#for those curious its been 13 years for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

Text

The Book: Everything We Know So Far and Possible Connections

The Book's lore is driving me crazy and I had to write this. This isn't meant to be a solid cohesive theory on anything but I wanted to compile everything we know about the Book, some rather disturbing implications of what that might mean, and which characters may or may not have a connection to it, as well as what that connection might be.

This is a long post, so I've bolded the key info. You can skim those if you don't want to go through everything. :)

***Major spoilers for BSD and for Beast!***

Main Series Information:

The first mentions of the Book occur in Chapter 28, when Fitzgerald tells Atsushi that the Guild's goal is to locate it. He tells Atsushi that only one copy of this book exists, and that neither flames nor abilities can damage it.

Fitzgerald claims he knows the Book is there because a prophet ability user foresaw that it had been sealed within Yokohama. When Atsushi asks what the relation is between him and the Book, Fitzgerald says that Atsushi is the guide to the Book.

In Chapter 35, Fitzgerald states that his goal is to use the Book to bring his daughter back to life.

The next mention is in Chapter 46, when Dazai talks to Fyodor in the alley. Dazai mentions that since Fyodor and the Rats don't have the firepower to burn down Yokohama, he instead needs to exterminate Yokohama's ability users to get to the Book, hence the cannibalism strategy.

Dazai says the true Book is a single novel with blank pages where anything written becomes the truth. Fyodor wishes to use it to make a world without the sin of ability users. Dazai says basically "good luck with that dude" lol. (Actually the line is "Give that a go, if you can, that is." which... might be significant?)

Chapter 58: Taneda dumps a lot of info on Ranpo. His assailant, who we know to be Sigma, stole a page from him, a single page removed from the Book in order to study it. The page has exactly the same capacity to make anything written become reality, it just has limited space to write. However, the Book has a restriction: it requires karmic/narrative consistency.

In Chapter 58.5, Mykola's speech about cages and the freedom of birds is ironically dictated word for word by a mysterious author. The translator note on the unofficial version I'm reading says the mysterious author is using imperfect Japanese with lots of katakana - I cannot confirm this myself, but it has interesting implications on our mystery author's identity if true. The page is used to position the Agency as the terrorists in the white hoods and frame them.

Chapter 59: Ranpo believes the Book was not made by an ability user but by something far greater than that. His proof is that unlike Mushitarou's ability, which can also alter reality, the people affected by the Book also have new memories to fit the alteration to the events. The Agency members remember committing the crime, even though they know they didn't.

In Chapter 70, Mushitarou reveals the DoA plans to use the other side of the page to eliminate the country at the next full moon. I am curious as to the significance of the full moon, given the moon's frequent recurrence in the series and Atsushi's ability connection to it. Chapter 74.5 establishes that the Sky Casino, with its 13 year history, was created 8 days ago when the page was written on, as a base for the next stage and also to "repay" Sigma for the use of his ability to retrieve it. In Chapter 75, Fyodor claims that Sigma, too, was written into existence via the Book 3 years ago - he has no memories before this point.

Chapter 77: the page was written with a condition that no police or law enforcement would believe in the Agency's innocence. However, Tachihara broke through that condition by reaffirming his identity as a member of the Mafia, which (metaphorically) tears the page.

Later references don't tell us too much more but I'll summarize them regardless. Kamui/Fukuchi has the page, which Atsushi knows from Sigma's info. Ranpo made an appeal to the police, explaining that the Agency was framed and the page preventing them from seeing the truth, and half the force sees the truth for themselves, breaking through the page's condition. Ranpo believed the direct opposition to the page's restrictions might sway Fukuchi into believing them (unfortunately, we don't know if this was right, as Fukuchi was not affected in the first place, being Kamui himself). And that's what we have so far.

Disturbing Implication #1: The Special Division knows/knew the location of the Book.

Taneda mentions that a page from the Book was taken to study. This implies that at one point, the Special Division had the Book or knew of its location. The higher ups may still know where it is. There are a few potential timelines here: the first is that the page was removed many, many years earlier, perhaps during the war, and the second is that the page was removed and tested 3 years ago, and Sigma resulted from these trials.

Disturbing Implication #2: Ranpo says the Book was created by something greater.

Something greater than ability users. I suspect this may be something outside their world. At this stage, it seems very likely this "greater entity" is an author - the author of the world we read about (it's Asagiri omg). An author, to the world they write, is akin to a god. I'm kind of joking about the Asagiri thing, but the "author" of the Book is likely someone/something that exists beyond the scope of the world of BSD.

Contradiction: The Book cannot be damaged by flame or ability, but pages can be torn out of it? How?

Beast Information:

Oh boy. Where to even start?

Beast Dazai states that the Book is the origin of the main universe's world, and it contains an infinite number of parallel worlds within it.

"What you write becomes a reality" is actually a misnomer. Writing in the Book calls a parallel world that aligns with what is written directly from the Book. This parallel world will then trade places with the real world.

There is a single physical reality, and infinite possible worlds. The Beast universe exists within the Book, as a possible world.

A version of the Book exists in the Beast universe. However, this Beast version of the Book is more of a weakness. Orders from the real world can overwrite Beast. And anyone who tries to write in Beast's Book will make Beast cease to exist.

Beast Dazai jumps at the end of Beast. This is because if more than 3 people know the truth about the Book, the world will destabilize - it may even disappear without Beast's Book being written in.

Beast Dazai created a singularity using his ability. It's not explained how he did this, but it has something to do with his nullification. He did this to read the memories of real-world/original Dazai - the Dazai who exists outside the Book. (It seems all but given that this is Dazai from the main timeline.)

Though the above conflicts with some of what we know in the main manga, we can take it as fact, I think. The narration is heavy on emphasizing that Beast Dazai is telling no lies in this scene.

Disturbing Implication #3: Any alterations are not inventions but transferrals, which means these events actually occurred in another universe.

This means that the Agency really were the DoA terrorists in a parallel world and they did carry out the plan. They really did take the hostages in this world. Tanizaki really did push the button. This would explain their memories. The caveat of no one in law enforcement believing them might make sense too - they're actually criminals in that world, so they would have no reason to believe them. "Trading places" also implies that the terrorist Agency universe has the terrorists trying to save the hostages like the Agency originally planned to do (potentially).

Sigma is an interesting case. If he really was written into existence from the Book, then he was called from another parallel world - literally displaced from his home. His amnesia likely occurred in that parallel world too.

Disturbing Implication #4: The parallel worlds are more fragile than the main world of BSD.

There is something different about our main universe. The Book that originates here is the real deal. But Beast's (and all the Books from different parallel worlds) leave them vulnerable. These worlds can be destroyed at any time if anyone tries to write in these Books. Only a select number of people can know how it really works before it starts to destabilize. What's more, at any point, someone could write in the real-world's Book and overwrite it entirely, and there would be nothing that any of the people within that world could do about it. And Beast Akutagawa, thinking back on the events of the story, comes to the conclusion that even though his world is "but a shadow", the desires, feelings and actions of the people within it make those people no less real than those in the original.

Beast is a goddamn existential horror.

Character Connections

Now, onto the characters who are known to have some kind of connection to the Book.

Fitzgerald wanted the Book in the Guild arc to bring back his daughter. While this is the first mention of it, given that he got his info from clearly secondhand sources (the prophet ability user or Fyodor, most likely), I don't think he has any sort of deeper understanding of it, nor a more personal connection. Ranpo seems to be figuring out the Book's logistics rather quickly, but I expect nothing less from the greatest detective, and he doesn't have a strong personal connection I can see as of yet. As for Fukuchi, whatever knowledge he gained 36 years ago might be connected... but again, I have nothing else to say on this front, considering we have little else on this (I'm actually more inclined to think it has to do with the war - which may tie in with the Book, but not necessarily). I would also be very surprised if Mori doesn't know something but I have no real evidence for this other than that the man is suspicious as hell. Then again, there's also Tokoyami Island, which "appeared" seemingly out of nowhere and is where Yosano's backstory took place and Fukuchi headed after his argument with Fukuzawa. It seems possible, if not likely, that it was created with the Book. So, let's go over some characters who we actually can expand on a little.

Taneda

Not much to say here other than what kind of research was being done with the Book? Given that Taneda had the page on him, was he the one responsible for the research being conducted on it, or was he just involved?

What kind of research was being done with the page? How were they testing it? The page was blank, so they must not have created anything with it yet. How then, did Taneda know how it worked and that the page would have the same capacities as the full Book?

Taneda doesn't seem to understand the Book completely - he thinks it was created by an ability user, after all, and like everyone else in the main universe he doesn't know the reason the Book requires narrative consistency (that it is pulling from other worlds, not just making anything written come true).

The Special Division likely had the Book at one point, but by the time Fitzgerald comes to retrieve it, it has been "sealed". Did the Special Division seal it? Why and how?

Atsushi

We know he has a lot to do with it. Atsushi and the Book are incredibly intertwined, and the initial conflict was kicked off by a bounty placed on his head for this connection.

He is called the "guide" to the Book. What does that mean? Is he meant to locate it? Unlock the seal? Or is he a guide on how to use it properly?

6 years ago, Shibusawa found Atsushi at the orphanage when he was just a kid and tortured him to extract his ability. He was a researcher who learned about the tiger from Fyodor, who called Atsushi's ability "one that guides the envy of all ability users". And we know Fyodor has been after the Book for a long time, so it's difficult to imagine this does not have something to do with it.

Atsushi is the only character to directly reference a real-life novel in the series and recall reading it. "The head may err but never the blood" and "I only regret what I haven't done" are from the real Nakajima Atsushi's "Light, Wind, and Dreams", a fictionalized autobiography detailing the last few years of the life of Robert Louis Stevenson. While other characters quote their namesakes' fiction on occasion, to my recollection, Atsushi is the only one who explicitly remembers reading the book, but finds himself unable to remember the author's name. Cute reference, or plot significant? You decide.

Atsushi's tiger is heavily associated with the moon, particularly the full moon. For some reason, the other side of the page is to be used at the next full moon and cannot be used sooner. Atsushi's ability crystal, pulled out of him by Shibusawa as a child, is described as "pale and glittering like the moon".

It is entirely unlike the red crystals that form in the Dead Apple separated abilities - including Atsushi's tiger (also red). It is, however, similar to Dazai's, which is white. Atsushi transforms into the tiger to swallow the moon-like crystal - to reiterate, it was outside him when he transformed. What's more, from Beast it's known that this instance was when his ability apparently activated for the first time - how could it do that if it was already removed from him? Later on, Shibusawa tries to take the crystal again and Atsushi's transformation deteriorates, that's true, but bear in mind that Atsushi was convinced that crystal was the tiger, which may have psychologically influenced this. In fact, the moon crystal may not be the tiger at all. It is entirely possible it is something else, and it is likely that which makes Atsushi so sought after. If it is, I refuse to believe this has nothing to do with the Book.

Atsushi's ability is described as the "spark of life that resists all abilities". A reference to his healing factor, perhaps? Or something more meaningful?

He's also referred to as an "angel" by Shibusawa who canonically got his information from Fyodor so... make of that what you will.

Tachihara

This isn't so much about Tachihara having significance in future but more about what his breaking of the page's conditions might mean.

At the crux of this is his split identity - he's a Hunting Dog, but also a mafioso, and his struggle between these identities is his core conflict in the Sky Casino arc.

Eventually, Tachihara, recalling Hirotsu and Gin's words that anyone in the Mafia knows that the Agency is innocent, frantically realizes they have the wrong culprits, thus breaking through the page's caveat that all law enforcement would never believe them, accompanied by a metaphorical tear in the page.

It's intriguing because we don't see this same dramatic depiction later on with the police when Ranpo appeals to them - Tachihara has changed his expected role from police to mafioso. Tachihara is no longer playing the "character" he was meant to play.

He tore out of that restriction in the story. His story line is now on a different path. There are some serious implications of that if a change in character can literally break people free of the Book's reality-altering influence. It is all-powerful so long as everyone plays their expected role in that narrative. Breaking out of that can change the story, even if only minutely.

Sigma

Of course Sigma is connected. He was apparently written into the Book three years ago - which means he came from one of the parallel worlds. (Provided Fyodor is telling the truth about his origins, but I think it would be very strange narratively if this wasn't - at least partially - true.)

I am curious if Sigma will regain some of his memories soon, or if it is even possible for him. If he can regain memories, then they would be from a world within the Book. Or, perhaps his memories don't exist because that world has been overwritten and no longer exists?

Is it possible for Sigma to communicate between worlds using his exchange of information? Maybe this is completely out of left field... I'm just curious what role Sigma is going to play in all this.

It's strange, for someone so obviously connected I... really don't have much to say about him. I just think we don't have enough.

Mykola

There isn't too much to say for certain about him, but I know I was super uncomfortable with his entire speech about birds and cages and freedom being dictated in real-time by the page. That's rough, buddy.

As of this moment, he's supposed to be dead, but somehow defied his fate and is still alive. He decided not to play the role ("character") he was previously meant to, and now he is the cast's biggest wildcard.

Mykola's fixation on freedom at all costs may have some interesting implications for his interactions with the idea of the Book. When his words were written on the page, was the page dictating his speech, or was it merely recording what he was already saying? If the Book is the story, then does the story control the characters, or, as it has been implied by Mykola and Tachihara, can the characters defy the story? When they defy the story, the story changes to accommodate this. Have they really, then, defied anything of significance at all? (For clarity: I don't know if this is where BSD will go with it - in actuality, I'm always confused when people theorize the Book's author is evil and controlling, or that the series will end tragically, given how much BSD loves to emphasize the importance of writing and reading and understanding and living. This is just an example of a few possible questions it may make sense for Mykola to fixate on.)

I don't have a lot to say for certain, but given his need to be free, his connection with Fyodor, and his Dazai-foiling traits, I'd think it very odd if he wasn't involved to some extent.

Dazai

...where to even start.

Dazai clearly knows things about the Book. He appears to know much of what Fyodor does, and it makes me curious as to whether it came up when they first met (whenever that was).

However, main series Dazai doesn't seem to have all the info Beast Dazai does. For one thing, he too echoes that the Book makes all that is written into it become reality. He may know about the parallel worlds within it and could just be lying by omission, but I've seen very little to suggest that this is the case.

Main series Dazai appears to know about certain events long before they occur (not everything though; I need to remind people that he can and has been thrown off/wrong about things before) - notably, most of these planned events revolve around Fyodor. He's been preparing Atsushi and Akutagawa specifically to deal with the upcoming threat posed by Fyodor's pursuit of the Book.

Beast Dazai was somehow able to read the memories of real-world Dazai by creating a singularity with his ability... somehow. It's assumed he must've created it while in contact with the Book (otherwise how else could he have read the memories) but it's actually not elaborated on and we still have little to no details.

If his nullification caused a singularity, then how? Was it a singularity with the Book? Himself? Whatever the Book was sealed with/in? Singularities are still quite mysterious, but they need to involve one of two things - an insurmountable contradiction, or an uncontrollable increase in power with no way to cap it. Given that nullification doesn't lend itself to an increase in anything, it's likely an inherent contradiction.

I think it pretty obvious that Dazai has some special knowledge of the Book; some connection to it. He's been preparing to combat Fyodor for many, many years, and he seems to want to take Fyodor out as quickly as possible. Clearly, his potential use of the Book is a big deal to Dazai and worth putting his full effort into preventing, which is a little odd, honestly, considering he only met him once before the events of Dead Apple. Fyodor must've really made a terrible impression on him.

Where did he come from? There's that post about how Dazai is in everyone else's backstory for some reason, but we don't know his yet. Here's what we do know: He has some kind of connection with the Old Mafia Boss. He wandered around Yokohama for awhile. He's not related to Mori or an orphan he picked up.

While I've seen suggestions that Dazai met Fyodor in the 2 year gap between his leaving the Mafia and joining the ADA, I think there's reason to suggest he may have met Fyodor before he ever joined the Mafia, as a young child. Just bringing it up as a possibility because Beast Dazai's forming of a singularity with it sounded intentional - which means at 16, he would already have known what the Book was. Did he get his knowledge from Fyodor? Someone else?

Why did young Dazai become so listless and unable to find a reason to live? How did he become convinced that he will lose everything he wants so badly to keep when he gets it? Why did he think he could predict everything in advance? Is it just his intelligence and observation? Or is there more to it than that?

While I'm not a huge fan of the "Dazai is the Book" theory (given that it would make him literally inhuman, which I think runs antithetical to his story), on reviewing all this I've come up with a new incredibly deranged and not-at-all-sound theory:

Dazai is the Book's seal. In this essay I will -

Fyodor

First of all, we know hardly anything about him. We don't understand his ability. We don't even know how old he is. He's been with V/the Decay of the Angel for many years apparently... he was involved in Shibusawa's actions... he has some kind of a history with Dazai... he perfected the art of dramatically standing on windy roofs... truly, he's an enigma.

On a more serious note, all we know is that he wants the Book to create a world free of ability users. Free of sin.

This doesn't seem to fully align with Fukuchi's goal. My proof? They have differing concepts of "angels".

Fukuchi's "angels" borrow from the Buddhist concept of Devas and also likely references Mishima Yukio's The Decay of the Angel. Fukuchi tells Tachihara that the angels are the politicians who remain in their lofty seats and send soldiers into war to die. His goal isn't revenge per se, but it does appear to involve dethroning them in a sense. He doesn't mention wiping out ability users nor of having any particular ill-will towards them.

However, Fyodor's concept is closer to the Abrahamic concept of angel, what with the numerous references to original sin, the script for the play in Untold Origins speaking of angels banished by God for their sins, etc. What's interesting is that the play emphasizes ability users as "angels" who have regained some of their prior powers (I find it difficult to believe Fyodor was not involved in the creation of this) - so Fyodor's "sinful angels" are likely ability users. What does this mean for their goals? Are they still aligned? Is the undermining of government necessary for the elimination of ability users? (Also quick note: do not quote me on any religious stuff - I am not religious myself. I do research sometimes but I'm very, very far from an expert ahaha.)

So, now: Cannibalism was part 1 of the DoA's plan, and all the ensuing stages will culminate in the use of the other side of the page.

Firstly, there's the obvious "what will the other side of the page be used for?"

But then there's something else. By the time Cannibalism occurred, the pieces were already in place for the next phase of the plan, where Sigma would steal the page from Taneda. Why then, does Fyodor still claim, on numerous occasions, to be after the Book? The page should be able to accomplish anything the Book can. Either there is something misleading in the information we have been told, or there is something he wants to do with the Book that isn't writing in it. I think the former is more likely but I digress, the latter is still a possibility.

A few more outstanding questions: Why was he spreading info on Atsushi to Shibusawa and presumably Fitzgerald, but not going after Atsushi himself? Wouldn't he want Atsushi as the Book's guide?

What is his connection to the prophet ability user Fitzgerald mentioned - is it him, with his uncanny predictive powers? Is it someone else associated with the DoA? Is it someone in the government? How long ago was this prediction made - was it made long enough ago that this is why V was active in Yokohama?

There's a lot that's very confusing about Fyodor, and I don't think we know nearly enough about him to make proper predictions as to his relation to the Book yet.

Akutagawa

He's only really tangentially related to it through his connection to Atsushi - if any showdown is going to happen involving the Book, you can bet he and Akutagawa will be teaming up for that.

At the same time, Dazai selected Akutagawa as a mentee a long time ago, and he's been planning for them to work together since he met Atsushi, specifically so they can prevent Fyodor from achieving his goals. In Beast, he mentions their abilities form a singularity together - likely that ability to "cut through anything".

I know this may be entirely wild and out of left field but if it can cut through anything... could it damage the impervious Book? Could it even destroy it? Or maybe it could destroy whatever is sealing it? Who knows, but it makes me think they're going to have to destroy something. (Interesting how this runs counter to sskk's need to act as protectors of the Book in Beast... so maybe it will be in defense. It's all so unclear.)

There's also the whole "dragon is the manifestation of the chaos of ability users". Atsushi and Akutagawa are the tiger and the dragon, at odds with each other via rivalry but also in balance. I think it would be very strange if Atsushi's ability were unusual but not Akutagawa's.

In addition to all the above, I am also side-eyeing all the author characters in this series. For one thing, there's very few of them. For another, two of them have died, changing the path of their respective best friends' lives - and in a series that actually... doesn't kill that many named characters off permanently, it's worth taking a look at.

Yokomizo wanted to transcend the boundaries of fiction in his writing to create a mystery that bled into reality - the ultimate mystery. Mushitarou writes to see his friend again, to connect with him through his greatest passion. Poe's ability allows him to take real people and pull them into constructed narratives that can be escaped once they are "solved" - when the story reaches its conclusion. He is also the one who spurs Mushitarou into writing to cope with his loss.

Natsume wrote a few books as well. We don't know completely what they were about (and from my brief research they don't seem to correspond perfectly to his real life novels - might be a reference to Kokoro but the story does not appear to be the same...), but at least one was a series of three novels, with the last featuring an assassin who stopped killing, but Natsume derided these books and said they were not very good. He tore out the last few pages from the third, final book that explained why the assassin changed his path, and gave the book to a young Odasaku with a note "Don't blame me if you regret [reading] it".

Odasaku wanted to complete that novel. It completely changed his perspective on the world and opened his eyes - he re-read it multiple times (if I remember correctly, he also read it over and over to a wounded and exasperated Dazai in TDIPUD lol), and the lack of an ending bothered him immensely, not just because the story was incomplete, but because the scene was necessary to understanding the assassin's character. Odasaku wrote to understand himself and others, because writing novels is writing people. Natsume seemed to think he was uniquely qualified to do so, but Odasaku disagreed, thinking that someone who took lives was in no position to write about them - to understand them.

Odasaku dies. In every universe, and before he gets the chance to write the novel that sits in his mind - except in Beast, where Dazai painstakingly maintained the world to ensure he stayed alive. It seems oddly specific that this one random person should die before having the opportunity to write the story he wished... and I have to wonder if the universe really doesn't want him writing that book for some reason. And if that's the case, then is there any reason (beyond saving Oda from killing) why Natsume encouraged him to do so?

As a bonus, in the anime, Odasaku is the one to title drop "to the stray dogs" as a cheers, which Dazai will later echo. This doesn't happen in the novel... but if you look back at the difference between the anime Book and the manga Book - you'll notice the manga Book's cover is blank. The anime's says "Stray Dogs". Could be something, could be nothing. But it's worth mentioning.

And that's pretty much it for now! As we get more info, I'll continue to update this post. If anything here gives you ideas, please feel free to ramble about it in the tags or comments, or shoot me an ask! I love to read all your thoughts. :)

#this is so long. if you made it through... congratulations! you are probably just as obsessed as i am hgnkvhgvnskf #feel free to add on. these aren't full theories or anything and a lot are just suggestions or open ended questions #i hope this is a helpful reference and at least sparks some interesting thoughts!#bsd #bsd meta #bsd the book #i don't want to tag everyone...#so i won't lol #storyrambles

959 notes · View notes

matan4il · 2 months

Text

Daily update post:

Another one that I start with news of a terrorist attack. -_- This morning, a terrorist started shooting at several vehicles driving down the Jordan Valley, one of which was a school bus. The driver of this bus confirmed that the terrorist was wearing what looked like an IDF uniform. According to Magen David Adom (Red Star of David) there are at least 3 people injured, one is a 13 years old kid, another is in serious condition. The terrorist has not yet been neutralized.

After Amit Soussana's testimony about being raped by Hamas, we also have a Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ) terrorist admitting during an interrogation that he had raped a woman in her home in an Israeli kibbutz. It's not the first such testimony, but these are important enough that when they're published, they ALL must be heard.

The prosecution against the terrorists responsible for the massacre of October 7 has been expanded to include clauses which could end with the death penalty (I found a link to a journalistic source online, then I accidentally closed that tab, and can't find it again, but it's been reported on TV. The following tweet recounts the indictments, though the headline is misleading. A death sentence has not been approved, it's just now approved that it's a possible outcome of the trials, once they take place).

For those unfamiliar with the Eurovision Song Contest, it's an event that has been run since 1956, with the intent to help heal a post-war Europe, by allowing countries to have a friendly competition (instead of a bloody conflict), and also have a chance to get to know each other better through music. It's meant to be a unifying, and therefore also a-political fun music fest. This contest has since been expanded to include all countries that are members of the European Broadcasting Union, which means Israel also gets to compete since 1973, and has even won 4 times. I wrote this post about our entry this year, if anyone's curious. In recent years, the ESC has been used for annual anti-Israel propaganda, way before the war in Gaza. This year, a senior official in Israel's National Security Office had to issue a warning for any Israelis going to the competition in Sweden, to be careful and hide their identity as much as possible. I am passing along the warning, because wherever Israelis are in danger, so are Jews in general.

After Canada, Sweden, Australia and Finland, now France is also declaring that it will fund UNRWA again, proving that no amount of complicity in anti-Jewish terrorism will stop some European countries from passing along money to those who have raped, maimed, tortured and murdered us. But no worries! France promises it will ensure that their money won't go to terrorism. I will just remind everyone that France brokered a "deal" to pass along medications to Israeli hostages with chronic illnesses in Gaza, in exchange for an additional 1,000 packages of meds for Gazans. It then said they got reassurance that the meds got to those hostages (meaning, France quoted Qatar, which quoted Hamas, so this is the international diplomacy version of, "Trust me, bro. I'm a highly reliable antisemitic terrorist"). When Israeli soldiers got to a hospital in Gaza, they found some of the med packages for the Israeli hostages in its pharmacy, unopened and clearly not delivered to the rightful address. So... IDK about you, but I'm pretty sure even the French know their assurances about the UNRWA funding are just empty words.

This is 40 years old Mohammad Alatrash.

He's an Israeli Bedouin Muslim Arab, and father of 13, including a one month old baby. He was kidnapped on Oct 7, and has been held captive in Gaza since. Mohammad's uncle said the whole family's life has not been normal since he was taken hostage. Despite that, today several families of hostages had a tour of the attacked communities in the south, with Israel's and Belgium's Foreign Ministers, his brother Salem said that they're okay with Mohammad being released later, as long as Hamas frees the female hostages. "It's hell what they're made to go through there." Just a reminder that Mohammad is one of the Israeli Muslim hostages that Hamas could have and chose not to release even during the month holy to all muslims, Ramadan.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

93 notes · View notes

thecoleopterawithana · 7 months

Text

youtube

Suicide

If when she tries to run away / And he calls her back, she comes / If there's a next time, he's okay / Cause she's under both his thumbs She'll limp along to his side / Singing a song of ruin, I'd / Bet he says nothin' doin' / I'd, I'd call it suicide

This is likely one of the first songs Paul ever wrote. It predates Rock 'n Roll washing up onto the Mersey shores and the tingles that started going up and down Paul's spine. Not yet acquainted with his "confidante", Paul's earliest compositions were done instead on his home piano.

This particular tune seems to have come about around Paul's fourteenth birthday, in mid-1956. It is not known how this song sounded at its genesis: did it already have the lyrics, or was it like the contemporaneous "When I'm Sixty-Four", for which he originally had only the tune?

We hear "Suicide" for the first time in the Get Back sessions, with complete lyrics and John joining in right from the first verse. From Paul's comments on the song, it does seem like he had the lyrics in mind from the get-go:

That was a song I’d had forever, since I was about 16. I had my Dad’s old piano at home, that I used to tinker about on when there was no-one in the house. And my feelings were, then, that if you were ever going to be a songwriter, the height of it all was Sinatra. That would be the greatest stuff that you could do, really a little bit before rock ‘n’ roll, so you were thinking of standards and things. So around that time I wrote “When I’m 64” and this other thing. I thought it would be a bit of a Rat Pack, smoochy, with words like “When she tries to, run away, uh-huh…” Boom! And stabs from the band, you know.

— Paul McCartney, in the McCartney - Archive Collection (2011) liner notes.

I'm curious about the timing because, in usual McCartney fashion, we have quite dark lyrics being camouflaged by a jaunty little tune (à la "Maxwell Silver Hammer", "Another Day", etc.) And they are made even darker if they were written by a fourteen-year-old boy.

When I first heard of this song, I assumed, based on the title, that it'd been written after Mary's death. So I was quite surprised when I saw its origin dated to potentially even earlier than that (although I don't really know what information these estimations are based on).

Regardless of the exact date of origin, this song had been on my mind since I heard it brought up in @anotherkindofmindpod's Fine Tuning: Ep 2 Shoulder to Shoulder. Together with Ep 4 Shells & Barriers and the wonderful analyses that emerged from it, I've been wondering about what influenced teenage Paul to write a song about a woman trying (and failing) to escape an abusive marriage. From @bidisasterhawkeye's contribution to the aforementioned post:

For those unaware, Paul's mother had a quite tragic background. The second of four children, her younger sister Agnes died at age two (cause unknown) when Mary was around eight years old. When Mary was ten, her mother died giving birth to another baby girl (who also died). At that point, Mary's older brother left their home in Liverpool to join the army and Mary's father took Mary and her toddler brother, Bill, back to his home country of Ireland. In Ireland, they apparently lived in extreme poverty as Mary's father tried and failed to become a farmer. Ten year old Mary was apparently not enrolled in school there because she was given the role of homemaker and mother to her baby brother. When Mary was around 13, her father went to Liverpool and acquired a second wife with children of her own, and this new stepmother was apparently "cruel" enough that Mary ran away at age 14 (as did Bill later).

I might have seen it mentioned somewhere around here recently (please let me know if you know where!), but it's curious that Paul wrote about women running away in "Suicide" and "She's Leaving Home", when his own teenage mother went through the same. The latter song seems to apply better to Mary's situation at fourteen. Whose story is Paul telling in "Suicide"?

Maybe it's not that deep, and "Suicide" is indeed only a joke song. Paul certainly seems to want us to believe that:

It was a real early song of mine, and I used to do it as a joke, really. […] So I never did anything with it but around the time of McCartney, I was just goofing around on piano and at the end of one of the takes there was a little bit of tape left, so I just did it and didn’t think to use it because it was Rat Pack, tongue in cheek. But I used that little fragment at the end of one of the tracks, ‘Glasses’.

Haha, good ol' Paul, goofing around with a meaningless little tune called "Suicide" right around the same time stuff like this was happening:

I was going through a bad time, what I suspect was almost a nervous breakdown. I remember lying awake at night shaking, which has not happened to me since. One night I'd been asleep and awoke and I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. My head was down in the pillow, I thought, Jesus, if I don't do this I'll suffocate. I remember hardly having the energy to pull myself up, but with a great struggle I pulled my head up and lay on my back and thought, That was a bit near! I just couldn't do anything. I had so much in me that I couldn't express and it was just very nervy times, very very difficult.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles' Many Years From Now (1997).

I'll leave further ruminations on the emotional implications of "Suicide" to your discretion. Or we can take a page out of Lewisohn's book and simply conclude:

But though the words wanted work (and didn’t get it), ["Suicide"] was a charming little tune, a dance-band piece with a dash of modernity, light, engaging and original … quite exceptional for a first attempt by a boy on the cusp of 14.

#Suicide #Paul McCartney #The Beatles #Mother Mary McCartney #jim mccartney #when you were young and your heart was an open book #every day I don't want to get up get out of my bed #1956 #1969 #1970 #meta #my stuff

131 notes · View notes

getvalentined · 5 days

Note

Hey, long time lurker with a brand new account here! i was just reading an earlier ask you answered about why Vincent didn’t stop Hojo and Lucrecia and (of course) Sephiroth, but there’s also something that bugs me that I’m not sure has been addressed in canon or fanon. I like Vin and Veld as work besties in the 1970s and they’re also a ship of mine. Yet I’m not quite sure how to factor in how Vincent gets shot during his time at the Nibelheim Manor, is presumed dead, and Veld doesn’t even go to investigate until Before Crisis, when he finds Vincent in the coffin and tells him he’ll come back another time. I guess an answer I could come up with for myself was that someone higher up than Veld forbade him from looking into Nibelheim for all those years but I’m curious what your thoughts would be? :)

My take on this is actually very specific and headcanon heavy, since there isn't a lot of information on that whole time period—much less information specific to Veld—but I'll give as comprehensive a breakdown as I can!

Things we know specific to Vincent and Veld's situation:

Veld was Vincent's partner in the Turks

Veld did not know Vincent was dead

Detailed explanations on the certainty of both of these are under the cut, but they go into linguistics and translation disputes and context cues that will absolutely get us both lost in the weeds if I go into them here.

Other things that are moderately relevant to this explanation:

All victims of the Kalm fire were taken to Nibelheim for processing by R&D, including both Veld and Felicia (source: BC chapter 13)

In spite of being processed in the same location and even being utilized in the same experiment as Felicia, Veld didn't know that she survived, so it's very possible to hide people in there (source: BC chapter 13)

Veld did not know that Hojo had anything to do with Vincent's disappearance (source: BC chapter 19)

At the time that Vincent disappeared, Gast was still in control of R&D (source: OG FF7)

The Turks know absolutely nothing about the contents of the room in which Vincent is sealed (source: BC chapter 19)

Veld has multiple lines in BC that make it clear he's intimately familiar with the Manor, talking about how it still has a dark atmosphere and how unpleasant the place is. He also seems genuinely concerned when the Player Turk reveals that they were in there getting rid of old research materials on Tseng's order, although I think that's more because he didn't want his newer Turks finding out about what had happened to him if at all avoidable. (It was not avoidable.)

That familiarity with the facility, on its face, makes it really weird that Veld didn't know anything about what happened to Vincent. The only obvious way to reconcile this with him never finding Vincent (aside from the cop-out of "it's just bad writing") is that Veld chose not to look for him, he chose not to question his disappearance, he chose to forget him and let him fade into obscurity. This sounds really bad!

My take actually plays into this concept, and it while it could still be slightly damning for Veld, it's really just as much of a tragedy as anything else in that whole situation: Veld did look, but he started looking way too late.

In my headcanon universe, Vincent and Veld were together prior to the mission in Nibelheim. They broke up not long before Vincent left (the assignment itself is partially to blame for this, but that's long headcanon rambling I will save for another time), and the assignment was long-term enough that Vincent's reports were expected weekly for the first month, then monthly for the proceeding three months, and then quarterly after that. The assignment was slated to last roughly a year and a half, but could have gone up to three years according to Gast's estimations based on his previous efforts and the term of Project G.

But Veld had literally broken up with Vincent right before he left for this assignment, so he wasn't surprised when Vincent only sent two weekly reports, one monthly report, and then dropped into quarterlies from there. The reports themselves were still comprehensive, although Veld got the distinct feeling that Vincent was getting a little emotionally involved in the assignment—not that Veld could blame him, Vincent was requested for this assignment because Gast knew Grimoire, so Vincent was probably having a rough time being in close quarters with people who were so fond of his dead father. Still, the distance would be good for him. Let him get his head on straight.

In mid-1977, Vincent's report schedule faltered again. Veld had received one in April, a bit late—because Lucrecia was pregnant and she broke up with Vincent and married Hojo and he didn't know what to do, he didn't have anyone to talk to, but he didn't want Veld to know. One in September, at the very end of the month—because things were getting so bad, Lucrecia was so sick, Hojo was so aggressive, Gast literally didn't care—and in this report, Vincent said that there may be complications with the project that would require company attention, but he would let Veld know in his next report.

That report never arrived, because Hojo shot Vincent on October 24th, 1977.

Veld waited, because there was a schedule, and Vincent had been a bit lax anyway. No big deal.

At the end of December he received a missive from Gast stating that he would require escorted transport back to Midgar for himself and an infant, by no later than the end of January. Nothing from Vincent, but Gast didn't mention anything, so Veld thought nothing of it.

In mid-January, two Turks arrived in Nibelheim to help transport Gast and his team back to Midgar, and Vincent wasn't there. To hear anyone tell it, he hadn't been there for months. While phone lines were shaky so far out, they eventually made it through to Veld, notifying him that Vincent was missing.

They questioned the rest of the team, but their search of the facility was limited without clearance from higher-ups with that kind of sway. Veld could do a full search, he had the security clearance for it, but two lower-ranking Turks could not.

Lucrecia said that she didn't want to talk about it—she felt bad enough already. Hojo said the last time he'd seen Vincent was mid-October, and he'd just thought the boy finally ran off back to his kennel.

Veld questioned Gast when he arrived back in Midgar, finding that he was the most forthcoming and the least useful. Gast stated that he was under the impression that Vincent had returned to Midgar in early November; he'd been out of town for the last two weeks of October for a board meeting back in Midgar, discussing assignments for Project 0, and Vincent was gone when he returned.

All of them were lying.

By the time Veld made it out to Nibelheim to search himself, it was mid-February, and Hojo had moved Vincent into cold storage for the time being. Things were being shuffled around with the onset of Project 0 anyway, samples and subjects and materials being moved in and out, Lucrecia finally being sent back to Midgar for a much-needed postpartum recovery period, Hojo being given temporary control over the facility.

At this point in time, the Turks only had so much power. R&D was swiftly making itself the most indispensable department in the company, and Veld's search of the premises was always one step behind Hojo's relocation of materials. There was almost certainly one point where Vincent was held in a steel containment tank being relocated from the lower lab to the upper or vice-versa, and wheeled right past Veld without him knowing.

Veld, who knew how emotional Vincent could be and had now gotten the whole story of the regrettable whirlwind love affair from Hojo and Lucrecia, came to the conclusion that Vincent had gone AWOL. Could Veld blame him? He had been treating Vincent like crap since their own breakup—he hadn't been communicating, and even though he'd been able to tell that something was wrong, he never even tried to call and ask him about it. He'd been pissed off too, and left Vincent to his own devices...for over a year. On a separate continent. Of course he tried it with Lucrecia. Of course he left when that relationship fell through.

And Vincent was a good Turk, the best in the entire department, so he'd definitely know how to disappear. How to cover his tracks. Specifically how to hide from the current head of the department, who just happened to be his partner.

If Vincent chose to disappear, Veld would never be able to find him; since he never found any evidence of what transpired to lead to his disappearance, Veld could only assume that was what happened.

Almost thirty years later, he was horrified to finally get into that sealed room—the one Hojo said they used to store old furniture and facility staffers' more valuable personal belongings, way back in 1978—and discover that he'd been completely, utterly, devastatingly wrong.

But, once again, Veld had just waited too long to do anything about it.

—

Game content and dialogue sources:

Grimoire Valentine's BC playthrough

Flash PINK's BC script

Evidence that Veld and Vincent were partners:

The Grimoire Valentine BC playthrough translates Veld's line when explaining Vincent's identity as "We were partners a long time ago." I've seen this translation disputed, because the actual word Veld uses is 同僚 (dōryō), which is best translated as "colleague."

To my knowledge (based on obsessive linguistics research because I have a problem, I do not speak Japanese but I will spend hours researching exactly what specific terms mean within the context of a given culture), this implies equal standing within the company in question. Of course, this is in real-world situations, so we can't assume it applies 100% to FF7 canon—luckily, this word is used at one other point in the game, giving us important context on its usage within the department: in chapter 14, when Tseng thinks the Player Turk has been killed in Wutai, Yuffie asks how they know each other and Tseng replies "They're a [colleague]."

Tseng is vice director, meaning they're definitely not equals, so this could imply that this word is used more loosely among the Turks, thereby disproving the partnership between Vincent and Veld. However, since Veld uses the word 部下 (buka, "subordinate") to describe the other Turks in this same chapter, I personally feel that Tseng uses this term very intentionally at this point, and it's meant as an indication of his character. When Tseng thinks the Player Turk is dead, he refers to them as an equal. This is further implied by the fact that in the proceeding scene, when the Player Turk is proven to have survived, they continue to refer to him as Tseng-san, using the standard honorific, while Tseng doesn't use one in return to refer to them. Veld likewise doesn't use an honorific when referring to Tseng, but the other Turks do.

Back to Vincent and Veld's little reunion, though, I feel like Vincent's dialogue completely clarifies the intent: Vincent doesn't use an honorific or a title when referring to Veld. Every other Turk in the game refers to Veld as 主任 (shunin), with or without his name, which translates to "director." Meanwhile, Vincent refers to Veld by his name and his name only, and Veld doesn't refer to Vincent with an honorific either.

In their department, it's clear this isn't something you would do with someone who wasn't on your level. Subordinates get no honorific, sure, but anyone even remotely superior gets one—a practice that holds true well after Veld is gone, as Elena refers to Reno and Rude as "senpai" from her recruitment in 0007 all the way up to her appearance in Advent Children.

If either Vincent or Veld were ranked differently to the other, the lower-ranking one would use an honorific—but they don't. Names only. Add in the fact that they instantly recognized each other after almost thirty years, and the level of familiarity is undeniable.

Those men were partners, a long time ago.

Evidence that Veld didn't know Vincent was dead:

Upon finding Vincent in 2006, he isn't shocked to find him alive—instead, he refers to Vincent having "disappeared," specifically using the phrase 姿を消し (sugata o keshi), to describe what he knows to have happened. To my knowledge, this is an entirely neutral phrase with no implication of death or malfeasance, particularly within the context of Veld's dialogue, which makes it explicitly clear that whatever happened to Vincent, Veld did not believe it killed him.

His next line is something along the lines of "Did Hojo do this to you?" which I find equally important; he very quickly adjusts his assumptions based on the situation and what Vincent looks like, moving immediately away from the concept of a mysterious disappearance to something much more sinister, but he doesn't seem to have thought of that possibility prior to this point.

#long post #headcanon warning #fandom ramble #vincent valentine #veld of the turks #vinveld #professor gast #professor hojo #lucrecia crescent #the nibelheim doom triangle #before crisis #ff7bc #bcff7

24 notes · View notes

theromaboo · 5 months

Text

@just-late-roman-republic-things seems to be plowing through Suetonius Augustus and I am here for it!

Your mention of the dinosaur bones that Augustus used as home decoration reminds me of a story about Tiberius! (I swear, everything recently has been reminding me about Tiberius!)

By the way, finding the ancient source for this story was shit! I remembered reading this like a year ago, and I had forgotten which ancient source this was from. Using my critical thinking skills ("hmmm tiberius hmmmm dinosaur"), I assumed that this story came from Pliny's Natural History.

It did not.

I was searching through the Natural History for so long that I was starting to wonder if I had made the story up!

After searching through the Natural History for ages, I finally used more critical thinking skill and was like "Hmmm. Maybe if I google this, I could find an article about the event and maybe possibly it would cite a specific part of the Natural History!"

I googled it, found an article about the event, and it cited Phlegon's Book of Marvels.

Whoopsie! I was looking through the wrong book this whole time! In my defense, Pliny and Phlegon actually are pretty similar names if you squint sooo...

(it was however worth it to look through the Natural History because I found the funniest story about Tiberius ever but that's a story for another day)

Now that I have the ancient source of this story, I can finally tell it!

Basically, there was an earthquake which opened up all sorts of cracks on the ground. And in those cracks, there were dinosaur bones!

The people were pretty spooked so they took a tooth and sent it to Rome. And this was a massive tooth.

The tooth was showed to Tiberius and he was asked if he wanted the rest of the bones. He was like "Well, I'm really curious about this thing, and I'm aching to get an idea of what size it was, but it feels like graverobbing to take the rest of the bones."

So Tiberius got some dude called Pulcher who was skilled in geometry. Tiberius asked him to make a face in proportion to the tooth. The dude estimated the size of the creature using its tooth as a reference and then showed Tiberius a construction of it he had made. Tiberius said that looking at the construction was good enough and sent the tooth back where it came from.

Tiberius and (especially) Pulcher, the world's first paleontologists!

I love this story. It's wild. Though I do wonder what happened to the construction. Did Tiberius keep it?

If Tiberius randomly showed up at my door one day, I'd bring him to Drumheller to go to the Royal Tyrrell Museum. Alberta is one of the most boring places in the world but we do have a banging dinosaur museum!

On the hours-long drive there, I will most certainly give him like a billion questions, though. "How was Caligula like? How was Augustus like? How were you like? How was Livia like? How was Sejanus like? Actually, scratch this. Name every single person you know and tell me how they were like and how they looked like. What did you do in Capri? Explain your entire life from beginning to end, giving extra attention to the personal parts! I don't want to hear about wars I want to hear about what people were like! Could you read Suetonius to me and point out parts where he's wrong? Could we watch Domina together and you can tell me if you like your characterization or not?"

For everyone's sake, it's good that dead Roman emperors usually don't randomly show up sometimes (not counting whatever the fuck was happening right after Nero died!)

If you want to read the Tiberius Tooth sTory (haha Triple T) for yourself, you can here. Look for §13.

#ancient rome #roman history #ancient history #history #tiberius #emperor tiberius #dinosaur #dinosaurs #phlegon #phlegon book of marvels #pliny the elder #paleontology

39 notes · View notes

bottlesofrouge · 3 months

Text

on one condition.

harry styles x original character

part two.

word count: 8.5K

13 JUNE 2018

jackie: why is my sex crazed neighbor standing at my door asking for you

jackie: i think he has gifts????

14 JUNE 2018

lynn never replies to jackie.

it’s not that she doesn’t care, she just… doesn’t care. why should she accept whatever stupid, empty apology harry’s going to offer her. he wasn’t really sorry, she knew that. she also knew that she really wasn’t angry with him.

she lets things build and build until she finally reaches her breaking point, and unfortunately for harry, he was on the receiving end of one of those snaps. there was nothing more to it.

(she is a little curious as to what his gift was)

“lynn,” jane calls for her attention. the girl was sitting in front of her at one of those stone picnic tables at the park. she has melted ice cream running down her chin, and her hands were covered in stickiness, but god, lynn couldn’t love her any more.

“hmm?” lynn hums, reaching to wipe her messy face before the ice cream has a chance to pool on her shirt.

“i’m just happy you’re here,” she grins at the older girl, and lynn’s heart melts just like the ice cream.

amelia’s dance camp ran later than jane’s today, so lynn decided to take her to the park just because it was easier for her. they wouldn’t have to go all the way home, and jane could entertain herself. but, then they passed the ice cream shop on the corner, and lynn couldn’t say no to her sister’s puppy dog eyes.

so, then they were inside. jane ordered mint chip in a bowl because it was green, and green’s her favorite color. lynn asked for chocolate with rainbow sprinkles on a sugar cone.

they weren't outside for more than two seconds when jane decided she doesn’t like mint after all.

“you can spend the night at my place if you want to tonight.” lynn offers, and she sees the younger girl’s face light up.

“yes! yes!,” she chants, and lynn reminds her to lick her ice cream cone.

✮✮✮

jane, amelia, and lynn are laying in lynn’s bed, watching a random movie that amelia had chosen. growing up, the two of them could never agree on what to watch. ninety nine percent of the time it was because they were all nearly a decade apart (lynn was twelve years older than amelia and twenty two years older than jane). and the other one percent was because amelia just liked causing problems.

but, amelia was older now which meant they could watch more mature movies while jane slept soundly next to them (which is exactly what is happening right now). they were surrounded by tons of blanket and pillows, and more popcorn crumbs and kernels than lynn would like.

honestly, deep down, she didn’t really care. her sisters could turn her apartment upside down and she would happily clean up after them because (most of the time) it meant they were having fun. and she wanted her sisters to have the fun, care-free childhood she didn’t get.

silas: i’m home. i know you must have been worried sick about me since i left.

lynn: you spent a singular night at the airport... did you want me to send a card?

silas: flowers would be appreciated as well

lynn: im glad you got home safe, silas. you know that.

silas: i know, lynn. what are you up to?

silas: besides ignoring jackie.

“amelia, take a picture with me,” her sister leans in the frame and sticks her tongue out. “its for silas.” the middle sister only hums before turning her attention back to the movie.

lynn: attachment: 1 image

silas: pretty girls

lynn: too sweet silas

lynn: im not ignoring jackie im ignoring her neighbor

silas: she said he was hot

lynn: she thought chad was the epitome of hot

silas: fair

“can you maybe turn the ringer off?” amelia’s eyes are still on the television as she speaks.

“yeah, sorry,” she turns the ringer off, and slides her phone away from them. “i wanted to spend time with you tonight anyways. i feel like i never see you.”

“im growing up,” amelia rolls her eyes. “it’s not like i died.”

“i was just saying i missed you.”

and it was true. lynn felt like she rarely saw amelia (besides when she was busy driving her to whatever extracurriculars she was participating in at the moment). she was always out with friends when lynn stopped by for dinner, and really, amelia just didn’t come around as much as jane did.

amelia doesn’t say anything, and the moment’s passed so lynn lets it go, and turns her attention back to the movie. no one speaks again until amelia offers to watch jane in the morning so lynn can attend her hot yoga class.

15 JUNE 2018

"you really didn't have to do this," her finger's tracing the rim of her mug as she speaks. "i said it was fine."

"i know," harry replies. "but i wanted to."

gemma's sitting across from him at some local cafe by her apartment. he missed dinner with her (again) so, now he's up at the crack of dawn (really it was nearing seven in the morning) to make it up to his sister. he didn't necessarily want to be there, but he needed to be. that is if he wanted to save whatever was left of their relationship.

and really, he shouldn't be blamed for missing the dinner. lynn was sleeping in his bed, and he couldn't leave her. what if she woke up and needed something? like a gluten-free beef stew that took fifty-five minutes to make. or maybe a vegan red bean and rice skillet. he definitely didn't spend an hour scouring the internet and his cabinets for an allergen-friendly meal. no, because that would be crazy.

"mom said you were seeing someone," she raises her brow towards her brother, and harry can feel the sweat on his forehead already forming.

"its not anything serious. we're just," he panics and chooses gemma's earlier words. "seeing each other at the moment."

harry doesn't know a lot of things. like why the sky is blue or what the answer to seven thousand times ninety-three is. he doesn't know how wifi works and he doesn't know any other language besides english. but (more importantly) he doesn't know why he told his parents that lynn was his girlfriend.

it slipped out too easily. they were sitting in some restaurant a few days after, and his mom asked about her and he said it. it was supposed to be a joke because they had known each other for mere days, but then he saw the look in her eyes and he couldn't tell her that they didn't exchange more than five words with each other since they left that stupid barbecue.

"well, i'd like to meet her," gemma's grinning at him and it makes him sick to his stomach. "whenever you're serious and not just seeing each other at the moment."

"yeah," he smiles back at her, trying to ignore the bile rising in his throat. "for sure."

maybe he wouldn't be in this mess if he just would've talked to lynn when he ran into her on campus the other day instead of opening his goddamn mouth and letting whatever misogynist bullshit fall from it.

and if that wasn't humiliating enough, showing up at her friend's apartment with chocolates was icing on the cake. her friend (who he now knows as jacqueline) was so incredibly nice, but he probably looked like a complete psychopath. just showing up at a stranger's house... looking for someone that didn't even live there. he hated himself so much.

he looks at his sister for a second and instantly wishes he hadn't. growing up, he always felt like he was looking in a mirror when he looked at her. the two had the same dark brown hair and green eyes. their smiles were a bit lopsided, and their laughs sounded nearly the same.

now, when harry looks at his sister, he sees everything he's missing. gem graduated college at the top of her class, and she earned her spot as a top public relations specialist for a marketing company having only worked there for a year. she's married the love of her life, and they own a house that's close to his parents. gemma's family dinner invitations never get forgotten, and never once has her wedding invitation "gotten lost in the mail". harry's never seen his mom give her that look (except for the time she landed in the county jail), and their dad always, always lets her know just how proud she makes him.

harry wishes he was her sometimes.

the two siblings sat at the table for nearly an hour. she talked about andrew, and his absolute obsession with model trains. harry thought it was rather interesting, but gemma thought it was the hottest thing ever (ew). she filled him in on the extended family drama that she learned about at last month's family dinner, and he doesn't know how to tell her that he'd rather talk about anything else. really, anything. so, he brings up drew's model train collection again.

gemma's running late to work, so harry takes their used mugs to the drop-off station and follows her out of the coffee shop. saying goodbye to his sister was always bittersweet. bitter because he really did love her. she had the kindest soul and cared for him so much. honestly, he rarely saw her, but that was mostly his own doing. they lived thirty minutes apart and most days the drive seemed a bit too much.

saying goodbye was sweet because he felt like he could finally breathe when she was gone. gemma was suffocating in the most motherly way possible.

"i'll come see you," she says with her arms around his neck. "and... what did mom say her name was? lynn?"

there's a hum a few feet away from them and harry opens his eyes to see lynn standing less than two feet away from them.

it's honestly like a scene from a movie, and harry is punching the fucking wall (metaphorically of course) because how could something like this happen in real like. if the two would've said goodbye inside like gemma insisted, this entire thing could've been avoided.

he's staring at her with so much intensity, begging her silently to please not say anything. but, he's harry, and nothing good ever happens to harry.

"wow harry, brown hair and pretty green eyes. you must be really restraining yourself," and in any other situation, he would've laughed because, he'll admit, lynn was funny.

"who's this?" gemma's looking in between them and harry just really wants to die.

"i'm lynn," she reaches out her hand. "and you must be his-"

"my sister!" he interrupts. he pulls his shirt collar away from his neck. when did it get so hot outside? "lynn this is my sister, gemma. gemma, this is lynn."

"oh wow, this is such a great coincidence," gemma's smiling at lynn. "i'm running late, but you two should come over this weekend. drew and i would be happy to cook dinner. it's been so long since harry's had a partner."

lynn looks over the top of her glasses at harry, and she's smiling one of those fake smiles that don't reach her eyes, and fuck, he was done for. he could feel his heart beating all the way in his fingertips, and he's not sure what he's embarrassed more by. the fact that lynn knows he's lied to his sister, or the fact that she just told everyone on the street corner that he hasn't dated anyone in so long.

"actually," lynn says, and that smile is still glued to her face. "harry, why don't you tell her?"

"we were going to invite you to mine this weekend," harry's talking so fast that lynn can't get a word in. "i'll text you, alright? you've got two minutes," harry taps his watch, and gemma's eyes widen. she hugs harry, and yells a goodbye to lynn as she's running into her office building next door.

"your partner," lynn's looking at him with her arms crossed in front of her. "as if i would ever be with someone like you."

"you don't know me, lynn," he rubs his eyes, trying to push whatever tears were threatening to fall back in. because really, he shouldn't be crying, but he was absolutely mortified. maybe if he stood close enough to the edge of the sidewalk, a student driver would clip him. not enough to kill him, but a little amnesia and maybe a light coma would be pleasant.

"look, im sorry, okay? i didn't mean to make you-" his voice cracks and suddenly death by student driver isn't sounding too bad. "i want to talk if you're up for it. we can grab dinner there," he nods his head towards a random restaurant across the street. "maybe tonight at 7? only come if you want. no pressure. i don't even have your phone number so no annoying texts or unwanted phone calls."

he doesn't even wait for her to respond before turning around and feeling the hot, fresh tears slide down his face. he shouldn't be crying. there was no denying that. but, harry hasn't felt this humiliated since his mom held that make-shift intervention. he knows it's a little dramatic, but he would rather drop dead than feel this level of embarrassment ever again.

embarrassment has always been harry's least favorite feeling. his body always went warm, and his face and ears burned so badly, he knew they were hot to the touch. he hated feeling that way because his body was so telling. anyone around him would be able to tell that he was completely humiliated, and that just made him feel horrible.

when he gets back to his apartment, jacqueline is just walking out of hers. if he's quiet enough, he thinks he'll be able to go undetected because the girl always takes the stairs. no matter the time of day or how many bags of groceries she was carrying, jacqueline would never be caught taking the elevator.

except for today, apparently, because as soon as she locks her door, she turns to the right and starts making her way to the elevator.

"hey," she smiles warmly at him. "headed to professor sullivan's class?"

"fuck," harry bangs his head on his door a little too hard before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. how did he manage to forget the singular class he has been attending nearly every day for the last two weeks?

he clears his throat and turns to offer jacqueline a smile, but it comes across in a way that suggests he might be going slightly crazy. "uh, i don't think so. maybe next time."

"are you sure? she has a really strict attendance policy," jacqueline says. honestly, harry hates the idea of taking a journalism class, and he wasn't sure why a fifth one was added into the course study. he was majoring in public relations and to him at least, five journalism classes was overdoing it just a bit. "you can come over and copy my reading notes if you'd like. then, you can drive us so we won't be late."

"are you sure?"

"i really don't want to take the bus if im being honest," harry laughs a little before telling her he'd be right back.

he gets his school bag from the desk in his room, and meets jacqueline in her apartment. the two sit on her couch while harry copies her notes from whatever reading they were supposed to do over night. the girl offers harry coffee, and comes back from her kitchen with a to-go coffee cup filled with the best oat milk latte harry has ever tried.

"thanks again for the notes, jacqueline," harry says, closing his notebook and leaning further back into her couch. the cushions are so soft. he could probably fall asleep right now.

"please, call me jackie. consider the notes a thank you for driving me," she smiles at him, and harry takes a moment to really look at her. jackie looked the complete opposite of lynn. she had dark, curly hair and deep brown eyes. her skin was tan, and she was significantly shorter than him. she's always smiling, even after taking the ungodly amount of stairs, and harry thinks she's probably the nicest person he's ever met.

"we can carpool from now on," he says. "since i'll be going there anyways."

she offers him another warm smile and decides that they should get going because jackie hates being late, and to her, being on time is still considered late. they take the elevator down to ground level (thank god), and she follows him to his car. harry silently thanks whatever higher being may be listening for convincing him to throw away all of his tear-stained and snot-filled drive-thru napkins from earlier.

"i tried to give lynn your gift by the way," jackie says while looking out the window. "i don't want you to think i didn't."

"thank you," he replies. "i shouldn't have brought them. i just felt bad and... i don't know. it was stupid of me."

"it wasn't," she speaks with such sincerity, it makes harry smile. "she's not usually like this," jackie lets such a long sigh out, and harry can see her breath fogging up the window. "the lynn i grew up with would've written you a five-page thank you note just because you thought of her."

harry knows jackie's only venting, but he isn't really sure what to say. he didn't really know either of them, but he can't help but wonder what exactly she meant by that.

"sorry," she smiles at him again, and harry wonders if that's the only facial expression she ever makes.

"there's nothing to be sorry for," he replies, and she turns back to look out the window.

the two sit next to each other in class, and harry is glad to see that jackie seems to hate professor sullivan's lectures just as much as she does. he finds himself constantly checking the clock, and it's like the minute hand barely moves in between each glance. the longest he's gone without looking so far has been a whopping seven minutes.

during a particularly long speech about the importance of credibility, which is something harry had learned about during his first year here three years ago, jackie leans over and scribbles in the top corner of his notebook. when she leans back, harry takes a look at what she wrote.

omg move on already

he feels himself grinning as he pencils a 'god i know' in the margins of her notebook.

the two do this back and forth for the entire lecture, writing to each other when professor sullivan went on rant after rant. and when professor sullivan pointed at harry to answer some question he wasn't paying attention to, jackie answered for him, pretending like she couldn't tell who the woman was pointing to.

"she gives the worst lectures. i swear im always on the brink of falling asleep." jackie says as the two walk down the hallway of the very oversized communications building.

"tell me about it," harry accidentally bumps into her with his arm. "i don't even know why this was added to my course study."

"yours too? they added two to mine right as i'm about to graduate."

"that sucks," harry says. "i've got to make a stop real quick. is that alright?"

"actually, my next class is in twenty minutes upstairs," jackie slows down her walking and nods to the staircase a few feet in front of them. of course, she's taking the stairs.

"alright," harry says. "if you ever want to study or anything, my front door is always unlocked."

"i'm not sure if you're serious, but you shouldn't go around telling people that," she jokes. "i'll see you tuesday?"

"tuesday it is," he nods.

jackie offer a small wave as he leaves, and harry feels a little sick the entire seven-minute drive back to his apartment. he wasn't sure if it was the fact that he was going to have to face lynn now, or the fact that he didn't know if she was coming that made him so anxious, but that doesn't stop him from throwing up in the community trash can.

picking out an outfit feels like the hardest thing harry's ever done since he spent a week in an organic chemistry class. he didn't really know where they were eating, and he didn't know if he was supposed to be trying to impress lynn. the only thing he did know was another mick jagger cosplayer comment might be just what he needs to set him over the edge. he opts for jeans and a white polo shirt from his short-lived student coaching stint at the beginning of freshman year.

harry's deciding which cologne to wear (or if he should wear any at all because what if strong smells give lynn a headache) when he throws up again.

the drive to the restaurant feels way shorter than when he had made it earlier today. it was like he had blinked and he was there. the nearly hour-long drive with rush hour traffic was a complete blur.

he decides to sit on a bench that was conveniently located outside. the restaurant seemed to be a tex-mex situation and harry wanted to cry because that was his least favorite kind of food. he loved mexican food, but there was something about white people putting their own spin on dishes that kind of grossed him out.

he waits for ten minutes, and then twenty, and by this time harry's starting to get a little embarrassed. the amount of times the hostess came out to ask if he was ready to put his name in for a table was already at three, and he thinks he'll have to leave the country if it reaches five.

she comes out the fourth time around 7:30 and harry gives her his name because firstly, he's starving. and second, he cannot let her ask a fifth time.

"if your date doesn't show up, i get off in twenty," she winks at him and harry can feel his cheeks warm. he licks his lips and goes to take her up on her offer because she was insanely attractive and harry was incredibly bored.

"no need," lynn is standing next to him with one of her fake smiles on her face. "if you would've given me more than a second of your time, i could've told you i was free at 7:30," she says, leaning down so her lips were level with his ear. she kisses his cheek before standing up and asking the hostess if their table was ready.

"you could've texted," harry says as they follow the girl. "you have my number."

lynn looks at him with furrowed brows, and harry taps his forehead. "that's right. you ignored the gift i left with your friend."

"so flowers are supposed to make up for what you said?" lynn crosses her arms in front of her at the table, and orders a double jack and coke when the waiter stops by a second later.

"i'll have a water, please," harry smiles politely and waits until the guy leaves before turning back to look at lynn. "they were chocolates actually."

"even worse," she stares at him blankly before yawning, like spending time with harry is the most boring thing to do in the world.

"i really didn't owe you anything," being around lynn brings out the worst in him. "me saying that women thank me for bringing them home is somehow worse than you continuously implying i have this great big fantasy of fucking myself, right?"

"you're right," she takes a drink from her jack and coke. "i was having a rough day. i'm sorry."

harry gasps and puts his hand over his chest. "lynn apologizing? did hell just freeze over?"

"ha ha. you're so funny, harry," her tone is robotic. "but i mean it. i'm sorry. and i have a proposition for you."

"what might that be?" harry leans forward, and lynn raises her brow like she's expecting harry to say whatever sexual innuendo he's biting back. and of course he doesn't make it because that would be wildly inappropriate (but it definitely involves the bright red lipstick she's wearing).

lynn asks him if he would be interested in fake dating her, and harry sits there as she explains it and pretends like that wasn't the entire reason he had invited her out to the restaurant in the first place. he was expecting to beg, maybe even get on his hands and knees, so he was happy to sit back and watch lynn list out all of the pros and cons with pleading eyes while he enjoyed the taco salad he had ordered a little while prior.

he feels a little bad for not interrupting her before she got to the ten-minute mark of her very well thought out proposal. she even included how she was completely okay with labeling it as an open relationship so harry could sleep with whoever he wanted whenever he wanted without worrying that someone they knew might see them, and he had to admit that that condition alone made his answer an immediate yes.

"i'll do it on one condition," harry drinks from his water glass and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "you can't fall in love with me."

"ah, there's the harry i know," lynn flicks her crinkled straw wrapper at his face, and it lands in the middle of his salad. he frowns and tries to fish it out with his fork, but he decides he's not really that hungry anymore. "something tells me that won't be a problem."

17 JUNE 2018

in her twenty seven years of being alive, lynn has never met her boyfriends' families. of course she met luke's, but lynn had known liz and robert way before she and luke were even a thing, so it felt wrong to count that. her college boyfriend's parents were dead (or so he told her for the entirety of their relationship), and the guy she saw briefly after him never became serious enough for her to even learn his parents' names.

so, here she was, sitting at a dinner table surrounded by harry's immediate family. harry had cooked some kind of italian chicken dish that lynn had to chase with a gulp of wine after each bite. it wasn't that it was that bad, she just hated chicken (and also it was that bad).

she had expected it to be awkward, meeting his parents and sister for the first time, but this was borderline unbearable. no one really spoke besides his dad when he would ask gemma about her new promotion at whatever company she worked for. his sister always answered with a polite smile, but lynn could tell it made her uncomfortable by the pitying glances she would give harry after she answered.

"so, lynn," marianne lightly dabs her mouth with a napkin. "your mom tells me you dropped out of school to work in a bakery. any plans of going back?"

john laughs under his breath at this, and lynn feels her face growing incredibly hot. "not at the moment, no."

"well certainly that'll change, right? i don't think decorating cakes would be a long-term career for someone who seems intelligent like yourself," his dad says. marianne scolds him quietly, and lynn can feel harry tensing next to him.

part of her wants harry to stick up for her, but he doesn't. instead, he pushes his food around his plate, doesn't even look up from the table. each second of silence that passes feels more suffocating than the last.

"i think six figures for overseeing my bakery that i spent years building is a pretty good career, don't you think, john?" it comes out so incredible rude, but lynn means it. she wasn't going to sit around and feel belittled by grown adults. harry might be able to sit back and take it, but there was no way in hell she was going to do the same.

"kathleen didn't mention it was yours," marianne smiles at her like she's trying to diffuse whatever situation is brewing. "sounds like lots of hard work. we'll have to stop by sometime."

"yeah, maybe," lynn's offering the older woman a smile that was just as fake as hers, and she feels harry nudging her with his elbow as if she was the one who did something wrong. she wasn't going to apologize or whatever the fuck harry wanted her to do, so instead she excuses herself to the bathroom.

when lynn had brought up the idea of fake dating, she had assumed it would be more of a social media relationship. he could change his facebook status to in a relationship —with lynn adams, and lynn would post a few instagram stories. nothing too crazy, just a little soft launching to keep her friends off her back. nothing could have prepared her for something like this.

when she returns to the table, her dinner dish is cleared, and instead there is a small dessert plate sitting in it's place. there's a sheet cake sitting in the center of the table, and gemma is smiling uncomfortably as her husband takes a picture of her with it. when she sits down, she's able to catch the "congratulations gemma" written in pink icing. god, this was going to be a long night.

lynn's in the kitchen washing the dinner dishes when his family decides to call it a night. they don't come in to say goodbye to her, and she thanks god because lynn doesn't think she could stand to be around them for two more minutes.

"lynn," harry's leaning against the door frame, and lynn keeps her back to him. she shuts off the water even though half of the dishes were still remaining, and dries her hands with the dish rag sitting next to the sink.

"lynn," he tries again. "i'm sorry."

"why don't you stand up to them?" she leans against his sink. "i would never let my dad talk to you like that, harry. especially if you were doing me a favor like this."

"what?" his eyes move from the ground to her face. "what about the way you spoke to him?"

"im not apologizing for that," she scoffs. "he had no right to speak to me like that."

"he's an adult and you're-"

"an adult too," she pushes past him because quite honestly she was done with this conversation. lynn puts on her shoes by his front door and ignores harry repeatedly asking her where she's going before storming over to jackie's apartment.

18 JUNE 2018

"yeah, she's here," she hears jackie's sleepy voice coming from her front door. "sorry she worried you, harry. see you tomorrow."

lynn pretends she's been fast asleep when jackie gently rubs her arm and asks if she wants to move to the guest room.

19 JUNE 2018

"im just saying, why do we have to still be in class when she doesn't."

"okay, you've got a point," jackie's swinging her feet while she sits on the stool at his breakfast bar. "at least we get to work together though."

harry passes her mug across the bar, "yeah, i guess so."

professor sullivan canceled their class today, and instead sent everyone a link to a hefty seven-five-question pop quiz, and harry was less than thrilled about it. especially because the cancellation email was sent out thirty minutes before class started.

"i think we should take yours first. that way we can use my course material to answer," jackie takes a sip of the coffee harry made her and hums. "and then we can take pictures of each answer and use them to answer mine."

and that's what they do. harry reads the question, jackie looks up the answer, and then he takes a photo of whatever answer they've selected. it takes nearly an hour and a half and three cups of coffee to complete the seventy-five questions. harry even apologizes at one point because his folgers and chobani sweet cream coffee creamer is no match to jackie's oat milk lattes. she only smiles at him, and takes a second cup.

"oh my god," harry leans over to look at the girl's laptop screen.

"we should've known the questions were going to be in random order," harry taps his phone screen. "i can take yours for you if you want. so you don't miss your next class."

"thanks, but that one was canceled, too. i think they're having a power outage in that building."

jackie and harry sit there for another two hours taking her quiz. she reads the first few words of three questions at a time and harry goes through all seventy-five photos to see which one held the correct answer. the two move from coffee to the half-empty bottle of red wine harry had started drinking last night, and by the time they're done, they're sitting on his couch with merlot-stained lips and two '96%'s displayed on their laptop screens.

and harry really doesn't know what led to them eating dinner at his kitchen table, but they do. they're eating cheap chinese food right out of the container along with a few more glasses of red wine. at one point, they forget the glasses altogether and pass a freshly opened bottle back and forth between them until it's nearly empty.

"i don't think you're as mean as lynn says you are," jackie says, her lips pressed to the bottle.

harry feels like he's been punched in the stomach when he realizes lynn had told her about their situation. not because he was embarrassed, but because he really, really wanted to taste the merlot on jackie's lips.

"it's an open relationship," harry says, and jackie offers him a closed-lipped smile. "we could-"

"ask me another time," the girl interrupts. "when i haven't had a bottle of wine."

jackie stands up and takes most of their dinner mess to the kitchen before harry stands up to help her. they throw most of it away, and jackie puts their dirty silverware into his dishwasher.

they're standing by his front door a few moments later. neither of them are talking, but jackie's looking at harry in a way that makes his entire body warm.

"for the record," her finger runs along the side of his hand. "i really wanted to say yes. goodnight harry."

22 JUNE 2018

lynn's been sitting outside jackie's apartment with two full boxes of pastries she had stolen from her bakery before it closed today for at least twenty minutes. she knocked for a solid five minutes before resorting to calling the girl. she had gotten to call number thirty-seven when the elevator dinged and jackie walked out with harry trailing right behind her.

"hey," lynn calls for their attention. "i've been calling you."

her friend shrugs and lynn pretends not to notice the way harry's lips are faintly stained red. or the way the red is the exact same shade as the girl's lipstick. "must've left my phone."

jackie unlocks her door and invites the two inside and lynn waits for harry to be right behind her before whispering an "expected nothing less" which makes harry roll his eyes.

"you said this was an open relationship, lynn," harry says. the two are whisper arguing in the doorway of the apartment while the sound of jackie rummaging through her liquor cabinet echoes around them.

"yeah, open as in you're free to sleep with a random girl from the bar. i didn't mean..." her voice falls because she's not really sure what she meant. "whatever, these are for your parents. my apologies for being a bitch the other night."

"maybe you should bring them back tomorrow... for the dinner you're supposed to be attending."

"i'd actually rather kill myself," she says. "tell them i said hello."

"you promised, lynn," his voice is soft. like he's pleading with her rather than yelling at her in a way that jackie can't hear, and he's rocking on his feet moving just the slightest bit closer to her.

"and you promised you'd come to my sister's dance recital today," she pushes the boxes further into his chest. "i can assume you were busy with something other than your journalism quiz."

"something in addition to my journalism quiz," and lynn wants to smack the smirk right off of his face. this whole thing made her feel a little sick. "please lynn, i'll come to the next one. i swear."

"since you've supplied the last two times," jackie's standing in front of them with a bottle of jack in one hand and two cans of coke in the other. she smiles one of the smiles lynn used to find so comforting, but this time, it only makes her stomach churn.

it wasn't even two weeks ago when jackie was so concerned about her. she doesn't understand how she could go from that to whatever the hell she was doing with harry. lynn wouldn't have minded (at least she thinks so), but jackie could've at least asked her. harry was her boyfriend after all.

lynn leaves jackie's apartment with the two pastry boxes, dinner plans for tomorrow, and silas on facetime.

"please tell me it's not as weird as it makes me feel," lynn props her phone against the dashboard so she can see silas's face.

"honestly el... you're sure you told her you were together?"

lynn nods and turns her blinker on to get out of the complex. "after i told her how horrible he had been to me, too."

she had already told silas about the fake relationship because the two tell each other everything. "he probably showed a little interest in her. think about it. chad and her broke up how long ago and she still talks about it."

"i don't think she's that desperate for male attention."

"maybe not. but definitely desperate enough for attention from people who resemble chad."

lynn hums, "yeah probably."

"i cannot put into words how much i hate chad." silas says. "jackie deserved so much better than him."

"what if harry's that, and im just standing in their way?"

silas frowns at her. "i find harry extremely attractive, but i would never do that to you, lynn. open relationship or not. there's just some lines you don't cross."

"yeah," she's not sure if she agrees with silas entirely. "i don't know. we're not even together. i have no reason to be mad."

"she thinks you two are together. that's a little fucked up, lynn," and really she's nothing but grateful for silas. he always made everything feel just a little bit more okay. like she wasn't crazy for being upset with jackie. "i'll talk to her and see where her head's at."

"have i told you how grateful i am for you?"

"not today," he grins. "but i do take venmo and paypal. i'll send the handles your way."

#harry styles #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles x oc #fine line #dadrry #if you squint #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry #harry styles smut #harry styles series #baker!harry #fluff #angst

37 notes · View notes

toffeelemon · 8 months

Text

I don’t feel like our love is brand new. There must have been lovers, soulmates, before us, experiencing what we get to have. And it’s giving me comfort to imagine there will be many more like us to come. Our kind of love is the kind of love that makes this rotten world worth living in.

prince simon in madrid

a pilgrimage along the world that @prince-simon created 🥹

Simon’s neighbourhood, Chueca

“It’s actually the Queer Neighbourhood of Madrid, and coincidentally also where I live.” He lowered his voice as if to tell a secret, “It’s actually not a coincidence at all.” (chapter 2)

Casa de Campo (view from the Royal Palace lol oop)

Wilhelm didn’t even recognise himself. He didn’t think he’d ever looked that happy. And Simon… his eyes were closed and his curls were a mess and Wilhelm had never seen anyone more beautiful. (chapter 3)

El Retiro

Simon looked at Wilhelm much too adoringly for a statement this goofy. “The ducks are gay!” He yelled at Santiago and Paula, “Just so you know!” (chapter 9)

Palacio de Cristal

“Here’s a funny thought - bear with me, okay? But just imagine. Flowers. Everywhere, like on the ceiling, up the walls. Fairy lights scattered all through it. It would be so gorgeous as a- uh, like. For a wedding…” Realising where his train of thought had gotten him, Wilhelm fell quiet, looking at Simon with wide eyes. (chapter 9)

El Palacio Real de Madrid (more specifically the Throne Room lmfao)

Simon traced his fingers over the bruises on Wilhelm’s neck and in the opening of his dress shirt, humming contentedly. Wilhelm followed the movement in the mirror, and marvelled at how good they looked together, how well they fit together and how much Simon belonged right here – on the throne, with Wilhelm. He deserved the world and so much more. (chapter 12)

Museo Nacional del Prado

Around them, the other visitors kept moving, admiring the art on the walls, and for the moment Wilhelm felt infinite, imagining himself a painting, looked at and analysed hundreds of years from now. El Abrazo de los Príncipes.

Lo Spasimo, Raphael, 1515-1517

“Are we allowed to kiss in front of Jesus on his way to crucifixion or is that tasteless? Because I really want to kiss you right now, Simon.”

Las Meninas, Diego Velázquez, 1656

“He made me look at Velázquez in the painting and how he was looking back at the viewer, at me. I still remember the exact tone of his voice, how he was so certain when he told me that I had every right to be where I am. That I am the subject of this painting, the king being painted. All those tyrants, King Felipe and Emmanuel and all those that came in between, they are trapped in that mirror forever while I am here, alive, we’re here. Velázquez is looking at two queer princes, ready to paint us.” (chapter 13)

Casa Alberto

“So, tell me more about this special part of Madrileñan history.” He was slightly teasing but mostly actually curious.

Simon seemed all too eager to answer that question, and it hit Wilhelm how genuine Simon’s care for his city — his country — and its people was. It made him a little sad to know that a lot of people didn’t get to see that because they only focused on Simon being too gay or too Latino, or even just too carefree and enjoying life because he was young, to be their future king.

bonus content:

Iglesia de San Antonio de los Alemanes (where Simon goes to church)

“I think I need to go somewhere.”

“Oh?” Wilhelm said softly, “Right now?”

Simon hesitated before he nodded. “I need to- get some clarity? Or - I hope that I’ll get it there?” He whispered, voice shaky.

“Do you want to tell me where you’re going?”

“To- uh, to pray? I mean- to church? I don’t know if I’ll pray…” Simon’s voice was shaky, uncertainty shining in his eyes when he dared to look up at Wilhelm. (chapter 11)

#god i don’t think i have immerse myself into a fictional world so deeply before #this story lives and breathes #and i love what it has given me god to imagine when i read the first chapter i have not moved countries or gotten a cursed degree yet #he feels like a friend i held by the hand and walked through adventures together🥹#i really went to a particular restaurant and ordered particular dishes because i read about it in a book #and it was as magical as i imagined heheh #(including the snails sksksk)#prince simon i love you forever #prince simon au #prescribing everyone a reread Right Now!#give me attention and i’ll come back with extra pics of the food sksk #simon’s depression church is not mentioned in Text but this is canon source hehe #i’m not the first person to visit pscu locations and i love everyone who’s done it what a great idea it was so fun!#yes i know you’re not supposed to take photos in the prado but then i remembered this was built by a colonial powerhouse then felt less bad

46 notes · View notes

carmendeiact2whenplz · 1 month

Note

Sometimes I wonder what the nameless bard's situation is like with regards to his family, especially since he seems he was very young yet played such a strong role in the rebellion. Did he have parents or parental figures? Was he an orphan, with just a wind spirit to keep him company? If not, did Venti know his family and pay them a visit after accending to godhood and taking their kid's image? Or did life under Decarabian micromanage families apart from each other and they never cared for him nor did he really know them, or was life expectancy not all that long under Decarabian's rule and orphans were common? I really really wonder what an average person's life was like under a god who doesn't understand humanity but micromanages and watches over everything and the sort of world the nameless bard would have grew up in that resulted in his befriending a wind spirit and leading a rebellion

To me, I’ve always headcanoned NB as someone who’s biological parents either died or left him when NB was very young/a toddler, so he most likely didn’t have any memories of them. He’s (many of the things i’m about to say are entirely headcanons/theories, with nothing in canon) lived out a lot of his life on the streets, relying on the hospitality of strangers and donations from his own performances to survive, but oftentimes he had to steal to survive in case those things failed him. He’s never gotten a proper education, but he’s thankful he managed to teach himself how to read, write, and do basic arithmetic, otherwise he couldn’t be where he is now (as in “being a rebellion leader known for freeing Mondstadt from its tyrannical leader”, and not as in “dead”).

As for wispti/wisp venti, I headcanon as NB having met them a few years before he died (I hc NB as having died around 16-17, so that means he would have met wispti around 12-13).

In my opinion, the order he met the old mond gang is met wispti -> met the redhaired warrior a few months later -> met Amos (NB met her in person and maybe had a few conversations but they still distrusted eachother) -> met Gunnhildr some time after that -> Amos joins the rebellion. The Old Mond Gang is extremely found family to me, and I hc that if things weren’t The Way They Were, Amos and/or RHW would have legally adopted NB (coparenting).

I think that most of the people in Old Mond didn’t have that much money, and people living past 50 was very rare. Not only was medicine not very advanced, but there was most likely not a lot of clean water and food available (farming either had very poor crop turnouts or needed special machinery and mechanics to even make possible), so illnesses and starvation were the most common causes of death, and the mental health of people weren’t much better. Interestingly enough, while it makes a lot of sense for there to be a lot of poorer people, I am curious if there were any extremely rich people other than decarabian himself. We don’t know much about any sort of nobility hierarchy, and since decarabian (probably) isn’t human, royalty couldn’t have been a status granted by a bloodline. The only thing we canonically know is that he did have slaves/servants, and Gunnhildr’s dad did work under him (nothing is elaborated on what he actually did). Which also begs the question of what role Amos actually had. I’ve seen so many thoughts and theories on what her and decarabian’s relation was like on a personal level, but not much about what it was like politically. While their marital status is unknown, if anything, canon hints that they aren’t married, but me personally I headcanon them as being married (mostly for political reasons) and Amos being the “Queen” of old mondstadt, second-in-command only behind decarabian himself, although how much power, money and influence she had prior to leaving him and/or joining the rebellion is up for debate.

Side note- I do find it funny to headcanon NB’s parents as being alive and having somehow fled to another nation. They’re having a conversation about how their son is a teenager at that point and is probably in his “rebellious phase”, being unaware until years later that his rebellious phase is over, not because he’s an adult but because he died. from the rebellion. that he staged. to kill a god

#old mondstadt #theories #hoyoverse PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE #genshin impact #ough

14 notes · View notes

toruq · 1 month

Note

im sending u these ones specifically bc i know ur less connected to ur mc than to anne muhahaha >:333

12. What does your character look like? Which hairstyle and make up do you prefer on them?

13. What is your character's name? Do you wish to change it, if the function ever makes its way into the game?

14. How do you dress your character? Do you coordinate the outfits between Rider and Horse?

and if u feel like it im curious about these:

23. Which Druid Circle do you prefer? Is there a reason for your preference? Is it tied to the Soul Rider of the Circle?

20. What part of the Main Story is your favorite?

11. How many horses do you own in total? Did it use to be more, or are you still missing a few?

04. Which Horse was your first purchase? Do you still own that horse, and what did you name it?

05. Which Horse is your favorite? Do you own said horse, or are you simply dreaming of buying it?

juni you must hate me or something

under the cut because there's so much to answer (mostly about my mc that i neglect so hard)

12. What does your character look like? Which hairstyle and make up do you prefer on them?

ok, here is ida. i draw her based on the old player model but in the new player model she looks a bit different. I use this chunky highlight hair because it somewhat hides the fact that her ears stick out now when wearing a hat/helmet (this pisses me off the most about the new characters). but she used to have this black hair, and of course dark eye makeup. it's a lot like what i do irl

13. What is your character's name? Do you wish to change it, if the function ever makes its way into the game?

Ida Riverwood! I don't ever want to change it. I actually really like it and I'm surprised my kid self was smart enough to choose that

14. How do you dress your character? Do you coordinate the outfits between Rider and Horse?

you can kinda see how i dress her in those pics of her, usually a dark color scheme and yes I coordinate it with the horse. I actually dress her in a lot of sweaters and typically with proper breeches and tall boots and helmet as if it were a regular english outfit irl. I occasionally dress her and her horse in western gear, or use streetwear if she's off the horse

23. Which Druid Circle do you prefer? Is there a reason for your preference? Is it tied to the Soul Rider of the Circle?

you may be surprised, but I like the moon circle just a smidgen more than the sun circle, though they are in close competition. I just love the aspects of both of them, visions & teleportation. I find it so interesting and quite applicable to real life, at least personally, because of how I experience life with PTSD. it is easy to convey my mind through comics about the powers of these circles.

20. What part of the Main Story is your favorite?

oh my, if you can count the storyline in SSL as a predecessor to SSO, i would say Anne's first trip to Pandoria to save Concorde. in SSO, it's surprising but seeing Anne without saving her must have been my favorite. I was disappointed with the actual saving Anne quest, but seeing Pandoria for the first time in SSO was an experience I won't forget, even though I prefer the atmosphere of Pandoria in SSL

11. How many horses do you own in total? Did it use to be more, or are you still missing a few?

oh my. 64. I once sold the green whinfell because i found it so ugly. But I felt so bad and rebought it a year or two ago.

04. Which Horse was your first purchase? Do you still own that horse, and what did you name it?

this little POS, Carrotwinner. I still have him. pic taken just now

05. Which Horse is your favorite? Do you own said horse, or are you simply dreaming of buying it?

can you logically ask me this question Juni?

just kidding, my favorite (purchasable) horse is this little guy, and I'm so lucky to have him. I think he was either the second or third old fjord I bought, and I have three. the white one, and orange thing I also have.

#sso #ssoblr #my art #asks

11 notes · View notes

kikikiwi27498 · 6 months

Note

Good morning darling! Here are some more yr fic asks! I'm curious about 20, 36, 37, 42 and 44 💜

Wish you a splendiferous Sunday!

Hello! Thank you so much for asking, and sorry this took so long! Work has been crazy and I might have gone a little overboard haha. I'm going to answer everything in one ask, so here are numbers 6-13 as well. Also these are basically all Wilmon fics because I love those boys so much.

From the 2023 Young Royals Fanfic Ask List: (I'll do more of these if people want, I love talking about fics)

6. Favorite one-shot fanfic: Pretty much everything by NerdGirl07, especially Promise Me (You're Safe) and Centre of the Storm.

7. Favorite chaptered fanfic: I have so may favorites. As Long As We Have Each Other by groenendael (@groenendaelfic) is my current favorite post-season 2 fic. Right now I'm reading Doesn't Everyone Belong in the Arms of the Sacred by painterssong (@alltoowille) and I'm loving it.

8. Fluff recommandation: This is such an angst-heavy fandom, sometimes it's hard to find pure fluff. I loved Playing House by LovelyLittleLosers (@lovelylittlelosers), Wille experiencing normal things, even just getting lost in Ikea, brings me so much joy.

9. Crack recommandation: Simon Eriksson: Just Some Guy From Biology and Patience Is A Virtue and I Have None, both by fandom_commitment_issues (@zee-has-commitment-issues).

10. Smut recommandation: Love Would be Burning Red by embracethevoid (@ungaroyals) and disruptedthesky (@omar-rudeberg) and You Can Send Me to the Lord by YoungRydbergs for smut with plot. They're both parts of series, so you might want to read the other parts first, especially for You Can Send Me to the Lord. If you want smut with less plot, I liked the Sense and Sensuous series by YulianaHenderson. (one of these days I need to make a spicy fic rec list)

11. Angst recommandation: This fandom writes so many incredible angst fics, it's hard for me to pick! I loved A Palm to My Mouth, I Said it, Almost by MyArtificialFlowers and It's All So Incredibly Loud by pysanky (@pysankywrites-updates). Please read the tags before reading these, they are both very angsty.

12. Kid fic recommandation: I love kid fics so much and girl dads Wilmon even more, though I have many thoughts about whether Wilmon would want their kids to grow up royal. Some of my favorites are Thoughts On a Stormy Night by LaChicaMarvel and Painted Memories by NerdGirl07, as well as When Dividing up the Universe, You Could Have Mine by the_old_stairs.

13. Christmas fic recommendation: And That's How Simon Got Banned from Christmas Decorating by ASkyofKai. If you want a slightly angsty one, Merry Crisis by pysanky (@pysankywrites-updates) - ngl I'm low-key obsessed with the Third Year Things series, it's perfect and everyone should go read it right now. (if anyone knows any other third year Wilmon fics please let me know, I'm dying to read more)

20. Your « not Wilmon » favorite ship/couple: Henry/Walter (do they have a ship name?? Wenry? Halter?) probably. It's an angsty post-breakup fic, but I loved Closure by stretchoutandwait (@stretchoutfics).

36. Your favorite trope: This is kind of basic, but I love friends to lovers. I'll also always read a sick fic where Character A has to take care of Character B (bonus points if Character B insists Character A leaves so they don't get sick, and/or they deny that they're sick), such as Baby, You're the Cure (So Let Me Close to You) by isnt_that_wizard (@skateboardtotheheart) - it's part of a series, but you can read it on its own.

37. The trope you didn't expect to like: Only Fools Remain Sane by Elin98 made me love fake dating.

42. Do you like to comment on the fic you read: I do! I'm just really bad at doing it consistently because I tend to write whole essays so it takes me a long time.

44. On what device do you read: Mostly my phone, but I use my laptop too.

#katie answers #katie's fic recs #darktwistedgenderplural #young royals #young royals fan fiction #fan fiction

23 notes · View notes

portablecity · 8 months

Text

So, some news: tomorrow morning I'm having surgery on my right arm - my dominant arm - my drawing arm, my writing arm, my brushing-my-teeth and typing-in-chat and unlocking-my-door arm - and will lose most use of it for years, and an unknown (but hopefully less dire) amount of use of it forever. As you might expect, this sucks so, so bad.

As you can see above, I have been trying to proactively warm up my left hand so I can still write and such once this happens. As you might also detect above, it has not felt great.

(complements on my left-handed writing are not welcome; the feel of it is so alien that even if it looked perfect, i'd be upset)

So while I go in to get that done, I was wondering if you'd be willing to reply or repost or something with a thing you like about my work that isn't about how it looks? So I can go back to this post when I get real depressed afterwards and remind myself I'm more than my line quality?

And if you are curious, slightly more explanation with anatomical specifics below the cut:

so it turns out I have a peripheral nerve tumour on my radial nerve above my elbow in my right arm - it's been slowly preventing me from lifting up my index finger (extending it) and more and more the rest of my hand's extension has been weakening. scans show muscle atrophy in my forearm, so not only is the nerve weakening, it's been weakening long enough that the muscles are getting noticeably less use.

from what we know, the tumour is benign, but it's not possible to remove it without removing a chunk of the nerve, and likely fully severing the nerve. and though benign, the tumour has been steadily growing and is likely to continue doing so, where it would eventually effectively sever the nerve all on its own.

so this is a preventative surgery where we take the tumour out before it withers all the radial offshoot nerves farther down my arm, and graft in a spare (well, less important) nerve from my ankle, and hope that the graft takes and the nerve has a chance to heal and then let me rebuild my muscles and recover some hand and wrist extension. How much is not known. Complete recovery is impossible - some nerves in there are already dead and no amount of grafts and occupational therapy can change that, and more will wither while we're waiting for the graft to heal.

Motor nerves can only heal for so long, so I'll know more about my expected lifetime function in a few years. Likeliest outcome is followup tendon reassignment surgery to try and fill any dire functional gaps, and then what will presumably be a bit of a mind-fuck of physio trying to teach my brain that one of my flexion muscles will then be responsible for extension of fingers or wrist or something.

What's confusing about this is, my other arm nerves are all fine.

Ulnar? Doing great. Those nerves you fuck up with carpal tunnel? that I fucked up in 2008 and have spent a decade and a half taking very careful care of? really solid, healthy nerves! good job past Shel!

So I'm certainly not losing 100% of hand function; I'll still be able to curl my fingers and thumb and actively bend my wrist down - I just likely won't be able to reverse all those movements. Hell, already I can tell how much weaker my right hand is at typing - writing this after a day of spreadsheets at work is really wearing it down.

It's surreal how much all i feel is grief about this. There's no one to be mad at, not even myself - it just, sucks. Can you hold a funeral for your handwriting? your markmaking language? your line quality? your ability to touch type up to 140 words per minute? your confident, trained, controlled method of self-expression? RIP, radial nerve. I already miss you.

It's been a 13 month gauntlet of medical appointments since I first saw a neurologist about this and it's a relief to finally have the surgery, but i do really appreciate all the other scans and tests and biopsies - they gave me enough information to make this legit horrible decision to try and save what function I can for tomorrow by making today awful. And to try and become ambidextrous, I guess, because god knows I'm not stopping making art simply because my body betrayed me. It'll just be ... not what I think of as my art, for a while, at least.

#crosspost #life stuff #news #artist life #health stuff #nerves

40 notes · View notes

cafeinthemoon · 1 year

Text

Ruins - Part XV

Chapter 15

Wordcount 2,2k

Title Part XV

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: none

Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko @shirayuki-ayumi (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: I've been thinking that this chapter should have been more intense, and longer, and that has been holding me back, but after revising its draft I decided that it's good the way it is: direct, simple and romantic just as their relationship. The dinner/picnic scene was actually an idea I had a long time ago, when I was still writing the first chapter of this story, and I almost discarded it because I couldn't find a moment to include it in any of the previous chapters, but the idea of turn it into one of the most important moments of their relationship came recently, and I decided to try it out. I hope it turned out good XD

In your heart, you already decided you would stay with him.

Every moment you’ve spent together in that blessed land, from the very first words you’ve exchanged to the latest goodnight, every meal you shared, every study session, every conversation, every new, sweet discovery – everything you’ve experienced together wasn’t but the confirmation of what you knew by instinct since that day at the Library, when you’ve put your eyes on him for the first time: your dreams didn’t lie, and your souls belonged together.

It’s been months since then, and the guardianship period was approaching its end. Each human present would have to decide their destiny, whether staying with their gods or returning to Midgard, leaving their position to the ones who would be chosen the next year. Most of the girls to whom you’ve talked already did their choice, and they were as anxious to formalize them as yourself, but when they questioned you about your own future, the only thing you were able to say was that you just wanted your announcement to be a special occasion for you and for the god you loved.

***

You were on your day off and went to the kitchen by afternoon, by the hours that preceded the preparations for dinner: you knew the elves would be too busy soon and wanted to avoid causing troubles for them. Besides, the human girls used to arrive after those hours, and you were trying not to face curious inquiries, thus becoming the topic of gossip.

There were three elves at the kitchen by the time you entered it. If they were surprised to see a human there at that moment, they hid it very well, but no questions about your coming were necessary, for you soon asked their permission to use a corner with a sink and a small table to prepare a meal for two. As soon as they allowed you, you started to work. Of course, they were curious – maybe more than the girls would be if they saw you there – but no one dared ask anything.

You didn’t know how long you’ve been there, but you only noticed you were completely alone when the playful voice of Hermes reached your ears since the kitchen’s door, making you stop your hands and raise your head from the bowls.

– Diligent as always.

You turned to him and your heart warmed up to the smile he had on his face. It’s been a while since you had the chance to properly talk: Hermes was occupied with the matters of the guardianship and the personal needs of the girls, and you were busy with your own preparations and the management of your relationship with Hades, so that your tasks and preoccupations would mostly lead you to different directions, but you still had that friendship you started developing since the when you came to his chambers to talk.

– It’s good to see you too, Hermes-sama – you replied, turning back to your task – I’ll be leaving soon, I promise. I don’t want to disturb the routine of the elves and make my human friends starve.

The gods’ messenger laughed as he stopped by your side, observing the progress of your work. You didn’t need to give him any explanations about it.

– You are really invested in your new role, aren’t you? – he commented, smelling the content of the bowl you had before you; and, with a smirk, – If all of this doesn’t convince him that you will be the perfect wife, I don’t know what will.

You couldn’t see your own face when you heard that, but you were sure you became the personification of embarrassment; you knew that if you tried to hide it from Hermes, you would just make a mess instead of finishing your work, so you just stopped and decided that he was going to be the first person to know about your choice.

You leaned on the sink, cleaning your hands with a cloth.

– Hermes-sama… since you were the first person to whom I talked when I met him, I think it’s only fair that you become the first one to hear about this – you left the cloth on the sink and smiled – I will formalize my decision of staying by his side this evening. Of course, my wish to stay is clear to him, but I want to give him a proper answer, so I’m working on it right now – you indicated the food.

The god opened a genuine smile of contentment with your words.

– So, there is no longer doubts in your heart, y/n?

You sensed your eyes getting filled with tears.

– No, not a single one!

– Are you scared?

– Yes, of course I am! – you laughed – But I don’t care! I’m going to do what I have to do, that’s all that matters!

By everything you’ve seen from him, you could tell that physical affection wasn’t among the most prominent trait of Hermes’ personality (given that he barely hid his surprise when you hugged him after leaving the party), but he seemed to find appropriate to make an exception that time: approaching you and holding your face, he left a tiny kiss on your forehead, as an uncle or an older brother would do.

– If this is the case – he stated with a proud smile – Welcome to the family.

You thanked his reception and, precisely because of it, you felt a bit ashamed for what you were going to do next, but you also knew there wouldn’t be a better time for it.

– Hermes-sama, I know it can sound absurd to do this when I just joined your family, but…-- you brushed your hair behind your ear – May I ask you a little favor?

He laughed.

– If it’s under my reach, I don’t see any problem.

You shrugged.

– Well, I believe it is, because it’s about a message I want to deliver.

His eyes glowed.

– A message?

– Yes. Today is our day off, so we have no studying sessions – you explained – Hades-sama has been occupied with other things and I decided to take the free time I have to manage the matters concerning us. I want to communicate my decision to him, but I want to make something special – you indicated the things you were preparing – So, if it’s not too much trouble… Can you tell him to meet me in the Secret Garden, near the fountain, this evening? He would know exactly which place I’m talking about.

– Ah, I know that place too – he gave you a playful blink of his right eye – And let me say that you couldn’t choose a better spot for this. So, of course I can deliver your message. I’ll talk to him as soon as I can.

You nodded in respect for the god’s help.

– Thank you so much, Hermes-sama. You’re really a true friend.

– You don’t need to thank me, y/n-chan – Hermes gave you a soft smile – I am a messenger. This isn’t but my job.

***

That evening was as beautiful as the ones that preceded it, but to you it was superior: the rosy and purplish shades of the skies were more vivacious; the warmth of the air was more pleasant; the song of the birds sounded sweeter to your ears, and the perfume of the flowers was more seductive.

You were on the bench at that spot in the Secret Garden where the fountain was, the same place where you talked and shared your first kiss. Besides the main recipe, you’ve put in the basket some of his favorite desserts, as well as a pair of fine tea cups that matched the teapot where you’ve put the pomegranate tea. As you organized everything upon the bench, you couldn’t help wondering if everything was well settled, if the food was really tasteful or if you chose the most appropriate spot to eat.

You were so concentrated in your task that his arrival went unnoticed by you until he decided to speak.

– Hermes said you wanted to meet me here.

You startled when Hades’ voice reached your ears, which made both of you laugh.

– By the place you chose, I can tell it’s something special – as he approached the bench, the sweet smell of the pots seemed to please his nostrils – Yes, not only by the place, but by your work as well.

You smiled.

– Thank you – you opened a pot and started to fill a plate with food – I was never good with surprises, but I thought it was worth trying this time.

Hades sat by your side, and you gave him the plate and the cutlery.

– Thank you – he whispered; then, looking around, – Isn’t it curious that the moths and bugs didn’t come to share the dinner with us?

You stopped and looked around too, surprised.

– You’re right! It’s strange I didn’t notice it until now...

He didn’t continue to discuss this, but you observed the way he looked at the surroundings as if he had something in mind; whatever he might have thought, however, the time to speak about it didn’t come yet, and you forgot the case.

Hades changed the subject.

– So… Won’t you tell me what is this all about?

You took a cup to yourself and filled it with the tea.

– I will, but, first, I need you to try this – you pointed the plate in his hand – Depending on your response, I will decide how I will proceed.

– You’re acting so mysterious that you’re starting to scare me, little one – he smirked, alternating his gaze between you and the food – What are you up to?

Your cheeks warmed up and you laughed.

– Don’t worry, there’s no spell in it! You haven’t told me anything about magic yet, remember?

Laughing too, he accepted to try your food at last, and you followed him before the bugs appeared to participate in the feast.

***

In the end, Hades approved the dinner, and he made sure you knew it while helping you to put the used plates back inside the basket.

– So, you did all of this by yourself, little one? – he was saying – It was wonderful. Why did you hide such talent until now?

You laughed.

– It wasn’t on purpose, I swear. I just don’t see it as a great talent – you shrugged – I only know the basics on cooking. But, if this is your response to it, I think I can continue.

He crossed his legs.

– Well, I’m all ears.

You breathed deep, took the basket and placed it behind your spot, approaching him.

– The period of the girls’ guardianship is almost over. It means that my time here is almost over as well – you took his hands on yours upon your lap the same way you did when you talked at the night of the party – And I made my decision.

You saw the glimmer in his eyes, preceding the emotions you later sensed in his voice.

– You did?

– Actually, I did it a long time ago, but I wanted to make a proper announcement – a tear fell through your cheek, tickling your skin as you smiled; you wiped it and approached his hands to our lips, covering them in kisses – I’ll stay with you.

After saying those words, you caught every subtle change in his ecstatic expression, the slight blush on his cheeks and the sweet smile growing on his lips, and the first sign of tears filling his eyes, and everything you saw there convinced you that there were few things in this world that can compare to seeing true love in someone’s face.

Heavens… he never looked so beautiful.

– So... you’re saying yes, y/n? – his hands cupped your face, his thumbs caressing your skin as if you were his most precious jewel – You’re staying with me?

You put your own hands upon his.

– I am... To you, I would say yes a thousand times.

Your throat tightened with emotion when you realized that, given you just accepted to be transformed into a goddess, your words gained a literal sense, and you would have the chance to give him thousands of positive answers for the next ages. Hades was aware of this too, and his response to this was to uncross his legs and take you on his lap and, just like he did when you went there for the first time, cover you in kisses; you, surrounding his neck with your hands, focused all your attention in giving him the sweetest reciprocation, enjoying the remaining taste of pomegranate on his lips.

For the past months, you’ve worked well in your verbal communication, but that time no words were needed: your mutual understanding has reached a point where entire sentences could be replaced by a touch, a caress that would say the same twice as deep, and where you didn’t have to worry about anything, for the kind of love you built was functional with both your mouths together or separated.

There were still other important matters to solve, of course: you would have to send a message to your family; you would have to talk to your parents about the future you chose to yourself, apart from your people – apart from them; Psyche’s ritual, the celebration, your presentation as a new deity and your honeymoon. But that wasn’t the moment to discuss any of this: that was the moment to enjoy yourselves. The time to plan, to manage and organize the officialization of your union was yet to come.

And, fortunately for you, time was the least of your preoccupations now.

Part XVI

#snv hades #ror hades #hades x reader #snv hermes #snv hades x reader #ror hermes #ror hades x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie hades x reader #record of ragnarok hades x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie hades #record of ragnarok hades #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #record of ragnarok x reader

70 notes · View notes