#but he really did devour that nazi loving fuck

[youarenotimmune]

H. Bomergy absorbed James Somerton and scattered the remains

#hbomberguy #he's probably taken all his subs snd patrons #not intentionally #but he really did devour that nazi loving fuck

[winderlylandchime]

Also another fun thing happened, my brother is in between watching Criminal Minds at random episodes and today he was watching 14x09 and like two minutes into the episode, I hear him scream all the way to my room ‘BRIAN!! ITS BRIAN! BRIAN, OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!’ I had no idea that Gale was on Criminal Minds and I can’t believe my brother is the one who discovered it while not even knowing his name. Also i would like you to know that at one point Gale’s character kisses one of the leads (he plays her ex husband) and my brother gasped and went ‘oh…i wonder if it’s weird for him to kiss women?’ (This made me giggle a little ngl) Also he was a BIG fan of Gale with a bit of a beard that he has in the episode and he really liked the glasses on him. And immediately he went ‘part of me thinks this is what Brian in his 40-50s would be like but I think he’d be dressed better and he would for sure hide his glasses hut Justin would catch him with them one day’ and he was very thrown off by Gale’s voice/talking. I feel like the only way to explain it (if you haven’t seen it) is that in the episode Gale talks/is more like how he is in real life? Idk if that makes sense but to me it didn’t come as a surprise but obviously my brother had a strong reaction since all he’s seen is Brian Kinney. And there was this moment (i really hope im not spoiling anything omg) where Gale’s character who is a recovering addict in a flashback attacked his ex wife and he went ‘oh shit. Oh fuck. This is..so not Brian like. Oh god, my Brian would never do that *long pause and then he kinda giggles at himself* i guess that’s why they call it acting.’ He was so happy to see his Brian is in something other than qaf and he kept talking about what other shows he could be in. And it’s gonna suck when he finds out that Gale and Randy kinda stepped back from tv/media. Anyway, I had to let you know about this because he genuinely screamed so fucking loud when he saw Gale, that if my neighbors didn’t know him by now, they’d for sure call the cops. This also reminded me of you talking about your future fic where Brian has a beard and my immediate thought was ‘she already has a fan even though he has no clue about fics’ cause he REALLY liked the look but Gale did have a shorter beard in the ep thankfully

I think I’ve seen that episode of Criminal Minds! He also has a part on Law & Order SVU (he plays a very creepy fertility doctor) and Gray’s Anatomy (he plays an actual nazi).

I LOVE that he’s a fan of Bearded Gale even if he doesn’t yet know what fic is. I’m aiming to start posting my new fic in December so that’s enough time to finish the series, devour all the bts information and footage, and get introduced to the wonderful world of fanfiction.

I totally know what you mean when you say the difference between Brian’s voice and Gale’s… it is called acting!

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[kimboatfloats]

I am not a monarchist. Just throwing that out there when I go off for the next godknowshowmany words about my obsession: The Monarchy.

So just recently the Queen died. I wanted to call her the Queen of England, but that’s not accurate because she’s also the Queen of Canada, Australia, Scotland, Northern Ireland … and the list continues covering countries all over the world (and also entering into territories of colonialism and the like that I can’t fathom at my I’m awake at 4am listening to the sounds of my child sleeping and I need to get words off my mind so I log into Tumblr).

Okay so I’m a fan. I’m part of the British Royalty fandom. I know a shit ton about them that I honestly have no valid reason to know. It’s beyond just watching The Crown and the odd Diana biopic. It’s deep. And I had no idea that I was deep in it until the Queen died.

Things that I discovered to find out that I was indeed a fan and probably more obsessed than I realised:

So apparently not everyone knows the British succession.

People exist that haven’t heard the Charles “I want to be your tampon” audio clips.

Not everyone remembers when they found out that Princess Diana had died.

People hate Meghan (why do I get to go by her first name?) and are not aware that the monarchy is shit and has treated her like ass.

Very few people care about the Romanovs and how they could have been saved by Elizabeth II’s granddad but he chose to be a shit about it.

There’s lots of Nazis in the Royal Family and most people don’t give a shit.

That talking about them as if you know everything makes you sound like a monarchist (even when I’m not! Shit.).

They’re protecting a pedophile. People just think he had a shit wife and she was kinda red-haired and dieted.

That being able to spout off a bunch of gossip and documentary knowledge about the Queen and her husband is kinda weird and not a regular thing people do.

I had guests yesterday. They were over to see Georgie. (My child is named Georgiana after Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, but with a regal British name like George it could probably be misconstrued as monarchist?)

Someone brought up the funeral or maybe I did. I mean I wake up at 3 am on the regular now and tend to be wide awake for several hours in the middle of the night. So I just started watching the BBC broadcast on YouTube of the funeral. It was quieter than the CBC broadcast (which was of the same video footage but required me to log onto their site instead of on YouTube which is easier to watch from an app). I watched it like I watched Kate and Will’s wedding (live and at the actual time in the U.K that it was happening).

Anyway, someone brought up the funeral and I said I had watched it earlier in the morning and it was lovely. That we would never seen such pomp and circumstance ever again. And I kept going on until I read the room and I realised… none of the people there cared in the slightest.

Shit.

I fandomed all over them. I tried to backtrack and be super blasé about it. Oh I’m not a monarchist (I’m not. I’d like Canada to remove the monarch from our Constitutional Monarchy and instead have a Governor General who is selected by the Prime Minister and the current one has very little political power — I just don’t want a Republic where the power lies in one person supposedly elected by the masses, but … okay I’m not a monarchist). Oh I just like the Britishness of it. Oh I don’t really care that much.

But I care, all. I care a lot. Like a stupid amount. And not just of the British Monarchy. I’m stupidly obsessed with titled shits all across Europe. I find feudalism fucking phenomenal. I have dipped a toe into Empires in China and Japan and I’m like.. tastes like good shit to devour.

It’s a problem. There’s nowhere for me to blurt all this stuff out — except for old ladies on Facebook who are a little bit racist — okay a lotta bit racist. I checked out the Royal Redditsphere and it was either super gossip (and kinda meh) or it was historical and has a lot of boring posts by mens about war and codpieces. We get it. Henry the VIII stuffed his massive codpiece. It’s not really as hilarious as your repost. I’ve seen that shit suit of armour a hundred times already. Yawn. So like I also don’t have commemorative or collective items. That’s just not my bag. So the groups relating to that aren’t interesting to me.

And it sounds like I’m shitting on those other fans. I shouldn’t be and if I am then I am sorry, but they’re not the fans I fit in with. Like I’m in some shitposting groups for other fandoms (Star Trek, Our Flag Means Death, D&D) and I really wish there was something similar for world royalty. I don’t want to run it. I don’t want to start it. I want to join it and have it already exist. I’m so entitled.

[springtimebat]

Mantodea Takeout (Short Story)

Shipprex and Solesham were in love. As such, it was routine for them to go out and feed together almost every night. The rest of their time was spent sleeping, wrapped around each other in dark spaces, overfed bedbugs with an unearthly glow. Because the boys weren’t human. They were monsters who had carved themselves human skins. And very attractive ones at that.

“I miss mullets,” Shipprex groaned, and Solesham scoffed as he curled a french fry along his forefinger. They were dragging themselves across the beach, as they often did on uneventful Autumn nights, watching the sun slip beneath the ocean waters with greedy anticipation. Tourism had waned in the past few years but the boys could see a couple boats pulling themselves back onto the shore.

“I miss eating pedophiles,” Solesham replied, rolling his eyes, “Doesn’t mean I want the eighties to come back.”

“Why you gotta spin it like that?” Solesham simply raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend, deciding to focus on the night’s menu, which was drawing itself closer and closer. Shipprex sighed.

“Okay correction! I miss your mullet.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Solesham tucked his mate under his arm, smirking,

The boys, now adjusting to the early night fog, could make out a figure, pulling down the sail. It was a man, all bristles and skin marks, with long wavy hair down his back. He reminded Solesham of a younger Shipprex, right before he shed his very first skin.

“Well would you look at that?” Solesham chuckled. Shipprex gave a devious grin, fangs glistening, his second skin becoming more artificial by the second.

“Careful baby,” Solesham warned, pulling his own costume higher, “Your pincers are showing.”

“Fuck my pincers! Let’s eat!”

Twenty minutes later, Shipprex was complaining about sand getting in his pants. Blood spurted from his jaw, staining his second favourite shirt. The sailor lay on the ground beside his attackers, an arm here and a leg there. Solesham had devoured the man’s face, picking apart the base of his scalp and the dark shadow of his jaw. Shipprex, bitter, had taken control of the torso, tearing up the guy’s guts and placing them around him like morbid party streamers.

“You’re such a child.”

“Hey! Says the guy who's out in the open!”

Solesham looked down to see his second skin raw and abandoned in the sand.

“Oh shit!” He grabbed at his antennae with his pincers. They met greasy, wet scales. Shipprex rolled his eyes.

“It’s fine! Sole, really it’s okay. No one’s around.”

It was true. All the other boats had decided to moore on another bay after seeing how thick and dangerous the mist was. Really, they were extremely lucky that anyone had landed at all. Solesham cast the sailor’s skull aside and crawled over to his boyfriend, who was in the process of discarding his disguise too.

“We need a fresh pair anyway,” Shipprex complained, “They were starting to get mouldy.”

“You sure it’s the skins?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re such old men.”

“Old geezers,” Shipprex agreed half heartedly.

“Two old men lost to time.”

“You say that as if you want something more.”

