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russos-ventitre · 7 months

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alessia russo x reader | lezioni di italiano II 🧸

✘ summary: your lessons with alessia continue and so do your unrequited feelings? who knows, maybe the blonde does feel some certain way about you

✘ warnings/tags: sick fic, friends to lovers, a bit of flirting, reader is mid-20s, AWFC!reader, arsenal!reader, ItalyWNT!reader, ItalyCaptain!reader

✘ words: 2675

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part i ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part ii

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part iii

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part iv

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part v

a/n: translations provided as always! i recommend reading the parts in order

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ due

A week later...

It had been a little over a week since you left your home country to move to England. Feeling a bit more comfortable than you did on your first day and really trying to push yourself to be more open per se. Even if a certain blonde was secretly helping that just purely by being her clumsy self.

Yeah, you'll admit, the England striker was really growing on you, and you felt this certain emptiness in your heart when you were apart from her. A feeling you've never really experienced before, certainly not back home and it kind of terrified you.

But you pushed your feelings aside, deciding that it would be best to focus on football first and not lose focus because you were head over heels for a girl you've known barely a week. To be fair, that was what you were here for, for football. You weren't exactly expecting to fall in love, certainly not this early in your move.

Another week meant another round of training and it was definitely something you could get used to. You were starting to get comfortable around the other girls, making small talk with them during your breaks and conversing during partner or gym work. But it wasn't the same as back at home. Being about to talk with your teammates a million words a minute in your mother tongue was something you deeply missed. You missed the feeling of already having established relationships with your teammates. You never really gave it a second thought that a new beginning meant starting off being alone. It didn't phase you at first with your first few training sessions, but it then quickly became lonesome. You soon realised that you didn't mind being on your own, what you did mind was no one really understanding you.

Sure you spoke both Italian and English, to a near fluent level, but being able to connect with people in a manner that you felt comfortable in didn't really exist.

And that's when it clicked. That's why you were so enthusiastic to teach the striker when she had asked you at that coffee shop. That's why you were willing to put yourself in a position you wouldn't otherwise put yourself in and be more open. That's why you felt that emptiness.

The girl had seen right through to your heart and saw your pain before it even became clear to you. She didn't just want to learn the language because of her culture. She saw that you were lonely, extending out an olive branch to you to get to know you. She was the only one out of the entire squad who actually made an effort to get to know you and it was only now as you lay in your bed staring at the ceiling that you realised that.

Truth is, Alessia had been through a similar experience herself. Having been sent off to UNC at the ripe age of 18, she knew what it was like to be in an unfamiliar country before, she knew what it was like to be away from home.

On your way to training, you got a text from Alessia, pulling your phone out once you had parked your car outside the building.

alessia ⭐️ [6:58]: hey [y/n]

alessia ⭐️ [6:58]: im not gonna be able to make it to training today :((

[y/n] 🦋 [7:03]: hey alessia

[y/n] 🦋 [7:03]: everything okay?

alessia ⭐️ [7:03]: yea

alessia ⭐️ [7:03]: just feeling a bit nauseous this morning 🥺

alessia ⭐️ [7:04]: im sorry

alessia ⭐️ [7:04]: could you tell jonas and the girls

[y/n] 🦋 [7:04]: yea sure :))

[y/n] 🦋 [7:04]: are we still on for tonight?

alessia ⭐️ [7:04]: umm maybe depends how i feel sorry 🥺

[y/n] 🦋 [7:04]: okay stella

[y/n] 🦋 [7:04]: feel better alright?

[y/n] 🦋 [7:05]: ill text you after training to check on you

alessia ⭐️ [7:05]: thanks xx

You slid your phone into your pocket and walked into the building, finally taking the right turns and making your way to where the rest of the team was. It was weird being there without the blonde, she lit up the entire room when she was there, and because of it, it was eerily quiet. The weather didn't really help that, with it being cold and rainy, but still, it was oddly uncomfortable.

You searched for Jonas, finding him in his office, knocking on his door you entered.

"Hey [y/n]. How are things?" The Swede asked with a big smile.

"Uh.. good yeah. I came to tell you that Alessia won't be coming to training, she's not feeling too well." You admitted quietly, your coach taking note of your dampened mood by this.

"Is everything alright?" He questioned, hoping that whatever it is, isn't too serious.

"Yeah.. she said she has really bad nausea. I plan on checking in on her later today."

"That's good.. I'll see you on the pitch then?"

You gave him and nod and waved goodbye before closing his door shut.

Exiting the building pretty much miliseconds after training had ended, you retrieved your phone from your kitbag, opening up WhatsApp.

[y/n] 🦋 [14:00]: hey stella

[y/n] 🦋 [14:00]: how are you feeling?

No response, not even a read.

[y/n] 🦋 [14:05]: alessia?

[y/n] 🦋 [14:05]: everything okay?

Still nothing. You sat in your car confused, trying to rack your brain for any reason why she might not be answering. Appointments? No. Plans with friends? Possibly. But she felt sick this morning, she wouldn't want to go out, right? You decided it would be best to visit her flat, to make sure everything was alright.

You drove to the blonde's flat after training, in a bit more of a rush than you probably should've, hoping that she was feeling better considering she didn't reply to your texts. You walked up to the door, trying to peak through her glazed windows for any signs of life, next trying her letter slot, peaking through and seeing that all of the lights were off. Her Mercedes was still in the driveway so she couldn't be far.

You began searching around her front door for any sign of a spare key, checking in bushes, under her door mat, and finally finding it in one of her flower pots. You shook your head, unimpressed at how easy it was for you to find it, making a note to tell her to find a better hiding place for it. You quietly unlocked the front door, taking your shoes off and closing it shut behind you.

"Alessia? Sei a casa?" [Are you home?]

You quietly padded through her flat, trying to locate where her bedroom was, finally finding it once you reached upstairs. You carefully cracked the door open to see the blonde curled up in a ball on her queen-sized bed, a pillow in her arms, and a grey jumper consuming her torso. She looked absolutely adorable. Your hand came to delicately brush the hairs our of the girl's face, seeing a bit of drool coming out of her mouth.

"Stella.. hey.." You gave her a light shake, watching as she stirred a bit before fluttering her eyes open.

"[y/n]?" The striker asked, recognising the warmth of your accent.

"You alright?" You asked lightly, stroking her cheek with your fingers.

"Y-Yeah.." She mumbled, her face leaning into your touch.

"Sorry for barging in.. I just wanted to make sure you were alive.. especially since I didn't get a text back.." You admitted, seeing as the young girl below you began to pout.

"I'm sorry.. I must've slept through them.." She apologised, grabbing the hand near her face and hiding behind it.

"No no.. it's okay Alessia.. I just got worried, that was all.." You reassured, feeling her cheek heat up.

"I-I can leave if you want. We can reschedule your lessons for another time if you still feel sick." You continued, not wanting to overstay your visit.

"No, it's fine!" She gripped around your hand tighter, removing her face from behind it. "I think that nap really helped.. it's what I usually do when I feel like this anyway.."

You smiled at her, seeing her become a bit flustered now that she was fully awake. "I'll go wait downstairs for you. Take your time, stella." You gave her one last squeeze, before making your exit. Walking downstairs to her living room, you allowed yourself time to admire her decor, glancing at the plants scattered around her house and occasional football memorabilia displayed either on the walls or on tables.

You couldn't help but get distracted by her dirtied Euros jersey that was hung up in a frame, with her golden medal dangling in front of it. 'Wow' you thought, she really is a big deal, huh?

"Euros final that.." A voice came from behind, turning to face the source.

"..first time in England history." The blonde smiled proudly as she walked over to you, standing beside you to admire it.

"I would've stayed to watch it but we were already back home at that point. I'm sure it was amazing."

"It was." She happily hummed.

Both of you made your way to her kitchen, the younger girl grabbing your wrist, which in many cases you would've resisted instantly rather than turn to putty in her grasp, allowing her to guide you over to one of the stools by the kitchen island.

"Posso portarti qualcosa da bere? Caffè?" [Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee?] The blonde bit her lip as she held onto the cupboard, waiting for your response.

You lifted your head up from looking at your hands, blushing a bit as you weren't expecting her to speak in your native tongue when offering.

"Uh- sì! Sarrebbe fantastico, grazie." [Yes! That would be great, thanks.]

"E un poco di latte troppo! Grazie Stella!" [And a little milk too! Thanks star!]

Alessia prepared your drinks, turning around and handing you yours when she was done.

"Questo è perfetto!" [This is perfect!] You announced, swallowing more of the drink satisfied. The striker all but blushing and hiding behind her mug as she watched you take more sips.

"Right, so I was thinking.. that maybe in the next few weeks we could try watching some films in Italian. We can start off simple with like Pixar films or something with Italian dubs.. if you'd like.."

"Like Luca..?" The younger girl's eyes lit up, her hand absentmindedly reaching for your own as she sat across from you at the kitchen island.

"Yeah.." You sighed, enjoying seeing a spark of joy shoot through her.

".. actually that might be one of the best ones to choose from." You sent her back a smile, not even noticing the soft pads of her fingers trailing across the backs of your hands.

The two of you continued to chat back and forth, mostly in English but partly in Italian which made your heart happy. The effort that the blonde went through to master the words that she had been learning, pronunciation-wise and meaning-wise, was really paying off, now being able to hold small conversations even if she had to stop and ask what certain words were in Italian.

"Come si dice.. stadium?" [How do you say..] She asked mid-conversation.

"Ah.. stadio.."

"Oh.. durante l'Euros abbiamo vinto contro Germania a stadio di Wembley, è stato incredibile." [During the Euros we wont against Germany at Wembley Stadium, it was amazing.] She blushed, reminising on the memories had on that day.

"Sembra incredibile. Vorrei essere lì con te." [It sounds amazing. I wish I was there.] You sighed, your fingers now intertwining with her own across the cold marble of the kitchen island.

The conversation continued, flicking between different desired subjects that the blonde was interested in. Your hands staying laced together, never looking away from one another and smiling all the way. It felt so natural, it felt right.

Your heart fluttered the more her Italian accent formed, it almost sounding natural when she spoke at a normal speed without slip ups. It was infectious to hear and it never dawned on you until now on how sexy an Italian accent can actually be.

"-tutto bene?" [-everything okay?] She paused from her original thought, noticing that your eyes were glazing over.

"Sì! Stai andando alla grande, Continua." [Yeah! You're doing great. Keep going.] You praised, seeing the strike blush and give your hand a little squeeze.

I need to stop staring off at her like that. I'm supposed to be teaching her not getting distracted by her.

The striker guided you over to the front door, her hand delicately rubbing up and down your arm.

"You coming to training tomorrow?" You asked with a smile.

"Yeah.. definitely." She nodded, blushing when she noticed how much you cared about her absence.

"Good." You hummed.

"Oh- uh.. by the way.. you need to hide your spare key better." You removed the extra set from your pocket, placing it in her palm. "..somebody might just walk in uninvited.." You raised your brows suggestively, witnessing the blonde blush more.

"Cheers.." The younger girl giggled, watching as you slowly exited her flat.

"Ci vediamo domani, Stella." [See you tomorrow, star.] You began walking down her pavement before you felt a hand grab at your wrist.

Alessia pulled you back towards herself, pulling you into a hug. At first, you weren't sure what was happening but you quickly accepted the hug and hugged the blonde back.

"Thank you.." She sighed, inhaling the scent of your hoodie as she hugged you tighter.

"..thank you for checking in on me.. it means a lot." She continued, her face nuzzling into the material.

"Of course, it's the least I can do." You chuckled, rubbing your hand up and down her back before pulling back slightly to place two kisses on her cheeks, freezing in your tracks when you realised that you'd done it again.

"Sorry.. I should really stop that.." You admitted embarrassed as your hands rested on her waist, giving her an apologetic squeeze.

"No, it's fine.." Her hand came to tilt your face back towards hers, copying the same gesture that you did to her, pressing a feather-light kiss on each of your cheeks.

"..there.. even." She murmured, blushing harder when she noticed you swallowing hard.

There was an awkward silence that crept in after your flirty exchange, both of your eyes flicking between each other's lips and pupils, never able to settle on one of them for more than a few seconds.

Alessia was the first to break the silence, gaining your attention as she rubbed her thumbs in circles on your shoulders. "Lessons tomorrow yeah?"

"Mhm." You pursed your lips together, nodding in response.

"Mine or yours?"

"Whatever's easiest for you." You hummed, noticing that the striker wasn't going to remove her hands from your shoulders anytime soon. Not that you minded, to be fair your hands weren't exactly planning on leaving her waist anytime soon either and it was clear she didn't mind.

Her hands began to fidget with the collar of your hoodie, licking her lips as her eyes lingered around your neck. "I can come round yours, follow you home after training." She mumbled back, focused on your choice of clothing and the softness of the material.

You let out a shaky sigh, trying to not make it obvious that her actions were clearly affecting you. "Y-Yeah that works.." Giving her a squeeze on her hips, you brought her eyes back up to yours, her crystal blue eyes looking deep into your soul.

"Good." She bit her lip, giving you a light pat on your chest before pulling away, your fingers lingering on her sides until she was too far away to reach. Already missing the feeling of the blonde in your grip and the soft weight of her hands on your shoulders.

"Tomorrow at yours then." She restated the obvious, her mind clearly not able to form new thoughts as she was a bit flustered.

"Mhm. I look forward to it." You let slip out, seeing how the blonde's pupils dilated at your words.

"Me too." She replied boldly, not having missed your boldness either.

"Ciao Stella." [Bye, star.] You smiled, not really sure what else to say as anxiety crept up your throat.

"Ciao, [y/n]." [Bye.] Alessia waved, closing the door as you stepped into your car.

‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎← part i ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎part iii →

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #awfc #woso #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso community #woso imagines #engwnt x reader #england women #arsenal women #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc

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solitary-cutie · 2 months

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Darkness to our light. Part II

Part I

Part III

Part IV

prompt: you and coriolanus are married, it's unbearable for you, but it will all end soon

contains: dark, manipulative, controlling coriolanus. fem!reader.

And so you are sitting in the living room waiting for the only person ypu could talk to - the piano teacher. Sharing with desire to continue your once neglected studies, Coryo did not fail to fulfill whim of his better half and help Her. He would always help, even without asking. No matter if you needed this intervention. He would spend all the money on your wants without even mentioning it, as if forgetting, deliberately ignoring any checks in the stores, but you clearly knew that this wastefulness was another yoke around your neck, because one should be grateful. Especially if the checks came in the mail, and the history of purchases served him in calculating the spending for the month.

“Hello. Hey, you guys quiet today? Helpers’s a bit tense today. Not even tea! Can you believe it? Didn't offer! - The teacher laughed, putting out a folder with notes, a pencil, an eraser and an orange leather notebook from her bag on the snow-white piano.”

“Oh yes, He's planning a dinner party, everyone's getting ready. He's inviting coworkers, his sister. He's looking forward to the promotion.”

“Oh, wow. Who's coming from yours?”

You didn't say anything, was ashamed of yourself. “No, it is his night.” Silence. “Maybe you'll come?” Open hope in the voice of her student, almost her age.

“When? I had plans, but I'd stop by.”

“It starts at 7:00. I'll be waiting, you know! You can come when it's convenient for you.”

A weightless touch, as if you'd brushed something off the back of her hand. You ran your eyes around the room. He's not home. The teacher softened.

“Okay, I'll try.” She finally sits down on a nearby chair. “Come on, show me how you've been practicing. Have you tried to put both hands together yet?”

“I tried, but no luck.”

“Did you play the metronome?”

“Yeah, I got more confused.”

“All right, I'll do the math. Go ahead. E-e-e, one and, two and--“

The game began, with mistakes and quick, hurried edits.

“You've changed.” Said the teacher, stopping counting out the rhythm, because the student was already helping herself with the silent movement of her lips.

“He says the same thing to me.” She chorused the rhythm.

“You're not so much flirtatious, laughing. The author's depression? When was the last time you sat down at the pen?” She smiled.

“I miss it. Okay, wait, what's the best way to play this? I forgot.”

The teacher intercepted her hands and began playing the obscure part, counting out the rhythm aloud with intonation highlighting that "And three, And four, And one...".

“You're unhappy.”

“No, why?”

“That's not a question. I can recommend a psychologist, the best woman I know. She helped me let go of my resentments.”

“I'm not resentful.”

“Teach you to love yourself, so you don't deny those resentments, but accept them. Appreciate yourself, don't deny being alone, but accept being one with yourself. You are not alone, know you can walk away from where you want to walk away from.” The teacher did not realize how she had pushed the piano aside and how she had moved on to passionate speeches. She had been spared the resentment, but not the desire to save.

You looked around the room again out of habit.

“At least he doesn't hit you?”

“No, God, of course not.” You caught the doubt in her eyes and a second frown furrowed her brow. “No, seriously, I wouldn't stand for that. I'm not leaving him. I can't.”

“There's no word for "can't."

“I mean, what dictionary can I give you to back that up? I don't even want to leave. We are one and the same, and he won't just let me go. The only way I'm getting out of here is with my feet up. If I'm lucky and he dies before I do, I'll have a few years of pleasure.” She smiled, starting the composition from the beginning.

“In the left hand hurry a little. And how can you reason like that about a man you're married to? And if the children come, what will you do?”

“The later they come, the better, God forbid now.”

“Does he want them now?”

You hesitated, not stopping the game. It was embarrassing. Again.

“Well he hasn't talked about them yet, though I don't know how he plans to.”

“So even your body doesn't belong to you? You don't talk about your plans, not your plans, but his.”

“My soul doesn't even belong to me. Look, my arms are tired, can I take a little break?” Nod. “What's the best way to pedal here?”

“First learn to control both hands.”

Silence.

You wonder if you could call it a pun. If your body and even the imperishable substance of your being belongs to your husband, a white-haired angel raised in hell and invited into the ether of paradise, a world of powerful, fully-endowed people, will you be able to control what you lost access to on the date that the calendar refers to as the "Anniversary of Dating"?

The remaining hour of class passed in silence, resulting in the learning of a new sonata, even with the use of a pedal to stretch the sound, giving it a smooth flow from one bar to the next.

“I have a question here: when will you finally learn the bass clef? Will you stop signing notes?” The teacher mocked, marking in the diary the next lesson for January.

