#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orbleglorb · 8 months

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ok. i have more thoughts than what can fit in the tags but i don't want to respond to the post. so im going to copy and paste it here (with some changes so it doesn't show up in search):

fi ddlysticks: strange take but "thoughtcrimes aren't real even with your trans loved ones/friends and you can't hurt them just by thinking wrong somehow" and "you need to make an effort to change the way you mentally perceive your trans loved ones/friends because if you let yourself just see them as their birth gender in your mind, OR even just start mentally sorting them as 'AFAB/AMAB', you are much more likely to fuck up in your language and behavior" are things that can and should coexist

wor th beyond a number scale: I think the emphasis on a person not being evil for their thoughts is usually aimed the most if not specifically at people with intrusive thoughts, which are not controllable and usually not pleasant nor wanted by the mentally ill person experiencing them. Intrusive thoughts like this are especially common for people with morality OCD subtypes because our brains love to torture us by attacking our values. So saying stuff like "Yeah, your thoughts aren't technically hurting anyone, but you still need to purify your thoughts because those thoughts of yours ARE, in fact, your beliefs no matter how much you say they aren't" can be very harmful. Even if this post wasn't aimed at mentally ill people, any mentally ill person who reads this post is likely going to have extreme difficulty not viewing this post as aimed at them, like people with OCD who already obsess over the morality of their thoughts and whose mental disorders would swallow this post up happily.

my thoughts:

i don't like the line "Even if this post wasn't aimed at mentally ill people, any mentally ill person who reads this post is likely going to have extreme difficulty not viewing this post as aimed at them..." because at a certain point, it does become the mentally ill person's responsibility to cope. it becomes nigh impossible to not trigger people's ocd when talking about how your perception of your world and the people around you influence your actions. thoughtcrimes posts are not exclusive to those with ocd and intrusive thoughts, partly because of the term "thoughtcrime" being corrupted over time. but, like, "you are not morally reprehensible for struggling to change your perception of someone" and "it is your responsibility to change your perception of someone" are two concepts that need to co-exist, and that's what i thought the point the original post was trying to make. i feel like the person responding assigned morality that wasn't in the original post. which is understandable! most ppl who talk about this do assign morality to these concepts. plus, the op used word choices that weren't the best. hell, op could have subconsciously assigned morality to it, and that's their fuckin problem to fix! but i just didn't see any sort of "your thoughts are evil and you need to purify them" in the op. i saw "sometimes you will incorrectly gender people and nobody can change how you perceive things but you." your thoughts do not indicate your beliefs, but there is a difference between beliefs and perception of the world, you know? like you can believe that gender is malleable and trans people aren't their birth gender and still fall into thinking in a binary or struggle to perceive your trans friend differently. and again. you are not a bad person for that. i, as a trans person, struggle with this. it is really fucking hard for me to change how i see people in any context, and i still think in a very binary way because that's what society shoves down our throats. we are trained to think this way. so it doesn't make you a bad person for you to struggle with that. it doesn't make your thoughts evil. your thoughts don't always match your beliefs, and your beliefs can be hard to cement into your brain. your intrusive thoughts are not your beliefs or secret desires or anything!! but it also doesn't mean that how you perceive the world doesn't come out through your actions and words. it doesn't mean that you do not affect other people. sometimes you do things that hurt people's feelings and that is okay. it truly is okay. but we cannot just abstain from pointing out thinking errors and ways that people can inadvertently hurt others because it might trigger someone's ocd. that is a situation where the person needs to practice coping mechanisms, you know? it's not black or white, this or that. it's not good people and bad people. none of the things op said inherently have morality attached to them because it's so much more complex than most people will admit, or even be able to comprehend.

and, hey, i could be projecting here. i probably am. i spent a lot of time around people who struggle to see how they affect other people. i struggled with understanding how i affected other people. that's just a universal human thing, in my experience.

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dislifeismid · 2 years

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How about headcanons for the tang brothers and mori with a chubby s/o?

Damn. I used to be chubby and then stopped eating and lost lotta weight.. still look chubby :/ i got them thicc thighs and some stomach. Like my friend... instead she worked hard and did sports to loose weight. Our body types still make us look kinda chubby. Everyone's different and copes with how they look differently so i'll try to give like various responses here??? But!! Everyone is different, and, how you feel and how you deal with something like weight is always up to you!!

With a chubby s/o

Tang xuan

I've mentioned somewhere i believe Xuan believes in smoll tiddy girl supremacy. I think he just likes boyish body types. Or slender males.

But!!! Xuan falls in love with the person before their looks, ok!!! And! He loves you!!

Loves taking you out to get snacks at the nearest store

He loves working out and doing physical activities- hopefully you join him?! Never because he wants you to loose weight and you know this. Your adorable boyfriend just genuinely wants to share his passion with you!!!

So so supportive always 24/7 you will never not feel loved if you date Xuan no matter who you are tbh.

Tang yun

Will not comment or acknowledge it. As per anything else...

Silently likes to wrap his arms around your waist, leaning against you. grabby little hands greedily pawing at the chub of your stomach, or thighs, sometimes.

More of you to own/love, why would he complain.

Will never share his snacks with you though. Suffer in silence.

Favorite activity gotta be resting on your lap 🙏

How are you chubby but Yunnie has more cake still hmm?? 🤨🤨

Suspicious.

Mori

Doctor mode. He can't help it, habits are hard to break. He'l bring it up super professionally- do you want to loose some weight? Talk about it. He's willing to help in any way he can. You'l have to be comfortable with talking about stuff like this tbh.

And as per his doctor agenda he will never bring up how you look or how much you weight strictly outside a health setting. He will also tend to be annoyed if you check your weight often, always tapping you with his notepad with a "that's not reliable, dumbass." It's dangerous to attribue a number to that stuff. He doesn't want you relying on the scale.

Will not ever shame you for anything. His only concern in his life is your health, nothing else. Will never be rude about how you look or how much you weight.

He actually likes curvy and thicker girls more, (contrast to Xuan), he thinks they're more attractive. He likes hips especially. If you're amab, not really any different from if you weren't chubby. It hits him different for women because Gozu activates some moo moo brain part of him that sees wide hips and mixes it with his doctor knowledge to just flash "very fertile good for kidz"

Smiles softly while calling you cute names relatively associated to cattle. You might take it as insult. Usually someone calling you a cow would get like, a slap across the face. Mori says it in such an endearing way- you're HIS little moo moo. :C it's 100% fine if you don't like it!! He will stop! But, as i said, dumb little cow brain just associates chub with being a viable mate. And. Yeah. Yknow. You're his little cow :C he thought it was cute, he's sorry 😭 he looks very cute when apologizing so forgive him.

May steal your food. How is it fair he gains no weight he eats more than you do. "Do you need me to explain metabolisms again?" He says, mouth stuffed with choco cookies. 🫠

He's like a mom keep this man's knowledge away

#mori gozu tennou x reader #tang xuan x reader #tang yun x reader

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minty-tea-soup · 1 month

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https://www.tumblr.com/mousegirlheart/712995877228298240/mouse-yaoi-real

Idk it seems ciscentered, trans excluding to treat “male mice” like a coherent thing — rather than some construct we assign to them like how we assign it with amab people — and then further to conflate 2 male mice together as being yaoi and gay… it reinforces being “male” (amab) as a biological thing not something to do with gender and identity.

I don't know if you are a mutual or follower who has just never seen the post before or I'm just a person out of 31.1k reblogs that post had that you are sending this message to over and over. But I would truly love to know exactly how you wanted a news article that is trying to have the catchiest headline phrase this in a way that was more trans-inclusive for the mice. Sure the language isn't the best, but it gets the point across in the shortest amount of words knowing that not a lot of people will actually read or click for the whole thing.

However thanks for this message cause I went back and did actually find the article to fully read it. And yeah it is thinking of cis couples with no chromosomal issues or abnormalities. On good news for you most likely this won't be available for humans until minimum of ten years so you have ten years to figure out the best language for scientists to use to address same sex couples that both carry XY chromosomes and want to have a child that is both of theirs genetically. Especially in advertising. I believe in you!!

That being said yeah a lot of biological science isn't very trans-inclusive in their terminology mainly because its a shorthand to get a concept out to the populous that they will understand.

Honestly makes me think of the first time I was buying adapters for my computer and accidentally didn't realize what female and male parts for adapters were cause didn't even think about how some people would need to connect two different male-ending cables together and ended up with a cord that had a female (place to plug in) c place and HDMI place. Not helpful. And the female/male thing confused me for a little bit before I realized it was literally a reference off of sex.

Now I think of that Anti-gay poster from Australia with the seatbelts. Would it be great if cables had a different term? Yeah but I can't think of one right now.

-But I digress just brain is making silly connections.

Though I do want to point out that the link you sent isn't even the post I reblogged. Cause I specifically reblogged one that had the wonderful addition: "Mpreg (Mouse Pregnancy)" which in my mind is the most important part of that post.

It made me laugh so I reblogged.

Will be honest should I have responded to your message? No probably not, most likely you are a troll or someone that I really don't want to get into an internet debate with. But even more I love responding to people in general. I am a person who will pick up spam calls. I sincerely hope you have a wonderful day and thanks for helping me procrastinate my writing!

Next time maybe talk to me off anon so we can keep going?

#Rambles of a tired rat #Eh #Honestly don't know what anon wanted me to say #I'm genderfluid but like that doesn't change anything about a post I didn't make #or a company I don't work for

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junkieboyfriend · 2 years

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[be me in therapy]

My therapist: don’t take this the wrong way; and you can say absolutely no if you don’t agree but… have you ever considered possibly being neurodivergent? Like maybe that you’re somewhere on that spectrum?

Me: (fuck that makes sense) I’d totally be open to the idea…

Therapist: would you be open to an evaluation possibly?

Me: (oh fuck it’s happening) I mean yeah, when I don’t know how to identify certain things it upsets me, so I’d definitely like to know how my brain works. I’ve definitely noticed that I get bullied and I don’t really know why…

[goes home]

Me: babe my therapist suggested I might be neurodivergent

Babe: I mean yeah, you inherited it from your grandma (talking about my depression & anxiety)

Me: no, babe, like…. ADHD… & I think she mentioned the spectrum… and sometimes afab people aren’t even diagnosed with ADHD because it presents differently then in amab people — the main demographic they used to base the diagnostic symptoms on.