“No, I want nothing else. Just worried about you.”

At this, Shipprex grabbed Solesham’s arm.

“I love you more than anything else. I’ve never wished for more. Not even for a moment. From the second I met you, that was it!”

Solesham sighed for a final time, letting all his old, dead weight fall from his back, just like the men who he used to eat before he gained control over his hunger. Then, at last, he gave his boyfriend a small, tired smile. Shipprex gave him a giant grin, teeth sharp, blood still falling down his chin and down his throat.

“Let’s go home baby. We’ll go catch some Nazis tomorrow hmm?”

#creative writing #my writing #short story #like really short #sorry I've been dead recently #monsters #insects #insect monsters #murder #immortality #horror #predators #oddcore #cryptidcore #weirdcore #cryptids #eldritch beings #fantasy #american gothic #rough

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Video Games

Alien: What is this game about? Human: It’s about being a soldier in a war that reduces you to nothing more than a cog in a larger machine ever churning onwards regardless of any personal dilemmas the characters have. Alien: And the chainsaw guns? Human: Oh those are just frickin bad ass. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: I feel this game’s title is misleading. Human: Why do you say that? Alien: Because every enemy and character you meet in game is either screaming, shouting, or loudly yelling. Human: How does that make it misleading? Alien: This is clearly not a silent hill. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: I feel terrible for this pac-man. Human: Why do you say that? Alien: He must keep devouring pills to keep the ghosts of his past from getting him and destroying any semblance of a hopeful future. Human: .......... Human: On one hand I think you’re reading way too much into it, and on the other you’re about to make me feel sad for pac-man which has never happened before in my life. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: This commando is amazing! No wonder you’re military is so good when you have augmentations such as this. Human: Yeah. It’s even more impressive when you take into account his robot arm is made out of his wife. Alien: *Drops controller* Alien: WHAT?!?! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: I challenge you to a battle with this game! Human: *Sees game, smiles* Human: A classic for sure, but I’m the best at it. To be fair I’ll let you pick first. Alien: I pick Oddjob. Human: You son of a- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: This game is too complex! Human: Why do you say that? Alien: You must manage your resources, military, population capacity, and research all while fighting other player’s armies! Human: It’s easy once you get the hang of it. Alien :Only the insane would play these strategy games! Human: Well why do you think we keep winning every space war!? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: How do you play this “minesweeper”. Human: It is a secret my people have long since lost. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: Would you like to play some Mario? Alien: No. Mario is a terrible person and I hate them. Human: That’s a bit harsh. Why do you think that? Alien: He’s a plumber that never does their job! When was the last time you saw him unclog a pipe? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: You sure you don’t want to play? It’s a great game.  Alien: *Watches in horror as they play Halo: CE*  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: So this is a team based survival game? Human: Correct. Alien: And everyone is trying to escape their terrible situation. Human: Indeed. Alien: What if one of them can’t keep up? Human: Then I guess they’re *lowers sunglasses* left for dead.  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: Why do animals like dogs and horses hardly ever die in your games. Human: In video games they only have one weakness. Alien: What is that?  Human: The plot.  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: How are you enjoying the game. Alien: It is nothing more than an alien dating simulator.  Human: So...... Alien: It is wonderful! Human: Thought you might like it. Human: Fair warning though. If you make Tali or Garrus cry I will break your spine.  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: How are you en- Human: (sees alien not touching the controller) Human: What’s wrong? Alien: I do not like this. The bad humans won the war.  Human: (sees game. sits down next to them.) Alien: The things they do to people that look different....that don’t believe what they think.... Human: I know buddy. They did terrible things.  Human: But that’s part of the reason you can’t stop playing.  Alien: (looks at human) Human: The game is about fighting the bad people. If you stop fighting them, then they will win and do even more terrible things.  Human: (puts hand on alien’s should)  Human: And you don’t look like the kinda person that’d just sit back and let that happen.  Alien: (nods, picks up controller) That’s not me.  Human: (Smiles) Damn right. Now go kill some fucking nazi scum.  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: What is the point of having a gun in this game if the enemy can kill you with a simple kitchen utensil!?  Human: You got it all mixed up. The frying pan is the most powerful weapon, not the gun. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: Are all you subway tunnels filled with giant monsters?!?!? Human: Only the ones in Jersey.  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: Did you win the war yet?  Alien: I haven’t even started it. Human: but it’s been three hours. What have you been doing? Alien: I’m trying to get my knight to fall in love with my mage but the stupid archer keeps getting in the way.  Human: I see you’ve discovered the real enemy then.  Human: Love triangles.  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: You sure you’ll be able to play this alone and in the dark? Alien: I’ve been to your offspring entertainment areas. I have nothing to fear from them at night.  Human: Suit yourself. (Leaves) (Next day) Human: So how’d it- Alien: KEEP THE DOORS CLOSED! THEY CAN’T GET IN IF THEY’RE CLOSED! Human: (under breath) probably shouldn’t tell them about the forth game when they pop out of the closet..... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: You don’t seem surprised by the fighting game.  Alien: In truth most of the universe thinks you humans actually hold such death tournaments.  Alien: The only surprise was coming here and finding out you actually don’t.  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien: Friend human! I have discovered the secret to beating your video games! Human: Really? What is it? Alien: They are called “Loot Boxes”. Human: Mother-of-god; they’ve gotten you too! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human: What do you think? Alien: I think you humans have it backwards? Human: How so? Alien: Most of your games have aliens attacking your planet. Human: And? Alien: Do you realize how many planets you human’s have invaded in the last month alone?  Human: (ponders, then realizes something) Human: So did you cut us open as well for research on how to defeat us? Alien: At first we did, but then stopped when we realized you are either indestructible or killed by slipping on soap. It was one or the other and was very frustrating. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Alien: Help! I’m being chased and don’t know what to do! Human: Just sit on that bench. Alien: How will that help!? Human: Trust me. Alien: (Has character sit on bench, watches in amazement as pursuers pass by) Alien: How did that work?  Human: We humans are often blinded from what’s right in front of us.  Alien: You can not be serious. Human: Yesterday I spent a whole hour looking for my keys before I realized they were on a bungee cord on my wrist. You alien’s give us too much credit. 

#HUMANS ARE WEIRD #humans are insane #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #scifi #story #video games #xcom 2 #assassin's creed #Mass Effect #wolfenstein #loot boxes #Mortal Kombat #five nights at freddy's #fire emblem #metro 2033 #player unknown battlegrounds #left 4 dead #mario #halo combat evolved #golden eye #minesweeper #gears of war #bionic commando #pac man #silent hill

[braincoins]

Unusual Halloween Movies

Tired of Jason, Freddy, and Michael? Want something new this year? Boy, do I have some treats lined up for you! I’ve used JustWatch to list the streaming options (though these are US streaming options; I maaaaay be up for some streaming fun on Halloween...). I’ll tell you right now, this list can almost perfectly be broken into three categories: Horror-Comedy, Sci-Fi Horror, or International Horror.

American Mary -  A medical student drowning under tuition debt finds a lucrative practice when she enters the world of body modification. ngl, I remember liking this movie but it’s been a bit since I saw it, so for the CONTENT WARNINGS I’m going to straight up rip the MPAA here: Rated R for strong aberrant violent content including disturbing images, torture, a rape, sexual content, graphic nudity, language and brief drug use

Ava’s Possessions - Ever wonder what life is like once all your demons have been exorcised - literally? Now that Ava is free of the demon that once possessed her, she’s out of a job, down a few friends, and facing charges for the acts of violence her demon did. The only way to get out of trouble is to go to the demon-equivalent of AA. CONTENT WARNINGS: mostly blood and bad language; some mild sexual content 

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - A journalism grad student interviews a young man in training to be the next slasher killer, ala Jason/Freddy/Michael. An absolute treat of a movie for anyone who loves slasher films; it’s about 3/4 mockumentary, 1/4 actual horror film when she realizes that, no, really, he’s going to go kill all those co-eds. CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood, gore, naked boobs (”Ugh. Is that REALLY necessary?” “Now, Taylor, who’s telling this story?”), sex, occasional panty shots (because, again, slasher films). 

Bubba Ho-Tep - OH MAN another one I had to go back and add in ‘cause REALLY NOW. Elvis is in a nursing home (at least, he says he’s the real Elvis) and he and JFK (who is played by Ossie Davis - who you will note is NOT white) have to fight off a resurrected mummy who sucks the souls of the living out of their assholes. Bruce Campbell stars. HOW IS THAT NOT AWESOME ENOUGH FOR YOU?! CONTENT WARNING: Um... look, I think you kinda already know what sort of content to expect given what I just told you about the story.

Bulbbul (Netflix Original) -  (Hindi Language) During the 19th century Bengali Presidency, something - or someone? - is haunting the woods around a lord’s estate, killing men in gruesome ways. The lord has left his estate in charge of his young wife, while his younger brother, who’d been away studying in London, returns to hunt down whatever is causing these mysterious deaths. CONTENT WARNINGS: child bride, blood, and what Netflix calls “sexual violence”, meaning a rape scene so graphic (despite not showing any nudity or genitalia) that it is GUARANTEED to make you uncomfortable. The movie was written and directed by a woman, so there is nothing intended to be “sexy” about this at all. If you can make it through that scene, though, there is a definite payoff for it. (Or should I say “payback”?)

Eli (Netflix Original) - A young, incredibly sick boy with a fragile immune system is brought by his parents to a clinic for an experimental treatment that may be their last hope. But all is not as it seems within the walls of this place... perhaps literally. CONTENT WARNINGS: mostly just language, a few mild jump scares. People get set on fire at one point. No biggie. 

