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#bliss object show
pebiejeebies · 6 months
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This is cancelled sorry
Update on my new object show!! BLISS!!
BLISS: Beware *whats* Lurking Inside *this* Sweet Sanctum (Object show name :3c)
Tw: mentions of mental abuse, full caps, curse words, eyestrain
So basically, the story is about a host (Semi colon) who has tried to get contestants to join her show, but NOBODY cared! So she slowly lost her sanity (haha reminds me of someone.. uhm.. not me..) and thought, “Hey?! What if I just.. MANIPULATE THEM into joining my show by saying ‘Oh look! Cool thingy that cares for objects health blah blah, then BAM! OBJECT SHOW!!” Because in Semi colon’s world, nobody talks about their health, so if there was some sort of free therapy for the inhabitants, they won’t say no! (I know, it’s stupid-)
This is generally a sort of dark humor show (if it wasn’t obvious), about (idk yet) number of “patients” will fall for the trick, thinking they were going for some sort of offline group therapy sessions, to be met with a lame object show that slowly makes them turn on EACHOTHER!! (Yayy another unoriginal show!!! *sobbing*)
And of course, Semi colon.. is going to make sure, they play in her show this time! Not make everyone forfeit before the show starts!!
(Visual reference is going to be hidden for now, I just need to see if anyone is actually interested in this shit lmao!!)
Of course, “we” (as in me for now) will make a separate blog that me, and said team that want to help with this, we will post our beautiful comic type object show, on tumblr!! With extra details like polls and asks!!
I have very big plans, if we all have what we need, this will work out!! 
These are all the roles:
Artist(s) Answers: none - (a person or two, three or four, who will draw/answer most of the asks on the blog!)
Storyboarder(s): none - (a person or two, three or four, who will storyboard my words into action for the comic artists!)
Background artist: none - (a person who will draw backgrounds for the show with full credit!)
Character Model/Prop artist: none - (a person who will draw the models so that the comic artists could use for the show with full credit!)
Comic artist(s): none - (a person or two, three or four, who will make the characters walk, talk, and interact with eachother by making the storyboards into action!)
Character Lore Keeper(s): none - (a person or two, three or four, who will collect all the details for all the characters and keep them safe and private, unless I ask you to post about it)
Co-Host: none - (a person who will take care of all the roles above, and keep everything in its place, while solving the problems that the host couldn’t fix, and a lot more.. btw I’m still going to make some sort of test for this, but tell me if ur interested anyways, )
Host: @pebiejeebies - (me)
and dw, I will give everyone their full credit on the blog! I’ll never steal your work and call it mine <3 (do tell if I’m forgetting an important role too!)
(Keep in mind, I’d like at least two or three artists that are willing to answer the asks! They could go with the flow in the answering section, from scribbles to very detailed and colorful art, this is basically fun for the viewers so they don’t feel useless! The asks will be either about a question for a certain character, or just a curious/normal question!)
What’s the prize? Freedom!! Imagine being forced into an object show, on a very small and limited island, every day losing a part of your sanity with OTHER contestants that are ALREADY are losing their sanity!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE CRAZY FUN!! (crazy? I was crazy once—)
Anyway, that’s about it for the show atm, I still don’t know how many contestants, or who is willing to help me with what exactly or be my co-host incase anything happens to me.
but for now, I need to know if anyone actually is interested in this! 
Do I make the blog?
@bliss-object-show (will be its name, don’t be a bitch and steal it..)
(tagging: @woodrocko, @sillyosclover, @smoken-bagel, @trashbins-stuff, @yourfriendlyshapeshiftermonsters)
because you offered to help me, so yeah, if you like this, dm me what role you want, with an example or two, the more examples, the more likely I’ll choose you!/nf
You can basically show me any scraps of old art, or make new ones, anything will work! But do keep in mind.. I have the complete right to say no.. so even if I hate hurting somebody’s feelings, I will not say yes if I don’t like it.. okay? Okay
I hope you had fun reading this! Tell me what you think, be completely honest (I love hearing other opinions, so don’t worry about sharing a new idea or a recommendation, etc!)
Bye bye!
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darby-rowe · 4 months
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18+ | nsfw | mdni academy!coriolanus snow x fem!academy!reader word count 1,375 cw piss(!!), closet sex, clothed sex, degradation, humiliation, dirty talk, dom!coryo, dubcon, fingering (female receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, breeding kink, descriptions of saliva, not proofread notes i've been having horrible writer's block trying to work on my snowjanus x reader fic, so naturally i decided to write a piss kink fic to hopefully resolve that [two thumbs up]
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you felt as if you had no time whatsoever to take a breather. the entire day was just your nose buried deep within your books to prepare for finals, and you didn't dare to tear your eyes away in fear of forgetting crucial information. you were stressed, and worst of all, you can't remember the last time you went to use the restroom as you felt your engorged bladder causing an uncomfortable ache in your pelvis.
your massive need to relieve yourself was only made worse as your boyfriend coriolanus pulled you aside, shoving the two of you inside a vacant janitor's closet. you gasped as coriolanus began grabbing at your tits and ass, shoving his tongue into your mouth in a sloppy, hungry kiss. you heard yourself whimper pathetically into his mouth as your sexual arousal mingled with your aching bladder. a slight dread crawled its way into your chest. if coriolanus continued with what he was doing, you were sure you would never recover from the sheer embarrassment of you pissing yourself during sex
"coryo—" you tried mumbling into his lips. but he was having none of it as he turned you around and shoved your chest into the wall of the closet, raising up your long red pleated skirt above your waist so he could get a good look at your pretty panties.
"don't object," coriolanus commanded, keeping his voice reasonably low so no one passing by the closet would hear them. he carelessly shoved his two middle fingers inside your mouth and ordered you to suck on them. gargling and gagging noises emitted from your throat as he pumped his fingers deep within your mouth to get them as wet as possible. as he withdrew his fingers, you coughed and gasped for air, only for your air to seemingly get caught off as coriolanus's hand tightly clasped onto your mouth. "and don't make a sound,"
you had to admit it — this show of dominance from your boyfriend was insanely hot to you, which made your overflowing bladder ache that much more. a muffled yelp escaped your mouth as coriolanus's two middle fingers, coated in your saliva, found their way under the waistband of your panties then inside your pussy. and you then found yourself in an entrancing in-between of pleasure and pure agony.
coriolanus's fingers were fast — punishingly fast — as they fucked your tight cunt, emitting squelching sounds as they pumped in and out, in and out, in and out. you couldn't help yourself as you whimpered into the palm of coriolanus's hand, desperately grasping at the wall of the closet to find anything to hold on to. "i barely saw you all day," he panted into your ear. "too busy stressing out over final exams. could barely focus because all i could think about was your pussy. but now i finally have you, so don't ruin this for me,"
you tried to crane your neck to give coriolanus an understanding look, but the vice grip he had over your mouth kept your head locked in place looking forward. you arched your back further into his fingers, earning an approving groan from your boyfriend. for a blissful moment, you forgot about your need to piss, but your guard was soon let down as you felt him withdraw his fingers and heard the familiar sound of him pulling his pants down, feeling him pulling your panties to the side.
with a few slaps to your pussy, and an agonizingly slow intrusion of his dick, your knees gravitated towards each other as you started to feel the beginning of the end. soon, you were going to be unable to hold it in, and you were going to have no choice but to relieve yourself all over your legs and his cock. you wanted to tell him, to make him stop before you embarrassed yourself forever, but before any words were spoken, his hand was back on your mouth, silencing you once more.
"ahh, fuck yeah..." coriolanus whispered as his dick entered inside. you rolled your head back as you felt yourself become full, letting out a low groan into coriolanus's hand. "such a nice, tight pussy. so perfect for my cock,"
"oh, oh god," you whimpered as coriolanus pounded his dick deep inside you, your voice muffled. the closet was soon filled with the sounds of his pelvis smacking against your ass, gasps, pants, and muffled moans as the two of you fucked in the risky privacy of the vacant janitor's closet.
you weren't sure if it was because of how good coriolanus's cock felt inside you, your limited amount of air, or the nauseating smell of the different cleaners, but you felt yourself becoming lightheaded and dumb. you were starting to emit low groans as he fucked you nice and hard, even though the danger of pissing yourself was still prevalent. every thrust of his cock felt as if he was intentionally trying to bump into your bladder, like someone gently tapping a water balloon with a needle.
"you're being such a good girl taking my cock," he mumbled into your ear. "and you're gonna let me come inside you, right? yeah? you're gonna let me breed this pussy so you can walk around with my cum inside you, you dirty girl?"
"coryo," you tried to say, hoping he'll understand. "i'm gonna pee,"
"what was that, bunny?" coriolanus mocked, not knowing a single word you were saying due to your voice being muffled. "can't hear you when i'm trying to get you to shut the fuck up,"
your orgasm was drawing dangerously close, and the process was only expedited as coriolanus reached around and began rubbing at your clit. the anticipation was rapidly killing you. moans and mewls escaped your mouth and into the possessive hand of coriolanus.
the walls of your pussy began to contract, signaling the arrival of your climax. coriolanus kept up with his ministrations, whispering dirty words of encouragement.
"that's right, come all over this fuckin' cock," he panted, placing open-mouthed kisses all over the side of your neck. "c'mon, my naughty girl,"
your cries for mercy fell on deaf ears as the continuous pumping of his cock brought you towards your explosive orgasm, in which your pulsating pussy further agitated your bladder. and along with all of your nerves igniting on fire, a steady stream of warm liquid came gushing out of you and onto your legs, pooling onto the floor of the closet. you would be sobbing out of embarrassment if it weren't for the fact that the immediate relief of your aching bladder only added to your orgasm. you groaned heavily as your piss came flooding out of you.
your walls squeezed around coriolanus's dick, causing him to also reach his peak as you continued to piss all over yourself and his throbbing shaft. he released his hand from your mouth, and out came a string of desperate apologies.
"sorry," you whimpered. "i'm so sorry, coryo. i tried to tell you—"
"looks like you made a mess now, didn't you?" coriolanus interjected. "what? i fucked you so good that you had no choice but to piss all over yourself?" he slowly took out his cock and looked down at your messy panties, covered in piss and cum. "so dirty, and so fuckin' hot,"
you took a moment and looked down at the floor beneath you, lifting up your foot to watch your pee drip from your shoes. you closely inspected your white socks to see if any traces of yellow could be seen, but the lighting of the janitor's closet made it nearly impossible to tell.
"i made a mess," you muttered, your voice tinted with frustration. however a delay in your mind made you finally register coriolanus's words. "wait, you thought me peeing myself... was hot? why?"
coriolanus shrugged his shoulders. "why not? did it at least feel good?"
a small shiver coursed down your spine as you remembered the orgasmic relief of your bladder, and you found yourself desperately needing to feel that feeling again. "it felt really fucking good, coryo,"
"then that's all that matters, really," he gave you a gentle smile and kissed your temple. "we should really clean up, though,"
don’t be shy, let’s talk. ♡
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nouvxllev · 3 months
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be my baby, t.r.
Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader
Summary: in which you show your love for jenna in your own way
Words: 1.2k
Warnings: fluff hooray!
a/n: heard this line from my headphones while i was scanning my notes and immediately went for my drafts. just a drabble if you may
masterlist.
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When people think of a sacred place, they'd think of something related to religion of some sort. A place of worship and compassion to another, maybe a deity. Or they'd think of something they cherished, the place that they hope one day see in their life after death and see the wonderful memories they'd have.
You were none of the ordinary.
Your sacred place was Jenna. Her soul was everything you wanted. She was everything you needed.
Everyday, she would see through you. Your pride, your anger, your selfishness, and how she accepts you for who you are even for your flaws. How your happiness often shined so bright whenever you were with her. How the stars would shine just for her to be in the spotlight, be the center of everything. Oh, how you were so devoted to her was something beyond you.
Hence why your favorite time of the day is waking up beside her, sliding your arm in between her body, and hugging her as if she were being taken away from you if not for your arms grounding her.
You shifted your weight towards her, your legs going in between hers as you hugged her even tighter. She always smelled like home and the subtle scent of her favorite perfume with a hint of yours, you noticed.
The faint music from Jenna's headphones filled the air, feeling your eyes slowly getting heavy as you nudged your head onto her nape, closing your eyes in full bliss but never slept.
Ever since you moved to her apartment, you saw how Jenna always slept with headphones on, only for it to be way too tangled and off her ears when she wakes up.
Your hands found Jenna's, intertwining them as you looked over her shoulder, the action being reciprocated when you felt her fingers close around your hand. Even when she was asleep, she always held you back as if you were a distant star coming to earth.
The morning sun always complimented Jenna so well, the warmth of the sun casting a gentle glow on her features, how her brown eyes are all what you wish to see, showing you everything there is to true beauty. It is as if she was another celestial object far from a mere mortal with how your world orbited around her very being, how effortlessly she could make every living and dying poet forever ink her name in their pages.
You were about to fall asleep until you heard a quiet groan and her body stirring awake. As Jenna shifted beside you, your arms were still wrapped around her body, loosening as she turned to face you.
"Hey." She whispered. Her fingers tracing patterns across your own hand as she blinked away her drowsiness, a loopy smile gracing her lips. "I thought you'd be up by now."
"I am." You gave her a soft smile while she gave you an unimpressed look, but her smile never wavered.
"I meant off the bed and do whatever you normally do."
"You know I'll always wait for you," you replied in a hushed tone, your hand coming close to her face as you brushed a stray strand of hair away, your thumb gently caressing her freckles.
"I know," she whispered as she nodded, her morning voice always something so familiar to you. "Just thought you'd have a change of heart."
"I'd be a fool to." You met Jenna's eyes with a smile, your gaze going back and forth from her eyes to her lips. Your hand resting on her face traveled to her back, pulling her in closer.
Jenna let out a soft sigh, "Aren't you the smooth talker," she murmured. Her hand finding its way to your cheek, her touch gentle and reassuring as your heart swelled with the sight and love that was Jenna.
You raised your eyebrow, "I'm serious about it."
Jenna laughed. She laughed. Oh, how it made your heart instantly recognize the pattern of her laughter.
"I can tell, don't worry." She said, looking into your eyes with the same expression you had. It was a small gesture, waiting for your lover to wake up in the morning, but it was everything to you. And maybe even to Jenna if not a lot more. She leaned in, pecking you on the lips, "And I love you for it."
You can feel your eyes soften, the subtle rise and fall of Jenna's chest against yours as the warmth of her hand rests on your cheek.
You allowed your eyes to drop down to her lips before leaning in and planting a gentle kiss to her soft lips. The very faint scent of her chapstick from yesterday still lingered as you held Jenna's hand on your face, tracing her knuckles with your thumb.
You pulled away before leaning in and placing another kiss to her lips. "I love you too."
Your hand pulled hers away from your face, intertwining them before kissing her yet again. "I love you more."
"I love you most." You whispered softly as your mind captured the look on Jenna's face that was adorned with pure love. Both of your hands reached to cup her face, kissing her once more, feeling the warmth of her breath against yours.
You can feel Jenna smile against your lips, the gesture driving you to insanity with devotion for this girl.
The both of you pulled away from the kiss, your eyes meeting Jenna's as your heart raptured with laughter as she laughed alongside it. The sound itself making you want to record it deep inside your soul forever.
"What was that about?" She chuckled.
"For every kiss you give me, I'll give you three. The Ronettes." You quoted, a smirk gracing your lips as the faint sounds of her playlist started to play all over again.
Ever since Jenna introduced you to her music taste, you were blasting it non-stop. Though it wasn't exactly the music Jenna would listen to, it was like the one of the many music that you found in her taste in genre and you loved it as much as you loved her presence.
"You liked it?" She mumbled, a hopeful tune in her voice. Another thing you noticed about Jenna is that she loved recommending her own interests to other people and you came to adore that so much.
"Who am I to deny my talented girlfriend with her music taste?"
She chuckled, sitting up straight as she pulled you up towards her, wrapping her arms around your body. "Flattery gets you nowhere."
"Then how come I'm right here in your arms?" You looked up at her, a small smile playing on your lips that seemed to never go away whenever you were with her.
"I don't know," she shrugged nonchalantly, "you tell me."
Jenna's arms around you felt like home, a sacred place you'd always come here after a day or even a decade. It was a place where you belonged to, the embrace that would last along with the faint music that was still playing in the background. In her arms, peace is never a fleeting moment but rather something that'll always keep your heart warm.
Another thing is for sure: you were her one and only, and you'd adore her till eternity.
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a/n: feel like im slowly getting the motivation to write more
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justblades · 1 year
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⌕ TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK, 18+
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⟢ CHARACTERS : blade x afab! reader x kafka WC : 1.5k
⟢ WARNINGS : EXPLICIT, MDNI. 3some, bondage, spitting, degrading, cunnilingus, squ!rting
⟢ SUMMARY : getting it on with blade, kafka suddenly walks in on you two and . . . joins in the fun
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"blade." you coo to the navy haired's ears, rocking your hips in an attempt to ease the pain of depravity pooling in your body. you were stuck straddling his right thigh, hands propped up to keep you stabilized.
he doesn't response, more so his puff of deep breaths were his only replies. crystalline tears start to well up in your eyes, carnal desire searing from your taunting gaze. your clit starts to throb for some attention, evident from how much you've been making friction with your exposed cunt against blade's lap - tongue stuck out in hopes of your yearning to be quenched by the stellaron hunter.
panting like a bitch in heat, it was all too much for blade to restrain. in actuality, his bulging erection was starting to ache, aching for it to be smothered with saliva and to be provided some company as well. he reaches his limit and so he quickly removes the bandage wrapped around his forearm and swiftly slithers it around your wrists— tying you with the makeshift of a binding. a yelp escapes your lips, feeling the object tighten its hold on you.
if anything, it's a win-win. you successfully managed to rile up the male so that he can tend to your needs, going through such far lengths such as this. blade immediately goes for the nape of your neck to forcibly make you seal a kiss with him, an open mouthed sloppy one so currents of pleasure and shock ride on your skins. "since you want it that bad, there's no going back." his deep voice chimes into your ears, a coy smile playing on his lips.
"do me however you like." with an instant approval, blade lets out a guttural chuckle, amused at how much you're obsessed with his dick that you're giving up your last remaining bit of dignity for him. "i'll fuck you to death then."
suddenly, the door of the confined room busts open— revealing a lady too familiar for the both of your visions. with the dim lighting glinting at her black, circular sunglasses, as if in unison, the both of you utter her name. "kafka." for someone like kafka, she was not one bit fazed at the scene unfolding before her stature. her curiosity only thrived, trekking towards the both of your figures.
"you really are a charm." she mumbles from your back, gloved hands tracing each detailing of your wrinkled clothing. as if the time comes to a standstill and your hearts were nothing but clocks, they continue to tick endlessly, striking every line and numbers for many laps already. "bladie here won't show his vulnerabilities to us and yet . . you've got him wrapped around your pinky."
kafka's next movement stirs the concoction of confusion brewing further in your conscious selves. she seats herself beside blade and leans forward to your face, her lifeless two hued irises fixate on your bewildered expression. "show me what you're made of." and with that single sentence, she envelops her soft lush lips onto yours.
your heart performs a somersault upon her action, unable to register everything happening but it definitely felt blissful. her gloved hands brush on your stomach, escalating up to where your clothes' buttons are placed. the dark magenta strands tucked behind her ear eventually came undone but kafka pays no mind as she finds herself basking in such sensation as soon as she tangles her soft tongue with yours.
saliva with a tang of sweet cherries, it makes a perfect mix with yours although you also previously exchanged sloppy kisses with blade earlier. kafka deepens her reach inside your wet cavern, the pigment of her baby pink lipstick rub on the margins of your lips. blade quickly catches on as he plays with your clit, the bandages wrapped around his hand become drenched from how hot you were feeling - being stimulated from both your upper and lower lips makes your body jolt with pleasure and shockwaves of excitement.
