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lovecherrii · 5 months

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2023, the soul-sucking year of my life

Looking back at this year, I accomplished very little and felt happy for even less. I wait for the days to pass, I count them down hour by hour, and then I wonder where all the time has gone. I spent the spring waiting for summer and spent the summer waiting for winter. I cut my hair and grew it back. I lost and gained weight, though it didn’t make me feel any better. I watched the people I love change and become people I don’t recognize anymore, I lied and told them that I still love them all the same. I broke my own heart, I cried all alone for days, and I made a fool out of myself. I dedicated my academic life to studying something I’m still not sure about, I exhausted myself over it. I faked so many smiles until my cheeks burned with shame. I wish I had never gone to my hometown during the summer, I wish I never drank tea with ghosts on the roof. I wish I wasn’t all alone now, writing this and realizing that I am as good as a stranger to everyone I love.

If I had the strength, I’d leave it all behind. I’ll know exactly how to pack and leave like everybody else. I’ll know when to let go and start chasing dreams, instead of phantoms. But I’m not. I fail at leaving as much as I fail at staying. Nothing about me is concrete, yet I’m wholly there. I imagine, how exhausting that might be to the few who might try to keep up with me, but I can’t keep my feet on the ground. I have this ugly feeling that I’ll not see anything after 25, yet I’m not prepared to die, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be. I want to ask God for forgiveness till my knees bleed because I’ve built a life around lies. I’ve broken promises. I left the person I love the most behind, and maybe to this day, it is my greatest sin. Loving him and not having him or not leaving him. either way, I’m not happy, either way, I love him still. all didn’t end well, and all is not well here without him. I have days where I want to dig a knife in my chest and cut it open because of how suffocating it is to love him when he’s broken every shred of hope in me. And I have days where I want to find him and cry in his arms until my throat bleeds and until his heart breaks. Some days are just calmer, and I feel the loss of him throbbing slowly and lazily in my veins. Most days I’m less violent, and I just want him to have me in his life again, even as an accessory tossed to the side. Regardless, if leaving him was my greatest sin, it’s only because of the pain I caused myself by staying all these years . Months have gone and I’m not happy, not sure now how wise had I really been. Not sure if I’m blaming him more than I blame myself. Not sure if it’s all just in my head, or just a wound too big, even for me, to close.

#dear diary #digital diary #writing #writeblr

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autisticblueteam · 2 months

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Appears from the ether again, after months of only being present enough to fill my queue up, with some WIP snippets from the gen:LOCK re-write I mentioned before...

And also finally adressing these tags lmao, sorry @thesouppond I realise these are like 3 months old.

#FUCK IM JUST SEEING THIS NOW???#FUCK YEAH 2024 SEASON OF EVERYONE GETS TO REWRITE GENLOCK CAUSE FUCK S2#Ahem anyway hi genlock moot :)))#I love your writing btw! Ive read your existing GL fics theyre great!#at this point if someone can give me a GL fic i havent already met I will forever be indebted to you i am DYING for GL content

We're really out here trying our best to do better by GL than HBO did huh!! I've been loving Reloaded, it was so nice to see someone else pop up in the gL tag after it was comparatively dead for so long. I've been working on my re-write since just after s2 came out and it was lonely in there for a while there lmao.

So I'm glad you enjoyed the couple of fics I've already done! I'm re-using parts of one of them for the actual re-write since I'm going for the 'keep the basic bones of s2 but aim to fix the execution into something less shit/re-work the worst bits' and I didn't want to write that first nemesis fight over again from total scratch lmao...

I want to finish writing all of the re-write before I post it in full, but that does mean it's taking forever whoops.

I'm still not past the introduction of Sinclair as his portion is so involved and I keep getting distracted by other projects/hobbies, but I did finally get to a point where my take on Sinclair is actually fun to write! I'm keeping his boyfriend because I did at least like that Sinclair was made canonically queer and they're actually cute when I'm just doing my own thing.

So since I feel like posting some WIP bits, here's my favourite Chris/Sinclair stuff I've done so far.

“YEAH! Take that you fucked up tin can!” Sinclair winced. The shout was like an ice pick being driven into his skull, but it was also what finally drove him to lift his head. There ahead of him, wielding a large piece of debris in one hand, was a heavyset Asian man dressed in torn clothes and covered in grime. He reared back, and for a split second Sinclair thought that projectile was for him, until he heard an impact, and the last of the humming died. The man brushed off his hands, pride written on every feature, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Sinclair had ever seen. “Coast’s clear!” the stranger called behind him. There was movement, but Sinclair didn’t care to look, his attention caught by the man’s approach. “And we’ve got a live one.” Sinclair’s throat was so dry he broke down coughing twice, in the time it took the stranger to kneel in front of him. “I-I’m not Union. I-I know— with the uniform, and the—” Another violent burst of coughing cut him off. The stranger handed him a canteen and a crooked smile. “Yeah, no shit. You’ve got way too much emotion on your face to be even a defector,” he said, and if Sinclair wasn’t so busy chugging the offered water, he might have mustered a laugh. “That, plus, the lack of helmet, the collapsing, and the drone getting ready to turn you into a novelty cheese grater kinda gave it away.” “Christ, I could kiss you right now,” Sinclair blurted and then regretted in quick succession. Fuck. He’d been in near solitary too long, his filter had worn away to nothing and he was making a damn fool of himself in front of the first sane people he’d seen in weeks. Except the stranger just… laughed, good-naturedly. “Close, the name’s Chris, not Christ. And I’d say buy me dinner first, but it’s a bit hard out here.”

AND then a little later...

“What about the refugee railroads?” Chris lowered his beer bottle and wiped his mouth. “Too far.” “Vanguard safe crossings?” “Too far.” “The— fucking Canadian border?” Chris laughed, “Too far. Further than either of the other things. Jesus, dude. You sure you haven’t got a concussion?” “Mostly,” Sinclair said, rubbing his face with his intact hand. “I just— you’re going to die if you stay here. A drone only has to get lucky once.” “And if we go deeper in, we’ll only die faster,” Chris said with a simple shrug. “We already have to pack up and move every few weeks when the line moves. And every time, the Polity border gets a little bit further away. Believe me, man, I want nothing more than to get outta here, but it’s just not happening.” “What if I helped?” The offer fell out before he’d consciously decided to make it, but Sinclair stood by it. Even when Chris looked at him dubiously. “No offence, dude, but you’re just one guy. And two days ago you could barely stand.” “And now I’m fine,” Sinclair insisted. “I’m a soldier. I was decorated for valour after I got my squad out of a run-in with the Union that should’ve killed us all. I was the only one who could even still hold a gun. I swear, I could get you somewhere safe. Are you really telling me you’d rather keep sitting around waiting to die than take a risk?” Chris’s brow furrowed, and he didn’t answer immediately, taking another swig from his scratched up bottle of beer. Sinclair sighed. “Look. I need to get to a Vanguard base one way or another. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I don’t have to. I owe you my life. And maybe dinner.” Chris almost choked on his drink. “Wow,” he laughed, clearing his throat, “you sure pick your moments, huh?” Sinclair shrugged. “Figure if you’re not actually into it I’ll just blame the concussion.” “That you don’t have.” “Exactly.” Chris rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Smooth. Smooth operator. Alright, alright, fine, we’ll talk to the others in the morning. It might be a tougher sell when they’re not the ones getting dinner with a hot soldier out of it, but hey, guess we’ll see.” “Are you looking past the just-got-done-being-tortured chic, here, or is that part of the charm?” “Are you kidding? There’s a whole genre focused on how hot soldier guys look after they’ve been through hell.” “Not sure that’s the intended takeaway of action movies.” “Well,” Chris shrugged, starting to pick at a can of food, “it was definitely my takeaway.” Sinclair laughed. Honest-to-god laughed, in a way he was surprised he was even capable of after the last few weeks. The normality of the moment was like a balm on all the aching parts of him, mental and physical alike. For a moment he could almost forget that the reason he looked like shit was because he’d just escaped the worst experience of his life. For a moment it felt like the fight was over.