Errementari: the Blacksmith and the Devil (Netflix Original) - (Basque Language) Based on a Basque folk tale. Eight years after the First Carlist War, a government official comes to a small, impoverished Basque town asking after the blacksmith. Everyone tries to warn him away; the blacksmith is an evil, evil man. But he is on the trail of some Carlist gold that might be in the smithy, and the prospect of the gold wins him some helpers. And while everyone is distracted by that, a young orphan girl manages to get onto the blacksmith’s property. And what she finds there, no one could have expected... CONTENT WARNINGS: I took a screenshot of Netflix’s list of warnings just because it amuses me:

[sings “One of these things is not like the others...”]

Europa Report - Look, I really can’t recommend this enough for fans of found-footage features and people who can stand slower-paced, constantly-building terror. An international mission is sent to investigate Europa, one of the moons of Jupiter. (Those of you who are fans of real-world space exploration know that Europa is considered a prime target for extraterrestrial life within our solar system.) Contact was lost with the mission for a long time, until the data streams came flooding into Earth all at once. And what they showed... CONTENT WARNINGS: Like I said: slower pace than most horror/thriller movies. It builds slow and steady. There’s really not much in the way of blood and gore, though; an excellent example of terror without resorting to buckets of red corn syrup.

Event Horizon - Hellraiser in Space? Hellraiser in Space. Except the Lamentation Configuration is a fucking SPACE SHIP. Also, props for genre-savvy cast. CONTENT WARNINGS: EYE SCREAM. Blood, gore, and, no really, THE EYE THING. Did I mention the gore and the blood? Oh, and language. And blink-and-you-miss it nudity & sex.

Grabbers - Strange creatures are attacking a small Irish coastal town and the only way to protect yourself is... to be drunk? CONTENT WARNINGS: I mean, it’s Irish and everyone’s drunk, so bad language (by American standards) is a given. That’s... really about it, unless you have a tentacle phobia.

Green Room -  An up-and-coming punk band show up to play a gig and realize too late that they’re playing at a Neo-Nazi club. And when they happen to see something they... really shouldn’t have, it becomes an all-out fight for survival. Same director as Murder Party, though this movie was made later with a much better budget. CONTENT WARNINGS: Violence, blood, gore, and yes, some dogs die because they were trained to be vicious attack dogs by Neo-Nazis. :( Also, the most important content warning of all? PATRICK STEWART PLAYS A NEO-NAZI. (You think I’m joking, but for someone who grew up with him as Jean-Luc Picard, it is downright unsettling to see, okay?)

Life - Think Alien meets Europa Report (above). The six-member crew of the International Space Station are given a sample from Mars that might contain actual extraterrestrial life.  CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood. No, let me say that again: BLOOD. Sounds of bones breaking. Alien creature entering someone’s mouth and killing them from the inside (probably through a combination of choking them/asphyxiating them on their own blood/devouring their blood? It’s not clear, it’s just UNSETTLING).

Murder Party - This is what happens when snobby art school brats try to kill someone. (Read: it doesn’t go well.) Fuckin’ bop of a Halloween song over the end credits, too. Also, at least two characters are canonically bisexual. Same director as Green Room, though this movie was made first (with a much lower budget). CONTENT WARNINGS: bad language, blood, gore, nudity, mild sexual content (the nudity is supposed to be “artistic”). The dog probably DOES die, given the circumstances, but it doesn’t happen on screen, at least? And the dog gets some pretty decent comeuppance first... Also, 1000000% accurate cat representation. 

The Perfection (Netflix Original) - A former cello virtuoso (virtuosa?) gets in touch with her former teacher and meets his new star pupil. An instant connection is formed between the two women... or is it? (Yes, there are lesbians!) CONTENT WARNINGS: oh chaos, where do I start? Bugs under the skin, hacking off body parts, blood, gore, mild sexual content, sexual abuse, and the movie itself is complete and utter MINDFUCKERY. Did you like “Tales from the Crypt” as a kid? You’ll probably dig this. 

Ravenous - With apologies to all Native Americans, but at least they did get actual Native American actors for those parts (George is played by a Pueblo actor; his sister Martha is played by an actress of Menominee and Stockbridge-Munsee descent). A soldier who won a questionable victory during the Mexican-American war is given a hero’s status and then an exile to a remote fort in the Sierra Nevadas. Not long after he arrives, a would-be settler arrives with a harrowing tale, calling for help for what few survivors there are of his wagon train. The two friendly Native Americans at the fort issue warnings that go unheeded, of course. CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood, gore, cannibalism, PTSD.

Slither - James Gunn’s 2006 Feature Movie Directorial Debut! He wrote it, too. An homage to B-movie gore flicks like you’d see at the drive-in. I am just copying and pasting the IMDB summary ‘cause I love this movie too much to be concise about it: A small town is taken over by an alien plague, turning residents into zombies and all forms of mutant monsters. (Oh, but don’t forget the nasty, slithery blood worm things!) CONTENT WARNINGS: Nasty, slithery blood worm things. GORE, BLOOD, GORE, GORE. A very uncomfortable sex scene. Michael Rooker.

They’re Watching - An American TV crew filming what is essentially “House Hunters: Eastern Europe” stumble into superstitions, folklore, and... TERROR!! MWAHAHAHAHA. No, seriously, I LOVE how it’s basically “What if some HGTV crew wound up waaaaaaaay in over their heads, in a horrible and bloody way?” CONTENT WARNINGS: Blood, gore, and NO WI-FI.

#Halloween Movies #added Event Horizon because Pengy convinced me that not enough people know it

[hopeymchope]

also, playing devils advocate (because my mind tends to do so automatically), I'm wondering if the AoT author was trying to spread a message of 'hate can't be fought with hate'. Just... well even if that was the cased, he f***ed up big time with how he wrote it. That type of transformation isn't immediate; takes time and effort and at some point an earnest desire to change and a recognition of your own faults. And he really screwed it up if that was his intent. cnt in next ask.

Yes, I think that’s exactly what Hajime Isayama is trying to say, at least. He’s sort of retroactively blaming the series’ main character (Eren Jaeger) for being so driven by anger and rage and painting him as this dark, hateful figure in this last act - even making the love for his closest friends and family something that is now a negative driver for him, because it’s making him selfish and he’s putting it above any other horrors his hate may cause, directly or indirectly. Isayama keeps making more and more parallels between Gabi, the easily-forgiven Nazi soldier of Marley, and Eren - in the latest chapter, Gabi even looks in the mirror and adjusts their hair in a way that exactly matches Eren’s hair, showing elements of his reflection looking at her. Her entire facial structure is actually based on a drawing Isayama did years ago of a “gender-bent” Eren.

So it seems clear that Isayama is attempting drawing a parallel between the Eren’s intense hatred for the titans that destroyed his hometown, devoured his mother, and trapped all humanity inside of a walled cage… and on the other side, Gabi’s hatred of the Jews Eldians who ummm have been kept in fenced-in ghettos and executed en masse around her for her entire life, and uhhhhhhh regular humans who are abused and rounded up into camps and slaughtered are NOT actually the same as gigantic man-eating creatures that crush your city and destroy your hometown and eat your family, oh my GOD.

So yeah, there’s something going on here about “hate is always wrong” - I mean, it’s not like Gabi’s hate for the Eldians is portrayed as a GOOD thing, at least. Thank god for that. But it IS portrayed as something easily forgiven and “understandable” in light of her being raised in a society where that kind of hate was valued. Except… every other character in her squadron is already made aware of the cruelty and horror they are visiting upon innocent people long before Gabi ever wakes up to it. I guess maybe Isayama wanted her anger and hate to get a ton of focus time where we’re supposed to understand that her hatred and rage at them is no different than Eren’s hate and rage, except… it’s really, really not the same thing at all, as I’ve just established. Not remotely.

Plus there are many other reasons they are NOT logically parallels.

SUCH AS:

When Eren first learns that the Titans are actually created out of regular people (which I think most of us probably assumed just by looking at them, but… ), he struggles with that a bit. It’s a horrifying fact. Everybody in our group of Eldian heroes has a moment of difficulty over it. Even Levi, who sheds blood with barely any emotion, has an internal crisis over that. Eventually, the time comes when our squadron must directly face other human beings in battle, and that’s another major moment where they all can barely believe they’re going to have to take the lives of living, breathing people. Eren goes through a lot of self-doubt here.

Gabi, on the other hand, is introduced to us in a scene where she laughs with glee as she blows up a train full of human beings. And when Gabi starts to see Eldians acting sympathetic and kind and her own squadmates are converting and turning against the beliefs they were raised with, Gabi doubles-down on wanting the Eldians destroyed. 

No matter how much he may draw them the same way, Gabi isn’t Eren. You can’t equate those two. They are fundamentally different. And it drives me nuts how he’s trying to retroactively paint them like “Oh Eren was always this bad and Gabi is the same way.”

Like… what the actual fuck.

As for them being “literal nazis,” god, I need to write a post up about just HOW OBVIOUS the “Marley = Nazi Germany” and “Eldians = Jewish people” parallels are, because there are still many segments of the fandom are choosing to cope with this story arc by denying that these parallels exist. And it makes me want to scream. They’re friggin’ undeniable. So… that’s another post that’s coming. Yup. Sigh.

