#did i do this write?

[zacs-of-rwby]

Luxury We Can't Afford

Oscar Pine & Ozpin

My personal take on potential dialogue for the new RWBY Vol. 9 animatic

---

Oscar ignored the headache pounding behind his eyes.  It hadn’t let up since he started skimming through the most recent volume open before him, each word sending a thump of pressure through his head.

He felt the protest coming, but still he fought it.

Oscar, Oz’s voice echoed through their shared headspace.  You need to rest.

Oscar gritted his teeth.  “I’ll rest when I’m done.”

I’m worried about you, son.  You haven’t taken a break all day.

“I don’t need a break, I just need you to be quiet so I can focus.”

Even though Oz didn’t speak for a moment, Oscar could feel him contemplating.  Forming an idea Oscar probably wasn't going to like. Then let me take over for you, he finally said. You won’t get much done if you pass out.

“I said I’m fine.”

His body tensed at the thought.  Letting Oz take over wasn’t an option, because when he did-

I’m scared of the merge, too, Oscar.  I’m fighting as hard as I can.  But how quickly do you think the merge will happen if you don’t have the energy to fight it with me?

Oscar paused, his eyes shifted to the right.  If Oz were standing next to him, he would have given him a side eye.

“You had to put it that way, didn’t you?”

Would you have listened to me if I said it any other way?

Oscar laughed through his nose.  “Probably not.”

Like-minded souls, Oz teased.

Oscar closed his eyes.  “Fine.  I’ll take a short break.  Just enough to get my energy back,” he shut the book in front of him.  “Then I’m coming right back.”

Oz’s agreement was silent, but Oscar could feel it.

They both knew that a “short break” was all they could allow, anyway.

Time wasn’t something they could afford to waste.

#rwby #rwby vol 9 #oscar pine #ozpin #ozcarnations #fan fic #rwby fan fic #ficlet #did i do this write?

[did-i-do-this-write]

the soul of wit: a series of brief poems

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #poetry #original poetry #spilled ink #the soul of wit #did i do this write?

[ozpins-halfway-house]

Ozpin's Case Files

Staff Meeting

Attendance: Ezra Ozpin (Executive Director), Qrow Branwen (Volunteer)

Date: July 22, 2013

Purpose: Staff discussed a plan to make some changes to the living arrangement.

The more Oz thought about it, the more it made sense.

He sat across from his partner, his head resting in his hand as his mind started to drift.  The murmurs and chatter of the diner carried on around him as he watched Qrow carefully scan the menu.

Last night’s discussion hadn’t gone exactly as planned.  Oz’s worst fear was that Qrow would get so upset he would decide to retreat to his private den.  That was when Oz knew he really fucked up.  Everytime Qrow left in a huff, Oz worried that he would get that 2am phone call all over again.  He would never have to worry about that if only-

“What are you thinking about, over there?” Qrow teased.

“What?  Oh, nothing, I was just… imagining something.”

“What kind of something?”  Qrow leaned in and whispered, “Something we shouldn’t bring up in public I hope.”

Oz smiled and shook his head, “Sorry to disappoint, love, but it was a little more serious than that.”  Oz wrapped his hands around his mug and sighed, “I was more or less trying to imagine what it would be like… if you moved in with us… permanently…”

“Were you now?” Qrow leaned back in his seat, arms crossed.  His tone was more amused than angry.  “And this wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the fact that I just so happen to know someone who needs a place, would it?”

“W-well, it certainly gave me something to think about.  After all, I know I’m the only reason you still have the apartment in the first place.”

“Okay, sure.  So what made you change your mind?”

Oz straightened his spine and sighed.  “I changed my mind because I realized I was being a coward.”

The smug look on Qrow’s face melted.

Oz continued, “I’ve only ever reached this huge milestone with one other person.  And we both know how that turned out.”

Qrow flashed a sympathetic smile.

“I was selfish and refused to accept the inevitable.”

“The- I’m sorry- the inevitable?” Qrow coughed.  “Wait, you- do you mean that?”

Oz nodded, clear and confident, “I do now, yes.  It is the next logical step, isn’t it?”

“I guess, but- What about all the shit you said before?  About how you were worried about the kids and having enough space and privacy and whatever.”

“Well, I still think those problems are real and ‘inevitable’ as well.  But we can solve them when they arise.  We always have.”  Oz glanced over his mug as he took a sip of hot cocoa.

