#gojo crack | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hisbitchhh · 3 months

Text

SECOND TIME'S A CHARM - GOJO SATORU X READER

Summary: Your five year old sister doesn't know about the breakup with your ex boyfriend the next time she visits your home and ends up having a huge temper tantrum that makes you unblock his number and call him over for dinner.

Genre: crack, fluff, angst if you squint, reader has a younger sister

Notes: y'all thought this was the prompt suggestion? Well guess what, it's not. Losers‼️

WC: 3.2K

“Anaka stop crying,” Your ex spoke through the phone, giving the girl a soft frown as he sat up in his bed, running a hand through his snowy head of ruffled hair.

“R-ruruuuu…” The toddler whined in between obnoxious sobs as she shakily held the phone in her small hands, staring at Satoru through the facetime video on your device. Your younger sister has been asking for him and begging to see the man the second she stepped into your apartment.

Your parents had gone out on vacation for the whole week, leaving you to take care of your younger sister until they came back from their trip. Prior to now, she had walked up the stairs to your apartment with a big grin, every single stomp on each concrete step showing how excited she was to see you and “Uncle Ruru” as she had been calling him all of these months. You greeted her with a big smile once you opened your front door, waving at your parents’ car as it drove away from the parking lot you shared with the rest of your neighbors in the complex.

Once she got in, her high pitched voice echoed throughout your small home, tugging on your shorts as she looked around. You usually took care of her in Satoru’s house with Satoru, so she was very new to your apartment. The little girl tugged at your shorts, earning a hum from you as you organized her shoes on your shoe holder.

“Where's uncle Ruru?” She asked with an innocent and curious look on her face, gazing up at you with a large glint of hope resting in her big eyes. Your heart dropped once you heard those three words leave her smiley mouth. You hadn't told the little girl that you and Satoru broke up– not like she would understand, but you hadn't told her that she wouldn't see him again, wouldn't get anymore of her favorite candies from him or any new toys. This was definitely going to be a long night– a difficult one at that.

But you didn’t think you'd have to unblock his number and call him just to stop her constant crying and whining to see her Ruru.

Satoru was busy taking a nap until his phone began abruptly ringing in at least a dozen spam calls from your number. The man had broken up with you because he “Can't stand being in such a long time relationship” yet he was the one taking a distraction nap to stop himself from thinking about you.

‘Not You Too’ played quietly in his bedroom, cerulean eyes fluttering open with a grumpy groan leaving his lips before he looked at the caller ID on his phone and immediately jolted awake, all grogginess being gone.

Satoru ran over to the bathroom conjoined with his bedroom, splashing cold water on his face and quickly drying it, running a brush over his messy bed hair, rushing back onto the bed and almost launching himself onto the phone. Your ex cleared his throat, humming a few times to make sure he didn't sound too excited to see you as he picked up the call. His eyes widened at the sight of the little girl sobbing on the other side of the facetime, cheeks stained wet with tears and a hint of snot resting above her bottom lip as she called him by the nickname she had for him, whining and crying.

He heard your voice in the background, “Look, look! It's Ruru. Stop crying now, Anaka. He's right there baby.” He saw your hand reach toward her face with a small wipe, cleaning the snot off of her nose and gently wiping her tears away. Anaka looked at him through the phone, whimpering with puffy eyes. God, how he missed hearing your voice. He broke up with you simply because he couldn't stand being in such a long relationship, though in the few weeks that have passed without you he realized he felt more for you than he thought he did. Anaka to him was like his own daughter, he absolutely loved to spoil her rotten and take care of her with you whenever your parents were busy. He had even told you one day that he wanted to start a family of his own with you despite being twenty -one and in college. (He wouldn't have to worry, he had the money for anything)

“Ruru… come to big sis, please…” The toddler cried gently, and Satoru ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

“ ‘M not sure your sister would like that, ‘Naka.” He spoke up again to say something else before Anaka completely interrupted him with a louder whimper.

“B-but— you love her, and she loves you,” She whined, some of her tears falling onto the screen of your phone.

