#god i haven't drawn in what feels like forever

[poppystain]

𝑆𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 ( 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ) dir. emerald fennell  /  feel  free  to  change  pronouns  and  subjects  as  you  see  fit  !

❛ i wasn’t in love with him. ❜

❛ i loved him. of course! it was impossible not to. ❜

❛ everyone loved you. everyone wanted to be around you. ❜

❛ i protected him. i was honest with him. ❜

❛ it's just you and me, mate. and the girl with agoraphobia, but she's in her room. ❜

❛ are you telling me you spent your summer reading the bible? ❜

❛ oh no no. not, uh, friend. more an admirer. from afar. ❜

❛ so you're picking apart the style my essay instead of the substance? ❜

❛ it's not what you argue but how. ❜

❛ fuck, that's kind. are you serious? ❜

❛ i don't smoke. ❜

❛ he’s been expelled from almost every school in england for sucking off the teachers. ❜

❛ there aren’t any pictures of me as a kid. ❜

❛ you look different. ❜

❛ harsh! that is so harsh! you’re such a snob! ❜

❛ only rich people can afford to be this filthy. ❜

❛ do you think he'll be jealous? ❜

❛ no, i'm not like you. this is all i have. ❜

❛ this feels a bit fucking stupid now to be honest. ❜

❛ honestly? i don't think i'll ever go home again. ❜

❛ just be yourself! they'll love you! ❜

❛ everybody just goes to ruin, i suppose. ❜

❛ but darling you're kind about everyone, you can't be trusted. ❜

❛ i have a complete and utter horror of ugliness. ❜

❛ because you're a terrible person? ❜

❛ daddy always said that i'd end up at the bottom of the thames. ❜

❛ fucking hell you gave me a fright. ❜

❛ i wanted to have a look at the moon. it's nearly full. do you know what that means? ❜

❛ i'm cold blooded. we're all cold blooded, haven't you noticed? ❜

❛ because you’re so fucking beautiful. ❜

❛ you're in your see-through nightdress underneath my window. ❜

❛ i could just eat you. ❜

❛ lucky for you i'm a vampire. ❜

❛ bring on the slutty fairies. ❜

❛ it's just fucking cringe, mate. ❜

❛ what a little shit-stirrer. ❜

❛ it’s just so disappointing. you're just another one of his toys. ❜

❛ alright, fuck this. i'm getting a drink. ❜

❛ are you going to behave from now on? ❜

❛ i mean, you’re a fucking liar… why would you lie? ❜

❛ ...i just wanted to be your friend. ❜

❛ you can’t ignore me forever. ❜

❛ can you fuck off and bother somebody else? ❜

❛ you really do notice everything don't you? ❜

❛ you can’t just throw me away. ❜

❛ i just gave you what you wanted. like everyone else does! ❜

❛ everyone puts on a show for you. so i’m sorry if my performance wasn’t good enough. ❜

❛ i just need you to understand how much i fucking love you. ❜

❛ i'm still the same person. ❜

❛ i don't know what you are. but i do know you make my fucking blood run cold. ❜

❛ it was the end of everything. ❜

❛ none of us wants your bloody american feelings! ❜

❛ your politeness is so grating. do you know that? ❜

❛ you're always skulking around. weaving your spider web. ❜

❛ i think you're a moth. quiet. harmless. drawn to shiny things. batting up against the window… just desperate to get in. ❜

❛ you've made your holes in everything. you'll eat us from the inside out. ❜

❛ you ate him right up. and you licked the fucking plate.❜

❛ have you been happy? ❜

❛ i loved you. by god, i loved you. but sometimes i... hated you.❜

#prompts #sentence memes #sentence starters #rp ask meme #rp meme #rp starter #inbox memes #inbox prompts #saltburn

[dotster001]

Diasomnia request: Reader was born in Titan time (before the gods. When the earth was still very fresh) reader's father had committed a terrible crime, which is why he was cursed to never die, to be punished forever for his crime. However, he managed to get the curse passed to Reader. How do the Diasomnia people react to the fact that Reader can never die? And that they have experienced everything that has happened so far (wars,etc) (you can do later the other dorms too if you want)

(thank you for your patience boo! I hope you like it! It's a lil angsty, and I definitely have never had existential crises like these 😅 still haven't fixed the silver pic, not sorry)

CW: angst, little to no comfort, discussions of death

At first he's happy. You are like him! You've lived a long time, and seen so many things! No wonder he was drawn to you!

Then he thinks of the loneliness he has dealt with. Sure he has Lilia, and he has Sebek and Silver now, but he remembers people who are long gone, people he has outlived. He doesn't want anyone to feel like him, and now he realizes that you are like him, he wants to help fill the void.

If you want to talk about your experiences, he'll listen quietly and just be a firm presence for you. If you don't want to talk about it, he'll make new memories with you.

Technically, you are older than him. And you know what? He's okay with that. Give him a new perspective. It's the only way to be a well rounded king.

Is he thinking about how you being an old immortal soul will make you a good co-ruler…maybe.

Same bro.

A truth that Lilia has had to learn over the years is that existence is a burden, and humans are not meant to carry it for eternity. Humans are meant to die. To rest. To move on.  You must be so tired.

Like Malleus, if you want to talk about it he will listen. He'll also share his own experiences, as a general, a father, a servant, any part of his life to make you feel less alone.

He also gives you his tips for "staying young". Pranking young impressionable children is his favorite tip, but ask him about his diet plans. He promises you won't die 😊 only because you can't.

Ah, like his father. He can't really comprehend what that's like. But he has seen the exhaustion pass his father's eyes before, so he knows it must be a lot to handle. 

He tries to imagine what it would be like if his own father passed his immortality on to him. How much would his heart break? How would he feel being all alone? 

He doesn't really feel comfortable bringing it up himself. Knowing that he is human and will die one day, he tries not to think about his immortal family and friends who will be sad when he's gone. But if you want to talk about it yourself, he'll try to stay awake. It's not his fault and he's very sorry.

He'll make the most of the time he has with you. He'll give you lots of happy memories of him, so that when the time comes, letting go will be easier. 

He is young, but he is fae. He sees his future in you.

He has also gained a lot of respect for you for living the life you've lived. Taking on a punishment that wasn't yours, living through wars, recessions, traumas, losses, and everything in between. You will never be a weak human in his mind ever again.

SHARE YOUR WISDOM, OH WISE HUMAN! TELL HIM TALES OF YOUR ADVENTURES SO THAT HE TOO MAY BE A GREAT ADVENTURER!

Sebek, they're not deaf. 

He has people in his life that will fade with time.  Can you give him advice? Can you be a hand to hold?

....

Tag list-@lleoll @shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus x reader #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland malleus #twst malleus #malleus draconia x reader #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia x reader #silver twisted wonderland #silver #twst silver #silver x reader #twisted wonderland sebek #sebek zigvolt x reader #twst sebek #sebek zigvolt #sebek x reader

[aetheternity]

You tell them to stop

Synopsis: Things are getting hot and heavy but you beg them to stop for whatever reason. How do they react.

CW: Adult situations but no actual smut.

A/N: I'm writing for one of the tall men, guys! I haven't done that in forever!

Characters: Tighnari, Cyno, Albedo, Diluc

Albedo

"Breathe for me, Name." He slowly pulls you into a sitting position. "As deeply as you can." He counts down from three. His hand massaging your back in small, slow circles.

"3, 2.." He demonstrates his own breath a bit shaky as he exhales. He doesn't let up with the relaxing words until your breathing returns to normal.

"Sorry Bedo.." You huff "I don't know what came over me."

"You have no reason to apologize, I overwhelmed you. I should've considered your feelings more before we'd done this. I could've asked for our safe word as well."

"No.. I mean.. are you ok at least?"

"Me?" He questions

You place your warm hand flat against his bare chest. "You looked pretty spooked there for a second too."

He reaches out for your hand flipping it palm up to press kisses against. "Let's resume in the morning. Hopefully we'll both be more at ease then." He sighs

He'd actually given you far more space than you really needed. Almost a week after the incident the two of you were finally back in the mood.

"Please take the lead tonight. I want for the two of us to enjoy this as much as possible." He says, lying on his back with his hands lightly touching your clothed waist.

"I love you, Bedo."

"Promise me you'll use the safe word if needed?"

"I promise."

"I love you too."

Cyno

He climbs off of you, pulling the blankets up around you and tucking your body in as you pant, tears welling in the corners of your eyes.

"Take it easy now. We don't need to do anything else tonight." He brushes strands of hair back from your eyes and behind your ears. "Just relax for me, please." His words so pleading with every soft kiss atop your forehead.

"Sorry, Cy.." You hum softly beneath him.

"Why are you sorry? Don't apologize for your feelings." He traces your cheek with his thumb. A low exhale retreating off his lips. "You need rest." He starts to leave but you snatch his wrist, holding it firmly.

"Sleep beside me." When you notice the shift of his eye you add. "I promise we won't attempt anything else tonight."

He grumbled low within his throat and when he climbed in beside you he made sure to keep the smallest bit of distance.

"Goodnight Cy."

"Goodnight." He whispered back

If you'd waited on Cyno's libido who knows when the two of you would've been back to your routine. Though unlike how your sessions usually were. Cyno was far more gentle in every touch he'd given you. From kisses to tracing his fingertips along your back. He asked you if you were still ok the deeper you two went.

"Was it.. good for you?" He questioned, tugging you deep into his arms.

"Amazing as always Cy." Your fingertips slide stray hairs back from his face. "Don't worry so much. I'm ok now I promise."

"You can't be too safe." He shakes his head. You simply kiss him, hugging him so so much tighter. How the world had granted you with such a sweet, adorable boyfriend you may never know. But you will forever be thanking the gods.

Diluc

His first instinct is to apologize. He tugs his pants back up as you lay in bed catching your breath. For a minute he's frozen there, staring down at you as you hold your face. Before he knows it his body falls into auto pilot reaching out for one of your hands. He holds it so gently like he fears you'll break. Brushing his thumb over your knuckles as you relax. He kisses the back and palm and grasps you with both hands.

