#except Isaac has you know....a personality

[si-cucumber]

If I had a nickel for every time a grumpy nobleman and their supernatural butler attended a Victorian-era public school and had an excitable ginger sidekick, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

#kuroshitsuji #makai ouji #McMillan #Isaac Morton #black butler public school arc #black butler #devils and realist #I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON #except Isaac has you know....a personality #sorry McMillan :'D #also hi yes i do still make memes for my long-dead fandom. Hi MO fam

[kitchenisking]

March Fic Rec

back to back recs cuz I wasn't paying attention to the weeks fly by😅

Obsession by Rae666 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 2,399, sterek)

Derek gets hit by a witch's curse and is confined to his loft as his uncle searches for a cure and Isaac stands guard. But as the curse grows worse and Derek's obsession with a certain pale skinned person becomes increasingly intense, how long can the team keep Derek and Stiles apart, especially when Stiles decides to take matters into his own hands?

The Wolf by rororowyourboat - (Rating: G, Words: 3,901, sterek)

Stiles and Derek haven't seen each other in years, but after talking on the phone nonstop for months now, Derek is finally moving back to Beacon Hills. The day he's supposed to arrive, he stops responding to Stiles' texts, and then a blue-eyed wolf shows up on his porch steps. Obviously something has happened to Derek, and Stiles needs to help him out... right?

Tease by katrint - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 4,852, sterek)

Stiles is used to Derek being all growly, claiming and rough when he gets jealous, but when something that usually would make Derek all the above happens, and Derek shows no interest in Stiles whatsoever, Stiles starts to worry.

Ulterior Motives by useyrwordsderek - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 11,082, sterek)

In which Stiles is warm for Derek’s form, Derek is repressed, and Erica is awesome. (Lydia is also awesome, but that goes without saying.) Author’s notes: Set after Season 2; mild spoilers for all of S1 and S2. Previously posted to LJ. My first Teen Wolf fic! Be gentle!

It feels like a perfect night (for breakfast at midnight) by princecharmingwinks - (Rating: G, Words: 1,068, sterek)

Stiles is floating on cloud nine. He is absolutely living his best life. It's a Saturday night, he's out with his friends and he's dancing like it's his birthday. Because it is! (Or it will be in 20 minutes, once midnight ticks around). And what better way to celebrate the respectful age of 22 than a night out?

The Hale Beast by secretfanboy - (Rating: Mature, Words: 17,707, sterek)

Stiles would rather be at home playing X-Box than attending the ceremony inaugurating the Wolf nation's sovereignty over the Argent kingdom, but he's the Sheriff's son so those are the breaks. What he doesn't expect is the feral werewolf Prince Derek AKA The Beast to take an interest in him.

He was alone with the Beast. His heart started pounding its way up into his throat. A burst of static came from his cell phone. "Scott! Oh my god! He's here! The Hale Beast is here with me and I'm alone and no one is here to witness when he kills me...to death!"

Treasure by Hedwig221b - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 71,231, sterek)

“I know you don’t trust me,” Derek grunted. When Stiles inhaled to retort, Derek caught his chin and pressed a finger against his lips, making the boy freeze in place, eyes impossibly wide. “Don’t argue. I expected it. Wolves don’t trust easily, too. I just wanted you to know that… I’m sorry. I was selfish and didn’t see what was in front of me. You don’t need to worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

It was a thought that grew in his mind, spread to his heart and took root there, reincorporating into a deep desire and a vital need. Derek will take care of him and his little pup, he’ll bring the hearts of his enemies and put them at the boy’s feet. He’ll court and he’ll conquer.

The Mending That You Need by torakowalski - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 3,861, sterek)

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

Even Forbidden Fruits Get Picked by flitterflutterfly - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 18,658, sterek)

When Stiles’ best friend gets himself bitten by a rogue werewolf, Stiles convinces him to seek aide from the local pack. Stiles tags along, ready to help Scott despite the knowledge that he likely wouldn’t be welcome. After all, Doms rarely ever approved of Stiles and he thought the Hales would be no exception. So he was surprised to find that not only had the rogue seemed to develop some kind of creepy fascination with him, the young alpha wolf, Derek, seemed to want him as well.

Transformation by sffan - (Rating: T, Words: 1,885, sterek)

“Dude. You turned into a wolf. What the hell? When did that start being a thing?”

#sterek #derek hale #stiles stilinski #fanfiction #stiles x derek #kitcheniskingficrecs #ficrec #fanfic

[phantomrose96]

"Okay but we're all totally recommending Gideon the Ninth to our male friends, right? Because can we TALK about what good male character representation Gideon the Ninth has?? Because it's literally so so good.

First off there's Palamedes, who's witty and smart and sarcastic and he literally solves like half the plot. Literally the plot would not have worked without him. And he's regularly shown to be smarter than even Harrow. And best of all, no one ever questions him or belittles him for being a man. Literally everyone treats him like an equal, even the women who see him as an enemy.

Then there's Isaac, who really feels like a real teenager he's so fleshed out. He's got a lot of personality and angst and big emotions, and the author literally never once sexualizes him. Like you know she gets it. Then Magnus is literally so nurturing and wholesome, he's like a genius inversion of the usual Strong Man trope. Literally God HIMSELF is a man.

It's really refreshing how much you can tell the author is a staunch meninist, just from the way the narrative respects all the men across the board. The only time a woman belittles a man is when Ianthe belittles Naberius, but she does that to everyone so it's not sexist. Plus Naberius is a bad ass. He literally beats Gideon in a duel. In fact the only male characters who feel like "bad" male rep are maybe the eighth house, cuz they're both kinda stereotypical male personalities... but when you consider there are 4 or maybe even 5 other prominent men in the story, it stops being "bad male stereotype" and just becomes "good male diversity :)". I really wish more authors felt brave enough to include 4 or even 5 prominent male characters, who all MATTER to the story.

Like I think that's what gets me? It was like every male character mattered. All the main character women wouldn't have gotten to where they did if not for the men who were playing SUPER important secondary roles to them? And those men weren't just there for love interests either, except kinda Palamedes whose whole motivation was the two women he's in love with, but it's REALLY done well! He literally has full autonomy of his choices the whole time and when he steers the trajectory of his whole life for the women he's in love with, it's genuinely so human and heartfelt.

But yeah it's like they were all HUMANS. It was so refreshing how easy it was to empathize with them? It wasn't like "they were men", it was like "the author knows these characters are humans, and they are men too". Idk how to explain it but it makes me really feel like I can understand men better when I usually think they're such a mystery or just really shallow in books :). I just think men should know books like this exist and that they know authors like Tamsyn Muir are out there and they get it :)."

#chrissy reads gideon the ninth #gideon the ninth #i realized gtn just quietly does the complete gender inversion of every 'no REALLY this story has GREAT women representation. #they existed and were humans and even mattered. :)' #and i cant unsee it #also if any starts discourse im biting you

[starberry-cupcake]

back by popular (?) demand, I am now starting chapter 28 of gideon the ninth and I guess I'm sharing updates to the general public now ( @lady-harrowhark this is your responsibility). I think I'm gonna put them under this tag because I am being told I will want to look back on them later (sounds threatening ngl).

previously, in gideon the ninth:

isaac was ended by some junji ito shit

jannemary was ended by a stealthy junji ito shit

very pointed messages were written for them

which is too dramatic to be a random monster killing, if you ask me

gideon took a 15 minute nap and was startled awake in hell

gideon most definitely did not look much at the room before she took said nap, nor did she remember the paper she's still carrying around

I'm losing my mind at the paper

I'm like watching another d&d player choose to never look at something the dm gave them

were we are now:

gideon is back, now with More Trauma

harrow has the compassion of a feral kitten

this is a bad combination for me, personally, in particular, because this means gideon is going to look for comfort in my mortal enemy dulcinea

she gives her a talk that is trying to distract me from the fact that I don't trust her, but I will never trust her

she was like "it'd be better to die here than to be living longer and trapped" and I was like "wanna let me help you with that?"

palamedes has also been carrying a dulcinea boner, which also makes things difficult for me

because if my mortal enemy ends up being bad and dangerous, and palamedes is in danger, it would force camilla to be in danger, and we don't want, under any circumstances, to put camilla in danger

mayonnaise uncle has been gossiping in the eighth and ortus's mom (where I'm from, 'orto' means 'ass', so I will never forget his name) spilled the beans on the ninth

he offers gideon literal tea with a side of the metaphorical tea

here's where I went "boy, I sure hope harrow doesn't push gideon away and gives her a reason to turn to these guys"

harrow proceeds to do just that

with clockwork precision

I cannot emphasize enough how meticulously she did this

if pushing people away was an olympic sport, and if that was the way to judge this competition, this book would be 10 pages long because harrow has mastered the craft

you could hear gideon's psyche becoming dust

needless to say, we're having tea with the eighth soon, everyone bring your scones and poison

which, you know, fine, at least gideon will be told information

and btw, protesilaus is still live reacting from an unknown location

idk what regina george twin, yandere simulator twin and chad the third are doing but, at this point, I don't know what anyone is doing, really

except for dulcinea, I JUST KNOW she's up to no good

and the second is probably still dealing with the fact that they lost to Camilla The Everything

#tlt #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #luly rambles #luly reacts to tlt #tlt spoilers

[hsllfirescoopsreblogs]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎

「 ✦ poe dameron ✦ 」

╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all poe dameron stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3

┌──────────────────┐

MASTERLIST ✩ OSCAR ISAAC CHARACTERS ✩ 4/25/24

★ @theowritesstuff

☼ the droid problem

★ @eyelessfaces

☼ love bites

☼ us, now

☾ you and poe always promised to act on your feelings towards each other once the war is over. this time has come.