“I know, I love her a lot, but–” Before Satoru could finish, you picked the little girl up and balanced her on your hip to take the phone from her tiny hands and talk to him, a small frown resting on your face. He finally got to see you after what felt like years, (it's only been a month) considering you had blocked him on every single social media platform– so much that he had to make a different instagram account just to stalk you see what you were up to.

“Anaka’s been crying about you all day,” You explain with a soft sigh, looking at his face through the call. “She wants you to come over for dinner.”

Your ex’s bleached brows raise up in surprise, and he suddenly gets nervous, stuttering. “Sh-should I–” He cleared his throat, averting his gaze from your piercing stare. “Should I go over there? I mean she's pretty upse–”

“As long as you being here makes her stop crying and bothering my neighbors, you can come.” Satoru nodded with an ‘I’ll be there in five’ before hanging up the call. You on the other side let out a sigh, running a hand over the little girl’s hair. “You're such a drama queen.”

“Ruru coming?...”

“Yes, he's coming.”

“Yay!” Anaka squealed with a big grin on her small face, pushing herself off of your hip and rushing into your room screaming, “Pretty! Get pretty for Ruru!”

★☆★☆★☆★☆★

The sound of your doorbell ringing made Anaka jump up from the couch with an excited squeal, running off to open the door as you busied yourself in the kitchen with the dinner. The girl had forced you to put something else on instead of staying in a pair of shorts and a baggy hoodie, your current outfit consisting of a black bodycon dress that fit too tight on you and would scrunch up to your upper thighs if you moved too much and a pink pair of glittery bear slippers that she found collecting dust in the back of your closet. You had thrown a zip up sweater over most of the dress to cover up the spaghetti straps that exposed your entire collarbone.

The little girl ran into Satoru's arms with an excited giggle, laughing loudly and playfully yelping when he carried her and raised her into the air, laughing with her.

“Ruru, Ruru!” Anaka cheered, making you shake your head in response to the excitement in the girl's voice, finishing up with what you were cooking in the kitchen.

“There's my beautiful girl!” Your ex replied, a small grin curling his glossed lips as he placed the girl back onto the floor.

“Y’know something? I have a surprise for you.”

“Surprise?! What is it?! Say, Ruruuu!!”

You pulled the short dress down and walked toward the pair with folded arms, looking over at Satoru. He stood with a pair of skinny jeans and a black turtleneck that nicely showed off his toned torso.

Satoru glanced your way before grinning back to Anaka, pulling an item out of a plain white gift bag and revealing a bag of candy that was bigger than her whole head. She gave him a huge grin and jumped a few times with loud, happy yelps, pressing a wet kiss to his cheek that he soon enough wiped away when she wasn't looking. You chuckled at the sight of her happiness and patted her head, smiling down at her. God, you were still as fuckin’ beautiful as ever. (Even with the deadly looking open-mouth bear slippers engulfing your feet.)

“Well, that’s a little big and you're certainly not going to eat that whole thing of candy today, Anaka.” You commented, ruffling her hair as she whined in response. You then looked over at the man standing beside you, giving him an awkward nod and a quiet hey, earning the same from him. In all honesty, you weren't over him at all, and looking at the way he stared at you with big regret like you were some lost prize made it difficult to keep a careless demeanor up. Anaka interrupted the strong tension between you two by placing her tiny hand on your bum and trying to push you toward the man. You looked down at the toddler in confusion, before she said something along the lines of,

“Hug Ruru, sis! Hug Ru-ruuuuuuuuuu!!” She was basically already shoving you toward him and he gave you an unsure look, watching as you shook your head and walked over to him, hesitantly wrapping your arms around his torso. Satoru did the same and tightly wrapped his lean arms around your waist as if he didn't want to let you go again, resting his head on your shoulder. You were both doing it just so the child wouldn't get upset, but it felt amazing to be able to touch you again. Anaka squealed in satisfaction, gleefully clapping her hands at the sight of your awkward yet touchy hug. His strong cologne radiated off of him, but it felt nice to get an aroma of it again. Quickly, you both pulled away and the man cleared his throat, handing you the same plain white gift bag he was holding before.

