#even when everything’s closed

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The girls are plottinggggg

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen chao #wang lingjiao #Realizing she was supposed to have an upper lip mole was a cold slap in the face. So sorry ma'am. I won't forget again. #They are evil dumbass 4 evil dumbass and I think we are all missing out on the sheer potential of the comedy between these two. #They have way too much power and are using it for the wrong reasons - which makes them truly great villains. #And when things don't go their way they become piles of whining sludge. #Wang Lingjiao is forever fascinating to me even though we only get crumbs about her. #She's a servant girl who's greatest asset is her beauty and her attractiveness. #Meaning she's had a life being in the gaze of people with significant positions of power over her. #I can't help but read her childishness and petty tantrums as someone who has finally been given the chance to not feel powerless. #If she was a more virtuous type we might 'like' her more but honestly...I don't think she would have survived to this point. #WLJ has only known power hierarchies her whole life. Probably accused of seduction before she even understood what that meant. #I love contrasting her with mianmian because they have similar(ish) backgrounds but different approaches to moving forwards #But WLJ's story is about flying too close to the sun and mianmian's is about going too close to the water. #Like the sea mist dragging her down into complacency - all the sect powerplays are mandatory to 'go along with' if she wants to climb- #-the social ladder. Yet she is the cautionary tale (and a foil to JGY as well) she leaves before sacrificing her own morals. #Mianmian flies away with her wings only slightly plucked while those who sacrificed everything to reach for the top crash and burn.

[fortheloveofexy]

it's a pet peeve of mine when ppl frame Andrew as hating Aaron and being needlessly cruel to him... bc while yes, their relationship is fractured and strained, Andrew genuinely cares about his brother and wants the best for him, he just doesn't know how to show that in a normal way.

like he might not know how to express it in a healthy manner but Andrew LOVES Aaron, like he truly just wants Aaron to be healthy and safe. It's like, his whole Thing. Aaron is one of the most important people in his life. Andrew wants him around. He'd do anything to protect him.

I guarantee Andrew wants to be emotionally close to Aaron too, he just doesn't have the tools to do that and the thought of letting someone in terrifies him. He also has no concept of what a healthy sibling relationship looks like, so he has no frame of reference to work from.

#i love bickering twinyards as much as the next guy but sometimes ppl write andrew has if he thinks aaron is a waste of space #and that just isn't true #andrew values his brother #he wouldn't insist on keeping aaron close if he didn't #when ppl do this is just so obvious to me that they're using andrew as a mouthpiece for their own dislike of aaron #and like ok yeah you're entitled to not like a character i guess #but it's just so wildly out of character to me for andrew to treat aaron like shit for no reason beyond Being Cruel #like yeah andrew can be mean when he's feeling defensive or trying to make a point #and yeah he can treat people like shit if he's got a reason to justify it like Keeping People Safe #but he's not needlessly cruel to the people closest to him without cause #like neil says #everything andrew does #he does For A Reason #even neil isn't needlessly mean to aaron tbh #like he doesn't like aaron much at certain points but if he picks a fight with aaron it's never without cause #and he's genuinely happy for aaron when things work out with katelyn in the end #and he wants aaron to have a relationship with andrew as well! like it's important to neil that the twins have a healthy bond!! #anyway im getting off my soapbox now this is just something i was thinking about today a Lot #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court

[a2zillustration]

We lived.

