#but i kinda feel better after reading it?

[noellefan101]

How do the different yanderes "love" you? (plus some tropes(??) i feel like would fit them)

this was honeslty just practice, and it ended up turning into smt kinda decent, i dont love what ive written but i just needed to get our smt

i blame @fatuismooches for being lovely and having such good harbinger thoughts that they've taken over my mind (fuck you[said with affection])

Yandere! Childe, Scaramouche, Dottore(separate) x gn reader

Childe ("soft and sweet" x unloving and hates touch)

He just spoils you left and right, he feels a little bad when he sees the uncomfortable look in your eyes when he kisses you all over, or when he touches you too much. so he has chosen to spoil you rotten until you finally fall for him, or at least see the way he can take care of you and finally kiss him back.

[He loves you, and that should be known by now, so why do you force his hands to do this, "why cant you just love him like he is", those were the last words you heard before he brought something to your lips and made you drink something unknown]

You are incredibly lucky that the 11th Harbinger is this patient with you, but dont push it too much, he can go to more bloody measures of getting you to fall for him if he sees it's needed. dont worry he wont hurt you too much, he loves you too much to do that, but love is complicated and you cant always control whom you fall in love with, so just love him will you, darling?

after all he knows the aphrodisiac he gave you wont last forever, so it would be better to just fall for him manually, right?

Scaramouche (manipulative, powerful x easily manipulated, weak[...i didnt know what to do here lol])

He might seem like he doesn't love at all, but when you aren't being dragged around to missions and meetings, and all alone with him in your shared chambers, he loves to just hug you, maybe litter kisses on your neck and collarbone. you hated it at first, and you still kind of do, but you've long since gotten used to it all.

He show his love for you when he has his hands all over your body as you dress into the clothes he picked out for you. he cant keep himself off of your lovely body, but would kill if anyone even touch a strand of your hair.

But oh how could you try 'nd leave when this weak little puppet is crying in your arms every night, when he has nightmares about you leaving him, dying when he can't be there to protect you... oh how foolish you are, how stupid you must be to fall for such things, as he has long since abandoned the idea of ever letting go of you.

And he'll make sure you dont let go of him either, because you need him. after all he was the one to save you from danger when you were stupid enough to walk too far into a hilichurl camp. you need protection, and he's rgith here willing to give it for "free".

Dottore (crazy scientist and his crazy lover[aka yandere x yandere but worse])

You lvoe each other in ways normal human minds wouldn't dream of ever understanding. he smiled when you gave him a dead body for experimenting, and the worst part? you had the biggest grin on your face, and a massive amount of blood on your hands and clothes, much to the dismay of many onlookers.

And then there's the fact that neither of you even spare a glance at the amount of blood on the others' clothes, or at least it looks like you don't. but when you are in the privacy of your shared bedroom (though filled with dead onlookers in the closet) you reward each other for getting rid of anyone who dares to interrupt, or archons forbid break, the love you two have.

It has been made a daily occurrence for you both to randomly disappear from the building with a fatui agent, who had taken too much attention from the other, and then come back alone with bloodied hands, and being greeted by a two-minute-long kiss when opening the lap doors again.

just two crazy maniacs in love, awwww (if they arent wanted in at least 6 nations they need to be)

thx for reading whatever this is, luv ya -Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #gn reader #noelle´s maiden #yandere scaramouche #yandere #yandere dottore #yandere childe #yandere genshin x reader #dottore x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #this is just some random shit tbh

[leviackermansjewishwife]

Headcannon: Levi dealing with your self harm and eating disorders (massive trigger warning)

‼️Massive massive trigger warning, please if you can not handle these topics do not engage with this post! ‼️

I have been clean from sh for five years now, and clean from disordered eating and eating disorders for about three years now, and I remember when I was really struggling with these issues I would constantly read Levi headcannons and fics, and it would make me feel better, so now I want to write these, to see if it would make anyone else feel better! Though be aware I’m still getting used to writing headcannons so if they aren’t the best be aware. I am basing this off my own experiences, so if you don’t like how I characterize things, move on.

Self harm - cutting mostly implied

- If he catches you doing it, he slowly takes the weapon out of your hands, and kisses gently at your cheeks, especially if you’re crying.

