can reason their way out to an extent? That's not great for Rand...

Doesine finally interacts with Egwene, Beonin folds, Silviana talks, the novices bow... Easily the best chapter of the books so far.

I feel sorry for the women of WoT: even a woman with smaller breasts will get a description of her breasts and how doing anything will have her boobs pop out of the dress. Amazing. Tits in this universe obey to entirely different laws of physics

Elaida is a study in unravelling. And the echoes to Rand all the more delicious. This is what he risks, if he doesn't tread lightly: disobedience, allies at each other's throat, spies and DF manoeuvring in the background.

I am very confused about the amount of PDA and private discussion in public we are suddenly getting for various couples: Tuon asking for a kiss was so out there.

Of course, Mat dislikes nobles except Talmanes and Tuon. You old romantic.

I really, really wish Mat was warier of Tuon and Selucia. He's smarter than letting an invader know so much about his plans. Overall, the tolerance for a coloniser who enslaves people and slaughters others is just staggering.

Talmanes being unable to understand Tuon because of the slurring is hilarious.

The Band of the Red Hand might be the only army I feel an attachment to. Their devotion to Mat is quite moving.

My big issue with Perrin's arc is that the narrative camps on its position that He is the main character when Faile is the one driving the narrative. So we get him mostly waiting for Faile, and we get little of her POV.

Not a fan of Perrin hoping the tea will be strong enough when infused cold. It's a sound plan but you've been waiting for days! You had time to experiment! He's Ta'veren, I guess.

And Seonid adding on to the list of badass Aes Sedai. A trouper!

At least Perrin has more sense than Mat keeping the Aes Sedai and Seanchan apart. Respect to Annoura for broadcasting "fuck you, with feelings" vibes toward Tylee while the woman talks unchallenged about enslaving more people. I'd have bitten her.

Again, screw Perrin for making the personal sacrifice of letting Seanchan enslave people if it means saving Faile. He's this close to jumping the shark for me.

The ripples are so unsettling, I love it.

Seeing Rand donning his best garbs to impress the Seanchan... Moiraine would be proud.

I feel so bad for Rand. There was a time Min was a genuine source of comfort and now she's frankly overbearing and treats him like a child.

Oooooh, I thought the trap was set by Tuon's sister and was not expecting Semirhage at all! Also, Rand lost his hand? Wth?!?

So, tattoos can be restored through healing? I am not taking any notes here, none at all.

Semirhage revealing Rand's voices to everyone will not help his standing at all. Thankfully, Asha'man and Aes Sedai are getting closer which means more trust for him from these two groups.

"I am Cadsuane Melaidhrin. I look forward to long talks with you." - she's so hardcore.

Well, now he's aware the Seanchan have male a'dam, thank the Light. He'll be more careful.

Frankly, the way Mat treats Teslyn and Tuon as a "both sides" issue is so off-putting. One is literally trying to enslave the other.

I get such satisfaction from seeing Mat impress Tuon and Teslyn with his military tactics. Also, I love it when the plan succeeds thanks to collaboration.

As evident as Galina's treachery was, the escapees encouraging Morgase to channel was lovely. I’m curious about how Morgase wasn’t affected by the tea, but perhaps they drink from a different source as servants?

I don't like the Asha'man being overworked and exhausted. They should unionise.

What is so frustrating about Galina's obvious trap is that the main characters are constantly suspicious of Aes Sedai EXCEPT when they should be.

And Perrin and Faile are back together! At last! I do appreciate that Faile would have gotten herself out without Perrin, even if it failed toward the end.

Did Morgase faint because of the tea in the water or because she overdrew the One Power?

Perrin wanting to execute Galina on the spot, leaving all the Shaido Wise Ones in slavery... I feel sick. I genuinely hate him right now. I am glad he feels what the Seanchan do is disgraceful; it will be a great comfort to the people they captured.

I am so tired of people stripping their prisoners, so tired.

At Last the Shaido are leaving. I feel a little sorry for Galina: being trialled and executed would have been a mercy compared to what she will experience at the hands of Therava.

I won't comment on the expedition to High Moon Street because that was so foolish it left me speechless. That was even more clownish than the Far Madding outing.

Adeleas went to the Moiraine stabbing school of dealing with DF which I salute.

They cut down oaks hundreds of years old to make gateway grounds? Are we in Isengard?

Siuan and Egwene behave far more like adults sisters than Birgitte and Elayne: these two are like a much older sibling having to look after her disaster teenage sister.

A Birgitte POV chapter! What a delight! Like Berelain, she really is the MVP. Also Dyelin. Yes, I still ship them.

I love seeing her perspective on losing her memories. It makes her friendship with Mat of the 100 lives all the more touching.

Elayne's capture, the mercenaries, Arymilla's attack feel like such a waste: the bloodbath is a direct consequence of Elayne's recklessness. It's immensely frustrating because it's the same mistake made during the BA hunt back in book 2 to 5 except this time she’s a leader so her people die. She should know better.

The ending of the Caemlyn siege and succession felt rather rushed? Everything happened all at once and so suddenly after books of dawdling as if Elayne was ta'veren. Which she probably is tbh. I didn't enjoy this arc as much as Egwene’s or Rand's political intrigues so I'm glad it's done and she’s Queen at last. It was a fun concept, but I’m not sure about the execution.

Karede tracking Tuon and the marriage were rather cute. It might be one of the most well-developed romance in the books, oddly. I appreciate that Mat has been defeating the Seanchan for weeks now, so his leniency with Tuon is somewhat mitigated.

I get the Aludra hype now. I love a good resistance fighter and she is amazing.

"I think,” Joline said slowly. “Yes, I feel in danger, now." - The Aes Sedai are so funny.

That last battle was well set-up with a nice use of external POV and the humour in Mat's chapters is always a pleasure. His reluctance, about being a hero, a general, a husband, makes him really endearing too. He's very Nynaeve-like in his begrudging devotion. I just wish Mat wasn’t so at ease with the Seanchan.

How very Suroth of Suroth to be caught by Tuon in the epilogue though.

Pevara is extremely brave, extremely confident and extremely naïve to walk into the Black Tower like that.

As strongly as the book started, the ending wasn't as powerful as it could have been in my opinion. I would have preferred to end on Rand or Egwene whose final chapters felt more explosive. The Perrin, Elayne and even Mat plot conclusions felt a little like ticking boxes on a check list. They would have wowed me more had the plotlines not been stretched over several books. For example, LoC was very slow, but the conclusion at Dumai’s Well made it worth it for me.

It was still enjoyable and the Egwene chapters were some of the best I’ve read in a while, but we spent so much time on arcs with a foregone conclusion that at the end I didn't even care anymore.

And Nyn’s arc is still MIA. I thought that for a moment she would get something to do in the long run with Lan's ride but nope. She is shadowing Rand, but Cads is doing most of the counselling so far, and I don’t see the books introducing the kind of juicy conflict we got between Rand and Moiraine, if only because it would be repetitive. She also deserves to have an actual plotline that is about her character like Egwene and Elayne and not helping Rand.

I would be remiss in not mentioning this was RJ's last full book: when I started this journey, I wasn't particularly fond of his writing style, but I grew to enjoy his voice. I will miss his quasi photographic descriptions and impressionistic battles.

#the wheel of time #wot book spoilers #Wot book review #wot book journey #knife of dreams #remblai #I could edit and trim this but I'm already halway through The Gathering Storm #I am marching toward the Last Battle full steam ahead before september 1st #I don't have time for concision #also these are mostly for me so that I can read my notes when I need them #I didn't enjoy this one as much as I thought I would?#probably because I was expecting something close the pre-LOC pacing and it wasn't #it did contain my favourite chapter #ever #Honey in the tea you are a star #and we learn that ***** is alive which is a big win #hell yeah we're in for a katabasis

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theminecraftbee · 4 months

Text

"Well hello there Secret Keeper!" Scar says, chipper. "It's a bea-ut-i-ful day today here on the Secret Life server, and I'm here for my daily hearts for winning! I have to say, it is gorgeous today. Really a lot easier to keep the rain away without other players, what with sleeping through the night not being a problem at all! Did you know, by the way, that sleeping and rain are connected? I didn't until recently, but by golly, they sure are! Can you imagine? The world is full of so many strange things."

The Secret Keeper, being a big dumb stone statue, doesn't reply. Scar's beginning to think it's just rude. It sure replies whenever he hits the button, which is the first step in his morning routine these days. He's gotten better at dodging damage, really, even with the nearly infinite hearts! He's just not so good at dodging skeletons and creepers and such that he shouldn't top off every day.

He hits the button. He feels his health return to him. He gets a new task: Win Secret Life.

He snorts, a little bitter, to himself as he reads it and folds it into his pocket. "You know, I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky that you're such a moron that you don't know what winning means. Your machine is broken."

No response, again, because the Secret Keeper is, as established, a big old dumb rock. Well, whatever. Besides, if he lingers on resentment and upset for too long, it might catch up with him! He's certainly let it catch up with him before. Why, a few days after he'd won, when he really had it sink in that he was for-real alone on a server covered in lightning burn marks and blood, he had a bit of a breakdown! There was sobbing, screaming, yelling at the world, the whole works! And when no one responded then, well--

"Did I just call you a moron? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!" Scar says. "You know how I get sometimes. The world is beautiful and warm, but sometimes it gets a little hard to breathe around here! Now, where were we... oh, right! The trading post terraforming project! Now, we hit a bit of a snag the other day, what with the wandering traders I'd caught all sort of--dying--and all that, but luckily, more of them might show up any moment, and they really are vital to making the place feel alive and breathing. So today we're taking a break from that to build up some trees!"

He waves his arms like someone is listening. He'd like to imagine someone is. Grian told him he won--just because all the ghosts are quiet now doesn't mean they aren't there! And if that was a moment of temporary insanity, well, he probably--he needs to think it's not, is the thing! He absolutely needs to think it's not.

He hums and gathers more logs. His makeshift tree farms are pretty nice, if he does say so himself. He pauses as he hears distant howling and sighs. "I guess we will also be spending today cleaning up the wolf population! I swear, I have no idea what those people were thinking making a wolf spawner. A man takes a nap for a day and then the entire server is overrun with stupid white animals! And you know, I do hate having to cull the things, but, well, you know me. I've learned how to kill pretty well, I think, and really, dogs are easier to kill than people."

He grabs a sword from his chest and sharpens it. He keeps it perfectly clean so that there isn't too much blood on it. Good thing, too; most of the blood would probably be his. He's a bit clumsy, after all. He cuts his fingers on it all the time. No matter how well he bandages up his hands, he just keeps making them bleed, drip, drip, dripping blood on every path he walks down. No matter how hard he works to clean up his massive building projects, the little splatters of blood follow him, so he's sticking to dark colors where he can.

The flowers will probably show the blood, he thinks. The flowers and trees he's building. Hopefully, the blood doesn't stand out too much. It feels wrong, in a world where there are no bodies.

He stands up. He heads in the direction of today's pack of unwanted pests. He sighs. "You know, I know your question is, well gosh, Scar! All the previous winners died. When are you going to finish it off and kill yourself? And wow, that's a pretty dark question. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking, really." He laughs. It's not funny. Who cares.

Instead, he shakes his head.

"And, well, you have to understand. I'm not done building yet! I can make my base so much nicer looking! And besides, you're still handing me hearts. If I get hurt, I can just come back and get more from you! If you want to die, you have to kill me yourself. You fucking cowards!"

No response.

He sighs. "Well, that's enough of that for today. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of morose. It's all this sunshine! Can't be good for a man. Did you know populated servers rain more often than unpopulated ones? It's true! It's because people don't sleep enough. But here I am, getting all the sleep I need. Now, time to go kill some dogs and build some trees! I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon, can you?"