| First | | Previous | | Next |

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#FELT THAT GOOD GOOD VINDICATION HOARDING SCROLLS THE ENTIRE TIME FOR ONE (1) TO FINALLY COME IN HANDY HAHAHAHAHAHFHGD #This fight was absolutely bananas - I was so close to restarting it when everything looked bleak but I didn't and I'm so glad #because it made for a very dramatic story lol #Rambling incoming: #I split the party really bad bc I wasn't super clear on the AOE lightning attack so when the second one rolled around Gale was the only- #-one able to take cover in the building...but I don't think it even worked?? #Lae'zel was down long before then but Wyll and Croissant were in death saves #Used all of Gale's movement AND misty step to get to Croissant but he still couldn't get close enough & had to throw a potion #I think I used a potion of speed then so Croissant could cast globe of invuln right away #(and it took 10min of looking through my inventory to even see I had something to do bc otherwise we would've died right there don't @ me) #But then we were STILL too far away from Ansur for 60' spells so I had to keep running them out of the globe - using a spell - and then- #-mISTY STEPPING BACK INTO IT BC WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MOVEMENT SPEED #it was rough but we made it #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #act III spoilers #ansur quest #croissant adventures #tav #ansur #gale #gale dekarios #breadweave #gale x tav #YEAH WE'RE PUTTING IT IN THAT TAG #comics

[oh-biwan]

"Each day you feel me devour your soul."

#obikin #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #oh.art #sw art #star wars #me‚ feeling peckish but not wanting to get up to find something to eat: -faint sigh- Anakin is always so hungry. for his Master. #for his attention. for his closeness. his everything... and even when Obi-Wan yields bit by bit Anakin never feels quite sated... #... me‚ reaching for the pen: Alright‚ let's do this :). #and if the quote feels suspiciously similar to a certain line from Jekyll and Hyde musical (Confrontation) you'd be right. #I'm not being subtle yes. the title of this blog is a blatant jekyll and hyde reference XD. my other obsessions seeping in. oh well -shrugs

[ultimateinferno]

Every so often I remember Lirin was a doctor while Dalinar was Blackthorn, and his entire worldview makes a shit ton of sense. I can go on and acknowledge that he was a subject of Sadeas but really... nah. That man absolutely witnessed first-hand the casualties of that war.

#lirin did nothing wrong #yes even after the scene during the siege of urithiru. kaladin did not need to kill that singer #teft wasn't in any immediate danger at that point when they were being gathered. kaladin was the person who escalated everything #i don't (wholly) condemn kaladin beyond it being the first foot soldier he killed since oathbringer iirc. #i don't need him to act perfectly logically he wasn't in a good headspace #but lirin wasn't entirely unreasonable either. #cosmere #cfsbf #stormlight #stormlight archive #the way of kings #words of radiance #oathbringer #rhythm of war #lirin stormblessed #dalinar kholin #it's also understandable why he's fucking weird throughout the rest of RoW #talking to someone close to you after a heated argument is fucking uncomfortable as shit #and sometimes it's really tempting to refuse to acknowledge it instead because what the fuck do you do when that shit happens? #if communication was easy we wouldn't need diplomats. #we also see first hand how much lirin is lying to himself when it comes to resistance #both in hearthstone and in urithiru he keeps sticking his hands into the conflict and covering up resistance #despite the fact that he claims he doesn't believe in it. he is naturally a defiant person he just decided to not be super obvious about it #i think a lot of people don't like them because their own relationship with their parents is frustrating #and project their issues onto kaladin when they see them collide #lirin and kaladin are the same person. #a friend of mine who projects super hard on kaladin told me that if he ever met his clone even if they were identical in personality #he'd hate him because he's super bullheaded and stubborn #but also deeply fervent in his beliefs. #anyways i'm probably running out of tags

[kaltacore]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them! #but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

[ryllen]

#mtas #my time at sandrock #mtas wei #mtas builder #fanart #i found my true love target ; v ; #the smiling type is the ones that truly snatch my heart #they bring me the utmost joy #as much ironic it is unsuur makes me unsure of the rest of the stage after confession #i just thought i marry him in case the builder parents come and there would be some kind of scene over it like in portia #till the very last minute my heart was somehow still half in about it #tho in the game unsuur is read very close as 'unsure' i actually pronounce it differently bcs it's close to something in my language #unsur : means element; i thought that's nice bcs it feels closely to rock related thing #https://translate.google.com/?sl=id&tl=en&text=unsur&op=translate #if anyone even interest the slightest on how it sounds when pronounced by me here's the google translate link #but yea i'm dying that it is literally being pronounced 'unsure' #pls help him he just needs to be given a chance to command so he can learn to do independent thinking from experience #like yeah probably there would be lots of mistake at first #but u're like a mom justice who decides everything for the child so when u ask the child they just be like don't know ask mom fshdshd #he needs to be put out there #or had that been done justice if so i am sorry ; v ; #but seriously i'm dying when i kept adventuring with justice and logan and unsuur was just told to wait like a puppy fhsdh #he needs to be taught how to decide things by himself seriously #it's honestly hard to write unsuur's character #like no matter how u tried somehow it doesn't feel as close as funny or as serious deadpan like the original #wei here is like a piece of white paper i can scribble whatever i want #it's unexpected #but i ended up liking wei

