#bruce was invited

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Clark would never admit this but when he found out Batman’s identity there was a small part of him that was disappointed that his fantasy threesome would never happen

#a part of him hoped the bruceman rumors weren’t true so he’d have a chance with at least one of them #but a smaller part hoped they were true and maybe he’d be invited to join in #batman #superman #bruce wayne #clark kent #superbat #dc #dc comics #mine

[nerdpoe]

There was a slight miscommunication.

Danny says "Get souped!" or variations of it when he soups a rogue.

In a different dimension, the few recordings that the Justice League was able to get their hands on of the High King of the Infinite Realms didn't really have a lot of sound coming through, just static.

They need to summon him to wrangle a threat from his home dimension, but they can't hear what he wants.

But Batman can read lips.

Clearly, the best offering to summon the Ghost King is soup.

"I'll have Agent A make soup," he says, completely neutrally.

"I think we'll need the best soup, though. How about I go get my Ma to make some?" Says Superman, side eyeing Batman.

"I believe my mother knows of a fantastic recipe only found in Themyscira," says Wonder Woman, checking her nails.

"My dad left me a recipe for the best fish stew I've ever had," says Aquaman, already halfway out the door to get groceries.

"My pop makes a real good chicken noodle; you can't beat the classics," says Static, already texting his father.

"I have managed to make the most accurate approximation that I can to a very widely enjoyed Martian stew," says Martian Manhunter, staring Superman down.

All of the Heroes assembled glare at each other.

"...How about we let the King decide?" Asks Constantine, shrinking in on himself when the attention gets turned on him.

The High King get's summoned to a row of Superheroes glaring at him, with different soups laid before him.

They're all encouraging him to eat the best one, but he knows a trap when he sees it. He's a Midwesterner, and they fight their social battles with recipes.

Daniel Fenton forces himself to eat it all.

When asked which was the best?

"Oh, they were all so good I just can't bring myself to choose one over the other."

@simplestoryteller

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #bruce tries to psychoanalyze all of dannys movements from when he was eating #jokes on him #danny was so stressed by the pressure he didn't actually taste anything beyond #“this is good yes devour and move on” #Danny needs a day after eating to digest before he can fight the other ghost #just laying on a couch in the breakroom and staring at the ceiling #“how did i get here. how did it come to this.” #his phone blowing up from tucker's indignant raging #HE wanted to be invited to a random summoning cookout too!

[frownyalfred]

Hal, Dinah, Bruce and Ollie are the mean bisexuals of the Justice League and have the funniest, bitchiest undercover brunches together every once in a blue moon. They’re outlandishly hot, they think they’re better than you, they are better than you, and they’re all 50 minutes late for a JL meeting (that Bruce himself scheduled)

#treadmill thoughts #bruce wayne #batman #dc #dc comics #Hal jordan #dinah lance #oliver queen #justice league #jl #Clark isn’t invited and is crushed

[psalmsofpsychosis]

You know, i've been thinking about the way Batman keeps danger and weapons so close to his body, so tight to himself, practically tied around his neck, that joker often has no way left but to grab for him if he wants something Batman has. Batman does not want to be left out of Joker's plans, his story, he wants in on Joker's narrative by any means he can make it happen. It's such particular "you take me with you wherever you are, it's your punishment, just as it's my punishment to take you with me wherever i am" statement. Batman actively leaves no choice for Joker but to get very very close to him and claim him as part of his win or his loss. I mean,

he didn't have to. he could've put the key in one of his waist pouches, push it into the back of his left boot, he could've tied it around his bicep, i dont care— he could've done whateverthefuck with it. But he had to put it around his neck, and intentionally invite Joker to "come and get it". Something something classic cliche of the way lovers' bond is signified by a necklace-adjacent item and the way they interact with it; hold unto it, toss it, tie it around their necks, giving it back, not giving it back, necklaces as items of reverance and revenge. Something something a tie around neck being a sign of being claimed and owned,

#this is the first night in 2 months where i got good sleep of course i woke up and had batjokes popping on my brain screen #''99+ unread emails'' style #the whole invitation thing is. certainly something #i mean bro. a ''you will take that wish to the grave with you'' would do just fine or #or ''you will not have it.'' #Bruce wants his fights alright. He's uneasy with being left out of things often but he's particularly uneasy #with being left out of Joker's narrative #and it's far less about him ''being the only one strong enough to deal with him'' than he'd like to admit #batjokes #batjokes meta #Batman #Batman meta

[maxphilippa]

"but it's what my cutiemark is telling me"

so i had this. questionable idea yesterday: draw your blorbos as The Mane Six image, if you want to do this as well, feel free to do so!