His hands hurt. He ignores it. He ignores a lot of hurt, these days. It's not like it's hard.

#secret life smp #goodtimeswithscar #a bee fic #implied/referenced suicide #implied/referenced self harm #SO UH. HOW ABOUT THAT SCAR NOT DYING IN THE END NONSENSE HUH.#trying to write this all very much in scar's voice was fun. dark premise. goofy guy. result: this.#also i DO love occasionally giving a character who otherwise wouldn't exactly ONE precision swear-word. very fun.

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theostrophywife · 6 months

Text

kiss with a fist | chapter eleven.

masterlist 💋 chapters 💋 playlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: 18 - one direction.

author's note: please enjoy my pookies in domestic bliss.

The streetlights casted shadows on the sidewalk as you climbed the steps to your childhood home. As you made your ascent, fresh flurries rained down from the winter sky, covering the quiet neighborhood in a blanket of snow. Beside you, Theo fidgeted with the hem of his cashmere jumper and roughly combed a hand through his curls for what seemed like the millionth time that evening.

You slipped your fingers through his and squeezed. “Don’t be nervous, Teddy. They’re going to love you.”

Theo shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the only tell signifying his nerves. Over the past few months, you became more and more attuned to your boyfriend’s body language. For someone who always had a sarcastic comment at his disposal, there were a lot of things that Theo conveyed without words.

For example, you now knew that incessant tapping of his fingers meant that he was in dire need of a cigarette break, the slight clench of his jaw was a warning that someone was about to get their head bashed in for flirting with you, and that a tongue against the cheek meant to meet him in the broom closet immediately. Needless to say, you’d become an expert on reading Theodore Nott and right now, he was a never ending novel of nervousness.

It didn’t surprise you. When you first invited him to Christmas dinner, Theo had grown so quiet that you actually checked his pulse to see if he was still alive. You were cuddled up in bed at your dorm when you sprung the question on him. It had only been two months since you officially started dating, but you knew without a doubt that you would be taking Theo home to meet your parents at some point. The only question was when.

Then your mum had outright demanded that you bring him by for the holidays in her latest letter, which pretty much sealed the deal for you. Theo’s family wasn’t really big on celebrating Christmas given its origins, but his nonna had invited you to come to Triora for New Year’s, which you gladly accepted. She was as eager to meet you as your parents were to meet Theo.

The two of you had taken each other’s news very differently. At first, you were nervous, but the excitement of learning more about your boyfriend's family offset the jitters. Theo, however, went into full psycho mode in the weeks leading up to his visit. He made you quiz him on traditional muggle festive activities, asked a million questions regarding your parents and their expectations, and even got special permission for an emergency shopping trip to muggle London so you could help pick clothes that were ‘boyfriend material.’

The boys had made fun of him incessantly, but Theo didn’t care one bit. He was on a mission to win your parents over and nothing was going to stand in his way. Pansy said it was the most work she’d ever seen him put into anything. Luna thought it was incredibly sweet, albeit a bit amusing to listen to you explain the concept of Santa Claus to your very confused boyfriend.

Said boyfriend now looked panicked as he peered inside of the black bag he’d brought along. “Are you sure I shouldn’t have sent a flower arrangement ahead of time? Or a bottle of vintage wine from the vineyard? I was going to, but I didn’t know what we were having for dinner and there’s truly nothing more embarrassing than paring the wrong wine with—”

You pulled him down by his scarf so that you were face to face. “Theo, this isn’t a soiree at Malfoy Manor. My family is as far from high society as you can possibly be. We’re just normal people. There’s no need to worry, babe.”

“I really want them to like me,” he said softly.

You grinned. “Well then use that famous charm of yours and win them over like you did with me.”

“Yeah, but you were after my smoking hot body,” Theo responded sarcastically. “It’s harder when I don’t have that as an advantage.”

He yelped when you slipped your cold hands underneath his jumper. Theo pried your fingers from his stomach before warming them up between his own. “See what I mean? You’re only using me for my perfectly sculpted abs.”

“I’d like to lick those perfectly sculpted abs in my childhood bedroom at the end of the night, so make sure you make a good first impression in there.”

“As if I don’t already have enough pressure on my shoulder,” he declared dramatically. “Now I have to swat your horny little hands away from me all night.”

“Oh, please. Like I haven’t caught you adjusting yourself countless times since we left the train.”

“It’s not my fault that my girlfriend’s absolutely fit, alright. The extremely short skirt doesn’t help either, love.”

“I’m wearing tights, you pervert.”

“Yeah, but when has that ever stopped me?”

“Behave, Theodore. I promise to reward you after.”

Theo sighed and flicked your nose. “I am but your humble servant, cara mia.”

You giggled and kissed his cheek. “Now come on, Teddy. Time to be a big boy and meet your girlfriend’s parents.”

The minute you opened the door, the nostalgic smell of freshly baked cookies and pine filled your senses. Christmas had always been a special occasion in your household, so it wasn’t surprising at all to find the entire flat festively decorated. The foyer was covered in floor to ceiling with fairy lights and wreaths lined the narrow hallway while garland twined around the staircase into the second floor. Theo peered around in wonder, seemingly amused by the statues of glittery snowmen, red nosed reindeers, and the white bearded man carrying a sack of gifts.

“Looks a bit like Dumbledore,” Theo said.

You snorted before leading him into the living room. The fireplace was lined with stocking and lit with a flame that cast a soft, cozy glow upon the fresh pine tree, which was adorned with a combination of ornaments and other quirky trinkets that you had collected over the years. Underneath it sat a mountain of neatly wrapped gifts.

“Is that you, bug?” called your father’s voice.

Your parents emerged from the kitchen, walking hand in hand towards you and Theo. Your father offered your boyfriend a warm smile, while your mother sized him up like she did to her opponents in court.

“This is the infamous boyfriend, then?” she asked with a raised brow.

“What my wife means to say is that we’re very happy to meet you, Theodore. Y/N has told us so much about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N. Please, call me Theo.” Theo shook your father’s hand before handing your mother a bouquet of sunflowers. “Y/N told me that sunflowers are your favorite. I hope these are to your liking, Mrs. Y/L/N.”

Your mum’s expression softened as she accepted the flowers. “These are quite lovely. Thank you, Theo.” She admired the sunflowers and smiled. “How did you manage to get your hands on these? They’re out of season for the winter.”

“My family grows them in an enchanted greenhouse back at our vineyard. My nonna actually helped me pick them out. She said that a real gentleman never shows up empty handed,” Theo flashed a charming smile before pulling a fresh tub of gelato from his bag. “Which is why I’ve come with dessert as well.”

“Flowers and ice cream?” Your father asked in an impressed tone. “Your nonna raised you well, young man.”

You chuckled. “It’s gelato, dad. Calling it ice cream is practically a criminal offense in Teddy’s eyes.”

Theo blushed at the nickname while your parents shared an amused look. “Well, Teddy,” your father playfully teased, “You can educate us poor English folk on the intricacies of gelato after dinner.”

Calling the spread your mum had prepared dinner seemed like an understatement. She certainly didn’t hold back on preparations this year. All of the classics were there—prime rib, yorkshire pudding, praline chestnuts and sprouts, and roasted potatoes. While you enjoyed the food at Hogwarts, there was truly nothing like a home cooked meal.

“Before we dig in,” your father started, “We have a little tradition in this house. Every Christmas, we go around the table and say a few things that we’re thankful for. You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to, but it’s been a bit of a ritual for us since Y/N forced us all to do it because she thought it would earn her more presents from Santa when she was five.”

You flushed in embarrassment. Theo grinned at you like he’d just learned a life changing secret. “I’d love to participate. Maybe I’ll get extra gifts from Sandy Claws, too.”

The cheeky bastard shot you a wink, which made your parents laugh. “It’s Santa Claus, Theodore.”

“Potato, potato, amorina.”

With a fond eye roll, you clapped your hands together. “I’ll start us off then. I’m thankful for mum and dad. Loons, Pans, and the boys. Teddy, of course. And my last year at Hogwarts.”

Your mother and father went next. In true mum fashion, the first thing she gave thanks for was her landslide win against another misogynistic barrister. She used a few colorful words to describe him, which made Theo’s eyes grow wide before he burst into laughter and whispered that he now understood where you got your attitude from. Dad’s declaration was considerably less vulgar, but very sweet and endearing nonetheless as he gushed about his two favorite girls.

When it was Theo’s turn, you were surprised to find him a bit shy and nervous. You grabbed hold of his hand underneath the table and squeezed in reassurance.

“I’m thankful for my wonderful girlfriend and her lovely parents for inviting me to Christmas dinner. I’m thankful for my friends and family, especially my crazy old nonna who regularly gets into screaming matches with the neighborhood pigeons. And…I’m thankful that I’ll be attending Cambridge in the fall.”

“You got in?” you asked excitedly, nearly leaping off your chair.

Theo nodded sheepishly, chuckling as you threw your arms around him and squealed. “Oh my god, Teddy. That’s amazing. I’m so excited for you!”

“Congratulations, Theo,” your mum said. “You should be very proud of yourself.”

“Well done, young man,” your dad added, clapping Theo on the back. “Well done indeed.”

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. By the time dessert rolled around, Theo had completely won your parents over. You swore that he could’ve charmed the feathers off of a hippogriff. No one in the muggle or wizarding world was safe from the cheeky little grin of Theodore Nott.

After gorging yourself on stracciatella, your parents were more than happy to pull out the embarrassing childhood pictures. A delighted Theo devoured every humiliating picture of you from your unfortunate bowl cut when you were three to the slight overalls obsession you had at age six. He beamed at a photo of you posing proudly with your Hogwarts letter.

“That was a very special day for our little bug,” your father recounted fondly. “Professor McGonagall delivered the letter in person and explained that our baby girl was a witch.”

Your mum smiled, recalling the memory. “Obviously, it was a lot to take in, but Minerva was incredibly patient. Neither one of us knew that magic was actually real, but I suppose that after the initial shock wore off, we weren’t really all that surprised. We always knew that Y/N was special.”

Theo twined your fingers through his. “Yeah, she really is. Y/N has kept me on my toes since first year. I don’t think I would’ve tried this hard at school if it weren’t for her.”

“Oh, we know,” Mum said with a chuckle. “She used to write letters about the infuriating Nott boy who kept taking the top spot in class. Imagine our surprise when she told us that the two of you had started dating.”

“This one was adamant about meeting you properly,” your father chided as he wrapped an arm around your mother. “Said she wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t break our little girl’s heart.”

“I assure you, I wouldn’t even dream of doing such a thing. Y/N has my heart in her hands and she has the power to do whatever she pleases with it.”

You blushed furiously, but Theo didn’t even appear fazed. For him, this wasn’t an attempt to flatter or impress your parents. He was merely stating facts.

“Smart answer, Theo.” Your mum said, nodding in approval. “We expected nothing less. It’s clear that you adore our daughter and vice versa. My husband and I are genuinely pleased to meet you and we’re looking forward to seeing more of you in the future.”

Theo beamed and placed an arm around your shoulder. “I’ll be here for as long as she’ll have me.”

You chuckled softly as your father sniffled a little, blinking away his teary eyed expression. “Well, we’ll leave you kids to it before dear old dad gets any more sentimental than he already is. Be sure to introduce Theo to Bandit, bug.”

After you parted for the night, Theo turned over to you with a smile. “So, bug. Do I finally get to snoop around in your room?”

You sighed dramatically. “Fine, but not a word about my stuffies or else I’ll stupefy you and send you on the next train home.”

“My lips are sealed, amore mio.”

The door to your bedroom creaked slightly as you made your way inside. Theo followed closely behind and took in every detail. You looked around the room, trying to see it from your boyfriend’s perspective.