Now I just have to actually get through the remainder of my Sinclair set-up and then I'll be only one chapter away from finishing the first half of the fic... so close and yet so far lmao.

#blue is a writer #fic: the only me is me #gen:lock #each part is meant to be like a single season. so part 1 is like a new season 2 and part 2 is like a season 3 #and if i ever actually finish this. i might plan out a 'season 4'#the ending i have planned sets me up for it #i have grand ambitions and so little ability to sit down and just get it done LMAO

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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hey, i hope you’re ok. i’ve been watching this whole thing unfold from the sidelines since it first started, and it’s been wild because it’s been like watching what i went through when i first watched GO, from the outside. i’m so sorry we as a fandom introduced you to this godawful heartbreak, but also, if you’re anything like me, you wouldn’t want it any other way because it’s just. so perfect. good omens genuinely rewired my brain chemistry and is easily the best piece of media i have ever seen. even though it has destroyed me, i am so grateful i decided to watch it. i share all your feelings about crowley. i have So Many Feelings About Crowley. after s2 i reacted just as violently as you did lol. i will say, it does get easier with time. for the first two weeks i genuinely could not think about anything other than the Pain (lol), but now i’m fully functional again! i still think about Them every hour of every day, but now i think about other things in between too. so it gets better! commiserating with fellow Good Omens Brainrot sufferers helped make me feel a lot less alone, especially in the beginning. and now that it hurts less, i’ve actually found quite a comforting family of sorts in this fandom. make sure you make room for other things too though!!! take a few days just to be emotionally devastated, but after that try and go outside or spend some time with friends or family. eventually it will fade to a comfortable level of obsession and you’ll feel okay again. it’s a lot less scary now that we know season 3 is coming. and even though it hurts. there’s something sort of beautiful and exquisite about being moved this strongly by a piece of artwork, i think. sorry for this long ramble, i just wanted to express my support and let you know that you’re not alone i guess.

Hello anon maggot! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, please don't apologise, it's so touching to read. This fandom really is beautiful, isn't it, and it's so crazy to see how much art and creativity inspired it as well as was inspired by it. It's such a kind community and it's wild how strangers have bonded over Good Omens and become so tight-knit. And yes, Crowley. Just Crowley. I am in love with them. I'm glad you've also found a family in this batshit insane and loving fandom.

Yeah, I'm trying to remember to take a break *looks away guiltily* whenever I'm not on tumblr I just seem to pull a Crowley and sleep through the day. It's been such a rollercoaster of emotions.

Why did I say that. Everyday, it's a-getting closer, going faster than a rollercoa-

Oops.

#good omens mascot #good omens #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #crowley #good omens fandom #maggots #lgbtqia #ineffable brainrot #good omens brainrot #ineffable husbands #final fifteen

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snellyfish · 1 year

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(duck) THOUGHTS!! THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 10-11!! NOW!! I AM SHAKING YOU VIOLENTLY PLEASE TELL ME

OHOGHGOH MY GOSH OK OK OK you know how funny it was for like 2 days straight after we FINALLY caught up i just kept saying "i have to go write out my thoughts on drdt and feed my anons (mostly with you in mind)" every few hours with nothing but "i thought you already did that??" in response, cue me being like "no but like for real this time"

I also give my best wishes to the creator of DRDT, you've given us such a fun story with fun characters and I hope you the best on recovering, resting, and focusing on yourself. If we never get another episode that is a-ok, I'll be very sad but only because I truly appreciate the art and writing for a wonderful story that you've given to us all for FREE. Thank you for that<3 For clarity and reference, this whole ramble is written with the intention/presumption that we will get more chapters, though I'm not getting my hopes up

!!!!! DRDT EPISODE 10 AND 11 SPOILERS BELOW !!!!!

Also just an insane wall of text in general, jfc, you have been warned

Ok so first of all, I'll say what everyone's really here for:

Sorry, I personally fucking LOVED the twist, no significant complaints with it; it's a character trope I ADORE and more than I ever could've asked for to come from such a blorbo as David

Sorry, yes, I am also unfortunately down bad for him, HOWEVER-

Extremely happy that David wasn't the killer because we get to see more of this little freak in action in the next chapter, I can't even tell you how excited I am for his character omgomgomgomg I love horrible fucked up manipulative freaks so much. I also don't blame anyone for not enjoying his character anymore (especially if you liked the trope of his preconceived notion of a character) but like, me personally I can appreciate any character no matter the morals (the less the better imo) as long as they're written in an interesting and compelling way.

The way David is so horrendously straight-forward about everyone else just being a funny little pawn to him with absolutely no remorse (genuinely hope he never gains any empathy or I'll be a little upset ngl (well…depends on how it's done I GUESS!!)) makes his seemingly multi-layered character into….. something one-dimensional (/pos /GEN!!! one-dimensional is NOT a bad thing if it's a cool dimension that causes fun character conflicts) but the WAY they introduce this static ruthlessness to him is just;;;; CHEFS KISS. He's still a layered character, sure, two-faced freak running the long con, but his true self is just so reprehensibly remorseless it's hard to see ANYTHING under it

We were also both dying of laughter in the first episode how David had a really long horribly winded speech about fucking,,,,,,God knows what,,,, And no one acknowledged it and me n my bestie were just fucking whale eyeing each other like "SO IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT? WE'RE JUST GONNA STEAMROLL RIGHT OVER HIS MINI PSYCHOTIC BREAK? OK" Not to be salty but GUYS.. Anyone who genuinely believed David was a good person and were shocked with the twist I…I'm sorry …… I'm sorry that we did not watch the same character introduction …. I've been on team two-faced David from the start that's my manipulate mansplain manwhore right there, babe! If you don't love him at his X you don't deserve him at his Y

Erm erm erm also thought it was hilarious when David was droning on after his big real reveal because, even though I was having a great time with it, I was also just repeatedly muttering "the fish…..?" looking around like the john travolta gif "the fish? the fish? guys, the fish? can we talk about the fish? im dying to talk about the fish" AHGHGAGAHA AND JUST GETTING SO FRUSTRATED WHEN EVERYONE FINALLY BROUGHT UP THE FISH AND WERE LIKE "OH EM GEE THE LIAR IS LYING ABOUT KILLING AREI??? DAS SO CRWAZY" Old school Danganronpa feeling of screaming at the characters denseness, so nostalgic, I DID ENJOY IT, IT WAS FUNNY, I HAD A GOOD TIME HAHA I loooove characters who lie for no good reason only to benefit themselves and have a good time while others suffer (Kokichi doesn't count + I don't like him (also stop comparing David to Kokichi you guys are insane and don't understand character nuance SOWWY))

My apologies I'm still like keeling off [MULTIPLE SUBSTANCES OF VARYING LEGALITY] so DON'T tell me if this is incomprehensible or not because I'm speaking straight from the heart and the heart says I won't him. This reminds me that for the entire time he was having his MAIN psychotic break (especially in the animation) my best friend wouldn't stop fucking muttering in distress "I WANT HIM I WANT HIM I WANT HIM" I had to tell him to shut the fuck up even though I was also internally very much not normal. We should both be shot.

Still think David and Hu should kiss. I think now more than ever they should kiss. Maybe make out.

Actually do you know how many times I said "Shut up, Hu." during these two episodes?? It was at least 5 I was getting SO mad at her for like no good reason, I don't even remember WHY exactly but I think her mom friend energy was getting TOO motherly and I'm no longer appreciating the particular WAY she mothers people, i.e. picking favorites + taking accountability for said favorites + defending them blindly and naively but in weirdly elitist way etc etc etc.. Very typical of Snellyfish to ship toxic men with female characters they don't like. Maybe I should look into my soul for this one, doesn't seem like,,,healthy, or something. I'll write my own callout post for me on that one dw.

