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elaineplayz · 3 years

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Feels Like I’m Cheating On You

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Pairing: Bakugou x Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff (Sorry, I can’t write an Angst without a Fluff, my heart couldn’t take it)

Warning: Slight KiriBaku (No, Kiri and Baku didn’t like each other here, they’re just bros here!), and Heartbroken Izuku (Not physically, but because that he realized that Y/N didn’t love him in a romantical way), Yelling, Cussing, no censor at the bad words, Couple Fight, Broke up, Suicidal attempts.

Word Count: 2102 Words

About Y/N

Name: Y/N Shinsou

Quirk: Time Manipulation, she could make thing grow older, or younger. It’s also working to living thing, human it’s not an exception so she could heal them, or herself. She also can fix broken thing. She also can make time go to yesterday, or tomorrow, but of course, she cant make people forget about what happened about today just because she reverse the time. She could time teleport, but she can do it just for 4 hours, if more than it, her nose and mouth will started to bleed, and she will feel a very painful dizziness.

Related to: Hitoshi Shinsou (Cousin from F/N’s twin), Todoroki Shoto (Cousin from M/N’s cousin, Rei) and All Might (Uncle from M/N)

Get into U.A. by: Recommendation

Childhood friend of Midoriya and Bakugou

Height: 5'7 (170 cm)

Hobby: Creating songs, play music. Yea, she get along with Jirou very well

Y/N’s POV

Huft, who knows that working at Sir Nighteye’s agency will be this tiring. Saving Eri… Poor girl, she have to be an experiment tool since her childhood. I want to tell Katsuki, Hitoshi or Shoto but we have to keep this secret…

“Shinsou-san!” Iida called me.

“Yes Iida-kun?”

“Can you give this to Aizawa-sensei? If the Class Rep can’t doing his job, of course the Class Deputy is going to do that right?”

I sighed. Who the hell voted me? I didn’t asked to be voted, why do they vote me? There’s Momo that more responsible, I want to hand this job to her, but I realized this will be good for be a leader experience.

I nodded than take the documents.

“Arigatou Shinsou-san!”

“Ah, Douita! Well, gotta go”

After I gave the document, I walked to my dorm, but…

“Y/N!!!” Mina hugged me; she’s shaking.

“Yes, Mina?”

“C-can you help me?” She asked

“About-?”

“I just spill Uraraka’s juice!”

“Uraraka’s? Oh shit, you’re really messed up” I replied, while she dragged me into Momo’s room. I saw Momo shaking, and I look at the juice bottle.

Oh, Momo didn’t know where to buy that juice isn’t she?

I touched the juice and the bottle, then the juice is getting inside the bottle, that are floating. After the juices get all in, the bottle is already on the table.

“Thank you, Y/N!” Momo bowed.

“Hey no problem! Quit that bowing shit!”

“I don’t know how to say thanks, so take this!” Momo started to create something. And when its done, she gave me an… ENERGY BAR? She’s really a ‘Class’s Mom’, I wonder why they didn’t chosen her.

“Thanks, Momo” I walked into my dorm room, take a bath, then I get down waiting for dinner.

“Y/N-Chan, what do you think Lunch Rush’s Chef will cook for us?” Asked Izuku

“I dunno, what I know is I’m hungry, and I just wanna eat” I replied

Izuku chuckled, I’m the only girl that he can talk with normally, cuz he always got all flustered with other girls.

*Bruk*

Kaminari accidentally dropped a mug full of hot tea at my lap.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” I yelled at Kaminari, seriously?

“I’M SORRY!” Kaminari apologized, while he’s trying to clean the mess.

“Huft, no need to clean this, I reverse this thing’s time” I started to see the mug is go to Kaminari’s hand, when the tea is get into the mug, and my baggy pants started to dry.

-After eating-

What a terrible day. I get into my room; I look at my messy room. Ugh, I’mma clean this room. After I cleaned the room, maybe it takes 15-30 Minutes to clean my mess. I was going to sat at my bed and then…

*Kreet*

Katsuki… I hope he wont make me mad, today is the worst, don’t make it even worser. I look at Katsuki, he look bruised here and there.

“Welcome back, How’s training?” I asked.

“Shitty”

“Oh my, you’re bruised here and there!” I started to take a med kit.

“Shut up” He glared.

“What-?”

“I SAID, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He yelled.

“I only commented! Let me heal y- “He stitched his hand from me.

“Don’t touch me”

I inhaled.

“I’M JUST WORRIED, OKAY? I’M JUST GOING TO HEAL YOU, WHY DID YOU ALWAYS TAKE IT WITH EGO?!” I yelled.

Katsuki glared daggers at me, his eyes widened, explosion started to form.

I’m really pissed and disappointed right now, because of that, tears started to rush down from my eyes.

“Get out, WE ARE OVER!”

Katsuki’s eyes started to look disappointed, why? I don’t know. “Did you just broke up with me?”

“Yea”

“Goodbye…” “Goodbye… Bakugou”

Bakugou stomped away from my room.

Bakugou’s POV

I started to make explosion using my hand, Y/N looked at me with a disappointed look, tears started to form at her eyes. My expression softened.

“Get out, WE ARE OVER!” She yelled.

My eyes widen, my expression hardened.

“Did you just broke up with me?”

“Yea”

“Goodbye…” “Goodbye… Bakugou”

My heart is broken into pieces, even maybe her quirk couldn’t fix it.

I stomped away from her room, little that she know, I started crying after I get out from her room.

I get into my room, there’s Pinky, Earphone, Soy-Face, Dunce-Face, and Shitty Hair.

“We heard you and Shinsou’s yells. So, you two broken up?” Dunce Face spoke up.

“You should’ve known that she has a bad day, she’s a lil grumpy today. Ofc some of us haven’t noticed, because it’s just a little. She couldn’t stop swearing or mumbling under her breath” Earphone added.

“But Bakugou, I’m sure you two will make up again” Soy face assured.

“I don’t think so- “Pinky mumbled. I choose to ignore it

“Bakubro, if you need a shoulder to cry, you have us!” Shitty Hair grinned with his stupid grin.

I walked to him and cries, and the rest of them started to hugging us.

But why it feels like I’m cheating on Y/N? I’m just hugging Shitty Hair; we even didn’t have any romantic relationship…

Izuku’s POV

Broke up? Kacchan and Y/N?

I don’t know I should be happy or sad…

I liked her since childhood…

Flashback

“Are you alright?” I asked to Kacchan.

“DEKUUU!” Kacchan’s face started to redden because of anger, and he explode my face, hopefully he didn’t draws any blood there.

“Kacchan! What the hell is wrong with you?” Y/N ran to me and Kacchan. She used her quirk to heal me.

“Why did you even be friend with a quirkless useless loser like him?!” Kacchan replied.

“A quirkless people isn’t useless! God is create all of this, and all of them is not useless! His dream is to be a hero, but hero is not as simple as have a cool quirk and fight villains! Our parents is our hero, even if their job isn’t a hero! Even if our parents is a villain, they brought us here! To the world! Even if Izuku is just a Quirkless Useless Loser, I rather be friend with him than with a Quirky Mean Bully like you!” She defended me.

Flashback End

She also preventing me from suicide.

Flashback

Kacchan walked away with his gank, there’s only me and Y/N left in the classroom. I stared blankly to the window. I walked and thinking about Kacchan’s ‘advice’. I climbed to stand at the window, my feet is going to step forward but-

“IZUKU DON’T!” Y/N pulled me inside the classroom.

“Why do you care?” I asked.

“You’re my only bestfriend, Izu! If you committed suicide, you’ll leave me here! Don’t, don’t do it just because that Meanie Pomeranian said so!” She cried.

“Sorry” I hugged her.

Flashback End

When she said that I can be a hero to All Might

Flashback

“He can be a hero! C’mon Uncle! If you can, why he can’t?”

“Y/N- “All Might looked at Y/N. Wait, he knew Y/N’s name?

“It’s his dream since childhood you know?!”

Flashback End

Maybe I should visit her now-? Or tomorrow? Maybe tomorrow, she hated when someone came at her when she’s absolutely pissed, the only person she’d let to interacting with her is only Todoroki-kun and Shinsou-kun.