- If he finds the scars he just stares at you, not really knowing how to handle it

- He doesn’t push you to talk about it, but if you ever want to, he is completely ready to listen.

- If you allow him too, he loves kissing among your scars.

- He removes all sharp things from your room, and he hides all the sharp things in his room, he doesn’t want to take any chances.

- If you ever have any urges, he talks you through them, or sometimes if you want to feel pain really badly, he will take out to the courtyard and train you in a fight.

- He mostly comforts you by distracting you from urges and pain, he’s not exactly great on comforting you through words but he tries his best.

- If you ever feel bad about wearing something that can show your scars, he encourages you to, and if someone has a problem with it, he’ll handle it.

- Ultimately he is the best help you could ever have in your life during this time.

Disordered eating and eating disorders:

- When he first sees that you avoid eating purposely, he’s a little confused. Not in a mean way, but growing up with so little food he’s confused on why someone would purposely avoid eating.

- If you ever get uncomfortable eating in front of other people, he eats with you in your room, or his office, which is the preferred spot to eat in.

- He starts brewing special tea for stomach cramps, and any other complications, he has a tea for that.

- If you suffer from bulimia (which is what I suffered from), he will constantly give you stuff to repair your throat, and stomach.

- If he ever catches you vomiting back up your food, he helps you get the last of it up, he holds back your hair, and he wipes off your face. But he doesn’t let you get off incredibly easy.

- He doesn’t let you binge so that you can’t vomit back up, he doesn’t let you be alone after you eat.

- He of course let’s you go to the bathroom alone, but if he hears the sound of vomiting he will rush in.

- He never presses you to talk, but he does eventually take you into his arms, and kinda begs what made you do this. He blames himself in a way, because he feels like a bad partner by not looking out for you more.

- But he doesn’t beg for your assurance, that it’s not his fault, he’s not a dick.

- When you tell him the reasoning, what ever it is, he just holds you. If someone made you feel this bad, that you had to resort to not eating or vomiting up your food, consider them dead and cold.

- On recovery, he doesn’t let you eat alone. No matter what you suffer from, he doesn’t want you to eat alone. So you don’t calorie restrict or so you don’t binge.

- He encourages you to eat better by talking about how beautiful your extra weight is, and loves leaving kisses along any parts of your body you consider “ugly”

- To help you recover he challenges you to eat certain foods, and is always there with you when you did it.

- No matter what he sticks by your side, and always reassures you you’re beautiful. 

#levi ackerman #attack on titan #tw self h4rm #tw eating issues #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman thoughts #levi ackerman x oc #levi aot #aot levi #levi snk #snk levi #levi shingeki no kyojin #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman x you #husband levi ackerman #levi ackerman imagine #levi angst

[tdlosk-confessions]

What do you think is one one of the most wholesome moments in the Saiki K anime?

Ooooo that's a difficult one. There are a lot of wholesome sweet moments it's kinda hard to choose

But I were to go off the top of my head I'd probably say one of the most wholesome moments to me is Kaidou reading out the birthday letter he wrote for Saiki during the Season 1 Finale episode

It's a bit sad they didnt know his actual birthday and instead thought his dad's was his but the fact Saiki didn't want to hurt their feelings by telling them (bittersweetish?)

But. Look at the letter:

"Dear Saiki, I know you'll think it's overdramatic of me to write you a letter but that's okay. You're a great friend who I share many precious memories with. I can't believe it's only been 6 months since we met at the start of the anime series. Anyway, thanks to you, I met everyone else and they brought joy to my life in so many ways too! I know it's sappy but it's true. It'd good to know you're always looking out for me, I wanna be a better person because of you. Thank you for being born.

- Happy Birthday from Kaidou"

LIKE. TELL ME THATS NOT THE MOST HEARTFELT MONOLOGUE IN THIS SERIES. It's genuinely so sweet

AND HE SMILES AT IT TOO!!!!!!!

"what a pain. guess i can't stop them after all." <- boy who totally can stop them but is choosing not to

OH ALSO kuniharus conversation with saiki too

Kuniharu: "Let's switch now, so you can have fun."

