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trashyswitch · 3 years

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The Logic of Voodoo Dolls

Remus had created a voodoo doll of Logan. And what is he gonna plan to do with it? Well tickle it, of course!

This prompt was suggested by @little-lee-lo-simp. I hope you enjoy the fanfic! And no, I never forgot about this prompt.

Remus hummed to himself softly while he sewed the tie onto the inside of the t-shirt. Then, Remus tied a knot into the thread and cut the string from the tie. “Aaaah, DONE!” Remus declared, holding his doll up to the sky.

The item he was holding, was a doll. A voodoo doll...made to look exactly like Logan!

“It’s perfect!” Remus opened the zipper on the back and squealed as he opened a jar. He grabbed a pair of tweezers, reached into the jar, and pulled out a blue thread from the jar and a hair along with it. He had strands of Logan bits for years now and finally, he could use them for the perfect purpose!

Remus put the blue thread and the hair into the inner fluff of the voodoo doll and zipped up the zipper. Now, if he did this correctly, he can control Logan’s body!

Remus walked around with the doll and contemplated doing something terrible to him. He contemplated making him feel horrible things! TERRIBLE THINGS! Like a knife wound! A paper cut! A STAB RIGHT IN THE HEART WITH A NEEDLE! A KNIFE IN THE EYE! AN AMPUTATION! SURGERY WITHOUT ANESTHESIA!

But none of that would be satisfying for Remus. What he needed, was the perfect way to leave him so confused, so terrified, so nervewracked that he can’t take any second of it. But it just won’t stop!

He knew just the thing:

Remus grabbed a feather out of his jar of bird feathers, and looked toward the teeny button sewn on for a tiny belly button.

[In Logan’s room:]

Logan was doing some research alongside Thomas. He was so invested in the research that he forgot how to look away and take a break.

But one little flutter...was all it took to get him out of his research trance. Logan jumped a teeny bit, and looked down at his belly. What was that?! A bug? Lint from his shirt? Did his shirt tickle him by accident? Logan didn’t know.

Logan decided to ignore it for now, and return to the research. He wasn’t worried about it. Not at all.

But it came back. And for longer this time! The fluttering feeling plagued him, and made him wanna smile and wiggle! But Logan wouldn’t dare do such a thing!

“Logan, did you hear me?” Thomas asked.

Logan hummed, sounding slightly strained. The fluttering hadn’t stopped.

“Oh my god...Logan are you okay?” Thomas asked.

Thankfully, the fluttering decided to stop as Logan started to answer. “Yes, I’m okay. Apologies.”

“It’s alright. You just...you looked constipated.” Thomas told him.

Logan widened his eyes and awkwardly looked around. “Oh...Wonderful.”

A couple seconds later, the fluttering was back! And this time, stronger and fluffier than ever! Logan gasped rather quietly and covered his mouth to prevent anything from coming out. But his body was BEGGING to let out every little squeak and giggle.

“Isn’t that cool, Logan?” Thomas asked, looking to Logan. “...Logan?”

Logan quickly checked his belly button, and realized there was no bug on his belly or anything! The fluttering was happening still, and it was gonna make him break if it didn’t stop.

“What’s the matter? Is your stomach bothering you?” Thomas asked.

“Mmm-You c-could say thahat…” Logan mentally cursed as he let a giggle escape.

Thomas blinked and leaned back a bit in surprise. Did...He just giggle? “Uhuhuh...Something is happening, and I’m not sure what it is, nor how to fix it-”

Logan let out a breath of relief as the fluttering stopped. “I’m...okay. I promise.” Logan told him, still trying to keep his composure.

“Mm hmm…” Thomas didn’t really believe him, and proceeded to watch him.

“Though I will admit I don’t know what- aaAAAH!” Logan quickly covered his mouth as the fluttering started up but this time, it felt like a pencil was wiggling around in there! NO! NOT THAT!

Thomas widened his eyes and watched as Logan held his stomach and covered his mouth desperately.

“What in the world- Are you in pain? Or what?” Thomas asked. “Are you trying not to yawn?”

Logan shook his head. “It-it...well…” Logan didn’t know how to explain it.

“Well…?” Thomas asked.

The pencil feeling dipped into his belly button…

“EEP!” Logan screeched, feeling it poke in the middle of his belly button.

“What happened?” Thomas asked.

Logan finally started giggling, catching Thomas off guard. “Ihihihit tihihicklehes!” Logan told him.

Thomas lifted up Logan’s shirt and to his surprise, there was nothing there that could’ve been tickling him. So why was he laughing from ticklishness?

Logan’s giggles were now free and ready to control him as the tickly feeling moved to his hips. Logan giggled and laughed as a feeling that felt like fingers, started fluttering and occasionally digging inside Logan’s hips.

“Whahahahat ihihihis gohohohoihihing ohohon?” Logan asked.

“I have no idea! But whatever it is, I am loving it!” Thomas admitted.

Logan held his belly and hips while doubling over with even stronger laughter. “NOHOHOHO DIGGIHIHIHING!” Logan begged.

Thomas smiled. “I think I might understand what’s going on.” Thomas told him.

“Whahaha- AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Logan fell to the ground and bursted out into wild cackles as his belly button AND one of his hips was toyed with. Logan’s feet were kicking all over the place while his glasses were surprisingly staying on his face for the most part.

“Voodoo? Is this voodoo by any chance?” Thomas asked.

“VOHOHOHOODOHOHOO?” Logan asked.

“Yeah! Someone’s using voodoo magic on you!” Thomas told him.

“FAHAHALSEHOHOHOHOHOD!” Logan yelled. “WHOHOHO WOULD-”

Suddenly, all the tickles stopped! No tickles! None! Logan quickly took in the air around him and used it to fill his body with oxygen once again. Logan huffed and puffed tiredly, and looked to Thomas with a look of embarrassment, and desperation. “I don’t know if it’s gonna happen again.” Logan admitted, being worried.

“It’ll probably happen again. I didn’t know you were so ticklish though!” Thomas admitted, wiggling his fingers.

“Yeheah...Don’t tickle me.” Logan ordered.

“Aww…” Thomas muttered, dropping his fingers with disappointment.

Logan sighed and fixed his glasses. “How inconvenient and embarrassing…”

“I think you mean ‘How fun and adorable’. Right?” Thomas teased.

Logan gave Thomas a look of annoyance as he got up onto his feet and straightened his tie.

Suddenly, the tickling started up again but this time, on Logan’s belly! Logan couldn’t hide it this time around, and bursted out giggling almost immediately.

Thomas smiled and tilted his head. “Awwww!” He reacted, going through some cuteness overload.

Logan shook his head and growled. “NOHOHOHOT AHAHAHAWW!” Logan fought.

“Yes awww! Such awww! All the awww’s!” Thomas replied back.

“NOHOHOHOHO!” Logan whined.

Thomas smiled and leaned in, blowing a raspberry onto Logan’s belly. This threw Logan into hysterics beyond imaginable!

Logan threw his arms up and cackled frantically while pushing Thomas away from him. “NOHOHOHOT YOHOHOHOU TOHOHOHOO!”

“Yes, me too! I wanna tickle you too!” Thomas told him.

“UHUHUNFAHAHAHAIR!” Logan shot at him.

“Yeah yeah yeah, go back to laughing.” Thomas told him with a smirk.

Logan, sure enough, went back to laughing. His laugh was really contagious, to the point that even Thomas was starting to laugh a little in reaction! It sounded snorty, giggly, hiccupy, and all the laughter mixed into one! It definitely made him more human-like as well.

Then, Thomas started leaning in and teasing the poor man!

“Is your belly really this ticklish?”

Logan’s laughter was the only answer given to him throughout the whole moment, so he had to improvise.

“How adorable! Listen to that laughter! Such cute and nerdy little giggles!”

That made Logan’s face heat up with a blush the color of watermelon. The freckles could even be misinterpreted for watermelon seeds! And the big freckles? Well...Black watermelon seeds. Cause those are a thing too!

“Hey Logan! How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?” Thomas asked.

Logan giggled and pushed Thomas. “STAHAHAP WIHIHITH THEHEHE JOHOHOHOHOKES!”

“No way! You love them, so why would I stop?” Thomas reacted. “And the answer is Ten-tickles.” Thomas told him.

Logan groaned through his laughter and continued to laugh till the sun shined.

“Aww, it wasn’t that bad, was it?” Thomas asked.

In a couple seconds, the tickling finally stopped. The phantom tickles continued to plague him but the actual tickles were gone. Whatever had happened, was now unable to be proven until the person that voodooed Logan started up again.

Suddenly, a door burst open and a man in green, holding a doll, had walked in. “Heeeeey Thomas!” The person greeted.

Now it was Thomas’s turn to groan. “Hi Remus…”

“Awww, why the long faaaace?” Remus asked. “I could make you giggle with just a single touch. I just need to remove the blue string from the back of this voodoo doll I made!” Remus told him.

“AHA! It WAS a voodoo doll! I KNEW IT!” Thomas yelled.

“Ihit...was you...Ihihi shohould’ve...kn-nown…” Logan spoke slowly.

“Yessss! It WAS me! Are you surprised by the tickle tickle tickles?” Remus teased.

Logan covered up his face. “No.”

“But...tickles are evil!” Remus told him. “They have a brutal history!”

Logan ran to Remus and tried to get the doll back. But the moment he tried lifting his armpits while reaching upwards, Remus just poked his armpits multiple times to catch him off guard. Logan yelped and dropped his arms, but attempted to reach up again. Remus poked his armpits a few more times, and kept the voodoo doll out of his reach. Logan was growing annoyed at Remus’s antics, and finally decided to use his own antics against him: He tickled Remus’s armpits. Remus squeaked and threw his arms down, growing surprised at Logan’s boldness. Logan continued to tickle him despite getting his hand stuck, and finally, with some fighting and determination, managed to get the doll into his grasp.

Remus huffed and breathed somewhat heavily the moment the tickling stopped, and Remus was now doll-less. Logan unzipped the zipper on the back, knowing generally how a voodoo doll worked. He quickly noticed the Thomas hair that was in there, and the blue string that had made itself comfortable in the clutches of the doll. So that was how the thing worked!

Then, Logan quickly remembered the bit of string he got from Remus’s shirt while fighting. He removed the blue string from its back, picked up a sparkly patch from Remus’s shirt and placed it in there. With the voodoo doll ready, Logan closed the back up tightly and started tickling right away.

Remus doubled over and SCREAMED! “HOHOHOLY SHIHIHIHIHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Having any regrets yet?” Logan teased.

“NOHOHOHO! HEHEHEHELL NAHAHAHAW!” Remus yelled back.

Logan sighed and started squeezing the hips. “Suit yourself then.”

Remus guffawed at the spot, and flopped to the floor. He grabbed onto his belly, kicked his feet everywhere and laughed like the end of the world was afoot.

Logan couldn’t help but giggle at Remus’s reactions while he tickled him. It was such a funny thing to see Remus laugh so manically and yet, quite joyfully. The funniest and predictable part about the whole thing was that Remus was enjoying it! Enjoying it a lot too!

Remus wiggled around and threw his arms around like a crazy baby. It was crazy, yet predictable that Logan got the upper hand in the whole operation. Of COURSE the logical one would dominate the impulsive one! That was usually a cliche.

However, Remus was smart in his own ways. Remus got himself up despite the tickles, and jumped into Logan’s arms, completely throwing all his deadweight onto him.

Logan shrieked and flopped to the ground, voodoo doll dropped in the process. Remus then started tickling his armpits, ribs, belly, and hips down and up, down and up again in that order.

Logan completely lost all composure and laughed himself beyond his years. It had been literally forever since he had laughed this hard. Way too long in Patton’s opinion, probably.

So...Remus got to have his fun. Two times! Logan gave Remus a little bit of a fight though. He was going to get that voodoo doll one way or another eventually. But maybe…

...Maybe it’s best to laugh it out for now.

#voodoo doll #cute logan #evil remus #ticklefic #switch!remus #switch!logan

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

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a brush of luck

— In a world where soulmates exist you can communicate yours with a brush of a pen. It just doesn’t help that you are a certified idiot with a skill in misplacing things. —

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, cursing

word count: 4,229

a/n: this is for the bnaharem collab and I was super horrible and was not ready and i just woke up and threw this together please dont hate me uhuhuhuhhh see the masterlist here!!!

message to join my tag list!

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“Hey, y/l/n, you forget this!”

Your hair was falling into your face, your face flustered, and your binders filled with paper seemed to be liquid as they slowly fell to the ground.

Kaminari stood behind you when you turned around. His lips were picked into a kind smile. It was a teasing one too by the small glint in his eyes while he held onto your backpack and phone. A look of self-realized stupidity washed over your face when your head threw back into a groan. How stupid were you, really?

“I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, throwing your things onto the nearest desk. You felt the tips of your ears burn with embarrassment when Kaminari helped you slip on your backpack and pocketed your phone in the jacket pocket. “I swear I’m the most forgetful person in the world.”

“Well, you do really clinch the title of the person who would forget their head if it wasn’t on their shoulders.”

Snorting, you shoved him with your shoulder, and he helped you regather your things with a low groan.

“Let’s see the tattoo,” you grin, ready to head out once again. Groaning loudly, Kaminari didn’t seem to want to give in to your demand, but still, with a twitch of his eye and a shove of his sleeve, he showed off his arm. “You know what, I’m going to say it—”

“I’m going to say it, I don’t care that you broke your elbows,” Kaminari finishes the phrase with you with a snort.

“Do you think it’s the first thing out of their mouth or matching tattoo?” you asked curiously when you blond best friend also prepped to leave the classroom for the day.

“I hope its the first thing out of their mouth, imagine how fucking ultra sexy foxy hot that would be,” Kaminari moaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his eyes at the thought. Gagging at the visual horniness of that thought, you walked away, grinning at the way that Kaminari stumbled over his feet to catch up with you.

This was the world you lived in, the world of soulmates.

You weren’t sure when they had first started, but you know that it wasn’t always a phenomenon that was around. When you roamed the internet looking at old, old stories on soulmates, these theories, these worlds were built on one single concept.

They wrote about a world of black and white for everyone until that fateful moment, or matching tattoos for everyone. But no, this world was much more complicated, much more detailed. Yes, in the world there were a lot of theories that ended up being true, but the thing they didn’t see coming was that every couple — every polyamorous relationship consisted of a unique theme.

Kaminari’s soulmate was linked with tattoo’s, and the purpose behind said symbol was unknown, unheard of until he met them. Yours, as you could guess and know, was also different. Pressing your fingers against the pen that sat on the inside pocket of your uniform jacket, you smiled when Kaminari’s arm was thrown around you.

“At least you’ve never lost or forgotten that pen of yours, that would be dangerous!”

“I promise I will never ever forget it.”

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You sat on your bed nearing midnight. You were cocooned into your blankets flipping through your Hero Lawbook that you were supposed to have read months ago, but now finally was. Humming to yourself, you read through the apparent laws and the not so evident laws.

For instance, there is a law that Pro Heroes are not allowed to eat off the edge of buildings anymore! American transfer students had littered so much it became a law!

Snorting to yourself, you flipped the page.

But something warm pressed into your forearm, the most heated energy that sent shivers down your spine. It was comforting as it was ethereal. The second your body recognized the feeling, the Hero Lawbook went soaring across the room, and you grabbed your pen that was waiting at your side for ages now.

Hi, sorry I’m just able to get back to you. I had a bunch of homework and friends who just let me leave them.

Smiling to yourself, you twirled the pen in your fingers and scribbled down your response:

It’s all good, I’ve been studying this entire time too, was just bored and didn’t respond to you earlier today!

Your soulmate theme was straightforward and quite comprehensive — it was dubbed the Forearm and Pen theme (you hated that theme). You could communicate with your soulmate by writing with the pen on your arm, but it only worked with that pen, nothing else.

The year you were to turn sixteen, you received a pen from literally out of the blue. You remember celebrating New Year with your class in your first year at U.A.; it had been an enjoyable night! Everything in life was still going fantastic, and your class was finally past the excellent friend’s point and felt like a genuine family. You remember hugging and telling everyone good night, still being fifteen at that point, and stumbling back to your room exhausted.

When you had gotten back to your room, you didn’t even undress; simply tugging off your pants and removing your bra, you threw yourself onto the bed. But you had landed on something stiff and painful, groaning your hands shuffled for whatever it was that you fell on, and when you grabbed it, you froze at the sight of the white box.

Was this a gift?

Your entire life, you had always wondered if you did have a soulmate, most people you knew after all had soulmate markers that appeared since birth. But you were perfectly normal. You saw all colors; you had no shared pain; there was no tattoo, no mind link, no dream meetings.

Nothing.

You were normal.

Sighing, you opened the box, hoping that it was from someone you at the very least respected.

Inside was a silver pen.

You blinked your eyes rapidly, unsure of what you were looking at, there were no initials, no engraving, nothing.

It was an exquisite pen, and despite what you thought, it was very, very light. Frowning, your fingers pushed down on the pen, but there was nothing that came out, was there no ink?

Shrugging, you dragged it against your arm feeling the way that the cool tip delicately massaged your arm. It felt nice.

“Holy shit!”

Your eyes saw the pretty grey silvery ink on your forearm. It stood out against your skin, the ink appearing nowhere else but your arm, and then it hit you.

This was for your soulmate!

With excitement tearing through you, your exhaustion no longer bitting on your skull, but the overwhelming need to know that this was for your soulmate shook you awake. Twirling the pen in your fingers, you couldn’t help but start writing.

OMG HI

You sat there staring at your forearm, unsure as to what to do next. What do you do next?