#eren jaeger #gabi braun #snk #aot #snk negativity #asks

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

I’ve been trying to figure out if Darkstar KNEW that her father enslaved Starlight. Because she knows they’re together. They’re together when Laynia meets the Presence and finds out he’s her dad. And then later, despite him being a supervillain, she and him and Starlight are all hanging out in his base at one point when Presence and Darkstar have teamed up to avenge the death of Vanguard, her brother and the Presence’s son (Starlight is, at one point, shown with tears streaming down her blank, expressionless face, which HAUNTS ME). And then at one point, when the Presence decides he wants a HAREM of Russian super-women as his slaves instead of just one, he sends Starlight out to kidnap Darkstar (yes, his daughter, who he KNOWS is his daughter) and Black Widow and bring them back to him. They seem to realize something is up with her at that point, as Black Widow slaps her to snap her out of it, but then after Starlight explains “well he wants to fuck you both” (Laynia is duly horrified because WTF DAD) they let her GO BACK TO HIM. Like Starlight tells them he’s mentally ill and THAT’S why he made this sick demand, and that her love can heal him, so she flies back and they wave her off with happy tears, touched to the point of crying. Yes, really. Fucking hell, Marvel.

So like...they seemed to understand that he had her under his control when she was trying to kidnap them, but don’t seem to grasp she’s brainwashed IN GENERAL and that going back probably wasn’t really her choice, nor being in “love” with the Presence? I think Laynia must have been entirely ignorant of it, not because “she’s my favorite and I like her so she couldn’t have done a bad thing” but because we know that Laynia wouldn’t stand for it. See, this one time early in Laynia’s history, the first time she broke away from Russia and joined the Champions (an interesting team that included Iceman, Ghost Rider, Hercules, Angel, and Black Widow), the Champions face a bad guy called Swarm. Swarm is a guy who is made of bees. No, seriously, he’s bees. He’s just bees and a skeleton. Originally he was a dude who was messing around with some mutated killer bees, but the bees devoured him, leaving only his skeleton. The bees' unique qualities caused his consciousness to be absorbed into them,. So yeah, he’s bees. But then the Queen Bee was stolen by an Interpol agent and encased her alive in amber. In order to maintain control of his bees/body, Swarm stole her back, but he hasn’t been able to get her out of the amber without hurting her. Now, again, Swarm is a bad guy. He’s a supervillain. And he actually was a scientist who worked for Hitler, so he’s a Nazi too. And he wants the Champions to help him, to get the Queen Bee out of the amber without killing her, so he can maintain control of the swarm of bees that make up his body, and thus continue to exist. Darkstar actually WANTS to help. But it’s NOT Swarm that she wants to help. It’s the Queen Bee. It’s just an insect, but she swears she feels a connection to the bee, that she’s calling out to her, to the Darkforce. She tells Iceman, who can’t believe she wants to help “this creep” (Swarm, obvy) that he doesn’t know what it is to be trapped like the Queen Bee is, to be “apart”, but she does. So. The Queen is, again, an insect. A bug. A giant, mutant bug. Not exactly a high priority for most people. Even less so when one considers that setting her free, means a former Nazi gets to continue to live/exist. But because the Queen is trapped, encased in amber much like how Darkstar grew up encased in the Super-Soldier School, apart from all but a few others, Darkstar empathizes with her. I doubt the bee is really calling out to her in her mind, even if she’s not a normal bee, but Darkstar FEELS like she is, probably because she just relates SO much to her (I notice she tends to anthropomorphize the Darkstar too, so maybe she has a tendency to assign human qualities and personalities to inhuman things, perhaps due to her isolated upbringing) and she frees the bee. Obviously this ends up being terrible because Swarm is terrible, and Hercules ends up killing the Queen anyway, but my point is, Darkstar can’t BEAR seeing ANYTHING trapped. Even some super-villain’s giant mutant bug. I can’t believe that she could know Starlight was trapped mentally and not tried to do something. And thus...god, can you IMAGINE the horror when she DID find out? Which I’m guessing Starlight would have told her once she was free and they were on the same team together. Like fucking IMAGINE finding out that the woman you thought was just your dad’s girlfriend was actually his mentally enthralled SLAVE all this time, that you were RIGHT THERE and didn’t know, didn’t help her, that you LET HER GO BACK TO HIM another time, like just...oh god, it must have been disgusting for her, for both of them. Those poor women. WHY ARE YOU NOT GIVING ME THIS, MARVEL?!

#darkstar #starlight #red guardian #laynia petrovna #tania belinsky

[kendrixtermina]

Thoughts and Feelings about“Change Your Mind”

I really wish I could rewatch this motherfucker somewhere but I have to sleep and go to work 

Well on the one hand the main story lines are pretty much done for, on the other, the fallout alone could fill another season, and I’m actually glad that they’re not relegating that to the epilogue but actually going to show it

I assume season 5 will be Steven working with the Diamonds to improve homeworld, explaining things to Jasper, integrating the former corrupted gems on earth, finding out the deal with pink pearl, further developing Steven’s new fusions etc. 

Other open questions involve gem origins and peridot’s renewable energy project, but I suppose that will come up as Steven tries to make the Empire less... imperialistic. 

I understand why they wanted to air this in one piece, you couldn’t leave the younger viewers hanging with some of these creepytastic scenes and no resolution

There’s various concepts I feel reminded of. 

There’s this idea of “tzimtsum” in kaballalistic thought, about how God created the world - In order to create a being apart from himself, he “hid” some aspects of the being, the ones that would seem - So every part of creation reflects one aspect of god, but none shows the complete pictures of it, and because everything has some aspects of god but not others, it is unique - so all humans are made in gods image, but still be different from each other.  

Maybe Pink Diamond would be something like Lucifer in this analogy, part of the creation but as far from the god as you can get while still existing, and somehow their antithesis (stretching the analogy here, of course Judaism has no counterpart to Lucifer let alone the positive-ish early modernity interpretions of him - but of course, White Diamond isn’t exactly a benevolent God either. )

First of course Star Trek, like the ep where Captain Kirk is split into what at first seems like his good and evil half but is more like his animal instincts and higher reasoning, or in Voyager, when B’Elana Torres is split into her human and Klingon halves. 

I guess Garnet wasn’t completely wrong in his being something in-between fusion and human reproduction, his gem half could be considered A Pink Diamond, but not the same one who created him - He must be fricking powerful to shrug off WD’s beams like that, like how Stevonnie still has “boosted” versions of Steven’s abilities despite Connie being human, Steven’s probably like Pink Diamond, but ‘boosted’.  

Steven’s victory certainly showcases how it comes from both sides of his heritage. It involves making WD laugh/embarassed like what Pink used to do, but unlike her, he has the communication skills from Greg - I don’t think Pink ever talked to Blue in that way, she didn’t seem aware of what the other Diamonds were thinking at all, any more than she really understood Pearl’s lingering knot of complexes. It’s just not a skill she could have picked up before Greg - when? From whom?  

His responsibility is all uniquely him and due to his upbringing with the CG’s and wanting to help him more, tho, both his parents where free spirit hippy bohemians, but it was Steven who decided “Nope, I WANT to fix it, because I can”, not because he owes it to anybody, even when no one could fault him for running. 

Also, Frankenstein (the Novel not the film) - The original Victor was a sympathetic, even admirable character, but somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to have empathy with the monster, though Adam was in many ways alike to him and initially didn’t wish to be his enemy.  Because while the gems relate to White Diamond as their goddess and the other Diamonds see her as their mother, she seems to regard them as extensions of herself. Maybe she would, as their creator. Gods are expected to smile benevolently upon their followers and solve their problems, Mothers, while they are flawed humans,  are supposed to love their kids as they are and realize that they become their own persons, but artists frequently tear up their own work if they’re dissatisfied with it, because it’s supposed to be a reflection of their existence, so they might hate it for not reflecting them well enough - 

i often regret tearing up half my teenage fanfics, but I’m able to view them different now that I’m - Back then, I felt like they reflectzed badly onto me - but if had kids and treated them like my fanfics or crumpled drawings, well, that would scar them for life. 

You could certainly see this as a metaphor for narcissism, particularly in the way WD judged everything by how much it was like her, to the point that she would ‘overwrite`’ ppl’s personalities with her ideas of how it ought to be, while lacking a solid identity of her own apart from being “perfect/the best” by default, but that only goes so far because the gems literally are her creations who take their characteristics from various aspects of her being. 

She’d have a completely different conceptual framework to anyone else, though she’s certainly not “above it” in any way. 

I don’t think she was completely unaffected by Pink’s dissapearence either, if you want to complete the Stages of Grief analogy she would be Denial or Bargaining. Most likely,  she was growing increasingly frustrated with her ability to make her empire “perfect” like she ought to and that’s why she started keeping to herself more and assuming that Pink couldn’t be dead. 

She seemed like the knowing one when she was as much in denial as anyone else - you can tell they had a complicated relationship because of how White saw herself in her, that might be why she indulged and preferred her, but then again she didn’t always like what she saw and felt that Pink represented parts of her that she didn’t want to see. 

It’s not without reason that Steven tells her to “get out of her own head” and try to see the world for what it is rather than her preconceived notions of what it is or means. You could perhaps relate that to 

When she realizes that she’s actually dead - that’s when she has her breakdown. 

You could even draw a parallel to “Romeo And Juliet”, where the older generation only realizes how much its ways were fucked up when it gets their beloved children killed for just trying to live happy lives. 

Cal Gustav Jung would certainly remind us that what irritates us about others are often things that irritate us about ourselves, that we may be liable to “see the world as we are” and never is that more apparent than when we view everything through some skewed belief system, or when we hate - people hate people who blur boundaries because they don’t want to confront the ambiguity within themselves, or act as “superior” and merciless because they’ve rejected their own mortal fragile humanity.

