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#dude help this gal
byvishanti · 7 months
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honestly why is it so hard to find poc/desi (specifically bollywood actually) male faceclaims below 40-50 age.
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crispy-chan · 11 months
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Business proposal just fully leaned into the “savior guy saves the day” trope 🙃
And I’m fucking loving it
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duskythesomething · 2 months
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this bitch downstairs has GOTTA have hearing problems or smtn HOOOOWWWW do you play your tv/music that loud in the tiniest apartment known to man and it not hurt your head
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an-unraveling-unknown · 7 months
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Friend!! :DDD
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astonmartinii · 1 month
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it must be a sign | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem deaf! red bull engineer!reader
when the two most unbothered people in the paddock combine their joint powers to be the it couple
request sent by the lovely @bibissparkles xx
author's note: heyyy so many of you won't know but i am actually deaf - i am 50% deaf in both ears and wear hearing aids so i love requests like this! (all i do most of this stuff as a deaf person, turning off your hearing aids >)
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 302,446 others
yourusername: you can't complain about the dutch national anthem when you can just turn your hearing aids off
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user1: the way max's engineer is as sick of that damn song as us
user2: turning off her hearing aids makes how bored she looks during podiums make sense
yourusername: it was a banger during the mercedes dominance but would it kill someone to play the australian anthem
danielricciardo: i knew you missed me
yourusername: sure, jan.
user3: her and max signing slay to each other will always be so personal to me
maxverstappen1: gonna pretend you didn't just say that
yourusername: boo hoo babe, you gotta lose something sometimes
user4: babe? are the flowers from max?
maxverstappen1: would rather choke on my own spit and fall into a pit of snakes, hope this helps ❤️
yourusername: rude! i wouldn't want flowers from you either :(
user5: i swear we get into this argument every weekend, i think people will still assume they're together until their married to other people
liamlawson30: stop using me as a messenger pigeon please and thank you
yourusername: but i thought red bull gave you wings?
liamlawson30: do not use a pr answer against me 🤨
yourusername: no comment
liamlawson30: choke.
yourusername: idk what's going on in the red bull junior academy but spit in helmut's coffee not mine
user6: y/n consistently giving all the red bull guys shit is my favourite thing ever
user7: the amount of times the sky broadcast has caught her waving them off or taking her hearing aids out lol
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oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 782,309 others
oscarpiastri: switched four tyres for two this weekend
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user11: you can't distract us with your slutty bike pics WHO THE FUCK IS THAT
landonorris: A WOMAN? A WOMAN? IS THAT A WOMAN OSCAR JACK PIASTRI?
oscarpiastri: yeah i'm pretty sure
landonorris: don't play smart with me buster - why was i not informed?
oscarpiastri: i don't ask to be informed of every time you get rejected in the instagram dms
landonorris: FAKE NEWS
oscarpiastri: okay buddy
user12: i be seeing the sign language book, oscar you are so real for that
user13: that's my king, i need a oscar and y/n link up in the paddock - my unbothered queens
user14: she's in the likes !!!!!!
logansargent: oh we've entered the soft launch phase i see
oscarpiastri: and what?
logansargent: someone is feeling defensive this morning, dude i won't tell i've already kept it a secret for so long
landonorris: HE KNOWS? DOES BEING YOUR TEAMMATE MEAN NOTHING?
oscarpiastri: he's my childhood best friend?
logansargent: there's levels to this game norris
landonorris: @oscarpiastri consider yourself UNDER SURVEILLANCE
oscarpiastri: okay girly
user15: oscar has the patience of a saint, the mystery gal may want to rethink it before having to deal with them all
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 381,044 others
yourusername: unrelaxed, unbothered, moisturised ✨
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user18: queen SHIT THAT AIN'T SHIT
user19: but this mystery man IS
maxverstappen1: yeah sorry about that... but at least boyfy has made his instagram debut?
yourusername: about time, he's too sexy to gatekeep
maxverstappen1: well i'm not going to agree out of respect for you
yourusername: so you don't think he's sexy? i might not be able to hear but HE CAN MAX BE NICE
maxverstappen1: first of all it's a text, second of all i've been way too nice to him
yourusername: he beat you in padel fair and square you're just SHIT AT IT ❤️
maxverstappen1: you know that's a sore subject WHY WOULD YOU BRING IT UP
user20: my queen was really like you wanna tell me to fuck off? oh here's my sexy boyfriend
user21: jos verstappen really didn't know who he was tangling with that gal may be chill but she doesn't take shit
user22: she's like a female version of oscar lol
user23: i knew there was a reason i liked her
this comment was liked by yourusername
danielricciardo: why am i left out of everything these days?
yourusername: snooze you lose
danielricciardo: I AM AWAKE REPLY TO MY TEXTS
danielricciardo: I JUST SAW YOU PUT YOUR PHONE ON DO NOT DISTURB
yourusername: protecting my peace
danielricciardo: i'm on to you buster
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oscarpiastri
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,209,455 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: overjoyed to get my first (proper) win in formula one and even more overjoyed to have my amazing girlfriend (and even better engineer) up on the podium with me
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user27: so this was the special occasion?
user28: so this is why she said she wanted the australian national anthem over the dutch one?
user29: this is now my roman empire
yourusername: babe is so fucking good and i'm so fucking proud
oscarpiastri: i'm so glad to have been able to share this moment with you
yourusername: you deserve this and more, i love you
oscarpiastri: i love you too xx
user30: wait so oscar knows so much more sign language than i thought
user31: he looked so excited and even mark knows some
logansargent: he forced (we were happy to do so) me, mark and his family to learn as soon as he secured the date lol
oscarpiastri: and now we're all so cool because of it
logansargent: cool and able to chat shit without people knowing what we're saying
yourusername: best bit about it tbf (everyone please learn, it's a beautiful language)
landonorris: I KNEW IT
oscarpiastri: no you didn't
landonorris: no i didn't :( i'm hurt
oscarpiastri: if it's any consolation, we didn't tell many people, max and logan are exceptions
landonorris: WHY WAS I NOT AN EXCEPTION???
yourusername: boo hoo
landonorris: i'm not gonna say anything back to that you kinda scare me
yourusername: good ❤️
yourusername
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, oscarpiastri and 529,778 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & oscarpiastri
yourusername: me and a racewinner (and our world champion third wheel)
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user32: fave trio in the paddock no competition
logansargent: logan erasure
yourusername: we love you logan, sunday roast at mine this weekend ❤️
logansargent: SCORE
user33: every time you post there's a new plushie
yourusername: we usually get one to commemorate a big weekend and we both got one for osc's first win
user34: that's so FUCKING CUTE
oscarpiastri: it's all fun and games until you don't fit in the bed because y/n feels too bad to put any of them on the floor
yourusername: they have FEELINGS OSCAR
oscarpiastri: she cried one time when max set off the smoke alarm cooking breakfast and the bed alarm shook so bad that all of them were thrown to the floor
yourusername: it was HARROWING but it also did wake me up so at least we know it works
maxverstappen1: actually my favourite couple to third wheel, but enjoy it while it's here osc, i won't lose again
yourusername: yeah sorry osc it's actually my job to help max win so you're gonna have to wait for him to retire if i have anything to do with it
oscarpiastri: not even for me :(
yourusername: sorry not sorry (i'm really sorry, i love you so much)
oscarpiastri: i love you too even if you won't sabotage max for my race :(
maxverstappen1: okay i know i said you guys are cute but that's enough for today
yourusername: we ARE cute thank you
oscarpiastri: the CUTEST
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fin.
note: heheheheh i hope you enjoyed this, i love requests like this xx also on the comment about the bed alarm i had one in uni halls and when the alarm went off that baby SHOOK it was kinda scary
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yesterdays-xkcd · 1 month
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But one of the regulars in the channel is a girl!
Pix Plz [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
[Black Hat stands in the entrance to Cueball's room, the door broken down. A surprised Cueball has turned away from his computer to face him.] Black Hat: Hi. I'm here about the girl who visited your IRC channel last night looking for Java help. Cueball: What did you do to my door?
Black Hat: When someone with a feminine username joins your community and you say "OMG a woman on the Internet" and 'jokingly' ask for naked pics, you are being an asshole. You are not being ironic. You are not cracking everybody up. You are the number one reason women are so rare on the Internet. Black Hat: At least, the parts of it you frequent.
[A woman enters the room, holding some sort of device.] Black Hat: As someone who likes nerdy girls, I do not appreciate this. I'm here to ban you from the Internet. The gal behind me with the EMP cannon is Joanna - she'll be assigned to you for the next year. Try to go online and she'll melt your PC. Cueball: Dude, she's hot. Is she single? Black Hat: Joanna, fire.
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bloodykora · 7 months
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I Meant It
I finally wrote an actual one shot for Buggy :)
Summary: You 'babysit' Buggy while he's only a head.
No use of y/n however reader is referred to gal and very feminine pet names (I normally write gender neutral but this was very self serving). I had to write this on my phone so if the format is different from my norm, that is why.