Y/N’s POV

After Bakugou left my room, I jumped to my bed then cried…

*Knock knock*

“Get in” I answered.

I saw Shoto and Hitoshi came in, Hitoshi hugged me.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to question how can I came here.” Hitoshi smiled, I hugged him back. I looked at Shoto, he’s only looked at his hand, then hugged me too.

Shoto’s POV

I heard Y/N and Bakugou argued, they never been like this before. And when I heard Y/N’s sobs, I call Shinsou, even if my room is next to her room, I still can’t make people feels better.

“Hello Shinsou?”

“Oh, it’s you, what happen to Y/N?” Shinsou asked.

“How did you know it’s about her?”

“C’mon, it’s obvious. You wouldn’t need me if it’s not ‘bout Y/N.” He chuckled.

“Bakugou and Y/N broke up, I heard her sobs”

“What!? That rude bastard… Since I first met him in front of your class, I already know that he’s the worst! And when I found out that he’s dating Y/N, I already have a bad feeling!” Shinsou started to cuss. Shinsou is very protective about Y/N, not mentioning that I’m protective either.

“Open the front dorm door” Shinsou said.

“Since when you already there?! Ok wait!” I’m surprised, he’s fast.

I walked too 1st Floor, there I saw Iida and Yaoyorozu looked at the door, looking suspicious.

“Oh Todoroki-kun! I’m glad you’re here! I’m kinda suspicious, someone knocked the door! It’s not normal for Aizawa-sensei too go to our dorm at night!” Iida explained.

“No need to be suspicious, it’s just Shinsou” I replied.

“Shinsou-kun? Oh… Yea I understand”

I opened the door, Shinsou stomped in, ignoring Iida and Yaoyorozu.

Next Day

Y/N’s POV

I use my U.A. Uniform, take my suitcase (Hero Suitcase, y’know, that one if we open the suitcase, there’s the hero costume), and I go to the first floor, waiting for Izuku, Kirishima, Uraraka and Tsu.

“Oi Shinsou!” Kirishima called.

“Yeah?”

“Take this” He gave me an energy bar.

“Woah thanks”

“No problem, we have no time to take breakfast after all” He grinned with a sharky tooth grin.

“Guys let’s go!” Uraraka run at us, followed by Izuku and Tsu.

We have a meeting with heroes, plus Aizawa-sensei, after that Izuku asked something to me.

“Umm… Y/N, I have something to say” Izuku’s face redden immediately.

“Okay, what it’s about?” I asked, confused.

“I heard, you and Kacchan broke up yesterday, I’m sorry! I just wanna tell you that I already have feelings for you since childhood! Please date me! I know, it’s like I’m using the situation, but when I wanna confess to you, Kacchan and you already dating! I know you didn’t like me in that way, but please give me a chance!” Izuku’s face being as red as Kirishima’s hair.

I don’t know what makes me give him a chance…

“Okay Izu, I gave you the chance” I answered.

“Really? Thank you!” Izuku hugged me.

but I didn’t know that Kirishima is watching us.

Izuku grab my hand and walked home, I mean to the dorms.

But when he grab my hand its feels like I’m cheating on Bakugou

Everytime Izuku and I talk, my mind is always thinking about Bakugou… Yea I know… I’m still in love with him but I cant handle his anger anymore, I’m DONE. After saving Eri and U.A. School Festival, I write a song script, and then I take my guitar and stated to sing.

“It started with a kiss

On our dorm’s couch

2012 was nothing serious

And then we caught the feels

It got really real

Too good to be true

I guess I thought you was, yeah”

I sighed, then continued

“Why did I run away, run away, run away?

Oh, your love was everything, everything, everything

I know it's gettin' late, gettin' late, gettin' late

But can I still be on my way, on my way? Yeah~?”

I sobbed

“I know I said, ‘Goodbye’, and, baby, you said it too…

But when I touch him, I feel like I'm cheating on you

I thought that I'd be better when I found someone new

But when I touch him, I feel like I'm cheating on you”

Katsuki, do you feel this too?

“Baby, now, oh, cheating on you

Baby, now

But when I touch him, I feel like I'm cheating on you”

I stopped, because Izuku opened my door.

“Y/N… you know, I already think about this…” Izuku’s voice sounded sad.

“About?”

“I realized that you still loved Kacchan, and Kacchan is always glanced at you, but not with a hateful expression, but missing someone expression.” Izuku started.

“So, I think we should broke up, I didn’t want to hurt myself more seeing this. I’ll try move on and make you two together” He grinned, but his eyes is not smiling.

“I’m sorry Izuku, I’m sorry for trying to use you as tool to get over my love for Bakugou!” I cried.

“It’s okay Y/N-san, love can’t be forced”

“So, you’re still in love with me huh?” I heard a familiar voice, I looked at the door.

“B-Bakugou?”

“Dumbass” He muttered, than hugged me.

“I’m also still in love with you”

“B-“

“Katsuki, now, we’re dating again, right?”

I nodded. I forgot that Izuku is still here, watching me and Katsuki with a heartbroken look.

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diamondcamefromhell · 4 years

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Timeless love

Jaskier x female reader series part 3

[PART 1] ; [PART 2]

Summary: This is an AU, where Y/N is a young woman, trying to make ends meet with her freelancing writing job. She lives in her small Nottingham studio apartment along with her cat Apollo. Things change when one evening as she is waiting for her taxi, she meets what she thinks is Joey Batey, but the man in front of her is convinced he’s Jaskier, a character from her current favorite show. Y/N now has to figure out what to do.

Warnings: Swearing, vomit, alcoholism and alcohol-related borderline abuse

Word count: 2,251

NOTE:

This part has some heavier stuff than any other work Ive written, so please, proceed with caution for your own sake. nothing too graphic happens, but still want to make sure you know that it does have a certain character that could be triggering to some. he wont be a dominant feature in all parts, but i feel it’s important for Jaskier to interact with people like that, as he continues to learn about our world.

hope you enjoy this part nonetheless. feedback, as always, is greatly appreciated <3 [im really nervous to see what yall think]

I don’t know when, but I managed to get some sleep. Not much, as it was just 7 am when Apollo started meowing and jumping on me, asking to be fed. I sit up, my gaze immediately going to the coach, where Jaskier seemed to be sleeping soundly.

I crawl out of the bed, going to the kitchen, where I see lute back by the fridge. He eventually put it down last night. I wonder how long did it take for him to fall asleep. I sigh, as quietly as possible pouring some food for my cat, who purrs as a thank you.

I stare out the window, as cars start going up and down the street. The town is waking up. I tiptoe around my apartment to go get my laptop from the coffee table. I am surprised Jaskier didn’t ask about it last night. But then again, he didn’t know most of the things in my apartment, he probably was overwhelmed.

I go back to my bed, opening and booting up my old friend. As I enter the password, I am greeted with a picture of him and Geralt on that rock, at the end of episode 6. I loved that whole scene so much. I stare at it, not believing the same bard is sleeping on my coach. I know better, so I change the picture to one of the default ones.

I open chrome, exiting the youtube page that has his song on it. He is not ready for that.

Or maybe I wasn’t. But it didn’t matter.

I go to email, checking for work. I have a few requests, and I decide it’s best to get some work done before Jaskier wakes up and we have to have more awkward conversations. I manage to write two articles, and then he awakens.

His face, for a second, is full of confusion, but then he seems to remember where he is. Now, his expression grows sad. I know he probably wished this were just a nightmare. I know he wished to wake up, back home. With Geralt and even Yennefer. But instead he got me and Apollo, who was already jumping on the coach, greeting Jaskier.

“So that wasn’t a dream,” he murmurs, but I catch it. I close my laptop.

“I’m afraid not.” I respond, as he looks at me, his expression still cold. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, what can you do.” He forces a smile, which I don’t really like, but I decide it’s best not to comment on that. Instead, I nod.

“I wish I could do something. Anyway,” I clear my throat. “Are you up to trying something new?”

“Depends on what it is.” Jaskier perks up, his clouded gaze clearing a little.

“Dirty beans.” I say, jumping out of my bed, I smirk at him. “Or as people call it – coffee.”

“I think I will pass on dirty beans.” He frowns and I giggle.

“You will not.” I say, as he smiles, just a little. And I know it’s genuine. A little hope in these dark times.