"Diluc.."

"I don't know what came over me tonight but it will never happen again. I was too caught up it seems." He quickly assures you.

His voice makes your throat ache. The defeat very much present and very much crushing. You pull yourself up, tugging him into your chest until you hear a long drawn out sigh fall off his lips.

"Would you like some tea? Maybe some coffee? Just name it."

"I just want you to stay here with me." You hum, rocking him gently. Before long you start to hear tiny grunts and you know he's successfully drifted off.

You don't even hesitate to catch him when he's almost finished working for the day. Sliding into your spot atop his lap.

"What are you doing?" He questions

"I want to make it up to you." His belt buckle clicks but he doesn't stop you. "For what happened the other day."

"There's no need to do that. Besides I have work to finish. If you're really up for it again let's resume later."

When you pull yourself off his lap he repositions fixing his clothing and returning to the papers admist his desk. You begin to head back upstairs but before you can go, "Name."

You turn in your stride. He wordlessly pats his knees and you sprint back. Kissing his cheek as you lie across his legs. "If you really want to go for a round, I'd prefer if you were the one on top tonight."

"Yes Master Diluc.." You can't help but tease.

Tighnari

He's honestly shaking a little at the pitch of your voice when you beg him to stop. He scoots off of you almost skittishly. He leaves the room as you begin to wind down returning a couple minutes later with a glass of water. He places it on the dresser next to you tugging the blanket up over your shoulder.

"I'm right here, I'm sorry things went too far tonight."

You shift onto your back. "I didn't mean to freak out like that.. I'm sorry.."

"No, I didn't take into account the change in your body language. I should've been more careful." He swipes a thumb across the edges of your eyes. "Get some rest, Darling. Don't think about anything else tonight." He presses a kiss against your forehead, rubbing a thumb over the back of your hand.

The next time things are starting to heat up. He finds himself a bit more hesitant. How could he not be. He'd never done anything that made you act the way you did that night. He hadn't made anyone act that way towards him ever actually.

"Let's.. take a step back tonight." He proposes

"Oh archons, I messed everything up.. Nari I'm-"

"Stop it, I ensure safety to all that traverse these forests. My entire life is dedicated to this, what kind of boyfriend would I be if your safety wasn't above all that?" He pulls you deeper into his arms. "Stop worrying about it. I'm fine the only thing I was worried about that night was you."

"You're seriously not mad?"

He pulls his head from the crook of your neck. "Before you get to that point, next time I want you to reach out for my hand and squeeze it. Squeeze it as hard as you can so I can react and slow down, please."

"I promise. Thank you, Nari."

#I wrote this entire thing and Albedo's line asking reader to take the lead makes me wanna drain every drop of whatever substance comes out #of his cock #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #albedo x reader #albedo headcanons #cyno x reader #cyno headcanons #diluc x reader #diluc headcanons #tighnari x reader #tighnari headcanons

[dramaqueeenamby]

Easy | T'Challa Udaku

A/N: My god, BP2 was such an emotional ride. This is a product of all of the emotions I'm still reeling from. I have not written for BP in probably a year+, so I apologize for the rustiness.

Warnings: ANGST.

Words: 3K

You can find my other works HERE.

++++++++++++DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER++++++++++++

-----------

Loving him was easy. 

Maybe too easy.

Maybe things would have been easier if he wasn’t so easy. So easy to admire, so easy to be drawn to, so easy to feel an ungodly amount of love and adoration for. 

But maybe that was just T’Challa. With his beautiful smile and brilliant mind, few paths seemed to lead to some place loveless. He was the embodiment of attraction, from the way he spoke, to the way he conducted himself, to the way he loved.

Yeah….easy seemed to be unavoidable. 

A small smile makes its way to your face as you reminisce on your first meeting all those years ago. 

“Would you just tell me already?”

Nakia simply looks over at you with that same bored yet tempted expression. “And ruin the surprise? Never.”

She laughs, clearly amused by your frustration, by the lack of patience for which you’ve still struggled to fully comprehend. 

You’d just completed your War Dog training and had been assigned to Nakia, to shadow her on a few missions and prove that you were ready for your own assignment. It was a perfect partnership, as Nakia matched your wit and sense of humor, both of which had definitely gotten you in trouble more times than you’d like to admit.

“How about a hint?”

“How about no?”

Your eyes narrowed as you nudged her. “You are enjoying this.”

“Somewhat,” she admits. You share another look before giggling together when a firm voice from behind interrupts your moment. 

“Forgive me, ladies.”

“You are not forgiven,” your response is natural and instantaneous, a small smirk playing on your face. “Matter of fact, you should know better than to sneak on two lad–” The smirk drops and your ridicule is cut short by the dark eyes and curious gaze of the crowned prince who stands before you. 

If Nakia was amused before, she was delighted now. You can feel her eyes still focused on you as she bumps you with her hip. “Y/N, you didn’t finish your statement. How rude.”

Your glare could burn two holes into the princess as she shakes her head and returns her focus onto Prince T’Challa. 

“Yes, T’Challa?” It’s in the most random, unexpected moments that you remember while Nakia is your friend, she is also royalty. Perhaps it’s something you should commit to memory, especially given how you’ve just completely disregarded all protocol for the future ruler of Wakanda. 

Finally able to pick your eyeballs off the ground, you find that T’Challa’s gaze is pinpointed on you. “Nakia is correct. It is improper to finish your statement…..”

He trails off, and you realize he’s searching for your name. Slightly dejected and still embarrassed, you answer, hastily adding a “your grace” onto the end. For good measure and respect.

He simply makes a sound before repeating your name. It feels so strange hearing your name on his mouth, strange but also….right. Shifting your stance, you’re thankful when he finally reirects his focus to Nakia. Memory of what was said between them was lost years ago, but the initial butterflies in your stomach upon your first meeting have always stayed with you. 

You pray to Bast they always will. 

Rolling your shoulders, your fingers dance across the fabric on your skin. It’s a piece you’d acquired since moving to Haiti. Your fingertips stroke the intricate pattern, and just like that, you’re hit with memories of laying in bed, naked, a sheen of sweat covering your back while the same fingers dance across his chest.

There are too many times that this occurred, but it’s somewhat easier to recall one of the later moments. 

The silence rattles you, not because you can’t handle it. It’s because you know underneath it lies turmoil, It’s present in the way he entered you, rough, desperate, lost. Lovemaking with T’Challa was always anything but that, maybe the first of them at times, but never the latter two. 

Your hands flatten against his chest, gently curving inward to draw his attention. He doesn’t move to look down, but you know he’s listening. 

“Talk to me,” you implore, licking your lips. “There’s so much more room out here, my love.”

He says nothing but you feel the scoff underneath his strong chest. “There is already too much out here.”

“Nay,” you lean to kiss the underside of his jaw. “You underestimate the space, kumkani.”

Finally, allowing you a glance of his dejected expression, he counters, “and you underestimate the weight, Isithandwa.”

Sighing, your hand travels to his face. “You didn’t know, T’Challa. None of us did.” If you’re being honest with yourself, it’s still nearly incomprehensible to believe that King T’Chaka was responsible for the murder of his own brother as well as the abandonment of his nephew, T’Challa’s cousin, the man who seemed hellbent on revenge. 

But not for poor reasons.

Still, the fact that so much of this falls on T’Challa, who has barely had time to mourn the loss of his father, your heart aches for the pain he refuses to show but you know he feels. 

“And we cannot change the past,” you continue, though vaguely unsure of yourself. T’Challa has always been the better of you two when it came to wording things in a way that was equally beautiful as it was helpful. “But, we can make decisions now that will help us create a better future.”

“Built on what? Lies.”

“No….” Again, your hand movement shifts to his hard abdomen, as your fingers offer comforting, circular movements. “No, my love, the lies stop with you. You will be the change that will usher in a new era for Wakanda, a better era, for us all.”

Instead of the incoherent sounds you usually receive, his hand on your back tugs you just a little closer. “You have such unyielding faith in me.”

You sit on his words for a few seconds before answering thoughtfully. “I’ve questioned many things in my life, T’Challa, but not one of them has ever been you. Not your ability to rule, to protect, not even to love.” A beat. “Now I’ve maybe questioned your fashion choices at one point or another, but Shuri’s influence will hopefully start to rub off on you.”

A small yelp escapes your mouth as he flips positions so that he’s hovering over you. Your gazes lock as he lowers himself, stealing the gentlest of kisses before resting his forehead against yours. Your hands cradle his cheeks as he kisses both of your palms before shifting downward and laying against your chest. Your arms cocoon him, protecting him, offering a solace only found within your safe embrace.

“I love you, T’Challa. Never forget that.”

You once believed that the five years without T’Challa, having lost him to the Snap, was the most difficult thing you’d ever had to endure.

Clearly….clearly you were wrong.

It starts with a cough. 

Nothing persistent or chronic, more inconsistent and light than anything. Probably nothing major enough to raise an eyebrow from anyone else. But you knew T’Challa, and you knew the many benefits of the heart shaped herb.

He didn’t get sick, and more importantly, the black panther didn’t get sick. 

A small part of you pretended that it wasn't an issue. You were comforted by the fact that he’d been ripped away from you for five years and returned. What more heartache could possibly outweigh that?

But then the cough was no longer as infrequent, and along with it came a sort of dullness in his normally bright eyes. He seemed….weary.

You knew the weight of returning after being gone for so long weighed on him, but this….this was different.

It was also concerning, as he would come and visit at least once a month, the two of you no longer able to steal moments in time as often as you once did. You were both older now with even more responsibilities than ever before. So when he came to visit two times in a row and you noticed the same dullness, your concern definitely spiked.

It was late, and the two of you were just getting into bed. He’d only just pulled back the blankets when you finally asked.

“How long do you plan to pretend that everything is alright?”

He stands upright and his jaw ticks. “What are you talking about?”

Deflection. T’Challa never deflects. Your concern increases.

Moving across the room, you stand directly in front, looking up at him. “You know exactly what I am talking about.” When he says nothing, your hand lifts to his cheek. “Please talk to me. I am worried.”

