#feminization :) just constant and wrong all the time

[thelioncourts]

it's getting more and more difficult to engage in fandom as a large-scope community because the only thing that actually gains any kind of popularity is meme content created by people who 1) don't want to interact with the story as it's being presented 2) want to engage with dark content only when it fits the narrative they wish the entire story to have 3) truly have such a high level of media illiteracy that they view everything as a full-blown attack versus education/discussion. and it's frustrating because you'll see the most insanely inaccurate takes get regurgitated by the same 25 loud people who, in turn, influence the meme content that gets created (or the meme content is just being created by those same 25 loud people) and so the meme content is a direct reflection of the level of thought/analysis being put into said fandom and it makes the memes not even funny, just caricatures of what they could be. and everyone is so bent out of shape at the thought of being told they're incorrect, that they're wrong, that conversation is impossible because they're so determined to do anything to showcase their assumed superiority as opposed to learning and listening in any kind of capacity.

I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said by people much more eloquent than me, but it sucks so much watching stories that are truly complex and that have so much work put into them be reduced to twitter popularity controlled by people who don't know what they're talking about.

#like? you want to correct people - even kindly just for educational reasons at least #but you know that no one is listening they don't want to listen they don't care your thoughts are irrelevant to #whatever it is they're thinking #but then it feels like you yourself are doing a disservice to the story and the people that have put work into it #and the people that are impacted by it in different kinds of levels of ways #anyway i'll delete this i'm sure i'll get some kind of hate message about it #but it makes me. so concerned about the soon-to-be existence of things #feel like I should clarify that some of the huge things I’m referencing are: #inability and full on refusal to acknowledge and understand the race issues being presented in the show #saying it’s -gothic- when you’re talking about them all being monsters but if lestat is criticized it’s bad #not knowing how to read :) just in general you guys can’t read books it’s wild #feminization :) just constant and wrong all the time

[zjpg]

just a girl

'politics'

last - m.list - next

[march - pre season testing]

WARNING: misogyny, mean parents, politics and feminism (?)

the past two hours were filled with phone calls, all because of some words on her helmet. her pr team telling her to stay off social media while they control incoming questions, red bull management trying to defuse the media, horner telling her to 'stay tight' until it all 'passes by', her parents arguing with her, her brother's giving their opinions. she's talked to so many people in less that five hours and she's exhausted.

everyone has been checking on her since twitter erupted with criticism, towards her and each other. but after her morning, she wanted nothing to do with anyone. the silence on her end since the press conference must've been concerning, bottas and kimi even called her. but she's been ignoring every incoming phone call and text message. she took a bath, read a book, made some friendship bracelets, just anything to get her mind off of the constant hate.

she's glad that other drivers and teams are sticking up for her. it made her happy to see that the wolff family had her back along with her own team principal. she has new stations reaching out to her personally and asking for statements, assuming her team already shut them all down, she deleted each email. so unprofessional.

she was reading as she played some soft music in the background, the hotel suite she had been staying in gave her a luxurious yet cozy feel. she felt safe and comfortable in her little bubble, until someone came and popped it by knocking on her door. she sighed, letting the music play but putting the book down before answering it. swinging it open, she saw the familiar eyes staring at her from the other side of the door.

"what are you doing here?" she asked with a head tilt, letting him in even though she didn't want to.

"you're not answer me, or anyone for that matter." pierre sighed and walked in, holding a box of what looked to be pastries from the café down the street. "apple strudel, eclair's, and macarons." her favorite pastries, charles and arthur always bought her one - or all - whenever she got sad as a child. now it's become a less prevalent tradition as they've grown, she doesn't show much sadness anymore.

she excepted the pink box from his hand, sighing but taking them to the kitchen as he follows behind like a lost puppy. "why are you ignoring everyone? shutting us all out isn't going to make anything any better."

she knew he was right, and that's why she only grew more furious. she didn't like being wrong.

"i just need some time alone." she grumbled and turned back to him after placing the goodies on the counter, leaning against it. "i've been getting phone calls, text messages, and emails all week from people wanting something from me-"

"i don't want anything from you other than knowing if you're okay."

"i'm fine!"

"it doesn't seem like it!" her bareface was nothing new to him or really anyone else, she never wore makeup at the tracks, but it's the state of her disheveled hair, yesterday's pajamas, and the red eyes that made the current state of her mind very clear to the frenchman.

she let out a breath and gripped the roots of her hair out of frustration before releasing them again, "pierre. i need some space."

"everyone's giving you space, addilyn, we're worried."

"well don't be!" she snapped, yelling at him. in all his years of knowing her, the only time he's ever heard her yell is during race's and he wouldn't even call that yelling. "i can handle myself! everything going on is so fucking unfair! but i can't show that i'm upset like the rest of you can. i can't be unhappy, i need to be grateful, i need to smile and be polite! it doesn't matter if i'm losing a race or getting sent death threats, i need to be happy!" tears verged her eyes, her lower lip wobbling "please leave."

"addi-"

"pierre. please just go. i don't want comfort. i want you out."

he didn't want to, but he listened. he wanted to hug her, validate everything she's feeling, tell her she's going to get through it and how much everyone loved her. but he could tell in her voice, her eyes, she really didn't want him there. and he didn't take that personal, or at least tried not to. because at the end of the day he will never understand what she's experiencing.

he sighed, inching closer to her, watching as she allowed him to give her a small peck on her temple, "please take care of yourself." he said before leaving. as soon as the door closed, addi collapsed to the marble floor, her knees betraying her. she sobbed loudly, thankful for the thickness in the walls.

this week long period between practice and the race was going to be excruciating, not just for her but everyone. the press and media are going insane on everything from news outlets to social media. a lot of people are standing up for her, but it's the portion that are sending her death threats that she sees.

she's never felt so powerless before. even being surrounded by over-powering men, she's never felt so powerless. she feels lonely, but a part of her likes that emptiness. the emptiness of not having to talk about the same three things every second, the emptiness of not having to force a laugh at an unfunny joke.

she looks through all her missing texts, she didn't realize how much they've built up over the past 24 hours.

claire your brother told me what your parents said, are you okay? don't listen to them i head you're kinda ignoring everyone at the moment. i'll leave you be just know we all love and care about you i love you🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

daniel It's easy to let words affect you, trust me I know. I've obviously never experienced anything near this, but I can't imagine how you're feeling right now If you need a good laugh I have this really great movie to show you, so feel free to stop by anytime😊

nolan Mom and Dad need to get their head outta their asses. I'm sorry they said thatCharles called me. Just keep yourself safe and healthy.

arthurAre you okay? I know you're probably not I'm sorry you're going through this. I heard your PR team is saying you aren't accepting gift right now It's probably best, for security reasons. But a little girl came up to me in the lobby and asked if I would give you a bracelet she made. I told her I would, so whenever you're ready just stop by. I'll keep it safe for you :) Love you. ❤️

christian We're getting it sorted out Keep your head high kid!

max People are idiots. Don't listen to them. You know your worth. Let me know if you need anything, I support you.

pierreI know you said to leave you alone. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for yesterday. It wasn't right of me to bombard like that. I hope you enjoy the pastries though! I saw them while I was out and thought you could use some right now. Let me know if that bakery is any good, might buy myself some :) Love you!🤍

lewisHey, Addi You want to come visit Roscoe? I'm sorry about what's happening. Can anyone ship out Jewel? We all need a comfort buddy sometimes. Don't let what people say affect you, I know it a lot more easier said than done, but try.

mom Answer your father.

dad Answer my calls Your manager needs to stop telling me what to do I am your father. I come before sports. Your brothers told me you just aren't speaking to anyone. Stop being ridiculous. I told you not to make outrageous statements like that during season. And you add it to your helmet?!? Are you crazy Addilyn? You're going to get yourself killed one day!

yuki Do you want some food? I can bring you some 😁 Pierre told me you're kinda shutting down. We're all worried. But i understand you need space. So just let me know if you need anything :)

louisI told you this would happen Idk why you didn't just listen to me I told you if you put that stuff on your helmet people would notice and cause an uproar Posted or not.

sebastian Addilyn? I heard something about you not talking to anyone. Charles told me about your parents, I hope that's okay. Don't be mad at him, I sort of pushed it out of him. I'm here if you need me Kiddo. Don't fade away. I'll be there for you. 😁

valtteri You okay? How are you holding up?

estabonWe aren't close or anything, but you called me 'Estie Bestie' so I'm gonna count that as being friends. You need to talk to Charles or Pierre. Or someone. People don't know what they're saying online.

charlesTalk to me. Addi I know you're going through a lot right now but please talk to someone. Nolan told me about the argument with your parents. And Pierre told me what happened yesterday. No one's mad at you. At least let me know you're alive

kimi Hey kid, talk to someone, it's getting concerning.

lando I've been trying to stay offline. every tweet I see just pisses me off. I tried not to call or text because I know you want some space right now. But I hate no knowing if you're okay. Please talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me, just talk to someone. Adds please tell me you're okay. I care about you a lot Charles helped me with that, I hope he wasn't lying to me.

of course other drivers and teams have messaged her a few times since the incident began, but those are just from last night and the current day. she sighed, thinking to herself for a moment before opening one of the chats.

addi i'm alive

charlesGood. How are you?

addicould be better.

charlesYou wanna talk about it?

addi I'm so tired. i just wanted to stand up for women everywhere and now i'm getting death threats.

charlesI know, Chérie. I wish there was more i could do for you.

addii just want to race.

charlesYou will. Next weekend And you're gonna win And prove to everyone that you're more than just a girl.

addidoes that mean you'll let me pass you?

charlesI never said the winning part was going to go easily 😉

addipassing you is pretty easy, was just hoping we could avoid collision 😁

charlesOh screw off!For real though, do you need me to come over?

addiCould you?

charlesYeah, I'll be over in just a second with Charlotte❤️

taglist: @love4lando @fairiepoems @leilanixx @ietss @charli123456789 @ayoanna @enhacolor @be-your-coffee-pot @alixnsuperstxr @vellicora @tpwkstiles

a/n: i lied i'm uploading cause i wanna be cruel :) ALSO i would like to note that i'm aware the slogans on her helmet are not only used in america, the hater's tweet was solely to show their ignorance and that they are misinformed, i'm well aware of the terms and phrases being used all of the world (as they should be) 🫶🏻

#˗ˏˋ lucie. ❝ just a girl ❞ #lando norris #formula 1 #arthur leclerc #charles leclerc #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 x female reader #f1 x oc #f1 imagine #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly insta au #pierre gasly smau #lando norris smau #lando norris insta au #lando norris imagine #arthur leclerc smau #arthur leclerc insta au #arthur leclerc imagine

[lokisasylum]

I feel bad for "Jimin biased armys" 'cause they're still struggling to understand why "the rest of the fandom" don't support Jimin the way they do with other members.

