#attractive? Family man? Protective? God fearing Christian? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bulletballet-arch · 3 years

Text

REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! tag 10 ! good luck ! TAGGED. I took this from Minnie’s archived Bioshock blog. I’ve been looking for this meme all this month. TAGGING. @hammurabicomplex. @bluuxriising. @ Me - for Sal on @bulletsoverbensonhurst. @immaterialed (charlie) @soypeor (bella) @svmmercmance. @mrflayed. and you!

BASICS. FULL NAME : Eve Delores Littlejohn NICKNAME : Evie, Little Evie (by her maternal side of the family), Delores, Didi NAME MEANING / S Eve is from the ancient Hebrew name חַוָּה (Chawwah), which was derived from the Hebrew word חָוָה (chawah) meaning "to breathe" or the related word חָיָה (chayah) meaning "to live". Delores is a variant of Dolores, meaning "sorrows", taken from the Spanish title of the Virgin Mary María de los Dolores, meaning "Mary of Sorrows." Littlejohn is a surname that has historically been found in England and Scotland. With potential origins being either ‘to distinguish a beloved child that was not the eldest.’ Or, ‘a contradictory nickname for a large man.’ HISTORICAL CONNECTION? : She’s named after her grandmother, Evelyn Hollins.

AGE : 42 BIRTHDAY : June 2 ETHNIC GROUP : Black-American. Meaning she’s mixed with a lot (Some of her relatives are respectively Creole and Italian) but uses Black as a catch-all term. NATIONALITY : American LANGUAGE / S : English, Italian, Spanish, Latin, some French SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Bisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Biromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Verse dependent, usually married -or connected- to Salvatore Scozzari in some way. CLASS : Upper-Class HOME TOWN / AREA : Brooklyn. Spent time between Bedford-Stuyvesant - with her paternal grandfather and Park Slope - with her maternal grandparents. CURRENT HOME : In her childhood home in Bedford-Stuyvesant. PROFESSION : Ballet Instructor. Former Professional Ballerina. ( Other verses see her as a professional thief. )

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Black. In terms of her natural hair, Eve has springy, 3C hair she seldom shows off because she was raised in a family where straightened hair was deemed presentable and professional. EYES : Thin almond eyes. Dark brown. NOSE : Straight and small. FACE : She has a prominent, high forehead, that’s accented with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. LIPS : Full. COMPLEXION : She has a light brown (tawny) complexion. SCARS : None major. TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 5′4″ BUILD : Eve has a slender build. One of those people who have been small and petite since childhood. Despite this, she also stays skinny because she is obsessively conscious of the food she consumes. The older she gets the more she weighs, however. USUAL HAIR STYLE : Her hair is cut short. Reaching her shoulders in a neat, even bob. She either curls it in a retro fashion or curls the tips. For work she wears it in a traditional, pinned bun. USUAL FACE LOOK : In public, she appears stoic for the most part. Any emotion shown (such as the length of a smile) is carefully calculated. She has to seem perfect. USUAL CLOTHING : Form fitting dresses. Incredibly chic and fashionable for the time. Shoes include heels - never open-toed, unless she has on stockings. Extravagant earrings. Jewelry that can include either necklaces, crosses, pearls, or dainty rings. Prone to wearing black sunglasses in public.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Thunderstorms, airplanes, creatures like weasels, snakes and ferrets, break-ins, men she doesn’t know, harm coming to her children ASPIRATION / S : Formerly wanted to become a major [black] ballerina in the elite world of ballet, now she just wants to expose more [inner city children] to dance through her job. Personally, she wants her children to change the world in some form or fashion, too. Eve also has good ideas on improving the community, but at the moment has no idea how to go about these ideas. POSITIVE TRAITS : Generous, compassionate, patient, protective NEGATIVE TRAITS : Strict, sullen, hard to read, represses her emotions, secretive MBTI : Advocate - INFJ-T ZODIAC : Cancer TEMPERAMENT : Melancholic ANIMALS : Lioness VICE / S : Pride & Lust FAITH : Christian. Grew up Baptist, but Catholic influences have been around her since childhood. Attended a Catholic High School in Park Slope, her grandmother Evelyn was also a practicing Catholic. GHOSTS ? : Yes and no. She feels that objects formerly owned by the deceased posses the essence of their previous owners and that they essentially live on through these pieces of property. AFTERLIFE ? : Yes. REINCARNATION ? : No, but it’s a romantic concept. ALIENS ? : No. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : Democratic ECONOMIC PREFERENCE : She likes being where she’s at now. But honestly, being upper class is all she’s ever known. SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION : Bourgeoisie, basically. The Littlejohn’s represent The Historical Black Elite. EDUCATION LEVEL : College level. FAMILY.

FATHER : William ‘Bill’ Littlejohn MOTHER : Linda Littlejohn ( nee Hollins ) SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED FAMILY : Amos Littlejohn (paternal grandfather) Liza Littlejohn (paternal grandmother) Evelyn Hollins (maternal grandmother) Giuseppe D’Aietti (maternal grandfather) and a wide host of cousins, aunts and uncles.

FAVOURITES. BOOK : Night Song by Beverly Jenkins. The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Some sort of old, French erotic novel that was published before she was born. MOVIE : Eve watches films along the lines of...Waiting to Exhale, Beaches, The First Wives Club and Fatal Attraction. She loves Made-For-TV movies from the time period. In regards to plays, her favorite one is Sunday In The Park With George. 5 SONGS : Meet Me On The Moon / Essence of Sapphire / No One In The World / People / The First Time I Saw Your Face DEITY : Persephone HOLIDAY : New Years Eve, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Major holidays during the colder season. MONTH : October SEASON : Autumn PLACE : The dance studio she works at. WEATHER : Sunny, but cool. SOUND : The voices of Anita Baker and Sarah Vaughn. A skilled hand running over piano keys. Soft trumpets. Running water. Cats making chipper little meows. SCENT / S : Perfume, floral scented lotions, her partner’s cologne TASTE / S : Caramel, the tang of dark chocolate, strawberries coated with either chocolate, or sprinkles of white sugar. Light Vinegar. FEEL / S : Performing in front of an audience. Hot water engulfing your skin after a long day. Satin - whether it be the fabric of her clothes or sheets, your fingers tightly intertwined with another’s, feeling your significant other’s chest raise and lower against your skin with each breath they take. ANIMAL / S : Cocker Spaniels, Afghan Hounds, Cats, Birds - she loves all ( well, a majority ) of animals. NUMBER : Doesn’t have one. COLOR : White, Pink, Gold.

EXTRA. TALENTS : Dance, Eve is trained in ballet when it comes to her main verse. She has attended ballet classes since the age of eight and ever since then she placed all of her focus into it. Similarly, Eve has always had the makings of a good artist - as a child she enjoyed drawing and had informal art lessons with a man who lived in the basement of her grandfather’s brownstone, but she never invested into that half of her. BAD AT : Singing, Being interviewed, Public Speaking (as in Speech Giving), Decision Making TURN ONS : Charisma, Leadership Skills, Temperature Play, Phone Sex, Heavy Kissing, Light Roleplay TURN OFFS : Public Sex, Tearing [ Her ] Clothes, Threesomes, Cruelty, Senseless Violence HOBBIES : viewing plays & some musicals, reading romance novels, shopping, working out (she was into the whole celebrity VHS tape exercise trend), playing tennis, decorating AESTHETIC : Vintage Black Glamour, Black Ballerinas, Champagne and Wine Glasses, Paintings by Melinda Byers and Edward 'Clay' Wright QUOTES : "I'm bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes." / "There are truths I haven't even told God. And not even myself. I am a secret under the lock of seven keys."

FC INFO. MAIN FC / S : Lynn Whitfield ( A Thin Line Between Love & Hate ) ALT FC / S : Kylie Bunbury ( Twisted ) OLDER FC / S : Lynn Whitfield ( Greenleaf ) YOUNGER FC / S : N/A VOICE CLAIM / S : Lynn Whitfield

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : if you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in , and what would it be about ? A1 : Recently I decided that if/when I try to write anything serious about Eve again, it’ll center on her being a jewel thief because it presents me more fun, and emotionally diverse, opportunities. That and I have a very specific cover image in my mind. Ideally, her adventures would be a series of books. I have no title in mind, no idea about how ‘it would be filmed’ ( although a style replicating 90s films would be excellent, film grain and all. ) but, I do have a bunch of plots in mind that I really don’t feel like typing out here.

Q2 : what would their soundtrack / score sound like ? A2 : Her score would have a vintage sound (or a jazzy Spike Lee sound, if you will) with instrumentals by Dorothy Ashby (a Jazz Harpist) the Ahmad Jamal Trio, Pharaoh Sanders, Yusef Lateef and Tarika Blue. For music with lyrics, the soundtrack would include the likes of Julie London, Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald, and Dionne Warwick.

Q3 : why did you start writing this character ? + Q4 : what first attracted you to this character ? A3 : Whenever I make NPCs for my character’s lives I actually can’t just let them just be NPCs. I start thinking about them too much. Developing them too much. And then I’m like, ‘wow! I really like this character!’ Eve was a different character when I began writing her, and likely wouldn’t be considered the same character as she was previously, if I told someone in real life who knows about my writing (like my grandma) about all the changes she has undergone. Originally Delores was a university professor, because I thought it could lead to interesting interactions with college-age muses. And her previous history with the mafia was also something interesting to tap in. But then I started thinking about what was realistic, what wasn’t realistic, what did I feel comfortable/interested writing? What didn’t I feel comfortable/interested in writing? So as time went on, things would alter about this character. And the new things I came up with attracted me more.

Q5 : describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5 : I have a love/hate relationship with Eve’s quiet demeanor. On one hand, I think quieter characters need love and the ability to be fully dimensional but on the other hand, writing louder characters has always been more fun for me. But really, Eve’s guarded behavior makes writing her stressful in some cases with others because sometimes...if I’m going to be honest...people don’t know how to carry a thread and interact with someone of her demeanor effectively.

Q6 : what do you have in common with your muse ? A6 : We’re both black, we’re both into art (although our exact interests and aesthetics with art differ)

Q7 : how does your muse feel about you ? A7 : Realistically she would think I need to take better care of myself.

Q8 : what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? A8 : We skippin’ this question.

Q9 : what gives you inspiration to write your muse ? A9 : Films such as, “Waiting to Exhale,” “The Kitchen” and “Widows.” Books by Alice Walker, like “The Third Life of Grange Copeland” as well as her short story, “Roselily.” The historical mob figure Stephanie St. Clair.

Q10 : how long did this take you to complete ? A10 : A few hours.

#long post #dash games.#headcanons.

8 notes · View notes

marmalodi · 3 years

Text

John Lennon and Yoko Ono Interview: St. Regis Hotel, 9/5/1971

When we turned up at the St. Regis for our first interview, John and Yoko were still in bed. It was nearly afternoon and there was a flurry of activity in the adjacent rooms. May Pang was much in evidence, bustling about, her long black hair swirling around her. (This was a year or two before her affair with John.) She told us that our interview would have to be interrupted by a fitting for Yoko, which turned out to be to our advantage, because in Yoko's absence John was prepared to go back into the past and talk about Hamburg and the role of Brian Epstein.

We were served tea on a silver tray. John chain-smoked Gauloises, and the interview proceeded. It was obvious from the start that he was still angry at Paul, but when I played the tapes back later, I noticed he did not say anything negative about Paul's music. He attacked Paul for being bossy, arrogant, chauvinistic, etc, but in the next breath he would be telling us about Hamburg and about Paul having to be onstage for an hour and a half playing 'What'd I Say,' and you could hear the affection in his voice.

I have listened to these tapes many times, and I have always been struck by the contradictions within John Lennon. He tended to see the world in terms of black and white, and people were either on his good list or his hit list, and often subject to being switched from one to the other, according to which way the conversation turned. He was always outspoken, yet the charm of John's outspokenness was not only his way with words, but also that he was as critical and candid about himself as others. In the end it was this that made him endearing. He bared his soul about everything -- his insecurities, his mistakes -- and when he did so, even when he appeared ridiculous, he was a breath of fresh air in the entertainment world.

One moment I remember during the interview was when John and Yoko were leaning toward the microphone, each jostling the other to tell the story of how they met and fell in love. No one could have been in their presence for those minutes and not have been affected by it.

Neil Aspinal, the Beatles' longtime friend, said, 'The Beatles' world was an unreal world... a war zone.' It surely was. In a way I think Yoko brought John home. He found comfort, love, and understanding with her. He had a son by her and devoted himself to his child. I have no doubt he was a happier man in 1980 than he was in 1967 when he walked into that London art Gallery. - Peter McCabe (1984)

Q: "Let's talk about the Beatles' breakup, and the falling out between you and Paul. A lot of people think it had to do with the women in your lives. Is that why the Beatles split up?"

JOHN: "Not really. The split was over who would manage us -- Allen Klein or the Eastmans -- and nothing else really, although the split had been coming from Pepper onward."

Q: "Why, specifically?"

JOHN: "Paul was always upset about the White Album. He never liked it because on that one I did my music, he did his, and George did his. And first, he didn't like George having so many tracks. He wanted it to be more a group thing, which really means more Paul. So he never liked that album, and I always preferred it to all the other albums, including Pepper, because I thought the music was better. The Pepper myth is bigger, but the music on the White Album is far superior, I think."

Q: "That's your favorite, of all the Beatle albums?"

JOHN: "Yeah, because I wrote a lot of good shit on that. I like all the stuff I did on that, and the other stuff as well. I like the whole album. But if you're talking about the split, the split was over Allen and Eastman."

Q: "You didn't like Lee Eastman (Linda's father), nor John (Linda's brother), and the Eastmans didn't like Allen Klein..."

JOHN: "The Eastmans hated Allen from way back. They're from the class of family... like all classes, I suppose, they vote like Daddy does. They're the kind of kids who just think what their fathers told them."

Q: "But for a while you didn't get along with Linda."

JOHN: "We all got along well with Linda."

Q: "When did you first meet her?"

JOHN: "The first time was after that Apple press conference in America. We were going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

YOKO: "There was a nice quality about her. As a woman she doesn't offend you because she doesn't come on like a coquettish bird, you know? So she was alright, and we were on very good terms until Allen came into the picture. And then she said, 'Why the hell do you have to bring Allen into it?' She said very nasty things about Allen."

Q: "Yoko, you weren't with John the first time he met her?"

YOKO: "No. The first time I met her was when she came to the EMI studio. And you know, when Beatles are recording, there's very few people around, especially no women. If a young woman comes into the room, everybody just sort of looks at her. So I was there, and the first thing Linda made clear to me -- almost unnecessarily -- was the fact that she was interested in Paul, and not John, you know? She was sort of presupposing that I would be nervous. She just said, 'Oh, I'm with Paul.' Something to that effect. I think she was eager to be with me and John, in the sense that Paul and John are close, we should be close too. And couple to couple we were going to be good friends."

Q: "What was Paul's attitude to you as things progressed?"

YOKO: "Paul began complaining that I was sitting too close to them when they were recording, and that I should be in the background."

JOHN: "Paul was always gently coming up to Yoko and saying, 'Why don't you keep in the background a bit more?' I didn't know what was going on. It was going on behind my back."

Q: "So did that contribute to the split?"

JOHN: "Well, Paul rang me up. He didn't actually tell me he'd split, he said he was putting out an album. He said, 'I'm now doing what you and Yoko were doing last year. I understand what you were doing.' All that shit. So I said, 'Good luck to yer.'"

Q: "So, John. You and Paul were probably the greatest songwriting team in a generation. And you had this huge falling out. Were there always huge differences between you and Paul, or was there a time when you had a lot in common?"

JOHN: "Well, Paul always wanted the home life, you see. He liked it with daddy and the brother... and obviously missed his mother. And his dad was the whole thing. Just simple things. He wouldn't go against his dad and wear drainpipe trousers. And his dad was always trying to get me out of the group behind me back, I found out later. He'd say to George, 'Why don't you get rid of John, he's just a lot of trouble. Cut your hair nice and wear baggy trousers,' like I was the bad influence because I was the eldest. So Paul was always like that. And I was always saying, 'Face up to your dad, tell him to fuck off. He can't hit you. You can kill him (laughs) he's an old man.' I used to say, 'Don't take that shit.' But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, 'I need a steady career.' We couldn't believe it. Once he rang up and said he'd got this job and couldn't come to the group. So I told him on the phone, 'Either come or you're out.' So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me. But it was a long trip."

Q: "So you think with Linda he's found what he wanted?"

JOHN: "I guess so. I guess so. I just don't understand. I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted something intelligent or something arty. But you don't really know what you want until you find it. So anyway, I was very surprised with Linda. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd married Jane because it had been going on for a long time and they went through a whole ordinary love scene. But with Linda it was just like -- boom! She was in and that was the end of it."

Q: "So if the falling out was essentially with Paul, what made you decide not to participate in the Bangladesh concert with George?"