Kusuo: "Yeah, I'll pass. If I go down there I'll just kill the mood."

Kuniharu: "Who cares about that? Those kids like you Kusuo, and deep down you like them too. After all, you asked me to take your place so they wouldn't feel bad about getting your birthday wrong, right? But they didn't come to spend time with me. Even if the mood does change, I think they'd rather be with you. Go down there, son."

Kusuo: "...Who are you to give me advice?"

Kuniharu: "I'm your DAD."

Like just. Sobs. SOOOOOOOOBS

AND HES RIGHT TOO!!!! HES RIGHT!!!! Saiki does care about his friends even if he doesn't show it, and his friends appreciate him even if to them he's quiet and not as lively as his dad was acting to pretend to be him

The whole episode was good like wtf they made him a cake and make him a video birthday card like WHATA IM JUST. WOW.

sorry for the ramble but it's genuinely one of the most wholesome (and one of my favorite!) moments/episodes of the series!!!

TL;DR: kaidous birthday letter to saiki and kuniharu speech to saiki

#saiki k #not confessions #mod ash answers #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki k. #kuniharu saiki #saiki kuniharu #kusuo saiki #saiki kusuo #shun kaidou #kaidou shun #crushed! surprise party #saiki k anime #i hand typed all the quotes my hands are burning

[brainrot-of-a-thot]

fair warning: this is another, somewhat emotional, word vomit post.

please feel free to skip this if you aren’t interested in reading it; it’s okay, babes, I won’t be offended. I’m creating this post as a means of expressing my emotions and my feelings (and, blegh, how dare you babes make me feel those) and there was no way I couldn’t do it.

so, got kinda bored and decided to poke in on my analytics and —

um, what?

babes, this is within a week. my blog has been active for 8 days.

now, for a lot of writers (myself included) seeing these kind of numbers brings a sense of pride, giddiness, and recognition. and of course, those shiny little things are addictive fuel to us.

but these numbers also say something else to me — looking at these, all I can think is:

all together, five thousand people have taken the time to read a post from me; and that post made them feel something in such a way that they left a note on it.

now, maybe at face value, that doesn’t seem all that important. but from personal experience, I know that someone can read a post, like it, and never interact with it beyond that. they don’t leave any notes or comments — they just scroll on to the next.

and that’s perfectly okay! when writers publish things online, it’s for people to read — whether or not they leave recognition or love on it. I understand and accept this fact wholeheartedly.

but the fact that someone took the time and consideration to do so means so much to us as writers.

what it tells me is that my post — my little, more-likely-than-not self-indulgent fic positively impacted someone. even if for just a small snippet of time, my words were able to reach someone and offer them a sense of comfort. made them feel something, anything.

and that is the joy of writing, in my personal opinion.

having the ability to completely turn someone’s mood (maybe even day) around by doing something that you already enjoy, love and cherish doing? that’s fuckin’ sick.

to be able to offer comfort to someone who may be struggling, to be able to offer them a means of escape from the harshness of the world for a bit, all with the click of a button? even fuckin’ sicker.

babes, I enjoy writing more than any other hobby — but after interacting with all of you, I enjoy it even more. y’all have given me the warmest, cutest, most (awesomely) overwhelming reception that, honestly, it just blows my mind.

and all of your comments, all of your reblogs, all of your requests, suggestions, and general compliments make me feel like I’m on top of the world — and now, rather than writing with just joy, I write with joy and purpose.

not purpose in a sense that, “oh, I have all these followers and I have an obligation to deliver,” but purpose as in “I have all these amazing, unique, patient, beautiful individuals who genuinely love what I do, who find comfort in my literal hobby, who feel safe and included with me, and I want to keep offering them that” kind of purpose.

it’s such a beautiful thing.

