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#destroy everything I think will make me happy. even if it's not bad for me. take everything from me except You so I don't love it too much
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AITA for saying I'm not rich?
Wait stop hear me out
So the thing is, my father is wealthy. Or at least he made enough money to have two Ferraris and a boat, which to me are the most useless things because why would u spend that money on this when u could spend it on food or commodities but details
When I was young, any time I asked for money or something, he'd make a huge deal about it. He'd make me feel awful, so awful that I just stopped asking for anything at all, starting from my teenage years to my college years, and I survived entire months, living alone during college, with 50 dollars to get by. For groceries and bills. And yes, he was nice enough to pay for my rent (170 dollars back then) but every time I'd be the worst piece of garbage for asking him. Worst thing was, I wanted a job, but he had this delusion that any sort of job that would take me, basically customer service, i wanted was "underneath my daughter" so he legit didn't let me and he'd go to big, big hoops to not allow me to do so
I'd never buy clothes or other necessities: I spent my teenage years just putting together what I got from relatives to make some savings, and I'd survive on that. He'd go splendid on my birthday and christmas, I guess, he'd buy me things, but I came to dread those days because the thought of him spending money -and how he reacted to it- always sent me into a blind panic so yes even though I got nice gifts I was never happy about it and I really really don't like my birthday
So I was always the girl who had two Ferraris to my friends, and they'd always get mad at me when I honestly told them "actually Im not rich" or "I'm sorry I'd rather go to the cheaper place" - because I legit thought i wasn't - and called me an asshole. But This was my father's money and I lived with him, but I rarely saw an actual dollar, everything I bought was with my savings and I spent years and years accumulating it, hoarding it. So I lived in this fancy house, but I'd wear 3 dollar pants and worn shoes because that's what I could afford with my money.
Note that even paying my school fees was a nightmare to me, because my father openly said I was a parasite and screamed at me but whATEVER
So um, my friends always said i was an ass for saying I didn't have any money, when my father was swimming in it. But when u survive on the allowance ur aunt gave u for an entire month, u really don't feel like it? and I always always felt so bad about it, because it felt like they were right and I was an asshole for pretending I don't have money. Except I didn't. I really didn't. That was all his, not mine, and while he did pay school and college flat rent, he was always making sure I knew what a burden I was for it. So yes, I'd still say I was actually not rich - even though I was lucky enough to have someone pay for me.
Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that, when it's not mine and I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right
Note: I am a grown adult now, I live on my own, pay my own things and have my job. And he's happy that he doesn't have to pay for me anymore, is baffled by my relationship with money (I don't like spending it ahah), not so much about me not living with him though. (The weird thing is he wants me with him, but not to take care of me which, honestly, valid) I do have a better relationship with him, but we never talk money because I live on minimum wage - ironically enough in costumer service - and he doesn't, so to me spending 60 on groceries is a lot (150 bills destroy me honestly, so winter is a joy) and he always, always mocks me for it. It's weird how he goes around with a Rolex and snuffs me for wearing Primark pants and then people constantly just... Think I have money at all and get mad at me when I say I don't
Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that if it's not mine, if I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right
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yannaryartside · 2 days
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MY S3 PREDICTIONS
quite simple
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Seriously, my prediction is quite grim. I think this season, Carmy is going to be hearing the voice of his former boss in his head constantly while he tries to run the Bear like his restaurant in NYC and dive deep into depression because that is obviously going to destroy him.
I think Carmy is gonna start the season heartbroken and shit, then Richie (our man) will compel him to seek Claire because obviously Claire can fix him 🤮 Claire will come back because she has no self-respect and is an over giver who wants with an overtaker.
They are gonna date for a while and Carmy is gonna try to make it work and be happy.
Then, the trauma is gonna hit him hard, a manic episode or really bad depressive episode, maybe the pressure of the restaurant and critics (he hates that feeling). Still, because he is supposed to feel good (he has everything he has ever wanted, Claire, his brother's restaurant), he will not ask for help.
Springle here. Sydney may be dating Luca, and Carmy feels bad for having feelings for her or being jealous. His relationship with Claire never had a solid base, and he is starting to feel it. He doesn’t think he can talk to her about his depression. Also, considering Claire never advised Carmy on therapy when she witnessed his previous panic attacks, I am curious how she will manage being with him at his actual lowest.
And then, he is gonna have a dark moment. Maybe even setting the bear on fire (it was foreshadowed real hard) or even have a suicide attempt. Maybe is something people have to save him from.
And then, he is gonna think of Mickey, ask himself what his brother would tell him (there is a flashback episode with Mickey put it here).
Either way, Mickey, Sydney, something else, may want to make him see the light. Find the strength to fight back.
The rest I don’t know. I wonder if he is gonna cut people off through the season because he is back mentally at nyc suffering under his horrible boss (you should be dead”) and that is gonna hurt like shit. His friendship with Sydney may get closer, since she convinces herself that Carmy should be with Claire (Carmy said she was great, and so does everyone else). She may want to keep him as a mentor and partner, while Carmy realizes he wants more than that (hell yeah)
For Sydney, I want to see her being the leader that she is and finding her unique culinary voice. She should find a real mentor, propel herself (maybe in another restaurant to learn), and realize she can do this without Carmy. Give her a good love story and tell me the one that broke her heart. There should be a Syd-centered episode.
other things, not in order of importance:
I want Marcus to grieve and heal.
More about Luca's storyAngel and Sweeps more screentime.
I want the Bearzatto family to see Carmy's struggle/actual date preferences
Claire realizing how she chases men will hurt her.
I want our man Richie to become the greatest SydCarmy stan, but mostly Syd stan, because they may get close that season.
I think Richie may try to get Tiff back.
Also, justice for Nat, with Francine Fack and others. I want her to stand up to Donna.
Syd and Luca going on dates/sleeping together
Tina being like a mom to Syd
Nat and Syd being sisters to each other
Carmy meeting Emmanuel
Emmanuel being Carmy's and Richie's father figure
A little bit of Cicero mafia
Cicero a Syd stan
Nat's baby and Syd supporting her and encouraging her as a mother
Auntie Syd!
Syd and Donna meeting
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entamewitchlulu · 1 day
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I wasn't initially going to say anything, but i. honestly, i really just, could use some emotional support, i guess.
there's an awful lot going on in my life right now that's making me pretty miserable. to top it off, I recently got news from my dad that our dog, Indiana's health has gotten a pretty bad prognosis. the long story short is, he could possibly have cancer, and while there's surgery that could help, he's 15 years old, and even the prep exam for the surgery could be fatal for him. so it's unlikely that we'll end up going through with it, and a really hard decision has to be made about whether to let him go now while things are still mostly okay, or wait until things deteriorate.
I moved away from home for the first time just six months ago, and one of the things I was most upset about was leaving my dog behind, knowing he was getting old. I live an hour and a half away from home now, and I have been able to go home to visit just once in that time. I've seen him only once in the last six months.
Indiana is everything to me. I know he can't be with us forever, but the pain of not being able to be there during the last months of his life is destroying me. I have no idea what things are going to look like, if we'll have another year or two with him being in the world, or if I'm looking at a world where he isn't there anymore as soon as the next few weeks. I'm working 40 hours a week and I have a cat to think about now, so I can't just drop everything and go home to be near him for a while as much as I want to.
I'm not asking for anything in this post like surgery money or anything. Just......support, I guess. Living alone means there's no one to give me a hug most days, and I'm coping badly with it all. It's just another piece of bad news that's breaking me, and all I want is to feel a little less alone in facing it.
I just want people to know how much I love him. He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving dog I've ever known. He was found in a junkyard living in a truck and when we adopted him he didn't even have a name, just a number which was the date he was taken in by the shelter. He has a tiny little tail that wiggles like crazy when he's happy. He loves sitting in the car, not even to go anywhere, just to hang out. He's a huge fan of cheese and memorized the sound of a cheese stick opening so that he could get a small bite of mine whenever I had one. He's so good at "shake" that when you have a treat for him, he will paw the air wildly with one paw and then the other to show you just how good he is at doing it and how much he deserves his treat. Sometimes he gets the zoomies so insanely that he has to bolt all around the yard, in and out the door so fast that you'd think he was a cheetah in another life. He can turn on a dime. He's scared of fireworks and loud sounds because we made the mistake of taking him with us to a historical reenactment once and all the muskets and cannons scared him. He learned how to pull a cart once but we never kept up with it. He knows the word "rabbit" and loves to chase them around but never catches them. When he's happy to see you he'll press his whole head into your knees and lean so much that he almost knocks you over. He likes to press his whole body against you. When he lays down he sometimes splays his paws out to either side like a seal. His favorite toy is his stuffed rabbit and he cuddles with it all by himself.
