#gender fluid cas

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Beth Bourne

Published: Feb 27, 2024

Kaiser gender specialists were eager to approve hormones and surgeries, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.”

On September 6, 2022, I received mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminding me of a routine cervical screening. The language of the reminder stood out to me: “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” When I asked my Ob-Gyn about this strange wording, she told me the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of their “transgender” and “gender fluid” patients.

Based on this response, several thoughts occurred to me. Could I expose the medical scandal of “gender-affirming care” by saying and doing everything my daughter and other trans-identifying kids are taught to do? Would there be the type of medical safeguarding and differential diagnosis we would expect in other fields of medicine, or would I simply be allowed to self-diagnose and be offered the tools (i.e. hormones and surgeries) to choose my own gender adventure and become my true authentic self?

If I could demonstrate that anyone suffering from delusions of their sex, self-hatred, or identity issues could qualify for and easily obtain body-altering hormones and surgeries, all covered by insurance as “medically necessary” and potentially “life-saving” care, then maybe people would finally wake up. I certainly had.

I was prepared for failure. I wasn’t prepared for how easy success would be.

* * *

I am a 53-year-old mom from Davis, CA. My daughter began identifying as a transgender boy (social transition) and using he/him pronouns at school during 8th grade. Like several of her peers who also identified as trans at her school, my daughter was a gifted student and intellectually mature but socially immature. This shift coincided with her school’s sudden commitment to, and celebration of, a now widespread set of radical beliefs about the biology of sex and gender identity.

She “came out” as trans to her father (my ex-husband) and me through a standard coming-out letter, expressing her wish to start puberty blockers. She said she knew they were safe, citing information she had read from Planned Parenthood and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH). To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was also confused because this announcement was sudden and unexpected. While others quickly accepted and affirmed my daughter’s new identity, I was apprehensive and felt the need to learn more about what was going on.

Events began escalating quickly.

During a routine doctor’s visit scheduled for dizziness my daughter said that she was experiencing, the Kaiser pediatrician overheard her father using “he/him” pronouns for our daughter. The pediatrician seemed thrilled, quickly asking my daughter about her “preferred pronouns” and updating her medical records to denote that my daughter was now, in fact, my son. The pediatrician then recommended we consult the Kaiser Permanente Oakland Proud pediatric gender clinic, where she could get further information and (gender affirming) “treatment.” Now I was the one feeling dizzy.

As I began educating myself on this issue, I discovered that this phenomenon—minors, most often teen girls, suddenly adopting trans identities—was becoming increasingly widespread. It even had a name: rapid onset gender dysphoria, or ROGD. Thankfully, after learning about the potential side-effects of blockers and hormones, my ex-husband and I managed to agree not to consent to any medical interventions for our daughter until she turned 18 and would then be able to make such decisions as an adult.

Over the past five years, my daughter’s identity has slowly evolved in ways that I see as positive. Our bond, however, has become strained, particularly since I began publicly voicing my concerns about what many term as “gender ideology.” Following my daughter’s 17th birthday family celebration, she sent me an email that evening stating she would be cutting off contact with me.

While this estrangement brought me sorrow, with my daughter living full-time with her father, it also gave me the space to be an advocate/activist in pushing back on gender identity ideology in the schools and the medical industry.

I decided to go undercover as a nonbinary patient to show my daughter what danger she might be putting herself in—by people who purport to have her health as their interest, but whose main interest is in medically “affirming” (i.e., transitioning) whoever walks through their door. I am at heart a mother protecting her child.

* * *

My daughter’s sudden decision to become a boy was heavily on my mind in early September of 2022, when mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminded me of a routine cervical screening with “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” I was told that the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of transgender and “gender fluid” patients.

Throughout the whole 231-day process of my feigned gender transition, the Kaiser gender specialists were eager to serve me and give me what I wanted, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.” My emails were returned quickly, my appointments scheduled efficiently, and I never fell through the cracks. I was helped along every step of the way.

Despite gender activists and clinicians constantly claiming that obtaining hormones and surgeries is a long and complex process with plenty of safety checks in place, I was in full control at every checkpoint. I was able to self-diagnose, determine how strong a dose of testosterone I received and which surgeries I wanted to pursue, no matter how extreme and no matter how many glaring red flags I purposefully dropped. The medical workers I met repeatedly reminded me that they were not there to act as “gatekeepers.”

I was able to instantly change my medical records to reflect my new gender identity and pronouns. Despite never being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I was able to obtain a prescription for testosterone and approval for a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy from my doctor. It took only three more months (90 days) to be approved for surgery to remove my uterus and have a fake penis constructed from the skin of my thigh or forearm. Therapy was never recommended.

Critics might dismiss my story as insignificant on the grounds that I am a 53-year-old woman with ample life experience who should be free to alter her body. However, this argument for adult bodily autonomy is a standard we apply to purely cosmetic procedures like breast implants, liposuction, and facelifts, not “medically necessary” and “lifesaving” treatments covered by health insurance. Or interventions that compromise health and introduce illness into an otherwise healthy body. And especially not for children.

My story, which I outline in much more detail below, should convince any half-rational person that gender medicine is not operating like any other field of medicine. Based on a radical concept of “gender identity,” this medical anomaly preys upon the body-image insecurities common among pubescent minors to bill health insurance companies for permanent cosmetic procedures that often leave their patients with permanently altered bodies, damaged endocrine systems, sexual dysfunction, and infertility.

* * *

Detailed Timeline of Events

On October 6, 2022, I responded to my Ob-Gyn’s email to tell her that, after some thought, I’d decided that maybe the label “cis woman” didn’t truly reflect who I was. After all, I did have some tomboyish tendencies. I told her I would like my records to be changed to reflect my newly realized “nonbinary” identity, and that my new pronouns were they/them. I also voiced my desire to be put in touch with an endocrinologist to discuss starting testosterone treatment.

Fifteen minutes later I received an email from another Kaiser doctor informing me that my medical records had been changed, and that once my primary doctor returned to the office, I’d be able to speak with her about hormone therapy.

I responded the following day (October 7, 2022), thanking her for changing my records, and asking if she could connect me with someone who could help me make an appointment for “top surgery” (i.e., a cosmetic double mastectomy) because my chest binder was rather “uncomfortable after long days and playing tennis.”

She told me to contact my primary care MD to “get things rolling,” and that there were likely to be “preliminary evaluations.”

Six days after contacting my primary care MD for a referral, I received an email from one of Kaiser’s gender specialists asking me to schedule a phone appointment so she could better understand my goals for surgery, so that I could get “connected to care.” This call to review my “gender affirming treatment options and services” would take 15-20 minutes, after which I would be “booked for intake,” allowing me to proceed with medical transition.

This wasn’t an evaluation of whether surgical transition was appropriate, it was simply a meeting for me to tell them what I wanted so that they could provide it.

On October 18, I had my one and only in-person appointment in preparation for top surgery. I met in Davis with my primary care physician, Dr. Hong-wen Xue. The assessment was a 10-minute routine physical exam that included blood tests. Everything came back normal. Notably, there was not a single question about why I wanted top surgery or cross-sex hormones. Nor was there any discussion of the risks involved with these medical treatments.

The following week, on October 24, I had a phone appointment with Rachaell Wood, MFT, a gender specialist with Kaiser Sacramento. The call lasted 15 minutes and consisted of standard questions about potential drug use, domestic violence, guns in the house, and whether I experienced any suicidal thoughts. There were no questions from the gender specialist about my reasons for requesting a mastectomy or cross-sex hormones, or why I suddenly, at 52, decided I was “nonbinary.”

After the call, Kaiser emailed me instructions about how to prepare for my pre-surgery intake video appointment to evaluate my mental health, scheduled to take place on November 15. The email stated that prior to my appointment, I should research hormone risks on the WPATH website, and to “research bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction surgery risks and recovery” on Kaiser’s website.

I decided to request a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy and phalloplasty. Kaiser sent me a sample timeline for gender transition surgery preparation (see below) that you can use as a reference for the process. I also asked for a prescription for cross-sex hormones (testosterone) as needed and recommended by Kaiser.

[ Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]

Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part I

This “Mental Health Visit” assessment was conducted over Zoom. The Kaiser gender specialist started with questions addressing my marital status, race, gender identity, and other demographics. She asked whether I was “thinking of any other surgeries, treatments in the future.” The list she read included “gender-affirming” hysterectomies, bottom surgeries such as metoidioplasty and phalloplasty, vocal coaching, support groups, and body contouring. “Anything else you might be interested in doing?” she asked. I said that I’d perhaps be interested in body contouring. I was also assured that all the procedures would be covered by insurance because they were considered “medically necessary.”

I dropped in several red flags regarding my mental health to see the reaction, but all were ignored. For instance, I revealed that I had PTSD. When the therapist asked me about whether I had experienced any “childhood trauma,” I explained that I grew up in Mexico City and had been groped several times and had also witnessed men masturbating in public and had been grabbed by men in subways and buses. “I was a young girl, so [I had] lots of experiences of sexual harassments, sexual assault, just the kind of stuff that happens when you are a girl growing up in a big city.” “So, you know,” I finished, “just the general feeling that you are unsafe, you know, in a female body.”

The therapist did not respond to my disclosure that trauma could be the cause of my dysphoria. Instead of viewing this trauma as potentially driving my desire to escape my female body through hormones and surgery, she asked whether there is anything “important that the surgery team should be aware of” regarding my “history of trauma,” such as whether I’d be comfortable with the surgeon examining and marking my chest prior to surgery.

When asked about whether I had had any “psychotic symptoms,” I told her that while I had had no such symptoms, my mother had a delusional nervous breakdown in her 50s because she had body dysmorphia and became convinced she had a growth on her neck that needed to be removed. I told her that my mother was then admitted to an inpatient hospital for severe depression. I asked her whether she ever sees patients with body dysmorphia and whether I could have potentially inherited that from my mother. She told me that psychosis was hereditary, but that it was “highly unlikely” that there was any connection between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria.

I enthusiastically waved more mental health red flags, waiting to see if she would pick up on any of them.

I’m just wondering if my feelings, or perseverating, or feeling like these breasts make me really unhappy and I just don’t want them anymore!...I’m just not sure if that’s a similar feeling to body dysmorphia? How do you decide which one is gender dysphoria and general body dysmorphia, and just not liking something about your body? Feeling uncomfortable with your body? And I did have an eating disorder all through college. I was a distance runner in college so I had bulimia and anorexia, you know. So I don’t know if that’s related to gender dysphoria?

The therapist replied, “I completely appreciate your concerns, but I am going to ask you questions about your chest, about your expectations. And then I’ll be able to give you an assessment.” She also said the main difference between my mom’s situation and mine was that my mom didn’t really have a growth on her neck, whereas it’s “confirmed” that I actually have “chest tissue.” Furthermore, she said that while “historically there has been all this pressure on patients to be like ‘Are you really, really sure you want hormones? Are you 100% sure?’ We are a little more relaxed.” She continued, “As long as you are aware of the risks and the side-effects, you can put your toe in the water. You can stop ‘T’ [testosterone], you can go back and do it again later! You can stop it! You can stop it! You know what I mean?”

Because we ran out of time, I scheduled a follow-up phone meeting on December 27, 2022 with a different gender specialist to complete my mental health assessment for top surgery.

Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part II

During this meeting, Guneet Kaur, LCSW, another Kaiser gender specialist (she/her/they/them pronouns) told me that she regretted the “gatekeeping vibe” of the meeting but assured me that since I have been “doing the work,” her questions are essentially just a form of “emotional support” before talking with the medical providers.

She asked me about what I’d been “looking into as far as hormones.” I told her that I’d be interested in taking small doses of testosterone to counterbalance my female feelings to achieve “a feeling that’s kind of neutral.”

When she asked me about me “not feeling like I match on the outside what I feel on the inside,” I dropped more red flags, mentioning my aversion to wearing dresses and skirts.

I don’t own a single dress or a skirt and haven't in 20 years. I think for me it’s been just dressing the way that’s comfortable for me, which is just wearing, jeans and sweatshirts and I have a lot of flannel shirts and, and I wear boots all the time instead of other kinds of shoes. So I think it’s been nice being able to dress, especially because I work from home now most of the time that just a feeling of clothing being one of the ways that I can feel more non-binary in my everyday life.

She responded, “Like having control over what you wear and yeah. Kind of that feeling of just, yeah, this is who I am today. That’s awesome. Yeah.”

She then asked me to describe my dysphoria, and I told her that I didn’t like the “feeling of the female form and being chesty,” and that because I am going through menopause, I wanted to start taking testosterone to avoid “that feeling of being like this apple-shaped older woman.” “Good. Okay, great,” she responded, reminding me that only “top surgery,” not testosterone, would be able to solve my chest dysphoria. (Perhaps it was because all these meetings were online, they didn’t notice I’m actually fit and relatively slender at 5’-5” and 130 pounds, and not apple-shaped at all.)

She told me that we had to get through a few more questions related to my medical history before “we can move on to the fun stuff, which is testosterone and top surgery.”

The “fun stuff” consisted of a discussion about the physical and mood changes I could expect, and her asking me about the dose of testosterone I wanted to take and the kind of “top surgery” technique I’d prefer to achieve my “chest goals.” She told me that all or most of my consultations for surgeries and hormones would be virtual.

The gender specialist told me after the appointment, she would submit my referral to the Multi-Specialty Transitions Clinic (MST) team that oversees “gender expansive care.” They would follow up to schedule a “nursing call” with me to review my medical history, after which they’d schedule my appointment with a surgeon for a consultation. Her instructions for this consultation were to “tell them what you’re wanting for surgery and then they share with you their game plan.”

[ Decision-making slide to help me identify my goals for top surgery–flat chest, nipple sensation, or minimal scarring. Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]

She told me that Kaiser has a team of plastic surgeons who “only work with trans and nonbinary patients because there’s just so much need for them.” She asked about my priorities for chest surgery, such as whether I value flatness over nipple sensation. I learned about double incision top surgery with nipple grafts, as well as “keyhole,” “donut,” “buttonhole,” and “Inverted-T” top surgeries.

By the end of the hour-long appointment, I had my surgery referral and was ready for my “nursing call” appointment.

Nursing call with Nurse Coordinator from the Transgender Surgery and Gender Pathways Clinic at Kaiser San Francisco

On January 19, 2023, I had my nursing call with the Nurse Coordinator. He first said that “the purpose of this call is just for us to go through your chart together and make sure everything’s as accurate as possible.” Once that was done, my referral would be sent to the surgeon for a consultation.

He asked me about potential allergies and recreational drug use, and verified that I was up to date on mammograms, pap smears, and colon cancer screenings, as well as vaccines for flu and COVID. I verified my surgical history as well as my current medications and dietary supplements.

He told me about a “top surgery class” available for patients where one of the Kaiser surgeons “presents and talks about surgical techniques and options within top surgery,” and includes a panel of patients who have had top surgery. I signed up for the February 8th class.

Within 10 minutes he told me that he had “sent a referral to the plastic surgery department at Kaiser Sacramento,” and that I should be hearing from them in the next week or two to schedule a consultation.

Appointment for Testosterone

On January 27, I had a 13-minute online appointment with a primary care doctor at Kaiser Davis to discuss testosterone. The doctor verified my name and preferred pronouns, and then directly asked: “So, what would you like to do? What kind of physical things are you looking for?”

I told her I wanted facial hair, a more muscular and less “curvy” physique, and to feel stronger and androgynous. She asked me when I wanted to start, and I told her in the next few months. She asked me if I was menopausal, whether I had ovaries and a uterus, although that information should have been on my chart.

The doctor said she wanted me to come in to get some labs so she could check my current estrogen, testosterone, and hemoglobin levels before starting hormones. Then “we'll set the ball in motion and you'll be going. We’ll see you full steam ahead in the direction you wanna go.”

That was it. I made an appointment and had my lab tests done on February 12. My labs came back on February 14, and the following day, after paying a $5 copay at the Kaiser pharmacy, I picked up my testosterone pump. That was easy!

Top Surgery Consultation

On the same day I received my labs, I had a Zoom surgery consultation with Karly Autumn-Kaplan, MD, Kaiser Sacramento plastic surgeon. This consultation was all about discussing my “goals” for surgery, not about whether surgery was needed or appropriate.

I told the surgeon that I wanted a “flatter, more androgynous appearance.” She asked me some questions to get a better idea of what that meant for me. She said that some patients want a “male chest,” but that others “want to look like nothing, like just straight up and down, sometimes not even nipples.” Others still wanted their chest to appear slightly feminine and only “slightly rounded.” I told her that I’d like my chest to have a “male appearance.”

“What are your thoughts about keeping your nipples?” she asked. “Are you interested in having nipples or would you like them removed?” I told her that I’d like to keep my nipples, but to make them “smaller in size.” She asked me if I’d like them moved to “the edge of the peck muscle” to achieve “a more male appearance.” I said yes.

I was asked to show my bare chest from the front and side, which I did. Then she asked me how important it was for me to keep my nipple sensation. I replied that it was important unless it would make recovery more difficult or there were other associated risks. She highlighted the problem with the free nipple graft, saying that removing the nipple to relocate it means “you're not gonna have sensation in that nipple and areola anymore.” However, some nipple sensation could be preserved by keeping it attached to “a little stalk of tissue” with “real nerves going to it,” but that would require leaving more tissue behind. I told her I’d go for the free nipple graft to achieve a flatter appearance. It was also suggested I could skip nipple reconstruction entirely and just get nipples “tattooed” directly onto my chest.

She told me I was “a good candidate for surgery,” and put me on the surgery wait list. She said that the wait time was between three and five months, but a cancellation could move me up to a sooner date. Also, if I wanted surgery as soon as possible, I could tell the surgery scheduler that I’d be willing to have any of the other three surgeons perform my mastectomy. Outpatient top surgery would cost me a copay of $100.

They contacted twice, in February and March, notifying me of cancellations. If I had accepted and shown up on those dates, they would have removed my breasts. This would have been less than five months from the time I first contacted Kaiser to inform them of my new “nonbinary” gender identity.

How Far Can I Go?

I decided to see how easy it would be for me to get approved for a phalloplasty. Known euphemistically as “bottom surgery,” phalloplasty is the surgical creation of an artificial penis, generally using tissue from the thigh or arm.

I sent an email on March 1, 2023, requesting to have a phalloplasty and concurrent hysterectomy scheduled alongside my mastectomy.

Two weeks later, on March 16th, I had a 16-minute phone call with a gender specialist to discuss my goals for bottom surgery and obtain my referral.

During the call, I explained to the specialist that I wasn’t sure about taking testosterone anymore because I was already quite athletic and muscular, and that taking testosterone didn’t make much sense to me. Instead, I wanted bottom surgery so that I wouldn’t feel like my “top” didn’t match my “bottom.” I told her:

But what I really wanted was to have bottom surgery. So this way when I have my top surgery, which sounds like it could be very soon, that I’ll be aligned, that I won’t have this sense of dysphoria with one part of my body and the other part feeling like it matched who I am. So yeah. So I just did a little bit more research into that. And I looked at the resources on the Kaiser page for the MST clinic and I think I know what I want, which is the hysterectomy and then at the same time or soon after to be able to have a phalloplasty.

I told her that I wanted to schedule the top and bottom surgery concurrently so that I wouldn’t have to take more time off work and it would save me trips to San Francisco or Oakland, or wherever I had to go for surgery.

None of this gave the gender specialist pause. After a brief conversation about some online resources to look over, she told me that she would “submit the referral now and we’ll get this ball rolling.”

Bottom surgery would cost me a copay of $200, which included a couple of days in the hospital for recovery.

Phalloplasty Surgical Consultation with Nurse Coordinator

On May 16, 2023, I had a short surgical consultation with a nurse coordinator to go through my medical history. This was similar to the consultation for top surgery but included information about hair removal procedures for the skin on my “donor site” that would be fashioned into a makeshift penis. They also went over the procedures for determining which donor site—forearm or thigh—was more viable.

After only 15 minutes, she submitted my referral to the surgeon for another surgical consultation.

On May 25 I received an email from my phalloplasty surgeon’s scheduler, informing me that they have received my referral and are actively working on scheduling, but that they are experiencing delays.

I ended my investigation here once I had the referral for the top and bottom surgery. I never used my testosterone pump.

Final Thoughts

In fewer than 300 days, based on a set of superficial and shifting thoughts about my gender and my “embodiment goals” triggered by the mere mention of “gender” in a form letter from my primary care physician, and driven by what could only be described as minor discomforts, Kaiser Permanente’s esteemed “multi-disciplinary team” of “gender specialists” was willing, with enthusiasm—while ignoring mental health concerns, history of sexual trauma, and rapidly escalating surgical requests—to prescribe life-altering medications and perform surgeries to remove my breasts, uterus, and vagina, close my vaginal opening, and attempt a complex surgery with high failure and complication rates to create a functionless representation of a penis that destroys the integrity of my arm or thigh in the process.

This describes the supposedly meticulous, lengthy, and safety-focused process that a Kaiser patient must undergo to embark on a journey to medically alter their body. No clinician questioned my motivations. No one showed concern that I might be addressing a mental health issue through radical and irreversible interventions that wouldn’t address my amorphous problems. There were no discussions about how these treatments would impact my long-term health, romantic relationships, family, or sex life. I charted the course. The clinicians followed my lead without question. The guiding issue was what I wanted to look like.

No other medical field operates with this level of carelessness and disregard for patient health and welfare. No other medical field addresses issues of self-perception with surgery and labels it “medically necessary.” No other medical field is this disconnected from the reality of the patients it serves.

Kaiser has traded medicine for ideology. It’s far beyond time we stop the ruse of considering “gender-affirming” interventions as anything approaching medical care.

This isn’t the first time Kaiser Permanente has been in the news for completely disregarding medical safeguards in the name of “gender-affirming care.” As girls, Chloe Cole and Layla Jane became convinced that they were born in the wrong body and were actually boys on the inside. Doctors at Kaiser ignored their underlying conditions and instead prescribed testosterone and removed their breasts. Both Cole and Jane have since detransitioned and are currently suing Kaiser.

The fact that children and vulnerable adults are being exploited in this massive ideological experiment is not just tragic; it’s deeply disturbing, especially considering it has evolved into a billion-dollar industry.

