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markandlexies · 3 years

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The One With Will and JJ’s Wedding - Part 2

Summary: Based off of 7.24 and 8.01 of Friends! During Will and JJ’s wedding, the group finds out who is actually pregnant and try to figure out who the father is, a mysterious red sweater being their only clue.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (eventually lol)

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: Hey! Thanks for the love on the last chapter! I apologize that there is barely any Spence and Reader rn but it’ll def pick up in the next chapter! Keep sending responses and requests! I love to hear from you guys! And yes, I picked this gif on purpose. Enjoy!

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

While the guests of the evening went on to party and get plastered, you, Spencer, Emily, Hotch, Penelope, Derek and Rossi had stayed to take pictures with the newly weds.

You, Emily and Penelope sat and watched while JJ and Will took photos with the men.

While the cameraman changed film, Morgan leaned over to JJ and whispered, “Okay, I-I know, I’m not supposed to know but I do and I am so excited for you!”

Clearly not being as low as he thought he was being, Spencer’s head perked up, “Wait, what’s going on?”

Before JJ could even respond, Morgan cheered, “JJ’s pregnant!”

Hotch and Rossi’s heads immediately turned at the news and they broke out in huge smiles.

“Oh my God, JJ!” Spencer smiled, pulling her into a hug.

Will just laughed to himself as Rossi followed with two kisses to the cheek and Hotch gasped with a, “This is great news!”

“Thank you guys, but I’m not pregnant!”

“Oh, slow swimmers?” Rossi asked Will who gave him a bewildered look.

“W-what?! What do you mean, you’re not pregnant?” Morgan clearly confused.

JJ pinched the bridge of her nose, “Derek, you didn’t tell anyone I was, did you?”

“No…” he paused. “I’ll be right back.”

While Derek scurried away to go correct the mess he had made, JJ turned to Spencer, ushering him to go after the man and make sure he didn’t make the situation any worse. As he left, the cameraman told Rossi and Hotch they were free to leave and it was now turn for the pictures with the bridesmaids.

Waltzing up to the pair, Penelope asked, “JJ, why’d you tell the guys you weren’t pregnant?”

“Because I’m not!” She replied, clearly fed up with having to go through this so many times.

Emily rolled her eyes, “We found your test in the garbage, I mean, if you’re not pregnant than-“

You looked up and stared at Emily with desperate eyes, hoping she would understand what you were trying to tell her. Her mouth flew open for only a split second as she caught on, “It’s because I am.”

JJ and Will looked at each other in shock as the cameraman continued to snap pictures of the conversation beforehand. You wanted to tell him to stop and that this was something you never wanted to remember.

Before the two could even get a word out, Penelope shrieked, “What are you talking about?!”

“I-It’s true. Um, I am with child. I just didn’t want to say anything because it’s your day!” Emily explained and you prayed they were buying it. “I didn’t wanna steal your thunder!”

JJ’s hand flew to her forehead as she tried to comprehend this. “Wait a minute, so you thought telling people I was pregnant was a better idea?”

“Emily, who’s the father?” Will asked.

“I-I can’t say.”

While JJ and Will were having their first dance, Emily found it as the perfect opportunity to interrogate you.

“Y/N, what the hell!?” she scream whispered, taking the seat next to yours.

“Thank you for doing that, Em. I just can’t deal with the stress right now of telling everyone,” you sighed, grabbing her hand and giving her a soft smile.

Emily’s harsh expression fell and she squeezed your hand back. “God, Y/N/N, why didn’t you just tell me? You didn’t have to pretend JJ was the pregnant one!”

“I mean technically you said she was, I just didn’t disagree with you!”

“Sneaky!” she gasped.

“Listen, I wanna talk about it… but I’m just not ready yet,” you sighed, hoping she would understand.

“Yeah, yeah! Of course…”

There was a pause.

“Are you ready to talk about it now?”

“Em, no.”

She nodded and there was another pause.

“Now?”

“No!”

“Okay, fine! We’ll talk about something else!” she said defensively throwing her hands in the air. You nodded, silently thanking her for her long awaited cooperation.

“So, who’s the father?”

You rolled your eyes, flicking her in the head which earned you an ‘Ow!’.

“Look, I haven’t told him yet so until I do, I don’t think I should tell anybody else,” you whispered.

“No, yeah. That’s fair, I understand… Is it Hotch?”

Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head as you scolded her, “Emily, no!”

“Fine, I’ll stop!” She apologized. “It’s Reid, isn’t it?”

You groaned, putting your face in your hands.

She gasped before whispering, “Oh God, don’t tell me it’s Derek’s!”

She continued to guess as you ignored her and drowned her out, your eyes focusing on him just across the room. He was laughing at something Rossi had said and you couldn’t help the guilt you felt flooding through your chest, knowing you were holding in information that would soon flip his entire world upside down.

The guests broke out into cheers and applause as JJ and Will concluded they’re dance, sharing a kiss before they parted. You kicked Emily in the shin as you noticed JJ walking towards your table, begging her to stop listening off names of men that could possibly be your baby daddy.

“Hello, my beautiful best friends and bridesmaids!” She gushed hugging you both from the back.

You smiled back up at her as she took a seat next to you and noticed Derek and Garcia making their way to your table next.

Grinning, Derek held out his hand to Emily and said, “Come on, Prentiss, I know you’re dying to move that thing out on the dance floor!”

She laughed grabbing his hand and letting him lead her to the crowd of dancing friends and family while Penelope took her seat.

“She better be having all the fun she can right now, pretty soon she’s gonna be all miserable and in pain with a baby inside of her, making life hell.” Penelope laughed, watching her two best friends make a fool of themselves dancing provocatively.

You nervously laughed, breaking off a piece of bread from the bowl infront of you.

JJ shook her head, “I can’t believe it, you guys! I mean, how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?”

You snapped your head up at the bride, “Hey, you know, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear what they’re supposed to wear and one of those little guys just gets through!”

JJ met your eyes and furrowed her brows at your defensive tone. Before she could respond, Garcia asked, “How?”

“Ugh, I don’t know! Maybe they have tools!” You sighed, defeated.

“Listen, I talked to her, and she said she’s having this baby. She said she’s gonna raise it all on her own…” JJ shrugged, smoothing down her dress.

“Well… maybe that’s really brave of her…” you started to say, a wave of nausea hitting you for the third time that day.

“I just hope she realizes how hard it’s gonna be. How is she gonna handle this financially? How is she gonna juggle work? I mean, does she realize she’s not gonna have a date again for the next 18 years?” Penelope sighed, putting her chin in her hand, watching her poor knocked up friend on the dance floor.

At Penelope’s words, suddenly tears were threatening to spill and you felt JJ’s eyes on you. You knew it wouldn’t be easy of course, but the girls were making some valid points that had never even crossed your mind. Your thoughts were interrupted by the waiter behind you, “Champagne?”

“Oh yes, please!” Penelope cheered taking two and passing one to you. JJ had taken one and politely thanked the waiter as he left.

You let out a sigh of relief, desperately needing something to take the edge off as you brought the lovely beige liquid up to your lips and took a sip. You had then realized what you were doing and stopped in your tracks, eyes wide. Looking down slowly, you spit the contents back into your glass, hoping the girls didn’t notice.

“Oh, th-that’s actually how the French drink it…” you stammered as you looked up at the girls who’s eyes were about to pop out of their heads.

JJ raised her finger and pointed at you as Penelope draped her hand over her mouth.

“O-Oh my-“

Before she could get out the words, Emily waltzed back over to the table, “Well I sure hope this baby gets my dancing genes because let me tell you, this ass doesn’t quit!” She took a seat next to Penelope, completely oblivious to what was just realized.

JJ rolled her eyes before saying, “Oh, give it up! Y/N’s really the one who’s pregnant?!”

“What?!” Emily shouted, pretending to be in shock.

She was met with eyes of unamusement.

“Oh, why bother?” She sighed, giving up the act.

“Y/N/N, how do you feel?” Penelope asked, concern washing over her face.

“I don’t know… I don’t know how I feel. This is all happening so fast and I have to make all these decisions that I don’t want to make!” You whined, bringing the champagne to your lips again, quickly spitting it out as you remembered you were with child. “Oh, someone just take this away from me!”

JJ grabbed it from your hands and set it down as Emily came to a realization, “You know, maybe you’re not even pregnant! Theres false positives all the time!”

Penelope nodded in agreement, “Yeah! Are you sure you peed on the stick right?”

“How many ways are there to do that?”

“Just relax, okay? Don’t freak out until you’re 100% sure.” Penelope said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah… you’re right. I’ll take another one when I get home.”

“What? Come on! You gotta take it now! It could be your wedding present to me!” JJ begged.

You nodded, agreeing that you would do it.

Penelope cheered, “Ooh! Yay, I’ll run out and go get you one!”

“Wait-“ JJ gasped, stopping Penelope in her tracks. “Who’s the father?!”

Emily rolled her eyes, “Oh, please. I’ve been trying all day. She won’t say.”

“It’s my wedding! Come on, you gotta tell me! That could be my present!”

“Hey, I just gave you peeing on a stick as your present!”

“How much longer?” You asked, pacing the bathroom floor.

“Thirty seconds.” Penelope replied, holding the little stick in her hands.

JJ barged through the door, “Did I miss it?”

Emily shook her head, as she tried to calm you down, rubbing small circles on your back. You were so scared, as if the responsibility of being a mother wasn’t enough, you still had to tell the father too.

JJ walked over to you, grabbing your hands. “Y/N/N, I want you to know that if it’s positive… we’re- we’re gonna-“ She couldn’t even finish her sentence, but she didn’t need to.

“I know…” You smiled, tears threatening to spill. You knew that no matter what the results were, you had your girls.

“It’s time.”

You dropped JJ’s hands and walked over to Garcia, who was handing you the test.

You held it in your hands as Garcia put a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I-I can’t look at it. Someone else look at it for me, please?”

Emily nodded understanding your apprehension and took it gently from you, also picking up the little instruction book to decipher what the lines meant. JJ and Garcia both waited in anticipation.

There was a pause.

“It’s negative.”

You turned, meeting her eyes. “What?”

“It’s negative.” She repeated.

“Oh…” You frowned, tears back at the surface. “Would you look at that?” You forced out a laugh. “That is, that’s great. That is really great, great news.” You stammered.

“You know cause the whole… not being ready and the financial aspects.” You continued. “Wow, this is just so the way this is supposed to be.” While your words may have sounded convincing, the look on your face gave it all away. You sighed as JJ walked over to you, “Well then, thats great…” she whispered, trying to read your emotions.

Tears had started to fall and Garcia went and grabbed tissues handing them to you at an alarmingly fast rate. “This is so stupid!” You choked out, dabbing at your eyes. “How could I be upset over something I never had?” As the words left your mouth, JJ wrapped you in a hug, Garcia quick to follow.

As you clung to them, you looked up once more and looked up at Emily who was still standing in the same spot. “God, it’s really negative?”

“No, it’s positive.” She smiled.

JJ and Penelope turned around and looked at her, their jaws dropped. You let out a gasp, your hand covering your mouth. “What?!”

“I-I lied… It’s positive.”

JJ turned to you in shock, wiping at the tears that had formed around her own eyes.

“Oh my God…” Garcia cried as Emily passed you the test to look for yourself.

“Now you know how you really feel about it!” Emily smiled.

“Oh, thats a risky little game!”

JJ’s smile was radiant as she stood beside you to also get a look at the little stick in your hand. “Are you really gonna do this?”

“Yeah…” You muttered, eyes still leaking with tears. “I’m gonna have a baby…”

“I’m gonna have a baby!” You cheered as you were met with three pairs of open arms. You all wept in happiness together before Garcia pulled back and asked, “With who?”

“It’s still not the time!”

The wedding had finally ended and the following day, you, Emily and Penelope were all sitting around in JJ and Will’s apartment, like usual.

As the conversation about the previous day had died down, you had decided to finally speak up.

“Guy’s, today I’m gonna tell the father of the baby.”

The girls cheered in excitement, not being able to wait any longer for the big reveal.

“It is so weird! I mean, you’re gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea what’s gonna happen!” JJ pointed out, taking a sip from the coffee mug in her hands.

“Yeah, you’re just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever!” Emily added.

“Yeah… I guess it is pretty big news…” you sighed, taking a seat next to JJ on the couch.

“Pretty big? It’s huge! God this guy doesn’t have a clue. He’s just walking down the street thinking, ‘I had sex with Y/N Y/L/N! I rock!’ Then bam!” Penelope clapped her hands. “Now he’s a father, everything’s different.

“Well it’s only gonna be different if he wants it to be. I mean, I’m not gonna ask him for anything…” You defended, anxiously running your hands through your hair.

“Well, he still has this huge decision to make. Now he’s walking around thinking, ‘Do I want to be a dad?’ and then, bam!” Penelope exclaimed clapping her hands again, never finishing her sentence.

“What was that bam?” JJ asked.

“I don’t know. H-he’s hit by a bus or something.”

Before you had time to process Penelope’s words, Morgan walked through the door, immediately sauntering over to the fridge.

“Hey, Derek, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you she was pregnant?” You asked, craving a guy’s perspective.

Slamming the fridge door he looked up at you wide eyed. “Who called here?!”

The girls rolled their eyes as his panicked expression only continued. “Did she sound blonde? Did she have an accent?! I gotta make a call-“ He began to run towards the door.

“Derek! Derek, it’s not you! You didn’t get anybody pregnant!” You called out to him, making him stop in his tracks.

He let out a sigh of relief, clutching his chest. “Why would you scare me like that?! What the hell’s going on?”

There was a long silence as Derek made his way over to the living room, raising a finger. “Is somebody pregnant?”

You scoffed, trying to play off your nervousness, before you turned to Emily, giving her those same desperate eyes from the night before.

“Oh, yeah! That’s me!” Emily laughed awkwardly.

“Oh my God! Em! You’re gonna have a baby?” He gasped, walking towards her.

“Yes, yes I am.” She said smiling as he walked up and pulled her into a hug.

Derek was so excited for her he almost forgot to ask the most important question. “Wait- who’s the father?”

“You don’t know him. It’s not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby.”

Derek’s jaw was on the floor. “Who is this guy?! Huh? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!”

Emily was at a loss for words as Penelope spoke up, “I know she doesn’t want to say it… but his name is Kevin Lynch!”