I go turn on my coffee maker, putting in the capsule. I decide to make him a latte, nothing too strong. I make myself giggle, when I realize he may be lactose intolerant. I guess we will find out. I stare at him, and decide to add two sugars.

For myself, however, I go black, with one sugar. I need the energy, as I feel absolutely exhausted. I take the drinks, giving him his cup. He sniffs the drink, taking a sip. I don’t sit down, closely watching his reaction.

He doesn’t frown, and actually looks pleasantly surprised. Smile curls his lips, and I catch myself smiling too.

“Glad you like my dirty beans.” I say, finally sitting down, sipping my own. The bitter taste hits my taste buds, waking me up in an instant.

“It’s nice. Thank you.” I smile.

“You are welcome, Jaskier.” I say, leaning back on the couch. “Let me know if you are hungry, I will cook something.”

“I will, thanks.” I glance at him, realizing how surreal it is. Yet we both seem calm.

“Then we might need to go out. Try to see if we can find something around here.” I feel anxiety rush over me. “It’s best if we do it in a day too. Safer.”

“What will we look for?” I shrug, closing my eyes.

“We’ll see it when we find it.” I look at his attire now. “However, you will have to change.”

“Sorry, I didn’t pack anything.” He says, smirking, and I feel a wave of ease wash over me. I am glad he is making jokes.

“I have some clothes that should fit you. I think.” He looks confused, nearly scared, so I continue. “Not my clothes, but I buy some for Dave, he sometimes needs them, because well… he doesn’t have that much.”

“Dave?” I cant read Jaskier’s tone, but he seems confused.

“He lives in the apartment in front of mine. We are… acquaintances at best.” Jaskier nods, as I place my coffee down.

I rush to my small wardrobe, going to the second drawer, where I keep clothes for Dave. Poor guy vomits on himself so often, and he doesn’t know how to wash clothes exactly. If they’re not too disgusting, I wash them, but I keep fresh ones at hand.

I get them at a thrift store, so most of them aren’t to fancy or anything.

I pull a pair of old black jeans, trying to imagine if Jaskier could fit in them. I think he should, but then again, I didn’t exactly examine how he looks that much. I’ve seen it for hours on tv. Dave is not a big man, and I thank my angels for that, as I pull a white shirt that should fit Jaskier too. I dig around to find a pink hoodie.

For a moment I think he wouldn’t wear it, but then I remember what he is wearing now and realize he probably would be fine with a bit of pink. I turn around, revealing his outfit, but Jaskier looks confused.

“Please tell me you know how to dress yourself.” I tease, and he laughs.

“I do, if you can’t tell, I dress nicely.” I chuckle, but don’t respond. “This is weird.”

“Just change.” I throw the clothes to him, and he starts undressing before my very own eyes. It takes me a moment for shock to pass away, before the blush rushes to my face. “In the bathroom for Christs sake!”

I point to the only other room in my apartment as the bard looks very confused. But one look at me, flustered and red sends the message, as he smirks, gathering his clothes and leaving the room. I fan my face with my hands.

Now I don’t meant to act like such a loser and fear seeing a man’s nipple. It’s just that I know I might have to stay with him for a couple more days, so it might make things weird. Also, I already had a crush on him, kinda, and I didn’t want to deepen it even more.

When he comes out, I am already seated, calmed down and drinking my coffee. I turn my face and immediately feel a wave of something rush over me. He looks so different. The pants are a bit big, I notice, but nothing a belt cant fix. The shirt, however, fits perfect, hugging his body. And the zip up hoodie ads a familiar pop of colour.

I feel my face become hot again.

“Verdict?” He asks, twirling around.

“You need a belt.” I say in one breath, rushing to get him the damn thing, before his pants fall off. Which, they nearly did already. When they are secure, I give one final look. “You look normal, so you’re good, I guess.”

“I don’t feel normal.” He says bitterly, and I sigh.

“I know, Jaskier. Not your usual attire, but this way, you will stand out less.” I stare at him, knowing there is a way bigger problem at hand.

He now literally looks like Joey Batey. An exact replica. And if someone, who has seen the hit show, sees him, it will be bad. I suddenly get a headache.

“We have a different problem. You look exactly like someone well known. That’s why I mistook you when I saw you last night.” I say, rubbing my temples.

“Who?” I sigh again.

“Joey. Joey Batey.” I grunt, closing my eyes. “If people recognize you as him, there might be… trouble.”

“Do townsfolk know him that well?” I glare at the man, but then I remember he seemingly knows nothing about my world. So I ease up.

“Yes. He’s like Geralt.” I compare. “The world just knows him. I guess we will have to stay close to home. And wear your hood up.”

I ignore my headache, chugging down my coffee, as Jaskier puts his hood up. He looks adorable, but I don’t say that, instead I nod, approving. I decide to go without breakfast, as the more I think about having to go outside, the more anxious I get.

And I am out of my medication, since I don’t like going to a doctor. I silently curse myself out, as we make our leave. The corridor still stinks, so I give Jaskier an apologetic glance, who in return gives me a soft smile. I feel a chill rush down my spine, when the door behind our backs open. I drop my keys, thankfully after I already locked the door.

I quickly pick them up, turning around to face my neighbour. Dave is staring at Jaskier, his eyes wide with surprise. He has never seen me bring a man home.

Dave is wearing grey joggers, with various stains on it. I notice some blood, but realize it’s best not to ask, not with Jaskier in the earshot. His shirt also clearly has dried vomit on it, and he oozes of vodka and something else. It makes me dizzy and sick.

I try to imagine what the bard is seeing. A frail, tiny white male. Bald, but with a black creepstache. Shaking uncontrollably. It must be so confusing. I want for us to get away, only then I notice Jaskier shielding me ever so slightly. My heart beats faster.

“Hello Dave.” I say through my teeth, stepping in front of Jaskier, so now I would shield him from the curious stare.

“Y/N, sweetheart. Didn’t know you had company.” He says, holding on his door frame, stabilizing himself. I force a smile.

“Yes, well. He’s a friend.” I say, stepping in front of ‘my friend’ more. Dave wasn’t generally violent, but he could get jealous and insecure from every male person who ever walked this earth. Let’s say he has a fragile ego.

“Introduce us, then!” He smiles, and I notice he’s missing his front tooth now. Poor man.

“I’d rather not, Dave.” I say, firmly, as he takes a step forward, using me as a stabilizer now. I want to step away, but I know it would cause a scene. And he wasn’t generally violent, but there instances.

“C’mon sweetheart.” He leans in, whispering. “Your friends are my friends.”

“I said no.” My voice comes out weak as the stench from his is making me feel dizzy. I feel like I am about to throw up.

“She has said no, Dave.” Jaskier speaks, startling me. I almost forgot he was there. He steadies me, as I didn’t even realize I was drifting back. Then I notice my hands shaking. I’m beginning to panic. Fuck.

“We are in a rush, Dave.” I deescalate the situation, as my neighbor was shooting daggers at Jaskier. “Next time, I will introduce you two.”

“Where are you going?” Dave steps back, but he grabs my upper hand. I get startled, squirming a little. That seems to tip off Jaskier.

“Let go.” He steps in front of me now, his voice firm. Dave, to my surprise, listens, letting me go immediately.

“You got yourself a good man, Y/N.” He says, laughing. He steps in his apartment, slamming the door. I lean on the wall, taking a couple deep breaths, which don’t help as it stinks in here.

“Are you okay?” I shake my head.

“I need fresh air.”

I practically jump down the stairs, and when I reach outside, I go around the corner to throw up. My stomach hurts.

Dave is usually kind. He rarely ever lays his hands on me, but whenever he does, it’s never nice. I wish Jaskier wasn’t there to witness this. I glance over my shoulder, to see his worried look, I straighten up, wiping my mouth.

“I’m fine.” I grunt, ignoring the fact that his gaze doesn’t change.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with that, a lady like you…” I lift my hand, annoyed. He get’s the hint, shutting up.

“In this world, Jaskier, I’m no lady.” I put my hair behind the ear, anxiously looking around. “Get used to that.”

“It’s not fair.” He argues, worry not leaving his face. I sigh, walking past him.

“The world isn’t fair.” I bitterly say, before taking a deep breath. I face Jaskier again. “Now let’s look for something that could help you.”

