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aprilthearcher · 3 months

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me and you... were meant to be.

[remus lupin x f!reader] [platonic james potter x f!reader]

slytherin!reader (because i myself am one). use of (y/n) (though i tried my best to not overuse it)

angst, but happy ending. remus' insecurities get in the way of your fresh relationship. 3k words.

i haven't written for remus for a long, long time so i tried to do my best because i love him to pieces and recently i've been experiencing a remus lupin era so... here it is. also, that spell she uses to protect her home... i've no idea if it exists, i just liked it.

english is not my first language, so there could be some mistakes. pictures are not mine.

thank you for reading!

i wrote this while listening to "Don't Delete the Kisses" by Wolf Alice and "What if I Love You" by Gatlin.

“What if you and I… What if we were never meant to be?”

“What are you saying, Remus?”

“I'm saying that I don't think we… I don't think it’s good for us to keep seeing each other.”

“But, but why? We are so good right now, we… I’m trying here, Remus, but I don't get it. Why would you do this?”

“I've just told you, we are not meant for each other. You… you des…” He stopped mid sentence. “I don't see you like that anymore, I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise.”

Now, on top of a bus that would drop her off a couple of blocks from her flat, she couldn’t recall a single moment in their short relationship that could’ve propelled something like this. They were good, really good. After dancing around each other for so long during their Hogwarts years, they had finally admitted their feelings one summer afternoon while looking at the sun go down and the moon rise up. Four months later, he was ending it. Salazar, could he have been high? She knew sometimes the boys would smoke those muggle herbs Marlene would bring them, overcharging them of course, but he had never said something so… heartbreaking under their influence. No, he couldn’t have been high, he would become even touchier when he’d smoke some, ignoring his friend’s presence and delighting in the passionate, even primal, effect they’d produce; the lightheaded feeling that allowed him to relax and run his fingers through her arms, her hands, her neck and jaw…

She pressed the palm of her hands against her eyes when they started to water for the fifth time that evening after leaving Dorcas’ apartment complex. Was he so desperate to get rid of her that he couldn’t even wait to do it at home? What would her great-grandmother think of her if she saw her like this? “Crying over a half-blood, a HALF-BREED, you are nothing but a blood traitor. You’ve tainted our legacy, you and your good-for-nothing parents, you are no more worthy than those mudbloods you hang round, affiliating yourself with muggles, living a life surrounded by them." Why did she keep caring about what she would think? She had never shared her views on blood purity and how any wizard or witch that wasn’t part of the Sacred Families would be undeserving of its magic. She hated people like her grandmother. She hated that the old hag had tried to drill these thoughts into her head since a very young age. She was glad she had died and she was glad her parents were nothing like their parents, so why was she remembering her now? Perhaps it was the fear of losing her entire friend group that made her sick mind resort to conjuring the old witch’s voice in her head.

She truly hoped for her great grandmother to be rolling in her grave at the sight of one of her descendants crying over a werewolf and the possibility of losing her entire friend group made up of blood traitors, half-bloods, and muggleborns.

She knew they weren’t like that, that they wouldn’t isolate her for something like this. Merlin, they didn’t even know, at least until tonight, of their relationship! Though she was sure it wouldn’t take long for them to figure it out after how she had left in such an abrupt manner, without saying goodbye and barely making it to the door without the tears falling down her cheeks. She had left the task of explaining everything to Remus.

“Lady, this is the last stop!” The bus driver called out from the front of the vehicle.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck Remus Lupin for breaking her heart, for making her cry and making her miss her bus stop. Fuck him for making her feel so in love she left her guard down, fuck him for assuring her that he could trust him.

Although she had planned to take the muggle bus to get her mind off things and not get home immediately — for she was sure her lonely flat would make her feel worse, for she was sure there was one of Remus’ sweater idle placed on the back of an armchair she was hoping to return tonight after he’d accompanied her home —, she had not anticipated missing her stop and having to walk ten or so blocks home. It was not that she felt unsafe wandering through London this late, but she just felt emotionally exhausted.

She almost jogged all the way home, not wanting to encounter any trouble on her way home for she was not in the right state of mind for fighting anyone, muggle or not. Though, perhaps, the rush of adrenaline that would come from a brawl would bring her back to life, a little at least.

She’d taken two steps into the hallway when she saw the light coming from her flat. Stopping on her tracks, she got her wand out of her leather holster strapped in her left shoulder and approached her door. Good thing she had opted to climb the stairs instead of apparating inside; if she were to be ambushed, she wouldn’t have had any time to prepare.

With the whisper of an incantation the door opened slowly. For a moment, she forgot about Remus and the only thing on her mind was to find out who was inside her home. Her mind was reeling with ideas. Death eaters.

Death eaters. Death eaters. Death eaters.

But how? She had secured the place with some, if not all, of the best protective spells. Dorcas had helped her set them up. The locks were unbreachable, as well as the magical barriers protecting the walls from all sides, there were only two people that could apparate inside, her and…

“Prongs?”

She had chosen James as the only other person to be able to apparate inside her home. The spell was infallible and it had taken them several months of hard work, but it was worth it since not even someone who had induced the polyjuice potion, impersonating James, could get in.

She saw him pacing round her living room, his fingers twirling his wand in the air, a trick she had seen muggle musicians do when playing the drums. He stopped once he saw her, quickly coming to wrap one arm around her frame while the other pushed the door closed. The hiss of the invisible sigils increased for a second.

“I thought something had happened to you on the way home, you took so long. Why did you take so long? I was worried sick.”

“Merlin, James, the baby is making you act just like your mother.”

“Shut up, I was genuinely worried. Was about to go searching for you.”

“I took the bus but missed my stop, so I had to walk.”

He nodded, relaxing a bit now that he saw his best friend was okay. Physically, at least. Her emotions were still all over the place, her heart had calmed down and decided to break again after realising there were no intruders in her home.

“What happened back then, dove? With Remus? You, you just run away.”

“I think you know what happened, James.” She said, while hanging her coat in the rack and taking out her boots. She knew he knew, he wouldn’t have left Dorcas’ flat without an explanation from Remus after seeing her so distressed.

James sighed. Even though her own feelings were messed up, she could still realise this was a difficult position for James, and the rest of them, to be in. (Y/N) and James had been friends since they were young, younger than now at least, knowing each other because their parents introduced them the summer before beginning their third year at Hogwarts. She was a Slytherin thus making it hard for the boy to trust her, even at that age, but one stern look from his mother Euphemia had the boy overcoming his prejudice against her in a heartbeat. It had been quite impossible to separate them since then, which meant introducing her to the rest of his friends. Sirius had been apprehensive, Peter quite terrified… Remus… Remus had been intrigued, you could say. All of his previous interactions with Slytherins hadn’t been pleasing, but this was the girl he had Transfiguration with, who would raise her hand faster than anyone and answer correctly, getting all the spells right on her first try. This was the girl he had glanced at maybe once — he definitely did more than glance — at the library, carrying way too many books for her on one hand while the other, holding her wand, pointed to the floating pile of heavier tomes behind her.

Remus is also one of his best friends, the four of them are like brothers. She couldn’t deny she was quite surprised to see James here, attempting to comfort her instead of him.

He still had his arm around her shoulders when they started to walk towards the kitchen. If James intended to stay then she was in dire need of some tea to pass the bad taste the fight had left in her mouth. He would want to hear her side of the story. Turning to light up the room, she saw pints of red covering James’ knuckles. She disengaged from his hug, positioning her body in front of his then grabbed his hand, harshly. She heard him wince. His eyes scrunched and his lips closed in a thin line, she knew. He knew that she knew.

“Did any of his teeth fall out?” She pressed her fingers to his bloodied knuckles.

“No, but… Ow! Would you stop that?” He tried to release his hand from his grasp, she tightened her hold.

“I don’t need you defending me, James.”

“You’re my best friend, of course I’ll…”

“He’s your best friend too!” She yelled. Salazar, she was pathetic. Defending the boy who crushed her heart no more than two hours ago. “I don’t want you fighting my battles for me, James, especially when it’s against one of your friends.”

“I’m sorry, dove, you are like a sister to me. I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s not like he did anything wrong though. He… he is allowed to change his mind. I - I was the one to get too caught up. I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have…”

“I didn’t punch him because he ‘changed his mind’, dove. I punched him because he was lying about that.”

“James…”

“No, no, listen. Listen to me.” He grabbed her face, wiping the new set of tears that had begun to cascade down her face. “I know Remus and I know that he loves you, that he’s loved you since you jinxed one of the fourth years after bad mouthing Peter, perhaps even before that. He’s not telling the truth and he’s pushing you away because he’s terrified of how much he loves you. That’s why I hit him, thought it’d make him realise he cannot lose you.”

“Salazar, you really are your mother.” James laughs at your comment, heart soaring with desperation at the new turn of events. He knew something more was going on with Remus and (Y/N) as of the last couple of months because James Potter was observant and this new bond didn’t look like the shy glances they’d throw from across the Hall during their Hogwarts’ years. These were slow, delicate touches; soft smiles and bodies that would look to be close to each other every chance they got. So he wanted nothing more than for his friends to be happy; although he should’ve seen Remus’ self-sabotaging tendencies coming because he knew all of his friends like the back of his hand, he didn’t. He blamed the uprising war for that. He blamed it for everything, from clouding Remus’ judgement more than ever to forcing him and Lily, and consequently the rest of the Order, to be constantly on the lookout for danger. None of them had had a good night’s sleep for months now.

“You should still apologise, you’ve been friends for years and I…”

Rapid, loud knocks against her front door interrupted (Y/N). She and James looked at each other, he had a hunch of who it might be but getting his wand at the ready didn’t hurt. (Y/N) had the same idea, she started to move towards the entrance with her arm up, wand always pointing at the door.

“Who is it?” The banging stopped.

“It’s … It’s me, Rem - Remus. I - I.” She could hear him shuffling outside, as if he were moving round the place, jumping from one foot to another; he probably was. “It's really me, I - I got you that black leather holster for your wand as a gift. You bought the rug on your bedroom floor in a flea market last month, you said it reminded you of the one you had back home. Your favourite colour is red and you hated yourself for it because James always joked how you should’ve been in…”

“Gryffindor.” By the time Remus had been at the end of his ranting, she had unlocked the door and opened it all the way, hitting the rag on the way.

“Yeah, but green always looked better on you.” Remus looked at her face, he could see the trail of black makeup going from her eyes to her chin. She must’ve felt his stare because in a swift movement she got rid of the marks, or at least she tried to. It smudged a bit more than he knew she would’ve preferred.

“You’ve got blood on your face.” She said.

“I know, I - I tripped down the…” Remus tried to explain while cleaning the blood with the back of his sweater. She could’ve told him she’ll clean it up for him with the touch of a finger. She didn’t.

“You don’t have to cover for him, I know James punched you.”

“Damn right I did.” She heard from inside the flat. James was leaning against the arch that separated the living room from the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest and a look that must’ve frightened Remus because of how he bent his head down and then looked up again, nodding as to show he’d understood his lesson. (Y/N) stared at James with an eyebrow raised, he sighed and then said: “I’m going to get Lily back at Dorcas’. See you, dove.” With a crack in the air, James disappeared.

“What I said, earlier, it - it wasn’t true.” Remus began once they had settled on her velvet green sofa. She had found it on the street, a bit tattered but nothing magic couldn’t repair. “I’m an idiot but I’m just so scared. So frightened that.. that what I - what I am will put a higher target behind your back. I’m a half-breed, a monster, and people like me … No, no let me finish. People like me don’t deserve someone as pure as you so I thought…”

“You thought pushing me away, breaking my heart, would solve any of that?”

“Well, yes! If I’m not putting you in danger during the full moon, then I’m putting you in danger because they - they won’t hesitate to come after you if you are with me.”

“You bloody git. They are after all of us, even if we aren’t together, they’ll still come after me…”

“You don’t know that.”

“What are you saying, Remus? I’m a blood traitor in their eyes, my best friend is a muggleborn. My own great-grandmother would put me on the ground if she could see me right now so don’t try to make me understand you with this bullshit. You may be scared of love, of loving me, but I’m not. I love you and I’ve loved you for so long that I’m not going to give you up, not at times like this. I don’t care that you’re a werewolf, I’ve never cared. And I get that it’s hard for you, that you feel guilty when we try to alleviate your pain, but I’m fucking exhausted that you think I won’t be able to handle it, to handle you and your transformations.” She inched her face closer to his, a hand moving up to cradle his jaw while the other grabbed his hand. “I chose to be with you, knowing full well that it wouldn’t be easy and not because you’re a werewolf but because you are an insufferable arsehole who doesn’t let people in, who is afraid of hurting others while not realising that he’s still hurting them when he pushes them away.”

He didn’t respond, he just leaned further on the touch of her hand. It grounded him. How was he able to think, even for a second, that he would survive without her light-feathered touch, without her hands running through his hair or his arms that would give him goosebumps?

“I thought that you had grown tired of me or that you had never loved me the way I loved you. That you’d thought I wasn’t loyal to the Order, that somehow I would…”

“No, no, no. I’d never, (Y/N), truly, I’d never. I got lost, I- I thought someday you would realise how you had ruined your life by spending it alongside… me. You could do so much better, and yet…”

“I’m sure there are men out there, wizards or not, that are less frightened at the idea of love than you are, Remus. But they’re surely not you, because they’re not as funny, or smart, or witty, or sensible, or great as you. I’d probably get bored of them within the hour and then I’d be lost because you wouldn’t be beside me. The only man I want is you. No one else. You drill that into your head or next time you try to pull a stunt like this I’ll kill you.”

“Got it.” He whispered before leaning in even closer, his lips barely brushing hers. He wanted to be sure she was okay with this; he wanted to be absolutely sure he hadn’t completely messed up their relationship but for that he needed her to confirm it; to accept his apology. She did, sealing their lips desperately, trying to transmit everything she had just said but with a kiss. She had been so terrified that the only way to have him in her life would be through meetings to discuss missions and war plans; that she would never get to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him after a rough full moon again. “You wouldn’t actually kill me, right?”

“No, but I would tell James to punch ten times harder.”

“Please don’t, he’s got a sick hook.”

“Then you better behave.”

She kissed him again, deeper this time. Their lips moved synchronised, familiar with each other; her hands travelled all the way up to his hair while his circled around her waist, bringing her closer. Chest against chest, with her legs propped up into his lap, they stayed like that for a long time before Remus laid her down on the sofa.

#remus lupin #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x f!reader #remus lupin x slytherin!reader #slytherin!reader #marauders #marauders x reader #marauders x you #marauders fanfiction

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woso-dreamzzz · 4 months

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Pregnant II

Hardersson x Baby!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Pernille's pregnancy

During the first month, you're about the size of a poppy seed.

Pernille's fine on her own during this period. She has a little bit of spotting and feels a bit more tired than usual but she's mainly okay. Since the announcement, her teammates have been more careful on the pitch with her.

Everyone knows that the risk of miscarrying is higher before the third month so they all take care not to knock into her as much or, at least, to not hit her head on.

Magda, it seems, is the only one completely stressed out of her mind. She sends regular texts to check in with Pernille. She calls every day (once in the morning and once in the evening).

If she didn't have commitments in England then Pernille's sure that Magda would have flown over daily.

By the second month, you're the size of a kidney bean.

The symptoms have gotten a little worse by now. The tiredness has been replaced by sore breasts and the spotting by morning sickness. It's still manageable and Pernille doesn't even think to tell Magda until she misses a morning call in favour of hunching over the toilet and spewing out her guts.

"Her heart's developing now," Magda's voice comes through the phone, echoing around the tiled walls of Pernille's bathroom," And her brain too. Do you think she'll be smart? I think she'll be smart."

"We don't know if it's a girl yet, Magda," Pernille says. She's still leaning against the toilet but Magda's voice is safe and soothing.

"I know it's a girl," Magda replies, an air of finality in her tone," A little Pernille."

"She's your egg. She'll be a little Magda."

Pernille can hear the smile in Magda's voice as she replies," I made you admit she's a girl."

At the end of month three, you're the same size as a lime.

The morning sickness is extremely bad now and Magda even flies out when she hears from Nilla that Pernille had thrown up on the side of the pitch one morning.

"This brings back memories," Magda quips as she holds Pernille's hair back.

"Of what?"

"Crazy parties in our youth."

"We're still young, Magda. Becoming parents doesn't automatically make us old," Pernille sits up and takes the washcloth from her partner.

"Yeah, but we're more mature now. No more crazy parties and throwing up."

"None recently," Pernille corrects. She smiles for a moment before hunching over the toilet bowl again.

Magda rubs her back. "I've taken a few weeks off," She says," You keep getting sick."

"Magda-"

"No, I've already made my decision. International break is soon anyway. Our next match isn't too difficult. They don't really need me."

Pernille can't find it in herself to argue about it much, with the way that she sags against the wall and stays within arm's length of the toilet.

Magda kisses her stomach. "You're making your Momma sick," She says," You've got to leave her alone. You're still growing in there."

At month four, you're around the size of an avocado.

The morning sickness has stopped completely now but the soreness in her breasts doesn't subside at all.

It's completely coincidental when, one evening as she's changing her shirt, Pernille catches the sight of herself in the mirror.

She's got a baby bump now.

Instantly, her hand goes to touch it, as if she could feel exactly where you are.

She takes a picture and sends it to Magda.

She can see that it's been read but Magda doesn't reply for hours until finally...

MAGDA ❤️ you look so beautiful that's my new lockscreen

It's month five. You're the same length as a banana.

She could have found out earlier but Pernille waits until Magda can make the trip to find out your gender.

"A girl." Magda is still convinced as they sit in the waiting room, her hand stroking over Pernille's knuckles. "I know she's a girl."

"We'll see."

Pernille feels a bit vindictive so has the doctor write your gender on a scrap of paper, folds it up and hands it to Frido (who has come to visit).

"Huh?" Frido says as she looks down at the scunched-up ball of paper.

"You're in charge of that," Pernille says," Magda doesn't see it, she doesn't take it before the gender reveal."

"You guys are planning a gender reveal?"

Pernille shakes her head. "No. You are."

By month six, you're as big as an ear of corn.

You move around a lot now and Pernille never forgets the look on Magda's face when, one evening, Pernille grasps her hand and places it over her swollen stomach.

You kick almost every day and Pernille rubs her stomach softly as Frido hands her and Magda a knife.

"I bought cake," Frido proclaims," Because this is a celebration and you can't go wrong with cake."

Someone (Pernille's not sure who) on the Wolfsburg team rolls it out.

"If it's blue, it's a boy. If it's pink, it's a girl," Frido explains even though it really didn't need explaining. She's taking her role as future moster very seriously and it's slightly amusing.

"It'll be pink," Magda says," I know it will."

Frido rolls her eyes. "Then cut it. But...just wait until the camera's on. Okay! Ready? Ready!"

Magda's hand is warm around Pernille's, who is holding the knife in her own. They make two cuts into the cake, one after the other, and then pull out the slice.

"A girl," Pernille says softly, smiling as her team celebrates around her. She looks up at Magda, whose eyes are glistening with unshed tears.

"A girl."

Month seven and the only thing different is now you're the size of a large aubergine.

Her doctor has said that you can hear now so she spends countless nights with a pair of headphones on her stomach, playing voice notes Magda has sent throughout the day for you.

It's amusing. They're mostly nonsense, Magda just talking about her day and all the things she looks forward to doing with you but it's incredibly sweet and Pernille ends up crying every time.

Month eight comes around and now you're the same size as a cabbage.

Pernille's back aches more than ever and you enjoy sitting on her bladder so she has to take a bathroom break more often.

The highlight of the month comes when Magda comes over and lifts her bump, allowing Pernille to sag against her and feel slightly weightless for a little bit.

At month nine, you're the same as a head of lettuce.

She and Magda have been arguing over names for months now. There's a list pinned to the fridge and each of them takes a lot of pride in crossing out the other's suggestions in healthy competition.

Your last name is still up for debate too, as is your middle (but, somehow, Frido's gotten in on that action and has been texting Pernille suggestions for weeks now).

Pernille's having trouble getting to sleep too and you get more active than before. Rather than kicking though, it's your little fists thumping against her stomach (something that, many years in the future, she will tell Zećira was you foreshadowing).

Her doctor told her it was normal but it's still a bit disconcerting to see the tiny imprints of your even tinier fingers poking from the inside out.

By month ten (and Pernille hates that she's been lied to and pregnancy does not, in fact, end in the ninth month), you're the same size as a pumpkin.

She feels ready to pop but restless at the same time.

Magda's meant to be flying out later today but Pernille is in desperate need of some fresh air so she pulls on some clothes and gets herself ready to head to the Wolfsburg grounds.

#woso x reader #hardersson x reader #pernille harder x reader #pernille harder #magdalena eriksson x reader #magdalena eriksson #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso #The Big Adventures Universe

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flanaganfilm · 1 month

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howdy!! do you rewatch your own work? if so, how often? im wondering if it has the same "artist just sees faults with what they create" thing, or if youre able to appreciate past projects the way they deserve

I don't, typically... usually, by the time we're finished with post production, I've seen the thing so many times that I'm thrilled to stop watching it. I'm either sick of it, or just feeling like it doesn't belong to me anymore. There are other reasons, too - Hill House was a traumatic production for me, for example, I have a lot of complicated emotions woven into it, so I haven't felt ready to rewatch that one since before it aired. Maybe in a few more years.

Somewhat recently, I've revisited a few of the older movies with my eldest son, who is 13 now. He's basically as old as my career itself. We've watched Oculus, Hush, The Midnight Club (which he LOVED, proving it worked for our target audience) and Ouija: OOE together, and each of those screenings was a really cool experience. His reactions and questions were really fascinating, and I felt like I was able to see those movies anew through his eyes. That's the closest I've come to feeling like I was really seeing them, and that's only because so much time has gone by for those. I watched the Director's Cut of Doctor Sleep a few years back at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park Colorado. It was part of a live NoSleep Podcast event, and that was the first time I'd seen that movie since it was released. It was also the first and only time I'd ever seen the Director's Cut with an audience. That was a really special screening and it meant a lot to me.

I haven't yet had the guts to revisit any of the TV series other than Midnight Club. As my kids get older, I'm sure I'll watch them all with them. The one I'm most excited to see is Midnight Mass, which remains my favorite of the shows. I haven't seen it since before it came out - I remember the last day of post on that show, watching down each episode with final mix and color. That's a series I wish I could actually watch like a viewer at home, and while I'll never truly be able to do that, I look forward to looking at it with some real distance.

There are a few of the older projects I'd be curious to watch now. I wonder how Absentia holds up - I was such a baby when we made that movie, and it's been so long. I imagine I could watch that today and have a really trippy experience. I also haven't revisited Before I Wake in a very long time, and I always really loved that script. The movie was a rough road, and my feelings were mixed by the time it finally found its finish line (Relativity Media really beat that one up), but that could also be a really interesting viewing experience at this stage of my career.

But generally, each of these movies is a journey, and once the journey is over it's tough to ever really go back. There's little point, and moving forward feels like a matter of survival. The "finished product" is only the tip of a large, deep, labyrinthian iceberg for me. It's impossible to only see what's on the surface, no matter how hard I try.

(Interesting side-note: The only exception I've found to this rule is The Life of Chuck. We just finished post production on the movie, and I've watched it dozens and dozens of times now - but I've never grown tired of it, not even a little bit. That movie is something special, and I am eager to watch it again - and again - and again. I don't know that I'll ever want distance from that one; in fact, watching it brings me a sense of joy, comfort, and safety.)

#midnight mass #the fall of the house of usher #the haunting of hill house #the midnight club #doctor sleep #the haunting of bly manor #ouija origin of evil #oculus #before i wake #absentia #ouija: origin of evil #gerald's game

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jinnie-ret · 6 months

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Hi! I was just wondering, could you write a oneshot of reader feeling really tired/kinda depressed, like too tired to get up of the bed to get a drink, too tired to even talk and skz just helping them through it and taking care of them? It could be 9th member or just the groupd friend. It's ok if you don't want to or don't feel comfortable with it. Thank you! Lots of love!

slump

stray kids x best friend!reader

genre: angst, fluff

content warnings: mental exhaustion

word count: 1.3k

summary: your best friends notice you've been acting different recently, and help you through your mental rut.

Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you enjoy this one. And if anyone is ever feeling this way, you can always message me, or reach out for help :)

Asks are shut, but if you want to be added to my taglist, let me know! And reblog and like if you enjoyed! <3

MAIN MASTERLIST

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Love, can you open the door?" Changbin's soft voice called out quietly, yet you made no effort to move. You knew he could just as easily open your door and walk in, but he was waiting to see if you had the energy to do it yourself.

"I'll take that as a no," and he walked away from the door, probably back into the kitchen to inform the boys that their latest attempt didn't work.

It wasn't that you didn't want to see them. It was more that your social battery was drained. Not even a good night's sleep was helping you gain energy because, well, although you weren't having sleepless nights, there was still a lot of things weighing on your mind that was stopping you from wanting to do anything.

Buzz.

Oh. They were spamming the group chat again.

kangaroo🖤: remember to have something to eat!

bokkie🐲: pls eat smthn sweaty 💞

prince🖌️: lixie you did not jst call her sweaty that isn't gnna help 😭

mongmong🎤: ignore them sweetie just pls eat smthn if you have the energy yh?

cheese toastie🦊: our minnie is so sweet

quokka boy🥊: careful or he will chnge his mind 👀

kitty boy😼: i'm cooking u dinner rn

dwaekki💪: pls come out and see us love :(

And so the guilt set in once more. You could tell they were doing their best but for the past couple of days you didn't want to do anything at all. And whilst they had asked you, you shut them down every time and waved them off.

The next day, you were due to go into work, something your best friends were well aware of as they had checked your shared calender to see if there was anything upcoming that was overwhelming you.

When you rang into work to call in for a sick day, that was the first time the boys heard your voice in like 48 hours. Croaky. Dry. Exhausted.

Which is what prompted your next visit.

"Hey, Y/Nnie, I've brought you some water. You don't have to talk to us if you don't want to... but, yeah," Felix brought in a bottle filled with ice water and you could tell he didn't know what exactly to do in the situation without you responding to him.

You couldn't help but feel the gratitude within you after he awkwardly smiled at you, and so, you spoke up from your nest in bed.

"Thank you, Lixie."

Within a flash he turned around and grinned warmly at you, excited at just this simple interaction, because him and the boys had been worried sick the past few days. They knew everyone had their moments, but they had never seen you like this before.

After he left, you sipped at your water and continued to mindlessly scroll through your social media feed on your phone. There was still a numbness there. You recognised videos that would normally make you laugh yet no emotion filled you.

And that's what made you feel weirder.

You thought about other times people went into some sort of slump and they'd normally be sad, upset for some reason. But no, not you.

You felt emotionless. The loneliness wasn't what sucked you in yet it was like a part of your brain felt like it had shut off. And that lasted for the next few hours until the members caught you out of bed looking for something in the cupboard to eat.

"Oh, Y/N!" Han jumped back with a hand on his heart, yet you carried on in your sluggish efforts to make something to eat.

"You're out of bed?" Jeongin was shocked until he winced from the small slap on the back of his head from Changbin.

"Don't eat that, it's not good for you, here, heat this up," Lee Know took away the instant noodles from your grasp and instead pulled out a container with a portion of dinner he had made last night. He seemed to be taking control yet he wanted to see you do something for yourself. He hoped it was motivating and that the simplest thing of heating up your own food would lead you towards an upward trajectory of going back to your usual self.

You slowly padded across the kitchen to the microwave and shoved the food in, a gentle hand tapping you on the shoulder as you shut the machine's door.

"Let's talk, Y/N," Chan guided you to the sofa in the lounge connected to the kitchen, the rest of your friends following through. There was no choice in the matter, yet the eldest remained calm which reassured you slightly.

"We've been worried about you," Hyunjin spoke for everyone when he said that.

"Sorry," you whisper, picking at the threads of your baggy jumper sleeve.

"No, don't apologise. We just want to know what's going on in that head of yours," Seungmin leans forward as he speaks quietly.

You simply shrug.

"Y/Nnie?" Chan further prompted.

"I don't know," you shrugged again, not even knowing how to explain what was going on.

"You don't know?" Felix looked around at the other members, confused.

Just then, the microwave dinged, and you stood up to go and get your food, but Lee Know's hands on your shoulders stopped you.

"Don't worry about that now. Just talk to us, anything," his thumbs rubbed soothing circles before he moved away.

"I-I don't know what you want me to say," you brought your legs up to your chest.

"We know you had work today," Changbin mentioned.

"It's ok, I called in sick," you mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Do you have a temperature?" Han frowned, feeling your forehead but that answered his question.

"I just didn't feel like it... but not in like a lazy way but I just couldn't... mentally do it?" your answer came out as a rushed question, not even sure yourself but it made sense to the rest of the boys.

"Ah, sweetie, you should have said," Hyunjin pouted, feeling bad that you were struggling.

"Not that easy though, is it?" you looked up and saw Chan crouched down in front of you.

"It's not, we know that, but we want you to always know that you've got us to fall back on, no matter what, ok?" he grabbed your hands as he said this, squeezing them so that you knew he was physically there.

"Y/Nnie... you know you don't have to always have energy, right? It's ok to have your down days," Han said seriously, which even caused Chan to look at him surprisingly as he moved away from in front of you.

"I feel like..." you began, but trailed off shaking your head.

"Tell us, talk to us love," Changbin insisted.

"I feel like I have to keep telling myself I can do it, but I know I'm lying to myself, I guess?" you sighed, leaning further back into the sofa.

"You can do it, we all know you can," Jeongin encouraged you sweetly.

"But if you can't right now, that's also fine," Seungmin added on.

And there was no need for you to verbally respond, because these safety oozing from them was wrapping you in a nice comfy blanket.

Oh, and Felix was also wrapping you in a blanket, that could have been why you felt the sudden warmth.

"Right, now you can eat," Lee Know nodded, satisfied with how the conversation had played out.

"Me too, hyung!" Han and Hyunjin both dashed after Lee Know, begging him for food too, and with that you smiled.

"There you are," Changbin titled your head up as you smiled, his face mirroring yours.

"If all it took was for Han and Hyunjin to be whiny and complain, we could have had this conversation a lot sooner," Seungmin rolled his eyes fondly, thinking of the two 00 liners who were bickering earlier that day.

"Don't ruin the moment Seungmin," Chan tutted jokingly.

But it didn't ruin the moment. Seeing them act normally around you again after they had cleared up what was going on made you feel better.

You felt, once again.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z

#skz #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz fluff #skz angst #straykids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #skz fic

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luvyeni · 1 year

Text

LONELY; LEE MINHO

pairings. softdom!minho x touchedstarved!reader

wc. 1k+

warnings. oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, praise kink, breeding kink

this was a request but i can't find who sent it, it must've been deleted. i'm not good at angst but i tried.

lee know constantly being away was starting to get hard, especially during tour.

—

you knew what you were getting yourself into when you entered into a relationship with lee know, but it still didn't hurt any less when he was super busy.

like recently he started touring once again, flying from country to country, doing what he loves.

he recently returned from singapore, having a few days off in korea before he had to go back in the air to head to japan.

he was so exhausted when he came home, and all he wanted to do is rest by himself and take care of the cats before he had to go, and being the person you were, you didn't want to bother him, so you let him be.

but you couldn't help but crave his touch, not even sexually (even though you wanted that too), but you just wanted to be held by him.

"love, have seen my phone charger, i'm packing my bag for tomorrow and I need my extra charger?" you pointed to the dresser.

"thank you." he put it in his bag. "i can't believe we're going back to japan, it's crazy I feel like we've been there a hundred times."

he then went on rant of how many more countries they had to go, and as he went on, you couldn't help but start to tear up, you just want him to stay home with you.

"and then we- whoa what's baby what's wrongs?" he put his things down, rushing over to the bed. "are you sick?" you shook your head no.

"what is it?"

you felt so embarrassed for crying, but you couldn't keep it in anymore. "i really want you to stay, i miss you so much, i wanted to just touch you and be with you when you came home, but you wanted to be alone, so i didn't want to bother you, but now im gonna be alone again."

lee know felt bad, he knew you craved physical touch a lot due to things in your past. he didn't mean to shut you out these past couple days, he was just so exhausted he hadn't even noticed.

"my poor baby, i've been neglecting you haven't i?" you sniffled, nodding. "you just wanted to be loved and touched, and i haven't been a good boyfriend, im sorry." he cupped your face, wiping your tear stained cheeks.

he pulled you into a passionate kiss, his soft lips made your entire mind go fuzzy. he pulled away noticing your new state, your eyes glossed over. "my pretty baby, i got you." He pulled you into his lap.

he left little kisses along your shoulder blade. "i..i w..want you." iou whimpered. "i..i want you to touch me, please."

normally he would tease you, and make you beg for his touch, but he could tell you were not in the right headspace for this. "okay baby, lay down for me." you crawled out of his lap, laying on your back.

"good girl."

he kissed down your tummy, to your waist. "p..please."

he pulled your pants and panties down, tossing them somewhere in the room. "so pretty love." He kissed your thighs.

"you smell so fucking good princess." you wiggled your hips, but he stilled them with one hand. "i got you princess, i got you."

he gave your clit a little kiss, before licking a strip down your folds. "m..minho." you fingers ran through his hair, tugging at it as he ate you out.

"you feeling good princess?" his finger prodded at your wet hole. "so wet." He slid his finger inside, licking your clit, adding more stimulation.

"i..i'm g..gonna cum."

"g..go ahead, cum whenever you want princess." he added another finger, speeding up his process.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head, thighs shaking as you came on his fingers. "good girl." He kissed you, essence still on his lips, making you moan.

"c..cock, w..wan' your cock." you were a mess, head in the clouds... lee know thought you were a adorable, babbling mess.

"want my cock? okay, you can have it." he pulled his sweats down, underwear too. he stopped you from touching him , cooing at you when you whined in frustration.

"relax baby this is about you, it's all about your pleasure only today." he touched your cheek once more. "let me handle it."

he positioned himself at your hole, wasting no time, pushing inside you. "fuck baby you're so tight."

he slowly pulled out, before slamming back in you. "s..sso b..big!" he gave you another kiss to the temple. "im so -shit- im so sorry for neglecting you." he thrusted slowly inside you.

"i know you hate when i leave princess, i hate leaving you, wish i could take you with me." you whined because that's all you could do.

"keep you by my side at all time for motivation before a preformance, fucking you in the hotel room after the preformance." he tugged at your nipples.

"you're clenching around me fuck, you're gonna cum again? go ahead cum, be my good girl and cum." he began to pick up his pace.

"lee know- fuck! " with a scream of his name, you came around his cock. he rode out your high, feeling himself about to cum also.

"shit! i'm gonna cum- im cumming." you felt his cum paint your walls white, thrusting three more times, riding out his high. "good job, you did such a good job princess."

he pulled out of you, you whined at loss of contact. "im hear baby, i'm still here."

he waited for you to come down, smiling as you looked him in the eyes. "you're back." he caressed your cheek. "let's get you cleaned up."

you grabbed his hand, stopping him from moving. "no, please let's just handle it in the morning, i just want to cuddle with you." he nodded; laying next to you, wrapping you in his arms.

"i really am sorry, i didn't mean to ignore you, i was just so tired,i hadn't noticed." You nodded. "it's okay."

"never be afraid to tell me you need me okay? even if im tired, i will always make time for you, okay? i love you." you kissed his lips softly.

"i love you too."

he kissed your forehead, pulling you even closer if that was possible, and that's how you spent the rest of the night, in each others arm, enjoying each others presence in silence.

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #skz smut #skz hard hours #skz hard thoughts #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids smut #kpop smut #kpop hard thoughts #stray kids headcanons #stray kids x reader #lee know smut #lee know hard hours #lee know hard thoughts #lee minho smut #stray kids suggestive #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fanfic

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luveline · 8 months

Note

Not sure if I’m doing this right because I’ve never really taken part in one of these but please can I request something for zombie Steve and reader with the below prompt:

𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝'𝐬 𝐨𝐤 —send me a hurt/comfort request for any reader and any character and I'll write a ficlet, 2k or less

Maybe like, some time shortly after they started to become romantically involved or after he first calls her his gf, and Steve has a bad day and is a little short with reader and she’s worrying he’s regretting crossing that line with her but then he reassures her he’s not regretting it.

Sorry if I’m doing this wrong and no worries if you don’t like it, I just seriously love zombie Steve, especially when he’s a lil grumpy grump but always wants to make up for it afterwards 🥰

luveline's 40k party ☆ thank you for your request, you did it perfect don't worry! steve zombie!au —steve gets stressed when food is in short supply, but he cares about you more than you think. fem!reader, 2.5k

cw starving / food insecurity

"I don't think we can make it another day if we don't find something tonight."

Steve's shoulders go rigid at your statement, backpack reflecting glaring light.. It's dark as night, the room illuminated by two twin flashlight beams. New batteries have the lights constant and consistent. It's a shame you can't live off of batteries.

You're hungry in a way you've never been hungry before. Never. You and Steve have been starving for days. You have a pounding headache leaking down into your teeth that's made you quiet and Steve is quieter, pointing his flashlight into the next kitchen cabinet. The only thing inside is dust, motes swimming in a sea of white.

What's worse, you're terrified to hop houses at night, because from afar, deep in the forest surrounding the residential neighbourhood you're in, you've been hearing wolves. Deep howls chasing a filling moon.

You're so hungry you've had to risk it.

Your head is heavy on your neck as you look up into another cabinet. "We're gonna die," you say. You can't help it —maybe it's the genuine and inescapable despair of thinking you'll die, maybe it's his recent bout of loving affection, but lately all you do is complain.

"We're not gonna die," Steve says.

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."

"How could you? All these houses have been stripped clean, there's nothing left–"

"I just know, alright?"

He slams the cabinet door shut and stalks to the other side of the kitchen. These houses are huge, rich people places with endless bedrooms and their matching ensuites. He shoves his weight into the door leading to the garage. You don't have a choice, following him in. Steve wants space but he can't have it, splitting up makes you feel sick.

Your hands under his t-shirt, his hands on your back. An admission. I've been calling you my girlfriend in my head for weeks.

Your Steve's girlfriend. He's your boyfriend, and he's gonna get eaten by a zombie in a garage in the middle of nowhere suburbia and you'll be all alone without him.

"Steve," you say, irritated. The garage is even darker than the kitchen, no windows for moonlight to crawl inside. He's turned his torch to the storage bins behind a black, sleek car.

"What?" he asks, using the brunt of his palm to lift a lid.

"What do you mean, what? If I walked away from you like that you'd bite my head off."

"Jesus," he hisses, quickly turning his light away from the bin he's opened. "What the fuck?"

You creep up behind him to direct your own flashlight. You don't want to talk about what you find inside.

Defeated and distant and wishing things could be different, you and Steve clip your rucksacks at the waist and prepare to move in the dark from this shitty empty house to the next. You can't sleep; Steve won't say it, but you think he might be scared that you'll both be too weak to get up again if you lay down. This is the final push.

You don't ask for his hand. He grabs one of your rucksack straps and you slink down the concrete steps of the house back onto the picture perfect streets. An entire apocalypse and the only evidence is smashed glass. The cold night bounces off of the sidewalk to chill your calves, your old jeans little defence against the cold. It's so, so cold lately.

The next house is locked. You and Steve look at one another, and whether you can see him in the moonlight dregs or if your mind knows him well enough to fill in the gaps is anyone's guess. He looks reluctantly hopeful.

You take a silent walk around the house checking for points of entry. When each door you come across is locked and each window tightly locked, you kneel at the garage door and force your icy fingers beneath the door. Steve helps, flat of his knife scratching the asphalt. You lose all the feeling in your fingertips as Steve struggles to get his hands under as well, but together you sigh, pained, and lift the garage door with the last of your strength. You army under first quickly, almost dropping the shutters as Steve follows.

Fingertips aching with quick-blooming contusions, you attempt to help Steve stand. He ignores your offered hand.

This house is the same as the other, so while it's dark, it's manoeuvrable. Same daunting marble staircases up on to a balconied landing. Across to the left is a lone bedroom with huge windows and a staircase to the attic, and across to the right a handful of equally spacious rooms. You hadn't bothered searching the bedrooms in the houses before, figuring that whoever combed the kitchens to the insane degree they have was as desperate as you are now, and would've already done so.

But this house was locked.

You're filled with aching hope. You need to eat. You don't want to die. You don't want Steve to die. If there's nothing here, you aren't sure you'll have the energy to search another granite kitchen.

Steve wastes no time opening a cabinet.

You both stand still in shock.

Cereal. Boxes and boxes of cereal.

"What do you think the sell by date is?" you ask.

"I don't know." He pulls down a box. It's off by a year. Pulls down another. Off again. Something awful inside of you wants to tear into the cardboard and eat it anyways. Too bad food poisoning can kill you quicker than hunger.

Steve leaves the cabinet door open and moves to the next, practically ripping it off of the hinges. Your torch beam shakes with excitement when you see the insides, golden cans stacked high.

Steve picks one up. Tosses it aside. "It's cat food."

Well, if all else fails. The thought makes you want to cry.

The next cabinet is full of glassware, and the next china plates. Steve opens a fifth and sixth at the same time. It takes you a second to calibrate the sight in front of you.

"It's not more cat food, is it?" you ask quietly.

Steve breathes out hard, grabbing a handful of skinny cans, metal popping against the counter as he drops one. "It's fish. Tuna fish."

And just like that, you get to live.

The last cabinet has a short supply of soups and bare essentials, enough for a week between you both (rich people ate less processed foods, apparently). It's the fish that promises security, a hundred cans of bluefin, yellowfin tuna, a couple cans of caviar.

You and Steve eat it in the kitchen with fancy spoons. The smell is undesirable but it doesn't make you feel sick until hours later, half asleep on the kitchen floor.

You stand up, ushering him with you, and pull yourselves with heavy emphasis on the handrail up the stairs to the first bedroom you come across. You take your toothbrush from your bag despite the begging pull of sleep and brush your teeth, eager to escape the salty tang of fish. If Steve wants to kiss you tonight, you'd rather taste like Arctic Fresh than fish.

"Can I have some?" Steve asks.

You raise your brows, squeezing toothpaste onto his brush. While he brushes, you construct a little lamp using the low-power torch and a half full water bottle. The room is far less intimidating after that, light reaching into the corners and exposing the raw wooden beams above. Steve spits his toothpaste into the wastebasket and leaves the room. He returns as you're taking off your shoes, disapproving as he drags a chair in. He hooks it under the door handle, jigging it to test.

"I can't wear them anymore," you say.

"Okay," he says.

You'd hoped finding food would make him less snappy, but no luck. He's even quieter than before.

You get changed in silence, like you've both decided now you're not hungry that actually you'd been kind of filthy. It's just… your reality. You want to be clean, and fed, and brushed, but you're grimy. You settle for another layer of deodorant and a fresh pair of underwear.

Steve is looking at you, half-naked. He's allowed, it doesn't matter, but he averts his eyes when you catch him and doesn't speak to you again. Thankfully, your sated hunger removes despair to some extent. You climb into bed and Steve slides in next to you, and for a few hours, you sleep.

Waking up is a new agony.

You're bad at being separated from one another, and finding him gone fucks you up. Your heart immediately leaps into your mouth, a raw, beating thing. The daylight disarms you at first, blinking against it, but proves to be your friend when you find Steve's shoes at the end of the bed. It's a marker, a note from him to you: I'm still here.

He's leaning heavily on the countertop in the kitchen with a notebook laid flat and a pen in hand, tallying up the cans.

"Hey, you scared me," you say, his shoes in one hand, yours in the other.

"Sorry."

You put the shoes on the counter.

You hesitate to touch him first. You'd been thinking last night before you slept, his hand near your hip instead of on it, that Steve's finally realised he doesn't want to be with you. Like a near death experience, he'd had an epiphany. Why would he want to spend the bare strands of a life that he has playing house with you?

He didn't have a choice. One sudden day and you were his burden.

Steve takes your hand without looking. Firm, he squeezes his fingers between yours and pulls you into his side. "It's a month's worth of food, easily. But it might make us kind of sick if we aren't careful. There's Mercury in it. Less than the cheap stuff, but we still shouldn't be eating so much." His arm presses to yours. He meets your eyes over his shoulder. "I hate fish."

"You're talking to me today."

He looks down at the notebook, his eyebrows pinching in like you've stepped on his foot. "I– sorry. I wasn't very nice, yesterday, I guess."

You're relieved to hear his apology, not because you really even want one, but because it means he isn't as mad at you as you thought. "I was complaining."

"It was all shit. You're allowed. I… was stressed."

"It was all shit," you agree, explaining away his bad mood. But, last night, he didn't wanna hold you. It sounds pathetic but on a small scale, this is your life. Any change feels foreign.

"I wasn't mad at you for complaining."

You feel the back of his hand with your thumb. Fine hairs, skin rough from a few weeks of the elements. "Thanks for clarifying."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

Steve looses go of your hand to put his arm on your shoulder. His fingertips skirt against your back, tickling gently. His eyes are serious but his mouth curves with a smile. "Why are you upset?" he asks.

"I'm not."

"I think I'd know."

It seems silly now to tell him with his touch, his face this close to yours. You take in a shuddering breath and his expression pinches.

Steve stands as close to you as he can without hugging you. "Hey, tell me," he says.

You push your tongue against your teeth, thinking. Tears threaten to collect, a burning lump bobbing in your throat at his question.

"Do you ever regret this?" you ask. "Sometimes I think you do."

"This?" he asks.

"Me and you."

Steve laughs, and that really is foreign what with the last few days of moroseness you've had. It's not a humoured laugh, just a shocked one, the sound inking his words as he says, "We're not something up for regretting."

"What's that mean?"

"It means," —Steve ducks his head a little, eye to eye with you as his arm curls behind your neck— "it's not even an option. Us, me and you, you alone, it's not an option. I don't regret what's happened or what's happening between us. I wish… I wish I'd been less of a dick to you. I wish I was nicer to you now, and that's a shitty thing to say, but this–" Hid eyes flare with annoyance directed inward. "I get fucking abysmally moody because I can't believe I'm this bad at taking care of you."

You lift your chin ever so slightly and Steve kisses you. Sweet but a little rough, like he'd been waiting for an offer.

"I don't regret this," he mumbles, tapping the tip of his nose under yours. You lift your head, and he fits another kiss to the seam of your lips.

"You didn't wanna hug me or anything last night–"

He hugs you immediately. "I'm sorry," he says over your ear. "It was just a bad day."

"But I'm here with you. I'm having the bad day with you, I want to be there for you," you say, semi-desperate.

"I'm sorry," he says again, relaxing as your arms fold behind his back.

Steve pets your back. You wish things were different, that he could be hugging you somewhere different. You can picture it, Steve dropping you off at some college class or putting his hand in your back pocket on the way to dinner. Things could be so much better and they never, ever will be.

You don't ask, afraid to even suggest it if he hasn't thought of it, but you worry Steve is with you out of habit. Bad habits are hard to break, but anyone can stop smoking if they really want to. He could move on.

He must read your mind.

"Sorry," Steve whispers, leaning back to kiss your cheek. "I'm a shitty boyfriend sometimes when I'm trying to be good at keeping us alive. You're the only good thing. I'm really sorry, honey."

You nibble on the inside of your lip and hug him harder. "Stop saying sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, I just think too much."

He breathes out in surprise at your ferocity, dropping his head into the curve of your neck.

"I'm sorry," he says anyway.

Unbeknownst to you, it's in lieu of a different confession.

You crack a smile. Steve pulls away to fret over your face uselessly, wiping away things you can't see and smiling back like a guy in the movies, all confident and flirtatious. It's a stark difference to the previous gloom.

"Let's go find some water," he says, taking the side of your face into his palm. "I smell bad and you're shiny."

"Nice, Steve."

#steve zombie!au #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington drabble #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things 4 #luveline’s 40k party

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thecameronchronicles · 1 year

Text

Baby Daddy: Alimony

BABY DADDY Part 1!

TW: Toxic!Rafe. Smut. Language. Degrading language. Breeding kink. Dom!Rafe. Daddy kink. Choking kink. Blade play.

SUMMARY: You believe you've finally gotten a step ahead over your toxic baby daddy. Foolish you…

WORD COUNT: 3000

*REQUESTED*

Anonymous asked

could there be a part 2 to baby daddy w rafe?

Alimony

He always had a way of winning. Poker. Business. His way into your sheets yet again. At least he had until lately. Excuses and appointments on your end had allowed you the chance to form some sort of dominance over your toxic situationship. And somehow beyond worry and former threats, your heels came to a click through his office on your most recent expression of altered submission.

