#another angry history rant by me

[amphibious-thing]

Homosexuality was both silenced and taboo. Most historians agree that the concept of homosexuality is modern because the idea of sexual identity was not fully established until the nineteenth century. Jo Stanley has suggested that many women who fell in love with women could not identify or understand their feelings. Historians of transvestism Ruldolf Dekker and Lotte van de Pol have argued that 'it is logical that these women would think: if I covet a woman, I must be a man'. Lesbians may have thought that cross-dressing and acting like men allowed them to love women during a time in which Europeans could not conceive of the idea of lesbianism.

Rebecca Alexandra Simon, Pirate Queens: The Lives of Anne Bonny & Mary Read, p81-82

This is the sort of absolute bullshit I’m talking about when I talk about the myth that sexual orientation and sexual identity didn’t exist until the nineteenth century. To be clear when I talk about this I’m not trying to downplay the pathologization of homosexuality that happened throughout the nineteenth and twentieth centuries and the effects that had on queer people. I’m simply talking about this myth that pre-nineteenth century people had no understanding of their own sexual desires and no sexual identity.

First of all it is just blatantly untrue to suggest that 18th century Europeans “could not conceive of the idea of lesbianism”.

I often see the fact that sex between women was legal in England used as evidence that 18th century Europeans didn’t know that sex between women was possible. But people seem to be forgetting that England is not the entirety of Europe.

There are cases of women being executed for having sex with women across Europe, they would be drowned or even burned alive. (see Louis Crompton, The Myth of Lesbian Impunity Capital Laws from 1270 to 1791)

Often the wording of sodomy laws were vague but could be interpreted as covering sex between women. Often supplementary documents would clarify for example a 1780’s French legal book defines sodomy as:

the crime of any man with a man, of any woman with a woman; even of a man with a woman, when, by unimaginable debauchery, they do not use the ordinary path of procreation.

(Michael David Sibalis, The Regulation of Male Homosexuality in Revolutionary and Napoleonic France, 1789-1815, p81)

However some laws explicitly criminalised sex between women. For example the Constitutions of the Holy Roman Emporer Charles V, 1532, states:

if anyone commits impurity with a beast, or a man with a man, or a woman with a woman, they have forfeited their lives and shall, after the common custom, be sentenced to death by burning.

And the 1574 statutes of the Italian town Treviso were very clear:

If any person (leaving the natural use) has sexual relations with another, that is, a man with a man if they are fourteen years old or more, or a woman with a woman if they are twelve or more, by committing the vice of sodomy-popularly known as “buzerones” or “fregatores”-and this has been revealed to the city magistrates, the detected person, if a male, must be stripped of all his clothes and fastened to a stake in the Street of the Locusts with a nail or rivet driven through his male member, and shall remain there all day and all night under a reliable guard, and the following day be burned outside the city. If, however, a woman commits this vice or sin against nature, she shall [also] be fastened naked to a stake in the Street of the Locusts and shall remain there all day and night under a reliable guard, and the following day shall be burned outside the city.

(Crompton, p18)

But even if we are just talking about England there are references to lesbianism in 18th century England. In fact the earliest known usage of the word lesbian (in the sense of a woman who is sexually or romantically attracted to other women) is from The Toast by William King published in 1732:

this little Woman gave Myra more Pleasure than all the rest of her Lovers and Mistresses. She was therefore dignified with the Title of Chief of the Tribades or Lesbians.

Hester Thrale Piozzi described the Ladies of Llangollen as “damned Sapphists” (Emma Donoghue, Passions Between Women, p168) and suspected Anne Damer of “liking her own Sex in a criminal Way”. (Diary of Hester Thrale Piozzi, 17 June 1790) Damer was also satirised as a lesbian in the 1778 poem A Sapphick Epistle and the 1794 pamphlet The Whig Club.

There were many references to the ancient Greek poet Sappho who was often credited with inventing the concept of sex between women. A Sapphick Epistle describes Sappho as “the first Tommy the world has upon record; but to do her justice, though there hath been many Tommies since, yet we never had but one Sappho.”

“Tommy” being another word for a women who were sexually interested in women. We see this word used in the 1773 poem The Adulteress:

Women and Men, in these unnat’ral Times,

Are guilty equal of unnat’ral crimes:

Woman with Woman act the Manly Part,

And kiss and press each other to the heart.

Unnat’ral Crimes like these my Satire vex;

I know a thousand Tommies ‘mongst the Sex:

Sappho was also invoked in the 1749 pamphlet Satan’s Harvest Home:

Sappho, as she was one of the wittiest Women that ever the World bred, so she though with Reason, it would be expected she should make some Additions to a Science in which Womankind had been so successful: What dose she do then? Not content with our Sex, begins Amours with her own, and teaches the Female World a new Sort of Sin, call’d the Flats, that was follow’d not only in Lucian’s Time, but is practis’d frequently in Turkey, as well as at Twickenham at this day.

“Flats” refers to the “game of flats” or “game at flats” which was an 18th century euphemism for tribadism and is referenced again in Satan’s Harvest Home:

I am credibly informed, in order to render the Scheme of Iniquity still more extensive amongst us, a new and most abominable Vice has got footing among the W—n of Q—–y, by some call’d the Game at Flats;

So while its true that sex between women wasn’t illegal in England this wasn’t because the entire country was ignorant to the possibility.

The myth that there was no sense of identity associated with sexual attraction is easily disproven by the molly subculture. In 18th century London there was a community of men who had sex with men, who identified as mollies. Mollies would meet in molly houses, they had their own traditions, slang, songs and even had sobriquets known as maiden names that identified them as part of the group. (see Mother Clap's Molly House by Rictor Norton)

There is also evidence of 18th century men understanding their attraction to other men as something innate and natural to them. For example Gerrit van Amerongen stated at his 1776 sodomy trial that men who had sex with men were “born with it and they can be as amorous to each other as man and wife can be.” (Anna Clark, The Chevalier d’Eon, Rousseau, and New Ideas of Gender, Sex and the Self in the Late Eighteenth Century)

Lillian Faderman suggests that women were less likely to recognise their sexual attraction to each other because they would have “internalized the view of females as having little sexual passion” and as they bore “no burden of visible proof as men do, they might deny it even to themselves”. (Surpassing the Love of Men, p16) However Chris White rather succinctly dismisses Faderman’s argument: “it seems hardly credible that simply because women did not have penile erections they would not have recognized how sexual arousal felt and what it meant”. (Emma Donoghue, Passions Between Women, p122)

Taking all of this into consideration it seems somewhat absurd to claim that “women who fell in love with women could not identify or understand their feelings”.

And this is not even getting into the “if I covet a woman, I must be a man” statement which is a whole other can of worms to unpack.

#queer history #another angry rant about 18th century sexuality for y’all cause this book annoyed me

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

it makes me sad understanding myself that I attach myself to characters who are vulnerable, traumatised or on the edge of society. I feel too deeply and when they are hurt in some way, I feel it at the very core of my being. on top of seeing such injustices, I find myself impassioned to the point of rage and tears to see them be kicked around like this. it's not fucking fair. I actually told my therapist that I realised then it felt like the characters in the Northern Lights series who have daemons, and that you should never cut the bond between them because it would cause serious trauma and death. in a strange way, it makes a whole lot of sense of my life. I see the injustices and I see my trauma and I want to fucking scream and stop it from happening. it makes me violently ill to see this happen.

#it breaks my heart but this explains so much #the thing that's stayed with me since i was a child #was my attachment and open and full on expression with my emotions #vent #rant #trauma #mental illness #scanners is just another one of those #seeing characters made out of sheer experimentation and interest #abandoned institutionalised used abused and pushed aside #and forced to fight each other #makes me bawl my eyes out to just see #one reason i find if so difficult to engage easily with fiction and media #because i feel that deeply and i am not prepared to deal with what is basically trauma to me #i'm so angry at how aware of theae injustices i am #and continue to be throughout history no matter what #abuse tw #it tears me up inside to see this shit and feel so fucking helpless #it makes me feel like i don't care when it absolutely fucking does #to see people i love and care about believe anything and fall away #makes me feel like i just want to die tbh #everyday life in society is literal agony #why. why do we carry on and just pretend it's all normal and believe this garbage??? #like i remember hearing billy butcher on the boys say #'where's your fucking RAGE???' #and with scanners on top to know your own father did that and you basically have no family or friends #there's literally no surprise things turned out for those two brothers #who ended up having to fight each other #trauma expressing itself in different ways...i find both of these characters extremely fascinating to look at in that way #personal

[dutchdread]

A small rant

I've noticed that a lot of places that discuss the LTD are less focussed on analyzing and explaining final fantasy VII, and more focussed on throwing insults at either the characters, or the people who support them. I think I've done a fairly good job at making sure this place stays relatively matter-of-fact, and despite believing that "Cloti" is the only interpretation of the story that makes sense I am usually pretty positive about Aerith as a person, and more importantly, as a character. My stance tends to be that the only version of Aerith I think is fundamentally unlikable is the one presented by Cleriths. So permit me to slightly backtrack on that as I ask:

Am I the only one getting sick of Aeriths character?

And I don't mean "the only Cloti supporter who is sick of Aerith", I mean isn't the general fanbase of the game getting sick of her?

I ask this because I was watching the new Rebirth trailer, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes during the scenes where Aerith sings, or where it tries to survival-bait the viewer. In FFVII Aeriths death plays only a small part in the grand scheme of things. It neither prevents nor causes holy, holy was summoned before she died and is actually held back by the will of Sephiroth, which is the bulk of the external plot. And it doesn't cause Clouds mental break, which was an inevitable outcome of his history with Tifa, Sephiroth, and Nibleheim.

So why does the trailer make it feel like Final Fantasy VII is the story of Aeriths potential death? I thought the point of Aeriths death was that it comes suddenly and unexpectedly, without a large fan-fare, leaving nothing but a hole in its wake. I thought the point was to show a death that wasn't like "in hollywood". So why does her death now get it's own musical accompaniment and stage play?

Aerith was once a normal girl with a big destiny, one that she was as unsure of as any of us, she was just a person, just like us, with maybe a hint of something more. She got angry, she could be petty, she could be clueless. In another words, she was human.

But what is she now?

Aerith is now Jesus and Mary all in one. Fans got so upset at her death that Square-enix felt the need to include her in everything and every time Aerith became a bit less human, and a bit more idolized, until in remake she became a walking, talking, deus ex machina. In advent children she was presented as almost angelic, giving guidance to lost souls both good and bad and healing the children. But it was still ok because most of it was centered around Clouds psyche. The problem isn't with Aeriths death having importance to Cloud. The problem is square-enix trying to milk Aeriths death for all it's worth, making it into a soulless spectacle.

Aeriths death is now the horror monster that loses its terror once you see it. It's everywhere and everything has to revolve around it and because of it it's no longer a good story, but cheap emotional manipulation.

Within the remake Aerith is no longer the playful and innocent GIRL she once was. She's Gandalf the white, come back from the dead to pass down quests and wisdom from up on high. Step aside Cloud, this is Aeriths story, all you other side-characters are only here for back-up. Aerith is now a self-insert fan-fiction character. She has no flaws, everyone loves her, her death is more important than those of other people, the universe, time, and destiny will all bend to make sure the Mary-godessue doesn't die. Because everything has to revolve around her you know? So yeah, of course Aerith can sing! Who cares that there was never before any indication of this. Sure, Tifa will probably get to play the piano, but here is the thing….Tifa being able to play the piano has actually always been a part of the game! Since when is Aerith suddenly a broadway performer? Probably since the same time that she became a picasso at random wall art.

Years of fan obsession have deified away everything that once made Aerith interesting. The grand story of Final Fantasy VII, the quest to save the planet, and the internal heroes journey about accepting the past and the true self. Clouds backstory and struggles, it's all overshadowed by the once irrelevant plotpoint of "will Aerith die?".