“It’s nothing.”

“What is it, T’Challa?” Moving closer, you lay yourself against his chest, mindful of how he hesitates to reciprocate your embrace. “I need you to be honest with me.” A beat. “Or maybe I just need you to be honest with yourself.”

His body tenses underneath the weight of your own as well as your words. And finally, he answers, “something has been…..plaguing me.” Looking up, he immediately goes into comfort mode. “It is nothing to worry about, Isithandwa.”

His eyes betray him, and you can’t help how your own water. “How close are you to a cure?” His silence is the answer you don’t want to hear. It’s an answer that is not the security of promise and hope that you need in this moment. 

“Y/N–”

“What-what does Shuri think?” More silence. Your eyes naturally widen. “You have not told her?” His lack of an answer adds another layer of panic as she painfully realizes, “you have not told anyone….”

“There is no need to worry anyone, Y/N.”

“But I am worried, T’Challa!” You whisper harshly, mindful of your volume as not to disturb or let alone awake the last person who needs to be hearing this conversation. “Do you not think I have not noticed how long this has lasted? You have been sick for weeks, months maybe, and if there is no cure in sight, then who is to say you will get better?”

He shakes his head, cupping your face. “Aye, listen to me.” The tears are falling, and his thumb goes to brush them away. “You once told me that you have never doubted me. Do you remember this? Hmm?”

Sniffling, you manage to nod and murmur, “yes.”

Relieved, he tucks you into him, his chin resting on the top of your head. “So trust me now, Y/N. Have faith.”

His words still haunt you, still bring the sting of tears to your eyes and the sharp flash of pain in your chest. Realizing that the man you love has limited time left on earth is a pain like none other. But watching him gradually decline, knowing that there’s nothing you can do….that is a hurt too explosive to even describe.

For his sake, you both acted normal. Same smiles, just a little dimmer. Same laughter, just an octave lighter. Same love, not a damn thing different. Some days you wonder if that was for the better or for the worse. Was it staying and operating out a state of denial? Could you have maybe delayed it, prevented it even if there was more of a sense or urgency?

Because even when you both sat him down, when you were finally honest about T’Challa’s condition, about where his path was leading him, it still felt bitterly hopeful. Like it was a maybe instead of a definitely.

Maybe this will happen, instead of this is going to happen.

But you also knew this wasn’t a decision that you could make by yourself. And truth be told, it wasn’t even a decision T’Challa could make, which disgusted you. How could a man like T’Challa, your sweet, kind love be subjected to such a cruel ending? An ending so unbecoming of the majestic man that he was. 

This is when the anger kicks in, the rage at having him taken from you not once, not twice, but three times. Why the hell did you all have to be dealt such a vile card? What travesties could you have done, could he have done to deserve this ending? 

In the final weeks, days even, items were dropped or were thrown, tempers were short, clearly, and interactions felt so much more heavy. You still beat yourself up for being so consumed by your own emotions that maybe you weren’t present enough for him when he needed you the most. 

That also happens a lot, that feeling of it not being enough. Not enough of him. Not enough of you all. Not enough time. 

Not enough of…..anything. 

And then that ceremony, the damn goodbye that he decided would be just for them, that was the moment you realized that T’Challa wouldn’t be returning for another visit. This was the last time, and it broke you. Of that night, you don’t remember much, just the absolute agony and grief that tore through your entire being. It’s such a blur, but the pain felt is a constant. 

That last goodbye…..even reflecting back on it is too much to bear, too much to try to swallow. Maybe someday you’ll be able to dwell on it….but now….now is too soon, much too soon.

What does stand out is the days following the notice you received that he’d passed on to be with the ancestors.

Washing the dishes was the last thing you wanted to do, but the dishwasher was giving an error code, and you couldn’t bring yourself to seek out someone who could fix it. Especially when that someone you would usually call is no longer available. 

Wiping at your face with the back of your hand had become a habit, one that had caused the skin on your face to become tender, harsh even from the constant friction. But the final straw was dropping the glass plate in your hand onto the floor, shattering all over the tile. 

You cursed, leaning down to gather the pieces only to not pay close enough attention, accidentally slicing the palm of your hand.

Hissing loudly, you lifted your arm, observing the blood leave the open wound. You do nothing to stop it, watching it continue to spill, even aiding in the process as you apply pressure around the area. It’s a fruitless effort though, because the physical pain is nothing in comparison to your emotional pain. 

Overcome with that same emotion, you bring yourself to your feet and storm out the door, running toward the beachfront. 

T’Challa always loved the water and wanted you two to be away from everyone else, both for your comfort as well as your privacy and overall safety. 

Falling to your knees, your hands brace against the grainy sand as a loud, guttural, visceral scream erupts from the deepest part of your soul. But, it’s not enough. So you go again. And again. And again. Continuing to scream until your voice breaks, as does your resolve.

Now on your side, sobs rake through your entire body, you wails bouncing off the waves of the water. 

It’s both comforting and suffocating. A release and a limitation. A blessing and a curse.

“How-how could you leave me?” The question is posed to no one, to everyone, to anyone who will listen. “How could you leave us!” The interrogative nature quickly transitions to a demanding tone, a plea, a beg for mercy. “You said-you said to have faith, and I–I did.” You continue to wail, shaking your head. “And where are you now? WHERE ARE YOU, T’CHALLA?”

Stomach throbbing and eyes burning, your vision is blurred by pain, but you manage to twist your body when small but firm arms wrap around you and a body is pressed against yours. The familiar smell of shea and cocoa butter fills your nostrils as you look down and nearly cave again.

“I’m right here, mama,” your son’s words hit you deeper than anything you could have imagined. And another wave of tears overcomes you as he repeats himself and holds you even tighter. “I’m right here.” 

You’re not sure if Challa, as both you and T’Challa took to calling him even when he was still in your womb, will ever be able to fully comprehend the depth and importance of his words. His comfort in that moment pulling you from a darkness you’d never encountered. A darkness you’re not sure you would have been able to save yourself from without him. 

It’s been roughly a year since that night, that evening where your greatest blessing saved you from your greatest battle. And every day is a struggle, there’s always moments where you find yourself encountering a memory, missing a touch, yearning for that love.

But then Challa will smile at you, and you’re reminded that death…is never the end. 

You remember that loving T’Challa was always so easy because it was inevitable. 

“You’re always with me, my love,” you speak upward, smiling softly. “And you always will be.” 

#black panther #black panther: wakanda forever #bp2 #black panther fanfiction #black panther fanfic #T'Challa #T'Challa x reader #T'Challa x you #T'Challa Udaku #Black Panther x reader

[blindmagdalena]

Hii, how are you? I hope you're doing well! If you haven't done it yet can I request Homelander losing his powers (forever or just temporarily, it's up to you) and y/n helping him learn to do normal human things? And if possible could you add the angst of Homie being confused as to why she's still with him now that he isn't a god/hero anymore?

They're gone. Flight, strength, lasers, invulnerability. Everything that made him who he is... is gone. Homelander—can he even call himself that anymore?—feels his own mortality like a crushing weight. He's become hyperaware of the limitations of his own body, which feels more and more like a cage every day he spends in it. He's too tired, too frail, too fucking weak to do anything.

His powers weren't the only thing to disappear. No longer of use to Vought, and without the power to hold them under his thumb, he's lost that, too. The Seven. Even Ashley laughed in his fucking face. The man in the mirror, the real Homelander, perhaps, won't speak to him anymore. Everyone has left him. Except you.

He stands now in your home, dressed down in civilian clothing. He feels stripped down in them, exposed, itchy all over, but he can't bring himself to wear the suit. It feels like a costume now, a cruel mockery of what he has lost. You're showing him how to fold the laundry you taught him how to run. Your voice is a distant hum over the ringing in his ears, his gaze distant. He watches you fold the shirt, understanding, but when he moves to replicate your action, his hands feel numb and clumsy. He can't get the seams to meet the way you do. "Good job," he hears you say. John scoffs. "Don't fucking patronize me," he says, frustration laced through both his tone and his body language, drawn as tight as a stressed elastic, and just as likely to snap. From the corner of his eye, he sees you flinch, taken aback by his words. It makes him sick, but he can't stop himself. You're the only one. The only one who has stood by his side, and yet he feels a burning fury churning his gut. He looks at you properly, jaw tight, before he wads up the shirt and whips it to the floor. "Why are you even here?" He demands, closing in on you. You stand your ground, a shirt held up between your hands like some flimsy shield. "This make you feel good? Seeing me down on my fucking knees, stumbling through life like a fucking nobody? I was a hero, goddamn it! I gave this country my fucking life, and what do I have to show for it? Huh? You tell me! You tell me what any of it was fucking for!" "John, no. No. It's because I love you," you say, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. He hates the look in your wide eyes. It isn't fear, it's worse; it's pity. He can't hear your heart anymore. He can't comfort himself with the hard evidence that you aren't lying to him. Fuck, he misses the sound of your heart so much.

"Don't," he whispers, expression twisting, wounded. "I love you, John," you say again, as if you can feel he doesn't believe it. "I'm here because I love you."

"There's nothing fucking left of me," he hisses, grabbing hold of your shoulders. You used to feel like ceramic in his hands, delicate, as if he were always at risk of shattering you. Now, he can only feel your strength. You drop the shirt and lift your hands to cup his elbows, supporting the way he leans into you. "That's not true," you tell him ardently, the conviction in your voice unraveling him. "My god, John, you're... You're so much more than you realize," you say, voice catching with the sheer swell of earnest emotion flooding it. It twists like a knife in his chest. "I love you more than you'll ever know." "You fell in love with a hero," he says like a counterpoint, voice fracturing. "A fucking god." "I fell in love with you," you refute, impassioned. You shake him lightly by his arms, desperately willing him to hear you. "It was never the powers that made you my hero. It was always the man behind them." John makes a noise like you've gutted him, sinking to his knees. You go down too easily, ever eager to follow where he leads, and pull his head into the crook of your neck, cradling him. He wastes no time pulling you bodily into his lap, arms wrapping around you with urgency, holding so tightly that super strength or not, he may crush you. Despite his best efforts, a sob wrenches free from his throat. Like a domino, it knocks out another, and then another, until he's weeping openly in your arms, rocking back and forth. You cradle the back of his head, hushing him softly. You stroke his back, making him feel small in your arms. "I feel so fucking empty," he manages to grit out, breath catching on a broken breath in. "They couldn't wait. They couldn't wait to get rid of me."

