#but having this scene explained to me?? i was like... wow I did something LMAO

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

harrison braindump on main but i'm revising the BB ch. 2 bathroom scene between him and suz for a class and something my prof mentioned to me in office hours has TOTALLY skewed the way I see that scene (in a great way).

they mentioned (more or less) that suz is entering this scene with an understanding that her son is humiliating her, which I think is so fascinating. they had pointed out this image of pool water being tracked alllll through a rich person's house (messing with the hardwood, staining the carpets, etc) and how that's such a... defeating moment for suz as a mother.

this was kind of a brainwave for me because a) I'd never thought of that even though duh (I mean... imagine your disaster 21-year-old child breaks into someone's house and floats in their pool fully-clothed and then is caught by the owners who pity him and call YOU instead of the police) and b) it's such an interesting reveal of a theme I hadn't even considered in BODY BACK--humiliation--and what it means to be humiliated and also humiliate someone else.

this whoooole book is a giant humiliation! for suz, she's totally getting the fact that she's not been a great mother thrown into her face--which is hard for her to accept because she's trying now (the question for her becomes: is it too late?). for harrison, he's experienced soooo much humiliation in his relationship with lonan & of course in his relationship with suz when he was a child, and now he's projecting all of that back onto her.

this scene is such a pain to edit--I didn't even like it when I shared some excerpts in my update--but something about my prof basically saying, 'if she enters it with a sense he’s humiliating her, that’s strong fuel,' revealed something deeply complex about BB to me... what does it mean to experience humiliation when you've been humiliated so many times, and what does it mean to almost carnally desire to humiliate those who've also hurt you?

that question, I think, has driven harrison to where he is now (24-karat territory) where his entire persona atm is quite humiliating (also cool but mostly humiliating lol). he's almost... desperately accepting that humiliation in fear that if he doesn't, it'll make him VERY aware of his vulnerability.

which... this gets even more interesting when we remember that in feeding habits, humiliation is a big theme for LONAN, so much so that harrison even notices it in narrative.

and then also to remember this chapter is ALLL about mary & jesus as much as it is about suz & harrison... and THEN to remember that when young jesus terrifies the living shit out of his mother by staying back in jerusalem, the first thing he says to her when she asks him "why did you do this, you scared me" could be interpreted as humiliating (he basically goes "why were you even worried, didn't you just KNOW I'd be in my father's house??")... like damn HAHA

#anyway it was terrifying to have other people read this #especially because I already: didn't like it #but wow actually editing your writing can make it better when u didn't initially like it??? #a CONCEPT #I wish I'd had more opportunities to talk through my work like this #as a pantser it's almost integral sometimes to have people tell YOU what they think your work is... #perhaps it's just me but most of the time??? intention is deeply subconscious #but having this scene explained to me?? i was like... wow I did something LMAO #need to do some more literary analysis on my writing tho actually i'm fantastic??? somehow??? HAHAHAHA #anyway harrison is so interesting i need to poke at him like he's the operation boardgame man

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you sacrifice your strawberries and eyelash wishes for the boy knocking at your door.

idol!jungkook x reader, strangers to friends (?) to lovers / fluff and a pinch of angst / word count: 5.5k

content/warnings: allusions to death and grief / jungkook is a cutie patootie and a blushing hopeless romantic mess / he wants to kiss oc so bad (me too bro) / oc is a sunshine <3 / they do chores and watch movies together :((( / in one scene he was worried oc would think of him as a perv lmao / they’re dorks and i love them / seokjin cameo hehehe

> in which masterlist!

note: to make up for the pain i may have caused and will cause <3 LOL. i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing :D as always reblogs and feedback are appreciated! come chat w me. ily 🌼

—

“it’s so cold,” you mutter through chattering teeth.

the grocery bags sit on the hardwood table with a thud— the careless bringer too hasty. you shove your icy hands in the deep pockets of your jacket, breathing in and out with a sense of relief.

you are not granted the mundane euphoria for much longer, however. the doorbell rings and you are padding across the floor against your will. the cold air hits your face before it enters your apartment.

however, the happy smile that greets you blankets your heart with a type of warmth that is difficult to describe.

if you had to guess who was behind the door, you wouldn’t say the boy you’ve been fiercely pining over for the past month, but it is certainly who you’d be hoping for regardless.

“good morning!”

“oh! wait there for a moment!”

jungkook stands motionless by your open front door as you disappear into your apartment. confusion accompanied by curiosity, he tries poking his head inside, but then decides that he shouldn’t.

upon your return, his face lights up again.

“here you go!”

he accepts the jar of honey faster than he could think.

“w-why are you-?”

you tilt your head, lips forming a small pout. “isn’t that what you’re here for?”

“uh, actually-” he awkwardly pauses, hand that carries the heavy paper bag behind him suddenly feeling weak. “i came here to give you something.”

your eyes animatedly expand in surprise of the size of it, not at all expecting to receive a gift from him today. you do know that he’s fresh from japan, as you converse on the phone almost everyday… why would he come here almost immediately? and didn’t he say they weren’t given the chance to roam the city because of their work schedule?

“i just grabbed things i thought you might like. i hope i got most of them right?” he explains with a nervous chuckle as you take a look inside.

a diverse array of snacks; a beautiful journal painted with cherry blossoms; a hello kitty plushie; stickers, muji pens…

“oh my god, jungkook… these are too much. you didn’t have to.”

oh, curse the hopeless fluttering of your heart.

“wow, gifting your merch- that’s real idol behavior for you.” you tease him, referring to the hooded jacket that has their group logo on its plastic packaging. “thank you!”

“no but it seriously warms you up! i have one too!”

“jungkook, why are you so cute?!”

“ah, shut up! i’m getting embarrassed!” he whines, blushing. “just look at them later after i leave, how about that?”

“let go! it’s mine!” you glare at him, hugging the paper bag to your chest to deny his advances on snatching it away. “are you not leaving? don’t you have work?”

“i told you— it’s my rest day.”

“you did?”

“while we were texting last night.”

“oh,” you blink. “i don’t remember reading that.”

“you? what are you doing today?”

you bite back the smile threatening to give away the thoughts running in your mind a thousand miles per hour. why does he want to know?

“nothing special. just chores the entire day.”

jungkook puts his hand inside the pocket of his coat, an attempt to appear casual as he offers you his valiant effort. “do you want some help? i’m good at doing chores.”

you stare at him, perplexed, as if he just said the most ridiculous sentence you’ve ever heard in your entire life.

“it’s your rest day and you want to do chores?”

“sure,” he grins playfully, not at all seeing how that could be wrong. “why not?”

“you know…” you pause— observing his expression, considering shutting your mouth, but that plan rarely ever works out. “you can just say that you want to spend time with me, right?”

your bluntness sends his heart racing. you’re a danger to his health.

he sinks his perfect teeth on his bottom lip, bringing his dimples into view. to be honest, you didn’t always have a thing about dimples. you didn’t consider them all that special. but why do they make him look cute and sexy at the same time?

his cheeks become tinted with a pale scarlet. you’re wearing that friendly beam again; he doesn’t know how to act. he never knows whether you are joking or not.

“well, now i know.”

—

jungkook sets down the jar of honey on the table as he settles in the living room, fascinated doe eyes darting around every inch of your place. it’s not his first time here, but somehow, it looks different each time. the two frames hanging above the sofa captures his attention all over again, colorful drawings against the plain white wall. gifted to you by your siblings, you said.

a tall castle with a happy family. a little boy slaying a dragon to protect a princess from its savage fire.

he is blissfully unaware of the knowledge that the drawings are the lone survivors of a school bus and a tragedy. you want it to stay that way. you want people to feel the opposite of the sadness you feel when you look at them. that is how you seek your peace.

“are you wearing toe socks?”

“huh?” he makes a sound of confusion, only processing your question upon seeing your gaze trained to his feet. “ah- toe socks- yes.”

“i’m only noticing them now. they look funny.” you scrunch your nose, chuckling.

“don’t laugh! they’re so comfortable!”

“really?” your eyes widen with genuine interest. “i should try them then.”

“yeah, you should!”

he whips his head around as he jokingly voices out an observation.

“but ____, your house kind of looks different today… it’s almost like it’s cleaner than the last time i was here.”

you bury your face in your hands with a high-pitched wine, hiding from him in humiliation. you did not plan on inviting someone over that night, and he had to watch you run around organizing and picking up things— the scattered books all over the table and the floor; the jackets that have created a big heap on the small couch; the jewelry box that ended up on the dining table for some reason.

he laughs in endearment, unable to take his eyes from you. even the way your hair bounces as you furiously shake your head is pretty. wait, does that sound weird?

“that’s right, it should look different! the first thing i did when winter break started was clean up my mess.”

“what’s the first chore on the list then?” he catches the grocery bags in the kitchen from his peripheral. “were you putting away your groceries?”

“you really want to do chores? you don’t want to watch a movie or something?”

“aigoo, it’s fine!” he waves off your reluctance. “stop worrying! i already said i’d help you.”

“but it’s embarrassing…”

it’s either jungkook is denying your advances or he is simply dense. but the fact that he showed up at your door unannounced on his day-off despite complaining about his exhaustion from their hectic work schedule, you want to lean towards the latter and believe that he is… as good at chores like he claims to be.

“you must like fruits a lot.” jungkook comments as he is squatted infront of your fridge, sheltering the freshly bought perishables one by one.

kimchi, lettuce, strawberries, tangerines, shine muscat, apples…

this is an entirely different world through your lens.

it feels strange to watch another person restock your fridge for you.

“they’re easy to eat and i’m lazy to cook.”

he chuckles as he looks back at you, who is sat on the dining table, airy and carefree as you snack on a bag of assorted chocolates from the paper bag he brought. almost all of the white chocolates are gone, he notes.

“not because they’re nutritious?”

“that’s the bonus!”

“what is this?”

“cranberry juice.”

“and this?”

“oyster sauce.”

you energetically hop off the table, an idea lighting up the bulb in your mind.

“i have another recipe for you. french toast with strawberries, then drizzle some of the honey. should i make it for you?”

“ah!” he gasps as if he is in pain, but the truth is his mouth is watering. he hasn’t eaten breakfast, and he wanted to eat more for dinner last night but sleep proved to be much more enticing than food. “that sounds so good! i’m starving!”

“stand up!” you begin pulling at the back of his sweater, forcing him to remove himself from the floor. “i’ll make it! just go relax in the living room, okay?”

“but you just said you’re lazy to cook.” he tilts back his head, meeting your gaze. “i’ll help you.”

“i’m not lazy when it becomes to being a host.”

you bend down with a sweet smile, merely inches away from him, and jungkook swears the earth has stopped spinning on its axis. your face is natural and bare, except for the sheen of lip balm across your lips— and dear heavens, having you this close, you are so breathtakingly beautiful.

“they’re playing christmas movies on channel 36.” you announce, giving him the bag of chocolates. “and the remote is… somewhere on the sofa… or maybe the floor.”

and as he gets practically kicked out of the kitchen, your hands roughly pushing his back, he daydreams of kissing you and tasting sugar on your lips.

—

the sweet, addicting smell of the french toast— strong hints of butter and cinnamon— invades every corner of your apartment. consequently, it also compels jungkook to break your rules and insert himself in the kitchen again.

“you never give up, do you?”

“i don’t,” he agrees, nodding eagerly. he has successfully stolen the task of washing the strawberries, and then slicing them after. he endures the freezing water rendering his hands numb. “it’s a known fact.”

“are you saying i should study harder?” you cross your arms, expression painted with faux vexation.

“yes! exactly!” he humors you, grinning of amusement. “what’s my favorite color?”

you sigh, looking at him from head to toe.

“anyone can guess that from a mile away, jungkook.”