He knows this conversation is over, as I feel anxiety come back. I have no idea what to look for or where to even begin.

[PART 4]

~~~~~~~~

TAG LIST [if you wish to be added or removed from the tag list, lmk]

@ultracolorfulnerdcollection ; @viyamystic ; @sleepyblossom ; @killjoy-acid-crash

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dancingkirby · 5 years

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In which Bolin plays with toys and Eska fails at flirting

I’m going to have to think up a title for this story soon. I was thinking maybe “Into Open Waters.”

“How dare she? How dare she?”

Eska paced around the room, trying her hardest to keep her voice low so as not to disturb Kinalik. The stress of the previous sleepless night, their escape in the wee hours, the sheer physical effort required to waterbend all the way to Republic City with a toddler and luggage in tow, the energy required to interact with people in a strange place…all of it was consuming her.

She collapsed in a chair, her body shaking and angry tears streaming down her face, which made her feel all the worse; like she was no more mature than her daughter.

Did their courtiers think that the twins did not hear the snickers and whispers of “half breed?” And yesterday…they had all looked at Kinalik like she was a monster. They felt that their only option was to get her out of there.

“I was trying to explain, but she wouldn’t listen!” she moaned to her brother.

“Perhaps she felt the same about you,” Desna offered cautiously.

“Perhaps,” Eska muttered, making an enormous effort to control her crying. “I have no harsh feelings towards our cousin’s significant other; she is not nearly as uncouth as the others. I was just…trying so hard not to cry in front of them that I forgot to thank her. People only seem to care about what I do incorrectly; not what I do the appropriate way. Yes, I know you are an exception, brother,” she hastily added to ward off his protests. She furiously scrubbed the tears away.

“I recommend that we go to sleep right now and ponder the matter further in the morning,” Desna said.

“Yes…that would probably be wise.”

Eska was worried that she’d have problems falling asleep like she often did in locations that weren’t home. However, the rhythm of Kinalik’s breathing soothed her, and the trio was soon huddled together in a deep slumber.

When Eska woke up who-knows-how-late in the morning, her back was throbbing in pain. She supposed it was to be expected with all the exercise and lifting that she did yesterday. Even attempting to roll over caused her to moan. Thankfully, Desna had already awoken, and was ready with the bowl of water. He and Eska silently healed each other, then Eska also healed Kinalik, who was uninjured but wanted to do what the grownups were doing. It didn’t get rid of all the pain, but reduced it enough to allow her to perform the usual morning functions and help Kinalik with hers.

When they got downstairs to the breakfast room, Korra was sitting there alone. She had finished her own meal, but there was still a pot of tea and a plate of steamed buns filled with bean paste on the table. Eska was impressed to see that they’d remembered about Kinalik’s noodles, and that the child’s chair had a pile of cushions on it in lieu of a booster seat.

“Asami’s in the shower,” Korra said in response to their unspoken query. “She likes to fiddle around in her workshop first thing in the morning when she’s feeling upset.”

Even Eska could tell that the last few words were pointed. “Hm,” was all she could trust herself to say in response as she grabbed a bun.

“Does she eat anything else?” Korra asked, referring to Kinalik. That was a somewhat safer topic, at least.

“Rice. Eggs. Apples peeled and cut to slices exactly ¼ inch thick. Arctic hen. Some types of fish; she seems to change her mind about exactly which types by the day,” Eska answered. She stopped to think. What else was there?

“We have been having modest success in getting her to eat kelp,” Desna reminded.

“Oh yes. The first time she ate that was a triumphant occasion indeed. And before you ask, cousin, we do give her a daily multivitamin.”

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Korra said quickly. She took a sip of her tea and said, “I wonder if she’d like Narook’s? They have a kid’s menu.”

“Is it noisy?”

“Dinner can be…lunch is usually quieter.”

“We will consider it.”

They were spared from doing further chatting for the moment by Asami entering the room, fully dressed but with a towel wrapped around her head. Korra looked at Eska expectantly.

Eska supposed that this was her cue to apologize. Damn it. She’d never cared about the feelings of anyone outside of her family before.

“I’msorry,” she mumbled while looking down at her hands. This seemed to satisfy the requirements for now.

“It’s okay,” Asami said. “I know you must have been under a lot of stress. Now, is this enough food for you? We could have the cook make something hot…”

“This is sufficient,” Desna assured her.

Asami sat down as well and got her own breakfast, and apparently decided that it would be best to get right to the point.

“So…Korra said that you were concerned about Kinalik’s safety…”

“That is one way to phrase it.”

“So exactly how deep into hiding did you want to go?”

Good question.

“We hadn’t thought things through that far yet,” Desna admitted. “All we were hoping for was to buy a few days of time to strategize. That was why we chose not to stay at a hotel.”

“Simply arriving at this destination was the main objective. They will discover our location sooner or later, but I doubt that they would take our lives here. Nevertheless, we should take precautions,” Eska added.

Korra and Asami stopped to think, and then Korra said, “Well, you do have one thing going for you. You’re fairly obscure. Probably all that most people in Republic City know about you is that you’re those creepy twins.”

Eska clenched her jaw, and willed the angry words ready to spring from her back down her throat. She didn’t want another argument to start so quickly. Desna appeared to be having a similar struggle, but was able to state in an even tone, “We do like our privacy.”

While they had been talking, Kinalik had finished her noodles and was getting bored.

“Down!” she commanded. Eska rose to help her off the cushions, and sat back down with her daughter in her lap.

“And that’s another thing,” Asami said. “I didn’t even know of Kinalik’s existence until yesterday, and I don’t think Korra did either.”

“They may have mailed something,” Korra said. “But I was kind of distracted at the time.”

“We did air a birth announcement on the radio,” Eska remarked. Granted, it had run only once. At 6 AM. Neither the twins nor their advisors had wanted to call much attention to it.

“Well, anyway, if all that the general public knows about you is that you’re twins, we’d want to make you look as unalike as possible. Plus, the weather’s much too warm right now for your regular wardrobes. We’ll need to shop for new clothes, and one of you might have to cut your hair.”

Asami looked over at Desna, but Eska quickly said, “I’ll do it.” Desna had done so much for her; it was only fair that she should be the one to make this sacrifice.

“I have to go get the rest of my stuff this morning, but…hold on, let me write this down,” Korra said.” She retrieved a notebook and pencil from a side table.

“Asami, could you take them downtown this afternoon? I’ll probably want to rest, and you’re the one with the style sense. And um…I still can’t drive that well.”

“Sure, but maybe one at a time? Whoever is after them would be looking for twins.”

“No prob. Desna, you okay with waiting until tomorrow?”

“Whatever you think is best,” Desna answered, albeit apparently with some unease about them being separated. The twins squeezed hands under the table.

“Bolin might want to join us,” Asami remarked. “You know how he is about makeovers.”

“Oh, yeah, whoops, I forgot about Bolin. And we were going to do a proper introduction today.”

“I wonder…” Asami trailed off as Korra scribbled away.

“Hm?”

“I was just thinking about how to make all this more pleasant for Kinalik. I think I have an idea. You go over to Air Temple Island. I can take care of arranging things.”

“’Kay, love you.”

They kissed. Eska was relieved. All of the talking had been making her dizzy.

After Korra had finally departed, Asami got Eska, Desna, and Kinalik situated in the living room. Unlike the more formal parlor they’d seen on the tour yesterday, this room was stocked with comfortable furniture, which was a blessing for Eska’s back. It was decorated with plush carpeting, wooden paneling, several paintings, and a tall bookcase in the corner. Eska made a beeline for the latter and thumbed through the selection.

While Eska was busy with her browsing, Asami used one of the mansion’s many phones to call Bolin.

“So what do you think about coming over here shortly? Makeovers may be involved.”

Eska could hear Bolin’s shriek of joy from clear across the room. Asami had to hold the receiver at arm’s length until he calmed down.

“I take it that’s a yes? Okay, what time? Yeah, I think we can do that. So see you…oh? What is it?”

She listened for a few seconds, then said, “Well, I’ll ask them,” and covered the receiver with her hand.

“Eska, Desna, Bolin says that Opal wants to come meet you. Is that okay?”

Eska was intrigued in spite of herself. She wanted to see just what sort of powerful woman had managed to ensnare her ex’s heart.

“It is all right with me. Desna?”

“Me as well.”

“Great!” exclaimed Asami. She turned back to the receiver and said, “That’s a yes from both of them. See you in a few, then? All right. No, Pabu had better stay at your apartment this time. Bye.”

She hung up the phone, then left the room, saying vaguely that she had to “get things ready.”

Eska, in the meantime, had found several recent issues of Republic City Style. She had first encountered this publication in the storage room of the library back home, and knew that it was trash, but had been unable to stop reading these chronicles of uncivilized famous people and their clothing. And it definitely wasn’t because she was jealous of them and their hedonistic lives! No, if ever asked, she would claim that it was simply anthropological studies.

“All right, let’s see who Ginger is dating now,” she murmured as she sat down to look at the pictures with Kinalik.

“May I have one?” Desna asked.

“You may.”

They were deeply engrossed in their reading material, with occasional snorts of incredulity from the twins and squeals of “Pretty!” from Kinalik, when they heard something being hauled down the stairs and dragged into the living room.

“I found that box of t-o-y-s that I was telling you about yesterday!” Asami said as she beamed. She had removed her towel, and looked no worse for wear from the exertion. Eska wished that she could look that put-together.

“So I was thinking that Bolin could help Kinalik look through these, and that maybe she would warm up to him more if she associated him with a positive thing like that.”

Kinalik perked up at the mention of her name. Eska thought that this was actually a clever idea, and wished that she could have thought of that herself.

“Shall we see what is contained in here?” Eska asked Kinalik. Her daughter didn’t answer verbally, but appeared happy for the first time since they’d left the palace.

As Asami left to get some scissors with which to open the box, the doorbell rang. The door was opened shortly thereafter, presumably by the butler…what was his name again?

“We have arrived!” Bolin announced as he bounded into the living room, followed closely behind by Opal. “And…hey neat, what’s that?” He gestured at the box.

Asami explained her idea to him as Kinalik removed the first item from the box: a stuffed animal in the form of a cat-owl.

“Great, sounds great!” Bolin enthused as made to sit down right next to Kinalik, then caught himself in time and picked a spot a respectful couple of feet away.

Asami had certainly never been lacking in any amusement as a child; Eska felt a twinge when she remembered how her own toys had been taken away when she wasn’t too much older than Kinalik. There were stuffed animals of all sorts (yes, including a turtleduck and a koala otter), dolls, and Satomobile models. Thankfully, nothing was in that box that would pose a choking hazard; Eska presumed that Kinalik was smart enough not to put toys in her mouth, but one never knew for sure.