"i- i can't breathe." you protest as you were being smothered with kisses— to which
kafka immediately withdraws from your face and wipes her chin clean with a handkerchief she happened to carry. "we're just getting started." on e again her falsely sweet voice sounds into your ears.
with ease, she snaps the buttons of your top open, making your tits spring free as well as your nipples becoming perked at how the wintry air caresses the sensitive parts. the only heating source as of now are kafka and blade's lips, they were both quick with it as they fiddle their sticky tongues around your hardened buds.
blade was aggressive, almost as if his intention is not to pleasure but to devour you. he roughly squeezes and cup your right breast while kafka was the complete opposite. she lightly nibbles on the part all the while lathering her spit with it. meanwhile you were a moaning mess, throwing your head back as more of cloudy white liquids seep out of your cunt's folds.
"you're about to cum that fast?" she queries, eyes now widened, carefully scrutinizing the beads of arousal dampening blade's bandaged fingers. "well, what do you think about this then?" you fix your posture and trail vision back to the dyad and witness them engaging in a french kiss, making noises that were sloppy and naughty, mewls of pleasure mostly slipping from kafka's throat. as if you were inebriated with lust that it fills your system, ". . i feel hotter than before."
an alluring chuckle erupts in the room just after she breaks off the kiss, "no wonder bladie took a liking to you, you're a full on slut." as kafka uses such a degrading term to describe you, you were uncertain how to feel about it. all you know is that the male is behind you, holding you down and the other stellaron hunter is currently in front. she descends to your position, a kittenish smile sits on her lips.
your pussy was then intruded by two unfamiliar digits, accompanied by it was her warm tongue - pleasuring your slit with utmost skill. your back arches, knees folding at how it felt rhapsodic, better than how your clit was being toyed around by blade. kafka doesn't halt but only quickens the pace, sucking your folds in as if her mouth was a black hole and you're nothing but a mere planet to conquer for the lady.
more of your libido levels spike up once blade forces to you to face him with his fingertips on your chin, inviting you to exchange more of those open mouthed kisses. there were too much liquids flooding the both of your tongues that you couldn't help but gulp a good amount, to prevent getting messier than intended.
not for so long, a feeling of climax throbs on your clit. kafka quickly picks up this detail, sucking and fingering you all at the same. "i'm cumming!" you squirm under her touch as stream of liquids spring out of your hole, drenching the hunter's hair and clothes.
"okay, bladie's time to shine." with hasty shifting of positions, you find yourself on top of the male as you ride his throbbing cock while kafka sits on his lips, vis-à-vis with your lustful figure. the three of your clothes were strewn across the floor, and with a rapid thrust, kafka catches your lethargic body, nestling her face in the crook of your neck.
blade's girthy cock twitches from the confinements of your velvet walls, it pulsates everytime your pussy spasms from his shape. the navy haired was unable to supress his guttural moans, sending vibrations through kafka's cunt to which she bucks her hips for more sensation.
kafka now continues to mark your skin with her love bites, canines burrowing deep as well as sucking on your sweet spot— earning her more of your messy moans of satisfaction along with squelching sounds from blade's dick pistoning into your slit.
"bladie's toy is such a whore . ." she whispers in between her lustful kisses, words libidinous as ever. upon hearing it for the second time, you were addled at first how to feel but now you're more than certain. being degraded makes you drift into euphoria, into ecstasy, into the seventh heaven.
both of the stellaron hunters' whimpers signaling release echoe inside the four walls, as well as yours which was the loudest - followed suit by more strings of gratification springing out of each of your holes. the whole place was littered with busted, creased clothes as well as pools of cum, leaving a pungent scent that wafts into the air to which anyone could've guessed correctly from how strong the smell was.
at this point, sweat covers the entirety of your fatigues yet satisfied body, it glistens from the faintest lighting. kafka leaves a peck on your cheek with a pseudoinnocent smile playing on her lips, "i shall get going then. you can continue your episode with bladie now." as quickly as she bid her farewell, as fast as a lightning does the other stellaron hunter graces your vision.
"i'm not done with you yet."
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my masterlist !
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sunshinescribes · 6 months
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Between Your Name and A Prayer
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Pairing: Dracule Mihawk x Fem!Reader
Rating: EXPLICIT (18+), MDNI!
Summary: There are few who can say they elude Dracule Mihawk, and even fewer who have held his heart. You’ve done both, and it only serves to complicate things when Mihawk seeks to collect your bounty…or so he tells himself.  
Warnings: SMUT! Ex!Mihawk, Angst, Yearning, Fingering, Emotional Sex, Rough Sex (PinV), Reader is a little petty/bratty
Mihawk knows he shouldn’t be doing this. Not again.
He shouldn’t be slipping through a sleepy port town in search of you.
He tries to blame it on your wanted poster, a reminder that you continue to evade the world government—evade him, but the lie is hardly convincing.
Not when he had spent more time than necessary staring down at your new wanted poster, his sharp eyes following the curve of your playful smile and catching on to your eyes, as bewitching as he remembers, and with that familiar glint of mischief shining in them. The look you give is reminiscent of the one you used to grace him with, just before you stole a kiss, or persuaded him back to bed—what feels like a lifetime ago now.
Mihawk tries to shake the aching feeling that blossoms in his chest. Your bounty has gone up significantly. Vice Admirals hiss your name over snail responders; wonder why you haven’t been caught yet. Mihawk is quick to retort sharply that he isn’t at their beck and call, despite what the Admirals might think, and that they can send someone else to catch you, or better yet, find her yourself.
He knows they won’t. It’s as difficult for them to track you down as it is for him, maybe even more so. Besides, they have an…inkling of an idea of what you two once shared. Feelings once held that they think he can use to draw you from the shadows. If only they knew how wrong their assumptions were.
He may be a hunter of sorts, but you are no prey. Mihawk has come to realize that he only finds you when you let him. You leave little clues—hints dripping with nostalgia. You tease him, dare the world’s greatest swordsmen to come and find you, and he accepts the challenge every time with the eagerness of an undisciplined child.  
He has only found you twice, and on both occasions, you looked far too pleased, not surprised in the slightest to see his dark figure slipping from the shadows. You had smiled and teased him in a way only you (and a certain red-haired pirate) would be brave enough to.
You finally showed up, Hawk Eye.
Mihawk despises the epithet from you—the distance it creates, but it’s necessary, isn’t it? It makes it easier to fall into a night of ravenous bliss without considering that you two once shared a home and your hearts.
Mihawk continues to shift through the lifeless town, the chilly midnight air working like a balm to his tortured soul, allowing him a moment of respite as his eyes flit between dimly lit shops. This venture started nearly a week ago with Mihawk idly flipping through the newspaper, curious to see what troubles were brewing in the Grand Line. Little caught his interest as he read, but when he turned to the last page, his eyes lingered on a single photo. An unexpected offering.
You, disguised well and hidden in a crowd, your face was obscured by the hat you wore, similar to the ones donned by those beside you. To anyone else, you were nothing more than another spectator, but the necklace that rested against your collar screamed your identity—the same one Mihawk had placed around your neck a year prior.
What fun you must have finding new ways to reel him in.
The first time Mihawk sought you out, he had been certain of catching you. His objective left him the second your warm eyes fell on him, and your mouth ventured where his body had missed you most. The second time, he had sworn he would not be tempted, but his will had shattered easily. Mihawk lost himself as he pressed you up against the wall of a cramped room in a seedy hostel, your nails digging into the flesh of his bare back while he took you apart as he had done so many times before.
What would he do this time? Mihawk had tried to reason that he would not be so weak-willed—so foolish as to let you reduce him to a man incapable of thinking beyond the flesh—but the certainty he once held was steadily slipping out of reach with each encounter.
A frustrated sigh escapes Mihawk’s parted lips as he stops in front of a shabby tavern. His eyes follow the curves of the poorly painted sign, faded and scuffed from lack of proper upkeep. It’s lifeless. No music pouring out the doors or cheery carols of drunken men. No heady scent of rum or grog. The tavern is completely devoid of life, save for the soft, flickering candlelight that paints the windows in a warm orange hue, and a single slippery patron Mihawk knows is inside.
He ignores the warring voices in his head as he pushes the door open, and there you are.
You sit perched on the counter, legs crossed, and head tilted slightly as you cradle a bottle in your hand. You hum a soft tune, your eyes downcast and far off in thought. Mihawk thinks perhaps your thoughts might be of him, because he recognizes the melody. It’s the same one he used to whisper against your skin in the dead of night, ushering you into a peaceful sleep—just as it had been used for him, back when he was young and hopeless in the arms of a tender-hearted nun.
Your hushed singing halts when the floorboard creaks under the weight of his boots. Your eyes lift, and the somber expression on your face is gone so fast that Mihawk thinks he might have imagined it.
An impish smile graces your features, and your eyes lower as you take in the sight of his lean body, shameless and hungry.
“And here I thought you’d stood me up.”
You’re always quick to crack a joke, dispelling some of the uncertain tension that always brews at the beginning. You want this to be as uncomplicated as possible.
And Mihawk realizes suddenly that he complies, says little beyond your name, and takes what you offer, lying to himself that it is enough—that he will hunger no more afterwards…but his appetite is endless, vicious in how much it craves something it can never have again.
Mihawk takes a step forward, and you uncross your legs instinctively, spreading them in a way that would make the nuns he grew up with faint. Ramera, they would whisper harshly, before slipping into prayer. They would surely have some choice words for him as well.
Your smile slips when he settles on the stool beside you, instead of between your parted legs.
You want this to be uncomplicated, and Mihawk can oblige, as he always does—he can steel his unruly heart and silence the voice that reminds him of better days, sweet and silent moments in a drab castle that seemed to burst with life with you in it. He can do all this, but why should he give you what you want right away?
You sigh disapprovingly, before taking a swig from your bottle.
“So, you’re here to collect my bounty, then?”
Your voice is flat and unamused. Mihawk can’t tell if it’s a display of false bravado or if you believe he wouldn’t be able to manage it.
“I haven’t decided,” he lies.
Of course he has. He always decides. Before he even sets off to find you—before the clues bare themselves before him—deep down, he knows he’ll never raise Yoru against you. Never bring you to the admirals who have hunted you for as long as he can remember. He can play the part of the heartless hunter, but he never truly fulfills the role.
Your sly smile returns. You lean towards him, positioned in a way that makes your collarless shirt dip, exposing the soft flesh of your breasts. Mihawk is quick to look away, but you’re just as perceptive as him. Your eyes catch everything, no matter how minuscule.
You reach for his hat, placing it on your own head.
“How can I convince you to spare me?” You ask sweetly, setting your drink aside.
Stop running away.
The words catch in Mihawk’s throat. He knows why you’re running, why you won’t come back to him, not even if he swallows his pride and asks. The moment the words pass his lips, you’ll pull away. Stop being a warlord, would be your quick reply, and it would spiral into the same argument that had created the impossible distance between you two.
Neither of you would let up. You both would tear open tender scars. It would complicate something already too fucking complicated—shatter the delicate peace you both allow in moments like this.
It will do no good to start a fight he can’t win.
Instead, Mihawk lifts from the stool, reaching to unsheathe Yoru. Your eyes go soft for the briefest of seconds when they fall on the decorated black sword—such a stark contrast to others who have seen him wield it. There’s always fear, sometimes envy, but never fondness. Then again, only you know his sword as intimately as he does.
“You don’t need to convince me,” Mihawk starts, leaning Yoru against the counter, far enough so that it doesn’t become a nuisance. “You only need to take what I give you.”
You raise a curious brow. You’re used to leading these little liaisons, quick to chase pleasure you’ve been deprived of, but this time Mihawk needs something different. He needs you to want just as badly as he does, to see you as helpless as you make him feel.
“And if it’s not enough?” You taunt, always so eager for a reaction.
Mihawk doesn’t humor you with a response. Instead, he positions himself between your spread legs. A myriad of images flash in his mind—delicious ways to break you apart that almost make him shudder in anticipation.
He notices your pert nipples through your collarless shirt, untended. Desire takes him hostage, makes his hands almost shake as he works quickly to unclasp the delicate buttons that keep your skin hidden from him.
“Someone’s excited.”
Mihawk rolls his eyes when you chuckle, low and lovely. You think you have him in the palm of your hand, and you’re not exactly wrong for believing so. Though you’ll learn soon enough how easily he can turn your smart remarks into desperate pleas.
You let out a shaky gasp when you feel Mihawk’s warm mouth kiss your collar, slowly trailing down while his rough hands cup your exposed breasts, kneading the soft flesh. He whispers your name against your skin—perhaps a warning or a promise—before he takes your sensitive nipple in his mouth. A pretty moan rips from your throat when he adds the soft pressure of his talented tongue.
You try not to picture Mihawk between your legs, lapping at your needy cunt with fervor. If the wetness between your thighs is anything to go off of, you’re doing a piss-poor job.
Mihawk breaks away from your tit, a string of saliva following him as he tends to the other. It’s a lovely sensation, but you want more.
You snake your hands downward, attempting to unbutton your pants and slip your fingers where you need them most, but Mihawk denies you. His hands catch your wrist the second you finish with the buttons. Your breast falls from his mouth, and he fixes back to his full height, peering down at you with those piercing eyes of his.
“Hard of hearing, are we?” Mihawk arches a sharp brow, ignoring the murderous expression you wear. He can feel the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “What I give you. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
You glare up at him like a petulant child…such a shift from the confident, easy smile you displayed only minutes before.
Mihawk revels in it for a moment longer before choosing to be altruistic.
He leans close, his soft lips grazing your ear as he whispers, “If you want my fingers inside of you, you’ll take off those pants. Quickly.”
He practically purrs in your ear, his voice richer and deeper than you remember it being. You want so desperately to defy him. His words drip with arrogance that makes you want to bare your teeth at him, regain a modicum of control, but you also burn with such torturous lust—and maybe something sweeter.
You school your emotions, look as irritated as you can manage when you slide down from the counter, quickly pushing your pants down the length of your legs. Mihawk mirrors you, peeling his black coat off, before neatly placing it near Yoru.  
Damn him and his stupid, perfect body.
You kick your pants to the side, tossing his hat along with it for added measure—just in case he thinks you’re happy to do as he says.  
Your faux frustration dissipates the second you’re back on the counter, and Mihawk’s fingers glide across your cunt, coating his digits with your slick. You hear the words he doesn’t speak when he pushes a finger into your hungry hole—who’s excited now?
You shake, eagerly watching the way his finger disappears inside of you.
“Mihawk—”
He shushes you before adding another digit. You hiss—oh god—andhe pushes a little deeper, fucks you a little faster, desperately seeking that soft spot inside of you that makes you see stars.
Mihawk curls his fingers suddenly and knows he found it, because you make the most wrecked noise he thinks he’s ever heard.
Your lashes flutter, sharp curses spill from your plump lips, incoherent and crude. Magnificent…Mihawk muses, transfixed on your micro-expressions—the way your brows pinch together, the subtle tremble of your bottom lip after each pretty sound.
You clench around his fingers, teetering on the edge of your release. Mihawk’s free hand moves as if it has a mind of its own, finding your neglected clit.
Your fingers weave into his hair, pulling him closer. "Fuckfuckfuuuck," you practically cry into his shoulder. You shudder beneath him while a pool of pleasure builds in your core, so dangerously close to bursting.
“More,” you choke out.
The tortuous circles that he rubs against your aching clit are divine, but it isn’t enough. You want to feel full—fuller than his fingers alone can provide.
“Wanna c—hmmmng—c-come on your dick.”
You’re thankful you catch the plea that tries to crawl up your throat.
Mihawk swears under his breath, pulling his fingers out of your sopping pussy. His eyes are heavy, his expression is like that of a drunken man as he glances downward. He groans, watching the way you clench around nothing.
Mihawk doesn’t make you wait long. He’s quick to undo his dark trousers, works with speed even he might not know he possesses to free his aching cock—it’s so lovely, pale with the prettiest shade of pink dusting his thick head. Evidence of his own arousal pours from the slit, mixing with your own slick when he wraps his fingers around the base.
You watch him pump into his hand, getting his dick nice and wet for you. It’s such a beautiful sight, so fucking obscene. You can’t stop the desperate moan that pours from your lips. Can’t stop yourself from calling his name with a hint of urgency in your tone.
“Impatient—” Mihawk hisses, finally lining himself up with your entrance. He gives no warning as he buries himself in your soaking heat. You all but shriek as you feel the brush of his wet fingers against your clit again. “You have what you want. Now come.”
You try to hold out—you don't want him to think that he can make you shatter with a simple command, but your body betrays you. Pleasure rips through you before you can even consider a snide remark, making you cry out loud and cling to his lean frame. You shudder through your orgasm, curse between gasps, and Mihawk can’t look away—can’t stop the way his hips jerk reflexively when your walls flutter around him.
It feels so good, it almost makes him lose what little self-control he has left. Mihawk stills, grits his teeth painfully until his desire becomes just a little manageable. He won’t let this be another quick, meaningless fuck.
Mihawk lifts you with his dick still buried deep inside you. It almost takes you by surprise until you remember just how strong he is. He wields Yoru as effortlessly as one wields a dagger. He has taken down entire fleets with a single attack. Maneuvering from the bar counter to a booth is hardly work.
And you’re thankful for the change, feeling the cushion beneath you. It’s not the softest you've ever felt, but it’s certainly more comfortable than the damn counter.
Though it hardly matters, you don’t get much time to relish it once Mihawk cages you in with his powerful body.
“Missed me—” He thrusts into your heat, his pace downright brutal as his hips slam into yours. “Oh—OH, can’t you feel how much you missed me?”
God, you hate how right he is. Despise the way your cunt sucks him in and clings to his length. You feel the sweet spasms that wrack through you with each vicious thrust—how your walls pulse with a need to be filled in more ways than one.
It feels so fucking good—always does with him—and you’re past trying to deny it. Would you even believe yourself if you tried?
You blink up at him, watching the way Mihawk’s face contorts with pain and pleasure. How his long, dark lashes flutter. The way his delicate lips part and a sound that goes straight to your core escapes. He’s so beautiful—it almost drives you mad thinking about how effortless it is for him, as if he is something divine and otherworldly.
Is this the same way he sees you? When his eyes linger and he looks a little dazed?
His golden eyes lift suddenly, finding yours. Your breath catches at the expression you see hidden in their depths—the unguarded adoration. It’s so different from how he looks at anyone else—a gift only ever meant for you.
Mihawk slows the roll of his hips, moving his hand from where it’s positioned near your head. You can’t anticipate what he’s planning—can’t think beyond the tender look in his eyes.
And then you feel it.
The warmth of his palm as his fingers laces with yours. 
The act is intimate, full of loving intent.
Your heart bursts as you blink up at him. Countless emotions flood through you—unceasing affection that you try to bury, the pain that still lingers, loneliness, frustration, desire—it’s overwhelming in its intensity, chases away the unrelenting conviction you’ve nurtured for months.
“Mihawk,” you call out desperately, “kiss me.”
Mihawk stills, eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips. He considers it for a moment, leans in ever so slightly before pulling away, cursing in his mother tongue.
He tries to focus on the feeling of you beneath him. Your warm skin, the rhythm of your erratic heart—but your request snags his like a twisted vine. It takes every ounce of defiance to deny you this.
Not unless you tell me you still love me.
Not unless you come back home.
“Mihaawk…”
You hate how your voice comes out in a low whine, but the need to feel his lips against yours is paramount. One final request to satisfy your heartsick soul.
“Too much.” His voice is tight, pained. “You want too much.”
His golden eyes find yours again. You expect his notorious glare, maybe even a sneer for good measure, but you receive neither. His eyes are soft…and a little sad, as if he wishes he could give you everything you desire, but to what end?
Hot, frustrated tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You try so hard to blink them away, but they fall without your permission, running down your cheeks all while Mihawk watches, his sharp brows lifting slightly in surprise.
“I hate you,” you whisper, but there’s no venom in your voice, no spite. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate yo—”
You taste his lips before you feel them—ripe plum from a silver chalice, salt from the sea.