“fuck, okay. that’s fair!”

the sound of his laughter reminds of you reasons to stay through the cycle of the seasons. you don’t understand why, but for some reason, it has finally begun to feel like christmas. the only comfort that comes along with the cruel winter that nips at your skin; the blanket over your heart that provides a type of warmth one can travel to seek but will never be able to find alone.

“what’s my height then?”

“aren’t you six feet?”

the silence that follows is an answer enough for you. the noise of the television emerges now that none of you is talking. he pretends to be too busy to speak, transferring the strawberries over to the chopping board.

“yes, you’re ri-”

“liar!” you point an accusatory finger at him.

and he winces, guilty as charged.

“you hesitated!”

“tsk, i should’ve said yes faster! i wanted to experience what it’s like to be tall!” he regretfully purses his lips, eyebrows knitted as if he just lost the lottery. “but haven’t you read it online? even my shoe size and weight are there.”

“what? why do people even need to know that…?” you exclaim, flabbergasted. “i mean- of course i’ve searched up your name, but it feels like cheating on a test. does that sound silly…? it’s just more fun learning about you from you.”

you briefly walk away to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and jungkook is left at the counter with fondness blossoming in his chest, bleeding into the chopped strawberries staining his hands red.

he calls out your name.

“mhmm?” you hum in question, muffled by the water in your mouth.

“want to hear a fact about me?”

you wipe your lips with the back of your hand, eyes expanding with fueled interest. “what?”

“i’m actually very good in the kitchen.” he boasts his skills with the kitchen knife, quick and precise, the blade against the wood creating the satisfying click you usually only hear from cooking shows. “are you seeing this? huh…? what do you think?”

“so i’ve noticed. i want something new!”

at that, his shoulder sags in disappointment. to his demise, there goes another failed attempt at making you acknowledge that he is boyfriend material.

“what do you want to know? ask me questions.”

“what’s your ideal type?”

being in your presence for the past hour has gotten jungkook re-adjusted to your personality— straight-forward, bold, smart— so vivacious that it’s dizzying. you make him nervous and comfortable at the same time, and he doesn’t quite know how to explain it either. but you’re a breath of fresh air, the change that he has been anticipating to disrupt his routine.

“why do you want to know that?”

you shrug coyly, smiling like the troublesome vixen that you are. you rather enjoy the tension that has hung in the air. if you’ve learned something from the past: men are easy to get, not easy to keep. because they relish in the chase, getting strung along like this. so, shouldn’t you have your fun too? but even if jungkook’s intentions were pure, you can only imagine that seeing someone whose life revolves around their career is… the perfect recipe for disaster.

“i think who you like also says a lot about who you are as a person.”

“i like someone who is kind and funny…” he hums in thought, unconsciously slotting a piece of strawberry in between his lips. “and passionate about the things they love… mhmm, someone who can be honest with me.”

his words form a constellation named after you, unbeknownst to you, and he wants to say more but anticipating what comes next after you connect the dots makes his stomach twist. he doesn’t feel like an adult yet. he’s still just a young boy with a gorgeous crush and high ambitions that coalesce in his dreams.

“i like someone who has a really pretty smile, too.”

and he should probably stop staring, erase the dumb lovesick smile on his face. for fuck’s sake, it would be easier for him if you would just do the same. behind the sparkles of your eyes, there is something he’s been dying to decipher.

“okay, why are you looking at me like that?”

because you are so pretty, especially when you smile.

“nothing,” he replies innocently. “you? what’s your ideal type? who do you like?”

“i don’t know… no one has captured my heart yet. they’re not trying hard enough!”

every romance you’ve had so far has been a letdown.

“but i’m still looking. i’m young, and hot, and the universe is vast.”

“mhm, i see… that’s true, but maybe… you don’t want to be looking too far.” jungkook suggests.

you smirk. “so you agree that i’m hot?”

“you know. you don’t need me to say it.” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“but i want to hear you say it.”

“you’re very beautiful, ____.”

“but that’s not-”

“the food is ready! let’s eat it before it gets cold!”

he runs to the living room without waiting for you, and you seize the opportunity to squeal without a sound, punching the counter without actually punching— releasing the giddiness threatening to spill from the seams of your heart.

you don’t know if this is heading somewhere, nor do you expect it to, but where you are right now is a good place to be.

—

the movie playing on the screen has become more of a white noise to you, a family comedy far less fascinating compared to jungkook drizzling honey over strawberries and bread from a spoon. you wonder if he is aware how often he creates sound effects while he is doing something.

beside you, his body quakes with cackles during the scenes that an editor would definitely insert the classic sound of an audience’s collective laughter and holler. you stumble upon the understanding that his happiness lies in a myriad of things, and you would envy him for it if not for the fact that he is currently sharing that happiness with you. you laugh when he laughs, and being becomes a little less heavier at that moment.

another commercial break rudely interrupts and jungkook turns towards you. the two of you sit cross-legged, knees knocking against each other as you occupy nearly the entire sofa.

“hi!”

“hi.”

“what are your plans for the holidays?”

“my best friend’s family invited me to stay with them for christmas until the new year. it’s kind of been a tradition since…”

the end of your sentence hangs suspended in the air. you still can’t say it out loud.

jungkook knows they’re gone and you’re alone: only the plain and brutal truths.

the reminder that this is the third christmas you will not spend with your family; the thought that this would be the third christmas they would spend without you if the afterlife was real— they bring tears to your eyes at once, but you forcibly blink them away, shoving enthusiasm down your throat.

“how about you?” you take a bite from your toast, attempting to divert your thoughts to… anything else. “are you coming home?”

you hide so well behind a smile. it doesn’t occur to jungkook that his question rubbed salt on an open wound.

“i miss my mom but i can’t go home yet.” he pouts. “i have work on christmas day as usual. we’ve been preparing hard for it.”

“oh, that’s right! gayo daejeon?!”

he nods in confirmation.

the music festival has been an annual event for his group since they debuted, and he never feels the need to complain because not everyone is given this kind of opportunity. what’s extraordinary for most has become his ordinary, and what was once his ordinary like everybody else’s has simply become a thing of the past. nevertheless, he does not have regrets. he is living a good life, one that he believes is his fate. as long as he has a voice and it is being heard, then his existence has meaning.

“your family will surely watch you, so they’re still celebrating it with you in a way. making them proud is the best christmas gift you can give!”

and right now, in his life, you are the cherry on top. you were so cheerful and supportive about the final shows of their tour as well, raving about how amazing it is to perform three nights in a row at gocheok skydome.

“i’ll watch you too!”

he can’t help it— you’re driving him to be better at what he does. childishly, he wants show off and be the one to capture your heart.

“ah!” he groans. “that means i should work harder at practice tomorrow! i can’t mess up infront of you and my family!”

“why not me? you want to make me proud too?” you interrogate him jokingly.

“of course, it’s my job. it’s what i do best. i’ll make you see!”

“use me as motivation then. you can’t mess up, okay? you have to do well, jungkook! you better not make a mistake! my eyes will be focused on you only!”

his face is reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights— the headlights being your wide, threatening eyes.

he releases a shaky sigh in dramatic fashion. “i don’t feel motivated, though? i’m getting pressured?”

you wheeze; the plate over your lap tilts along with its contents.

“this is tough love!”

jungkook nearly staggers to his feet. “…love?”

you roll your eyes, small corners of your lips still cheekily lifted. “was the french toast good?”

jungkook is interrupted before he can form a response.

“but if it tastes like shit, just lie to me!”

“what are you talking about?!”

oh my god, you’re too fucking good at making him laugh.

“you’re eating it too! you know it’s delicious!”

“maybe you got a bad batch!”

—

“i’m going to the laundry shop across the street. i’ll just be a minute.” you announce, hauling a laundry basket to the living room.

your strained grunts prompt jungkook to look up from his phone, and eventually to stand up with urgency and relieve you of your heavy, heavy burden.

“shit, how heavy is this?”

you’re not given a chance to protest as the basket is immediately stolen from your grasp; your lips part open but no words come out.

“i’ll come with you!”

“well, hopefully not more than twelve kilos.”

it’s definitely heavier than usual; mainly comprised of the thick and layered clothes you’ve been wearing to shield yourself from the unforgiving cold.

“let’s go.”

jungkook wraps his hand around your wrist, gently tugging. the butterflies in your stomach wakes up earlier than spring’s arrival.

“this thing is bigger than you.”

an extremely obvious exaggeration.

“i’ll be the one to carry it.“

—

jungkook wears a cap and a face mask underneath his hoodie, eyes barely even visible in his all-black getup for the public to see; and somehow you also find yourself with a scarf around your neck, pulled up over the bridge of your nose.

when the year 2017 rolled in, you predicted that more crazy, life-altering stuff would happen. it has been an on-going theme, a relentless domino effect that has brought you to your knees time and time again. but you never would’ve fucking imagined that this is how you would be wrapping it up. how the hell did you cross paths with a famous idol, and why is he carrying your laundry basket right now?

“wait here for a bit.” you bring both hands to the basket’s handles, coaxing him to let go. “i’ll just bring it inside.”

“are you only dropping it off? that’s expensive!”

“what?” you stare at him in bewilderment, not expecting him to utter such statement at all. “you’re talking like you’re not rich!”

“i’m not! and still,” jungkook becomes flustered underneath his disguise. “it’s good to be practical. anyway, we have a lot of time.”

“you sound more like a mom than my mom did.”

“shhh!” he shushes you, putting a finger over his face mask. “let’s just do your laundry ourselves.”

“why would you do laundry right now? you’re supposed to be resting in the first place!”

a tug of war ensues infront of the laundry shop. strangers doesn’t know better. you look like a married couple bickering over who should take responsibility of the chore.

“____, just let me, mhm? i’m a pro at doing laundry too! we’ll be done before you know it!”

“how are you good at everything? honestly, it sounds like a scam!”

“how dare you doubt me?” he gasps in offense. “i do my own laundry!”

“seriously?” you quirk an eyebrow.

“i’m serious!”

“i don’t think i believe you, though…”

“if you search online, you-” your voice echoes in his mind, and subsequently, jungkook cuts himself off.

‘it feels like cheating on a test. it’s more fun learning about you from you.’

“oh, nevermind. let’s go inside already. i’m freezing!”

“jungkook!” you whine, stomping your feet on the ground as you refuse to let go of the basket despite jungkook beginning to head inside.

“why?” he copies the childishness of your tone, and although you can’t see his face, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes tell you enough.

“we can’t…”

the adorable sight of you appearing to be so shy is foreign to him. he can’t help but to chuckle. “why not?”

your lips form a pout.

“my panties…”

you bring a finger to point at the basket.

“they’re in there too… i was only going to drop them off today because you came with me…”

“ah…” jungkook awkwardly freezes, unblinking. “wait, you’re right?”

why didn’t he think of that? he’s a fucking idiot. of fucking course. what if you take things the wrong way and you’re creeped out by him now?!

“fuck, sorry. i’m sorry. i wasn’t- um, i swear i wasn’t trying to…”

his tongue becomes tied, struggling to search for the words that won’t make him sound like a damn pervert.

yeah, way to go, jungkook. you’re not the fucking boyfriend yet and you’re ruining your chances.

“did i make you uncomfortable? i’m sorry. it probably looked li-”

“hey, breathe, calm down. it’s alright, jungkook.”

you giggle in amusement, placing a hand over his chest— his heart. it’s meant to ease him, but the knowledge that you’re feeling his racing heartbeat only causes it to further intensify. he swallows the lump in his throat, dumbfounded by the turn of events. he wants the ground to swallow him whole, but he also wants to stay in this moment a little while longer.

“it’s alright. i’ll go bring this inside then i’ll treat you to lunch at the restaurant over there! don’t run away from me, okay?”

—

“the yukgaejang looks good.” you utter absentmindedly, admiring the spicy beef soup with plentiful vegetables from afar. “i’m jealous of you.”

the other tables are already having a feast while you and jungkook are waiting for your take-out to be prepared.