★ @whirlybirbs

☼ why are you crying

☼ risks

☾ cadet!reader & poe dameron butt heads after a mission

☼ damsel doing damage

★ @the-little-ewok

☼ an unorthodox method

☾ All you want is a hot shower, some clean dry clothes, and to crawl into bed. What you absolutely do not want is Poe Dameron in that bed with you.

☼ a little help

☾ Poe brings BB-8 to you every week insisting something is wrong but you can never find anything, His droid is always in perfect condition. But BB-8 has decided his master needs a little help with you…

★ @youvebeenlivingfictional

☼ heartless

☾ When you landed at the Resistance base on D’Qar, you had nothing but the clothes on your back, your mother’s heart pendant, and fifteen credits in your pocket. 

☼ effective

☾Your family loves to rib you for being single. This Christmas, you learn that bringing your best friend Poe with you can make the holiday a little more enjoyable.

☼ the stars

☼ the force

☾ Staring at each other’s lips for a moment before moving closer, as if drawn together by some unseen force

★ @campingwiththecharmings

☼ invisible string

☾ You're a new medic in the Resistance and you keep running into a certain pilot in the medbay.

☼ never have i ever

☾ Before you can talk yourself out of it, you grab one of the shots in front of you and down it, coughing a little as the alcohol burns down your throat. As you set the glass back on the table, you slowly meet your best friend’s gaze.

He stares at you with slightly narrowed eyes, his lips parted as he absently tongues the inside of his cheek. “You’re messing with me.”

☼ fo!reader (co written w/ @runa-falls )

★ @softlyspector

☼ hard landings

☾ Everybody in the kriffin galaxy seems to know you...Except for Poe.

★ @januaryembrs

☼ hot under the helmet

☾ Poe finds out the hard way the best mechanic in the resistance is also most beautiful woman he’s ever seen; too bad you’re so hot headed. 

★ @jake-g-lockley

☼ did you meant it?

☼ feels right

☾ "you are, without a doubt, the most annoying person i've ever crossed paths with. and don't even get me started on the sound of your voice." and "please shut up. i can't stand how appealing your voice is."

★ @reallyrallyauthor

☼ sunk

☼ the promotion

☾ When you parents call you home to marry someone you’ve never met, you turn to your best friend, Poe, for help

★ @ichorai

☼ working in the dark

☾ poe should know better than to sneak up on you in the dark.

★ @bensolosbluesaber

☼ something forgotten

☾ Poe Dameron is the love of your life, but he can’t remember you. Still, Poe finds himself drawn to you and seeing flashes of a life he has forgotten.

★ @starryeyedstories

☼ one kiss

☾ Poe likes you. You like him. You’ve sworn to yourself you won’t get involved with anyone until the war is over. Poe has sworn to himself that he’ll get you to kiss him before then.

☼ black leader, shutting up

☾ Poe loves missions, especially when you’re manning the comm systems.

★ @batshitbimbo

☼ crush

☾ one moment he was just some pilot and the next he was your Poe.

★ @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

☼ tangerine, tangerine

☼ move over

☾ You let Poe share your bed when he's too drunk to go back to his own room. He, however, can't seem to stop himself from taking up all the space humanly possible.

★ @foxilayde

☼ nine ten, eleven, twelve

☾ Idiots in love. You’re the idiot, mainly. You happen to hear something quite salacious about your bestie. And oooh boy, are you awful at keeping your shit together.

★ @spctrsgf

☼ late

☾ another day, another mission where poe is (not just a little) late.

★ @angel-of-the-moons

☼ baby wings

☾ Poe teaching reader who’s a new pilot for the resistance some of his tips on flying.

★ @happyhauntt

☼ fight or flight

☾ you and poe have never seen eye-to-eye. most days, you wonder if you ever will.

★ @marc-spectorr

☼ come alive

hopefully all links work, let me know if not <3

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #star wars x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron smut #poe dameron angst #poe dameron one shot #poe dameron fic rec #poe dameron masterlist

[christinesficrecs]

These are also very classic but I feel like they're a little more well known. If you managed to miss it, Bones Straining is THE fic to read, followed closely by Reach Out. Also, forgot about this ficlet if you're up for a tiny bit of angst.

The Time Traveler’s Prerogative | 9.2K | Explicit

After the events of “117”, Derek doesn’t magically transform back into his twenty-five-year-old body. Instead, he’s stuck as a sixteen-year-old for an unknown amount of time. So the pack has to learn to deal with it.

Reach Out  | 20.2K | Explicit

In Which Stiles Falls in Love Twice…With the Same Person

Released (From Behind These Lines) | 15.9K | Explicit

Stiles was the first one. He doesn’t know how it started, what’s wrong with the house to make it like this, but he knows that he’s the first of them. The next one was Boyd, then Lydia, then Erica, and lastly, Isaac. It seems a habit, anyone who ever moves into the house leaves someone behind. But no one’s lived in the house for the last ten years.

Until Derek Hale.

See Me In Hindsight by weathervaanes, wishingonalightningbolt | 19.6K | Explicit

Stiles is 18 when he finds out exactly what’s going on in Beacon Hills. He has a few months left before he goes off to college, has a while to help Scott become the best werewolf he can be - and also to get into Derek Hale’s pants. And his heart.

Bones Straining Under the Weight  | 15.6K | Explicit

One of Stiles’ favorite things about life is Derek Hale’s food blog. He never expects to meet the man in person.

JEALOUS ORCHARD, THE SKY IS FALLING  | 5.8K

Stiles is away at UCLA for school. It may only be a few hours from Beacon Hills, but Derek still only visits every once in while. Suddenly, every time Derek even talks to Stiles, the boy just can’t help but bring up his new college BFF, Tara. When Derek visits, jealousy strikes. And make up sex ensues.

Can’t Be Saved (Not So Frail)  | 16.3K | Explicit

In which Kira is Derek’s ward, Stiles is Scott’s brother, and omega heat cycles are good for everyone.

This Kind of Luxe by horchatita394, weathervaanes, wishingonalightningbolt | 15.1K | Explicit

As they have for almost every US President since the 1910s, the Prime Minister and the royal head of their country pay a visit to the United States after inauguration. Which is why, when President Jonathan Stilinski is elected into office, Queen Talia Hale of Norland plans their trip.

For Love is Not Ours to Command | 18.5K | Explicit

Where Derek's skills at thinking on his feet mean that he and Stiles have to act. For the sake of Stiles' dad, of course, for the sake of the pack. No personal interest interference at all, whatsoever. Right.

Like Heaven Catching Lighting | 41.5K | Explicit

Prince Stiles of Cor has always known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he was never truly going to marry for love. Fighting it has only made it worse. Now, presented with a choice between two children of the Hale family of Ignis, Derek and Cora, he must make the decision to determine who will rule by his side. If only it were that simple.

Sweet Dreams 'til Sunbeams Find You | 9.2K | Mature

But that’s when it happens. Stiles is on a down stroke when Derek opens his mouth against Stiles’ neck and says, “What do you think about having kids?”

Whispers in the Dark | 6.9K | Explicit

Stiles Stilinski would call himself a starving artist except for the simple facts that he is neither starving, nor does he know anything about art (unless you consider a novelist an artist, which Stiles only does sometimes). So when his best friend insists he accompany him to a show in the city, Stiles thinks it will probably be the most boring evening of his life.

Enter Derek.

#sterek fics #sterek #ficrecs #fanfic writers #sterek fandom #author appreciation #author spotlight #weathervaanes

[illiterateaffairs]

DISTRACTIONS II | ALONE AT MIDNIGHT

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 2,880

summary: jamie refuses to let you go home alone again

A/N: what could THAT mean?

distractions masterlist | previous chapter

After almost three months with the club, you and the team are now celebrating a seven game win streak. 

Rebecca has somehow managed to convince a star football player called Zava to join AFC Richmond (you still weren’t sure if that was his first name or last name) and they haven’t lost a match since. While very gifted at football, you wouldn’t exactly call Zava your favorite player to work with. He was self-centered but not at all self aware. For some reason the team worshiped him but you could hardly understand why. With what you heard about how much they couldn’t stand Jamie when he used to be more selfish and stuck-up, you didn’t get why they’re putting up with Zava. Maybe it was just the thrill of back-to-back wins. They were all the happiest you’d ever seen them so you kept your thoughts to yourself. 