JOHN: "I told George about a week before it that I wouldn't be doing it. I just didn't feel like it. I just didn't want to be fucking rehearsing and doing a big show-biz trip. We were in the Virgin Islands, and I certainly wasn't going to be rehearsing in New York, then going back to the Virgin Islands, then coming back up to New York and singing. And anyway, they couldn't have got any more people in, if I'd been there or not. I got enough money off records and I don't feel like doing two shows a night."

Q: "Do you have any regrets about not doing it?"

JOHN: "Well, at first I thought, 'Oh, I wish I'd been there,' you know, with Dylan and Leon... they needed a rocker. Everybody was telling me 'You should have been there, John,' but I'm glad I didn't do it in a way because I didn't want to go on as 'The Beatles.' And with George and Ringo there it would have had that connotation of Beatles -- Now let's hear Ringo sing 'It Don't Come Easy.' That's why I left it all. I don't want to play 'My Sweet Lord.' I'd as soon go out and do exactly what I want."

Q: "John, you said you 'get enough off records,' but you used to say you weren't as rich as people thought you were. Are you rich enough finally?"

JOHN: "Well, I do have money for the first time ever, really. I do feel slightly secure about it, secure enough to say I'll go on the road for free. The reason I got rich is because I'm so insecure. I couldn't give it all away, even in my most holy, Christian, God-fearing, Hare Krishna period. I need it because I'm so insecure. Yoko doesn't need it. She always had it. I have to have it. I'm not secure enough to give it all up, because I need it to protect me from whatever I'm frightened of."

YOKO: "He's very vulnerable."

JOHN: "But now I think that Allen Klein has made me secure enough, it's his fault that I'll go out for free."

Q: "You mean tour for free?"

JOHN: "Well, I thought I can't really go on the road and take a lot more money. What am I going to do with it? I've got all the fucking bread I need. If I go broke, well, I'd go on the road for money then. But now I just couldn't face saying, 'Well, I cost a million when I sing.'"

YOKO: "It's criminal."

JOHN: "It's bullshit, because I want to sing. So I'm going out on the road because I want to this time. I want to do something political, and radicalize people, and all that jazz. I feel like going out with Yoko, and taking a really far-out show on the road, a mobile, political, rock and roll show."

YOKO: "With clowns as well."

JOHN: "You know what I was thinking -- when Paul's going out on the road, I'd like to be playing in the same town for free next door! And he's charging about a million. That would be funny."

YOKO: "Our position is -- I come from the East, he comes from the West -- a meeting of East and West, and all that. And to communicate with people is almost a responsibility. We actually are living proof of East and West getting along together. High water falls low, you know. And if our cup is full, it's going to flow. It's natural for us to give because we have a lot. If we don't give, it's criminal, in the sense that it's going against the law of nature. In order to go against the law of nature you have to use tremendous energy."

Q: "Let's talk about Allen Klein. He has a reputation as a tough wheeler-dealer in the music business. What made you decide to have him as your manager?"

JOHN: "Well, Allen's human, whereas Eastman and all them other people are automatons. And one of the early things that impressed me about Allen -- and obviously it was a kind of flattery as well -- was that he really knew which stuff I'd written. Not many people knew which was my song and which was Paul's, but he'd say, 'Well, McCartney didn't write that line, did he?' I thought, anybody who knows me this well, just by listening to records, is pretty perceptive. I'm not the easiest guy to read, although I'm fairly naive and open in some ways, and I can be conned easily. But in other ways I'm quite complicated, and it's not easy to get through all the defenses and see what I'm like. Allen knew to come to me and not to go to Paul, whereas somebody like Lew Grade or Eastman would have gone to Paul."

Q: "Did Klein hope to get Paul back into the group?"

JOHN: (laughs) "He came up with this plan. He said, "Just ring Paul and say, 'We're recording next Friday, are you coming?' So it nearly happened. Then Paul would have forfeited his right to split by joining us again. But Paul would never, never do it, for anything, and now I would never do it."

Q: "There was a lot of negative publicity about Klein. Didn't that bother you?"

JOHN: "Well, he's a businessman. He's probably cut many peoples' throats. So have I. I made it too. I mean, I can't remember anybody I literally cut, but I've certainly trod on a few feet on the way up. And I'm sure Allen did also."

Q: "How does Klein compare with Brian Epstein as a manager?"

JOHN: "Well, Brian couldn't delegate, and neither can Allen. But I understand that. When I try and delegate it never gets done properly. Like with my albums and Yoko's, each time I have to go through the same process -- Get the printing size right. I want it clear and simple. I have to go through the same jazz all the time. It's never a lesson learned."

Q: "Let's get back to something we were talking about earlier. The attitude of the other Beatles toward Yoko."

JOHN: "They don't listen to women. Women are chicks to them."

Q: "What about George?"

JOHN: "George always has a point of view about that wide (he holds his hands close together), you know? You can't tell him anything."

YOKO: "George is sophisticated, fashionwise..."

JOHN: "He's very trendy, and he has the right clothes on, and all of that."

YOKO: "But he's not sophisticated, intellectually."

JOHN: "No. He's very narrow-minded. One time in the Apple office I was saying something, and he said, 'I'm as intelligent as you, you know.' This must have been resentment. Of course he's got an inferiority complex from working with Paul and me."

Q: "John, what did you think of Yoko's work when you first saw it?"

JOHN: "Well, her gallery show was a bit of an eye-opener. I wasn't sure what it was all about. I knew there was some sort of con game going on. She calls herself a concept artist, but with the 'cept' left off, it's con artist. I saw that side of it and that was interesting. And then we met."

Q: "Was it love at first sight?"

JOHN: "Well, I always had this dream of meeting an artist woman I would fall in love with. Even from art school. And when we met and were talking I just realized that she knew everything I knew -- and more probably. And it was coming out of a woman's head. It just sort of bowled me over. It was like finding gold or something. To have exactly the same relationship with any male you'd ever had, but also you could go to bed with it, and it could stroke your head when you felt tired or sick or depressed. Could also be Mother. And if the intellect is there... well, it's just like winning the pools. So that's why when people ask me for a precis of my story, I put, 'born, lived, met Yoko.' because that's what it's been about.

"As she was talking to me I would get high, and the discussion would get to such a level that I would be going higher and higher. And when she'd leave, I'd go back into this sort of suburbia. Then I'd meet her again and my head would go off like I was on an acid trip. I'd be going over what she'd said and it was incredible, some of the ideas and the was she was saying them, And then once I got a sniff of it I was hooked. Then I couldn't leave her alone. We couldn't be apart for a minute from then on."

YOKO: "He has this nature, and I'm thankful for it. Most men are so narrow-minded. Somebody once told me, 'You don't make small talk, and that's why men hate you.' I mean, I have so many male enemies who try to stifle me. What the hell."

JOHN: "I did the same, of course. I found myself being a chauvinist pig with her. Then I started thinking, 'Well, if I said that to Paul, or asked Paul to do that, or George, or Ringo, they'd tell me to fuck off.' And then you realize -- you just have this attitude to women that is just insane! It's beyond belief , the way we're brought up to think of women. And I had to keep saying, 'Well, would I tell a guy to do that? Would I say that to a guy? Would a guy take that?' Then I started to get nervous. I thought, 'Fuck, I better treat her right or she's going to go. No friend's going to stick around for this treatment."

Q: Did you know anything about rock music, Yoko, when you first met John?"

YOKO: "I didn't know anything about rock music, or anything like it. I thought of rock songs as something a bit lower than poetry. It was like reading poetry that had a definite rhythm to it."

JOHN: "She used to say, "Why are you doing the same beat all the time?' I used to get very irritated."

Q: "What were your feelings about art and the art world at that time?"

JOHN: "Well, I went to art school and I thought that was the art world, virtually. And they're all such pretentious hypocrites. There was no artist I admired, except for maybe Dali or someone from the past. And when I read the art reviews... I couldn't understand why I wasn't being reviewed for my art, because I always felt like an artist.

"So I went to her show. I was thinking, 'Fucking artist shit. It's all bullshit.' But then there were so many good jokes in it, real good eye-openers."

YOKO: "That's another thing, most artists don't have a sense of humor."

JOHN: "And there was a sense of humor in her work, you know? It was funny. Her work really made me laugh, some of it. So that's when I got interested in art again, just through her work."

YOKO: "All the men I met, I felt they were more pretentious than me, hypocritical, narrower than me, and not genuine. And I'm talented. Because I can compose, I can paint, I can be in many fields. Most men that I met were bragging about their professionalism in one field."

JOHN: "They get one idea and flog it to death, and become famous on one idea."

YOKO: "And fucking conservative, you know? And they talk about women not having a sense of humor. I used to despise every man that I met. I was thinking, 'There's something wrong with me, because everybody hated me for it.' And then I met this man, and for the first time I got the fright of my life because here was a man who was just as genuine, maybe more genuine than me. He's very genuine. And he can do anything I can do, which is very unusual. And I got surprised. And that happened at the first meeting."

JOHN: "It took me a long time to get used to it. Any woman I could shout down. Most of my arguments used to be a question of who could shout the loudest. Normally I could win, whether I was right or wrong, especially if the argument was with a woman -- they'd just give in. But she didn't. She'd go on and on and on, until I understood it. Then I had to treat her with respect."

Q: "Yoko, did you have any idea of what the Beatles' life had been like, on tours for example?"

JOHN: "She was really shocked. I thought the art world was loose, you know? And when I started telling her about what our life was like, she couldn't believe it."

YOKO: "I came from a different generation. I mean, my friends didn't want me to know they smoked pot, you know? So I thought 'Oh, he's an artist. He's probably had two or three affairs.' Then I heard the whole story and I thought, 'My God!'"

JOHN: "She was just like this silly Eastern nun wandering about, thinking it was all spiritual."

YOKO: "He once said to me, 'Well, were you a groupie in the art world?' I said, 'What's a groupie?'"

JOHN: "So I said, 'Just tell me. I don't want to go 'round and fucking Picasso or someone comes up and says, 'Yes, I've had her.'"

YOKO: "And I really didn't know the word 'groupie.'"

JOHN: "So anyway, I'd been dying to tell her about the 'raving' on tour. I just wanted her to know what a scene it was. I thought it was silly not to say it. And of course the people with us were living like fucking emperors when we were locked in our rooms. That's why they cling so much to the past."

Q: "Talking of your entourage, do you resent it that so many people take credit for their contributions to the Beatles?"

JOHN: "Well, there was an article on George Martin in Melody Maker -- he's telling all these stories. He says, well, I showed them how to play feedback, or put tape loops together, or some arbitrary little technical thing... Where is the great talent of George Martin and Derek Taylor, and the legacy of Brian Epstein? Where is their talent?"

YOKO: "It's like my ex-husband saying that he sacrificed his talent for me, or something."

JOHN: "Well, I never had anything against George Martin. I just didn't like all the rumors that he actually was the brains behind the Beatles. I can't stand that."

Q: "Let's talk about Brian Epstein, your first manager. What did you think of him?"

JOHN: " I liked Brian. I had a very close relationship with him for years, like I have with Allen, because I'm not going to have some stranger running the scene, that's all. I was close with Brian, as close as you can get with someone who lives sort of the fag life, and you don't really know what they're doing on the side. But in the group I was closest to him. He had great qualities and was good fun.

"He was a theatrical man rather than a businessman, and with us he was a bit like that. He literally fucking cleaned us up. And there were great fights between him and me, over years and years, of me not wanting to dress up. He and Paul had some kind of collusion... to keep me straight. Because I kept spoiling the image, like the time I beat up a guy at Paul's twenty-first. I nearly killed him, because he insinuated that me and Brian had an affair in Spain. I was out of me mind.

What I think about the Beatles is that even if there had been Paul and John and two other people, we'd never have been the Beatles. It had to take that combination of Paul, John, George and Ringo to make the Beatles. There's no such thing as 'Well, John and Paul wrote all the songs, therefore they contributed more.' because if it hadn't been us we would have got songs from somewhere else. And Brian contributed as much as us in the early days, although we were the talent and he was the hustler."

Q: "So after Brian died you made 'Magical Mystery Tour.' You said Paul was acting as if he were going to take charge of everything?"

JOHN: "Well, I still felt, every now and then, that Brian would come in and say, 'It's time to record,' or 'Time to do this.' And then Paul started doing that -- 'Now we're going to make a movie,' or 'Now we're going to make a record.' And he assumed that if he didn't call us, nobody would ever make a record. Well, it's since shown that we managed quite well to make records on time. I don't have any schedule, I just think, 'Now I'll make it.' But in those days, Paul would say that now he felt like it. And suddenly I'd have to whip out 20 songs. He'd come in with about 20 good songs and say 'We're recording.' And I had to suddenly write a fucking stack of songs. Pepper was like that. Magical Mystery Tour was another. So I hastily did my bits for it and we went out on the road. And Paul did the thing for his album -- the big-timer, auditioning directors."

Q: Let's go back for a minute and talk about all the early influences on the Beatles. What would you say had the greatest effect on the group? Was it Liverpool? The Cavern? Hamburg? Did Hamburg really improve the playing?"

JOHN: "Oh, amazingly. Because before that we'd only been playing bits and pieces, but in Hamburg we had to play for hours and hours on end. Every song lasted 20 minutes and had 20 solos in it. We'd be playing eight or ten hours a night. And that's what improved the playing. Also, the Germans like heavy rock, so you have to keep rocking all the time, and that's how we got stomping. That's how it developed. That made the sound. Because we developed a sound by playing hours and hours and hours together."

Q: "You all must have found yourself playing in some unbelievably bad conditions."

JOHN: "Yeah, but it was still rather thrilling when you went onstage. A little frightening because it wasn't a dancehall, and all these people were sitting down, expecting something. And then they would tell us to 'mak show'. After the first night they said, 'You were terrible. You have to make a show -- Mak show!' So I put my guitar down and I did Gene Vincent all night. You know -- banging and lying on the floor and throwing the mic about and pretending I had a bad leg. They're all doing it now -- lying on the floor and banging the guitar and kicking things and just doing all that jazz.

"Then they moved us to another club, which was larger and where they danced. Paul would be doing 'What'd I Say' for an hour and a half. And these gangsters would come in -- the local mafia. They'd send a crate of champagne onstage... this imitation German champagne, and we had to drink it or they'd kill us. They'd say, 'Drink it and then do What'd I Say.' We'd have to do this other show, whatever time of night. If they came in at five in the morning and we'd been playing for seven hours, they'd give us a crate of champagne and we were supposed to carry on. We'd get pills off the waiters then, to keep awake. That's how all that started.

"I used to be so pissed I'd be lying on the floor behind the piano, drunk, while the rest of the group was playing. I'd just be onstage fast asleep. Some of the shows, I went on just in me underpants. I'd go on in underpants with a toilet seat 'round me neck, and all sorts of gear on. Out of me fucking mind!"

Q: When did you get into acid? Did Paul time his LSD announcement to coincide with the release of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?"

JOHN: "No. We'd had acid on Revolver. Everyone is under this illusion... even George Martin saying 'Pepper was their acid album,' but we'd had acid, including Paul, by the time Revolver was finished."

Q: "So why did he make that big announcement?"

JOHN: "Because the press had cornered him. I don't know how they found out about him taking it. But that was a year after we'd all taken it. Rubber Soul was our pot album, and Revolver was acid. I mean, we weren't all stoned making Rubber Soul because in those days we couldn't work on pot. We never recorded under acid or anything like that. It's like saying, 'Did Dylan Thomas write Under Milk Wood on beer?' What the fuck does that have to do with it? The beer is to prevent the rest of the world from crowding in on him. The drugs are to prevent the rest of the world from crowding in on you. They don't make you write better. I never wrote any better stuff because I was on acid or not on acid."

Q: "Did the fact that Sergeant Pepper inspired so many people to try LSD surprise you?"

JOHN: "Well, I never felt that Haight-Ashbury was a direct result. It always seemed to me that all sorts of things were happening at once. The acid thing in America was going on long before Pepper. Leary was going around saying, 'Take it, take it, take it.' We followed his instruction. I did it just like he said in the Book Of The Dead, and then I wrote Tomorrow Never Knows,' which is on Revolver, and which was almost the first acid song -- 'Lay down all thought, surrender to the void' -- and all that shit. Do you remember if Paul's statement on acid came out after Sergeant Pepper?"

Q: "Just as it was released."

JOHN: "I see. He always times his big announcements right on the letter, doesn't he. Like leaving the Beatles. Maybe it's instinctive. It probably is. Anyway, 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds' is not about LSD. And Henry the Horse is not about smack on Sergeant Pepper, because I'd never even seen it when we made Sergeant Pepper. But those kinds of stories evolved from it -- people thought if you listened to it backwards it said 'Paul is dead.' All that shit is just gobbledygook."

Q: "Still, many who got into acid might never have followed Timothy Leary but did follow the Beatles."

JOHN: "Well, blame it on Dylan. He turned us onto pot."

Q: "Having written so much with Paul, do you think it's possible for there to be some type of settlement, outside of business?"