They don't stream (and when they do, they use the wrong type of playlists which only benefit OTHER members more than Jimin)

They don't vote.

They don't CARE or bother to share any of his campaigns, updates, records, news.

The only time they seem to "care" is when they want to weaponize his words against his solo fanbases (who are actually keeping his songs stable with 24/7 streaming parties on all platforms). Or when they want to flex his skills against other fandoms to create fanwars only to throw him under the bus.

And this isn't recent, I've said it already on X.

As an OG fan, I've been seeing this pattern since before they won their first Daesang at MAMA. Then it progressively got louder when they won their first billboard music award in 2017, 'cause that's when more toxic shippers and kppopies joined the fandom as BTS got bigger in the US.

And you can come here with your sheep mentality and tell me that: "Oh Armys are just projecting the hatred they feel towards his solos on to him---"

BULLSHIT

It is known IN AND OUT of the fandom that a LARGE portion of it always hated Jimin. The reason it wasn't so obvious (aside from the constant gaslighting from the company's part feeding the "One big happy family" agenda) is that openly hating a member back then was considered hating the group as a whole.

But you could always tell and see the constant microaggressions, the back-handed comments, downplaying his abilities, over-and-hyper-feminization (to an almost fetishizing degree) of his persona in order to project him as "weak", "helpless", "he's nothing without the group" (or certain members).

And even when he proved everybody WRONG before and during his solo debut. That he COULD stand on his own two feet, that he IS more than capable and TALENTED enough to write & compose his own music. Guess what? That LARGE portion of the fandom who always hated him as part of the group, now hated him even more as a soloist. They just found a way to justify the hate they've always felt for HIM by using his solos. 'Cause what do you mean other solos get free passes everyday to hate on him since YEARS ago and still those other members get all the support despite having the worst solos because "its not the member's fault".

And the funny part is THOSE are the people who managed to groom and gaslight the rest of the fandom into this delusion of "pjms are the most vile", "pjms are the devils", "they should all be k*lled".

Why? Because we got tired of staying quiet? Got tired of being just bystanders and decided to take action? Decided that enough was enough and started fighting back?

So really, wtf are ya'll still acting surprised for?

If 'FACE' era didn't open your eyes, then I'm afraid you're a lost cause atp as a Jimin biased.

#let it go babes #stop depending on the big fanbases ALL of them are jimin antis #worry about yourself and only follow his own fanbases if you wanna stay updated #jimin #park jimin #bts jimin #jiminie #bts

[moonfruito]

i am going to rip jay ferin's characterisation out of some of you people’s hands because i have had ENOUGH of the girlboss narrative. jay is a very competent and intelligent character, and often more so than the men around her, but to reduce her to a badass with a gun more sensible then any man ever is so inaccurate and harmful. the pattern remains constant that as soon as a woman that has been treated as 'can do no one wrong smart girl' makes a decision that is questionable or morally grey or just a mistake the perception of her switches up to the other end of the spectrum like lightning and suddenly she's evil. it's a straight up victorian understanding of the purity of female morality. set her up on a pedestal so she has higher to fall from. she's supposed to be the perfect moral guidance for the men around her. if she fails to guide them and they do wrong then it's her fault. if she does not at all times emulate feminine virtue then she has failed her purpose. it is easier then you think to fall into the trap of changing nothing but the language of an old misogynistic or otherwise bigoted narrative and reframing it as empowerment. these are old, patriarchal understandings of gender that you are parroting but you think that it's feminism because everyone else calls it that. take a step back and think critically about where these ideas are coming from.

#jrwi #just roll with it #jrwi jay #jay ferin #my textpost #jrwi riptide

[satancopilotsmytardis]

do you think tomura would ever let dabi try to dom him? /which of ur shigarakis is most likely to humor dabi like that?

I don't think any dabi would get very far without either his brain shutting off the moment it feels good, or crying and begging for help bc it just doesn't feel as good as when his sir (or daddy.... 👀) does it.

or maybe, he starts crying bc oh no he's supposed to be making his sir feel good and he can't do it right and-- tomura takes pity on him. fucks him into the mattress since he tried sooo hard, tells him it's okay, it's not his fault he was made to be a pretty little cumdump.

So I have talked about this before, and I always said that them switching would go horrendously badly, however certain *ahem* phrasing in this ask activated the brain worms so:

Switching It Up

Ship: Shigadabi

Rating: E

Contents: BDSM, feminization, lingerie, Daddy kink, dehumanization, objectification, orgasm denial/delay, anal sex, anal fingering, oral sex mentioned, marathon sex implied, aftercare, cumplay, creampie, cum swallowing, humiliation kink, praise kink, Dabi Is Bad At Feelings and is Feeling Bad.

Word count: 5253

You can also read on AO3, here!

He had not cared one bit about subbing for Shigaraki when they first got together. Dabi has always been a switch and fairly ambivalent to his partners' gender and sex, taking what he could get when he could get it given his own appearance, and had been more curious than anything else when he caught wind of Shigaraki's interest. He had thought initially that Duster would end up being a virgin and would definitely need a few spins with a partner before he could trust the other man to not blow immediately if he was gonna get fucked by him. 

But the first encounter Dabi had decided to start with a blowjob and by the time he was on his knees with Shigaraki petting his hair and losing a constant stream of filth too personalized and specific to be taken from pornos and Dabi had found out he had a cock big enough to go all the way down his throat and pull painfully at his staples, he had been proven abruptly and stunningly wrong. He hadn't even thought to ask about topping one he was being pulled up from the floor and held up against the wall as Shigaraki kept murmuring those filthy things and fingered him open so expertly that he'd nearly gone off before his dick even got touched. Then Duster fucked him so good he had cried because he'd cum so many times and he absolutely passed out. And the next morning, Shigaraki kissed him so gentle and sweet and told him what a good boy he'd been for him and Dabi was fucking lost. 

He would have, embarrassingly, probably done anything Shig asked him to after that, but thankfully Tomura was experienced with this stuff and the safety practices around harder play. He made Dabi sit down with him and actually go through the things he wanted to do and what he didn't and set his limits. That had been nice too. And then came the part of the conversation where Shigaraki laid out what he liked and Dabi had nearly overheated. It wasn't a surprise, then, that Shig took his time introducing new play into their scenes, working it up hotter and hotter until Dabi was doing things that he never thought he would be into and that he would never admit to under the most heinous of tortures. 

So he really, really had not wanted any of the other members to know what he and Duster were doing behind those closed and double locked doors. He was pretty sure the others were under the impression that the two of them had a strictly professional relationship. It wasn't any of their business so he hadn't bothered to say anything. He didn't want to get into it. They kept their play and their relationship very private. 

But after taking the CRC mansion, they'd had somewhere safe to sleep and hide out, and Dabi had a little bit of money stashed away, and god damn it he missed playing rough with Duster. So he'd grabbed himself a new pair of pretty lacy pink panties and waited until all of the others were out of base for a few days. Compress and Toga were off doing some kind of heist for a fence of Compress's to bring in a little extra money and Twice and Spinner were supposed to be going out trying to hook up with some pro-heteromorph extremist group that they had found out about from papers in this base planning a raid against them. They were hoping that they would all be able to get on the same side. Two days of travel minimum since they couldn't use most more public routes, and then however long it actually took to do the job. Dabi thought it was pretty safe when he fingered himself open and dripping, put on his panties and one of Tomura's shirts, and nothing else before going to find his lover. 

It just to happened that he found him down in the living room, reading through more of the papers they had salvaged from the other rooms. He hadn't even looked up, immediately starting to say something about work so Dabi had marched right over and sat in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and simpering, 

"Daddy, I need you." And that had gotten all of his lover's attention in exactly the right kind of way. 

It hadn't taken long to have him half hanging off of the couch, Tomura's cock buried inside of him, fucking him so hard he was smoking, sobbing, and moaning so, so loudly, because each time he got close, his lover would change the angle or slow down to keep him from going over the edge. 

"Daddy," he plead, bloody tears dripping across his cheeks as he clutched desperately onto him. 

"Tell me what you want, baby girl. If you ask nicely, maybe you'll earn a reward." 

And he knew what that meant by then. Meant he needed to beg, and he needed to be specific and ask for what he wanted clearly, or he wouldn't get it at all. "Please, please, Daddy, please, let me cum. It feels so good with your cock in my pussy. Want you to make me cum. Want your hand on my clit, please. Want your cum in my cunt, Daddy." 

"Such a good girl, princess." And he'd moaned so loudly as Tomura had reached to start to stroke him--

"What the fuck?" The words were choked out and entirely out of place and the shock had Dabi's temperature flaring higher and their movements coming to a jerky uncoordinated stop and they both spotted Twice and Spinner, the later blushing furiously beneath his scales, but apparently too shellshocked to move from the doorway. 

Twice had burst out laughing, and then his contradictions had cut in, "Not cool, guys! We all sit on that couch!" And that had broken Spinner's stupor. 

"Holy fucking shit, oh my god, whose underwear--" Had lost the words in a choked squeak as Dabi saw the pink panties hanging off of the armrest and had felt himself blush furiously as well before he reached over and snatched them as if that would hide the incriminating piece of fabric. "No. Nope. Christ." And he had turned and left the room, still blushing, dragging Twice along with him. 

Needless to say neither of them finished. He had really, really hoped that they would all repress that incident and never speak of it again. And then Twice, and about a week after him, Spinner, had started making little teasing jabs out of Shig's earshot. 