Hey?

If your heart could be anywhere but your chest, you were nearly positive it existed within your throat at this very moment. This was nervewracking, holy shit.

Sorry, you don’t know me, but I’m ___ ___.

You frowned when you tried to write your name, it was stopping you.

It seems that we do have some rules to this entire thing.

They responded back to you, and as if they could hear you, you groaned loudly.

This soulmate shit was already stopping your excitement, it seemed.

From that very first night, the two of you were able to discover a few things. First off, anything too personal was not allowed to be written out. So names, location, and gender were the biggest ones. Birthdays were not, and you were quick to find out that both of you were still fifteen. Second of all, just because you couldn’t figure out where exactly you both were located, you did manage to put together that you were both in Japan. Third of all, your soulmate was a Hero in Training just like you and was a male. Last, of all, you were quick to realize that you were in love with the way your body felt like it was gently warming up whenever he messaged you.

I think I deserve a round of applause.

You grinned after writing your sentence, your eyes watching while the warmth filled your body and his writing slowly appearing on your forearm.

Did you not forget anything today? I find that hard to believe.

You had to suppress a scream.

WELL, IT HAPPENED! I GOT EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO BRING BACK TO MY ROOM WITH ME!!

Weren’t you the one who forgot to bring your entire backpack to school the other day?

NO! I said I almost did, but my bestie got it for me!

How do you forget everything? I think you should try to make a list to make sure that you always have things you need for the day.

... I do… but I always lose the list, and im always running late…

You’re the worst…

Congrats bbg, I’m your soulmate

The world really doesn’t want to bless me with a good life, it seems…

HEY, THAT’S MEAN!

The two of you banter for what seems like hours, the night sky fading from blackness to the deep blue of the sky right before the sunrise. You had spent the entire night curled into your pillow, your face shoved into the soft fabric to suppress your chortling snorts because you geniunely enjoyed interacting with your soulmate. But it was late, and you both had classes early that next morning.

Okay, asshole, I need to sleep! I got this stupid test tomorrow that I did not study for. I'll write to ya tomorrow!! Goodnight!!!

Don’t be rude to your soulmate :( but goodnight, and good luck on that test, sorry for keeping you up.

Smiling at his words, you put the pen to your forearm one last time.

I will never ever accept your apology for making me stay up, I love talking with you, goodnight soulmate, sweet dreams.

You placed the pen down, your eyes fluttering close, heavy with sleep. But still, no exhaustion could suppress the fluttering warmth in your body when words appeared on your arm.

Sweet dreams, soulmate.

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“Fuck, sorry,” you groaned when you sleepily slammed into the person standing in front of you.

Blinking tiredness away from your eyes — poorly at that too — you focused up at Shouto. Grinning, you waved at your classmate, who looked almost as exhausted as you felt and definitely looked.

“It’s okay,” he nodded at you stepping to the side so that the two of you could walk side to side.

“You ready for that test today?” you asked after moments of silence.

You and Todoroki Shouto were not as close as you would like to be. Since day one, you had always had a thing for the duality of a man, and while it was mostly superficial feelings derived from the fact that he was attractive above anything else, it still made you awkward around him. At the time, your feelings were still holding you down, you always fully believed that you had no soulmate, so you thought maybe you could sweep him off his feet. It was rumored that his scar covered up his own soulmate mark, so there was no way for him to know who his soulmate was.

Selfishly and embarrassingly, you hoped that you could have him.

Then you met your soulmate, and things changed.

But now you and your classmates were all eighteen and held the world in your hands, yet you couldn’t speak to him usually still.

“There’s no test today?” Shouto stilled, his eyes narrowing in confusion, and your eyes screwed too.

“Isn’t it… Friday? We have a Hero Law test?”

“Y/l/n,” Shouto snorted a grin spreading across his features, “It’s Wednesday.”

If there was a god, he would shoot you right now.

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment while you walked faster to the classroom, Shouto keeping up with your pace easily, he was taller than you after all.

“Shut up,” you warned, your gaze not reaching Shouto’s who was staring at you.

“I wasn’t speaking.”

“I could hear you thinking!”

Shouto put on a smirk, his eyes teasing you, and his mouth dropping to speak, but there was a loud interruption.

“Y/L/N-CHAAAANNNNNN!!!!”

Both of you turned to see Kaminari chasing after you, his arms waving, looking out of breath.

“YOU FORGOT YOUR JACKET AND TIE!”

Shouto chuckled beside you, and you stared down to see that you were, in fact, only wearing half of your uniform. If there’s a god, he will end you now, you thought.

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You're not serious right now, are you?

Going on three years of knowing your soulmate, or at the very least talking with him, you thought you had a good understanding of who he was. He was strong, powerful, and kind. He came off a bit standoffish at times but was the dumbest person you’ve ever known. Common sense was not his friend, and that was okay.

Even at times when the two of you had your differing opinions because it did happen, it never snowballed more into a small annoyance that the two of you would apologize for and move on. But this was something that shouldn’t have had become a fight, it shouldn’t have been anything more potent than a difference of opinion, but when you suggested entertaining the thought of when the two of you would finally meet, he was uncharacteristically cold.

Hurt by his tone, you told him, and he said you to grow up until it became this written fight.

Why couldn’t you talk about meeting?

Why didn’t he want to think about what would happen when the two of you would meet?

It was getting ugly for no reason, a fight just to fight, and it was making you nauseous.

But he crossed a line that couldn’t be fixed when he wrote a simple sentence:

Just because you’re my soulmate doesn’t mean I have to love you, meet you, or marry you.

So there you sat, your bottom lip trembling with tears streaking down your blotchy face. He wasn’t being serious, was he? There was no way… no fucking way this was him. The warmth that flooded your body with his new message felt ice-cold, poisoning you from the inside out while you read it.

You're my soulmate, but I have no obligation to do anything with you now or ever. The world chose you for me, not me. I didn’t choose you. I don’t owe you anything here. Soulmates are bullshit and don’t fucking bother messaging me again if you expect me to fall in love with you just because our “souls are connected”

It was needless to say that you didn’t respond back, not because you felt like he should love you because of your connected souls, but because your sobbing and broken emotions left you curled into a ball, ready for a sleepless slumber to take you.

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“You don’t look too hot,” Kaminari told you, hitting you with his foot when your bleary and puffy eyes stared at your best friend.

Kirishima and Mina, who were sitting beside him, elbowed him at the same time, berating him for his insensitive comment. You could feel Sero and Bakugou staring at you, their eyes concerned and curious.

“What’s eating ya up?” Sero asked, and you found a rock-forming in your throat when you shrugged.

“Soulmate problems…”

“That was fucking obvious,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, taking a drink of his water. “Tell us the problem, not a stupid summary.”

Surprisingly that’s all it took for you to come undone, and you explained what happened with tears falling down your face and a sniffling nose. There was a lot to tell them about it, and you showed them the pen while explaining the entire story. They listened to every word you uttered, faces concern but taking in everything you said.

“You’re an idiot,” Bakugou spoke the second you were finished, his eye twitching while he glared at you. You swallowed thickly, placing the pen on the table while Bakugou edged closer towards you. “He’s not wrong, you know, stupid fucking soulmates are just this irrational solution to an irrational problem. Love is much more complex than that, and you don’t seem to have been fighting for him in that way either, sure you seem like good friends, but that doesn’t give you the right to expect him to love you. But he was a complete fucking dick about it, so I say kill him.”

Your — and all of the rest of your friend group — eyes widened at his words. With nothing to follow him up, you all continued to stare at him while he munched on his food.

“WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING EXTRAS LOOKING AT!”

“Is Bakugou a love expert?” Mina’s stage whispered to the group.

“He almost was, but then he said to kill y/n’s soulmate, so probably not anymore,” Kirishima responded back.

“SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!”

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It took four days before the warm feeling shot through your body again.

Fuck, I'm really sorry, I was a complete fucking dick. I said a lot of things, and i didn’t mean to say I was angry and upset, and I know that you're upset, rightfully upset, but i don’t want to lose you.

No matter how long it took for him to get back to you, your heart squeezed with euphoria and poison, your hands moving to grab your pen in your pocket.

It wasn’t there.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

You tore apart your room, trying to find the silver pen but you couldn’t find it.

Stay as mad as you want, I just… please talk with me soon, even if it takes five days. I'm sorry, soulmate.

Frustrated tears poured down your face, nausea almost making you wheeze when you stared at the words you wanted to reply to.

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One day after he apologized:

Don’t want to bother you, just wanted to apologize again and say that I miss you, talk to you soon.

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Five days after he apologized:

I’m not really sure if this is normal or not… I'm not really… educated when it comes to romance and shit like that, especially when it comes to someone being upset with the other… my female classmates told me that I should expect a response from you soon. I'm really sorry, please write soon.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

So it seems that i’ve fucked up to the point of no return. I'm sorry, I miss you, I love you. Maybe one day I can reconvince you that I'm your soulmate for a good reason, but I guess I’ll have to work on that.

It had been fourteen days since he had apologized, and you sat in your room with tears streaming down your face. You wanted to respond back, but even fourteen days of tirelessly searching U.A.’s entire campus, ripping it stone by stone, there was no finding your pen. Every day without fail, he gave you an update of his day and another apology. Every day they got more hopeless, more pained.

This was his last message for a while, he needed time to work things out with himself now, the strain of this and graduation coming soon being too much to handle at the moment.

Wiping your tears for what felt like the hundredth time within this past twenty minutes, you stood up on your wobbly legs to go downstairs for water. You were dehydrated and absolutely needed to get out for both fresh air and water.

Walking down the stairwell with swollen eyes, you groaned when you slammed into a body when you opened the door to the common area.

Shouto blinked down at you, and you felt your throat clampdown at the pained look in his own eyes.

“Have you been—”

“Are you—”

You both spoke over each other, and despite the horrid feeling coursing through your bones, you cracked a smile.

“I’m getting water,” you explained with a shrug. “Long night ya know, just needed to replenish my system so I can cry some more.”

Shouto stared at you, and with horror, you realized precisely what you had said.

“Oh my god, ignore me!” you squeak, covering your face trying to move past him, but Shouto seemed to be curious now and followed after you.

“What’s making you cry?” he asked while you rush to the fridge to get your glass of water.

“What’s got you upset?” you counter downing the cup of water.

Shouto sighed, leaning against the counter of the island in the kitchen. “Would it be weird to say its soulmate issues?”

Swallowing the water in your mouth, you shook your head, a tired smile on your face, “Embarrassingly enough, my issue is also with soulmate stuff.”

A joyless chuckle escaped his mouth, and Shouto’s head tilted backward. You studied his jaw and the way his body seemed tense, too tense.

“What happened?” you press gently standing next to him, shouldering him gently.

“I fucked up, and now my soulmate won’t talk with me,” he says slowly, his head nodding while he glances at you. “I guess telling your soulmate you don’t want them is a bad thing.”

You snorted, nodding your head in agreement, “It’s not just a bad thing, its a super fucked up thing.”

Shouto sighed in agreement, and there was silence when you took another drink of your water.

“I didn’t know you were in contact with your soulmate, though,” you smile wistfully, your hand twirling the cup on the counter. “How’d you meet them?”

“I actually don’t know who they are,” Shouto admitted with pursed lips, and your eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “I have that soulmate thing where you write on your arm, and they can read it.”

Showing off his arm, you glanced at the pale skin. You nodded your head when he pulled out a silver pen that looked similar to yours.

“Well,” you shrug your shoulders, motioning him to write. “I’m no expert, but let’s see if I can help you get your soulmate to forgive you.”

“T-They haven’t responded to me in two weeks…” Shouto’s voice cracks, and the number burns a hole through your stomach. “I’ve written every day, but no answer. I don’t really know what to do, and all the girls in the class don’t really know what to do. Bakugou also said to go fuck myself over it, so I don’t think I really have had any help.”

Ignoring the twisting in your stomach, you willed your weirdness away to shuffle in your seat, “Well, you haven’t asked me, asshole, come on, let’s see what I can do.”

Shouto chuckles, his head nodding, “That is true, but to be fair, you’ve been anywhere, but in the dorm these past few weeks.”

“I lost something,” you mutter embarrassed, but you shake away your problems and point at his wrist. “Write an apology.”

You watched when he wrote, the words expressing his apology and love seeping through the silvery ink on his wrist. You told him to add things to delete things, but in the end, it ended up feeling like a genuine and sincere apology. You watched his pen leave his skin and a warmth shot through your arm.

Shivering, you looked at your arm, trying to see what your soulmate had written to you even though he said he was going to stop.

The words he wrote appeared on your skin.

Your eyes widened when you stared at Shouto, who was also staring at your arm.

Your eyes met in an almost world-altering way. This entire time, for three whole years, the two of you had been by each other and never knew. Midnight conversations wasted through ink instead of face to face. Your heart hammered in your throat, and tears once again poured from your eyes when you both stood at full height, staring at each other.

Todoroki Shouto was your soulmate — he was yours, and you were his.

“I’m so sorry, y/n, I don’t know what happened to me. You didn’t deserve that, and fuck, I’m so sorry—”

“I lost my pen, and I couldn’t respond back, I forgave you, but I had no way of reaching back! But I was always forcing myself onto you—”

You both interrupted the other, and now you stared at each other, drinking in the presence of each other and belittling yourselves for not knowing sooner; looking at it now, it was just so obvious. You can’t help it and pull him into a hug. His strong arms wrap around you, and you can hear his hammering heart on your ear, and it fills you up with the familiar warmth when he writes you. This seemed to be a brush of luck it seems.

“Can I kiss you, soulmate.”

“Please do.”

#todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki fluff #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader

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starlight-vixen-emiko · 3 years

Text

Team Miraculous Introduction

Hey all! This is coming out of nowhere.

Basically I had this fanfic chapter about the Lukanette and Adrigami fankids I created becoming the new wielders of the miraculous...And Marinette and Luka’s oldest son becoming the new Ladybug.

I am posting this because @lenoraishere said she wanted to write about him so I felt I may as well post this introduction chapter.

The reason why Halloween is mentioned is because this is an introduction chapter to a Halloween fanfic I wrote last year...Speaking of which that fanfic is still in my files and I do intend to finish it and publish it once Halloween rolls around. Soon my darlings!

So anyways I hope you guys enjoy...This was my first time writing fankids and I will be humble and say this may not be the best introduction.

