#fic: all i want el

[effielumiere]

All I Want - Kim Namjoon x Reader

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader, OC x Reader

Genre: Romance? Idol AU, Drama, Angst?, Best Friends to (???)

Warning(s): Cursing/Language. Angsty angst? Get your tissues... i think... or not. Two shoes being thrown at Joonie .UNEDITED!

Word count: 12k (I'm so sorry, I got too carried awaaayyy~)

Summary: Kim Namjoon has been in love with his high school best friend ever since he first laid eyes on her. Nearly fifteen years later, he's known all around the globe as BTS's leader RM, but none of that matters to him personally, because all he ever wanted aside to live his dreams was to be with Y/n. However, it seems it's too late. She's about to get married in the following day and he's too afraid to watch her be forever in the arms of someone else that isn't him and for the first time since he's debuted, he wants to try and confess again, even though he knows that this time it's going to be different. He knows you're not going to stay. No amount of pleading and begging will make him yours. So, this time he's going to do that right thing and confess, not to make Y/n changer her mind, but to say goodbye. It's right thing to do anyway... Nothing could possibly go wrong .... right?

Author's Note: I *legit* forgot that this song existed until i read This Chapter of House of the Omegaverse by @sopejinsunflower and remembered it. Without giving much away, the scene goes with Namjoon and the reader looking at each other while the reader was singing it, and I remember how I felt like someone abruptly pulled my heartstrings leaving in a tiny angst mood. And that was moooonths ago btw lol. That story was an inspiration for this and this baby has been sitting on my drafts since House of the Omegaverse ended (please go check out @sopejinsunflower 's work 🥺) I'm a bit behind schedule but I'm pretty sure it's still September 30 in California ... Hopefully lmao. This was originally for Namjoon's birthday, but I got busy so here I am lol. Please leave your feed back in the comments or send me an ask teehee don't be shy😄 And btw, this is completely unedited most parts were written while I was half asleep and tired on the shuttle headed home lol. ENJOOOOYYY!

Armand (OC [Korean Englishmen/JOLLY]) is none other than this young man right here.

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Namjoon closed his eyes as the cool wind blew past his face, relished the last night he was going to spend with his long time best friend who was getting married when the morning comes. 6 hours. That's all he needed and that was all the time he got. The sun was already starting to set when he opened his eyes to gaze at the sight before him.

Her. She was wearing a pastel blue dress with small white polkadots, light make-up on her face that accentuated her eyes and enhanced her best features. Her eyes he thought Her eyes are the most beautiful set of eyes he's ever seen. She was looking around the floor watching happily as waiters walked past our table with food on the trays they were balancing elegantly with one hand.

"Oh, Joon," she smiles as she brings the wine glass to her lips to take a sip "I'm so excited for tomorrow, everything went as planned and tomorrow, I'm finally going to be a married woman and have my dream wedding"

"I'm happy for you," he gave her a smile "Truly?" she asks. Namjoon cocks his head to the side, a habit he's that shows his disappointment and sometimes, his disapproval of a certain situation.

"What is it?" she asks, her smile slowly fading, concerned for her best friend "Is everything alright?" Instead of answering, he picks up his glass of whiskey and downs it in one go, slightly wincing at the burn as he contemplates on whether or not he should spill his emotions and tell her how he truly feels, or hold back, let her be happy and never see her again as long as he lives.

"Namjoon" she calls him, making him slowly look up at her "I'm excited about tomorrow, but I'm also nervous"

"Don't be," he tells her in a low voice as he controls himself from talking more than he should.

"Joonie, remember when we went to the beach?" Y/n asks "You know, the place where we met up because I needed your help with my math homework" he simply nods at her not trusting his voice. He's drank enough whiskey for tonight to last a lifetime, he thinks. He motions for the bill at their waiter who was patient waiting for them to leave as they were the last customer of the restaurant for the night.

Namjoon planned everything for this particular evening, he planned of making sure that she had a relaxed night where she wasn't going to worry about anything, including the wedding but what he didn't plan was to entertain the nagging thought he had to tell her how he's really felt for the past 15 years of his life, but at the same time he was scared. Scared to lose her, he decided to shut his mouth and let her, watch her meet someone else, fall for someone else... love someone else.

The night of the engagement, Namjoon watched as videos and pictures of Y/n and her now soon to be husband to be all smiles and happiness on the timeline of his social media accounts, the comments filled with happy wishes and he felt... numb... and angry. No. Not angry. Furious. Furious at himself for being a coward and not trying hard enough, and not expressing what he really felt about her all these years.

~~~~~^^~~~~~~~~^^^^

He waited, until 5 years ago when he thought he'd visit her college campus to pick her up and take her out on a date, hoping she wouldn't say no. But he was too late, so there she was, walking out of the college building, laughing and smiling as she ran into the arms of a man he didn't know, and surprised him the most, they two kissed. And it definitely didn't look friendly. Namjoon unknowingly clenched his jaw and fists at the sight, crushing the poor stems of the bouquet of peonies and sunflowers that he brought for Y/n especially for this occasion.

"Are you okay, Mon-ah?" Jin asks from the driver's seat, looking at the rare view mirror.

"I don't think so, hyung," Yoongi answers for him from the passengers side, nodding his head at the direction Y/n was still smiling and laughing, then they're holding hands as they walked away from the building.

Jin didn't need words to start driving back to their dorm, and when they arrived the maknaes were outside waiting for them with an expectant gaze in their eyes. Parking the car, Namjoon quickly got out, slamming the car door with a bit too much force. Roughly throwing the bouquet on the nearby bin, he walks like a man on a mission to the end of the street.

"Let's go after him," Hobi says and they all nod as the maknaes look at their hyungs in confusion.

"What happened?" Taehyung asks

"Did she turn hyung down?" Jimin questions

"Is Rap Mon-hyung okay?" Jungkook asks in a small voice, his lips curling inward as he bites them nervously.

Jin sighs as he leads the younger boys to walk in the direction where Namjoon was headed. Wrapping an arm around Jungkook's shoulder he looks at them and simply says" Don't say anything alright? It didn't end the way we thought it would," he says in a quiet voice" And I think it would be best not to ask him anything related to Y/n for now. "

"What happened then?" Jimin asks him, still walking. Hobi and Yoongi were already ahead, trying to catch up with Namjoon's fast paced, angry stomps on the pavement. As Jin told the stories to the maknaes and watched the sadness and pity in their eyes grow, Namjoon was already at the park and was being to climb the big tree.

"Uhh... Namjoon-ah, please be careful," Hobi says nervously as he looks at Yoongi who also had no idea how to stop the brokenhearted boy from climbing the tree.

"Namjoon-ah, careful!" Yoongi yells "Please! I have no fucking idea how I'm going to explain to your parents why you're doing what you're doing right now if you get hurt climbing a damn tree because of a broken heart!"

"Oh shit," Jin yells as he heards the last bit of Yoongi's sentence "Namjoon-ah, get back down here!" he yells his neck and ear turning red from the fear and the anger he was feeling for the most clumsy person he's ever known his entire life climbing said tree.

"What is hyung doing?" Jungkook asks

"Don't you dare ever follow his footsteps kid, you could, but don't do reckless shit he does," Yoongi warns the youngest.

"I'm calling Bang PD-nim and Sejin-nim" Jin announces as he pulls out his phone to call their producer, but his actions were stopped when the loudest sound he's heard in his life made him drop his phone on the sand, startled.

"YAAAAAAHH!!! FUCKING BASTARD!!!" Namjoon yelled from the highest point of the tree that he was able to cry. He was breathing heavily, on the verge of crying "YOU JUST HAD TO TAKE YOUR FUCKING SWEET TIME, HUH?!" He yelled at the open air at himself "THERE YOU GOD DAMN GO, YOU IDIOT! YOU FUCKING LOST YOUR CHANCE TO DATE THE GIRL YOU WANTED FOR SO DAMN LONG"

Without giving it much thought, Jungkook started climbing the other side of the tree making sure his brothers didn't see him. Namjoon stared at the maknae once he was leaning on the branch in front of him.

"What are you doing here, Jungkook-ah?" Namjoon asks him softly after he was done yelling about, looking away from him wiping a tear discreetly but Jungkook saw it "I felt bad for you, hyung, so I followed you up here instead even though Yoongi hyung told me not to." he shrugged.

Bang PD-nim and Sejin-nim arrived "Mon-ah, get down from there," Sejin-nim said "You're gonna get hurt!"

"What's the maknae doing there with him?" Bang PD-nim ask Hobi and Yoongi who suddenly look around them only to find the maknae missing.

"You little brat!" Yoongi yelled "I told you not to climb the tree,"

"Don't worry, hyung," Jungkook called back, "I'd do the same for all of you," then turned towards Namjoon "What happened with Y/n, hyung? I thought you'd be happier when you returned."

Namjoon took another deep breath "She uh..." he cleared his throat before continuing, he felt like he was running out of air to breathe because of what he had witnessed earlier "She was with another guy, they're probably dating. She never told me that she was seeing someone else."

Jungkook bit on his lip as he listened to his hyung explain what happened when he was about to leave the car, go up to her and ask her out on a date but was rudely interrupted by a man who seemed to have already taken his place. After a few more minutes talking to Jungkook, thanks to his distraction, Bang PD-nim and Sejin-nim were up to date on what was going on and decided to make him face the music so to speak. Y/n arrived at the park, she was on a date with Armand, the exchange student who she's been seeing for months in secret, when she got a call from the boys' manager and cut the date short when they said that Namjoon was on a tree. It was enough to send her in a panicked frenzy to leave the date abruptly to somewhat save her best friend.

"Namjoon-ah," she called from where the other men were standing. Namjoon's dragon shaped eyes widened and his lips slightly pursed as his gaze shifted from Jungkook slowly to looking below him where Y/n stood, a panic-stricken look on her face and sadness in her eyes.

"Namjoon-ah, please get down here before you hurt yourself," she half begged half demanded

"Don't worry about me, I'm okay," Namjoon tries to reassure her

"Joonie-ya," she calls out to him, so far she's the only one who calls him that and he's allowed it because he has feels for her "I don't know what exactly happened, but you didn't have to climb a tree because you're mad that the girl you like didn't go out with you," behind her, Namjoon saw Yoongi was mouthing that she doesn't know it's her and Jin was giving him a thumbs up that all was well.

"Just get down here and let's talk about it if you wanna," she offers "if not, well... just write a song about it and rip it off like a band aid. You'll move on, Joonie, you'll love someone else, and I promise they'll love you back"

"That's not what I want, Y/n-ssi" he tells her "I don't want anyone else, all I want in this world is y-"

"Ya, Namjoon-ah" Hobi yells out to him, enough to cut his sentence before he said something he wasn't ready to say yet and Hobi's voice was loud enough for Y/n not to hear the end of what Namjoon said "Get down here before we call the firefighters to get you back down here!"

"Joonie-ya," Y/n called out to him one last time "We don't always get what we want, some of us just happen to be lucky. I just left my date alone because they said you're up, stuck on a tree like a stubborn cat."

"Y-you did that? W-why?" Namjoon stuttered "Because you're important to me Namjoon-ah!" she yells back at him, "And right now, I'm pissed because I didn't get to eat! Now get down here so we could go back to your dorm so I can cook Jjajjangmyeon for all of us, or you could just stay there are starve. You look like a dumb dragon perched on a small tree, you punk. I can't believe I'm yelling at an Idol who's stuck on a damn tree like a cat," she stomps her foot on the ground. The men around them watching the interaction found it funny that Hobi was taking a video for future purposes, mainly friendly blackmail. What made Hobi laugh was the way Y/n walked out of the park and headed for the grocery, maknae's (minus Jungkook) following her. When they were out of earshot Bang PD-nim chuckled at the sight before turning to Jin "Guess you only needed her help, get the receipt from the grocery and let me know her bank account to give her a refund. Get your groceries too," he says pulling out a couple of bills and handing it to him "Just in case." then he turned to the man on the tree "Namjoon-ah, get down there and take your girl's advice," he calls out to him grinning and he walks back to his car with Sejin-nim. That evening, Y/n cooked dinner with the help of Jin, Yoongi and Hobi. Despite the cramped space, they were able to walk back and forth in circles and prepare dinner. Namjoon was sitting in front of Y/n, he watched her with sad eyes as he ate. He didn't know whether he was supposed to break everything in his path or just cry, and it wasn't until she left the dorm that Namjoon went back to the nearest convenience store with notebook and ballpen on hand. After two cups on coffee, he wrote about how he felt into two songs, one of them later down the line gave them their first award and a gave them a lot of recognition, the other one... was something that he wanted tell her. But told himself that when they record the song he wanted it to sound almost like haunting accusation.

"I need you and run." he says to himself, cocking his head to the side sighing, he mutters "Please get the message," only to be disappointed that she didn't know it was about her.

~~~~~^^~~~~~~~~^^^^

"Hey, earth to Namjoon," you called out to him smiling "you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry," Namjoon shook the memory from his head a d chuckled "Sorry, I had a mini flashback that's all,"

"Ooh," she leans forward, elbows on the desk and a hand on her cheek "What's it about?"

"Remember when I went up a tree? After this girl didn't go out with me."

She thought about it for a second before she laughs "Is that the one where I cooked Jjajjangmyeon for us and you looked like you were gonna cry on your food?"

"Wait," his eyes widened slightly "You saw that?"

"It's hard not to see it, Joonie," she smiles sympathetically "Your aura screamed that you were heartbroken that's why I cooked, because if I remember it right, it's your comfort food in some sort of way"

Namjoon nods, he felt the exact same thing when your engagement was announced, and he went up the same tree again. To his surprise, the other members followed him and the maknae did exactly what he did that day, he went up the tree. But he didn't scream out his frustrations and their stay didn't last long because this time he came down without your help, and this time he cried in front of his brothers. Telling them that he's lost his chance with you.

"I still am," he admits "Not being loved in return by someone who you've loved for all those years is heart breaking." She nodded. Namjoon asks for the bill and as they get into Namjoon's car, he asks the driver to drop off Y/n first.

They were in front of the villa she was renting with her family and friends, including him and the other members, when Namjoon decided to end his pain. Ripping off a band aid, like she said.

"There's something I have to say, but there are two promises I need to know you'll keep as I tell you this story. The first promise is that you let me say everything on one go and ask me questions later,"

"Alright..." she trailed off hesitant "Go ahead?"

Taking a deep breath, Namjoon had a moment where he thought about letting it go and never letting her know, but there was also that selfish part of him that was begging to be let out. And he liked listening to that part of him.

"I was gonna ask this girl out years ago," he stared at her "I was ready to go out with her after knowing her for years. I've been... In love with her for the past fifteen years; that's from the moment I met her until today." he stopped gaging her reaction and so far so good, she was intently listening, so he continued.

"I met her in English classes." he bites his lip, knowing she's going to finally know how he's felt after all these years, and he didn't know what else to do other than let his mouth run, so he looked away from her. Watching the light of the room that she's staying in, the room that was joined with his, only to be divided by a large bathroom.

"She was wearing her uniform, with a lavander and gray hoodie on top, which made it easier for me to find her. You see I had a crush on her, she's really smart and well spoken, gentle and kind, full of light and laughter, and most of all she had kindness I could never compare to anybody else. When I finally walked up to her, I pretended not to know what our homework was to have an excuse to have her look at me past the glasses and the awful haircut, and you did, " he smiles at the memory before quickly glancing at her. She was slightly wide eyed with his last statement making him look at his hands, suddenly they were very interested to look at.

"I never asked you back then because... do you even remember how I looked like?! I had a bowl cut, it wasn't really hot or cool. So, I told myself, once we get into college I'll ask you out. But it took a while before college was something that I really had to do. I had to work first, we debuted and had to work even harder, I did everything I could to keep you. But that day, I had a bouquet of your favorites, peonies and sunflowers. I was in Jin-hyung's car with him, Yoongi and Hoseok, we showed up at the university. We came home from tour that day and I was really excited to see you, but instead I met you in a different circumstance. You kissed Armand right before I could even get out of the car, and I felt my heart shatter. Jin-hyung drove back to the dorm and we all walked to the park where you saw all of us. I ate dinner with a broken heart because I took too long to ask you out. I wrote songs about you. I need you and run were written that evening. Serendipity, Trivia: Love, Home, The truth untold, they're all about you and for you.

