#don't get me wrong it's still so sad and it's a tragic ending but
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constantly in tears over how jon is so dead set on replacing jonah in the panopticon at the end of tma but then martin shows up and his mind is changed so quickly and easily. like this man had agonized over this decision and ruminated in his guilt and he had made his peace with going behind everyone's back and basically sacrificing himself to save all the other worlds but then martin's there, and he finds out that he's in danger of being burned alive, and that if he goes down, martin goes with him, and he is so quick to choose the only other way out. the one he had been vehemently denying this whole time. he was totally dedicated to the fate he had chosen but the moment martin might get hurt he lets it go. he does the last thing he wants to do because even that isn't as bad of a fate to him as martin dying. crying now and forever and always over them
#jon has so much love for martin it just makes me so. HHHHH#don't get me wrong it's still so sad and it's a tragic ending but#Them#jonmartin#jmart#jon sims#jarchivist#martin blackwood#tma#the magnus archives#magnuspod#magpod#mag 200#tma s5
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You know what I wish we'd seen?
More positive actively involved magic users.
Like, we know the Druids support Emrys, though they seem more like a pacifist, non-combatant party (aside from some outliers like Kara, Mordred, Alvarr), and other magic users/beings like Anhora, Grettir, Mab, they all seem to be neutral. They acknowledge Emrys as a superior power, but they don't seem to actively participate for better or worse. And all other sorcerers are usually antagonistic. But why can't we have the other side? I'm sure there has to be some who decide to take Merlin's side. Maybe they don't entirely trust Arthur, maybe they aren't too certain of a Pendragon, but dude, it's fucking Emrys. If Emrys is supporting him, there's gotta be something to him, right?
Let Merlin have people helping him, other sorcerers who slip him spells that are too powerful for them, maybe he can do something with it, passing him information about plots they've heard through the sorcerers' grapevine, even helping him thwart some of the ambushes and traps. Maybe they aren't brave enough to live in Camelot 24/7 like Merlin, but they take turns bringing him messages and supplies, and to get their "marching orders," such as they are.
Also, imagine the look on Arthur's face when he finds out he has a magic Praetorian Guard that answers to his manservant.
yeah see, that's one of the big issues that's always bothered me. like we (the audience) are told that magic is not evil but rather is something as integral as nature. but more often than not, a lot of the antagonist we meet are magic users and most of the time they are power hungry people. i mean, i totally understand the sorcerers who seek out revenge for Uther and by proxy Camelot, but we only either get these types of sorcerers or the sorcerers whom the show portrays as only evil.
it is, frankly, impossible for the magic community to be full of only evil and vengeful sorcerers. there's got to be more diversity than that, bbc 🙄 you're telling me that there are no somewhat powerful magic users living in Albion helping others anyway they can and don't seek to help aid Merlin in anyway. and i mean aid him since s1. by s5 it looked like he was actually getting some help, but they were still sorcerers who fell a little bit in the gray area or just never interacted with anyone other than Merlin.
maybe have Lancelot befriend another sorcerer while he was away from Camelot and sort of sneak him in to help save the kingdom from Morgana and Morgause in s3. maybe Elyan, who had left Camelot pre-s1, have some magic friends that we meet in s4.
tbh, my big issue is that with how much the show tells us, the audience, that magic does have positive impacts and isn't evil, none of the characters besides Gaius, Merlin, and Lancelot actually know that (as far as i'm aware). literally any time Arthur considers that maybe magic isn't what his father claimed it to be, he ends up going back to those prejudices and ideas Uther propagated because "magic killed my father," "magic killed my mother" (still super salty), "magic corrupted morgana," "magic wants me dead." when in reality, that's far from the truth, and Merlin then has to continue to hide a part of himself from people he cares for and loves dearly because all they've ever known and seen is "evil magic people."
just....bbc, explain to me how Arthur was supposed to bring the so-called "Golden Age" to Albion where there's peace between magic users and non-magic users alike if he, himself, believed magic was inherently evil???? how is Arthur the Once and Future King if he never repealed the ban on magic or began working with sorcerers? and i'm saying this as someone who loves the character, but why did we, the audience, not get a chance to really see Arthur break away from his father's prejudices on magic until the series finale?
it just bugs me. there are so many moments where it looks like maybe Merlin has an ally that's pro-magic and pro-unity and wants to help fulfill the prophecy, but then they either become one-time side characters or fucking die. never seen or heard from again. maybe i just want a character or two to stick and maybe give Merlin the support group he needs?
por favor, bbc
#don't get me wrong i love the show but the fact that we barely get morally good sorcerers upsets me#idk seemed like an oversight#yeah i could maybe go on and talk about gilli and how he could have been a great character later down the line to be an ally for Merlin#i could go on about freya and how maybe we could have gotten more lady of the lake stuff or mentions of her (maybe by lancelot since he has#a connection to the the lady of the lake already in the legends. like his last name is literal Du Lac: of the lake. like hello????)#i could point out a lot#but i am prob not the first to do so#i understand that at the end of the day the show ends in tragedy; arthur dies in cammlan. merlin loses his best friend. gwen loses her love#camelot loses their king. and other very sad tragic stuff in s5 finale#but i think we could have still gotten the tragedy of the series finale with the inclusion of more positive sorcerers in the show#maybe that's wishful thinking but idk#we could have it be mid-s4 to s5 that arthur does begin the process of repeal decades of anti-magic laws but there's a lot of pushback#and/or bureaucratic political nonsense they have to do to finalize everything but it happens!#sigh#anyway#bbc merlin#long post#idk if this counts as#merlin meta#but just in case#asks#more of a merlin rant(?)#lol but yeah
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aftermath.
A/N: nobody asked for this, but all I've seen is Will smut (which I totally love, don't get me wrong) but I need some vulnerable Will
Pairing: Will Miller x f!reader
Warnings: grief, mourning, sad!will, mentions of death, mentions of Will's military past and Tom's funeral
One of the things you've always admired about Will is his strength. He was always the one to put on a brave face and push on. The captain in him had the duty of moving forward and completing whatever mission was at hand, whether it was getting his team to the landing zone or grocery shopping day at home.
It was that very same strength he possessed that got him through the darkest times in his life.
Losing his war veteran grandfather, losing his comrades in combat or to the haunting PTSD that they tried to chase away with substance abuse.
Before you came into his life, before he realized that he was lost in the same fog of that purgatory of PTSD, shutting his emotions out is the only thing he knew. After all that time, he came to believe it was easier than having to deal with them.
It just wasn't a priority; a moment of tears he refused to share with anyone anywhere other than sat naked and alone on the shower floor.
Tom wasn't the first friend he'd lost, but it doesn't mean it made losing him any easier.
It was easy for him to plaster a smile and bury his grief deep down until he felt it was time to unbury it and mourn.
Getting to that point of self-awareness was a victory in itself.
It took so much patience and love and pain, not only on his behalf but yours as well, to help him to understand what he was really struggling with.
He hadn't realized it had gotten so uncontrollable until the incident at Publix - the grand revelation of the weapon he could be, once shred of his humanity, provided the cathartic acceptance of the fact that he needed help.
Upon federal investigation, the story they told was that Tom had been shot and killed in a tragic mugging incident on their consultation trip. Just a boys' night out gone bad.
It wasn't too hard to believe, given they were 5 foreigners in a country that wasn't theirs. The heat from the Feds didn't last long. Thanks to Santiago's few but faithful contacts, that investment was quickly brought to an end.
It's barely 6 a.m. and you're stood in the kitchen making coffee, still processing how this all happened.
Your black dress is simple but elegant and modest against your body. Despite the itchy fabric, you can feel the early morning chill soaking through.
The dripping of the coffee maker lures you into a whirlwind of thoughts. You watch the droplets of dew form on the kitchen window against the cloudy sky which threatens to rain.
You start to second guess the toast when it pops up in the toaster. You're not the slightest bit hungry and you're positive Will won't be either, but you have to try.
He hasn't eaten right in the past couple days. You didn't say anything, but you've noticed the few bites he'd given his food and the way he'd pick at it.
He should've been ready and downstairs by now, so you decide to go up and check on him.
Moving forward is hard for most people, but for Will, it's what keep the pain at bay. The problem is when he stops.
Like a tornado, he's left with the screaming silence and the damage it left in it's wake.
Now that he's home, the mission of bringing Tom home is complete, the hard truth that his friend and mentor is gone has begun to sink in.
You gently knock on the door as you reach your shared bedroom.
"Honey, do you want any help?"
"I'm good, sweetheart. I'll be right out."
You can hear him sniffle despite his attempt to sound as normal as possible. Unconvinced, you turn the knob and open the door.
He's sat on the edge of the bed wearing a simple black suit as he looks back over his shoulder at you with a Marine coin in hand, a gift from Tom when Will confessed about his therapy sessions.
You aren't too surprised to see he changed out of the formal military blue suit he had out on earlier.
The ribbons, the medals, the badges... He couldn't put them on without feeling the crushing and staining weight of guilt.
"Lat minute outfit change?"
The corner of your lips curl in an attempt to smile, hoping to cheer him up with a bit of tease.
"I was gonna wear my dress blues, but..." he trails off for a moment to swallow hard. "Just didn't feel right."
Without a word, you quietly walk over and sit beside him. You're not sure what he needs right now, but you don't want him to feel alone.
"Black is more flattering if you ask me," you speak up.
His beard twitches as he attempts to smile. He knows you just want to help him feel better. Yet all he can do is stare down at the gold coin.
"Five times... Five times. Five close calls. And he survived them all. He didn't deserve to go out like that. He just wanted to help his family."
You fight back tears as you listen to him with an arm wrapped his back as you press your cheek to his shoulder.
"I told Santi to get him in. I said I'd go if Tom was in. Tom didn't even want to go in the first place. He didn't-"
There's a crack in his voice which he catches it in his throat to compose himself. He sniffles letting a tear cascade down his cheek only to wipe it away quickly, hoping you hadn't seen it.
"This isn't on you, Will."
He nods although you both know deep inside that he won't stop blaming himself.
"When you told me you were a marine, I knew the risks that came with that, Will. Every knock on the door had my heart racing. But I decided to stay with you because I love you. There wasn't a person on earth or a God in the sky that was gonna tell me otherwise. I knew the risks and I took 'em anyways because not having you would've hurt more... I don't understand how fate works other than we all end up the same. What I do know is that all we can do is love our close ones and cherish the good memories you have of them."
With a tearful and silent nod, he lowers his head and rests it against your chest. His arms lock around your waist as he surrenders to the tears in your embrace.
The tears quietly trickle down your cheeks as you listen to him finally breaking down.
With your lips pressed against his golden hair, you hold him in your arms and stroke the hair on the back of his neck to soothe him for as long as he needs.
All you can do is hold him through it and he couldn't be more thankful to have you in such a vulnerable moment after having faced them on his own for so many years.
Just the feeling of not being alone was overwhelming enough, but to have you holding him and reminding him of the things that are easy to ignore in grief give him hope.
Although he feels he's coming apart, he knows that he'll have the strength he's always had.
It's different now. It's not the strength to bury and forget; it's the strength to heal.
With a sigh of relief after a long, vulnerable moment, he pulls away from you and nods, mentally assuring himself that he's alright.
Upon arriving at the church, you're greeted by Molly so you offer your deepest condolences due to the circumstances. Just as Will, you find that the guys have all opted to wear normal black suits instead of the formal military uniform and you wonder if it's for the same reason.
"Sorry for that," he sniffles wiping his eyes as he tries to regain his composure, swallowing hard with guilt. "We should get going... I don't wanna be late."
You remind him that there is no need to apologize and that he can take the time to splash some water on his face to help him recollect before leaving.