“It's a rhetorical question.” You looked at the Interlocutor. “Oh man, I don't like that bass clef, I can't memorize it. The only thing I know is what the C note looks like. That's it.”

“Don't forget the "B."

“Oh yeah, and then..." She made a long road to nowhere with her hand.

“And then let the Snow land on top.” He stood at the white archway that opened the living room, leaning lightly against the blue wall with gilded patterns and trees.

You shuddered, nerves to no avail, you were easily frightened, which could not be said of your teacher, - a girl strong-willed. Nevertheless, the fright laid a heavy stone on her heart, sinking it into her heels, and she dropped her pencil and, looking at him confusedly, hurried to pick it up.

“I didn't mean to disturb you, much less frighten you.” The ice-cold eyes flashed over each of the girls, burning their insides with cold.

Coriolanus knew you were partial to this pianist. From the first time you met her, He had noticed the glint in your eyes. Gross, He didn't approve of it, but He also knew it was certainly not worth worrying about. You amuse yourself as best you can from lack of socialization with Him. Yes, maybe you complain about Him, suffer, but you won't leave Him because you don’t want to. These reflections might have reassured Him if He had once experienced a semblance of even doubt, let alone anxiety.

“Ginny, my wife and I are organizing a dinner party tonight. We'd love for you to come.” His eyes darted to you, looking at your teacher. What will you do? If you start coaxing her “friend”, this conversation never happened between you, but if you walk up to Him and...

“What a great idea!” You whispered, flying up to your husband and hugging him by the forearm. He smiles, it all became clear, you had already invited her, but was it scary to ask Him? “I was afraid to invite Ms. Ring because of the possibility of rejection.”

Now you are on His side, snuggling up to Him to get hers. Manipulative. And who are you trying to bend to your will is unclear.

“Yes, of course, thank you for the invitation, I'd love to come. But I'm afraid I'm busy, so I won't be able to make it to the beginning of the evening.”

“I didn't tell you the time, in case you get there.”

You both looked at each other. The pianist was confused.

“Dinner starts at 6:00 or 7:00 in the evening. Ms. Ring apparently skips a lot of dinner.” She tried to put the question into an impromptu justification for the two of them, but it came out badly. The answer to his line didn't work anyway.

“It starts at seven o'clock, but knowing some of the guests, they'll be a little later.” He looked at his wife. “Play the new composition you've learned for me.”

“We haven't played it all the way through yet. We need time.”

“Play it.” Demand…

#coriolanus snow #coryo x reader #coriolanus x you #coryo x you #fanfic #coryo snow #president coriolanus snow #dark fanfic #dark fanfiction #hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes

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anxiously-going · 2 months

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Found this piece tonight. Apparently I had decided to do something with my AU idea of Bones being a doctor in the rescue efforts on Tarsus IV

Len cautiously stepped into the holding cell and crouched down beside the bed to try to get to the kid’s eye level. “I’m so sorry,” he said softly. The kid simply stared back in guarded confusion. “They never should have done this to you. This is wrong and I’m so sorry. I’m gonna undo these restraints, okay? But I need you to be still, okay? I don’t want you pulling on them and getting hurt. I bet they already hurt, don’t they?”

The kid hesitated then nodded almost imperceptibly.

Len nodded and let out a sigh. “I’m gonna undo them, but I’m gonna go slow, okay? If you were already tuggin’ on ‘em you probably bruised yourself up, there might even be a few fractures, alright? And the last thing I wanna do is hurt you while I’m tryin’a help you. So I’m gonna start with the middle one, then do your right side, then your left, okay?” he waited for another nod from the kid then stood. “My name’s Len, by the way.”

“Are you a doctor?”

“I am. I’m a family doctor from Georgia.” Len answered and carefully loosed the strap over the teen’s chest then tossed it over the edge of the bed. “I’m gonna start with your wrist, okay? Don’t punch me.” He offered a smirk, but the kid didn’t seem interested in the joke.

“Why are you here?”

“I was recommended by Commander Christopher Pike-”

“Is he here?!” the kid tried to bolt upright, was held back by his wrists and fell back, biting back a loud groan of pain and tired rolling onto his right side.

“Easy, kid, easy!” Len urged.

“Don’t touch me!” he snarled when Len rested a hand on his chest, trying to push him to lie flat.

Len raised his hands and took a step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Where is he? I wanna talk to him.”

“I’m sorry, kid, he’s not here. He’s still on earth. Kid, listen I’m really worried about that arm, I think you might have stress fractures from the restraints. It’s really important that I get those off and that we get regen going so we get you feeling better.”

“I wanna talk to him.”

Len pulled out his communicator. “McCoy to-”

“Security is on their way,” a voice interrupted.

“If a single security guard steps into this room I’m gonna put ‘em on a stretcher!” Leonard snarled. “My patient knows Commander Pike and would like to speak to him. Get communication back to earth as soon as possible.” he snapped the communicator shut before the voice could argue. “Can I please fix your wrist now?” Len waited for the kid to nod then stepped forward and gingerly picked up his hand. “Alright, kid, this is probably gonna hurt coming off just try to be still, okay?”

The teen audible winced and really tried not to squirm.

“Shh. It’s okay,” Len murmured. He laid the hand back down once the restraint was off. “Okay, I’m gonna get the other ones, then I’ll take a scan on your wrist and we’ll go from there, okay? And after that I’m gonna help you sue the pants off’a whoever did this for medical malpractice and negligence. So. You gonna let me keep caliin’ ya ‘kid’ or are you gonna tell me your name?” He tossed aside the right ankle restraint.

“Didn’t you read my file?”

“I did. You have quite the laundry list of allergies by the way. But I don’t want to assume you go by ‘James’ and I’d rather call you by what you're comfortable with. And if that’s ‘kid’ that’s fine too.”

“JT.”

Len glanced up from the left ankle.

“You can call me JT.”

“Nice to meet you, JT.” He set to work on the last restraint. “My name is Leonard, so you can see why I go by Len. Or McCoy, that’s my last name. I’m gonna take a scan on your arm now, okay?”

JT watched him carefully as he ran the tricorder wad over his arm. “How bad is it?” he asked when Len sighed.

“It’s not bad as far as breaks go. You’ve got some stress fracture that…actually looks kinda old. It’s nothing we can’t fix. Just makes me angry that you have them at all. Honestly, kid, you're gonna need to be careful for a while. Right now you're pretty severely malnourished, so your bones are weak and they're gonna break a lot easier than they normally would. We can do some diet modifications and treatments like that, but it's still gonna take some time before you've gotten your strength back."

"Are you some kind of bone specialist?"

Len gave an amused smile. "What makes you ask that?"

"You're the only one who checked them."

Len's smile faltered. "No, I'm not a specialist. But they are pretty important. Wouldn’t be able to hold a shape without them. Have you ever had any regen done for a broken bone?”

JT shook his head and Len let out another sigh.

“Alright, I’m gonna explain how it works because I have a feeling you're not gonna be a fan. So to start, it’s not actually your wrist bones that are fractured. They’re bruised, but the actual fracture is right here-” He held up his hand, palm out and touched each side of his arm just under the wrist “-in your radius and your ulna. There was uneven pressure because of where the restraints ended and that’s what caused the fractures. Now, the regenerator is going to go over your hold wrist and part of your arm, kinda like a brace. It’s gonna have to stay on for probably a good two hours. And you gotta keep the arm still while it’s on, alright? I’m not gonna lie to you, JT, it probably won’t be very comfortable, and it’s okay to feel anxious about it. Especially considering what those...fools did to you before. But that is the best way to take care of it. If you really don’t want to do that I can put an old fashioned cast on you, but then it’s gonna take about six weeks for it to heal and you’ll have to wear the cast 24/7 that way.”

“Can’t it just heal on its own?”

“Not without some kind of support to prevent the fractures from getting worse. It’s a miracle they aren’t worse already. Your body needs calcium for a lotta things, JT. One of those things is muscle movement. When you’re not getting enough calcium through your diet your body starts breaking down your bones to get it. That’s why your bones are so brittle right now. The only other thing we can do is I could sedate you-”

“No.”

“Okay. I won’t do that then. How ‘bout this. We try the regen first, we’ll leave it on for...half an hour. If you’re feelin’ a little overwhelmed we’ll take it off and you can take a break and we’ll go from there about and see how you feel. Maybe we get it going and you feel like you can do a little longer, great! We’ll do it for longer. Maybe we just do this in short bursts. It might take a little longer than just the two hours that way, but if it makes you more comfortable we can do that.”

"We can try it," J.T. agreed.

#jim kirk #leonard mccoy #tarsus iv #my writing #dont have an official name for this au and i am open to suggestions #star trek #star trek aos #star trek au

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luderailing · 1 year

Text

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Thankyou to @kyuhu and @council-of-beetroot for tagging me in this! ( and sorry I took ages lol )

What book are you currently reading?

I was reading The Gifts That Bind Us, but Ive set it aside to be finished later haha. Currently reading Girl in Pieces. Both S tier books 100% recommend (also if you do read The Gifts That Bind Us the first one is All Our Hidden Gifts👍)

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

Hmm, not sure I went to the theaters that much but. My favorite movie that came out this year has probably been Enola Holmes 2 if that counts

What do you usually wear?

Every day I wake up and choose between dressing like someone’s grandpa or goth broke teenager (probably an accurate description of me) I don’t even know what to call it. My closet is a whole mess of thrift store finds and one(1) arcade carpet pattern button up of which I love but have nothing to match. Lots of accessories too I have way too many necklaces and chokers

How tall are you?

5"1. Or 155 cm. I’m keeping my hopes up

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Taurus! April 26th. And I looked it up I don’t share a birthday with anyone I recognize but apparently it’s national pretzel day. So that’s a win in my book

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

I usually go by Feliks to my friends and stuff but I’ve had nicknames before. That was? Quite a while ago though.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

My friend, I’ve still got a long long way to go.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

Nope and also no! Life would be so much easier if I could marry fictional men though frfr?

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

Good at? Remembering small details as much as I can (but never able to remember anything important, of course) and bad at? Social cues and emotions. Everything about emotions!

Dogs or cats?

I love dogs, I have two dogs, but cats. I can’t handle loud noises for the life of me and dogs barking is one of the worst sounds to me. I love them but I don’t think I could own one. I would rather have a cat personally ^^;

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

Ohhh ohooo. Hold on. Lemme find it. I never posted either of these projects but

“I have questions for you!”

“No you don’t!”

Or,

“Holy shit. Concrete.”

What’s something you would like to create content for?

Yeah, Hetalia. But I’d also love to pursue my own project. Something I made completely on my own. I think that’d be neat if only I actually even get to it ;-;

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Hetalia, and same with the it’s part of a bigger interest in history and geography. It just kind of fueled it yknow? I love learning about different cultures and places and stuff. But I also love stop motion animation. It’s gorgeous and I’d love to work on something like that some day!

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Hmm, I can’t think of anything huge but Hamilton was going to/did already? I think. a performance in a city near me this month and I wasn’t able to go

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I can eat three of those ridiculously large pretzel rods at once without water in between. Checkmate dad

Are you religious?

Nope. That’s kind of it. My grandparents are extremely Christian but my parents never took me to church or anything like that

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

Probably a plane ticket outta here. Actually two or three. There’s a few specific people I couldn’t leave without haha

Thanks again for tagging me!

Also. @koolkat9 if you haven’t done this already!

#tag game #long post

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thermesiini · 2 years

Note

orv is good & fun & i like it, like uve already been told its a story about stories & the specific way it expresses its themes regarding storytelling & narration & its impact on both audience & writer is like nothing ive ever seen before in media & is......but its about the only thing i think it does actually well. it tries having other themes as well in there which are kinda halfassed in execution & the character writing is a bit inconsistent & only okay at best, like no character or relationship actually compels me that much aside from the handful that are directly tied into the main theme of stories. pretty much everything in orv outside of the "story about stories" theme is mediocre & not as fleshed out as they could've been, both in terms of characters & other themes; but the best part about orv is prob that it clearly knows its strengths & weaknesses. orv is like 75% "a story about stories" & 25% other shit, the authors knew what they did well & what they didnt, so orv's theme about stories is the best & only notable thing about it, & said theme is executed incredibly well

sorry u prob didnt want an unnecessarily long opinion piece in ur askbox. i'll try to be helpful instead: a translation for the novel is very easy to find online so ull have no trouble w/ that, but the eng translation might be a bit hard to read thru due to some rough patches in the early days of the translation. its still understandable just awkward sometimes & outright incorrect with a few lines. if u have trouble reading thru it, i rec reading the flame scans translation of the manhwa adaptation, which is not only very faithful to the original but also the translation by flame scans is the best & most accurate one out there. have fun reading btw whenever u do try it out bc from what i know of ur tastes ur sure to like it!

its nice to hear an opinion on how it was written and definitely gives me something to keep in mind whenever i do read it so thank you, and thank you the translation recommendation as well. to be honest i one of the reasons i havent gotten around to reading it is because i know fan tl tend to be a bit janky, but ultimately i am very interested in stories about stories and ive heard good things about orv so it will be in my future

#anon

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saturnsstufff · 3 years

Text

The Empress (pt.II)

Hello again! I hope your having an amazing day, night, or morning! Don't forget to drink water!

Warnings: mention of Alcohol, swearing

Words: 5,951

The time spent on the ship was long, tiring and freezing. The weather danced between rain, sleet, snow, and hail. Complete opposite of what conditions you were used to. But thankfully land was just up ahead. The ever changing weather shifting finally for snow. As the snow danced in the sky you couldn't help notice the beauty, back at your village snow was basically never seen. unless you went to the higher elevations that is.

As you approached the tiny harbor the captain made it very clear he would not be staying. He was here to drop you off and leave, not wanting to stay long at the Empire. This had you chewing your lip, finding your way home would be up to you at the end of this. Which wouldn't be so bad usually, but you didn't know anyone. So it was bad.

When they docked you took your things. The sword carefully wrapped up and strapped to your back, your bag sitting atop it. you'd be damned if your going to loose that blade now that you were finally at your destination. You carefully got off the boat with a little help from a crew member. Trying not to fall from the ice already forming.

The first thing you could notice about the land was the unfamiliar sharp smell in the air of winter. It was absolutely freezing. You pulled your cloak around you more, slowly making your way to the small village. The land definitely wasn't welcoming. Besides the village there was just plain barren land, draped with light fluffy snow. The village was however quaint. Logged cabins stood as a contrast against the white snow. Smoke rose up into the air by winding, and straight chimneys. Looking around at the village almost looked like a nice painting. But when you look up you realize the quaint little village was surrounded by ice spikes. They looked as if the gods had thrown them as spears, impaling the earth. Although beautiful, the thought of one of them crashing down on you, had you weary.

The people were the second thing you noticed. They were mostly hybrids, but humans were also seen wondering about. As you walked away from the harbor more people came into view. The people were so beautiful, it almost took you by surprise. Tucked beneath large fur lined cloaks you could see a similarly of sharp featured faces. Even the human hybrids looked ethereal, ranging from tall divine Enderman, Piglins, animals, your sure you even saw a Shulkerbox.

The once quiet humming streets were soon differentiated by a loud buzzing noise that shook you from your admiring state, your turned to see rather large... things? The things you were looking at were made out of metal, that much you could easily see. A bright blue painted sun sat on the side. The signa of the Antarctic Empire. On the top of the metal contraption there were wings. Two of them, spanning way out on the sides. The things slowly circled until they landed in the barren field. There were four of them, all of them slowly landing one at a time. Slowly they moving to the village edge. You sat and watched with curiosity until the buzzing had stopped.

At this point you realized how cold you were. You tore your eyes away from the metal contraptions. Looking around for a place to seek warmth. You saw a Bar up ahead and instantly knew that would be the best place to start. Walking over, minding the large banks of snow, you pushed the door open. Instantly you met with a rush of warm air. A smile fell on your lips, man you missed that feeling. Being on the boat they only had lanterns, and you better believe that did not keep you warm. You pushed in further. Looking around for a seat, the only ones you could find were at the Bar it self. Setting your bag by your feet, sword still strapped to your back you climbed onto the stool. You couldn't help but look around at the décor. Behind the bar, the shelfs were covered with random bottles and bottles of liquor. Some almost gone and some not even opened yet. The walls were lined with mounts from hunts, elk, deer, the occasional game animals. The one that shocked you was the bear. Back at your village bear was not local, so seeing a mount of one, and the sheer size they were was kind of terrifying.

The bar it self was mostly filled with men and the occasional women. Some people were gambling, but most were just drinking and laughing. Enjoying each others company. After summing the atmosphere up you turned to the bartender and offered a shy smile.

"Wha'd you like?" He asked, his voice was deep and gruff. He was dressed very nice, a vest with a white button up. His hair combed back, he looked like he was ready for a date with someone. He had a hard face, but did offer a smile.

"Whatever you recommend?..." You asked a bit sheepishly. He smiled wider, nodding before he turned his back. Starting to prepare your drink. You took your time to look around more. The wood of the bar under your hands was nice, kinda reminded you of sitting back at the kitchen table with your family. Your family. The thought of them pained you. After being away for a bit you came to see how much of a homebody you really were. Your mothers kind smile, morning coffee with your father, the roosters crowing to alert the farmers of morn. The smell of dew on the grass. The sigh that escaped your lips was one of lonesome.

Unbeknownst to you, a stranger had entered the bar. The quiet chatter soon died down to nothing. A few groups of people even decided to leave the bar as a whole. The strange man, a tall one for sure, pulled out the stool and sat next to you. With him came three men as well. All were dressed in high ranking military attire. Combat boots adorned there feet well heavy cloaks draped there shoulders. Beneath the cloaks something was definitely poking up towards the ceiling. The fur that lined the cloaks was not mere rabbit or minx. It was big, and definitely fluffy. But oh so warm. The fourth man, the strange tall man, stood out. He was in a heavy cloak as well, but also in robes of green instead of blues. He wore a white hat with green stripes. His face had a bit of stubble, but it looked nice. His hair was sandy blonde, with fairly straight locks. It was a tad on the longer side, but he had it pulled into the hat mostly. Only a braid and a bit of bangs poped out the front. Besides the normality of his appearance, the thing that stuck out were his Great wings. There were the color of a raven, but on a much greater scale.