"Excuse me, you can't go in there-" His assistant called from behind her desk, desperate for you to obey or risk his wrath. For a moment, you couldn't help but wonder if she had been a replacement to some complaint her predecessor made against Rafe for misconduct.

"Just a piece of advice…he's not worth the expensive perfume…" You explained as she blushed, the clear unbuttoned decolletage set in such a way to garner his focus as her intentions had been spoiled. Too much in shock to your audacity, you were allowed into his meeting without any further protest.

"If we focus only on the west-" His words ceased immediately once his eyes fell to you. If not for the look of pride across your face, he would have believed that something happened to your shared offspring. For the absence of this, he simply tightened his jaw to wait for the reason for your presence.

For the years he had bombarded you and infiltrated your life, you finally had the chance to return the unpleasant favor. Without a second thought, you set down the collection of bills before him with a glare of challenge cast in his direction.

"If you weren't so busy buying expensive and inappropriate dinners for new assistants you'd know that you're three months late in alimony. Money needed to take care of your son." You spat as he didn't wear an expression of embarrassment, maybe awe, even arousal, but you hadn't been allowed the reaction you sought out. Because of this, you continued.

"A lifestyle you demand he has. A private school. Expensive clothes and toys he'd be fine without. But since you won't let me raise him modestly…you pay for these…things I could without you…but you won't let me."

"Excuse me, but this isn't the time or place to exercise your hormonal-" You narrowed your eyes towards the man who spoke against you. One Rafe told you enough about to offer a stain against his reputation amongst fellow colleagues.

"How's your wife?" He cleared his throat before fixing his tie.

"What does-"

"Does she know you have a proclivity for your assistant? Your male assistant-"

"Enough. My office. Five minutes." Rafe apologized on your behalf as you left the bills at your back before moving to his office.

Set at the rim of the desk, your palms rested on the wooden edge as you were left in wait. Pictures of your son lay in pride on his desk along with one of you and him closer to his closed laptop. You couldn't help but feel warmth when on observation of the simpler time. A time before you really knew him and the poor excuse he had for a heart.

"I've ruined men's lives for less than what you did…"

"I'm not afraid of you, Rafe. I am tired of all of this…You dictate every aspect of my life with our son even though I am the one with him day in and day out. All of his doctor's appointments. Teaching him to read. Playdates. Sick days. When he broke his wrist last summer from being at the park with the nanny YOU were too busy eye-fucking to to notice!" He clenched his arms, your eyes drawn to the strain of fabric caused by his muscles.

"So you're mad because I showed interest in someone else?"

"Are you really THAT much of a narcissist? Your son got hurt because you were reckless and put him as anything but a priority!"

He took a step closer to you, the entire collection of oxygen around you seemingly thinned as he drew a finger to his bottom lip. The signet ring on that leading finger forcing your focus to his lips. Those damn lips that held talent no man should be able to possess. The same talent that made you forgive him so many times before. At least long enough to give you both an orgasm.

"I wasn't "eye-fucking" her-"

"I don't care what you call it Rafe, he got hurt because you were-"

"I was trying not to fuck you in the middle of that park in that goddamn sundress you know makes me hard enough to split you in half." He explained behind clenched teeth.

"Looking at her was the only thing that kept me from looking at you. The only person I'll ever eye-fuck Because nobody compares to you. No matter how many girls I've tried to test that theory on…" He was now only a foot or so in front of you.

"I told you you ever needed anything, you just ask. But you made a scene…" His hand was suddenly in the back of your hair.

"So now you're going to make sure they hear what happens when you rival me." You were taken against the desk, palms forced at the surface.

"Don't hurt my reputation, baby…scream for me like you always do and I might just let you come…" His hands were feverish and gluttonous to a competitive degree. Harsh but through as he reached within your house and directly beneath your bra. It took only one repressed moan and shuddering breath before he smirked at your cheek. He knew you wanted him. And he was shameless to broadcast the same need to you.

A single scoff felt at your back and he pulled the straps to your shirt downwards until exposing your bra to him.

"Now you didn't come here in my favorite bra just to talk…" You hesitated, unaware you had subconsciously dressed in his favored piece of lingerie. When you didn't respond, he turned you to face him, a letter opener set as a threat to your jaw. The life suddenly behind his eyes was frightening as it was only born from your fear. And yet, you were aware he wouldn't bring true harm to you. Not anymore than what he'd already done, anyhow. Your thighs aching at the thought of that very thing.

"Anyone else were to talk to me like that and they would…" He paused. "Let's just say he wouldn't find it as pleasurable as I could make it for you…"

"I didn't come here for-"

"If your panties match this bra then you came here for exactly this." But as his hand rode into your pants, a violent unbuttoning of the closure and you gasped to the feeling of his fingertips against your naked clit. Not an ounce of fabric separating you.

"No panties?" He scoffed. "Making it a bit too easy for me, baby…" He lowered the edge of the blade to your chest, teasing your nipple with its cold tip. First the left. Then the right. Circling it until lowering still. In the meantime, your breathing was sporadic to the crusade as your body shifted in accordance to the cold edge making contact.

"Maybe it wasn't for you." You shot, some random surge of courage allowing you to rival him.

"Don't ever say that shit to me again. YOU are for me. You can try to fuck anyone else and I promise you'll always be left wanting me. You know why, baby?" He suddenly took hold of the middle section of your bra to pull you closer to him. A gasp leaving your lips as he set the edge of the potential weapon to the fabric.

"Because you love this." He sliced the fabric, exposing your breasts that he was quick to apprehend. But the blade continued lower until it teased the line of your parted jeans.

"I-"

"Guess I need to prove it." Lowering to his knees, he pulled your pants to your knees before drawing the blade at an angle so it didn't cut you.

"One wrong move and you'll bleed for me…You know I don't mind ." His eyes flickered with mischief as you breathed sharply. The contact of the blade at your sex made you shift.

"You ever let anyone know how sweet this is…" He explained while pulling the blade to his tongue, a single lick of your excess removed, and rolling his eyes to your familiar taste.

"I'll fuck you with this very blade so you can only be with me." You tensed at the thought. It was a threat. Not some attempt to entice you with dirty words. And he meant it. Every ounce of predatory dominance was always exercised with that promise. But this was sharper. Deeper. A vow of sorts, spoke on his altar of domineering existence.

"Every time I want to be sweet to you…you open that pretty little mouth and make me want to come in it instead…Making you cry and plead…But today, you made a fatal error, baby. And now you're gonna make it up to me." He rose back over you.

"You know you belong on your knees here in my office."

"I'm not fucking you, Rafe." He smirked and nodded.

"You're right. I'm fucking you-" Distracted by his words you were taken aback by the sudden lift of your leg over the desk and his cock penetrating you with a cruel eagerness. And yet, you cried out for him as you always had. Only to return to that familiar hesitance.

"I don't want you on your knees looking up at me, because I always forgive you too quickly. I want you to earn it. For embarrassing me. So it's only fair I do the same to you." He was harsh with his focused touch, exercising your erogenous zones with fervor as you refrained from rewarding him with any sound. Instead, you held your breath to suppress those moans so desperate to be released.

"You can try to fight it all you want, baby. But your body is telling me just how much you missed me. How sorry you are-'"

"I'm not-" He silenced you by turning you into his mouth. His left hand came around your cheek, pressing you deeper into him as his tongue wrapped around yours.

"The more you fight it, the harder you're gonna come. You're edging yourself baby…doing my work for me…" He spoke against your lips as he continued to pump you against the desk. The gift of his successes shook before you until a specific statue came to the floor to break. He smirked, falling into the illusion of your submission as he loosened his grip on your hand.

It was just the window needed as you pushed him away from you and took the letter opener in hand.

"I'm not some toy to you anymore! You don't get to decide anything."

"You gonna stab me? Yeah?" He tried for you but you only cocked your jaw.

"Knees, Rafe. " You surprised him. "Make me come on your desk like you used to…" You smirked as you played with the tip of the blade.

"All over those contracts you used to get so made you'd have to print again…only to fuck me over the copier…counting each page out as punishment…"

"You think-"

"Your name might be on that door. The lease to my apartment. Even following our son's name. But you don't own me, Rafe. You don't decide where I go or who I see. When I come or with you. I want this for me. So knees. Or I'll leave right now and you won't-" He rushed against you, a kiss to your lips as he gathered your face between your palms. The letter opener, thrown across the floor, where it became lost to some bookshelf as you watched him pull away just slightly.

"There's that fire…"

"Shut up and make me come." He smirked before taking his hand to your neck. In the attempt made to keep dominance, you could only wrap your hand around his wrist as he pulled you to him.

"You're right…" His middle finger came to your sex. "I might now own you. God knows you have your own opinions. But I own your body. Your moans. Your orgasm. Even the denial you have after you regret giving in to me…again…"

"You-"

A second finger set at a curve made you gasp in relief.

"I own sex. With you. And I'll always make you mine. Make you come. Every time. And you show your ass like that again…I'll let them see it as I make it the darkest shade of red I can until you can't even sit." He scoffed.

"How will you explain that to our son? Hmm? His mom's a whore who can't learn to keep her mouth shut but keeps her legs open for daddy? Mmm…I like the way that sounds…"

He gripped your throat harder. "Call me it. I'll let you come. Just like you want. But call me it."

"Bastard." You shot as he kissed you sharply.

"That's fine. I'll just take you how I want…" He pinned your back flat against the desk before thrust you down onto him. The fulfillment of his cock sending your eyes to an immediate roll as your back arched from his depth.

"Not so dominant now with my cock deep enough to remind you how much you need it, yeah? Then fucking take it, baby…" Your fingers wrapped around the edge of the desk as he bowed into you. One harsh grasp to the back of your neck brought you into him as another held himself up from crushing you. It would only take until the third thrust before your reservation turned into the need for more as you wrapped yourself around him. Feet tied over his waist and your fingers pulling at his hair, he moaned into your kiss with approval.

"Rafe-"

"I know you're about to. Think I need to be warned after how many times?"

"No…I…I want more…" He smirked, kissing you once more before pressing your calf into his chest and holding you tightly.

"That enough for you, yeah? Feel me that deep inside of you?" He hit his hand on the surface of the desk beside you.

"Answer me!"

"Oh my God…" You only kissed him, softening his anger, but not his passion. "You feel so good…fuck me, Rafe…" His eyes rolled to your command.

"Daddy…" you teased directly into his ear before nibbling on the lobe beneath as he unleashed himself into you. The desk at a threat to break as it even cried out beneath you. But as you moaned shamelessly beneath him his hand came around your mouth. A slip allowed by losing himself in the greed of your lower lips.

"I thought you wanted them to hear me…"

"Nobody gets to hear you come but me." He lifted you off of the desk and onto the couch across the way until you straddled him. Without the need for guidance, you began a lace of bouncing and clenching as his fingers ate sharply into your hips.

"Yes!" He belted behind clenched teeth. "My girl never forgot how to ride me…" You diverted the grip over his shoulders into that of the fabric behind him as he corrected you back to his skin.

"It will hurt you."

"I want you to." He confessed, allowing you a chance to read beyond the lines of your toxic relationship, where sex governed and compassion was sparse. But in this moment, he became gentle. If he could even be such a thing, this was the closest you'd ever seen him.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I do. I want you to. Because I want to hurt you…" He explained with tears in his eyes as you kissed him sweetly, surprising him.

"Then hurt me." He clenched his jaw, turning you onto your knees before pulling you back to face him. A smack to your ass and a vice if s grip made you wince as he repeated it twice over.

"Just say it once. You don't have to mean it…just say you're mine…"

"I'm yours, Rafe…So fuck me like it…" He pounded into you, your body pinned between him and the arm of the chair as only his hand through your hair pulled him back.

"Yes!" You chorused.

"Oh shit…" He moaned for you, the desperate groan making your eyes roll in approval.

"I wanna fuck it so deep inside of you that you get pregnant again-" Your eyes shot open.

"Rafe-"

"Just one more time…You let me use every part of you to come…you were more horny than I was…" You hesitated.

"Yep…one more time…"

"Rafe, no-"

"Yes baby…you're gonna be so fucking good again…so beautiful, so full…tits so fuckable…"

"Raaaaafe!" You whimpered. "Please!"

"If you don't want it, are you you clenching so hard? Hmm? Why are you so close to coming for me?"

"Because you're so deep…"

"Deep enough for you to give me another baby…come on…take it baby…" he pulled you back against him. One arm wrapped as a sash as he used the other at your clit.

"You can come…I know I am…"

"Oh fuck!"

"Good fucking girl…oh yeah…oh you want it…say it…say you want my cum…say it!"

"Ah! I want it! Cum inside me, Rafe!"

"Yeah? Why?"

He smiled as you faced him. "Oh…tell me before I come…I'm close…you're too fucking tight…"

"That's fine…you're still gonna take every drop…" he thrust violently into you, as you belted and stiffened for him.

"There…Now I'll forgive you for acting like such a little bitch…" he moved to kiss you but you moved away.

"Don't be that way. You could have said no."

"I did…"

"Your body wanted it…I bet it still does…"

"Rafe…" He moved to his desk, pressing the intercom to his assistant. Pulling up the sleeves of his dress shirt you left loose and stretched, he kept his eyes to you.

"Cancel the rest of today."

"Mister Cameron-"

"Thank you." He moved back to you.

"Looks like you're mine for the rest of the day…"

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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aita for refusing to eat my family's food?

btw tw for child illness below:

i (15nb) hate cheese. when i say hate, it's a knee-jerk gag reflex response. when i was four or five, i was really ill after eating cheese. maybe it wasn't connected, but the experience of getting severe food poisoning as an already very ill child (long story. bad immune system. many near death experiences) was not a pleasant one. furthermore, i'm autistic, so i struggle with sensory issues and can't eat many foods because of texture reasons. i'm definitely a picky eater, and that alongside the cheese thing has really annoyed my family over the years.

basically, i won't go near cheese. won't eat it, won't even go down the aisle of the shops that sells it. it makes me feel sick. the smell, the texture. i just can't. i haven't eaten it for ten years. sometimes, i eat a little if i feel like it, like i can just about stomach smoked cheese IF I CHOOSE TO EAT IT.

my family all love cheese. they have a cheese board at every meal. sometimes i can't bear to sit with them at the table because of the cheese, but they say i'm overreacting and refuse to get rid of it or eat the cheese elsewhere, since it's their meal as well as mine. and i completely understand that. until recently, they've respected my wishes and made me cheese-free versions of their cheesy meals. they still want me to eat cheese, saying that i'm really limiting my diet (i'm not) and that it's just a phase (two thirds of my life?) but i can kind of put up with that kind of pressure. it's not a big deal for me.

anyway, every week we have a family dinner, all of us together. my family made tacos. i was really pleased, since my family refuse to eat anything 'foreign' due to their hate of anything they deem 'foreign'. also, it was spicy, and i love spice but they hate it. then, at the end of the dinner, they confessed that they had put cheese in the meal to prove that i 'could eat it'. the spice was there to hide the flavour. they were all conspiring to do this for ages to 'make me grow up' and 'realise that cheese isn't bad'.

i feel really betrayed. i feel like they betrayed my trust. i've told them so many times cheese makes me feel ill. i told them that i wouldn't eat any more food they cook me since i can't trust them, and they got really angry and said that i was overreacting and being ungrateful.

so, am i the asshole? i mean, the cheese didn't make me feel ill and i CAN eat it, and i know it's just a mental thing rather than an allergy, but i feel like they should still respect my wishes. i'm probably overreacting, but i just feel like i can't trust what they say any more, since they've lied over something that's kinda important to me.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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onestepbackwards · 3 months

Text

Love That Bites Pt. 11

Hi! Here's part 11 to my Dracula x Reader series! I apologize for the huge delay, I've had a lot going on IRL, so I haven't has as much time/energy to write as I would have liked. Still, I hope you enjoy! I hope to have more happen in the next chapter as well, hopefully some action! Summary: Dracula finally manages to get things running somewhat smoothly, only to run into a snag when it comes to the potions he's had made for you. Thankfully, it isn't as big of a setback as it could be, so long as he can see you beginning to heal. During all of it, he begins to recognize some old feelings...

CW: Injury mention, death mention, brief description of injury, thoughts of murder,

Word Count: 6244 Words!

Like my work? Come support me here! Link Every little bit helps!

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Tag List: @pumpkinvampie, @bethleeham, @mshope16, @sixsixtwenty, @haleypearce, @rvautomatic, @tinystarfishgalaxy, @marshmelloe, @maorizon, @ursamajor17, @sapphicsfordracula, @dame-sunflowers, @sleepyendymion, @starrlo0ver, @onewiththebeanbag First: Here! Last: Here! Next: Here! - - -

Dracula was beginning to wonder just how you had managed to survive so long on your own.

He wasn’t doubting your skills. In fact, Dracula could tell from a glance you were a powerful fighter, much like your ancestors had been. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were one of the strongest Belmonts yet.

No, he was concerned over how you seemed lacking when it came to taking care of yourself.

Sure, you had bandaged yourself on the way to his castle, and he was thankful you seemed to have some sort of survival instinct.

But he noticed you didn’t put in too much effort though in your own health overall.

It wasn’t just from how you came to his castle recently, but something he had noticed long before he had been freed.

After the first few times he saw you, it was clear to him. You would briefly mention your headaches, and your homelife, how you just ‘dealt’ with it.

You had mentioned to him in a joke how even though you had been sick at one point, you just pushed through it while sleeping in your car for a week.

He couldn’t ask you at the time why you did such things, being trapped in stone. Now, he felt it would be counterproductive to ask you. Not until you were comfortable around him.

But it was a horrifying thing you mentioned offhandedly while eating a sandwich, and you refused to elaborate. Why would you put yourself through that?

Add that to his mental list of reasons why he had to investigate your home life. If anything, that was blatantly unhealthy. How the hell was your immune system putting up such a fight on its own if that was how you handled being sick at your home?

How did you handle most injuries before you met him? A part of him really did not wish to find out, but he couldn’t help but feel the desire to know.

Dracula was at least thankful you mentioned a small cabin once. After you had mentioned it while he was stone, you realized what you had said, and were quick to try and change the subject. You had not meant to tell him about it, it seemed.

But he was thankful at least that you had a small place nearby to rest.

At one point throughout the day as he checked in on you, he briefly considered going to see this cabin, or sending a scout to see where it was. However, he dismissed this idea almost as soon as he had thought it.

You’d no doubt be upset if you found out he had done so, and he would be willing to bet you had traps all over the land leading up to your small sanctuary away from your home.

It was only logical to assume so. You had found his castle nearby your own property.

Something he didn’t fail to see irony in. Of course his castle would choose a place nearby a Belmont’s property.

Still, if it had been him in your situation, he would have placed traps on top of traps once finding out such a thing. Sending an underling was just asking for it to either be captured, destroyed, or injured. Or for such information to spread to less enthusiastic minions who were disgruntled about your stay here.

No doubt when you inevitably left, you would check the traps, or at least notice one out of place, if not finding a dead monster's remains on your land. Dracula couldn’t afford to have you lose trust in him just because he was curious.

Yes… Dracula would wait, and put his patience to the test. He’d try to get you to open up to him, and show him yourself.

You already were showing you didn’t detest him, something that was bringing an old warmth to his cold heart.

He’d even wager you opened up to him just a little earlier, when you had mentioned your injuries had been from something personal.

Sure, it wasn’t a large amount of information, but it was progress.

Now, he just had to keep this progress going forward, something Dracula knew was not going to be smooth sailing as he had hoped. There was already unrest in the castle, he could just feel it.

No one had said anything to him, but Dracula was more in tune with his castle and its magic than people gave him credit for. Every being here had energy that was woven with the castle’s in some way shape or form.

And people were anxious.

Some were restless, some were afraid. Many were irritated.

A Belmont being treated as a guest? He knew it would only be a matter of time before someone or something acted out.

Dracula just hoped it wouldn’t be at your expense. He could clean any other mess as need be, but he wouldn’t stand you being injured further.

Alas, he couldn’t act unless someone else acted out first, or he could see they were planning something that involved you. Dracula, loathe as he may to admit it, would only cause more unrest by acting too hastily.

That was fine though, he could bide his time.

The only thing that had him on edge was your current injuries. Or rather, he didn’t want you fighting with your injuries and making them worse, especially after your healing has been progressing nicely.

Speaking of which, You were healing incredibly quickly. If it wasn’t for your lineage, he would have guessed you had some sort of distant supernatural blood in your veins, such as vampirism.

Still, even though you were healing at an impressive rate, it still wasn’t enough. Your injuries by all means could have killed you, and they were still deep and fresh.

His fingers tapped on the wood of his desk in his study, concern no doubt etched clear on his features.

Those potions should be finished today, or at least the first batch of them. The stronger type usually required a longer amount of time to simmer for better healing effects. Time though, was not something he could afford, so a batch of the regular sort would have to do.

Of course, he’d have to thoroughly check them himself after his alchemists were finished. He had not explained who the potions were for when he had ordered it to be done, but now, there was no doubt in his mind the ones creating the potions knew it was for a hunter.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t even trust most of his underlings with this. Even his more trusted ones, he was going to be forced to keep an eye on.

The chances of his alchemists messing with your potions were low, but not impossible. Thankfully, he knew potions very well after studying them centuries ago. Dracula was confident he could catch any ‘unneeded’ ingredients that might slip in the finished batch.

However, he hated that he would have to check.

“How bothersome…” he mumbled as he pressed his face into the palm of one of his hands.

Looking for poison itself wasn’t the issue, it’s something he’ll gladly do. It was the fact this would mean it would take longer to get the potions to you that irritated him.

If the potions were tampered with, like he worried they might be, he’d probably have to make them himself. Something he would also do without pause, but again, he didn’t wish for you to stay injured any longer than necessary.

Dracula rubbed his eyes for a moment, wondering how he had grown so protective of you like a mother hen.

The last time he could remember fretting over someone, was whenever his late wife had gotten sick, or when his son fell ill once or twice.

Back before everything fell apart.

He sighed, feeling another migraine coming on. It wouldn’t do well to think of that now. The less distractions, the better.

At least one good thing came from this. You were receptive to him checking in on you. Dracula doubted you would trust any of his underlings to do it, or at least any of them bringing you meals.

Not without him there to supervise, it seemed.

It was small, but that amount of trust you had in him was a lot for the circumstances.

Dracula felt another sigh escape his lips, and he ignored the temptation to lay his head on his desk like a daydreaming school boy.

What were you doing to him? Had the Great Dracula really fallen for a Belmont?

His eyes widened slightly at his own thoughts.

Fallen? No. Though he detested the idea of admitting he had a schoolboy crush.

He could at least admit he felt fonder for you than some human teenager just figuring themselves out, thank you very much.

Deep down however, thinking about this unsettled him.

Dracula cared for you. He could admit that in his head whole heartedly. Somehow, the Little Belmont had wormed their way into his cold, dead heart without even trying.

But he feared to think about what that meant for him. His life. His future. Your future.

The trust between you two was rocky, but it was there. Could he really push to have you trust him more? Was that really a future he could hope for? Try for? To even care about?

Was it even worth it?

Dracula ran a hand through his hair, and debated summoning another glass of blood to sooth the migraine he could already feel forming in his temples.

Himself and your family had been doomed to fight for centuries. Would even trying to open up the possibilities of at least a friendship be very wise?

Looking from the outside, it seemed like something doomed to fail.

So why did he want to try?

His fingers began to thrum idly on the desk again.

The answer was still the same as before. It was you.

You were different. Different from most Belmonts.

Was wanting to bet on that difference really worth the possible pain? Heartbreak? Potential agony?

Vlad’s eyes drifted over to a portrait that hung in his private study. One depicting his precious Lisa.

Lisa had been worth it, even if his time with her had been so cruelly cut short. He knew her time with her would have been limited, as she had wanted to stay human. It was one of the things that had made her so precious.

One of the few things he regretted was not being there for her when she needed him most. Probably one of his biggest regrets, alongside not being next to Elisabetha when she passed back when he had been human.

So perhaps… This too, would be worth it.

He could not deny that this was a golden opportunity. If, by small chance, he could change fate…

Perhaps he would not have to suffer being killed once more, and this damned cycle between him and your family could finally break.

Dracula was no fool. He was sure this cycle affected your family just as much as it did him. Ever since Leon, almost every Belmont has had to learn to fight creatures of the night. Either to be a hunter, or to avoid simply being the prey.

No doubt not every Belmont liked this, and judging from the small glimpses of your home life he has seen, the Belmont clan seems to have fallen into disrepair.