Also I'm not necessarily saying Hu has bad writing or a wholly unlikeable personality at all btw, I am interested to know Why she's like that, I just gotta get over the hill of disliking her rn. Uber sweetie characters like that can just get on my nerves is all. She's also definitely got the secret motive for having multiple Attempts, huh? Give us your backstory queen,,,, I promise to like you a little more if you can bring a lil tear or two to my eye,,,,,,, I think my main thing with her is that she's like the most NORMAL of the group LMFAO

Either way, Huvid real. Sorry, but it shouldn't be surprising, I'm a Verturo shipper after all, it's in my natur-

SPEAKING OF VERTUROOOOOHHHH MY GGOOODDDDD I ATE SOOO DAMN GOOD. NO CRUMBS LEFT, I WAS GOING CRAZY. GOOD GOD CHRIST ALMIGHTY. The way that Veronika was the ONLY mf defending Arturo and he was like "girl you're making me look BAD" was so fucking funny, I am so horribly obsessed with their dynamic it's unreal

Not to "omg as a veronika kinnie-" for the millionth time but GIRL-- the way that I've said in the past Multiple Times that I hope both Arturo and David get worse and worse in an irredeemable way (mostly David, I kiiiinda want some nice Arturo content maybe one day 😳), and to have Veronika in like the same episode (I think) pivot back and forth towards both Arturo AND David in a "ohhh you're horribly fucked up I hope you never get better because I want in your brain NOW!!! let me IN!!!!!! THE TOXIC FUMES ARE CALLING TO ME LIKE A SWEET SWEET SIREN!!!!!!!" I think all three of them should also hold hands and kiss and--

OH. OH OHH. ARTURORRROOOO God as a general fuckin stan of all three Arturo + Veronika + David I ATE SO DAMN GOOD IT'S BEEN CRAZY TO CONTAIN MY THOUGHTS LMAO, had to stew on this one before writing it all out y'see. I definitely want to rewatch this chapter sometime because I know I've consumed it pretty mindlessly and a lot goes over my head. EITHER WAY.

Arturo backstory real??? Arturo's breakdown about his sister and how it's not his fault?? Not your fault in what way? Blushes and bats my eyelashes and holds your latex glove hand. plink plink. <-- sound of me batting my eyelashe.s. I was also incredibly normal when he straight up pulled a scalpel on Eden Kai Satou style, really really sane I didn't make monkey sounds or ANything like that, you guys. trust me.

In general I try not to give too hard of a time on DRDT's writing because it's like,, a passion project, obviously not professionally done, just a happy little writer writing their happy little characters AND I APPRECIATE AND RELATE TO YALL SO MUCH FOR THAT;; But I do have to finally properly mention how I frequently face the problem of a very consistent flow of characters being very straightforward, telling instead of showing, and making things just very awkward seeming? I bring this up mostly because of the Eden/Arei scene. Don't get me wrong I LOVE that dynamic and I LOVE what could've been between them in their friendship (🌈?) but I also wish that they didn't write Arei to so boldly claim like "I've been a manipulative bitch" or something like that, I guess I just don't feel that it's the kind of thing someone (especially like her, even with her breakdown-breakthru with David) would be able to articulate so clearly, and accept so honestly in such a short timeframe; I dunno. I've felt this way with a lot of dialogue even just in the prologue/introductions sections, wherein characters speak like they're Just Characters and know exactly how to word things like robots and just don't speak like Real people half the time. Whateva. That's my nitpick. I definitely think the dialogue has gotten better but the Arei thing ticked me off, but, I think her self-awareness might just be a crucial part of her character I'm not picking up on enough so,,,,augh, might just be me, honestly! I'm not the greatest writer myself so 🙏 feh!

Can't wait to figure out if I ship Arturo and J or not. Feel insane about it. Every time they talk I'm like DO I??? DO I SHIP IT??????? LOOKS AROUND AT THE AUDIENCE

GUYS I'LL BE REAL I'M STILL SO LOST ON WHO THE FUCKING KILLER IS LMAO!!!!!!! Entirely forgetting everyone's alibis right now so I can't really say who I'm leaning towards because they could be completely safe and I'm just dense and didn't pay enough attention. My b.

Even though Ace is one of my top fav characters I can feel myself getting steadily less and less interested in him just because all of his energy is going into the stupid Nico/Levi situation and I'm like SO sick of it Actual. I know it's mostly because I don't personally like Nico or Levi AND because this shit keeps getting brought up with no resolution nor any progress and it's like BRO.. I'M SICK OF IT. The amount of times they would bicker and I'd say "I'm sick of this drama." and then strategically zone out in self-defense was kind of funny. ACE DEFINITELY HAD SOME REALLY GOOD PARTS IN THESE EPISODES OUTSIDE OF THAT THOUGH GHGHHG HE KEEPS ME HOOKED, THAT DAMNED SMILE, as a chihuahua lover myself I can never stray too far from Ace's light, he's so fucking funny and I love his dynamic with David-- oh no, I love his dynamic with David........... Looks at my palms.

As always: Charles<3 I have such a funny relationship with him because it's like, he's not one of my top favs by any means, doesn't stand out the most for my particular taste, but I also have literally no reason to dislike him and he's just written GOOD, so whenever he shows up and has a nice scene or a nice line I just go "ah,,,,,,, charles<3" Not a single negative thought about him. He's like a sister to me. This isn't true I have many negative thoughts about my sister but you know!

I THINK THAT'S IT. THERE YOU GO. FEAST, MY ANONS, ASSUMING ANYONE HAS THE WILL TO READ THIS IN IT'S ENTIRETY HAHAHAHA. Time to go watch Demon Slayer Season 3!!!!!!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #ask #anon #🦆

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koinotame · 6 months

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\o/

hi! it's me, nana / koinotame!

if you're wondering why i went inactive and then deleted, my mental health kind of (really) tanked... and i ended up deleting my blog in a fit.

it's getting better bit by bit though! and i've been wanting to get back into writing (and talking abt my unhinged/yan ideas i can't really talk to anyone else abt), so. here i am! for now, at least

as for my previously posted writing, there's some good news and some bad news: the bad news is that everything i wrote directly into tumblr (99% of snippets, a lot of ask answers, most exact content warnings, etc) is gone. the slightly less bad news is that iirc there were very very few posts of mine that weren't reblogged by anyone at all, so they're probably still out there? feel free to send them my way if you find any and i'll rb them. @/midnight-remembrance also has reblogged a couple of them! there's a couple snippets i have saved in some places, so i might repost those on my own as i find them, but there's very few of those. the good news is that anything longer (proper writing — oneshots, hcs, yan alphabet responses and so on, prompt responses, etc) is safely backed up where i originally wrote it! some of it is also on my ao3, which is the same username. feel free to send me asks about any you'd like to see again and i'll repost them! i might not post them if i feel too embarrassed about/wish i hadn't posted them, and i might rewrite/heavily edit some of them, but i think there's only a handful that fall into the former category and none of them were particularly popular. either way, no harm in asking!

as for some other updates: i'm a little divided on whether i want to keep posting explicit nsfw or not so we'll see. i might just keep it out of main tags. idk yet. regardless of what decision i make, this blog is still strictly 18+ and that will not be changing. since we can reply from sideblogs now, this is a sideblog and not my main now. why? sometimes i prefer to check up on a blog frequently instead of following them for a couple of reasons, but this felt very awkward when they were following me. so this being a sideblog relieves a bit of that stress. if this makes it sound like i have severe brain worms, it's because i do. to that effect though, if we interact every so often feel free to consider us mutuals regardless of whether or not i'm actually following you =w=b tbh i.............. am not really into genshin anymore. i might post about it here and there but i just Do Not (really) Care about it anymore. scara aside to some degree i also have no clue what's going on post inazuma lol whatever projects or commitments to writing or etc i had made beforehand. i forgot all of them so just pretend that never happened ok? ok i'll also probably be posting more sparsely, but we'll see! and (this is obviously the most important bit) i have no clue where i put the mika edit so we're back to my og classic pfp. the header scales terribly and is temporary, please ignore that too

all that aside, as a treat for anyone who sees this in time,

*roughly 6/22 done, but fairly quick to write. roughly one paragraph per character (sneak peek line: "it's not too hard to be discreet with his unique magic when someone really deserves to fall face down a flight of stairs. or three. oopsie. odd they don't remember it, huh? well, he had nothing to do with that.") **more realistic isn't quite the right word(s)... probably won't post this one to the main tags regardless. won't be doing all of the characters (only important/relevant ones) and won't be writing more about/expanding on, so this one is just like. a one off experiment sort of thing. overall less violent than most takes on the au + leans a bit (or lot, depending on how you look at it) more on the religious aspect of self aware aus. i wrote a couple paragraphs a while ago, then rewrote them, but i'll only finish/post them if there's interest for it (sneak peek line: "aether has deluded himself and cast You aside entirely on his own—and when You finally grace them with Your real presence, zhongli is certain aether will be the first to fall from Your grace.")

