#edward cullen critical

[macgyvertape]

My roommate and I got super trashed last night and watched Twilight Breaking Dawn part 1, really just to snark on the wedding and other twilight style weddings on youtube.

Anyway In the midst of a lot of cringey wedding toasts Bella's dad gets up and says "Edward will be a good husband. I know this because I'm a cop and I know things" to which I burst out laughing because of how unintentionally ironic it is.

Like Edward's a shitty romantic partner so of course a cop would think he'd be a good husband (look up 40% cops to learn more)!

#vampire movies #just to cover my bases here #cw alcohol #cw abortion #cw abuse #edward cullen critical #twilight #twilight critical #anti twilight #like if a cop things someone would be a good husband #thats a red flag

[spacerockfloater]

Greetings loved ones, since I’ve made my disdain for Rhysand well known in the Tumblr ACOTAR community, I’ve decided I might as well come forward and shit on the OG Dark Mind-Reading Evil Male Love Interest.

That’s right Edward Cullen, I’m coming for you.

“Really Eris? Making Twilight posts in 2024?” I hear you all asking me in unison and to that I have to say “Fuck yeah!”. I’ve been hyperfixating on Twilight lately, so this is the perfect time for me to reach a new all time low.

Besides, my hatred for fictional men is what brought you to this blog. I’m just giving you what you came here for, so stay tuned!

#acotar #twilight #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #anti rhysand #acotar critical #twilight critical

[vicontheinternet]

Friendly reminder alice isn’t as good as y’all make her out to be she willingly sought out a man who she knew was a former confederate and romantazied him. She was born in 1901 she’s mostly likely racist too. She’s been racist to Jacob.

#the twilight renaissance #the twilight saga #twilight critical #alice cullen #mary alice brandon #she’s not the better option for bella #she’s just as controlling as Edward #I know most of the ppl on this side of tumblr know this #but ppl still uwu her #they infantilize her #this isn’t necessarily anti alice #you can still like alice while recognizing that she not who you thought she was #you can empathize with the things she’s been through and still recognize that she *might* be racist and has been

[lynnedwardswrites]

The most disappointing thing about Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun was how little Edward's psyche and internal world were affected by the ability to know people (generally and individually) at a much deeper level than anyone else.

imo, Stephenie took an incredibly reductivist view of who people are in their own heads, and Edward's absolute disinterest in the people around him was both surprising and off-putting to me. I think he would have been a much more interesting character if he was actually deeply, obsessively interested in people, had a really robust model for categorizing people according to different patterns of thought, and was constantly anxious about his ability to identify and manipulate problem people perfectly and expertly on the fly.

Because Edward SHOULD have (for interesting story purposes) gotten his entire sense of value and belonging in the Cullen clan—despite his wretched past—FROM those skills and the way they benefited the group. It makes sense, with how melodramatically tortured and self-loathing he is, that he would have to have an equally self-loathing workaround that let him disbelieve every loving thought that's ever been absently directed at him, maybe attributing his family's generosity and good feeling to a base instinct to keep around people who increase chances of survival. He should believe people love him Because of his ability to protect. We even see this pattern in how he'll later interact with Bella, hating himself constantly for every ounce of danger he puts her in, sabotaging their relationship when the risk becomes too great that she'll realize what a shit choice he is and leave him for it.

And then of course there's the fact that reading EVERYONE'S MIND ALL THE TIME should drive you a little bit mad. You get 100x, 1000x the information listening to a conversation between friends than anyone else. You know people in ways they don't even know themselves. Everyone is Highly Predictable because you are highly obsessed with paying enough attention to make sure they are predictable, and you do not experience relationships like anyone else on the planet. Trust is not a thing, because you have All The Information. Not knowing how someone will react is not a thing, because you have A Humanity's Worth of Predictive Data On How Other People Like This Person Have Reacted. You're not a person, you're God In A Person's Body, But If You Slip Up No One Will Love You, and it is just frankly hard to find people who relate.