"Hello" His voice rang though as he addressed the bartender. This caught your attention, pulling you from your thoughts of your parents. Looking to the men you had immediately noticed the military attire, it was unsettling to say the least. You glanced away, feeling like you shouldn't be looking at them. The atmosphere had grown tense. Deciding to face down instead of the new company, you noticed the bartender had set a drink in front of you. The liquid was clear, unsure if it was water however due to a weird strong burning smell.

Your attention was drawn back to the man again, he whispered something to the three military men before they left with a swift nod. for some reason the military men were more terrifying than the man next to you. At there leave, the blonde gentleman was alone at the bar. His gaze met with your curious one.

"Hello there little one" he said gently. His voice was kind, and light hearted. The smile that laced his lips was nothing near malicious.

"Hello" with your reply you gave a light nod. Still a little unsure.

"You don't look like your from around here" He must have known, or judged your lack of warmer heavier clothes. You could only nod in agreement. "What brings you to the Empire? You hav'ta be fucking stupid to come here for a vacation" he mused, his sight chuckle was warm to hear. You couldn't help but smile a bit at his contagious one.

"I actually came to deliver this sword to the Empire.. I'm just uncertain how to get to the capital" his interest almost visibly double.

"Really now" He removed his hat. Setting it aside, you could see a hanging emerald from his ear. "Did you make the sword yourself?" He took his drink and easily downed the whole thing, facing you for curiosity. Wherever he came from he was obviously very thirsty.

"I did actually, I'm quite proud of it too.. i believe its the best one ive made yet" your smile grew wider. He hummed as he set the glass down with a light 'tink'. He shrugged his outer cloak off. You took note of how the slits were made to form around the massive wings.

"Not many women smith's out there, if your blade is chosen i hav'ta think its a pretty damn good one. Do you have your letter?" He inquired. You nodded. Leaning down, sifting through your things. Pulling out the neatly folded letter. You gently handed it to him. His hands were gloved with thick black leather, guarding what you assume is his hands from the climate. He opened the letter and glanced it over, his eyes lingering the seal. "Well I'll be damned. Alrighty then. Do you need a ride by chance?" You tilted your head a bit. Taking the letter back.

"A ride?" He chuckled, Nodding to you.

"You don't have a idea where the capital is do you?" You shook your head slowly. Feeling a little foolish now. "Hey, hey. I didn't mean it rudely. Your not familiar around here. I gotta swing by the capital after this stop. I could give you a ride if you would like. Save ya' a lot of trudging in the snow.".

"Oh! R-right!" You nodded. "Please id actually really like that".

"Perfect, we can leave whenever you'd like. Although I recommend we leave soon. Flying at night is a fuckin' nightmare" he stated.

Your brow furrowed. "Flying? You mean with your wings?".

"No mate, I mean with the plane". He leaned in his chair. Folding his hands on his lap. His strong blue eyes never waved away from yours. When he leaned back you noticed a long hilt attached to his hip. Your eyes flickered from his eyes to the hilt.

"What's a plane?" You asked curiosity lingering your voice. He laughed a deep chested laugh. Only making you feel a bit stupid at your question now. When he noticed you weren't joking he went surprised.

"Oh your actually serious. Erm.." he paused a bit. Trying to think. "Where exactly do you come from?" He asked. Leaning closer to you now. His brows were slightly knit together in confusion.

"Oh.. I uhm. came from a small village out in Madagascar." You watched him as you moved your hands to your lap.

"You haven't seen a plane?" He asked again. Almost just to clarify that if you were joking, this would be the time to out yourself. You shook your head. "Hunh. Well then.." he said Shrugging. "Fair enough. Here come with me." He said as he stood, brushing his hair back before placing his cap on. He patted his coat a bit. You watched. Assuming he meant for you to stand was well. "Shit.." he mumbled. You realized he was looking for money.

"Oh- here I got it" you dug in your pocket and handed a few coins over to the bartender. The blonde watched. Almost mentally taking note. The bartender gave you a weird look when you handed the money over.

"You didn't drink your glass miss" you looked down and realized. You took it and took a sip expecting water. It wasn't water. You nearly spit it out. But swallowed instead to spare the embarrassment. The blonde man laughed at your face as it contorted into disgust. It burned the whole way down your throat, filling your body with a quick glow of warmth. The stranger took the glass from you and took a wif, laughing more before easily downing it.

"Good to know vodka doesn't agree with you" he said still laughing. You watched as he set the glass down, pulling his cloak on. Well you grabbed your things you looked up and noticed he had a signa of the empire on it.

"Why does it burn so much?.." you asked, wishing you never took that sip. He mused at you well you two walked side by side together.

"Ah, don't worry so much on it. I have actual water in the plane you can have" he walked towards the metal contraption with you. At this you assumed this was a 'plane'. Gods was it big.

"How does it fly?" You asked looking it over in curiosity. He only hummed before answering.

"Its actually really simple. The propeller in the front will spin and gets air going. Once there's enough momentum it will pull the plane forward, i just steer it up and we will glide." He explained as if it was the simplest thing in the world. You didn't quite fully understand. But something told you he didn't expect you too. He climbed up and asked for your bag. Placing it in the plane where there were two seats. After your bag was situated he offered you a heavy cloak. It was lined with thick fur. "Your going to want this. It gets cold in flight. You nodded and pulled it on your shoulders. Instantly feeling the warmth and heaviness the cloak brought. You saw his hand come down reaching for yours. "Here let me help you up" his hand was firm and definitely a strong one. Pulling you up like it was nothing. Once you were on the wing of the plane he helped you steady yourself. He grabbed your waist without warning and lifted you up like a child. "Go ahead and step in- Mind your feet though, step on the seat and then sit" you fallowed his instructions. Feeling his grip slip from your waist as you sunk into the cockpit. You took note at how low you sat in the seat, there were buttons and two weird looking things beside you. They were long and bulky, you wouldn't touch them since you obviously had no idea what they did. He easily hopped into the front seat well he folded his wings carefully. Being mindful of the limited space the seats offered.

"I never caught your name" you said looking up to the back of the man.

"Oh that's right, I'm Philza. What's your name?" He asked as he turned his head towards you a bit.

"Nice to meet you Philza, I'm (y/n)" he smiled more fallowing it up with him being pleased to meet you. "If I can ask. What are these?" You inquired. Pointing to the bulky long things next to you.

"Oh those are my rifles'" he stated simply. You blinked in slight confusion. 'Rifles? The hell's a Rifle?' Your silence gave away your confusion. "Its a Gun. A type of weapon. Its faster than a bow and just as dangerous" you gave a little 'oh' in response. "The safety is on. It cant hurt you, I promise" he stated as he started up the plane. The loud buzzing starting up. "I usually fly alone, unless I'm with Tech. This should he interesting" he said with a wide smile. You felt the plane lurch before it moved. On instinct you gripped your seat. You were forced back as the plane lifted up from the ground. You couldn't help but watch as the little village grew smaller. You soon got awfully high, it was frightening to say the least. But something told you the man driving wouldn't let anything hurt you. Philza carefully maneuvered around the giant ice spikes. Flying with ease like a bird. "Go ahead and get comfortable. We'll be a slight bit" you saw him adjust in his seat, presumably getting more comfortable. You glanced the ground again before sinking into your seat yourself. Pulling the cloak around you more, enjoying the warmth it brought you. The loud buzz made you realize you were honestly quite tired. Well you were on the ship you worked from dawn until past dusk. Feeling no forceful urge to do anything currently, you let the gentle rock of the plane lull you to sleep.

"Aye, kiddo?" You herd someone call, nudging you a slight bit. You shifted, realizing you were in a seat. Memories from before your nap rushed forward as you opened your eyes, wiping the sleep from them. Phil sat with a smile as he stood on the wing of the plane. "Took a nap i see. Don't blame you, c'mon lets get you inside." Your eyes flickered around, sleep still lingering making your eyes heavy. It was now nighttime, and Phil was right the temperature does drop when the sun goes down. "Were at the palace" he said as he took your shoulders. Lifting you up like a child again. Setting you on the wing of the plane. You held onto his arm to steady yourself.

"Palace?" You mumbled. Still trying to wake up more. Phil just gave a hum and a firm nod before handing you your bag, and the blade. He stepped off the wing and helped you down. You thanked him and looked around in awe. You were in a large open room. Planes were lined up everywhere, it honestly was amazing.

"Fallow me" he stated. Smiling at you as he made his way across the floor. You fallowed, walking around the lined up planes. Soon you two found a corridor. The walls were made of whites, greys, blues and the occasional green-blue-ish tint. Pillars lined the corridors, as small candle lit chandeliers illuminated them. Shadows dancing with the flick of the flame. The floors were carpeted down the middle. White marble on the outsides. The dark oak details contrasted all the white so beautifully.

"Dadza!!" You herd a child yell. You turned with Phil to see a boy no older than 12 with brown hair running to phil. His curls bounced as he ran, his wide smile shining. The child, was more than beaming with love as he threw himself into Philza's arms.

"Hi bud" Phil had bended down to the Childs size. Hugging him close to his chest. As he smiled back at the child before he explained to you. "(Y/n), this is my son Wilbur" you gave a nod as Wilbur waved cheerfully. Hugging tightly to his father. Phil rested his hand on top of Wilbur’s head, ruffling the curls. You didn't think he was a father, but somehow now that you see him with a child- his son to be exact. How he treated you now, and back at the bar, makes sense now.

"Tech, said you wouldn't be here until tomorrow!" Wil said cheerfully, having a awful lot of energy for the time of night. Wil was honestly an adorable child. He was tall, thin, but very well dressed. Golden glasses rested on his nose, his attire consisted of a white button down, and simple black pants. his sleeves were rolled up slightly, showing he was working. happy enough to say, you could tell he was well taken care of. You herd the name 'Tech' get thrown around again. You herd Phil mention that name before you fell asleep, but it never really stuck out.

"Did he now" the boy hummed in agreement. "Did he also scold you for being out of bed?" Phil lifted a brow challengingly to Wil. His tone taking on a more strict role. In response Wil merely shrugged.

“He may have mentioned it.” Wil’s tone was casual, it also showed that he didn't take Phil’s tone too seriously. Phil in turn just rolled his eyes with a sigh.

We came to two tall wooden doors. A guard opening one at the sight of Phil, and Wilbur. You still weren't sure how, or why, you were in the palace. Nor how no one questioned your presence. You didn't feel like questioning much. Feeling like you were far out of the loop quite honestly.

Past the doors was a medium sized circular room. In the center stood a tall man. His shoulders were wide and brawn. He had a boar's skull as a mask. The tusk's adorned with jewelry. His ears were well pierced with golden chains and tiny diamonds. You caught that like Phil, the man had a single emerald earring. He definitely stood out to say the least. He had pink hair, neatly pulled into a ponytail. Braids shown through his hair, offering a contrast to the soft flowing pink. On one braid he had a black feather attached. His clothes shown a higher status. He had a white button down that was slightly undone at the top, you saw reading glasses attached on a chain that hung around his neck. A red sash sat wrapped around his waist, pulling together the white and black he wore. He had a larger sword strapped to his waist, the hilt of the sword was long and adorned with gold. His black pants were neatly tucked into his boots. He stood arms crossed. Almost like he was expecting Phil.

"Eh?.." was all he said when he saw you and phil.

"Ah Techno. I see your still awake too" the man called 'Techno' gave a nod to phil. "(Y/n), this is my other son, Technoblade" you looked from Phil, to Wil, and then to techno. There was a age gap between the boys, but you couldn't tell the exact age. Techno’s stature made you assume he was much older. since he was taller than Phil, not by much however."(Y/n) is here for the weapon call. She has her letter if you would like to see" Phil explained to techno. Instead of a response techno merely faced you. You were not able to see his eyes or much of a expression. Only his jaw was seen since the boar skull had no lower jaw. Techno's jaw however sat in a stoic, locked placement. Soon his monotone voice came through. It was low, smooth and captivating.

"You came for the weapon call?" He questioned, his voice, nor his stance wavered. the closer you got to Techno you saw how broad he was built. His shoulders looked as if he could have supported anvil’s on them. His stature and his voice made him very menacing. You gave a slight nod. Techno only faced you shortly before he faced Phil again. "I'll test the weapon tomorrow." He stated plainly. You saw Phil nod his head in agreement.

Phil faced you next "We have a spare room you can stay in" he flashed you a warm smile. Techno stood beside him, contrasting the warmth you felt from Phil. Techno however, did step back to allow you to fallow Phil. Techno never looked away from you. He was facing you well you passed. It unnerved you a little, you couldn't see his eyes, but man you could tell he was staring at you. The thought of how one man could have a happy smiling boy, and then one that stuck fear into you for simply breathing his air didn't make a lick of sense. Scary or not you would give it to Techno. He made terrifying look nice.

The palace was larger than you expected, but still beyond elegant. Wil wondered beside Phil casually. Thinking on the ‘Weapon Call’ you decided now was a good time to bring it up. well fallowing Phil down the beautiful corridors you spoke up.

“is there anyone else here?” you watched Phil’s back. Well walking the halls he had removed his cap, so you were at least able to see his expression a bit. from what you could see he was pondering his answer.

“Yeah.. Yeah, no we’ve had others here for it” the suggestion of ‘had’ made your brows knit together. Wil shot a glance back to you before glancing his father. Phil must have took this as a chance to explain. “we had a few people show, they couldn't beat the test however.” his tone was casual. the idea of a test made your stomach drop. ‘what kind of test?’, ‘what will they do to the blade?’, ‘what happens if I fail?’, questions raced your mind.

“t...test?” you worded it hesitantly, only earning a hum of agreement.

“techno is very peculiar on what he wants in a sword. it has to fit to his strength and his taste.” Phil paused briefly, “Sadly no sword so far, has been strong enough to withstand his strength.”. oh you could have died on the spot at that. that was the equivalent of ‘Oh yeah, thanks for coming thousands of miles. here's your participation ribbon’. the only response you could muster was a simple ‘Oh’. At your response Wil turned to face you, walking backwards.

“Don't feel discouraged, techno can be a mighty dick when he wants to be-” at that you stifled a laugh as he was swatted upside the head by Phil.

after the light comment from Wil, the three of you fell into silence. occasionally you saw a painting or two, one did stand out though upon passing. There was a beautiful woman, she looked kinder than any woman you’ve seen to be honest. In her arms was a baby, wrapped up and peacefully asleep. By her arms stood Phil, he had a kind, warm smile. Your eyes moved down the painting. in between the couple stood a young child, he had pink hair and a shy smile. he looked like a sweet kid, you could automatically assume who the family was just from the child and Phil.

Soon the room came to view. it was at the end of the corridor, which honestly didn't bother you. The thought of a comfortable bed had you more excited than you cared to admit. Phil opened the door for you. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. breakfast is around six to ten.” Phil and Wil watched you walk in, looking around in awe at the glorious room. “I’ll have a maid get you some warmer clothes too. If your staying for a bit I can promise you will want something heavier than what you have.” You turned back to face him a thankful smile on your lips.

“Thank you...” you were so thankful. You knew you would have to find a way to make it up to them for letting you stay. Especially without the permission of the Emperor. Phil nodded and bid a goodnight with Wil at his side. When you herd the door ‘click’ shut you couldn't help but look around again. So much had happened in under 24 hours that processing it all was hard. What started as meeting a strange man in a bar, turned into staying at the palace. talk about right time, right place. You smiled at the thought, you hoped that whatever was guiding you would continue.

You set your bag down at the foot of the bed. taking the blade off your back. it was heavy, feeling the weight lifted off was a blessing all by itself. you carefully set the blade on the ottoman at the end of your bed. you turned your head towards the window. when you approached you didn't expect to see much, but oh you should have. outside was a view worth a million words. It wasn't a village, it was a prosperous city. Massive didn't even begin to explain the size. You couldn't even fathom how many people lived here. the city could have held your small village twenty times over. you knew the Antarctica Empire was large and powerful. but you never expected this. Your smile fell slowly.

At that though you looked away from the city, facing back into your room. the four post bed was calling your name. Grabbing your clothes from your bag you changed into something you could comfortably sleep in. well changing new thoughts raced your mind. you knew the empire was known for being harsh and dangerous. yet so far all you have seen is beauty and kindness. this made you weary ‘was this all a painted face?’, ‘was this what they wanted you to see?’ ‘under this, is the whole country suffering under dictatorship?’. you thought back to Phil's face, the smiles he offered you. The Painting of the family. nothing said they were malicious. But nothing cemented that they were also kind people. you were a traveler. a foreigner, you didn't belong here. Your only here because your bringing a ‘gift’. When the gift looses its price then what? What will happen to you? What happened to those who gave blades previously?

You didn't want to think anymore. You simply wanted to sleep. Pushing the heavy covers back you crawled into the unfamiliar bed. You pulled and pushed pillows until you could find a comfortable spot. You adjusted your head a bit and slowly fell into the embrace of a deep sleep.

Morning came faster than you anticipated. There were no birds chirping or the sound of deep waves rolling. Instead it was a warm fireplace. You rolled over, rubbing your eyes before arching your back in a stretch. The bed was warm and pleasant. You rolled your head and saw a pair of blue toned clothes at the foot of the bed. Those must have been the clothes that Phil mentioned last night. you found a old grandfathers clock in the corner. The hands pointed at 8:26. Thinking over what may await today you pushed yourself up. Gently running your fingers over the material, you were genuinely surprised. it was heavy and from what you would gage, warm. a sweet smell lingered, looking about you saw there was a bathroom connected. walking closer the smell of Chai grew. there was a bath prepared for you. you glanced the time, the clothes and then the bath again. ‘I mean it wouldn't hurt’.