i have one other new thing immediately ready for posting that'll get posted in a couple of days but that one's pretty silly

#koinotame #and hi to the three people that found this blog before i posted this o/#long post #i ended up writing a lot. ehem.#<- the type to always have trouble getting essays down to the max word limit #if nobody ends up seeing this. well. it'll be here still when i post some actual writing #q

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phantom090 · 1 month

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Writing Commissions Open!

I have experience writing fiction and fantasy books, short stories and even video scripts! If you've had a scene or story for your OC's, favorite fandom, idea for a video, or even your DND campaign floating around your head for a while now but don't have the time to dedicate to learning how to write it the way you want then let me take it off your shoulders!

1k or less $10

2k and up $20

5k and above $30-40

I’d say max words would be around 7-8k but I am willing to negotiate!

Payment methods are limited to PayPal and Venmo, half due at time of commissioning and half when you receive your finished piece.

I will not write incest, NSFW involving minors, or anything outragesly/unreasonably violent.

Even if you aren't interested in commissioning right now rebloging this can help me reach someone who is!

Thanks!

Small example of my work under the cut;

Inside the Elf city it was bustling and full of warmth and humidity, the scent of fresh-baked breads and home cooked meals rolled out through the doorways and open windows, or, actually, when I looked closer I noticed that there were no shutters to close, no doors in the arches; everything was just built open.

I had to take care not to run into bustling Elves and their children as they ran through the square, chasing each other and squealing. As they played they ran in and out of every building, unhindered, and none of the adults complained or shoved them aside; even when they ran through the stores, collecting toys and snacks—I had to restrain Val as she tried to follow a few fresh bread rolls carried by tiny hands—and resuming their fun without pausing to ask or pay.

I watched them in wonder; their outfits were all iridescent, in varying degrees of subtlety, the light shining off of their threads, and they all had rich colors; reds, golds, yellows, silvers, and a few colors I couldn’t even name.

Similar styles united the crowd, loose fabric blouses with little to no sleeves, silk belts tied around their waists, they wore cropped pants and simple, lightweight flat shoes.

Most of the Elves walked in tight-knit groups, laughing and horsing around: even more sat around the wells and fountains sharing stories and gossip about the other Realms. It was hard not to feel at ease just being among them.

Even Lokke seemed in better spirits; every now and then an Elf would stop us to greet him and Thor warmly. Though, they seemed to have a preference for the giant, and they’d hang on to his arm for a good moment and trail on about the latest goings on: a great deal of the news had to do with jokes and pranks that sounded mildly alarming and potentially life-threatening to me, but that both Lokke and the Elves got a great deal of amusement out of.

Seeing them up close I noticed that their skin tones varied like any other but it was full of vibrancy and light and as I watched them it almost seemed to shift in the sun, as if they themselves were made of iridescent threads.

Lokke was mimicking them, I noticed, as he stood a few feet shorter and his skin began reflecting the light as theirs did.

So much of this world was built of light and gold, but it never faded in on itself, it never blurred, it was all so stark and easy to see and understand; almost like the Realm itself was incapable of lying. I felt more at ease here than I had in a very long time, still, the weight of our quest and what had happened hung heavy on my shoulders and there in the broad light of Álfheim I shivered.

Word count: 484

#fandom #a03 #writing comms open #my writing #writing community #911 abc #supernatural #percy jackson #pjo #avatar the last airbender #mha

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longeyelashedtragedy · 1 day

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twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @tetrapod7 ...i did some of them already, but not all! so i might as well answer the ones i didn't already answer!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 155! now that i have an anonymous fic these all will get more annoying to answer, looool

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 478,822

3. what fandoms do you write for? right now i just write for "men's football rpf." i'm occasionally tempted to write for the Old Fandom again.

4. top five fics by kudos: top 5 of all time are all from a song of ice and fire days:

drabbles of ice and fire

captivated

egg baby

arya saves the day

ends and beginnings

was i the best writer of aged-up arya/jaqen AUs in the fandom? uh, yes, since 4 of those are...that, lol.

if we're just talking footy though...

shakira ex machina

doce

two hundred words to say i love you

ça c'est ma dope

hairbrush

oh ffs...removing the crossovers....

shakira ex machina

two hundred words to say i love you

hairbrush

the right kind of blue

desperate times

5. do you respond to comments? sometimes....when i don't lose track 😭 i need to be better...

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i answered that here!

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ummm...not sure. could it be 5.VII? that's a really satisfying ending. i'll go ahead and say that one.

8. do you get hate on fics? only once, and it was a very pathetic stab at armchair activism "how dare you write a fic on this problematic topic" shit. it could happen again at any time i guess.

9. do you write smut? unfortunately...i'm not very good at it and it stresses me out.

10. craziest crossover: i wrote hozier x jaqen h'ghar for my bestie long ago and posted it at like ass am in zurich airport :')

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? yes! answered here. it was this rakidric! published 3 days before we all locked down. i have not read this in a zillion years.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? also answered here!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? answered here but also i want to cowrite with someone so very much!

14. all time favorite ship? also answered here!

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? my ivantoine, "In The" :'( and others too...my post-WC modren for example. i'm wondering if Mare Liberum will ever be finished. we'll see...

16. what are your writing strengths? i think i am confident and experienced and that comes across (?) even things i wrote a while ago, that i think are "better" (more artistic, more daring) sound less experienced at the same time. my dialogue has improved so much. i think my fics have a good rhythm--varied sentence lengths, good use of repetition and parallelism, line breaks, etc. i like to think i can get people to empathize with/care about people they didn't expect. my writing helps me examine my own flaws. i am not sure what else? my bff said i describe love and loss really well <3

17. what are your writing weaknesses? i think i'm a weak writer, actually! i think my writing is shallow and always sounds the same. a lot of angsty endings, alienated characters, sounds more immature than it should. i don't know how to make porn hot (because i think strange things are hot, i guess?). truly, i've been grappling with how shallow it all sounds. i am a deep feeler (lol) but not a deep thinker at all and i think that shows.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? answered here

19. first fandom you wrote in? answered here!

20. favorite fic you've written? honestly--my favorites are probably still trophy boyfriend and then "chief of the armed forces" because that's just an absolute crackfic masterpiece. in footy...i probably should pick some favorites, no? let's go with dangerous, i tore off the golden branch, possible red card - violent conduct, rojo y blanco/crvena bijela, and 5.VII. i feel like some franko fics belong here but i just chose 5!

#tetrapod #fic saga #possible red card is funny because it's SOOO Good but i can tell how shaky i was at writing xhakarteta #no true headcanons yet!

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stinkybreath · 6 months

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hello

do you trust me to recommend you some books

I read ~170 this year and here’s reviews of my top ten, written for fb and crossposted under the cut in case you’re interested

1: Camp Concentration by Thomas Disch

-I know it’s not obvious from the way I conduct myself here, but I have a very large vocabulary. I was a kid who read the dictionary and also any thesaurus I had access to. So, that said, consider how much it means to me personally that this book taught me 30-50 new words. This isn’t a huge part of the reason I loved this book, but it is a very impressive fact about it that I think will grab the attention of people who might otherwise not read it. This book changed the way I read, the way I think about literature, and the way I evaluate what I have previously read. It’s offensive to me that I lived 30 years as an avid reader and culture sponge without hearing about this book. I cannot recommend it enough. I give it top spot on this list for a very good reason. I’d like to avoid spoiling any of the plot because while I called the twist easily, discovery of each point was so delightful that I want you to have that same experience.