The walls were painted a vivid sky blue color and all of your furniture came from a French vintage market, designed to fit perfectly with the overarching Marie Antoinette theme. There were gold stars painted on the ceiling, which you and your father had painted over the summer after your first year. It had taken the entire holiday since the Ravenclaw within you insisted on properly depicting an accurate star chart.

Books littered every corner of the room, some neatly categorized in shelves and others strewn in every available nook and cranny to accommodate the overflow. This year you opted to arrange a small stack of your favorite novels, twining fairy lights through them and forming the perfect book lover’s festive tree.

By far your favorite place in the whole world besides Hogwarts was the little bay window that faced west of your neighborhood. You had many fond memories from your childhood of curling up with a good book under the warmth of the setting sun.

Theo made himself comfortable on the cushioned bench and stretched his long legs. He grabbed the stuffed raccoon perched on the windowsill and grinned.

“And who might this be?”

You plucked your favorite stuffed animal from your boyfriend’s hands and settled into his lap. “Teddy, meet Bandit.”

The edges of his lips quivered. “You named your stuffed raccoon Bandit?”

“I realize it may not be up to your sophisticated standards, but keep in mind that I was two when I got him. Bandit was the best I could come up with.”

“I’m not making fun,” Theo said, wrapping his arms around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “I happen to think it’s adorable. I bet you used to cuddle with him every night.” He poked Bandit’s fuzzy nose. “Sorry mate, but I’m afraid I’ve taken your spot and I’m quite loath to give it up.”

“You do a lot more than cuddle with me, Theo.”

Your boyfriend covered the stuffed raccoon’s ears. “Not in front of the stuffie, dear.” You rolled your eyes and swatted his hands away. “I’d apologize for her vulgar behavior, but I’m sure you’ve witnessed it far longer than I have.”

“On second thought, I think I much prefer to cuddle with Bandit. He gives me a lot less sass.”

Theo tilted your chin, grinning as he nuzzled his nose against yours. “You love my sass,” he whispered against your lips.

“Not as much as I love your ass.”

He chuckled as he pressed his lips against yours. You sighed as he kissed you deeply, your fingers automatically fisting the front of his cashmere sweater. Theo tasted like stracciatella and spearmint toothpaste and you smiled as his arms snaked around your waist while his tongue flicked against your bottom lip.

Theo caressed the curve of your jaw and pulled away reluctantly. “As much as I love where this is heading, I’d like to give you your present before you maul me entirely.”

You swatted his arm. “I don’t maul, Theodore.”

“Maul, devour. Same difference. Now come on, love. It’s already past midnight, which means we can exchange gifts.”

“Fine,” you sighed exasperatedly.

In reality, you were more than excited to do your first exchange with your boyfriend. You walked over to your dresser and retrieved the neatly wrapped gift hidden within. The green and silver wrapping shimmered in the moonlight and was topped with a silk black ribbon. Theo grinned as he presented his gift, which was adorned in blue and gold paper. Sometimes it was scary how similar your minds worked.

“You first, cara mia.”

Theo watched as you carefully unwrapped the present. You pulled out a gray fleece jumper and chuckled when you saw the Cambridge crest embroidered on the front. It was identical to the one Theo had given you at the start of term, but with a more legible design.

“I hope that this doesn’t make you think you’re getting your old jumper back.”

“Of course not. I have long accepted that every one of my jumpers will end up in your greedy little hands.” You stuck your tongue out rather childishly while clutching the jumper, which made Theo chuckle. “That’s not all, my love. There’s another gift in there for you.”

Sure enough, underneath the jumper was another smaller box wrapped in gold. The paper looked suspiciously lustrous. You wouldn’t have been surprised if it was made from actual gold. As soon as you saw the corner of the book, you nearly shrieked.

“Theodore! You absolutely did not!”

Theo smirked. “I absolutely did too.”

In your hands was a first edition illustrated copy of Pride and Prejudice. It was bound in soft leather and had the original blue cover surrounded with golden peacock feathers. Aside from a few wears and tears, the book was in pristine condition. It felt almost sacrilegious to hold such a beautiful piece of literature in your hands. Especially since owning it had been your dream since you were a little girl.

“How did you know?”

“The field trip to Edinburgh. I saw you looking at it in one of the bookshops.”

“That was over a year ago,” you said in complete astonishment. “Back when we were still bitter enemies. I can’t believe you remembered.”

“I remember everything about you, my love.” Theo smiled softly. “I’ll never forget the way your eyes lit up that day. I didn’t even think twice before buying it if it meant seeing you smile like that again.”

Your eyes filled with tears. “It’s too much, Teddy. This must’ve cost a small fortune.”

He shrugged. “What’s the point of being rich and handsome if I can’t spoil my girlfriend? Money isn’t an object, principessa. I’d gladly drain my vault at Gringott’s in exchange of making you happy.” Theo swiped a tear from the corner of your eyes. “Besides, the book is non-refundable so you better make sure to put it to good use.”

The laugh that left your lips was slightly hoarse and your chest constricted with emotion as all of your affection for this sweet, wonderful boy threatened to spill over.

“Ti amo, Theo.”

“Ti amo cosi tanto, Y/N.”

You kissed the tip on his nose and smiled at the blush warming Theo’s cheeks. “You know you’ve made it nearly impossible to follow that up, right?”

“Why do you think I wanted to go first?” You swatted his arm, which only made him grin in response. “I’m kidding. I’m sure I’ll love your present.”

You nodded, pushing the green and silver box towards him. Theo opened it slowly and lifted the lid. He immediately smiled when he saw the vinyls. After a trip to Camden Market, Theo had fallen in love with a record player and lugged the thing all the way back to school. The boys were fascinated by the muggle invention and played the few records Theo owned until they were scratched beyond belief.

Theo shuffled through the Smiths, the Cure, the Clash and Fleetwood Mac with increasing excitement. When he pulled out the Queen record that you purposely saved for last, a fond expression settled over his features.

“I think I knew I was in love with you the night you snuck me into the music room,” he said softly. “I suspected it for a while before that, but then I heard your cute little snort for the first time and I knew I was done for.”

“Oh my god, Theo. You totally had a crush on me. How embarrassing.”

Theo rolled his eyes affectionately. “Thank you, amore mio. I really do love it. I can’t wait to listen to all of them.”

“There’s—um—another gift in there for you.” Your boyfriend raised a brow at your sudden nervousness. He moved the vinyls aside and found a golden badge carefully wrapped in black silk. A broom and wand was etched on the gilded surface as well as Theo’s name. Underneath it was the title ‘Sports Coordinator.’

“After the slug club dinner, Harry and I started working on something. We both agreed that the separation in this school is doing more harm than good, so we talked to a few people from different houses—Cassius, Hannah, Colin, Cho and a few others who felt the same way that we did. After meeting a few times, we proposed creating an inter house committee that basically acts as a student governing body that represents members of every house equally. We can all collaborate on making decisions regarding social events, academic clubs, and even school policies. McGonagall approved it just before break. We’re hosting our first official meeting when we get back. Pansy agreed to be social coordinator, naturally. Cassius wanted to be treasurer. Did you know he’s quite good at maths? The other upperclassmen will be involved as well, but we wanted to leave the officer positions to the younger years because they’ll be spearheading it after we leave.”

You took a deep breath, anxiously fidgeting your fingers. “I was wondering…if you’d like to be the sports coordinator? I was thinking you could arrange the first interhouse quidditch game. I overheard you and the boys talking about it before.” Theo stared at you in absolute silence. “It’s alright if you don’t want to. I just thought maybe—”

The sentence was cut off as Theo took your face between his hands and kissed you more fiercely than he’d ever kissed you before, which was saying a lot. Your boyfriend was definitely not shy with physical displays of affection. It only took half a day for the rest of Hogwarts to know that you were officially dating after Theo kissed you in the middle of the Great Hall for everyone to see.

“Is that a yes?” you asked when he finally let you up to breathe.

Theo pressed his forehead against yours and smiled. “Of course it’s a yes.” He took the badge and pinned it onto his jumper. “I’ll wear the badge proudly, my love.”

You chuckled. “Sorry that my gift isn’t as good as a first edition Jane Austen novel.”

“Are you kidding? This is the best gift anyone’s ever given me. You single handedly created a new governing student body so that my friends and I and whoever comes after us won’t live in constant hate and judgment. You’re amazing, amore mio. I love that smart brain of yours.”

“Merry Christmas, Teddy.”

Theo gathered you into his arms and kissed the top of your head as you both looked out the window to watch the snow fall softly over the quiet neighborhood.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

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#WHEN IS IT MY TURN HM #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theo nott x you #theo nott smut #theo nott imagine #theo nott x y/n #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott smut #theodore nott imagine

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timemachineyeah · 2 years

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I think it’s interesting that we learn Philip and Caleb became witch hunters to fit in to the existing culture of Gravesfield.

Because the thing about witch hunts is, there’s a lot of zealotry and tattling involved. If they weren’t a pair of traveling radicals, but rather two side characters in an ongoing town furor? That changes things.

Up until now I’ve been a little curious about the dynamic of having Philip be the younger brother. We are more used to stories where the older person has authority over the younger in a way that allows them to be despotic. Basically when you have two siblings in fiction and one is evil, it’s usually the older one. But Caleb seemed pretty chill? People with chill authority figures usually don’t grow up to do genocide? But Philip is really committed to genocide? And jealousy over your older brother getting a girlfriend is a weird thing to genocide over?

But now we learn, that’s not really the story. Or not the whole story.

This is a JoJo Rabbit situation. This is a Hitler Youth situation.

In a town that’s in a fervor to find the hidden secret evil citizens among them, kids are potentially dangerous. The children you love and care for are also the most likely to be unsavvy and get you killed. Sometimes older relatives under those circumstances have to, or at least feel like they have to, let their younger family members be indoctrinated without openly opposing it, even pretending to support it, because, well. Children talk. Often without filter. Maybe it would be okay, but

Is it worth risking one or both of you being hung in the square to test that theory?

So they get to this town. This town will hang or burn you if you aren’t pious enough. And this town defines piety by its hatred of The Devil. We are all trying to prove we hate the devil the most. And Caleb, older brother, is like, okay then. That’s what’ll keep us fed. That’s what’ll keep us safe. He’s not a zealot so much as he’s just trying to keep him and his kid brother alive and win the town’s favor. Maybe the zealotry even freaks him out a bit, but not enough. Not until he meets Evelyn.

But Philip? Philip believes. Of course he does. His brother has never made any indication to him that there’s room for doubt. No one has ever done that. At least no one whose execution he didn’t later watch with his entire community cheering it on. Because they were dangerous. Everyone knows how this neighbor got sick, how witches caused that terrible accident, how Satan tries to keep us from our eternal salvation. This is literal. This is real. This is eternal souls and cosmic reality. He’s a kid, at first. He gets indoctrinated young. He believes this.

And then they find the actual realm of demons. Actual hell. The source of all evil in the universe. Fucking obviously it is his divine calling to destroy it once and for all. Wouldn’t you? If you could end all suffering? Save everyone for eternity? Surely that is noble. Righteous. Sacred.

And how is he supposed to believe anything else? What is easier to believe: the whole world is a lie and he has been watching innocent people killed for entertainment since he was a child - which goes against everything he was ever taught and also feels fucking bad. Or: the witches used their evil magic to convince my brother they aren’t evil, which proves how evil they are. That lines up perfectly with everything I know, everything everyone around me has always said, and makes it okay that I participated in those public executions, and also gives me some good righteous anger to fuel me on a genocidal rampage for as long as I continue to exist.

In Philip’s head, he’s the center of his dramatic fantasy epic. He’s the lone hero up against the big bad. He’s going to take on the Devil himself.