"I've been in love with you for these past fifteen years and I'm such a coward that I never told you in person and now you're going to get married to somebody else" he bit his lip as tears pooled in his eyes "It's so cliché for someone to fall in love with their best friend but what can I do, I'm just a human being who happens to be in love with you and now I'm losing you,

"I lost you to him," he looks out the window, he refuses to look at her not knowing that she too was crying at the secret that he's kept for so long. She's never seen him harshly wipe his tears away in frustration before except for time when the group was deciding on breaking up which never happened.

"I don't expect you to feel the same way or to back out of the wedding, but I wanted to let you know."

"Why now?" she asks in a small voice, Namjoon barely heard her if it wasn't for the silence ringing out in the car "Because the feeling has been eating me up. It's selfish of me do this because you're getting married in less than 12 hours, I know that. But you know me better than I know myself, baby." he whispers the endearment, not knowing she heard him.

Y/n turned to open the door, before she could get a foot out the door Namjoon speaks behind her "I might not stay for the entire ceremony tomorrow, I can't stand there in the aisle behind your husband to be and watch the two of you seal your marriage and your vows with a kiss, wishing it was me instead. I just can't,

"And I'm staying out of your lives, you'll never hear from me again in person. Consider it a wedding present." he states as Y/n finally gets out of the car, but not without closing the door with a bit more force than the usual. Namjoon flinched as his heart breaks, watching his security guard hold out an umbrella for her as it started raining heavily, quietly he lets his tears fall.

"Sir?" his driver asks hesitantly. Namjoon's driver has been around for 7 years now, so he has seen how madly in love Namjoon was with Y/n. Everyone saw it but never said a word to Y/n about it, the would even talk about how lucky she was to have caught the attention of Namjoon even before debut day. Some of them evwn assumed at one point that they were dating because of how Namjoon would look at her lovingly whenever she wasn't looking, "She'll come around, sir" he tries to lift the mood by giving Namjoon positive thoughts, but the only thing that would make Namjoon happy was to have her, but this was his reality and he knew that.

"Not everyone gets a happy ending," he says sad

"But destiny gives it to those who deserve it," his driver tells him

"I..." Namjoon started "I don't think I believe in destiny anymore... she... seems cruel to those she abandons..." his driver simply nodded as they drove back to the hotel.

Falling onto the bed, Namjoon stared at the ceiling letting everything he had just done marinade into his reality. Pick up his phone he quickly sends a text to his group chat with the other members before turning off his phone as notifications started coming in.

Namjoon: She knows everything. I asked the driver to leave the drive in her room earlier.

Back the house where Y/n in preparation for her wedding, everyone was fast asleep except for her mother who was waiting for her in yer room a paper bag on the table next to her.

"Oh good, you're back," she says smiling "Let's get ready for bed, you need enough rest for tomorrow,"

Nodding at her mom then at the paper bag beside her she asks, "What's that?"

"Oh, right," she lightly exclaimed "Namjoon's driver left it for you, he says it's a wedding gift." Y/n slowly opens the bag that her mom hands out before sitting beside her at the end of the bed.

Pulling out a heavy item that was as the side of a DVD but thicker.

"What is it?" her mom asks alout of curiosity, but she knew well what it was and what it possibly consisted.

With tears pooling in her eyes, she looks at her mother finally letting everything she learned tonight sink in.

"Do you think I'm making the right decision? Marrying Armand?" I ask her

"While you're very much in love with Namjoon?" she asks sighing "No. But if you're asking me for the sake of the feeling of because you just want to be married, then it's also a no.

"I love Armand, he's a great kid. Treats you right and all, but I don't think he's really ready to settle down. I have a feeling that you're just going to be an unhappy trophy wife when you get older. I even see you two probably getting divorced because I think you're only together for the sake of convenience, but I don't see you too completely in love with each other."

Y/n pulls her in for a hug, rubbing her back as she sobbed in her mother's arms, "You're the only one who knows the right answer, no one is forcing you to choose someone. It's your decision to follow your heart by following what you know in your head is right." Slowly her mom leaves her alone to rest once she's calmed down.

Picking up the hard drive she noticed two invisible sticky note on it, sitting on the chair in front of her laptop which was on a coffee table she reads the note that says,

Condition two: Before you plug this in to your laptop, promise me that you will forgive me for everything. For not telling you that I love you sooner.

I wish I did, it's something I'll regret until my dying breath. So please, humor this clumsy, old soul. Forgive me.

x. NJ.

Carefully taking them off of the surface of the drive and placing them on the empty pads of the laptop, she plugs it in only to be greeted by a password screen.

Your color of your favorite ice-cream that I'll never eat / Nature.

Letting out a chuckle and a quiet sob, she quickly types in 'green' then she had access. She was greeted with three folders each named 'Part 1- Start here', 'Part 2 - Dream of me.' and 'Part 3 - Farewell'. Deciding to respect his wishes, she opens the first folder, inside was one video entitled 'Open me' that she ended up playing. As the player loaded up, she was greeted by Namjoon's tired appearance. Chin on the palm of his hand that rested on the arm rest of his chair.

I guess this is gonna be the first video? he mutters to himself as she sighs heavily, sitting up to look straight into the camera

Okay... Hi? I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing. I just finished a whole bottle of whiskey with Yoongi hyung. He didn't exactly stop me so... I kept drinking. Today is... he pauses to look at the screen of his phone

December 28th. Y/n's breath was caught on her throat, it was the night of she announced her engagement to Armand.

Actually it's the 29th, it's past midnight. You probably know what today is - or yesterday, but I'll remind you because I'm good ol' pal of yours. he took a deep breath as he rubbed his temples You got engaged a couple of hours ago he sings sadly to himself Hence, whiskeeeyyyy. My best friend.. aside from the members... and you.

Namjoon pours the amber liquid on to a glass that had one ice, swirled it around a couple of times before drinking it in one go as if it was a shot of Soju.

I'm doing this... thing, he motions a hand to the camera as a farewell. Because you're going to belong to someone else, and that someone ain't me, baby, he takes another swig before continuing I'm gonna send you a copy of all of these, he grabs the camera from where it was placed and pointed it to the screen of his computer monitor that was showing organized folders dated by year.

I'm gonna turn this into a huge ass movie and give you a copy. Just to show you how much... I love you, he mutters the last part to himsepf probably knowing by now that the microphone picked it up. Namjoon puts the camera back to where it originally was then he looks directly at it, I'll always love you. But I wanna show you how I fell in love with you and why. I can do it in two ways: write you a song or pile all these up into a movie... or both.

He lazily grins at the camera before saying I've already done the first part, so now imma do this. Originally, I planned making this for you so that one day when I confessed my love for you and I proposed, I would play this as a proposal video or when ended up getting married, this was gonna be my wedding present. But since, neither of those are gonna happen this is gonna be my wedding and parting present for you.

He eventually stops talking and after a minute or two of spacing out he suddenly says Keep your end of the promise. Please. The second one is important. At least send me a text or tell someone to relay it to me if you don't want to talk to me directly. Just let me know you forgive me for my cowardice and for me never seeing you again.

The video ends and Y/n moves on to the enxt folder where she found a scanned file that she opens and finds a handwritten letter from Namjoon.

"You used to say you like romantic stuff like keeping pictures, handwritten notes, late night dates, random short dates, text messages about your day and sweet boba tea with snacks whenever you were sad. I gave you all that, I hope he does that and if he does hope he'll continue to do that for you even when you're old and gray, you deserve that. You deserve it."

Closing the image file, she moves on to the video and when her video player launched and the video was playing she was greeted by pictures of her with Namjoon from when they met from the first time when she transferred to Seoul. Pictures kept moving back and forth from the screen, even a few video clips played, including ones she's never seen before. The first one that surprised her was a video clip from her college orientation, the boys were already quite known around the country and they were already making a name for themselves abroad, and Namjoon surprised her by traveling back home to South Korea even just for a day to see her, months before he had to be convinced to get down from a tree. In the video, the college seniors made the freshmen perform and she was singing Dream a little dream of me, a song Namjoon knew but a talent he never knew she had. He was with Hobi when they sneaked in the auditorium and while she was performing Hobi took a video of the whole performance backstage with her on one side and Namjoon's side profile on the other. He was staring, jaw dropped at the sight before him. He was in love with her, that was the moment he fell and Hobi pointed it out as everyone applauded when Y/n performance ended.

"Holy shit, Hoba," he gapes

"Is that your girl, Namjoon-ah?" Hobi asked only to catch Namjoon's reaction on camera as he slowly nods and mutters "yeah... that's my girl right there... " Y/n heart dropped when she heard his words. The had to go back a few times when he said it, she wanted to believe it... so bad. Every picture was now a pulling at her heart strings and it was past midnight when she got to the last folder containing a video entitled 'Farewell.', and not having any other choice, she played it. Recognizing the background of the the hotel in Las Vegas when they had their concert for Permission to dance, she knew the video was fairly recent.

Hey, me again. Probably for the last time by the time you watch this. I'm not sure if I wanna watch you exchange vows with him tomorrow. I don't have the heart or the guts to face that, call me a coward all you want. Call me all the names you want to. I'm pretty sure I deserve it. he sighs, leaning back on his chair and stretching his largs arms out. I'm tired, but you came today to surprise us. He doesn't know you're here, and I love you for that, breaking all your rules for me, and it's taking everything in me to stop myself from knocking at your door that's across mine; to kiss you senseless and make you forget he ever existed but I have to stop myself he chuckles, shaking his head slightly so for tonight, before you join me in my museum hopping adventure across the country, I'll stay up wishing, hoping, praying even, that you will come knocking at my door asking if you could sleep over because your room feels weird. You used to do that when you joined us on tour for Love Yourself, you spent your entire summer vacation with us and I loved every minute of your presence. Even as you slept next to me in my hoodie.

He stops talking for a good second as he reminisces and he before he continued, he looked directly at the camera as if looking directly at Y/n and says I want to see you grow old beside me like that. But if I ever get the guts to see you one last time, may it be on the day of your wedding or the night before as long as you know how I feel about you. Whether you accept it or not, return it or, most likely, not. I'll live the rest of my days knowing that I never find anyone else who will make me feel the way you did, and I'll never look at another woman the way I look at you. If I were to be selfish, I want you. You. You are all I'll ever want to live in this world, fuck air... fuck water... fuck food, man. You. Are. All. I. Want. And. Need. You're my everything, from the day I laid eyes on you I knew you were the one, all it took was for you to sing Dream a little dream for me to realize I was in love with you. But I was too late. And here we are. Me, watching you be another man's wife. You, watching me do all of this, just to ask for your forgiveness and to never get mad me for being a coward and not telling you all this sooner. I love you, Y/n. I don't understand why you can't see that... Namjoon' places his head in his hands as he starts crying, Y/n started crying wondering herself if she was making the right decision marrying Armand just to be an unhappy trophy wife in the future. I love you so much, I don't want you to marry him but I love you too much to disrespect your wishes and stop you from marrying him. That should be me, jagiya... you know that I don't exactly like him but I know you know what's best for you. So I'll let you go. Your happiness is all I want to see.

Harshly wiping his tears away, he says his goodbye I'll always be here when you need me, you know where to find me. And I'll still welcome you with open arms, as if all of this never happened. I'll wait. I'll always wait for you to come back home. But for now... farewell, baby. Namjoon blows a kiss at the camera before turning it off.

Y/n did go to his room that night complaining that the bed was uncomfortable whuch was true and that it was too cold, that was a white lie to steal a hoodie and he let her willingly. When she asked why his eyes were glassy, he waived it off saying he was really sleepy and tired, and she bought it. Y/n cried harder, muffling her loud sobs with the throw pillow that she was hugging while she was watching their videos.

She didn't cry because she because she knew deep down tonight was the last time she saw Namjoon, but she cried because for the first time since she met Armand, she knew she didn't fully love him.

~~~~~^^~~~~~~~~^^^^

Bright light greeted Y/n when her mother and the bridesmaids pulled the curtains open letting the sunlight pour in, she spent the whole night crying as she rewatched all of the videos until she fell asleep at past 4am.And it wasn't even 5 hours since she was lulled to sleep.

"Good morning sunshine!!!" her maid of honor and best friend yelled, but stopped in their tracks when they saw her puffy face and reddish eyes "What in the world happened to you? You're not sick are you?!" she exclamed. Y/n shook her head saying that she just couldn't sleep, but the other ladies in the room knew otherwise. However, they decided not to comment on it.

Getting up to bathe, she tried her best to depuff her face specifically her eyes which felt very warm. While her make up was done and most of the swelling went down, Y/n eyes started tearing up and her lips started to quiver making the make-up artist stop to look at her mother and best friends for help, and help they did. Every one was rushed out of the room, once the door was shut Y/n couldn't help but cry harder than she did in the early morning. No words of comfort helped until her dad arrived, "I thought you had a wedding to prepare for, what's going on?" he asked concerned, as he closed the door and made his way to his daughter to pull her in a hug one her best friend asks "Is this about Namjoon?"

Y/n's head shot up as she looked up at her, "W-why would you ask that?" Y/n asks

"I saw him drop you off last night, I'm guessing the dinner didn't go because of the way I woke up past midnight and heard you crying in your room," she holds Y/n hand "When are you both going to stop being idiots?" Y/n mom asks

"Hey," he chuckles at his wife, arms still wrapped around his daughter in a hug "we're still idiots even at this age, the correct question is 'when are they going to stop being blind to what they really feel'."

Y/n stood up and walked towards her laptop bringing it to where her parents were sitting. Playing the videos her parents and best friend's reaction didn't change. Y/n kept her eyes on the floor, thanking God that they had enough time to spare before they did the first look of the bride and groom an hour before the wedding. Y/n parents looked at each other with a knowing look before looking at their daughter who was now quietly letting her tears stain the bathrobe and camisole she was wearing.

"Do you forgive him like he asked?" her mom asks to which she nods

"Do you love him back?" her dad asks to which she nods her head repeatedly and cries some more this time her sobs were heard throughout the room as her parents pull her in for a hug.

Back at the hotel, the rest of the boys were trying to convince Namjoon to get dressed but he just sat on the couch refusing to move, and none of them made an effort to make him stand up , not even Jungkook.

"Come on, man," Hobi says "You have to be there, call it a last glimpse or a last look at her. You'll never see her again after today,"

"I already said goodbye, Hoba," Namjoon said in a low whisper like voice "I don't need to do it in person,"

"Hyung," Jimin started "You told her she can ask questions right, then let her ask today, you might even get a chance to know if she forgave you,"

"Think about it, Namjoon-ah," Jin says as he fixes his neck tie "You'll get to keep the image of her walking down the aisle towards you forever embedded in your memory," Taehyung was able to tell off the eldest for being to mean but Jimin stops him before he could. Jin had a plan, and it was definitely worked the way Namjoon stayed silent before he slowly got up to head back into his room and they heard the shower running.

When they made it to the church, everyone was chatting about how beautiful the wedding was and how they couldn't wait to see the bride and groom. Namjoon sighs heavily for what felt like the hundredth time and it was just the afternoon. Namjoon sat down with the rest of Y/n friends and family, he didn't want to be there, but Jin somehow convinced him to. For an unknown reason, he wanted that. He wanted the image of Y/n walking down the aisle looking like a blooming bride in his memory until his dying breath.

Back in the villa where the first look was about to take place, Armand stood facing a tree covered with sheer golden ribbons and fairy lights reminding him of Christmas ribbons put on trees for decoration. Y/n was in the hallway having a word with one of production staff filming the wedding and the photographer, though her parents managed to get her in the wedding dress she didn't look quite happy as she wanted to be.

"It doesn't feel right," she comments when her mom was right in front of her fixing her dress

Her mom hummed "That's because you've been in love with your best friend and didn't even know it until last night," she smiles "You know the right thing to do, your dad and I raised you well to know what's right and to choose what makes you happy. You're a smart woman, you'll figure it out,"

And now, staring at her fiance's back she knew what to do.

~~~~~^^~~~~~~~~^^^^

Namjoon was on his third glass of champagne when they announced that the wedding was about to begin. With the glass being snatched away from him by Jimin, who drank it all in one go before returning it to the waiter that walked by.

"That was mine," he slightly glared at Jimin "Well, it's in my stomach now having a party with the hors d'oeuvres," he smiles at him smugly. Namjoon decided to drop the topic trying his best not to get too pissed or he was going to lose his mind and temper.