“I, uh, got you somethin’ too.”

You hesitantly take the gift bag in your hands with a quiet thank you.

“You can go serve yourself. Dinner's ready.” You mumble, watching him walk off to the kitchen with your younger sister following behind. Once he was busying himself in the kitchen with a plate and another for Anaka, you looked into the bag, eyes slightly widening at the sight of your favorite box of chocolates with a beautiful single white orchid taped to the top of the case. Tears brimmed in your eyes at the sight of the small gesture, and suddenly you felt as if things had gone back to normal again, hand reaching into the bag with your fingers gently running along the well-cased box. You quickly snapped yourself out of your thoughts. No. You couldn't try to love him again. He hurt you too much, But the feeling in your chest told you otherwise– You wanted to pounce on him and give him a big kiss, one that you would never get sick of. But you knew better than to do so.

Walking over to the kitchen you were met by a patiently waiting Satoru and a drooling Anaka, giggling when you saw her eyeing the food like it was her last meal. Of course, Satoru had put his plate in the middle stool to make sure he sat next to you. He watched as you carefully placed the bag onto the countertop, an aquamarine ocean eyeing you walking over to sit at the kitchen island on the only spot that was left. Once you sat down with the plate in front of you that your ex had generously served for you, you lightly cleared your throat and looked over at him, resulting in his head turning to look at you again, nervously staring you down with his powerful, almost glowing orbs.

“Uh, thanks for the chocolates.” You hummed, before turning to your food. Satoru stared at you for a few moments with what seemed like hope for you to say something more resting in his blue eyes before nodding and sending you a small hum. The rest of the night was full of laughter, giggles, and lots of chatter– mostly from Satoru and Anaka, considering you didn't really have much to talk about and didn't want to make things even more awkward.

There was a part where Anaka wouldn't refuse to leave you out, though.

“YouTube–” She spoke into the voice receiver, “Couple’s dances for Just Dance.”

At the sound of that, you perked up in confusion with slight wide eyes, looking over at Satoru. He only shrugged, fixing the pink party glasses on the bridge of his nose and looking at the TV. The five year old scrolled through what seemed like thousands of videos before stopping at one, turning to you with a big grin. Quickly, you shook your head. “I'm not doing that.”

You ended up doing it.

It was tango, and throughout every single move, Satoru did not miss stepping on your feet. His head was turned toward the TV and so was yours, making Anaka giggle every single time one of you messed up which was the entirety of the dance, laughing every time the man accidentally stomped on your foot.

“Ow– quit stepping on my foot!”

“I'm trying!”

Another time was when Anaka pulled a play makeup kit out of her box of toys and rushed over to the man with a devilish grin playing on her lips. You held back a fit of laughter when Anaka told Satoru to look over at you and smile, the nervous grin gracing his features telling you that he was definitely unaware of the messy lipstick that overlined his lips and the hot pink blush on his cheeks and eyelids.

You ended up falling to the floor and hurting your stomach from laughing so much.

It was fun and made you forget about the problems you had with him You were never going to do that ever again.

Even though you were silent and minding your own business for the rest of the night maybe eating some candies out of Anaka’s bag when she wasn't looking the tension between you and your ex seemed to dissipate, and it relieved you– in more ways than one. It was all fun with Anaka running around your living room, toys being thrown all around your apartment and temporary dye spraying Satoru’s already messy hair. (You walked in on Anaka standing on the toilet seat, leaning above him with the spray can in her tiny hands while he fearfully lay his head in the sink) Before you knew it, Satoru was tiptoeing out of your bedroom as you cleaned up her mess, having put the toddler to sleep.

“Need help?” The man asked, making you look back at him with a raised brow. You gave him a small nod, watching as he quickly began to take multiple toys in his bigger hands and throw them into the nearby toy box.