Babe: [silently on phone while I talk about the possibilities]

Babe: yeah it definitely seems like you’d be ADHD; like you can’t do anything if you aren’t interested in it.

Me: [hasn’t gone back to college, has no career path or life goals, easily overwhelmed, prone to outbursts, lives for pure hedonistic reasons]

REALIZATION

Me: oh fuck….

#neurodivergent #therapy #evaluation #personal #txt post #irl txt post

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botanyshitposts · 3 years

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Isn’t asking if you’re male or female just a shortened version of asking if you’re amab or afab? I only ask because English is not my first language and these things seem so foreign to me.

yeah, i mean, that’s the thing. if an important medical thing put ‘are you a male or female’ on a form and handed it to me, i would say male, because that’s what i am and i’m assuming that they’re asking for gender; but if they said ‘is your sex male or female’, i would get confused at if they were actually asking for sex or if they were interpreting sex and gender as being the same thing, which would put me in a situation where i have to decide if it’s safe to out myself to ask for clarification. however, if they say ‘is your sex at birth male or female?’ i would say im afab, because i am, and inevitably this means im in a different situation (medically) than other guys in a lot of cases (if you’re an intersex person in any of these situations, quite honestly im not sure what you would do unless they have a ‘prefer not to answer’ box).

now, i have come across forms in the past that have asked for my gender and then my sex in another question, and that clears it up for me, too, although then you have the uncomfortable situation of the people behind that form knowing im trans whether i want them to know or not. for instance, an lgbt club at school asking for x form; is it necessary that they know im trans, or can i keep that private and leave my situation at my discretion? meanwhile if it’s a form for an affirmative surgery center i’d be okay with it, because that’s a place that 1. needs to know i am trans, 2. is open with me about what exactly they are doing with that information and how it relates to my care, and 3. probably won’t be phased in the slightest.

so, all these things together: i honestly think that ‘is your sex assigned at birth male or female?’ is a great way to phrase it in a situation like a COVID vaccine form, because 1. i dont need to explicitly tell them im trans for them to know what they need to know to treat me, and 2. quite frankly (and this matters especially in 2021), it’s not too intrusive for people who would fly into rage upon seeing the question ‘what gender are you’. hell, if you’re a cis person filling out that form, you might not even know or care why it’s worded the way it is. it’s functional without pandering, discrete, clear, and still accommodates a large range of people, because on this scale transphobes are going to have to get vaccinated, too, and (as we’re seeing in more conservative parts of the country), demographics like that are already very, very skeptical of vaccines and medical professionals without having to face the obvious utter agony of a form that asks for both sex and gender (terrible, awful, ben shapiro says its destroying society, etc). if you’re looking to vaccinate the population of the united states, which is already incredibly politically volatile for many justified and unjustified reasons and sees trans rights as something to debate at best without counting the amount of people who have been indoctrinated into alt-right online conspiracy theories over the past year, like... its just a really, really smart way to phrase it so only the people who find it relevant will really notice it (unless youre a conservative who has trans people living rent free in your mind at all times).

it’s just so much to think about when designing a question like that in a context like this. like. gonna write a big brained breadtube video essay on the COVID vaccine form’s sex question brb

#this is yet another super unessasarily long answer but like. this is just really interesting the more i think about it #not plonts #asks #science communication #Anonymous

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butchhamlet · 3 years

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hi, can i have some of your gender thoughts about king lear? i loooove reading your tags and comments and just want to share All The Opinions about edmund finding his gender and his place in the world, while edgar lets *go* of his gender and just a lot of social markers. and!? you mentioned the cordelia character in your retelling is trans!? yes please!!

of course!!! not sure how much more i can offer about edgar and edmund because i wrote up most of those thoughts in these posts which i know you’ve seen dfkhdsfjdsbfs but i just think it maps so well onto the two of their stories. edmund being so so sure of himself and who he is but trapped in a society that makes him an outcast for reasons he can’t control. edgar being the “legitimate son” but having no idea who he really is... it’s trans free real estate it just IS (plus the idea of both of them figuring it out because of each other. edmund wanting to be more like edgar and then edgar wondering if he, perhaps, is like edmund in this way... your fic lives rent free in my head. these two destroy me)

i also think trans edmund (or honestly... any lgbt edmund. shoutout to my dear friend @lesbianedmund for writing - guess what - lesbian edmund fic. lives in my brain) makes it more poignant if goneril and regan are lgbt too!! like!! if the lear sisters are sapphic, if edmund can connect to them on that point of being othered in this society, about fighting tooth and nail in a world that will never accept you, because even if they’re princesses and he’s a bastard what the three of them really are is unloved -- i think it adds to that sense of it being Them Against The World. like, no wonder goneril’s willing to kill her husband over the first person who’s ever made her feel this understood, you know?

(god, this play makes me insane.)

edgar in my Vision TM is always amab, raised gloucester’s Proper Son, but like. he’s nonbinary. he is nonbinary he just IS. edgar i nothing am. edgar leaning into the shedding of all of his identities, “maleness” among them, and becoming someone who is maybe still gloucester’s child but definitely not his legitimate son anymore. and i also think the fool is nonbinary!! because it goes with the whole thing about no one else being able to make sense of them, and the way they straddle various identities without really being a knight or a royal or a servant entirely. and like... we talk about the way the fool and edgar connect out on the heath in terms of madness, feigned or real, and so the idea of them having a moment of connection about gender as well would just be so. it would be so. ;-; (every shakespearean fool is trans prove me wrong. you can’t. feste. touchstone. lear’s fool. all trans)

AND YES my cordelia is trans as well!! not just in my retelling but in the version of king lear that lives in my head. consider: um if cordelia isn’t trans why did lear describe her voice as “soft, gentle, and low” (yes i know low can mean quiet. i know. shh)

ANYWAY this is just me once again pointing the transgenderification beam at every character i like, but i think it really fits in terms of how it could affect

1. her family relationships -- how long did lear raise her thinking he was raising a son? is that part of why he’s so used to depending on her, and why he had the highest hopes for her? did goneril and regan grow up thinking cordelia was separate from them for that reason, because she was a “brother” and a “son” and not One Of Them? is that part of why she seems excluded from their solidarity? (i’m really obsessed with the idea of a lear who got way too attached to his “son”/heir and then once she came out just... didn’t stop favoring her. maybe goneril and regan THOUGHT that now she was their sister it would be different. but it wasn’t! and so they have to wonder if maybe it’s not her gender but just something about her that makes her inherently more lovable than them...)

2. her character, because cordelia’s Main Thing is that she stands up for what she believes and says what she thinks, no matter what she’s Supposed to do. & that transfers (no pun intended) really well into the same kind of self-determination that makes Edmund Trans so powerful imo: it’s the act of standing up and saying, “actually, no matter what you said i was, i’ve made myself into something that is different, and i won’t back down.” (plus... maybe lear handled her coming out all right, and maybe she thought this meant he clearly wouldn’t be mad if she kept telling him the unexpected. and he wasn’t until he was.)

3. the way she and edmund are foils; re: that note of societal resistance and sticking closely to their beliefs despite what the rest of the world says, NOW plus the added point of the two of them transitioning in different directions, and acting, in a way, as mirrors of each other. and that can make it even clearer that edmund, in a lot of ways, is the anticordelia -- unloved and unaccepted, making his way in the world through lies, where she’s beloved until she damns herself with truth. AND of course it can add another note of tension if edmund’s still an outcast and cordelia isn’t. (in my retelling, both the cordelia character and the edmund character are out, but her family accepts her where his father doesn’t, so it’s. messy. very “well of course the golden girl can do what she wants but somehow i’m still a mistake”)

and hey yeah on that note i sure am writing a retelling! it’s fucked up! and obscenely long! and there’s magic in it! and the main characters are varying degrees of gay, trans, and neurodivergent! and i am pushing the edmund-and-cordelia-are-trans-and-also-foils agenda like you’ve never seen so. If You Like This Post You May Well Like That [jazz hands] okay self-promo hour is over but im ALWAYS happy to talk about trans shakespeare and lear is such a play for it, man! such a play!

#max.txt #i hope this is coherent! it's heartfelt! but is it coherent!#lear #edmund #edgar #cordelia #the fool #since they're mentioned #asks #...i need a tag for trans shakespeare stuff. let me think of a pun about it #lizardrosen #update: it's #bottom bless thee thou art trans #ty anon

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centuriantalevevo · 3 years

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Draco x Nonbinary Reader

Reader is AMAB, also this contains my headcanons lmao- hella OOC because of that (one of my headcanons, Draco has like.. multiple cousins who are basically on crack /j)

TW: transphobia and enbyphobia, with talk of biphobia. LGBTphobia in general. Misgendering

5th year is.. Hectic.. Especially for a certain kid, Y/N L/N, who had to deal with a literal pink toad this year. Like.. ew? What made it worse, was they seemed to be the only kid in the school, well Slytherin specifically, that was… Different. Not in the normal, cliche sense, where ‘oh Y/N was drop dead gorgeous but abused by everyone around her, she can sing amazing-’, no. This isn’t your typical x Reader story, Y/N was different in the sense of Identity, Gender, specifically Gender Norms. They seemed to be all alone on this feeling, a feeling of discomfort, a feeling of loneliness despite multiple friends being in the room with them at this moment. They were away from earth, where no words can hurt. Where the erasure cannot get to them.

Oh god did the words hurt.

Oh? What words? You’re about to find out.

“No, but did you hear some of the bullshit Umbridge was saying?” He asked, he as in the blonde. Draco. Draco Malfoy. “Especially to my cousin-” “You have a cousin?” Pansy asked, “Welcome to the conversation, first time speaking to me?- Yes, you are hella late to the conversation.” Draco groaned, “Now let me get back to the story” “Continue, which cousin? Darla?- Dominic?-” Blaise asked, “No, Jamie..” He responded quickly, “Oh hold on, what did the toad do to Jamie? I swear, if she hURT THAT PRECIOUS CHILD- Gryffindor or not, I love that girl to death” Blaise said quickly, interrupting Draco.

The blonde sighed deeply, “Blaise.. I love you to death but holy shit let me finnish, alright..” He took a breather, Y/N came back from their little world, queuing into the conversation. “Okay, so Umbridge had the AUDACITY to misgender MY COUSIN OVER AND OVER again! Misgendered her, invalidated her, you know that rule about like.. Something distance from the opposite gender? Yeah she’s forcing Jamie, a literal girl, to distance from girls and not guys-” He halted for a second, “No, my bad.. She’s forcing Jamie to stay away from both because she believe that Jamie is gay.. No, Jamie is a whole straight girl..” Draco ranted, “um.. Sorry to interrupt but… Jamie’s a girl? So how was she invalidated?” Y/N asked, tilting their head, Draco’s eyes moved to them, softening some.