There was a darkness in your eyes when you spoke about your home, one that had him worrying all over again.

That was something else he was going to have to focus on. Your life at home.

Given that your clan was full of vampire hunters, even if he did by chance get your home’s location, he doubted himself or any of his underlings would be able to get too close. Surveillance wouldn’t be an easy option, or most likely would not be an option at all.

Unless, of course, your family’s home and protections have also deteriorated. Perhaps getting close to the home wouldn’t be as big of an issue.

But alas, he wouldn’t risk most of his underlings finding your home like that. He has a few he trusts, sure, but he couldn’t in good faith let most of them know where you lived.

All it would take is one slip up, and your home would no doubt be swarmed. Even if it wasn’t monsters from his circles, it wouldn’t take much from other groups to learn and decide to exterminate you en masse.

Even if no one could penetrate your home’s defenses, it wouldn’t be hard to stage an ambush to have you assassinated the moment you left your property. Or anyone else that lived with you.

Dracula’s eyes narrowed at that thought. Oh, how that was tempting, just to see those who may have hurt you torn to shreds.

But he had to wait. He’d have vengeance for you one way or another.

Before he could contemplate who he had to murder, he heard a brisk knock at his door. Crimson eyes narrowed, and with his mask slipping back into place, he sat back in his chair.

“Enter.”

Large doors to his study creaked open, and one of the alchemists he had working on your potions stepped into the room. A young man who had answered the Castle’s magical call for power and safety.

The young man before him tried not to tremble under his gaze, barely making eye contact before looking at a different part of the room. Dracula had to hold back an annoyed sigh.

A shame those who could create potions were few and far between, leaving him with such a sniveling fool. At least he could get the job done, along with the few others he had working under him.

“Is the task I set for you and the others finished?” he asked, thrumming his fingers against the desk once again, a bored look on his face.

Swallowing nervously, the alchemist nodded, before remembering he needed to speak.

“Y-Yes, milord. The first batch of potions has finished, but…”

Dracula raised an eyebrow. He was already nearing the end of his patience.

“But?”

The young man flinched, and the vampire tried not to roll his eyes.

“I’m afraid, ah… this batch won’t be that potent, due t-to us having to rush…”

As if Dracula didn’t already anticipate that.

No matter though. What was important was getting you something to fend back the majority of your injuries. Even if it is just enough to help you fight infection and mend a few patches of skin, it was better than nothing.

“I’m aware of the effect of making potions on such short notice. Is that everything?”

For a split second, the alchemist’s heartbeat spiked, and he avoided looking at the Vampire Lord. Dracula forced his face to remain neutral.

How curious.

“That’s everything, sir.”

Almost immediately, the shadows in the room crawled forward, and the temperature dropped a noticeable amount.

Dracula stood up from his chair to his full height, and leaned over his desk. His claws dug into the wood, and his eyes grew black and red.

“Tell me, Alchemist, why are you lying to me?”

A squeak left the young man’s lips, and he physically shrunk in on himself. No one wanted to be on Dracula’s bad side.

“I don’t tolerate liars in my court.”

The Alchemist fell backwards onto the floor in a scramble, and shuffled backwards a few feet. The door magically shut behind him, and he looked as if he were to faint.

Dracula felt the air grow heavy around him, and the pathetic man in front of him began to pant and shake.

“Now, what is it you are hiding from me?”

The threat was clear as day. Should the young man in front of him lie, or do something foolish, he would not live to see tomorrow.

Swallowing thickly, the Alchemist shakily stood to his feet.

“I… As I was finishing up my batch of potions, I overheard a few of the witches talking.”

Dracula had the tension in the air lesson to a degree. The boy in front of him was willing to speak, so he may as well not make it too difficult, lest the coward faint.

Though he made sure his displeasure was apparent.

“Go on.” Eyes darted between him and other parts of the room, the Alchemist shrunk in on himself further before speaking.

“I… I overheard them talking about how they think the hunter has bewitched you. That the hunter is going to kill you, and everyone involved.”

Dracula wanted to scoff. Just mild gossip. He wasn’t surprised it was already making the rounds, though he’d have to keep an eye on it lest it fester into something unmanageable without conflict.

Rumors and resentment building would only cause unrest, and the less he had to deal with, the better.

“And just who were the witches who were discussing this?” The man swallowed. “I don’t know.” “So you didn’t think to get a look on who it might be?” He shook his head, fingers twitching idly.

“No sir. But…”

Dracula could feel the throbbing in his temples. Perhaps he should summon some wine…

“...The witches talked about wanting to do something before it was too late.”

Now that caught Dracula’s attention.

“They what?!”

The Alchemist winced, though straightened up a little now that Dracula’s ire wasn’t entirely directed at him.

“I-I have no evidence, nor was I able to follow them, but- I think some of them might be planning something, sir.”

The room’s temperature dropped further, and at the moment, the Alchemist felt like his soul left his body.

Dracula was well known for his fury.

How his anger was icy, yet his fury ran hot.

“Planning something?”

His voice was low, in a way that was like a growl. Like a predator readying to bite down on the neck of its prey. It was inviting, yet it had the survival instincts of anything around him screaming to run.

The wind picked up around the castle, and lightning began to strike across the clouded sky. The flashes of light only seemed to emphasize the anger on his face.

Briefly, The King of the Night hoped you weren’t bothered by the pick up of the storm. Surely you’d notice the change in atmosphere…

But that was something he could check in with you later.

“And do you happen to know just what they might be planning? Or which ones it even was?”

Dracula’s mind was beginning to work overtime. Which witches lingered near the Alchemy lab? He's going to have to do a sweep it seemed, and soon. At least Castlevania would give him some insight should he ask for it.

If some of his underlings were already conspiring against him…

The boy in front of him was eerily silent, and Dracula held back from snapping. Killing the fool wouldn’t solve any of his issues, especially as he needed him for now.

Then, a thought suddenly hit Dracula, and he sat back into his seat, his claws growing sharper.

“Boy, where is the finished batch of potions?”

The Alchemist froze for a moment, taken aback by the sudden question.

“Um… In the labs?”

Dracula’s eyes sharpened, almost glowing red.

“And is there anyone or anything protecting the finished batch of potions in the labs?”

“Ah…”

Running a hand across his face, Dracula fought the urge to kill something.

He was going to need that drink before visiting you.

—

Much to Dracula’s disappointment (and hidden fury), it was just as he had expected.

He had decided to check on the batch of the potion himself after that conversation, just to be sure it hadn’t been tampered with.

It was something he was already going to do, but now it was incredibly important to do so after hearing what the Alchemist had to say.

Just as he had feared, the main batch that had been left out had indeed been soiled.

The potion itself was a darker blue than it should have been, a first tell that something wasn’t quite right. Then there was the smell.

Potions already smelled a bit bland, with a hint of bitterness to them. However, he was able to catch the scent of something almost sour.

The texture itself was also a bit… thick. Closer to a cream rather than the liquid form it was supposed to have.

Dracula felt his brow twitch with thinly veiled disdain.

With a sigh, and barely hidden rage, he ended up banishing the whole batch. No point in taste testing when he could already smell the signs of tampering. The only thing he would be able to get out of a test would be what ingredients specifically had been added, but there was no point. Not when he already knew the results.

It seems he would have to keep a closer eye on things than he thought.

Even if the alchemists and potioneers he had working on this were as trustworthy as they could get, it seemed that there was only so much he could do before the rats began to poke their noses where they didn't belong.

As much as he hated to section off parts of the lab, it seems he would have to until you were healed, or he found all the idiots involved who dared try and pull a fast one on him.

Thankfully however, not everything was lost.

Dracula was thankful that moment for employing several alchemists to the lab for different batches of potions. He could just take from those, since they would have a similar effect.

The other alchemists were to keep working on different batches of potions, so he could have stronger ones brewing while the first batch was finished. This meant there would be less powerful ones, sure, but he would simply have more made.

What mattered was getting this first batch to you.

You may be healing relatively quickly and well, but he was quickly growing to dislike seeing you injured.

The shadows under your eyes, and how sunken in your face looked, added to your winces of pain… He hoped that he could help with that by taking care of your wounds.

It would be a long journey, he was sure. No doubt it would take more than just healing your injuries to actually have you looked… alive.

That was what had his cold, undead heart beating worriedly in his chest.

You didn’t look like you were living.

Sure, your blood pumped, your heart still beats, but you didn’t have a happy light in your eyes. Dracula could mistake you for one of his minions with how those eyes alone looked.

He was thankful though, seeing a spark in them. It was subtle, and only showed up on occasion.

However, he found himself yearning to protect it.

Ha. Him. Lord of the Night. King of all Vampires, wanting to protect his own supposed enemy. Even more so, with such… feelings developing.

Dracula still wasn’t sure whether to find it amusing, or pitiful.

The beast in his mind that he had embraced so long ago surprisingly didn’t fight him on it. At first, it had called him pathetic the first time he found himself wanting to help you.

But that same beast had quickly done a 180, quickly growing to respect you much like his logical side had.

And oh, how it had quickly grown protective.

Dracula felt his lips almost twitch upward at the thought, feeling the very same protectiveness stir in his soul as he approached your door.

He gave a brisk knock at the door, casting a brief glance to the living armors he had stationed near your room. Stone still as always.

After a brief moment, he heard your voice, telling him to come in.

Carefully he opened the door, and it was as if a weight was lifted off his chest just seeing you. The way you subtly perked up when seeing him, sitting up in your bed…

He tried not to let his pride get to him, how it was him that you were sitting up for.

‘One step at a time, Vlad.’

The scent of your blood though soon quickly caught his nose, and he felt himself stand straighter as he walked quickly to your side.

“Your injuries… did one re-open?” He was quick to ask, internally scolding himself when he felt the urge to have a taste.

For a Belmont, your blood was still such an intoxicating scent…

Sheepishly, you looked away from him after he arrived at your side.

“Ah… I fell on the way to the restroom. I accidentally pulled some stitches open, but I got the wound under control.”

If he had been a human, he would have sworn you were trying to give him a heart attack at this rate. How was it you were such a trouble magnet?

Gently, he leaned over you, his hands hovering over where your shirt was. Underneath, he could already smell the irritated wound and fresh blood.

His eyes met your own.

“May I?” He asked, desiring to see how bad it had gotten. His voice was soft and tender, not wishing to push you or make you uncomfortable.

You froze for a moment, and a glimmer of emotion passed in your eyes. However, it left as quick as it came, and you carefully pulled your arms up to give him access.

Even now, Dracula was still incredibly impressed with the trust you were giving him. If this had been any of your ancestors, or any hunter, really, he would no doubt be in a fight.

Gently, his cool hands brushed against your warm skin as he lifted your shirt upwards to see the bandaged wound. He pointedly ignored the shiver you have, no doubt his cold hands most likely the cause.

At least, that’s what he told himself, also ignoring how you tensed slightly. Or how he heard your pulse pick up as he got closer.

It was not the time to let his mind wander and theorize.

Dracula would give you credit, though. Your pain tolerance wasn’t anything to scoff at, and you were taking everything in stride, even now.

He removed the bandages with a gentle ease, and immediately internally stomped down the sudden hunger he felt.

The fresh scent of your blood still somehow managed to drive him crazy, even when he wasn’t starving.

To think he’d find a Belmont’s blood so appealing?

It took a bit of his will power to calm himself, before continuing to look at the wound. Pursing his lips, he let out a hum.

His hands held your midsection still as he observed the new damage, ignoring your sharp intake of air.

“Apologies…” He mumbled, knowing full and well his hands were most likely even colder the closer they were to your feverish flesh.

“No worries…” You breathed, your voice small. His eyes flickered up to your face, and your own were wide as you watched him. Still vigilant, even now. Cute.

Eyes back on your wound, he felt a bit of relief. Thankfully you hadn’t torn open as many stitches as he had feared, and you had cleaned the wound up well.

It seems getting rest and meals was helping you both physically, and mentally. You weren��t hanging on a thread, wrapping wounds with little regard to your life now.

Really, he shouldn’t be surprised. Even if he was worried about how you thought of yourself and your health in general, you of all people would know how to properly wrap a wound when in good conditions to do so.

After a moment, he pressed the bandages back onto your injury, and stepped back.

“Despite several stitches being pulled, it could have been worse.”

You pull your shirt down, and smile sheepishly.

“That’s good. It didn’t look too bad, but I’m glad you agree.” You spoke, rubbing the back of your neck a bit nervously.

It seemed you were still on edge, though he didn’t mind too much.

He looked you over for a moment as you fixed your shirt. You really were looking better than when you first arrived. Even from when he saw you this morning, you seemed to be improving.

At least, he was definitely thankful you no longer looked like you were dead on your feet.

Clearing his throat for a moment, he nearly smirked at how you almost jumped. Most would have missed how your muscles tensed, though he decided to count the fact he wasn’t outright scaring you a plus.

“I have something for you.”

Immediately your interest was piqued.

How you subtly leaned towards him and tilted your head, you were curious.

“You do?”

He stepped back for a moment, before holding out his hand. In a flash of smoke and light, a bottle appeared in his hand.

As he held it out to you, your eyes widened as you gently took it from his grip.

“A potion? You really made some?”

Dracula crossed his arms a bit in pride as you looked over the bottle.

“Of course. You’ll find I am not fond of breaking promises, or going back on my word.”

You took a moment to look over the bottle you now held in your hands, almost disbelieving. Dracula felt a pang of something in his heart. Pity? Worry? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like how astounded you looked over the fact he would get you some basic potions.

“I do apologize in advance. Due to the fact your injuries were severe, I had this made as fast as possible. It won’t heal you completely, but it should heal the worst of your wounds.”

For a moment, you were silent, clearly thinking.

“If you are worried about it being poisoned-” he began, but you raised a hand to cut him off.

“No! No, it’s fine. Sorry. I trust it isn’t poisoned.” You spoke. After another moment, you pulled the cork off the bottle, and debated if you should take a sip.

“However, I do wish to warn you about something.” Dracula said, speaking before you could drink it. He may as well tell you now, before you take a drink. No doubt you’d be upset if he told you after.

You froze, looking at him expectantly.

“Yes…?”

Dracula let out a frustrated sigh, a hand coming up to his forehead just thinking about it.

“Someone has tried to tamper with one of the batches of potions I have commissioned to be made.”

Your eyes widened, flickering to the potion, but he held up a hand to try and calm you before you could panic.

“I tossed that batch out after testing it myself. I can assure you the potion you hold in your hand has been deemed clean by myself personally. That one you hold in your hand was not supposed to go to you today. It was a batch that was supposed to simmer for a few more days.”

“To become a stronger batch…” You murmured, and Dracula felt a small twinge of pride. He supposes it shouldn’t be a surprise you would know such things, given how often you probably used potions in general.

“So… Someone wanted me dead…?” You asked, still eyeing the bottle critically. Dracula’s face turned a bit more sour.

“Unfortunately so. I will not lie to you, having you as my guest has… ruffled some feathers. I’m currently investigating those I believe tried to lace the potion with poison.”

Bright eyes flickered to him, and he caught that look, one of near disbelief.

“Why? I don’t particularly blame them, I’m a hunter, after all…” You murmured once again, eyes glancing back to the bottle.

“Because you are my guest. I will not tolerate those who wish to go against my orders, and attempt to kill the company I deemed worthy to keep.”

Dracula wondered if you weren’t used to such thoughts, with the way he saw emotions flicker across your face, gone as quick as they came.

Summoning a chair from the side of the room, he sat down, placing his elbows on his knees as he rested his chin over his clasped hands.

“If you don’t wish to drink that potion, I will not force you. It will just take a longer period for you to fully recover. I will not blame you for doing so.”

After all, he just admitted someone tried to use a different batch to kill you. He wouldn’t blame you for being careful.

You seemed to think for a moment, and Dracula decided to keep speaking as you thought about it.

“I also wish to officially inform you that unrest is beginning to stir in the castle. However,” Dracula began, taking in your expression of slight alarm, “I once again wish to reiterate something. You are allowed to protect yourself. I will not vilify you if you defend yourself from an attack.”

It was the truth. He had means to see if it was self defense, or a planned attack. He doubted you would attack unprompted.

You look at him a bit confused.

“But… How would you know it was self defense? The monsters who want me dead could just lie as a group, right?”

Dracula felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards. You had clearly been thinking about this, though he could tell it was something that must have weighed on your mind.

Not so much you thinking you could get away with attacking his subordinate, rather, you were worried about being attacked and thinking ahead.

He felt his lips curl into a small, amused smirk.

“I have my ways of figuring out what happens throughout my castle without being present.”

It was through his close connection with Castlevania, really.

Thanks to his connection, he was able to loosely figure out just who had tampered with your potions. Needless to say, it wasn’t hard to get the two witches to admit it, with how weak willed they were.

His castle was now a few witches less. Not that it mattered.

It wasn’t all of them, he was sure. Dracula still had a bit of investigating to do. The two he disposed of were just the ones who admitted to it, and Dracula could tell more were involved. No doubt he would be busy later looking further into the matter.

Some certainly weren’t happy with him, but alas, that was what happened when you attempted to hurt those he was protecting.

You seemed a bit skeptical, or perhaps curious?

“Um… Is it through the power of Chaos you can?”

As soon as you asked it, a worried look appeared on your face.

“Uh, if that isn’t too personal of a question, I mean…?”

He almost wanted to laugh. You were trying to be respectful, unsure if that was too much information to ask for.

“Trying to figure out a way to one up your enemy, hm?” He asked, though his lips ticked upwards in a full grin, clearly teasing you. Dracula could tell that wasn’t what you meant.

“No! That’s not what I-! I didn’t- fuck, I mean-”

It was adorable how you sputtered, and tried to catch your words to apologize.

“Relax, I’m only teasing you. Yes, it’s partially through the power of Chaos. Though Castlevania itself is bound to my very soul. Not much gets past me, should the castle alert me about it.”

You instantly relaxed at his words, and seemed to perk up in interest.

Once again, your eyes flickered to the bottle in your hand.

“Is that how you found out the last potion was poisoned?”

Dracula hummed, leaning back in the chair.

“No. One of my Alchemists alerted me to the fact several witches were discussing how they were… unhappy about your presence. I decided to check on the potion early, even if it was finished. I simply had my castle assist me in finding out who had done it.”

Silence filled the room once more. It seemed you were unsure what you wanted to say next.

After a beat passed, you looked back at him.

“Thank you, then. For checking. And for giving this to me.”

Your voice was soft, as was your smile.

If Dracula still breathed, he just knows his breath would have caught in his throat.

That was a smile that was worth protecting.

After you thanked him, you brought the bottle to your lips, and began to drink down the potion.

The effect was almost immediate. Even if he couldn’t see most of your wounds, he could see how you changed.

You no longer favored one side, leaning oddly to the left. Nor did you hold your arm as close as before. In fact, your body seemed to relax even further, now that the worst of the injuries were finally repairing from the magic treatment.

When you finished the drink, you pulled the bottle away from your lips, a disgusted look on your face presumably due to the taste. You coughed for a moment, and shook your head a bit.

After gathering your bearings, you then looked back up to Dracula, and truly smiled.

For once, you looked happy. You looked alive.

Yes, Dracula thought. Pursuing a future where you two don’t have to fight, would be one worth aiming for, just to see you smile once more.

#castlevania #dracula #castlevania dracula #vlad dracula tepes #dracula x reader #castlevania x reader #vlad dracula țepeș #x reader #reader insert #Belmont!reader #love that bites #long post #zed.writes

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synthsamuri · 4 months

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Fanfics of the Year

As holidays roll around, I thought it'd be fun to throw out some of my favorite 19 day fics from this year! I've never done a fic recommendation post before, can you believe!? Reblog or comment and throw out some of your faves too! I'd love to see them and share their work around! 1. unstoppable force // immovable object by welcome2atlantis How is this both angsty and so funny at all once. Truly a work of art and I love the dynamic between He Tian and Mo in this one. The character growth is immaculate. 2. Open the door (it'll make you feel better) by Anonymous

Wow, the writing in this is seriously top notch work. I felt immediately drawn in to these vivid feelings between characters. I also feel like this author brings out an interesting dynamic between Zhan Zhengxi and Mo in particular that I really found myself enjoying.

3. desecration by Fayre

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this one. Fayre is such talanted writer and if you haven't read their other works, do yourself a favor and dive in. This fic though! My emotions can barely handle it, and I love it.

4. Bites by Asfodel

Another one I have to mention and another writer I recommend. This one had some surprisingly soft moments that nearly made me cry. It just feels so intimate.

5. Devil's On Your Shoulder (Strangers In Your Head) by ineffablefluff

As a big fantasy lover I have to mention this one. This writer creates a scene and drags you in. It's adventurous, bold, and heart wrenching.

6. The Edger by Elaine (LumCheng), rainy19days

A really fun format going back and forth between writers and characters. This is one of the more recent ones I've been reading and its sexy, funny, romantic, and just incredibly enjoyable.

7. fever dream by figglypudding

I could honestly put several on this list from this writer. I love a good sick fic, and thats exactly what this is.

8. get what you get by powerandpathos

This one is one chapter and every word is perfection. I would honestly take a whole series of this. It was written so well and the emotions are handled so well.

9. My Shelter by Mrs_Tears

Mo goes through some serious trauma and finds comfort in He Tian. What else is there to say? It's perfect!

I could honestly add so many more. Truly grateful to have such great writers in this fandom!

#19 days #19 days fanfiction

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to-thelakes · 3 months

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sick day (well... sick month)

pairing; frank castle x fem!reader

summary; after yet another doctor's appointment, frank takes care of his sick - and frustrated - girlfriend

warnings; fluffy as hell, mentions of medication, discussions of eczema and being sick with the flu, brief mention of guns

notes; this is my first time posting my one-shots on tumblr so hello! i've done a little bit of posting on ao3 but i've always been a little scared to post here but here i am! now, this fic, it is a purely self-indulgent fluffy fic and it's the first in my fluffbruray fics. i'm hoping to do a fic every day of this month but i'm in uni and about to start a new job so whether that will happen is anyone's guess! but this fic is just some frank fluff because i've been going through a bunch of health issues and i needed the comfort from my favourite big bad punisher <3 i did proof-read it but it's not beta-read or anything so apologies for any grammar mistakes! i hope you enjoy <3

ao3

When you trudged back into the apartment after your appointment at the clinic, Frank could tell something was wrong. He had been cleaning up his guns at the table when he heard the door close. There was no call of his name or any sort of greeting; only a quiet shuffle of shoes being discarded and your coat being hung up. A frown was quick to spread across his face as he pushed the chair back, walking to meet you in the hallway.

“Everythin’ alright, sweetheart?” He asked. You looked up at him, tears welling in your eyes as you shook your head. He frowned but was quick to wrap you up into a hug. Your face buried in his strong chest as you sniffled.

“Apparently it’s normal and there’s nothing they can do to help me,” You mumbled against the fabric of his shirt. It smelt like him and that seemed to make it all so much better. Frank sighed and he used one of his hands to cradle the back of your head. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you somehow closer.

“We’ll figure something out, yeah?” He said. You sniffled before nodding your head. You didn’t know what you were going to do. It had been over a month and you didn’t feel any better. It was exhausting. When you had gotten the flu, you hadn’t expected to still feel the effects now. You’d never had it before and you were at the point where you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Your health had plummeted and it was infuriating.

It also didn’t help that your new-found eczema had spread to your nose. You had done everything that the doctor had told you yet he still seemed out to punish you. You had never felt more disgusting and your nose hurt constantly. The constant dripping and blocking from when you had the flu would go away with time - apparently - but you didn’t really believe that at this point.

“I’m so tired,” You mumbled. Frank sighed and he pressed a kiss to your hair before pulling back. He cupped your face with his hands, looking into your eyes.

“You put the cream on yet?” He asked, his voice was gruff but soft. You shook your head and he nodded, glancing back at the table. The gun was still in parts but you were more important to him right now so he slipped his hand into yours, “Let me help ya put it on.” You nodded and he led you over to the bathroom. You stripped your jeans off and he grabbed the cream from where you had left it the night before.

“At least my leg is getting better,” You muttered, attempting to be optimistic. Frank smiled at you, glad to see some of your normal self coming back to the surface. He couldn’t pretend that it hadn’t broken his heart seeing how crushed you had been recently. Getting out of bed for work had been a struggle every day but you had managed to do it and he was proud of you.