I love him, so, so, so, so much. I can't be with him right now and it's killing me. I'm grieving him before he's even gone because I can't comprehend a world where he isn't in it and I don't know how else to prepare myself.
I don't know how to end this. He's still with us right now, but I don't know for how much longer. Please hug your pets for me tonight. Hold them close and remind them how much you love them. We don't get to have them in our lives forever as unfair as it is. I only wish it could be a little longer.
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sacha-da-1 · 2 years
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Vent post
I hate feeling jealousy so much. I don’t want to be jealous of my best friend’s partner, but it’s a feeling I haven’t been able to shake yet.
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok mutuals. i am waiting for my first layer of paint to dry (it looks like shit rn lol but if this turns out good i might post it) and im still debating whether or not to say anything now that ive written the letter. like to say that this sucks. there’s that post i just rbed that’s like don’t hold back bc you think it’s cringe but then i saw another post tonight abt a Very specific situation that is not fair for me to be thinking abt in this way but the jist of it (removing the context) was that u shouldn’t burden ppl w ur grief when they make necessary decisions that make them happy. so it’s like ok. and again this is me taking that latter post completely and inappropriately out of context but realy shouldnt / doesn’t ir apply to all situations where someone is making a choice for their own happiness that takes their idealized version of you away from them. grief and everything that comes with it is burdensome and makes the other person feel guilty when ultimately it isn’t even about you. and i know bc ive been on the other side of this situation so many times and have been angry and frustrated when (specific) ppl grieve me for not being who they needed me to be. but this is my first time EVER being on the other side actually in a way that is actually real and not just in my head or metaphorical lol. i fear it literally all the time ofc but this is the first time in my life where someone is leaving me (and CHOOSING to) and not when im leaving either by choice or by like… by virtue of having to progress into a new school or mandatory study abroad or whatever. and it fucking sucks so bad.and if it was me doing this i would want her to talk to me abt how hurt / angry / sad she was and *i* would be hurt / angry / sad if she felt like she needed to hold back but… she is wired differently and needs different things and i truly think me telling her that this is dealing me psychological damage i will carry with me for the rest of my life is only going to be unhelpful and make her angry and uncomfortable. lol
#if i had a relationship w her where we talked abt feelings (like everyone else on our staff team but me 😍) then it would be ok. but in order#to tell her this i would have to be making like a huge leap of saying yeah no we haven’t talked like this before and im forcing us to. and I#uhhhh do not think she would react well to that. i would do it if it was anyone but her but i am terrified of burdening her with me. which I#have proof of btw like she just.. idk. i mean it’s not proof. but every time i have talked abt emotional stuff when she’s been present she h#has like… idk. checked out. visibly and tangibly. i can’t go into a lot of detail abt it LOLLLL but this is a pattern. and then i hear abt h#how she ***** ** *** ***** and like…. i sound kinda jealous talking abt it BECAUSE I AM! i do not see that version of her at all. and that#is literally all i want if i talk to her abt it. to just say like.. hi. we have not talked like this before but you are about to leave and#it has destroyed everything including me. this is hurting me for particular reasons some of which may shock you. i need you to know that. an#and i want us to start telling us things and being close even though you’re literally leaving and won’t be an everyday figure in my life#anymore like you have been for the last 4.5 years lol bye 😍😍😍😍😍😍 like that’s all i want. is just to establish the closeness and make plans t#to maintain it. idk. it’s like cringe and creepy. and i KNOW also that if we talk and i try to tell her how i feel i will do that thing wher#where i cry so hard i can’t even speak through it which im almost certain i will do in front of her tomorrowanyway LOLLLL so. but yeah i#don’t think she is gonna be very comfortable with that and i can’t make her u comfortable or burden her bc she needs to do this for her and#i want her to be happy even if it’s not here. but it hurts soo fucking bad like do you realize how important you are to me and how i was#looking forward to this so much and you fucking pulled out the rug from under us and i don’t know how to be without you. lollllll. CRINGE#purrs#delete later#ok my paint is almost dry lol! win#but also there’s like. ok i will shut upi promise. bit there’s also like… am i thinking this thru clearly / rationally or am i projecting#and assuming things and like… fumbling my way thru this situation for the first time bc ive never been in it before and don’t know what to#do or what’s helpful and what’s not. i know i am depriving myself of love and comfort and things that would make this easier to cope with b#but is that the right thing to do or is it stupid and foolish. i don’t think there’s a right / good / painless way thru this. lol#<- freak <- irredeemable <- embarrassingly immature and naïve given requirements of current job let alone life experiences to this point
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mejomonster · 2 months
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I finished final fantasy vii rebirth and. Some mixed opinions.
The main good points: as a Sequel to original FF7? Its good. The women are all written well (which was a concern considering Kairi and Lunafreya in past games), and everyone was in character just fleshed out more (with 2 slight exceptions). What the game did best was accomplish an open world game, world spanning adventure, stick fairly well to some main highlights from original ff7 (which is what people wanted for ages) and with new stuff thats fun if you like the world, very little wasting of player time (so much better than ff7 remake). It did open world well, pacing well, side quests and mini games well, characters well, combat well, and overall gave the feel of what square enix was maybe Hoping and Wishing to successfully accomplish in a mainline game for years but either hasnt been able to achieve on a technical level or fumbled in the past. (So no time wasting dungeons like ff7 remake, fleshed out open world with stuff you enjoy doing so more than ff15, open world so more than ff13, and combat that feels like things theyve learned and improved on well). How it feels to play? Great, fast paced, no dead time, all enjoyable game you came to play. (With the exception maybe of Cait Siths box mandatory mini game and the aerith in ancient temple magic platforms thing but they both werent too difficult to push through if you dont enjoy them).
The bad? Mostly... if you treat Rebirth as a SEQUEL to original ff7, these arent major issues. They just annoy me as a player of the original ff7 game. Because i know plenty of people will ONLY play ff7 Remake and Rebirth etc, and never know the original characterizations. So 2 characters were slightly unlike their original ff7 selves, and instead more like their Advent Children (and general non ff7 appearances) selves: aerith and sephiroth. Sephiroth's character being NOT like ff7 originals is more irritating personally. Because yeah... i get it. As a sequel to original ff7, this Remake/Rebirth Sephiroth might be from the future (so he is Advent Children esque version of himself), hes had time post losing his way to really get all mysterious and hyperfocus on cloud and be a looming vague pest. But the thing is... in the original ff7 the reason we learn hes used to be a SOLDIER war hero, is so the cast and you are confused why he kills Shinra people. Then you and the casy figure: well cloud remembers sephiroth finding out hes a monster cause of shinra, justifiable for sephiroth to hate shinra. Unflrtunately Sephiroth also decided to hate ALL HUMANS. Then you later find out maybe Jenovas controlling Sephiroth/one with him etc. But the key here is you find out at some point in original ff7 that sephiroths goal is mainly Destroy World because Hes not Human. Rebirth... does not clarify this very important and very BASIC point ever. Maybe it assumes its so basic that as a ff7 fan you should know.. but plenty of new players wont. Rebirth clarifies yes sephiroth may be Jenovas kid... but the whole MOM, im an ancient like Jenova! Oh Jenova isnt an ancient oh well fuck humans anyway! Either way fuck humans ill kill them all! None of those Very basic sephiroth motives are clarified much. I felt Rebirth did good explaining the Gi and the black materia. But to make Sephiroths motives so vague, why he wants to end the world SO VAGUE, why hes in clouds head (the black robes are everywhere but the game HINTS theure sephiroth clones but never actually spells it out eevn though its a BASIC KEY DETAIL). Now... because Rebirth is a sequel, it makes sense... if hes Advent Children Sephiroth he already knows he isnt an ancient, knows hes Jenovas kid, knows he wants to fuck with Cloud specifically now and the world generally but not necessarily so singlemindedly desperate to just kill all humans. So yes, Sephiroth is in character for his future self... but i feel like even with him less SINGLE MINDED and freshly with Jenova, clarifying some basics of his Original old timeline motives... would be helpful to new fans. So it annoyed me. I think the biggest Not Good writing decision in Rebirth was to never fucking clarify Sephiroths original basic goal: im not human like mom, hate humans, kill world. I suspect the writers either thought players KNEW so hinted instead of being on the nose (but to new players theyll just be CONFUSED), or they plan to explain those basic things in game 3. Which seems stupid to me and shouldve been explained earlier.