“Thanks for… coming over today. I don't know how I would've calmed her down.” You spoke, walking over to the toy box and placing the last of Anaka’s toys in the small storage, closing it. Satoru shook his head with a chuckle, plopping down on your couch.

“It's nothing. ‘M glad I was able to help.” It felt strange talking so normally to him now, considering he ended your relationship on such a sour note. Your ex then let out a soft sigh before getting up from the couch and walking over to you, the look of regret that he had when he first saw you earlier appearing on his face.

“Can we… talk, Y/n?..” Your gaze went to his when he said that, a small sigh leaving your lips as you walked out of his way, adjusting the coffee table on your rug.

“There's nothing to talk about, To– Satoru.” You replied, a sigh of your own leaving your lips. You expected him to say something like this once the two of you were alone, and you were trying so hard to avoid it and get him out of your apartment before he could even mention something like that. Your hands went down to pull the hem of your short dress and adjust it, walking over to the front door as he followed you.

“Y/n, please–”

“I didn't call you over to talk, you can leave now.”

“Y/n–listen to me. Please. Just a few words– even a minute is fine with me.” Satoru stopped you from walking any farther and placed his hands on your cheeks, begging you to stop and listen with the glassy look in his eyes. He pressed his forehead against yours, making you avert your eyes from meeting his. You bite your inner cheek and force his hands off of your cheeks, pushing his body off of yours.

“One minute. That's all I'm giving you.” You cross your arms, looking up at him. He quickly adjusted himself, running a hand over his hair.

“I'm really sorry– like I really am– I know you won't forgive me so easily but I swear on everything I have I'll do anything to make it all up to you. I– I love you, Y/n. It might sound like a lie, but I really do, You're better than anyone else I've been with, and it took me so fucking long to realize that. Please forgive me– or at least say something… these three weeks have felt like hell without you.”

Satoru took your hand in his, pressing soft kisses onto it. The red lipstick Anaka had smeared on his lips was all over your hand, “I haven't even been going out– I haven’t done anything with anyone– my stupid ass has been waiting for you to send me a message telling me you want to get back together instead of just trying to fix the problem myself.” He pressed another kiss to your hand, “I'm sorry baby, I really am. I won't do anything like that ever again, I promise.”

Once he looked at you, his eyes widened at the sight of the tears brimming in your eyes. You let out a gentle noise, looking down to avoid his gaze.

“Y/n,” He called, caressing your face with his free hand, wiping your tears away.

“You're such a fucking jerk,” You muttered, and from that line he immediately knew you were willing to give him a second chance. You gave in so easily, and who wouldn't? You love him so much and you were just as miserable as he was for the three weeks you were broken up. Satoru immediately pulled you into a desperate, touch starved kiss, gripping your face so hard with both of his hands that you thought your jaw was going to lock. A grin curled his red lips, earning a soft whine from you when he got the red lipstick all over your cheeks and mouth. Your arms wrapped around his neck, resting your forehead on his chest.

“I love you.”

And for the remainder of the night you busied yourself with removing your boyfriend’s pink hair dye, filling the bathroom with giggles and insufferable kisses.

“I love you too, Satoru.”

★☆★☆★☆★☆★

a/n: Anaka is reader's wingwoman🤭

868 notes · View notes

satorubrain · 11 months

Text

3:43 AM

Pairings: Gojo Satoru x Reader.

Tags: Crack

3:43

Both of you were fast asleep in each other's embrace.

But something woke you up. You didn't even have a dream- obviously, there wasn't a curse around in the room of the two strongest people, that will put weird thoughts in your mind. Your brain was simply wired wrong.

"Satoru!! Satoru wake up!" You literally shake him so hard he's forced to wake up. Rubbing his eyes he looks at you with an eye open, demanding a reason for your actions with a "Hm?"

"I just had a thought-" you confess

"oh- which is?" he ponders, his interest piqued. It was one of the rare times you have awoken him, instead of him waking you up to listen to his nonsense.

