#anyway this show is bonkers I'm laughing

[perlukafarinn]

I'm back with another unbearably homoerotic story from The New Voyages (this one even has a foreword written by Leonard Nimoy)!

The story in question is Ni Var, written by Claire Gabriel and published in the first New Voyages volume in 1976. In it, Spock is split in two - his human half and his Vulcan half. He and Kirk also have unnecessarily intense and emotionally loaded interactions pretty much every page. Just look at this passage that happens right after Spock is split:

The moment Kirk sees Spock, he knows something is wrong. They have an emotional talk that turns into an argument that turns into Kirk asking Spock what's wrong and if he can help.

It's the way Kirk reads Spock like an open book! How Spock finds comfort in Kirk's offer to help, even if he's not ready to accept it.

And just when you think it can't get any more intense, bam - City on the Edge of Forever callback!

Kirk is having an extremely normal one.

Anyway, Kirk finds out about the split soon enough because damned if Spock can keep a single secret from him once he's determined to find out.

We are distracted from the main plot, however, as the Enterprise is sent on a mission to a planet whose natives love the taste of human flesh. Of course, Kirk insists on joining the landing party but Spock is Not Having It.

They are having this fight in front of the crew. If the rumors didn't exist before, they certainly do now.

Spock loses the argument on account of Kirk being Captain and goes back to his quarters to discuss the issue with his Vulcan half.

This, the text points out, is the first thing Spock's two halves are in complete agreement on. Protecting Jim. I am banging my head against the wall.

Then Vulcan Spock goes on a mental tangent about humans and emotions and one human in particular, and this passage drives me bonkers.

"Until he met Jim Kirk."

"A man for whom he felt friendship, perhaps even what Humans call love."

Clawing my eyes out. The romanticism of it all. These are completely normal thoughts to have about your commanding officer!!

And then Spock decides to risk what he calls "for a Vulcan, torture" to ensure Kirk's safety. What this whole subplot is for is essentially to show that Spock's two halves can be united and the thing they unite over..... is Jim.

I am unwell.

Spock does manage to keep Kirk from throwing himself to the proverbial wolves, the plot moves on, and then they're back in front of the machine that split Spock and can be used to unite him again. Kirk has an angsty moment about that time he was split in two (the whole story, in addition to exploring Spock's split identity, is filled with callbacks to The Enemy Within and the toll that experience took on Kirk mentally and it's great).

This isn't a particularly Kirk/Spock moment but I had to include it because I love the mental image of Kirk flipping himself off and Spock laughing at it. Kirk would fuck his clone, actually.

Then the time is at hand to unite the two Spocks. Kirk puts a comforting hand on Human Spock's shoulder but then hesitates to do the same to the Vulcan half and this whole page has me crying, screaming, throwing up, etc.

God.

Spock is united, all is well, and the story ends with Kirk grinning at Spock and Spock responding with an oh-so-subtle smile.

In conclusion: gay.

#spirk #kirk/spock #k/s #the premise #star trek tos #start trek #the new voyages #again the star trek novels stay intensely homoerotic

[sleepytoycollection]

since I'm on the topic of Ken anyway I want everyone to know and/or remember that time mattel made a Ken themed reality show where a bunch of dudes competed to prove they were the best boyfriend material

Highlights of the series include:

Blast off. I still laugh when I remember it.

That time one challenge was about listening to women and none of the dudes were listening to the lady from mattel when she was talking to them.

Hookahs.

This whole production is so bonkers. Why did mattel make this? Who is the audience for this? I assume it's meant for adult collectors but why???

#ken #mattel #barbie #Youtube

[kennyomegasweave]

Playboyy Finale Reaction

I am just sitting in my bed staring off at my wall in utter silence.

Under the cut are my live thoughts during this finale and you can see me descend into insanity.

Oh poor Phop is in hella debt? Baby. 

FIRST, SOONG DOESN'T WANT TO BE YOUR SUGAR BABY. But also Soong. Baby. Just let yourself be a sugar baby. He's younger than you anyway. "I don't want to sit around and do nothing and still live an expensive life." Okay Soong that's admirable but like. Couldn't be me. 

Okay, if Nont and Prom think someone's gonna bust in the door, maybe don't stand in the doorway? Also. Yes Nont, finally get your dad involved. There's no need for your friends to be doing all this. Your dad is rich and connected.

"No one has issues with me like you do." Captain, my favorite boy, Puen isn't the one that's been an asshole here. I'm sorry though, are we gonna get Captain having some character growth in the last two episodes after being the absolute worst? Oh baby. 

TUTOR. SOONG. NO. First. Oh. He's really gonna fuck up his relationship over this huh. Goddammit First. Baby you can't just make appointments to beat up men sexually when you feel bad. That's not what we do love.

NUTH. My boy. NO.

Aww Nont is like this was not the fucking plan. Has a single plan of Nont's gone well? Because I don't think anything's gone like he wanted this entire show.  

Oh shit wait. Damn. Is Nuth gonna go down for Nant's murder now??? Holy shit. Can someone please go find Phop cause he is just sobbing alone in their shitty apartment.

Hey Keen! My love! Just sitting on the couch like you belong. Glad you're here to campaign for Nuth. That's my boy. My two boys.

I kinda feel like Nont should have brought Prom as backup for this scene. Cause everyone else has their man (except Porsche because Jump said he didn’t want to hang out with these losers I guess?) and he's just standing there like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️.

Well. My dear sweet mentally unwell child is in prison. So. I mean. I guess that's that. FOR FIVE YEARS??? HE'S GONNA DO FIVE YEARS??? OH MY FUCKING GOD. 

Jump and Porsche are cute. But Nuth is gonna be in prison for five years and Phop is a baby in hella debt and I'm just like.

I mean, lick that dick Porsche, but what does that mean to me right now. When Nuth is IN PRISON for FIVE YEARS. 

....is Phop OD'ing??? What in the fuck is going on??? Like is he really fucking dying right now??? Alone??? In his fucking bathroom while his man is in prison??? 

Welp. I think the baby just fucking OD'd alone in his bathroom while his man is in prison so like. When I tell you. There's 13 minutes left in this show and I'm done. I AM DONE.

At this point I am so angry that I'm not even reacting. Like. This show really just wanted to hurt my fucking feelings and did. Unless they do some surprise twist? I'm sick. This is SICK.

What the fuck is that painting??? Am I supposed to recognize who that is??? Cause Zouey's art is shit and I don't. What the fuck is going on here. I've long since realized I'm too dumb for the plot so like I just need someone to tell me if Phop is alive cause I don't think he is. And I need to know. I NEED TO KNOW.

I'M STILL ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS ABOUT PHOP BUT THEY JUST BUSTED OUT SOME BONKERS ASS SHIT WITH FIVE MINUTES LEFT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. 

Umm okay so it just ended??? I'm guessing they cliffhangered it for a second season? But these shows RARELY ever get a second season??? Oh this was an entire waste of my fucking time. I'm not even mad. I'm actually laughing. lol

WAIT IS THIS WHOLE THING NUTH'S SCREENPLAY??? DID PHOP KILL NANT??? What the shit is happening here??? Again, I'm not even mad now. I'm in awe of this. lol

Well, that certainly happened. Alright then. I don't even know what to say at this point.

#Playboyy #Playboyy the series #spoilers #*Owen Wilson voice* wow #I feel like Ashton's about to pop out of my pantry cause I am surely being punk'd #and please note this isn't hate #this is just sheer bafflement lol #regular clyde

[utilitycaster]

i've never had to 'curate my internet experience' with the speed i have today, blocking so many bad-faith takes on mercer and cr as a whole. When I saw one arguing cr fans shouldn't be surprised, because the 'big dog' is always hated, then actively compare CR to both the yankees and star wars in terms of size and vibe of the fans, i had to let it go. Apparently cr is made up 'wildly successful voice actors' like ah yes. the clout of the VO. Gonna silo myself for this damn show, too old for this!

Hey anon,

I completely support doing this if it's right for you but might I recommend laughing at the bad faith takes? Because here's the thing. The vast majority of what I've seen is from two specific places that are probably directly next to each other:

Former CR fans who are really mad that Beau got into a relationship with Yasha, and decided this meant Critical Role was homophobic, sexist, and racist for having an interracial lesbian relationship because [footage not found] and left for Dimension 20. Unfortunately, they forgot that Dimension 20, which had Matt in the very first sidequest as well as "Sidequest for which we need people who we know are talented, dependable and very comfortable with D&D Actual Play because it's our first remote filming", does not as an institution hate Matt Mercer in the slightest, and in fact likes him. Anyway they're throwing a hissy fit because in the end, this was always an extended hissy fit. Would you like some popcorn bc I personally prefer Chicago style with the mixed caramel and cheese.

Some absolutely bonkers tiny circle of people who are fixated on an unconfirmed ship between an NPC and the character she killed two decades before the narrative. Anyway they say they're mad because Matt isn't plugged into the fandom but the thing is most of the D20 fandom was also not plugged into this particular circle, which is but a speck of dust in an uncaring universe. So they're actually secretly DELIGHTED Matt is DM-ing because they can hide their entitlement behind the fact that they can call the DM of a very popular show an interloper, but they're also terrified because Brennan does still exist and is in fact playing the character most tied to the NPC in this ship, and like...if Matt contradicts their fanlore, that means Brennan did not confirm their fanlore, which means not only is it debunked now; it was never canon to the world in the first place. Which you'd think would be fine because fanlore has no need to be canon, right? It's fanwork! Go nuts! Except these people are kind of dumb.

Anyway for what it's worth I'm neither a Yankees nor Star Wars fan but also I acknowledge that most of the time when people are mad at the popular thing for being popular it really is kind of a "you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" sort of situation. They desperately want their thing to be the biggest fish in the pond except they'd also hate that. They are a big orange cat stuck in a cat flap and they're acting like it. And as with a big orange cat that doesn't belong to you stuck in a cat flap but ultimately unharmed and perfectly capable of getting out on its own, I recommend taking a picture of it and laughing about it on social media.