So with all that in mind, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY FUCKING AWESOME to watch him, after discovering he can't read the new girl's thoughts, become first frustrated then manically, tortuously OBSESSED with Bella because she threatens absolutely everything he believes about himself. What if she's dangerous and I can't warn them? What if they realize I'm a fraud???

So he starts stalking her, talking to her, trying frantically to figure out what the physical and verbal cues are that signal all the mental patterns in people that he knows like the back of his hand, searching desperately for the warning signs he can't read in her mind, like someone who's gone unexpectedly blind. Complicated, of course, by the fact that HOLY SHIT SHE SMELLS DELICIOUS. And slowly, slowly, as he interacts with a human being like HE'S a human being for the first time, he starts to fall in love with her and how she makes him feel. He falls in love with her because she and she alone can make him human again.

The second most disappointing part of Midnight Sun was that Edward fell in love with Bella because "she's a good person" according to an equally boring, reductive, Mormon-culture-inspired view of feminine goodness. I mean, in the text, all she does is make a single comment about how comicon is Pretty Cool Actually™️. As though nerds who go to comicon are a particularly risky group of people to stand up for, as though there are not dozens of people at this school who wouldn't have said the same thing, who are not, at the very moment the interaction happens, also Being Nice™️.

No, no, no, no, fellow vampire fans. Edward should have fallen in love with Bella because, for the first time in his entire vampiric life, Edward is able to interact with another human the way people are meant to. Without knowing everything before it's said. Without knowing her so well from a clinical, objective point of view that he knows what she's going to think before she thinks it. He should have fallen in love with her because she IS normal in a way that's so rare for him that it's precious. Because she can change her mind and he won't see it coming. Because he can't break down every little flaw in her mental reasoning and just has to take her at her word. Bella represents Normalcy for a man who cannot have normal relationships, who is completely isolated and alienated from humanity by the voices in his head. Loving her because she was Nice™️ was just utter bullshit. He loves her because She Contributes Positively To His State Of Being.

In other news, this headcanon is also why I was absolutely devastated by the epilogue ending of Breaking Dawn, in which Bella learns to let Edward into her head. It felt like a punch to the gut for Edward. Like "no, wait, you don't understand how important it is to me that I DON'T see, that I am always able to feel human around you, without the clinical monster taking over. That I Have to trust you." That's what made the whole relationship for him, imo. Edward made her a vampire, and she made him human.

(Of course, I understand that this narrative would have broken the "hot guy is obsessed with normal girl and she has to make absolutely no effort and is under no pressure to be or do anything to continue to be deserving of that love" fantasy, but, well... That's why Midnight Sun should never have been written in the first place.)

#midnight sun #twilight #stephenie meyer #literary analysis #literary critique #literary criticism #edward cullen #bella swan #fight me

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

The way I feel about Anakin Skywalker is very similar to how I feel about Edward Cullen.

#bear with me... #I hate them with a burning passion #I consider them to be two of my all time favourite characters #they are idiots #they are the most disastrous men of all time #I cannot stand them #I love them #I will criticize absolutely everything about them #I will defend them from anyone who criticizes them incorrectly #I think their respective wives are insane for choosing to be with them #I love watching them be dumb #I love watching them be insane #I love watching them be the most melodramatic assholes who ever lived #and i just love making fun of them #idk man I just find characters who in universe are seen as super cool #but in reality are nothing but self loathing losers #to be super entertaining and fun to think about #anakin skywalker #star wars #darth vader #padme amidala #edward cullen #twilight #the twilight saga #bella swan #star wars prequels #attack of the clones #kate's post

[c3dricsluv]

I cannot get over the hypocrisy of Bella swan. Like, she finds out Jacob imprinted on her daughter, and her response is "She's a baby".