"If you were a vampire you'd probably be turned on by period blood because you're weird like that" you tell him, causing him to scream "WHAT?!" his sleep is now long gone.

"Woah thinking about it thats so gross. Satoru what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you like this?" your tone changed, not just that you're also disgusted by HIM because of YOUR thought. "what the fuck, Satoru" you whisper shaking your head before moving away from him and going back to sleep on your side of the bed, your back facing him.

Poor him. Not only did you just wake him up but also make an absolutely unprovked assumption about him and scold him because you got disgusted by it? To make it all even worse, you're not even in his arms anymore, how is he supposed to sleep? He can't even wake you up because you'll literally kick him out of the house if you do that. Now it's just him, his thoughts and the silence. His sleep is long gone.

Obviously you don't remember this happening the next morning.

I'm not sorry for whatever this is. It's canon.

[REQUESTS ARE OPEN]

[MASTERLIST]

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo imagine #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x reader #gojo fluff #gojo fanfic #gojo crack #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jjk x y/n #jjk drabbles #jjk gojo #jjk fanfic

505 notes · View notes

meguemii · 4 months

Text

Bro’s the Type to :: Satoru Gojo

synopsis :: silly head canons, you guys already know ^_^ except it’s dovey gojo not the canon hoe 😓

satoru gojo’s playlist. navigation station🚉.

Bro’s the type to..

୨୧ make a bet that if you can catch him in a game of tag he’d [___] but then turn his infinity on so you can’t touch him.

୨୧ instead of sitting on his lap he’d sit on yours

୨୧ to buy you expensive gifts without you even asking him to buy it

୨୧ to tease you if he ever caught you reading smut and literally never let you live it down. “oh so thaaat’s what you’re into?” is what he’d say when he catches you, and if you’re out somewhere public he’d probably say something shameless along the lines of “i decided to read that book you were reading, reminds me of that one scene in chapter 6. should we recreate it?” (#cringe #ilovehim #yesletsrecreateit)

୨୧ to beeeeeg you to play with his hair all the time, like this guy def asks for head scratches

୨୧ to hug you from behind. i know this man’s favourite way to give hugs is from behind. like if you’re washing dishes, cooking food or doing anything and it gives him the chance to do so, he’s doing it. i just knooow it. you’d feel his arms wrap around your waist and his head lean into your shoulder and he’d probably say a soft “hey baby”

୨୧ to be most comfortable with you. he’s for sure always taking off his blindfold around you and staring at you with his freakish blue eyes but he still cute though.. i guess.

୨୧ to stand in the doorway and say “i’m not in your room” as he’s only a centimetre out when you tell him to leave your bedroom. god he’s so annoying.

୨୧ to poke at you constantly when you tell him to stop touching you. I TOLD YOU HE’S ANNOYING.

୨୧ to sit in the most awkward positions

୨୧ to ask for chocolate milk and chicken fingers at nice restaurants mostly just to embarrass you

୨୧ to constantly brag about you to his students. we love a man who brags

୨୧ to make you walk home in the rain all angsty because he thinks it looks cool and builds character

he’s a loser. and we all love him. why?

comments + reblogs are appreciated ♡ yuji, megumi and inumaki versions of this are located in the navigation station!!

emi’s notes— i haven’t made an actual post in so long so i wanted to put something out and ik a few people wanted a gojo version of this so here it is!! ^w^ LUV U POOKIES

mutual tags :: @kasumitenbaz @lees-chaotic-brain

#emi’s archive ┆彡 #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fluff #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo satoru x reader #satoru #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo crack #he’s so stupid #i hate him #no i dont #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen headcanons

401 notes · View notes

joi-me-hoi-me-noi · 25 days

Text

hold please...

I don't know why I thought of this but this man--

YES THIS BEAUTIFUL BLUE-EYED MAN WOULD AGREE TO LET YOU WAX ANYWHERE ON HIS BODY...

for practice...with waxing.

HE WOULD SCREAM LIKE A BITCH AND WOULD BE SO DRAMATIC LOL

Now Nanamin-

he's fine...

literally, mentally and physically fine.

