#and it just got worse afterwards bc then it was the only place he felt safe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeonzzzn · 1 month

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jay au where y/n is also an idol and they have a situationship and they always do tiktok challenges together and when jay recorded a challenge with other idol y/n is like OHHHHH SO YOU *TALK* WITH OTHER GIRLS? and is sooooo jealous (literally me in my silly little delulu head cause wdym jay talks with other ppl???)

NO BC I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS CONCEPT‼️‼️such a cute idea!

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it’s just a tiktok challenge

paring: jay x afab!reader word count: 1.6k

You didn’t know what was worse:

1: Your situationship with Jay or 2: The fact that this situationship with Jay is a secret.

You obviously didn’t understand how the world didn’t already know the two of you are more than just friends. Mostly since anytime there’s a new TikTok challenge, you were always the first person Jay called and vice versa.

Of course, Jay used the challenges as one of the excuses to see you out in public. To drag you to whatever good spot for the challenge and have it secretly be a date afterward.

Being idols has made it hard for the two of you to officially slap a label on whatever it is that your relationship is. Jay was your best friend and you were his, so obviously when the two of you are seen in public together or doing the TikTok challenges no one bats an eye at it. And anytime either of you has been confronted on whether it’s more than friends, you both deny everything.

It sucked, truly. To keep the situationship such a secret.

Jay felt the same way. He hated having to find ways to sneak you into the dorms or sneak into yours just to have a quick fuck or spend as much time with you as possible in a way that the public eye wouldn’t know anything. All Jay wanted to do was scream from the rooftops about how in love with you he was. And the only way he knew how to voice that was through this situationship and the TikTok challenges.

He’d always sneak glances at you while doing the challenge, as in a way of hoping you’d see it. Jay knew you had feelings for him too, you’ve both discussed your feelings, just not in depth.

Both are so in love with each other but neither of you knew it. Thinking it was just a small crush mixed with friends with benefits and acting innocent when the cameras are on.

Sometimes you’d both risk getting caught, having a quick make-out session behind the stages or stairs or closet or wherever Jay was able to pin your body against him. Just to get his fix of you before having to go back to pretending.

It’s award show season and all the idols are gathered in one place, taking selfies and videos, going on Instagram lives together, and of course; TikTok challenges.

Jay searched the sea of idols for you, constantly checking his phone to see if you’ve texted him, but have yet to hear from you.

Sunghoon nudges Jay’s side, teasing him about you and Jay flips him the bird, “Shut up! Don’t speak too loud.”

Of course, his group knew about the two of you, and the same with your group. Who else was going to help film the challenges and sneak you both in and out of your company buildings and dorm rooms?

Jay slides his hands into his pockets, releasing a sigh as he continues to search for you, only for Chaewon to pop up at his side, “Jay! Want to do our new choreography dance challenge with me? Please!”

She clung to his arm, smiling at him. Jay shrugged, smiling back, “Sure why not! How about in the hallway? It’s got pretty good lighting.”

Chaewon agreed, asking Sunghoon to film the challenge. Sunghoon took a smirking glance at Jay and agreed.

Jay didn’t do challenges without you. It was always you or the members he did them with. So this was the first time since before meeting you that he’d do a challenge with another idol.

They filmed the dance challenge, then Jay offered Chae to do their comeback title challenge too, to which she agreed.

Your group arrived a bit late but still just in time. You smoothed out your white cropped tank top and double-checked your fishnet tights underneath your white jeaned shorts, your group was set to perform early on into the show, so you all showed up already ready.

“He already thinks you’re sexy, YN, stop fidgeting with your outfit,” one of your elder bandmates teased, pinching your cheek, “You’re cute, he knows it.”

You couldn’t lie and say you were just trying to make sure the outfit was okay, mostly when in reality you were hoping Jay’s jaw would drop at the sight of you.

You released a sigh, looking out around the stage and the sea of people, trying to find him. You found his group, seeing all the boys huddled together and laughing at something Jake was showing them on his phone, but Jay wasn’t there, Sunghoon was also missing.

You glanced more around the crowd, finally eyeing the two boys and Chaewon walking back to their seats. You watched as Jay and Sunghoon gave her a smile and nod before parting ways, reuniting with their groups, and seeing Jay pull his phone from his pocket.

Pulling your phone from your back pocket, you went to his messages, typing out that you could see him and comment how handsome he looked, only to be distracted by another notification on TikTok: Enhypen posted a video!

You smiled and clicked the notification, expecting it to be something silly Jay and Sunghoon just filmed, only for your smile to slowly drop at seeing Chaewon by Jay’s side.

As if on cue, you received a text from Jay.

Jay: Where are you? I want to see you before you perform. I bet you look so pretty :(

You locked your phone and ignored his message.

Jealousy wasn’t a normal emotion for you. You haven’t had to ever feel it, really. Yes, there were *small* moments but it wasn’t ever anything major. Until today.

Your group was finally called to perform, your headsets and equipment being handed to each of your group members and being escorted to the stage.

The performance was three song lengths long, and you kept your smile the entire time, only making eye contact with Jay once, trying your best to keep your eyes everywhere but at him.

Once the performance was over, your group headed to a changing room. You glanced down at your phone, seeing multiple texts.

Jay: god you look so good Jay: <3 <3 <3 <3 Jay: those fishnets are killing me YN Jay: meet me at the stairs the moment you see these Jay: fuck the things I want to do to you right now.

You thinned your lips in a line, debating to either ignore him or go to him.

You went to him.

You had barely pushed the door open to the stairs and took two steps down before Jay had his hands on your waist, lifting you off the stairs and pinning you to the wall, his lips crashing to yours.

His hand trailed down to your thighs, pushing his fingers between the strings of your fishnets and squeezing the plush skin, “Fuck you’re so hot,” he whispered between kisses, shoving his tongue down your throat and rocking his growing hard length against your tummy.

You placed your hands on his shoulders, slightly pushing him back from you so you could catch your breath, resting your head against the wall.

It took one look at your face for Jay to realize something was wrong. Normally you’d be jumping his bones at this moment, but you’re clocked out and far away from here, far from him.

He cupped your face, resting his forehead against yours, “What’s wrong, honey?”

You sighed, pouting your lips and moving your head away from his and his hands, “Oh, nothing.”

Jay took a step back from you, raising a brow, “That attitude says otherwise.”

You crossed your arms, slouching against the wall, “What reason would I have to be upset, Jongseong?”

He stared at you, running through every possible thing that could be upsetting you and then it finally clicked.

Jay smirks, placing both his hands on either side of your face, “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

You weren’t shocked that Jay figured it out so quickly, he knew you inside and out.

You shrugged, looking away from him.

Jay pressed his body back against yours, bringing his face close to yours, brushing his lips against your ear, “You’re so hot when you’re jealous.”

He nibbles on the shell of your ear and you bite your tongue to keep from whimpering, “I am not jealous.”

Jay traces his lips down to your neck, “Baby, it’s just a TikTok challenge.”

You scoff, “So you talk with other girls then?”

“You are so jealous,” he chuckles against your neck, “Chaewon and I are under the same company, I can do challenges with her.” You tried to push him away again, but his body held firm against yours.

You pouted more and tried to hold yourself together from exploding out your emotions.

“Baby,” he whispered, moving his face back to yours, once again cupping your face, “You’re the one that I want, okay? I love you. I want you. There’s no need to be jealous over a TikTok challenge. There’s still so much more I can do with you.”

You stared into his brown eyes, “You love me?”

He chuckled, “Of course I do.”

You felt stupid for being jealous, mostly when Jay is allowed to have other friends to do challenges with. You felt stupid for being jealous when he was in love with you. How silly you felt as you curled your lips into a small.

“There’s that smile I love,” he smiled back, rubbing his thumbs against your cheeks, “Now,” he went back into a whisper, sliding his hands down to your ass, “I have about thirty minutes before my group is called to perform, let’s make it count, ya?”

You attach your lips to his, your hands working at his belt.

At least to say, you both made every second of that thirty minutes count.

— perm taglist: @alvojake @ikeuverse @woniebae @shawnyle @kangnina @jwnghyuns @in-somnias-world @zyvlxqht @aaa-sia @wonniethepoo @addictedtohobi @eneiyri @sparklovespink @skzenhalove @fakeuwus @cherry-park @vousty @ladyartemesia @psh9 @cmoundiamante @enhaverse713586 @wondipity @lhsvibez @belowbun @jaeyunq @rikizm @kaykay11sworld @pockettwinzz @vixialuvs @seunghancore

#yeonzzzn asks #jay bae #jay park #park jay #jongseong park #park jongseong #reader x jay #jay x reader #park jongseong x reader #reader x park jongseong #enhypen #enhypen x reader #reader x enhypen #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #yeonzzzn writing

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

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Aita for secretly following my then best friend home?

(tw alcohol abuse, probably suicidal tendencies)

I know this sounds really awful right away but bear with me. Also this is probably going to get long, sorry in advance

tl;dr I followed a guy i was friends with and had a crush on home after an argument, even after he asked me not to come to his house, bc i was worried he might hurt himself.

Last summer I (20f) moved to the US for college. I didn’t know anyone outside of college and overall I was mostly on my own which was getting a bit lonely tbh. So I was very glad when I met this guy (21m) at a party of one of my acquaintances. We got along right away and he ended up giving me his number. After that we continued talking regularly and also meeting up every now and then and overall it was a lot of fun.

At some point I started developing feelings for him but prepared myself to just wait it out and not tell him bc I knew that he liked having a very active sex life and felt like he probably wouldn’t be interested in something serious at that time.

After a few months however, he began to behave in some ways that made me pretty worried honestly. I had known that he liked to go out and party but I hadn’t known to what extent. Apparently he would get totally blackout drunk at least once a week, sometimes more than that and then he would text me or call me in the middle of the night but often I genuinely couldn’t understand what he was saying. Sometimes he would just call me like that at any time of day, crying, saying that I was his only real friend, the only person he felt safe talking to and so on. On the one hand I knew that that wasn’t healthy behaviour at all but on the other hand my crush on him kept getting worse bc who doesn’t like to feel needed.

On other occasions, he would just randomly do reckless and stupid things like one time we went to a museum and he started arguing with the guard over not being able to take any pictures and we almost got kicked out. Afterwards he laughed it off but honestly it made me feel pretty uneasy. (I didn’t tell any of my other friends about that btw, they only knew that I was seeing this guy but wasn’t dating him.)

He has told me some things about his childhood which I don’t want to share here bc he did tell me that confidentially and although this is anonymous I still don’t feel comfortable telling random people on tumblr about it. But it is severe enough for me to believe that his upbringing and the things he lived through definitely contributed to the issues that he has now. I can say that he didn’t have a great time at home bc he is bi and while homosexuality isn’t illegal in his country, it isn’t really accepted either. Also it’s generally expected that children, especially boys, dedicate their entire life to having a successful and lucrative career and then start a family and he wasn’t really in the right place to do either of that (and he didn’t want to).