"I'm sorry," you whisper. He can hear the tears you're fighting back. "I'm so, so sorry, John." You stay like that for as long as he needs you, carding your fingers through his hair as his shoulders shake through raw, unfiltered sobs. There are moments that he feels close to death, unable to breathe, lightheaded. Things he's never had to feel before. The weight of the world is bearing down on him, and for the first time in his life, he hasn't the strength to withstand it. But he has you. Eventually, exhaustion begins to set in, robbing him of the energy to weep. You hold him through every second of it, soothing whispers of love, devotion, adoration. Your words sink into him like something tangible, and if only briefly, the vest void inside him feels lesser. In this moment, pressed against your chest, John hears a familiar comfort. Your heart beats steadily in his ear. He grimaces, flexing his hold on you, and exhales a shaky, relieved breath. "Don't ever leave me," he murmurs, eyes closed. "I won't," you swear. "Not ever." He's sure that your heart doesn't waiver. He prays that it never does.

#sorry in advance i leaned way more into the angst than the 'homie learns normal stuff' fghjkl #homelander x reader #homelander x you #angst #my writing #ask and you shall receive #depowered homelander

[hotxcheeto]

HI NEVY! can i request an enemies with benefits relationship with Vi from Arcane if you can? your writing is honestly incredible, thank you :))

━ 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐖/ 𝐕𝐈

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Vi  x G/N!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, descriptions of smut, mentions of insults, angsty undertones if you read between the lines, not much fluff but it's there if you squint

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Ik we talked behind the scenes but honestly I haven't felt the best that's why it took me so long but here it finally is!! ily!! thank you sm!!

REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED

hehe

She's a dick let's be real here

love her but my god she's one cocky bastard that will stand on your last nerve and play jump rope with it

Walking across it like a performer at a carnival

it started with a job that had gone sideways, upways, downways and around the corner

You were both frustrated and pissed off

You guys didn't like each other, not one bit

Like two adults feuding on the playground

It was childish

Ripping each others heads off while you walked back to the room you had to share

Then you were ripping each others clothes off

It was hot, very hot and probably the best sex you'd ever had

But you didn't tell her that

And Vi sure as hell didn't tell you that because yes, it was the same for her

You promised yourself it was a one time thing

One time

Two times –

three?

Alright maybe four

Then it became a every few days thing, when one or both of you were just so worked up you needed an outlet

But you didn't like each other, throwing insult after insult at each other mixed with some teasing while out on jobs

It was hell

Winding each other up to have fun with it later

Everyone could feel the tension between you both

Even if they didn't know what was happening between you and Vi

The tension was bad

I mean you could slash it with a knife and chop it into pieces and feed it to your kids for dinner

It's hard for anyone to work around you both

That's why you only work together

How romantic that you hate each other

But as time progresses so do your insults and maybe you don't hate her as much

The benefits mean a lot, and it also means that sometimes you yell your problems at each other like it's free therapy hour

It helps, but neither of you will admit it nor think about how you're spilling your guts to each other

Vi doesn't like you and you don't like her, it's easier talking to someone you hate than someone you love

At least you're expecting the judgement and it doesn't hurt

Or... that's what you keep telling yourselves

It's steamy, you won't say it's not

You kiss hard, you leave marks to remind each other of the nights activities, you make sure its drawn out and it's rough

But it's not passionate – you're crazy

With her you don't really hook up with anyone else, don't need to because you have that woman wrapped around your finger

Even if she hates you

Say one word, and she's in your bed because you both are worked up a little too much

But it's not anything deep, just a few one and dones, until you're both looking for a stress reliever, then your each others first thought

Huh

how strange is that

A/n: hey what's everybody it's Cr1TiKaL

if you get that ily forever lmaoooo

aLSO that has no pertaining to this at all or the sender I'm just tired because it's 3am

#vi x yn #vi x reader #vi x y/n #vi x you #vi smut #arcane smut #arcane fanfic #arcane vi #vi arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane netflix #arcane #nevy writes

[zedleaked]

Spamton for the character ask game! :3

favourite thing about them

God I love his chaotic energy,, his design is so easy to draw fucked up and silly its great... Again I think I like guys who look silly but are secretly fucked up and depressed its wonderful

least favourite thing about them

The fact that he probably wont ever appear again... guess this is what fanfiction is for

favourite line

"YOU WON'T BECOME A [Big Shot] WITHOUT TAKING A FEW [fights]. I HAVE BEEN [beat] ON, [stepped] ON, [$#*] ON, [$#*]D UP, [$#**]D DOWN, [shaken] UP, [stirred] AROUND, [cracked] LIKE AN [egg], HAD [sand] KICKED IN MY [eyes], HAD MY [nose] METAPHORICALLY [ripped off], [kissed] ON THE [mouth], [tucked] INTO BED, DRANK MY [orange juice], FELL DOWN THE [stairs], AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I STILL GOT UP [in the morning], AT [2 A.M.], TO GO DIRECTLY BACK TO [bed]!"

brOTP

Kris and Spamton are the best friends forever you can't convince me otherwise,, they need to cope with the fact that they are doomed by the narrative together... Plus I like Spamton being the one that talks a lot and Kris being the one that listens :3

OTP

I love Swatchton... even though I haven't drawn much because Swatch is a pain in the ass to draw... Swatch just having to deal with Spamton's chaotic ass is so funny to me,, I love all the aus just about Swatch finding Spamton and taking him in... please... feed me... ouhahgha... Like Swatch may feel that they have some kind of debt to pay because they've been the one kicking him out of the mansion all the time...

nOTP

That being said shipping Spamton with literally any of the minors is a big no I will find you and place explosive pipis in your pants

random headcanon

If bro drank his tea [the one pink addison sells] he would almost die,, bro hates himself that much...

unpopular opinion

My guy is selfish as hell and he would not do a good deed if it did not benefit him in the long run,, he may have a soft spot but sometimes people forget he's evil and helped two teenagers kill everyone so he could take over Cyber City

song I associate with them

$4.99 by Jack Stauber... LITERALLY THE SPAMTON SONG... it's just him,, the ad cut ins and everything

favourite picture of them

torture...

#ask #deltarune #spamton #spamton g spamton #not art

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Candy Coated [Chapter Five] Happy People [Buddha]

A/n: I apologize that this chapter took forever to put out. I've been juggling stories, so please be patient with me. I'm not going to abandon this. The artwork above was drawn by Somanoko on AO3. You can imagine the reader however you like; this is their version of the reader gifted to me.

Tag list: @useless-potatho, @tojibreedingme, @quinloki, @yingxian, @2lottie2, @lunas-nova, @anduinandwrathionlover, @tiredfairy, @the-queen-of-sorrows , @alientee, @lawlietliet, @69your-best-night-mare69

Warning(s): conflicted emotions, female reader, beanboozled jelly beans.

No Minors Allowed!!

It's a strange sight to behold, witnessing rain in the God Realms. Not because rain is uncommon but because it's something you don't expect to see, not in a place like this; a place sometimes rumored to be flawless. 

Standing inside the temple, looking out at the village, you raise an arm just outside the boundaries of the roof. Cool rain pours onto your skin, inciting goosebumps. You stand there for a moment, enough to reminisce about your former home, then you saunter out into it. Despite how dreary it is, something about the rain soothes you this afternoon.

Is this how I feel? Or how Shaka feels? 

For a week since the unexpected trip to the ghostland, you have experienced a few unexpected emotions swirling around in your body; tranquility, happiness, fondness; the latter you are sure spawns from you. 

It's strange. You are sure the tether is to blame and since these emotions have arisen, you have felt a bit frightened at how much of yourself is being taken over by them. How much of you is left? And is Buddha experiencing the same thing? You honestly have no clue. 

An unexpected light suddenly catches your attention just out of reach. It almost appears to be materializing out of nowhere. Then a flash so bright forces you to cover your eyes. You groan in pain, having to take a minute to rub them before your vision clears, revealing two familiar faces you weren't expecting to see so soon.

"You almost blinded me," you utter. 

Is that flash necessary?

Göll quickly apologizes, but Brunhilde is quick to change the subject. 

"We came to speak to the Buddha about something," Brunhilde answered. "It's an urgent matter."

You hum in response. 

"I think he went somewhere this morning. I haven't seen him all day, but Jataka might know where he went."

"He irritates me. Of course, he isn't around when you need to speak with him. I even told him I'd be coming by soon and to stay here," Brunhilde rambles in annoyance as she taps her foot. 

You wonder what sort of urgent matter she needs to speak to him about. It can't be about the red cord or else she'd include you. 

Though I wonder. 

"Has there been any luck finding Yue-Lao?"

"Unfortunately no," Göll answers. "He doesn't want to be found for some reason. None of the other Chinese deities have even seen him."

You hum. It's strange, but unfortunately, there's nothing you can do. The Valkyries at this point are the only hope you have unless you ask Buddha for help. 

With a deep sigh, you fake a smile. It's disappointing but you understand. 

"I'm sure Shaka will be back soon. We should probably go inside to wait for him."

Brunhilde raises a curious brow but says nothing in response. She and Göll walk with you to the main room where Jataka is waiting. 

"Brunhilde… Göll… It is a pleasure to see you both," he greets with a sincere smile. "Siddhartha went to see a friend, but he should be back soon. If you are busy I can tell him to head over to the arena when he comes back." 

"We'll wait," Brunhilde states. 

Jataka nods in response. 

"I will go get snacks."

Who is this friend that Buddha went to see? You reckon that it's none of your business. 

It doesn't take too long for the easygoing God to return, as his brother had stated. You are sitting on the floor with Göll sharing a treat with her when he leisurely walks him, carrying two packages beneath his arm. His curious eyes look you over, taking in your soaked appearance before he grins; a bar of what appears to be rolled candy rests between his lips. 