That was all Derek had to hear as he angrily turned away and stormed out of the apartment, muttering the name ‘Kevin Lynch’ under his breath.

As the door slammed shut, all three of you turned your heads to Garcia.

“Pen, who’s Kevin Lynch?”

“Oh, some guy from work. He’s a little annoying.” She shrugged.

A couple of hours later, you found yourself sitting alone in O’Keefes, nursing a cup of tea with a racing mind. You had played the conversation from earlier in your head a million times, you were so scared to drop this bomb on him. You didn’t want to make him feel obligated to care for you and the baby.

While you freaked out, Emily, and Penelope stayed in the apartment trying to stop JJ from opening up all the wedding presents without Will.

Derek had quickly barged through the door. “Um, Emily…”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Alright, sit down. I have something I wanna say!” Emily obliged and took the seat, not without clutching her stomach and giving her non existent baby a small pat. “It’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mother.”

JJ and Penelope listened intently, having no idea where this was going. “Now, I’ve always felt you and me have had this special connection, a special bond…” He had crouched down, getting on one knee, pulling a box from his back pocket. The girls gasped.

“Emily Prentiss… will you marry me?”

Emily was in awe looking between Derek and the ring.

“Oh my God!” JJ exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

“Derek, what about me? I thought we promised that if we both weren’t married within the next ten years, we were each others backup plan!” Garcia croaked.

“Derek-” JJ started walking towards the two but was cut off by Emily excitedly putting the ring on her finger. “Hell yeah I’ll marry you!”

“Em, you can’t marry him-“

“Hey, lady, your day’s over. It’s my turn!” She retorted, grinning down at the hand.

“Hey! Why can’t she marry me?”

Penelope stood up this time. “Because she’s not pregnant! It’s Y/N! Y/N’s pregnant!”

“Hey!” Emily whined.

“I think he would notice when you didn’t have a baby in nine months!”

“Oh please, it’s Derek!” Emily complained. There was really no arguing with that.

“Wait so if Y/N’s pregnant, who’s the father?” Derek asked in shock.

“That’s the thing, we don’t know.”

There was a silence before Derek was struck with realization. “You know… about a month ago, this guy spent the night with Y/N… now I didn’t see who it was, but…” and just like that he walked out.

“Was that story over?” Garcia asked as the trio followed him out to his apartment across the hall.

Derek emerged from his room holding a bright red sweater. The girl’s gasped as Penelope took it from Derek’s hands.

“Oh my God, I know who the father is!”

The next morning, you and Penelope began to walk to O’Keefes. Before you could open the door, she reached out to stop you.

“I have a surprise for you!”

“Pen… what is it?” You asked reluctantly.

“I called the father for you!” She said smiling.

“You what?! How did you even know-“ You stopped as she showed you the bright red sweater you had been pulling off just a month ago. You gasped.

“I believe this belongs to the father of your baby!” She gushed, holding it up.

“Oh, God… he’s in there right now?”

“Yep! You got this, Pretty Girl. Just go in there and rip the bandaid off!” And with that she pushed you inside and you were met with the eyes of your ex, Luke Alvez. Honestly you were surprised Penelope had even called him, she had genuinely never liked the guy.

“L-Luke?” You managed to choke out as you sat in the chair across from him.

Penelope followed you to the table, already rolling her eyes at the man in front of her. “Y/N has something to tell you.” She pulled the sweater from behind her back. “I believe this belongs to you.”

Luke gave a confused look as he began to pull down the zipper of his jacket. “Actually, no. This is my red sweater.”

You immediately put your head in your hands as Penelope’s jaw dropped.

“Oh no…” She stuttered. It was silent. “Can I get anyone a coffee… or a poison? No? Just for me? Oh, okay!” And with that she ran away, knowing she had messed up big time.

“So, what’s up, Y/N?” He asked, smiling at you.

“I’m sorry, Luke. But Pen made a mistake-“

“You know I’m actually glad she called. I’ve been meaning to reach out and see if maybe you’d be interested in getting drinks sometime soon. I really miss… us.” He confessed, grabbing your hand.

“This isn’t a great time…” you trailed off.

“Trust me, it is. I’m ready to be fully committed and mature this time around, Y/N.”

“Luke-“

“Come on, let’s give us another try.”

“Luke, I’m having a baby.” You gulped, him dropping your hand at the speed of light.

There was a long pause.

“You can go.” He didn’t even think twice before running out of O’Keefes at the speed of light.

You and Penelope walked back to JJ’s in silence. You weren’t mad at her, you knew she was only trying to help. You were more mad at yourself for not having the courage to just tell the actual father the truth.

You walked in the door, placing the red sweater and your bag on the kitchen table. Derek was the first person to speak up.

“How did Luke take it?”

“One, Luke isn’t the father!” You huffed. “And two, who told Derek?!”

You looked around at JJ and Emily’s guilty faces as Derek interjected. “Y/N… I am so happy for you.” He pulled you into a hug, being careful not to squeeze you too hard, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh, wow, you didn’t even try to unhook my bra this time!” You exclaimed as he pulled back. He laughed before he got down on one knee in front of you. You looked behind you at the girls in shock as they rolled their eyes.

He shook his head and grabbed your hand. “Listen, it’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. I’ve always thought that you and I have this special bond, you know? So, Y/N Y/L/N…” He smiled softly up at you. “Will you marry me?”

“What?” you sputtered along with JJ and Emily and Garcia who let out an, “Again?!”

“Emily! Give me the ring back!” He whispered, never breaking eye contact with you.

“No!”

“Oh, Derek! You’re so sweet! But I’m not looking for a husband.” You sighed, ushering him to stand up.

He frowned and nodded, “It’s fine… I understand.”

You smiled softly as you gathered your belongings. “Now, if you will, excuse me I’m gonna go and lie down.” You left the room with a wave to the rest of the girls, promising to see them later. There was a lot on your mind and you just needed a second to breathe.

As the door closed, Emily walked up to Derek, shaking her head. “I can’t say that didn’t hurt.” JJ pinched the bridge of her nose, not believing this was still going on. “But I’ll take you back Derek Morgan.”

“Um, Em… About that-“ Saved by the bell, Spencer and Hotch walked in the room, greeting everybody with a wave.

Morgan jumped up, trying to distract Emily from the previous conversation, “Look everybody! Spencer’s here!” He chuckled nervously. Hotch rolled his eyes and raised his hands up, clearly offended by being ignored.

Spencer looked around confused before just deciding to ignore Morgan’s strange behavior that he was so used to.

“Anyway, you guys ready to go to that movie-“ He began to feel around his pockets, groaning as he realized he had forgotten something. “Hold that thought, I forgot my wallet.” He began to walk out but was immediately stopped short as he noticed something on the table.

“Hey! My sweater-“ He spoke, walking over to where it was laying, picking it up and examining it.

“I’ve been looking for this, for like, a month!” He laughed, before walking out.

JJ, Emily and Penelope all looked around, mouths dangling open.

“Oh my God!”

“No way!”

“It’s Reid!”

Morgan looked at the girls with a puzzled expression. They just started back at him waiting for the realization to come, which hit five seconds later.

“Oh my God!” He yelled, pointing to where Spencer had just left.

Hotch looked around confused.

“Did I miss something?”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds friends au #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds au #mgg #mgg x reader

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #480

“the doomsday clock was made by mankind”

Do you support PETA? No, because they are WAY too extreme. Have you ever lied about your gender? No. Have you ever had escargot? NOOOOOOOO. You couldn't pay me to try that shit. Have you played Breath of the Wild? No; Zelda games aren't my thing. I've watched Game Grumps play it, though. At what venue was the last concert you attended? Idr, somewhere in Raleigh. Who was playing at the last concert you attended? Alice Cooper. Maybe one day I'll have a new answer, lol. Do you have any anniversaries coming up? No. Would you try grapes on a pizza? Holy fuck, ew. Have you ever tried an oyster? How would you describe the experience? Oysters look fucking disgusting. Never. Has anyone ever specifically painted you a painting? Not a painting, no, but I've had drawings made for me. Would you ever want to try pole dancing? Nah. Have you ever had any sort of paranormal experience? Yes. Have you ever gotten something stuck in your skin? (ie: glass shard, gravel) Yeah, like splinters. And graphite. Do any of your grandparents live a nursing home? They're all deceased, but none did. Do you have a USB drive that is shaped like anything unique? No; mine is just a solid hot pink. What country would you like to visit most? South Africa. Whose birthday is closest to today’s date? (someone you know) Girt's birthday is the 10th! Do you know anyone in another country? I have Australian and European friends, yes. Have you ever wanted to be on a game show? Not seriously. Do you believe taking a picture of someone is taking a piece of their soul? Ha, this question makes me think of the quote from SOMA. Anyway, no. Do you have any friends with the same first name as you? No. How many states have you lived in? One. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles, so I can spread peanut butter on them. :') What is the saddest book you’ve ever read? Johnny Got His Gun. ZERO competition. What political cause are you most passionate about? Probably LGBTQ+ rights. Really just equality in general. Have you ever considered having children? The only time I've ever in my life thought I wanted kids was when I was with Jason. Hell, I wanted two or three. Now I'm just like... nah man no thank you. Have you ever considered acting? No. Who was the last person you slept next to? Sara. Do you think you can be in love and still cheat on your S.O.? Ha, no. What is the most embarrassing thing anyone has on video of you? I dunno. Did you ever get lost as a child? Once at the grocery store. A sweet old lady helped me find Mom. Do you know how to play any card games? The very basic ones, and Magic: The Gathering. What are you currently most looking forward to? Mom to feel better so Girt can come over. What is the best television show you’ve ever watched? Hm... Fullmetal Alchemist has a pretty bangin' story. What color are your parents’ eyes? Brown. Are you more dependent or independent? I've very dependent, honestly. Are there any stuffed animals in the room you’re in? Yeah, loads. I have a shelf full of my meerkat collection. Do you love animals? I adore them. I quite frankly don't like anyone who doesn't, because... how. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two? Who made you mad last? My mom. She said something that just really hurt my feelings. How long was your last shower? It was longer than usual because standing, taking steps to turn, propping my legs up, etc. was fucking excruciating because my feet, ankles, and calves were so swollen. It's so fucking infuriating; in a previous survey I mentioned "oh it's because my body isn't used to getting up and down so much! it's improvement! :D", but no. The swelling was from sitting too long at the desk. My legs are so used to being propped up from being in bed that it caused edema when I was finally sitting. I went back to my fucking bed now because Mom mentioned that it could get extremely dangerous if the fluid buildup got too severe. And of course now that I'm back in bed, the swelling is receding. I can't fucking win. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, I think the haircut I had before this current one was pretty bad, but at least it showed me I'd like short hair on myself. What’s your favorite DIY crafts YouTube channel? I don't watch DIY. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? At this moment, just give me the magic answer to losing all this fucking weight and getting in shape and being happy. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I forgive too much. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English and most science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Was your first car used or new? I haven't had my own car yet. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a fan in your room? I have two. Have you ever hatched an egg? In elementary school, as a class. It was a chick. :') I think it was in kindergarten? Would you like to go to a fortune teller? No, because I wouldn't support them spouting bullshit and lying to people. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No. I've actually been craving gum for a long time now... For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: My feelings towards them? Jason: Remorseful. Tyler: Eye roll. Sara: thankful. Girt: love. Do you have “friends” that you actually hate? That's some juvenile shit. No. Would you rather get [another] tattoo or piercing? Gimme both, but if I had to pick, a tattoo. If you’re dating someone, how long has it been? It's been just shy of a month Feels a lot longer. If you’re a girl, have you ever had the urge shave your hair? Not shave my entire head, no. Do you live by a forest? Not anymore. :/ Do your parents drink? My dad is a recovered alcoholic, so he doesn't touch it anymore. Mom only drinks lightly for special occasions. Does downloading music without paying make you feel guilty? Yes, and yet I do it anyway. :x Does your house have air conditioning? Yes. What do you believe in more: Ghosts or demons? Ghosts. I don't believe in demons. Do you think they’re making too big of a deal over Michael Jackson’s death? Old survey is old, but no, not really. He was an absolute pop icon that was deeply loved by millions and millions and inspired the genre deeply. I wasn't even a big fan and yet I felt for those who were. French fries or onion rings? The former. I don't like onion rings. Favorite healthy snack? Um. I suppose apple slices w/ peanut butter, especially lately. Or strawberries. ]If you see a bee in your house... are you going to kill it? Bees honestly scare me, so I'm not touching it. Mom will have to get it, and I know she would kill it. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? Done it before, and it didn't feel weird. If your best friend grabs your hand, what do you automatically do? I'd look at her and ask what's wrong. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. Do you tend to flirt a lot, even when the person isn’t single? No, especially if the person is taken. Can grills be sexy on a guy? Grills are unattractive on everyone. Have you ever flown first class? Ha, yeah right. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick around for years upon years. Some I think I'll never forget.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''countdown's begun'' by ozzy osbourne

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m1lfs-r-us-stuff · 3 years

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Flutter (3/?)

A/N: wow this took me forever to write lol.

warnings: angst, more bad writing lol, that should be it I think

ao3 chapter 1, 2

Emily is 27, and still hasn’t found anyone who makes her feel the same way JJ did. Maybe a few here and there, but none of those relationships actually stuck. She tells everyone it's because she’s too preoccupied with work to get serious, but she knows the real reason.

Emily quickly climbs the ranks of the FBI, which certainly makes the ambassador happy. She’s always been on Emily's case about being the perfect child. Being the epitome of what a diplomat’s daughter should be. The ambassador’s approval almost distracts Emily from the constant, longing ache in her chest. Almost.

She’s 29 when she accepts a job with the CIA. They send her undercover. It’s not a very hard task; she’s been putting on different masks her whole life. Pretending to be someone she’s not in hopes of pleasing others.

When the case is over, she finds herself longing for that little bit of stability Lauren Reynolds had with Ian Doyle. Emily thinks about her future for the first time since high school. She thinks about the home she wants for her children. She thinks about the love she wants to give to someone else. And it pains her to think about how she may never get that.

She’s 33 when she earns a spot in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. A unit that some people work their entire careers for. She’s happy to be back with the FBI. Happy to be working on new cases. Happy to put her profiling skills to use again.