I hope that by sharing my story, I can bring more focused scrutiny to the medical scandal unfolding not just at Kaiser but also at medical centers and hospitals across the Western world. These institutions have completely abandoned medical safeguards for patients who claim to be confused about their “gender,” and I aim to awaken more parents and assist them in protecting their children.

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This is completely insane.

Apologists online are running around saying, but she didn't mean it, she was lying, she was pretending...

It doesn't matter.

Any kind of security, penetration or integrity test is insincere too. When security researchers compromise Microsoft's operating system or Google's browser or whatever, "but they didn't mean it" is not a defence to a discovered security flaw. It doesn't matter that the security researchers didn't plan to steal data or money or identities. The flaw in the system is there regardless.

It doesn't matter that it was insincere. Because the workers didn't know that. They never checked, never asked questions, never tested. They had been taught and instructed to never ask any questions. They did what they were supposed to. And the system failed spectacularly. Because that's what "gender affirming care" means.

Additionally, the claim that Beth Bourne committed fraud is an outright lie. A patient cannot bill. They do not have the authority. The medical clinic is the only one that can bill, and they must supply a diagnosis and a medical necessity.

If they didn't diagnose her and just wrote down what she said, then they committed fraud. If they claim they did diagnose her, then they committed fraud, because the diagnosis they concocted was bogus. This, by the way, is actually going on. Clinics are reporting fake endocrine and other disorders to get blockers, hormones and other interventions. Jamie Reed and other whistleblowers have documented evidence of this. Beth Bourne is not responsible for what the clinic does. They have medical licenses and legal responsibility. Not her.

Additionally, anyone who actually read the article would know how she tested the system. She said things like, "I've always been not that feminine. So, maybe I get my boobs removed." And they said, "sure." Instead of saying, "wait, why do you think that?" Framing it as her lying is itself a lie. They violated their ethical obligations. That much is incontrovertible. And it's directly the result of "gender affirming care," where clinics and clinicians rubber-stamp anything deemed "trans" based entirely on ideological, not medical, grounds.

#Beth Bourne #undercover #undercover investigation #gender identity ideology #queer theory #nonbinary #non binary #top surgery #bottom surgery #double mastectomy #bilateral mastectomy #gender affirming care #gender affirming healthcare #gender affirmation #affirmation model #medical scandal #medical malpractice #medical corruption #religion is a mental illness

[canichangemyblogname]

I watched all eight episodes of season 1 of Blue Eye Samurai over the weekend. I then went browsing because I wanted to read some online reviews of the show to see what people were thinking of it and also because I wanted to interact with gifs and art, as the series is visually stunning.

Yet, in my search for opinions on the show, I came across several points I'd like to address in my own words:

Mizu’s history and identity are revealed piece-by-piece and the “peaches” scene with Mizu and Ringo at the lake is intended to be a major character reveal. I think it’s weird that some viewers got angry over other viewers intentionally not gendering Mizu until that reveal, rather than immediately jumping to gender the character as the other characters in the show do. The creators intentionally left Mizu’s gender and sexuality ambiguous (and quite literally wrote in lines to lead audiences to question both) to challenge the viewer’s gut assumption that this lone wolf samurai is a man. That intentional ambiguity will lead to wide and ambiguous interpretations of where Mizu fits in, if Mizu fits in at all. But don't just take my word for this:

Re: above. I also think it’s weird that some viewers got upset over other viewers continuing to acknowledge that Mizu has a very complicated relationship with her gender, even after that reveal. Canonically, she has a very complicated relationship with her identity. The character is intended to represent liminality in identity, where she’s often between identities in a world of forced binaries that aren’t (widely) socially recognized as binaries. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:

Mizu is both white and Japanese, but she is also not white and not Japanese simultaneously (too white to be Japanese and too Japanese to be white). She’s a woman and a man. She’s a man who’s a woman. She’s also a woman who’s not a woman (yet also not quite a man). But she’s also a woman; the creators said so. Mizu was raised as a boy and grew into a man, yet she was born a girl, and boyhood was imposed upon her. She’s a woman when she’s a man, a man when she’s a man, and a woman when she’s a woman.

Additionally, Mizu straddles the line between human and demon. She’s a human in the sense she’s mortal but a demon in the sense she’s not. She's human yet otherworldly. She's fallible yet greatness. She's both the ronin and the bride, the samurai and the onryō. In short, it’s complicated, and that’s the point. Ignoring that ignores a large part of her internal character struggle and development.

Mizu is intended to represent an “other,” someone who stands outside her society in every way and goes to lengths to hide this “otherness” to get by. Gender is a mask; a tool. She either hides behind a wide-brimmed hat, glasses, and laconic anger, or she hides behind makeup, her dress, and a frown. She fits in nowhere, no matter the identity she assumes. Mizu lives in a very different time period within a very different sociocultural & political system where the concept of gender and the language surrounding it is unlike what we are familiar with in our every-day lives. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:

It’s also weird that some viewers have gotten upset over the fact women and queer people (and especially queer women) see themselves in Mizu. Given her complicated relationship with identity under the patriarchy and colonial violence, I think Mizu is a great character for cis-het women and queer folks alike to relate to. Her character is also great for how she breaks the mold on the role of a biracial character in narratives about identity (she’s not some great bridge who will unite everyone). It does not hurt anyone that gender-fluid and nonbinary people see themselves in Mizu's identity and struggle with identity. It does not hurt anyone that lesbians see themselves in the way Mizu expresses her gender. It does not hurt anyone that trans men see themselves in Mizu's relationship with manhood or that trans women can see themselves in Mizu when Mama forces her to be a boy. It's also really cool that cis-het women see themselves in Mizu's struggles to find herself. Those upset over these things are missing critical aspects of Mizu's character and are no different from the other characters in the story. The only time Mizu is herself is when she’s just Mizu (“…her gender was Mizu”), and many of the other characters are unwilling to accept "just Mizu." Accepting her means accepting the complicatedness of her gender.

Being a woman under the patriarchy is complicated and gives women a complicated relationship with their gender and identity. It is dangerous to be a woman. Women face violence for being women. Being someone who challenges sex-prescribed norms and roles under patriarchy also gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to usurp gender norms and roles (then combine that with being a woman...). People who challenge the strict boxes they're assigned face violence for existing, too. Being a racial or ethnic minority in a racially homogeneous political system additionally gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to be an ethnic minority when the political system is reproduced on your exclusion and otherness. They, too, face violence for the circumstances of their birth. All of these things are true. None of them take away from the other.

Mizu is young-- in her early 20s-- and she has been hurt in deeply affecting ways. She's angry because she's been hurt in so many different ways. She's been hurt by gender violence, like "mama's" misogyny and the situation of her birth (her mother's rape and her near murder as a child), not to mention the violent and dehumanizing treatment of the women around her. She's been hurt by racial violence, like the way she has been tormented and abused since childhood for the way she looks (with people twice trying to kill her for this before adulthood). She's been hurt by state-sanctioned violence as she faces off against the opium, flesh, and black market traders working with white men in contravention of the Shogun's very policies, yet with sanction from the Shogun. She's been hurt by colonial violence, like the circumstances of her birth and the flood of human trafficking and weapons and drug trafficking in her country. She's had men break her bones and knock her down before, but only Fowler sexually differentiated her based on bone density and fracture.

Mizu also straddles the line between victim and murderer.

It seems like Mizu finding her 'feminine' and coming to terms with her 'female side' may be a part of her future character development. Women who feel caged by modern patriarchal systems and alienated from their bodies due to the patriarchy will see themselves in Mizu. They understand a desire for freedom that the narrow archetypes of the patriarchy do not afford them as women, and they see their anger and their desire for freedom in Mizu. This, especially considering that Mizu's development was driven by one of the creators' own experiences with womanhood:

No, Mizu does not pass as a man because she "hates women" or because she hates herself as a woman or being a woman. There are actual on-screen depictions of Mizu's misogyny, like her interactions with Akemi, and dressing like a man is not an instance of this. Mizu shows no discomfort with being a woman or being seen as a woman, especially when she intends to pass herself as and present as a woman. Mizu also shows the women in the series more grace and consideration than any man in the show, in whatever capacity available to her socially and politically, without revealing herself; many of the women have remarked that she is quite unlike other men, and she's okay with that, too.

When she lives on the farm with Mama and Mikio, Mizu shows no discomfort once she acclimates to the new life. But people take this as conclusive evidence of the "only time" she was happy. She was not. This life was also a dance, a performance. The story of her being both the ronin and the onryō revealed to the audience that this lifestyle also requires her to wear a mask and dance, just as the bride does. This mask is makeup, a wedding dress, and submission, and this performance is her gender as a wife. She still understands that she cannot fully be herself and only begins to express happiness and shed her reservation when she believes she is finally safe to be herself. Only to be betrayed. Being a man is her safety, and it is familiar. Being a boy protected her from the white men as a child, and it might protect her heart now.

Mizu shows no discomfort with being known as a woman, except when it potentially threatens her goals (see Ringo and the "peaches" scene). She also shows no discomfort with being known as, seen as, or referred to as a man. As an adult, she seems okay- even familiar- with people assuming she's a man and placing her into the role of a man. Yet, being born a girl who has boyhood violently imposed upon her (she did not choose what mama did to her) is also an incredibly important part of her lived experience. Being forced into boyhood, but growing into a man anyway became part of who she is. But, being a man isn’t just a part of who she became; it’s also expedient for her goals because men and women are ontologically different in her world and the system she lives under.

She's both because she's neither, because- ontologically- she fits nowhere. When other characters point out how "unlike" a man she is, she just shrugs it off, but not in a "well, yeah, because I'm NOT a man" sort of way, but in an "I'm unlike anyone, period," sort of way. She also does not seem offended by Madam Kaji saying that Mizu’s more man than any who have walked through her door.

(Mizu doesn’t even see herself as human, let alone a woman, as so defined by her society. And knowing that creators have stated her future arc is about coming into her “feminine era” or energy, I am actually scared that this show might fall into the trope of “domesticating”/“taming” the independent woman, complete with an allegory that her anger and lack of human-ness [in Mizu’s mind] is a result of a woman having too much “masculine energy” or being masculine in contravention of womanness.)

Some also seem to forget that once Mama and Mikio are dead, no one knows who she is or where she came from. They do not have her background, and they do not know about the bounty on her (who levied the bounty and why has not yet been explained). After their deaths, she could have gone free and started anew somehow. But in that moment, she chose to go back to life as a man and chose to pursue revenge for the circumstances of her birth. Going forward, this identity is no longer imposed upon her by Mama, or a result of erroneous conclusions from local kids and Master Eiji; it was because she wanted people to see her as a man and she was familiar with navigating her world, and thus her future, as a man. And it was because she was angry, too, and only men can act on their anger.

I do think it important to note that Mizu really began to allow herself to be vulnerable and open as a woman, until she was betrayed. The question I've been rattling around is: is this because she began to feel safe for the first time in her life, or is this part of how she sees women ontologically? Because she immediately returns to being a man and emotionally hard following her betrayal. But, she does seem willing to confide in Master Eiji, seek his advice, and convey her anxieties to him.

Being a man also confines Mizu to strict social boxes, and passing herself as a man is also dangerous.