"Just in time."

You raise a curious brow, but he doesn't answer. Buddha merely hands you the packages, and before you can question what is inside them, Brunhilde interrupts. 

"I need to speak with you about something urgent."

"I've been here, more or less. I haven't done anything," Buddha remarks. 

Brunhilde sighs in response. 

He's right, but his tone makes him sound guilty. You do not doubt that the Valkyrie has her suspicions. 

"It's about the upcoming meeting."

The meeting? What sort of meeting? You want to know more, but Jataka clears his throat as if to say it's not a good idea. 

"It is best we let them talk in private. Come. We can rest in your room."

"Göll will sit with you," Brunhilde orders. 

The young Valkyrie pouts, but doesn't argue with her. 

You stand and motion for the two to follow you, escorting them to your room. At least you have a moment to see what the two packages Buddha had given to you contain. 

Excitedly you rip into the first one, a squishy package that feels like it has clothes in it. You are in awe that you are right, but more excited that the three outfits inside are beautiful, made of soft cotton that reminds you of the style from Buddha's time. 

"Did he have these made for me?" 

"He did," Jataka answers. "I hope you do not mind. He wanted to give you something more comfortable to wander around in."

You don't mind at all. With a smile, you lay out the clothes on your bed, setting aside one to change into once you are done. The second package contains the candy you asked for a week ago, sealed in a vibrate-colored square box. 

"What is that?" Göll asks in curiosity. 

"It's a game from my time," you answer. "I wanted to show it to Shaka. And maybe play it. The more the merrier." 

Jataka smiles.

"You are thoughtful. Thank you."

Göll nods in agreement.

Both leave shortly after to allow you a chance to change. You do so, hanging up your modern clothes to air dry, then you meet with Göll and Jataka in the hallway, a bit nervous about your new appearance. 

"This look suits you," the ashen-haired male states. 

You are thankful. Perhaps Buddha will like it too. Walking back to the Main Hall, you allow Göll to peek inside. She motions you and Jataka to where Buddha is standing alone. 

"Are we interrupting?" Jataka asks. 

"Where is Hilde?" Göll asks shortly after.

Buddha yawns. 

"She went back already. Bu-chan has a way with words. She's going to need that confidence."

You raise a brow. This must be regarding the meeting. Or perhaps Brunhilde scolded the God. You snort imagining her giving him a piece of her mind, an action that doesn't go unnoticed by the said man. 

"I see the clothes fit. It suits you."

Your face heats up. It's funny. Jataka had said the same thing but coming from Buddha, you are on cloud nine. 

He notices the box in your arms and raises a brow. 

"What's that?"

"The game came in," you answer. "Do you want to play?"

The God nods in reply and sits down. You rest beside him, opening the box as Göll and Jataka do the same. 

You are impressed with how accurate the game is to the original. The square board reminds you of the one used in the game Twister but has an image of a chibi Buddha in the center with the spinner attached to it; around him are the images of ten multicolored jelly beans. The candy in question is inside a small rectangular box that you quickly open. 

"So, how does this work?" Göll asks.

You grin.

"It's simple. You just flick the spinner in the middle and whatever jelly bean it lands on is the one you choose from and eat. There are two variants to each bean." 

"It sounds like there is a catch. Why would there be two?" Jataka asks, raising his brow. 

Buddha snorts and picks up the square board. 

"You ask too many questions. It's just a game."

"Then close your eyes when making a choice," Jataka retorts. 

You raise a brow. Why would he need to do this? As far as you know each bean is identical to its counterpart. 

"I can guide you if you like."

Buddha grins and holds up the board, flicking the spinner with his finger. Around and around it goes, eventually landing on a white bean splashed with yellow. 

You quell the need to groan. 

Waiting for him to close his eyes, you find the bean that matches the one the spinner chose, then you gently open his hand, placing the bean in his palm. Your face turns red in embarrassment as you find the warmth of his skin soothing, so much so, that you frown when he lifts his hand to his mouth and pops in the candy. 

A moment later, his jaw tightens, and his nose wrinkles in disgust.

"W-what's happening?" Göll asks in fear.

"I think he just ate a rotten egg-flavored jelly bean," you answer in pity. "I'm so sorry."

Buddha swallows hard and opens his eyes. 

"Who does this to candy? It's so salty."

"Treats like this are big in my time. Confectioners make them extremely hot, sour, and even with gross flavors," you answer, cracking a grin. 

You take it that he isn't a fan. It's a fun learning experience, regardless. Turning your eyes to Göll, you gesture toward the game, witnessing her tense up. 

"Me? I don't want to go next."

"There's a 50/50 chance you get a good flavor," you point out.

She whines as she takes the board from Buddha. The spinner lands on a light blue jelly bean. With hesitancy, she picks it up and eats it. Immediately, her face softens. 

"That's so good." 

"It's berry blue if I recall," you mention. 

The back of the box has the flavors on them, but you'd rather be in the dark about some of them. 

When it's Jataka's turn, he doesn't hesitate to flick the spinner, landing on a lime green bean. Placing it into his mouth, he immediately grins. 

"It tastes like a pear." 

What are the odds? You accept the board from him, using it to choose a burnt orange colored bean with specks of red on it. 

"I don't remember this one."

Matching the bean to the board, you toss it into your mouth, chewing. Instantly you regret it, having to cover your mouth to keep from splitting it out. The taste of dry, stale fish invades your taste buds.

"That's dead fish," you utter.

Buddha cracks a grin. 

"That bad, huh?"

You nod. He has no idea. 

For an hour the four of you play until there's only a handful of beans left. You had witnessed Göll eat both a skunk spray-flavored bean and one that was meant to be barf-flavored back to back; the former not only affected her but also the room as the odor hung in the air for a short amount of time. 

The luckiest player was Jataka. You aren't sure how he did it, but somehow he managed only to draw a few of the nasty beans. Both you and Buddha were hit and miss, but you suspected this was because you were drawing for him. 

Once the game comes to an end, Göll leaves. Jataka excuses himself to wash out his mouth, leaving you and Buddha alone in silence; the latter picks through the remaining beans, separating them. 

"What are you doing?"

"Putting together a gift for a special someone," he answers with a grin. 

You aren't sure who he's referring to, but what he's doing isn't a great idea. 

"You know some of those might be bad, right?" 

"I know," Buddha retorts. He glances at you with lily patterns in his eyes, offering you a lime green bean. "Trust me."

You do. Without hesitation, you pop the bean into your mouth, humming as the flavor of juicy pear invades your taste buds.

"There's an important meeting coming up soon. I want you to go with me," Buddha mentions. 

You hum. Is this the meeting that Brunhilde came to talk to him about?

"Are you sure? I mean… I don't want to be a dead weight."

Buddha stops a moment and rests his hand on your shoulder. A soothing warmth consumes you. 

"You aren't dead weight." He smiles and motions toward the pile of beans closest to him. "And you're not going to want to miss out on this."

A genuine smile spreads across your face. You suppose so, but only because he invited you to tag along. 

This happiness. It has to be mine, right? 

This reminds you of home. 

#record of ragnorak fandom #buddha x reader #record of ragnorak fanfic #buddha ror #female reader insert

[thebeautyoffanfics]

sokka x zuko

a/n : i haven't written a character x character fic in forever LMAO like since middle school i think ..... but here we are !! i know atla isn't what anyone following me is here for , but i'm hyperfixating and zukka is one of those "haha wouldn't that be funny [oh god it's not a joke anymore]" things for me . so here's a semi-short + sweet + already probably done concept fic <3 warnings : none  word count : 840

Zuko sighed, his head aching with lack of sleep. This wasn't the first sleepless night he'd had-- far from it-- but it somehow felt so much more different. What did he have to do? Was Aang ready? How could the Avatar sleep when there was so much to be done? Sozin's Comet was like a poison hanging in the air, making him feel ill with anxiety.

The waves crashing on the shore were the only sound Zuko could hear past his heavy thoughts. Looking into the night sky, his eyes were first drawn to the sparkling speckle, barely bigger than other stars visible, yet clearly redder. If he thought too hard about it, he could almost feel the blazing heat from it, the power of 100 suns coursing through the firebending blood in his veins. It used to be such a powerful thought. Now he would have given up that power if it guaranteed the safety of this world. Of his friends.

Zuko sighed, an unwilling task, as if his body was trying to force him into relaxing. Wanting to find anything but that damned glow in the sky, his eyes moved to the moon, her light the opposite of the hot red. She offered a cool, relaxing tone; controlling the water, instead of fire. The waves only a few feet in front of him reached for her, following the pull she offered, only to fall back and try again. It reminded him of the two Water Tribe siblings he knew. Katara's practice, and the moves his uncle had shown him, the pushing and pulling of the waves. The shared determination of the siblings. Like the waves, constantly moving, trying again and again to reach the moon, they truly never stopped. Never gave up. Sokka even apparently had personal experience with the moon.

Despite finding himself lost in his thoughts, alongside his body fighting against his mind for rest, Zuko heard the quiet closing of the door behind him, and the footsteps that followed suit. Forcing his eyes from the waves, he turned, looking up at whoever had decided to interrupt his hazy spiraling.

The sight of the somewhat lanky, obviously sleepy, Water Tribe boy rung as ironic in Zuko's head-- his thoughts still having been lingering on Sokka. His hair was loose, falling around his face. The way it framed it, pairing with the moonlight, made Zuko's heart feel odd.

"What are you doing up?" Zuko questioned, turning back around.

"Woke up to pee, looked out the window and saw you sulking."

Zuko felt himself smile involuntarily, ignoring the confusion as to why something so small made his chest feel warmer, and instead firing his response. "I wasn't sulking."

"Okay? Then what were you doing staring into nothingness, outside, in the middle of the night, alone?"

"... Thinking, I guess. I couldn't really sleep."