“Oh, you didn’t know? I thought everyone knew. Jamie is trans, she’s a trans girl specifically”

THERE! THERE IT WAS! They weren’t alone now.. There was someone who understood, yet they’d been clueless this whole time.

“I swear I will jack that woman UP” Blaise said lowly and Draco nodded in agreement. “Jamie was CRYING when she came to me, she could barely speak. That poor girl passed out from crying so much. She felt so hurt and the amount of dysphoria she felt was astronomically high.” He sighed, even he wanted to cry. “Like, damn bitch you didn’t have to out yourself as a whole LGBTphobe, you could’ve just stayed quiet and it would cost you nothing yet you chose to mess with a child who is related to the MALFOY family, very smart yes mhmm..” He growled in aggravation “Only merlin knows what she’d do if there was a nonbinary in the school, she’s probably dehumanize them.” He shook his head.

“I’d commit a hate crime if I’m honest” Dominic said, coming from the stairs of the boys dormitory, “The LGBT had their way for a moment because she hadn’t thought about the gays, bisexuals and lesbians. Well.. the gays and lesbians, I don’t think she thinks Bisexuals exist..” He hummed, “She’s enforced the rule so now Darla can’t be near Daphne, luckily I don’t have a boyfriend.. The one time being single is a good thing.” Dominic dramatically cried.

“I will prove bisexuals exist, damn seems like I gotta stay away from ALL of you, sorry” Draco jokes, but was dead serious at the same time. “Until then, if there are nonbinaries in the school, technically they can by-pass the rules, if they present as masculine one day feminine the next. Or just androgynous to confuse the toad.” Draco then added, “I think I have to stay away from you guys too, shit Bisexuals can’t do ANYTHING” Blaise said, pretending to get up and leave.

So.. the students know of the nonbinary gender…

“Although, no surprise, Snape is always the decent one, along with all the other professors, and respect the trans kids pronouns, I’ve gone into his class to give him something during one of his lessons and heard him deliberately calling out kids that misgendered Jamie, it was amazing. And everyone says Snape is a bad teacher.” Draco says, smiling some at the memory. “Ooo! Speaking of which! While in Umbrdige’s class I think.. A few days ago, Snape actually found out about the incident and told her the fuck off for it-” “Damn, snape really said ‘trans rights are human rights’, go off honestly” Dominic interrupted, Draco nodded “The best look honestly, it was pure bliss watching that.” He responded.

Y/N finally managed to form words. “I.. didn’t know there was a trans person in the school.. A fellow trans person..” They said, mumbling the last part quietly, but Draco, Dominic, and Blaise caught it. “Fellow trans person?” Blaise tilted his head, and Draco glanced knowingly, the last part of their sentence was all he needed. They shook their head quickly, “Nothing” They shrugged, “Just nice to know”

It hurt, to be misgendered everyday, to be fair no one knew they were misgendering the kid. But they were so scared of being erased, discriminated against, that they said nothing. Since 1st year, pretty much.

They stretched some, “I'm gonna head to the library, I need to get studying done for Defense Against the Dark Arts, I’ll talk to you guys later.” They smiled, getting up, and grabbing paper, a quill, ink and their books from their dorm. Speed walking out, though it didn’t take long to hear a second pair of footsteps racing after them. Who the-

“Hey, Y/N..” Draco trailed of, catching up to them quickly, “What’s up?” They looked at him from the corner of their eye, “There’s something you never told anyone, isn’t there?” He asked. Y/N averted their eyes and shook their head, “Nn… No..?” They sounded unsure, “Is that a statement, or a question because you don’t know?” He asked. He didn’t wanna be rude, but this was the only way he could truly confirm. If there was someone he had been accidentally misgendering, he wanted to stop that quickly.

“I don’t wanna sound rude, nor put you on the spot.. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but.. What are your pronouns?” he asked, he knew of the nonbinaries, he knew of them.. So it’s fine to tell him, yes? He was basically defending them. They shook their head, not ready yet. “Not ready? That’s fine, I can respect that. You can always tell me, you know that right? I’ll understand. And if not me, then Jamie will.” heHe had sincerity in his voice, Y/N simply nodded. “Noted, thanks Draco..” They smiled and headed to the Library.

The next day, Defense Against the Dark Arts was boring as ever, all because of Umbridge. But she had a new lesson today, not the normal one though. She had been doing her usual bullying of Jamie, Draco had been on edge and heard about it earlier, fairly quickly too. It was like it was her MISSION to be an LGBTphobic idiot with no life. Jamie had mentioned nonbinaries before she dipped from class, arguing about trans in general with the woman, or.. Monster.. Both terms work. So she was now here, in front of kids, spewing out enbyphobic shit, and not planning on stopping.. Y/N was starting to cry, but tried their best to hold it in.

The first person to notice the distress was Draco, Hermione did too, as she sat behind Y/N but could see them jolting some, “These.. Non-binaries, are less than human. You’re either a boy, or a girl. Everyone agrees, yes? If you are born a girl, you’re a girl. If you’re born a boy, you’re a boy. It’s a mental disorder, and you need to be fixed-” “They’re normal.. They just happen to not feel like a guy or a girl..” Y/N said quietly, “Trans folk are human, they aren’t an it.. That’s incredibly hurtful..” They said, it took all their strength to keep their voice from cracking.

“What was that Mr. L/N?” Umbridge smiled that sweet yet disgusting smile, tilting her head.. No, that smile had more dangerous intent behind that. They flinched. “Is there something you would like to say sir?” She asked, stopping in front of them. “Trans people.. Are people.. Just because you’re too ignorant to learn doesn’t.. M..mean you- b-bring someone down b-beca-use of it..” Their voice started to crack, they hiccuped some. “I’m sorry.. Do you think you have more knowledge than me?” She asked, her tone was dangerous. “Y..yes. Clearly, I’ve d-done my research on this, th-there is science tha-at defends us” They said.

“Detention Mr. L/N.. For talking back to a teacher, when I am giving a lesson you are to listen, you’re too caught up in whatever freak show you tra-” Umbridge was cut off, “Don’t you DARE finish that damn sentence, I can promise you I am not against hitting a teacher and a woman at that.” Draco intervened, “There is a lot of science that backs transgenders up, plenty of brain science has shown there is a female and male brain, that’s what backs up trans girls and trans boys, the nonbinary is still being researched, but I can assure you it is much more than a mental illness. Yes, dysphoria is a disorder, it CAN be treated, it can be treated with Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT. It can be treated with transitioning. Some nonbinaries transition, some don’t feel dysphoric enough to transition, but at the end of the day they are still a they, I am still a he, and you are still a she. Just imagine if someone called you ‘he’, or even ‘it’ because they didn’t believe you were actually a girl-” “DETENTION, for BOTH of you.” Umbridge screamed, glaring daggers at both of them.

“I’d take detention over hearing another second of the erasure, you’ve hurt my cousin enough, I’ll gladly take the blow for her. I thought Snape would’ve taught you.” Draco muttered, staring at her, “Both of you, leave. Now.” She said with a huff, Draco grabbed his things, but stopped Y/N when they tried to collect theirs, getting it for them, “Come on.” He said softly, leaving the classroom with the student.

He handed their things to them gently, “I.. Noticed you got really upset..” He said softly, “More like panicked..” They said softly, “It’s easier said than done, but try not to let her get to you. Some people just choose to stay stupid. Sometimes even I hurt from some of the shit she says. Damn the amount of biphobia I have heard from her is ungodly.” He sighed, “You’re bi?” They asked curiously, “Yeah, I thought it was obvious by now. I kinda stopped caring at like.. 2nd year, hell I made out with.. A lot of guys in 2nd and 3rd year, mostly to piss my father off because he’s also LGBTphobic, but also just because it’s fun, and guys are cute.” He said with a small grin, they laughed. “Fair enough, do what you can to piss the oppressors off” They joked, drying their eyes. He turned to head to the Slytherin Common Room, when their voice ringed out again.

“They/Them..” Y/N said, he turned around and tilted his head, “You asked what my pronouns are.. I use they/them. I’m nonbinary” They said softly, and Draco smiled with a nod. “Is there a different name you want to be called?” But they shook their head, “The name I introduced myself as is the name I want to use.” Y/N said, “Alright, come on. Lets go to the common room” Draco said, “I can probably try and get Jamie in there too..” He hummed softly.

Later that day, it was after dinner, and all the Slytherins were in the common room. Aside from Draco and Y/N, “Do you want to tell them? Most of them are accepting, aside from a few exceptions, Pansy surprisingly is accepting.” He said quietly, and thought for a moment.. “Blaise told me a few of the kids got told off because they agreed with us.” He added, “I think.. I was always scared to say anything because I didn’t wanna be made fun of.. I didn’t know there was someone who was trans like me til you talked about what happened with Jamie..” They said, “Well, you’re safe here. Hell, I’m more than 110% sure that our headmaster is gay, so.. Do with what you will on that information” He said with a small lighthearted laugh, Draco kissed their cheek with a small hum “It’ll be okay.”

They’d chosen to tell them, they didn’t want to feel misgendered any longer, Umbridge aside. “Oi, everyone shut your trap for a second, I have something to say- THEO… Thank you” He said, after staring down Theodore for a moment. “Let us reintroduce someone, but properly this time. This is Y/N, they’re nonbinary, use they/them pronouns and the moment I hear any of you say something against that, I will personally come for you, with Jamie in tow.” Draco said, Y/N smiling a little with a small wave. “Could’ve told us sooner, but glad you did, especially after Professor Umbridge, good job” Blaise said.

Even Pansy was accepting, they were all proud that you had the courage to say come out, and also that you said something to Umbridge.

This was fine, everything is fine. Umbridge wasn’t fine, but.. This was nice, being accepted as who you are, by people who you’d think would be the last people to ever accept you. The person you thought would be the last person to accept you ended up being the most accepting, which is ironic when you consider his dad.