You cleaned yourself, the water wasn't scalding hot, but it was just enough. It was welcoming. The baths on the ship were nothing to this, the ones on the sea were often cold and nothing you wanted to linger in. Where here you could stay in the warm water all day, if you thought you could get away with it. You didn't linger though. You simply cleaned up and stepped out. letting the water out. Stepping out of the bathroom was horrible. The steam had tricked you into a false security of warmth. The room was cold, goosebumps ran your skin making you hurry to dress. The clothes were made incredibly well. Nothing from what you had back at your village. The base of the clothes consisted of a long black shirt and simple black pants. After that it was simple layering. You had a jacket similar to a cloak almost, over that a simple blue cape to drape over your shoulders. you assumed it had no signa to show you were not one of the empires people. There were gold as accents on the sleeves of the jacket, and on the cape itself. the whole fit was elegant. you saw your old shoes next to boots. slipping the boots on you wondered out. to find something to eat. your stomach turning in knots from the lack of food.

when you turned the corner you saw Phil. he smiled at you “Ah, just came to see if you were up” he was dressed similar to last night. only instead he had no fluffy cloak or hat atop is head, he only had simple blue robes. his wings were spread slightly. but he payed no mind to them. he offered you a arm. “Ready for food? hope we have somthi’n you like” you smiled kindly.

“I'm sure anything you offer I will be ok with, I still owe you for letting me stay” you said, looking out the windows of the corridor. the day was brilliant. blue skies and a bright sun. the sun came through the windows. warming you more when you passed through it’s rays.

“awh, I wouldn't think too much on it. after all you came all this way on your own” he was right, you did make this trip all by yourself. something you were proud to say you did. Phil opened a dark oak door to show a nice table. Techno sat at the head of the table, Wilbur sitting to the left of him. There were two empty prepared seats to his right you assumed this was for Phil and you.

Wilbur was already digging into his breakfast like it was his last meal. God forbid if anyone put there hand between his food and his mouth, they may have lost it. he was dressed up a bit more than you recall previously. his white button down now had a jacket overtop, with a few draping pendants. his elegant clothes contrasted his hair that was still a wild curly mess.

Unlike last night Techno was dressed even more extravagant. instead of his white button down, he was in a military's uniform. A cape adorned his sturdy shoulders draping elegantly on him. unlike yesterday he did not have his reading glasses, instead it was replaced by golden chains and pendants. his hair was similar to yesterday, only instead it was braided back, tinier braids were swept into the main braid. one of them having the feather. not a strand of hair fell out of place. beneath the pink you could see the emerald earing he wore. the same one Phil wore. the thing that stuck out the most was the golden crown that adorned his head. His hands were folded, his chin resting on them. his face was still hidden by the Boar skull. but that didn't stop you from seeing all the rings that he wore.

“mornin’ Tech, Wil” Phil said casually. he only had a response from techno, but even then it was monotone. your eyes watched the crown on Techno's head. after seeing all the signs you now realized that you were staying with the royal family. Where Phil took his seat you had stopped mid tracks. ‘could you even eat with them?’ Phil gave you a weird look. “somthin’ wrong (y/n)?”

“Can I eat with you?” they way you said that made you sound childish, but in fact it was a genuine question. At your words Phil get out a laugh.

“Of course you can, what’d you think we’d do? eat in front of you?” he was amused at you. His smile wide as Wil stopped eating to look up at you. “what makes you think your not welcome to eat with us?” he questioned, his tone shifting softer.

“Your the Royal family. I didn't think...” you trailed off as techno spoke.

“A Emperor is simply a title. If he cannot break bread with others, he has no right to claim the throne that he sits on. You and I are humans. let us break bread” he said simply.

#technoblade x reader #technoblade x you #techno x reader #TE

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cheri-translates · 3 years

Text

[CN] S2 Shaw - Ch 12 Angst Scene

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from the Season 2 main storyline, which has not been released in EN 🍒

Before proceeding, do note that I’m unable to answer any questions related to the non-Gavin chapters in S2 because I have no idea what’s going on. I decided to translate this because I got spoiled on Weibo and it hurt so bad that I needed to do this as an outlet :’)

If you decide to continue, it’s highly recommended to read Shaw’s 2020 Birthday R&S and Summer Night Date first for maximum angst!

Short summary of what happens before this:

MC sneaks into the Hunter Game and two participants make her legs go numb so she can’t move

Shaw happens to walk by and rescues her, bridal carries her to an abandoned ship, uses his Evol to restore sensation in her legs and they talk about the “Beacon”

And I have absolutely no idea what’s going on

Anyway, he gets into another fight later on

When things are finally somewhat peaceful, Shaw collapses and MC discovers that he’s been running a fever this whole time

Joker’s pal walks by and zaps him to the hospital

Shaw: [hisses in pain]

When Shaw wakes up in a daze, he feels as though his head is about to split into two.

In a blurry state, he takes a look around his surroundings, subconsciously calling the girl’s name.

Shaw: MC?

The response he expected doesn’t arrive, and it seems she isn’t by his side.

He closes his eyes, recollecting what happened before he fainted - the Hunter Game, power grid, the young man...

Shaw: !

Shaw sits up violently. After he fainted, he could vaguely hear the conversation between her and a young man.

His vision gradually becomes clear. He once again takes in his surroundings, and realises that he’s in a hospital.

Taking out his phone, he dials that familiar number. As expected, his call doesn’t get through.

Shaw balls his hand into a fist, punching the bed fiercely. Veins appear on his forehead.

He pulls out the IV and stands up hastily, only to feel the entire world spinning.

After calming down for a moment, he decides to make a trip to the antique store first.

Dizzily, Shaw returns to the vicinity of the antique store, realising that the street is crowded with people from the neighbourhood. It seems like something has happened.

The closer he heads in the direction of the antique store, the closer is the sound of the blaring fire engine. Shaw’s heart leaps, and he controls his quickening steps.

When he turns at the corner, Shaw stills, pausing in place.

A sudden, ear-splitting clap of thunder explodes in the sky.

Black tongues of fire lap the roof of the antique store, appearing both mysterious yet bizarre.

Firefighters disperse the crowd while extinguishing the fire. However, it’s clear that given the strange circumstances, they’re at a slight loss.

Evidently, this is a fire stemming from an abnormal and malicious act.

After a few rigid steps, it’s as though Shaw has gone into a frenzy, running forwards wildly.

The flames seethe and churn in his widened eyes, reminiscent of a surging black swamp, gradually climbing and overtaking his entire vision.

Firefighter: What are you doing! Stop him!

Shaw: [a heartbreaking shout] GET LOST!

Shaw shakes off the hands roughly, a crackle of white electricity causing the firefighters, who are trying to hold him back, to shift away instantly.

Countless blood vessels become evident in his eyes, and he rushes into the black purgatory without hesitation.

The dusty smoke snatches away one’s privilege to breathe. But right now, the thing suffocating Shaw even more isn’t the turbid air.

His gaze lands on the objects on the wooden racks, and he feels an astringent pain in both eyes.

Shaw: [difficulty in breathing] ...

As though in a frenzy, Shaw lunges forward, grabbing a bundle of calligraphy paintings that look aged, then rushes towards the entrance.

Flaming bricks from the roof fall around him. He doesn’t bother dodging them, and simply hugs the calligraphy paintings to himself even more tightly.

He tosses the calligraphy paintings to a firefighter at the entrance. Without a word, he immediately disappears into the black world of flames again.

Just like this, again and again, back and forth, he doesn’t stop.

Very soon, large patches of scalded skin are left on his body. But he doesn’t seem to feel pain, and simply rushes back into the sea of fire repeatedly.

Shaw knows that these spiritless, dead objects are meaningless to some people.

But to others, they are a period of living and breathing history, evidence of a miraculous existence.

He is unable to fathom why anyone would use these objects as tools for venting their anger and for taking revenge. At the same time, deep in his heart, he knows it clearly.

It’s probably because to Shaw, these dead objects represent life.

The black flames burn his fingertips, swallowing every fragment belonging to his place, and every corner.

And also, every silent memory.

He exerts his all, wanting to grab them. But what’s left in his palm is a pile of scalding ash.

When the fire is finally put out, half of the antique store has already been scorched.

Or rather, the person behind this had always intended to burn half of it as a warning.

Aside from those items which Shaw risked his life to retrieve, most of the objects in the antique store are in the mess, returning to dust.

The firefighters round up their work, and no one dares to disturb Shaw, who simply stands in front of the antique store.

The black flames look abnormal and filled with malicious intention, the thick smoke spiralling in between Shaw and the antique store.

Shaw lowers his head, and no one can see his current expression, and no one knows what he’s thinking about.

More S2 content: here

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc shaw

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hummingbird-of-light · 2 years

Text

Post Tenebras Lux

PART 93 ~ Scotty

When Leonard asked him to come over to him, he couldn’t believe it. The doctor still wanted him close after everything that had happened in the last few hours? How could he be so generous?

At first he was insecure but when he eventually made his way over to the other bed, Leonard guiding him with his advice to walk slowly, it just felt right.

When Leonard moved to the side to free some space for the Scotsman, his heart was racing. He couldn’t just lie down beside him, now could he?

“Look, we’ll have plenty of time to figure this out, but for right now…”

Scotty blinked a few times. The doctor’s message and body language were clear. So when his pulse had calmed down a bit he actually did it. He lay down beside Leonard!

The familiar scent of the man found its way into his nose and he couldn’t help but smile weakly. This smell, the touch of the man’s arm around him… it felt like home. He was safe and sound when Leonard was next to him.

He had said so himself. That he’d protect Scotty. And the Scotsman was utterly grateful for it. How could one man care for him so much?

Slowly the engineer rested his head on the doctor’s shoulder and snuggled closer to him, careful not to hurt him.

“Thanks Leonard. Thank ye so much.”

His eyes closed and a moment later, without even knowing it, he was asleep.

PART 94 ~ McCoy

McCoy woke up to a cool sensation moving through his hand and arm. He opened his eyes to see Christine pushing something into the IV port on his hand. Before he could say anything, she raised a finger to her lips telling him to be quiet. He noticed the lights were turned down and then felt the weight on his shoulder. He looked over at Scotty sleeping. The engineer looked peaceful.

Christine winked at him when he looked back. She leaned down to his ear and whispered.

“I’ll get you back in your own beds before Lt. Uhura comes back with her questions.”

>>>

McCoy glanced across the courthouse parking lot and was glad to see Jim’s car was already there. He and Scotty would be waiting inside for him. Scotty was staying with Jim. A faint smile crossed his face as he remembered back to the day Scotty had been discharged.

“You can stay with me Scotty. I’ve got room,” Jim had said.

“I couldn’t impose…”

“You wouldn’t be. You’re selling the old house…,” at that Scotty vigorously nodded. “…and it’s pointless to rent something new cause look,” Jim had leaned in and lowered his voice, but McCoy knew he was saying it so he could hear anyways. “Between you and me? We both know you’re going to be living with Bones within three months, four tops. So come stay with me, and then he can do his whole ‘southern gentleman courting ritual.’”

McCoy had looked over and scowled at Jim. Jim had just laughed and a faint smile had crossed Scotty’s face as their eyes met.

But it hadn’t gone like that. The lawyer Jim had found for Scotty had recommended that they put anything relationship-related aside until the trial had finished. So they had. Any time they had spent together had been in someone else’s company. Mostly Jim’s, but sometimes Christine’s and a few times Scotty’s friend Keenser.

McCoy had found the short older man off putting at first, with his few words, but had grown to really like the man as he realized how much Keenser also cared for Scotty.

He knew Scotty had had a hard time dealing through all of the aftermath of Khan’s betrayal and he hadn’t pushed. But today, he knew, Scotty was going to need their support as much as possible. Scotty hadn’t been face to face with his ex since the night he had shot McCoy.

As he entered the courthouse, the first thing he saw was Scotty staring at him. He felt a thrill run through him and his breath caught as it always did when he saw the Scotsman.

“Hey Bones!” Jim called, from Scotty’s side.

“Hey kid,” McCoy said as he walked up to them. “Hi Scotty,” he said softly.

“Hi Leonard.”

The thrill went through McCoy again. Scotty always said his name so gently.

“Gentlemen, this way,” said another voice next to them. McCoy looked over and saw the lawyer, Mr. Spock.

#star trek #montgomery scott #dr leonard mccoy #scones #james t kirk #spock #au #post tenebras lux

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catnippackets · 4 years

Note

have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol

I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)

the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk

to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it

BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??

dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.

my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.

I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.

I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special

so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ramblings #Anonymous #ask #this is really long but please interact I've been dying to talk about this for weeks now

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nimsajlove · 3 years

Text

As a Team (IV)

Brothers-AU Ao3

Part III , Part V

Mentioning of battle injuries

*~*

Taking a deep breath, Ahsoka peered out of another elevator, now at least they seemed to be on the right floor! "Sure we're at the right place here?", Tech asked doubtfully, reminding Ahsoka so much of her brothers that she gave him a punch to the shoulder without thinking. "Unlike your datapad, the force is working perfectly right now.", she growled and walked ahead with great strides. She held her lightsabers tightly, everything in her screamed to not lower them under any circumstances! An uncomfortable pain crept up her leg from her ankle. Damn it, maybe she should have taken it to a medic after all. Well, too late. Now they were already here and the slight tingling definitely wouldn't stop her! Busy with her thoughts, she shot around another corner and almost ran into a group of battle droids. Before she could react, the clones behind her had already knocked out four opponents, she hastily eliminated the rest of the unit. She looked at the piles of junk at her feet and growled, they were heavily armed... Without the element of surprise on her side, it could have been different. And this was just a small unit on the way to... "Kriff!", she cursed so loudly that Wrecker flinched next to her. "Faster!", Ahsoka commanded and increased her pace, Hunter caught up with her. "What is the matter?", he asked, sounding a little out of breath. Could be because he wasn't used to the pace of a Jedi. Or it was the thin air that poured ice cold into Ahsoka's lungs. Damn it, she really should have worn something different. It was freezing up here! "They were on their way in our direction!", she replied grimly and pushed all other thoughts aside. She was even impressed that her head could process so much at once! "How big is this thing?", Wrecker cursed softly behind her as they rounded another corner and Ahsoka breathed a sigh of relief, they were here before the droids. The violent pulling in her stomach area, which had driven her here, subsided a little. Instead, the flickering presence in the force gained substance, it now seemed more stable and real than a few minutes ago. "I could cut open that door...", Ahsoka mused and Tech let out a derogatory sound before pulling out his datapad. "I beg you pardon General, I'll be a lot-" Tech was interrupted again, Ahsoka was almost sorry that the clone with the sharp sense of humor somehow couldn't get around to speaking. The thought slipped away as a bunch of droids rounded the corner and one of them stepped forward, holding a holoprojector. Tambor appeared glowing blue. "Jedi, you are violating the neutrality of the Techno-Union.", he informed her and Ahsoka growled softly, she had no time for this! “I'm sorry, but I think you broke it first. Hand me over my soldier and I will be on my way.", she submitted her offer to him and waited in silence for a slander that never came. Instead, the Skakoan seemed to smile and folded his hands behind his back. “There will be no point in lying to you. Not important, you will not be able to report on your find."

The first shot was fired before the connection broke. Ahsoka threw herself between the shooters and Tech with a little dive, he was her quickest way to get to Echo and she would be damned if she lost one of the clones here! "Tech, open the door!", she yelled over the heavy fire that suddenly fell on her. Tech nodded hastily and headed for the door. Hunter followed protectively. Ahsoka intercepted a shot against Crosshair and heard more than she felt a shot graze her calf. "Hey, leave them alone!", Wrecker roared and Ahsoka watched in amazement as some droids crumbled under his hands. That was an impressive amount of power... She quickly shifted the focus back to the other clones and busied herself with protecting the men. Like a shadow, she shot from one to the other, repelling critical shots. If she was hit in the process, the only way she could tell was through the smell of burned skin. "Tech hurry!", Hunter shouted and Ahsoka took a deep breath, fending off another shot. The crowd of droids didn't seem to clear, and even Hunter had sounded worried. "Give me a moment.", Tech growled and in just that second the door slid open. "Wrecker, retreat!", Ahsoka shouted loudly over the noise and Wrecker cursed indignantly. He did not obey the order. That couldn't be true! "Wrecker. Back, now! “, Hunter growled and finally the last one joined their retreat. As soon as they were behind the door Tech locked it and when Hunter and Crosshair started to seal it, Ahsoka turned away.

(I recommend reading "Freezing Cold" here, as I won’t rewrite it here. Link leads to ao3.)

Camp

"So you want to tell me she was limping and took off anyway?", Kix growled and even Rex, who was standing in front of the improvised medbay, grimaced pityingly. He was pissed, very pissed. But the young clone in there couldn't help it, if his General was absolutely stupid again! Sighing, he pushed himself into the narrow space and interrupted the curses of the Medic and saved Thud, the poor fellow wore his striped helmet as if it were his only protection from the end of the world. "It's okay, did you at least equip it correctly?", he asked soothingly and Thud lowered his shoulders. He nodded cautiously and took off his helmet, his nose slightly crooked. The boy had refused to break it again so that it could be corrected. "Yes sir, I gave her a backpack from Kix and Burnes-" "I should have known!", Kix cursed, interrupting the other clone again and earning a hard look from Rex. “I suggest you warn the others. We'll move out soon so that Ahsoka doesn't have to worry about the enemy lines when she returns.”, he instructed Kix and the Medic disappeared further back, still mumbling softly. Thud rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "I'm really sorry Sir, maybe we really should have stopped her.", he admitted softly and Rex sighed deeply, very deeply. Damn it, he wasn't used to this stress anymore. If Ahsoka tried hard enough, he would be gray within the next mission. “We can't change that now. Go and find your unit, I'm sure Mad is already looking for you.", he tried to say calmly and quickly the younger clone was gone. Rex tilted his head back and took a deep breath, he could still hear Kix further back. Burnes was busy with his supplies nearby and just as Jesse came in, he opened his eyes again and looked at Burnes. "Neither of us saw her limping?", he asked bitterly and the Medic shook his head, his mouth drawn to his sour line. “No, just a few of the younger ones. Gut said she looked fine when she got in.", he grumbled and Jesse cursed softly behind Rex, then stepped closer to the Captain. "I know it’s a terrible timing, but Fives is going crazy. The others are a bit overwelmed.", he mumbled in a low voice and Burnes, who had apparently overheard, pressed a single hypno into the Captain's hand without a word.

Outside the quarters, Rex saw a strange picture. He had never seen so many angry 332nd soldiers in one heap. "If she doesn't come back unharmed, I swear I'll turn her neck personally.", one grumbled and Rex grinned bitterly, it was sad that he couldn't contradict. He didn't want to hit his little sister often, but now she would have deserved it. They were a damn team! Nobody asked her to do everything alone. But at least they still had a job to do. "Come on guys, get ready so that we can clear the path for her return!", he called through the crowd and it dissolved at a surprising speed. Neither of the men seemed seriously interested in killing their young General.