Sokka took a moment, and Zuko began to wonder what he was thinking. Was he annoyed? "You can go back in," Zuko began, shutting his mouth when Sokka plopped down next to him, so close that their shoulders touched. This wasn't unusual-- Sokka was a close person, sitting close, talking close, and overall being more touchy than Zuko was used to-- but Zuko's tired heart skipped a beat, his face threatening to heat up.

"Welp, do you wanna talk about it?"

Though audibly exhausted, the annoyance Zuko was searching for in Sokka's tone was nowhere to be found. Instead, all he found was a genuine question, an offer with no obligation.

"Uh," Zuko hummed, wondering how to even begin his concerns, "maybe... I'm just nervous, I guess. It might be stupid, I mean, I'm not the one facing my dad. I just know how strong he is already, without even considering the comet. I'm worried if I've had Aang practice enough, or..."

Zuko couldn't help but trail off when a head landed on top of his shoulder. Dark brown strands of hair fell over Sokka's face, his eyes closed and expression relaxed.

"Keep talkin', I'm... I'm listening," Sokka mumbled, and Zuko knew he would have meant it if he wasn't actively falling asleep. On his shoulder.

Warmth settling comfortably in his chest, Zuko felt himself smiling again. "It's, uh... it's okay, buddy," He said. For a moment, things felt truly quiet. Peaceful. Sokka's weight on his shoulder seemed to simultaneously ground Zuko, and allow him to drift away, eyelids growing heavy. Finally, Zuko allowed his head to rest on top of Sokka's, butterflies dancing almost pleasantly in his stomach. With a comforting presence sleeping soundly on his shoulder, Zuko forgot for a moment about his concerns, drifting into a quiet sleep at last. In the morning they would wake up. Blushes and groggy condolences would be exchanged, and Zuko would put up with his anxieties once again. But, at the very least, he truly knew, and accepted, that he wasn't alone anymore. Maybe he never had been. It wouldn't fix everything, it wouldn't undo his actions, it wouldn't take permanent reminder of his father's rage off of his face or the ruins of the world, but it would offer hope. Undying, unbridled, and ready to prove itself.

#atla #fanfic #zukka #avatar the last airbender #sokka atla #zuko atla

[ephemeral--dreams]

☆ ☾ ☆  ────────────────── 

Pining for Dazai

It strikes you like a blow, when you realize that feeling swirling inside of you whenever you're around Dazai is love. How could you possibly have let yourself fall for someone like that?

Pining uselessly for someone who barely looks at you, too busy chasing after girls or teasing others in the ADA to spare you a fraction of the attention you give him. You wonder, does he even notice the way you stare after him? The way your focus is drawn entirely to him every time he's in the room? No, of course he doesn't. Wouldn't he make fun of you for being too infatuated if he knew?

…It's pathetic. So you bury your feelings as much as you can and hope that eventually they'll fade away. What else can you do? God forbid you confess to him.

Nothing stops that sting whenever he starts flirting with people in front of you. But it's a familiar feeling by now, almost welcome. You've grown so used to the all-encompassing longing that it's a part of you.

What hurts more is the damn suicide attempts, though. Dazai does it so often that you should be accustomed to it, but that split second of fear whenever you wonder if he's actually succeeded this time…

Being around him while he's alive is awful. Your emotions are constantly in turmoil because of this stupid, stupid man. But living without him would be worse. You're content to pine forever, so long as he doesn't die too soon.

So you find yourself cleaning up after his latest failed attempt one day, being the unfortunate one to find him. You didn't dare ask where he'd managed to get poison of all things. It was Dazai, after all. All that mattered was that it was too weak to kill him… But certainly strong enough to leave him lying there in agony. You huffed out a sigh as you half-coaxed half-carried him to Yosano's office… Yosano, who was out. Fine. He could just lay on the cot here until she was back.

"You're just going to leave me here alone? I'm already suffering so much, you're so cruel-"

Unfortunately, you're incredibly weak to him, giving in and staying at his side. You love and hate being alone with him in equal measure, but at least he was paying attention to you for once.

"You're an idiot," you tell him, "A lot of people would be hurt if you actually died, you know."

"I didn't know you cared so much~ Oh! Is this a confession of your love? Doing it when I'm too pained to sweep you off your feet… Are you trying to torment me?"

"You're the one tormenting me," you mutter, because isn't he? Haven't you been tormented for months because of this man? And now he's teasing you, speaking as if he'd ever actually reciprocate-

"Am I?" He tilts his head. "It could stop at any time, just say the word. I would love to commit a double suicide with you-"

Something inside of you snaps, and before you can think better of your actions you're leaning in to kiss him. It may be the biggest mistake of your life, but who had the time to think of such things? It shut up his double suicide nonsense if nothing else.

For his part, he seems almost startled for a moment. (Maybe he really hadn't known how you felt…? A foolish thought, how could someone as smart as him be oblivious) But then he's reciprocating, lips moving against yours until things finally catch up to you and you pull away.

The seconds tick by as the two of you stare at each other. The silence is deafening as you wait for… Well, anything. For him to laugh off the kiss, to tell you it was a one time thing, that he wasn't serious…

But Dazai only smiles.

"So, I suppose we could put off the death until after we have a date or two-"

Oh, you're going to kill the bastard yourself.

(…Your heart suddenly feels lighter for the first time in months.)

#dazai osamu x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #Headcanon hours #dazai osamu imagines #Story unfolding

[drylan]

angst. mean ryan and mean dylan. arguing. tension. miscommunication. ANGST. (but not dark fic please!)

tw: arguing/shouting, self-ableism, vague mentions of car accidents/death

"So, I'm just invalid now, is that it?" Dylan spat, flailing at Ryan angrily as the shorter man was pretty much tugging him back inside their apartment. His hair was a mess, his face was a mess, his clothes were a mess. He made a point of not letting Ryan help him at all today after a rather tense evening last night.

Ryan had drawn the line at Dylan trying to drive with one hand. He wasn't ready and had never even attempted to do that. And he wasn't really to risk having him get into an accident. "I didn't call you fucking invalid, dude, but I'm not letting you get in a goddamn accident-"

"You'd love that, though, wouldn't you?" Dylan shouted back, virile spewing as Ryan slammed their front door behind them. "Then you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore, huh? Then you wouldn't have to pity-fuck a freak like me?!"

"Oh my God, you're ridiculous!" Ryan could hardly handle it, the burning in his chest, the tears falling down Dylan's face. Those harsh words. "Do you really think that's what I think of you?'

"I know it is! I-I heard you, I heard you on the phone last night-" Dylan choked off, the anger giving way to pure anguish as he was far too overwhelmed to do anything but sit right there on the living room floor and sob into his one remaining hand. All anger fell out of Ryan, it being replaced with shame and guilt. "With Kaitlyn. I heard you. How-how you're tired, how...how I don't do anything for myself and-and you're always taking care of me and...I know you hate me..."

"Okay, okay, listen..." Ryan sat down in front of him. "...I did...I did say something like that. I don't hate you, though, I never could." Dylan scoffed. "I don't. Fuck. I am tired. And I shouldn't've talked about us with Kaitlyn like that. I-I'm sorry."

Dylan swallowed but remained silent, sniffling a little. Ryan tried to move in closer, to touch him, but he shifted back, not quite meeting Ryan's gaze.

"Babe, you tried to drive your Jeep. That...that you haven't driven since before camp last year, okay? I just. I know you're not happy. Being dependent like this." Ryan swallowed hard, voice shaking as he spoke the next few words. "And I just...I'm not happy, either."

"So, so this is it, huh? Goodbye, then?" He sniffled, trying to look defiant but the wobble of his bottom lip gave it away.

"No, no, Dylan. This isn't goodbye." Ryan scrambled a little, hands tucked in his lap and clenching, wanting so badly to touch and hold and reassure him, but he knew it wasn't welcomed at the moment. "Let's...see about getting you back into physical therapy. Maybe? If you're ready. Um, I know the appointments were a bit expensive but I've got some money saved up and...and we can make it work. Please."

"Why? You're not happy with me, so...so why bother?" Dylan's voice was getting raw, scratchy now.

"I'm not happy seeing you hurt. And I'm not...not happy worrying all the time if you're going to get hurt worse. Or...or having to do things for you when I know it frustrates you." Ryan sighed. "But I love you. You're it for me, Dylan. Forever. It's you or...or it's no one."

"Ryan-" He shook his head, blinking away tears.

"I mean it. Please. Please, look at me, Dylan." Dylan finally did, and Ryan reached his hands back over, taking Dylan's hand and residual limb into his hold. This time he didn't pull back. "I love you, Dylan."

"I love you, too." Dylan sobbed, melting into Ryan's hold then, the walls crumbling down as he finally let go, let himself feel. "It's just so fucking much, man, it's so hard and...and I'm scared, I know I'll never be the same. And I don't...I don't want to think it, but I'm worried you're only with me because you feel bad about...about this."

"Dylan." Ryan looked down at him and smiled, brushing back some of his messy hair. "Remember when I gave you my number at the hospital?"

"Yeah?" He sniffled. "What about that?"

"I wrote it before everything. Before the van. Before being in Mr. H's office." Ryan's voice full of something fond and sweet, truth. "I wrote it three weeks into camp."

"What?" He pulled upright, face red, but tears finally breaking for something more soft, more calm. "Really? I, but, you..."

"I had a thing for you like you did me." Ryan laughed. "You're just, y'know, better at making your intentions known."

Dylan laughed himself then, pulling Ryan back into his arms, before kissing him gently. "I'm...I'm sorry, f-for what I said and...and did, it was stupid, it was-"

"It's okay." Ryan shook his head. "We're done with it. It's over."

"Okay." Dylan nodded, flopping back into Ryan's hold and taking a deep sigh. "Okay." He echoed, Schrodinger peeking out over the stairs now that it had gotten much quieter in the room.

It would take time, and healing, and lots of therapy of all kinds, but they would indeed be okay.

#sorry i cant keep ever have a bad or unhappy ending even in my shorter ficlets so #my stuff #fanfic #ficlet #the quarry #drylan #rylan #radioheads #dylan lenivy #ryan erzahler

[thunderheadfred]

SICK OF FEELING BLEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH

guhgahghgaghahgfkjasfkajf

Doctor appointment was fine, baby seems fine. No real cause for concern beyond the fact I just feel like shit all the time. Even so, I opted to get an early blood glucose test at 20 weeks when I have my ultrasound.

