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clementine-writes-things · 19 days

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Cara Mia - E.N

(This is about Paul Dano's Riddler, welcome Dano stans, welcome to my sinful blog and prepare for filthy and in-depth writing <3 if you're new here, all you need to know is that we LOVE including music in our fanfics and we LOVE realistic/detailed writing <3 you'll see what I mean and you'll love it sweetie)

Summary: Y/n and Edward were old friends who grew up in the same orphanage together. Not liking the person he is becoming, she tries to get him to find other ways to defend Gotham's civilians. Strangely, she succeeds in this. But, Edward still wants to show them how confident he has gotten since they last saw each other. (crappy summary, just read this post lol.)

Word count (everything below cut): 14,462 (GUYS WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED I THINK I WENT INTO A TRANCE WRITING THIS THING?! WHY IS IT 5 YEARS LONG!? PLEASE DON'T LET THIS FLOP I'LL MOVE TO ANTARTICA IF IT DOES I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS!!!)

Content Warning: AFAB!Reader, she/they pronouns (using mostly she for easier narrative purposes but Edward refers to y/n as they), non-binary reader, queer reader, mentions of homophobia, body dysmorphia, gender dysmorphia, transphobia, explicit language, panic attack, mentions of cigarettes, slowburn smut, penetration, mocking during sex, degrading/humiliation, praising, power play, ROUGH sex, slapping, dom!Edward, obsessed!Edward, sub!Reader, threats of violence directed towards y/n, angst, mentions of gore and murder, y/n is an artist in this <3, breaking in (ed breaks in to y/n's apartment), ed gets angry a lot, aftercare.

Songs for Inspo: (highly recommend you listen while reading (not in any particular order tbh)) bro i spent like 30 minutes finding the PERFECT songs that gave off the vibes I wanted Edward to have in this fic...pls appreciate D:

Aleph - Gesaffelstein

Anarchy - KMFDM

Something In The Way - Nirvana (not bc it was in the movie, it's just so aesthetically pleasing for this type of fic)

THIRST FOR ME! - Lumi Athena

YOU'RE TOO SLOW (Bonus) - Odetari

all I want is you - Rebzyyx, hoshie star

NALGOTICA! - Lumi Athena

Daydream In Blue - I Monster

MONTAGEM - PR FUNK - S3BZS

Lacrimosa - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Y/n's songs:

mos thoser - food house

Ride - Sir-Mix-A-Lot

ecstasy (slowed) - SUICIDAL-IDOL

~*Read Below Cut*~

"Uh, yeah may I have an iced coffee please? With almond milk please."

The customer handed over a 10 dollar bill. Y/n smiled from behind the counter, nodding her head. She entered the purchase and gave the customer their change. Y/n's hair was put back in a ponytail that stuck out of her work visor. Going to grab a cup, she stopped, laughing softly. Turning to the customer, she tilted her head.

"Sorry, Ms. Andrews, what size did you want? I know you usually get a grande, but I just want to make sure." She asked politely.

The older woman, near her mid 40's chuckled. She swatted her slender hand at y/n playfully. Her nails were painted a bright pink with white polka dots, a suggestion from y/n herself. Earlier last week Ms. Andrews had asked for an idea of what to paint her nails. Y/n told her to go big and bold, have some fun! And, that's exactly what she did.

"Oh, y/n you are so kind. A grande is fine as always." She smiled.

Y/n nodded, grabbing the clear cup and scooping some ice into it. The woman placed a 5 dollar bill in the tip jar, which caused y/n to grin dorkily. It was only her working tonight, so she really appreciated the gratuity. Especially coming from one of her favorite customers.

"So, almond milk? What happened to oat? Are you trying something different?" She asked, making light conversation as she made the drink.

"Oh, nothing like that. I really love oatmilk in my coffee, but I find that it upsets my stomach. It's a shame really."

"Aw, well almond milk is a good choice!" Y/n replied cheerfully.

Placing the drink down, the woman smiled at her. Yawning, she covered her mouth with her hand. Y/n chuckled at the sight, wiping down the counter once Ms. Andrews took her drink. The smell of the cleaner filled the air, mixing with strong coffee beans and fruity mixtures. It was pungent, but the ceiling fan helped distribute it and filter it out.

"Get home safe, y/n. Gotham isn't safe for anyone, let alone a sweet person like you." The woman warned.

Y/n nodded at Ms. Andrews. Focusing back down to the counter, she waved good bye to the woman, watching out of the corner of her eye as she left the shop. Sighing, y/n rubbed a bead of sweat off of her forehead. She groaned, looking up at the clock. It was 11:55 p.m. Her shift ended in 5 minutes, and everything was all clean except for the utensils she just used. Getting right to work, she began to clean the dishes, zoning out as she did so. Thoughts of her childhood raced through her head, causing her to feel somber. It wasn't much of a childhood, growing up in an orphanage. But, she did have one friend.

"Eddie, I don't know the answer! Give me Sir Clawdius back!" Y/n groaned.

Edward, being taller than her by a few inches already, stood on top of a bucket. In his hands was y/n's teddy bear, well, the orphanage's teddy bear. Y/n decorated it however, giving it a makeshift crown made out of pipe cleaners, glue, and those colorful puffy cotton balls. Sticking his tongue out, he blew a raspberry at y/n.

"Nah uh! You gotta answer the riddle!" He explained.

"Ugh, fine! What was it again?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest in a pout.

The two of them, being 11 years old at the time, looked like bickering 5 year olds. Edward had met y/n in the orphanage when they were 7, and they quickly became close friends. Y/n was always the hyper one who got into trouble easily, and Edward was the one who tried to help her wiggle her way out of it. He was definitely the smarter one out of the duo.

"What do you call a bear with no teeth?" He asked, waving the bear in the air.

"Be careful with him, he's a delicate soul!" She whined.

He chuckled awkwardly, holding it still above his head. Y/n looked at the ground, thinking hard about the riddle. She knew that it wasn't that hard, but she always had a difficult time with riddles. Perhaps, it was just because she was under pressure. Her eyes widened, snapping her fingers and bouncing up and down lightly.

"A gummy bear!" She giggled.

Jumping down, Edward handed her Sir Clawdius. Smiling, she grabbed the bear and held it close to her chest. Edward gave her a thumbs up, a big grin on his face.

"Hey, you're getting better, sketcher!" He cheered.

Y/n giggled when he called her that. The nickname was stupid, not making any sense to anyone else but them. The shoes that she wore all the time were sketchers, and she loved to draw. So, Edward, being a genius, came up with that intelligent nickname. The two of them both agreed it wasn't the most clever, but they both liked it either way. So, it stuck.

"Well, you give me lots of opportunities to improve, Riddles." She chuckled.

The dishes were all dry and put away as she finished thinking about her old friend. She still had a hard time believing that the little boy he once was was now planning the demise of Gotham. It was definitely jarring, and it was obvious that it was him. She knew Edward well, no one ever loved riddles as much as he did. If someone did, then that would be the day that pigs flew.

"Time to lock up..." She sighed.

Grabbing her tote bag, she hung it on her shoulder. She turned all of the lights off and made sure everything was put away and turned off. Once she was done, she grabbed the lanyard attached to her pants and locked the backdoor. She set the alarm for the building and quickly made her way out, locking the front door behind her. Shivering, she started to walk down the street, lucky that she only lived a block away. Snow fell down from the sky, landing on her eyelashes, disappearing once she blinked them away.

"Fucking shit it's cold out here." She mumbled to herself, rubbing her hands together.

She sped up her walking pace, ignoring how much her feet hurt from standing behind the counter all night. Not only did she want to get out of the bone-chilling cold, but she also wanted to get out of the streets of Gotham at night. Especially so close to the Narrows. No part of Gotham was safe, but the closer to the Narrows you got, the more dangerous it became. Y/n's mouth stretched out, forming an 'O' as she yawned harshly. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes, blinking them away rapidly.

"God, I'm fucking tired. Thankfully, it's Friday! This bitch doesn't work weekends for a reason." She quietly cheered.

Turning the corner, she sighed in relief when her apartment building came into view. Speeding up even more, she went inside of it, feeling like someone was watching her as she did so. Shrugging it off, she made her way up the stairs until she reached the floor she resided on. Reaching her door, she unlocked it and stepped inside, closing and locking it behind her. Standing still for a few moments, she dropped her tote bag on the table next to the door. She was too lazy to put it anywhere else. Groaning, she walked into her bedroom, stripping herself of her work clothes immediately. She made quick work of getting a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie on, humming to herself when the warmth of the fabric embraced her body. Not feeling fully 'swaddled', y/n slid on a pair of fluffy socks as well. She felt like a sheep who desperately needed it's wool to be shaved off. And, after walking in that cold, she was totally ok with that feeling.

'bing!'

Y/n grabbed her phone off of her bed, tossing it there when she was changing. Turning it on, the light illuminated her face as she read the notification. She pinched the bridge of her nose, groaning as she did so. Pushing the notification, she entered her pin number and grumbled to herself as a livestream opened.

"Hello, my loyal followers! Apologies, for such a late livestream..." Edward announced.

Y/n rolled her eyes, immediately typing in chat. She did not watch his livestreams because she believed in what he was doing. Well, she agreed with his thoughts, that corruption was taking over Gotham and that a change needed to be made. But, it was how exactly he was doing it that she didn't agree with. Plotting murders, wanting to blow up the sea walls, seeking attention from The Batman. He had not done any of these things yet, thankfully. But, just the fact that he had been planning and discussing it was disturbing to her. It was insane. Her fingers typed away, almost as if they knew what they needed to do without her brain telling them. However, she knew what would happen if she sent the message. But, she needed to. She wanted to get through to him.

'Riddles, you've got to stop this. You're taking this too far. There are better ways in which you can advocate for Gotham. And you know it. Seeing you like this breaks my heart. It's getting hard to watch these livestreams. - Sketcher.'

Edward, who was in the middle of talking, fell silent almost immediately. Y/n saw his eyes dart around behind his glasses, reading the message. He panted slightly, shaking his head vigorously. Scoffing, y/n shook her head as well, knowing what was about to happen.

"You don't understand! This is the ONLY way! We experienced this cities torment first hand! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY! Why don't you trust me, Sketch? Hm? All of my noble followers trust me. They KNOWWWW I can bring JUSTICE for them!" He shouted, his voice frantic and borderline desperate.

'God, someone find that buzzkill and kill them already...'

Edward's eyes widened as he read that chat. Y/n chuckled lightly, placing her phone on her bed, preparing for the tantrum that was about to ensue. Grabbing a hairbrush off her nightstand, she started to brush her hair, listening to her old friend scream.

"If you do that, I WILL know. And I WILL FIND YOU AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! I WILL FLAAAAY YOUR BODY AND SHOVE YOUR PEELED SKIN DOWN YOUR THROAT!" He shouted, his voice peaking in the livestream.

For the past few weeks, y/n had been watching his live streams. Every time he had one, she would leave a message, and he became obsessed with proving himself to her. In his mind, y/n was the one person who didn't believe in him. She was the one person he really needed validation from. Y/n sighed, placing the brush down. Quickly, she typed a response and hit send. Edward's eyes immediately scanned it, ignoring everyone else in the chat. His priority was y/n. He read the message out loud quietly.

"I'm going to bed now, it's been a long day. I'm starting to give up on you. You're not the same person you we- WHAT?!?! IS ANOTHER DAY IN YOUR BORING BLAND LIFE TOO DIFFICULT FOR YOU? I AM THE SAME PERSON I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN! THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS I HAVE FOUND MY PURPOSE!!!!!" He screamed once again, causing y/n to laugh.

Even though this was sad for her to witness, it was amusing to see him throw his tantrums. Steam was practically blowing out of his ears. If y/n was anyone else, she would be scared to death right now. But, she was y/n. She was Sketcher. And, even though Edward had changed a lot over the years, one thing would always remain the same. He would never hurt her. Y/n knew that Edward knew where she lived, and he has never once tried to go to her house. Though, y/n did worry about that every now and then. Not because she was worried he would hurt her, but because she didn't know if she could handle seeing her old friend so different.

"DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE! YOU are my INSPIRATION! My MUSE!" He exclaimed, laughing at the end of his sentence.

She scoffed, exiting the livestream. Once she did this, and Edward noticed, his face fell flat. The chat kept filling up with messages, but he just ignored them. When the chat got too overwhelming, he just ended the livestream without saying anything. He paced his room, back and forth, muttering to himself. Y/n still didn't understand him, even after preaching his cause every time she joined a livestream. He ripped his mask off, tossing it on his bed. His breathing got heavy as he started to hyperventilate. His chest heaved, causing him to stop pacing and sit down. Edward gripped at his hair, tugging lightly. When his breathing slowed down, he put his glasses back on, grabbing them from off of the floor. Sighing deeply, he cleared his throat and stood up.

"I need to see her in person. If I explain it in person, she'll understand. She has to. She has to understand!"

Frustrated, Edward got ready for bed. He was tired, and glad that he didn't have to work tomorrow. His eyes grew heavy as his head hit the pillow, drifting off into sleep as he thought of ways to show y/n that what he was trying to do was a good thing. That it was for her.

Y/n sat up in her bed, arms stretching out slowly as she yawned. A long and exaggerated groan left her throat as she rubbed her eyes, sleep in the corners of them. Looking outside of the window next to her bed, she watched as snow fell down, covering the railing of the fire escape. Y/n held her hand up to her face, breathing into it. She grimaced, displeased with her morning breath. Getting out of her bed, she slid on her slippers which were one of those animal kinds. She found unicorn ones at a store and just had to buy it. However, they seemed bland to her. So, she decided to make two fake cigarettes using some felt and cotton, sewing them to the unicorns mouth on each slipper. Y/n didn't even smoke cigarettes, she just thought it would be funny. And it was. So, mission accomplished.

"Shit, it's getting so cold out lately. It's Spring for fuck sake." She grumbled, going to the kitchen.

Opening her fridge, she scanned over her options. She didn't have much food, as she needed to do some grocery shopping. But, she did have enough to last her a couple more days. Sighing, she grabbed some leftover pizza from the other day and decided that it was the best thing she had for breakfast options. Well, she had other options, she just didn't want to cook anything. She planned on being a lazy shit today, and she was going to do exactly that. Placing the slice of pizza on a plate, she put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. While she waited, she took her daily medication, drinking the pills down with juice because if she used water she could taste the gross medicine. A beeping signaled that the pizza was warmed up.

"I'm so hungry..." She said, stomach growling.

She grabbed the pizza from the microwave, recoiling slightly because it was hotter than she expected. Apparently, 30 seconds was too much time. She would take note of that for future use. As if she had been starved for two weeks straight, y/n ate the pizza hungrily. Sighing, she washed the plate and dried it before putting it away again. Rubbing her eyes once again, she got rid of any remaining sleep that crusted in her eyes.

"Ok, time to relax."

'bing!'

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me..." She mumbled.

Picking up her phone, she walked to the bathroom in her bedroom. She pushed the notification and propped it against her mirror as she grabbed her toothbrush. Edward, well, his persona at least, appeared on screen. His trademark green mask underneath a pair of clear glasses. Y/n shook her head softly, applying toothpaste to her brush before wetting it under the faucet. As Edward said hello to the people joining, y/n started to brush her teeth. Honestly, she had no idea why she joined the livestream. Perhaps it was her naivety that made her think he could change, but she still wanted to believe. Even if it wasn't looking so positive for her.

"Greeting, my loyalists. Your savior is here." He said flamboyantly.

Y/n rolled her eyes, spitting the mixture of water, spit, and toothpaste out of her mouth into the sink. She turned the water on, washing it down the drain. She rinsed her toothbrush off, putting it back where she got it from. Moving her head under the water, she took a small sip, swirling it in her mouth before spitting it out.

"He thinks he's royalty or some shit. It's so fucking annoying." She grumbled, grabbing her mouthwash.

Y/n decided not to text anything in the stream today, not wanting to deal with a tantrum again. She took a swig of the mouthwash, swishing it in her mouth. The strong mint smell and taste filled her senses, causing her eyes to water and mouth to burn slightly. Not able to handle it much longer, she spat it out. She rinsed out the sink once again, drying her hands afterwards. Y/n brought the hand towel up to her face, wiping off excess toothpaste.

"Sketcher. I know you're in here. Why aren't you saying anything?" He asked in a low tone, eyes narrowing behind his glasses.

Y/n brought the towel away from her face, hanging it back up on the hook next to the mirror. She picked up her phone, walking out of the bathroom and turning the light off behind her.

"Are you ignoring me?" His voice was hoarse, a hint of confusion lacing his question.

Y/n groaned, plopping herself down on the couch. She didn't want to listen to him anymore. He was becoming obsessed with her. Though, he had been acting like that since she watched his very first livestream. Part of y/n knew that it was because he wanted to prove himself to her, although she had no idea why. And another part of y/n knew, or at least believed, that Ed missed their friendship. To be fair, she missed their friendship too. It didn't necessarily end, more so evolved into something more. The two of them got an apartment together when they were forced to leave the orphanage after turning 18. It was difficult, but they managed. Living together caused them to share many life-changing moments of each other's lives together. Y/n remembered them so fondly, and she was sure Edward did too. However, one key moment stood out to y/n a lot more than all the other memories.

~ TW: gender dysmorphia, body dysmorphia.~

"Y/n, I'm back from work. They kept me late and wouldn't even explain to me why. Just wanted me to work longer, I suppose. But, at least I still got paid!" Edward said, walking in the front door of the apartment and locking it behind him.

He turned around, looking at the living room in the center of their apartment. His eyebrows furrowed as he didn't see y/n. Placing his keys in the bowl on the table next to the door, he hummed to himself. Removing his coat, he hung it up on the rack and removed his shoes.

"Are you in here?" He called out, slightly louder than before.

"Y-Yeah." Y/n responded, faintly.

Edward, who was looking at the door to her room, moved his sight to his door. Y/n's voice came from behind it, which confused him. Walking towards his door, he knocked on it lightly.

"Uh, why are you in my room?" He asked.

"Oh, I thought I lost my ph-phone charger in here. But, it's not in here." She answered.

Edward turned the doorknob, sighing in frustration as it didn't budge. He leaned up against his doorframe, shoulder resting on the surface. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked down and saw her shadow move in the light that emitted from the gap of the door.

"Why is the door locked?" He asked bluntly.

Y/n didn't answer. Instead they stepped away from the door. Not sure what to do or say, she tried to pick up the mess she had made. Edward knew how to pick locks, thanks to growing up in an orphanage and trying to sneak dessert constantly. He would get inside eventually, and she didn't want him to see anything. Edward grimaced from behind the door, grabbing a bobby pin from his pocket. He tended to fidget a lot at work and he liked to play with a bobby pin. It was strange, but he found it soothing. He made swift work of picking the lock, which wasn't hard since it was not a complex lock at all. Opening the door, he pushed it open all the way, standing in the middle of it. Y/n froze, arms full of Edward's clothing, wearing one of his tank tops and a pair of his jeans. A bright red hue covered her cheeks as she made eye contact with her friend. At first, Edward just thought y/n was playing a light prank on him, just like they did in the orphanage. But, her eyes were watery and puffy. Her bottom lip was pulled down in a soft frown.

"Y/n? What are you doing?" He asked softly.

Y/n grabbed a blanket off of Edward's bed and pulled it over herself. Her figure under the blanket shook softly as she tried to contain soft sobs. Edward was perplexed by the scene before him, unsure of what to make of it.

"Don't look at me! Please, just get out!" She cried softly.

Edward, who was still standing in the doorway, walked over to her. He knelt down, reaching out to grab the blanket. Y/n scooted away, feeling his hand brush against the fabric. Edward slowly pulled his hand away. He sighed, looking around his room, hoping to get an understanding of what was happening. Y/n was known to have a few episodes regarding her childhood trauma, but they were nothing like this. They were never like this. This was very different. And Edward hated the feeling of not knowing what was wrong with his friend. His eyes landed on a few pieces of y/n's clothing, which he assumed is what she wore before. The rest of the clothes on the floor were his own.

"Why are you wearing my clothes?" He asked.

Y/n sniffled, poking her head out from under the blanket. Edward looked into her eyes, feeling his heart throb at her sad appearance. She sighed softly, removing the blanket from her entire body. Edward looked over her, other than the fact that she was wearing his clothes, nothing was out of the ordinary. Except...

Y/n covered her chest with her arms, trying to make it look like she was casually crossing her arms. Edward's eyes narrowed. The two of them were extremely close, and none of them were worried about the other looking at them in a creepy way. So, the fact that y/n was purposefully covering her chest set off some alarms in Edward's head. He paused for a moment, and then it clicked. Softly, he grabbed y/n's arms, pulling them away from her chest. He looked at it, noticing an extremely big difference. Y/n started to cry, hiding her face from him. Edward didn't look at his best friend's chest a lot. Not ever. He wasn't a creep. But, he knew that y/n was fairly heavy in the chest. And right now, she wasn't. He grabbed the bottom of his tank top that she was wearing, looking to her for permission. She didn't make eye contact with him, but Edward took her silence as confirmation. Lifting it up, he immediately winced. Y/n was not wearing a bra. Instead, her breasts were crudely duct-taped to her chest. The tape went around her entire chest, around her back, and connected in one loop, overlapping multiple times. The duct-tape dug into her skin harshly.

"Y/n..." He trailed.

"It hurts, Eddie..." She sobbed.

"I need to get this off of you." He stated, standing up.

Y/n reached out, grabbing his arm.

"No. I d-don't want to see th-em..." She choked.

He looked down at her, feeling his heart shatter. Edward already had a pretty good understanding of what happened while he was gone. But, that comment was what really set it in stone for him. He sighed, squatting back down and looking her in the eyes.

"You don't have to. But, I need to get this off of you." He said.

Y/n sniffled, wiping tears away from under her eyes. She nodded, pulling her knees to her chest as Edward grabbed some scissors from the kitchen. He felt stupid in this moment, not knowing exactly what to do. And, he always knew what to do. Panicking, he grabbed a bottle of aloe vera from the medicine cabinet and anti-bacterial ointment, just in case the duct tape broke her skin. Hurriedly, he went back in his room and placed the items on his bed. He bent over and picked y/n up, placing her on the bed as well. Edward got on his knees in front of her, noticing that she was avoiding eye contact with him. He grabbed the pair of scissors, placing a comforting hand on her knee.

"I will not look, y/n. I promise." He reassured.

Y/n nodded softly, a tear rolling down her cheek. Edward frowned, looking at the duct tape and trying to figure out where to start. Sighing, he looked at the part of y/n's cleavage that provided a gap to cut at. Using the scissors, he snipped a line down the middle before placing the scissors back on the bed. Just like he promised, he looked away as he lightly began to pull at the tape, wincing every time y/n flinched.

"Are you going to tell me why exactly you did this to yourself?" He asked, his voice undeniably stern.

Y/n looked out the window, Edward following her gaze as he continued to pull gently at the tape. She shrugging slightly, not sure of what to say. There was no way to say it other than to be blunt. But, she couldn't bring herself to be blunt.

"I don't like how I...I don't like my...I just wish..." She fumbled.

Edward listened, allowing her to take as much time as she needed. He ripped off a piece of duct tape slowly, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it on the floor. Y/n watched him throw it, lip trembling as she did so.

"I don't hate how I look. I like how I look. I just, there are some parts..." She sighed.

Edward nodded, removing another piece of duct tape. He kept his eyes way from her now revealed chest, moving on to her side. Y/n groaned, holding her head in her hands. This position made it harder for Ed to remove the tape, but he didn't say anything.

"I was born a girl, I know that. And, I like being feminine. I love it, actually. But, I don't feel like I'm just a girl...I don't want to be." Her voice was weak and shaky.

"Do you feel like one certain gender?" He asked, trying to help her navigate her feelings.

"No. I just feel like...me." She answered.

"Alright. Well, what are you?"

Y/n paused, looking down at the ground. She hadn't really thought about it before. It never really crossed her mind. But, now she was really thinking about it.

"I don't really want to be labeled as anything. I want to look feminine. But, I don't want people to think I'm just a girl. I don't feel like I'm just a girl. I don't know how to explain..." She sighed.

Edward removed the last bit of the duct tape off of her skin. Y/n shivered, her bare chest exposed. But, she was too numb to even care. Edward made sure he averted his eyes the entire time. He used some of the aloe vera and rubbed it into her red and irritated skin. Y/n hissed at the cold touch.

"I think, you explained it perfectly. As long as that is exactly what you feel. You're feelings in this situation are the only ones that matter. I just want you to know that I support you through whatever decision you make. Full heartedly."

Once Edward finished applying the aloe vera, he got up from off the ground. He walked over to his closet, grabbing something out of it. He looked at it for a little while, thinking to himself. Humming, he walked back over to y/n and handed the object to her, looking into her eyes the entire time.

"We can get a binder for you, if you'd like. I know it doesn't really work too well, but you can use this in the meantime." He said.

Y/n took the object and smiled when she realized what it was. It was a back brace. It was small enough to cover her chest. It wasn't the perfect size, but she appreciated whatever she could get. She put it on immediately, struggling only a little bit.

"Thank you..."

Edward tossed one of his shirts to her and watched as y/n caught it. She slid it on, smiling at how baggy it was. Ed smiled as well, giving her a pair of sweatpants too. Y/n looked at him curiously, her head tilting to the side.

"If you ever want to wear my clothes because it makes you feel more comfortable, you don't have to ask or be sneaky about it. You're welcome to wear whatever you need."

The meaningful memory made y/n tear up. He was so understanding about what she was going through. And, when she figured out who she really was, he was extremely supportive. Edward had immediately ask y/n what their pronouns were, to which she said she/they. Y/n said she didn't mind if people referred to her as she, but they was what they truly preferred. And ever since that day, he referred to y/n as they. Coming out as non-binary to their friend was easy because of how supportive he was. And then, the two of them started to date. Y/n remembered their first time with Edward. The two of them wanted it to be special. Their first time was vanilla, not wanting to take it too far. But, every time after that got hotter and hotter and kinkier and kinkier. Eventually, the two of them knew about all of their partner's kinks and turn ons. And, y/n was surprised to learn about how kinky Edward was.

"Oh fuck, Edward!" Y/n moaned, their fingers gripping at his hair tightly.

Their naked bodies were entwined with each other on his bed. Edward was normally a shy and reserved guy, but in the bedroom he was an entirely different person. He pulled away from biting on y/n's neck, licking a stripe from her neck to her chin. Y/n whined, bucking her hips upwards. Chuckling, Edward gripped their hips and slammed them against the bed. His dick was inside them, staying perfectly still.

"I know how desperately you want me to fuck you, but I expect you to have some control over your desires. If you can't be patient for it, then do you truly deserve it, chéri?" He teased.

Y/n moaned, they loved it when Edward would speak French. It was a language he taught himself in the orphanage, along with Italian and Latin. He sounded so suave when he talked in those languages.

"I'm so-orry..." Y/n pouted, trying their best to keep still.

Edward leaned his head back, letting out a sigh as he felt her tighten around him. His eyes squinted as he made a 'tsk' sound. Looking back down on her, Edward held onto their waist gently.

"Trop peu, trop tard..." He said softly.

Y/n tilted her head to the side, unsure of what he said. Edward smirked, a playful and mischievous glint in his eyes. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against their ear. His grip on her hips tightened, nails digging into their flesh.

"Too little, too late..."

Y/n shivered, feeling her stomach turn into a knot as she recalled the interaction. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she pushed the feeling away. It all ended when Edward started to talk about how he wanted to fix Gotham. His desire for a renewal eventually turned into an obsession, and y/n saw how dangerous it was getting. Even though it hurt her, she didn't want to be with him while he went down that path. It had been a year since they split up.

"I suppose, it is time I end this livestream my loyal followers." Edward said.

Y/n shook herself out of her thoughts, remembering that she was watching Ed's livestream. Looking at the time, she was shocked to see that she had spaced out for about 30 minutes, recalling her fond memories with Edward. She sighed, going to exit the stream when she realized she was the only one left in it. However, Edward's voice made her stop.

"Do you still live there, Sketcher?" He asked, voice monotone, almost a hint of sadness in it.

Y/n felt her breath hitch in her throat. Shakily, her hands typed an answer. For some reason, she felt scared of Edward in this moment. She never felt scared of him. His voice was ominous.

"I am not answering that, you should already know the answer."

Edward remained silent for a little while, staring at the camera. Y/n grew unsettled, unsure of what to do. He leaned towards the camera, cupping his hands over his mouth. Y/n prepared for him to whisper, holding the phone closer to their ear.

"FINALLY THEY SPEAK!" He yelled.

Y/n dropped their phone, wincing at their ear ringing. Edward chuckled from behind the camera, finding his yelling to be funny. Y/n grimaced, scoffing as she rolled her eyes.

"I miss you. Do you miss me? If you want me to come over, say nothing. If you don't, then say anything!" He giggled.

Y/n began to type, not understanding what he was trying to do. It was like he was purposefully trying to scare them. Like it was a game to him. And y/n didn't feel like playing it. But, before she could text anything, he ended the live.

"Dick." Y/n scoffed.

She glanced at the time on her phone, wanting to see how much time had passed by.