She’s 33 when she feels the flutter again. The real flutter this time. When she steps into the bullpen and spots those blue eyes from all those years ago. She has to do a double-take because there’s no way that’s possible. There’s no way that she’s staring directly at the girl who stole her heart in first grade and has had it ever since. But she is. Jennifer Jareau is standing 20 feet away from her.

Emily feels like a little girl all over again. She’s taken back to her first day of school when the pretty girl asked to borrow her colored pencils. She finds herself stumbling over her words all the same, and blushing like crazy. She knows adults shouldn’t be acting like this, but she can’t help it.

They somehow fall into an easy rhythm again, even though they haven’t seen each other in forever. It’s like they never even stopped talking. It’s like their time together was paused, and was finally being played again.

Their hands still fit together like puzzle pieces. JJ’s nose still scrunches up when she tries to speak French. They sit together on the jet and talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Emily is finally at peace.

She gets that flutter in her belly and warmth in her chest every day now, and she’s not going to let it go this time. She’s not going to allow it to get ripped out from under her again. Emily finally has JJ, and she’s not going to let her go.

#emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily #jemily angst #criminal minds #criminal minds angst #fanfiction

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ofmythsandfables-a · 3 years

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Jamie

GENERAL INFO

FULL NAME: James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser

SPECIES: Human

AGE: Verse Dependent

PLACE OF BIRTH: Scotland

GENDER AND ORIENTATION: Male / Straight (discuss this with me first in case you have a male you wish to ship with Jamie, muns)

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

HEIGHT: 6′4

HAIR COLOUR: Red-Orange

EYE COLOUR: Blue

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Whipping scars that cover the entirety of his back

BACKGROUND INFO

LANGUAGES: English, Scottish Gaelic, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Latin, Greek, Hebrew, Tuscaroran, and some Chinese.

OCCUPATION: Verse Dependent

VERSES

SYNOPSIS

Jamie Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser is a character based from the Outlander series written by Diana Gabaldon. My Jamie is mainly based on the Starz tv series, since I haven't read all the books and don't have enough tidbits to really base my version of him on them.

The man is as stubborn as a mule. He's got a lot of pride in himself and his clan, and they along with his family are his whole world. He is as charming as they come and a complete softy, regardless of being a total brute on the battlefield.

As skeptical as he can be of people and their intentions, he isn't closed off to trusting a person (unless you're British, which then you'll really have to work at his trust - this tidbit isn't really a thing in his modern verse, but the others, yes). Because of his abuse by Jack Randall, Jamie has major PTSD from the abuse. Sometimes even being alone with a man he isn't already comfortable with makes him uneasy and very on-edge, and forget it if they try to make a move on him.

(if you portray a male character and wish to ship with Jamie, please discuss this with me first without assuming it will be greenlit immediately. And even if I agree to it, Jamie still needs to build up trust with said male because of his past trauma. The ship will not sail automatically.)

On The Run (1743 ; Aged 23)

Jamie is in hiding from the British going by Jamie MacTavish, having a price over his head for a crime he didn’t commit. He lives with his uncle who is Laird of Leoch, and is sheltering Jamie from being found.

Laird of Broch Tuarach

Jamie finally returns home to become Laird at Lallybroch. He lives with his sister Jenny, brother-in-law, and nephew. Though, Jamie never lets his guard down, knowing danger is always around the corner and is worried he’s putting his family in jeopardy.

Est-ce que tu parles français? - 1745 (aged 25)

After a close call with the British, Jamie flees to France to live with his cousin. There, he runs a home as well as his cousin’s wine business while he travels for some time. Not entirely realizing it, he begins to enjoy the finer side of living and falls into step with it well. Here, Jamie is furthering the cause of the Jacobite rising.

Battle of Culloden - Could take place weeks before the battle or after.

Jamie returns to Scotland to fight against the British. Though the Scots lose the battle, Jamie gains revenge on Jack Randall even though he is taken to a jail, far from home, for being a Jacobite.

Home Again - 1765 (aged 45)

Yes, twenty years have passed. Jamie is back in Scotland and under a different name, Alexander Malcolm. Working as a printer and owning his own business in the town of Edinburgh, he lives a quiet, low life. Or at least, he tries to.

America, The Colonies - 1765

After a harrowing journey across the seas, Jamie ends up in America. North Carolina, to be precise, and settles down as best he can with his own land called Fraser’s Ridge.

(This verse will include the current season, 5.)

Through the Stones (Modern day ; Aged 25-35, depending)

Just a week before the Battle of Culloden, Jamie has accidentally gone through the stones at Craigh na Dun and wound up in the 21st century. He’s been living in Edinburgh for ten years, and though it hasn’t been easy to adjust, Jamie’s been doing his best and working as a bartender in a local pub.

(If one would rather a younger modern Jamie not too long after falling through the stones, discuss with me first)

IMPORTANT

Depending on the verses, there’s much more detail in each of their stories. As for one detail, being captured and raped by Captain Jack Randall, which happens at the end of Season 1 (this is during his time at Leoch, though transitioning into becoming Laird of Broch Tuarach),

I will not write those scenes out.

It was traumatizing to watch, and I could never write that horrific scene. BUT, I can and will write about his PTSD with that certain event, because I think part of that makes up the Jamie we all know and love. As far as any other details goes, depending on the verse, I will be more than happy to explain to any of those who are not an Outlander fan or just haven’t a clue what it’s about in full depth if you would like to know what Jamie is internally going through. The poor man goes through A LOT in each season, so to list it all here in each verse would be too much to read lol so if you’re curious, let me know and I’d be happy to oblige!

#::muse ; jamie::

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daily-dose-of-imagines · 4 years

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(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

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Hi!~ you can just call me Alex, please!~ I would like to be anon if that is ok lol the fandoms I want are A3!, Haikyuu!!, and Naruto! 🥰 SFW and NSFW is alright with me! 😉 whatever is comfortable lol

Alright so, intro info! I’m a Capricorn sun, Sagittarius moon and Virgo Ascendant. My modality is Cardinal 53%, Fixed 37%, Mutable 11%. My elements are Earth 51%, Water 36%, Fire 10% and Air 3%. My MBTI is INFJ. I’m also a HuffleClaw with a bit of Slytherin. I have was born with Turner Syndrome. I have ADHD, Autism, Anxiety and Depression. I am agender and I use they/them pronouns though she/her are alright since I’m used to those pronouns lol I am still exploring my sexuality, I am very open dating anyone of any gender so I would say I’m bi/panromantic, however I do strongly connect with the asexual spectrum since trust is a big deal for me lol

I had a coarctation or narrowing of the arota at 6 days old and was pronounced dead on the way to Children’s Hospital. I had open heart surgery soon afterwards. My grandmother was told that with all the mental health issues I could have due to TS, I could be super smart or I wouldn’t even be able to remember my own name. The doctor’s said I would be bad at math. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my little brother was 6. Both of them remarried, my dad once and our mol several times. Though, I won’t go more into that lol just to save you the details, our grandparents raised us and life was -is- really messy ahah

I’m currently going to college. I was supposed to graduate last semester, but I changed my major several times in the last 2 years lol 😂😂 I was a biology major and wanted to work in marine bio/ wildlife conservation and start my own rehab places for marine/terrestrial mammals. I am now a Middle School Education major with areas of concentration in science and language arts with a minor in TESL ( Teaching English as a Second Language). I want to teach English in Japan! 😊 As far as grade school, I always made As/Bs witout even trying and I loved to read, so much so that I got an award for it in 5th grade! I was quiet yet loud and super awkward as a kid 🤣🤣 I actually loved science a lot and even took AP courses until highschool because the teacher I would have taken in highschool was a really bad teacher who if he had family members and didn’t like them, he wouldn’t like you. He taught my father and his sister and didn’t like them, so least to say young and impressionable me noped out of that fast 😂😂

For a while, I wanted to be a Forensic Antropologist like Temeperance from Bones! 😊 however, we didn’t have a anthro major at my college, only chem lol so, when I started taking upper level courses, I quickly found I much prefer bio to chem 🤣🤣 I still dislike math as I have my whole life, but since I got to college, I’ve only made below a B in one math related course! 🥰

Ok sorry for a lot of random info 🤣🤣 onto other things! So, I’m very shy and quiet at first, but when I get comfortable around someone, that’s when the wierd comes out 🤣 I’m very passionate about education and science! I am a Christian and am very passionate about equality. I also firmly believe in redistributing millionare/billionares’ wealth.

I grew up watching anime and still love it to this day. I have strong connection with Japanese culture because anime was the gateway into learning about it and anime will always have a special place in my heart because of it! Japanese culture and really most if not all Asian cultures resonate with me because of the morals anime had taught me. I firmly believe in balance and hamrony with nature! I was introduced to kpop in middle school and have been a fan ever since lol 🤣 I also like pop/alternative music lol I like P!NK, Linkin Park, Adele and a few others lol

As I mention with wanting to be a marine biologist, I really love animals!~ 💕💜 my favs are otters, foxes, cats of all kinds, dogs, wolves, dolphins, and honey badgers! I currently have a Korat named Lila (li-lah like lilac) she is a very unique cat 🤣 she’s super curious and sorta a crackhead lol I did have a yorkie terrier named Sarah and a miniature schnauzer named Star, but since last June, we had to put both of them down 🥺 Sarah got cancer suddenly late last year and a few months ago Star had congestive heart failure. They were 13 and 14 respectively. They were amazing dogs! Sarah loved to swim and hunt little creatures and was the energetic one while Star was the grouchy old lady 🤣🤣

I also love anything fantasy/superhero! I love HP, LOTR, and Marvel! My fav genre of anime is shounen obvi lol 🤣Lol I also love learning other languages! I took French in highschool and two semester of Mandarin in college lol ( I need to brush up on both 🤣🤣) I am currently trying to learn Japanese! I wanna also learn Korean, Welsh, and Irish! I hope to go teach English in Japan via the JET program at my college! 🥰 I will more than likely stay in Japan after I stay the 5 max years through the JET program!

I also really love video games! I wanna play Persona 5 soo bad 🤣🤣 Horzon: Zero Dawn, the Legend of Zelda series, the Pokemon series and Animal Crossing: New Horizons are some of my favorites lol

Hmmm… what else to say? 🤣 I am typically the mom friend of the group ahaha oh! I am 4’9” and weigh 140 so I’m kinda chubby 😅 I am very self concious about my body. I have green eyes and I wear small, black rectangular glasses. I have moles and freckles all over my body. I have a dyed blonde bob with a brunnette undercut. I don’t have any piercings yet but I do have one tattoo on my inner left ankle!

I am stubborn, passionate, caring, empathetic, understanding, loving, loud, quiet, awkward, hyper, enthusiastic, curious, and I can procrastinate at times due to my ADHD lol I also love to have plans lol I like things to be organized and clean, but I don’t mind ‘organized chaos’ sometimes lol I am also very loyal to my friends. I prefer having a few super close friends than having tons of aquaintances.

Ok so dating lol um I’ve never actually dates anyone before 🙈 I’m also a virgin lol trust is a big issue for me, like aforementioned my parents divorce affected me a lot and I have a strained relationship with each of them due to the divorce and the events over the years afterwards. Plus, as a Capricorn, school/career is my main focus. I’m so busy with college and trying to figure myself out, I haven’t got time for dating ahaha so my irl soulmate will need to be a hell of a person and have the patience of a saint to deal with me 🤣

Even though I have never been in a relationship, out of curiousity and wanting to be knowledgeable, I have researched BDSM lol 😂 I am definitely not into slave/master, whipping, or anything super hardcore at all lol though, mild stuff like toys, handcuffs, spanking, biting, dirty talk, brat/tamer or daddy (mommy)/ little girl and blindfolds would be stuff I’m willing to try out lol basically, some light pain, toys and anything where I can be submissive and cast my cares away while still being able to be sassy/defiant suits me 🤣

Oh! For the purposes of this matchup, just male characters is fine lol like I said, I’m still trying to figure myself out so, for simplicities sake, assuming heteronorms is alright lol

Hmm as far as a type of guy I like, I can give you some anime examples 😂 Portgas D. Ace from One Piece, Itachi/Kakashi/Shikamaru from Naruto, Roy Mustang (also shoutout to Solf J. Kimblee as a guilty mention 🤣) from FMA!B, Kisuke Urahara from Bleach, Zuko/Sokka fron ATLA, Gintoki/Kamui/Takasugi/Shinpachi/Hijikata/Katsura from Gintama, Daisuke Kanbe from The Millionare Detective- Balance:Unlimited, Shinso Hitoshi/Shindo Yo from BNHA/MHA, Levi/Beel from Obey Me!, Itaru/Omi/Sakyo/Misuki/Tsuzuru/Kazunari/Banri from A3! And many more 🤣🤣 sorry for the long list lol basically to sum it up my type is kinda laid back, a lil perverted, confident, dominant, funny, teasing/flirty, caring, intellgent, mysterious, passionate and stubborn lol

Well, I hope that was enough info to get a good in depth matchup 🤣🤣 I feel like I gave too much but I wanna try to make it as detailed for y’all as possible so you can have an easier time with the matchup ahah thanks a lot, I love your blog and keep doing the good work you are doing! 🥰❤️💜💕 be sure to take care of yourselves and I hope y’all have a great weekend!! 🥰

( I apologize for sending it a second time, but there was some stuff I wanted to add that I forgot to mention until I after I sent in the first one 😭 again, I sincerely apologize!)

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Hello Alex and thank you for submitting with us! And thank you for supporting us! I hope you enjoy the boys I paired you with!

>Admin 𝕋

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

I choose Kiba to be your Naruto boyfriend! when he first sees you, and how quiet and shy you are, Kiba will definitely want to bring your inner playfulness out! And when he sees that you do have some playfulness in you, he will see that you became comfortable enough around him that your inner weird came out! And that would really pull at Kiba’s heartstrings! Kiba will also find it fascinating that you like different types of culture, and how the world works via science and education! He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he will definitely appreciate how you think, since he wants harmony in the world too! He will love the fact that you love animals and he will love the fact that you want to be a marine biologist! Being an animal lover himself, he will marry you right on the spot, just for that!