"Hey, Dabi-- Yo, princess,"

"You gonna run that by 'Daddy'?" 

Nothing particularly egregious, but humiliating all the same. He had ignored it, he was absolutely planning on acting like it never happened. Absolutely not going to tell Shig about it and get accused of tattling to his Daddy. But it soured his mood, and that was obvious no matter how he tried to hide it. The other's aren't totally assholes, so when they'd noticed how quiet he'd gotten, how little time he would spend around them again, they'd knocked it off and apologized, but that hadn't made him feel any better. 

///

It's been three months since then. He fucked off for two of them, only coming back when they'd first reached out to the doctor, and then once again when the MLA pulled their bullshit in Deika. Then there was a solid month of restructuring the PLF and his lover and friends being treated so that they weren't broken anymore. And he hasn't scened with Tomura since they were walked in on. 

He probably should be expecting it when Duster, once he's healed enough to think about those kinds of things again, bullies him onto the couch in the seating area in their room to talk. 

"What's going on, baby girl?" And Dabi bristles, his gut souring immediately with his humiliation. 

"Don't call me that!" He snarls. "I'm not a girl and I'm tired of playing one for you. If you want a girl, then just dump me and find one. Not like you don't have a whole army throwing themselves at you now." 

He regrets the words as soon as they're out of his mouth, as soon as he sees Tomura's expression go soft and hurt with his surprise. He wants to take them back, but his aching pride won't let him. "...I'm sorry, Dabi, I didn't realize that was bothering you." His voice is measured and calm, but in the way it used to get when he was trying to placate Kurogiri or appeal to AFO's better mood, and Dabi feels even worse. "But I don't want a woman, I want you. You're... everything to me, Dabi." 

Guilt gnaws through him and makes him feel impossibly small. He can't even meet Shig's eyes when he mumbles. "...I just don't want to play like that anymore." God, he'd never say that his mouth ever gets him out of trouble, but he didn't know it could get him into so much so quickly. He doesn't remember he felt like he was this close to tears when he wasn't being actively edged. 

"That's okay, firefly. That's why we negotiate." Duster reaches over and hesitates a second, but then catches his hand between three of his fingers. "What can we do to make this work better for you?" 

He should stop this, should just backtrack, should do something to explain to Tomura why he's so upset, but he doesn't have the right words. "I don't know. I don't like being..." He just stumbles into the wrong ones. "The sub all the time." 

Tomura's grip changes, tensing a little more. He told Dabi when they first started sleeping together he really hated bottoming and that he very rarely ever subbed and when he did, it was not his favorite activity and he found it hard to get off like that. And Dabi said that was fine because Tomura's cock was a fucking miracle and he was happy to have it inside of him as often as he could without actually destroying his guts. "Okay, firefly. That's fine, we can figure that out too." 

He means it too, still holding his hand and starting to talk about the things he's willing to do as a sub so that Dabi will feel better about their scening. And Dabi is in so deep, he can't say a word as he keeps feeling worse and worse.

///

But he still can't speak up. Tomura and he talk about him subbing with Dabi feeling sick the whole time, and go to bed without doing anything besides cuddling up together, and even then, Duster doesn't hold him close to his chest, cradling him and murmuring sweet little praises into his hair. He lets Dabi curl around his body instead. It doesn't feel right and he can't fall asleep for hours, and when he manages it, it's fitful and miserable. He's not even surprised when he wakes, gasping for breath, smoke pouring from his seams and an aborted sob caught in the back of his throat as he shakes the nightmare, the memory, of his father treating him like he was nothing, like he was small, pathetic, useless, the second he couldn't live up to his standards. Duster isn't in bed. But he never stays all night, and Dabi makes the wise choice to go cry in the shower so that there's no blood on the sheets or evidence of how badly he's doing for the other to find. Things are already so strained. Tomura's already worried about him, he doesn't want to make it worse when he's the one who's being an asshole. 

He's mostly pulled it together, at least on the outside, by the next day. He's spent years perfecting his persona, putting it on again is like second nature, and he thinks it does a decent job of hiding how badly he is still feeling. But Tomura doesn't bring up anything sexual for the next week except asking if he knows what kind of domming style he prefers. He can't even contemplate that and shrugs, says he can do whatever Tomura likes. He's never dommed anyone before. He wasn't even into BDSM until after he and Duster got together, and he keeps pleading silently for his lover to see that, but he doesn't. He takes his words at face value because Tomura trusts that he knows what he can handle and what he can't. 

Dabi cannot handle this. 

Tomura kneels at his feet, his head down and his hands laying against his legs. He likes to be dehumanized when he's subbing. Not like how Dabi likes to be objectified. He likes to be a tool for his dom, something less than human, said that Dabi could use him as furniture, use any part of his body for his pleasure, just wanted him to take as much as he wanted out of him. And... not talk to him like he's a person. 

"Toy," he tries to keep his voice even. It's been half an hour. He was pretending that he was letting the anticipation build the way his lover does to him so often when they have time for longer play, but he had been desperately trying to figure out what he could have Tomura do. Duster doesn't look up, but he knows he's listening. Normally when Duster wants to get things started, when he wants to move into the more overtly sexual aspect of their play, he teases or praises Dabi, rewards or punishes him to get him to where he wants. But that's isn't what Tomura likes. He doesn't need to be rewarded, doesn't care about praise, he only wants to know that he's being effective by bringing his dom pleasure. And he doesn't want to be talked to like that. He doesn't even want to be kissed-- had a bad experience with a dom who used to kiss him while they were scening. He doesn't want any of the things that make Dabi feel so good as a sub, and that's the only frame of reference he really has. He tried to do his research, found out this seems like a form of service subbing, but that doesn't mean he knows how to navigate it. 

He thinks he would rather be putting in a fresh round of staples when he orders. "On your feet. I want to play with my toy." Tomura stands and Dabi follows, gesturing for him to move over towards the bed. "Strip." 

His lover does as he's told, removing his clothes layer by layer almost mechanically and Dabi can't feel any arousal in the actions. neither of them are even a bit hard by the time he's finished and Dabi is near begging, rather than commanding, "And now mine." Just trying to get his lover's hands on him like they usually are. But this feels different too. Tomura doesn't strip off his clothes with lingering touches, or hot kisses, or filthy words murmured against his skin. He strips him down methodically, not letting his hands stray, not pressing kisses to his skin as he exposes it, just doing as he's told and not bothering with anything else. 

"On the bed." He makes Tomura sit on the edge and climbs fully into his lap. He can be a dom who bottoms, he knows that, and he's just desperate to have something feel good, feel normal. He reaches over to the nightstand for their lube and brings it over, "Open your hand." He does. Dabi gives a generous squirt smearing it along his fingers and then breathing, "Open me." 

His lover reaches around him, spreading him open and starting to work his fingers against his hole. Stroking and circling and Dabi wraps his fingers around his lover's cock and starts to stroke, pressing his face into his neck and nibbling and licking there since he can't kiss him. Tomura's neck is sensitive, and the stimulation they're both getting now seems to finally start to get their bodies on board, but none of it feels right. It's like his body is completely disconnected from his mind and he can't make himself enjoy this. He just can't. He whimpers and Tomura seems to think that it's a good sound, usually is when they're in bed together, and strokes a little firmer at that same spot inside of him. But it's not right. 

Dabi catches his wrist. "Enough, I'm ready." He shifts higher in Tomura's lap, guiding his cock so that his head is just starting to stretch his rim and rubs against him as he speaks. It's been months since they were able to fuck. This should feel good, he should be desperate for it, but his stomach is in shaky tight knots the whole time he speaks. "I'm going to use your pretty cock as a toy and you," he tries, "aren't going to move unless I tell you to. You're not going to cum unless I give you permission. If you think that you're getting close, I want you to tell me. Understand?" 

"Yes, sir." 

Dabi hides his face against his neck again so he doesn't see how hearing that, the wrongness of that, makes his eyes burn. He ignores it and sinks down. It doesn't feel nearly as good as it normally does when he gets to ride Tomura, this angle and gravity usually doing the work of pushing his lover in so deeply that Dabi is bleeding smoke from how good it feels. But even though it feels good because having his lover's cock inside of him always feels good, it's not the same. He doesn't have Tomura's hands on his hips, squeezing bruises there, telling him how cute he looks so desperate to be just a tight little fuckhole for someone to use, doesn't tell him what a good girl he's being taking his cock so deeply. Isn't kissing him or pulling at his hair or seams to put the perfect ache into his body that makes the pleasure taste so much sweeter. It's just this, and it's not enough, it's not right, and Dabi breaks with a sob, 

"Red," Tomura tenses beneath him and then his hands are on his body, stopping him, pulling him off, one catching his cheek to pull him back so that he can see his face as blood drips across his face. 

"Shit, what's wrong, baby g--" He stops himself and Dabi sobs a little more roughly. 

"Daddy," the word is a broken plea. 

"Shh, firefly, I'm right here. What do you need, sweetheart? What can I do to make it better?" 

He can't remember the last time he cried like this, hard sobs that nearly choke away his words. He's spilling smoke, shaking like a leaf, and his head is so messy. "I--I wanna be," he nearly hiccups on the words. "Wanna be your baby girl, want you to kiss me, want to be good for you. Daddy, please, I'm sorry--" 

"Oh princess, shh, it's okay, you're alright baby girl." Dabi keens as soon as he hears that, trying to press in even closer, desperate for the reassurance, for something to feel good after how heavy his misery has been as it sat inside of him for the past three months. 

Tomura wraps an arm around his waist and lifts him easily, shifting their positions so that Dabi has his back against the mattress and can spread his legs to have his lover's weight settling between them, over him. Small beneath him in a way that makes him feel safe in a way he doesn't know if he ever felt before he let himself submit to Tomura. Daddy leans down and kisses him, kisses away the tears going over his cheeks and his hands move to touch him. They stroke gently over his seams, along his thighs. 

"Baby girl, you can be Daddy's princess whenever you want to. I'm so proud of how hard you were trying. Would it be easier if I told you how good you were doing while we're playing?" 