'2:50'

Y/n groaned, getting up from the couch, taking their phone with her. The whole conversation with Edward threw her off. Unsure of what she should do, y/n decided to draw. It helped calm their nerves when they got stressed out. They walked over to their desk that was in the corner of the room, right next to the T.V. Sighing, she pulled out her iPad, which they kept on the desk, and got their drawing software set up. They pulled up Spotify on their T.V and clicked the playlist they listened to when they drew. A song she didn't really care for played, so she used this time to go change into some better clothes to draw in. They discarded their current sweatshirt and sweatpants, left in their soft purple binder and matching underwear. They thought for a moment, not really sure of what to wear. As they thought about what to wear, they pulled their hair up into a ponytail, stretching out their back afterwards.

"Fuck it." She said.

Y/n pulled their sweatpants back on, not bothering to put a shirt on since the binder was fit like a tank top of some sorts. They slid their slippers back on, laughing at the fake cigarettes they added. Y/n walked back into the living room, going back to their drawing desk. They sat down and got right to work with their drawing.

Time had gone by fast as y/n was drawing, her entire mind being focused on her work. Y/n groaned, standing up from her chair to stretch out. Glancing at her phone, her eyes widened when she saw it was 9:52 at night. But, she hadn't finished her drawing yet, and she really wanted to. Sighing, they decided another hour or so couldn't hurt. She looked at Spotify, grinning from ear to ear as one of her favorite songs played. Walking to the kitchen, she grabbed a glass of water as she swayed her hips to the beat. Taking a sip, she brought it over to her desk, placing it far away from her iPad. What y/n didn't know though, is that someone was watching her from within the shadows of her apartment. Edward Nashton had slipped into her apartment when she went to the bathroom around 10 minutes ago, and was hiding and observing her. He watched as y/n danced to the music, mouthing the lyrics as well. Y/n's music taste, at least when they drew, was mainly hyperpop music with a few other genres thrown in. Edward had never heard of the genre until y/n introduced it to him. He liked some of the songs, but he preferred to watch y/n dance to them.

"God, my neighbors probably hate me..." They chuckled to themselves.

Edward remained silent, watching as y/n danced and made commentary. That was one of Edward's favorite things about them. He loved that when they thought they were alone, or even if things were quiet, they would start talking to themselves. It could be normal things or stupid things. In this case, y/n was quoting lyrics, adding commentary on them, and complaining about their drawing. It was very evident that they were partially sleep deprived.

"Fucking, ugh! Why is it so hard to draw dilfs?" They groaned.

Edward, staying quiet, found their comments to be hilarious. However, he didn't want to reveal his position just yet. So, he watched quietly.

"Grab your man he's trying to roleplay on me all snuggly..." They mumbled in a high-pitched voice, laughing like a dork at the end.

"This songs fucking weird, it's so me core. Me core. Fuck! Me! GOD!" They face planted on the desk, groaning afterwards.

"I'm not looking up crotch references...not again...I can't subject myself to that." They whined, muffled by the desk.

Y/n lifted their head up when their phone rang, causing Edward to fall back in the shadows further. Pausing the music as the next song played, they looked at the contact on their phone. Smiling, they answered it.

"Bitch, it's 10 at night and you interrupted one of my favorite songs. You better have a good reason." They laughed.

Y/n put the phone on speaker, placing it on the kitchen counter as she poured a bowl of cereal.

"You got something better to do than talk to me, huh?" Her friend asked.

"Girl, I was drawing dilfs..."

"Oh shit, that's awesome. Can I see?"

"I haven't finished...I'm stuck."

"On what?"

"Drawing the...crotch. I don't exactly have a dick to use as reference. Not that I'm drawing a dick, he's wearing pants, but like...bulge reference. Fuck, you know what I mean."

Edward smirked to himself, a thought crossing his mind. He dismissed it as soon as it appeared. He found their conversation to be entertaining.

"I've got a big dick right here for you to use as a reference." Their friend said in a deep voice.

Y/n nearly choked on their cereal.

"Shut up! What did you call me for you cretin?"

"Oh, well I just wanted to let you know that uh...that guy at my work gave me his number..."

Y/n swallowed the cereal in her mouth, squealing afterwards. Edward covered his ears quietly, not hearing them make that noise in a long time. He had forgotten how high-pitched they could get.

"No fucking way!!! Did he say anything?" Y/n asked, looking at their hair in the reflection of the fridge.

"Yes! Ok, let me know what you think of this...he texted me earlier. This is what he said...'Hey, can't wait to talk to you more. I'd love to meet you for lunch sometime this weekend. I hope I'm not being too forward. Hope you're having a great night, Caleb.'"

Y/n gasped.

"Oh my God, he's polite too!? You hit the jackpot! You two should fall in love, have really rough kinky sex, get married, have babies, all that jazz!" Y/n spat out.

"I was thinking the same thing!!! Well, maybe not the kinky part. I'm not a freak like you." Their friend giggled.

"I'm unique like that." Y/n chuckled.

"More like you're slutty like that..."

"Hell, I'll take that as a compliment. I consider myself a collector of kinks. Like pokemon, except sinful. And you know...no animals...what were we talking about?" They asked.

"Are you high or something?" Their friend laughed.

"No, just very, very, very sleep deprived and hyped up on a large bag of sourpatch kids I got from the store. So, kind of?" They laughed.

Edward rolled his eyes, trying his best not to laugh. He missed y/n. He missed them a lot. But now, he was seeing them again. Right in front of him.

"Oh my god, go to bed! You need the sleep." Their friend suggested.

"Who are you? My mom? My dad? My overlord?" They asked.

"No, I-I'm, heh, I'm your dad-daddy..." Their friend tried to say, laughing in between her words.

"Oh fuck off, now I'm definitely getting ready for bed. Every time we call you call yourself daddy and I am 100% certain that it's giving me brain damage."

"That's the goal. To get you brain dead so I can put you in a hospital for the rest of your life!"

"Aw, how sweet! I'll haunt you when I die and possess your vibrator so it never turns on."

"Ew! Grosssss!"

"Alright, I have some cereal I have to finish absolutely devouring. So, I'll call you tomorrow. Let me know how the lunch goes!"

"Ok, love you!"

"Love you too!"

Y/n hung up the phone, as if that was the most normal conversation they had ever had. Edward found the entire thing extremely amusing. Their friend was right though, y/n was extremely kinky. Edward would know. When the two of them were in bed together, things got hot and heavy quickly. He broke out of those thoughts, watching as y/n put away their iPad and pressed play on Spotify. Yawning, they went back to the kitchen, grabbing their cereal bowl. As the song played, they finished eating their cereal quickly. Once they finished eating, they started dancing and mouthing the lyrics of the song. Edward knew this song, from when y/n would practically force him to watch tiktok edits of various people from various shows, movies, and games. He knew y/n loved this song.

"Ride!" Y/n mouthed softly, spinning around in a circle.

Y/n swayed to the song, dancing like no one was watching. Even though, someone most definitely was watching. Edward kept a keen eye on y/n, watching every movement they made.

"Can I ride!?" Y/n giggled, pointing to a drawing of a blonde man they made.

Edward recognized the person, from the Resident Evil games. Y/n was obsessed with Leon S. Kennedy for a long time, so that's probably who it was. This caused him to smile to himself.

The song was coming to an end, although still playing. Edward took this as an opportunity to step out of the shadows slowly. Every footstep he made was quiet as he made sure not to step on any creaky floorboards. As the song died down, y/n turned around after hearing a quiet noise. They turned the volume down until the music was at the same volume as a person talking normally, placing the remote back down.

"Who's there?" They asked, grabbing a pocket knife they kept on the desk.

Edward stepped completely out of the darkness, the soft light from the T.V illuminating his body in a bright white outline. Y/n scoffed, tossing their knife back on the desk. Edward found it intriguing that y/n was not scared, not even in the slightest.

"Edward Nashton, what the fuck is your problem?! I have a fucking door for you to knock on you asshole! You scared the shit out of me! I thought you were someone breaking in!" They groaned.

"I am someone breaking in." He stated simply.

"No, Edward. You're Edward. Not a scary criminal. Well, not yet at least, who knows at the rate you're going..." They mumbled.

Edward stood there, watching them walk into the kitchen. Y/n rolled their eyes, getting a glass of water. They were slightly annoyed with Edward.

"How long have you been here? Actually, no, let me guess. When I went to the bathroom. Is that when you got in?" They asked.

Edward nodded slowly.

"You're so predictable, Edward. Are you trying to scare me or something? Why are you here standing in the shadows like a creep?" They spat.

Edward walked towards them slowly, planting his gloved hands firmly on the counter. Y/n raised an eyebrow.

"I'm here to show you what I'm trying to do for Gotham! You don't understand my cause!" He exclaimed behind his mask.

"Uh huh...yeah. Why are you wearing your mask? I know who you are." They said blandly.

He didn't answer.

"Look, Ed, I know you want to help Gotham. I admire that. You've always been a kind soul. But, this is not the way to go about it. Planning murders? Bombings? How will that help?" They asked.

Edward looked down, his confidence disappearing as the person he loved told him these things. Y/n noticed, sighing before taking a sip of water. They offered Ed some, to which he denied because of the mask that was on his head. Y/n groaned.

"Take that thing off. You're Edward. Not the Riddler."

Edward's eyes narrowed, knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge of the counter. He marched into the kitchen, standing in front of y/n, pinning them against the cupboards. Y/n felt their heart race.

"I AM the Riddler! Edward, Riddler, I am two in one!" He declared, voice muffled by the mask but still projecting well.

Y/n sighed, looking over Edward. He could sense the sadness in their eyes. They reached a hand up, grabbing his glasses before removing his mask. Once the mask was off, they put the glasses back on him. Edward felt sheepish all of a sudden, almost as if removing the mask removed his entire persona.

"You look different since I last saw you, Ed. You look good." They smiled, hand cupping his face.

"Don't." He said.

"You still love me, don't you?" They asked, thumb rubbing his cheek.

Edward looked down slightly, lifting his eyes back up to theirs quickly. He took a deep breath, chest puffing out. Y/n watched as his eye twitched, a telltale sign that he was anxious.

"Yes..."

"Did you think that this whole Riddler persona would make me fall in love with you?"

Edward didn't answer.

"Ed, I still love you. I always will. But, I don't love who you're becoming. It worries me."

"I just want to do good for the people of Gotham who suffered, just like we did..." He said shakily.

"Killing people is not the way to do it. That is not going to win me over, Edward. If you want to keep this Riddler persona, then that's fine. But, use it for good. Help law enforcement with finding criminals, the ones who make Gotham a terrible place. Don't add to it..."

Edward nodded, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. Y/n wiped it away, smiling up at him. He looked down at them, straightening his posture. He cleared his throat.

"Y-You're right. It's just, this whole persona gave me a newfound confidence. I wanted to do something memorable and meaningful with it."

"Edward, I love that you've found your confidence. But, you need to use it for good."

He nodded once again, the two of them falling silent. Edward looked into y/n's eyes, feeling his cheeks grow hot. Y/n felt a knot form in their stomach.

"Can you promise me that you'll stop this madness? Please? For me, Riddles..." Y/n frowned, tears forming in their eyes.

Edward's eyes widened, hugging y/n to his chest without thinking about it. He rubbed their back, heart racing fast against theirs.

"No, no no no, no please don't cry. I promise, Sketcher. I'm sorry that all of this happened. I caused us to drift apart, I don't know what I was thinking. I promise you, I'll stop." He cooed, nearly crying against their head.

"I believe you, Edward."

The two of them grew silent as they held each other. Despite the emotional moment they just had, they weren't sure what to do. It was hard to move on from such an important conversation, especially the one they just had. Y/n sighed, pulling away from him, back against the counter. Edward looked down at them, taking in their appearance.

"Y-You got your binder. It looks good." He commented.

"Thank you, it took so long to arrive. But, it was worth the wait. I have more in other colors."

Edward nodded.

"Ed, can I tell you something?" They asked.

"Y-Yeah, of course."

"Your Riddler persona scared me a bit, what with everything that you were planning. But, besides those things, I found that whole persona to be quite..." Y/n trailed.

Edward waited, anxious for what they were going to say.

"...hot?"

His eyes widened, watching as y/n blushed lightly. He reached down, lifting their chin up with two of his fingers. Y/n looked up at him, bottom lip out in a natural pout.

"You did?" He asked.

Y/n nodded.

"It seemed like you were really protective over me when you were doing those livestreams."

Edward's jaw clenched when he thought about that one chat someone sent. He could easily find their address, and he definitely thought about paying a visit. But, after the conversation he just had with y/n, he knew that was off the table. Even though the person definitely deserved whatever he wanted to do to him.

"That swine threatened you. No one threatens you and gets away with it."

"Mmm, that's the part of the Riddler that I like..." Y/n hummed.

"God, I've missed you so much, y/n."

"I missed you too, Ed."

He looked down at them, feeling the confidence he had when he broke in flood back into his body. Y/n saw this from how his posture changed. His stature was looming and a glint of mischief twinkled in his eyes. Y/n felt themself shrink beneath him, feeling cornered in the kitchen by him. But, it wasn't like they were scared he would hurt or kill them, no. It was anticipation of what he was going to do next. Edward always was unpredictable. Y/n's breath hitched as Edward brushed a strand of hair out of their face.

"You've always had a knack for intimidating, even dangerous, men. Haven't you?" He teased softly, looking down at them with dull eyes.

Those eyes, they drove y/n insane. His gaze had the ability to make their knees wobble, faltering their stability. He knew of this affect, and he basked in the feeling of power this gave him. Neither of them liked to consider themselves 'in charge' of the other. But, when things got intimate, y/n absolutely loved it when Edward would run the show. He did too.

"You shiver under my touch, cara mia. Why is this? Do you fear me?" He asked gently.

Y/n nibbled on the bottom of their lip, chest heaving from the tension. Edward grinned, leaning down to plant a soft kiss below their ear. His breath fanned on their neck, causing goosebumps to prickle over y/n's skin.

"Or does my presence simply make you tremble with desire?" He whispered.

Y/n let a quiet moan slip out of their throat, causing them to blush deeply. They were embarrassed to admit how easily Edward drove them crazy. The two of them would be lying if they said they didn't miss each other, both emotionally, physically, and sexually. They nodded, wrapping their arms around his neck.

"Of course it does. I know you promised you'd stop the things you were going to do. But, you're still The Riddler. And, having you in my apartment, standing over me...my heart's racing. Earlier today your persona was ready to kill someone for me and, as weird as it is, I found it hot..." Y/n gasped, breathing heavily.

Edward smirked, grabbing the mask from off of the counter. He glanced down at it, then back up at y/n. A sickeningly lewd idea popped into his head. Y/n looked up at him, adrenaline and wonder filling their vision.

"You know what else he would do for you? To you?"

Y/n's legs instinctively closed, causing Edward to stifle a chuckle. He gave y/n a quick glance, as if to ask if it was ok to continue. They nodded frantically. He took a deep breath, eyes closed as he calmed himself. Without saying anything, Edward put his mask on, placing his glasses on top of the now covered bridge of his nose. He let out the breath he took, coming out in a raspy exhale. Y/n felt a shiver go down their spine as the T.V light illuminated Edward in an almost ethereal green. His hands fell to his sides, clenching and unclenching in a fist. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed the back of y/n's neck, yanking them towards him.

"He would fuck you until you scream his name." He said simply.

The bluntness of his statement made y/n throb. They let out a shaky breath, gripping onto his shoulders for stability as their knees buckled. A dark chuckle emitted from his throat, letting go of y/n and stepping away from them. Y/n almost fell to the floor, catching onto the counter at the last second. Standing up straight, they watched as Edward walked over to the couch, standing in front of the T.V. He stared at y/n, nodding towards the couch subtly. Y/n didn't budge, breathing heavily in shock of the situation. Edward let out a frustrated sigh, stomping his foot on the ground.

"GET OVER HERE!" He shouted.

Y/n was quick to get to the couch, trembling as they stood in front of him. Edward removed the piece of the mask over his mouth, only attached with a few of those small click-on buttons. Placing it in his pocket, he grabbed y/n's face, slamming his lips onto theirs. Y/n moaned into the kiss, being caught off guard by the suddenness of it. Edward groaned, pulling away from the kiss.

"Edward..." Y/n sighed.

Grimacing, he pushed y/n down on the couch. Y/n looked up at him, eyes dark as he looked down on their body. He let out a frustrated sigh that slowly grew into a groan. He pointed at his chest repeatedly.

"I am The RIDDLER in this moment. You WILL address me as such." He declared.

Y/n squeezed their thighs together, gasping at his harsh attitude. The Riddler smirked, his mouth on display to y/n. A song started to play in the background, causing y/n to blush when they realized what it was. He walked towards them, grabbing their hips and moving them onto his lap as he sat down.

"Do you understand?" He asked.

"Y-Yes, Riddler."

He listened to the song as it played, smirking at the lyrics. Y/n avoided eye contact. Roughly, he grabbed their chin and yanked it towards him. He pulled them down to his face, kissing them on the lips briefly.

"If memory serves me right, the last time you and Edward fucked, it was to this song wasn't it? That's quite fitting, seeing as how it'll be the first song the Riddler fucks you to." He said, laughing at the end.

Y/n moaned, mouth agape slightly. He gripped it, keeping their mouth open. Looking at their mouth, he remained silent. His analytical eyes observed the inside of y/n's mouth. They were slightly confused, but afraid to move.

"You'd take me well with that mouth of yours..." He stated.

Y/n moaned softly, whining at the end. He chuckled, releasing his grip on their jaw. He looked at y/n, pushing them off of his lap. Y/n stood up in front of him, panting and wide eyed.

"Strip." He ordered.

Y/n didn't hesitate, removing their pants. He watched as they slid their underwear off, causing him to let out a low grunt at the sight of their bare lower body. Reaching up, y/n hesitantly started to remove their binder. The Riddler held up a hand, signaling for them to stop.

"No. If you feel that that part of your body does not belong on you, then I do not find it desirable. I will not allow you to face dysmorphia once again." He said.

Y/n smiled, feeling their heart swell. It pleased y/n to know that Edward's Riddler persona was just as caring and supportive as he was. Giggling, they left their binder on. He stood up, unbuttoning his pants slightly, letting his bulge under his underwear poke out. Grabbing y/n's neck, he kissed them harshly and bit their bottom lip. They groaned as he pulled away. Edward hushed them, placing a finger against their lips as he listened to the song.

'Kiss me on the lips, choke me on the floor.'

'Drag me around, push me right against your door.'

'I'm your little doll, come and play with me.'

'Fucking chase me, fucking break me.'

Y/n hummed to the song very quietly and he grinned. Adjusting his grip on y/n's neck, he smirked down at them. The glasses he wore were reflecting the light of the T.V. He looked mysterious and dangerous. It made y/n's cheeks heat up.

"You like that song, huh?" He asked, rubbing his thumb against their skin.

They nodded.

"Of course you do. You like that shit, don't you?" He mocked.

They nodded again, frantically. He mimicked the way they nodded, even going so far as to imitate the soft moans they made. Y/n held the hand he had gripped around his throat, pouting up at him. He rolled his eyes. He knelt down on the floor, bringing them down with him. Y/n's eyes grew big as he pinned them against the floor, straddling their lap as he did so. The grip on their throat tightened, y/n gasping for air. The Riddler hummed to himself, swaying his head to the song. Pretending he spaced out, he looked back down to y/n. He faked a gasp, covering his mouth with his free hand. Y/n let out a choked moan, causing The Riddler's bulge to grow.

"You said you liked to be choked on the floor, isn't that true? I'm just giving you what you want." He cooed, reaching down to caress their face.

He watched y/n as they grabbed at his hand. The Riddler let out a yawn, releasing his grip on their throat. Y/n moaned, gasping for breath. He mocked their panicked breathing, holding his own throat with his hands. He faked chokes before breaking out into a soft and eerie laughter. Y/n felt filthy for finding his actions extremely hot.

"I thought you liked that? Hm?" He teased.

"I do..." They sighed, a moan slipping out at the end.

He reached down, grabbing the ponytail their hair was in. As he stood up, he pulled at their hair, causing y/n to stand up with him. He dragged them across the room by their hair, making sure not to go too fast. He wanted to be rough, not abusive. Walking inside y/n's room, he closed the door behind them before slamming y/n against it. They grunted, wrapping their arms around his neck.

"You wanted this. Your eyes were practically begging me to fuck you. Please tell me you didn't expect the Riddler to go easy on you, mon cœur?" He chuckled, a sick smirk tugging at his lips.

"No, I want it rough. I love it rough..." They panted.

He threw them on the bed, watching as they propped themselves on their elbows. Their legs were crossed over each other, hiding themself from him. He rolled his head to the side, letting his neck crack as he walked to the bed. He stood in front of y/n, menacing and ominous.

"Yes, I know. I know how filthy you are. I know how...experimental...you were when you were mine. I imagine you're still the same filthy slut."

Y/n nodded repeatedly, slowly opening their legs. His head was held high, exuding power with his stance. He let his eyes trail down, face emotionless as he gazed between y/n's legs. He breathed in deep, letting out a shaky sigh that made y/n moan. The Riddler found himself mesmerized by the sight before him, his muse, his love, all spread out and on display for him. It was a beautiful sight that made the blood pump in his veins. He felt his dick twitch and inhaled deeply before exhaling.

"Offering yourself to me, so...willingly...it brings a smile to my face. I assume you realize how whorish you look right now. Spreading your legs for a dangerous person such as me..." He trailed, leaning down and planting his fists on either side of the bed.

His body was hovering over the lower half of y/n. Underneath his chest was y/n's legs, spread open, exposing their body to him. Y/n moaned, nodding their head.

"I know how slutty I'm acting. But, I can't help it. You make my heart race and I just want to feel you inside me so bad..." They whined, squirming underneath him.

"Yeah, you want that?" He hummed.

"Fuck, yes!"

He made a 'tsk' noise as he stood up straight. Y/n watched as he removed the gloves he wore. He placed the pair in his left hand, glancing down at them. He looked back down at y/n, humming again. Throwing one of the gloves to the side, he reached down and dragged the one he kept over y/n's stomach. Slowly, he trailed back down, kneeling on the floor in front of the bed. He grabbed the underside of y/n's calves, yanking them towards him. Their legs dangled off the bed, lifting up as he hung them over his shoulders.

"As you'll recall, I have a strong fascination with games, puzzles, riddles, etc. How about we play a game right now? Will you amuse me and take part, cara mia?" He asked, letting his breath fan against y/n's slick core.

"Mmm, yes. I-I'll play a game with you, Riddler." They moaned.

"Oh how fun, I have high hopes for you."

He blew against their pussy once again, smirking cockily to himself as y/n squirmed. His hands gripped their thighs that hung over his shoulders.

"I'll ask you riddles and you answer them. If you get it right, you get a reward. If not, well...you'll find out, how about that?" He chuckled, waving his glove for them to see before sliding it on his left hand.

"What? I've never been good at your Riddles! That's not fa-"

"Those are Edward's riddles. You have not heard mine, have you? Besides, I just made them up a few moments ago, specifically for you. It would make me so upset if you chose not to play."

"Ok, fine. Just, ask me your riddles."

He chuckled.

"I can make you shiver and I can make you hot. I may take a while to arrive, but I can be fast in the right hands. What am I?"

Y/n groaned, holding their hands over their face. The Riddler giggled, finding their struggle amusing. While he waited, he looked between their legs. He licked his lips as he saw how swollen their clit was.

"What am I, y/n?" He asked.

"Damn it, I don't know! Mail?" They whined.

"Mail? Hm, not even close. Do you want a hint, cara mia? I'll let you have another try." He smirked.

"Yes, please..." Y/n groaned.

"If you're good I'll give it to you tonight..." He hinted suggestively.

Y/n furrowed their eyebrows, thinking for a moment. The hint was so obscure. It could be anything based on how he said it. After a bit, their eyes widened in realization.

"An orgasm!"

Chuckling darkly, he shoved a finger deep inside of y/n. Y/n threw their head back into the bed, a lewd moan leaving their mouth. The Riddler let out a sigh, enjoying the feeling of his finger inside of them.

"Oh, good job darling. I'm so proud of you. Are you ready for another riddle? You only get one try this time..."

"F-Fuck, u-um, yeah I'm ready..."

"A queen, a movie, I can chill you to the bone. If it comes from pleasure, some would call it a moan. What am I?"

"What the fuck...? Um, fuck, I don't know...I don't know!" They whined.

Sighing, he kept stood up, not all the way though. He wanted his finger to remain inside y/n. Caressing y/n's face with his gloved hand, he watched as they pressed into his touch. The smile on his face faded, turning into a frown. Swiftly, he brought the back of his hand across their face. Y/n gasped, mouth agape and looking up at him.

"SCREAM! I'M A SCREAM!"

Y/n whined, bucking their hips up into Edward's finger. He furrowed his eyebrows underneath his mask. He went back down between their legs and smacked their thigh lightly, signaling for them to stop. He sighed.

"You should have known that answer, it's one of your favorite horror movies. I'm disappointed. You only get one more riddle. If you get it right, I'll finally give you what you so desperately want. If you get it wrong, I leave you on your bed a wet, slutty, pathetic mess."

"Oh God..." Y/n mumbled.

"I am done when desperate. A dog for a treat, a criminal for their life, a traitor for forgiveness. What am I?"

Y/n thought, not wanting to get it wrong. They groaned, eyes shut closed tightly. A frustrated sigh left their lips, turning into a whine like a child pouting. The Riddler smirked.

"Riddler, I beg you please...just fuck me!" They pleaded.

"Oh, you're so close to earning that..." He chuckled.

Y/n went silent, eyes widening.

"Beg! It's beg!" They cried out.

He pulled his finger out, causing y/n to whine. Leaning down, he planted a kiss on their lips. A proud smile was on his face, a laugh coming from his throat.

"Very good, ange précieux. I'm so proud of you." He praised, standing up straight.

Y/n watched as he looked down on them, eyes crazed and bright behind his glasses. He stepped forward, the bulge hidden by his underwear directly in front of y/n's face as they sat up. Y/n waited for him to say something, but he never did. Instead, he slowly pushed his underwear down, letting his dick fall out. He groaned as it slapped their face. Y/n kissed it gently, letting their tongue lap around the tip. He hissed, not giving any warning as he grabbed their hair and shoved his dick down their throat. Y/n gagged on the length, tears forming in their eyes. The Riddler moaned, leaning his head back in pleasure as he held their head there. After a moment, he pulled them off, pushing them down to the bed.

"I was correct, my dick fits perfectly in your pretty little mouth. But that is not what I want right now, nor is it what you want. Admittedly, it would be nice to throat fuck you till you're gasping for air...but I digress. Now, spread your legs."

Y/n moaned, their back flat against the bed as they listened to his instructions. The Riddler removed his glove, swaying his hand in the air as classical music played on the T.V. He hummed to himself, knowing the lyrics by heart, going through a huge classical music phase a few years back. Y/n watched, finding it hypnotic and twisted how carefree he was about the situation. Meanwhile, y/n was desperate and horny, spread out on the bed.

"A beautiful piece..." He mumbled.

He stepped forward a little, grabbing the underside of y/n's thighs as he pulled them close. Abruptly, he spit in between their legs, the substance landing on their throbbing pussy. He quietly sang the lyrics, y/n not knowing what he was saying. It always baffled y/n how well he spoke Latin, French, who the hell knew what other languages he spoke. All y/n knew was that it turned them on. Tightening his grip on their thighs, he pulled them closer to him as he thrusted forwards. Y/n cried out, voice cracking as they moaned. The Riddler grunted, but continued to sing along with the song. Y/n whined as he stilled inside of them, causing him to groan.

"It's rude to interrupt someone. I like this song, now be quiet!" He spat, bringing a hand down to pinch their clit.

Y/n bit back a moan, biting down on their fist. He was torturing them, y/n was sure of it. And, they were correct. The Riddler knew how desperately they wanted to be fucked by him, but he was having too much fun to give it to them. Not without a few more teases. He moved very slightly, causing y/n to think he was about to thrust into them. When they realized he was playing with them, they let out a pitiful whine. Their back arched, covering their face with their hands as the pathetic noise left their lips. He watched this, the sight making him twitch inside of them.

"Oh, cara mia..." He cooed.

"Riddler, please..." They cried.

"Mmm, my name sounds so good coming out of your mouth. My dear pitoyable chérie. Do you want me to fuck you?"

"Yes! Please!"

"Tell me how filthy you are for wanting this. Tell me that you're mine. You know it's true." He groaned, pinching the inside of their thigh.

"Fuck, you're right! I'm yours, Riddler. I always have been! I'm your filthy sl-slut. Please! I jus-"

He reached down, grabbing their hair. Leaning down, he met them halfway as he kissed them roughly. With a harsh thrust he began to fuck into them at a brutal pace. Moaning into the kiss, y/n bit down on his lip. He groaned and pushed them back down, standing up straight again. Bending over, he crawled on top of them as he continued to plow into their sopping pussy. Y/n reached up and gripped his hair, incoherent mumbling sliding past their lips.

"Oh, you filthy thing...you want more? Tell me."

"Yes! Please!"