I hope you enjoy it Lenora...Believe me this doesn’t count as your birthday gift I have something better planned. Then again I realize your birthday is fast approaching and I have lost track of time! Eep!

~~~~~

My name is Leon Couffaine-Cheng. If you haven't heard of me, I am the son of Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Luka Couffaine, otherwise known as Ladybug and Viperion, the protectors of Paris.

The best protectors in the world. But shortly after I turned 15, my mom told me she felt a "sign from the Miraculous box" or something. I still remember it. It seemed like a typical day with my parents and little sisters. Then my mom gave me a devious smile and showered me with compliments when I just wanted to go to school early.

She told me that the box chose me to be the newer holder of the Ladybug Miraculous.

I just didn't get it. I mean, being a superhero sounds cool and all. Still, I don't know why I, in particular, was chosen to be the Ladybug. Or, as much as Tikki disagrees, I call myself Luckybug.

I figured my 13-year-old sister Marina was more suited. She is a fiery tomboy with electric blue hair and long pigtails, and she can skate and bike through anything. But my dad smiled at her and said she was chosen to carry the snake miraculous, Sass. Which she happily accepted.

Then there is my youngest sister Melanie. A beautiful little 9-year-old girl, kind-hearted, mature, helps around the house, and likes to bake sweets.

I figured Melanie would be the new Ladybug since she is Ladybug's biggest fan. She was super close to her Ladybug dolls when she was younger.

But recently, Melanie discovered a connection to the mouse miraculous.

I figured if this whole Ladybug thing did not work out for me, my little sister could take her place. But my parents are already protective of her and would prefer she not be a superhero until she is older.

It was too much for me to take, and I just wanted to go to school and have a typical day with my friends.

I met up with my best friend Masamori first.

Masamori Tsurugi-Agreste. Son of Adrien Agreste and Kagami Tsurugi. Also known as Chat Noir and Ryuuko.

They are the second greatest heroes of Paris, as much as Uncle Adrien and Aunt Kagami hate it when I say that.

Masamori lit up as usual when he saw me and said. "You'll never guess Leon! My mother told me that I was called by the dragon kwami Long!"

Long floated out of Masa's necklace and greeted me with a bow.

I looked at Masa straight in the eye with a sullen face.

"Leon, what's wrong?" Masa yelped.

I was about to open my mouth, and then Tikki appeared in front of me.

"I have been chosen to be Leon's partner!" Tikki said.

Masamori was overjoyed, but I couldn't help but vent to him about how this was a lot to take in. I question why I was chosen instead of Melanie.

We sat on a bench, and Masa gave me a pep talk. "This is a huge responsibility Leon, but I believe you can take it. There is a bigger reason for this, and weirder things have happened!"

As we walked through the crowd of students, I suddenly became self-conscious about the earrings I had to wear.

I covered my ears and said, "My dad can make earrings work, but I can't."

"You never looked better, Leon!" Masamori said.

I groaned under my breath and continued walking.

And then, just when I thought I could catch my breath.

"Leon! Take a look!" Masa said.

Up ahead was the recent transfer student Jinfeng. A beautiful Chinese girl with shiny long hair.

Now I felt even more self-conscious. I just wanted to hide my ears and run away. But I dropped my bag mid-escape and had no choice but to grab it. I had no idea Jinfeng was behind me.

"Leon," she said in a voice that made my heart skip a beat. "I love those earrings. They really suit you."

I turned out of politeness and tried to keep a benign expression, but I felt a big drop of sweat on my forehead and the back of my neck.

"Thank you for saying that!" I blurted out.

I realized it was a bit more frantic than I expected since she stepped back, looking a bit concerned.

Masamori gave me a bit of a push to get away.

"Come on, Leon, we have to head back to class!" Masamori cried.

After school, we met up with my sister Marina and Masamori's 13-year-old younger sister Erina. She is a blonde-haired Japanese-French girl, like someone out of an anime.

She spent nearly an entire summer in Japan and was lucky Marina was still best friends with her. She became the holder of the black cat miraculous. Sometimes we would team up, like my mom and Uncle Adrien teaming up back in the day, and I would joke about her being a cute kitty. Which she replied with, "Shut up, Bug Boy!"

"You're really good at scaring off girls with your cold demeanor, Lee-Kun!" Erina said.

Marina and Erina playfully laughed at my romance issues. Marina and Erina always caused mischief together. At least I had Masamori to get me out of mischief.

"Well, Erina and I are going to hang out tonight," Marina said.

Marina walked away with a skateboard in hand, and Erina had her kendo sword.

"I am not covering for you tonight!" I said.

Marina groaned and shrugged. "Fine!" She spat.

Masamori joined me in walking back to my house, where, as expected, my sister Melanie was watching movies with Masamori's youngest brother, Aiden Tsurugi-Agreste.

A boy mature for his age despite being only 9. Since Agreste-san and Tsurugi-san are usually busy with work, Aiden usually spends time here with Melanie. The two are inseparable friends watching movies here and making baked goods.

Melanie and Aiden looked at us as we came in.

"Hi Mel Mel," I said. "Hi, Aiden."

Melanie lit up. "Big brother!" She held her adorable little hands up. "I am so happy you're home safe. I hope nothing dangerous happened."

I sighed. "Nothing happened today, Mels." Just the way I like it.

"Luckybug is the great new hero of Paris!" Melanie said triumphantly. "Just like Mama was!" Melanie looked so incredibly starstruck.

Aiden smiled. "Yeah, it was great how you saved our school from The Food Fighter."

All I remember from that is bananas in my hair and stepping in gross puddles of spinach.

"I can take you home now, Aiden," Masamori said.

Aiden crossed his arms. "Five more minutes!"

Surprisingly Aiden hasn't felt a connection to a kwami. Which I guess isn't a terrible thing since Aiden is such a good boy, and I can't imagine him fighting anyone. But he is still an honorary member of Team Miraculous, so he deserves mention. That and he has been so good to my beloved younger sister.

Why am I bringing this up, you may ask? Because this Halloween is our first Halloween being miraculous holders. I just hope no weird Halloween akumatization happens that night. I just want to spend Halloween with my friends and my family. That isn't too much to ask for, right?!

"Mel-Chan!" Aiden cried. "I wonder what Halloween is going to be like for Team Miraculous."

Melanie smiled at Aiden as if she was just as excited over the idea. "Maybe the streets will be filled with walking skeletons, talking pumpkins, and ghosts Ai-Kun!"

I was flabbergasted! Melanie and Aiden treated this like this was a fun Halloween episode of a cartoon.

Akumas can make any event weird and freaky, and I am nervous just thinking about what could happen on Halloween night. It could be a scarier Halloween night than we could ever imagine.

Author’s Note: I apologize if this isn’t perfect. Honestly I didn’t care as much about making this pitch perfect because I wasn’t planning on publishing it on my ao3.

But yes I was considering writing a next generation fanfic.....Of course that sounds a bit nervewracking to me.

Yes there is a bit of a history repeats itself thing going on with Leon having a highschool crush...Granted recently I decided to make Leon bi and give him a male love rival as well but in this fanfic I couldn’t find a way to put the male love rival in just yet so I left that part out.

#pro lukamari #lukanette #adrigami #well ok adrien and kagami aren't present here sorry!#they will be present in the halloween fanfic though #endgame lukanette #endgame adrigami #lukanette fankids #adrigami fankids #my writing #my fanfiction

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yandere-wishes · 4 years

Text

Yandere Reaction 💖Darling Signing A Contract With Azul💖

How would Yandere Leona, Carter, Jamil and Riddle react to their darling escaping and trying to sign a contract with Azul to reclaim their freedom.

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Leona is annoyed, he woke up from his nap to see that you had disappeared. Your side of the bed was cold, your sent barely clinging to the sheets. He sighs when he realizes that you must have left quite some time ago. What a hassle now he's going to have to actually look around for you it's too much work! But the lingering promise of punishment does make a rabid excitement build up inside him causing his muscles twitch and ears to perk up.

The first thing he does is call Ruggie and have him start asking around the, trying to pry information from the other member of his dorm. He'll also enlist Jack, giving him a piece of your clothes or some piece of jewelry he may have bought you, anything that has preserved your sweet, intoxicating aroma. Being the all so good, always eager to please guard dog that he is, Jack will follow your scent all over Night Raven College. With Leona lethargically following behind.

eventually, the invisible trail leads them straight to the Octavinelle dormitory. Of course, Leona is displeased with this, not only is the place under freaking water! But the worst most calculating, conniving person lives there. The school's very own loanshark, Azul Ashengrotto! To say that Leona is displeased is an understatement, he's downright furious! What the hell are you try to do? Sign a freaking contract with the devil! Are you so desperate to trade away your goddam soul! Really it's not so much that Leona cares exactly what Azul asks from you, rather it's the notion that you'll belong to someone other than himself that makes hin charge inside the Mostro Lounge. Claws out, teeth bare, ready for a fight.

The sight awaiting him is just infuriating. There you are seating all meek pen in hand, eyes wide, fear and panic dancing over your face, like a little doomed rabbit. While Azul looms over you, that calculating avaricious smirk plastered on his pale face.

"Ah, senior Leona how nice of you to join us. Would you like some refreshments? Tea, coffee maybe some milk?"

Leona doesn't respond he's too agitated, too vexed. He runs up to your shacking form, grabbing your wrist, pulling you forcefully to his side. In the midst of the moment, he's calm having you back in his arms makes the carnivorous fury die down. He gently kisses your head, lingering a second too long before he's throwing you over to Jack.

He's in Azul's face, threatening to skin him alive and throw him to the hyenas to eat if he ever even think about scamming Leona's beloved into another contract. He rips the parchment in front of the sea witch then processes to march back to where you and your wolf bodyguard are standing.

Leona's a lot rougher now, squishing you to his side as the three of you depart back to your "home". Leona just can't comprehend why you would sign that contract.

He's never done anything to hurt you

He's never

so why? Why are you so desperate to get away from him?! It downs on him when he's dragged you back into savanclaw territory. In the middle of his rage, he realizes just why you're all so eager to reclaim your precious freedom. You're lying on the cracked rough ground, holding your bleeding cheek where he just struck you. You're crying and trembling, it almost makes him want to stop, almost makes him want to hug you close to his chest promising everything will be all right. But he doesn't instead he kicks you with enough force to turn you over onto your back. He lifts his foot crushing down on your arm. Relishing in the cracking of bones and your screams of pain.

Leona's reaction differs from moment to moment, one second he's simply annoyed and the next he's choking on his rage. He knows that he has to change a bit, to be sweeter, nicer to show a bit more empathy if he truly wants to keep you as his queen.

Carter's in a sheer frenzy, he's stunned speechless when he sees you walk over to the Mostro Lounge manager. But instead of ordering drinks like you were supposed to do, you're chatting up Azul about something that he can't hear.

It's nervewracking watching the two of you. Carter can't quite tell what expression you're wearing but he knows that the Azul is giddy about something, smiling and laughing. Oh god, what are you talking about! It's only when he sees Azul retrieve parchment and his signature golden fish pen that he realizes just what is happening.

Carter is quick to react, he's sprung to his feet and by your side before your fingers can even graze the murky colored contract. His arms are wrapped protectively around you, squeezing with just an ounce more force then they need to be. His shimmering emerald eyes are glaring daggers at Azul, but his tone is as cheerful and preppy as always.

"Azul-chan you know it's rude to take advantage of naive first years right?~ innocent little (y/n) doesn't understand how your contracts operate yet~"

"Actually they do Carter, tell me what in the great sea witch's name have you done to poor unfortunate (Y/N), for them to be so desperate to get away from you? So much so, that they are willing to trade they're special ability for?"

That hurt...

It felt worst than a kick to the stomach...

Worst then when his pictures only got 100 likes...

worst then Riddle's loud screams...

You...You were trying to run away from him? Carter's heartbroken, he can't stand the thought of you not loving him. Heck, you hate him so much that you're willing to trade away your ability to be apart from him!

Once you get back to Heartslabyul, he's hectic. Shacking you with tears in his eyes, demanding to know why you don't love him! "What have I done wrong? Do you love someone else is that it!" He makes accusation after accusation trying to find out just why you're desperate to be rid of him.

Never once does he consider that it could be because his presence suffocates you. That simply standing next to him, strips your lungs of air, drives your brain into a historical fit! And you don't tell in fear of further angering him.

Carter's reaction is heartbroken mania, he's sad, angry, determined to fix things, everything at the same time. He'll try all so hard to mend things between the two of you. Shower you in gifts, take you outside more often, even give you some more freedom. ANYTHING as long as you will love him again!

Jamil actually finds it rather funny when you try to beg Azul for a contract. Oh, sure he knew what you would do the moment he saw you slip away from his side while he was preoccupied with Kalim. He knew you would run straight to the sea witch, ready to get on your knees and plead for a contract. You were willing to humiliate yourself in any way imaginable so long as you could escape Jamil's clutch.

Jamil's eyes follow you as you walk over the counter and whisper something in Jade's ear. He knows everything that's about to unfold. Knows how Azul will bring out some parchment and his golden pen and "nicely" state the terms of service. He knows all this yet chooses to sit idly by. He wants you to get as close to your freedom as possible, practically graze it before he snatches it away for good this time. Cause after the stunt you're pulling there is no way in hell that Jamil is ever letting you leave the Scarabia dormitory ever again.

And sure enough, it goes exactly as planned. Azul walks out ready to grant you "your one true wish" all posed and gentleman like...except he's leaning way to close. His lips are brushing against your ear. His thin pale fingers are reaching out to grab your own pulling them towards himself.

It's that moment that Jamil reacts, that he realizes that you've played your little game long enough. He slams his hands on the table, causing Kalim to jump spilling his drink and the other customers to turn around all holding their breaths for a magic fight to break out.

Just like everyone else Azul slowly pulls away from you, eyes trained on Jamil a smirk dangling on his charming face. Your vacant eyes stare back into the dark ones of the sand mage. You know your fate, know the penalty for the crim you commented. Despite what Jamil may think he knows, you were always one fragmented step ahead. You knew you would never be free, knew that you would always be confined in Jamil's cave of wonders.

Reluctantly you heave yourself to your feet, breaking the thick silence with the screeching of the chair legs along the marble floor. You gradually trudge back to the table where the man who owns you is awaiting impatiently.

"Don't test me (y/n)"

His lips brush over the shell of your ear sending a cold shiver up your spin. His breath cresses the soft flesh of your neck as he places a teasing kiss over one of the visible love bites he left not so long ago. Jamil's fingers dig into your sides, sizing you up as tightly as he could. You where sure there would be bruises by the time he let go, there always was. Slowly his fingers snaked around your waist pushing you flat against his chest, smoldering your face in the fabric of his shirt.

"That goes for you too Azul"

His voice was oddly modulated, kept barely above a hush, you wonder how he expects Azul to be able to hear from across the room. It's a haughty laugh that answers your question. The voice is much closer then you anticipated. Silk covered fingers tangle themselves in your lock as you hear the manger of the Mostro Lounge speak up. "You may consider keeping sweet little (y/n) on a shorter lease, that way she won't accidentally find her self trapped in my grasp."

Suffice it to say he does, Jamil grants the exact opposite of your wish. He steals the minuscule fragments of freedom you had left, keeping you constantly by his side, arms always wrapped around your waist tight enough to make walking an uncomfortable feat.

Jamil's reaction is one just amusement, sure he feels betrayed but that feeling has long become nostalgic for the young man. There really isn't much you could say or do to get under his skin. But there is all so much he can do to get under your skin and he'll be dame sure to leave some marks!

Riddle is furious when he sees you talking to Azul before history class. His blood is boiling coursing through his body like molten lava, heartbeat had quickened sounding like the march of card soldiers faster! His fingers are wrapped in fists by his side, knuckles turning as white as the white rabbit's fur. His posture is stiff, spin too straight shoulders pulled back until they're about to pop from their sockets.

The redhead could barely stand the thought of you talking to his closets friends let alone the most conniving man in all of Night Raven! He's prepared to shut the whole thing down in a moment, ready to stomp over to Azul and rescue you from his web of lies. But then he hears it, those soul-shattering words. They stop him in his tracks, steal the life from his loins. He couldn't even believe his ear at first. Surely he was going mad!

" I want to be free, as far away from Riddle and his stupid rules as possible! Please Mr. Ashengrotto won't you help me! I'll sign any contract, give you anything you deem a suitable price just please save me from Riddle!"

Riddle's heart is broken tears prick at the side of his dark blue eyes. Ready to tumble and fall. His mouth has gone dry stripped of all he was going to say. He wasn't your knight in shining armor no he was the beast that had abducted you, stolen you from those you loved.

"Not to worry you poor unfortunate soul lose of freedom as a situation can be corrected, I simply need you to sign--"

Maybe it was the was what Azul said, made it was the adrenaline that was surging through his veins. Either way, Riddle screamed his voice cracking, lungs burning, yet he still screamed after you to stop!

"Don't you dare sign that contract (y/n) Or it'll be off with your head!"

Your freeze finger floating in midair just millimeters away from the golden pen. A heavy sigh leaves your lips, you knew you would never reach your freedom again but still, you tried and ended up with a broken heart.

Riddle is quick to jog over to the two of you, his fingers grab your shoulder and push you back against his chest. He's trying so hard to look strong, to be the knight that you deserve. He doesn't want to show any weakness in front of Azul but he just can't wipe the heartache away.

Riddle really wants you to love him, he's delusional thinking that making you follow all these rules will benefit you in the long run. He wants you to be safe and perfect to be a fit ruler by his side! But he also wants you to be happy and fall for him on your own accord.

Riddle's reaction is pure heartache and heartbreak. He doesn't punish you, just some empty threats and words of advice (in the tone off ear-splitting shouts) The whole affair may actually make him nicer he'll try to give you a bit more freedom. He lets you outside more, sometimes even takes you somewhere off-campus. Sure he's always around in some way but from time to time he may "wander off" in the opposite direction and give you the relaxing semblance of being alone.

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dogboy-willgraham · 3 years

Note

Prompt: "No, no, stop. Don't fight it."

(This was done in Spite of the gods who almost killed this shit.)

One small meeting with Heaven. That’s all it was. A quick pop in and back out, back home to cuddle with Crowley and have tea and forget the nervewracking moments spent. He didn’t have to like it, Crowley didn’t have to know, he just had to keep Heaven from getting any more upset and doing something else to him, or more importantly, his family.

“Ah, Aziraphale, it’s...nice to see you again,” A voice greeted from behind him.

Aziraphale froze at the voice, his heart rate picked up, and he stood up straighter, even for his already board like posture. This wasn’t how he should feel, he had spit fire at him for Her sake. (Well, Crowley had, but it had been his body.) But old feelings die hard it seemed.