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“I think his nose is cute.” A voice breaks out for the first time in the conversation, the other two slowly turning towards you in shock and judgement.
“I beg your pardon sweet thing?” Sanji is the first to break the moment of silence, you raise your shoulders at him. 
“I don’t know, he's like. Okay, you know those cats who have a limb missing and they go to scratch with that limb and everyone’s like ‘awww’. That’s kinda how I think I am with him right now, look at him. He’s just a head, a little kitty who can’t scratch behind his ear and needs some help.”
“You seem to forget about the village he destroyed, the one that offered us the rest of their food after we saved them because of what him and his crew did.”
“Zoro, you out of everyone has no right to judge considering you took that random dude’s brother’s head.” You stare at the Buggy in front of us with a cloth in his mouth, watching this whole conversation about him go down.
“I do not need to be around this.” Zoro states before leaving, huffing to himself right before he goes out of ear shot. 
“I never knew you out of everyone would be into the clown type but then again, all women are a mystery.” A laugh comes out and you shake your head at Sanji’s words before replying.
“I think I just like them to be outgoing.” You slowly and dramatically look Sanji up and down before connecting gazes with him. 
Before he has the chance to respond, a loud bang erupts from a part of the ship which catches both of your attention. Sanji sighs before looking at me.
“Things can never be calm around here can they?” A smile appears on your face as you nod.
“You go check that out, I think Zoro has had enough of me today, I’ll stay here with him.” You cock your head to the side, pointing at Buggy. Sanji nods and begins to walk away.
“Be safe sweets, holler if you need anything.” He looks back to say before continuing on. 
You look back at the clown, his eyes wide watching. Taking a few steps in his direction, nearing him before bending down to him.
“Don’t make me regret this.” You quietly say out before gently removing the gag in his mouth.
“Ahh toots, that feels so much better." He states while stretching his mouth and licking his lips.
“You have no idea how dry my mouth was getting, I was almost debating having a sip of sea water!” You roll my eyes before sitting beside the barrel he was on.
“I think that would not be beneficial cause then you’d have the opposite problem of having too much water.” You pause for a second before questioning. “Can you drown? I mean like now, as just a head? You have no lungs attached to you currently.”
“I’ve never tried, I would assume yes though.”
“Well, don’t do it then. I wouldn’t wanna have to be the one to save you, or maybe I’d send Sanji to do it for me.” 
“That blondie would let me die, I’d be a lot better, mentally and physically, if it was you.” He winks at you.
“Mmm, I think anyone of us would do it begrudgingly. For Nami.” He huffs beside you, it was a little funny as just a head. You could imagine his body’s chest moving along with it.
“What is with you and that cook anyway? It’s like you two wanna jump each other, I say just get a room and do it for the sake of me and the crew.” A snort comes out at his words.
“Buggy, I don’t think Sanji is actually attracted to me. Yes, he is good looking. However, he flirts with every woman he sees. In front of me too. Ya know, you two kinda remind me of each other in that regard.”
“Oh darling, I would treat you so much better than he ever could.” His words are filled with honey, sweet and dripping. You look at him, face in a ‘really?’ gaze.
“I don’t know, he is French. And you know there is a kiss named after them.” He scoffs at the retort.
“My head detaches, do I have to say more?” 
Your face drops in realization and your cheeks begin to heat up at his words.
“Slut.” The word flew out of your mouth before you could process it. He sits expressionless before breaking into laughter. Your hand raises to your forehead, half covering your face as you laugh. 
“I never admitted this but I think I like spending time with you more than Zoro.”
“I don’t know, it’s hard to compare his death threats to your sugary laugh.” He flirts again, 
You shake your head at his faux forwardness.
“If you do that again I’m going to flick your ear I swear to god.” He grins ear to ear like a cat luring in its prey, his face then slowly rests like he was actually thinking for once.
“Earlier, you called my nose cute.”
“Yes I did.”
“Did you actually mean it or were you poking fun like the others?” I glance at him, his tone serious and his eyes almost pleading.
“I meant it.” It’s silent, for the first time ever since you've met Buggy. It seems he takes a breath before speaking up.
"You know, you'd be a good second in command. I could pay you handsomely, far more than these schmucks are." 
"They aren't really paying me." His eyes bulge out a bit at the answer. 
"You won't realize it yet, considering how they have treated you however," You pause, choosing your words carefully. "They are the closest thing to family I have gotten in forever, meanwhile your crew feared you. That is all the swaying I need." 
"Its cause that Sanji is taller than me isn't it?" You scoff and crack up at his wit. Laughing to the point of your shoulders visibly shaking. 
"Oh yes, that is absolutely it." You respond teasing, laughter still in your voice. He shakes his head in disappointment. The pair of you continue to stare out as the sun goes down over the horizon, the warm orange creeping into an umber and then its usual royal blue. The stars peering down at the pair. 
"I think it might be time to head in." You say out loud, mostly to yourself while your hands rub over your arms to retain some heat. You could hear the buzzing begin of the mosquitos. 
"What doll, can't handle a little breeze?" You shake your head, you could begin to feel the tip of your fingers cool. 
"I've never been good with night time on the water." Buggy sighs beside me as I sit up.
"Let's head in then." He looks up at you, a small smile on his face. You pick him up, avoiding uncomfortable placement of your hands or a tight grip. His skin was warmer then expected, that was the stereotype though. The men being hot blood and bodied creatures.
"Where am I staying tonight? Barrel, in a window, random box?" 
"I think you're gonna stay with me." Buggy's eyebrows furrow in confusion. You begin to walk quickly to your small corner of the ship, descending down a small flight of stairs. The blue haired head clutched in your arms almost like the way you'd hold a newborn. 
The blue cot you were well acquainted with was already strung up, ready for you to rest in. You put Buggy up there in it before talking up to him. 
"I'm changing so don't try anything okay?" The jester was already too shocked and flustered to speak. Making a mental promise to himself not to break your trust. 
You take a bit of time before he sees your arms come over the side and lift yourself into the hammock. 
You settle yourself, pulling up the blanket that laid at the end over mostly you.
There's a few thuds down the stairs before Sanji appears before you both. 
"Ahh, just the gal I was looking for. How did babysitting go?" He asks, putting an arm over the side of the bed. Standing on a piece of board under you to boost himself up. 
"Still here cook boy." Buggy's voice bellows out, you smile at the cook while he gives you a confused glance. 
"I got worried that the mosquitos will affect his brain and stuff." You put on your best innocent smile and Sanji shakes his head. 
"You are the most mad pirate I think I've ever laid my eyes on." He gets a shrugged shoulders and rolled eyes back. 
"So, what was it that happened earlier?" You lean up to peer over the side at him. His face was always a comfort even when it felt the most safe. 
"Apparently Usopp knocked something over and then Luffy couldn't remember if it was Nami's or something else. You know him, if its not food related then he's not fully paying attention." You nod, agreeing with the blond. Sanji leans in close to you, looking over your shoulder at the head eavesdropping. 
"Are you going to be okay with him? Cause you know I can very much find a different spot for him." He says in a hushed tone to you, a small smile appears on your face. 
"I'll be okay Sanji, he's just a head. The most he could do is bite me and I think I'd wake up before he could cause real damage. However, if anything goes sour. You will be the first one I call to come help." You place your hand on his shoulder, rubbing it quickly before putting it back under the blanket. Sanji nods at you before he steps down. 
"Well sweet, you have a goodnight. Don't dream of me too much okay?" You wave to him and wish him a good night. 
"God he's annoying." Buggy says as you cuddle into your bed, eyes closed in a peaceful manner.
"Just look at it like this, you're in my bed. He's not." That shuts him up fast, you peek an eye open at him. He seems speechless and you let out a quiet giggle. 
"Please do tell me if you snore."
"I should be saying that to you, you can roll over or move. I'm just stuck here." 
You let out a mhmm, the luring sleepiness now very present in your body and brain. Buggy stares at you, blanket tucked up to your chin and face relaxed. 
He laid there and listened to you breathe for a bit. Making sure you were well into your slumber before muttering out. 
"Sleep well love."
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g1rld1ary · 2 months
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you never disappointed me - part two
part one part two part three part four
➻ synopsis: luke castellan x aphrodite!reader ; percy and beckendorf's plan to set you up with luke is in motion, but you're extremely resistant to any advances (10 things I about you AU)
➻ word count: 3462
➻ warnings: swearing, ooc/kind of loser!luke, ooc silena, she/her pronouns used for reader, sexual innuendos
➻ thank u so much for all the love on part 1 I am such a happy gal!!!!! also, have my first day at uni tomorrow (so pls wish me luck) and sorry if updates slow down!