A guttural growl left his throat, cursing underneath his breath. He grabbed y/n, looking around the room. Spotting a mirror, he dragged y/n in front of it. Sitting on the bed behind them, he shoved y/n down on his dick, sitting on his lap. The Riddler fucked up inside of them, facing the mirror all the while.

"My, my, would you look at that?" He teased grabbing y/n's jaw and forcing them to look at the mirror.

Y/n whimpered, watching them bouncing on his dick as he thrust upwards. The pace was sickeningly animalistic, a speed that y/n didn't think was humanly possible. A dark chuckle resonated in his chest, y/n feeling it vibrate against their back.

"Look how good you're taking me. You were made for me, cara mia. My missing puzzle piece. You fit me so perfectly. So tightly." He moaned in their ear, voice raspy and low.

"Oh fuck, Riddler..."

"That's right, cara mia. Moan my name. I won't let you cum until I've heard you scream it."

His nails dug sharply into the excess flesh of their hips, leaving indents in the skin. The classical music playing in the back made the erotic scene even more vulgar. Ecstasy was thick in the air like pungent poison. It filled their sense and drove them crazy, searching for the antidote in each other's bodies and pleasure. The Riddler ripped the hair tie out of y/n's hair, letting it fall down. He buried his face in it, inhaling their sweet scent that he missed so much. Though he was the Riddler, his feelings for y/n were the exact same as Edward's. After all, they were the same person. Just a persona, a facade he put on. Like roleplay.

"Ri-Riddler...please." They begged.

Grunting, he stood up, holding y/n by their thighs. His dick stayed inside them the whole time as he flipped them over onto their back on the bed. Not giving them any time to adjust, he picked their legs up and held them high. With the better angle, he drilled into them, face contorting into pleasure underneath the mask. Y/n covered their eyes with one of their hands, arching their back. With the other hand, they gripped the sheets desperately searching for some stability. With every thrust he made, the Riddler pummeled directly into y/n's g-spot, making them moan each time. With every moan that left their lips, the next one became more pornographic.

"Oh, I can tell you are so close. You've reached the precipice of your desire, teetering on the edge, aren't you?" He moaned, gasping at the end.

"Y-Yes, please! I wanna cum!"

"You want me to push you over that edge, cara mia?" He taunted, slowing his pace.

"Fuck! Don't stop! Please! I n-need it so bad!" Y/n was crying, their sobs pitiful and sad to listen to.

"Then scream my name!" He growled.

He slapped them across the face, slamming into them roughly. Y/n let out a noise that was indescribable. However, the sound made him whimper. His thrusts quickened, no longer rough but rather sadistic. Y/n tried to get words out, but couldn't. He pinched their clit harshly, twisting it between his pointer finger and thumb.

"RIDDLER! FUCK!" They screamed, the multiple sensations overwhelming them.

"That's it. That's what I wanted to hear..." He sighed.

All it took was a few more thrusts, that's all. With those final powerful, sadistic thrusts, y/n came undone. He pulled out quickly, cupping his mouth over their sopping hole. The suction of his lips against their pussy guided them through their orgasm. The Riddler groaned against their sensitive skin, lapping up all their arousal and climax. With a satisfied moan, he unlatched his lips and swiped his tongue around them. Some of their orgasm dripped onto the mask, but he cared very little about that. Standing over them, he stroked his length, head tilted back as he did so. Eyes were closed shut as he felt himself nearing his climax. His breathing quickened in pace, chest heaving up and down as he let out soft groans. Y/n could tell he was about to cum. Immediately, y/n crawled towards him, albeit shakily, and lowered their mouth on his cock. A loud moan slipped out of the Riddler, looking down to see y/n sucking harshly on his dick. The sight pushed him over and he felt his dick pulse inside their mouth as he released inside of it. He gripped onto their hair harshly, tugging on it as he hunched over. Y/n popped off of his dick after swallowing the thick liquid. They hated the taste of it, but they so desperately wanted to please him. A string of cum and saliva connected their lips to the tip of his dick. Using his thumb, he wiped it off their bottom lip. Y/n fell back onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and hugging it tight to their chest. The both of them were panting, catching their breath that was lost in the sinful exchange they committed.

Edward stood still, tucking himself back into his underwear. He groaned, rolling his head around to work out a kink in his neck. Removing his mask, he placed it on dresser near the bed. Y/n watched him as he did this, giving him time to calm down. He removed his jacket, revealing a dark green tank top underneath. His pants were next to go, tossing it somewhere in the room. Mumbling to himself, he got in bed next to y/n, pulling them close to his chest.

"God, I missed that..." He sighed.

"Me too...does this mean we're back together?" They asked.

"I'd like to think so. What about you?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Edward rolled over on his back, staring at the ceiling for a moment. Y/n turned on their side, facing him. As he breathed y/n watched his chest rise up and down. The rhythm soothed them, almost like counting sheep. Sitting up with a grunt, Edward sat on the side of the bed. It was from this angle that y/n realized how toned Edward was. He had gained a bit of weight since they last saw him. But, that was honestly a good thing. He was very skinny before, almost unhealthy. Y/n was glad to see a little more meat on his bones.

"Whatcha doin'?" They asked.

"Honestly, trying not to pass out. But, I was going to get a washcloth to clean you up." He yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Oooh, Edward Nashton's world famous aftercare. Can I have a glass of wine and a cheese platter as well?" They asked.

"Mmm, I forgot how funny you are after you get your guts rearranged..." He said sarcastically.

He stood up from the bed, tripping over his feet slightly as he made his way to the bathroom. Y/n giggled, missing their boyfriend dearly. The both of them were undoubtedly glad to be back together, even if it was a result of Edward breaking into y/n's apartment. After a few moments, he came out of the bathroom, glasses slightly crooked and eyes barely open. Y/n was rarely tired after sex, but Edward usually did get tired. It honestly just depended on how rough he was. And, he was extremely rough tonight. Y/n gave him a kiss, holding his face in the palm of their hand. Pulling away, y/n looked to see if it woke him up at all. And, surprisingly, it did. He had a dorky smile on his face as he held the damp washcloth in his hand.

"I can make you some coffee afterwards if you'd like?" Y/n suggested.

Edward nodded as he gently placed the cloth on their thigh. Rubbing softly, he wiped away their arousal. His eyes were so bright and caring, just like the subtle smile that was on his face. With one final wipe, he placed the cloth in the hamper. Y/n started to sit up, but Edward stopped them. Carefully, he dragged them to the edge of the bed, legs dangling off the edge. Y/n sat up very slowly, stomach sore from the sex. Edward walked to the dresser, thinking for a moment before he opened one of the drawers. He pulled out a pair of underwear. Holding that in his hand, he opened another drawer and grabbed a pair of sweats. He closed all of the drawers he opened and went back to y/n.

"I'm surprised I remembered which ones to open." He chuckled.

Y/n smiled as he slide the pair of underwear up their legs. He was cautious around the inside of their upper thighs. Edward knew they would be extra sensitive, so he did his best to be as gentle as possible. Once the underwear was on, he helped them put on sweatpants as well.

"Ok, uh, where do you keep your coffee? Same place?" He asked, standing up.

Y/n nodded, resting their head against his stomach. Edward smiled widely, patting their head softly. He leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on the top of their head. Pulling away, he started to leave the room.

"Go piss." He stated simply.

(a/n: everyone should pee after they have sex, it helps flush out any bacteria and prevents UTI's :) make sure you all stay healthy!)

"Oh God, Edward. Really? You couldn't have found a more blunt way to say that?" They laughed, slowly standing up on shaky legs.

"I could if I tried. Do you need help?" He asked, hand on the door frame.

"No, I'm ok. Thanks though." They said.

Edward nodded, leaving the room to let y/n take care of themselves. Yawning, he walked past the couch, stretching out his arms. He glanced at the T.V and chuckled. Earlier, classical music was playing. And now? Well, obviously, the Pokemon: Indigo League theme song was playing. Seeing and hearing the song gave Edward the sudden urge to watch the show. He got a pot of coffee brewing, the smell raising goosebumps on his skin. Edward knew that y/n worked at a coffee shop, they have been for the past couple years. He knew that y/n could make a really good cup of coffee. A few minutes later, y/n came walking out of the bedroom, legs shaking slightly as they walked. Edward had a cocky grin on his face.

"I think I did a pretty good job tonight..." He said softly, voice slightly hoarse.

"No shit, I don't think I'll walk straight for a whole week. Work is going to suck on Monday." They groaned.

Edward looked in the cabinet where the coffee mugs were, smirking when he found his old mug. He poured some coffee in the green mug, taking a sip immediately afterwards. He sighed, feeling better even after the first sip.

"You kept my mug." He said.

"Well, it was really all I had as a reminder of you." They smiled.

"Oh, that reminds me..."

Edward placed the mug down, walking over to corner of the living room. Looking around, he scratched the back of his head. Y/n grabbed a juice box from the fridge, suddenly craving something fruity. They watched as Edward bent over and grabbed something from off the ground. He made his way back over to y/n, holding whatever he picked up behind his back. Y/n raised an eyebrow, glancing to the T.V and seeing that Heavy Metal Lover by Lady Gaga was playing. Edward snapped his fingers in front of their face.

"Hey, no Gaga! Not yet. I've got something to show you." He chuckled.

Y/n brought their attention, biting on the straw of the juice box as they took a sip. Edward brought one of his hands out from behind his back and held it in front of y/n. Removing the juice box from their lips, the set it on the counter. They gasped, holding their hands over their mouth.

"Oh my God, Edward! It's Sir Clawdius!" They squealed.

Edward smiled as they snatched the bear out of his hand. When y/n and Edward split up, y/n couldn't find the bear anywhere. They had assumed that they lost it. But, Edward had it the whole time.

"I will admit that I snuck it away when I left, I just wanted a piece of you with me. I meant to return it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I brought it with me because I was finally going to give it back to you. So, yeah...sorry." He looked down sheepishly.

"Oh Edward, I'm not mad. I'm relieved that he was safe with you!" They giggled.

"Oh, well that's a relief. I thought you might try to maul me or something..."

"Maybe..."

"What? Please don't..."

"I'm kidding. Go drink your coffee! I'm going to put this li' guy up on my shelf!" They said.

Edward grabbed his coffee, leaning against the counter as y/n walked to the desk they drew at. He smiled as the warm drink went down his throat. Standing on their tippy-toes, they reached up and slid Sir Clawdius up on the top shelf, right next to the Leon Kennedy drawing.

"Oh yeah, I meant to ask. Is that a recent drawing? Did you play RE4 recently?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Uh, maybe...don't look at the game in my console..."

"Ok, well that answers that question. But, I have another question. Have you done a speed run of it yet?" He asked.

"No, I take my time playing that game. I like the graphics..."

Edward shook his head slowly as he finished the last of his coffee. Y/n looked away, fighting back a goofy smile.

"Oh yeah, the graphics...totally. By graphics do you mean you like getting Leon hurt on purpose because he moans every single time?" He asked.

"This is becoming an interrogation and I am exercising my 4th amendment. So, I don't have to answer anything."

"Ok. Well, you basically confirmed my theory. Plus, I've seen you play the game in the middle of the night when I lived with you."

"You did!?"

"A lot. Every single time you were either angling the camera to get a better look at him or running into fights on purpose. So..."

"Ooh! I'm going to ignore the fact that you said that and pretend like we never had this conversation! That sounds like a really good idea!" They said cheerily, sitting down on the couch.

Edward rolled his eyes, sitting down next to them. He exhaled softly and watched as y/n turned off Spotify and turned it onto the console. Lo and behold, the most recent game played was RE4. Y/n handed the controlled to Edward, gesturing for him to take it.

"I wanna watch you play. Every time you get hurt is another picture of Leon Kennedy I will draw."

"Oh wow, you are very sleep deprived aren't you?" He laughed.

Edward took the controller and started to play the game. While he played, y/n slid under his arm, resting their head against his chest. They watched him play until they eventually drifted off into sleep. Edward smiled and turned the game off, holding y/n close to him as he picked them up. Going in their bedroom, he placed them under the covers and crawled in next to them. He let them fall asleep snuggled up into his side as he rubbed their back. He had been through a lot of problems while they were separated. And it was true that he went down a very dark path. But, he was so thankful for y/n, glad that they snapped him out of it. For now, he was happy, holding the love of his life in his arms once again. That was truly all he needed in his life. The warm and comforting embrace of his best friend was the one thing that could cure him of any ailment, any troubling thoughts, and could bring him out of the darkness that clouded his mind like a thick fog. He was as happy as he could ever be in this one moment.

He would never leave them again.

#writers #fanfic writer #writers of tumblr #fanfic #gotham #the riddler #dc universe #edward nashton #paul dano riddler #the batman 2022 #the batman riddler #paul dano #danonation #batman 2022 #dano riddler

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hissecretobsessionreviews · 7 months

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His Secret Obsession Reviews - User Exposed Truth 2023!

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lovelytarou · 3 years

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the language of flowers — oikawa tooru

pairing: oikawa tooru x gn! reader

genre: fluff, flowershop!au

tags: flowerboy!oikawa, slowburn, strangers to lovers

word count: 4.06k

a/n: i finally finished this after 2536484 years of procrastination! but thanks to my moots shae and julie for showing support and giving their opinions about this concept hehe. this is the longest fic i've written wow 😳

⤷ summary: the flowershop on the street you frequently walk on going home is a wonder you didn't notice until recently when the smell of flowers caught your attention. deciding to enter it one day out of pure curiosity, you met the owner of the shop and with it, the start of a blooming romance.

life was filled with repeating patterns, certain routines and habits that everybody has gotten used to doing. like the way you always took the same path when going home, passing by the familiar faces you encounter all the time, seeing the similar architecture and landscape that brings some sort of familiarity to you whenever you see it.

your feet stopped in their own accord when a sweet smell invaded your nose. you inhaled deeply, the aroma pleasant and fresh. going a few steps back, you finally saw where it was coming from. the flower shop stood out like a sore thumb in the street with its vibrant flowers that you can see through the clear glass. the sunlight was shining down upon the beautiful flowers and they looked charming even from afar.

you thought for a moment and decided that you'd stop by in the flower shop for a little while. besides, if the smell alone has caught your attention, who knows what else can?

the soft tinkle of the bell on the door signalled your presence. you were simply in awe at the sight of the decorations inside the shop. it was breathtaking. numerous flowers, bouquets, wreaths, and some that you don't know the name about were placed neatly and elegantly inside the shop to let the customers feast their eyes (and noses) upon.

giggles and loud laughter snatched you away from your thoughts, a huddled group of women and men alike are circling over something - or someone? - and they seemed to be too entertained about it than the flowers themselves. chuckling quietly, you shook your head and decided to look around the place more for yourself.

there were buckets and baskets of anemones in pinks, reds, and purple. there were also daffodils, camellias, and tulips of many colors that you can't help but get sucked in by them. you can't think which one to go to first, there are so many! the hanging plants are wonderful as well, they can make for great decoration. the succulents look cute and adorable, it can also be manageable if you find yourself too busy to take care of a plant.

you were too deep in your thoughts, caressing a blue tulip to even notice the sudden silence in the shop and the ringing of the bell at the door that tells you the previous patrons have exited the flower shop and you're now alone. or so you thought.

“beautiful,” a sing-songy, lilting voice spoke from behind you, causing you to jolt from where you're admiring the flower and turned towards the owner of the voice.

if the flowers took your breath away, well he made you get your breath stuck in your throat. he looks like he's not from around him, and simply breathing in his space is something short of disgraceful. you took in his wavy side-swept dark brown hair, and his welcoming eyes of the same color that shone with mischief. his lips are stretched into a smile.

wow, he is really tall. you're surprised he hadn't reached the ceiling of the shop. he seemed pretty intimidating with his height alone, but there's an air around him that screams playfulness.

“ah, i meant the tulips.” he apologized as a blush coated his beautiful clear cheeks, a hand touching his nape.

“oh!” you cleared your throat, immediately bringing the tulip back where it respectfully resides, “yes, they're very wonderful to look at. you have a lovely shop, uh…”

he seemed to perk up at the inquisition of his name, he chuckled to himself before offering his hand.

“oikawa tooru, nice to meet you! and thanks, i do try hard to keep this flower shop presentable for customers like you who have taste.” he winked, walking past you and you followed suit – eyes practically glued to his form as he moved swiftly around his small shop.

“must be difficult to run a business like this all by yourself,” you wondered, fingers brushing against petals that your hand can reach.

it's odd, but staying in there for just a few minutes has brought you a sense of relaxation. as if the flowers all around you and talking to oikawa is such a breath of fresh air.

“well, you get used to it after a while. besides, i have my friends, uh...help me sometimes.” he nervously chuckled, he certainly knew that 'help' means that force his friends to carry things around while blackmailing them and bribing them for lunch, then sure, he had them help him.

you only hummed in response.

he turned around after a while, a pink lily in his hand.

“i think this suits our gorgeous customer, don't you think?” he smirked, handing the flower with a flourish which you took gently – causing your hands to touch and making you feel that slight tingle people talk about in movies and books.

you felt silly about the way your face heats up at the small gesture, your gaze not straying away from the flowers in fear of letting oikawa see his effect on you.

but you can try with all your might, nothing can stop him from already seeing your flushed face. he always does these things to entertain the customers but he found his chest feeling warm staring at you like that.

going back to his place in the cashier, he started to tidy up a bit for the next customers that will visit the shop. his brown eyes kept staring at you from time to time as you walked around, trying to see if there's anything else you could buy along with the lily – but we all know it's just to keep your attention away from him and the fact that he can make your heart race with mere flirting.

“i never really noticed your shop before, and i have walked this street for how many times now.” you droned on, playing with the cute pots on the shelf – some of them were heads of the cliché green alien and other space themed stuff which you find adorable, bringing a fond smile to your face.

“oikawa's flower shop is like a secret garden, my dear customer.” he boasted, spraying freesias on the cashier desk with a smile on his face.

“it truly looks like one,” you agreed, with one final look in the flower shop, you walked closer to the cashier and got out your wallet.

“no, no. it's on the house, lovely.” he beamed, stopping the hand in your bag.

“really? thank you.” your face flushed at the feeling of his hands – the very same one who took care of these beautiful flowers – touching yours.

he recoiled, as if burned. his face painted a deep red like the roses by the windows. both of you looked away, like two magnets of the same sign – coming in contact with each other only to repel.

“well, um, i'll see you around then.” you muttered, breaking the silence.

“yeah, see you.” oikawa smiled warmly. hopefully much sooner, he hoped.

with one last look at each other, you turned around and exited the secret garden. you walked home that day all smiles and giddy, still feeling the lingering touch he has left on your skin, how warm and calloused they felt. maybe from how hard he was working.

you wondered if you'll ever see him again soon.

the second time you visited the flower shop was when you saw oikawa in one of the coffee shops you frequented. it turned out that he usually stops by for coffee and his milk bread when the shop's particularly slow. he asked to walk you home and since you're both taking the same path, you agreed.

he turned out to be a very chatty person – not the kind that will annoy you because they only talk about themselves, but the amusing kind because he has a lot of stories stored inside his big brain full of tales about him and his friends, and occasionally asking about your life as well.

you two had fallen into a comfortable pace as you walked together, sipping both your beverages.

“hey, let's play truth or dare!” he blurted, eyes sparkling in excitement and thinly veiled mischief, a bright smile on his lips.

“really? here? now?” you asked, incredulous. isn't this something people do in parties around a lot of people?

“yeah! it'll be fun,” he shrugged.

“well, okay then.” you sighed, before sipping your drink, “you go first.”

“okay…” he pretended to think hard, eyes darting everywhere as he hummed, “truth or dare?”

“you don't really need to think so hard about that,” you chuckled.

“just pick!”

“alright, alright. truth!” you beamed at him, trying to understand what his brain will cook up to ask you.

“ah, that's easy. what's your name?” oh, that's right. you forgot to tell him back then the first time you went in his flower shop. and so, you told him.

“y/n. what a beautiful name. okay, my turn! my turn!” he excitedly chanted, eyes never losing their sparkle.

you ignored the butterflies that erupted in your stomach the moment he said your name, as if he's taking his time and tasting it around his tongue like a foreign delicacy he hasn't tasted before.

you cleared your throat, averting his gaze as they zeroed in on you, “truth or dare, mr. milk bread?”

“hey, they taste really good, i'll have you know.” he scoffed, before his face morphed back into excitement again, “dare!”

you thought for a moment, there isn't really anything too interesting to do while walking. and then you smirked.

“i dare you to greet the person who will walk this corner as if you knew each other for a very long time,” you grinned devilishly. he gaped at that, before darting his gaze towards the street corner you were talking about.

“y/n-chan, i didn't know you would be the type,” he teased, you were about to retort when a huge, buff man walked around the corner. he looked intimidating, even for you and you wondered what oikawa might be feeling right now.

but you didn't need to wonder about it any longer as he was already walking up to the man, confident and grinning. he raised his hand in the air before slapping the guy on the shoulder.

“hey, long time no see, man! say hello to the wife and kids for me, will ya?” the man gave him a weird look before shaking his head, walking past and minding his own business muttering about 'kids these days'.

once the guy was out of earshot, you and oikawa bursted out in laughter, looking at each other with relief and surprise.

“i thought he was going to pulverize you!” you wheezed in between chortles.

“i know! me too! i thought he'll get mad at me or something,” he threw his head back as he laughed. you stopped your own giggles to stare back at him. he looked radiant as he let himself go, you thought he looked attractive with the way he candidly showed his happiness.

“something wrong, y/n-chan?” you hadn't realized he stopped laughing and was left staring at him. his head was tilted in curiosity as he peered at you in concern.

“not at all!,” you catch yourself, suddenly feeling hot and embarrassed, hoping he didn't notice you ogling him, “where were we?”

“it's your turn now, truth or dare?” feeling bold, you chose dare next.

oikawa gave you a broad smile, his hand extending towards you as if encouraging you to take it, “i dare you to stay a little longer with me in my shop,”

to be honest? you expected him to get back at you and maybe make you do an equally embarrassing (if not more) dare, but you did not expect this.

what you also didn't expect is the fact that you had stopped in front of oikawa's flower shop with your back turned to it. how did you reach there so fast? it seemed like talking and walking with him made time stop. a part of you would like to keep it that way, if only it was possible.

“i would love to,” was your answer. oikawa opened the door to his shop, letting you in first. he then led you near the back of the shop, opening into a wide backyard that resembled a small, gorgeous garden with different kinds of flowers. some even you haven't seen him display in the shop inside.

the two of you sat on the two seated table. you were simply at awe with how ethereal this all looked. your eyes couldn't get enough of all the wonderful colors that it landed on.

“wow,” was all you managed to say, taking in your surroundings and appreciating every nook and cranny presented to you.

“i spent most of my breaks here,” oikawa came back with two glasses of water and placed them on the glass table.

“usually talking to myself and talking to the flowers. i heard it helps them grow faster and makes them more beautiful.” he, too, looked around his small garden with unconcealed pride and fondness. if you looked closer, you could also see the hint of sadness hidden in there.

“you talk to your flowers? that's so cute!” you gushed, hiding your smile behind the glass of water as you sipped it.

“if anything, you're the one who's cute.” he complimented as if it was nothing, eyes boring into yours as his smile widened.

you choked on your water, coughing it up out of surprise and it was the opposite of cute. but his opinions didn't change.

oikawa barked a laugh, reaching over to pat your back soothingly. once you calmed down, you avoided his gaze once again and decided to stare at the sunflowers nearby.

“we should just continue the game,” you decided to divert the topic.

“truth or dare, cutie?” oikawa bit back the grin from emerging on his face. hiding it with a palm propped up on the table.

“d-dare,” you answered without thinking. and oikawa being the little shit he is, took this as an opportunity.

“i dare you to go on a date with me this saturday,” he sincerely declared, eyes not leaving you once. your head whipped back to him so fast, you swear you got whiplash.

you're not one of these flowers and yet you felt the butterflies going wild inside of you.

your heart beat rapidly inside of your chest, pounding hard and ringing in your ears.

“you don't need a dare to get me to say yes,” you reasoned with a wide smile.

oikawa tooru, like his flowers, is a lively, blooming person. you get to know that the moment you agreed to go on a date with him. it followed a few hangouts, and frequent bumping into each other considering this was a small town, afterall. how you haven't noticed such a vibrant person in your life was beyond you.

you see him everywhere, every day in your life right now. in the small bushes that your neighbor has in their garden, the alien and sci-fi movies in the store which were his favorite every time he invited you to watch a movie, the milk bread you saw in the coffee shop you both love to go, and even the characters in the books you love to read. oikawa tooru practically invaded your life the moment you invited yourself in his flowershop and you loved every second of it.

every time you two hang out together, he never misses to bring you any flower. you'd always keep them with you until you come home, placing them in a vase and watering them constantly, taking care of them like how much oikawa takes care of the flowers. you paid no mind to it, only thinking that it was a sweet gesture from him until your friend decided to comment on the fresh flowers on top of your coffee table.

the both of you had known each other for a very long time now and that she's going to get married, she wanted you to be a part of it too. setting down the tea in front of her on the table, you sat down beside her, engulfing her in a hug.

“oh, y/n! i missed you so much! it's been busy with all the planning for the wedding and the people to invite, i still haven't tried on my dress and tasted the cake, it's kind of stressing me out!” she immediately let her sorrows and agony free the moment you let go of the hug.

“speaking of stress, is there anything i could do to help?” you reached for her hand, rubbing it soothingly in circles.

she hummed thoughtfully, sipping her tea to calm her nerves, “now that i thought about it, we still don't know anyone good enough for the flower decorations in the venue,” she pouted, sighing sadly.

a lightbulb lit itself on top of your head, making you perk up, “i know someone who does!”

“really? are they good?” oh more than good, you wanted to butt in but shake your head free of those thoughts.

“of course! he's actually the one who gave me these, he takes real good care of them.” you gestured towards the tulips in your vase. it seems like her eyes lit up and she immediately fell in love with the flowers.

“tulips?! oh, y/n, my dear, he's in love with you!” she squealed in glee, bouncing in her seat like a little kid.

“how did you know that by simply looking at my tulips?”

“giving tulips to someone means a declaration of love, sweetie.” she sighed dreamily, “you might as well plan for your wedding too!”

“don't be ridiculous!” you exclaimed, trying your best not to smile too wide.

you weren't too against on the idea, but you just met afterall. it would be too early for another wedding. even though he never failed to show his affection every time you are together, there's still a lingering doubt whether he did like you in that way.

as promised, you asked oikawa about it the next day, stopping by his flower shop with coffee and his beloved milk bread since it's his break.

“y/n-chan! it's always a pleasure to be visited by you again,” he greeted you, he was attending to a few customers in the store and excused himself before talking to you. your heart swelled with the action, not being able to hide your smile this time.

“tooru, i was just stopping by to ask you a favor. my friend's wedding is getting near and she still doesn't have any flower decorations for the venue. i mentioned you and i was wondering if you're the one who could do it instead?” you bit your lip nervously, fumbling with the paperbag containing the bread as you looked up at him hopefully.

seriously, how can he resist you looking at him that way? your eyelashes fluttering, mouth formed into a pout, eyes shining brightly. you're just asking him to devour you whole. before he knew it, he had leaned in to peck the corner of your mouth.

it completely shocked you to your core. he hasn't done that kind of thing before, always being respectful and never doing anything you didn't want to. but strangely, you weren't mad at him for it. to tell the truth, you kinda wished he kissed you more.

“i'd love to, y/n-chan.” he uttered, pinching your cheek before turning to hide his own reddened face.

that was basically the last time you saw each other since you recommended him to your friend. and since then, he has been busy and you tried to help with the wedding as well. you figured oikawa has his hands full with taking care of the decorations for the wedding, but even then, he would still message you or even facetime you after – asking about how yiur day went and craving to see your face without him being able to for how long.

the day of the wedding came and it was magical. your heart melted the moment your friends said their “i do's” as everybody clapped and rejoiced with them. the moment you stepped into the venue, everyone was amazed, speechless at the decorations being the first thing their eyes could feast upon. pink and white roses was all you could see – ranging from vine-like ones hanging from the ceiling, to arches in the doorway, and some are even placed neatly on the tables.

to sum it all, it was breathtaking.

“your boyfriend did amazing,” your friend teased, bumping her hip to yours as she walked away with her husband to greet some guests.

you were left standing there, mouth agape as you took everything in. you couldn't wrap your head around the idea of oikawa managing to do all this by himself, but then again, he has surprised you by doing a lot of things you didn't know he could do.

“you know, if you stayed here longer there won't be enough food left for you.” the familiaf voice you grew to love and got used to spoke from behind you. something tugged in your chest, the events seeming like déjà vu all over again.

“i'm just admiring your work, tooru.” you smiled, turning around to face the man behind the beautiful decorations.

he's changed his clothes into a more formal attire than his usual getup with the aprons and white button up shirt for a maroon suit and tie. he even styled his hair back, if you didn't know him long enough you might have mistaken him for someone else.

“you look...good,” you managed to breathe out, it seems like the decorations aren't the only ones that are breathtaking. your eyes drank him in, how the clothes hug his frame perfectly, the color complimenting his skin tone, and the fact that his fluffy hair is swept away really makes you want to jump his bones right here, right now.