“then you should’ve ordered it too.” jungkook scolds you lightheartedly. “should i go?”

“no! i’m not good with spicy food. spice makes me cry.”

he smiles softly. once again, you complete the picture from his eyes. “what is there to frown so sadly about?”

“i feel like i’m missing out.” you complain, the pout on your face almost permanent. “spicy food is like one of the trademarks of korea, you know? but i can’t handle it!”

“so cute…” jungkook has decided to give in to his impulses, it seems— the evidence is him pinching your cheek for the very first time, and with the discovery of its delightsome softness, it will definitely not be the last.

“oh, oh, oh! an eyelash!”

his doe eyes glisten with pure wonder and excitement, and the air in your lungs becomes suspended when his hand moves to tenderly cup the side of your face. as he is absorbed in capturing the tiny eyelash that has fallen and glued itself on your cheek, your mind reels with the size of his hand, the sensation of his innocent touch against your neck.

“aaand-” jungkook takes your hand, passing on the eyelash to your index finger. “there you go. make a wish!”

your eyes flicker down, and none of you speaks for a moment or two.

a wish…?

what does one wish for when they have given up on wishing for miracles?

“did you do it?”

you peek at jungkook, nodding. at last, you blow the eyelash away, outside the window, where it becomes one with the snowflakes that came from the same sky where wishes are supposedly granted.

“what did you wish for?”

“i’ll tell you when it comes true.”

—

jungkook eats so well— you feel full just by watching him eat. so when he asked you, eyebrows knitted and legs bouncing, if he could have more rice, you were left with no choice but to plug in the rice cooker for the second time today. you cooked only enough for two meals today: brunch and dinner for one. you’re more than happy to have given him the dinner portion. you like that your apartment is providing warmth for another soul, despite the old times that it housed ones that ended up haunting you.

“are there any more chores to do? while we wait for the rice?”

you gaze switches from him to the living room.

the boy who was knocking at your door is now vacuuming your floors.

you sit on the couch with your legs hugged to your chest, chin propped on your knees. an unexplainable feeling swims in your chest, but your heart calls to welcome it. not to be delusional, but technically, isn’t this a marriage proposal?

it falls on dear ears— the infuriating sound of the cheap vacuum cleaner your landlord lended you and never came back for. underneath it is jungkook’s mellifluous voice, humming and singing, and it’s all you can hear.

the only use you knew of honey is the magic it does with tea for a sore throat. when you learned about his demanding occupation, he is all you can think of in relation to the elixir. since then, you’ve been taking the god awful amount of honey your pesky neighbor provides without any complaints.

this is nice… this is good. you are glad that you opened the door.

—

after a hearty and satisfying meal, you and jungkook retired to your previous spots infront of the television screen. more of the snacks he bought for you ended up being shared. near your stacks of books are colorful food wrappers and half-empty glasses of water. two mediocre yet entertaining movies later, you tell jungkook that you should pick up your laundry before the shop closes in an hour. however, after he has excused himself to the bathroom, he is greeted by the sight of you peacefully asleep on the sofa.

once more, a new side of you is laid bare, and his affection grows. he doesn’t know when he can admire your face this close again without melting from your stare.

heedful of disturbing your much deserved rest, he carefully places a pillow beneath your head, and he pulls down the blanket you’re wrapped in to cover your cold feet.

with one last stolen glimpse, he grabs your key and receipt from the bowl and leaves.

—

“is it time for you to leave?” you delicately rub at your eyes that are still half-closed; voice quiet, barely there.

you were awoken by the front door opening and closing, but nothing has quite registered to your fuzzy brain yet, except for the coat that you neatly kept and is already re-worn by its owner.

and he knows you’re most probably just sleepy, but the way you’re gazing at him as if you’re sad to see him go makes his heart clench.

“no, i picked up your laundry.” he enlightens you, consciously speaking with refined tenderness, as to preserve the serenity that has enveloped the atmosphere. “i can stay until eight. is that okay?”

you release a weary sigh, nodding. “of course… and you’re such a nice friend, thank you.”

he plops down on the sofa, filling the jungkook-shaped space beside you.

tired… you’re so tired… despite the given privilege to finally sleep to your heart’s content, you’re still so tired. your forehead lands softly on his shoulder, and unbeknownst to you due to your stupor, jungkook’s breath hitches— the polar opposite of the steady rise and fall of your chest. you make him swoon. he deliberately ignores the fact that you just called him a friend.

you peer down at the floor, past the curtain of your disheveled hair, slowly blinking. those ridiculous toe socks… you giggle in secret.

“jungkook?”

“yes?”

“are you cold?”

“freezing.”

you lift your head and he knows— you have to be playing games with his heart, bringing the temptation to kiss you so painfully close. “do you want some tea?”

—

the performance has commenced but the passionate screams of the audience still rings in jungkook’s ears as he runs backstage, chased by the staff attempting to wipe the sweat he is practically bathing in. he squeezes one eye shut as beads of sweat threaten to enter it. his chest heaves with exhaustion and his heart pumps with overwhelming adrenaline. most of the time, this job doesn’t feel real. he feels high. this is the textbook definition of a dream.

“where’s my phone? please? does anyone have it?” he yells in the midst of the chaos and clamor as he completely strips off his in-ears.

a hand reaches towards him with the device, and his expression of gratitude gets lost somewhere among the repetitive reminders of the remaining time before they should have returned to their designated seats.

he allows the hair and make-up stylists to do their jobs, him as their doll in need of a retouch. on the other hand, he impatiently waits for his phone to power on.

the tapping of jungkook’s foot ceases, and from his glowing reflection on the vanity mirror, the clueless people surrounding him witnesses love strike.

guess my eyelash wish worked like a charm. your performances went really well

and you looked so cool on stage ☺️

merry christmas jungkook ❤️

“jungkook-ah, what are you smiling at?!”

seokjin cackles. jungkook didn’t even notice him roll his chair so close. he then decides to play dumb to tease their youngest one.

“wow, who is this ____ you’re texting?”

“hyung!” jungkook panics, hissing underneath his breath. “lower your voice!”

“ouch!” seokjin yells, rubbing his arm that was hit as a punishment.

he allows a moment of silence.

his expression goes blank and he avenges himself.

“ah!” jungkook gasps as the slap on his thigh resonates, forced to be ripped away from overthinking a text message. “hyung! you better start running!”

Draft: i know it’s late.. but can i see you later?|

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook one shot #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook au #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook smut

[shoezuki]

Shoe im too sleep deprived to go zooming on all those screenshots and redownloadong the bird app, may i ask what is happening w the dream drama u posted? I love ur summaries, they make me laugh about things i am gratefully unaware of

My beloved anon im sorry it took me this long. But i am lazy. No other reason really. So i am now chronicling this dhit on my phone. And oh fuck dude is it a trip

SO. this fuckery began with quackity announcing the QSMP. He did so on the 17th of march and whatever the fuck. He mentioned it earlier than this (edit: just checked but the First announcements was the 10th)

And this is all great. New server that fucks. But what truly started all this. Was dream's tweet on his private twitter.

Im gonna try to be kinda impartial qnd jus. Explain it all as is but first i gotta say who says this shit lmao. So quackity announces his new project and is very passionate about it, he tweets more on his alt(?) About how much it means to him to bring his two languages spanish and english together. And dream on private is like 'wow cool! Guys dont get mad at me when i announce the same thing later tho haha' its just so weird.

But anyways. The usmp wasnt even A Thing. Only written instance of dream makin a multilingual server was in a tweet defending himself from copying quackity. (Altho he allegedly mentions in streams or whatever wanting yo do things w other ppl from other languages? But that shit dont count n im not diggin audio n videos out fuck that).

The actual, official announcement of dream makin a usmp was april 2nd (idk why this says the 3rd but whatever) wherein he announces the 'first multilingual smp' with a list of languages that will be on it such as portugese, spanish, english, russian, etc. And that it has live translation.

The same day, quackity releases a tweet labelling the qsmp as the 'first multilingual smp' and that he is introducing a live translation system to it. Mr beast connects that the usmp and qsmp are similar to which dream responds. Quackity doesnt respond, nor does he acknowledge the usmp at all.

Dream's response is essentially theyre different in that qsmp is spanish and english, he announced his live translator first, they had 'similar good ideas'.

So. This sparked a lot of drama and discussion. Because of the 'first multilingual' bit in that people began discrediting qsmp as it was 'only' english and spanish, and therefore was bilingual and not multilingual. Altho others countered thid by saying quackity himself called it a multilingual server in his streams. Not to mention the idea that the translator was copied but regardless both those things are kinda stupid arguments and just drama inspired by the comparisons.

More notably is that dream team were making fun of the 'first multilingual server' bit after this. Dream was liking some jokes at it as well

Dream also liked some. Vaguely sexual/romantic 'they should just kiss already' art of him and quackity?

Also after this dream started somewhat addressing/replying to quackity more. Quackity didnt respond to any of it.

Dream also tweeted this on his private the day after

Most narrowed in on the 'this wouldnt have happened without quackity' and was often interpretted as dream saying quackity HELPED him w it in some way or that there was more collab behind the scenes but we will find that to be false. Because. On april 27th. Dream dropped his magnum opus. Which i will include in one screenshot.

Anyways i seriously encourage reading the full thing here because its. Something. Theres so much. It is literally 1.7k words. A lot of it is repetitive but i will. Try. To summarize it.

Essentially dream is writing that he has been trying to contact quackity for some time now with no response. He has been messaging him about how theyve ended up with similar servers (therefore noting that neither one know of the other). This gets nothing. Dream tries contacting quackity more publically with jokes. Nothing. He starts going through secondary sources by talkin to ppl to message quackity for him (i think some people who dream knows that are on the qsmp. Unsure who) but quackity doesnt say shit. Dream is being absolutely ghosted.

Im also noting this last paragraph in his first tweet where he describes being 'taken back' when quackity announces the qsmp live translator after his usmp announcement, because he 'knew it would cause more drama'.

He says he messages quackity so they can plan how to deal with the 'vitriol' between the teo 'communities' and that the drama can be solved with 'communication'. He is ghosted. He also mentions that he puts the usmp 'on hold' in the 2nd tweet so it all can be dealt with and he can 'extend love and support to quackity'. Most notably he says that its alluded that quackity wouldnt let ppl who were on the usmp couldnt be on the qsmp which dream tries to say makes sense for quackity to do.

Theres apparently a fucking image limit on the tumblr app which ive hit so i am now not using images and speedrunning this shit. But im quoting this one thing exactly as its most important:

"That being said, I’ve seen the communities split against each other and have tons of hate build around this and around the speculations of peoples motives and friendships and so on, and it’s really really harmful to the community as a whole. I have seen more threats, doxing, fights, slander, and hate between a bunch of fan bases that I’ve seen in a very long time. I personally have experienced an elevated level of in real life threats & stalkers & even had the police involved in somebody showing up at my house, & even putting trackers on my family vehicles, surrounding this drama, for the first time since pre-face reveal. That’s really why I feel like I have to say something about it despite me wanting to avoid any kind of serious talk about all of this, especially even talking about communication publicly feels wrong but necessary in this instance. I never like to air out anything that feels or is private, but I feel like in this case it’s really important for my fan base to be aware of my intentions, motives, thought process, and how we got to where we are. I’ve always been a creator that’s very open with my fan base about everything going on in my life and this is a massive thing right now for my friends & me"

His last tweet begins with him saying he 'doesnt want anymore drama' and ends eith him saying he loves quackity and believes this is all just a miscommunication.

Now, obviously, shit blew up. Hes been ratiod a few times by people meming it. Ive seen many people on quackity's 'side' saying that the usmp doesnt even exist yet, dream is the one causing drama, etc. And people on dream's 'side' saying quackity is being horrible and needs address this because its caused dream to be in danger. Most importantly. Quackity didnt address it at all.