Like with Sephiroth, fan obsession has caused square-enix to destroy all sense of mystery, magic, and restraint in order to "give fans what they want", even if it ruins the product.

While I think the cheap spectacle of hyper focussing the marketing and potentially early game around Aeriths death have already essentially poisoned the remake, making it into a mere shadow of what it could have been, I still believe that Square-enix has enough integrity left to actually kill her and move focus back on what actually matters. But I have to say, at this point it's not even just because I want the story of FFVII to be protected and experienced as it should be. But also because I am just getting sick and tired of what Aerith has become, and would now consider Sephiroth stabbing her as a mercy killing for what's left of her character.

#ffviii #ffvii remake #aerith gainsborough #rant #square enix

[shelbgrey]

Stuck in the middle: what it's like being close to Derek and Addison during their devorce.

Summary: headcanons on what life is like when two of most important people are at war and holidays become questionable.

Paring: Platonic!reader X Derek shepherd, Patonic!Reader X Addison Montgomery, Mark Sloan x reader

Request: @luvlesavyy Where the reader is a woman of about 21 years old, and enters the residency program along with the others, however, she is almost like a sister to Derek (they were raised together and even because of the age difference, they love each other too much) addisson is like a mother to her and she gets really bad with everything that happens between them. Maybe you could write headcanons of what her holidays would be like with them, the whole family together, and Mark would have a crush on her.

A/n: hope you like it, thanks for the request

Greys MasterList

~you've known Derek since you were kids. Even though he's got a few years on you the two of you have been glued to the hip ever since you met.

~you of course met Addison through Derek and she seemed to take a immediate liking to you. You didn't really have a good home life so Addison didn't hesitate to take you under her wing.

~with the three of you being so close and them helping you through medical school you were certainly crushed when you heard Addie cheated on Derek.

~the night that it happened Derek had came to your apartment. He was emotional mess and not only was he distraught he was angry... And so were you, you would never in a million years think Addison would cheat.

~what hurt more was the fact that she cheated on him with Mark, another close friend.

~you always liked Mark. Yes he's was older but he always treated you like a queen dispite you being strictly friends. Derek always made sure of that.

~“I just need to get out of this damn city”

~“what if you came to Seattle with me? I'm starting the residency program there”

~so that's exactly what you did. He got his trailer out in the woods and you got an apartment about ten minutes away.

~like mentioned before you two are glued to the hip, but there was no way you were gonna live in that cramped trailer with him, no matter how much you loved him.

Your relationship with Derek:

To the unknown people might think you'd two would be a couple... That's far from the truth.

Derek is your Soulmate. He's more than best friend but less than a lover. You've always had each other's backs and he loves you to death.

Derek has always protected you, him and Addie both but Derek seemed to always take it to another level.

You met him through Amilea. It may sound stereotypical but you were getting picked on at a public park near the neighborhood you grew up in. Amilea saw it and got Derek, she was to young to handle it her self so she got Derek. He chased the little punks off and the rest is history.

As Kids you practically lived at the Shepherd's home. Mrs. Shepherd loved you like her own and never made you feel like you did belong.

You had decent relationships with his sisters I guess. Nacy and Kathleen made it clear they didn't care for you too much but Liz and Amilea cared for like crazy, but not as much as Derek did.

Derek is one that inspired you to become a doctor. You would always be fascinated by all his medical books and when he graduated medical school is when you decided to go yourself.

Him and Addison got you threw it all and never gave up on you.

It's the little things that made your bond strong, rather it be listing to your rants about your favorite topics, taking you to concerts even he doesn't like the music, dressing up on Halloween with you, or even taking you to watch every Harry Potter movie when they'd be in theaters.

He got you threw your first heartbreak and he's never confirmed or denied the facted he slashed your Ex's tires after finding out he cheated.

If you want a movie night, done he'll get the popcorn, you want to bast Elvis Presley he'll find all the speakers and dance with you. You had a nightmare, he'll sleep on the floor next your bed in till your not scared anymore.

You may not share the same blood but your his sister no matter what.

Your relationship with Addison:

Addison loves you like a daughter or little sister, there's no doubt about that.

She use to stay that day she met you she automatically new you'd be close.

She thought you most things girls learn from their mother, but since yours past away Addie made sure to take care of you.

She'd do your hair, help you pick out close, taught you how to use make up and was there when you got your first Period.

You wanted to be just like her and she was your biggest inspiration growing up.

She helped you get threw your insecurities and always made sure that you knew how beautiful you are.

She hates it when you talk down on yourself and she wishes you saw what she was and that was pure beauty.

If you say anything decorating about yourself she'll give you a little love tap on the head or shoulder.

You were her maid of honor at hers and Derek's wedding.

Addison was the only one who knew about Mark's feelings for you and she kept it a secret for him. She also told him to stay away from you.

When she slept with Mark she felt that she not only betrayed Derek but she also Betrayed you.

She couldn't bring herself to tell you. She didn't want to lose you.

What it's like being around them now:

You didn't know Addison was coming to Seattle. Everything seemed to be great Derek found a girl that really made him happy and you met this guy Alex.

When you saw her you immediately hugged her. Dispite what she did you really did miss her.

“I missed you Addie, but what are you doing here?”

“I'm here to get Derek back, what I did was unforgettable but I gotta try”

Uh oh...

When they do get back together you could immediately tell it wad a mistake.

It's like when a small child can tell mom and dad don't love each other anymore. You can just tell.

Both of them unintentionally stick you in the middle and use you to get back at each other.

“well tell him I can't do that and that he's an idiot”

“tell her that's not what the patient needs”

It drives you crazy but most of all it hurts.

You could tell Derek's hurting so you don't say anything. You love them both and definitely don't want to choose sides.

What holidays are like with them:

The first Christmas they had back together would have been depressing without you. Derek didn't feel like celebrating anything and Addison would ignore it.

But on the bright side you got a small Christmas tree to put in Derek's trailer and tried to cheer him up. With or without Addison you were gonna give Derek a good Christmas. He deserved it.

With Addison you'd look through magazines and pick out gifts for Mrs. Shepherd and Derek's sister.

Addison will make sure to get you expensive gifts. Some of which she over thought about. As bad as it sounds she unknowingly wanted to out do Derek.

Derek knows you like the back of his hand so he'd get you anything that you loved rather it be something from your favorite show or even one of a kind collectable.

The presents didn't matter you just wanted to have a peaceful Christmas with the both of them... Like how they used to be.

On Christmas eve you decorated the trailer and they came home to a Christmas tree and your puppy eyes begging for a Christmas.

It turned out to be an amazing night. Christmas movies and laughter. Like how it used to be..

If it's Halloween you and Derek will have a horror movie marathon. You two will be laughing at the gore and Addison will be covering her face in fear or disgust.

Thanksgiving is about like Christmas. You'd put something amazing together and you'll have one night of peace.

Mark having a crush on you:

This was just trouble from the start.

If we're being honest Mark loved you since they day you met, but the problem was he was too afraid to admit and derek would have never let it happen.

Mark loves everything about you. He loves how goofy and kind you are. He feel in love with how your eyes sparkl when you talk about something you love and he especially loves your bubbly personality.

Derek could tell. He saw the way he looked at you and it angered him and scared him. He didn't want Mark hurting you.

He thought he loved Addison but in reality he just wanted to prove to himself he could be happy without you. That wasn't true and not only did he hurt his best friend, he hurt you too.

When He came to Seattle he not only wanted to get Derek back, he wanted to get you back to.

Derek didn't trust him and he wanted to make sure Mark stayed far away from you.

At times it was annoying but you understood where Derek was coming from.

The day mark came to visit Seattle-Grace he got a punch in the face by Derek and you had to patch him up.

As you were giving him stitches his steal-blue eyes never left you. He could feel his heart pounding because of how close he was to you.

“I really did miss you N/n”

You didn't know what to feel. You loved his charm and you will admit you missed him. You missed his laugh, smile, even missed the smell of his colone.

You didn't want to get hurt so you pushed him away, but Mark wasn't gonna give up too easily.

He didn't tell Derek how he felt about you because he knew Derek wouldn't stand by it.

Addison on the other hand told him if he hurt you she'd cut his balls off. She just wants you to be happy but if your hurt all hell will break loose.

“”

You kept your relationship a secret for awhile. You told Callie because of how close you were but Derek was in the dark about it.

You hated lying to him but you knew he would never except it. But really he'd just be happy that your happy, that's all he ever wanted for you.

But mark told him to at the wrong time. Derek lost a patient and Mark was determined to tell him.

They got in a fight and you and Meredith had to pull them apart. You felt like you were being towrn apart. You didn't know which side to take.

The night if happened you want to check on Derek after patching Mark up.

“I love him”

“I just don't want you to get hurt”

You and Meredith got them to work things out and everything seemed to fall into place.

Extra headcanons:

You and Meredith become the best of friends through the two men.

Even though your bit, if not the same age as Meredith you two take care of each other.

Double dates all the time.

Mark is an amazing boyfriend and treats you like the queen you are.

Derek is still over protective but he's getting used to toning it down a bit. It's marks turn to take care of you.

You Became a Peds surgeon and the people who practically raised you couldn't be more proud.

When you become an attending you might or might not have a favorite intern.

Your basically to Levi Schmitt what Derek was to you. You take Levi under your wing and you two become close.

You and Mark end up having twins and Derek is their God-father.

Even though things started off Rocky they couldn't have ended better.

That's all for now,buddies

#Derek shepherd x reader #Derek shepherd imagines #Derek shepherd headcanons #Derek shepherd #Addison Montgomery #Addison Montgomery imagines #Addison Montgomery X reader #Mark Sloan x reader #Mark Sloan imagines #Mark Sloan #Greys anatomy #Greys anatomy x reader #greys anatomy headcanons #Headcanons #Greys anatomy imagines #grey sloan memorial hospital

[joesalw]

Ive already said this to a few people now but the way Taylor exposed Joe's mental health struggles and acted like they were somehow affecting her more than they were him makes You're Losing Me retroactively one of the most hypocritical things I've ever heard.

She really had the nerve to write "How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?" as if Joe wasn't the one "dying" in that relationship! And then she writes, "My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick" when she was the one who didn't seem to care or think Joe suffering from depression was a big deal. SHE was the one who wouldn't admit that they were sick!!

"I know my pain is such an imposition" says the woman who was pissed off that her boyfriend didn't want to propose to her because he wasn't ready for marriage when his mental health wasn't in a good place. Seems like she was the one treating HIS pain like an imposition, not the other way around.

The nail in the coffin for me is "I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy". I'm sorry, but what empathy? She clearly had none for any of what Joe is/was going through.

Sorry for the rant but I actually used to love that song and now it just makes me angry whenever I hear it. How can she not see what a hypocrite those lyrics make her look like??

Good for me, I saw her true colors before that already. So ylm wasn’t so surprising for me, it was just another try of her taking a dig at Joe. The history of it goes back to renegade where she sings "is it insensitive for me to say get your shit together so i can love you"//"is it only your anxieties that stops you from giving me everything or do you just not want to?" like she has always been so insensitive about joe's mental health issues and she talks about being empathetic lol

#anti taylor swift #joe alwyn

[sarucane]

Why did Ed headbutt Stede?

This one is fairly straightforward in the show but also fun to rant about so here goes!

I think the short version of this answer is "because Ed had no other way to communicate FUCK OFF at that moment." Ed can't talk, doesn't seem able to move, and is very unclear on exactly what's going on and what he's doing (even a while later he has a deeply revealing conversation with a confused rabbit--he's definitely not all there in this moment). Still, Stede's wrong when he suggests it was an accident: Ed owns the action later when he yells "I'm glad it hurt, that's the point of head butts!"

That being said, it's worth taking in the context for a sec, because Ed does love Stede and there is a theoretical potential for this to go to a very dark place. Balancing the violence of the pirate world with portraying healthy relationships is quite a challenge for these writers, as it'd be easy to tip over from healthy to very unhealthy.