Since you are the mom friend of the group, you can totally take care of Kiba! It might not be the best, but Kiba would really love and appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do stuff for him, even if he didn’t ask for it! He will love your buddy, it being curvy and easy to hold onto, if you know what I mean wink wink. He will find your little beauty marks to be charming and I see him poking your moles and freckles every so often when he is bored! And when you tell him that you want to get tattoos, hell yeah! He will want to be there for when you get your first one!

Kiba will love the fact that you are passionate about your studies, and you main focus is school and your career! He will love the fact that you are don’t want anyone to mess up your future, and where you want to go in life! He may be a bit on the impatient side, but when he is with you, he will understand the need for patience and why it is important! He will also love the fact that you are so loyal to your friends! He doesn’t want to date anybody who isn’t loyal or isn’t compassionate to the people around them, so that will definitely be a plus in your book!

For the spicy stuff, Kiba at first would not know what he is doing but once he figures it out, ho boy, you are in a for a treat! Biting, lots of biting, and him being just very dominant, wanting to please you and make you feel like you are on cloud nine! He will let you do what you want, if it means that you are going to like what you guys do in the bedroom! From the biting to the dirty talk, he is up for anything!

I choose Sakyo to be your A3! boyfriend! Sakyo will see your shy and quiet persona and think nothing much of it, but once you get comfortable around him, enough so that your inner weirdness comes out to play, he will be surprised that you were hiding such a fun and cheerful person away from him! He will also like the fact that you are passionate about science and education, since Sakyo himself is definitely one to go to science for something that can’t be explained, and he is one to like education too, since it gives you wisdom on subjects you didn’t know about before! He will love the fact that you love his culture so much, from the anime to the actual history of Japan. He will feel that you super educated on the subject, and will be appreciative of how much you love where he is from!

Sakyo will find it adorable that you love animals, and he find it admirable that you want to become a marine biologist! It is a hard job, learning about all kinds of animals, and then discovering new ones! Yeah he will find it very impressive! And if you were to ever tell him that you want a dog or some kind of really cute animal, he will never able to say no to you! So you should use that to your advantage! As for video games, he isn’t one for the, but if you ever try to get him to play with you, he will have a hard time saying no! It will frustrate him though, that you’d keep beating him at all of them!

As for appearances, I feel Sakyo wouldn’t care about what you like, it’’s all about what is on the inside, and when he sees that you are a passionate, loving, caring, a mother figure to your friends, loyal to them, and empathetic to the people around you, he will just know that you are the person for him! Seriously, yeah he might like your curvy body, but what will really give make him like you is the fact that you are just a really nice person for people to be around! He will definitely understand the sentiment of having just a few close friends, than having like twenty acquaintances.

Sakyo will love the fact that you’d rather focus on your studies than have a boyfriend that could distract you from your future career! He would be glad to wait for you to accept him, until you are stable in your career and would be able to start dating you like he wants! And for a little spicy time, he would be a dominant as all hell. Like he would be so into dirty talk and taking you to heaven with his mouth. You might tell him you want to some like spanking and biting, and he might be into the biting, but the spanking makes him feel a little weird, so he might do it as often. But! If you ask, him he will have no reason to say no! So you better have fun with him!

I choose Iwaizumi as your Haikyuu boyfriend! Much like Sakyo, Iwaizumi will see you shy and timid demeanor and think nothing of it, and if anything, he will think it is kind of cute, but would have an inkling that you are more than you put out. And once Iwaizumi sees that, yes, you are more than shy, that you have your weird quirks and can be quite loud, he will find you even more cute, what with the way you act around him and not the others! He will find it so cute that you only act like that with him and nobody else! And much like Sakyo, he will find it awesome that you like his culture so much! From the anime to the language, and everything else! He would even offer to help you learn the language and such, to help you better understand his culture! Iwaizumi love the fact that you like superheroes and practically anything fantasy! I suspect that Iwaizumi also love Marvel and such! I also feel like Iwaizumi is extremely good at video games, so when he plays with you, make sure you try your best to win against him!

Iwaizumi will feel a bond with you being like the mom friend, since he has to constantly watch over Oikawa like he is his child! And for appearances, much like Kiba, I feel as though Iwaizumi will see your blemishes and your curvy body and think it is just uniquely you! Something that he associates with you alone! And the uniqueness will definitely get him to really like you! But I feel like he will really like girls in glasses so that is a definite plus for you!

Iwaizumi will love the fact, like the others, that you are a loving and caring person. Someone that is passionate and driven! And the fact that you have all your plans thought out and organized in your own way? Oh yeah, he would definitely like that! And the fact that you are so passionate about your future that you’d much rather focus on that instead of being in a relationship! He’d understand, would he hate that fact that he has to wait for you to be stable in your career? Yes, he wouldn’t like it one bit, but he wouldn’t leave you because of it! Will he wait for you? Most definitely!

For the spicy stuff, ahahahaha Iwaizumi. He is like. A dominant bottom, he’s okay with essentially whatever you want to do, as long you both are having a good time, and you guys are feeling good! As for the biting and the spanking and all the kinky things you want to try out, he’d be into it, he’d just wouldn’t know how to go about it, so it would be a learning experience for the both of you! In the end, Iwaizumi would be into a lot of things you guys tried! So beware what he has in store for you in the future!

#submission #submissions #matchup #anime matchups #haikyuu matchup #naruto matchup #A3! matchup #A3! x you #A3!#haikyuu!!#Haikyuu!! x you #naruto #naruto x you

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molsno · 3 years

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I’m skipping the middleman on that trans ask game and just answering all the questions myself <3

this is long so it’s under a read more

1. How did you choose your name?

in senior year of high school, while I was in french class, I was thinking about the word vivre, to live, and how it conjugated. I forget what tense it is, but one way of conjugating it is “nous vivions”, and it dawned on me that the name vivian is based on the word vivre (or its latin origin). of course, I already liked the name due to the character from paper mario ttyd, but knowing that it means life really spoke to me, as I think the ability to live is a precious thing that shouldn’t be wasted. I decided pretty much then and there that I would name my daughter vivian some day. well... then I got the chance to play a character in my friend’s danganronpa killing game, and I thought playing a girl would be interesting. granted, I also already knew I was an egg and saw this as an opportunity to try out my favorite name, so I created vivian tamochi. as you might have guessed, I loved being her so much that I made vivian my actual name

2. What gives you the most dysphoria?

um, hearing recordings of my own voice probably. I always think that I sound very feminine but then I hear a recording of myself and it sounds like a bad impression

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

more social I guess? actually yeah I think all of the dysphoria-induced breakdowns I’ve had have been because of social things

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

something that helps a lot is shaving, especially when it’s a fullbody shave

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

this is a bit embarrassing but it was honestly christmas eve 2018. I saw my little cousin (I think she was 8 at the time) wearing a pretty dress and I felt sort of jealous that I never got to do that when I was her age. I was so confused about this feeling that I told my trans friend kyra about it and after asking me to clarify what I meant she linked me to the egg_irl subreddit. that was the first time I seriously considered it

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

I told my friend amanda how I’d been confused about my gender and she offered to take me to goodwill to try on some clothes. I was extremely nervous about it while we were there and I really had to work up the courage to not only pick out some clothes to try, but also take them to the fitting room with me. but once I put on a skirt for the first time I stood there for like a solid 5 minutes just looking at myself in the mirror with the biggest happiest smile on my face. in that moment I finally understood what gender euphoria was. I couldn’t deny I was trans any longer, it was just a matter of working up the courage to tell people

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

um, probably that I feel like a person now. also the little things, like seeing my hips get bigger or looking at how long my hair has gotten. just little things to smile about!

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

um, I’m girl <3

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

I mean it depends on who, but I decided to do it on national coming out day 2019, in my discord server with friends. basically I commented on it being national coming out day and reposted my intro in the introductions channel with my new name and pronouns. everyone there sorta saw it coming I’m pretty sure

10. What have your experiences been with packing or tucking?

I’ve tucked a few times in public. it’s uncomfortable for sure, but not terrible once you get used to it. the idea of it made me squeamish at first, I’ll admit. but since I haven’t had much excuse to go out in girlmode the past year or so, I haven’t tucked much

11. What are your experiences with binding or wearing breast forms?

the closest I’ve ever gotten to wearing breast forms is wearing a bra every day for..... almost a year now? it doesn’t serve much purpose other than letting me feel something there, though that is changing since I’ve been on hrt for several months

12. Do you pass?

I mean... probably not? I feel like I’m very visibly trans. there have been like two times where I’ve been gendered correctly in public (one in girlmode, one not) but those are extremely rare

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

well I’ve been on hrt for 8 months now so that’s one thing. I want to get laser hair removal for my facial hair because that’s one of the biggest sources of dysphoria for me, but yknow. that’s expensive! according to my understanding my insurance supposedly should cover bottom surgery, but I’m honestly in no rush to get that. I don’t really have much bottom dysphoria, but it would be nice to get surgery some day

14. How long have you been out?

it’s been about a year and two months now...... time flies

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

up until I was like 17 I was incredibly insistent on being cis and straight despite very obvious (in retrospect) signs to the contrary. around 18 I was very confused why all my friends were lgbt in some form and also I kinda started realizing I don’t mind dick, and I thought it would all make sense if I was bi. I identified as cis and bi for like 4 years or so but the longer it went on the more wrong it felt considering I had never once during that time been attracted to a man

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?

surprisingly not really? the most transphobia I’ve experienced has been a result of automated processes like proctored testing or emails. of course, I’ve seen all the nasty shit that terfs say about people like me, but I’ve never been a victim of it directly

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

if there is a universal restroom that I can lock from inside then I use that. if not, I sigh dramatically and sadly use the men’s room

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

truthfully I don’t know. my mom seems accepting enough, but with the pandemic going on I haven’t talked to her much. I know my sister is aware, and shockingly she seems supportive too, but we haven’t talked about it in depth

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

if I could go stealth I would. I’m sorry but I don’t want to be visibly trans

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

the sooner you start transitioning the happier you’ll be. by denying this part of yourself you’re just making yourself miserable

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?

she/her makes me happiest. I’ve (against my will, mind you) used they/them and been called molsno in a group that I wasn’t out in, and..... it made me feel..... distant, I guess? it was better than he/him, but it felt much less personal

22. Do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

I mean...... yeah? as a trans lesbian it’s very easy for me to hate masculinity given how it’s instilled nothing but negative feelings in me literally my entire life, and being autistic makes it harder to understand how the things I say about gender negatively impact the people around me

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

the fear that I may never be able to believe I can be loved as a woman, probably

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

coming out nearly everywhere and getting on hrt!

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

I desperately wish cis people understood even the basics of trans issues. still to this day many cis people don’t even know the right terminology to use for trans people. they think “trans man” and “trans woman” mean the opposite of what they actually mean and that’s just so goddamn frustrating. many of them think transitioning is just bottom surgery and that’s it. like, they don’t know anything about hrt. cis people please educate yourselves on trans issues I’m begging you

26. What impact has being trans had on your life?

it’s affected many aspects of my life but I think the biggest one is that I feel like a person now. I always felt like a robot, or like someone putting on a performance before, but I feel like a human being now

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

ummm... not much really. I guess one thing that has helped is making my character astrid trans? because if I ever think something bad about myself I can stop myself and ask if I would think the same thing about her, and of course the answer is no.

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?

it’s bad. trans women very rarely get any positive representation. like the only transfem characters that come to mind that I think were handled well were lily hoshikawa from zombieland saga and vivian from paper mario (although even that’s debatable given the english censorship about her gender and the way beldam abuses her in japanese). meanwhile nonbinary representation consists almost exclusively of aliens, shapeshifters, robots, etc. and trans men get literally nothing. like. trans representation is just so abysmal it’s not even funny

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

umm....... I don’t really care about celebrities lol. if I were to answer this question it would be “oh yes I’ve heard of these people”

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

gosh, how could I ever decide? most of my friends are trans so it’s hard to say but if I had to answer.... my friends kyra and modeus were probably the most helpful when I was figuring myself out

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

mostly online

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

I’ll almost certainly still be a woman, and hopefully my transition will have gone well enough that I’ll be able to pass

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?

healthcare. the difficulty so many people face with getting access to trans healthcare is ridiculous and discriminatory. I’ve written essays for school about this topic and they were the easiest essays I’ve had to write because of how passionate I am about this

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

pick your head up queen/king/royal, your cat ears are falling down

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

well I’m white, able bodied, average weight, and I’m about to get a degree in computer science, so I have a lot of privilege that other trans people don’t have. I fully recognize that. it breaks my heart that so many less privileged trans people, particularly trans women of color, are murdered and never even get the justice they deserve. I wish there was more I could do to stop it, but privileged as I am, I’m only one person. I want everyone to be aware of who the major victims of transphobia are. look out for black trans women especially, they need your protection and support most of all

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

not much. I’m a woman with a very feminine gender expression, when I’m free to be. the biggest feminine thing that I don’t do is makeup, but that’s more due to dysphoria rather than a distaste for it

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

feminine uwu

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

I am a lesbian and that is very epic of me. I love girls and seeing girls in love makes me happy and imagining myself as a girl in love with another girl makes me even happier

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

I always hate admitting this, but due to personal reasons, my ideal partner is cis. this is mostly because I very much want to have biological children, and that’s simply not possible with another trans woman. I wouldn’t rule out an afab nonbinary person entirely, it just really depends on how comfortable said person is with femininity and also how they feel about dating a lesbian. if not for my desire to have kids (which is not something I’m willing to compromise on since it has been my lifelong dream) I would have a lot more options. truth be told, cis women kind of scare me, and it would be so much easier to date someone who fundamentally understands what it’s like to be trans. but biology is cruel unfortunately

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

it was incredibly difficult. thankfully, it didn’t last very long. I only had to wait about 6 months, and most of that time was spent waiting until I was able to bank sperm because I didn’t want to risk becoming permanently infertile after starting hrt

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

ngl...... reddit. the trans boards have many, many helpful resources for transfem people. I don’t really go there anymore but it was immensely helpful in the early stages

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

I mean..... yeah, but not very much anymore on account of the pandemic. I made a few trans friends junior year of college and we still talk occasionally, but it’s been several months since I last saw them all

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

not really 😔

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

“Wow Vivi how come you’re so epic?”