A small grunt of discomfort is all he lets out

mans has been through too much to let this little practice session get to him

That's the difference between the two men... thank you and A-fucking-MEN

#fluff #jjk x reader #requests open #taking requests #reqs open #jjk fluff #jjk x reader fluff #jjk crack #jjk x reader crack #gojo x reader fluff #gojo fluff #gojo x reader #gojo crack #nanami x reader fluff #nanami fluff #nanami crack #crack #can you tell I'm losing my patty-flipping mind?#or I'm just really bored

59 notes · View notes

jennifer-jeong · 21 days

Text

JJK Characters as Memes I Have Saved on My Phone With Little to no Explanation

GOJO SATORU EDITION

I'll link more here as I post them hehehe Lmk in the comments or my ask box if there's someone you would wanna see first B)

Blue eyes white hair

Single father of two <3

This one just felt right. I feel like he's the type to strike a pose like this after blowing something up since his headass has infinity and wouldn't get hurt by standing in an explosion. (This picture has a lot of layers and if you understand all of them, you get a kiss).

Bro has attachment issues

He'd definitely do this with his stupid round sunglasses LMAO

The box

Malewife

His piercing ass blue ass eyes

This one isn't really portraying Gojo himself but I think it fits in this post

|| MASTERLIST<3 || Thanks for reading!

#jjk meme #jjk x reader #jjk crack #gojo x reader #gojo meme #gojo crack #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru meme #gojo satoru crack #gojo satoru #gojo #satoru gojo #satoru gojo crack #j's silly ramblings

36 notes · View notes

misslovasstuff · 3 months

Text

I saw a comment under a gojo edit that went like:

“he who manages to pull him out of me shall be crowned king arthur"

😭

#i keep thinking about it #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #gojo crack

22 notes · View notes

easybrainrot34 · 6 months

Text

Whenever I hear Hotel by Pitbull i always think of gojo. U SIT HERE AND LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME IM WRONG! AM I WRONG BRO??! ABSOLUTELY NOT!! The fics write themselves babe 😌💅🏻✨

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk crack #headcanon #gojo satoru #gojo #gojo crack #anime headcanons #just picture it

4 notes · View notes

nanaslutt · 17 days

Text

the call ending after you fall while being on the phone with the jjk characters

ʚ incl: gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna, shiu, higuruma, ino, uraume, shoko, nobara

ʚ incl: crack, fluff

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT FOLLOW

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

3K notes · View notes

satoruluvies · 24 days

Text

random bf!gojo texts

[nsfw!]

requested requested :3

kinda like this a lot

1K notes · View notes

inmaki · 3 months

Text

gojo showing off your back scratches to geto

( cont from this fic! req, visual ) .

contains: sex talk, desc of back scratches, crack, sugu is called daddy once (as a joke.. right..)

everything was relatively peaceful in suguru's apartment. key word: relatively.

a forgettable yet appreciated sunday afternoon, not a cloud in sight despite the weather forecast predicting downpours of rain. either way, the raven-haired man insouciantly rested across his white couch, reaching the conclusion that today would be a day for self-care, relaxing, and perhaps some meditation.

there was only one thing ruining his peace.

all morning, suguru has been forced to try and ignore the stain a certain someone has left on his couch — a pair of unecessarily expensive yet dirty shoes being the culprit.

despite these attempts, every once in a while his gaze can't help but wander over at the mark — as if it'd poof out of existence if he glared hard enough.

"fuckin' asshole.." he mutters. it was a wonder his relationship with his best friend managed to stay so promising despite all their differences, yet suguru wouldn't have it any other way, even after situations like this.

right when he grumpily turns back to the tv — which was playing some crappy, low budget rom-com — his apartment door is yanked open and suguru swears he nearly jumps out of his seat.

great, was this it? was he about to get robbed, perhaps evicted? and then probably die? forced into the afterlife knowing gojo's shoe-shit was still on his new couch? no that can't—

"i fucked her!"

suguru whips his head towards the apartment door, announcement being disregarded as he nearly groans in agony. speak of the devil.

big blue eyes peak out from under circular sunglasses, one hand already raised in preparation for a dap up while his stupid, big, dirty shoe pushes the door closed behind him. gojo wears a black compression shirt with grey sweats, marching over to his friend with a ginormous grin across his cheeks.