Frankie doesn't say a word other than to Molly and the girls, apologizing for their loss. Throughout the priest's religious ceremony of easing words, Benny's apathetic eyes are glued to Tom's casket set in front of the church between his military portrait and a beautiful arrangement of white flowers. During Will's heartfelt eulogy, Santiago keeps his head lowered as the guilt consumes him.
The grift and sadness during the wake only follow and weigh heavier during the long walk to the gravesite, lingering among the guests of the funeral like a dark cloud. It's only reflected in depths by the light rain pitter-pattering all around.
The military traditions at the funeral leave a bitter tinge of irony in the boys as they watch Tom's casket lowering into the ground.
Tess's happy big doey eyes are now swollen and red as she cries under her mother's arm, hugging the folded flag as if it were her dad, while Molly holds her other and youngest daughter under the other arm.
Looking over at Will, you see that he's trying his hardest to keep his strong facade as well as the boys.
You slide your hand into his and whisper to remind him he's not alone and doesn't have to feel alone.
With a gentle squeeze to your hand, he nods.
"You with me?"
"I'm with you."
You and Will - as well as the guys and Tom's family - are the last to leave, reminding Molly that you're more than willing to help with anything.
Will, however, lingers a moment to speak to her private and tells her about the fund. You can tell from her reaction, she's genuinely surprised and thankful, relieved to know that she'll be able to pay for the funeral.
Having called your boss the previous day to let them know you wouldn't be going to work due to the funeral, you take the rest of the day off to recover from the overwhelming day after the funeral.
The drive home is quiet save for the rain against the car and the windshield, echoing into the vehicle which you insisted on driving to give Will some mental ease. He didn't put up a fight. He was quite relieved you'd offered.
In spite of being eager to understand how he's doing, you refuse to burden him with constant questions and decide to respect his mourning process. So, you keep a hand on his thigh to remind you're in this together.
He doesn't mind it at all. In fact, he is grateful for your respect and your thoughtfulness. His hand rests over yours and doesn't leave until you have to pull your hand back to turn the steering wheel, but it finds it's way back onto his leg, warm fully welcomed by his engulfing hand.
As you're undressing in your room, Will's hand catches yours while you're unzipping your dress.
"Thanks... I don't know about you, but I'd say this weather is perfect cuddling weather," you share letting the dress hang loosely off your shoulders.
Will smiles shyly as if you'd read his mind and locks his arms around your waist.
"I couldn't agree more."
#william miller#will miller#william ironhead miller#will ironhead miller#will miller x reader#will miller x you#will miller x y!n#will ironhead miller headcanon#will ironhead miller x reader#william ironhead miller fanfiction#triple frontier fanfiction#triple frontier imagines#charlie hunnam
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WARM CONVERSATION (suna x reader)
cw: breakup heavy, light mentions of reader going through it, angst to fluff i promise!!!! best friend osamu <3 kinda long im sorry, titled from sad beautiful tragic by taylor swift because what else would it be
You should've known he’d come over. Should've expected it the moment you sent the text turning down his offer disguised as a reminder.
A sick part of you almost wants to laugh as you reread the texts on the phone in hand.
From: Osamu
ur coming with me to atsumu’s stupid thing tonight, right?
To: Osamu
absolutely not
Not even twenty minutes later (which is impressive, considering Osamu lives at least thirty away from your apartment), an abrasive knock is on your door and you don't even need to check the peephole to see who waits on the other side.
The moment you open the door with unimpressed eyes, Osamu is opening his mouth to complain.
“You're shitting me, right?”
His tone walks the line of being in denial and being pissed, like he can’t quite be angry yet because he’s not sure if you’re joking with him or not. He does a quick once-over of your appearance—with pajamas you've been wearing for three days straight, dirty and unbrushed hair, and a more than half-eaten bag of chips in hand, you choose to shrug.
“Can’t say I am,” you deadpan before turning your back to him, letting him huff his way into your apartment with urgency.
“No,” he shakes his head to himself, laughing in disbelief, “no, you’re coming with me.”
Closing your eyes in frustration, your head falls back into a childish groan.
“Osamu, I really don't want to.”
“It’ll be good for you,” he's quick to try again. His eager words immediately have you scowling, but he can't tell if the waver in your voice is one on the verge of laughter or tears.
“And how will celebrating your brother being awarded ‘The Sexiest Man in Japan’ be good for me?”
“Eurgh, not that,” he’s quick to clarify through an over exaggerated gag before reiterating, “just getting out there. Everyone’s missed ya.”
Your glare softens in the slightest at his sweet confession. He uses your hesitation from the sentimental moment to snatch the bag of chips from your grasp and raise his eyebrows in amusement. Instantly, your intimidating glare returns and you’re throwing your hands out at your sides in frustration.
You whine obnoxiously, rubbing at your eyes with your fingertips before recollecting your stubborn self.
“I'm no fun to be around right now,” you decide to remind him, crossing your arms in defense and letting him sit on your persistent words.
Now, it’s Osamu’s gaze that softens at your harsh self-judgment.
“Yer the only one who thinks that,” he tries to match your sarcasm, but you’re sure to note the gentle tone weaving through his breath.
Tired of the game of cat and mouse, you fold. Plopping yourself on the couch, Osamu cautiously sits next to you, where your head is in your hands and your nose is pinched in thought.
“He’s back,” your voice is soft, barely above a whisper as your eyes meet the floor, “and he’s gonna be there.”
Osamu merely nods, as if he’s been expecting this point to be made.
“I know,” he agrees, before thinking out loud, “it’ll be the first time you’ve seen him since—” his voice loses its confident edge as his sentence trails off.
With a humorless laugh, you bitterly finish for him, “Since we broke up?”
“Since you forced him to break up with you,” Osamu corrects through a smug grin, “but yeah.”
And your eyes roll because he’s not technically wrong, there's just more to it—so you decide on biting your tongue and letting him have that one.
When silence takes over, you assume that's the end of the conversation. Perhaps that was naive of you to think, as when you turn your head you’re still met with Osamu’s expectant gaze awaiting your response.
“I don’t know, Osamu,” you give up into a sigh.
Getting excited at your slipping determination, he sits further up on the couch.
“I’ll be right there the whole time. I'll drive, we can leave whenever ya want, and if anyone says anything stupid, I’ll defend yer honor, per usual.”
Your silence speaks louder than your resistance, and Osamu can practically taste the victory on his tongue as he watches you loomingly mull it over.
“You owe me a bottle of wine,” you declare as your head falls back into your hands.
Osamu silently lunges his fist in the air at his success.
“Damn right I do,” he proudly agrees before tossing you the snack still held in his left hand, “I’ll even throw in a bag of chips, too.”
…
Walking up to the door of Atsumu’s (disgustingly large) penthouse, the sickening memory of the last time you saw Suna intrudes your mind on repeat.
You knew he’d be traveling. After officially signing with EJP Raijin, you had thought you braced yourself for this. The early training hours, the late night flights, the stealing time together just for it to be ripped away at any moment. You swallowed that pill and digested it fully.
And then he told you about America. About the year-long tournament and exclusive training program he’d been recruited into. You vividly remember him eagerly bragging about how not even Atsumu got invited. He was thrilled, and you were too, for him.
But then came the unease, the insecurity that would eat away at your brain every night like a parasite. You couldn’t rest, couldn't live with yourself knowing that there could be more out there for him. You refused to hold him back from fully experiencing whatever this opportunity could bring him. You wanted him happy, whether that was with you or not.
Needless to say, the breakup came as a surprise to him. Two weeks before he left, just when he had everything he’d ever dreamed of, the thing he needed the most decided to slip from his grasp.
“You're being stupid,” he threw out in a panic. “You don’t get to just decide that for me when it affects both of us.”
“I already made up my mind,” you'd croaked out through teary eyes and a constricting throat.
You remember Suna looking at you like he didn't even know you, like he didn't recognize the person standing in front of him. The person who held his heart in their hands, the person he has a ring hidden in his closet shelf for. Unrecognizable.
Your shaking hands held out in front of you like a plea, you continued to use them to sever your red string of fate from him.
“You don't know what's out there for you. You could love it there, you could meet someone better than—”
“Why would you say that?” he winced at your words. He felt like he was going crazy, like this wasn't really happening. Not to him, not with you. “I don't want anyone who’s not you, I don't even want to think about that, I—”
“Rintaro,” your hand on his salty cheek was the last time he’d feel your touch. He didn't knows that at the moment, refused to believe it, but it was. He knows that now.
“I won't be able to live with myself if I don't do this,” your voice is barely audible behind your sobs. “I’d never forgive myself if I knew you had anything to regret.”
Regret.
He places his hand on top of where yours rests on his cheek.
“I don’t want to do this,” he urgently begged, “I love you.”
You smiled and it broke whatever was left of his heart.
“And I love you,” you ached. “So go to America, and don't think about me. And if there’s a world where you come back here a year from now and somehow still feel the same, then maybe things could be different. But we won't know that unless you go.”
Two weeks later, Suna was on a plane to the states—and when he went to call you before he boarded, he was immediately sent to voicemail.
It’s been a year since it happened, but it feels like days when Atsumu opens his french wooden door with a brash welcome.
The party in itself is fine, probably fun for the average guest invited. Atsumu thought it would be funny to throw himself a congratulatory party for being voted Japan’s Sexiest Man, though with the alcohol coursing through his veins and the hype from his past and current teammates, you’re willing to bet he fully believes it.
The night passes like nails on a chalkboard, agonizingly slow and leaving you hyperaware of your actions. Conversation is easy enough. Everyone is kind and Osamu holds true to his promise of hanging by your side for the most part. You catch Suna’s gaze a handful of times, never holding it long enough to address it, nor feeling drunk enough to do something about it. You hate how foreign it feels.
…
The balcony is a refreshing kind of cold on your clammy skin. The jacket you hold tightly against your torso is more so for protection than it is for warmth.
You’d excused yourself from a small conversation with Iwaizumi and Osamu to escape onto a balcony of (one of) Atsumu’s guest rooms. Just for a moment—a moment to breathe, to stop thinking foolish thoughts, to bury yourself in the drink in your hand.
The sound of the sliding door interrupts your sulking and your heart drops like glass on concrete.
“Osamu said I might find you here,” the voice wavers, and you sigh in relief to hear that it’s Aran.
“Fucking Osamu,” you curse behind a sip of your drink. “Remind me to kill him later.”
Aran laughs earnestly at your clear stress, “M’not that bad, am I?”
“No,” you're quick to correct, “no, I didn't mean it like that.”
Aran’s always been a good friend, to both you and Suna. From your high school days to the entire year you were barely seen in the public eye, he’s always been genuine and attentive. The conversation is natural, a nice distraction from the consistent thumping in both your head and heart.
You congratulate him on his most recent win. He asks about your work. You tell him about a recent promotion and he manages to successfully tell you about his time in America without directly tying it back to Suna. You appreciate his earnest effort.
That is, until he clears his throat into the crisp air.
“He hasn't been with anyone since you,” Aran suddenly breathes.
You don’t say anything, but he sees how your brow furrows at the sudden declaration.
“He didn't see anyone while he was away, in America,” he clarifies.
He watches your body stiffen at the realization of what he’s talking about. Drink in hand, your arms cross defensively across your chest. You’d attempt to play the pathetic action off as the cold weather if you cared.
Your tone is a bit harsher than you’d like it to be when you respond. “It wouldn't have mattered if he did, we weren’t together.”
Aren’t, you mentally correct yourself. We aren't together. It shouldn't matter, no matter the capacity. But with the way Aran’s watching you crumble like a leaf in the wind, both of you know that it does. It matters.
“I mean—he tried, a few times,” he adds on, “but he couldn't go through with it.”