#answered #Anonymous

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

Hello Kitty Band-Aids~ // Dabi X Reader

Hi! I know what you're thinking, "LMAO Hello Kitty??? With Dabi??? Noooo, he's too badass for that!" Well, I'll have you know, only badasses roll with Hello Kitty! (≖ˇ3ˇ≖) Genuinely, this story started off with a whole different song as the inspiration, but it slowly shifted to this, and I could not be happier TBH! I CAME UP WITH AND WROTE THIS WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE IN ONE DAY. HOLY SHIT. I went absolutely bonkers for this. WOW, I guess I cannot contain the horniness I have for Dabi. I cannot believe how I came up with this, but I love how it turned out. I hope you enjoy reading! I am head-over-heels in love with stinky trash man Dabi (ᴖ◡ᴖ❀)💖

Reader Gender: Gender Neutral (They/Them)

Style of Story: Oneshot [Fluff!] // Originally, this was supposed to be an imagine. Short and sweet. Then it developed into this monstrosity because I can't control myself. Enjoy.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: Excessive swearing (I'm talking so much LOL especially during the spoken lines), blood, wounds, threats (mostly made by Dabi and mostly empty), falling in love with a villain because Dabi is TOO HOT, etc.

💖

.☆.・∴.・∵☆:・∵.:・☆.☆.。.:★ :・∵.:☆.。.:・:・∵.☆:*・∵.

💖

"Hello Kitty! Play with us today

We'll laugh and sing on this lovely sunny day

All your friends are waiting for you

Ready to run and play!"

The two of you "lovebirds" met on very strange terms; him running from the police, and you sitting at home, comfy on your couch. It was an otherwise peaceful night in the (Y/N) abode, when out of the god damn blue, this battered and bruised body comes crashing through your window one full moon night. You? Well, you were simply being a normal sane human being and watching a good movie on your night off, when this disaster occurred. The scream you bellowed rivaled that of a Banshee when he flew in, but he didn’t react the same. When this psycho's body hit the floor, he was knocked out cold. Even from all the way across the room on your safe couch, you could see the huge gash marks all across his body, as well as the spreading blood leaking through those marks and from his shirt. Though you didn't know of his affairs only minutes prior, he was most likely exhausted from running for so long with so much blood loss, found your place, and decided to crash (literally) there.

You stood off the couch and crept closer to his unconscious body, contemplating your options. You knew who he was. Who didn’t? He’d been all over the news with the recent events regarding his crimes against that pro-hero training high school, UA. His name didn’t immediately come to mind in the stress of the situation, but it didn’t matter. He was a villain. He was a bad man. You should kick him to the curb, or maybe straight to the police, and make sure he can never wreck your peaceful Saturday night ever again.

But…

He looked…awful. That's to say the least.

Blood dripped from his fresh wounds, scratches and gashes littered his flesh, staples that previously held his marred skin together had now popped out, making his skin stretch and droop. His hands were singed with burn marks, whether it was from his pursuers or from his own quirk, you weren't sure. Not to mention all the cuts and glass suck in his skin from the window he just burst through. And his face. His brows were scrunched up together even while he was asleep, he was in so much pain that he was unconsciously showing it. His mouth was pulled into a frown. Half-soft, half-burnt lips bruised and red with a sizable tear on his upper lip. And…well…damn, he has a strong jaw. Could cut metal with that thing.

WAIT, WHAT?! No no no no nooooo! Do not think that! He's not hot. He's not cute. You do not find a villain sexy. Shut up, brain.

Anyways, you wrestle with the idea for another minute until you glance at his blood seeping onto the floor and curse. Fuck! You're only renting this apartment, and you cannot afford to pay for the replacement of the hardwood flooring! Not in this god damn economy with your shitty landlord. So, for certainly no other reason than to keep his inky blood from soaking into the wood flooring (and definitely not because you felt a little bad for how bad of shape he was in, nor because he was just the slightest bit cute), you dragged his limp body into your bathroom to fix him up.

Now, you're no doctor, but you know some of the basics of healing people. You've slapped on your fair share of band-aids in your day. How much harder can sewing up lesions in skin be! Plus, YouTube is readily available!

Turns out, they're much harder to do properly than you gave credit for.

After a half hour or so, he was nearly put back together. Most of the blood he was profusely spewing earlier you'd either stopped from coming out or it had coagulated on its own. His minor scratches you covered up with gauze, though, you soon ran out and had to use the backup Hello Kitty band-aids to cover the rest. What? Hello Kitty is adorable! Your eight-year-old niece loves her, and it makes you smile at the fond memories they bring. One time about two years ago, she and her guardian came over to hang out for the day. She was being a cute kid and showing off to her "favorite adult" (a label you bragged, and still brag, about to her peeved guardian all the time) all the tricks she's learned on her scooter. She was doing great! Until she wasn't. She fumbled one of the moves and promptly fell to the ground, scraping her knee in the process. She wailed and cried, until you busted out one of the cute Hello Kitty band-aids, and made her day all better again! You'll never forget her beautiful, wide, gap-filled smile as she reiterated that you were her favorite person in the whole world.

Being reeled back to the present, you focused on the task at hand. The larger wounds on his body you tried your best to stitch together, and though they were a little wonky and crooked, you'd say you did a fine job. You cleaned all of his wounds with alcohol and other medicinal items to the best of your ability. Now, it was finally time to clean him up.

You'd previously hung up his coat after you'd settled him in the bathroom. You took the bloody shirt you'd stripped off him earlier to access the wounds on his chest (and you totally did not admire his chest or abs while you'd fixed up his body) and yours that was now covered in his blood, and threw them in the washer. You shimmed into a different clean shirt, and skated back to the bathroom. Running a washcloth under warm water, you bent down to clean his crusty face. Wiping down his face, you cleaned the soot and dirt off of him. You minded the piercings, staples, and burnt flesh of the lower half of his face and eyes as you went along. You stopped to gently dab his busted lip. You leaned back after a minute admiring your work, looking for any other specs of dirt or debris, and decided he was all set. You wanted to leave him there to rest, both because you didn't want to move him too much too soon and because he was heavy as shit, even though he was as thin as a toothpick. But as you thought about it more, you realized leaving a highly dangerous villain unsupervised in a place he doesn't know where he could easily get the upper hand and attack you wasn't the best decision. So, reluctantly, you dragged him back to the living room and plopped his deadweight body down onto your couch.

Looking at the mess he made to your window and to the floor when he busted his way in, you sighed. Guess there's still more work to be done.

💖

.☆.・∴.・∵☆:・∵.:・☆.☆.。.:★ :・∵.:☆.。.:・:・∵.☆:*・∵.

💖

Dabi blearily awoke to the sounds of metal gentle clanking together, and the smell of something absolutely delicious invading his senses. Maybe it was just because he was famished because, if he remembers correctly, the League's cooking never smelled quite as good as whatever was wafting in the air. Wait, correction, they've never cooked shit since he's been a part of the group. Hell, he doesn't think any of them actually know how to cook without burning the place to the ground (himself included).

So, who the hell- where the hell- ugh, fuck it. His brain's too scattered to form questions.

He groaned as he sat up to investigate. His head felt like shit. His body felt like shit. He couldn't focus. Fuck, maybe he got a concussion. Just add it to the list of his issues. He swears when he finds those god damn heroes and police, he's gonna tear them apart limb by-

"Oh, look at that, Sleeping Beauty's awake. 'Bout time."

He nearly jumps out of his stapled skin at the gentle voice coming from across the room. With wide eyes and palms raised to blast scorching fire at any moment, he looks at you. You're just as wide eyed as he is, staring him down from what seemed to be your kitchen. So, the divine smell was coming from your cooking.

He looked you up and down, deeming you not a threat by the lack of any weapon or notable powerful quirk aimed at him. You didn't seem to be a cop either. He broke eye contact with you to look around. Painted walls, nice flooring, pictures and paintings scattered around the place, good view of the city outside. He's in your house.

Interesting. That answers one of his questions; where he is.

Now to find out who the fuck are you, and how stupid you are to have not turned him over to the authorities.

He looks back at you, not saying a word as he stares into your eyes. You fidget under his gaze. Okay, skittish. Nervous. Probably not a hero, nor are you probably gonna put up a big fight against him.

"Um...hi? The name’s (Y/N)…,” you mumble, subtly urging him to return the favor of giving a name. Though, the asshole doesn't respond, only continuing to stare with a blank expression.

"Okaaaay...well, nice meeting you too. Thanks for bursting through my window earlier." you roll your eyes, but get back to focusing on the meal you were cooking. Ah. He forgot about that. He looked towards the window that he obviously smashed through, seeing as it was the only broken one of the group. He glanced at the majorly clean floor directly below it, aside from the large red stain left of the ground. Whoops. Well, that's not his problem.

His eyes drifted further, back to his body. He realized he was laying on something plush, bouncy. Your couch. It's...nice. Nice to feel like he got a good rest. As good of rest as you could get with your body fucked up and half dead even before the chase from earlier. Much nicer than the ratty bed at the hideout. He noticed then the blanket bunched up on his lap. Due to the way it was clumped, it must have been lying up on his chest before he sat up. You tucked him in with it while he was unconscious. Fuzzy, soft. Huh.

Finally, he looked at his body. Looking past the old burns, it was covered in gauze and stitches. Nothing looked professional, everything was sloppily wrapped and jaggedly sewn. He imagined he looked like a kindergartener's art project with the way he was crappily put together. Nonetheless, something pink and glittery caught his eye.

A band-aid. Wait, no. A whole arsenal of band-aids. All themed in...

Hello Kitty.

There were currently more Hello Kitty band-aids on his body than whatever was left of his normal skin.

He looked back at you with a dead-pan expression.

"Really? Hello Kitty???" were the first words he spoke.

"Ah, so he can speak," you smiled to yourself, "And, yes. Hello Kitty. Got a problem with her?"

"Nah," he scoffed, twisting his arms around to see more and more of the cheerful cat, "she just doesn't really fit my style, 'is all."

"Hm, that's good. 'Cause I was gonna throw hands if you disrespected her." you joked, stirring whatever you were cooking in the pot. He huffed out a tiny laugh at your words.