And Aerith. As a sequel? She remembered the other timeline which explained some moments she was calmer than original ff7. She forgot, then toward the end of Rebirth she seems to have remembered the other timeline again and that she needs to die and X happens etc. So her being calmer based on the plot they wrote for Rebirth? Makes sense. However... i deeply miss her Original FF7 personality where as an Ancient she freaks out a bit LIKE sephiroth, paralleling him, that shes not human, a freak, that it all rests on her as only one ancient left. Their overwhelm parallels each other. Aerith is more scared in original ff7 of being the only ancient, of what it means, of finding out more. That fear is slightly there in Rebirth but WAY LESS. its only a little in cosmo canyon and almost gone in the Ancient Temple. In ff7 expanded universe theyve changed her character over time to a calmer wiser goddess type like in Advent Children, and so yes in Rebirth when she remembers the alrernate timeline it makes sense she'd be calmer like her future self. However... i miss original ff7 aerith. I miss her initial shock, loneliness, fear of the weight on her shoulders, not being sure what to do. Her and Sephiroth, because of Rebirth writing them to know more, act more like their future selves and so. While it is in character and logical to the Rebirth plot. Its also sad to me that anyone who only plays Remake and Rebirth simply wont see what they were like WHEN these revelations were brand new shocks to them, forcing them to react and grow and fear. I dont think Aerith is written bad, i just think because this game is in reality is a Sequel im just personally mourning that it didnt have that as much of the original Aerith's personality who was afraid and discovering. Mostly her Rebirth personality is similar to original ff7s. But in some high tension moments shes way calmer and wiser than in the original. I miss getting to see some of that before to after character growth.
Oh and. The aerith dies scene. Does it make sense in context of Rebirth written as a sequel? Sure. Is it impactful? Not as much as the original. In Rebirth, theres a scene where Cloud is losing control and listening to Sephiroth and attacks Tifa, causing Tifa to fall into mako. That scene is high stakes and emotional and lands WELL. Later in Rebirth, when Aerith actually dies, Cloud has not lost control and isnt the one who killed her. Its fine, as a sequel to ff7 i get the choice to make him able to stop himself from hurting her. But it does make the scene less impactful: now cloud will NOT be blaming himself for her death, will not be struggling with the guilt and fear, and will not be as terrified of losing control again. Since he wasnt the one who attacked her. And since he saw her ghost/something post death, hes not even sad or grieving her. He thinks shes fine. These 2 things will result in a WILDLY DIFFERENT cloud moving forward than the original ff7 one who very much was distraught and horrified he did that. So like... as a sequel its fine these changes were made. But death wise... i wouldve prefered like, cloud drops her from up high qhile struggling with whispers, or doesnt get to her in time and sephiroth stabs her when shes too far away. The way Rebirth did it, cloud was near her, she gets stabbed anyway. It seemed to me almost like the writing was trying to vaguely or softly kill her, like somehow making it vague would make it hurt less. Yeah it did hurt less... but id rather if a character i love dies that its a Worthy Scene for them to die in. A strong meaningful scene that makes me cry, that felt like the loss it is. The Rebirth scene... couldve done its plot as intended and just make Cloud farther away or something and it wouldve been better to me. Maybe the writing point was Cloud thinks its fine, and its still not, and he cant even feel distaught because he cant tell if she died or if things are fine? Thats the only angle i can see where maybe the death scene did what the writers wanted? Anyway. Aeriths moms death made me sob, Aeriths death did not. It is what it is. I feel like Tifa, crying in my heart off screen, the game acting like Cloud like its fine and it looks fine to him but im confused like Tifa aa to why hes (the game) treating it that way. Lol.
Overall? Um 4/5. 8/10? Really solid square enix game, Amazing as far as final fantasy 7 SEQUELS go. It has one main weak spot in treating Sephiroth fully mysterious when a few clarifying details could help the game stand on its own Better (and make Sephiroth a stronger enemy character instead of a vaguer one). The other weak spots are more my personal preference and mourning the parts of ff7 original i miss and had wished were in this, but as this is a Sequel in a parallel timeline i dont feel the parts effect Rebirth on its own merit. It IS the best Square Enix game ive played in ages, at least since Final Fantasy X or XII. I thought it was better than FF13, FF15, definitely better than ff7 remake (i hate time wasting dungeons and bad pacing its a dealbreaker), and than kh3 (although kh3 was quite good for a kh sequel). I get to play FF16 next, which will hopefully be as good as Rebirth or better! Since its also on the PS5 and clearly from Rebirth, the square enix main team can do excellent combat, open world, level design, mini games, side quests, and good pacing now. So i'll just have to see if ff16's story is better. And i am guessing it hopefully will be, since Rebirth as an ff7 sequel has some weirdness to its plot quite typical of ff7 extended universe stories like Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus. Whereas ff16 is a brand new plot, so they have nothing preventing them from a tight excellent written story except themselves. I am curious how BIG ff16s world will be though. Because ff7 Rebirths world was MASSIVE and very full of stuff, tons of mini games, cool stuff to find or do or little character side quests. If ff16 also takes me 60 hours to beat the main story its gonna be thw longest final fantasy main title ive ever played.
Rebirth is very replayable if you enjoyed it. I will probably replay ff7 original soon.
#final fantasy vii rebirth#ff7r#lb#rant#oh and shipping discourse lol: if you ship tifa x aerith? GREAT TIME#tifa mourns aerith more than cloud does. tifa aerith ARE IN LOVE. great time for me as an aerti fan and ot4 fan#i do think in theory the writers had aerith x cloud scenes more in Rebirth since aerith dies at the end. and predict game 3 will have#more tifa x cloud scenes. so itll be even by the end. i think everything was in character tho tbh#(in my opinion anyway)#like. aerith x tifa x cloud x zack i ship and they clearly all CARE for each other. zack loves aerith but also saved cloud#when aerith likes cloud. zack is big enough to be happy for aerith and want her to have what SHE wants.#cloud loved zack and was so fucked emotionally when zack died he convinced himself he WAS zack. tifas his childhood crush. aerith likes him#and he gradually does like her back too. (clouds very not interested in crushes tho tbh. hed happilt be in ot3 with#tifa and aerith or ot4 with zack or ot3 with barret too if they just told him to be)#and tifa loves cloud but wisely isnt sure how he feels OR whats going on mentally with him. and is focusing on building trust#that cloud will communicate with her BEFORE getting romantic (shes wise we should all copy her). and she loves aerith. which is goof#cause cloud isnt giving aerith some care she Needs. but Tifa always does give aerith that support.#tifa knows aerith likes cloud. so tifa simply is likinv her 2 crushes (happy to be in an ot3 if aerith and cloud would start it)#but tifas shy and slow going ans values friends MORE so shes not making any major moves until she knows the other 2 aerith and cloud#are emotionally stable (and theyre lol not)#and now shes grieving aerith so :/. my point is: all the romance is written very in character#very similar to original ff7. and if ur a tifa AND aerith as characters fan like me?#its really NICE to have 2 main woman leads in a game (with romance even) who are full characters ON THEIR OWN#and really well written and with relationships outside of cloud. (again... after lunafreya and kairi#i was worried tifa or aerith as love interests might get written BAD or flat or destroyed writing wise#by some shitty square enix writer *cough* who tends to butcher woman characters if theyre love interests)#so im super glad i could just enjoy tifa and aerith#also as a Non romance lover. i enjoyed that Rebirth focused HEAVY on friends but had very little actual romance#flirting yeah sure. but aerith and tifa never even kissed cloud in my playthrough (yay for me)#their crushes are just side details they mention to be direct and communicate (wise of them) but the romance isnt the main point
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neverendingford · 9 months
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#tag talk#okay I think one of the things I love most about the specific kind of furry art that I follow is that so much of it involves big smiles.#the pieces that make my brain light up and buzz are often the ones with characters unabashedly grinning#even pieces that feel a little samey and unoriginal are easily redeemed by a character shamelessly smiling happily#people don't smile enough. somehow I'm usually considered an outlier with how much I smile#sometimes if I've been having a bad couple of weeks when I bounce back my face will hurt with how much I smile because the muscles are stiff#but like. people need to smile more. I remember in high school I deliberately worked on finding beauty in everything.#worked on seeing people and thinking nice things about them. Wishing well for them.#idk if I just fell into my natural tendency or managed to psychology myself while at my most vulnerable. but either way it worked for me#anyway. peace and love and happiness on planet earth because we all have the ability to smile lovingly at people we don't even know#we have the ability to be patient when people get embarrassed at mistakes they make. the ability to forgive when someone accidentally hurts#but don't ever forget the ability to stare coldly and harshly into the eyes of a malicious asshole who knows they're being rude and mean.#that's a very important skill to hold onto#if we're made in a god's image then surely we should remember that we have the capacity to destroy malicious people same as it can#but the world grows on connection. we build up using love. and would you not rather be happy? I know I would
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yeslordmyking · 2 years
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Lord forgive me. I'd rather go back to having fun than serving You. I don't see doing Your work as fun and satisfying, and think I can have a little of both. Never let me go back. Let complete holiness and rejection of the world satisfy me as Your word promises it's supposed to.