Still trying to give him what he said he wanted before and Dabi shakes his head with another sob. "Don't wanna be a dom." And Tomura's brows pull together. "Never wanted to be a dom. Just wanna be your sub. Just want you to make me feel good, Daddy." 

"We can do that too, sweetheart, you know I love having you be such a mess under me--" 

Dabi keens, the words putting a needy pulse of heat in him finally despite the sickness that has been tying up his guts for the past few months. He immediately tries to chase that feeling, rocking up and trying to grind his clit against Daddy so he can see how much he needs more of that. Finally sees a little heat flicker through his worry and Dabi tangles his hands in Tomura's hair and pulls him in for a harder kiss. He doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to think, he just wants Daddy to make him feel good and take everything else away. He whimpers loudly as that earns Tomura's hips settling more firmly between his thighs, his slick cock rubbing against his wet pussy and putting sparks there that there weren't before. He lets out a loud moan when Tomura reaches between them to wrap four fingers around his clit and stroke teasingly up his ladder. It feels so good that he's letting out another sharp sob as he rocks up into the touch. 

"Already so messy, princess. So upset, but your pretty clit is still so wet, baby. You just can't help it, can you? Need Daddy's attention however you can get it, even if it means acting like such a desperate little slut." Shows him how much it's true when his clit twitches against his hand, dribbling out a little pre as he tries to fuck up into the lazy strokes of his fist. "Thought you would like being in charge and getting to demand all of it, but I should have known better. Little dolls like you aren't good at being anything but pretty little cumdumps." 

There's smoke leaking out of him fresh along with his tears and whimpers. He's hot, he's so hot again. hot for the first time since they were interrupted and he needs it. "Please, Daddy, empty, hurts." 

"Of course it does, princess." And one hand shifts, reaching for him and not hesitating to shove two fingers into his cunt, pushing in and immediately crooking to put a sharp pressure on his prostate. He moans loudly, rocking back to get more. "So here's what we're going to do, I'm going to fuck your hungry cunt until you're nice and full, princess. And then we're going to have a talk and you're going to do your best to keep your slutty hole tight and not spill any of Daddy's cum. If you can keep it all inside, then you'll get a reward, and if you can't Daddy is going to fuck your need throat until your tummy is just a full, understand?"

"Yes, Daddy." It's like the demand has put something back into its proper place. His whole body already feels more settled than it did before, his tears slowing to a stop and his head starting to float the way it's supposed to, the way that makes him feel so good when he's being Daddy's plaything. "Thank you, Daddy." 

"You're welcome, princess. Now, let's see if you can keep being so sweet for me while I fill up your needy cunt." 

His cock replaces his fingers and Dabi doesn't think about anything else for a long time. 

///

Tomura fills him up three times, only letting Dabi cum once in turn, before he waits until he's able to focus and then pulls out. He cleans up the cum that was pulled out of him with the movement but then makes Dabi strain to hold the rest inside as they settle on the bed, Dabi cuddling up against him as tightly as he can as Tomura strokes his hair. 

"Need to talk to me, baby girl. I don't... understand what happened. What didn't you like?" 

And he's still a mess, but he's floating a little too, even as he tries so hard to keep himself full and wet. "Made fun of me." 

"Baby, I'm never making fun of you--" 

He shakes his head weakly. "The others. After." He doesn't want to say after what, hiding his face against his chest, some of that sourness starting to work back out of him. "Made fun of me for being your little girl. Didn't like it. Made it hurt." The arms around him tighten slightly, and Dabi tries not to cry again as he mumbles. "Worked so hard to be more than what everyone thought I would be. Didn't want them to think," his voice is barely above a whisper, "that you listened to me because I was letting you fuck me." 

"Princess, you don't need to worry about that," he reassures him, pressing a kiss to his forehead and trying to wipe away some of his tears. "You've proven yourself to them, to me, over and over. Everyone knows that you are the hardest worker we have here." He hesitates. "And you know that I would have never given you this position if I didn't know you were capable of it? No matter what you want in bed, or how we play, you know that I think you could burn down the world singlehandedly if you put your mind to it, don't you, firefly?" 

He's spent so much of his life being told that he couldn't be anything beyond a broken shell that even being told that now doesn't fully settle. It doesn't soothe away all of the hurt that's living inside him, that he's worried will keep living in him for the rest of his life. But it helps a little. "Okay." Sees it in Tomura's face as he resolves to tell him it every day for the rest of their lives until Dabi believes him. 

"That's not how my princess shows he understands. You're our best soldier, Dabi, and what you like when we're playing doesn't change that." He waits expectantly. 

"... Yes, Daddy." He is not going to examine why that loosens a little bit more of the knot in his gut. "I love you." 

"I love you too, baby girl. Now, let me see if you've earned a reward," his hand moving down to his hole and Dabi whimpers, because he got so distracted by his sorrow he forgot to hold tight, and he can already feel Daddy's cum has leaked out over his skin. "Oh, princess," 

"I'm sorry, Daddy. It was so much." But this failure doesn't feel like the mockery or sourness before. Daddy set him an expectation to meet, and when he can't, he's not going to think less of him, not going to ignore him, or hurt him in a way that he doesn't like or can't handle. He's going to punish him a way they'll both enjoy, and he's going to clean him up afterwards and hold him. Won't stop loving him because he wasn't perfect. Won't stop knowing that he can do his job outside of their room just because he misbehaved in it. 

"I know, princess, and it's been a while too." He strokes his hair with his other hand, "So Daddy won't put on your ring as long as you don't play with your pretty clit while you're being punished." Which has him starting to blush there already in needy anticipation. He always gets so hot with Daddy's cock in his throat, and that concession means that he's going to let him cum as many times as he can from having his throat fucked alone as long as he behaves. 

"Thank you, Daddy." 

Tomura wipes away another sticky track of his tears. "You're welcome, baby girl, now come here. Once you're all done with your punishment Daddy wants to give you a bath and spend the rest of the night doting on on his sweet little girl." 

///

Tomura was absolutely true to his word, filling up his throat until Dabi had cum two more times and was a boneless puddle full of his cum. And then he'd carried him out of bed and had pampered him. A warm sweet-smelling bath with some bath melts that helped his skin feel soft, stop aching around his seams, and smelled so nice, and then got him dressed up in cozy pajamas, ordered him all of his favorite foods, and had spent the whole rest of the night holding him close and petting him as he murmured praises over and over again until Dabi was floating so high he hadn't even noticed he was hard from the sweet words again. Not until Daddy took him back to bed and swallowed up his clit so that he wouldn't make himself a big mess again before it was time to go to sleep. 

He slept the whole night through for the first time in months, and wakes the next morning to a sticky note on their nightstand saying that he can stay in bed all day if he wants. Dabi immediately turns it to ash goes to throw on his clothes a quickly as possible, only ten minutes to spare before the lieutenants' meeting he's supposed to be at. Be starting with a report about how he and Geten's new training regiment for their soldiers is going that he absolutely does not trust the popsicle to not undersell beause he thinks that any training that's not complete isolation and to the point of collapse isn't good enough. He manages to get into the room before everyone has even settled into their seats and feels a sharp moment of triumph. It's met with a slight flicker of embarrassment as he sees Tomura standing off to the side with Twice and Spinner, four fingers on each of their shoulders and a placid smile that reminds Dabi so sharply of AFO that a shudder runs down his spine. He can't tell what he's saying from across the room, but the other two look like they're about to shit themselves with their terror, so he has a very, very good guess. 

"Duster, knock it off!" He snaps. "They already apologized." 

"I know," He lets go of them very deliberately, pulling each finger away from their skin one-by-one. "Which is why this was a conversation at all." He informs them both very pointedly. 

"Got it." Spinner squeaks out. 

"Good. Take your seats." They scurry to do so and Shig takes his at the head of the table. "I believe we're starting with the troops?" 

Dabi does his fucking level best to give a good showing of everything ounce of progress that they've made on that front. It's enough that even Geten has to admit to the group that things are progressing better than his first month on the mountain training alone had yielded. And by the end of the meeting, he feels a little more of the knot in his gut lesson as their work is acknowledged by the entire assembly without an ounce of input from his lover. 

Thanks for asking!

#tanco speaks #ask #asks #shigadabi #my writing #mha fanfiction #fanfiction

[f1ghtsoftly]

I actually think it’s strategically stupid to ask women to forgo male protection and male financing without any kind of organized feminism to catch them. Feminists passionate about separatism need to educate themselves on the barriers women face when exiting misogynistic communities and family structures.

And no, just because you made it out doesn’t mean others can. There are scores of women behind you who didn’t make it. Who went insane from abuse, who developed addictions to cope, who are financially trapped, who experienced worse misogyny in the labor market then in a het relationship. Stop villanizing women acting in their own self interest and start organizing to give women BETTER OPTIONS.

I shouldn’t have had to choose between cosigning conversion therapy or staying in a misogynistic industry, my best friend shouldn’t have had to choose between homelessness and a dad who raped her, my first lover shouldn’t have to choose between a life of financial precarity and the sex industry and I cannot overemphasize that we were all rich lucky white women from the states. What’s it like for women of color? Women from states with worse education systems? Disabled women? What kind of rock are you living under where women aren’t doing the best they can to be financially secure and as free as possible *especially* in a cost of living crisis. And again, please don’t come at me with the “those criticisms are only white women with no problems who just CHOOSE” the women I am talking about are from wealthy white suburban families with boats and big retirement accounts we *are* the women you’re talking about. Just look at what happened to Brittney Spears and Rose McGowan, even “luckier” women who had huge parts of their lives destroyed because they took a stand for their own freedom. Were they just not “tough enough”? Get it through your fucking heads, no woman has an easy time of it, no women just “chooses” to comply with patriarchy for fun. We have three options, be kept precarious and in constant fear of male violence in the labor market, to participate in the running of the very system that oppresses us by allying with men or quit and try to become male ourselves. No women makes a “wrong” choice because all of these options are fucking terrible.

Women en masse aren’t unfree because they get stupid facial fillers or have boyfriends, women getting stupid facial fillers and having boyfriends is a symptom of how unfree women are and many women correctly see how allying with the right men can deliver them from poverty or financial insecurity.