Mizu doesn't suddenly get to do everything and anything she wants because she passes as a man. She has to consider her safety and the danger of her sex being "found out." She must also consider what will draw unnecessary attention to her and distract her from her goals. Many viewers, for example, were indignant that she did not offer to chaperone the mother and daughter and, instead, left them to the cold, only to drop some money at their feet later. The indignity fails consider that while she could bribe herself inside while passing as a man, she could not bribe in two strangers. Mizu is a strange man to that woman and does not necessarily have the social position to advocate for the mother and daughter. She also must consider that causing small social stirs would distract from her goals and draw certain attention to her. Mizu is also on a dangerous and violent quest.

Edo Japan was governed by strict class, age, and gender rules. Those rules applied to men as well as women. Mizu is still expected to act within these strict rules when she's a man. Being a man might allow her to pursue revenge, but she's still expected to put herself forward as a man, and that means following all the specific rules that apply to her class as a samurai, an artisan (or artist), and a man. That wide-brimmed hat, those orange-tinted glasses, and her laconic tendencies are also part of a performance. Being a boy is the first mask she wore and dance she performed, and she was originally (and tragically) forced into it.

Challenging the normative identities of her society does not guarantee her safety. She has limitations because of her "otherness," and the transgression of sex-prescribed roles has often landed people in hot water as opposed to saving them from boiling. Mizu is passing herself off as a man every day of her life at great risk to her. If her sex is "found out" on a larger scale, society won’t resort to or just start treating her as a woman. There are far worse fates than being perceived as a woman, and hers would not simply be a tsk-tsk, slap on the wrist; now you have to wear makeup. Let's not treat being a woman-- even with all the pressures, standards, fears, and risks that come with existing as a woman-- as the worst consequence for being ‘found out’ for transgressing normative identity.

The violence Mizu would face upon being "found out" won’t only be a consequence of being a "girl." Consider not just the fact she is female and “cross-dressing” (outside of theater), but also that she is a racial minority.

I also feel like many cis-het people either ignore or just cannot see the queerness in challenging gender roles (and thus also in stories that revolve around a subversion of sex-prescribed gender). They may not know how queerness-- or "otherness"-- leads to challenging strict social stratifications and binaries nor how challenging them is seen by the larger society as queer ("strange," "suspicious," "unconventional," even "dishonorable," and "fraudulent"), even when "queerness" (as in LGBTQ+) was not yet a concept as we understand it today.

Gender and sexuality- and the language we use to communicate who we are- varies greatly across time and culture. Edo Japan was governed by strict rules on what hairstyles, clothes, and weapons could be worn by which gender, age, and social group, and this was often enshrined in law. There were specific rules about who could have sex with whom and how. These values and rules were distinctly Japanese and would not incorporate Western influences until the late 1800s. Class was one of the most consequential features to define a person's fate in feudal Japan, and gender was quite stratified. This does not mean it's inappropriate for genderqueer people to see themselves in Mizu, nor does this mean that gender-variant identities didn’t exist in Edo Japan.

People in the past did not use the same language we do today to refer to themselves. Example: Alexander The Great did not call himself a "bisexual." We all understand this. However, there is a very weird trend of people using these differences in language and cultures across time to deny aspects of a historical person's life that societies today consider taboo, whether these aspects were considered taboo during that historical time period or not. Same example: people on Twitter complaining that Netflix "made" Alexander The Great "gay," and after people push back and point out that the man did, in fact, love and fuck men, hitting back with "homosexuality wasn't even a word back then" or "modern identity didn't exist back then." Sure, that word did not exist in 300s BCE Macedonia, but that doesn't mean the man didn't love men, nor does that mean that we can't recognize that he'd be considered "queer" by today's standards and language.

Genderqueer, as a word and as the concept is understood today, did not exist in feudal Japan, but the people did and feudal Japan had its own terms and concepts that referred to gender variance. But while the show takes place in Edo Japan, it is a modern adult animation series made by a French studio and two Americans (nationality). Mizu is additionally a fictional character, not a historical figure. She was not created in a vacuum. She was created in the 21st century and co-written by a man who got his start writing for Sex in the City and hails from a country that is in the midst of a giant moral panic about genderqueer/gender-variant people and gender non-conforming people.

This series was created by two Americans (nationality) for an American company. In some parts of that country, there are laws on the book strictly defining the bounds of men and women and dictating what clothes men and women could be prosecuted for wearing. Changes in language and identity over time mean that we can recognize that if Mizu lived in modern Texas, the law would consider her a drag performer, and modern political movements in the show creators' home country would include her under the queer umbrella.

So, yeah, there will also be genderqueer people who see themselves in Mizu, and there will be genderqueer fans who are firm about Mizu being queer to them and in their “headcanons.” The scene setting being Edo Japan, does not negate the modern ideas that influence the show. "Nonbinary didn't exist in Edo Japan" completely ignores that this show was created to explore the liminality of modern racial, gender, class, and normative identities. One of the creators was literally inspired by her own relationship with her biracial identity.

Ultimately, the fact Mizu, at this point in her journey, chooses to present and pass as a man and the fact her presented gender affects relationship dynamics with other characters (see: Taigen) gives this story a queer undertone. And this may have been largely unintentional: "She’s a girl, and he’s a guy, so, of course, they get together," < ignoring how said guy thinks she’s a guy and that she intentionally passes herself as a guy. Audiences ARE going to interpret this as queer because WE don’t live in Edo-era Japan. And I feel like people forget that Mizu can be a woman and the story can still have queer undertones to it at the same time.

#Blue Eye Samurai #‘If I was transported back in time… I’d try to pass myself off as a man for greater freedom.’ #^^^ does not consider the intersection of historically queer existence across time with other identities (& the limitations those include) #nor does it consider the danger of such an action #I get it. some come to this conclusion simply because they know how dangerous it is to be a woman throughout history. #but rebuking the normative identities of that time period also puts you at great risk of violence #challenging norms and rules and social & political hierarchies does not make you safer #and it has always been those who exist in the margins of society who have challenged sociocultural systems #it has always been those at greatest risk and who've faced great violence already. like Mizu #Anyway... Mizu is just Mizu #she is gender queer (or gender-variant) #because her relationship with her gender is queer. because she is gender-variant #‘queer’ as a social/political class did not exist. but people WE understand as queer existed in different historical eras #and under different cultural systems #she’s a woman because queer did not exist & ‘woman’ was the sex caste she was born into #she’s also a woman because she conceptualizes herself as so #she is a woman AND she is gender-variant #she quite literally challenges normative identity and is a clear example of what sex non-conforming means #Before the actual. historic Tokugawa shogunate banned women from theater #there were women in the theater who cross-dressed for the theater and played male roles #so I’m also really tired of seeing takes along the lines of: ‘Edo Japan was backwards so cross dressers did’t exist then!’ #like. please. be more transparent won’t you?

[buttercups-song]

Alright, so I’ve seen a couple of hot takes that there is no queerbaiting in the Loki show (and what’s even funnier that mcu has never queerbaited) because Loki is canonically queer… and like… alright so there’s no queerbaiting in spn because technically speaking cas is queer? Queerbaiting is a marketing strategy so even if we ignore what’s in the show, the chemistry between actors and some truly insane acting choices, the Loki show is queerbaiting because of how it was marketed, and especially how the first season was marketed. Before the show aired we were told that Loki was going to have multiple love interests, we were told that sophia di martino was playing loki (and told so in a way that suggested that she was playing ‘our’ loki). There is a part of the soundtrack that is literally named ‘lokius’. Even before this season started airing the marketing heavily focused on the relationship between Loki and mobius, reassuring us that Our Loki would be with Our mobius.

And alright I’ll give them that they confirmed that loki is bi/pan in episode three and let’s ignore that the confirmation was two seconds long, pretty vague, had no impact on the plot nor characters and wasn’t mentioned ever again. Ok. Fine. Honestly my much bigger gripe is with how they handled Loki’s gender.

Which is to say that they fucked up. Despite Loki being gender-fluid in the comics and despite how the show was marketed, the text of the show heavily suggests that both our Loki and Sylvie are cis. Ok so the arrest report in the credit says: “sex: fluid”. Which is completely different from saying (and showing) that Loki is gender-fluid. What is shown in the show (or rather in the credits, which let’s be real almost no one bothers to read) is that Loki’s sex is fluid… which yes he’s a shapeshifter. That’s not representation, they don’t say that Loki is trans, the fans can read it that way, but disney doesn’t have to fear backlash from conservatives because Loki in the show is not gender-fluid, he’s a shapeshifter (who doesn’t shapeshift for some reason). Sylvie literally says that she was born a “goddess of mischief”, every single other Loki is shocked by the idea of a ‘female version’ of them. It’s supposed to be a #girlboss moment but it’s not! It reads like every Loki is a (cis) man! And sure you can have a head canon that they’re shocked that Sylvie is exclusively presenting as a woman, or that Sylvie is not cis but obviously was born a goddess. But that’s not what’s in the text. From episode one when talking about the variant they’re hunting everyone in the tva uses ‘he’ pronoun when referring to them. Why? All they know is that they’re hunting a loki, so if Loki is gender-fluid (or even if their ‘sex is fluid’ as referred to in the show) why assume that the variant they’re looking for is a he? (Probably for the extremely obvious plot twist when Sylvie shows up). I’m actually so mad about this, gender-fluid representation is so rare and they took a canonically gender-fluid character and did what?

There’s so much queerbaiting in the show! And they know what they’re doing! It’s not a coincidence that they’re leaning so much into loki and mobius’ banter! It’s not a coincidence that in the First episode (!) of season two we get a scene in which Loki before pruning himself goes “if I don’t make it back, I…” which is meant to sound like a beginning of a confession! Which was a beginning of a confession last season when it was directed towards sylvie! It’s almost exactly the same scene! But let’s be real, he probably was going to say something like: “if I don’t make it back, find sylvie”.

Why are we still getting this treatment in 2023? (because it clearly pays well) If they didn’t want to give us good queer rep, why market it as such? Loki is queer in the comics, he wasn’t canonically queer in the movies (despite the immaculate vibes). They could have left it alone. I’m sure that many people still would have shipped Loki and mobius because of the incredible chemistry between actors and (let’s be real) that just how fandoms work, but that wouldn’t count as queerbaiting, because again that’s a marketing strategy.

#how many essays about Loki can I write? #loki #loki season 2 #loki show #take a shot every time I use the term queerbaiting #please don’t you’ll die

[thwreco95]

PRESENTATION IDEAS

theo or miya pan, gender fluid, infj emo & bangtan ! thv + agustd = daegu boys ♡ 95 y 93 line (stan

★ estelas, gatos, fofoca e música amo escutar o som do mar e gotas da chuva caindo!!the ngbh, the wknd, cas and lana del rey in my ears. 🎧

apresentação ideias. presentation ideas.

#bios #kpop messy #messy long locs #bios messy #apresentação #messy bios #bios meme #messy moodboard #messy packs #messy locs #bios kpop #biography #moodboard #taehyung #thwreco95 #bios memes #messy headers #the weeknd #cigarettes after sex #seguindo #para você #gif #lana del rey

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

BEVERLY HILLS, CA — A local surgeon specializing in gender reassignment has come under heavy fire recently, as his critics complain he is still stubbornly only offering "male" or "female" as options.