But then quackity announced he was going live in an hour. And a lot assumed hed say something. But he didnt. His stream was roughly 15 minutes long and it was entirely quackity announcing that he was introducing brazilian/portugese speaking streamers onto the qsmp.

Anyways. Theres a lot of details but my hand hurts now. A big thing is whether qsmp or usmp was 'first'. Imo theres a lot more pointing towards quackity having had this is store for a longass time, as he had been hinting and a project of his for months and more notably the qsmp is so organized and put together i doubt he couldve had it finished up 'after' dream as dream's nonexistent server was an idea he got after that squidcraft thing in early March i think?

More recently (i think today) i saw that quackity apparently took two emojis off his twitch that were dream roblox characters and i saw people freaking out in r/dwt2 about how quackity could be so petty? But ya. My condolences if youve read all this.

#fuck everyone this aint going under a readmore SUFFER. #anyways. opinion of the author: dream is fucked up hoohmygod. #dream #dream hate #dream neg #discourse #anon

[altschmerzes]

Gav I am SO sorry for the length of this ….. also I am going to send a general “how are you doing ask” because this is all Jamie stuff (very therapeutic to talk about him after the week I’ve had) so I hope that’s okay!!!

Okay. So.

Jamie in this episode? A delight. I mean, he’s always a delight but WOW, I didn’t think I could love him more. And I LOVE that he was so happy and silly and having fun and I don’t want my take to take away from that (because I have been in the state I think he was in many times before).

I don’t know if this was intentional from Phil, but I think Jamie was manic in this episode — specifically trauma induced mania. I think that Amsterdam, understandably, was a HUGE trigger for him.

In that heartbreaking scene where Jamie shares something very difficult with Roy, he says “even though my dad weren’t there, it was like he was still with us, y’know?”

Cut to:

Jamie mimicking his dad’s mannerisms from his very first scene (the play punches, the frenetic energy)

Jamie reverting to being a prick for all of two seconds (the tie your laces comment was probably something he heard from his father) to see how far he could push Roy before Roy snapped at him

Running Roy ragged across the streets of Amsterdam the entire episode lol

This sent me spiralling a little because there is SO much evidence to show that Jamie was in trauma / manic in this episode, and how those mannerisms relate to that.

Cut to:

Nonstop movement, running, round offs, bouncing up and down on the spot

Lack of attention span and impulsivity — deciding they need bikes and running off to find them using his street smarts (again, likely mimicking what he has seen his father do) and also deciding that they HAVE to find a windmill. Like absolutely determined, nothing was stopping that boy lmao

Peaking in energy and then suddenly calming down once he’s taught Roy how to ride a bike

Info-dumping and non stop talking

Being confused why Roy wouldn’t want to join in on his imagined adventure “these bikes have just made tonight AMAZING!”

Now listen. Being a person with mania, you can be manic and still be …. you. I think so many of these Jamie moments are hilarious and adorable and not all down to that, but he was DEFINITELY in trauma … getting to that now:

He’s in this crazy good mood the whole night, and then he decides to share ….. the thing ….. with Roy. I think that might be his subconscious bringing up this trauma and sort of explaining the mood he’s been in, which is extremely chaotic for the entire episode until he voices it. Even if he doesn’t KNOW it’s traumatising (“she loved it”), there is something going on here. And the fact that he SUBCONSCIOUSLY, maybe even consciously I don’t know, recognised that being in Amsterdam was a trigger for him and then apologised for the way it made him behave ??????? I’m actually tearing up thinking about it I’m so fucking proud that is UNBELIEVABLE

Also. “I don’t really remember.”

I don’t think I need to explain to you how fucking heart wrenching that is but. Fuck.

This is a super jumbled and badly put mess of an ask because I am very sleep deprived but. This episode just meant so much to me because I relate to Jamie SO MUCH in this. I have genuinely had a night very similar and I am almost certainly projecting but. Yeah. To people with abuse trauma, at least for me, this was genuinely the most nuanced depiction of it that I’ve ever, EVER seen, and I don’t even know if they did it on purpose.

IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ITS NOT VERY GOOD READING IT OVER. I am definitely projecting. And also want to be clear that it isn’t JUST trauma stuff like this is also a very wholesome development in Roy and Jamie’s relationship with some very touching and hilarious moments that I’m terrified to undermine and I’m scared it’s an awful take but. Just needed to share it with you

ALLL MY LOVE AS ALWAYS <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

never apologize for long messages!!!! i love long messages i love hearing from and chatting with my pals including my pen pals.... and like yeah. yeah i have been so much thinking about all of this. like he was happy! he was really happy at a lot of points in that episode but it had a bit of a weird exaggerated energy that didn't click until that point later when he told that. frankly brutal story that like ah, okay, that all makes sense now. he was upbeat and happy and it was clear he was having a good time and like you said, it was a lovely and touching and hilarious sequence in their subplot but 'manic' is the word that kept coming to mind. like, when you've got a mix of horrifying feelings and happy feelings about something and you decide no, i'm HAPPY i'm focusing on the good part i am FINE it's FINE it's all FINE, see how happy i am? see how normal and not ruined i am??

and yeah same i feel the same way about like- regardless of whether it was done intentionally that combination of that almost manic energy and 'i don't remember' and the way he brings it up as like- you get the feeling, really, that he knows on some level that what happened to him there was deeply, profoundly not okay, but doesn't quite know how to talk about it? gave me the same feeling that some of his comments earlier to higgins and ted did like. 'i want someone to tell me this wasn't okay, but i don't know how to say it.' and yeah like. the i don't remember comment... man that hit hard. his behaviour in that whole scene hit hard.

and that line about like. even though he wasn't there he was there with us..... winded me. that line winded me. if you grow up with an angry man in your house there will always be an angry man in your house, if you are born in a burning house you think the whole world is on fire, etc etc. it's a really complex and extremely familiar portrait of abuse trauma and i really, really appreciated seeing it. even if it's reading too much into it, even if it's projecting, i really appreciated it.

and man the whole thing especially with him bringing it up and then apologizing to roy like- i'm really proud of him for that too. he's trying really, extremely hard this season and doing such a good job of Being An Adult, being responsible, being accountable, being Good. even in situations where it has to feel unbelievably scary and threatening - going to the coaches about zava and presenting his concerns to the whole room full of authority figures he admires and respects, telling roy that story and then taking the initiative to apologize, even before this season, 'if you know how to make me better, i want to hear it' - it's just like. he's giving everything he has to do better, be better. he's- gutting himself, in pursuit of Being Good, in a couple of different ways and MAN it's like. it's hard to watch but it's incredible to watch at the same time. man. there's a reason this character absolutely kills me.

#gav gab #gav answers #letters from o #it's not signed but i'm like 95% sure this is you slfkjsd tell me if it's not!! #abuse cw #rape cw #implied by the context of what we're talking abt anyway #man. just. maaaan. #long post #ted lasso spoilers #i don't care if anyone wants to get weird at me for 'reading too much into it' or 'taking it too seriously' or 'it's not that deep' or w/e #i don't care anymore. who gives a shit. i get to have my little agenda and that's fine #abuse victims/survivors get to be invested in representation of our stories

[brightnote]

When you started the Secret Invasion finale on team Maria / team Bananas

I hope you at least laughed at how bad the finale was, because man I am still cracking up about it. 

I was really all in it folks. I rewatched Episode 1, and I could see it all come together PERFECTLY. After episode 1 when Maria was killed, then that interview with Cobie at the premiere of the show where she said she "had a lot of scenes at the same time as Don" and I went back and found it and was then so absolutely convinced that this meant Maria wasn't really dead and she was going to be the one to kill skrull Rhodey  (which I know people would have hated but I would have loved it) When I went back and rewatched episode 1 and I saw there was truly a solid set up for a Maria reveal that since with all the ambiguities it seemed like Maria intercepted Ross's call instead of Ross calling her and maybe she was tracking him, and no one seemed to care that Maria just took off to do something else mid secret Russia mission (?) and they never reported or did anything about the Ross imposter and just left his dead alien body on the ground... and in the bar scene Fury showed up to the bar after Gravik so maybe he / they were tracking Gravik instead of Gravik tracking them and then they had that conversation about super famous spy Nick Fury being so weak, to stay out of this fight even though Maria called you and picked you up... just to tell him not to do anything? (lmao) and also this apparently happened only 1 year after the events from Far From Home and nobody ever explained where Maria was during Far From Home so here’s a great opening to explain that she is still working for Fury and was tracking skrull imposters... it would have been a great explanation so i was like wow, they really set this up kind of great!  If this is how it ends, then actually this is a good show!! at least better than it seems because it looped perfectly!! I mean Talos could have just called Fury directly, but Maria and Fury wanted Skrull Rhodey to see Maria contact Fury they were setting them up! IT’S WINTER SOLIDER PART 2 GOD DAMN IT! And then when Fury told Sonya about the full body Widow's Veil ... I mean c'mon! It had to happen now!

I went in, 100% in on this and it is there, the set up would have worked. AOS DID IT (I mean AOS did it better but this could be done a 212 million dollar budget and this great cast!? YOU CAN DO IT!) I was so excited for this idea so I guess the finale had no chance for me!

Then the finale happened...and as it went on.... I have never felt so dumb. Why did I have this faith? WHAT A TOTAL W A S T E.  A waste of everyone! 

It didn't really seem that delusional when I was watching it a second time but damn after that finale yikes. Maria really being alive and killing Skrull Rhodey wouldn't be that like a risk  but killing her off for no reason is not a risk at all and at least a secret spy reveal  would still have been way more fun than whatever the hell that was.  I’m not going to lie the super skrull vs super skrull fight everyone knew was coming was just so boring, and I thought this show wasn’t going to be about that and that’s what made it seem like it could be cool. 

I guess I better Fan Fic this idea and bring back Maria and save Nick’s story arc cause fucking yikes!? 

#secret invasion #marvel #mcu #secret invasion spoilers #marvel fan fic #maria hill #nick fury #talos #rhodey #g'iah #cobie smulders #samuel l jackson #marvel fanfiction #don cheadle #marvel cinematic universe

[multismileee]

after ep. 8 OF updated feelings

UPDATE AFTER EP 8:

Mew -> He needs to get himself together, the path he's going down is not good for him at all. I also think he is realizing that he doesn't love Ray, but more so the "thrill/adventure" and "difference" Ray brings. In the end he is sticking with Ray because he knows that Ray "loves" (yes I'm putting that in quotations) him and he won't get hurt like he did with Top. ALSO IDK WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS BUT HE IS A GROWN MAN... NO ONE IS FORCING HIM TO DO ANYTHING, HE IS CHOOSING TO DO THIS.

Top -> At first, I was like wow look at him actually being kind of decent this episode but I saw this theory, and now I just don't know. I think it just shows how I can never guess the intention of this man. The theory was that he was the one who called the cops; which would explain why the cops immediately asked about drugs, went straight upstairs and caught Ray instead of finding Mew who was also drugged out in the kitchen, how they knew Ray would have something on him, and why Top had a wad of cash ready IN AN ENVELOPE to give to a cop that just happened to be a dirty cop.... it's all way too convenient. If that is the case, and he did it to seem more trustworthy and the "hero" FRICK HIM. I also saw people be like "aw look at how he cared for Mew" AS HE SHOULD, HE SHOULD BE GROVELLING. Idk maybe it was just me but cuddling someone while they're unconscious felt kinda weird to me.