Qrow’s eyes fixed on the ground, like he was in shock.  For once, Oz couldn’t read his reaction.  Was this shock positive or negative?  Was he going to reject the offer because of their current circumstances?  Oz wouldn’t blame him.  Give Oz a taste of his own medicine, all those times he turned down Qrow’s idea to do this exact same thing.  He’d deserve it.

But now more than ever, Oz was sure.  He was safe and comfortable when he woke up next to Qrow.  He was able to relax when Qrow quietly kept him company while he worked.  He was grateful whenever Qrow would spend time with the kids.  Now more than ever, Oz was sure that he always wanted Qrow by his side.

“Can I ask you something?” Qrow’s voice was weak and shaky.  “Would this offer to move in remain if I told you I would give up the apartment?  Let the lease expire, leave it for someone else.  This little plan to help my sister falls apart.  Would you change your mind?”

“Absolutely not,” Oz said immediately.  “This is not a bargaining chip, Qrow.  This is me trying to do something I should have done a long time ago.  The rest is just semantics.”

Qrow nodded slowly, as if the answer only gave him more to think about.

“So is that what you’d want to do, then?” Oz wondered.  “Surrender the apartment and move into the house?”

“No,” Qrow laughed without humor, “I think that would make me a bigger asshole than Rae.”

“Does that mean you’re going to help her…?”

“Against my better judgment, yeah.”

“And… What made you change your mind?”

“I’m not even sure,” Qrow sighed.  “Guess I just had a lot to think about after last night…”Oz took Qrow’s hand in both of his and squeezed tight.  “I’m so proud of you, love.  Whatever you need, I’m here.”

“I know, Oz.”  Qrow smiled.  “I know.”

#rwby #alternate universe #cloqwork #ozqrow #ozpin #qrow branwen #oz's case files #oz's halfway house au #did i do this write? #staff meeting

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[idiotsonlyevent]

i wonder where the idea of chilchuck being a deadbeat came from when theres like. no textual evidence for it ?

he knows what all of them are up to; he still writes to flertom and she sent him his neckwarmer, so that to me implies that they at least have a somewhat positive relationship?

its more ambiguous with meijack and puckpatti, but since meijack is also a picklock, i wouldn't be surprised if he taught her himself, considering how trades are often passed down through families, and because he talks about sending people to her if he dies.

also the way he talks about puckpatti is very like... it's obvious he wants her to take things more seriously, but he's accepting, and his tone here reads more fond to me than anything else.

like, he keeps his daughters' old toys under his desk? that doesn't scream 'deadbeat' at all, it screams 'empty nester' who doesn't know how to reach out or is scared to do so

EDIT: i know a lot of the 'deadbeat dad' stuff is jokes, but some people are Not joking and genuinely think chilchuck is a bad dad. this post is not saying that you cant joke about it; it is just outlining what canon shows regarding his (clearly positive) relationship with his kids.

#i love making fun of him but he is like. Very Explicitly Not a Deadbeat Dad lol #WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN #CHILCHUCK I AHTE EYOUUUUUIUUU #WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME.... #EDIT: 'i thought the deadbeat dad stuff was a joke do ppl actually think that?' YES thats why i made this post 😭😭 bc ive seen ppl genuinely #say that hes a bad dad/husband! #L.txt #dungeon meshi #chilposting #long post #chilchuck #chilchuck tims

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[soranker]

my girlfriend

#trigun #trigun maximum #nicholas d wolfwood #i saw a tweet the other day that was like. do u ever like a character SO MUCH that u feel shy/embarrassed even drawing them #AND I WAS LIKE .... YYEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #yall dont even kno how hard i cringe at myself whenever i post abt this guy.. but i power thru OTL #these r a few weeks old btw ive been busy so i havent gotten to draw him in like a month and it feels so JHDSGF&UY EIY$NU&RHGFJDG!@JFHBD #save me. save me nicholas d wolfwood #why did i write all of this DO U SEE WHAT I MEANN my head is in my hands rn

[mercury-and-scry]

I'm just Gale

where I see love she sees a snail

#my art #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #to be clear I did not write those lyrics his voice actor got cameoed to do them I think

[zacs-of-rwby]

Home is Where Your Light Shines Brightest

Chapter 8: Reality Check

Story Summary: Ozpin works tirelessly in his pursuit: to make Beacon of Hope a safe place for kids to grow up. With a bigger location and more kids to take care of, Ozpin starts to feel the weight of responsibility crushing him, and he plans to carry the whole thing himself.

For Qrow, volunteering for Beacon of Hope had only one purpose: to get Summer off his back for a little while. When he meets the polite, friendly, and handsome man in charge, he wonders if he could actually get something out of this whole ordeal after all.