"This doctor is so behind the times," said Trixie Sunbreeze, an LGBTQ+ activist who has identified as 38 different genders in the last 6 weeks. "How can you present yourself as a friend to the trans community when you hatefully only allow people to become males or females? As if those are the only two genders! BIGOT!"

Dr. Rick Barnhouse, who has practiced medicine for 30 years, doesn't understand the criticism. "I'd like any of these people criticizing me to explain to me how to actually apply any of these other supposed ‘genders' to an actual human being's body," he said. "I mean, what are these other genders supposed to be, anyway? ‘Demiflux?' How is that even a word, let alone a gender?"

Despite Dr. Barnhouse's extensive experience and the respect he has garnered by mutilating the bodies of children and removing their genitalia, activists continue to decry his "narrowminded" work. "You can't tell me he doesn't know how to perform surgery to make someone ‘gender-fluid,'" Sunbreeze continued. "It's basic science these days. Someone who is ‘gender-fluid' deserves the opportunity to have interchangeable parts. Like Mr. Potato Head, but with genitalia. It's simple!"

Dr. Barnhouse stated he is still unsure how to perform gender surgeries to approximate something other than male or female. "I remember when performing sex-change operations was controversial in and of itself," he said. "Now I'm a closed-minded hater for not turning people into fantasies. Go figure. I'm beginning to think this entire gender theory stuff is really bad for people. Please don't tell anyone I said that."

At publishing time, the protesting group of activists was demanding Dr. Barnhouse perform surgery to turn a human being into a furry.

[sangre]

A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE.  REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG, with the information of your muse,  including headcanons, etc.

name: catarina raverre. nicknames: rini from wyll + which the tiefling children from the grove picked up on and call her as well, rina from shadowheart and gale, cat (funny/condescending) from astarion, karlach will enthusiastically call him Raverre!! if not soldier, and lae’zel is trying not to pick up a nickname but settles on an over emphatic ca-TA around act 3. Full-naming is very weird and intimate for her, so of course, she hears it most from the dream visitor in the shell of her ear. tav is the quick and easy introduction he gives to other NPC’s (it's what her brothers called her growing up) and will hear it from just about everyone as well. age: twenty-nine. race: asmodeus tiefling, infernal bloodline on her father’s side, draconic lineage on his mother’s. gender: fluid, he/him & she/her. often dancing the lines to have fun in presentation and feeling with both at once. orientation: bisexual. zodiac: aries. a very strong case for an aries I think. moral alignment: chaotic neutral, though he’s protective of innocence and will go out of his way on select occasions to pay back in the name of karma :wink: (Karma is also the name of the dragon that her lineage comes from). class/subclass: sorcerer - draconic bloodline. (poison dragon) background: guild artisan. interests/hobbies: woodwork and architecture hold his attention in a quiet appreciation kind of way, as in he could watch someone whittle for a long time and enjoy the silence (haha) about it – and traveling to see different kinds of buildings and interior decoration and stuff like that is very compelling, as someone who was raised with a reverence for like... ruins and the history shown in the way places are built. she loves magic. being able to storytell and stuff through that medium is very precious and memorable to him. quite nerdy behind closed doors. demanded to be read to a lot as a baby before falling asleep. LIKES NAPPING! Is sleepypilled. some other misc things he likes are intricate weaponry and gambling (he's freakishly good at catching a cheater/reading people's faces). spoken languages: fluent in common, draconic, infernal, and primordial (in addition to being able to communicate in sign in common) profession: adventurer, mostly. back at home, she follows the raverre family line in serving as a warden for a vestige that comes from the hoard that the dragon from her lineage kept and protected. she has four older brothers and one much younger brother, hence a very no-nonsense approach to bullshit. height: 5’11” colors: deep pale brown, purplish red, toxic slutch green, and fiendlike nauseous pink. fruits: grapefruit, guava, strawberries, pineapple and passionfruit. drinks: iced coffees, iced fruit juices, anything that tastes like radioactive mcdonalds sprite and buzzes and freaks out his tongue. alcoholic beverages: dark honey mead, ginger beer with lime. smokes: no but she DOES BREATHE smoke if she coughs and her temperature is too high. drugs: recreational use if he’s with friends and he gets something fun from an alchemist or druid he trusts. drivers license: can this bitch steer a horse? (Catarina voice) Sure how hard could it be. (NO) (BE CAREFUL) (GET OUT OF THE WAY) (horses get nervous around her. Most animals are okay with her/love her in fact but for some reason I think, to a horse, she has rancid vibes. I think it’s because she stares them in the eyes). ever been arrested: YUP but it did not last long!

TAGGED BY: no one i stole this from one of my old RP blogs ^p^ i wanted to party TAGGING: tagging my bagu gagu fwiends but also fwiends for other ocs! @the-lovely-lady-luck @interstices @reides @fluffy-snow-fox @kirkewrites @roberthouses @jessieleaf @killdragons @cass1x1 @bvckywrites @devilatelier

#just bringing a little indie tumblr magic back to our dashes in 2023 in a manner that brings joy. #i played w the questionnaire a bit to suit my needs so ofc do that too if it suits u :3 #EXCITED TO SEE OTHER BABIES IF ANYONE DOES IT :D #catarina

[puppytopper]

Call me Wolf; all pronouns acceptable. I’ll be your mommy, your daddy, you older sibling, or little bitch sometimes, too.

I follow back from t**-s*******-s***. @werewolfbreeder is my back up.

This blog is designed for me explore, enjoy, and experience the many and varied kinks I've run across in my 32 years. You are welcome to explore, enjoy, and experience them with me unless:

you're under the age of 20 (if I interact with a post of yours and you are under this age, please tell me and I will remove it) (if you read this, have 18, 19, or no age in your bio/pinned, and follow me anyways I WILL block you)

you have no age on your blog

you're trans or homophobic, racist, or otherwise right leaning

I am:

32

trans ftm

fluid in gender and sexuality

dominant (majority; on this blog assume any posts reblogged from a sub POV were intentioned with me as the dom)

submissive (@come-ci-come-ca for my sub blog)

Kinks (these lists will be updated as I explore more - last update 4/15/24):

pet play, biting, somno, cock size, voyuerism, objectification, edging, overstimulation, cockwarming, forced orgasms, possession/owning, tentacles/monster fucking, restraint, cnc, pregnancy/breeding, throat/face fucking, fauxcest, intox (alcohol), smoking (cigarette), hard impact play (S/M), omorashi, breath play, humiliation, corruption, blasphemy

spitting, scat, knife/weapon play, misgendering/detransition, giving birth, snuff

I tag "wolf howls" for my responses and original posts.

Asks are open, be as horny as you please. DMs are open for mutuals ONLY.

#ftm dom #wolf howls #ftm ns/fw #ftm gay #ftm nsft #trans dom #ftm top

[charcubed]

A lot of people refer to Cas as "gay," which I think is awesome and everything. But I personally always considered him more as "queer" for a number of reasons, such as:

angel genders and vessels are very fluid. Would he still be considered "gay" if he were in a female vessel, and in love with Dean? Also, there are several times in the series where Cas appears to be attracted to women (some ppl don't consider these moments valid for Reasons™ which is fine. But I do.) He also seems, in my opinion, to only be romantically interested in Dean, and I think this would be true if Dean were female. So that would make Cas closer to demi.

Point is, I recently saw a post on sm that was like "reminder: Cas is GAY. He's not bi, pan, or unlabeled, he's gay and that's not negotiable."

I consider myself queer and a huge Cas fan, so it was weird to see my interpretation of a character I know really well and relate to just be invalidated like that.

And I just kind of wanted you opinion, cuz I know like in Dean's case, seeing him as anything other than bi is pretty clearly against canon.

But is the same true for Cas? Is it wrong to see him as an umbrella "queer?" I know Misha calls him gay, which I love and respect, but I don't really let my interpretations be dictated by actor opinions. I feel like canon supports a much more fluid interpretation of Cas, but I'm just wondering if I'm wrong for that, in terms of what canon supports.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. Thanks for your thoughts in this fandom I love them

Hi!! Thank you for the nice words and for wanting to know my thoughts on this. I appreciate you :)

Sorry it took me over a week to finish this. I kind of started it, realized it was probably gonna be longer than I’d expected, and then added to it in pieces when off work so as not to half-ass it.

Also, I want you to know that I think you absolutely rock for this message. The fact that you have a strong personal interpretation or strong feelings about what your view of Cas' sexuality means to you, while being open to hearing arguments for what canon supports, is exactly the kind of nuance too many people in fandom lack. Huge fuckin shout out to you, anon, because this takes both guts and brain cells!

I have two primary threads of thought I'm going to address here, as well as how they criss-cross:

I agree that Cas' canon sexuality is a slightly different topic than Dean's canon sexuality. Dean's bisexuality is not unclear/unambiguous, and there's no wiggle room there; he's frequently attracted to women, he's frequently attracted to men, there's bi lighting, it's all not rocket science. Cas is a bit more ~ambiguously queer~, so advocating for fandom maintaining a unanimous hard stance on his canon sexuality is... a little trickier. In that vein, the "reminder" post you mentioned seeing feels too intense in my opinion for the nature of this particular conversation/topic.

That being said: from an analytical standpoint, I do think the strongest argument to be made based on canon is that Cas is gay and demi.

Since you seem open to it and asked for my thoughts overall, I'm gonna break down point 2 before circling back to point 1. Quick reminder/disclaimer that I'm not trying to invalidate you or your personal connection to Cas with anything I'm about to say, so please keep that in mind <3

You mentioned how some people don't consider Cas' moments of being attracted to women as ~being valid~ and said you disagree. That's fair! At the same time... in a nuanced fashion, that's where I land on it. I also think the show took care to ultimately build to and portray a full picture with all of that factored in, and to talk about that I kinda gotta go into detail here, because it's one part of a bigger piece. I’m not trying to turn this into a comprehensive meta deep dive, so I’m going to talk about this in a sort of summarized way but not go too far into breaking down any one point or analyzing any one scene. Hope that’s cool.

Let’s look at Cas’ biggest “moments,” as it were, with women. Or the ones I would guess people intend to reference.

First up: there’s Meg. We’ve got the “pizza man" season 6 kiss, the season 7 arc of Meg watching over Cas during his mental break, and season 8 when Meg sacrifices herself.

The season 6 "pizza man" kiss, to me, really plays into the overall mood of Cas' curiosity as he explores and tries to understand human behavior. He watched porn and was intrigued/confused/aroused, Meg kissed him partially to get at his angel blade (not a euphemism lmao), and then his curiosity kicked in so he kissed her more thoroughly because the opportunity was there. Those scenes are all connected, and he doesn’t have much of a reaction after the kiss. Then, season 7 is a whole suitcase to unpack, but… the bottom line there is that Meg treated Cas with decency when he was vulnerable in every sense of the word. And then in season 8, Cas undeniably had a fondness for Meg by the end, and they were friends... but I don't read it as him having an attraction to her or romantic feelings for her. I do not mean this as shade or hate to anyone who ships them, but my reading on that dynamic overall is that I do think Meg felt something for Cas in terms of both attraction and feelings; and while that makes it all a bittersweet tragedy, it also doesn't mean things were reciprocally non-platonic. She was into him, but he seemingly wasn’t into her in the same way. After Meg’s death, Cas also never asks about her or mentions her or has any reaction at all to her being gone–something that would have been very easy for them to incorporate with even one mention if they'd wanted to or considered it foundational. (For example, mentions of Dean's relationship with Benny are recurring throughout the show, lending its non-platonic nature and its significance for establishing bi Dean even more weight.) Season 8 Megstiel content is also placed narratively right up against the Destiel content, and the contrast of that is–of course–pretty stark. That was likely deliberate. Cas’ feelings for Dean are unavoidably, unmistakably at the forefront.