While he sat calmly on the couch as if he owned this whole goddamn apartment complex, inspecting himself, you were not so calm on the other hand. HOLY SHIT. A VILLAIN IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR HOUSE AND IS MAKING SMALL TALK WITH YOU! While you were still quaking in your fuzzy night slippers, you tried to look on the bright side. At least he didn't immediately burn you to a pile of ash when he woke up like you half expected him to do.

"There's some painkillers on the nightstand next to you. I'd advise you to take them if you want to relieve the pain from your wounds a little bit. Or I think I have some antibiotic ointment somewhere around here that you can rub on them, if you'd prefer." you called to him as you spun around the stove and oven. He saw a few of the pills sitting patiently there, as well as the glass of water you'd left for him. Hm. What a dutiful nurse. He took the pills, tossed them back into his mouth, grabbed the water, and swigged it.

It was then he realized that he was both shirtless and coatless.

He looked back at the nightstand and noticed that his shirt, now stunningly clean with not a splotch of blood to be found, was folded neat and proper right there. As if it was waiting for him. Dabi looked around for his jacket, seeing it hanging up on the coat rack by your front door. A devious remark formed on his tongue as a wicked grin settled on his stupidly handsome face.

"Wow, sweetheart~," he began, slowly standing up so as to not open any of the stitching you'd so carefully given him, "using a poor, helpless man down on his luck in his sleep is really beneath you. I was starting to think you were a better person than that~," he teased, watching your eyes grow wide and your mouth open and close like a gasping fish, trying to find words that escaped you. Cute.

"Oh- shut up, you," you felt an embarrassed heat rise to your face even though the words that swiftly shot out of your mouth reeked of confidence, "I-I...I only took off your clothes to reach your injuries!"

"Uh-huh, suuuuure~," he prodded further, sliding on his coat, and moving back to the couch to rest, "and I wasn't bleeding out on your floor a bit ago." You huffed in defeat, not wanting to battle him on a rumor you knew he knew wasn't true.

"Speaking of which," he grunted as he sat down, "how long's it been since I oh-so gracefully entered your home?"

"Only a few hours. Three, or so." you answered. His response was simply a groan of acknowledgement. The conversation died for a minute, until you continued.

"Sorry I don't have any staples to replace the ones you lost. If I had some, I would have tried to construct you back together, Frankenstein's Monster. Though, I'd doubt you'd want me to put them in for you anyways." you piped up.

He side-eyed you and said in a monotone voice, "Oh, I get it. Ha ha. Very funny. Haven't heard that one before," he sassed. He continued, this time with a tone of sincerity, "S fine. I lose these fuckers all the time. Got more back at my place," he ended it there. You chose to follow his lead. Silence filled the room yet again, nothing but the clanking of the pots and pans filling the thick air.

In those few minutes you had to think, you came to a conclusion. As charming of company as he is, he can't stay here. It's too risky. Too risky for your safety, too risky for the other tenants, and too risky for the building. If someone other than you saw him flouncing around your apartment like he comes over every other day, things would not end well for either of you. You're a good person, and you don't want society to deem you a bad one just because you helped someone who was shunned by the masses. It's not right, but sadly, it's the way that it is.

"You eat. Then, you're gone." you decided to finally cut the stale tension. You held your breath, waiting for his response.

"Damn, kicking me out so soon? And here I thought we were having a good heart-to-heart," he shifted his body on the couch to face you, donning a crooked smirk on his face. Oh. A smirk. A smirk is better than anger, or, even worse, indifference. At least you know you're entertaining the criminal rather than pissing him off.

"Hey, you can't blame me," you turned to face him with your arms crossed, "I don't want the cops hanging around here. Who knows what would happen if someone figured out I helped and housed a...less than savory individual." You chose to mutter that last part to yourself under your breath. You might think he's okay so far, but many others in higher positions of power than yourself would disagree.

"So, you know." He stood from the couch. It startled you; the way he could switch his emotions from 0-100 in milliseconds. One minute ago, you two were laughing about a stupid printed band-aid, and now you're scared you pushed too many buttons too quickly.

Your hands shook, and you dropped the cooking utensil in your hand, "K...Know what?" He snaked across the room with no hesitation or issue, like the spacious distance he covered so quickly was nothing to him. You wanted to not back down, to not show any fear like him, but it was impossible with this large of a threat coming so close to you. You inched back as he breached the kitchen.

At that moment when he stood like an impenetrable wall directly in front of you, when he lowered his face to look directly in your eyes, when his own lips were only a few inches from your trembling ones; his name finally came to mind

Dabi.

"You know I'm a villain...," Dabi finally whispered. His breath was laced with the overwhelming scent of cigarette smoke and some kind of strong whiskey. A combo that wasn't exactly pleasant like fresh roses, but who needs roses when it shook you down to your core (scared horny). BUT GOD DAMMIT, THAT SHOULDN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW!!! Why is it that even when you're stuck in this very vulnerable position with this highly dangerous criminal, you can't get your mind out of the filthy gutter?!?!?!

"Y...Yes?" you wanted your words to be strong and unwavering, impress Dabi with your bravery, but they were meek and hooked up at the end to form a question more than anything.

"So," he suddenly wrapped his powerful arm around your waist and walked you back to the nearest wall. You yelped at the intrusion of your space, and again when his other arm caged you into the space as he leaned his hand against the wall, "why?"

"Why what?!" you squeak out to him, lightly pushing your hands against his hard chest in an extremely weak effort to get him to back off. Please move away, powerful and sexy man, before you melted into a puddle of goo and made a fool of yourself.

"Why would a sweet, innocent civilian help the big, bad villain?" he finished. You were stumped at his question as you too had been debating it in your head for the last few hours. Why? Why did you heal him? Why did you give him shelter? Why did you protect his whereabouts from the police and heroes? Why were you cooking him food!? WHY?!

You took a deep breath, shook off whatever nerves you could as fast as you could, and looked him dead in the eye, "I saved you because I saw not a villain, not a wanted man, but a person bleeding out on my floor. A person in need of help. If I didn't help you, how could I call myself a decent person after idly standing by as someone dies on my watch?"

Saved. That word caught Dabi's eye. You think you didn't just help him, rather, you saved his life.

Hm.

Oh, this could be fun~!

After letting your words have a chance to hang in the air for a moment, Dabi's face curled up into a sinister grin. Which made yours instantly fall. Shit. You fucked up. He didn't like your answer. You're screwed. Goodbye, world. Goodbye, Hello Kitty. It was nice to see your happy face before burning to death.

"I see, little hero~," he teased, leaning back and taking a step away from you. He was still cornering you, but he'd at least given you some space to breathe properly. You took a few more shaky breaths to calm your nerves, not fully dropping your guard in case he was simply torturing his prey before enacting the kill.

"How brave of you to care for the dastardly villain. Heh." Dabi chuckled to himself. He turned around, and sauntered off to the living room. You didn't pursue him, you couldn't even if you wanted to with how similar to Jell-O your legs were as they had begun to wobble. As to not fall flat onto your face, you slid down the wall, and planted your butt onto the ground. Dabi fixed his coat, and stalked off to the broken window.

As he bent his leg up and took one step out of the window, he looked back at you. He looked ethereal, practically glowing in the moon's beams that shined through the city. His turquoise eyes bore into your soul, as if marking it with their own special burn as a parting gift. You couldn't forget those eyes, not after seeing the hope in them. How extravagantly his emotions swirled in them.

He spoke in a rumbling voice, "Not gonna say goodbye because this isn't one. You're something. Definitely something. I like things that catch my eye. And you...you certainly have. But be wary of who you expend that kind heart of yours to. I went easy on you this time, but there are plenty of people in my line of work who aren't willing to give civilians like you a chance. Can't have my newest interest be clipped so soon~," he smirked at you.

"See you later, little hero," Dabi called.

Before he could climb fully out of the window and off to who the hell knows where, you found your words and snarkily yelled, "You're welcome anytime, Dabi! Though, maybe next time don't come barreling in and breaking stuff. The front door works just fine. If you hurt yourself, I'll just have to stick more cute band-aids on you!"

He paused at the name drop, looking back at you with shock. But the shock quickly faded as a grin took its place. He let out a genuine laugh this time. One that made your heart flutter.

"I'll think about it, (Y/N)~," he winked. And with that, he turned around and sped off on the fire escape.

You watched the window, heart still jumping in your throat at his words. You eventually let out a small sigh, "Bonding with a villain over Hello Kitty band-aids...what exactly has my life come to?" You continued to mindlessly stare at where the dashing man had so quickly entered and left your life. Slowly, your mind became less foggy, and you only now noticed a pile of something on the ground. It lay near the spot on the couch where Dabi sat not long ago. Curious, you walked over to it. Bending your knees, you grab one of the items, and throw your head back in frustration.

A small pile of Hello Kitty band-aids had been dumped unceremoniously on the rug.

You growled, "Pussy. How wasteful! I put them on so carefully too...oh, well, I guess." you scooped up the pile and waltzed over to the trash can in your kitchen.

"Sorry, Hello Kitty," you apologized to the inanimate objects as you threw them in the trash, "he's just not used to the 'bad bitch' lifestyle."

You looked over at the abandoned food on the stove. Black curling smoke was rising from all of the pots and from the stove, an image that made your vocabulary lit up with curses, "GOD DAMN FUCKING HELL!!!!! DABI, YOU SLEEZY FUCK!!! YOU MADE ME BURN MY FUCKING FOOD!"

💖

.☆.��∴.・∵☆:・∵.:・☆.☆.。.:★ :・∵.:☆.。.:・:・∵.☆:*・∵.

💖

A few floors above your apartment, Dabi sat idly on the rooftop. He gazed wordlessly upon the colorful city, smoking a cigarette placed between two of his fingers. Though, the stick was harder to grip than normal due to a lone Hello Kitty band-aid clinging to his pointer finger. Noticing the cutesy wrapping, he scoffed.

Snuffing out the cigarette, Dabi brought his finger closer and twisted it around, watching it glitter in the moonlight. He moved to rip it off, wanting for it to fall the same fate as the countless others he'd removed in your apartment, but something stopped him. He brushed his opposite hand's thumb against the protective paper as if he was mesmerized. It made him think of your touch, your laugh, your smile. How you had so much care to give to the world that you would spend your time saving a ruthless bum like him from Death's doorstep. You're too good for this lousy, undeserving world.