I guess what I’m trying to say, without all ooey-gooey feelings involved, is that you babes have changed writing for me forever — and it’s for the better. you gave me a purpose, many friends, maybe even a fan base (I kinda hate saying that because it feels conceited) and I couldn’t be more grateful. none of this — my blog, my ability to reach others, my newfound enjoyment in writing, would have been possible without you babes. thank you, truly, from the very depths of my heart and soul.

stay beautiful, babes <3

[dairy-farmer]

I really do love Tim as a beta (tho he is always trans to me regardless). It irks me (when not done deliberately) when a charcter gets treated really badly until it's revealed that they were secretly an omega, and then all of a sudden they kinda get the love and societal role forced on them and suddenly becomes viable as a love interest. Like, betas deserve to be treated decently and be loved too! And omegas shouldn't have to put up with their shitty pack suddenly smothering them after years of neglect just because of their biology.

I am now inventing imaginary problems in your inbox, but maybe there are similar myths about betas like there is about masculinity. "betas don't need pack like alphas and omegas", like "men dont need to express their emotions like women".

Maybe stemming from that betas don't produce a very strong scent. You can smell if an A or O are stressed/angry/upset because they stink up the whole room, but you'd pretty much have to stick your nose in a betas neck to read them like that. But obviously that's because betas are the calm and stable sex. They just don't feel things as strongly as alphas and omegas!

Maybe in a world where betas are the minority research about beta health hasn't been prioritized. Some theorize that betas evolved just as extra hands for childrearing and keeping the peace between A's and O's, and to in a pinch help sire or carry children if the pack lacks more suitable members (though betas with testicles usually have a lower sperm count than alphas, and betas with wombs are comparatively less fertile, need longer breaks between pregnancies and are more likely to die in childbirth than omegas).

How being packless or neglected affects betas differently is a relatively new field of study only a few decades old, so society in general still has a lot of biases.

Anyways Tim suffers those more subtle symptoms of pack neglect. Maybe Bart who's from the future knows more about betas (maybe betas eventually became the majority?), and they're able to find a beta specialist for him.

This was kind of a rant going nowhere with no plot lol

the angst of betas being widely neglected by their packs and society to the point that it started impacting their evolution, your point of 'betas with testicles usually have a lower sperm count than alphas, and betas with wombs are comparatively less fertile, need longer breaks between pregnancies and are more likely to die in childbirth than omegas' makes SO much sense as these being the consequences of chronic and generational pack neglect. like babies will die if they're not handled, if they're just deprived of human contact and for betas? maybe the same thing applies. all their chronic illnessness have been bred into them essentially by being the dynamic that is the most neglected and discarded. all betas just assume that everyone is enduring the same symptoms of pack neglect and since research is still small no one has realized this is a health epidemic that is human caused. but bart being from the future is able to recognize how tim is suffering and becomes one who tries to help him get better 🥺🥺🥺

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

[judgeanon]

So about that DETECTIVE COMICS #1084...

As a big Shiva fan, I really, really liked that. Maybe my favorite issue with her since Hill's Outsiders run. I made a thread in another site about it but I liked that issue so much that I'm gonna take a sec to repost it here too, so hit that jump if you wanna read an in-depth analysis of 'Tec #1084... or at least, its backup feature!

I'm kinda kidding, I actually enjoyed the main story too. I liked seeing Bruce and Talia reunited in a very touching moment of romance that gives way to grim tension as the unfortunate complications of the strange and violent world they live being to slowly rip them apart once more... and then Shiva happens. For one panel and in a flashback but it was really fun to see Talia call her a friend for a bunch of reasons.

The most serious one is that I genuinely think that, given enough room to work with, Talia and Shiva could be a very compelling pair. Shiva is known to be interested in people who are in a state of flux, who find themselves in crossroads trying to figure out where their true path really lies. And Talia, for better or worse, has been there for, like... years now. I've always thought that Talia, endlessly torn between her love for Bruce, her love for her father, and her love for the world, might even find something tempting about Shiva's absolute detachment, about her comparative freedom from all connections. Which would be fun to explore.

The other reason comes from the issue's backup story by Alex Paknadel and Robbi Rodriguez, which I didn't expect at all but ended up being a huge treat for me, since it aligned so much with a lot of what I consider the most interesting elements and perspectives in Shiva and Cass' relationship.

Right from the start, we have Shiva being able to read Cass and figure out what's wrong with her just from a couple of fighting moves, which I absolutely adore. What looks like a fight is really just them having a conversation, at least for Shiva, who is very quickly able to get at the deeper emotions troubling Cass and holding her back.