[shepscapades]

Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :> #but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :] #but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—> #ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

[zytes]

7.15.23

#I was sooooo patient trying to capture this #even then it was dumb fucking luck #this one defo gets its own post #addition fun facts abt this night: #I left my driver's side car window down the ENTIRE storm and did not notice. nothing damaged but I have a stinky seat :( #however a stinky seat is the small humbling moment at the end of a phenomenal experience enjoying the storm from my small cave-like patio #so I sat outside enjoying the rain. me n my bong. and also a mogwai album. eyes closed. just sounds and my own deep breathing - peaceful #lighting would streak the sky and I could see the bolts through my closed eyelids - they were bright and crisp; defined. even if obscured #everything just snapped into place. the lightning and the music had moments of perceived synchronization - probably pareidolia #waves of euphoria radiating out from the base of my skull. full goosebumps. momentous feeling - I must've been manic #when I opened up my eyes the world had gone from being heavy and dark to just. red. so red. like a wildfire on the entire western horizon. #my driveway doesn't come with a glamorous view either. it was just that the entire western hemisphere was flame-red fading into eigengrau #i have those photos too lmao - will be sharing soon #my art #aesthetic #art #artwork #webcore #glitchcore #internetcore #photography #original photography #nature photography #lightning #storm #rain aesthetic #stormy aesthetic #dark aesthetic #surreal aesthetic #surrealcore

[odysseys-blood]

ive been wondering forever about when exactly levi was kidnapped and taken to the heaven lab and this bit from his new unit's board here doesnt help much but i wonder if those are just the first words he remembers learning and not the first words hes learned overall.

mainly this is all just speculation based on 2 things:

1) he ofc had some sort of childhood before the heaven lab from how old he looked at the time, plus his selfie comic art looking younger than his sprite art from ch5 (look at his little horns plus his hair's grown out)

2) he does also just say straight up that he doesn't remember his life from before the lab

i wonder if that means he had to get reacquainted with the kings all over again too. like he wouldnt recognize them at all even with how it looks like they often played together. (tho i do suspect a little that some comics might have been done before there was a more coherent story put together but thats whatever)

#cliffnotes/.txt #whb #what in hell is bad #fun thought: itd be extra hurtful if the reason beel felt closest to levi was bc of them being close as young children #but levi remembers none of that + he doesnt trust anyone now anyways #i wonder if his friendship w/ them is less smthn he wanted after returning and more he Cannot get rid of them and theyre a package deal atp #extra extra thought: if the comics r still canon to the timeline then it looks like levi was always a little introverted #even liking his coffin before everything happened #and it just got worse afterwards bc then it was the only place he felt safe #wait one more #interesting how levi looks like he'd be around maybe 10-12 in the ch5 flashbacks #(tho considering the number they gave him hes probably been in there a long time) #and that age would be pretty close to the mc's age when their parents were killed by im suspecting gabriel or angels under his command #i wonder if they'll talk about that later #how the angels stole both (and more) characters' childhoods

[hauntedpearl]

s12 destiel from dean's perspective is explanation enough for why dean is sooooo insane after that season. like.

- first he almost kills himself for the greater good or whatever and has to come to terms with like. dying. on purpose. and then he is given the gift of life but before he can be like yay! i can go home! his mom is back from the dead??? and his brother is missing???

- then his mom leaves him bc she wants to figure out who she is and even tho he's like a 38 yo man it fucks w him a lot understandably.