2: Cockatiel x Chameleon by Bavitz

-You all have plenty of experience with me recommending works of fiction published online in formats that deter most readers. This is a normal Najwa activity. I know how it sounds and I know, therefore, that this plea will go more or less unheard, but I BEG you. Look past the fact this was published on AO3. This is one of the most remarkable books I’ve read, period. I mentioned in my worst of how much it bothers me that most writers can’t plausibly write about the internet. This book is the FUCKING ZENITH of writing about being online. It is the absolute peak and I will be shocked if I ever encounter another work that overtakes it. This is a book about people who are so strange they are barely human, but in ways that will be instantly familiar, intimately true, to those of us who grew up on the internet. There is violence and abuse and love and beauty and Chatroulette. There is art and gore and exploration of identity and apocalypse. There is fucking POSTING.

3: Serious Weakness by Porpentine

-Charity Heartscape Porpentine is one of our greatest living authors, opinions of snide Twitter users notwithstanding. I am an evangelist for her Twine game poetry because it is so singular and so affecting. Even a decade on, I can play through Their Angelical Understanding and feel freshly stabbed in the gut. Imagine the thrill I felt when she posted about her completed novel. I would (strongly) recommend this even to people who (somehow) bounced off her games, because her prose style is very distinct from the voice those are in (yet still recognizable). This is an incredibly violent, sick, stomach-turning, difficult, ugly, terrifying book. It’s also ultimately asking the reader a question about love and compassion. If you are sensitive to any trigger in written word about any violent action one person can do to another, skip this book, but if you feel like you have the strength, give her the nine bucks or whatever that she’s asking and devour it like I did. A hook for you: our protagonist has a chance meeting with an embodiment of pain. What follows includes torture, gender, climate disaster, and Columbine. Gorgeous. This book almost convinced me to start doing video essays so I could explain to people the incredible factors at play in it.

4: Negative Space by BR Yeager

-I have been trying to read this book for free for so long that I broke my streak and paid actual money for it. It was one of the better purchases I made all year. Thanks to finally reading some Stephen King this year I now have the requisite foundation to see how heavily his style inspired Yeager in this book, but I would die on the hill defending my position that Yeager does King better than King ever did. There is evil seeping out between the lines of this book. Have you ever had a nightmare that made you feel doomed the entire next day? Have you ever felt you were trapped in your shitty, dying home town? Have you ever been seduced by the excitement of activities that you know might actually kill you? Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and looked at your own dark reflection? Go back to the deepest point of your teenage depression here.

5: We Who Are About to by Joanna Russ

-One of the shortest entries on this list and so one of the easiest sells, but it is just as full of meaning as any other that made the cut. There is so much implied and unsaid about this protagonist. She feels whole, like this is the last chunk of chapters in a series centered on her, but she represents something universal. She is one member of a group from a crash-landed spaceship, a group small enough in numbers that there’s no way for humanity to last on this planet more than one more generation. Any attempts to do even that are so plainly cruel and self-deluding that she wants no part of them, but the others with her don’t see it the same way. Her story is womanhood under patriarchy, it is life and death, it is self-determination. Brutal. I read this at the airport and cried in public.

6: Carrie by Stephen King

-As much as I hate to say it, I gotta hand it to Uncle Steve (or really to Tabitha). This book very nearly justifies the rest of his career on its own. I thought had picked up most of it from cultural osmosis, but there was a truly shocking depth that I couldn’t have found without experiencing it firsthand. Maybe it’s funny to use this word here, but this book is humanist and compassionate and sincere in a way that King never finds again, particularly with the women he writes. Carrie is so vivid that I felt a protective instinct for her throughout the book even though I knew she was about to discover her own power. She reflects parts of me about as well as Lindqvist did in Little Star, which is the work of art that is THE most personal to me. A classic for a fucking reason.

7: The Doloriad by Missouri Williams

-This year, lots of the books that I read had strange echoes of each other. In this, I can pick out shades of Carrie, of Camp Concentration, of We Who Are About To, and even of Serious Weakness. Rarely if ever are these references by each author, but it has enriched my experience by having unofficial interlocking intertexts for all of them. This book has been very divisive with reviewers, and I understand why, because it is cruel and the prose is extremely stylistic. This is somewhat experimental and fully literary and sincerely philosophical. I get it. Not for everyone. But it was for me. A clan of inbreds at the end of the world with their eyes on their scapegoat, nonverbal and disabled Dolores. It shocked me and it challenged me and I loved it.

8: The Ice Cream Man and Other Stories by Sam Pink

-These short stories did the exact opposite of the thing that pissed me off about The Florida Project. These are about people who are varying degrees of sympathetic but the same degree of desperately, penny-scrapingly working poor. The easy pull quote is “unflinching,” because it turns an eye on very ugly parts of real life for so many of us. I think people who grew up middle class will find some voyeuristic, prurient pleasure in these stories, but they’re not written for you. They’re written for us, the people who have lived this way.

I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman 9

-I don’t need to tell you how great this book is, because the whole of booktok has told you this all year. Instead, what I will say is that it is much stranger and less tidy than you’re imagining when you hear the blurb. It’s a short read and it is one of the few times I haven’t regretted following booktok’s advice.

Only Lovers Left Alive by Dave Wallis 10

-This barely squeaked onto this year’s best of, because I started it before 2022 ended and finished it early in the new year. As I read it, especially in the first 20% of the book, I was confused as to how it ended up on my TBR. But toward the end, and throughout the year as I’ve continued to think about it, I understand more instinctively than intellectually that this is a remarkable work. A short synopsis: in the 80s in the UK, there is an epidemic of suicide, but only by adults. The teens left behind forge their own path.

#Porpentine #Bavitz #Thomas Disch #Dave Wallis #Sam pink #Stephen King #jacqueline harpman #Joanna Russ #Missouri Williams #br yeager #b. r. yeager #charity heartscape porpentine

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ijustthinkhesneat · 1 year

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I’m back and with a vengeance!

It’s ya boy Dicks turn. I’ve reflected on my relationship with canon and decided I don’t have one so if people feel like it’s ooc, then your probably right and you can fight me in the Denny’s parking lot.

Age: I am a firm believer that Dick is in his early twenties so like 22.

Got adopted by Bruce at 9-10 and had his rebellious faze around 16.

Gender: Male, he/him pronouns

Sexuality: This man is pansexual I’m sorry but it’s the truth.

Ethnicity: Romani. DICK GRAYSON IS A PERSON OF COLOR SAY IT LOUD FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

Favorite food: Cereal. I firmly believe that Dick can cook but simply chooses not too.

-Dick has ADHD, this man is hyperactive, has the attention span of a mushroom and is constantly stimming. Like your trying to tell me he bends himself into all these wacky shapes just for fun exercise? Wrong, he’s fidgeting and just has the range.

-Dick practices gymnastics to work off all his excess energy.

-I also headcanon that Dick has Joint hypermobility syndrome. He didn’t get treated for it until he moved in with Bruce because everyone just thought he was a really good circus kid. Bruce figured it out when he realized Dick had trouble writing and and doing precise actions with his hands. Dick went to occupational therapy for a few years after that.

- This is all to say Dick has a Superman themed hand splint he uses when he needs to write for long periods.

- Dick slowly drifting away from Bruce happened a lot less violently than in canon for me for a few reasons. One I think Bruce is a better parent here and is a lot less emotionally neglectful of Dick and treats him with more respect. Relatively speaking, Bruce is still a broody emotionally constipated emo. Instead I think a lot of it has to do with the teenage desire for freedom, Dick had a really mutable life in Hally’s circus where he was meeting all different kinds of people and traveling all over the place, but now is has a much more structured lifestyle and he wants to push the boundaries. The other reason is because I don’t like DC making Bruce ✨physically abusive✨.