Well almost all of them were happy. Anytime the team went out for drinks to celebrate their recent victories (even days after on a random Wednesday - any excuse for a pint, as Isaac would say) Sam convinced you to tag along. That’s how you started spending time getting to know more guys like Isaac and Colin and Dani. But even as you bonded with them, you couldn’t help but notice Jamie. You’d always find him sulking in a corner with a beer in his hand, or half heartedly making conversation with one of his teammates. You’d spoken to him a few times over the last several weeks, and while you’d talk about your weekend or share jokes about other players or even the coaches (apologies, Uncle Ted), your conversations were never lengthy or of substance. So you ignored the urge to check up on him during these nights. 

You’re out again tonight - except this time it's the entire club. Coaches, staff, and all are gathered at Sam’s restaurant Ola’s for an unofficial opening celebration in honor of the team’s seventh straight win. You’re sipping champagne by the bar with Rebecca and Keeley, when they have to introduce you to Rebecca’s old friend Sassy. You’ll love her! And of course you do. Everyone you encounter here is the best person you’ve ever met. Although your ears bleed when Sassy alludes to going home with Ted later. Rebecca secretly gives you a simultaneously apologetic and amused look, to which you can only laugh through your embarrassment. 

As you sip your champagne, you can’t help but look on as your work family mixes and mingles and laughs together. You try not to beam at Sam, who you’ve told you’re proud of a million times that night, as he talks to his chef friend. You look on curiously as Colin introduces a friend of his to some other members of the team. You even feel comforted when you see Roy sit down next to Jamie, hoping someone can get that boy out of whatever funk he’s in. Even Zava makes a surprise appearance but you keep from rolling your eyes.

You’ve really become comfortable here the last few months. You try to remember the last time you’ve felt this happy and content and you come up blank. You’re surrounded by people you actually like and a job that sustains you both financially and spiritually. Now if only you could write a word of fiction you were proud of, but baby steps will have to do.

You’re not a superstitious or paranoid person, but as soon as you start dwelling on how great your life is going, you know that you’ll jinx it.

And you do.

As Rebecca begins telling you and Keeley about the psychic reading she had recently, your phone buzzes in your back pocket. You figure it's a text from your dads and don’t want to miss an opportunity to connect with them even briefly, since you’ve been so busy. Instead of finding a text from your family group chat, you see an Instagram notification.

Mason_Andrews has posted for the first time in a while.

Stupid Instagram and their stupid irrelevant notifications.

You know you shouldn’t look. You’re having a great time, and you haven’t really thought about him in weeks. But you’re so curious. Besides, you really need to make the move to unfollow him and this could be the perfect opportunity to do so. 

So you click the notification banner and Instagram opens to a picture of Mason- with his arms wrapped around an eerily familiar red-head.

He’d told you he barely knew the girl, as the two of you fought that night; that she didn’t mean anything to him.

Apparently she did now. They looked extra cozy, all dressed up in cocktail attire at what must have been one of Mason’s work events. My girl, the caption reads simply. Your fingers move faster than your brain as you tap the image to see the girl has been tagged. Her handle tells you her name is Chloe. You know if you start digging any further you’re going to drive yourself crazy. But if you don’t look and go on the rest of the night trying to forget about it, you’ll feel even crazier. So you decide you need to get out of there as soon as possible. 

Under the guise of exhaustion, you bid your farewells to Keeley and Rebecca. You catch Ted’s eye over Sassy’s shoulder and wave. He mouths back a “get home safe”. You don’t even try to get Beard’s attention with his girlfriend Jane in his lap. Roy gives you a nod and you briefly make eye contact with Jamie as Keeley’s friend and coworker Shandy talks off his ear, giving him a small smile as you head to the front. You let Sam know you’re calling it a night, and he begs you to stay for a little while longer, but you just hug him tighter and promise to be his first customer when Ola’s officially opens. He flashes his contagious, thousand-watt smile and you almost feel better, accepting the green matchbook as a keepsake that you know you’ll never part with. 

Leaning against the brick of the restaurant, you mean to call an Uber, but end up giving in and immediately start cyber-stalking Chloe. You’re nearly a full year down her Instagram grid when the door jingles beside you, causing you to jump. 

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, palming your chest to calm your rising heart rate. 

“Didn’t know you were so religious,” Jamie snickers from beside you, seemingly a bit more upbeat than he was earlier in the evening. 

You snort, relaxing a bit, “Says the guy with the cross earring.” 

He smirks, “It's a fashion statement, ever heard of it?”

“My sincerest apologies,” You hold your hands up playfully in surrender, “I’m surprised you're alone.” 

He raises his eyebrow. “Why?”

“Well it seems if Shandy had her way, you’d be leaving with her.”

Jamie takes a deep breath, “Shandy is…a lot. I think she wanted to take a bite out of me.” 

You laugh at the pained expression on his face, “What, you’re not into that sort of thing?” 

He gets a mischievous glint in his eye and you know you’re going to regret having said that, “Well, I’m usually the one doing the biting.” 

“My God,” you groan, closing your eyes.

“There you go with the religious expletives,” he tsks, “You know you shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain.” 

“I will try to do better.”

Your breathy laughs die out together.

“So, what about you?” Jamie asks.

“What about me?”

“Don’t tell me you’re walking home alone again from here.”

You’re reminded of what you were supposed to be doing. “Oh, no, I was actually about to order an Uber.”

“Fuck that. My car is down the block, let me drive you.”

“Jamie, you don’t have to do that.” 

“I’m not letting you waste your money when I have a perfectly good car and empty passenger seat. Let’s go.”

He doesn’t give you another second to consider when he’s already rounding the corner of the restaurant. 

Moments later you’re putting your address into Jamie’s phone from his passenger seat, and you appreciate that he only made fun of you a little for almost getting in the driver's side. (“Hey, if you want to take a shot at driving on the correct side of the road, be my guest.” “Listen, It doesn’t make sense that everything is on the other side!”) You’ve been driving for a few minutes with only the soft sound of the radio playing when you finally let yourself ask.

“So, why the long face all night?” you inquire, “I don’t know much about non-American football, or American football for that matter, but I thought winning several games in a row was supposed to be a good thing.” 

Jamie shakes his head, “It is.”

“Thank you for clarifying,” you smile slightly, “But?”

“But,” he sighs, “I don’t love how we did it.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It's this whole Zava thing,” he admits, not taking his eyes off the road as you watch him, “Everyone is acting like he’s some God, and sure, he’s a great player, but we…stopped playing as a team. I liked it better that way. Now it's the Zava show.” 

You nod, “I get what you mean. I don’t get the hype about Zava either.”

He glances at you for a brief second before focusing on the road again. “You don’t?”

“Yeah, he’s all words and no substance. He says things but it doesn’t mean anything. It's irritating. Honestly, when he walked into Sam’s I had to force myself not to leave immediately.”

He laughs with you, “I feel like you’re the only other person who see’s through his shit.” 

“Yeah, well, I don’t really have patience for self-centered jerks. Even if they’re good at kicking a ball around or whatever.” 

Jamie’s smile falters a bit. “You know I used to be a lot like him.”

You bite back a laugh, “No way.”

Your sarcasm takes him by surprise. “I thought you weren’t into football?”

“Football? No,” you admit slowly, “One of my old coworkers, though, had an affinity for British dating shows…”

You swear you see a bit of color drain from his face under the glow of the street lights, “Ah shit.” 

You can’t help but giggle, “Yeahhh, I’m sorry.” 

“You’re sorry? You’re the one who suffered through watching that crap.”

You can’t help but join when a laugh breaks through his words. 

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“That bad? I was a total prick.”

“Oh yeah you were a douchebag, but it made great TV.” 

He can’t help but laugh with you despite himself. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“But you don’t seem like that guy anymore,” you reassure, “I don’t think the guy who broke Amy’s heart would offer to drive a girl you barely know home.” 

“I’m trying not to be,” he muses softly. “But you’re right about one thing. I barely know you and you’ve probably seen more of me than either of us would like to admit.”

You chuckle, feeling your face get hot. “'You saying you want to play 20 questions or something?”

“How about one? That being, why the hell did you come to Richmond?” he glances at you again as you suddenly find your hands more interesting than the boy beside you, “Sam says you had some fancy job back in America and now you’re basically a football club owner’s secretary.”

“We prefer the term personal assistant.” 

He rolls his eyes, “So what? Were you that desperate to learn about ‘non-American football’ or what?”

You take a long, deep breath. “You want the honest answer?” 

Jamie shrugs like it's obvious.

“I told my family I needed a change of scenery, but it was because of a guy. Pathetic right? Making a life changing decision because some guy broke my heart. But the truth is I’d been making a lot of my decisions because of him while we were together. Where to live. What friends to hang out with. I had my old job because he thought it would be a good fit for me even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. So, after we…broke up, I realized I didn’t really know who I was because my whole life was built around him and us. So, I knew I had to get the hell out of Chicago, panicked, quit my job, and…here I am; just trying to get a change of scenery and figure out who the hell I am.” 