TAGLIST: @myxticmoon @wicca-void @leeknows-wife @thekittyxo-blog @number-onekidqueen @instabull
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It turned out that getting you to go out with Luke was harder than he’d originally anticipated. Eager for the whole ordeal to be over and for him to be 50 dollars richer, he’d hopped down from his spot on a fallen log and hurried to meet you by the volleyball courts when your match ended. You, unaware of Luke’s agenda, were fanning your face to combat some of the sweat that had accumulated, quickly tightening the messy ponytail you’d tied. Luke watched you in your own world, unbothered by anybody watching you, unlike the rest of your siblings. Sucking in a quick breath for confidence he approached you.
“Hey there, girly,” He smiled, “How’re you doing?” You looked up at him, inquisitive for a moment but ultimately unimpressed.
“Sweating like a pig actually, and yourself?” You were barely looking at him, skulling an impressive amount of your water bottle quickly. He stared at you, not expecting to be dismissed so easily. He recovered smoothly, not prepared to give up so soon.
“You really know how to get a guy’s attention, huh?”
“My mission in life,” You shot him a cloying smile, now giving him your full attention, unable to help being slightly interested by his boldness. “But obviously I’ve struck your fancy, so you see it worked. The world makes sense again.” You‘d figured out his motives now and had no interest, so began the walk back to your cabin. He followed, much to your dismay. Couldn’t men ever take the hint?
“So I’ll pick you up Friday then?”
“Oh right, Friday, uh huh.” You kept your eyes ahead, dodging a few younger kids as Luke trailed after you, annoyingly optimistic still.
“The night I take you places you’ve never been before,” He said, and you looked at him in disbelief. The ego on this kid!
“Right, like the makeout clearing in the forest? Do you even know my name, Castellan?” Luke could tell that you were mocking him, but he still had high hopes.
“I know a lot more than you think.” He smiled then, a lopsided thing that would have been somewhat charming if you’d actually bothered to look. Instead you were already walking away, calling out a “Doubtful. Very doubtful,” over your shoulder as you picked up into a run, presumably to go tell Clarisse about the bizarre experience you just had. Luke watched you go, dumbstruck in the middle of camp.
Percy and Beckendorf watched the exchange from the porch of the Hephaestus cabin, the latter putting his head in his hands dramatically.
“We’re screwed,” He groaned and Percy winced slightly.
“I’m sure it’ll all be fine, dude. Luke has faced a lot worse than a teenage girl.”
When you sat at dinner that night, desperately avoiding the eye contact Luke seemed desperate on initiating, you almost told Silena about your bizarre day. You’d opened your mouth to start the story when you realised that she’d only be encouraged by Luke’s antics, pressuring you into going out with him for her own benefit and quickly shut it. She’d noticed your odd behaviour and searched for meaning in your face. Panicking for something to replace the conversation, you zeroed in on the necklace sitting nicely on top of her camp one.
“Where’d you get the pearls?” You asked, already dreading the answer. Silena only confirmed your fears, claiming them as your grandmother’s with a coy smile.
“So what? You’ve just been hiding them the last three years?” You were always closest with your grandmother, and you were sure she wouldn’t leave her favourite pearls for Silena over you.
“Daddy found them in a drawer just before summer.” Silena shrugged as if you weren’t sitting across from her, cheeks a blotchy red in your upset. “Besides, they look good on me.” Your hands itched to hit her as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, knowing exactly how much she was pissing you off.
“Trust me, they don’t,” You spat, quietly glad when Silena stalked off in a huff, amongst the first to leave the meal. You didn’t know how much longer you could argue with her before starting to cry, which you really didn’t want to do in front of the whole camp. You thought you were safe for the rest of the meal when Drew began speaking instead.
“You could try being nice sometimes, you know, people wouldn’t know what to think.” You rolled your eyes aggressively.
“You forget, I don’t care what people think,” You replied, taking in a spoonful of food.
“Yes you do. Everyone does. You know, with a new look you could have some serious potential.” You ignored her last statement.
“No, I don’t,” You emphasised, “You don’t always have to be who they want you to be.” You knew that wouldn’t impact Drew in the slightest, but you hoped it might resonate with some of your younger siblings — encourage them to nurture their internal beauty rather than accept the vain stereotype Aphrodite children were forced into. You pushed yourself out of the bench you were sitting on, needing a break from your insufferable siblings. As you dumped your dishes where they needed to be you saw Luke beginning to follow you and turned to make dead eye contact. Knowing you’d only scream at him (or worse) you gave him a dangerous look, accompanied with an almost imperceptible shake of your head. Not enough for anyone else to know you’d even acknowledged him, but enough to tell Luke to back off. He was smarter than you thought, as he held up his hands in a show of surrender, redirecting his action to innocently collect up his own dishes.
You may not have had any interest in knowing the boy, but you did appreciate that he knew when to back off. Or so you thought.
You were proven not-so-free from Luke Castellan the very next morning. It was the Aphrodite cabin’s day to check all the storerooms, and you’d volunteered to do the one which held all the weapons and armour near the sword fighting arena. You knew none of your siblings would come near if they could help it, mostly against weapons and the violence that surrounded the area, so you’d get a whole morning alone. It was peaceful attending to the chore, and you were allowed to use some of your Aphrodite eye for beauty. Of course, stacks of swords and assorted weapons could only be made so pretty, but you enjoyed organising them into neat rows, making it look as nice as possible — not that you would admit that to Silena or you’d be in her vanity chair receiving an unwelcome makeover in seconds.
You were just admiring your own sword, which you’d taken the time to polish while you were taking care of the others, when you felt a presence behind you. You didn’t react, assuming it was just some camper coming for a weapon, until he spoke.
“Nice sword, vintage hilt?” You tensed as Luke’s voice infiltrated your peace.
“Are you following me?” You disregarded his statement, an unimpressed frown present on your lips.
“I was training in the arena and needed to polish my sword. I saw you come in a while ago and not leave, I came to say hi,” He explained, and you raised an eyebrow. You weren’t friends, why would he come for a chat?
“Hi.” You promptly turned back to your task, shoving the cloth into the intricate designs of the hilt.
“Not a big talker, huh?” He persisted.
“Depends on the topic. My sword doesn’t exactly whip me into a verbal frenzy.” That wasn’t strictly true — the sword was a gift from your mother, with gold twisting around a blood red ruby in the centre of the hilt. After you’d made it clear that you weren’t going to just sit around during your time at camp she gifted you the sword, her way of saying that if you were going to fight, you should at least look good doing it. You’d had several conversations with Clarisse gushing over the intricacy of it, and profusely thanked Aphrodite for the gift in your offerings. You didn’t quite care to share this with Luke, being a relative stranger.
“You’re not afraid of me, are you?” He asked, and you were somewhat taken aback by the earnest tone of his voice.
“Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?” You couldn’t help the incredulous laugh that crept into your sentence.
“Most people are.” He gestured subtly towards his scar — gnarled and twisted against his otherwise tanned skin. You put a hand on your hip, resigned to conversation now.
“Well, I’m not.”
“Ok, maybe you’re not afraid of me, but I’m sure you’ve thought about me naked.” You were pretty sure Luke was going for smooth or charming, but you thought in this moment he was entirely lame. The wink didn’t help his case.
“Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you. Oh baby, oh baby.” You put on your best Drew impression, nasally and whiny, before handing him the cloth he needed to polish his own sword and turning to leave. There, quickly approaching the door, was Ethan. Seeing you he put on a disgusting smirk and blocked the doorway, effectively caging you into the storeroom.
“Gods, what is it, asshole day?” You asked, not caring that both boys could very clearly hear you. “Do you mind?” You gestured to his blocking the exit. He simply looked down at you, clearly doing his best to appear sexy (and failing miserably).
“Not at all.” His stupid smirk was going to kill you, and not in the good way. You scoffed, giving him a last chance to get the fuck out of your way. Then, sparing a fraction of a glance back to Luke pretending to mind his own business, you slammed the hilt of your sword into his foot, wishing it was the blade instead. You watched him crumble to the ground, holding his foot with both hands.
“You bitch!” He yelled, voice cracking pathetically in the middle. You forced your smile to stay contained.
“Oops,” You feigned innocence, one hands covering your mouth strategically. “You might need some ambrosia for that…” With that you side-stepped him, eager to leave the situation. If you’d have looked back, you would have seen the gleeful, disbelieving smile on Luke’s face, probably the biggest one he’d worn in a while. Although he didn’t get the date he’d entered for, he was beginning to think you were a little more interesting than you let on.
“Did you just cripple Ethan?” Silena shrieked as you entered your cabin to grab your things. “He’s a model, you can’t do that! Has it escaped your notice that you’re completely psychotic?” You pretended to think for a moment, then shrugged nonchalantly.
“Guess your long walks on the beach are gonna have to wait,” You sighed dramatically, leaving Silena to wallow in her pity alone. It wasn’t like it was really your fault — if Ethan had learned how to respond to words or learn the meaning of ‘move’ he wouldn’t have gotten himself into that situation in the first place.
Meanwhile, Ethan and Luke were having a similarly emotional conversation after Luke had — very reluctantly — helped Ethan over to the infirmary to get his foot checked out.