He also has been facing a lot of problems and racism here bc he is a poc immigrant from a country that isn’t in good standing with the US. So while I don’t pretend I know what he’s feeling, I imagine that all of these things would affect him quite a lot.

Now I actually get to the incident that is the reason for me to send this (it rly did get long TT but I want to make everything as clear as possible).

A few weeks ago we were just hanging out, it was all pretty chill and we just sat down to eat and talk etc. It had been quite a difficult week for me, also college wise, and I felt like I really had to talk to him about him calling me at night and while I’m in class and all that. So I said as nicely as I could smth like “I don’t want to seem overbearing but have you ever thought about maybe seeing a therapist bc I don’t think what you do is healthy in the long run and I’m not a professional who can properly help you.” He immediately got really snappy and defensive, saying that he “couldn’t fucking afford a therapist and even if I could, all they do is squeeze the money out of you and they don’t give a fuck about your feelings.” I was pretty shocked tbh and responded by saying “well if you really think this badly about therapists you should clearly see one” which was probably too harsh of me but I just couldn’t help myself at that moment. He then said “oh yeah?? I’d rather die than tell any of my shit to a total stranger. But you’ve probably already told yours bc you’re all so fucking dependant on them anyway.” and then he stormed off. (Just to be clear, I don’t have a therapist bc I don’t have any issues that require one.)

I was really scared at that point bc I thought that he might do something to himself (he had said stuff like “I wish I just wasn’t here sometimes” before) so I started following him which I now think was extremely weird and creepy of me but I just didn’t think it through in that situation. He walked for about 10 minutes to a house which I assumed was where he lived (I had never been at his place before bc he always said he lived in a bad neighborhood and didn’t want me to come there) and I stood outside for like another 10 minutes thinking abt what to do bc I realized that this had been totally stupid, also it started to get dark and it really was a bad neighborhood. I ended i up calling him and telling him where I was and he let me in. He was pretty angry but mostly at the fact that I had put myself in such a dangerous situation and he let me spend the night at his place.

We actually got together not long after that and as of now, we’re dating. I know it’s not an ideal situation and probably not the most healthy one but I have been able to keep him from drinking himself into oblivion all the time bc we spend most evenings together now so I think that’s a good thing. I don’t know where things will go from here and I don’t have the illusion that i can “fix him” or anything but so far it’s been pretty good and I really do love him a lot so I just hope it will all turn out for the best. I just still feel guilty for lowkey (or actually highkey) stalking him when he explicitly asked me not to come to his house but it was out of genuine worry for him so idk if it makes me an asshole, I guess I’ll let tumblr decide that for me.

🌃🎀🍨 for finding later

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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datastate · 1 year

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gahhh there's so much that even i haven't been able to properly word for kai's ref sheet but. i do have the gist of how he regards his father... it's a lot though. and it changed a lot... always been complicated.

at his current age - on some level, i think kai... pities gashu. fear is present, naturally, bc kai knows the wrath that comes with asunaro's displeasure & gashu is essentially the boss’ right hand - but generally, he isn’t inclined either way. if he does feel any stronger feelings, they end up leaning toward anger. (if he does allow himself to linger on it enough (or there’s another factor intended) to invoke an intense emotional reaction)

(which is. well, this is unrelated, but it's really funny to compare this to ranger; whereas ranger had to make an effort to redirect his anger on gashu’s behalf (in a situation he deems unfair) from gashu toward himself, kai has to get himself accustomed to being angry toward his father.)

a lot of his youth, he felt terribly guilty. a lot of what gashu said (and did) stuck in his head. 'failure' as a literal trigger word, at this point. (specifically for the scene where he was trailing kai to make sure he got the job done, and then had to take out the target himself (and that's where kai got the scars on his shoulder in my hcs, the three bullet marks...); kai ended up being thrown into training for another year, and only afterward when he was sent out again was he able to conceal it better (bc he was older... and more accustomed to asunaro's system to take advantage of it for his own sake & the targets' sakes)) - kai was often angry with himself for disappointing his father. even now, though he takes a more objective stance when he lists it, it's these two things that stick : "my father was disappointed with me, and my standing in the organization was low." both are presumably still in relevance to his father.

gashu is assumed to be a greatly important figure within asunaro, who holds power and influence. he is able to bring in both emiri and michiru to the organization & relay the importance of the death game with them...

gashu was the only one in the entire organization that kai actually had a connection with. the entire reason that kai was brought into the organization in the first place was because of gashu's own selfishness - sure, his father values his family (it just so happens he values asunaro more...) & that's partly why he raised kai the way he did, to try to minimize the chance of kai being deemed useless, soon thereafter killed by asunaro. however, gashu and kai have much more of a. mentor and apprentice relationship, than father and child. whether he didn’t comprehend the whole situation, or craved validation, or felt a mix of fear/admiration for his father... before he was sent to actually kill, he showed a lot of potential. for this, gashu treated him with decency (or perhaps even curiosity, if we’re to contrast this with ranger’s behavior). kai knows this. but ever since he made that choice to go against what asunaro wanted, it meant he went against what gashu wanted for him. it meant he was signing his own death, and gashu couldn’t bear that.

and that sudden shift in how his father regarded him really, really hurt. even though kai felt he was doing the only reasonable thing, with the values he was raised to hold.

& because of that, for a long time, kai still considers himself loyal to asunaro (this begins to dissipate around the 16/17 age), but not the people who run the organization. there's still a period of time afterward where he will say he's loyal, aloud, but mostly because... well there's still the threat of death, and in a manner of speaking it is true, even if he's mostly taken these ideals for himself now. but whereas he can take asunaro's values (specifically when it comes to holding devotion in high regard) and realize what it means for the world as a whole, he then realizes the full extent of how much worse his father's mindset is -

gashu’s world is asunaro, at this point. it all leads back to the organization. that is why kai claims his father 'lost himself' or that the organization 'drove gashu mad' ... and why he sees death ('defeat' is a kinder term... and frankly inapplicable within the death game without punishment) as the only escape gashu has, at this point. gashu will not - or cannot! - return to the world he once knew... but that's a whole other issue.

( also relevant to mention here that kai probably only fully realized how much he was missing when he had that paternal dynamic with mister chidouin (& maybe mrs. chidouin? she does seem fond of him...) and it's only then that he really begins to. grieve that? not in a way that takes over his life, but i do think there would be a point where, once he finally accepts that he's been essentially cut off from asunaro and must cope with isolation as his punishment, he's immediately thrown into that unfortunate realization that his father never even had a chance to really love him, beyond the ideal that he wished for. and that from the start, being an assassin was something kai was never going to be able to accomplish unless he broke... & on a similar note, anger is still something that he doesn't enjoy feeling (because it's one of the emotions that kai cannot properly. moderate...) but it usually festers along with his grief for the life that he lost to asunaro's hand. to his own father, who he now realizes should've protected him. as much as he loves mister chidouin, knowing even broken trust won’t cut that, he would be prepared to kill him should he ever find out; not only for the group of participants - because sara's own father was going to hurt her, willingly throw her into the heart of asunaro. kai knows how much it affected himself, and there's a lot of. caution and weight, to even the more innocent gestures he does. because even though he's outside of asunaro, he just feels all he’s done will never leave him.

and... he’s never given that chance to alleviate it, because mister chidouin in-game was there to subtly enable that guilt & set a firm, '''reasonable''' line for how kai was to interact with normal society. including his daughter.)

ANYWAY... YES... my main point is that : kai doesn't place his life's value in gashu's hands anymore. his connection with gashu only lasts because gashu is still kai's higher-up, and through 'blood' (though that hardly counts for anything...) and it is because of this disconnect that kai can now see it from a more objective view. he recognizes gashu must've gone through his own shit to end up with such a twisted view of reality, but he wishes gashu understood that he brought a child with him into this. however, because there's nothing to really be done at this point, kai just ends up feeling very little toward his father. he doesn't feel as guilty as he once did, he's begun to forgive himself (even if he still fears himself & the harm he can do, though he has much more control of when/why he would even enact now... there'd still be those intrusive thoughts, with how familiar he was with the horrors), and redirect his resentment toward asunaro above all else... but for the most part he tries not to dig too deeply into the particulars until he absolutely must. even low-standing, he's still a part of asunaro and needs to use this to try to make sure they don't hurt anyone else that he now cares for. kai's just trying to move forward, even if the 'stains' on his conscience last.

#didn't realize this got that long but UM... yeah.#i know there's stuff i left out in here but i'vve honestly forgotten whoopsies. most of this is extrapolated from discord stuff ( ._.)#it is also very late. FAREWELL !#jestersvaguely #yttdposting #long post #parent abuse #father abuse

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literaphobe · 2 years

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I think jojo is similar to illumina in just hard carrying the team and 'leading from the back' but illumina is a long time mcc player and an undisputed s tier so george wouldn't be taken seriously as a second in command. jojo would be better for him as an a+ tier who is newer and would still listen to his ideas. He isn't good at being the leader (and doesn't want to be) but I think his performance still benefits from him being able to go "I'm just gonna follow dream" or saying "I usually go down red tunnel" and having a leader who will take that as advice rather than see it as him challenging authority.

As for dream and george... they are cute but dream's judgment when it comes to george is a little flawed. He trusts him too much in the wrong moments and not enough when he should. Dream was basically negging george in dodgebolt when he should have hyped him up and it's clearly affecting his performance, the encouragement he gave to foolish last mcc was especially insulting since george got none of that. dnf have gone as far as they are gonna go in terms of seeing a huge buff being teamed together.

dream was hyping george up when he was shooting but he also knows that george was off last mcc and he still kept letting george shoot and george felt like astronomically bad afterwards and if he hyped george up to shoot again only for george to miss and for all of them to lose again george would’ve felt way worse and not being responsible for winning dodgebolt when george got FIFTH FUCKING PLACE his best individual placement of all time is minuscule considering all things and dream still stuck george at second place in the pecking order and he still let george have his chances to shoot and he hyped george up when he did, this is like saying dream and cpk shouldn’t team together again bc in mcc16 finnster took more shots and it was an insult to cpk or whatever

#ask

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groovenians · 2 years

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okay so on this week's episode of "ditri is going through it" i bring you......whatever the fuck all this is

where do i even fucking begin

so my one irl bestie and i right. we've been planning on rooming together for a hot minute now. i trust them with my life. have no worries about it whatsoever. so my mother has been trying to find a place of her own bc the place we currently rent together just doesn't work for her. she's disabled and needs someplace with easier access.

well it's been weeks now and she keeps being turned down or snobbed on all her applications for housing. didn't understand why. neither did i. found out the other day the eviction for the last place she had was put onto her background check despite that it never went through and she proved the landlord (my great uncle mind you) lied about the reason for eviction in court. i don't get it. she found out today that in order to get that all fixed she would need to hire an attorney which 1) one that she contacted said they weren't sure they could really even do much about it 2) if she did hire the attorney she couldn't even afford to move afterwards.