In the same episode, Mary gets stabbed in the back quite deeply (it's knocking on bones) and it barely bleeds, let alone hurts once it's out. Ed and Stede have both been run through with swords but since "the important bits" didn't get hit, they needed no recovery time. Hell, Ed got shot in the arm and hit in the face with a cannonball in S2E2 and he's fine by halfway through E3. A headbutt is nothing on this show, it's like a kid elbowing another kid on the bus.

Ed head butts Stede because he's angry and in emotional pain, he's a pirate and pirates (not to mention many humans) express emotions through violence, and Ed can't break a chair or smash something--so the headbutt is the only available option.

And in terms of walking that line between health and unhealthy/violent relationship: the headbutt not only does not take place while Ed and Stede are in a relationship, it is itself a way of Ed saying "WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP 'CAUSE YOU DUMPED ME FUCK OFF." When Ed is in possession of his faculties, he is still using violence to externalize emotions, but Stede is emphatically not a target of that violence.

Ed doesn't even look at Stede from the moment the anger starts rising, and he turns his back on Stede and moves to another part of the room entirely to smash shit. Not the most mature response, but consistent with Ed's character and history while also pointedly sidestepping that dangerous territory.

And Ed's anger fueling the headbutt is completely justified.

Stede and Ed are often in different emotional places within their relationship, but they're rarely as far apart as at the beginning of episode 3. Stede is acting (in fairness understandably given the near death thing) absolutely no differently than he would if they were, at that moment, in a romantic relationship (which fits with his whole "I didn't dump him, we're on a break" schtick). But Stede quite brutally broke Ed's heart, triggering a crisis that led to Ed being so convinced he's "not loveable" that he despaired of living at all.

Stede says "I thought I lost you," and the only appropriate response to that is "YOU DID," and that needs to be made clear to Stede, because there's a difference between "being on different pages in a relationship" and "being on different pages about a relationship existing." Ed is hurt, badly, and Stede's total lack of acknowledgement of that is absolutely infuriating. Like Ed says, hurt is the point of head butts: Ed was hurting and Stede wasn't, and that distance in experiences demanded a response, so Ed seized on the only one available to him.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #ed teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #ok so looking for gifs with “chair” as a key word brings up so much weird sex stuff y'all be freaks god bless #i'm bad at gifs the first one was the only one i could find

[verily-veve]

@hprecfest I wanted to do this and made my first rec list :)

1. A favorite fic under 5k: Still Life (Drarry, E, 3k)

No summary given.

2. A comfort fic : Orange Blossoms @danpuff-ao3 (Snarry, T, 4k)

These are foolish times to have hope, and more foolish still to be in love. 

3. A podfic : Deadheading the Odd Dahlia @cailynwrites (Drarry, T, 1.5 hours)

Harry is content to spend his days at Draco’s flower stall at the farmers market, burying his true feelings in artisanal coffee and rose bouquets. When forced to find new lodgings, he accepts Draco’s offer to live in a cottage at Malfoy Manor, and his long-hidden crush blossoms out of control. Turns out, proximity makes the heart grow fonder.

4. A fic with art: The Curse of Anteros @danpuff-ao3 @mrviran (Snarry, E, 53k)

When Harry is cursed, he seeks out Severus Snape. They have a long history behind them, after all, and they've always had so much between them. Who else would he go to?

5. A non-AO3 fic : If You Are Prepared (Snarry, E, 193k)

A task he can't refuse. A boy he doesn't want to refuse.

6. An unreliable narrator fic : Heartbeat by @phantomato (Tomarrymort, Harry/Orion, E, 23k)

Harry, dumped into the past, communes with dangerous men.

7. A canon-compliant fic : Rapture by @mia-ugly (Snarry, E, 48k)

Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.

8. A canon-divergence fic : Certain Dark Things by @liladiurne (Snarry, E, 50k)

In which Severus takes a trip to Italy, thinking he'll have a quiet time at the Malfoys' villa, but Harry has other plans.

9. A rare pair fic (less than 2000 fics on AO3) : The Sword of Gryffindor (Sneville, E, 58k)

“Do you feel strong hitting me?” Neville spits out. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this angry before, but there’s something else too. He wants to feel it again, the pain, wants to control it like he did last time. This isn’t like Amycus Carrow driving his wand into his shoulder blades while whispering about his parents, this isn’t sitting scared in a school bench while his sister rants about muggles with a crazy glint in her eye. A choice. He’s in control here, he can take it. “Do it again you fucking coward.”

10. A fest fic : Not All That Glisters by @sweet-s0rr0w (Drarry, E, 110k)

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot. But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks. Stop taking the Felix? You must be joking…

11. A dark fic : Frigid by @mrviran (Harrymort, E, 3k)

In which one of Voldemort's Horcruxes is broken, and needs to be fixed.

12. A WIP you’re following : Pacify by @chickenpets (Snarry, E, ongoing)

Pacify: 1. To allay the anger or agitation of 2. To reduce to a submissive state He would do his duty. He would save Draco, if he could. He would protect the students, if and when the school fell to the Deatheaters. And Potter. As far as he was concerned, Potter could have whatever he wanted, now. What was the point of trying to tell him no if he was going to be sacrificed on the pyre of the greater good? If Potter wanted to learn, Severus would be his teacher. If he wanted a master, then Severus would make him submit. And if he wanted a lover... well. Severus would love him. And that was it. Anything else was a waste of time. And there was so little of that.

13. A fic with over 100k words : Another Mask Behind You (Drarry, E, 116k)

Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies. (And then more porn. Seriously, if you don’t want sex scene after sex scene you probably shouldn’t read this. And please read the warnings.)

14. A favorite series : Love Your Enemy by @danpuff-ao3 (Snarry, E, 50k)

Love...hate...Harry and Severus definitely hate each other (if only because they love each other so much.)

15. The most recent fic you bookmarked : Everything We Dream Can be Real by @vdoshu (Tomarry, E, 51k)

Harry had a life after Voldemort. He had a family. He had a career. And then one day it was all ripped away when he woke up at Number 4 Privet Drive. Or: Where Harry doesn’t exactly get that chance to do it over again. And things are Not Okay.

16. A fic that made you laughed: Harry Potter and the Problem with Potions (Harry & Snape, T, 184k)

Once upon a time, Harry Potter hid for two hours from Dudley in a chemistry classroom, while a nice graduate student explained about the scientific method and interesting facts about acids. A pebble thrown into the water causes ripples. Contains, in no particular order: magic candymaking, Harry falling in love with a house, evil kitten Draco Malfoy, and Hermione attempting to apply logic to the wizarding world.

17. A fic that made you cry: Epitaphs in Autographs by @vukovich (Drarry, E, 7k)

A series of works surrounding death, imperfect relationships, flawed coping, and humanity.

18. A fairy-tale inspired fic : Two Lockets (Snarry, E, 57k)

Harry, Snape, and the grim old house that keeps its secrets.

19. Fic with the hottest smut: Ruin by @chickenpets (Snarry, E, 12k)

Severus didn’t even want to contemplate how quickly he’d crumbled, or how incredibly satisfying it felt to have Potter immobilized and powerless that way. Because the boy he had under his fist right then was not the same one that had barged into his lab demanding attention and slinging insults. This boy was… different. He was silent, and wide-eyed. Flushed, and panting, and very, very still. It was almost like alchemy. The Golden Brat of Hogwarts - the Chosen One - transformed instantly into this new apparition. He’d gotten what he wanted, Severus supposed. Brutality.

20. A fic rated G: The Son by @perverse-idyll (Regulus, G, 5k)

First there were two sons. Then there was one.

21. A thought-provoking fic : The Things We Need by @kbrick (Drarry, E, 25k)

Three hundred and fifty-three days out of the year, Harry is in a monogamous, fufilling relationship with Draco Malfoy. Then there are the other twelve days.

22. An unfinished fic (hasn’t updated in 10 years or author stated it been abandoned) : The Marriage Stone (Snarry, E, 382k)

To avoid the machinations of the Ministry, Harry must marry a reluctant Severus Snape. But marriage to Snape is only the beginning of Harry's problems. Voldemort has returned, and before too long Harry's marriage may determine the world's fate.

23. A soulmate fic : The Left Words (Harrymort, M, 234k)

Harry has some weird words on his left wrist. That must be one of those strange things that Aunt Petunia hates so much. But it's okay! He likes them. Then, it all turns even weirder. Hogwarts, magic, a Headmaster and a Dark Lord await Harry - he would prefer if they all just left him alone, thank you very much. But when has it ever mattered what Harry wants?

24. A holiday fic: All I Want for Christmas (is for You to Stop Talking) by @femmequixotic and noeon (Drarry, E, 162k)

The Niffler's Garden is the most prestigious wizarding nursery school in England and has been for the last century or more. Harry Potter's boys are both enrolled as pupils at the Garden. When he volunteers to assist with the Yule pageant, he has no idea that he'll be working closely with another parent, Draco Malfoy. Although they haven't seen each other much since their own school days, Harry faults Malfoy for not being a hands-on dad to little Scorpius. Will the intense weeks of preparation fan the fires of enmity or something else entirely?

25. A fic rated T: Altered Course by @crowcrowcrowthing (Tomarry, T, 12k)

Tom Riddle has a problem. He has so many plans, so many things to learn and accomplish during his time at Hogwarts, but one professor—one charming, talented, maddeningly handsome professor—is determined to get in his way. How does Professor Potter seem to anticipate Tom's every move? How does he always manage to stay several steps ahead, knowing secrets about Tom he has no right knowing? It’s simply unacceptable, and Tom needs to do something about it before everything is ruined.

26. A fic with an ending you can’t stop thinking about : Nocturne by @necromanticnoir (Snarry, E, 54k)

A Gothic Snarry version of ‘Beauty and the Beast’, inspired by the dark and sensual tale from the Czech film version, ‘Panna a Netvor’. I follow some of the plot, but then diverge and do my own thing. Got to make it even weirder, right? An eerie, erotic, brooding, bloody, batty, haunting fairytale. ‘Underneath my skin there’s a human. Buried deep within there’s a human. Despite everything, I’m still human.’ - ‘Human’ by Daughter

27. A Muggle-AU fic : with great outbursts and lightnings by @liladiurne (Snarry, E, 148k)

They stand there for a moment, just looking at each other. Harry has developed smoking to an art form that fascinates Severus. Everyone smokes in Paris, but he’s never taken up the habit himself. Watching Harry smoke, however, is strangely erotic. It feels like watching something that ought to be done in private. He wants to say something, anything, but he’s speechless. He’s a bloody poet, and here he is, standing speechless in front of a nineteen-year-old boy. March, 2013. In which Severus is a semi-famous poet with writer's block who moves back to London after the death of his lover and meets Harry, a prodigy struggling with his own demons.

28. An under-rated fic : An Eye for an Eye (Drapery, E, 42k)

Harry owes Draco a Life Debt.

29. A post-canon fic : Soup-pocalypse and the Great Curry Cataclysm (Drarry, E, 104k)

Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

30. A pre-canon fic : He's just a Little Fixer-Upper (Snilch, E, 10k)

After Voldemort's first defeat, Snape's grief and guilt are overwhelming, and he starts thinking about ending it all. But there's someone in the castle who's been watching Snape since he was a child, someone determined to put him back together again.

31. A fav amongst favs: for this I have 1 for my 3 favorite ships :)

Wild (Drarry, E, 92k)

“No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.” “I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

When the Rose and the Fire Are One by @perverse-idyll (Snarry, E, 81k)

Harry's haunted by guilt. Snape's warded by roses. Each must free the other in order to free himself.

Either must die at the hand of the other by @metalomagnetic (Harrymort, E, 260k)

Voldemort survives the Battle of Hogwarts because Harry Potter had not been the one to kill him, as the prophecy demands.