“Attagirl.” That familiar grin had spread across his face and you couldn’t help but smile back; though that made your nose hurt.

The cold winter air had made the eczema on your nose sting on your walk back to the apartment but you knew that it would be okay as soon as the cream was on.

“Put your leg up,” He said once he had gotten down on one knee. He patted his thigh and you lifted your foot up, resting it there. He squeezed a fingertip of cream onto his finger before spreading it across the marks on the side of your thighs. It didn’t tingle as much as it had the first few times you put it on but there was still an uncomfortable feeling that lingered.

“He said that the flu probably caused the eczema, not my medication,” You said after a beat of silence. Frank had switched out to the moisturiser now and was spreading it across the underside of your thigh as you spoke. Frank scoffed and lifted his hand away from your leg, tapping your calf. You put your leg down.

“Course,” He commented. You could tell by the look on his face as he clambered back to his feet that he didn’t believe that. You didn’t really either. Frank cleaned his hands off before reaching for the steroid cream again.

“He still dropped the dosage but I dunno,” You mumbled, not entirely sure what you were trying to say. You just felt frustrated and it felt like nobody was really taking you seriously. You knew something was wrong and maybe it was just your medication but it still felt frustrating that nobody seemed to care enough to talk through everything with you.

“One step at a time,” He mumbled and you nodded. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub and you moved to stand between his thighs as he angled your face towards him. He then spread the small dot of cream onto your nostril where the eczema had begun to spread.

“Thank you,” You said after a moment. Frank switched out for the moisturiser again and began to dab across your nose. He was being careful. He knew how sensitive your face was at the moment and he didn’t want to cause you any more pain.

“Anytime, sweetheart,” He responded before letting go of your face. The cream would take a few minutes to soak in but then there would at least be some relief from the aching pain. He leant forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead before you stepped out of the way.

“I’ll make us lunch,” You suggested. Frank switched the taps on and nodded, washing his hands off, “Pasta?” A grin spread across Frank’s face - replacing the previously stoic look - and you knew that it was a yes. You chuckled, stepping towards him to press a kiss to his cheek before you disappeared out of the bathroom.

Frank had always been a pasta lover and it was the reason you had met him.

The first time you met the Big Bad Punisher, Frank had stumbled through your window - half-dead - while you were cooking one of your mum’s pasta dishes. It had been famous in your home town for how good it was and it seemed to have drawn Frank Castle in just like it had your dad to your mum all those years ago. Looking back, the scenario was amusing. But at the time, not so much.

Frankly, you had been terrified considering that the Punisher was standing in your living room demanding pasta while he was bleeding on your carpet. Initially, you had stood there frozen but then Frank nearly collapsed and you spent the night feeding him pasta and tending to his wounds. You remembered the next morning that Frank was gone and so were the leftovers. You had tried to be mad but it was somehow endearing.

You hadn’t expected to see him again but you did when you were cooking that pasta again. He had come knocking on your window and part of you wanted to berate him for stealing the leftovers but you didn’t have the heart to. The fact that you were now dating Frank still confused you sometimes. He was meant to be a terrifying, menacing murderer and yet when he was around you, he was nothing but attentive, loving and devoted.

Maybe it was the pasta is something you often mused but Frank assured you that he loved you for a lot more than your pasta. There was a sense of safety with him and just as you were finished collecting all your ingredients for the meal, he appeared, wrapping his arms around you.

“Feelin’ better, sweetheart?” He asked. You nodded and leant back into hold.

“Much.” He grinned and kissed your face once more before he let you return back to your cooking. He loved to watch you work.

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #the punisher #frank castle x you #frank castle fluff #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x female reader #the punisher fluff #the punisher x reader #fluffbruary #reader-insert

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turtletaubwrites · 5 months

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I Knew It Would Hurt ~ Part 9

Pairings: Zoro x Fem!Reader, Sanji x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4,715

This is part 9 of the Series 'We've All Got Needs,' linked below:

We've All Got Needs Masterlist

Ao3 Series Link

Summary: You're waiting for the boys to make their decision. Waiting is really fucking hard.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Fem!Reader, 18+ Only, MDNI, Reader-Insert, Smut, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Relationship Discussions, Relationship Drama, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Penis in Vagina Sex, I left out some tags to avoid spoilers but there’s nothing crazy if you’ve read this far already

A/N: Here's another rollercoaster, and it's the longest one so far! I'm super grateful for all of your interactions with this story. I've loved turning that little smut scene into this fun character dynamic, and I really hope you enjoy this next installment. Thank you!!

A soft knock at the door woke you, and for a moment you felt fine. Then you remembered.

“I’ve got your breakfast, can I come in?”

Nami frowned when she saw you. She set your plate down on your desk, then pulled you into a hug.

“This whole thing seems like a lot of work. I’m here if you need me, okay?”

“Thanks, Nami. All I wanted to do was take a long shower, and now I might be breaking up with two people I’m not actually with.”

“Gotta be careful about those showers, they can fuck you up.”

You gave a laugh that might have been a sob before squeezing her tighter.

“Love you.”

She pulled away, but grabbed your shoulders, leaning her face toward yours.

“Love ya too, weirdo. What do you need today?”

“Um, can you bring me my field notes? Chopper knows where they are. I’m just gonna work in here today, I’m not ready to people.”

“Of course. I can bring you your other meals too if you want.”

Sighing as you nodded, memories of recent times in the kitchen fought you as you tried to shove them down.

“Luffy really thinks you’re sick now.”

“He might not be far off. I feel like shit.”

After Nami came back to drop off lunch later, another knock came, freezing you on the spot.

“Hi, it’s Robin.”

You cringed a bit, embarrassed for her to see you like this, but you let her in. Her eyes combed over you, lips pursing as she stepped inside. She kept a noticeable distance between you.

“Y/N, I came to apologize. I shouldn’t have been pushing you like this, I knew you were overwhelmed already. I’m so sorry I added to your struggle.”

“No, Robin, it's okay. You helped me! I really needed to hear what you said.”

Robin let out a breath, but her brows were still tensed. She looked down at the ground before meeting your eyes again.

“I shouldn’t have pushed myself on you. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Her normally steady eyes looked heavy, a sight she rarely shows.

Reaching for her hand, you felt a gentle smile warming your face.

“I’m not sorry.”

Her lips curled up just a bit, and she squeezed your fingers gently.

“I’m so glad to hear that… How about we wait on that date until everything settles?”

You almost argued that you didn’t need to wait, but you realized that you did.

“Thank you, Robin.”

She brushed a strand of hair from your face, and you breathed in her lovely scent.

“Thank you, Y/N. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll do what I can to calm the rest of the crew.”

The comfort that Robin's presence left you with made you feel safer, warmer.

But it was as if that feeling of safety made room for your body to feel the rest.

Sitting at your desk staring at your field notes, your vision started to blur. You had to close your journal to keep tears from staining your monographs.

You kept your sobs silent, not wanting anyone to hear. Then you remembered why you’d gotten so good at keeping your screams quiet lately. You had to cover your mouth as you choked, louder sobs escaping you now.

Why did I do this to myself? I knew it would hurt. Just not this much, not so fast. I should have stopped.

But you hated that thought. The thought of not enjoying the short time you’d had with both of them. The pleasures, the laughter, the growing warmth. You didn’t want to lose any of it, even if it would hurt less.

You tried not to think about what choice they would make. The only one you wanted felt selfish. You’d get to have everything.

And if you didn’t get to have everything, then it would be nothing. You knew that even if one of the boys chose to leave, and one wanted to stay, you couldn’t continue with only one. There was too much heat between all three of you. You knew it would drive an even bigger wedge between them, potentially tearing them, and the crew apart.

I can’t do that.

So it was all or nothing, and your body was preparing you for the worst.

A knock shook you from your spiral and you moved to the door, expecting Nami. Wiping your tears and shaking your arms, you checked.

“Who is it?”

“Hi, Y/N. I’ve got your dinner, and I didn’t eat any of it.”

Your eyes went wide, but you let your captain in.

“Thank you, Luffy.”

He walked right in, setting your plate on your desk before plopping on your bed.

You stared, not sure what to say. He pointed to your desk chair, and you felt suddenly terrified as you sat and faced him. He watched you like he was sizing you up.

“Robin told me and Chopper why you’ve been weird.”

“O-Oh?”

“I’m the captain, Y/N. I need to know my crew is okay.”

Fear iced through you, and you stared into your lap. He should kick me off the crew. I’m splintering his best fighters, endangering everyone.

His hand stretched toward you, and he touched your shoulder until you met his eyes.

“It all seems a little crazy to me.”

You let out a near panicked laugh before you caught yourself.

“Yeah, me too.”

“But you care about them?”

His deep eyes looked so soft, his voice intense.

“I do.”

Nodding, he crossed his arms.

“They care about you too, Y/N.”

You felt your lips shaking, heat rising in your throat.

“As long as you care about each other, and keep fighting for your dreams, I’m happy.”

Hot tears spilled down your cheeks as Luffy started to smile.

“Can you be happy too?”

Your lips pulled into a strained smile as you tried to stop your tears.

“I’ll get there, Luffy. It’s just rough right now. But I’m glad you’re my captain.”

Luffy was beaming at you now, then stretched to ruffle your hair. He leaned toward you, and whispered softly.

“Will you keep giving me the extra food Sanji makes you?”

You burst out laughing, and Luffy’s smile stretched even wider.

“Yes, captain!”

Luffy grabbed you in a hug, twirling you as much as he could in the small quarters. This is family.

As he left he gave you one more serious look.

“Y/N, please tell me next time something is hurting you. I’m your captain and I need to know.”

“I promise, Luffy.”

All the emotions of the day had you feeling empty, but now it was more pleasantly numb. Your biggest fear of losing your place on this crew, in this family, those fears were shrinking away from you. Soft tears of relief left your eyes now, and you tried to comfort yourself against the hurt of losing Zoro and Sanji. At least I won’t lose them completely.

That thought brought back more of the pain, but you shook it off. It was getting late, and you wanted to get some air. Steeling yourself, you picked up your dishes and went down the hall, hoping to sneak them into the galley before sitting out on deck.

You crept against the wall, listening to check if Sanji was inside or not before heading in.

But you heard two low voices.

“You don’t know her like I do.”

“I care about her, Marimo. I care about her enough to share her with you. Can you say the same?”

You tried to force your body to turn around, to head back to your room, but all you could focus on was not shaking the plate and silverware in your hands.

Your heart was in your throat, and you felt faint as you waited for what felt like hours for his response.

“Yeah, I can, idiot cook.”

A gasping sob escaped you, and you tried to cover your mouth. Instead, you dropped your dishes, the plate shattering at your bare feet. You stared at the broken porcelain, and started laughing hysterically.

“Y/N!”

They both rushed out, concern in their eyes.

“Are you hurt?” “You okay?”

You were too out of it to respond, and kept laughing as they both tried to lift you. Zoro won, lifting you in his arms, while Sanji brushed along your feet and legs, checking for glass.

Your breathing slowed as you felt Zoro’s racing heart, and you felt like you could fall asleep in his arms. He carried you into the kitchen while Sanji swept up the broken plate.

Zoro placed you gingerly in the booth, his brows furrowed as he looked you over.

“Needy, please. Are you okay?”

You smiled at the nickname, and looked at them both as Sanji joined you at the table.

“I’m okay.”

Neither of them seemed convinced, but you couldn’t explain the rush of relief and happiness that had just torn through your already overwhelmed system. But you tried.

“I didn’t mean to. But I heard you.”

You felt your lips quivering again as they both seemed to soften.

“It’s okay if you still need some time to think-”

“I don’t need time my love-” “I’m good, Needy-”

Your cheeks hurt from the smile that stretched your face, especially when they both grinned back at you.

Then your mouth stretched further into the biggest, loudest yawn you’d ever felt.

“You need some sleep-” “Let’s get you to bed, dear-”

Zoro went to lift you, but Sanji tapped his shoulder.

“You just carried her, It’s my turn now.”

“I’m not letting a pervert cook into her bedroom when she needs to rest.”

“Boys,” you commanded with another yawn. “Flip a coin or something please, I’m tired.”

Your yawns were mixed with tired giggles while you saw them rustling through their pockets. Sanji’s satisfied laugh, and Zoro’s grumble gave away the winner.

Sanji lifted you gently, and you smelled cigarette smoke and spices on his jacket. Zoro followed close, opening the door, and hovering while Sanji set you in bed, drawing the covers over you.

“Good night, darling-” “Good night, Needy-”

“Night, boys…”

A soft knock woke you, and for a moment you felt all that sadness. Then you remembered.

You sat straight up in bed, hoping that it wasn’t a dream.

“Who-Who is it?”

“Your favorite navigator, lazybones. Do you want to come to breakfast?”

You jumped out of bed, stumbling.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out!”

Your reflection looked dazed, and you slapped your cheeks a few times, laughing. You hurried to get ready, and had to stop yourself from racing down the hall.

Everyone was there, already digging into their plates. They all turned to stare at you with teasing, or cheesy faces. Your face flushed, and you bit your lip before climbing into the empty spot Zoro had saved for you. You were next to him at the edge of the table, where Sanji stepped up to bring you what looked like a mimosa with tangerine blossoms for a garnish.

“Hey, why don’t I get one of those?”

“Apologies Nami, dear. I will whip one up for you right away. Would you like one as well, Robin?”

“That sounds lovely, Sanji.”

“Hey, don’t hog the booze, waiter. Make me one of those too.”

“You haven’t earned it, moss hea-”

Everyone's clamoring voices died down as you burst out laughing, almost hysterical, but so full of joy and relief.

Luffy grinned, stretching to hit your arm lightly with his fist, Chopper looked confused, Usopp was asking Sanji for his own mimosa, and Nami and Robin laughed with you.

The boys had stopped arguing, and were both staring at you. Until your skin flushed red again, and your laughter hiccuped and faded.

“Ugh. I love you, Y/N, but this is gonna get annoying real fast.”

You stuck your tongue out at Nami as she winked, and fell into quiet joy while you tried to listen to the group.

Sanji kept bringing you delicious gifts, and you’d wink at Luffy so he could snag them. Each time Sanji came your way he would give you a soft peck on the forehead, or shoulder, or knuckles.

A low grumble moved through Zoro, but all he did was wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his warmth.

Feeling like you were going to pass out, you didn’t even hear most of what the crew were saying while they teased you.

You caught yourself doing your happy food wiggle dance, and couldn’t seem to stop, even humming now and then. The crew left the three of you there, and you didn’t hear their goodbyes, just beamed lazily at them.

Sanji brought his plate to the table, and cleared his throat until Zoro begrudgingly scooted over, dragging you with him to make room on the bench. Sanji winked at you before diving into his meal, and you just sat there wiggling, out of your mind.

“I knew you were fuckin’ needy.”

You laughed while Sanji spluttered, and you patted his knee to calm him.

“What do you mean, Zoro,” you smirked up at him, teasing.

“You know what I mean. So fucking spoiled.”

“Don’t listen to him, angel. You deserve to be spoiled, to be-”

Another bout of hysterical laughter left you, and eventually they joined in.

Finally, you gained some control of yourself, and tried to hold a conversation.

“I’m so happy you both chose to stay with me.”

You stopped them both from speaking at the same time, realizing that it would be difficult to get much done with all three of you in a room.

“We definitely need to keep checking in, and figuring out boundaries. I don’t think my brain is up for that today though.”

“What are you up for, my dear?”

“Mm, I like this,” you sighed, rocking back and forth against each of their sides.

You caught Zoro rolling his eyes, and you stuck your tongue out at him.

“What about you guys? Your needs matter too here. What do you need?”

Neither spoke for a minute, and you played with your spoon.

“I guess, um…”

You looked up at Zoro, desperate to hear him actually express his fucking needs.

“How do we figure out time for just us?”

He said those words softly, and you knew how huge it was that he hadn’t said it with anger or frustration. You smiled up at him, then at Sanji who seemed to be waiting with rapt attention.

“Well, we can always check in, and change things if the system isn’t working out. But how about for now we stick to alternating days? Not just for sex, but for our time together?”

They both nodded, Zoro slowly, and Sanji with an eager smile. You squeezed both of their knees before reaching for the last of your mimosa.

You sat back, and they both tilted to see you better. You fought more laughter at what a lovely pair they made.

“Y/N, dear-” “So who-”

They glared at each other, until Sanji did a small mock bow to let Zoro go first.

Zoro’s mouth twitched as he looked away from both of you before continuing. He didn’t meet your gaze when he finished his question.

“Who’s turn is it?”

Your lips parted, and you watched them both look guilty while they waited for you.

This is crazy. How did I manage this?

Zoro cleared his throat, leaning with his elbows over the table.

“Yesterday was supposed to be my day.”

“Technically we didn’t finish my day before that.”

“You’re really gonna pressure her ab-” “You’re the one that’s pressuring her Mari-”

“Technically today was supposed to be Robin’s day.”

Your words shut them both up, and it took way too much effort to hold in your satisfied smile at their expressions.

Zoro looked shocked again, as if he’d blocked that out of his mind. Sanji’s fists had clenched, and you could see the veins in his neck and face throbbing as he turned bright red.

You couldn’t help it. A small laugh escaped you.

“Don’t worry, Robin and I decided to wait on our date until things are settled.”

You could have sworn you heard a tiny whimper from Sanji’s throat.

“How about we start things fresh with a coin toss?”

They both reached for a coin and threw them in the air, calling out the choice. You laughed as they both lost their own tosses.

“Let me do it.”

You’d grabbed Zoro’s coin, and tried to mimic them. You kept throwing it onto the table, or failing to catch it. The coin would drop on your lap, both of them reaching for your thighs to grab it for you, growling as their hands touched.

“Gods, can you guys just agree on which one of you tosses the coin? Pretty please?”

Sanji ended up giving in to your wishes again first, letting the swordsman toss. Then Zoro swore as the coin fell in Sanji’s favor. Sanji kissed your cheek while Zoro left the table after rubbing along your shoulders.

“See ya later, Needy.”

“Wait!”

You rushed over to your surly crewmate. The man who had walked in on you in the shower, and declared that you should fuck. You laughed softly at how crazy your life had been since that moment. And you couldn’t be more grateful for it if you tried.

“What,” he asked, his brows tensing as you laughed.

“It’s nothing,” you whispered, standing on tip toes in a silent request for a kiss.

His look of surprise deepened your smile, and he gripped the hair at the back of your neck when he pulled you to his lips.

A soft cough sounded behind you, and Zoro hummed as he pulled away to smirk at the cook. You nudged him out the door.

Turning around, you saw his eyes wide, waiting. You leaned toward him, feeling his soft lips kiss the corners of your mouth before pulling you into his arms to breathe along your ear.

“All to myself?”

Sanji’s raspy voice made you moan, your body still so ready even with all that had happened. You almost felt high, like all the emotions had left your body buzzing.

You looked up into his soft eyes, watching his lips part when he noticed how heavy your breaths were.

“D-Darling. I didn’t mean… Let me-”

He froze when you gripped his arms to keep him from pulling away.

“I want all sorts of lovely moments with you, Sanji, and I know we’re going to have them.”

The sweet smile that bloomed on his face made your heart dance in your chest for a moment, and you had to take a deep breath.

“I don’t want you to feel bad if we start today where we left off.”

You let heat fill your eyes as you wet your lips. Sanji’s eyes seemed to be pulled to your mouth, and you saw his breath hitch.

“A-Are you sure?”

Grinning at him, you nodded as you bit your lip.

He lunged toward your lips again, but you pressed your hands to his chest.

“Maybe we should go to one of our rooms now that everyone knows?”

You gasped as he looked at you like he was about to eat you.

“That’s too far, sweetheart. How about I take you in the pantry?”

You’d barely breathed out your ‘yes,’ before he lifted you into the air. He pulled you so fast, but still managed to grip you in a way that was comfortable. Your arms and legs wrapped around him, and he groaned while you kissed and licked along his neck.

Setting you gently in the walk in pantry, he held your face while he kissed you before rushing out. You tilted your head after him, but moaned when he returned with a condom and lube. Memories of your first time with him, and the sting and pleasure of his thick cock pulsed through you. Your eyes fell back in your head, and he gave a satisfied chuckle as he turned on the small light before closing the door.

“My sweet, Y/N… How can I show you how special you are to me?”

“You can tell me all the filthy things you want to do to me.”

You pulled your panties off from under your skirt and threw them at his chest.

Sanji had to catch himself against the wall as he moaned, almost dropping the lube.

He already looked wrecked when he met your eyes, and it drove you crazy.

“What do you want to do to me, Sanji?”

He was panting as he watched you pull your skirt up, so slowly. You took the condom and lube from him, and set them on a shelf.

Skin on fire, you didn’t know what had gotten into you. But you wanted him now, and you couldn’t stop yourself. You pressed yourself against his chest, looking into his blown out eyes. Both of you cried out when you dragged your hand along his length, already so fucking hard.

“Sanji, I asked you a question.”

Your words came out soft and dark. You watched his eyes flutter, and you wanted to speed him up. Taking his hand in yours, you whispered his name before pressing his fingers into your wet folds.

He moaned so loud, and your knees went weak. He had to catch you, then he pressed you against the wall, shoving two fingers into you.

“You are so fucking perfect. My sweet, dirty angel.”

Crying out at his praise, your body started shaking for him.

“P-Please, Sanji.”

He rutted against your thigh when you begged, and the feel of his clothed shaft rubbing against you made you whimper.

“I can’t believe you’re letting me do this to you. Such a beautiful, lovely girl. And you’re letting me touch you like this, where anyone could find us.”

He moaned into your ear, breathing in the scent of your hair.

You cried out his name, already feeling on the edge, ready.

“So gorgeous. Let me take care of you, angel. Let me make you feel good.”

“Yes, Sanji, please.”

He fell to his knees with a moan, tasting your needy cunt with that skilled tongue. His two fingers kept up their work while he swirled his tongue ring around your clit.

You had already started shaking before he plunged that third finger into you, and then you were gone. You shoved your own fist into your teeth, and panted as you bucked against Sanji’s face, coming on his tongue.

He licked you up like he was dying of thirst, while his three fingers kept prepping you.

He looked up at you, face glistening in the small light.

“You taste divine, my sweet.”

You moaned as his fingers kept working you.

“It’s probably time for me to prep for lunch, darling.”

You whined, grinding on his fingers.

He groaned, then checked his watch.

“Please Sanji. We’ll have so many more times to play for longer. Please fuck me against the wall right now. I know how much your perverted mind wants you to.”

You moaned as Sanji’s hand twitched inside you, his head falling back as he moaned.

“Please Sanji, I know you’ll take good care of me. Please, please fuck me now. I know you’d love it if someone caught us.”

He fell forward, mouth hanging open as his face pressed against your hip.

He was still taking too long.

You gripped your fingers into his hair, and pulled his face to yours.

“Sanji, are you going to make me beg?”

You watched his eyes harden, and cried out as his long fingers worked you with even more strength.

“A lady always gets what she wants in my kitchen.”

You moaned his name as he stood, kissing his way up your neck.

His fingers left you, and you clung to the wall as you watched him free his cock from his slacks before dragging the condom and lube down his length.

He came toward you, and lifted your leg so that your foot rested on a low shelf. His hands trailed along your neck, then your thighs. Your back arched as he teased his shaft along your entrance, the size of him so warm against you.

“I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

His whispers against your cheek while he dragged his tip along your clit made you shiver for him.

“To have such an exquisite beauty, coming on my face in the pantry.”

You cried out, clawing at his shoulders.

He slapped his thick cock against your entrance a few times while you moaned for him.

“To have such a gorgeous pussy, aching for me to fill it.”

“Fuck, Sanji, please!”

“Of course, darling.”

Biting your lip, your head fell back as you felt him against your center. Not even pressed into you, and your body was readying.

“That’s good, angel. Breathe for me. You know I’ll take care of you.”

You moaned for him, scratching your nails down his striped shirt as he pushed into you, so slowly.

“Gods, Sanji-”

“Shh, darling. Just breathe, and take me, baby. I know you can, you’re so perfect for me.”

Your pussy clenched around him, and he thrust the rest of the way in as he moaned.

“Sweetheart, you okay?”

“Y-Yes, Sanji.”

“Good girl… So perfect.”

As Sanji’s thick cock started pumping into you, slowly, then faster and faster, you forgot where you were, who you were. Just the sharp pain and pleasure of him inside you, and his endless, delectable words were all that held you to reality. His breath was hot on your face and neck as he panted his praise along your skin.