Idk, I just think it’s cool that The Owl House was like, “hey, Satanic panics, fascism, and genocide are allied ideologies, perhaps even the same ideology, and it’s Bad”

Also, “societal pressure to conform enables and even encourages people to hurt those they love”. Camila tried to send Luz to camp because she didn’t want Luz to be bullied the way she had been, because Luz’s principal told her she had to. It was a gesture born out of a desire to protect her, but one that would ultimately hurt. Caleb let Philip grow up more pious than he was because it seemed safest, to protect him. Philip grew up believing in eternal damnation and righteous cruelty, something that has clearly ultimately hurt him I mean look at what he is now. Philip, meanwhile, hurt Caleb and continues to hurt his family because he thinks there’s a Right and Wrong way to exist. To be. The ultimate call for conformity. For hegemony. But he didn’t spontaneously generate this belief. It was reinforced from a young age from a society that wanted to make sure no one was deviating too much. To centralize and maintain power through manipulation, exploitation, and force.

Anyway I cannot fucking wait for Camila and Eda to meet oh my fucking god

#timemachine wuz here #the owl house spoilers #the owl house #toh spoilers #toh #philip wittebane

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lostdrarryfics · 2 months

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lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! February 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of February. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. looking for a fic that came out maybe between 2003-2009 on fanfiction.net. In it, Sirius and Remus are alive and dating, and they are Harry’s gay godfathers. They might give Harry a makeover. Harry and Draco fall in love, and I think that they’re still at school. Lucius and Voldemort are dating at Malfoy Manor and one of them has a thing for purses. Lucius swishes his hair a lot.

2. fic on ao3. It was a pre war drarry. Draco-centric where he befriended harry. I think it was time travel fix it, but im not very sure. Lucius and draco are arguing about Draco’s behavior and lucius smacks draco in the face. his ring cuts dracos cheek and he bleeds. Both him, narcissa, and draco are shocked over this since its not like lucius to hit draco. Narcissa yells at lucius and then tries to talk with draco in his room. Im pretty sure draco ran off to 12 grimmauld place after that and sirius and harry where there when he arrived. I think he arrives at hogwarts train with a bandage in his face. pretty sure draco was the one to get sirius out of Azkaban early

Found! 3. I read this fic a pretty long time ago, at least 5 years and I've been looking everywhere for it but can't find it. I think it was on ao3, eighth year, where Harry gets turned into a kid (around 7years maybe? Definitely under 10) and McGonagle makes Draco take care of him. Harry has big scars on his back from the Dursleys and they cause him to have seizures (? Or something like spasms maybe that are painful) fic is not The Dragon and The Golden Baby by jolly_love

Found! 4. looking for a fic I read in the past couple months on Ao3 where Harry has a menial job at Gringotts as a form of repayment. He knows his goblin co-workers pretty well but he’s not allowed to do any important work. He and Draco are tasked with opening a box that hold’s a witch’s will and the key turns out be a pendant his goblin boss is wearing and it’s revealed that he and the witch had a relationship. It was not part of a larger series and it was probably under 15k words. fic is not Reparations by Lomonaaeren

5. it’s years post war and Harry has been an auror abroad. I think maybe France? But he comes back for a case and is surprised to be working with Draco. Then he learns Draco is friends with all his friends, especially Luna and Neville. There’s a scene where Luna asks him to model for her cuz her model dropped out last min and Harry loses his mind over the photo the next day.

6. slowburn drarry fic! unfortunately all I remember is that Draco had been sorted into a house other than Slytherin, and Hermione often helped him with his anxiety being around crowds

7. Draco asked harry what would happen if the aurors come to take him to Azkaban for the use of his wand, and Harry answers that he would kill them all and them do it with Draco right there, I know that harry was morally grey but not dark harry

Found! 8. It’s an eventual Tom/Draco/Harry story. Good dark side. Harry ends up kidnapped/captive and they realise he is abused and start taking care of him. He is kept in a hotel in France I think. Dumbledore gets him back and uses a ritual to turn him into a puppet. Ginny and hermione support this. Ron eventually regrets and helps Draco let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. They reverse the ritual on Harry. Dark side wins.

Found! 9. I don’t know which year, but it’s one of the fanfictions where Harry is the Heir to like 8 different families, and Narcissa teaches him etiquette. The thing that is stuck in my head is that he uses a special knot for his tie, which represents all the families. I think he was actually introduced to the Wizengamot and voting on stuff, but I might mix that up with other similar fanfictions. fic is not Birth of the Serpent King by Keira Marcos

10. post-war fic I read on Ao3 probably in 2021 or 2022. All I remember is that Harry accidentally travels through time and wants to again (for Draco obvs) but Hermione says even his small trip caused big changes and now there's this thing called Brexit.

#our new monthly roundup!#drarry #lost fic #drarry fic #drarry fic search #drarry squad

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anika-ann · 14 days

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GG Steve and A, I, and/or R??

Well hello, Ro, sorry that this took so embarrassingly long 🥲

Here are some dirty thoughts from this game concerning my beloved Gentle Giant Stevie from Love on the Brain in scrambled order... you'll find the dirtiest and longest at the bottom (is this a pun? it's a bad pun). Technically, the you is his partner in every sense of the word aka Sparkles, but it can be read independently of the series.

Thots under cut. Warnings: they are 18+, okay- also there's very little editing, it's a headcanon, not an essay.

R - Routine (do they have a routine when it comes to picking up one night stands? do they have scheduled sex with their partner? are things spontaneous or planned ahead of time?)

One-night stands are no-no. Very much no no and they were even before he met you… but where scheduled sex is concerned the answer is also no. With your crazy schedules, it might make sense to try to plan so you can squeeze in some intimate together time, but with emergency missions… not so much. Things keep getting in the way (cough cough, there might be a ‘drabble’ about them getting actually frustrated at the lack of closeness and sexual encounters of theirs in general due to schedule conflicts). So spontaneity usually wins – certainly in a way of appreciating every moment you catch together. It doesn’t always have to be sexual per se, but it often ends up that way 😏 You had two years of pent-up sexual tension, can anyone blame you??? Not to mention that adrenalin and emotions can sometimes fly high, so if there is something routine-like, it’s winding down together after a mission, be it sweet and tender, all desperate hungry kisses with clashes of teeth, grasping and grabbing and fuck me we are alive, or celebratory god damn you were hot and capable and badass today. Does that count as a routine? One routine thing though; Steve is a man with a plan. Just because he doesn’t necessarily schedule sex, he is using his strategic mind to find windows in your calendar so you find time to be together. To take you out for a date for dinner, for a bike ride, or just lie under the stars and cuddle. Sure, these things often do result in intimacy of all kinds, but that man has a heart larger than his already impressive body and you fill a huge portion of it; it’s only fair you take up his time too.

P.S. The man is not only a planner but an overthinker often. Remember when it took you forever to sleep together for the first time? He ran his mind over thousands of scenarios, planned everything he’d say, everything he’d do, guessed how you’d react (and had some alone time over that a lot),how many times he’d get you off before he starts counting the times he will. Because he wants to treat you right and the one moment when you admitted a guy had been after getting you to bed and then instantly fled the so-called relationship since he got what he wanted is ingrained in his brain and he’ll do everything in his power to show you that he’s not him. Even if it means blue balls or might result in a supersoldier carpal tunnel issues.

Which gets us to:

A - Alone time (how do they get off when they’re all by themselves? do they watch porn, is it all in their imagination, do they jerk off, do they use toys?)

I’ll start with the last one: nah. There is no way he got his hands on toys in his original time and he was doing just fine and he doesn’t need them now. How would he even get them without half the globe learning about it? No thank you. He’s got hands. Two big hands. If you ever express interest in him using toys on you, he is all game and will get off on watching you squirm and nearly lose your mind to pleasure – which he will try to replicate on his own because dammit he will not have some toy satisfy you better, at least make it a cooperation dammit – but not on himself. Not when alone.

Steve’s a sensual, visual guy. He imagines a lot, but feels rather bad jerking off to a specific person, because it feels rather… invasive and unfair. So his mind conjures images, perhaps a combination of actual memories of voices and visuals (and yes, some inspiration might have come from porn, but he doesn’t downright puts on an adult movie and gets on it, nope), perfumes and scents, images of hands smaller than his on him he can mimic by his own touch and that is what gets him going… and off. If he has the time. He doesn’t have a problem with a quick work in a shower (which often is a solution and I know I share this headcanon with someone, cough cough).

The problem starts when you join. Because A, his need of alone time increases exponentially and B, his mind just. Wouldn’t let go. He’s damn ashamed of it, because you are friends and your friendship is sweet and teasing and maybe there’s a little bit of flirting, and the act itself feels like defiling you, but well, there’s the fact that he would like to defile you. He has so many memories of you filling his senses that get him off, even if they come from workout or from movie night or from perfectly innocent hugs. He feels like a creep and it’s utterly disrespectful to you, but he can’t help it. He tries to relief his conscience by not actively starting with imagining you.

In that sense, it is a real liberation to him when you get together, because he might need a lot of alone time then too before you take your relationship to that level, but at least his conscience is clean even as his mind is filthy.

Speaking of filthy mind… drabble-ish thots ahead.

I - Impact play (here’s where talking about things like spanking, paddles, canes, floggers and the like.) - not me having to google stuff on this

My instant reply was no. NOT STEVE. No violence in any form in the bedroom, not in intimacy. Violence is for battlefield, for missions. For training to a point, and even there he’s careful not to hurt you. When in bed, he might hold you a little too tight, grab a little too harsh, knead and squeeze and maybe suck enough to bruise when you feel just so good and he’s losing himself in you, losing control, but no hitting or slapping or-- nope. He earned the nickname of a Gentle Giant for a reason he might be sensual to a point of filthy, but if he hurt you (even if you asked), he couldn’t look himself in the eye in the mirror.

BUT ALSO.

He’s a handsy man. He does adore drowning all his senses in you, he loves exploring his lover’s body with all he has and he simply loves to touch at all times, feel the softness and warmth and slick, every curve, the thundering of your heartbeat under your skin with his fingertips or lips. To taste you where you let him. Inhale the scent your perfume, your arousal, the heady smell of sex in the air. To listen to the little or not so little noises, swallow them and let them melt on his tongue. To watch.

And that’s when it happens.

He didn’t mean to do it. He did not, and he’s horrified for a split second, because fuck he did not just- You were riding him. A glorious sight, pretty flushed face with slightly love-bitten lips and pupils blown with pleasure, breasts bouncing, muscles straining and little overworked from having mostly earned that previous orgasm on your own besides his lazy strokes over your clit and feeling where you were joined; you stilled for just a moment to get precious air into your lungs, breathy sounds of his name falling from your parted lips, so gorgeously fucked out and still needy for him and he could feel you so close again, his hand spread over your breast, over your hip, gripping and kneading your ass, your thigh and you were almost there, fluttering around him and he wanted one more, sweetheart, gimme one more, wanna feel you and he---

He meant to tap your thigh in encouragement when you started moving again, chasing your peak and it turned out to be more of a full-palm slap over the tempting curve of your ass and it was an accident, Steve would swear it.He froze, his thoughts faster than the reaction of your body, mind already flaring with horror and anxiety by the time your body caught up with what he had done nd had not meant to do and you-

You squeezed his cock so hard he felt it in his throat and he nearly choked, but mainly felt his groin spasm as you lost yourself to pleasure and all it took was a few rapid thrusts into your spasming burning heat and he was done for. Your juices coating his balls. His mouth slanting over yours on instinct even as the keen you released was the single lewdest soundhe had ever coaxed from you and his balls might be empty, but his chest is full of pride and his brain empty of thought but full of question marks, new fantasies and an image of you etched into his memory forever.