JOHN: "Well, there's no way for it to be settled 'outside business,' because it all gets down to who owns a bit of what. It's a house we own together, and there's no way of settling it, unless we all decide to live in it together. It has to be sold."

Q: "Have you missed writing songs with him?"

JOHN: "No I haven't. I wrote alone in the early days. We used to write separately. He used to write songs before I even started writing songs. I think he did. And we'd written separately for years. I wrote 'Help.' I wrote 'A Hard Day's Night.' He wrote 'Yesterday.' They'd been separate for years.

"In the early days we'd write together for fun, and later on for convenience to get so many numbers out for an album. But our best songs were always written alone. And things like 'A Day In The Life' was just my song and his song stuck together. I mean we used to sit down and finish off each other's songs. You know, you could have three quarters of a song finished and we'd just sit together, bring ten songs each, and finish off the tail ends, and put middle eights in ones that you couldn't be bothered fixing, because they weren't all that good anyway.

"We usually got together on songs that were less interesting. Now and then we'd write together from scratch. 'I Want To Hold Your Hand,' things like that were done like that. But we'd been working apart ever since we were working together. It was only news to the public that a lot of Lennon-McCartney songs weren't Lennon-McCartney. That was something we'd agreed on years ago."

Q: "Do you think it was a mistake in retrospect to have named everything Lennon-McCartney?"

JOHN: "No, I don't, because it worked very well and it was useful. Then it was useful, so it was quite good fun. I've nothing against it."

Q: "If you got, I don't know what the right phrase is... 'back together' now, what would be the nature of it?"

JOHN: "Well, it's like saying, if you were back in your mother's womb... I don't fucking know. What can I answer? It will never happen, so there's no use contemplating it. Even if I became friends with Paul again, I'd never write with him again. There's no point. I write with Yoko because she's in the same room with me."

YOKO: "And we're living together."

JOHN: "So it's natural. I was living with Paul then, so I wrote with him. It's whoever you're living with. He writes with Linda. He's living with her. It's just natural."

Source: Transcribed by www.beatlesinterviews.org from original magazine issue

#john: where is the great legacy of brian epstein? where is their talent?#john two minutes later: brian contributed as much as us in the early days #i've seen a lot of quotes from this interview going around on tumblr but not the whole thing #tw f slur #john lennon #yoko ono #the beatles #shanty’s posts

13 notes · View notes

fuckingthefictional · 4 years

Text

Shelby’s stick together

A/N: requested by @shady80smusicsingercolor hope you enjoy, sorry it took so long- I’ve been super busy was college work! Xx

Masterlist

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Sister! OC

Warnings: swearing, racist slur used in historical context, super fuckin long.

Olivia Shelby and Linda Shelby did not get on. Plain and simple.

They didn’t get on one bit.

Liv maintained that Linda had barged her way into the family and had forcibly changed Arthur into someone he quite simply was not.

Linda however maintained that Liv was just being bratty and selfish and that she was hogging her brothers all to herself and never wanted them to be happy.

Which was wildly untrue. After all Esme was Liv’s other sister in law and Olivia got on like a house on fire with her.

When they had first met they had only slightly clashed, it wasn’t a big deal.

Arthur strolled up the blackened streets of Small Heath, Linda grasped onto his arm out of what must’ve been fear or anxiety.

To Arthur however he owned the space, people feared him and this place was his home.

He had no issue with the workers or the fire fuelled factories, or the children running barefoot in the streets together- it was as normal as could be, even the whores that littered the corners didn’t cause him to bat an eye.

This was Small Heath. His safe haven.

Linda however was tense on his arm, her eyes shooting around frantically.

It was clear she was afraid of meeting the one and only Olivia Shelby.

Everyone else had been civil to Linda (for Arthur’s sake) but Olivia was another story.

Polly claimed that Olivia had the Gypsy blessing of judgement.

Or being able to tell what a person was truly like- or what their true thoughts were at first glance.

Making Olivia unpredictable in her reactions.

And that was where they first disagreed, The Shelby’s called this power a ‘gift’ or a ‘blessing’, Linda called it Witchcraft and blasphemy in the highest.

Unfortunately it didn’t take long for Arthur to locate where his youngest sibling was (thanks to Jeremiah)

She was down by the cut with Isaiah (which was unsurprising considering the two of them flirted back and forth continuously)

It wasn’t long before the eldest Shelby heard the giggles of Olivia, and the chattering of Isaiah.

“Now what are you two doing out here alone?” Arthur boomed teasingly, purposefully trying to frighten the teens.

“Shit!” Olivia jumped, tumbling backwards and landing with a splash in the river, “Arthur you fucker!”

Linda flinched at the language being used as the other boys laughed heartily and dragged Liv out of the murky depths.

“Liv, this is Linda.” Arthur gestured to the woman stood awkwardly on the bank, “My fiancé.”

Olivia took the woman in, she didn’t like the judgement that lay in her eyes. The slight frown that she tried to keep hidden suggested that she had negative ideas of Olivia already.

Liv was clear on one thing- she didn’t trust Linda one bit.

It was frustrating to Liv. She had always been feisty (courtesy of the Shelby genes and the Gypsy blood running through her veins) but when this ‘good Christian woman’ was around she couldn’t help but make snarky comments.

But that didn’t mean Linda couldn’t hit back with harsher, nastier comments.

The needle that broke the horses back occurred the day before- resulting in Olivia to purchase a train ticket to London to stay with Ada for a while.

She was desperate to get away. The comments coming from her sister in law were enough to beat her down day after day. Liv was certain that Tommy had noticed a difference in her, after all she was closest with him.

All Olivia did yesterday was glare slightly at her sister in law, and in return got a mouthful of insults from the devil blonde.

It hurt, it was embarrassing, and even worse it had hit a sore spot in her heart.

Because Linda had mentioned the Shelby’s mother- more specifically how Olivia was the cause of her own mothers death. How it was all her fault.

That one hit close to home.

And now here Liv was, sat on a train that was heading to London. A train that her family (minus Ada) had no idea she was on.

Tommy was stood at his sisters bedroom door, his fist pounded insistently at the slab of wood.

Every knock that he made were all answered by silence. It made him feel anxious- Liv always answered the door to him. Always.

“Liv?” He presses his ear against the door, “Liv let me in please?”

Tommy twisted the knob again, but the cool metal was still locked against the latch.

If there was one thing that Tommy prided himself on, it was being patient with his youngest sister.

Sure, he was protective of Ada and they got on- but they had never seen eye to eye on most things.

Olivia, however was Tommy’s soft spot. Ever since she was tiny, she’d been able to melt his heart. He’d learnt to be patient for Liv, and he’d continued to do so.

But considering Tommy had been knocking for a good 15 minutes to no response, his worry began to erode at his patience.

Weighing his options, Tommy quickly decided on attacking the door one last time...with a strong kick.

The door cracked and flew off the hinges, leaving splinters littered across the floor.

Only one thing was apparent to Tommy however, the room was empty.

The wardrobe was cleaned out and Liv’s one and only stuffed animal which she slept with was nowhere to be seen.

Tommy’s heart was thumping out of his chest painfully. Olivia wouldn’t just...leave.

Unless she felt as if she was a intruder in her own family or was being pushed away.

He felt his feet thump on the floor, a sign that Tommy was in fact walking away from the room. Moments later he found himself in the betting den.

Esme, Linda and Lizzie were sat at their desks chatting away- as John, Arthur and Polly were crowded around one of the many finance books out of Tommy’s office.

Nobody had seemingly noticed his presence- until he spoke loudly.

“Would anyone care to tell me why the fuck Olivia’s room’s fuckin’ empty and her shit‘s gone.”

Everyone’s head turned sharply at this. Esme, John, Arthur and Polly paced forward- clamouring in confusion and fear.

The only person who was sat still and unbothered was the small figured blonde who perched on her chair, a smug expression painting her lips.

Kings cross station was always busy- it didn’t matter what time you arrived. It was always crowded.

So it was a blessing in disguise that Olivia Shelby was short in stature and could slip through small gaps in the crowds.

Liv didn’t have a plan if she was being honest. She had enough money for a taxi- maybe a hotel room if Ada wasn’t home.

With these new thoughts in her mind, Liv picked up her pace and rushed to the street outside.

It may have been just past 11 o’clock in the morning, when the taxi dropped her off at the street corner where Ada’s home was located.

Olivia, tired and mentally drained, ambled to the front door. She rung the doorbell, waiting as she heard the excited screeches coming from Karl on the other side.

Seconds later, Ada’s face appeared as the door swung open- immediately Liv embraced her older sister, trying to find some comfort.

She was upset and just wanted some peace and time away from the hurtful comments.

When evening fell and the sun crept beyond the horizon, Olivia was awoken from her slumber by the sound of the front door being opened and heavy, rushed footfalls running up the stairs.

Liv could feel her heart rate spike in fear, as she hid under the covers like a young child.

“Livvy?”

It was Tommy, immediately she came out from the linen sheets, and stared at her brother who came forward and embraced her in a tight hug.

“Thank God you’re okay,” he mumbled into her shoulder, “I thought something bad had happened to you.”

“I’m okay.” Liv whispered back, although it sounded like she was trying to convince herself as she spoke.

Tommy broke the embrace, as he cupped her face in his hands- searching her eyes for truth.

The moment she looked into her older brothers calculating gaze, Liv just found herself breaking down into floods of tears.

The older man perched on his little sisters temporary bed, scooping her up like she weighed nothing and cradling her in his lap- like he did when Liv was little.

Tommy continued to rock his sister comfortingly, it pained him to see someone he loved so much this upset.

Finally the question arose, “Livvy, What’s got you in such a state?” He asked unsure of the response he’d get.

Olivia took a deep, shuddering breath before responding, “Linda, we’ve been arguing for a few months now. I don’t trust her and she doesn’t respect me. I hit her with snarky comments and she hits me back with ones that hurt twice as much.”

Tommy nodded along, it was obvious the two girls didn’t get on. But Olivia just grit her teeth and bared it for Arthur’s sake.

“And for months she’s been saying this horrible stuff, ‘you’re ugly’, ‘you have witches teeth’, ‘freckles make you look like you’re permanently ill’, ‘it’s not surprising that the only boy who’s attracted to you is a negro’, and then yesterday she told me it was my fault that Mother died- that I killed her.” Olivia cried, tears breaking again, “And I hate myself Tommy, I’m unlovable- it should have been me that died not Mum.”

“No.” Tommy said firmly, “Don’t you ever say that- never say it again. You are my little sister, my little gypsy princess.” He stared at his young sister, “You are kind, brave, smart, loving and beautiful an’ Isaiah is lucky to have someone like you to love.”

At this point Olivia had tucked herself into the crook of his neck, almost as if she was hiding from the truthfulness in his words.

“An’ most importantly, you were not the cause of our Mothers death. You and Finn had no part to play- she was sick Liv, if she hadn’t of died when you were born then she would’ve died a day later.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you Tom.” Liv said in a apologetic tone, “And making you drive to London in a panic.”

“I’d do anything for you Livvy, you know that,” Tommy replied, hugging her tighter and kissing her forehead, “You’re a Shelby- and if that’s not enough for Linda then she can kiss goodbye to our family and Y’know why?”

Olivia smiled, “Because us Shelby’s stick together.”

#peaky blinders #peaky fookin blinders #peakyblinders #thomas shelby x oc #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #sister!reader #sister!oc #tommy shelby x sister!reader #thomas shelby x sister! reader #thomas shelby x sister!oc #tommy shelby x sister!oc #cillian murphy #request

297 notes · View notes

kpopwrites · 4 years

Text

Drowning in A Dream Chapter 6

A/N: It’s here! LMK what you guys think of this one. It’s a little more angsty, but it had to happen at some point!

TW: Possible smut in upcoming chapters, angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, slight gore

You couldn’t believe this. How could you? You just happened to be saved by the ghosts of the same 7 men who haunted young children's nightmares? The most infamous town legends? You looked down at the paper article again, hands shaking as your eyes scanned over the only known picture of the men. It was them alright. They looked the same, for the most part, just… Happier, filled with life. “Richard, are you sure this is the correct picture?” You ask shakily, looking up at your boss as he carefully framed the documents. “Of course, look at the date, the headline. It’s them alright, why do you ask?” He didn’t even look up from his work. “I… Nothing. I was just making sure.” You whisper, clasping a hand over your mouth. What was going on? Had you finally lost it? Did you die when you jumped? Was this hell? “Jesus kid, you look sick.” Richard walked over to you, concerned for your well being.

“Do you need to go home? I’ll have Sean take over for you.” You shook your head quickly. “What do you need, kid? You know I’ll do anything.” Richard had always been a family friend, someone your grandmother kept close her whole life. He was like a father or uncle to you, offering you a job and money when you needed it most. “Would it be possible to borrow your four wheeler tomorrow after work?” You ask, looking up at him. You had to see for yourself, had to see if you were losing it. As if reading your mind, Richard looked over at the newspaper clipping. “You saw something, didn’t you?” He asked, placing a hand on your shoulder slowly.

“N-no… I just left something in the woods the other day, I want to go get it without having to do that hellish walk again.” You joke weakly, gulping. Richard clearly didn’t believe you, but he nodded anyway. “You can take it tonight, in case it rains and whatever you left gets ruined. Finish up this project and then head off. Take the walkie with, in case you need help.” With that, Richard walked away, pulling his cell phone out and making a call. You quickly finished framing your section before snapping a picture of the clipping, wanting to make sure. You snatched the walkie and keys from Richard’s desk and took off, climbing onto the four wheeler and placing the helmet on your head.

The journey back to the cabin was long, even on a four wheeler. The cabin was pitch black inside, much more rustic and dingy looking than you remembered. The rocking chair on the front porch held Namjoon, sitting calmly as he read from his book. “(Y/N), back so soon?” He asked, not looking up. “You’re real? But, you can’t be.” Your voice was shaky and panicked as you looked at him. This caused Namjoon to look up, smirking. “I assure you dear, I am very real. I’m assuming you found out?” Lightning flashed ahead, and for that split second, you could see a pale, bloodied Namjoon before he returned to normal. You let out a scream, backing up quickly.

“You’re dead! You’re dead, I’ve lost it. Oh god, oh god I’ve lost it.” Tears of fear fell from your eyes as you paced around the yard nervously. You looked up at Namjoon again, growing frustrated when you saw how calm he was. “How are you here?!” You scream, thunder booming behind you. Namjoon’s calm facade broke as he looked up at the sky. “You need to calm down. I can explain everything, but you need to calm down before you tear down the city.” Anger flushed through your body as the storm got worse and worse. “Do not tell me to calm down!” You snarl dangerously, storming up to the tall man. “I just found out I’ve gone insane and started imagining the ghosts of seven dead guys.” Namjoon laughed as your smacked his chest over and over. He grabbed your hands, ignoring the rain falling heavily from the sky as he looked you in the eyes.

“If I wasn’t real, would I be able to hold you like this?” He whispered, face mere inches from yours. “If you’d stop with your temper tantrum and come inside, I could explain to you everything.” He let your hands go roughly before turning around and walking inside. You whimpered, following slowly behind. It felt like a bunny walking into a wolves den. The other six men were all sat in the main room, staring at you with blank faces. Even Jimin and Jin, who you were so used to see smiling, stared at you with little emotion on their faces. “Take a seat.” Namjoon instructed, pushing you down into an armchair by the fireplace. “So obedient.” Jimin hummed, a flash of lust in his eyes before Yoongi slapped his head.

“You’re all dead…” You whisper, feeling any and all fight drain from your being. “Yes. We are.” Namjoon hummed. “Sort of. Yes, we did die so many years ago, just as your little story said, but there was more to it than what people say.” Yoongi added. “When this town was first settled, it was founded by a man and a woman, husband and wife. The man was a strong Christian, loved God and placed it upon himself to say what was wrong and right in the village. His wife, however, was a witch, the head witch of a coven, in fact. That woman’s name was Emily (Y/L/N).” Namjoon handed you a book, opening it to the first page. There was a small painting of a family, a mother, a father, and three children. He pointed at the woman. “Her husband, Clyde, found out she was a witch, he freaked out, banishing her from the village as well as all of the other women, just in case. Even the young children.”

Sympathy flooded your being for the poor woman. “Was she practicing the dark stuff?” You asked, looking up at Namjoon. He shook his head. “No. Not at first. When her husband kicked her from the village, she wanted revenge. It was their magic that was helping crops grow. And it wasn’t only women who practiced magic. There were men in the coven who would sneak food out to the banished group, keep them healthy.” You sniffled. “What does this have to do with you?” You ask, looking at the group. Jungkook rolled his eyes. “So impatient.” He grumbled. “Emily wanted revenge, so she signed her soul away to the devil in exchange for his seven nastiest demons. She released the sins onto the village, letting each demon take the lives of any adult male who wasn’t in the coven. After that, she released the sins, letting them roam the forest.”