#hprecfest2023 #snarry fics #drarry fics #tomarrymort fics #rare pair fics

[bfpnola]

Hey. It's @reaux07. If you remember my last angry history rant on Paul Robeson, I'm back for Part 2. This time? King Leopold II and his relationship to the Congo. I just finished writing a 5-page, single-spaced essay on this for class, so I'll do my best to summarize in bullet points this time rather than chunky paragraphs. This will still be long though, as a warning, but it's a necessary read. Please let me get through this, because y'all know this hurts to write.

Trigger warnings for... just about everything typically associated with mass colonization (e.g. rape, murder, torture, etc.). Tiktok below as a brief introduction first:

King Leopold II of Belgium, due to his personal unpopularity and lack of love from his parents, had low self-esteem. As his father had already made 50 attempts to colonize foreign lands to no avail, Leopold felt the only way to uplift both himself and his country was to take take control of his own colony.

He checked Sarawak, the New Hebrides, the Fiji Islands, and the Philippines. Nothing. But what was left? The Congo.

How did he learn of the Congo? Leopold hired Henry Morton Stanley, a famous Welsh explorer of the time, to cross Africa from east to west, walking and canoeing 7,000 miles.

Upon the Congo's discovery, Leopold turned his palace into a luxury hotel for the delegates of a new conference to discuss Africa's colonization, supervising every detail. He successfully lied to the major powers of Europe, making claims of charitable and philanthropic aims, and that there would be free trade amongst the African colonies. (And yes, he did give every single attendee a painting of his face... Because he could.)

Meanwhile, back in the Congo, Stanley (the explorer I just mentioned) used bribes and trickery to provide official treaties with the various chiefs of the land in case Leopold ever needed legal proof of land ownership. (Ex of said trickery: One report noted that a village assumed "the white man controlled the sun.")

In 1891 and 1892, Leopold released decrees stating that both vacant land and produce of the forests exclusively belonged to Belgium and that natives could only harvest for the state.

Enforcing Leopold’s rule were 16,000 Africans equipped with modern Belgian-made automatic rifles.

Outing Attempt #1: One African American man, George Washington Williams, during his trip compiled a report to be sent to the American secretary of state. In this letter, Williams remembers bets being taken on who could shoot the native people in the head first, among other instances of vile treatment. While the document never made it back to Williams’ home country, it was eventually found in Europe where he later died.

By this point, the Congo was actually ruining Leopold’s finances and he was growing desperate. But to his surprise, he happened to pick the one spot where rubber grew in abundance, just as the demand for cars and bicycles rose internationally, John Dunlop, a Scottish veteran, having just invented the first pneumatic tire.

Because of this, rubber-prominent areas were the targets of mass exploitation and punishment if daily and weekly rubber quotas were not met.

Missionaries began to write not just to one another, but back home in disgust of these aforementioned “punishments,” one man’s writings put in missionary magazines and national newspapers in Europe. These punishments included rape, tying people up to trees, cutting off men's heads and genitals to be displayed along the fences of Congolese villages, cutting women’s breasts off, and most notably...

Attempt #2: The world, if only momentarily, saw BASKETS after BASKETS of right hands that had been cut off as proof that each of the cartridges given to the Africans had been fired and killed one of their own people. These hands were then smoked for preservation and brought back to their officers.

What did Leopold do once this information came out alongside photos of child mutilation? Acknowledge the abuses and moved on almost immediately.

In Europe, the rubber was processed in a city called Antwerp, ironically named after a mythological giant who also cut off hands. To this day, the connection between such a name and Belgian history has not been made by the general public as countless documents by the Belgian Ministry of Foreign Affairs are kept secret to maintain an image of untouched royalty.

One commissioner in charge of a district in Congo, Leon Fievez, produced one ton of rubber a day, boasting of 1,000 people killed, 162 villages destroyed, burning gardens and plantations so people would starve, and having “only” used 3,000 cartridges. He was nicknamed the “Devil of the Equator” and rightly so.

Attempt #3: One day, a man named Charles Stokes, a British trader working for the Germans, entered the picture. Stokes was arrested for trading in state territory, despite those former claims of free trade, and sentenced to death. Leopold was forced to pay compensation to both Britain and Germany for his death, both countries now increasingly aware of the Congo’s dark reality.

To cover it up, Leopold made claims of the Congo opening up to new companies. Let's be real: His men were on the boards of all these new companies and he took 50% of the profits.

In particular were these "concession companies" where the "hostage system" was set up. Agencies, with official hostage licenses authorizing such, would take the wives of rubber collectors for up to 15 days until the quota was met.

On the 15th day, the men of the Congo either got their wives back or faced further punishment, often death. For the agents, the 15th day meant it was time to calculate commissions, and for the king? It was proof that this new hostage system worked.

These abusive concession companies lasted over 10 years until formal competition arose in South America and Asia.

Attempt #4: Then came Edmund Dene Morel, a half-French, self-taught shipping clerk turned investigative journalist who wrote in The Speaker of the abuses faced by the Congolese, backed up by evidence, not just speculations.

Due to Morel’s growing specialization in West African affairs, he was able to not only send out 15,000 brochures and 3,700 letters in six months after his move to Wales, but start his own newspaper, West African Mail.

By 1903, Roger Casement, an ally to Morel’s cause, spent two months traveling the upper Congo, recording African testimonies. He, too, realized that missionaries were key witnesses and went to visit Joseph Clark (a missionary of 20 years) for 17 days.

Through these reports, which grew to 50 pages in length, Casement and Morel were able to solidify Belgium as perpetuating the worst colonial system Africa had ever known. Punishments included Africans performing public incest for the colonists' entertainment, decapitation, women being stabbed with wooden spikes up their vaginas, and one woman tied up to a tree and slashed straight in half from her left shoulder through her abdomen and out the other side.

The West African Mail even reported on a part of Congo no one knew existed, private property within private property called the “Crown Domain” on the other side of Lake Tumba, which gained 231 million euros alone, all sent directly to King Leopold II. Crown Domain was 10x 5)3 size of Belgium.

Founded by Morel, Liverpool became the headquarters of a coalition called the Congo Reform Association. He also published a book called Red Rubber (1906). I think you’ll find the cover particularly striking! Check out the hand in the bottom right corner being weighed against King Leopold II on the left.

Leopold obviously not having this, commissioned a number of books and monthly magazines to clear up the mess. This didn't work. Obviously.

He even tried to send his own international commission to control what the Congolese said in 1904, to no avail. This was due to a missionary named John Harris who had taken the accounts of various people in the area and sent them back to Morel.

In one particularly heartbreaking moment, a chief brought to Leopold’s judges 110 twigs for each of the entire villages, not just people, killed by the Belgian state, naming every last one.

By the time they returned to Europe, the governor-general committed suicide and, upon being asked, Harris suggested Leopold should be sent to the gallows by the relatively new International Court of Justice.

The commission's report vindicated Casement and Morel. Leopold had tricked no one. EVERYONE in Belgium was calling him out.

Leopold ordered all of the Congo State Records to be burned.

In 1908, the Congo became a Belgian colony, not longer Leopold’s personal property. The state still made claims of "civilizing" the Africans after Leopold's death though, utilizing the leftover mineral exploitation industry with no guilt.

At least during his funeral, which he was denied of having privately, the entire city booed his body <3 well deserved. By this point, he had become Europe’s most hated man of the time.

And in case you were wondering, Casement and Morel were both accused to pro-German sympathies during WWI and executed.

I would like to add more detail but I think I’ve hit a character limit. Just know that Congo’s population was cut in HALF, in some places as much as 60-90%. Villages after villages were burned, as shown through so many soldiers’ and missionaries’ journals. This was a genocide of over 10 MILLION PEOPLE y’all. Hearing this story was truly SICKENING, but here’s the BBC 4 documentary we watched for class for more: Congo: White King, Red Rubber, and Black Death.

What truly gets me is just how OTHER colonizers were calling this man out after finding out the full truth… For me, that feels like extra proof of how truly messed up this was if THEY were disturbed too.

And what feels truly insidious was how Leopold made sure to institutionalize all of his wrongdoings and was so… obviously knowing about every wrongdoing, I mean writing in letters to make sure no one else found out. Please…

Linking my angry history rant on Paul Robeson from last semester here.

Happy Black History Month.

#belgium #king leopold ii #democratic republic of congo #history #black history month #colonialism #tw genocide #tw rape #tw torture #tw massacre #the congo #tw incest #resources #bipoc #undescribed #reaux speaks #black lives matter

[sincerelyourswhistledown]

I definitely had a Lucemond Hunger Games AU collecting dust in my drafts somewhere but that was too sad for me so here's a lighter one.

After the events at Driftmark, Alicent finally puts her foot down and demands Rhaenyra's "bastards" be sent away. Now the thing is, Jacaerys and Joffrey are sent away to noble houses so no Hunger Games for them. It's only Lucerys who's sent to one of the districts, one of Larys Strong and Cristin Cole's machinations, and he's given to Alys Rivers.

Lucerys was five when he was sent away so he doesn't remember his life in the Capitol, whether it was because of his young age or trauma you decide, and he grows up as normal as a citizen does in the Hunger Games AU.

That is until he gets reaped.

Luke Rivers is District 4's tribute.

Lucerys, being his mother's child, charms the entire population. With his chubby cheeks and doe eyes, it doesn't take much for his mentors to spin a tale of him being helplessly in love with some Career tribute. With this, he gets a lot of sponsors and he wins the Hunger Games.

Lucerys has dozens of people eager to buy his company *cough* *cough* and he's horrified. He had expected to be left alone AFTER he won the games so why were so many of his sponsors leering at him like that. (We all know no one actually escapes the Hunger Games.)

But before any of this happens, some mystery man buys his contract. Now this is honestly where it gets hilarious (which shouldn't be because the Hunger Games is horrible and the people from the Capitol are horrible too), it's Aemond Targaryen.

The President's younger brother and one of the best game makers in Panem History.

Aemond automatically identifies Luke as Lucerys as soon as a video of him getting reaped was played. And maybe he's one of Lucerys' biggest sponsor, but that's only because Aemond refused to have him killed from a hand that wasn't his (sure Jan), and if the Career tribute Luke was allegedly in love with had gotten the worst kind of death then that was no one's business but Aemond's too.

The first time they meet again, Aemond plans this dramatic reunion. He's sitting in this intimidating leather swivel chair and he slowly turns to his nephew with a drawled out "well, well, well, this is an unexpected reunion".

What Aemond doesn't expect is for Lucerys to go "uhmm huh?". He's furious once he finds out Luke doesn't even remember him. Instead of going through his plan of taunting the boy and threatening him with taking his eye out, Aemond just bursts into a rant.

"Seriously, you'd think with all the trauma you've given me you'd at least have the decency to remember. The gall! The audacity! Are you telling me I spent my entire life working my ass off working to be the best game maker hoping to meet you again and scare you only for you to not even think of me once in the span of ten years?!?"

Every meeting with Aemond is basically just him ranting off about things Luke doesn't even understand. It's two hours of Luke sitting patiently on the bed, looking extremely pretty in lace, while Aemond paces and goes on his angry rants. Lucerys had honestly expected more touching with this gig, not to be some glorified shrink for this clearly unhinged Capitol man. When Aemond finds out Luke doesn't even know his name or his high position in the government, he goes off on another rant.

Lucerys nearly WISHES he was getting fucked instead. At least that would get him a few minutes of silence.

I definitely have a darker, angstier plot for a Lucemond Hunger Games AU but I keep cackling over this.

Aemond: *ready to get his revenge and hurt Lucerys*

Lucerys:

#lucerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x lucerys velaryon #lucemond #this gave me the giggles #hotd #this should and could be darker but i have the emotional range of a teaspoon

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Fourteen

A/n: Hello! This part honestly took me a while to work out so here's me hoping it came out alright:) Big thank you to @Youlookjustfinetome btw for finding me some more G pics, honestly lots of love to you, practically saved my life🥲 And I hope you all enjoy part fourteen!!