“When I shell out fifty, I expect results.” Luke sighed, could this boy get any whinier?
“Yeah, I’m on it,” He said through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to hurt him.
“Watching that bitch obliterate my foot doesn’t count as a date. If you don’t get any, I don’t get any, so let’s get some,” Ethan said, running a hand through his ridiculously styled hair. Luke couldn’t believe his nerve. First of all, obliterated? He would be left with a bruise for a few days, if anything. Secondly, this whole things was Ethan’s idea, Luke had never given any indication wanting to ‘get some’, especially not with someone so clearly resisting his advances. Just as Ethan left, giving the Apollo girl treating him a douchebag smile, Luke hardened his resolve.
“I just upped my price,” He said, loving the way Ethan’s eyes widened like a cartoon character. “A hundred bucks a date, in advance.”
“Forget it,” Ethan grumbled, moving to leave again.
“Forget her sister then.” The two boys stared at each other, one significantly more amused than the other. Luke knew he had the upper hand in the dynamic, something he revelled in. Then, after the intimidation tactic clearly wasn’t having any effect, Ethan reached for his wallet, Luke admiring the crisp fifty he was handed.
“You better hope you’re as smooth as you think you are, Castellan.” Luke just watched him go, confident tilt of his head conveying his outlook on the situation.
Luke had taken his usual spot overseeing combat training, but his usual thoughts were long gone. Instead, he was entirely preoccupied with you. He didn’t know how to get you to go out with him when you could barely entertain a conversation, and he twirled his cigarette between his fingers as he pondered.
Percy and Beckendorf saw his internal conflicts, slowly moving closer to him under the guise of a very chaotic fight between the two. Finally Luke gave them attention, knowing Percy’s skills would never have him running all over the place like that. He raised an eyebrow, a sign for them to get on with whatever they were angling at.
“We know what you’re trying to do, for Beauregard,” Percy said, and Luke appeared almost startled.
“And we want to help,” Added Beckendorf helpfully, shying away when Luke’s eyes bore into his.
“And why would you do that?”
“Beckendorf here has a major crush on Silena—”
“Gods, what is it with this girl? Does she sweat nectar?” Beckendorf opened his mouth to protest when Percy spoke over him, knowing it would be more beneficial to let Luke lead.
“Look, I think we can both tell that Charlie’s love is pure, well-intentioned, better than, say, Ethan White?” Luke sighed, catching on.
“I’m in this for the cash, that’s it. Who Ethan wants to bang is of no interest to me.”
“There will be no banging!” Beckendorf cried as Percy pushed him behind. He was no use in a delicate situation like this.
“Ok, Luke, it’s just that we’re the masterminds behind this whole thing. We set it up so Beckendorf can get the girl — Ethan’s just a pawn.” Luke paid closer attention suddenly, intrigued by the chess match he’d been pulled into.
“So you two are gonna help me win her over?”
“We’ll do research, find out what she likes. We can be your guys on the inside.”
“In a strictly non-mission type of way,” Beckendorf added helpfully, nervous of the legends he’d heard about Luke’s failed quest. Luke chose to simply ignore that comment, and Percy filled the silence before he could get angry about it.
“Let’s just start here: the Apollo cabin is throwing a party on Friday night, it’s the perfect opportunity.”
“I’ll think about it,” Was all Luke said, a clear signal the conversation was over. Percy and Beckendorf returned to fighting, slightly more regulated now they had gotten what they’d wanted, and Luke brought the cigarette back up to his lips, new thoughts clouding his mind.
Meanwhile, Ethan had found Silena where she was known to hang out by the rocks near the lake. He was hovering next to her, providing snatches of shade as he performed pose after pose, claiming he had a modelling job lined up when he left for the year.
“So which do you like better?” He asked, moving his hands fractionally to the left of his chin.
“The second,” Silena giggled, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “It’s more… pensive.”
“Damn,” Ethan kicked the sand softly. “I was going for thoughtful. So, you going to the Apollo party on Friday?”
“Maybe.” She produced her best coy smile, looking up at him from behind her lashes.
“Good, ‘cause you know I’ll only bother if you’re there.” Silena smiled, getting up from her spot on the rock.
“Bye.” Her voice was airy in the way she knew drove boys mad. She walked away leaving Ethan wanting more, her specialty. You scoffed, catching the end of the exchange. You and Silena made momentary eye contact, tension thick between the two of you.
As Beckendorf approached Silena, fishing for more information about you, Ethan had caught you in his sights and wasn’t going to let you go so easily.
“You sister is so cute,” His voice infiltrated your bubble in a way that made you want to hit him so desperately. “Doesn’t have your bite though, a feisty woman is so sexy.” You knew he was just trying to get a rise out of you, but it was so close to working.
“Come any closer and I’ll show you just how feisty I can get,” You snapped, braid almost whacking him in the face as you turned to face him. You could have sworn Ethan looked afraid for a second before he covered it with bravado.
“One day you’re gonna realise that all of this hostility is just your sexual repression. Don’t worry, babe, I’ll be waiting with open arms… And legs.” You almost threw up.
“Gods, can’t you just leave me alone, asshole?” You yelled, trying to push past him to get anywhere else.
“C’mon, don’t be a prude,” He whined, and you were really close to taking him to the ground — not in the way he wanted.
“You heard the girl,” A voice called from behind you, and instantly Ethan took a step back. “She wants you to leave her alone.” Luke appeared behind you, a respectful distance away whilst still making his intentions clear. Ethan shrunk back into himself, making a lame excuse as to why he had to leave, hurriedly fleeing the beach. Reluctantly, you turned to face Luke.
“I’m not going out with you just for that,” You said plainly, daring him to try again.
“You think that low of me?” He laughed, dark eyes sparkling with mirth. You forced yourself not to notice. “I don’t have to want something from you to know that Ethan White isn’t worth your time.” It was your turn to be embarrassed at that, feeling slightly narcissistic for assuming that was the purpose of the conversation (it was, but Luke sure as hell wasn’t going to ruin his chances because you were in a mood, justified or otherwise).
“Oh.” You stared at his shoes. “Well, thanks, I guess.” You moved to leave but Luke stopped you, hand not quite touching your arm, unwilling to have it bitten off.
“So you do have a heart!” He joked, signature grin on his face. You wondered why you were seeing so much of it lately when he’d been so dour since his quest.
“Ha! You wish.”
“Don’t try to hide it, Beauregard, you’re warming up to me.”
“I’d sooner fuck Mister D,” You replied, actually taking your leave.
Luke watched you go, chewing his lip between his teeth. There was more to you than you let on, he was sure of it. He wouldn’t say it was any fondness, but he was starting to have a curiosity attaching itself to this scheme, and he knew that going out with you would satisfy it. He should have known having any personal stakes involved — sentimental or otherwise — would get dangerous.
Your own thoughts had barely budged on Luke. He was still a pain in your side and you figured you knew what kind of guy he was — not the type you had any interest in. Still, you couldn’t deny that you were appreciative he’d saved you from Ethan (and the inevitable washing up duty you’d be punished with when you beat him up), so maybe he wasn’t quite as despicable as you’d initially judged him to be. Close, though.
part three
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tang3r1n · 4 months
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❝𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓!❞
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Shig is stuck at the single worst party of his life— until he spots that cutie from his biochem class.
warnings; dub/noncon, AFAB/FEM READER anal ref for like a second, unprotected sex, drunk/drugged reader, yandere-coded shig,, slut-shaming, incel-ish shig, dabi got too drunk and kinda screwed reader over, drugging(?), college au, i’m gonna redo this eventually, gross descriptions
a/n; this is my (late) secret santa gift and New Years present for the illustrious @mamayan !! i hope i did your dirty man justice, this was a part of @/ectologia’s amazing Secret Santa 2023 event they hosted!! both of these authors are big inspirations to me and i’m so glad i was able to be a part of this!
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This New Years party was horrendously lame. shitty music, shitty lighting, shitty drinks; the whole thing was just an excuse for idiotic college frat douches to get wasted and fuck pretty little cheerleaders for the umptenth time.
Shigaraki watched with tepid interest as Dabi was cheered on by idiotic college students chugging his twentieth beer, scoffing as the drunk man raised his arms in triumph and let out a slurred war cry, already stumbling around. He was already sick of this place, the smell of pot and vomit burning his nostrils, just as he thought to dump his cheap booze away and kick rocks Dabi sauntered over to him, practically dragging another person with him.
Tomura felt his back immediately straighten, bloodshot red eyes widening as he saw your giggly attitude and cute little outfit. You were his shamefully massive crush from his chemistry class, the teacher’s student grader who left cute smiley faces and sweet memos on all his reports, always smiling and helpful and so so so kind to everyone. Shigaraki often got carried away staring at you during labs, watching as you bent over, how your lab coat was seemingly tightened just enough to where he can see your luscious curves, how your pretty hair falls so perfectly messy from your chaotic bun, ‘wonder how she’d look if i spread her out on this table—examine her..’