“and you look gorgeous. i must say, i don't mind you looking like this all the time, y/n-chan.” he chuckled, a shit-eating grin blooming on his face as he eyed you up and down slowly. your face grew hot against his stare and you felt naked, as if his eyes can see through you.

“th-thanks, tooru.” you mumbled, playing with the hem of your clothes. before any of you could speak, however, the emcee spoke on stage calling out the bride and groom to give a speech.

you all gathered around the small stage as they thanked everyone for coming to the wedding, inclduing the guests, their helpers, the staff. after all the mushy speech, she declared it was time for the dance, turned around and threw the bouquet (that's also from oikawa) to the audience.

you saw the thing flying to you and out of pure instinct, you threw your hand in front of you and ended up catching the bouquet. everyone around you clapped including oikawa himself as you stared at it wide eyed. your gazed met oikawa's and as if your face couldn't get any hotter, you also felt the fast beating of your heart when you stared at each other.

everybody howled and chanted teasing remarks at the two of you. instead of paying attention to the newly weds they picked the two of you as the center of their amusement.

your friend's voice overpowered them all as she also chanted, “kiss! kiss! kiss! kiss!”

oikawa looked at you with a raised brow and you can only smile bashfully in return before you felt the world turn upside down, oikawa dipping you as he kissed you passionately and deeply. time seemed to stop once again as everything blurred and all you can feel is him, and all he can feel is you. he hoped it would be enough to pour all the emotions and words he wanted you to know.

it felt like the kiss lasted forever before he pulled away, the two of you out of breath as you giddily smiled at each other, both sharing a lovestruck look.

“is it too early to ask you to marry me?”

general taglist: @chibishae34 @behan @bukojuiice (tagging you here bcs you're excited for this)

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spicycreativity · 3 years

Text

Howl- Ch. 3

Chapter: 3/10

Add'l Notes: Fic is posted in full on my AO3, WizardGlick

Chapter content warnings: Depictions of alcohol use

“Nothing,” Remus pronounced. His breath ghosted over Virgil’s ear and he shuddered, pulling away so he could look Remus in the face. Remus was still in his work clothes and he smelled, not wholly unpleasantly, of sweat and dirty water.

“Nothing?” Virgil ran his pointer fingers behind both ears, just barely resisting the urge to dig in with his nails and see for himself, dammit.

“I think you’d know if aliens had stuck a tracking chip in your head,” Remus said, his own fingers dancing across the countertop toward the basket of enamel pins by the register.

Virgil ran his fingertips across his temples, still feeling for something, some marking or scar. “But if it wasn’t aliens...”

“Far be it from me to be the voice of reason,” Remus said, “but are we sure you weren’t just sleepwalking? Or high on peyote?"

Virgil continued to track Remus' fingers as he stuck his hand in the basket. "If you steal anything, it comes out of my paycheck." Not strictly true, but it would make Remus pause.

"I wasn't gonna steal!" Remus exclaimed, holding up his hands. "But now I kinda want to."

"Please don't." Virgil sighed and put his face in his hands. He'd noticed a strange metallic taste in his mouth after waking up properly, and even the desperate mouthfuls of Monster he'd been forcing down his throat couldn't seem to touch it. It hadn't touched his exhaustion much, either. Whatever Virgil had been up to last night had not been a restful activity.

"Oh, c'mon, don't freak out." Remus' hand sat heavy on Virgil's shoulder, warming him through the thin fabric of his Baphomet t-shirt. "You were probably just sleepwalking. It happens all the time. Roman used to sleepwalk all over the place when we were kids. One time we even found him asleep in the yard. Naked, just like you."

Virgil peeked over his fingertips. "Really?" Remus was not the type to lie to make someone feel better, but this story seemed a little far-fetched.

"I swear," Remus said, eyes wide with childish solemnity.

The only customer in the store stepped up to pay, and Remus stepped aside to let Virgil deal with them. He made faces behind their back, contorted himself into absurdly sexual poses and stuck out his tongue and wiggled his hips like Elvis in his prime. Virgil pursed his lips to keep from laughing. It had been a hard decision to ask Remus for help with this, but Virgil was glad he had chosen him.

Patton was a big softie and nearly as prone to panic as Virgil was. If he didn't escalate Virgil's paranoia about aliens then he would probably end up pressuring Virgil to make a police report. A useless endeavor, since no crime had actually occurred as far as Virgil knew. Roman and Janus would just make fun of him for being a tin foil hat-wearing loony. And Logan… Well. He might judge. He might not. But Virgil didn't want to look stupid in front of him. Not to mention that Logan would ask questions, force Virgil to face something he wasn't ready to face.

So Remus it was.

"Thank you," Virgil said when the customer had left and Remus had stopped gyrating his hips. "I know I'm being dumb and it was probably nothing."

"Janus isn't here right now," Remus said, pouring out the basket of enamel pins. They scattered and clicked across the countertop. "But if he was, I think he'd say--" Remus shifted his weight and crossed his arms, "'Now what did we say about negative self talk?'"

Virgil chose not to remind Remus that Bienvenue was only a few blocks away and he could easily go get Janus if he wanted. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I know it wasn't aliens."

"But if it was peyote, you do have to share," Remus said, his attention already back on the pins. He poked through them with one dirty fingertip.

Virgil watched for a moment, then joined in, turning the pins to face Remus so he could get a good look at them. Remus seemed particularly fixated on one shaped like a death's head moth. "That one's six dollars."

Remus braced his elbows on the counter and clasped his hands under his chin, lashes aflutter. "You know how you could repay me for checking your skull for alien trackers?"

Virgil nearly reached for his wallet before he realized what Remus was actually getting at. He sighed, biting back his smile all the while, and made a show of turning to inspect the rotating sticker display. "Uh-oh," he said in an exaggerated monotone. "I'd better make sure all the stickers are properly organized. Gee, I sure hope no one shoplifts while I'm doing that."

There was a brief moment of silence. It was broken when Remus, presumably done pocketing the pin, said, "So bowling night?"

"Huh?" said Virgil, trying to find the dirty joke. Maybe something about balls?

Remus pulled his phone out of the pocket of his work pants and shook it at Virgil. "Pastor Patton's little group bonding venture?"

"Don't call him that," Virgil muttered, digging his phone out of his pocket. Sure enough, of the messages he'd been ignoring all morning, one was a new group chat. He read through the messages. "How did Patton get your number?"

"Roman gave it to him."

"How'd he get Janus' number?"

Remus grinned. "I gave it to him. No way am I suffering through some corny adult bonding shit without backup."

"Am I not backup?" Virgil asked, unsure whether he should be offended.

"You can't be backup," Remus said dismissively. "You're the bridge. You forced me 'n' Roman to reunite, you made us all hang out. You're the bridge. You won't be as mean as I need you to be."

"I'm mean!" Virgil said. "I'm so mean!"

"Say something bitchy about Patton right now. Quickly!" Remus began to snap his fingers.

"Um," said Virgil. "Uh. Sometimes-- Well, sometimes he can be kinda… Smother-y?"

"Oh, please." Remus rolled his eyes. "That was almost healthy communication."

"Fine." Virgil crossed his arms over his chest.

Remus let him pretend to be upset for roughly three seconds. "But you are coming, right? Or are you gonna spend the night playing with Data's joystick?"

Virgil's cheeks went hot. "Of course I'm com--" He paused and reconsidered his choice of words. "Of course I'll be there. And Logan will, too."

"Wonder if I can start a betting pool," Remus said thoughtfully.

The bells on the door tinkled and Virgil leaned over to see past Remus. "Hi, welcome in," he said in his best customer service voice, which wasn't very good. "Let me know if I can help you find anything."

"Just browsing."

"Alright."

"Well," said Remus, affixing the moth pin to his hi-vis vest. "See you tonight?"

"Yeah," said Virgil. "Please be nice to Patton."

Remus winked and started to back out. "Sorry! Hazing is mandatory."

He slipped out the door, leaving Virgil to marinate in his anxiety.

Although he was exhausted, Virgil went for a short walk after work. He wandered by Bienvenue and stared at the fancy suits in the window and wondered how Janus always had the audacity to dress like he was attending a funeral at a high-end night club. His feet took him forward and he smiled a little. If there was one thing Janus had in abundance, it was audacity.

He stopped again by the reflecting pool at the Plaza and read the plaque. It had very little information and devoted barely half a sentence to the supposed curse. A shiver ran down Virgil's spine. He took a deep breath and carefully did not panic. As Logan would say, he shouldn't jump to conclusions. He needed more data.

Virgil didn't want more data. He would happily chalk his misadventure up to sleepwalking and banish it forcefully to his subconscious, if only it would never, ever happen again. He shivered again despite the balmy weather and muffled a yawn behind his hand. Time to go home and get whatever sleep he could before the inevitable disaster of bowling night.

He managed to get home without hitting any potholes. Whatever stormy weather had threatened Vaillant earlier in the week seemed to have passed, and he was treated to a spectacular view of a great blue heron flying low over the road. He even managed a few hours of sleep before he had to wake up and get ready.

He chose his outfit with care, scrutinizing it through Logan's eyes. What would Logan like? What did Logan like? Virgil had no idea about his preference in men or how he slotted into it. Was it his height? His body shape? His eyes? What should he play up to make Logan like him? So Logan wouldn't regret choosing to be with him?

He dithered over this until he made himself late, and chose an outfit that he felt good in: long sleeves, long pants, the reassuring weight of his hoodie on his shoulders.

He kept it zipped up to his neck even after he entered the warmth and light of Vaillant's singular bowling alley, Gator Lanes. His friends were already seated. Waiting. For him.

Despite the wash of guilt, Virgil slowed and surveyed the scene. Patton and Logan sat on one of the low, pleather couches with a pair of bowling shoes between them. That left Roman, Remus, and Janus wedged on the other couch. They all looked like they were getting along, which was good. Roman and Remus were speed-eating French fries while the others talked.

Virgil approached from the back, gesturing for Patton and Logan to be quiet. He didn't miss the way Logan's eyes lit up; it sent a pleasant little rush of adrenaline all through his veins. When he was close enough, he leaned over and stole the pineapple off the rim of Janus' hurricane glass. It was dyed red from grenadine and tasted vaguely of rum.

"It's fine," said Janus, casually flipping Virgil the bird. "I wasn't saving that or anything."

"Guess you'll have to get another one," Remus said.

They started bickering about how drunk was too drunk for bowling night, so Virgil came around to Patton and Logan's side of the table. He kissed Logan hello while Patton explained about the shoes: "They were out of your size, so I got a size down instead of up, because I know you wear those really thin socks and I didn't want you to slip."

"Thanks, Pat," Virgil said. His hand found Logan's, somehow, and he smiled. "I wouldn't have put that much thought into it."

"That's why you have me!"

"Can we start now?" Roman asked, wiggling in place.

Patton stood up to fiddle with the control, and Virgil forced himself to nuzzle Logan's jawline with his nose. He wanted to do it, but the idea of being witnessed while he did so made his skin crawl.

Logan turned his head so they were nose-to-nose and smiled before pulling away. "Do you want me to order you a drink? We were going to, but we weren't sure what you'd want."

Roman threw a straw wrapper at them. "We're just about to start!"

"You're up second, too," Patton said cheerfully, flopping back down on the couch. "I put us in alphabetical order."

"I'll go, then," Virgil said. He squeezed Logan's hand and let go of it, stood.

"Don't forget to put your bowling shoes on," Janus said, eying Virgil's ratty leather ankle boots. Janus himself had somehow done the impossible and matched the colors of his suit to the dull red and blue of Gator Lanes' bowling shoes, making his whole outfit look deliberately tacky.

"When I get back."

"I'll go with you!" Roman got to his feet. "I already know I'm gonna lose. What's one more drink?"

"That's the spirit!" Remus said.

"Ha," said Patton, "I get it."

They turned to go, Roman bumping Virgil with his hip to prompt him forward. "So you and Logan, huh?" he said once they were out of earshot. "How's that going?"

"Fine," Virgil said, feeling the blush crawl onto his face. It was a short walk to the bar, but it suddenly seemed like miles and miles.

"You sure keep things close to your chest, don't you? Didn't say a word to me." Roman crossed his arms and looked sideways at him.

"I didn't think I had a chance!" Virgil exclaimed. "Wait. Did he say something to you?"

Roman winked at him, shushed him, and bellied up to the bar so he could order. Virgil hung back, one hand on his wallet, but Roman waved a hand. "Janus has a tab going," he said, turning back to Virgil.

"Does Janus know he has a tab going?" Virgil asked.

"Uh, yeah, it's not like I stole his card."

"It's not you I'm worried about," Virgil said, thinking of Remus and the moth pin.

"Ugh, you worry too much."

"This shouldn't be news to you, Roman, I have 'Worry Too Much' Disorder." Virgil flicked at his zipper pull. "Wait, so did Logan say anything to you?"

Roman smiled, even laughed a little. "Uh, yeah, he practically asked me and Patton for permission to ask you out. He made us promise not to tell you. Honestly, it was kinda cute how nervous he was."

"Nervous?" Virgil repeated. It was obvious now, but it hadn't occurred to him that Logan had lost just as much sleep over Virgil as Virgil had over him.

A harried-looking bartender popped up behind Roman, slid their drinks over, and vanished again practically before Virgil could force out a 'thank you.' Roman passed him his vodka Red Bull. "Let's go."

"Alright." Virgil sighed. It was probably better not to try to wring the details out of Roman, especially since he'd said that Logan had told him not to tell.

They reached their lane and he scooted in next to Logan, snuggling up a lot closer than was necessary, especially given that Patton was currently up to bowl. "Welcome back," Logan said.

Virgil set his drink on the table and began to change his shoes over. "Having fun yet?" he asked Janus. He was still a little resentful that Remus and Janus didn't think he could be mean anymore. Just because he didn't want to shit-talk Patton behind his back. Sure, Remus had been the one to say it, but Virgil had no doubt the sentiment originated with Janus.

"Sure, I guess there's a sort of primal thrill in hurling a 14-pound ball at a target," Janus said primly.

"10 pounds," Logan said.

Virgil bit down on his lip to hide his smile.

"I'm sorry?" Janus tilted his head.

Logan gestured at the bright yellow ball sitting in the ball return. "10 pounds, not 14." Patton's ball came back, followed shortly thereafter by Patton. "16 pounds," Logan said.

"Pat's strong," Virgil said, elbowing Patton as he sat down. Janus bit down on an ice cube. "By the way," said Virgil, feeling a spark of pure evil manifest inside himself. "Have you guys made cutting boards yet?" To Janus, he said, "It's kind of a tradition."

"I'd heard," Janus said, shooting him a covert dirty look.

Virgil smiled at him and turned to Patton. "Janus would rather die than say so, but I can tell he's excited."

"Oh, good!" Patton said. To Janus, he said "I was actually a little worried you wouldn't want to do it."

Virgil's killing strike was delayed slightly by Remus' reappearance and Roman's subsequent disappearance, and he knew he had to act quickly or Janus would wiggle out of it when Virgil was taking his turn. Remus finally sat and stopped crowing about his spare, which no one had witnessed. Virgil pounced. "Bienvenue is closed on Sundays, isn't it?" he said to Janus, as though the shop hadn't kept the same hours for years. "Maybe you guys could do it then."

"The weather should be clear, too," Logan chimed in. Virgil looked at him, trying to gauge if he had picked up on the game, but his face gave nothing away.

"Works for me!" Patton said. "I'm putting the finishing touches on a coffee table for somebody down south, but I can make time on Sunday."

"Great," said Janus with a plastic smile Virgil knew he usually reserved for difficult customers. The daggers in his eyes promised a thorough bitching-out later, but Virgil didn't even care. So he wasn't mean anymore, hm?

"All you," said Roman, tapping Virgil on the shoulder.

Virgil nodded and took a long swallow of his vodka Red Bull. It was stupid, but walking up to bowl always felt like walking out on stage. He knew full well none of his friends were paying attention and even if they were, their friendly teasing was nothing to worry about. They knew when to stop. But still, his heart quivered as he approached the lane. By sheer luck, he managed not to get a gutter ball, then turned and hovered awkwardly as he waited for his ball to come back.

Logan caught his eye and winked at him, not even pausing in his explanation of the physics of bowling. Virgil smiled back, and suddenly everything seemed that much lighter, that much more bearable. He really had to stop worrying so much.

#ik the aesthetic boards are reminiscent of mid 2000s livejournal fic covers but whatever it's camp and i like doing it #sanders sides #analogical #virgil sanders #spicywrites #spicywrites howl

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pixie88 · 3 years

Text

Baby Shower

Chapter 7 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: This chapter is a fast forward. Rereading it seems like a filler but a fluffy filler! I’m loving my new collages!! SO PRETTY!!! I hope you like it!

Comments always welcome good or bad!

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this new series from now on as I don't want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1885

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, NSFW & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy 😘

I've been home for 4 days now, I'm bored Adam is at work he wanted to stay home but I convince him that I am fine. But now? Now I'm bored! Daytime TV is awful, I decide to go for a walk. I pop into Bridezillas, Jess looks up at me as I walk into the shop "Hey Ellie! How are you feeling?" she has the most fake smile.

"Hi, I'm feeling OK, just bored!"

"I can imagine it must be just staring at 4 walls all day. Have you heard anything about what is happening to the girl that attacked you?"

"Erm, last I heard they were charging her. Adam is dealing with updates. Has it been busy?"

I don't know if it's real or fake but she gives me an apologetic look "Psycho, hopefully she'll get what's coming to her. Today has been pretty steady actually" the shop phone rings Jess smile and answers it.

I hear the shop door open and turn to greet what I thought would be a customer to be face with his 'Why aren't you resting, look' I feel like a kid being caught with her hand in the cookie jar "Ellie, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at home with your feet up?"

I give him my best pouty sad face "I was bored, so I thought I'd go for a walk and just popped in. How did you know I was here?"

He gives me that grin, "I was walking back from the shop, we needed more tea at work and I saw you in here"

Jess interrupts "Ellie, are you OK to keep an eye out here for a minute or two? Amy is on her break and I need to check out back if a customers dress has been altered?"

I look over my shoulder at her "Yeah, that's fine" She smiles before rushing out the back to the stock room.

"Busted then! I was just so bored I was going to go stir crazy just watching TV"

His arms come around me, his cheek bushes mine as he whispers against my ear "I could've kept you company, but you told me to go back to work!"

I laugh, "Adam!!" I playfully swat him.

"Back thanks Ellie!" Jess calls from behind.

"Right, come on I'm taking you to lunch"

"Oooo, can we go to The Grill? I'm really feeling a chicken burger! Oh, and ice! Baby wants ice!"

He laughs, entwines his fingers through mine and pulls me towards the door "Bye Jess!" I call over

"Bye!"

We get outside "I just need to pop these into the office" we walk over to his office, we get out the front then I freeze on the spot.

Adam turns to look at me, then it clicks and his face turns to concern "Ellie, beautiful! I'm sorry! You know what I'll leave these here and tell Rob there outside. Don't worry I won't let anyone hurt you or Charlie! I promise! Let's get you some lunch"

~*~*~*~

After lunch Adam drops me home, I'm looking round the spare bedroom we emptied a few weeks ago. We have the paint, furniture, and furnishings. Nina and Al decided to stay another week after my incident with Laura. I give Nina a text, half an hour later, Al and Nina arrive "Ellie, let's get start on this room" Nina rushes me upstairs. She paints not letting me help and Al puts together the furniture.

I hear my phone.

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Hey yummy mummy, I hope you're at home resting! I will grab you a couple of bags of ice on the way home! x]

[Hi my gorgeous husband, I am! I've just grabbed one of your hoodies while the heating is heating up as I'm cold. I will send a photo as proof haha! You know how to make a girl happy, I just finished the bag we got at lunch :( xx]

I take a kissy-pouty face photo with his white hoodie in my hand to throw him off and hit send.

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Beautiful! Probably all that ice you've eaten that's made you cold. OK, I'll get 4 bags might last until tomorrow at least. x]

[Haha, it probs is! I might get in bed until I warm up. Not a bad craving to have, can't put on weight eating ice! haha. We will see you later xx]

Later I'm just putting the vacuum round Charlie new bedroom, Nina and Al have, left as they have plans with Elaine.

"Ellie? Gorgeous? Are you here?"

I hear him call out as he comes in for work "I'm up here! Come up!" I call down, I rush out of the room and close the door.

He reaches the top of the stairs and turns to me "There you are!"

"I have a surprise for you!"

He narrow his eyes at me "Would it have anything to do with that paint on, your forehead?"

I touch my head (Crap!) "Ellie, what have you been up to?"

"Come here, cover your eyes and follow me!" I pull him with me as I open the door "You can't open your eyes until say!"

He grins, I pull him further into the room "Open them!"

He opens his eyes and looks round the room "Ellie, Wow! This is amazing!" he has the brightest smile, "Wait, you didn't lift that furniture did you?"

I laugh "No, of course not. I got your mum and dad to help. Your dad put everything together your mum painted the walls, I did offer to help but she would only let me make teas"

He wraps his arms around me "Ellie, it's perfect!" he claims my lips with his "Now, let me make you dinner!"

"No, Adam I'll make it! You've been at work all day"

He cups my face "And you're pregnant and came home only 4 days ago! I'm cooking no arguments" he kisses my lips softly. I know there's not point in protesting.

~*~*~*~

4 Weeks later.

He clutches my hips as I'm bouncing up and down him "Fuck baby! That's it ride me!" he pushes off the bed and sits up as pulls me to his lips.

I grasp his lip between my teeth, he groans and I let go before his lips kiss along my pulse line. He moves his hips up burying himself further into me "Yes! That's it! Oh!!" a wave of pleasure explodes between my legs and I hit my climax.

He drives into me a few more times before he hits his own.

I collapse onto him, he wraps me up into his arms "Do you have to go to work today?" I put on my pouty face.

He chuckles "Not had enough?"

I shook my head, "You will have so much more fun with me" I wink.

"I would but I'm busy at work" he kisses me gently before getting out of bed, he turns "But you can always join me in the shower!" he winks. I jump up, and he pulls me towards the bathroom with him.

After our shower we are in the bedroom getting dressed, I'm sat on the bed when I feel a flutter in my tummy (That's new) I rest a hand against my bump and I feel it "Adam!! He's kicking!" He spins round and rushes over to me, I take his hand and place it where I felt the kick.

*Kick!*

Adam felt it, his face lights up "He kicked!" then another and another. "Oh wow! This is amazing Ellie!" Adam's phone rings and rings and rings "Rob, what's up?...Yeah, of course. OK, I'll be right there!" he hangs up "I've got to go. I love you...the both of you" he kisses my cheek then my bump.

"We'll see you later!" I smile.

I have today off as Amy needed to swap days. Mum has invited me to lunch at the club, I take the train into the city centre.

[Hey husband! <<I don't think I'll ever get bored of calling you that! 5 weeks tomorrow you made me your proud wife! How's work? Not working to hard I hope?! You'll need your energy for later ;) Just on my way to mum's club for lunch. x]

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Hello my beautiful wife < I won't get bored of calling you that either xx. Wow, feels like yesterday! Yeah, work is fine muddling through. Oh, will I now? Why would that be!? Have fun and think of me stuck here! xx]

[Good because that's my title until I'm 6 feet under! haha. Aww just think we could be in bed sweating, panting and screaming each others names...but you chose work. Because I plan you for you to fuck me all night! haha! x]

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[That won't be for a long time yet! Fuck picturing it now *boxers feeling tight!* I won't make that mistake again. I plan to keep you in bed until you're sore ;) I need to get back to work. I love you both xx]

[I could've helped with that....but I can't now. You better not!!!!!!!! Ooooh looking forward to it. We love you too x]

~*~*~*~

I get to the club and head inside.

*SURPRISE!*

I look around the room is decorated in blue balloons, it's a boy and baby shower banners! Everyone is here my mum, Tom, Amy, Justin, Elaine, Nina, Kerry and Adam. My emotions get the better of me and I burst into tears.

Mum rushes over to me "Oh, El's this was supposed to have the opposite effect"

I smell his aftershave then feel his arms wrap around me "Hey beautiful! No tears!"

I smile through the tears, he cups my face and wipes them away "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting this! It's such a lovely gesture!" I apologize.

I dry my tears and Adam leads me to a table "Was this your doing? I thought you were busy?"

"Hey Ellie, You can cry if your want to 1. it's your party and 2. you're pregnant, you can be emotional and no one can question it" Elaine calls over.

He gives me a smug smile, "I had to make you believe that because I needed to get here to help your mum. Do you really think I would have turned down a day in bed with you for work?"

I laugh, "I'll remember that next time! Your mum is here! She's racking up some air miles"

"When Mel mentioned it to me a few months ago I had a word with mum. I said she didn't need to come down, but she wanted to. I think she likes you more than me," he laughs, "But seriously she wants to be here in her words 'Adam don't be so silly this is my first grandchild I'm going to get on the first plane for everything, the birth, their first steps etc'"

I laugh, "Bless her!"

Later after gifts and food. I'm catching up with Tom "How are you feeling El's?"

"Like an emotional hippo!" He laughs, "So, it looks like you and Justin are over your little spat?"

"Yeah, El's there's something I need to tell you," he gives me a look I can't read.

"What? What is it?"

"El's, come on let's cut the cake!" Mum pulls me away before Tom can answer. (What does he want to tell me?)

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 8.