You began to realize what he was going to say next. “The sins plagued the forest, so when you guys came, they…. Took over you, didn’t they?” You asked, meeting Namjoon’s eyes. He smiled and nodded, adding another log to the fire. “Yes. We were once seven innocent immigrants. However, the forest changed us. Wrath chose Jungkook, causing him to kill all of us. The other sins saved us, each inhabiting our bodies.” You tensed in fear. “You’re demons, holding the bodies of seven dead men.”

You could hear one of the men snicker in amusement. “No. Think of it as what your people call a superhero. We gained eternal life and powers and traits in exchange for our humanity.” Namjoon explained. “So… All the missing hikers, all the bodies found, you were responsible.” You whispered in horror. Namjoon shrugged. “Yes. We are. Some of us kill for fun, others only when necessary.” Thinking quickly, you grabbed the iron fire poker, holding it against Namjoons throat. “I don’t plan on dying today.” The iron seered into his flesh, causing Namjoon to hiss in pain, his eyes turning black. The others stood up quickly, ready to defend their brother. “Iron. Smart. Someone knows how to defend themselves.” Namjoon growled out. “We aren’t going to hurt you (Y/N).” Taehyung said, his hands up as he tried to calm you down.

“If we were to kill you, I would have done so when you let me do your makeup.” Jin said. Your eyes widen with horror. “You are the one who cuts up peoples face, leaves them horribly disfigured…” You whisper, whimpering as fear fills your body. Jin smirked proudly. “I couldn’t let them remain as attractive as they were. I am the most handsome, simple as that. I couldn’t bear even the thought of doing it to you. I had full intentions, but something stopped me.” Taehyung piped up. “V would have eaten you in a moment if you weren’t special. We all want to protect you.” You scoffed, pressing the iron deeper into Namjoon’s neck.

“Why should I believe you, hm?” You glare weakly, trying to make sure your courage was intact. “What makes me so different from any of the others you murdered?” Namjoon struggled against the iron, trying to get away. “Because you’re her reincarnation. You may not look like her, but (Y/N), each human is reborn. Sometimes as human, or animal, male, female, or anything in between. Each person has been thousands of beings, and you are Emily. You hold her powers. When she summoned our sins, part of each of them attached to her. When she died, she wasn’t reborn as a human for a long time, until you.” Yoongi explained, causing you to slowly release pressure on Namjoon.

“Your grandmother knew. She took you in, you and your brothers, saved you from people who would harm you and kept you safe.” Namjoon added. “How do you know all this, hm?” You asked, letting Namjoon go, but keeping the iron poker in front of you. “It’s been a legend for a long time. The mortal who would have Hell’s strongest demon’s under their command, willing to die for them.” Jimin piped up, wincing at the sight of Namjoon’s burned neck. “What do you mean? Why would you guys be so attached to me, huh?” You ask, the poker lowering as you grew more confused.

“To put it simply (Y/N), you are ours, and we are yours. I believe people call them soulmates nowadays.” Namjoon spoke, holding his neck as he looked into your eyes. “We will do whatever you ask, and if anyone hurts you, they have the wrath of seven of Hell’s princes to deal with.”

Taglist for Drowning in a Dream @jennyjq @boy9wolf @slutkoo @flakeypancake @leftflowerprunedonut @vickylamore @elenaramos1 @trinityautumn @blackgirlutopia @viralsoftspot @qween-of-trash

39 notes · View notes

marzeline · 4 years

Text

So i heard y’all like religious symbolism in She Ra, so i decided to offer my own knowledge from 17 years spent in a very strict Orthodox household.

I’m gonna talk particularly about one specific moment in “Save the Cat” because I haven’t seen anyone pointing it out before.

When I was first watching this episode, devastated and overwhelmed by emotions, I still felt a bit of a... déjà vu? I have definitely seen these images before, but where? And then it hit me.

Everywhere. I have seen these scenes all my life. Glorified them even. Let me give you a little bit of context...

My family (and my country predominantly) is part of the Christian Eastern-Orthodox Church. The western world is not that familiar with this specific part of the church, but it’s basically presented as Christianity as it was preached in the beginning. In 1054, the East-West Schism happened, when the institution of the Church and Religion as a whole split into the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches. It happened from various reasons like changes in the doctrine and political reasons but I will not go into details here.

Since their departure, the Catholic and Orthodox Church developed even more differences - one of them being the decoration of the church.

While Catholics use mainly statues and mosaic, Orthodox practice allows the use of only icons (there is no exact term in English from what I have found, but think Icoană in Romanian or Икона in Russian), which are basically pictures.

And you have probably seen pictures or icoane as well - here is an widely used image in the western world of Jesus Christ

The images that you’re used to seeing have realistic details, but this isn’t what I’m used to seeing. Because in the Eastern Church, we use the byzantine style of art (Greek), the one used in the old times. The artist’s goal isn’t to portray the characters and scenes realistically, but to have a symbolic sketch that dehumanizes them (ig you won’t look at an icon and fall in love with the face, you won’t be distracted by earthly things).

With this out of the way, let me show you what I meant when I said I have seen those scenes before. There are 3 of them, the last one being the most important, and while you can find so many other icons, these are the few that I have selected:

Now here me out: Jesus is Great. My views on religion have changed a lot, but I still think Jesus was the greatest man to ever live. His lessons were revolutionary at the time, and his teachings are still passed on.

In Orthodox traditions, we believe God has three personas that are different and independent, but one in God: The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. The Church is raising you as a family, with the priest addressing the community as “brothers and sisters (in Christ)” and we pray to our divine Father.

Now let me tell you why I have selected these specific icons: The Baptize of Christ, Jesus saving Adam from Eternal Damnation, The Apostle and Jesus AND the last one that I’m gonna talk about a little bit later.

In scene one, we see Catra coming with the clones. Her hair is wet and later we find out that she has been “purified”. When undergoing this same process, Horde Prime told Hordak that his fault was his pride: how dare he think he is worthy to stand besides Horde Prime, Hordak was a mere clone created “in his image”

“So God created man in His own image” Genesis 1:27

Hordak forgotten who he is. He shall be reminded.

The Orthodox Church has 7 great rituals, but the most important ones are considered the Baptize, the Eucharist and The Ceremony that you undergo at Death.

Let’s talk about the Baptize because they look wildly similar to me. We believe that everyone is born carrying the original sin - that’s why it doesn’t matter how good of the person you were during your life, you go to Hell. But when Jesus came to Earth, He taught us how to be baptized in the name of the Lord. The process of The Baptize reclaims you as one of Lord’s sheeps and saves your soul (doesn’t guarantee you’re going to Heaven either; just opens the possibility). It purifies you of the original sin and makes you reborn, ready to join the big family that is the Church. Sounds familiar?

The Symbol of the Baptize is easy to spot, definetly out there for a reason, a scary, twisting interpretation of a ritual that is viewed as sacred by the community.

Catra kneels 2 times in front of Horde Prime. The second time she does it in Adoration at HP’s altar, when she is brought for Adora to see (see the first image), but the first time she does it when she is brought defiant after helping Glimmer escape. That’s the moment of her Judgement.

In the second image, Prime is holding her hand and Catra lovingly accepts it while being raised from the ground. It’s sickening to see because you know the character, you know her desires and history and holding HP’s hand while being embraced by him doesn’t really hit her persona.

Now let’s look at this in detail again

Here is the moment when Jesus, dead, is lowering to Hell (like I said, before Jesus, no one could go to Heaven) to save the worthy ones (like Abraham and David and Adam - the first man, the one that lived almost 1000 years). Yes, Adam sinned in the Eden, but in the Bible we’re being told that he had lived a righteous life overall. Adam was a good man and he deserved to go to Heaven after he died. But he didn’t, so Jesus could come and free him. He raises him from Hell and saves him. Heaven is now opened for Adam. HP is doing the same for Catra here.

And last, but certainly not least, we have the third image. I have rewatched this episode so many times since its release and I always, always stop at that scene with my blood frozen in my veins. The resemblance it’s terrifying. That frame alone, shows you every Christian’s biggest dream. Jesus and the Apostle. You being saved. God accepting you. Loving you even. It doesn’t matter how much you love God, He always loves you more. How could you not stare in adoration? All your adoration will never be enough for He is just That Great.

Catra does it, the clones do it, and we do it as well - we’re content being in His Graces. I don’t think I will ever be able to explain how much that scene scares me. Because we, as the audience, know that is wrong. That is not Catra. She’s so many people’s favorite character for a reason! She’s obnoxious and loud and mischievous and disrespectful and cunning and fast and mean but caring and she loves Adora! We know that and we expect to see that every time she’s on the screen. Seeing the complete opposite of her... is wrong.

“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

The last icon: the one where Jesus greets the kids into his arms and promises them heaven and peace. That is how the clones and the ones being chipped are looking at HP. This is what they think they will find under his protection. Spinerella always mentions how happy they are under his rule and Catra?

“My place is with Horde Prime, I don’t want to leave”

“Prime has given me peace. Something you could never do.”

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have access by faith into his grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:1-2

I’m gonna tell you from my own experience: I came out as bisexual to my mother (who is definitely the most religious person you’re ever gonna meet) at 13. She wasn’t mad. She tried to deny it but I stopped her cold. You know what she said? I will pray for you. Everyone has their own stuggles and the devil tempts us in many ways. You’ll have to fight these urges all your life and never act on them, but you’ll be rewarded. You will find peace in God.

For my mother, God is the giver of peace and my attraction to the same gender is what actually troubles me. My struggle is because of my sins.

I’m sure that conversation remained forgotten in her memory, but I will never be able to forget it. For the Church (Horde Prime here representing organized religion) homosexuals are sad, confused and unhappy - because they don’t know the peace of the Lord. No one can be happy, if not in the light of Horde Prime God.

I don’t know if there is ever gonna be a time in my life when that scene won’t terrify me. It’s reminding me of everything that I was for others, for everything that I thought I wanted for myself. At 14 I would wake up praying to be killed just so I can die in God’s light before sinning. Catra is also a victim of abuse, and you could never never never understand what is that about unless you have experienced it first hand. In the episode she is being mind-controlled, not far from others have experienced due to indoctrination. But to be so codependent, to Adora first (and probably always - that’s just how childhood trauma works) Shadow Weaver and then to HP?

This breaks my heart in so many places, but it also gives me hope. You can still get the chip out. You can still open your eyes. And you can still love! There is no fear in love.

24 notes · View notes

vagisil · 3 years

Text

The Rise of Fundamentalism Through Romantic Literature

Modern fundamentalism includes an array of ideas from the teachings of Bill Gothard and the Quiverfull movement to the multiple sects of The Church of Latter Day Saints, the various fundamentalist churches that pop up from time to time and many others. While these ministries do have somewhat different takes on Christian doctrine, the one thing that will always be shared among these groups is the idea that the modern society is headed towards a dangerous faith. Where most other extremist movements would have died off just as quickly as they were made, fundamentalism has stayed around for centuries no matter how advance the outside world became. My theory is that the reason fundamentalism remains a strong part of American society is because of the historical movements that back it, one of these movements being the romantic era of American literature. The romantic literature movement, better known as Romanticism, was a defining part of American society specifically academia and the arts. Created as a contrast to the growing social-political norms of the current culture around science and industrialization. The romantics strived to bring back the principles they’d deemed necessary to life such as emotion, spirituality, and individualism. Many of the early works of this movement criticized and flat out rejected scientific thought as a whole, believing it to be the destroyer of creativity and free thinking along with turning society to the worst through increasing the standard of secular living. This emphasis on science being the reason behind traditions being put aside, the multiple displays of the scientific taking over religious values in romantic literature along with the popularity Romanticism had, made it possible for more who agreed with the dangers of straying away from convention to continue the revolt against this new wave of enlighten secularism. Taking this opportunity the romantics opened up for them.

Before the mid 18th century the Age of Enlightment was at its peak. At this time the culture was focused on bureaucracy, industrialization, and secularism. The head of these conventions changing everything from old to new was science. Science is seen as the bringer of all evil. The thing that was separating people from the beauty of the world in favor of scientific discoveries. That the practicality of living in a city, working an industrial job and leaving behind traditional core values, were brought on because of science. The Romantics saw and lived the potential harm this kind of thinking could and did come to later on in time. They saw how the lifestyle of living in a city made one disconnected from nature and therefore the world. How one’s relation to practicality and seriousness made them disconnected from their self. This inspired many to go against the grain and make work that not only expressed the issues they had with the rise of enlightenment but also encourage others to see through the ruse too. In much of the literature during the romantic era science is explained to be the enemy. Ralph Waldo Emerson, a fame writer of the romantic era, writes in his essays “The Poet” and “Self Reliance” how the culture of this time did more negative than good, and how it was better to go against what is the norm when it is not what’s best. Emerson touches on how the enlighten aristocrats do not know what is best for the world, comparing them to fools who are unable to see the true essence of the world around them. That we as individuals would be much better off not following in their footsteps. In “Self-Reliance” Emerson states “To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart, is true for all men – that is genius…. that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse..” (Emerson, 236-237) and in The Poet he says “…if you inquire whether they are beautiful souls…you learn that they are selfish and sensual… It is proof of the shallowness of the doctrine of beauty, as it lies in the minds of our amateurs.” (Emerson, 254) Where Emerson was subtle in his criticisms of this new wave of thought others were not. Edgar Allen Poe, another acclaim romantic, describes in his poem Sonnet - to Science how the character of science is the direct cause of this ruining of the creative and spiritual soul. In one line Poe outright displays science to being a predator while “the poet” is its prey, stating “Science!...Why preyest thou thus upon the poet’s heart, Vulture, whose wings are dull realities?” (Poe, lines 1-4) As time went on and Romanticism became to be at its peak this anti-science rhetoric spread. Many people agreed that this push towards innovation and modernity was bad for society. Specially the group that was the strongest on the idea of revolting against invasive secularism were the fundamentalist Christians of the 19th century.

In Romanticism’s prime years a smaller new movement, the Fundamentalists, had come along. This movement had similar concerns for the culture, they too thought that the trajectory of modernization would lead the public astray of its values, that this kind of environment was corrupting to the mind, body and soul and that lessening the importance of religion was unhealthy overall. The popularity and scale of Romanticism grew to become a huge inspiration to others who felt similar about the new ways of the world. They saw how Romanticism took off and figured not only could they do the same but that they could do it better. However, before completely detaching from the romantics they also learned a lot from their endeavors. Romanticism and Fundamentalism have a shared commonality on needing to save the current culture from falling into ruins by the hands of the secular scientific elite. Where in Romanticism science pushes people further away from creativity, for fundamentalist science pushes people away from God. Rather intentional or not, the romantics made it a point to portray secularism as dangerous. Insisting the public worry about what they thought would come of it in the future. Although, for the most part it was probably more intended as an analogy of how new conventions destroy the older ideas. Fundamentalist are known for their very strict and literal interpretations of the world, therefore whatever written down on paper is what they take away from reading the romantics works. A clear example of this is the story of “Young Goodman Brown” written by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Young Goodman Brown tells the story of a man leaving the familiarity of his home to explore uncertainty. The symbolism of this tale criticizes one’s choice of venturing the unknown and daring to question faith. In relation to the romantics and their plight this story represents on a deeper level how although intriguing at first, the call for enlightment will lead to destruction. This story also however heavily parallels the fears of the average protestant of these times and modern. Young Goodman Brown’s life was never the same after his encounters in the woods. Due to him, quite literally, leaving his faith his entire course of life was altered permanently. This directly follows the structure of the “Umbrella of Protection” in fundamentalism. The Umbrella of Protection is a model of how one should live their life formulated by three umbrellas. The first one being the largest representing God. The second, positioned directly under the first to represent the man of the household. Along with labels of the things he is meant to do like protecting the family and providing. The last umbrella being the smallest representing the woman of the house, with her purpose being to manage the house and children. Followers of this mindset believe that if we as people don’t act according to our roles in this life structure, if we step outside of this bubble of protection dangers will come our way. Young Goodman Brown stepped out of his umbrella and because of that the foundation of his life and spirit were forever broken. In this way Romanticism is portraying secularism much like one would portray a villain in a horror movie. Making it clear to the audience that secularism is the bad guy.

Fundamentalism has now grown to be a phenomenon in America, lasting for as long as two centuries. While Romanticism faded into textbook obscurity, Fundamentalism has kept the romantics anti-secularism roots strong. In the 1850s towards the end of romanticism’s peak and at the start of Realism, the overall culture was beginning to change again. Artists and academics were shifting to a more realistic perspective of the world wanting nothing to do with the un-natural or supernatural. Although this meant the days of romanticism were over this did not mean the values put in place were leaving too. As romantic ideology spread with time, many were taking more and more liberal, and most importantly less literal, takes on the notion of secularism in society and what it would mean for the greater good. So much like true fundamentalist fashion, they separated themselves from the romantics and created their own groups. Unlike the romantics however these groups were purely focused on religious aspects of the cultural criticism. Their goals were to make it known to the public how harmful secularism really was. Some of the earlier fundamentalist began their careers as soap box preachers, promoting the previously mentioned belief of disturbance in your life if you break away from religious teachings in favor of secularism. Highly influenced by the romantics, people flocked to this kind of thinking. These groups of Protestants and Catholics arose with time, becoming popular American attractions for some period of time as well. While no longer associating themselves with the romantics now believing them to have falling into the category of liberal theology, the romantics still are a large part of why this movement of radical Christians exist today. Walter E. Houghton mentions in his book The Victorian Frame of Mind, 1830-1970 that the romantics paved the way for individualism that went against temporal thought. His text states “Romanticism, also encouraged emphasis on process rather than on fixed or static truth.” (Houghton, 29-31) Referencing not only the Intelligent Design argument but also both parties’ stances on how to view the world.