As soft music starts playing, everyone turns around to watch the entourage except for Namjoon, he stares straight ahead and when the groom finally takes his place their eyes meet. Armand nods at him and Namjoon returns it. When the maid of honor, your best friend was finally done walking the aisle, everine was patiently waiting for Y/n, but the modernized wedding march didn't play making the six members look at each other confused when Jungkook tells them she's at the door of the ceremony area. He even pointed it out, making them turn around discreetly and he was right, ends of your wedding dress was peeking at the foggy glass near the base of the door. It would appear for a second then it would disappear only to appear a few seconds later, Jungkook felt nervous for the groom but a part of him was happy. He knew you were pacing. Biting his lip to stop himself from disrespectfully smirking at the groom, he looks down to close his eyes from anyone seeing his hopefulness, but the other members except for Namjoon knew what he was thinking as the look each other with smiling eyes. Namjoon's farewell and last appearance did more than just evoke emotions that she's buried years ago. It was, at mere moments before her wedding, making her choose what she knew was right.

Behind the closed door, Y/n paced as she thought about what she was going to say. Her dad was relaxed but concerned with her pacing. It was a good ten minutes before she looked at her dad and finally nodded. He didn't know what was going on inside her head but he trusted her and her decisions. He just prayed she had known earlier so they didn't have to worry too much about spending on a wedding like this. Taking her dad's arm, the wedding planner and production team already knew what was about to happen but they weren't too worried.

As the wedding march played, Namjoon and Armand's eyes meet one last time, and Armand mouths something at him that he didn't quite understand, it made Armand chuckle and instead pointed at him mouthing you followed by a thumbs up. Still not understanding he turns around to look at Y/n who was a few feet away from him. The sight of her made him gasp quietly, Jin was right and he was glad he listened. It was worth it to see her in white walking down the aisle and remember it for the rest of his life. She looked beautiful it was painful to look at her, he wanted to tear his eyes away from her gaze, but didn't have the heart to look at the love of his life be a vision in white and ignore it.

Y/n was surprised when she spotted Namjoon standing with the rest of the members and her family. She kept her eyes on him until he turned to look at her and for the first time since she turned away from what she felt for him, she finally realized why she fell in love with him all those years ago. When Y/n finally reached the end the aisle, she and Armand smiled at each other before facing the pastor and before he could even get a eord out Armand beat him to it, "Give us a second please," he whispered which surprised the pastor but none the less respected it, turning to Y/n who was staring in space he gently calls her name making her turn to him slowly. Giving her a kind, small smile and nod he says "Go ahead, I'll take care of everything. You don't need to worry about it. I was the one who dragged you into this in the first place."

Y/n looked up at him with teary eyes, "But..."

"Remember what I said an hour ago?" he asks to which she nods in response "Do it."

Turning around, he faces their guests lightly touching her elbow as a way of letting her know she can go, and when he chuckles and tells her to go without making a second thought she grabs the however many yards of tulle of her wedding dress and runs for the exit.

"And she finally lives her Julia Roberts moment," he shakes his head in disbelief as he laughs while everyone gasps at Y/n's actions.

"Everyone calm down, it's okay," Armand reasures them. The seven boys including Namjoon who felt a chill down his spine looks back and forth between the groom and the door that Y/n just disappeared off to. While the entire guests were speaking amongst each other in loud volumes, Armand makes his way towards Namjoon grinning like a fool, "Go after her," he says making Namjoon stare it him as if he's lost his mind

"What?!" Namjoon says in disbelief that is sounded as if he squeaked "What the fuck are you going on about?"

"Just go. Go find her, you know where. Tell her hiw you really feel," Armand says

"I have no clue what you're talking about, man," he denies

"Stop lying to me and to everyone including yourself, Namjoon," Armand exclaimed with a chuckle "We all know you love her, and she's in love with you,"

"That-... that is not true," Namjoon denies once more "She's supposed to be marrying you,"

"Out of convenience because I needed to get married for my father to pass the business on to me and she knew that from the beginning!" he interrupts Namjoon "We fell in love but I she stayed because she was heartbroken after seeing you with somebody else!" The other six boys who were listening were finding the story entertaining and they listened intently with wide eyes and jaws dropped.

"Y/n has been in love with you even before I met her, she's told me that but when she saw all of you in a club and you were with another girl, she got jealous and told me she doesn't love you anymore. But, brother, I know the look she gives you and the looks you give her when no body else is looking, now go. You know exactly where to find her, "

" Go! " the other members start yelling at him and start pushing him towards the exit

"Hey bro," Y/n best friend yells out "Bring her back here and get married or I'm marrying Jungkook,"

"Hurry back, please," Jungkook whispers at him before pushing him to the exit, all the members behind him. Namjoon's driver was already waiting for him in the car at the valet and as soon as he sits his driver gives him a loud laugh as he drives to the main road yelling "I told you so!" as they sped away, not knowing the other members were all packed up like sardines in a car following them.

~~~~~^^~~~~~~~~^^^^

Y/n walked the halls of high school that he and Namjoon attended back when they were teenagers. It was pouring outside and she didn't bring a jacket or change out of her dress when she ran away. The students who saw her asked her if she was okay and why she was crying, explaining that they were tears of joy they waited on the roof of the school's entrance until their parents picked them up. Not being able to enter the school she walked around the building until she reached a nearby gazebo, the exact spot where she and Namjoon first locked eyes and exchanged awkward smiles at each other. The ends of her dress were turning brown with all the rainwater and mud she ran into, she was thankful that even though she was wearing heels they were closed shoes protecting most of her feet from rain.

Sitting on the gazebo bench, she leans down to take off her shoes, massaging her feet as she places both of it on the bench as she sat sideways. She was quite thankful that she was able to grab a taxi that took her halfway to the school with a small amount of money her best friend put in the pockets of her dress. Yes, she had her dress customized to have pockets and she was glad that it came in handy. Gazing out into the football field, she thought about how her body and her mind dragged her there. It was an unconscious thing that she did. Whenever she fought with Namjoon or Armand, or anyone for that matter, they would always find her here sitting on the gazebo. It was what Hobi called a Safe Zone, somewhere no one could get mad or attack her. It was her second safe zone anyway, first being Namjoon, but she stopped running to Namjoon unless she was devastated. He was the only one who was able to comfort her in ways Armand couldn't and he knew that.

That's why when he heard the faint footsteps of Y/n behind her, he had an inkling that the wedding wasn't going to happen from the way he saw her crying as she ran up the stairs and how devastated Namjoon looked as the car drove away. He knew that she finally found out that Namjoon was in love with her and he was okay with that, he accepted it. He even went up to her room hours after she arrived, he was about to knock on the door when he heard a loud sob and her quiet cries. He knew from that moment that the time he feared arrived but he wasn't angry, he was sad not for himself but for the both of them. For a precious friendship possibly broken.

"Armand?" she quietly calls for him making turn around and seeing her in her dress he thought she'd make a beautiful bride but not for him. Shaking her head with tears in her eyes, she starts apologizing to him.To her surprise, Armands steps forward and wraps his arms around her, rubbing her back gently "I know, I know. It's okay," he tries to soothe her "You can cry, it's okay. It's just us." And he let her. For a good few minutes he let her cry, tears staining his suit but he didn't mind.

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked when finally got the chance to breathe

"I'm not really sure what to tell you, Y/n, because as much as I want to marry you 'cause I love you and I can't force you to marry me when we both know that you're really in love with him."

"How come every one knows that?"

"Because we've all seen signs but chose to ignore it or shrug it off, simply because of the fact that we're dating. But every one could see right through the two of you, even I did.

"I'm not mad at you for being in love with him while you were with me, I just wished you realized sooner. It would've been less miserable and less painful for you both." he admitted, taking her hand he kisses her knuckles "I accept if you don't want to go through with the wedding anymore, but please do me a favor and walk down the aisle so they wouldn't think you just bailed on the wedding. You can run away right before everyone sits down. Just look around for a bit, you put a lot of hard work planning what you wanted,

"It just so happens that it's with the wrong guy," he smiles "Go be happy, love." he leans forward to kiss her forehead "You deserve happiness with the man you truly love,"

Namjoon asked to be dropped off at Y/n apartment thinking she would be there but tye receptionist mentioned that she didn't see Y/n enter the building making Namjoon runnto his building that was next door to see if she was waiting by his front door only to be disappointed. Walking back to the car he finally spots the car behind his driver and walks up to it, only to find his brothers squeezed in between the two rows of the Starex.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asks eyebrows pulling together

"Did you really think we were going to let run out to look for her on your own?!" Yoongi shot back at him "How in the world were you going to look for her?"

"You went to the most obvious places she would never go" Jin pointed out "She would never go back to her place or yours, it's not a great idea to wind down in a closed off area,"

"Well where do you think she went if you all think you're damned geniuses?" Namjoon exclaimed out of frustration "She's out in the middle of Seoul all alone in a fucking wedding gown and it's raining!"

"Watch your language, Namjoon-ah," Jin said in a stern voice that he rarely uses on his younger brothers "You don't have to be mad at us when all we're trying to do is help," Namjoon immediately backed down not wanting the eldest to be upset with him.

"I just..." he started "I need to find her, she gets sick easily and I don't want her to get hurt, she's out there all alone-"

"You're not kids anymore, Namjoon-ah," Yoongi tells him "She could handle herself, but I know what you mean about her being alonenand needing to find her asap. So start using that brain of yours to think about where she could go, somewhere only the two of you would know.

"There are so many places we went to over the past fifteen years, how am I supposed to remember all of them?" he says in a panic as a thunder rumbles above them

"Do you think she'd go to hyung's parents?" Jimin asks them

"To Ilsan?" Namjoon asks "It's too far away, and she wouldn't go there knowing my parents aren't..." he stops mid-sentence, looking at the road seeing that there wasn't too much traffic ahead, he was mentally calculating time

"What's wrong, hyung?" Taehyung asks him, looking at where he was looking

"Home," Namjoon finally says in a quiet voice "Home. I know where she is," he says in a firmer voice before running back to his car and tells the driver where to go and his brothers follow right behind him.

~~~~~^^~~~~~~~~^^^^

"I swear we're gonna get arrested, Namjoon-ah," Y/n says in a panic holding his hand in a death grip, but he didn't mind. They're both usually paired up together with a senior back in high school because of how clumsy and heavy-handed, but Y/n was naturally clumsier than heavy-handed, that talent was something that Namjoon excelled in. But what they're doing was completely reckless.

"It's not breaking and entering, babe," he teases, Y/n blushed at the endearment hiding her face on his shoulder "The gazebo is outside and the place isn't even gated, it's practically part of the park's property if you follow the invisible line"

"I don't care, out school thinks it theirs I'm not disrespecting their decisions considering the fact that I need to graduate and not get expelled or arrested for trespassing,"

"Let them try," he mutters as they walk nearer to the gazebo

"You're an idiot," she sighs "We both are..."

"Welcome home, baby," he jokes as they step into the gazebo, their surroundings were only lit by the moonlight and a street lamp "The baby's all tucked in bed and fast asleep,"

"Keep joking around like that and you just might have to marry me,"

"Don't dare me," he chuckles "It's gonna be your problem, I'm not Jin hyung or Yoongi hyung. I won't be able to cook for you,"

"Or keep the place clean," you laugh

"Ya!" he exclaimed too loudly making him cover his mouth and Y/n silently laughs "You're lucky you don't live with us,"

"What are you going to do?" she dared "Vacuum the place in the early morning? You must have forgotten that I'm a heavy sleeper,"

"You sleep like Jungkook, nothing can wake you up except for food," he smiles as he comfortably places his arm on the bench behind her. Behind them was a fence that separated the school from the park where there was a couple by the swing set.

"You know we could just get married and not tell anyone," he tries to dare her "The city hall isn't that far all we gotta do is wait for the next available date,"

"You're crazy," she chuckled "Focus on your debut and your dream, not to mention you have to finish school and all. When you're done with all of that, let's talk weddings and marriage, and every thing in between,"

"How about we live together till then?" he proposed "We'll have a little house, maybe two bedrooms one for us, the other for an office and maybe in the future it will turn into a nursery,"

"You're too drunk," she laughs off his offer nit knowing how serious he was "We should have stayed with soju instead of shifting gears to whiskey,"

"I'm serious," he protests eyes wide as he gently places another hand on the table, leaning closer to her "We could get married when I've saved up for a wedding you want once the debut becomes a success,"

"Namjoon-ah," she started "Listen to what you're saying. This isn't a joke, we have our own dreams to make come true. Are you absolutely sure you want to start family before you could even stand on your own two feet? Bangtan's debut is next week and you're thinking about getting married,

"If does become a success, you won't have time for a relationship let alone a family of your own until the dust has settled," she watches Namjoon's reaction as he looks away from her, he knew he should have confessed earlier before Bang PD-nim announced their upcoming debut. But deep down, he knew she was right. However, he was persistent he wanted to be with her before someone else could step in. He had a feeling he was going to lose her once his focus fully shifts to being the leader of Bangtan.

"For now, we can enjoy this friendship," she says smiling as she was rubbing his shoulder, but Namjoon thinks that it was his heart that needed to be in your touch to heal from this rejection "and we could call this little gazebo 'home' if you want. Our 'little home', a place only we know and the only place we can truly be ourselves and be comfortable."

"This gazebo is home if you're here," he partially agrees with her "If you're not here, this is just another gazebo. You're my home, Y/n,"

"Ditto, nerd," she sighs resting her head on the shoulder she was rubbing. Placing a small kiss on his shoulder she whispers "Go win their hearts, Namjoon-ah. I know the seven of you guys are gonna make it big. You have something others don't,"

"Hmm... And what would that be?"

"Passion, patience, determination, one dream and the best part, you have each other." Y/n smiles to herself, "But the biggest flex your team has is that they have you as their leader, it takes a great team to succeed, but a great leader will make a great team succeed be even better,

So, believe me when I say you'll make it big. And I'm gonna be right behind you, watching all of you reach your dreams and live it" she said proudly.

Namjoon let the tears flooding his eyes fall as he kisses the top of her head. He knew that he had to succeed to make her proud, he finally compromised with himself that he should make her proud and come back to her when the right time comes.

"Just don't forget about me, Joonie," she teases "I'll forever be your number one fan,"

"Don't be ridiculous, Y/n-ssi. You're going to be right next to me the whole ride, you gonna be with me all the time. I'll make sure of it."

That early morning, Namjoon walked her back to her dorm before going back home to his dorm. Not completely happy about being rejected by Y/n, but feeling more determined. It was like adding wood to a campfire, add more and the fire becomes bigger, that fire was his determination. Little did he know, she was gonna end up moving om with her life without him as he focused more and more on his job.

"YA! I've been looking everywhere for you," a voice says behind Y/n making her turn around quickly as she snaps out of her thoughts. Namjoon always thought that she never remembered that night because of how drunk she was, but that was the evening that Y/n found out that she had a pretty high tolerance with alcohol that over the years whenever the boys got drunk, Yoongi and Y/n would be the last ones standing. A secret that Yoongi kept, knowing that it would be a useful talent of hers in the future, and, man was he right .

"Do you know how fucking worried I was about you?!" he asks her his tone indicating a hint of anger with the concern laced in his voice "You could get sick with how reckless you are. Can't you see it's pouring and you're in a fucking dress?!" Standing in the rain, Namjoon's chopped blonde hair was wet and so was his dress shirt and coat. Y/n couldn't place the look he had in his face, no doubt he looked worried and mad, but there was something else. Longing, she decided, and hope. Both a very dangerous combination.

"Go home, Namjoon-ah," she says through the the noise of the rain splattering on the roof of the gazebo and the pavement "You don't have to worry about me, I'll just grab a bus home."

"Like hell you are," he scoffed "And I'm not done talking"

Y/n wanted to take her shoes and throw it at him, and she was seconds from doing so. Not like it was the first time she threw a shoe at him.

"What the hell happened?" he asks and she rolled her eyes "Why did you run away from the wedding? People are getting more and more worried about you, you should go back and get dried up. Armand sent me to get you."

"He didn't send you, dad did." Y/n says "Dad was the last person to talk to Armand before I walked down the aisle. So, it's most likely dad.

And don't fucking ask me what happened when you were the one who sent a hard drive filled of videos of you getting trashed," she started fuming "Stop pretending like you didn't say the things you said last night to put me where I am right now, you little piece of shit!" she grabbed her shoe and hurled it at his direction aiming for his head only to surprise her when he ducked to the side and dodged it like a pro making the boys in the car who were watching the entire thing happening with Jungkook and Hobi taking videos, howl at how impressive it was.