Your hips are still jerking minutely on instinct, your face now hidden in his shoulder, chest heaving beautifully against his, his lips kissing anywhere they can reach and holy damn. His hands grow softer, more comforting than exploring, mouth whispering sweet nothings even as they want to ask questions. You’ll tell him; he hopes you will. If there was one thing you were learning fast, it was communication; the last time you failed to communicate on a massive scale about how you felt, you ended up longing and lusting after one another for about two years. He’d rather not wait that long.

But he doesn’t press; in return, you press to him, peek at him shyly and kiss his lips sweetly, climbing off him only to settle in his lap anyway and hug him close, finger drawing non-sensical pattern on his shoulder and back until you both rise and rinse the sweat and other juices off your bodies in a shower together.

Only when in fresh sheets – the previous ones were beyond saving, at least for the night – when held close in his arms, gentle hands mapping out the familiar, and with sleep evading you despite the sleepiness and comfort of each other’s embrace, you confessed.

“I… I think I really liked it because I—I know you’d never hurt me,” you admit softly, earning a thoughtful hum at the half explanation.

“I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t expect that reaction either, but I’d never do it without asking first. You know that, right?”

“I know. That’s what I mean, GG. I trust you…” you remind him softly, even as you teeth worry over your still kiss-swollen lower lip. “But if you… liked it too, you can do it again. Sometime. I… you didn’t mean to do it, I get that, but you let yourself get lost in the moment. With me. You lost- you let go of control a bit… for me. You let go because you feel comfortable enough with me to do that. That means a lot to me. And… you feeling so good with me that you… lose it and take what you need – without hurting me besides a little fading red mark or a tiny bruise – makes me feel pretty damn powerful and proud too. Really wanted and desired… pretty golden.”

The admissions hang heavy in the air, your whole body buzzing with nerves, a little voice in your head sleazily whispering of judgement. Your Gentle Giant, looking at you with disdain, even as what you confessed weren’t all that scandalous. The things you had encountered in your BAU days made this look about as freaky as wearing a little lace. And yet… your body buzzes with nerves and a little thrill and the chances of falling asleep now are precisely zero.

The voice falls silent the second Steve turns you in his arms so you face him and you find him watching you with his smile warm, eyes blown wide and curious – and everything but tired just like you.

“I do trust you too,” he whispers, fingertips brushing your cheekbone, strand of hair from your face, eyes roaming your face until they fall a little lower, as if in shame. Even in the limited light, you can tell his face is burning too. “Where-- I’d always ask, but--- and never with force, I don’t want to hurt you, and never your face, I--- but if I ever… where?”

Your heart thunders in your ribcage. You gulp as with his every word, it leaps into your throat too, your body brimming with nervous energy. But he watches with such genuine curiosity and excitement, the plans no doubt already whirling in his head, the strategist, the planner, the lover, the pleaser… the little shit. Your GG.

Your face is aflame, your hand shakes a little as you take his and it’s both anxiety and arousal, something scalding hot pulsing in your core again, when you lead that hand to set on your bare hip.

His gaze is dead set on yours, watching your reaction; you know he picked up on your quickened breathing, as you guide his hand over the globe of your ass, over your outer thigh, skim over the front to slip on the inside, heading higher, under his hand is cupping your sex.

His gaze is smouldering. You nervously lick your lips, escaping the cage of his gaze because you cannot bear it anymore, a little whisper of shame returning to back of your head, but the moment you look away, his free hand – the other is still touching you – slides under your chin, thumb brushing over your lips. The thumb of his other hand does the same as he slips under your panties and moves to your slick sex and slightly swollen and oversensitive bundle of nerves. Erection poking your thigh. Mouth against yours, whispering.

“Good to know, sweetheart…” Rough. His voice is so rough and husky and his lips are slick and warm and filthy. “Anything for ya’. Love ya so much… got me so hard for you again… the things you do to me, I swear-”

He clearly picked up more than on you just liking just the touch alone; the filthy praise spills from his lips, empowering, and the late night finds you tangled in the sheets once more, languid deep kisses that consume you, the connection forged by a secret revealed, secret shared, whispering between you about next time, even as now is all that matters, all you feel.

Steve is an observant man; he still needs confirmation ahead, but he learns the signs. It’s not something you engage in often, but he recognizes that soft mewly quality to your sighs now, the special glint in your eyes barely even hinting you need it; and he gives. And since he has consent, he lets himself lose control with you a little bit more too.

-.-.-.

Ro, I think I read too many of your wonderful replies to this game that I adopted the manner in which you write them. Ehm. I hope that's okay with you.

Thank you for the ask 💕 It took forever, but it was fun ✨

#reply #asks #anika replies #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #dirty asks #steve rogers x you #captain america x you #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #lemons #lemony lemons

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raceweek · 10 months

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Hey what happened in the 2020 season with Alex? (Sorry new fan and still learning)

omg you never need to apologise to me for not knowing things i literally know nothing

the 2020 season from the alexnation perspective was like being in a hamster ball being hurled around for 5 months straight basically but here’s the breakdown:

so for context 2019 was really really good for alex he was promoted as a rookie and he shunted a fair few times and most of the time wasn’t on maxs quali pace but red bull were the third quickest team so he wasn’t expected to win or anything. alex ultimately beat pierres points tally from his 12 races in the red bull within 7 as a rookie so like. whilst it was insane behaviour for red bull to promote him in the first place he did perform phenomenally

then we turn to 2020 pre season testing. mercedes was dominant as per (dreamy sigh) and the red bull was quick but looked. edgy. for both alex and max but ferrari were fucking nowhere so it was still like really positive for red bull bc it was basically two extra places gained and then. global pandemic. and then as a footnote to the whole you know. global pandemic. sebastian vettel was dumped from the love island villa (ferrari (everyone gasped))

and then! triple header one and the first race in austria had max running an upgraded front wing and none for alex and it was like understood i think like it wasn’t a big deal at the time

and then everything that could have possibly happened. happened. in the race and alex and lewis…yeah. but the world did in fact keep spinning!

and then alex got p4 in the second austria race (altho. significantly off of maxs pace in p3 for sureee) and everyone was like if only max had a rear gunner (wistful) which in my opinion is an insult to lewis and the w11 but whatever. nothing else really happened here other than horner and marko making kissy faces at seb during this time but that’s just contextfkdkd

so then the next race in hungary alex qualified p13 and even though max only qualified p7 and it was the third race of the season alex was getting eaten alive and george was on live tv like red bull are making him look like an idiot and he’s not an idiot and they need to fix it for him and it was like fucking hell what is going ONNN we haven’t even made it to the third race yet (like imagine anyone coming out and declaring this after australia quali this year like. wild scenes)

so then one week break and then triple header two started and during the races at silverstone they start talking in the media about when the best time to demote alex is even though the only times he’d finished outside the top six was brazil 2019 and austria 2020 which. pls consult youtube if you need further info here

they also changed alexs race engineer in silverstone so More turbulence altho completely welcome this time (simon rennie come back we love u, ur so sexc haha x)

then during the final triple header 2 race in barcelona he gets put on the most ass strategy known to man like with context this was criminal behaviour actually

and then one week break and then triple header 3 starts (do you feel like a hamster yet) at spa and unbeknownst to us all at the time but later confirmed by will buxton and dts horner is in the mf pitlane in spa propositioning seb like one more year and then you can come home which. have some decorum alex is behind you in the garage. but anyway in the general media everyone was gagging for pierre’s red bull return so there were bigger fish

anyway. SPA. they did this to my boy

and alex made the best out of it but as per the comeback kid episode of dts that everyone loves (🙃) alex was made out to be useless and it was like. wtf did you expect

THEN between spa and monza helmut marko was like oh btw alex hasn’t actually had the same parts as max for most races this year okay bye and alexnation was like…wtf. but then no one else really cared and it was like UMMM OKAY

and then monza happened and alex was in a first lap sandwich involving pierre and then second lap crashed into grosjean (alexs fault - live laugh love x) and had a huge chunk of his floor missing so finished p nowhere and then. pierre won and good for her i guess but then ex drivers were on live tv demanding alex step down for pierre which like no one has ever done this in the history of the sport as far as im aware so it was fucking savage especially when this was the first race alex had finished outside of the points for red bull in (with the exception of the two aforementioned events)

and then mugello wooooooooooooo!! alexs first podium!!!!!! i was gassed at the time but it was sort of sad looking back like if you listen to his team radio across the line from getting p7 in canada and then compare it to his first podium in mugello it’s. yeah! we were enduring it!!

and then sochi happened in its own weird bubble and alex was nowhere really got caught behind carlos hitting the wall at the first corner after a poor quali and that was that

then. triple header number four starts with horner giving alex an ultimatum of we’re backing you but we want results in the next three races or ur finished hunny which. okay

then first race of the triple header max ends up blocking alex in his quali run (live laugh love 2.0 x) and then:

YEAH

nurburgring was the they race me so hard incident. available to view elsewhere bc god knows im not reliving that!!

imola was again nightmarish. red bull media team said alex was working with a mental coach (patrick his trainer had got mental health qualifications basically) and was supporting him etc which. here comes paul di resta live on air laughing about how max wouldn’t need mental support. it was once again. brutal. especially bc he was getting a load of xenophobic abuse online already like fuck off

back on the track alex basically spun on his own but thought he had been hit and no one thought to tell him before he went into the media pen that he hadn’t actually been hit so it was fucking awkward and yeah twitter was brutal again

then istanbul happened. red bull looked promising but both max and alex finished well off so it was just whatever really lewis did a madness no one really cared about red bull

then final three races of the season started with the grosjean crash in bahrain which ended with alex on the podium and then checo won sakhir and alex wasn’t really there and then we were at the final race in abu dhabi where red bull officially signed checo (as confirmed by will buxtons analysis of the curtains. god i can’t believe this season was real)

but alex didn’t find out for like two weeks later when the season was well and truly over and was taking drinks to the factory for everyone and it was heartbreaking and then he didn’t have a seat and spent the next year saying it killed him so. yeah…TA-DA

#tldr: nearly every round of the 2020 season had smth traumatic happen #and like i don’t think alex would beat max over the course of a season maybe ever but watching the events of this year was just cruel #asks #anon #alex albon

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heliads · 3 months

Text

i've been big and small (and big and small again)

The Ferrari news drops. Sebastian has to know.

masterlist

Sebastian sounds amused over the phone. Even more so than usual, actually. It figures. Anyone would be pleased if the entire motorsport world was tearing itself to pieces to determine fact from gossip and you were the one man with the central cause of the hubbub on the other end of the line. Sebastian Vettel has always been territorial and deeply possessive of the men and teams he covets. This, by all accounts, is a win for him.

It’s a win for both of them. Lewis could have addressed the rumors earlier, certainly, he has known how to handle the PR side of racing for years, but this time around he liked the unsteadiness of it all. Lewis has kept a level head for much longer than he’s really wanted to, and now he gets to revel in the mystery. For once, everyone can chase after him instead of the other way around. No more begging for good cars or for anyone to listen to his suggestions. Hopefully.

Plus, keeping the secrecy alive was all but a guarantee that Sebastian would call. Lewis is not above teasing a married man by leaving him sly details about his future like digital breadcrumbs on a path to more transgressions than either of them would ever admit aloud. Lewis knows perfectly well what he’s doing, and Sebastian does too. If he goes too far– which, above all things, is their favorite habit– well, Maranello is closer to a certain estate in Switzerland than Brackley, at any rate.

“So,” Sebastian says, dawdling on the line, “I seem to recall that I did a surprise switch to Ferrari before you. If this is imitation, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“A compliment?” Lewis repeats, chuckling. “Of course you would.”

“How else should I take it?” Sebastian protests. “You’re following in my footsteps, it’s lovely. Only, I hope you do a better job of it than I did. My time with the Tifosi was unfortunately lackluster. Fernando’s was as well, so you’ve got two of us to show up.”