You never admitted that to anyone. No one around you ever saw how controlling he was over your life. You knew your family would have called you out about it, but they never got the chance to spend much time with him. He insisted you spend holidays with his family and you went along with it. And when you visited yours, you went alone. You didn’t realize it at the time, but subconsciously you weren’t very proud of your relationship with him. You were blinded by the attention he gave you, all the while molding you into his definition of a perfect girlfriend. Until apparently you weren’t. 

You eventually glanced back over at Jamie, and despite paying attention to the road in front of him, you could tell he was listening attentively. 

“Damn, so once you finally saw how bad he was, you dumped him and left?”

You laugh humorously, “No, I dumped him after I caught him cheating on me.” That was also the first time you told someone willingly. 

“Jesus Christ.”

“Now who’s using the lord’s name in vain?”

“He sounds fucking awful. Glad you’re rid of him.”

“If only I’d come to my senses sooner.”

He shakes his head, “Don’t blame yourself when he’s the prick.”

You digest the sentiment as his car slows to a stop and you realize you’ve made it to your apartment. 

He angles his body towards you, “Seriously, I’m sorry that happened to you. No one…no one deserves that.”

Meeting his eyes, you get the sense that there’s more meaning behind his words that you don’t understand. Still you smile slightly. “Thank you, Jamie.”

He presses his lips together in a thin smile as well. 

You unbuckle your seatbelt as you continue, “Well, here’s hoping that quitting my job and moving halfway across the world actually does the trick and lets me move on, or else I might be a little crazy.” 

Jamie chuckles and you feel the energy shift back to lighthearted, “Well, you know what they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

“Jesus Chr-” you stop as he raises his eyebrows playfully, and you start to smile. Not only do you let yourself laugh at his cheeky joke, you let yourself consider his words. Casual dating let alone sex wasn’t really your thing, but maybe it could help. At the very least it would be a well deserved distraction. You briefly consider trying out the Bantr app but you loathed online dating. And here you were with a perfectly eligible bachelor mere inches away from you. 

No. No. You couldn’t hook up with Jamie Tartt. 

He was a notorious playboy. And while you could now attest he wasn’t as bad as his on-screen persona made him look, you knew he still wasn’t a relationship guy. 

But that’s not what this would be. 

Maybe he would be the perfect guy to distract you for one night. He instantly made you forget about Mason earlier until he became the topic of conversation. And he was very pretty. 

Before you can second guess anymore, you push yourself towards him and press your lips against his. If Jamie’s surprised by your actions, it doesn’t last long. He quickly unbuckles his own seatbelt, so he can bring the two of you closer together, his hands squeezing your waist, as yours cup around his face. You kiss frantically for a few more moments, sneaking in breaths where you can, before you’re pulling away slightly. Your noses are brushing against one another as you blink up at him, “Do you want to come inside?” 

He doesn’t bother answering, letting out shaky breaths as he nods, bumping his forehead against yours lightly. You smile into another kiss and Jamie doesn’t break away as he starts reaching to unlock the car doors, eager to get into your apartment but a little less eager to part from you. Reluctantly you separate again so you both can fumble out of the car and up the stairs of your building. You feel his breath on your neck as you hurriedly unlock your front door. He gently leads you inside, only to shut the door and push you against it, picking up where he left off. His hands make their way down your body to your thighs, and without having to be asked, you're jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist. You mumble directions to your bedroom against his lips and before you know it, he’s lying you down across your bed. As his lips leave a trail down your neck and to your chest, you don’t even remember Mason’s name. Your mind is just clouded by Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. 

A/N: let me know what you think y’all!!! also taking this opportunity to let everyone know i’m not comfortable writing smut or things like that, but will obviously allude to this like this. hope everyone understands! ❤️

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x f!reader #jamie tartt x female reader #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #distractions series #mine

[buckybarnesss]

It is so funny/sad that the people who are the loudest about how dumb TW is, miss basic shit.

Chris is a bad person. Derek has a sense of humor. Peter is a liar. Allison and Derek are vulnerable to manipulation and abuse because they are abuse and trauma survivors.

The Argents infiltrate schools and abuse power and kids. Victoria, Kate, and Gerard do this. Chris knows this is happening. Chris accepts this. I don't care if Chris secretly cries himself to sleep at night. He upholds a violent, abusive, murderous family.

Chris kidnaps Allison and ties her to a chair. He gaslights her. He threatens to kill her boyfriend. He married Victoria and apparently loves her, even though Victoria is a vicious, monstrous person.

How does Chris react when he finds out Allison is dating Isaac? He screams and throws things. He's violent, bigoted, weak. I thought this was why we all liked him!

teen wolf fandom is so silly sometimes but also media literacy is dead lol.

the argent apologism runs deep. chris looks like a good parent and decent person when you put him up against the other members of his family.

i've said it before and i will say it again. chris argent has the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair. the man spent his life looking the other way. he was apathetic towards his sister's depravity until it was shoved in his face and he knew exactly what his father was like which is why gerard didn't see allison for fourteen years.

i also think he only helped allison's friends because allison died trying to protect them. scott becomes his exception not the rule.

he spends a lot of season 1 casually going around intimidating teenagers. teenagers he has no real proof of doing much of anything and in the end jackson, stiles and scott didn't do anything at all.

like don't get me wrong none of this means chris isn't a great and rather complex character but he's not a great person. mr gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep.

i too thought this is why we liked him lol

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf

[thetarttfuldickhead]

If When Jamie is named England’s captain a few years from now and he’s asked about inspirational figures and captain role models, he will not stop singing Isaac’s praises. Just, the way Isaac runs a tight ship and won’t tolerate any nonsense but always has their backs and makes sure there’s a lot of fun, too, silly stuff that keeps the team close and happy and mutually supportive; keeps them feeling like family, almost. It’s Ted’s heritage, the seeds Ted planted, but Isaac’s nurtured and sustained them, tended to the garden and kept it in bloom, and added some vibrant saplings of his own.

Jamie probably names a couple of other people too, whoever was in charge when he played for Man City, someone from his academy days or England’s under-21s, people like that.

He doesn’t mention Roy. And no one asks about it, and no one thinks anything of it—

—except for Roy, who watches the interview with Keeley curled up against his side on their couch and who notices the omission with a wild jumble of hurt and wounded pride and shame and jealousy (all mixed up with the shocking, burning pride he feels for Jamie, England’s captain, fucking hell).

Because Roy knows he wasn’t a great captain for Richmond, yeah, and was a horrible captain for Jamie (though to be fair, Jamie was a horrible person to captain, and Isaac isn’t likely to have been able to handle him at full-on prick either, only Roy’s not fantastic at being fair to himself, so), but he’s still Roy fucking Kent, the best on any team he’s ever been on and Jamie’s fucking childhood idol and his fucking everything now, so to have the little prick not even mention him…

He sulks. He tries not to, because he knows it’s silly and it’s Jamie’s big day, isn’t it, and Roy’s not going to ruin it by having A Feeling, but the feeling(s) persist and he walks through the afternoon with his scowl several shades darker than normally.

“What’s the matter, babe?” Keeley asks, and Roy’s long since given up trying to bullshit her so he spills. Keeley nods and listens and gives him a hug and a kiss and tells him that yeah, you’re gonna need to let that go or actually talk to Jamie about it, because she has long since taken a stand on not sorting their shit out for them.

And she has a thing with Rebecca that afternoon (only it’s the first Roy’s ever heard of it, so he can’t help but wonder if she had a thing with Rebecca prior to Roy’s confession), so when Jamie gets home, bouncing through the door like a puppy on speed, it’s just Roy there to greet him and tell him how amazing he is and yes, of course Roy watched the announcement, your hair looked fucking fine, yes, Keeley saw it too, no, don’t worry, she’s just out for coffee, she’ll be back for dinner and let you know how very impressed she is, and it’d be easy to just let it lie, put the lingering regret away and bask in Jamie’s joy, but they’d said they’d try not do that anymore, not cover stuff up when there’s the chance they might fester, so when Jamie furrows his brow and cocks his head to the side and asks if he’s okay, Roy takes a deep breath:

“It fucking hurt my feeling when you didn’t mention me, when they asked about captains that have inspired you,” he says, and then adds before Jamie can reply, “I know why you didn’t and that’s… that’s fucking fair, innit, but. It also made me wish that I’d been. Better. A better captain. For you.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says after a long, silent moment. He’s wearing that slightly blank look he adopts whenever someone’s caught him by surprise and he’s trying to figure out how to react. “Um. Sometimes I wish I’d been less of a prick, too, you know.”

Roy nods. He knows. And it’s not absolution, and it neither erases or rewrites any of their past mistakes, but it eases the ache in Roy’s chest all the same.

“We’re better now,” he offers, to Jamie, to himself.