Another observation is that when you set up anything as the “default” you create pressure not to deviate from the norm and prevent its members from experiencing their individuality. (see societal pressure on heterosexual men, or Euro-Americans saying they ‘have no culture to celebrate’ - maybe instead of becoming a devouring plague upon your fellow men, you could actually appreciate European culture? Like, read some books, eat some cheese, learn a language, listen to some classical music, vote for worker protection laws?)

It speaks for PD that she even tried to save other aliens at some point. steven stepped completely out of her shadow the moment he was able to feel sorry for her, like “Geez, she had to live like that? No wonder she turned out the way she did!” he pretty much calls the other Diamonds out at some point, like he gets a secure sense of the differences between them when he realizes how much better off he’s been in his own life. Like, UGH. 

For my part, I don’t believe the “best of the worst” thing was true, and more of an “evil cannot comprehend good” moment from White, if not outright projection. (after all, White seems to view all other Gems as imperfect copies of herself) If anything, Pink seemed upset that she got stuck being the leader even as “Rose Quartz” (see the Beach scene in “Greg the babysitter”) - but of course Steven, not being Pink, wouldn’t know whether or not White is right. 

Other Thoughts:

In the earlier scenes you could see a lot of parallels to less than ideal family situations, and how people might end up acting as proxies of the problematic person, almost sprouting their words, in the name of keeping the peace, and how people in such an environment may have no idea of how it’s not normal

You CAN talk down such a person (I know of multiple people who made a bona fide job out of talking sense into literal nazis and clansmen, person by person - their tactic was generally to find whatever problem their rage came from), but there’s a difference between “flawed” and “awful” and I do think it came through that White is a piece of work quite unlike, say, Connie’s mother, and that Steven’s dealing with her because he wants to for the good of society, because he’s the bigger person and secure in himself,  not because he owes it to her or anything

It seems like they went for “awesome” rather than “beautiful” with Steven’s fusions. The designs are kinda gaudy, but even so, once you getpast the gaudy design, it’s kind of touching how Steven’s and Garnet’s fusion is essentially a motivational speaker who sprouts encouraging advice nonstop. Garnet was always Steven’s Mentor and  as well as the main person (besides greg) to teach him morals, as well as generally encouraging & supportive, but Steven of course encourages and supports her too, and both like doing that for others

I love Peridot’s short shorts and that she and Bismuth repaired the ships/ went a-tinkering together. It took me a bit to notice that it’s supposed to be shorts and not just her old outfit with starts instead tho

Voice of Reason!Connieis a gift that keeps on giving

#steven universe #su spoilers #change your mind

[nomimits7]

The Egyptian god’s prey| Chapter 2

Title: The Egyptian god’s prey

Parings: Jimin x OT6BTS  

Warnings: Swearing. Mention of death. Mention of Nazi’s. Inaccurate Egyptian’s history… I improvised. Mention of kidnap, kind of (he ends up stranded). Severe sunburn. Kind of incest ( The Egyptians gods sometimes married their siblings) More to be added!

Summary: Jimin dreams about an old acquaintance his mother introduced to him. He discovers he isn’t alone in the desert and is offered a helping hand, but not everything goes according to plan.  

Chapter 1

Jimin wouldn't necessarily call himself a dreamer, but he occasionally dreamed about the moon and the stars. He always had a fascination with them. His mother use to tell him stories about a moon god that lived during the time of ancient Egypt called Khonsu. This god was fairly new to the Egyptians when the Romans invaded Egypt and destroyed their temples. Like most of the new gods of that time, Khonsu never had a temple so with the destruction of the temples Khonsu simply went into hiding.

Jimin could never understand the concept of a god going into hiding. Didn't they have like abilities and shit? How can someone that claims themselves to be a god, go into hiding because humans took over one or two countries? No god, in Jimin's opinion, should have to go into hiding. Just take back your spot at the top. It can't be that fucking hard!

Jimin use to dream about Khonsu. Even if his mother never told him what Khonsu looked like, he knew exactly how he would look if Khonsu were to be blessed with Jimin's looks. If Jimin had to describe his appearance, it would be in the lines of a mighty bull during the new moon. Powerful and fearless. Sometimes he even appeared as a young man with a sidelock, or a long braid on the side of his head. Jimin always thought about growing out his hair, but he never actually did it. He would be the embodiment of the crescent moon's light.

Khonsu's name meant 'decider of lifespan' linking him to time and sometimes even fertility. A concept Jimin really liked. Imagine being in control of someone's life span, or even determining if they would have offspring or not. There was one aspect of Khonsu that Jimin kind of related to but hated seeing himself that way, Khonsu was seen as terrifying and violent due to his status of 'new god' and the arrogance that came with it. Jimin was arrogant, but he would never admit to it. Jimin often dreamed of Khonsu as a blood-thirsty deity that would help deceased kings find other gods and devour their hearts. He never hesitated to take what he felt he deserved. Much like Jimin himself. Minus all the blood and eating of hearts, Jimin kind of related to Khonsu on a spiritual level. That might explain why he dreamed of the god so often.

Jimin's mother even once gifted him with a crescent-shaped pendant necklace, which he never took off, due to his obsession with the moon Jimin's mother even once gifted him with a crescent-shaped pendant necklace, which he never took off, due to his obsession with the moon. She once even mentioned that when he smiled, his eyes would form crescent shapes, much like his pendant. He absolutely loved that, even if he could barely see when he smiled.

Like most nights, Jimin once again dreamed of Khonsu. The only difference was that Khonsu was in a desert, just like he was. The god took on a new form tonight. He had a falcon head with a big crescent headdress on. Even if his appearance was different, Jimin knew it was him. He looked so at home in the desert, if Jimin thought about it, it made sense. He was an ancient Egyptian god. He lived among the people of the desert. This was his home. His place of birth, his kingdom. Jimin couldn't help but smile at this revelation. Somehow the fact that Khonsu was so at home in the desert made him feel at peace. At least someone was happy, even if this someone was only a dream. That thought made the sadness return with full force. His chest felt empty, his very soul felt lost. Jimin never cried, but in the span of three days, he has shed more tears than he had during his life span.

A slight noise awoke Jimin from his somewhat peaceful slumber. Tears still silently streaming down his red burned face. The sun did quite a number on him. He was exhausted and his body was still on fire. He surely had some form of heat stroke or severe sunburn, his clear, smooth complexion suffered some extreme damage. This realization alone made Jimin grumpy. Sadness mixed with exhaustion and now grumpiness was not a good combination for Jimin's sanity.

Jimin slowly opened his eyes, slowly lifting his head in the direction of the unknown noise. There, by the little water pool sat another man, his gaze locked on Jimin's as he proceeded to throw pebbles into the pool. Where he got them, the gods alone know.

This man was beautiful. That's saying a lot coming from Jimin. His hazel eyes stared right into Jimin's soul as he studied him. This man looked young. Maybe younger than Jimin, but that could also be because he had such good skin. His face was long, almost resembling a horse or dog. He had bright red hair that surprisingly made him look even more handsome. His body looked fit, he definitely had thighs that could kill, literally. How is his skin so flawless with this heat? But as much as that was one of the burning questions Jimin desperately wanted to ask, the most pressing was how this specimen came to be in this never-ending hell hole. Strangely enough, this man reminded Jimin of his history professor, Mr. J, but that's impossible. Almost as impossible as time traveling from a car leaving a cemetery to the fucking desert.

"You know, staring is considered a compliment where I come from, but that is the last thing I want from someone like you. You have no right to stare at me with those traitorous eyes" red said. His words did not go unnoticed by Jimin. In fact, Jimin took great offense to them. Who does this red-haired, flawless-skinned, god-like man think he is? A god?

"I'm sorry? How dare you talk to me like that! Do you have any idea who I am? I am Park Jimin! The most perfect human you will ever have the pleasure of laying your eyes on! Show some respect, I did not work so hard on my appearance to be shamed like that" Jimin spat back. He takes back every nice thing he thought about this ... this ungrateful thing before him, even if he himself knew he looked anything but good at that moment.

"Clearly you failed in some aspects, but then again, how dare I judge a book by its... well, burned cover?" The nameless man whispered to himself. Jimin's words left the, still nameless, stranger stunned. Was this boy playing with him? Or did he really not know who the hell he was. He hoped for the latter. That would surely make for an interesting encounter with the others. He was merely sent here to see if this 'Jimin' was still alive. You can imagine his surprise in finding the boy asleep next to the water source that was not supposed to be there. Thank you Jungkook.

"Forgive me for asking, but who exactly are you? And do you really not know who I am?" the stranger asked.

"I, my fellow peasant, am Park Jimin. Son of Park Numa-chi and Park Tum-ay originally Maut. I was born in the USA, on the 13th of October, I am not sure where exactly. My parents use to travel a lot until my father went to fight a stupid war and got himself killed. I was young... I think about 14 years ago. My mother died a few days ago..." Jimin took a deep breath, steading his emotions before he continued. This is not being lost on mister mystery.

"I am a very popular student around my art school that always gets what he wants no matter what. You see I am a dance genius, so it surprises me that you do not know me. Anyway, I have no idea who you are. Who are you exactly?" Jimin finished his small story, not really in the mood to talk to someone who seemed as stubborn as him. He hates competition in every sense.

