#complete truth

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[applebees4prez]

riz being aroace as well as fabian’s gay awakening is the only correct option but also the funniest one. this loser (affectionate) is obsessed with you but in somehow the most platonic way possible and there’s a second where you think he might like guys and has even dated one but nope it’s the manifestation of his fears of his total lack of romantic attraction. meanwhile girls are asking YOU why you always bring HIM up and you can’t face the fact that you are actually just as obsessed with him because you are just afraid of your sexuality as he is of his. crazy.

#i’m so obsessed with fabriz in this specific way #THEYRE SO BEST FRIENDS I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC #and yeah there is a little something there but it’s completely onesided #oops! #GAYBIAN TRUTHING #gay fabian seacaster #gaybian #fabian seacaster #fabian aramais seacaster #aroace riz gukgak #riz gukgak #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #dimension 20 #d20

[neurotraum]

was going through files on my laptop and I came across inktober 2021

#old stuff #like it's inktober 2021 #what a madness I completed everything then #fma #edward elric #alphonse elric #winry rockbell #roy mustang #rose thomas #envy #truth #ink #fanart #traditional art #my art

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking. #nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference #anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose. #isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat act 6 spoilers #isat loop #isat siffrin #isat bonnie #isat nille #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #doodlebyte #---------------------------------------------------------------------- #anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!) #which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around) #and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but #They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt) #and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good #(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit #distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally #stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine) #the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly. #but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief) #as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur #BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule #which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation #ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.

[drugstorecowgirlss]

I’m not the poison other people are

#Thoughts #complete truth

[birdricks]

the final phrase of my last sentence / hangs in the air, sounding stupider and stupider

#THE LINK IS MY BIRDRICK PLAYLIST. LISTEN TO IT PLEASEEEEE #rick and morty #birdrick #rick sanchez #rick c137 #oh my GOD i struggled w the colours on this one. im SOOOO bad at colours man 😭😭😭😭😭 bane of my life #idgaf if this isnt how it happened in the actual scene. imagery over truth #if it bothers u ummm imagine its a dream or smth. #had to take dreadful reference pics of myslef for this. worth it #i might change the playlist art at some point to smth more fitting but idgaf i just want to show ppl now #and ive wanted to draw this for a whileee now lol #BUT YEAHHHHH. LISTEN TO MY PLAYLIST BOY #artsbotz #oh my god ok im not makinga ny more tiny edits. POST #COMPLETELY FORGOT TO TALK ABT THE PLAYLIST LOL #urmm hopefully its kinda clear which pov each song is. except a few kinda mixed ones #it goesssss all the way from them meeting up until like. s5 ending kinda #apologies again for all the csh. youll have to cope im afraid #its vital listening. listen to twin fantasy btw. btw

[scribz-ag24]

I wonder if Grovyle's comment about himself not trusting people easily was refering to him not trusting hero and partner with a bit of crucial information.

#been thinking about grovyle's relationship with hero and partner today #when in the cliff sunrise scene he says partner's love for hero is like the one grovyle felt........i wonder if thats when he realized #he couldnt tell them the full truth... #pmd2 #grovyle #dusknoir #pmd hero #pmd partner #my art #fr the fact he could never open up completely to hero and partner. not enough time. not enough confidence in them agreeing to disappear. #but then him opening up to dusknoir......maybe the first person he opens up to since celebi #(let me be im being delusional)

[liyv]

is this what you wanted?

#bsd spoilers #bsd #dazai osamu #art tag #tw blood #tw injury #ohhhhhhhhhhhh 109 made me so crazy ive been chewing on bricks all month #like we have the old setup thats like: 1. dazai wants to die and 2. chuuya wants to kill him but in truth its now more like #1. dazai wants to live hes trying to live and 2. chuuya could never of his own volition harm dazai #& then 109 takes them at their worse & takes away all of their power & agency & story up until now #& gives them EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT #but its not true! we've moved past this ending! #so now we get 1. what they want(ed) isnt something they couldve ever achieved by their own will (SAD) & #2. maybe now they realize they want for smth else? (HOPEFUL) & their arc goes from there #<- completely delusional btw. #bungou stray dogs

[moldinfez]

thank you carpenter brut track in the team bolas playlist i finally finished this piece

#the truth i started it for my one piece au i love completely in my head but i cant describe it fully rn so nvm #philza minecraft #philza fanart #team bolas #qsmp philza #artists on tumblr #fanart #qsmp fanart #ah some memories #mcyt fanart #art

[jojo-schmo]

I wish I could tell the original artist that this drawing permanently changed the entire direction of my life in 2009. I want to shake their hand, look them in the eye, and admit I would not be who I am today if this drawing didn’t exist.

EDIT: Original artist is @ivynajspyder !!!!