"ditri why did your great uncle fuck over you and your mother?"

because my family is a fucking nightmare that's why. you know why he dicked us over? because he didn't want responsibility for the property anymore. because he wanted money. because nobody in my family actually gives a shit about each other really. because he's a republican christian fascist like the rest of them who believes 5g rays kill you. because he once said if he ever met a gay person he would beat the shit out of them. dare i go on? btw the place she was evicted from belonged to her grandmother and was built specifically for someone with physical disability which is why she was going to buy it from him. hurray.

so now the whole plan of my mother moving out and leaving us the place we currently have, which would have worked out fantastically for my friend and i, is down the fucking drain. to make shit worse? my friend also possibly has an eviction on their background check. why? because their last landlord, 1 of 2, is a fucking sociopathic prick who filed against them because they started seeing a friend of his. not joking.

the full story? my friend broke up with their long term boyfriend earlier this year. ended up hooking up with this guy them and all 3 of their roommates were mutual friends with. 2 of the 3 owned the house they all lived in. well them and the guy developed feelings for each other and it started evolving in that direction. the one roommate/home owner got pissed off because the guy my friend started getting involved with was (yes i mean "was" in past tense now) his best friend. he got uncomfortable because "i had friends who started a relationship before in the past and then shut me out" and by that logic decided to completely sabotage the situation himself. of course what my friend and their new guy do is none of his business and he has no say in what they do whatsoever. but because he's a little immature control freak he decided oh you won't call it off? you won't let me control you? i'll file for an eviction against you! now i can have power over you! i'll ruin your fucking life!

even though he knew we were going to room together and they would be moved out within the next 2-3 months anyway :)

so understandably i got pissed. i know all 3 of their (past) roommates and i was kinda friends with all of them? not close but you know...i liked them enough right? and their home was safe to me. in fact it was the only place i've ever truly felt safe in my life. so now that's gone.

anyway i got high the night i was given the news and while also being frustrated by events happening at my job involving an unbearable coworker i went on facebook and made a little vague post (i know that's immature but allow me this just once please) that really could have applied to either dick homeowner or shit coworker. if the shoe fits i guess.

next morning dick homeowner saw the post and decided to respond back by making his own vague post. now to clarify the kind of person he is, you know that particular brand of generic white cisgender gay man who thinks being a petty cunt is a whole ass personality? yeah. so this wasn't new behavior for him. so anyway his way of firing a shot back at me was by literally making fun of me for being an abuse victim both in general and for being rejected by my mother for being transgender. wish i was kidding. so then i let my rage consume me and i said the most horribly nasty and vile shit i've ever said to another human being in my fucking life to him. then my bestie told his boyfriend (homeowner 2) and within the day the post got deleted and by next day both had unfriended/blocked me. el oh el. but after doing all that the mf exposed himself real hard and now several people who were friends with him hate him and are on our side (me and the bestie!!!). but yeah it kinda tanked my mental health a bit. recovering still tbh. but i did find out the pathetic creep went and showed my friend's new guy (because he was trying really hard to crawl back to him and rekindle their friendship despite it all) what i said in the way of, "l-look at this mean fucking shit dimitri said to me!!!! can you believe how cruel this is????" and he got laughed at!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!

but yeah now i have no idea what to do. i suppose now we have to go around applying to different properties and hope we snag one up that can actually work out for us and our 3 pets. somehow. despite the eviction. i'm so fucking stressed lol. i don't want to move again. i'm so sick of moving. i love my room too. and i love this town and it's the only place i've lived in where i actually feel idk. happy ig. but i gotta get this shit going bc i'm now basically 7 months into hrt and i neeeeed to get away from my mother. ugh. i'm so tired and this doesn't even cover everything that's been stressing me out. what else is new though.

#dreamy.txt #long post #vent

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diaryofanormalkid · 5 months

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One of my comments on the YouTube video:

“I went through this and couldn’t understand why he would pursue me when he wasn’t ready to commit at all. I originally asked his intentions and he said “I want to get to know you and see where things go.” Which in hindsight is very vague… I should’ve believed him when he said that, or further got him to elaborate. Because that’s could’ve meant as a friend also. As time went on, I realized he’s wasting my time because I would always check in to see where his head was at, but he never had any urgency to become a label or commit. He had every excuse under the sun like his past relationship trauma and said how he wants to get to know me better… but he had 3 months to get to know me, if you didn’t feel like you knew me well enough, then what have you been doing exactly in this time? And he couldn’t even admit he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship and that he wasted my time, he said “no I’m ready.” Just not with me, though, huh? What makes it worse is I have to see him every week (granted I attend church) and even though we agreed we’d stay friends/be on good terms, he seemingly changed his mind and decided he was going to ice me out of his life by not communicating with me at all. So my first 3 months of 2023 were not only wasted by him, but the next 9 months of 2023 were fricking terrible because of his actions afterwards and I spent 9 months trying to cope with how to navigate being around a bitter hater every week basically. Still currently navigating lol”

Another comment on the YouTube video:

“I’m so triggered 😂 this is literally word for word the exact conversation I had with my 3 month situationship before I decided I was gonna “break up” with him, even though we were never together 💀 like SPOT ON!!!!”

The video was so relatable and a pure masterpiece bc it was entirely my life in March. I was so disappointed by him genuinely and it sucks that it can’t just go away.

I think it’s so hard for me to move on because I see him so often/associated to so many ppl and he decided to just give me the cold shoulder. Like if he agreed to be civil, I’d be okay.

I literally have so much resentment towards him now because he ruined my entire 2023. Not kidding. My entire 2023 was consumed by him in some way, shape or form.

If it wasn’t spent with him, it was spent moving on from him or avoiding him or navigating our new dynamic. And I just regret ever giving him a chance when I never liked him in the first place.

He was never my type and I think I felt like I should give him a chance out of pity. Obviously I grew to like him but I immediately snapped out of it after having our last phone call.

It was just so telling of his character and I realized I had been fooled all along.

#situationships #my heart #played #I feel played #waste of time #wasted times

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adorerdraco · 4 years

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Whole Lot of Red ✧ Draco x Reader

Summary: Sneaky meet ups with Draco where nobody knows the two of you have a thing for the other until the day he sees someone flirting with you and lets his jealousy get the best of him. AU where its around seventh year and Voldermort never existed so Draco never got traumatized !

Warnings: light smut/hinted smut, jealous/possessive-ish Draco, a little more mature themes

Words: 1.8K

A/N: aging him UP for this one ! and making draco a tad rude bc the way i picture it is just WOW also i like to try to change up the way i write him sometimes :) also couldn’t find this gif anywhere so if it looks low quality its bc i made it >:( i want so badly for him to walk up to me like thaaaat anyways I HOPE THIS IS GOOD

It was a funny thing, feelings, and the way they blossomed in places they had no business being in. Those very specific stomach churning butterflies and skipped heartbeats were unmistakably there every time you found yourself in the Slytherin Prince’s presence. It was a shame really, you had never even given him the time of day prior to the time you were forced to work on a Charms project together but now here you were; completely and undeniably entranced by him.

Your group of y/h friends and you were gathered in the foyer outside the Great Hall, the doors wide open and welcoming students for the lunch that was going to be served in just a few minutes. Your friends were lost in conversation and you couldn’t be happier as your focus darted around the room hoping to spot the platinum mop of hair.

Out of sheer coincidence, a boisterous group of Slytherins had entered the foyer from the direction of the dungeons, all talking loudly and jokingly pushing each other as they came into view. Your eyes landed on the laughing blond in the middle, his toothy grin almost twinkling under the sunlight that streamed in through the large medieval windows. His gaze wandered around the room for a moment before stopping on you, the smile on his face morphing into a smug knowing smirk.

A shivering weakness shot up your legs, your heart doing somersaults in your stomach as you recalled the previous night. It involved you sneaking out of the common room to meet Draco in a dark and hidden corner of the castle in the dead hours of night, his Prefect duties long finished and a looming fear of getting caught by Filch. It was you being backed into said corner, his body flush against your quivering one, a strong hand clamped tightly over your mouth to muffle the whimpers that unwillingly left your mouth as his lips left trails of wet kisses along the exposed skin of your neck and chest. It was his knee in between your legs, pushing you harder against the wall as your hands got tangled in his hair while he held your face in place by your jaw, whispering compliments and desires into your ear with kisses to it in between, smiling coyly to himself when he heard the small gasps of pleasure coming from you.

All this was because of a simple charms project, the two of you forced to spend a couple weeks together where it was constant bickering and malicious teasing until the tension between the two of you had gotten so overwhelmingly strong it was suffocating. It had gotten so unbearable that one day, Draco finally had enough as you were reading something out of your textbook for him, suddenly knocking it out of your hands and scooting closer to you on the shared bench, his minty breath hot against your face and darkening gray eyes flickering from your lips to your widened e/c’s as he whispered a breathless, “can I kiss you?”

Post study make out sessions quickly turned into sneaking away from friends throughout the day which finally led into slipping out of common rooms to meet at night. No one ever noticed nor caught on to the two of you, the both of you keeping it a secret so you wouldn’t have to deal with people’s undesired two cents.

As much as you enjoyed the hands on affection, you found yourself liking the intimacy afterwards even more. You looked forward to sitting down somewhere with him, his arms wrapped warmly around your body as you asked about each other’s day that branched out into talking about anything and everything. You would skip back to your room afterwards, smiling from ear to ear with your head in the clouds until one day it dawned on you; you were in a sticky situation of constantly wondering “what are we?”

You never dared to ask him though, terrified of his answer and that he would leave you in the dust for even bringing it up. In all your years at Hogwarts, you’ve never seen Draco with a girlfriend, he was the most well-known boy at school, an arrogant and proud Slytherin, a skilled quidditch seeker, and an irresistible flirt. But never having the title of ‘the boyfriend’, despite the countless girls that hung off his arms nearly begging for his attention.

“Y/N,” your friend broke you out of your thoughts, a sly smile on her face as she elbowed your side. “Your little friend is headed this way.”