#never let me go back to TV with sin. never let me go back to music with sin. never let me go back to YouTube with sin#never let me go back to loving and supporting sinners. never let me go back to selfish dreams that only serve me#never let me go back to setting up a future and a hope in this life instead of Heaven#never let me go back to being in the world and thinking as long as I don't do certain things it guarantees me Heaven.#and if I do go back never let me smile or feel joy again until I permanently repent of enjoying this sinful world and return to You#it's not hard. our flesh just thinks it is because it loves this life. shame on us. shame on me. take it from me. destroy my weak heart#destroy everything I think will make me happy. even if it's not bad for me. take everything from me except You so I don't love it too much#never let me be that foolish again#even if it absolutely crushes me to look at everything I love or want and say 'i hate that and I hope God never lets me have it'#even if my weak flesh and heart give out under the heartbreak of rejecting the world I love. let my soul leave that flesh and enter Heaven#the only thing that is true and matters#or.... let me be wrong and allowed to love some things that may not benefit You but don't harm my soul. if that exists#because I'm »vexxed« and I feel like I'm always in trouble with You Lord simply for hoping and dreaming#that maybe I can handle abundance. or maybe there are good celebrities that obey Your gospel that I can be a fan of#or that I can have fun with meaningless things like TV and fashion and you'll be ok with my indulgence of the flesh#kill all of those lies and make me obedient and devout without being compromised by flesh and emotions anymore#it's not hard it's not hard it's not hard it's not hard it's not hard#hear my prayers#christian struggles#disobedient#disappointing God#shame on me#lover of worldly people#lover of the world#lover of sin#lukewarm#have mercy on me Lord#forgive me Lord#killing my heart to save my soul#be holy not happy
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inthedoghousern · 4 months
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i miss you, i'm sorry
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: you and lando break up and a few months later he wants to talk. inspired by "i miss you, i'm sorry" by gracie abrams.
contains: angst
1.9k words
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from: lando (1 new message) december 4, 11:07pm
hey, i'm back in uk for a bit.
You stare at the text for who knows how long. A lump forming in your throat. You had spent hours crying over him. You had spent hours moving back to the UK from the Monaco flat you shared. A text from your ex was the last thing you needed right now.
to: lando december 4, 11:31pm
okay.
A few minutes go by and you get no response. But then your phone lights up with an incoming call, it’s Lando. You stare at it for a few seconds, letting it ring. But you do pick up.
“What do you want.”
Your ex was quiet for a few seconds before he simply replied “I’m just calling to ask how you’re doing.” After this, he was silent for yet another short moment.
“I miss you.”
“Lando…” you trail off. “This isn’t fair.” He was the one who broke things off in the first place. You've been destroyed for weeks, and now just starting to get yourself together.
“I know, I know this is my fault… but just hear me out…” Lando began, but there was a hitch in his voice. He remained silent after this and you could hear his quickening breaths.
“Please… I want us to work this out.”
You're silent for a few moments. “What, you want to just pretend nothing happened? Lando, I don’t think you understand what you’ve been putting me through.”
Lando was silent once more. There was no way he could expect you to instantly forgive him. Your trust in him was shattered and your heart was stomped on.
“No, I don’t want to pretend like everything is fine, it’s not and I know that… please, I just need some time with you so we can talk, that’s all I ask.”
You bite the inside of your lip. This is a bad idea. Hearing his voice is already breaking your heart over and over again. Seeing him might just break you entirely. “I don’t know…”
Lando was still quiet, seemingly thinking about your response. After several seconds, he spoke again.
“Can I come over?”
Again, you're silent for a few moments.
“Fine.”
“I’ll be there soon…” Lando tells you and hangs up.
-
You hear the doorbell ring. You walk over and open the door.
Lando was standing before you dressed in a black hoodie. His curls were messy and you could tell from the way he had his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, that he was nervous.
You open the door wider and move to the side. Not saying anything out loud, but telling him to come in.
Lando stepped into the house and the silence between you two was deafening. He removed his hands from his pockets and glanced around, he had never been inside your new place before. Eventually, his eyes settle on you.
You two don't say anything for several seconds, but the tension in the air is suffocating. This is the first time you have seen each other since the day he broke up with you.
-
Past: August 8th, Monaco.
“Lando, what are you talking about?” Tears are welling up in your eyes and you're trying your best to keep your voice steady.
“This just isn’t working,” he responds. He won’t even look at you.
“Lando,” you plead. “This is out of nowhere, you have to see that.” You take another step towards him, he’s still not making eye contact with you and he doesn’t respond.
“Please just tell me what’s wrong. What can I do?” You're grasping at anything. “Lando look at me.” You gently grab the sides of his face and try to meet his eyes.
Lando finally met your gaze but he wouldn’t hold it for long.
“Neither of us is happy.” Lando’s voice had a hard edge to it, it was clear that he was struggling to keep his voice from breaking.
You let go of him and pull back. His response sends you over the edge, your tears are uncontrollable now.
“What are you talking about?” you sob. “Lando, what is this really about? Don't do this.”
Just the other day you were smiling, tangled up with one another. He was whispering sweet nothings in your ear, you did the same back. Everything was perfect. Everything has been perfect for days, weeks, months, years. He said himself everything is perfect. He said himself that he loved you.
“It has to be like this okay?” Lando replied, his voice cracked with emotion. He was clearly trying to keep himself from crying.
“Then explain! Tell me why. Lando, please we can work this out.” Your voice is shaking and tears are still pouring out of your eyes.
The look on his face is blank, he doesn't know what to say. He couldn’t keep looking at you, it was clear he was trying to keep his composure.
The two of you stand opposite of one another, not moving until Lando finally speaks.
“I’m sorry.”
He says nothing else. You both stand in silence, tears streaming silently from your eyes. They start to fall from his too. “I’m sorry? That’s it?” you finally say in a low voice, with a small hint of anger.
“3 years you’re destroying just like that, and the only thing you can give me is an I’m sorry?”
Lando looks down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with you.
You shake your head and rub your eyes. This can’t be real. “Oh my god,” you choke out with a laugh. A scoff? You're in disbelief. You're pissed. You're devastated.
Lando remained silent. He can't bring himself to respond to you as he knows nothing he can say would make this situation any better. He was a mess of emotions himself, he could feel his head spinning.
You just stand and look at him. Eventually, you turn away and start grabbing your stuff. Essential items at least. You don’t want to start thinking about getting the rest of your stuff out of this flat. Your life that’s accumulated in this space over the past 3 years.
Lando remained silent, he was lost in his thoughts, thinking about what he had just done.
-
Present: Glastonbury, December.
Lando stands in front of you, feeling overwhelmed with guilt and remorse for what he had done.
He broke your trust, he crushed your heart, and now, he's shown up at your doorstep, wanting to talk to you.
You walk into the kitchen and lean against the counter. He follows you, standing in the doorway, watching you.
He knows he shouldn't have come here. He knows he doesn't deserve a second chance with you after how he treated you.
Lando looks at you, his heart aching, wishing he could simply hold you close right now.
“So?” you finally ask.
Lando was silent for a few seconds, looking into your eyes with deep sorrow.
“I…” Lando stumbles over his words momentarily, trying to find the right thing to say.
You don't wait for him to find it.
“Am I ever going to get an explanation? Why you did it.” You can feel tears forming and you're trying your best to hold them back. He’s been here for all of 5 minutes.
The two of you stand in silence, with neither of you wanting to speak. Finally, Lando takes a deep breath.
“I was a mess,” Lando began slowly. He looks at you, his gaze fixed on yours. You could see the sadness in his eyes, he was clearly struggling with his emotions again.
“Racing was pulling me in all different directions. I was losing grip on that balance we had." Lando’s voice was shaky. He couldn’t help but feel like he had made a horrible mistake by ending things and letting you walk out of his life.
“I was overwhelmed, I don't know. Everything just fell apart and I had to choose. You were never anything but supportive. It’s my fault.”
You bite the inside of your lip again. You're really trying to stop yourself from crying. “That’s not good enough.” You cross your arms across your chest. “We-“ your voice breaks. "...We could've talked about it. If that's how you were feeling, we should've talked about it."