I was born this way <3

#personal

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fckkenny · 4 years

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☾ * » kendall jenner. cis female. she/her. ／ kennedy weber just pulled up blasting good as hell by lizzo and ariana grande — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty four year old professional dancer, i’ve heard they’re really impulsive, but that they make up for it by being so passionate. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say dancing in the rain, moon walks and sexy nude colors. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

Hi everyone. I’m Lo. CST. ♡

I haven’t RP in quite some time. I have a lot of RPing experienced, but to be honest I haven’t done it as I used to, for around four years. So yes, I might be a little rusty, help me out lol. I have a full time job and go to uni in the afternoons but because of quarantine I won’t be in uni classes until september. so I will have a lot of free time. I’ll try to be as active as I can, which it would mostly be at night. Though I’ll be lurking a lot. If you want to plot or just chat, don’t hesitate and send me a message.

Here’s a lot more about KENNEDY:

B A C K G R O U N D S T O R Y

» Kennedy Eden Weber. Her friends call her Kenny. Her mom calls her Eden.

» Born March 15, which makes her a Piscis.

» Born in Manhattan, New York. She was raised in Boston, Massachusetts. Moved back to New York when she was 10 and now she’s moved to Los Angeles.

» She comes from a wealthy family. Her dad, Hunter Weber [50] is a famous retired football player. Her mom, Lux Weber [49] is a housewife. Most of her family is into sports. Her older brothers are following her dad’s steps on becoming football players.

» Kennedy has a twin older brother, two older brothers and a younger brother; Elijah [30], Venneth[28], Knox [24] and Piper [16]. She is closest to Knox, being twins created a special bond between them.

C A R E E R [Career of Juliet Doherty]

» Kennedy is a professional dancer. Contemporary Ballet.

» At the age of 5 she started doing ballet. It was a hobby that turn into her passion.

» The first role she portrayed was Molly in a production of Annie at age 6.

» She moved to New York when she was 10 due to her parents divorced. Ballett was her getaway at the same time she was chosen to train in Manhattan in a building shared with American Ballet Theatre.

» She attended Fiorello H. LaGuardia high school as a dance major.

» She did summers intensives at the American Academy of Dance in Paris and at Paris Opera Ballet.

» By age 20 she had already taken home three gold medals at the Youth America Grand Prix International Finals. Which help her raise even more.

» She’s being part of many Broadway productions; Little Dancer, An American in Paris, Fame, West Side Stories, Hairspray and others.

» She started in a Hollywood movie when she was 22, Dancing In The Rain. Exploring other ways to express her art but standing her ground, as she was meant to be a dancer.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

» Kenny is super impulsive and stubborn, which kind of makes her unpredictable.

» She likes to party a lot and drink but she’s super strict when it comes to some unhealthy ways that could ruin her dance body.

» It’s easy for people to win her over and she becomes super protective of them. She’s friendly and outgoing.

» She can be a little though when it comes to showing her feelings, being raised around guys wasn’t the best.

» She finds people attractive easily, but believes she’s never been in love. She’s been in relationships before but her career was always first and it kept her really busy.

» She’s independent in every kind of way.

E X T R A S

» Dance is everything for her. When she’s center stage, that’s her truest self.

» She just moved to Los Angeles. Trying to see where live could take her now.

» She can sing and play the piano, as well. She’s not that good though. Her grandfather taught her.

» She speaks fluent, spanish and french as well.

» She has a bunny pet.

C O N N E C T I O N S

She’s new in Los Angeles, but she’s popular in her industry. So there’s always opportunities for plotting. This are just some basic ideas, to be honest I’m open to anything you might have in mind:

» Hook up:

» Close Friends:

» Childhood Friend:

» Exes:

» Rivals:

» Distant Family:

» Frenemies:

» Anything and more.

#- ( ooc. )#- ( hiiiii everyone!!! )#excess:intro #- ( about.kenny )#- ( I just watch free dance and got inspired lol )

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elinaline · 4 years

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Got tagged by @mixmio thanks ! my brain does not want to focus on work these days so perfect

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?

it’s like. black. I rarely use it though, because if I brush my hair it looks like a bomb exploded on my head fdjkfh so I untangle it after putting in conditioner and usually I just fight it with my bare hands in the morning

2. name of a food you never eat?

cucumber. fuck that vegetable it’s disgusting way too smelly and the texture is fucking horrible

3. are you typically too warm or too cold?

too warm !!!!!! and it’s only gonna get worse (: woohoo

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

I was being anxious lmao, and weirdly emotional because of that playlist spotify gave me. Also thinking about how to formulate the things I want on my report for my precedent internship that I still need to conclude.

5. what’s your favourite candy bar?

is it twix ? is it mars ? I never know the difference carambar good also

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?

I used to be in the official orchestra of a professional rugby team so I’ve been to a few dozens official sports events actually !! I’ll always remember the patrouille the France oing over our head as we were playing for a France-Ireland match in Bordeaux, that was amazing, and Irish rugby fans are so fun :)

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

“oh it’s bubbling up !” talking about a cake I’m trying to do with sourdough starter

8. what is your favourite ice cream?

fucking uuuhhhhh blueberry ? there’s no better ice cream taste than one made from wild blueberries that you went out in the moutain to pick with your family after noticing a good spot during a hike :3

9. what is the last thing you had to drink?

orange juice 5mins ago

10. do you like your wallet?

yeah ? it’s convenient I.... it’s got lots of pockets ? idk it’s sturdy wh. that’s a weird question actually

11. what was the last thing you ate?

lunch made by my roommate ! also a bit of the paste from aforementioned cake lol

12. did you buy any new clothes last week?

no I don’t intend on buying new clothes until a loooonnnngggg time I don’t particularly need any plus like. quarantine lol.

13. last sporting event you watched?

uh.

the. no wait ? no that’s it probably bits of the tour de france last summer ?

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn?

there are different flavors between salt and sugar ???????????? anyways salted popcorn is absolutely disgusting so. sugar. there are different flavors ? what a wild world we live in

15. who was the last person you sent a message to?

@breadstyx I was talking to them about the cake

16. ever go camping?

rarely

we were supposed to go camping this weekend, since it’s a long one what with May 8, with my class as sort of like one last big event altogether but :) fuck us I guess lol

17. do you take vitamins?

I used to in highschool bc I had toxoplasmosis and it fucking drained me. I’ve also taken some magnesium complements this year because I had vertigo caused by stress because it was such a nice year for me (: (: (:

18. do you go to church every Sunday?

LMAOOOOO NO

19. do you have a tan?

I’ve been stuck inside for the last two months and there is basically no direct sun in my apartment. so. I’m white as fuck rn

I’ll get SO sunburnt as soon as I can go outside lol but catch me rolling in the grass as soon as they reopen the parks, I haven’t seen grass in 52 days fuck off. Like knowing we’d get out of quarantine but that the parks would still be closed for a while did a funny number on my mental health hahaaaa

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

I’m not a big Chinese food fan generally :/ also what kind of pizza are we talking about ?

21. do you drink soda with a straw?

before I answer this question I need to know what you define as soda because I’ve never understood what non French people meant by that. also generally I don’t use straws apart for like milkshakes and smoothies

22. what colour socks do you wear?

right now I’m barefoot

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I haven’t driven in years my guy fdkfh but usually no I’m exactly at the speed limit I’m terrified of driving and I hate it SO

24. what terrifies you?

like, right now, or ? in general ? I’m terrified of every countries around slowly turning into authoritarian regimes and not being able to do shit, I’m terrified of the general mistrust towards science I can see in the general public, I’m terrified of the rise of fascism, I’m terrified of climate change in a very short term idea because I can’t bear many more summers above 45°C and in the long term because I’d like today’s kids to have a future, I’m terrified of never being enough and not getting a PhD funding, I’m terrified people will get bored of me or think I’m not useful anymore and leave me and I’d have to rebuild myself from zero again, I’m terrified of the general idea of losing control, I’m terrified of big empty spaces, I’m terrified of causing harm of any kind without being able to control or reduce it. You know the usual dose of existential fear and then some, and then some more for good measure haha :)

25. look to your left what do you see?

a calendar

26. what chore do you hate?

doing the dishes and getting the bin out because it hurts my back

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

":)” loved going to Melbourne would love to go back I miss my friend there

28. what’s your favourite soda?

seriously define soda first. If you mean drink with bubble I don’t like any of them basically. If you mean processed drink with an average of five sugar cubes per can I’d say Oasis ? or Ice Tea

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru?

never been to a drive through. fast foods yeah ! there used to be a Declercq (it’s like belgian fries, v good, v greasy, perfect for a friday night with friends) near my school but they had an oil fire so it burned down :( so now the alternative for greasy fries is BK

30. who was the last person you talked to?

@breadstyx whom I sent a message to about the cake. IRL I live with my roommate so.

t31. favourite cut of beef?

one that’s tender ? you think I know perfectly which cut is what and not that I don’t buy the cheapest one when I feel like polluting a lot with what I eat ?

32. last song you listened to?

I’m currently listening to a spotify playlist. I’s currently playing hang on

Willow tree by twin wild i’ve never heard of these guys but ok

33. last book you read?

oh fuck I’m in a “unable to read” period lmao. Probably one of the October Daye series uh. The one where her mom comes to steal her fiance and her twin

34. can you say the alphabet backwards?

zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihfedcba

took a while but I think it’s correct ? It’s like. I know sequences that are easy to invert and I need to link them together that’s the tricky part

35. how do you like your coffee?

black

36. favourite pair of shoes?

Before I bought my docks I had those huge bulgy shoes that I loved because no one could step on my feet in the metro, but the insole started caving in in a weird way and it hurt my ankle so I had to stop wearing them :(

37. the time you normally go to bed?

(: NORMALLY around midnight, but rn it’s more like. between 1 and 2 am when I’m not too bad

38. the time you normally wake up?

NORMALLY around 8 but I’ve decided 9.30 would be good, and I usually am able to get up only by 10am

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets?

I’m usually not awake for sunrises but both are good. I like the hour JUST after sunset best because it’s like. you can see daysky on one side and nightsky on the other, and everything is sort of blue or sort of orange

40. how many blankets are on your bed?

one

41. describe your kitchen plates?

they’re round and kinda concave so that food doesn’t get out ? I? do you have many weird questions like that

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I’m a sucker for a good piña colada but it’s hard to get them exactly right, like the balance between too sweet and too creamy is subtle

43. do you play cards?

in highschool I used to but I’ve forgotten all the game we’d do

44. what colour is your car?

don’t have one

45. can you change a tire?

lmao

46. your favourite province?

If we’re talking french region, Aquitaine is the closest I’ve ever felt to being home I guess ? I love the Pyrenées as well, all three old regions I don’t know the new ones fdfsdhfsdf

47. favourite job you’ve had?

I’ve only ever done summer camp counselor as a summer job, and I’ve had both a traumatising experience filled with sexual harassment and a really good experience that helpes me get more self confident so.

48. how did you get your biggest scar?

it’s not really a scar it’s a bump on my head that never left, I hit my brother in the garden pool at full speed when I was 7

49. what did you do today that made someone happy?

afaik nothing but I’m about to put this cake to bake SO

I am tagging uuuuuuuuuhhh say @sunny-day-sky andddd @queerlynx but like. don’t feel pressured to do it, it’s a Lot

#tag game #long post

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letstalksymphogear · 5 years

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Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

#symphogear #recap #anime #comedy #sponsored by taco bell

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valkyrieofsmut · 5 years

Text

Engel de la Gargouille Section 2 part 9

Engel de la Gargouille (Gargoyle’s Angel)

Kurt Wagner/ Nightcrawler x Female OC

Overall series warnings: Smut, bit of violence, swearing, German (translations provided, but I have bad grammar… Sorry native speakers…) French (translations provided, but they are mostly like Google translations, as I am VERY new to French) (Translation help/ corrections are always welcome) (Will be added as they come up) Chapter warnings will be added individually as well.

Types: Smut, Angst, Mutual pining, Pregnancy, Romance, Love, Insecurity, Long as hell…

A/n- ... just gonna put a smiley face here, because that's what I need to focus on... lol Sorry the chapters are going to be short for a while, since was trying to make it easy to follow the passage of time (for myself and readers) and separated the seasons into chapters, some are a bit short because not a lot happened that season.

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Story!

Kurt was walking around the lawn, enjoying the noon time sun, and Angeline watched him from around the edge of the umbrella she’d put up near the pool.

“I wish I was as developed as you,” Jubilee told her.

Angeline’s face turned back to her, looking troubled around her sunglasses. “No, you don’t. Everyone stares at you all the time, making inappropriate, nasty remarks, the men only see the outside, and the women only want to destroy you. You don’t need that.”

“I meant that I wish I could wear a bikini,” Jubilee told her. “I don’t have enough to keep the top down,” she complained.

Angeline turned her head slightly. “I’d give you some of mine if I could, but I’d rather you didn’t have to deal with the stupidity of others.”

Jubilee stared at her, watching for her to turn back to the object of her sunglassed eye’s obsession. “I don’t care if you stare at him, you know. I know you’re still paying attention to me,” she teased.

Angeline looked back to her. “What are you talking about?”

“The guy you like.”

“I am a-sexual,” Angeline told her. “I like no one.”

Jubilee laughed at her. “Whatever! You are so in love with him!”

Angeline blushed. “Shut up!” She demanded urgently.

Jubilee laughed harder. “You’re sitting out here in the sun, which you said makes you feel sick, hiding, and watching him. You’re basically a stalker!”

Angeline blushed harder. “Jubilee, Ta gueule!”

Kurt had apparently finished his walk and was headed back into the mansion. When he passed them, Angeline laid there stiffly as Jubilee smiled at him and called out, “hi, Kurt!”

He smiled back and waved as he went into the building.

“Ah, you’re just like a little sister!” Angeline exclaimed in teasing exasperation after Kurt was out of earshot. "But, he is a very handsome man..." She quietly admitted to her.

... ... ...

Angeline laid on Jubilee’s bed as the younger girl sat at her desk and worked on her homework for the summer classes she was taking to catch up on her credits to graduate on time. “Come on,” she whined. “Won’t you help me?”

“Non, you have to learn it yourself,” Angeline answered as she flipped another page in the book she was reading.

“Please?” Jubilee begged, but Angeline shook her head. “Arg, what is even the point of being friends with you if you won’t help me with my French homework?!” She demanded teasingly.

“Maybe you shouldn't have taken that online French class, then, n'est-ce pas?” Angeline teased back.