"Oooh!," Hobi chuckled "Oh he's gonna be in trouble for dodging that one!" all of them laughed as Jimin asked "We're such bad friends for filming this,"

"Hey, now," Jin said from the passenger seat "At least we came to support him, and we're not just his friends, we're family too,"

"You measly little fucker," Y/N gritted as she threw another one this time the show landed on his muscled bicep "You dare," she threw a bracelet she was wearing "fucking" she struggled with taking the viel from her head before bundling it into a ball and throwing it at him "dodge me. You asshole!" From the car, Hobi snort-laughed as they continued filming "Told you," making Jimin lightly hit his arm as they all chuckled.

"Call me whatever you want, Y/n, if it's going to make you sleep better tonight," Namjoon said to her his tone returning to how he started when he arrived "If it makes you fucking happier do it,"

"Why did you show up?" Y/n demanded as she walked up to him not caring about getting rained on, a part of Namjoon wanted to pull her back in the gazebo but he was frozen at the sight before him, just like how frozen he was in his place when she walked the aisle not less than 2 hours ago, "What made you think you could just show up?! Didn't you say you weren't going to be there? Did you finally muster up the courage to stop being god damned coward? You fucking bastard!" she yelled and cried, she was pushing him away from her over and over again, and Namjoon let her slam her fists on his chest repeatedly, but to his surprise she didn't hit him as hard as he thought she would. Gently grabbing her wrists, he wraps her arms around his torso pulling her close in a hug as he placed a hand behind her head and another one around her back. Y/n stiffened under his touch before she relaxed and quietly sobbed with her face on his coat, soaked in the rain and her tears.

Without any hesitation he places a kiss on the top of her head before gently holding her face with both hands and leaning down just so his lips were near hers, but he didn't move. Instead he waited for her, and when she finally understood why he didn't move and longingly stared at her lips, she did the one thing they've both been waiting for since they fell in love with each other in high school and finally, her lips met his. When Namjoon pulled away, resting his forehead on hers, he whispers to her "I'm never letting you go again. You're not going to get rid me that easily this time around," Y/n giggled as she leans up again for another kiss and Namjoon gladly kissed her back, finally tasting the lips he's been craving for so long.

Back in the car, the boys were giggling and smiling like high schoolers. Jungkook was still filming the entire thing and the audio surely caught all of their side comments and the noises they all made when they finally kissed for the first time.

"Now that," Jin pointed out his window, "Is better than any existing and upcoming dramas on TV,"

"Definitely," Yoongi smiled

"We finally don't have to deal with a grumpy Namjoon hyung," Taehyung sighed happily "Our world is finally at peace"

"You can't say that," Jungkook objected chuckling, "Now they're gonna get married and have kids, hyung. We're ginna have little Namjoons running around the office," Hobi laughed out loud, clapping as he did. Jimin stared at him with wide puppy eyes, "W-wait... But they're both clumsy," he pointed out, then he muttered to himself "that means their kids are gonna be... Aiiishh-"

Opening the window next to Hobi and pushing out most of his upper body out, not caring about the rain he yells out to the couple who we're smiling at each other through their tears that were getting mixed with the rain that was falling on them, "YA! YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING KIDS SOON, YOU IDIOTS!" this time tue other members laughter reached their ears, the car no longer soundproof because of the opened window. Namjoon looked back at his friend and he tightened his arms around Y/n, "I got bad news for you, Jimin-ah," he smiles "You might see them sooner than you think," this time along with the sound of laughter mainly Hobi's due to his reaction to Jimin's wide eyed look at the couple, joined a few sounds of complaints mainly from Yoongi and Jin who knew immediately that they can't say no if the time comes for them to be babysitters for Y/n's kids, but decided to give complaining a try if it means it will buy them time to mentally prepare for mini-me's of the middle child of Bangtan.

Namjoon ignores the other members and turns back around to the gazebo walking towards it with his hand still holding Y/n as they sit.

"You ruined my wedding," she muttered lamely while they were seated inside the gazebo, arms still around each other.

"We'll have a better one," he promised her "that's if you want one. I mean it, what I said; I'm not letting you go again. It was the biggest mistake I made, I'm not going to make that mistake again."

"A wedding with you? And if I don't want to be with you?" she says almost in a daring manner, her chin resting on his chest as she looks up at his face

"Move in with me or start a family with me, either way, be with me; be mine and I'll be yours" He says, and at that moment Y/n recalls the early morning they got drunk and how he called the gazebo their home "I just want to be with you, that's all I want. Stay with me, please" Y/n watched Namjoon's every move and if back then he was recklessly discussing marriage with her with no clue about what the future holds for them both. Now, he knows exactly what he wants and it's to marry her, spend his life with her.

After a beat, she smiles and pulls him in to press a kiss on his cheek.

"Is that a yes?"

"Only one way to find out, Namjoon-ah" she grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Epilogue anyone?🤣) Thank you for reading, please leave you feedback in the comments or send me an ask and please reblog if you enjoyed it.

Permanent taglist (always open) :

@lovergirl1316 @buttvi @borahae-reads @lemonadecandycandy @misshale21 @damn-u-min-yoongi @tattoomom11 @chimchimmarie @katskeigo

#bts #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #kim namjoon #rm x reader #bts rm #rm #namjoon #park jimin #min yoongi #suga #kim taehyung #jimin #jeon jungkook #jung hoseok #jungkook #kim seokjin #fic: all i want el #namjoon smut #bts x reader #bts x y/n

[astralpenguin]

self care is writing a fic that you’re literally the sole target audience for

#nobody was asking for a spn pmmm crossover fic focusing on claire at 14 #who by this point has already been manipulated into agreeing to something without knowing all the terms and conditions first #and it was awful and the worst day of her life #so when kyubey approaches her she doesn't go for it #but the people around her do and so claire gets to watch people she loves die horribly AGAIN #like there is nothing in spn canon that contradicts any of this #but literally nobody is wanting a fic like this to exist #nobody except for me #so i guess i have to do everything myself around here #el talks

[itsrydagain]

merry crimis

#bart allen #cassie sandsmark #conner kent #kon el #tim drake #yj98 #core four #rydsart #i disappeared for 2 months bc of work then came back with something stupid 😓 #this all started with me wanting to draw cassie and kon as santa and mrs claus;;;;;; #ik they saw santa die but imagine that this is their costumes for delivering presents #ala that one funny yj fic where they have to deliver presents bc santa is still dead #and this is just them taking photos post christmas delivery

[dreamofbecoming]

more stobin nonsense from your resident trash goblin. feat. shitty harrington parents, lavender marriage, full party found family shenanigans, steddie flirting, steve&will bonding, and a severe lack of dialogue tags

rating: t wc: 5k ao3

“I knew it!”

Steve sighs. Listen, he knew the minute he opened his mouth that this was coming. There was always a zero percent chance Dustin was ever gonna let him get out the whole thing before bursting in with this exact interruption, but that doesn’t make it less annoying. If the little shithead would just let him finish--

"I knew you were perfect together, I can't believe you didn't tell us you were dating! How long have you been a thing? I have money to collect! Can I be your best man? Never mind, obviously I'm gonna be your best man. You so owe me for not telling me sooner! I cannot believe-"

"Henderson!"

"What?"

"We're not together like that."

In fairness, Dustin is not the only one to give them an incredulous look for that one.

"Steve. You literally just announced you and Robin are getting married. What is even the point of pretending you're not in love anymore? What are you still trying to prove? Just admit I was right the whole time!"

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and forces himself to take a deep breath, instead of wringing Dustin's weird little boneless neck. It's not his fault, he reminds himself. They haven't gotten to the second part of the announcement, so his assumptions are natural.

Now, it is Henderson's fault that they haven't managed to say the rest of what they came here to say, so maybe he can keep blaming him after all.

"Do you remember when we sat down and we asked you guys to let us say everything we were gonna say without interrupting?"

"Uh, yeah dude, it was like ten minutes ago. We're not stupid."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe we weren't done saying everything we were gonna say, considering I was halfway through a sentence when you jumped in?"

"I mean, I guess, but like, it's pretty obvious where you're going with this, Steve. You're not a complicated guy, no offense. Now, where did we land on the best man issue?"

Nancy must see the offense very much taken on his face, because before he can open his mouth and say something probably horrifically rude that would feel amazing in the moment and which he would immediately regret, she jumps to his rescue.

"Dustin, you're being very rude. Steve and Robin came here to talk to us, and we promised to listen. Let them finish."

It's nice of her to back Steve up, considering how weird this conversation must be for her. Hopefully it gets less awkward soon.

Henderson grumbles mutinously, but years of dealing with first Mike and then the rest of the little dickheads have left Nancy's control ironclad, and he waves sarcastically for Steve to continue.

This kid is spending too much time with Eddie, the attitude is getting out of hand.

"Right. Thanks, Nance. As I was saying, Robin and I are getting married, yes. But not because we're in love. I mean, I love her, obviously, but as a friend. Only a friend. Or, well, I guess a friend and soon a...friend...wife? Frife? Wend? You guys get it."

"We very much don't." Alright, well, fine, add Max to the shitlist.

He looks over at Robin, hoping for help, but she's stiff as a board and trembling all over.

He doesn't want to be the one to say the words for her. They agreed together to tell everyone the truth, it was her idea even, but the last thing he wants to do is steal that moment from her.

Maybe he can just…talk around it, until she feels up to it. And if not, he’ll just tell them his part of it and call it good.

“We’re getting lavender married.”

Okay, so that’s probably not like. A normal way to say that or whatever. Robin just used that term like fifty times last night, alright? She was really excited about the article she just read about it, something about how it was a thing in, like, olden times or whatever, and now it’s coming back because Reagan is a fucking tool, Steve’s not sure, he was only kind of listening. Regardless, now it’s stuck in his head. Sue him or whatever, geez.

Anyway, he isn’t sure how many people in this room will actually understand what that means, but Nancy’s mouth drops open in a perfect little O the way it only does when she’s genuinely surprised by something, and there’s a tiny gasp from over by the table that he thinks might have come from Will, and Max mutters to herself “Oh shit, that explains so much,” so it’s not none of them, which helps. No pitchforks yet, at least.

Jonathan is eyeing him speculatively, and Argyle is offering him an enthusiastic thumbs up, which is nice.

Unfortunately, the other boys and El are giving him blank, expectant stares, and Erica is eyeing him with both confusion and annoyance, so it looks like he still has some explaining to do.

“What the hell does your color scheme have to do with this? I’m not helping plan the wedding, dude, I don’t care that much.”

Steve mumbles a “Language,” on reflex, but his heart isn’t in it. This is somehow more nerve-wracking than evil Russians.

“Mike, that’s not what it means. Now shut up and listen, or I’ll tell Mom how that red sock ended up in her load of white delicates.”

“Oh come on, she’ll kill me!” When all he gets in return is a single raised eyebrow, he groans and slumps further into his seat, glaring at Steve.

“Right. Okay. So basically, last night, my parents--”

“I’m a lesbian!”

There’s a beat of dead silence, which in this group is more unsettling than just about anything else.

Steve keeps his eyes on Robin, who looks just about as shocked at her own outburst as everyone else in the room. He takes her hand, squeezing gently until she unfreezes a little and looks back over at him. She looks terrified, and it breaks his heart a little.

“You okay, babe?” He keeps his voice low, murmuring just loud enough for her to hear. He knows this moment is the opposite of private, but she needs him to pretend for a second, so that’s what he’s gonna do.

She nods, a little jerkily, but she grips his hand back and intentionally evens out her breathing. She’s so fucking brave. He would burn the world down for Robin Buckley, and he doesn’t care who knows it.

He can’t believe she’s willing to do this for him, but he’s so grateful he feels like he’s choking on it.

“Henderdork will literally never shut up and let you live it down if we do this and he doesn’t know the truth. Not even for a single second for the rest of forever, and I, for one, am not putting up with that shit until death or legal marriage reforms do us part, Dingus.”

It was a solid point last night when they came up with the plan, curled on her bed while she stroked his hair and generously pretended he hadn’t soaked the shoulder of her shirt with his sobs, all his worldly possessions packed into a duffel on her bedroom floor, but he knows her insistence was more about knowing how much he hates lying to the kids than it was about protecting herself from irritating teenagers.

He doesn’t think there’s enough room on the whole planet to hold all the love he feels for her, even if you count the Upside Down and any other weirdo dimensions floating around out there waiting to ruin his day.

“I’m okay, bubba. Don’t let go?” Her hand is shaking in his, but he just squeezes harder.

“Never.” He turns back to the room, eyes hard as he scans the faces of their family for any hostility. He wouldn’t have agreed to this part of the plan if he thought any of them would be a problem, but he’s not taking anything for granted with Robbie’s safety. Not now, not ever. "Everyone's gonna be cool about that, right?"

"Of course we are, right, guys?" From the pained grunt that follows her words, Steve assumes Max has dug her elbow into Mike's ribs.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"I suppose this makes you slightly less lame, Buckley. It's definitely better than when I thought you liked this loser." Wow, okay, thank you Erica.

"Yeah totally! Thanks for trusting us, Robin." Lucas is a sweetheart, he really is. He's also glancing surreptitiously at Will while he nods enthusiastically, who is still staring open-mouthed at Robin with wide, shiny eyes.

"Yes, thank you for trusting us, Robin." Nancy is smiling kindly, but she's got that glint in her eye that Steve knows means she just came up with more questions and is waiting for the right moment to strike. Fair enough, at least she's letting Robs have her moment first.

He finally drags his eyes back to Dustin, who he doesn't really want to admit, even to himself, he's a little worried about. Not that he'll be shitty about it, necessarily, but there's nothing that brings out Henderson's bitchy side like being wrong, and he's been so fucking wrong this entire time. It's bound to upset him.

And maybe Steve will never say this out loud where the other kids might hear, but the truth is that Dustin's opinion matters to him more than just about everyone else's. Dustin was the first person in the whole world who saw Steve, the real Steve, and decided he was worth keeping around. If Henderson can't accept this part of Robin, it means he can't accept this part of Steve, and if that happens...if that happens Steve isn't sure he'll be able to come back from it.

So he's...not worried, okay? Worried is not the right word. Anxious, maybe. Concerned.

Okay fine fuck off he's worried.

Dustin...looks like he's about to cry. Shit.

"Did you think you couldn't trust me?" His voice is so small. Steve doesn't think he's ever heard it so small. It feels wrong. Henderson's voice should fill every room he's in, always. "You didn't have to lie. You could have told me the truth."

Aw, fuck.

"Buddy,--"

"It's not that simple, little man."

Steve whips back around to look at Robin. Are you sure you’re up for this? She purses her lips and narrows her eyes. Yeah, Dingus, this is my mess. Let me clean it up. Put the lance down, White Knight. Well, alright then. He waves for her to continue, ignoring the looks the others always shoot them when they do their silent conversation thing. Not his fault they can’t read each other as well, it’s not like it’s hard.

"Before today, Steve was the only person in the world who knew about me. And honestly, I don't know if I would have told him if we weren't both coming off torture and truth serum. I've worked hard to hide it my whole life, baby Dingus, that's not an easy thing to stop doing. It's scary."

"But we're your friends. We're your family! We saved the world together! You should trust your family, right?"

Aw, jeez. Steve forgets, sometimes, how young they are. They've been through horrific supernatural trauma, but they're still the kind of kids who think life is a story with a happy ending, like their little dragon game.

"Yeah, bud, you should, but it's not always that easy. There can be really serious consequences for telling the wrong person. Like, last night my parents found out I'm bisexual by accident and now I...well. Now I don't have parents anymore." Oof, okay, little blunter than he meant to be, but Robbie's getting anxious again so he has to take the focus back.

There's an eruption of sound, as every voice in the Party starts shouting all at once, turning the Wheeler's basement into Steve's own personal migraine generator.

"Did they kick you out?"

"You're bisexual?!"

"What's bisexual?"

"They can't just do that!"

"Does this mean we have to find somewhere else for Hellfire nights?"

That last one earns Erica several Looks, but she doesn't flinch. "What? I'm just being practical."

He wishes Eddie was here. The gremlins actually listen to him, unlike Steve, on account of as their Hellfire DM, he has leverage they care about to threaten them with. Well, most of them, but it's definitely a help when he's around.