“I know that’s not enough…” Lando begins, “There’s so much I want to say… please, just hear me out. I know you must hate me right now but… I still love you.”
You break. The tears start flowing from your eyes because of his last statement. You quickly bring one of your hands to your face, trying to brush the tears away.
Seeing the tears stream down your cheeks immediately makes Lando take a step towards you. He doesn’t hesitate. He takes your hand in his, removing it from your face and wiping the tears off for you.
Finally, his eyes meet yours again, and without saying more, Lando pulls you into a close embrace.
You start sobbing into his shoulder. You've missed him so much. It's like you've had an unhealable wound ever since the day he completely ripped himself out of your life.
Lando holds you tightly, pressing his cheek against your head, and wrapping his arms around you. He could feel your body shaking with your sobs, he had never felt so much guilt before.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
You don’t know how long it's been when you pull away. Your eyes meet once again as Lando grabs your face, his thumb running across your jawline.
“I ruined us. I know that. But please, it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made,” he says low.
You don’t know what to say. He’s holding you the way you tried to hold him that day. But now you're the one with no words.
You should get more of an explanation. You deserve more of an explanation. But his hands are cradling your face, and you look into his eyes and you want to get lost in them. You want to cry even more.
“I’ve missed you so much,” you finally get out.
Lando could see the emotion in your eyes, your voice was cracking, your entire body seemed on edge. He wanted nothing more than to simply hold you close.
Before any words leave his mouth, Lando presses his lips against yours. The kiss was passionate and deep, he didn’t care that this wasn’t exactly the right moment, he wanted to finally feel you again.
The kiss tastes salty from your tears. But you kiss him back. Maybe you shouldn’t.
You continue to kiss, neither of you wanting to stop, letting your emotions take over as you feel a familiar level of comfort with one another. You both feel a sense of relief at this moment like a weight has been lifted off of you.
You could feel Lando’s heart beating against yours as he continued, one hand on your face, the other on your back, pulling you closer.
When you break the kiss, Lando pulls away slightly, just enough so that the two of you could lock eyes. You both seem to be in an emotional daze as Lando’s hand runs from your face to the back of your neck.
“Can I stay?” he whispers to you, his voice sounding shaky, but you could hear the pleading in it.
You nod as your eyes travel all over his face. You don't want to look away, you're scared if you do he'll disappear again.
Lando kisses your forehead and pulls your body closer, the two of you still in an embrace.
You feel the weight of his body against yours and you sink into him, feeling all of the comfort you missed. Lando was feeling the same thing, not wanting to let you go, not wanting to let this moment end.
You know there's so much more to talk about. So much more he needs to explain. But right now it can wait. Right now, you just want to be with Lando. Right now, he just wants to be with you.
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hi! can you do a percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader? she's supposed to not have children but it would be pretty interesting if she did, and im curious🤍🤍
⋆⭒˚.⋆ percy jackson x daughter of hera! reader hcs
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content: percy jackson x daughter of hera! reader hcs warning: i was about to say none all happy like but literally the second line has 'fuck' so...language author's note: okay okay still rereading rn and i have vague memories of hating hera for some reason that is alluding me but i've made the excitative decision that all of whatever she did that was so bad to piss 12 yr old me off...doesn't exist???? if i ever write anything that agrees with canon, kill me bc it's NOT me yall it is an imposter fr
forbidden girl with forbidden boy????
i like to imagine zeus pissed off hera, as he often does, and she was just like 'okay fuck you' and slept with a marriage counselor
but also connected with him on an emotional level bc like i feel like she needs that??? idk, not a huge fan of hers but whatevas
i just know as the daughter of marriage, you value loyalty about everything else
which is why percy, who's fatal flaw is loyalty, is perfect for you.
you know he's loyal, so loyal it'll kill him
that's the kinda man you need
also, the princess treatment is real
hera has her eyes on you, always
youre her only child, like, ever.
of course she's watching you every second of every day
zeus can't even kill you if he wanted too, hera having grown too fond and would surely destroy all of olympus if he tried
your cabin would have a very soft and pastel aesthetic and honestly percy prefers it to his cabin
also i feel like you would be vegetarian at the least bc like...that's fucked up if you eat cow...like your mom would not be happy with that
if you are, percy goes out of his way to make sure your comfortable
"oh, is that vegetarian?? no?? then get it tf away from me and my precious girl???"
forces (she would do it willingly) sally to fill the freezer with vegetarian snacks just for when you come over
also, you like always look put together.
even in sweatpants and one of percy's shirts, your hair manages to fall in just a perfect way and your eyelashes look like they have mascara on but you don't
just a pretty pretty princess fr
percy goes out of his way to spoil you just because he wants to, no other reason
"why are you giving me a peacock??"
"...do you want it or not?"
"hEY! mr. prince would like you not to refer to him as an 'it' anymore." you huff, crouching down and instantly pulling the peacock into your arms, cooing at him gently
"wait, wait, you can talk to it??"
"HIM!"
"WHATEVER"
so in love
also your father??? best man ever
loves percy
loves you
in that order too
jk jk i kid
not really tho
he's just a man who's really in touch with his emotions and he was just such a good father to you, subtly making you comfortable with the concept of greek gods and whatnot as a child
also, jason and thalia?? best step siblings ever
they just welcome you into the family without even thinking about it
one second you weren't there and then the next you were.
when percy comes around asking for permission to marry his daughter, your father just smirks and shakes his head at percy
"you're asking the wrong parent, percy."
which is exactly what percy didn't want to hear
he didn't want to talk to your mother, the GODDESS AND PERSONIFICATION of marriage, about marrying her only daughter.
surprisingly, hera took it pretty okay, instantly gushing about how pretty you'll look at your wedding.
percy joined in and then it was just the two of them raving about how pretty you were
which was a topic percy could talk about all day
actually, anything to do with you, could leave him yapping for days or weeks or months
that's just how enamored he is
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pupkashi · 10 months
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boyfriend!yuta headcanons
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a/n: i have been having major yuta brainrot as of late ,, here u guys go ! i hope these are too badly ooc seeing as though I’ve only written for him a couple times ! they’re a bit all over the place so plz lmk what y’all think :3
wordcount: 1,183
masterlist
first things first this boy is an absolute nervous wreck anytime he’s around you before he asks you out, I’m talking stuttering and fumbling over his words, looking anywhere but you, trying his best to not embarrass himself (he inevitably does poor guy)
asks you out when it’s just the two of you, on a picnic or watching a movie, his palms are sweaty because what if he just hallucinated you saying you liked him back and this is a big mistake??
okok this boy would definitely wear those ‘i love my s/o’ shirts, starts off as a joke, then wears it unironically because yeah, he does love you, what about it??
the biggest simp in the world yall, does anything you want him to, buys you whatever you want whenever you want it, you tell him jump he’s asking how high while already jumping
it’s a serious problem, considering you now have to make it clear that just because you say something is nice doesn’t mean you want it
“this sweater is nice right yuu?” “yeah it is really nice” ,,,, “yuta why do you have two bags?” “i got you the sweater in every color you like :3”
you’re always getting packages at your door, handing them to him only for him to say ‘oh that’s actually for you!’
the worst part of this is he absolutely hates when you get him something, always telling you to spend your money on yourself or save it, saying he has everything he needs already
still accepts your gifts with open arms, over the moon because ‘you really thought of me ?? i love you :(‘ he literally is ‘🥺’ if it was a person
calls you every sweet nickname he can think of: baby, babe, sweetheart, darling, my love, honey (he tends to favor my love and darling)
you tend to call him things like: baby, lover, pretty boy, angel
he turns into an absolute blushing mess when you call him pretty boy and angel, giggling and trying to not forget what he was talking to you about in the first place
the kind of boyfriend who will buy you flowers weekly, no matter what.
ever since he overheard you on the phone talking about how much you loved his ‘just because’ flowers, he made it a reoccurring purchase at a local flower shop
gets you all your favorite snacks when he just so happens to stop by at a convenience store, handing them to you with a happy grin, ‘we can have movie night with snacks now!’