Rex hurried into one of the quarters. The Dominos were gathered around a trembling figure on the floor and Cutup and Hevy tried almost panicked to keep Fives on the floor. “Captain, finally!“, Droidbait cursed when he saw him and within a second Rex was with Fives and attached the hypno to his neck. Immediately Five's muscles relaxed and the ARC snorted, angry and tired. That was just too much all at once today! "I'll kill them, both of them.", he muttered and closed his eyes grumbling, Rex smirked and patted Five's shoulder. "There we are already two."

Ahsoka

"Damn it!" Ahsoka cursed, watching the droids step on the pipe. "Get back, now!", she growled, but a glance over her shoulder was enough to know that that was pointless too. "Oh god...", Wrecker mumbled and Hunter next to Echo glanced over at him. “Steady Wrecker. Just keep breathing.", he instructed and even if Ahsoka was not meant, she still felt as a wave of calm suddenly flowed through her. She had Echo back again, there wasn't much that could go wrong!

Well, she spoke too soon. As soon as she had thought through, she saw out of the corner of her eye how Wrecker slipped, lost his footing and in his panic reached for Crosshair. It was more luck than anything that the two got caught on something Ahsoka couldn't see. The droids opened fire, and they got closer damn fast. “That's not what I had planned.", she cursed and Echo next to her actually had the nerve to laugh. "Me neither, but this is so much better than anything before." Ahsoka's heart swelled and she grinned as she deflected another shot. "Any ideas?", Hunter asked and Tech made an enthusiastic sound, Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "If you want to give lectures again Tech, then I swear I will push you down here by hand!", she threatened and saw out of the corner of her eye how Tech looked at her in amusement and then hastily started looking for something. “I'll get us a ride. I recorded the call of these winged reptiles earlier.", he explained and immediately there was such a loud and deep sound that Ahsoka's montrals resonated almost painfully. It must be worse for human ears, Hunter held the sides of his helmet, cursing. Beside her, Echo grimaced, but kept his blaster aimed at the droids.

"Tech, what are you doing?", Wrecker called from among them, accompanied by Crosshair's curses. Before Tech could answer, Ahsoka saw theire rescue emerge from the clouds. "Over there! Jump off!”, she shouted. "Are you kidding?", Wrecker called and she heard Crosshair cursing even louder, he seemed to want to free himself and suddenly he and Wrecker fell down on the back of a reptile. "Hurry!", Ahsoka urged the men and hastily fended off another droid, they had now reached them and the severed components fell down into the clouds. Hunter and Tech were next, Echo hesitated. "Jump, now!", she hissed at him and her brother gave her a sharp look. "You first.", he replied and Ahsoka bit back another comment and gave him a push in the back, with a small gasp he fell and landed safely on a reptile, it stayed under her and seemed to wait. "Ahsoka?", Echo called and she hastily put her lightsabers away to follow him when an ice-cold hand closed around two of her fingers. Damn it, she forgot to keep an eye on the droids on the other side! No time! With narrowed eyes she threw herself down, the droid next to her seemed anchored on the pipe and with a jerk she was free. Hot, incandescent pain shot up her entire arm and with a loud gasp she landed behind Echo. The animal immediately started to turn away, the others were already gone. "Ahsoka?", Echo asked and Ahsoka tried to answer, but all her mouth could do was a pained whimper. She had sagged strangely against Echo, who could barely hold her weight. Still, she felt how he tried to turn around to look at her. "Hey? Are you okay? Vod'ika?" At the word, tears came involuntarily to her eyes, the pain did not decrease. But neither did it got more intense. Her head throbbed. "Fuck.", Echo suddenly cursed softly in front of her and she felt how he, completely relying on the reptile below them, turned to her and grabbed her hand with his hand. Or what had to be left of it.

When her brother touched the blazing fire, pain shot up her arm again, she drew in a hissing breath and wanted to pull her hand away, but to her surprise Echo's grip was firm. With all his might he squeezed her hand and Ahsoka blinked, everything swam a little back and forth in front of her eyes but it was bearable. She decided just not to look at her hand. Instead, she did something else that was just as important. "I love you vod.", she sniffed and leaned her forehead heavily against his. He smiled humorlessly. "I love you too vod‘ika. Don‘t do this again."

When they landed, Ahsoka believed she was master of all her senses again. Still, she was happy when Wrecker came to them without asking and helped her and Echo down. The others gathered around her and Hunter carefully pulled the backpack off her back before he began to search without asking. As he pulled out a hypno, Echo interrupted him and, without letting go of Ahsoka's hand, glanced into the backpack. “Not that. Take one of those.", he instructed and nodded at the bundle at the bottom of the backpack. Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "First take care of Echo and yourselves, I can see that Wrecker has been hit.", she mumbled and Crosshair next to her suddenly snorted. Tech clicked his tongue and Hunter shook his head. "It's not bleeding anymore.", he soothed her and emptied one of the hypnos in her arm. Ahsoka recognized the label with narrowed eyes. Painkillers and something against a shock. Okay... she wouldn't complain. Then Hunter pulled out one of the bandages and Echo released her hand, immediately she started bleeding again. She felt the blood leave her body! She didn't look when Hunter wrapped her hand, instead looking at Echo's. It was smeared with blood and it didn't seem to be his. That was good. The painkillers worked quickly, her vision was clearing again and she could feel her pulse calming down. "We have company.", Crosshair growled and fired a shot upwards without hesitation. Aaaaand her pulse was up again, great! "Wrecker, lend me a hand yeah?“, she grumbled and got up, ignoring the protests of Echo and Hunter. She scanned the sky, a handful of droids approaching. She counted twenty-no nineteen. "Sure.", Wrecker grinned and held out a hand at about knee height. When the droids were finally close enough, Ashoka put one foot on his palm and instantly she was high in the air, with deadly precision she severed a battle droid right in the middle and as she began to fall again two more smoking droids followed her.

She landed on her feet, hard and unyielding as the ground was she almost lost her balance, bent over and again pain shot up her already battered ankle. Cheers for pain killers, the feeling was quickly replaced by a general numbness in her leg. Echo was with her immediately, when had he gained so much strength in the last hour to be able to move so quickly? Cursing, he grabbed her arm and helped her balance the last of her weight, then she turned around searching. Two remaining droids made their way back smoking. Damn it! "They'll be back.", Ahsoka muttered softly and Hunter nodded grimly. Well, there was nothing they could do about that now. They had to prepare themselves and the villagers. The latter had kept their distance from her and the clones, whether out of respect or fear Ahsoka did not care. Puffing, she shook off Echo's hand again, he had protected her for a long time. Now it was her turn! "Hunter, get Echo a better blaster.", she instructed sharply and Hunter motioned Echo to follow him, her brother stared at her for a few seconds before he followed. It was okay, he could take out his anger on her as soon as they got home. By now she was pretty sure that at least he would get out of here alive. Anything else was not an option! And with clone force 99 with them, their chances of winning weren't that bad. Now only the natives were missing... When she turned around, Tech was waiting for her, his eyes giving her a small smile. "I'm ready.", he announced and Ahsoka stepped in front of the natives. The leader of the settlement stepped forward and although they were so different, Ahsoka caught his anger and restlessness in the force. "We brought the war to him.", Tech explained completely emotionless, she returned his tired look. This was nothing new, wherever they all went, war and death followed. She hadn't known anything else since she first left the temple as a Padawan. "He had a family, right?", she asked and Tech nodded. All right, let’s do this. She had to make someone feel guilty and she wasn't going to fail.

*~*

Ha! She should have become a politician! Wrecker still seemed to be puzzling how Ahsoka had managed to get the natives to their side so quickly and quietly. Tech on the other hand looked completely satisfied and Crosshair had actually taken off his helmet and smirked slightly. “Okay, now we have a real chance. Tech, I need every attack strategy you've ever used.“, Ahsoka grinned and the clone quickly handed her his datapad, the list was long. Some names caught her eye and she examined the notes more closely. She also scrutinized strategies that were simply numbered consecutively. She had skimmed about a third quickly when Echo and Hunter returned. "I gave him what we had lying around.", Hunter said and Ahsoka looked up.

Her brother was wearing a top from the blacks that must have been Hunters, it fitted quite well. If Echo weren't so emaciated, he'd fill it out on his arms and upper body too. Above it was a repaired breastplate that appeared to be Hunters too. She looked gratefully at him, he smiled. Still with her body turned towards Echo, she pressed the datapad into his hand. "I'm a fan of the stone maneuver.", she muttered and walked over to her brother. "Black suits you.", she grinned and Echo raised an eyebrow skeptically before he had to grin. "Oh, I can't wait to get my blue equipment back!" Oh man... Ahsoka shook her head with a light laugh and patted his shoulder with her bandaged hand. She avoided thinking about why her blood was showing bright red through the fabric again. "You know what? You can have anything you want when we're home.", she smiled and took one playful thrust against her shoulder, the one without scorch marks. "Commander Cody's candy stash?" "Just for you brother!", she laughed. Together they turned to the preparations, Ahsoka growled in frustration and tried to flex her bandaged hand. Pointless, she would not be able to hold her shoto like that. Okay, back to the basics.

*~*

That damn ankle! Ahsoka dodged a shot, hissing and cursing. She felt something warm and sticky on her face. It was definitely blood. Her‘s? She didn‘t know, at the moment she couldn't even clearly identify where up and down was. But she saw the giant walkers, tri-droids. With her useless ankle she would never get up there! She quickly glanced up at the ledge where Echo and Crosshair were sniping. Ahsoka had also told Crosshair to protect her brother, by all means. His answer had been a serious nod. Echo was as secure as he could be. „Need some help?“, Wrecker asked diagonally behind her and watched as Ahsoka eyed the nearest walker again. "You just want a reason to throw me again.", she grinned and ran a few steps ahead before she stopped and put her good foot on Wrecker's hand. The air rushed past her, this was much more exciting than jumping! She elegantly caught her fall back with one hand and dangled from the droid's barrel for a second before pulling herself up.

*~*

They were still alive! They were alive! Sighing, Ahsoka let go of Hunter's hand and sat down on one of the seats on the left and right of the ship. "See, much better than the ground.", Hunter smiled and Ahsoka tried half-heartedly to kick him. Did not work. Instead, Echo was by her side again, sliding closer so that their shoulders touched. "Okay, General. Fill me in.", he muttered quietly and when Hunter looked at her curiously, she let out a deep breath, it wasn't really a sigh. "What? I would be interested in where we can get more Jedi like you.", he smiled and Ahoska shrugged her shoulders. Bad idea, her rigid neck muscles protested violently. "Where should I start? There is so much... Umbara, the trial, Five's discovery-" "Slow down. Start at the beginning, okay? The next important event, very simple.", Echo slowed her down and Ahsoka nodded heavily, of all topics this was probably the most difficult. "Okay, you missed Umbara.", she muttered and Hunter rubbed his hands together thoughtfully, he took a seat across from her. The planet seemed to mean something to him too. "The executed Jedi?", he asked and Echo sucked in an irritated breath next to her. She ignored him and shook her head. “No, the fallen Jedi. I still believe that the 501st would have been wiped out there without Hardcase.", she corrected tiredly, it wasn't the first time she was explaining this. Some of the younger clones under her command had understood no more than Hunter. "So he didn't...?", Echo mumbled half aloud next to her and Ahsoka shook her head, her headache increasing a little at the thought of her fallen brother. Echo's entire arm crept up behind her back and gave her a gentle squeeze. His hand trembled and she carefully took it in hers. "I should have been there.", he mumbled tonelessly and Ahsoka laughed barking, it was a joyless laugh. She gently leaned her head against his. "We both should have."

They were silent for a while, then Hunter stirred. More reserved than before, he put his helmet on the ground between his feet. "And after that?" Ahsoka tried to find the thread of the events again and just decided to jump on. "After that I was kicked out of the Order.", she grumbled and Echo shot up next to her. “Why?!", he asked shoked and Ahsoka smiled, Rex would love him if he would appear before the council with that expression on his face and ask them for a reason. "A misunderstanding, they thought I blew up the temple.", she said and Echo's eyes got bigger, his arm wrapped around her a little tighter. "You wouldn‘t!", he exclaimed and Hunter uttered a low, approving sound. Wrecker grumbled and joined them. "That sounds stupid.", he growled and Ahsoka shrugged. “Doesn't matter, I got back in. However, I made an immediate end of my training as a condition. And the rank of General. And clones that I can choose.", she listed and Echo shook his head with a grin, Wrecker laughed enthusiastically. "Good! They should bleed for that.", he grinned and Crosshair emerged from the edge of her field of vision, he nodded in agreement. The general approval also brightened Ahsoka's mood, although she felt very tired. It was a bit like she had cotton wool in her head. And she didn't have one drop of alcohol since her promotion. “And then I stole Torrent from Anakin. And Fives found out about the inhibitor chips. Those things took Tup.", she growled and sighed. "You would have liked him.", she muttered to Echo and only now saw how everyone was staring at her. "What chips?!"

"Ah Kriff, you don’t know yet.", Ahsoka cursed and put her head heavily in her hands, limply supporting her elbows on her knees. Under her uninjured hand she felt half-dried blood and for a moment she wondered if the crust on her face was more dirt or blood. She wouldn't ask. "Ahsoka, what chips?", Echo asked urgently next to her and tugged at her tunic with his hand. Damn it, he was stiff as a board next to her! “The Kaminoans implanted chips in the clones. Each of them.", she muttered into her hands and she heard Tech coming from the front. His steps were quieter than the others. "That's only logical, how else would you guarantee obedience?", he popped in and Echo snorted next to her when Ahsoka looked up to see all staring at Tech as if he had just lost his mind. But he was really close! "Something like that. I don't know all the functions, but it made Tup shoot a Jedi.", she managed and her throat tightened uncomfortably, when she thought about it, it wasn't long ago. It seemed like a long time ago. There was silence, even Tech seemed surprised. When after another minute no one said anything, Ahsoka cleared his throat softly and tried to pick up the story again. “Well, Fives figured it out somehow. I don't really know how many laws he broke.” Echo next to her came back to life and gently rubbed her back, his mouth pressed together in a thin line. "That sounds like my brother," he muttered and she nodded weakly. She would like to never tell Echo the rest, leave him clueless. But she knew the others, he would find out within a few hours. And then she could be sure of his anger, so she'd better get it over with now. "They almost shot him because o fit.", she threw into the room and briefly Echo’s short fingernails were in her clothes, digging into her skin. Then he relaxed his grip and the calming circles returned. "Yes, sounds like him...", he mumbled, sounding so choked that Ahsoka instinctively moved closer and decided to hide her face on his arm. Worked just fine, Echo smelled of sweat and smoke. Like all her brothers. Again everyone was silent until one of the others moved minimally. Towards her. She suspected Hunter. "Blanket?", he asked softly and Ahsoka was tired, a blanket sounded wonderful! "No. Do not sleep vod’ika! Stay awake until Kix can put you in a bed.", Echo instructed next to her montral and she knew he was right, but that didn't suppress the growl when she forced herself to sit up. "What did you do with the chips?", Tech asked from the side, his voice full of suppressed curiosity. Very badly suppressed curiosity. Okay, talking would help! Would keep her awake. “A few of the 501st had theirs removed. The 332nd is free. Cody doesn't have one either.", she mumbled and looked around once, Echo's face was thoughtful, Hunter seemed worried. A look at Wrecker showed her that he could not yet grasp the full extent. Crosshair watched her with a cool, calculating look. 24 hours ago that would have given her goose bumps, now she knew that he was just watching her carefully. Was he afraid she would pass out? Fall from the chair? "The others definitely didn't believe Fives.", Echo mumbled and Ahsoka nodded slightly, her head feeling heavy again but when she sagged towards Echo's shoulder he caught her and forced her back into an upright position. "Okay, what's the likelihood that these chips will actually be used?", Tech asked doubtfully from the edge and Ahsoka jumped and got to her feet all by herself. "How high is the probability? My little brother is dead because of a 'malfunction'! I don't even want to think about what would have happened if more chips had activated. The probability doesn't matter, somebody could use all clones as a weapon.", she growled and talked herself a little in a rage, she couldn't breathe and two hands pushed her back into place, Wrecker patted her shoulder and she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Okay, then we have to convince the other Jedi.", Hunter mumbled, Ahsoka's eyes tingling suspiciously. So long she had fought for approval and approval and these men were ready to believe her. After just a single mission. Echo's hand closed on her wrist and squeezed gently as she looked at him, he grinned broadly. Oh, this was what Fives always looked like when he came up with a very stupid idea. “I know something. Tech, can you fake separatist protocols?"

#star wars #clone wars #the bad batch #ahsoka tano #clone trooper echo #clone trooper hunter #clone trooper tech #clone trooper crosshair #clone trooper wrecker #injuries #blood #saving echo #brothers au

3 notes · View notes

matsumi101 · 4 years

Note

For the promts, maybe 367 with Maria Reynolds, modern au?

367. “I didn’t think love existed until I started loving you”

Notes:

> Reader x Maria Reynolds Modern AU

> Anon i love u for this do u know how giddy i am when i wrote the last part hnngh

> Fem!Reader I hope u guys don’t mind some (not so) wholesome lesbeans

> WIFI ANG GOOGLE DOCS HAS BEEN AN ASS IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX THE ONESHOT BC IT KEPT GETTING PASTED OUT OF ORDER HNNGH

Type: fluff

Warnings: domestic abuse mention, implied sex

-------------------

“Your Honor, the members of the jury find the defendant... guilty.”

You gave a low whistle while the Judge gave the final words, putting up a hand to return your co-counsel’s high-five without even having to look at him. Your smug grin never left your face even after the court was adjourned, only breaking into a more hyper celebration once you were out of the building.

“Fuck yeah, we deserve to celebrate!”

You laughed in agreement. “I couldn’t have pulled this off without you, Alex,” you sighed. Alexander simpered, taking the compliment very well. “Well, what can I say? I’m always up for the challenging ones.” He shrugged his shoulders, pride oozing out of his presence. You couldn’t blame him, though. You were an excellent public attorney par with even Alexander Hamilton himself, but this case had you on your toes for months, even with Alexander’s help, and the outcome was well worth the sleepless nights you shared with your friend.