Bitch, at least he didn't live an entire LIFETIME before he met her, need I remind you that edward is 88 years older than you, if not 89? Like bitch stfu

#bella cannot criticize anyone for age gaps #she had a point but she was basically calling edward out too #bella swan #edward cullen #jacob black #renesmee cullen #twilight #the twilight saga #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #Midnight sun

[louisetaylor]

"Edward Cullen watches Bella sleep" "Edward is protective and possessive" "Edward is older than her"

Ahem.

Edward Cullen is a FANTASY. Made up by a WOMAN. WOMEN, older and younger, are ALLOWED to DREAM of a GENTLE GUARDIAN ANGEL watching over them. Edward is not a stalker p3d0, nor does he represent one. WOMEN can and do ACKNOWLEDGE that dangerous men exist. Yet still we can DREAM of protection and adoration from someone beautiful, powerful, and kind. This is not NAIVE. This is HOPEFUL.

I'm getting real tired of the Edward Cullen hate. When ppl criticize him, they're not criticizing a Bad Dangerous Man, or a Dangerous Literary Product of Patriarchy. They're criticizing a woman's FANTASY. We're laughed at for wanting something good in real life, and then a dream of ours is severely disapproved of.

Edward Hate feels restrictive, prudish, and puritanical. How stupid do you think I am? *reads Twilight* Okay, I'm going to let a guy stalk me now BECAUSE I'M DUMB.

Oh, and one more thing: Edward was emotionally and physically 17 when he married Bella. She was mentally and physically 18. So SHE'S the one sexing a minor.

#twilight #edward cullen #edward #bella #bella swan #bella cullen #bella swan cullen #edward x bella #feminism #female fantasy #edward cullen hate #long post #literary criticism criticism

[starlight-bread-blog]

"I've stalked you to protect you against your consent".

#To be fair #Felix isn't as nearly as bad as Edward Cullen. They're both god awful but let's actually compare cause it's fun. #Felix is actually speaking to her #Edward just orders her “Don't leave” – point for Felix. #And #after he's flat out told he's being a creep #he actually apologizes. #Bella never actually called him out in the scene #so we don't know how he'd react. #However #Half a point. Lastly #point for Edward – he showed up when he was actually needed. Felix just... kidnapped her. #And yeah #they're not comparable. Felix is a teenage sentimonster and Edward is a 109 vampire. #But 1) this is a joke about the horrible recurring theme #and 2) still HORRIFIC This is still shown as just a silly mistake. #The show is telling us “if he's a stalker that's not a deal breaker”. The parallel to the real world is unacceptable. #anti twilight #anti edward cullen #twilight critical #tw stalking #miraculous ladybug critical #anti miraculous #anti miraculous ladybug #anti felix #anti feligami #anti felix fathom

[the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis]

(i saw a take i disagreed with and i am being so brave and making my own post about it)

i don’t think that edward “learned his lesson” at the end of new moon, and bella would have every right to be upset with him, even though she canonically isn’t.

i understand the urge to say, “the suicidal character decided to give life another chance, he shouldn’t be yelled at.” but the way it’s written...

a) edward didn’t actually decide to give life another chance? he’s still planning on dying when bella does, the same way he has been all along. he just found out that bella isn’t dead yet. because, as with every depiction of mental health in this godforsaken series, it’s not actually about mental health, it’s about adding stakes to the romance.

b) edward didn’t learn jack SHIT about anything else either!!! he shows up, tells bella “i can’t believe you believed me when i told you i didn’t love you anymore referencing your deepest insecurities in our relationship!”, blames her for her own mental health issues, goes straight back to controlling her / raging about the same issue that caused him to leave at the start of the book (her potentially becoming immortal), is an asshole about the wolfpack, and if we look at eclipse is even more controlling and manipulative afterward. the only “lesson” he learns is that he and bella shouldn’t be apart, which is the absolute worst lesson to take from the suicidal breakdown you have bc you’re in a codependent relationship.