I'll get to pound one of those nasty glucose drinks and then have blood drawn to make sure I haven't developed gestational diabetes. With my age and my starting A1C being high (not like, pre-diabetes high, but higher than I want, for sure) I'm paranoid. But even without that, people can develop gestational diabetes for no reason at all, so. Best to rule it out early, if it's the root of the problem

but most likely explanation is just that I'm chronically fatigued as hell

edit: also I read a great fucking comment today on a climate panic threads account that "having children is an inherently selfish act" and it spun my head so far around I'm still dizzy. Just say you wish you were never born and you believe the end is nigh and be done with it, man. I'll forever support people who don't want kids for whatever reason (I was one of them, until quite recently!) but like... life reproduces. We're alive. Your cells are selfishly dividing even now. Even if you personally don't want to (again, valid!), some of us do have to procreate for life to go on. Do you hate plants for bearing fruit? Life is not inherently selfish; it's what we do with it, and we have a choice, which is miraculous

I'll be over here stubbornly clinginging to hope and manifesting a sustainable future thanks. Like. I have faced The Horrors and decided to go on anyway. My daughter will be resilient and resourceful and I will teach her to love others in the hope that she might live to be a grandmother in a strange future.

Don't love that pregnancy in the 21st century comes with a side serving of people calling you an evil capitalist shill for starting a family, when the reality for me was far more like having the largest existential crisis of my life, where God themself descended into my backyard and showed me the end of all things and asked boomingly, "are you emotionally and physically prepared to raise a child even if civilization as you know it collapses within your lifetime" and having to look God directly in the face and say, "Give me the fucking baby, you jerk. I'll build the future myself if I have to."

#fred is pregnant #this week has been rough and I'm not loving it #several days of total bedrest with little relief #fun

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of October 2023

(via stats.fm/spotistats)

[last month]

What a sleepy month... as in, I've been sleepy and haven't had much interest in new releases. (Except IVE. I have been listening to wayyyyyy too much IVE.) Hopefully I'll have some energy back in time for the RV album, and to really enjoy the Weeekly comeback (finally!!!) that just happened!

1. Lux Aurumque -- Eric Whitacre, Eric Whitacre Singers

Eric Whitacre (and a song from the same album as the last one, too??) on the top of the list two months in a row! Deserved. This is basically the same song as "Sleep" for me, but they both have just so much emotional value so I don't really mind!!

2. Invisible String -- Taylor Swift

This ended up being a theme song for my big creative writing project this month--I really don't think I've gone a day without listening to it, and I'm still not tired of that soft guitar. It’s so perfectly cozy :)

3. Either Way -- IVE

Another theme song for the writing project--I love how this song proves that sounding ‘gray’ doesn't have to be unappealing. If you liked this, you’ll probably like Dvwn’s “Yeonnam-dong”!

4. Siren -- Taeyeon

I hate that this song perfectly captured my mood for more than half of October, but thank the gods I had a song that described that mood perfectly!! If I’m stuck feeling stressed and glum (a REALLY weird combo), at least I have Taeyeon to keep me company :)

5. Chili -- Hwasa

This was GREAT. I mean it’s me, so I'll listen to Hwasa sing anything, but this instrumental really hits, especially compared to the abomination of an instrumental that was "I Love My Body". With the killer combination of Hwasa & the beat, “Chili” was an instant 'leave on repeat until I can no longer physically stand it' classic.

6. Here We Go Again -- Jini

I talked about this album, right? It carried my month!! It's not my favorite of the year--there are definitely some really messy parts (that I think will get worked out in Jini’s discography over time)--but the commitment to making catchy, energetic songs that feel mature but still youthful, and to keeping a consistent aesthetic throughout the album, is something I really appreciate. This is my favorite song from it--Jini does a great job with such a fun chorus! Can I call this my favorite NMIXX song?

7. Bad Reputation -- Jini

MORE JINI !!! The way the piano in the instrumental reminds me of Katy Perry's "Roar" is unfortunate, but "Bad Reputation" is too genuinely sweet for me not to enjoy. I LOVE TOO LITTLE JUST A LITTLE TOO MUCH <3

8. Thursday's Child Has Far To Go -- TXT

Sorry, new TXT album. I'm happy with my comfort song!!

9. Psycho -- Smyang Piano

Writing project soundtrack! This has been on one of my favorite lofi mixes for forever, but I never bothered to seek it out on its own until this month--I'm so glad I did!

10. Teenage Dream -- Olivia Rodrigo

Writing project soundtrack! A solid 3/5 for good atmosphere + some standout lyrics!

11. Quimera -- Alba Reche

One of my favorite songs of all time, here to make the cold-season days a little bit softer, as it always does. At this point, "Quimera" is a seasonal tradition for me.

12. Biriken -- Creepy Nuts

Creepy Nuts!!! Okay, so… I don't enjoy this song, like, at all, but I keep finding myself drawn to just how intensely it makes me feel. I find it so viscerally terrifying and unpleasant that it's much more compelling than a lot of other songs this month! And I think that's what really made me a fan of Creepy Nuts in the first place--I find their music so interesting, even when it isn't pleasant. I can’t look away, and that’s what happened with “Biriken” this month.

13. Mr. Blue Sky -- On The Rocks

This a cappella arrangement is so glorious. Like oh my GOD if I still did arranging, I would be taking notes on every second of this. (I'm still probably taking subconscious notes, anyway, considering how many times I've listened to it this month.)

14. Pink Venom -- Blackpink

I really don't remember listening to this one that much? But I do love it--it's my takeout cheeseburger of songs, and it's always a good fast-food meal.

15. Big It Up -- Ailee

This song is fine! I like it a LOT more than the title track, at least.

Five-Star Songs This Month:

Chili -- Hwasa (yep this is back! favorite release of the month, sorry IVE & Sunmi I STILL LOVE Y'ALL I PROMISE)

Holy Moly -- IVE (had me from the moment that low drum kicked in. even the weird glitch sound in the chorus doesn't faze me anymore!!)

Wonderland -- Aimer (okay this is late. i've loved the walpurgis album since it came out, but i didn't appreciate this song specifically until a walk a few weeks ago--and now it feels like a crime not to give it five stars.)

Dalala -- Yuju (can't believe i missed this when it came out?? this is my "off the record." yuju makes every song feel so high-class, so impeccably put-together, just by being on it.)

#honorable mention for me finally liking the jihyo album this month ? #also can you tell i hate the cold #being cold is one of my major emotional crisis-causers #hence all the comforting music i need to get me through it lol #music chats

[master-k0hga]

| A M É L I E |

[ Category: Zareans ]

| This is probably the proudest ref I've ever fucking drawn tbh... I had to re-draw this lovely gal cuz her current re-design was a little off to me, and drawing her bust was absolutely fun so yeah that's happening... Anyways this is Amélie, or "Beaut" which is her celebrity name cuz she is in fact, a celebrity..

Also this would've been at least a month or two since I finished this when I do the mass post some time later.. So even though I'm proud of this now, wonder if that'll hold up til a couple months later when I get to the post spam..

Anyways- Amélie is another one of those old OCs of mine who's gone through massive changes, especially from when she was a fan character of another fandom I was semi into a few years ago... This is her now and honest to god, she's absolutely beautiful and I swear if anybody dares gives this post shit. I will massacre everyone and laugh while I do.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

INFO

Name: Amélie Species: Zarean General Personality: Funny, outgoing, supportive, forgetful, self conscious, posh, vocally talented Height: 15ft Relationship Status: Single

Extra Info:

"Beaut the Beautiful" is her stage name she randomly made on a whim in a sudden panic for a 'label' one day, it's kind of just stuck with her since

She is known for a variety of skills and talents within the species; Singing, dancing, acting mainly in pantomimes, fashion model, online influencer, all sorts. And despite seemingly extroverted and overall social, she actually deals with a lot of social anxiety; So she has to do all sorts of breathing and mental exercises just to get out there

She came out trans to her family roughly when she was in her teens, although her family had somewhat mixed reactions, in the end they supported her and her goals. She was officially "herself" when she got famous

Growing up she starred and took part in many things; Talent shows, school plays, all kinds of after school activities and clubs along with other events and such town. So she really has quite the experience in a lot of fields, she worked hard to where she wanted to be

She actually worked retail and working part time in a library while she was juggling career driven events and such

She stylizes, sometimes even crafts her own outfits, wigs and occasionally even the events she hosts in like concerts and such. She also has a personal assistant who is totally not her best friend she met in college

She never acknowledges her dead name or anything with the only exception being her grandmother before she passed (Emile was her grandfather's name)

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

And that's it for her again, re-doing her ref was a good idea tbh because I'm really happy with how I drew Beaut here, definitely catches her type of likliness better than the previous "re-designs" I did of hers on separate occasions throughout the years I've been drawing and re-designing all my OCs... Would hope I keep at it for a long time but I feel that somehow isn't going to work forever.. I genuinely thought at one point that I'd get all my OCs fully re-done, sorted and all along with their worlds and whatnot then I can work with what I got there..

But I've noticed now that the whole of the Zarean species specifically, which I was working on off and on for like 9 or so years now, has to now be re-done completely cuz the lore was kinda all over the place without reasoning and that it just felt.. Wrong..

So yeah... I'll probably be dead by the time I actually finish any of this, I probably won't have started by the time I end up on my death bed tbh..