This was bad 😭

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #nonbinary reader #TW// transphobia #TW// misgendering #hella OOC because of my own headcanons-#harry potter universe

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dastardlydandelion · 3 years

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I wish you would write a fic where Susan got to keep her baby for once.

well. hm. what would this look like in my hands. okay, okay, so in this particular scenario, i actually imagine neil was putting 2 + 2 together and finding out susan's preggo right after the move. like, even before susan does. and she's all kinds of alarmed but neil is?? oddly excited?

he's all like, "isn't this great? we get to have a new baby in this new town. what a perfect way to cement our brand new life, huh?"

and susan doesn't want to be hopeful but with neil's positive reaction, she tentatively feels hope anyway. maybe things rly will be different, right?

continues under the cut bc this got fucking long.

yeah, well, neil's good mood lasts until it's actually born and responsibilities ensue. he never had to deal with billy as a baby rly, bc billy's mom took care of that part and also, like. in this 'verse at least, billy was a low-maintenance baby. didn't cry much. maybe he did at first but like, after being dropped on the head a couple times, he just went quiet and didn't rly bother anybody after that. wouldn't get loud again until elementary age. and max didn't come into neil's life until she was even elementary age, so defo past all the baby stuff.

the new infant tho screams like a mofo. everybody in the house is on edge. sleep is hard to come by for the whole household. the care and keeping responsibilities mostly fall on susan but neil holds it against her every. single. time. he has to change a diaper or hold a bottle, as if it's some major failing on susan's part that he should ever have to do anything like this at all.

max tries to help but she can't even hold the baby tbh. it makes her v uncomfortable, she never gets it right and doesn't know what to do when it squirms!! what if she drops it!? plus she thinks baby smells weird even when it's got a clean diaper, an unappealing mashed food and powder combo with a lingering whiff of wet rubber. and billy. is billy. he has to watch it sometimes, naturally. if it's just him and baby at home, he'll blast his stereo to cover up the crying, as long as he knows its other needs have been tended to. like, yk, the "it'll cry itself to sleep eventually," approach. which works actually. metallica becomes the go-to baby lullaby.

but lo and behold, when it's like, let's say 6 months or smth, baby gets an ear infection. like babies do. won't stop wailing. just. will NOT stop. v much in pain and has no other means of communication. neil and max are home. billy is on a date. susan's stuck in a long line at the grocery store. neil had a shitty day at work and he's already aggravated. pacifier isn't working, lil thing just keeps hollering, so. in a burst of frustration, he starts throttling baby. max is in her own room but hears it the second the noises change and hurries to help, blood ice cold.

she stops neil from killing baby sibling but gets a black eye and a bloody nose for her troubles. this is what susan comes home to. i've written a lot of susan kills neil scenarios but i think this is the first one that comes to mind where in this round, it really is out of anger and not fear. both are present, ofc. but the actual act on her part is one of anger. bc she feels stupid that he ever had her the slightest bit convinced a new baby would make anything better. that neil ever made her feel like he'd be better and instead, he chose to be even worse. susan ties him to the bedposts under the guise of a sex thing, convincing neil she wants to treat him to smth special bc he's been oh so stressed out lately. bashes his brains in with a hammer at least 20 times, a la sally challen style.

alas, reality commences and susan goes to prison. ig a long time ago there was this made for tv movie abt this lady killing her abusive husband by setting the bed aflame that gave the public the misconception that women who kill their abusers are typically acquitted, but uh, that's not true. yeah, it was true for the lady whom the movie was based off of, but usually they're convicted and serve unduly harsh sentences for their "crimes." but if i get on that soap box, we gonna be here the whole fucking day, so, moving on now. susan's off to the big house. albeit both baby and max's injuries are documented and considered mitigating circumstances so her charges are reduced from first degree murder to voluntary manslaughter with the potential for early release.

billy's close to 19 so he's an adult, if only technically speaking. has custody of baby and max. i've decided baby in this 'verse is amab but will eventually come out as trans when she's abt ten yrs old. billy tries his best. max tries her best too. baby's nickname is ducky bc the rubber duck?? by far the favorite toy!! baby p much lives in the bathtub, playing with the rubber duck. billy, who would move them back to cali in a heartbeat if it wasn't so far from susan's prison, defo relates. he's also aquatic by nature.

okay, so the move back to cali does happen. over the months of her kids coming to visit her in prison susan can see how exhausted the teenagers are and she's p much just like, 'u guys gotta go. get outta this rural heckhole u hate, stop bringing urselves n my bby to this dismal place.' and they don't think she's serious but the next time they come to visit, she doesn't meet them, so. yup. serious it is. billy, max, n baby take neil's life insurance money and head off to cali.

this is a modern au, okay, inmates sneaking smartphones into the prison n all that. so susan makes deals and friends and does favors, and gets some help from the ones who are good at bitcoin and scams and counterfeiting and what have you. this enables her to do discreet online "shopping." so she gets ducky all kinds of rubber ducks, at least a handful of times a year. the ducks get more unique and less childish as ducky grows. susan apologizes almost every time she talks to the older kids on the phone for like, five yrs. max isn't rly angry with how things ended with neil tho, more so has that residual anger that susan ever got together with neil in the first place. billy doesn't rly know what to feel tbh, accepts the apologies p numbly bc he's too damn exhausted with being the primary caregiver in over his head to even think abt how he feels at the end of the day.

susan gets released on good behavior around the same time ducky comes out, announcing she's a girl. it's an adjustment for billy and max to get used to bc they never rly suspected, but they're 100% supportive. susan is...oddly excited? not for selfless reasons (tho she is earnestly supportive) but bc it's like. not only does that mean trashing the masculine deadname neil had adamantly declared for ducky, but it means all in all, she got out at the perfect time bc she gets to be introduced to the authentic version of her child along w errbody else. makes her feel less left behind, like she didn't miss out on errything despite being put away for a decade. susan moves in with all of them, obvi, in a small house by the seaside filled to the brim with rubber ducks (billy and max also contributed to ducky's collection on birthdays and holidays, the first duck billy ever got has skulls, and the first max ever got is a frankenstein monster duck). home is cluttered, awkward, and tentative but free of fear and ripe with *genuine* new beginnings.

believe me, anonymoose, i am just as surprised as u are at how fuckin long this got.

#ask box #susan hargrove #max mayfield #billy hargrove #neil hargrove #anonymoose #thanks for playing!#ask meme #ask game #child oc

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kinkymagnus · 4 years

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Hey I've read a lot of your posts, where Magnus is a trans boy and I like that a lot, but I was wondering if you don't like the canon cis male Magnus? I'd ask you non-anonymously too, but I'm honestly scared of some people's hate messages for a question like this... sorry

long answer long answer lmao

hmgmgmnggg ok so i, hm. ok, i don’t think this was meant in a rude way at all, and i promise im in Education(TM) mode not Kill The Malicious Evil Transphobe(TM) mode like im not, accusing you of anything here, at all

but i do have a few Issues with like, the way this was asked i guess

i will answer your question just--give me a sec, im a little uncomfortable here

also like, ok, i get why you’re sending it anonymously, it’s cool--personally i’ve never seen anyone get hate on behalf of trans magnus headcanons (rather than against them) but i mean, hate can come in all shapes and sizes i guess? and anxiety, so. whatever, it’s fine, i get it

but anyway moving on: first, “canon” cis magnus. my dude... my guy... did at any point magnus say I Am Cisgender or pull out his dick.... like... neither trans or cis magnus is really “canon” just as like, you know, izzy isn’t confirmed straight or bi or pan. we know she likes dudes and personally i think the way she looks at clary indicates she sure do like girls, too, but that doesn’t seem to have been intended so it’s debatable, and that’s basically it.

also, in the context of just like... historical shit, realistically magnus isn’t cis. is he trans in the way i write about (like afab, “pre op”)? no, not necessarily in canon (although he isn’t... not that either i guess--we do see his flat chest, no scars, but HYPOTHETICALLY that could be a glamour, or the scars are magically healed. we know he has an adams apple, but there ways to do that without magic, let alone with magic. so like. i’m just saying.)

but like, he wouldn’t be cis how we understand it either by the simple virtue of being much older than the western gender binary as we know it. even if he was born with a penis and all of that and identified as a Man(TM) And Nothing Else that wouldn’t mean his idea of masculinity/manhood would be the same as ours, or that it wouldn’t at least be shaped by very different factors. so like. even if my version of trans magnus isn’t confirmed canon, cis magnus certainly isn’t either i think. that might be slicing hairs or getting finnicky with language, but it’s how i feel about it.

and just assuming that he’s canonically cis rubs me the wrong way, like, characters aren’t cishet by default, you know? obviously the writers probably weren’t intending to make him trans, and cc certainly wasn’t when she stole his character from dark hunters and made it “her own”, or else there’d be a bunch of transphobic tropes in there, but like, you know, death of the authors, we make sense of canon now. intentions arguably don’t matter, we do with the story what we will, especially when working within it.

again i don’t think you were necessarily being like “well magnus is canonically cis so :/” but it rubs me the wrong way and is something i’ve seen before so like, yeah

secondly, “trans boy” magnus versus “cis male” magnus. why boy, anon. why boy

(god why does “why boy” sound like a bizarre t-shirt slogan or a mbmbam segment--NO, BRAIN. WE ARE ON SERIOUS BUSINESS.)

but seriously tho like the sort of infantilization of trans men is really a thing (seeing them as “soft bois” and “uwu cute boys” and feminine/soft/small/delicate) and like, specifically calling magnus a trans boy versus when he’s cis he’s a “male” (which technically can refer to any age but has those like, Connotations) sits wrong with me. like, magnus isn’t a boy, you know? i mean i get making jokes like “aw my boys <3″ or whatever, but with this it’s not that say memey context AND specifically it concerns a trans man (not to mention him being asian) so like, it feels, yikes? like just. he isn’t a “trans boy”

im sorry i realize it seems like im just like harshly picking apart your answer and i really dont mean to sound like a bitch here but like, again. Education(TM) mode not Anon Hate(TM) mode. just for learning, it’s cool, i’m not angry at you, it’s chill.

to answer your question with the yikes language gently nudged to the trash chute: do i dislike cis magnus?

simple answer: yes.

complicated answer: not really. i already stated why i don’t like Cis(TM) magnus as it feels unrealistic and dumb and also he just doesn’t have cis energy lmao, but if you just mean like... well this isn’t really “cis” but kind of what people mean in this context, AMAB magnus (meaning he was “assigned male at birth” aka has a penis and all that) and he’s canonically gnc so like, he’s “cis” even if his understanding of masculinity might be different than ours and obviously we’ve seen him be gnc and all that.... i don’t really hate that, and objectively, i have no issues with it, but personal taste wise, i basically only read/write trans magnus as you see on my blog now. because i’ve kind of absorbed it as “canon” in my head (fanon, i guess, lmao)

plus, just generally trans magnus is really important to me because like, a) he is #goals i too want to be a muscular gnc hottie, b) he’s relatable and i project all my shit onto him lmao, c) it just feels very validating, in a lot of ways--with the sexual preferences i write about, his insecurities, just the way he looks, and him being trans is just kind of reassuring, you know? also d) i honestly think it fits him/his character/his backstory and he just has the vibes u kno

so basically, Cis(TM) magnus? no-go. cis magnus as in AMAB/identifies as a man full stop even if it’s wibbly wobbly compared to current times and lbr no one is going to really explore that much beyond him being outwardly gnc sometimes? fine, whatever. trans afab magnus still being gnc as hell? yessssssss

ldkgjfgh anyway im glad you like my posts!!! and hopefully ive Inducted Another Into The Trans Magnus Cult (thats a joke, but seriously, im just like,,,,,maam do u have time for ur lord and savior trans magnus?? maam blease)

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dkettchen · 5 years

Text

In the wake of Dimension 20 starting its new season, I wanna write a bit about trans/nb representation in media, particularly by comparing that of TAZ (Lup & Hollis) and D20 (Pete).