@lem-20 @khoicesbyk @aussieez @shewillreadyou @txemrn @irisofpurple

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

Text

National Examiner, March 22

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson -- his journey from thief to superstar

Page 2: These stars wheely like to bike -- Hugh Jackman, Eva Longoria, Matthew McConaughey, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, Russell Crowe, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Page 3: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez, Al Roker, Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith, Matt Damon, Justin Theroux, Ethan Hawke

Page 4: Jennifer Aniston's roles and costumes

Page 6: Susan Sarandon is 74 and single now and she admits she likes to date younger men because they have more inquisitive minds than older guys

Page 7: Golden Age of Glamour -- the shocking beauty tips, tricks and secrets of Hollywood's most stunning stars -- Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth, Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Crawford

Page 8: Listen to Granny -- older media influencers are getting into the act on social media, with women in their 80s and 90s earning huge followings and lots of money on Instagram -- while some are all about their head-turning styles, others go with decorating or fitness to create their granfulencer brands

Page 9: Go ahead and binge that new TV show because it's good for your mental health -- new research shows the lack of social connection we're all feeling now because of COVID-19 restrictions can be filled, at least to some degree, by watching TV, reading books and listening to music

Page 10: Lucia DeClerck has some advice for living a long life, and she knows what she's talking about because she's 105 years old -- not only did Lucia live through the 1918 Spanish Flu, she's the oldest person in her nursing home and she just beat COVID-19 -- how does she do it? Gin-soaked golden raisins

Page 11: 8 ways to prevent back pain

Page 12: Stars Still Strong and Sexy As They Hit Milestone Notorious 90 -- Marla Gibbs, Gavin MacLeod, Angie Dickinson, Barbara Eden

Page 13: William Shatner, Olympia Dukakis, Dan Rather, Rita Moreno, Willie Mays, James Earl Jones

Page 14: Dear Tony, America's Top Psychic Healer -- all marriages need care and attention to flourish

Page 15: There are nicer, more medically accurate ways to describe it, but "dead butt syndrome" says it all, that feeling of numbness or achiness from sitting too long -- it is no joke to the many people who experience the discomfort of DBS, otherwise known as lower cross syndrome, gluteal amnesia, or gluteus medius tendinosis -- people who sit at their desk all day for work are particularly prone to this syndrome, where muscle tightness in the hip flexors and weakness in the gluteus medius muscles in the buttock combine to create hip and lower-back pain, leading to numbness -- luckily there are simple remedies you can try to alleviate symptoms and even reverse the syndrome

Page 16: Princess Diana: little girl lost -- Diana's brother Charles Spencer reveals truth about heartbreaking childhood

Page 18: There are about 100 prepaid food receipts fluttering on the wall of Ruma's Deli in Missouri and if you're hungry and your pockets are empty, you can grab one, bring it to the counter and get a free meal, no strings attached

Page 19: Pixel the cat is so creepy-looking even a professional exorcist crossed himself and ran -- Alyson Kalhagen's cat has giant googly eyes, a Halloween pumpkin smile and oversized bat ears and he's also fond of making funny faces but the two-year-old has racked up a fan base online, where more than 12,000 followers find Pixel's peculiarities precious

Page 20: Cover Story -- Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is huge in every way -- the muscle-bound ex-wrestler has starred in dozens of blockbuster films, has tons of projects in the works, millions of bucks and a brand new show about his childhood but he hasn't always been on top of the game -- the dynamo has gone through so many tough times and bad decisions they would sink a lesser man but he's an open book about all of them and how he fought to get to the top every step of the way

Page 22: After a long break to raise her children, Michelle Pfeiffer is on the silver screen again and looking better than ever -- the 62-year-old is in a new film called French Exit, in which she plays a tragic widow who packs up and moves to Paris with her son -- the actress says to return and thrive in an industry formerly known as being obsessed with youth is a gift -- although her husband David E. Kelley has been behind dozens of hits like The Undoing and Big Little Lies, Michelle doesn't want to work with him because she's seen a lot of couples where they seem to have a great marriage, and then they work together and next year they're filing for divorce -- next up, Michelle will play Betty Ford in the upcoming series The First Lady

Page 24: A Texas grocery delivery driver got more than just shelter from the storm when her car became stuck in a customer's driveway -- the people who lived there took her in for five days and made her feel like part of the family

Page 26: Deep Focus -- stunning underwater pix from an unseen world

Page 32: Pet Projects -- family portraits get everyone into the picture -- photographer Tasha Hall creates "farmaly" photos, which include each and every one of the household where they've got two feet, four feet, paws, claws, hooves or wings

Page 34: While everyone loves a comfortable, cozy mattress, having a really good becomes more important with age because a bad one may leave you with aches, pains and posture imbalances but the problem is that these specialty mattresses are very expensive -- fortunately, Medicare may cover up to 80 percent of the cost if you go about this purchase the right way and you'll then be responsible for the remaining 20 percent, as well as any deductible

Page 40: Psychic Self-Defense -- many people are born with a psyche that is naturally sensitive -- there has been a modern-day rise in occultism and practicing psychics and the way of the world at this time had made many more people seek help -- this has produced a far greater awareness of the need to protect and defend ourselves when working in a magical or psychic context -- we are all constantly being bombarded with psychic vibrations, not all of them good

Page 42: 20 Things You Never Knew About Tiger Woods

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Jenny McCarthy is in high spirits as she preps to tape a new episode of The Masked Singer in L.A. (picture), Goldie Hawn works out in L.A. (picture), Jane Fonda has given up on getting hitched -- she has three failed marriages and being single means she can watch whatever she wants on TV, Kelly Clarkson admits that since her marriage soured she no longer considers marriage a fairy-tale thing and she can't imagine being married again, Charlize Theron admits she hasn't made the grade when it comes to homeschooling her kids Jackson and August, Patrick Schwarzenegger is looking to follow in the footsteps of his dad Arnold Schwarzenegger but says his dad hasn't offered any pointers when it comes to a career in showbiz, Bindi Irwin is close to welcoming her little wildlife warrior with husband Chandler Powell and her 17-year-old brother Robert Irwin has some opinions about his sister's ever-expanding figure saying she's massive

Page 45: Duchess Kate and Prince William hold video calls with folks shielding at home during the pandemic to discuss the positive impact of the COVID-19 vaccine (picture), Chrissy Teigen goes shopping with daughter Luna (picture), Mary-Kate Olsen finalized her divorce from French banker Olivier Sarkozy and she was spotted in NYC having dinner with businessman John Cooper, Gordon Ramsay is steamed after being diagnosed with arthritis, Jessie J has a new boyfriend with dancer and choreographer Max Pham Nguyen, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin dropped a bombshell -- they've welcomed their sixth child via surrogate

Page 46: We all get a bit snippy at times, but if you tend to fly into a rage, it's not good for your health or friendships -- here are some simple anger-management techniques you can do any time

Page 47: Curious Earthlings have always been hungry for movies about the moon and its mysteries -- Cat-Women of the Moon, A Trip to the Moon, The Right Stuff, First Man, Gravity, Apollo 13, Hidden Figures