“What if mine is too?” Lewis asks. It’s a question that’s been gnawing at him for a while. There is, of course, the freedom in joining with a new team, the resurgence of a hope that’s been steadily decaying for a while, but fear comes with it, the fear that even a new team, new colors, new everything, won’t be enough to reclaim past glory.

Sebastian blows out a low breath, and the static of it crackles over the speaker. Lewis shifts his grip on the phone, cradling it so he can expose more of his skin to the digital current. “Will that matter?”

Lewis scoffs. “Of course it matters.” He’s a man of results. If they try to discredit you, you prove your worth by making it impossible to ignore you. Wins give you protection, world titles give you armor. Lewis cannot afford to be mediocre. His life is one of excellence or nothing.

“I had thought you would say that,” Sebastian tells him wryly, and Lewis can imagine the quietly sarcastic uptick of his smile.

“Am I that predictable?” Lewis asks.

“Well, apparently not, because Sky Sports is running around like a headless chicken,” Sebastian informs him. “But anyone in your position would wonder about what they were doing. Eleven years is a long time to leave behind.”

Lewis shuts his eyes. “I know that part.”

As if he hasn’t thought through it already. Committing to Mercedes was exhausting, but leaving it took far more energy and nerve than even he’d expected. Lewis knows what he wants, an eighth championship with Mercedes and then an opportunity to fuck off forever without being bothered ever again, but sometimes he doesn’t always get what he wants. He’s learned that with Sebastian too, in the form of a ring on his finger that haunts Lewis like a hand around his throat.

“And I know the rest,” Sebastian muses. “We all have to try, and we all have to fail. It’s inevitable.”

“Inevitable,” Lewis says disbelievingly. “I don’t believe you’ve ever thought anything was inevitable. You’ve fought for everything in your life, even when you didn’t have to.”

Lewis can imagine Sebastian’s proud grin even without seeing his face. “I like to make life exciting, yes.”

“Difficult,” Lewis amends. “You like to make life difficult.”

“I make life interesting,” Sebastian suggests. “Can we agree on that?”

“We can,” Lewis decides. “Now, come on, man. This is the part where you try to convince me that the Tifosi will change my life. Radicalize me with Forza Ferrari or whatever it is that you do. Or at least remind me that there will be substantially less porpoising. Distract me from leaving the W14 behind.”

“And Bono?” Seb asks, clearly indulging himself.

Lewis snorts. “Don’t bring up Bono,” he says, but he’s laughing, and blushing more than he’s laughing, and he figures Sebastian can probably tell that even over the phone, so. Not a whole lot of disguising that, then.

Seb chuckles fondly. “You’ll have others.”

“Yeah?” Lewis asks, not quite listening.

“Yeah,” Sebastian affirms. “And old friends, too. There’s a lot to enjoy at Ferrari.”

“Tell me,” Lewis says.

Sebastian’s breath hitches in his throat at the order. And then he talks, and Lewis listens, and the time passes. Rumors spread. Neither of them care.

f1 tag list: @j-brielmalfoy, @juphey

all tags list: @wordsarelife

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tentacledsnakelover · 4 months

Text

Wild Kratts Episode Ideas

We made it another year. 2024, specifically, January 3rd, 2024, marks the 13th anniversary of Wild Kratts, which first aired in 2011 with Mom of a Croc. I remember first watching the bros as a toddler with Zoboomafoo, and I have grown up with Wild Kratts, from kindergarten to college. I owe the bros for opening my eyes to how amazing the creature world is. To celebrate, I wanted to share some episode ideas I came up with:

Fish Hacking 101: Chris and Martin desire to master the hunting techniques of the mysterious tentacled snake. But to Gourmand, the obscure serpent is just another ingredient for his latest dish.

Yetis and Leopards: To keep the bros away while they plan a surprise party, Aviva sends the bros looking for snow leopards. However, they find the mysterious cats much quicker than expected, forcing Aviva to keep the bros away from the Tortuga by baiting them with a Yeti robot she built, but snow leopards are great hunters.

Upriver With a Paddlefish: During Tortuga maintenance day, Koki goes kayaking, when she is hit by a jumping sturgeon. Injured and with her creature pod busted, the brothers find an unlikely hope in another strange looking fish.

Inferno the Fire Hawk: While visiting Australia, the crew observe a black kite intentionally setting fires. Paisley learns of this too, and hires Zach to mind control the birds into obeying her.

Dot and Stripe's Big Day: The crew have successfully rehabilitated a pair of orphaned Malayan tapir twins. But the spots the crew have chosen to release the siblings in have each been claimed by older, tougher tapirs. Aviva gives the bros Tapir powers so they can traverse the jungle and find new, suitable territory for the twins.

Ice Day for Salamanders: In the most ambitious experiment yet, the brothers freeze themselves alive in Siberian Salamander Powers for a day. However, Paisley abducts the brothers, intending to auction them off to the other villains to finance her schemes.

The Perfect Mudskipper Name: Martin's attempt to ride a mudskipper lead to him loosing his suit, and a mudskipper merging with it, like Seven did. The now humanoid fish kicks the gang out of the Tortuga, and all efforts to get him out of the ship and the suit fail. The brothers must learn to fight like a mudskipper to win their ship back, and get the fish back to normal.

Parrotfish Beach: While at the beach, Martin chances across a parrotfish. Not having seen one of the vibrant fish since they saved some from Zach and Donita, the team get to work to make a new suit. Meanwhile, Paisley has decided to create her newest road right through the reef, using a monstrosity of a machine she calls, "The Colossus of Roads".

Nudibranch Bingo: After finding a Blue Dragon Sea Slug, the brothers head to the Philippines in a game to see who can find the most species of sea slugs. Unbeknownst to them, Donita has hacked their cameras, so she can find and collect the colorful invertebrates to use in her newest designs, having grown bored of regular gems and jewels.

Hagfish Day: After finding out hagfish have a day dedicated to them, yet barely anybody knows about them, the brothers take the Pulponaut to the bottom of the sea to look for the elusive slime eels.

Jimmy and the Silverback: While his friends go off with a Gorilla troop, Jimmy laments his fear getting in the way of his desire to explore. Fortunately for him, another troop comes to the Tortuga. Unfortunately, the bros, Aviva, Koki, and the first troop, get in trouble, and Jimmy must step up to save his friends, and the gorilla.s

What Big Teeth You Have: While diving, the brothers chance upon a den of Wolf Eels and their eggs. Soon though, the bros must take up the duty to defend the nest after the parents are injured. While their friends take care of the expecting parents, Chris and Martin must keep the eggs safe. But competition is fierce. Octopus and other Wolf Eels want the den, and the brothers must keep them away.

Do the Velvet Worm: The brothers are on a long overdue adventure to find the rare and mysterious velvet worm, who thrive in wet and warm environments. But Paisley's newest scheme threatens to destroy the home of the worms, and all the other creatures there.

Keeping up with the Hornbills: Chris and Martin seal themselves in with an expecting mother Hornbill so that they can document the process, but when Donita teams up with Paisley to collect animals from the forest she is destroying, the tree the bros are in gets tossed into the river.

Condor Crash Course: A malfunction of the Tortuga's new autopilot system causes the ship to crash at the end of the Andes Mountains, and the crew are stuck at the other end. Martin thinks they could traverse the mountains with condor powers, but the trick is to find the birds first.

Quetzals of Then and Now: Aviva tells her friends the story of how her grandmother obtained the feathers of the Corcovado family birdie in a massive creature adventure.

Four Kratts and Some Saigas: The brothers' sisters come to visit, but creature adventuring doesn't stop for family reunions. The crew get a call of a herd of Saiga suffering from a bacteria infection.

Vampire Deer: The brothers learn about Chinese Water Deer, which have fangs in lieu of antlers. But the investigation into these weird deer is interrupted by Donita, who wants to use the deer as material for her new line of formal wear: Donita's Deer-est.

24 Hours in Lake Baikal: From freshwater seals to special sponges, and even weird natural formations, the record-holding Lake Baikal has caught the brothers' interest. It has also caught the interest of Gourmand and Paisley, who team up to make sure the brothers don't interfere.

Queen of the Meerkats: Struck by how fierce meerkats are, Zach captures the head female and several others to use in his new line of "Zach-Tion Figure" toys. Chris and Martin must save the meerkats while their friends keep what's rest of the fragile hierarchy from falling apart.

Olm's World: The brothers realized they never got around to making Olm powers. They return to Europe to find the mysterious "human-fish", so they can figure out the secrets of the unique salamander, such as how it can live for so long despite being blind.

Jamming With Moths: While building more bat boxes for their friend Bite-Size, Chris realizes the Little-Brown Bat, and all the other bats, are struggling to catch moths. The team is spurred by curiosity to determine whether the echolocation of a bat is truly a fool proof adaptation.

Be the Bee Eater: Bee Eaters are disappearing, and Zach is behind it. He plans to mind control the birds and sell them around the world as insect catchers.

Jumping Spider Jubilee: The crew split up to find the most unique species of jumping spiders. They will meet hunters, dancers, and even one little spider who lives up very high.

Night with a Not-Lizard: Impatient to study tuataras, a miniaturized Chris injures his leg, and he must use his skills, and the powers of the Tuatara, to avoid rats and other hungry predators to get back to the Tortuga.

#wild kratts #martin kratt #chris kratt #wild kratts fandom #2d kratt brothers #kratt

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pikahlua · 1 year

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Weird question but, is possession theory still on the table?

It’s horrifyingly alive and well, actually.

I just can’t help but notice that Horikoshi didn’t take the opportunity to revive Katsuki before Izuku left the UA stage. So what is he waiting for? What is it Horikoshi? Is it just gonna be Katsuki waking up at a pivotal moment to save Izuku from Tomura in battle? I just...I wonder. I wonder about that. I really, really wonder about that. Is that what Horikoshi truly is waiting for?

Because there’s someone else who’s trying to get to UA right now, too--someone with a time limit and not much to lose.

Yeah, there are a LOT of alarms going off right now. Some themes are really really really really really converging on a Katsuki vs AFO dynamic.

The question is: what will the nature of this clash be? A physical battle? A vestige-world showdown? Both?? GROUND BETA IS RIGHT THERE.

Katsuki caused AFO to feel genuine fear. When AFO realized that, it triggered a flashback of his fight with the Second OFA user (a flashback in which, lest we should ever forget, we see AFO crying). The flashback established the main philosophical battle: AFO’s “might makes right” philosophy where he values quirks based on sheer power versus the Second’s philosophy that the power of a quirk lies entirely in who is using it--or the “will behind the quirk.”

I shall wrap this up with an adapted explanation I gave in a discussion with @decaywasizukusquirk:

I think the story has said the moment where TomurAFO panics while fighting Katsuki is about AFO feeling fear. Then, with the flashback to Second's snarky moment, something is happening where Second's philosophies that AFO rejected are coming into play. In other words, Katsuki's will is far more terrifying to AFO than his Explosion quirk is.

Second challenged AFO by championing the philosophy that a quirk isn't what should be feared, it's the will of the person who uses the quirk that should be feared. Second was most likely a legitimate threat to AFO, and AFO can't stand that. AFO probably hates to even admit that, because AFO thinks everything really is about powerful quirks. Note how he decides not to steal Jeanist's quirk because he says the quirk isn't that great--it's just that Jeanist is very skilled with it. AFO's pretty dismissive of Jeanist's quirk because he isn't patient enough to learn how to use it well. When TomurAFO fights Katsuki, he determines that Katsuki's firepower is the biggest threat about him, so he breaks Katsuki's arm and then Katsuki's equipment. TomurAFO told Lemillion he wouldn't fight him because he's not actually a power threat; Lemillion is ENTIRELY a "how you use it" quirk guy. AFO has no imagination--he just picks out the most OP quirks that require little thought to use. His master plan to end All Might was BIG POWERFUL FIST OF PUNCHING!!!