Art tags:

@salachy-part-two @cookieseals @knightobreath (i think that you may want to be tagged?) @ch0cocrave @peppermintz-25 @facelessthefreak

#the lego movie #the lego movie 2 #trolls #trolls 3 #henry stickmin collection #inanimate insanity #ii #inanimate insanity invitational #ii 2 #ii 3 #the powerpuff girls #steven universe #tlm rex dangervest #trolls bruce #charles calvin #inanimate insanity microphone #ii microphone #ppg bubbles #steven universe d'mayo #my little guy: blorboing is magic #<- MIGHT do more content of them to that's their tag i guess

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Damian has learned many things since joining the family. He's found joy in Gotham even fighting Rouges and stopping crime he's made more happy memories here than he did while in the league.

Although he will always love his mother and be grateful for everything she has taught him many of those skills have been retired and he can't say he's partically angry about it.

What he's truly enjoyed most is his family Father and Richard, even Todd when he cooks and lets him sketch the alley cats that frequent his terrace.

'So Baby Bat guessing you weren't invited to the brother meeting tonight".

-

The pencil rolls hitting the floor. Jason was half paying attention more focused on the pasta he's stirring.

"I don't understand, what do you mean by that Todd"

Now Jason knows he's not exactly kept up to date on all the family's lovely adventures. But he can't place why Damian's voice is shaking.

Or why his little brother seems so hurt a part of him wants to scoop him up and wrestle his problems back to wherever hell they came from. But something stops him.

"I figured you were here cause of Dickbird and Timmy aren't you" he says carefully.

" Why would Drake and Richard have anything to do with my presence here." He spits, pausing.

"Are they together, Richard said he had something important to do and why would that be with Drake."

"Shit Dami sorry I must have made a mistake on the day it's the 16th not the 23rd my bad. The thing with Timmy is next week photography or something."

"Idiotic as ever Todd I will go back to my drawing now."

Jason would feel more offended at the blatant dismissal if he hasn't just lied.

Because Baby Brothers shouldn't be told that they aren't Dickie birds little Robin always.

That Dick is taking Tim on their weekly getaway to gone only knows where. That always seems to end with blood and death.

That their eldest brother is more fucked up then all of them combined and that only one is trusted enough to see what that means.

That as kind as Dick and even Tim can be they aren't always like that. There angry, vengeful, sadistic little shits that burn as much as they warm.

How's do you explain to the kid who's thinks the sun shines out of someone's ass that they are off galivanting with the favorite brother.

That the kid got off lucky for trying to kill the golden apple.

You don't.

You make food and watch him sketch the cat who's seen almost as many fights at Jason himself.

Ingnore your own twisted jealousy and pretend you wouldn't cut off your own arm if replacement asked.

Because only one Bat is unaware of who's the deadlist of who is lurking in the shadows weaving.

It's not Jason's place and more importantly he can't destroy the very pedestal that Jason still worships.

"Come on Dami, stop bugging the fucking cat and come eat."

Who's he to explain about the brothers who would put each other above all others even their own.

How do you explain that if you weren't practically the son of the last flying Grayson you would be another hidden name on a list more guarded than Bruce's emotions and that you would be rotting six feet under dead at the hands of your beloved Richard.

#tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batfam #bamf tim drake #bamf batfamily #Damian is Dicks son not his Brother #Jason is scared of both Dick and Tim #he should be #Dick and Tim are killing assassins #no one is invited to the party and Jason only knows cause he gets Drunk dialed

[gummybearstastelikesadness]

Jason’s the Red Hood at 17 in some versions making him a child at the time, mixing that with Lazarus pits as ectoplasm and him slowly forming a ghost core…

Jason ends up getting constantly harassed by random ghosts because he screams “baby ghost” and rotten cabbage boy at the same time to them.

Eventually half of Gothams ghost population want to adopt RH/protect him or bully him because he’s an entertaining trash boy.

The Red Hood keeps having really good luck on his patrol, the guys he’s going after keep tripping, their guns jam, and Batman can never get close to him. But Jason has inconvenient luck as a civilian, he constantly walks into doors, his cups always fall off the tables, and he constantly misplaces things.

It’s the actions of both groups of ghosts, but Jason can’t see any of them so he just assumes he has really weird luck.