“Well, I took it because my best friend is from France, and I thought maybe she'd help me!” Jubilee told her in dramatic exasperation.

Angeline looked up at her in surprise. Jubilee was, without a doubt, her best friend, but she had never assumed that she was hers. “You want a French phrase?” Jubilee nodded at her. “Ok… Mmmm… How about la douleur exquise.”

Jubilee looked at her in confusion, then pulled her book to her and tried to look it up. “Wh-what does that mean? I can’t find it anywhere…”

Angeline smirked as she looked back at her book. “Think through the words. What do they mean?”

Jubilee rolled her eyes and sighed. “The… hurt, or- pain, right?” Angeline nodded. “Exquisite. Wait, the hurt exquisite? What is that?”

“It is the feeling a certain very handsome man inspires within me,” Angeline answered to her book.

Jubilee blinked. “Because he hits you, or something?”

Angeline’s brows rose as her eyes shot to her. “Non, God, no, Jubilee. Hitting in relationships is wrong- you should never let someone hit you. If someone does, you tell me, and I’ll make them stop, or make them unable. Whichever is the one that will work.”

Jubilee’s brow crimped at the seriousness in her voice. “I was joking… Someone hit you, didn’t they…”

Angeline’s large blue eyes met hers. “It’s in the past. And I should have stopped them. That’s all I’ll say about it.”

“Was it…” Jubilee’s lips lifted in a smile as she attempted to lift the mood again. “Was it during sex?”

Angeline groaned. “Jubilee, you have your mind lodged in the gutter. But, you can ask me anything you want about when I had sex,” she told the younger girl with a laughing smile.

“Ok, where did you have it your first time?” Jubilee jumped at the chance to speak about the usually “taboo” subject.

Angeline smiled up at her, closing her book on her hand. “I haven’t.”

Jubilee’s brows met. “You, haven’t? You mean that you haven’t had sex, yet?” Angeline shook her head. “But, then, how am I supposed to ask you anything about it?”

“You can ask whatever you want, however the answer will be that I haven’t yet.”

Jubilee huffed and turned back to her French phrasebook, realizing that she’d been tricked. “Well, then how about explaining that phrase you gave me? I still can’t find it, and I don’t understand what it means. Is it some kinda blue ball thing, where you really want to have sex with Kurt, but don’t?”

Angeline nearly choked as she sat up, letting her book fall closed on the bed. “Excusez-moi?!”

“What? You’re always talking about him when you say that, “a very handsome man”; you mean Kurt.”

Angeline blushed a little as she looked over Jubilee. “Well…”

“Come on, it’s for homework, furthering my education…” She baited.

“Well, it is the pain that you feel- it’s when your heart… Jubilee, you know how you get a crush on a celebrity, and you know that there’s no way you’ll ever be able to be with them?”

The younger girl looked at the poster on her wall and lifted her nose teasingly. “I will definitely get a date with my crush.”

“Fine, you will,” Angeline humored. “But, you know how the rest of the world feels?”

“Poor souls,” she nodded.

“That joy of being in love, the pain that you will never be able to be with the one you love, that is la douleur exquise as best I can explain.”

“Like unrequited love?” Angeline agreed hesitantly. “Why don’t you ask him out? I’m pretty sure he’s into you.”

Angeline shook her head. “I have been here for nearly two years, trying to get his attention, and flirting with him, and asked him out once or twice, but he is very much not interested.”

“Did you show him the goods?”

“Jubilee, believe me when I say that I know how to do that, and that even standing in front of him nearly naked in my bikini got no reaction,” Angeline told her.

“Wow, he doesn’t seem that dense… What about talking? What have you said to him?”

Angeline tried not to laugh or blush. “Merde, Jubilee, I once asked him what the difference between a tongue bath and a sponge bath is. He ran away as fast as his feet would carry him.”

Jubilee’s brows raised. “Damn. What about asking him out? How did you ask him?”

“I said-” Angeline paused to compose herself. “I commented that he was on his second mug of coffee that morning. I asked if it was good. He said it was ok, so I told him that maybe we should go out and spend the day to find somewhere with better coffee…”

Jubilee settled her chin in her hand on the edge of her desk. “Hmm… Well… Even though those samples sound ok… Say something now,” she demanded.

“What?” Angeline asked.

“Say something- pretend that I’m Kurt. Say something flirty to me.”

Angeline rolled her eyes. “Ah, Kurt what beautiful skin you have. May I touch it?”

Jubilee’s jaw dropped. “Damn. You’re going straight for the throat.”

“Huh?” Angeline asked.

“Well, I mean, that is a really strong come on. You started at that level?”

Angeline shrugged, her face flushing in embarrassment. “I have not had much experience, I admit,” she mumbled, “but what I have seen or heard is all at that level. It’s really all I know; I didn’t know that there were different levels…”

“Well, shit, Angeline, maybe you just started out too strong. I’ll help you, you can start again, be a bit more tactful, and discreet… That might help… Who knows, maybe with you pulling it back in a bit, he might jump at you.”

“One can hope,” Angeline murmured. “Thank you, Jubilee, for offering…”

... ... ...

Angeline walked closer to Kurt, her lip running across her bottom teeth nervously as she resisted the urge to pace back and forth until he got to her. He was in front of her, and Angeline stopped suddenly, turning to him. “Excuse me, Kurt.”

”He turned and looked at her, glancing to the direction he had been traveling, then back to her. “Hallo, Angeline.” She smiled at him, and he felt his heart beat quickly.

“I-I was wondering, what kind of movies- you like to watch,” she told him softly, hoping to make him have to lean in.

“Movies?” He asked, and she nodded with another perfect smile that made warmth swell in his belly.

Her perfect golden hair brushed around her shoulders, making him want to do the same with his fingers as he pushed it out if the way for his lips, and her large blue eyes were focused on him, making him realize how innocent she was, and that she probably would not like him thinking about her in that manner.

He had to take a breath to remember what had last been said. “Ah, ja, movies... Well, I can’t think of any right now,” he admitted.

Her expression fell a little. “What about, ah,” she paused and bit her lip again. Kurt’s eyes were stuck there to see her release her lip, then flick her tongue out across it before she spoke again. “Um, Ratatouille?” She asked, having to think back to something, and feeling stupid when she realized that she’d picked a children’s movie.

“The mouse chef?” Kurt paused. “Ja,I think I have see that, one of kids had it, I think.”

Angeline looked at the ground. Damn it. She was trying to seem interesting and she sounded like she only watched little kids movies. “Ah, or- no,” she held back, thinking that Princess and the frog was another Disney movie.

“Are you looking for more movies to watch?” Angeline looked up to his eyes and nodded happily, hoping that she was saved and going to do ok. “What kind do you like?” He asked.

“Ah- all kinds,” she assured readily, trying not to say anything that made her sound childish or stupid.

“Well, I’ll look through what we have and maybe make a list of suggestions for you, would that be ok?” He asked.

Angeline bit her lip, deflating a little. “I- ah- ok…” That’s not how that was supposed to go… She had wanted him to suggest that they at least go look, and eventually watch one, together, if she didn’t suggest going to one, first…

“I’m sorry, Angeline,” he told her. “I have somewhere I need to be, would it be ok if I got back to you on this?” She nodded, trying not to look too much like an emotional wreck as he bowed and walked away.

Kurt closed his eyes briefly as he left, berating himself for his thoughts and actions.

She'd asked him about movies, and while merely being in her presence had made all of his knowledge of the subject matter leave his mind, he had wanted to suggest that they look through the selection in the entertainment room, which made his mind jump to the selection he had in his room- his room, that was more secluded and had no seating except his bed or the floor.

Which had made him think of sitting that much closer to her, in his room, alone…

Which had made him think of what he could do with her, alone in his room…

Which had made his heart beat faster and made his body perk up.

Which had made him disgusted with himself for thinking, and getting so excited by, such dirty and impure thoughts about this beautiful, pure girl.

And that was why he had ran away this time. He really did have somewhere he was heading, but he didn't need to be there for at least an hour.

‘Maybe one day,’ he thought to himself, ‘maybe one day I will be able to stay and speak to her.’

................

Tag list!

If you’d like to be on any of my tag lists, please let me know! Also starting up my Ao3!

@racheo91 @a-book-pressed-rose @tephi101 @keldachick @Randomfandompenguin @Avacadobutthole @mannls @screeching-student-unknown @lilypalmer1987 @pingu89 @gifsbysimplysonia @omnomsauruswrites @mybloodtypeiscoffee @lizfawn @badassbaker

#Kurt Wagner #nightcrawler #female oc #female original character #marvel #valkyrieofsmut #X-men #romance #multi part story #comfort #fluff #kurt wagner x oc #nightcrawler x oc

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #234

“don’t take care of me - be scared of me.”