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [hit her with the shameless party host girl's DMs after literally no time since she was humiliated] Jimmy: It's looking like we need a new scale just for her Janis: seriously Janis: where's the rock she was meant to crawl under and die Janis: 🧠 her with it Jimmy: we probably smashed or hid it when we trashed the place Jimmy: what else do you wanna do about this? Janis: parents are right amateurs Janis: can't even take her 📴 away Janis: what do we do Janis: the DMs are peaking atm, really annoying when I'm trying to sort customers from timewasters Jimmy: I could post hers, but she'd probably take pride in the promo Jimmy: fake 👰💍🤵? Janis: yeah Janis: when your last lad would untag himself from anything you tagged him in and not take a photo with you Janis: that kinda shit is EVERYTHING to them Janis: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: where'd I get a fake 👗 Jimmy: you said you didn't know her, been busy, have you? 😏 Janis: erm shut up, you know they're all the same and it was a generalization Janis: a fair one, but still Jimmy: 👌 babe Janis: [dogwalking photo like there, still busy, thank you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 🐶🌭💦 #kinkunlocked??? Jimmy: [a picture of Twix with his hands over her ears like shh] Janis: Oh no Janis: do I ring childline or RSPCA? 😏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: how lonely you've been without me Jimmy: one would be a well longer chat than the other Janis: not been 🐶 levels of pining for you Janis: but my ability to fake it if necessary hasn't gone away Jimmy: write me a better DM than hers and I'll put 'em side by side Janis: not hard Janis: even if you aren't as inspiring as me 😘 Jimmy: soz I meant to say write me a 🥇 one Janis: not been long enough you can act like you forgot who I am Jimmy: if Bill can't get me wearing tights and prancing about on stage for a fake ⚔ or 💔 then there's no chance of you managing it, mate Jimmy: so there's no act Jimmy: just don't know who you are Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, but the point is there is an act and it's clearly still needed Jimmy: 🖋 your 💌 when you're not too busy or owt Janis: [🔥 tweet that would get everyone talking about them as a them again] Janis: like I said, piece of piss Jimmy: [cue a 🔥 exchange cos obvs he's gotta pull his weight and prove how easy it is for him too it's not like he missed her or anything NOPE] Janis: always a pleasure doing business with you Jimmy: pleasure would be all mine if we were done but Janis: that would mean life was fair, wouldn't it Jimmy: that would mean any dickhead could crack on to any other with an @ and it'd make 'em #fated Janis: the point is to put out the opposite and keep the @s from other dickheads to a minimum, I'm aware Janis: so what's step 2 this time Jimmy: you're gonna have to 🙄 at me in person Jimmy: how massive of an audience do you want? Janis: MASSIVE Janis: not only do I get to shout that at you Janis: 🔫 as many inbox lurkers as possible in one 🎯 Jimmy: had my 🤞 you'd say that Jimmy: Alright, that's work ❌ unless you've got nowt but 👴👵 or 🤰👶 in your inbox Janis: sadly, my inbox is about as diverse as 💙 Janis: some 👴 but mostly their sons and grandsons, like Jimmy: leaving me their daughters Janis: you're welcome Janis: only a few who took Mia's casual homophobia to 💘 which is a bit 😬 but you know Jimmy: hang on, there are people who take owt she 🗨s to 💘??!! Janis: ask the other gals Janis: between the 😭 Jimmy: come on, they'd need a 💘 Jimmy: instead of just being 🧫 with hair Janis: 😏 Janis: alright, decent description Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: never been much of a 🖋💕 Jimmy: reckon you might have the wrong 👻 Janis: or Bill has possessed you Janis: without permission is a bit #metoo of him but Janis: different times, you know Jimmy: without buying me a drink, he would an' all Jimmy: that's what I get for having an earring Janis: did he start that or what Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: 💰 on him taking the credit Janis: invite him to a dinner party, or whatever that game is Jimmy: fuck's sake, we don't have to have a dinner party to show everyone we're still #goals do we? Janis: I sincerely hope not Janis: they'd be the FUSSIEST guests Jimmy: nah chuck them cotton wool balls in a bowl instead of crisps or 🔑🔑🔑 Janis: grim Janis: fake 👰💍🤵 is one thing Janis: playing 🏡 is just silly Jimmy: What are we gonna do then? Jimmy: I dunno where the fuck a MASSIVE crowd of our dickhead fans are Janis: lemme 🔭 Jimmy: Tah, if I point mine towards the park I'll probably get arrested Janis: not redeeming that rep for you Janis: have limits Jimmy: I get it 👀 out your window only works if you've seen a murder and you're the one with the dodgy ankle, not me Janis: just saying, you'll want people to think you're in it for the 🐶s Janis: it's gonna be another bullshit party Janis: all there ever is Jimmy: Alright Janis: just working out which will be the biggest Jimmy: been in your DMs too long, girl Janis: ha ha Janis: though sending them back size comparisons is a solid idea Jimmy: it ain't been long enough for you to forget how many 🥇💡 I have Jimmy: pick the one that'll be the most bearable, word and 📷 will get round Janis: I think she'll be at this [slightly smaller basic party] one but there will be more people at [larger basic party] this one Janis: true though Janis: but they'll all be shit Jimmy: are you gonna smack her? Janis: jealousy isn't very goals Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: yeah but even if I'd LOVE to, not gonna have it looking like that's why Janis: so unlikely Jimmy: if you'd love to but you reckon you can't, we won't go wherever she is Janis: s'different for lads Janis: you're a pussy if you don't, I'd be a psycho if I did Janis: we can hit multiple potentially, max coverage, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll crack on building an assault course she can fall off Janis: cheers Janis: [party] is near-ish the CG, go there first makes sense Jimmy: loads of ways to 💀💀💀 ourselves and then just haunt it Janis: caffeine OD, you mean or? Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't possessed me an' all Janis: then fill me in on the poisons you keep next to the caramel syrup, like Jimmy: if I wanted to make your heart beat faster there's no need to make you a latte Jimmy: and for stopping it, there's no need to use ☠ that's Bill's ™ Janis: definitely 🤓 flirting Jimmy: send it to her, she must be 💔🎻😭 by now Janis: is bound to be missing me as well Jimmy: 🤞 she tweets her 💕 for you so I can give it a retweet Janis: lazy back in style then Jimmy: is it? Janis: I'm asking you Jimmy: how would I know? Jimmy: got my own 😎🚬 Janis: 👌 got your 15mins Janis: made up for you Jimmy: if I did I wouldn't be 🗨 to you Janis: 💔🎻😭 I'm sure Jimmy: save it for our fake breakup, Jillian Janis: naturally I'll be living my best life Janis: anything more tragic? think not Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you've been possessed by my ex, not fuming she's dead but not chuffed by the idea of going to a party with her, so wrestle back control Janis: shit at accents Janis: not gonna try to #trigger you Jimmy: she weren't much of a talker, you're alright Janis: don't need the details, you're alright too Jimmy: I'll put my picture I was painting you in the bin then Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: Oi, I definitely already put the bank statements in Janis: this is the part where I make you buy me shit I don't need then Janis: alright Jimmy: I'll give you a bit to crack on 💭🤔 Janis: if the list ain't double-sided, I've fucked up Jimmy: 🐴🍾👠💍👜💄👗💎🏎🏠🏖 Jimmy: ✈🦷🐅💐👶🦪🚢🖼⌚️ Janis: 👏 Janis: I'll flog most of it Janis: great rate on 👶 Jimmy: and the 🐅 Janis: I wanna keep the 🐅 Jimmy: 🤞 it eats the 🐴 before you get weirdly attached Jimmy: jealousy ain't goals you said, and I would be Janis: feed you sugar cubes if you really want Jimmy: then I'd have to buy myself new 🦷 an' all Janis: they work last I checked Jimmy: til you rot 'em out my head, we'll be proper #goals us Janis: one way to put people off Janis: long term Janis: have to keep doing this 'til the damage really sets in Jimmy: if only you were sweeter 💔 Janis: unlucky Janis: surprised you ain't moved yet Jimmy: nah, you taste nice really Jimmy: unlike that bitter 💊 Janis: obvs 👍 Janis: weird they're not dying to get rid of yous Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: crack on with fucking your co-workers tah very much Jimmy: need a new mum and address obvs Janis: #whenorientationdrags Jimmy: #whenyouvelostyourtouchbecauseyouaintallowedtoslaplassesonthearseatthephotocopierthesedays Janis: #romanceisDEAD Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be why he keeps getting ghosted Janis: won't get my ma involved then, even though step-sister is ultimate goals in ALL lad's books Janis: she's the 👑 of that Jimmy: if they look like you, yeah Jimmy: not like some of the ones he'd have stuck me with if he could keep a missus around Janis: can't even fuck then, what is the point Jimmy: can chuck 👶 and 🐕 at them Jimmy: they might even live Janis: don't even have to pay 'em Janis: skint equivalent of the nanny, clearly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: now I'm just gutted about my lack of a new dad, thanks a lot Jimmy: take mine Janis: he'll take me out for 🍦 WITHOUT piping my mum?! Janis: yay Jimmy: I dunno what your mum looks like but I've seen you, it's a safe 💰 on yeah Jimmy: say you've been on holiday and it's a tan that'll fade, you'll be alright Janis: make her go along with the babysitter line Janis: always a good one Jimmy: nowt could go wrong Janis: you're being the snobby LiLo twin no swapsies Jimmy: only 'cause you can't do accents Janis: neither could she Janis: I'm just 😎 than you Jimmy: you just wanna pierce my other ear and cut my hair Janis: you do need a haircut Jimmy: bollocks do I Janis: 😏 Jimmy: find loads of yours in owt I've worn AND wake up with it in my mouth Jimmy: it'd take the piss trying to murder you Janis: with this perma-tan? Janis: still get away with it, don't worry Janis: anyway, I'll 💀 you first Jimmy: so you keep promising Janis: time and a place is all I need, new boy Jimmy: if you need a written invite I'm sure whoever's party this is can at least manage to 🖋 your name, Jenna Janis: wouldn't 🤞 Janis: am a vampire though so, at least gotta wave me in Jimmy: good thing you scrub up decent then Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: gonna teach me how to sign it if I make sure you're saying it right in Irish? Jimmy: about equal as useful skills go probably Jimmy: unless your next fake boyfriend is deaf and then I'll be fuming duh Janis: gonna make that happen now, obvs Janis: gonna be a tough stalk but got no doubt in my skillz Jimmy: brb 😭 Jimmy: *🥊 Jimmy: 💪🏆 obvs Janis: I'll tell him you're so 💪🏆 Jimmy: tell everyone how well hard I am, double meaning works for lads and lasses Janis: don't wanna come across as protest too much though Janis: fine line Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll leak my nudes Janis: not gonna hurt your rep Jimmy: I know, but we're trying to clear my DMs not encourage lasses to send more Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I do it when we've been together a bit and I've let myself go Janis: gut covering most of it? Janis: good idea Jimmy: works for Mr Lucas Jimmy: I bloody miss that stud Janis: will 🤞 mine you get at least one date with him 'fore you piss off then Jimmy: SO romantic that Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not like the prospect of being alone with him actually makes my skin crawl Jimmy: 'course not, you know how lucky you are Jimmy: and dead special Janis: sound like his lines Jimmy: we're that #connected OMG Janis: 💫🔮 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: @ me as a 👻 when he does you in though Jimmy: as fake girlfriend's go Janis: you done this before? Jimmy: What? Janis: fake 💕 Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Dunno Janis: just trying to gage how much of a compliment it is Jimmy: how much of a compliment do you want? Janis: fake ones don't interest me Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: saying if you don't wanna say it, I don't wanna hear it Jimmy: I don't say owt unless I want to Janis: me either Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: weren't a request or anything Jimmy: can be Janis: it wasn't Jimmy: Alright Janis: meet you later then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: they been in today Jimmy: are we gonna start asking questions we know the answer to now or what? Janis: not the most fun game 2 people can play but Jimmy: but? Janis: both too busy for fuck all else Jimmy: oi, I'm NEVER too busy for you 💕 Janis: that's the official story Janis: also surely 🥇 if I don't distract you from your 💰 Jimmy: 🥇 that you do Janis: hmm Janis: might have to wait on that Janis: my dog walking look ain't one, no doubt Jimmy: it is if my 😍 say so Jimmy: and it were you who said they chase lads and try and all that bollocks, you don't have to, that's why it's goals Janis: what time does your shift end today anyway? Jimmy: I'm closing that's why you got to see my 🐕📷 earlier Janis: she's cute Jimmy: @ her Jimmy: reckon my sister's made her one by now Janis: don't even Janis: Gracie used to have one for every cat we had and they all had a different 'voice' Janis: sign of trouble to come, tbh 🤪 Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: compelling narrative, very 🧼 lives they were apparently living Jimmy: maybe Bill's 👻 will follow her round for a bit, leave me to my 🎭 Janis: obviously got bullied out of that behaviour ages ago, soz Jimmy: like the bollocks Mia has her doing ain't even more Shakespearean Janis: regardless, she's up her 😽 instead now Janis: cats are gutted Janis: all that graft for nothing Jimmy: lovely Jimmy: such a way with words he'll be after you Janis: 'cos you've been soliloquizing this whole time Janis: he's well impressed with me already tah Jimmy: one word for it 😏 Janis: 🛑😂 Jimmy: soz that verbally wanking off these customers for tips don't roll off the tongue in the same way but Jimmy: customer service ain't come a very long way Janis: I get it Janis: worst part of the day is talking to the owners Jimmy: next place I'm fully committing to fake deaf mute Janis: I would Jimmy: back up north they'll be thick enough to believe it were hereditary and stuck me down suddenly while I were gone Janis: could always have one off if you wanna go for a bit of realism Jimmy: most of 'em ain't heard me say nowt any road Jimmy: no need to come for Vinnie's entire brand Janis: you always had the mute part down then Jimmy: that a question? Janis: if you liked the obvious one earlier, can be Jimmy: you heard me say I don't say owt unless I want to Jimmy: unless you've got the deaf bit down yourself Janis: a plot twist too far, I reckon Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 if you're faking being that shit at signing Janis: cheek Janis: you're obviously a bad teacher Jimmy: would be if you were getting me to teach you things you already know, yeah Janis: that'd just be silly Jimmy: nowt close to the biggest load of bollocks we've done though Janis: don't remind me Jimmy: alright, what can I remind you of? Janis: our 🏆👑💪🥇 moments, obviously Jimmy: that's LITERALLY all of 'em Janis: DUH Jimmy: I get it, you want a soliloquy Janis: double-sided Jimmy: [is a nerd so does write her one] Janis: not gonna mark it Janis: can't do it how Lucas does, 'course 💔 Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: you said you couldn't write Jimmy: and? Jimmy: I can't Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: you get what you ask for, just the kind of fake boyfriend I am Janis: you can do my English homework for the foreseeable then Jimmy: he'll know it's me but if that's alright with you Janis: oh yeah, your connection Jimmy: that and the quality'll go way up Janis: why I'm asking Janis: got that much brain, like Jimmy: don't need loads to be better than whatever 💌 you've done for Lucas before Janis: fuck off Jimmy: What, you're gonna pretend you give a shit now? Or just fake that you're offended that I know you don't Janis: don't call me thick, 'cos I ain't, is what Jimmy: I didn't Janis: Good as Jimmy: Where? Janis: alright, we can drop it Jimmy: you mean you wanna drop it 'cause I said nowt of the sort Jimmy: go on then Janis: shut up Janis: you were taking the piss regardless Jimmy: no I weren't Jimmy: you had the hump regardless, more like Janis: this is helping Jimmy: What's your problem? Janis: what's yours Jimmy: I asked you first Janis: Don't be annoying Janis: clearly, I thought you were taking the piss, if you ain't, then whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: actually leave you to it now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: nah Janis: you're throwing 💋s I'm throwing 🦠s Jimmy: can you not chuck 💀👑 and her mates about tah, got enough tidying up to do Jimmy: be hair everywhere Janis: sweep it up, stick it back on Janis: pay fortunes for that, well decent tip Jimmy: 🧹💰💰 Janis: don't do TOO good a job, or you will be stuck for life Janis: definitely not the point Jimmy: 🤞 even Ian ain't that useless Janis: statistically impossible that there's no bitch in his office with low self-esteem Jimmy: he's had enough time to wear away any lass who had a bit if there weren't Janis: any day now Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: what you going back for Janis: the weather? Jimmy: 🌧✔ Jimmy: got that here an' all, bighead Janis: alright Janis: can't hear all of a sudden Jimmy: maybe you got water in your ears from all the 🌧 we've been having Janis: I meant you, ignoring my ? dickhead Janis: but could be Jimmy: I've got a mum, don't I? Jimmy: will that do you for an answer? Janis: if you want Jimmy: not really, she's well shit Jimmy: but until Ian pulls his finger out and puts a 💍 on another lass' she's the only one I've got Janis: must be Janis: why'd she let your dad take your kid brother Jimmy: didn't @ her beforehand Janis: why'd you come with him then Jimmy: Why would I leave them alone with him? Janis: if he's done a bunk with some kids, then they won't be with him long Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not 📺 you can leave it out Janis: Fine Janis: done Jimmy: are you? 👏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: don't whatever me about my own life, I've got the 🎻🎻 living it, dickhead Jimmy: you ain't more bored than me Janis: I stopped talking ages ago Janis: you don't need to say no more Jimmy: and I gave you a 👏 for it, you after a 🏆 an' all now? Janis: right Jimmy: 🏆 then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't bother about later, alright Jimmy: I'm already bothered about it Jimmy: don't piss about, how's that? Janis: then mute your phone for the evening or until I am Jimmy: I'm not changing my plans just 'cause it's taken you this long to realise I've got a shit mum and a shit dad Janis: then you can go by yourself or realise you don't have much of a plan without my help Jimmy: funnily enough, I already knew I couldn't do this single handed Janis: don't chat to me like shit regardless of however much your life is Jimmy: don't ask me questions if you can't hack the answers Janis: Just don't answer if you don't want to Janis: that's your rule, apparently Janis: don't bullshit you have when you've just been cagey about it, I said alright, so move on Jimmy: it were you who couldn't shut up fast enough, not me Janis: you literally asked me to Janis: why would I keep on Jimmy: I haven't asked for nowt Janis: 'you can leave it out' Janis: so I did Janis: then I weren't interested enough Janis: I hit a nerve, it was an accident, so fuck off and deal with it or drop it Jimmy: what would you like me to deal with, that my mum can't do nowt or that I dunno if she would even if she could do? 'Cause that's where we were going with your bollocks assessment of my life story there Jimmy: they're as useless to me as each other Janis: She did the bunk, not your dad Jimmy: she did one first Janis: right Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I don't reckon he's involved, unless she found him on her way out Janis: your dad know where she is, or was that the point Jimmy: does it sound like he tells me owt he knows? Janis: you'd probably knew if he knew Janis: crap at hiding that kind of stuff Jimmy: is he? Janis: all adults are, especially the stuff they want to keep from you Jimmy: 1. can barely call him an adult 2. he can't lord it over us without telling us, that'll be what he wants to do Janis: yeah, so he don't know Janis: if he could call your mum crap for this, then he would, you'd never hear the end of it Janis: even if smug silence was his style, still loud Jimmy: he calls her all sorts and his girlfriend's never hear the end of it either Janis: is that just male tears 'cos she left HIM though Jimmy: it suits him, when it don't, might be a different story Janis: counts as foreplay for 'em, father of the year, sure Jimmy: I can't make a 🏆 for him an' all, I ain't finished making all yours Janis: you can buy mugs Janis: just so you know Jimmy: WHAT??! Those things I stare at all day?! Janis: yeah, ikr Janis: world's best [insert title here] Jimmy: who does that work for? Janis: never have my name Janis: unlikely they have 'fake girlfriend' so you know Jimmy: never been nowhere how the fuck would I know what the world's got to offer Jimmy: be a pisstake that Janis: ✔ here off the bucket list Jimmy: chuffed to bits, like Janis: how could you not be Jimmy: 💀💀💀 inside Jimmy: and out 👻 Janis: don't stop me living and loving every second Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: feels great Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: right laugh now you've got the 💕 an' all Janis: why else would you pick me Jimmy: ? Janis: 'cos I'm a well known laugh a minute Jimmy: you owe me loads if that ain't all chat but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: yeah, be about right Janis: you weren't wrong, anyway Jimmy: sounds fake that Janis: just saying, whatever you heard or reckoned, about me being sad enough to agree, probably spot on so there we go Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: you either thought I'd be up for this fake dating bollocks because I legit needed a beard or 'cos I had fuck all else on Jimmy: don't be a twat Janis: I'm not, it's comforting, dickhead Jimmy: it's bollocks, nowt else Janis: let me be nice Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know why I asked you and it's nowt to do with any of that Jimmy: I didn't even reckon you'd say yeah, alright? Janis: had no reason to say no Jimmy: there are loads but it's a bit late now Janis: you know why I said yes as well Janis: so yeah, don't matter Jimmy: no I don't Janis: oi Janis: I didn't take the opportunity to make you say it, why should I now Jimmy: I didn't say you had to tell me, I said I dunno Janis: yes you do Jimmy: stop it Janis: what? Jimmy: I just said I don't, it's nowt to argue about Janis: why you asked'll be why I said yes Janis: it's not hard Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: rude Jimmy: how am I? Janis: how aren't you? Jimmy: THAT'S rude Janis: what you get Janis: weren't interested in nice Jimmy: you weren't being nice Janis: how weren't I? Jimmy: how were you? Janis: 🙄 Janis: truce Jimmy: are you gonna keep being a dickhead after I agree? Janis: don't you trust me Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: 🥇 one Jimmy: I keep telling you, girl, you can't give 🏆🥇 to yourself Jimmy: keep trying to put me out of a job, well trustworthy that is Janis: you keep complaining about how many I need Janis: called being helpful Jimmy: now you're slagging off my work ethic Jimmy: that's called 💔 Janis: finding fault in EVERYTHING I do now Janis: very rude Jimmy: you started it Janis: No I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: go have a look Janis: do I have to? Jimmy: can't make you from here Janis: that's called 💔 Jimmy: I know 🎻 Janis: what have you been doing Janis: case I need to act like I know Jimmy: you do Jimmy: #🎨 Janis: right Janis: covers all sins Janis: ☕🖋💘 Jimmy: tell me then Janis: tell you what? Jimmy: It's the same question, my dear Janis: oh, all the 🎨 I've been doing Janis: 🏃🐕🏋️🥊 Janis: repeat Jimmy: I should probably post some, remind me when I get back to mine Janis: the fans demand it Jimmy: won't be very #goals for them to be reckoning you've only inspired 💭💕 Jimmy: or true Janis: what are you posting Janis: do I get a preview Jimmy: do you want one? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come here, I'll reenact it for you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: don't worry I'm not ripping off Titanic Jimmy: gotta leave something for the 💭💕 Janis: have a job to steam up an entire cafe Janis: even with the necessary equipment Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: definite health and safety hazard Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: get it now Janis: your manager is a CLOSE 🥈 to Lucas and you want attention Jimmy: your guess is as good as mine, mate Jimmy: never seen him Janis: 🤨 Janis: is CG a front for 💰🧺 Jimmy: might be Jimmy: or he's a 👻 an' all and it's getting crowded ⚰ with me and Bill pissing about Janis: intriguing Janis: 😍 Jimmy: don't dump me for a shyer 👻 Janis: not trying to work my way up your corporate ladder Jimmy: unless that's a euphemism, you're alright Janis: maybe that's the kind of work-related sexy talk your dad is going for Janis: not the one Jimmy: 🤢 Jimmy: can I call in sick off the back of that? Janis: I think so Jimmy: fucking can't though 'cause you're meeting me here UGH Janis: could meet you at yours if I was 💀👑 and knew where it was Jimmy: it were you who said the party was near here Janis: it is Jimmy: not gonna piss off back home then, am I? Jimmy: don't miss Ian that much Janis: power through then, baby Jimmy: help me then Jimmy: you're so 💪🏆🥇 Janis: what do you need? Jimmy: If I knew that I'd be 💪🏆🥇 an' all and I wouldn't need you Jimmy: but I do Janis: tell me when your next break is Janis: and I'll see what I can do Jimmy: [gives her a time for when it's meant to be which I hope is soon for both their sakes] Janis: alright, I'll have dropped the majority of the pack by then so I can do it Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 'course Janis: you owe me a preview Jimmy: 💭💕 til then Janis: easy Jimmy: for you, you ain't carrying ☕ about Jimmy: or making it, #extra🌡don't reckon you want a preview of my newest burn scars Janis: don't hurt yourself Janis: or I'll have to prioritize nursing you Jimmy: it's my turn but Janis: you had a long weekend Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: right Janis: gotta keep being 💪🏆🥇 Jimmy: how's your ankle? you never said Janis: it's alright Jimmy: alright actually or alright how you say it is when you don't wanna talk about it? Janis: alright like it'd probably be better if I could rest it more but I can't so it'd as good as it can be Jimmy: Oi, you're resting it tomorrow Jimmy: tonight goes without saying Janis: you know what I do for my 💰 yeah Jimmy: yeah and I'll do it Jimmy: if I ain't about my sister will Janis: you don't need to Janis: and you can't sign her up without asking Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: I weren't asking for your permission or hers Jimmy: you're resting and she's giving me a hand Janis: you're in charge now, yeah Jimmy: soz I'm SUCH a #lad Jimmy: you can have a go at me when you're better Janis: see how I feel about it then Jimmy: me an' all, see if you're a 🥇 patient or not Janis: you know I'm not Jimmy: that were then Janis: you think I'll be better behaved now? Janis: such an optimist Jimmy: I might just be a realist ☀ girl Jimmy: I reckon I can make it happen Janis: you're being very distracting Jimmy: don't 💀💀💀 it'd really take the piss and go against owt I'm trying to do Janis: do my best Janis: even if it goes against Bill's plan Jimmy: I've got my own for you, he don't get a say unless he's #teambedrest Janis: 💀💀💀bed Jimmy: not til I've fixed your ankle and behaviour Jimmy: soz Janis: jesus Jimmy: I get that you don't wanna wait that long, but I'll do my best an' all Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: it's been too long Janis: know it's only been days but Jimmy: it's alright, I'm gonna look after you Janis: what about you Jimmy: what about me? Janis: you need looking after too Jimmy: I sent out my SOS a bit ago and you said you'd be there, don't need nowt else, do I? Janis: you're gonna make me bedrest on my own? Jimmy: you won't be very rested with me and Bill crowding you Jimmy: take all my jobs seriously, me Janis: I'd rather have you Janis: but okay Janis: reluctant 😇 Jimmy: I'll be about keeping an 👀 Janis: Good Janis: make sure you have something to see Jimmy: be a shit nurse if you can't find me whenever you need owt Janis: you're very dedicated to all your jobs, I remember Jimmy: still should've checked on you before now Janis: nah Janis: had no reason to Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: alright, being 🥇 fake boyfriend-nurse would've maybe kept her out of your DMs a day longer Jimmy: til she breaks her leg or something 🤞 I'll be back round for a house call Janis: don't be doing house calls for no one else Jimmy: I ain't doing 'em for you either, that 🚍 took fucking ages Janis: basically live in the 🏞 Jimmy: and you can't do an assault course 💔 gutted Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Calm down, it were my fault Janis: it was stupid, is what it was Jimmy: yeah, I were Janis: nah Janis: I was the one who fell on my arse Jimmy: don't be making it sound like you and Ella are in the same boat Jimmy: that's like saying it's my own fault Asia dropped me on my arse Janis: it's sizeable Janis: 🍑 Jimmy: you giving me a compliment or taking the piss? Janis: which would you prefer Jimmy: you meant it how you meant it, Jules, nowt to do with me Janis: 😏 Jimmy: are you not gonna tell us? Janis: can't a girl have any secrets Jimmy: if that's the kind of fake girlfriend you wanna be Janis: I can't just compliment you Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's not fake at all Jimmy: I won't tweet it to the fans then Jimmy: everything you say to me don't have to be fake Janis: like everything we do Jimmy: I'm not nursing you back to health 'cause it's #goals Jimmy: I know it winds you up not being able to do nowt and I want you to feel better Janis: I actually appreciate it Janis: you know that Jimmy: but I'm not doing it for that either Jimmy: you can be a twat if you want or if it hurts, I don't care Janis: if your sister does the walks, I'll give her the cash, I'm not gonna be that twat at any rate Jimmy: she gets 💰 for doing ours, no need for you to lose out Jimmy: and before you start, it's Ian paying out Janis: I'll discuss it with her Jimmy: or you'll just listen to me and leave it out, how about that? Jimmy: I'll only get her to give me a hand if I've got work Jimmy: write your schedule down or whatever Janis: alright, hang on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [amalgamating your calendar for what dogs needs walking and when tomorrow] Janis: even if you could do the AM, then I'd be rested enough to do the afternoon shift Janis: [list of some of the dogs] these ones only really need taking out, so I can do then and sit whilst they 💩 Janis: but [other list] these ones actually want the exercise Jimmy: no bloody wonder it ain't healed Jimmy: is there a 🐕 about you ain't walking? steady on, dickhead Janis: just LOVE 💰💰💰 obvs Janis: and not being in the house Jimmy: Oi where's that list I done? scroll up Jimmy: you can buy us a 🐅 and whatever else it were Janis: bet 🐅 need LOADS of walking Janis: giving yourself another job there, boy Jimmy: let it eat my 🐕 and it won't be any extra Janis: definitely RSPCA Jimmy: crack on Jimmy: best place for it, can find a home that ain't full of dickheads Jimmy: maybe the dad in that one'll run it by 'em before it brings it back Jimmy: he* Janis: 🎁puppy? Janis: how cliche Janis: did you not give him your list? Jimmy: I don't give him nowt unless it's 🖕 obvs Janis: fair Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: rebel with the one cause, me Janis: ☕ Jimmy: 🛏⛓ duh Janis: remind me to check for sledgehammers before I get in bed with you again Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call it, don't let me stop you 😏 far as compliments go Janis: 😂 shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: alright, one more drop off then I'll be with you Jimmy: ⏲ but be careful, like Janis: 👀 open, I know Jimmy: you'll have loads of time to close 'em in a bit Janis: as long as I get to look at you for a bit before that Jimmy: I get it, as uniforms go, could've done worse Jimmy: tah @ my 👻 manager Janis: not my kink, thank you Jimmy: UGH fine I'll take it off, stop begging Janis: do you have a defibrillator? the 👵 are gonna be hitting the deck Janis: not in a suggestive way Jimmy: Oi I have that effect on 👴 an' all Janis: in yours dreams, babes Jimmy: in sirs Jimmy: and stop messing me about! Either you can read minds or you can't Jimmy: what's the truth, Jolene? Janis: only when the 🧠 is predictable Janis: 💁 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you aren't mad I like you for your ⚒ not your 🧠 Jimmy: get out of my head, you, how's a lad meant to stay fit and mysterious? Janis: far as the fans know Jimmy: steady on, that were almost a promise to keep my secrets there Janis: only the ones that are mutually beneficial Janis: neither of us needs to be outed for fake dating, s'why it works as a deal Jimmy: even if we were, nobody'd believe it, that's why it works Janis: exactly, if one of us went 😤 😠 😡 🤬 and tried to 💣💥 then we'd just look like we were chatting shit Janis: foolproof in that way at least Jimmy: if you wanna smack that lass I'll think of a way to make it #goals, nowt I can't Janis: alright, don't make me 🤤 Jimmy: don't you make me have to get a mop out Janis: 🚬 break, baby Janis: no work required Jimmy: alright, if you want me 🤤 an' all you're going the right way about it Janis: maybe you can take TWENTY minutes instead 🥴 Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: if you'll live Jimmy: don't reckon we do have one of them defibrillators Janis: depends as well, that Jimmy: yeah, can you take it or can't you? Janis: 'course I can Jimmy: 20 then Janis: loads I can do for you in 20 Jimmy: just come here Janis: [picture walking with no dogs like omw] Jimmy: already behaving for me? 🏆😍🤤 Janis: I just wanna see you Jimmy: [a picture like 👋 cos he's a nerd] Janis: rude Jimmy: soz I don't have any nudes to hand Janis: 1. amateur 2. not what I meant 3. that you look like that Jimmy: 1. Oi 2. maybe you should say what you mean 3. you're one to talk Janis: I did Jimmy: I'll let you off then Janis: really are 👮 aren't ya Jimmy: 🚔🚨 Jimmy: don't tell that lass I could have her in handcuffs Janis: not rushing into her inbox for anything, let alone that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she's such a dick Jimmy: I get now why she's so 😍 for me, she ain't got a clue about her angles Jimmy: right crime, that Janis: no angle is hiding that Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I could make her look #goals if there were a gun to my head Janis: shh, don't give her ideas Janis: not allowed to 💀 for her socials Jimmy: if she's listening, it'll be you who's getting 💀💀💀 Jimmy: soz I fucked you over by not being able to get enough of you Janis: I reckon I can handle that Jimmy: for 20 minutes yeah, you said Janis: maybe after that and all Janis: see how we feel, like Jimmy: see how you feel after you've been stuck in my bed for ages with me fussing over you, more like Janis: that too Jimmy: my 💰's on 🤬🤬🤬 Janis: not a bet I'd take Janis: too easy Jimmy: you don't reckon it'll be easy for me to make you 😍😍🤤🤤 again an' all? Janis: you reckon it will be? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: yeah, it's a question Janis: answer it Jimmy: answer mine Janis: how can I answer that Jimmy: with a yeah or a no Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 25% Jimmy: you making a 💕 scale now? Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Janis: sliding scale, that one Jimmy: you ain't got 🤤 or 😳 though Janis: UGH Janis: 😍 🥰 😳 🤤 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Jimmy: Where are you then? Janis: currently Janis: this dead-in-the-eyes one OBVS 😛 Jimmy: hot Janis: you're 😳 deffo Jimmy: piss off I'm always 😘 Janis: nah Janis: the steam Jimmy: is that a #kinkunlocked with you or what? Janis: just facts Janis: [making self seen in the window like hey] Jimmy: [immediately coming out to kiss her as if it's been years instead of days] Janis: [the most extra moment] Jimmy: [we'll allow it lads] Janis: [shit got intense] Jimmy: [yeah it really did and lbr even if it hadn't you'd still have missed each other] Janis: [casually missed you way too much to be comfortable with] Jimmy: [likewise and also feel bad about her ankle so we have lifted her off the ground during this makeout] Janis: [just rest up on this cafe like no one is watching oh you two] Jimmy: [not even putting on a show rn though we're just doing what we wanna BYE] Janis: [that's how it is from now tbh that's the tea] Jimmy: [sadly not doing everything that they wanna because you're in public thank you but being as extra as we can get away with] Janis: [just enjoy the time you have] Jimmy: [another shit party will be upon you soon enough, you can do whatever you want then] Janis: [casually not wanting to go when time is up] Jimmy: [stay for a bit gal you've got an ankle to rest] Janis: [so unnatural in this environment] Jimmy: [at least he can go off menu for your food and drink choices because christ knows] Janis: where are you now? Jimmy: on which scale? Janis: Both, if you like Jimmy: I don't think I need to tell you where I am on the 💕 one, wouldn't take a 🧠📖 Jimmy: you can probably feel where I am on the other an' all, reckon you're there yourself Janis: alright, fit and mysterious Janis: I get it Jimmy: is it a mystery that I don't wanna be here? Jimmy: must be a top actor 🏆🥇 Janis: your customer service voice won't be a turn-on, promise you that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: so you're not gonna leave me a tip? Janis: 😱 Janis: #diditallforthetip Jimmy: that a mystery an' all? Jimmy: you're losing your touch, girl Janis: psh Janis: no mystery, maybe I respect the hustle Janis: no, keep your money, no need to lose out Janis: yeah right Jimmy: 😏 Janis: shameless, some might say Jimmy: some will have done Jimmy: what are you gonna say? Janis: officially? Janis: sharing my location, OBVS Jimmy: officially there's never any mystery DUH Janis: so in-synch so trusting yeah Jimmy: unless it's #datenight 😱😱 Jimmy: a lad's allowed his secrets for a bit then Janis: a good idea for when we aren't obligated to SHOW UP to these bullshit parties Jimmy: I get it, you're still 😭 you still can't dance Jimmy: soon baby Janis: I can dance, you won't let me Jimmy: Oi, pick your moments I'm 😭 there ain't a nurse emoji Jimmy: how am I supposed to #flex? Janis: NO emoji can show how caring you are, babes Jimmy: BABE Jimmy: I need everyone to know I have the outfit Jimmy: ugh I'll have to get my 📷 out again, takes the piss, that Janis: GURL 😤 Janis: unless someone has a costume party for their birthday, you CANNOT Jimmy: 🥺 Janis: it's a tragedy Janis: will 👏 halloween 👏 hurry 👏 up Jimmy: that's every day when you're 👻💕🧛 Janis: for my 👀 only Janis: but I'll take some 🔥 shots without your consent, 'course Jimmy: how 🔥 can they be without MY help? Janis: RUDENESS! Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [IRL 😛] Jimmy: you've never looked more 🥇 or 🔥 Janis: shut up or publically declare it Jimmy: [cue some extra posts on socials] Janis: [extra ass reply about how hard it is to let him work like you don't mean it at all okay] Jimmy: [we're just flirting hardcore and we mean every word] Janis: how do you do this Janis: ignore all the 🤤 Jimmy: other than being a fake deaf mute? Janis: some of them must be at least a little 😜 though Janis: not all 🤨🤢🤮 Jimmy: why must they? Janis: odds Janis: not every customer can be Janis: well, maybe they can Jimmy: I ain't bothered, that's about me not them Jimmy: already got one work place romeo in @iantaylor8 Janis: fair Janis: be a weird one to be 💪🏆 about Janis: with your dad, anyway Janis: other barista boys, OBVS 🙄 Jimmy: worse than new boy, that Janis: not like you have nametags or anything Jimmy: [looks down at his like what bollocks does mine say today] Janis: you do all look much of a muchness Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're definitely like, top 3 though Jimmy: you're just being a dickhead now Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [💔 mime] Janis: very ungrateful Janis: still placed podium Jimmy: what do I always say? Janis: is that a trick question? Jimmy: yeah, if you pay attention to owt Jimmy: keep your 🥈🥉 Janis: I'm paying you plenty of attention Jimmy: if that's the best you can do, we can call it plenty Janis: 😒 Janis: erm, didn't BARELY 👀 at that other lad mopping up that spill for you for nothing Jimmy: very ungrateful, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: MEAN too Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: [comes over and gives her something like a 🍪 in a very flirty manner like am I though] Janis: ['bribery' but as per whispering so everything is saucier than it needs to be] Jimmy: [looks over at the tip jar and back at her with a little lol like] Janis: ['so pushy!' but a lol and a LOOK, and is obvs gonna pay at the end we're not cheeky] Jimmy: [always gotta give her a LOOK back but this one is even more extra cos we have to walk away at the same time] Janis: [actual pouting, like obvs in an OTT way but we know you mean it] Jimmy: [we all know he's gonna come back and kiss her for that pouty lip goodness because his manager is not around] Janis: [not like any customer didn't see you making out outside, live ya lives] Jimmy: [sadly the flatwhites aren't here but it gives us an excuse to have another moment™ when they are] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do some actual work but send LOOKS her way because it's been a long few days without the bae] Janis: I can head out Janis: 'til you're done Jimmy: none of the fans are here running a ⏲ far as I can 👀 Janis: just the ones who NEED everyone to know they NEED to be back in the office asap Jimmy: hang on, Mia's dad's here???! 😱😱 Janis: and you, without a lick of makeup on Janis: honestly, how are you going to catch a man, never mind keep one Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: doubt he's a bigger tipper than 💀👑 Jimmy: 1. I've always got my 🤡 face on 2. I LOVE him for his 💙 and values, tah very much Janis: 1. JUST his type, give or take a few shades towards the orange 2. big yikes sis Jimmy: would've thought it'd be the whiter the better, FULL of surprises, him Jimmy: can't wait to send him my nudes and how many words I can type a minute!! 🍆💦 Janis: oh, strictly FAKE tan honey Janis: lucky for you Janis: 🤞 you get IT Jimmy: legs uncrossed Jimmy: streaky with my bottled tan Janis: stop trying to make me jealous Jimmy: if you'd JUST learn to share we could sort that threesome Janis: sounds like a trio of 🥉 to me Jimmy: I won't have you talking about yourself like that, sweetheart Jimmy: put me out of a job Janis: fuck off 😂 Janis: 💭 up a better third and it could be 🥇 Jimmy: walking out would put me out of a job an' all 💔 Jimmy: unless my manager's our 3rd Janis: 👻🧛👻 Janis: every gals dream Jimmy: 🤞 you don't feel him more than you do me, that'd be my nightmare Janis: awh Janis: baby Jimmy: [sad face] Janis: stop it Janis: everyone gonna rush over with 💰 and I won't be able to get close Jimmy: [comes over under the pretence of cleaning up as if you need to be getting as close as you are to do that, boy] Janis: [just being over-friendly like OMG thank you SO much] Jimmy: [being OTT touchy feely in return but we know you're not really doing it for tips this time lol] Janis: you're trying to get me to 😳 on the scale, yeah Jimmy: keeping you on brand, every dickhead knows pink is your colour Janis: I suit every colour Jimmy: it's only hats you don't, head that big Janis: and hair Janis: a struggle Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: you're really getting put through it, yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: where is your care and attention now, honestly Jimmy: I've got struggles of my own, don't I? Janis: you mean I didn't make you feel better? Jimmy: 1. it's my job to make you feel better 2. I just wanna do that and I can't Janis: 1. **2nd or 3rd job though 2. then I'll go 'til you can 🤏 easier to miss you when you aren't right there Jimmy: 1. Depends how you're ranking 'em 2. 🤏 rude Janis: 1. 💍 to this one, I know 2. I meant it VERY nicely 😇 Jimmy: Where are you going then? Janis: 🤷 Janis: see where my 👣 take me, just quirky like that Jimmy: why are you trying to sabotage all my hard work? Jimmy: that ankle ain't meant to be taking you nowhere Jimmy: at least chuck an 👵 out of her 🦽 or nick a 🛒 off her put upon daughter/son/husband Janis: no 🏃💃 I promise Jimmy: 😒 Janis: trust me Janis: wouldn't do ANYTHING to prolong my bedrest Jimmy: I remember how much it did your head in Janis: some parts of it Jimmy: 🖋 me a list, it's not a bollocks ploy to get you to stay off your feet for a bit longer or owt, I'll TOTALLY read it Janis: only of the bits I didn't like Janis: gonna tell you what I did later Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [blows actual at him as she goes] Jimmy: [we're just watching her leave as per] Janis: earn those tips babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Imma hit up Bill for a 🖋 Jimmy: you should've said, I've had given you one Janis: know you've got a sharpie Janis: want a full feather and ink job Jimmy: bit rude of you to assume I don't have them in my pocket an' all Janis: you were very pleased to see me Jimmy: yeah Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: you can tell me the truth you know, I've worked out you're going dress shopping for the fake 👰💍🤵 Janis: LOVE to be that psychotic Janis: make 'em be my bridesmaids Jimmy: keep your 🥊 up in case you see that lass in there having a try on Janis: fight over the dress, the 🤵 Janis: definitely a romcom Jimmy: buy the one she 💀💀💀 Jimmy: * in Janis: hot Janis: she's short as fuck though, look ridiculous Jimmy: I'll wear it then Janis: hotter Janis: nurse outfit who? Jimmy: save that for the honeymoon, depending where we go depends what you manage to fall off but Janis: full-body cast is not condusive to a wedding LEWK or a good time Jimmy: would make you look fat Janis: well that's uncalled for Jimmy: soz they don't do slimline plaster casts, babes Janis: soz I said your arse was 🍑 Janis: you've taken that to heart, obvs Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: thicc or sensitive? Jimmy: both, obvs Janis: 👀🍵 Jimmy: why are you chucking pea soup at me? Janis: it's tea and I am sipping it, HUN Jimmy: you don't drink green tea, hun Janis: you can't take a compliment Jimmy: you ain't given me any Janis: umm Janis: are you forgetting sledgehammer Jimmy: I said that, you were trying to call me Kathy Bates, nowt complimentary there Janis: now you're just tearing other gals down Jimmy: she'll live Jimmy: if she still is Janis: probably not Janis: lucky cow Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: you know you're 🥵 Jimmy: that'll be the steam you like to go on about Janis: nah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: where's the thank you? Jimmy: that's not why you give compliments, dickhead Janis: it is Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: give me one at least Jimmy: I'm going to this party with you, that's a massive compliment Janis: you're going for you though Jimmy: I'm going so you can start your murder spree and I can watch Janis: oh 😳 Jimmy: the only kink of mine that lass'd ever unlock Janis: good Janis: she better not Jimmy: I'm not gonna dump you for her Janis: don't Janis: you have taste Janis: and a 🧠 Jimmy: you're the only fake girlfriend I want Janis: it works for me too Jimmy: good Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that while he's meant to working hard he's drawn a picture of her that's very complimentary because she wanted one and he obvs misses her] Janis: glad you didn't put that on any bitch's latte Janis: it's 🎨🖼 Jimmy: it'd take ages to do your hair, these #bossbabes have shit to do, Jasmine Janis: don't need 'em 😭 into it with 💚 Jimmy: only fun to make you jealous, obvs Janis: you've never made me jealous Jimmy: alright Janis: don't you sound unconvinced like that Jimmy: I won't when you convince me Janis: Easy Jimmy: go on Janis: why would I be jealous Janis: you don't wanna fuck her Jimmy: you know that now, you didn't when you were Janis: when do you think I was Jimmy: come on Janis: serious Janis: I told you on the bus what it was about Jimmy: alright Janis: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I said alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Jimmy: stop trying to have a 🥊 with me Janis: why you casting aspersions on my good name Jimmy: Why are you making up words? 🤓 Janis: gaslighter Janis: deffo a word Jimmy: 💀👑's fave Janis: that's me Janis: 💁 Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: yep Janis: jade green, you Jimmy: @ her she'll be well chuffed Janis: not fun, is it Jimmy: being her fave? I wouldn't know Janis: @ing her Jimmy: Depends Janis: making her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 duh Janis: not 💚 Jimmy: same thing Janis: that's why you reckon I'm so jealous Jimmy: leave it out Janis: alright Jimmy: you're not in the same boat as her Janis: tell me about it Janis: 🛶 to her 🚤 Jimmy: dunno nowt about 🚤 soz Janis: I'm so 💔 Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: Ian's been a letdown in every sense Janis: put it on the list Janis: or was it Janis: either way Jimmy: might use my sharpie to write it on his head so all the lass' have been warned Janis: DOESN'T HAVE A YACHT Jimmy: can't even spell it Jimmy: #thickANDnorthern Janis: do a doodle, babes Jimmy: I've told you, I've only got the one muse Jimmy: and I've done my 🎨 for the day any road Janis: fair Jimmy: @ him with your commissions, bound to find you dead inspiring an' all Janis: be a bit weird Janis: not even seen a 📸 Jimmy: be better off using your 💭😍 Janis: thought as much Janis: not gonna be a 💀👑 daddy Jimmy: who is? He's 💰💪🏆🥇💰 that one Janis: we could all wish Jimmy: we all DO, mate 🤞💭💕 Janis: s'weird Jimmy: that she wants to fuck her dad? Yeah obvs Jimmy: even if my mum's legged it and got 💰💰 I won't be suggesting it to her 💌 Janis: well, yeah Janis: but DaddyIssues™ in general Janis: how many of them are actually about it, fucked Jimmy: don't worry it ain't a #kinkunlocked Jimmy: we can leave my shit parents out of it Jimmy: save money on the fake 👰💍🤵 while we're there Janis: mine an' all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my mum is partial to a fake illegal wedding, so she'd stay away for the #vibe of it Jimmy: won't be offended, have that affect on mums, like Janis: 🥁 Jimmy: *🎻 Janis: 'course Janis: very concerned Jimmy: still be a better party than the one in a bit Janis: duh Janis: can't fake it better than we can Jimmy: they can't do nowt better, real or fake Jimmy: and we can't stop being #goals Janis: it's the fake happiest day of your life, how couldn't that beat hanging about real dickheads being real boring Jimmy: unless you've 🤰👶 before it then owt else is pointless by comparison Jimmy: gotta use all your fake happiness up on that Janis: not walking 'round with a pillow up my top for 9 months, tah Jimmy: SUCH a part timer, you Janis: of course you'd LOVE it Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you wouldn't let me do anything, it's the PERFECT time to get out the handcuffs Jimmy: SO soz I've stumbled on my calling and unlocked my ultimate kink, Janet! GOD Jimmy: no need to 🌧 on it Janis: just saying, WELL sure this is how accidents happen, 6/10 REAL babies come from these fake elaborate schemes Jimmy: it ain't my fault all you paddys are still using the pull out and pray method Janis: heathen Jimmy: it's the only thing my parents didn't fuck up, tah Jimmy: no need to get him involved in my sob story an' all Janis: 3 isn't a bad score Janis: unless you got more Jimmy: might be why she left, been ages if she just went to grab 🚬 or milk Janis: could be Janis: bit of a flair for the dramatic but then you'd make sense so Jimmy: dunno why she wouldn't have just had it first and left it with him an' all but Janis: as a baby being the wrong colour survivor, throw that out there Janis: giving her the credit of working it out before seeing it's face Jimmy: plot hole being that there ain't any black or asian people in the north Jimmy: they've got more sense Janis: know for a fact Bradford exists, seen the gritty dramas so, don't lie to me, boy Janis: not to mention the soul part of, you lot didn't know you had one before Jimmy: How far my mum did or didn't travel for her dick appointments is none of my business, girl Janis: not one for the family calendar, no Jimmy: far as the gossip goes, reckon it were a few streets one way or the other Jimmy: explain where all the 💰 were going if I had half siblings in every 🏠 along Jimmy: 🤞 my ex weren't one though, be a bit awkward Janis: awkward is one word for it Jimmy: at least I know her 👶 ain't mine Jimmy: could nick it though, when we need one, every dickhead knows all white people look alike Janis: and if she's your sister, just say your genes are that 💪 Janis: how old is it Jimmy: @ her that's something we might need to know Janis: just need to know how fake sad I need to be for the poor bitch Jimmy: it don't have 🦷 but neither does the dad so Jimmy: maybe his genes are that 💪 Janis: lord Jimmy: bit late to tell her about the pull out and pray thing Janis: helpful to console my sister when she next gets dumped Janis: least he had 🦷 babes Jimmy: chin up, Gracie Jimmy: weren't 👴 with no 💰 Jimmy: and you didn't 💍 soon as you turned 16 Janis: older lady Janis: interesting Jimmy: you reckon she did it to one up me? Janis: weird flex Jimmy: when I get Mr Lucas she'll be 💚 and 💔 Janis: you about that then Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: idk Jimmy: you obvs wanna know something, go on Janis: I don't Jimmy: 👌 I'll shut up Janis: me too Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party party Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: 🍺 🍻 🥂 🍷 🥃 🍸 🍹 🍾 Jimmy: that'd do Jimmy: sure you don't want 🍵 though? Janis: psh Janis: do you want to have a good time in the time we ain't faking it or do you wanna be wearing green in all the ways Jimmy: I'm trying to make sure you do, baby, nowt I wouldn't do to make you happy Jimmy: heard you LOVE 🍵 Janis: such a twat 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: bored though, does that count? Jimmy: does it count towards what? Janis: missing you Jimmy: I don't care why you wanna see me, just that you do Janis: I wanna see you Janis: more Jimmy: come back Janis: it's not fair Jimmy: ? Janis: I wanna be distracting Janis: but I don't Jimmy: you are, it don't matter if you're here or not Janis: should matter, a bit Jimmy: Oi, you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: I reckon Jimmy: 🧠📖 Janis: can we Janis: go bed first Janis: just this one time, like, not gonna complain Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: can do whatever you want Janis: but what do you want to do Jimmy: do I have to take back your 🧠📖🏆 or what? Janis: just Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Janis: good Jimmy: it will be when I'm not pissing about here serving ☕ for dickheads who aren't you Janis: ain't even gonna ask you to make me a 🍵 Janis: very serious Jimmy: I won't ask you to make me a 🥪 then, even though I'm SUCH a #lad Janis: fully expecting you to prove it in the other way so that's fine Jimmy: it ain't been long enough that I should need to prove owt but alright Janis: need/want, an argument we can have if you really fancy Jimmy: that's nerd flirting Janis: reckon it is Jimmy: we've FINALLY cracked it, babe Janis: she'll be SO proud Jimmy: do you reckon the 🏆 will be REAL gold? Janis: 🤞 Janis: then we can fuck on the 🚤 Jimmy: if you bother to learn chess when you're resting tomorrow she'll give you another one and then we can 💰💰 the yacht an' all Janis: 😍 Janis: it's a plan Jimmy: you gonna teach me after? Janis: 'course Janis: my fair lady Jimmy: I can't do the accent soz Janis: we'll work on it Jimmy: be a shit roleplay if not Janis: I don't want to be your rich daddy, FYI, so soz Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good Janis: plenty I do wanna do 'til you fuck off and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: do I get a preview or what? Janis: you know I've not punched her out for the dress yet but Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: [some saucy selfie from a changing room] Jimmy: you just said you didn't want me to 💀💀💀 Janis: I said I'd miss you when you did Jimmy: I'll miss you when I do Janis: thendon't miss me now Jimmy: then come here Janis: alright Jimmy: you're so Janis: you Janis: it's your fault Jimmy: I can take the blame easier than I do a compliment Janis: I don't have to compliment you Janis: or say anything I just Janis: dunno Jimmy: I'm crap with words but that don't mean you have to shut up an' all Jimmy: we can't both be mute Janis: I'm not better though so Janis: maybe we can Jimmy: you're alright Janis: thanks Jimmy: I get how sarcastic that sounded but it weren't Janis: I know Janis: it's easier being fake Jimmy: is it? Janis: for what to say, like Jimmy: any bollocks will do Janis: you reckon any of them mean it Jimmy: probably shouldn't open up a Q&A about it Janis: obvs Janis: how fake is your relationship, lemme know gals Jimmy: start a twitter poll Janis: later Janis: got somewhere to be right now Jimmy: right Janis: 5 minutes Jimmy: Oi no 🏃 Janis: 10 then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: least I didn't get home Jimmy: Do you need to? Janis: never Jimmy: I don't have a dress you can borrow Janis: you might not have noticed Janis: but I was in a changing room in that picture Jimmy: yeah I was well bothered about your surroundings Janis: thought as much Janis: all about the aesthetic, as per Jimmy: what else are you thinking? Janis: you Jimmy: if that's a question I'm thinking how long 10 minutes is Janis: wasn't meant to be but Janis: same Jimmy: are you gonna hang about this time? Janis: depends Jimmy: go on Janis: if you want me to Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: I wanna be with you Jimmy: Then stay Janis: alright Jimmy: it's a bit quieter now, you won't have to 🥊👵 for access to the tip jar Janis: my main concern Janis: of course Jimmy: no need to be a mind reader to know that Janis: good thing you don't need to read my mind to do any of this Jimmy: there's nowt I'd need to read your mind for, I've got my own Lucas fantasies, tah Janis: now who can't share Jimmy: never said I could or would Janis: 😤 Janis: what's yours is mine, babes Jimmy: you wanting me for my 🧠 brain sounds fake Janis: wanting you to give me things is the REALEST Jimmy: the 🐅 is on order, my dear Janis: but where is 👴 Janis: oh yeah, ⛓ in your other bed Jimmy: how many beds do you reckon I've got? Jimmy: he'll be ⛓ next to you and you're welcome Janis: ⛓ to me? 🥺 Jimmy: Alright Janis: awh baby Janis: you're the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: come prove it Jimmy: or you come here and we can go round the back so I don't have to prove it to anyone but you Janis: how could I refuse an offer like that Jimmy: you might do if having everyone 👀 is a #kinkunlocked Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'd be a shit nurse if I can't manage that Janis: never Janis: [show up] Jimmy: [thank god his manager isn't here cos we don't need to be getting in trouble today] Janis: [got time for that lads] Jimmy: [it's not a cockblock we need rn] Janis: [live ya lives tbh] Jimmy: [it's deserved] Janis: [gotta get to this shit party in a while] Jimmy: [we'll do our best to try and let you have some fun there too but yeah] Janis: [you know you will, gotta pretend to be put upon] Jimmy: [mmhmm] Janis: [meanwhile, chill whilst he finishes here] Jimmy: [try not to be too distracting by which I mean please be very distracting haha] Janis: [casually so obvious to everyone what you just did like] Jimmy: [once again devastated Mia isn't here to be devastated but we can't have everything] Janis: [sure one of your coworkers/if not multiple can be trusted to say something] Jimmy: [Pete would NEVER but there's bound to be loads of annoying barista girls who work there] Janis: [can't all be good boys] Jimmy: [shoutout to him for blatantly covering for Jimothy there because I doubt very much you were due another break sir] Janis: [you'd be so lucky, casual MVP tho] Jimmy: [we stan Pete and this lifelong friendship between you and your future children so] Janis: everyone 🔊 you, mute boy Jimmy: your fault, that Janis: 🤏 yours Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: what's the blonde girl's name Jimmy: why? Janis: keeps 👀 at me funny Jimmy: maybe she heard you Janis: what you saying Janis: I sound funny? Jimmy: might be how she does 😍 Jimmy: not every dickhead's as good at flirting as me Janis: *nerd flirting Jimmy: hang on, I'll ask her if she knows how to play chess Janis: she'd 💘 that Janis: check out her name tag whilst you're there Jimmy: she'd love that it'd look like I was 👀 at her tits Janis: exactly Janis: just get express permission 'fore you 🖐 then it's fine Jimmy: fine for her Janis: who else? Jimmy: me if I were gonna bother Janis: 🙄 alright Jimmy: what are you 🙄 at me for? Janis: well I ain't looking at her tits, am I Janis: good one Jimmy: it won't be right any road Jimmy: none of the name tags are Janis: how do you not know Jimmy: What 'cause I'm BFFs with her? Janis: if I can remember however many dogs stupid names Janis: well unprofessional Jimmy: I can't remember yours, why would I bother to commit hers to memory? Janis: be more believable if she hadn't heard you Jimmy: it were you saying mine that she would've heard Jimmy: I've not said yours Janis: shut up Jimmy: bit late for it Janis: ugh Janis: [going to the toilets] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do some work Jimmy: I'm a bit busy chatting to blonde barista #1 Jimmy: we're gonna be mates by the end of this shift or my name ain't Jamie Janis: see, yours is your real name Janis: full of shit, you Jimmy: her name's gotta be Reagan then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is there owt else you wanna know? Janis: can find out the rest myself Jimmy: 👍 Janis: enjoy then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [flying out this bathroom] Jimmy: watch your ankle Janis: it's my ankle Jimmy: tah for clearing that up Jimmy: you wanna carry on with why you're getting mardy for the next thing? Janis: no Jimmy: what? Janis: just leave it Jimmy: no Janis: then I'll leave Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: why should I? Janis: you ain't Jimmy: I haven't done nowt Janis: then it's just how you are Janis: me and all Janis: chuck a #fated on it, whatever Jimmy: long as you chuck a load more #s after it to tell me what's up with you Janis: there's a word limit, surely Jimmy: that what's done it, is it? Janis: Sorry my life story ain't fitting in a tweet Jimmy: the fans an' all Janis: 💔 Jimmy: just Janis: don't matter Janis: gotta get shoes Jimmy: don't go Janis: don't need to stick around to have her judging me Jimmy: she's not asking you to, I am Janis: thanks for clearing that up Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: seen not heard again Janis: 👌 Jimmy: I'm trying to talk to you Janis: what, then Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a twat Janis: you don't Janis: what you saying sorry for Jimmy: I dunno but I've done something obvs Janis: really sincere then Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it if it weren't Janis: how can you be sorry for something you don't know you did Janis: don't need your impression of a middle-aged bloke, tah Jimmy: 'cause I know it's made you go into a strop with me Janis: I ain't in a fucking strop, for starters Jimmy: call it what you want Janis: don't you call it a strop, twat Jimmy: okay Janis: I ain't gonna say sorry Janis: but it's fine Jimmy: I don't want you to Janis: good then, ain't it Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't it feel it? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: one that's easy enough to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to an' all Janis: why would I ask a question I knew the answer to? Jimmy: 'cause you don't wanna answer any Janis: I've answered all your questions what you on about Jimmy: then why don't I know what's upset you? Janis: you're just that oblivious, I reckon Janis: it's alright, upset's too strong a word Jimmy: so put another word to it Janis: you've mildly annoyed me Janis: most people do Jimmy: how? Janis: do we have to Janis: you've blanket statement apologized Jimmy: alright Janis: what you want me to stay for anyway? Jimmy: you said you wanted to Janis: I wanted to see you Janis: not have a cake and a coffee Jimmy: do what you want then Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [out again lmao] Jimmy: [watching her go again but 😒 this time] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [do you wanna do a skip to when he's done here?] Janis: [makes sense boo] Jimmy: We going to this party or what? Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: the plan were you'd meet me here Jimmy: where are you? Janis: had enough of that place for a lifetime Janis: 'round the corner, you know the gym? Janis: on the way so you come here Jimmy: I'll find it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up like this isn't gonna be really awkward] Janis: [barely nodding a hello and walking on] Jimmy: [just gotta follow her cos you don't know where you're going] Janis: [hope this isn't a particularly long walk lol, especially in the heels you've bought despite your ankle 'cos gotta be that bitch] Jimmy: [we all know he's noticed them and is fuming but we're not saying a word obvs] Janis: [fun times lmao] Jimmy: [🚬 because if it's not a long walk it gives him an excuse to stay outside for a bit because we don't wanna do this rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [always so lowkey offended when he doesn't offer her one but likewise, what you gonna say] Jimmy: [it's his ultimate shade, feel it gal] Janis: [at least you secured another bottle so you can now not share that like if that's how we being] Jimmy: [I'm loling cos she'd be taller than him in heels] Janis: [tom cruise whomst] Jimmy: [at least she actually is tall and not just like 5 ft 4 but taller than you that'd be worse] Janis: [you're hot you don't need to be insecure boy] Jimmy: [we all know he isn't, well not about that anyway, the other issues are strong but] Janis: [neither of you has that going on lol] Jimmy: [literally going straight into the kitchen to see what booze there is the second we're there because we're not asking the bae to share with us we'd rather die] Janis: [just having to make a point of finding whoever's party this is and being chummy af] Jimmy: [take a bottle boy and get stuck into it because I doubt the CG closes that late so you're probably here early again] Janis: [giving him a hot sec before] Janis: right, are you gonna come at least look at me or what Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me how to do this Janis: you aren't doing it at all right now so Janis: how am I meant to know Jimmy: [comes in and kisses her in a really extra fashion to make a point] Janis: [SUCH an aggressive kiss, nbd people] Jimmy: [oh the vibe there is rn, excuse us everyone] Janis: [at least this can be a bigger, more actually happening party when it gets going but for rn] Jimmy: [for rn we're kissing and downing whatever this beverage is between said kisses and looking hot doing it] Janis: [when you wanna take this somewhere more private but you don't 'cos then you'll have to stop so just endlessly making out] Jimmy: [and you also don't wanna have to talk to her or look at her so it's easier to just keep kissing] Janis: [excuse you, the few randoms that are here already lol] Jimmy: [makes me die to imagine the scene] Janis: [assumedly it's like the close friends already hanging then you two just show up like ook] Jimmy: [with your PDA and intense vibe] Janis: [ahh the drama, eventually break off by going in his pocket and taking the essentials like bye with a wink] Jimmy: [at least you can take your turn being fake social with these party goers jimothy, use that barista charm again] Janis: [dragging this smoke out for as long as humanly possible] Jimmy: [comes out after it's been ages and gives her his jacket because that's the fake bf thing to do not because he's worried she's cold or anything caring like that] Janis: [surruptitiously looking around to see who/if anyone can see, so she knows how buzzing to be about this gesture 'tah' but snuggling into it all cute case anyone looking out the kitchen window] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we have that 😎 rep anyway so we don't have to worry] Janis: [hearing a loud ass group of people showing up out front and fully sighing like thank fuck] Jimmy: [taking a huge swig and heading back inside] Janis: [go talk to these new people, convince them to dance with you] Jimmy: [oh boy that's the last thing your sulk needs, we know you can't dance] Janis: [and that you don't want her to on that ankle in these heels] Jimmy: [he's so annoyed there's no faking he's not] Janis: [ahh the fake lover's tiff that ain't even] Jimmy: [your turn to strop off sir, go to the kitchen and do some shots with people in there] Janis: [when you've danced for a sufficient amount of time, go disappear into the loo or somewhere] Janis: how do you wanna play this Janis: is it like, loud makeup sex or something more subtle Jimmy: you heard me say do what you want Janis: this isn't about what either of us want is it Janis: what will look better, that's why we're here Jimmy: go with whatever you reckon'll look better then Janis: why so I can do all the work Janis: come on Jimmy: I'll do my bit when you tell me what that is Janis: yeah, then I'll do fuck all then, oh wait, that don't work Janis: got to be a team effort Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: jesus Janis: you wanna be here all night now is it Jimmy: you just said it ain't about that Jimmy: so it don't matter, does it? Janis: if you're having a good time, then I'll say I'm sick, knock yourself out Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals of me to not give a fuck that you're sick and keep the party going Janis: very lad Janis: they'll allow it if you can at least be bothered to do a decent goodbye Jimmy: I'll just go an' all, let 'em think we're together Janis: then we may as well do what we came here to do Janis: stop being awkward Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong, stop having a go at me like I'm fucking this up Janis: all I'm trying to do is work out the next move Janis: you're being uncooperative about it Jimmy: yeah it's me who keeps pissing off, not you Janis: I was dancing in the main room Janis: I've gone to the toilet Jimmy: 👌 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: fine Janis: I'll go back until you're ready to do something about it Jimmy: you do something about it Janis: I'm fucking trying to Janis: You want me to do something so you can complain I did it wrong after Janis: if it don't work for us both, there's no point Jimmy: Why the fuck would I want that? Janis: so you can be pissy and have a go at me Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then let's stop fighting on this and get it sorted Janis: why won't you if not that Jimmy: I don't know what to do, alright? Janis: alright Janis: we don't need to overcomplicate it Janis: we can leave it at routine socials, she clearly don't give a fuck anyway, does she Janis: or your new BFF Jimmy: who am I BFF's with now? Janis: the blonde girl, you said Janis: I did not know how serious the shamelessness issue was, that was an oversight on my behalf, like Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: I'm saying Janis: you could be fake married, and they'd find it hard to give a shit Jimmy: are you saying you don't wanna do this any more an' all or what? Janis: and all Janis: right Janis: when did you decide that Jimmy: I haven't decided nowt I'm asking if you're in or out or if you're just whinging about what we already know about lasses Janis: you wouldn't say it like that if you hadn't Janis: and I was saying that we might need to rethink some shit so it works better but that don't matter now Jimmy: I just did say it like that and I also just said I ain't decided nowt Jimmy: come on Jimmy: it were my idea and it's good Janis: if you reckon it's so good play the game Jimmy: fuck routine socials then Jimmy: if they're gonna be shameless, I'll be shameless Janis: alright Janis: sounds promising Jimmy: it would be if I knew what to actually do Janis: let's think Janis: obviously the #goals best boyfriend ever cutesy shit doesn't work on them all Janis: so we need to show 'em the opposite without you giving it to them, like they reckon you wanna Jimmy: the opposite being what? me playing myself? Janis: basically Janis: so, aside from ignoring them, how would you wanna respond Jimmy: I'd tell 'em to leave me the fuck alone, obvs Janis: so let's do that Janis: literally do that, not a social @ everyone Janis: they can have a 📸 each, they ain't ashamed to be direct so, worth a shot Jimmy: what about you? Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't gonna be impressed or 💔 by this Janis: the goals shit is, as she's incapable of feeling human emotions Janis: fake we're doing some cute thing this weekend, then we're off the hook for any parties for a couple of days Jimmy: Alright Janis: no need to be together actually, plenty we can fake from a distance, yeah Jimmy: easily Janis: that's alright, then Janis: come here so we can take the shots Jimmy: [does] Janis: [letting him in the bathroom, probably to the annoyance of people waiting, not soz 'can be more of a fuck you if we ain't got an audience' shrugging like you got to explain everything 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [I hope there was a line of people waiting lol] Janis: [almost certainly] Jimmy: [just looking at her because you have not dared to prior to this] Janis: [managing to look back like hey] Jimmy: [sitting on the edge of the bath like you've got all the time in the world to piss about in here because what a day and intense convo we've had] Janis: [sitting on the floor with your back to the door 'there's some old photos on my phone, that we never used, I think' you know you've not deleted 'em 'if you don't want to take more' as per talking quietly so people don't overhear] Jimmy: [comes over and takes her heels off because we're angry and worried about them in equal measure and holding his hand out for her phone like you need to scrutinise if these photos are good enough and you're not just stalling for longer] Janis: [shooketh but just handing the phone over, we all know they the ones from when it went too far and hard to post which would make them perfect for now but just hoping he's like no no lol] Jimmy: [does not remotely need to sit down ridiculously close to her and look at these so she can also see and relive the #mems but does] Janis: [just touching where he used to have a big lovebite like not there now, as if they're likely to notice] Jimmy: [does the same to her but doesn't stop at just touching it because why would he when he can just put it back there, duh] , Janis: [when the noise comes out 'cos frustration is too high rn] Jimmy: [spurring him on to keep going as if she needs any more or we need any excuses, but we're going for quality not quantity for once here because just really want her to feel it] Janis: [getting out, barely between the sounds you're making and the ones you're holding back meaning your breathing is ragged af, 'you know what we could do...'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ? because we know you can't speak rn boy and we know exactly what happened when you tried to because there's no holding anything back with you] Janis: ['video message her' just looking at him so he knows you're serious 'party girl, that is' 'cos blonde barista was not being that extra and we don't need to involve her] Jimmy: [when he would have imagined a million possible things she could've said then but never that but gets her phone from wherever it got dropped when they were having that moment so she knows he's on board] Janis: ['reckon you can make it look accidental whilst making sure she sees or are we being that shameless that we just do it without the pretense?'] Jimmy: ['I can make it look and sound however you want' because could and also how saucy did you wanna make that proposition boy] Janis: ['just-' repositioning herself to be on top of him as per 'make it look and sound like you've got everything you want, however you do it'] Jimmy: [thank god that whatever feelsy thing he was gonna say about her being everything he wants won't come out because SUCH a noise does whenever she gets on his lap because it's his shameless fave] Janis: ['like that' and we happy 'cos can't be confused about how into this we both are at least] Jimmy: [also Harry has never given you a sound like that, god bless you Jimothy, and bless you both because this will look accidental for the same reason that you end up out of frame during photoshoots, you're too into each other to care] Janis: [or made you make any kinda sound, no blessing for you boy, like truly, enjoy the brief snapshot you gonna get gal] Jimmy: [I like that though cos you don't deserve to think you matter or got under Janis' skin party gal but we are gonna enjoy the excuse to say things we wouldn't normally like how beautiful the bae is and shit like that because we can pretend it's just for the benefit of] Janis: [saying his name way more than we did earlier for that fuck you moment] Jimmy: [still not saying yours yet gal but don't worry it'll be worth the wait] Janis: [don't even care that you're not calling that girl, just need to get it out there lol] Jimmy: [I respect it] Janis: [the people outside this door must be livid] Jimmy: [I vote he should've broke her dress in some way, purely accidentally because that'll be a mood when they do have to go back to this party and it makes me lol cos you can't return that now if you wanted to] Janis: [100% down] Jimmy: [didn't notice at the time obvs but then it's like 😳 so soz gal] Janis: [style it out babe] Jimmy: [we know she won't care and she's got his jacket if needs but he'll be worried how he do] Janis: nice one, mate Jimmy: weren't EXACTLY what you were saying but close enough Janis: [😏] Janis: was there, you don't need to tell me Jimmy: I get it, too soon for reminders Jimmy: have your recovery time then Janis: fuck off with your massive head and find us some drink Jimmy: [does go and forage because kind of bf he is but we're looking back at the dress worriedly and doing an adorable worried lip bite because 😳 did not mean to be that extra] ] Janis: you're cute Janis: not my favourite Jimmy: bigheads are your type, I know Jimmy: but I've fucked the possibility of body shots 💔 the 👗'd be off you after the one Janis: ha Janis: you think you know Janis: and lads might disagrre but reckon you can see enough as is Jimmy: I do know, just heard it, along with every dickhead waiting to have a piss Janis: you act like you were silent Jimmy: not that decent of an actor, am I? Jimmy: and silent films were ages ago Janis: I can feel what's real and what ain't Janis: neither of us need to pretend we can't Janis: like I've never pretended I don't really like fucking you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll take that compliment Jimmy: you can stop trying to give 'em out now, my dear 😏 Janis: it's you who's trying to take the piss, dickhead Jimmy: bit rude how you reckon it's not #effortless Janis: how could it be when your natural state is 🤓😍 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: sure babes Jimmy: [brings her a drink of some description] Janis: [cheersing and going in] Jimmy: [just looking at her cos we can now we're not fuming] Janis: [definitely left our shoes in that bathroom] Jimmy: [boy you've really ruined her lewk in all the ways, she's not made of money in the reboot how dare you] Janis: [she could've stole them it's fine lol, doing a thumbs up at him like ?] Jimmy: [I hope you did gal, just shamelessly touching her hair like lemme fix that for you as if that's remotely why you were staring at her] Janis: [a look like really? 😏 'cos least of the issues you've caused here] Jimmy: [shrug because we can't think about the dress issue because we're embarrassed so gotta act like we're not] Janis: [checking the phone to see if party girl has done anything but she must just be crying about it so 👍] Jimmy: [getting close to her like you wanna check the phone too but 1.you have your own 2. she told you it's fine 3. you don't actually care that much] Janis: ['happy now, baby?' gotta ask him in an extra way 'cos back in the party but also genuinely asking] Jimmy: [hugging her because it's a fake boyfriend yes answer for everyone but as he does it writes 'you?' on her with a fingertip unbeknownst anyone else because obvs wants to know if she's happy before he knows what mood to be in] Janis: ['how could I not be?' in his ear 'cos hugs him back obvs] Jimmy: [picks her up because that tricksy ankle could be a reason and finding her somewhere to sit in the midst of this party like excuse me everyone] Janis: [obviously makes him sit with her, imagining an arm chair so you're both kinda curled up] Jimmy: [we're snuggling] Janis: [just ignoring everyone at this party how we meant to] Jimmy: [live your best lives lads you've had a way more intense time than I envisioned when we started this convo so] Janis: [hohaha love it] Jimmy: [we'll let you have a chill time now it's fine] Janis: [or will we haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [yes gal or Jimothy'll have no secrets left] Janis: [poo] Jimmy: [well that's just rude] Janis: [jkjk]