Jason doesn’t get Ghost Adopted until he runs into a teenager that’s younger than him that keeps mumbling about how he didn’t plan on being a single dad of two at 16.

#danny phantom #red hood #dp #dp x dc #dc x dp #dp prompt #batman #dp crossover #danny fenton #dani phantom #jason todd #Danny’s out here pulling a Bruce Wayne on Bruce own kid #Jason when he starts talking to Bruce again: I’m going to spend the December holidays with my other dad #Bruce thinking Jason hates him again: What? Jason explaing absolutely nothing: Yep pops invited me.

[slarguien]

When Bruce gets lost in time, Tim sees evidence that he might be alive and so spends days staying up getting evidence to show the others that he was alive. He gives it all to Dick and then passes out, forgetting the last week he spent awake.

He wakes up confused as to what happens with a note from Dick saying he is taking over the case and to watch over Gotham. Dick didn't tell anyone where he is going and Tim can't find his laptop (Dick took it) so they have no idea where Dick is. Tim is now Batman.

At first, he is worried Jason might find out and attack him again but he doesn't seem to be in Gotham. (He is on the other side of the world wondering why Nightwing is breaking into a museum.)

It isn't until patrol that Tim realizes that being Batman means working with Damian. Tim doesn't like Damian and is an asshole sometimes, so he riled up Damian until he attacks him then used that as an excuse to bench him.

This continues for two months before Stephen finds out and teaches the art of pranking to Damian. While Tim could bench Damian for attacking him, he couldn't for doing pranks as Tim did a few pranks to provoke Damian when the usual jabs weren't working. Damian is allowed to patrol.

Tim still doesn't want to work with Damian and Damian doesn't want to either so they patrol separately and don't tell the others. This results in 5 cats, 2 dogs, and 1 raccoon living in the manor. Batman and Robin are seen together for the first time in months.

Over their time working together they start to bond. Damian shares his drawings and Tim shares his pictures. Tim admits he was an asshole and Damian apologizes for trying to kill him when he first arrived.

Tim takes over Wayne industries, after seeing how the city suffers a bit for not having the usual donations and how everyone is wondering what happened that made Bruce stop donating. Also because it allows him to get an internship for Damian.

Being in the justice league meant not being on the teen titans, so Tim after getting tired of having to deal with pranks whenever he and Damian disagree on something sends Damian to be the titans' problem.

When Dick comes back with Bruce, Tim and Damian end their prank war to team up and prank Dick for leaving without saying anything. Dick responds by recruiting Jason.

#tim drake #damian wayne #batman #batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #dc #Bruce comes back and sees his kids all getting along #Jason comes to dinner when dick invites him #damian is actually getting alone with his siblings #dick and jason completely destroyed the league #it was mostly luck and jason wanting to blow stuff up #they dont mentioned it because people died

[little-pondhead]

Oops.

While learning to control his powers under the guidance of Clockwork, Danny accidentally curses his own bloodline with the Curse of Sentient Food several centuries in the past. Originally, a witch was supposed to curse his family. Oops. Well, the Fentons were always adapting, and technically, either way, he'd end up battling dino nuggets at three am in his underwear, no matter who the curse came from. So he shrugged and continued on.

Unfortunately, this also means that out of nowhere, the timeline shifted, and some of his very distant relatives are now battling their food into submission at every meal because Danny is ultimately way more powerful than some mortal witch from the 1600s. His version of the curse reached literally everyone he could ever be related to for the last few centuries. Even if they were adopted into the family!

So, returning to the present time after training, Danny is a little startled to see some news clips of people's dinners coming to life and beginning revolutions. Wow, John Fentonightingale really got around, didn't he? He felt a little uncomfortable that now all these random people had to deal with their share of Fenton luck, but from some of the interviews, everyone seemed to be handling it pretty well!

Especially his so-distant-they're-on-another-tree cousins, the Kents, who contacted his family directly, asking how best to prepare a zombie turkey. Their son was coming for Thanksgiving with his new wife and some coworkers, and they just refused to make the guests fight for their lives on a holiday!

They invited the Fentons to join them, of course.