Sadly he and Wayne are at some kind of Munson family reunion down in West Virginia this week, so Steve is gonna have to do this whole spiel over again when he gets back. He and Robin thought about waiting until he got back and the whole Party could be together, but the kids would definitely notice him not living in Loch Nora anymore pretty much immediately. And Steve hates the idea of telling him over the phone, so double coming out/engagement announcement it is.

"Alright, Jesus Christ, enough! One at a goddamn time, you animals."

He looks back at Dustin, who's definitely crying now. "Yeah, buddy, they kicked me out, but I'm okay. I'm staying with the Buckleys for now, and Rob and I have been saving up to move in together soon anyway, so all this did is move up our timeline. I'm safe and I'm fine, okay? I promise."

Dustin plasters himself to Steve's front, squeezing like he's worried Steve is going to shatter into pieces and he can hold him together by sheer force of will. It's very sweet, even if it's crushing his lungs a little.

"I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me." The words are muffled in Steve's chest, he's not sure anyone else heard him.

"Aw, kid, it's okay. I trust you, alright? Always. You die, I die, remember? I was just...figuring my shit out, that's all."

"Your parents are mouthbreathers." Steve chuckles a little at the mutinous glare on El's face, not pausing his hand where he's stroking Dustin's hair.

"You're not wrong, Supergirl. But it's fine, honestly. They've always been dicks, I've been planning to move out for a long time. They just...gave me the final push, is all." He's definitely leaving out the part where he broke down sobbing in Robbie's bed last night, asking her over and over why he was so broken that his own parents couldn't love him, but the kids don't need to hear that part of the story.

"Does this have something to do with your whirlwind engagement?" There she is, ace reporter Nancy Wheeler. Observant as always.

"Yeah, pretty much. They disinherited me, but they're still legally my next of kin."

"And Dingus has had far too much head trauma for me to trust he's not gonna end up back in the hospital for something at some point, and the last thing we need is Mr. and Mrs. von Child Neglect getting that call. And I was just reading about gay men and women who are marrying each other so they can have someone allowed in to see in them in the hospital, because of the virus, you know? And I thought, hey that's not a half bad idea! We're gonna be living together anyway, and it's not like I'm marrying anyone else, and it'll be good for both of us to have someone who knows about, y'know, monsters and all that jazz, to do our power of attorney stuff, so, voila! Mr. and Mrs. Bucklington!"

"We are not changing our name to Bucklington."

"Well Harringley is worse, so suck it up, buttercup."

"I'm not interested in keeping the Harrington name, Bobs, I'd rather just be a Buckley."

"Aw, bubba, you're gonna make me cry!"

"You should both become Hendersons! Then we'd really be brothers!"

Steve erupts into laughter, the tension effectively broken by Dustin's wide, toothy grin. "What d'ya say, Bobbie? Steve and Robin Henderson?"

"Would we get access to Claudia's lasagna recipe? Because if so, I'm behind this plan one hundred percent.”

"By 'we' you do mean me, right? Because I love you more than life, Bobs, but I'm not letting you anywhere near a casserole dish. I've learned that lesson."

"It was one time!"

"It took me three days to get all the cheese off the ceiling! There's still a stain!"

"Well good! Ceiling grease stains can be the Harrington's problem now, anyway. They deserve it!"

Argyle is nodding sagely from on top of the incredibly deflated bean bag he's sharing with Jonathan. "I do like Bucklington, it makes you sound like a fancy butler. But family is important, brochachos, and so is lasagna. I vote Henderson."

This spurs impassioned arguments from all corners, which Steve is more than happy to relax into the couch cushions and let wash over him.

There's a light, bubbly feeling in his chest. For the first time since his dad walked in unannounced yesterday, interrupting his phone call with Robin at the worst possible moment, the knot of fear and grief in his stomach starts to loosen.

Robin smiles at him, and he grins helplessly back. Who needs parents when he's got a soulmate? They're together, they're safe, they're surrounded by their family. Steve holds Dustin tighter to his side and lets himself feel loved.

He takes advantage of a lull in the Last Name Wars to get out the last of the speech he'd planned. "Anyway, we decided to tell all of you the truth when we came up with this plan last night, because we do trust you and we didn't want to lie to you, and also because we knew you shitheads would never shut up about us being in love if we didn't and that sounded awful."

He laughs delightedly at the chorus of indignant outbursts this gets him before continuing.

"It's really important that you don't tell anyone outside the Party the truth, alright? We're gonna tell Eddie when he gets back, and we might tell Joyce and Hop eventually, but that needs to be our choice to do. You can't do it for us, and you absolutely can't tell anyone else. The whole point of this is to keep us safe by keeping people from finding out the truth, okay?"

El looks vaguely uncomfortable, but not upset. "Will you tell my Dad soon?"

Steve glances at Robbie, who's looking anxious again, and then over at Will. His shoulders are tense, hunched up around his ears, and he's staring intently at the table in front of him.

Steve isn't sure if anyone else knows what he thinks he knows about Will, but he's pretty sure he recognizes the specific flavor of isolation he can see Will struggling with sometimes, and he's definitely sure he recognizes the looks Will shoots at Mike whenever Wheeler isn't looking. Tommy used to look at him like that.

Either way, he knows the kind of fear the kid must be suffering, just like he knows how terrifying today was for Robin. For Steve, the worst case scenario has already happened, so he has a lot less left to lose. He can afford to smooth the way a little, to test the waters and make sure they're safe for everyone else.

It's not that different from his normal role in this group anyway, just a different kind of monster. He's always been good at taking hits so the others don't have to-- this is just another threat to step in front of.

"Tell you what, Ellie, I'll talk to Hop and Joyce this weekend, that way you won't have to keep secrets from him for too long. I'll just tell him about me, though, at first, okay? That way we'll know if it's safe for Robbie." Or anyone else, he doesn't say.

Jonathan hears it, at the very least, and shoots him a look that's equal parts surprised and grateful. Maybe Will has someone else in his corner after all, then.

El nods happily, satisfied with that.

Before anyone else can jump in, there's a clattering on the basement stairs. None of them have time to tense up too badly before the door bursts open and Eddie comes tumbling through it in a flurry of dark curls and frayed denim.

"Fear not, my wayward wastrels, for I have returned from far off lands, bearing tidings and the promise of libations!"

Steve only recognizes, like, four of those words, but seeing Eddie gives him the same happy, fizzy feeling in his gut that it always does these days, so he grins.

"You're back early, Eds, everything ok?"

Eddie blinks at him, then around the room, looking surprised to see it so packed.

"Yeah, my cousin Clarence accidentally broke my MeeMaw's pasture fencing and set all the goats loose in the hills, and if we stuck around we were gonna have to help round them back up, so Wayne and I snuck out early. I was coming to invite the gremlins out for pizza to tell you all about it, but this is more people than I was expecting. Y'all having a family meeting? Without little old moi?"

Steve valiantly suppresses the shiver that the twang in Eddie's voice triggers. Steve's not sure if Eddie notices the way his accent gets stronger when he's been talking to family, but he's had to work very hard to make sure he doesn't notice the way it affects Steve.

Steve has barely tested the flirting waters with Eddie since admitting his crush to Robin, he's definitely not jumping right in with 'It makes me tingly all over when you start talking with a drawl, wanna call me darlin' and see what happens?'

Luckily Bobbie notices his inner struggle and comes to his rescue.

"It was kind of a time sensitive issue- not a life or death one! Or like. Not a monster one, anyway. But shit went down last night and we needed to brief everyone before the geek squad figured out something was funky and came beating down the door. Steve wanted to tell you in person so we were gonna wait til you got back, but here you are!"

Eddie's looking at Robin with an amused smile on his face, one eyebrow raised and his lips quirked in a lopsided grin that is, frankly, unreasonably attractive. "Here I am indeed, my fair Lady of Feathers. So what's the scoop?"

He plops down next to Jonathan and Argyle on the beanbags, nearly sending them all toppling before Argyle hooks both of them around the waists and drags them practically into his lap.

Steve is not seething with jealousy. He's not.

A half a dozen voices chime out all at once.

"Robin's gay!"

"Steve's homeless."

"Robin and Steve are getting married!"

“Purple married.”

“It’s lavender, dummy.”

“Lavender’s a kind of purple!”

"They're gonna be Hendersons!"

"No they aren't, weirdo, they're gonna be Buckleys."

"Bucklington is clearly the superior choice, even if Argyle was right about the butler thing."

“Bucklington my ass, y’all dumb as hell if you think Mom and Dad aren’t gonna try and make him a Sinclair after this.”

"Mama and Papa Harrington didn't like that Stevie boy has double the love to give. Totally bogus. Bi bros for life, man."

"I still call Steve's best man!"

Eddie blinks a little when everyone quiets down, looking vaguely shellshocked. "That was. A lot of information to get in thirty seconds."

And, listen, Steve is like, 97% sure Eddie's cool. More than cool, even. He moves that bandana to the same pocket every time he changes his jeans, no matter what outfit he's wearing. There's no way that's an accident. But if Steve is being totally honest, which he's trying to do more these days, at least inside his own brain, this is maybe not the way he'd have chosen to come out to his crush. It's somehow way more nerve-wracking when he didn't even get to say it himself.

Oh well, it's out there now. It's fine, probably.

Still, there’s a definite feeling of relief when Eddie turns that megawatt grin on him again.

"Man, I wish I'd known there were other queers in Hawkins, I might have listened sooner when Henderson told me how cool you guys were!"

Steve laughs, only a little hysterically. "Dude, if you thought you were the only one, what the hell have you been wearing that hanky for? Who are you hoping will see it?"

It's a little gratifying to see Eddie go flaming tomato red in seconds. "I am not talking about that in mixed company, Steven. There are children here!"

"Ugh, we're literally teenagers."

"Tiny baby infants! If you're so curious, you can ask me again later."

"Promise?" Steve can't stop himself from grinning wolfishly.

Eddie tugs his hair in front of his face to hide, and the frantic little giggle and the quiet "Oh my god," he lets out both sound more than a little strangled. Steve's having the time of his life right now.

"Gross." Ugh, rude. He glares at Robin for ruining his fun. She sticks her tongue out at him.

Before they can devolve into the inevitable slapfight, Nancy cuts in again.

"Alright, unless anyone else has anything to share in private, I think we should take Eddie's suggestion and get something to eat." Good thinking, Nance. "To celebrate the happy couple, of course," she adds with a smirk. Yeah, that makes more sense.

"Onward then, my noble companions, to pizza and to paradise!" Eddie vaults off the beanbag, sending Jonathan and Argyle tumbling. Argyle laughs and accepts Eddie's hand up, while Jonathan just rolls his eyes good-naturedly.

Eddie slings an arm around Robin's shoulders as they head for the basement door. "So, Birdie, what's this I hear about a wedding? I need context."

As the kids go thundering up the stairs, arguing about who gets to drive in which car, Steve lingers. He noticed Will hanging back from the others, and now they're the last ones left, Will still slowly packing up the pens and notebooks he seems to carry around with him everywhere. Jonathan is hovering anxiously in the doorway, so Steve sends him a nod and waves him off. He's got this.

"You ready to go, kid?"

Will fidgets with the zipper on his bag for another few seconds before looking up at Steve through his, frankly tragic, fringe. "I'm sorry your parents suck."

"Yeah, man, me too." Steve shoots him a wry little smile. "It's alright though, sometimes we're better off without them. I've got plenty of family here that love me, I'll survive without Richard and Diane."

Will studies him for a minute. Steve's not sure what he's looking for, but he hopes he finds it.

"That's what Jonathan says about Lonnie." Steve nods, trying not to wince at the memory of the things he spat at Jonathan that day in '83 when everything changed. "I used to think it was my fault he left, but Jonathan says he was just a bastard, and it's better he's gone anyway."

"I didn't know Lonnie," he's careful not to say your dad, "but from what I've heard, Jonathan's probably right. And he's definitely right that it's not your fault."

"Like it's not your fault your parents kicked you out?"

"Yeah, exactly like that. If it was my fault, that would mean I did something wrong. The only thing I did was exist, and be different than they thought I would be. If they can't love the kid they had, then they shouldn't have had a kid at all. That's their problem, not mine. There's nothing wrong with me."

It doesn't matter if he heard all of these things from Robin first, if he's still trying to learn to believe them. Will needs to hear them like they're true, the same way Steve does.

"Are you sure?" Will's voice is trembling now. He's looking at the floor, but Steve can tell there are tears coming. "How can you be sure this is how you're supposed to be? Wouldn't you rather be normal?"

Oh, kid. "I mean, yeah, maybe it would be easier if I only liked girls, but I don't. I tried for a long time to pretend that I did, but it didn't make it true. And yeah, part of me wants to hate myself, because that's what they taught me to think, and I still kinda wish doing that would make them love me, but it won't. But honestly, you wanna know the biggest thing?" Will nods.

"I can't hate that part of myself without hating Robin, and there's no universe where I could hate Robin. Robin's perfect. She's the best person in the world, and she's gay, so being gay can't be bad. It's impossible. So whenever that voice in my head starts saying shitty things to me, I just think about how much I love Robin and tell it to shut up."

There's a beat where Will seems to be absorbing this.

"How did you know it would be safe? To tell us the truth?"

"I didn't."

Will stares at him in shock.

"Not a hundred percent, anyway. I was pretty sure, but it's never a guarantee with stuff like this, you know? But the other option was never telling anyone, and that...it gets tiring, you know? Always having to hide. Always having to check yourself. Lying when people ask the wrong questions. It wears you down. And I've fought monsters with you guys. I've been tortured by spies with you guys. If I can't trust this group to have my back, I can't trust anyone, can I? And I didn't want to live a life of not trusting anyone. I didn't want Bobbie to live a life like that. So, we took a chance. And it paid off, because all of you are the people we thought you were, and we were right to trust you. But it was a leap of faith, dude. It always is."

"What if I'm not ready?" Fucking shit, this kid. He's been through more than any of them, except maybe El, and he's still so goddamn brave. Steve would have crumpled like a tin can in his place.

"Then you're not ready. It's not a test, Will. There's no right or wrong answers. But I will say that every single person out there loves you, and they'll keep loving you no matter what you do. They're not like my parents, or Lonnie. Our friends aren't broken inside the way they are. Their love isn't conditional. You won't chase them away. You couldn't if you tried."

Will lets out a shaky breath, clearly fighting back tears. Steve leans against the table and keeps his head down, offering the kid the illusion of privacy while he pulls himself together. After a few minutes he speaks up again.

"You ready to go, you think?"

Will nods. He goes to walk past Steve to the stairs before hesitating and, to Steve's surprise, wrapping his gangly arms around him in an awkward hug.

"Thanks, Steve," he mumbles into Steve's shoulder.

Steve runs a hand down his back uncertainly. "Anytime, kid."

He keeps his arm around Will's shoulders tentative, but when the kid doesn't shrug him off or move away, he lets it settle more firmly, tugging him closer.

“Come on Baby Byers, let's go get some pizza. You think I can milk the disownment thing to get Eddie to pay for extra toppings?"

Will snorts. "I think Eddie would pay for as many toppings as you want as long as you do that little eyelash thing at him again."

Steve throws his head back and laughs, long and loud from his belly. Yeah, it's gonna be a good night.

my head hurts too much to keep writing this but please know that the pizza parlor engagement party involves plenty of arguing about roles in the wedding party, resulting in MOH erica/best man dustin (scoops troop babeyy), flower girl team lumax (max demanded the role bc her wheelchair means she can carry extra baskets of petals, and lucas will be pushing the chair so her hands are free. he's just excited to be there.) nancy/el bridesmaids and byler groomsmen (mike grumbles and groans but he's secretly thrilled). jonathan does the pictures and it turns out argyle got ordained back in cali as a joke so he officiates. eddie plays crimson and clover for robin’s wedding march. there’s a bit of a kerfuffle when claudia and the sinclairs both try to claim steve as their son, but after someone makes the argument that charles and sue have two kids to carry their name while claudia only has one, they end up hyphenating and becoming the buckley-hendersons. yes, claudia cries. yes, they get the lasagna recipe.

(at the pizza place, eddie asks what his role will be and steve says he doesn't know yet, but he'll save him a dance regardless. eddie has to hide in the bathroom to stop blushing.)