Fundamentalism as it is today in America would not be if it was not for the work of the Romantics. Romantic ideology’s emphasis on rejecting modernity and uplifting individualism based around your core beliefs help raise a new generation of extremists in Christian sects. Popularized by influential authors of the time period, separating oneself from science became normalized. Allowing for easier indoctrination into religious groups, soon after the rise of early fundamentalism growing in America. Due to the usages of religious themes as allegories and other literary devices combined with the message of the stories it is no wonder the fundamentalist were drawn to these tales. Much like the origins of Romanticism, the ideology of sticking to the fundamentals of tradition is just as popular now in the modern world as it was back then; Proving how much impact Romanticism had within our culture.

#essays

1 note · View note

kissfaeries · 4 years

Note

Hi irene, I am the Christian bisexual woman who sent you an ask before. Thank you so much for responding to my ask and being so kind. So I am still not entirely convinced and the more I talk to my friends or watch Christian videos the more I feel like they are right. Someone showed me a study that showed that bi women and lesbians are more likely to develop breast cancer and that they are more likely to be dangerously overweight. And bi and gay men are more likely to have aids or HIVs +

+ so that mean that's gay sex is dangerous. Also, Lgbt people are more likely to be suicidal. Also some of my friends say that if we start accepting homosexuality we will also start accepting pedophilia and incest. (eventhough I think that's wrong because in the past homosexuality was condemned while pedophilia and incest were accepted, so it's actually that the more we develop the more we accept homosexuality and condemned pedophilia and incest). I feel like my beliefs are easily shaken +

+ like I could be coming to terms with my sexuality but then I come across a homophobic post or talk to a friend and I am back where I started. I am really scared I will waste my life hating myself but I am also scared that my church,family and friends are right. And that I am being brainwashed or whatever eventhough I know it's not true I am just really scared. +

I feel confused and no matter I always feel like it's the wrong choice. Anyhow, thank you so much for responding. I hope this was not overbearing or annoying.🧡🧡🧡

Thank you for coming to me, i hope i can help you! First, i would like to see the study that claims lesbians & bi women are more likely to develop breast cancer, bc it feels to me that it is a highly unscientific claim. There’s no correlation between sexual orientation and the probability of cancer development... it seems to me that it’s more of a homophobic conspiracy theory meant to scare young les/bi women like you. Same with being overweight, how does sexuality have anything to do with being dangerously overweight? When it’s either a genetic condition or something that occurs due to an unhealthy diet? Sexuality is not a factor here.

Secondly, it’s not true that gay/bi men are more likely to have AIDS. “Worldwide, more than 80 percent of all adult HIV infections have resulted from heterosexual intercourse.” Source: https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/news/168/hiv-aids-statistics

That’s something homophobes are obsessed about bc they think it proves homosexuality is deviant and evil, but it’s just a misconception that resulted from the high number of gay victims from the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. And the reason why so many gay/bi men died in that crisis was bc there was no information regarding protection in gay sex, AND the government refused to find a cure for AIDS at the beginning as it mostly affected gay men, so they saw it as “God punishing gay men and cleansing America of homosexuality”. When it started to affect straight people too, that’s when they got serious about it. Besides, gay & bi men having AIDS is not proof that “gay sex is more dangerous”. Gay sex is not more or less dangerous than straight sex, it simply depends on whether or not you’re using protection. If you don’t use it, you’re more likely to get sexually transmitted diseases.

Thirdly, it’s correct that LGB people are more likely to be suicidal than straight people: “LGB youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost 3 times the rate of heterosexual youth. LGB youth are almost 5 times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth.” Source: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/ But how is this LGB people’s fault? How is this proof that being LGB is wrong? In any case, it proves that HOMOPHOBIA is wrong, as it pushes LGB people to kill themselves instead of accepting their true selves: “LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection. Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average.” Source: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/ so as you can see, it’s not the fact that they’re same-sex attracted that causes them to be more suicidal... Homophobia is the reason LGB ppl are more suicidal. Homophobia is what’s wrong.

Next, what you said about homosexuality vs. pedophilia/incest is completely correct! Back in the 1800s, it was very common for cousins to marry each other, for example. There was also a case with a king of Spain in the 1600s/1700s (i believe) who was so malformed due to being the result of extreme incest in his family. Pedophilia, was also not condemned, but in fact silenced and protected, especially if the predator was a rich, powerful man (which is the case today as well). There have been lots of cases where a family marries their young, teenage daughter to an older man bc of money, which is also pedophilia. And yet, while these two were not condemned, homosexuality was always demonized. In the 20th century, when pedophilia started to be condemned more, homosexuality was criticized bc they believed they were pedophiles, so that whole thing of “acceptance of homosexuality increases acceptance of pedophilia” is another homophobic argument, as well as also making no sense as you’ve pointed out.

I do believe you’re right, you are someone who doesn’t have strong convictions so your beliefs are easily shaken, and this is mostly bc you don’t have a lot of resources/information/statistics like i do! If you have actual, proven facts that back your arguments, you will realize you are not as easily convinced of homophobic arguments, and it will also be more difficult to manipulate you into hating yourself. Because this is what it’s all about. Regardless of how you feel about yourself, you will always be same-sex attracted. That is something you cannot change. You can spend your whole life hating it, and it still won’t change the fact that you’re bisexual. What i’m doing is not “brainwashing”. Brainwashing doesn’t look like “please accept yourself, love yourself, there’s nothing wrong with you”. I’m trying to make you realize that your friends, family and Church are trying to guilt-trip you & manipulate you into hating your sexuality, using conspiracy theories and old-dated homophobic arguments that are not based on fact, on logic.

I’m not saying you should drop your friends, and it’s certainly difficult to let go of your homophobic family. I’m also from a homophobic family, and it’s taken awhile to stop listening to their homophobic arguments. But it’s possible. And the first step is to surround yourself by people who will accept you for who you are. By being constantly surrounded by Christian homophobes, you will never take the first step to love yourself. You need to realize this. It’s no shocker that you’re here again asking for my advice to deal with your internalized homophobia: it is a logical consequence of spending so much time with homophobes & actually listening to what they have to say. By all means, listen to their arguments. I have listened to them all my life, I had no choice. But see through them: they’re not backed by facts, their only intention is to hurt you, to make it even harder to accept yourself.

Like you’ve said before, you could hate yourself your entire life, but you don’t HAVE to do it. You have a choice. You can start to let go of their homophobic beliefs & values, and realize there’s another path that you can take. One where you don’t have to second-guess yourself, one where you don’t have to cry bc of who you are, one where you don’t have to fear going to hell, one where you can be happy & comfortable in your own skin, and maybe one where you find an amazing woman who loves you for who you are! Is it possible that you can take breaks from seeing your homophobic friends? It is possible that you can go on an exchange trip, or sign up for a club in your city that’s not religious? You will realize this does wonders to your self-steem, and the less time you spend surrounded by people who preach hate & intolerance, the easier it will be to come to terms with your sexuality and start to love yourself.

I wish you all the best❤️

#their homophobic arguments can be easily debunked using logical facts so try to spend some time researching these facts #you will realize they aren’t backed by facts #[m]#homophobia #internalized homophobia #anti religion #religion #my thoughts

5 notes · View notes

wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

Text

Vampire Story OCs

New and improved because the original got deleted! Here’s everyone, alphabetized, sorted, and so on! With a wee bit of info about them as well!

DRACULA’S COVEN

Eric Madden: A member of the coven who was turned in 1987. He’s confident and cocky, but it masks a rather depressed interior. He’s bisexual. He has the power to read movements, however subtle, to detect feelings as well as intentions and actions.

Dahlia Rosemont: One of Dracula’s adopted daughters from the 19th century. She was the child of slave owners who she frequently rebelled against, becoming something of an abolitionist before her parents caught her and traded her to a vampire. She was rescued and adopted by Dracula and his bride-to-be Victoria (my wife’s OC). Her power is incredible super speed.

Macheath Sharpe: A former highwayman from the 19th century who was turned by their jailor. They have the power to shape their body however they please; they choose to present as a lovely woman, but keep their David Bowie-esque British male voice. They work at the Rhyme or Reason Karaoke Bar.

Matthias Dracula: A vampire leader with a long and storied history, whose greatest dream was to have a school to teach young vampires. The former leader of the coven, killed in 1890 by Marianna Cross and her vampire killers. However, there is perhaps a way for him to return...

Nadia Shibani: Age 24 when she was turned. She hails from the Middle East. She was found living a miserable life as a bored, pampered wife to a man she didn’t love. Dracula and Victoria freed her from this slavery, and she ended up being turned by Victoria. She was apparently given away because her father didn’t believe her to be his child. She went into self-imposed exile after the death of Dracula due to feeling responsible for his death, as she had been the lover of his killer, Marianna Cross. Unbeknownst to her, her true father is Amon. She has the power to alter the gravity of any object, allowing her to fly or lift objects or make things even heavier, though she does have limits.

Primrose Beirne: Eric’s best friend from his time as a mortal, they met up at a gay bar in the 80s and became good friends. She enjoys gothic lolita fashion and smoking. She’s a bit snarky and mellow. She is a lesbian.

Rose Milliner: Hailing from the late 18th century, Rose as a mortal had epilepsy and psychic flashes that made her a pariah among her peers, and led to her being abused by stepfather and stepbrother. On her way to being put in an asylum, her stepbrother tried to help her flee, but the two were ambushed by a vampire. Rose was turned, and eventually ended up with Dracula. She has incredible psychic and telekinetic powers, but due to her mental instabilities she as a tendency to involuntarily read people’s minds, which makes her unpopular with others. She has anisocoria.

Sakura Himura: A former samurai who fought in the Satsuma rebellion. She’s loud, brash, and loves to drink and swear. She despises western culture and tries her best to uphold tradition, but she’s a little hypocritical. She’s blind and either uses her sister, a cane, or her radar sense power to navigate and fight.

Yuriko Himura: Sakura’s younger (yet taller) sister. She’s a lot sweeter and more nervous, hating confrontation. She loves western culture in stark contrast to her sister, and converted to Christianity in the 20th century. She has the power to channel healing energy through her hands and into objects.

MARIANNA’S COVEN/EVE’S COVEN (Book 2)

Amon: A very old, very powerful vampire. He serves as Marianna’s right-hand man. He is exceptionally myserious.

Eve: The black horned demon serpent who in an age long past created vampires. She preys on the weak and vulnerable, turning them into vampires so that she might use them later on to fill out the seven seats in the Order of the Black Orchard, her personal bodyguards. She is said to have cut out her heart long ago to escape the pain of heartbreak, and because of this the very beings she created are more easily able to find love. She uses special apples grown in her private orchard known as Black Eden to help create powerful vampires.

Jack Fairchild: Jack the Ripper himself. He has the power to travel through shadows. He is the most hated and feared member of the coven, and he has committed nearly every atrocity you can imagine, gleefully. He views himself as above laws and morality.

Jojo Faust: A young German man from WWI Germany who faked his own death and became an alcoholic following the death of the man he loved in WWI. He was tricked into being turned and was used as a prostitute by Marianna’s coven. He has no idea what his power is, and is kept in line with a special slave collar created by Rhiannon. He is bisexual.

Kristoph Hollenfeuer: A former Nazi who commanded a secret paranormal investigation branch known as Enigma. He has the power to generate tracking bombs from his hands.

Marianna Cross: The leader of the coven. Formerly Nadia’s lover, she gave in to the temptations of power that Eve and Amon offered her, and betrayed Dracula and his coven, leading to Dracula’s demise. Her weapons of choice are sharp-nailed silver gauntlets specially made so she can wear them. She still pines for Nadia, which has led to her neglecting her adopted daughter Gabby (my wife’s OC). She has the power to enter mirrors, which has led to her being called ‘Bloody Mary.’

Rhapsody Von Braun: Hailing from the early 60s, Rhapsody was an artist who had her career derailed by workplace sexism, which led to a car accident that permanently damaged her leg and led to her becoming a drug addict. She spends a lot of her time sleeping, and walks with a cane even as a vampire. She’s rather sweet and pleasant, though she is a bit scatterbrained. Her power is to make drawings she draws come to life.

LOOMER STREET GANG

Jason “Loveless” Leeds: The second oldest of the Leeds kids, he always tried to protect his siblings from their abusive dad. Went to jail for a year at age 20 because he took the blame for their father’s murder. Because it was self-defense, he was only given a year sentence. He’s a bit self-conscious about being seen as a stereotypical angry black man, and is actually a bit of a goofball. Prior to going to jail he was a theater kid, and starred in a lot of productions at his high school.

Lilith Crowley: Venus’ twin sister, Lilith is the dark Goth punk to Venus’ girly girl with a tomboy streak. She has a scar over her right eye from when she suffered a sexual assault in high school that almost lead to her death, but by some unknown stroke of luck she was found, her hair white and scarred over her eye but otherwise unharmed. She nowadays works as a getaway driver in Loveless’ gang, and has incredible skill behind the wheel. Her favorite band is Styx, her favorite food is chips.

Rika Amano: A half-Japanese, half-white girl (she looks more Japanese). After her father disappeared in Egypt, her mother slowly went mad from grief, which her brother Ryo used to his full advantage, tricking Rika into believing a violent assault on her was her mother’s doing to kick her out of the family. Homeless, she eventually found a safe haven in a homeless shelter, where she met her friend David Paine and the shelter’s owner, Lucius White, who she spent much of the next decade helping. She’s very tough, resourceful, and good-natured. She has the power to rewind time a bit, a la Sands of Time, but she only can use this a limited number of times. She has a lot of pale scars on her left arm from self-harming after becoming homeless.

Valentine Leeds: A perpetually cheerful young man who is a skilled acrobatic and looks like Michael Jackson in the 80s. Age 21. The youngest of three siblings. Killed their dad when he was 14 years old (Sierra was 23; Loveless was 20.)

SILVERWINGS

Antoinette LeBlanc: A baker and vampire hunter from the south. She’s sweet as can be. Her three favorite things in the world are baking, sex, and vampires in that order. She’s skilled with a shotgun; her weapon of choice is Ol’ Faithful, a shotgun her father gave her.

Babette Bonheur: A younger member of the Silverwings, she is a sweet redheaded French girl. Her greatest joy in life is painting. She has psychic visions, and she can go into a trance and paint what she sees. She is unaware of Mari’s crush on her as well as the fact she herself is a lesbian. Age 20.

Enrico Luna - Age 47. A dark skinned Italian man with hair that went prematurely white; he tends to keep it in a ponytail. A devoutly religious man, he grew up in the church, but formed his own set of beliefs when he began to see others in his church acting callous, cruel, and intolerant, believing they were not truly following the will of God. Venturing out on his own, he was recruited by his first wife, Lenore, into becoming a vampire hunter and paranormal investigator. The two were a wonderful team for six years, until Lenore was grievously wounded while fighting a werewolf, dying from her injuries. The stress prematurely whitened Luna's hair, but though this event hurt his heart, it did not lead him astray from what he viewed as the righteous path. He soon after joined the Silverwings and rose through their ranks as one of the most skilled members, and his judgment was almost always trusted, up to his recruitment of Amber Yang. He and Amber became as good a team as he was with his wife, and it is a rather open secret he harbors feelings for her, but he is content with leaving it as an unspoken attraction for now.

Gideon Golightly: A nervous, skinny freckled redhead who is nonetheless quite acrobatic. He tends to guard the door to the Silverwings lair.

Harlan Silver: Age 62. The Silver who is currently in charge of the Silverwing groups of vampire hunters. He has carved out quite a name for himself over the years, dealing with numerous dangerous supernatural occurrences quickly and effectively. Despite his age and his injuries, which include a missing eye and an injured leg, he is as formidable as ever. He is a loving father to his daughter Mara, and is perhaps the only person who really tolerates her snarkiness.

Mara Silver: Harlan’s daughter who was recently turned into a vampire by accident while her father was on a mission in Venezia. She’s an albino. She has no interest in the Silverwings and thinks they’re a bit goofy but she loves and respects her dad. She’s a bit brash and overbearing and sometimes jokes a bit too much, which she picked up from her mother. She’s unsure what her power is. She is rarely seen without her white hoodie with a pink heart and her heart-shaped sunglasses.

Mari Noven: The half-Korean, half-white daughter of Dr. David Noven and Dr. Ava Noven, two scientists working with the Silverwings. She is rather skilled at using ice magic. She has a thing for Babette, though Babette is completely unaware. Age 20.