(Also, that one panel of Snake Style ThodThodThod's really made me smile. I love the idea of Shiva using stranger, more exotic martial arts than anyone else, especially in Gotham)

On my first read I wasn't really onboard with Shiva's words about not killing Cass, like there was something about them that didn't quite click, but after mulling them over for a while I feel like they can be read as Shiva intentionally picking at Cass' perfectionist nature and competitive spirit. It's less "I spared you and now you owe me" and more "You trying to be Batman makes you suck, here's why, now be better." But I might be reaching a bit there.

Still, it does work, which I really enjoy. I like Shiva being able to prod Cass into reaching deep within her, figuring out what's wrong and improving herself. And we get a lot of that in the next couple of pages, where Cass grapples with the Azmer while also grappling with her own nature. Cass' training with David is an extremely defining element of her character. It's her instincts, her mother tongue, her main method of expression, but it's also something that causes her a ton of inner turmoil, due to the intentions of that training.

Cass is presented in this story as someone inwardly ashamed by her nature, worried of the assassin skills that are weaved into her very nature and what that may say about her. Of course, this is something that Cass has been through before and has developed quite a bit, maybe even outgrown but with Batman dead and gone, it probably makes sense for her to lapse a bit back into self-loathing without that symbol to guide her and with her failure at trying to emulate it. Which I think is a very human thing to happen. Your worst traits are never really gone, and tend to slip back into you when you're at a low point.

Which is why I really like the last few panels of this story.

Although first, Shiva calling Talia an "associate" makes me giggle a bit. C'mon Shivs, don't be so tsun-tsun... anyway.

On the most basic level, we have Shiva offering Cass some solid advice that ties the whole story in a neat bow. But it takes on an even stronger quality when you remember this is Lady Shiva talking here. Shiva, who we know wants Cass to be more than just a Bat. Shiva, who understands the strength that comes from finding your own path and following it. Shiva, who maybe more than anyone knows exactly how strong Cass can be once she embraces all aspects of her own nature and finds harmony in herself.

From almost any other character, that last phrase would just be a nice little canned moral. From Shiva's lips, it carries the weight of decades of character work for both Cass and Shiva. It's a solid ending that's elevated by the history between its characters. It hits SO many of the notes I want to see, the things that I think make Shiva's relationship with Cass genuinely compelling. Shiva being able to "read" Cass through a fight, her wanting Cass to be herself more than anything else, and all of it unhindered by any kind of easy moral judgment from Cass or the story itself.

Shiva is not presented as a monstrous villainess who Cass must reject, but as her own character with her own story that happpens to cross with Cass' for a moment. And from Shiva, there's no berating Cass for being a hero or choosing not to kill. There is berating, sure, but it works because it speaks to something a lot more personal for both characters than generic notions of good or evil. It speaks about Cass' need to find and be herself and stick with it no matter what.

(Which this arc also touched upon a couple months ago in 'Tec #1082, which very elegantly made it clear that Cass had the heart of a hero before she even knew what a Batman was -- an incredibly powerful statement made in just two captions)

So this is a story that hits pretty much all the right notes for me. I wish it would hit them a bit longer, or in a few different ways that didn't involve Batman, but it's just a perfect example of most of the elements that I think make this relationship worth exploring. Even the fact that this makes it the sixth major appearance of Lady Shiva in a row that is ultimately dedicated to her relationship with Cass doesn't bother me because this is precisely how I want this relationship to be written. If they were all this good, I wouldn't even mind.

And on top of all that, this issue is also a good example of something I'm always thinking about: tempting as it is, you don't need to make every Shiva appearance be huge and bombastic and lead to some massive story arc. It can be something small but meaningful, a quick appearance with some very choice words, Shiva walking into an ongoing story to, in her own way, help others get through an inflection point.

If I had to say something I disliked about it, I do think it's a little blunt in its themes and execution. Paknadel has Shiva quite literally spell out the problem for Cass, which I guess is fine given how short the story is, but it does lose a bit of elegance because of it. Still, it was a great little treat and while I know Ram's 'Tec run is coming to its end, I do hope he'll find a place for one last bit of Shiva in it.