Your heart sinks at the mere thought of Suna trying to get back out there, and you hate that you still feel this way because that was the whole point. The reason for the way everything went down the way it did is because you wanted Suna to explore all of his options before choosing you. So why does the mere insinuation of him doing the exact thing you told him to do make bile rise in your chest?
You sniffle, hoping Aran dismisses it on the chilly breeze as you practically whimper, “Why are you telling me this?”
Aran smiles, but it doesn't meet his eyes. It drips of a melancholy coldness. “Because I think you deserve to know that even when he could’ve, he still didn't do anything.”
His words grip you like a tight hug, almost constraining as they apply pressure to all the spots you'd numbed months ago. And he must feel it, too, because he decides that he’s said enough.
With a gentle hand placed on your shoulder, he makes his way back inside, but not before prefacing you with a foreboding, “I don't know if he’ll try and talk to you tonight, but if he does, just—think about hearing him out, alright?”
You swallow before nodding, “Sure, I’ll think about it.”
And once again, you're alone with your thoughts—but they're different this time. Less cruel and guilt-ridden, but more so clear and airy.
You hear the door sliding open once more behind you, and your naivety assumes it’s Aran returning with another final word of wisdom. You’re turning around without a second thought.
“Aran, I told you I’d–”
Any blood not tainted by alcohol leaves your face as Rintaro now stands before you, taller than you remember, though you know it’s not even possible. His eyes still look right through your facade, his adam’s apple still prominent as he clears his throat awkwardly.
“Hi,” he bites first.
Your response is immediate, but far weaker, “Hi.”
He joins you where you lean on the railing, practically shoulder to shoulder as the two of you stare at the dimming streetlights, sipping on drinks that suddenly don’t feel strong enough.
“Congrats,” eventually falls from your lips, “on everything. You deserve it all.”
“Thanks,” he returns, though you know it’s only to segue into what slips from his lips next. “You look great,” he lamely chokes out.
Your response is immediate and cold, “You don't have to.”
“Don’t have to what?” Suna chokes out after a second of confusion.
“Lie,” you breathe, eyes still focused on the street below. “I’ve looked like shit for the past year, I’m well aware.”
Within the entire mourning period of the breakup, you’ve barely taken care of yourself. You look unhealthy—sunken cheeks and dark circles and skin and bones and sadness. But Suna doesn't see it that way.
Sure, you look different, but you always look different. You're always growing and changing one way or another. And while he might wish you looked like you got more sleep, that's for selfish reasons, not superficial ones. Your eyes still hold the same shape they did when he left you, your hands still smaller and cold. Your lips still the same mold against his, he hopes.
“I always think you look beautiful,” he disagrees with a mere shrug, “you still look like you.”
You swallow back a whimper at his honest words, before clearing your throat and biting the bullet.
“Why’re you out here, Suna?”
The last name stings, but he chooses to ignore it for now. There are bigger issues at hand.
He states the obvious, “It’s been a year. M’back from America.”
He watches you nod in agreement, “Yeah, I can see that.”
“Do you remember what you said?”
Your throat closes at his words.
“Rintaro—”
“I went,” his voice raises in desperation to get his point across, “and I had all the freedom in the world. Could’ve done whatever the fuck I wanted to. And I did, or I tried to, but I wouldn’t because it wasn’t with you.”
“I know,” your pitch matches his, “that was the point. I wasn’t going to let you do something if you couldn’t do it properly.”
He shakes his head at your stupid reasoning, the same stupid reasoning that ruined everything in the first place. You were so sure that there was more out there for him, that he’d be swept off his feet by some American woman and forget you entirely. And because of his own fear, he was forced to go along with it and prove you wrong. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Well guess what?” he takes a sip of his bottle before swallowing harshly, “I did it, and it sucked, and now I'm back and nothing’s changed on my end.”
He takes a step closer to you, shaky hand raising in slow motion so you see it coming, so you have a chance to flinch or dodge or run, and you don’t. You let him rest it on your cheek, just like you did that night, and you let him tilt your jaw up to look at him properly for the first time in a year.
“Now I know what it’s like to be with you and to be without you, and I still just fucking want you.”
You take a moment to admire him, just as beautiful as the day you’d left him. He’s porcelain and tangible and here for the first time in a—
“And it’s been a year,” he reminds you through a sad smile, “like you said.”
You let out a wet giggle through your shaky core, “It’s been eleven months.”
Rintaro groans as if he’s been punched in the gut, and the feeling of your laughter erupting even louder shoots what he assumes must feel like drugs straight to his heart. Ever so gently, he swipes a stray tear from your lash line.
“Don't make me wait another month,” he begs, “please.”
Rintaro thanks whatever deity might've listened to his endless prayers these past eleven months, because for the first time ever, you listen to him. Obey him without complaint as you let him press his lips to yours, and he’s overwhelmed with warmth at the realization that they do still mold against his all the same.
“I love you,” he breathes in between breaks from your lips, “never stopped loving you.”
“I know,” you match his hunger, “I love you.”
Between overdue kisses and eager gazes to ensure that you are, indeed, real, Suna lets go of all of his regrets.
“M’never letting that happen again,” he shakes his head at his own stupidity, “never letting you go again.”
“Okay,” you mindlessly nod into his hands.
“Never letting you make a stupid decision like that for the both of us.”
“Sorry—”
“Never letting you look at me like that from across the room just to look away. I mean, what the fuck was that—”
You shove him out of embarrassment and oh, it feels like love. “Okay, I get it,” you whine.
And when the night passes in eventual hours that feel like mere seconds, ending up with you in Suna’s lap and everything under the moon being discussed, he’s brought back to reality as you begin to rise from his hold.
Rintaro instantly ushers you back on top of him, “Hey, hey, where d’you think you’re going?”
You comply with his gesture, but not without rolling your eyes. “Shouldn't we go back inside? They're gonna wonder where we are.”
“Let ‘em,” his head is buried into your neck, a feathery kiss placed as he tightens his hold on you. “I just got you back, lemme hold onto you for a little longer.”
…
+ bonus scene!
Between tipsy laughter and friendly competition, the party going on inside should be busy with a handful of different things. But the leading contender of entertainment for the group of friends seems to be partaking on the balcony.
Too lost in one another, you’re grateful you don't see the tufts of red hair peeking out behind the curtain, hoping to catch a glimpse of the long-awaited reunion taking place.
“It's working, I think it’s working!” Hinata beams, bouncing from window to window trying to get the best view.
“She’s on his lap,” Kita, who traveled a decent way to see this (oh, and for Atsumu, too), notes. “Do you think they’ve kissed yet?”
Speaking of the devil, Atsumu pushes his old captain aside as he drunkenly whines, “Aw, we missed it?”
The crowd of overgrown men bursts into childish chatter.
“Don't be a fuckin’ creep.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, you idiot.”
“They’ve had to have kissed by now, we just weren’t paying attention.”
“Yep, they're kissing!” Bokuto excitedly confirms, watching the two of you outside like a rom-com displayed on the silver screen.
Osamu’s attention is finally sparked at this confirmation.
“Oh thank god,” he impatiently shoves through the crowd to confirm the sight with his own eyes, and when he deems it to be true, he exhales a long overdue breath of relief. ‘‘That was the worst year of my life.”
Aran tilts his head in confusion, “I thought it was only eleven months—”
“Eleven months too long.”
#suna x reader#suna x you#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintaro x you#suna angst#suna fluff#suna fic#suna rintaro fic#suna rintaro fluff#suna rintaro angst#suna haikyuu#suna rintaro haikyuu
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Real talk
Im sooooo tired of Vox always being portrayed as the victim and Alastor the only one 100% responsible for their friendship falling apart
Did we all suddenly forgot that Vox is a terrible person too? He brainwashes his audience, he supports Val, he is willing to offer his lowest employees for Val to kill, he's also prob abusive to his employees as well, he stalks pretty much everyone, he has like 5 cameras inside Angel's dressing room, also it's like implied he's jealous of Angel because he gets Val's attention, him being jealous of Angel for being a victim of abuse is pretty messed up if you ask me. Oh he also told Sir Pentious to fucking kill himself and he also gets hard of seeing people in pain and get hurt! (Sure it was Alastor but still messed up)
" he looks so sad at the end of stayed gone when Alastor threatens him I feel so bad for him:(("
Really ? Well maybe if he had just kept his little hate boner for Al to himself instead of feeling to need to start publicly slandering him it wouldn't had happened. Just saying. Also I don't see how people feel bad for him. If anything he looks so extremely pathetic it's laughable I want to kick him
Okay this is kinda out of the point I want to make it's just many people who make him the victim seem to forget he's a terrible person so I just wanted to friendly remind everyone that he's as awful as Al ^^
Anyway
I think, we should acknowledge, that it's a complicated, and probably tragic, situation. What if, maybe, they're both as equal at fault for shit going down hills for their friendship. Vox because he doesn't respect others wishes and cannot take no for an answer, he prob tried forcing Al to move on with recent technology, which Al hates. ((His request to Al to join the Vees also prob meant catching up with the nowdays stuff and new technology, like the rest of them)) and Al because he was prob unnecessary cruel and brutal with his rejection.
I don't think Al was just using Vox like I've seen many people say. He allowed Vox to take a picture of them together. For Al to do that I think it confirms their friendship was genuine. "Ah but it's Alastor so that means it was fake cuz he's an evil manipulative bastard who only cares for him-" You're wrong, but also right lol. He's an evil manipulative bastard, but , he's also capable of genuine friendships with others (( did y'all forget Rosie lol? )). What I think happened is that, time passed , things changed. Vox became obsessed with new technology and tried to force Al to follow in, Al didn't like that, but instead of communicating with eachother and solving their problems by talking it out and respect eachother's wishes, they had an unnecessary argument and fight. They're both to blame for this, they're no victims in the situation and it's okay you can still sympathise with eithers side
Also people who make Al the villain for like not returning Vox's confession and feelings in most One sided Radiostatic videos/fics I've seen-- yikes.. I really hate that I have to literally say to PLEASE don't villiantise the aroace character for being aroace and rejecting confessions. It's extremely ace/arophonic (and yes I get to have a say to this, I'm a replused aroace videos/fics like this genuinely make me feel negative emotions) even if he was extremely cruel with his rejection -- villiantise the fact that he's an asshole- not his rejection.
yes I agree!! this is essentially a consolidation of points I've made before ksdlfglg
like yes, alastor's an absolute shithead but I think there are some people who forget that vox is also... not a good person. I don't think there's anything wrong with there being sympathetic aspects to vox but I feel like there's such a huge amount of fanwork where he's the only one portrayed sympathetically without showing his own bad points in their relationship, and I absolutely hate it when alastor is fully blamed for how vox is now and vox is seen as
yeah
vox got pissy at a rejection, that's not being able to take no for an answer, that's incel behaviour LMAO
feel like there's something to be said about people feeling the need to sympathise with the one with unrequited feelings compared to the one who has to deal with someone expecting romance from them when they don't feel the same. does it have to do with society's expectations about romance that unrequited feelings are more sympathisable?
but yeah I am glad that at least the "complicated" part of the description of their relationship implies to me it won't be as simple as "vox was the poor victim and alastor was just using him", I think it is much more interesting if there's no clear victim and both were at fault in a way
#ask#osrs.txt#I'm gonna avoid heavy tagging because I don't wanna attract discourse#onewaybroadcast#okay to rb if you want though
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How I learned to stop being angry and love the Death Scene (for now)
This may be a controversial take, but I've come to the conclusion that Izzy's death scene maybe wasn't badly written after all.
There is one big aspect of this scene that I really love: it was 100% in character for Izzy AND Ed (and everyone else too) at that point in their story.
BUT it only works if we are not expected to believe that 1. this was in any way a happy ending for any of them and 2. that this arc is finished.