“A-ah, eh, hello, Gabriel,” Aziraphale turned to face him. “It’s uh, good to see you too,”

“I’m glad you came,” Gabriel said. “I know we’ve had our...differences, but I hope we can move those aside for the time in the name of Heavenly good. You can do that, can’t you Aziraphale?” He leaned down, a plastic grin on his face.

Aziraphale squeezed his hand together, it was going to be okay, he didn’t have to let Gabriel step on him, he just had to keep him happy, and it would be okay. “Of course,”

Gabriel set a hand on his back. “Come with me Aziraphale,”

Aziraphale breathed deeply and walked. He just had to deal with it, and then he could go home and replace the sensation with Crowley’s hands.

“You know, since you abandoned your post on Earth, in a way, we have been struggling to find anyone who wants to replace you,” Gabriel began. “No one seems to enjoy the idea of keeping watch over a place that should’ve been cleared for our victory, or with a demon who isn’t affected by holy water,”

They turned into an empty room, not even windows showing a endlessly sunny noon sky or a chair. It was strangely dark, even for the blank white walls.

“I-I’m not sure how I’m supposed to help with that?”

“Oh, I think I do,” Gabriel gripped his neck and pulled him close to his chest. Aziraphale struggled, trying to pull Gabriel’s arms from his neck, fighting to get out.

“Stop!” Aziraphale cried out, fighting harder.

“No, no, stop. Don’t fight it Aziraphale,” Gabriel hushed, squeezing harder. “Just be a good little traitor and let it happen,”

Aziraphale’s vison started to darken, and his fighting weakened, his fingers barely prying at the arm. “S...st...stop,” He gasped for air, and nothing came. He went limp as his vison went black.

“Good angel,” Gabriel praised, letting the body slide to the floor at his feet. He knelt down and grabbed the tuff of blonde hair. “You know, you could’ve prevented this. I didn’t want to make you do what you were supposed to, but I have to. Your demon is going to suffer dearly and you will be completely responsible,”

Gabriel stood, and his body was on the floor. He looked at his hands, they were Aziraphale’s. It had worked, he would have to thank Michael later. He snapped and a mirror appeared. His eyes were still purple, but it wouldn’t matter much.

Gabriel turned to leave, but stopped short of the door. He snapped once more and ropes tied themselves around the body Aziraphale was inhabiting. “Aziraphale, a word of advice when you get this thing back, really, lose the gut. Oh, and get a few inches, try to see the top of the shelf for once,” Gabriel laughed, and then left.

Crowley paced the backroom, a spin of thoughts running through his mind. Aziraphale had been gone for hours, without a explanation or word from the angel.

He had tried checking for Aziraphale’s presence three times now, nothing each time. A void in the world where a warm essence should be. Heaven, the name rang in his head, an ever tolling bell. Heaven, Heaven, Heaven.

“Dad?” Crowley looked up and saw Warlock standing in the doorway. “Are you okay?”

Crowley smiled a little. “Uh, yeah, just, thinking hellspawn,”

“Do you know when pop’s coming home?” Warlock asked. “It’s just been a bit since I’ve seen him around, and you know-”

Crowley yanked Warlock close to his chest suddenly. The bell hadn’t rung, but Crowley could feel someone else had entered the shop, someone supernatural.

“Dad what is it-”

“Go upstairs Warlock,”

Warlock looked at him, confused. “Why?”

“Just go upstairs, stay in your room, stay quiet,” Crowley said. “Please,”

“I don’t understand-”

“Trust me, Warlock, just do it,” Crowley looked at him, pleading eyes.

“O-okay,” Warlock stuttered.

“Thank you,” Crowley watched Warlock run off as he was told, and waited until he heard the click of the door. He snapped, ensuring it was locked.

He walked out of the backroom, poking into the shop without announcing himself. He gasped, Aziraphale stood there, scanning the area with a steely glare.

His hand twitched, he wanted nothing more than to run to Aziraphale and take him into his arms, apologize for his paranoia and enjoy the day with them. But it was wrong. This wasn’t right. That wasn’t Aziraphale. It wasn’t his warm, soft essence.

Those weren’t his eyes.

Unless Aziraphale had changed up his corporation lately, his eyes specifically. Of that, Crowley was certain he hadn’t.

“Crowley? Where are you?”

His voice, but wrong. Like someone had taken his body but hadn’t bothered to learn how to actually be Aziraphale-

Oh god.

“Shit,” Crowley whispered. They figured it out, or at least how to do it. If Crowley was guessing right, The Archangel ‘Pain in my fucking ass’ Gabriel was in Aziraphale’s body. “Shit shit shit,”

Gabriel walked around, looking for Crowley. “My love? Are you here?”

Crowley cursed again under his breath, and slithered away, behind Gabriel. He had to get rid of Gabriel, but he wasn’t happy with the idea of hurting Aziraphale’s form. Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he had to do something he didn’t want with Aziraphale’s form.

It was almost too easy to get rid of Gabriel. A quick snap, it sickened Crowley, but he just had to imagine it was Gabriel’s neck and not Aziraphale’s.

He was gentle with the husk Gabriel left behind, healing the broken bones. Crowley tried not to look too hard into the empty eyes, or focus on the lack of warmth or movement. He couldn’t. Not while Aziraphale needed him.

Crowley didn’t want to talk about what happened on his way to Aziraphale’s holding place. it would be very long anyhow. In short, quite a few angels were discorporated and one wasn’t coming back. Unfortunately, that angel wasn’t Gabriel.

He would get that later.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale whispered, his cold body was slowly warming, and he was whole and live again. Crowley didn’t think he’d be able to keep his eyes off him for a while, drinking in a life he’d almost lost.

“Hey angel,” Crowley greeted, smiling. “We’re almost home,”

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t tell you-”

“Don’t, angel, this isn’t your fault,” Crowley said. “Just rest,”

“But-”

“Hush,” Crowley said. “It’s going to be okay,”

#good omens #gabriel #crowley #aziraphale #warlock #ineffable husbands #tw death #forced bodyswap #sorry if the end is bad it is late #ask to tag in case i missed anything

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tigerdrop · 3 years

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u know u could put out the weirdest most fucked up shit and we would still love it. obviously don't share stuff if it makes u uncomfortable but for every single thing you find embarrassing there's something several times worse

i really hope ur ready to stand by these words b/c im about to tell you about.......showdog dogboy gordon. for five thousand fucking words

look. listen. hear me out. my dear kogo introduced me to an idea and it has not left my mind since: showdog......dogboy......gordon

like.........you know.......its about. dogboy. submitting while benrey dolls him up and makes him look nice. maybe hes been a lot......fuzzier since he got forcibly nintendogged. and maybe benrey cracks a joke about it, maybe the joke gets pulled out a little too far. b/c its the two of them, and thats what they do. its jokes. games. jokes being riffed upon and thinly-veiled dares being issued until gordon freeman finds himself standing awkwardly next to a grooming table in nothing but his underwear while benrey tells him to chill the fuck out. puts that collar on him. after all, he wants to look nice for his friend, right? they say a dog is mans best friend

this definitely would not be the first time a joke or a game went too far and they ended up fucking at the end of it, but this is......this is a whole level beyond. this is definitely, like. theres a Lot going on here. but neither of them are breaking character yet so

and. you know. if youre feeling really insane. like me. if youre feeling just fucking diseased. you can make benrey.......pretty big here. make gordon dogy-sized next to him. not like, tiny, but enough that gordon, ordinarily a Big Guy, feels......small. a little emasculated

and.....yknow. gordon could be collared and chained to the table. like a real dog. not a lot of slack on that thing. and maybe hed be.......muzzled, too. if hes the kind of dogboy that gets snippy at scissors

its really good also for.....benrey being fully clothed and gloved up while gordons almost entirely bare. i know dog groomers dont strictly have to wear gloves. but still. not that it was really going to stop me if he wouldnt actually have a reason to wear gloves. i would make him anyway b/c ive lost all dignity

ITS ABOUT. THE HORNY FUCKING GAME. like they could talk about it if, if they wanted, if they were normal about it, b/c in this scenario they have absolutely fucked it out before (b/c i cant imagine any other fucking way gordon freeman acquiesces to this unless hes Aware that theres gonna be dick touching involved), but they are not normal and they are not going to break kayfabe even if it kills them

and like......i think the muzzle thing is......good. its really really good. b/c benrey can get real fuckin mean and tell him that hes gonna have to be a good boy and keep his teeth to himself if he wants it off so that benrey can make him look less like shit

those new canines of his are awful pointy. is gordon sure he can handle it? can he get a grip on his dogy side for fucking long enough to let benrey take a straight razor to his face? of course he can, he thinks, b/c hes not a fucking dog, okay, hes still a guy, and hes here to prove it and just. behave. while benrey manhandles him and grooms him and brushes out his fur and files his fucking nails. hes not in thrall to his instincts whether they be animalistic or vulgar. and hes definitely not going to cave and ask benrey to touch his fucking dick while he does this

> i enjoy the thought of benrey posing gordon as he pleases but never directly touching him, lifting his leg to get under his upper thigh or stretching the skin of his belly taut as not to nick him. so concentrated on gordon but feigning ignorance to his building arousal, ignoring it

> that art jordan did where gordon is on the table and has the collar on. his chest is shaved into the shape of a heart and that made me so DFUCKING CRAZY I STARTED BARKING AND SNARLING AKLSJAKDJFS

YEAH.....ITS......its shaved into a heart on purpose. and i left that in the first version i posted but nobody said anything about it so i just whistled and walked away

> LIKE. the emasculation of it....the fucking. possesiveness. theres also an undercurrent of like tenderness to it that made me fucking go apeshit

its such a fucking power move too. like. thats not gonna grow out for awhile. every time gordon freeman looks in the mirror for the next few weeks hes gonna be reminded of how fuckin debased he was

just..............consider........the trust hed have to put in benrey for it........benrey holding gordons jaw very firmly in his hand and showing him the straight razor and being like "yo.......uhh......this things sharp. dont wanna make a mess......better, better sit real fuckin still. sit boy. dont move." and sitting rigidly after benrey says something like that while tilting his jaw up to look directly athim is one of the hardest things gordons done in his life. hes sweating and hes making himself dizzy by trying not to breathe too much

he can just......he can see exactly where gordons jugular is fluttering madly under the razor and where gordons adams apple bobs as benrey skims stubble off his throat and rest assured that benrey is getting off on this just as much as gordon is

big......big hands on his face.....turning him every which way.......running his thumb over the clean line of his jaw to feel the results..........i think its just, its a cool scenario. to think about. but instead of this being just a normal "gordon freeman gets shaved" scenario, hes half naked and chained to a table and also has dog ears for some fucking reason

but also this is just like......his face. its the "trimming him everywhere" thats the really fun part

> like...the moving down his body....touching almost clinically by moving part of him around to get everything...yknow....

casual.....clinical.......nervewracking to be on the receiving end of

> thinking about him having to restrain his horny is fun, but it’s especially fun when you think about how he’d spend hours like that, hard and dripping, since friend benrey wants to be so through

> YES CLINICAL, ALMOST INDIFFERENT

fucking. hours. of just laying there anxiously running his mouth and laughing and gasping when benrey moves him like its nothing or touches him somewhere that makes him jump......like.......benrey with something whirring as loudly as those clippers in his hand doesnt exactly inspire confidence......but hes weirdly good at what hes doing and hes got a broad palm flat on gordons stomach to hold him in place/get him to chill out......but it just makes gordon sweat and flush and hes trying so hard to stay still b/c benrey keeps demeaning him when he squirms too much......like, what, is he scared? thinks benreys gonna cut his other arm off with a pair of hair clippers? get real. calm down maybe.

but thats not really the reason why hes acting weirdly ticklish about the whole procedure. (its because of the Scenario, man. gordons trying so hard to be normal in the face of the awareness that this is one of the most insane things hes ever gotten hard for, but we all know how strung out this dude gets at even relatively normal shit. so much so that benrey will just stare at him blankly and ask "uhhh, stop moving please? thank you?" b/c gordons so handsy ordinarily and he keeps trying to move his hands when he talks)

> listen. what if he....absentmindedly like...pet. him. on the stomach. just doing the motion cause it soothes normal dogs so when he feels gordon squirming he strokes heavily down. repetitive...but hes not even focusing on that, hes like intent on getting the part hes trimming just right gordon freezes up and stops breathing for a second to flush all over. benrey’s hand is so hot on his stomach, and he can only focus on how good it feels,

> squirmy because he feels like he’s gonna die if his dick doesn’t get touched and all his instincts are screaming to disobey and hump benrey into the ground (not like he physically can with the restraints but)

eventually benreys gonna have to get down to brass tacks and shave and trim all of him

> and like the whole time. the whole goddamn time gordons just in his boxers absolutely throbbing with it and like. benrey's hand moves to his stomach and like the waistband of his boxers. yeah. all of him.

can you imagine. gordon freeman desperately trying not to be horny while his best friend kneels between his legs and hooks those fingers in his waistband and starts peeling them off and completely fucking failing at it but hes still gotta try, right. whether hes cis or trans this idiot is so horny that his underwear is just. ruined

> i still cant stopr thinking abt. in the pictures you drew jordan. the way benrey is. delicately touching gordons dick/pussy to get a better angle for shaving

Y. YEAH. ITS POTENT. IMO. gordon having to pretend like hes not fucking horny in the slightest while benrey just kind of clinically moves his dick around and laughs at him when it twitches......ITS A LOT.

> the amount of willpower gordon is exercising not to fuck up into benrey’s palm when he’s loosely holding his dick to shave all the hair around it is honestly impressive

hes trying so fucking hard. hes shaking. look at him. tail thumping weakly against the table

just......like......i was thinkin about benrey getting gordon stripped bare while he stammers and rambles because he is so very fucking turned on right now and hes so embarrassed by this that he just stares firmly at the ceiling and humiliates himself ranting about how its a totally normal response and plenty of guys get erections during prostate exams and benrey has no idea what the fuck hes talking about

> this was th. part. ...benrey ignoring his boner and his rambling like "yeah alright. stay still for this part though for real" and gets to work. gordon absolutely mortified but hes breathing real shallow cause he doest want to get nicked here of all places so. and benrey placing a hand on his thigh to push them open further so that he can get a better angle and gordon's leg shakes. its quiet until benrey says to himself "'youre bein still. 's good." and gordon's dick visibly twitches at that and he shuts his eyes quickly and turns his face away. also i was still thinkin,,,,bout how the little praise straight up goes to gordon's head and his tail might also thump a lil faster on the table.

> would benrey notice? probably. maybe not say anything at first but just let a real evil smirk spread on his face, laughing a little. and then say lowly when hes focused on his work, "really like that huh. lil dogboy. you like being good?" and gordon lets out a harsh breath, stomach jumping. doesnt respond but his tail moves even faster. benrey's wrist brushes the head of his dick and he lets out a small sound, which turns strangled then he actually takes his hand and presses his dick to the side so he can get right below his stomach. its detached, hes just holding it pressed to the crease of his hip, but gordon's dick throbs under his palm and dribbles precome against the gloved fingers

> Okay, so, part of the grooming process is, of course, bathing the dog. And luckily, Benrey has a wonderful tool to help him with this. A hand-held shower hose with a lovely little shower head with very nice settings to help our little showdog get... clean.

> Imagine, if you will: Gordon, on all fours and chained up to keep him upright as Benrey slowly, methodically, wets him down. Lathers him up. Works his hands all over his body, from tail tip to the top of his head. Massaging into his belly. Rubbing inside his thighs. Cleaning every part of him. Every part.

> And the shower head occasionally dips down, pulsing, right to a sweet spot between Gordon’s legs, the closest thing he’s got to attention the entire time they’ve been playing this game. He’s so close, so GODDAMN close to getting what he wants, but every time Benrey realizes he’s getting somewhere... ... He moves it. To spray his back. His head. His chest. Anywhere but where Gordon wants it.

> Gordon is shaking. His legs are trembling, the table is wet and slick. He’s having such a hard time staying up on all fours, he’s panting and begging and losing his footing and EVERY TIME he loses his footing, well, the collar and chain choke him and force him right back up. And Benrey is just watching. Grinning.

> Waits for him to get his composure.

> And does it again.

just......like.......jesus. gordon would be. shaking. his whole body. panting like a dog. trying so hard to stay still. but he keeps trying to spread his legs wider when benrey reaches his thighs and he keeps slipping and accidentally choking himself and hes nearly at the breaking point trying to keep himself together but benrey runs a big, warm hand along his side and makes a passing comment on what a good boy hes being and gordon almost fucking yells from how overwhelmed he gets

i want gordon freeman fucking obliterated. i want him to suffer first from benrey jerking him around and then being made to jerk himself around, trying and failing to keep his shit together.....and when benrey tells him sumn like, hey no, dont lay down........even if your arms and legs are shakin, you gotta stay up bro.......its so fuckin demeaning and gordon just spits out "im trying!" and benrey buries his free hand in gordons hair like hes gonna tug in retaliation, but instead he just scratches gordons scalp in a way that feels really fucking good and asks "you gonna bite? huh? gonna bite me? when im treatin you so nice......jeez, man" and that takes him back from the brink a little

hes just always keeping gordon on his toes. switching settings. dragging it out and making gordon shake from head to toe, sometimes putting on one of those real powerful pulsing jets to overstimulate him and make gordon yelp and just work him up into a trembling mess struggling to stay upright. snarling in ugly frustration when benrey yanks the showerhead away just as gordons starting to Get There. it feels like it must have been hours that hes been being bathed like this and teased from occasional glancing sprays with the waterhead to direct stimulation while benrey chuckles at him and just blandly comments "youre shaking." and gordon stammers out hotly "of course im fucking shaking, you keep fucking with me and i just wanna--" and benrey takes him by the chin and makes gordon look up at him and says, laughing at him under his breath, "dogs dont talk, bro"

ike.......at this point u might think "surely thats enough. throw the guy a bone." and that maybe, now, gordon freeman will get his dick touched like he deserves. you owuld be wrong. benreys not done here. gordons gotta come down from that table, get toweled off. and when benrey unclips that leash from the table, gordon just fucking collapses. his arms and legs cant really hold him up right now......hes being strung out like a violin, drawn to maximum tautness before being let go all at once just before he snaps.

and this is where benrey plays a little nice.......dries him off and blowdries him a little, brushing out his hair and his tail. hes committed to the bit, okay? he said he was gonna make his best bro look nice, so hes gonna make gordon look nice. this whole time hes letting gordon come back down.....and its......its kind of frustrating, if benreys just gonna decide to leave him like this and drag him outta here and call that the end of the game, but its not the worst thing in the world right now. for the first time in hours hes not being asked to do something. he doesnt even really have to move his own arms and legs.