And on the other end, we have Izuku who spent his whole life analyzing the THEORY to quirks. Izuku's all about the will, not the quirks themselves. He loves all quirks because they can all be used to do special things if you can just think about how.

So the point is, if anyone represents raw willpower in a heads-up fight, how is it not Katsuki, quirk or no? How is it not Mr. "I will twist myself to win the way I want. I won't accept I can't even beat you that way” himself? Katsuki thinks of battles in terms of what others can do strategically with and without quirks: he trusts in the wills of his teammates to "save him when he needs saving" and vice versa; he refuses to underestimate any opponent (or even any civilian); even when he thought Izuku’s quirk would be useless against All Might in their final exam, he still used Izuku as a body double equipped with one of Katsuki’s gauntlets to outwit All Might.

All together, this means AFO thought he had disarmed Katsuki and had no reason to fear him, but then Katsuki surprised him by reading the absolute hell out of him and by using his own Explosion quirk in a new way.

AFO is a manchild. He's literally a powerscaler dudebro.

Tell me I'm wrong. Tell. Me. I'm. Wrong.

#anon ask #ask pika #my hero academia manga spoilers #final showdown spoilers #katsuki bakugou #all for one #second ofa user #theory #possession theory #meta

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cowgurrrl · 11 months

Note

Can we get more LFTL dad Joel content? I love this series and you’re such a great writer!

Thank you for your sweet words!! I love some LFTL dad!joel content!! This ended up being more family fluff but it still works!

Love's Gonna Live Here

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Summary: The story of the Museum Day [1.1k]

Warnings: a little bit of grief but mostly fluff

Ever since Joel took Ellie to the museum for her birthday, she's wanted to go back every year. It's a relatively easy journey, and it's gotten easier as you pass through more and more times. At first, it was just you, Ellie, and Joel. Then it was you three, Tommy, Maria, and Camille. Then it was the six of you plus Charlie. Then Dina, Jesse, and JJ started tagging along too. Soon enough, you had a pretty big group going to the museum regularly. Dina and Maria even conspired to set up field trips through the elementary school. Joel was hesitant initially, but once word got out, keeping it under wraps was impossible. Before the first field trip, you and your little family went out to clean things up. Tear down old boards, sweep away leaves and dust, and even organize whatever dinosaur pamphlets were left.

After that first time, it became an annual event. Joel would lead the way, knowing the forest like the back of his hand, and Ellie, after saying she could never be a teacher, would go on tangents about space exploration and evolution to the next generation of students. The museum got a little cleaner every year, and things got a little more normal. You never ran into Infected or Raiders, and if you did, you had the mayor of Jackson and the Millers to keep you safe. It's a win for everyone. Ellie gets to share her knowledge and excitement, you and Joel get to get out of Jackson, and Charlie gets to learn new things. You also like to think the scientists and astronauts who did all that work are happy to know people are still learning about them even after the apocalypse.

This year is the first year Charlie's class gets to go on the field trip. She's ecstatic, telling everyone that her mommy, daddy, and Bellie will take them "to the stars," as Ellie told Charlie years ago. Dina, Jesse, and JJ come along too. JJ is finally growing out of the chubby toddler stage and more into an actual kid. It's scary to see how much he looks like Jesse but acts like Ellie, but you love watching him and Charlie interact.

As you walk to the museum, Joel takes turns carrying Charlie and JJ on his shoulders, pointing out different types of plants, and telling the kids how to look out for poison ivy. He tells them stories of what life was like before. He talks about cities like New York and Chicago and explains how cars work. At one point, you swear you can pinpoint the dreaminess in his voice as he talks about coffee. He talks about Sarah, too. He tells the kids about how she would scamper up big rocks and give him shit for wanting to go on hikes and things like that. She would be in her forties if she were alive today. Jane would be in her thirties. Still, you both imagine them as the fourteen and ten-year-olds they'll always be. You have nothing else to go on.

When you get to the museum, Ellie holds JJ and Charlie's hands as they walk through the exhibits. Ellie goes on and on about what year we went to space, what animal was the first to be in orbit, and the order of the planets. You and Joel hang back, letting the parents and kids follow Ellie. This is your favorite part: watching Ellie be herself. She cracks jokes, answers questions, and doesn't hesitate to get down on their level if needed. She's a natural. Dina watches Ellie, too, adoration and love so clearly shining in her eyes. You wonder if that's how Joel looks at you when you're not looking.

"What're you thinkin' bout?" Joel asks, bumping you with his shoulder, and you shrug.

"Thinking bout our girls."

"Which ones?"

"All of 'em." You say, and he smiles. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close, kissing your temple. You follow Ellie's lead through the museum and watch Charlie get excited as she listens to her big sister. As she makes it up to the dinosaur skeletons, Ellie looks at Joel knowingly and pulls a familiar brown hat out of her bag. You laugh as she throws it and perfectly lands it on the dinosaur's head. All the kids roar with laughter, but Ellie is looking at Joel.

"He's wearing a little hat!" Charlie exclaims, and Ellie smiles.

"Yeah, he is," Ellie says. Joel sniffles next to you, and you rub his back as he tries not to cry. All the kids get a turn in the spaceship, flicking the different buttons and pretending to blast off. You remember when Ellie did that for the first time. She was so little. Now, she's holding a kid on her hip and Dina's hand. She's a grown woman.

As the day wears on, Maria and Tommy start taking people back to town, but you, Joel, Ellie, and Charlie stay. You sit in the middle of the museum, watching the clouds pass through the skylight. Charlie sits in Ellie's lap, and Joel has an arm around her shoulder. You wish you had a camera to take a picture of how peaceful they look. Instead, you commit the image to memory and sit with them.

"I had fun with you today, Bellie," Charlie says, looking up at Ellie, and Ellie raises her eyebrows.

"Yeah?" She asks, and Charlie nods. "I had fun with you, too, kiddo."

"How old were you when you came here for the first time?" Charlie asks, and Ellie meets Joel's eyes over her head.

"Sixteen. Mom and Dad brought me here before you were born."

"That was a long time ago," Charlie says candidly, and Ellie laughs.

"Yeah, it was," Ellie agrees, kissing the top of Charlie's head. "You know, Dad pushed me in the river while we were on our way here the first time."

"Really?" Charlie asks with big eyes, looking between her and Joel, and you smile. Ellie nods with big, animated eyes.

"And you know what?"

"What?"

"I couldn't even swim."

"Daddy!" Charlie scolds Joel. "Bellie could've drowned!"

"You're right, Charlie Girl. I could've drowned."

"You weren't gonna drown!" Joel defends himself, and Ellie hums. "I was helpin' you build your confidence in the water."

"Mommy!" Charlie turns her attention to you. "Why didn't you stop Daddy from pushing Ellie?"

"Mommy was pregnant and shouldn't have even been on that trip!"

"That's true. You probably shouldn't have." Ellie says, and you laugh. The four of you settle against each other, sleepily watching the clouds move and the sky turn orange. The girls are tucked under one of Joel's arms, and you're tucked under the other, a heap of love and warmth. At one point, Joel kisses Ellie's temple and squeezes her shoulders. Then, so quiet you almost miss it, he says, "You did great today, kiddo." Ellie looks up at him, Charlie resting against her chest, and smiles sleepily.

"Thanks, Dad."

#look for the light #tlou fluff #the last of us fluff #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #joel and ellie #the last of us x reader #joel miller fic #dad!joel miller

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ga-yuu · 5 months

Text

WARNING! The story contains violence and child abuse

-----Part 1-----

Sueharu: "After I broke up with Morinaga and left town, I just couldn't help but feel miserable."

Sueharu: "Without money, you can't even be equal with a friend. I had to learn that the hard way."

Sueharu: "So I took the chance getting into a get-rich-quick scheme that just happened to come along."

Yoshino: "Get-rich-quick scheme?"

Sueharu: "I joined a group of thugs who's job was to attack rich people and rob from them."

(Eh....)

Sueharu: "They ambush passing oxcarts on deserted and unsightly roads and rob them of their money and goods."

Sueharu: "That's what they hired me for."

Yoshino: "That's...!"

(Of course it is wrong to be complicit in wrongdoings, but)

I couldn't even blame the young orphan who was trapped with no other choice.

Yoshino: "...Did you succeed?"

Sueharu: "At first, yes."

Sueharu: "But then one night, we attacked a big merchant's oxcart, and got our asses kicked."

Sueharu: "While most of the thugs were killed by the bodyguards of the merchant, I, a child was kept alive as a slave."

Yoshino: "...! Slave!?"

Sueharu: "Or to be exactly, a 'chicken'."

(Ah.....)

Blood drained from my face, as I realised he was referring to the cruel bet called cockfighting.

Yoshino: "That big merchant forced Sueharu-san to take part in a cockfight?"

Sueharu: "Yeah. And----"

Sueharu-san's eyes became dark and cloudy as if he was sinking into the memories of his past.

-----FLASHBACK-----

----The enslaved young Sueharu was taken to a 'gambling den' with other children.

In that place, killing and entertainment mean the same thing and life is far lighter than money.

Orphan 1: "Ngh. No. I don't want to..."

Orphan 2: "Please...please let me go..I'm scared..."

Kidnapper: "These brats are crying again. If it wasn't for tonight's show, I would have beaten them up."

The kidnapper who dragged the orphans out of the cell, clicked his tongue in annoyance.

Then the child who was sitting in the back of the cell with his head down reacted to the voice and looked up.

Sueharu: "....What are you going to make us do?"

Kidnapper: "Huh? What's up with that one?"

The child Sueharu, was the smallest and thinnest child out of all the kidnapped orphans.

However, his eyes were shining strangely in the darkness.

Kidnapper: "Whatever. Can't you guess by looking? These people are going to put their money on you."

Sueharu: ".........."

Beyond the kidnapper, there was a huge stage surrounded by a fence.

Two large men face each other with weapons in their hands.

Commentator: "Come on, come on everyone. All of these men you see here are thugs who have caused quite a stir in the city."

Commentator: "Only one person will survive tonight. It's up to you which one you want to bet on!"

Outside the fence, the audience on the couches shouted enthusiastically.

Sueharu: "...That's."

Kidnapper: "Those men were supposed to be executed of murdering people, but they were secretly enslaved and made to fight."

Kidnapper: "The nobles have bad taste, don't they? This is the only way we can make money."

Sueharu: "....So are we going to kill each other too?"

Sueharu held his breathe and glared at the kidnapper, who simply shrugged.

Kidnapper: "You're out of luck. This cockfighting is supposed to be a spectacle of one-sided slaughter."

Kidnapper: "Tonight, you will be fighting prisoners who have won previous fights."

Sueharu: "Ngh...."

----Part 2-----

Kidnapper: "Tonight, you will be fighting prisoners who have won previous fights."

Sueharu: "Ngh...."

Kidnapper: "Well, it's not something a kid a can win anyways. I'm here waiting for the time you brats die."

The orphans' faces gradually turn pale.

Commentator: "First game begins!"

The men's angry shouts and the sound of deadly blades striking each other echoed in the night.

The orphans clenched their eyes shut and cried out in horror.

Sueharu: "I don't..."

Sueharu: "I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die..."

Only one person...Sueharu, trembling at the sight of cruel wager without blinking.

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

Sueharu: "....That was the start of my nightmare."

(How cruel....)

I let out a long breath that I have been holding in.

My nails dug into my clenched fists, causing a dull pain.

-----Options------

Why did Sueharu-san have to go through all that...

I still can't forgive them.

Normally, I'd be scared....

-------

Yoshino: "Why did Sueharu-san have to go through all of that?"