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papikakashikahn · 6 years

Text

Ink Flowers - Chapter 1

Hey there! So after watching Shippuden and mainly creating this Tumblr to commemorate my love for the series... my Tumblr seemed to lean towards my other interests... nevertheless! I’ve recently gotten into the Saiino ship again, but sadly there aren’t too many fanfics out there for these too... good ones that is. So since I’m a writer (I use the term loosely), I decided to at least try at writing my rendition of the two together... here goes nothing! Hope you'll enjoy! (I intend on continuing this series)

Chapter 2 here

“Pfft.” Ino exhaled, blowing a tuft of her hair out of her face, just for it to flow back were it had just resigned a few seconds prior.

On any other day when Ino Yamanaka was not on a mission, you could find her behind the register working in her family’s flower shop.

Ino rested her head on her elbow from her boredness. Business had been running slow today, as per usual… other than Kakashi Sensei’s usual purchase of a bouquet of yellow lilies, and some dark red carnations. (The yellow lilies, meaning thankfulness, the dark red carnations, meaning love). Who he got these flowers for every day you might ask? Ino never knew. She was just surprised he was able to set aside time to wander the village being Hokage and all.

Nevertheless, he was the only customer so far today, and Ino was starting to become bored being all by her lonesome.

She started to stare out the flower shop’s window. It was a sunny Tuesday afternoon, which made her even more irritated she had to be working.

She bit her lip and looked down at her nails tapping the surface of the counter. You would expect Choji or Shikamaru to visit her but lately, they had become quite caught up in responsibilities involving their clan. Ino didn’t particularly like to think she was bitter about the whole situation… but bitter certainly was a good word.

Ino truly liked working in her family’s shop, socializing with customers, working with the flowers, all that good stuff… but the shifts were becoming more and more tedious, and it was obvious as to why.

It seemed everyone around was doing something with their lives. Her teammates, her friends, the entire village it felt was succeeding past her, not even giving her a chance to catch up to them. Hell, even Shino was starting to shadow in the AMBU’S tracking division!!!

Ino and most of her peers were 18 now. The Fourth Shinobi war had only ended a year ago… she had only lost her father a year ago.

Although almost everyone had become a repercussion of the war, it seemed as though they were handling it better than her. Everyone was able to pick up with their lives and move on, continuing to do more exciting things.

Everyone except her that is.

Naruto was fulfilling his dream of becoming the next Hokage, Hinata was finally in a relationship with the idiot blonde himself… even Sakura finally dating her childhood Uchiha crush, who was returning to the village because of her.

Ino rolled her eyes just thinking about it. “What a bunch of bs.” she muttered to no one in particular, except the flowers maybe.

Sakura was Ino’s best friend … at least … she used to be. The two had become a lot closer ever been since Sasuke had left the village, but Ino couldn’t help but question if it would change now that the rogue shinobi was returning. The reason why the two kunoichis stopped being friends in the first place was because of that stupid Sharingan user.

Back when they were in academy when Sakura was picked on for that HUGE forehead of hers, the two kunoichis had become friends. Ino had often told off Sakura’s bullies and from then on, the two of them were inseparable. Ino helped Sakura have more confidence in herself, and to embrace that huge forehead of hers. Ino even gave Sakura one of her headbands to push back those bangs of hers she was using to hide it .

And just like that, it all changed.

Just like many other kunoichis, Ino and Sakura started to develop feelings for the Sasuke Uchiha. Could you blame them? He was a handsome, and a skilled genin. Not to mention he had this cool, mysterious vibe to him that had all the girls drooling. It was alluring. To be fair though, Ino did like Sasuke first, but never really pursued her interest in him until after Sakura admitted she had liked him as well, and because of it, Sakura explained they couldn't be friends any longer. Apparently, they couldn't both like Sasuke. Certainly, that was unheard of. After Sakura cut ties with Ino, even giving back the headband Ino gave her, winning Sasuke Uchiha’s heart became an obsession for Ino.

Deep down, Ino didn’t like to compete with Sakura or anyone for that matter - especially over a boy. The true reason Ino “competed” with Sakura to win Sasuke’s heart - even going to the lengths of growing her hair so that Sasuke would be more attracted to her - was to make Sakura feel the pain she had inflicted on Ino when Sakura told her they could no longer be friends. She made Ino feel unneeded, left behind, and especially - betrayed.

Ino didn’t notice the tears welling up in her eyes as she continued to tap her nails on the counter mindlessly.

No matter how much Ino tried to convince herself that she didn’t care, or that she didn’t need Sakura, it hurt her that the truth was that Sakura was the one who didn’t need her anymore.

It stung when their friendship ended.

Ino, was the one that gave her all the confidence she had today, she was the one to nurture and care for the stupid pink flower that Sakura bloomed to be today!

And to think billboard brow didn’t even thank me for it!

Ino slammed her fist on the counter in frustration, letting the hair fall in front of her face.

A tear had slipped onto the counter, but Ino hadn’t paid it much mind.

As of now, Ino and the Pink Haired kunoichi were close, but she couldn’t tell how the severity of their relationship would change with Sasuke coming back and all.

In the past, Sasuke was solely the trophy in the competition betwixt the two. While Ino lost interest in Sasuke as a person a long time ago, her interest in winning him as a prize against Sakura had increased. Winning Sasuke over was winning against Sakura… at what this game they were playing all these years Ino never really knew.

“You're strong-willed, Dependable and responsible...

Choji and Shikamaru...They're total goof-offs. Keep them in line...

And don't let Sakura beat you...in ninjutsu or romance”.

“I’m sorry Asuma Sensei...” Ino whispered to herself as another tear slipped, remembering his last words he said to her.

“I tried.” Ino she whispered as she wiped her tears.

Just then, she heard the chime above the door, meaning someone had entered the shop.

After quickly wiping the tears from her face, Ino shot her head up and smiled, exclaiming almost as if it was rehearsed :

“Hello! Welcome to the Yamanaka Flower shop! How may I help you!?” Ino greeted the customer.

When she opened her eyes she realized it was only Sai.

She untensed a little. Sai wasn’t that new to their tightly knit group of theirs, but still, she hadn’t really talked to him much.

She blushed slightly remembering their first conversation when he had called her beautiful.

It’s only been a couple years later, and yet she can’t seem to remember ever exchanging another word with him following the incident… it was quite sad actually.

The same pale ex-root boy stood in front of her, with the same simple smile he gave her when they had first met, as he gave everyone.

“Hello beautiful, I am here to buy flowers.” He said greeting her.

She could feel her cheeks tinge with color at the nickname as she did a slight little shimmy.

It seems the nickname has stuck with her… even though for some reason it didn't feel all too genuine. Well, as long as it pissed off Sakura considering he referred to her as ugly, she was fine with the nickname. After all, it was the little victories that counted… right?

She laughed lightly to herself.

“Well obviously Sai, this is a flower shop. Any kind in particular?” she smiled leaning over the counter a little more. He turned to observe the bouquets of vibrantly colored flowers before him, scanning each one carefully. It didn’t seem to help much though.

“I-I don’t know really…” he began.

“Well what’s the occasion?” she smirked, interested. He turned to give her another one of his smiles.

“I wish to draw a subject of beauty for my new composition.” he explained. Ino furrowed her eyebrow at him, slightly disappointed there wasn’t any tea to spill today.

“Listen, I’m not complaining or anything… but you do know you could just go outside and pick a bunch of dandelions for free… right?” she asked him.

Sai solely shook his head. “I am after something more vigorous to portray, I do not mind paying.” he assured her. She simply nodded her head in response as the pale boy turned his head back to the bouquets. After a moment or two, he picked one up, and turned to Ino. “These will do.” he told her.

Ino looked from the flower to Sai, and from Sai to the flowers, with a distasteful look on her face.

“Is something… wrong… do you… not approve?” Sai questioned confused as he looked down at the flowers in his hands. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly wrong to him. They were flowers, weren't they?

“Blue Bells are a pretty flowers Sai, but they represent humility. People usually buy them when they are trying to apologize to someone.” Ino told him.

It seemed as though Ino’s explanation of her distaste still didn’t help Sai understand.

“F-flowers have meanings?” he stuttered looking down at the bluebells in his hands.

“Why of course!!!” Ino exclaimed, walking around the counter towards him excitedly.

“Candypuff's for example-” Ino paused, pointing to a bouquet of white dainty flowers a few feet across from them “-means indifference.” she told him. He stared down at the flowers in his hands still.

“...And what is humility like?” he questioned, looking up to her curiously. She was about to ask him what the fuck he was talking about - until she remembered that he was still new to emotions, being from the root and all. From what she understood, he had a lot of difficulty understanding the concept of human socializing, empathy, and emotions in general. It seemed odd for such a confident, talkative girl such as herself. But really, could you blame him? The foundation trains genin and or younger with the potential to become apart of the ANBU black ops to suppress their emotions to the point where they don’t exist, not to mention every connection you have to the world is cut off. You have no name, you have no family, you don’t even have a gravestone when you die. Your sole purpose it to protect the leaf, and connections get in the way of that. Therefor, it's no wonder the guy has trouble understanding his feeling , for about all of his life, he’s been taught that he shouldn't have any.

She sighed patiently. Ino loved talking to people about things she was passionate about, especially when it came to flowers, so therefor she didn’t mind explaining it to him at all.

Ino paused for a few seconds, trying to come up with the best explanation for him.

“Humility… humility is when you feel vulnerable because of something you might have done that you regret, you especially feel humility at another person’s reaction to it. For example, if Naruto spilled a bowl of ramen on his pants, you would laugh because it looks like he pissed himself, and Naruto would then feel humility.” Ino explained, adding a smile at the end. He nodded his head. “I think I understand.” He stated simply. He then turned to the other bouquets of flowers.