And I also hope he gets to write her for more than just one wordless balloon because Ram V's Lady Shiva is a dream book in my book.

#DC #Comics #Batman #Lady Shiva #Batgirl #Cassandra Cain #Alex Paknadel #Robbi Rodriguez #Ram V

[cinnbar-bun]

um um i've never requested stuff b4 so i hope this is ok and also isn't too vague / silly of a prompt ;_;...

may i request hcs for doppio x a reader who's a total dog-dad/pet parent?

like brings their dog everywhere that's not dangerous, treats them better then they treat themselves, genuinely considers murder if someone even makes a tiny negative joke abt their dog etc 😭... (or maybe just hcs abt how doppio would feel arnd a reader who has a big dog in general:3 whatever works better for u !!!) /nf

— @child-ofdust (i hope i didnt type too much help) 🐾

A/n: YEAH OF COURSE DEAR HERE U GO!!! I changed it up a bit so it's kinda a combination of both your ideas so hope that's okay <3

Doppio w/ an S/O who has a dog

Notes: GN!Reader, Doppio so pssttt there's kinda a spoiler for Part 5 do not read if you haven't seen it, minor swearing, but pretty funny and fluffy

WC: ~.6k

Doppio hasn’t had much experience with dogs. Yes, he’s seen dogs before, occasionally pet one a few times, perhaps got unlucky to be chased by many of them. He was initially worried how your dog would react to him because he’s worried your dog will hate him and run after him. 

Your dog was actually pretty kind to him, which made him so happy and relieved. Doppio is crying tears of joy that your dog does not want to maul him like a chew toy. He shouldn’t have been that surprised, honestly, but it was still a welcome treat for Doppio. 

He sees how much you love your dog and he finds it really sweet! Doppio does like to care for smaller animals and insects, and seeing that you care for your dog makes him feel better. He feels happy knowing you treat your dog with respect and tons of love. 

He would be nervous initially to care for your dog because he doesn’t want to make you or your dog uncomfortable. He’s kind of like… ‘am I allowed to touch your dog? Can I pet them? Can I brush them?’ 

Please help him, he’s never done this before and he’s very anxious. 

Doppio is acting extra gentle with your dog because he hasn’t yet gauged what is an appropriate amount of force needing to brush or clean your dog. After you teach him and get him used to it a few times, Doppio gets the hang of it and can do it on his own. 

He’s not jealous of your dog, he’s not that kind of guy. Again, he really cares for some animals and your dog is a sweetie pie. You love your dog so much, and Doppio loves you very much, so of course he’d love your dog! 

He kinda sees your dog as like… your child? In a weird way? He’s just like yep, this is my beloved and this is our dog <3 I love my family <3 

And unlike a certain other man who shall not be named he does not abandon his family <3

He has so much fun playing with you and your dog. Especially if your dog likes to jump on him and snuggle him he loves it so much!!! Fluffy attack he’s laughing so hard until there are tears pouring down his face. 

Also, he takes his dog duties so seriously. If you ask him to walk the dog or give the dog a bath, Doppio is preparing like he’s going to war. He’s so focused and determined and nothing will stop him from caring for your dog. Absolutely nothing can break his concentration and so help him if anything dares to interrupt or prevent him from-

Torurururururu!

He’s quickly picking up a dog bone and straight up just YELLS at Diavolo. 

“What the HELL do you want? Huh? I’m walking my dog! Don’t you know how to time shit correctly? I’M BUSY!!!!” 

Doppio is so angry at Diavolo for calling him at these times, he just gets incredibly frustrated at him for interrupting his time with you and your cute dog. 

After he gets off the “phone” he needs lots of snuggles and kisses from you and your dog or else he might pop a blood vessel. 

Hilarious idea but Diavolo telling Doppio what to do with your dog whenever Doppio gets confused or is unsure of what do. 

“Ah, damn, what is the dog food we get again?” He says at the store. “The blue one.” “This one?” “Yeah. That one.” “Thanks, boss.”