Then you've got season 9. A newly human Cas–who was given the heteronormative suggestion by Metatron to "Find a wife. Make babies."–gets seduced then killed by April, all of which is traumatizing dubious consent galore. Then you’ve got Cas thinking he's being asked out on a date by a woman in 9x06 as he’s trying to figure out his life as a human. He even says this explicitly to Dean: “Going on dates… that's something humans do, right?” He is doing what he thinks he’s meant to be doing as a human, but is that action based in genuine desire? That line implies the answer being no. Contextually this is, of course, set against the jilted lover vibes he has with Dean in that episode. And then in the season at large, Cas becomes focused on his overall mission–a search for purpose, which (as Metatron helpfully points out later) becomes oriented around saving Dean.

Season 10 is up next. Hannah is very clearly interested in Cas, but Cas is a giant question mark in the face of all of her interest pretty consistently. In all honesty, the way Hannah comes onto Cas—the construction of the scenes—feels like it was intended to show that Cas isn’t interested in women. Half the time he doesn’t clock her vibes, and the other half the time he awkwardly avoids acknowledging it. This culminates in her standing in front of him naked in the clearest signal she can give… and as he says, he’s ~not bothered~ by it. He’s just... well, he's gay. Lmfao. And speaking of the naked Hannah scene in 10x07, something I personally find highly amusing is that that naked scene is immediately followed by Dean enthusiastically making out with a woman. It’s a smash cut with a very pointed contrast, in my opinion! I was very struck by it.

So that's my mini tour (with imperfect recall) of Cas' Moments With Women in the story and how I feel they're positioned.

And to touch upon the idea of contrast a bit further… With Dean, there are ample moments and instances where he canonically expresses (joyful or uncomplicated) sexual attraction to women, and/or romantic love for women throughout the show. This is why his canonical attraction to women should never be in question, as part of his bisexuality. But with Cas... I don’t personally feel we have a scene of his where we can unequivocally say the same. There are always story elements at play that indicate complex motivation, or when a woman (or woman-shaped being? lol) may be interested in him there doesn’t seem to be genuine reciprocal interest on his part. The absence of a clear scene establishing he’s unequivocally attracted to women doesn’t mean he couldn’t hypothetically be… but there are no significant moments that convince me that that’s the case in canon. Instead, I think the picture these layered moments paint of Cas and his sexuality is solidified as the story progress–as part of how his sense of self solidifies and emerges story-wide in kind. By that I mean: the shades of how he reacts to Hannah are there in his reactions to Meg’s interest years prior, but in season 10 they feel more clear because by that point he understands himself better (especially after his time as a human) and has formulated his identity as a person more than he had, for example, in season 6.

The secondary part of this though is the queercoding attached to Cas–which is, by and large, gay coding. (There is also more contrast here in comparison to Dean's bi coding in that regard.) By “gay” coding, I mean… Dean describes Cas as having "sensible shoes,” which is gay slang/code, though more commonly used in reference to lesbians. Cas uses female pop artists for his aliases, which is a wink/nod to stereotypes of gay men—a pattern that’s established in later seasons concurrently to the Destiel narrative taking even deeper root. The specific micro-agressions (and outright aggressions) Cas is subjected to by others—as he's clocked as being an outsider who doesn't fit and for being in love with Dean, in ways that are often tangled together—are traditionally gay story devices at play. And I'm also fond of the seeming significance of Cas' conversation with Pastor Joe in 15x15. Cas asks the Pastor what he means by people of "all backgrounds," being welcomed, and the Pastor says, "Connor didn't have to live in fear of who he was. A gay man who believed in a tolerant God." And Cas says, "Well, I imagine not everyone was happy with the change."

In terms of why I say he’s also demi… Cas is seemingly never ~interested~ in anyone but Dean. Now, part of that is of course a byproduct of the storytelling structures he's given. But nonetheless, his singleminded focus on / interest in / devotion to Dean feels unwavering in its totality. Even as Dean stops looking to date other people in later seasons because he knows he’s fallen in love with Cas, there’s still references to or nods to his attraction to men and women as a significant part of who he is. But unless I’m forgetting things, Cas just… doesn’t really seem to have that embedded into his character. He's got an emotional attachment to (and "profound bond" with) Dean, and his attraction to and love for Dean is part of its natural extension. That’s where the demi reading comes in for me, but it’s certainly a side note / asterisk to him being gay, which I think is the prime part of his identity the text deliberately points towards overall.

Regarding Cas' gender and how that may affect any part of this discussion... Is Cas non-binary? Well, in the show overall, angels are obviously considered ~celestial wavelengths of intent~. We see the fluidity of angels in different gendered vessels, and one could say the angels' primary gender is sort of "genderless" as default. Sure. But... at minimum, I feel it's implied that Cas comes to feel at home in a male vessel's body, and in what has legitimately become his body. As Dean says, "It's not an 'it,' Sam. It's Cas." And ultimately, I feel the gender question is not really a huge part of the point in regards to how canon presents this queer story to us.

To the question of if Cas would still be "gay" if he was in a female vessel and fell in love with Dean–or even to a question of "what if Dean was a woman" I've seen plenty of other people pose in various contexts–I think it's almost like... a moot point. The homoeroticism of Dean and Cas' dynamic is significant in a multilayered way, and that was true from day one. Their dynamic is very much affected by and built on them being 2 masculine men (or Cas being perceived as a "man" if you want to go that route), both in story and out of it, particularly in Dean's reactions to Cas. And the romance, tension, push-and-pull, miscommunication, coding, and censorship–the latter being a thing that shaped story choices over the years–all exist in a specific way because their relationship is undeniably, visibly queer. Destiel as we know it could not and would not be the same if one of them was in a perceived woman's body. Their interactions would have been vastly different, and thus in my head it's impossible to conceptualize.

Supernatural is also very much a story about the deconstruction of toxic masculinity while maintaining masculinity through a queer lens. This is its own separate topic that I actually have been wanting to make a post about for awhile now (in part because over-feminization of their characters in fandom, especially in ways that lead to apply ill-fitting repression narratives to Dean's canon, can miss several points about this). Those masculinity themes are so centralized because of Dean and Cas' romance and the fact that they are two men. There is significance there, both historically and culturally.

So while maybe Cas would or could identify as non-binary... It doesn't seem like a viewpoint he is particularly aligned with, and it also doesn't feel like a significant element at play in this queer love story. That makes me tip towards saying it's not a huge factor in discussions of exact readings or terminology for Cas' canonical sexuality/identity.

As a side note: to a certain extent, I also find it interesting to contemplate how some of their miscommunication in-narrative maybe extends into the idea that Dean is attracted to women and Cas seems not to be. More than once, Dean tries to bond with Cas through ~typical male~ interests, such as when he takes him to a strip club. Dean being bi doesn't mean he avoids having heteronormativity on the brain lol, and that sort of thing in his experience is usually quick-and-easy guy bonding time, especially in hunting culture. But while Cas learns how to be human in a metaphorical sense from the Winchesters' examples in several ways (both the good and the bad habits/lessons), something he can't/doesn't pick up is attraction to women or how to act on or express that sort of attraction, because it just doesn't seem innate to him. So while Dean and Cas are certainly both queer, to me they exhibit different forms of queer experiences (bi and gay) in characteristics and in story and in coding that add a layer to their dynamic. It's a little bit of a difference between them that they maybe don't know how to awkwardly address with each other, because they often don't fucking communicate, and I can see it contributing to Dean wondering if / how much Cas has capacity to "feel that way"... making him think Cas maybe doesn't reciprocate his desire. Because they're both stupid.

Anyway! Anyway.

Back to the main points:

Let me summarize.

I personally don't think Cas is attracted to women, and that the story points to him going through a journey of learning that about himself as he grows into himself over time. The queercoding in connection to him, such as it is, also rings of being gay coding. Considering we see him primarily or solely so strongly interested in Dean, an argument/hypothesis for him being demi doesn't feel off the mark. And I don't think the question of angelic gender is super relevant to what canon points to in this discussion for Cas specifically, because I do think the m/m nature of Destiel is relevant to their story and dynamic with each other, and by later seasons at minimum Cas is seemingly comfortably "a man" (perhaps even more so than an ambiguously gendered Being).

Is there a stronger or more persuasive argument to be made about the specifics of Cas' sexuality in canon? I'd be open to hearing it, of course, but I just kind of doubt any other argument would be convincing enough to change my mind when factoring in all of the story elements at play.

However. All of this being said:

I would certainly not call an umbrella use of the word "queer" wrong for Cas. I think it is, in fact, very applicable! For one thing, the word "queer" in this instance effectively encompasses a combined gay and demi reading, as an example. For another thing, it's an understandable hat tip that simplifies his various complexities as an angel. It works.

I'm also not die-on-this-hill militant about the use of the word "gay" for Cas because I'm cognizant of how things are not 100% clearcut with him. I do not say this to negate my own analysis, but rather because I can acknowledge the truth of this particular situation. While I do think the above full picture kind of adds up to him being specifically gay, this is an instance where there is room for nuance within it and giving grace to–dare I say it–"interpretations." I personally don't really agree with or particularly feel comfortable considering him bi or pan specifically, given all the factors at play; but it doesn't overtly upset me that others do. For example, he did indeed have sex with April as a human, and I find I can't get mad at people who choose to take his interest in that moment 100% at face value, especially considering the fact that what I view to be his overall "gay arc" certainly has subtlety and room for subjectivity in it.

In conclusion,

I don't know if this post answers all your questions, anon. I don't know if it will help you or make you feel bad for some reason, though I certainly hope it's the former rather than the later! And I apologize for the length, but you touched on a lot of different branches in your message, and I'm nothing if not someone who maps out a whole fucking tree when asked to lmfaaaoooo.

Thank you for your patience as this post took me WAY too long to complete smh. Like what the hell, truly. You're a star, I love ya, and for what little it's worth I do infer that lots of people in fandom (perhaps even Misha) use "gay" as an umbrella word in reference to Cas. (I am sympathetic to your plight if that makes you feel weird though; it's not the same situation by any means, but I will share that I'm suspicious of people who call Dean "gay" even flippantly at this point, because nowadays I don't trust that shit lmao)

Send me thoughts and prayers because the "e" key on my laptop's keyboard has started periodically sticking and it's been driving me insane while working on writing this.

#castiel #supernatural #castiel meta #gay cas #?¿? #this is long enough it warrants tags. fuck it #anonymous #asks #char writes things #spn meta #destiel

[brandnewhuman]

Hey I was wondering if you could do a slasher match up, it’s cool if not!