Boston -> Man was really just minding his business this episode and wow look at that, he's so much more bearable when he stops causing unnecessary drama. I think Boston was starting to feel something for Nick, like hello sir you're telling me you just stare at all your ex flings in the bar while nursing a drink??? Yeah I didn't think so. He is still messed up for what he did to Mew, and it makes sense that everyone is mad at him BUT him comforting Atom was sweet of him (Ik sue me, I found it cute... I like them as a platonic duo and i'm probably going to gauge my eyes out next ep.) and he ate Cheum up in the one scene outside, and I think that's what pushed him to say yes to Atom at the end of the episode. He must be thinking that since everyone already thinks i'm a bad guy, I might as well be the worse I can. I hope that next ep. he accidentally calls Nick's name and/or finds out about Nick and Dan. Also, I can understand why he didn't want to see Nick, he must have felt betrayed not once but twice. Not saying that he didn't do bad things, if not worse, but I can see why he said for Nick to leave him alone.

Nick -> I just don't know man. LMAO THAT"S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

Ray -> Oh Ray. Listen I have mixed feelings for this man, I think in general, he wasn't particularly in the wrong for dancing with Mew because like I said before, him and Sand were never officially anything. Sand knows this, he knows this, so while it's not wrong, it just sucks. I liked that Sand talked to him and put up his boundaries but IT HURT... "When I'm with you, i'm so d*mn happy" like please open your eyes and realize the one you care for is Sand!!!! You can also tell how sad he was when he realized that Sand was distancing himself like UGHHHHHH. What I don't agree with is how at the party he stopped Sand from kissing that dude (he was definitely jealous, did you see the way he basically ran? But he has no right to.) and him kissing Sand while he is trying out a relationship with Mew is wrong. Mew doesn't deserve that and neither does Sand. Also I hate the way Cheum acts with Ray (we'll get to that in her part). I felt his pain when he was screaming at the party, and I truly think he needs to learn to love himself first before he can love anyone. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT BECAUSE I BLOCKED IT OUT OF MY MEMORY, BUT HIM TELLING SAND "stop fooling yourself, Sand. You like me. You love me. You can't walk away from me." WAS SO CRUEL AND DISRESPECTFUL. He needs to start apologizing for all the out of pocket things he says to Sand, because he is starting to use him as a punching bag and I will not stand for that. The whole confrontation at the party was so uncalled for, he had absolutely no right. Also how does he not realize that Mew doesn't genuinely love him?? He kissed Ray just for vengeance in front of Top, that's all it was. #getRayglasses:(

Sand -> CONTINUES TO BE THE BEST CHARACTER TO EXIST. Okay first of all, we love a man who knows his standards, and upholds his boundaries. He was having none of it from Ray, and would keep reminding him that Ray has Mew now. I noticed this small detail and idk if anyone else saw it but when Ray asked for the lighter, Ray put the cigarette in his mouth like he did last time they were outside, probably waiting for Sand to light the cigarette in his mouth. However, Sand handed him the lighter instead AND Ray looked so freaking disappointed. (Not only am I taking this as a sign of Sand distancing himself but also how much that distance is going to effect Ray). He stood up for himself at the party, "I'm not your second option" YESSS WE LOVE KNOWING YOUR OWN SELF-WORTH. What gets me is that even after all that and the way Ray has treated him, Sand still runs to protect him when the cops came because he knew that Ray was doing dr*gs. He came to the party because he felt bad for what he did to Nick, he comforted Nick after his confrontation with Boston... everyone say it with me: SAND BEST BOY!!! If no one else gets happiness, at least Sand should. (preferably with Ray after he goes to rehab and apologizes for all he has said).

Cheum -> Listen I know I said to give her more scenes, but this is not what I meant. It was incredible that she got on my nerves so much. I can appreciate that she is trying to be a "good friend" to Mew, and she doesn't like the way his personality did a full 360, and the actions he has gone up to but blaming that on Ray??? Like girly what? Firstly, Mew is a grown adult (As April said, I love her she kept saying everything I was thinking), he makes these decisions. MEW is the one who keeps going to Ray to get this escape, he's the one who wants to try these new things. It makes me question if Cheum genuinely likes Ray, I mean it seems like she always sees the worst in him. THEN he meets with Top, and says, "who do you think made him this way" when Top said that Mew has changed... oh so it wasn't all due to Ray?? Crazy. But what's even crazier to me is that after a 2 minute talk, she instantly folded and decided to help Top. After everything Top did to Mew??? She invites him to a party without even consulting with Mew if he would be okay with his ex being at the party, and then got an attitude with Ray after he tried to kick Top out even though Mew was the one who threw the drink at him. Her saying "Or I can't because I don't own the place" LIKE GIRL WHEN DID ANYONE IMPLY ANYTHING?? It just really gets me how hypocritical she is with her response to Mew vs. Ray. With Mew she's like "Oh he's so innocent, he needs help because he's making so many bad decisions" which I'm glad because this IS out of character for him, but with Ray, she never tries to understand and instead says it in a way that sounds like she's blaming him. I mean she wasn't wrong when she told Ray to take responsibility for his actions, he was being reckless but idk the vast difference is dizzying to me. Then she interrupts Boston and her brother's conversation, and while I understand that she's protective of her brother and has bad feelings towards Boston, Boston was actually just being a good listener at the moment. HE ALSO ATE HER UP WITH THE "Consider what kind of big sister you are and why your brother is not telling you anything" like maybe just maybe instead of being in everyone's business, Cheum should focus on her girlfriend and her own family/ personal life. Idk maybe this has been building for a while because she's suddenly saying "you never cared for us". I guess I'm just confused because from ep 1, it seemed like Ray's friends only cared for him during parties/ his money.

SORRY FOR THE RANT OMG

#spoilers ig #only friends the series #gmmtv series #gmmtv #only friends #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #neo trai #mark pakin #ray x sand #mew x top #boston x nick #cheum x april #cheum only friends #ofts #ofts spoilers #ofts sand #ofts ray #ofts boston #ofts nick #ofts cheum #ofts April #ofts top #ofts mew #rip cheum’s development #Give ray better friends #SAND DESERVES THE UNIVERSE

[dervampireprince]

Hiii again 😅 (I've uh. I've been relistening to a lot of your audios lately sorry for how many asks I've sent lmao)

I just wanted to say that I adore the way you put so much research & care into portraying mental illnesses/coping mechanisms and stuff like that, it makes me feel so warm inside when I hear something that I've experienced explained and cared for so succinctly. Like the Ambrose puppy comfort audio where he just... Accepts that the listener/Arden might be regressing or in a different headspace and he's so calm and sweet and respectful and aaaaaa it's so so so nice

Also with all your Moon Knight audios, those ones hit me in particular. I mean, I bawled my eyes out when I watched the show proper so I probably shouldn't have been so shocked to do the same with your audios, but by gosh did I cry like a baby when I first listened to that "we've got you" audio because wow. It's so realistic it made me feel so insanely warm. It's so easy to mess up representation of DID and with moon knight being one of the few medias that does it really well I'm so sensitive about it and it felt so good to have that validated. Steven dissociating or talking about switching or them switching in audios or being cocon is just so well done and it's obvious that you care about making people like me with DID and OSDD feel seen and it's working and I appreciate it so so so much. I know you've said that other people's audios have helped you feel seen in similar ways, so I guess I just wanna say thank you so so so much for doing that for other people as well 💖

(Also tangentially related, that scene in the marc confession audio where Steven is co-con and he's just chanting "kiss them! Kiss them! Kiss them!" And Marc has to tell him to shut the hell up is SO REAL the amount of times I've done that is incomprehensible atp and I got a good chuckle out of it haha)

- Dahlia 💖💖

thank youuu.

the way ambrose is in that audio and similar things is just basically how i would want to be treated in those situations.

season 2 of moon knight wheeennnnnn. :( but no i'm really glad people are okay with my portrayal of them, i've had requests sometimes that ask for certain things with them and i turn them down because i really want to do a good job at portraying them and their DID as accurately as i can. when i get requests to have marc and steven switching during nsfw audios i always turn them down, switching's not some fun thing, it's tiring and stressful and draining and doesn't feel appropriate to portray it as some sort of threesome when if eg steven and the listener are having sex and marc switches in... he'd have no idea where he was or what was happening and would not have had the ability to consent to the sex before he's suddenly in it, you know? i hope that makes sense. i try my best to do right with the representation as someone who doesn't have DID nor OSDD.

#the vampire answers #dahlia anon

[quietbluejay]

The Buried Dagger 2

Loken??? repeated sparkle emojis

Loken: hey how about we don't torture or mistreat the traumatized rescued prisoners in an attempt to make them coherent

aaa loken you really did have a good character arc an actual positive one!!! a miracle in this series

okay, i will say, i am intrigued by the story of this psyker ultramarine or former ultramarine waitttt 1s i gotta check something in Know No Fear I think he got one scene YES HE WAS THE GUY I WAS THINKING OF he got a headache the day before the attack but because the emperor got rid of the librarius he ignored it because they weren't supposed to use their powers any more

oh boy we're back with mort and….people have begun getting sick wow this is very gross

oh wait he's STILL ALIVE yikes oh noo mortarion tried to mercy kill him but he's still alive and suffering oh back to the past mortarion is feeling Emotions seeing people reunite and of course some of them wanted to kill typhon and mortarion mortarion gets exposed to "laughter" and "music" he has friend (!!!)

(pulling up Godblight (?) quote)

HE ACTUALLY WAS A CHAMPION OF COMMON PEOPLE NO JOKE

And you get a horrible backstory and you get a horrible backstory

he wants to actually fix things

Man, what happened to you In the end, he once again became the death dealer of an evil overlord okay so the villagers are getting ready to harvest the wheat and You may be able to tell from this sentence where this is going

picking up the scythe first as a farming tool rather than a weapon

(But also like it does take practice to figure out how to harvest wheat with a scythe I too have read Island in the Sea of Time I know how this works I kind of hate how every time I have an objection of this nature it can be handwaved away by "primarchs are just built different")

OwO Girl got trapped under the cart with all the wheat and it’s broken So Mort pulls a Jean Valjean Uh oh overlord interrupt

And on that note it’s back to the present Interesting choice of cutoffs

This explains the poison drinking I guess

I kind of want to stab him a bunch for this But then I think the story is gonna do it for me

The spooky sickness has somehow spread all over the fleet despite zero contact

Bruh What about your super dramatic speech at Nikaea Mortarion: covid lockdown time

lmao Mr I Have No Theatricality Unlike Some People Oh boy one of the ships tried to leave the warp and uh got crushed Everyone on board is dead

back on the Terra plot thread and Malcador has a very creepy library

malcador is basically a supervillain mastermind and Rubio is being called out for taking initiative and taking the Silent Sister they rescued to White Mountain even though it was what Malcador says he would have ordered him to do anyways anyways as you might have guessed I'm not a Malcador fan

oh yeah they put together what all the captured sisters were saying and it looks like it's Horus trying to negotiate a truce

….thinking of it as arrogant sure is revealing something about you. but also really does sum up the imperium huh

aw, Loken

;-; okay hey we have timeline! it's been 7 years since the war started

it's hard to think of a path the emperor could have taken that would have created less peace

malcador and the emperor had good intent but absolutely abysmal macro and micro planning skills

"oh yes it's just the fault of the bad advisor the emperor of course can do nothing wrong" bleh

horus somehow, possesses rubio or he was a sleeper agent or sth welp this is why we can't have nice things

Okay so mort is keeping a daemon imprisoned in a secret compartment That only he can access And he is going to visit Oh dear the warp whispers to mort

Daemon: and it slaps. Cancer is great

Back in time again They’re winning, but still...

lol

he actually has a sense of humour!

Hm. Foreshadowing. Mortarion, don’t make your friends drink 150 proof….