If Izzy stays dead permanently, his death and the way it happened, what was said and notably what wasn't, was tragic for everyone involved - especially Ed - and we should feel bad about it. This isn't an uplifting scene of closure for either Izzy or Ed, and it is totally understandable that most Izzy fans were crushed by it (and Ed fans, even those who don't like Izzy, should be too!).
If there is no possibility that anyone, in any way, can talk to Izzy ever again and (in Ed's case) clean up the mess between them - then this is not a comedy any more. It's a tragedy. And it should be treated as such by the show and the creators (and this might be where disappointment lies waiting).
The death scene by itself though was fitting, if we look at where Ed and Izzy are on their character arcs at the end of S2. It played out exactly as I'd have expected.
Izzy - All about Eddie
The main problem I (and many others) had with Izzy's death scene is that it is all about Ed.
Izzy is apologizing for everything that happened, including Ed cutting his fuckin' leg off. He is reassuring Ed that he wants to go, it's ok, no need to be sad. He encourages Ed to be soft, emotional, himself. He tells him that his biggest fear, being unloveable to anyone except Izzy, isn't real - he has a family now.
And, now that I've had time to think about it, I realized: YES this is exactly what Izzy would do.
All of S2 was about Izzy breaking the chain, but until the end it was still all about Ed for him (because it's not as easy as cutting off a rotten leg, unfortunately). Izzy would make his last moments about Ed, trying to do as much good as possible in the short time he had left. Or, trying to undo as much of what he thought he'd done wrong.
And I really don't want to take away from Izzy's accomplishments and character growth in S2. He'd come so far already! After years and years of singleminded devotion and love he'd finally realized that their form of entanglement was destructive.
Izzy broke up with Ed in Ep2 - and it almost killed him both of them. He started to look for meaning outside of his relationship with Ed, rediscovering aspects of himself that had long been buried and forgotten. He began, tentatively, to form bonds to members of the crew and put himself out there, away from Ed's side, away from being Ed's voice and Ed's hands, ruled by Ed's emotions.
But there wasn't enough time: still, everything he did was, in one way or another, at least partly about Ed.
Whittling - a Blackbeard metaphor
Training Stede - "What did he say about me specifically"
La vie en rose - a love song about "the one" and promises for life
Hiya boys - oh my god he's trying so hard here but this is killing him, isn't it
Bonding with Stede at Jackie's - "He's a complicated man"
The Ricky monologue - so much passion behind every word, not getting what you want, letting go of ego for something larger - the whole speech was (at least partly) about Ed
(I believe the first Ricky monologue about belonging is more about Ed than the crew and I know this is not a popular take. Still, for me it makes sense because this is how Izzy felt for decades. I don't think he has shaken that mindset yet - give up your ego, your own dreams and personality for something larger - Ed&Izzy or Blackbeard. When he says "he crew" it feels like a bit of an afterthought - there is a pause.)
So, at the end of S2, Izzy is not over Ed at all - he's deeply hurt, feels incredibly guilty (unreasonably so!) and is repressing a lot of what happened.
He's still so entangled with Ed - if this is his last chance to make things right, he will.
And as much as I would have loved seeing Izzy dying surrounded by his loving family, he wasn't there yet. Not as long as Ed was around. And I think the crew understood. They understood Izzy more then he understood himself at one point ("You're in a toxic relationship with Blackbeard"). They understood what he was going through, and they gave him space to say goodbye to the man he had loved for his whole life.
Izzy died how he lived - all wrapped up in Eddie. And at this point in his life, I wouldn't have expected anything else.
Ed - All about us, you and Me
I love the symbolism of these 2 frames - while Izzy's bloody hand is entangled in Ed's hair until death (and beyond), Ed's bloody hand is putting a distance between Izzy and everyone else but himself.
I wonder how Ed would have taken it if it had been the other way round - if Izzy had found himself a Stede at the start of S1.
I think not well is an understatement.
Even though Ed seems constantly annoyed by Izzy in S1 (and violently destructive towards him in S2), at no point did I get the impression that he actually wanted Izzy to leave, for Izzy to love him less intently or be less devoted.
But, it wasn't very much about Izzy as a person, or Izzy's happiness, or their shared happiness anymore. I think Ed saw himself and Izzy as "together forever, us two against the world", but without putting any work in or pausing to think how Izzy was actually feeling (and I am 100% sure that Ed knew how much Izzy loved him and how little love he got in return).
But being with Izzy was Ed's whole life, they were two halves of the same whole, and Ed even kinda expected Izzy to stay around after he fell in love with Stede ("We could have worked this out!") and didn't really think about how this never, ever could have worked out for the kind of relationship they were having (this is how Steddyhands... was so compelling actually).
So is it any wonder that, in Izzy's last moments on earth, Ed wants to have him all to himself? He sends Stede away. He signals the crew to stay (waaayy) back. He cradles Izzy in his arms, his back to the crew and everyone else who loved him.
And although, at the start, he tries to get a word in (to apologize back, to tell him he's forgiven) - Izzy dies without hearing anything that wasn't directly related to Ed and Ed's feelings.
Ed never tells him he loves him. He doesn't tell him how much Izzy will be missed for himself and not for what he could do for Ed. How important he was to Ed all those years.
The only thing Izzy gets from Ed before he dies is "You can't go. You can't leave me. Please! You're my only family."
What will happen to Ed? You can't do this to Ed! Ed has noone else! And as sad as this is, it is in character for him at this point in his life.
Ed is fundamentally a very self-centered (and self-hating) person, and his journey towards change had just begun with his death and rebirth. And just like Izzy, he would have needed much more time to grow (although Izzy'd gotten much, much further than Ed).
At Calypso's birthday, I think for the first time in forever, Ed saw Izzy as his own person, someone who he could actually love apart from this Ed-Izzy union they had going for so long. But only a few days (I guess?) later, Izzy dies.
So, at the end of S2, Ed still sees Izzy as "his" to a degree, sees him as one half of "us". He almost expects Izzy's last words to be about him (or them) and doesn't yet see Izzy as his own person, with his own feelings and ties to other people who might have wanted to say goodbye as well.
For Ed, Izzy died how he lived - wrapped up in Ed and Ed keeping everyone else away. Talking about himself only in relation to Ed. Izzy as a part of Ed that's vital and needed - but not itself in need of words of solace or other people's love (or any love, period).
Conclusion
At this point in Ed's and Izzy's life, the death scene and how it was written/acted is perfect, in my opinion. But for the characters, it's incredibly tragic.
Izzy never got what he wanted most - Ed's love. He died believing almost his whole life was a mistake, keeping Ed from his true self for far too long and destroying him in the process. In the end, the crew who had unconditionally loved and accepted him, stood at a distance, and the man he still loved over anyone and anything else never told Izzy what he meant to him - and now he never will.
Ed was absolved of his guilt and maybe, in the moment, he even believed it. But of course everything that happened in S2, and everything before that, wasn't (only) Izzy's fault and in the future, Ed has to deal with that. Only now there is no Izzy here to work it through with, and to make amends, no one who was there for it all and who knows parts of Ed best. When Ed finally realizes what Izzy meant to him, it will be too late.
So, if we get a S3 and nothing is ever made of all of this, if Izzy is really dead and the Ed/Izzy dynamic is done and dealt with, then it was bad writing (and I am so afraid that will actually happen).
But as it stands, I'm beginning to love the scene for what it is: a tragic, consistent ending for two characters that I love deeply.
But please don't tell me this was a kind ending.
#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd meta#izzy hands#edward teach#this got longer than expected#but it's a more positive take#I guess I want to make sense of it all - even Ep8#and I want to love this show again!!#rewatching S1 right now and wow - I'm not ready to give this up yet
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How do you think Alec would have handled getting the Valkyrie treatment? Being made into a puppet in the same way that he did to other people, his sacrificial suicide being subverted by another cape who uses people as tools but in a much more complete and permanent sense, coming back wrong and having his cape identity irrevocably a part of his body and self, and no longer being able to take off the mask, is this anything?
see i've rotated this extensively in my mind before because i think coming up with how a cape's design would turn out if they got glastig uained is a really fun exercise (do that shit to lisa for some Fun eyeball body horror!!) but i'm struggling to come up with what would happen to alec :( the most obvious answer is the crown becoming like. Attached. to his head. but id ont know if that's too far out there. there's also the concept of having his face frozen in a permanent smirking expression but i feel like that would go Too tragically counter to the point of a 'surprise hes back again' au wherein he would be expected to. yknow. realize and experience some of his feelings again at some point. so yeah i'd need someone else to help me figure that one out.
anyway the actual experience of being glastig uained. if i recall correctly in ward brian says it was basically just like waking up feeling like everything from before he died was just a few days ago not Years ago so i don't think alec would care that much that someone was using his ghost or whatever for shit while he was dead, relative 2 all the other problems in his life. wouldnt even notice with the type of shit hes got going on. the big reason why this au doesn't really work is that it's just Wildly Unproductively Depressing. it seems like ciara only starts bringing random people back by the time aisha is like. what. 20?
it works Fine and Actually Thematically Interesting Well that brian is like oh FUCK youve GROWN UP when he gets back because it's relevant 2 their sibling dynamics. but it does. it does not work if alec gets back and aisha is like 20. it's just depressing. from alec's PoV it would be "congrats you've been brought back into a world where your best and only friend is too old and character-developmented for you to actually have a close connection with even though for you it feels like she was still your age only a few days ago and also your fucking shit ass siblings are here too and btw the world ended so all of the nice luxuries you were enjoying previously are not options anymore. go feed the earth gimel sheep boy." and from aisha's perspective her best friend would be back but in a monkeys paw way where he did not get to grow up with her and he's still little and sad and fucked up and more like one of his siblings that she's caring for/trying to help vs the equal best friendship she Wants but Can't Have because he is Fifteen. so now everything sucks and is sad for everyone involved. :(.
i would say "on the 'up'side this is a hot new contender for scenarios wherein lisa could feasibly decide alec is her new sopping wet fixer-upper" but she already has an even more absurd and unstable option (that one cop) so as usual alec remains background. btw he would be offended on taylors behalf that lisa had replaced taylor with victoria (who he does not like because shes annoying) and entirely oblivious that taylor had ever thought or said anything about him being sucks and utterly lacking in interiority. AUs that have potential to be funny wrt alec's interactions with the other undersiders but are wildly fucking depressing when you get to his interactions with aisha.
if we fudge a bit and say ciara brings him back like riiight after gold morning aisha would only be a bit over a year older than him so that's more doable in terms of character development and eventual reconnection but it'd still be a mess. i'm not articulating my explanation of how aisha's character development works rn and i don't feel like saying something wrong so i'll just leave it here but trust me it'd still be a mess. maybe an interesting one but a mess
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this has probably been asked here before but how likely do you think it is that the author actually truly intended for Griffith and guts relationship to be romantic? How likely do you think it is we’ll get a blatant confirmation (eg a confession of love beyond being friends or even a tragic kiss) and if it does happen do you think it’s likely we’ll get an explicit confirmation on both of their ends so we know the feeling is reciprocated (because I know guts feelings can be underestimated sometimes compared to griffiths). Likelihood as a percentage or on a scale from one to ten lol. I think it’s already pretty obvious enough for me to be satisfied whatever happens but it would be nice if there was an undeniable proof of mutual romantic love. because I think no matter what happens if it’s anything less than spelling it out word for word people would still make attempts to deny their feelings which is kind of sad to me. But I could be wrong of course and romance wasn’t intended by the author. Either way I want them to reveal their feelings for each other whether platonic or romantic.
I'm cynical, so I feel like the odds of something textually romantic happening are like, 2/10 at best. Might've gone up to 3/10 if Miura was stlil alive since it's getting more and more common to confirm gay subtext and that might've influenced him, but since it's being written now by someone determined to adhere to the plans Miura told him, whatever happens is frozen in amber circa Miura and Mori's last conversation, with no room to evolve.