but No. hes still not done. theres something theyre forgetting........gotta clip your nails, bro. its the last thing on benreys docket, and gordons embarrassed for a different (but taxonomically similar) reason. all the personal attention and the bizarre intimacy of it makes gordons mouth start running, just to get his mind off it. pretend to be normal! surely thats gonna work when the guy who nearly gave him a nervous breakdown from being edged and toyed with beyond belief is now at his feet, filing nails and running curious thumbs over the tendons and muscles. benreys almost more lost in it than gordon is at this specific point. (hes been doing nothing but jerking gordon around and its hard work. he deserves this.)

gordons been good. really fuckin good. didnt even nip his fingers. benreys best friend deserves a treat.

> look. hes been so fucking good the whole time. not moving and not touching himself, not breaking the tension they have with each other, staying so still. i think he deserves something nice. but like gordon doesnt expect it, he expects to just be jerked around and let go. benrey tells him to stay on the table and he complains about it like "im done now. you. you said we were done" but benrey comes back with a fresh pair of gloves and gordon tenses until benrey places a hand on his chest and tells him to calm down. he was good. rubs at his chest and stomach, slowly pushing him down onto the table while gordon squeaks when benrey parts his legs. hes mostly soft now but he hears benrey doing something and then rubbing a slick finger around his hole and he lets out a little "oh god. oh god. " that turns into a moan when he presses in.

> gordon's calmed down a bit but its goddamn embarrassing how quickly he gets wet again, dick throbbing a little. and i think. hm. i think it would be very fun to do overstimulation in this way now too since hes been edged so much that hes actually fucking desperate to come

> i think he should be be fingered until he howls and comes like 3-4 times. he's finally finally getting what he wants i dont know if he would know what to do. hes probably embrassed as all fuck from the way he acted that whole time, but when he starts getting fingered all that stuff just blanks from his mind and its so, so hard for him to not just chase that feeling and whore himself out. the opportunities for whoredon dialogue when hes that desperate are like saying shit hes cant even think about like "god - please f- fuck." and benrey's only got one finger in him but hes so wet already that benrey tries a second and it slips in easily. he crooks his fingers and gordon fucking keens, thighs shaking.

the fuckin. the agony in his voice when hes hoarsely begging benrey "do not stop do not fucking stop i cant take it" and just. slamming his fist into the table and being so fucking loud, oh my god, this guy is loud

> the thought of how loud he would be crazed me im just. just. him laying on the fucking table, eyes shut tight and moaning high and loud while he pulls tightly on his own hair, clenching hard around benrey's fingers

i think it would just be cool if. uhh. the thing that finally breaks gordon. gets him to just Let Go. is benrey catching him trying to choke back his words and his sounds and just laughs at him, like, "this is the easy part man. you wanna be a good dog? better, uhh.....better beg. cmon, boy. beg." and gordons hips jerk and the subsequent praise he gets when he actually does it makes him just.......snap.......Bye

> and what if.......benrey doesnt remove them as gordon comes down from that. he just waits a few seconds while gordons still panting and then scissors them and wrings a strangled sound out of gordon, whos hips move down again. and the heat starts building again in his gut and he cant even get out full sentences anymore, just bits and pieces while he fucks onto benrey's fingers. m. maybe benrey's growling out shit like "thats it, cmon. been good for me all fuckin day. you want more?" and gordon nods his head without even looking but he hears a thump and sees benrey kneeling between his thighs and he. licks up from where his fingers are to his clit and he just seals his mouth on it and sucks and that makes gordon come a second time, thighs clamping shut around benrey's ears.

i just......i lvoe......overstim.......and i think gordon freeman should have his pussy eaten until he cannot fucking take it anymore

maybe......even.......maybe after gordon comes a second time. benrey doesnt stop sucking and licking. at first it seems like benreys just working him thru the orgasm, but then he just keeps going. and gordons sensitive, hes too fucking sensitive, each time benreys tongue swipes over him he jerks and tries to close his legs. frantically gasping that he did it, okay, he got gordon off, voice getting high and broken, but benrey just pulls back and looks at him flatly and then very deliberately. spreads his legs wider in one swift movement. and pins them with his big fucking hands. and just looks him in the eye and says "i know, dude" and puts his mouth right back on gordon anyway. and gordons legs twitch like fucking mad but benreys so strong and he cant move and hes slamming his fist on the table again from how overwhelming it is, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes, howling into the open air how benreys killing him, hes fuckin killing him, why does he like jerking gordon around so much........and benrey glances up and breaks the seal of his mouth around gordons dick and mutters something about how he must not be doin his job if gordons still talking

i want him to howl wordlessly with frustration and grab benreys hair and yank him closer as gordon rounds the corner from "the agony of getting sucked off when hes hyper-sensitive" to "the agony of chasing yet another orgasm". i want this dude to be tonguefucked until he wails!!! I Want Him Ruined. meat: massacred. pussy: destroyed. i think it would be cool if gordon freeman was wailing at him for more, dont stop, benrey, until benreys got two big fingers back in him and is squeezing in a third alongside them and hes so fucking tight from having just come twice in a row, but the groan gordon lets out when its finally inside him is so guttural and low it makes benrey blink and shiver

and i think that for the grand finale benrey should smash that dogboy pussy. thanks for coming to my TED talk

hes been going thru this shit for hours. taking his time to really screw gordon freeman up good. and its been so fuckin worth it just to hear all the fun new sounds gordon made (cuz of him, he reminds himself). benreys been awkwardly adjusting his dick in his pants for way too fucking long, and gordons been watching him do it. staring at it. saliva collecting at the corner of his mouth. he was achingly hard the whole time he was giving gordon a glorified pedicure. and he didnt even ask to shift forward from where he was kneeling to let the arch of gordons foot press against his dick. its been just as hard for benrey to keep control and stick to the rules of the game as it has been gordon, and this dude oughta get to crush mad pussy okay

> the thought of this is kinda making me insane actually so. im just. h. im just thinking about how it would go down like. augh. i think that gordon would be shaking from his third consecutive orgasm but like. he can keep going. and he finally gets a moment to breathe and look at benrey whos just a mess. hair messed up where gordon gripped it, red faced, mouth dripping with his own drool and gordon's slick and hes remembers like. this guys so fucked up over this, god. and hed been thinking about his dick the whole time, even though he thought he wasnt gonna get anything out of it for a while. hes been wanting it. and so like like he doesnt want to play any more games. hes been good he deserves this.

> benrey's still got three fingers in him so he kind of just pushes him back and breaths out "fuck me". benrey's actually absolutely dazed from everythin and has to process it like "huh. wh" but gordons like "just fucking do it, cmon. im not gonna say it again" and benrey finally actually registers it like. "y-yeah. okay." and he barely has any time to think before gordon's hauling him up onto the table. starts fumbling to get his pants and shirt off and gordons practically tearing at his clothes which doesnt fucking help. letting out little growls maybe like "fucking. jerking me around this whole time fuck you. can see how much you wanted it" and they finally manage to get them off and gordon pulls him on top and ruts against him. its finally now clicking for benrey that fuck. this is actually happening and he pushes into him with a low sound and gordon's thighs and tail go still and taut until he bottoms out. gordon's fucking panting and clenches down on him and they both let out a little sound and benrey starts fucking into him slow. but cmon. this dudes been pent up the whole goddamn time. its barely any time before hes gripping gordon's hips and fucking up into him fast and hard, hips slapping against gordon's at a desperate pace. he probably tries to make it last but he cant, hes been edging himself too long. im going to fucking die see ya everybody

thinking about just how fuckin bad benreys legs would shake from the effort of pushin in reaaalll slow b/c gordons so fucking tight after having gotten off 3 times in a row.......trembling from the effort of trying to hold himself back......and gordons nails digging into the back of his neck and dragging down his back to leave long red furrows behind....... gordons eyes screwed tightly shut while the only thought on repeat in his head is "oh my god hes big hes so fucking big" and he can barely fuckin speak

> like yeah he had three fingers in him but this is so goddamn much. thinking about...gordon's hands clawing into back involuntarily from the stretch, letting out little cut off pants while his legs shake a little from it. i just. like the thought of his tail pointing out stiffly and trembling too. the absolutely wrecked sound he would let out when he bottomed out, all of that tension kind of leaving him in a drawn out deep moan. benrey shifts just a little to get a better grip on gordon's thighs and it causes him to yelp a little cause its so fucking much just from that movement.

> benrey's trying not to move but his hips are twitching from holding himself back and gordons letting out little. sounds that are making him insane. he pulls out just a little and that makes gordon let out a whine. and when he pushes back in gordon lets out breathless "fuck!" like its been punched out of him. even going this slowly is making him fucking shake like a leaf. hes squeezing his eyes shut tight heaving deep breaths, chest rising and falling fast. hes so full be can barely think. and benrey's just fucking stupid with cumbrain and hes saying all kinds of filthy shit like "h - fucking - so fucking good for me. so good. nnh. best. best friend -" and that makes gordon let out a whine. the praise has been getting to him the whole time and just. again with the loaded phrase of best friend. like the possesiveness of that. that combined with the near-overstimulation of getting filled makes him actually kind of lose it. his thighs clamp around benreys hips and his toes curl and pulls benrey's hips forward to make him thrust into him, so he stop going slow. bye. goodbye

#asky #writin stuff #Good bye

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thisstableground · 3 years

Note

So if UVR deviates from maps at around chapter 2, he's met Cleo and kind of gotten to know her right? What would happen if he went back to Jamaica to visit the ppls who were nice to him

yeah, he still met her - so 90verse ruben still spends almost 2 months in jamaica after ian ditches him there, basically the big difference between the two universes is that ian/jason never show up there like they do in maps, so he doesn’t come home until the police track him down. but the setting and the people around are the same.

at the moment, about three years on from everything, he can’t really think too hard about anything or anyone he met out there because there’s no way for it to not be triggering - it’s all just a fuzzy mess crammed into a box labelled Really Bad Time, Do Not Open. but as his therapy goes on, he can sort of poke at the memories a bit and start to pick out details and remember people; he definitely, very vividly, remembers the people who helped him out when he was there, and cleo and her baby in particular, because to be honest their small kindnesses and concern were probably the only things that kept him alive long enough for the police to find him.

cleo told him to stay in touch when he was leaving, and gave him her email, but between how intense and stressful everything was for so long after, him not really believing anyone would want to stay in touch with him, and needing to create some distance from that part of his life until he was ready to deal with it, he never took her up on it. but after some time and a lot of agonizing about it and asking everyone he knows if its a good idea or not, he emails her and fully expects her to not even remember him. like, it was a completely lifechanging and formative part of his life, but he feels like from their perspective he was just a very broken, secretive stranger who showed up and did an incredibly bad job as a cleaner for two months and then suddenly the hotel was full of police and he left. so at best he figures he’s probably a “remember that guy? that was a weird time”. but she replies: she remembers him, and she’s thrilled to hear from him, and she sends him pictures of not-so-baby tariq who is at school now (he doesnt remember ruben, of course). they don’t stay in frequent touch after their intial conversation, but they do stay in touch.

i don’t know about being able to go back visit everyone - i can’t imagine him ever being able to go back to that hotel, or that town, no matter how strong his recovery is going. i do think that (many years down the line) he does want to go to jamaica in general, with usnavi and vanessa. a different place, somewhere more vacationy - he can’t exactly picture walking around that town like hey guys i’ll show you the beach that i slept on for a week because i was homeless here, and later we can take a romantic stroll past the clinic where they stitched me up” and having it be any kind of cathartic, but going to jamaica in general is something he thinks might help bring some closure. so maybe if they’re not somewhere too far away and their vacation coincides with cleo’s day off work, she might come out to see him for a few hours and chat over coffee.

i think he probably meets up with her alone, because he doesn’t want his new life to crash that hard into the old one, it’s nervewracking enough without having to deal with that because usnavi and vanessa have seen him in some states but nobody has seen him as completely, appallingly fucked up as the people who saw him the first two months after his life was ruined. it’s hard to know how to interact with someone after that. but he wants to do it, to thank her in person and to feel a little more resolved about that part of things.

for cleo’s part, ruben is almost entirely unrecognizable as the ruben she’d met briefly during that time, when he’d just sit quietly in her kitchenette and stare into the tea she made him with a look on his face like he was staring into hell itself, or she’d wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby and hear ruben sobbing from his room across the hallway, or he’d just be standing in the corridor like a lost little ghost and she’d have to gently guide him back to his room. he genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of the things that she did do for him.

she doesn’t mind: he still thanks her a thousand time for everything, pays for her lunch and insists on paying for her bus ticket to come here, just as polite as he was before but in a way that feels more real, more open. he’s still not exactly the most talkative person and he’s definitely socially awkward but he’s friendly, keeps the conversation going in ways he never used to be able to. he asks her about her life, tells her about his, fidgets with the wedding band on his finger in quiet moments. he has a lovely smile, something she never knew about him before.

she did play a much bigger role in his life than he did in hers, but she was fond of him and worried about him when he was around, because she’s the kind of person who has a lot of caring to spare, even for people she doesn’t know very well. and it feels good for both of them to leave the conversation knowing that her lasting impression of ruben wasn’t just based on the pieces of him that were here the first time, and that she could see a little of what he’s actually like as a person.

#fandom: do no harm #character: ruben #aw i love cleo she's one of my favourite OCs #also wow its been a bit since i made headcanon posts and i sure forgot how much i can fuckin talk #Anonymous

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the--highlanders · 4 years

Text

18. Refreshing

on ao3.

“You’re hurt.”

“Och.” Batting the Doctor’s hands away from his face, Jamie nudged at the empty spot beside him on the sofa with his foot. “Stop fussin’ at me an’ sit down.”

“It’s bleeding,” the Doctor insisted.

“It’s just a wee scrape.”

The Doctor huffed, folding his arms. “I thought we were meant to be catching our breath here, not – not denying ourselves medical treatment.”

“Aye, but...” Jamie shrugged. “Is it really medical treatment if you’re the one patchin’ me up, an’ you’re always sayin’ you’re not a medical doctor?”

“Yes.” Sitting down beside him, the Doctor reached out to take the mug of tea from Jamie’s hands and lift his chin to examine him better. Jamie sighed, but closed his eyes and let his head be turned back and forth as the Doctor checked him over. It was pleasant, in a way, being fussed over for something so small – not that he would ever give the Doctor the satisfaction of hearing him admit it. But the Doctor’s fingers were cool against his cheek, as deft as if he was fiddling with some delicate bundle of wiring, and he hardly noticed that something was being smoothed over the scrape until he opened his eyes and saw a glimpse of white in the corner of his vision. “It’s only a small plaster,” the Doctor was saying. “But it wouldn’t do to go bleeding all over borrowed pyjamas, would it?”

“Alright, then.” Stretching out, Jamie planted his feet in the Doctor’s lap and reached over to take the mug back from him. It was pleasantly warm, just cool enough to wrap his fingers around without burning himself, and he closed his eyes again to savour the feeling. Bundled into pyjamas slightly too large for him, sat on an overstuffed sofa with the Doctor fiddling idly with a loose thread on the hem of his trousers, he could almost forget that they were being chased.

Almost.

“Is it really still out there?” he asked.

“Unless it’s lost interest,” the Doctor murmured distractedly. “Which I doubt. But we’re quite safe for now, so long as the defences hold.”

“So why can’t we just...” Jamie rolled his shrug into a luxurious stretch, nestling himself further down further against the pillows. “Stay here until it goes away again? Ye said yourself, it only appears once every few years.” He held up his free hand before the Doctor could reply, quietening him. “I know, I know. You’d never just walk away from somethin’ like that, an’ neither would I. But ye have tae admit, it’s nice here.”

“Well, it’s certainly...” The Doctor chuckled. “It’s certainly the nicest safe house I’ve ever stayed in.”

Smiling, Jamie tipped his head back against the arm of the sofa and closed his eyes. Perhaps there was something in the water, he thought idly, that was making him feel so relaxed. The Doctor had told him that the house had been built on a gas vein that had been tapped to heat the water and warm the house and power its seemingly endless convenient gadgets – and, so it seemed, to seep out around them and keep away the beastie that was chasing them. Maybe whatever it was that got the creature so riled up could cause complete contentment and relaxation in humans. Or maybe it was just that all the adrenaline had drained away, and he was left tired but bundled up safe and warm, his eyes beginning to slip closed.

Before he could drift too close to the edges of sleep, the Doctor threw his legs out of his lap, sitting bolt upright. “Shh,” he hissed as Jamie struggled to sit up. “I heard something.”

Jamie’s blood ran cold at the sharpness in his voice. “Is it -”

“Shh,” the Doctor repeated. “I’m listening.”

They sat in dead silence for an agonisingly long minute, both stiff and still and silent. There was something out there, alright – something big, its claws clacking against the stony ground, its breath huffing and snuffling, mapping out its path around them. Sometimes it seemed to dip in closer, its footsteps growing faster, but it always thudded away from them again.

“That must be it, out there,” Jamie murmured. “The gas is keepin’ it away, like ye said.”

The Doctor sat back, one hand pressed over each side of his chest. “Well, at least we know the boundary works,” he said softly. “Still so keen on staying?”

Jamie leant back against the cushions himself, but did not entirely allow himself to relax. One hand stayed curled around the hilt of the knife at his hip – though what one small knife could do against a creature like the one outside, he was not quite sure. He could only imagine what it was they were up against. Something like a wolf or a bear, maybe, with thick, impenetrable fur. Or maybe something with fangs that hung over its slavering lips, or chitinous armour, or enormous horns that would sweep him away before he even got close. “No’ so keen,” he said, a little shakily. “Thinkin’ about movin’ on to the next place, actually.” He jerked his head towards the window, grateful that it was covered by thick curtains. Not seeing what was outside might be nervewracking, but surely catching glimpses would be worse. “Startin’ tae seem like a bad neighbourhood out there.”