Mihawk melds his mouth with yours, reminding you both of just how perfectly you always fit together. You melt into him, feel lightheaded when he pries your mouth open with his tongue, desperate and hungry, as if he’s trying to siphon the air from your lungs.
Your nails scrape against his scalp, tufts of his dark hair curl around your fingers, and Mihawk breaks.
He rocks his hips suddenly, harshly fucking into you with renewed fervor.
“I hate you,” you say again when he finally breaks away, a string of glistening saliva still connecting you two. The sight alone rips a breathy moan from his throat, and he nods.
“I know,” he dips down, pressing phantom kisses to your lips.
Mihawk knows what you really mean. What you won’t allow yourself to say aloud.
You still love him. You never stopped loving him.
He tries to show you how much he still loves you, pushes himself as deep as he possibly can. Mihawk nearly collapses from the way your velvety walls hug him—so tight and snug that it almost hurts. He knows he’s hitting something delightful inside of you—something that makes you convulse and sob beneath him.
“Please, please—” he hears your voiceless plea.
Mihawk groans, resting his forehead on yours as he pounds into you. He hits so deep that the head of his cock collides with a gummy cluster of nerves, and you tip over the edge with a sharp cry.
Mihawk captures your lips again, swallowing your moans. You tremble, fresh tears slipping from your eyes, while your second orgasm rips through you, so violent and demanding that it feels like it wants to take your soul along with it.
“My heart—” Mihawk grits as your walls massage his tortured cock, take him hostage until he’s pushing impossibly deep. “fuckI’m—"
Mihawk doesn’t finish his sentence—barely even starts it before he’s flooding you. He comes hard, pumping your sweet cunt full of his seed, filling it like it deserves. Your walls squeeze him, milking him for all he’s worth. It’s too fucking much. He shakes through it, euphoria splitting through his body until every ounce of strength is drained from him.
Mihawk collapses, as boneless as you, though he does his best to refrain from resting his full weight on you. He offers you sweet praise. A soft kiss on the corners of your lips, your cheeks, your chin.
“I love you,” Mihawk murmurs against your skin, so low you nearly miss it.
You’re too spent to react, though you’re uncertain of what you would do even if you could. You want the warmth of his touch, his kisses, and honeyed words. You want that fond look in his eyes and the tender care he offers only to you.
But are you willing to forgive? To forget how you two ended up here?
You ignore your mind’s inquiry. You allow yourself to crave, to fall deeper into this pleasant mirage as your eyes grow heavy.
When the sun rises, you will have to face this, but for now, you let yourself slip into a fantasy where you can love him without consequence.
PART 2
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divider credit @/cafekitsune
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yippee! apologies if my takes are horrendously bad
my personal take on the matter is that i definitely think the dark worlds can work as a metaphor for escapism without undermining the darkners' personhood. it can be more than one thing, yknow? the darkners are important, their lives matter. and the lightners do go to the dark world as an escape from the problems they face in their own life. but that's not the darkners' whole PURPOSE, yknow? i mean. according to the laws of the universe of deltarune yes darkners' "purpose" is to serve the lightners but like it's not their whole purpose in the STORY.
it's sort of like how, in UNDERTALE, LOVE represents how distant you've become, how easy it is for you to hurt people. but it also literally gives you the power to destroy the world.
i think the biggest reason i believe escapism is at least a part of deltarune's narrative is queen.
queen's whole speech in both of her fights is about how she intends to provide escapism for the lightners (so that they will worship her but also so that they will he happy). she wants to turn the whole world into a dark world, so that everyone can live in bliss and not have to worry about the woes of the light world. she mentions "Staring, Tapping, To Receive Joy. Staring, Tapping, To Avoid Pain." which is like pretty much the definition of escapism
she wants to help Noelle with the problems she faces in the light world ("Noelle. Who Will Be There To Help Her? Her Strange And Sad Searches" and "My One Idea To Help Noelle, Failed") by just... shoving it away for a blissful fantasy world ("Wake? No, She Has Already Awakened Too Much. Let Her Close Her Eyes And Sleep Away, Into A Darker, Darker Dream.")
...i forgot the rest of what i wanted to say!
well first off, thank you for your ask! I'm going to get extremely in depth in my answer, so bear with me here. sorry it took several weeks to write this. the escapism reading of deltarune is pretty deeply entrenched in fandom, and to refute it, I felt it required a full-length essay to completely explain my viewpoint.
yes, "the lightners desire escapism" does not automatically translate to that being the darkners' actual narrative purpose. escapism can be a theme without dehumanizing those who are used in order to escape - in fact, I've read a number of stories that use someone's desire to escape to HIGHLIGHT how they're hurting others in pursuit of that. I believe that toby fox is definitely capable of telling a story about kids having a valid desire to escape, and about them grappling with having inadvertently created a world of real, living people as a result.
(I'll reiterate again that this is not the story arc that generally shows up in fanon. the common consensus is that the game will end in an omori-esque "growing out of" the dark worlds. it's why I have a huge dislike of the fanon escapism reading, given that the darkners are shown as people whose lack of agency parallels kris' own. it would feel cheap if the resolution to that plot was that the darkners were actually never meant to be agents in their own fates. but this is a digression.)
the reason why i DON'T believe that this is a story that toby fox is telling is because of the way the world, themes, and characters are written. put simply, it just doesn't come across as congruent with the story being told.
deltarune's main themes are agency, fate, identity, and control. this is a conflict that shows up in nearly every major character, is baked into the worldbuilding, and is the central struggle involving us, the player. the protagonist of deltarune is literally possessed by us against their will. the darkners are objects that have no choice but to serve and be discarded. over and over again, there is emphasis on roles that characters play - and crucially, roles that are imposed on them.
what would escapism mean, in this thematic context? in real life, escapism can represent any number of things, but in a story, a major narrative theme generally has to dovetail with other major narrative themes in the work. I would argue that escapism in deltarune would likely mean going to a place where characters are able to choose for themselves what roles they embody, or even to discard the notion of roles altogether. a fantasy of control is the only way to escape a reality where you have no agency. and honestly, it's hard to imagine that something could count as an escapist fantasy if you don't even get to choose whether or not you participate in it.
let's talk about kris.
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I see a lot of discussions around kris that say that kris goes into the dark worlds to escape. the dark worlds are posited as kris' fantasy of heroism. it's a world where they can seem heroic and cool, a world where they can have friends. this theory makes a decent amount of sense on the surface level, but only until you consider that kris is being controlled in order to go into the dark worlds. and it is not a control that they appear to welcome.
if those worlds represent kris' fantasy, then why don't they get to choose what happens in those fantasies? why are they being controlled by an external force, one that they actively push back against? if it's really an escape, then why does everything about this world reflect their lack of agency? if they really think this world is just a pure fantasy, then why do they care if spamton falls when his strings are cut?
because they're being deliberately obscured to the player, it is hard to say how kris actually feels about many subjects... but I do seriously doubt that they view the dark worlds as an escape. they don't act in a way that is consistent with that. they resist their lack of agency, and what little we do see of their reactions to darkner characters doesn't suggest that they view those characters as part of a disposable fantasy, either. they seem to have complicated feelings on ralsei. and of course, one of their biggest emotional reactions in the game is to the spamton fight. I would argue that that suggests they have empathy for spamton, which is a hard emotional reaction to have if you believe he's just part of a fantasy. not impossible, mind you, but it seems unlikely that kris believes that all this is simply fantasy.
also, considering that snowgrave both actively discredits the idea that the dark worlds are mere fantasy and is actively traumatic for kris... I seriously doubt they'd open another dark world in chapter 3 on a snowgrave run if their motive was purely to escape. on that route, they've seen the damage we can cause in a dark world. they know that berdly has sustained lasting damage due to our actions, assuming he's not outright dead. why would they want to try and "escape" to a place like that again now that they know what can happen?
the only answer is that they have a motive that isn't escapist.
now, as for ralsei... what part does he have to play in all this?
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ralsei does play a lot to the fun, fantastical elements of the dark worlds. he delivers the prophecy that kickstarts the adventure. he flatters both kris and susie endlessly when they act appropriately heroic. he welcomes them into the castle and even makes nice rooms for them. he initially seems tailor-made to enable a fantastical experience where no real issues can ever complicate anything, and where the pain of reality can successfully be hidden from. but there's a lot of complications to the idea that he might represent an escapist fantasy.
the first, and what honestly seems the most important to me, is that he doesn't encourage kris and susie to remain in the dark worlds. he is welcoming and kind, but once the adventure is over, he prompts them to return to the light world. he wants them to deal with their more "real" problems like homework. that doesn't feel like he is trying to facilitate escapism in them. a real fantasy would encourage you to stay in it, wouldn't it?
and while ralsei is definitely invested in making sure the lightners are happy, there are always cracks that show. he isn't able to make kris ignore what happened in the spamton fight. he isn't able to convince susie to be peaceful and kind. and in his very essence, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas. very importantly, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas to kris.
this probably ain't your first fandom rodeo, so I'm not going to explain all the different ways that ralsei interacts with kris' personal issues. there's plenty of posts on it out there. what i will point out is, once again, it feels odd that a character who seems tailor made to bring up kris' most uncomfortable associations with their lack of agency and their outsider status in their own family would be part of a fantasy of escapism to them. you'd think that they'd prefer something that didn't have an inbuilt hierarchy, a prophecy that denied them autonomy, or especially a person that reminded them how little they fit into hometown.
that doesn't mean kris doesn't care about him at all - it seems very likely that they do. what I mean to say here is that he just seems ill-suited to an escapism reading, both behaviorally and on a conceptual level. it doesn't seem like that's at all part of his servitude towards the lightners.
of course, there is another non-lightner entity that ralsei seems diegetically engineered to serve. but I'll discuss that later.
now as for susie...
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yes, susie definitely views the dark worlds as more fun than the light world. and why wouldn't she? the light world sucks for her, and she doesn't seem very aware of the fact that the dark world can also suck. you could definitely make the argument that she views the dark worlds as a fantastical escape from reality... were it not for the fact that she treats her darkner friends with just as much importance as she does kris and noelle.
can someone treat components of an escapist fantasy as real and important? of course. but given deltarune's themes of agency and control, as well as the fact that darkners exist in servitude to the lightners, I feel like you'd have to make escapism tie into forcing others into a lack of agency if you wanted the theme to feel coherent with the rest of the work. this would require susie to be limiting the agency of the darkners around her. and obviously, she doesn't do that. her presence around them might be inherently limiting, just by simple virtue of being a lightner, but she isn't aware of it, and clearly is uncomfortable with the idea of limiting anyone's agency. she encourages ralsei to make choices. and she supports lancer in basically anything he wants to do. her treatment of lancer is integral to chapter 1's narrative, and it seems like that treatment of ralsei is integral to the ongoing narrative as well!
her preference for the dark world feels very rooted in her engagement with it as its own reality. rather than trying to avoid her real-life problems by engaging in a pretense, she seems to simply want to spend time with her friends in a place that isn't cruel to her. she isn't ignoring any of the dark world's problems in service of that, either. she notices when things don't line up. if she thought of it as a fantasy, wouldn't she be inclined to ignore issues that impede the fantasy?
and critically - like kris, she does not intentionally choose her imposed role in the prophecy at first. she steps into the role of bad guy to resist it, but that role is limiting too, and she eventually acquiesces to being a hero. it's never something she's completely on board with, though. she actively pushes back the limitations that the role places on her. I find this important to reiterate when we are discussing the notion of the characters viewing the dark worlds as fantasy.
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noelle has a complicated relationship to the dark worlds. susie tells her that it's a dream to make her accept the strange reality she finds herself in, which works well on her. she continues to think of it as a strange dream throughout the chapter. (though, like the others, it is not a 'dream' she entered of her own volition!)
it is also a markedly unpleasant 'dream' at times. she has her agency restricted, is kidnapped, has to evade a controlling monarch, and is even tied up in a weird evangelion cross thing on the hand of a giant robot. it's not purely fun. noelle does like scary things, and while it might be healthy for her to have an experience where she stands up to a controlling adult figure... again, the circumstances make it difficult for me to assume that this is a fantasy she would choose for herself. not impossible, mind you, but it's not the first reading of the situation that comes to mind.
and while she does say she wishes she could dream like this every day in the normal route, that does happen specifically because she was talking to the girl she likes. it makes sense she'd find that pleasant. I don't think that necessarily equates to her finding the dark worlds escapist.
and importantly, this isn't the sentiment that she expresses in every route.
again, there's a lot of analysis on snowgrave, so I won't bother regurgitating it much here. but it's nightmarish for both kris and noelle, and very likely fatal for berdly. noelle needs to believe that the event is a dream, for her own psychological safety, but one of the most important parts of snowgrave...
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...is that its events, and the world it took place in, are very, very real.
noelle wants to have the strength to face her problems, both in the regular route and in the snowgrave route. rather than escaping from them, she views the "dream" as a chance to practice dealing with her day-to-day issues. it's just that in the regular route she finds that strength authentically, and in the snowgrave route, that desire is manipulated and pushed until she is forced to kill berdly. she doesn't interpret snowgrave as an escape gone wrong. she views it as a dream that became a nightmare. and those are two extremely different things.
but i haven't even gotten to the biggest thing that undermines the concept that the dark worlds are a metaphor for escapism! which is: this fucking guy is dead wrong about everything.
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so full disclaimer - I really love berdly. I think he's slept on a lot in the fandom because he's annoying and weird. which is fair, I suppose, but I think ignoring him hinders a lot of people's understanding of deltarune's overall narrative. because berdly often illustrates a lot of concepts in the game, but his narrative framing as a joke (usually...) prevents the player from taking it completely seriously. he has things to say and ideas to show off, it's just that he's often very loud and kind of dumb in his expression of them. which is kind of the point!
ralsei brings up the idea that the darkners are meant to serve the lightners very seriously in chapter one. by extension, and by way of the literal mechanics involved in a dark world's creation, we can infer that this logic is probably something that also applies to the dark worlds themselves. they are allegedly worlds and characters that only are supposed to fulfill a dream of the lightners. but due to narrative framing and deltarune's themes, we know that that's not the full truth. however dark worlds and darkners are created, they deserve to have their own agency. they can't just exist to fulfill a higher being's wishes.
you know who else undermines that view of the dark worlds? berdly! berdly does!!!!
because berdly is the only lightner in the game so far who does take the dark worlds to be an escapist adventure! he wants to turn cyber world into smartopia. he views this as a chance to be a cool hero. he believes he's going to get the girl, he's going to shape this world to his own liking, and maybe also he's going to get queen to acknowledge him or something so he stops being a forgettable little bluebird. and not only does none of this happen, his steadfast belief that it will happen is continually a joke within the narrative!!
berdly's wishes for uncomplicated escapist fantasy are flat-out denied by the dark worlds themselves. as a lightner, those worlds should be serving him. he should have the power to do whatever he wants within the bounds of an escapist fantasy. these npcs should be singing his praises!
but he doesn't have the power. and this world doesn't sing his praise. because it just isn't an escapist fantasy. he isn't right to view it that way. his wishes for heroism are always going to be thwarted.
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so now that I've gotten all that out of the way, let's swing back over to the subject of your original ask. queen.
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because, like berdly, queen's entire character arc is about how she's completely wrong about what the lightners actually want.
queen would in fact like nothing more to place the lightners into an escapist fantasy. she believes that that's the best way to serve them and make them happy forever. as a darkner, queen has very much internalized the idea that a lack of control is what actually makes people happy. since darkners have no choice in their destinies and are supposed to be happy in it, and since she personally finds her role as a darkner fulfilling, she believes that that's true of all people everywhere. if you want to make people happy, you just have to remove that pesky personal agency!
so she spends the story trying to force the lightners and particularly noelle into situations where she controls them in order to make them ostensibly happier. she does genuinely believe that this is the right thing to do, but as she finds out eventually, she's just wrong. noelle doesn't want that. queen believes that escapism is why the lightners use the internet... but that's totally wrong too.
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while there are other searches mixed in, noelle is trying to use the internet to find her sister. instead of trying to hide from whatever happened, noelle wants to figure it out. queen's thesis about noelle and the lightners is proven wrong even before she personally encounters noelle in the dark world. it's just that queen doesn't realize it due to her limited perspective.
the concept of escapism being brought up with both queen and berdly is not there to say that the dark world is escapist. rather, it's there to say that it isn't. despite the dark worlds being a fantastical place, they are extremely real. to view them as a means of escape is foolhardy at best. you cannot act as though you are above consequences within them.
themes and ideas exist within the story for a sake of an audience. so let's get into the final character I need to discuss here. hopefully this will tie my thesis of deltarune together neatly.
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that character is of course us. the player.
when creating a piece of fiction, an astute author will often identify and anticipate an audience's reactions to certain things in their work, and write things in such a way that they elicit the desired reactions. in essence, a writer is directing the "character" of the audience. how we feel and how we are anticipated to react to things is an integral part of nearly every fiction.
that effect is far more overt when dealing with metanarrative fiction that diegetically involves the audience. since the fiction is saying a lot of things about the general 'you,' the audience in aggregate, your reactions to certain things in the story have to be finely cued and anticipated by the author, so that the author can thus commentate on the reactions that you have to the story. the "character" you are assumed to inhabit is posited by the author to have certain traits.
to explain what I mean in plainer terms, I'll use the player of undertale's no mercy route as an example. because undertale is commenting on the way rpgs generally work. the player's behaviors in no mercy are attributed by characters in the story to be the result of us acting like a typical gamer. we kill the characters in the game because we want exp. and more than that, it's because we want to see everything the game has to offer. the role we inhabit in this role-playing game is that of a completionist. you could say that that's assumed to be our "character" in no mercy.
deltarune also posits that certain things are true of its audience. by being written to evoke certain cultural ideas, rpg tropes, and references to undertale, it guarantees that its audience will probably have certain traits, and spends a large amount of its conceptual focus commenting on those traits. one of those traits is nostalgia, which is probably an idea that I'll expound upon in a further essay because it's quite integral to my reading of deltarune. but the main one I mean to discuss here, and why I went off on this tangent about how audiences are dealt with in metafiction, is that we are posited as someone who believes in the logic of certain narratives.
deltarune's writing evokes a lot of portal fantasy narratives. alice in wonderland, narnia, pretty much every story where it's revealed at the end to be all a dream... the story of deltarune superficially resembles a lot of those. this, I think, is responsible for the popularity of the escapism theory. because those stories are often at their end about a child learning to put away fantasy and grow up, people tend to believe that deltarune must be about the same thing. but I truly don't think that deltarune is trying to do anything with that aspect of portal fantasy narratives, at least not directly. its main characters aren't involved in that exact type of coming-of-age arc.
instead, deltarune is very concerned with what happens to characters in fantasy, and specifically fantasy rpgs. if your world is deemed to not matter because it's a dream, what does that mean for you, who has no choice but to live in it? if you are an npc whose role has been predetermined for you via script, then can you ever decide for yourself what you want? what if you want to matter? what if you want to be your own person?
as the major controlling force of deltarune, we are initially cued to believe that deltarune is like a dream. it superficially fulfills so much of what we want from undertale fanon. hometown seems like it's a perfect idyllic town, at least until you start noticing the obvious cracks. and remember what I said about ralsei earlier? he is so reminiscent of asriel, and extremely eager to help us. it's not a stretch to say that making us specifically view deltarune as dreamlike and idyllic is probably part of his purpose in the game.
I would not say that we are posited as escapist. but the idea of escapism as brought up with queen and berdly is meant to strike at the heart of a much deeper idea that deltarune is trying to deconstruct. because if we view deltarune as a dream, escapist or otherwise, then we are inclined to write the internal realities of the characters inside off. the dark world can disappear without it mattering. we can control kris without it mattering. if it's all a dream, what does it matter? why should we care to let its characters go free? aren't we supposed to be in control?
if deltarune is an rpg... what is the significance of us interacting with it?
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thegnomelord · 1 year
Text
Devotion in Steel
How They Worship You After The Hunt: Dottore, Childe, Zhongli.