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: There's some medical stuff here, lot of mixed feelings, bit of an angry rant but not much to warn you about tbh

Masterlist

—

I'd found myself nodding away, head in another place when the doctor had come in to speak to me. 

Wishing I’d been on another plane. 

Or in a different fucking reality altogether, I really didn’t know. 

But I’d hardly paid her any attention, even when she’d rattled off the extensive list of the injuries they’d discovered since the paramedics had wheeled me in.

Severe blunt force trauma to the head. “There’s no need to fret, I know it can sound daunting but the induced coma you were put into on arrival was used to protect your brain from any further swelling after the initial hit. We’ve also done multiple scans since so we’re almost certain that there will be no longterm damage.”

“Hang on- almost? What’s that meant to mean?” Matty had piped up in retort, having held my hand through it the entire time. He hadn’t let go, not even for a second, once the shorthaired woman had arrived not long after Lee, my nurse, had slipped out.

“Only time will tell with these sorts of injuries.” She’d tried to appease us with a clinical sort of smile, but then had gone on to describe the hit to me…

I had to shake away the thoughts of it even now, long after she’d left. 

It sounded so violent. So harsh to what I could barely even recall.

“You were hit head-on. Meaning that your torso took the brunt force of the collision, which also resulted in you being thrown backwards nearly three feet. That in itself left a lot of room for damage when your body collided with the ground. The back of your head will have a rather large scar but we did our best to minimise it, and the hair should fall nicely over the top without any notice.”

I’d nodded at her once and had fought the urge to reach up and touch beneath the thick gauze they’d padded there. 

Another scar. 

I’d had to look away when Matty had tried to catch my eye. 

One perforated eardrum, left-side. “There was a severe rupture in one of your inner ear canals which was a cause for concern too. At this moment, we’re still left unsure on how long it could take for the damage to repair itself, or if it ever will as a result of the injury to your head. Currently, we’ve got you taking a high dosage of-”

She’d prattled on after that. Talks of antibiotics and surgery (if things really came down to it), and then the warning of me maybe having to deal a with a total loss of hearing incase of any infection in the future. 

I’d checked out rather quickly at that. But in truth, it had explained a lot. The ringing that wouldn’t stop. The earaches and the itching. As well as the feeling like I’m underwater, hearing everything through a tinny in-ear piece, or trying to talk over the sound of a very rowdy washing machine. 

Matty had asked the doctor a plethora of questions on my behalf at that. Or I only assumed, because the woman had replied telling him that she would be happy to pass on a couple of pamphlets for him to look over. I remembered that he’d been anxious in his agreeable nod, thanking her a few times under his breath. And that had been the last of it before she’d moved on again.

A distal radius fracture. Multiple breaks in the ribcage. “The distal radius is the larger one of the two bones in the forearm. You suffered two fractures there, one on the distal end and another a little further up. It’s a very common break though and you were able to avoid any surgery on the arm. Though, it will take between six to twelve weeks to heal. And after that, some patients still find that they need physiotherapy to get back full usage of the wrist.”

I’d looked down at my hand in that moment. Stared at the cast which started at the centre of my palm and worked its way up to the crook of my elbow. The small cut I'd received in the shop earlier that same week had nothing on this.

It was my right arm too. Which only fucked me further, and I’d had to laugh at that. As though I hadn’t suffered enough. Now I had to forgo the next few months trying to manoeuvre through life and work with my left. fucking. hand. 

I’d tried not to let that thought get to me in the moment. Focused on the fact that I could still move my fingers somewhat, even if they were swollen and a tad bit numb. It hadn’t helped then though and hardly reassured me now. 

The detailed description of my ribs current state had followed swiftly after. Which explained the trouble I had breathing, as well as the severe burning pain I felt whenever I even thought about moving.

“It was just the three fractures.” Just, I’d wanted to scoff at her. “All on one side, most likely due to the first impact made by the car. Most cases of broken ribs can be treated with rest, icing a couple times a day and pain relief.”

The doctor had then gone on to explain about the breathing and coughing exercises she was going to have me do whilst I was under-observation. Something about preventing pneumonia or the sorts. Which had just been another thing I had ended up not having the heart to hear. 

Although the fracture in one of my ribs had quickly waylaid her onto her next point. She’d actually had to pause when she’d come to it and really took the time to look me in the eye, her stoic and impersonal manner dropping. 

I mean, the woman had been nice enough, she’d smiled when necessary and took the time to explain things to me in thorough detail, but she was also evidently detached, that much was clear. She didn’t want to get overly involved in my case. Couldn’t. But then, something had ultimately shifted. Even Matty had appeared to notice it, he’d clued in to the way she’d propped herself forward in her seat, the slight glance she’d gifted her colleague before she’d cleared her throat, eyes trained back on me. 

She’d begun her account in a sincere but well-practiced tone, informing me of the injury that had been a result of my broken ribs. And as she had, I’d actually felt my entire world tilt on its head. And I only wished then to be floating again. 

Splenic rupture. That one had been the toughest pill to swallow.

“One of the ribs on your left side pierced the spleen on impact but it only tore the organ further during transport I'm afraid. It had been hard to determine at first, the three breaks had been one of our first concerns and because of your difficulty breathing our first thought had been a collapsed lung. By the time we realised how much damage had been caused, after we’d witnessed a CT scan result, there was a large amount of blood that had poured into the abdominal cavity.”

I’d just stared blankly back at her. 

“You were put under an anaesthetic rather quickly and rushed into theatre…”

“Surgery went well, although there was an altercation or two…”

“Tried to minimise scarring…”

“Risk of infection…”

“Future treatments..”

“Medications…”

I had tuned it all out. 

Physically I’d still been there. In that room with her. And Matty of course. But mentally, my mind had been far away. Beyond even my own compression. It’d felt like I’d sort of drowned and the struggle to find air had suddenly stopped. Leaving me with just an empty head. No thoughts. No feelings. Nothing on the matter.

Just the fact that I had another scar.

And that, that made me feel like a walking voodoo doll.

—

My stay in the hospital was beginning to grate on my nerves. Slowly but surely I was starting to lose my mind. And I was so sure of it. 

It had taken two days for me to come to the first time around. Two days since the hit, I mean. But now, I’d been here almost a week. Sleeping mostly, but bored beyond belief or in mind-numbing pain for the rest of it. 

Ross had come to visit. He came daily, sometimes even twice. He brought food (sticking to what he knew best) and it often ranged from the chocolate pasties he knew I tended to drift towards in the Danish bakery up near his, to all of the sugar he could smuggle inside the lining of his coat. 

He liked to keep me company too; told me all about the football, who was top of the league and what players were currently injured; kept me updated on how things were going with his mates down at the pub (the very blokey bloke types he’d always seemed to get along with); and whispered to me about all the hot gossip that was making its way around the hospital that he often caught wind of on his way up to the ward, and during his frequent visits to the vending machine. 

Ross didn’t ask too many questions either and after his first frantic visit, I found myself wanting to ask him less and less too. He was also one of the fair few that still treated me like an actual person. The usual bullying and typical snarky responses were a very welcomed change of pace, as were those eye-rolls of his that he usually gifted me each time I had a coughing fit. 

“Here we go,” He’d say with a put-upon sigh, slumping in the chair he tended to drag up beside my bed whenever Matty gave him the chance. “Always the centre of attention! I mean, can’t we just talk about me for once?”

Which only proved to worsen things because then I’d been coughing, laughing and spluttering all sorts of obscenities at him, all at the same time.

Yeah, it was safe to say that my doctors weren’t too fond of Ross.

Adam though, they liked. He popped in too, and brought Carly along with him whenever she could make it. Those two were oftentimes too empathetic in their visits though, which was sometimes hard to bare. But they’d also brought me my favourite kind of teabags and the lactose-free milk I opted for. As well as my own little kettle that they’d gone and plugged into the wall beside my bed for me- but only after I’d nonstop complained about the hospital’s lack of fulfilling drinks. 

Their tea tasted like piss water was the shorter defence there. 

But Hann had also been the one to bring me over some of the things I’d been missing from home, like my pillow, laptop and my charger- seeing as my phone had been dead since it’d been handed back to me in a plastic baggy, alongside an array of other things I didn’t much want to look at. Mostly just the clothes I’d been wearing the night of the accident.

It was a heaven send though, to be able to distract myself with a shitty Netflix series or the odd scroll through social media. Although I did have to limit my usage. Stop myself from googling questions I knew I wouldn’t like the answers to. Still, it had been a nice gesture in all, made even better by the comfort of finally wearing my own clothes and actual underwear! Instead of the itchy gown they’d had me in. 

Though mentioning that, the one who knew me best, who I thought would be by my bedside, holding my hand, and making sure I stayed well-rested. Who soothed me during the moments of panic and disorientation. Who whispered quietly in my ear and held me close when the reminders became too much to bare, and when pain was all I could think about. 

He was nowhere to be found.

Because Matty had gone and stepped into that role for him. For me, I guess. Sweet, chaotic Matty who could barely even look after himself at the best of times, and who’d spent most of his adult life revelling in the fact that he had no strings to tie him down. He was there for me. A constant. 

Only ever leaving in a rush to shower and change so that he could make it back in time for when I had to take my medication. 

Charming Lee into letting him stay long past visiting hours and having the sweetheart swindle him a makeshift bed that he could use, instead of the clump of chairs he’d converted into a shitty lounger.

Talking the rest of the patients into doing a bit of karaoke and dancing by my bed to keep me entertained. He’d even had Ross bring him his guitar so that we could sing together before lights out. Him crooning like he did best, me all muffled and croaky. Though he still claimed that my voice was as angelic as the last time he’d heard it. 

Matty. My best mate Matty. 

I didn’t think I’d ever been more thankful to have another human being in my life. Nor would I ever be.

So after prodding him with multiple questions on where George could’ve possibly been. What was keeping him away. And only receiving vague responses in turn, or worse, being easily distracted. I finally decided to give up.

Well. Not give up, per say. Just allowed Matty some peace and quiet. I knew it wasn’t his fault that George had been a no-show. That he’d gone and left me when I needed him most. So the questions had become less and less frequent, until I’d decided to not ask them at all.

“You sure you’re alright?” Matty repeated for what felt like the fifteenth time since I’d accidentally woken him that morning. 

He was setting out my lunch for me, something I found infuriating but was also what kept his hands occupied and brain busy, he was eyeing me a bit strangely. Like he felt as though something was inherently off and he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I rolled my eyes, a fond smile limning my lips even as he pierced the straw through my smoothie’s carton for me. 

“I told you I could do that.” I scolded lightly. 

Matty merely hummed in reply, “Yeah, well you say that but you can hardly hike down your own knickers even after I’ve dragged you all the way to the loo, so…”

He snorted at my sudden glare, waving me off with a smirk as he handed me the drink and stole the sandwich the nurses had dropped off for me.

“What kind is it today?” I asked him, sipping at the smoothie that came with it whilst he plopped himself down on the other end of my bed, kicking his feet up near my uninjured wrist.

“Ham and cheese, I reckon. Maybe a bit of mayo but can’t be too sure. Stingy fucks these lot.” He retorted through a mouthful. I grinned and withheld a painful laugh.  

This had become a bit of a pastime for us. Him stealing the sandwiches that I refused to eat, because they always seemed to line the bread with a crap ton of butter, which even thinking about had my stomach rolling. And him then critiquing every flavour to me. 

Yesterday’s had been stuffing and egg, something that had had Matty grimacing even as he fought to finish the first few mouthfuls. He’d quickly given up on that one though and washed the foul taste out with one of the many cans of San Pellegrino he'd asked Hann to bring in for him. Prat. 

“Anyway, you never answered me.” Matty mentioned again, bringing me back to the present. I hummed at him with only a tilt of my head. He rolled his eyes and prodded my hip with his socked foot. “Come on, something’s up. Can sense it, can’t I?”

I snorted softly at him, quirking a brow. “What, you become a self-proclaimed empath in the time you went home to shower?”