Even middle class women with access to jobs that can pay the bills typically need to cosign a level of institutional patriarchy in order to do so, they become “administrators” to capitalism and are rewarded at the expense of their integrity. Think about all the teachers in the south who are forced to go along with anti-LGBTQ mandates, think about therapists who have to “diagnose” traumatized women with diseases that will stay in the medical records in order to get their insurance to cover therapy, think about the kind of misogynistic abuse women in tech or science take. GET.A. GRIP. IT SUCKS FOR EVERYONE.

And honestly, and I truly mean this, if you genuinely believe you are somehow better or stronger then most women who don’t “get it” I really question your commitment to women and to the project of feminism. It *is* delusional behavior to think that you aren’t one sexual assault, one lost job, one string of unlucky experiences away from trying to stockholm syndrome yourself into accepting male domination in a “relationship” or in the workplace. Without having to decide between sexual assault in a shelter or crashing with a “bf” who rapes you.

Without developing structures that can support women’s autonomy *we’re all* vulnerable to male predation and acting like it’s easy or even possible for women to shake that off not only shows an astounding lack of compasison but a naive and childish belief that your spirit is somehow above breaking. It’s not.

Like seriously please take it from me there is a limit to how much material, spiritual and physical abuse someone can take and so so so many more women then you think are dealing with horrible scary shit from the men in their lives and you can’t always tell what’s happening from behind a screen (or even in person). Even women who really, really annoy me or who are abusive themselves are reacting to male abuse in their own lives so please stop making the barrier to feminism contingent on doing the very things patriarchy makes it hardest to do.

PLEASE focus instead on making it easier for women to live away from men, on removing the ties between women’s financial security and their relationship to the men in their lives, on making women safer in public, on supporting mothers financially and with women’s labor.

It’s not reformism, it’s not choice feminism it’s accepting the reality of where we’re at and choosing to build women only infrastructure that will carry us to a post patriarchal future. That’s what doing the work is. It’s acknowledging where we are realistically as a society and committing to getting us where we need to go.

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist #radical feminist theory #radical feminists do touch #radfem safe #radfems #gender critical #radfem #char on char #like i went in the closst after getting hatecrimed and my friends getting correctively raped #even my rich friends have had horrible things happen to them because of their sexuality #IN NEW YORK #IN AMERICA #WE ALL HAVE COLLEGE DEGREES #Most of us more then that

[atthebell-moved]

I think what's most frustrating about misogyny in this fandom (and any fandom, but this one has particular issues I'll get into) is that people who've never read a single word of feminist theory can recognize when they're pulling sexist bullshit. Like, my dad has never in his life consumed anything beyond milquetoast feminist takes on NBC family dramas, but he's capable of taking a step back and going "hey, that sucked and i know why."

But here, no matter how much i want to give people the benefit of the doubt for being young and not having the same opportunities as me to engage with feminism, people just go beyond the level of patience and grace I'm willing to extend to them. Yes, it is obvious that you don't care about women. No, I don't care that you rb pretty pictures of them, because at the end of the day you'll turn on them in an instant for any perceived wrong that for your favorite male streamer you would do endless apologia.

Every single woman on the DSMP is treated as an extension of male characters. Every streamer is treated like she doesn't matter unless she's streaming with some guy you actually care about. I've gone through their fanart tags, extensively, and I PROMISE you that the ratio of fanart of them on their own compared to art of them with your favorite white boy is fucking sad. Not to mention how many of these women get doxxed to hell and drug through the mud any time they flirt with a man or do lore that you don't approve of because it slights Tommy or Wilbur in any way.

Do you know the shit that gets slung at female streamers? There's an attitude in certain corners of this fandom that male streamers are over sexualized. Let me tell you about what female ccs go through. There is deepfake porn of every single one of them. There are constant messages about their bodies, about how they don't deserve their fame if they don't wear revealing clothing, and about how they need to cover up more. There are stalkers and rape threats and constant judgment of their actions as inherently sexual and deserving of not just criticism but genuine hatred. Please go watch an unban requests stream and you will see the BAREST minimum of what I'm talking about. The things I have heard people call Niki and Puffy are fucking disgusting, and I can't even imagine what their mods have to see.

If you think Twitchcon SD shoving the only panel for female streamers into a tiny room is bad, I want you to look twice at this community and how it treats women and then tell me you think that's surprising. There were people in line for that panel and for Niki and Hannah's meet n greets who were only there bc they're on the DSMP and stream with the guys you people actually care about. I know because I literally talked to them. They don't know a thing about these CC's content.

Don't pretend like this community is better than how all of twitch treats women. Don't pretend like you care about feminism and then throw completely disproportionate levels of criticism and hate at any woman who fucks up. Don't pretend you care about women within their own narratives and then sideline them at every opportunity in favor of the guys you actually care about. Suck it up and say the quiet part out loud (you don't care about women) and start actually trying to care.

#discourse #fandom critical #feminism tag #its all feminism for aesthetics sake #you all know you ought to be progressive and that feminism comes with that #but you dont actually understand how to stop relying on the patriarchy and examine your own behavior for flaws #also all of this goes doubly for how you all treat women of color #misogyny doesnt just stop when youre trans/gq #its also just so funny to me bc so much of the hate dsmp fans get is bc of misogyny #rape mention #i could make a far longer post with more specific citations but im too irritated right now #i drafted this literally over a month ago #misogyny in fandom

[pinkacademic]

Themes, Context and Problems of Studying Literature

We’re dealing with old books written by old people who had old views, so pretty frequently, we’re going to come across attitudes and language that… well, I hope none of you agree with it… but that’s not a bad thing. We should challenge our worldview, we should learn how to debate it eloquently, learn the context of why people thought the way they did, and learn how to discern between good intentions with bad choices of language, and bad intentions even with good choices of language.

I’m going to be coming back to Dracula a lot as my go-to example text because we all have ease-of-access to it through Dracula Daily, even if we aren’t participating, and I think its fair to focus on one we could all be reading for free.

Common Themes

Themes that come up a lot in any analysis of literature are always the major political issues of the world at the time the text was written, and that still widely apply eg racism and xenophobia, feminism/sex and gender, religion, environmentalism, class… Then, on top of that, there will be motifs that are specific to the book in question. For example, Wuthering Heights, as the name suggests, has a constant refrain that takes it back to pathetic fallacy- which means weather-based metaphor. And actually, the storms which can often in literature be forboding, to Cathy and Heathcliff represent thw call of the wild drawing them home to the moors.

It begs the question that many of you have probably encountered in that cringe Facebook meme about the curtains being blue.

Sometimes the character likes blue and has blue curtains and that’s it- and it is worth knowing that that can be true- but sometimes the curtains are blue because everything is blue and has been since the character’s mother designed the house, and blue is the oppressive colour of an old attitude but the main character wants to live in a modern world of yellow. Maybe, as soon as the mother dies, the main character is going to redesign the house that felt like a trap for so many years and the curtains will be yellow.

More on symbolism, metaphors, and other methods next week!

Interpretation

So, what are you supposed to do with this information? Well, pick an angle and defend it with your entire being. Here comes the Dracula because firstly, do you feel like Jonathan is a sexist because he expects Mina to be in the kitchen cooking paprika hendl for him? Or is he a true romantic who is thinking of her always on his trip to Transylvania?

This is the importance of opinion. Answering essay questions has, in my experience, always meant picking a side and gunning for it to the death. You have the evidence for your case. Look at this asshole Van Helsing being so condesceding to Mina, he’s so sexist! Alternatively, look at this feminist icon Van Helsing treating Mina as the only one with the brain cell.

It’s up to you, and that to me is the value of studying literature because it forces you to think for yourself. And the thing is, you can’t be wrong if you back it up.

Context

I think it’s important to understand where the author was in their lifewhen they wrote their book when we’re analysing its contents. I think the content should be the dominant force in your interpretations, but understanding some of the context matters.

Taking our faithful companion Dracula, it is important to know that this story where the beautiful Lucy is viciously attacked by a creature of the night was written in 1897, and that the murders of prostitutes committed by Jack the Ripper were less than a decade prior. It is also worth noting that the predominantly English cast of characters were written from the point-of-view of Irishman Bram Stoker who supported Home Rule for Ireland.

It can be useful to familiarise yourself with the language of the time, particularly when referring to issues such as sexuality, class, and race, when looking at broad questions such as, for example “is Dracula racist?” Not really, it mostly just uses period-typical language, but Jonathan himself can be pretty xenophobic because he represents the typical Englishman of the day.

That is also one hypothetical interpretation- it’s not even necessarily what I think- so, always keep these things in mind too.

My point is, understanding the time period can help you understand the work in question.

Why it is Important?

Ok, girls, I’m about to start PREACHING! As I mentioned, I think the value of a literature degree is how much it forces you to engage with challenging material, understand the nuances of creativity, and messages versus enjoying art for art’s sake. I think the reason creative subjects and humanities are underfunded because (tinfoil hat voice) THEY WANT US STUPID!! But in all seriousness, take every opportunity to expand your media literacy, your worldview, and your understanding of what counts as art, a classic, literature, and something worth thinking about.

Ok, girlies, I’m leaving it here for this week. This is my absolute PASSION, so I could talk about it FOREVER, but I’ll stop now to focus energy on the actual study section for next week!

#pink academia #pink #academia #pink academic #pink academia masterpost project #studying literature #studyblr #study tips #dracula #dracula daily

[rainyvandragon]

I know must of my stuff is just funny reposts or my own writing...but honestly I just need to get this off my chest.

Trigger warning: casual sexism and emotional abuse

I have been diagnosed with depression and borderline - my mother knows this. My mother is a nurse. My mother knows the symptoms of both my mental health issues.

Today her and I got into a little "disagreement". Essentially one of my drawers broke, my partner fixed it and it fell apart again. He told me he knows the issue and is going to take care of it. My mother took a closer look at it and started bitching about his handiwork.