#‘but jojo’ you ask. ‘that seems a little ridiculous’ #‘don’t you think that’s a little much?’ #no. NO. IT IS THE TRUTH. #little baby middle schooler jojo had just gotten squeak squad. the first kirby game she ever owned. #and she loved it even tho there’s a lot she didn’t understand #like who dedede was supposed to be or why copy abilities existed #I asked for the game because my roommate at swim camp had it and she told me the plot of the game when I looked over her shoulder to watch #(the plot she told me was completely made up btw she said kirby had to save the dimension from dark overlord and did not mention the squeak #and said stuff about meta knight being a bad guy idk I realize now she was just weaving a tale of her own haha) #SO I WAS NOT AWARE OF THE LORE. I had only played the one game and it’s the one people don’t like the plot of #but meta knight completely intrigued me #what was this blue sword wielding little kirby dude doing here?? #so I’d replay his boss fight over and over again just to get that glimpse at his face #and I’d sit and wonder what it all meant. who was this mysterious swordsman?? #and the boss fight was hard!!! it cost me to beat it at the time but I’d still do it to see his face #AND THEN AFTER LIKE A YEAR OF THIS it occurred to me that there was a kirby wiki online #so I found all the pictures of his face and my little fangirl-raised-by-deviantart mind ATE THIS UP. #and then I look up that one fateful google search……… the one that changed me #meta. #knight. #maskless. #and this drawing was towards the top of the results #I went feral about a fandom related topic for the very very first time #I lost my MIND. HOW can a character be so cute AND COOL??! I was a changed child. #I consumed the hoshi no kaabii anime like it was the only piece of media on earth #I drew comics about him. I made my first kirby oc ever to go on a grand adventure on him. #I filled my notebooks with kirby art to the point my mom was like ‘jossie. you REALLY need to branch out. these are just orbs.’ #and now I am the kirby artist I am today. so yes. YES. this drawing did change my life. #thanks for reading. and thanks to the original artist. I tried to find them to link but nothing. so if you know pls tell me #THE END!!! and remember! your art makes a difference in people’s lives even if they don’t say it to your face!!!!

[basketobread]

i think today is the day where i will finally attempt to create a durge oc…

#just need to finish up some comms and get the sketches complete for two others and BOOM #free time for me to durge it up in here #truth be told i already made the character in game but #i have to translate him into my art style :) #wont play his campaign until later tho cuz i have lunaras first HAHA #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bob talks

[whaliiwatching]

those trinkets from his beau really stand out in his world

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #noirpunk #inspired by my friend who makes and gives away patches like free hugs #noir loves them. bit hard to explain to his completely monochrome universe though #i think punk is a derogatory term in the 1930s?? but it’s ok noir knows the truth #the splashes of color on this grayscale man with zero facial features.. priceless #his favorite other than the waistcoat pin is the rainbow #not because he understands literally any of the colors though

[anotherdescentintomadness]

The Sunflower and His Sun

Painted for a lovely moot on Xitter

#yizhan #boxiao #fanart #wang yibo #Xiao Zhan #my art #digital artwork #there’s something so tragic and beautiful about the naked look of pained adoration on his face #like he promised himself that he’d never turn away from any truth written on his person #even if it hurt him to look #but then this expression #as if he would be unable to look away #even if he wanted to #like a sunflower turning toward the sun #they don’t have a choice #just automatically turning toward that thing that gives them life #and loving it completely #ughhhh #i love them your honor

[sleepy-bebby]

#We Should All Know Less About Each Other #we live in a society #memes #meme #funny #funny memes #lol #truth #facts #opinion #every other day I’m being forced fed completely worthless info about a celebrity or politician I don’t give a shit about on my newsfeed #why should I care what the dead queen’s favourite breakfast is

[canisalbus]

Look, I know it's supposed to end badly. But I need to admit that in my head, they declared a mutual "fuck this shit" to the world and society. Packed all the stuff they could one late night and escaped to a remote open plain in the middle of some thick woods where they spent the rest of their lives healing and living freely in nature.

I've been having a lot of intense feelings about them as well. The tragical elements are so baked in to their story and setting, it's hard to imagine a happy ending for them. But every now and then I find myself thinking of scenarios and AUs where they both live and grow old together. For coping purposes, I suppose.

#for real though I've had several crying sessions over them during the past couple of weeks I'm not kidding #that's how you know you've perhaps gotten a little too emotionally invested in your characters #two entirely fictional dog men whose fates I have complete control over have reduced me to shambles #the unfortunate truth is that from a storytelling point the whole thing works better as a tragedy #the sadness makes the happy moments more significant and the happy moments feel bittersweet because of the sadness #for all intents and purposes they're classic star-crossed lovers #neither of them have done anything to justify such a wretched end though and I just want good things for them #I think I might have to come up with an alternate ending where Machete has the sense and chance to resign before it's too late #and move to Florence to be closer to Vasco #or maybe they both go back to Venice where they originally met that might be nice #maybe not realistic but it'd be nice #answered #dragonfoxgirl

[fake-destiel-news]

Here’s one clip of it

Edit: for some reason the sound doesn’t work but here’s the Source

#why would she do that??? #Amy Schumer #john mulaney #stand up comedy #comedy #snl #plagiarism #news #fake-destiel-news #destiel meme #meme #unreality #this is fake news #truth: ​this is completely made up and only based on the fact that Amy Schumer has stolen jokes before #the video is also faked/ I just put John mulaney subtitles over her standup