So this is based off This idea I had about a cyberpunk reader in a cult!Sagau genshin, so this is just me testing the waters. I spent wayyy too much time on this one lol but this brainrot is still going strong.
CW: Suggestive themes, cult/yandere characters, reader is GN, mentioned gore for Zhongli part. First time writing Yandere's so tell me how it goes lol.
Dottore: Silent Curiosity
He does not worship you openly; he doesn't sing hymns about your mercy or your cruelty, nor does he press his face into the ground whenever you pass, like certain archons wishing for redemption. His worship is quiet. To the unworthy, the way he touches you — with clinically cold hands, examining every gear, and bolt, and piston with the same calculating gaze reserved for one of his machines — may as well be the highest form of sacrilege. Who is he to act as if you are just another of his toys? Who is he to not even say a single word to you? Who is he to touch and pull on your mechanical components like some urchin child toying with an object they do not realize is precious? But they can't do anything, because You do not see it their way. You do not stop or punish him, you encourage him; it isn't rare to find you two alone, him on his knees with your arm held in his hands, silently watching the moving mechanisms beneath your plating as you explain the intricacies of your mechanical form to him in that synthetic voice of yours that makes his bones tremble. His touch is clinical, precise, but it is by no means cold; His worship is conveyed through his actions. With reverence he cleans the dirt and grime from the seams in your armor, happy to stay on his knees for hours, days even, so long as not a single speck of dirt is left to mar your perfect body. With piety he polishes every gear, with admiration he oils every piston, worshiping even the smallest piece in your body like it is a holy relic. To Dottore, being able to see technology millennia ahead of his own and learn of knowledge yet undiscovered would have been bliss. But to feel it beneath his fingers? To feel it in his bones as that artificial voice of yours reveals the world's secrets? Heaven.
Tartaglia: Eager Veneration
Once, Tartaglia had only known of you from the stories his parents had told him; of a loving creator, a place of safety and solace in this harsh world. Later, when he fell into the Abyss, Skirk told him new stories of you, passed down to her by the denizens of the Abyss — ones his parents wouldn't have dared to utter lest they tempt Celestia to punish them for heresy. So when you descended, full of harsh edges and your body geared for battle, he embraced you as you were. He would have loved you regardless of your appearance, but something about the mechanical version of you made sense to him; Children resemble their parents after all, why should you have appeared like the demure little thing the tapestries depicted you as when Teyvat could be harsh, and cruel, and cold? He remembered his parents teachings, tried to be respectful like the other acolytes, on their knees, with their heads pressed to the ground. He would have done so happily, would have kneeled before you until he was nothing but bones, would have slaughtered countries in your name... yet the abyss gnawed on his bones, needing your attention like a babe needed a parent. So when you showed him favor? When you offered him to touch the divine metal of your cybernetic body? He couldn't stop himself. Anxiety tempered his eagerness, he did not seek more than what you offered him, yet his hands still glided over your skin and metal with the same energy as the little gears beneath your outer shell. Trembling fingers traced old dents and scratches that ripperdocs had neglected to fix, words of absolute devotion leaving his lips as he put his head to your chest, listening to the tik tik tik of mechanical organs beneath your chassis. But your weapons enchanted him the most. It reminded him so much of the Foul Legacy hiding under his skin; the promise of danger and death lurking beneath the surface, ready to be used as soon as a threat appeared — a similarity between you two that no one else could claim. He could spend days simply kissing and lavishing the seams in the armor, feeling where fake skin transitioned into metal which hid your weaponry from the world. Though you never allowed him more than a look, he yearned to touch them, to kiss the sharp blades, to feel his bones bend under your mechanical strength, to feel the monowire burn through his skin... Please, won't you let him? He survived the Abyss, he promises that he's tough, he can handle the pain... just this once, let him worship you, all of you, please?
Zhongli: Desperate Absolution
Zhongli is afraid; to touch, to breathe, to even exist near you. How can he not be, when he is the reason for your missing parts? Your aching joints? When he was the one who harmed you, who tainted your holy body with his hate and prejudice? When he was so prideful as to forsake his creator because they did not fit his own imagination? When the truth was revealed, the real impostor laying dead and your mechanical frame speckled with drops of your golden blood, he understood he was in no place to anything but bow and pray your fury would be swift and merciful, though he did not deserve it. Yet even as he knelt before you, head bowed so low it was flush with the ground and eyes shut tight, not daring to even glance at your metallic feet, a part of him still yearned for a chance at redemption; to earn back the chance to worship you, to earn your forgiveness through devotion. He would do anything for it; Kiss and lick the dirt off your mechanical feet, be at your beck and call till the end of time... If you wished to regain your lost parts — he would scour the far reaches of Teyvat until he found all the metal pieces you had lost, and those that were permanently damaged? He would carve his bones into shape, until they fit... If you told him to forfeit his flesh like you had done — he would claw at his skin until not a single scrap of meat hangs off his bones. He would happily wander the earth as a skeleton, grafting pieces of old Khaenri'ahn technology to himself until he resembled you, just so you could inflict the same wounds he had done to you... Yet you did no such thing. Even as his thoughts gained a voice, escaping his mouth through muffled whimpers, all you did was watch him, your mechanical gaze racking over his shivering form as he tried to stop his hiccupping cries. Truly pathetic. Then your fingers found his chin, gripping him in a bruising as you raised his head to look at you. Your mechanical eyes reflected in the tears running down his cheeks, the metal joints in your fingers nipping at his skin. His eyes met your cold gaze, and he wondered what you will ask of him — His eyes? His tongue? His arms? The impostor would have demanded all that and more... He would give it in a heartbeat. But please, find it in your cold heart to forgive him.
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Text
Tourist Destinations Of The Outer Planes
Mechanus: How dare you suggest there would be anything novel or unique in Mechanus?! To cog jail with you!
Arcadia: Like those normal towns with "world best fish and chips" except they're scrupulously fact checked. "Home of Arcadia's 3826th best B&B according to multiple double-blind studies (citations available on request)"
Mount Celestia: Pure and ineffable spiritual bliss in the face of the divine and, after that, a pretty decent pizza shop where you can get a t-shirt with your face when you learnt the true name of God.
Bytopia: Bytopia is the embodiment of the concept of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" and also the domain of the gnome deities, so if you've ever wanted to see the Great Wheel's only 24/7 prank youtuber live show where all the pranks revolve around how millennials need to spend less on avocado toast, you're in luck! If not, may I recommend the abyssal layer where snakes drink your eyes as a pleasant reprieve?
Elysium: Just a rabbit sat on a rock but because you're in Elysuim it's the best thing you've ever seen. You autodelete all memories of your wedding and children's birth and suchlike for being shit in comparison.
The Beastlands: Who's the best dog in the world? Who is it? This isn't a rhetorical question, there's an objective answer. You can see him for the low price of four acorns and a fancy rock.
Arborea: Don't be fooled by the signs! The natives of Arborea spend their time playing and dancing so they have things like open plan offices and tax return help-desks as vacation spots. Instead ask where the boring parts of Arborea are to be given directions to the firework waterslide music concert video game dance party.
Ysgard: Monuments to epic deeds literally everywhere. So many monuments they start sounding sarcastic. If you successfully get to your hotel room they erect a 15ft statue commemorating it.
Limbo: "Look, you had to be there. Literally, what I saw existed beyond the capacity of human words to describe and I weep tadpoles when I try to recall it in any detail"
Pandemonium: Great acoustic guitar scene. Well, we assume they're good. If nothing else, you have to admire their perseverance.
The Abyss: Go on Demogorgan's tour of all infinity layers! The most fucked up shit you've ever seen or your spinal column back guaranteed!
Carceri: Be in the audience at History's Greatest Monster, where the most evil people in history compete for the crown! If you're lucky, you might get an autograph before they're hurled back into their eternal prisons once more!
Hades: Fuck you.
Gehenna: Tourist traps, in the sense of big holes you fall in and have to give a deamon all your money before it will let you out.
The Nine Hells: The Nine Hells are a wonderful place to visit, with a wide varieties of eateries, vistas and attractions that you should visit before you die! I am not writing this under duress and you should not send help to
Acheron: One extremely dangerous theme park. It's cheap and there are few queues but be aware that sometimes the god of orcs will show up and use whatever ride you're on as a bludgeoning weapon. Overall nice atmosphere, 4 stars.
The Outlands: Alas, I'm pretty sure there's absolutely nowhere worth visiting in the outlands. Sorry guys.
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year
Note
Clownfish reader can be paired up with a few yans:
-Yandere Fisherperson who is a somewhat collector of rare finds of fish and has taken a liking to you so they keep you in a huge aquarium and keeps you there.
-Yandere Predator who was supposed to prey on you until they realized you were their perfect soulmate and decided to keep you for themselves whilst they hunt for you and keep you safe.
-Yandere Sailor who managed to stumble upon one of your performances that has them in a trance, They sail all over the seas just to find you and watch your performances until they were to capture you so you only perform for them and sail away with them.
-Yandere Kraken who has watched all of your performances and yet is somewhat jealous of the fact you still weren't theirs, They make sure to be at an appropriate distance that they can keep an eye on you and make sure you weren't frightened by them.
These are cheesy but meh, I still like the idea of Clownfish reader tho as long as they wear the orange black and white pattern as clown makeup.
(I combined the Predator + Kraken one because I felt they could work together)
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Another shipwreck.
So many of those recently. You feared for, and even attempted to entertain stranded humans until better help arrived. This wreckage was completely devoid of life, and its content spilled along the sea floor - making it grounds for you to savage parts for future acts. It wasn't stealing if no one was around.
You swim through the wreckage collecting whatever catches your eye. Shiny jewelry, things you could use to paint your face with on the surface- What's that? You drop nearly your entire horde to pick up one object. A long strip of metal with holes and held together by straps of leather. You've seen humans play with something similar before, blowing air through the top to make such lovely sounds. You try it yourself, but all that comes out is jets of water through the otherside. Obviously not what you wanted, but it still amuses you. You sit on a nearby rock and trying again with a deeper breath, blissful unaware of your surroundings.
Such a cute little fool you were.
Well fed and lethargic, the creature watches its destined mate amuse themselves from the shelter of the dismantled ship. Dinner and a show were such a beautiful mix. That obvious angel was next on the menu at one point in time, but the creature's stomach just wouldn't settle right if it ate something so sweet. Instead, it chose follow them and their humorous act - falling mad with love by the day. How comforting it was to see them smile when pleased a crowd, and how righteous it felt to devour those who turned away their loves generosity though both groups met the same ill fate as soon as their bethroned looked away. With all this talk of food, it was about time it shared its bounty with its lover.
You pause to sniff the air as a faint scent wafts through the ocean sky. It's fish, and not the kind you're used to. It's that stuff in cans you've discovered in other shipwrecks that was somehow even better than that. You swim over without even putting danger into question. At the source you find that cans with their lids popped, and fillets of fish the humans must've cooked. The skin is a little mushy thanks to the water, but you're too hungry to care. You look around as something grazes your back, just missing the tendril that retreats into the ship as you dive back in for another bite.
Adorable as always.
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hitomisuzuya · 9 months
Note
Hhh I need more yandere Scara please, just him fucking fem reader nonstop so that he makes sure that she succumbs into his possessive love (i wanna be obsessed over by this man fr 😭💖)
Yandere! Scaramouche x fem!reader. Smut. Obsessive and possessive Scaramouche.
Next to Heavy Dom, derogatory Scara, Yandere Scara is my favorite to write. What is it about Yanderes that is just so comforting? ❤️
Scaramouche was a very physical man when it came to showing possession. Especially when the object of obsession was you.
His grip would be bruising on your skin. His teeth would be rough as he sucked bruises onto your neck , your thighs, your collarbone. Any intimate place to get his mouth one was guaranteed to be bitten and bruised.
Scaramouche needed to make you feel good.
Needed to make you writhe, moan and scream for him.
He needed you.
He knew you would be never, ever leave him. But, he has to go the extra mile to make sure that that never happened.
Any modicum of pleasure you felt would come from him, and only him. While his cock was thrusting inside of your dripping cunt relentless, there wasn't one time where you wouldn't be seeing stars. Your fingernails digging into his back as you cried out that you were cumming.
The louder you cried out, the deeper his cock went into your cunt. Scaramouche groaned every time his cock kissed deep into your cervix. Yes, he was also going to go as deep as he could.
He needed you to crave his cock.
He needed you to crave him.
You could feel the blissful ache of Scaramouche's bruising fingertips sinking into your skin. He held you down by your shoulders, his mouth sucking harshly next to your throat.
His favorite possessive place to mark you was right next to your throat, the most vulnerable place on the neck. It always sent such a thrill through him when you showed your throat to him in submission.
Scaramouche could never get enough of you chanting his name like a mantra, with your legs wrapped around him. His hips snapped into yours, hissing in pleasure against your throat when you walls clamped tight around his cock.
"Fuck-" He groaned, tearing his mouth from your throat. He curled his fingers underneath your jaw, making you look at him with those beautiful eyes welling with tears of pleasure. "Tell me you love me. Fuck, I'm about to cum. Say it, say it," He demanded.
You gasped, his pace nearly taking your breath away as you writhed beneath him. "Sc-Scara-mmmngh--ah--," You looked up at him, whimpering before licking at his mouth submissively, "I love you. I love you so much."
That was all he needed for his cock to throb ribbons of cum inside of you. Ah, there was the look on your face that he loved to see. The look of complete and utter love and adoration, your eyes hazy in a state of fucked out bliss.
Love and adoration for him
You always sent him reeling. Scaramouche was never going to let you go.
He feverishly fucked his cum inside of you, his body shuddering in pleasure when he felt your release gush around his cock. Panting, he leaned down, licking at the other side of your throat before biting down on it.
Scaramouche never faltered, nor for one moment. "More, I need more," He babbled, his fingers finding your clit to stimulate you more.
You were his and only his.
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letsgetrowdy43 · 8 months
Text
Domestic bliss—
Quinn Hughes x reader
Request: Quinn asking his girlfriend to move in with him
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Quinn had been on a two-week roadie, and by the end of the second week, he wanted nothing more than to fly back to his apartment, to her, so he could be held in the comfort of his bed.
When the time came and he was home, pulling out his keys and unlocking the door, he was met with the reality of his dark and cold apartment. His house looked the same and when he had left, it was untouched and unloved in his absence and he hated it.
Quinn sent her a text asking her to come over for the night as he entered his bathroom to shower, the stress of the away games rolling off of his back with every step into his apartment, making it a ritual to leave the stress of work at the door, not bringing it into his safe space.
A soft smile took over his face as he opened his cabinet mirror to see her toothbrush in the cup, and many other little self-care items she had left in their designated spot in his bathroom. He loved that she took up room in his life, loved that he could go into every room in his apartment and see reminders of her, she was a constant presence and he loved it. Almost as much as he loved her.
She got in the door just as he got out of the shower, a shy smile on her lips as he walked out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel around his waist. "Hey dove," his cheeks grew flushed as he walked into the kitchen where she was leaning up against the counter, a growing grin on his face as she pulled him in for a hug, "missed you so much, you have no idea." "I think I have some idea," she whispered back, taking a deep breath and inhaling the smell of soft eucalyptus radiating off of him as she pulled away, she took his face into her hands and planted a kiss right on his lips, "now get dressed, I wanna make dinner and watch a movie."
He made a bee-line to his room to grab some clothes, a warm smile on his face as she trailed right behind him. Quinn dug up some pyjamas for himself and her, handing her an old shirt to change into as well, his eyes wandering as she stripped herself of her work shirt, a smirk on his lips as she caught his stare. "Creep," she mumbled as he shook his head. "Just admiring how perfect you are," he shrugged as she pulled the shirt over her head. The look of his old Michigan shirt on her made him weak in the knees, adoring how heavenly she looked, the fabric showing just the right amount of thigh, she was honestly an angel Her laugh was like music to his ears as she kissed both of his cheeks, her heart pounding as his hands gently squeezed her torso, never getting used to how electrifying his touch was on her skin.
She then stripped herself of her jeans, "can you grab me the shorts I left here last month," another example of her life overlapping with his, the thought of her clothes mixed in with his made him feel a little dizzy, the domesticity of it all was perfect. "And what if I don't want to?" he asked, a hint of suggestion in his voice as she rolled her eyes at him. "You want me to make dinner in my underwear?" He looked at her with a knowing look, "I wouldn't object." She let out a huff of fake annoyance, "fine," she grinned before making her way to the kitchen.
She stood over the stove, a grin on her face as she began making breakfast for dinner, his favourite comfort food. He loved how she just knew things about him like that, it made him feel all bubbly inside, heart-melting even.
He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her torso, head dipping in the crook of her neck as she started the scrambled eggs, "Dove, I think I'm obsessed with you," he mumbled into her skin, hands gripping her his shirt. Her face grew hot at the confession, but she played it off as if it had no effect whatsoever, "sounds a bit like a 'you' problem Q." "It is a problem, and a growing one, I can't get enough of you," he placed a wet kiss on the exposed skin of her neck, a chill running up her spine at the purest form of love he was displaying.
"I'm gonna burn the eggs if you keep it up." "Burn them for all I care, just need you," he grinned at the vibrations her laugh sent through him. "You can have me all you want the moment you're fed and we are in bed watching a movie" she reasoned as he let out a pretend groan and returned to unpacking his away bag.
Once dinner was done and eaten Quinn had taken it upon himself to load up the dishwasher, not wanting to put in the energy of hand washing, as she readied herself for bed and picked out the movie for the night.
She laid basically on top of Quinn as he ran his fingers through her hair, limbs a tangled mess as they watched whatever comedy she had decided to play. "You played really well this trip, you're getting really close to beating that record," she grinned into his skin. "You've been keeping up with my stats?" he asked, voice hoarse from the tired state he was in. "Of course, I watch every game," She moved up on the bed to be face-to-face with him, "I think I'm obsessed with you," she quoted him with a grin as he leaned forward to peck her on the lips.
He stared at her for a second, eyes tracing over her features, words on the tip of his tongue as her fingers ran up and down the length of his arm. "Y'know I was gone for two weeks and you were all I could think about," he whispered, his thumb gently running over the apples of her cheek, "and how I couldn’t wait to get home to you, I've never felt that way about anyone before."
She blinked, her eyes full of adoration as she smiled at his confession, "I missed you an unhealthy amount, always forget how much the distance sucks," her hand held the wrist of his that was cradling her face. "I'm sorry" "Don't apologize for living out your dreams," she shook her head slightly, "besides if you weren't you we never would've met, and I would never have the bragging rights that I have a hot superstar defenseman boyfriend, what's the fun in that?" He laughed as she leaned forward and kissed just below his eye, "I never really believed in soulmates, but if life had been different, I still think we would've made our way to each other," he mumbled, arm looping around her waist to pull her into his chest, chin resting on top of her head, "I would've made sure to find you, in this life, and every other one after it." "You're such a sap," he laughed again, her lips placed gentle open-mouthed kisses to his arm.
"All week I was itching to get home, and when I got here everything felt so wrong." "Why?" "You weren't here, my house was lacking my real home, you," he said truthfully, Her eyes began to water at his words, head dizzy from the amount of love she was holding for him. "And it made me realize that I don't think I ever want to come home to a house if you're not living with me in it," she pulled away to look at him again, his crooked smile found its way onto his expression, and his eyes were filled with some sort of relief from the revelation.
She returned his smile with a dopey grin, "are you asking me to move in?" "Only if you want to Dove, if you're not ready, that's okay, but I'd love to know that when I get home you'll be here waiting for me." The girl placed a kiss on the hand intertwined with her, "I'll always be here for you, for however long you'll have me," she admitted, a bit embarrassed by how her eyes had begun to water again and face filled with bush at her confession. "So forever sounds good to you?" she nodded as he dipped his head down to capture her lips in a slow kiss, not one filled with hunger, or desperation, no, one that showed his love for her. It was tender and caring, and so full of emotion that even his eyes began to fill with tears.