Norman Grieves: Age 44. His parents were in the Silverwings, so he was in the know about vampires and the supernatural from a young age, often studying alongside his parents. He became a hunter at 21, but decided field action wasn’t his forte after meeting Behiti, instead deciding for an important desk job so he could raise a family. He became the library owner and so kept the Silverwing’s lair safe, as well as scoped out potential recruits. He is the adoptive father of Chastity’s children.

St. Jezebel: A fiery-haired saint who was said to have fought Eve in ancient times. Eve ensured that after she was canonized, she would fall into obscurity and be forgotten, though the Silverwings have done their best to keep her memory alive.

Talia Ishtar: An Egyptian scholar and martial artist. She’s a bit snooty and irritable but she has a good heart. Age 26.

OTHER IMPORTANT CHARACTERS

Amadeus Zephyri: A former member of the 19th century Order, he was set up as a sacrifice and so was given the chance to flee by Dracula, which he took. He was a genuinely good guy who seemed content to relax and not kill or be killed, and even fathered two children, Rika and Ryo Amano. He had the power to stop time for eight seconds max. Despite loving his eventual wife dearly, he always ached for Dahlia Rosemont, his first love, but never to the point it stopped him from loving Mrs. Amano.

Armstrong: The owner of the Rhyme or Reason Karaoke bar, and a skilled alchemist. He possesses a philosopher’s stone but refuses to use it, feeling metal into gold is cheating. He is incredibly buff with wavy red hair, looking like someone who could star in an 80s barbarian movie.

Flynn Dangerfield: The son of a vampire killer. He has a jagged scar across his face, from some incident or another. He is good at making sandwiches. He is the least evil vampire killer.

Grigori Rasputin: The mad monk himself. He has the power to regenerate into a new body whenever his current one is compromised or destroyed.

Macavity: Jemima’s right-hand man and best friend. Despite being a muscular manservant, he is fond of poetry and Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.

Minerva Bright:: Age 35. The daughter of Balthazar Bright, founder of the diner Brightside’s, and his wife Rosa, Minerva was a very cheerful child with a passion for cooking and a love of people. As soon as she was old enough to work, she joined her parents in the diner and took pride in making sure customers were happy and satisfied, and that those in need received help. However, things changed when she was 20; her father was gunned down in a robbery gone wrong, and a few months later her mother took her own life out of grief; as if that wasn’t bad enough, Minerva, who was pregnant, ended up miscarrying due to the stress of the trauma in her life, and her fiance left her as a result when he found out she likely wouldn’t be able to bear more children. Minerva, now alone, took over running Brightside’s, and while she carried on the work her parents started, she grew more miserable, eventually finding ways to suppress all her emotions so that she could keep helping people. At one point, Jemima entered her diner, and the two built up a friendship, which eventually culminated in Minerva working with her, believing that Jemima had similar goals. But over the years she became disillusioned and soon became disgusted by how far Jemima was willing to go and how low she was willing to stoop to leave the city. Leaving Brightside’s in the hand of a trusted friend, she went into hiding with a few other women and formed a group hellbent on taking down Jemima once and for all.

Morag Macduff: The best friend of Chastity (wife’s OC). She’s an assistant manager and works the glory holes at the Den of Sin. She’s in her early 40s.

Remy Delacroix: The owner of the Den of Sin. He’s a bit greasy, but he usually means well.

Rex Hart: Rose’s stepbrother. Pressured by his abusive father into abusing Rose as well, he eventually turned on his father and began protecting Rose after his father killed her only friend: a little puppy Rex had found for her. He did his best to try and save her, but was turned and separated from her for years, becoming an alcoholic and mercenary in the process. Rose found him and the two reconciled, but were again separated when he teamed up with Amon to keep her safe and reign in Jack Fairchild. He has the power to, upon his death, have his body explode with the force of the bomb, with him respawning nearby.

Rhiannon Rhydderch: A vampire from the mid 16th century. She’s a powerful blood mage, and uses her power to make enchanted jewelry. She’s a very sweet and charming woman, and has no idea her jewelry is used for nefarious purposes. She has the power of flight, which manifests as shimmering butterfly wings.

Venus Crowley: Age 27. A free-spirited, fun-loving girl who frequents the Den mostly so she can support her friend Chastity. She’s known for being a bit scatterbrained as well as for being hopeless when it comes to love, with one amusing anecdote being how she freaked out and begged her twin sister Lilith for help after she asked out five different girls on the same day due to how conflicted she was as to who she liked. She loves her motorcycle (which she named Lady) almost as much as she loves girls, but she’s still very much a girly girl. She does street races and all sorts of illegal stunt driving to get her money, though she also has a job doing stunt shows at the local amusement park, Fordlandia.

Vinny Tosto: Owner of the burger joint Vinny’s. Sometimes has Lilith deliver shipments in a quick and timely manner, oftentimes not totally legal ones.

#The Vampirino Story #my OCs

3 notes · View notes

wetookanoath · 5 years

Note

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen it, but in the first postmortem the boys do, Ryan says that Shane once told him that he [Shane] wants his last words to be “Keep Rolling.” Do you think you could write a fic based on that? I feel like your writing would be perfect for that style fic. If you don’t want to, I understand. I love you ❤️❤️

Originally, this was two fics. One was the answer to this prompt that I started to write almost TWO years ago that then morphed into a parallel story to Like You Want To Be Loved from Ryan’s POV, and the other was a birthday gift for @mercury-skies (I’m so sorry I missed the date!), but then I realized both were pretty similar and said, “fuck it, canon divergence”. Which… is what this is, lol. In this Canon Divergence kinda AU thing, Shane has had Obi since he moved to LA.

Dear Soph, I hope you like this little thingy. I’m so sorry it took so long, I hope your birthday was as wonderful as you. I love you, you are one of the reasons I’m in this fandom still, and one of my best friends. I hope to have you in my life for a thousand years.

PS: It’s not a parallel story to LYWTBL.

(Read on AO3)

I’ll Stick With You, Baby, For A Thousand Years

If you asked Ryan, it all started in the Sallie House.

He had known Shane for almost two years before he asked him to be part of Unsolved. There was a certain amount of nervousness when he did so, and a sweet and almost shy smile on Shane’s face when he said yes without looking at him, pretending to not be excited.

Ryan knew then it had been a good idea.

In that evil house, he confirmed this thought when he had ran out of the place with his blood rushing through his veins in hot waves, heart pounding crazy in his ears. He couldn’t hear anything but the million ways his brain had told him the demon inside the house was going to kill him if he kept messing with it in there, Shane’s juvenile laugh so far away now that Ryan wondered if he had imagined it.

At first, he also thought he was imagining the man coming out of the house in such a calm manner, it made Ryan feel even more uneasy. But his friend had approached him, asked if he was okay, and when he hadn’t gotten an answer, waited until Ryan was ready to look up at him a few seconds later.

“We have to get back inside, Ryan,” he had said and Ryan had shook his head no, no, no, never. “Look, I know you’re scared but this is our job now, man. We committed to this, we are gonna finish this together.”

“I don’t want to die…” he murmured. Shane chuckled but it didn’t really sound offensive to his ears. In a way, it made him feel a bit better that the man found all this so funny.

Shane was smiling, that was the trick that did it. He smiled at Ryan, bright and kind, finding Ryan’s fear endearing somehow and not shameful. His hands were on Ryan’s shoulders in a heartbeat, his face neutral as he spoke again.

“You are not gonna die, I won’t let that happen. None of us will.” He said. “You are already the bravest of us by deciding to walk in there earlier today, knowing that you believe in whatever could be there.”

“Are you admitting there’s a demon in the house?”

“I’m admitting nothing but the only truth we know for sure: you believe in it, it scares you, and yet you set foot there like a boss.” He smiled again, squeezing Ryan’s right shoulder. “In my book, you’ve already won against that bitch little girl.”

At the time, it had made him laugh. Ryan swallowed and nodded, readying himself to get back into the house when Shane’s hands cradled his face in his big hands. His heart stopped beating and for a second, Ryan wished Shane would kiss him.

The man looked at his face instead, as if searching for something Ryan wasn’t sure was in him. After a few seconds, he smirked.

“Let’s get back in there, little guy.” It was the first time he had called him that and it made Ryan want to listen to him forever. “Let’s finish this job.”

They had gone in there together, Shane behind him, ready to push him into the place if necessary but it wasn’t. Instead, Ryan had tried his best to not piss his pants and let Shane keep laughing in the face of danger like if he wasn’t scared for the soul of his friend.

Shane made things different, Ryan noticed, in a way he hasn’t witnessed before.

Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t believe that made him brave in Ryan’s eyes, screaming and laughing at empty spaces Ryan thought were filled with evil they couldn’t see. But Shane looked back at him, the tender smile of earlier and Mexico City, and San Jose, and that afternoon at work when he had popped the question, so sweet on his lips, making his face kinder and Ryan had to blink back unknown tears.

“You really are scared, aren’t you?” Shane asked him later as they laid down on the floor.

He had gotten his sleeping bag closer to Shane and the man had laughed, allowing him this as he was allowing him so much lately. Ryan said nothing to his question, thinking it unnecessary when it was so obvious what was happening to him.

Many shadows were taking strange shapes, windows seemed to get darker, and Shane came into view still with all the lights off. Ryan looked at him as the man got closer to Ryan and laid on his side, looking at him.

“Give me,” he said. Ryan frowned and realized he was offering him his hand. Shane was asking for his. “Give me that hand.”

Hesitant, Ryan moved his hand until it was on Shane’s. The man grabbed it like if he was trying to warm it up, keeping it against his in a firm grip without interlocking their fingers or doing anything else, just holding it. Shane sighed, licking between his lips before squeezing Ryan’s hand.

“Nothing you think may be out there is real.” He murmured, Ryan was already aware this was something they were getting cut for the video. “Nothing out there can hurt you, I promise you that.”

“You can’t do that.”

The man smiled. “Don’t contradict me, Bergara, never underestimate my competitiveness.”

Ryan couldn’t help but giggle at that, both of them were certainly assholes when it came to competing against others and against each other. In a way, it was one of the first things that attracted him to Shane, the way he seemed to encourage him into competing with him to be the best new thing in the office. It was insufferable and oddly motivational.

“I’ll keep you safe and alive just so I can say I told you so.”

“I bet you would.”

Shane’s eyes closed, he was still smiling as sleepiness started to call him back into its arms. Ryan swallowed as he thought of leaving again. But as if sensing his thought, Shane squeezed his hand.

“You are safe with me, angel.”

Somehow, it gave him the courage to stay until past the witching hour. Shane had laughed at his inability to stay for the rest of the night but had put his hand on his thigh as they drove away from the house, looking at him with a soft smile.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, and it rang in Ryan’s ears for the rest of the night. He was unable to sleep, even in the comfort of their hotel room.

He thought there, as he tossed around the mattress and the sheets, that Shane was some kind of handsome he hadn’t noticed before. He was cute, always has been. Funny and caring, protective in a way.

And he also had a girlfriend.

“I got one.” Shane said.

“Shoot!”

“What post-apocalyptic world is the most interesting you’ve seen in a movie?”

Ryan took a deep breath, thinking of his answer as he drove. They were alone in the car, the rest of the crew had taken their own rental with the excuse of wanting to sleep, “the truth is that you two never shut up”, Mark had told them. And Ryan was actually kind of be grateful for it. He enjoyed these 20 Questions sessions more than he cared to admit.

“Maybe Mad Max? I mean, it would be bananas to live in that!” he answered, and Shane chuckled at it. “Ugh, you’re going to say something pretentious like The Matrix or Terminator.”

“What’s pretentious about Terminator?!” Shane kept laughing, his eyebrows high and face surprised.

They laughed together a few more seconds before Shane answered. “My answer is kind of obscure, actually.”

“Holy shit.”

“But that’s not how 20 Questions goes, Ryan.”

“Shit, I don’t give a fuck.” He frowned, then rolled his eyes when he saw Shane looking at him with that shitty grin of his. “Okay then, same question for you.”

There was a shift in the air and Ryan wasn’t sure what to make of it, but Shane was suddenly serious, looking to the road outside the window.

“Children of Men.”

An obscure future for sure.

“Why?”

Shane smiled at him. “It’s my turn.”

“Oh, come on!”

The man giggled but cleared his throat before answering. “I think it’s something not so far away or impossible.” He said. “And I found it interesting, the way people reacted around the girl and her miraculous child.” Shane licked his lips and swallowed. “Hopeless world suddenly has hope in the form of a young lady and a baby…”

“I always thought it was kind of like the Jesus tale,” Ryan commented. “Mary was just a random young kid having the son of God, the hope that was promised.”

“Oh yeah, like obvious Christian imagery aside, it’s very interesting.”

Ryan sighed, the silence that followed felt oddly charged but none dared to break it. It felt sacred too, like if they had just shared something important and not just an opinion on a movie’s portrayal of the world after its end.

“You were raised Christian, right?” Shane asked suddenly.

“Catholic,” he murmured. “Even went to a Catholic school, and Grandma Bergara made sure to remind me every Sunday why I shouldn’t wake up early that day. Church ain’t that fun.”

Shane said nothing for a few seconds, then asked: “You think believing in ghost has something to do with your faith?”

Ryan frowned, thinking about his answer again. It was his turn to ask, but Shane’s question tickled in his brain as he thought over his family, the exchange in cultures, all that spiritualism he had absorbed over the years.

He had been a non-believer of the supernatural in his early teens, but had faith. Ryan wasn’t sure if it was actually something he grew up to have or was something he had picked from his parents. Regardless, he wasn’t a religious person but he had faith.

“Maybe,” he finally said. “I have faith there’s something else after death. Sometimes souls don’t pass on and stay here.”

“What about demons and all that, Ryan?”

“Well…” His hands were sweating on the steering wheel, Ryan swallowed before answering again. “If there’s good, there’s evil. One can’t exist without the other.” He repeated what his grandmother once told him. “Why are you asking me this?”

Shane looked at him as if he had been caught doing something wrong. His eyes were wide open and his eyebrows were up again. He recovered soon, clearing his throat and sitting straighter on his seat.

“Well, I don’t believe in any of that. I get curious.”

Ryan looked at him for a few seconds, then back at the road.

“So you’re saying, you don’t have faith?” Ryan asked, Shane blinked. “I mean, not like a religion or something. But, just faith that there may be more.”

“No, I guess I don’t,” he murmured.

There were a million other things Ryan wanted to ask him. Even after so many years, he still had so many questions for the man, and he hoped the roads never ended for them, for their little show to keep giving them excuses to leave town and experience all this together.

In that moment, though, Ryan changed the subject by keeping their previous game with more questions about movies and simpler, sillier things.

Shane’s words still echoed in his head as they kept going and the night approached with their arrival to the hotel. Tomorrow they would be working, but tonight they still had a few minutes to spare with each other, laying together on the same bed of their double room.

“I would really like to believe in something, you know?” Shane said, one arm over his forehead as he looked at the ceiling. “Wrap myself into it, find something beyond what is said and done.”

“Why?”

There was no answer for him, just Shane’s eyes piercing Ryan’s soul as he seemed to be looking for something on his face again. It was then that his free hand moved, fingers holding Ryan’s chin up as Shane kept watching.

“Because it’s terrifying to live in a world so still!” he suddenly said with enough goofiness to distract anyone from the grey shadow that had appeared over him. Ryan blinked a couple of times. “If there’s something else aside from the things we know, well, I gotta know too! Wouldn’t that be something?”

“Yeah.” Ryan answered after a pause. “I guess it would.”

The silence that followed made him think of Shane these past months they’ve spent together, travelling for their show and how it had become theirs after it had been his for what felt like an eternity. Make no mistake; Brent had been a good host, one of his best friends still. But the man was never as present as Shane seemed to be now, so involved and worried for it to be as perfect as possible.

Shane, the perfectionist. Going behind Ryan to edit better, giving him so many great ideas that Ryan didn’t know how else to credit him other than to name him co-parent of this little project that was becoming popular. He wondered for a moment where would Unsolved take them, if it was going to become a monster or an angel.

“I really wanna see a ghost, Ryan.” Shane said suddenly, making him look back to find Shane sitting on the bed. “You better prove me wrong.”

It felt like a promise.

“Oh, you’ll eat your words, sir,” he said, and Shane smiled at him. “You’re gonna kiss my ass soon, we are so gonna get something one of these days.”

They laughed together; it seemed like they were always laughing together about the same shit. Their laughter was bright and obscure, and sometimes it made other people wonder what was it. Maybe that was their own ghost, the thing only they could see.

Shane’s fingers caressed the tip of Ryan’s nose out of nowhere, and he blinked as he saw him wink and stand from the bed, walking towards the bathroom without saying any other words.

He had never seen him act this way with anyone else but his girlfriend. Ryan wondered if he was this open with his closer friends, if Ryan could consider himself one of them now.

Back then, he wondered so many things that it felt like a never ending game of 20 Questions.

When Ryan first admitted he was in love, Shane was single and drunk in New Orleans.