"You sure are something else. I am not a peasant I can assure you of that. My name is Hoseok, Jung Hoseok. I come from a very lavish family myself, but that is not important. I do have another question... How did you end up here in Egypt?" Hoseok asked as his eyes held the younger gaze. This boy was interesting indeed, so far, the timeline matched so he definitely was the one. The only question that he did not have an answer to was why this boy was kept from his real past.

"Funny you should mention that. I have no idea. This might sound mental, but I was at my mother's funeral one minute and the next I woke up in this godforsaken place. I was just on my way home and simply dozed off in the car. Wait, did you say Jung? My history professor was Mr. Jung and you look a lot like him" Jimin said as he rubbed the back of his neck. For some reason, he felt inferior to Hoseok, which he did not like one bit.

"Mmm, that is strange. Hey, I happen to know someone who might be able to help you. Why don't you come to my home? My brothers would love to meet you and maybe we can do something for that sunburn you have, it looks nasty" Hoseok said as he got up and walked to the back of the little cave, completely ignoring the part of Jimin's history professor. Jimin stood up, grabbing his scrabs, and realizing to his horror that he was almost naked, only to find two horses. Hoseok had two horses, almost like he was looking for Jimin. Not that he was going to complain. His feet are still sore from all that walking.

"Sure, I would not mind getting out of the desert. WAIT DID YOU SAY EGYPT?? How the hell did I get to Egypt? Last I checked I was in the states?" Jimin said, slightly panicked. Maybe one of his rival dancers kidnapped him and drugged him. He could think of a few people who love for him to starve in the desert just so they could take his place at the top. Not that anyone could match his grace and potential.

"Hey, relax. We'll figure this out. Come it's quite far, we better get going before dark. I have the stuff to do" Hoseok said as he got on one of the horses. Jimin soon followed his action as he tried to get comfortable on the horse. He had not been on one since he was a child, his father insisted on him learning how to ride as young as possible. One of the many reasons he hated riding horses.

Before long they were racing through the desert towards an unknown destination. Everything looked the same. Jimin had no idea how Hoseok knew where he was going because he for one had no fucking clue where he was. Left was sand, right was sand, behind him was sand, and guess what, in front of them was even more fucking sand.

The long, sandy ride provided enough time for Jimin to think. He didn't hate the idea of being in Egypt, he always loved to learn about them, but what about his life? How did he end up here? Why was he here to begin with? He'll lose everything he worked for if he fails to get back home. He never asked for this, he was happy with what he had. He was the next best dance genius. He was supposed to be loved by many and praised for his skills. Jimin just wanted to go home.

A few hours have passed, based on the position of the sun, and Jimin didn't know how much longer he would be able to stay awake. His body was extremely hot and all he wanted to do was throw up and sleep for the rest of his life. That, and his poor lower region is really not impressed with riding a horse for so long. Jimin was almost positive he won't be able to walk for a whole week after this never-ending ride. His eyelids grew heavy with each rhythmic gallop of the beautiful beast. He leaned forward slightly, just to rest his eyes for a little while. He knows he'll feel a little better if he just rests for a little while.

Hoseok was quick to notice this. He had to keep the boy awake. He'll fall off the horse if he did not stay alert. Hoseok knew out of experience that that would not be the most pleasant of experiences, especially considering how fast they were currently going. Luckily, they were close, he just needed to stay awake for a few more minutes.

"Hey, pretty boy! Don't fall asleep on me now. Jimin! Fuck" Hoseok yelled as he saw Jimin falling. Getting on a horse and riding is pretty simple, but stopping a speeding horse in time to catch an unconscious boy definitely was not as simple. However, Hoseok managed to do just that. The boy was warm, abnormally so. Once Hoseok had Jimin in his arms he could see the extent of his sunburns. Simply put, it's a miracle that Jimin woke up at all in that poor excuse of a cave. All things considered, if Hoseok looked past all the redness and blisters, Jimin looks to be a handsome young boy.

"You are really one-of-a-kind kid. Let's get you out of the heat. Come on Anubis, let's get moving." Hoseok gently pick Jimin up situated him bridal style on his horse. It was still a 20-minute ride to the temple, but what choice did Hoseok have. He kind of hoped the others would change their minds. Jimin was handsome and even if he was arrogant, he looked like a decent kid. It's not his fault he had shitty parents. That and as far as Hoseok can tell, Jimin has no idea who he really is.

Chapter 3 

#nomimits7 #Egyptian AU #bts ot7 #jimin centric #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #Jung HoSeok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #members only

[inquisitorhotpants]

So, TLJ

I was going to wait until I saw it again, but ... ehhh let’s get this done. God this post is gonna be long. I’m gonna miss stuff. 

I have 6 main gripes with this movie and I want to get those out of the way first.

That should have been Anakin, not that shitty-ass space frog. Fuck Yoda. 

The codebreaker Maz sent them for should have been Lando, and “we didn’t have time for Lando” is still nonsense. 

Rian, that is a bladderbuster of a movie, we did not need the milking scene, pal.

Also Joss Whedon gets tiresome, let’s dial back the jokes per second yeah? SW is tonally different from Avengers, let’s not make them all samey same.

Why was there no mourning for Han that was visible instead of only learned through “The Art of TLJ” (Leia’s hairstyle was Alderaanian mourning braids.)

... MOAR PHASMA, are you for real with this 0.3 seconds nonsense.

Now, I was so incredibly underwhelmed by TFA (I have literally never watched it since I saw it in theaters one time per my obligation as a Star Wars fan, I felt like JJ Abrams didn’t even care enough to make an original movie) that I wasn’t jazzed about TLJ.

I was very, very, very wrong in that. Holy fuckballs was I ever fucking wrong.

Luke

The flashback trio, holy SHIT. The sanitized, Obi-Wan’d version. Kylo’s “Bilbo seeing the ring” scary-ass wrong version. And finally, Luke’s “I fucked up so so much” version. Luke has always struggled with the Dark Side, with his anger. You see it at the end of RotJ where he’s just hammering on Vader, until he goes a step too far and goes “oh my god what am I doing.”  And then you find out that he bought his own hype, and the Order’s own hype, and drifted close to the Dark Side again, thanks to past trauma from dealing with Vader and his own established tendency to come close to the dark.

But he regrets it so so much. Mark’s monologue talking about that, where you can hear the pain and regret and guilt in his voice, it’s some of his best acting. Luke, driven by shame over what he almost did, driven by survivor guilt, ends up in a very dark place. Shame and guilt are real fucking beasties, and feeling that you failed your students, your nephew, your best friend, your sister, and the galaxy? Jesus. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. 

And then finally, someone with the same kind of optimism he used to have shows up, a real genuine Rey of Sunshine as it were. And she does exactly what he did with Vader. She tries, even though she has less of a dog in this fight than he does, and it’s just .... i love it, guys. 

That force projection. GodDAMN. Even Threepio can see him! HOLY SHIT. 

The mirroring of his sacrifice, buying our heroes time, of Obi-Wan’s, was so poignant. 

I cried like a baby all through the scene with him and Carrie. It was so good. 

And then his scene with Kylo, with this man who’s just devoured by anger and feelings of inadequacy and this desperate need to prove himself to a shitty-ass authority figure (Snoke). It was excellent. 

Basically A+ all around, gave Luke nuance and a real depth of character that I wasn’t expecting but I loved after I’d really sat and ruminated on it. He’s always been so positive, and things worked out for him (mostly), and this failure (and there’s the theme of the movie, how you handle failure) just walloped him upside the head and it felt so very, very real to me. <3

I also cried when his robes blew off that rock on Ahch-To. (I cried a lot in this movie lmao)

“Where’s Han?” (me: “fuck me i’m crying a lot.”)

Leia

SPACE MOM OMG <3

Look even if i’d hated the rest of this movie, I was going for Space Mom.

She’s so tired of fighting. She’s so tired of losing that which she loves most. She’s so ready to just sit down and rest. But she won’t, because Leia is the most resilient, and so stubborn and determined and fierce and amazing. Even getting shot into goddamn space isn’t going to stop her.

LEIA USING THE FORCE AND BY GOD SHE HAS SO MUCH STRENGTH IN IT because she’s so very much also Anakin’s kid. <3

Leia being so done with Poe’s nonsense. She’s not going to keep seeing these wholesale sacrifices. Winning doesn’t matter if you don’t have anyone left. The Resistance is not cannon fodder. They are not the First Order, and their people matter. 

Every single scene with Leia I loved. All of them. 

The hurt, and the pain, and the resignation in her voice when she says her son is gone, it broke my heart guys. You can tell she isn’t happy about it. You can tell she didn’t arrive at this decision lightly. Letting go of a family member who’s determined to pursue something destructive is hard as fuck. I’ve seen it happen in my own family. Leia has lost so, so much. Her planet, her parents, her adoptive parents, her husband, her son, and now she knows she’s losing Luke too? I just ... my heart.  

Leia and Rey at the end!  <3  Loved it. 

the goddamn tribute before the credits, yep cried there too. 

Rey

God I love Rey. 

Zero time for Kyle Ron’s nonsense.

GET REKD NERD /vrooms off in the Falcon

Her strength of character, her mirroring of Luke’s attempt at redemption, her positioning as light to dark, her “fine fuck you I’m leaving” when redemption is rejected, I love everything about Rey. 

THE REUNION WITH FINN <3

The introduction to Poe

Did I mention I love Rey? I love Rey. Rey is so driven and determined and amazing. <3 She has no time for an old-ass man’s nonsense. She has no time for a gold bathrobe wearing man’s nonsense. She has no time for Kyle Ron’s nonsense. “Look I have shit to get done so lead, follow, or get the fuck out of my way.” When Luke wouldn’t stand up (because he’s still fighting his own personal demons), she goes “fine, I’ll do it myself.” When Kyle Ron wouldn’t actually burn down the past, she goes, “fine, I have things to do.”