The topic returned to the celebration. “We should invite everyone to me and Eliza’s place and throw a party because damn we deserve it,” Alexander suggested. You hummed thoughtfully at his offer for a bit before responding. “I’d love that, but can we move that a little later? I wanna celebrate alone with Maria, first,” you pointed out. Alexander pulled an all too knowing smirk, to which you rolled your eyes at.

“I haven’t given her much attention ever since this case came, and I’m sure Eliza’s in the same situation. Our own partners deserve to be pampered after all of this, don’t you think?”

“My Eliza’s fine-”

“Hamilton.”

You crossed your arms and raised a brow at your friend. “Let Eliza share the victory with you, I’m sure she’d be thrilled to listen about how your hard work paid off,” you reasoned out. “And besides, it’s the closest I’ll get to apologizing for stealing you away from her for months.” Alexander laughed at that, getting your point. He pulled out his phone, most likely to share the great news to his fiancé.

“Let’s have the big celebration next weekend, yeah?”

You could tell from the eagerness in his voice that he was excited to come home and spend time with Eliza. “Perfect,” you agreed. You were about to bid farewell, but Alexander was already in call with Eliza and chatting away with unprecedented joy. You chuckled at him and went to your car, dialing a number while you started the engine. It rang a few times before it was picked up.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Washington! Is Maria Reynolds still at work?”

“Oh, Miss Y/N! It’s always a pleasure to talk to you.”

You smiled at this. Martha had always been a caring boss, which is why you recommended Maria to her business when she was looking for a new job. You placed your phone on the holder at the dashboard and set it to speaker while you pulled out of the parking lot. “Maria’s still here, why’d you ask?” Martha asked sweetly. Your smile grew into a more excited one, your plans already playing out in your mind.

“Well you see, I plan to surprise her tonight with her favorite food because I won what probably is my biggest case to date.” Martha gasped and gave you a quick congratulations. “But I still have to buy the things I need. Can you stall her for me? I just need an extra two hours.”

There was a thoughtful pause at the other end of the line. You took your eyes off the road for a split second to check if the call was still ongoing, which it was. “Dear, as romantic as your plan sounds, I don’t think Maria would like being cooped up here for so long,” Martha sighed. “She’s been stressed for the past months, and I don’t think she’s taking your disappearance so well lately, to top off the work she needs to finish today...” Your heart sank at the information. Yes, you were more than aware that you’d been neglecting Maria over the case, more than you’d like, and even if she was understanding enough that you needed to prioritize your slowly rising career, you knew there were unavoidable insecurities that followed her wake.

“I’m going to make it up to her,” you replied, voice steady. “I’m going to smother her with attention for the weeks to come ‘til she gets sick of me.”

Martha laughed heartily at your determination. “So please, can you help me out and give me two hours? I promise It’ll all be worth it,” you pleaded. It didn’t take as long for Martha to answer. “Okay, but I want to see Maria coming to work next Tuesday with an honest smile. I miss seeing her so positive.” You beamed gratefully, even though she couldn’t see it. “You’re giving her a long weekend off?” you asked almost too happily.

“Aside from letting her spend time with her favorite woman, I’m sure she deserves the rest for working so hard the past months.”

“Oh Martha, thank you so much! I owe you a lot.”

Any semblance of formalities melted away. “Oh dear, you know I’m a sucker for romantic gestures! I’ll make sure she tells me everything about your night when she gets back to work,” she teased. You giggled, excitement crawling up your body by the minute. You ended the call and finished your groceries as fast as you could, and by the time you got back to your shared apartment the sun was just starting to set. Perfect, you thought. You had more time than anticipated, but you were sure to utilize every second and got to work.

After a dragging day at work, Maria finally found her way back home. She was stuck in the office for a good two hours past her supposed time out due to Martha’s unexpected request to finish some extra paperwork. She would’ve declined it, but the offer of getting a paid day off in return was too good to miss out that even an extra hour long traffic didn’t stop her. She was far too exhausted, both mental and physical, to think of anything else but to crash into the soft sheets of her bed despite her empty stomach begging to be filled up. When she got to her apartment’s door, however, she couldn’t help but stop and look at it.

She didn’t know that today was the day you’d bring the case to the court one last time for a verdict, so all she expected was to come home to an empty apartment, and despite everything still in the same place it felt more barren the past few months. And yet, as she unlocked the door and flicked the lights on, she was greeted with not only a noticeably cleaner living room but also a delectable smell wafting through her nose. It caused her stomach to growl again, and with the new smell filling the place she dropped her bag and headed to the kitchen.

“You’re home!”

Maria’s eyes popped out at the sight. There you were in your sweatpants and loose shirt, sitting across the table with your hand resting atop your intertwined fingers. A large grin splayed across your face, which grew even wider at the sight of her. The table was set up with two plates, a bottle of wine and whiskey (a strange combo, Maria thought), about three dishes, and a bowl of soup accompanied by a smaller bowl of croutons. The food before her was definitely made presentable, and if Maria wasn’t too occupied gawking (and maybe drooling a little) she would’ve pointed out how your outfit didn’t even match up to the setting.

“We won the case,” you told her, your voice laced with softness and excitement.

Maria had to compose herself just enough to answer. “Really?” she squeaked out. She was happy beyond words, both for your success and you finally being there to greet her home for once and having done this seemingly large dinner after months of surviving on leftovers in the fridge and take-outs. You nodded, watching her expression with a smile, but it quickly dropped when you saw her starting to cry. Alarmed, you got off your seat and pulled her to a tight embrace, to which she eagerly returned, taking in the faint scent of the soap you used for your bath. You planted a long kiss on the crown of her head, and the gesture only seemed to make her cry more.

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

And there she poured everything out. She missed coming home to your arms every night, but ever since the case you were always either gone in the office at work or holed up in the one at home. The thought made her disappointed, and maybe with a twinge of anger and paranoia, but she had to hold it back. She knew how much work meant to you, and she admired how passionate you were for it. She tried her best not to think too much of it, but the fear of you growing cold towards her scared her to no end, admitting that the effects of her past relationship with James was still affecting her.

You didn’t speak the whole time and let Maria vent it out until she reduced into quiet sobs. You kissed her forehead before pulling away from the hug so you could meet her eye to eye. “I know I’ve been so busy, which is why I’m going to make up for it,” you whispered soothingly. You cupped her face and gently wiped the tears away with your thumbs, and you could see a smile slowly grace her lips that made your heart melt. You then peppered her with short, sweet kisses all over her face, which made her giggle and squirm.

“I missed you so much, Y/N.”

“I missed you too, but I’m not going to let you have dinner with such an uncomfortable outfit.”

Maria followed your eyes to her office attire. “I drew you a hot bath just a few minutes ago, with lots of lavender from our mini garden,” you told her softly, pulling her by the waist and kissing her cheek. Gosh, you missed her so much. Maria sighed as you nuzzled your face on the crook of her neck, already imagining the beautiful smell of the bathroom awaiting her. Unfortunately, she had to pull away from the hug so she could actually get there.

After Maria took her time in a relaxing bath and changed to her own comfortable clothes, you two spent the night together, savoring the full course dinner you made with both of your favorite foods and hers, then surprising her with strawberry mousse, her favorite, for dessert. After that, and an empty bottle of wine, you two went to the couch to cuddle and watch a movie together. Though the film on the television was soon forgotten when you kept on showering Maria with kisses and compliments. Even if she asked you to stop since she genuinely wanted to watch the movie, you only replied to her with,

“Nah, I’m going to spoil you the whole weekend, and for the following weeks to come.”

And you did just that. Your attention was all on Maria day and night, and her heart could never feel so full at the sight of you. You took care of her and she took care of you, too. Of course you respected her boundaries and remained gentle with how you held her, but she knew that with you she was safe. Her initial fears of abandonment were soon thrown out the window. Maria trusted you more than ever, and you made sure to show her that she would never regret that choice.

Maria sighed wistfully, stroking your hair as she stared at the wall. The heavy drapes were drawn shut, preventing the moonlight from entering the dark bedroom. You were nestled on her bare chest, sleeping soundly while you had your arms wrapped protectively around her waist. A smile adorned your lips, and Maria took notice of it when she looked down at you.

You were at peace, contrast to the tired and frustrated expression you constantly seemed to wear while you were working the past months. Your breaths were slow and relaxed, making Maria hold a smile of her own as she studied your features. She brought a hand to your face, and you subconsciously leaned against her touch. She caressed your cheek with a thumb, her gaze trailing over to the bags under your eyes. Without your makeup, it looked much worse, but Maria didn’t care. She loved everything about you, even those eyebags that carried all the success you worked for, and she never felt luckier for having such a caring and passionate girlfriend as you.

“Oh Y/N,” Maria sighed for the nth time that night. “I didn’t think love existed until I started loving you.”

You barely stifled your amused chuckle, making Maria jump slightly at the vibration. “I’m glad to be the one to make you realize that,” you murmured, opening your eyes and ignoring the noise of surprise that she made when you let it be known that you were still awake. You shifted so that you could fully look at Maria. It was dark, but you could still make out her wide eyes that slowly softened. Her hand was still pressed to your face, so you put your own on top of it and moved to gently kiss her palm.

“And you deserve every bit of love, sweetheart.”

The way you said it so sincerely just made Maria absolutely melt, even more so when you pulled up to give her a long, tender kiss. Her hands wandered you, fingers trailing the marks she left on your skin before a hand made its way to your bare back while the other tangled on your already messy hair. When you backed away to breathe, you gave Maria one last peck on the lips before lying on her side and pulling her close.

“You know babe, seeing you like this makes me want to look forward to more of your difficult cases.” Maria laughed when you tiredly groaned in annoyance.

“No. If the next one is anything like the last I’m shoving it to either Alexander or Jefferson. I missed you too much.”

#hamilton #hamilton musical #reader insert #hamilton reader insert #maria reynolds #maria reynolds x reader #hamilton x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fanfiction #my wifi has been an ass istg it's making the parts all messed up

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myarmsaretoolong · 3 years

Text

@whumptober2020 Prompt #30: “Now Where Did That Come From” - Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

Word Count: 1019

Warnings: Blood (Minor) | Hospital Scenes

Synopsis: Tony thinks they just might have finished their mission unharmed, Peter has another idea

Read Under the Cut | Read on AO3

“Did you see that, Mister Stark?” Peter and Tony flew - and swung - through the streets of New York after yet another successful mission. Tony found himself unable to hide a smile at the excitement Peter still found in catching a bad guy. “He walked straight into my web-grenade and then, boom!” Mid swing, Peter turned to face Tony and mined an explosion. “Didn’t even see it coming.”

Tony grinned, thankful it was hidden behind the suit. “You did a great job, kid. Training’s really paying off.”

“And then when I taser-webbed his accomplice when he was down! Did you see that part?”

“Yup. Surprisingly I saw it all. Say, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” Tony turned a corner, Peter following not far behind.

“Yeah?”

Tony took a deep breath, part of him couldn’t believe he was about to ask a kid this. But then again, Peter wasn’t most kids, and he was more than ready. “How about we step up the training a little? Bring in some of the others on the team, new styles of combat, that kind of thing. ‘Cause since the best part of the team decided a life on the run was better than a little bureaucracy, we’ve been a little lacking on manpower.” He waited a moment for the kid to reply, but he remained suspiciously silent. Probably just in shock.

“Not saying that you’re a shoo-in to become an Avenger, there are a lot of barriers before that. Your slightly scary Aunt, for one. But it’s something we can figure out.” Tony paused again. Still, Peter didn’t reply. You could say that Tony’s dad-sense started tingling. “If that’s something you want, of course. Kid? You wanna say something? I thought you’d be excited.”

Tony turned mid-air to look back at Peter, only to find he wasn’t there. His brow furrowed in worry. “Pete? Friday, where is he?”

“Over here, Boss.” Friday indicated a small figure sprawled out on a rooftop a couple of blocks back. Tony’s heart fell out of his chest as he raced back to Peter’s side.

He lay on his front, one arm flopped over his head and the other awkwardly tucked under his body. Clearly, he’d collapsed, thankfully he had the good sense to find a rooftop, first, rather than fall to the pavement below.

“Kid, come on.” Tony rolled Peter into the recovery position, bile rose in his throat when the suit’s gauntlets came away bloody. “Fri, run a full scan.”

“Already done, Boss. It appears Mister Parker has a penetrating wound to his abdomen. I recommend getting him immediate medical attention.”

“Right.” Tony scooped Peter into his arms and took off in the direction of the Avengers Facility. “Alert Doctor Cho, we’re coming in hot.”

“On it.”

Tony looked down at the limp, fragile body of a person he’d come to love cradled in his arms. “Hold on, Pete. Hold on.”

* * *

Tony and May stood from their chairs outside the medical bay as Doctor Cho stepped out. They’d only been waiting for about an hour, but it felt like years.

May stepped forward, “Please tell me he’s okay?”

Doctor Cho offered a polite smile. “He will be.” May’s shoulders sagged the moment the words left her mouth, for a moment, Tony thought her legs were going to give way too. “The stab wound narrowly missed his descending aorta but punctured both his liver and stomach. We had to perform surgery to fix the damage, and thankfully managed to avoid septic shock. All in all, I’d say he’s very lucky.”

Lucky was certainly not one of the words Tony was thinking, but he couldn’t find the space to care as relief filled every inch on his body.

“He’s still under from the surgery,” Doctor Cho continued. “Though it should wear off very soon. He’s also going to need a few days of bed rest to recover fully, even with his metabolism.”

May chuckled, “That’s not going to go over well. Peter had the flu once as a child and still got dressed for school despite hardly being able to walk without throwing up.”

“That sounds like the kid,” Tony muttered. Suddenly, he was starting to rethink his previous offer of Peter joining the team, at least until Peter learned when to tap out. He turned to Doctor Cho. “Can we go in?”

“Yes, of course. He should have someone there when he wakes up.” Doctor Cho stepped aside and allowed Tony and May to pass.

The room was empty aside from Peter laying in a hospital bed, somehow he looked even smaller when surrounded by monitors and medical equipment. He lay flat on his back with a blanket pulled up to his chest, arms lying at his side with an IV in the back of his hand. Tony tried to tune out everything else and just focus on the gentle rise and fall of Peter’s chest. Focus on the fact he was alive.

May walked to his side and half-sat half-fell into an armchair that Cho must have set up. She slipped a hand into Peter’s and brushed his hair back from his face. “Oh, Peter,” she whispered. “How’d you get yourself in this mess, huh?” She didn’t say it harshly, and of course Tony had given her the full story when she arrived at the compound. Tony had a feeling she was talking more about Spider-Man than this particular incident.

Tony watched May with Peter feeling like an intruder, he half considered slipped silently out of the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes from the kid. May looked over, her eyebrows knitted together.

“What are you doing, come over here and sit down.” She gestured for him to join her. He fell into the chair on the opposite side, his fingers subconsciously twisting themselves through Peter’s hair. May smiled, eyes shiny with tears. “He’s going to need his family here when he wakes up.”

Tony had to bite his lip to hold his own tears at bay. His eyes fell on Peter’s, wishing them open. “Yes. Yes, he will.”

#whumptober2020 #no.30 #now where did that come from #wound reveal #ignoring an injury #internal organ injury #mcu #irondad #fic #blood tw #hospital scenes tw

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richmond-rex · 4 years

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Thoughts on the author Thomas Penn? Thinking of buying his book, but I’d rather the opinion of our local HVII expert first 😂

Hello! I'm not a Henry VII expert(I wish!) but I’ll try to help you with that. I’ve got very mixed feelings, but my biggest objection to his Winter King is that it’s sensationalistic: it seems that in order to make Henry VII interesting to the wider public, he primarily focused on Henry’s last years of his reign and extrapolates his opinions for the rest of it, when, if you think about it, every author agrees that Henry was a changed man in his last six years of life—not only did he lose his heir and wife (besides other two children) during that period, most of Henry’s most trusted friends who had been with him in exile had begun to die by 1500 or earlier: his uncle Jasper, Reginald Bray, Bishop John Morton, Giles Daubeney, to name a few. He had also begun to suffer with bouts of tuberculosis at least since 1499. Henry reigned for 24 years; it feels quite misleading not to take the other 18 years into account.

Don’t get me wrong, Thomas Penn is a serious scholar and not at all to be confounded with the likes of Alison Weir. Penn succeeded in making more people interested in Henry VII, you can see as much by his deal with the BBC to make a documentary. I personally think his documentary is a bit cringy, it throws words around like ‘darkness’, ‘intrigue’, ‘spies’ (as if it’s something Henry should not have used?). And if you go on youtube you can see how much he has influenced other people’s opinions on Henry VII. The thing is, he focused so much on Henry VII’s ‘darkness’, famous Henry VII haters like Philippa Gregory praised his work. She called Penn’s biography “a definitive account that will alter the view not just of Henry VII, but of the country he dominated and corrupted.” It’s no wonder Thomas Penn called Richard III ‘the true king’ when he was a usurper as much as Henry VII, Edward IV, Henry IV and many more in English history.

Needless to say, Henry VII did not corrupt the country (any more than it was already corrupted at least). Henry did lose his grip on Empson and Dudley and others who were corrupted ministers—they even managed to extort money from Margaret Beaufort, the king’s mother!—so you can see how escalated the situation got. But if we analyse his reign up to that point, before his failing eyesight and tuberculosis were affecting his health and he became engulfed in depression (“the king is depressed”, one contemporary account says) we see that he had a reasonably good hand for choosing councillors and administrators, never favouring one so much as to make them rise above the others. He even fined his own friend and chamberlain, Giles Daubeney, for embezzling the wages of the soldiers of Calais.