“Y/N, your pussy is fucking heavenly, baby. Fuck. Just like that, I feel you squeezing me so hard. You want my cock inside you, don’t you angel. You want me to make you feel so good, to take care of my perfect girl.”

“Yes, Sanji. Please take care of me.”

He moaned at that, shoving into you, thrusts becoming staggered. He reached down, massaging your clit while you gasped.

“So soft, so good for me…There you go darling- fuck, yes Y/N, milk my cock like a good girl- fuck-”

Sanji came into you with whimpered moans while you shattered around him. He had to hold your slumped body up, gingerly removing himself from you while you cried out.

You whimpered as he pressed soft kisses to your face, before reaching for your panties on the floor. He gave you a satisfied smile as he used them to wipe you clean, before using them to clean himself off after removing that very full condom.

You moaned while you watched him rub your panties on his cock, his eyes heavy lidded even after what you’d just done.

“You’re gonna need to buy me some new panties if you keep taking all of mine.”

His breath came out heavy as he smiled.

“Oh I plan on buying you so many special gifts, my sweet.”

Miraculously, you made it out of the pantry with time to spare, even rushing for a quick shower before heading back to lunch.

Even though it was Sanji’s day, it looked like meals were going to stay a shared time. You sighed as you leaned against Zoro, dampening his shirt with your still wet hair.

“Y/N, do you know if we still have any yarrow? I remember you said it can be used to staunch bleeding, and I’d like to keep some on hand if we run out of our other supplies.”

“Y-Yes Chopper. I believe we do, but I’ll check after lunch.”

I really should get back to work at some point.

But with Zoro’s warmth at your side, and Sanji’s wink while he started on dishes, you weren't sure how you were going to do that.

Especially when you met Robin’s deep blue eyes, and saw her lips curve in that teasing smile.

Who knows the next time we’ll be in danger again? I should enjoy this bliss for as long as I can.

Your selfish little smile at that thought felt oh so good.

I guess I really am Needy after all.

Thank you for reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

Part 10

Tag List: @astheni-a | @ferns-fics | @heilee | @iamn1ya | @ghostfacefricker6969

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think about where things have landed! I know I've been posting daily updates, but I'm visiting family for the next few days so it might be a couple days until the next one. Unless I get bored, I will be bringing a tablet and keyboard with me 😅

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

#One Piece smut #Reader Insert #Fem!Reader #Smut #mine #Opla smut #zoro smut #zoro x reader #opla zoro x reader #zoro x you #zoro fanfic #zoro fanfiction #sanji smut #sanji x reader #sanji fanfiction #sanji fanfic #x reader #turtletaub fics

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carnivore-voyeur · 6 months

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I've watched a few old interviews of Per Eriksson when he was with Katatonia. He's very passionate about the production of their music. I'm sure he brings that energy to Ghost's live performances. It's nice to see him talk about the tech side of things as it gives fans an appreciation for the work that goes into making a band successful.

However, there's one thing that makes me sad that keeps popping up especially in interviews closer towards his departure from Katatonia - drinking. He expresses really disliking drinking culture in Sweden and in the metal scene in general. He talks openly about hating how he feels when drunk. But. His bandmates joke about drinking all the time.

Excessive alcohol abuse has been hinted as one of the reasons why he chose to walk away, and good for him for doing that. There was a time he quit drinking altogether. I know there are more recent photos of him drinking occasionally, but sobriety is not only really hard to maintain but really damn isolating. So, I get that.

I have alcoholic parents who were in a band together. My dad is still a musician. I've been to some of his gigs. It sucks being surrounded by drunk people all the time and while I feel for Per in that situation, part of me is really glad he brought it up because it's something no one wants to talk about outside of making jokes.

Per was with Katatonia since he was about 21, surrounded by older more experienced men who drank a lot and encouraged him to drink a lot. When he was sick and hungover, they made jokes about him throwing up. No one was like, hey man lay off the booze. He had to decide that for himself and that is a very difficult thing to do.

I hope Ghost is a better fit for him. I don't see them getting "shit-faced" often and even Tobias isn't much of a drinker. Being a sober musician is extremely difficult. Drinking to excess is viewed as the metal thing to do, but then you get these young guys who end up alcoholics because of it. And no one tells them how to cope.

#unmasked ghouls #per eriksson #per sodo eriksson #sodo ghoul #text post #i'm emetophobic #so i wont go into detail on the jokes they made #but uh... it wasn't funny

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jakeyt · 7 months

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Covet: Chapter 7 (Part 2 of 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great.

Was.

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home.

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in.

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smutty smutty smut; oral sex m!receiving; unprotected p in v sex; mentions of toxic past relationships (cheating, lying, etc.) (lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter Word Count: 15k+

Covet Masterlist

a/n: alas, the second part of chapter 7!

as per usual, life has been busy and stressful. but, recently, i've had a couple of terribly sad things take place on top of it all. so, all of that piled up has stalled me. threw me way off balance for a bit.

my anxiety has also been ✨trippin'✨ recently, so i'm just drowning atp.

as always, ty to my sis @joshym for being a fucking amazing sister, talking through ideas w me, and proofreading for me <3 ilysfm

and ty to my wonderful friend @alwaysonthemend for being amazing and supportive + ever-encouraging. u r wonderful & ilysfm <3

i hope u guys (gn) enjoy the rest of chapter 7!

-🌼🌼🌼-

Waking up the next morning was not as wonderful as it’d been the morning prior.

You loved your sister with nearly everything in you, but being tied up in her legs was absolutely nothing compared to being curled up in Jake’s.

Your body ached to feel his body against yours in the morning again. . .formed to yours, your legs tangled up in each other, your cheek resting on his warm, firm chest.

Shit. You needed to feel him.

You were just about to get up to see if he was still in his room when Elsie made a telltale noise that she was awake. And when she cracked an eye open to look at you, she looked completely groggy and out of it.

But definitely awake. Before you knew it, she was up and aware and checking her phone through blurry eyes.

She yawned once more as she scrolled, but you knew this was only a sign that she was truly awake. A final yawn before starting her day. It was a weird thing you’d noticed with her years ago.

So, you knew that she would waste no time in wanting to start her day as soon as—

“Get dressed and let’s go get coffee,” she said, already walking to your bedroom to get her clothes on to start the day.

And within twenty minutes, you were both flitting about the apartment (bickering already), with the Jetta keys in Elsie’s hand, ready to go.

As you loaded up in your car to start the day, you couldn’t help but notice the impending throbbing Jake had left between your legs from the night before.

A sick reminder of the person you hadn’t had the chance to see again this morning.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You spent the day with Elsie, doing a variety of activities that you two used to do all the time.

You got the coffee she’d wanted as soon as she’d awoken, then got your nails done, went shopping for unnecessary things, got sushi. . .

It was a fun day.

But it dragged. On and on.

Seeing Jake at the gig tonight was undoubtedly the thing you were looking forward to most all day long.

The dull pain between your legs from where Jake had been the night before had you getting even more excited.

But it also served as a reminder to make your rules.

He’d followed the other rules you’d made well enough (enough being the key term) before. It seemed a legitimate idea to pitch some again for whatever the fuck you two had now gotten yourselves into twice (and more than that if you counted the other things the two of you had done).

You just hoped he’d respond well to these. They were to benefit both of you. Keep the sex just sex.

Protection.

You were sure they’d be easy for you to follow, so you were crossing your fingers they would be for him, too. You weren’t going to ask a lot of him.

By the time Elsie was done buying whatever she definitely didn’t need from H&M, you already had a solid ten rules made up.

Ten seemed good. Even number. Good start.

And you’d made one rule for yourself personally: No funny business until the rules had been discussed.

You needed the rules in place to feel like you had some semblance of control over it all.

He’d just have to be okay with that.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The show hadn’t even ended, their little encore about to start, when you got a text from Jake, making your tummy flip at his name popping up on your screen.

Jake, 10:30 p.m.: Josh says to meet us at that bowling alley we played a couple weeks back

Jake, 10:30 p.m.: oh fuck I forgot

Jake, 10:30 p.m.: that was when you weren’t coming to our shows for god knows what reason. It’s called brooklyn bowl

Jake, 10:31 p.m.: we will be there as soon as this set is done. Head that way and we will meet you

The string of texts kind of shocked you, if you were being completely honest. The fact that Jake had apparently been willing to text you about the plans made your stomach dip.

And even though his little remark about you not going to their shows made your skin heat with irritation, you still felt butterflies as you quickly texted back.

You, 10:33 p.m.: Okay. We will see you guys there.

You nudged Elsie, showing her the texts.

Her lips had a smart little smirk as soon as she saw who it was texting you, her eyes flashing to you to see your expression.

You only rolled your eyes and said, “It’s not that he’s texting me, stupid. We need to leave.”

So she finished reading the texts, and nodded her head when she’d finished.

“That’ll be fun,” she grinned bigger, winking. She nodded once again, signaling for you to move out so she could follow you out from the booth you’d been sitting in to watch the guys perform. “Let’s go.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

You waited a good while for a lane to open up, the alley being oddly busy on a Monday night.

As you’d waited in line, Elsie had made a comment about Jake acting a little funny about you not being at their shows for a bit.

You’d pushed her off, claiming he was just being an asshole.

And your heart hadn’t beaten any faster when he’d sent a simple response as you waited in the line to get a lane.

Jake, 11:05 p.m.: :)

Jake, 11:07 p.m.: we will be there soon

You didn’t respond, not wanting to seem eager for a response or some shit. He’d know that you got his message by your ‘read’ receipt.

Eventually, you and your sister had a lane assigned to your party, and you located it. The two of you took the time to set up your names in the machine before the guys would arrive and presumably took over. You had a funny feeling they’d be pre-excited to start the game and compete.

And you knew well enough to stay out of their way when they got excited over bowling.

You assumed Jake would be the same. But you didn’t know as this would be your first time going out with him to bowl.

Well, going out with the guys and Jake. Not just him.

It wasn’t like you guys were dating or some weird shit.

Fuck no.

You weren’t. At all.

And just as that thought’d come to your mind, you figured tonight would be a really good time to talk over the rules you’d spent the day crafting.

Before he started assuming shit.

He probably didn’t. You knew better than to get too big of a head over Jake considering the thing you guys had done any more than just fucking.

You ignored the tiny sinking in your tummy over that thought. It didn’t matter. It was just fucking.

So. Yeah. Rules would be good to have. Good reminders. You’d find a quiet time tonight to tell him about them.

They would let you have the control you needed, and keep you both in line with the situationship staying strictly sex.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were correct in assuming the boys would come in and take over the machine; fingers flew over the touchscreen panel and ridiculous pictures were taken to accompany their player names.

Elsie only sat back and watched Josh in nothing short of amazement, laughing at every single thing he’d say or do. And he’d look back at her and send secret smiles, shooting winks and long glances when he wasn’t looking at the machine.

They were fucking adorable.

But they could have the relationship.

You weren’t interested in something like that.

Though, you couldn’t help the way you watched Jake’s ass as he bent over the chair to put his name in, along with his own picture. His eyes crossed and tongue sticking out.

You really couldn’t help the smirk and tiny giggle that bubbled out of you when he’d set it up.

Also, his ass was looking fucking round and delicious in his jeans.

Fuck.

When he’d taken the initiative to get the guys’ shoes for them at the counter, you took the opportunity to do the same for your sister and you.

This could be your chance to talk to him about rules.

Following behind him a few healthy steps, you saw him bent at the waist, arms crossed on the shoe counter as he talked to the girl working it. What was he doing? He was only up there to get fucking shoes.

Despite being annoyed, you did openly take the opportunity to admire his ass while you could. It was too tempting not to. Firm as hell, and poking out yet again from this position he was leaning into.

You didn’t waste time, though, as you met him at the counter. There was shit to do and he was already taking too long.

You sidled up next to him, without another thought, as the girl across the counter continued to flirt openly with him.

You rolled your eyes at her, glancing at him as he did the same back. He had a shit eating grin on his face the whole time, as if he knew she was lapping up every bit of it all.

Stupid. You guys needed to get your shoes and get back to start the game. None of you had time for the little game he and this girl were playing.

And she needed to focus on her job.

“I need some shoes, too, if you don’t mind,” you butted in, pressing your arm into Jake’s. She looked annoyed, but you didn’t care. You were too. Looking down at your roommate, you narrowed your eyes at him. He was already looking at you, a raised brow and a smirk on his lips. Your panties got the slightest bit wet. Dumb. “Did you at least give her your fucking sizes?”

He rolled his eyes, but quickly changed his face to a knowing sort of thing that made you want to punch him and kiss him all at once. He uncrossed his arms from the counter, standing up to look down at you.

“Yes,” he said, voice dripping with irritation, and a mix of something else you couldn’t put your finger to. “Would you like to give her yours, ma’am?”

“Shut the fuck up, Jake,” you gritted in response. You looked back at her, as she continued to size Jake up. “Excuse me, I still need shoes. A woman’s size 6 and a size 8.”

And just as she begrudgingly left to get them all, you made eye contact with him again. He was already looking at you.

The apples of his cheeks were round with a big smile, pearly white teeth gleaming in the neon lighting of the place as he chuckled lowly.

“What, Cheshire fucking Cat?”

“You’re silly,” he said cutely. “And you’ve got a filthy fuckin’ mouth on you tonight, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart.

Your heart leapt at him calling you that. You really liked how it sounded when he called you pet names— like sweetheart and baby. . . It sounded so, so nice falling from his pretty lips.

Blinking back at him, you refocused. “I’m silly? What the fuck does that mean?”

“You just are. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s cute. You’re cute,” he leaned his butt against the front of the counter, and he reached out to toy with the halter top you’d worn tonight. “And you look fucking sexy tonight. Why didn’t you stand closer to the stage for me to see you while I played?”

You flushed, and felt the slightest bit sad when he let his hand fall from your shirt to tuck back into his front pocket.

“Wanted to show Elsie another vantage point of the show,” you replied, not wanting to tell him that you weren’t sure you could’ve handled being that close to him, watching him ruthlessly fuck his guitar. It would’ve made you fall victim to him before you were able to discuss your rules with him. “But that doesn’t matter. We need to talk about something.”

He let out a breath and then responded, “Well I know what this is going to be about,” he started, his eyes locking with yours. You lifted a brow, encouraging him to continue. “You don’t think us having sex is the best idea, hm? Can’t let yourself have too much of a good thing.”

Scoffing, you crossed your arms.

You uncrossed them.

Then, with a huff, you crossed them again.

You were starting to realize when you did this, it made you feel guarded, emotions not on full display. Jake brought out so many different emotions in you— made you feel exposed. Crossing your arms to hide what pieces of yourself you could cover was all you could do. You just weren’t sure if it was healthy to constantly be on guard like you so often were.

But it was just what you did. Especially with him.

“You think it’s that good?” You sassed, trying to disguise how wonderful you knew it to be, your pussy still in the slightest bit of pain from just how good he’d given it to you not even twenty-four hours ago.

His eyes bore into yours, challenging you. “Oh, you’re saying it wasn’t?” He turned towards you. “Is that why I had to cover your mouth to keep you from getting all loud? You didn’t seem to think it was so bad when—.”

“Here are your shoes!” The girl was back, sliding all six pairs Jake’s way. You scooted yours and Elsie’s over to you, eying the girl and judging how she was holding eyes with Jake.

“These were mine,” you reminded as you held onto the backs of the shoes, clicking them against the counter.

As you went to hold them in your arms, you waited for her to look up at you. And when she threw you a disgusted glance, you didn’t let her look away, pinning her there. And as if on cue, customers were showing up behind you and Jake.

“Better get to work,” you remarked at her, throwing a thumb back to point at the next people in line. You then tapped the other boys’ shoes to remind Jake to get them. He grabbed them just in time for you to take him by his sleeve. He chuckled under his breath as he let you drag the two of you over a few feet.

Why was he laughing?

You released him as soon as you were far enough away from the girl that she’d leave you alone.

“You like her?” You questioned hotly (for literally no reason at all, really just genuine curiosity). “She definitely likes you.”

“I don’t know,” he smirked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.”

“You’re the one who asked.”

“I just think it’s a good idea for you to be careful where you’re sticking your dick,” you chided, assuming to yourself that was the reason you asked in the first place. There was no other reason to care. “I’ll make you fucking wrap that shit.”

“I always do,” he challenged, stepping towards you a bit. It made your heart thump in your chest.

“No you don’t,” you challenged back, crinkling a brow with a shake of your head. “You’ve never—.”

“Not with you I don't. Other girls, always. It’s fucking nasty not to,” he reasoned. His voice went impossibly lower, deeper with his next words. “I’ve never given a flying fuck about truly feeling the shape of a girl’s pussy until yours. I wasn’t going to miss out on that.”

Your cheeks heated, becoming red at his words. You could not be that special.

“That’s a fucking lie,” you hushed back, leveling with him. You pushed your chest out to fake a sort of sanity you were beginning to lack. “What about your ex-girlfrie—?”

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’, his hand coming up to gently hold your bicep. His calloused thumb smoothed over your skin, drawing mindless shapes. You shivered. “Always used protection with her, too.”

You blinked. You were at a loss for words.

His eyes scanned your body. The outfit of black skinny jeans that showcased your ass and your striped halter top that gave you incredible cleavage. He watched the curves of your breasts as your chest heaved at him watching you.

Your eyes floated to his lips, full and pink and kissable. Fuck. You just wanted to kiss him so bad.

It seemed he wanted it, too.

His were getting nearer and nearer to yours.

And you were leaning into it. . . So close to what you were learning was a constant craving.

“Y/n!” Elsie’s voice from across the way brought you out of your momentary daze.

You shoved Jake back.

Dammit, you hated being cut off from him like that.

But you were currently way too close for outside onlookers.

Your eyes were as wide as a deer in headlights as you scanned the alley for her. You’d lost your party entirely, your mind being wrapped up in only Jake for the past fifteen minutes.

She whistled to gain your attention. And when you finally saw her, she was still on the bench from earlier, Josh right next to her. Their thighs were touching and his arm was over the back of her chair, facing away from you.

Thank fuck. He hadn’t seen.

But you had the sneakiest suspicion Elsie had seen too much. The quirk of her lips said so.

You could deal with her later.

“Shoooooes!” She sang, Josh harmonizing with her momentarily as if to mock. She giggled at him, shoving his shoulder. Now looking at him as she spoke, “I’m ready to kick Josh’s ass and I need my shoes to do it!”

You looked back over at Jake for a split second, seeing the same disappointment in his eyes that you were feeling in the pit of your stomach.

But you just couldn’t chance all of them seeing you two like that.

You were still looking at him when you called back with a, “Coming!”

And as you walked back to your friends, Jake followed closely behind. You could feel him staring at your ass as you swayed it in front of him. With the smallest secret grin on your lips, you pressed the back of your hand to your cheeks to tame your blush.

The throbbing between your legs was begging for him.

You had to get these stupid (albeit necessary) rules out of the way quick so you could sneak off and let him fuck you.

-🌼🌼🌼-

“Ah! Another fucking strike!” Sammy punched the air in triumph, elbowing Danny in the side. “Try to beat my fuckin’ score, Daniel! Betcha can’t.”

The four of you that sat back at the booth to watch applauded Sam’s score, but urged Danny on to “kick his ass, Danny!”

“Don’t let him have the upper hand,” you shouted at Daniel, who sent a wink back at you.

And as Danny took his first shot, you heard Jake pipe up from across the table. “Who wants something to drink? Or maybe some fuckin’ chicken tenders or something. ‘M starving.”

Everyone yelled back “me!” except for you, who watched him lazily from your side of the booth. You’d been admiring him any chance you’d gotten from your spot all evening. He was sitting next to Josh and you were next to Elsie. Perfect view of him across the booth.

“Jacob, I volunteer you to get the booze and food,” Josh decided, clapping a hand against Jake’s shoulder. “I’ll play in your spot while you’re gone. We’re basically the same person, so it counts.”

Elsie joined in with her own two cents. “And I think you should help him carry it all back, sis, so I don’t let Josh get the upper hand with too much playing.” She added, “Let me play for you, too, and I’ll stay on the same page as him. Keep things fair.”

They laughed with each other like two little obnoxious love birds. And you couldn’t even care about it as you met eyes with your roommate, a glint in his eye at the prospect of you two escaping.

He got out, and you watched his body unfold, and then as he stretched from sitting. You averted your gaze when you heard the telling sign of a strike, and the sounds of Danny rubbing it in Sammy’s face.

“Sure,” you replied, trying to act irritated that she was making you leave. When you were actually anything but. She looked at Jake, then back at you, throwing you a wiggle of her brows as you got out. Bitch knew what she was doing.

Jake waited for you, and you quickly joined him in walking to the bar.

“You know how amazing your ass looks in those jeans,” he said to you in a low tone as you walked that way. “Do you always wear the sexiest shit on purpose?”

Heart racing, you looked up at him with a tiny grin. “Maybe.”

When you approached the bar, he put in a few orders of chicken and fries and several beers.

“Yeah, man, but it might take a bit,” the guy responded, looking over at you, giving you a decent once over. He was blatantly checking you out. You pretended you didn’t notice as you let your eyes travel back to Jake, whose eyebrows were turned in at the guy looking at you. “Probably like five to ten minutes. That okay?”

“If you can keep your eyes off of her while you do it, sure,” he said back, taking a step over, closer to you. The guy looked shocked to be called out, stuttering a bit. He nodded his head a few times at Jake in response.

“Yeah man, sorry,” he said, voice wavering. “Just don’t always see girls so pretty,” he sent a small, worried smile your way. “Sorry, miss.”

You tossed a hand his way, showing it was no biggie.

You could tell he was harmless. But you didn’t care about him.

Jake’s palms splayed out on the counter, and him standing tall to say what he did was all you cared about in that moment. His shoulders, broad, and dark brown eyes daring the guy to look at you again.

Sexy as hell.

Why did you like him standing up for you so damn much?

The guy scurried away, yelling out orders in the kitchen and then tending to the next customers.

You turned to Jake just as he did the same. All you wanted was to reach out and feel him, but you didn’t. Couldn’t.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you remarked, correcting him for no reason whatsoever. You liked it. Why were you saying anything? “I don’t need you doing that.”

Y/n, shut up, you heard the sweet voice in your head chide you. Just let him be there for you.

“Didn’t say you did,” he snipped back, his eyebrows turning in at you now. “Just didn’t like him looking at you like that.”

Your heart beat rampantly as you held his line of sight.

“Fine,” was all you could say in response. “But I still need to talk to you about what I had to earlier.”

“Did I not hit the nail on the head with what I said?” He questioned. “Too much of a—?”

“No, you didn’t,” you cut him off. He reared back a bit with a little ‘hm’. “Just let me speak. You can offer your opinion in a minute.”

You pulled your phone from your back pocket, opening up the notes with the rules, anxious to get your piece said.

“Rules,” you held up the device, flashing it at him before turning it back to yourself to read.

But before you could start, he interrupted. “Rules? We already went over our rules for the apar—.”

“Not the apartment,” you corrected.

He looked curious, his eyebrow raising in question. “Then what?”

“Sex.”

“Ha!” He let out the one cackle with a shake of his head. “Rules for sex?”

When he said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous. You couldn’t blame him for laughing when you heard the prospect from your own mouth.

But you had valid reasons for it.

“Yes. As weird as it sounds, they will help us,” you said, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “Are you ready?”

“Do I get a say?”

“You will once you’ve heard them all.”

He groaned, and you saw him throw a hand over his eyes. “Fuck, y/n.”

Was he that disappointed?

Did it matter if he was? This was important to you.

You watched his pecs and chest rise and fall through his partially opened shirt, tempting you. The quicker you got these read, the quicker you could take him to a hidden area and—.

“Well?” His voice made your eyes snap to his face. He’d smoothed his hand down his face, holding his chin as he looked as ready as he could to tolerate whatever the hell was coming from you. “I’m waiting.”

You sighed. “If you’re going to be a giant baby about them, then—.”

“I won’t,” he sighed as well, looking more and more open to hearing you out by the second.

Okay, maybe he really would be okay with this, you thought hopefully.

“Number one:—.”

“Just like old times,” he interrupted. You cut your eyes to him, narrowing them in his direction. “Feels like yesterday when we were standing in the living roo—.”

“Jake, shut the fuck up and let me finish,” you grumbled. “Or I’ll cut you off from me.”

Empty threat. You were not ready to do that anytime soon.

He waved a hand in your direction, gesturing for you to continue.