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #platonic stobin #dustin henderson #will byers #eddie munson #appalachian eddie munson #the party #not tagging everyone bc i don't want to clog character tags but the gang's all here #inklings of steddie #for what it’s worth i’m firmly in the camp of ‘will is out to el so she knows about gay people’ #the stobin lavender marriage fic #almost #the pre-stobin lavender marriage fic is more accurate #this is mostly a coming out to the party fic #idk i had fun with it #but my head hurts and tags are hard #happy reading i'm going to sleep #my writing

[clambuoyance]

“But do I have a soul?”

“Of course you do.”

#girl help I was just looking for refs for a comic slash fic and went insane #dc #kon el #Conner kent #kontent #superboy #I COULD ADD SO MUCH #anyways smth smth i think experiencing life and making friends and loving them with everything you have is what life is all about personally #it’s about love #in my head or if I were to make a show his arc of losing that ego and immaturity would be directly tied to him wanting to be more protective #coughs can u tell I’m a Kai stan

[trensu]

okay, so it turns out that the hawkins halfway house fic is going to have six chapters, actually. i'm not gonna post anything on ao3 until i have the final chapter done. i'm currently working on that sixth chapter, but here's the rest of chapter five in the meantime.

Continued from here

-

The man chuckled goodnaturedly. “Didn’t say you were. What’s your name, son?”

“Steve,” he replied. The man chuckled again.

“Thought so,” the man said. At Steve’s questioning gaze, he shrugged nonchalantly. “You look like a Steve. I’m Wayne. Why don’t you come inside? The kids made a batch of lemonade earlier today and there’s a phone you can use to call a tow.”

Which was how Steve found himself seated at a dining table that seemed too large to fit in the room even though he and Wayne were clearly able to move around the place without crowding one another. Maybe the table looked bigger than it was because of the multiple frosty pitchers of various sizes haphazardly lined up on it. Each one seemed almost dangerously full. Steve was sure one unexpected bump would turn them into a river of lemonade.

“That’s…a lot of lemonade,” Steve commented.

“A couple of the kids’ friends are visiting,” Wayne said. “We don’t see them very often. One of them learned a new trick to keep things cold. He was only going to do one pitcher, of course, but you know how kids are. Everyone wanted to make their own lemonade and told Will he had to do it again for each one.”

Wayne used a potholder to grab the handle of the nearest pitcher of lemonade. If Steve didn’t know any better, he’d say the pitcher was coated by ice half an inch thick. Obviously the pitcher had to be made of fancy decorative glass like the kind his mother would’ve bought. Wayne poured two glasses of lemonade, handing one to Steve which he took gratefully. Wayne eased himself into one of the chairs. Steve joined him. He drank half the glass before asking.

“So where are the grandkids you’ve been chasing? The house seems pretty quiet for that many children,” Steve nodded at the series of pitchers.

“They’re not my grandkids. I’m not as lucky as all that,” Wayne said. “I’m just here to lend a hand where I can.”

“A volunteer? Is this like a daycare?” Steve asked, trying not to seem too eager. This could be something. It wouldn’t be parenthood, but maybe he could volunteer to help kids in some small way. He’ll have to look into that later. Robin would help him find something, he’s positive.

“...you could say that, I suppose. As for your other question, they’re all out back, probably in the woods burning off energy with some of the grown-ups supervising.”

“Well, I’ll try to be out of your hair before they come back,” Steve stood, taking both of their glasses to the sink and rinsing them out. He waved Wayne away when he protested about guests doing chores. “If you could tell me where your phone is to call a tow truck, you don’t have to get up.” 

“Son, I don’t need no mollycoddling,” Wayne said gruffly. Steve flushed.

“No, that’s not–I didn’t mean–” Except he did. Wayne had been out in the heat and sun with him for who knows how long, risking heat exhaustion for a total stranger. It was also evident in the way he moved that he had some joint pain, particularly in the knees. Steve sighed. “Heat exhaustion is no joke. I used to be a lifeguard, it can get pretty bad for, uh, people of your age group.”

“You’re as bad as my boy, I can already tell,” Wayne said. “Thank god Eddie’s out there with the kids or he’d give me a talking to, as if he had a leg to stand on. I’m able to get around just fine without anyone’s hovering.”

“Uncle Wayne,” a soft solemn voice interrupted. Steve jumped when he saw a kid at the dining room entrance. He hadn’t heard anyone approaching.

“Jesus,” Steve muttered to himself. “Pay attention, Steve.”

The kid had shorn dark hair and big eyes. They wore a dress that looked like it’d been owned by at least two kids previously, and a pair of old light-up sneakers. They held a cane in their hands.

“Well, hey there, little miss,” Wayne greeted jovially. “Do you need anything, El?”

“You forgot your cane,” El said each word carefully. She walked up to Wayne, leaned the cane against the dining table, and held his large hand in her two small ones, as if to reassure him. “Let Steve help. He is nice. Dustin said so.”

El must have him confused with some other Steve she knew, but damn if that wasn’t the cutest thing he’d ever seen. By the way Wayne smiled at her, he seemed to agree. He heaved a big sigh, as if relenting was a big favor he was granting her, and accepted the cane.

“Fine, fine, but only because a sweet young lady asked me, too,” he said. El grinned which lit up her previously somber face. “Why aren’t you outside with the others?”

“Too much sun,” she said. “Hurts.”

Steve could sympathize. Too much sunlight sometimes triggered migraines that would knock him down for an entire day, or more if he was unlucky. El looked a bit putout she wasn’t outside with the others.

"Sometimes, it’s better to stay inside when it’s like this. There’s always something fun to do indoors, too," Steve said.

“There sure is,” Wayne agreed. “Weren’t you practicing your braiding? Why don’t you bring your doll over, and you can show us how to do it.”

While El went to find her toy, Wayne showed Steve where they kept the phone. However, they were having some difficulty getting a call to actually connect. Steve tried the number for the towing company, the bookstore he and Robin worked at, and his own home phone to no avail. After the third attempted call ended with Steve nearly slamming the phone into its base, Wayne picked up the phone and listened to it for a moment before dialing a number. After a bit, he hung up the phone much more gently than Steve had.

“House is acting strange. I’ll ask Eddie to look into that. Or maybe Jeff. I think it likes him better, but don’t tell Eddie that,” Wayne said. “I can give you a ride home if you need it, once everyone’s back.”

“Thanks, Wayne,” Steve said with a rundown sigh. “I might have to take you up on that.”

By then, El had returned with a couple of long haired dolls. Once the three of them had settled in the spacious living room, El handed Steve one of the dolls.

“Uncle Wayne knows how, but it hurts his hands,” El explained why she only brought two instead of three dolls. Wayne grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘didn’t raise no narc.’ Steve suppressed a smile and tried to match El’s seriousness. “It is important to know how. I can show you.”

When Steve Harrington was in high school, he not only had the title of king, but had also gotten dubbed ‘The Hair.’ Steve earned that nickname for a reason. He had hair care down to an art. One of his favorite things to do with his various ex-girlfriends was helping them with their hair. All that to say, Steve knew how to braid hair. Steve knew how to braid hair in multiple different ways. 

There was not enough money in the world to get him to tell that to the little girl very patiently instructing him at that very moment. In fact, he made sure to fumble a couple of times so that El had the opportunity to correct him. She patiently did, each time, until Steve finished a braid to her satisfaction.

“You did it,” she beamed at him when they had accomplished a single braid.

“I had a fantastic teacher,” Steve nudged her, making her giggle. “Are you going to grow out your hair so you can have braids, too?”

“I do not know. Can hair do other things?” El asked. 

Steve reminded himself he was speaking to a child and should not go on with his detailed hair care lecture that Robin constantly made fun of him for; though, Steve liked to point out, it never stopped Robin from following his instructions. Steve claimed all the credit for her excellent hair, regardless of Robin’s indignant protests.

“Well, it depends on what kind of hair you have. Do you have straight hair or curly hair?” Steve asked.

“I have not decided yet.”

“I’m not sure that’s something you can decide, honey,” Steve said gently. 

“I can,” El replied simply. “Which is better?”

“Both kinds are good in their own way,” Steve said. “But I like curly hair. Curls are cool.”

“Curls are…cool?” El paused in thought and nodded to herself. “Yes. Dustin and Eddie have curly hair. I think they are cool.”

“I don’t think I’ve met them, but yeah, their curls are probably very cool.” 

El’s brows furrowed in concentration for a moment. Her short hair started to grow, as quick as a videotape on fast-foward, into dark ringlets. They continued to grow until they reached past her chin. She pulled one of them in front of her face, studying it, and letting it spring back in place. She looked up at Steve with a shy but proud smile.

“Curls are cool,” she said.

“Um.” Steve’s brain stuttered. He looked over to Wayne, who sat there watching them placidly as if nothing had happened. “Y-Yeah. Like that. Cool, very cool.”

“Did I do it wrong?” El said, curling in on herself as she took in Steve’s no doubt panicked expression. “Human hair is supposed to grow. Jeff told me.”

“That’s right,” Wayne said gently. “It grows like that but a lot slower. I’m sure Steve can explain. How often do you get your hair cut?”

“Uh,” Steve swallowed, trying to ignore his jangling nerves in the face of Wayne’s calm demeanor. “Um. Every–every few weeks. But, uh, R-Robin, my friend, likes hers longer and goes once a year, I-I think.”

“A year is a very long time,” El said quietly. She had shrunken her posture even smaller, eyeing Steve apologetically. “I am sorry I scared you. I did not mean to.”

She sounded so guilty and nervous, it sent a pang through Steve’s heart. She was a little girl who had been nothing but sweet the entire visit and Steve was freaking out over…what? Fast growing hair? Ridiculous.

“It’s alright,” Steve said, forcing more confidence into his voice than he felt. “I’m the one that reacted badly, so I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better.”

Out of the corner of his eye, a tension he hadn’t even noticed loosened from Wayne’s shoulders. Wayne’s grip on his cane relaxed, too. It struck Steve that if he had reacted aggressively, he had no doubt that Wayne would’ve put a stop to it one way or another.

“It’s okay. I understand,” El said, patting his arm as if she’d seen someone do it once but hadn’t had the chance to try it herself. Delicately but with intent. “Mike says humans are…scaredy-cats. That means you get scared easy.” She paused and her brow furrowed. “I do not know why there are cats. You do not look like a cat.”

At El’s earnest confusion, all of Steve’s pent up nerves and fear popped like a balloon into a fit of giggles that were only slightly off kilter. El let out a few shy giggles, too, and the last of the tension left Wayne as he relaxed back into his armchair completely.

“I really don’t,” Steve agreed. “But I like cats a lot.”

El lit up.

“Dustin is sometimes a cat!” she told him excitedly. She cupped her hands as if holding something little. “He is a very small cat.”

Yeah, Steve thought, sure. Why not have a boy turn into a cat with a girl who could fast-forward hair growth? Steve planned to get himself a drink later tonight. He thought he handled this pretty well, all things considered. He deserved a reward.

–

The three of them were playing the tamest game of Uno Steve had ever played in his life when he heard shouting. Wayne sighed a long-suffering sigh that was belied by a fond grin.

"Here comes trouble," Wayne said. El giggled in response. Steve took the opportunity to put down a draw four card for Wayne. Wayne took notice and scowled at Steve. Steve gave him his best innocent look but the effect was ruined by the sound of the front door slamming open.

"HOUSE!" a man shouted. "What the hell? Are you proud of yourself? Are you pleased? You made small children walk for an extra hour out in the blazing sun!"

The shouting was accompanied by stomping footsteps and exaggerated huffing and puffing. Laughter rang all the way through to the living room as children reacted to the dramatics. El brightened at the sound and quickly abandoned the card game to run to the foyer. The loud man seemed to take the kids’ laughter as encouragement. 

"More importantly, you made me walk an extra hour, House! These boots were not made for walking. Hey, El! Do these boots look like they’re for walking?"

“No,” El laughed.

"Maybe you should've worn tennis shoes instead, like I told you," a woman's voice pitched in.

"Don't know what you’re whining about," another man added. "I'm the one who had to carry Erica for, like, ten blocks."

"Hey, this is not my fault! None of this would've happened if House hadn't decided to move somewhere else without bringing us along!" the first man protested.

“I’m telling Nancy you got us lost,” a boy said petulantly.

“Not if you ever want to hang out with us again you won’t,” grumbled the first man in response. Then he called out, “Uncle Wayne, you in here?”

“Living room,” Wayne called back as he drew four cards to continue their game of Uno, despite the disappearance of their third player.

“Uncle Wayne!” a chorus of children’s voices rang. Soon, a horde of kids tumbled into the room.

A white boy with curly hair and a black boy both cried out excitedly when they saw who was in the living room. “Steve!”

Steve blinked in surprise. How did these kids recognize him? Had they seen him working in the bookstore? Steve was pretty sure he hadn’t seen either of them in the store before. 

The two other boys with them didn’t recognize him. They were both frighteningly pale, though in slightly different ways. The kid with the bowl-cut carried a blue tint in the skin around his lips, eyes, and fingertips in a way that made Steve shiver with a sudden chill. The other boy’s skin held a gray pallor that reminded Steve uncomfortably of corpses.

“This is Steve?” the boy with the blue-tinted skin asked curiously.

“This is Steve?” the gray boy echoed in a much more unimpressed tone.

“Steve?” Steve heard coming from the hallway. It sounded like the shouting man.

“Shit,” the curly haired boy said. The other boy shoved him.

“Way to go, doofus,” he said with a scowl.

“Hey! You said his name, too!”

“Yeah, said. Not shouted.”

“We said it at the same volume!”

“No we didn’t!”

“Have we met?” Steve tried to interrupt the bickering. His question went unheard under the boys’ loud voices. 

Before he could ask again, a man entered the living room and Steve’s mouth went dry at the sight of him. He was gorgeous. Rangy but firm, with a headful of dark curls that made Steve think of swirling schools of fish. His eyes were big and dark like seabeds. He wore a black sleeveless shirt with some sort of band logo on it. It was worn thin, and damp with sweat. The man glared at him like he wanted to flay him alive.

“You,” the man hissed. 

“Eddie,” Wayne said. Eddie whipped his gaze to where Wayne sat, unconcerned, in the armchair.

“Is that his car outside?” Eddie asked shortly. “How is he here?”

“Ed, calm down,” Wayne said.

“He shouldn’t be here,” Eddie growled. 

“I think he should,” Wayne said with a calm shrug. 

“Me, too!” the curly haired boy piped up.

“Children’s opinions do not count in this conversation,” Eddie snapped. “All of you, get to your rooms. Chrissy–”

“She took the girls upstairs the second you started your hissy fit,” a handsome man interrupted as he joined them in the living room. Steve vaguely recognized him from the bar he and Robin stumbled across months ago. Jeff, maybe? The word Jeffathan popped up in his mind, which was absurd. 

“Take that back, Jeffiam. I do not throw hissy fits,” Eddie said in a tone that Steve personally thought verged hissy fit territory. He chose not to offer up that particular thought to the conversation happening around him. Also, Jeffiam? What on earth? Jeff rolled his eyes.

“Sure,” Jeff said in a way that clearly stated disagreement. “C’mon, boys. We’ll let Eddy and Uncle Wayne figure things out with Steve.”

A series of loud complaints rose up. It almost distracted Steve from how odd Eddie’s name sounded when Jeff said it.

“You guys can stay up an extra hour past bedtime if you come along without fighting,” Jeff said.

The gray boy whooped and ran off the moment the words left Jeff’s lips, with the blue boy close at his heels. The two boys that recognized Steve shot him apologetic looks but chased after their friends with no other complaints. Jeff gave Eddie a stern look. 

“Think this through before doing anything, Eddy,” Jeff said, before turning on his heel and leaving.

That left only Steve, Eddie, and Wayne in the living room that was almost painfully quiet now that El and the other children were gone. Wayne looked as peaceable as ever, but Eddie more than made up for it with the glare that had not let up since he saw Steve. 

Steve had questions. A lot of questions. He couldn’t even begin to articulate his questions. His car broke down though there wasn’t anything wrong with it; the phone in the house wouldn’t connect his calls; a little girl grew her hair at will; there was possibly a child who could transform into a small cat; an entire building seemingly relocated without anyone noticing; and somehow, despite the impossibility of those things, all of it felt almost familiar.

“What is going on?”

“Why are you here?”