Kinalik was insistent on doing the unpacking herself, and kept most of the toys to herself, but every so often she would shyly offer one to Bolin.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed at her latest offering of a stuffed animal that was so worn that Eska couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. “Do you wanna know something, Kinalik? I don’t remember what toys I had when I was your age. I wish I did. So this is really as exciting for me as it is for you!”

Kinalik scrunched her nose, and either because she didn’t know how to respond or didn’t have the words, settled for “Okay.” But she did hand over a toy truck to him.

“Oh, she’s just adorable!” said Opal, which slightly startled Eska because she’d been so focused on the scene across the room. She was seated at the opposite end of the couch from the twins.

“Yes,” Eska answered. She and Desna switched places so that there would be no one between Eska and Opal. Then she remembered.

“I have on my possession a copy of Kinalik’s birth certificate,” Eska stated as she took the piece of paper out of her pocket. “It contains proof that Bolin was not being unfaithful to you. Not with me, at least.”

Opal didn’t move to take it.

“It’s okay, I believe you. Really,” she said.

It was just that easy? Eska had been anticipating a more frosty reception.

“So what do you think? Can we be friends?” Opal asked as she smiled gently. She extended her hand, and Eska forced herself to make eye contact while tentatively reaching her arm out as well. But she only had the nerve to brush Opal’s fingers with her own.

Just then, there was much excitement from the duo on the floor. Having removed all of the toys from the box, they had reached the best part…the packing paper. Kinalik reached for a particularly large piece and gleefully ripped it in half.

“That makes a cool sound, doesn’t it?” Bolin observed.

Kinalik studied the two halves in her hand, and then crumpled one up, walked over, and reached up to place it on Bolin’s head.

“Oh wow! A hat! Just what I always wanted!” Bolin said with all evidence of sincerity. He tossed his head ever so slightly, and the paper fell to the floor.

“OOPS! It fell off! How clumsy of me!”

Kinalik looked at him, then at the paper, then back at him. And she laughed.

This was something that even Eska herself rarely elicited from her daughter. She wished that she could telepathically transmit to Bolin the significance of this event. But as he glanced over it her, it seemed that he already knew to some extent.

Shortly thereafter, Korra returned, and while the servants transferred her things, Asami herded them all into the main dining room for lunch. Evidently, Korra had informed her partner of Kinalik’s preferences, because the meal was omelets…plain for Kinalik and with vegetables for everyone else. Kinalik actually ate most of hers, and even sampled a piece of mushroom from Eska’s plate without spitting it back out.

When that was concluded, Desna put Kinalik down for a nap while Eska ventured out into the great unknown.

For what felt like the millionth time, Eska felt the ends of her now shoulder-length hair. It felt exceedingly strange to not have it hanging halfway down her back.

Also, the hairdresser had insisted on using hair clips to pin her bangs back.

“You have such a perfectly-proportioned forehead!” the older woman had gushed. “And such delicate eyebrows. Why would you ever want to cover that up?”

At least it might work as a disguise. And Asami and Opal had wholeheartedly agreed with the stylist. They had tried to get Bolin’s opinion as well, but he held up his pointer finger for silence.

“Please don’t disturb me. I have attained manicure Nirvana,” he stated in an exaggerated whisper.

When Bolin had finally descended back down to Earth, they went clothes-shopping. First they got some everyday items. Eska was rather embarrassed that she had to wear clothing from the Juniors section due to her petite frame, but she managed to tolerate the shopping long enough to attain several new outfits. The store had a changing room in case one wanted to wear an outfit out of the store, so Eska had changed her regular tunic and leggings for a sky-blue shirt with cap sleeves, white pants that fell just below the knee, and white sandals. It was odd to have so much of her skin exposed in public, but it was amusing to imagine how the dreaded councilors back home would react.

She was taken aback when she realized that she would have to help carry her own belongings for the first time in her life, but decided not to argue.

Then Asami had remembered about Korra’s party, to which Eska hadn’t realized that she was invited, so they went to a more upscale boutique that specialized in Water Tribe inspired designs to find a dress. Of course, the one that caught Eska’s eye was too large for her, so she would have to come back later for fitting.

By the time that was over, all of them were loaded with shopping bags and getting tired, and Eska’s back was acting up again. She still didn’t understand why some girls and women did this for fun.

“There’s a bubble tea shop just down the street. Let’s stop there,” Asami suggested.

Eska was about to inquire what bubble tea was, but her thoughts slammed on the brakes as a horrific sound rose from the corner next to the tea shop.

“What. Is. That?” she demanded as she jammed her fingers inside her ears.

“That’s a trombone,” Opal answered. She and Asami rolled their eyes at Bolin, who was edging nervously closer toward the tea shop door.

Even leading such a sheltered life, Eska had heard of street musicians. But she had been under the impression that most did it for money. There was no tip box beside this man’s feet, so either he was just doing it for fun or wanted to cause all pedestrians an agonizing death. Probably the latter, she thought.

“I am going to ambulate over there right now and inform that man that he must cease and desist immediately,” she declared.

“Maybe…just going inside would be a better idea?” Bolin offered. “Come on quick, before he sees us!”

Bolin dashed inside, and the three women had no choice but to follow, Opal and Asami both making noises of disapproval.

They got their orders and sat down. Eska had assumed that the bubbles would be some form of carbonation, but they were actually solid spheres. She guessed that it was not called “sphere tea” because it didn’t roll off the tongue as easily. In any case, the spheres had a pleasantly chewy texture.

Meanwhile, Asami was still scolding Bolin.

“He’s a much better person now and you know it!” she said.

“He still scares me!”

“Well, I invited him to the party, so get used to him.”

“You what? Oh frick…here he comes.”

The door abruptly swung open as if accompanied by a musical cue, and Trombone Man walked in like he owned the place. To Eska’s relief, he had put away that torture device for the present. Wait…why was he making a beeline to their table?

“Hi, Tahno!” Asami said cheerfully as Opal waved. The latter elbowed Bolin, who squeaked out a “Hi!”

The name rang a bell. Eska tried to recall where she’d encountered it.

“Now who is this lady here?” Tahno the Trombone Man asked. “I don’t believe that I’ve seen you here with the Uh-vatar’s crowd before.”

Eska assumed that he was referring to Opal. But after several seconds, she realized that he was looking at her. Just in time, she remembered how she knew of him.

“I saw you in the magazines,” she said. “Except then you weren’t there anymore. And then you were, but not quite as often.”

“Guilty as charged.”

Was he flirting, or just making fun of her?

Eska rose from her seat and affixed her best glare.

“Your subpar pronounciation irritates my auditory receptacles. As does your so-called musical talent.”

The look she was giving him would have sent a whole room full of courtiers fleeing. But Trombone Man just laughed.

“Oh, did I offend you, Ice Queen?”

Did he know? At any rate, Eska realized that he towered over her by at least a foot, despite her drawing herself up to as full a height as her back would allow. This would not do.

“If I am the Ice Queen, then you are my subject. I demand that you swear fealty to me by kneeling.”

She heard three sharp intakes of breath. But kneel Tahno did, after only a brief pause. He kept his eyes and his smirk on Eska. Eska remained outwardly composed (at least she hoped so), but her heart was starting to pound…from anxiety or from something else?

“Of course…you do know what this means, Ice Queen? Now I must kiss your hand.”

Eska barely had time to process the words before Bolin leapt in between them.

“O-kaaaayyy!” he exclaimed louder than he had to. “I know we’re all having a wonderful time here, and it was great seeing you again, but look at the clock! We really have to be going now, so bye and see you at the party, I guess!”

He herded the trio of women out the door, drinks, bags, and all. Eska didn’t know whether she wanted to thank him or throttle him.

“That was interesting,” Eska mused as they walked back to the Satomobile. “However, I doubt he would show the submission required to be my husband.”

Bolin choked on his last sip of tea.

“Mental images, Eska! Mental! Images!” he gasped out.

At least he was starting to show his true self around her.

#legend of korra #fanfic #eska #boleska #now you know why I was looking up tahno a few days ago

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shagharoldd · 7 years

Text

I Remember You

(Not my image…)

So this is a re-edit of an old imagine I had! I added some stuff, took some stuff out, all that jazz. I hope you all like it! Please leave me feedback! x

Word count: 3099

Warnings: Memory loss, car accident

Enjoy, my dears!

It had been two months since you had last seem Liam, as he had been doing some promotional tours with the other boys. They were launching another One Direction perfume, which meant he had to be gone for weeks on end to get the word out there and shoot commercials and what not. You couldn’t wait to have him back; your decently sized apartment had started to feel like the walls were closing in on you. You were tired of being alone, the only interaction lately having been hearing his voice on the phone, or FaceTiming with your mom. It was winter break, so you didn’t have to be at Uni for your classes, which meant lounging around and texting Liam most days.

At Liam’s suggestion, you went down to the local animal shelter and adopted a dog. He thought the companionship while he was away was just what you needed, and he was right. The dog, a grey pit-bull named Bruno, and yourself had become fast friends, and it seemed that if you weren’t going for walks around the neighborhood, or cooking something in the kitchen, he was curled up in a little ball laying next to you in bed or on the couch. You couldn’t wait for Liam to come home and meet your newest addition.

That morning, you had received an excited phone call from Liam; it was afternoon where he was, but early morning for you, so it took a minute for his words to actually make sense, but after they did, the squeals that escaped your lips alarmed Bruno. The promotional tour had ended earlier than expected and Liam was coming home! After getting off the phone, you laid there, a smile on your lips, thinking about all the things you wanted to do with him once he got home. But most of all, you just wanted his long, muscular arms wrapped around you in that blanket of warmth and protection you loved so much.

~The next day~

You stand outside the building, waiting for the van to arrive bringing the boys back home. You wore your hair down, hoping it would hide your face a little, as it was public knowledge that Liam and you were dating, and you weren’t really interested in anything other than Liam at that moment.

You look down at your phone as it chirps, an, “Almost there! xx” text popping up on your phone, and you smile, stepping forward a little. Unintentionally, you bump in to a girl who was waiting there for the van as well, presumably, and you quickly apologize. The girl looks up at you, and immediately recognizes who you are. She started asking you a lot of questions about your relationship, when the boys were going to be there, etc., but you don’t really answer any of them. You weren’t rude; you were kind, but you also just wanted to see Liam, not be interrogated. She gets mad and stalks off, to which you just shrug and look back at your phone, timing the last text and the current time, thinking he should be there any moment.