You looked at her in confusion, turning your attention towards the tall Gryffindor, Trevor, that was walking towards your small group, a bright smile on his face as his eyes stayed trained on you. Your friends giggled teasingly, already knowing what his presence would ensue. He was nice, but annoying as he relentlessly flirted with you every time you had your Transfigurations class with him. You just chose to ignore him even though he always ended up sitting next to you or around you no matter how many times you moved. He was someone who you complained restlessly about to your group which caused them to laugh and poke fun every time he would come up to you around them.

“Y/L/N!” He said happily, attempting to give you a hug as he came up to you which you only begrudgingly returned with a lazy side hug. He took your hand, leading you a few feet away from your group so he could talk to you privately. “I was wondering if you wanted to meet up at the library after lunch to study for our test later this week?”

“Oh,” you trailed off, trying to come up with an excuse but in the midst of your thoughts you remembered you had already made plans with Draco. Speaking of, you had forgotten he was only across the room, unbeknownst to you that he was staring hard at you and your classmate. “I’m busy today.”

“How about after tomorrow?” He asked again hopefully. “We can even go to Hogsmeade after, butterbeers on me!”

You frowned slightly, knowing that this was not a friendly collegiate conversation, but another ploy to try and get you to go out with him. His attempts were increasing week by week and you denied him every single time yet he never got the hint.

“Still busy,” you smiled at him, hoping that if you were to appear nice, it would soften the continuous blow of rejection.

“I’m not going to stop asking until you say yes,” he sighs, hands slipping into the pockets of his robe as he longingly looked down at you. “You might as well give in.”

His hand came up towards your hair, a skinny finger brushing through a strand of your hair as he pulled a small fluff of lint from your robes before flicking it into the air. You stood frozen in place, the gesture being painstakingly too much for your comfort and borderline creepy coming from him.

Draco felt himself shake with anger, the sight of you smiling at the Gryffindor and that he was running his fingers through your hair made his blood boil. Greeting the git with a hug. You being led away from your friends by your hand. He hated the sight. The thought of any man other than him being so close to you made him feel sick to his stomach, a rage sparking from deep within him he never even knew existed. He watched as you looked up at the boy above you, a weird expression on your face that instantly let him know you were uncomfortable.

That was it for him. He was seeing red as he threw his schoolbooks into Crabbe’s hands, pushing aggressively past a pair of boys that were in his way as he power walked towards you and your classmate.

“Didn’t you ever learn to keep your hands to yourself?” Draco called out condescendingly in his haughty accent, his scowl deepening as he approached. Trevor’s head snapped towards Draco, a frown etching itself onto his face.

“Sod off, Malfoy,” Trevor sneered. “Go find someone else to bother.”

“Take your own advice, filth,” Draco shot back.

“Filth? You’re one to talk,” the Gryffindor chortled. By now, everyone within a few feet of the debacle was watching, entertained at the argument that was beginning to unfold, your friends and Draco’s goons staring oddly at the encounter. You only stood there, looking between both boys towering over you in a daze that left you paralyzed in your spot. You were so close to telling off Trevor before Draco came, feeling grateful at your delayed reaction now that he was there defending you.

“I’m not going to ask you again,” Draco threatened, stepping in between you and Trevor as he spoke. “Leave Y/N alone, or I swear you’ll regret it.”

“Why? You think she’d pick you over me?” He snickered. “We’ll see who’s the one feeling regretful when you find her making that decision.”

By now, Trevor had stepped up to the spiteful Slytherin, getting in his face with a patronizing smile. Draco’s face twisted up in anger as his temper got worse, shoving his competition back with the side of his forearm, feeling satisfied when Trevor stumbled back.

“Funny,” he laughed darkly, “I seem to remember her already making that decision every single day while we’re snogging.”

Multiple gasps can be heard throughout the foyer, including your own as you gaped up at the blond, his eyes staying focused on Trevor as he looked taken aback.

“You trying to say she’s your girlfriend?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Your legs nearly gave out below you at his response. This was everything you had been hoping for recently, except not like this. But that still didn’t stop you from feeling giddy, however, the bliss of his revelation filling your entire body with glee. The ‘what are we?’ question being ripped from your mind with relief.

“Is that true?” Trevor asks you, a devastated look glazing over his eyes as you slowly nodded. He gives Draco one more pointed look, bumping shoulders with him before he stalked off into the Great Hall in a rush, everyone scattering around to go inside as well now that the show was over.

Draco turned to peer down at you, fury draining from his body as he admired you. He cupped your cheek, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on the opposite side of your face before whispering hotly into your ear.

“If he tries anything with you again, let me know and I swear I’ll deal with him,” he pulls back from you, smiling at you innocently. “I’ll see you later, darling.”

And with that, he sends you a wink, turning around to saunter over to his eager minions while your friends immediately rush towards you with a million questions that you would inevitably have to answer. This was not at all how you expected the day to turn out, not in the slightest.

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atlabeth · 3 years

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warmth - zuko x fem!reader

summary: the two times he notices her shivering and the one time he does something about it.

a/n: lmaoo we have been in a DROUGHT my people. i have barely given you any content this whole month and i feel bad. i wrote this out over the course of a few hours after getting the idea in the shower. i did not proofread. i am not sorry. enjoy.

and NO that end part is not dirty it is simply two kids sharing a bed for warmth bc they got cute lil crushes on each other 🔫🔫🔫🔫

wc: 1.6k

warning(s): this is pure fluff bbbbbb

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three times.

It happened three times before Zuko was finally able to get over himself and have a real, face to face, one on one conversation with the one person he hadn’t been able to get out of his head.

Y/N. It was a name that had made a home in his mind, belonging to a girl that had made a home in his heart. He knew that she was a waterbender from the Northern Tribe and that she had joined the team after the Siege of the North, but apart from that, her life was a mystery to him. She was a mystery to him.

It was pathetic. How could he become so enraptured with a girl when he didn’t even know the first thing about her? When he had spent the past couple of months fighting against her, trying everything in his power to hurt her? When she had no idea he even thought about her that way?

Sometimes Zuko questioned himself, but then he caught a glimpse of her — the gleam of her hair, the way her eyes crinkled at the edges when she laughed, the fierceness with which she fought rivalled only by the way she cared for her injured friends afterwards — and he laughed inwardly.

There was no way he couldn’t feel that way about her. She was simply enchanting.

But there was only one thing he questioned more than his affections — why in the name of Agni could he not just walk up and start a conversation with her? There was no one else in the world that made him as nervous, as flushed, as completely incapable of basic speech as Y/N, and it drove him insane.

It drove him insane that it took three times.

~~~

The first time he noticed her shivering, it wasn’t on purpose.

Zuko was serving tea to everyone as they gathered around the campfire, chuckling as Aang recounted one of their earlier adventures, back when he was still trying to capture the Avatar. Thinking about his past, who he used to be, was painful, but it gave him all the more reason to be thankful for where he was now.

He wasn’t as focused on Aang’s story as he was on Y/N, though. She could hardly keep her thoughts to herself, interrupting every couple of seconds to add a detail that Aang forgot or give her own input on the events that he was describing. He started to frown as he noticed her shivering despite sitting right next to the fire — Zuko didn’t even realize how distracted he was until he felt someone hitting his arm.

“Hey!” He was snapped out of his reverie by the harshness of Katara’s voice, angrily gesturing at the broken teacup and now spilled tea all over Haru.

“Oh— I am so sorry,” he stammered as he crouched down and started to pick up the pieces on the ground. “Are you okay?”

“It’s just.. really hot tea,” Haru muttered with a small wince. “No big deal.”

“You’re right. It’s not a big deal.” Y/N raised her hand and with a small, fluid movement, she bent the liquid out of the fabric and formed it into a tiny sphere in the air. “See? Good as new. And you’re not even burnt.”

Haru chuckled and pulled at his tunic, giving Y/N a grateful nod.

“Can a sky bison drink tea?” She mused as she moved the liquid orb around in the air.

“I don’t think so,” Aang said with a small laugh.

“Shame we have to waste it.” Y/N bent it away from the group and let it fall to the ground, sinking into the rock below them. “Zuko can always make more though, right?” She said with a hopeful smile.

“Uh, yeah. Of course.”

“See, guys? No harm, no foul. You’re the best, Zuko.” She gave him an overexaggerated wink then began to pester Aang to get back to the story, leaving Zuko to continue handing out tea and keep his shaking hands as steady as possible.

She really had no idea the effect she had on him.

~~~

The second time? It was definitely on purpose.

The night was unusually cold, even with the bonfire blazing in the middle, and he found his eyes trained once more on Y/N. This time she was the storyteller, giving them all a taste of Northern Water Tribe culture as she recounted a bedtime story she was told as a child. She had a whole arsenal of character voices at her disposal, keeping everyone thoroughly entertained despite the numerous lines she forgot. Zuko didn’t even realize he was staring until Sokka elbowed him in the elbow, gesturing at her with a nod of his head and a cocky grin.

“What are you doing, just gawking at her like that?”

“Wh— gawking? I am not gawking. I’m— I’m just listening to her.”

“Yeah, sure. But I’m pretty sure Appa could start talking right now and you wouldn’t notice because you are hopelessly into her.” He gestured at Zuko’s eyes with his hand then in Y/N’s direction. “Gawking.”

“I— I am not!” He protested, tearing his eyes away from Y/N’s animated face to give Sokka one of his signature glares. He lowered his voice to a whisper to ensure that no one would hear them. “I’m not into her, I’m not gawking, I am appreciating her storytelling.”

“Uh huh, yeah.” Sokka looked at her and grinned before glancing back at Zuko. “If you’re not into her, then I can ask her out, right?”

Zuko didn’t respond, simply kept glaring at him in hopes that it would intimidate him into backing down so he wouldn’t have to say anything and risk embarrassing himself.

Sokka chuckled and held up his hands. “Alright, geez, I’m just joking. But maybe use some of that fire to keep it going? Looks like she’s cold.”

Almost immediately, he broke eye contact and fueled the fire with a simple blast. Y/N shot him a grateful smile and nodded as she continued her story, and Zuko noticed her hands falling back down into her lap from their former place on her arms.