That's all pretty much a moot point anyway because again, I think the odds were always gonna be pretty miniscule anyway.
That said, I think the odds that Miura intended the gay subtext are like 9.5/10 lol. I think the romantic undertones are almost certainly deliberate.
I guess I just don't think it necessarily follows that the point of the subtext was ever to eventually become text. I think it was probably there for a lot of potential other reasons: to add a sense of depth and complexity to their relationship; to add more chemistry; potentially to appeal to women; to suggest that their relationship had the potential for romance that will never be realized therefore making their relationship even more all-encompassing and adding to the tragedy; serving the theme of childhood trauma fucking up your relationships; etc.
Of course I'd be overjoyed if it was acknowledged eventually, and I think the story would ultimately be better for it, like I'm not gonna say it's ~deeper~ if it stays subtext lol. But I think that considering the main target audience for Berserk is horny straight dudes, and while it's getting more common it's still very rare to have textual gay romances between two leads, and almost unheard of in legacy media properties, I just don't think the odds are in griffguts' favour.
Oh, though I do want to add that I'd say the odds of getting an acknowledgement of intense feelings between them post-eclipse is very high. I don't think it'd likely be a romantic confession, but yeah I think it seems very likely that Griffith and Guts are going to acknowledge the intense emotional hold they still have over each other. And if that happens I'll be happy even if it's not textually romantic. I'm sure it'll at least be homoerotic enough for me lol.
Thanks for the ask!
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You guys remember IT 2019? I just finished watching an alternative ending or directors cut idk, BUT LET ME TELL YOU 💀
First, english is my second language...
So, everything is exactly the same until the last like 30min? They're fighting Pennydumb, and you remember the scene where Richie is caught by the deadlights and Eddie spears Penny and saves Rich but he has to kiss him to wake him up like Ben with Bev in the first movie? Well, in this version Eddie spears Penny and falls with Richie but instead of kissing him he just shakes him a little? And Richie wakes up 😂 but then out of nowhere Pennydumb SKEWERS EDDIE WITH ONE OF THE ARACHNID/CRAB CLAWS RIGHT THROUGH THE CHEST??? Me and Bev literally screamed at the same time. So Eddie is bleeding all over Richie, blood comes out of his mouth as he says his name... and Richie is literally like 🧍🏻♂️ and then Pennydumb lifts Eddie with the claw and I'm watching in 4KHD how Eddie flies tf out while everyone is screaming his name. I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT KIDDING. At this point I'm laughing and crying at the same time, cause like, wtf is happening?? So the Losers run to wherever Eddie was thrown and THIS MF IS SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE? Then, like in the original ending Eddie tells the Losers how to kill Pennydumb, but is like super depressing, Eddie is coughing blood, so all but Richie and obviously Eds go bully the alien spider. Eddie is dying, and he says "Richie, I gotta to tell you something" and I'm thinking, alright, a little bit too angsty but ok. BUT THEN, HE DOESN'T CONFESS? HE LOOKS RICHIE IN THE EYES AND SAYS "💫I fucked your mother💫" AGAIN, I'M NOT KIDDING. And so Richie is like "heh 🙂🥲" Eventually Richie leaves so they can finish IT, lmao. They kill Pennydumb the same, they say "clown" a bunch and he perish. Then they go back to Eds who is obviously fucking dead at this point, and I'm still laughing a little cause I know that now is when Maturin appears and the Losers ask her to bring back Stan and now Eddie too i guess... WELL In this version Maturin doesn't exist apparently???????? So Eddie dies and Richie is crying over his dead body anD THEN BILL AND BEVERLY TELL HIM THAT THEY HAVE TO GO AND LEAVE HIS BODY DOWN THERE???? AND I'M 😶 SPEECHLESS.
They drag Richie out of Neibolt 😶 he's is screaming and crying and I'm screaming and crying with him. They get out and the house collapses. And the whole scene is fucking tragic, like, I'm sobbing, Richie is still screaming Eddie's name, Mike and Ben are holding him back and Bill and Bev are literally like 👀 Suddenly they're on the quarry, same scene minus Eddie and Stan. BUT IT'S SO SOMBER. They jump and they're washing themselves in silence, and Richie is CLEANING EDDIE'S BLOOD OUT OF HIS GLASSES. And Eddie is not there to be yapping about infections so Ben is like "Eddie would hate this" and they start talking about what Eddie would say if he was there, and I'm thinking 'why tf would you kill him but not write a better scene?' but I'm promptly shut up cause Richie starts crying again and everyone goes hug him, and now I'm really sobbing. But then, then they do something I can only describe as the worst possible thing you can do in front of your mourning gay friend. Richie loses his glasses like in the original but Stan is not there to give them back so the rest of the Losers start looking, and then, and I swear to god I'm not lying, Ben and Bev find the glasses but instead of giving them back they start kissing eachother. RICHIE IS BLIND AND CRYING WHILE THESE TWO KISS UNDERWATER. And I'm like NOw?????? Don't get me wrong, I love the kiss in the original, but this version is so sad and that kiss feels so out of place. After that, there's the scene in the street with them as kids, Richie and Eddie bickering and all that, and I'm ready to go wash my face BUT they added an extra scene. So in this scene Mike calls Bill whose already out of Derry, and Bill asks why they're not forgetting this time, and Mike says "Maybe cause IT is dead... or maybe because we have more we want to remember than we want to forget". AND I'M LIKE WDM?? ALL OF THIS IS FUCKING TRAUMATIC. And then Mike asks Bill if he got the letter, and apparently Stan left a fucking suicide note 💀 and it's SO FUCKING SAD YOU GUYS. They show adult Stan writing the note but you can hear young Stan reading it, and they show the Losers as adults after Derry 2.0, and everyone is happy except Richie?? Like, Bev and Ben are on a fucking boat with a dog but Richie is on the bridge going over the R+E carving while crying. And it ends with Mike smiling driving out of Derry. Is literally the worst ending ever. Like, I don't hate it just because is so depressing is kinda funny, also you guys know It 2019 is goofy af. Anyways, if anyone else saw this please message me so we can make a support group or something idk.
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Hi dad. I got an angsty one for ya.
How would the slashers (anyone you wanna write for, as many or few as you want) react to a reader who they've kinda fallen for and acts comfortable around them, but is really just putting up an act to stay alive? maybe the reader could fall for them, but they're scared out of their mind and Stockholm syndrome isn't happening. 😈😈😈
Trigger of love
Headcanons
☆STARRING☆
☆Brahms Heelshire☆
☆Michael Audrey Myers☆
☆ Jason Voorhees ☆
☆ Jesse Cromeans ☆
Tw: major character death, description of injuries and bones breaking, canon violence, mature language, toxic relationships, mentions of blood, description of mental illness
A/n: THIS IS THE JUICIEST TASTIEST ANGST REQUEST EVER BRO. so happy to finally have the opportunity to write it, even tho it has taken me ages but I'VE DONE FINALLY. That's my shit right here, really tragic stories with really tragic endings and never ending dramas ANYWAY ENJOY
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BRAHMS HEELSHIRE:
I genuinely think brahms would end up killing you
LET ME EXPLAIN OKAY? DON'T COME AT ME
he wouldn't do it on purpose, it would be something accidental. Your behaviour would bring out the worst tantrum ever in history
Not your fault bro I know but it is what it is
The fact is that everytime brahms does something bad it has some sort "justification"
Like Idk if it makes sense but take greta for example
He did all those things at the beginning cause she was breaking the rules, and he killed Cole cause he was hurting her
You're not doing anything wrong but at the same time he's hypersensitive to people's behaviour so he knows you're not really doing it because you love him but more because you fear him
It's like living with his parents and even tho there's some sort of comfort in it because it's all he knows, he still wants to feel truly loved
You don't try to escape but don't let the Stockholm syndrome kick in either and you don't even give a chance to actually believe he's not going to hurt you
Which again, not your fault cause his tantrums are enough on their own to make someone shit themselves, and he knows it
We love a self-aware king
So he finds himself in this shitty in between where he can't say he doesn't has what he wants but neither that he's happy
For once in his life, having his own selfish need of you staying ecc it's not enough and he wishes for you to be happy as well
You do everything and beyond to keep him happy
Never once broke a rule, never once tried to get away, never said no to giving him affection or anything he asks for
You have even taken care of him when he was sad ecc
But he can still see it in your eyes how scare you are of him
You flinch away everytime he just as much as lifts his hand, you always tremble slightly around him, your eyes has never stopped being glossy
The only time he sees any other emotion in you besides fear is when you're alone and he's not really sure how much better that is cause you look so defeated and sad and overall depressed
Needless to say the guilt is eating him alive, to know he's the one who has ruined you like that will never leave him a moment of peace
It's literally driving him crazy
At first he was like 'yeah whatever, fuck you. You'll stay anyway and I'm not going to say sorry'
Oh boy if he did regretted it
Once again, he feels like he felt while living with his parents all over again and after a while he develops this fear of you killing yourself like they did
My man here is collecting trauma like pokemon cards
He tries everything like everything for real
He becomes more patient, he tries to take care of you instead of making you take care of him, he treats you like you could break if he's not careful enough
At this point my boy doesn't even fuckin wants you to be in love or for you to get the Stockholm syndrome, he just wants to show you he's sorry and that he has learned his lesson
It's like living in some sort of loop from hell where he can't fucking make it right even if he really wants to
He has even stopped spying you and invading your privacy without you having to ask for it
Has even considered to let you go but he has found out about this underlying fear of someone telling the police everything and making him end up in a much worse situation than being a prisoner in his own house
Funnily enough his insecurities about his face ecc are subsided by how much of a monster he feels on the inside
Like you have made very clear you're simply scared of him as a person, not because of his face.
And that's something he will never be able to get over
After countless months of trying and being in his best behaviour he just kind of snaps
You haven't seen him all day and you didn't felt observed either which made a very appreciated break from your hypervigilanting and stressing routine
Just when you thought everything was calm and you decided to head up to go to bed, there he was waiting for you at the top of the stairs
He seemed calm but you could seem the slight trembling of his body, one you recognise from numerous fits of rage he had in the past
He didn't straight up started to yell but you sensed there were like wrong and right answers to each question he was making
He kept asking you if you loved him truly, if you were happy or if you wanted to leave
To everything you always answered what he wanted to hear even tho the feeling that you were saying the wrong thing was only growing more and more
'You're scared of me, aren't you? You'll never want to be here'
At this point he knows you're lying and for a second something seems to switch in you
He has stopped wearing the mask around you so now you can freely see how pained he actually looks
You have never noticed before how tired he looks too
You have spent so much time being scared of him that now that you see it and you like really look at him you can see how defeated and miserable he has been
There's no trace of pretending or lying or trying to manipulate you in any way
Now you're still scared but not as much and for once you actually decide on your own to try and help him
You can't stand to look at him crying like that, it looks like he's going to die from a heartbreak anytime soon
You start to go towards him with your hands up forwards so he knows you mean no harm
It's really like trying to get a stray animal to trust you
He has his hands covering his face and you can see how violent are the sobs, you actually take a minute to let yourself be amazed by the fact that even with such a hard and brutal crying he's able to conceal the noise
He's used to do it since he was a kid and it shouldn't surprise you that much but in some way it does
When you finally reach for him that's when he pushes you away screaming
Which scares the shit out of you and makes you lose your balance
It's a cliché but he swears it all happened so fast but at the same time so slow
He saw how you made yourself trip backwards and your face contorted in panic as you felt the void behind you, realising you were about to fall down the stairs
He tried to grab you but you were trying to hold on the rail so you just completely missed his hand
You basically flew down the really long staircase and all he could do was watch
He had that paralysing feeling of guilt and fear clawing at his guts as he watched you fall
But when he heard the disgusting sound of your neck basically snapping against the hardwood floor, that's when he really felt sick
He almost wanted to run away and pretend nothing has happened cause in his mind, if he got near you now that would make you dead for real
For now as he watches from afar you could still be alive
BTW baby bro here is not stupid and I'm not talking basic level of knowledge nono
I'm talking he has studied and read about a lot of stuff including books about medical things like injuries ecc
Basically he's like really smart
That being said, and I know you know where I'm going with this
From the moment you fell he knew you wouldn't survive.