Each city they visited fell into their laps in a way he had never experienced before, like each place had been waiting for them. Ryan knew it was in part because they cheated shamelessly and chose places were they could visit other touristy ends, have a good dinner with the crew, and sleep well when they weren’t covered in webs and dust.

But New Orleans had magic in the air, on its people, and around each corner.

They had partied with their crew and for the first time, Ryan felt like they were going to be friends forever. He had known these people for years now, but that night, when that they cheered together and promised each other another year of spooks and bad mornings, he just knew.

Warm beer had never tasted so good.

By the time they made it to their room, they were drowned in laughter, trying to carry each other to their respective beds. They ended laying together on Shane’s, laughing at their inability to stand and walk, drunk out of their minds with Ryan pretended touching Shane wasn’t making him combust on the spot.

He remembered little bisexual Ryan watching his crush play football in high school, how he thought Rod had looked so good under the sun and he would never like anyone else ever. Not the way he had liked Rodrigo that summer when he was fourteen. Time made him braver, steps were given, confessions were made, hearts were broken, and time kept going by.

Now he was looking at Shane, kind and brilliant Shane, who was always smiling and looking out for him. Who was very available now, bathed in neon blue light with his cheeks and nose red, eyes closed before they finally opened and looked at Ryan.

Ryan wished he could take a picture of this. The way Shane was looking at him like there wasn’t anywhere else in the world he wanted to be and no one else in his life he wanted to be with. It made his heart suddenly turn, find a home in his crush that was no longer just a crush.

It couldn’t be. Not when Ryan was sure he would bare himself to this man and reveal his deepest secrets if he wanted, when he would sacrifice everything in exchange for just having Shane’s happiness and he would be grateful. Just like that, he blinked tears away, and he was in love.

His lips parted, but no words were spoken. Shane just looked at him, into his eyes, for what felt like forever, until his eyes started to move around his face as he so often did. Ryan licked his lips and Shane’s eyes were on them immediately.

“I wanna kiss you, angel.”

“Uh, okay.”

“I won’t,” he said. Ryan frowned and felt his heart tense. “We’re drunk, I don’t want to spoil our first kiss like that.”

“Oh.” And just like that, his heart was beating fast. Happy. “I wouldn’t mind…”

“I would. Big time.” He smiled. “It has to be perfect, Ry.” Shane said, putting one hand on Ryan’s cheek. “Like you.”

He wanted to cry, instead he chuckled and watched as Shane fell asleep with his hand on his face. He wasn’t sure when he had succumbed to dreams, but he woke up to Shane gone, from the bed and their room, and the sun burning his eyes like tears.

“Here’s a new one.” Ryan said as they drove to the theater. “Ideally speaking…”

“Mhm.” Shane exclaimed, listening.

“How would you like to die?”

“Ugh, getting dark already and we haven’t even eat anything,” the man said, making both of them laugh as he waited for an answer. “I guess asleep, right? We all want that, the less trouble the better.”

“Just asleep?”

“Sure.”

“No old age? Just any time is fine, laid down on the bed and pggghhh– dead.”

“What the fuck was that? Pgggh?” Shane laughed, Ryan smiled as he finally saw the mall building and the slightly small line to enter the parking lot. “Oh man, you already know the answer. Old age is fine, though I’ve been feeling fifty since I was fifteen.”

The car filled with laughs, and they stayed in comfortable silence while Ryan looked around the lot to park. He sighed, reminded himself to be cool, he didn’t need to scare off Shane already on their first non-official date. He wanted to ask him if this movie thing was in fact a date, or if he had dreamed what happened in New Orleans.

But ever since that night, Shane had been especially attentive with him. And Ryan was no liar, he well loved the coffee in the morning, the good night texts, Shane’s jacket around his shoulders when they walked around like a pair of old men in the afternoon.

Yet, he didn’t have the guts or the will to deal with the answer being no. Ryan reminded silent.

“My turn,” Shane said when Ryan finally parked, he nodded and waited for the question. ��What would you like your last words to be?”

“Oh boy.” His eyebrows moved on its own, already thinking of the answer for such a hard question.

“‘Oh boy’?” Shane’s own eyebrows went high, Ryan shook his head and the man laughed. “What? Are you going to be, like, killed by aliens or something?”

“Why aliens? You are watching The X Files again, don’t you?” he frowned, killing the engine as he looked at Shane, whose eyes had closed and become moons as he giggled like a child. “Fuck, I should have never told you about my crush on Mulder.”

“You like spooky boy!”

“Oh my god, I’m on ninth grade again…”

“I was totally your type in ninth grade, though. A giant nerd.” He answered, the comment made Ryan’s heart beat faster.

“Jesus, that would be like– illegal, you know?” He reminded him. “I was a tiny child, you were a teen and a half!”

“Oh!” Shane seemed to remember. “Holy shit, I’m older!” His hand went to his mouth, he shook his head no and looked at him. “Christ, I’m glad we met as adults. Jesus.”

Ryan smiled at him and sighed before going back to the actual subject they were discussing previous to their latest branch in the conversation. “I think… I don’t know, man. I try not to think of me dying, it gives me… anxiety and stuff.”

“Uh, anxiety and stuff.” Shane repeated. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I think I will have to think about this one for a while and then I’ll get back to you.”

Shane smiled at him. He had unfasted the safety belt but hadn’t made any move to get out of the car. They still had a few minutes to spare, so Ryan said nothing and waited.

“I would like my last words to be something positive,” Shane said, and Ryan nodded, trying not to think of a world were Shane wasn’t there. “‘Keep going.’ Something like that.”

Ryan smiled again, his heart was feeling trapped inside his chest and he didn’t like the sensation. There were walls around him, caging him in the deep, dark and cold sea. If he kept thinking about it, about Shane dying, he would–

“I guess leaving this world on a positive note would be good,” Ryan said, hoping Shane wouldn’t notice the anxiety this small conversation had already given him. “Let’s go, big guy. I want to buy us the biggest popcorn they allow us to.”

Shane chuckled, opening his door and following him into the darkness of the parking lot, the noise of the city and the people walking around in their own private worlds. They walked side by side, the silence a bit forced. Ryan licked his lips, thinking of small conversation before he felt warm fingers on his.

Looking down at his hand, he saw Shane’s own taking it like he did a year ago in Kansas. Back then, he hadn’t interlocked their fingers as he was doing now, and it made Ryan look up at him to find him staring nervously at nothing in particular, front and nowhere else.

Ryan smiled, giving Shane’s hand a gentle squeeze. The silence felt warm even when his friend was too tall to hold hands like normal people do.

Normal was something he didn’t dare to be ever since he left college. It wasn’t what Ryan was, he guessed. And with Shane, he was just real.

He wasn’t sure when one date became many. Ryan wasn’t about to question it, though, he sure as hell was more than happy to keep going with Shane everywhere.

The man took his hand, let him put an arm around his waist or interlock his arm to Shane’s while walking, and it all felt natural, like if they had been destined to be like this since before they met.

When he got that sappy, Ryan knew he needed to kiss Shane soon and call him his boyfriend sooner. Time had been nice to them and it was time for that payoff he had been waiting since New Orleans earlier that year.

Little after they started to film season 3 of Supernatural, things changed.

The rain had caught them on their way to Shane’s apartment building after they had found parking on the side.

After the movies, they had gone to dinner and argued about Shane paying more than Ryan had on the cinema earlier the day. Ryan had lost the argument for the time being, but it didn’t matter if it let him see Shane smile, make him look all smug and charming.

When they entered the lobby, the desk guy gave them a once over and sighed, making them laugh again before Ryan put on his tiptoes and ruffled Shane’s hair, drops going in all directions and making things worse. But the man smiled at him, sweet and open, looking so young it only made Ryan wish they could have this forever, that he could enjoy this man as he was for the longest time.

He kept thinking of a life like this, in which they got together to the same place after a long day of work. Where they could leave their shoes behind the fridge to dry them and their wet clothes spread around the bathroom to then wear comfy pants and old t-shirts, share a cozy bed that smelled of Shane and his chocolate shampoo.

“I can take the cou–”

“Nope,” Shane told him, pushing him in the direction of his bedroom.

He also had a spare room. None of them mentioned it either.

Shane’s room was a world of its own. Like the rest of his apartment, it had movie posters here and there, books and toys, collection worthy items of shows and films he loved, and his silent cat Obi in the corner, hidden on his Amazon box where Ryan couldn’t reach him.

“He’ll come along, don’t worry,” Shane told him, patting the space at his side on the bed. “I’m not gonna bite you, Ry.”

“Jesus.” Ryan laughed, feeling his cheeks warmth. Once on the bed, he saw Obi peek out the box to watch them settle under the sheets together. “He’s watching us…”

“He’ll come later and sleep over my head. Maybe yours!”

“Uh…” Ryan blinked, hoping the shot he got for his allergies last week worked as it should. “Let’s hope you don’t have to drive me to the hospital in the middle of the night.”

“I can take him out, it’s no problem,” Shane assured him, frowning at the thought of Ryan’s allergies reacting bad around him.

Ryan smiled at him. “It’s okay,” he said. “First, I got that damn shot and it better work because it actually hurt like a motherfucker. Two, it’s been years since I last reacted badly to being exposed to cat hair, so I don’t think it will be bad. If so, just a few sneezes. I can take those sneezes.”

“Are you sure?” Shane asked, still very serious, and so very close to Ryan’s face.

“Yeah. This is his house, I’m the visitor,” he answered, giving the same thought he always has regarding his dogs. Shane smiled at him this time, taking his chin with his fingers.

“Shane?”

“You’ll be a good stepfather,” he murmured, Ryan swallowed visibly but only nodded. Shane’s fingers moved, his palm now over Ryan’s cheek and he leaned into it, sharing a smile with Shane. “I got it now.”

“What?”

“‘Keep rolling.’” he said. Ryan frowned and moved his head a little, trying to understand what the man was talking about. “What I would like my last words to be.”

“Oh.”

“No, hear me out.” He laid down, making Ryan lay at his side. His hand was still on his face, fingers caressing his cheek lovingly.

Ryan didn’t had the heart to tell him he didn’t like this conversation, that he had forgotten all about it in the months they had been getting this close and wasn’t looking forward to being anxious on Shane’s bed when it was his first time here. But Shane looked happy as they were, smiling at Ryan as he caressed his cheek gently.

“I either become the next David Fincher,” Ryan laughed at that, knowing exactly where this was going. “Or die by a demon’s paw on location, and you better keep rolling.”

“God, don’t say that!” Ryan begged, feeling his throat close like that time months ago when they had first gone out and talked about this. “I would never let you die on location. Or ever.”

“You are not gonna let me die?” Shane smiled, his thumb caressed Ryan’s skin with care. It made Ryan sigh. “Do you plan on keeping me forever, Bergara?”

If there was a double meaning to this, Ryan took it, nodding without finding his voice to say something else. Maybe something romantic, confess his feelings and how he had them for so long. Instead, Shane’s forehead leaned on his and they shared the same air, his warm breath making Ryan want to close his eyes and lean into those lips.

“I’ll stick with you, you know,” Shane said. Ryan nodded again and this time, he closed the distance between them.

Shane wanted a perfect kiss, he had told him that in New Orleans months ago. If the two of them smelling of rain and Shane’s aftershave, nested on his sheets as his cat purred somewhere on the pillows over their heads wasn’t the perfection he was looking for, then Ryan was willing to spend the rest of his life searching for it as long as it let him kiss those lips.

He softly moved against Shane’s mouth as the man moaned between them, parting his lips to deepen the kiss. Both his hands were now on Ryan’s face, cradling it gently as they kissed ever so slowly, almost scared of somehow ruining the other, like the other was a precious crystal to be kept untouched.

But they were free to touch each other, and Ryan’s hands were reminded of this as he sank his fingers into Shane’s hair while his other hand traveled down his back, and up again, until it went to his waist and held him there to never let him go.

Their lips made a wet sound when they went apart, Ryan’s eyes still closed, unable to come back to a reality where he wasn’t tasting Shane’s mouth. The man’s soft laugh made him finally open his eyes and find him staring back at Ryan with that spark in his eyes, the same one he had seen so many times before, that many people were noticing in their videos and their Instagram posts.

“I guess that’s a yes?” Shane murmured, Ryan chuckled and rolled his eyes, pecking his lips one, two and three times before kissing him long again, more passionate this time. “Such a good kisser, I knew you were gonna rock my boat.”

“Oh, I’m rocking it. I’m rocking it alright. All night if I can.”

Shane’s smile widened, his face getting pink. “Keep rolling, angel.”

If Ryan was dreaming, he better never woke up.

The morning after he spent the night at Shane’s, he woke up before the man. He watched him sleep for a few seconds, having to get out bed when Obi kept looking at him as if judging him for being a creep. Ryan gave it to the cat, he was maybe being weird, but Shane looked so peaceful and content, it was hard to look away.

He used the bathroom, dressed up in Shane’s button down from last night and his own boxers, and left the room for the kitchen, Obi right behind him, meowing his gratefulness as he ran to the little home office where Ryan knew his scratcher was.

Obi scratched at his toy, the sound filling the apartment in the early morning of the best weekend of Ryan’s life, and he decided right then that he could get used to this and be happy forever.

What had started so long ago felt like it was coming to a friendly end, a thing that initiated something else. Ryan supposed his grandma was right, and every ending, happy or sad, is just a new beginning and this one had left him with purple and reddish marks on his neck, hand prints on his hips, beard burns where only he could see and feel, and a happy smile on his face.

He sighed, very much aware of how he knew Shane’s kitchen as if it were his own, how Shane liked his coffee and what kind of breakfast he liked to have.

Today was going to be a great morning, no matter what.

Ryan never thought people would pick up on his closeness with Shane by such small things like saying– okay, yeah. Maybe that wasn’t so common, right? To know what your friend wanted his last words to be? He blinked a couple of times, scrolling down the comments section of their first ever Q & A video for their Unsolved episodes.

This had been one of Shane’s strokes of genius, a small video answering questions and comments for each video they got out on Friday. It wasn’t strange at all that management had liked the idea and greenlight it for them to film every Monday to go online on Wednesday.

Looking at the comments, wondering what people would say of their newest addition, Ryan never thought he would encounter praise for their friendship, “they really are that close”, and well. He arched an eyebrow. He would expect so, seeing this was the man he was sleeping with now.

“Stop doing that to yourself,” he heard at his side, Ryan turned to see Shane still driving, looking in front instead of him. “I see you, stop torturing yourself with the comments sections. That’s a strange place and you know it.”

“I just wanted to know what they thought of the Post Mortem thing.”

“You can tell the intern to have a look at that.” He smiled, looking at Ryan for a few seconds before turning his eyes to the road again.

Ryan sighed, leaning his head on the window as he watched Shane drive, an unusual image that felt like some sort of dream to him. One that came true, he noted. His reality couldn’t be happier now, even if they weren’t ready to put it everywhere on social media yet.

“They say we’re really close.”

“Well, seeing we have dick appointments with each other, I would hope so.”

He chuckled, their laughs echoing in the car before they sank into comfortable silence.

That day had been actually good. They had gotten the green light on their idea to go to England, have some episodes of Unsolved over there, and enjoy vacations after. It meant not only another step on their growing show, but a step in their relationship.

Vacations with Shane to another country, now that they were together… boy, maybe the fact that they were such good friends before getting into each other’s skin the way they had done was a good thing. It took off some of the initial doubts and awkwardness, let him dive into domesticity and couple life as soon as possible.

“We are really close,” Shane said while they waited on a red light. Ryan looked at him. The man smiled when he looked back. “I don’t think anyone knows me like you do.”

“Oh, come on…” he said with a huge grin, face feeling warm. “I already suck your cock, no need to say those things.”

Shane chuckled and shook his head. “You little shit, I mean it!”

Ryan laughed, leaving his phone aside and looking as Shane’s face turned bright, his happy expression ever so beautiful on him, and it made Ryan feel proud to know he had put that face on him. He sighed as Shane drove again, closer to his apartment now.

“Ry?” he called him. Ryan looked back and waited. “When was the last time you were in your apartment?”

His face felt warmer. If he hadn’t blushed before, he sure was now.

“I, I can take a Lyft–”

“No, no.” Shane looked at him for a couple of seconds, then back to the road. “In fact, you don’t have to go back anymore if you don’t want to.” He said, Ryan’s eyes opened wide. “You know?”

“Shane…”

“I’m saying, come live with me. Us.” He said, smiling at him when they stopped on another red light. “I’m sure Obi would love to have you there officially.”

Ryan blinked a couple of times, heart pounding in his chest as he thought of his initial question. When was the last time he was in his own apartment? He couldn’t even remember. And he didn’t have to.

Looking up at Shane, Ryan nodded with a big smile.

“I would love to, big guy.”

“Great!”

The light turned green, and they kept going, closer to home.

“I’m just saying, people know I love you,” Shane said and Ryan looked at him immediately, eyes wide open. But the man kept scrolling down his Twitter feed, distracted. “I don’t think it would be a bad idea for us to just… Get out there and say it.”