He thinks back to the ideology of Stain, the blueprint he follows so closely in his methods of destruction. In his master's very own description, your traits all point to that of a true hero. One of the rare few this world truly has left. Someone who does things not just for their own benefit, not for money, not for fame, but because they genuinely want to help others. They genuinely want to help this world thrive. Too bad you were a nobody civilian. And too bad he was a...

"Tch," he shook his head at his own disgustingly mushy thought. Sappy bullshit. Damn, what the hell had you done to him? Maybe that was your quirk. Effect his emotions and shit like that. However you managed to dig those up out of their graves, he'll never know. But even he has to admit, it felt...sorta...good to be cared for.

"Guess the nickname fits you after all, little hero~," he mumbled to himself and the moon.

He knows he shouldn’t be so weak for a nobody who he met completely by accident only a few hours ago. He’s got goals, goals that mean more than risking it all for some dumbass who saved his skin once. But he forgot what real kindness felt like after living so long in a world of darkness and constant backstabbing chaos. He missed those conversations. He missed the days in the sun. He missed being treated like a person and not like a weapon or a maniac. He missed...ugh, whatever.

Whenever the soonest date he can see you again comes, he'll be there.

"Hello hello kitty! Hello dear friend 

Your smile's pretty like a flower that's in bloom 

Love is in your heart and things are happy too 

Hello hello kitty! Play with us today!"

💖

.☆.・∴.・∵☆:・∵.:・☆.☆.。.:★ :・∵.:☆.。.:・:・∵.☆:*・∵.

💖

Well, damn. (ﾟ Дﾟ ;) This ended up much longer than I intended it to be! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ∩´﹏`∩ﾟ)ﾟ｡ BUT OH WELL, I GUESS! Hope you enjoyed my filthy brain ideas!

Song: "Hello Kitty and Friends - Intro Theme" // Lyrics found on: Theme Song

{I did not make Hello Kitty, nor do I own her. I did not make this song, nor do I take credit for it. These items listed belong to the original creators.}

#I am crazy #I went bonkers for this #SICKO MODE #Anything for Dabi #I am a simple creature #I see sexy depressed villain #I simp #anime #manga #MHA #BNHA #x reader #MHA x reader #BNHA x reader #dabi #touya todoroki #dabi x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #cute #crusty burnt toast man

[squishosaur]

TUMBLR IS MEAN AND DOESNT SHOW ME YOUR POSTS anyway hi :3

hi sneky i miss you & love you a lot i am so sorry it's mean to you i'm exploding it with my mind as we speak... um anyway here's this bonkers joke fnaf yuri anime but meta au i made after my bio test today. everyone laughed (even the ones who hate anime) & i thought you specifically would get Something out of it 🙃💞

#then i was like 'tag yourself lol' AND EVERYONE SAID BONNIE 💀 #anyway this one is an ode to former fnaf gachatubers (derogative but understanding) everywhere ✌️ #askbox! #chatter #snek tag 🐙

[0shewrites0]

A BITE OF YOUR LOVE

S4 | Youcef x MC | 3.800+ words | @0shewrites0

synopsis | Having a vampire as a boyfriend is nice until it gets serious. Until he declares that he would kill for you because that's how much he loves you. Until you - as a human - have to make a decision: to cling to your human life and let your supernatural true love go, or to plunge head-first into a new adventure and turn into a vampire.

Davina knows she loves Youcef, but does she love him enough to let him turn her into a vampire?

genre | AU - vampire. romance. light angst. angst/comfort. fluff & smut. happy ending (kinda).

pairing | vampire!youcef x human!davina

prompt | monthly prompt competition from r/LITGFanFiction on Reddit

author’s note | Thank you so much to my queenie @luckyqueenreign for beta reading and helping me with this!! ❤️

Important vocabulary:

ma belle = my beautiful / my lovely

Putain, t’es trop sexy = You’re so fucking hot

Bon sang = Damn it

Read here or on ao3

"Hi, so, newsflash - vampires are real. They're not just some mythical creatures, they're here. In our town. I mean, I need to know because one of them is sleeping in my bed." Davina giggled furiously and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, "Even if I told someone, they would just laugh at me. No one would believe me because why should they?"

Youcef took a step closer and stroked her cheekbone with his thumb, "They don't have to believe you, amour. Doesn't make us any less real."

Smirking, he leaned closer to her and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, then murmured, "Besides, it's probably better if it's our secret anyway. I wouldn't want any of your friends or - God forbid! - any of your family to freak out unnecessarily, would I?"

Davina giggled again, "Depends. Are you a threat to me? Because if so, I might have to tell them about you."

Youcef raised an eyebrow and clicked his tongue, "And what would be the point? If I wanted you dead, you'd already be dead. But I guess today is your lucky day, isn't it?"

She bit her lip, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his, "Make it a lucky night and I'm all yours."

He chuckled and murmured against her lips, "Oh, but you've always been mine. Ever since you gave me your blood, ma belle."

She blushed and pulled back, "God, you're such a bad influence, babe. We need to get ready for my high school’s Halloween ball!"

Youcef shrugged nonchalantly and nodded, "I'll pick you up at nine sharp. Make sure you're ready!" He gave her a pointed look that let Davina know he was serious, then turned and strutted away.

Sighing, Davina went to her room and started getting ready for this year's Halloween party.

Of course, Youcef and she had decided to go as vampires. He didn't even have to come up with a proper costume because he was literally a vampire, but Davina had to put in a bit more effort, starting with the fangs and the red contact lenses. She curled her dark brown hair and applied a dark eyeshadow to her eyelids, a delicate stroke of black eyeliner and a few generous coats of mascara. She drenched her lips in a dark red lipstick, deliberately smudging some of it around the edges and expertly dripping fake blood down her chin.

Damn, I look hot as a vampire…

Davina winked at her reflection and then slipped into her costume, which consisted of a tight, black, strapless silk corset dress, leather overknees and long, elbow-length satin gloves. She knew Youcef would go absolutely bonkers as soon as he saw her, and she was looking forward to it.

When he finally picked her up, he almost started drooling. Faster than Davina could blink, he had her pressed against the wall, his face so close to hers that she had trouble breathing. His eyes darkened and turned red, the delicate veins under his eyes began to show, and she could see the light reflecting off his pristine white fangs.

With one hand he pushed her hair over her shoulder and leaned forward, his hot breath caressing her skin and the tip of his fangs grazing her throat as he ran his nose along her neck.

"Putain, t’es trop sexy," he growled in his throat, then grinned devilishly. "And I can hear your heart hammering in your chest. What's wrong? Are you afraid of me?"

Davina's cheeks flushed and she shook her head hesitantly, "Would now be a bad moment to admit that seeing you like this,” she gestured at his face, “fucking turns me on?"

Something flashed in Youcef's eyes and she held her breath in anticipation of feeling his teeth sink into her flesh, but he took a step back and murmured, "Yeah, I'd say that was a pretty bad moment."

She watched him suck in a deep breath and shake his head sharply, but then he nodded and held out his arm to her, "Let's just get through this night. But I want you to know that I can't wait to get back home, amour. You don't get to just say something like that and assume I won't do anything about it."

He winked at her and she blushed even more, but she put her arm through Youcef’s and let him walk her to her high school where the annual Halloween ball would be held.

Every now and then Davina glanced at Youcef and bit her lip as shivers of pleasure ran down her spine and made her abdomen tingle in anticipation of what he would do to her when they were back in her room later that night.

He was wearing tight black trousers, a black shirt that was only half buttoned, showing off his well-toned physique and gloriously pale skin, and a dark red blazer. As always, he wore heavy silver rings on his fingers, bracelets on his wrists and several necklaces around his neck, making him by far the most attractive man she had ever met.

But that wasn't really hard to achieve either, because after all, it was Youcef. What else had she expected?

"Do you like my outfit?" he snapped her out of her thoughts and grinned smugly.

She shrugged and replied, "Yeah, you look hot. But you don't need me to tell you that, do you?"

He laughed. "Yes, I do. You're my girlfriend, your opinion is important to me."

"You're fishing for compliments, love," Davina rolled her eyes, "and I'm not falling for that. You're going to have to manipulate me into stroking that huge ego of yours."

"And that's exactly why I love you, you sassy little minx." He pressed a kiss to her cheek as they entered the school gym, now transformed into a spooky mess.

Huge cobwebs hung from the ceiling, carved pumpkins glowed in the darkness and loud, pulsating music echoed through the hall. Artificial fog billowed on the floor and the red, flickering and stroboscopic light of the spotlights bathed the hall in an eerie ambience.

Davina was quivering with excitement and tugged on Youcef's hand, "Come on! This is going to be so much fun!" She rushed towards the dance floor, pulling her boyfriend along with her, who chuckled softly.

"Dance with me!" she shouted over the loud music, and Youcef's face contorted briefly. He leaned forward, his mouth hovering next to her ear, and growled, "No need to shout like that, I can hear you perfectly."

Without giving her time to say anything back, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and pressed her against his body, enjoying the way her breath hitched and her eyelids fluttered.

All around them, people in various costumes danced the night away, getting drunk on the free booze. Davina kept an inconspicuous lookout for her friends but couldn't make them out in the mass of teenagers grinding against each other, the smell of sweat engulfing her.

But she didn't mind. She felt so alive at that moment, especially considering the way Youcef's hands were practically burning through the fabric and into her skin.

"You know," she began, careful to keep her voice down, "in the tales they used to say vampires were the kiss of death itself. Cold, bony, their skin unnaturally grey, but you seem perfectly normal. Like a normal living human."

Youcef chuckled and leaned towards her again so she could hear him over the noise, "You shouldn't believe everything in those myths. Most of it is bullshit anyway."

She laughed and wanted to slap him, but he grabbed her wrist before she could even touch him.

"I'm faster, remember?" he hissed and winked at her, to which she shrugged and replied, "Maybe I'm just testing your reactions because I think it's really hot?"