Why does he sound like my mother

typhon does mortarion analysis

oh dear typhon thinks about how if they used warp shenanigans they could end the war in. weeks or even days

back over to Loken he's fighting pro-Horus groups on Terra

that's loken, all right also Malcador continues to be dramatique

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer

[fff777]

reaction to dream vs dream with mark and jisung!

ever since their mix and max performance and behind the scenes video, i've been paying more attention to these two. i'm really starting to notice in what ways jisung and mark are really so similar. i was rereading my old reaction post to their mix and max behind the scenes stuff and they were saying how mark was basically jisung a few years in the future and now i realize it's because the two of them think and feel the same way. anyway, i'm just really glad that jisung has a hyung like mark that he can look up to. and while they don't have the typical leader/maknae relationship that i see in other groups, i think they do have a special relationship and mark would love the opportunity to bond more with jisung :3

anyway, on with the video!

jisung showing off his extremely injured feet right off the bat. this really is dream feet era

mark snuck over to spy on jisung and had the gall to be like "don't look!"

jisung: what a weirdo

mark, looking at jisung's 'injured' feet: what happened to you? jisung: i ran here jisung: to find you of course mark would love something like that

jisung was trying to think of ideas for his last questions and mark was like "well let me tell you what i wrote" and jisung was like "??? no spoilers please? nvm i'll just think of a question on my own" these two guys are messes lmao

mark's new idea: czennie vs czennie in this case, a mark biased fan vs a jisung biased fan

showing off his new phone case to the world. pretty sure this is something you do on bubble and not on. your variety show lmao

jisung: why does it feel like we've done dream vs dream before? mark: it's because of mix & max!

side note, jisung is such a long boy that his feet keep getting cut off at the bottom of the screen

jisung's first question was what song his family liked the most in dream( )scape

LOL so jisung said that his family was iffy after listening to the demos, but after listening to the nct dream versions, they loved that particular song. mark guess smoothie, because his parents were like that too. i keep saying this but mark and jisung are kind of the same person sometimes XD

mark's question was what he wears around his neck when he goes to sleep. honestly i was going to guess rosary but jisung's guessing actual sleep-related stuff.

the answer ended up being a towel ^^;; pretty normal lmfao. i was the weird one.

jisung saying smoothie so many times that it started to sound like other words ^^;;

jeno sent a message to the group chat saying the name of the song should be someorie (cow's head)

mark's second question was what did jisung do recently that touched mark's heart. jisung was amazed because he wrote a similar question ^^;; jisung is mark's mini-me

the two most perpetually serious dreamies getting serious

LOL mark was so sure jisung wouldn't get it right and jisung got it right on the first try X'D

as always they don't go into detail at all ^^;; but it seems like they had a really serious conversation and mark was inspired by jisung's care to the team

the way mark was like this isn't a matter of your poor handwriting, i think it's actually your korean

LOSERS

wow, a SECOND question that the two of them both asked. MARK AND JISUNG ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!!

jisung liked his part with chenle in unknown :3

mark loves jisung's dedication and perseverance in wanting to do well in smoothie <3

LOL mark reenacting jisung when jisung was proud of doing well on recording smoothie! in mark's mind, jisung is still a little cutie <3

jisung taking mark for a ride as he listed every single song on dream( )scape XD

oh man...if mark gets into philosophy he and jisung really be the same person lol

mark's been reading a page before going to sleep (y) healthy habit

oh wow. but i feel like mark likes this healthy discourse. i think he likes that jisung has his own thoughts and isn't afraid to voice them.

LOL jisung explaining that both of them used to disagree with haechan and thus the two of them used to agree often.

aww so jisung liked it when he and mark were on the same team so mark would help him as they tried to argue for their ideas

LOL third question that is more or less very similar. WHAT DID I SAY?! what did i say about them?!

yeahhhh like i think mark likes there to be healthy discussion in the group, and it's especially comforting when someone as timid as jisung feels confident voicing his concerns

lol mark gets annoyed that jisung changes his mind a lot

ahhh i love that jisung knows what mark means. like he can probably think of a situation where this happened and now he understands what mark is thinking.

lmaooo arguing about whether they're done questions X'D

aww dream vs dream is now officially over

yo ream ^^;;

BRO!!!!!!

aww....i'm starting to love marksung's dynamic a lot. it really feels like...they're catching up but in the emotional sense? especially the questions about what bothered them about the other during promotions. it's like...them really understanding each other and learning from each other in what ways they can be stronger both for themselves for the team. this is like group therapy lol. anyway, loved this!

#screencaps & commentaries #nct #nct dream #mark lee #park jisung #jisung & mark

[lumineescente]

3, 9, 24, and 29 for the writer end of the year asks <3333

EVYY thank you so much!!!! i'm glad to see you:)

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

oh this is a very interesting question i had to think about it for a while tbh mmh i think i learned that i can write realism / realistic stuff, it is a bit stupid because i've written modern au all my life as a writer but it was always short, not fully developed etc. or i needed another au to back up. And also I'd ignore some reality that I'm faced with every day in those os, like i was not worth it to write about "serious" stuff. And I didn't mind it for a long time because I still enjoyed the stuff I wrote that are "simple" or with more aus, but I think I found myself a new thing to explore. Even if it's a bit hard because the idea of fully modern / no aus means that I have to carefully think about every scenes and where I want to go exactly, which I don't often do when I write fantasy or idk hogwarts au for exemple, because the plot is more important than the relationship. However this year showed me I can do it! I can think and explore deeply feelings and developing relationships. I have no idea if I make sense right now!! or if it's clear but I hope it is!

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

aah.. i'm gonna try not to answer always the same fics hehe tbh I really really was glad of writing vistal sul mare because I absolutely love the song, it has been out for a year already and I found the lyrics extremely romantic and beautiful. I knew there was something to do there. And when I suddenly got the idea it was so clear, it felt so good to write this fic maybe because it involves a song and trains which I love and when I think about the state I was in when writing it was a really happy and peaceful feeling. A lot of people told me this fic was nostalgic / had a nostalgia vibe also so it was a nice compliment. I will also add still lingering around (me) was meaningful because my personal hobby is to read mystery / thriller novels but I never wrote any fics like that!! so when I saw the prompt I knew I had to try. I had a more complicated plot line at first but it ended being a "simple" mystery (with not much investigation) then meant to but it was still a new genre to write and I liked it a lot.

24. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

Oh!! great so I can explain more for still lingering around (me). So yeah I was scared of mystery plots because I felt like I needed a looot of thinking to make something believable (my first plotline of this fic is like four pages long, it involved a murder investigation lmao) but it made me unable to write anything for a few months. Then the deadline was coming closer and I had to force myself to write and idk.. I realized I didn't need to overthink stuff or to make it soo complicated, that I could go for what I thought was the easy way and the plot would be good enough. So I guess it changed the story a lot but more like a whole part of it never showed up in the writing process!

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

AHAHA i love this question it's so good definitely my two irl friends who read as I write most of the time and comment and hype me up, like I have trouble to keep on writing when I don't get feedbacks immediately so thank god they are here also everyone on my twitter acc :( god everyone has been so cute to me this year... I didn't realize my work could be well liked like that i got some pretty serious compliments also my faithful meowgical readers, for still being there and waiting for every update even when it's long and commenting and being nice to me, wow insane

thank you for the questions!! i really enjoyed answering them<3

#ask

[neutrallyobsessed]

EPISODE 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE BACK!!!!!

there in school again and Jesús hates it lol speaking of, everyone hates Joan~ lolol

AHHH THE BLEACHERS CREATURES NOTE!! Oh shit- its funnier than i expected heh, reminds me of Mikitaka honestly~~

Wait, so this guy isn't Malcom X? Then who tf is he? fr i didnt catch a word he said when he said his name..... I guess i'll be calling him Malcom X for the rest of this liveblog and when i finish ill check what his name really is lol, i really dont wanna spoil myself on this!

POINT! attention whore confucius my beloved~~, but let's see what this professor is all about...

Abe and JFK friendship! That sounds lovely and I sure don't care! But wish the best for them shippers! I'm also crossing my fingers! Teehee :3c

INTRO!! IT'S THE SAME AS BEFORE!! eh okay, kinda wanted it to change to reflect the current relationships but the only thing that should change is the parts with Joan, JFK and Abe so.... yeah its ok...

And Candide is the sole member of the board, yeah that makes sense lol, she also took vacation, haha "tanned"

GANDHI!!!!!! SXTREAM BLU!!! BEST DUDES 4EVER!!!! KNORK!!!! G-SPOT!!!!!! RAISINS!!!!!!! wait the retainers are actually Joan's...

THE EAR PIERCING!!!!!!!!!!!

they were right, they really are teasing our cocks with gandhi what the fuck

HE'S HERE!!

YEAH GIRL INTERRUPT THAT MUSICAL, NOBODY LIKES THAT SHIT HELL YEAH!!! and there are better people out there that can explain why Jackie is epic yoo

I just want more points jsksjksjksjsjsks

yeah "well funded" but............. oh cool a rocket! so it is true that theyll send them clone to space? :D

Wow Harriet being non-conformist by being conformist thats punk as hell man!

wait book burning? lmao- NOOOOO NOT THE FUCKING MAGNETS PRESENTATION AAAA BUT THE POINTSSSS NOW WE WILL NEVER KNOW HOW DO THEY WORK!!!!

oh but harriet/not malcom x apperantly? thats looking good so far ey

Hmm i still buy the theory that Exclamation! is in Nebraska

OH umm Mr B had a very smooth animation right there.....and yeah this whole scene is funny lolol glass ceiling

JFK being a jerk ass bully!!! Hell yeah!!!! :DDD

omg this is so funny cause like JUST THIS WEDNEDSDAY! JimmyHere did his ylyl vid of the week and in that vid he went to fact check about what happens if you eat a magnet! The answer being well yeah it wont kill you but ahahahha DONT DO IT MMMMM :))))

OH MOTHERFUCKER- QUE CONCHA DE SU MADRE JJAJAJJAJA me cae chistoso este profe, con que se la andara?

OYO THE TENSION! THAT YOUTUBE SOUND EFFECT!!

I LOVE IT!!!

HE'S BACK!!

I mean yeah, it makes sense that you choose a good color when you paint a wall, specially for vandalism purposes but ey look! a canon couple passed by when Joan and Topher were in close proximity to each other! that MUST mean something right?!

MOPED!! That's SO cool! they're going Downtown babey ;3 with- the massive helmet eheh WOAH THATS TIGHT ALRIGHTTT

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE LIEEEEE JSKSJSKJSKSSKSJKS ES EXCELENTE

NADA QUE VER BOLUDAAAA NDEAAAAHHHH JSKSJKJSKSJKJS

AH BUENO EYE SEX REAL issss is this something the big mouth writers put on? ahahahhahhhhhh i want a word with them-

but does your eye got a boyfriend? WELL YEAH..........

.........

... eye got a boyfriend :v

sooo y'all just spray paint a wall? hmm ok, expecting future mischief to be more lethal next time~~

Oh so she call the feds first? hehehehhe

OHIO MENTIONED! IT HURTS TO BE THIS HIP

OOOHHHH ACCUSATIONS OF AFFAIRS~~

i love intentional animation inconsistencies uwu

OH NO ITS NOT SUNDAY OR HOLIDAYS!!!!!!

funny pose, and she's default posing lol, its kinda like the t-pose of flash/vector/2D animaion ;v

and the idea of having the idiot clone killed by their own idiocy is brilliant! BUt... his moment is over! a self contained story, what will happen next~?

oh so the sachel bleeds huh..... yknow itd be a lot funnier if humans didnt bleed but inanimate objects did, a bit of absurdist humor~~

lol suspect

Yaayyy Joan is part of the group and has friends and one of them is Topher, super important :D!

Rating: an aight start ^^/10!