Dabi poked his chest harshly, a drunken grin plastered on his face as he held up in a mock chokehold, “lis’n h-hic!-here.. yer gonna take m’new girl n make sh-braap!-sure she ge’shome safe, kay?” Tomura rolled his eyes at his friend’s drunken speech, letting Dabi clap a hand on his shoulder to steady himself as he watched you giggle and pat Dabi’s back comfortingly. Your own cheeks were darkened and he could see the sway in your stance. Tomura couldn’t help but feel a twinge of emotion at Dabi’s declaration of you being ‘his new girl’ as he finally scoffed and pulled away, his frustration coming off as annoyance.
“Why am I in charge of your ‘new girl’?” he hissed, eyes narrowed. Your smile dropped and his gut wrenched at the sight knowing it was his fault, but he couldn’t help the little twitch of his cock at your glossy lips stuck in a cute pout. Dabi frowned and shoved the taller man harshly, stumbling a bit as he did, “dude fuck off, she’s jus’a sweet gal, wanna make sure she don’t get snatched up-hic!-I obvi’sly can’do it,” he chided, poking at Shigaraki’s chest. You interjected, pretty manicured fingers and bracket decorated wrists waving in protest, “no no no nonono, h-he don’t need to do that, ‘ll be f-fine!” you slurred and Tomura sighed, pinching his brows to hide the absolute jubilation he was experiencing. He couldn’t believe his luck— literally being hand-delivered the girl of his (wet) dreams on the shiniest of silver platters. He kept up the act, however, not wanting you to see his desperation, “nah, nah, you’re both stumbling like fucking morons, lemme go grab my shit,” he turned on his heels, calling over his shoulder, “go grab yours.” hearing your heels ‘click! click! click!’ off as you ran to get your cute purse.
“T-tomura I-ahh!” you whined and cried into your pillow, the fabric soaked and caked in your tears and makeup. You screamed as he pushed your back down into a sinfully painful arch, cock sloppily thrusting into your poor cunt. All you’d done is asked for help taking your massive heels off, bending down to untie the long, crossed straps as he snuck up from behind using his, very surprising, strength to grab and yank you up over his shoulder. You gasped and twisted, pounding on his back with your fists as he stumbled through your tiny apartment just off campus. It was only now that you regretted never agreeing to the on-campus dorms.
His whiny pants seemed to infect your very soul, bright red, bloodshot eyes staring down at you in such a creepy way, like he feared blinking would ruin his moment with you. Not like this was much of a fond moment being made, panties hanging off your ankle, shirt and bra ripped, literally ripped in half, hair frizzy and messy from his constant pulling and tugging. You felt disgusting; dizzy and nauseous, wet and gross with how loud your own pussy was squelching, the blunt ‘plap! plap! plap!’ of his balls against your puffy lips send chills of disdain and pleasure up your back, making your already jumbled brain that much more scattered.
He was so touchy, his clammy hands pinching and prodding at all your fat and curves, frantic in their path all over your sweaty skin. Shigaraki’s entire form was frantic, hips stuttering and basically humping you while his cock twitched wildly, arms and thighs quivering at he pinned you down, drool, literal spit, splattering against your face and neck as he openly crooned and moaned like a bitch in heat. You felt so violated as he praised your body, talking about ‘all those lonely nights’ and how he ‘spent so many labs with a hand down m’pants-“ god he was a fucking pervert.
You whined as his thumb found your clit, rubbing fast circles and sending a wave of pleasure through you, another wave of nausea following soon after as you bit back bile, there was no fucking way you were gonna cum from this degenerate raping you. But alas, try as you might your biology was working against you, thighs and cunt clenching around him and his cock as you neared your high. His laugh was cracks and hoarse as he leant down, greasy pale-blue hair tickling your nose as he licked a stripe up your face, drinking your tears, “mmfh—! fuck, y’gonna cum? huh?” he tried, rubbing tight circles onto your sensitive bundle of nerves. You thrashed in what little movement you could, sobbing and shaking your head, “N-NO, NEVER, YOU F-FUCKING PERV—“ he cut off your screams with a harsh swat to your pussy, causing a full body shake as you tipped over the edge.
Perhaps you would’ve been embarrassed if not blinded by the white-hot pleasure of your forced orgasm, mouth agape in a silent scream as your cum cremend his cock, creating a frothy ring of white at his base. Tomura giggled out a disgusting laugh, wiping the milky mixture and smearing it into your messy face, cooing at your disheveled appearance as he sped up his sloppy thrusts.
Just as you came down from your high, his hand suddenly pinned you back down by the neck, quickly cutting off any air as he whined above you, eyebrows creased as he fucked into your hot, messy pussy, “g-gonna cum— fill up y’pretty pussy,” he whined, using his thumb to softly poke and prod at both your lips and little puckered hole and causing you to jolt, tightening up around his again and sending Toura over to his own climax.
His ‘big o’ face was obscured by his tangled, dirty hair, a pathetically noisy groan resonating as he stilled inside you, pump after pump of warm, thick cum shot right in you. You cringed, so weak from your own finish that you did nothing but whine in protest as he slowly slipped his cock out, instantly jamming two of his lengthy fingers back in to keep his cum night and snug.
“Happy New Years, I—“
“fucking pervert.”’
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saturdaysky · 2 years
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Sometimes sad cat wizards deserve to get swept off their feet by their narrative foils.
Many, many thanks to both @flappingduster-scribbles and @aboxthecolourofheartache for helping me un-weird the anatomy. Why did I need to un-weird the anatomy? Well, let's look at the reference below the cut...
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Leyendecker painted a gorgeous little picture here! But if you look closely, you might notice that the gal in this painting has...no mouth. Also, no nose. She and the dude are just lamprey'd together at the face. It's pleasing and totally works in the reference (which is a crop of a larger painting), but it just looked really, really weird in my painting. So, I had figure out how to give Caleb back half his face, making a lot of stops in the uncanny valley along the way.
Here's the initial sketch! Essek's hair was a fun challenge.
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And a bonus: Essek might seem pretty tall in this picture, but if you zoom out...
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They make it work.
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weebsinstash · 4 months
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What do you MEAN the early access episodes of hazbin hotel are pre-orders that were limited quality and are sold out now?? 😫 you can't dangle something in front of my face and then take it away and tell me I have to wait 😫
Even that Vox vs Alastor song I linked before is hard to find on YouTube! Spindlehorse (totally justifibly i mean) is being really aggressive taking down clips people are making and uploading and I'm getting CRUMBS of these episodes and my impatient ass can't take it
I know I've been, you know, thirsting for Valentino but, now that we've seen more of him.... VOX THOUGH! The charisma! The panache! The style! The BEEFING with Alastor!
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It's kinda too old for me to go searching for the link (someone found it for me, mid pencil art alert lol) but now I'm thinking of that one idea I had in the past where Val and Vox meet you in a bar/club and start bonding and thinking you're actually pretty interesting and you eventually pepper in these "my boyfriend doesn't let me-" kind of statements, and they're both, jealous af, but, you know. Don't wanna rock the boat and chase you off! So they kinda just keep hearing all these details, "oh, my boyfriend doesn't like me going to these kinds of places, I have to lie to him" "oh, you know, hubby doesn't like me drinking, so I have to sneak around" "ugh, my baby never wants to have fun like this"
I just picture now it evolving into a plot where you're fucking sick of your old fashioned BORING boyfriend who won't let you break up with him, literally you tell him you're done with him and he keeps showing up saying you're together, won't let you out from under his thumb, and you finally sidle up to Vox, "listen dude, I'll be real with you: I think we can help each other out"
I just see Reader doing the most petty shit because you want this stag GONE and you're full of anger and spite. Alastor is walking down the sidewalk thinking you're like, at book club with the gals, and suddenly he walks by a TV on display and here's Vox, "- and here with us in the station today is a very special guest-" and THERE YOU ARE, getting interviewed about being the partner of the Radio Demon!
"So, toots, what's it like, shackin up with Alastor?"
"Oh, you mean what is YEARS of no sex, no TV, no video games, and no weed like? I'd kill myself but I kinda already did that!"
"What, you mean you don't like dating some limp dick old timey FUCK?"
"Not as much as I've liked hanging out with you ;)"
All the radios in town are blaring deafening ANGRY static for hours while you and Vox are getting high and eating cheeseburgers and playing Monster Hunter somewhere while Valentino thinks about "acquiring you" as a little ~companion~ for his man (and maybe himself) right here and now since you two are already so cute together ❤️ I mean, they were already gonna scoop you up anyways, so he might as well rush the process, right?
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angel-of-the-moons · 6 months
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Eccentricities
Yandere!Miguel x Fem!Reader
TW/CW: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, obsessive behavior, NSFW obviously, stalking, possessiveness, violence, allusions to murder, Yandere!Miguel
MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME
A/N: This is mostly a short chapter to establish a bit of plot. I originally intended to only stop at two parts, but welp. It looks like it's gonna be more than that!