- I think their first big fight is when dick decides to really test the limits by sneaking out to go to a concert, he ends up having a few drinks and smoking some cigarettes. When he got back to the manner Bruce was freaking out. They end up having a screaming match about being responsible and Dick feeling like Bruce is too controlling.

- In reality before Dick got back Bruce was having a full blown panic spiral because he thought one of the rogues captured Dick.

- The fight that actually causes Dick to finally run away is one night Bruce finds him having a moment with another boy from Gotham Academy. A lot of Bruce’s repression, trauma from his childhood and internalized homophobia flares up and he says some cruel things to Dick. Bruce goes up to Dicks room an hour later to apologize to him but his room is already empty.

- Dick spends the next year primarily with the Titans, sometimes he calls Alfred. Bruce tries to contact him many times but Dick ignores him. After this he moves to bloodhaven and becomes Nightwing. Dick learns that Batman has a new Robin and is furious.

-When he goes back to the manner he comes in swinging. He immediately tries to pick a fight with Bruce and starts yelling, this ends up scaring Jason that he hides in the library. Dick learns that Bruce is in therapy to unpack his trauma and Dick leaves.

- The first night Dick spends at the manner is a few months later, his relationship with Bruce is still bad buts he’s willing to tolerate him now at least. In the morning he finds a stick figure drawing that was slid under his door while he slept showing him and Jason holding hands. Dick decides if he can’t repair his relationship with his dad coworker for himself he could for this kid.

- Sometimes Dick let’s Jason sleep at his apartment on the weekends and teaches him French. Their relationship isn’t perfect but Dick grows to love his little brother.

-Then Jason goes off the grid and Dick learns about Jason’s death. Jason’s funeral is the first time Dick calls Bruce dad again.

- I think that Dick warmed up a lot to Bruce and really supported Tim I’m becoming the next Robin. I think he tried to keep his emotional distance but ultimately really warmed up to Tim when he asked Dick to teach him gymnastics to improve his acrobatic skills.

- When Damian shows up I think Dick is really conflicted because while he is internally excited about having a new baby brother he will never get over the trauma of losing Jason so he’s really on guard.

- Dick feels his big brother instincts kick in when he sees some other boys bullying Damian because he isn’t white.

-When Cass shows up Dick has fully given up on resisting the urge to baby his siblings. He helps her practice ballet and they have flexibility contests.

- Dick is in a throuple with Kory and Wally, sorry I don’t make the rules just serve them up.

- When Jason comes back I think Dick is hit almost as hard as Bruce. Dick first runs into Jason one on one After the events of under the Red Hood, and sees Jason kill someone. Dicks brain kind of short circuits because he is watching something terrible but on the other hand Jason is still baby brother shaped in his mind.

- Jason finally starts talking to Dick again when he breaks into Dicks apartment to snoop and sees that Dick keeps the drawing Jason gave him framed in his bed room.

Trigger warning for the next part: SA/R*pe

- Dick getting assaulted by tarantula was really changed Dick. Like obviously it would, but DC never talks about it so I will. After Tarantula, Dick started self isolating, he wouldn’t leave his apartment for days on end. Feel water on him was a big trigger so he started to even avoid showering. Eventually Kory and Wally found him and brought him to the manor.

-His recovery was really slow going and years of undiscussed objectification, mind control, memory loss and sexual harassment had left Dick with a terrible self image. But the batfam really pulled together to support him. Bruce even convinced him to go to therapy. He’s getting better day by day.

Okay this was so long and basically just evolved into a story outline, promise I’ll try to reign it in next time.

#dick grayson #bruce wayne #nightwing #trauma #headcanon #batfam #Jason Todd is a real one #Jason is lowkey dicks favorite

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spinelesswrites · 6 months

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nanowrimo 2: 2023: it’s so over

i finished yesterday at 4 pm. just about 50,542 words. kind of a slay. debrief under the cut

this was my second year and i split it between one main project (new novel idea) and a few other fics, and 35k words went to the new project!!! so a pretty good chunk which i am pleased with

so let's see. this year vs last year. last year's piece was a novel i'd literally been working on for like 7 years with countless notes and outlines. this year i was violently pantsing it. i truly just had a setting, vague plot, and a vibe and went with it. this is SOOOO different from how i usually write and it was scary at first (i didn't have anyone's name!! i set the piece in the 1920s and did 0 minutes of research before starting!!!) but ultimately a lot of fun because i could go Fuck It and go ham on the keyboard. this doesn't really work in terms of pacing but that's fine because i have the start, now I can reverse engineer the plot and figure out what the hell is actually going on. which i will do. later

last year was harder because... it's hard doing anything for the very first time and I cared a lot about that story. because this one was so new i had no preconceived notions about how the characters should sound or how close the narrative should be. but honestly it turned out more consistently than i thought it would! whereas last year i would get stuck trying to find "the right words" this year i knew that the right words were the one on the page

i am a very average if not slow typer, about 37ish words a minute, which means 1667 words can be typed in roughly 45 minutes (uninterrupted) which! i did not do. instead i set timers for 20-25 minutes and wrote during that then took a break, which at that point is basically just the pomodoro method. which like. yeah! i was most successful when i had two sessions of writing a day

last year my whole body hurt after finishing but i was writing like 2200 words a day so like. yeah. this year towards the end i was really feeling it in my wrists and fingers. my fingies still hort ): maybe next year I'll find out how to do this with less pain

so many people are so intimidated by NaNoWriMo which like. yes. but i think everyone who doesn't write thinks 1667 words requires 6 hours straight which it. typically does not! though everyone is different and has a different method. also yes if i had to think more about what i was typing of course i'd be slower. that's not the point of nanowrimo though

this whole post is probably around 500 words which is basically already 1/3 the daily word count. if you're a writer or artist who has never done nanowrimo before i really recommend it! i think some of the critiques are valid but i find it reallyy helpful, and i definitely feel 50,000 words a better writer :) oh and also this year i went to in person events in my neighborhood and it was great, everyone was super sweet and supportive!!!!

so yeah i had a lot of fun and i'll def be back next year!!!!!!!!

#nanowrimo 2023 #nanowrimo #txt

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dualityvn · 2 years

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i am giving myself a brain break from my other obligations by writing you another unhinged theory post. (and because i miss sending you these wait who said that) enjoy <3

ight so, i was close last time and my main points then were [redacted] and [redacted] (bc i don't know if this is gonna be closer or not so i dunno if ur gonna post it) since one of those points has been all but confirmed due to recent ask answers and you not posting my theory, im gonna skip right over top of it. ( i am trying to be vague you'll get the picture)

So instead were gonna talk about the part im pretty sure i got wrong, or at least not close, which is where Tenebris/ maybe Keith? still up in the air on if Keith is aware when he's not in direct control, go when not physically present in the world. Due to being able to give ask answers more weight now i do think Tenebris is at least visible to most other people. It could be that as they've both grown, Tenebris has become able to hide his presence a little bit better, resulting in Keith being able to have negative relationships with his exs because why else would anyone think to hurt the poor flower boy when he has a literal monster standing behind him. unless they were just stupid, which is a very real possibility because of the aforementioned being mean to the sweet and adorable Keith. Tenebris' general existence provides some reasoning behind Keiths' parents actions, once again not excusing them because they suck and i hate them, but in one of the asks you said that their relationship with Keith would probably have at least been better if they had only had Keith alone, they didn't want Tenebris too. (which once again sucks i get that its not the ideal situation to have some sort of violent 'monster' living a very attached life with your son but maybe if you had treated them both with human decency and they wouldn't be such 'monsters' huh? bet you didn't think about that did you. god i hate them)

Moving on.

Sudden thought that was Not planned for this, but what if the line "he is speaking, speaking for me" from the song means like, Tenebris can see the world when he's not physically present but cant talk, he has to talk through Keith. and Keith is just like, a prisoner in his own body when this happens. oooo that's neat. i had something else planned but that's a cool concept im gonna rock with that.

im fairly certain this isnt going to get posted so hi nightmare how are you. hope ur feeling better, shitty life stuff sucks, but it'll get better i pwomise mwah (that and the heart earlier are platonic btw i wouldn't wanna step on Tads creators toes and get excommunicated from the church of Tad that would be very unradical)

Speaking of Tad since this is just me talking to you now apparently, i saw the outcry for a Tad theory and while I do have Thoughts i don't have anything super concrete yet. Plus notamonsterfucker wanted to work with me on theory stuff sometime and i lov them so we're thinking about Tad Together so it'll be a bit unless your boyfriend wants to feed us some more crumbs. Thatd be pretty cool, but no pressure obviously. This isn't a Tad blog and i as much as i enjoy Tad, i enjoy Keith and Tenebris more so keep making what you wanna make and i will continue to stew on your vagueness.

uuhh not much theory there at the end but yeah. also this received even less than my usual amount of proofreading because it is nearly midnight here and i am Tired so if its is unreadable that is why.

goodnight

I'm gonna show this, cause it still doesn't mention their explicit situation. Last one had something that was spot on, hehe. But yeah, you're doing good, but some things are still not quite there yet

And hello, I'm doing better today, thank you for asking :D

I'm glad you guys are bonding over Tad lore, lmao. I know my bf is cooking something, cause that ending to the restaurant ad had a sus end. Or maybe he has no idea what he's doing, who knows? He's definitely enjoying the attention Tad is getting though.

#duality game #yandere #dating sim #duality theory

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maddies-chronicles · 7 months

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jayden.

jayden james finnegan (he/him) is an oc of mine based on a real person (PLEASE do not come for me i know i have a problem ok i KNOW). he originally comes from a whodunnit story i wrote about a series of arsons in a high school. i shared a lot of the enemies-to-lovers arc he has with his in-story love interest, morgan fay (they/them), who is basically just me in another font. despite this, i still manage to be jealous of them when i write scenes. his face claim is akeem osborne (which, he's not a totally correct pick for jayden, technically the ethnicities don't match up, but akeem was the closest person i could find physical features-wise).

(read more bc this is a long post)

i meet jayden in fourth grade, when he befriends my longtime friend named joel corbyn (he/him). joel and i stop talking shortly after, and for a while, i kind of view jayden as the reason (even though he is well and truly not). cue some CR trauma involving another ex-friend's meddling, and boom! jayden and i hate each other.

in fifth grade, jayden and i have two separate conflicts that both involve us getting expelled from our previous school, and we both end up in seacoast boarding academy's probatio program. we're less than thrilled to see each other, but after some character development on my part and his, we become friends in or around ninth grade. eventually, around eleventh grade he asks me out and i say yes.

jayden is kind of an asshole (lmao), but not really in an evil way so much as a funny way. really he's only mean to people who deserve it, but he's very witty and goofy. he's definitely a class clown type of person, and he's extremely popular, whereas for most of my life i am not. he's on the football team, he's a skater boy, and he's "too cool for school" (read: he has ADHD and dyslexia- the school system has failed him and he feels like he's just stupid, makes an attempt to convince himself and other people that his failure to meet academic expectations is a conscious choice and not a personal failing. also yes he and i make demigod jokes, because i have ADHD and dyscalculia. he jokes that he's a greek demigod, i joke that i'm a roman demigod). he does really good in one class though- any math class. this is because the math classrooms have access to audio pens, and highlighted words can be read out loud to the user through headphones. despite usually being a brilliant situational observer, jayden somehow never makes a connection between the audio pens and his success in the classes.

jayden's family life is insanely complicated. his parents have been divorced since early childhood. his father is a violent alcoholic and has been jailed several times. his mom remarried a guy named stephane, and jayden now has one full-blood older brother (kaden, he/him, two years older), one step-sister sharing no blood relation to him (genevieve, she/her, three years younger), and one maternal half-sister (rosalie, she/her, five years younger). his dad moves back in with them when we're about seventeen, causes many problems, and his mom and stephane briefly separate during this time (everything ends up being okay with them, though). jayden has a pretty strained relationship with his dad, and during this period of time he definitely comes to stay with me or another friend more often than not. his family's not rich necessarily, but they would be considered pretty good living standards for middle class.

he's a disaster bisexual. he loves wearing maxi skirts, painting his nails black, and when i do his eyeliner. he loves red roses and hoodies and those little goofy valentine's day teddy bears. despite being on the football team, he's a fairly wiry, thin guy, and i'm definitely stronger than him physically lol. he's honestly probably better suited to soccer than football, but i guess his friends are all on the football team. he's 5'10", which means that even though my DR self is taller than my CR self, he is still very much taller than me. we both love coffee dates, and we frequently go out to just sit and talk in a coffee shop for literal hours. he gets a latte and i get a black iced coffee and every single time he makes some kind of joke about it and me being nuts and i make a joke back about him being a wimp. i love him so much and i'm definitely going to make an entire second post talking about this man because he's just so awesome and amazing and i love him ok bye

#shifting community #reality shift #shifting realities #shifting antis dni #shifters #shift #desired reality #shifting #shiftblr #reality shifting #scripts #scripting #script #boarding school DR

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plentyoffandoms · 2 years

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The Ridder x f/Reader

Main Masterlist ♡ The Batman Masterlist ♡ The Riddler Masterlist ♡ Somebody's Watching Me Masterlist

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Warnings: Some swearing. Riddler stalking the F/Reader. Obsessive behaviour.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me.

Also have no idea if anyone would read this. Just wanted to write for The Riddler.

Summary: f/Reader volunteers in her spare time at Arkham Asylum. The Riddler takes a liking to her.

YN's POV:

Even though this isn't my first time walking through these doors, I still always get an uneasy feeling.

I mean, how could I not? Arkham Asylum is home to the most dangerous criminals in Gotham history and yet, I am the stupid person that volunteers in their spare time here.

It wasn't by choice at first. Just after I turned 18 years old, I got into some trouble with the law and because it was my first offence and it wasn't serious, I was forced to do 700 hours of community service at Arkham.

Now that seems like a lot and trust me, it was but it was better than the alternative. Working in Mayor Mitchell's office.

At first I was going to take that option but then I remembered one of my friends saying in passing that our old Mayor made a pass at her when she volunteered there one summer.

And when she turned him down, he threatened her. I don't know with what exactly, but not long after that, she left for college and refused to step foot back in Gotham.

"Look who it is. Long time no see YN." Steve, the guard at the front desk said to me, pulling me back to reality.

"How you doing Steve? Hope Crystal and the boys are doing good?" I said to him.

It has been almost a year and half since I came here. After the flood, my home was destroyed and I had to work my ass off to be able to get to where I am now.

"Good thing you were here that night huh YN?" I tried not to think about that night. The night when The Riddler set off bombs along the edge of our city and flooded it.

Hundreds died. Many people are still with out a home and for what reason? Because some crazy man decided that he wanted to get revenge against the elite of Gotham.

Instead, he just took everyone else down. The ones who work their asses off, day in and day out just trying to survive this city.

"Yes, it was good thing because I probably would of been at home and well, that place is gone." Steve gave me a look of pity, so I decided to change the subject quickly.

"Where am I needed today?"

I was placed in the library, helping to set up for the movie night that they did for the less violent prisoners.

I ignored the looks and the whispers from the people that were in there. I was used to it anyways.

The guards are not that far away and are keeping a close eye on them. It wouldn't be the first time I would be attacked in here, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

But then I heard a different name being muttered. "The Riddler."

Or as I have learned, Edward Nashton. I looked up when the room went silent. I couldn't help but stare at the man who Gotham still fears.

The same man who rallied a whole bunch of outcasts behind him and who they were willing to kill for.