She could hear him inhale sharply, and then he growled, "Someone's feisty tonight, huh? Careful, ma belle, you know I have a hard time controlling myself around you."

Davina bit her lip gently and looked at him, doe-eyed and as innocent as possible. "Maybe I don't want you to control yourself around me tonight?"

No sooner had the words left her mouth than his eyes darkened dangerously again and he asked in a hoarse voice, "You want me to drink from you? Here?"

"I mean, it's not like people are paying attention anyway, right? Might as well take advantage of it," she winked at him and he shook his head.

"Bon sang, Davina," he cursed softly and she felt her heart beat faster as she saw the familiar veins bulging under his eyes.

She slowly removed one of her long gloves, raised her hand to his face and presented her bare wrist, which she knew he had a hard time resisting.

Then she hissed, "Bite me," and the next moment she felt his fangs burying themselves into her skin. She moaned in pleasure, knowing no one would hear her.

Fuck, it was turning her on so bad.

Feeling the pain of his bite surge through her sent her into a kind of ecstasy she couldn't get enough of. Especially because she loved watching him pull back, his tongue running over his lips to taste the last drops of her blood, his features becoming human again and then moaning, "God, you taste heavenly," his voice full of hunger and lust.

Eventually, she put her glove back on, reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him down to her and locked his mouth in a deep, passionate kiss.

She knew she had withdrawn from her friends ever since Youcef had come into her life, but it was almost as if he had cast a spell on her. She couldn't get away from him, she was addicted to his touch, his taste, and she felt like she was losing her mind if she couldn't be near him.

Was it toxic? Maybe. But what did you call it when there was a supernatural involved in the equation and not just mere humans?

Youcef wasn't just some college student boyfriend. The attraction she felt for him was supernaturally charged, and that changed a lot of things - at least on her part. And her friends hadn't even come by to check on her. None of them liked Youcef and they all blamed it on his sarcastic, arrogant manner, but Davina could only laugh at that.

If only they knew!

"I'll get us something to drink, okay? Don't move." Her boyfriend reluctantly loosened his grip around her waist and pulled away, then - with a reassuring nod from her - made his way to the bar.

He had barely disappeared when she heard Dylan's voice behind her. "Well, hello, beautiful! Where's your protective boyfriend?"

She turned and shot him a glare. Dylan was dressed as a devil and Davina almost burst out laughing.

Of fucking course he’d choose the devil, oh Lord!

She put on her sweetest smile and replied, "He just left to get us something to drink. But you knew that, didn't you? You would never have approached me if he was here."

He threw his head back and laughed, "You really think I'm afraid of him? Of that pretty boy? That's ridiculous. I'm disappointed you would even think that."

Davina rolled her eyes - Dylan, that arrogant bastard who thought he could have anything and anyone he wanted. Well, he hadn't expected Davina to publicly reject him, damaging his ego. When she had started dating Youcef instead, Dylan hadn't been able to let a day go by without pestering her in some way. Especially when he knew Youcef wasn't around.

He didn't know, of course, that even now, when Youcef was several feet away from her and a crowd of clueless teenagers was between them, he could hear what was going on around her if only he wanted to.

And a wicked grin spread across Davina's face, knowing that he would most definitely overhear their friendly conversation.

She shifted her gaze to Dylan and leered at him, "How many times do you want me to turn you down before you realise that I will never agree to go on a date with you?"

He winced and his eyes narrowed in anger, but he quickly regained his composure, took a step towards her and hissed, "You'll regret getting stuck with that pathetic Frenchman and then, when it's too late, you'll come crawling to me. You'll see."

She chuckled in amusement and raised an eyebrow, "Another empty threat? Oh Dylan, when are you going to learn that you better not mess with me?"

His jaw clenched and he wrapped the fingers of his right hand around her wrist, tightening his grip painfully, and growled, "You better not mess with me, love."

His fingers dug into Davina's skin and she contorted her face in pain and gritted her teeth, "Let go of me and don't ever call me love again, asshole!"

Dylan just laughed and moved his face so close to hers that she felt his breath, reeking of alcohol, on her face and an unpleasant shiver crept over her body.

A sudden movement caught her attention and Davina felt herself relax instantly when she saw Youcef standing behind Dylan. His whole body was rigid, ready to snap Dylan's neck, and his jaw was clenched tight.

"Let her go right now," he growled, but Dylan ignored him.

"Oooh, love, your pretty boy has come to rescue you, hasn't he?"

The next moment Youcef had his hand wrapped around Dylan's neck, squeezing his fingers together, and his eyes darkened, crimson flashing in his normally hazel eyes.

"Do I have to make you let her go?" He growled, and for a moment it seemed as if time had stopped. Youcef's eyes were full of rage and Davina knew he would have no problem actually killing him. Somehow she knew that everything depended on what else would come out of Dylan's big mouth. But as much as she hated Dylan, she couldn't let that happen. Not in a room full of people.

"Youcef, stop it!" She hissed, willing him to look at her, and when he finally did - very reluctantly - she added, "I know what you're thinking, but don't. Please."

Youcef scoffed angrily, then whirled Dylan around and stared him straight in the eye, forcing him to hold his gaze. A moment later he let go of him and Dylan left the hall as if nothing had happened.

Youcef took a step towards Davina and hugged her to him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and whispering in her ear, "You know that happens when that pretentious moron can't keep his filthy hands to himself."

Davina shuddered and at the same time felt her pulse quicken. She lifted her head and pressed her lips to Youcef's. "I love how protective you are of me, but I never said you should kill for me, babe."

He chuckled darkly, "See, but that's where you're wrong. I would definitely kill for you without so much as blinking an eye if it meant I could protect you."

She thumped his chest in exasperation and rolled her eyes, but he leaned forward and muttered, "You can roll your eyes all you want, but it turns you on and you know it."

At that Davina gasped and her cheeks flushed. "Stop it, Youcef, you're impossible."

Youcef just shrugged and pulled her close again, resting his chin on top of her head. But Davina was more than ready to leave this party and go home instead, so she whispered, "Let's go, shall we? I've had enough of this boring party."

He looked down at her and grinned slyly, "Well, that’s my girl. Can't say no to that, can I?"

He winked at her and then led her out of the hall back outside into the night, where the cool air immediately made Davina shiver and she wrapped her arms around herself. Youcef casually slipped out of his blazer and draped it over her shoulders.

"Better?"

When she nodded her thanks and smiled up at him, he grinned and took her hand. "Let's go then."

They continued to walk in silence, each indulging in their own thoughts, until Davina interrupted it.

"Have you ever thought about what it would be like if you turned me?" she asked softly.

At first he didn't respond and just kept walking beside her, but then he said, "Of course I have. Why do you ask?"

She shrugged her shoulders anxiously. "I dunno. It's just something I've been thinking about a lot lately." She blushed and he noticed but didn't comment.

"How come?"

"I'm just afraid of losing you and I know the day will come when I have to say goodbye to you."

Her voice sounded thin and brittle as she said it, and he squeezed her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers, and murmured, "Is this your way of telling me you love me?"

Davina gasped and narrowed her eyes, "You know I love you."

Youcef laughed, "Yes, but it's always nice when you say it." He looked at her and lowered his voice, then added, "Don't think I haven't noticed you pulling away from me lately. You used to say it back every time I told you I loved you."

She winced and tried to pull her hand out of his grip, but he tightened his hold. "Ah non, you won't. See? That's exactly what I mean... Talk to me, please."

"I already told you."

He clicked his tongue and stopped walking, then turned to her and lifted her chin, "You know I could manipulate you into telling me what you really think. But I don't want to do that. So please talk to me."

Davina knew he would so easily be able to suck it out of her mind, and maybe then she wouldn't have to say it?

But no, she knew she had to say it out loud. She just didn't think this would be the day, but then again, she had started talking about it, so she only had herself to blame.

So she sighed deeply, "I don't want to let you go, but I know I'll have to eventually because you can't stay with me forever. I'll..." she gulped, "I'll get old and people will start asking questions." Her lower lip began to tremble, so she bit down on it and added in a husky voice, "But I don't know if I'm ready to give up my human life yet either."

With his hand still cupping her chin, Youcef pulled her close and kissed her gently, sending a sweet tingle down her spine.

As he pulled away, he murmured, "You have to want it yourself. You can't give up your life for me. Eternity is a hell of a long time, my love."

Tears filled her eyes and she stared up at him, "And what if I choose not to?"

His eyes twitched slightly at the corners, but otherwise they were almost blank, devoid of any of the thoughts running through his head or the emotions coursing through his veins. "It would break my heart. But I would never force you into it."

She shook her head, a single tear rolling down her cheek, and he gently wiped it away, his thumb lingering on her cheekbone.

"I don't want to break your heart."

"Amour, that's a risk I'm willing to take if it means I get to spend my time with you, however long or short it may be." He gave her a crooked smile that elicited a quiet sob, and impulsively she pressed her lips to his to keep from crying.

"I love you," she whispered in the brief pauses to catch her breath before she captured his lips in more long, deep kisses.

Finally, he gently pushed her away from him and sighed, "You can't even begin to imagine how much I love you, ma belle." He took her face in both hands and looked directly into her eyes, "You know that as a vampire all my senses are heightened, all my emotions are intensified. I love you so much that I would sacrifice eternity to be with you and that is..."

She interrupted him softly, "...and that's saying something, knowing how much you love being a vampire. Oh my God, Youcef."

He just nodded and she felt herself melt in his hands as he breathed, "God, I need you so much right now, Davina."

Choking on her own feelings, she whispered, "I need you too. Take me home with you, please."

______________________

As soon as Youcef had closed the door shut behind him, they tore each other's clothes off. His fingertips dancing over her skin with the grace of a pianist, setting her body on fire, his desirous open-mouthed kisses made her head spin and her vision blur because all she smelled, felt and tasted was Youcef and his all-consuming love for her.

Their lips colliding was like throwing a lit match into a petrol can - they exploded in burning flames and desperate desire.

He kissed and sucked and teased at every inch of her skin, devouring her and worshipping her at the same time with respect and adoration engraved in his every touch.