He flashed me a toothy grin which wrinkled his brown eyes. “Summat like that, I reckon.”

I huffed, shaking my head albeit in a measure of amusement. “Nothing’s wrong, Wonder Woman. Dr Mann even said I was improving, did she not?”

I wasn’t met with a reply though, so I glanced away from my smoothie and back towards Matty. I found him to simply be staring back at me. A prominent line etched between his brows.

“What?” I asked him with pursed lips. 

It was his turn to shake his head then, looking away to gaze out the shuttered window. We were quite high up, 6th floor if what I can recall Ross saying is true. The sun was high in the sky, and there was not a drop of rain in sight. 

I looked away then and kicked at Matty’s elbow. “Come on, what is it? You’re bein’ a right weirdo.”

He shrugged, chewing away, eyes still cast outside. “Just, you haven’t mentioned it is all.”

I frowned at him, unsure of what he possibly could've meant. “Mentioned what?”

Matty’s gaze pivoted towards me for a brief moment, looking for something I was sure, probably a a tell only he could make out. Then he shrugged at me again.

“Don’t worry about it, yeah?”

“Matty…” I tried, but my tired groan was cut short by the prominent arrival of Ross. 

An angry looking Ross, actually.

I boggled a little at the sight, as did Matty who'd jumped around to see what had caught me by so much surprise.

“Matty. A word.” Ross demanded of the curly haired twat curled up by my feet, having stuck half his foot in the door and not had the common decency to even spare me a hello. What would his mother say? 

“Erm, morning to you too, MacDonald!” I scoffed as I made a face, but it'd been futile seeing as Ross was already back out the door and pacing up and down the hallway. Matty patted my shin in quiet comfort and gave me an apologetic smile before he gestured his head over towards the hall.

“Best go see what he wants.”

And all I could do was watch as Matty left, still chained to this hospital bed. Once the door had dragged close behind him, I found myself with literally fuck all else to do. So, like the adult I was, I threw myself back into my nest of pillows and groaned pathetically. Wishing I could do more than just lie here day in and day out.

—MATTY’S POV—

“I’m gonna fucking kill him, Matty.” Were the first words Ross spoke to him as Matty slipped out of the room, catching him mostly off guard.

Ross was hardly ever the aggressor. In actual fact, he was one of the most tolerant guys Matty had ever known. It truly took a lot to get him to crack, or even tell you to piss off, let alone this riled up. He didn’t actually think he’d ever been witness to Ross’s ire, but reckoned he could easily check that off the list now though.

Matty blinked for a moment then cast a chance glance back through the glass and towards his best mate. The girl who was currently holed up in a hospital room with a frown as huffy as it was prominent. It was hard seeing her like that, so broken. When in actuality, she was the toughest fucking person he’d had the privilege of knowing.

Cut deep.

“Right,” He dipped his chin and took a much needed breath before he ushered Ross a little farther down the ward, away from the room's entrance. Not wanting her to hear or see the state Ross had seemingly worked himself into, although Matty could already guess what the cause would be. “What’re you playing at? You can’t storm in here like that, mate.”

Ross groaned into the palms of the hands he dragged harshly over his face, tugging on his temples for a second before he dropped them altogether. His shoulders were still tense though, practically touching the lobes of his ears. 

“Yeah, yeah ‘course, sorry.”

Matty jerked his nod back down the hall. “No need for that, ‘cause you, man, are gonna be the one dodging all her questions when she ultimately starts asking what that was all about.”

Ross almost came very close to pouting then. Matty was sure of it, if only it hadn’t been for that fiery wall of anger he was still shrouded in. “Really? Alright. Fine, yeah fair. Deserve that much, I ‘spose. Just- I’m beyond fucking livid, mate.”

Matty’s brow pinched. “Why, what's happened?”

“What didn’t, you mean.” Ross scoffed, back to pacing in his big boots. Matty just hoped that none of the morning staff came to see what was causing the sudden commotion. They already seemed to hate the pair of them enough.

“Alright, mate. Just, I don’t know. Start with what’s got you so…” Matty shrugged a hand aimlessly towards his bearded bassist.

Ross tugged another hand through his long hair, loosening the bun he had it in by a tad.

“I don’t know where to start, to be honest. Maybe with the fact that I’ve tried everything. Fucking everything! Phoning, texting. Even passed by his a couple times. He won’t open the poxy door. Won’t answer Jamie or Hann either. I went over again this morning- saw some shit on Twitter last night so I reckoned I might find him there. Stole that spare key from you too, like you said, and tried using it on the locks but the prick’s only got the chain on. Latch too. So I didn't make it far.”

Matty was already chewing at his lower lip. Something he’d found himself doing more and more often as of late. Ever since that sodding fucking phone call, the one he’d almost missed. He could still hear George’s muffled cries now. The sirens. The pleads. Then the apology. 

His hands shook even as he recalled it all. Fucking coward.

His attention was swiftly brought back to the present when Ross started up again, only getting more and more irritated the longer his story went on.

“So, like the twat I am. I sat outside his all morning. Just managed to catch him dragging himself home, though. Don’t know how the fucker had gone and locked himself out from the inside but, well, it’s G ain’t it?” He said through gritted teeth, “Looked a right state, too. Still halfway to pissed and smelt a bit. I mean, is he deluded? She’s in here. Whilst he’s off, doing fuck knows what, out there! It’s an utter piss take, mate. Everyday she asks after him, asks if he’s doing alright, if things are okay. And he, he could not give less of a shit.”

“Hasn’t today.” Matty found himself mumbling, dark eyes casted out towards the lifts as a familiar itch passed through his veins. Which was convenient because just as Ross went to question him on it, Hann stepped out through the sliding metal doors. 

The man paused, catching sight of them just as the lift closed behind him. “What’s going on?” He asked with a furrowed brow.

“George.” Ross muttered with venom.

Whilst Matty sighed “Nothing.” at the exact same time. He simply shook his head dismissing it all when Hann approached them. “Where’ve you been anyway?”

Hann’s sharp gaze darted between the pair of them before he answered, “Was on the phone to Jamie most of this morning, then popped by to talk to Y/n’s boss. Lovely woman, actually.”

A real grin stretched its way across Matty’s face at the mention of Delia. “Isn’t she just?” He fawned.

Hann gave him one of those famous smiles of his and then proceeded to hold up a bag. “She mentioned she’d be stopping by again soon, but wanted me to bring this over.”

Matty’s attention dropped down to the bright bag, a prominent ‘Get well soon!’ engraved in gold on its side. “Nice of her. Did you get the stuff I asked for too?”

Adam rolled his eyes and moved his right shoulder, showing off the other bag, this one a duffle. “Yes, all here. Don’t stress.”

He went to reach for it when Hann’s eyebrows did a weird sort of dance on his forehead. Matty pulled a face at it and glanced over at Ross, who was still acting a bit aggy with his arms all crossed and nostrils still flared. Though Matty couldn’t fault him. He was still rightfully pissed off too.

“Tell me what’s gone on and then you can have the bag.” Adam bargained, receiving a pair of narrowed eyes in return.

“Drive a hard bargain, you do.” Matty huffed, falling back against the wall as he gestured outwardly towards Ross. “Was gonna tell you anyway.”

Hann merely hummed at him, dropping the bags between his legs as his head rounded on Ross. “What’s G done now?”

Ross’s jaw ticked and he went on another ramble, rehashing things to Hann in a bit more detail before Matty had to stop him.

“Where’s he at now then?”

“Passed out back at mine.” Ross told them, though he didn’t appear too happy about that fact. “Fucker had me drag him back to my car, wouldn’t move from the curb otherwise.”

Matty tucked his tongue between his front teeth, mind whirling. He hadn’t been to George’s yet, hadn’t wanted to leave the hospital let alone the place where everything had happened. He could only imagine what torment George has been faced with having to look at it day in and day out.

From what Ross had told them, the road had been fully blocked off until late afternoon the very next day with police patrolling and removing the vehicle from the scene. Matty grimaced at the thought of it all and listened to the quiet tones of Hann’s voice trying to calm Ross down. He deemed the moment as the easy access he needed to grab hold of the duffle and head back down the ward, deciding not to think too much about it right then.

Adam’s tut echoed and followed after him. Matty threw him a smug smile from over his shoulder.

Now it was time to get to work.

Part fifteen>

#the 1975 #george daniel #george daniel the 1975 #george daniel fic #george 1975 #george daniel x reader #matty #matty healy #george daniel x you #1975 #best friend matty #the 1975 band #fic #adam hann #ross macdonald #carly holt #1975 band #matty 1975 #series #work #exes to lovers #y/n #reader #multi part fic #x you #x reader #angst #laugh #fluff #humour

[agentrouka-blog]

Rouka Reads: The World Of Ice And Fire - 2. The Coming Of The First Men

Preface

1 - The Dawn Age

The comfy world of the branch-swinging, barrow-building giants and their arch enemies, the face-carving, skinchanging, arrow-shooting children of the forest is about to be disrupted.

But how?

According to the most well-regarded accounts from the Citadel, anywhere from eight thousand to twelve thousand years ago, in the southernmost reaches of Westeros, a new people crossed the strip of land that bridged the narrow sea and connected the eastern lands with the land in which the children and giants lived.

GRRM, are you KIDDING me? (Hello, First Men.)

How many times are we hit over the head with the idea that the Wall itself and the Stark line is 8,000 years old?

The Others are as dead as the children of the forest, gone eight thousand years. -- AGOT, Catelyn I

The Wall has stood for what, eight thousand years? -- AGOT, Eddard I

The Others are only a story, a tale to make children shiver. If they ever lived at all, they are gone eight thousand years. - AGOT, Jon VII

The Long Night has come before. Oh, eight thousand years is a good while, to be sure … -- AGOT, Jon VIII

[...] and all the Starks going back eight thousand years. -- ACOK, Bran III

[...] the mighty Eddard Stark, of a line eight thousand years old . . . -- ACOK, Sansa IV

For eight thousand years the men of House Stark had [...] -- ASOS, Jon II

The Night's Watch takes no part [...]. For eight thousand years—" -- ASOS, Samwell V

For eight thousand years the men of the Night's Watch have [...] -- ADWD, Jon XI

And NOW Yandel is telling me that there's a casual span of 4,000 years that either did or did not happen before that? Or the number 8,000 is just wrong and everyone and their bastard cousin is just tossing it about for funsies? OH REALLY?

Samwell, make me angry:

The oldest histories we have were written after the Andals came to Westeros. The First Men only left us runes on rocks, so everything we think we know about the Age of Heroes and the Dawn Age and the Long Night comes from accounts set down by septons thousands of years later. There are archmaesters at the Citadel who question all of it. Those old histories are full of kings who reigned for hundreds of years, and knights riding around a thousand years before there were knights. You know the tales, Brandon the Builder, Symeon Star-Eyes, Night's King . . . we say that you're the nine hundred and ninety-eighth Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, but the oldest list I've found shows six hundred seventy-four commanders, which suggests that it was written during . . ." "Long ago," Jon broke in. "What about the Others?" (AFFC, Samwell I)

I swear on my breakfast mango, this timeline violence will answer to justice one day. And if Jon Snow interrupts another rant by my favorite nerd about to shine some light on this mess, I will stab him again.

So from now on: House Stark, a dynasty approximately several thousand years old. Possibly. But potentially not! Who knows! Not me!

It was here that the First Men came into Dorne via the Broken Arm, which was not yet broken.

Gee, I wonder what happened to that piece of geography.

Why these people left their homelands is lost to all knowing, but when they came, they came in force.

Actually, I really do wonder what prompted this migration. Just running out of space in Essos? Population explosion? Escaping conflict?

Thousands entered and began to settle the lands, and as the decades passed, they pushed farther and farther north. Such tales as we have of those migratory days are not to be trusted, for they suggest that, within a few short years, the First Men had moved beyond the Neck and into the North. Yet, in truth, it would have taken decades, even centuries, for this to occur.