#dpxdc #pondhead blurbs #sometimes i wonder where the fuck this stuff comes from #which snail is responsible for this #but if it wasn't clear danny curses his bloodline and fucks it up because of course he does #so literally every single relative he's ever had is now suffering directly from fenton luck and sentient food fights #ma and pa kent are the only ones who reach out for advice #how did they figure out the fentons were the source? like they'd tell you those are family secrets you nosey bitch #so now the fentons are invited to spend the holidays with their distant cousins in Kansas #and meet their adopted son clark! who was just married! :D #side note the timeline changed right as the cake was cut at clark's reception so that was interesting #they had to pay for so much dry cleaning #clark's coworkers (fellow jl members) are a little worried about the sentient food but so far it's not really a big issue? #they can definitely take time off for the holidays to relax! #and they totally won't get dragged on any interdimensional adventures with a dead teenage godling as their guide! #feel free to continue #idk how many kids bruce has when clark marries lois but feel free to just throw some in #like JL members and their kids #just toss them in and watch the kids go feral #fighting your food is enrichment <3

[ghost-bxrd]

(prev anon with another bad half formed prompt)

what if after the whole pit fiasco jason still gets trained by the league, and then decides that he was kinda done with the whole fighting stuff and gotham feels like home, so might as well get an apartment there, and time moves on and he gets a job and gets into uni or smth and everythings good, and then nightwing comes crashing into his apartment breaking his window and jasons already had kinda a crappy day so he just starts yelling because what the hell man? do you know how much that'll take to repair? my insureance wont cover that! and nightwing is just stuck staring at his grown up little brother whos supposed to be dead, and chokes out a "jason". and now jasons freaked out because he didn't remember telling him his name, and thens theres confusion and dick asks why he doesnt recognise him and jason says hes never met him before in his life, and suddenly dick is staring at his little brother who's alive, but who isn't his brother and he can feel his heart slowly rip in two.

Lmao Dick goes back crying to the family that he found Jason and that he’s ALIVE but he doesn’t remember anything and “Bruce, Bruce, he’s getting his degree. He got into uni. He’s— he’s happy—“

And Bruce (after confirming Jay’s identity) just starts leaving him huge cheques and visiting him under the cover of “scouting for young talents” and “scholarship programs courtesy of WE” and Tim shyly starts waiting for Jason at his favorite café to get to know him, and Dick skips “subtle” entirely and drops by every other day to have dinner with Jason or watch a movie.

Meanwhile Jason has to pretend to keep his cool and not give himself away (he likes his peace and quiet, thank you very much) and becomes progressively more guilt ridden with every instance he does something entirely mundane (reading a book, swearing like a sailor, cooking spaghetti) and Bruce or Dick begin tearing up.

#lmao that would be a fun read #angst be gone #well most angst anyway #Jason just wants to live his life #and stay away from the bats #the bats did NOT get that memo #bonus points if Jason still does some vigilante work on the side #just not full time anymore #he aggressively refuses to use the cheques #at least until Bruce keeps inviting himself over and lossing jason off with his presence alone #from that point onward he spends every single dollar out of spite #or alternatively: Bruce gets progressively more frantic because he doesn’t know how Jay pays for college and housing AND food #and thinks Jay is starving himself to get his degree (he’s not) #and starts leaving hundred dollar bills all around Jason’s apartment #Jason is Not impressed #jason todd #brainstorming #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #ghost talks #tim drake #red hood #batman

[tequiilasunriise]

When Steph and Cass get married they don’t take the last name Brown (Daddy Issues™️) or Cain (Daddy Issues Prime™️) or even Wayne (Steph absolutely REFUSES to become a Wayne nosirree), but a secret fourth thing (Gordan).

#BARBRA GORDON IS CASS’ MAMA AND TO AN EXTEND STEPH’S TOO OKAY #yes Steph still has Crystal but yall can NOT tell me she didnt lowkey look up to Babs as a secondary mom figure #the only one who is in on the jig is Kate bc shes officating the whole thing bc DUH and the way she fucken WHEEZZEEDDD when Steph explained #the way Kate would stand at the podium and anounce with such a smug grin #looking DIRECTLY at Bruce #‘I pronounce you…. MRS STEPHANIE AND MRS CASSANDRA GORDAN!’ #the sheer fucken UPROARRRR #Steph LAUNCHES herself into Cass’ arms and kisses her senselessly as her now wife effortlessly carries her in a bridal carry #babs takes a second to process before instantly losing her NIND bc oh these crazy kids did NOT no no shes not crying #(she is. she so is. her date Dinah is handing her a hankerchief) #the batbros minus dami are hollering and cheering bc YEAHHHH STICK TO THE MANNNN #dami himself is dismissive and muttering about how could anyone throw away the wayne name like this #(on the inside he actually thinks this is pretty funny and must admit Barbra’s last name is a worthy rival to the Wayne name) #Bruce. Bruce is stunned. shell shocked. this girldad just lost his fav kid his princess #Jim is just having a damn good time bro is clapping Bruce on the back and having a good laugh over it all #also does this mean he has two honorary grandkids? no? well suck it bruce theyre my grandkids now #the other gothmanites who were invited like the birds of pret or the gotham city sirens are also all clowning on Brucie Boy #dc #stephcass #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #batfam