b) hmm. i am not in any way trying to be insensitive; suicidal thoughts are real and miserable to experience and a suicide attempt is not something to be treated lightly, even in fiction (STEPHENIEEEEEE), and people deserve support and encouragement in continuing to live. but...that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions. in edward’s case, especially by bella, (who for the record ALSO just attempted suicide, that’s literally what sparked his attempt). and yeah maybe yelling at him isn’t the most trauma-informed therapeutic approach or whatever but? she is not edward’s support system. (they’re in this situation in the first place because edward invested too much of his mental wellbeing in his idea of her!) she is his ex-girlfriend, who he manipulated, abandoned (literally traumatizing her), and then attempted suicide, requiring her to literally save his life while still believing he hated her. at this point in canon they aren’t even back together yet! she has every right to be angry with him, to yell at him if she wants, and to set whatever boundary she needs to. and yeah i sympathize with edward. his situation sucks, and he clearly needs help. but bella is not obligated to give it to him, and she is not obligated to ignore the ways he hurt her, just because he’s suffering. and again, she could do it in a kind way, but she doesn’t have to. it’s a complicated and messy situation, and she deserves to be complicated and messy!

#my meta #new moon #edward cullen #content warning for suicide #ugh this is way too many words sorry #clearly i have a Lot of feelings about this #look i just... #i don't *hate* edward cullen per se #but i Do think he deserves a lot more criticism #especially for his actions in new moon! #& that criticism can be applied WHILE acknowledging that he is clearly deeply mentally ill #i think especially bc he's in a narrative that romanticizes mental illness #as a sign of 'true love' or w/e #(smeyer i am in your walls) #i don't know #is this anything?

[mikus0na]

remember back in the twilight heyday when people would be like “edward SUCKS. vampires aren’t supposed to be sparkly and broody they’re supposed to be scary and monstrous and powerful!” like. yeah im sure that would be great in a romance love triangle story aimed at teenage girls

#also i don’t think vampire media has been that way for a while #twilight #edward cullen #vampire #vampcore #twilight renaissance #renesmee #jacob black #bella swan #team edward #team jacob #alice cullen #team alice #dracula #nosferatu #bad faith criticism #early 2000s #y2k #nostalgia

[undead-knick-knack]

It's always the fucking werewolves

#critical role #cr3 #cr c3 #critical role campaign 3 #bells hells #bell's hells #chetney pock o'pea #twilight saga #edward cullen #bella swan #werewolf #protective #protect #protecting #cr memes #cr shitpost #courtesy of me

[cactusflowerbabe]

ok , so

apparently, winnie was a nickname used for the name edward back in the day

so now i'm thinking- that was probably edward's nickname, like, i can totally see his mom elizabeth calling him that?

and can you imagine emmett ever letting him live this down? like, p.o.v. it's edward's birthday and emmett and alice team up and get him a red crop top with some "winnie cullen" embroidery, very beautiful, very tasteful, Edward is an absolute brat about it

#edward cullen #twilight #twilight renaissance #alice cullen #emmett cullen definitely says fuck every other word i will not take criticism #emmett cullen #the cullens #twilight saga #bella swan

[spacerockfloater]

From:

To:

…in less than 10 fucking minutes.

Bella and Jacob had no other interaction between these two scenes, by the way. There was nothing that happened during Bella’s trip to Italy that would make her change her opinion about him so drastically.

Nope. It was just Grandpa Edward getting mixed up in teenagers’ business.

But in all seriousness, it is his fault. Bella fully trusted Jacob all of her life. And I mean, why would she not? He’s been protecting her since the get-go while Edward decided to leave her all alone and exposed. At first, Bella is convinced that Jacob would never harm her and she tells him that she’s always going to remind him that he’s not that type of guy. But the moment Smellward gets back, she’s suddenly all like “Eddie pwease, is that person going to hurt poor little me? No? Can you make sure? 🥺”. Like, I know this is obviously the writers’ fault, but girl maybe you’re worrying about the wrong person? Your prince charming over there spends every minute of his undead life trying to prevent himself from turning your body into a raisin.