Topher Bus has appeared on screen for 1:23 minutes (I'm not counting recaps or the intro)

#clone high #liveblogging #clone high season 3 #so im actually not good at counting time so its aprox actually haha

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - the circus and other notes

A quick break from the drama to do something fun! (Spoilers below)

Oh I forgot to talk about the big ol durge act 3 Bhaalspawn reveal there. First of all I wish the scene was a bit….. I dunno… bigger, somehow. I’m reminded a little of the unsatisfying conversation with Shadowheart after she refuses to kill the Nightsong, where she just MENTIONS oh wow so crazy thing just happened, I just got transported to Shar’s presence and it felt like I was dying a hundred deaths and Shar told me I’m worthless and I’m kicked out now (whereas if you do kill the Nightsong, you actually get to see her talking to Shar) Like sure we do get the vision of a fight with Orin, but then it mentions all these memories of leading the Bhaal cult… please! A little dramatic cutscene? A little teensy tiny glimpse of what my tav used to look like? Just a hint? A dark shot from the back? Something super zoomed in? Anything? Or it doesn’t even have to be complicated and animated with a ton of assets actually SHOWING the cult activities, couldn’t we just have like I dunno. The edges of the screen start to bleed red and there’s a wooshing effect or something? Like even something simple? I’m thinking of like the simple animation that happens when you step into the Shar pool and get transported?

Basically anything at all that’s just a TOUCH more dramatic than just standing there deep in thought while the narrator explains that you remember all the bad stuff? Meh.

My poor tav though. Resisting durge has been a hell of a ride. Wow. He’s been trying his hardest this whole time not be ruled by these horrible voices in his head, and to find out what happened to him, and it just gets worse and worse and worse. At least the revelation ends on a slightly hopeful note, with a way forward to attempt to make some kind of amends for everything.

After this, you can choose to tell your companions about it, if you want. The reactions are all really interesting.

Halsin actually was a lot less supportive than I thought he’d be - disappointed me a little, tbh.

Gale is wary, and fair enough, I guess, but it still stung a bit. Gale has always been the most wary companion with all the dark urge stuff, but I mean it’s not like I don’t deserve it.

Lae’zel is quite practical - yes that makes sense, you are very good at killing and also annoying, lmao. When it comes time to choose to defy your god, choose wisely, like I did.

Shadowheart seems like she’s trying to think of something supportive to say, but it comes out a bit wrong - wow it sucks to be you! I think I’ve heard not EVERY single bhaalspawn was horrible though?

Wyll and Karlach are the absolute sweetest, obviously. Karlach is so sad for us that we learned this information and is behind us all the way. Wyll is similarly sad for us, and tells us about a bhaalspawn who actually went on to be an important hero. What a couple of absolute solid friends right there.

And then there’s Astarion. He has a lot of dialogue here. I suppose this is what people are complaining about when they say Astarion has so much more dark urge content written for him than the other companions. I thought at first the reason he has so much to say is that I was romancing him, and I’m still not 100% sure but it sounds like this is just the normal dialogue he has with everyone no matter what. With Astarion, you don’t have the option to decide to bring it up or not, he will notice right away that something is wrong and comment on it. (you can choose to not talk about it though) The other companions only have a few lines for you, but Astarion actually has branching dialogue choices. If you talk about your father’s commands, it leads to some other dialogue and a HILARIOUS comment about “worshiping your father’s emissions” lmaoooo Astarion, always the best reactoins. There’s a few dialogue options that lead him to joke (....not a joke?...) about missing the first bhaalspawn epidemic, and how he’s glad to be around to watch the murder this time.

But if you tell him you’re scared, he gives you this surprisingly sincere and emotional reaction about how he knows what it’s like to be a slave to things you can’t control, and how he wouldn’t go back to that life for anything you could possibly pay him, and neither should you. It was quite touching. Man Astarion. Thanks for that. No thanks to you though, Halsin.

And then I had an Emperor cutscene! I wasn’t expecting this! None of the guides I checked had mentioned this one so it was a surprise. The Emperor is feeling wistful after hearing Belynne Stelmane is dead. (why is she called a duke though? Why not duchess? Faerun still has queens?) Man. Man, I dunno. I thought I had this guy all figured out from everything I had read, but this is all playing out just a liiiiitle bit different than what I expected, and now I don’t know what to think. This fucker, I actually do feel a little sorry for him, I do wonder if I can trust him. I’m falling right into the mindflayer’s goddamned trap. Fuck.

Currently I have just finished up at the circus. Man it’s is hilarious, I adore all the colourful NPCs, this is the most “actual tabletop dnd game” part of the game I’ve run into yet: The DM tells you that you notice that the djinni is cheating at the wheel game. You announce you want to try and distract the djinni by farting really loud. You roll a nat 20. The DM sighs and sends you to dinosaur land. I love it!

Fun fact: bards having the fart option is maybe not really as randomly stupid as it sounds. Medieval jesters often had on-command-flatulence as one of the talents in their performing skill set, lmao.

I’m still undecided on who I should commission a statue of. I’m leaning towards forcing everyone in camp to stare at a sexy statue of my boyfriend every day. I wonder what the original Dribbles was like. He seems so incredibly well-regarded by the crowd, I have to assume his act was actually interesting!

I spent 20 minutes just trying to steal the cheese book from the djinni tent. Doesn’t matter if there’s no one looking, as soon as I take the book, three flaming fist come running up out of nowhere. The unnoticed theft of a single insignificant book is of vital importance, I guess. By that point it wasn’t even any actual desire for the specific book, it was just the principle of it, I wanted to have this book because they didn’t want me to have it. We ended up with my party explaining to the three guards that we didn’t see anything, while Astarion was off hiding in the bushes by Zethino, giggling like an idiot the whole time, I assume. We got the book in the end and the only ones angry are probably the refugees on the road having to stand there and wait because the guards they were trying to talk to left to go take care of a single missing book.

I have found 5 NPCs so far that have the possibility to be Orin. (once you find her twice, she stops transforming and you won’t continue to find her, but because I reload old saves to investigate things so much, I run into Orin in other situations that I didn’t do in my main game… it is SUPER SURPRISING when an NPC suddenly starts having a different conversation than I’m used to) I wonder how many other NPCs she’s programmed for?

I really liked that steel watch robot thing at the gate. I loved how I was told I had nothing to fear if I had done nothing wrong, I loved how it decided to arrest me because it had a database of info obtained by scrying eyes that I had attacked the Absolute. That’s always the argument people use in favour of increased police surveillance - well if you have nothing to hide, it shouldn’t matter, right? Haha but that all depends on who the folks in charge decide who the enemy is, doesn’t it?

Next up - doing the lazy elephant detective’s job for them, because that’s what I do in this game, apparently. (I’m just being silly, this quest legit sounds fun)

#bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #the dark urge #astarion #bg3 spoilers #bg3 playthrough

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book 2 of 2]

Storyline: 5/5 Smut: 10/5

So, Hunting Adeline is definitely darker than Haunting Adeline, but that was a given from every review I read about this book. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to read this book because these rape scenes greatly differ from those "rape" scenes in Haunting Adeline, but I ate this book up!

Yes, it's terrible that Adeline goes through everything she does. But I loved the way Zade handled everything and helped Adeline overcome her fears and trauma. I never thought I'd root for a stalker, but here I am rooting for Zade fuckin' Meadows lol.

Now go forth and read my thoughts as I read the book lmao:

So not a quick reunion. I’m already gonna hate it.

Day one of reading and I didn’t even last 3 pages. Not the book’s fault, it’s the inevitable storms heading my way. I’m nervous as fuck rn lol

Back to reading! Okay, so we’re back to having more letters at the end of the chapters. Who the fuck is Molly?

THE FUCKING SENATAOR’S WIFE IS WHO SET ZADE UP AND HAD ADELINE KIDNAPED?! FUCK THIS HOE!

Jay and Zade trying to call via their Bluetooth had me grinning like an idiot. *sighs* And now back to Adeline and whatever hell she’s going through.

Oh great. So the doctor’s a creep too.

I’m so glad Zade got to Daya and she’s okay. She’s gonna keep him in check on their hunt for Adeline, isn’t she?

And Adeline’s found another journal. Maybe this one will tell her how to escape.

Right off the bat, I don’t like Sydney.

..and there’s the first rape scene.

So what’s the deal with Rio? He’s so hot and cold. Do I like him? Or is he gonna prove to really be an asshole? I’m so confused.

Woo. Zade is PISSED.

And fuck Sydney! I hope Adeline kicks her ass.

She survived the Culling! But Sydney is up to something. I really hate this girl.

That’s right, Adeline. Don’t be a meek little mouse around Sydney. Show that bitch everything Zade has taught you.

Two months later. Fuckkkk.

Oh shit. Zade rescued Jillian and Gloria. They’ve told him about Adeline!

Holy shit! That’s my fucking girl! She killed Sydney and I’ve never been happier. And now Rio is helping her escape? Oh mama. I’m ready for this, although I have a bad feeling she’s gonna get caught.

THEY FOUND EACH OTHER! THEY’RE FUCKING REUNITED 😭

“I see you’re still creepy.” “Forever and always, baby.”

“Meadows, baby. Our last name is Meadows.” 😏

Omg. Sibby is back! 😂 And she was totally feeling that sexual tension between Zade and Adeline, and wanted in too lol

They found Francesca and Rocco! Fuck yes. Let the kidnappings and torture begin.

That fucking knife scene! Holy shit! And Adeline making him beg for a lick 🥵

Wow. Adeline was doing so well and then Xavier fucking sent her twenty steps back.

Oh. Oh damn. Zade took control and then Adeline took control.. and 💥 They really did that with a rose, huh 😂

Oh my fucking god. Zade making Adeline cum in front of Xavier 🤣 Fuck yes. He always wanted Adeline to moan his name, but she never did. She moaned for God. God equals Zade and now Xavier knows. He’s a jealous little bitch now.

Thank god those sick fucks are dead. Sibby playing frisbee with body parts and Zade having to search for them cracked me up.

And the re-opening of her scars and that bathtub scene. Holy shit. Why is all the weird stuff so fucking hot?

She told him she loved him!!!!

Oh damn. Her mom was shot 😬 And her dad’s being a dick.

Zade being a dick and telling Adeline he took out her IUD while fucking 😂

Claire finally got what was coming. Fuck yes.

Wait! Who the fuck is Kraven and how does he know Sibby?! You can’t do a three month time jump after that without explaining!!

And Sibby is gone. Aww.

Holy shit! They’re engaged!

Seriously?! It’s gonna end with a note from Rio?! I need more!!!!

#cat and mouse duet #hunting adeline #adeline #zade #zade meadows #daya #sibel #sibby #rio #book review #trigger warning #tw: rape #booktok review

[viralvava]

To reciprocate, a four-whammy: Hector, Isaac, Barok and Klimt for the character bingo <3 (and Isaactor if you want to lmao)

oh wow another four whammy. luckily for you im physically incapable of shutting up

first of all, hector! he is very neat! in a similar category for me as sypha i think, which is "very awesome but i dont think about them too hard" however i have read all your thoughts on him and they are also cool so i will label him Good Character. no need to explain lack of fandom trust on the cod boys (thats what flanderisation is for also, netflix)

i find funny the idea of him being sort of like trevors unwilling sidekick in dynamic, forcibly added to the friend group after curse of darkness and sadly unable to escape 😔

isaac! i also dont think about him very hard but he is a fun villain and hilariously down bad for dracula so definitely carrying the underrated cv villain scene. also he sweeps netflix isaac, obviously. what a chad tbh i can get behind an unapologetic manwhore of such a calibre

barok... i STILL need to replay tgaa but barok is so fucking cool!! hes tied with godot for my favourite prosecutor (godot being my favourite main series aa character) and i love his silly ass courtroom animations... also I LOVE FLAWED CHARACTERS YES KING BE OBVIOUSLY IMPERFECT AND IN NEED OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT GO GET THAT CHARACTER ARC!!! literally did nothing wrong except for all the racism ig but once again WOOO FLAWED CHARACTERS

KLIMT YAAAAY I LOVE KLIMT HES MY FAVOURITE TGAA CHARACTER (she says about the character who died 10 years before the games and has only implications, words from others and a will for his personality). i love him so much hes such a failgirl i think he deserved to commit even more murder honestly. also the fact that everyone was completely willing to believe he fucking ate a ring just straight up. how obviously insane was he. how bad was he at acting like he wasnt violently unstable... also my soft spot for prequel generation tier characters helps place him high in my books (you know, like mia and diego / girouette mmzx / etc etc, that kind of character)

isaactor i dont have many thoughts on that could go in the bingo so i straight up just did isaac/trevor instead. im sorry

ISAAC/TREVOR not actually something i ship, because i instead prefer to use all of the material to further my trevor angst agenda (im simply built different u know). BUT i can absolutely see why people like it + the obvious implications for it, + maybe if i read it and it was well written i would get on board...