Steve and Eddie spoke simultaneously, though Steve’s words came out incredulous and Eddie’s were angry as hell. Wayne watched them both warily. He didn’t interject.

“I didn't come here on purpose,” Steve said defensively. He didn’t owe this man any explanation, he thought irritably, but Wayne had been so kind to him the whole time. Steve didn’t want to pick a fight with his nephew. “I was going grocery shopping and my car broke down. Your uncle was nice enough to let me use the phone but it didn’t work, otherwise I would’ve been long gone.”

“The phone works fine,” Eddie sniffed. “House just doesn’t like you.”

Wayne snorted.

“The problem is the other way around and you’re being too stubborn to see it, Ed. His car worked fine when I was behind the wheel.”

“You got into the car with him?” Eddie asked, aghast. “Uncle Wayne, stranger danger!”

“I am not a child, Eddie.” Wayne rolled his eyes, which seemed to happen a lot around Eddie. Steve thought about how Wayne had gripped his cane in that tense moment after El’s hair trick, and the way he had eyed him during it.

“I’m pretty sure he can take care of himself,” Steve muttered. Eddie puffed up like an angry cat, indignant at the comment.

“Nobody asked you,” Eddie snapped.

“Alright, what the f–” Steve paused, remembering there were children in the house, and course-corrected. “What the heck is your problem with me, man? You’re acting like I insulted your mother or something, but I’d remember you if we’d met before and we haven’t.”

Even as he said that, Steve couldn’t be sure that was true. A sense of familiarity lingered doggedly at the edges of his mind. Eddie’s beauty was breathtaking but it didn’t feel new. 

“Don’t take it personally, Steve,” Eddie sneered. “I don’t like any humans.”

Wayne coughed.

“You don’t count, Uncle Wayne, you’re a god amongst men,” Eddie said without missing a beat. For a brief moment, Wayne smiled crookedly at his nephew.

“You’re not human?” Steve asked, looking Eddie over more closely. He didn’t look inhuman. Then again, neither did El and she proved she wasn’t human pretty easily.

“Nope!” Eddie said with a mean sort of cheeriness. “But it doesn’t matter because you won’t remember any of this.”

Eddie started to hum a tune that muffled Steve’s mind. It was a beautiful song coming from the beautiful man, and Steve wanted to give him anything, everything, he wanted.

“Steve,” Eddie said his name like a song. “I want you to for–”

“Eddie Munson, that’s enough,” Wayne’s sharp tone cut through the hum in Eddie’s words.

The enchanting tune stopped abruptly. The absence left Steve reeling, like his mind was not fully connected to his body. He didn’t like it. Steve couldn’t tell if he wanted the song back or to never hear it again.

“This man has done nothing but be sweet to the kids,” Wayne said. “How many times has he shown up now?”

“It doesn’t mat–”

“Yes it does and you know it,” Wayne interrupted. “Twice with Jeff’s card and this is the second time House moved to find him.”

“But–”

“Dustin went missing for days looking for him, Eddie. You’re being stubborn and that put Dustin in more danger than Steve has so far.”

Eddie’s mouth audibly snapped shut at that declaration.  Eddie jerked back as if struck. A broken musical sound escaped his throat unthinkingly, and it sent a lance of pain through Steve’s heart. Steve wanted to do something to erase that pain from Eddie’s face, but his mind still hadn’t quite gathered itself. His tongue felt heavy and clumsy in his mouth.

“I understand why, Eddie. You’re not wrong to be cautious,” Wayne said. “But what was the point of getting House if you’re not going to trust it?”

Eddie blinked rapidly, eyes red-rimmed. He didn’t look at Wayne. Eddie’s fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. Then his shamed expression shifted into one of steely resolution. He stalked towards Steve. It would’ve been frightening if Steve had had his wits about him. Cool hands cupped Steve’s face and all he could see was deep, dark eyes he wanted to drown in.

“I don’t know how long it’ll take House to find you again,” Eddie said, and the music in his words was gentler than before. It kept Steve’s mind calm. “But I need you to leave.”

“Eddie,” Wayne said. 

The song strengthened to override the interruption. Steve wanted to kiss Eddie. He’d do anything Eddie asked for a kiss.

“Steve, will you be a good boy for me?” Eddie asked.

“Yes,” Steve gasped. He wanted to be so good for Eddie.

“Today is going to feel like a dream,” Eddie said.

“Nice dream,” Steve murmured hazily. A flicker of a smile from Eddie made his stomach swoop pleasantly.

“Yeah, a nice dream,” Eddie said. “You have to leave me now, but I’m going to miss you so much, Steve.”

Steve whimpered. He didn’t want to leave if it would hurt Eddie. He tried to lean forward, to press his forehead against Eddie’s and promise him his life if it would make that smile come back. Eddie's cool hands held him firmly in place.

“Listen to me. I’ll be so sad with you gone, so you’ll come back to me, won’t you? Come back to me in two days, Stevie. Promise me?”

“Promise,” Steve mumbled. “Two days. I’ll come back. I will.”

“I know you will. Now, go and I’ll be ready when you come back to me.”

–

The next thing Steve knew, he was in the parking lot of the grocery store and it was much later in the day than Steve had originally planned. As frustrating as the car trouble had been, Steve couldn’t regret the loss of time. Wayne was such a nice guy to have helped him fix his car and his nephew was gorgeous. His good old Harrington charm still worked like a dream because he got an invitation to visit again in a couple of days. He could scope out the nephew and see if there was maybe a chance for some romance in his future. 

He might as well try, since he had no luck in the adoption front yet. Though, he thought they mentioned something about running a daycare? There may have been some kids running around at some point during the car repairs. Maybe he could volunteer to help out Wayne with the kids. It wouldn’t be the same as fatherhood, but it would be something. 

Steve grinned as he got out of his car and headed into the grocery store. He couldn’t wait to tell Robin. Things were starting to look up!

I do not do those reader tag list things. If you’d like to keep up with my stuff please follow my writing tag: trensu tells stories

#hawkins halfway house for homeless horrors #trensu tells stories #stranger things #wayne munson #eddie munson #steve harrington #el hopper #steddie #i swear the sixth chapter will be the last one #after this fic is properly finished #everything else i write (IF i write it anyway) will just be random oneshots set in the 'verse #i do want to write more since i have backstories for all the kids #and eddie's backstory in particular i'm pretty excited to play with #but my seasonal depression is going to be kicking in soon and my carpal tunnel's been acting up a bit #not too bad but it can definitely get worse if i don't take it easy #and i have to start working on a sewing project that has a specific time frame for completion #but damn it! i wanna finish this fic!!

[strangeswift]

What if Mike gets Vecna'd and Vecna makes him see Will getting Vecna'd (Will is not really getting Vecna'd) and Mike tries to save fake Will by talking to him (apologizing/confessing his love/sharing memories like in the shed) but it doesn't work, and Mike has to watch fake Will get his bones snapped and crumple to the ground, and then Vecna is in Mike's head saying, "He didn't believe you. Why would he? You ignored him. You hurt him, again and again. You killed him. You did this, Michael." And Mike is just cradling Will's (fake) lifeless body and sobbing into his chest. And then he starts begging for Vecna to just take him too. And then fake Will's body morphs into Vecna and starts doing his creepy hand face thing ya know? And Mike's not even fighting it because he's so confused and still thinks Will really just died.

And meanwhile the real Will is actually watching Mike get Vecna'd for real. Mike starts floating in the air, and Will is losing his shit. He's sobbing and babbling and he basically repeats the van monolgue (not exactly word for word but close) but this time he does say I instead of El.

(I was gonna kill Mike here cuz I'm in a mood rn but I wrote a happy ending instead🙄)

So Mike hears Will's speech. And it works. Mike falls to the ground (bones and eyeballs still in tact) and Will catches him.

And Will is holding Mike's face and sobbing with relief, and Mike is confused because moments ago it was him cradling Will, and Will was gone. So Mike weakly puts a hand on Will's face and asks, "You're okay?" like he can't even believe it. And Will starts laughing tearfully and asks, "You're asking if I'm okay?" And Mike shakes his head in confusion and says, "He made me see-- It was you, I lost you. I really lost you. I keep losing you. It's my fault, I know it is. I-"

And Will touches their foreheads together and says, "You didn't lose me. You never did. You're never going to lose me."

Mike kisses him. Will kisses back, and Mike reaches up to brush away Will's tears without breaking the kiss. And after they finally pull away, they hold each other, for a long time. And then Will says, "I love you," and Mike responds, "I love you too. I-- God that doesn't even feel like enough to describe how I feel about you."

Happily ever after blah blah I'm bored of that happy stuff I'm in an angsty mood rn. But anyway think about it, the shots switching between Will "getting Vecna'd" and Mike getting Vecna'd and maybe we can't tell at first which is real or if they're both real?? That would be cool I think.

#this one goes out to all my moots <33 #made this for u guys <3 #isnt it such a silly cute lil senario #fun fact i actually desperately want this and i have had this idea for a while and was gonna write a fic but i am too lazy. maybe someday #also be grateful i gave it a happy ending cuz i wasnt going to 😘 #mike not being able to say ily to el but feeling like ily doesnt even properly CAPTURE the extent of his emotions toward will>> #one of my better ideas #byler #byler senarios #s5 senario #silly headcanons #🌈🐦

[touchmycoat]

fake white lotus AU pt. 3a

(had birthday dinner w family and went absolutely bonkers. So here's 3k of SY angry-ranting about fake!qijiu)

CW: canon-typical violence & child slavery/abuse

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom and a regime. The emperor of the regime, as was an emperor’s wont, sired dozens of children with gratuitous amounts of beautiful women and left all the women and children in a sequestered harem to main and kill and battle each other for spots of favor. Infants were poisoned in the womb. Faces that were once touted as the most beautiful of entire provinces were torn to shreds and fed to dogs. Concubines and crown princes alike rose and fell.

A number that no longer mattered was seven because at this point in the plot, the Seventh Prince had long since gotten rid of one through six—and also eight through fifteen for that matter. The Seventh Prince was no longer the seventh of anything; he was now the Crown Prince. But once, long ago, he hadn’t wanted the crown at all. He had been so far down the line, his mother dead and unfavored, that he thought he never stood a chance.

Then there was a kidnapping. A fumbled escape. Then there was a prince among the beggars in a slum, unfamiliar with everything except the heavy weight of awaiting death in all these people’s eyes.

And then there was the Protagonist.

All in all, Shen Yuan gave this Meet Cute-slash-Meet Awful a five out of ten for originality and a seven (six-point-five?) for execution. The backstory itself was neither special nor cliched, and seeing baby-Qi and baby-Jiu roughing it was effectively heartbreaking. Shen Yuan liked their thematically matching names. He liked Shen Jiu’s youthful effort at kindness. He liked the surprising depiction of Yue Qi as not a useless flower vase with nothing but annoying platitudes, but rather a boy who caught on quickly to the rhythm of survival because he was already used to it in the palace. He liked the stakes of Yue Qi not telling Shen Jiu his princely identity, first because he was wary of further betrayal, and then later because he didn’t want Shen Jiu to push him away for his royal status.

But what did Shen Yuan not like?

Oh not much. Just, like, everything after that.

The problem with Yue Qingyuan was that the author got all wishy-washy. The prince wasn’t laundry, Author-dada, so stop dumping him in the spin cycle! He was coming out each time all confused and inconsistent! Was he clever enough to take out all the other princes in the running for the throne or was he an idiot, blind to the most Basic™ of political intrigue tropes and needing Shen Jiu running to his aid at all times? Was he camped out in the angsting corner and self-sacrificing to a fault or did he kabedon Shen Jiu when the passion arose?? Did he take over the country because he was filled with idealism and determination to abolish the slavery and poverty that he couldn’t save the love of his life from or because he was a black lotus in his own right, matching Shen Jiu beat for beat in his quest for vengeance, getting back what he believed he was owed?!

Oh what was that, haters? Shen Yuan was being unfair? It didn’t have to be one way or another, Shen Yuan was not taking the author’s characterizations at face value and was instead projecting his own desires? Shen Yuan should just write his own Mary Sue self-insert if he wanted the Protagonist so badly?

Wrong! An offensively incorrect misdiagnosis! Shen Yuan knew all about false binaries, okay? There were more than two genders; ipso facto, Yue Qi could be both smart and an idiot, both self-sacrificing and self-serving.

—Like hell! There was a line here, one between having the cake and eating it too. The author wanted to eat the cake of the doting Gege-type, hiding his feelings behind a comforting smile because he only wanted Xiao Jiu to be happy, then there wasn’t going to be the same cake waiting in the fridge, this time with I should take this opportunity to kill all the competition filling inside! Fans weren’t your unpaid interns combing out your character kinks for you (in every sense of the word). Make it! Make! Sense!

But Shen Yuan may have digressed. The point was, Shen Yuan had the Crown Prince coming over for some afternoon tea yet had little idea which version of the character he was going to get. He’d tried to ask Ming Fan before Ming Fan left, all meaningful looks and trailing off:

So my last encounter with the Crown Prince…

To which Ming Fan had winced and found a far, faraway tree to squint philosophically at.

Surely the Crown Prince is a gentleman, and has long-since forgotten the incident.

Oh so now this comic knew how to do effective foreshadowing?!

Do you think he might—? Shen Yuan had pressed, at which point Ming Fan’s gaze had slipped over to Shen Jiu before—

Hurry up! We’re leaving!

Qing-gege ah! How could you do this to your Qing-didi?! And then shoot such an aggro glare before galloping off in a cloud of dust? Didn’t you know to never leave family and loved ones on a sour note? This was the perfect set-up for you to return to a burned down husk of a house and a remaining lifetime’s supply of regrets that you never told them you loved them, don’t you know! You foolish tragic hero!

…Not to jinx himself or anything, knock on wood. But who could Shen Yuan ask now to prepare himself? Not Shen Jiu—at least, not after the totally-not-tense, haha-of-course-not-why-would-you-even-think-there-was-tension-here conversation Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe decided to have, some days after Liu Qingge’s departure and the day before the Crown Prince’s visit.

Young Master Shen! Shall I prepare some desserts for you and your guest tomorrow?

That would be lovely Binghe, thank you.

It would be my honor. Attendant Shen, what are the Crown Prince’s preferred flavors?

…How would a common servant like myself know?

Oh my mistake. I just thought I heard a story in the market about Attendant Shen being called to wait on the Crown Prince at a prior banquet or some such.

(What the hell Binghe, jealousy this early in your courtship?? Take it from an old man: that wasn’t a cute look! Shen Jiu didn’t owe you anything, so don’t go taking a dip in the vinegar vat just because Shen Jiu poured a guy’s tea one time!)

Had Young Master Shen also been in attendance?

Hm, I forget. But I’m sure the Crown Prince will love the berry dessert you made yesterday as much as I did. Will Binghe get more ingredients for those?

Certainly Young Master Shen! I’ll go right now!

(Ah but who could blame a once-enslaved half-demon for being less-than-well-adjusted? Have no fear, your devoted reader was here! Love Doctor—or, no, gross, ew, let’s workshop that—was his name, matchmaking was his game!)

Attendant Shen, maybe you can accompany him?

Oh I’m sure that’s not nece—

For what?

(You roll around in ink you got up black—a.k.a. Jiu-ge, keep hanging out with Liu Qingge and you’d end up only knowing how to speak in gruff demands!)

Well Binghe’s new to our Estate. If you show him around town I’m sure no one will give him trouble.

I wouldn’t want to take Attendant Shen from his duties—

I’ve wrapped up my duties. Certainly I can accompany him, Young Master Shen.

(Score! All aboard the Bingjiu train!)

Only, I can’t do my hair up properly.

(Blink. Blink blink. Right, the arm injury. Shen Jiu had honestly looked so natural with his hair down, gathered back at the nape of his neck with only a strip of ribbon that Shen Yuan had completely forgotten it wasn’t his typical neat and classy half-bun.)

Oh sure, let me—

This servant can do it!

(Great, now what the heck was this development?! Shen Jiu going tense? So sure, yes, Luo Binghe had been the one to deal him the injury but were they running the trauma storyline now? Regroup Shen Yuan, regroup. Obviously this was where Young Master Shen insisted on doing up Shen Jiu’s hair right in front of Luo Binghe, and Luo Binghe would be angry-mad-jealous except he knew he didn’t deserve Shen Jiu’s trust, not after losing control of his demon form and injuring Shen Jiu the morning after he arrived. Therefore on their trip out to market Luo Binghe would keep his distance and the tension would be rising—until bam! Shen Jiu was suddenly in grave physical danger (a runaway carriage was always a cheap classic here) and Luo Binghe would leap into action! Luo Binghe would return to his distance once the danger had passed but now Shen Jiu would know those demonic hands that had once hurt him were actually capable of protection and warmth, okay okay Shen Yuan you’re doing fine, you’re still on track here.)