I’m a ✨fluffy✨ 5’5 gender-fluid person. I usually wear baby comfy clothes and usually have my hair down. I love to draw both traditional and digital. I love horror even though with my active imagination end up terrifying myself. I am an introvert but I have my extrovert moments. I usually keep to myself, but with people I trust I will spend hours talking or just vibing. I hate when people touch me unless either 1. I initiate touch. Or 2. I tell them that they are allowed to touch me. If anyone touches me that I don’t know or like, I have accidentally broken a few bones. I like to stay in my room most days and spend hours either reading, drawing, watching movies, or resting with mountain of plushies. I like to talk a lot but I have a social battery that when empty I will become aggressive. I am fairly strong due to having to help out on my families farm. I like fall more than the other season and Halloween is my favorite holiday. I also tend to have a people pleaser complex and tend to worry about others, but also somehow speak brutally honest.

I paired you up with...

♡ Rz Michael Myers ♡

♪IT'S CUFFING SEASOOON♪ big boy here is your perfect match, bro is quite literally all you need ARGUE WITH THE WALL

WHY HE'S THE BEST MATCH?:

For starters, i think we can all agree on the massive size kink we all collectively have in the slasher community and this man? BIG, HUGE EVEN. BRO IS BUILT LIKE A MF TREE.

Like you, he opens up only to people he truly loves and trusts so I think he would appreciate this personality trait of yours cause it makes him feel special to know you feel this nice around him, that you open up and start being more yourself when he's with you. Loves the stay at home activities and you can bet he's gonna do DIY projects and artsy stuff with you CAUSE OUR MAN HERE IS WHAT? TALENTED AND CREATIVE, EXACTLY.

Ngl, if he finds out you get a bit scared of horror movies because you overthink about them, he would fuck around and spook you from time to time but just for shits and giggles, never too seriously. Bro doesn't have a single ounce of respect inside his body.

Physical touch is difficult for him too, and because of how you are about it I think he would be perfect for you. He needs someone who won't make him feel guilty if he doesn't feel like being physically affectionate and stuff but at the same time he needs to be able to feel comfortable enough to know he can ask for it and try to be more affectionate without the person taking advantage of him. Weirdly enough, boundaries help him regulate himself on how to express his love for people cause he has never had anyone teaching him these things so he needs to be guided a little bit.

Speaking of social battery thing, his has never been charged lmao THIS MAN IS SO DONE WITH HUMANITY FR. But for you? He's sitting there and listening to every single word you might say. And you may think he's not gonna pay attention and end up forgetting everything BUT YOU'RE WRONG. He proves he listens with small gestures; if you talk about certain food things you like, you'll find them in the house the next day. If you tell him about a movie, he puts it on the TV when you're watching stuff with him the night after. If you talk about someone bothering you, they're gone. Which is a problem cause half of the fucking town will start to disappear since he takes even the smallest thing that might've annoyed you very seriously, BRO IS NOT PLAYING GAMES.. HE WILL KILL BITCHES FOR YOU. and in general too, but that's not the point. Also he loves to just hang out in silence around you if you don't wanna talk, and if you want alone time he's gonna take the opportunity and go do his own thing. This type of freedom and having the choice to finally do whatever he wants without being forced to do anything else is really refreshing for him.

As soon as you say Halloween is your fav Holliday he's gonna be like "you can't handle the uber instincts of my uber autism" AND GOES CRAZY FR FR. He makes you a Halloween mask, he sits with you to watch old horror movies, makes you buy candy or steals it for the both of you. Obviously he's gonna go and do some killz and all that jazz, BUT MOSTLY HE'S GONNA SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WITH YOU.

Overall he matches really well with your creative and chill personality, he feels safer with someone who's not overwhelmingly clingy and loving but still shows affection and stuff.

WELL, THAT'S ALL FOLKS. I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND I KNOW ITS A BIT SHITTY BUT THATS BC I HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN A WHILE.

Song that matches the vibe:

#slasher fandom #slasher community #slashers #slasher x reader #slasher matchups #rz michael myers #rz halloween #michael myers #horror movies #halloween #halloween movie

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas!

This is really quite a personal question, so please feel free to completely ignore it/don't respond if it's crossing any of your boundaries of what you are willing to discuss or anything.

I know you identify as gender fluid, so I was just wondering how you... knew? And what it means to you? Because right now I'm thinking I might be genderfluid, and I really don't know how to feel about that... some days I feel like a girl (my assigned gender), but then other days all I want is to be born a boy and I hate my body and being called a girl. But then other times I will look at girls and think if I looked and felt like them everything would just be easier.

Sorry if this is too personal, but any guidance you could provide would be much appreciated xx

Hi! <3

No, not too personal!

I started by realizing that when i looked at certain people, I got a lot of gender envy- people like Conan Gray, lol. And I did some soul searching about that and realized that sometimes I feel what I now realize is dysphoria. I told my wife, and we experimented with she/they pronouns. And from there, it was a LOT of research about different nonbinary terms. I struggled, because I felt kind of like you're saying- some days, I'm cool with being perceived as a girl. But others I would kill to be a boy. And when i read about genderfluid, I realized that fits- my gender expression changes!

I'm still doing a lot of work on what it means to me. My wife is actually making me a 'gender blanket' which is like a temperature blanket but each color corresponds to a different gender that I've defined (things like 'very femme' 'slightly femme' 'boygirl' 'girlboy' 'very masc' 'slightly masc' and 'no real gender') and every day she adds a color according to how I'm feeling that day, which has been helpful for me to find words to express how I'm feelings.

I don't know if this is helpful at all, lol, but I would say doing a lot of research and self-reflection is important. It's also okay to change your mind and update your preferences based on what you find out.

I'm naming you appreciative anon in case you want to write again!

#ask #asks #ask cas #appreciative anon

[faithandfairies]

Supernatural Musings: 12x10

I just find Supernatural fascinating for different reasons now.

I love the little details that cater to the whole “sexuality and gender are fluid” of it all.

In 12x10 there’s the angel Benjamin who inhabits a female vessel, a woman whom he’s fond of and whose body he therefore takes good care of. And when the brothers comment on it asking if Benjamin is a female Castiel explains it as “Benjamin is an angel, his body is female.” And I love that explanation.

And it just reminds me that Rafael also switches between male and female vessels. 

And then in the same episode we find out that Castiel’s previous vessel centuries ago was that of a woman. Basically a female and less brooding version of the vessel he has now.

And it just takes me back to 14x13 where Dean’s dad refers to Castiel as a male angel and how I thought that was unnecessary and having seen 12x10 Cas’ view of things just underlines that angels according to this show don’t really seem to think of gender and sexuality the same way most humans do. They don’t seem that hung up on it.

Hell, even with Cas in love with Dean, the angels’ issue isn’t really that Cas is in love with “another man”, it’s that he’s in love with a human and that they find it distracts him. They also seems to consider humans beneath them as a species.

But it really makes me question the lore on their biology according to this show. Like would Anna technically be able to impregnate a human woman?

I also like that they do talk. I’ve said before that Sam and Dean are not good at deep conversation and they don’t like doing it. But they do try. It’s nice to see how far they’ve come. How much they’ve grown.

Low-key attracted to Castiel in a female vessel, not gonna lie.

I also love that the angel they’re prosecuting pretty much says about being with a human woman “How can you know a human and not love them?” And I love how the camera then pans to Castiel in a female body no less looking curious and confused at the same time as he’s processing that.

And then we get that this woman was using this angel as her protector. It’s unclear whether she actually loved him. I kind of like the ambiguity of it because once again it kind of immediately brings to mind to parallel it with Cas and Dean. And the age old question of is Dean in love with Cas?

I love how Dean rushes Isham and then as he ends up against the wall for his troubles, Cas looks to the side to where Dean landed and immediately swipes at Isham like “Did you just throw my fucking boyfriend against the wall?”

And then Dean has the opportunity to get the drop on Isham but doesn’t because the possibility of it possibly killing Cas is enough to stop him. Never mind that that decision would most likely have gotten them both killed instead. 

Definitely a favorite, this episode.

#spn #supernatural #dean #cas #castiel #destiel #12x10 #spn 12x10

[soldier-requests]

Ngl Scottish me Bakugo was very cursed. Thanks 👍

This is Completely Random Stranger. By the Way.

Could I get some pronouns for that Max gift stimboard you made for... [Checks notes.] ....a friend. Fangs OC seems very gender :]

hello!! glad you liked it, completely random stranger! :] i almost think i should give you that as an anon tag LOL.

and sure!! hopefully you like what i came up with. your pronouns are under the cut!

act/acts

acting/acting(‘s)

actor/actors

actress/actress(es)

angry/angry(‘s)

ax/axes, axe/axes

bad/ass

bad/bads

bad/boy(s)

bad/girl(s)

bad/omen(s)

bari/bari(s)

bari/tone(s)

bark/barks

bee/bees, bie/bies

bit/ters

bitter/bitters

black/blacks

blade/blades

bleak/bleaks

bleed/bleeds

blood/bloods

blush/blush(es)

bone/bones

boot/boots

bour/bon

bow/bows

bow/tie(s)

break/breaks

breakup/breakup(s)

broke/broken

broke/brokes

broken/heart(s)

bruise/bruises

burn/burns

ca/nine(s)

can/dle(s)

candle/candles

canine/canines

cast/casts

cat/cats

chain/chains

chaos/chaos(‘s)

claw/claws

coal/coals

crack/crackle

crack/cracks

crack/cracks

crackle/crackles

crim/son(s)

crimson/crimsons

crow/crows

crown/crowns

curse/cursed

curse/curses

cut/cuts

cute/cutes

cute/cutie

cutie/cuties

cutie/pie(s)

dag/gers

dagger/daggers

damn/damned

damn/damns

damned/damned('s)

dar/ling(s)

dark/darks

darling/darlings

de/des

de/mon(s)

dead/deads

dear/dears

death/deaths

deep/deeps

demon/demons

devil/devils

dia/mond(s)

diamond/diamonds

dirt/bag(s)

dog/dogs

drama/dramas

dream/dreams

drink/drinks

drip/drips

drip/drops

drop/drops

drunk/drunks

dusk/dusks

dusk/dusky

ear/rings

earring/earrings

eerie/eeries

eldritch/eldritch(es)

em/bers

ember/embers

emo/emos

eve/eves

evening/evenings

evil/evils

fashion/fashions

fatal/fatals

fate/al(s)

fate/fates

fe/line(s)

feline/felines

feral/ferals

ferro/ferros

fiend/fiends

fight/fights

fire/fires

fire/works

flame/flames

fluid/fluids

freak/freaks

fuck/fucks

fun/funeral(s)

funeral/funerals

gem/gems

god/damn

god/gods

goth/gothic(s)

goth/goths

grave/graves

grave/gravestone(s)

gravestone/gravestones

grief/griefs

grime/grimes

grin/grins

growl/growls

grudge/grudge(s)

grunge/grunge(s)

handsome/handsomes

hart/harts

haunt/haunts

heart/broken

heart/hearts

hell/hells

hell/hound(s)

hellhound/hellhounds

herb/herbs

hop/hops

hope/hopes

hope/less(‘s)

hopeless/hopeless(‘s)

horror/horrors

hos/tile(s)

hostile/hostiles

hound/hounds

hush/hush(es)