Odd conflict to introduce out of nowhere. I suppose "tales not to be trusted" is the key information here, then, since he doesn't elaborate on those stories at all. Thanks, GRRM, I was not at all aware that there may be SLIGHT INCONSISTENCIES in your ancient lore.

Absolutely primed to believe that we are going to discover some Big Historical Lies with plot relevance in the next books. I swear.

Now give me something reliable to work with.

What does seem to be accurate from all the tales, however, is that the First Men soon came to war with the children of the forest.

Of course. :(

Unlike the children, the First Men farmed the land and raised up ringforts and villages.

Sounds cosy enough.

And in so doing, they took to chopping down the weirwood trees, including those with carved faces, and for this, the children attacked them, leading to hundreds of years of war.

:(

It's interesting that all accounts agree that the direct violence was instigated by the Children. Was there no communication beforehand? Warnings, ultimatums?

Also where were the giants in all this? Just staying out of the way minding their own business?

The hunters among the children—their wood dancers—became their warriors as well, [...]

Dance as a metaphor for violent conflict #361. Arya vibes.

but for all their secret arts of tree and leaf, they could only slow the First Men in their advance. The greenseers employed their arts, and tales say that they could call the beasts of marsh, forest, and air to fight on their behalf: direwolves and monstrous snowbears, cave lions and eagles, mammoths and serpents, and more.

Once again I wonder how happy the animals were to participate in this, given the example of Varamyr.

But the First Men proved too powerful, and the children are said to have been driven to a desperate act.

Uh oh.

Legend says that the great floods that broke the land bridge that is now the Broken Arm and made the Neck a swamp were the work of the greenseers, who gathered at Moat Cailin to work dark magic. Some contest this, however: the First Men were already in Westeros when this occurred, and stemming the tide from the east would do little more than slow their progress. Moreover, such power is beyond even what the greenseers are traditionally said to have been capable of … and even those accounts appear exaggerated. It is likelier that the inundation of the Neck and the breaking of the Arm were natural events, possibly caused by a natural sinking of the land. What became of Valyria is well-known, and in the Iron Islands, the castle of Pyke sits on stacks of stone that were once part of the greater island before segments of it crumbled into the sea.

Okay:

Considering the unlikelihood of The Doom being a natural disaster, I vote Dark Magic. Moat Cailin would have been built much later though the name "moat" suggests a relationship between this event and the creation/location of the castle. I was going to mock them forgetting that new settlers could arrive on boats but given the effort of building a fleet that size (hello, Nymeria), I see their point.

Hardhome, 600 years ago. The first time the region beyond the Wall had a real city developing. And it goes kaboom with such violence, the place is still considered cursed today. COTF, I want to talk.

Erosion in Pyke? Really? Yandel, stop trying to distract me.

So, did it help? Maybe? You'd think a large scale geographic alteration would motivate the First Men to take them seriously.

Regardless, the children of the forest fought as fiercely as the First Men to defend their lives. Inexorably, the war ground on across generations, until at last the children understood that they could not win. The First Men, perhaps tired of war, also wished to see an end to the fighting. The wisest of both races prevailed, and the chief heroes and rulers of both sides met upon the isle in the Gods Eye to form the Pact.

Nope. Still took them all ages to sit down together.

Anyway, let's have a quick look how this stacks up against the version of events told to Bran in the main series:

“But some twelve thousand years ago, the First Men appeared from the east, crossing the Broken Arm of Dorne before it was broken. They came with bronze swords and great leathern shields, riding horses. No horse had ever been seen on this side of the narrow sea. No doubt the children were as frightened by the horses as the First Men were by the faces in the trees. As the First Men carved out holdfasts and farms, they cut down the faces and gave them to the fire. Horror-struck, the children went to war. The old songs say that the greenseers used dark magics to make the seas rise and sweep away the land, shattering the Arm, but it was too late to close the door. The wars went on until the earth ran red with blood of men and children both, but more children than men, for men were bigger and stronger, and wood and stone and obsidian make a poor match for bronze. Finally the wise of both races prevailed, and the chiefs and heroes of the First Men met the greenseers and wood dancers amidst the weirwood groves of a small island in the great lake called Gods Eye. (AGOT, Bran VII)

Seems Luwin read the same sources as Yandel, but he does not believe in being fexible with the timeline. Nothing but solid numbers for our maester.

Now about that Pact. Yandel?

Giving up all the lands of Westeros save for the deep forests, the children won from the First Men the promise that they would no longer cut down the weirwoods. All the weirwoods of the isle on which the Pact was forged were then carved with faces so that the gods could witness the Pact, and the order of green men was made afterward to tend to the weirwoods and protect the isle. With the Pact, the Dawn Age of the world drew to a close, and the Age of Heroes followed.

They divided up the land and made peace. I bet that was just about as easy and fast as it is implied here! :)

How does Luwin tell it?

“There they forged the Pact. The First Men were given the coastlands, the high plains and bright meadows, the mountains and bogs, but the deep woods were to remain forever the children’s, and no more weirwoods were to be put to the axe anywhere in the realm. So the gods might bear witness to the signing, every tree on the island was given a face, and afterward, the sacred order of green men was formed to keep watch over the Isle of Faces. “The Pact began four thousand years of friendship between men and children. In time, the First Men even put aside the gods they had brought with them, and took up the worship of the secret gods of the wood. The signing of the Pact ended the Dawn Age, and began the Age of Heroes.” (AGOT, Bran VII)

Once again, Luwin doesn't truck with that "we can't be sure" new age-y doubtful nonsense about the timeline. Four. Thousand. Years. Of friendship. Jot that down.

According to him, that friendship ending coincided roughly with the emerging of House Stark, the Watch and the Wall (if they are 8 millenia old) - but more significantly with a new wave of migration. Much more violent and much quicker than the one before. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Timeline shenanigans aside, it seems that the main message here is that the First Men and the Children could have sat down to make peace a whole lot sooner if they hadn't decided on killing each other right away. Seems like this extended bloodshed, as much as anything else, may have contributed to their "long dwindling".

Or, you know, it's all lies and this entire book is designed to drive me to madness. We'll see!

****

Now about that island:

Whether the green men still survive on their isle is not clear although there is the occasional account of some foolhardy young riverlord taking a boat to the isle and catching sight of them before winds rise up or a flock of ravens drives him away. The nursery tales claiming that they are horned and have dark, green skin is a corruption of the likely truth, which is that the green men wore green garments and horned headdresses.

Or foolhardy young Reeds.

What, if any, is the relationship between these folks and Bloodraven in his subterranean weirwood chateau?

And why does this island have weird parallels with the Quiet Isle and the island at Queenscrown?

And is this order of unicolored guardianship a spiritual predecessor of the Night's Watch?

Do they have families and kids taking over regularly, or is it the same guys still serving there?

I am confident that this book will answer none of my questions. <3

****

Next up: The Age of Heroes!

#rouka reads #the world of ice and fire #long post #first men #asoiaf history #children of the forest

[broflovski-brah]

stop using kyle as leeway to talk politics. i know ive talked about this before but shit on this site just gets worse and worse. stop using him as a gateway for your political beliefs on the israel/palestine conflict. it doesn’t prove your point. targeting a fictional jewish 9 year old isn’t gonna make the war end so you might as well stop hurting actual people with your bigotry and go to twitter or something if you want to debate politics.

your posts and fanart using kyle as a mask for your opinions isn’t going to get the israeli government to be like “oh y’know what we should do? we should stop because this person on fucking tumblr says so’ like it’s not helping anybody. it’s hurting actual jewish people from what i can tell. send me all the anon hate you want. i don’t care. i can take it. but i’m sick of seeing this shit.

another thing i have a problem with is the fact that this fandom so desperately claims not to want tratt to make an episode based around this conflict, but i know that if they were to make an episode and didn’t portray israelis in the worst light imaginable this fandom will go ballistic because ‘it’s offensive to the palestinians’.

i’ll say this once and i’ll say it again. i absolutely do not under any circumstances support what israel is doing. i think that what is going on there is absolutely disgusting and words cannot comprehend how vile this situation is. however, you also can’t just look at what you want to look at. there is a lot of history between the two, stuff i am not yet qualified to talk about because i don’t feel like i know enough about it to say what i want to say. you also cannot just overlook october 7th. you cannot ignore what the people in israel went through as well.

with that little disclaimer out of the way, back to the topic at hand. south park has made so many offensive jokes. jokes about the holocaust, about sexual abuse, about political issues outside of this. and yet nobody cared. but i can absolutely tell that yall will go absolutely ballistic if tratt were to make an episode that didn’t show the israelis in the worst light they can. so why only care now? why isn’t anyone angry about the past jokes they’ve made? why isn’t anyone upset about that, but the moment anyone in this fandom talks about israel/palestine it’s always ‘censor israel because israel is bad and leave palestine because palestine is good’. like if we’re going by that logic why does nobody censor russia when they’re talking about it? (from what i can tell) why does nobody censor one side when talking about american politics? why is it just this one single conflict that people are so up in arms about censoring one party and not the other?

i do agree that a south park israel/palestine episode would be in horrible, horrible taste. i’m not saying like ‘oh let tratt make that happen because it would be funny’ no. it wouldn’t be funny. that’s absolutely not the case. however, if you guys are going to rant about why tratt airing a south park episode is bad, why do you turn around and ignore the fact that this fandom is actively making fanart and fanfics so they can talk about their political stances while using kyle as a puppet for said viewings?

i guess what i’m asking si where is the line. because form what i can gather, this fandom thinks it’s okay for people to make the most disgusting fanfics and fanart of kyle, tokenizing him and marginalizing him, but the moment someone mentions tratt making an episode it’s suddenly too far? in what world does that make sense? because i know yall don’t do your research beforehand. you just hear what you want to hear and say what you want to say. but the minute someone counters you with actual evidence you freak out. why is that?

(and again. i’m saying this now so i don’t get anyone thinking i don’t support free palestine. what is happening in palestine is vile and disgusting. it’s awful that this is happening, and i have been doing what i can to help out in the means of fundraisers and raising money. i don’t support what israel is currently doing. but i also don’t support october 7th, and i don’t condone the people who claim that people outside of the israeli government have anything to do with what israel is choosing to do just because they’re from israel or they are jewish. i am very anti genocide on both sides, obviously. and i do support free palestine whole heartedly. this post is simply made for the fandom because i’m so sick of seeing people get driven out of the fandom because of the way the fandom treats people like them. this goes for any fandom. not just south park, even though this is basically me ranting about that specific fandom.)

#south park #skipper speaks #kyle broflovski #israel #palestine #politics #(feel free to block the politics tag if it bothers you/you don’t want to look at stuff like this) #i feel like i should put a tw but i don’t know what it would be for

[zeroducks-2]

Freedom of speech but not freedom from consequences. Anti-censorship but we still don’t want to platform bigots 🫤 Coming from a neutral party, I think you could learn a lot from listening to all perspectives to avoid echo chambers. Form your own opinion instead of following a crowd. My opinion? Hate the person, not the ship. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, but that is what the book cover is made for. I think it’s healthier if you and everyone else stopped trying to be antagonistic? How are you supposed to spread positivity if you’re always on the verge of angry ranting?

Okay I'm going to try and answer for the sake of the people who might read this kind of bs in their inboxes and be affected negatively by it, and maybe even feel like they're being unfair towards the very bullies which spend their energies harassing and insulting (and sometimes also doxxing and suicide bating) us.

Let's break this down.

1. "freedom of speech but not freedom from consequences" I can't even talk about some dark themes in fiction or my own personal history of real life abuse without getting termed here. Erotic art can't be posted almost anywhere at this point, and not just the kind antis dislike. Freedom is a construct on social media because ultimately these spaces are owned by someone, and you'll be kicked out if they don't like you.