I told her to stop it and just leave it be, telling her that I was also done being in the constant crossfire. If my boyfriend does or doesn't do something the "right" (her) way she will complain to me. I informed her countless times that she should talk directly to him about those things instead of forcing it onto me first, most of the time even expecting me to play the messager pigeon. I also made it clear to her, that I wanted her to leave the drawer alone until my partner returns from work.

During all of that I was calm, trying to simply show her my boundaries.

She did leave it alone but she continued yelled and complaining even talking about how she was just fixing it and since she bought it (OVER 10 YEARS AGO) she could do whatever. I don't even live with her anymore. Next to her, in a house that she owns - yes. But not in the same house, under the same roof.

I had already a shitty day and was feeling horrible physically. Still don't know why but I almost fainted multiple timea today, not even an hour before my mother started bothering me with this. So I started crying.

I just felt done and scared so I started crying. My mother's reaction? She told me to "stop crying since she is leaving the drawer alone now".

But honestly what hurt the most was her claiming that "people like me are the reason for the term hysterical woman". My mother, who during my mid teen years pick me phase lectured me about the importance of feminism, called me "hysterical" and part of the problem. Because I, someone diagnosed with bpd and depression, started crying after my boundaries were once again disrespected.

And I know that if I or anybody else was to voice criticism she would see nothing wrong with how she acted. She would claim that she simply wanted to help and that I was being childish.

You know what's the worst about it though? She is my good parent.

#personal #personal rant #vent post #tw vent #emotional abuse #parental abuse #tw parental abuse #tw emotional abuse #sexism #everyday sexism #misogyny #mental health #mental health awareness #shitty parents

[theladyofbloodshed]

SJM is a feminist qwueen.

Elain is Elain felt wrong at so many levels. Couldn’t understand why. But here’s my reason for hating it.

Elain is Elain means that Elain is not much. Not worth considering a threat or an opportunity. Not a villian, not a hero, not useful, just not much. Why would that be? What’s different? Nesta and Elain are both made by the cauldron. She’s eager to help (in ACOWAR).

She’s not doing what males do in SJM fantasy world. Not swinging a sword (like Aelin and Mor). Not rude and dismissive of authorites (like Feyre in the high lords meetings). She’s being normal and wearing dresses. And that’s completely fine.

But apparently not by SJM, the feminist queen and her fans. Because guess what, that’s not feminism. That’s internalized misogyny. You only like feminist heroines when they do something that males do. How dare she stay in the house and bake? Be queit and proper like a lady. Wear dresses!??? Go put on some fighting leathers and swing a sword. Only then will we value you. We are feminists. Can’t have a girl acting all girly and expect people to think she has some good qualities. Qualities worth appreciation. Nope, we will value you when you fight, put on some muscles and ditch those dresses. And get out of the kitchen!

Until then, Elain is just Elain.

Never tell me that young girls reading this are not getting a bad impression. I saw a 14 year old pick up this book today. SJM and her internalized misogyny, that the fans label as feminism ✨ is going to shape some young minds into believing a lot of fucked up things being right. Forgiving your abuser and sexual assualter (Aelin-Rowan, Feyre- Rhys), mistreating people with trauma (Nesta being locked up) and of course, the smaller problem discussed above. I am not old enough to have children yet, but I regret the fact that I read this crap and I beg all you fans out there to never have your children read this crap. It is honestly surprising that these books have not been deemed inappropriate yet. I have read a lot of dark romance and this is not it. The theme is clear in dark romance. Characters in those books are held accountable for their actions. The constant cycle of making the fans beleive that Rhys, Rowan, Cassian etc. are not wrong and you should want a partner like that..now that is harmful.

P.s. English is my third language. Idk if I made any mistakes, but do let me know if I did so I can take care of it next time.

It was such crap. If Rhys was actually held accountable for his words then yeah, okay, he can say that. But if Feyre ever questions him, it happens once then it's waved away by Rhys. Within a few minutes of meeting the sisters, he dismisses Elain as unimportant and Nesta is Illyrian at heart and he can never forgive her - for something that never ever involved him.

For me, it wasn't really about the fact that Elain is typically more feminine. Beyond the colour of their dresses where Elain favours pink, I'd say Nesta is also very typically feminine (for the time period). She doesn't like pants, her hobby is reading, she was saving herself for marriage. To me, what Rhys said aligned with Feyre's view of Elain from the first book where she said that it wasn't that Elain was being mean and not helping, she just didn't grasp that she might actually get off her ass and help. And Rhys is fine with that. Elain can be oblivious but that's okay and he won't ever push her <3 It's so hard not to compare how Elain and Nesta are treated. Both lived in the cabin. Nesta said mean things, Elain didn't. Nesta helped, Elain didn't.

At the end of it all, these men should stay far away from these women. The men all need therapy and should be taught how to be a better partner <3

p.s. your English is brilliant

#anon asks

[limeade-l3sbian]

What’s your opinion on some black people on twitter distancing themselves from certain online activism in regards to palestine due to how horribly anti black muslims can be and are oftentimes, how it is alleged that even bisan(i say alleged bc i only saw ppl say there was proof, not post the proof itself) has been dismissive of the black experience/ anti black?

at a certain angle i can honestly get it. we do not see the same passion or care for what is happening in sudan and congo so to see people shame black people, especially during black history month, about focusing on that instead or critiquing other ppls lack of attention towards those issues. it is not coincidental that the genocides and tragedies happening to black people somewhere else is what’s being neglected compared to the much paler counterparts.

my biggest issue with the whole situation of distancing is honestly other black ppl shaming those individuals. i’m tired of seeing black ppl, especially black women, constantly fight others battles and accept their own neglect. so many bw will go to war to fight for others who wouldn’t even piss on them if they were on fire.

i’m not saying anyone should distance themselves from caring about literal genocides. i’m just saying i get understand the feeling of neglect and constant sacrifice expected of oneself despite never getting even a smidgen back.

I can understand it.

For me, it's like this: There are some genuinely repulsive, racist women who fall into my net of feminism (all women). If I were to ever step in their neighborhood, they would call the cops. If I ever got into an argument with them, they might call me the n-word. If I were to ever get hurt, they would say I deserved it.

If a crime happened involving a black criminal, she would post repulsive shit that has genuinely sent me in a spiral. I will just stare at the ceiling and wonder how so much hate for darker skin can exist even after so much progress. She will uphold beliefs that have left me wondering what it feels like to live without being aware of my skin.

This woman is the worst person I have ever known. I want to punch her in the face and given the chance, I probably would.

But I don't think she should be raped. I don't think she should be abused by her husband. I don't think she should be used as a prop in war. I would not celebrate if she was violated in any way that could scar her for life.

And that isn't because I'm some sort of "above it all, so sanctified, look at me I'm so righteous" asshole. Because, as I said, I want to punch this woman and if she tripped in front of me, she can get the fuck up herself lmao.

BUT, my humanity is not conditional.

Especially on the subject of women. The ignorance of one group does not negate my own sense of morality and feelings of what is right and what is wrong. I hold a certain anxiety in my chest for all the women caught in this war, because regardless of "sides", women remain the ransom and the spoils of every conflict.

I certain do feel anger when I think about how a lot of black women's activism and support FREQUENTLY goes unreturned. It pisses me off, to be honest. So I can understand and I would not judge the black women who pull back. Because how many times can I take the punches for you (people) before I get tired of no one tagging in?

But for me, personally, and I don't say this on some pedestal above the women I just mentioned in any way whatsoever, I guess I just think even the most ignorant women need support. And not that activism is transactional, but there have been demonstrations by muslims for BLM.

I guess my closing statement is that my fight is with the system, not the people who had no say in growing up in it.

*I'm not calling Palestinian women ignorant. I'm speaking on the hypothetical I said earlier as well as the select ignorant muslims that anon mentioned. So don't start.

#ask

[deanwinchesterpregnant]

happy friday! I am asking u to please think about john and marys relationship and how john carries on with behaviours and things he did with mary with his kids anywhere on the scale of slightly inappropriate to extremely inappropriate please and thank you. have a good day 💕

OH I’M THINKIN, ANON!! Well there’s the obvious of Dean slotting right into the mother role with Sam. I mean seriously the guy is one of the most parentified children of all time. I’ve talked abt this before but I think that’s why John is able to justify being with Dean sexually as he gets older. Sees him as an extension of Mary. And we already know that he idealizes his and Mary’s relationship, puts her memory on a pedestal. Constantly thinking about her, driven by this mad obsession… justifying to himself that he should get this one thing.

I do think he still sees Sam as his son, and there’s not that feminization there like there is with Dean, which is why I don’t really see samjohn happening. That constant “watch out for Sammy.” So I don’t really see him carrying on behaviors with Mary, with Sam, because they’re separate in his mind.

But back to Dean — I DO love the idea of John getting disappointed and upset when Dean doesn’t take to certain sex acts with the same alacrity Mary did. They’re different! And Dean is willing to go with anything Dad asks of him, but they’re just different.

And John doing that silent thing where he gets stoic, rubs his mouth, stalks off to lick his wounds in peace. And Dean wondering just what he did wrong.

John’s a constant enigma to both his sons. AUGH! Sorry, this kind of got away from your original ask but it was a fun thought exercise…I hope you have a good day too!! <33

#spike’s box #johndean #dadfucker friday

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

You missed the point of my question where I asked who’s attacking men at night, you spend all your time attacking feminism which has its faults and yet many of the problems affecting women and men are caused by other men, you attack women and feminism more than the structural and cultural issues specific to men, men cause the most rapes the most murders the most violent crimes etc it’s also men who suffer at their own hands. You could spend your time trying to advocate healing of emotional damage from centuries of war and abuse where men are treated like emotionless meat shields and women are treated like prostitute incubators and we all suffer but you spend it punching down on women who until unbelievably recently in only western society have had very little open power at all. You, at your heart still want to preserve these structures that hold everyone down because at least you’ll still have your hierarchy left in the old world where things at least still sense to you even if they’re terrible. You’ve been warped more into this ideology since your last blog because all you truely have is anti - anti women, feminism etc. This account isn’t good for you

*sigh*

My stalker's back. Again.