And in that moment he knew that this wasn't just about having some sort of domestic bliss with her, this was a future in the making, a whole life flashing before his eyes as her hands gently tugged at his damp curls. Melodic laughter left her lips as he broke away for a second to whisper a short ‘I love you’ before pulling her as close as humanly possible in to his chest.
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sinswithpleasure · 9 months
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Body Art [Female Reader, Futa]
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You're so close, almost there, just a bit more—
"Ning~," you moan, as your toes curl and grip the sheets, the two fingers deep in your dripping hole brushing right against the spot that you know will get you seeing stars. Your mind wanders—you think of the Chinese art student in the next room, naked, on her bed, pumping her cock with her fist. Too many times you've seen her bulge in the shorts she wears at home, and you're unable to keep yourself from imagining how it'd look when she pleasures herself. You think about how pretty she'd look with her legs spread, her hair fanned out across her pillow like a halo as she pleasures herself to orgasm, hot thick ropes of semen spraying across her stomach and hand as she cums.
"Oh, God, Ning, you look so hot like that, mm~!"
Her beautiful womanly body, right in front of you, all in your mind's eye. Her moans, soft, needy, the pleasure vocalized in her siren song. You're lost in it, in her, the image of Ning Yizhuo in your head pushing you closer and closer to bliss. 
Almost, almost—
"Fuck, I'm cumm—!"
"Oh dear, what do we have here?"
Bliss intermingles with shock as your pleasure-addled brain registers the object of your sexual desires leaning against your door, staring right at you with a smirk. You almost scream, but instead, you release a loud, drawn-out moan as your fingers relentlessly pump into your pussy. You're unable to stop—too far over the edge you've gone—and your hips buck with every wave of pleasure that washes over your body. Wave after wave of your juices rush over your fingers, and you can only let the conflicting emotions wash over you as you orgasm right in front of the one and only Ning Yizhuo. Slick flows freely between your legs and onto the bed, and Yizhuo feasts her eyes across your bare body, enjoying the show you've put on for her. She waits and watches you ride out your orgasm, the lust evident in her eyes.
"We have a naughty girl here, mm?"
Yizhuo steps over to you, and you instinctively move to cover up with your blanket.
"No, no, let me look at you." The Chinese girl smiles, and you stare at her hands as one of them slides right above the bulge in her tight shorts. The other reaches upwards to her off-shoulder top, and she begins to work the buttons open. 
"Ning—it's not what—" You scramble to lie, grasp for an excuse. Yizhuo wasn't supposed to be home! Didn't she go for a walk earlier?!
"Shhh…" You fall silent, and Yizhuo grins. Her top falls open, and you're greeted with the nice sight of her bare cleavage before she tugs the garment off her body. You keep your eyes on her, admiring your roommate as she undresses, her hair in a messy bun, strands of it falling over her eyes and framing her face. She looks gorgeous, and you feel your clit throb at the sight of her topless form, a soft moan escaping your lips. Dark brown nipples top off her large areolas, taut with arousal, and you want nothing more than to suck on her breasts right now. Yizhuo grins when she hears you.
"You thought I wasn't home, mm?" Yizhuo's saccharine voice is laced with sweet temptation. "So this is what you do when I'm not here…"
You feel the dip on the mattress as she climbs on right next to you. You breathe in, anticipating what she might do next, yet dreading it. 
"Brea~the, Yun." Yizhuo draws closer, and you release a shaky breath when she crawls over you, one hand right next to you to support yourself, the other now right at the waistband of her shorts, her thumb already digging under it. "I won't hurt you…"
She draws closer and closer—
Her orange bodywash smells so good—
"Unless you want me to."
Yizhuo's hot breath against your lips has you shuddering and whimpering, and you can't help but notice the lust burn deep in the Chinese girl's eyes when she pulls back. She looks like she wants to eat you, devour you, and you're more than willing to let her to. A rush of slick coats your fingers, and you begin to pump them into yourself once more, the slick sounds so lewd that you blush in embarrassment. You can't resist the moan of pleasure that pushes its way out of your throat, and that moan only intensifies when Yizhuo slaps your hand away from your dripping cunt and replaces your fingers with her own, thrusting into you hard. 
"Ni~ng!"
"Did you know how fucking hard I got listening to you moan, Yun?"
All you can muster as a reply is a drawn-out whine—Yizhuo's fingers feel so good against your walls. 
"That's right, moan just like that for me, Yun, baby…
"I was so close to finishing my painting, baby, and what do I hear, mm? I hear you fingering yourself, moaning my name with so much desire…" Yizhuo bites her lip, raking her eyes over your writhing body. "With your door open too, Yun, almost as if you wanted me to catch you…
"Tell me, mm, is that what you wanted? Have you ever wished that I'd come home early to catch you fucking your cunt and squirting while moaning my name?"
"Mmmgh~, N-Ning!" Yizhuo's filthy words render you unable to process anything but the pleasure and thoughts that it brings, and before you can even attempt to try, you yelp in surprise and pain when Yizhuo slaps your pussy hard.
"My name is not an answer, baby. Let's try again, shall we?
"Did you fuck yourself like that wishing that I'd catch you one day fucking yourself for me?"
"Y-Yes, yes, Ning, yes!" You choke out the words as a tear rolls out of your eye at the shock, pain, and pleasure. All you get is another slap right on your sensitive clit—you buck your hips at the pleasure, and you gasp as the sensations wash over you. 
"God, you're such a slut, aren't you, Yun? Wishing to be caught cumming by the girl you so desire so badly that you exhibit yourself like that…" Yizhuo trails off to softly groan as she rubs herself over the shorts. "Congratulations, dear—I'm here to take care of it now."
You watch with bated breath when Yizhuo pushes her shorts off her hips. She pulls it off her body and throws it aside, and you don't even mind that her hands aren't on you for now—what has your attention is her cock, stiff, the tip red and angry, precum dripping from the slit and collecting on her foreskin. You marvel at the size of it—God, she's thick, just like you thought—and you can't help but squeeze your legs together at the thought of Yizhuo hilting deep into you, emptying her balls into your needy cunt. As Yizhuo moves in front of you, so do your eyes while you give her space, and you watch as Yizhuo grabs your legs and forces them open to push herself flush against you. Her cock brushes against your clit, and she begins to slap your cunt with it, the wet sounds and sensations drawing whines of embarrassment and pleasure from you. 
"God, I've wanted to feel this since I heard you just now, Yun, fuck…" Yizhuo begins to softly thrust against your nether lips, coating her shaft in your slick. "I couldn't resist stroking knowing you were touching yourself to me, and I'm so happy I came over to catch you."
Yizhuo looks almost heavenly as she prepares you to take her cock. You finally get to hear her groan as she gets wetter—precum drips from her tip onto your skin, and you're coating her shaft in more of your juices. As your eyes trail up her body, you can't help but notice the way her breasts slightly jiggle with each soft thrust. You admire how fucking hot she is, and your hips buck once as more slick coats her shaft. 
"I wanna put it in you so bad, Yun…" The Chinese girl finally admits her desire, and you don't bother hiding how much you want it either. 
"Please, put it in me, please, Ning!"
At your consent, Yizhuo pushes herself into you. You choke back a moan—the Chinese girl's huge cock stretches your walls out thoroughly, and her husky breaths accompany your sounds of pleasure as more and more of her cock disappears into you. 
"Fuck, Yun, so ti~ght—"
"Ni~ng!"
You swear Yizhuo might tear you open if she starts moving—
Eventually, your roommate hilts into you, and both of you catch your breaths at the intense pleasure that washes over both of you. You feel so full, so filled with the Chinese girl's cock, and you think you might be addicted to it now—this sensation is all you've craved since you've known about her cock, and you never want it to end. 
"How does it feel, Yun?" Yizhuo is just as breathless, just as overwhelmed, but she still maintains her control over you. "How does it feel to finally have my cock deep in your tight cunt?"
"I… I f—Fuck!" You barely manage to stutter out a reply as Yizhuo begins to move. She gives you neither her mercy nor a chance to reply—her cock slides halfway out before she slams it back into you to the hilt again, rocking your body with her thrust. 
"I don't think 'Fuck' isn't a reply to that question, Yun, dear." Yizhuo slowly pulls out again, and before you can retort, she pumps herself back in, moaning out loud at the tight squeeze of your cunt. "Does my cock—oh, fuck…—feel that good that you've forgotten how to speak?"
"Mmh, Ning~! Ning, you feel… oh, God, so good, fuck, Ning, fuck~!" Your moans mix in with your reply, and Yizhuo begins to leave soft kisses all over your breasts as she hears you out. You cradle her head as her tongue glides over a stiff nipple, and you only get louder when her thrusts slowly begin to increase in speed. 
"I'm gonna make you feel so good you're screaming, Yun."
The pleasure of Yizhuo's cock rubbing against your walls threatens to drive you crazy. Her cock feels so hard, so warm in you, and you can't believe that you're starting to get used to the stretch. Her cock is thick, so thick, and it fills you up entirely—you swear she might even bulge your tummy with every thrust. As Yizhuo ramps up her thrusts, you begin to release a stream of unintelligible moans—the Chinese girl is beginning to use your pussy well, and she's feeling just as good as you do, if her soft grunts and moans are any indicator. 
"Ning, fuck, fuck, yes, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!"
Yizhuo doesn't even bother with a reply—instead, she fucks you harder with each plea. Her hands grip your hips, and she holds you down. Next thing you know, Yizhuo takes off—she begins to pound your cunt. 
"Oh my God, oh my God, Ning, Ning, Ning, fuck, Ning!"
Your eyes begin to roll back in your skull as Yizhuo begins to fuck you. The wet claps of your flesh against hers are deafening, and so are your cries of pleasure. Your roommate gives you no mercy—she now pulls herself all the way out and pumps her full length into you with every thrust. Every stroke gives you whiplash—you alternate between being painfully empty and tightly stretched over and over, and the sight of Yizhuo's breasts jiggling with every hard thrust, mixed with her thumb rubbing circles on your clit leaves you dizzy. 
"So wet, so tight, fuck—!"
"Ning, fuck, I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm going to cum all over your cock!"
With a loud scream, your hips buck once, twice, and a strong gush of your juices spray onto Yizhuo's body, before more of your cum leaks down between your legs. You shudder uncontrollably as Yizhuo's cock is forced out of your cunt, the pleasure of that orgasm sending your eyes rolling back into your head, jaw slack, moans uncontrolled. In an instant, you feel Yizhuo's hands on you—she fingers you hard and fast, her other hand rubbing your clit, and you scream once more as more squirt gushes out of your cunt, drenching the sheets even more. 
"That's right, just like that, squirt for me just like that!"
You barely even manage to process Yizhuo's words—right as your orgasm finally subsides, your roommate has her cock rubbing against your folds again. Without warning, Yizhuo once again pushes her cock into you, her shaft easily sliding in. 
"Yizh—fuck, I—Ning!—I can't, pl—I can't—!" You're delirious with pleasure, and the overstimulation has you protesting, but deep down you know you don't mean it.
"Yes you can, and you will, Yun. You want this as much as I do."
Yizhuo wastes no more words—she shifts your legs above her shoulders, and you're crying out in pleasure when the Chinese girl mounts you and rocks your world with a hard thrust, then another, and another. You feel yourself physically rock as Yizhuo pounds your cunt, and you scream as she begins to fuck you faster, harder. She gives up on keeping her moans in as well, her pleasure vocalized alongside yours in grunts and swears. You almost seem to fall into a trance, but you're kept grounded by the rhythmic thrusts that Yizhuo perpetually sends against your body, her cock stretching you out with every stroke, pushing you towards another orgasm.  
"Fuck, Yun, God, your pussy's going to make me fucking cum, oh God, fuck…" Yizhuo bites her lip, a guttural whine-turned-moan ending her sentence. "You're going to feel so full when I'm done—"
Want, want, want, want—
"Oh, fuck, fill me, Ning, fill me, fill me, fillmefillmeFILLME—!" You're already screaming even before either of you reach your peak. You're close, so close, and you can feel Yizhuo's cock growing bigger inside you—!
"Fuck, Yun!"
You barely even manage to catch the precursor before you feel warmth explode deep into you. Yizhuo's body grows stiff over you, and her hips stutter, cock twitching with every burst of hot semen that bursts into you, painting your walls white. At the same time, you gush against her body and drench her cock with your cum, a long moan being all you can manage as your second orgasm washes over you. Burst after burst of your squirt soaks the sheets beneath you as Yizhuo's cock fills you with more and more cum, until you feel it leak from the gaps between your hot connection, every time Yizhuo pulls out to fuck more of her cum back into you. 
When Yizhuo pulls her softening cock out of you, you fall limp in exhaustion, dizzy from the pleasure. Your roommate is in the same state, but she shifts up to you and mutters "Cuddle" before her arm wraps around you to pull you to a dry spot, into her embrace.
"Ning…?"
"Please?" The Chinese girl right now is a far cry away from the girl that's just topped you in bed. "We can talk about this later. Just let me cuddle!"
Who're you to deny her adorable request, you think, and you sink into Yizhuo's arms, her breathing eventually slowing to a slow rhythmic lull that leaves you sleepy as well. 
"Fuck it, we'll deal with this later."
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fantasyescapes17 · 1 year
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Patience (Part 1)
An elaborate charade- that is what your life has been for these past few years, and it has taken the help of more than one person to balance your delicate lies and secrets. Now entering your final season as an eligible young lady seeking wedded bliss, will you be able to keep up the act in order to achieve your dreams?
Genre: Choi Seungcheol x female!reader. Regency!AU (It's sort of Bridgerton-esque in the sense that I give zero attention to historical accuracy and prioritize aesthetics lmao) You are Jeonghan's sister so your last name is Yoon, but the reader has no other specific characteristics, physical or otherwise.
Word Count: 4.1k+
Part 2
Series Masterlist
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"I'm afraid the upcoming season will be Miss Yoon's final opportunity to secure herself a decent husband," the obnoxious woman remarked. 
She did not seem embarrassed that the subject of her gossip (i.e, you) sat immediately across from her in the lavish parlour and well within earshot. She looked straight at you and silently dared you to respond to her callous comment. 
You did not indulge her. You merely sipped your tea. 
"Oh, surely not," her friend replied with a hint of embarrassment. "You mustn't say that, Mrs. Patty! Miss Yoon still has plenty of time before we can write her off as an old maid. She should be perfectly eligible for another two or three seasons, I dare say."
"She might have been, if not for that darling younger sister of hers. I believe little Miss Mina is eighteen now, and will be making her debut in society next season. Am I correct, Miss Yoon?" Mrs. Patty demanded of you. 
You couldn't ignore a question addressed directly to you. You placed your teacup on the table and nodded reluctantly. 
"Yes, Mother believes that my sister should be ready to debut next year," you replied softly. 
Miss Patty looked triumphant. "Well! There you have it! Anyone who has laid eyes on Miss Mina knows that she is the loveliest little creature and I am sure her paltry dowry will not prevent an eligible man from proposing to her. Miss Mina will be snatched up  instantly- and then what shall happen to our dear Miss Yoon? With her younger sister married before her, she won't have a chance!"
The other woman frowned. "Indeed, Miss Mina is uncommonly beautiful. She will have her pick of eligible men."
You rose from your seat abruptly. "Pardon me, ladies. I shall call for some more tea and cakes- we seem to be running short."
You exited the parlour before they had a chance to object, and cursed your mother for leaving you alone to handle the guests. Mother should have known that these infuriating women would show up the instant they heard that the Yoons had arrived in London for the season.
You turned towards the kitchens, hoping that the maids would not offer to help and make your journey redundant. Luckily, the servants were busy unpacking and carrying in your family's belongings. It had been a long journey from the countryside to your London abode- but a necessary one. The Yoon family could not absent themselves from the London season when they had two eligible members of marriageable age.
You turned the corner of the main hallway and came face to face with the other eligible Yoon. Your half-brother, Jeonghan. 
"Jeonghan!" you called out to him hopefully. "Are you going out? Will you take me with you?"
Jeonghan was in the process of lacing up his riding gear and stood to greet you. As your father's only son from his first marriage, Jeonghan became the heir to the entire Yoon estate upon your father's passing. 
"I'm afraid not, sister- I am going out riding with the Lees. You would be required to bring a chaperone," he replied slyly, reminding you, quite unnecessarily, that you could not be seen in public in the company of other single men without a female chaperone present. 
You sighed. "All right- but could you stop by the parlour room before you leave?"
"Why? So that Mrs. Patty may set up a meeting for me with her third niece? There are many things I would do for you, dear sister, but subjecting myself to Mrs. Patty is not among them," Jeonghan replied calmly as he continued to tie the straps of his riding gear. "I am sacrificing plenty for you already. I shall have my hands full at the Grisham's ball tomorrow."
You blinked. "What will happen at the Grisham's ball?"
"I have heard that a certain Mr. Hessington has expressed an interest in you. We shall have to take precautions to ensure he does not find the opportunity to express this interest in front of your mother."
"Oh dear. What does Hessington want?" you despaired. 
Jeonghan smirked. "He wants marriage. They all do. That is the purpose of this elaborate charade of having a season and attending all these social events, is it not? To find a suitable partner in  marriage?"
"Jeonghan, there is only one season left," you reminded him miserably. You reached for your brother's arm. "You must make sure nobody proposes to me this season. From next year everyone will focus on Mina and I will be forgotten- and once she is married then my prospects will be entirely extinguished. You must ensure nothing comes in the way of this."
Jeonghan sighed. "You must be the only woman in London who is actively trying to make herself less eligible for marriage."
"And I have been doing a wonderful job so far. Mrs. Patty said herself that I'm as good as an old maid next season if Mina gets engaged before me. And she surely will be. After that, they'll throw me aside with the old maids and governesses and widows."
"Six months more?"
You nodded eagerly. "Six months more. I will be in your debt forever, Jeonghan."
He sighed. "You certainly shall be. I've become nothing short of a villain in my step-mother's eyes since you persuaded me to tell her that I had reduced your dowry. She has most of the ton convinced that I am an evil brother stealing his sisters' rightful inheritance."
"But we had to do that. A large dowry would make me attractive to men looking to marry for a fortune," you reminded him. 
Jeonghan sighed. "I know. All the same, I've set aside your money. You and Mina will have your dowries once this charade is over. All of the dowry, I mean, not the paltry amount I told your mother you would receive."
You shook your head with a smile. 
"I don't need it."
"Don't refuse money when it's offered to you, good god, woman, have you lost your senses?" Jeonghan said lightly. He placed his hands on his hips and smiled back at you. "You seem more cheerful  than usual."
"We're almost at the end of this charade. Six more months," you replied excitedly. 
"Well, do try to look less cheerful. For all the ton knows, you're a woman with little dowry, no prospects, a prettier younger sister, and getting on in age. People will begin to wonder what you have to be so happy about."
You smiled to yourself. 
You had plenty to be happy about. And Mrs. Patty and the rest of the ton could choke on their tea and biscuits- they would never find out.
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Your mother maintained a tight grip on your arm as she steered you around the corners of the large ballroom on the Grisham's summer estate. 
Your arm was beginning to feel numb.
"Now," your mother said firmly. "Don't you be discouraged by what Mrs. Patty says. You're a young woman of good breeding and though you're not nearly as charming as Mina, there's nothing wrong with you. Lesser women than you have secured wealthy husbands, do you understand?'
You resisted the urge to sigh. "Yes, mother."
"But you mustn't become lax about this. You need to consider what might happen to us if … if that boy Jeonghan decides to cast us out. You and your sister must marry well before that happens."
You turned to your mother in surprise. "Mother! Jeonghan would never do such a thing!"
Your mother had very little love for her stepson and she was not shy about admitting it. "Well, he's already stolen half your dowries, there's no knowing what he'll do next. We may be on the streets soon. Even sooner, if he decides to marry and his new wife decides to be rid of us. Your marriage is important."
You sighed. "Yes, mother."
"Now put on a smile and look a little more graceful."