You growled under your breath, but stood straighter, not wanting him to see you flustered. “Number one: we will not make this a relationship. It is—and will stay— just sex.”

“Are you choosing that for both of us?”

“Yes.”

“Not totally fair,” he inserted. “I’m not sure how I feel about you being the one to make that decision.”

“And I’m not sure how I feel about you giving me such a hard time about it,” you bit back. Your defenses were flaring. Who gave him the right? “It’s my decision whether I want a relationship or not. I don’t want one. If you want one, find someone else. Because it’s not going to be with me.”

There were too many reasons it shouldn’t be a relationship. But you weren’t about to get into that.

His posture had drooped the slightest bit, and his eyebrows, furrowed with a sort of hurt. But before you could consider it any further, he was crossing his arms and his features were hardening.

“Fine,” he stated. Your heart fell in your chest at the word. He continued, “I won’t make a big deal of it. I’ll take what I can get.”

Your mind was in a frenzy. Jake was the worst (or, perhaps, best) at causing you to ride emotional rollercoasters. You couldn’t keep up with him.

And why was he fine with compromising so quickly? Whatever the reason, you weren’t going to question it.

“Okay,” was all you said. You waited a few beats, your eyes piercing the other’s. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you continued, “I think it will be good for it to be only about sex. Just trust me,” you softly encouraged, reaching out to pat his chest in reassurance. But you went to remove it quickly, remembering you shouldn’t show that sort of behavior in public.

Instead, he held it there for a few more seconds, letting you feel his heart beating, steadily under your open palm.

The moment was over before it started, though, and you thought it best anyway. There was a time and a place for that.

So, within record time, you told him the rest of the rules you’d made up (and he had a response for each one):

2) Nobody will find out. (“We’ve gone over that.”)

3) No questions or comments about dates the other one may have. It’s not our business. (“Oookay?”)

4) No excessive touching outside the bedroom. (“Alright.”)

5) Try to avoid sleeping together after. Especially avoid: cuddling. Too couple-y. (“Like you said: it’s just fucking. Why would I dare try cuddling you?”)

6) No pet names outside of the bedroom. (“Can do.”)

You stopped before the last few, looking up from your phone to make sure he was actually still engaged and taking you seriously.

To your pleasant surprise, he really seemed to be. He had a pensive look on his face, hand holding his chin in thought.

Soon, he looked back at you and replied. “Really doesn’t seem too hard,” he paused, raising his brow. “‘S that it?”

Shaking your head, you held up three fingers. You told him, “There’s three more.”

He breathed deeply in response, blowing the breath out slowly. He raised both brows, shook his head in mild agreeance (or maybe disbelief?), but once again motioned a hand at you to continue.

“Number seven: only sex on the days we’re both off work,” you recited from your screen. This one sounded kind of insane to your own ears when you said it out loud.

Jake confirmed this with a scoff. Your head perked up sheepishly at the sound, knowing that one was a little strange. Why had you decided that?

“Veto,” he said in annoyance. “Why is that even a rule? What purpose?” He continued, “I’ll be honest, if I look hard enough, I can find the tiniest purpose in every other rule. . . except that one.”

You nodded your head, acknowledging he was right.

“Do I still have a say? Because I really am not sure I can follow that one.”

“Yes,” you conceded sheepishly. Then, something overtook you and you honestly confided in him. “I think that one was just me grasping for control. I struggle with it on occasion.”

He chuckled quietly to himself, almost fondly. You blushed, waiting for him to respond.

“Just a little bit. But I’ll roll with it,” he replied, his soft gaze finding yours. You felt your tummy do flips. This. . . felt good. Being a little more open with him, and him accepting it. It felt nice—relieving, almost. “Go on. Last two.”

You cleared your throat, pulling your stare from him to look at your screen. “New number seven: No emotional dependency,” you iterated. With his crinkled brow, you clarified. “We aren’t responsible for dealing with each others’ emotions. That’s for relationships.”

That one made you sad for some reason. It was almost as though you longed for that with him. . . But it didn’t matter. That one was particularly important to help with boundaries.

“Alright,” he agreed, the sureness in his tone faltering a bit. Why? Did it matter to him too somehow? Ignore. Whatever. Move on.

“Number eight: no jealous behavior,” you added, scrolling onto the next one when you heard him pipe up.

“Does that include the girl at the counter tonight?”

You felt caught. But why? It hadn’t been jealousy. You’d just been annoyed. “That was just me being plain irritated with her lack of professionalism,” you clarified plainly. Your tone said to drop it.

“Okay,” he smirked, sniffling with a laugh. “Got it. You’re just an extreme professional. Alright.”

You rolled your eyes. “I am. And it was just annoying for her to be like that.”

“Why?” He poked.

You scoffed with a small huff. Motioning to the counter for emphasis, “She wasn’t doing her job.”

He continued laughing under his breath.

“Do you want me to continue or not?”

“Yes,” he relented with a tip of his head. “Last one?”

“Last one,” you confirmed. “Number nine: if one of us wants to end whatever the fuck this is, the other one has to be okay with it. No questions,” You expanded, “There is nothing tying us to each other, so there is no need to fight it if one of us decides to move on.”

He seemed to sit on that one for a bit, his stare boring into the floor. His thumb and index, stroking his chin, as if in deep thought.

“Order up!” The guy from before was back, sliding two trays your way. One piled with several opened beer bottles and the other, filled with steaming food in red baskets.

Jake suddenly came to, shaking his head and finally looking up. He took the one with the alcohol.

“This one is heavier,” he glanced over at you. He used his elbow to point at the other. “You grab that one.”

He went to move, but you put a hand on his arm to stop him from going anywhere.

Looking down in your direction, his eyes were dark with a secret emotion.

You really wished you could read him better. Every time you thought you could, he would throw you another curve ball of confusion.

“You had a response for everything else,” you pinned him there. “What’s your opinion on the last one?” You used your eyes to show him you were desperate for him to say something. “I want to know what you think.”

He stared at you for several moments, his eyes studying yours. You could have been completely naked and felt less vulnerable than you did at this moment.

Finally, his lips made a tight smile and he responded. “Like I said before: I’ll take what I can get,” he looked down at the beer, finally lifting it off the counter. You followed his lead with your tray, glad to get a response. But you stopped as he did, turned from the counter. He held you in place with his amber-brown eyes. “I just hope whatever the fuck this is doesn’t end anytime soon.”

All you could do was nod, feeling completely conflicted in every way at that moment.

You had to repeat to yourself that the rules were for a reason. You had to have them to stay in line. Keep things strictly what they were. A relationship was a bad idea. What you had was all you needed.

Right?

You felt completely torn. Because, all you wanted to say in response was,

“I never want it to end.”

But you didn’t. You weren’t about to completely contradict yourself with that. You only nodded once more, and started walking, leading the two of you back to the group.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You never ended up finding any more time to be alone at the bowling alley.

It was terrible, having to watch him from a distance all night. . . Wanting him more than anything. You felt fully ready to dive head first into this with him. You’d had an actual discussion about it. It felt more real now.

Whatever the fuck you were to each other. . . It had been firmly placed today with your talk. With the rules.

Now all you had to do was tie a nice bow on it.

Consummate the fuckin’ rules.

So, when Elsie told you she had to go see your grandparents before she met you back at the apartment, you let her go.

Josh had offered to drive her, leaving your car available for you and Jake.

And as you walked to the car, you had a gut feeling you wouldn’t be making it back to the apartment anytime soon.

-🌼🌼🌼-

And about fifteen minutes later confirmed that. Pulled over in an area covered by trees, just off the highway, nearing the apartment.

But neither of you could have waited if you tried.

He had you on his lap, your halter top undone, tits out and bouncing as he pounded up into you.

Your pants were down just far enough for you to ride his cock, where he sat in the passenger seat.

The car had been left on, as you didn’t want it to get so steamy that you’d possibly draw attention.

And the cool air was causing your skin to prickle, your nipples hard from the chilliness of the A/C.

You almost brought your shirt back up to cover them when Jake stopped you momentarily, bucking his hips up into you for emphasis. You yelped at the feeling of him pressing at your spot. . . just right.

“Fuck, Jake,” you moaned, you tried lifting your top back up when he reached a hand up to cover yours, pulling the material back down.

“No,” he panted, his eyes connecting with yours.

You wrinkled your brows. “Yes. I’m cold,” you corrected, the last word containing a weird lilt as the head of his dick met your cervix again. “Shit!”

“I’ll keep you warm, then.”

And within seconds, he had his mouth on one hardened peak and the other breast was being massaged by his strong, calloused hand.

You threw your head back in pleasure, sighing loudly with a whimper that quickly changed into a deep moan. Nipple stimulation—and just boob-play in general. . . It was your kryptonite. Fuck.

He released his mouth from your breast, giving the taut skin one more swirl from his tongue. But he paused above the other breast, a smirk on his features as he met your hooded gaze. “You like it when I play with your tits?”

You were too dazed by your lust to be annoyed with his slightly cocky attitude. “Yes. It’s my fucking krypto,” you sighed, pulling your hips up, and then sinking back down onto him slowly. He groaned as you did it a few more times. Now it was your turn to smirk. “Do you like it when I do this?” You rolled your hips down, molding your wetness to his thick shaft once more with the word.

He inhaled deeply, biting his lip. He grasped your hips to make you do it again. “Fuck yeah I do.”

Except with his action, he brought you down harder and your toes curled at the delicious friction against your hidden spot. He held your hip as you kept your body moving on him, but he switched one hand to massage your throbbing clit.

You sucked in a breath. “Oh,” you whined. “Yeah, that’s it. Fuck,” you sighed, pushing into his finger, desperate to feel every harsh line of the callous in the thumb that toyed with you. You wrapped an arm around his neck for leverage, tangling a hand in his hair, and leaned further into the motion.

Then, his right hand, that’d been holding your hip, left you to pull the seat lever, reclining the seat all the way back. You gasped as the chair’s movement made your thighs fall open more, gaining him even further access. The head of his dick took its rightful place at the furthest edge of your pussy.

The sudden change had your eyes rolling back into your head.

“I needed to feel you like I wanted,” he grunted, both hands finding your hips again. He squeezed the flesh at your hips before gently running his hands, as if admiring your curves, up to your waist. Then, further they went, up to your rib cage. You looked down at his face as you rolled your hips down onto him, causing both of you to shiver with a moan. “Fuck, y/n.”

He wasn’t looking at your face, he was watching in the darkness of the car, as your bodies moved together. You were in perfect rhythm, his hips meeting your tempo with every thrust you’d offer.

But you wanted him to look at you. You were desperate for his gaze.

“Jake,” you panted, driving your center against him. “Look at me.”

Jake did as he was told, instantly finding your eyes. He reached a hand up to hold your face, his gaze gentle. You loved his fucking eyes. Even in the natural blue of night that fell over you, you were still able to fall so easily into them. They were so deep, so true. . . never hiding any emotion from you. You wanted to use them as a window to explore him.

Before you could explore your thoughts any further, his pointer and middle fingers were entering his mouth. You watched, entranced, as he sucked on them long enough to get them wet and ready. And when the fingers found your sensitive clit, you couldn’t contain the whine that escaped your lips.

“Shit—fuck,” you gasped, mouth falling open as he played you like an instrument. He nudged at the hardened bud like he was making a beautiful melody, and you watched as his eyebrows drew in with the same concentration he gave a guitar solo. Your hips jerked against him of their own volition, needy for more. But you were nearing your end. You could feel it curling in your belly as he paid attention to the side of your pulsing clit. Then it was approaching faster—your movements were erratic, your body craving every piece of his it could get. “Jake—.”

“I know, baby,” he soothed, his own pelvis bucking furiously. “I’m close—you just feel so damn good. Shit.”

And before you knew it, the vibrations were reverberating through you after one particular shift from him. Your body shivered, every nerve in your body, absolutely electric. You felt your walls fluttering furiously around him, but as soon as you registered it happening, he was pulling out of you and finishing against your exposed stomach.

“Dammit,” he hissed. Your eyes darted down to his dick as he removed it from you hastily, making sure to point it away from your center and directly at your tummy.

You watched the release drip down your stomach, and into your belly button. But before you could watch much more of it, he was stretching his shirt to help clean your skin.

Seconds later, both of you were still breathing heavily, bodies coming down from the high. He was looking at the mess of your stomach and you were watching him. His hair was sticking to his forehead, and you couldn’t help it when you went to push some of it away and behind his ear.

His dark brown eyes found yours, a small, sweet grin fitting to his full lips. And, in that moment, you realized you felt genuinely happy for the first time in a very long time.

After a few more of the shuddering breaths,

your heart leaping in your chest at the twinkle in his eyes, you jumped at the telling sound of your sister’s ringtone.

You quickly pulled your pants back up, and re-situated yourself until you were fully put back together. Jake did the same below you, both moving your bodies to accommodate for the other.

Once your pants were done, you reached a hand to fully grasp the ties for the halter top to tie it back together. But just before you could re-tie it around your neck, he moved your hair to the side of your throat so you’d have easier access.

Hurriedly, you finished the job, and as you did so, Jake grabbed your phone for you from the dashboard. Your heart started beating frantically in your chest at the thought of him answering Elsie’s call and her possibly being with Josh and exposing the two of you.

Or the good chance that Elsie would slip up and say something sly to Jake.

“Don’t fucking answer it!” You snapped at him.

His lips turned down, his eyes losing the sparkle, and filling with fire instead. “I wasn’t going to,” he bit back. “Just being fucking kind.”

You rolled your eyes at him, and grabbed it from him.

Crawling over the console back into the driver’s seat, you answered your sister. You tried your best to mask being out of breath from the hustle as you buckled your belt.

“‘Sup, Els?” You swallowed down a fast breath.

“Fuck, y/n. I got back to the apartment and neither of you were here,” she replied, her voice wracked with nerves. “I tried texting you and you didn’t answer. I was worried about you.”

You blanched at that, your skin flushing. “I didn’t get a text,” you said back, your voice lilting at the end, in question. You would’ve heard it. . .had you been that lost in the moment? That you hadn’t even heard your phone chime?

When you pulled the phone away from your ear, you noticed a total of eleven texts waiting on your Home Screen from her.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Yep,” she sassed at you. “Where are you?!”

Frantically, you tried to find a good excuse. But you couldn’t think of anything. You really didn’t care for Elsie to know, but talking about it in front of Jake would show him you’re telling her, which would completely conflict with the rules you put in place.

Crap.

You stared out the windshield, your eyes shutting as though in resolution to having to expose yourself, right there in front of Jake.

Why couldn’t you think of something?!

A hand came to lightly touch your thigh, and you looked over to see Jake, a reassuring look in his stare.

“Tell her I forgot something important for my guitar at the venue,” he whispered, so quiet, his tone understanding.

Your face must’ve said ‘how did you know?!’

Because then he hushed, “Your volume is all the way fucking up. I’m sure if I were across the street I’d be able to hear it.”

You blushed, looking away from him, out into the night sky again. He removed his hand from your thigh, and you instantly missed it.

“Jake had to go to the venue for a guitar part he forgot,” you lied, turning your volume down a few notches. “And I got lost finding my way there. It was a fucking mess.”

“Of course you lost yourself,” she responded, impatient. “Just get home. I’ve always been kind of scared to be here by myself.”

“Oh my god. You’re fine,” you responded, putting the car in gear. “We’re on our way.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

Life was at its fucking pinnacle— the best it had been for the first time in years.

Everything that was happening felt aligned in the stars.

The band was doing fuckin’ fantastic. Every single gig we performed at drew more and more eyes—both fans and otherwise.

And apparently, even more than that. . . We recently found out that a few producers had been lurking (presumably looking for the right time to bite). The manager we’d picked up had also recently been contacted by a guy connected to this big festival that was happening in August. He’d made it extremely clear that he needed us to agree before he’d even finished pitching the idea.

“You guys don’t want to miss this opportunity,” he’d excitedly shared, his voice loud and grainy through the speaker as the four of us had listened. “It is a once in a fuckin’ lifetime, boys.”

So, there was all of that. The fact that my dreams seemed to finally be coming true was an exhilarating and unbelievable experience.

It was crazy how all it had taken was one move. The move. The move I had needed to make for the past several years, but had been too afraid of. I’d felt trapped in Illinois. Stuck under someone else’s thumb, stuck with someone I’d stopped loving a long time before I left.

Meanwhile, the woman had been cheating on me for God knows how long. If I let myself think back on all of it, I’d realize that she was never trustworthy. I’d just fallen in love too young— oblivious to the ways someone could be so horrible.

After her, I swore I would never feel about another woman so deeply. I didn’t want to. She’d ruined it for me. And I was validated even more when Josh told me I needed to take a break from women.

But I didn’t want a break. I just wanted to be done. No more relationships. Mindless fucking with random women was exactly what I thought I wanted.

My ex had completely destroyed any desire I could possibly have for a relationship. Fuck relationships. Fuck love. Fuck it all.

Then I met y/n.

She’d turned it all around with one look into her breathtaking eyes.

It caught me completely off guard. I’d tried my damndest to reject it.

And even after all of the shit I put her through (due to me acting like a giant ass, stubborn baby), she still wanted me.

But not like I wanted her.

I wanted it all. I didn’t want just mindless sex with her. Even though Josh had adamantly instructed me to “take a fucking break”, I had resolved that I couldn’t convince myself I wanted that when it came to her. Because I wanted her. Bad. In every way.

There was just something about her that was so fucking addictive. She was easily the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on, she loved music like I did, she was easy to talk to about anything (matching me perfectly in every conversation—or argument—we had), and she wore her heart on her sleeve (even though I knew she didn’t think so). She was endearing.

Then there was the giant shroud of mystery around her. So many pieces to her puzzle I could tell she was hiding that I wanted to put together.

But she didn’t want me to. She didn’t want me in every way.

No. She just wanted sex. Sex with rules, at that.

And at first, I didn't want to agree to any of the rules. I didn’t want rules—I knew what I wanted. I’d planned on it starting as sex and turning into more. You know, a natural flow of things.

But her rules had made it apparent she didn’t want that. At all. So, I’d decided that the best way to have her was to have her however I could.

So, if she just wanted sex, that’s what I’d give her.

Even though I wanted to give her all of me.

I never thought I’d want that with a woman again, but she’d proven me so, very wrong. . . no matter how hard I’d wanted to deny it. And I didn’t want it with just any woman. I wanted it with her.

Though in spite of the relationship with her not being everything I wanted it to be, it gave me a special piece of her that I held so close.

Sex with her was the most electrifying thing I’d ever experienced. More than the sex had ever been with any other woman.

And even crazier: it was more compelling than playing the guitar.

Fucking nuts—I’d never met a woman that had trumped the act of playing guitar. . .

But y/n had done just that.

So, even though it wasn’t what I wanted in my heart, I knew I wanted her. Everything she was and is. Everything that came with her.

But, if this was all I could get, it would have to do. It was better than not having her at all.

Having her in my arms, my dick filling her perfect pussy. . .it was the best part of my life at the moment. More so than the band. The festival. The fans.

I still loved guitar more than a person should. .

But. . .I loved being with her more than that.

There was nothing in the world like watching her unfold at the work of my hands, or my mouth, or my cock. The way her body would tense, her head thrown back, a scrunched brow. . . And the whines she’d emit. . .

I wished my guitar could make such a beautiful sound.

And the way she’d squeeze around me, engulfed in her perfect, wet heat. So tight, warm, and smooth like velvet. . . Fuck.

In my heart, though, I secretly hoped it would all change. That she’d decide to make it more.

I wouldn’t ever push it. She mattered too much to me for me to do that to her. I didn’t want to make her feel like she needed to be more with me if she didn’t want it. . .I just wanted her to want me like I did, her.

But, for the time being, until some sort of magic happened and she changed her mind, I would take what I could get.

Because, moments like the one I was in right now— her quivering and panting on top of me. Her sweaty tits, pressed against my thighs as her round, soft ass was flush against my equally sweaty abdomen.

I could feel every bit of her dripping pussy, fluttering around me. It was still slick from my mouth and how well I’d made her cum just minutes prior.

It felt so damn good and I was fucking loving every second of it. She fit my dick like a glove.

“Damn, baby,” I sighed, grunting with a thrust against her. When she squeaked with a moan, I knew that I’d hit a special spot. “You like that?”

I did it again, just to hear the noise she made for a second time. She constricted around me and my cock pulsed, suddenly feeling very close. Shit.

“Fuuuck,” she whined, her back arching. I held the curve of her ass in one hand, massaging the supple flesh with a thumb as I held her hip.

With another push of my hips, I met her sensitive spot one last time, eliciting a surprised whine from her.

I flipped us around, removing her from me, and turned her. When she sank back down, she was facing towards me, once again riding my throbbing cock.

But this view was better. Seeing her blissed out expressions as we fucked was amazing.

And when her tits bounced in my face, so round, full and sometimes already marked from my mouth, I had to try my hardest to not jizz right on the spot.

In moments just like these, I couldn’t stop myself from leaning forward to lick a hardened nipple into my mouth. I licked around her areola, appreciating every ripple and curve of the sensitive flesh. I pointed my tongue, and nudged at the bud, just like I knew she liked. I did so to each breast, knowing it would be sure to send her spiraling and wanting that from her.

And before long, I felt her walls start contracting around me. I leaned back, knowing she was close and needing to see her finish.

She looked down at me as she continued bouncing on top of me, her mouth opened just the slightest bit as she moaned at the angle. She relaxed her hips and flattened the inside of her thighs against the tops of mine.

“Fuck,” I sighed, enjoying the way I could feel every damn inch of her.

Though, I couldn’t help taking the reins for a moment to see her unfold in this position. Seeing her like this, letting the sun reflect off of her skin, beads of sweat glistening on her smooth skin. I had to let my lips find her shoulder as she rocked closer to me, and I kissed some of the sweet exertion off of her shaking body.

And when I leaned up, my body filled hers to the point of her throwing her head back with a loud moan. She came back to, immediately finding my eyes to look at me. A secret smile was on her face. I reciprocated it, letting the quiet moment drown everything else out.

But I snapped my eyes away from hers when she glanced between our bodies, mouth hanging open as she did so. I looked down, enjoying the entire view of her soft body. The movement of her hips, swaying steadily as she straddled me. . .completely mesmerizing.

When I looked back up, she was waiting for me. I found her gaze, and tried my best to memorize every fleck of color in her eyes, glowing in the fading sunlight from the day. The sunset complimented her, making her look like the most magnificent piece of artwork.

Fuck any other so-called famous painting. . .

Y/n put them all to utter shame.

Her eyebrows dipped in, and she kept eye contact with me. I circled my hips, feeling the way her soaking walls enveloped me. Then, I pounded up into her, savoring what I could do from my position below her. She tightened deliciously around me, constricting me in the most immaculate way.

She whined and whimpered, the sound like music to my ears. And I couldn’t help but echo the sound as I felt her release drip down onto me. Her soft body was tense as she finished. She was so tight and warm around me. . .shit.

Enveloped in ecstasy, she threw her head back as she rode out her orgasm on top of me. Even though I couldn’t see her face, I appreciated what I could see. I watched her hips, still rocking against me. The view of her fresh, sweet cum on my dick made me bite my lip.

I knew I was on the verge of release, and no matter how badly I wanted to paint her walls, I pulled out. (I wasn’t ever going to do that to her. She didn’t want it, and I wasn’t about to do it if it wasn’t what she wanted.)

When I pulled myself out of her, I took a brief moment to grab her by the hips and lay her on her back.

Her breasts were round and soft, nipples erect and begging to be covered with my climax from their home on her wet chest.

And as I jerked myself onto them, feeling immediate relief as I came, I briefly glanced up at her face to see her watching the entrancing sight with me.

“Like what you see?” I said, panting with one final pull of my hand against my cock, letting every last bit of me drain onto her.

And as I let go of myself, sighing with exhaustion, I grabbed my shirt from next to her head to wipe her chest clean. She gave me a fucked-out grin. Humming an affirmation to my question, she softly nodded her head with a yawn. Her eyes fluttered closed as she curled up on my bed, her hair fanned out on the pillow. I pulled the sheets and comforter up to rest over her arms, and the smile she sent me as I did so made my heart leap in my chest.

Dammit, she was a fuckin’ dream.

I got up to take a quick shower before the show we had tonight, leaving her to rest in my sheets. She was far too precious to disturb.

I loved the fact that she felt comfortable enough to do that; stay in my bed.

I knew she’d end up coming to the show tonight, and I was hoping her resting now would help her to feel fully awake to be a part of it with me.