Either that or you would end up disabled
He knows too that when you snap your neck you don't die on the spot but you feel a ridiculous amount of pain until the injure does its course of action
That's yet another thing he feels guilty about your death
He should've put you out of your pain at least but he didn't, he just stared at you while shaking and crying silently
He didn't even dared to move in case some invisibile and unnoticed force of the universe would notice what he has done and decided to punish him for it
Which thinking about he felt like he was already being punished
It's kind of sad cause he didn't actually meant it, it was truly an accident but he will always blame himself for it as if he was the one actively pushing you
Now he knows that no matter what he does or how much he changes he's always destined to be the cause of the death of the people he loves.
Which he should've seen coming since not even his parents could bear his existence
MICHAEL MYERS:
Tbh he's not that shocked about it
I mean bro at least acknowledges the fact that he is the fucking boogeyman and everyone will always find him scary
He doesn't even tries to excuse himself because he knows he kills and he's a overall unhinged man and that's something a normal person will never get over
What bothers him is the acting nice
When you both met, you really didn't knew who he was
He happened to have been badly injured and was like bleeding the fuck out on your backyard
yes, you basically just took him inside as if he was some sort of stinky and pitiful ugly cat
That and the fact that you're taking care of him stirred him away from the idea of killing you
No shame in being oblivious to the most juicy gossip in town but bro was really just waiting for you to recognise him
When you did, and you started to act all nice and scared ecc he has to admit he took advantage of it
He knew how to scare you into never running away and never snitching him to the police so he could use you for food ecc
At some point he was impressed by how well you're able to keep up with this
No lashing out, no crying and you have never broke down
He could tell tho that you have never been this stressed
Your hands are always trembling, you don't sleep well at night so you're getting clumsier by the minute
When you drop stuff, burn food ecc he doesn't mind much but as time goes by it's hard for him to not get attached to you
Which it frustrates him cause he it makes him even more aware of how you see him
He has come to know you by invading your privacy a little bit
He had to since you were not exactly open to let him get to know you
The more he finds the more he likes you
And the more he likes the more he realise he has basically killed you from the inside
It's hard to think all of those things he has found out are about you cause now you look more like a shell of what you used to be
And he definitely feels the guilt of being responsible of you losing your spirit
You're the first person he really cares about and loves like really truly loves
But that goes against everything he is now cause he can't possibly choose between be with you or killing
He starts to dwell on the past too much and the more he thinks about it the more he gets mad about the situation
Before you he has never really care too much about the injustices he has suffered
As a matter of fact he has never really grasped the fact that so many people have failed him and that's why he will never have a normal life
There was a time where he kind of did but that was long ago when he was just a kid
At some point he just accepted what everyone said he was, that he's only purpose and role in life was to be a monster to everyone
Whether he wanted to or not it wasn't really important
No one would help him nor he could make people change their minds
Besides, his reasoning is that if so many people is saying it then it must be true
And in his own selfish way he thought that the only one who got the consequences of it was him and the idiots who happened to be killed by him
Now that he sees the result of what everyone and himself has done with him on you he just feels sick
He finds himself spending hours observing you and daydreaming about how a normal version of him would've lived a normal life with you
He tries really hard to show you he can be gentle
Spends hours observing other couples and what normal people do with their loved ones to understand better how he should act in order to get closer to you
It's so frustrating for him cause he literally doesn't has a choice anymore and he sees in you everything that's wrong with him that he can't change
He feels for the first time as broken as he really is
At some point he wishes you could just drop the act of being nice, treat him like trash so he can tell to himself you're like everyone else therefore he doesn't need you
But even if you were to do that he knows he would never be able to kill you
Everytime you touch him even if it's by mistake he gets a bubbly feeling of hope inside that maybe you're starting to see him as something different than what he is
But then he looks at your eyes and he sees the same glossy and sad scared stare looking right back at him
He knows there's like nothing else he can do and for the first time he just gives up
He needs to like get used to not be able to see you so he starts with small steps
He starts to staying out for a couple of hours more than usual, then hours turn to days, days into weeks, weeks into months and months into a year
Everytime he comes back and you see him he can immediately see the shift in your behaviour and how you lose all the already weak sparkle you have gathered from knowing he was far away from you
That's the worst part of it for him
He needs to see you, he wants to spend time with you and looks forward to see you for the last few times before going away fr
But you on the other part seem to flourish when he's not around, to count the minutes and seconds until he's gone
It kinda makes him feel like he felt when he was a kid and he wanted to see his parents
The day he finally came back for the last time after a year you were asleep
He didn't even sit on the bed, nor did he woke you up or did anything that could steer you away from your sleep
He sat on the floor near your bed in complete silence
He took off his mask knowing that you would never see him and he just stared at you
He wanted to look at you, take in every detail of your face to burn it in his brain so he would never forget you
He just wanted to look at you not as the shape, but just as Michael. Even if just for one time he wanted to pretend he was just that and that you were being stared by a person and not a monster
For once his difficulty in expressing his emotions was useful because if he were to let go of all the things he was experiencing he could swear he would just explode or melt away
The only thing that came out of him was a tear, which he swiped away slowly before getting up and putting on the mask again
After that he never came back, obviously you were over the moon and he was just well going on with it
He occasionally stalks you but after some time he stops cause it makes him feels sickeningly alone
Here something to think about if you need to cry: sometimes he thinks back at when he was trying to get closer to you
One of the things he wanted to do the most was holding hands but you always looked so scared when he tried to do that he just dropped it
He understands how it might look to you that this tall ass bastard is trying to hold your hand
That and the fact that he wasn't really good at being careful and gentle didn't help his cause
So from time to time, when he thinks about it he stares at his hands
You know when you like pretend to be holding someone's hand while holding yours?
Well he does that and finds ironic the fact that he has learned to do it gently now that he will never be able to do it with you
JASON VOORHEES:
Listen, LISTEN
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK, IM A JASON APOLOGIST FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND
jason my beloved what are this foul gremlins making me do smh
He is one of the few slashers I genuinely think could change for you and try to make things better
Jason doesn't kills just for funsies
He kills because his sense of duty and to protect himself and his home and all that jazz
I don't really think he genuinely wants anyone fearing him
If anything it's the opposite. He has been treated like a monster his whole life, no one has ever gave him the opportunity to be something else
Like why would he enjoy ending up being what everyone has always thought of him? Doesn't make any fucking sense mate
Like I said he has to, he genuinely thinks there's nothing else for him to do and there's no other place in the whole world for him
IM GONNA CRY BUT LIKE HE'S AT LEAST GRATEFUL OF HAVING A PURPOSE CAUSE HE GENUINELY THINKS HE'S SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE OR MISTAKE
So my Wild take of the day for which I'm ready to bet my own ass is that if he could he would very much appreciate to just be left alone and live a normal life, not bothering or harming anyone
The fact is that much more like so many other slashers he can't really communicate to tell you at least his reasons for being a murderer
That's something that torments him daily, to know that in your eyes he's merciless and overall really evil
Assuming you survive being hunted down by him, he would do near to everything to show he's not a threat for you
You must have been someone who he didn't deem fair to kill
Like you were respectful, you didn't seem to be a fucking moron messing around and ruining his home
Once again, I'm gonna assume you just don't know about him and crystal lake ecc
cause otherwise for you to be there is pretty much a death wish from your part
That being said, if you don't know anything about him there's a good chance that the scariest part of Jason (sadly) it's his appearance and behaviour
JASON BABE YOU'RE HUGE LIKE SCARY BIG, WHAT THE MCFUCK IS ONE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SEEING YOU CHARGING AT THEM LIKE A FUCKING GRIZZLY BEAR
The whole being chased around like a fucking animal is not a vibe i guess
LET ME BE DELUSIONAL ABOUT THE FACT THAT WITH ENOUGH TIME HE COULD BE QUITE NICE TO BE AROUND
I won't let anyone ruin my mental image of him being a sweetheart once you know him
THAT MAN CAN'T BE THAT EVIL. YES, I CAN FIX HIM. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN'T THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM
Now, jason may be shy and a gentle giant but he's not stupid
He knows very well how you think of him and how does he looks like to anyone who sees him
He can see through your act, you can't fool him
He can see the same scared look in your eyes he used to see on other people's face when he was a kid
The only person who has always looked at him like he's just well a human being with feelings is his mother
And maybe it doesn't makes sense and It may be controversial but deep down jason appreciates the nice act
Like he just can't bring himself to care anymore. At least someone is trying to be nice
Keep in mind this man has known nothing from the world beside humiliation, pain and loneliness
Idk if anyone ever thinks about it but it torments me a great deal the thought of Jason's miserable life
Being stripped away from your humanity, having to choose a path of violence to protect yourself, having to witness how they kill the only person in the whole universe that could ever love you
That shit it's just not fair and even if he knows you're scared of him he sees it as the most caring and thoughtful anyone has ever been with him in a long time
Think about it, anyone who has ever seen him has either tried to kill him or has been incredibly cruel
The fact that, even if out of fear and self-preservation, you try to still reach to his human side and treat him with respect at least it's already enough
I think he could be one of those slasher that could make you fall in love without falling for the Stockholm syndrome type of infatuation
HE IS, OKAY? I WILL TAKE NO FUCKING CRITICISMS. YOU WILL GENUINELY FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM OR ELSE I'LL STEAL YOUR FUCKING PET
Jason would literally try everything to get you to feel less stressed around him
It breaks his heart to see your eyes glossy or your body shaking because of fear
In the process he gets clumsier by the minute so at the in of the day you're both stressed
He is because he's scaring you just by breathing and you bc obvious reasons
You can notice how different he acts tho and somehow, his efforts manage to go through your thick layer of fear
You could swear he almost tries to make himself look as harmless and gentle as possible
You can see him trying to take as little space as he can or bringing you things that might cheer you up
He cleans up from blood and gore before getting back home
He even makes his cabin more homely for you so you feel more at home and less kidnapped
And at some point it works
That plus you somehow piecing together what has happened to him it's starting to make it easier for you to not relax but overall feel less terrified around him
He would spend so much time watching you from afar because he knows he will never get to know you or see you without fear
The days where he can observe you without you noticing anything are his favourite. He gets to see a version of you more relaxed and natural
He would literally spend an eternity being far from you if it means you can feel better
He would spend his free time improving the cabin and daydreaming about what it would be like to be liked by you
Not even like dating you because he feels it would be wrong for him to even think about it
Please for the love of God, try to be friendly with him
Having the opportunity to know him better is taking away some of the fear
You know very well it's not Stockholm syndrome cause it feels genuine
One day you take a good look at him while he's taking care of his flowers I'm the garden
You observe every part of his rotting being and you can't exactly explain why but you feel your heart ache and your eyes glossy
Not for you, but for him
It's almost like some sort of illumination comes to you and makes everything painfully clear
You have obviously noticed he's not alive cause we're stupid but not that much
You take a really good look at his clothes and body, at his mask and everything you look at to get more details about him
Everything in his appearance screams hurt, wounded and mistreated. A whole life and a afterlife filled with getting hurt and abused by the world
His bright blue eye has always a layer of sadness in it even when he's doing something that makes him happy
It hits you just now how little human he must feel.