Especially when loads of my OCs haven't really been touched since like... Before I completely ditched DA a couple years ago.......... Oh well....-

. Amélie, Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

#MASTER-K0HGA #Ary / Kohga Chronicles #Ary / Kohga OCs and Works #Beaut #Amélie #Female #Trans #M to F #Zarean #Zareans #Planet Zaria #Species #Personal Species Project #Fandomless #Original Character #OC #My OC #My Art #My Character #Re-post #My art re-posted #Yeah after I at least get most of my OCs specifically related to this species out the way then I'll start properly introducing them here to #Technically re-introducing them if I was still on DA since that's where I explained and talked about the majority of the lore there but it' #kinda gone now and don't really wanna use most of it since it's very outdated and very dumb... Like I'll re-read everything that I've got #and work with what can still be used so I'll work with that.. But the rest will obviously be scrapped entirely as it's not really useful no #needed much for these guys... A lot of it was very unimportant so yeah... And again yeah #This will be posted in like a month or two cuz I wanna get all this done for a mass post at some point since I won't really be online much #Fan art will be included with the bulk too even if it won't be much of it ofc.. So don't expect loads I expect my OCs to get the limelight #here....... Anyways...

[raeygina-george]

Every third remaining ask from the game

ill just answer the whole thing in one. LONG ASS POST GUYS

💖Favourite thing to draw

WAVY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

💯Favourite piece(s)

you get a sneak peek of the art project im working on yay. the perks of putting up with my bullshit <3

some of these i like more than others but as of rn these are the pieces i show people who haven't seen my art. my makeshift portfolio, i guess

🌈Favourite colour palette(s)

i think this is obvious enough if you look at my previous answer, but pinks, oranges, purples, and blues!

🤴Favourite OC(s) to draw

oooh yikes. to DRAW???? i never draw my ocs... i really like kyrie's design but i've never drawn her outside of that so i feel like she'd be really hard to get right..... idk i mean i guess saturn????????

🎨Favourite artist(s)

i dont have a lot of these, but i like hanacue, aidairo, and milkie2's art styles (these r just what i could think of off the top of my head)

✒Favourite medium 

i like gouache cause im a whore bitch

📏Medium you’d like to work with more

gouache because im not typically a traditional artist and every time i sit down to paint i just end up suffering for like an hour before i finally accept the fact that i cannot save this little kitty from its fate of looking like a vaguely animal-shaped blob. such interactions further repel me from the world of traditional art. im taking a painting class soon though so i'll just get my act together then

💭Go-to subject matter

humans?? usually just like. smiling. not doing anything too interesting

💜Drawing staples

i don't know exactly what this means but if it's an art piece of mine, it's got pink in it

💬What you’d like to draw more of

i'd like to draw more like backgrounds and animals? there's a shit ton of stuff i wanna improve with my humans but idk i've been wanting to branch out a bit more for a while i just haven't had the time or energy to draw more than like 1 of my blorbos a month

😂 Funniest drawing

i play tee k o with my family (you) so i draw stuff for that that's silly. WAIT HANG ON

this isn't my funniest drawing but it's what i have

❓Weirdest drawing/drawing with a weird process

im doing an art telephone w my friends that i might post when we're done? i can't post it now cause that would ruin the fun but yeah

🕑Drawing(s) that took the longest

uhhhh i mean earlier in my drawing journey i took forever to draw and i really hated drawing bc i took a super long time to draw and i didn't like anything i made and no one else liked anything i made so it was just like wow i spent all that time for nothing. still glad i did it though bc that era was still an important step in my art development. anyways as for more recent pieces uhh. my piece for the yorknew auction took a while, mostly because i had 0 time or energy and it was a really involved piece

👑Favourite fictional character(s) to draw

as you will see, i really like drawing lust from fmab

👿Least favourite fictional character(s) to draw

i've found out that unfortunately drawing olivier is not very fun for me. so sad cause i really like her

👔Design process for [x] character 

oh my god guys ask me about my magical girl designs and i will go insane i will type up a whole essay. i'll talk about kyrie cause i like her a lot

here's the design! so she drowned (or rather, was drowned by someone else) at 16 after being stalked for a couple months and eventually kidnapped. not exactly the lightest story, but bc it was so traumatic her brain erased the memories, and she doesn't find out the real cause of death until much later in the story, when kye comes across a guy who lived in kyrie's town and gets the full story.

her outfit is themed after ophelia for. obvious reasons. i looked up paintings/common interpretations of ophelia and found that she was commonly depicted in a white and gold dress with reddish-brown hair half up. oh, and flowers. so i ran with that. the white streaks in her hair were actually not part of the initial plan, but when i was using the bucket tool it left blank streaks and i just thought it looked nice.

for the flowers i chose forget-me-nots because she loses her memory, and then the hands on the skirt represent her fight to stay alive (both while drowning and before) and how she reached out for help in the months leading up to her death but no one answered. she's also, in a way, reaching for her lost memories, who she used to be, etc etc. the blue thingy in the back was initially supposed to be a mermaid tail as like. a single callback to the little mermaid (and the fact that she was a really good swimmer, so it's ironic that she drowned), but i took the mermaid aspect out & added in the two eyes.

the eyes are like. the feeling of being watched. the eye at the front will always look at kyrie no matter what, and the eye in the back will look at anyone else it can find, as if pleading for help. i just noticed the bracelet? not sure why that's there. probably just for fun. anyways the ring with the star on it is from a play called 'the princess who had no name', which is about a princess with amnesia who's trying to find out who she is and where she came from.

and finally, the weapon! it's meant to be a sparkler, like the little fireworks yk? it's a callback to the very first draft of her character from like 2 years ago, back when the kyries shared the name lylie instead & i had written absolutely nothing about her character. but i was reading through the old plot/character info a while ago and i found out she apparently really liked fireworks??? that was like my only piece of info about her. i figured since she'd changed so much it was only fair i put a little something from her roots. but the sparkler can also represent how 'bright' she appears to be; people are drawn towards her, for better or worse.

📆Earliest fandom you did fanart for/first fanart

the first fandom i remember like really being hyperfixated on was.... miraculous ladybug................. BUT i didn't make any fanart for it, so instead you get the very first real piece of art i ever made on my computer :)

shoutout to me for drawing those wings by hand. i didn't know how to use the flip tool so i just spent like 4 hours trying to make them symmetrical. and now i can't even remember how to draw butterfly wings. smh

HOLY SHIT WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED. BACK WHEN YOU FIRST SHOWED ME FAIRY TAIL I DREW HAPPY A COUPLE TIMES. I DONT HAVE ANY PICS BUT THAT'S DEFINITELY EARLIER THAN THIS. oh my god and don't even get me started on my warriors phase. wow i guess i've been making fanart since forever lol

📖Sketches 

this post is already too long. no

📝Process for [x] drawing 

my general art process is idea > rough sketch > real sketch > lineart (if applicable) > coloring > rendering > SHADE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT THING > send it to my friends and say 'anything else i should add 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺' > add a little more shading > done. you can ask me for more detailed instructions, i'd be happy to give a more in-depth tutorial about something specific

✨Inspiration for [x] drawing 

uh idk i do a lot of redraws. lately i've been doing redraws + asking friends for cool poses + looking at stock images for inspiration

💚Things you like about [x] drawing

i'll go with that aubrey piece from one of the earliest questions. i like how the emotions came across in both her expression and the coloring, and how much more fluid the pose is. i think the shading & rendering is neat. overall it's a big improvement from the piece i was redrawing so im really proud of that & it's nice to see how far i've come in a relatively short amount of time

⏳Things you’d do differently with [x] drawing

using the same drawing, uhh... idk there's some stuff with the proportions that like. sometimes looks fine to me and sometimes looks off? i really just eyeball anatomy and stuff so it's not always particularly Good. i like the colors i have here but they're not the colors i was intending to use. i didn't really know how to draw the jacket and everything i did with the top just looked strange so they're not As Detailed or 'good' as they probably could be? there's parts where i got lazy and all that but all in all i really like this drawing and nothing big really jumps out at me, these are all just nitpicks

💌Some favourite feedback on art

hmmmmmmm i really like the few like. paragraph responses i've gotten. i appreciate every single comment i get but like when people rave to you about your art???? that's so nice. i can't really pick out a critique i've heard that super super helped me off of the top of my head, but there's power in knowing what you can do better next time

#raey spam #asks <3 #long post #really long post #i hate it here why did it post all of those images one by one!!!! i purposely organized them so they would take up less space!!!11

[hawkhills]

tagged by @ohhstark, thanks! i really should be working now so what better time to do this 👀

tea, coffee, or soda? I wouldn't be able to get through a work day without coffee but other than that I'm a tea girl. I've even been trying to make the switch from coffee to matcha as my keep-awake drink. big no for soda

dogs or cats? I honestly have no preference at this point, I used to be a dog person simply for the fact that I grew up with them and had little to no contact with cats for most of my life. now that I've been cat-sitting for my in-laws for several years and I know how to interact with kitties, I like both equally

can you play an instrument? i have some decent piano skills that admittedly have been deteriorating since I haven't played for like a year. I did get pretty good at 17-key kalimba recently though, it's so so cool

what's your sun sign? libra

first song lyrics that pop into your head?

"I tried to talk with God to no avail

Calling my name and out of nowhere

I said "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time"

(from Oasis "Falling Down")

do you have any tattoos? nope, have been planning to get one but I always end up deciding to not spend the money lmao

favorite place you traveled? forever and always Skagen in Denmark, but Matera in Italy is a very close second

what's the last movie you watched? I put on You People on Netflix in the bg yesterday for some mindless work tasks

what languages do you speak? Polish, English, ~communicative Russian

do you have any hobbies? Go!!! I've been obsessed with playing Go for the last few years. I'm not even that good, still a double digit kyu player, but it's like my favorite thing and the local/slightly broader European community around this game is just the beeest, I've met so many people and traveled to so many cool places just to play and it's just so!!! I'd also genuinely call gym/lifting a hobby at this point, I'm not particularly serious about gains or anything but I've been training consistently twice or thrice a week since 2019 and I wouldn't be able to function without it now

you can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose? shiiit, that's super tough. I'm trying to keep my hdm brain from taking over but I don't think I can lmao, so right now it would be dr Mary Malone. I'm indirectly involved in academia and I'm just drawn to this sort of people lol. But with her in particular, I'd just kill to talk about her work and discoveries

compliment yourself: you've proven to yourself that with a little time and dedication, you can get get through any shit life throws at you. keep at it!

I hereby no-pressure tag you all my mutuals who are bored and feel like answering this haha

#ask things for ts #about me