Does it bother you when people beg? I mean, it depends on the consistency, intensity, and the subject. Do you ever eat cookie dough raw? I have, but salmonella will punish me some day. Are you one of those people who are always cold? I am the exact opposite. When was the last time you rode a rollercoaster? Pf, never. Don't want to. Do you like hot dogs? I hate the fact that I love them lol. Do you have any weird rings? I wouldn't consider any "weird," no. Have any bad addictions? Ugh, caffeine. Are you anything like your siblings? I am very, very different from my two immediate sisters. Ma says I'm extremely similar to Katie, my half-sister, though it's odd because we don't seem to agree on very much? I don't even think she likes me. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Literally not since like... February. It's not like anybody but family sees my legs anyway. It's just stupid societal expectations for a woman, and I've never been prone to obeying those to begin with. Do you like long bike rides? I used to LOVE riding my bike when I lived in the woods/by an almost-dead road, but I haven't that in... god, years. I don't even have that bike anymore. My knees would never, EVER survive riding one right now. Do you know someone who is blind? My sister is in one eye, but I can't remember which. Do you have a YouTube account? how else would I like every Mark video in existence and I wish I was kidding?????????????? How many cell phones have you had? No clue. Not many. Maybe like, four or so. When was the last time something bothered you? Yesterday 'cuz I was getting weird fuckin phone calls. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if they seem like something I'd like. Can you speak French or Spanish? No. What school year do you think will be/was the saddest? 8th. Anxiety and depression were getting bad, puberty was A Thing, confused about life in general and why all this sadness and fear was happening to me. Do you like boys with long hair? I mean this depends on the person, but in general, yes. I think I prefer it over shorter, in most cases. Have you ever had plum juice? No, but that sounds decent. If I can even remember what a plum tastes like... I loved them as a kid, haven't had one in like, years. Have you ever passed out? Once, almost twice not long after the first time. Was today someones birthday that you know? No. Have you drank any water today? A little bit. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? Holy shit. Probably not since we MOVED here in '17. Are you worried about anything right now? When aren't I at least a bit worried about something, really. Are you keeping anything from your best friends right now? No. Do you currently have any mosquito bites? Not currently. A- blood, hell yeah man. Do you have Twitter? Yes. Literally to like. um. one somebody's stuff. If you found out you were pregnant, who would you tell? God FUCKING forbid. Obviously my family. Sara. If it was from consensual sex, I'd tell friends eventually. If it was, uh, any other way, probably not EVEN some family because there are some that would probably never speak to me again if I got an abortion. Is your driveway stone or pavement? Stone. Have you ever caught something on fire? Yeah. Y'know, s'mores, sparklers, wood when making a bonfire or something. Regular stuff. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two. Idr if Sara and I ever have. Do you and your best friend have an inside joke? "buzzfeed" Do you have a gym membership? Not anymore. How long was your last shower? Not even ten minutes. Get clean and get out. What is your favorite color fingernail polish? I think red tends to be the prettiest. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of? Man, don't ask me this. I have a billion ideas. If I had the money for it though, I'd probably finally get this (Denialism) as a tat on my left upper arm next. It's like, my favorite drawing ever, and I've already gotten the artist's permission. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic has had my heart lately. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? I just generally like vibrant and/or light blue eyes, but I really don't care about someone's eye color. What is your mom’s maiden name? Yeah, let's share that on the Internet. Would you rather receive balloons or flowers for valentine’s day? Flowers. Balloons are nothing but waste and wind up as litter anyway. Do you follow the crowd when it comes to trends or do your own thing? Do my own thing. Trends 'n shit don't matter to me; I don't care how "cool" or "uncool" something is. I like what I like. What is your worst bad habit? Assuming the worst of absolutely everything within .01 seconds. Do you believe in happily ever after? No. Things aren't always gonna be happy, sorry. What is your average phone bill? I don't know, Dad pays it. Which is better: chapstick or lip gloss? Chapstick. Have you ever been proposed to? No. Do you take certain medicine on a daily basis? A decent number. Have you ever seen two people together and you got sick to your stomach? I remember seeing a picture of Jason and his girlfriend after me once after they got together and I. Don't know how to describe that feeling. I think I felt more murderous than anything. Do you prefer laptops or desktop computers? Laptops for portability's sake. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, the haircut I had before this one wasn't great. Only at some angles did it look good. I mean I don't regret it though, it's how I realized I think I'd like short hair. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalog? Never heard of them. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I love black eyeliner, but I don't have any favorite brands. I hate liquid, though. My hands aren't steady enough for that, and it's just messy. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Meh, not a big fan. Idk. Do you have any overdue library books right now? No. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you own plaid pants? No. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? Yeah, through all of middle school. What was your high school’s mascot? A firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? I had various ones. Excluding The Ex, there was Hannia, Alon, Megan, Maria, Girt... There was a few. Have you ever been to Chicago? Once, with Sara and her dad. At night. And the lights and cars and shops and towers and everything was too much for my rural ass. I'm not a city person, but because it was SO different and just incredible in scope and all, I still thought it was absolutely beautiful and so exciting. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. When my sister and I were little and shared a room though, I almost always had the top bunk. As I got older though, that inverted. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I THINK Aaron did once, but I can't remember for sure. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Not especially, but only because, like my cousins, I pretty much never see them. Are you close to your grandparents? All but one is dead, and that one is dying. Barely knew any, save for my remaining grandmother, and we've never gotten along well/agreed on much, but I mean, I still care for her. I also pretty much never saw her. Who betrayed your trust? Plenty of people. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Brianna. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I don't know. Probably play make-believe or go swimming. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Normal with butter and salt. Does your town have a big fountain in it? The next town over does. What is your town known for? "You mean Tennessee?" Don't think that's too much of a giveaway. What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I am very dependent on Mom. What’s one way in which you’re old? My knees are at least 107. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? gooooooood take me to get a tatTOOOOOOO What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Mom buying tickets to the Ozzy concert next year alksdjfalwe. I've been losing my fucking mind since the new single came out and album was announced. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I'm not a vengeful person at all, really. I tend to forgive. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English has always been a breeze, and usually science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Just about anyone looks better with dyed hair to me. I just like colorful, interesting hair. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes. I was born dirty blonde. Do you own an American flag shirt? No. Do you own a British flag shirt? No. Do you have a seashell collection? No. We used to have a box of them, though. Do you have a rock collection? No. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just chill. Casually swim around aimlessly. Cacti or seashells? Hmmmm. I think seashells, but that's tough. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? MAN, this depends on the design. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? The only one I have that I consider the absolute *perfect* moment was at Ashley's gender reveal when she and her husband found out the baby is a girl. Her face especially is priceless. What color was your first car? N/A Was your first car used or new? N/A What was the last thing you said in complete caps? HAHAHA I sent Sara a fucking CURSED picture of Pennywise as a good morning text. Do you enjoy playing board games? Not really. Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek? I guess I was as a kid. I'm sure I wouldn't be now. Elephants can't really hide. :^) Do you live in an apartment or a house? A house. Is there a music artist that never ceases to amaze you? As far as truly *amaze* goes, probably Amy Lee. Her voice is just fucking incredible. What is your favorite term of endearment? Probably "love." Or "dear." I dunno. Do you like Twizzlers? NO. They're gross as hell. Do you sneak in candy/soda when you go to the movies? Yeup. Fuck those prices. What was the last song you had on repeat? I adore Ozzy's new "Under The Graveyard" beyond words and so have been binging it like mad since yesterday lmao. Where are your favorite pair of jeans from? I don't have jeans. Do you tap your foot when you listen to music? No. If I respond to it in any voluntary way, I'll most likely be tapping my hand with the beat. Will you get your hair cut anytime soon? I need to, yeah. I hate when my hair starts getting long enough to curl a tad upwards in the back. Are you uncoordinated? VERY. Have you ever listened to Jane’s Addiction? I know and enjoy "Jane Says" and "Been Caught Stealing." What’s the worst thing you’ve ever experienced? Heartbreak. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? I dunno, there's a lot. Do you write “Dear Diary” when you write in your diary? I don't have a diary. I don't think I ever did. What is your escape from your problems? Music, playing WoW, stuff like that. Just give me a distraction. Do you watch YouTube videos a lot? Literally every day throughout the day. It's at least background noise. Do you have an embarrassing period story? No, thankfully. Would your life be at risk if someone knew everything about you? No. Is your life at risk? I mean, more than like by disease, some psycho, an accident, shit like that, no? Do you feel safe in your hometown? No. Never did. I miss our house and the childhood memories, but that place was dangerous. Where do you dream of moving to? The mountains of NC. What fascinates you more: outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Space. Have you ever seen a UFO? I guess by the definition of "unidentified flying object," yes, but I think it was some sort of natural phenomenon with a star, not an alien. Maybe. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? Yeah. :') What is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said to you? "i'Ll AlWaYs LoVe YoU, bRiTtAnY!" What’s the most amount of weight you’ve gained from a medication? LET'S. FUCKING. NOT. Do you name inanimate objects? No. What do you think the constellations mean? "Nothing? Just humanity reaching to ascribe some type of meaningfulness to the world around them." <<<< This, I like this. Did you like the venue your senior prom was held at? I mean it was at the local college's gym. Nothing special. Which spelling do you like best: Hayley, Hailey, or Haley? Hm, I think "Hailey." Which name is better: Hailey, Bailey, Kailey, or Shailey? Ummmmm I think "Kailey." Are you mad at someone? I'm always going to be mad to a degree. Do you feel like your life was stolen from you? I guess in a way by mental illness? Do you have a professional camera? Yeah. What would you change about your hair? Ugh, I want to COLOR it. I really want silver hair atm. When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? Last year. Do you like rose gold? I love it. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't... care? Oh wait, maybe green. Those normally have an apple kinda feel, right? Or do they all thaste the same? What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? I like s h o u l d e r b l a d e s. Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about? Only ever poems. Ever had a song sang about/for you? I mean, I've had like songs /dedicated/ to me, but never actually made for me specifically. What is your middle name? Marie. Like every other white girl known to man. What do you smell like? My house, I guess? Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? I don't believe so. Do you have freckles? Not on my face, but random ones on the rest of my body, yeah. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I seriously hate feet. That includes mine. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? uhhhhhhhhh Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shorty" instead of "girl"? Ugh no, thank Christ. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? No. What IS your most embarrassing moment? I've told it before but now I don't remember it??? What’s the last thing to make you scream? Like a small, quick one, I think a loud noise scared me. I've been extremely sensitive to those lately and idk why??? Do your parents knock before coming in, or just barge on in? My door's never really closed, but when it is, Mom doesn't. Dad does. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? BOY neither. Do you own any mini skirts? Bitch I wish I could wear mini skirts but I would blind people with my body rn. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? Nah. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Good question, idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? Yeah. Do you have a deep voice? It's definitely deep for a girl, but it's not like, manly. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? I guess the last time I was out for breakfast? Idr. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? A mailman/woman. No one else comes here unexpectedly. Has anyone ever licked your foot? UM NO Do you play games with boys/girls, like "hard to get"? I never did and never will. I'm definitely not easy, but I don't play games. Oh wait, unless we're already a serious couple and I'm sexually being a tease. Hobby. When’s the last time someone told you they were in love with you? Some time back. Is there a Sonic where you live? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, sausage... stuff like that. I'm WEAK for meat lovers pizza sobs heavily in wanna-be vegetarian Do you know anyone who lives in Newfoundland? No. How ‘bout Alberta? No. Anyone in Canada at all? Yeah, a friend's ex. She's cool. If you could trade houses with a friend, who would it be? I wouldn't damn anyone with this house, lol. I mean it's not bad, it just has its issues. Are you a good person to come to for advice? It depends on the subject we're talkin' here. Do you sleep naked? No. I'd feel so vulnerable. Favorite place you've been: Through the NC mountains. Which of your Facebook friends lives closest to you? UHHHHHHHHH how do I not know this?? When was the last time you cried? Idr, actually. Who took your profile pic? Where? What’s your favorite season? Autumn. What was the last book you read? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking read it. Are you a good influence? This also depends on the area of focus. Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Sweet and savory do noooot mix in my world.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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specswritesstuff · 6 years

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A little continuation of my last fic for these two, the middle school dance one. It’s awhile in the future, a year or two I’d say!! This is for fun so there will be errors!!! Feel free to let me know what you think!

((Fruk: Dating isn’t easy))

Being a freshman in an American highschool wasn’t too easy. Being a 5’5 native French speaker wasn’t too easy either when he was surrounded by fluent English speakers and huge football players. Highschool was intimidating...But what was more intimidating for Francis was love

Of course an Englishman had won his heart. Francis’ neighbor, Arthur Kirkland, has lived in America a bit longer than Francis had. They grew up fighting with sticks instead of swords, spending the night at eachothers houses and baking on rainy afternoons. Middle school separated them a bit. Sure they went to their dance together, that was lovely, but they both did things after school resulting in less time for them to spend together.

Francis had fencing lessons and he ran his school’s art club...Arthur was the head of student council so they rarely saw eachother. Naturally, Francis wanted to make things different. He’d made an effort all year to be talking to Arthur. He joined student concil with him, walked home with him and always made sure to listen to all of those wild stories Arthur had. “You wouldn’t even believe it, Francis. Mr. Thorne gave me a C- on that math quiz! Utter bullocks I tell you” “Ah, you still did better than me on that, cher”

Once they warmed back up to eachother again...They found themselves hanging out more. Arthur would have Francis over for dinner- The Kirkland household was very disorganized with its six kids- and Francis would have Arthur over on the weekends to watch stupid American movies together. Usually they fell asleep on eachothers shoulders...

Of course Francis just adored this! He had missed his best friend...They lived next door to eachother yet they barely spoke but now? Now they were close like before.

“Cher?” Francis murmured, laying on Arthur’s bed with the sheets pulled around his shoulders. Arthur was doing his chemistry homework, biting the end of his pen in thought

“Hm..?”

“Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I like your house more-“

“Well- I mean as something else...”

“Like a date then..?” They looked up at eachother, stupid blushes rising on their cheeks

“It’s fine if you don’t want to, don’t feel compelled to say yes-“

“No! No I do want to come. What time..? Tomorrow is a Saturday so Dylan has lacrosse...” Arthur pushed his hair out of his face, rubbing the back of his neck nervously

“How about five?” Francis offered, earning a nod from Arthur in return. He laid back down with a dorky smile, turning away a bit so Arthur couldn’t see

••••

When morning rolled around, the Bonnefoy household was turned upside down. Francis was a whirlwind cleaning. He put little Michelle in her room “If you come out before I’m done cleaning the vacuum will eat you!”...Of course Mrs. Bonnefoy did not approve of that. Their house had to look perfect though, Francis refused to let it look like a pig pen. He found Cheerios in the couch cushions, change on their kitchen floor and...A bunch of ripped up tissues around the trash can.

Francis spent all morning cleaning and once one o’clock hit, he started on the desert he’d share with his Englishman. A cheesecake, Francis’ favorite treat, with strawberries and blueberries, Arthur’s favorite fruits. His parents helped him prepare the beef stew he planned on serving and his sisters collected flowers, and weeds, from the garden for to make a somewhat ugly boquet.

Everyone was in good spirits. Francis’ parents were excited for this little date. They’ve known the Kirklands for eight years now and they’ve always thought that Arthur was a wonderful young lad. Francis’ sisters were having fun helping decorate, making sure to chirp “Franny’s having a date~ Franny’s having a date~” over and over as they tied flowers with ribbons. Everything was just going to be perfect.

Francis got his family to eat in the kitchen while he took over the dining room, lighting his coconut scented candles and dimming the lights like he saw in movies. He combed his hair for the billionth time and put his contacts in, obsessing over the time. It was four thirty...

He messed around with his retainer, clicking the little container for it open and closed for awhile before hiding it in the bathroom. Five o’clock.

Francis stood at the door, peeking out of the peephole, just waiting for him to arrive...

Five thirty...Francis was pacing, his family watching with sad but encouraging smiles “He’ll he over soon, garçon, it isn’t like him to forget” He shrugged at his papa, deciding to pace in the dining room instead.

Six o’clock. The food was now cold...Francis put it in the oven to try to warm it up but he knew that it wouldn’t taste as good now that he’d left it cold for too long

Six thirty. His sisters came to keep him company, sitting at the dining room table with him “He’ll come! Maybe he’s just nervous!” Francis sighed and rubbed his face “Maybe...”

Eight thirty rolled around soon enough. Michelle and Angelique were sent to bed and Francis’ parents made their way into the dining room, frowning at their son who was staring at his candle, his eyes dull...sad

“Francis...Bebe, I think...I think you should put this in the fridge” “But he might be coming-!” “Francis...” the teenager looked up at his parents and scoffed, standing abruptly to hurry past them, practically running up the stairs to slam his bedroom door behind him. Francis threw himself onto his bed and cried softly...Why did he ever think this would work...He checked his phone, no new messages. Not even anything from Arthur...

“Idiot...Why did I think this was a good idea...”

••••

Arthur had been trying to call Francis all morning. He knew Francis was seeing his calls...He was just sending him to voicemail each time

Eventually, he’d had enough. Arthur threw a jacket on over his pajamas and walked over the driveway that separated their houses, knocking on the Bonnefoys’ door

Francis’ papa was the one who answered, a shorter man with black hair pulled back into a ponytail “Oh...Arthur. I don’t think Francis wants to see you” Arthur frowned “Is he awake?” “Oui, uh...He told me not to let you in”

Arthur rubbed his face “Mr. Bonnefoy...I’ve been trying to get ahold of him all morning, I swear...Im just here to apologize” Mr. Bonnefoy relented, calling inside for Francis to come downstairs. Arthur could barely understand, he hadn’t taken French lessons since sixth grade.

Francis trudged down the stairs in his pink robe, his hair in foam curlers and bags under his eyes, glaring daggers at Arthur. His papa left them alone, Francis crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame, staring expectantly at him

“Well?”

“Francis, Love-“ “Don’t ‘love’ me Arthur! Do you know what you did?-“ “I know! I know i should have called-!” “You made me look like an absolute fool in front of my family! I spent all day getting ready for you and this is what I get-?” “Francis you know I didn’t mean to miss this-!” “You should have called or something! Idiot! Don’t you know what a cellphone is?! I waited for you until almost nine o’clock last night! I just sat and waited for you because I just hoped that last night would not just be a terrible failure! I wanted it to be special because I miss doing things with you! I made you a cheesecake dammit!” He covered his face and Arthur felt his heart break.

He pulled Francis into a hug and sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head on his shoulder “I’m sorry...I really am sorry...Yesterday was so busy...Dylan had his game, Allistor popped our tire...Peter got lost in the mechanic’s...My parents insisted that we went to Wendy’s for dinner...We didn’t get home until almost eleven and...We’ll I guess I’d hoped you would still be up. Your house’s lights were all off when I got there though...”

Francis held onto him loosely, sighing and listening though he was still rather upset “You never told me...” “I know...” “You owe me...”

Arthur pulled back and ran his hands over Francis’ back soothingly “How about I take you to Olive Garden?” “How about you come in and just have cheesecake for breakfast with me instead?”