#x reader #reader insert #jjba #jojo #jjba x reader #jojo x reader #jojo part 5 #jojo vento aureo #doppio vinegar #doppio vinegar x reader #vinegar doppio x reader

[perchingominouslysmwh]

#this #is not the usual kinda fic i'd read but #honestly #I have no words #just #an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia #and some things that punched me right in the existential crisis #and the whole growing up thing #like oh gosh #i don't even know where to begin with this #but it was so so good #but i kinda feel better after reading it? #the whole deciding your own future vs fate thing #and the way everything comes down to the choices you make #but you don't have to overthink them #just...accept them as they are i guess #and it got me thinking about being more honest with yourself- cuz you can always tell when you're lying to yourself #and accepting it is just- a huge relief #its so much easier than breaking your own heart all the time but absolutely #terrifying #at the same time #gah #and the maybe you don't have to cut off everyone who cares about you just cause you don't feel like you deserve it #maybe them caring about you isn't your choice at all #also yellow being their saving grace- the way they were the the light for each other during each other's darkest hours?

[aanthonyvb]

I love your Jekyll so so much!! Could you please draw him having a diner? 👉👈

Nice dinner with your boyfriend after 30 years of repressed feelings

#I’ve just read an awesome fanfic and I’m full of love for these two so dinner with Utterson it is #nothing better than drawing something soft and happy after reading through fic full of repressed feelings #also I have no idea where I’m going with Utterson #first time drawing this guy I have no idea how he will develop #kinda reminds me of Jude Law’s Watson #gabriel utterson #henry jekyll #jekyll and hyde #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #jekyll and hyde fanart #henry jekyll fanart

[crimeronan]

starting to realize that whenever i find myself going "i am too sick and burnt-out and tired and shitty and foggy to write anything ever again," the actual solution to my problems is Not to stop writing forever. it is instead just. to sit down and write a horror story. whatever horror happens to spring onto the page. bc there will always be Some kind of horror story ready to pour forth. easy as breathing. it's always there. like yeah girl you ARE tired. it's because there's horror in you. you listen to unbelievably gruesome horror-tragedy fiction podcasts to lull yourself to sleep bc they are Genuinely Comforting, of fucking COURSE your burnout self-care is gonna involve writing horror. "why can't i write all the NICE stories that people actually LIKE" girl you CAN. eventually. but you have GOT to puke the black sludge first i'm fucking BEGGINGGGGGG,

#autoimmune tag #horror #this becomes extremely funny though because i often dont know exactly what shape The Ugly Feelings are gonna take #they just kinda come out and once i've written them they're gone from my brain and i feel better. exactly like vomiting #then after a day or two away i go back and READ the story and i'm like #JESHSSUSUA FUCKING. JESUS. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. THIS IS FUCKED UP. THIS IS WHAT I WAS FEELING???? #yeah bitch!! you felt fuckin Bad!! VIEW IT!! #toh memory photos real except it's me with my insane psychological horror drafts like 'who wants to diagnose me'

[pastafossa]

I'm not sure if this was already asked, but if Jane had skipped town when she had planned to, would Matt ever forgive her? How would he react?

Ooooh, now this is an interesting question.

I definitely think there's a small part of him that never would have forgiven her for it, especially since he'd already had a few vulnerable moments with her where he'd opened up and she, seemingly, had opened up with him, too. But mostly, it would have simply... broken that part of him that felt hope, that felt that maybe, just maybe he deserved to have someone care about him, or even love him one day, because he'd have read her letter - the kinder one, the gentler one, the one that said without saying, 'I could see myself loving you if I stayed.'

Ironically, despite her intentions - that she leave him a kinder letter, one that was honest and told him how much she cared for him - reading that letter after dhe left would have broken an entirely different part of him.

The loss of her, the idea that he'd been left alone again by someone who might have loved him, would have been all the proof he needed that he was a fuckup, that everyone in his life that he cared about was destined to leave him. He'd spiral, spiral right down into the decision that all he could do was leave them first before he hurt them so bad or put them in so much danger that they left him behind and, subconsciously, before they hurt him like the loss of his parents had, like Stick and Elektra and now Jane had by walking away. He'd retreat in on himself, curling up tight around that hurt and hiding behind the ferocity, darkness, and rage of the Devil because that seemed like the only way he could protect himself from being abandoned again when he wanted so, so desperately to have just ONE person who might... love him. It would have been a ticket to the S3 mindset basically, but because Karen and Foggy at that point didn't know about Daredevil, and because he hadn't met Maggie yet, no one really would have been in a decent position to help drag him up out of that spiral.