He himself was staring back at me. Confused by my mere presence and then he did something that completely and utterly shocked me.

He gave me a small smile and raised his handcuffed hands up and waved at me.

I couldn't move. I could hardly breath as I watched the guard behind him, push him to get moving.

The moment I was done, I was gone. I practically ran from the building. I didn't bother to say goodbye to anyone.

I had to get out of there.

Even as I sat in cab on the ride home, I still had the same feeling I had when I laid eyes on him.

I have a feeling I shouldn't be going back to Arkham. Not when he is there.

The Riddler's POV:

I was stunned to see that woman standing in the middle of the library. Not because she was a woman, as Arkham has many of them, but for the fact that I have never seen someone as beautiful as her.

When she looked me, it felt like she was really looking into my soul. Her beautiful eyes got real wide when I waved at her but she did not move to look away.

No no, she continued to look at me. The moment was broken when my guard pushed me to get me moving again.

I had to find out who she is and I will not rest until I do.

After waiting weeks for the mysterious women to come back, I had to ask two of the guards for help.

They were up in the rafters during the flood and have never stopped believing in me and how I was and still right for what I did.

"This is all we can find on her. Her name is YN LN."

The last name sounds familiar. "LN?"

"Her family used to own the Gotham bank. That was until her father was murdered during his morning jog about fifteen years ago." Vince told me.

"From word of mouth, he learned about what they were doing with the Renewal Fund and was going to expose them."

I looked through the file that they gave me as they told me more about her.

Father murdered.

Mother drank herself to death and spent the family fortune on bad investments, leaving her only child with nothing to her name.

YN put herself through Gotham University by working at the same Diner I was arrested at, as well as working at a few high-end shops that the rich shop at.

"What does she do now?" I asked Carl after I was done looking through the first one. He handed me another file.

"She is a Realtor." I turned to see one of her ads. Her smiling face looking up at me.

"You have her address?" I don't see it in the file.

"2468 Fanshaw Road Sir."

I dismissed the two of them as they have been in here longer than what they should of been.

I put the files away, but kept her photo out. Trying to memorize her face into my brain.

"YN LN. You will be mine." I whispered to her photo.

Tag List: please let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

Looks like it is time to move my escape plan up by a few months.

Part 2

#the batman 2022 #the batman #the batman imagine #the batman fix #the batman x y/n #the batman x female reader #the batman x fem!reader #the riddler #the riddler fic #the riddler imagine #the riddle x female reader #paul dano riddler #paul dano riddler x female reader #paul dano riddler x reader #edward nashton #edward nashton x you #edward nashton x female reader

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libellule-ao3 · 1 year

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After Kettleburn I wanted more and continued on Ao3. I wanted to just go at your tumblr pace at first, but now I needed more. Anyway I was typing a comment that got out of hand and thought it might be better for here 😂

But I had to stop and comment here (chapter 15) because omg Merula just let Jacob get away with torture. 😭 I hated him when he hit her and then she said she could never do it to him 💔

How dare he. She did not deserve it. And how dare she let him get away with it.

I was already miffed when he inmediately assumed the worst in Little Bird, but he was still simping hard as well at that point and I liked that. Go be a simp Jacob! Not a torturer.

Also I feel like I'm missing information. What was the betrayal? Why was he a prisoner? Why is she a deatheater if they are on the same side? What made him so mad? I looked through your other stories and couldn't find it. In English at least 😅

Sorry if these are a lot of questions. I have a lot of feelings. 😅 You have such a way of evoking emotions with your writing. I mean you had me laughing at Kettleburn, goosebumps for Tonks, crying for Badeea and Talbott. Ugh so many emotions.

I'll stop the comment here before I go on any further 😂

(If you get a notification about me following you. I followed too much. So I unfollowed many blogs and accidentally yours too.)

Hello, 🙂

No worries. Feel free to share your thoughts wherever you feel most comfortable. I'm flattered that what you've read here has made you want to know more and I'm happy to answer your questions. I'm sorry if everything wasn't clear when you read it (I guess it's the disadvantages of the limited POV and the fact that the chapters do not follow each other😅)

Jacob went undercover with the DE to spy on them, and then to kill Nagini on Snape's orders. Jacob and Merula, daughter of Death Eaters who does not denounce him because she is torn between her desire to reconnect with her parents and her own values, get closer during this period until they fall in love.

Alas! Jacob is discovered at the moment he was supposed to kill Nagini and the DEs want to question him about his motives - most of them are unaware that Nagini is a Horcrux - and about the presence of accomplices. In these circumstances, the Cruciatus Curse is usually used by the DEs on their prisoners. To avoid this and in the hope of having an opportunity to free him, Merula takes over the interrogation and inflicts various abuses on him, less terrible than the Cruciatus Curse but torture is still torture.

She plays her role of executioner so well that everyone believed her, even Jacob. And after hours, days, of mistreatment by the one he has grown to love, he feels betrayed and thinks only of revenge, hence his violent reaction when he is released. When Annie reveals that Merula could never have used the Cruciatus Curse on him because it is imperative to take pleasure in the suffering of one's victim in order to cast it, Jacob realises his mistake.

And if there's anyone in my HPHM universe who knows what it's like to do bad things for good reasons, it's Jacob so he goes back to Merula.

As for Merula, she knows what it's like to want revenge after a betrayal and she recognizes the ambiguity of her own actions. Moreover, torturing someone you love yourself in the hope of saving them takes a lot of guts, and now that Jacob has figured it out, he recognizes her value and offers her what Merula has always wanted: recognition. It gives her wings and encourages forgiveness.

Beyond their good intentions, they have done a lot of damage to each other but their relationship has never been and will never be a smooth one so... 😅

I hope this message answers your questions. If not, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. Thank you for your kind comment. 💙 I am very flattered to see such engaged readers.

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brick-a-doodle-do · 1 year

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For the other ask game

🎶

🌞

✨

🎨

🤗

😬

✅

You don't have to do all of them, there were just so many good ones

-Small brain anon

🎶 : do you listen to music while you write? what song have you been playing on loop lately?

ABSOLUTELY i do, i cannot write without music,, hHH i've been listening to one song in particular lately bc it's the one for the horror oneshot i was talking about, but for actual music my serenity playlist is taking up all of my time, also a playlist i found that just has arctic monkeys, cigarettes after sex & thenbhd !!

🌞 : do you have a preferred time of day to write?

yeee !! the night hours like 11 pm-2 am (i don't let myself write past 3 am UNLESS i am fully awake)

i also like writing as a pastime while i'm in the car, usually either really early in the morning or at night. so whenever i'm tired basically

✨ : give you and your writing a compliment. go on now. you know you deserve it. 😉

RAHH idkkk UHHH i feel like i've been getting better about accurate dialogue for people?? i struggled with it a LOT but over time it's gotten so much better

🎨 : how do you feel about fan art of your stories?

*shakes violently* I LOVE IT. SO MUCH. SO COOL !!!! honestly it's so weird to think that people will have so much brainrot over something that they create full-fledged ART. LIKE BRO????

🤗 : what advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

hMMM don't overthink ANYTHING, not dialogue, not "impressive" scenes, nothing. we are only here because the brainrot over our blorbos is just too much so we have to WRITE and READ in only fic. so any content is still so much content!

😬 : which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

ANY of my vore fics (maybe less of the panic-induced ones like the unofficial prologue to spy au orrrr idk anything like that but STILLLL). i can explain g/t and stuff cause yeah wtv size difference is a genre consumed by non-g/t fellows, but VORE?? the EATING OF A LIVE BEING??? it's harmless in reality but i get so awkward reading over a conversation on tiktok about vore and how vilely people react to it, i can't imagine people finding it,,,

✅ : what's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

i've answered this before but humans curling their hands around the edge of counters while looking at a borrower!! it just. UHHGHH i love the vibes of a human doing that,,,,

nice to see you around sb, thank you for the ask :]

// ask game !!

#brickquiries #brickquiries games #small brain anon #sb my beloved :]#tw vore mention

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