He grinned over at the Doctor, but it quickly turned to a frown when he did not get so much as a smile from him. He had gone still and quiet again, only his eyes moving rapidly as he glanced around the room.

“Jamie,” he said, his voice low but full of poorly-concealed panic. “You did refresh the gas stores like I asked, didn’t you?”

“’Course I did,” Jamie scoffed. He tilted his head back, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling, thinking it over. “I think I did, anyway.”

“Jamie!” the Doctor hissed.

“I’m sure I did!” Jamie protested, just a little too loudly. Ducking his head, he glanced towards the window again. The clicking of the creature’s claws had stopped. “It’s fine,” he said, more softly this time. “We won’t run out.”

“Are you sure it was full?”

The silence outside turned to a slow, whining scratching, like the creature was drawing its claws across the rock. As it went on, it reached a pitch that was almost painful, and Jamie screwed up his face in discomfort. “Pretty sure,” he said.

“Well, we’ll know soon enough.” The Doctor’s hands were clasped in is lap in a way that would almost have been composed if his knuckles had not been so white. “If it doesn’t get in soon, then you must have filled it up.”

Everything fell quiet once again. Jamie fixed his eyes on the clock on the opposite wall, watching the seconds hand tick around agonisingly slowly. “How long do we have tae wait?”

The Doctor did not reply.

Tick. Tick.

The creature was off again. Its footsteps grew more distant, and Jamie’s heart leapt until it padded around to the other side of the house.

Tick. Tick.

The lights flickered. Dust trickled from the ceiling.

Tick. Tick.

“The house is drawing power away from the support systems,” the Doctor whispered. “It’s using everything it’s got to keep that thing outside.”

It was walking again. It looped around the house once – twice – then the sound of it started to fade, more consistently this time. The Doctor and Jamie stayed frozen in place, sitting ramrod straight and entirely still until silence had completely enveloped them for a few minutes. Only then did the Doctor let himself slump, half-collapsing into himself.

“It’s gone,” he mumbled into the heels of his hands. “I hope.”

“Will it come back?”

“I do hope not.” He shook his head, face still covered by his palms. “I’m not sure the house can take another beating like that. I wish I knew what it did out there. All I know is that it wants to get in.”

Shuffling over on the sofa, Jamie wrapped his arm around the Doctor’s shoulders and pulled him down to lean against his chest. “Ye look exhausted,” he said. “Ye need tae sleep, you’ve got tae be fit for tomorrow.”

“I’m fine,” the Doctor said, evidently aiming for plaintive and ending up with unconvincing. “Someone needs to keep watch.”

“I’ll do it,” Jamie insisted. “I’m no’ tired.”

“Jamie -”

“I couldn’t sleep now.” It was as far from the truth as Jamie could imagine. Any relaxation he had felt earlier had drained away, leaving his nerves raw with panic, and he longed to close his eyes and forget it all. “Really,” he added when the Doctor gave him a disbelieving look.

“Hmph.” The Doctor still looked like he wanted to argue, but he was already settling himself more comfortably against Jamie’s shoulder. “Promise you’ll wake me in a few hours.”

“Aye, I promise.”

“Or if there’s any more trouble.”

“Promise.”

“Alright, then.” The Doctor leant up to press his nose against the underside of Jamie’s jaw. “Thank you.”

Wrapping his arms around the Doctor more tightly, Jamie curled his hands into fists and set his eyes firmly on the window. “Don’t worry. I’ll look after ye.”

#second doctor #two/jamie #fanfic archive #my writing #sketchtober 2020

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skvaderarts · 3 years

Text

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Here’s my yearly Christmas fic if your interested! I love all the art you’ve been posting! Repost with links to your art and fics! Let’s make a thread!

Gathered for Greetings

I’m going to end up writing a Christmas fic every year, aren’t I? That’s okay. I just hope that next year I’m no literally writing it on Christmas day! Curse you, procrastination!

-~-

When they’d received the invites in the mail, they’d been skeptical.

Togetherness wasn’t something that none of them were used to, but it was something that they were willing to play at, if only because of the simply apocalyptic year that they’d all had thus far. Due to obvious circumstances, the majority of them had little to no experience with planning holiday events, let alone even attending them, but that wasn’t going to stop them from trying. In a strange turn of events, Nero and Kyrie were probably the most well acquainted with how holiday parties worked due to the addition of the orphans a short while back, but even then they had never thrown a party. After all, there weren’t exactly a lot of people they could invite, and they didn’t have a very spacious living area. Try as they might, there was only so much that they could do, especially on their limited finances.

But there was one unexpected additional point of intrigue that made this particular holiday get together a bit more interesting than it already seemed to be at first glance, and that was the setting that it was set to take place in. That, and who’s idea it was in the first place. Towards the start of the holiday season, V had approached Nero with a very much out of character proposition:

“... I think we should do something this year… at my house.”

Nero remembered looking at him as though he had grown a second head. Had V lost his mind? From what he knew about his generally socially challenged sibling, this particular request seemed like something he’d come up with after a particularly traumatic head injury or as the result of a late-night cheese binge. Was he caught in the middle of some kind of irreverent fever dream?

“Why do you wanna do that? I thought you hated parties.”

V had looked away from him, obviously uncomfortable with the reality that he was now going to have to explain what he was thinking. He’d figured that he’d more than likely have to do that, but that reality did little the quince the feeling of unease that he felt in the pit of his stomach. Voluntary honesty was difficult, especially when it forced him to speak on matters that he could frankly do without digging out of the lower recesses of his mind. He’d prefer to keep his problems buried deep, and this certainly counted as a problem, but he’d brought this up, so he was going to follow through.

“You’re correct, I do… but this is the first time I’ve ever had a family to actually commemorate the occasion with, and as such, the first time I…” he paused for a second, looking down at the floor with an earnest look of sadness.” I’ve never actually celebrated Christmas. Ever. Even as a child. I was hoping to change that.”

So naturally, not being a heartless psychopath, Nero couldn’t turn down such a heartfelt plea, especially from such a close member of his family. It was rare for V to ask for anything, and after the frankly hellish few months they’d had since his resurrection, he couldn’t think of a logical reason to dismiss his idea. He’d had an opportunity once or twice to do something for the holidays once he’d met Kyrie’s wonderful family as a younger child, but the idea of literally never doing anything for it at all… It actually hurt his heart a little to imagine that. Aside from cultural or even religious reasons, how on earth did that even happen?!

That was a question for another day. If his older sibling wanted to have his house destroyed by their extended family, then he was happy to help him in that regard. So in the last days leading up to Christmas, Nero, Kyrie, and Nico had brought the children over and they had spent several long hours decorating, wrapping gifts, and generally trying to keep V from having a protracted anxiety attack from the prospect of having everyone they knew at his house. Planning it was one thing, but actually doing it was another thing entirely, and he’d never been the best at long periods of social interaction. It drained his social battery to even think about it.

“Do you think they’re actually going to come over? Hell, do they even like Christmas? They barely like each other!” Nero shouted down to V over his shoulder as he shrugged and secured the last of the lights over a doorway. He was dead tired of climbing this ladder, and he hoped that the architects that built the place and decided that it needed close to fifteen-foot ceilings were burning in hell right now. But if he ever saw V climb a ladder again, he was going to have an anxiety attack.” I can’t see our old man even being the festive type. Maybe Dante but…”

He shrugged, fussing over the bottom of the gigantic Christmas tree that Lady and Trish had brought over early that morning. Where they had managed to find a real twelve-foot tall tree on Christmas day was anyone’s guess. It was probably Morrison’s handiwork, considering the fact that he’d helped them bring it over in the first place. That man could find ice in hell. Lady and Morrison were in the kitchen with Kyrie and Magnolia. They were helping taste things while the two of them finished up the last of the cooking. V had helped them cook a short while before deciding to turn his attention to the entirely bare tree. Three people in one kitchen was a bit of a crowd, but considering the fact that this had once been Magnolia’s family home, not inviting her would have been extraordinarily unkind. In an ironic twist, he’d managed to find ornaments but nothing to actually put them on. How fortunate that they’d arrived when they did.

Nico and Trish were on either side of the tree, attempting to help him get the last few ornaments on and clean up the bristles that had fallen on the tree skirt. As it turned out, V was actually horribly allergic to pine needles. They made him break out in an extremely itchy rash, a fact that he’d gone his entire life without knowing due to the fact that he’d literally never gone near a pine tree. It made the process of hanging ornaments slow and slightly nervewracking, to say the least. He imagined that this was what it would feel like to try and decorate poison oak.

“I’d imagine that they have mixed feelings about this time of year, to say the least. It more than likely brings up unfortunate memories.” He stepped away from the tree and allowed himself to slump over on the couch. All this standing didn’t agree with him.” Admittedly, I was pleasantly surprised when Dante agreed to come over. Even more so when he called back only a short while later to inform me that Vergil would be following suit. I suspect there was violence involved in that negotiation.”

Trish scoffed slightly, trying and failing not to laugh.” Oh, I’m sure there was. I don’t think either of them like parties. It’s one of the few things they agree on!”

With a relieved sigh, Nero climbed down from the ladder, thoroughly done with hanging things.” Sorry, but those are gonna have to stay up until next year. No way I’m going back up there.”

V nodded, equally tired and ready to get started with the festivities..” Agreed. It is quite a hassle. Thank you all for tolerating my request. It seems that none of us particularly enjoy large gatherings or decorating for that matter. I’m flattered that you would do so for my sake at your own expense.”

Everyone present waived him off nonchalantly. None of them minded on this one occasion. It was a welcome moment of normality in their entirely supernatural lives, and they couldn’t say that those happened very often.

“Yea, well as long as this goes better than that damn beach trip, I think we’ll all be just fine.” Nico said as she walked towards the kitchen with a bag full of pine needles.” Now don’t touch that godforsaken tree again or I’ll skin you all alive. I’m tired of cleaning!”

An awkward silence washed over the room as they thought about that trip. It had been a stressful year, hadn’t it? Between that and Belial… “yea, well if you aim low, you can’t be disappointed, can ya? That’s how I talk myself out of bed every day.!”

They all turned in the direction of the doorway, surprised to see who had spoken. Standing before them were Dante and Vergil, the two of them seemingly taking in the surprisingly festive atmosphere. It had been Lady’s idea to play Christmas music. She’d even brought over wine for the occasion. She was perhaps the most excited person there besides Magnolia and the children who were playing in the next room over with Lucia. Getting the redheaded guardian there in time had been nothing short of a logistical nightmare, but they had pulled it off nonetheless. Even Matier had managed to come over for the occasion, no doubt surprised to be invited in the first place. There were still a few stragglers who would be coming later on such as Patty, but the number of people who had agreed to come in the first place was enough for V.

Much to their collective surprise and disbelief, V actually laughed at that statement. It was a sentiment that he honestly had to agree with. It was rare that V actually agreed with Dante on something so wholeheartedly, but this was one of those occasions.” You make a valid point, Dante. I suppose I’m just glad you both came.”

Dante and Vergil almost seemed flattered by the statement, unsure of what to really say. It had taken quite a bit for them to talk themselves into coming over, but seeing everyone there wasn’t something they expected and as such, they were a little unsure of where to start. But they were willing to try, and that was what counted, wasn’t it?

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all…

Looking notably uncomfortable, Vergil glanced in the direction of the tree. It had been a long time since he’d seen one of those… It brought back vague but vibrant memories he thought he’d lost to the void of despair that was his life a lifetime ago. Perhaps actually attempting to make a few new ones wasn’t such an awful idea after all.

“... Thank you for inviting us.”

With that statement, the entire room fell strangely silent again, everyone collectively surprised to hear Vergil say something so… agreeable. It was a nice change of pace. One could only assume that he was genuinely pleased to be included in something like this, but it was hard to tell. They had no point of reference. But if the barely concealed look of surprised pleasure on Dante’s face was anything to go off of, they had done something right.

It was Nero’s turn to break the silence. He was admittedly starting to get hungry, and he was sure the children were probably driving Lucia insane in the next room. It was actually time to celebrate.” Anytime. Now let’s go eat. Kyrie and V were cooking and magnolia brought over desert again.”

Dante practically teleported into the kitchen.” Well, hell you shoulda started there! Speak up next time!”

Vergil shook his head and followed after him at a much slower pace. He was in much less of a hurry to get to the kitchen. He hadn’t really come there for the food.” At least he’s eating something besides pizza.”

Nero and V nodded in agreement. The holidays were supposed to be about the little things. It was about time they went and enjoyed them. After all, it wasn’t every day that they all got to spend time together without it being a life or death situation. They were going to savor that. Well, that and the food. The food was probably going to be amazing.

-~-

Thanks for reading this little holiday fic that I threw together! You’ll all see how this ties into the main story once we get there in Hirathe. I thought you might like this. Happy Holidays everyone! See you on New Years! I hope next year is a little better!

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destroyyourbinder · 4 years

Text

the day i was a man

In the summer of 2019, I decided to fully shave my head into a buzzcut, something I had never done before. I had a lot of feelings emerge and re-emerge at the time. While I was still visibly female in my day to day life- something that felt uniquely frightening given the utter dykeyness of my haircut- I accidentally discovered one day in August that my haircut could allow me to pass as male. While I had deliberately tried to “pass” in an earlier life, at the height of experiencing gender dysphoria, I was never taken to be a man except by chance (such as from behind or from afar). So potentially being able to pass as male was a new and disorienting experience, one I felt compelled to explore out of multiply perverse kinds of curiosity. As a context note: I mention my partner frequently in this piece, who has detransitioned from her transition from female to male, but chooses to handle her situation through continuing to pass as male at work and in public. Her experiences unavoidably framed my experience trying to pass for a day, and this experiment changed permanently how I see both her passing persona and the public presentation of female transgender people. If you can pull it off, and perhaps even if you can’t (a different, but also nervewracking experience), I recommend women try this at least once, especially if you claim to understand the experiences of transgender female people. It is a female experience to which there are truly few comparisons, and to which even the majority of living gender non-conforming lesbians cannot relate. Having largely recovered from gender dysphoria, I cannot imagine having to permanently live my life this way nor finding it affirming to do so, and I am disturbed that this experience was one I once aspired to and envied. However, I am glad I had it, and I plan to try again sometime in this upcoming summer when I can cut my hair without freezing. My partner now knows I did this, and I am especially curious what it might be like being seen together.

I wrote this the day I chose to do this experiment. My goal was to take public transportation to a shopping center so I could check out some shoes I was considering buying. The first part (in present tense) I wrote before leaving the house and while dressed in preparation, the second part (in past tense) was written after I returned, using my memories of the experience. It has been mildly edited for readability and to include a few details and pieces of context.

----

I am scared of what happens not if I pass but if I don’t pass. In trying to become a man I have become a woman I am afraid of and afraid for. It’s often the same thing when you are a woman watching women. I am having trouble breathing under three sports bras when I usually wear none. My chest is flat unless I actually stand up straight and proud. I have to be ashamed to become a man, although they say men are confident and becoming one will make you so. I debate whether or not to put some kind of fake dick in my pants, although I doubt that will do anything, and I shudder to think what will happen if I do and it doesn’t work. Being a woman with a dick stuffed in your pants: at best I’m pathetic, at worst I am a monster.

I don’t know how to explain this to my girlfriend. I don’t know how to explain that I had to do this, at least once. I don’t know how to explain to her something she already knows.

I wonder if I’ve been watching too many music videos. I wonder if this is about sex. I don’t know how I can wash our dishes while being a man, but I decide I should try before I try something bold like letting people look at me.

The danger of not passing is violence. The danger internally is that it would be deserved. I realize there’s no real way to justify wanting to do this, nonetheless actually doing it. I think wanting to transition is sublimated fear. I wonder if this will help me with my social anxiety, because this fucking sucks. This is not the exposure therapy the doctor ordered. It feels familiar to be ashamed of myself and hold my body this way, like an old chair molding around my butt, like stepping into old shoes. Dykes go to the outdoor store but do bulldykes go there? I realize I don’t know anything about bulldykes. I understand why so many trans people are so preoccupied with being fake vs. real, false vs. genuine. There is something intrinsically very fake about passing. You are faking the other sex. Of course you feel fake. It is a pretense. It feels very odd to pretend so seriously, so people pretend that they are not pretending after all. I am fixated on the small things all over again. I find myself wondering when I tie my girlfriend’s boots to my feet whether or not men have ankles like mine. My laces are too wide at the bottom, too small at the top. I worry that this will lead me to be discovered or worse, mocked. I know this is absurd but in this state I don’t feel like I can take any chances, like I would even know what chances to take. When I went to get the bus I thought I saw my coworker. It ended up not being her, but I crossed the street and circled back because I didn’t want her to see me so strange, doing something so weird and incomprehensible. I understand now why people change towns, friends, abandon their family. This is difficult to explain, even if you say you are “trans”. It doesn’t make sense, fundamentally, to anyone with a grounding in their body. The bus driver was a big black woman, serious face, tattoos. I think she was a dyke. I got the sense she was looking at me out of the side of her eye when I got on the bus, but that might be paranoia. I didn’t know because I didn’t want to look her in the face too hard. I get why my girlfriend’s so avoidant in public. You don’t want people to know what you’re doing, you don’t want people to see your face. It’s real hard to know what emotion to put on there when you’re a dude. It’s real scary to not have the barrier of a woman’s smile or laugh anymore. It almost feels nice to not have to do it, but how do you handle anything? I’m the type of woman who’s been able to get away with this gender weirdo shit throughout my life because I gave an oh-shucks smile at the end of it, that little woman’s laugh that means I’m not a threat, not serious, not anything at all. When you’re “a man” you can’t do that anymore. You’re naked under six layers of clothes. When you can’t do that anymore you’ve got nothing except sheer bravado and nothing to back it up. What if it doesn’t work, what if you suddenly become the type of girl who doesn’t smile? I get why my girlfriend doesn’t look anybody in the face, even though she looks real fucking shifty sometimes. You can’t look a man in the face and not be able to back it up. Men are like reactive dogs. They’ll get fucked up if you look them in the eye. On the bus I realized all of the sudden even though I’ve read a billion passing guides, and I’ve stared down dudes real jealous my whole life I do not know how a man sits. I had fixated so much on the legs and where they go that I didn’t know what they did with hands, elbows; how do you look out the window if you’re a guy? What do you look at? I snatched glances at the dude up front, an ambiguously brown teen who could probably pass as white in the right places but not the wrong ones, a dude with a big mop of floppy curly dark hair and what looked like a serious case of apathy. He was scrolling on his phone, and I could see the divots of acne scars forming on the side of his face. Guy didn’t look like he could grow a lot of facial hair but probably made up for it with encyclopedic knowledge of Fortnite or some shit. I knew he had a life, but he seemed like most men, kind of constitutionally dull. He wasn’t looking at anything, really, I guess only kids and women really look at stuff. Which made it hard to do the whole clandestine observation thing, I decided, a guy who looks at stuff is not really a dude. I tried to look kinda dumb and wasn’t sure where my jaw should go. The girlfriend does this thing sometimes with her mouth that makes me cringe when she does it at home. Sometimes she phases in and out of her passing persona if she’s talking about work or feeling threatened for whatever reason, if she’s in a different place and time than the place and time where she’s home and a wife and all that. She does a little underbite, doing that thing that internet FTMs do in the pictures they take; I figured she learned to do it like a little bird puffs itself up, it makes her little head look bigger and squarer. I tried to do it when out and about; my teeth don’t fit together that way. I’m sure I looked like a moron. But men do dumb shit all the time.