Rey is the Actual Best.

Rey uses her anger! Holy shit I love that. 

Kylo Ren

Look I have to give massive props to Adam Driver. The way he plays someone who’s been emotionally abused, fuck, that shit was giving me flashbacks to my own life. (snoke reminds me of my mom lmao my childhood was great.)

Unlike TFA, I actually found him compelling as a character this time. 

That scene in the elevator actually sort of hurt my heart a little. “Okay, FINE. You don’t think I’m anything? You think I don’t deserve this? THEN I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU, I’LL DO IT WITHOUT IT, I’LL BE BETTER THAN YOU EVER EXPECTED” and the unspoken “and then you’ll finally accept me”. I got a little choked up, thanks past trauma. 

God I remember trying for decades to get my mom to love me, to say something nice that she meant, to just pretend she liked me. You agree with horrible shit, you feel beat down all the time, all trying to make this truly awful person think you’re somebody. 

So I understand part of Kylo Ren’s drive, tbh.

But he still chose the Space Nazis TWICE. And threw off the love of his family and his uncle. So fuck that jackass.

Look, my mom left literal scars on my face, and i didn’t burn down my school, murder the students, and go join the Hitler Youth. 

He’s the embodiment of “prior trauma does not excuse current actions”

A+ to Adam Driver for playing a character I can go “oh man that sucks, but I would still space your ass in half a second you shitty-ass human being.”

Finn

I love Finn so so so much and I could watch a whole movie just about Finn and Rose and Rey and Poe just ... generally wrecking rich people’s shit around the galaxy ngl.

I wish the fight with Phasma was longer. That was a bit of a letdown.

But Finn is just perfect. I love him. 

Can we talk about how he looked like an Actual Disney Prince running over to make sure Rose was okay? Because he did and I loved it. 

Also how he was totally prepared to give his life to save the Resistance because he has something to fight for, and I wasn’t SUPER sure he was going to be stopped and my heart was in my throat that whole time because Finn you fucking precious human being you. <3

THE REUNION oh my god 12 seconds of sublime perfection. THEY WERE SO HAPPY. (i cried. but i bet you knew that already lmao)

Rose

Cute, takes no shit, period. Love her. Awkward and adorable and just fantastic. 

She felt very reminiscent of Cassian with her “I’ve been fighting this my whole life” stance, and I loved it. 

Little acts of kindness can have huge rippling effects on the universe. <3

I can’t wait to see more of her.

Watching her and Finn totally fucking up rich people’s days, goddamn that was satisfying as fuck. 

I liked the kiss. It was pretty clear she was crushing on Finn the whole time (well maybe not to Finn lmao), it wasn’t drawn out. It didn’t make anything canon, and while I may be all about Finnrey and get more of a brotp vibe from Finnrose, I certainly wouldn’t be mad if it ends up going that way. I thought it was cute. “Fuck it, i’m gonna do it before i pass out.”

Poe

Poe getting schooled by two older, more experienced women, A+. 

Poe reminded me of Saw Guerrera, actually, speaking of Rogue One parallels. He wants to win, no matter the cost. Let’s remember that Saw ended up leaving the main body of the Rebellion over this. 

I thought Poe’s arc was great, tbh. He learned that you have to be able to ADAPT. 

I’m still personally “eh” on not disclosing anything, but at the same time, even if Holdo had told him at least a general idea of what was going on, I think he still would have sent Rose and Finn, he still would have staged the mutiny. His entire thing is “i know better” when he doesn’t, and he learns that he certainly does not always know better. There was a LOT of character growth there, and I loved it. So much of this movie adds depth to characters. <3

That intro to Rey! I loved it so much. 

POE AND BB8, enough said, god they were cute. THEY HAD A FOREHEAD TOUCH. <3 

General things I really liked

that scene where Holdo jumps into the ship. utter silence, light spilling forth from a source of darkness, GODDAMN that shit gave me chills. Amazing. 

The aesthetics, as always. Star Wars movies are just beautiful. 

Porgs! Jesus they were cute. 

“Jakku pretty much is nowhere.” lmao fucking sassy-ass skywalker men 

Literally everything with Chewie. 

THE SOUNDTRACK. 

Snoke Bond Villain-ing it up and promptly dying lmao. “Let me reveal everything about my plan including the fact that I faked this Force bond thing” /pulls a Darth Maul

THAT LIGHTSABER FIGHT GODDAMN. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend” basically. 

Luke flicking invisible dust off his shoulder. 

there’s a lot more but uh yeah i liked this a lot. I’m going to go see it at least one more time. 

#tlj spoilers #i've never had such an entire 180 on opinion from before seeing to after seeing

[writmedium]

Cat Reads Comics - Week of 15 Feb. 2017

#mighty thor #invincible iron man #doctor strange #spider-man #patsy walker aka hellcat #ultimates2 #star-lord #black panther world of wakanda #us avengers #gamora #lumberjanes #sex criminals

[princessclawdia-blog]

Call of the Wild

Now from the time I was a little kid, I could remember my parents would spank me for whatever nonsense or foolishness I had gotten into. Afterwards I remember feeling some shame, but the older I got it turned to more of an excitement. Like any kid at the time when I knew I was about to get my ass beat I would kick, fight back, run away, but afterwards it was such a turn on. The older I got when I finally had discovered masturbation and how if I rubbed my crotch hard enough how amazingly good it would feel, it was the same kind of excitement I would feel after being spanked. When I got close to adolescence I ended up stringing the two together. After I got my ass busted, once I was alone in my room, my cherry red cheeks throbbing I'd lay down onto my bed face down, put my headphones on and grind on top of my hand or a pillow. Now growing up in a Christian household with Christian parents, and my mother who at times was fanatical about her beliefs, I often felt ashamed like as if there was something wrong with me.

Homosexuality was a sin, masturbation was a sin, dirty or impure thoughts was a sin, rock n roll music was a device of the devil and pretty much anything else I enjoyed was a sin. I felt as if I were defective and a deviant. I would have nightmares about going to hell. My mother would blame our "sins" as the reason why she or my father had an illness, or the house needed repairs, financially they were struggling with bills or an unexpected expense that had come up that they weren't prepared for, because we were bad children. We were sinful children who didn't love God and so therefore God was punishing her and us because of our sins. I as a small child lived in fear of doing anything wrong or making mistakes because I was afraid God would punish me and or my family. No person could ever live up my mother's incredibly unreasonable expectations, regardless if God had a hand in it or not.

I truly believed this irrational nonsense until I was about thirteen and lived in a state of fear and constant anxiety. I loved reading to escape from the drama and I loved history too. Watching documentaries about the Nazis, about how the SS policed everything everyone said and did so as not to deviate from the ideal the Nazi party had set forth. Documentaries on the vietnam war and the fear of the rising threat of communism. I felt I could identify with the accounts people gave. They would give interviews and tell stories, remembering how scared and anxious they would be, living in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, the paranoia and how it would bring about a horrible end. All of that would change once I discovered the heavens that lie beyond, in the internet.

Once I had access to the internet and had built my own first computer from odds and ends of other ones that had since been upgraded in the computer lab at school and then happened upon a local computer store that was happy to have a young eager mind willing to learn and donate their spare parts towards my cause I was on my way to opening a whole new world. Now in the days of dial up internet if you knew how to link into a phone line and swipe the AOL demos from the local Wal Mart in multiples so you'd have a supply of the free trial codes, you would have unlimited access, unless the phone lines were down. I found a plethora of free porn, which was completely foreign to me up until that point. There was so much available, from girls sucking horse cocks, to gangbangs, gaping holes, spanking which of course was my immediate favorite and it was then like I had discovered Valhalla.

I had, had dreams before of being spanked and at this point coming into transitioning from being a little kid and I was now twelve years old which meant moving up into junior high school and soon I'd be a teenager and all teens think they are the shit and know it all. For me though once I stumbled upon four letters BDSM: bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. Now, I had heard the term sadist before, on tv when reporters would be referring to some terrible serial killer and the horrible crimes they had committed, but the rest really didn't mean much to me. I would comb through pages and pages of pictures, videos, women tied up, being fucked with dildos and vibrators, clamps and the popular clothespins hanging from throbbing nipples and I discovered my panties would be so wet after a little while of viewing.

So just like any other young, stupid kid I began experimenting. I would find clothespins, shoelaces, nylon rope in the garage and I would try to bind my still growing breasts just like in the pictures online and clamp clothespins to my tiny pink nipples. It hurt of course at first, but it was a good kind of pain. Not like the kind of pain when I fell rollerblading trying to grind across a handrail at the local church on an angle too steep to start with, but a pleasurable kind of pain. Then I moved to finding whatever I could find to fuck myself with. The big fat coloring markers, tampons still in the plastic applicator, vegetables, my hairbrush handle and my fingers. It all felt so good and it was addictive, like who doesn't want to masturbate every fucking day if they can right?