((hey remember how i said i wasn’t gonna write long-ass essay-type analyses of things anymore? ye so that didn’t work out I guess, here we go again))

I’m gonna leave out TAZ’s Roswell, as they’re a genderless elemental, rather than a gendered hominid that one could compare to real life non-binaries. Genderless fantasy races are actually the reason for some of the first third gender neo-pronouns (particularly Spivak pronouns (e/em/er)) got popularised, long before the term “non-binary” was even a thing, so S/O to genderless fantasy races for being tru genderqueer pioneers lol

Griffin established (out of story) that Lup was amab and had transitionned early in life before the start of the “Stolen Century” arc, only to never mention it again, to the point that I legit forgot half-way through when she and Barry became a thing and my brain was like but what if Lup gets pregnant, what’ll happen to the baby at the end of the cycle? and then I remembered ‘oh yeah, Lup can’t get pregnant’ (unless there’s something we don’t know about fantasy transition, which we very well might, seeing as we didn’t get any details about how it works).

Hollis’ assigned sex and current gendered body-type are never revealed [as of 12Jul19, but I assume it’ll stay that way] which is nice, that way any non-binary can identify with them. BUT there is also a complete and utopian lack of misgendering and wrong pronoun use. Most notably we can see this in Thacker, who was gone for 6 years and knew them since they were a kid. 6 years ago, the word non-binary was barely starting to become popular, they/them pronouns were not in use the way they are today. Even if Hollis had come out and started using they/them before he left, they probably wouldn’t have been accepted or taken seriously at first, and even if so, Thacker would’ve had to remember this relatively new information and pronoun etiquette about a person he wasn’t that close with over 6 years on an alien planet and through his temporary madness, or get used to it to the point of no hesitation or slipping up in using it on this kid he knew way back when and wasn’t really in contact with, due to the tension between his party and the Hornets, within the two months since. Unless Hollis was an intersex theybie who ended up actually being non-binary and they just always went by they/them (which, just statistically, seems unlikely), it seems highly unrealistic that, even if the whole rest of the town got the pronouns down, Thacker would get them right.

Meanwhile in D20, Pete’s introduction literally started in his doctor’s office, talking about specific procedures, like top surgery, and what they entail (“‘shooting’ [his] tits off”, not “leaving [anything] in there”), as well as the fact that there is ongoing treatment (hormones) involved. There was a tense confrontation with (relatively) unaccepting family (who Pete wasn’t around for a similar amount of time as Thacker was gone in TAZ I might add), including using the actual words “trans” and “dead name”, as well as the feelings the use of the latter can invoke. Pete’s representation isn’t about him being trans, but about the things that being trans actually entails.

The difference is in that TAZ is a bunch of (lovely) cis-guys trying their best to provide representation for everybody, which is important too and I appreciate them for it, but in D20 the representation is made by an actual trans person (in collab with their DM), who is going through some of this stuff (top surgery) and has trans friends and their experience to fill in the rest (dead names, hormones, etc).

In order to get proper magical realism, you need not only the magic but also the realism, and with representation, if you are not the thing yourself you will have trouble providing that no matter how hard you try. That is not a reason to stop trying but maybe a reason (for media at large) to put more effort into getting the people who actually know the thing to (at least help) make the thing.

#trans #non-binary #representation #TAZ #dimension 20 #the unsleeping city #long post

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klausplease · 5 years

Text

Shakira and Lip Gloss

Requested By: Anonymous

Prompt: Hey I was wondering if you could write a fic where Klaus’s or Diego's s/o comes out as genderfluid and they’re really scared and nervous because their family isn’t very accepting and it’s kind of been put into their head that it’s wrong not to be their birth gender but Klaus or Diego tells them its ok and they're not doing anything wrong by being who they are and its just really angsty and fluffy?

Post Info: Genderfluid reader, AMAB. Mentions of transphobia. Light angst.

A/N: I’m... not sure this is what you wanted. But I tried.

Diego was concerned about (y/n). He hadn’t seen him all day, even though Saturdays were usually when he came over to the Hargreeves household. He wasn’t jealous about the fact that Klaus and his boyfriend had a standing date, when he still had to schedule time with him. He wasn’t. He was just a little miffed that the two spent so much time together. Without him. Doing ‘secret things’, as Klaus had told him when he asked.

But (y/n) wasn’t at the mansion today, as evidenced by the fact that he was practically being attacked by a very angry Klaus.

“What did you do, you moron?” Klaus asked, apropos of nothing.

Diego shot Klaus a look. “I do a lot of things Klaus, several of which you seem to find moronic. You’ll have to be more specific.”

“(Y/n) hasn’t come for our weekly cult meeting and I am laying full responsibility for that fact on you. So, what have you done?”

“I didn’t do anything Klaus. Maybe he’s sick,” he attempted to sound nonchalant, despite the fact that he was quite worried about the status of his boyfriend.

Klaus rolled his eyes. “They would have told me.”

Wondering at Klaus’ use of the singular they, Diego was about to ask Klaus what he meant by that when (y/n) entered the room.

“Hey babe,” Diego said instead, moving across the room to hug his boyfriend.

“Hi,” they muttered into his shoulder, seeming to curl in on themselves a bit.

Holding (y/n) out at arm’s length, he frowned and looked them over. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine cariño. Just a bad brain day.”

The taller man nodded understandingly. He was quite familiar with his boyfriend’s depression and how it could affect him unexpectedly and at any given time. He leaned in for a slightly longer hug and gave him a kiss to the forehead.

(Y/n) smiled tiredly up at Diego and squeezed his hand before slipping away to greet Klaus.

“Hey ghost boy,” they teased gently.

“Hola, mi corazón,” Klaus hugged them and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of their head. “¿Cómo estás?”

Resting their head against Klaus’ chest, (y/n) mumbled “más o menos”.

“¿por qué más o menos?”

They looked meaningfully up at the stairs, signalling to Klaus that they didn’t want to discuss it here. Since Diego was the only one in the room, he was confused and vaguely upset that (y/n) didn’t want him to know what was bothering them.

Klaus, either oblivious to his brother’s inner turmoil or ignoring it, whisked (y/n) away to his upstairs bedroom.

As soon as the door was closed, Klaus rounded on them, crossing his arms. “You have to tell him.”

(Y/n) threw themself face first onto Klaus’ bed. “I know.”

Massaging their calf, Klaus let out a heavy breath. “We’ve talked about this. He won’t care. He loves you mi cielito.”

“You don’t know that Klaus.” And now they were crying. Big fat, heartbroken tears.

Since about four months ago, every Saturday they came to the Hargreeves household. Together with Klaus, they would research, shop, and modify. Makeup was practiced, and outfits were cultivated.

This is because four months ago, Klaus had found them at a bus stop crying. It was a common hang out for junkies and homeless people, and even though Klaus was doing the sober thing, he liked to hit up those spots in case he could help the younger kids who weren’t too deep into it yet.

He found (y/n) there, crying and being approached by several of the seedier dealers. He had bundled the shivering, nearly passed out, significant other of his brother and taken them home. There (y/n) had explained to Klaus how they ended up there. They had been caught in a skirt by their older brother, who they were currently crashing with, and given a thorough dressing down. Childhood indoctrination of transphobia falling out of his mouth and slowly tearing down (y/n)’s hard won self confidence.

After that, Klaus assisted them in finding a new roommate, a good place to stay. The days spent together doing that, turned into a standing date where Klaus helped (y/n) explore their newly expressed gender identity.

“How about this. We both get dressed up, then we go downstairs and tell my dumb brother. Tell him “take it or leave it”. And if I am drastically wrong, we will buy so much Ben and Jerry’s you’ll get sick. And we’ll steal his repurposed sex harness. Hide it in Luther’s room.”

Sniffling, (y/n) smiled tentatively at Klaus and nodded. “Yeah. Okay. That sounds good. I’m down for that.”

Klaus was off the bed immediately, making a beeline for his closet where their things were stored.

He pulled out a soft, knit cropped sweater along with a pair of loose black joggers. The sweater looked like it was straight from the 80’s with four thick stripes of red, green, purple, and white. It was an outfit (y/n) wore often, when it was just them and Klaus. It was comfortable, while still making them feel cute.

“Here. He likes soft things.”

(Y/n) smiled softly at Klaus and took the clothes, stripping down in front of Klaus with no shame. Klaus discarded his clothes as well, changing into a black Ramones crop top and fleece Star Wars sleep pants.

They grinned at each other, smoothing palms over their soft clothing. “We look great,” Klaus said matter of factly.

(Y/n) just gave a soft snort of laughter and began pulling makeup items out of Klaus’ bureau.

The clairvoyant man went to turn on some music, letting (y/n) take a moment and decide what they wanted to do.

Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira begin playing over the speaker, from Klaus’ small purple ipod. Both of which (y/n) got for him.

Klaus made his way over, body undulating to the beat, hands drifting in front of his body at intervals. In response, to the music and to Klaus’ comfortability in his own body, (y/n) began swaying their hips to the music. Soon enough they were holding hands, stepping in and out, closer and then away, hips moving in concentric circles. They danced through the song, and by the end, (y/n) was loose limbed and more settled in their skin.