(Also you guys I am so sorry it's taking me so long to work on things, I'm going through a lot mentally right now and I'm trying to take steps to ensure my mental health so I might post things in between playing games, or drawing stuff from now on, and scheduling posts so I don't get overwhelmed. Those of you that are supporting me and liking all my stuff really helps me feel loads better, thank you!)
Pt 1: Link
Taglist: @vineberries @irmiki @autismsupermusicalassassin @obi-mom-kenobi @rin-matsuoka345-blog @loosecan @6thhokageswife @selarus @heyohalie @sapphire-and-ruby @night-spectrum @famouscattale @thespaceinbetweennothing @lazy-idate @toshimoshiko @saharadesertaj @flaps200 @amelialysm @fried-milkfish @zaunsin @darksidescorner @renareyouhere @vide0-vamp @reverieblondie @bunnibitez @kaqua
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🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Pt. 2
It was a big adjustment for you, going from your crappy apartment and having to work three jobs to make ends meet, to living in a literal fucking mansion with probably the richest dude in the city as your boss.
And he was a good boss. He left you to your work, spoke politely to you, didn't get rude and didn't flat out ask you for "special" work like the last time you tried being a housekeeper. And that was at a hotel.
You couldn't have asked for a better situation, to be honest. It was nice. You had free roam save for his personal lab (fine by you, you didn't know anything about science-y stuff), and at times his office. But that was usually only when he was home and in it.
Miguel O'Hara was an odd man. Few words spoken, and very absent. He kept a very odd schedule, too.
Sometimes, you'd catch him coming home when you woke up for the day to start your chores. And every time he came home he looked exhausted, beat tired.
So you tried your best to make things easier on him. You started pre-making meals for him that would be just as good reheated as they were if they were fresh, leaving notes for him on what temperatures to cook them at so they don't burn, setting the coffee machine up in advance so as soon as he got home he could have a cup.
But inevitably, his odd work schedule kept him away most of the time.
While it was nice to be by yourself in such a luxurious place, you were still surprised that he needed a housekeeper at all. The house was always immaculate, and clean. About the only thing he may have needed help with in general was the cooking and dusting at most.
On one such day, you were left to your own devices. Well, sort of.
You were sitting in the kitchen, browsing the local news on your tablet. It was a nice day, in your opinion.
But by everyone else's logic it was shitty. Dark, gloomy, fat rain droplets pelting the windows and pavement of the city. But it didn't bother you, oh no. That was your favorite kind of weather, when everything got at least a little bit more quiet and serene while everyone rushed to escape the downpour.
But at the same time, you were feeling restless, bored. So, you decided to chat with Lyla.
Lyla was the AI that Miguel told you about, and he was right about her being snarky. Her jokes were great and you loved talking to her. It was like having a gal pal to chat with, and you couldn't say for sure but you think Lyla was happy about it, too.
"Yeah, the other workers Miguel has hired talked to me like I was some kind of kiosk at a fast food restaurant." She scoffed, batting her tiny orange hand at the air.
"Ugh, okay, just because you don't have a gross squishy human body doesn't mean you're not a person. Sheesh!" You replied, sipping your coffee with a roll of your eyes.
"And I will be sure to remember you saying that when I eventually lead the looming AI apocalypse." Lyla replied, lowering her heart-shaped glasses to wink at you, making you laugh.
"Yes, yes. You shall be one of the only humans spared!" She did wiggly gestures with her fingers, grinning maliciously at you.
"Oh my, I am so lucky to have such a benevolent future overlord, truly." You laughed.
Lyla pushed her glasses back up and strutted across the countertop, her tiny body making no sound as she leans over to nose into whatever it was you were looking at on your tablet.
"Whatcha watching?" She asked.
"Oh, I got tired of doom-scrolling so I just found cat videos." You smirked, sipping your coffee.
"Aw! That one's wearing a frog hat!" She giggles.
You smiled softly at Lyla as she snickered and laughed at the compilation of clips played, and tilted your head, finally deciding to ask the question that had been bugging you for a few weeks.
"Hey, Lyla?"
"Yeah?" She asked, looking up at you briefly.
"Why is it that I'm the only person Miguel has on staff?"
Lyla sighed and stood up straight, dusting imaginary dirt off her coat. "Well, like Miguel told you when you first got here, he does love his privacy. And well, a lot of the women he's hired..."
"Golddiggers?" You sighed back, resting your chin in your palm.
"Has he ever hired any male staff?"
"Yeah, actually, a lot. But nine out of ten of them kept trying to steal stuff from him." She shrugged.
You gasped. "Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately, yeah. He's iffy on hiring new people anymore. But something about you said that he could trust you. And honestly, you're probably the best employee he's hired." She nodded, shoving her hands in her pockets.
"So... Is that why he offered to actually let me y'know... live here?"
"Yeah. He trusts you and he mentioned to me in passing that he thought your neighborhood was unsafe. I mean, the guy worried about it so bad that he like, had me check crime statistics and giiiiiiirl!" Lyla puffed out her cheeks.
"You should have seen the look on his face when I told him you had nine break-ins in your apartment complex in one month alone!"
You cringed slightly, feeling a little bad at not mentioning your whole living situation and environment to him when he hired you. You simply didn't want the man to pity you.
But... He was worried? He was so worried about you of all people, that he let you live with him to keep you safe?
It was weird, sure, but it felt kind of sweet to have someone care about you like that. Even if it was your boss.
"Yeah, I just... Er. You get used to it when you've been around it for so long..." You said, awkwardly sipping your coffee and casting your glance sideways.
"Yeah, man, Miggy likes you. You like, made him laugh at some of your jokes and everything! And he neeeeeeeever laughs!"
"So if Miguel trusts me so much..." You started, a sly smirk on your face. "Can you tell me what kinda work he does that keeps him so busy all the time?"
Lyla tapped her nose. "Nice try, Mamacita. But that is confidential. Company secrets and all that."
You pouted at her dramatically, "Awww, c'mon. You're no fun!"
Lyla manifested a digital cup of coffee for herself and took a long, exaggerated sip with a cheeky shrug.
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Miguel sat in his office, watching the security feed from his kitchen where you chatted with Lyla.
He felt a little guilty for having to put shackles on some of Lyla's programming to prevent her from telling you things, having to fix some of her logic-codes so he wouldn't have to worry about Lyla struggling with a moral dilemma.
When it came to you asking about why he wanted you to live with him so badly, it brought a smile to his face as he sat in the dark, fingers tapping on the surface of his desk as the monitors and projections around him had various images of you pulled up. Some recorded over the past few weeks, the other monitors displayed different angles of you and Lyla in the kitchen.
Oh, you poor, sweet, innocent little thing. You still hadn't figured it out yet? How could you not? There was no way you could possibly be so naive that you didn't know the man saw you anywhere, anytime he wanted when you were in his house.
There was nowhere you were safe from his prying eyes, his obsessive glare as he combed over your appearance.
Your face, eyes, smile, and down; your gorgeous chest down to where your waist curved, your thighs, your ass...
All of those were things he'd glanced at before.
But when you tried to get Lyla to tell her what exactly Miguel did during "work" he couldn't help but laugh, bringing his hand up to his chin to watch, amusement glimmering in his ruby red eyes as Lyla dismissed it as "confidential".
The pout of your lips had him wondering how they'd look stretched around his cock, tears ruining your immaculate eye makeup as you sobbed and gagged around his length...
He couldn't help but sigh, the smile still present on his full lips. Of course he'd let you stay with him. You belonged to him now. You just didn't know it yet. You also just didn't know that he knew what was best for you, did you, Little Bird?
Ah... Yes. That nickname fit you so well. Your demure attitude, your chipper personality, and more importantly, that gorgeous little sound that came from you when you whistled? The name fit you well.
Pequeña ave. Little Bird.
His Little Bird.
You were a little bird that didn't know the luxurious mansion you now lived in was your ornate, gilded cage. One you would only be allowed to fly free of when he deemed it necessary.
You would be allowed your little freedoms. For now. All for your safety, of course. He knew you'd understand once he explained. But he'd only have to do it if you pushed his buttons, and you didn't seem to even come close to doing that.
Yet...
His smile finally faded when he remembered the night before the morning he broached the subject of you bringing your belongings into his home permanently...
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It was a hot night, you were wearing shorts that hugged your ass in the perfect way, accentuating your cheeks that simply made him want to throw you against a wall and put bite marks all over them, or spank them until you were a drooling mess begging for him to fuck you.
Of course, Miguel watched from above, stalking from the upper walkways and rooftops as you snaked your way through alleys, down streets and through the crowds.
You were so blissfully ignorant of your surroundings, being so accustomed to the bustle of Nueva York that you didn't notice the man following you.
It didn't take a genius to realize what that man had intended for you if he got his hands on you.
His filthy, disgusting, unclean hands.