In summary, I don’t think Thomas Penn’s biography is bad per se, but it has considerably bad takes and aside from making Henry VII more popular, he didn’t bring anything new to the table. If you’re considering reading a biography of King Henry VII, I recommend reading Chrimes’ Henry VII (The English Monarch Series). I’ll leave you with some of Breverton’s commentary on Penn’s work:

#ask #hope i helped!#bran-loaf #henry vii #historian: thomas penn

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itsreallylaterightnow · 4 years

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Let’s Just Order Take Out From Now On for @blondsak

Aunt May’s always been a pretty bad cook, but never before had she poisoned her nephew

It was just going to be a simple weekend together. It was a long weekend for Peter with school, so he, May, and Happy decided to take a trip up to the compound. They had driven up on Friday as soon as Peter got out of decathlon practice. Peter and Tony had spent hours working in the lab until Pepper had called them up for a movie night.

Saturday had been a day filled with sparring and lab work. Tony and Peter had been eating a late breakfast when Peter had - looking at his waffles - said, “I wonder if I could stick to a non-stick pan?” And it had turned into a four-hour evening of seeing if there was anything Peter couldn’t stick to. The answer had been, so far, nothing.

May had walked into Tony’s lab at 4:30 to find Peter and Tony sitting crisscross on the floor, Peter’s hand in a bowl of water.

“What on earth is happening?” she asked, furrowing her brows as neither of the boys looked at her. She cleared her throat.

“Testing out… to see if I can stick,” Peter had responded, eyes glued to the bowl of water in concentration.

“Stick to what, exactly?”

“Water,” Peter had responded.

“Wow. Alright well. when that fails, you two come on up to the family floor. Dinner is almost ready.” And, watching them with genuine interest as to why they were both considered genius’, she stepped out of the hall.

Peter and Tony turned up in the kitchen not much later, looking disappointed.

“I can’t believe that I don’t stick to water,” came a grumble from Peter.

“But you do stick to wet things. I don’t really understand why you can’t stick to water.” Suddenly Peter perked up, whipping his head around to look at Tony.

“Do you think I could walk on water? Like those water spiders do?”

“I think that since the spider that bit you wasn’t a water spider… then probably not.” Peter just hummed, shrugging his shoulders. He turned to see May and Happy standing at the kitchen island chopping up pickles.

“Are those the- “

“Pickles I made myself last year? Yes, yes, they are,” she had said, a proud smile crossing her face. Peter had smiled before laying across the island to reach into the jar. She swatted at his hand, but he came away from the jar with a pickle, nonetheless.

“You’re going to ruin your dinner!” she jabbed as she resumed chopping. Peter took a big, crunchy bite before leaning forward and grabbing the rest of the jar.

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure I could eat every jar of these pickles and then some and still be hungry enough for dinner. Enhanced metabolism and all,” he had joked. May just set aside the few pickles she had chopped and continued on with cooking.

Peter ended up eating the whole jar, and he could attest to the fact that pickles were one of the few foods his aunt could make well.

They were halfway through dinner, Peter thoroughly enjoying the potato salad when May gasped and buried her face into her hands.

“I’m so dumb! I knew the potato salad was missing something!” Peter looked down where his fork was digging in.

“What’s it missing? It tastes great.” May just gave him a look.

“I chopped up the pickles for it but never put them in.” She went to stand, but Happy grabbed her arm.

“Sit and enjoy your dinner, it tastes just fine without the pickles,” he said, smiling.

“Are you sure? Because it’ll just take a sec- “

“I’m sure. Come on, this is great.” And just like that, it was forgotten.

After dinner, the crew migrated to the living room to watch another movie. Peter had ended up on the corner of the couch, feet tucked under Tony’s legs for warmth as the group watched Good Will Hunting. Peter smacked his lips; his mouth was uncannily dry. He reached down for his water and took a sip. It didn’t help very much, but he really didn’t think anything of it.

As the night progressed, Peter let out a yawn. He moved his mouth around, his face feeling a bit strange. All of the work with Tony had really taken it out of him. By the time the movie was finished Peter was exhausted. His eyelids weighed him down.

“I’m going to head to bed guys,” he muttered, pushing himself to his feet.

“Spider-baby’s already sleeping? You’re getting old on me Pete,” Tony joked as he put his arm around Pepper.

“Yeah well, during all of our – tests, who’s the one doing all the work?” Tony had just chuckled before saying a goodnight.

Peter brushed his teeth quickly before slipping into his pajamas. His stomach felt a bit tight, and he guessed he must have been much more tired than he had thought. He climbed into his bed with a groan, going to scrunch his eyes closed. His face felt oddly… weak? Like he couldn’t move the muscles like he normally could. But the pull of sleep drowned out any thoughts he may have had about the strange feeling.

*****

Waking up to his spider-sense going haywire was never something Peter enjoyed. He would jerk awake with a gasp, looking around frantically to find the problem. But this time when the creeping sense of danger spiked and Peter woke up, he could hardly move.

God, he felt terrible. His throat and mouth felt like they were stuffed with cotton, he could barely breathe, and within a second, he realized he was about to throw up. Peter went to turn over and found himself flailing awkwardly. It was as though his arms and legs were weighed down by ten tons. He could hardly get them to move. He grunted, turning himself on his side, and puked off the side of the bed.

“Fri-," his voice cracked like he hadn’t drunk water for a week. “Lights… Tony…” He tried to stand, needed water. He didn’t even make it to a semi-standing position before he ended up on his face – thanking God that he hadn’t fallen in the vomit. He couldn’t move, and he couldn’t breathe, and he had no clue what was happening.

The lights flickered on in the room, but it didn’t matter because he was just staring at the wall opposite him, dragging in ragged breaths.

He heard pounding footsteps coming down the hall. Tony. Tony would make this better.

“Peter! Pete!” Someone fell on their knees beside him, and hands were rolling Peter over. He stared up at Mr. Stark’s face. The man looked about three seconds away from passing out himself. “FRIDAY, call Helen. Have her meet me in the Med bay. What’s wrong with him? Is he safe to move?” Peter’s spinning brain couldn’t keep up with everything Tony said.

“Dr. Cho is on her way, I am unable to get a read on the reaction Mr. Parker is having, although it looks to be some kind of poisoning. He is safe to move; I would recommend immediate medical treatment.” By the time FRIDAY was saying ‘treatment’ Tony had already lifted a completely limp Peter into the air. The man grunted at the deadweight but took off down the hall.

“Open the elevator, take us to floor three.”

The events were swirling around Peter. His chest felt like it had when Toomes had dropped the building on him, and he couldn’t move anything. He wanted to throw up, but it seemed as though his stomach was paralyzed as well. He was seeing double Tony’s staring at him.

“You’re alright. Just breathe, okay? Helen’s going to meet us in the Med bay. You’re going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.” Tony was staring down at him looking frazzled, his eyes wide with anxiety. Peter wanted to respond, to tell Tony he was sorry for freaking him out so bad, but his vision was getting darker and darker as the cracking wheezes rattled from his throat. He wanted to explain that he had no idea why he was feeling like this, that he hadn’t done anything reckless to get sick. He felt them moving again, then there were new voices.

“Get him on the bed! FRIDAY, run-down on symptoms. Stark, grab the oxygen mask from behind you.” Peter could hear FRIDAY’s voice, but things were making less and less sense. Something was put over his face, a cool rush of oxygen pulsed into his mouth. He would have sighed with relief if he could have. Then a hand was on his eyes, and something so bright was being shone in them. He grunted again.

A hand slipped into Peter’s loose one, and he felt it squeeze.

“Peter, can you squeeze my hand back?” Helen’s voice came from… somewhere. She was asking him to do something. He liked Helen. Wanted to do what she asked – but he couldn’t remember what it was anymore. “Peter can you hear me?” Who was Peter? Why was he hearing someone? He didn’t know.

He got one last glimpse of a worried face – felt a sharp pain in his stomach – inability to move – couldn’t breathe – it was getting dark again.

*****

Peter woke up to a quiet beeping beside his head. The first thing he felt was the oxygen mask over his mouth, pushing cool air into his lungs. He could feel an IV in his arm, and a soft hand in his. He heard quiet sniffles beside him.

With a mammoth effort he peeled his eyes open, looking down to see May, face buried in the mattress with his hand gripped in hers. He could see her shoulders shaking as she cried. Peter licked his lips as he squeezed her hand.

She shot up suddenly, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Hey baby, oh God it’s good to see you awake,” her voice shook as she raked her free hand through his hair. Peter blinked heavily.

“Wh’re y’o cryin’?” he muttered, and he had no clue how she understood him, but she did. “Am I dyin’?”Her face visibly paled at that, and Peter caught movement from a chair behind her. Mr. Stark looked exhausted, his eyes dark and his hair was a mess as he stepped beside May.

“You’re not dying. Well, not anymore. You’ll be fine,” Tony said, his voice firm. “Your aunt took a page out of my ‘self-deprecation’ hand-book,” Tony said, as May flashed him a dirty look.

“Wha’ happened?” he asked, reaching a clumsy hand up to the mask. Tony caught him before he made it and pushed his hand back onto the mattress.

“Let’s leave that there until Helen says otherwise.”

May sniffled and looked down. “I poisoned you. I- the pickles… it was Botulinum poisoning in the pickles. I- I’m so sorry, Peter. I can’t believe – I don’t…” She broke off, looking down as more tears trailed down her face.

“You didn’t mean to. Plus, ‘m fine,” Peter said, but he felt his eyelids growing heavier again, the exhaustion of the … well, he didn’t know how long this whole ordeal had been, but the exhaustion was prevalent anyways. “It’s a good thing you didn’t put them in the potato salad,” he muttered. That would’ve been bad since they didn’t have spider-healing. Peter felt his chest tightening as he thought of May, Happy, Tony, or Pepper having gone through the same thing he had.

“Hey, bud – you alright?” Tony asked, and Peter noticed the heart monitor was steadily increasing its pace as he forced a few deep breaths.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” He muttered, noticing how neither adult in the room believed him.

“Yeah, well – it’s hard not to blame yourself when you poison your nephew,” she said. She wouldn’t look at him. He hated that she wouldn’t look at him, so he squeezed her hand harder.

“May, it’s not your fault. Please don’t – don’t feel guilty. It happens,” he had said, stifling a yawn.

“It does not happen, Peter. I’ve never heard of anyone else poisoning their-” He squeezed her hand again.

“Don’t. ‘m fine. Plus, I’m really tired, and I won’t be able to sleep if you’re crying by my bed,” he teased, blinking heavily.

“Oh, sorry. Did I wake you?” she said, but Peter smiled softly as he heard the guilt leaving her voice.

“Eh, that’s okay.” He closed his eyes, sighing at the feeling of her hands in his hair once more. “Let’s just order takeout from now on.”

#fanfic #Peter parker #Tony stark #may parker #whump #poisoning

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kelseyshljourney · 3 years

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My HL (Hodgkin’s Lymphoma) Journey

“You have cancer”. I heard these words on a sunny July afternoon in 2020. July 23rd to be exact. I had a chest biopsy that was done that Tuesday, the 21st and anxiously waited for the results. I was not prepared to hear those words ever in my entire life nor is there anything that can prepare you for it. I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter, Madison, at the time so you can imagine the emotions I was feeling were heightened because of the pregnancy. Let me start at the beginning. Welcome to my cancer story.

My cancer journey started during my pregnancy with my aforementioned daughter. I found out I was pregnant with our first child in February 2020. I’ll make it clear that I had a wonderful pregnancy (cancer stuff put aside) and my daughter is happy, healthy, and living her best life. We were wonderfully blessed to be on this journey of pregnancy and enjoying every part of it. Although, I would not recommend being pregnant during a pandemic. Now being in 2021, there’s more that we know about COVID-19 but the beginning was rough. During the first trimester of pregnancy, my midwife brought up information about genetic testing that is available to pregnant moms for their babies that can be done through a simple blood test. It’s a carrier screening test that’s optional but does check to see if I am a carrier for 3 genetic abnormalities (Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18, and Trisomy 13). I almost didn’t do this blood test because whether or not I was a carrier for the 3 different abnormalities, it wouldn’t change the outcome of the pregnancy. If I ended up being a carrier, my husband, Rob, would also have to be carrier in order for it to be most likely passed down to our baby. I decided to do it because it was covered by my insurance and it was a quick visit to my clinic to get my blood drawn. No big deal.

I got the test done in April and then didn’t hear anything right away. I didn’t think much of it but I realized that I never got my results back on the test so I called my clinic to get my future appointments set up and then spoke directly with my midwife. She asked me if I heard anything from the lab about my results and I told her that I hadn’t. She ended up calling them and then called me right back. She said that my results came back as “inconclusive” as the lab could not determine if I was a carrier for any genetic abnormality because a lot of my DNA strands are incomplete with parts missing. My midwife said that out of her 30+ years of doing this job, she has never heard of this result before. Great. I was concerned about what this meant for the baby and concerned since my midwife didn’t know how to handle this. My care was transferred over to a Maternal & Fetal Medicine (M&FM) doctor who I saw for the rest of my pregnancy as I was now considered to be high risk. During this same week (the week of May 18th), I had a visit over the phone with a genetic counselor who told me that the result of the genetic test could be the cause of something as simple as being anemic (not getting enough iron) or something more serious like a tumor (whether benign or malignant). I was told that the least likely of it to be would be a tumor (I can laugh about this now but the irony). I also had a breast ultrasound at the hospital to make sure there were no lumps that could be causing this (there weren’t – I was clear).

At this point, I was feeling stressed but overall still feeling good and excited about my pregnancy despite this hiccup (or what I thought was just a hiccup). I had a few visits with the M&FM doctor and had more ultrasounds than a “normal” pregnancy so that they can check to make sure that Baby E was growing as she should and didn’t show any outward signs of a genetic disability. I had a lot of blood work done but it all came back clear and showing no signs of anything going wrong in my body. For a while, I felt like a test subject and with every test that was ordered and prick in my arm I was getting annoyed that I wasn’t getting to enjoy a “normal” pregnancy with all the visits that I had. I say “normal” because every pregnancy is different for every woman. When my doctor told me that the last thing she wanted to order for me was chest CT and an MRI to confirm there was not a tumor in my body, she promised she would let me enjoy my pregnancy and not order any more tests. I almost almost declined the MRI and CT because I felt like I didn’t want to go through that and be exposed to possible radiation and on top of that, I felt fine. God was really watching out for me and leading me in the direction to get the diagnostic tests done.

On July 8th, I had the MRI and CT done. I was with Rob when I got the call from my doctor that afternoon to go over the results. The MRI was unclear because of the baby moving but from what they could see, there was nothing that came up. However, the CT scan showed a mass in my chest that was the size of a distorted hockey puck; measuring at 7 ½ cm by 7cm by 2 cm and was located between my heart and my lung. I was watching Rob tear up and all I could say to him as soon as I hung up with my doctor was. “I’m going to be okay” over and over again. I think I was in complete shock over hearing that there is a tumor in my chest that could be cancer. We had my family over that night and I broke down several times throughout the night. I remember saying that I want to watch my child grow up (since we didn’t know the sex of the baby at the time) and I was scared that I wouldn’t have that chance. I went to bed that night thinking that I was going to die during the night because of the tumor. To be very clear, I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts or anything but when I was told that I have a tumor in my chest, the first thought that went through my mind was that I wouldn’t live to see the next day. This sounds dramatic as I’m writing this but it's the truth. In reality, I probably have had this tumor for a year, two years, or even longer. No one truly knows.

Between finding out about the tumor and getting the chest biopsy done was about 2 weeks. I can tell you that it was the slowest 2 weeks of my life. During this time, Rob and I were busy packing and getting ready to move into our house. So on top of being in the middle of a pandemic, being pregnant, having a tumor in my chest (without knowing if it was cancer), we were moving too. These two weeks were filled with prayers and spending time with friends and family. I had many breakdowns but Rob helped by feeding me all my favorite foods (I was pregnant after all). We moved into our house on July 16th. It was a wonderful day and we are thankful for the friends and family that helped us move into our new space. It was an exhausting time but so worth it. As mentioned at the beginning of this, I had my chest biopsy on Tuesday, July 21st. They couldn’t put me under because I was pregnant but my midwife prescribed me something that would be safe to take while pregnant but will help calm me during the procedure. It was a surreal feeling laying on the procedure table seeing a needle sticking out my chest and moving with every breath I took. Without that medication, I would have probably freaked out since I knew that the needle was close to my heart and lung.

Me in post-op.

2 days later is when I got the call from my doctor telling me the life changing news: I have cancer. God works as wonderfully as he does because that day my mom and grandma happened to come over for lunch, a rare occurrence during the work week so they were there when I got the call. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (HL), which happens to be a very treatable cancer. My doctor told me that she has already been in contact with the oncology team at the hospital to have someone get a hold of me to get an appointment set-up right away. I called all of our family who came over to process the news with me. There were many tears shed between all of us and I couldn’t eat or drink anything because I was so stressed and worried about what this means for my future and Madison’s future. That night, I got a call from Dr. Anderson who became my oncologist during this journey. We met with him the following day at the hospital to go over my CT and MRI scan images and to go over treatment options. He discussed that the general treatment plan for HL was chemotherapy and possible radiation. He also discussed the staging (HL is staged from stage I to stage IV) but because I was pregnant, they were limited in what tests they could order to determine a true stage until after I give birth. For example, they would normally perform a PET scan to confirm where the cancer is in my body but weren’t able to because it’s not safe for the baby. I was originally stage I but borderline stage II because of the size of my cancer and they knew that because of the chest CT. One thing he suggested was to get a bone marrow biopsy done to confirm that the cancer hasn’t spread to my bone marrow (which is a common place for HL to be).

I can tell you now that doing the bone marrow biopsy rivals the pain of childbirth. I was 6 months pregnant when I had the bone marrow biopsy done and it is a very painful procedure. I had the biopsy done on August 5th and what they do is take two samples from my pelvic bone, a liquid sample and a solid sample. The thing is, they could only numb the area where the needle was inserted into my body but there was no way to numb my actual pelvic bone so that is where I felt the pain and it was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. I’ll be honest, I cried during it but I luckily had a wonderful nurse who held my hand and talked me through the pain the entire time. Fortunately, the results came back confirming that there was no cancer to be found in my bone marrow. I was still considered to be stage I at this point in my cancer journey but that changed once I gave birth. I’ll get into that a little later.

This was the day after. I was very sore. Peep at the zubaz.