No amount of fire could’ve caused as much warmth as her smile. He was sure of that.

~~~

There was no way he could miss it the third time. After all, she was the only one there.

Zuko hadn’t been able to sleep so he ended up outside, and there she was — sitting there, all alone in the middle of the temple grounds, shivering quietly with a moonless night sky as her backdrop. Before he could second guess himself, Zuko started walking over.

“Hey.” Y/N greeted him without even looking up as she pulled her arms around herself, bringing her legs up to her chest in an effort to conserve all the warmth she could.

“Hey.” Zuko took a seat on the ground next to her and crossed his legs. “Are you cold?”

She let out an airy chuckle and nodded. “Strange, isn’t it? I grow up surrounded by snow and ice and I’m perfectly fine, but after a few months away a couple of breezes are tearing me down. I don’t get it.”

“You’ve been shivering a lot lately,” he said after a beat of silence. Y/N raised an eyebrow and gave him a wry smile.

“What, have you been looking?”

That sent him stammering. “I-I— yes? I mean— no, I’ve noticed, but I’m not actively looking at you, that’s weird, I’m not— I mean—”

Y/N threw her head back and laughed, the same laugh that sent flutter bats through his stomach and made his heart burst with happiness. She set her hand on his and squeezed, giving him a gentle look that almost immediately ceased his rambling. “Zuko, it’s alright. It’s… nice that you’ve noticed. Like you’re looking out for me or something.”

He opened his mouth to respond but couldn’t find his voice — he was sure his cheeks were as red as his tunic, just at the simple touch of her hand — and it only got worse as she placed her other hand on top of it.

“You’re warm,” Y/N muttered. “Like… intensely warm.”

“Is that bad?” He wondered aloud, preemptively panicking. “Do you want me to turn it off? I can’t turn it off, but I could find a way somehow—”

“Thank you,” she interrupted with another small laugh, “but no. I don’t need you to uh, turn off your firebending. That already happened once. But you’re adorable to think of me like that.”

The two of them stared into each other’s eyes, the air between them heavy with something she couldn’t quite place. Y/N pursed her lips and bit back a growing smile as she glanced at the ground.

“This is, uh… really helping. With the cold, I mean. And I was… I guess I was just…” Another laugh. “I was just wondering if you’d maybe want to spend the night with me? Just because my room is especially freezing, and you’re so warm, and I think I would sleep a lot better if I—”

Now it was his turn to interrupt her rambling. There was something about her getting so flustered about him in the same way he did around her that made this easier. “I’d love to.”

“Great,” she breathed, the same smile from before returning just a little bit brighter. Y/N stood up and they began their walk back into the temple, hands still intertwined, warmth emanating between the two of them.

Three times.

Two strikes.

One success.

And that was all he needed.

#avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #atla #avatar fic #atla fic #avatar the last airbender fic #zuko #zuko avatar #zuko atla #zuko fic #zuko x reader #zuko x y/n #zuko x you #zuko x reader fic #avatar x reader #avatar the last airbender x reader

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mypimpademia · 3 years

Text

— Can't Get You Outta My Mind

Bakugo x black!reader

TW: Swearing

Note: this felt so good to write bc I haven't written shit in soooo long. Hope yall enjoy🙏🏾💖 btw the song linked does refer to women but this fic is gn

— BAKUGO.

⇶ The moment that it dawned on him that he couldn't stop thinking of you no matter what, he felt like an insane person

⇶ Katsuki isn't stupid, far from it... that just doesn't apply in terms of romance.

⇶ Everytime the thought of him seeing you in a romantic light crossed his mine, or anytime Bakusquad insisted he liked you, he denied it heavily

⇶ I mean, he didn't think he liked you when the thought crossed his mind at first, so he just kept telling himself that he didn't over and over

⇶ But gradually, his thoughts would with nothing but you, you, and you

⇶ It was so unlike him and he hated it, especially because he kind of (really*) enjoyed thinking of you

⇶ It only got worse the more you hung around him

⇶ You could be doing the bare minimum and this boys hands start sweating

⇶ Just walk into the room and he's a mess, your vibe alone sends him into an emotional frenzy

⇶ It got to a point where he couldn't take it anymore, and flat out just started ignoring you one day

⇶ The first day, you thought he was just being moody, as he does, and gave him some space

⇶ But then he did it again the next day... then the next... and the day after that... and so on

⇶ You'd still catch him taking glances at you in class, but he'd always look away and turn away from you the moment you noticed

⇶ After a week you were fed up because you knew you hadn't done anything wrong

⇶ You tried to stop him to talk in the hallway, and he literally just turned around and walked away from you without saying anything, knowing his ass had class in the opposite direction💀

⇶ You ended up having to corner him in his own dorm

"Alright Katsuki, you gon' tell me what's been going on or what?" You asked Bakugo, tapping your foot against the hardwood.

He turned away from you, as he'd been doing all week.

"Don't know what you're talking about." He said plainly.

⇶ At that point, you decided there was no use in being angry

⇶ So you decided to poke it out of him

⇶ Especially when you realized that he was turning pink all the way to his ears

"Oh, I see." You said, making him turn back towards you, only slightly, and raise his eyebrow.

"You see? See what?" He asked, confused. You couldn't possibly know that he'd been doing all this because he didn't want to admit that he's lovesick for you. So what the hell were you seeing?

"This is over a special someone, ain't it?"

And that's when his panic start to set in.

⇶ The room filled with the scent of carmel, and Bakugo wiped his palms against his grey sweats

⇶ And that's exactly when you realized you hit the jackpot

"Oh? So it is? Who is it? C'mon you can tell me, I won't tell nobody." You teased, walking up to him and placing your hands on his shoulders.

"Hm, is it Mina? You sure hangout with her a lot." You said.

"No." He answered shortly.

"Jirou? Uraraka? Momo?" You pushed.

"No, no, and no. And Uraraka? Who the hell is that?" Bakugo retorted.

You loved your girl Uraraka, but you had to stiffle a laugh at the way he had no clue who she was, despite being in the same class as her.

"Okay, okay. Maybe a guy? Kirishima? Kaminari? Maybe even Ser-"

"Oh my God, it's fucking you."

⇶ Both of you were equally surprised at his sudden reveal, and the entire room went dead silent, aside from light nervous crackling emitting from the blondes palms

⇶ Bakugo was beet red, and didn't even look at you before he picked you up, and threw you over his shoulder

"Get out, get out, get out–"

⇶ Set you down outside of his dorm, and immediately went to shut the door afterwards

⇶ But you caught the door with your foot and put all your weight against it trying to get in

⇶ Of course, Bakugo is stronger so it did virtually nothing, the only reason you got in was because he let you since he didn't wanna crush you in the door

You stumbled through the door and damn near fell on your face before catching yourself.

"Nigga, what is wrong with you-"

"Please just leave." Bakugo pleaded, voice high pitched, still cherry red, and not facing you.

You sucked your teeth and rolled your eyes.

'I gotta do everything myself.' You thought.

Walking around him, and standing facing him, he looked so embarrassed that he was almost on the verge of tears.

You held his face in his hands, making him impossibly redder.

If he were a cartoon character, his heart would've been bursting out of his chest when you kissed him.

⇶ Even after that, Bakugo was still acting like a lovesick puppy around you, and everyone could tell

⇶ But he wasn't avoiding you anymore, quite the opposite actually

⇶ Most of the time, he could actually be found looming around you, fingers intertwined with yours and staring at you with hearts in his eyes

⇶ No one was sure if he'd get out of the trance-like state you put him under, and honestly he wasn't sure either but they all accepted it eventually

Taglist; @myhoodacademia @katsuflossy @minruko @ecao @hawklmaoo @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @lilsparkyswife @mindofess @kqtsukisgf @katsuphobic @angiebug101 @solar3lunar @milliumizoomi @asaincy @silkylious @blackweebtrash @morosis-haze @cloudytamaki @sunshineszn @katsumiiii @racistareversa

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

Note

Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!

You owe them nothing

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3200 (ish)

Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.

---------

You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.

Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.

You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”

But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.

They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.

They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.

Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.

Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.

You couldn’t win.

You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.

They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.

Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.

The older you got, the worse it was.

You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.

It was that you were so lonely.

You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.

But this was an opinionated world.

You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.

“I got a really great job, guys.”

“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.

“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.

You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”

You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”

“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”

You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.

“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”

Then the line went dead.

You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”

Of course, you would never say that.

See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.

Right?

Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.

Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.

It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.

Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.

Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.

No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.

It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.

Right?

No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.

At least, that was your point of view.

The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.

Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.

He knew that feeling too well.

The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.

And Bucky found comfort in that.

You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.

See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.

There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.

Right?

You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.

You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”

“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”

You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”

“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”

Family speech it is.

“Dad -”

“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”

“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”

Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”

There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.

At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.

You never snap.

“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”

“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”

Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.

“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”

You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”

“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”

“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”

You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.

But fuck did that feel amazing.

You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -

“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”

“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”

“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one.”

“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”

It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.

It’s going to be so much worse now.

I can never talk to them again.

Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?

Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”

You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”

“Y/n -”

“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”

“Will you at least let me try?”

You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.

But what if he left you too?

You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.

“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”

You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’

He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”

Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”

“You weren’t being stupid”

“And neither are you.”

You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”

Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.

The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.

“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”

You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.

“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, y/n.”

“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.

Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”

“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”

Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.

“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”

“But they’re my family.”

“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”

“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”

“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”

----------

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @buckys-blue-eyes @peggycarter-steverogers @broadwaybabe18 @buckfics @thatfangirl42 @abitgryffindorky @barnesplums @mardema @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @im-sick-of-failing @strawberrimae @sup--ernova

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

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The Witch

Bucky x Witch!Reader

Summary: being a witch in modern times is not easy, you regret a spell you casted but have to deal with the consequences.

Word count: 800

Warnings: fluff, Light witchcraft, cursing(the non-witchy type), surprise character appearance

A/N: this is the second out of three drabbles I am doing for @syntheticavenger 8k Spooky Challenge. The full 3/3 miniseries is called The Narnia Witch! I'll post the third and final part tomorrow on Halloween/Samhain! Lmk if you want to be tagged! the reader is a witch and she is also pagan.

A/N2: I did not expect the loving response to this fic bc honestly i felt like it was crap, and i am not fond on how this part turned out but here it is. there isn't a lot of bucky here but there will be in the next one.

No one is allowed to repost my writing, steal, copy or translate my work! The only place my writing can be in is on my own blog! Plagiarism is a crime.

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"It's your fault and you know that." You said quietly but you knew he could hear you, he always did- the bastard. You whirled your tea, sitting outside- you know they will come.

The moment you drank the potion you knew you couldn't go back- you just didn't expect to be so close to him, you didn't expect him to be an avenger. You whistled to yourself in thought, until the dark clouds faded away and you could see the sunlight, you figured you'd give them clear skies to fly through.

Soulmates are a tricky thing, as a witch you know more about them than normal humans- but the knowledge is what makes it worse. You had no idea if you'd make a mess out of a perfect plan, you'll only know it afterwards. Nothing is guaranteed, and love's a fragile little flame that could burn out. That was why you were against the knowing, the so easily finding out through your powers, you tried to push him out from your dreams when you knew he was trying to reach you- but you gave into temptation and you knew now he was coming for you.

With your bags already packed you waited until you heard the engines of their jet and a suit of armor landed on your lawn.

"Did I reach Sabrina the witch?" You smirked at him and shook your head.

"I'm not a teenager, so make your offer already." Tony was taken aback, you were too ready for him, too calm.

"So you can read minds?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I am just clever." You shrugged and looked upwards where you saw a redhead behind the reins, no doubt ready with a ballistic weapon, "Sit and talk, Stark."

You nodded and moved him at will to sit in the chair in front of you."

"Okay, fine." He tried to hide it but you could see his curiosity, "we think you could help us and we want you on our team, no field missions needed."

"Then what would I do for you?" you were curious now, surprised Bucky wasn't here instead.

"You're clearly some sort of a witch- I'm assuming you're a natural one- we have a little scarlet witch on our team and we think you could help her understand and advance her powers." You nodded along, your choice was made the moment you stepped foot in James' room and saw him.

"Fine." You got up and pushed him back to where he stood before, you fixed your hair and changed your outfit before smiling at him, "See you there."

Then you were gone.

You opened your eyes to blue ones staring back at you as you stood in Bucky's room again.

"I had a feeling you wouldn't come in the jet," he smiled and you had to hold back a mirroring smile of your own. "Stark owes me 10 bucks."

"You're quite clever." You noted.

"Thank you, doll, now what do you say we go to see the others."

"I guess I have to." You knew you'll hate yourself for this later, but you felt the urge to hold his hand. You grabbed his hand, and teleported yourselves to the living room. You'd never been there before, but he has. Looking over at him you knew he felt something, a golden string he didn't quite understand yet.

"What did you do?" he was coming back to himself and you retreated your hand, you knew it was tough for first timers.

"Sorry, it'll get easier with time."

"Are you the witch?" another redhead with an accent drew your attention, you smiled at her nodding.

"I'm assuming you're the baby witch?" she nodded.

"I'm Wanda, what's your name?" you gave her your name and you felt his stare on you.

"That's a pretty name, doll."

"Thank you, James." You felt your face heating up and you wished you had a spell to prevent it.

"Bucky," he corrected you and you smiled.

"Bucky." It felt right, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

•

Since then, you adjusted to the dynamic in the tower. You disappeared and reappeared as you pleased- but you were more willing to stay if it meant seeing Bucky more and Wanda was a delight. Bucky and you had been getting closer, sitting together at dinner and talking at night- nothing had happened yet, you wanted it to be slow and natural as hard as it was.

You were mixing things up in the kitchen, cabinets opening and herbs mixing together. You promised not to burn the kitchen again, you were making it up to Tony with a rosemary sleeping potion.

You felt movement behind you and groaned when you recognized who it is.

"Loki, you son of a bitch I'm going to kill you."

•

Taglist: : @callmeluna @sstanbarnes @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes @easygoingtheatre @that-one-person @justab-eautifulmess @onceupona-happilyeverafter @wipplogg @supraveng @ayybtch @kitkatd7 @chrissquares @make-me-imagine @jessalyn-jpeg @learisa @fanfictiontrash9 @intothesoul

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folkloreguk · 3 years

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French Class [7]

A/N: AAAH I apologize in advance for this part bc I feel like it's kinda messy :/ I hope you still like it though?? Lmk what you think! x

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, angst, H/N is a jealous and drunk fool :/

words: ~ 3.7 k

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taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @yeostars, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon, @tr-wemoon, @prismwon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek, @r-eadings

H/N’s POV:

Maybe I’ll come ‘round, your text had said. How did you expect him to enjoy the party if you wouldn’t be there? H/N used to make fun of guys who ran after girls like lap dogs. And yet, over time he had become one of them, if not worse. Every text, every possibility of seeing you had him on the edge of his seat in excitement. There was nothing he cared about more than spending time with you. When at first it had been sexual attraction – an obsession with your body and the way you turned him on with the most subtle words and touches – it had changed into something entirely different. The relentless hunger was now occasional, ever so often interrupted by a dire wish to see you smile. A wish to hold you, and to kiss you out of the blue – something he wasn’t allowed to do if it wasn’t for the two of you hooking up. The stupid agreement you had made was starting to feel like torture instead of heaven. He was lucky his poker face was professional, and he had years of practice in flirting and sounding casual even if his heart was beating up to his neck. There was no other way he could have concealed how infatuated he was with you, otherwise.

“H/N, come help me set up the snacks!” Korain shouted from the kitchen. H/N’s friends were throwing a party at their place, and he had shown up early to assist them in preparing everything. With you on his mind – as always – he trotted into the kitchen where a row of bowls was standing out on the counter.

“Just open and pour the bags into the bowls, will you? I still need to get ready,” Korain said. “Chohee said she might be here a bit earlier, and I don’t want to look like this when she’s going to look amazing.”

Korain gestured to his bed hair he probably hadn’t brushed once since getting up and then tweaked the fabric of his sweatpants and his old, baggy tee. H/N wanted to argue that if Chohee really liked Korain, she wouldn’t mind seeing him this way. H/N, for one, couldn’t care less what you wore tonight. As long as you showed up at all, he would be beaming. Strictly speaking, at times when he got to see you wake up, sleep in your eyes and your clothes in a disarray, it spun his head in ways no little black dress could ever do. When he saw you make breakfast in his kitchen, in his shirt, he could barely contain himself.

His daydreams of you were once naughty and gave him boners at random times of the day – and don’t get me wrong, they still were, sometimes – but it was when the domestic dreams had begun, that he realized he was screwed. He didn’t need anybody to tell him how he felt, nor did he have some crazy moment of clarity. There came a point in his days where he didn’t just notice his non-sexual daydreams of you, he invited them. His brain was imagining things like setting up a shared table for dinner or kissing the back of your hand in the dark of a movie theater or playing you a cheesy song that reminded him of you. He wanted to hold your hands from across the library table and have his arm around your shoulders to show you off to the entire campus. But none of it could be real. It all went against the rules.

“Will Y/N be here too?” Korain asked and pulled H/N out of his daydreams. God, I hope so, he thought.

“She said she might be here,” H/N answered.

“Chohee’s always talking about her. And you. About how she thinks Y/N has a crush on you, but she always denies it, saying you’re just friends. Maybe you could try and bring that up tonight?” Korain said, as if discussing your feelings for someone was as easy at conversing about the weather. “Alright, I really have to go get ready now.”

“I’ve been thinking, I might- “ said H/N, but Korain only pat his shoulder.

“Let’s talk later, at the party, okay?” he said, and walked out the kitchen. I might like her, H/N had been meaning to say. I might like Y/N. No. I’m in love with her. No maybes. He could bet all his money on it, that’s how sure he was. But his friend had disappeared and now it was on him to wait until the party began. Left alone with his thoughts.

Of course, you would deny having a crush on him. Because you probably didn’t, he thought. Wouldn’t you search for a smart guy, someone your mother would approve of, and someone who understood your endless talks of nerdy topics? Although sometimes he had no idea what you were on about, H/N was captivated whenever you gave him a lecture about something you had learned. And when he asked you to explain something one more time, you never hesitated, or judged him for it. Your kindness made his heart swell, and only when the first crowd of party guests arrived did he realize he had spent half an hour daydreaming about you. Again.

With the way he kept the front door in his sight at all times, one could have wondered if he was a highly wanted criminal on the run, afraid the cops could barge in at any moment. Some of the girls who tried to flirt with him even asked him about it, but he wasn’t going to confess he was waiting for the love of his life to walk through that very door. With little conviction he returned their flirting. He hated himself for the thoughts he had. Thinking that should you not arrive, he could console himself by taking one of the other girls home instead. They didn’t deserve to be used like that, but he was bitter and so, so in love with you. It was hard to pay any attention to the other girls at all, no matter how sweet they were being.

Flirting back at them, however, came to him as easily as the words to his favorite songs. It posed no challenge, like it did with you. When he had to try hard to make your cheeks heat up, or to lure out a shy smile instead of your genius, quick-witted remarks. There was nothing more exciting to him than to invent new ways in which he could make you flustered.

Right now, it was his turn to be flustered. Because his ex had approached him and was reciting some of her favorite memories she had of their relationship. “Remember our third date…the one that ended with us squished in that tiny dressing room at Victoria’s Secret?” she asked and blinked at him expectantly. He went along with her words and replied something not too direct, but still enough to make her giggle like a little girl.

It was his own fault she was so intent on talking to him. While you had been on your date with the economy-major-guy, H/N had tried to contact his ex again. In hindsight, he thought it pathetic and extremely stupid at that. Nothing would have come of it, anyway. Not while he felt the way he did about you. So it was only lucky his ex hadn’t been free that night. Then he had gotten dangerously close to drowning his feelings in the vodka in his kitchen. Thankfully he had refrained from this, too, because you had shown up afterwards and you had ended up having mind-blowing sex, and he knew for a fact that had he been drunk, he would have blurted out some crazy sentiments he would have regretted saying in the morning.