“Yeah,” Jamie agrees with a small sigh. He grabs hold of Roy’s hand, tugging him along as he sits down on the couch, and then he curls up against Roy’s side, same as Keeley did just hours ago. “You’re a great fucking coach, though” he tells Roy seriously. “Me favourite, swear down.”

Roy snorts a laugh as he puts an arm around Jamie. “Better fucking be, considering how many blowjobs I’ve given you this week alone.”

“Mm, fucking mint, those,” Jamie agrees thoughtfully, then jabs a finger in Roy’s side. “Oi, this is the part where you tell me I’m your favourite player.”

And oh. That’s perfect, innit. “You’re not my favourite player,” Roy says, carefully not looking at Jamie.

The noise Jamie makes are equal parts disbelieving and outraged. “Um, excuse me, mate?”

“You’re not,” Roy insists, feeling a smile tug at his lips as he innocently adds, “It’s probably Isaac.”

And Jamie huffs a laugh against his neck. And Jamie says you’re an arsehole. And Jamie says you’re me favourite arsehole, though.

You’re me favourite everything, man.

And Roy holds him tight and breathes him in and, for the moment, believes him.

#huh #that got away from me #have a sudden sunday ficlet i guess? #jamie tartt #roy kent #keeley jones #isaac mcadoo #royjamiekeeley #ficlet #my stuff

[faithinchances]

Hit me with more of Roy conned Jamie into being nice and City is mad about it. I remember the concept and am face pressed against glass!

The basics of the original concept from @jamiesfootball are that Roy accidentally puts Jamie on a niceness points system so they can be friends, wherein Jamie gets to be a dick once for every four times he does something nice, with plenty of shenanigans along the way and everything is fun and hilarious until Jamie gets sent back to City which is when I get to make it sad and dramatic (ie, Jamie spends his nice points on his teammates/Pep/everyone else at City, and his dick points on Sr with the predicted results)

Jamie is an asshole at Richmond, in a way which is pretty well on par with the people around him, except that the narrative frames them well and Jamie poorly. Isaac and Colin do the brunt of the on-screen bullying but we're supposed to blame Jamie because he laughs at it. Roy humiliates Jamie by framing his embarassment as the funniest thing Roy has ever seen except that it's okay because Jamie is an asshole. Ted yells at Jamie for being hurt and unable to train, which is cool because Jamie is "obviously" faking an injury to get back at Ted for benching him.

Basically everything and everyone kind of sucked.

Take him out of that and put him in a functional dressing room with a good coach and lower pressure overall, and I don't think Jamie would behave that way. I don't think he ever behaved that way at City.

So Jamie goes back to City, a place where he never was much of a prick to begin with (except to the opposition team, because that is part of the sport), and has a casual identity crisis in the back of every shot.

He is touch-starved, being very very good, and blatantly and obviously anxiety-ridden, and all of this in ways which he hadn't been the year before.

Someone: *gets tackled kind of rough by someone on the other team* Jamie: Pep put me on put me on I will break his ankles and restore our honour Pep: ... no... ... Jamie are you doing okay? Jamie: Yes Pep all is well and good, I am just using a nice point. Pep: I'm going to think about what that means some other time. Jamie on the inside: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

Meanwhile, Jamie is gradually racking up bruises, injuries, and sore spots because he is constantly pushing Sr's buttons so he can pretend that he's still 20% an asshole, and City desperately want to know what Richmond did to their previously nice, normal teammate for him to come back as this clicker-trained attack chihuahua.

(sidenote, I headcanon Jamie as struggling with statistics and numbers games. That he doesn't play FIFA because he worries about how wanting to maximize his ingame stats could negatively affect how he plays in real life. That the only person he's willing to take statistics from are the tactical scouts (a position at a club where you study the upcoming opponent to learn their strategies and tendencies to better prepare the players to face them) because he doesn't want to wind up maximizing his pass completion percentage by no longer taking good risks on through balls or crosses. He's a numbers guy in a way which is sometimes a problem, and is definitely a problem here.)

(a different sidenote, Roy's poor opinion of Jamie was probably a torpedo to his self-confidence. He probably always struggled with both, in some part due to Sr's abuse, but he worshipped Roy. And Roy hated him.)

Hence: an intervention.

Someone, either the captain group (football teams will have ~4 captains with an internal hierarchy, since there has to be a captain on the pitch but no one can actually play every minute of a season) or Pep, sits Jamie down for a chat about how concerned they all are about him and Jamie what is a nice point, what is a prick point, Jamie you were already nice. We already liked you. But right now you're scaring us. You're hurt. Jamie who are you using your prick points on. Jamie? Jamie?

#child abuse tw #ted lasso #jamie tartt #fanfic

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

They're up at Burnley and it's snowing; lightly at first, a dusting of white over grass through the second half that had them shivering in their kits as they slid mud-spattered across the pitch. They'd won thanks to the fucking Roy Kent effect, everyone except Jamie 'cause that'd require coach to actually, well, coach him. To look at a space with Jamie in it and act like he saw a person instead of nothing at all, and he used to wish he was invisible, back when he was a kid dodging fists and snarled words but now he wants to cry, just a bit, 'cause he really is trying and why can't Roy try too?

They're up at Burnley and it's snowing in huge fluffy white flakes as they board the coach and Jamie feels sick, sits in the aisle beside Sam who presses against the window, breath fogging on the glass.

"You know I'd love to give you all a day out in town to celebrate but it looks like it's gonna be a snow day for us, folks," Ted says, stood at the front of the bus with a broad smile under his moustache. They all groan and he chuckles, hands held out in front of him. "Hey, I don't make the weather — and boy, that would be something, wouldn't it? Give y'all a taste of Kansas summer instead of all this rain you've got going on. Or snow, at the moment. Anyhow, we'll make our own fun, won't we boys?"

"It's barely even snowing," Zoreaux grumbles.

Jamie hurries off the coach, ready to crawl under the blankets and draw the curtains where he can't see any of it and he's halfway to the hotel entrance when he realizes Sam isn't with him. Turns and finds him with his face turned up in the middle of the carpark with snow dusted on his hair and his jacket and melting on his skin.

"It's very beautiful," he says softly. Jamie trudges back towards him and there's a look on his face he's never seen before, all wondering and open and in that moment with icy water trickling through his hair and his fingers frozen stiff in his pockets, Jamie thinks everything in his life has been worth it for this moment, watching Sam's face as he watches the snow.

Beside them, Dani kneels to scoop up a handful and yelps, shaking out his hands, pouting with betrayal. "And very cold!"

"You gotta wear gloves, mate," Jamie says. He knocks his shoulder against Dani and Dani knocks back.

"But it looks so soft!"

Inside, Ted leads them to the conference centre instead of up to their rooms and they sit in a circle on the floor, coaches and all. Jamie ends up huddled between Sam and Dani, arms looped over each other's shoulders, two lads who've never seen snow before in their lives and Jamie who has but the cold worms into him more than it does the others, never mind how Isaac teases him that he should be tougher, northern lad that he is.

There are eyes on him, a tiger watching from the brush. Jamie glances up and it's Roy, eyes dark and hard and searching and it's the first time they've met eyes since he returned, maybe ever. Jamie breaks first. Stares down at the carpet instead — ugly fucking thing, pilly and brown and worn out. They're a Championship League team now; can't afford the good hotels any longer. A year ago he'd've thrown a fit, quit in a huff to somewhere that deserved him like he might have done when Ted became gaffer if he hadn't had City to go back to. Only it turned out Richmond had made him too soft to handle Manchester and all that came with it. He'd made it twelve years with dad hanging over his head and then broke after barely a handful of months, huddled in his bathroom with blood in his teeth, told his agent he'd take whatever as long as it was far away.

The door crashes open and it's Zoreaux, back from raiding the hotel bar 'cause Ted wouldn't let him out no matter how much he insisted it weren't a proper snowstorm and the bartender let him buy by the bottle now half the guests who were supposed to come up had cancelled. Pass it around like they had at the curse fire and Jamie still feels stupid for that, a little, spilling his guts everywhere only to be sent back, but part of him wants to try again, just to test.

He hasn't drunk much since he got back, not much appeal in it after dad's drunken rages and the constant refills of neon-coloured cocktails on Lust Conquers All, but he drinks now, both hands wrapped around the bottle of vodka — not vanilla, the regular kind — when it comes his turn, warmer and warmer from the heat of their palms with each round. Sam's slung half over his shoulders and every few seconds he giggles at nothing and Dani says, "what is it, amigo?" and Sam says, "I don't know!" and it just makes him laugh harder. Jamie shoves playfully at his chest — "Right in my ear, mate? Really?" — and they both overbalance so the window stretches above them, one of those long thin floor-to-ceiling things. Looks up at the snow spiralling through the flat white of the sky and like this he can almost feel the cold bite of it on his face, the melting weight of it on his clothes as the water trickles down over his skin.