And it’s even worse when you get to that part in the book because she never even says this to Jacob. Instead, we get this heart breaking scene:

Wow. Like, all she can think about is Jacob and how she wants to go and touch him and be close to him and keep him happy with her, even as her friend. Which ok, a bit selfish on Bella’s part, but Jacob is her choice. Her human, sane part chose him of its own free will, whereas the rest of her simply can’t resist Edward and everything his world offers. Her soul is connected with Jacob’s. And speaking of selfishness, Edward doesn’t even want her to be part of his world, but he wants her to be part of Jacob’s even less. It’s like he changes his mind about keeping Bella with him forever out of pure spite. I fully believe that if Alice was able to see the wolves in her visions and Edward saw Bella coming closer with Jacob and eventually marrying him as she briefly dreamed of, his wrinkly ass would have never left Forks in the first place.

Like, it might just be me, but physically restraining Bella from getting close to someone she loves (whatever the way, shape or form of that love may be) out of jealousy is so insane. He’s too old to be acting like that. What, Jacob getting upset about Bella practically ceasing to exist as her current self is just too much for Edward? Has this man forgotten that he spent the biggest part of Midnight Sun fantasising about how he’d kill Bella and her entire classroom and that he didn’t do it solely to prove to himself that he’s not that kind of monster but he still fucking craves murdering her? Is he going senile?

#twilight #twilight critical #new moon #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #bella swan #jacob black #pro jacob black #team jacob #twilight movies #twilight saga #the twilight saga

[felixschokehold]

It is genuinely funny to me how useless Edward is without his gift. If Bella joined the Volturi and used her gift to hide the thoughts of the guard, Edward would get his ass lit up in less than two seconds bc I can guarantee his ability to fight is just as bad as his ability to actually understand and communicate with people whose minds he cannot read.

#edward cullen #lmao #i'm not an anti per se #i'm just critical lol #twilight #twilight saga #he really is stupid tho #my post #own post

[cowboycereal]

i wish harry potter stans on tiktok spoke about it the same way the twilight lady does*

*if you’re going to engage, engage critically instead of accepting the text’s harmful rhetoric at face value and moving on

#han.txt #she’s always so so vocal abt all the fucked up ways meyers writes poc and specifically native americans #not to mention the internalized misogyny #and the manipulative nature of the cullens specifically carlisle and edward #like i still see ppl arguing the morality of slytherins like the house is just canonically evil and maybe that’s stupid but criticize the #writer instead of arguing that the text is in favor of progressive politics or is in any way socially liberating #i’ve had ppl straight up tell me that house elves are fine bc they want to be slaves like will u all shut the fuck up #someone once said that draco is not a racist he’s a blood supremacist like will u use ur fucking brain???

[moontheoretist]

Random Dream I Had After Andor

I had a dream that Bella was a werewolf that killed her own mother, and was hunted by other werewolves for this crime. She became besties with one of their eternal enemies - a vampire named Edward, and they and a few of their friends were running together from the werewolves. I don't know what exactly happened before the scene that was featured in my dream, but it was clear from the context that Bella had a few conversations with Edward about vampire/werewolf conflict, before she said with conviction and face belling of making a life-turning decision: "I am ready to join the enemy" and he bit her, and she became the werewolf/vampire hybrid. And seriously, if the plot of Twilight was half as interesting as this dream, I'd read it.

BTW I don't think Bella and Edward were in love in this universe, but one of their friends was Andy Serkis who had a very gay relationship with another male friend of theirs. And I am like: “good for him”.

I had this dream after I watched Andor prison episode.

Don’t ask me why Bella and Any were in prison.

I seriously have no idea. Brain wrote this.

#twilight critical #or more like #I never liked Twilight #never read it #never watched it #I just know it is bad #and I know the memes about shining vampires #andy serkis was gay #and I bet this is all Andor's fault #because I fought about Andor before I fell asleep #andy serkis #edward cullen #isabella swan #btw why isabela? is it elizabeth? #like seriously did author try to make elizabeth swan or something? #werewolves #vampires #vampire werewolf hybrids