Sometimes he tried to signal you his emotions, ever so subtly. Waving off your claims when you called him the campus fuckboy or telling you he wasn’t really hooking up with anyone else besides you, it all was an attempt at making you see what he felt for you. He would tell you that you looked pretty, not just so you would understand he liked you, but simply because it had to be said. When he regarded you fixing your hair in the mirror with a frown, he could barely believe you didn’t know how beautiful you were. And he had gotten closer to you during sex. Whether it was voluntary or an instinct that came with being in love, he wasn’t certain. There was nothing like kissing away your moans while he fucked you into a mattress.

He was about to text you – the urge to see you getting unbearable – but didn’t want to sound clingy when you strut through the door. No slow motion or fan blowing your hair around dramatically would have made you look more perfect. The ridiculous pang he felt in his heart when he saw you hug another guy only reminded him of how whipped he was. He reminded himself that he had no right to be jealous. You weren’t his girlfriend, after all. When you then made eye contact with him and made a beeline for him, he was worried he’d be short of words. He needed to pull himself together.

“Hi,” you said, and your smile was magical enough to stir up the butterflies in H/N’s stomach. You pointed at the empty spot on the sofa between H/N and another guy you didn’t know. “Is this seat taken?”

“No,” the guy said, before H/N had time to speak, and the stranger smiled at you in a way that could only mean he wanted to get to know you. But H/N caught your attention by swiftly putting his arm around your shoulder, making the stranger back up and divert his eyes the other way. He had never meant to be the jealous type. It was just that you were finally here, and he was so happy to see you, he couldn’t bare the thought of you running off again. Only when you gave him a funny look H/N realized he needed to calm down if he didn’t want you to get annoyed.

“So, what did I miss?” you asked.

His ex was approaching from across the room again, and before he could have stopped his mouth, he said the stupidest thing. “Kiss me.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but he was intent on it. “Please. Kiss me. Quick.”

There was a strange emotion that crept over your face, and you seemed to have no clue why he was so set on it. Nevertheless, you did as he asked. Your mouth tasted of watermelon bubblegum, so sweet, so perfect, and he was flying on cloud nine for the short while it lasted. It wasn’t real, though. The thought stabbed his brain like a dagger. When you pulled apart you were grinning, and his ex wasn’t in the room anymore.

“Care to explain why we just did that?” you asked. “You’re diminishing your chances with the ladies in the room.”

He rolled his eyes. “My ex has been trying to get with me again, and I hoped she’d let off if she saw us kiss. And she did.” Then his eyebrows raised. “What do you mean by my chances with the ladies? I was hoping we could go home together.”

“I can’t tonight,” you said, and he had to fight to keep his face straight. “I’ve got to get back to studying first thing tomorrow morning. I just came here to hang out, for a while.”

“Oh,” was all he could muster without sounding like you were ripping out his heart. It wasn’t even your fault. He would never try and get between you and your studies. But what if he could be there? What if he could be the one staying in bed, watching as you climbed up early to bury your head in books? He’d watch you through tired eyelashes, and you’d ridicule him for being so starry-eyed when looking at you. Later he’d bring you tea or coffee and remind you to take a break to eat. Was it ludicrous to obsess over something so domestic? He didn’t feel guilty for it.

All at once, your laugh pulled him out of his daydream, and into a funny story you told him. Over-consciously, he noted how your arm went around his shoulder lazily. And for a while you sat and talked. Occasionally a flirty remark slipped over your lips, and he would always return it. It was idiotic, but he was already worrying about how much he would miss you once you went home. Perhaps his plan of consoling himself with another girl hadn’t been so bad, after all. Just as he had finished the thought, a familiar face walked by and noticed him. The alcohol in his veins made her seem perfectly inviting as a distraction, for later.

“Oh, hey. Y/N, this is Minji,” he said, pointing at the girl. “Minji, this is Y/N. She’s…just a friend.”

Instantly, you removed your arm from his shoulder. There was hidden pain in your gesture, or was it merely wishful thinking on his side? Minji nodded and greeted you, but you only waved her off with a polite smile.

“I’m going to get a drink from the kitchen,” you announced, and before he could have stopped you, you had walked off. For a while he chatted with Minji, because he had no good reason to run after you that wouldn’t create awkwardness. His patience lasted approximately ten minutes. Luckily, a friend waved at Minji from across the room and she excused herself. Although he would never wish her ill, he was glad she was leaving.

Quickly, he made his way to the kitchen, where he found you talking to a guy. Without thinking, H/N smiled at you as he came up to you and wrapped his arm around your waist. He hadn’t meant to look so intimidating, and he hadn’t meant to be an asshole either. Yet, the guy across from you appeared scared and when you turned your attention to H/N, the guy slowly retracted into another circle of chatting people. Guilt crept in on H/N. He was tipsy, and although he knew his drunkenness wasn’t an excuse, it made him want you so much more. Perhaps it was also insecurity making him act crazy. There was always a glimmer of hope in the back of his mind, that you might just like him back. So long as you hadn’t confirmed the opposite, he would live in constant terror that someone else could steal your attention and make you theirs before he could.

“Come with me,” you muttered in his ear. Your hand was around his wrist, and he had no choice but to trot after you like a child. At first, he thought you were going to take him out the front door, but then you made a turn for the stairs. He didn’t need to be a fuckboy to know what it meant when a girl walked him up the stairs. From one second to the other, his mood changed into gleefulness. Had you changed your mind? The mere thoughts of what could happen upstairs could have given him a boner, had he pondered on them for longer. You said nothing, only driving him more insane by the second. The first open door was good enough for you, so you pulled him inside and closed it behind you. Smirking, he reached for your waist, ready to pull you into a kiss.

“Don’t,” you hissed, and he flinched at your angry tone. He kept his hands to himself, kneading them nervously. Shit. This was the clear opposite of what he had anticipated. The two of you had never fought, and hearing your voice, sounding so deeply upset, scared him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you asked.

“I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to make out- �� he said.

“I don’t mean just now. I mean…what is it you’re trying to achieve by acting all possessive over me in front of random guys? Pretending I belong to you? But the second a pretty girl is in front of you I’m just a friend, aren’t I? What’s that about?”

There was no explaining this, and he knew it. Yet, he would try, pathetically. “I just thought you didn’t want those guys bothering you.”

“I can handle a guy by myself, thank you,” you snapped. “If I needed help, I’d ask. Like you did. Apparently, I’m good enough to be used as an escape from your ex, but when hot Minji came around you wouldn’t even blink when I got up and left.”

“Usedas an escape?” he asked in disbelief. “You didn’t have to kiss me, but you did anyway.”

“That’s because I was trying to be a good fucking friend!” you yelled now, sounding over the music from the party.

“You used me too, don’t you remember?” he countered. “Or did you not show up on my doorstep after your terrible date so I would fuck you and make you feel better?”

You looked taken aback for a moment, knowing he was right, in a way.

“It’s like you’re always trying to get away from me, but you can’t,” he said.

“Oh, fuck you!” you said, every trace of guilt washed away. “Get off your high horse! Isn’t that the whole point of us? That we’re using each other for sex? Nothing more than that, right? If I walked out now, you could go and find the next girl in line to take over instead of me. Didn’t you try to see someone while I was chatting to the guy I went on a date with? It’s all about using people, isn’t it? If things with the guy had gotten more serious for me, you’d have her, ready for you. Don’t you think that’s a little messed up? Leading someone on like that?”

There was truth to your words. He had tried to find someone to date, should you have found someone too and your friends-with-benefits relationship had been over. But he hadn’t led her on. He had been honest in letting the girl know he wasn’t sure if he wanted anything serious. His chest was hurting, and the pain was only making him more furious.

“Yeah, I could have switched you for her,” he said coldly. Was he only trying to hurt you now? Perhaps, but you had hurt him first.

“Right, because that’s all I am to you,” you said, quieter than before.

“That was our plan! You’re my fuck buddy, nothing more!” he raised his voice now, tired of your empty words and signs. “You have no right to accuse me of anything when I’m playing by the rules. The rules you made. Maybe we should go back to the beginning. Start the game over. I don’t even know what we’re arguing about right now.”

“Start over?”

“Go back to when we were just horny for each other and nothing else,” he said, as if that would be possible. As if he could ignore the way your eyes shined, even in the dim light coming from the streetlamps outside. Like he could pretend he didn’t want to hold you and make you forget all about this terrible fight.

“Fine, let’s try,” you said, and he watched in astonishment, as you closed the gap between the two of you. When you tilted your head, he gave you permission by doing the same. When you kissed, with teeth clashing and exhausted sighs mixing up, he swore there were bombs going off somewhere in his head. Alarm bells, too. This was by no means a great idea. But what could have stopped him and his hungry mouth? He backed you against the wall and pressed you into it, hard. Before he had registered it, his hands were pushing up the fabric of your dress and you moaned, sounding so beautiful he could barely believe it. One of his thighs forced its way between your legs while he gripped your waist like his life depended on it.

But then, just as rapidly you had begun to kiss him, you pushed him away. His lungs felt tight when he noticed the affliction and confusion on your face. He wished he could make it go away. But he had caused it, so now his presence only made things worse.

“No- no, I change my mind. This is fucking stupid,” you said. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Y/N,” he said in a gentle tone. Somehow, it seemed that his careful voice hurt you most of all.

“I think we should stop. All of this,” you said. He was beginning to shake his head in disbelief, but you cut him off. “We said there wouldn’t be jealousy, but there obviously is. We should have stopped long ago.”

“But what about starting the game again, from the beginning?” he asked, too afraid of what you would say to even look at you. If you were going to rip out his heart you should have done so quickly, when he wasn’t paying too close attention.

“The game’s over. This is going over both of our heads,” you said. “I- I’m going to go home now.”

So this was heartbreak. H/N had never considered that it could be meant so literally. But he could swear that the muscle inside his chest was convulsing and shriveling as if you had stolen the blood that kept him alive right from his arteries. The pain was sharp like a thousand cuts had been inflicted on his skin, and he struggled for words like your words had taken every of his most elemental abilities.

“I’ll walk you home,” he said.

“No,” you said. “You’re drunk. You’re the one who could need someone to walk you home. And I don’t want you around me right now. Get home safely.”

That was it. No hug. No last, longing look. Just your words stabbing like knives and your ethereal beauty as you turned on your heel and walked from the room, leaving him behind, bleeding out by himself. What had he done?

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pastelsandpining · 3 years

Text

Zelink Week Day 4: Trust

broken | forged

Masterlist | Zelink Week List

words: 1086

summary: The Hero and the Princess catch up after Ganon’s defeat and Midna’s departure.

what’s characterization bc friend idk. country link superiority

Twilight Princess - post-game

@zelinkweek2021

-------------------------------------------------

Princess Zelda became very grateful that the grand garden was one of the least guarded places in the castle. Being in the courtyard, it was visible from all balcony posts, yet there were areas, however small, where the hedges towered just tall enough to shield them from view.

But for good measure, they were also seated on a bench. She knew the men stationed everywhere in the castle were only doing their jobs, but there were times she craved privacy that wasn’t provided solely by her bedroom or office. Just once, she would like to walk the grounds of the castle without eyes locked on and following her. Her council and the people of Hyrule surely would have plenty to say if they could see her right now, using her plans for restoration as an excuse to see and spend time with their dearest Hero of Twilight.

Their perfect princess, who sat far too close to him with a gloved hand pressed over her mouth to hide her laughter, acting so irresponsibly was unheard of.

“—she promised me that it was all I had to do, that it was some sorta twilight barrier, but that wall didn’t budge. I guess I should’a expected something was up. I felt real stupid afterwards, too. She got a good laugh out of it, and I got a bump that lasted ‘bout a week. I still have the headache.”