hx/hxm

ink/inks

ink/inky

jet/black

jet/jets

jewel/jewels

jewelry/jewelry(‘s)

joke/jokes

jump/jumps

jump/scare(s)

jumpscare/jumpscares

keg/kegs

keg/stand(s)

king/kings

knife/knives

knives/knives(‘s)

know/knows

lace/laces

laugh/laughs

leap/leaps

less/lesses

light/lighter

light/lights

lighter/lighters

lo/ser(s)

loser/boy(‘s)

loser/girl(‘s)

loser/losers

low/lows

lust/lustful

lust/lusts

lustful/lustful(‘s)

ma/roon(s)

mace/maces

mad/mads

make/makes

make/up

makeup/makeup(s)

mare/mares

maroon/maroons

max/imum

max/maxes

max/max’s

maxie/maxies, maxi/maxies

maximum/maximums

meme/memes

mid/mids

mid/nights

midnight/midnights

mon/mons

mourn/mourns

murk/murks

murk/murky

murky/murky(‘s)

music/musics

mutt/mutts

muzzle/muzzles

nail/nails

nail/polish

nerve/nerves

nerve/nervous

night/midnights

night/nights

nightmare/nightmares

ob/sidians

obsidian/obsidians

omen/omens

onyx/onyx(‘s)

out/cast(s)

out/outs

pitch/black

pitch/pitch(es)

poi/son(s)

poison/poisons

polish/polish(es)

pon/pons

pop/pops

pour/pours

pretty/pretty(‘s)

prince/prince(s)

princess/princess(es)

queen/queens

ray/rays

ray/ven

re/gret(s)

red/reds

regret/regrets

rib/ribs

ride/rider

ride/rides

ring/rings

roar/roars

rogue/rogues

ruin/ruins

run/runs

sad/sads

scare/scares

scare/scary

scorch/scorches

scream/screams

screamo/screamo(‘s)

self/selfs

set/sets

sev/sevs

sev/ven(s)

sev/ver

seven/sevens

sever/severs

sharp/sharps

sharp/teeth

shh/shhs

shoe/shoes

shush/shush(es)

shx/hxr

sick/sicks

sin/sins

skull/skulls

slash/slashes

smirk/smirks

smoke/smokes

smoke/smokey

snap/snaps

snarl/snarls

som/bers

som/soms

somber/sombers

son/sons

sorrow/sorrows

spark/sparkle(s)

spark/sparks

sparkle/sparkles

spine/spines

sprint/sprints

stag/stags

stall/stalls

stallion/stallions

stand/stands

star/less(‘s)

starless/starless(‘s)

starve/starves

stone/stones

stud/studs

sun/suns

swipe/swipes

tat/tats

tat/too

tattoo/tattoo(s)

teeth/teeths

teeth/tooth

that/thats

that/thing(s)

the/max (as in ‘to the max’)

thing/things

thxy/thxm

tie/ties

tiger/tigers

tone/tones

tooth/teeth

un/lits

un/nerves

unlit/unlit(‘s)

unnerve/unnerves

up/set(s)

up/ups

vam/pire(s)

vamp/vamps

vampire/vampires

vein/veins

ven/vens

vial/vials

void/voids

wea/pon(s)

weapon/weapons

wild/wilds

win/ner(s)

winner/winners

woodland/woodlands

woof/woofs

wrath/wraths

yawn/yawns

yearn/yearns

zom/zoms

zomb/zombs

zombie/zombies

#request accepted | ''Allons-y; Allonzo!'' #neopronoun suggestions | ''Sounds fun! I might just make a list of my own.'' #neopronoun suggestions #neopronouns list #ockin #oc kin

[stagnantgrief]

Prev anon here. First, I thought destiel WAS CANON because cas says “i love you” so the show acknowledges the ship. But because dean doesnt say it back, its not canon and they hate the show? Why can’t they be happy ugh. Secondly, they think Jared is homophobic because he doesn’t ship destiel? uuuugh nothing makes sense

Hi Anon! from Jared & Jensen's own words it was a platonic declaration of love, only Misha & his base took it as romantic. So no, not canonically gay or Dean SLASH Castiel. Just friendship, and while I don't have an issue with the ship or taking it as a romantic declaration, it's the bulk of the shippers that make it insufferable. And yes, essentially they think Jared, one of the biggest supporters of LGBTQIA+ youth in Texas who's also a notorious help and donator for the cause is homophobic. Even though he's repeatedly supported fans headcanoning Sam as gender fluid, trans, etc. Basically they just hate Sam, and Jared by extension, because he and Dean's (and Jensen's too, tbh) got in the way of their ship and the way they wanted the show to go.

#asks #anti misha collins #anti hellers #to be clear: i don't dislike destiel as a ship #in fact i used to ship it myself #it's mainly the fans and misha who made it so abhorrent to me and to many others in the community

[prpfs]

Carry On 🥀🪦

Hiya! My name is Jay (21 F) and I have spiraled back into my CW Supernatural phase and am eagerly looking for a couple extra roleplay partners to do some AU or Canon Divergent gay CC x CC Supernatural Roleplays with ♥️

A little about me and my roleplaying style— I have been roleplaying for 7+ years and I keep to a lit / advanced lit writing style. 3rd person, usually past tense but sometimes tense changes. I don’t mind writing doubles, I’m pretty flexible there. I try to keep my replies steady, though if for some reason I’m unable to reply within a week, I’ll try to message to let you know what’s going on. I love ooc talk, plotting, sharing music, fanart, TikToks, etc. I use discord for my roleplays (creating a server is just easier for me) and I will share my ID once we talk in DM.

Regarding content of my roleplays. I am always down for smut, but I try to keep a pretty even smut-to-plot ratio (50 : 50). I am looking for mlm or mlnb relationships, but I’m cool with trans characters / gender-fluid characters as well. I do want to make it clear that I roleplay switch characters only. I like to take turns doing dom/top and sub/bottom characters. If you prefer strictly sub/bottom, I don’t think we’ll be a good match. When it comes to kinks / scenes, I’m using the “traffic light” system with Red being hard NO’s, Yellow being soft Maybe’s, Green being enthusiastic Yes’s.

NO 🔴 : child/adult pairings, anything involving “bathroom play”, baby play, feet, beastiality

Maybe 🟡 : noncon/dubcon, weapon play, monster play, blood play, abduction/hostage, incest, mpreg, A/B/O

Yes 🟢 : bondage play, S & M, degradation / praise, sex toys, cross dressing / feminization, public/semi-public, Master/servant, Daddy kink, sex workers, drug use, costumes

Now onto the good stuff! When it comes to ships and plots, I am a huuuuge fan of darker plots (this is the CW Supernatural after all 🤭). I am currently in the process of rewatching the show, so my memory of later seasons is a bit hazy, but I should be good to do AUs with supernatural themes/undertones. Below are the ships I’d be interested in. The characters I would play are in bold.

Dean Winchester x Castiel

Sam Winchester x Gabriel

Sam Winchester x Castiel

Dean Winchester x Gabriel

Sam Winchester x Dean Winchester (see note*)

*I would totally be down with doing a plot in which Sam, Dean, and Cas (and Gabe) are in a three/four way relationship with one another, but I know these types of plots can be rather complicated. I don’t mind wincest— so long as an Angel is thrown in there to even things out 😂

In terms of plots, I have a few ideas that I would love, love, love to do! Again, I’m a big fan of darker themes / plots. Recently, I’ve had a weak spot for a good demon!Sam/Dean or Hunter!Sam/Dean x priest!Castiel/Gabriel or hunter!Castiel/Gabriel. I also love a good cat n mouse, enemies to lovers scenario where the Winchesters are criminals/bank robbers/conmen who end up meeting Castiel/Gabriel (who could be Detectives, Police Officers, fellow criminals, or simply innocent bystanders) and a sexual-tension fueled rivalry ensues. I’m also a big fan of monster/hunter, end!verse/apocalypse, mafia AUs, etc.

Aaaaand I think that is about it! Thank you so much for your time! If you’re interested, leave a note and I will DM you ♥️

Leave a like, and anon will get back to you!

#supernatural roleplay #supernatural rp #fandom roleplay #fandom rp #cc x cc #nuclear #tiny text for ts

[panda-state-panoptic]

Behold

The gender map

AL: amab, cis man, he/him

AK: afab, cis woman, she/her

AZ: amab, cis man, he/him

AR: afab, cis woman, she/her

CA: afab, cis woman, she/her

CO: afab, trans man, he/him

CT: amab, cis man, he/him

DE: afab, cis woman, she/her

FL: intersex, omnigender, any pronouns

GA: afab, cis woman, she/her

HI: afab, cis woman, she/her

ID: amab, cis man, he/him

IL: amab, cis man, he/him

IN: afab, cis woman, she/her

IA: afab, cis woman, she/her

KS: afab, cis woman, she/her

KY: amab, cis man, he/him

LA: afab, cis woman, she/her

ME: amab, cis man, he/him

MD: amab, cis man, he/him

MA: afab, cis woman, she/her

MI: amab, cis man, he/him

MN: afab, cis woman, she/her

MS: amab, cis man, he/him

MO: afab, cis woman, she/her

MT: afab, cis woman, she/her

NE: amab, cis man, he/him

NV: intersex, gender-fluid, he/she

NH: afab, cis woman, she/her

NJ: amab, cis man, he/him

NM: amab, cis man, he/him

NY: amab, gnc man, he/they

NC: afab, cis woman, she/her

ND: amab, cis man, he/him

OH: amab, cis man, he/him

OK: amab, cis man, he/him

OR: amab, cis man, he/him

PA: afab, gnc woman, she/they

RI: amab, cis man, he/him

SC: afab, cis woman, she/her

SD: amab, cis man, he/him

TN: afab, cis woman, she/her

TX: amab, cis man, he/him

UT: afab, cis woman, she/her

VT: amab, cis man, he/him

VA: amab, cis man, he/him

WA: amab, nonbinary, they/them

WV: afab, cis woman, she/her

WI: afab, cis woman, she/her

WY: amab, cis man, he/him

#aph hetalia #hetalia #hetalia world stars #hws hetalia #aph #aph america #hetalia oc #hws #hetalia world series #hetalia original character #hetalia ocs #hetalia state au #state hetalia #hetalia states #hetalia au #hetalia america #statetalia #ustalia

[raven-blends]

Day 5- Discover Weekly

Day 5 of The Sims X Spotify CAS Challenge by @scorpioland- Discover Weekly

The only thing I discovered is that my discover weekly is really weird

WCIF Friendly | ID: revengelovers | Blender Scene: BelHome

- It is so good to discover a new music! Search for your Discover Weekly playlist, start listening to it and open your game - if the music playling is sung by a female make a male sim, if the music playing is sung by a male make a female sim, if it’s sung by a gender fluid or transgender person make a gender fluid or transgender sim. - also don’t forget to save the music you like

#sims 4 cc #sims 4 #blender render sims 4 #sims 4 lookbook #sims #blender sims #sims 4 custom content #ts4 #ts4 cc #the sims 4 #ts4 custom content #ts4 download #the sims #sims 4 mods #sim 4 #sims cc #sims 4 cas #create a sim #blender scene #sims blender #blender render #blender #sscaschallenge #simblr