has your coffee order memorized before you guys even started dating, rarely asks if you want some, usually just surprises you with it <3
he is such a homebody boyfriend :( prefers calm and cozy nights in sipping on hot chocolate cuddles in warm blankets over going out
takes you out to nice restaurants though !! especially if you like going out, he’ll take you on all kinds of dates
goes ice skating, amusement parks, the fair, laser tag (you destroyed him), escape rooms, literally everything
at restaurants if you’re between two things to order he’ll get one of the ones you want so you get try both :3
if you don’t like what you ordered he’ll swap with you / will tell you to order something different, saying he’ll take the other plate home and eat it tomorrow so you don’t feel bad abt it <3
LOVES going grocery shopping with you </3 finds it so domestic and lovely to be able to pick you celery with you (he also gets excited when you ask him what he wants to eat so you can get the stuff for it)
he’ll always tell you he wants to bake cookies and other treats with you, grabbing all the ingredients and grinning at you sheepishly when the cart starts to get full
“we came here for four things, how did you manage to make me get all these things” “cause you love me” he giggles
giggles at everything you say !!!!! topples over laughing when you tell a joke (we get it bro you love us 😭)
it’s so easy to make him blush and flustered, literally just winking at him makes his brain short circuit (let’s not get started on when you two make out) (he whimpers 🤭)
has pictures of you as his lockscreen, always smiles a bit when he unlocks his phone, when he’s away on missions he finds himself checking the time more often than he really needs to
AMAZING TEXTER !!!!! will reply to you very quickly and address all your messages and reacts to all the things you send him (everyone is amazed because is this the same yuta who left them on deliver red for three days before replying ??)
he is SO the jealous type ,, he tries not to be, really he hates having negative emotions of any kind, but he can’t help it :(
his entire demeanor changed drastically when someone starts flirting with you, he’s standing up straighter, clenching his jaw and has that threatening look on his face, no sign of the once cheerful and bubbly boy
he’s wrapping an arm around you, tugging on your hand and trying to get you alone so he can make out with you and remind both you and himself that you’re only his <33
insanely protective of you !!! he’ll be holding your hand in public, always making sure he knows where you are, in crowded areas he has one hand on your waist to help you through the crowds <33
will obliterate anyone who even tries to threaten you, ‘look at them again and you’ll be wishing i had killed you’ but in a not creepy and actually very 🦋way yk ?
really listens to you and everything you have to say, asking questions about your interests and genuinely loves listening to you talk about the things you like <3
i know he gets u literally everything but he gives you amazing and thoughtful gifts for special occasions !! he manages to always get you perfect gifts every single time <3
he compliments you everyday without fail, no matter where he is in the world, he will ALWAYS tell you how stunning you look !!!
reminds you everyday how much he loves you, telling you and leaving you little notes, writes you love letters like he’s away at war even though he’s most likely to get back before the letter even ships
cooks you dinner when he has the chance (he’s actually a pretty good cook!!) going all the way with wine (if you drink of course) and roses
uses your shampoo and conditioner sometimes because he just loves the way they smell and they remind him so much of u hehe
has your skincare routine memorized to when you’re too exhausted to do it he can do it for you <3
he’s overall just a soft and sweet lover, doing anything and everything he can for you because he knows you’re the one for him <33
taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags
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secondlina · 5 months
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I just wanna say that Crowmance on Crow Time got me through a really crappy event in the first half of 2023 THANK YOU FOR BEING SILLY AND WHIMSICAL!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!
THANK YOU FOR BEING SO KIND!!
This makes me so happy because I started drawing them to get through a really bad time too. During the pandemic I got really sick (I'm still dealing with it), and drawing my main series, Namesake, felt overwhelming. I was completely destroyed physically and mentally, and I felt at the bottom of a crater. It wasn't Namesake's fault, I just had no more energy in the tank left for anything complex, and that story is complex. Even my room was a mess.
In the past, I drew a lot of short romance comics and jokey-jokes for tumblr. I like drawing short things a lot. I'm a bit of a goofy dingus and it gives me an outlet for humor that my regular work doesn't really allow. In the past, I drew cute fairy tale shorts like Knot. I also drew some stuff for the Micro Comic Summer events Hiveworks organized.
So in 2021, I started drawing birds. Rude birds. I really love crows and owls and little tit birds. It started turning into something comforting. Like a good hearty soup. Then it kinda started to take form. Crowmance happened because I love, love, love shapeshifter characters in fiction. I NEEDED IT!
Now I just draw crows and Crowmance alongside my other projects. Because it's fun, and it's like putting on a comfortable hoodie on when you just want to doodle for kicks. They keep me warm. I think people respond to them so positively because they are this little spark of joy I made for myself when everything felt really bleak. The "Shiny and Warm" strip was about this feeling.
I hope they keep helping people, and bringing them joy. I'm doing this as a "joy" project - if it stops being fun, then I'll stop drawing them. As long as I'm having a good time, I'll keep it up. So far, so good!
If you like my weird magical romances though, definitely also read Namesake. It's got that good magical longing.
BONUS CROWMANCE DOODLE!!
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stone-stars · 4 months
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happy 6 years of naddpod everyone <3 (alt title: the dragon pussy podcast making me cry for 6 minutes straight)
Transcript:
Mee Maw: That's true, but… there's also somethin' else. Murph: And you see she pushes her cloak to the side, and you see she has black scabs-- Caldwell and Jake: Oh, no! No no no! Moonshine: Oh, Melora! Murph: --and deep crick rot all over her chest and neck.
Marabelle, weakly: Jolene? I-- I didn't realize I was gonna get to-- say I was sorry. Moonshine (pretending to be Jolene): Thank you, of-- of course you're forgiven! I love you so much! You're my big sister!
Melora: You're not cursed. You were born like this.
Hardwon: (desperately) Gemma? Gemma? Gemma wake up. Gemma baby. Hey. Murph: You see she's-- she's-- she's cold and dead. Hardwon: Fuck!
Balnor: I couldn't help them. I can barely swing a sword. Alanis: There's a war coming, and everyone needs to fight. Even old men who don't know how.
Beverly, crying: No, he's-- he's my light. He's my Pelor! He always was! I strayed!
Bev Sr: You tell her the truth, Bev. You tell your mom that I died in the Feywild. Beverly: (crying) You know I'm bad at lying. Bev Sr: It's not a lie, Bev.
Deadeye: Yeah, I know I'm down a hand. And an eye. And a life. But I got a soul, and a family. And I finally know which is worth more.
Deadeye: I hate to think about what woulda happened to me, but maybe more I hate to think about who I still would've been if I had never met you.
Rosa: JV, I can't-- I can't find my lantern. JV: Aw, well look at that? There's a lantern right here. Rosa: Are you sure that's mine? JV: Yeah. Yeah, I'll-- I-- I'm gonna go look for mine.
Hardwon: --interpretation. I-- I-- Moonshine: Hardwon, I really don't want you to want to die, because I want you to live so much and I don't want to be alone in that feeling.
Lydia: Elias, is that you? Hardwon: It's uh-- It's still little Elias. You saved the child, ma.
Lydia: I don't know what I've been these past few years, I don't know what I've been these past few decades. But I want you to know that when I was your mother that... you were wanted.
Murph: Somebody who felt they could never have a child… um, is holding their child. Moonshine: I-- I didn't want to need you, dad, but… now that you're here… it-- it's kinda nice.
Murph: Your father has given you... a strategy guide on how to beat him. Caldwell: I have to look away so that the tears don't ruin the pages.
Beverly: (tearful) I don't want to go. I don't want to go. But I have to. It's my duty. I have to do this. Moonshine: Okay, youngin, I want you to know. I will love you whatever you choose to do. But, here's my two cents: A child has a duty to his father, but a hero has a duty to the world. Now, I've got my opinion of which you are. But it's time for you to decide.
Bev Sr: Thanks, Bev. I always-- I knew I could make the deal, because I knew you'd stop me.
Moonshine: (tearful) I-- I've been wanting to tell you about this for so long, and I just didn't get a chance to. And I don't know if I will, so I just wanted to make sure I told you.
Moonshine, crying harder as she goes on: Paw Paw. You are… You are my best friend. And you are the best part of me. (sobs) And I am so grateful. For-- (sobs) the fact that so much of our lives have been braided together. But… where I'm going, next-- after we beat Thiala, which we will-- you can't come, mmkay? So I just need to make sure that you are taken care of, and I need to make sure that you take care of some people, okay?
Pendergreens: This time, you picked me up. And you were nice to me for no reason.
Pendergreens: If when you come back... if I'm different? Moonshine: Mhm? Pendergreens: Just, remember me as I am now. 'Cause I like who I am when I'm around you.
Death: I will take everything from you-- Hardwon: Quit pointing at people! Death: --until you come with me. Hardwon: Ok-- I'll go! I'll go. Beverly: Hardwon, no! Hardwon: Bring her back, and I'll come. Bring her back.
Lydia: All my life, people told me what I had to be. You don't have to be anything other than what you are.