Davina writhed beneath him, demanding that he complete her, that she feel whole as she begged him to claim her again and again. But as soon as he buried himself inside her, the flames faded, and what was left was raw, pure love.

This time it was different. Perhaps because they both knew she would have to make a decision at some point. His thrusts were slow and measured, but no less deep and full of power.

Sometimes he let himself get so carried away, get so lost in the merging of their bodies, that he forgot she was still human. That she would never get used to his power and speed unless he turned her.

And when he sent her over the edge and exploded in ecstasy right there with her and she felt him bottom out inside her and moan her name - in those moments she was so close to blurting it out.

That she wanted him to turn her.

But it was also those moments when she was clearly not thinking with her head. Only with her body. And with her heart. And that told her now that she knew she would give anything to spend eternity with him.

But she wasn't ready to tell him yet. Maybe it was the uncertainty, maybe it was the fear of losing control of her life.

Hell, maybe it was even the fear of death, she didn't know.

All she knew was that she needed him, just like he needed her. And that she would probably need him forever.

Forever in a world where forever actually existed. In a world where forever wasn't just an empty promise.

"I'll love you forever," she whispered, their bodies still entwined, both panting and sweating, his pupils so wide his eyes were all black, the hazel irises disappearing, and she swore she caught his eyes glistening over for a moment before he whispered back, "For all of eternity."

#litg #litg fanfic #litg ff #ao3 fanfic #litg s4 #litg bombshell #litg youcef #litg youcef x mc #youcef!vampire #alternate universe #vampire #vampire x human #litg light angst #litg fluff #litg romance

[thegeminisage]

tng update time. last night we watched "datalore" together and this morning i caught "angel one" on my own

datalore: not terrible!! i felt really bad for data the entire time of course. kind of delighted to find out he is amnesiac-adjacent in this episode, at least as far as not knowing where he comes from or why. i've gotten used to thinking of him as friend-shaped but lore reminded me of just how creepy he actually does look because he was making the creepy faces

the planet and lab were cool though it was hilarious that one of the pieces was just an ass with the crotch faced away from us to protect data's modesty lol

i liked the bit about data having an off switch.it is ironically such a human vulnerability. we have those too! it's called head trauma.

ik what i said about picard not being a dick anymore but i noticed he IS still a dick sometimes and it's mostly to either wesley (valid) or data (may he DIE). i was glad data told him not to call lore "it" and that he APOLOGIZED. he should apologize to data more often

lore is literally just a data who is better at masking btw. like thats all it is. he thinks using contractions makes him allistic and he's like ha ha look at me i'm better than you meanwhile he has to use a little laser to remove his own facial tick and his special interest is murdering humans and good for him

one thing i HATED about this ep was once again wesley made a valid point and everyone told him to fuck off. meanwhile whenever hes fucking around they let him do whatever he wants. this is making me CRRRAZY. all this stuff about you would have listened to me if i was an adult!! i'll kill the little brat myself

however the episode was immediately rescued by the appearance of this meme:

which sent me immediately into screaming hysterics because i was NOT expecting to see it in its original format here. i quite literally had to pause the episode and explain this meme to catherine with tears running down my face

angel one: not as bad as the skip/watch lists led me to believe (i didnt have to play it on 2x speed for example) but still pretty fucking terrible. oh what if WOMEN were in charge wouldnt that be WEIRD AND SCARY? meanwhile the women are wearing what pretends to be "no makeup" in 1987 and theyre super fucking hot

i thought that blonde chick was rthe one from tos's backdoor pilot and even looked it up but no she just moves her face the same way

riker's slut outfit really was something. he was such a good sport about it that i thought it was kind of mean of deanna and tasha to laugh at him but considering how women are treated on this show they deserve to actually. tasha especially.

absolutely bonkers that he tried to turn the head woman down and she slept with him anyway. close encounters of the space babes riker version??? quite literally the man said i'm not an object to be seduced and then he got seduced. wild

anyway, the morals of this were all over the place. they cant remove these people bc theyre not bound by the prime directive but they literally are interfering with this planet's system of laws etc...also the fact that like everyone is arguing for gender equality when the genders are reversed is all well and good when they live in a utopian society where genders are equal but we live and star trek was made in the real world where the genders are NOT equal so it just comes out sounding like but what about the meeeeen?? i mean. what about them?? sorry.

i. HATED. the b-plot of this episode. everyone's like oh no i wonder how this virus spreads! and then they allow worf to stay on the bridge while he does those dad sneezes. maybe this episode should have been before the other to explain data's sudden hyperfixation on learning to sneeze lol. like ik all infectious disease media hits different post pandemic but jesus christ we had more sense than that even BEFORE the pandemic

tonight we do 11001001, and then i'm doing the next FOUR on my own...rough.

#personal #tng lb #star trek blogging #ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE KIND OF DEATH YOU'VE EARNED LITTLE MAN?

[fujoreads]

Umineko: Episode 1 // Review & Thoughts

I was initially NOT going to do this since I played Episode 1 long ago last year, but since I'm doing this from episode 3 to 8, might as well have these.

I have daily logs with my reading sessions' reactions and thoughts, but I'll try to find my highlights and summarize everything!

VNDB | Steam

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

CW: Murder (duh, it's a murder mystery); ableism + dysfunctional/abusive family talk

P.S.: There are youtube previews but they break inside my blog's theme, so they won't look as good, but I refuse not to show them, hmph!

This Episode was definitely more of an introduction, even though we seem to get introduced to new concepts, characters and even plot points with each chapter—just like with Higurashi. They do have the same author, after all.

One of the most common complaint I hear from folks about this episode is that it's too much of a slog at the beginning and while I can understand people's issues with pacing in general, I disagree. Maybe I just read too fast and am used to slow pacing, but I feel like people are just too used to having everything quickly presented to them without having to wait at all.

I see this same complaint with Higurashi and I gotta say: it's exactly BECAUSE it's not scary and mysterious from the bat, that when it does become crazy, you feel it. And it's gradual, even at that stage. You can see that as you go further: so far, this is the tamest episode yet and each ones outdoes the previous.

Anyway: I really enjoyed this as a first episode. It truly felt like an Agatha Christie and then it went 180 on it, just like I was expecting from Ryuukishi.

The incest jokes are fortunately short and quick to end, and I get why they'd bother so many people looking for a serious story, but at the same time I feel like people made too much of a ruckus over it. Battler is a horny teen and hasn't seen his family in 6 years; while that doesn't excuse him being a creep, this is clearly meant to be a funny scene and not be taken seriously. You can either laugh it off, roll your eyes or just ignore it, not drop the VN altogether—though if you can't take some tasteless jokes, you wouldn't last the entire ride for how long it is (lol)

I really like how similar yet so different the MCs from Higurashi and Umineko are. While they are both lovable perverts, Keiichi is quick to paranoia and doubting his friends; meanwhile, Battler shows a strong resolve to never doubt his family to the very end. ...This might age poorly depending on future episodes.

PLOT

Honestly, the score doesn't matter that much to me anymore. Especially not when I've read further and have been therefore corrupted with more exciting scenes.

This might be the less out-there scenario, and I appreciate it for what it is. This is basically Ryuukishi saying "hold on to your seats, this is gonna be crazy, but for now, just take it all in and get ready."

On the other hand, the family drama got INTENSE. Eva being voiced by Takano's VA makes so much sense, her being so sly and scheming. Poor Natsuhi, she's a bit too serious for her own good, but Eva is just a bully T^T

The scene where the first twilight happens is too much of a banger!!! I was not to control my emotions: I didn't know whether to dance or to grieve/be shocked. Ugh. But I'll talk more about it in my Soundtrack part.

Also, I just fucking love all the subtle (and not so subtle) references to Higurashi. It's really lovely to see a connection to one of my favorite VNs ever.

And those are my thoughts for the plot itself! I'll be talking about other aspects of the game after, but before, we still have the Tea Party and ??? chapters to talk about!

I knew beforehand there would be something akin to the All-Cast Review Session (from Higurashi) but it certainly surprised me. I was expecting a 20-minute read and I got 2 hours of reading AND a direct connection to the main plot??? Bonkers.

Plus, Battler was so badass the whole time, even if I called him an idiot a few times before this.

Oh yeah, and he was a bit of a savage at times LOL

(this hurt even ME)

CHARACTERS

Since this is the introduction, most characters are still very barebones compared to how far they've come where I currently am. HOWEVER! Ryuukishi is a fucking madlad writing characters.

Everyone feels like their own person with their own faults and liking points. Hell, he plays you like a puppet whose strings have been cut masterfully, shaping your opinion of certain characters just for that illusion to be broken along with our tame expectations of them.

Ushiromiya Battler

My cutie patotie, my little meow meow.

He started off a big incestuous weirdo but he's more mature than he shows, being all considerate for people around him and never being malicious. I love him.

Oh yeah, the whiplash I got from hearing Akasaka's voice is no joke-

Ushiromiya Rudolf

He's a dork and not a great father, it seems. I like his character but I know I wouldn't stand him irl. Though to be fair, I would be more like Maria—but we'll get there in a sec.

Ushiromiya Kyrie

MY WIFEEEE 🛐🛐🛐

I just love Kyrie no matter the episode. She's badass, reliable, but always mysterious. I never thought those "cool" mysterious characters were all that until I met her.

Ushiromiya Eva

MY QUEEN, SLAY 💅🏻✨ Jokes aside, she's a fucking great character. She might have a venomous tongue and be very shitty at times, but that's what makes her her.

Ushiromiya Hideyoshi

Hideyoshi is my utmost "can do no wrong" pick. What a wholesome and cute husband, especially to someone like Eva. God have mercy on this man.

Ushiromiya George

George is another cutie patotie, but he makes me a bit suspicious. I don't know, while Battler is just a pure-hearted goofball, George seems a bit more formal, more intentional with his behaviour and acting. Maybe it's just the glasses... Probably.

I gotta say though, some of the phrasing in his scenes with Shannon (or Sayo, I guess) are uuuuhm... I'd call this a red flag. Unless they were both into it, I guess lmao

Ushiromiya Krauss

I still remember my first impression of him:

He doesn't stand out particularly in this episode, so I won't make any comments. He does remind me of one of my uncles. As I said: insufferable.