I transferred to the train, and when I got off at the station I ended up walking kinda the wrong way for a while. I imagined all the people in the cars staring at me. I hate walking on the sidewalks along highways and strip malls. I dunno if they look, and if they do, what they see. I was real nervous but I figured I didn’t know any of them anyway and made it into the shopping center where the store was. It occurred to me that if this was an adventure it was quite a stupid one, but it was an adventure nonetheless, complete with the actual lack of excitement and the actual presence of fear. I had never been in this particular store before and everything was displayed so tastefully. I was dismayed to notice the presence of a million salespeople, and realized I didn’t fucking know which gender of shoe I even wanted to try to look at because I didn’t know how I was coming across. I was not going to be a dude who asks for women’s shoes, a.k.a. a woman who’s obviously doing something real weird asking for women’s shoes nonetheless. And at this store you gotta ask for the shoes, and I didn’t want to use my voice because I’m pretty sure I’m obviously female by voice. So I just stared awkwardly at the shoes, mostly, I checked the prices and the clearance racks, and they were too expensive anyway. At one point I realized I was looking at the women’s shoes (which seemed like a huge fucking big deal) and I went to cross over to the men’s shoes, there was a group of bros standing in front of the men’s shoe wall and they parted like the red sea when I went over. I think this was passing because frankly I’ve never had men ever get out of my fucking way. I ended up circling around the store and leaving because no way was I going to afford any of the shit in there, and they didn’t even have very many shoes of the kind I was looking for. I went into the chain pet store next door and wandered around in there. There was a young person working the register who was a young lesbian or a trans kid or something. Every time I saw a woman I felt guilty, it was real weird to be separated so much from women. I had thoughts of jumping out, you know, and saying “boo”, following a woman a bit too close to see what would happen, even though I knew that would be real fucking mean. But it would be the test. See how women react to you: are you still a woman yet? What happens when you’re not a women to women anymore? It seems real fucking lonely. I was already lonely, and it had been maybe three hours. Men are real rude to other men. Some old white sales guy was like,“excuse me”, real curt and direct in a way I’d never got before, not gentle but not with the contempt-force they use towards a fucked up woman. It was empty of all the shit I’d learned to expect. How men deal with the emptiness I don’t know. They must fill it with all sorts of nonsense just to pass the time, just for kicks, is that why they want to hit each other and fuck things? There was a little girl with her family outside the stores, she had a floppy autistic hand and was wearing cargo shorts, I wished her luck inside my head but couldn’t smile at her and my heart broke.

I walked around and tried to find the other location of a store I used to work at. I knew it was around there somewhere but couldn’t find where the building was. My stomach was grumbling and it occurred to me that if I needed to use a bathroom I’d be screwed. Even if I was still plausibly visibly female I was female in the way that’d get me bathroom trouble, and I wasn’t quite dudely enough to stride into the men’s. The store I used to work at had gender neutral bathrooms, and I realized a hell of a lot of trans people must be in a huge pickle all the time. I understand the bathroom resentment even if trans people project their validation shit onto it. It’s easier to believe you’re being invalidated than that you’re scared because you’re doing something real weird and you’re in hiding all the time. I don’t know how people live like this full time. There’s got to be a lot of grief, nihilism, resignation when you finally make it so you can’t go back. The tension’s unbearable: I imagine a lot of trans people think that the tension will be resolved if they make themselves undiscoverable, if they just push themselves more towards perceptibly male.

The sports bras were hurting me. It was hard to walk so much in this get up. I found I was breathing with my mouth open a lot to get enough air, and the word “mouthbreather” kept occurring to me. I realized the shit that I had to knock out of me as an autistic woman was double-edged as someone trying to pass. A lot of it actually helped, a healthy and hamhanded disrespect/disregard for etiquette is very male, but I realized I was still real weird with weird motivations and weird in ways that would make me stick out even as a dude. I understood why the girlfriend has a persona-- she says he’s some nobody, a stoner dude, a guy who doesn’t have all that much to say and of course it’s kinda stupid if he did-- to cover the incongruities. Before I got back on the train there was this young black woman with a swagger, wearing what looked like men’s pants, wandering around the platform. I figured the universe was fucking testing me today because she might be gay too. She was talking on her phone in a video chat, getting way too close to the edge. She wobbled over the edge a couple times, then decided to sit on the fucking platform with her legs out over the tracks . Some shady white guy wearing gloves was doing some weird shit with the ticket machines, a lot of coins were coming out and he was rustling around. I figured he had some kinda scheme and decided to leave him very alone because I didn’t know how the fuck I was supposed to react as a fellow guy if he wanted something from me. The woman didn’t look up when the train coming the opposite way signaled, and I got scared I was gonna have to drag her off the tracks, like maybe she wasn’t doing good and she was gonna try something. I realized I didn’t want to die as a man, didn’t want that woman to be saved by me as a man, what if they called up my girlfriend and said I was some dude, what if she found me in three sports bras and three shirts in the hospital, what would everyone think. Swagger gal jumped the hell out of her skin and scooted away when our train was coming, so I didn’t have to worry about it. When I got on some family plopped down in front of me, and I felt that grief again. If I was a man I couldn’t look at kids with the same gentleness, there was no solidarity with the mom and her weariness, I couldn’t take the load on my hips alongside her. I didn’t want to do this any more. I had planned to catch the bus on my way back but the bus wasn’t going to come for a while. I decided to walk from my home train station and see if I could catch my girlfriend at work but realized I didn’t want her to see me like this. I didn’t know who I was, walking through the dark back into the neighborhood. I peeked into a dark bar with sports on the televisions, a lot of normal heterosexuals doing their thing. But back on the main drag it was trendier heterosexuals everywhere. I stopped beside a dark park to take off two of the bras and tucked them in my pockets. I had no idea what the fuck I looked like when I was walking somewhere more familiar, didn’t know where to put my chin, didn’t know whether I was incongruent, incomprehensible, or I was just myself. My clothes were all mine except the beanie and the boots. It was nothing crazy but I felt crazy, I felt split in two, schizophrenic in the old-school definition way. If my coworkers saw me they’d know me, but maybe I wouldn’t know me in return. When I got to my girlfriend’s workplace I realized she wasn’t in the building; she had stepped across the street to take a break and get some air. I don’t think she recognized me coming across the street. I felt all fucked up for a long hot second until she broke into a smile. I couldn’t tell if she was astonished I was out and about in the area at that hour or that that body was me. I wandered on home, got an Arizona iced tea, went up to the corner pharmacy all weird in the head and high on drag to get some mascara to see if I could make me a beard someday. The people at the pharmacy usually know me, and I didn’t want to be some weirdo who was trying to be a guy in front of them. The guy who I think’s a manager was around, then a barely-outta-adolescence woman with a bob of orange hair and strange makeup and a big old nose ring. These days they make eyebrow mascara, in each brand there were a million different kinds. Who knew, and who knew it cost 12 bucks for a little tube. I went around the corner feeling lucky: there was some in the clearance section. Why someone like me’d buy mascara for your eyebrows, who knows. I was titillated by the tiny brushes. The young woman at the counter wanted to talk to me about my nose ring, hers was only a tad bigger, and she told me she must’ve hit a nerve when she stretched. Her piercings were nice, I was happy to have a conversation with a woman as a woman of some sort even though she was a different kind of woman all in all. When the wall comes down it’s terrible. I can’t imagine that wall all the time and what that must do to women behind it.

#writings

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madzilla84 · 4 years

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VidCon London 2020

I wrote up some rambly thoughts on Vidcon, my trip, and Phil day!

I arrived in London the night before the others, last Thursday (a week ago?? WOT), so went straight to my friend’s place in London – we went to a pub near his for pizza, and while I was there I saw Dan’s cute tweet. After a few wines, it made me super emotional as you can imagine. I love him. <3

We had some more drinks once we got back, which made the next morning … well.

Friday – Day 1

YUP, HANGOVER. But luckily not a ‘can’t function’ hangover, so once I’d packed up I made my way over to the Airbnb (it was fuckin WIMDY) to leave the luggage (too early to check in). The previous occupants were a group of Lads who’d left the place in a state, so it was still being cleaned. HONESTLY BOYS SMH)

Then I headed to the complex’s on-site café (ooh errr) and spent some time trying to figure out what to write in the card I wanted to give to Phil. My roomies @yikesola, @ahappydnp and @calvinahobbes arrived a little later and we checked into the flat, and basically hung out and chatted until it was time to head to registration. Which was a good decision as the line was super small on Friday night. Gotta say, the feeling of seeing Phil so big and so central on all the banners and posters for the con made me feel so proud of him. As other people have mentioned, there was some – curiosity, I guess? Worry? – about whether it would be weird seeing him there doing his first event like this on his own in a *very* long time, but somehow it wasn’t, at any point.

We spotted Martyn checking in further down the hall, which was probably the first moment it all started to Feel Real. We (slightly awkwardly at first in my case lol) met a bunch of online folks in the registration area, and tagged along for a cable car ride over the river (did I mention it was WIMDY) to the O2 arena for dinner. When we all sat down to eat I realised I was sitting opposite two friends from IDB! \o/ We headed back after the meal to hang out and PREPARE for what was about to come.

Saturday - Day 2 - PHIL DAY

We started off by going for breakfast – naturally pancakes – and then headed across to the con. The first event of the day was the comedy panel that Phil was on, so we went across to the panel room early and ended up sitting through the panel before that one, ‘Out and Online’, which was probably – Phil notwithstanding – the better of the two I saw.

During that first panel – and really all morning up to that point – I’d started to feel increasingly nervous. I’d never met Dan or Phil before, and the fact it was happening imminently was suddenly hitting me. Not to mention it was very hot in the panel room that day, and – yeah. By the time the LGBT+ panel finished, I was just like the *screaming internally* meme.

The only other time I’d seen D&P in person with my own eyes was at Interactive Introverts – non-VIP, and I was quite far from the stage, so I couldn’t see them well, y’know? So when the panellists walked in for the comedy panel, I turned around and saw Phil properly in person for the first time. And… wow. I’m sure I hardly need to tell anyone on this forum how attractive he is, but I was just blown away by how beautiful he is in person. He just seems to, like, glow.

And I was absolutely in love with his jacket, which I thought was new at first (it took me a while to place it was the one from the II promo photos). He just looked wonderful, and I went full Heart Eyes Motherfucker as he took his seat with the others. And once I’d actually seen him, somehow I felt less anxious and stressed.

The panel was okay – I wasn’t familiar with the other attendees and I’m not sure theirs is the sort of content I’d necessarily watch – lots of prank vids and the like, but they def had some fans in the room. But it was obvious the majority of the attendees were there for Phil, and I noticed him looking around the room at all the people there for him throughout, making eye contact with lots of people. I’m sure he made brief eye contact a couple of times, which made me go !!!!! It was obvious the panelists were at quite different stages of their careers, which was a little dissonant sometimes, but also quite sweet – Phil was very encouraging to the younger, more inexperienced members of the panel, which was very lovely. Lucky them to have such a kind senpai.

After that we only had a quick break (mainly to down water after being boiled to death in the panel room) before it was time to get in line for Phil’s meet and greet. The wait for him to arrive was weirdly fast but also interminably long, and I spent most of it panicking about what I was going to say to Actual Phil Lester in a matter of minutes.

But soon enough he arrived, shook hands with the photographer, did a lil hop to wave to everyone in the crowd who was waving at him, and then off we went.

I wasn’t sure what to expect – I’ve had pics before with celebs at conventions, and every con is different in how they handle photos. Some really rush you through, but this one was pretty good, I thought – you had plenty of time to say whatever you wanted to say, or give gifts – I thought we were supposed to leave them in a box somewhere, but no, we were to give them directly to Phil, who had a little table to put them on. Obviously I wanted to give him a hug, too, but would I be too awkward to ask for one once I actually got up there, I wondered?

But as it turned out I needn’t have worried; I could watch people meeting him from where we were in the line, and from the very first person, he opened his arms for a big hug from everyone who went up to meet him. Watching people running into his arms was making me really emotional – he just has such a great connection with his people. You could tell he was happy to be there and liked meeting us all. He took so many cute photos with people. We noticed he had a Sharpie and was signing things, which we hadn’t been told about beforehand, so I hadn’t brought anything special - ended up getting him to sign my con badge as a souvenir.

There were 3 of us, and @yikesola took one for the team and volunteered to go first. I watched how much fun they were having, how easily they chatted and hugged and posed for their cute photo and thought to myself, please don’t be a total buffoon when you go up there…

Soon enough it was my turn. Walking up for these things is always nervewracking and awkward – except this time, once it was time, Phil turned around, looked at me, smiled and opened his arms and I knew it would be okay.

I walked over and hugged him, and he probably had to bend down quite a lot, lol. I reached up over his shoulder to hug him, which meant being on tiptoes, of course; as many people have said in the past, he didn’t let go until you did. He was so gentle. <3 I maybe hugged him for a little longer than I might usually with someone I didn’t know because of it; he just has such comforting and welcoming vibes. And no, before anyone asks, I didn’t notice what he smelled like – we were talking about it after and I don’t think any of us did. I don’t in general unless someone’s wearing reasonably strong perfume/cologne, I don’t think, unless I’m hugging them for a really long time. ANYWAY.

The now-famous jacket (which looked so good!!) was soft AF. I handed over my lil gift – he spotted the chocolate and was pretty happy about that.

I then had a little time to talk to him but, like, how do you condense into a few seconds what someone means to you, how much they’ve helped you or how much you appreciate them? So I ended up going with one of the main reasons I came to love Phil so much as a creator – someone around my age still making such fun content. I don’t mean it like, ‘wow, at your age!!’ lol, which I’m not sure he would have appreciated, more like – when you get to a certain age, people often expect you to leave certain interests and behaviours aside (we see it all the time with these ‘ew people over 30 in fandom?? Gross’ posts), and Phil is still being himself and doing what he wants and not letting that affect him, and I just think that’s really great and it’s meant a lot to me. So we talked about that a bit. He said you should be able to be creative at any age. <3 Talking to him wasn’t like I expected – I don’t know what I expected, really, but I thought he might have more of a – nervous energy, maybe? Or just a bit more – y’know, ‘AmazingPhil’? But no, he was chill and confident and had this ease about him that was so comforting in person. I know he’s an introvert and probably holed up on the couch for a week after meeting all those people (hard same), but he really is so good at talking to people and making them feel at ease; everyone looked so happy walking away from him.

About halfway through the convo I had to work really hard to keep my brain on track and not just descend into babbling nonsense because he was looking me in the eye and listening attentively and bruh!!! That is … a hell of a thing! Not only is he so beautiful, but he really listens, and cares about what you’re saying, and is actually interested and not just going ‘uh huh, uh huh …’ like other celebs can do. His expression and demeanour was so friendly and open and welcoming, and honestly I just felt like I could talk to him for hours.

We then posed for the official photo they took, and hugged for it – when I’ve had other photo ops in the past where I’m standing close to the person I’ve been prone to nervous giggling, but this time I felt really relaxed and happy.

And that was it! I reluctantly said goodbye and headed off and was so flustered I a) forgot my little card to collect my photo, the guy had to chase after me, though it looked like everyone was doing that because they were on cloud 9, and b) picked up someone else’s sequin Dan bag from the bag pile. (Which I immediately noticed because I had a keychain and pin on mine, but I mean they *are* identical.) We went to get food and download our photos and watch all the videos we took. Even though I now had pics, I still almost couldn’t believe it was actually real.

And, wow. We were just floating for the rest of the day. It was such a wonderful, positive experience and I’m so glad it worked out that I was able to meet Phil. I didn’t think I could love him more but after that day I definitely did. Obviously, because it’s me, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I said to him and how I said it and was it the right thing and did I say it right and lejslkdjkjfkdhks, but at the end of the day he was lovely, I said more or less what I wanted to say (of course there’s more I’d have wanted to say, but there’s never enough time), and it went wonderfully well. So I really shouldn’t worry too much.