-they get arrested and put in SOLITARY for a while and when they finally get out and meet cas again (at which point dean has once again come to terms with dying for the greater good but also mostly his mom and brother this time), he KILLS THE REAPER THEY MADE THE DEAL WITH AND GETS ALL EMOTIONAL??? after which he proceeds to fuck off bc he is Busy™ tracking lucifer etc.,

- then they get a lead and CAS ALMOST DIES IN FRONT OF HIS EYES and throws an I love you in his goodbye speech for the lolz. which. hahaha. anyway cas lives but turns out his mother — with whom he's trying to connect so badly so he can achieve full Normalcy — was like. lowkey responsible for his almost death. so they're fighting now.

- cas receives a divine voicemail from his close friend and colleague and then they go on that case with Lily sunder and ISHIM BEATS CAS UP AND THREATENS TO KILL HIM and even after they beat him Lily Sunder is like. I'm gonna go do some soul searching and if im in the mood I'll come back and KILL YOU. THREAT. and cas is like 😔 fair. so you know.

- there is also an instance of him losing his memories which is scary. and it's like. being intimately familiar with that experience is. something else. as a memory loss girlie let me tell you 👍🏽😄

- and then!!!!! lucifer's unborn child mind melds with his wifehusband — once more in front of his own two eyes — and "manipulates" him into running away with the pregnant lady instead of staying and Figuring Out A Solution. and when they finally do find cas, they are with them for all of 12 hours before HE DIES. FORREAL THIS TIME. AND LIKE THAT'S IT. NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE!

this is not an exhaustive list bc i don't remember everything but. like you know. he was primed to get worse and worse. all things that happen in s12 are out of his control but they are also things that happen in front of his eyes, and in ways that make him think that perhaps he did have control over them and he did fuck up some way and he *should* have done something to change the course of their lives so he's filled with guiltshame about it. and he decides that the solution to not losing anyone in the foreseeable future is to just. Control Every Possible Aspect Of Their Existence. which is impossible and that's why he gets mad all the time but YOU KNOW. YOU CAN SEE WHY HE'S CRAZY. poor s12 dean man.

#doe is talking again #just thinking thoughts #i MISS S12 BTW #EVERYTHING WAS SOOOO RIGHT #and then </3 #also this is my bias against s13 showing bc i think it's STUPID #thete i said it idc about narrative importance s13 commits the worst crime of all: its boring as shit #and yeah I've only watched it once but i hated having yo watch it and supernatural WAS my favourite show back then even!! #snd an excuse to spend time with my v close friend!!! SO !!! EVEN THAT couldn't make s13 worth the time 😔 #im also not a big fan of first half of s14 while we're at it. #i think it picks up in the second half thk when thsy start doinf family drama #anyway #ANYWAYSSSS #this is not meta or analysis im just thinking about s12 dean my baby #suicide ment

[haunted-xander]

You ever think about how Ryne probably got a more honest yet closed-off Thancred while Minfilia got a more disingenuine yet open Thancred?

Like, the Thancred Minfilia knew and grew up with was the one we saw in arr, the flirty, teasing and sassy but friendly man who was clearly not very honest seeing as no one- not even Minfilia- noticed how worn out he was from his constant work. Even just by hw he's noticably more prickly and. not quite rude but. more outwardly cynical? He's always been kinda cynical, but in arr his teasing and banter hides it well, which never disappears but is more. natural? genuine? now. Krile directly points out that he's much more brusque than she expected of him based on how Minfilia described him.

And sure, you could attribute that behaviour to his grief and stress (which is certainly a part of it) but considering he acts much the same in ew, when he's finally moved on and come to terms with everything (and is also post-shb character development), I think it's safe to say that this is the most honest we've seen Thancred be.

But this is all Ryne has known him to be. She's never seen Thancred be flirtatious or as social and friendly as he is in arr, she's only seen him be brusque and cynical but still teasing and kind. But he's also far more closed off from her (and others) bc of That Whole Deal going on. Urianger has told her more about Thancred's true feelings than Thancred himself has. and even that's not a lot, for Urianger is not only not a mind reader and doesn't know everything that goes on on Thancred's head, but also is reluctant to share more than is necessary since it's not his place to divulge these things (and also he himself is not free from the folly of emotional self-isolation).