Sueharu: "Fate is often like that. Those who are not born with luck, will never taste it anyways."

Sueharu: "I still remember the ugly faces of the rich people who reveled in the death of others."

Sueharu: "I knew then, from the bottom of my heart."

Sueharu: "The true terrible darkness is within us, humans."

Yoshino: "Sueharu-san...."

Unable to find words to say, I bit my lip and fall silent for a while.

Sueharu: "Don't look like that, Yoshino."

Sueharu: "Look. I survived the cockfighting---except I had to sacrifice my eye."

Yoshino: "How did it...?"

Sueharu: "It was because of my selfishness. I didn't want to die, even though I knew I would be living a shitty life..."

Sueharu: "So while the other children closed their eyes....I kept mine open."

Yoshino: "Open?"

Sueharu: "To examine how the prisoners fought, what weapons they use, their movements...."

Sueharu: "It was the only thing a helpless kid could do, at that time."

(Even adults cannot think calmly in that situation)

(How scary it must have been and yet, the young Sueharu-san was...)

Sueharu: "Then, when my turn came to fight the chickens...."

----FLASHBACK----

Kidnapper: "Hey kid! It's time to go. Right....let's get that cheeky brat to die first."

Sueharu: "....!"

The kidnapper forces Sueharu to stand on his feet and take the stage.

Kidnapper: "I'll let you have whatever you want, just in case. You can resist at your own leisure and entertain our customers."

Sueharu gripped the rusty little sword that was pressed against his chest tightly in his trembling hands.

Prisoner: "Hehehe....Come on now, I just have to kill this kid? That's easy."

Kidnapper: "Don't kill him so easily otherwise it won't be exciting."

Audience: "Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!"

The voices of the audience filled with ferocious excitement surrounded Sueharu and the prisoner.

Kidnapper: "Poor thing. There is no one here taking your side."

Sueharu: "............."

Gritting his teeth, Sueharu murmurs softly.

Sueharu: "Ever since I was born, I was alone."

Kidnapper: "Huh? Did you say something?"

Without saying anything, Sueharu slowly walked towards the centre of the stage.

His thin legs were trembling with the fear of death.

Commentator: "Betting starts now!"

One after another, the biggest sums of money Sueharu had ever seen were deposited into the box.

Sueharu: ".....Tch."

-----Part 3-----

Sueharu: ".....Tch."

Soon after, he swears.

Commentator: "Let the show begin!"

The vicious-looking prisoner brandishes his sword.

Prisoner: "Well, I'm going to kill you, you fucking brat."

Sueharu: "Ngh.."

Barely avoiding a slash, Sueharu rolled over and ran.

Prisoner: "Tsk! You little!"

Sueharu: "...I'll live no matter what!"

He pushes himself breathlessly into the prisoner's bosom and raises his small sword.

Prisoner: "Gahh!? Ngh.."

It was difficult for a skinny child to stab deep enough....

The prisoner punches Sueharu away.

Prisoner: "Die!"

Sueharu did not avoid the sword as it slashed at him again this time.

Sueharu: "AAAAAHHHHH...!!"

He screams in intense pain and one side of his vision is clouded with red.

Sueharu's small sword pierced the prisoner's chest this time without stopping.

Prisoner: "Ah!? ARGHH...!"

With a thud, the prisoner's body falls to the ground.

Sueharu: "Haa....Haa...."

Covered in blood, Sueharu was standing on his two legs unsteadily, trying not to fall.

Commentator: "Y-You..."

Sueharu: "Did you see that....you shits?"

The audience which should have been noisy, fell silent.

Sueharu's consciousness stopped there,

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

Yoshino: "The injuries sustained during the incident left Sueharu-san with one eye injury..."

Sueharu: "Well, yeah. I was treated minimally, but my left eye never saw the light again."

(....I didn't know. I didn't realise that Sueharu-san's past was this violent...)

In the twilight-tinted room, Sueharu-san's lips twisted into a shape of smile.

Sueharu: "Yoshino. Don't get me wrong. They didn't take my eyes from me."

Sueharu: "I won the bet of a lifetime. I gave up my left eye myself so that I could win."

Yoshino: "Sueharu-san..."

The intensity of the light emitted from one eye pierced my heart.

Sueharu-san playfully brushed my hair as I lost my voice.

Sueharu: "Do you want to continue?"

Yoshino: "....Please."

Sueharu: "The big merchant who enslaved me, liked me so much that he took me under his wing after I had caused a frenzy at the cockfight stadium."

Yoshino: "You mean, as his subordinate?"

Sueharu: "I was forced to do all sorts of dirty work, from spying on people to killing them."

Sueharu: "And of course, I had no right to refuse."

(From such a young age)

Yoshino: "...Did you ever thought of running away?"

Sueharu: "If I did, there still wasn't a place for me to go. I will end up dying of hunger."

Sueharu: "On the other hand, working for a big merchant means I can steal his knowledge of trade."

Sueharu: "So I decided to learn how to make money, even if I had to hang on to him."

(That takes a lot of determination...)

Yoshino: "But he was a merchant who was complicit in dangerous betting involving children, right?"

Yoshino: "It must have been tough working under him."

Sueharu: "Yeah. He wasn't a good person to begin with."

Sueharu: "I wasn't allowed to fail at work, and there were plenty of times when I was punished until morning that I couldn't sleep."

(....Mm)

Sueharu-san talked about it as if it was nothing, which made it even more painful.

Sueharu: "But I persevered nonetheless and in a few years I had grown to the point where I was known as the right-hand man of a great merchant."

(Sueharu-san's natural ability must have been so high, but it was also the fruit of his blood-soaked effort)

Sueharu: "So one day, when I turned fifteen..."

Sueharu: "I brought him down and gutted him of his business."

----Part 4----

Sueharu: "So one day, when I turned fifteen..."

Sueharu: "I brought him down and gutted him of his business."

Yoshino: "Eh...."

Sueharu: "Now that I think about it, that was long time ago."

Sueharu: "And that's how I won my second bet and won a lot of money, I'd never....won before."

The darkness hidden in Sueharu-san narrow-eyed smile sends shivers down my spine.

Yoshino: "And....after that?"

Sueharu: "With that money, I was able to expand my business in all sorts of direction."

Sueharu: "The more money I have, the better. So that I would never be trampled on by anyone ever again."

(That's why Sueharu is)

The night we met again in Kamakura.

I recall the conversation we had that time.

-----FLASHBACK-----

Yoshino: "Now Sueharu-san is going to run a trafficking business on behalf of those people?"

Sueharu: "What if I am?"

Yoshino: "....I can't allow it. No one deserves to be bought unreasonably by money."

Sueharu: "Is that so? But the reality is different."

Sueharu: "Everything in this world depends on money. If you don't want to be miserable, money is the most powerful weapon you can have."

----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

(I wonder how Sueharu-san felt when I said those words)

I am now touching the contours of Sueharu-san's heart in the darkness, which I could not understand at the time.

Sueharu: "To tell you the truth, Yoshino."

Sueharu: "As I endured my days as a slave....I often thought about Morinaga."

Yoshino: "....! Morinaga-san...!?"

Sueharu: "To keep myself from going insane in the darkest places..."

Sueharu: "I clung to the presence of Morinaga, who glowed annoyingly in my memory."

(That's how much Sueharu-san's time with Morinaga-san meant to him)

Sueharu: "That's why I hate him."

Sueharu: "Even as an adult, every time I see that intense glare, I think back to those miserable days."

Yoshino: "That's how you think...."

Sueharu: "I can't help it. Memories always haunt you. No matter how much you think you've thrown it away."

Sueharu-san changed his sitting posture and leaned to one-side.

Sueharu: "So, as soon as I'm in a new place, I get restless."

Sueharu: "I do business, sell, play etc etc ....and finally when I empty myself, I come back to this mansion."

(How can I....make Sueharu-san feel at ease?)

Questions I can't answer stick in my mind like thorns and I can't get rid of them.

Sueharu: "All I believe in is myself and money. That's not compatible with your way of life, right?"

Sueharu: "For you, who became a pharmacist to help others, and believed in love and lived your life..."

Sueharu: "You don't really know how I feel..."

Yoshino: "....Nn."

(Even so, I)

The image of Sueharu-san surrounded by orphans he had protected came to mind.

(I want to think that the face smiling under the light is also Sueharu-san's real face)

Yoshino: "Can't we just believe that, even if we're not compatible we can still be together....?"

Sueharu: "...Yoshino?"

-----Part 5-----

Sueharu: "...Yoshino?"

----I was so moved by emotions that words just fell out of my mouth.

(But)

(I don't want to trample on Sueharu-san's heart unkindly)

Yoshino: "This thought is my selfishness."

Yoshino: "So if it's uncomfortable for Sueharu-san to be approached by me, who doesn't know how you feel, then...."

Yoshino: "I'm giving up on getting to know you any further."

Sueharu: ".........."

Sueharu: "You've jumped over all the lines I've drawn so far without any difficulty. How do you do that?"

Yoshino: "What?"

(At first, I wanted to understand him because he was my enemy. That wasn't a lie, but...)

(Since when did I want to know Sueharu-san's true nature, regardless of whether he was friend or a foe?)

Sueharu: "Your unwitting tactics."

Yoshino: "Hm?"

Sueharu: "It's not fair when you suddenly try to walk away with a lonely look on your face. It makes me want to hold you back even more."

(....Are you teasing me again?)

But unexpectedly, the eyes that looked at me were serious.

Sueharu: "When I get close to you-----"

Sueharu: "Sometimes, I feel like I'm being slowly traced over by an old scar."

Sueharu: "I feel uncomfortable, but somehow I can't shake it off."

(Why?)

Sueharu-san extended his hands towards me...

Yoshino: "Ah."

He grabs my wrist and pulls me closer.

The distance between our breath and our eyes were so short that it made my heart pound.

Sueharu: "I'm confused. I don't know what to do with you now."

Sueharu: "Hey, Yoshino, you tell me."

Sueharu: "What do you want me to do?"

(I..)

I took a deep breathe and decided.

I made a wish with an unknown impulse that was rising in my heart and opened my mouth.

Yoshino: "Can I take off your eye patch?"

Sueharu: "........."

Sueharu: "Of course. If you want to."

Yoshino: "...Thank you."

I gently put my hand on Sueharu-san's eyepatch and untied it.

I was exposed to his torn scars.

Sueharu: "It's ugly, isn't it? I don't know why you want to look at it all the time."

(Don't say it like that)

The suppressed sadness overflowed in an uncontrollable gush.

I bit my lip to force it down and swallowed again.

Yoshino: "....There's nothing ugly about it."

Sueharu: "Yoshino?"

My body is hot with a jumble of frustration and sadness at my inability to communicate well.

I kissed the scar over his left eye, wishing my warmth would be transferred onto him.

Sueharu: "...Mm."

I could feel Sueharu-san's shoulders shaking just slightly.

The back of my eyes became heavy and my vision blurs.

Sueharu: "...Why?"

In a somewhat sad voice, Sueharu-san muttered.

Yoshino: "This is a proof of Sueharu-san's strength to survive."

Yoshino: "It's the most beautiful scar in the whole world. That's how I see it."

I reply with a poor answer in a voice that is almost snuffed out by emotion.

(Please, don't deny yourself of this)

Yoshino: "No one can take away Sueharu-san's pride."

Sueharu: "............"

Sueharu-san slowly cupped my cheeks in his hands.

Sueharu: "What have you done to me?"

Sueharu: "The past can never be changed. Even you, a pharmacist, can't erase these scars. And yet...."

Sueharu: "I wonder why, seeing your tears right now, feels like something is being forgiven?"

Chapter 20

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #cybird #ikemen mc #ikegen #main story translations #ikemen genjiden sueharu

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