"I got lost in a snowstorm, once," he says, dreamily. Someone else is talking but they go silent at his voice and that's got to be on the list of prick shit he's not supposed to do, probably, to keep Ted from booting him off the team again, but he can't shove the words back inside now.

"Oh yeah?" Ted asks. "I didn't know y'all got those over here. Sounds like one heck of an experience, Jamie."

He shrugs against the carpet. "Not really. I was s'posed to drive for my da, right, 'cause his usual guy was being a fucking little bitch about it and didn't want to drive in the snow—" that's how dad had put it on the phone when Jamie got called into the principal's office, said his da was on the phone with a family emergency— "and I'd never even been to the fucking neighbourhood, right, so by the time I went and got the car off his mate and his mate gave me this whole fucking stupid lecture about not crashing or getting caught and shit and found the place it was a proper white-out, and my dad had been hanging around so long with this like, massive fucking TV that someone'd called the cops so I just fucking drove off, right? 'Cept I'd never driven in snow before so we got stuck in a ditch and me da sent me out to..." he blinked, bleary with drink. "Dunno. To find someone to tow us or some shit. But I didn't know where the fuck I was and I couldn't see shit so I just walked around 'til I found the road again, and by then dad had got himself unstuck and left, and the buses weren't running so I had to walk home." It's not really a bad story but his heart's pounding all the same and the room's gone quiet. He scratches harder at the carpet; tries to laugh but it comes out strangled and faint. "Good exercise at least, yeah?"

No one says anything, still. The carpet comes up in tufts; he piles them together like he used to do as a kid picking at grass during a fire drill. It's his turn with the vodka again, handed over by a solemn-faced Dani, and he takes a long pull. The alcohol calms the frantic buzz beneath his skin, leaves him tired and heavy and warm, the silence comforting instead of worrying.

After a while, Ted clears his throat. There's a funny tilt to his smile. "Hey, I love me a silver lining. Thanks for sharing that, Jamie," he says, strained. Maybe the cold's got him sick, or maybe it's just the way the floor's spinning that's making him look funny. Jamie flops onto his back.

"Uh-huh. Sure thing, coach."

"It is very stupid to volunteer your criminal history like that," Jan Maas says.

"'S not a crime to drive the getaway car," Jamie says.

"Pretty sure it is, bruv," Isaac says.

"Huh."

"Don't worry, Jamie Tartt! We will not tell anyone!" Dani says, very loudly or else very close to his ear. There's a general murmur of agreement.

"Thanks, amigo. I won't tell anyone 'bout your crimes, neither," Jamie says. "Not that I'm saying you've done crimes and that. But if you have. Unless it's like, murder, maybe. But if you murdered someone they probably deserve it so also not then." He holds up his fist; Dani bumps it on the second try.

"You cannot break a pact made during a snowstorm," Sam says wisely.

"I still can't believe you guys think this is a real snowstorm," Zoreaux says, and Jamie drifts off to a vivid description of the horrors of Montreal in winter.

He blinks awake to find the lads shuffling back to their rooms and Roy crouched over him with his giant fucking caterpillar eyebrows scrunched. The position can't be any good on his knee but Jamie's trying not to get in fights with the coaches so much this season so he doesn't say anything. Roy doesn't, either. He blows out a sigh like one of those panthers Jamie'd seen at the zoo with mummy way back when he was a kid, mouth working like he's trying to force himself to speak.

"Your dad's a piece of shit," he says. "You don't have to find a silver lining." And then he hauls Jamie to his feet and fucking dusts off the carpet lint with the sleeve of his jacket like Jamie's his seven-year-old niece. "You played fine today. Next time you can be fucking great, but first you need to get the fuck out of your head and be more aggressive."

Jamie breaks into a grin. "Aye aye, coach."

#behold the fruits of my poor time management skills #“it's not a crime to drive the getaway car” comes from my mom's cousin who got arrested for... driving the getaway car #jamie tartt #sam obisanya #dani rojas #ted lasso fanfic #kvetch oc

[chorus-the-mutate]

This is an edited repost of the Erzsebet Bathory character analysis I wrote yesterday that I refuse to let go to waste. I tried doing the right thing and tagging all of the necessary trigger warnings only for this post to be completely hidden from the Castlevania Nocturne and Erzsebet Bathory tags. Since I can't afford to tag the proper trigger warnings without being punished please do not read this post if discussions of rape or sexual assault triggers or upsets you in any way. I don't take these topics lightly and they are vital to this analysis of Erzsebet Bathory.

This post also contains major spoilers for this first season of Castlevania Nocturne.

This may seem presumptive of me to say but this thought has been stuck in my head for several hours: Erzsebet Bathory is the most rapist adjacent villainess I've ever seen without her actually being a rapist.

The first and smallest point against her is how often she mentions virgins. I know that Erzsebet's initial mention of virgin sacrifices is supposed to tie into the origin of her alter ego and consumption of Sekhmet but it's super fucking weird that it played into why she wanted to sacrifice Maria.

Next point against her is the lawyer's daughter. I'm not sure if this lady was a virgin but when she's first brought to Erzsebet she's already terrified and too dazed to fight back. It's obvious that she doesn't want to be there and that even if she did that she can't really express that desire. But Erzsebet still takes this lady out of a literal gilded cage, sits down and sits this lady on her dress to admire her despair before drinking her blood. The next time we see the lady she's still dazed. The only differences are that she's dolled up and seems more suggestible. Even with hundreds of people in this ballroom scene the lady is literally ignored by everyone except for Erzsebet who dances with her and parades her around for her own amusement. Everyone else knows that Erzsebet likes to make her victims suffer and they still refuse to acknowledge the lady because Erzsebet has made it clear that she's her possession. Hell the only person who is unhappy enough with Erzsebet to go rogue at this point is Olrox and he STILL IGNORES THIS LADY. When the lady is dragged outside to be fed on again without anyone batting an eye it reminds me of a rapist roofying their target and proceeding to do everything in their power to seem interested in their victim's well-being in order to take them to a second location. And no one speaks up since Erzsebet is the Harvey Weinstein, Prince Andrew or Thomas Jefferson of the vampire world; the embodiment of people in power getting away with abuse until the damage has already been done.

The last and biggest point against Erzsebet is the entire scene where she turns Tera into a vampire. For me personally that is just an allegorical rape scene and it's executed very well. Erzsebet makes her entrance at the abbey as a lioness of a woman, a literal predator who wants to take Maria as a sacrifice and turn her into a vampire to ensure Emmanuel the Abbot's loyalty. Tera protests and offers herself to Erzsebet instead. This is such blatant coercion that Tera refers to herself as the ram Abraham sacrificed to God instead of Isaac. And the only question or concern Erzsebet has at this point is if her sacrifice should be a virgin. The only reasons she accepts the sacrifice are Emmanuel's genuine love for Tera and the fact that Tera is a powerful sorceress. Once Erzsebet settles for Tera and physically lifts her to her level no one can stop her. Maria gets knocked out for trying and Richter gets bodied immediately after. Their only option is to get the hell out of there once Annette makes an opening and Richter rightfully runs for his life. Even Maria, the only person that could look back and see Tera turn, is knocked out and that feels like an intentional writing choice to give Tera one last shred of dignity. Erzsebet holds Tera really close in this sort of hug as she feeds on her and once she's fed she literally sits Tera on her lap for her turn to feed. Then Erzsebet cuts herself and the blood starts dripping down on Tera, starting at her skirt, going to her blouse and reaching her face. At first Tera doesn't react but then her body responds to the blood and she feeds even though she doesn't want to. Even though no one wants this for her. And that is exactly what it's like when someone has an unwanted orgasm. Tera's body is protecting itself the same way a victim of assault would and that paired with the blood on her skirt being reminiscent of the blood on a woman's thigh in the aftermath of an assault hammers home the rape allegory. It's very sad and uncomfortable to think of Tera's turn to vampirism this way but the thought lingers hours after like a grimy film on my brain.

I 100,000% believe that Erzsebet would have been an actual rapist if Netflix Castlevania didn't romanticize Lenore raping Hector and ending their relationship on friendly terms. Not to mention Sumi and Taka's sudden shift from allies to sexually assaulting Alucard out of spite. Castlevania Nocturne seems to shy away from rape and sexual assault in favor of allegories or moments so brief that I missed them unlike its predecessor. So I'm blaming the gratuitous depictions of sexual assault in Castlevania on Warren Ellis, the creator of Netflix Castlevania, who doesn't work on this show for a very good reason.

Everything from her size as Sekhmet to her tendency to torture women and girls before killing them contributes to the allegory of Erzsebet being the vampire equivalent of a rapist. She exudes power and not only does she enjoy making others feel helpless she's also great at it. She is a sadist without honor, willing to parade her lady victim of choice around vampire high society or hang a young girl on hooks to drain dry rather than let any of them die a quick death. The dragged out, needless suffering Erzsebet inflicts along with her preference for women and virgins frames her feeding as something more sexual in nature than the other vampire nobles who simply indulge in their gluttony. Even Olrox feeding on his former boyfriend isn't framed sexually, it's framed as a desperate, romantic gesture to keep his lover alive. And every vampire I remember from Castlevania has their feeding framed as a tool for political power or sheer, simple gluttony. Even the vampire general Cho was shown to be more of a tyrant or a general sadist clinging to power in Japan than a deviant.