I suppose this is probably also how I ended up starting to fuck at an early age. I wasn't a complete idiot, I had taken sex education in school so I knew about STDS. My mother being a nurse and had a library of educational books in the house. When I ran out of books to read from the local library and it donned on me the wealth of knowledge in those anatomy books I began to devour them page by page. I had always loved to read since I was really little, I could read, write and spell before I hit kindergarten, but now I had a new motivation to learn. By age thirteen my mother had decided I was old enough to go to the gynecologist since my periods much like hers were getting terribly heavy and almost unbearable. Some days she would let me skip school and ride along with her to her job, and we would go to the mall for lunch sometimes when she could afford it. So by eighth grade and going on fourteen years old I was already on the pill, reading all I could about male and female anatomy and a porn fiend. When I started dating guys who were of course always a grade or two older than me and the opportunity arose after making out to fool around I thought I know exactly how to do this, I had watched so many videos online.

Even now as a grown woman I have always prided myself on giving blowjobs. I have had a lot of practice and when the first few times I had the opportunity as a teen I did what I saw online and to my surprise when I got complimented on how much he enjoyed it, it lit a fire. So when I started dating a guy who wanted to have sex, it was like my mind and body was in auto pilot. I would sneak out at night meet him in the local park, sometimes there against the silky lining on his leather trench coat in the dark under the moonlight, sometimes when his mom would be out of town and his little sister was fast asleep in her room he would let me into his bed, sometimes in his car if we could find somewhere hidden to park for a while. He was one of the first, others it would become sneaking in a quickie in their bedrooms knowing the parents were nearby. The ginger one when I got to high school, the local coffeehouse bathroom because it was quite spacious for a public restroom plus the aroma of chocolate pastries with caffeine just added to the experience.

By the time I got to college and I had friends who were just learning how to get good at fucking, their first few times in high school usually were awkward and not something they cared to remember or they were virgins waiting for it finally to be their turn I had already been through several "boyfriends". I referred to them as that, because there is not really any better term. They were boys, we were friends to some degree and we did stuff together.

Later on as an adult and into my twenties porn was something anymore I'd watch when bored or just dry up on available "boyfriend" options to pass the time. When I moved to another state and a much bigger city, my new girlfriends would talk about their boyfriends wanting to do things they just didn't enjoy. Like having her the woman get on top of him, doggie style or trying anal. Now in high school the first guy, yeah the one I met in the park at night, loved when he finally could sneak me into his bedroom and after he donned a glow in the dark condom he procured from the local gas station vending machine and I mounted on top of him. He had black lights all around his room, those tacky posters from Spencer's to match and White Zombie turned down low, thumping from his shelf stereo and it was a straight up party to the two of us. Probably one of the best reasons was while I was bouncing away on his cock to orgasm after orgasm he could lay back and we could both smoke the fat blunt he had just rolled. Sometimes his friends would come spend the night too, they would lay on either side of us on his bed, singing along to the music, passing the joint and eventually I would take my turn with each of them.

Of course my inner circle of closest friends back then, my fellow " juggalettes" (yeah, yeah I know I.C.P is so lame now, but back in the day they were the shit), the outcasts, drama and theatre nerds, the band geeks, only a few of them knew of my wild habits. They were the same few who I'd bump into at a house party or at the local coffeehouse where all the middle and lower class kids who didn't have Wranglers, Land Rovers, or tricked out pick up trucks to cruise around in at the mall, this where we went to hang out.

The few of my closer girlfriends I admit we were total sluts by definition. We would swap notes in classes, trying to one up one another about our raunchy tales from the weekend before. We would swap condoms and other goodies we purchased from various vending machines at truck stops and gas stations. Chewing on the flavored ones in class like they were fucking bubble gum. I'd swap my banana for strawberry which matched my wildly colored pillarbox red hair, as Manic Panic called it. In our minds, we felt grown up and badass as fuck. It was as if we knew a little secret the rest of our classmates had not yet figured out. Sex felt fucking awesome, it was fun and we fucking loved it. We loved to fuck every chance we got. Some of us like myself loved to fuck every chance I could with guys of course and girls too. I would salivate and get wet thinking about some of my girlfriends in their low slung hip hugger flare jeans, thong poking out in the back, spaghetti strap tops with their nipples showing through the cheap polyester fabric and the cheesy Playboy bunny glitter logo planted front and center, between their firm tits. Now that I think about this as an adult it all sounds so stupid and it is embarassing.

I still remember always feeling just a little bit off though from my friends. I would go back home, look at the darker side of porn and in the internet world I didn't feel so much as an outcast and a freak. I did eventually get a cheap webcam and I had accounts on AIM, YAHOO, and ICQ by now. I eventually late one night, at home and alone got bored and adventurous and discovered chat rooms. This wasn't like usual bullshit kiddie fun I had with my school friends, this was before emoticons were a thing too, you had to know the keystrokes to make each face. I of course found the over 18 chat rooms, quickly created an alternate profile with a fake name, address, age, and went to town. I got a cheap headset too, and I would spend hours talking to men and women from all over the world. I would exchange short videos and pictures with them. Clothespins on my nipples, tied up breasts, my fingers sloshing away at my puffy slippery wet pussy. It was in this world that I didn't feel I was an outcast, a defective, and certainly not a deviant. How could I be? There was a world of people out there just like me and enjoyed the things that I did. In this realm I felt like I belonged, like I had become part of some sort of kinky tribe. I at the time didn't know the definition of the word kink or that there was a name for these interests, just that they seemed to only come natural to me.

Now I don't know if this is the way other people have been introduced to the world of kink, but for me that is my earliest memory. As an adult now it seems to me that what I discovered was by happen stance, but if I hadn't discovered kink through the internet I would have eventually through another avenue in time. I now have piercings, tattoos, I change my hair color often on a whim and while some of these things are still considered even today in 2018 "alternative" or "wild" to me it just seems completely normal. Like my piercings and my tattoos I look at them everyday no different than the freckles on my skin. They are part of who I am, speak about me and I find them aesthetically beautiful. I don't think you can define or explain why it is some things are just attractive to some people and repulsive to others. The same with kink, it's just a turn on for many and for many others just seems bizarre and somehow unhealthy or there must be something wrong with you to enjoy such a thing. For those of us it speaks to, it's on a whole other level beyond just the physical sensations. There is a level of intimacy deeper than sex that's hard to describe, you just have to experience it.

Really and truly what it is at the core, for me at least, is an experience even when there is no sex involved. It does bring about that same kind of high you get after an intense orgasm, or at the end of a thrilling roller coaster ride. I get a high just from trying something new, it is for me a personal challenge, something new I hadn't tried before. It feels sometimes daunting, nerve wracking as fuck at times, even the feeling of danger maybe an element to it, and I have to self talk myself away from my fears of judgement or misunderstanding rooted in my conditioning since I was a child that this is not "normal behavior" and I am somehow a twisted deviant to derive such massive pleasure from participating in such things. Each new high, with each new experience it becomes cemented in my brain as a pleasant memory that brings a smile to my face. After so many years now it has become welded to my being. It is truly a part of me, of who I am, of who I was always meant to be.

I have in the past tried to supress it for one reason or another. Whether it was from a lack of time, the lack of motivation or simply just trying to fit in with a people or place, to belong where I was in life then, but after a time the hunger comes back. Like an insatiable thirst and there's only one way I know how to quench and relieve it. A call back to the wild is what I feel. Without it I don't feel whole, it is a part of my soul. Alongside my studies into the bdsm world I have also changed religious beliefs and philosophy over the years too and have come to find paganism and wicca to speak to my inner core like no other belief system could before.

My present day belief system is a fusion from different pagan practices, yes mostly from wicca, but nature and animals speak to my inner being and provide a peace I never found in christianity. I had read the Bible committed much of it to memory, I had read the Koran, books on buddhism, hinduism, jainism, back again to different versions of the bible and catholicism, but it I just didn't "feel" it. Something just wasn't right and so I continued my search until I found what I was looking for to end my hunger and thirst. Wicca and much of the other pagan beliefs centered around nature, just touched my soul in every right way possible. I felt the same kind of calm and peace when strolling down a trail on a cool fall day, admiring the colors of the fallen leaves, feeling the breeze through my hair, the fall sun warm on my cheeks, and I am one with the nature in the world around me. This is my religion, this is my spirituality, it was always there and all around me I just didn't know it until that moment.

My willingness to throw my whole self into the bdsm world and with every opportunity I can find, the closest analogy I can think of to explain why, is how I became a pagan over the years. It just clicks with me. It just speaks to who I am and to who I have always wanted to be deep down inside of myself. I had always been angry, self destructive even and at war with my inner self. I had grown tired and weary and longed for peace, for soildarity, for quiet, and to calm the storm inside of me.

The experience when I am into my subspace, participating in whatever activity I have chosen to experience, is what I like to think of as a call back to the wild. It is a call to just be, to let go of the many inhibitions that hold us back from experiencing the body and soul the way it is meant to be felt.

Life they say is meant to be lived. If you are "living" but not with feeling, with a passion, with a fire burning, with a sense of feeling free and enjoying the whole experience then to me that isn't really living. For me, I know I had heard the call of the wild many times before and I didn't fully understand it or I chose to repress it and pretend I couldn't hear it. It sounded like a lone wolf crying at the moon in search of its brethren.

I heard the call of the wild again and again and I had decided to follow it and now I know I am home. I feel the peace and solidarity with my soul that I had longed for. I am one with the wild. I am one with the wild fire burning inside and while I am learning how to master it still, I am one of the wild and no longer scared to be true to myself. I am no longer ashamed of what I am, to remain faithful and loyal to who I am. I want to become the call of the wild now to others who are willing to hear its message and want to come home to the pack. Come home my brethren, listen to the call of the wild inside of you. Do not be afraid. This is the call to love yourself, of self discovery. This is how I am learning to love and trust myself. I am one of the wild now and I will never look back.