She’d been consistent for the past couple of weeks with coming to every single show. I couldn’t help but notice that this whole fuck buddy thing had her wanting to be a part of my life more than before.

Our secret, somehow drawing us closer.

The nagging voice in my head kept reminding me that Josh was there, too, so it was possible it wasn’t all for me. . .but I also knew better and usually told the voice to shut the fuck up.

I wanted to enjoy myself—let myself be happy with her being there and not let pessimistic thoughts get in the way.

It was fucking fantastic when I’d perform, and I’d simultaneously know that she was out there, enjoying every second of it with me. I would never say it to her for fear of freaking her out, but . . .

She was my favorite fan to entertain. The best smile in the crowd for me to look out and see.

Anytime she was there, I knew for a goddamned fact I performed better. She was my lucky charm.

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

The rest of July and beginning of August were chock-full of the following: finishing your summer course, working almost double time to make up for Josh’s weird hours. . .and most importantly: fucking Jake Kiszka.

All of the time, as a matter of fact. It had become an almost-daily thing. And you weren’t about to let it change.

Because fuck was it the best sex you’d ever had. Jesus Christ.

You were fine with it being strictly sex. It was good for both of you. He was able to stay focused on his career, and you weren't at risk of getting hurt by him, or distracted from school. It kept lines very clear and thick. Never giving any kind of idea that it could become more. You’d have sex, then go about life like normal. In front of your friends, neither of you ever let anything look even slightly amiss— except for one thing you were sure they’d noticed.

Your relationship had changed from before. . . Friendship, making its grand entrance.

Having sex with Jake had, obviously, given you both several more opportunities to learn each other and bond. . . It had been impossible to not become friends. Being friendly to each other, including in front of everyone else was now the norm, and you really fucking liked it.

Being friends with Jake was honestly great. He wasn’t constantly on the defense anymore. Instead, hopping to your defense a few times.

Whether it be snapping at Sam for making a sideways comment he hadn’t thought of before he’d said it. Or the rando guy at the bowling alley who’d sized you up.

You’d never vocalize the way it would make your tummy flip or the way you’d think about it later when you’d fuck him nice and slow. . . The idea of him defending you, making your heart and body do funny things.

It was just nice to have a good friend.

And it was even more nice knowing you’d, more likely than not, end up in his bed at the end of each day.

But, of course, not letting yourself fall asleep in there as that would definitely blur the nice, comforting, dark lines that’d been drawn.

What you weren’t about to admit was how hard it was for you to leave him at night.

And how cold you’d feel, alone in your bed.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Quiet mornings with him might were the best and the worst.

The ones where you’d sneak into his room, always finding him still-asleep. You’d wake him up by crawling under the covers and slipping the band of his briefs down.

It had become so routine that it was like his cock would wait for you— already hard and the tip emitting the tiniest bit of precum.

Sometimes you’d ride it to wake him up. But, you honestly preferred the other times. . . Where you would let your mouth envelop the crown of his dick, and then the entire shaft in slow, languid strokes of your tongue.

And every time, to your pleasure, it didn’t take long for him to awaken. His tired eyes would open, finding you as he’d wipe the sleepiness from them.

A soft smile, gracing his handsome features.

Then, adding to your bliss, he would take control and fuck you until your toes would curl. The morning birds would chirp outside his window as you’d unravel at his hands, mouth, or thick cock. . . a most ideal start to your day.

Then, when he’d finish, you never found yourself looking at his face. You weren’t sure why, but it intimidated the hell out of you to witness what he looked like when he would unfold. You were sure his features looked the most beautiful they possibly could. . . Even just envisioning the dip of his brow, his mouth falling open as he emptied onto your chest, stomach, or back. . . It felt too intimate.

So, instead, you’d listen to the little noises he’d make, and watch his pretty dick pulse as it would spurt onto your breasts or tummy. The warmth of his release, a surprisingly wonderful feeling on your bare skin.

But the worst part would be after. . .when he’d clean you off with such care. How, after you’d return from the bathroom to refresh, he would be waiting for you, the covers open and an arm, extended and waiting for you to curl into. You would naturally mold to his side, his arm strong as it would help you roll into him. Usually, you’d fall asleep, with your head on his chest and hear his steady heartbeat lull you to sleep.

But, other times, like this morning, you’d sit your chin on top of your hand, resting on his chest. And you’d just. . . talk.

His calloused fingertips would draw mindless shapes on your back and you’d get lost in his chocolate irises.

“What’s your middle name?” He asked, his voice so relaxing in the gray quietness of his bedroom.

You told him, and he got a little glint in his eye. His lips had perked, “That suits you,” he sighed, letting a few fingers curl in your hair. He studied the way his fingers looked in your hair as you watched his pupils dilate in watching the action.

“What’s yours?” You’d wondered aloud.

His eyes found yours again, his brow raising. “Thomas,” he lazily responded.

“Suits you,” you repeated his line. Your eyes squinted with a giggle as he tickled your side just a bit.

“Copycat,” he smiled.

“It does fit you,” you confirmed, more seriously. “Jacob Thomas,” you said, trying the name on your lips.

You couldn’t help but catch how his eyes lit up at the sound. He bent his arm to perch his head up with his free arm, setting his head on the curve of his forearm.

“I like the way it sounds coming from your mouth,” he murmured.

“Say mine,” you requested.

And, he did as you said.

The grin that found its way to your mouth was unstoppable. You loved the way your name sounded with his velvety tone.

You’d never heard it sound so pretty.

For the next ten minutes, it went on like that.

Just little bits and pieces of yourselves, getting shared with the other. Things that didn’t expose your hidden truths, but little surface-level things that helped in knowing the other better.

And when you finally decided to get up and start your day, you stood next to each other as you brushed your teeth. It was sweet. And you felt close to him. You really, really liked it.

But what made it so bad was that you weren’t sure it was okay to feel so close to him. It wasn’t wise to let yourselves get so wrapped up in the other. . . But it felt too nice for the time being to put a stop to it.

You’d always convince yourself that friends did shit like that all the time. How else were you supposed to get to know someone?

So, you let it happen under the guise that it was just friends getting acquainted with each other.

It was just so intimate. . . And what it did to your heart was cruel.

Those quiet moments tempted you, made you want more with him. More you already knew you couldn’t ever have.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Friends was still going on in the background when your eyes opened. All of the lights were still on, and your laptop was balanced on your blanket-covered thigh.

And there was a giant crook in your neck from letting your head roll onto the back of the couch.

You must’ve dozed off in the middle of writing a paper.

Shouldn’t have had those couple glasses of wine. . ., you tiredly thought, going to snuggle back into the couch, in a more comfortable position.

But what caught you off guard was the hand rubbing your arm. The quiet voice, bringing you out of your daze.

“Y/n,” Jake urged, his hand still smoothing up and down your arm. “Come on, babe. Wake up. Let’s get you to bed.”

You huffed, sleep pulling you back. “Don’t want sex right now. Tired.”

He chuckled, his hand still massaging your arm. Then, he was pushing you up to a full sitting position, your head felt dizzy. “I know,” he reassured, his voice calming you down. “I mean, you need to go to bed. Go to sleep.”

You blinked your eyes, squinting in the brightness of the room. “I need to finish my paper.”

“You’re too tired to do that,” he said. “You were out of it when I got back. Finish your paper tomorrow.”

You drooped your head in defeat. “Fine,” you conceded. It took a couple tries of standing up for you to realize you couldn’t do it on your own, and before you could try again, Jake was helping you. “Thanks, Jakey,” you mumbled.

A few more guided steps to your bedroom found you sliding under your already-turned down sheets and down comforter. Jake helped your head find the pillow as you laid down to sleep.

Just as you were about to let sleep totally take you, you jostled with a thought. “Stevie hasn’t eaten yet,” you sleepily fumbled with your covers to get up.

Jake’s hand stopped your actions, “I already fed her,” he assured. “You go to sleep.”

“The TV and lights—.”

“I’ll turn them off,” he pulled the covers up to your chin. “Goodnight.”

Finally, you relented, and just seconds later, as you were about to fade into dreamland again, you stirred.

Too cold. Too lonely.

“Jake?” You called. Not hearing a response, you called again. “Jake?!”

He came back, rushing in with a worried look on his face. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You nestled back under your covers, relaxing knowing that he was near. Your eyes fell shut again. “Lonely,” you mumbled into the pillow.

“What?” He crouched next to your bed, brushing his fingers through your hair. “You’re hungry?”

Irritated, you flicked your eyes open to give him a look. “Lonely.”

“Oh,” he leaned back a bit, his hand falling from your hair. At the motion stopping, you whined, shutting your eyes. He got the hint and started again. “What do you want me to do about that?”

“Lay with me.”

“That’s against the rule—.”

“Not if you just lay with me for a little bit,” you muttered, opening your lids to give him your best puppy dog eyes. “Just until I fall asleep.”

“And what if I accidentally fall asleep?”

“Worry about it in the morning,” you scooted over a little, opening the bed up for him. “Please?”

He sighed before saying, “I need to finish cleaning up real quick. I’ll be back.”

And when he came back, he’d changed into pajama pants, sans a shirt. You nuzzled into his solid chest, and let his breaths be your white noise to get you to sleep.

It was the first night in weeks that you’d slept completely sound, not feeling any worries as you enjoyed a dreamless sleep.

-🌼🌼🌼-

He’d humored you a few times and went to the Black and Gold to look at vinyl with you on days you both had time off.

You’d spend a bit of time browsing, and then take breaks to bicker with each other. Music was still where you occasionally butted heads, but it had turned into the kind of head butting that you enjoyed.

It was a constant battle of challenging each other, and it gave you ample opportunity to defend the music you loved so much.

And more often than not these days . . . The little pokes and prods ended with you two conceding and giving the other person a chance.

Usually, you’d leave the store with a new record in tow that the other had recommended. And then, you’d go home and enjoy the music together, giving it a chance.

Then, normally, you’d end up bent over the couch as he railed you from behind, the records being the most incredible background noise to the moans and groans elicited between the two of you.

After that, the two of you spent and panting with his sweaty chest sticking to your equally sweaty back, you’d decide to order pizza and watch a few episodes of New Girl to finish the night.

-🌼🌼🌼-

“So, explain Baby Dragon.”

You giggled, just closing the K-Cup pod into the Keurig. “What?”

“Your nickname,” he affirmed, coming to stand with his butt pressed against the sink, arms crossed. His face was open, imploring out of mere curiosity.

“They decided to call me that when we started binging Game of Thrones together.”

He nodded. “I knew that part.” He continued, “But why?”

Humming, you took your coffee mug off the Keurig. You tapped your chin, holding the mug in the other hand. “Have you seen Game of Thrones?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “That shit’s right up my alley.”

“So, you know how the baby dragons are small, yet fierce?” You asked, taking a cautious sip of the hot drink. “The guys claimed I was super adorable and cute like them, too. Fuckin’ weirdos.”

It all clicked in his head, a smirk on his features as he nodded. “Duh, Jake,” he said to himself, shaking his head. “That makes so much sense. I don’t know why it didn’t click before.”

“To be fair, it could’ve meant a variety of things.”

He reached an arm above your head, getting his own K-cup and mug down from the cabinet and began his own brew as he eyed you up and down.

“You are fierce,” he agreed. But then he took a hand to your hip, squeezing. “But not quite as small as the baby dragons,” he snaked his hand around to hold a handful of your ass. You felt yourself immediately twitch with need. He leaned down and kissed your lips, his breath fresh from his Crest toothpaste. Your tummy filled with warm fuzzies. “You’re curvier. In all the best fucking ways,” he pulled away and you instantly missed him. He grabbed his coffee off the machine and added sugar.

You’d already started cracking some eggs for breakfast, as he went about getting the toast ready for you.

He placed a strong hand on your stomach, and you leaned into his touch as you scrambled your eggs. You tipped your head back as he swooped your hair to the side to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

Then, he was passing you as he made his way out and to the shower. But on his way out of the kitchen, he stopped to add, “And you’re way fuckin’ cuter.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

It was a steaming hot day in the middle of August when Sam proposed that everyone join him at this AirBnb he had booked.

(It had been a classic, weird Sam thing to book the AirBnb. Literally just getting it to spend the weekend hooking up with a girl he’d recently met.)

About halfway through the day, the sun beating down on all of you, Josh proposed using the little bar off the side of the place. Sam, Daniel, and Sam’s ‘friend’ had heartily agreed. You had as well, and went to get out with everyone else.

But then you heard Jake’s voice, and paused.

“Y/n and I are enjoying the water too much. ‘S hot as fuck,” he had said it loud enough for everyone to give simultaneous ‘okay!’s’ in response. They were all hurriedly making their way to the mini bar, leaving you in the pool.

You’d stopped yourself, still partially out of the pool, halfway up the ladder. Looking back at him, questioning, you found he was blatantly staring at your mostly exposed ass, that was peeking just above the water.

You squinted your eyes at him, as he lounged with his arms on the concrete edge of the pool. He was still sitting where he’d been last time you’d seen him. Sitting on a little ledge beneath the water. His sunglasses pushed down his nose a bit to expose his line of sight, burning into your ass.

And when everyone was out of earshot, you spoke. “Like what you see, Kiszka?”

His eyes snapped to yours when you’d spoken, a smirk gracing his dark features. “Fuck yeah I do,” he nodded his head at you once, signaling you to move. “Come over here.”

And without having to be told twice, you sunk back into the cool water, swimming over to meet him. Never breaking eye contact, you waded slowly and grabbed a noodle to rest your arms and breasts on as you floated over.

He continued on as you got close. “Did you have to wear the tiniest swimsuit you own?”

You looked bashful, but your smile was flirty. “Oh, you think it’s too small? Should I get rid of it?”

When you were close enough, he reached out a hand to pull you into him by your pool noodle.

He spoke softly in your ear. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare.”

Your skin blazed, you whispered in his exposed ear, his hair tucked behind it. “Why?”

He grabbed the noodle out from under your chest and threw it over the edge of the pool, landing with a flop on the pavement. And when he could, he grabbed you smoothly by your waist, into his crotch.

And you were suddenly able to feel why. He was hard against you, making your legs weak and your pussy flutter. He was smug, his sunglasses still pushed down as you matched his stare and met his boldness by wrapping your legs around him.

You used your new position to rock your hips into his, the pool waving out around you just a bit as you did so.

“You better be careful,” he said softly, his grip going to your round ass, your bottoms leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.

You tensed, gasping when you felt his fingers toy with the string of your bikini bottoms.

“The more noise you make, the sooner they’ll come back,” he swiftly untied one of the strings, exposing you to the water. The coldness made you hiss through your teeth. “Mm,” he hummed. “Cold, baby? Let me warm you up.”

A finger slipped inside of you and you had to bite your lip to hide the moan dying to leave your lips. You felt his finger slip in and out, in and out, getting closer to hitting your secret spot every time it would reenter. You wrapped an arm around his neck. “Your finger?” You asked haughtily, breathing heavy. “Was expecting mor—.”

You couldn’t hide the gasp as the one finger changed to two, plunging into you, his thumb drawing circles against your hard clit. “Better, princess?”

Changing from one arm around his neck to two, you thrusted into his fingers, rolling your hips to match his thumb on your clit. The water waved around you. Gripping his hair, you looked into his sunglasses, now pushed back up, his eyes blazing through the tinted lenses. Your body was shaking, but you weren’t going to cum like this.

You knew what you wanted right now and it wasn’t his fingers.

“Too scared to use your dick?” You challenged him.

He momentarily removed his fingers, roughly bringing you back to feel his thick, clothed shaft. Your bare folds pulsed at the feeling of him so close to you. You felt him twitch underneath you.

“What’s stopping you, Jakey?” You reached one hand, one arm keeping your balance to thrust into him, to play with the hem of his black trunks. “Afraid they’ll see?”

He replaced his fingers in you again, flexing them once again, this time meeting your g-spot. You exhaled above him, your body tensing. “Are you?” He questioned, seeming to genuinely wonder. “You don’t want them to know. I'm just trying to respect your rules, sweetheart,” he used the nickname, but his tone was anything but sweet, dripping with sarcasm.

You didn’t take the time to respond, stopping your movements briefly, and looking behind your shoulder to check if the coast was clear. You couldn’t even hear them anymore. They were gone for the time being. If you moved swiftly enough. . .

He looked disappointed for a second, but you couldn’t see what else his face did as you acted on your quick, risky idea, holding your nose to plunge underwater and pull his bottoms down, his hips moving up immediately to help you. You took no time to sink your wet mouth over his smooth cock. It wasn’t as heavy as you were used to on your tongue, the water helping with some sort of anti-gravity shit.

There was a hand in your hair, pushing you down onto him. You knew he’d like it. Keeping your nose pinched, you reached the other hand, slowly through the water, to wrap at his base, squeezing him. Your tongue licked long stripes on the underside of his dick, savoring it and meeting his head every time you squeezed him with your hand.

But you didn’t keep that way for long, needing to breathe. You pulled his bottoms almost all the way back up, but left his dick out. When you re-emerged, smoothing your hair back, you took a good look at his face, seeing his mouth hanging open.

Ha, gotcha, you thought, deviously. Just you wait, baby.

When you came back to him you took zero time as you reached below the water to find his length. You positioned yourself over it, quickly sinking onto him, ready to get this over with before people came back. But as your walls fluttered around him, you wished you were alone.

He felt so damn good. Fuck.

You wiggled your hips, the smallest whine escaping your lips at how well he filled you up. This caused his head to roll to the side the slightest bit, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Feel good?” You teased, rocking your hips on top of his thick cock. “We’ve gotta make this quick, so help a girl out.”

You shouldn’t have said anything, because as soon as the words left your mouth, he was grasping your hips, leveling himself to slam up into you.

The loud moan that left your mouth was unavoidable, and you clasped a hand over your mouth to keep your noises hushed.

He raised his hips as forcefully as he could with the weight of the water, lifting you up and down a few times, and you matched him with measured rolls of your hips.

Without any warning, he pulled a triangle of your swim top to the side to see a tit as they bounced with each thrust. He leaned forward a bit, licking a circle around your nipple and then grasped your boob in his strong hand as he pumped with merciless rhythm into you.

“Fuck,” you moaned through your hand. Your breast was still tingling from where he licked it. But now you had the friction from his palm against your nipple, combined with his movements. . . And it was too much. You removed your hand, leaning to whisper in his ear. “More, Jake.”

And, without relenting even a bit, he started giving you exactly what you asked for. It was slightly painful, but it was what you needed at that moment.

You started groaning into his ear, feeling his thickness slide smoothly within you. Sensing your need, he slipped a thumb between you to rub even circles against your bundle of nerves. The steady circles, along with the erratic thrusts of his dick into you, sent you spiraling, quick.

Knowing you well, he pushed your mouth into his sweat-drenched neck. Your tongue found the saltiness of his skin, kissing his neck to mask the noises that left you, your legs quivering as you finished.

Just as soon, he was pulling himself out of you, and lifting his bottoms back up to cum behind the black material.

You dunked beneath the water to cool off, and to your happy surprise, he joined you, his sunglasses off. Looking into his eyes for as long as you could, you sent him a little grin, going to lift back up. But before you could, he grabbed you swiftly behind your neck and met your lips underwater.

As soon as you parted, you were rising back up, pushing your hair back as he placed his sunglasses over his eyes again.

And, as if on cue, you heard feet scuttling back to the pool just as you were adjusting your top and re-tying your bottoms above water.

“Drinks!” Josh sang to you both. He handed both you and Jake your respective beverages. You sipped yours, and Jake took a healthy swig of beer as soon as they were placed in your hands.

“This is fucking delicious,” you commented. “What is it?”

“Pineapple Upside Down,” Sam’s girl-thing responded, sipping her own.

You hummed, nodding.

Taking another drink, you went to sit it down on the pool when Danny piped up. “Whatever the hell you guys were playing while we were gone. . . We’re in.”

You went silent, not even daring to look over at Jake. Though, you could hear as he started choking on his drink.

“So much splashing!” Sam added. “It sounded fun!”

“Sunken Treasure, I’m sure,” Josh chimed in, grabbing the sinking stick from the ledge next to his long-haired twin. “You guys know Jake loves that game.”

The other two gave sounds of agreement. Your belly flipped.

Letting yourself look over at Jake, he was looking at Josh, nodding, trying his best to look convincing. “Hell yeah,” he piped up. “It’ll be more fun with more people though.”

“Well then. . .let’s play!” Josh yelled, excited. His new curls, sopping wet and sticking to his forehead as he threw the stick into the water.

Before you started playing, you sent a secret glance to your roommate, who was already smirking over at you.

Your cheeks heated, getting a thrill at how oblivious all of your friends were to what you had truly been “playing.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were with Theo at a coffee shop, studying for the final in your summer course, when the first email came in.

The first email that signaled the end of summer. The usual “Welcome Back!” email which included too many campus announcements and upcoming events. . .

Your heart sunk when you saw it come in.

Deep in your gut, you knew that this was what you’d been dreading since starting things with Jake.

Real life getting in the way of summer and the fun you’d been having with Jake.

You didn’t know why, but this email seemed to scream at you that you needed to get your shit together.

And, as hard as it was, you were going to try your damndest to ignore the voice in your head for the time being. It was the same aggravating, pessimistic voice that bothered you consistently by speaking so-called reason into your life.

(The same, familiar one that’d looked out for you as you’d grieved your mother leaving you as a little girl.)

This time, it felt as though the voice was also telling you that when school started, it would be time to cut things off with Jake.

It’s not a smart decision to start your senior year distracted, y/n, it chided.

But you didn’t want to listen to that fucking voice.

Not yet.

Summer wasn’t over. And you weren’t about to let the damned nagging voice end your fun (and newfound, genuine happiness) too soon.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You came home from studying, close to tears. It was ridiculous. There was no reason to be so sad about all of this ending. It was literally just sex. You could get it elsewhere.

But I don’t want it elsewhere, you thought. I only want it with Jake. Fuck. Why?

If you thought about it long enough, you’d let yourself see why. But you weren’t about to do that. Hell no.

To your surprise, while you were feeding Stevie, you felt a tear hit your hand.

You groaned, wiping furiously under your eyes, pressing your palms to your heated cheeks. “Stupid,” you told yourself, hearing your voice was thick with tears.

Just as you felt another tear leave your eye, the front door opened.

You tried to turn before Jake could see you, but Stevie came up to your leg, purring to comfort you before you could. Shit.

“Y/n?” He said, placing a comforting hand on your back. Hesitantly, you looked up at him through your tears. Why were you crying so fucking much? “You okay, baby?”

The pet name was the final straw, and instead of it making you angry with him that he’d said it, it sent you curling into his arms.

Letting your tears soak his shirt, you cried out of ridiculous sadness that you’d have to say goodbye to this thing you had with him soon. Too soon.

You couldn’t keep it. You would never let whatever this was distract either of your paths. And you knew eventually it would. Better to end it before that ever happened.

But not yet.

And, as always, you were set on it not being something to lose your best friend over. If Josh were to find out of it happening, you knew his trust would be completely betrayed.

This wasn’t something that was meant to last. You’d known that from the beginning. So why was it feeling so hard to face right now?

Because you’re finally feeling true happiness and trust with someone new—someone special— for the first time in years, the sweet, comforting voice in your head spoke. Because he is something special and you know it.

You continued to feel Jake, running his fingers through your hair, rubbing your back in comforting strokes. “Shhh,” he soothed. You raised your head from his chest and he used his thumbs to wipe away the excess tears. When eventually you’d caught your breath, he asked. “What happened?”

Looking up at him, you found his brow furrowed in concern. You couldn’t fully tell him what you were actually upset about. Absolutely not.

Moving away from him the slightest bit to gain your bearings, you sniffed a few times. “Just intimidated by what’s to come, I guess,” you said, not lying. Just not giving the whole truth. “Not ready for life to change with senior year and stuff.”

He lifted his lips in a reassuring grin, his eyes full of empathy for your current state. “I get that,” he said, his raspy voice ever-soothing. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, smoothing your cheek in the process. “But surely it won’t be too bad, right?”

You had to bite your lip to keep another sob from breaking loose. Sniffing the tears back, you nodded, slapping a fake smile on your face. “Yeah. Not too bad.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: as the saying goes, good things don't always last forever. . . next chapter will bring some changes for our precious y/n and jake . . . what do you think those changes will be?

please, as always, don't hesitate to reach out! i love, love, love hearing from you all! your feedback means the world to me <3

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& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

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