Erzsebet's sheer sadism actually contrasts quite well with Dracula's humanity and restraint. He understood humanity, only feeding to survive or strike down the merchants who slighted him. (He probably also used feeding as a tool for political power but I don't think we saw that directly.) Dracula ultimately came to understand humanity so well that he fell for Lisa Tepes, the exemplar of what it means to be human. And that love is why I believe he respected Lisa's wishes and let her keep that humanity instead of turning her into a vampire. And after Lisa's death Dracula stopped feeding entirely, hoping to extinguish his life and take out as many people as he could because he believed that humanity should've been better. He believed that the people who lived alongside Lisa would've stood up for her and they betrayed her out of a mix of fear, religious reverence and apathy. Meanwhile Erzsebet doesn't care about humanity, seeing people like the lawyer's daughter as possessions or people like Tera and Emmanuel the Abbot as pawns to further her own rule. She might be taken aback by Drolta's death once she learns of it but there's an equal chance that she wouldn't even bat an eye.

So what do these points of analysis mean for Erzsebet and Tera's future dynamic as master and pawn? The one thing that's certain is that Tera has been fundamentally changed, forced into an unprecedented nightmare scenario that will drag her down a dark path. But I'm an optimist and I believe that Tera will ultimately be redeemed. She may never be human again but her humanity, her love for her son and daughter will save her soul. Ultimately I hope that Tera lives and recovers from the trauma of Erzsebet turning her. I hope that she goes home to her children and is taken in with open arms. But if Tera dies she will die as Tera, not as a pawn, and that is because Erzsebet could never kill her humanity.

#castlevania nocturne #castlevania nocturne spoilers #please heed the preamble #this post still discusses dark subject matters so I want you guys to be careful #erzsebet bathory #tera #tera renard #tera castlevania #dracula vlad tepes #anti lenore #sumi castlevania #taka castlevania #I really want to know what you guys think #and please forgive me if I've read way too much into Erzsebet #I just can't stop thinking about her lack of regard for most anyone #this could contribute to the colonization allegory with Erzsebet but I don't have the background or education to contribute to that talk #long post #ash rambles

[anamizuiro]

Matching IkeVamp suitors with classical pieces that likes to invade my brain

Was browsing more classical music to listen to but then I remember I used to get bits of IkeVamp brainrot listening so this list has cometh to be.

Characters Listed: The Residents, William, Vlad and His Minions.

Author Note: why does the bad guys always get the banger ones when it comes to music istg... also did you know? I was about to put Dies Irae (Mozart) in Charles' list before i changed my mind but decided to give it to Vlad instead because i like the vibe (except I gave Vlad Verdi's Requiem of Dies Irae instead because apparently there is another piece titled Dies Irae).

Napoleon

Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy

Arabesque No. 1 by Claude Debussy

Toreador March/Les Toreador by Georges Bizet (specifically that part.)

Vlad

Prelude in C Sharp Minor by Rachmaninoff

Four Seasons, Winter by Antonio Vivaldi

Moonlight Sonata, 3rd Movement by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (early composition) and Franz Xaver Süssmayr (finishes the rest of the piece) (Mozart was unable to finish composing this piece because he passed away. So the person who commissioned this piece hired his student to finish it. Source: Google)

Fantaisie Impromptu by Frederic Chopin

Verdi's Requiem Dies Irae by Verdi

Arthur

Habanera from Carmen Suite by Georges Bizet

Por Una Cabeza Tango by Carlos Gardel

La Campanella by Liszt

Vincent

Peer Gynt, Morning Mood by Edvard Grieg

Four Seasons, Spring by Antonio Vivaldi

Nocturne Op 9 No. 2 by Frederic Chopin

Minuet in G Major by Christian Petzold (said to be attributed to Bach)

Theodorus

Tristesse by Frederic Chopin

Nocturne in C Sharp Minor (No. 20) by Frederic Chopin

Shakespeare

Nessun Dorma by Giacomo Puccini

The Swan/Le Cygne by Saint-Saens

Fur Elise by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Leonardo

Bouree in E Minor by Johann Sebastian Bach

Minuetto in G by Luigi Boccherini

Comte de Saint-Germain

Cello Suite No. 1 : Prelude in G by Johann S. Bach

The Nutcracker Suite, The Waltz of The Flowers by Tchaikovsky

Aquarium by Saint-Saens

Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1 by Edward Elgar

Jazz Suite No. 2: VII. Waltz No. 2 by Dmitri Shostakovich

Danse Macabre by Saint-Saens

Mozart

Symphony No. 10 in G Minor: I. Molto Allegro by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (basically his own piece)

Hungarian Dance No. 5 by Johannes Brahms

Charles-Henri

the Nutcracker Suite: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy by Tchaikovsky

Gymnopedie No. 1 by Erik Satie

Funeral March by Frederic Chopin

Faust

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor by Johann Sebastian Bach (i'm so sorry it just fits him)

O Fortuna : Carmina Burana by Carl Orff

Symphony No. 5 by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Jean

Moonlight Sonata, 1st Movement by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Airs a faire fuir by Erik Satie

Valse Triste by Jean Sibelius

Dazai

Blue Danube by Johann Strauss II

Sleeping Beauty Waltz by Tchaikovsky

Tales of Hoffman, Barcarolle by Offenbach

Isaac

Flight of The Bumblebee by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov

Cradle Song AKA Lullaby by Johannes Brahms

Air on the G String by Johann S. Bach

Sebastian

Rondo Alla Turca by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Eine Kleine by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Symphonies de Fanfares : Rondeau by Jean Joseph Mouret

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp charles #ikevamp comte #ikevamp faust #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp sebastian

[svnaaaaaa]

Monte Carlo : Charles Leclerc AU (Part Six)

pairing : charles leclerc x fem reader

summary : making things up, y/n and charles finding ways towards each other.

warning(s) : none

previous : part five

next : part seven

masterlist

author's note : might be the shortest part ever. sorry.

tagging : (if you want to be tagged in, let me know)

recap :

charles looked at y/n with disappointment on his facial expression, making y/n looked at the floor. "i can explain this, please give me time." y/n begged, charles shooked his head no. "i've got no time with you, this situation is giving enough of explanation, besides the real amélie has given me enough explanation." charles informed as y/n looked at charles with shock face. "amélie? w-what do you mean by that?" y/n asked, charles walked towards the door. "i don't know who you are but if you're here to play with my feelings, you're wrong. to think that i started to feel comfortable around you, i knew something was wrong." charles told y/n and then he left the office room, making y/n slumped onto her knees. grace ran towards y/n, grabbing by her shoulders. "shh, you're okay y/n." grace whispered as she pulled y/n into a hug while y/n started to cry her eyes out.

-

a month later.

noah still got a month left before new semester started. amélie came back to monte carlo to look after y/n since the charles incident. and y/n, working hard and have been focusing on her work for her studies. which worrying everyone surrounds her. grace, especially. day time in the office without leaving it even for lunch break, except bathroom breaks. night time in the room of the suite, not eating anything except for drinking water.

and grace have never seen her like this before. but she have seen her sister like this before. it was the effect of a heartbreak.

weeks after weeks, it was the day they were suppose to went back to university of sydney. but grace went alone because y/n wanting to go to her uncle isaac's home in canada, montreal to be exact. "hey kiddo." uncle isaac greeted as he saw y/n in his view. y/n smiled weakly at his way and went into his arms of hug. uncle isaac chuckled as he brushed through his niece's hair. "tough life, huh?" uncle isaac asked and he felt his niece's head nodded against his chest. uncle isaac nodded his head too, understood what was happening to his niece a month ago. it was told by noah and uncle isaac decided to bring y/n here for her recovery.

"so i see that the auction party went well, did you had fun back then?" uncle isaac asked as he placed y/n's comfort drink in front of her. "it was fine, i am happy that i could help." y/n replied as she slowly sip on the drink. uncle isaac smiled at the reply.

from what has been told by noah, y/n replaced amélie's place as amélie to the monaco grand prix because of the pr purpose but apparently, y/n developed feelings towards one of the drivers from ferrari, charles leclerc. but then, it eventually exposed when charles called the real amélie and things turned bad since then. now here is y/n, in montreal.

-

a jacket was thrown on y/n's head. y/n took it off of her head and looked at the one who threw it at her way. it was amélie. amélie? "get up loser, we have some guy to beat up on." amélie said as she grabbed y/n's hands and pulled her up, making y/n stands up. y/n groans. "why?" y/n whined as she almost slumped back onto the couch but caught by noah. "because we care for you and we want you to be happy." noah replied as he wrapped his arms around his sister's waist. y/n sighed. "i don't deserve to be happy." y/n said and she groaned and slumped into noah's arms, making noah tighten up his grip. "no, you don't." noah said as he chuckled.