With Minfilia though, he's open enough that she's never doubted that he cared for and loved her even when he couldn't spend much time with her, and she felt comfortable enough to admonish him when he did his usual self-destructive behaviour (you know, becoming an alchoholic at 17 and All That Entails)

Just. food for thought

#theres a lot of these parallels between ryne & minfilia in regards to their relationship with thancred #like. the way things are so similar yet so *different* from each other #same same but opposite ya know #like how thancred blames himself for warburtons death and by extention minfilia being orphaned even tho it was in no way his fault #vs how he knowingly took ryne away from ran'jit bc he knew that whatever other life shed live would be better than what she had #when minfilia first experienced the echo thancred knew wat it was but didnt tell her (for circle of knowing related reasons) #whereas he told ryne everything he could in regards to her powers and circumstances #he gifted minfilia her dagger for self-defense but never taught her how to fight #but ryne was not only gifted daggers by him but also taught how to properly fight and fend for herself with them #and he trusted minfilia in the main care of f'lhaminn while he took a more secondary support role #but he assigned himself the primary caretaker for ryne while the others (read: urianger) became secondary ones #(granted due to rynes situation he kinda had no other choice at the time) #(but im sure he wouldve taken the same role even if he could theoretically have safely handed her over to someone else) #also just to be clear thancred IS genuinely social and friendly even hw & up #just not as extroverted #he spends a lot of time either by himself or with fellow scions/other close companions #rather than with whatever lady hes trynna impress next #anyway. yet another day of being Completelt Normal about this complicated family situation #thancred waters #ryne waters #minfilia warde #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne

[pink-november]

Thinking about Shifty during the Oblivion Ending… how she declares herself to be our only salvation during denial… how she then emphasizes us to become our only salvation during bargaining… how she then claims we are each other's salvation when abandoning oblivion after bargaining…

Thinking about how Oblivion can be seen as mutual annihilation… both our infinities shrinking, becoming lesser… we starve her of perspectives while she breaks our glass soul to smaller pieces, shattering us for each new loop without us having the chance to even reflect, the chance to know and see ourselves…

Thinking about Shifty asking us a reason for why we're doing this in depression and the narration merely following with, "Long silence. A hollow heart."… thinking about the implications of this and how devastating it must be for Shifty to speak to us and hear nothing back…

Thinking about how in Oblivion, we can never speak or respond to Shifty... having no voice to use... abandoning ourselves just as we abandon Her in a place where a fragment of a concept can't exist.

#slay the princess #thinking about the reasons why shifty experiences the stages of grief #thinking about how she witnesses us not only kill her but also ourselves #and how this fact destroys her more than anything you could possibly do #she screams she begs she reasons #she grasps at our soul and holds it close and limp over its fragile surface #yet she cannot understand your mind; cannot see the contours of your heart #is there even a heart to know when everything else had unraveled to oblivion #is there even an 'us' that exist when there isn't even an 'us' to begin with #just as you were once nothing #and nothing you shall remain

[yellowocaballero]

Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.

Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?

Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3

TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.

I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)

Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:

"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.

"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.

"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.

"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.

I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.

'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.

People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.

#my asks #thanks for enabling me lizzy if i didn't get this out i would have just vagued for the rest of time #even just beyond all of this on a more subtle lvl. HC people with SMI cowards. just do it. its good for you. #the two times me/a close friend have proposed on a fandom server "hey I read X as having a SUD/being on the schizophrenic spectrum' #there was actual fascinating pushback and rejection #people got MAD. #'blorbo wouldn't be an alcoholic he's not a bad person :(' fuck off #i dont use the word often but its ableism and you can be mentally ill and still ableist #if you dont feel educated enough on something to write it then do research #and while research wont give you everything it's a start #if you feel like you can only write people just like you then frankly? skill issue #i mentioned that the last fic was a bit of a spite fic - well #it was scientifically fascinating how the majority of a fandom wrote/acknowledged a character as depressed and anxious #but actively got incredibly defensive when someone suggested that the psychotic character may have had a psychotic disorder #it was so blatant. very annoying. anyway.