“Shane,”

“I guess neither of us are out of the closet online, but it’s not like if we have been hiding all this time. Have we?” He finally put the phone down, looking at Ryan with a frown.

He blinked a couple of times, watching Shane act like if he hadn’t just drop a bomb on them with such simple words. It wasn’t even the ‘coming out online’ shit that was about to give him a headache, but the copious amount of times Ryan was to overthink Shane confirming he loved him that had left him mute.

Shane arched an eyebrow, looking behind him, then back at Ryan who was still pretty much in shock. He left his phone of the coffee table and cradle Ryan’s face as he often did.

“Ry?”

“You, you said–”

The man blinked, unaware of what was going on. He seemed to be thinking about it, probably going through their previous conversation to understand why Ryan was so still, so into his head to even talk.

Shane’s eyes widened and he looked about ready to panic for just a few seconds, but it was all replaced with a huge grin and that shine in his eyes that melted Ryan in the spot.

“People do know I love you.”

Ryan’s face felt warm, he wondered what color he was blushing. Shane kept smiling at him, caressing his cheeks before kissing him softly, the cat purring somewhere on Ryan’s back, probably rolling his eyes at them being like this once again in his presence, right in front of his whiskas.

He wanted to yell at himself, so easily distracted from the moment with every thought that passed his head, every sound outside their bubble. Ryan was nervous, Shane chuckled against his lips after he barely responded, probably aware he was just… so anxious for nothing.

“Do you know I love you?” Shane asked, his voice sounding so soft, it made Ryan swallow.

“I… I don’t know… I do now?”

Shane chuckled again, this time getting closer to Ryan’s face to kiss his forehead. Shane hugged him, letting Ryan lean his head on his shoulder. The vibrations of his laugh made him look up, clearing his throat before cradling Shane’s face.

The man smiled at him.

“I love you,” Ryan murmured. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Mmm.” The man smiled. “I know.”

Ryan laughed, he could easily slap Shane for Han Solo-ing him, but there was just– his eyes and the way he was kissing him, how far they had come. Ryan kissed him softly, deepening the kiss as soon as he could, pushing the man to lay into the couch with him on top.

“Scoundrel.”

Shane smiled, pecking his lips once before finally, finally saying: “I love you too, sweetheart.”

If you asked Ryan, things started in the Sallie House.

That night, his attraction to Shane made itself notice in the way Ryan’s heart kept beating fast as the man held his hand between them, laying on the floor as he tried to sleep again. He had taken the footage from the final cut of the video, never spoke about it with the man until years later, when they were more than friends and had started to live together.

Watching it now, how young they were and how much was ahead, it made him smile.

“We were so fucking obvious, holy shit.” Shane murmured at his side, looking through cut footage from many episodes of their show. “You think people will be like ‘we been knew’ when they see this?”

“I think half of the internet already has, Shane.” He conceded. It had been a hilarious couple of years with fans and homophobes alike saying the weirdest, sometimes amazing things on their every platform. “But I think it’s time, don’t you?”

“Ryan, why did you never tell me that you can see my hard on during Goatman’s Bridge?” Shane asked instead, serious with a shine in his eyes that made Ryan’s whole body shiver. “This is the kind of cut shit you should show me more often, angel.”

“You are into such weird shit…” Including him, Ryan wanted to add. Ryan bit his bottom lip, waiting for Shane to answer.

When it didn’t come, he looked up from the tiny video they were doing to “officially” announce their relationship. Shane wasn’t on his side of the bed, and when Ryan looked around to find him, the man had taken away his laptop and tugged at his heels to get him under his body.

“What are you doing, you weirdo?” Ryan asked between laughs, Shane winked at him.

“You know what else is mine aside from that bridge?”

“Oh my God. No, no, get out! We have work to do!”

“You.” He smirked. “You are mine, baby. Until death do us apart. And maaaaybe beyond, right? If your faith can guide us there.”

He felt his cheeks blush, Shane’s smile was too sweet for someone who was about to bone his boyfriend a second time that day. Ryan rolled his eyes, smiling at him when Shane brushed his crotch with his, already getting hard in his pants.

“You are so fucking corny.”

“Horny, baby. Horny.”

If you asked Ryan, this was the start of the golden years of their lives together.

***

#shyan #shyan fic #skeptic believer #mercury-skies #shyanlibrary #nini got mail #answered prompts #mine #my fanfics #otp: we took an oath #Anonymous #bfu #fanfictions #gifted fics #soph tag

89 notes · View notes

alarriefantasy · 5 years

Note

do you know of any fics where they are christians and they follow kinda that typical “christian relationship”? no angst please, i get so sad reading it. thank you, love your blog!!

Here you go! I swore I had made this one already, but alas, I have not! Hope you like some of these! The ones starred (*) are the ones that don’t have angst! :) :)

Religion Fic Rec

*how many secrets can you keep? by xxPayne

Words: 11k

Harry, a homophobic Christian, joins Louis' gay-straight alliance club at school, hoping to somehow attract lesbians (he'll work out the logistics later). Louis shows him what he didn't know he was actually there for.

*all i trust, i leave my heart to by prettyoddnjh

Words: 13k

Salzburg, Austria. 1938.

Harry Styles is a young man who, despite his protests, will never be a Catholic priest. He is assigned a summer job as a governor for the six siblings of Mr. Tomlinson, a wealthy ex-navy soldier who runs his household like a navy ship. They fall in love.

The Sound of Music AU that a couple people did ask for, if you can believe it.

*Have A Little Faith In Me by FallingLikeThis

Words: 15k

Harry Styles remembers Louis Tomlinson fondly. They used to spend the summers bonding at Bible Camp, helping each other memorize bible verses for their weekly challenge against the boys in the other cabins, and chatting into the early hours of morning when they were supposed to be sleeping. They had been so close back then. Harry was heartbroken when Louis hadn’t been there last summer. He’d heard rumors, vague comments about how Louis had changed but he didn’t believe them. He couldn’t. Because the other boys, the ones from Louis’ home town, were saying that he’d started getting piercings and tattoos, that he’d come out as gay, and that he’d turned his back on God.

Harry had thought he’d never find it in himself to believe them but the image before his eyes has him suddenly questioning everything.

*and the truth shall set you free (...maybe) by jaerie

Words: 17k

Betism: A religion based on the belief that the beta gender has been chosen by God to protect and defend the purity and dignity of the human race by resisting and condemning the lustful ways and flawed biology of the alpha and omega

Harry is a Betist and Louis is an alpha who runs with a bad crowd. This is what happens when two worlds collide.

*secret little rendezvous. by orphan_account

Words: 17k

Louis is a priest struggling with his temptations and Harry is the irresistible stripper/sex worker that helps open his eyes up into a whole new world of sinful pleasure.

We'll Rise Up by FallingLikeThis

Words: 18k

Louis is a Pastor with no church and a heart filled with uncertainty. Pastor Payne is more than willing to give Louis a new place to work, but it's Music Director Harry that helps him rebuild his faith.

*You Make Me Want To Sin by lonelymisfit

Words: 28k

Or the very bregruding college AU where Louis is a bad ass frat boy and Harry is a shy and conservative catholic boy who wants to know whether Louis can show him what else he can do on his knees besides pray.

so keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby

Words: 78k

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

*Hate Me To The Moon by harrystylesandstuff

Words: 83k

The last thing Harry wanted was to spend his entire summer stuck with his dad's new fiancée and her kids. He wants no more when he learns she's a very religious dictator, raising a sixteen year old nun and a clean cut potential priest ass kisser.

Everything takes a slightly different turn, however, when Harry finds out his future step-brother is actually the rude stranger he caught sucking off a guy in a pub, far from the reserved Christian his mom thinks he is...

AU where Harry is a sexy nerd, Louis is a great actor, and they both pretend to hate each other's guts to convince themselves they're not feeling things future step-brothers shouldn't feel...

Cold by RealName

Words: 87k

Harry Styles hated the minister's son.

Louis Tomlinson was brash, obnoxious and possessed all the attributes that Harry deemed unlikable in another person. Unfortunately, they attended the same Bible studies class at church and their mothers were best friends, so avoiding the other boy was impossible.

Promise in the Sky by Throwthemflowers

Words: 99k

AU in which Harry Styles, a naïve, repressed, socially awkward Midwestern highschooler tries to navigate his fundamentalist evangelical parents and radically progressive older sister. He’s doing an okay job of this until the Tomlinson family starts attending Lakeside Baptist Church and a boy named Louis changes everything. Harry is forced to come to grips with his true self when Louis becomes more than just his best friend; but their relationship opens a can of worms and sends them on the most painful, heartbreaking journey of their young lives. They risk everything and nearly lose, and Harry learns that perhaps only one Bible verse is true: that perfect love casteth out fear.

Turning From Praise (Punk!Harry Christian!Louis) by capriciouslouis

Words; 128k

Louis has had a strict Christian upbringing that he never realized he resented until he meets Harry Styles, a boy who lives to rebel and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. But the better he gets to know Harry, the more he begins to realize that maybe Harry does care. And maybe “the children who God forgot” are closer to God than the devout will ever be.

Change My Mind by larry_love13

Words: 155k

Louis was a devout Christian family man with a wife and ten kids who lived a seemingly happy and idyllic life in Oklahoma. He always felt something was missing but he could never figure out what until he met Harry Styles, who made him question every single value he'd ever held dear, including his relationship to God AND his marriage. Harry, a devoutly religious young college student struggling with his own family and personal issues turned to Louis for guidance. They both end up learning a lot about themselves, each other, and their religion as they change a few minds-including their own-during their journey.

Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12

Words: 208k

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

credit to the owner of the manip

#ask

64 notes · View notes

spjcomicart · 4 years

Text

White, Green, and Tara

Stefano Junior Om Tare Tuttare Tara Soha, Om Tare Tuttare Tare Soha, Om Tare Tuttare Soha—so goes the Matra of one magnanimous Mother of all Mother deities. Tara, is Compassion embodied yet is she who wears 21 distinct guises and from which splinters crystalline and colouful into myriad more. It is also she who derives her existence from Avalokitesvara, bodhisattva of Compassion who bore her of his tears.. It is she whom was once a corporeal princess who affirmed the value of the feminine principle. “I prostrate to the Liberator, Mother of the all Victorious Ones” is more or less what her mantra elucidates. But how, and moreover, how does the practice of Vashryana Tara benefit the practitioner in a way distinct from other Buddha or spiritual deities and how does the practice of the feminine aspect of Buddha correlate or differ from the veneration of the Virgin Mary in the west? (1) Long ago, the Victorious One, came into existence and was known as Light of Worlds. The Princess “Moon of Wisdom” had the highest respect for his teaching, and for 10 million and 100,000 years she made offerings...; after much discourse she replied “In this life there is no such distinction as male or female,......weak minded worldlings are always deluded by this.” And so she vowed “Therefore may I, in a female body, work for the welfare of beings right until Samsara has been emptied” Then (guru Tathagatha Dundunbhisvara) prophesied “As long as you continue manifesting such supreme Bodhi, you will be exclusively known as “Goddess Tara”. Tara, later quite obviously embraced as a feminist icon, both as either the reincarnation or reiteration of Avalokitesvara from the tears he wept for the suffering of those trapped in an endless state of Samsara or the enlightened Moon Princess who relinquishes her humanity, she always insists on the necessity for the recognition of the female as essential. Despite her claim that gender has no corporeal relevance at the arrival of Buddhahood, the principle of femininity, motherhood, creation, compassion and myriad aspects associated with women culturally are vastly ancient. Dating as far back as the legend of the chaotic waters of Tiamat an Innana of Mesopotamia in the East, the notion of the female aspect and her attributes could either have been inherited culturally through India, or arrived at instinctually, or some combination of both. And with Tara, as with all Buddha, she comprises all aspects of both the feminine and qualities of the nature and cosmos. Conversely, the visuality of a Maternal Buddha would no doubt attract women to adhere to the tenets of spiritual enlightenment both for themselves, their daughters, and the good that they might contrive to do for their families in this realm during their current life cycle. In Christianity, no one inhabits this role more exclusively and effectively, for centuries, than the Virgin Mary. Mary of Nazareth, the purported mother of the Son of God, Jesus, is venerated by Christians all over the world as the “mother” of all of us and is sought in solemn prayer for 2 guidance, comfort, protection, and compassion. The repeated and recited prayers over her Rosary beeds thanks her for her stewardship of her son and asks that she not only forgives us for our transgressions but the “sins” of those that would do us harm-the ultimate act of contrition. Because only compassion for our enemies and ill doers over ourselves and our kin can truly exemplify a transendent forgiveness or “enlightenment”. Tara wields her own “Golden” rosary, in thanks to Taranatha, or Kun-ga nying-po a scholar and Buddhist created the rosary in 1615 after founding the monastery Tak-tan. The rosary follows a process of recounting Tara’s Tantras and lineage but most notably on the arrangement of her powers that save the practitioner from Eight great Fears; but more on that in a moment. Tara, as Buddha, is both the Mother AND the Father. She is the spiritual embodiment of Compassion and Virtuous enlightenment but she is so of her own accord, not because of the suffering she vicarously endured at the hands of her son’s persecuters. Tara is the “Saviouress” because she is compelled through her enlightenment to have “Karuna” (compassion) for the suffering that is inevitable in human life and the cycle of Samsara that all beings are subject to, in spite of their ignorance and proclivity for evil. “Tara” means Star and as such, she is both a maternal teacher and comforter as she is a guide to those who seek passage. Navigators and shipsmen would practice Tara as she might literally reveal their path and illuminate their journey while protecting them from the insurmountable dangers that abound. But she acts to do so also on the spiritual plane just as she is meant to gently encourage, an “Immovable Encouagement”, an individual or party on achieving or arriving toward their goal or undertaking. What greater force is there more 3 immediately recognizable and emotionally enmeshed than that of a Mother’s encouragement? If not for which, the majority of men AND women may not have taken its first steps. Not unlike the Hindu Elephant headed Ganesha, himself the son of Parvati-the wife and feminine aspect of Shiva, who eliminates obstacles from the worshipper who seeks his aid. (2) The Goddess destroying all hindrances is the supreme remover of Fears. For the practitioner’s protection draw Her, righteous, granting boons. The daughter of the ten Powers and Compassion is the Goddess wearing a woman’s form. Draw Her, the bestower of boons, for the welfare of all beings. (Vajrayana “Mahavairocana-Sutra” 716 ad) Tara can take away your Fear. 3)She is the Protectress from Fear of Leprosy. In the Land of Kumaraksetra, a powerful acarya caught leprosy, and he wandered from one person to another, he infected them. Relatives fled fro his presence as he defiled their purity. One day he saw a stone image of Noble Arya Tar and with faith begged her on behalf of the 500 infected Brahmins. A liquid like medicine trickled in an endless stream from Taras hand and when he had bathed in it the leprosy had subsided. The man’s own compassion for his fellow sufferers was essentially key to Tara’s blessing. Tara has compassion but calls upon us to actively engage with it on our quest to enlightenment through suffering. In addition to fear of disease, Tara can also aid in assuageing the fear of Losing Relatives among the Eight she is ward of. And thusly, combined with her vast magical attributes comprise the green of of a prosperous nature, that guide, protect, and encourage humankind, amidst her 4 many faceted faces, Tara is the ultimate Mother and can provide comfort to all in our insular trials and those we inevitably contend with in the physical world through our journey through Samsara. Whether or not an individual believes or not is another story. But those of us who have been reared by mothers know how very real a mothers love and compassion can be if immaterial and how moving her physical embrace can be (perhaps the Tara’s many arms could effectually embrace our spirit then); and also her wrathful judgment-but that story and that of Tara’s more terrifying aspects would be better suited explored in another essay. 4). Empower Us, that we may evoke without hindrance, that we may act as friends to the unfortunate that we may achieve our own and other’s aims, that we may gain the highest magical attainment. In January 2020 as the Coronovirus took a foothold in Asia and surrounding countries, the Dalai Lama encouraged Buddhists to practice Tara and chant her Mantra. Om Tare Tuttare Tara Soha....Om Tare Tuttare Tare Soha...Om Tare Tuttare.. Perhaps it cannot effect a cure as the world stands traumatized at the rampant death count and dissemination of our economies and regular life practices, but perhaps, like a Mother, Tara can aid us in achieving peaceful mindfulness, that we may have compassion for those whom are suffering instead of fear and acceptance of inevitable forces beyond the influence of our human will. This unprecedented level of global suffering may reorient our attention to the suffering of all and how meaniful existence can better be arrived at through compassion and courage. 5 Works Cited Wilson, Martin In Praise of Tara, 1986,1996. Print Shaw, Miranda Buddhist Goddesses of India, 2006. Print Beyer, Stephan The Cult of Tara 1973. Print Templeman, David (Taranatha, Jo Nang) The Origin of Tara Tantra, 1981 (1608) Print Wikipedia Tara (Buddhism), 2 020 Online Tibet Diary Corona Virus: The Dalai Lama advised Tara Mantra, 2020 YouTube Masters of Buddhism Short Biography of Tara, 2018 YouTube 6

2 notes · View notes