"come on, we have a race to go." noah announced as he pushed y/n out of the house.

-

"charles." the brunette turned around and saw his spaniard partner, calling for him. charles went to him. "i know i should not interfere into your personal problems but don't you think it has been a long time since you talked to her?" carlos asked, making charles sighed. "mate, i should have not be with her in the first place. i don't even know who she is, she's not real." charles replied and this time carlos sighed. "i know this is not my place to intervene but she's real." carlos said as he holds charles' shoulders and then he turned charles around. charles' eyes widen up. "and she's here." carlos ended and he let go of charles' shoulders.

charles saw y/n walked her way towards him. charles noticed that she looks a bit pale. her lips were in pale peach colour, her complexion seems to fade its colour. her eyes, looks almost sunken. charles shorten the walk by walking towards her way and their meet each other. it was silent even if they were surrounded by people and noise.

"are you okay?"

was all charles asked. y/n looked up at him and charles could see the sorrowness reflected on her eyes. he gave an impact on her. her feelings for him were genuine. and he broke her heart.

"i don't expect you to forgive me but i am sorry. i meant nothing wrong, maybe i just caught up with my feelings." y/n explained herself as charles slowly pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. "it's okay, i forgive you." charles said and he felt her arms wrapping around his waist. charles smiled weakly.

"i love you."

y/n pulled away from the hug and once again, looked up at him. "what?" y/n asked in disbelief and charles keep on smiling at her. "i love you y/n." charles repeated again and this time, he cupped y/n's cheeks. "for a whole month, ever since i left you, i keep on thinking about you." charles started as he carassed his thumbs on y/n's apple cheeks, making him smiled.

"i imagine of how you would be there at the paddock, cheering for me after races. how you and me go back home to a place both of us felt like home, and i even imagine you and i, maybe a wedding." charles ended his speech. y/n's eyes brighten up. "a wedding?" y/n asked, making charled chuckled. "m-maybe in the future, sure." charles replied as y/n smiled at the thought. "i like that." y/n answered and then as they were about to lean in, charles' engineer entered.

"charles, gear up now." xavi said as both charles and y/n chuckled. "see you after the race?" charles asked and y/n nodded her head yes, smiling brightly at charles. "i will be here." y/n replied, making charles kiss y/n's head lightly.

#charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #scuderia ferrari #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fic #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 #formula one x you #formula one x y/n #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula one fanfiction #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc series

[gaslysainz]

Lost (PG10) pt.1

Summary: The world is utterly unfair. He was her most prized possession, her life, her first ever commitment of love. But to him, she was just a mere person lost in his big world.

warnings: ; unrequited feelings; Pierre is a douche , arrange marriage, angst, heartbreak.

Author's Note~ Heya guys! So I had put out a post about getting motivation to write something up, so thank you to all for commenting and encouraging me! Love You All 😘

Here's my first ever story for you guys. As soon as I finish this one, I'll start taking requests maybe! Till then please show your love and support for "LOST".

Journal Entry -1

LOVE....It's something that i have always yearned for.

Even if it's fake. A little bit of admiration, a simple compliment can make my day. 

It's been like this ever since my brother, Isaac Conti left the world. I started living with my step mother Annie Conti and my step sister Julia Conti. Yes, Isaac was my step sibling too but he never made me feel like i'm not his own sister.

My brother was the only one who actually loved me and admired me to the fullest in this family. My mother was an Indian and was forced to marry my father after she saved him from an accident when he was travelling in India. I was a part of a mistake. Ever since my maa died everyone except my brother treated me like shit. Even my father. 

But then i met him. My love of my life, the most important person in my life. My husband Pierre Gasly, the playboy of the F1 track!

Once again life played a merciless game with me. The man that i'm committed to, married to , bound by vows is in love with someone else. To be more clear he's in love with my sister Julia Conti.

How pathetic am i to have a life like this huh! We've been married for about 7 months now because that was my brother's last wish before leaving us. Pierre was his friend and he thought that getting me hitched would've been the best thing to do, but to think of it , it was his biggest mistake. He knew i've always had feelings for a certain blue eyed boy, thus, his decision, but what he didn't know was that Pierre has always been in love with my sister and married me only to get close to her. Pierre cleared everything out for me once we came back from the reception right after our wedding.

Now it's been a few days, two months to be exact that they've been dating , oh! and also sleeping around. What's sad is that i've caught them a few times during action in his bedroom. The only thing that i could do is simply go up to the terrace, look up to the sky and cry my eyes out calling out my Maa and my Brother. I don't blame Isaac for anything.  It's all my fate. 

I'm a pathetic excuse of a human as my husband likes to call me, who does not deserve anything in this world except for tears and sadness.

If you're wondering if Pierre had always been like this? Then let me tell you No! 

It all started after 1 month of our marriage when  he started talking to my sister more and giving her more attention. The lies that had been fed to him by my Step Mother and Step Sister about me is what he believed at the end of the day.

Life has always been a mockery for me. I am not allowed to speak to anyone, it's not like i have any friends to talk to. The only thing i am useful for is to tag along with Pierre to a few of his races or a few other important events as his trophy wife just cause it's an obligation.

No one really knows what happens in our life everyday, not even his grid mates. I'm sure it wouldn't have made any difference seeing they are his best friends. I'm not even allowed to talk to them even if i've seen them around at parties and races. I think my attitude has probably led them to think that i'm a snobby little bitch just like my Step sister. Oh yes! I do use bad words sometimes cause why not? I'm supposed to be able to do at least certain things in life right?

It's not like Pierre is going to read what i'm writing here? 

I've given up everything, every little dreams of mine, SO if you ask me if i think that Pierre is ever gonna love me back , then my answer is No!I would never even dream about thinking that he's gonna love me back.

But there's one person who always looks out for me, he's my only friend I suppose, and that's a certain ferrari driver with a charming smile that always lifts up my mood.

Anyways,I'll just sit aside and keep loving Pierre forever, even after he leaves me for my step sister after a year of our marriage. Just 5 more months to go. 5 more months to be with him. 5 more months to stay by his side as trophy wife when he goes out for parties and races. 

His world is a big one. Where he has got his grid mates, his family, his fans, his work people , my step sister even my step mom...... Everyone except for good ol' me....

I, Mrs. Y/n Gasly is just a LOST case in his big world...

Let's see where the upcoming 5 months take us....

PS - Please lemme know what do you think about LOST and also let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list ❤️

#pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #f1 x reader #f1 #formula1 #angst #unrequited love #marriage #charles leclerc #carlos sainz #charles x reader #carlos sainz x reader #lando norris #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #mick schumacher #esteban ocon #oscar piastri #lewis hamilton #alex albon #george russell #lance stroll #fernando alonso #logan sargeant #yuki tsunoda #nico hulkenberg #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #kevin magnussen

[vampire-the-askerade]

Could I request the vampires of your choice reacting to the fledgingly presenting cute and adorable only to end up seeing that they are absolutely terrifying in the end. Like, they cause even the bravest of kindred to feel terror. Just cute but spooky 👻

[sorry to make you wait so long for this, and thanks for asking :)]

LaCroix- Listen if there's two things he loves most in this world (after himself, of course) it's decadence and surprise attacks. You're like a dream come true! He can basically use you as decor for his office, and sick you on people. It might be a bit more strained if your flavor of cute is something more along the lines of bright colors or like scene or something. That doesn't match the curtains. However, loves the Lolita look(strictly the fashion, not the questionable stuff).

Imalia- Similar to LaCroix, except since she was in the fashion industry, she likes seeing the outfits/make up/general looks you come up with. Gets so caught up in the dress up game, that she forgets how much of a threat you are. The other Nos don't, and she has no problem telling them she'll send you after them as a scare tactic. Sees you as "my style buddy that bites people sometimes."

Skelter- It wasn't that he totally hated you, but like with how innocent you looked he thought that you were going to be a constant problem they would have to look after. When Nines reminded him that the Anarchs could use all the help they could get, Skelter was still hesitant... for two minutes. When a full grown biker walked away from you sobbing, he knew you could take most people down. Still worried that your cute nature will give the wrong impression about the group as a whole.

Isaac- You actually kinda embarrass him. Not that he cares about your personality or style; he's been in Hollywood long enough to have seen plenty varieties on both those things. What he had also been for a long time was a baron. That meant he was able to clock peoples' personalities; that included yours. However, not everyone else was that astute, so all many people saw was their feared leader nervous about a rabbit in human(kindred, I guess) form.

Andrie- Look, I know I choose him a lot for these things, but I think it's hilarious in this case. Especially if you dress in what's considered a cutesy style too. Like, you have the dark, foreboding, creature of the night and right next to him is like, Hatsune Miku or something. Like, it's a terrible situation for the victims either way, but the last thing they see is 👹🦄

#vtmb #vtmb imagins #vtmb lacroix #sebastian lacroix #vtmb skelter #vtmb imalia #vtmb andrei