[writer-room]

Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.

Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #lego ninjago #dragons rising #bonzle #finders #cole #cole brookstone #geo #fritz #spitz #text post #angst #talk #LISTEN TO ME #COLE LOST 2 WHOLE FAMILY MEMBERS DURING THAT BLOOD MOON #HES GOING TO NOT BE OKAY!!!!!!! HES DOING SO BAD #mans is a FATHER and he PROMISED he'd keep his kid safe. he promised it to the OTHERS #and hes going to have to walk back up those steps and admit to being a LIAR and a FAILURE #hes not obviously sht just went sideways but you KNOW he blames himself #geo very worriedly stayed behind w fritz & spitz FULLY TRUSTING that cole would keep bonzle safe & bring her back #he loves him so much (in a gay way. u know it to be true) so he trusts him IMPLICITLY to keep them safe. hes done it before #can you imagine the HORROR when cole comes back and hes...alone. with no one else but the other ninja (minus 1) #geo realizing what happened before the kids. the way everything just freezes and drops. cole curled so tight in on himself #and cole cant say hes sorry because he cant even look at them. he lost family hes had for over a decade & a kid he claimed his own for year #you saw how he was w child wu. you saw how desperate he was to keep bonzle safe. AND KAI IS GONE TOO??? #homeboy is having the literal worst day ever. imagine him trying to tuck fritz & spitz close while on one knee trying to explain it all #and bro jsut feels like hes literally the worst person in the world #something something 'you dont get to stay with the ninja & be happy. i tried to protect you from what hurt me as a kid' #'and instead your right in the thick of it'

[purplecelestial-buddy]

It's so funny to me that the fandom has come to see Hirano as a Sasamiya promoter of sorts because while he is, it took him some time to get accustomed to the idea of them together. And while he was never a hater Sasaki's actions towards Miyano certainly used to get on his nerves.

At first he was so worried and probably even felt a little guilty because (as mentioned in the following screenshot) because the only reason why Sasaki knows which class Miya is in, is thanks to him.

But like, that's not the face of a friend that's happy to play cupid and get their two acquaintances together. Not at all, that's the face of someone who puts his sempai-kouhai relationship with Miyano over his (pseudo) friendship with Sasaki.

Hirano from the first chapters would have jailed Sasaki if he were allowed to. (And he has his reasons, Sasaki has been something since the first chapters)

Anyway, the progression of events is really interesting.

He started, quite literally, shielding Miyano from Sasaki.

Then, he came to accept their relationship.

And at the end he really was rooting for them, to the point he ended up outright lying just so Miyano could meet Sasaki and they could talk it out and confess.

#I know the point of Sasaki to Miyano is watching how their relationship develops #but I think Hirano is really important as an spectator of their relationship #everyone thought the pair was and odd couple #him too #so watching him come to terms with their relationship and finally even rooting for them is super sweet #since it shows that he let go of his prejudice (mainly against Sasaki lol) #also I love the message he leaves Sasaki #he really did his everything to give them that last little push that they so needed #and he didn't have to!!! #like two pages before that he curses them both for having never exchanged number #and still he helps them out #idk I just love to ramble about him #he gets angry easily and he lacks patience but he always does his uttermost best to help his friends #even when he isn't particularly close to miya or sasaki #the (pseudo) in pseudofriendship comes from the fact that they are som weirdos that consider each other just classmates #but that's a talk for another day #got sasamiya brainworms again #does this count as a character analysis? (lol) #Hirano might not know of relationships and social dynamics but he really cares about everyone regardless of what those people are to him #both his kohais and his classmates are people he considers precious #and people for whom he would make sacrifices #I'm sorry I just love him very much #sasaki to miyano #if Hirano Taiga has no fans I'm dead #meaning that I'll defend him till my last breath