You took a deep breath and straightened your shoulders. It was a delicate line you walked in social events such as these. You had to look dignified and well-mannered enough to satisfy your mother, but not so captivating that you captured the attention of any potential suitors. It only got easier with time. You were older and consequently less attractive than the young girls in the room, and the ton would certainly have heard the news of your reduced dowry. 
You tried not to make eye contact with any men as you quietly moved through the crowd like a wallflower. You were suddenly and abruptly met by a very tall man that appeared before you. 
"Miss Yoon. May I have the pleasure of the next dance?"
You breathed a sigh of relief as you recognised the man. He had a mischievous smile on his face. "Mr. Kim! Oh thank heavens, I was worried that it was an actual suitor."
Mr. Kim Mingyu had the decency to look offended as he took your hand and swept you skillfully towards the dance floor for a lively waltz. 
"Do you think that we would allow an actual suitor within ten feet of you? We've been doing this for three years now, Miss Yoon. We're professionals now, I dare say. There's one of us stationed in each section of the room and we are ready to intervene in case any man shows the slightest bit of  interest towards you."
You laughed. "Well, don't I feel well-protected."
"You are."
"I'm very sorry that you all have to spend your social gatherings watching out for me in this manner. Hopefully, this is the last season that this will be required," you apologised honestly. 
"Nonsense. I rather enjoy it," Mingyu chuckled. 
You shook your head. "I don't believe you. Surely you would rather save your dances for a woman in whom you have a genuine interest? I notice that the young lady in cerulean blue over there cannot keep her eyes away from us."
Mingyu cleared his throat and took a quick peek in the direction you nodded your head. "Ah. Well, that can't be helped. She's better off without me in any case, I've garnered a reputation as a rake. Dancing with me would only tarnish her prospects."
You raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"
"Yes," he replied simply. 
"I suppose I cannot argue- being in the unique position of not caring about my own prospects makes me a poor judge. May I ask what you have done to have yourself labelled as a rake by the ton?" you enquired. 
Mingyu smiled. "Other than being naturally charming, rich and handsome?"
"I'm afraid those qualities make for an eligible bachelor, Mr. Kim, not a rake."
Mingyu merely chuckled without offering further explanation as the dance came to an end. He gracefully led you off to the side, where you were drawn into a conversation with some other co-conspirators- namely Mr. Lee Seokmin and Mr. Kwon Soonyoung. 
"Miss Yoon," was the cheerful greeting you received from a grinning Mr. Kwon. "I hope your quest to prevent all offers of matrimony fares well? I am pleased to report that the ton seems to be losing interest in you."
You smiled gratefully. "You bring glad tidings, Mr. Kwon. But I heard that Mr. Hessington…."
"Mr. Hessington is being informed of your reduced dowry and impending state of poverty at this very moment," Mr. Lee Seokmin reassured you. His eyes subtly darted towards the other end of the ballroom where your half-brother was in the middle of a conversation with Mr. Hessington himself. You could not hear what was being spoken, but there was no mistaking Mr. Hessington's alarmed expression at whatever Jeonghan said to him.  
"Delightful," you replied. 
"We have further pleasant tidings for you," Mr. Kwon continued. His hand slid into his waistcoat and he cast a furtive glance around before withdrawing something and slipping it surreptitiously into your hands. You tucked it away into the folds of your gown hastily- but not before ascertaining that it was a small envelope. 
Your eyes brightened in anticipation. "Could it be…"
"Indeed," Mr. Kwon replied with a large smile. "I was able to stop by a certain estate that shall remain unnamed on my way to London, and catch up with a dear friend of ours. He bid me to deliver a letter by hand that he dared not risk sending by post, lest it be intercepted by unwelcome parties. It will be safe, I trust, in your possession?” 
You couldn’t hold back your smile. “Very safe, indeed.”
“I certainly hope so, because your mother approaches us and she looks rather red in the face.”
Your plans to sneak away to a quiet corner and read your letter were thwarted instantly by the approach of your mother. She was flushed and huffing, although she attempted to calm herself when she noticed that you were in the company of Mr. Kwon and Mr. Lee- while they were not the most eligible bachelors in the room, they were eligible and rich enough for your mother to greet them with her politest smile.  
“Mr. Kwon, Mr. Lee. What a pleasure to see you in London,” she tittered.  “I do hope you will find the time to call on us for tea later this week."
They both greeted her politely and accepted her invitation with the usual graces, before your mother took hold of your arm and steered you away from them. 
"Is everything all right, mother?" you asked, concerned. 
"All right? I have just heard- the most terrible news- Mr. Hessington had expressed an interest in courting you but that odious brother of yours has gone and told him about your dowry! I have half a mind to expose that conniving little man for what he is- a thief, a monster-"
"Mother, you must calm down," you insisted gently. "There must be some misunderstanding-"
Your mother was distraught. "Oh, what shall we do? If you are not married this season- we shall be left on the streets unless Mina marries exceedingly well but if that boy Jeonghan continues to ruin her prospects as well-"
"Nobody could ruin Mina's prospects. She is the sweetest, prettiest creature and you know everyone will fall in love with her when she comes into society. Perhaps we should accept that my time is coming to an end, mother…."
"No! No, you cannot give up, my dear. We shall find you a husband this season!"
You sighed. "Yes, mother-"
"Go, go back to Mr. Kwon and Mr. Lee- perhaps one of them will ask you to dance, they seem like nice young gentlemen and the evening is not yet over…"
You extricated yourself from your mother- but instead of returning to company, you slid along the length of the ballroom until you succeeded in finding a remote and private corner behind a table of refreshments and some heavy curtains. You eagerly pulled out the small envelope Soonyoung had given you and unfolded its contents as your heart swelled in anticipation. 
My love,
It has been too long since we last spoke. I hope you and your family are well. Although I have met your brother a few times this year and heard news of you from him, it saddens me that you must always be so far away from me. 
I will be travelling to London on business next week- I may not be able to stay the entire season, as you know well, but may I be so bold as to ask for a glimpse of your beautiful smile while I am in the city? I would be honoured if you would grant me a dance at Almack's on Thursday night. But do not put yourself to trouble, my love- if the thought of meeting me in public makes you uneasy or if your feelings for me have changed during our separation, know that I would never resent you. I desire nothing more than your happiness and well-being. 
Forever yours
S. 
Your heart danced wildly as you tucked the contents back into the folds of your dress. It had been too long since you had received a letter from Seungcheol- a few close calls with your nosy mother intercepting your mail had made it too dangerous for him to write to you by normal post. 
But to finally see him again after so many months apart! And on Thursday, so soon! You had to turn your face to the wall to hide your giddy smile. Three years of a secret, clandestine courtship had not diminished your adoration of the man in the slightest. You still felt as strongly for Mr. Choi Seungcheol as you had the very first time he smiled at you with his bright smile and took your hand in his gentle grasp for your very first dance, so many years ago. 
You took a moment to compose yourself (it would not be appropriate to be seen looking so giddy) and slipped out of your corner. Your brother had been poking around at the refreshment table and he approached you when he saw you- Jeonghan's expression was grim. 
"I think I shall avoid dining at home for the time being," Jeonghan told you drily. "I fear my step-mother may really intend to poison me for what I have done tonight."
You sighed. You were not ignorant of how much Jeonghan had sacrificed for your sake. "I am sorry for the trouble I have put you through because of all this, Jeonghan. I will try to calm my mother."
His eyes softened. "I don't require an apology from you, sister."
"Gratitude, then?" you offered gently. 
"If you could keep your mother away from any sharp objects or poisonous substances, that should be sufficient recompense for now," he replied with a chuckle. "So. I heard from Mr. Kwon that a certain Mr. Choi will be in London in a few days."
You bit back a smile. "Yes."
Jeonghan patted you on the arm gently. "I am glad you will have a chance to see him. Perhaps we can arrange to have your mother occupied elsewhere for the evening…"
You shook your head. "I will handle mother myself, Jeonghan," you reassured him. "You have done plenty. "
Jeonghan looked contemplative for a moment. "I sincerely hope you and Seungcheol can be happy together soon, sister. I would not have put my own reputation at stake if I did not hold his character- and yours-  in the highest regard."
You smiled. A genuine compliment from Jeonghan was rare, and that made it all the more precious. You squeezed his hand on your arm. 
"Thank you, brother."
"Now- let us walk away quickly. I see Mrs. Patty approaches and she has that idiotic niece of hers right behind her…"
—----------------------------------------------------
The days trickled past slowly and painfully until Thursday evening finally arrived. Through your own clever manipulations, you had persuaded your mother to attend a card party being held by Mrs. Patty and to allow you to attend Almack's alone chaperoned by Viscountess Hong- one of the few married young women that your mother could be persuaded to entrust you with. 
"I hope, Viscountess, that you will recommend my daughter to some of your acquaintances," your mother pressed. "You have done so well for yourself. I hope you can be a positive influence on her."
Viscountess Hong smiled. She had not been married long; her husband, Viscount Joshua Hong, had been renowned as one of the most eligible bachelors in London not long ago. It did not come as a surprise to anyone when their marriage was announced in the papers, however. The gossip-minded members of the ton had long known that Viscount Hong was smitten with a young lady of humble origins. 
Your mother admired any woman who could achieve the difficult task of marrying above her station. 
"I will be a responsible and careful chaperone, Mrs. Yoon. You may rest assured that I will take excellent care of your daughter for the evening," the Viscountess promised. 
Your mother waved you off and you could not help the butterflies that erupted in your stomach as you climbed into the Hongs' carriage. Viscount Hong was waiting outside and greeted you in his usual kind and pleasant manner. 
You thanked him nervously. "I'm very grateful for your invitation. I was worried that my mother would not be persuaded to let me visit Almack’s tonight without a female  chaperone."
Viscountess Hong took your hand warmly. "Of course, we would never allow that! I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Seungcheol often this past year, and the man never smiles quite as brightly as when someone mentions your name. I'm afraid the man is quite devoted to you, Miss Yoon."
You felt shy, and bit your lip. "I-I do care for him a great deal."
Viscountess Hong beamed.
It was a pleasant carriage ride to Almack's- the Hongs kept you engaged in conversation and their friendly presence helped calm your nerves. As Viscountess Hong told you about the day she first met her husband, your mind drifted back to your own fateful introduction to Mr. Choi Seungcheol four years ago. 
—------------------------------------
The estate was magnificent. 
"Oh! A marble fountain! It is so beautiful!" your younger sister Mina cried out in delight at the sight of the immaculate gardens and the enormous white fountain that towered in the centre, gently spouting water. 
Your mother (despite being notoriously difficult to impress) also looked at the enormous estate and manor appreciatively. "Indeed, this estate is quite lovely. Perhaps we should plant some flowers like those back home. You say this manor belongs to Mr. Choi?" she asked your brother. 
Jeonghan nodded. "Yes- Mr. Choi Seungcheol was a close friend of mine at Oxford. His father passed away two years ago and he inherited the estate. He was more than happy to invite us all to stay at the manor while I take care of some business here in Derbyshire.  The weather is lovely here this time of year."
"Very generous," your mother remarked thoughtfully as a servant unloaded the marriage behind you. "And… is there a Mrs. Choi?"
Jeonghan smiled tightly. "There was. she passed away in childbirth four years ago."
"He is a widower, then. And has a child," your mother remarked, displeased. 
Jeonghan nodded. "Yes."
"Pity," your mother whispered to you, as she took your arm and walked towards the manor out of Jeonghan's earshot. "I was almost beginning to imagine you being mistress of this lovely estate. But you may find a way to have a marble fountain without having to marry a widower."
You blinked at your mother in surprise. It was no secret that she had not been your father's first wife. 
"But you married a widower," you said, surprised. 
Your mother shot you a sharp look. 
"Exactly, my dear."
Before you could question her further on this hypocritical viewpoint, the entrance to the manor burst open. Servants emerged to unload your carriage and carry your things inside. They were followed by a tall, well-dressed man with a handsome smile that you barely managed to glimpse before your view was blocked by your brother stepping into your path. 
“Seungcheol!” 
The two men shook hands warmly, and you could see from Jeonghan’s unusually relaxed manner that he carried a great deal of affection and trust for Mr. Choi. They exchanged greetings for a moment, before Jeonghan finally stepped aside and allowed you to feast your eyes on Mr. Choi properly. 
“Seungcheol- allow me to introduce you to my family. My father’s wife, Mrs. Yoon- and my two sisters, Miss Yoon and Miss Mina.” 
You curtsied without taking your eyes off the startlingly handsome man. Seungcheol bowed politely in return. His manner was calm and suited a respectable and confident man- but there was something in his large eyes that sparkled with liveliness and joy. You had seen handsome men before- Jeonghan often had friends over for dinner and you had spent time in society. 
But no man had ever made you feel quite so giddy. 
“We are very grateful for your hospitality, Mr. Choi,” your mother said performatively. “Your estate is lovely. My daughters and I were just discussing how delightful that marble fountain is.” 
Seungcheol smiled and glanced at the fountain. “Ah- yes, that was my own personal selection. I am rather fond of it myself. And allow me to say, madam, that it is a pleasure to be host to you and your lovely daughters. Your arrival has been long-awaited- not only by myself but by certain other members of my household.” 
It was only then that you finally tore your eyes away from Mr. Choi’s smile and noticed that another person stood behind him. A small, dark-haired boy of no more than four years old with the same bright eyes as Mr. Choi was clinging shyly to his father’s legs. 
“Allow me to introduce my son- Jiwoo.” 
-------------------------
A/N: So this is my first time posting for Seventeen! I used to have a moderately successful fanfiction blog for a different kpop group on here a few years ago but I took a break and just wanted to start afresh since Seventeen is the only group I keep up with these days, and I miss writing.
I mostly plan to write some fantasy AUs over the next couple months (got some more regency, royal and other fantasy ideas brewing) so we'll see how it goes.
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imagine waiting for bucky
angst/fluff
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The sound of sirens echoed in your eyes and the phantom touch of his hand on yours burned your soul. It was dramatic, but that’s how you felt. Every time he looked in your direction, it hurt. How could this have happened? Months of bliss and bed sharing, his fingers on your skin – his mouth on your neck. The way his arm would sling around your shoulders, walking side by side until you got too silly and wouldn’t stop bumping into him. He’d call for a truce, pull you in for a kiss; every time, it never failed and now he’s standing in front of you after disappearing for months.
“How have you been?”
“Is that supposed to be a joke? I’m not in a funny kind of mood, I’m working.”
Bucky held his tongue because he had no right to object to the tone of your voice or the disdain in your eyes; although he hoped it was all feigned, for show. There were agents everywhere and you were certain you were needed somewhere, so you made it known and began to walk away but then he did the one thing that could stop your heart. He called out your name. Turning back to him, you gave an exhausted what and he walked to you. “Can we talk, please.”
“No.” You were blunt, and he flinched, but he wouldn’t budge. Shoulders collapsing from the tension, you sighed. “I can’t James…”
James.
Ouch.
“I owe you an explanation, let me explain.”
He owed you more than an explanation for his disappearance; if time was something that could be bargained or allotted, he’d owed you a bountiful amount. If love could be calculated and weighed, he’d owe a ton. If you weren’t such a foolish person, you would have never allowed him to approach you but here you were, a foolish fool.
“When I look at you, it hurts.” You confessed; eyes fixated on Bucky. “You’ve been gone for seven months without a goddamn word. Even Sam wouldn’t say where you were; how do you think that made me feel? You’re no coward, Bucky, if you didn’t love me…then you should have told me.”
The man’s demeanor shifted; his fist clinched and his eyes hardened. The change made you angry because what did he have to be angry about? He was the one that left you, he wasn’t the one that put their heart on the line just to be forgotten.
“I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you…but I -I was afraid.” What was there to be afraid of, you questioned, and his eyes softened. “After everything I’ve done, I don’t deserve to have you.”
“Grow up,” you snapped, stepping to him. His eyes matched yours and you reached up, giving him a hefty slap. Through your teeth, you told him to stop being a goddamn martyr. “That wasn’t you, you had no control but I’m not going to keep repeating myself. I can’t be responsible for making you feel worthy, you must forgive yourself - not that there is anything to forgive. The people who know you understand what really happened. You want to punish yourself; I can’t stop you but don’t drag me down with you. I can’t take it.”
The tension between your bodies simmered into a low whisper as Bucky closed his eyes; the sirens echoing in his ears and your phantom touch on his face. When he opened his eyes, you were walking away but you hesitated before turning to him. “Are you coming with me or not?”
No words could be used to describe the relief he felt down to his bones when your hand reached out to him – you were right, he needed to stop punishing himself because it was clear it was hurting those around him…especially you. And he had done enough of that. He had hurt you enough that he’d spend the rest of his lifetime making up for it even if it meant being happy. Being in love and living the life that was once stolen from him.  A smile pulled from your lips when his palm touched yours, fingers gripped yours and you knew all you were was a big talker because even if it meant a life time, you’d always wait for him.  
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antimony-medusa · 18 days
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Another post cause I’ve been seeing some stuff on my dash.
Okay so first of all it’s fine if a media fades and you move on to other things. That’s fair. You objectively have less content to work with when it’s not airing/uploading. Go on to greener pastures and thrive.
However, it is also like, perfectly fine if you keep being enthusiastic about a thing that is on hiatus or over. Heaven help us, there are still about five fics uploaded for SMPEarth a month, and half the time I’m one of them. I just wrote recursive fic (fic inspired by other fic) of something published in 2021, which is about the time that I joined the fandom in the first place. I was cruising collections the other day and the K/S Star Trek fans just ran a prompt fest that got like 50 fics submitted to it. I’m subscribed to someone who uploads fic from the Witcher books (not the show, the books) about once a week. Repeatedly in exchanges I’m in, the most popular fandom is Biggles, which is an adventure pilot series that came out in 1930s (I understand it’s very gay and whumpy).
If you still want to talk about or create about a fandom that is not airing rn, I promise you are not going to annoy people. Anyone who thinks you’re cringe isn’t worth worrying about. Even if it’s just one guy deliriously happy in your notes, you will find your audience. You don’t have to do Fandom as work where you have to stay current, you can just follow your bliss, even if that means you just draw one more ctommy, and just one more ctommy, and one last ctommy, and just one more ctommy.
So yeah like I’m giving you a thumbs up if you leave, find something new that scratches that itch, but also if you keep making things, even for something long past, I promise nobody worth caring about will think you’re weird.
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capricornlevi · 2 years
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i have a memory - kishibe x f!reader
cw: brief mention of violence and threat (not graphic), consumption of alcohol/cigarettes, explicit sexual content (oral sex f! receiving, fingering, hand jobs, vaginal sex) - NSFW, MDNI
word count: 8.9k
a/n: thinking about how young cocky annoying kishibe showed up for 3 panels and changed the trajectory of my life forever ... so here's 9k words of kinda-sorta-enemies slash annoying colleagues to lovers .... with a tiny splash of angst too for good measure? i just love this man and think he's a secret softie so here's him successfully pulling for once <3
___
“You’d really say no to a smoke?” 
Kishibe’s question sounds disbelieving as he holds out the box of cigarettes in your direction. Instead of answering, you choose to wave away his offer dismissively. Still shocked, he continues, “you’re not even a little tempted?”
You roll your eyes. You’re one of few devil hunters in the Public Safety Division that rarely, if ever, smokes; a fact that makes you somewhat of an oddity to people like Kishibe, your partner, who seems to keep the tobacco industry afloat through his wages alone.
“Nope,” you reply simply. “They taste bad.”
Your replies are clipped and borderline rude but you can’t bring yourself to care - not when he’s dragged you to this place yet again, at this godforsaken hour of the morning, to “look over your case files” even though he never seems to actually care enough to read them. 
The place in question is a dingy old café on the outskirts of town, one that Kishibe insists on coming to even though there’s a fancy new artisanal coffee shop just down the road. His loyalty to this dump baffles you. 