2 "we don't want to platform bigots" no, absolutely we don't. Historically, giving a platform to bigots and hatemongers fosters hate, violence and censorship. Also I have no power to platform or deplatform anyone, I'm just a guy on tumblr, so I don't even know what you're on about with this. If I had the power to decide, trust me that I would kick the terfs the fuck out of here anyways. And also the cowards who hide under the anon cover to send hate and threats.

3 "listen to perspectives and avoid echo chambers" I'm over 30 and I've been a kinkster for most of my life. I'm queer. Among other things, history and queer history are in my field of studies. I didn't form my opinion here, I came here with one already. I listened to all the perspectives you might think of also because I was here when the rise of censorship and puritanism happened, and by the way you know who got deplatformed? The kinkster and the artists, surely not the bigots. I don't think I've ever seen an instance of an anti being blocked or termed for harassment, whereas blogs get blocked every day for having NSFW content.

4 "form your own opinion instead of following a crowd" again, do you really think I existed as a blank slate before creating this blog?

5 "my opinion is(...)" You sound like a Christian preacher and it gives me the heebiejeebies.

6 "it's healthier if you stopped trying to be antagonistic" sweetheart, we are being bullied every day. If you're someone who creates erotic art of any kind you're subjected to a ton of harassment, and if you create something which could be considered problematic, you get death threats. Suibating. Insults lathered with misogyny, transphobia, queerphobia, you get treated like a freak of nature and threatened to have your livelihood taken away. Or threats of doxxing and of deplatforming. And you might very well get your blog shut down. I'm going to stop being antagonistic when I'll stop being antagonized, and if you think that said bullying is justified and I should just suck it up - and I say this in the most antagonistic way possible - fuck off. Not one single ship or one single fictional character is worth the harassment of another human being.

7 "how are you supposed to spread positivity of you're always on the verge of angry ranting" What makes you think I want to spread postivity? No like, honestly. What makes you think that my purpose with this blog is that. I'm here to talk about my blorbos, and if this makes someone happy then good for them. If the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate about things bothers you, no one is forcing you to stay.

Your whole thing is a mix of victim blaming and fake neutrality which is not welcome on my blog. Please block me and go on with your life, I'm not interested in your empty platitudes.

To anyone else who's reading this, don't ever feel guilty for defending yourself and for fighting back against oppressive measures. There is never a good reason for harassment, and if you were subjected to it, it's in your right to be angry. No matter what p r o b l e m a t i c ship you posted about.

#Anon hate #Long post #'hate the person not the ship' dude what the fuck #Dislike the ship and block the tag. Don't fucking hate anyone #Weirdo

[luniidae]

A day in the life of Luvia (HoH - Adult)

Note: I... Wanted to try something, haha.

____________________________________

7:00: Wake up, hear Raphael ranting from his office.

7:30: Breakfast at the grand table, love 🥞 ✨

7:50: Bath time.

8:00: Get dressed, put on makeup, jewelries and parfum (smell like coconut-vanilla).

8:30: On my way to the archives, avoid the Boudoir, even if I know Haarlep is still sleeping. This lazy bitch.

8:34: First lesson of the day, History of Hells with the Archivist (boring with him...)

9:30: Fall asleep, scorned by the Archivist.

9:55: End of lesson, on my way to Raphael's office.

10:00: Poetry time with Raphael ✨

11:00: Raphael happy with my performance, so happy too.

11:15: Practice Organ and sing 🎶

12:20: Lunch time at the grand table🍗

12:40: Second lesson of the day, practice of magic with Korilla (yay 💫)

14:00: Third lesson of the day, practice of blood magic with Raphael ✨, training on debtors, haha.

16:00: Listen to Raphael plotting, get jealous when he mentions "another mouse" 🐁

16:30: Get teased by Haarlep on my way to my bedroom. Threaten Nubaldin to relax.

16:45: Finally reach my bedroom and tell Haarlep to leave me alone again (Damnit, dude is never tired).

16:50: Reading, writing, singing, playing music.

17:30: Get bored, try some blood magic.

17:35: Quickly tired of my own room, get out to practice in the living room. Accidentally splash blood on Raphael's self portait.

17:37: Panic, try to find a solution before he returns.

17:39: Haarlep mocking me and me yelling at him to help me instead.

17:43: The Archivist gets a heart attack when he sees the painting and faints. Oh damn.

17:47: Finally manage to "fix" the painting with an illusion spell and pretend nothing happened.

17:55: Slap Haarlep who was getting too close once again. Then bring the Archivist back to the Archives.

18:00: Enjoy my free time with a bubble bath. Smell good.

18:40: Miss Raphael...

19:00: Someone's trying to break in the HoH ?

19:15: Find the intruder and use blood magic on them.

19:20: Like to hear them scream.

19:44: Throw them over the balcony into Avernus.

20:30: Raphael's back ✨ Listen to him about his day, get jealous again when he mentions Tav. Talk about the intruder I got rid of to show him I'm better than them.

21:00: Dinner time together (with Korilla)

21:45: Back to my bedroom, hear Hope's torture session.

22:00: Poetry time ✨

22:50: Hear Raphael getting angry about his portait. Accuse the intruder I killed earlier.

23:00: Discuss with Raph' about everything and anything as usual, drink wine, so happy.

24:00: Sleep.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #fantasy #video games #bg3 oc #bg3 raphael #bg3 house of hope #bg3 haarlep #bg3 korilla

[pavardscherie]

Hello <3 Could you write something about Benjamin Pavard and reader going on a date and he's such a simp for her? <3

my beautiful, beautiful girl; benjamin pavard

pairing. benjamin pavard & f! reader summary. benji takes you out on a date, and is an absolute simp for you.

izzy talks. i love that man so freaking much, it’s really unhealthy but well. benji is just a different class of men. it’s that easy, haha.

requests are open!

you shared a story about your classes while gesturing almost wildly through the air with your hands. another girl from university tried to befriend you, in an attempt to get to know benjamin and his teammates. it’s been the same routine for the past year.

complaining about the whiny comments of the girls, you exhaled a deep breath. almost an annoyed groan. yet, benjamin hasn’t moved his position. arms still crossed on the table, leaned slightly forward with his weight on the table, and the attentive gaze focused on you.

he loved to listen to your voice. the little high-pitched sound your gentle tone added, when complaining about the useless attempts of other females. or the repeating blinks when you tried to understand a situation. you were beautiful to him, in every possible state. annoyed, angry, sad and satisfied. too many emotions but benjamin admired each little thing.

“are you even listening?” fingers snapped in front of benjamin’s dreamy face, attempting to regain his attention.

“yep.” leaning forward, he took her hand in his and placed them back on top of the table. fingers half-heartily intertwined, his thumb drew small circles across her knuckles. “just admired you.”

“admired me?” you raised an eyebrows, a tad of confusion about his confession twisted your expression. “why? for what?”

“because you’re beautiful.” pavard confessed, shrugging the shoulders. a wide smile tugged on the corners of his mouth, resembling the satisfaction he felt.

“thank you, but you know, i was just ranting about another girl, wanting to use me? like again?“

„i know.“ benjamin admitted, propping up his elbow on the table to place his chin in the palm. „guess it’s your extrovert kind of personality. always open arms, and a word of good advice on the tip of your tongue. i’m pretty sure, they admire you more than any of my teammates.“

„are you alright?“ you raised an eyebrow, the confusion about the sudden amount of compliments growing. eyebrows furrowed in a deep frown, the long wrinkles appearing across your forehead. “are you drunk?”

“what? no.” benjamin’s chuckle sounded like the carefree melody of a bird. a sweet sound sung with happiness and comfort. “you’re just the most beautiful and kind woman i’ve ever had the chance to meet. i don’t know how you’re doing it but being in your presence already lightens my mood and makes my heart race. you’re like, the best gift on christmas eve, the greatest goal in football history and the most important championship i could have won. i really, really don’t know how i deserve you but i’m extremely thankful to have the opportunity to feel your love.”

the compliments were a rambled mess of syllables. breaths stuck in his throat as the sentences trembled out of his dry mouth without a long break. while you attempted to understand where the sudden emotional outbreak was coming from, benjamin’s eyes could have turned into a heart-shaped form.

"you're completely simping over your girlfriend, benjamin." you chuckled to yourself, still finding the appreciation between the sparks of amusement. benjamin used compliments in any given sense. on special occasions, when he came home from a long training session or to smoothen the anger after an argument. it worked, always. "how can i not? i'm a simp for you, mon amour."

another confession, another breathtaking smile from the football players. lips curled upwards, almost lifted towards the corners of his hickory orbs. happiness suited his gentle features, a delightful look for the usually tensed up muscles. “you made that very clear, my love.” you chuckled, leaning back on the stool, still dazzled from the load of compliments.

“then don’t forget about it, my beautiful, beautiful princess.” his chin placed in the palm of his right hand, the elbow rested on the wooden table beside the empty food plate. gazing at you, almost staring intensely, he still could not believe how he ever deserved such a gentle soul. it was his mission to let you feel his genuine admiration any given day, and benjamin was truly living up to it.

“stop now, you’re making me blush.” you giggled, holding a hand over your face, carefully to not smear the make up. even through the thick foundation, the layer of a golden highlighter, the tint of candy red blemished the span of your cheeks. “still looks beautiful.”

benjamin shrugged the shoulders, leaning across the square table to reach out for your hand. calloused fingers wrapped around your skin ones, he pulled your arm away and exposed your blushed face. if you would not witness how his lips curled further upwards, you would have never believed that his smile could grow further. but it did. exactly at the moment, when his caramel orbs landed on you.

you were the source of his happiness, and he was deeply in love. an absolute simp for you.

.

#football blurb #football drabble #football imagine #bayern munich #bayern münchen #fc bayern munich #german football #bayern munchen #fc bayern #football fans #benjamin pavard blurb #benjamin pavard imagine #benjamin pavard drabble #benjamin pavard #benjamin pavard fluff #french footballers #french national team #football fluff #bundesliga

[flyingappa]

just saw a post about endgame and i am now obligated to rehash the same rant i have every time i think about that movie

as a writer it is so, so fucking personal to me the way they absolutely WRECKED steve’s character. i have other issues with the movie, plot holes and implausibilities that were glossed over for the glory of the culmination of an unprecedented decade-long creation of such an intricate web of plot and character and meaning. i think the movie, as an event, was cool as hell, but i have many bones to pick with it, most especially steve FUCKING rogers going back in time.

how are you gonna look an entire fandom, millions of people, in the eye, and deliberately throw out YEARS of character development and the literal basis of his character?

how are you going to tell me that steve “if I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it” rogers, steve “i had ‘em on the ropes” rogers stepped away from the biggest fight of his life, from rebuilding a world that needed him more than ever, to go back in time and, what, retire to the countryside with his old flame? am i expected to believe that he just sat down and watched history play out, without doing anything to prevent the tragedies? to save his friends before they ever even come into existence? to save BUCKY?

how are you going to tell me that steve “til the end of the line” rogers, who spent at least 3 movies and over 70 years relentlessly fighting his way back to bucky, just ended the line of his own volition???

and what about peggy? if we’re to believe he truly loved her, and also respected her as a person and was generally the embodiment of chivalry and also a good man, how are we supposed to believe that he interrupted her life? she was one of the few people he had after coming out of the ice; he knew she lived a full life without him and found a love of her own. he knew about all the accomplishments she and her whole ass HUSBAND had. how are we supposed to believe that the man who threw himself onto a grenade when he was still 90 pounds soaking wet could do something so selfish as to reinsert himself into peggy’s life, knowing she had built another?

also, once again: BUCKY. whether you think their relationship is romantic or purely platonic, they are undeniably soulmates and have spent lifetimes trying to find each other. and they are finally in a time where they can both heal and be happy and be together, in whatever capacity, and steve just threw that away? NO!!

mcu canon is dead to me; it’s been over 4 years and i am STILL ANGRY

#marvel #avengers: endgame #steve rogers #bucky barnes #mcu #stucky