You missed the point of my question where I asked who’s attacking men at night,

No I didn't: I made fun of it.

you spend all your time attacking feminism,

Well, not ALL my time...

which has its faults

It certainly does. Which, because it is an enormously insidious and influential political ideology, with the whole of the western world under its spell, seems to me a vitally important thing to address. It's what the young 'uns call 'speaking truth to power'.

Whereas you seem to spend all your time sending anonymous hatemail to me, a solitary and powerless individual in this mixed-up crazy world, instead of staying on your meds and getting help. Because this is the only attention you get.

and yet many of the problems affecting women and men are caused by other men,

Other individual men. And other individual women, of course.

you attack women and feminism more than the structural and cultural issues specific to men,

In 2022, the most destructive structural and cultural issues specific to men are directly caused by feminism and feminist policies.

men cause the most rapes the most murders the most violent crimes etc

Individual men. My second point to your earlier "question" was that, if you lived in America, you could put the word "black" before the word "men" and you would still be statistically correct, but I would hope that you would see that to blame "black men" as a group for everything wrong in America would be a terribly hateful, bigoted and harmful thing to do. The fundamental issue here is that feminist indoctrination has left you incapable of seeing that you're doing something identical but even worse, on an even larger scale.

it’s also men who suffer at their own hands.

Again, it's the "their" that you've got wrong: ascribing collective guilt for individual actions because of the patriarchy theory mind virus which still has you in its grip.

You could spend your time trying to advocate healing of emotional damage

I do. Once we rid the western world of divisive feminist propaganda and policies, men and women will be free again to see each other as fellow human beings, brothers, sisters, fathers, daughters, mothers, sons, friends and lovers, rather than "victim" and "oppressor" classes. I'm up for that. Are you?

from centuries of war and abuse

War is, sadly, a human constant: it will always be with us, unfortunately, in one form or another. There's never been a culture or a century without one in its history. If it's not religion causing it, then it's politics. If it's not politics then it's greed. If it's not greed then it's hunger. Men may have been the ones sent to die in their millions but women benefited from their protection and sacrifice just as much as the men who stayed home, and in larger numbers.

men are treated like emotionless meat shields and women are treated like prostitute incubators

Please stop watching The Handmaid's Tale. It's not real and it's not good for your brain.

and we all suffer

Exactly: we ALL suffer. Every one of us will get sick, and lose loved ones, face hatred and abuse, and every one of us is going to have to die. Let us recognize our common humanity in the face of our common suffering, instead of allowing ourselves to be divided up into warring classes: one half of the world to be applauded for - and protected from - the smallest things, and the other half scapegoated for everything under the sun.

but you spend it punching down on women

(*citation needed)

who until unbelievably recently in only western society have had very little open power at all.

Neither had men. In fact, all of us have very little open power today: One vote for terrible people who don't represent you every four years, especially when diluted by tens of millions of other people in the same boat, is very, very little power or relevance at all.

I really like the "unbelievably" in that sentence, too. It says more than I think you intended about your mindset and worldview.

You, at your heart still want

Your knowledge of my innermost heart is lacking accredited sources.

to preserve these structures that hold everyone down

No, I want to end the influence of institutionalized feminist hatred of men. Which is something that demonstrably exists, unlike the purple seven-headed sock-stealing monster under your bed you call "The Patriarchy".

because at least you’ll still have your hierarchy left

I have no idea what hierarchy you think I belong to, other than your patterwacky sock-stealing monster. Which I don't believe in.

in the old world where things at least still sense to you even if they’re terrible.

If by "in the old world" you mean a time when reason and fact-based arguments still held sway over nonsensical and emotion-driven conspiracy theories being aggressively rushed into governmental policy, then yeah, I'll take a frank acceptance of actual empirical reality over the delusion and hysteria of your "new world" any day.

You’ve been warped more into this ideology

I belong to no ideology. Whereas you're a feminist.

since your last blog

Thanks for confirming how long you've been sending me these anonymous, passive-aggressive poison pen letters.

because all you truely have is anti - anti women, feminism etc.

"Feminism" does not equal "women": one is a political ideology, the other is every second human being on planet earth. You really need to learn the difference.

And as I've already said, it is only once people are liberated from the utterly cancerous effects of 50-100 years of feminist indoctrination that any healing between the sexes can begin and something better can be built.

This account isn’t good for you

It's still better than being on Twitter.

#care in the community

[ladyhindsight]

Love ur blog and I have something important to speak with u about.

Alec, Clary and Simon all specifically joined the Clave as high ranking members to change the system from the inside" often times when you discuss this with others on here I see this bit of information not spoken about but it is a constant talking point to excuse the negative behaviors and systematic oppression that the shadow hunters use to maintain power and control.

Clary refers to Shadow Hunter society as a police state in City of Heavenly Fire and then goes onto become a part of that police state.

What bothers me so much about this rhetoric is first of all look at our own world so many people have said you can't change systems of oppression by JOINING the system of oppression I mean look at what's happening with shadow hunter society they basically had another fucking war because of shadow hunter right wingers gaining control YET AGAIN.

It is so upsetting to read these books as a minority because it is so easy to see Cassandra Claire's White Liberal Mentality at play here. It's very reminiscent of JK Rowlings white liberal fantasy being that we don't need to change systems of oppression we just need to get out and vote actually!

Clary submits entirely to Jace and becomes a good little shadow hunter wife who never disagrees or removes herself from Jace's wants and needs. She is suppose to represent feminism and women in shadow hunter society but has only one friend outside of her husband's control (Simon) and Jace spends every waking minute undermining anything Simon says. Example: in Lord of Shadows Clary speaks about hoe bad her ptsd has gotten and was encouraged by Simon to go to a therapist, Jace tells her she's not allowed and he will be angry with her if she does go. So Clary dutifully listens to the man who controls her and does not go. She's been crushed under shadow hunter societies patriarchy.

Simon was a vampire and Jewish man who opposed many of shadow hunter societies ideas around mental health and racist values. He is indoctrinated by clary and the lightwoods under the guise of "being one of the good ones" a manipulation tactic often used on POC. Simon rejects any connection to vampire culture and instead remains as an outside viewer of shadow hunters because he wants to remain their uncle Tom. At the end he "transcends" his old culture and identity and becomes a white Christian man- I mean a shadow hunter and thus is accepted into society because he has completely conformed to their ideology and mind set. Simon is then delegated to the role of comedic relief where he is never taken seriously, must always sacrifice himself for the true blood shadow hunters who retain their status as his superiors and even his own girlfriend is viewed as his superior because she is a "pure blooded" shadow hunter. He's a good little minority who is allowed into the "right" culture because of his continual hatred of his own culture and identity.

Alec is a gay man who hated himself until he finally stood up and spat in the face of shadow hunter oppression. He basically said he won't be comodofied by shadow hunters and will choose to live as himself. Alec then goes onto become one of the heads of the police state and has done next to nothing to further gay rights and freedom of marriage for shadow hunters and down worlders. In fact he and many others allowed the cold peace to take place and then remarks that he is a good guy because hey his husband is a man of color I mean downworlder and there for he can't be racist I mean hateful to downworlders. In one of the short stories, book of the white, Alec goes on a huge diatribe towards Tian, a man working with a powerful demon because he wants the freedom to love a fey. Alec and Magnus take turns telling Tian how despicable he is for daring to do something wrong so he can love the person he wants to love. Meanwhile, Alec tried to turn Magnus into a respectable lover in the eyes of shadow hunter culture by essentially making Magnus mortal because in the eyes of shadow hunter culture a human mortal is better to love than a disgusting half demon. I mean Magnus literally recalls a time in the world where his kind were hunted by shadow hunters for fun and enslaved for fun... sounds an awful lot like chattel slavery which is something many real life black people speak about in regards to dating white people or having really any relationship with white people. And yet here we are with Magnus telling a man he's not allowed to break the law to be with his lover. Meanwhile Magnus use to be the closest thing to a chaotic neutral character we had and now he's completely conformed to the cultural morality of his lovers culture. Magnus isn't even accepted by shadow hunter society and will never be as "lucky" as Simon. Alec has basically become a gay for republican telling other shadow hunter downworlder couples that they're being oppressed because they're "bad gays" who need to learn to conform better if they want to be taken seriously.

I think about these morals being pumped into children's minds and you can tell me I'm taking this too seriously. But these are the same kinds of morals employed in JK Rowlings writing and we can all see now that those books promoted racist stereotypes and misogynistic values to young children who some of have gone onto adulthood to defend JKR as a good woman because they bought into her subliminal messaging.

Cassandra Clare has said herself that she wrote the original series at a time when she was not the most politically correct. I think the fact that she continues to try and defend some of these choices are laughable. Clary should have friends and a job outside of Jace, clary should utilize mundane medicine and promote these medicines to shadow hunters. The fact that the only form of therapy shadow hunters have are silent brothers (all of which are cisgender men who cannot begin to understand the pain of being an incest rape survivor.) Is fucking ridiculous and disgusting. The fact that Cassandra Clare refers to a racist, homophobic and misogynistic society as being "chosen" by God is DISGUSTING. Simon should have connections to Judaism and Cassandra clare should understand this AS A JEWISH PERSON HERSELF LOL. Alex should spend every waking fucking second defending and fighting for down worlders BECAUSE GUESS WHAT HE WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT MAGNUS. It's ridiculous to watch these characters become the very things they're suppose to hate and Cassandra Clare rewards them for this. It's so despicable and nobody ever discusses this and CC fans always try to sweep it under the rug but I won't fucking allow it anymore. Clary isn't a feminist until she actually does some real world feminism and puts herself before Jace end off there is no excuse. Simon isn't an advocate for mundanes and down worlders until he's taken seriously by other characters and is allowed to actually connect with his mundane heritage, and Alec isn't a gay icon until he starts raising up other gay people who aren't totally in agreement with shadow hunter morals.

My apologies for how long this is but it's something that ways down on me that I needed to say.