In theory, you don’t object to meeting up this early - you usually prefer to grab a hot drink at this time anyway, just to keep your hands warm, and Kishibe always needs to take a smoke break, so better to get it out of the way before the day kicks off - but you hate how he never seems to take these meetings seriously. It feels like wasted hours you could have spent sleeping. 
Adding to your resentment is the fact that you have to sit outside in the freezing cold just so he can grab a smoke. He doesn’t like walking and smoking at the same time; it distracts him too much, apparently. 
You hate it out here. As grim as it is on the inside of the café, the exterior is far worse; grey, miserable concrete floors and walls, no decoration of any sort, and just one solitary table for outdoor dining. 
And at that lonely table, there is only one chair - the chair which you’re currently sitting on. Thankfully, Kishibe knew better than to fight you for it since it’s his smoking habit that’s keeping you outside.
He’s leaning against the wall next to you, peering down curiously as you sip your drink with a poorly-concealed grimace. 
“You really sure you don’t want one?” he asks again. 
“Shut up and smoke the damn cigarette. It’s fucking freezing.” 
Kishibe lets out a short huff of amusement, finally fishing a cigarette out of the box and bringing it to his lips. He slips the box back into his shirt pocket and then pulls out his rusty old lighter, soft strands of black hair falling into his eyes as he lights the cigarette. His lips purse around the tightly-rolled tobacco, his cheekbones stained pink from the cold. 
You don’t know why your eyes linger on the sight. To distract yourself, you open up a copy of the report sitting on the table in front of you. 
Kishibe takes a long drag before exhaling with a pleasured sigh, eyes closed with bliss. 
“Doesn’t taste too bad to me.”
“Well, that’s you,” you mutter, scanning over the paper on the table. You’ve just picked it up from the captain of your division - he left it a little late to brief you both, considering the mission starts today - and you want to have at least a passable knowledge of what you’re up against before setting out. 
You’ve worked a few jobs with Kishibe since being assigned as his partner and generally, you tolerate him fine. He doesn’t try to ruin your day (you don’t think, anyway). You even share a few laughs every now and then, once you grew to understand his strange and overconfident sense of humour. He’s manageable. 
But at times like this, times when you should be focusing on the job that’s been assigned to you instead of just fucking around, smoking cigarettes and taunting each other …
At times like this, he can really get on your nerves.
He’s far from a bad hunter, you know that. His strength and skill have given him quite the reputation even though he’s still in the early stages of his career, and he approaches every fight with the sort of stoic level-headedness you could only aspire to.
He’s good. Too good, almost, and it scares you how he manages it all without even breaking a sweat.
That’s the real reason he gets under your skin so often. It's all too easy for him, and it’s a humbling reminder of your own mortality. He may not need to do this much preparation and research in order to stay alive, but you certainly do. You can’t take any chances. 
That, coupled with the fact that you can’t even enjoy your morning cup of coffee indoors anymore … 
“You sure it’s just the taste you don’t like?” he pipes up as if on cue, prompting you to give him a withering look over the top of the report. “You’re not scared of them, are ya? Cos we’re not gonna live long enough to worry about the side effects of smoking, if that’s what’s actually bothering you.”
“That’s exactly why I don’t smoke,” you reply, unimpressed. “I’d rather spend what little time I have left doing things that I actually enjoy.” You gesture dismissively at the cigarette dangling between his lips. “And those things taste like shit, so I don’t bother wasting my time or money on them.”
He raises his eyebrows when he takes his next drag, whisps of grey smoke spilling out into the frosty air as he exhales. “I could get offended here, y’know?”
“Why would you be offended?” you say disinterestedly, your eyes lingering on the part of the report that details the previous fatalities of the devil in question. 
“Are you saying that I taste like shit, then?”
“Maybe you do,” you say, setting the paper back down in front of you with a yawn. “I don’t care.”
Kishibe’s grinning down at you now. He has that kind of smile that always reaches his eyes, and you’d almost find it charming were it not always associated with him trying to tease you. 
You’ve read enough of the report at this point - it sounds awful, but all the death and destruction and suffering starts to blur together after enough time - and so fold the paper in half and slip it into your jacket pocket, trying as best as you can to ignore the grin spreading across Kishibe’s face.
“I don’t taste like shit, y’know,” he elaborates, even though you didn’t ask him to. 
“You’re a freak.”
Your comment does nothing to halt his attempt at conversation. 
“Well, I have these breath mints, y’know - y’know those ones you can pick up at the counter in drug stores? They’re pretty good, cancels out the taste. So I make sure I don’t taste bad.” 
He finishes his sentence by stubbing his cigarette out on the ashtray and opening the little tin of mints that he keeps in the same pocket as his lighter. He pops a mint into his mouth and stays looking smug, so smug you could slap the expression right off his face.
You are in no mood to entertain him any further, so just fire off an agreement in the hope of shutting him up. 
“Fine. I’ll take your word for it.”
But you should have known it wouldn’t be that easy, because not a second later he asks, practically beaming …
“Do you wanna find out?” 
You get up from your chair abruptly, shoving him with your shoulder as you pass him on the way out of the café. He gasps in feigned indignation and is just about to speak up again before you call out a question of your own. 
“Has a line like that ever worked on anyone?”
He laughs, though it ends in a cough. You turn to leave but still hear his answer from over your shoulder. 
“Nope.”
______
The job is a tough one, even by the standards of devil hunters. 
Kishibe has your back and you have his, but it’s not enough to save the many casualties who you had hoped to keep out of harm’s way. Collateral damage is a given in your line of work, but this … this was a particularly bad day.
You and Kishibe travel home in silence. He doesn’t say anything to draw a reaction out of you, and in turn, you don’t make a comment when he pulls his box of cigarettes from his now blood-stained shirt pocket. 
It’s a mutual understanding, and you’re grateful for it. 
_____
The next day, once you’ve had the closest thing to a full night’s sleep you could hope for given your line of work, you’re awoken by the sound of Kishibe knocking on your door. 
You know the sound all too well. He gives three loud raps against the doorframe, all in quick succession; he might pretend otherwise, but he’s a creature of habit. You don’t even have to look through the peephole to know that it’s him. 
“I have a question,” he announces the moment you open the door, without so much as a greeting. “Just a quick one.”
“... go ahead.”
You’ve worked with him for long enough to know that it’s better to let him tell his piece first, and then you can ask for elaboration later. You don’t try to slow him down with a ‘good morning’. It wouldn’t be helpful for either of you. 
“A few friends in another division are going out for drinks tonight. Same place as usual. Shitty beer, but it’s cheap and the other division’s buying a few rounds, so they’ll get us drunk as hell. Wanna go?”
“You couldn’t have just called me with this question?” you ask, head still a little groggy. It’s well into the afternoon, but had Kishibe not come for this unexpected visit, you’d likely still be in bed. 
“Nope, because then it’d be easier for you to come up with an excuse to blow us off,” he replies quickly - too quickly, almost as if he’d prepared this little speech beforehand. “So if you really don’t wanna go, that’s fine, no complaints here. All I ask is that you don’t say no out of instinct. I think it’d be good, y’know, to get some space? Perspective, and shit like that? You’ll get to see a few people from other divisions, too. I know you’re probably tired of looking at my face every day, handsome as it may be.”
He’s looking at you directly, presenting his case in such a typically Kishibe way; straightforward, reasoned, calm, logical. And still just a little bit annoying.
Part of you is still a little resentful as to how he can bounce back so quickly and appear so unaffected by all of this. He’s still so unperturbed by it all.
But a bigger part of you appreciates that he gives enough of a damn to come out here and check up on you after a particularly difficult mission. You know of plenty of hunters who get stuck with partners who couldn’t care less whether they lived or died, let alone bothered to check on their mental well-being.
For all his faults, he’s a good guy. Irritating at times and a bit too sure of himself, but a good guy nonetheless. He’s trying to cheer you up and, try as you might, you can’t think of a valid reason to turn down his request. 
“Fine, I’ll go.”
His shoulders relax ever-so-slightly. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he’s almost relieved.
“See you there at around eight o clock, so?” he inquires, though it’s more of a statement than a question.
“Sure thing.”
His smile turns mischievous, a transformation you see far too often. 
“Want me to wear something nice? I have a nice red lacy number you might like-” 
He doesn’t get to finish the sentence before you close the door in his face. 
“See you later!” he calls out, voice muffled on the other side of the door. You hear his footsteps as they traipse down the hallway of your apartment building, and then he’s gone. 
This is fine. You can stomach a few short hours of socialising with the other divisions. It couldn’t be that difficult, could it? You know a few of them already and you have Kishibe there to back you up if any of them get too messy. Your partner is a big drinker, but he can hold it well. Better than most people, actually (yet another frustrating thing about him).
As you start to walk back to your kitchen to make the first of many coffees, you start to notice something. It’s subtle, and you can’t quite place what it is until you’ve finished preparing your drink. 
You groan out loud once you realise what you've noticed.
Even with the earthy aroma of the freshly-ground coffee beans filling your kitchen, you can still smell Kishibe’s aftershave. 
It feels like … like it’s on you, or something. It feels like it’s all over your body.
You’re not complaining about the aftershave itself, obviously. It actually smells pretty nice - you’d never say it to his face, but the man has good taste. 
You’re just annoyed because it’s yet another reminder that Kishibe is everywhere. 
Whether it’s through these impromptu visits, through his frequent texts and emails, or just in the course of your work, he’s absolutely everywhere. He’s there when you wake up, he’s there while you work, he’s even there whenever you try to get some peace and quiet at the café or in bars after work. 
And after last night, he seems to be in your dreams, too, but you won’t dwell on that any further. Not if you have any hope of catching a break from him. 
You don't let yourself panic. You reason that dreams are just the mind’s way of processing what it experiences throughout the day. It means nothing. Having a dream involving a colleague, of him taking you in his arms, holding you close, touching you where you need to be touched … 
… it’s just a sign that you spend way too much time together. 
You clutch your favourite mug in your hands, feeling the heat warm your palms. It’s a standard mug, plain white porcelain with “World’s Best Boss” printed on the side; a gift from your former partner.
You think about what happened to her, and feel a lump form in your throat. 
No. Can’t get too close. 
___
When you arrive at the bar later that night, you find it to be so packed with hunters that the place is flooded with cigarette smoke. The air is so dense it’s almost a fog, the haze of it obscuring your vision slightly. You can see where you’re going but it’s difficult to make out faces. 
You can only hope that you don’t walk up to someone, mistake them for Kishibe, and call them a fucking idiot out of instinct. He’d never let you live it down if he found out. 
You cough to clear your throat as you make your way to the booths in search of your partner, trying to dodge the people pushing past with arms full of beer glasses. 
It’s not long before you spot him - or rather, hear him. 
“Hey!” he shouts to you from over your shoulder, and you spin around to see him standing right behind you. His speech is muffled by the cigarette between his lips, his tie is loose and the top buttons of his shirt are undone, and you see the pale-pink border of scar decorating his chest that would usually be hidden by his jacket. He’s holding a beer in one hand and so places the other on your shoulder with uncharacteristic gentleness, guiding you over to the booth on the furthest left-hand side of the room. “You’re an honorary smoker now!”
Any other day you’d slap his hand away, interpreting the gesture as being just typical Kishibe trying to irritate you with overfamiliarity. However, after the mission the two of you just had, you choose to let it slide. 
It might be time to start giving him the benefit of the doubt. 
Maybe, if you tried, you could even grow to like him. 
… but that thought doesn’t seem right. No, not right at all; because you didn’t have to try. Maybe you already do like him, and it happened without you even realising. 
You take a sip from the glass of whiskey that someone’s just shoved into your hand and you feel the warmth spread down your throat and through your chest. 
God, need to be careful. 
The realisation hits you like a brick wall; you absolutely and unequivocally must not get too attached to Kishibe. You can’t. You won’t. 
Getting personally involved with someone in your line of work is one of the most reckless things a person can do. If luck is on his side and he isn’t killed or seriously injured at some point in the near future, then you definitely will be the one to die instead. Your chances of passing away from natural causes are slim to none.
There’s no real hope for a nice, happy, white-picket-fence future; you gave that up long ago. To indulge in the new and silly feelings you’re experiencing for the man whose hand is still clasped on your shoulder … it would be foolish. 
Your best hope at happiness is to be fond of Kishibe from a distance. To tolerate him as a partner and respect him as a colleague, and leave it at that. No more, no less.
Once you’ve arrived at the booth - his touch still so noticeable on the exposed skin near your neck - he introduces you to three devil hunters. You greet the two men who you recognise as being from another division, along with a woman with an eye patch and striking white hair. From word of mouth, you’d assume this is Quanxi, the famous former partner Kishibe had worked with for a couple of years before being reassigned. 
You take a seat next to her while your partner sits across from you next to the two men, and even as you settle into conversation with the rest of the group, it takes a surprising amount of effort to try and ignore that you miss having him within touching distance.
You need a distraction and, thankfully, you grow to like Quanxi very quickly. She’s blunt and straightforward but makes good conversation. She tells you enough embarrassing stories about Kishibe to last you a lifetime and has a similar outlook on life as you do; she’s practical but not emotionless, reserved but still dedicated to her work. 
Unfortunately for you, she’s also very observant.
“You don’t drink much?” she asks out of the blue as Kishibe gets up to fetch another round. “Kishibe told me you don’t smoke, but from the look of your glass … you’re still on your first beer, whereas those two,” she adds, pointing dismissively at the other two hunters, “are nearly finished with their fourth.”
“ ... I had a whiskey before I sat down.”
“Even still,” Quanxi counters, holding up her empty whiskey glass for emphasis - she must have finished the bottle by now. 
You shrug, unsure as to what your answer would even be. “Tonight’s just an off night for me, I guess.”
“Why?”
“I just have a lot on my mind,” you admit. It’s uncharacteristically candid of you considering you’ve only just met, but Quanxi seems trustworthy. “I’m scared that drinking will make it … a bit harder to deal with.”
Luckily, Quanxi doesn’t seem too eager to push the topic. “Fair enough. As long as it’s not because you think it  … tastes bad, or something.”
You see her glance over to Kishibe for a split second, so quick it’s almost not noticeable. She grins, then, and you know for sure that he’s been talking about you. 
Kishibe, you swear to yourself. If the devils don’t kill him then you will. 
___
A couple of hours pass before you excuse yourself to step outside for some fresh air. It’s not an excuse - you really do need some air, as even the heaviest smokers in the bar have started to complain about how stuffy it’s become. You don’t feel too guilty about needing a break.
The night air is cold but fresh and crisp and so you welcome it, inhaling deeply into your lungs as you round the corner to the quiet alley next to the bar. Once there, you rest your back against the cool stone of the wall. You’re wearing only a skirt and a silk blouse, your jacket hanging up inside the bar, but you don’t shiver. 
You look up to the sky to try and see some stars, only to find them shielded by a thick covering of dark clouds. 
It could rain at any moment, you think to yourself. You really hope it doesn’t. 
“Quanxi scare you off?” a familiar voice calls out from the corner, attracting your attention. “Anything she told you about me is a lie, promise. Unless it’s good, then it’s extremely true.”
You chuckle softly. “No, just needed some air.”
“Same here,” Kishibe says cordially, walking over to you with his hands in his pockets. “Too warm in there.”
You watch him approach you with a soft smile and see that his walk is steady. He’s either not drunk at all or he’s very good at hiding it. 
Your curiosity gets the better of you and so you point it out.
“Kishibe, you’re not drinking as much as usual.” 
He chuckles. He’s reached where you’re standing and decides to follow your lead, resting his back against the wall and tilting his head upwards to see what you were looking at before. The two of you stay there, looking at the blank night sky. 
He clears his throat, voice still conversational and relaxed when he starts speaking. 
“Between the drinking and the smoking … you’re awful concerned about my health recently, aren’t ya?”
“Just being nosy, I guess,” you say, writing it off as plain old curiosity. You can’t think of any other reason for noticing it. 
“But you’re right, I’m taking it easy tonight,” he continues. “Not in the mood.”
“Weren’t you the one who wanted to come here to get shitfaced?” 
He shrugs. “No fun getting shitfaced by yourself, though, is it?”
“Ouch,” you chuckle, clutching your chest for dramatic effect. “I know I’m kinda quiet tonight, but-“
“Nah, I didn’t mean it like that,” he grins with a roll of his eyes. “I just don’t know the guys in there all that well, and the ones that I do know are fucking idiots when they’re wasted. Quanxi holds her liquor too well to even get tipsy, and you’re barely drinking, so I’m following your lead.”
Now it’s your turn to feel surprised. You thought you were the more observant of the two of you, but it turns out Kishibe notices the same things.
“I’m a good influence, then.”
Kishibe snorts at that, but somehow the sound is endearing. “Don’t go that far. We’re both still in this shitty job, so you can’t be all that sensible.”
“Oh, I’m not,” you agree, laughing too. “I’m good enough at wasting our pitiful little paycheck.”
“On what?”
He’s still grinning but looks genuinely curious, and huh, you have to stop and think on that one. You don’t really have any major vices (that you can think of), and you’re not a compulsive shopper, but you still manage to spend your money every month.
It’s not worth feeling guilty over, though; you just like surrounding yourself with little pleasures to distract from the grim nature of your work. 
You like getting nice furniture for your apartment, and this certain fancy brand of coffee. You like going to a local gallery and being able to buy any painting you want … 
… and, as you said earlier, you like things that taste good.
“I spend a lot of money on coffee,” you start. “Too much money. More than you spend on cigarettes, probably.”
“That’s-”
“A lot, I know,” you roll your eyes before continuing. “I also buy paint, canvases, brushes … things like that.”
“You paint?”
“A little. When I get the chance.”
He raises his eyebrows thoughtfully. Seems you’ve genuinely surprised him for once.
You keep going - now that you’ve remembered your little shopping list, it’s hard to stop the thoughts from flowing out. 
“And I got this green couch for my apartment. Ridiculously expensive, but I’ve wanted it for ages. I sometimes buy old books, too, and I always get this overpriced lip balm that tastes like apples.”
You pause then, to show you’re finished recalling your expenses. You have to laugh at the bemused expression on Kishibe’s face. 
“That it?” he asks, but he sounds suitably impressed. Like you’ve finally opened up to him in a way he can appreciate.
“That’s it, I think.”
He’s so close to you now that you’re practically shoulder-to-shoulder. You’re both just resting against the wall having a friendly chat, but the closeness feels … it feels both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. You’re used to having him always there, but never within touching distance. Never so casual and easy and enjoyable.
He clears his throat.
“So all that … that’s what you’re wasting all your money on? I’ll remember that next time I foot the bill for lunch.”
”I forgot my wallet one time,” you answer, shoving his shoulder with yours, “one time ever. Surely you’ve financially recovered by now.”
You’re not sure what possesses you, but as you’re still standing side-by-side, you lean your head down to rest it against his shoulder. It feels natural, like something you don't even have to think about. Kishibe was close, he was right there, and you wanted him closer.
His voice doesn’t betray any surprise at your actions, but the way the muscles in his arm tense as you nestle against him shows that he wasn’t expecting it.
But the fact that he doesn’t give you any shit for it or shrug you off means that he doesn’t object.
“I guess we can go to yours for coffee from now on,” he points out. “Since you’re apparently a coffee snob, and I’m clearly torturing you with the shit excuse for a beverage they serve at the café.”
“True,” you agree, “though maybe we can try to have a cup indoors for once. Just for the novelty of it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’d like to see if it tastes any better when I’m not freezing my ass off while you have a smoke.”
“We could go now, if you want?” he asks then, and you feel everything slow down around you. 
You’re grateful to be resting against his shoulder because it means he misses your perplexed expression, your eyes widening as he finishes his question.
What does he mean by ‘go now’? Go where? The café closes just after lunch. You never go there unless you’re on a case. It’s the middle of the night, there are no other cafes even open nearby … 
As if reading your mind, he elaborates. 