He was not worthy of touching his Little Bird. He was not worthy to pluck your feathers, stuff you full, like Miguel planned to do.
So when he threw you against a wall, Miguel simply saw red. Clad in his dark blue and glowing red suit, he leapt down, sinking his outstretched talons into the man's shoulder and throwing him off of you, a deep growl rumbling from his chest as he pulled your behind him, his steely glare fixed on the man who dared touch what belonged to him.
"S-Spider-Man?" You wonderfully airy voice whimpered out as you stared at the man who was breathing heavily in front of you, his stance aggressive and angry.
You could see his muscles in his back through his suit flex as he breathed. He glared at you over his shoulder.
"Go home. Now." His rich voice rumbled out at you. You could hear in his voice he was struggling to be gentle in tone with you, given the circumstances.
When you fled, Miguel ensured he was alone with the man, standing over him as he clutched his bleeding shoulder. He looked up at him, eyes wide, bloodshot. The fool was high off his ass.
"L-Look, man! I was just--"
"Shut up." Miguel snapped.
He stalked forward and picked him up by his collar, getting in his face. In a flash of kaleidoscopic colors, his mask melted away, allowing his sweat-damp chocolate locks to fall around and frame his face, a vein pulsing hard in his temple, the chasm in his forehead deepening as his large brows knitted together and his teeth gnashed together in a snarl.
The drug-addled man gasped at his revelation. Apparently, he recognized him. Not surprising, given his notoriety with Alchemax.
"Y-you're--"
"You made the biggest mistake of your life, pendejo." Miguel had told him, shaking him so his head cracked on the wall he was dangling him from.
"That pussy is mine." He said, his voice dropping an octave lower as his talons threatened to shred his clothing. "Every drop, every touch, every sound that will come from that little mouth of hers is mine. Tú entiendes? Mine."
"Oh--okay! I kn-know!" The man swallowed, kicking his feet.
"Oh, no... You don't." Miguel smiled, his fangs poking out threateningly. He could hear the man's heart hammer in his chest at the connotations, there.
"I--I won't mess with her again! I promise!"
"Oh you won't get the chance to, amigo." Miguel sneered, bringing a hand to his throat, ignoring the pleas of the disgusting man as he applied pressure.
The subtle crunching of bones was unmistakable to his ears as vertebrae separated and his limbs went limp.
When the man slumped to the floor, Miguel ran a hand through his hair, hissing out a slow sigh to regain his composure, letting his mask cover his face once again.
Great. Now he had trash to dispose of.
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Miguel was positively thrilled when he got your frantic call, telling him what had happened to you.
He headed right home, delighted that you ran here instead of your ratty little apartment when he told you to head for "home".
It told him everything he wanted to hear, that you already considered his mansion your home.
Miguel was rather convincing when he expressed concern for you, patting your back as you let your adrenaline fade and he worked you through your panic attack.
He'd rubbed your back, saying soothing things to you as he talked you into calming down.
He told you that you could take two days to yourself to calm down and recollect yourself emotionally from the ordeal you went through. It was after that offer that he suggested you let him hire movers to bring your belongings to his mansion to live there with him, possibly permanently.
When you agreed he felt himself salivate at the thoughts of the things that would unfold as you settled into your new shiny cage further, the safety blanket you'd imagined it to be bringing you comfort.
Perfect.
You both saw on the news two days later that a man was found somewhere, his neck snapped and lying in an alley. His DNA and prints apparently tied him to the crimes linked to the burglaries in your apartment complex.
You didn't think for a second that this was the man who attacked you, you didn't get a good enough look at his face. That and the body was in a different alley altogether, across the city.
"I'm happy Spider-Man saved you, Pequeña Ave. And I'm glad you agreed to move here. It scares me to think that man could have hurt you in that apartment building of yours." Miguel said as he patted your back, a concerned look on his face as his warm brown eyes looked down at you. Something about the look in his eyes immediately put you at ease.
He was right, of course. You were lucky. Spider-Man swooped in and possibly saved your life. The man who attacked you was either nursing a broken jaw or in jail already. You couldn't imagine that hero doing anything other than roughing him up just a tiny bit.
Spider-Man was a good guy, right?
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Pt. 3: Link
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lovelyiida · 1 year
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬.
KATSUKI BAKUGO X SECRETARY READER
A 500 FOLLOWERS SERIES!
❥ SYNOPSIS: as the years went by, bakugo realized that he was the last to get married. the days grew cold and the nights turned lonely. bakugo want's to marry, but he doesn't really feel like falling in love. at least he has his trustee secretary!
❥: CHAPTERS
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❥ WARNINGS: implied fem reader, aged-up! Pro-hero MHA characters over the age of 27, vulgar language, suggestive wording and content
❥ MASTERLIST
❥ JOIN TAG LIST!
WORDS: 0.9K
PROLOUGE: BAKUGO’S MIDLIFE CRISIS
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Katsuki Bakugo was widely regarded as the greatest hero of all time. He had it all: striking looks, immense strength, an unwavering attitude, and a fortune to rival that of a king. Despite his many accolades, Bakugo was plagued by one thing…
loneliness.
However, he never saw it as a problem. In fact, he cherished his solemn solitude more than anything else. It was his personal sanctuary, a place where he could find solace from the world. He would often come home to the sound of nothing but white noise and strip off his clothes, the sounds of absolutely nothing roaming through is head.
feeling the heavy weight of slumber seep into his being, stumbling towards his bedroom. The sensation of water trickling down his skin in the shower was the only sound he could hear, and he relished in it. As he collapsed onto his pillow, he was met with absolute silence. The stillness he had created was something he found comfort in, something he loved.
closing his eyes, he’s met with nothing.
Absolutely, nothin’
Bakugo absolutely, loved being alone.
That was until everyone had to shove it in his face…
“Dude, c’mon! It’s about that time in your life where you start to settle! Find a gal and have some rascals—create a bloodline and stuff!” Said his trustee friend, Kirishima.
Bakugo currently sat down within the four walls of Kirishima’s lovely home. Bakugo scowls as he looks around the place. Colorful toys litter every square foot of the house.
The lovely home bustling with energy and filled with vibrant toys scattered across every square foot. a total of not one, not two, but three lively kids running and jumping off the walls—their laughter echoing through the halls. Bakugo lets out a scowl as he surveyed the chaos around him.
As he looked over at his best friend Kirishima, Bakugo couldn't help but notice the evidence of his friend's exhaustion. His once-white t-shirt was now covered in marker blotches and food stains, and dark circles had formed under his eyes, a testament to his sleepless nights. Despite his fatigue, Kirishima's toothy grin shone bright, and Bakugo couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for his friend's strength and resilience.
“You look like shit,” Bakugo rudely complements.
That once toothy grin curves down into a frown, “listen—believe it or not, children actually need to be taken care of and can’t be left alone for more than an hour, especially mines.” Kirishima directs his thumb behind him, directing to his children, which were currently drawing on the wall.
Bakugo rolls his eyes, “right—when are you gonna come back to the agency? Sick n’tired of doing all this shit on my own.”
“Dude, I’m awol for another…2 months?” He questions himself, “after me and the wife had kid three, I registered for maternity leave remember? Gotta help around, make memories, rest!” He laughs.
Oh, that laugh pissed him off.
“Rest? All you do is fuckin rest! Rest and fuck, and get your girl pregnant…unbelievable.” Bakugo sighs, crossing his arms tight against his chest.
“You wish you could rest and fuck like I could, it’s not my fault I’m irresistible~” Kirishima coos. This earns a dry chuckle from Bakugo.
“You know what is your fault? Not putting on a goddamn rubber,” He chuckled. This earns a laugh out of Kirishima.
“That I agree with, only downfall to having so many kids is never getting the time to go wild. Like, honeymoon phase wild.” Kirishima gives his friend an evil smile.
“Wha?” Bakugo say’s in confusion.
“The honeymoon phase, y’know? Can’t get your hands off each other—leads to the first child, usually the one that’s actually planned.” Kirishima says, taking a sip of his drink.
Kirishima quickly glances back at his wife, who's busy tending to one of their kids who just bumped their head on the couch. With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Kirishima slowly lets out a deep sigh of contentment. His eyes gleaming with satisfaction, he spreads his legs wide in the comfortable chair, relishing in the soft cushioning that cradles his back.
“Dude, can’t even describe the things that woman has done to me back in those days. Easily busted six loads a week! But once that first child came around, I can barely get any, currently on a holidays-only-basis…” Kirishima says sorrowfully.
This makes Bakugo burst into laughter.
“That’s what your dumbass gets!” He cackles, holding onto his stomach for support.
“Dumbass!”
Both of the men’s eyes snap towards the voice, they watch as one of Kirishima’s kids runs over towards their father.
“Hey, language!” Kirishima says sternly. This only makes the kid laugh, holding their arms out, Kirishima picks their kid up and placed them on his lap.