And Stick knew that, which is exactly why he tried to talk Jane into leaving, and why he gave her that letter to ensure she truly broke the more gentle, tender part of Matt. He knew this would push Matt into the mindset Stick wanted: that Matt was meant to be alone, that there was nothing for him but his 'duty', and there was certainly no room for friends, for lovers, or family.

One day it's possible he would have pulled himself out of it, and by then he likely would have forgiven her - either because he recognized she ran for fear of Cyrus, or because he simply blamed himself instead of her - but either way, if that domino had tipped, a part of him never really would have recovered or felt safe reaching for that kind of gentle connection again.

#the red thread #it's not something i ever confirmed in canon but in my head that's basically what would have happened #he'd just experienced Claire kinda backing away from friendship and her being hurt 'because of him' so he was in a VERY vulnerable position #which he shared with Jane. like he OPENED UP to her and he was finally feeling like... accepted and cared for #and so when you consider where he was mentally/emotionally #and his prior history #it would have taken him a looong time to claw his way up out of that darkness if he ever did #and even if he did he'd always have a wound there #one that never really healed over #especially if he'd read her letter that explained her feelings for him #because that letter and what happened after in the warehouse was sort of the 'soft' beginning of their real relationship #I intentionally set it up so there's no real point you can look at and go 'ah it started here'. it was a gradual thing. a blur #but that moment was foundational where that blur really started #and so yeah if that moment had gone the OTHER way #...poor matt #basically #(not that jane would be much better off but that's another story since she'd have been captured by cyrus without matt's help later)

[bunnihearted]

📓🐰🖊️💭

#i need to like actually remember that i have my beloved blog.... #like im lonely yes. i dont have anyone who wants to listen to me talk about things or someone to share things with #not the deeper stuff but not everyday mundane casual stuff either #it's childish but i have this need to show someone pics of flowers or birds i see or new things i get #i can share all of that with my blog!!!! bc after all my blog is my best friend the loml and has been with me for several years T-T #my blog is always here to listen and to be there for me :') #if i need to rant about a game i didnt like or a show i love or the book im reading i have my blog!! #if i need or want to show things i have my blog!!!! #my blog is my best friend and sure that's sad and since *it* doesnt fulfill human connection i still feel a bit hollow #but it still is smth! and i still get to share with the universe kinda ^-^ #plus it's better to use my blog because even when i do have someone to talk to #i dont like bothering them with the burden on my existence or having to listen to me #if i post im not forcing anyone to read or listen ^-^ #i can post what i want bc my blog is always always here for me and it wants to listen to me 💓💓

[chibishortdeath]

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

#text post #incoherent rambling #project update #game project #I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too #It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know? #I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult #either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about #which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀 #or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague #truly a balancing act writing is #kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members #which makes things both more and less difficult??? #on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔 #I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary #the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film #funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg #but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it #still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason #I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning #ugh writing is HARD #but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles #I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo #and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring #I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums #the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age #anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this #hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀

[catastrxblues]

hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters

#bridge to terabithia #how am i supposed to recover #i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess #i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean #i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now #i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts #and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t #because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me #and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing #so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah #my eyes feel so weird right now #also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case) #i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum #and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!! #and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!! #i like my ending better they really should change it #but no all and all the end was really beautiful #even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said #yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3 #i’m not sure what this is #but glad i could get it off my chest #let’s see how to tag how to tag #movies #just #childhood #whatever <3 #nadirants

[vse-kar-vem]

how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔 #if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it) #i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable! #fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom) #i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me ! #sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭 #vee rambles

[girl-bateman]

Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all #literally my soul is gone or something #i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed #which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually. #ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better #alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off #like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot #like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy #moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously #but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends #i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help #idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho #like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me ! #so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback #kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk #it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore #but who knows 🤷‍♀️ #there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol #that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown #like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way #and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever #and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality #plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good #but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you #but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !