#fuck I didn't think I'd be so worked up about this

[emiko-matsui]

Okay, I just need to get something out of the way when it comes to the Kipperlilly conversation nobody's brought up yet, which I think is insane. Almost all of The Bad Kids would be more powerful if they didn't have their tragedy porn tragic backstories.

First of all, this doesn't apply to Fig and Gorgug because if Fig wasn't Gorthalax's child she would be a lot like Kipperlilly and not the ruler of hell. I wouldn't say Gorgug has a tragic backstory, he's got a pretty normal growing up experience with ups and downs.

Let's start with her #1 nemesis, Riz Gukgak. She's so jealous that his dad was murdered and that gives him an advantage in the adventuring life. To be crude, no, it doesn't. What would give Riz an advantage in the adventuring life would be living with someone who has a direct contact to all the government's inner workings and conspiracies. Now that would be an advantage. That gives you connections and clues that no one else can get. This is not what happened. What happened was eating cereal with water for breakfast, what happened was not getting an opportunity at college, what happened was a 9 year old who stopped sleeping, what happened was not your secret agent dad giving you an advantage in the school conspiracy because he's dead. Otherwise he fucking would've.

And now Kipperlilly's new #1 nemesis, Kristen Applebees. She was ostracised from her religion for her sexuality, she achieved sainthood, and raised a dead god back to life. None of this would've happened if she hadn't been raised in The Harvestmen. No, it wouldn't, but what would have happened if Kristen had been straight? Disgusting thought, yes, I know, but let's talk about it. A Kristen who never left Helio behind would have so many more fucking advantages than the one with Cassandra has. If she had followed her birthright she would be the only chosen one of one of the world's most powerful gods. Sol is the biggest god in Spyre and Helio is his son. Helio does not have a chosen one anymore because Kristen left. It's not a title that's just given out, it could only have been Kristen. You know what's an advantage? Being the chosen one of one of the world's most powerful gods, being a god's spoken favourite, and deified by all of that god's followers. Now that would be an unfair advantage. You know what's not an advantage? Being homeless at 14 and being at the mercy of your ex-girlfriend's uncle for housing, dying and having absolutely no one there for you so you're only option to survive is to trust your own abilities enough to raise yourself from the dead, and failing school because of biased teachers.

And what of Adaine Abernant? The Elven Oracle? Her tragedy porn tragic backstory is surviving an abusive home. Now I just have to imagine that Adaine would have it a lot easier than most students, an incredible amount of unfair advantages, if her old money parents paid for every wizard whim she wanted, kept her diplomatic immunity so she could do literally anything she wanted without consequences, and gave her a direct contact into the heart of the Fallinell government. Now that is what I would call an insane amount of unfair advantage. I would be furious at this rich kid who's never had to work for anything myself. This is not even close to the case. She's barely passing classes because she can't afford the material you're required, she goes to the guidance counsellor for panic attacks, and she's being hunted by her home government. I'd say that's about every single thing in her life working against her having it easy.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster. He's complicated since he is very privileged already. He gets 5000 gold a month just for existing. He's the captain of the Owlbears because he killed the previous one. He lives alone in a mansion. Yeah, that's pretty privileged. His parents are also so severely fucked up that if they hadn't been filthy rich they would've been absolutely horrible for him. If he had parents who unconditionally supported him and stayed with him through everything, then we could talk about perhaps the most powerful person in Elmville. In Solace possibly. The most feared pirate in history who single-handedly dismantled a monarchy and fights against armies on his own is at your beck and call, does whatever you ask him to, and loves you more than anything. The greatest swordswoman in the world, that bested the most feared pirate in the world, the daughter of one of the most influential elven families and immortal will do anything you ask her, loves you to bits, and would cheat any rules for you. To have that would just be insane. You can argue that Fabian already has unfair advantages because of his social status and inheritance. This is true, but this is also true within his own adventuring party. Now his parents aren't helping him with anything and are determined that he reach his legendary status on his own. Otherwise talk about a fucking advantage.

All this to say is that if Kipperlilly got all of The Bad Kids tragedy porn like she wanted she wouldn't have been better, but she would've made them better. There is an adventuring party out there in the multiverse that has a secret agent at their disposal, the only chosen one of a Sol religion, Bill Seacaster and Hallariel Lomenelda unprompted in their corner, and a seer with unending resources and diplomatic immunity. These would've been people you start a platform about adventuring not being fair for everyone because of. The people you went against was a homeless kid, a kid with an anxiety disorder, a trust fund kid, and someone with PTSD.

I've seen your posts about Kipperlilly being wrong for her validation, but right in the fact that The Bad Kids have been given larger plots and mysteries because of their families and circumstances and I don’t want to fucking see another one. When you make that I want you to think about the adventuring party they would've been without their backstories. The insanely powerful and privileged adventuring party that almost happened. Their life got made worse, not easier because their life could have been so fucking easy. Kipperlilly can take all the tragedy porn she wants and then maybe realise that that's not what makes the adventurer. That the reason she's mad at The Bad Kids is the only reason she can even tangentially compete with them.

#dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #kipperlilly copperkettle #the bad kids #fhjy #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #fabian seacaster #d20 fh #the rat grinders

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (9) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n reunions galore!

masterlist | last part | part 9 | next part (tba)

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chrisyamada

liked by eb_jonno and 482,492 others

chrisyamada was on stage w/ the aussies again 🎸 tagged: emptybottles_official

lukaszhang don't come for my job man ↳ chrisyamada @lukaszhang i can't handle lina for extended periods of time dw about your job security

ceciliapham THEY DID THIS FOR ME AND ME ONLY 😭😭😭

piastri_lina now if i didn't know any better, i'd think this was a soft-launch... ↳ piastri_lina @piastri_lina know ur place christopher yamada

oscarpiastri

liked by selinabui and 213,284 others

oscarpiastri Race week recharge 🔋

pi4str1 convinced that if oscar was to open an oscar.jpg account it would just be all lina

selinabui ur so hot do u have a gf ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui yeah sorry 🫤

piastri_lina boyfie looking boyfie, wifey looking wifey, what is a girl to do 😭😭😭

logansargeant ask her if we can talk again ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant U TOOK ME SERIOUSLY??? IS THIS WHY I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM U???

TWITTER

↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h wait i asked a lina question OH MY GOD PLS PLS PLS CHOOSE THE LINA QUESTION ↳ Williams Racing @ WilliamsRacing · 2h Find out when the episode drops 😉 ↳ jess @OPIXSTRI · 1h OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE ↳ Williams Racing @ WilliamsRacing · 1h Don't die just yet

YOUTUBE

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selinabui Shenzhen, China

liked by oscarpiastri and 264,938 others

selinabui my own kinda home race? tagged: eb_jonno

eb_jonno *OUR* home town performance ↳ selinabui @eb_jonno my bad bro why did u think i tagged u

oscarpiastri How do you still suck at bowling? ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri wdym i won ↳ cameliazzz @ selinabui no you didn't???

pi4str1 same top as the one in oscar's post? ↳ marie_h.sb @pi4str1 pls they think they're so subtle 😭

linasgirl4 SINCE WHEN SELINA. SINCE WHENNNNN ↳ linasgirl4 @linasgirl4 i'm going fucking feral i need to know how long they've been together for my mental health ↳ emptybottlos @linasgirl4 calm the fuck down it's not that serious

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 1d dude are u kidding me? ↳ kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 4h she still got that :] energy 🥹

camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 21h I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAW JONATHAN SU AND SELINA BUI LIVE IN THE FLESH AT THE SHENZHEN FENDI POP-UP ↳ camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 21h i'm not alive i have ascended to a higher plane

president linami @ linaminami · 16h try not to say mother challenge failed. she looks so good wtf

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emptybottlesbar

liked by cameliazzz and 332,974 others

emptybottlesbar Jonny and Lina at the Shenzhen FENDI pop-up store. Did you manage to catch them? tagged: emptybottles_official, selinabui and eb_jonno

selinabui wtf are we pokemon or smth??

eb_jonno was i not photogenic enough, i'll work on it ↳ emptybottlesbar @eb_jonno You were very handsome 💚 ↳ eb_jonno @emptybottlesbar well that's a very nice way of saying i look bad in photos

2cami4lina I DID CATCH THEM AND IT WAS SPECTACULAR

TWITTER

lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 1h oh ttpd, oh how 2021 lina coded it you are ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 1h i need a lina x i can do it with a broken heart edit STAT

emme @flowersforcami · 42m oomf said i can fix him (no really i can) is super lina in her tommy era coded and i can't unhear it now

↳ kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 1h @urdaisea baby girl this is for you 😭 ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 44m HOW ARE THEY SO QUICK OH MY GOD IT'S HEARTBREAKING

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m it's only been like a day since it dropped but i've already been blessed with a so high school oscalina edit the lord is good 🙏 ↳ jackpot ☆ @slayridgo · 30m i wanna be on ur fyp bc i've gotten two 'you look like taylor swift' edits of olivia and lina and it's been depressing

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h lina's stories perfectly encapsulates my april 19 experience, she's the chairman of the swiftie f1 girlie department ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h side note she used one of those oscar gifs from f2 and it's so endearing

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selinabui just posted to their story

trans: brother yu (she uses the fish 'yu' and not zhou guanyu's actual 'yu', again, it's a pun) is awesome!

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

[littlemorningstarx]

Warning: this is fantasy, and only roleplaying between consenting adults would make this scenes okay outside of fantasies, if you can't comprehend consent, go away. I'm very serious about this.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Imagine having a 16yo big brother who loves you so fucking much he can't stand to not touch you all the time. So by the time you're 10yo, you're already used to big bro hugging you, pulling you into his lap and holding you there, and you think nothing of the big bulge in his pants and your little perky ass.

But you're little friends are starting to talk about boys and the forbidden wrong stuff their parents do at night and you're beginning to understand why you're big bro like you so very much:

You can make him feel so good

You're so proud to discover that

So one weekend while you're parents are out of town on a work trip and left you with your brother, you sneak into his room at night time after you're supposed to be asleep and finds him smoking a weird looking cig.

You've seen the older kids smoking these kinds of cigarettes and you're curious. So when you're big brother sees you as you enter the room, you ask him about it.

"It makes you feel good, sis. Com'ere" he says in a soft tone, scutching you in his lap and he's wearing just his boxers. You love the feeling of his skin in yours and cuddles up to him, feeling his cock —your friends taught you the word— twitch under you "try it"

You tale a drag, coughing as the smoke chokes on your throat. Your big bro laughs at you, caressing the exposed skin on your thigh.

"It'll get better, just feel it"

You obey your big brother because you trust him and wants so bad to please him. So you take another hit, then another and another. You squirm a little.

"I feel dizzy" you murmur as you feel your pjs sliding off your body, your skin so sensitive it feels like you're on fire.

"It's normal, sis, and I'll show you what else is normal" your brother tells you and you feel his hands sliding down to your princess parts.

You whine as his fingers brush your pussy, a sensitive button pulsating in the middle of your legs.

"This feels nice" you say and your brother hums in agreement.

"You're dripping so good for your big brother, love" he says in your year as he keeps playing with your pussy, his fingers making you tingly and hot. "Such a good little whore for me"

You moan an agreement even if you don't know exactly what he's talking about, just wanting to make him happy.

"You know, mom wanted to send me away because she thought I might try to hurt you when we were kids, but I don't get it. I'd never hurt my little sis like that." You moan once again, bothered by the idea of your mother sending your big brother away, a possessiveness you didn't know it was possible passing through your heart with all the warmth of big bro's fingers as well.

"It feels so good, so warm, you could never hurt me"

Your brother chuckles.

"Get on all fours for me, love, I'll show you how much your big brother loves you."

It's now, you think mindlessly as you get on all fours as your brother ordered you, although you don't know exactly what you're talking about. Your body seems to know, though, and you can feel your pussy juices making your little holes and thighs wet and sticky, you can feel your little k!d cvnt throb, painfully... Empty?

You don't understand this feeling, but as your big brother gets behind you and you feel something brushing the entry of you hole, it doesn't matter anymore. You don't care that you don't understand, that you don't know anything, that you're being a dump empty-headed toy for your brother.

All that matter is your hole and how much you want it to be full.

And big bro obviously knows that, he knows you better than anyone.

"Awn, my little whore wants to get dicked down by her big brother's cock like the slut she is, doesn't she?" He says in a condescending tone as he pushes his wiener inside you. The feeling is so good you can barely breathe, his cock brushing every place inside you, rubbing every pleasure point you didn't even know existed.

"Big bro, please... I need more. More." You crie as he enters you in a punishing pace. You need to feel him entering you, pushing against your cervix even if you don't know how to say it.

"You're taking it like a fucking r@pedoll just for big bro, huh? Moaning and begging for cock like I always knew you would, you were made to take my cock." He says as he pounds into your pussy, your whole world focused on how good it feels, how wet you are, how you wish for more. "A fucking perfect r4pedoll for a perv brother like me, I was ready to pump you full of me for years now. If it wasn't for mom keeping me away from you, we could've be doing this for a lot longer, k!dd0"

You hate your mother, then, for keeping you away from this, from feeling so full, so good, so drunk in something you can barely remember your own name.

"But it's in the nature of a fucktoy to spread their legs and let their owners use them, right? That's why you cane here tonight, wasn't it?" He speeds up, groaning as he grabs your hair, pulling it rough.

You moan and thrash around him, needing it all, the feeling and warmth too much for you, sending you into an spiral.

"Gonna breed that pretty little k!dcvnt of yours, love, pump you full of my seed, make you pregnant with your brother's child. Then mom can never keep us apart again" you moan at the idea, blissfully pleasured at the thought of being bred by your big brother, of carrying his child when you're also a child.

"Yes, big brother, make your k!d sister round with your child, please" you finally find your voice, moaning so loud you'd be surprised if your neighbors haven't heard you, but you don't care.

All you care about is the cock stretching your pussy to its limits and then some.

The thought is enough to tip your brother over the edge and he cums hard inside you, pressing his balls to your tiny entrance like he wants them to enter you too, and the twitching of his cock inside you makes you cum, the cummies so strong you see white and all you hope is that big bro doesn't pull out.

That he decides to keep his cock in its home, warm and securing his seed in the place where they belong.

#under4ge #1nc3$t #patriarchy kink #4gepl4y #4g3pl4y #4g3play #4geplay #r4ape kink #r4p3 kink #r4p3b4it #r4pepl4y #r4p3 m3 #send me r@pe threats #k!dd0 #weed intox #intox cnc #intox kink #brocon #big bro/little sis #p3rvlvr #!cky daddy #!nc3st #!cky brother #fauxc3st #fauxcest #cnc free use #consensual noncon #dad cock #consent #18+ content

[candylix]

great minds think alike | bang chan

A sequel to blow my mind, read that one first! Pairing • Chan x GN!Reader Summary • After failing your test, you decide to go to the library to study. But when you get there, you see Chan. He wasn't the reason you failed, but he definitely didn't help. You said you weren't going to read his mind again, but after the first incident, he hasn't left your thoughts. It couldn't hurt to see what he's thinking about this time, right? Genre • college au, fluff, smut WC • 2.6k Content • sequel to blow my mind, no pronouns used but reader does have a vagina and breasts, mind reading, dirty thoughts about: asking you out 🥰, public sex, groping, thigh grinding, clit stimulation. Chan has an exhibitionism kink. Indented paragraphs indicate what's happening in his mind and not real life.

You really needed to bring your grade up. Normally you do alright, but that score was going to plummet your GPA. You never expected cheating to backfire so hard... but how could you possibly predict that the person you were mind reading would be thinking about sex the whole time?

This time, you'll be prepared the right way. You carry your textbooks and notes to the school library, and you're going to buckle down and study.

You enter the library with your foolproof plan in mind. You even set your timer for an hour, so you know when to take a break after all your hard work. But you freeze when you get to the tables and see a certain man already there.

Chan is studying too. You can feel your heartbeat thumping in your chest. After the test, you caught yourself thinking about him all the time. When you saw him, you felt butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to be around him, but you felt too anxious to say hi.

Safe to say, you've formed a little crush on him. It was embarrassing to admit to yourself, because you know how it happened. You read his mind, saw him fuck you on the desk, and now you want to hold his hand and kiss him.

Before you can even think rationally, you find yourself walking over to his table.

"Hey, mind if I study here?" you ask, mentally punching yourself for breaking the plan this easily.

He looks up, startled by the sudden intrusion, but his shock fades into a smile when he sees you.

"Go ahead," he responds. You pull out the seat across from him and put your stuff in front of you, as if you'll actually be able to get any studying done.

"Did you see your test score yet?" he asks.

"Yeah... let's just say there's a reason I came here to study."

"I didn't do too well either. Not bad, but not good."

"What happened?" you ask. You know what happened, but you want to see what he has to say.

"I, uh," he starts, and you see his cheeks start to flush. "I got a bit distracted."

'A bit distracted' is the understatement of the century.

"I hope I don't distract you, then."

He laughs nervously at your comment.

"Well, um, I'll get back to studying then," he says, and hides his face behind his laptop.

You open your textbook and think about studying, but you know you wont be able to resist peering into his mind. With the way he reacted, you know he's going to think about something interesting.

While pretending to read the book, you focus on him, and his thoughts gradually fill your head.

'Ok, Chan, focus. You can do this. Just... read your notes... focus... it would be rude to leave, right? I'm not gonna be able to focus like this.'

There was a small part of you that thought he didn't actually have feelings for you, and that he was just a pervert. But from the way he's struggling to study because you sat at his table, you can tell he really does like you.

'Do you want to go for coffee after this? No, that's stupid, it's too late to get coffee. What about... Wanna go see a movie sometime? That's stupid too. Ugh. How do you ask someone out without being cringy? Maybe I should buy some flowers? No, I'd have to carry them around all day like an idiot. This is too hard. I should just jump into a volcano. That would be easier... But this is such a good chance. I have to say something before I miss another perfect opportunity...'

His thoughts are racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he's going to say to ask you out. He said something about missing another opportunity... how long has this been on his mind? You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you think of every time you talked, wondering when he was thinking of asking you out. There have been a few times where he looked like he was going to say something, but just kept quiet. Was that him chickening out? Maybe you should put him out of his misery and ask him to dinner.

You tune back into his mind, just in time for him to imagine a scenario involving you.

He's sitting in the library across from you, exactly how you are now, but he's wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. "Hey babe, why don't you stop what you're doing and take a ride with me tonight. I'll make it worth your while." He winks, and a motorcycle comes crashing through the wall to stand next to him. He takes a seat on it, and you run up to get on behind him. He revs the engine a few times to look cool. You wrap your arms around his waist, feeling his six pack through his shirt. Then he rides the motorcycle out of the hole in the wall and into the sunset.

You can't stop a chuckle from escaping your lips.

"What are you laughing at?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Um, nothing. Just remembered something funny my friend said earlier," you lie.

You both go back to 'studying'. That was a close call. Not that he would ever guess what you're doing, but you did want to see where that fantasy was heading. You don't have to wait long before another one starts again.

You're both sitting in the library. He clears his throat, and you look up at him. "Sorry to interrupt, but... would you want to... maybe... go out with me?" he asks. "No." You say flatly. Then you take your textbook and hit him across the face, before leaving the room. 'Chan, that would never happen,' he thinks to himself. The daydream resets, and you're back where you were before, sitting across the table from him as if that never happened. He suddenly stands up, grabbing your attention, and walks over to your side of the table. He sits on your textbook, forcing you to look up at him. "We're done studying for today. I'm taking you out for dinner." "But-" "No buts. I won't take no for an answer." "I guess I have no choice then," you say, giggling. He fixates on your smile, they way you look at him, your lips... and everything freezes.

Chan buries his face in his hands. He wanted to be a cool, suave ladies man, but even in his imagination he loses his composure when you smile at him.

It's cute to see him like this, reminding you of when you read his mind during the test. The first thing he did was imagine holding your hand. It's possible that his feelings have gotten stronger since then, because now he's struggling just to ask you out in his romantic fantasies.

He's still sitting on the table in front of you, and he takes your hand, pulling you up you up to your feet. His other hand cups your cheek, and guides your face down to him. Your lips press into his, and you melt into the kiss. He breaks the kiss, and looks into your eyes. "Let's take a rain check on dinner," he says, and his hands move to the bottom of your shirt. "What are you-" you start, but he lifts your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the side. He unclasps your bra and throws it somewhere as well, and he drinks in the sight of you. "Chan, we're in public. Someone might see us." "Good, let them. I want everyone to know these," he says, grabbing your tits, "are mine." With one hand on each breast, he massages them, and kisses you again. His thumb grazes over your nipples, and you moan into the kiss. You can feel him smile, and he pulls at your nipples while he gropes you. His hands travel down your stomach and to your waist. He's quick to unbutton your pants and pull them down. He massages your ass over your underwear, and his thigh parts your legs to rest itself under your cunt. You gasp, and he slips his tongue in, deepening the kiss. You roll your hips, rubbing your pussy on his muscular thigh. He grabs your waist to help guide you on him, and you continue grinding on his leg as the feeling in your pit starts to build. "Not so shy anymore, huh?" he teases. "You want everyone to see you humping my leg." You roll your hips against him faster, trying to feel as much as you can between multiple layers of fabric. He watches your breasts bounce as you buck against him, and he sits there mesmerized at how good you look when you're fucking yourself on him.

Your alarm goes off. You both jump in your seats. His daydream instantly vanishes as the noise brings you both back to reality. You scramble to shut it off.

"Sorry, I forgot I set that alarm." "Oh... Does that mean you're done?" he asks. He looks at you with sad puppy dog eyes.

'Shit. I was too busy being horny that I completely forgot to ask. Ugh.'

You decide that if you want to go out with him, you're going to have to ask him yourself. "Actually, I have something I wanted to ask you," you say, and he instantly perks up. Your feel your heart beating, and you hesitate for a moment. You know he'll say yes, but you still feel nervous all of a sudden. Asking someone out apparently doesn't get easier even if you have nothing to fear. Finally, you make yourself say the words.

"Do you want to go out sometime?" He pauses, and starts overthinking about what you could possibly mean. "Um... like you want to hang out? Like a friendly 'go out'?" "More like a date 'go out'."

"Oh... OH. Yes!" He coughs, trying to sound nonchalant. "Yeah, let's go out sometime."

He can't hold back the grin that forms on his face. "Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Really?" you say, feigning ignorance, "That's crazy. I didn't know you were interested in me."

"Yeah... I've liked you for a while," he says shyly, and his cheeks turn pink. God he's cute.

"In that case," you start, walking around to his side of the table and grabbing his hand, "there's something I want to do." You pull him up to his feet, and lead him to the bookshelves. You walk into an empty aisle near the back. "I really want to kiss you." His face turns bright red, and you can hear the thumping of his heartbeat. "O-ok," he stutters. He's completely different from the Casanova in his daydreams, but the juxtaposition is very endearing.

You cup his face and lean in for a kiss, and he kisses back softly. He doesn't know where to put his hands at first, but he rests them on your waist. Gently, you push him back against the bookshelves and press your body into him. He melts into the kiss, and his confidence grows enough to lower his hands to your ass.

For the first time, his thoughts are completely silent.

You're the first to break the kiss. "Do you want to go a bit further?" you ask. "Further...?" he asks, and when your hands leave his face to travel down to his hips, his eyes go wide. "What if someone walks in on us?"

"Then they'll know I'm all yours," you whisper. With the way you're pressed up against him, you can feel his erection forming. If his daydreams didn't convince you of his exhibitionism kink, this sure did.

He nods his head, and you lean back in for another kiss. You palm his crotch, and as you slowly stroke his bulge, you feel him harden under your touch. He grabs your hand, stopping it in its track. "What's wrong?" you ask. "Sorry, I just..." he hesitates for a moment, but continues, "I want to be the one touching you." You remember everything he's fantasized. That is what he likes. "Go ahead," you say. He turns you around so that your back is on his chest, and he brings his hand between your legs. He kisses your neck while he rubs you, and you lean your head back into him. His hand moves into your pants, and he feels the wet spot in your underwear. He moves it aside, and his fingers circle your clit. When he finds a spot that makes you twitch, he presses into it, rubbing it harder and faster until your body rocks into his hand. His other hand snakes under your shirt to grope your breast, and he plays with your nipple. He rubs it and pulls at it, earning a moan from you. The fingers on your clit stroke you faster, and you can hear how wet you are as he moves in and out of your folds. The sensations from your breast and your core has you bucking wildly on him, and your ass presses against his dick. He buries his face into your shoulder, dampening the moan he lets out. He grinds into you from behind, with no rhythm in his movements.

You can feel your orgasm building, and you can't control how you hump Chan's hand while he continues his brutal pace against your cunt. He works his fingers, caressing your folds and rubbing a sensitive spot. You writhe under his touch, and you know you're close. You feel the dam burst, and he continues to rub circles around your clit as you buck into his hand, riding out your high. His hand continues to hold your pussy as he humps your ass, feeling his own orgasm building. He moans, and his pace slows down as he finishes on you. You're both breathing heavily, and he takes his hand out of your pants.

You both lower yourselves to the ground in exhaustion, and you turn to face him. He leans back against the bookshelf. "You don't know how much I wanted to do that," he finally says, and you have to stop yourself from saying yes, you did know.

"Me too," you admit.

As much fun as it was peeping into his thoughts, the real thing felt way better.

"Do you... want to make plans for our date?" he asks. You completely forgot about that in the heat of the moment. "Maybe we should get cleaned up before we think about next time." "Oh, right. Do you want to come to my dorm to shower?" he asks, before adding "Just to get cleaned up! I didn't mean- unless you want to-"

"Yes," you say, answering his question before he overthinks and uninvites you. "I don't want to have to go home like this."

"Yeah, um, alright. Come with me."

You go back to the table to get your stuff, which thankfully is still there, and he leads you to his dorm.

You didn't end up studying, but you did end up with a boyfriend, and that's more important anyways.

Although he would argue otherwise.

EPILOGUE:

You're chilling in Chan's room while you wait for your final grades to show up on the school website. You check your phone, it's finally the time they said it would be posted. You both open the website.

"Yes!" he yells, "I got a 93%!"

You wait for the page to load, and when you see your mark, you breathe a sigh of relief.

You barely passed, with 1% over the failing grade, but a pass is a pass nonetheless. Your GPA fell significantly after you started dating Chan, but it worked out in the end.

He looks at your score.

'Wow, what a terrible grade.'

He looks back at you.

"Hey, you passed! Great job!" he says, and gives you a high five.

#stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader smut #stray kids smut #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #bang chan #chan smut #chan x reader #chan x reader smut

[t1oui]

@jegulus-microfic | april 25th | headlights | 1,222 words | cw: mentions of a car accident, hospitals, mentions of smoking (nothing graphic)

Regulus tries so hard to think that Sirius is an idiot. That bloody thing'll kill you, he remembers saying. Sirius had only laughed. No one's laughing now.

It was just a Friday night. Regulus got home from work late and was looking forward to doing nothing until Monday morning. Was looking forward to being alone, sitting around with popcorn and staring at the telly until he fell asleep. Now, the idea of a simple night in feels light years away.

He never gets what he wants.

Sitting on a stiff white chair outside Sirius's room at St. Mungo's, Regulus's leg bounces up and down at a frantic pace, mind racing. Didn't he see the headlights? Didn't he try and stop? It wasn't his fault, they said. Regulus's older brother is in a hospital bed and he wants to strangle the idiot who put him there.

Remus is sitting across from him, eyes red-rimmed and body curled in around himself. He arrived before Regulus. Pettigrew was pacing until Remus yelled at him and he mumbled something about getting a coffee.

It feels like hours before Potter arrives. Regulus and Remus are only taking up two of maybe eight seats crowded into the hallway, but James sits right next to him. He's crying, too busy looking at his phone to pay Regulus any mind beside him.

"Why are you here?" Regulus grumbles. He sounds like shit. The corridor is far too bright for someone who wants to crawl into a hole and never come out. James glances up at him, looking confused and distressed and tired. God, Regulus is so fucking tired.

"My best friend is... he's...." James gestures helplessly to the room behind them. They're not whispering, but their voices are hoarse. Remus isn't paying attention anyway - he's been staring into space for hours now. "He's in there."

"No," Regulus says, shaking his head in frustration. He hates when people don't understand him. "Why are you... here. There's so many seats."

James stares at him for a moment. He still holds his phone in his lap - if Regulus looks closely, he can see the name Lily written across the top of the screen with a pink flower beside it. James opens his mouth to speak, but Regulus interrupts him, pointing to the phone.

"That's a hibiscus flower, you know."

"What?" James doesn't sound like he's actually processing anything Regulus is saying. Regulus presses his finger next to Lily's contact name. He remembers her from school. He never liked her much.

"The flower here," he says. "It's not a lily. It's a hibiscus."

James sniffles, shrugging helplessly. "There's no lily emoji," he says. "This one's good enough."

Regulus doesn't say that he thinks that's sort of stupid. He's too tired to, and he knows James doesn't really care. Who does?

"I don't want to be lonely," James tells him. Regulus stares at his ear.

"What?"

"You asked," James says, shrugging again. He shrugs a lot. "Why I sat next to you."

Regulus looks up, glances over to Remus. He's managed to gather all of his limbs up onto the small hospital chair and is staring into space, eyes glazed over, arms wrapped around his knees. "Why didn't you sit next to him?"

James's answer comes so quiet that he has to lean closer to hear. "I'd still be alone."

Regulus stares at him. "Oh." He wonders where Pettigrew's gotten off to. Wonders if Lily will come to take James home, will gather Remus into the car too. Wonders who will take him home now that the motorcycle he hates so much is nothing more than a pile of scraps, its owner not much more.

"D'you wanna see a picture of my cat?" James asks. Regulus looks back at him. James is tilting his phone towards Regulus, even though he never answered, and Regulus finds himself leaning closer again to look. His cheek brushes James's shoulder, and he expects James to tense up - they barely know each other. James is probably humoring him, but his best friend's weird little brother leaning his head on his shoulder is probably the last straw. James is just being nice because he's sad. Last Regulus heard, he has a pretty girl and a son waiting for him at home.

But James leans into the touch. Regulus is too tired to pull away. (Part of him doesn't want to pull away. He tells this part to be quiet.)

"Her name's Leo," James says, holding up his phone to reveal a small gray tabby. The smile is evident in his voice, which is soft and close to Regulus's ear. It sounds like a lullaby. "Harry named her."

"Leo," Regulus says softly. James's curls are tickling his cheek. It's not an unpleasant feeling - it reminds him of walking barefoot over grass on a sunny day.

"Like the constellation," James explains. "It's Haz's favorite. 'Course, he is a Leo, so he's a bit biased there...."

Regulus glances down and notices his fingers loosely intertwined with James's. He doesn't remember doing that.

"Leo's the constellation -" he begins.

"Your star," James replies. He sighs softly, content but a little shaky. "Yeah."

They're both silent for a while. It's weirdly comfortable, even in the buzzing hospital, even with Remus sitting numb across from them and Sirius laying unconscious behind them and Peter knocking around, probably smoking the pack of cigarettes Regulus saw him slip out of Remus's pocket before he disappeared.

"Is Lily going to pick you up?" Regulus asks.

"She has Harry tonight," James says instead of answering. It only leaves Regulus with more questions.

"I thought..." Regulus begins, but he doesn't know what he thinks, not really. James seems to, though.

"We broke up," he says simply. He shrugs a little, only one shoulder, trying not to jostle Regulus's head. "Few years ago."

Regulus is quiet for a while. He remembers school, seeing James's golden-brown arm wrapped around Lily's pale shoulders. He remembers a pang of pain at the sight, feels it now, a dull ache located deep within his chest. "I'm sorry to hear that," he says, but he doesn't sound sincere.

"Don't be," James says. He's turned his head, and his lips brush just barely against Regulus's forehead. He should pull away, but instead, he just closes his eyes. "She's my best friend."

Regulus squeezes James's hand. "I'm glad you're here," he whispers.

James squeezes back. "I'm glad you're here, too," he replies.

He sets his phone down on his lap, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a jumbled ball of headphones. He tries for a minute or so to untangle them one-handed before finally sighing and pulling his fingers out from between Regulus's, pulling the earbuds into his phone. He hands one to Regulus.

"Put it in," he says, watching Regulus do nothing.

"Why?" Regulus asks.

"It's too... something in here."

Regulus gives him a small smile as he puts the earbud in. It fits weird, but not uncomfortable weird like he remembers. Just different. As he settles his head back onto James's shoulder, a soft melody begins to play into his ear. James sets the phone down on his knee before taking Regulus's hand again, resting his head against Regulus's curls. Regulus takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.

Maybe this night won't be as long as he thought.

#hp fandom #harry potter fandom #hp #marauders era #cw: car accident #cw: hospital #cw: smoking #(none of the above are graphic) #james potter #regulus black #jegulus microfic #sunseeker #starchaser #james x regulus #regulus x james #james potter x regulus black #in other news harry has a cat named leo :)) #harry canonically being a leo is something more people need to talk about !! #i can't write micro apparently #but i tried #this will be up on ao3 as well :)

[yourmomshackysack]

warning: vent post about vtubers and ANYCOLOR INC

Pretty fucking scummy move by ANYCOLOR Inc. in not appropriately handling Yugo Asuma’s termination. All the vagueness in their statement is just going to inspire distrust between themselves, their livers, and their fans. If Yugo’s liver did something awful, why weren’t we told what? What could he have done that demands immediate termination and not a suspension? People would at least understand if they knew HOW or WHY. From my understanding, he has not publicly done anything warranting a ‘graduation’(he got fired, just say he got fired) and has been a positive influence on the English Vtubing space. 

The Yuguys didn’t even get to mourn, as his existence has been scraped from all his socials. I’m writing this only THREE HOURS after they announced it. I don’t even think his genmates have gotten the chance either, as based on the rest of NOCTYX’s tweets it doesn’t look like anyone was aware of the incoming graduation? 

I hope any aspiring ANYCOLOR Inc. collaborators take a good look at this situation, and remember it if they want to audition or join a company. I think this killed any remaining dream I had of joining Niji, because why the fuck would I when they treat both their employees and fans like this? Be transparent and clear when you are taking such firm action, have people understand why it was needed in the first place. Until we get some answers, all I can think was that management had a bone to pick with Yugo’s liver and tossed him as soon as they could. Maybe he knew it was coming, I mean his last tweet was this:

Yugo was the highlight of any collab he was in. unabashedly sweet, and was always aiming for bigger and better streams. I hope the person behind Yugo is doing the best they can, and that they return to streaming when they are ready.

And because some people will need this reminder and it cannot be stressed enough, please don’t fucking pester any NIJI livers or any associated individuals about this, especially Fulgur Ovid as he’s the only Noctyx member currently not on break. None of them have control over this, and they deserve time to grieve a friendship. If you want to yell, yell at ANYCOLOR INC. Blast their garbage twitter statements, their emails, anything of their non-liver channels. This shouldn’t be how NIJIEN’s first ‘graduation’ went.

#fuck I didn't think I'd be so worked up about this #thankfully someone reuploaded yugos queen of hearts cover and now thats all i will be listening to tonight #hopefully the other noctyx breaks arent related to this as sonny just announced his #take care of yourselves yuguys #nijisanji #nijien #noctyx #yugo asuma #vtuber #tw vent #vent

[endusviolence]

Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

#transgender #trans history #transsexual #transphobia #Magnus Hirschfeld #holocaust #holocaust denial #book burning #j.k. rowling #jk rowling #just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :) #trans people have always existed #and we will always exist #if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit #queer history #queer #lgbt+ #lgbta+ #lgbt #lgbt history #edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month #also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it #it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs #and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had #also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2 #Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices #considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

[running-in-the-dark]

I think I mentioned that I was looking into getting a better sewing machine? well, it arrived today 🙈 that happened much faster than planned. I found the model I was looking at at a (relatively) local sewing machine store, for 30% off because it had been in the shop window, so the plastic has yellowed.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that (the website only said it was a floor model or something similar, then someone from the store called and told me the specifics and asked if that was still okay), but honestly? I never ever would have paid the full price, it was just too much, I couldn't justify that. but this reduced price was only a little more than the ones I had been looking at before (that were not great quality and probably wouldn't last very long).

I am very particular about things like this but I'm trying to make myself accept that it really is not that bad. it actually looks kinda cool. I just have to get my brain to accept that it's not a flaw, it's just a completely superficial and insignificant thing that doesn't affect its function at all. it's good that this machine that works perfectly won't end up in a landfill just because it doesn't look brand new.

I only got to try it a little bit today because I wasn't feeling well but damn, the difference to my old machine is huge!! it's so much more fun and easy to use - I love having the needle threader and that it can automatically cut the yarn when you're done. and with the start/stop button it's actually really fun to wind bobbins!! I always hated that on my old machine.

I skimmed through the manual earlier (and put page markers in it so that I can easily find anything later) - it did seem somewhat overwhelming at first. I've never used or even seen (irl) a computerised sewing machine, so of course it did! but it already felt much more familiar after just using it a little bit today. I love it 🥰

(also, I think the fact that it doesn't look perfect and brand new actually helps - I'm not afraid to use it in case I 'ruin' it!)

#I really hope I'll use it a lot #I didn't use my old one much because it was just such a hassle. #mainly little things that didn't work right #and something as simple as the way you have to thread it not being labeled clearly on the machine itself #I've got memory issues and found that very annoying (and in the end I drew the instructions on with sharpie because it got so frustrating) #I've also bought a.. probably stupid amount of little sewing things that I've wanted for years. #and an iron (got the old one second hand for 5€ and it will not stop dripping). and a set of thread (I only had thread that was old and/or #really bad quality. I can only get about 5 colours locally AND it's pretty expensive. so a set made sense... 😬) #it's the same thing every time. I get (more) into a hobby. I buy every fucking thing. I do it all day every day until it stops being the #most interesting thing on earth. and then I pick it up again like once a year but always feel guilty for not doing it enough #annnnyway #I'm very excited about all of it right now #I'm hoping it'll last a while #I mean. I've been interested in sewing for over a decade. I just never had enough money to really get into it the way I'd like #so. I don't think it'll ever completely go away at least #I've bought a bunch of vintage sewing patterns on ebay and I'm really excited to try them #I'm thinking I'll do some baby clothes first - I don't know any babies at the moment but baby clothes are small and also very adorable #so even if I mess up they'd still look cute 😂 #and I wouldn't have wasted too much fabric haha #personal

[actually-eldritch]

It's all me it's aaaaalll me it's all people all the way down you know my best influence my strongest influence comes when I don't mind not receiving credit and my second strongest influence comes when I'm not afraid but the problem is that I'm always terrified and most of all, I'm starving.

#And it's by design #And I'm always thinking about how if I could just get my bloody foot in the door I could get better #I could get so much better #but I'm not gonna get my foot in the door #there is no fucking door to try propping open with my foot so I can reach the whole #everything I've come across resembling The Door I Need has been manned by someone that already decided to help someonelse #Someone who didn't even work out #I try not to think about the fact that my mother spent years and thousands of dollars on helping her niece only for her to return to her #abuser in brasil with her kids and wind up homeless of her own volition. she had a new life made. #my mum helped Her instead of setting me up for life and it was literally all for naught #those kids are no doubt developing DID because they are almost the exact same position I was #meanwhile I had to run away from home and run away three more times and barely scrape by and barely scrape by and barely scrape by #like I'm so glad the little girl got to have a princess bedroom for??? idk how long it was #like a year????? only for it to be taken from her anyway??? #I just wish I'd received the diligence she gave those kids #she put more effort in to their bedrooms than she did me when I was young lmfao #and for what. and for what. and for what. and for what. #Showing them how to make stuff too #Is it because they spoke portugese? is it because I wasn't brasilian enough for you? isn't that literally your fault though? #You were the only brasilian in my life and you were my godamned mother how could it not be your fault that I wasn't brasilian enough how #could you shun me for that lmfao

[katya-goncharov]

can't wait till i quit my job can't wait till i quit my job can't wait till i quit my job can't wait till i quit my job -

#ugh i'm just so annoyed that they keep putting me on overtime shifts #i'm only supposed to do 17 hours a week and that's all i signed up for! but literally like 90% of the weeks i'm scheduled in for or have #worked i've been put on extra shifts. and it's never just like a few hours extra. it's always an extra 6 hour shift at stupid early in the #morning and extended hours on all my other days and whenever i try to very timidly suggest that i'd rather not do too much the managers are #just like oh but you said you were available at those times! and like yes i did but i thought i'd maybe get one overtime shift a month! not #literally every fucking week. and just because i'm technically available on some days of the week doesn't mean i never have any plans then #so you can't just schedule me without asking! and it's about mentally coping too because i really feel like i'm going to get burnt out. i'v #barely had any time to do my university summer work and i've already had to reschedule a tutorial because i got put on extra shifts that da #and ugh sorry for ranting AGAIN but it's just making me feel so stressed and awful. i really don't want to do those extra shifts but it's #something i feel like i can't really say no to and i just didn't think employers would be so entitled like that. just scheduling me in #constantly as if they have this unquestioning right to my free time #emma vents

[fairybumpkin]

ooo love is kinda complicated ain't it. wasn't expecting it

#but also it's not! i just need to be an adult and talk to this person about it #because hey it could turn out just fine! #and believing i can leave it hanging in limbo forever is harmful to me and also disregards their agency #because hey they might say something first - but also i can't wait on that #but also they've known me through the majority of my transition & a bit before so it's weird! and are they straight? probably! but- #i've never actually asked and i don't know enough #realised that i'd gone emotionally too far after i learned they can do card tricks and well. brother that made me feel things okay #and we work together which makes it really complicated to actually bring up #but also i am SUPER obvious apparently so they probably already know #which... I can't figure out if that'll make it more or less awkward #whole thing crept up on me too - didn't realise it was happening until after top surgery and i was able to actually start figuring out #my sexuality for real #but by fucking god these are intense feelings no wonder i was getting so messed up repressing attraction my whole life #and fuck if i can't stop thinking about this person for real! i thought that was something that people exaggerated to be honest #but no they are always there in my head now #in dreams too a lot of the time

[afniel]

AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.

So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.

In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.

And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?

We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.

For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.

YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...

#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism #and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain. #it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all #the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain. #because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take #obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?' #followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY' #because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao #well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind'] #and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad. #but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that! #I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch #he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it. #I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician. #but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though #I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao #anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit. #'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on #like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky #I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol

[neverendingford]

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#so I have officially been to a club/bar now #tag talk #it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit #except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee #it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were #and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun #I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game #but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d #I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went #all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat. #I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info #so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection. #we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers #anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment. #I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation #and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway #oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life. #so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident. #literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow? #Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in. #anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect #also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to #oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it #I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice. #was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar. #wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out #but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed #cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like #I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering #I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)

[united-under-skyfall]

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#i think one thing i really didn't prepare for w overnights is just how fucking lonely it is. like yeah 80% of the reason i took it was to #get away from customers but like. it worked. and the night shift team is v v small. there's only 4 of us and we've never been scheduled all #at once yet. and usually we're running around on completely opposite ends of the building going long periods of time without #radioing each other. and then i come home all amped up and the rest of my house is still asleep. and then when they wake up #it's just to get ready and go and we don't really have time to talk. and by the time they get back i'm sleeping #and it's my first night off and i can't fuck up my whole schedule i worked so hard to switch over to w them flipping me all over the place #so now i'm just like. sitting in the half light trying not to wake anybody up not doing anything. the only places near us open are #gas stations and i can't exactly loiter there and what would i do even if i could. and it's too cold to go for a walk or to the park #or something. and i feel like i haven't talked to another human being about something that wasn't related to work in years #and it's only been a week. #and we can listen to music or podcasts or something but our carts and machines are so loud you miss half of it. and we can't hold #super long conversations when we ARE in the same room for the same reasons. plus we all want to die so none of us feel like talking. #and just. im tired and lonely and want to sleep and im already regretting this but i'd feel bad for backing out now when they have so #few options and i volunteered for it in the first place #and then there's also like. even just doing my usual solitary thing at home feels so much more isolated bc there's not the noises #of other people existing nearby. the nearest signs of life are some coughing and then a car on the other side of the block #just. what am i even doing here. #tag ramble