I’ve got it. Attendant Shen’s been trying to teach me how to do this pin for ages, anyhow.

Time to see if Young Master Shen has the talent to be a personal attendant.

Right, so there was that whole conversation, plus or minus Shen Yuan getting to brush and handle Shen Jiu’s Protagonist hair on his Protagonist nape (and no Shen Yuan was not getting a bite of that tofu—Shen Jiu murmured something about it being hot outside! Shen Yuan had to get the hair off his neck!). Luo Binghe had put Shen Jiu on the defensive so Shen Yuan hardly expected Shen Jiu to be open to a sleepover type of heart-to-heart, all so what do you think the Crown Prince is like as a person? Like, is he the forgiving sort? Will he let the Young Master he believes has been systematically ruining his beloved’s life go unpunished for those sins? El oh el, asking for a friend. All Shen Yuan had to go on was Ming Fan’s foreshadowing, Luo Binghe’s street gossip, and of course the holy fucking doctrine of the original comic.

In the original comic, Shen Jiu and Yue Qi reunite one warm spring night. Shen Jiu had been making a last-minute delivery of live pigs and Yue Qingyuan had been escaping the royal banquet; it was the night of the Crown Prince’s engagement to the Young Master of the great merchant House of Shen and Shen Jiu, caked in a day’s worth of livestock grime, stumbled upon Yue Qingyuan hiding in the back garden.

Shen Jiu, who had agreed to come in the first place in order to seek out potential connections, put on his best customer service smile and called out, pardon this servant Young Master, but we’re to close the backdoors behind us. Will you reenter the banquet so this servant can lock up?

And Yue Qingyuan, who had shot up the moment he sensed another’s presence intrude on his woeful solitude, yes, yes of course, I apologize for getting in your—Xiao Jiu?

…Qi-ge?

And the rest was history…more like shitstory! To be fair, the primary reason it was so bad was because Shen Yuan knew it could’ve been so good. As a wise woman once sang, we could’ve had it all!

Shen Jiu and Yue Qi’s reunion in the garden revealed the circumstances of their separation: that Yue Qi had been entirely ready to give up palace life and stay in the streets, picking up small jobs and here and there and waiting by the Qiu Estate’s backdoor at sunset, hoping to catch Shen Jiu on his way to do evening chores and give Shen Jiu a little candied snack or two. The more Yue Qi saw Shen Jiu though, the more he saw Shen Jiu injured, coming out of the Qiu Estate limping, bandaged, bloodied.

It hardly took a genius to understand, but what were two helpless children to do? Uh, plan a murder, was what. Or at least an escape with a side order of murder, extra red sauce. Shen Jiu wanted out and Yue Qi’s resume had under Work Experience years spent dodging assassination attempts; the two kids quickly hatched a plot involving fire, stabbing, and a small stash of money Yue Qi managed to put away.

Too bad that, when the day of the scheduled escape came, Yue Qi was recognized by a distant cousin’s uncle’s cousin, who wanted to bring him back to the palace not out of the kindness of her heart but as a bargaining chip. Yue Qi ran for it, heading straight to Shen Jiu to warn his best friend that the plan was off. Shen Jiu made the call to stay the course since the plan involved them both fleeing town anyways. But nothing lined up, the traps didn’t spring to plan, and soon the cousin had Yue Qi and Qiu Jianluo had Shen Jiu. The last they saw each other was Shen Jiu slamming the estate doors shut between them, yelling for Qi-ge to go already, go get help, Shen Jiu would wait for him to return.

And of course Yue Qi wouldn’t, not until it was too late. Back in the palace he was tied up, gagged, drugged, caged. If you know what’s good for you, Concubine Lin had hissed, you’ll stop making such a ruckus and pretend you know nothing.

So Yue Qi did. He played the smiley cowardly idiot until all the factions in power finally left him alone. His first attempt to get information on Shen Jiu got an innocent servant boy set upon by hunting dogs and brutally killed; the boy had been a year younger than Shen Jiu, also enslaved, and Yue Qi wouldn’t try again for a year. By the time Yue Qi had amassed enough power of his own—by the time Yue Qingyuan had earned his name in his Imperial father’s eyes—to discretely send for intel, the Qiu Estate had been empty for months.

A mass execution, came the report from a neighbor, the dragon whiskers-candy stall Yue Qi used to buy Shen Jiu sweets from all the time. Nasty, nasty business. All the slaves dead because of one traitor. Young Master Qiu said he wanted a clean slate.

Yue Qingyuan would end up buying the old Qiu Estate and “accidentally” burning it to the ground, but it would only ever be a pitiful, futile gesture at vengeance. He couldn’t even find Young Master Qiu to exact vengeance because the entire Qiu merchant caravan had been slaughtered by robbers on some dangerous roads. Yue Qi finally had his hands on immeasurable power but it was all for naught—the one person he needed it to save was long dead, long gone.

…Or so he thought. Here we go live audience members, place your bets: how did the reunion go, between the Crown Prince who thought a slave dead and the slave who thought himself abandoned? Start things off with a slap? Yes! Ten points to the lady in the back! Shen Jiu, for all of his connivance and self-control, couldn’t help but go red in the eyes. Here was the boy he saved who promised to save him back but then didn’t. Here was the boy he cleaned and dressed now in the cleanest and finest dress of all. And here he was, holding the memory of Qi-ge so close to his heart as someone who did not deserve his lot in life. Well Shen Jiu was right—Yue Qingyuan did not fucking deserve this.

The gentleman in blue! What was that? Yue Qingyuan would not explain? Absolutely correct, you get ten points! In the face of Shen Jiu’s distress, no explanation for his prolonged absence seemed good enough, especially not now that Yue Qingyuan was well-fed and dolled up and so close to the seat of power. As far as he was concerned, he’d failed Shen Jiu; there was no fixing the past, only the things he could secure for Shen Jiu going forward. He would not be losing track of Shen Jiu again though, that he vowed. He may not be a hero, but he would never again not be there when Shen Jiu needed him.

Scholarly looking person in the front row! Hm, so you believed the best way to capitalize and build on the emotional valence here would be to keep Shen Jiu’s sense of betrayal, probably have Shen Jiu reveal he worked under the House of Shen and have Yue Qingyuan eagerly volunteer to aid in Shen Jiu’s cause? And that there would be something delicious and true about Shen Jiu being the fake white lotus to everybody but the Crown Prince, the most high stakes character you anticipated needed to be fake-white-lotused the most? Oof, unfortunately no points for you, because Shen Jiu actually decided to lovingly stroke Yue Qingyuan’s face after the slap and pivot into the but I know you must’ve had your reasons part of the script that nobody asked for or wanted! Like what even was the point of setting up the perceived betrayal then, hah?!

Emo-styling person with the cat ears, what do you have to say? Perhaps that was Shen Jiu deciding to fake-white-lotus Yue Qingyuan as well, and maybe there was something to be salvaged in the one-way mirror setup of Shen Jiu thinking he’d successfully fooled Yue Qingyuan with his white lotus persona but Yue Qingyuan actually seeing the most ruthless and manipulative sides of him the whole time and was okay with it? Yes wouldn’t that be spicy, maybe have Liu Qingge walk away first upon seeing past Shen Jiu’s mask, only for Yue Qingyuan to declare he already knew? That would definitely be a viable path had Shen Jiu’s forgiveness not been wholly, diegetically, irrevocably, canonically authentic—thanks to the author-dada. No muss, no fuss, no plausible deniability left under all the pink bubble-sparkles and closeups of tear-filled, longing gazes. No points for cat ears. No point to any of this fertile backstory, because at the end of the day it was just two boys, one obtrusively big cliché.

Hence—circling all the way back—Shen Yuan’s dilemma. His complicated state of knowing but not actually knowing anything.

#also i do not fucking understand tenses if anyone wants to help me out #my fic #qijiu #jiuyuan #i think i wrote this in three chunks #each chunk on a single breath with bulging eyeballs #spot the line I'm most proud of #(it's the tofu one) #brain goes brrrrr #post panic attack at 3am cause one of my fish died el oh el #channeling all my panicked energy into SY this is fine

[atticuos]

For @yee-boii cuz you’re neat and your writing inspires me and I love you a bit :)

Rating: 🟠 Mature

❣️Mutual Pining & Yearning ✨

❣️Touch-Starved ✨

❣️Protective Bakugou Katsuki

❣️ Travelling to Winter and Fantasy AU

❣️Soft Epilogue

-

“Kacchan,” Izuku says, and Katsuki knows already.

He’s known this entire night. Izuku has never been good at hiding things, especially when it comes to love. He didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve; he wore it all over him, in his eyes, over his mouth and cheeks, beating right there out of his chest for everyone to see. For Katsuki to grab and keep.

Only ever for Katsuki.

-

#remember when I said I had something abt weight of love and that you’d see what I meant later on? #:) #took me 4 solid months but it’s finally out in the world and for you specifically #I had the musings of the plot floating around in my head but reading your fics and talking to you turned it into this #and chapter 3 in particular is an ode to your bkdk and how much I love the way you write them #this is also the fic that I keep saying I loved working on all the way through and that I kinda didn’t want to end so yeh #I love you #bkdk #bkdk fic #ktdk #ktdk fic #titan tag #my fics #el writes #elstark

[bigboysteveharrington]

I got distracted working on part of a chapter later than the one I still need to finish and post and

Mike: Everyone’s afraid of Hopper, right?

Will, whose previous father figure was Lonnie and whose first memory of Hopper is him carrying him out of the Upside Down: 🤨

#I can't put Will or El or Jonathan's thoughts on this scene until I get there in the so far unposted fic in the same universe as The Things #in Life That I Can't Find but I *can* make a post making it clear that Will is internally like bitch wtf??? because he hasn't witnessed #Hopper intentionally being ominous to Mike and to Will Hopper was already becoming a dad figure before Hopper and Joyce even got together #Because he didn't even know Hopper when Hopper didn't give up on helping Joyce finding him even after his fake dead body washed up #And Hopper went into the Upside Down back when no one had ever come back out alive to get him and carried him out #And Hopper came along to the check ups Will had to have at Hawkins Lab and Hopper was already there for him more and doing more as a father #figure than Lonnie ever did even before they suddenly became a 5 person Hopper-Byers family unit so Will is one of the only ones that #didn't start off petrified of Hopper before they realized that he was on their side and he's seen the way that El is the boss out of Hopper #and El a lot of the time and he's seen the way that Hopper goes along with whatever Joyce wants 99.9% of the time even if they do bicker in #a more lighthearted way that never has Will hiding in Jonathan's room with loud music on to get away from it so he's like yeah Hopper's #big but he's just Hopper??? He's tough in a good at protecting us way but he gives in all the time to what people he cares about want and #he goes out of the way to do things for people regularly??? #Plus Joyce never looks scared of him and she's happier when he's around and Jonathan and Joyce and El all trust him so Will fully trusts #him and likes having him around too #Oops I didn't mean to go on such a long ramble in the tags but I have a lot of thoughts on that family dynamic #Hence the turning the fic into a series so that I can have a fic that focuses on their dynamics #Mine

[reikunrei]

thinking about how i Almost put a scene in molt where henry went to talk to/visit victor and they reconnected and had a really lovely reunion but ultimately didn’t go through with it bc i didnt want it to be any longer than it already was..... maybe it’s something i’ll try exploring in a little part 2 or something..

#i could even mix it in with the fact that i want to explore el and henry's relationship more in that fic... #like. it's all about being fatherly so it would make sense to henry to go visit his father in there too.... #ugh... being emo about victor 2nite #i say things #stranger things //

[effielumiere]

... because it's already the mid-week.

Coming this November 😄😄😄

... because I'm a tease😆 I'm tagging y'all @sopejinsunflower @buttvi

#effie updates #fic: the companion el #fic: all I want el #fic: the fanboy series el

[heroesriseandfall]

I know I’ve set this fic in t-shirt Kon era but there’s a leather jacket anyway, that’s just how it is.

#they just have to wear it. (not kon. Bart and Cassie and Tim. they just have to.) #(all those times during the t shirt kon era that core four made fun of Kon’s leather jackets. it’s because they kept stealing them from him #and they didn’t want him to make them give them all back.) #kon el #core four #heroesriseandfall #fic: what you left with us #my fanfic #my fanfics #I don’t remember which tag

[chirpsythismorning]

When I’m reading a byler fic that’s set years after they defeated Vecna and they try to convince me Mike and El are still together and happier than ever

#stranger things #byler #byler fic #this isn’t slander!!! #i still read byler fics with prompts like this #and I eat them up bc the angst is truly unmatched #and don’t get me wrong I don’t want all fics to be the exact same #I’m not anti au either!! #but it just feels so weird having mike and el still be happily dating years after the events of s4 #and then presumably whatever happened in s5 #what happened?? #and then I have to read to find out #I think I mostly just dislike when they write mike as being super believably in love with el #while also being totally oblivious to his feelings for will #again I’m still eating it up especially when it all starts falling apart and reality kicks in #but it srs requires some imagination bc it’s a little too ooc based on that premise alone #don’t take this as hate pls I’m still reading fics like this until the very end bc I NEED to see it through regarless #and keep writing fics like this if it’s your jam #ignore me! and my bitter rambles!

[shivunin]

Also as I am writing this scene at the end of HLtA, I am picturing one of those fight scenes where the audio focuses briefly in on the breathing of the main character to the exclusion of everything else. Hawke says the "Tell Fenris I'm sorry" line and lifts her staff.

In place of the screaming and roaring and fighting, soft music begins to play in sharp contrast to the desperation on-screen. The rift closes behind her; there's no way back. For better or worse, she's stuck here---so why not make it good? One last performance, even though nobody will ever see this one. When she lifts her arms, flames fly from her like wings, just as numerous as the Nightmare's legs, and for just a moment she thinks she might still win---

Anyways, this is the song that's playing in my head:

#y el canto de ustedes que es el mismo canto; y el canto de todos que es mi propio canto #like with the book about her being named song of the champion??? #ahhh ouch #okay i am going to actually go write it right now #instead of making everyone else think about it #music #maria hawke #i really just wanted everyone to listen to this song #and imagine the music cutting out to her breathing hard #mortally wounded. she stands for a moment longer and the camera is close on her face #blood drips down her chin and she falls #this fic has a playlist now it's all over for me lads #dixeram #Spotify

[devotedlystrangewizard]

anyway if, by the time i have figured out how to code a game, we still dont have it (and i expect we wont) i WILL make an rpg with aro "love" interests. ur protagonist can be an aroallo whore now. whats love if not the thing that some people feel sometimes. some of your allies are only down to have sex with you and will reject you outright if you try to romance them. no monogamy limits outside of maybe specific actual romances. these aros would be absolutely destroyed by the potential fandom but its ok i didnt make them for you <2

#ramblings #it wont be a big rpg i mean. solo dev moment #unless i magically get some decent classmates in school willing to back me up #OR i dare to put myself out there. on the internet. and ask for help. #but for now it is a solo thing #i like games with love interests weve all seen how i talk about my 3 da boyfriends. and gale #but man i wish we had something where sex didnt eventually lead to a romantic confession #like as an aroallo person i just think maybe it would be nice. #& like. specifically aro. you can be specifically aro. some companions would be specifically aroallo #not 'im in it for the sex but you can romance me if you do your best' no i want SEX. and SEX ALONE! #as i was writing this post i remembered how aro characters are treated (will never forget 'but shes still ace in my fic') #and yes. these characters despite being explicitly aromantic. would still get romantic fics #and yes. i would hate that happening. #but also as i said. i didnt make them for you. your toys are right there. look. fwb to lovers is overdone. go play baldur #this post WAS triggered by me thinking about baldursg despite me really liking that game #i love that game but it sucks i cant just. idk. experience my specific brand of homosexuality #listen marrying el to gale was delightful but my actual self insert character was so SO alone #and withers going 'thou hast no bosom companion why' actually made me a little mad. sorry #like no ones gonna cater to aroallos except for aroallos. i know this. but it still kinda sucked