One of Klaus’ world altering smiles was shot their way, and then he was picking through their combined, assorted makeup.

“I was thinking a more natural look? Some eyeshadow, light foundation, lip gloss?” He spoke absently, looking for whatever would aid him in creating the look he had in mind.

“Sounds good. I don’t think I’m up for anything too complicated.”

Klaus hummed in acknowledgement and handed (y/n) the supplies he had gathered. “I think these colors will be good.” And then he was digging around again, looking for something for himself to wear.

He popped up, reminiscent of a meerkat, and asked “You do mine, I’ll do yours?”

In response, (y/n) simply nodded and set their chosen palettes down on the bed, before settling themself on it as well. They patted the spot in front of them, and Klaus was soon occupying it.

Klaus’ makeup was easy, some simple pale purple eyeshadow and a quick cat eye. Blush and highlighter on the tip of his european nose. Pale pink tinted lip gloss to top the look off. His hair was naturally curly, and quite voluminous, so nothing had to be done to it.

“Done.”

Klaus got up to look at himself and hummed in satisfaction. “You get better every time we do this.”

Flushing, (y/n) situated themself to allow Klaus access to their face. The process was much the same as for Klaus, save for the addition of some powder foundation. Where Klaus’ eyeshadow was purple, theirs was a rich red-brown. Where Klaus’ gloss was pale pink, theirs was a deep red. Their hair was longer than Klaus’, and a different kind of curly though it was just as thick, if not thicker. Klaus decided to put it up, gathering the unruly curls into a messy bun on the top of their head. He pulled some small pieces down to frame their face, and rest over their shoulders.

When he was done, he pressed a kiss to the top of (y/n)’s head, humming along to The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani.

“We’re done. You ready to go see Diego?”

Stalling for time, (y/n) jumped up and began rummaging in one of Klaus’ drawers. “We almost forgot our fuzzy socks!”

Smiling indulgently, Klaus took the pink pair and slipped them on. He waited for (y/n) to slip on the black and white striped ones before speaking again. “You can’t avoid him forever, mi cielito.”

A gusty sigh. “I know. I’m just… scared.”

Klaus wrapped them in a tight hug, giving them an extra squeeze before letting go. “I know. But whatever happens, I’m here for you.”

Grabbing Klaus’ hand, (y/n) dragged him down the stairs and into the training room, where Diego was bound to be brooding.

They caught him on his way out to patrol, he was already strapped up and putting his knives into their holster.

(Y/n) had to stifle a hysterical giggle at the memory of Klaus calling it a repurposed sex harness.

“Diego?” They asked tentatively, catching his attention.

He looked up with an irate expression that immediately dropped when he say (y/n), making way for one of awe and confusion.

“Yes?” he responded, just as hesitant and much more confused.

“So, uhm. Klaus. I’ve been spending time with Klaus because…” They trailed off, the words forming strange and incorrect in their mouth.

Klaus gave them a reassuring pat and Diego drew nearer, to be just that little bit closer.

A deep breath in, measured breath out. “ Klaus has been helping me. I’m genderfluid. Which means-”

“I know what it means,” Diego cut them off. “I… yeah, I know what it means.” Diego cocked his head and asked, “Pronouns?”

And that, the easy acceptance, is what caused (y/n) to really let loose on the waterworks. It was lucky that Klaus had thought to use waterproof makeup.

“They- they and them,” (y/n) stuttered out, falling into Diego’s arms. “Mostly,” they added, face buried in Diego’s shoulder.

“I can do that. Just have to keep me updated.”

Diego held them out at arm’s length. “I love. No matter what. A little thing like gender isn’t going to keep me away from such a great person. You’re gorgeous.” He kissed their forehead. “Truly stunning.” Their cheek. “I’m in awe of you.” Their other cheek. “And you.” Their nose. “My love.” Their eyelid. “Are a giant fuckin’ nerd.” Their other eyelid.

That last remark got Diego a smack to the back of his head, but it was worth it to see (y/n) smile.

“I have the best datemate ever,” he declared before kissing them soundly on the mouth.

They were so caught up in eachother, that neither noticed Klaus slipping out of the room.

#ad ross #writings of the damned #requested imagine #tua #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x genderfluid reader #genderfluid reader #x genderfluid reader #tua imagines #diego tua #the umbrella academy imagine #umbrella academy diego #umbrella academy imagine

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doctorwhos · 5 years

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i can't believe i have to fucking school you on this (and don't tone police me) but trans lesbian is used by trans feminine folk (usually amab or camab) who are solely attracted to women. we are a specific minority, and the one most under attack by terfs and their rhetoric, of which cis/afab/nb lesbians make a huge part. non-binary or nb lesbian is fine for your friend to use. i don't think you understand the fucking difference

anon as you can see from my past few asks, ive apologized for my misuse in terminology already. i understand the difference, and i would never to claim i experience transmisogyny in any capacity. a lot of lesbains are terfs, yeah, but not ever lesbian is a terf. lev isn’t a terf, nor am i, and nor is ling, who ive seen also get asks about this the past little while. were all nb lesbians, and have all been vocal against terfs in the lesbian community, and have fought against transmisogynistic statements to the best of our abilities without speaking over trans lesbians.

im going to try to ‘tone police’ you, nor am i going to tell you to calm down, becuase youre understandably upset. but i just want you to understand that im not fighting against you on this, im agreeing with everything youre saying, and im apologizing. i dont know what else you want me to do in this situation, other than educate myself more on this topic, which i am planning on doing, but i cant just, immediately osmosis all of that information into my brain

#peter talks

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biosex-bisexuality-blog · 7 years

Text

@azzythedreemurr this post ended up super fucking long. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and your post inspired me to actually write it all out, since I get the feeling that you might actually listen.

I wanted it to be its own post so it’ll show up in tags and whatnot, and I’m going to put a 'keep reading’ here so that people can skip it faster, if they want.

I implore you {and anyone else reading} to read everything I have to say and really give it thought before responding. Some of it will likely trigger a negative response, I know because I’ve been in your position before and I would immediately dismiss anything that went against what I believed. Please read this with an open mind. As I say at the end of this, I’m seriously trying to present a compromise and a way to move forward so that both sides get what they want and can move on from this nonsense.

{This is the post I’m responding to, for anyone who wants to read from the source. I’ve copied most of it here but for transparency's sake I’ll link to it.}

Realizing that theres a clear line between Gender and Sex is super important, and i plead that you re-educate yourself on this matter.

If you're not one of the ones denying biology, you aren’t the problem. I don't give a fuck about people identifying as whatever gender they want. I think it's stupid, since gender isn't real, but as long as you're not coming at me and telling me I should identify with a gender (like telling me I should call myself cis instead of just woman. I don't identify as a woman, I just am one by nature.) we don’t have an issue.

There are, however, people hell bent on removing all distinctions between sex and gender. That is what I was referring to.

IDK what exactly you want me to ‘re-educate’ myself on, since it seems we’re in agreement.

What Im saying, is that people who transition from amab to female [...]

You can't transition from male to female. You can't change your biology. You can alter the appearance of your biology through hormones and surgery, but trans males will always be male.

Gender, as we’ve established, is separate from sex. They can call themselves trans women, I don't care. But they'll always be trans women, not women. Words mean something. And the word woman is already defined as adult human female. We need to keep language like that intact, otherwise women don’t have a unifying word to talk about our specifically FEMALE issues.

IDK if you’ve noticed but, radical feminists in general use ‘female’ now to talk about female specific issues, out of respect for the people who identify as some other gender and view ‘woman’ as something gendered. We’re working for liberation of ALL females, even those we don’t necessarily agree with. Expecting us to also give up ‘female’ as a way to refer to our biology is way out of line. It’s effectively silencing us about the collective experience of being female. And no, ‘uterus bearer’ or ‘menstruator’ or any other words that have been thought up to replace it don’t work. None of those words takes into account the collective experience of having a female body.

Female is a holistic term, and that is important to keep intact for us.

that date women are equal to women who date women. [...]

They are equal, obviously, as humans we should respect each other and treat each other as equals.

Because they’re both women who date women.

They’re not both women who date women, though. Trans women who date women are trans women who date women.

Trans woman is defined as someone male who identifies as the gender identity referred to as “woman.”

Women are adult human females.

Neither of these definitions require anyone to agree on what ‘feeling like a woman’ means.

The trans woman gets to say she’s a trans woman, and women get to keep the word that refers to their biology. Win win, in my book.

I’m of the opinion that differences should be celebrated, not suppressed. Differences between trans women and women need to be talked about, and not denied. Biological differences are important. As has been established, we agree on that.

An example of what happens when we don’t talk about differences in biology is this new trend of trans women claiming they have periods. If they are having intense stomach pains, they need to see a doctor. That is not a period, because they don’t have the biology required to have a period, but it could very well be an indication of something seriously wrong. Or it could be gas lol.

And there’s also trans women saying that peeing blood is the same as a period, but peeing blood is NOT normal, and it is certainly NOT the same as when women bleed. I thought we had gotten past males thinking that women bleed from the same place they pee out of, but I guess not! ;)

Second of all, No shit gender is a social construct. Gender is more fake than a terf saying “I support trans people”. I identify as agender myself, so we should both know how fucking stupid gender is as a concept in whole.

Good, we’re still on the same page about gender being objectively fake. The difference is that your side is expecting me to treat it as something real. You’re not doing that, that’s great, but you need to understand that trans activism has become obsessed with forcing everyone to center themselves around ‘gender.’ If you’re serious about not seeing gender as a real thing, and in fact seeing it as stupid, you should be using your time to talk to the trans activists who basically worship gender. Not arguing with the people who agree with you more than you think.

I advise you stop using "terf." It's become nothing more than a silencing tactic because, in my experience, everyone who uses it has a different reason behind it. It doesn't tell me anything as you what you think I'm saying or believe.

Also? You saying that gender and sex are different would get you called a terf by some trans activists. Just a heads up.

Could you elaborate on what you mean when you call me a terf? I genuinely want to know, because if you’re assuming something incorrect about me I’d like the chance to correct it.

Finally: “we realized that none of this trans bullshit actually holds up against critical examination.” Define “None of this trans bullshit” [...]

What I mean by trans bullshit is:

The denial of biological sex. You’ve said you recognize a difference between gender and sex, and you find that distinction important, but your buddies don't anymore. That's a problem.

Insistence on ‘brain sex’ despite all the evidence against it.