Now that the bone marrow biopsy was done, we met again with Dr. Anderson to go over options. I had the choice of starting chemotherapy while still pregnant (it’s generally safe since I was in my third trimester) or wait until I give birth to start. It was a very heavy decision to make. On one hand if I were to start chemotherapy while still pregnant, there are possible negative side effects for the baby: low birth weight, preterm labor (which ended up happening anyway), mental issues, and fertility issues. On the other hand, if I wait to receive chemotherapy until after the birth, am I putting my health at risk and possibly getting worse with the cancer? Rob and I went back and forth, talked to our families about it, and prayed – a lot.

After a lot of thinking, I decided to wait until after the birth to start chemotherapy. I was feeling good overall and not feeling the “normal” symptoms of HL. I was considered asymptomatic (not showing any symptoms) but here are the common symptoms for HL:

· Persistent fatigue

· Night sweats

· Fever

· Unexplained weight loss

· Severe itching

· Painless swelling of lymph nodes in neck, armpits, or groin

I came to the conclusion that whatever decision I made was the right decision. I knew that I wanted to ride out the rest of my pregnancy without causing any possible disruption to my daughter and her growth. In lieu of receiving treatment during pregnancy, I had to go in for weekly blood work to make sure that everything was still coming back normal (for a pregnancy). My oncologist did order a blood test that checked inflammation in my body. This is called an erythrocyte sedimentation rate (ESR) and the number was already elevated because of pregnancy but also if it was higher than what my oncologist wanted, it would help determine that there might be something bad happening in my body. The number slowly increased as the weeks went on and as I got more and more pregnant. Fortunately, the number was still low enough to satisfy my oncology team. I also had an echocardiogram on July 27th and lung function test on August 3rd to get a baseline on where my heart and lungs were. Of course being pregnant means that my lung function test came back with skewed results than what would be normal. They get these baselines since the drugs that I will be receiving during chemotherapy can affect the heart and lungs negatively so they want to keep a close eye on it. They both came back fine, my heart is strong and my lungs were functioning as well as they could with the rest of my organs pressed into them (yay pregnancy).

I had my last ultrasound for my daughter when I was 33 weeks pregnant and the last time that I would see the M&FM doctor as I would be seen every week until I gave birth with my midwife. Little did I know, I would be walking into the hospital on Sunday evening, September 13th because my water broke (I’ll never forget Rob’s face when they confirmed that my water broke – it was priceless!) A little worried but ready for anything, I was ready to give birth despite her being 6 weeks early. Since I was only 1cm dilated, the plan was to induce me the next morning and start the process of giving birth. Apparently my daughter Madison had a different plan because I spent the night dealing with veeerrry painful contractions before I got the epidural. Seriously, a game changer. When the doctors came in to check how I was doing with the epidural, they were surprised to find that I was 9cm dilated and told me that I was about to start pushing. Since I was without sleep and very tired and given the epidural, I was ready to do the damn thing. After an hour of pushing, Madison was born on September 14th at 6:51am! She spent 13 days in the NICU but was never needing any respiratory support at only being at 34 weeks but was healthy and happy.

Once Madison was home from the hospital, it was time for me to get started with my official cancer journey. On September 29th, I had a PET scan done and this helped to confirm everything we knew but also showed something unexpected; there was another lymph node that lit up in my chest too. This put me officially in stage II HL. The treatment plan remained the same though; I were to receive a chemotherapy combination of drugs abbreviated ABVD (every letter represents a different chemo drug). This part is hard to write because even discussing these drugs makes me nauseous and queasy (something that I don’t think will go away anytime soon). The “A” in the “chemo cocktail” side effect is hair loss. Something that I have prepared myself for, or as much as I could, but nothing can prepare you for when it actually starts happening. I knew that the hair loss was temporary and I would rather be bald for a short time than have cancer for the rest of my life. We got together with some friends at the end of September interspersed so they can meet Madison and also to spend some time together before Rob and I made the decision to lock down our house from visitors. We also made the decision to limit our circle of people that we will see in the coming months. We did this because we knew that my health was going to decline because of chemo and also with the threat of COVID, my immune system couldn’t take the risk of getting sick. It was a very difficult decision since we thrive on social situations and we love hanging out with our friends and family but it was vital that we don’t see many people. This really affected my mental health as I rely on our friends to get me through hard times and this was hands down one of the hardest times that I will probably go through.

Over the course of the next 6 months, I will experience the ups and downs (a lot more downs than ups) of receiving chemotherapy and the effect that this has on my body. I would never wish chemotherapy and the pain associated with it on anybody. I know that this was extremely tough on my family and friends to see me in such a state. Chemotherapy and the days after it are a nightmare that you can’t wake up from. It was my reality waking up every day and knowing that I still have cancer and have the possibility of getting really sick from it or something worse (don’t worry, I never got into a dark head space but I also needed to make sure I was realistic in all the possibilities). My only other experience with cancer is not a positive one. My sister in law, Beth, passed away from stage IV malignant melanoma on March 26th, 2017. From the time she was diagnosed to the time she passed away, it was about 6 months so you can imagine what was going through my mind when I was diagnosed with this horrible disease.

On Monday October 5th, I underwent outpatient surgery to get an implantable port that was put in my chest. This port is used for chemotherapy and is an alternative to having the nurses inserting a needle in my vein each chemo session because over time, the chemotherapy drugs can negatively affect strong veins. The port uses a special needle during chemotherapy to inject the drugs and connected to the port is a tube (I’m sure there’s a medical term but I’m not medically trained) that ran up to a main vein near my neck that was connected directly to my heart so that the drugs were dispersed quickly through my body. It was never painful during the time that I had it and I looked forward to the day when I would be able to get my port out because that means that I was cancer free and no longer receiving chemotherapy.

Also in post-op. Notice the 2 different spots where they cut open. The bottom cut is where the port rested.

On Thursday, October 8th, I had my first chemotherapy session. Luckily the hospital allowed one visitor to come with patients so Rob was fortunately able to come with me. My mom was staying with us for a few weeks to help with the transition of chemotherapy and making sure that someone was able to take care of Madison in case that I was not able to (thinking of this breaks my heart because I never wanted to be a position where I couldn’t take care of my own child). Rob and I showed up to the hospital early in the morning at about 8am and didn’t leave until a little after 3pm. It’s safe to say that it was a very long, draining, exhausting day. Not all chemotherapy sessions were this long but because it was my first one, there’s more that happens than normal. Walking into the oncology suite for the first time to get chemotherapy was nerve-wracking because I didn’t know what to expect. I also felt a lot of eyes on me from the other people also waiting to get chemotherapy and I knew they were looking at me because of my age. Most of them were a lot older. I did come across someone one time who was just a few years older than me (they usually ask date of birth when checking in so that’s how I knew) and I could tell it was his first time because he looked as nervous as I did during my first visit.

At the hospital, they have both private rooms and a public space too. We were lucky enough to get a private room and it made things a little easier and helped to ease my anxiety knowing that if anything negative were to happen, I wouldn’t be in a public area where other people could witness it. The first nurse that I had was Jen and she was incredible. I’ll say that every nurse that I had were awesome. Anyways, they stared out each visit by taking blood work through my port. They want to make sure that I met the threshold with my blood work to be able to receive chemo because if I am below that threshold for what they are comfortable with, I would be deemed too sick to receive chemo and it would have to be delayed. Luckily I never got to that point but I came close a couple of times. They mainly check my hemoglobin and my white blood cell count but there’s a few other numbers they check as well. I then had a visit with my oncologist who walked me through what each drug’s side effects are. It also was an opportunity to ask questions. The main side effects entailed nausea, lack of appetite, headaches, fatigue, numbness in hands and feet, and night sweats. To help curb the nausea, there were “pre-meds” that were given to me before I received the chemo drugs that mainly were anti-nausea drugs.

Once my oncologist left, it was just me, Rob, and Jen. Jen started to give me one of the pre-med drugs called Emend. It’s an anti-nausea drug that was given to me through my port. Jen just started the drip from the IV bag when I started to feel my chest tighten and my face got flushed. I asked Jen if it was normal to feel this way and she stopped what she was doing immediately and told me that it’s not normal. She stopped the drip right away, pressed a button in the room, and then all of a sudden, it went from the 3 of us to about 7-8 people in the tiny room. There were nurses, helpers, and a pharmacist that came in the room. Someone was taking my vitals (heart rate, oxygen level, and temperature), while the nurses there checking my legs for swelling. As soon as she stopped the drip, the tightening in my chest went away and I was able to breathe normally. My vitals came back fine but my heart rate was through the roof because having that many people in the room spiked my anxiety and then there were people that were sticking their heads out of their rooms to see what was going on. It was slightly embarrassing because I felt fine and I don’t like being fussed over. The pharmacist explained that they will discontinue giving me the Emend but he also explained that this is not a common thing that occurs for most people so I most likely had an allergic reaction to the drug. Once everyone left my room, Jen gave me a huge dose of Benadryl to counteract the Emend so I ended up falling asleep for most of the session and I was in and out of consciousness so I don’t really remember much from my first session. I woke up periodically when Jen came in the room with the chemo drugs. I think Rob left the room for a little bit to get some food from the café and to stretch his legs.

The drug that always came first was the Adriamycin (A) which had to be administered by the nurse sitting next to me and slowly injecting it in a timely manner. The rest of the drugs, Bleomycin (B), Vinblastine (V), and Doxorubicin (D), were given via IV bags that were slowly administered over a period of time. When 3pm came around, I finished up my last drug and was able to leave. I went home and slept for a long time.

I received chemo every other week. I was considered to be toxic for the first 72 hours after, which means my bodily fluids should not be handled by anyone but me. Rob and I deemed our downstairs bathroom as the “chemo bathroom” so that’s what I used every time. After going to the bathroom, I have to put the toilet seat down and flush twice. If I vomited, I would need to be the one to clean it up but if someone were to help, they would need to wear a mask and gloves. Fortunately I never vomited during my cancer journey (mind over matter). For the rest of my chemo sessions, they were mostly uneventful. There was a point where the hospital changed their visitor policy and I was not able to bring Rob to the appointments so I had to go alone. This really took an effect on my mental health and negatively affected my health knowing that I would have to endure the sessions alone. I felt like my health declined during that time period so for a few months, I was going alone and sitting in the public area. I usually would bring our Nintendo Switch, read, or I would sit and watch Tik Toks. I would have a song in my head on how I was feeling that day so I would usually send the song to my family to let them know where my head space was at that day.

For those that are wondering, a chemo cycle is about a month long (28 days). In each cycle, there are 2 sessions. The plan was to do 2 cycles and then have a repeat PET scan done (which was the end of November) and then most likely 4 more cycles of chemo after that and then another PET scan (which was in March). As I mentioned earlier, one of the side effects from one of the chemo drugs is hair loss. My oncologist prepared me that I most likely will lose my hair. Easier said than done. I didn’t see any hair loss during my first cycle but I knew that it was only a matter of time. When I started my second cycle of chemo, that’s when it happened. It was the week of Halloween and I believe it was a Tuesday when I took a shower during the day. As mentioned before, my mom was living with us to take care of Madison and I am thankful that she was there. This is a vulnerable topic to discuss for me because even though I know the hair loss is temporary, our hair makes us part of who we are as people and you can’t convince me otherwise. When I started washing my hair, I pulled out a huge portion. I kept pulling out more and more hair and I broke down crying in the shower. I eventually made it out and showed my mom what happened. This was one of the toughest days of my journey. I ended up sleeping for about 6 hours after that because I was emotionally and mentally drained. That night, Rob bought me my favorite food from a hibachi place close by our house and that helped my spirits a little bit.

The rest of the week I avoided washing my hair when I took my showers because I wasn’t ready to go through that trauma again because despite pulling out a few handfuls, I still had plenty of hair on my head. I said at the beginning of the journey that I wasn’t planning on shaving my head and that I would just keep what hair I could but I changed my decision on that. On Halloween was when I became bald. I was prepared this time when I went to take a shower as I brought in a few shower beers and had loud music playing. I walked out of the bathroom and showed Rob, who was watching Madison, the hair that I pulled out and with tears in my eyes, I asked him if he could shave my head. I can tell you that afterwards, I didn’t feel sad, I felt liberated more than anything because this was my decision and not something that the cancer could take away from me. I was in pretty good spirits and spent the night playing board games with my brother and sister in law. We dressed Madison up as a Chipotle burrito even though she didn’t like that (she wasn’t in it long). I now am in possession of a few wigs and some hair wraps and hats. My family has never seen me without a hat or a wig on because being bald is the only physical trait that links me to cancer. I want them to always remember me with hair because this is already tough on them that I don’t want them to have that memory of me.

One thing that I didn’t mention earlier but with the Bleomycin (B), this was a drug that caused my loss of appetite, fatigue, and overall nausea after each chemo session. This drug is known to cause negative effects on the lungs so I was carefully monitored by getting lung function tests done. The last one that I did was at the end of my first cycle where they saw a slight drop in my lung function so they stopped giving me this drug so I was only getting AVD for the rest of my cycles. My oncologist explained that it’s better to have some of this drug in my regimen than not getting it at all and it’s about 50% of the time that it’s dropped at some point during the chemo journey. I overall felt better and got my appetite and some of my energy back. I started working out again and felt like I could get through the day without feeling like I needed a nap. I probably would have napped more if I didn’t have Madison at home but I wanted to give as much attention to her as possible. I’ve said this many times to my family, friends, and coworkers, but Madison will always be my dose of serotonin when I’m having a bad day.

After going through 2 successful chemo sessions, it was time to get another PET scan done. This happened on November 30th. I got the results of the scan 2 days later with Dr. Anderson. He explained that the chemo drugs are doing their job and he saw a huge improvement in the cancer that was found in my body. The mass in my chest also decreased in size. He showed me the scans and I was blown away with the difference. Seeing the cancer light up in my body gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes but also seeing the improvement gave me so much hope. The game plan after this visit was to go through 4 more cycles (about 4 months) of chemo and then do another PET scan.

On December 30th, I was starting my 4th cycle and I wasn’t scheduled for a visit with my oncology team that day. I had my routine bloodwork done and then I was sitting in a private room waiting for my pre-meds when my nurse for the day came in. She told me that it was taking longer to get the blood work back because my white blood cell count was so low that they had to individually count my white blood cells. Individually. Count. Meaning, I was almost at the threshold of being too sick to get chemo and inevitably delaying treatment. The nurse warned to be extra careful and to avoid leaving the house since I could not risk getting sick now. I only left the house to go to chemo at this point so I wasn’t seeing many people anyways. I remember calling my mom and telling her the news and breaking down crying because I was scared. It’s hard for me to admit that and I felt scared during this process more than I let on to my family and friends because I hate feeling vulnerable. I was able to still get treatment that day but I also didn’t feel very good during that visit. This happened one other time, which happened to be my last chemo session that I had.

One scary event that happened was when I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I was in the middle of my workday, Madison was being watched by my sister in law at my house, and I was in the kitchen walking back to my computer when I started having a hard time breathing. I sat down and tried to take a few calming breaths. I calmly told Briana that I wasn’t able to take a proper breath and I then told her that I’m going to call my oncology team to see what they would recommend. I spoke with a nurse who told me to come in right away. She said she spoke with my oncology team who recommended getting some tests done to see what is going on. I went to the hospital and had an EKG done and also a chest CT. My oncologist said the EKG came back fine and so did the CT. They thought possibly that I could have a blood clot but that wasn’t the case. They recommended taking it easy and to take some ibuprofen when I got home, which I did and I started to feel better and was able to take a deep breath again. This happened on February 2nd. I didn’t have that feeling ever again.

On March 10th, 2021 is when I completed my 6th and final chemo cycle. Despite having a low white blood cell count, I was in pretty high spirits hoping that this was going to be my last chemo session ever. I had the last PET scan on March 22nd and went over the results with Dr. Anderson on March 24th. I was a bundle of nerves and holding Rob’s hand when my oncologist walked into the room and what he started saying was ominous. He started out by saying that the scans look good but aren’t perfect (okay?) but they didn’t want to leave anything to chance (alright, what does that mean?) He proceeded to show us the recent scans and then did a side by side comparison and was showing us the improvement. He then started going over the follow-up protocol for when I would get future scans, visits, etc. I had to stop him and ask outright, “is there cancer left in my body??” and he laughed and said that he probably should have started out the visit by saying that I am cancer free. CANCER. FREE. Even typing this, I’m tearing up. I started crying tears of joy, relief, etc. He said that I am officially in remission and in 5 years I will be considered completely cured of cancer. I’ll be getting CT scans done once every year and visits and blood work done every 6 months.

Dr. Anderson explained that the mass in my chest decreased in size to the point that he’s comfortable with not recommending radiation. He said that I have the option of speaking with the radiation oncologists but that he doesn’t feel the need for me to get radiation done. He knew that I was very against getting radiation if I could avoid it but of course I would listen to medical advice if it was strongly recommended. This was a huge sigh of relief since radiation would take a toll on my body. We left the hospital, I cried some more, and we went immediately to our families the life changing news. We spent the rest of the day at my parents house where Madison was and celebrated by popping a bottle of champagne and ordering sushi. I took the rest of the week off from work to relax and enjoy being cancer free. I got my port out on April 1st. It was such a wonderful and freeing feeling. I was looking forward to this day since I got it put in.

Again, post-op. I think my face says it all.

I can’t describe the feeling that when I check my next visit, it’s not until June. From May 2020 to March 2021, I’ve had a total of 47 visits that were cancer related (not even counting OBGYN visits). To provide a comparison before 2020, I would maybe have 4 visits during the year. We slowly have been spending more time with friends that we haven’t seen since before starting chemo and it’s been an amazing feeling. I’m looking forward to my hair growing back (and my eyebrows which slowly disappeared). If anyone asks me what my future plans are, I tell them that I plan to travel this year and focus on being a cancer free 27 year old. I’m also hoping that by sharing my story, it helps to spread awareness to the fact that it’s vital to get yearly check-ups by your doctor because you never know what might be happening without your knowledge. Also, if something doesn’t feel right, speak up.

I want to send a huge thank you to our friends, family, coworkers, our church, friends of friends, and any others that have prayed for us, brought meals and gifts over, or thought of us. I also want to thank Dr. Anderson and his team at Regions and for all the nurses that took care of me during my chemo sessions. I’m overwhelmed with the amount of love and support that I have felt during this entire journey and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m emotional writing this. Thank you.

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