With Qrow’s support, maybe Oz will be able to reach his goal of turning this house into a home.

Story Categories: Mental Health, Recovery, Slice of Life, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Found Family, LGBTQ+ Themes, Alternate Universe, Ozpin’s Halfway House AU, please check Ao3 tags for potentially triggering topics

Chapter Summary: Whitley is trying to adjust to his new home. It’s a strange feeling, but he thinks he’s gonna like it at Beacon.

Chapter Categories: Mental health, emotional hurt/comfort, angst

Warnings: Dissociative episode, addressing trauma

Author’s Note: Whitley gets his own mini arc this chapter :) also a lil cameo from Ironwood and a bit of character development. Fun for everyone in this chapter haha.

#rwby #fan fic #rwby fan fic #ozpin #whitley schnee #weiss schnee #oscar pine #glynda goodwitch #james ironwood #pyrrha nikos #jaune arc #beacon of hope #home is where your light shines brightest #oz's halfway house au #did i do this write?

[did-i-do-this-write]

Sometimes I write things because this is exactly how life is, and I love it.

It becomes a tribute.

Sometimes I write things because this is exactly how life is, and I hate it.

It becomes a protest.

Sometimes I write things because this could never happen, but it would be fucking cool if it did.

It becomes a wish fulfilled.

So. Why do you write?

#writing #writeblr #writing inspiration #writing motivation #writing encouragement #writing insight #did i do this write? #zac speaks

[mumblesplash]

in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem

#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake #if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation #my art #god at this point i really do need a writing tag don’t i #<- will continue not addressing this #secret life #goodtimeswithscar #grian #secret life spoilers #sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again #if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well you’re more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything #i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow #right now i am just. very tired #but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter #i literally made this on accident against my will #i was trying to DRAW

[mrghostrat]

dust and light

i swear to somebody, the actual good omens parallels were a complete accident when i wrote this scene in BNF, where crowley is a writer in the agnes nutter fandom and aziraphale is his big bang partner. i've been on fire ever since i realised.

"The way you talked about the lighting in that last scene was just so striking— I really want to capture it somehow; find a way to paint the different layers of sunbeams and dust motes, just as you’ve written them.” Aziraphale’s grin caught himself quite off guard. “What are you planning?” Crowley shifted with an exaggerated, bashful shrug, but his grin remained steady on his face. “Not sure, just some kind of metaphor about the light and the warmth, probably. Maybe note some stark differences between the bookshop and a dusty room with no light, or a bright place with no dust. Each feeling equally inadequate compared to the shop, and that being… Er, I dunno, a reflection of their lives without one another in it, or something.”

#jesus christ how did this happen #i'm unokay #they're burrowed so deep in my head it's not even intentional anymore #good omens #gomens #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #bnf au #i mean this art has literally nothign to do with bnf au but #rat draws #rat writes #ineffable husbands

[wrongspacetime]

The Fall of the House of Usher 1.08 | The Raven (2023)

#the fall of the house of usher #tfothou spoilers #mike flanagan #carla gugino #kyliegh curran #tfothou #lenore usher #verna #tfothouedit #dailynetflix #dailyflicks #thehauntingsource #mygifs #i was doing fine (ish) #not as much ugly crying as the other flanagan shows #but then this scene wrecked me #the fact that death was so kind to make sure lenore knew she made a difference ughhhhh idk it did something to me #the hand at the end.... the way you can feel it costed death to take lenore - BRILLIANT WRITING #also the layers of carla's acting!!! give her all the awards i'm so serious

[egophiliac]

another one that I'm not super happy with, but continuing to mess with it isn't going to help! so here he is! 🦇 there was a lot I was trying to get across in this one, so uhhhhh hopefully it reads.

we're almost out of unique magics now...just Ace (and maybe Grim?) left!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #unique magic posters #drawing lilia slightly more on-model than i usually do feels so wrong #i just want to draw the tallest spikes #lilia: (writing down his height) 5'6“...5'2” in a hat #(actually i'm pretty sure he would just write 'fun-size' but i digress) #anyway lilia. hey lilia. your magic is not cradle-specific so WHY is it called that #did it come in like 'so in like 500-ish years we're going to have a significant moment with a cradle. just trust me bro.' #'in the meantime enjoy having the weirdest magic name ever' #probably came in useful for raising kids though #don't put that in your mouth don't you know where it's BEEN #because i do #(long stare off into middle distance) i know where it's been

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed. #everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this? #why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred' #if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all. #a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that? #you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'