Ushiromiya Natsuhi

So far (currently on episode 3), this is her episode. Maybe we'll get further character development (I hope so!) but for now, this a Natsuhi-centered episode. She starts off rather traditional and even cruel to servants, but she quickly earned my respect as the leader of the group, when the murders start happening.

Kinzo acknowledging Natsuhi as an Ushiromiya made me tear up 🥺💗

So many queens in this game 👑

Ushiromiya Jessica

I find Jessica a bit lame as a character. Maybe I'm just an adult, but her whole teen drama felt a bit too much. I mean, I get it; hell, it could even be envy... My own mother is mostly a Natsuhi-type and I can relate to Jessica's feeling, but I have grown up more contained—afraid— than her, let's just say. (Growing up autistic + ADHDer and undiagnosed with a overworked mother who now rejects my official diagnosis does things to you lol)

Ushiromiya Rosa

Rosa started as one of my favorite characters. As the younger sibling to a Eva-type of sister, I could relate to her struggles so much. That is, until you see how she is as a mother. I can still sympathize with her own individual struggles and I don't suddenly hate her because she isn't perfect, but again, as someone who grew up undiagnosed and was the "weird thing" that freaked everyone out and shamed my mother for exisiting, Rosa's behavior towards Maria was hard to watch.

Ushiromiya Maria

I will say: Maria's behavior is a bit weird when the occult is involved, but I daydreamed my whole family would die in a traffic accident at 11 so I'd be free of them—who am I to judge?

I could relate SO MUCH to Maria. I swear to God, Maria is so autistic-coded it hurts: ecolalia (the "uu"s, even if it's also supposed to be a moe? trait lol), lack of facial expressions, special interests (occult, Beatrice), not understanding jokes (even if she is a child)…

She's just like me fr. Her meltdown over the Rose reminds me so much of my own childhood, even if I don't remember much. Beatrice should just adopt her, heh.

Also, pretty sure Maria is the one writing these character profiles.

Ushiromiya Kinzo

OOOOOOH BEATORICHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Nothing much to say, he's painful to listen to. I mean, I guess that's intentional so hey, the VA did a wonderful job!

I think this is how my family must feel as I shut myself in my room all day long, only leaving to walk the dog and eating lol

Shannon

As of this episode, Shannon isn't given much spotlight. I'll be commenting more next episode!

For now, she's my little cutie patotie (3)

Kanon

I didn't love Kanon at first, but he’s just a teenage boy, it’s understandable. I still don't love him, but he's grown on me.

Genji

Genji is an interesting character. I don't remember much from him during the first episode, but I basically saw him as the reliable type.

I wouldn't be too surprised if there were any Kinzo x Genji fanart, not that I ship them

Kumasawa

Ah yes, the only able to outdo Battler in the pervert lines.

Kumasawa is a fine supporting character, but we don't see much from her. I mean, there are some things about her during episode 3, but not really? I can't explain without spoiling, so I'll complain more when I get to it.

Nanjo

Nanjo's cute mustache my beloved. That's all.

Gohda

Gohda might be the funniest character, actually. The fact that he is just a random dude caught in the whole mystery is so funny to me.

Other than that, I absolutely hated Gohda this episode. He gets a bit less insufferable for the next episodes, but maybe it's just me sympathizing for the poor guy just trying to do his job.

Atmosphere & Soundtrack

FUCK. I LOVE BEING ABLE TO HEAR.

Seriously, what a divine soundtrack. Especially the ones by zts.

I just couldn't stop banging my head!

And I've heard Umineko has around 200 tracks—I can't wait to get through all of them <3

I'm kind of sad I don't know what else to say, but I'll just leave this video here. It's what made me pick up Umineko once and for all:

Ooooh I almost forgot about the Voice Acting, so I'll include it here. I LOVED IT. A lot of VAs from Higurashi came back so it's always fun to notice these little things. It makes the drama much better too.

Art

I've chosen the PS3 sprites. Yes, I know: heathen behavior. But personally, I love them. I know that compared to the OG art, they may not be as expressive, but I just enjoy them a lot more. I've grown to appreciate Ryuukishi's art a lot more as I played Higurashi, don't worry.

The Pachinko version, on the other hand, is fucking awful. Say what you will, I just can't swallow it down.

Writing

I know Ryuukishi's forte isn't his prose, but it's actually not bad at all!

I don't have anything in particular to comment on, so I'll make this one short. Great writing, even if a bit convoluted at times.

Mechanics & Gameplay

This is a weird section, as Umineko doesn't even have choices, let alone "gameplay", but hear me out: I'm playing with the mods.

The visual and sound rain effects, the lip sync, the overall visual effects... chef's kiss! I doubt my enjoyment would be so great without these. Call me spoiled, but they are truly amazing.

Final Thoughts

Phew, I wrote a lot!

Umineko is not an unknown work for those into visual novels so I don't think I have to particularly recommend it, but I am absolutely loving it. No wonder people praise it so much.

My final score for this episode is a solid 8.5/10, aka 4 stars!!

If you want to have an idea whether this is for you, don't drop it until the first murder happens, please! It's considered to have a slow start, so take that into consideration. If you're a fast reader like me, you'll get there in no time!

For reference, the first episode took me around 15~17h to finish, a length somewhat close to Higurashi's Episode 1. Episode 3 and 4 are said to be the longest ones and they average a total of 30h, but when you get there, you'll be hopefully fully immersed. I certainly am, at least!

Well then, I'll be writing my thoughts on Episode 2 soon! Look forward to it~

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Thank you for reading it all to the end! I’m working full-time and looking for another job to make my life possible; would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

#review #visual novel #07th expansion #when they cry #umineko no naku koro ni #blog

[thyandrawrites]

aaaah i see you switched fandoms! Ive been reading bllk for a while now and i really wish i could enjoy it in a more "serious" (?) or genuine way but its almost impossible to me like whats going on??? what even are these characters 😭😭 lmao. anyway which one is your fave, who do you want to protect and who would you beat up? lol

Lmao I totally get that! To be fair I'm more surprised that I'm even this into it, this manga is absolutely bonkers. I cannot take it seriously at all (I laugh at all the "tragic" scenes) but at the same time it's dumb fun and I'm here for it.

To answer you, my faves are the freak (bachira) and the freak of nature (nagi). I want to protect them both for wildly different reasons lol.

Bachira is the type that doesn't need anyone's protection, but if you watch his backstory and feel nothing, you're the real monster 😂 (jk jk). He's stupidly strong and stupidly competent, and I'm super proud of him and how much he still enjoys soccer. He might be the only guy in there who is normal about soccer and didn't develop an unhealthy fixation with it or forgot it's suppposed to be fun, which is hilarious when you put him next to literally everyone else. He's an hedonist more than an egoist, but that's what I like about him

Then there's nagi and I want to protect him because recent manga developments were ominous and I'm not ready. Nagi is fun because he is protagonist material. He starts out as a complete newbie, tho insanely op, but his growth is slow and steady and shown step by step on screen, which makes me root for him :') he's also a fun balance between ace material and follower mentality. I love how the manga shows these two sides of him clashing and pushing him to do better.

As for the guy I want to beat up... Well, kaiser gets on my nerves, ngl. But he's also written to be a black and white annoyance. His whole point in the narrative is to be a stepping stone for Isagi to get stronger. But idk, Rin had the same role but he is leagues more interesting, despite being far from my faves. I think my main issue is that Rin feels more like a fleshed out character, whether Kaiser is just... The cocksure creep trope times 10, and little else

Other than that, unpopular opinion but Ego is a jackass for literally no reason. Particularly to Anri. Kaiser annoys me more but I wouldn't beat him up. Ego, on the other hand, is fair game. Respect women or catch these hands, fucker

#I guess sae might be a contender for a beating up #But my fight response is mitigated by my curiosity #He's like. Deranged. But in a 'I want to study his damage' sort of way. Lmaoo #Ali replies #The soccer hunger games

[americorys]

🤡 😈 💔

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?: trying to figure this out was legitimately bonkers bc i remember nothing about any of my fics BUT i do recall cracking up like, the whole time i wrote you're my christmas (a gift that's sure to last), because it's just like...a bunch of half-drunk party banter between everyone at mid-wilshire. i find those scenes difficult to write but also very fun at the same time. especially tickled by:

Tim’s not surprised to find her now holding court with Bailey, Nolan, and James, her drink in one hand, her other gesturing wildly around her head as the group laughs at her. He slides the plate onto the counter between them, then drapes his arm around her lazily, his fingers curving around her waist as she continues what seems to be a story about the two of them, if the looks he’s getting from Nolan and James are any indicator. “So, I’m about three jello shots in and I’m already not having a great time, especially because somebody,” she pokes Tim in the ribs with her thumb, “isn’t even wearing an ugly sweater, which we’d discussed him doing the night before.” Tim realizes she’s talking about the year before and shakes his head, but a smile eases its way onto his face as he takes another sip of his whiskey. “That’s the least surprising thing you’ve said so far,” Nolan shrugs, popping a miniature crab cake into his mouth. “I don’t know why you expected Tim to show up in an ugly sweater. I don’t think he owns one.” “I don’t,” Tim nods, raising his glass over to Nolan. “See?” Lucy scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Okay, that’s not the point at all.”  “No, the point is that he was supposed to at least have an ugly sweater on,” Bailey offers, gesturing with her wine glass. “I’m sure it would’ve been way easier to ignore him if he had looked,” she trails off, glancing over at Tim. “Yeah, if he hadn’t looked ridiculously attractive.” “The man can’t help that,” James shrugs, and Tim wrinkles his nose down at Lucy, his eyes narrow. “Why are we doing this?"

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?: i feel like the answer to this is supposed to be yes but is probably no? i am sure there are moments it's felt like it but i am typically just kind of like bopping around writing in a vacuum and then when people read it i'm like oh right that was released publicly heh

except maybe we're all ghost stories at the end. that fic i totally wrote to be mean to my readers in a non-playful way. whoops!