And that leads you to realise that he has not only changed so much just to please you but has distanced himself as if he's very own existence could be offensive to you
From that day you started with small steps like saying good morning or good night to him, keeping him company when he tended to his garden, trying to get closer to him even if that means just being in silence and standing next to him
That grows into "talking" with him, taking walks around the woods, spending evenings reading inside the cabin
You insist in eating together, tending his wounds, mending his clothes and overall doing anything that could make him feel less like the shell of a human being
At first he doesn't really get it but the more you do it the more he silently realises how much he craves those types of things.
I personally think that with enough patience you both could build a good relationship and you could even talk him out of killing people and settle for just scaring them away
He's favourite thing to do is curling up next to you in bed, his head on your chest so he can listen to your heartbeats while you mindlessly caress his back while telling him about anything you want
JESSE CROMEANS:
🎶DADDY LET ME KNOW THAT I'M YOUR ONLY GORL🎶
Some funzies before doing some emotional terrorism
Since you all want to be a menace with this requests I'm going to use post accident Jesse
To say this man is on the verge of tears every single day is an understatement
So long story short you were jesse s/o
He was like the love of your fucking life and you were his
His whole world goes around you, you're the only thing that makes him genuinely happy besides his work
You found out about the whole chromeskull thing in the worst way possible
He was scared of coming back after the accident with his face so he just kind of distanced himself
Everytime you would ask when he was coming home he always had an excuse
You both went a long time of just calling each other's, spending time on calls and sometimes even falling asleep with the phone still on
He missed you so much but he couldn't bear the thought of you looking at him like he was monster
It was killing him to know he was so close to you but couldn't reach you
You find out who he really was on accident
Cleaning around to distract yourself you ended up gathering many things that needed to be put in the attic so that you did
Once you were there you found some tapes. You checked them out of curiosity and oh boy you regretted it
You felt so sick you almost threw up
All those girls, there were some many of them in each tape and each one of them different from the other
It was horrifying to watch the love of your life mercilessly torture and kill helpless and innocent people
Now everything made so much more sense and It actually made you feel even worse to know that this whole time, while you were talking with him, Jesse was killing people
What hurts the most is feeling like you've been played, like you were something he has used to entertain himself until he finds a new victim
Needless to say you didn't stayed in your shared apartment a day longer, you didn't even take with half of the things you own
Most of them were gifts Jesse bought you so bringing them with you was only going to make it worse
You were scared out of your mind. So scared that in fact you couldn't even find the courage to go to the police, afraid that maybe that would end up with your being another one of Jesse victims
Obviously no one told Jesse what was going on. They all collectively agreed their boss was dealing with enough shit to keep adding more
They all needed Jesse to focus on work
That didn't worked well cause as soon as you stopped answering the phone he decided enough was enough
He needed to check what was going on so he found the courage to overcome his insecurities and go find you
He was heartbroken when he found you left
He immediately thought that you just got tired of waiting for him, that he has drawn you away
Long story short he went after you to find you and try at the best of his abilities to explain everything and win you back
He did not see the coming all that panic and terror in your face when he knocked at your door
He did think it was bc of his face so he tried to calm you down and explain
Needless to say you didn't calm down and he being the man he is, just kind of kidnapped you
Now onto business here
He knows you have every right to feel like this but it still upsets him deeply to know that he will never get the chance of being with you like before
He thought that you being scared and acting crazy every time you saw him was the worst but now he is kind of rethinking it
You started acting like this after he "snapped" at you
You were panicking and screaming while he tried to tell you something, that lead to you taking his mask off accidently which ended up in him pushing you off too hard
After that things went really fucking downhills
It wasn't like you were still out of your mind but the look in your eyes is unbearable
The first time you started the whole acting nice thing he almost thought you were starting to at least tolerate him but then he saw it
It's the same look some of his victims had while trying to gain his trust, seeing it on you was the worst thing he has ever experienced
He just couldn't stand it anymore, his face, you hating him, his favourite victim who was the one that has damaged him so badly killed by that cunt of Preston and now this? Mate is done
He has tried everything and anything but now he just kind of gives up
You notice the shift in his behaviour, how he comes by just to bring your meals or things you may need, he doesn't even goes near you or talks and his eyes are always anywhere but on you
I gotta be real with you guys, I don't think there's like a way to make this up
HE'S HURT OKAY? BRO'S EMOTIONAL DAMAGE IS BIG AF
He would even start sending his assistant to take care of you so he doesn't has to face you at all
It's just painful cause he already feels like his life is ruined and everything is falling apart with him not being able to fix it
You know what? I'm gonna fix it cause I can't take it anymore
You have probably grown used to be basically trapped at home, it's not like you're suffering with god knows what kind of abuse cause you basically have all you need to distract yourself aside from going out
Jesse comes home very rarely and as much as you hate to admit it you have been feeling less and less scared of him
You still think what he does is horrible but the thing that bothers you it's him lying to you
You do have to admit you miss being with him. Not like when you were scared but like when you didn't knew and he was just Jesse
You wonder from time to time if he's angry at you for how you have reacted since he hasn't shown himself for quite sometimes
As if on clue you hear something break in the bathroom and what seems like someone crying
That would be another of Jesse's mental breakdowns about his face. He thinks he looks so bad he can't even bear the sight of himself in the mirror
You slowly try to approach the bathroom and putting your ear against the door, you try to hear what's going on
You have never heard Jesse crying nor making any sort of noises come out of his mouth so it's actually quite shocking to hear him sob so hard
When you open the door the scene breaks your heart and in that moment you don't see chromeskull or the homicides, you just see your Jesse, the same one you have always loved and that has always helped you when you were down, on his knees bawling his eyes out and shaking
You just do what comes naturally aka you get closer and you just hold him as tight as possible
He tries to hide away, panicking bc he doesn't want you to see what he has become, but you just keep hugging him and saying that it doesn't matter
The moment you hold his face on your hands and look at him with the same understanding gaze you used to have it's the moment he feels his heart beating right again
It's not gonna be easy to accept everything but at least you're coming around it and he makes sure you know how grateful he is for it everyday
#slasher fandom#slasher community#slashers#slasher fanfiction#slasher x reader#horror movies#slasher headcanons#michael myers#brahms heelshire#jason voorhees#jesse cromeans#chromeskull#jason vorhees x reader#brahms heelshire x reader#michael myers x reader#slasher#jesse cromeans x reader
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Spoilers for c3e91 below:
Honestly, the campaign is in such a good and interesting spot after the last episode. FCG's death is tragic and heartrendingly sad, but it ushers in so many possibilities.
If they reincarnate them, what does that look like for an aeormaton? What kind of body would they end up with? Would the new body change their stats? The spell may not call for that, but going from a robot to a flesh being would seem (to me) to demand it. What would it be like for FCG to finally feel and experience everything they've been longing to understand about "soul-touched" people's existences?
If they don't try to reincarnate them or FCG refuses to come back, it's still a terribly satisfying and earned ending for a beloved character AND we get to meet whatever new character Liam tells Sam decides to play. New people bring new interpersonal dynamics, potential for conflict, or new alliances, which is always interesting.
Regardless, I think we'll get to see Bell's Hells deal with FCG's death, what happened during the moon mission, AND the events at Nana Morri's house which they still haven't discussed in any depth. Both Ashton and Fearne are going to be down 2 points of exhaustion after their titan forms wear off, so it would make sense for the party to take a breather once they're back on Exandria and have debriefed Keyleth, Percy, and Co.
Even though unearthing the conflicting emotions about what they've been through will probably be volatile in the short-term, I would expect BH's to come out stronger in the end. I don't see them breaking apart or abandoning their mission, especially after FCG's death.
Speaking of their mission, I've seen a lot of people guessing that BH will go off to do something else while the high-powered players in the Exandrian Alliance (not their name, but I'm a Star Wars fan, so whatever) face off with Ludinus and his allies on Ruidus. But the Volition don't know Keyleth and the others, they know Bell's Hells. At least in the short-term they're going to have to be moderators between the two factions just to get them working together. And again, given FCG's death and their various ties to events or people on the moon, I don't see them leaving the moon while the battle is being fought unless they're sent somewhere else by someone they trust.
Sing it with me: "What do you do with a problem like Liliana?" I don't think she'll go to Exandria with them. (Prove me wrong, Matt Mercer, please! I can't wait to be a fly on the wall if Liliana has to face Keyleth in person.) And if she does, what then? Does the Alliance try to take her prisoner or kill her? What does Imogen do then?
Whether she stays on the moon or goes back to Exandria, just showing up to (maybe) try to save her daughter from Otohan doesn't mean anything has really changed for Liliana as far as what she believes. How much can they trust her? What will she do when confronted with a difficult choice where she has to actually give up on one of the things she wants? Who is Liliana as a person really?
So many interesting questions and on top of it all is whatever Ludinus and the Weave Mind are cooking up.
#critical role#bells hells#critical role spoilers#c3e91#liliana temult#fresh cut grass#keyleth of the air ashari
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Is miss Muffet going to appear? Where is she?
I thought she came with them in the Lands In Between
YES ZAC YES ZAC
His nat20s are INSANE.
Oh we went hard Christian indeed
Oh no Lou. You broke my heart. "why other could? Why consequences not only never seemed to apply to other kids but were the ultimate for me. Why did I have to suffer every step of the way. Why must I suffer all the time whatever i do."
"For a moment you are all marionettes together". Stop it. Stop. It's too strong to hard.
Oh no not the turquoise hair fairy
Oh what was this second map with the sea?? Ariel? And I think they were other border of countries
Oh no Gepetto wth. Poor Pinocchio
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE YOU??? What the what the what. Whaaaaat?
I'm crying so hard. I know he doesn't believe it but I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much
Or there she is
Brennan showing absolutely perfect the danger kids are in when the people in their life don't show them love and affection enough. They get easily manipulated and are ready to give everything to the first glimpse of affection. Real or not. I don't blame Pinocchio, I will never blame him. But I HATE what the Turquoise hair fairy and Gepetto did. Oh you regret what you said? Apologize. Apologize NOW. You can't afford your kid being so neglected and deprived of your affection that the will run first thing to anyone. That's how grooming happen.
Oh the way they all jumped to tell him his dad loved him but it doesn't excuse that what he did and say was wrong
"Even though the moral is wrong Pinocchio still has to escape the moral of his story" oh this episode is breaking me
Oh so the fairies are not a united bunch, interesting
Still absolutely don't trust her tho
Okay so basically the Bad Things are happening because it doesn't match what the Authors want? But if the Authors would. Well. Disappear. What would happen?
Oh we're finally getting some insight on the relationships between groups
I fucking love the big bad wolf. Well I love wolf. I'm just sad he doesn't have a pack, he must me lonely
OH YES RED STORY YES YES FINALLY
Dramatic backstory: starting
Emily: Cinnamon Toast Rolls and Lollypopcorn
Bye broth! A caterpillar chasing their friend the butterfly
"Your ears are honking big" picturing the Wolf listening to the caterpillar and butterfly story while waiting to eat her. Story he already know ofc
They are just loosing it at "Honkin" and honestly same
I love the wolf so hard he is a tragedy that's incredible "why? I am a wolf"
Oh she waited so long. So so long. No wonder she killed the Woodsman.
She was so hungry. I love her. I hate The Wolf. I love the Wolf. I wonder what happened to him to end up there.
YES RED YES. She met death and death convinced her to live!
Gerard's story is so funny, tragic and very reflective but so. Funny.
The absolute chaos if Gerard just. Dies.
"do you go where the dogs are or to your frog pound" "pretty loaded question"
It's adorable that Murph just stated that years after it's still only Fred 2 and 3. Not like. 364.