They both smiled at eachother and Francis tugged Arthur inside. He couldn’t stay mad at him forever...It was better to just let it go than to hold a grudge. And to be quite honest, it felt so good to be with Arthur again. Arthur promised not to do that again...And Francis promised that if Arthur did leave him hanging like that again, he would never cook for him again

((Just a little warmup lol I haven’t really written on here in awhile!! 😅😅))

#fruk #fic #hetalia #aph #aph france #aph england

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ahouseoflies · 5 years

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The Best Films of 2018, Part I

I’ll associate my moviegoing this year with two things: subscription models and superhero films. Realizing that I was the target audience, I signed up for Moviepass in March, then canceled just before they started extorting people in July. (I’ll remember you all semi-fondly, conniving alarmists in the Moviepass Reddit thread.) Thanks to Moviepass, I took full advantage of my free time over the summer, and I found some nice surprises that I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. From there I joined AMC A-List, which is the rare corporate service that I cannot complain about in any way. Moviepass always felt like some kind of drug deal, whereas A-List is as easy and inviting an experience as possible. I get to seek out Dolby, IMAX, or 3-D showings instead of getting locked out of them, and the electronic ticketing helps with my last-minute availability. (I’ve mastered the art of lovingly putting my daughter to bed, only to desert her and my wife five minutes later. “You know, there’s an 8:10 showing of The Predator, which means 8:30 after previews...”) My overall viewing was up 11% this year, which I have to attribute to these subscriptions. Perhaps I saw too much though. After a self-righteous five-year ban on superhero movies, I caught up in 2019 like the madman completist that I am. On the plus side, I enjoyed Wonder Woman and Guardians of the Galaxy, and I vaguely feel more connected with the culture-at-large. But I could have been more selective. The diligence required to watch X-Men: Apocalypse late on a Thursday night took away from, say, my Orson Welles project or...reading books. To get some of the business out of the way, I haven’t seen Burning, Shoplifters, Destroyer, Cold War, The Sisters Brothers, Tomb Raider, The Wife, or The House That Jack Built. Not all of us get screeners or care about seeing The Wife. Mostly for argument purposes, I list everything I saw and divide the movies into the categories of Garbage, Admirable Failures, Endearing Curiosities with Big Flaws, Pretty Good Movies, Good Movies, Great Movies, and Instant Classics. Hey, speaking of superheroes: GARBAGE

123. Venom (Ruben Fleischer)- Venom was first announced as an R-rated film until it was neutered into PG-13 at some point in the development road. That was the right choice because this is a movie, in all of its broad, careless storytelling, for children. "So he's going to get married to her but then he looks at her email and then he interviews the guy and he gets fired so then she leaves him and he drinks now?" This is a dummy's version of what a journalist is or what a scientist is, and it never shades into more subtlety than exactly what is on the expected surface. I guess that Tom Hardy gets to jump into a lobster tank if that floats your boat, but the story is stuck on fast-forward for the whole movie, never relenting to develop character or do anything other than communicate information that we don't really need.

Venom is almost--almost--interesting as a new branch in the superhero economy. Why shouldn't Tom Hardy and National Treasure Michelle Williams trade the equity they've built for caring about their work into this trash? I don't begrudge them that for a second. I hope they make more money for the sloppy sequels. 122. The Equalizer 2 (Antoine Fuqua)- The first Equalizer was flat and pointlessly long with pedantic dialogue too, but at least it had the Home Depot sequence. This one makes very basic stuff incoherent and dawdles all the way to the end. Your boy is now an expert hacker too? I guess it's too late for Fuqua to start caring about scripts.

121. Mandy (Panos Cosmatos)- I need somebody to explain to me why, dramatically, this is good without something like, "It's so metal! What a midnight movie! Chainsaw fight lol!" If you want to talk about the visuals that are stylized within an inch of reality, then I'll listen. But there's nothing to hold onto dramatically. I think I've developed an overall irritation with revenge films, but this filthy dirge of a movie felt empty and endless by any standard. 120. Fifty Shades Freed (James Foley)- Its intentions are too guileless to upset me, but Fifty Shades Freed uses up the goodwill I sort of had for the first two by tugging the viewer relentlessly through conflict that always seems temporary. Part of the fun has always been how bizarre basic human interactions seem in this universe. (Has anyone ever returned from a vacation to be surprise-promoted?) But this entry expects way too much from its viewer's loyalty. 119. On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke)- There's supposed to be a disconnect to the behavior of the couple in On Chesil Beach, a movie that asks us to harken back to a time when newlyweds were so sexually innocent that they had trouble figuring out how to consummate a marriage. Their fumbling seems foreign to us, which is the point. But what's the excuse for none of the behavior in the movie ringing true to any human experience?

I'm talking about Florence refusing to tell her string quartet that she's engaged because she thinks they'll assume that her marriage will break up the group even though she's sure that it won't. I'm talking about her father, who feels the need to humiliate his son-in-law in tennis because that would prove that he's dominant over the boy in some way that being his employer does not already prove. I'm talking about a plot that literally would not exist if the characters had just engaged in one conversation that it seems like they would have had in the flashbacks, which frame them as a kind of open, reasonably affectionate, easy-going couple. But by all means, McEwan, change that whenever it suits you. 118. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (J.A. Bayona)- I reject the whole premise of this deliberate lowering of stakes that never rises above obligation. To paraphrase a Griffin Newman joke, it makes Jurassic Park 4 look like Jurassic Park 1.

While we're here though: Can I have a movie about the guy who compiled the guest list for the dino auction? I want to see a guy looking at a spreadsheet--or is it an Access file?--and getting to, like, Mark Cuban and weighing the options: "He probably has the $27 million to spare on weaponized recombinant DNA. He would definitely appreciate the wow factor of having his own Indoraptor. But is he more of a neutral evil or a chaotic evil? I guess I'll reserve a seat for him and send the invitation. If he says no, then he says no. Okay, we're still in the C's..."

117. Tag (Jeff Tomsic)- Tag is going to show up on a lot of "worst movies to ever win an Oscar" lists when Jeremy Renner wins an Oscar for it. 116. A-X-L (Oliver Daly)- This is a melodramatic movie about a weaponized robotic dog and the dirtbike kid who befriends it. Nothing wrong with that; a ten-year-old boy might like it, and there aren't enough movies specifically for that audience. But what's weird is how nonchalant the main character is about the whole thing. He immediately starts training this one-of-a-kind "war dog" android and imprints it with his DNA like this is a regular Tuesday. It's one of many things that is just kind of off in this picture.

This being a cheap genre film, you do get treated to those L.A. locations that have been around the block. I think the nondescript complex that houses Craine Industries is also the one from Sneakers and The Lawnmower Man. You know, Craine Industries, the company that is working on a $70 million prototype for the military but, because this is a cheap genre film, seems to have two employees.

I do think there's an interesting movie to be made about motocross. The movie kind of works when it's just about an underdog father and son fixing bikes, before it gets into all of the robot stuff. ADMIRABLE FAILURES

115. The Little Stranger (Lenny Abrahamson)- Dr. Faraday: "Wanna marry me?" Caroline: "Maybe. Do you actually love me?" Dr. Faraday: "Probably not." Caroline: "Hmm, I think I would marry you only as an excuse to go to London to get away from my dying mother and this crumbling house that probably has a ghost." Dr. Faraday: "Oh. Well, glad we're discussing it now because I want to marry you specifically to give me a reason to stay in this crumbling house that probably has a ghost. I'm drawn to it for some reason." Caroline: "Is it because you grew up poor?" Dr. Faraday: "Yes. All dry, cold British stuff ultimately comes down to that.

114. Damsel (David Zellner and Nathan Zellner)- Had I done my research, I wouldn't have watched this Zellner Brothers follow-up to Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, one of my least favorite films of that year. Like that movie, Damsel is a story of two halves, punctuated by a shocking moment that happens halfway through. Unfortunately nothing interesting happens before, and nothing interesting happens after. 113. Suspiria (Luca Guadignino)- This is a movie about duality that gets extended. English, German, and just a sprinkle of French. Six parts and an epilogue. A dual role (and a bit part). Personalities that clash until one pulls ahead. There are ideas here. But, especially considering I don't like the original Suspiria, I didn't find much to hold onto as a visceral experience. It's a long, foreboding sit. Guadagnino knows how to end his movies, but he still doesn't have much to say for the long middle parts. Shout-out to Amazon; I hope that, in some circuitous way, betting on maximalist Italians helps them to sell paper towels or whatever.

112. Early Man (Nick Park)- I still love the Aardman aesthetic, but this material was thin. It's too juvenile for adults and too adult for juveniles. 111. Beirut (Brad Anderson)- The screenplay takes an hour to set up what should have taken twenty minutes. Some of that time is dedicated to developing Hamm's burnt-out alcoholic wheeler-dealer, but he's a character we've seen a hundred times before anyway. Some shorthand would have done some good. Once the plot gets going, it's serviceable, but I was bored by that point. Pike and Hamm need to fire their managers. 110. Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)- I'll admit that I owed the film more attention than I gave it since I was nodding off the whole time, but nothing in the gloomy programmer interested me enough to want to go back.

109. Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence)- Good as a steamy blank check provocation from the director and star--not much else. I'm sure people will take down the easy target of Jen Larry's Russian accent, but they're ignoring just how much she tries in something like this. She is a gargantuan Movie Star who commands the screen, and a lot of that presence comes from the commitment of, say, learning how to ballet dance for what must have been months. She hasn't slept through a performance yet.

I didn't think this endless movie made much sense, especially near its conclusion. Perhaps it's my personal distaste for the way that spy movies introduce major plot points without so much as a music sting to guide you. As soon as anyone says the term "double agent," my brain turns off.

108. Hot Summer Nights (Elijah Bynum)- If you want to direct a music video, just direct a music video. I like all of the actors in this, but the filmmaker has nothing to say. 107. The First Purge (Gerard McMurray)- Even James DeMonaco seems to be admitting that the bloom is off the rose a bit, since he only wrote this entry in the franchise--and his direction is missed in the action scenes. Just enough of the political subtext remains, (The New Founding Fathers get funding from the NRA, and a character uses "pussy-grabbing" as an insult. Thankfully, a Black church getting shot up by men with Iron Cross flags happens off-screen.)

But there are more characters I didn't care about than characters I did care about. Since its prequel setting doesn't reveal much about the world that we didn't already know, the film needed to do a bit more with the survive-the-night scenario that we already saw in the second film.

106. Vox Lux (Brady Corbet)- A movie that, up to and including the last minute, keeps promising something better than it actually is. Everyone here is making...choices… 105. Madeline’s Madeline (Josephine Decker)- I'm glad David Ehrlich liked this as much as he did. There are some intriguing ideas, most notably the suggestion that a mentally unstable person would be better suited for acting than a healthy person. What a debut for Helena Howard as well. But for it to add up to something by the end, I think I needed it to have more dramatic structure--the sort of fall of the Molly Parker character feels invented and insincere--or go all the way into experiment. 104. Shirkers (Sandi Tan)- One of those "you won't believe what happens next" documentaries that positions itself as an example of truth being stranger than fiction. But removed from a festival context, does it ever rise above its logline? Is it really even that odd?

#film #lists #movie reviews

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I have been as of late because I’ve been doing some deep hair treatment stuff with my hair so it’ll help it grow out nice and healthy.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? It varies. Sometimes I just gotta sing along; at least to certain parts.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yes.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Joseph. Yeah, I do miss him and our good times together. It was such a different time it’s weird for me now to think it ever happened because of how different things are now. How different I am.

How many cars are parked at your house right now? Three.

Do you have any Italian ancestry? Possibly. I’d really like to do one of those tests.

Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? I drink mine room temp.

Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No.

Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Yes. One of my cousins did a few years ago in the woods and thankfully was found a week later. It was a very terrifying week. He was of course dehydrated, out of it, and a bit banged up, but ultimately okay.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Hmm. I’m not sure what I’d consider to be the spiciest.

Do you need to talk to someone? Not at the moment.

Is something confusing you at the moment? Not currently, no.

When was the last time you had a real deep chat? A couple days ago.

Who did you last see on webcam? I don’t go on Zoom or Skype or anything like that.

What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? My best friend is my mom, whom I live with, so her pet is also my pet lol, but anyway her name is Princess Leia.

Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? No, cause I don’t lie or sit on the grass; it makes me itchy.

Who’s your favorite Disney character? Alice, Winnie the Pooh, and Eeyore to name a few.

Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Nah.

When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling? It was sometime early on while attending community college, actually, so like 2009 perhaps. My phone had died and I needed to call for a ride and using a payphone was the only option I had at the time. I think they took them out a year or so later, though. I was surprised they even had one cause other than that I hadn’t seen a payphone in quite a long time. Now there’s people who don’t even know what that is and I feel so old lol.

Do you like being kissed on the neck? Yeah.

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later? I haven’t had sex, period.

What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra? Like $20 something. Ideally, even less than that. I don’t understand why they have to be so expensive.

Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list? No. I’ve never had a teacher’s phone number saved in my phone or ever even called a teacher.

Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well? Nah.

What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand? Cancel culture. Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? No.

What is your favorite piece of art you own? The few giraffe paintings I have.

What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? Hmm. I don’t know if I have apologized for anything this month. If I did it wasn’t for anything major I wouldn’t think since I can’t remember.

My favorite color is ______? I have a lot of favorite colors.

I wish I had _____? Good health.

What did you buy today? I haven’t bought anything as of now. I don’t plan to, but we’ll see how it goes.

What about your life concerns you the most? My health.

What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? I’m not very easily offended, I think. <<<

What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? I think it was Loki. There’s a few shows I’m currently watching and others I’m waiting to start their new seasons or come out.

What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? My health changed a lot and I’m having to be a lot more dependent on my family now.

If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? More psych classes, perhaps. I could certainly use a refresher on things.

Name a song you’ve listened to today? I haven’t listened to any music today so far.

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? I did.

Is your mall nice? My local mall is meh. I like to go other ones in nearby cities that are a lot better.

Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? Yeah. I used to get a cherry limeade all the time from there.

Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? Yeah.

How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? They’re delicious.

Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? Yes.

Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? No.

To whom did you last give the finger? That’s not something I do.

What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? Probably the piano.

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No.

Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? No.

Do you know how to do the moon walk? I know the move, but I’m not able to do it.

Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Ha, no cause I don’t.

Onion rings or french fries? I love beer battered onion rings. I don’t like when they’re super hard and crunchy. I love french fries, too. Beer battered french fries are even better.

Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? Pfft, no.

Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? Yes.

Who is the best cook that you know? My parents and brother all have their specialties that are really good.

Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most? I’ve been having 3 meals a day regularly now for the past few months. That’s one positive thing that has come out of this health setback I had. Prior to that, I pretty much never had breakfast and it wasn’t uncommon for my first meal to not be until the evening or even dinnertime.

What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle at all.

Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? Like 7 something.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Everything takes me longer now. Just getting myself to get up and around takes time.

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? None.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a baby.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Most nights when I’m practicing Spanish with my mom when she does her Duolingo.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? My younger brother lives here.

Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? No.

Do you like fried rice? Yeah.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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