All of a sudden, there is a screech of a set of tires, and you look up excitedly, a large smile visible on your face, but in stead of the familiar van, there is a little red car racing your way, the face of the girl who you bumped in to driving the car. You feet feel like cement, and before you are able to hurl yourself out of the way, you feel the car collide with your body. The last thing you remember is landing on the ground, a scream escaping your lips, and then darkness.

~A Week Later~

A beeping noise vibrates off the wall in the room, and you wake groggily, placing your hand on your head to try and ease yourself out of your sleep. Opening your eyes, you look around beige-colored room to see it filled with people, people you didn’t recognize. Some were sitting on the floor, others asleep in uncomfortable-looking positions on random pieces of furniture.

“She’s awake!” You hear a thick, Irish-accented boy say excitedly and instantly the room is alive with chatter, the spaces around your bed becoming quickly inhabited.

“Y/N,” A tall boy with auburn hair says soothingly, staring down at you, hope in his eyes, “Y/N, please, can you hear me?”

You look at him confused, not recollecting who he is. Why were all these people here? And why were you here? And why the hell do all of them have accents?

“Where am I?” You look around, from face to face, trying to find some sort of familiarity in one of them. “W-Who are you?” You ask, dazed, your eyes closing as your hand find it way back to your forehead, trying to steady some of the dizziness you were feeling.

The same boy looks at you, shaking his head, a little taken-aback. “I-It’s Liam, Y/N. Please tell me you remember me,” his voice starts to break, his hand reaching out for you other hand in your lap.

You pull your hand away from his, hugging yourself, you knees finding their way to your chest and you whisper, “Get out. All of you. Just please, get out.”

“What? Y/N, you know us.” A tall, curly haired boy asks as everyone in the room stares at you, baffled by your reaction to them.

A little louder, you say, “Get out! I don’t know who any of you are!” Your fists slam down on the bed, your head pounding like a drum. Your voice gets louder, “Why are you here? Who are you? You am I? Why am I here?” Your questions start to flood your mind, and the more you scream, the more you find your body thrashing around in the bed.

Suddenly there are multiple people at the entrance to the room. They all look like nurses, and the one that seems to be in charge looks around the room, assessing the situation quickly, before saying, “I think its time you all leave. Y/N needs some space; she’s just very confused.”

Liam looks at you, hurt, but grabs his jacket, slowly exciting the room as the last tenant, looking back at you once before he disappears.

You curl into a ball on the side of your bed, turning your back from the nurse, violent sobs wracking through your body. What is going on? You can’t remember anything; nothing at all. What your name is, where you’re from, nothing. It’s like your mind was a chalkboard, but all of the notes had been erased.

You sob uncontrollably, completely lost in your bewilderment. The nurse comes over and gently tries to soothe you, but as if your body was not your own, you whip around, accidentally hitting her. She stubbles backwards, but as if she expected that to happen, she grabs something off the cart, a sad expression on her face. “Leave me alone! Just get away from me!” you scream, thrashing about even more. You feel your body becoming weak, the pounding in your head making your stomach flip with nausea, and suddenly, as the nurse inserts a clear liquid in to your I.V., you feel your body start to relax, your eyes become heavy, and then the world was black, just like your memory.

~Two Weeks Later~

Your parents flew from the States to London to be with you. They were always afraid of you going to school in a country so far away, but it had been your dream to attend University in London, and that you achieved. This is what they were afraid of: you being hurt and them not being able to get to you.

But as they entered the room, their faces sad, you cant help but question who they really are. Are they really your parents? People that you had known your whole life should trigger some sort of familiarity…but they don’t. They aren’t familiar at all, even as they try to revive your memory, telling you stories about when you were younger. Like when your father and yourself entered a fishing competition when you were four and you caught the largest fish and won a bike, your mother showing you a tattoo of a fish on her foot in commemoration. Or how you had been dating a tall, auburn-hair boy named Liam for almost a year, and how he came home for Thanksgiving with you last year and almost burned the turkey. Unfortunately, you didn’t remember any of it.

You just sit there, your eyes roaming from one of them to the other as they talked, subconsciously listening to them as you try to remember something, anything.

Eventually the doctor comes in, and you exhale in relief, knowing that for a moment you wouldn’t have to listen to these people trying to convince you of things you had no recollection of. He checks your paperwork, your vitals; he runs some tests on you, like tracking and eye motion, and then tells you that you are free to go.

Your parents leave the room, allowing you to change in clothes that Liam had brought to the hospital for you. Upon finishing, you slowly walk out of the hospital room, tears flooding your eyes as you leave the only place you have ever known, the only place that is the least bit familiar. Your parents meet you and there is a slow procession to the car.

Eventually the vehicle pulls up to a tall apartment building with a light pink front door, flower boxes outside the windows, various flowers and plants cascading out of them. It was like it was a picture taken out of a magazine. You slowly step out of the car, looking around at the peaceful suburban neighborhood in which you have no memory of.

You’re guided through the front door and into a decent sized apartment. You are met instantly by a dog, a dog you didn’t recognize, and even though he was just another example of your lost memory, you instantly found comfort in him. You father jumped in front of you, thinking it might be too much to have this dog all over you, but you drop down to your knees, allowing him to go around your father and you envelope him in your arms.

Eventually you stand and look around the quaint apartment, seeing pictures hanging all over the walls. It was like a wall in a gallery covered in frame filled with people who looked happy. You slowly walk up to them, recognizing yourself in some of them with the boy they call Liam. You both look so happy, engulfed in each other’s arms, smiling doe-eyed at the camera. There’s one where you’re at a carnival, your arms in the air and a look of excitement on your face as Liam hands you a stuffed bear he had just won at a quarter tent. You see pictures of you and the other boys that were in the room when you woke up, the curly haired one, the blonde Irish one, the one with the anchor tattoo and the tall, darker-skinned one. You all look so happy, and you are suddenly angered because you cant remember it; any of it. How could you have been so happy yet remember none of it?

You run up the stairs, the dog following close at your heels, and you look around frantically for an escape, a room that you can just cuddle into and forget your troubles. You fumble with the doorknobs, opening the first door you come to, and rush inside, slamming the door hard, locking it. You throw yourself on to the bed, your head hiding in a pillow and sob. The dog whines and you look up, him placing a couple licks to your face to try and sooth you.

There is a knock on the door a moment later, with a voice that sounds like your mothers. “Y/N, baby, please. Open up.” You hear her plead, but you don’t answer, and instead bury your face in the neck of the dog and cry further, muffling the noises so she can’t hear.

Eventually she leaves, and you wake up groggy from an uncomfortable sleep. You slowly rise, looking in the mirror. You stare back at yourself in contempt as you fix your hair and wipe away from tear tracks from your cheeks. You slowly walk over to the door, unlocking it, and find your way to the kitchen, which is right at the bottle of the stairs. Your father is sitting at the table, a newspaper laid across the table. When he sees you, he stands, but instead of walking towards you, he stays in his spot, afraid that you will be alarmed and run off again if he tries to embrace you.

“Y/N. A-are you hungry?” He asks, eyes downcast, apparent stress and sadness in them. You nod slowly, and sit at the table, anxiously waiting for him to return with food. When he places a bowl of macaroni and cheese in front of you, you eat quickly, forgetting how hungry you truly were. When you finish, you look up at him, and he chuckles, having watched you. You look down, blushing, and smile slightly, shaking your head.

“Would you like some more?” You hear an accented-voice ask, and you look up to see Liam, standing in the corner of the kitchen, in front of what seems to be the back door. His eyes are puffy, his hair a mess, and it seems like he hasn’t slept in awhile.

You nod, looking down, and he comes and retrieves your bowl. As he fills the bowl, your father nods at Liam, slowly standing. He kneels down beside you, and whispers, “I know you don’t remember me, Y/N, but I love you, so very much. Eventually, you will remember. J-Just give us a chance.” He stands upright, placing a small kiss on your forehead, and you smile slightly, nodding.

Liam puts the bowl in front of you and sits where your father did. You pull the bowl towards you, eating slowly this time. You look out of the corner of your eyes at him while you eat, and he stares in to his lap, nervously wiggling his fingers round and round themselves. You eat half of the contents of the bowl, and then place your fork down, running your hand across your face sleepily.

“It was your favorite,” he whispers, still looking down. “I made it for when you woke up.”

“I can see why,” you whisper, looking over at him, “That was-“ you pause slightly, finishing, “That was sweet of you.”

“I-I’m sorry, Liam…for the way I reacted. I was confused” You tear up, “I still am. I don’t know who I am. None of this looks familiar,” you look around the room, and then back down at your lap. You cry now, not holding back the tears any longer. “I don’t remember you. I don’t remember anyone; no matter how hard I try. We looked so-so happy. And now here I am, and I’m tearing this apart.”

He slowly reaches his hand up, taking yours in his. At his touch, you jump slightly, the warmth in his grip sending a bolt of energy through you. And suddenly, you remember sand, lots of sand. And your feet tangled with another’s on a blanket in that sand. You remember water, a beach, and then you remember Liam. You remember sitting there on the blanket, laughing as the boy with the anchor tattoo (Louis? Is that his name?) tries to do a cartwheel, the Irish one falling on his bum laughing.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Y/N,” your memory is interrupted, and you lock eye contact with him, “I’ll make you remember.” He looks at you intensely, as if willing you to believe so, and you nod.

Eventually you look up at him, still finding comfort in his hand in yours. “Liam …” You state.

“Hm?” He mumbled, his eyebrows arching.

“Did we…did we ever go to a beach?” You ask, looking up at him.

Nodding, he replies, “We did. We went all the time. You, the boys and I. We spent so much time there…” He trails off, smiling, recollecting.

“Could you take me?” You whisper eventually, hoping that he would say yes.

He looks up at you, a small smile forming at the corners of this mouth, and stands, pulling you to your feet. You both walk towards the front door, and he takes a coat off the rack for you, holding it out for you to slide your arms in to.