Lydia: I think you should talk to your friends. Not because you owe them an explanation, but because you deserve to be heard.
Melora: Beverly. Beverly: Yes? Melora: I wish you could grow up in a normal world, but the Gods have not blessed you with a normal life. You are… afflicted with duty. Things thrust upon you far beyond your years.
Melora: The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor, what an injustice.
Moonshine: How long do Half-Elves live? Mee Maw: You talkin' bout Hardwon? Moonshine: I mean-- It's on my mind.
Moonshine: I guess, if I'm being honest, I don't know what it's gonna be like to know Bahumia without Hardwon Surefoot. (tearful) And there's a part of me that doesn't want to find out what that feels like.
Moonshine: There is something sour I probably need to swallow, though. It is-- There's people you meet that are once in a timeless body lifetime kinda people, right? Mee Maw: Oh, yeah. Moonshine: Okay. Mee Maw: And you keep 'em with ya. Moonshine: Okay.
Moonshine: (crying) It's okay, Balnor. Like all the most powerful things in this world, I knew I was only borrowing you.
Hardwon: Moonshine, when-- When I left Irondeep, I-- I didn't know where I fit in. And then I met you, and you didn't just let me in. You brought me in, and you thought I was good.
Balnor: I hope that you all get to leave this world with the same comfort that I had: knowing that it's in good hands. I love you. Murph: "Your knight, Balnor."
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piebingo · 2 months
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To me Wille’s character development this season is just such a good commentary on the environment he grew up in. On monarchies. How could he turn out any different than a mean, sad mess? When he’s never had a choice (he joins the choir because he likes Simon yeah, which is sweet, but also does he even like anything that he wasn’t told he should like)? When he doesn’t even know that he’s privileged (and on one side he’s got Simon telling him that everything is bad, on the other crowds of people telling him everything is good)? When the system is so oppressive that he’s alone at 16, with the responsibility and guilt of making his mom less sick or he’ll have to take her whole ass job. Of course Wille turned out bad. This is what we’ve been seeing for the whole series, that the oppressive systems like the monarchies are bad for everyone, either stuck in it or outside of it. It drives people to destroy everyone else for power (August). It drives people to cover whole ass crimes that their kids are victims of just to keep a fake reputation (the Queen). And now, it drives a grieving, lost and neglected kid to do the same thing to those he loves because that’s all he knows.
And there you’ve got Simon, who’s the first "thing" Wille has ever liked without being told to (he’s a person ofc but you know what I mean) and the first one that Wille probably knows, him always being in the same type of environment. And that doesn’t fit within the system. If he wants to keep Simon, as well as his own mental health and sanity, Wille needs to get out of the system. And I think this was exactly what s3 is trying to tell us. It’s a commentary on what being stuck in that system is. We see it with Felice too, she’s trying to get out of her own system and is making people mad by doing so. They’re all stuck in the system, and some people are happy to stay there (Frederika, Stella, Nils, Vincent…) and others have to fight to get out or they’ll lose themselves. This is exactly what’s happening to Wille, and now that the one thing he has, his relationship with Simon, is going to leave him… I think this will be the wake up call for Wille to realize that he can’t stay in this institution. He has to leave if he wants to be his own person.
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st4rgzer · 21 days
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now playing…SO LONG, LONDON (spencer reid)
summary: spencer realizes how much damage he had been causing you.
genre: angst with fluffy ending
cw!: idk relationship problems?😭 also use of y/n and y/l/n (your last name)
a/n: so since y’all wanted a happy ending version! here it is, it isn’t quite like the song but yeah, you guys get the point. masterlist
tension protruded eagerly from the silent room. it was dim, you had left some candles lit but that was it. your cheeks were wet and hot. but somehow you still felt an adamant numbing sensation of coldness. your weary bones hugged your knees, sniffles breaking through the silence.
“how long did you think i could’ve held on” you muttered through your broken voice.
“what?” he lifted his head from in between his legs where he had his hands pressed to the back of his neck.
“how long did you think i could’ve held on to you? were you just going to let me destroy myself, give everything i had just for you to crack a smile?” you spoke loudly now, sharp words that stung as spencer heard every one of them.
he didn’t respond. instead, he just listened. he knew the last thing you wanted from him right now was for him tp talk back, so he let you talk.
“fuck, even my friends said it was not right to be scared! not of you, but of how quickly your temperament can change from one moment to another. every breath that i take feels like im stealing it from you, like- like when i do finally get to do so, its short and doesn’t last long until i have to hold my breath again.”
“do you resent me, spencer? is that what this is? you left the BAU after you got back from prison, and i thought it was to settle down, make me your wife. but you never wanted this, did you?” spencers head perked up. his demeaner changed. he went from attentive and remorseful to stern.
“do not say that. “ he pointed a finger at you “y/n y/l/n don’t you, for a second, think i regret any minute i’ve ever spent with you, i regret a lot of things in my life but meeting you, loving you? i’ve never thought twice about that. you are my number one priority in this life, and im sorry i couldn’t give you everything you wanted, at least not right now. but i promise, i swear on my life, if that even means anything, that i’m going to get better. and i know actions speak more than words, but please, please hold on. i’m not going to insist you stay here with me, but just promise you’ll come back when you’re ready? i love you, y/n, and i hate myself for even thinking that i hurt you.” his tone was indulgent, pleading almost. he had stood up and waved his hands frantically as he punctuated each word, meaning every one. his frazzled hair and big brown eyes kept you at bay.
for a few minutes there was silence as you quietly digested his words.
“do you mean that?” you whispered, fragile, as you looked up at him.
he nodded his head, looking away and blinking a few times. trying to hold in the tears that painfully pricked his waterline.
you sighed, attempting to weigh the pro’s and con’s of the situation, but you loved him. a mental list of the good and the bad wasn’t going to decide the fate of your life. in every relationship there’s hell in heaven, eventually, happiness comes back. all you knew was that this man encapsulated your whole being with nothing more than love and affection, so you knew that this was nothing but a small dent in the glass case that encased the rose that was your love.
you opened your arms, he hesitantly got down to your level. you held him tightly, as if the weight of the wind was to carry him away at any moment. he buried his head in qthe crook of your neck, sniffling as he let out soft sobs, and whispers of apologies.
eventually, the tears ceased. and you both laid there, enveloped. consumed by each other, hands caught in spencers hair from raking through it, as sleep caught onto you. spencer kissed the bridge of your nose gently.
“i love you”
“i love you too”
a/n: guys idk how to feel about this one, this might have been my least favorite so far😭
taglist: @ilovesadiesink @sp3ncelle @lvtilzs @bunnylov-3-r @bellasprettywords
*comment to be added*
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navybrat817 · 1 year
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Sweet and Strong
Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader Summary: You stop by the parlor to drop off some treats. Word Count: Over 2.3k Warnings: Fluff, flir-ting, slight insecurity if you squint, slight feels (it's me), Tess is a real one, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?) Graphics talent and thanks: Banner - @sgt-seabass, Divider - @firefly-graphics, Bucky edit - Nix, Moodboard - yours truly A/N: More Hottie and Sugar from my Sin on Skin AU.❤️ Beta read by @whisperlullaby , so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You did your best not to let your mind wander during the work day, but Bucky hadn’t left your thoughts since he dropped you off at your place. A dopey smile formed on your face more times than you could count. The tattoo artist was your dream come true. Someone who looked like they could destroy everything in their path, but treated you with such care.
And he said yes to a date with you.
How does a man like him exist?
“Careful,” Tess said, nudging you to the side so she could take a cookie from the case. “Keep making that happy face and it’ll get stuck that way.”
“Is that a bad thing?” you smiled, making sure there were no customers looking as you typed a quick message to Bucky on your phone.
“Hope you have a good day, Hottie.”
After a moment, you cringed and put the device away. Though Bucky gave you his number after he dropped you off, you didn’t message him immediately. Waiting until today was better because enough time had passed, but was the text too casual? Not casual enough? Was it clingy to message him before you had your date?
Why am I overthinking this?
“If you’re smiling because of Bucky, it’s a very good thing. Especially after what he did to help you. I think he should get a permanent discount,” Tess said, making you raise an eyebrow when you didn’t detect a hint of sarcasm in her tone. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
“We talked about this,” you gently reminded her when she pouted, a look that told you she was still upset. “Please, stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
When Tess heard that Richard ambushed you after closing, she beat herself up for not being there. You assured her it wasn’t her fault that your ex showed up. She was thankful you were okay and that Bucky, and everyone else in the shop, stood up for you. She also added that if she saw Richard sniffing around the place that she’d kick him in the nuts.