Oh no they are dead
Oh their meet cute is so adorable
The plot thickens as we met the Gander
OH CINDERELLA
Oh no it's the Stepmother story
Yes it is
That's so much wider she loved her daughters
BABA YAGA OH YES OH FHKGFXHJ
Yeah same Emily EXACTLY SAME
Oh i'm so happy. She's so strong and old
She's going to be a pain in the ass
"your daughters won't be injured if you eat them, and then you will be able to save them" i'm not sure but that's something she could say for sure
There goes the witch way
To be the vilain in every story. To be cursed with never having a story. I would be mad too
How cruel that in a way she has the same goal as Cinderella
She big mad
But when does she eat her daughters?
No no no not her present. You are level 4 guys
Oh that's where she eats her daughters
Rosamund is so smart
The brick little pig being called a boar and a Baron (love the alliteration btw)
I understand from Brennan that while they were running for their life the book of mother Goose downloaded a shit load of information
Have they slept since they arrive in this new life? I feel like they didn't which is HORRIFYING
Any situation: involve a living being
Pib: I kill them
I really would like to understand the nature of that damn book fr
That Gérard&Pib interaction was gold:
Pib: idk how we're going to know someone who knows...
Gerard (vigorously) : yeah we just need to break him out
Pib (confused) : wait... We... No no I think we..
Love them to bits
"so you guys go camping?" well yeah Brennan THEY HAVEN'T REST IT'S A LONG DAY FOR THEM
They are children. "Can we sleap on the roof please?"
LONG REST
The dice sometimes tel' the story of a Frog who got a level of exhaustion from being outside, wet and dirty. Basic living conditions for frogs. While the wooden boy who can rot easily is sooo fine.
Mother Goose bless 🙌🙌
That envoy is absolutely spectacular. A Princess (slept for 100y)with her envoy, basically and old man, a puppet, a cat, a manfrog and a cloak
Rosamund: I AM NOT going to propose myself to be married. No. Not interested and I don't think that's something you do
30sec later: I'm here to offer myself in marriage
Zac and Emily's reactions>>>
Can't believe the Baron isn't call Beter
#dimension 20#d20#brennan lee mulligan#neverafter#siobhan thompson#ally beardsley#zac oyama#lou wilson#brian murphy#emily axford#ylfa snorgelsson#little red riding hood#gerard of greenleigh#pib neverafter#puss in boots#pinocchio#pinocchio neverafter#mother goose#mother timothy goose#sleeping beauty#rosamund du prix
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I haven't seen anyone else talking about this, so I suppose I'll take the plunge. At the risk of being overly critical, Hilda S3 E3 "The Giant Slayer" felt a little sloppy to me. Or at least, underdeveloped. Don't get me wrong, I do really like the overall story of that episode. it offered some unique set pieces and opened the possibility of a Hildaverse, as well as teaching us a little bit more about Wood Man. But there were a bunch of things that just rubbed me the wrong way a little. I'm not going to go into all of them here since I don't want this post to be about negativity, but it all culminated with a few frames towards the end of the episode. It looked like part of the story board just wasn't erased, and it is floating prominently right above Wood Man.
Now, I don't know enough to speculate about time crunches or production budgets or sloppy editing or whatever else. It could just be a single honest mistake in an otherwise fantastic season. When I first saw it, I thought it was probably just a feature of me having watched it all on the first day and it would be spotted and edited out soon afterwards. But it is still there today.
In retrospect, there's also a number of other little animation inconsistencies that popped up. The biggest one was that the framerate wasn't always consistent. Key example, towards the start of E8 "The Fairy Isle," it drops substantially when Hilda, Frida, and David start walking towards Tofoten. It's a little jarring and returns to normal right afterwards with Astrid's knitting.
Those errors don't really detract from the overall story and might be a little nitpicky, but it really felt like S3 was dropped before it was completely finished. Like there wasn't time to draw some of the in-between frames and scrub through the series for leftover artifacts from the production process. And when combined with some of the plot lines and character choices feeling a little off, I don't know. It just makes me feel a little bit sad.
There's not really anything that can or likely will be done at this point, especially as Hilda is tragically underappreciated and any errors are almost undoubtedly the fault of Netflix not giving it the support it needed. And if this is the last foray we will have into Hilda's amazing animated world, I don't want its memory to be tarnished at all by me fretting over tiny things that could have been better. But these things have been nagging at me since it released, and I needed to get them off my chest.
#hilda#hilda the series#hilda netflix#hilda season 3#the woodman hilda#hilda spoilers#hilda season 3 spoilers#hilda s3#hilda s3 spoilers
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This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.
TMA S5 Spoilers ahead
The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss
I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho
The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN
REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.
At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!
Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)
Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?
Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.
Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.
Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.
"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"
The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.
SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE
I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that
Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.
Martin: Something something "one of you"
Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."
Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands
He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him
I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)
They deserve nice things.
Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role
The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists
"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin
Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD
SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE
Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!
The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat
Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.
NO JON THE PLAN
Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.
I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.
Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming
JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL
I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting
THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH
They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind
#basira hussain#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#mag 200#tma s5#tma s5 spoilers#melanie king#georgie#their cult ig#mikaele salesa#alice daisy tonner#jonmartin#somewhere else#annabelle cane
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JUST TO HURT YOU 4
After speaking with Maggie, Nina and Muriel it is now clear to me what I have to do even if it will be very difficult. But I have to do it, I can't put it off any longer. But I'm scared and very scared. I keep thinking about his words, so full of resentment and at the same time full of sadness and then the absurd story of taking other people to bed, Crowley would never do something like that, not to me... at least I hope so. Maybe I should also take into account his possible rejection and I would probably understand it very well but... I don't want it to happen, I don't want it to end between us, I don't want to lose what we have created in 6000 years, all the laughter, the dinners, the smiles , miracles. Because this is ultimately the truth, my truth... I don't want to lose Crowley. Only now do I realize it, only now do I see the reality. Only now do I realize what his words meant that morning in the library. I have to go back to his house and tell him these same words, no hesitation, no shame and no hidden words. Only clarity and sincerity.
– –
After these careful reflections made while walking throughout the library, sometimes speaking in a loud voice, Aziraphale took courage and left the library to go towards the demon's house, he could also have performed a small miracle to get there as quickly as possible but he decided to walk a little.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, a red-haired demon had woken up from his post-crying sleep, his hair was disheveled and he was half-naked wrapped in black sheets that covered his nakedness. He still felt guilty for the words that had come out of his mouth but he didn't want to think about it, the phrase 'nothing lasts forever' was still clear in his head, what a bad phrase to say and even more so to hear . A beautiful response phrase would have been 'but we do!', this would have been a fabulous catchphrase that, perhaps, would have changed things... or perhaps not. It was too late now.
– –
All this is driving me crazy, it makes me mad and nervous at the same time. It makes me feel frustrated and gives me an indescribable sense of annoyance. I had never felt like this before, not even my fall was so tragic, I had learned to accept it early on, being a fallen angel wasn't that bad, damnation suits me very much. I am free to do what I want to whoever I want and with WHO I want. So why do I feel so damn guilty?! Why don't I feel free to act as I want?! My head is pounding and I want so much to relax and not think about anything. I need time to reflect and think. I don't want humans around me, I don't want angels around me and, in particular, I don't want Aziraphale to be near me, I'm fed up with his bullshit, actions or words. I don't want to deny the fact that I miss that stupid angel, because that would be a lie, but I need some peace of mind right now.
While I reflect to myself, an old acquaintance of mine comes to mind, an old...friendship, if we want to call it that. She would be a great comfort to me at this time.
I take my cell phone from the bedside table and scroll through my address book and after several searches I finally find it among the latest contacts with the letter W. I don't remember why I saved it like that. We haven't spoken to each other for years and I don't even remember when the last time we saw each other was.
I start the call and after a few beeps he finally answers me.
<<Hello, traitor.>>
<<Oh, you know that too, huh?>>
<<Obviously, everyone in hell knows what you did. But you know what, you did well.>>
<<You believe?>>
<<Of course, my dear Crowley. I was tired of always going to war with the forces of Heaven but you and your little friend found a solution that will work for several millennia.>>
<<Yes well... he and I had an argument and now we don't talk to each other anymore. We've done each other wrongs and now we're on the fence with our friendship and I don't know what to do.>>
<<I imagine you want a friend right now and maybe even 'other'.>>
<<You certainly know me well.>>
<<Give me 10 minutes and I'll be at your place. I was taking care of some business in Hell.>>
<<I'll wait for you.>>
Maybe with her I will be able to relax for a few hours.
#crowley#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowleyxaziraphale#ineffable lovers#love quotes#crowley x aziraphale#crowley good omens#aziracrow
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Heartbreak High
The new one, not the old one.
This show has always managed to confuse me and I don't know if it's an Australian thing or a writer's thing. I'm pretty sure it's the former coz it happens every time I watch anything Australian.
But this season was even more confusing than the first. Like in the first season, it was chaotic to me how everyone ended up fucking almost everyone, I could not guess who was going to get together at fucking all. All it took is for these fuckers to make 4-second eye-contact and BAM sex, get a grip. Ig teenagers are actually like that and I'm just a loser. Anywho, this season, the only thing that confused me was Rowan's whole character arc.
Let me break this down:
He said that when he came to Hartley High, he was just ready to move on from his brother's death, or maybe he wanted to move on in Dubbo, I dunno I kind of didn't pay attention. But like, he started killing birds and terrorizing Amerie with them on the first fucking day of being there, because she didn't remember him?
This motherfucker went into the forest, while Ant was busy threatening to cut his dick off, killed a bird, and put it on her bag? Sorry but how fast does this man act? What a machine.
Then he dated her ex-boyfriend? For what reason? Was it strategic? I still haven't figured that one out yet. Like sure it'll make Amerie jealous but he seemed genuinely into him so I don't think that's it. Actually, thinking about it now, Malakai is hot and Rowan was all "forget Amerie" or whatever so that bit does make sense tbh. I cried when they broke up go away, imagine the person you're dating calls u by their ex's name? ugh sad
Then after breaking up with Malakai and getting his heart savagely broken, he just starts dating Amerie? At first, I assumed that was because he planned to hurt her emotions, but he literally spoke about her to 'Jett' like he was into her, so that confused me. I thought he hated her?
Like bro seemed to not have a plan. I know he's not mentally stable and all that but like what was going on in his mind? He's trying to ruin her life, but also likes her, but also thinks she murdered his brother.
And why did he tell Malakai to fuck off when he started dating Amerie? Like was that genuine possessiveness or was that part of the plan? (My little brain was like "awe he wants to protect Malakai from whatever he has planned at that dance so he's telling him to go away, cutee he still likes him" but I'm delulu so ignore that)
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF
His delusions just vanished with Amerie saying: "he died because he loved you" and a clip of Jett not being a part of Rowan's hallucination anymore... like excuse me, I need a clip of this man going to a therapist and actually acknowledging his schizophrenia, not whatever this form of fucking 'closure' is.
It was so half-arsed, it made me mad.
Man, I genuinely liked the guy, but it seemed like they created his plot 4 episodes into the season. Nothing linked.
Still was very obsessed with the show tho. The sarcasm and the sibling vibes were very entertaining. STILL THE PLOT MAKES VERY LITTLE SENSE. But, again I'm very bad at paying attention so I might've got it all wrong.
Side note: the principal's dog (Joan of Arc) with her little fuchsia-coloured vest were the highlight of this show for me, isn't that kinda sad? There is a scene where the principal is talking to Cash, and Joan is facing the opposite direction and I laughed at that for like 30 minutes, tragic.
#heartbreak high 2022#rowan callaghan#amerie wadia#malakai mitchell#I need to get a fucking life this is sad#Joan of Arc the dog#Yes I'm making a tag for her#she stole the show for me
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