~~~

Stepping out onto the cool sand, you’re suddenly hit with a lifetime of memories, and you stumbled slightly, overwhelmed with the sudden remembrance; remembrance of everything. You recall running away from Liam, giggling, as he chases you with a water gun in the middle of the summer. You remember sitting around a fire, your toes buried in the sand, humming softly as Niall sings some song he’s made up on the fly. You recollect roasting hot dogs on an open fire, swimming in the ocean, entangled in Liam’s grasp. You remember. You remember all of it.

Liam comes around to help you out of the car, as you look at him, a large smile plastered on your face.

“Y/N? What?” He asks, smiling.

You grab his hand, pulling him towards a certain place towards the edge of the sand-line. “Liam.” You smile, “Remember that huge bonfire Harry and I built? Right about here? It was so big you could see it for miles,” your arms extended and you spun in a circle, and then stopped, staring at him, smiling.

Nodding, he replies, “Yeah, I do.” He laughs. “And when Nia-“ His face suddenly contorts, and he cocks his head to the side. He looks at you, flabbergasted, and stumbles over his words. “Y/N…y-you remember?” He asks, barely audible, scared that if he asks it too loud it wont be true.

“I don’t know how it happened.” You whisper. “I didn’t remember a thing, nothing. A-and then I stepped out of the car, and put my feet in the sand, and suddenly I do. I’m swarmed with all of the memories; every moment we’ve ever spent together, here and away. I remember all of it. The bonfires. The songs. The water. Everything Liam” You laugh, shaking your head, and lean forward, your arms wrapping around his neck, “I remember you.”