Bucky assured you he wouldn’t come around and you believed him.
“I’m just sorry I didn’t see him get put in his place. Been a long time coming,” she said, a bit of mischief back in her eyes as she leaned against the counter to smile at you. “And I’m bummed I missed that kiss.”
“Why did I tell you about that?” you asked, your cheeks hot as you recalled the moment Bucky’s lip touched yours. If you closed your eyes, you could almost feel him kissing you again. The memory made your heart swell.
As if on cue, your phone went off.
“Day’s better now that I’ve heard from you, Sugar. Can’t wait for our date. Planned something special.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you reread the message and hugged the device to your chest. You weren't sure how many women Bucky dated or how many special dates he planned before you. The thought of it being a high number didn't make your stomach sink as you expected. What mattered was that the two of you were taking a chance on each other.
And even though you technically asked him out, he took the time to plan something for you. When was the last time a guy did anything remotely nice for you without expecting something in return? Why had you settled in the past for less than what you deserved?
“You told me because we’re best friends,” Tess answered with a smirk when you looked her way. “Is that him?”
“Yeah, it’s him,” you smiled, showing her the message. “I wonder what he has planned.”
“Whatever it is, you better give all the dirty details when he dicks you down. And not to be graphic, but I bet he eats pussy like-"
“Tess!" you groaned, praying the nearby customers weren’t listening. But, god, if you hadn’t thought about what he’d be like in bed. He’d be so good to you. “Let’s try and be professional.”
“Professional, my ass. I’m not the one flirting with the hunk or making eyes at him every time he steps into the shop,” she pointed out.
Fair.
“And, look, I’m not saying you have to get laid on the first date, but I am saying you have to let him in your pants at some point,” she said, laughing as you tossed a towel at her face.
You laughed, too, and wondered just how the night would go. If you put out on the first date, would he think you were easy? If you waited too long, would he move on? You were overthinking again, but you couldn't help it. You really liked him.
He likes me, too, so I must be doing something right.
“What do you get out of it if I let him in my pants?” you asked curiously.
Tess placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed. “I get to keep seeing you happy, which you have every right to be."
"Thanks," you smiled, a wave of fondness crashing over you. The two of you saw each other go through many ups and downs of life. She deserved the world and it meant a lot that she wanted that for you, too. "Is it too much if I run some treats over for him? Especially since I just texted him?"
Bringing a small selection of baked goods for Bucky and the guys would be a small way to thank them for defending you. Deep down, it was also an excuse to see him before your date. You hoped it wasn't too obvious.
"The guy has visited the shop for all of your shifts since he first came in. So, no, it isn't too much if you surprise him and send something his way. He might like it."
"I'll be quick," you promised, selecting some of the best treats from the case, including one with little hearts.
"Take your time. Jill and I can handle this," she smiled as if she sensed your giddiness. "Go treat your man."
"He isn't my man yet," you teased.
But I'm already his girl.
"Yeah, he is," Tess winked, giving you a gentle nudge. "Now go."
It didn't take you long to cross the street to the parlor and thankfully you didn't drop the box. You hoped you looked decent. Well, as much as you could during a work day. At least you had a cute apron on.
"Hi! Welcome to Sin on Skin!" Jake said as you walked through the door. "Sugar! It's you!"
You held back a laugh when his voice echoed. "Yeah, it's me," you smiled, holding up the box. "I wanted to drop these off Bucky and the rest of you, if that's okay?"
"You brought us food?!" he asked, leaning on his arms to look over the counter. "Hold on. Lemme grab him."
"You sure? If he's with a client…" you trailed off when Jake dashed away from the counter.
You took a moment to look around again, your gaze settling on an intricate flower tattoo. Seeing the place without the fear of your ex following you made it even brighter than before. Like your shop, it was expressive and inviting. Bucky likely put as much love into it as you did with yours.
"That was my first piece."
You tore your gaze away from the wall to find Bucky beside you, a dopey smile back on your face. There was only a small amount of space between you and your heart raced as you looked him over, the large man clad in his usual tight shirt and jeans. He had his hair pulled back and you resisted the urge to tuck a few strands back that came loose.
He would manage to look sexy as hell with latex gloves on.
"It's beautiful," you said honestly.
"Thanks. She's a good friend and still a client of mine. So is her husband," he smiled gently. "I'm glad you stopped by."
"Me, too," you smiled back, holding up the box in your hands. "I just wanted to say thanks again to you and the guys for sticking up for me. It isn't much, but I hope you all enjoy them."
"Oh." A slight frown formed on his face when you handed him the treats. "You know you don't have to give us these, right? We didn't do it expecting you to give us anything in return and I'm sure as hell not going to let anyone speak to you the way that prick did."
You furrowed your brows a bit, even as you nearly swooned at his protectiveness. Had you upset him? "I know I don't have to," you said, clearing your throat. Why did the thought of them defending you just for being good guys make you emotional? "I just wanted to do something nice for you."
Was this a bad idea?
You let out a breath when he smiled again. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel obligated," he said, touching your arm. Even with the glove, the touch sent heat between your thighs. "It's a very sweet gesture, Sugar. Thank you."
"You're welcome," you said, satisfied that he wasn't unhappy with the small gift. "And I'll admit. I also stopped by because I wanted to see you before our date," you added.
"You did?" he smirked, bringing warmth to your cheeks as you nodded. "While we're admitting things to each other, I've been watching the door and hoping you'd stop in. I even dreamt about you when I took a nap."
"No, you didn't," you giggled, a sense of power and elatedness filling you that his pull to you was that strong.
"I swear. I don't think Steve will let me live that down" he chuckled. You wondered what exactly he dreamt about. Was it passionate? Intense? "Can't get you outta my mind. And, frankly, I don't want to."
Oh.
You didn't think he could make your heart beat any faster, but he continued to surprise you. There was no shame or timidness in his tone or his stare. It was steadfast and true, like he wasn't afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve with you. If he could be vulnerable and open with you this way, you could do the same in return.
Go big or go home, right?
"I can't stop thinking about you either," you told him, proud that your voice didn't waver.
"You can't?" he whispered and you suddenly didn't like the box between your bodies. It made him feel too far away.
"No, I can't," you whispered back, gazing into his blue eyes. "I waited to text you because I didn't want it to be too soon. And even though I don't know where you're taking me on our date, I already have the perfect sundress laid out and ready to go."
"You can text me as much as you want. I don't care what time of day," he assured you before his eyes lit up mischievously, like he knew something you didn't. "And a sundress is fucking perfect, but no asking for hints about our date"
"Not even a little one? Please?" you asked, giving him what you hoped was a cute pout. You didn't actually want him to tell you because you wanted him to surprise you, but you hoped you looked enticing.
Bucky slowly licked his lips and shook his head. If he was trying to look hot, he more than succeeded. If he wasn't, did he have any idea what that teasing motion of his tongue did to you? "I'm tempted to tell you and I'm very tempted to kiss you right now, but no. No hints. I need to stay strong."
I'm very tempted to kiss you, too.
"Fine, Hottie. I'll be good," you teased, pouting again. "For now."
Bucky moved the box beside him so he could step closer, his eyes darker than before. "You wanna be good for me?"
Yes, sir.
"Yes," you answered, leaving out the "sir" that echoed in your mind and shivering as he continued to stare. Before you could say anything more, you noticed that the shop had gone quiet. You leaned over to look past Bucky and giggled when you saw the crew staring, taking you out of the moment. Steve and Hal both had knowing smirks on their faces, but no way could they have heard your conversation. "Hope you enjoy the treats!"
"Oh, we will," Hal winked. "What about you, Bucky? You gonna enjoy your treat?"
"Get back to work!" Bucky called back before he smiled disappointedly. "Speaking of, I should, too. I think my client gave me enough of a break."
"Yeah, I need to get back," you said. You didn't want to leave Tess and Jill hanging. "I hope you have a good rest of the day."
"You, too," he said as you went to the door. "Be good for me until I see you again."
Fuck.
"Only if you're good for me," you smiled over your shoulder, catching his surprised smirk before the door shut.
You took a breath, allowing the breeze to cool you off. Maybe a cold shower would do a better job. You smiled as your phone went off, expecting a teasing text from Tess. It caught you off guard when "Mom" popped up.
Well, that can't be good if she's texting me. God, did she somehow hear about Richard? The last thing I need is a lecture.
Instead of opening the message, you tucked your phone away. You needed to get back to work and you had a date to look forward to. You wouldn't allow your mom to sour your mood because Tess was right.
You had the right to be happy.
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No ruining this upcoming date, mom! Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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