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?: oof...i think about the tim from maybe we're all ghost stories at the end a lot, but i feel like none of the other fic-chenfords i have in my head have really broken my heart. now, the little chenfords that live in unwritten things and swirl around my brain all the time? they break my heart 10 to 1. which is silly to say because most of them will never make it onto the page for me, but i think that's why they break my heart more. because the fics i write usually have resolution or at least enough of one that i feel comfortable letting them go, ya know?

anyway this is long let's just pretend i answered this question normally

#stargazerdaisy #ask #ficasks

[cerealmonster15]

FOR SHIP BINGO, obligatory jamiazurido and also uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh rookvil and hell science club duo and also rook/jade idk I'm in a rook shipping mood I guess lol

oh good im ALWAYS in a rook mood in general this appeals to me specifically let's GO

jamiazurido my beloved. MY BELOVED I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH i think about them. constantly.

i simultaneously believe they could work So Well Together and either cancel each other's Bonkers Behavior out or make it WORSE and would probably be. so insufferable fkldsjflsjd but it would WORK for THEM 😌 and they could bond over. The Issues.

ok ROOKVIL:

theyre simply married. soul mates even. inventors of Being In Love :) idk if it shows up well but i wrote HELP over(neutral) this time jflkdsj I GO NUTS THINKING ABOUT THESE TWO. THE CANON WAY THEY INTERACT IS LIKE. HELLO. HUSBAND BEHAVIOR CONSTANTLY

SCIENCE CLUB BOYS:

i feel like this chart doesnt do the lowkey ships justice fkldjsfkl i GREATLY ENJOY science club boys i fucking LOVE when theyre on screen together!!!! that one scene w/them in beans 2 where rook is clocking treys behavior and the screen slowly zooms in on him while hes rambling and then suddenly backs back out to show trey looking So Freaked Out is the FUNNIEST thing to me i always laugh SO HARD at that part lkfdjslfs!!!! i like them as a shipmore passively tho like to me theyre club besties but also i would not mind if they held hands and also kissed. that would be very pog or whatever!!! and i think personally that rook's by default a little in love w/most of his friends anyway sdljkfjls rook invented gay subtext except theres nothing subtext about him actually he just blatantly fawns over everything and anything. and we love him for that!!!!

ROOKJADE HEHEHEE:

UNDERRATED. CHAOTIC DUO OF THE CENTURY i love them SO much they are SO FUNNY together i want them to INTERACT MORE!!!!!!!!! they would directly enable and feed off of each other's little freak behaviors!!!! they literally do that in canon!!!!

boys who like weird and interesting occurrences see each other and go "oh i have GOT to stalk him through the woods at a close distance" fjsldfjks THEYRE SO FUNNYYYYY i circled 'crack ship' bc like. theyre bonkers. but it's not REALLY a crack ship not to ME. but also kind of. idk LOL i just want them to Be Weird Together 😌

[BINGO]

#asks #felix-the-lemon-king #ty felix u get me 😌

[mr007pennyworth]

Capt. Gareth 'Cockwomble' Mallory

----

"So, training, it was something as Major, I was highly involved in when the boys were young and we had points between on and off duty to fill"

"There was one afternoon where we had to run all the Captains through stealth training, Gareth at this point was just promoted and totally overconfident even though I had tried to insist this bit was going to be hard as fuck to get used to, anyway, so there I am, watching him get all this kit on...combat gear, protective gear, a helmet covered in fake grass, I tell you when I handed him that he looked at me like I'd gone bonkers..."

"So, I took him to the pit, showed him the rough way of how to cut a dug out in the ground, how to use metal or tree branches to make walls, it's a bit long and then it was time to train him how to use a smoke bomb and tear gas stuff for siege missions etc, and he's standing in this pit, with this helmet on holding this can full of fake tear gas and I said-

"Go on through it over at the target then climb out the bunker"

"Well, the fucking lad, laughs and goes, "Fine but how the hell I'm supposed to see fuck with this fucker on I don't know can't see shit, Sir, are you sure I'm not supposed to see?"

"Throw it lad or your fail this test you got 30 seconds"

"I tell you, he turns aims and fucking hits the tree in front of him and the thing bounces back into the pit...oh god the panic, I turned away for a second heard him go 'OH FUCK' and when I turned around the thing explodes under him and he's yelling, I'm panicking, oh dear god the whole this was a total mess, it was the first time, I called him a cock womble in front of everyone and today I'm still laughing, honest to god once I knew he hadn't any gas burns I laughed to the point where I couldn't breathe...I couldn't THERE WAS FUCKING SMOKE EVERYWHERE THANKS TO GARETH"

@dontcxckitup

#mr007pennyworth‌ #dontcxckitup #bvs verse (irons) #[the origins of Gareth's famous saying to bond 'don't cock it up' ?]

[praycambrian]

okay so despite the inside of my brain looking like the radioactive elephant's foot bc of black sails exposure, i have not fully rewatched the show, ever, not since inhaling it in 2016. today my partner puts it on while im doing something else and when i realize what has happened i start like, wailing. Laughing? There were some Definite sounds.

Anyway we watched the pilot and then like an hour later my partner (who knows nothing abt this show other than that it makes me bonkers) was like "hmm, so I imagine the comparison between flint and Odysseus has already been made, right?" and I'm like 😵 and then once i process THAT she's like "yeah...flint is scary. I wonder if it might've been better if singleton did become the captain." And I'm like 😵😵😵😵😵😵

#black sails #i am almost in a state of shock #james flint

[justmybookthots]

The Contortionist

My biggest feat this month is not DNFing this.

Quality is never guaranteed with anything, but even then, I didn't see this coming. To be fair, it hasn’t been trending on Booktok at all—I don’t think I’ve ever seen it on there, tbh—I knew of it mainly because of Reddit. All I can say is that that subreddit has taken a huge hit on their credibility (I’m half-joking).

This reads in some part like an edgy thirteen-year-old wrote this. There is so much telling, not showing. It feels… I don’t know how to explain it, but like I’m reading a high school composition / essay. I am constantly told things, like how “insane” Simon is, like how close the main character is to Trent, but I’m never really shown that, especially the latter. 

Let’s talk about Trent, her gay best friend and the driving force of most of the story. He’s supposed to be dearest pal and the person she wants to protect, and I’m like… Why? He acts nothing like a friend. He’s just a selfish, conceited person who only cares about his own interests. She tells him she was molested, and this—this monstrosity—is what he says:

 I… I don’t even know what to say about this. Firstly, what kind of friend advocates for fucking sexual assault? Secondly, this is a horrific caricature of how a gay person is portrayed. It's an insult to gay people. All this character thinks about is fucking hot men. The heroine, Cora, his best friend, is very clearly distraught because of the circus but he has never once noticed—never once cared beyond going there to get dick from someone at the circus:

And then later, when he’s in danger, she thinks: 

Ah, right. The good old flashbacks. Because other than flashbacks to remind us how supposedly close these two people are (which are just shoe-horned in and not convincing at all), Trent has never done anything worth risking her life to save him. 

Anyways, enough about Trent. Let’s talk about Simon, whose characterisation makes me puke.

I’ll start with the obvious—he’s insane. Don’t worry, you won’t forget this, because he reminds you of this every chapter. He’s insane. His smile “reeks” of insanity, whatever that means! He lost his sanity a long time ago! He is bonkers!  (These are phrases all written in the book)

This is the cheapest way to describe a crazy person to me. My petty pet peeve is that I hate an overload of adjectives—show me he’s unhinged through his actions. And him constantly thinking to himself that he is insane made me cringe; can he… not? I have nothing against crazy people in fiction (if anything, they’re hella interesting if done right) but reminding me over and over again as if ‘crazy’ or 'evil' is his main personality trait is... a choice. And if he’s not reminding you of this, his circus co-workers are: 

I... laughed, and I think I wasn't supposed to laugh. This story is supposed to be about a creepy, spooky circus, but other than Simon, everyone else just acts like normal people, save for the barker, who was creepy at first then had a personality transplant and became a normal, decent guy the next day. And them calling him “a dangerous, murderous piece of shit” had me in pieces.

I have to add that I read the “Unseelie Prince” by the same author and DNFed it, and it confirms to me that she writes the same type of male lead that is not for me. Why is he constantly cackling? Once or twice is… fine, I guess, but every time he cackles I envision a crazy witch-hag. And he gives big granny vibes too because he keeps calling the main character “cupcake”.  No, I'm not kidding:

(Of course, we gotta be reminded that he is a psychopath. Can’t forget the reminder!) Also, he'll sometimes go on long rants when he’s angry, and the abrupt switch and the way the dialogue is written is... not done well. It's hard to put a finger on it and say exactly why, other than it didn't work for me.

There’s a lot more issues with this book that I don’t care to go into, because I’m not continuing this nonsense. Cora constantly going back to the circus when she’s traumatised by it yet and yet again makes no sense, and the horrible characterisation of everyone is another step down. Even “Hide” by Kiersten White did a better job setting an eerie atmosphere for a circus than this book did. I think a part of me did compare this book to “Hide”, and it falls awfully short. 

Buried underneath this bilge is a plot that could actually work with the right execution. The puppet thing is honestly kind of interesting, but with their puppeteer being some man that talks like an edgy grandma, it is just not working for me. Goodbye, and good riddance. I've decided to write this author off once and for all.

- 29 July 2023

#books #harrow faire #kathryn ann kingsley #book blog #bookish

[gottanerdout]

Well...

there's gonna be at LEAST two very distinct camps after this episode, I'm calling it now.

1. the people calling Loki/Sylvie basically incest (self..cest?)

2. the people that are like, "yeah, actually, him falling in love with another version of himself seems about right."

and honestly, I couldn't imagine any other character show causing this kind of faction chaos, so at least it's on brand?

#loki #loki spoilers #sylvie laufeydottir #loki laufeyson #marvel #I am in the second camp honestly lmao #that feel when the sad character with self-esteem issues falls in love with the alt universe version of himself #who is basically a being with the same issues #but he thinks she's amazing anyway #WEIRD how that is lmao #anyway this show is bonkers I'm laughing #seriously tho y'all there's different versions of love #I'm just saying