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inadeepanddarkdecember · 7 years

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[[ this is kinda rambly and piecemeal and out of order since its an edited convo off of discord from before cy’s heart got replaced, but i decided i wanted this Extra Large thalassemia infodump on my blog. go read this primer first for basic info on thal; cyrus’s form is beta thalassemia major. ]]

even with a perfectly healthy and functional heart, cy'd still have a too fast pulse and likely have arrhythmias; that comes with the territory of his anemia, and he could still develop heart failure again later in life. the problem with cy's current heart is that its been scarred to shit by the extra iron in his body from his blood transfusions and hes developed cardiomyopathy as a result, which at this point is virtually guaranteed to kill him before he turns 30, even if he takes perfect care of himself and never develops any other complications from his thalassemia ever (which aint fuckin likely). this failing heart just deals worse with arrhythmias he already has, especially under stress, and already struggles to keep up enough blood pressure.

bone marrow transplants are currently the closest thing to a cure for thalassemia we have and hellll no he has not had that done i doubt hes even on a waiting list. with his shit in the state hes in, its questionable if he'd even survive the process its pretty intense, nevermind the finances and healing and finding a match and even so much as qualifying to have it done.

cyrus goes in for a blood transfusion every three weeks. when transfusion dates get close, within a few days, hes more tired; he doesnt go out; he can be moodier; he can get headaches and dizzy spells. he feels best after a transfusion, then its just a slow decline till the date rolls around again. i tend to rp him within a week or two of being transfused most of the time simply bc its easier to get him out there interacting with people.

sometimes they coincide with transfusion dates, sometimes they don't, but he has longer appointments to check up on his other bodily functions every so often. theres general stuff, looking at his counts, then more specialized appointments to keep an eye specifically on his heart or check up on his liver and other organs as needed.

thalassemia by itself kills a person through not having enough blood to get oxygen around the body; this is solved through blood transfusions. chronic anemia means chronic transfusions. which would be fine! except chronic transfusions cause a build-up of iron in the body, and that shit is toxic and where the more fatal complications tend to stem from for thalassemia patients. also, being anemic means your body thinks it needs iron, so it's prone to absorb more from food than the average person, an added bonus. consequently, there are certain foods cyrus avoids. legumes, dark leafy greens, etc. look up any list of iron-rich foods, and thats a list of shit cyrus ought to be avoiding or indulging rarely. (funnily enough, these lists also are often advertised towards anemic people because those who arent transfused have the opposite problem.) part of his tea drinking habit is because tea inhibits iron absorption, along with he just likes it. coffee works too and he doesnt object to it, but he prefers tea.

another consequence of chronic transfusions is that you end up with a lot of old shitty dead blood cells in your system, and your spleen is left to clean it up. unfortunately, when faced with that much to clean, it can enlarge (splenomegaly) and become overactive (hypersplenism). so it starts removing healthy blood cells too quickly and too early, which can cause the anemic patient to need more blood when being transfused, which risks more iron, and not to mention its generally uncomfortable for the patient with the enlarged spleen. in short, this happened to cyrus, so his spleen has been removed. spleens, however, also play an important role in the immune system, so he was already kinda vulnerable as an anemic, but having no spleen makes him doubly at risk of infections. he takes antibiotics as part of his daily pharmaceutical regime.

during cold and flu season, docs tend to strongly suggest he wear surgical masks during school and whenever hes around a lot of people in public places, but he almost never does. he doesnt like the attention it gets him esp in school, but sometimes he'll do it when hes on public transit or anything. he does carry hand sanitizer with him a lot of the time tho

bc his immune system is fragile, he often goes in-patient for what would be minor sicknesses for us, esp if theres a fever. he tends to be hit hard by them, and being sick can make his counts plummet as his body tries to fight off the disease.

coming back around to iron related bullshit, iron overload is treated by iron chelation, for which there are mainly two medicines, deferoxamine and deferasirox, and cyrus uses the latter because i have never been able to find out enough goddamn information about deferoxamine. deferoxamine is the more common and cheaper of the two medicines; its injected subcutaneously over the course of 8-12 hours and has its own list of side effects and the process itself tends to be kinda painful from the accounts ive read. its done at home, often while the patient sleeps bc... well, when else are you gonna get a child to sit still for 8-12 hours. its definitely the one cyrus was on for a while, when he was younger. bc ive had a hellish time finding info on the pump used for deferoxamine and more about that medicine generally, cy’s currently on deferasirox. slightly different side effects, but otherwise does the same job in pill form.

thalassemia patients who've been cared for properly should be healthier than cyrus is. most patients his age havent had a heart attack already and arent dealing with heart failure, not yet. his parents have always struggled financially to keep up with his medical bills, but there was a time when he was still young that they still thought they could manage if they just worked hard enough. they were too proud to accept help, and he suffered for it. they eventually gave in but even then still struggled to keep up. sometimes a sudden unexpected change in insurance policy would fuck em for a while finanacially. so sometimes they'd not fill a perscription for a while or wait longer than they should to take him in-patient, hoping he might just tough out a cold or smth. sometimes he'd manage to do that and have abysmal blood counts next time he went in, and a couple of times he got so sick he was legit on death's doorstep by the time he got to the hospital and needed way longer to recover. sometimes cyrus would be too fussy about the deferoxamine and they didnt have the energy that night to force him to accept it or he'd turn off the machine himself after they left. not too often, he was pretty good about just accepting it and did most of the time, but it def happened more than a few times. and if it had already been activated, they couldnt reuse it and had to throw the dose out, in which case that was it he skips it no replacement they cant afford it not in the budget.

and because the effects of iron overload are long-term ones for the most part, it was easy to be like "ehh he seems fine for now". like, they knew the risks, but it was hard to see them as anything but so far in the distance as to be irrelevant. cyrus himself isnt great about the whole self-care thing either; his depression has helped nothing. he's been known to just flush or toss pills in a small spiteful act of rebellion, all his parents care about is that hes still alive and their money, and medicine's expensive, so wouldnt it just piss em off to throw it all away. he'll eat foods he shouldnt for similar reasons, along with just the pleasure of it. and sometimes he hits the sort of suicidal low where he just.... doesnt see the point. each dose he takes is a choice to keep living, and sometimes that choice isnt one he wants to make.

no one quite realized how bad he was tho till his first heart attack. he was so young; the docs dont rly know when hes skipping, so they werent watching too closely for the effects of it. and the damage his body took over time was amplified by his frequent stress. the heart and liver are the ones most affected by iron overload; his liver is somewhat damaged too, but thats not too bad yet, not as bad as his heart.

other little thal things: hormone levels can get super fucked. cy's puberty was a bit delayed, and his testosterone levels remain kinda low compared to average, so hes not as hairy as his genetics might otherwise dictate. he will never be able to grow a proper beard; it'll always be way too patchy and uneven. and despite what his touch aversion and other factors like stress and said low testosterone might lead you to believe, hes got a pretty strong sex drive, though he suppresses the hell out of it.

he was homeschooled for his first few years of elementary bc health concerns, but that couldnt be sustained bc of cost. so he rejoined public school since then. i wouldnt be surprised if his peers used his puberty delays against him, but i'd expect they were making fun of him less bc he was a late bloomer and more at his general girlishness, esp since this would also be around the time he was growing out his hair.

he has had people do the "lookit me ive befriended the sad disabled kid arent i good <3" schtick (which esp pisses him off bc its similar to shit melinda pulls) and hes met the people who try to be nice to him for three days then turn a 180 on him when he doesnt immediately cheer up and get all buddy buddy with them. and hence he now treats kindness from strangers with extreme skepticism, suspicion, and aggression. (thomas also feeds into this but ye) it scares off plenty of legitimately nice people who he could have befriended, buuut.

Oh, a couple Fun Facts I forgot to mention. bc anemia, he bruises easy and injuries generally take longer than normal to heal. And in part bc depression and in part bc meds are prone to fucking with his appetite, either killing it entirely or just making him nauseated, he tends to not eat enough and is kind of underweight. Melinda put him in charge of dinner most nights as part of a genuine good faith effort to ensure he's getting at least one good meal and get him home when he's supposed to be.

#meta #fun fact #medical #there are so many little ways his disorder has shaped his life #even if they dont appear too obviously when im writing him in actual threads #suicide mention #thalassemia

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