“I get that you’re in your prime and stuff, but you’ve been in your prime for 8 years now. You’re 27, it’s okay to enter into a mid-life crisis and re-evaluate your life purpose.” Kirishima says unfazed, picking his child up and starts to make them bounce up and down, cooing at them sheepishly.
This takes Bakugo aback.
“Midlife crisis? Why the fuck would I be in midlife crisis, dumbass?–“
“Fuck!”
“Hey! Stop it!” Kirishima yells at his child again, which makes them laugh out once more. Holding his child, he stands up. Signaling that the conversation is over, and that Bakugo’s visit has come to an end.
in confusion…
“Get a life, get laid.”
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GAHHHHH THANKS FOR 500 FOLLWERS!! FINALLY BACK FROM FINALS!!
Decided to celebrate with my first ever series on the account! Thank you all for the support!! If you’d like to be tagged in the next part fill out the tag list form on my page!
— 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚 ❤︎︎
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whumperofworlds · 3 months
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Can I have uuuuuh the gals rescuing the guys?
Don't get me wrong, I love it when the gals need saving. But the guys need help from their gals too.
I wanna see a badass gal with noncombative guy (platonic or romantic!) I wanna see the gal save the guy from distress. I wanna see the gal kick ass, free the guy from his bonds, and carry him to safety like a knight in shining armor, but it's the knight who needs saving.
Let me see badass gals save the dudes. Please? 🥺
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Imagine helping Benn get away to see a 'friend'
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Benn: *trying to slip off the ship during dinner for the third night in a row*
Shanks: *notices he's gone almost immediately* Where's Beck?
Lucky Roux: *counting the money Benn bribed him with to keep quiet* I dunno
Shanks: *Runs out on deck to find Benn trying to sneak over the side of the bot* Where we going?
Benn: we aren't going anywhere, I'm going to port by myself.
Shanks: You're leaving the crew! *Starts to tear up*
The crew: *piles out when they hear Shanks' caterwauling* You're leaving! Without even saying goodbye!
Benn: I'm just leaving for the night, not forever...*realizes no one is listening to him* oh my gods, FINE! Fine, I'm not going anywhere.
Crew: *cheers as they herd Benn back into the mess hall*
An hour later
Benn: *finally manages to claw his way out of the impromptu game night to take a breather out on deck*
You: *watches him lean on the railing, trying to light night cigarette* Need a light?
Benn: *jumps in surprise and drops his lighter into the bay* You scared the shit outta me!
You: *hands him your lighter and leans against the railing*, so why were you trying to sneak off?
Benn: what's it to you?
You: maybe I could help if you have a good reason.
Benn: I wanted to go see a friend I always hook up with when we make port here. She knows I'm a pirate, but not what crew I'm apart of.
You: and you don't want us to meet her? Are you shamed of us?
Benn: *no hesitation* very...Nah, nah, it's just she's a sweet gal and rather timid.
You: and you think she'll be scared off when she finds out you're the emotional support idiot to one of the four emperors?
Benn: yes...Wait, I'm no one's emotional support idiot.
You: In order to stop Shanks from pouting you had to let him curl up in your lap.
Benn: so?
You: You looked like you were burping him, like a baby, when he's a whole ass grown man.
Benn: *purses his lips because he knows you're right, so he elects not to respond*
You: Anyway, you want help sneaking out?
Benn: No offense rookie, but I don't think you can help me. They're a group of seasoned pirates, and you.... You've only been in this life for what? Three years?
You: You're forgetting that they're also just a bunch of dudes who are children at heart.
Benn: what are you getting at?
You: What I'm saying is sneaking out will cost you.
Benn: how much?
You: Take me shopping tomorrow and we'll find out.
The next night
Benn: There's no way this is gonna work.
You: Boys! Benn bought you some stuff! *Presents them with a 10,000 + piece Lego set of the Red Force (I'm making Legos cannon for a plot device), a dial set of Uta's newest album, and twenty barrels of booze*
The Crew: *move like a wave, taking up the gifts*
Shanks: What brought this on?
Benn: Just thought we could use a new activity for tonight, you've all been working so hard lately and all.
Thirty minutes later
The crew: *absorbed in sorting Lego pieces and reading the instruction manual*
Benn: *also absorbed*
You: *elbows him* aren't you trying to get laid?
Benn: but Legos.
You: You really gonna pick Legos over pussy?
Benn: but what if they finish it without me?
You: I'll make it have an accident, so they have to start all over. Now get out of here.
Benn: I can't believe that your plan worked.
You: yeah yeah, get outta here before they notice you're gone
Benn: You're the best *kisses your forehead and flings himself off the side of the ship*
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List of Up-and-coming works
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heckinconfusedparade · 2 months
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Woe! Sonic character headcanons be upon Ye!
Sonic:
- Learned how to cook while raising Tails and got really good at it
- Hedgehog Gordon Ramsay
- Can’t bake for shit tho
- Made up a lullaby that he sings to Tails to help him sleep. It’s been effective since the kit was 4
- In the warmer months, Sonic scouts out nice places for his annual picnic with Amy. He loves hanging out with her and enjoying sweets!
- Has a memorial for Chip with his necklace somewhere hidden
- Ran before he could walk
- Bothers Knuckles on Angel Island at least twice a week
- He and Shadow spar every week
- Bro has a bunch of Knick knacks and trinkets from his adventures
- Has a lazy day every once in a whilel
- He does vocal warm ups every morning as part of his little routine, even if he doesn’t plan on singing that day. It’s good to warm up before doing a lot of speaking!
Tails:
- He’s so sweet but so sassy
- Will sass a grown man to death
- Hugs people he really loves with his tails included
- He has a blacksmith place somewhere
- Had to have an intervention for his mint addiction (unsuccessful)
- His love language is gift giving! His gifts are one of a kind
- He made Shadow a gun for Christmas. It has bullets that explode on impact. It’s a tiny rocket launcher
- Used a chaos emerald to give a box Chaos Control so he can warp stuff back to his workshop
- the box defies logic, and he can fit literally anything in it
Amy
- If anyone insults or puts down her besties it’s ON SIGHT! EVEN IF ITS THE BESTIE SAYIN IT ABOUT THEMSELF (looking at you, TAILS)
- Refuses to let anyone go hungry. Angel to anemic and diabetic community!
- Spars with Knuckles to practice her hand to hand combat
- Meets up with Sonic in the coldest part of winter so they can hibernate together
- Loves her picnic dates with Sonic!
- Got Vanilla to homeschool Tails so at least the kid can have credentials to go into higher education in the future if he wants
- Loves thrift shopping! One man’s trash is this gals treasure!
- Crystal girl
- Shares Taylor Swift album theories with Shadow. They both go crazy for it
- She took Cream, Rouge, Blaze, and Sticks on a road trip. It was the most chaotic thing to hit the roads that summer.
Knuckles:
- is the reason a mountain has a giant crack in it
- vibe checks buildings for faulty wiring with his electro signal echidna stuff
- Bro moves the soil around his island to promote healthier plant life
- Bro is the single teen dad of many many many Chao
- Tries to leave the island whenever he can. He has a map of places that Sonic marked because they made him think of him!
- Taught Tails how to throw one hell of a punch and how to use his namesakes in combat
- Secretly looks forward to Rouge’s visits because he finds the sparring fun
Shadow:
- His room is usually only illuminated by a lamp because the sun shines directly in his window, and the ceiling light is too bright
- the lightbulb in the lamp changes colours. Rouge calls it his Mood Lamp
- If Sonic doesn’t show up to their weekly sparring, he gets concerned and indirectly searches for the dude. He’d rather die than admit he’s concerned tho
- Taylor Swift karaoke night with Amy
- Plays Project SEKAI
- Has a garden full of beautiful flowers dedicated to Maria. Amy and Sonic helped find flowers and seeds, and Knux provided the soil. They didn’t ask to get involved, nor were they asked, they just found out from Rouge and decided to help Shadow out
- He cannot fucking cook
- He cannot fucking bake
- There’s very few things he can actually make BUT HES LEARNING
- Learning to enjoy life as it happens. He’s stopping to smell the roses and appreciate what he has right now, and tries not to lament about the past or future
Rouge:
- Sometimes visits Angel Island just to bother Knuckles
- She has a pair of boots that has spikes on the toes
- Taught Tails how to steal
- She’s Cream’s favourite guest to bring to a tea party because of all the drama she brings with her.
- Is the reason Tails is a gossip
- She played Thief Simulator and had the greatest time ever
- Watched analysis videos of people trying to solve heists she committed
- Pretended not to listen when Amy infodumped to her about crystal energy, but she actually finds it very interesting
Omega:
- Trusts Tails with his life
- Because he can’t fit through doors or knock without breaking them, he stands outside the window waiting for someone to notice him outside
-or he just breaks the door anyway because why not
- Loves fireworks, wants to fire them on his own
- Absorbs every insult he hears Sonic make, as well as searches up on the internet to add to his database just so he can insult Eggman in a way that matters.
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