“And what do those mean?” Sai asked pointing to a dark red bouquet of roses. “Those mean sadness.” She responded to him. “Oh… like you were when I came in.” Sai blurted. Ino practically choked on air, her eyes widening at his comment. She blinked once or twice, comprehending that he had seen her upset. He turned his head to the side.

“May I ask what you were upset about?” Sai asked innocently.

Ino stirred uncomfortable, knowing even if she told him, he wouldn't understand. He’d ask her why she felt that way, although she didn’t really understand it either to begin with.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sai, i’m perfectly fine.” she defended herself. He gave her a shrug. “Whatever you say, Beauty.” he responded every word laced with doubt, even if it was unintentional.

Sai turned back to the flowers. “... What do these mean?” Sai asked pointing to yellow roses. Ino cleared her throat, glad he jumped to another subject.

“Comradeship.” Ino stated. He turned to her with a smile on his face.

“I am familiar with this term.” he stated content. Ino smiled back at him as well.

Sai’s eyes shifted to something over Ino’s shoulder. “And those… what do those mean?” he asked, pointing to something behind her.

She turned around, her eyes drawn to the bright red bouquet of roses on the counter. She had been assorting them for some guy who had ordered them for his girlfriend.

“Love.” she stated in a flat tone at the thought of her love life being so nonexistent. She wished someone had order flowers for her. ...It seemed the bitterness was kicking in again

“...What does that mean?” he asked once more.

Ino bit her lip. That one was simply hard to explain, most likely because she hadn’t known what it felt like yet either.

“Well… it’s a little hard to explain Sai.” She turned around to find his curiosity filled face. She tried to form an explanation of it, in a way that even he would understand. “You see, it’s when you like someone... a lot. When you care for them.” she told him with a nod.

“... So you can say, I love my friends?” Sai puzzled.

“Mhmmm, well yes - but the love I’m talking about is more for a significant other… like a girlfriend or boyfriend.” Ino continued. Nevertheless, Sai blinked absentmindedly.

“Someone you like like...like Hinata and Naruto for example!” Ino exclaimed.

“Oh, I see. So if someone is dating another, he or she is in love.” Sai nodded. Ino pushed her fingers together and did her little shimmy.

“Well not necessarily… just because you’re dating someone doesn't mean you love them. It’s-it’s a very hard feeling to explain. You’ll know it when you feel it Sai.” she stated. Sai tilted his head to the left.

“Have you ever been in love before beautiful?” he asked her.

Ino tensed as she looked up at him, but the way he stared at her so intensely made her shift her eyes to the floor again.

“No, I don’t think I have yet Sai.”

A silence formed between the two.

“These will suffice.” Sai stated, breaking the silence. Ino looked up at him, to find him holding the yellow roses. A smile was formed on Sai's face, as well as Ino. “Of course.” Ino responded taking the flowers from Sai, and walking back to the counter.

Comradeship huh?

“It was interesting to learn that flowers having meanings. In a way, I guess you can say they are like art. There is more meaning than meets the eye?” Sai concluded, then looking to Ino for her response as she was ringing the bouquet up. After a moment or two, Ino’s eyes shifted towards Sai who had the same smile on his face that he had walking. She liked that he was conversing with her about it.

“Hhmm. I guess you’re right Sai.” She nodded. She handed him the bouquet of delicate roses.

“Here, don’t bother paying for them, they’re on the house. After all, it is for research anyways. A respectable cause if you ask me.” She smiled at him. He smiled back gratefully.

“Thank you for your kindness, beautiful.” He said as he held the flowers, turning around. “Mhmm.” She muttered, looking down at her now-empty hands. She began tapping her nails again on the countertop.

“Beauty, Sakura once told me about - well, I forget what she called it.”

Ino looked up at Sai who held the flower shop door open slightly. She felt the warm September breeze of Konoha flow in through the door, and wash over her, giving her the chills for a moment or two as Sai seemed to be thinking.

“Ah yes… lying as she called it.” He said looking over to Ino. She knitted her eyebrows together slightly confused about what he was talking about.

“You lied when I asked you if you were upset, although...I don’t know why exactly.”

Ino almost choked on air again she was caught off guard.

“Forehead told me that sometimes, people lie to protect their friends’ feelings… then again… I still don’t understand how lying about your feelings would protect anyone else’s. It is not good for you. You should talk to the person that is causing you to be upset.” He explained to her, concluding with his smile that never really reached his eyes. Ino’s voice got caught in her throat at his words.

Sai then proceeded to look to the ground again. “Women are a most confusing gender.” he muttered to himself.

And just like that, Sai had left Ino all to herself, and to her thoughts.

She tapped her fingers against the counter, in a calm tempo, as she drifted in thought over Sai’s words to her.

She looked to the flowers on her right, that sat on the counter beside her, looking at the rose petals that had seemed to fall off.

#saiino #Ino Yamanaka #sai yamanaka #naruto #saiino fanfic #saiino fanfiction #inkflowers

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adarkroomandawallflower · 7 years

Text

Peter Maximoff Owning a Bookstore Head Canons

If Peter in glasses wasn't your demise just imagine this: Peter Maximoff with glasses owning a book store

He owns a cute, small bookstore in the quiet, downtown area where you live

He doesn't have much customers because most people just go to Barnes & Nobles, but he does have a quiet few regulars who keep him in business

Most of them are elderly folk but a few of them are young, including yourself

You love his little store so much & he always has the best books & comics

You also love him, but he doesn't know that

Picture this: walking into the store & seeing Peter by the register, his glasses down his nose as his eyes devour a book on the counter, his silver hair messy

He looks up when he hears you open the door & gives you a cute smile as he pushes his glasses back up his nose

"Hi, welcome to the Silver Linings Bookstore!"

He just looks so warm & soft & you want to hug him & kiss his stupid face

He's constantly adding new books & comics to his store, which he loves to organize & stack himself

He just wheels around one of those little portable, metal shelves filled with books (like the ones libraries have when they're stacking books), stacking & organizing books while he has his Walkman blasting Pink Floyd or RUSH a little too loudly

Sometimes, he sings the lyrics under his breath

You always lowkey watch him when he does this because he looks so precious

Although he's quite shy, he gladly helps anyone who asks

"Can you help me find this book?"

"Of course! What is it? Oh man I LOVE that book let me tell you"

He gets so excited because the books he helps people find are almost always his favorites

He also lowkey likes that people actually talk to him & ask for his help because it makes him feel needed & appreciated

The first time you guys officially had a conversation was when you asked him if he had a new book in that you were looking for

He did & he already read it & proceeded to tell you how great it was (without spoiling it for you)

"And then after that, they have to go on this huge journey & it's a metaphorical representation for self-discovery & acceptance & it's so gOOD the author is genius I swear"

He was so excited & he was using his hands a lot as he spoke

He knocked over a few things from moving his hands so quickly & excitedly, blushing as you laughed & helped him pick up everything

You guys ended up talking for an hour before he actually found the book for you

Peter finding books is so adorable to watch

He would gently brush his finger across every book spine on the shelf, mumbling the titles & authors to himself as he searched for the book you or someone else requested

When he's really concentrating, he'll furrow his eyebrows & bit his lip a little, not realizing his glasses are legit about to fall off his face

When he finds it, his eyes would light up & he'd smile as he exclaimed "Ah-ha!" & gently pulled the book off the shelf

Flustered soft Peter with glasses having problems with his cash register is the cUTEST

His hair is flopping in his face, his glasses keep slipping, & he just pouts as he tries to fix it

That damn thing is older than your grandfather, so it's no wonder he always has trouble with it

It's always getting stuck, preventing him from returning change

He really needs to get a new one but he's too stingy to

He also lowkey really loves the thing because it's vintage & Peter loves anything vintage

He eventually gets it open & is able to return the change

Pretty soon, you stopped by every weekend, even if you weren't going to purchase something, just to get to see him & talk to him

Peter always smiled the brightest when he saw you walk in the door

You two naturally worked out a schedule where you always came at a certain time (usually his break time)

One time, you showed up & his mom was there instead of him

You were really sad, but once his mother informed you he was sick you instantly wished you could help him feel better

He left you a bookmark he made you & a couple of cookies his mom baked earlier that day as an apology for not being there for your designated meeting time

You almost cried because he's so cute & sweet

When he came back the following week, his nose was all red, his voice was stuffy, the bags under his eyes were larger, his hair was a mess, his glasses kept falling down his nose, & he kept sniffling, but he was feeling a lot better

Thankfully, he was no longer contagious & you pulled him into a hard hug, telling him how much you missed him & hoped he was feeling better

He was so shocked that you actually hugged him & missed that he blushed so haRD

Peter is also really creative & artistic

Besides bookmarks, he makes a lot of cool & weird things, especially for you

He makes A TON of cute gifts for you

Your favorite one is this super cute bracelet he made you out of papers he ripped out from old books

It's legit the coolest thing ever & he loves that you love it

It's pretty clear you guys dig each other, but neither of you say anything about it

Peter tried to so many times, but he flusters himself & can't get the words out

That changes the next time you come into the store

You needed some books for your Psychology report about emotions & Peter was happy to help

He kept getting distracted, though, because you were so close to him that he could smell your shampoo & poor sweet baby boy likes you so much he can't help himself

You notice his nervousness & flash him a genuine smile to reassure him & he just m e l t s

He remembers that he made you another gift as you grab the books you need

He shyly pulls out this adorable little silver book charm he made for your bracelet

You were so overwhelmed because I mean honestly this sweet little soft silver cinnamon roll is too damn much

You drop all your books & grab his shirt collar & pull him down to your height & kiss him right then & there, between Darwin & Freud

He's so shocked & he blushes a little but he gladly returns the kiss

When you pull away, his eyes are still closed & he breaks out into a huge smile as he pushes his glasses up his nose before opening his eyes

"Is your report about love? Because I think I can definitely help with that, considering I'm falling for you"

You just kiss him again

After that, you come by almost daily because you're dating the precious silver-haired bookstore owner

This boy is the most affectionate boyfriend in existence

He loves hugs, especially yours, so now you always greet him with lots of hugs

Every time you hug, he wraps his arms around your waist, sets his chin down on your shoulder, pulls you into his chest, & buries his face in your shoulder as he presses a kiss to your collarbone & stares at the ground behind you, his glasses smudging slightly from coming into contact with your skin

He could hold you like that forever & he would, given the option

Now his kisses oh b o y

He does this thing where whenever he wants to kiss you, he chew on his thumb nail & watch your mouth move as you talk

When you realize he's not paying attention, you'll playfully scold him but he's still just watching your mouth move

Then, he'll apprehensively lean in & hesitantly press his lips against yours

His kisses are always so gentle & needy

It doesn't take long for him to get greedy over your affection & pretty soon, he's just hugging & kissing you & holding your hand all the time

He LOVES holding your hand because he can do it whenever he wants to

He has a firm grip, as if he's worried you'll disappear if he holds your hand too loosely

He still handmakes you gifts all the time for no reason

"I made you something!"

"Aw again? Peter, you just made me something yesterday for getting an A on my report"

"Well, this one's for being awesome"

He used to tell you dumb pick-up lines before you started dating, but now he tells you even more

They're always nerdy and/or book related

"Hey babe, are you librarian? Because you sure know how to organize the books of my heart"

"PeTER that was so stuPID come here you"

Peter! Loves! Reading! To! You!

You love listening to his voice, especially when he's reading a good book or poem outloud to you

Whenever you spend the night with him or he with you, he always something readable handy so he can read it to you

He also loves it when you read to him

He just loves you honestly

Dedicated to @v-writings & that poor shaking anon. Hope you're okay friend & that these little head canons make you feel better! 💚

#peter maximoff #quicksilver #x men #peter maximof x reader #peter maximoff headcanon #precious boy #soft peter is the love of my life #evan peters #x men apocalypse #x men dofp #books #shameless fluff #peter is the death of me #but also my life

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lovelytarou · 3 years

Text

caffeinated love

pairing: nishinoya yuu x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

tags: coffee shop!au, barista!noya, noya & reader being whipped for each other

a/n: dedicated to my beautiful, loving, sweet and supportive wife @chibishae34 💖💞❤️💕 i hope you liked this surprise and i did your bb noya justice! :c

it was a perfectly sunny day.

it was too perfect, you might add. the scene in front of you could easily fit into a studio ghibli movie, the only thing missing are the animated characters, and the soft piano music that usually accompanied the films.

you don't know what made you look at life with rose-colored lenses today, it might be because you're in a good mood, or you woke up on the right side of the bed, or the wind just brought some positive air to you. whatever it is, you're thankful for it.

you're walking around campus with a skip on your steps, a smile on your face as you grinned at the people you passed and the surroundings. to some people, it might come off as creepy, or even weird, but no one is going to ruin your mood today. not when you're so close to having your coffee.

a bigger smile tugged at your lips, looking up at the café in front you – its bold, intricate sign you're familiar with and the welcoming aura beckoning you in.

Crows' Cabin.

your favorite café that serves the best coffee ever in your campus. you couldn't have asked for more. they got your coffee right, the perfect amount of sweetness, the tinge of bitterness, and the smooth feel of the cream like a warm blanket on a cold day. not to mention, their staff is pretty welcoming and friendly, too.

what you loved most about this place is the fact that you can study in peace and the fast wi-fi that they have. it has the perfect atmosphere to do a little studying while you sip your coffee.

walking inside, you pushed the doors open, letting it emit a small ringing sound as it announces your arrival. the usual silver-haired cheery guy that greets you when you come in isn't standing in his usual post. instead, a short guy with bleached streaks greeted you with a lively energy that almost shocked you to the core.

you can't help but think how cute he looks, and walked closer cautiously to the counter.

“hello! welcome to crows' cabin! what can i getcha, cutie?” he gave you a big grin, leaning on the counter with his arm. you blinked in surprise, taken aback by his ecstatic greeting and chuckling lightly.

“hey, uh...is sugawara not here?” you probably sounded rude, but if there's a new guy on his stead, you could only guess that he's going to get your coffee wrong. at least, that's what you think.

he let out a humming sound, his face scrunching up as he thinks with his index finger and thumb under his chin. your heart skipped a beat. he couldn't get any cuter.

“i heard sugawara changed shifts because of his hectic schedule and all,” he explained, waving his arms about. “but you're lucky you're stuck with me! so, what do you want? coffee, tea, or me?” he gave you a wink after his question.

despite the nag of disappointment at the news of sugawara not being able to take your order anymore, it was quickly replaced by giddiness at the presence of this energetic boy in front of you.

before you could answer, however, the other staff with shaved hair that you quickly recognized as tanaka ryuunosuke, emerged from the kitchen and shook his head at his co-worker's antics.

“oi, stop flirting with the customer and take their order already!” he scolded, slapping the boy with the small towel he's holding on the head, earning a yelp.

“ukai-san won't be happy to know that you're trying to pick up chicks while on the job, you know.” tanaka's quip made your cheeks heat up. although, it seemed like the smaller guy is flirting with you, it was probably how he greets all the customers that comes in the café.

yet, the thought of him asking you out isn't too bad at all.

he's pretty attractive, you'll admit that. he's got mesmerizing, big, brown eyes that looks like it can pierce through your soul the longer you looked at them, and not to mention his fiery personality that greeted you the moment you entered.

“i can't help it, ryuu. they just looked so cute! who am i to deny our pretty customer our special service?” he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively. god, you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“leave the poor customer alone, idiot. look at them, they're too red already!” it definitely didn't help that tanaka made a comment on how flustered you seem to get over his co-workers flirtatious advances.

“i-i'll get the usual, please...” you managed to croak out despite the embarrassment you felt, immediately sliding the exact amount to the counter.

the boy tilted his head at you in confusion, “the usual...?”

oh, right. he's new.

ignoring your flushed cheeks and rapidly beating heart, you murmured how you liked your coffee all the while his piercing gaze is intently staring at you, giving you his undivided attention while you explain your order passionately.

“uh, no– wait, that's probably too complicated. i'll just get that one instead–” he waved his hand dismissively at your panicked ramblings.

“nah, no need. i already memorized your order, angel face.” with one final wink at you, he went to the back to prepare your coffee.

“why don't you settle in and get comfortable while i prepare your drink?” he called over his shoulder.

tanaka could only watch the commotion with fond, proud gaze as he went back to his own station.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

during the afternoon, the crows' cabin don't have many patrons unlike in the mornings and evenings. usually, they were back in their classes or offices, and sometimes will only grab a quick bite before heading out.

this is the most peaceful moment, in your opinion, in the café. you hummed along to the song playing on the speakers as you typed away for your essay that is due tomorrow. yeah, it might not be healthy to cram when it's due tomorrow, but with how busy you are, can you really blame yourself?

what's important is you're doing it now instead of putting it away and procrastinating like you always do.

your fingers stopped typing as you gazed out the window, thinking of what to write next. amid the staring absently at nothingness, the boy from the counter approached you. he placed the cup from the tray beside you on a coaster.

“thanks, uh...” shoot, you didn't get his name. you don't remember tanaka mentioning it, too.

he seemed to have read your mind as he laughed, eyes crinkling at the sides as he threw his head back. you can't help but stare at him, he's such a ball of sunshine. any moment now and you're sure your heart will burst because of this guy.

“my name's nishinoya yuu, nice to meet you, uhm...” he stretched his hand out, which made you chuckle. you accepted it, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself.

nishinoya rubbed the back of his head, his cheeks flushing, “that's a pretty name.” he murmured, eyes casting off to the side as the thought of how warm and soft your hands are overtaking his mind.

before he could get carried away, he cleared his throat and looked at you expectantly.

“anyway, i'm excited about what you think of the coffee i made!” he bounced on his heels from where he stood, excitement jittering his bones.

rolling your eyes playfully, you cracked a smile at his excited expression and brought the cup to your lips to take a sip.

time seemed to have stopped as nishinoya watched you take another sip of coffee. you, on the other hand, couldn't believe that he made it just how you like it despite the first time making it for you. the slight smirk didn't escape your notice as you let out an appreciative hum upon the taste.

“so?” he leaned a little close to you, anticipation written all over his cute face.

“i gotta hand it to you, nishinoya. you did well, maybe even better than sugawara’s,” his chest seemed to puff up at your praise which you found endearing. so he likes to be complimented.

“of course! who else can make your coffee if not also the best barista in crows' cabin?” he boasted, thumbs pointing at himself. you can't help the laughter that bubbled out of you. he's such a refreshing presence in such a familiar place. and you're here for it.

he felt his heart clench as he smiled at your laughing figure, one thought only occupying his mind: he wanted to see you smile and laugh more.

he glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing that it'd be a few hours left before his shift ends and until then he still has a lot to do. even if it makes him sad, he has to go back to work and part from you. although, he hopes not permanently.

“anyways, enjoy your coffee! don't work too hard! and uh, call me yuu.” he gave you one last smile before he went back behind the counter.

yuu.

his name kept repeating over and over inside your head, a smile on your face as you looked down at your cup of coffee.

you're definitely going to keep coming back here.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

the next time you went back to the café, nishinoya perked up like an overexcited dog. his face immediately lit up at the sight of you. the relief that washed over you was something that you kept thinking about as you made your way to the counter, a grin splitting your face.

why were you so glad to find out that he's here?

“hey, it's you again. how are you doing today?” he greeted, already buzzing to life at the mere sight of you.

“i'm great, actually. and you?”

“it's been a long day, but it's all better now that you're here, cutie.” he chuckled at the way you became flustered in seconds after he called you a pet name.

“you're not too bad yourself, yuu. i'll take–”

“–the usual. i already memorized it, remember?” he replied, seeing the puzzled look on your face.

“right. yeah, sorry.” you facepalmed yourself softly, shaking your head at your forgetfulness. “it's just...i've been working too hard so i probably forgot,”

“i have just the thing, now go get cozy and i'll bring your drink!”

you took that as your cue to find your seat. today was pretty hectic for you, especially since you have to catch up to the nearing deadlines. taking a seat, you immediately opened up your laptop and began to work.

not half an hour later, a cup was placed in front of you, along with nishinoya sitting at the opposite chair which made you quirk an inquisitive eyebrow at the boy.

“what are you doing?”

“it's okay, i have my break at this time.” he then placed a bag beside your laptop, “on the house, a little birdie told me that it's your favorite,” he sheepishly rubbed at his nape, avoiding your gaze.

opening the bag, you find out that it's one of your favorite pastries inside. you can't help the soft gasp leaving your mouth at the kind gesture.

“oh, thank you so much! i've been craving these lately.” you gave him a grateful smile, biting down on your favorite treat. it still tasted just as good, but what really warmed your heart was the thought of nishinoya purposely asking sugawara for your favorite pastry and you can't help but add it to one of the things you like about him.

wait...like?

you couldn't help but choke at your own thoughts to which nishinoya shot you a concerned look. once you calmed down, you noticed that he kept glancing back at the wall clock then back at you then down at his fiddling hands.

“what's wrong?” you asked through a mouthful of food. yuu chuckled at the sight and shook his head.

“can i borrow a pen?” confused, you gave him one anyway. he grabbed the bag that your food was placed in, scribbling on it.

“thanks, i gotta go back now. break's over. bye!” he jogged back to his station and you were left weirded out by his actions. not only when you were preparing to leave the café did you notice the small note at the other side of the paper bag.

nishinoya yuu

xxx-xxx-xxx :)

you exited the café with your stomach and heart feeling full.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

“do you think they liked the treat? will they even text back?” nishinoya paced back and forth in their small staff room.

“what if they didn't read the note?!” he gasped, stopping in his tracks as he bites his nails in anxiety.

sugawara laughed at his junior's predicament, “relax! of course they'd love the treat, i did tell you it was their favorite. as for the number, you should probably be a little more patient with that, noya.” he advised, placing an assuring hand on noya's shoulder.

as if possessed by a spirit, nishinoya perked up and his agitated self was replaced with determination.

“you're right. i shouldn't worry about it too much. they'll come around!” as soon as he said that, his phone's ringtone resonated in the small space.

on his screen was an unknown number and he immediately knew it's you.

without wasting another moment, nishinoya picked up the phone and answered the call.

“h-hello, y/n?” he internally cursed at himself for stuttering.

“–john? is that you? how's your mother–”

dumbstruck, nishinoya abruptly ended the call and placed his phone on the table.

“what happened? what did they say?” sugawara inquired, eager to know what happened between the two.

“it's not them.” nishinoya deflated like a balloon, covering his face with his palms.

was he reading this right? what if you don't see him that way? what if he was just forcing himself on you and in reality you don't really reciprocate the emotions he felt whenever you enter the café?

with a little more positivity from his seniors and tanaka telling him that he shouldn't lose hope, nishinoya decided to go home feeling less energetic than usual.

it was not around midnight that he received a call from an unknown number. he hated that he felt excited, that maybe, just maybe at the other end it was you.

picking it up slowly, he breathed in and out, counting to five before he answered the call.

“hello, yuu? it's y/n. sorry i called at a time like this,”

his eyes lit up at the sound of your familiar voice. even through the phone it sounded as beautiful as ever.

he almost stumbled over the scattered clothes and mess that littered his bedroom floor when it is indeed you that called him, landing on his bed.

“y/n? it's really you! uh, don't worry about it. i'm not sleeping yet...totally not because i was waiting on you or anything!”

your laughter brought butterflies fluttering in his stomach, oh how he'd love to hear that sweet sound everyday. it got him smiling too as he listened to it.

“i'm sorry for making you wait. i was just busy with my studies and all...but, i've decided.”

“decided...on what?”

there was a pregnant pause on the other end, he thought that you might ended the call or something. but then you spoke up again.

“i wanna go on a date with you.”

he must be in heaven because there is no way in hell or earth that you'd want to go on a date with him. you, who looks so pretty, beautiful, elegant and charming that he's having a hard time if you're actually real. you, who never fails to make his days a little better at work whenever you waltzed in and decided to grace him with your presence. you, with your complicated mixture of coffee that he memorized in favor of impressing you and in hopes that you come back again to the café.

he couldn't believe it.

“y-yeah? that's great! so, when are you free?”

“i was thinking maybe saturday? if that's alright with you?”

“that's fine with me! i actually have a day off on saturday. same time? at the cafe?”

he can't help the grin that's practically splitting his face in half but he's just so happy. he immediately caught feelings for you the moment you walked inside crows' cabin and he can't get you out of his mind since.

the same thing can be said about you, which the only reason you're actually studying in the café and keep coming back there was for a whole another reason other than coffee. heck, you even find yourself thinking of him whenever you drink the beverage.

with a lovestruck look on your face, you nodded even though he couldn't see it.

“yeah, that would be great.”

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

when saturday came, to say that you were nervous and jittery would be an understatement. you can't stop looking at yourself in the mirror or literally any surface that you have a reflection on to make sure that you looked nice and presentable on your date with noya.

and due to that fact, you didn't notice him walking up to you, all smiles and looking as cute and handsome as ever.

“ready to go?” he asked, offering his elbow to you which you gladly accepted.

“where are we going?”

“it's a surprise,” he teased, flashing you a mischievous smile.

you went along with it. the two of you walked, stopped for some food and talked about what you both liked, disliked, and how he got the job at crows' cabin.

“–so i told ukai-san that i really need the money! i was actually just saving up for the new game i saw down the street but i made it sound like it's a life or death situation if he wouldn't hire me. in the end, i loved working there. i mean,” he gestured to the two of you, “because of it, i finally went on a date with a wonderful person!”

chuckling at him, you playfully pushed his shoulder.

“shut up,” you grumbled.

you can't help but admire him. the way he animatedly tell his stories with his own sound effects and grand gestures that never fails to make you laugh and rope you in with the story. he's fun to hang out with, knows a lot of stuff about the neighborhood and won't run out of tales.

“ah! we're here!” he paused walking to stop in front of your designated place.

he brought you to the movies.

“oh, wow...i didn't expect that,” you laughed sheepishly, trying not to offend him.

“i figured we'd watch a movie. ryuu said that there's this new horror movie that's a blockbuster nowadays,” quickly catching on to his plan, you smirked to yourself slightly.

“is that so? well, i'm pretty sure you'll protect me from the scary things in there, right, yuu?”

he seemed to puff up at that, “of course i will! what kind of man would i be if i can't protect you?”

that earned another laughter from you, shaking your head as you tugged his arm towards the direction of the entrance.

he insisted that he'd pay for the tickets and the food which surprised you a bit, but you couldn't really complain since he was being nice all day to you. you decided to just pay him back later.

as soon as the both of you are inside and the movie is playing halfway, you noticed how he's the one who is more scared of it than you. he's trying to play it off by coughing when he'd accidentally yell in surprise or laugh it off when he'd jolt up from a jumpscare.

how cute.

without saying a word, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. the feeling of your soft and warm hands brought him back to reality, looking down at your intertwined hands. his cheeks flared up and he thanked himself for choosing a horror movie or else this moment wouldn't happen.

“ah, i'm glad that movie was over!” he cried out in relief. all throughout the movie, he kept squeezing your hand hard like a woman giving birth or hiding on your shoulder when a jumpscare comes on. you gotta admit that you enjoyed his reactions more than the movie itself.

you were both now walking home – he insisted – and your hands are still holding each other, clearly not wanting to let go. by the time you walked out of the theatre, it's already nighttime.

the skies are clear and there are stars peppering the night sky. it's quiet out with an occassional passing vehicles, or a hoot of an owl but it's a comforting silence.

“this is me,” you mumbled, stopping on your tracks once you saw the familiar street your residence was in.

noya can't help but glance at the street behind you with a sad look and down at your still conjoined hands. he knows he should, but he wanted to spend the night with you longer.

“you sure you can make it home okay?” he gave you a pleading look, hoping that you'd let him at least walk you in front of your house.

“yeah, i'm sure.” with that, he let go of your hands hesitantly, linking your pinkies as he gave you a small, content but genuine smile.

“i really had fun today, yuu.” you avoided his gaze when you saw his smile widen in satisfaction. he laughed heartily at that.

“me too, even if i hid throughout the movie.” he rubbed the back of his head, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. he kept rambling about how he probably turned you off because of that and why he shouldn't have taken you to the movies but somewhere exciting instead.

goddamnit, you can't take it anymore.

leaning in, you closed the distance between the two of you and slotted your lips in his, closing your eyes. you felt his breath hitch at your actions, his hands coming up to hold your jaw.

just like everything about him, the kiss was breathtaking.

it felt like hours when you pulled away, his eyes was still closed as he savored the blissful moment you shared.

“thank you,” you whispered, as if any louder can ruin the magic.

you pushed his shoulders away gently, giggling as you walked home. nishinoya was left there, awestruck with a dumb smile on his face as he stared at your retreating figure like he just woke up from a beautiful dream.

“huh...? hey, wait! come back here!”

#haikyuu fluff #nishinoya yuu #yū nishinoya #nishinoya yuu x reader #nishinoya yuu x y/n #nishinoya fluff #haikyuu!! fanfiction #haikyuu #hq fanfic #nishinoya x reader #i might got a little carried away with this lmao but i think i liked?? this??#💫.nishinoya yuu #tarou writes 🌹

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