Forced assignment of non trans people with the word ‘cis.’ I don’t identify as a gender, I am a woman because I’m an adult human female. I don’t need a word forced on me that means ‘not trans’ or ‘not nonbinary.’

The concept of ‘cis privilege.’ I’ve read through those lists, and as someone who doesn’t conform to the expectations of my sex I don’t actually have most of them. And, most of the ones I’ve seen aren’t actually privileges for women. Being seen as a woman? How is that a privilege?

Forcing everyone to define their sexuality to be based on gender instead of sex.

Bullying lesbians, and bi women who don’t want to date males, into including trans women in their dating pool.

Bullying gay men, and bi men who don’t want to date females, into including trans men in their dating pool. This happens far less, but it’s important to mention.

Bullying straight people, and bi people who only want to date the opposite sex, into dating people of the same sex just because they identify as the gender associated with the opposite sex. Again, happens far less but important to mention here.

Colonizing lesbianism and allowing males to call themselves lesbian, even though a lesbian is a female homosexual.

Changing the definitions of words that we need to remain the same so we can talk about issues and oppression effectively. Words that indicate biological sex, words to talk about sexuality based on biological sex, even the words referring to female biology are being altered (front hole?? Really??)

Lobbying for laws that change protections based on sex into protections based on gender. I don’t mind laws that protect gender identity, I think there should be legal recourse for someone who has been treated unfairly by the government due to their gender identity. Just like I believe in having people protected from being treated unfairly for their religious beliefs. Those laws would also protect people who don’t conform to the expectations of their sex. It’s beneficial to everyone. The issue is that, so far, trans activists haven’t been trying to get new laws created, they’ve been trying to get current laws protecting women changed.

Denial of wrongdoing by trans women. I get that trans activists want to protect trans women, but it’s gone way too far. They’re now defending and denying trans women raping females, and are guilting people out of talking about abuse they’ve experienced at the hands of trans women. It’s alarming how many stories there are about trans women behaving in a very much male way and their victims being silenced and convinced they need to not talk about it in order to protect the trans community.

Denial of the proven fact that trans women commit violence at a similar rate to males as a whole.

The insistence on using ‘correct’ pronouns for abusers and rapists. A person using ‘he’ to describe their trans woman abuser should not be punished or ‘called out.’ Victims have the right to talk about their abuser however they damn well please. This is sometimes excused because it ‘hurts trans women and tells them that we will only respect their gender identity under certain circumstance.’ Yeah, the circumstances of not being a fucking rapist or abuser???

The expectation by trans women of being included in every female space. Females need space away from males. Trans women can, and do, make their own spaces for their own needs. Women should get the same respect. Why is it that trans people get space away from ‘cis’ people, but females don’t get space away from males?

The lgbT community centering everything they do around gender. I dunno about you and your local pride center, but mine has 4 different programs exclusively centered around trans and nonbinary people. Two for youth and two for adults. They have one for adult women, and that program is open to anyone who identifies as a woman. There’s one for adult men, and again it’s for anyone identifying as a man. There are none for girls or boys. And then there are a few that are for the whole community. If we tried to organize something for ‘females’ and one for ‘males’ the backlash would be intense, and it would likely be shut down before it even began. Even if we made it clear that ALL females, regardless of gender identity, and ALL males, regardless of gender identity, were welcome to their respective programs.

I can provide sources for these if you want, but I didn’t want to make this post longer than it is. I have posts that detail these saved elsewhere, so I can get them for you.

Again, if you personally are not doing these things that’s great. However, the other people who use ‘terf’ and attack radical feminists are doing them. Ignoring that doesn’t help anyone.

because the way you said that, gives me a feeling that you mean “Trans woman dating woman is hurting lesbians uwuwuwu”

I don’t think trans women dating women is hurting lesbians. I think trans women calling themselves lesbians is hurting lesbians.

Lesbian means, as I said earlier, female homosexual. This is an important word to keep so that we can talk about how they are oppressed specifically because they experience the intersection of:

misogyny (which is defined as prejudice against females, NOT anyone who “identifies as woman” because ‘gyn’ refers to female biology) and

homophobia (which is prejudice against same sex attracted people).

Trans women who are exclusively attracted to females are heterosexual. To be clear, I don’t expect them to call themselves straight, especially if they’re stealth. But they need to come up with a different word to use to mean ‘trans woman attracted to females’, because lesbian is taken. It is appropriation for them to use the word lesbian when they don’t fit the definition of it. Lesbian means female homosexual, and since a trans woman’s sex is male she can’t be a female homosexual. Pretty simple, I think.

And, if they’re open to people of both sexes, they should be calling themselves bisexual. If they only want to date woman identified people, that’s cool. But they’re still bisexual because bisexual means being attracted to both males and females.

There are trans people who are exclusively attracted to one sex. They are also being hurt in this campaign to get sexuality to refer to gender. They deserve to be respected in their sexuality, and currently they are not. They are being silenced right alongside non trans homosexuals.

Respecting differences of opinion and belief:

As long as we’re on the same page about gender and sex being different, I don’t think there should be any issue. Me not believing in gender doesn’t mean that I can’t respect someone’s beliefs about gender. I don’t believe in Christianity, or any religion, and I don’t go around harassing Christians, or other religious people. As long as they just live their lives and leave me out of it, we don’t have an issue. The only time I have a problem with them is when they try to change laws that affect me or come at me and try to convert me to their beliefs. Or if they insist on me referring to myself with some word that specifically means I’m not of their faith. I’m an atheist, that indicates a disbelief in any religion. I don’t need to be assigned a word that means ‘not Christian’ or ‘not Jewish’ or ‘not Muslim.’

It’s the same for trans activists. I don’t misgender anyone, I don’t go out of my way to trigger actual disphoria or even social disphoria. I’ll use the names they choose, I won’t ask what their ‘real name’ is because I find that insulting to them and just plain unnecessary. I’ll use their pronouns, assuming I understand HOW to use them since some of them use odd sets. And if I don’t know how to use them, I’ll just use their name (or ‘they’) the whole time I speak about them.

Tbh, I respect trans people in general more than I respect Christians in general. I know you might not believe that, but it’s the truth.

The issues arise when they do the things I listed in the trans bullshit part of this post. If they didn’t do that shit, I would be perfectly content with a live and let live attitude towards them.

Moving forward:

There is a lot of work to be done to erase the damage that’s been caused by trans activists insisting that biological sex isn’t real. I think that trans activists who, like yourself, recognize the important distinction between gender and sex can work with the radical feminists who, like myself, respect gender identity. We could potentially come up with a solution that works for both sides. The LGBT communities in other parts of the world don’t have these kinds of conflicts, and I would like to follow their lead and end this insane war. But that’s only going to happen if we start working together.

Especially those of us who are visibly sex stereotype non conforming. We have a lot of the same experiences, and we should be working together and talking about them together instead of dividing ourselves based on what ‘gender’ we do or don’t identify with. Trans women should be working with other males who don’t conform to sex stereotypes, regardless of if they identify as trans or nonbinary. Trans men should be working with other females who don’t conform, too.

Find the commonalities, and celebrate and respect the differences. It’s a simple thing that has been warped by this shit.

I’ve posted a lot of angry things to this blog, but I genuinely don’t want to be angry about this anymore. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want this hatred, I don’t want this community to be eating each other alive because I think it only benefits conservatives and bigots. We’re giving all our attention to this bullshit when we could be working for the protection and happiness of all of us.

I’m tired. I want to work with people who are just as tired to end this.

This is an olive branch. Take it or leave it.

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lesbian-ed-discourse · 7 years

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this just in: biological sex is not the only aspect of gender, oh my gosh how surprising. y'all act like what someone has in their pants automatically indicates exactly how they'll act and think, which is not feminist at all. y'all literally said you dont think transmen/women aren't actually men/women. good job on being "welcoming" and "positive" - while simultaneously treating trans ppl like shit. so yeah, thanks for that. (pt. 1)

And secondly, denying biological sex doesn’t deny someone’s gender. Insisting that they must actually be men/women depending on their sex does - which is what y’all are doing. Trans ppl may have some particular type of junk in their pants, may have been raised a certain way but that doesn’t make them men/women - it makes them fucking trans. (pt. 2)

Trans people experience the world much differently than cis ppl do, and our brains function and are chemically different to someone who’s fine with their assigned gender. The science behind this is there, and there are several studies which suggest that the brain structure of trans ppl is entirely unique to them, just like it is for men and women. (pt. 3)

Actively denying trans ppl’s gender - by saying stuff like, “well, they’re actually just a man/woman” does actually hurt them. It does actually get us killed. Bc you know who else says that? The guy that murdered a trans woman who fucked him and now thinks he’s gay. The parents of trans teens who deny their child’s gender, resulting in depression and oftentimes suicide. (pt. 4)

I’m not saying you shouldn’t talk about biological sex - of course that is important. I’m just saying there are ways to do that without calling transmen “females”, and transwomen “males”. Surprise surprise you can talk about biological sex and how it affects people without automatically assuming that everyone with that junk is a woman/man - and triggering dysphoria and possibly trauma. (pt. 5

Examples of treating people like more than just their junk include - talking about specific body parts without calling their owners any pronouns, ex. “People with vulvas” “people with prostates” etc. actually talking to trans women, and men to see how they feel about this. As a trans person, it makes me feel like shit to hear you say I’m not a man - but it’s not surprising either. (pt. 6)

A majority of the population thinks I’m not actually a man, so you’re not particularly special. Most people don’t give 2 shits about people like me, or they just dislike us/want us killed and gone. You know how many times I’ve been called a “fucking tranny”, and a dyke? The answer is a hell of a lot. And you don’t get to just come in here and tell me that that’s ok because I’m actually just a woman. (pt. 7)

Reducing people to their biological sex is transphobic. You can acknowledge that someone has certain bits, but you don’t know how trans people think or feel or how being seen as just a dick/vulva feels. We aren’t just sex, we’re actual people with feelings - who wanted to be treated like actual people. (pt. 8)

I just want to say that if you being gender critical plays into a societal norm of treating trans people like they don’t exist, what makes you any different than the homophobic and misogynist politicians who want to see us dead? Maybe if being gender critical makes people lapse into depression and dysphoria, you should think about why you think it’s a good idea. (pt. 9)

Because the fact of the matter is is that this kills people. It kills young people, maybe not actively, but it still kills people. Trans teens have such a high rate of suicide because of people like you who think it doesn’t hurt to be reduced to your sex, who think it’s ok to not listen to trans people and treat them in ways that hurt - even when they've told you very specifically what is transphobic. You don't get to decide what is and isn't transphobia. (pt. 10)

So, first off: we’re using totally different definitions of the terms “male/female” the way we use it, doesn’t mean “man/woman” (as in the gender and gender roles assigned to someone) but refer to a biological reality, what sex someone is, and what sexual characteristics they have. To us, using “female” is the same as you using “afab” or “people with vaginas” It’s merely a biological descriptor, it doesn’t come with any “you should be like Y, and act like Y, and follow these gender roles” It’s just stating what “junk” (and reproductive system and secondary sexual characteristics) someone has. No more, no less.