Thanks for the love, and rants and grievances with TSC are what this blog is also for. ;)

Jocelyn, for example, gladly left the Clave and did not return as active Shadowhunter even after Valentine’s passing because she did not want that harsh and cruel life for Clary, a society with rigid rules and ideas of supremacy over other people. Simon expresses same thoughts, the Downworlders express the same thoughts. The criticism against the Clave and the Nephilim as a whole exists throughout the series, but nothing is made of it. It is merely stated—as if that is enough—and done nothing about for the longest time.

Like you said, Clary and co. join the Clave with high positions (just like that anyway, and because making more sense with the hierarchy is not really what Clare was really into as to world-building), as if that alone sort of excuses it all. Because the Good Guys are trying to change things and in the end do it so effortlessly. As to Clary, she was barely a person to begin with. She had no life outside Simon, Jocelyn, or Luke. She had no friends, no memories of normal life that included anyone else than them. There is a brief mention about an art group Clary is angry to miss because Jocelyn wants them to move away from Brooklyn, to live with Luke. But there is no friends for Clary there, no concrete memories of any kind of having anyone else involved with her life.

The rule about not seeking out mundane medicine is never justified other than with general secrecy. Jace has no arguments for why Simon isn’t allowed, it’s just because it isn’t allowed. Diana has to hide herself and her past because she would be severely punished, but the underlying reasoning is never addressed. I think a lot of the rules exist just because law is hard but it is the law (because it’s more convenient for the story than coming up with reasons), and even though characters question laws and rules and norms that somewhat affect them, there are some they don’t challenge at all.

There is no consistency with the ideologies and values the characters have and hold. Like so many things and aspects in their interpersonal relationships that are left unaddressed and processed, the political aspect to the series is no different. For instance, sometimes the writing acknowledges Jace’s abhorrent behavior, but Clare seems to think it’s enough to say it but not make any corrective measures as to the character development even then. Similarly the Cohort rises while Robert as the Inquisitor (who knows the destruction of their ideology) and Jia as the Consul in addition to all the nameless faceless Nephilim who leave Alicante for Alec’s Clave are unable to push back in any way and fight them before it’s too late to stop others from suffering.

I think it really comes down to the same themes of everything in the series adjusting to the needs of Clare’s favorites, and in the grander scale of things, her favorite people that are the Shadowhunters. I’m sure there’s plenty people find to counter-argue this, find stuff in writing that says different—that Alec does fight for the Downworlders, that Simon still has his own connection to Judaism, that Clary does not conform to what the Clave was in Jocelyn’s time. But I also think that arguing over that is the same as arguing that Will and Jace are not the same character when all of it amounts to no change and the underlying narrative still serves Clare’s favorites.

Like great, the writing addresses some stuff in couple sentences somewhere for the sake of having it addressed, but the way it does nothing for the overarching narrative is the problem (just so it could be argued that all of it has been acknowledged, but it still holds no real substance). A lot seems to be discarded after that so we can return to the programmed schedule that is not about Simon's trauma or coping with it, his relationship with Judaism and having to abandon it because ThEy OnLy WoRsHiP rAzIeL, Clary fusing into the Clave she supposedly despised, and Alec doing everything and fuck all being Consul. I just don't think Clare is that capable an author or that she even realizes any of it.

#Series discussion #Reply

[onwriting-hrarby]

privated works in ao3

dear all,

long time no see! i've been busy at work, at home, writing a lot for myself, and reading even more. but here i am to address what's been happening at @transformativeworks about AI possibly given permission to scrape our fics to learn/train the intelligence.

since they made the newsletter public (two days ago) i am privating all my fics except for liquid confidence. this was not a decision that i just took on the spur of the moment—it had been brewing a lot of time, considering the fear of plagiarism i have, the harassment i had been getting from anonymous commenters, etc. however, i never did until now because i wanted everyone to enjoy it—i, myself, was not an account on ao3 before i started uploading my fic.

however, on light of recent events, i do think there's no way i can leave my works unprivate: the disgusting timing of OTW to inform about this decision (in the middle of the WGA strike, after their donation), the blatant inability of the board to give a profound apologetic statement after the ratio, and the insecurity i have about my fanfics not being "sold" for anything else than the enjoyment of readers have pulled me to this.

back when wattpad announced that they were collaborating with paramount to look for "fictions" to "gather inspiration to bring up new ideas at studios" (i wanted to attach a link to the news, but worringly... the net is clear? yet i did not dream of it) i deleted all my works from wattpad. why? because i didn't want my fictions to be read by some rich higher-ups producers, to be given the idea to some other people to write.

as you know, i want to be a published author. fanfiction allows me to experiment with plots, characters and form before allowing myself to create something more narrative, a fully-fledged work in my native (minorized) language, which is very difficult to publish.

so, most of all, i write for myself. not for readers, not for anyone else: i write and publish fanfiction because i am experimenting. i have been writing 16 years of my life, as a constant thing. i am young. i don't know if i have talent but i do have persistence and crafting. this effort is impossible to replicate in a machine. this passion is impossible for an AI to feel. all of this is what makes me human, and a human writer—the contradiction in between pursuing and achieving, the deception, the sadness, the joy, the excitement: my comments, your comments.

and even though i am human by default—not by permission—what i craft is not.

i do not give my permission to train a machine that is not being regulated in any ways because i fear for a future where jobs, passion, art and what i know and love disappear: we live in such horrible capitalism that i do not see any way in which robots can help people at their jobs without entering this productivity system we're all sucked in. redistribution of richness when ai takes over won't happen—the system is too greedy for that. so, while i acknowledge the good things it has and the potential to change humanity's life for the better, i have seen too many examples of algorithms going wrong, spying on people, taking people as mere products, raging about politicians—effectively changing democracy. far too many right-wing presidents have won presidencies because of the inability (or unwillingness) of tech ceo's to stop getting millions. the largest shop that destroys your neighbour's little corner business is own by one of those ceo's. the platform you used to get informed about feminism is now owned by one of those ceo's, who's putting a female in his stance to clear up the shit he's made.

it is not a fair world we live in, so the applications of AI—as of now—can't be fair. so, because AI becomes dangerously misused, i will not be partaking in any form of sharing, contributing, or exalting AI. the possibilities of AI are endless—but the greed is not. going against AI as of now, for me, is standing for the world i have always advocated: one that doesn't turn their back on little crafters, one that acknowledges intelligence, brilliance and difference of opinions in the people who contribute, the freedom of writing what we want—and the freedom to read it.

if @transformativeworks doesn't make clear that our works won't be scraped by AI, i will also be eliminating my account permanently.

i am sorry for any inconvenience. my works will be available to those with accounts.

(also: if you're a reader that supports AI because you want your fanfictions to be delivered to you at the speed of light, just like you want it, good luck to you. i hope all your favourite works get taken down and you drown in the little, pea-sized, influenced brain you have.)

—hera

#hrarby craft #ai scraping #aot fanfiction #eremika #fanfiction #archive of our own

[thegirlmirage]

I look up to all trans women. But finding queer heroes can be tricky to navigate because fame is inherently poisonous, and a lot of the way discourse is shaped online it's very easy to condemn people.

I myself suffered from a broad attack from a community I was in that started with me speaking out about being misgendered and mistreated, and it got turned into "well don't believe Rose because she's a bad trans person we have trans friends to prove it."

And I've ran into this issue with trying to identify with other known trans content creators. There will come places (especially with whiteness and wealth) where criticism of those privileges becomes ignored. It would be easy to say that they're resistant to criticism because of always being criticised but I think that it just comes down to not knowing and not feeling like they need to know better, which is how those privileges behave anyway.

To me, my oppression has always linked me to other oppressed people. The poor and the embattled and the weird and ostracized will always be my family more than someone with it all figured out. There is a social cost to thinking like this.

So I end up feeling quite disconnected to some trans people. Perhaps it's foolish for me to expect just because someone has overcome the brutal imperialsm that keeps us from feeling safe to be ourselves, that they would be able to see the other oppressive junctors in the world and act accordingly.

Bringing it back to condemnation, any personality online will at some point have to deal with a snap group judgement, and for marginalised people this is often constant, scaling with intersectional marginalizations. People who have survived this world may struggle to fit with a society that demands adherence to stricter social rules, especially because we are here because we survived. We are often quite badly harmed by what we've been through, and we will struggle often to fit a narrow view of what's considered expected behavior. We are human. We won't have perfect responses, we can be wrong. It's therefore easy for us to suffer more when the judgement arrives.

If I'm looking for someone trans to admire, it's not uncommon for me to hear why it's not a good choice. And there are legitimate reasons to question them, because of course, fame is evil, it's more a miracle that people come out of it balanced at all, but also there is tighter judgement on those people for their marginalization such as being trans.

So it leaves me with this feeling almost, like I can't trust my own kind. If I'm following blogs are they inclusive of other ethnicities? Do they believe in fat liberation? Would they look on an unfortunate person with compassion or indifference?

So I have to temper my feelings of admiration. I have to remind myself that realistically, placing anyone on a pedestal is dangerous. I have to deal with my disappointment that trans women are just human too, they're not just angels. They shouldn't need to be exceptional to be worthy of my praise.

But it's more complicated than that. Certainly putting even more pressure on trans women to behave better is just more of the same. I think about how rife eating disorders are among us and how even with my most femine looks I do not feel I am girl enough societally to do things like buy groceries.

And we do need uplifting too. I had been in such a gender euphoria haze that once things settled I was horrified by just the extent of my mental health when times weren't in boom. So we do need someone to see our qualities and praise them, and to love and adore them not in spite of what we are but because of who we are. But I think that person is me.

I wish of course that every trans person would rush to embrace me and we would see eye to eye and celebrate our joint survival but... not everyone wants to do that. For all the thousands of images of celebrating skinny trans women with 3 wives doing DJ sets there's so many more people who are just desperately trying to fit their gender into the world they already have. People who might not seem exceptional or have big projects to their names.

I think about how I was regarded when I didn't have HRT. I passed zero percent. I thought I was ugly and I couldn't see how I could possibly change anything about that. And I think there's a tendancy for queer spaces to sometimes even outright reject people like that, especially if they subscribe to any ideas about being anti what they perceive to be men.

It's those girls who need the princess treatment. It's they who we should be elevating and celebrating and caring for.

#transgender #trans discourse #trans heroes #trans judgement