Zelda lowered her hand when her giggles subsided.

“I’m rather surprised Midna hadn’t tried worse. But I suppose she thought it best to keep our Hero in one piece,” she said, raising her fingers to brush his bangs aside. “No mark remains now.”

“She got me to do all sorts of ridiculous stuff for her own entertainment. Every time I thought I’d caught on..”

“Even princesses need to have a little fun. It’s just a shame it had to be at your expense.”

She felt so warm and comfortable next to Link, sitting under the rays of the sun. They’d come so far in so few months, and speaking so openly about Midna was therapeutic—healing, in a way. She’d taken a part of both of them when she left. It had been a sore topic for a while, but now here they sat, exchanging stories under a beautiful blue sky.

“Did she ever do any of that to you, or was I just special?” he asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

“You are special for numerous reasons,” she replied and folded her hands on her lap. “But you were not the sole victim of Midna's tricks. We shared the feeling of imprisonment, and eventually, we grew close enough for her to make me a target too. Though her best by far was when she told me she’d found the Hero, and brought me a wolf.”

Link’s pout was enough to make her suppress another laugh, though the ends of her mouth were pulled up into a smile.

“That ain’t fair,” he said, crossing his arms. “And that was just in the twilight.”

“Perhaps, but I like to imagine the look on Ganondorf’s face if you had shown up as the Twilight Beast.”

“He wouldn’t have been phased. Bastard probably kicked puppies for fun.”

Zelda pressed a hand to her chest and looked at Link with wide eyes.

“No one could be that cruel,” she joked, leaning away from him.

“Darlin’, yes he could. And I didn’t hit him hard enough.”

She had to fight back a smile. Every time he called her “darling” in his little accent, she felt so light and fuzzy. But she figured it was an expression everyone in Ordon used, so she never thought too hard about it.

“Well, if he somehow ever shows himself again, you can have a rematch. Although this time, I’d enjoy sticking my heels into his eyes.”

“I, for one, would love to see that,” Link replied, offering her a smile. And then his hand was gently holding her arm, his blue eyes fixated on her. “And how are you doin’, Princess? It’s only fair we check up on you too.”

“I’m doing just fine, thank you,” she answered with a small smile in return. Link’s eyebrow quirked up.

“And is that the truth?”

Zelda ducked her head to hide the widening of her smile. How could she not, when things were looking up? When she felt cared about in a way far more intimate than the respect her people held for her? She placed a hand on top of his and patted it twice.

“I’m managing about as well as everyone else,” she admitted with a light shrug. “But you needn’t worry about me, dear Hero.”

“Someone ought’ta,” he argued, giving her a look that said he didn’t quite believe her words.

“I appreciate it, truly. I just don’t wish to cause any trouble,” she told him.

“It’s no trouble at all, darlin’.” He seemed to realize what he’d said and lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. “Sorry, maybe I should stop sayin’ that.”

“I don’t mind,” Zelda assured him with a small smile. “In all honesty, I missed this. The casualty of friendship, I mean.”

And the interactions she could have with someone she truly enjoyed being around. She hadn’t had that until she met Midna, and Midna was gone. Link offered her a smile. There was a gleam in his eyes that she had to look away from.

“Can I trust you with somethin’?” he asked, leaning a little closer.

“Of course,” she assured, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Anything.”

“I’m runnin’ from somethin’. I dunno what it is. Being lonely, maybe? Everyone back in Ordon--they see me different. It’s like they don’t even know me, and that’s... I like it here, where I get to... restart, almost, and I wanna thank you for that opportunity.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Link,” Zelda replied and gave his hand another squeeze. “You’ve done so much for Hyrule and the least you deserve is peace and a friend. I’m flattered you trust me enough to confide this in me.”

“I think you make for a pretty good friend.”

Link was smiling at her, soft and relieved like he’d gotten something off of his chest. She ducked her head and leaned backwards with a smile of her own, because if she looked at him any longer, she might’ve doomed herself to embarrassment by leaning in.

No need to ruin the blooming trust between them.

#zelink week 2021 #zelink #twilight princess #tp zelink #twilight princess zelink #post-game #didn't proofread this one #the last of the drabbles #the rest of the week is art

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junicai · 3 years

Text

Aria + Periods + 127 = Chaos

Taeil

taeil has a younger sister, so he didn’t need her to explain anything to her

honestly, he’s one of the members she’ll go to first if she needs anything

the least likely to make a big deal out of it

just kinda

shrugs

and does what is needed of him

sometimes pain meds don’t do anything for aria’s cramps they get so bad

and on those days, she’ll slid into his bed and either

A: snuggle with him and let him cuddle her

or B: just curl up underneath his sheets until he gets back from wherever he was and then do option A

he really hates her periods

like, more than she does

because she’s always a little deflated in the upcoming days, and for the first two of the actual periods

and he hates seeing her in pain or be sad

even if the thing she’s sad at is the advertisement of the cute dog

definitely chuckles at her when she comes to him with slightly teary eyes and whines that she misses her dog now

but opens his arms willingly anyway, letting his maknae plonk herself in his lap and rest her head on his chest

Johnny

there is no better man to try and make aria feel better

that’s actually a lie

aria will point blank avoid him on her periods

he read once

once

in an article that physical exercise helps with cramps and the other pms-ing symptoms

and now every single time she opens her mouth to complain about her uterus trying to eject itself from her body

johnny’s right there with an invitation to the gym

he’s literally packed and changed, they can go right now

truth be told aria took him up on the offer once

never again

she couldn’t walk afterwards

he had to carry her out

asides from that though

he’s pretty okay with everything?

like obviously, he doesn’t really get it all too much, but if she wants someone to massage her back, then he’ll offer without too many questions

but when she’s crying about something?

oh ho ho ho

bear hugs

just a big ol’ swaddling hug that makes aria feel warm n safe n content

they heal everything

it’s aria’s life philosophy

Taeyong

totally understanding

she needs pads? he’s either already bought them, or will go out to buy them for her

doesn’t have a tracker for her, but somehow knows when she’s cramping the week before its due

once came up with the innovative idea of using their handwarmers as a makeshift hot water bottle when they were on a schedule and aria was suffering :(

aria gets really bad lower back cramps, and its super common to just see him gently pushing her onto the couch

so he can try and massage some of the tension

keeps pads in his travelling bags

completely unprompted - it just started being something he’d pack

like heat packs and pain patches and bandages;

period supplies just eventually got added to the list

was a little uncomfy with the whole thing at the start

but his older sister yelled at him

told him to stop “being a baby” and “she’s your responsibility, act like it.”

aria felt really bad for burdening him with it all

lowkey wished she was a boy for inconveniencing everyone with it

and taeyong had to sit her down and tell her no baby

it was natural and it didn’t bother anybody

that she didn’t have to hide it

that she could come to them if she was in pain because of it

Yuta

oh this man

when he found out that aria was getting lightheaded on her periods

when he found out that she passed out once on her period

did so much research on why that might have happened and how to help

literally stayed up all night and came to aria the next morning like

“are you eating enough iron?”

the answer was no, btw

made it his mission to make sure aria did after that

always has a little bag of nuts or something else in a side pocket of his bag if he knows aria’s on her period

gets concerned asf when she misses her periods

because he knows it’s because of unnecessary diets or her putting in extra time in the practice room

aria loves going to his room when she’s feeling miserable

he’s always down to watch a movie or just lay down with her

he’ll plait her hair or just lay together and press a lil kiss to her forehead when she whines about the cramps

hates hates hates when she cries

he knows it’s because of hormones, he has two sisters

but that doesn’t make it easier

will do absolutely anything to get her to stop crying

once went out at 3am to get her ice-cream

which actually made her cry harder

bc she felt bad that she couldn’t eat it because she’s lactose-intolerant

he just felt worse

that was not a good night

now the freezer in the dorms has a little tub of non-dairy ice-cream with aria’s name on it

curtesy of yuta

Doyoung

when aria first moved into the 127 dorms

he bought a little pink box with a lid that he then proceeded to fill with tampons and pads; the whole shebang

which he then put in the locker beneath the sink

and told anyone that if they made a big deal out if it, he’d kill them :)

incredibly perceptive

knows when aria’s on her period before aria knows

“hey do u need a pad?” “ why do i need a pad?”

*an hour later*

“oppa do u have any pads”

he’s less of a come here and i’ll comfort you type

and more of a, i’m going to help you from the sidelines without ever actually acknowledging it’s existence

like perceiving it makes it worse

honestly aria’s pretty thankful he’s like this

she loves that the other members take care of her like they do, don’t get her wrong

but its like, for five days - she can do no wrong, she’s accommodated, and sometimes walked on eggshells around

it’s nice to have someone who’s going to treat her like normal

to balance it out

does that stop her pulling the “i’m in pain” card when she’s about to get scolded?

Jaehyun

jaehyun doesn’t have any siblings, so he was really learning from scratch with aria

however

that was actually a good thing

because it meant that whatever aria told him; he did

if she needed a heating pack - he’d go find one for her

if she needed to just lie down for a bit - he’d take her into her room and close the curtains to let her take a nap

now, she didn’t take advantage of this

much

but she just thought it was really sweet of him

and tells him as much

and every time, he’ll just pat her head

maybe a lil kiss on the forehead

and pull the blanket up to her chin before leaving and flicking off the lights

that’s kind of the extent of what he’ll do

mainly because the other members have a lot of it covered already

but it’s pretty common for him to give her a piggyback ride somewhere

if her back is cramping a lot and she doesn’t/can’t walk

no complaints

he just kneels down and aria asks him is he sure

like she’s heavy or something

and he’ll just carry her to wherever they’re going

there’s a lot of fantaken pictures from these moments

people speculate that she’s injured or sick

it happens so regularly that nctzens are genuinely convinced that aria just doesn’t possess an immune system

Jungwoo

jungwoo was surprisingly well prepared when aria first bent over from a sudden onset of cramps

man was ready and knew what to do

he had hyuck going out of the room for water

and had a hand placed on her lower back rubbing gently

never really makes a big deal out of it all

although has told her to play it up once or twice because he wanted to go to bed and practice was running late

she did, and they did end practice almost immediately after

honestly, aria’s pretty convinced that all of jungwoo’s information on how to deal with girls on their periods came from a wikihow article

but that did mean that he had taken the time to look up a wikihow article

so she guesses she can forgive him

and honestly, the fact that he takes it upon himself to do a little of her chores?

she’s not complaining

after the first three times she felt bad enough to tell him to stop though

he didn’t

and now it’s just normal

is very conversational about it all

has no problem with asking her what she needs, instead of hovering around and guessing

which makes it easier on aria as well

the first few times, she felt quite burdensome

and jungwoo levelled her with a look when she told him this

“the only way you’d be burdensome, is if you didn’t talk to the rest of us and suffered silently - in pain.”

that was the end of that really

Mark

unfortunately for mark

aria got her first period when she was with him

poor boy thought she was going to die

“ohmygod you’re bleeding - you’re BLEEDING-”

aria had to calm him down before going to the bathroom

he is pretty oblivious as to what exactly goes on

aria complained once that she missed her last two periods because of the stupid diet she was on

mark literally thought she was going to die

very concerned

she had to sit him down and tell him that no, she wasn’t going to die

he’s gotten better over the years

as a topic, he’s still pretty uncomfortable with discussing it

but its less of a “i’m a man and this isn’t a manly topic” and more of a “i don’t know anything about this subject and i don’t want to offend somebody, help”

he did by her her first hot water bottle cover though

up until then, she had been using hot water bottles wrapped in towels to prevent her skin from burning

but mark showed up one morning

with a yellow fuzzy thing hidden behind her back

it was a winnie the pooh cover :(