I’m sorry that this causes trans people dysphoria and distress, I get why being reminded of their bodies, and their “supossed role in society as a man/woman” like that would (but I don’t see why “people with vaginas” is considered more acceptable? Since it also reminds you of your anatomy?) And I would recommend that if any discourse that uses these words is too triggering for you, that you disengage from it for your own well-being.

Now, cis women also suffer from not aligning with what their supposed role in society is. That’s what gender roles are, and they’re a tool of women’s oppression, which we as feminists want to combat. To be able to do that, we need to look at the roots of it, why is patriarchy the way it is? And the answer, harsh as it may be, is that it’s related to bodies and the sex of them.

Being born a certain sex means you’re treated a certain way from birth. Little girls are raised to play with dolls (to learn to be “motherly”) and wear dresses, told that they’re less intelligent and inferior to boys, and that their only worth is how attractive they’re to men. Little boys are taught to be assertive, to be strong and to be leaders. This creates a divide, a hierarchy, and what each person is taught is completely dependant on the sex of their body.

This carries on to adulthood too, and yeah, there may be nuances, a non-passing trans man will be a lot more catcalled on the street than a trans man who passes as male. The same way, a non-passing or closeted trans woman (that’d be read as a cis man) may not experience misogyny BUT a passing trans woman will. And this is all because of the way misogynistic men assume what sex you are based on how you look. This is all because they see you as “female/afab” and that makes you a target for misogyny.

Now, I’m not gonna say that if the hypothetical passing trans woman I talked about revealed she was trans (so of the “male/amab/people with penises” sex) that was going to make people treat her like a man. Because society is transphobic and misogynistic and they’d see her as a “man deviating from their assigned gender role” which they hate.

And it’s this, this misogyny tied to what gender roles you’re supposed to follow because of your body, what causes violence against trans people, violence that is very often dished out by cis men. Cis men who in no way listen to anything radical feminists have to say because if they did, they’d be against gender roles.

Now yes, this also leads to trans women internalizing some “men” behaviours, because of being socialized as boys, including sexual entitlement (as we’ve seen with the cotton ceiling discourse, that lesbians are evil if they don’t open their legs for any trans woman) and we have to analyze that, but this doesn’t diminish the violence trans people face at all, and I want to reiterate that we don’t support that.

I’m sorry that this makes young trans kid want to kill themselves, but people shouldn’t stop speaking about important things just because it hurts you (and I’m saying this as someone who has struggled with depression and with wanting to commit suicide). We don’t want any trans kids to feel suicidal at all, but we can’t just not speak about sex when it’s relevant to us and our experiences, so again, I say that if this hurts someone that much, it’s better that they disengage from the conversation.

I support trans & dysphoric people treating their dysphoria however they see fit, I support them having legal protections and rights so that they don’t get discriminated against in any aspect of life, I support them in living free from male violence, and that they enjoy the same freedoms and obligations everyone else should. Calling them “male” or “female” when talking about feminist discourse (or about sexual orientation) where someone’s birth sex and the sex they’re read as is relevant to the conversation, doesn’t suddenly contradict the above.

We merely said we’d welcome any trans men that feel they could relate to our experiences in our positivity blog, because there is and has been historically a lot of overlap between the trans men and lesbian community (many trans men used to identify as lesbians and viceversa, many lesbians have dated trans men, etc) so yeah we share common experiences because of our shared sex, and if they’re female-attracted, even more so. So we just said they’d be welcome on our blog, if any of them wanted to. It doesn’t mean we want to force anyone to take on any label they don’t want to (re: straight trans men and the label “lesbian”) it just means that if any of them felt they could relate to what we post, that that would be perfectly fine by us. But we’re not going to make anything aimed specifically at trans men.

As for trans women, I personally don’t mind if any of them follow us if they’re able to relate to what we post. I don’t like obsessively policing who follows me or who other people follow (mod m speaking here) But, again, since our blog was made to be a space for female/afab lesbians, it’s the perspective we’ll be speaking from. So we’re not going to make anything specifically aimed at trans women either, because we feel there was a lack of spaces that focused on female lesbian sexuality and talked honestly about exclusive same-sex attraction, and what that entails (because with discourse like the “lesbian are bigots if they don’t like dick” we’re becoming less and less able to talk about our sexual orientation and desires and what that entails, because other people thinks us talking about our lives is inherently evil, when it’s not meant to hurt anyone, it’s just us speaking our truth)

This doesn’t mean we hate trans people at all or wish them any ill. All we want is a positive space for us and people like us to talk about our experiences.

Mod M :D

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themachineinspace · 5 years

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What are your thoughts on the trans/non-binary community? Do you accept their place in the LGBT community? I’m not trying to start anything I’m just a curious lesbian.

Yo, don’t worry- I never assume anyone is trying to start anything haha. :D

So first off, sorry for the late response anon!! I have loads of schoolwork as a college student, and since I also work part-time to pay for college and help out at home, that doesnt leave a lot of time for social media stuff.

Yo, don’t worry- I never assume anyone is trying to start anything haha. :D

The T in the LGBT acronym does stand for Trans, yeah. I’m guessing non-binary people are considered trans as well?

If you’re asking for my personal opinion:

In the last few years, I’ve started to experience a different “trans community” than I’m used to, and I can’t say I’m fond of it. D: As a kid, the few trans people I knew transitioned because of dysphoria related to their sexed bodies, and were just living their lives. That was my entire understanding of the T in the LGBT acronym- people who had pressing dysphoria related to their bodies and were going to harm themselves if they couldn’t get rid of their body’s sexed characteristics. For this reason, they were put on hormone treatment in anticipation of surgical intervention, and giving therapeutic treatment if possible, so they could get back to their lives afterwards.

Lately, the people I’ve met online, at the LGBT center where I used to volunteer, and even at regular meet-up groups, have been completely different. (Yes, I know trans people aren’t all the same, but keep reading and I’ll clarify what I mean. I’m not the best with words tbh.)

It used to be about “dysphoria”, and now it’s about “gender euphoria” and what someone has always wanted to be, and thinks they’d fit into the best. And that’s iffy. Because a lot of these people who don’t have dysphoria, are transitioning to fit in better, and to be able to do the things they didn’t think they could do before (why couldn’t they do them before? Because gender roles exist in our society, and sexism hasn’t been eradicted yet. :/ We’re working on it!) This would be all fine and dandy, if it didn’t negatively affect both women’s rights movements ánd homosexuality. :(

The transgender movement used to be made up out of good people who wanted to get better rights for their own- no more housing discrimination, removal of the trans panic defense, a law that stops people from firing those who are gender non-conforming (this is where women’s rights and the transgender movement found a common goal), etc. Right now, the forefront of the transgender movement isn’t represented by any of these people anymore- they’ve been shoved to the back in favour of people like Eli Erlick, Julia Serano, and Riley J Dennis. These people aren’t good people.

Suddenly, it’s not about trying to make sure that trans people are safe, and getting to live their lives and just y know getting some normalcy?? but all about changing medical terminology, calling feminists ’TERFs’ for not centering people who literally have never suffered from sex-based oppression, and pretending that homosexuality doesn’t exist and we’re all attracted to ’gender identity’ instead. It makes zero sense, and is just making life harder for regular trans people who have dysphoria and just want to live normal lives and stuff.

(I also don’t agree with the conservative stance of ’male brains’ and ’female brains’- it’s sexist, and scientifically incorrect. Whatever the cause of dysphoria might be, it is not the fact that someone has the wrong sex brain. Y know who came up with the male / female brains thing? Conservatives. They also think that gay men are just pedophiles, and lesbians are creepy predators.)

It’s also really, really tiring to have to listen to people talking over me on women’s issues, and calling me ’privileged’ for having a body that think they should’ve had. It isn’t my fault that someone wasn’t born with the body they want. If you have to transition to alleviate your dysphoria, and you want to, do so! You’re legally allowed to, and if you’re an adult, people are going to assume you know what you’re doing. But transitioning doesn’t give someone a free-pass to talk about issues that they have no knowledge of. It also doesn’t give someone a free-pass to re-define womanhood or homosexuality because they don’t fit into it. That’s called going out of your lane..

As for the non-binary community- I get along with most nb invididuals, but I find the overarching “community” kind of confusing?? I’m told it isn’t about gender roles, but the signs of being non-binary are all related to gender roles and I’ve yet to meet a non-binary person who could explain their gender to me without falling back onto them. I’m fine with that. It doesn’t bother me to have nb friends, or to not understand why they consider themselves a different gender than me, despite us having the exact same traits. People are different, whatever!

What does bother me is being misgendered at the place I used to volunteer (LGBT center) because I came in wearing a hoodie, and never wear make-up. What bothers me is being told that I would make a “good trans man” or being constantly questioned on my gender by AMAB people who think I’m not “feminine and submissive” enough to be a woman. I don’t dislike the non-binary community, but I dislike the notion that gender roles define someone’s sex, and that the discription of being non-binary is basically equal to that of being gender non-conforming. It used to be a good thing to fight gender roles so you could be yourself and just do you- but right now, in the LGBT community, it isn’t.

So do I think there’s a space of transgender and non-binary people in the LGBT community? Yeah, of course. Do I think the gay right’s movement and the transgender right’s movement are still fighting for the same things? No. I think the trans community needs to outright reject their current spokespeople, and elect better ones. I think that apologies need to be made, and that everything needs to be clarified. I also think they need to apologize to the black community for constantly likening being trans to being black in america, and other poc since all these so-called “proofs of non-binary genders in the middle east” are not actually genders, but just ways to discriminate against feminine gay men in muslim countries. White people need to stop naming other cultures as proof of their “non-binary” stuff.

I’d never disrespect someone just because they’re trans, or gay, or bi, but I expect the same respect in return basically.

#anon #replies #asks

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