“No, not go to the café,” he says, voice lower than you’ve ever heard it. It’s deep now, almost gravelly, instead of that usual ‘so smug it’s almost chirpy’ tone he utilises when he’s trying to annoy you on missions. His voice sounds nice - so nice that an inconvenient tingle spreads in your chest as you hear it. “I meant we could go back to yours. For some of that ridiculously expensive coffee, I mean.”
Is he trying to mess with you? It almost feels like a game, like he’s trying to trick you into saying something that will only make life more inconvenient for the both of you.
“You want coffee at midnight?” you ask, slowly.
“Sure do,” he answers without hesitation. “If you’ll be so kind as to host.”
You draw your head back and look at him quizzically. You know exactly how he acts when he’s messing with you and this isn’t it. He’s not smirking when he speaks; instead, he’s looking at you with an uncharacteristic softness in his eyes. It throws you off in a way that’s not entirely unpleasant, and so you say,
“Sure, let’s head back to mine.”
___
You grab your jacket from inside the bar as Kishibe hails a cab, and before you know it, the two of you are standing at your doorstep, just as you were earlier today when he invited you out. You feel different now, though; adrenaline coursing through your veins for no discernable reason. 
This all feels surreal. You and Kishibe here, alone, after hours, without the convenience of a mission to keep you distracted. And yet, you don’t dwell on it.
You’re moving as if possessed, desperately avoiding any overthinking of your actions as you take him by the hand and guide him through the door to your hallway, through to the kitchen then. Neither of you says anything as you walk. You only let go of his hand when you arrive at the countertop where you keep the coffee, resting a hand against the surface to ground yourself.
The kitchen is dark since you didn't bother the turn on the lights. Only the glow of the streetlamps illuminates the room, casting a glow over the two of you.
You blink up at him. He stays looking at you pensively. 
You’re still not sure how literally he was speaking when he mentioned wanting coffee. Would he laugh at you if you started to brew some? You want to touch him again, want to feel him ever closer than he was before, but … have you misinterpreted the situation entirely?
Kishibe clears things up for you. He steps in your direction, shoulders set and expression difficult to place. He’s not touching you yet but he’s so gotten so close now …  closer than colleagues or partners or even friends tend to go, only inches away from your body.
He’s so close you can feel whisps of his hair tickling your forehead, you can see the crinkles in his shirt and the outline of the lighter in his jacket pocket.
He stop then, hesitating, eyes scanning your face. 
“You okay?” he asks, smiling at you - a kind smile, not brass or cocky. 
You nod, the movement shallow and jerky and perhaps a bit too quick. 
“Yeah, just … my head’s all over the place.”
“Nothing has to happen,” he replies quietly. “We can just have coffee, if you’d prefer.”
“So you really want coffee?” you ask, eyebrow raised. “We’re sticking with that story?”
“Doesn’t have to be coffee,” he counters. “Tea, water, I don’t care. I just … I like spending time with you.”
You return his smile just as genuinely. “You’re being so … nice.”
“You sound surprised.”
“Well, I am,” you say emphatically. “Did I accidentally bring someone else’s partner home?”
He laughs, a nice sound, and your heart hammers against your ribcage. 
“Nope. Stuck with me, I’m afraid.”
His answer is conversational and friendly, but the look in his eyes betrays him. You know he means it. 
You know it’s stupid. It doesn’t make sense, because he’s your partner, and you’re supposed to be objective, and it goes against every rational thought in your brain. 
But the idea of being stuck with him sounds so appealing ... you can’t pay much attention to your rational side.
It’s not Kishibe who closes the distance between the two of you; instead, you step closer, fisting your hands into the fabric of his shirt, and then press your lips to his. 
It’s not a slow kiss. It starts intense and it only builds from there, teeth almost clacking together as you tangle your hands in his hair. It’s clumsy, almost; he’s pawing your thighs, lower back, waist, as if he can’t decide where he wants to touch first. You take a gentle grip on his hair, marvelling at how soft it feels in your hands, the silky tresses just so tuggable.
You’ll park that thought for later.
Kishibe deepens the kiss, running his tongue against your lips and then pushing into your mouth, not letting go of your body the whole time. 
It’s funny; a part of you thought that he would be as confident and dominant in these circumstances as he is in his professional life -
(Yes, you’ve thought about it before … it’s not as though the thought of sleeping with him has never crossed your mind. You’re stubborn, but not blind.)
- but he’s taking as much as he’s giving, getting as much satisfaction from your reaction as he does from anything else. He moves with you, noting what you like as the moments pass, gauging your reaction from your whimpers and moans and the way you’re not-so-subtly rubbing against his thigh.
He kisses your neck, lingering on your pulse point, leaving a mark that you’re sure will be visible tomorrow. The thought is strangely thrilling; the idea of you and Kishibe working a case together, with marks all over your skin just begging to be noticed. Marks that show he wanted you all to himself and needed everyone to know it. 
When you push your hips into his, feeling the bulge in his suit pants pressing against you, you tighten your grip on his hair. He notices and responds eagerly, grabbing your ass over the thin fabric of your skirt and pressing you flush against him. The heat of his body makes your mind go numb. 
You can smell his aftershave again, all over your body as he kisses and rubs and touches, but you have no complaints this time. 
He leans in as if to kiss you again but stops just short, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. 
“You have no idea how badly I want this,” he murmurs. “How badly I’ve wanted it. But … it might make things just a little bit complicated.”
“I’m okay with it if you are,” you whisper, looking into his eyes to show your confidence in your answer. You’re too far gone to back out now. You haven’t felt touch like this in so long, having kept yourself so guarded and withdrawn for years. Kishibe understands; he knows the risks of this job, and he knows how lonely it gets. He knows you so well. Knows what you need. 
“I’m okay with it,” he says, lips quirked upwards. He’s still pressed against you, his thigh spreading your legs open slightly. “Want me to show you how much?”
His eyes flicker down your body past your chest, and you know exactly what he’s thinking about doing. Every inch of your skin feels hot. Your clit pulses at the very idea of what he’s suggesting - it seems like his confidence might pay off. 
“I want you,” you reply. You think about finishing the sentence with something a bit more articulate, but Kishibe’s eyes darken at your earnest response, pupils blown out and expression ravenous. 
He places a large hand on your thigh, the exposed skin tingling under his touch. He slides it up slowly, so slowly, grazing up to the seam of your underwear. He runs a finger over your clothed core and you gasp, hips almost bucking into his touch. His thumb circles your clit then returns to stroking the damp fabric between your legs, so impossibly close to where you need him. 
He’s so close to it. So close - if he just angled his fingers a little more, he could plunge two inside you, wringing orgasm after orgasm from you as you melt underneath him. 
“Please-“ you choke, the pleasure almost becoming an ache. “I … I need-“
“What do you need, baby?” he whispers into the shell of your ear, teeth giving a gentle tug on your lobe when he finishes his question. “What do you need from me?”
“More, please. More.“
He doesn’t ask you to elaborate any further. Instead, he guides you to the countertop, pressing you against it at first, unable to keep from connecting his mouth to some part of you for too long (this time, it’s the swell of your breasts over the neckline of your blouse). 
Once he pulls back, lips leaving your cleavage with a wet ‘pop’,  he helps you up onto the countertop. Once you’re sitting comfortably on the edge, he slides his hands up your thighs again. You feel the cool marble on the underside of your legs, pleasantly contrasting the heat of his hands. 
He tugs at the waistband of your underwear and you lift your hips to allow him to pull them down, feeling the cold air against your exposed skin as he does so. You’re so wet and he notices immediately. His tongue swipes over his lower lip, a pink flush having settled across his cheekbones. 
He’s annoyingly pretty like this, looking up at you from between your legs. 
You want to make him feel good with your mouth too. The thought of it makes your head swim; between the tenting in his pants and the look on his face … 
He cuts off your thoughts with a brush of his lips over your inner thigh. He kisses you again, leaving no inch of skin untouched as he gets closer and closer to your core. 
When he reaches the divot at the very top of your thighs, he loses his control just a bit, pressing wet and sloppy kisses, the obscene sound of which would make you embarrassed in any other circumstances.
You let out a desperate, uncharacteristic mewl, but you don’t feel any embarrassment. This side of Kishibe - whose only aim is to make you come undone - you know that he won’t make fun of you. The only reaction he’s trying to get from you now is one of pure and mindless pleasure. 
You gasp out loud as you finally get the contact you have been seeking; Kishibe presses a gentle closed-mouth kiss to your clit that makes your entire body shudder. With barely any contact he already has you quivering, goosebumps forming all over. The press of his mouth against your pussy is careful, explorative; lips and tongue tracing all over your slick flesh. 
The first proper lick stokes a fire in your core, burning hot and desperate as you tighten your thighs around his face. His hands grip your legs and pull them apart further, allowing better access for what he wants to do. 
Long, slow strokes up your folds and circles around your clit, all combining to make you feel pliant and boneless. 
“Please … please … please …” you beg over and over, though you don’t want him to change anything, you just don’t want him to stop. You feel like crying at the thought of it being taken away for even a second, for him to stop the perfect movement of his tongue against your aching cunt. “Please keep going.”
He hums his approval and moves to start suckling your clit with just enough pressure to make your vision go white behind your now-shut eyes. You feel the slightest pressure against your entrance as he presses a finger hesitantly - you throw your head back with a desperate cry of “yes!”, and he pushes it in in one fluid motion.  
You feel a bit conflicted about closing your eyes because the image in front of you is so enticing; a few strands of his dark hair are stuck to his forehead with the faint sheen of sweat that’s building as he fucks you with his fingers, his eyes looking up at you beseechingly through dark lashes with a particularly firm flick of his tongue … 
You want to keep looking at him, you do, but you can’t. It’s too much. The sensation is building quicker than you can react to it, and so you lay back on the counter, your back arching as he keeps up his perfect pace. 
The pleasure is low and warm and unending, deep inside you, and for a brief moment, it scares you that Kishibe is the one doing this to you. 
Kishibe, your annoying coworker who you’re supposed to be keeping at arm’s length - he's the one making you scream and cry out his name as if it’s the only word you can remember.
Kishibe is the one who’s making your eyes roll back into your head, the one who’s taking you apart with just his mouth and fingers (now, two of them). 
You’re surrendering yourself to him, and yet, you don’t have the slightest urge to halt any of it. 
Heat starts collecting in your core, a ball of warm pleasure starting to grow and grow until you couldn’t contain it even if you wanted to. He can feel you tighten around his fingers and speeds up without altering the pressure, just giving you more of what you need. Your incoherent babbling only spurs him on. 
When you tip over the edge and quiver desperately underneath him, coming apart entirely, it takes you by surprise; there was no build-up because it was all too overwhelming, too blinding, to be able to determine at what point exactly your pleasure started to crest.
It just takes over.
When you come down from it, you decide to take just a minute to collect yourself as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. You close your eyes again, blinking back the tears that collected against your waterline. 
It’s a little strange. You haven’t had a sexual experience like that since … well, ever. 
Thinking about things rationally, you come up with a few reasons for your very enthusiastic response. First and foremost, you haven’t had sex in a long time, not since joining the agency, not since dating became too messy. You’ve been a bit stressed, too, a bit pent up. You needed some relief. You haven’t had any … alone time in a while, either. 
But as you noted earlier, you’re not listening to the rational part of your brain tonight. Not one of those reasons explains the effect Kishibe just had on you.
And the most confusing part is that even after making you come harder than you have in years, you want him even more intensely now. 
Sitting up on the counter, you drag him in for another kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. You run your hands up his chest, fingers grazing off the tell-tale outline of the cigarette box in his pocket. You move to rest your hands against his nape, feeling the prickliness of his undercut against your fingertips. 
His pants are still on but you can feel he’s painfully hard, straining against his zipper as he clings to you. 
He starts unbuttoning your shirt and you do the same to his, taking in the view of his sharply-cut torso as he sheds his clothes. 
It’s all lean muscle, thin white-lined scars covering his chest, a few freckles here and there. A painful-looking blue-black bruise sits above his hip and you frown upon noticing it. He pries your hand away from his shirt buttons, bringing your index finger to his lips and kissing it softly. 
“I’m fine,” he reassures you. “Don’t worry about it.”
You want to press further but relent at the last moment, going back to finish your task of unbuttoning his shirt. You can be concerned later; now, he needs you as much as you need him. 
“Where do you want to -?” he asks, trailing off at the end. 
You widen your eyes suggestively, glancing down at the countertop beneath you. 
He scoffs. “... here?” 
You shrug, smirking coyly. “Why not? Curtains are shut. And even if they weren't, it's not like we haven't disgraced ourselves enough already.”
“Can’t argue with that,” he says with a grin, eyes flicking down to catch a glimpse of your chest. 
You hop down from the counter and kiss him again, hastily unzipping his pants and taking him out of his underwear. Thick and heavy in your hand - the overconfidence comes from somewhere, obviously - you feel him throb against your touch. 
A few gentle strokes and he’s groaning, eyes shut and head tilted back, beads of precum gathering at the tip. Your mouth waters at the sight; Kishibe, having just opened his eyes, snaps when he sees the effect this is having on you. He spins you around and bends you over the counter, tugging your skirt up above your hips. You’re standing here so exposed - no shirt, no underwear, only the thin fabric of your skirt shielding your naked form - but you trust him now, just as much as you do when your life is in his hands. 
He drags the tip of his cock against your pussy and you gasp. 
You’re not sure how, but you feel empty without him inside, even though you haven’t even felt it yet.
You spread your legs for him, wet and stretched enough to take whatever he has to give you. 
As the head of his cock pushes inside you, Kishibe is the one to moan then, deep and low. 
“Oh baby,” he breathes. “Oh, sweetheart, you feel so good already, my love. You’re squeezing right around me, fuck,” he stills against you, hands on your hips preventing you from sliding back against him. “I … I need a second.”
“Done already?” you tease, looking back at him over your shoulder, your shaking legs barely supporting you. You grip the countertop more firmly to steady yourself. “Surely not?”
“Can you wait a few minutes to give me shit?” he retorts, and you feel his smile as he presses a kiss between your shoulder blades. “Usually I’d say you’d have every right, but I don’t think you want to get into that right now.” He pushes in further then, inch by inch. “Or do you?”
“You’re right,” you laugh airily, “you’re right, just … keep doing that, please.”
He slides in further, almost to the hilt now. He grips your hips with both hands as he seats himself fully inside you. 
You knew it would be a stretch, but this - the feeling of being so impossibly and blissfully full - takes you by surprise nonetheless. He stays there for just another moment as you adjust to him and you feel his thumb stroke slow, soothing circles along your lower back as you inhale slow and deep. 
You push back against him when you’re ready for him to start moving, and he doesn’t hesitate. Pulling his hips back, he thrusts back inside you with a groan, the slap of skin against skin echoing around the kitchen. He sets a strong, steady pace; hips snapping against yours as you rest your forehead on the counter, chest bouncing as he fucks into you as though he’s thought about doing this for years.
Kishibe reaches over and grabs your hands from the counter, crossing them behind your back and holding them in place with his own. This position means you arch further, allowing him to thrust deeper inside you, reaching spots you never thought anyone could hit. 
His grip on your wrists is tight but it never hurts; he’s handling you with such care, far more thoughtfully than you would have expected. That being said, he’s not treating you like you’re fragile or breakable - you wouldn’t like it if he did - rather, he’s touching you like your enjoyment is by far the most important aspect of this. He’s treating you like a partner. 
You turn your head so your cheek is resting on the surface. You just want to angle yourself so you can look back and see him. You need to see him, you need to know if he’s as fucked out as you are, reduced to utter desperation, unable to focus on anything other than the fact that you’re so tight and drenched and messy around him. 
When you see him, your breath hitches. Your guess wasn’t too far off.
Kishibe’s flushed now, pink tinting his face and neck, and his chest rises with short, shallow, primal pants. He’s biting down hard on his lower lip, so much so you think it might bleed, and he’s looking right at you, meeting your gaze head-on. His brows are knit tightly together, jaw pulled tight as he keeps his focus on you. He looks to be as close as you are.
When neither of you look away, unable to tear your eyes off eachother, he speeds up his thrusts. He’s chasing his end now; his pace is frenetic, and he lets out a throaty groan when his cock slips out at one point, the speed of his movements and the wetness between your legs making everything a messy, perfect blur. 
“You’re so beautiful, I can’t fucking stand it,” he says, punctuating his sentence with a disbelieving chuckle, “I should have said it sooner. Fuck, you’re so, so beautiful, it drives me insane.”
He lets go of one of your hands, keeping the other pinned behind your back, and you quickly bring it between your legs and trace circles around your clit with your fingers. You’re so wet - both from his mouth and from the way he’s fucking into you now - that you can hear your fingers moving, which means Kishibe can too. 
He leans down and moves his free hand to join yours, collecting some of the wetness between your legs and rubbing your clit in tandem with your movements. You shift your position to allow him to touch you as he wants to, the weight of him against your back and the warmth of his breaths hitting your damp skin wringing a carnal moan from you. 
“So pretty for me, aren’t you?” he says, almost reverent. “So pretty like this. I could do this for hours - could hear you make those noises for the rest of my life, fuck, you’re doing so, so well, my love.”
 You feel it build so quickly that you gasp his name in surprise, the word almost sounding like a question. He understands, keeping the pace of both his thrusts and the circling of his fingers consistent. 
It washes over you like a tidal wave; pulses of explosive pleasure rippling through your muscles, making your legs shake and your eyes squeeze shut. Your breath catches in your chest, only a shaky, weak-sounding moan escaping your lips - you can’t even think of any words right now, let alone speak them. 
“Baby, baby, baby,” Kishibe mutters repeatedly, “oh, fuck, that’s it.”
You feel his cock pulse inside you, his hand releasing the arm that’s still behind your back as he grips your hips instead, grinding into you as deeply as he can. A few more shallow thrusts follow, aftershocks making your cunt flutter around him, and then he stills again, the sound of both your heavy breathing filling the room. 
He doesn’t pull out right away. He straightens you up a little, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your neck and rubbing up and down your arm. It feels nice; you feel so serenely calm at that point, you could almost fall asleep resting against him.
He straightens up fully once both of your heart-rates return to normal and the sweat on your skin starts to cool, and then he pulls out, grabbing a tissue from the counter to clean for you. 
You fumble with your skirt to pull it further down your thighs - not to hide anything from him, but to provide the tiniest bit of warmth now that Kishibe’s body heat is no longer distracting from the cold.
He picks up his jacket from the floor and walks behind you to rest it on your shoulders. You smile gratefully, letting silence settle between you. He stays there, wrapping an arm around you from behind.
“Do you want me to head away?” he asks, and you can tell from his tone that he wouldn’t be upset if you did. 
You shake your head.
You don’t want him to go yet. Not just yet, not when you’re still processing all that’s just happened. 
“I know it could get complicated,” you begin, trying to reason with him and yourself. “But ... no. I don't want you to go. I ... you can stay over. If that's something you'd like to do.”
“I would."
You let out a short chuckle, half-relief and half-bemusement. “Then I think we shouldn’t talk about complications anymore. For a while, anyway."
“I agree completely,” he mumbles against the crook of your neck.
“First time for everything.”
“You wound me,” he whispers, feigning offence but kissing your hairline anyway. “So does this mean I get a tour of your apartment now?”
Taking the hand that’s wrapped out you, you tug him in the direction of your bedroom. He makes a few characteristic comments on your furniture choices and you elbow him without any malice, pointing out some of your favourite pieces as you make your way through your apartment. 
It feels strangely normal; you crossed this boundary together, but the world hasn’t fallen down around you. 
He’s still the same, you’re still the same … mostly.
You know there’ll be a conversation tomorrow. It can’t go unaddressed considering you spend your working day together, but there’s no use spoiling the serene temporary escape the two of you have carved out for yourselves. 
You reach your bedroom and he follows you into bed wordlessly, draping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest. You interlock his fingers with yours.
Nestled in the sheets with him, you fall asleep more quickly that you have done in recent memory. 
After your entire adult life spent on death’s door, you allow yourself to feel an emotion you barely even recognise anymore.
You feel safe.
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