[oifaaa]

Consider: An AU where Bruce was visiting Jason's grave right when he dug himself out of it. Like, imagine, Bruce is there to drop off flowers, talking to the stone when the earth under it turns up and a hand reaches out. Jason, who has been desperately clawing his way to the air above, feels a hand take his and haul him back into the sun. His father is there to take him home. For a time, father and son are just happy to be reunited. And then Jason finds out that the man who killed him is still alive. idk, is this anything?

This is quite a common premise for a lot of wholesome cute fix it fanfics and I'm gonna say the same thing I always say when someone's asks "what would have happened if someone was there when Jason dug himself out of the ground" and that is I don't think your first instict to seeing someone crawl out of their grave after 6 months of them being dead is "this is a miracle" as much as it would be "this shit is cursed fuck this zombie" especially in the dc universe or even just Gotham a city that is already cursed to the high heavens add onto that how paranoid Bruce is if he sees Jason crawl out of the ground when he just so happened to be visiting... nope that is a trap 100% someone is fucking with him Jason's going back where he belongs

#ask #The-dracologist #insert that one piece gif #like imo bruce would spend a lot of time examing jason #trying to figure out who resurrected him #and then get all sad bc he knows jason is dead #and what ever this is its not his real son #you can not ever convince me this scenario would turn out good for anyone involved #so for heart-warming moments its cute (...as long as tim isnt invited) #but overall #realistically #jasons getting beaten back into the ground with a shovel 💕

[mistergreatbones]

People always say bruce kidnapped jason immediately after meeting him but at least he only took him in after leaving him at the crime orphanage didn’t work out. With cass they had exactly one conversation consisting of them drawing in the dirt and throwing punches at each other while bruce projected his past experiences onto her and then he was welcoming her in like “i have complete confidence that she won’t kill anybody”

#batfam #i can not stress enough that I am not exaggerating. #Bruce genuinely left Jason at ‘Ma Gunn’s School for Boy’ and Ma Gunn tried to force Jason into goon hood #she was trying to get the boys to steal shit it was literally Oliver Twist #and Cass? first meeting was b guessing what Cass’ gestures meant #gestures such as ‘no speaking only fighting’ which b only could guess at because he also trained under Cain #then Cass drew a picture of 2face in the dirt with a stick and indicated she wanted to beat him up as well as her father #b told her not to. she did so anyways and it impressed batman and him and babs give her the batgirl suit #next issue Bruce is directing all his allies and Tim’s like hey who’s the assassin chick and Bruce is like don’t worry about it I trust her #jason todd #cassandra wayne #cassandra cain #I mean bruce DID take in a child he only met a day ago and invited him to be robin before telling him his name #so like yes it’s still a ridiculous and probably irresponsible thing to do #bones' bitching hours

[frownyalfred]

fics where Clark invites Bruce to Smallville for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Etc without inviting Alfred -- I'm sorry?? that's his dad?? you're gonna make him leave his dad at home???

#this is just a joke #those fics make sense obvs #but I always wonder about poor alfred #man is prob happy to get a break but still #INVITE HIS DAD YOU COWARDS #superbat #batman #superman #clark kent #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batfamily

[mylifeingotham]

#to damian #tim is the ‘cousin’ bruce told him to invite #batman #bruce wayne #robin #damian wayne al ghul #dc riddler #gotham #arkham riddler #gotham riddler #joker #batman and robin #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #richard grayson #damian wayne #tim drake wayne #tim drake #dc robin #red robin #alfred pennyworth #batfam #riddler #koriand'r #thomas wayne #beast boy #batfamily #steph brown #lego batman

[littlefankingdom]

Jason should have pull a "Mamma Mia" The Musical and invite his three potential mothers to a Wayne event with a letter signed Willis Todd, and he wouldn't have died.

#jason todd #red hood #dc comics #my ramblings #I know I'm a genius #It would have been so funny tho #like Bruce seeing Lady Shiva show up to a gala and is like “wtfwtfwtfwtf” #but she is just looking for a man she knew and who send her an invite not knowing he is dead #bruce: “Jason why is one of the most dangerous assassin in my ballroom looking for your late father?” jason: “idk”