- hot in theory is a question mark because im not actually attracted to men but i can see why someone who is would find it hot, hypothetically?

#castlevania #tgaa #isaac laforeze #hector castlevania #barok van zieks #klimt van zieks

[ghcstvalleychief]

Hello :)

So I rewatched Kinnporsche this week and there's one thing that's stood out to me. Kinn has been put in a corner I feel. I don't know how to explain with the right words but it's like Kinn is present obviously but is he tho ? I think other than ep 6 and that one scene with tay in ep 7 he wasn't allowed to express what he felt. We never really hear him put words on his emotions. C'mon in 4 ep we had more for vegas than we had in 14 for kinn. Why vegas was allowed to cry, scream and being shown with words and action what he really felt about his life, his father, pete but kinn couldn't. We had 3 scenes with vegas's father please. 3 that were the same btw. I'm sure after the first scene of them everyone understood the man was an asshole and it messed up vegas. I'm thinking especially about tawans arc. This man was the reason kinn closed his heart, didn't trust anyone and was who he was at the start of the show yet the arc wasn't about him and they made it all about vegas. We saw by the end of ep 10 kinn wasn't well, he smoaked for the first time c'mon yet they didn't let him have his moment. He deserve to have a scene where he talked about what having this man back in this life felt like. Even if he didn't loved the man anymore tawan was still someone who had an impact in his life. A bad one. The end of the ep would have been perfect and the right time for kinn and porsche to have that talk. And with that talk we could have Porsche talking abt what he felt too with the ex back and why he did what he did with the spying you know ? Same with ep 14 I know everything happened too fast but porshe should have been allowed to explain kinn why he went behind his back and work with vegas. Kinn should have been allowed to show what waking up without porsche but a note only to find him with vegas felt for him. And the fact we couldn't have that but a lot of unnecessary screentime for things that didn't matters is a big fail. Sure show me men crying for 5 min in their plates but don't show me crucial things for the main charactere and their relationship. And the thing that annoyed me the most... why Kinn couldn't be in the actions. Why was he always had to be removed from the actions and be in the house while vegas always was on the field. Pissed me off so much. And this is why I don't want a season 2 I don't trust them because I know they always favor vegas and they love their porsche vegas team up and I'm sure that's the thing they'll keep from the novel. Vegas porsche working together against korn while kinn will be mia from the plot. And they'll make vegas a perfect human being who never did any wrong in this life I bet. Lmao I can't have this for another 14 ep. Just put me in charge of season 2 or keep it. 😅 wow that was long I think.

While Porsche is the love of my life, I don't mind putting on my armor and fighting for Kinn. I don't. At the end of the day, Kinn's POV is missing. That is absolutely, positively strange to say about a character that's technically one of the lead characters in this show. Yes, this is Porsche's journey and this is technically his story. But I kept waiting to see Kinn's POV at some point during this season. I was impatiently waiting to see an episode told completely from his POV. I mean, why not? He's one half of the lead pairing of this show. That's an acceptable and appropriate expectation to have, right? So, why didn't we get it?

Kinn is unwell, anon. He is clearly struggling emotionally and mentally. He is slowly but surely losing his mind. It's fairly evident because we've seen him grin and bear the weight of all of this shit countless times throughout the season. We've seen Kinn feel something and then promptly push it down because he had a duty to carry out. I relate to Kinn so much; obviously, not in terms of all the murder and mafia shit of course. But in terms of who he is as an individual outside of that, I relate to him. So, the problem with ignoring and keeping your feelings inside is that eventually they have to come out. These things will manifest in some form or fashion, and it's never good. That manifestation is never good. Either you blow a gasket and eventually blow up or you keep burying your emotions and feelings until you get physically sick. One way or another, you will pay for suppressing your emotions and feelings.

Besides the obvious, the reason that a lot of people can't sympathize with Kinn is because the audience is never made privy to his emotions, thoughts, and feelings. The audience doesn't know what he feels because we've never been allowed to see it. Aside from fans just wanting to see Vegas's POV, the fact of the matter is that Vegas is allowed to feel what he wants. He's abused by his father but he's also allowed to fully express what that does to him. Kinn is also being abused and manipulated by his father but he's never been allowed to show those messy, ugly emotions as a result of it. But it's one of the reasons as to why some people don't realize that Kinn is just as much of an abused child as Vegas is. We've seen Vegas cry a LOT but we've never seen Kinn cry. Why did we see the villains of the show cry more than Kinn? Why? How does he feel about everything that's happened? How did he feel about what he did to Porsche in episode 4 and even in episode 5? How did he feel seeing his ex-boyfriend for the first time in years? How did he feel when he woke up to Porsche being gone in episode 13? How did he feel thinking that Porsche was fed up with his life and had finally left him?

Think about it - when Porsche showed up to the fight in the finale, Kinn was relieved but shocked. He wasn't expecting to see Porsche at all, which means he probably thought that Porsche had left him for good and that he was never going to see him again. But, again, that conclusion comes from me being a smart bitch and being able to read between the lines. That's not because the narrative did an amazing job illustrating Kinn's fear and resignation at the idea that the love of his life was gone from his life. That's not because the narrative did an amazing job at incorporating Kinn's POV into the episode.

Kinn is not present in this show and that sucks, because I find him to be far more interesting and complex than 98% of the characters on this show. There are certain things that Kinn appears to be present for, but that's not due to the writing. That's due to Mile's acting choices. When Korn was revealing the whole thing with Porsche's mother in the finale, Mile's acting is what reminded you that Kinn was still in the room because the narrative didn't do it. Hell, it was the same thing when Korn told Porsche that his mother was his foster sister in the beginning of the finale too. Mile's acting is why you were able to remember that Kinn was present because Kinn didn't have any lines whatsoever in that scene. We got Porsche being gutted and disgusted at the idea that Kinn was his cousin, but we didn't get anything from Kinn. Why is that? That makes no sense. Fortunately, Mile is a competent actor. If Kinn was played by someone else, Kinn would be even less present because not a lot of actors can do as much with so little because the talent and skill isn't there.

#anonymous #answered asks #kinn #tv: kinnporsche #you're right and you should say it #this got hella long #but I have a lot of thoughts about it #and I have a lot to say about it too #so here we are #kpts critical #long post #hella long post

[inkedmyths]

S1: E17 “Hell House”

Brought to you by I really should have known better than to link my blog in a server, huh

The episode featuring: Ghost hunters, the power of storytelling, prank wars, and Blue Öyster Cult

Lets make this hell house into a hell home

We are in Texas baby! Yeeeeeeehaw

[ Kayla asks if I'm really starting during the Anonpocalypse. The answer is yes. ]

Classic horror beginning. 3 guys and a girl investigate a haunted house. They probably die

"Only goes after girls" classic

[ Crepe realizes something, and tells Kayla. They both start cheering excitedly. Melon joins in. Apparently this episode begins the "best gimmick". I am scared. ]

Behiiiiind yoooou

OH THAT GIRL IS STRAIGHT UP DEAD

Oh look Sam take a nap

DEAN YOU ARE DRIVING LEAVE YOUR NAPPING BROTHER ALONE

Lmao Dean bopping to the music

LMAO yea actually I want more Winchester prank wars

Oh first a racist truck, now a misogynistic ghost? Fun

Getting high behind a Dennys?

[ Crepe: It's not like Denny's is a real place. ]

Oh. Oh no.

4 stupid teens young kids....

Ah. Lovely. A dad that murdered his 6 daughters. Joy.

Thats fair kid. Don't go near the house! Be smarter than past you was!

Oh the old fuse box thing is messing with the EMF? Interesting

Oh cool Satanist lore

"This is exactly why you never get laid" hey Dean some people like a nerdy guy

[ Kayla: Like Dean, for instance. Am I saying he's a nerd, or that he likes nerdy guys? Yes. ]

"I have... somewhere..." Dean that's ominous

LMAO ghost hunters

LMAO THEY'RE THE WEBSITE PEOPLE

Oh no

HELP

EMF, BUT

Is. Is this the bit

Ohhh my god thats so funny

HAHAHA

Sam gottim gooooood

Winchester prank war

Oh more stupid young people

This chick is highly likely to die

Chicken feets

Girl noooo

Oh yep there she goes. Hung like a Christmas Ornament

SUICIDE YEAH RIGHT

Oh no

DUMBASS GHOST HUNTERS

HAHAHAHA THEY GOT THE COPS TO CHASE THE GHOST HUNTERS

Where have you seen that symbol Dean. Thats Ominous

DHSGSG DEAN DARING SAM TO TAKE A SWIG OF THE JAR

Djdhdhdh rats

WOOOAH SPIRIT

IMMUNE TO ROCK SALT?

WHAT IS THAT

Oh look its the ghost hunters

That symbol huh...

Dean: I thought the legend said Mordecai only goes after chicks?

Sam: He does.

Dean: Well that explains why he went after you, but why me?

Sam: Hilarious.

Oh? The record shop?

BLUE OYSTER CULT LMAO

Ohhh so it was faked originally lmaooo

Ok, so it was a joke, so where did the haunting come from?

[ Melon says all it takes is a good speaker to make a joke cult turn into a real movement. Crepe says "Megatron". Queen thinks this is hilarious. Who the fuck is Megatron? ]

Dean. Dean what are you doing

Is thay like itch powder

LMAO IT ISN'T IT

Ohh so its some kind of thought monster

Which is why it keeps changing! Ohh that is pretty cool

LMAO THE ITCHING POWDER GOD

Obsessed with this ongoing prank war they're so stupid

Dumbass ghost hunters

"Sex! ...With girls" why are you specifying

What Would Buffy Do

LMAO THEY ARE BAITING THEM WITH INFO

Ohhhh thats so smart

LMAO the weird laughing thing

GLUED HIS HAND

DAMMIT why do their prank wars have to be so funny

WHDHDHSHSHS THEY BROUGHT THE THING WITH THEM???

They are so ready to shoot this thing

What a great fight scene actually

Yeah just set it on fire, thats the best bet

"Of all the things we've hunted, how many of them exist just because people believed in them?" Wow

THEY'RE MAKING A MOVIE/GAME ABOUT IT. THESE GUYS ARE. WOW.

SAM YOU LITTLE SHIT

DEAN YOU'RE ALSO A LITTLE SHIT

Thats so funny though

It is iconic. Fake producer call and a dead fish in the backseat.

-

Ok. Fine. Sam and Dean are funny I love the stupid prank war and their refusal to stop even during an ongoing investigation. This is exactly the dynamic that I enjoy. Goddammit.

VERY interesting concept this episode, and raises some interesting questions about how the supernatural comes to be in this universe.

ANYWAYS I SEE THE NEXT TITLE. I LOVE MACBETH REFERENCES.

#on the highway to superhell #im almost thru s1 i think. yippee! #OK FINE. THEY'RE AT LIKEABLE CHARACTER STATUS. KAYLA ISTG DONT YOU DARE—