We paid a quick visit to the AP shop booth in the Expo Hall – they didn’t have a ton of stuff but they had all the t-shirts (I think it was just all the t-shirts, corgi jumper, corgi keychains, glitch hoodie), so I bought the yellow Try New Things shirt from Sarah. (And got a free pixel Phil sticker; they really want to get rid of those huh)

The only other Phil-event for the day was his appearance at the Night of Awesome that evening, so we went along for that. Apparently the theme of the evening was ‘collaboration’, so most of the performers didn’t appear by themselves aside from a couple of music acts. But it quickly descended into madness – most of the performances were some sort of challenge which involved the loser getting a pie to the face or gunged – i.e. perfect Saturday night entertainment if you’re ten. So maybe it was more aimed at kids, I thought, until one of the music acts started swearing up a STORM and a load of horrified parents started dragging their kids out while I almost died trying not to laugh. There was a lot of TikTok stuff, but the animators challenge was pretty good and a couple of the music acts were great.

You probably read about the guy who crashed the performance to make an offensive anti-trans joke and then got chased out by security … when I figured out who it was later I wasn’t surprised, he’s done stupider shit in the past, but Vidcon didn’t react very well to it right away. Throughout the event I generally thought security and staff were very good, but they really dropped the ball on this. The music act gamely carried on though, as did a number of other acts after them, and *just* as everyone had pretty much lost the will to live, Phil randomly appeared on stage with Kian and JC (…no, me neither) along with a science Youtuber. Yay! I thought his bit was really cute; kind of random but that made sense when he explained the original plan had gone awry shortly before the show started. He was *so* into it and I thought it was so sweet how, again, he kept looking for his people in the crowd. He was so confident on stage and even when the stuff he was being asked to do was so random and weird he just owned it, went for it and made it funny. Thomas Sanders came on after science!Phil to do a very wholesome set which kind of saved the evening, lol.

And that was the end of Phil day! Naturally we had to order Domino’s in the evening after our emotional and intense day (and to recover from whatever tf most of that concert was). I feel like I’ve become some sort of addict, and now the rest of my existence will be sad and grey until I can hug Phil again (which might well be never). I have peaked. I also remembered what I like so much about (good) conventions; being with your people and feeling so free to express yourself and what you love - between the phannies and the fanders there were so many pride flags, and so many people walking around wearing merch. (Also it was the first con I’d ever been to where there were no cosplayers! Which is unsurprising given it’s youtube fandom, but still – new experience.)

Sunday - Day 3

Sunday we slept in after staying up until like 3am chatting (whoops), so I missed jacksepticeye’s panel but I did get to the Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher one, which was really funny. I wish I’d gotten to meet the boys but what can you do. I also went to the Expo Hall and met PJ (who was very nice, and friendly!! But had exactly that nervous energy I was talking about earlier, which I’m more accustomed to when I meet celebs at cons; Phil really is something special), and bought a few enamel pins, because ENAMEL PINS.

And then … the worst bit of any con, people started to leave. :( My 3 roomies left first, which was the worst bit of the weekend. I ended up tagging along with some twitter friends to get coffee, and we ended up sitting around for like 3 hours outside the cloakroom because no one wanted to leave.

We found out about Dan’s half marathon during this time, and I know people have this view of phannies like we’re all obsessive, invasive weirdos who just want to find out things for – I dunno, clout? But honestly everyone there was so proud of him and just like the whole weekend, it was great to be with people who understood. Like, I can hardly tell a co-worker that a youtuber I follow ran a marathon, they’d be like - okay, and…? So it was nice to sit there and sort of – celebrate it, in our own lil way.

We all parted ways on the train - I went back to my friend’s and watched Phil’s liveshow there, which was really a perfect way to end the weekend. I’m glad it sounded like he had such a nice time at Vidcon. Someone tweeted about him seeing all the people who had come to see just him and how excited they were to see him, and that warmed my heart. And hopefully his too.

The next day I returned to the Excel to have pizza lunch with the last two friends who were still in town, which really helped with the post-con blues, and then it really was it. Since then I’ve been hanging out at my friend’s flat and taking a couple of trips out to various shops or whatever, but I’ve mostly been tired and lazy and catching up on sleep a bit.

As I mentioned, I’m now a filthy addict. I will be … keeping an eye on future vidcons/events, for sure. >_> And I might be back in London in April, maybe. >_> many thoughts head full

#vidcon ldn #phil #long post #*announcement moose* i love phil

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dilfbatman · 4 years

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Hi I’m the Patrochilles fashion style anon, thank u for ur answer!! I loved it (especially Achilles in athleisure or crop tops and Patroclus with glasses) :,) Since we both love modern AUs, how do you imagine their first meeting as college students? (I live for Achilles pining after Patroclus hehe)

OMFG THIS IS SUCH A CUTE QUESTION & I AM V EXCITED TO COME UP W SOME STUFF!! :’)

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- i think it’s during orientation they they first like catch a glimpse of each other and achilles sees pat fully paying attention to the speaker w his hands cupping his chin and he looks so soft and beautiful & he quickly looks up bc he can feel eyes on him and pat sees achilles and he’s like wow that’s one insanely beautiful guy and their eyes meet for a second before they both blush and look away

- pat was wearing his gold rimmed glasses w clear lenses and his cream sweater and plaid brown trousers and achilles was wearing his school track team hoodie and sweats with his hair in a baby pink scrunchie (both look insanely adorable this is A Fact)

- and then the assembly ends and pat is waiting for people to get up so he doesn’t have to deal w the rush and achilles is obviously the first one up and tries to get to the floor and somehow introduce himself to pat without seeming like a weirdo and for some reason he’s really nervous? and there’s a huge crowd now and he can’t see pat and it’s like a sea of people and he feels kinda deflated but he promises himself that he WILL eventually meet the boy

- also they barely saw each other around campus and if they did it would be in passing and only one of them would be looking - the other would be busy/wasn’t paying attention until after the person left and they have a lingering feeling in their hearts like they just missed something but they can’t pinpoint it

- and then it isn’t until a semester later that they FINALLY have a class together! the class they have together is classics/greek myth and pat like the star pupil he is was already sitting there - glasses on, stationary & notebook out, soft black sweater w his favorite jean jacket that’s adorned w pins + patches <3 and achilles walks in and stops in his tracks bc !!!!! there’s the beautiful boy and there’s his chance and yes it’s frowned upon to sit next to people when there’s ample seating available but achilles has no shame and plops himself right next to patroclus with his hand held out and saying “hi! i’m achilles. what’s your name?”

- and pat is like ??? pretty boy who i see some of the time is sitting next to ME ??? and he sees achilles w his hair down wearing a spearmint green hoodie that matches his eyes and he has the biggest smile on his face w a slight blush and his eyes twinkle but are also like... palpably nervous and pat notices that his hand is out and that he’s talking to him so he stutters and says “hi, my name is patroclus - nice to meet you!”

- and both of their hands are warm and soft and it feels as if their hands were made for each other :’) pat feels the cold of achilles’ ring on his hands and achilles feels the cold of pat’s gold bracelet on the tips of his fingers and they’re just both noticing all these little things and their hearts are both racing and they give each other a very warm smile

- and throughout the class they’re both just trying to get kinda closer to each other - like pat’s arm is more closer to achilles while he’s taking notes and achilles feet are like right next to pat’s and he “accidentally” hits pat’s boots so he can touch his arm and whisper a “sorry!” and pat is like “you’re fine!” and achilles makes dorky jokes under his breath that pat rolls his eyes at while trying not to laugh

- and during class the professor says to write down 3 people’s names + numbers in the syllabus so the kids don’t bother him w a bunch of questions and immediately achilles is like “let’s exchange numbers... i mean we’re right next to each other & you seem super smart so this is kinda great!” and pat is like “sure! here you go!” and writes in his pink pen on achilles’ syllabus and achilles is just like !!!!! he didn’t even have to go through the nervewracking feat of asking for pat’s number bc his teacher just did that for him LMAO

- and class ends and they both walk out together while talking about some random things and achilles gives patroclus a pat on the back and is like “patroclus, i have a feeling we’re gonna be great friends.” and pat smiles and is like “me too.” :’) and they’re both Soft and their eyes are lost in each other’s for a bit before achilles gets called to go to his track meet and he quips a quick goodbye to pat but not before running backwards and yelling at pat to “COME TO MY MEET SOMETIME!” with a wink and pat is like “YEAH SURE okay just text me details!” and achilles is like ;) “I WILL!” and they’re both blushing and pat gives a kind wave and achilles gives one back and they both turn around and they have the BIGGEST SMILE on their face w a blush and you can see the LIGHT in their eyes :’)

AHHH they’re so cute and this makes me wanna make a tsoa modern!au college fic <3 hehe thanks so much for the fun ask! lemme know if you want more & sorry this ends early i just KNOW i would make this WAY too long hehe

#the song of achilles #modern!patrochilles #tsoa #i love them this is a cute ask!#patrochilles #the song of achilles headcanons #sorry it ended RIGHT when they meet i know you probs wanted something further but i know myself and this would be PAGES long #asks #in college trust me no one says ‘we’re gonna be great friends’ but this is soft and i wanna indulge #AHHH I LOVE THIS ASK :D #thank you again my friend!!!! i’ll create a tag for you if you’d like!!!! :’) i’ll have to think of one hehe

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everythng-is-blue · 5 years

Text

Don’t Embarrass Me

okay so i'm ngl i totally got this idea from vanderpump rules, but when i saw this part of the episode i couldn't help but imagine harry, y/n, and anne in this situation and how adorable it would be i hope you guys like it x

To say (y/n) was nervous was a complete understatement. She and Harry had been dating for about five months now, and they were getting pretty serious. They had even discussed moving in together within the near future, and Harry and even joked about them getting a dog together. Though she wasn't convinced it was a joke, but he swore it was. One day Harry was on the phone with his mother, and when the call ended Harry sat down next to (y/n) on the couch and smiled at her.

"Love, how would you like to meet my mum?" He asked giddily.

She looked at him in shock, and he immediately saw her becoming anxious.

"I mean, you don't have to quite yet if you aren't ready. It's just that she's coming to visit, so--"

"No, Harry, I'd love to," She reassured him.

"Oh, thank God," He sighed in relief, causing them both to laugh. "I was so nervous."

"That's the thing," She explained. "I've always wanted to meet her, I'm just super nervous about it. Like, what if she doesn't like me or something? I'd be so heartbroken,"

Harry pulled (y/n) into his arms and hugged her tightly. "There's no reason to be nervous. I know for a fact that she will absolutely adore you, just like her son does."

Soon, the day arrived, and no matter how many times Harry had told her she had nothing to worry about, she was still anxious and felt a tad nauseous. She desperately wanted Anne to like her, and couldn't shake the thought of things being super awkward, or her saying something wrong or stupid, or not being able to find the right words to say.

"Baby, I can tell that you're overthinking everything from over here."

Harry broke (y/n) out of her thoughts, and she sheepishly looked over at him as he stood in front of the mirror adjusting his tie.

"Ugh, I can't help it. I really want this to go well." She said defeatedly, walking over to him and looking at her reflection and rethinking her dress choice.

"And it will," He encouraged, taking her hands into his own. "My mum is a very kind, sweet, caring woman. I've told her tons about you and she's thrilled she finally gets to meet you. So breathe, it will all be fine."

She did as he said, breathing deeply and tried to calm her overwhelmed mind. They finished getting ready and then made their way to the restaurant they were meeting Anne at. (Y/n)'s stomach was filled with butterflies, and she realized the last time she was this nervous was when she was on her way to her and Harry's first date. As they were ushered to their table, they were met by a smiley Anne, who looked overjoyed to be seeing them.

"Oh my goodness, lovey, I swear you've grown since I've last seen you!" Anne cooed as she hugged her son as tightly as she could. "It's so good to see you!"

Harry chuckled, kissing her on the cheek. "I think I've been finished growing for quite some time, Mum. It's good to see you too."

Anne pulled away, then looked over at (y/n). "And you must be the (y/n) my son is always talking about!"

"That's me," (Y/n) laughed as Anne hugged her.

The three sat down at their table and ordered their drinks.

"It's so good to finally meet you," Anne said. "This one talks about you nonstop whenever we're on the phone."

Harry blushed. "I can't help it,"

"And you're just as beautiful as he told me you were," She complimented.

"Thank you," (Y/n) started blushing herself.

She then asked the basic questions, like where she was from, what job she had, and so on. (Y/n) felt her anxiety melt away as the conversation went on, and she was glad that Anne genuinely seemed interested in her and what she had to say. She started to see where Harry got his caring and compassionate nature from.

After the three of them had ordered their meal, Harry cleared his throat.

"So, here's the thing," He began. Anne and (y/n) looked at each other in surprise, then back at him.

"I have to go for a wee, but I just know that you both will take this opportunity to tell each other stories about me. So, I politely ask that you don't do that, or I'll be very upset."

Anne gave him a questioning look and he and (y/n) started cracking up.

"Son, you had me worried over that?!" She questioned. He shrugged, and before he could even reply, she said, "Just go, you dork."

"I will record you both while I'm gone," He warned playfully.

(Y/n) scoffed, swatting her hand at his arm. "Just go to the bathroom!"

"Don't embarrass me," He entreated, standing up from his seat. "Please, I'm begging you."

As he walked away, Anne gave (y/n) a mischievous look.

"Oh, that reminds me, there was this time when Harry was about... five I think? And he--"

"Mum!" Harry groaned, and (y/n) and Anne laughed at his dismay. He continued to walk away, picking up his speed.

As Harry entered the restroom, he felt a mixture of emotions. He was happy that things seemed to be going well, but he was also nervous himself because of the fact that his girlfriend and his mother were alone together for the first time.

Anne and (y/n) thought that Harry had been joking when he said that he was going to record their conversation while he was absent, but he sneakily placed his phone on his seat as he stood up, his voice memo app on and recording every word. Was it a bit strange that he had done that? Maybe. But he did it so he could know what exactly was said, they would probably choose to keep the conversation a secret between them, leaving him to his own thoughts and what ifs. He also did it so that he could have a fond memory of their first conversation alone, that he could look back on in the many years to come.

He finished his business and joined them back at the table, seeing that the food had arrived and the two of them were cracking up with tears in their eyes. Were they laughing at some story Anne had told (y/n) about his childhood? Or even worse, some story that (y/n) had decided to tell his mother.

Harry cleared his throat and the two directed their attention towards him.

"Hello, lovey! How was your trip to the restroom?" Anne teased.

Harry gave her a look, discreetly hitting the button on his screen to stop recording. "I see both of you are getting on well at my expense."

"Oh, if only you knew," Anne said as she winked at (y/n).

...

Back at Harry's, he and (y/n) were cuddled in bed, the tv playing some movie Harry didn't know the name of. (Y/n) had fallen asleep, and Harry's mind was on nothing but what had happened that day. Anne liked (y/n) just as much as knew she would, and the pair of them got along super well. He couldn't have been happier about how it all turned out. As he started to drift off to sleep, a thought popped into his head. He hadn't listened to the recording yet. He got out of bed as gently as he could, trying his best not to wake his girlfriend as he grabbed his phone and walked out onto the balcony attached to his room. The cold night air hit his skin, goosebumps forming as he rubbed his arms and shivered. He pulled up the recording on his phone, then took a deep breath as he pressed play. He skipped past the parts he had heard as he walked away, then pressed the bottom of his phone to his ear.

Anne sighed, shaking her head as she caught her breath. "Sometimes I worry about that son of mine."

"So do I," (y/n) agreed.

It got quiet for a moment, then Anne spoke up.

"You know, I could tell when you first got here that you were a bit nervous. But I'm glad to see that you're coming out of your shell."

(Y/n) exhaled, "Yeah, I'll be honest, I was pretty anxious about meeting you."

"There's no reason to be nervous, dear. I get that meeting someone's parent for the first time can be a bit nervewracking, but I promise you I'm not the type of mum that is rude towards their son's girlfriend for no reason. I can tell by the way he speaks of you and everything that you really care for one another. And if you make my son happy then that's all that matters. Besides, if you're as like me as he claims you are then I have no doubt we'll get on well."

(Y/n) chuckled. "Harry honestly means the world to me. And it may sound cliche, but he's not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. I couldn't picture my life without him. And I was so worried about today because I know how important you are to him, and I wanted your approval so badly."

"Well you definitely have it," Anne assured her. "One of the things that I want the most is someone for each of my children that love them as much as they possibly can, and makes them the happiest they've ever been. I can honestly say that you are that person for him, and I can't thank you enough for the joy you've brought my son."

"I'm so glad I get to be that for him, and he gets to be that for me." She replied.

"I could definitely see this going far, and I know that in the future you'll be the one to marry him. And I can't wait for that day." Anne said excitedly.

"Neither can I," (Y/n) beamed. "It'll be one of the best days of my life."

(Y/n) sniffled as she started to cry and Anne did the same, the two of them embracing each other in a hug. As they pulled away, Anne chuckled.

"Ah, enough crying, we're supposed to be embarrassing him."

"Oh, right!" (Y/n) laughed as well.

Harry could hear himself clearing his throat, and that was his cue that it was the end of the recording, so he stopped it. He felt a tear roll down his cheek as he smiled to himself. The whole time he was away he feared they would tell each other things that Harry wouldn't want the other to know about, but instead they had a wholesome conversation that filled his heart with love. He couldn't imagine it going any better than it did, and he was happy that two of the most important women in his life got along so well right from the start. He could picture them going on shopping trips together, having tea, and so many more adorable moments, and it made him smile so big that his face hurt.

He crawled back into bed, pulling (y/n) into him as he stared at her lovingly. He was really with the love of his life, and he was just excited for the day he would marry her as she and his mother were.

if you enjoyed this and have any ideas for other imagines feel free to request them! requests are always open x

#harry #harry styles #hs #harry styles imagines #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles au #one direction #1d #one direction imagines #niall horan imagines #liam payne imagines #louis tomlinson imagines #harry styles smut

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