"take your shoes off, now," suguru snaps, nodding to his friend's feet with a frown.

"yeesh... whatever y'say, daddy," the bastard never loses his smile as his hands raise in surrender, kicking them off by the door smoothly. "what's got your panties in a twist?"

geto pinches his nose bridge. "don't call me that," as he continues the scolding, he points to the living room with his free hand. "you got a mystery stain on my couch, satoru. do you know how many youtube videos i watched trying to get this shit off?"

unphased, gojo takes a look at the strangely colored blob against the armrest's leather material and shrugs. "my bad. did you try febreeze?"

"what— no? dude, febreeze is for.." when suguru looks back up to sourly meet his gaze, he could immediately tell the white-haired man was already drifting back into la-la-land, words going in one ear and out the other. "..nevermind. why're you here?"

at the reminder, satoru seemingly brightens, head shooting back up as if he was just told he'd won the lottery.

"oh god, don't make that stupid face—" he pauses. "the fuck are you doing?" suguru might as well say goodbye to his self-care day, because now gojo was stripping in the middle of his living room, shirt thrown haphazardly onto the still-very-much-stained couch.

"just look!" suguru squints as his friend swivels around to face the wall, pushing his bangs away to get a better view of the— oh shit.

it takes the raven-haired man a second to process what he's seeing before shuffling forward, closely examining the achingly red, bulging scratch marks displayed sexily across the latter's back and shoulders. "no way.."

suguru knows the strongest sorcerer well enough to notice how he purposely didn't use reversed cursed technique on these scratches, just so it'd be obvious to anyone that caught a glimpse of what exactly occured. to his further dismay, he can already picture a smug and sweaty gojo walking around their local gym like this, proud simper on his pretty lips as he easily raises a pair of weights in his veiny hands.

a hiss escapes geto's mouth as he runs his finger down a particularly agitated one, knowing exactly how painful they could be after experiencing many hook-ups of his own. even so, satoru only licks his lips, neck craning to the side so he can pride himself in his friend's gobsmacked expression.

"damn, these are deep. you actually hit it?" suguru confirms, raising a celebratory hand.

turning back around, satoru daps him up, a massive smirk now on both their faces. "hell yeah, it was amazing."

it was impossible to predict what gojo would do next after barging through his front door — especially considering how many times he's done so — but this has to be the last thing suguru ever expected.

not that he was complaining — in fact, all of geto's temper and need for relaxation seemingly flew out the window, the feeling of proudness for his best friend overthrowing anything else.

and even if he hated to admit it, the way gojo was so eager to come over and announce his virginity loss to him was more than a little endearing, and dare he say cute.

"that's great, man. congrats." suguru leads him into the kitchen — still shamelessly shirtless — to grab them both a can of beer in celebration. while the white-haired man usually didn't get involved with any form of alcohol, this occasion was most definitely exception-worthy. "you made y/n cum too, right?"

an offended glare is shot his way. "duh, two times."

"huh. surprised you could last."

as suguru pours their drinks into two fragile cups, gojo exhales, not bothered in the slightest by his jab. "dude, same.." he admits dreamily. "she was so fuckin' tight and warm.. and oh— fuck, her moans? heavenly.. 'can't believe i didn't bust after the first minute.."

geto gulps, trying his best to ignore the mental image his brain was producing from his dirty words. you can't blame him — both of you were smoking hot, and he was a simple man.

even now, he could already imagine what you both looked like; panting and moaning, skin-slapping so loud that it echoed through the whole room, how blissed out you'd look as gojo's cock split you in t—

satoru's playful sigh cuts through the tensing air. "who knows sugs, maybe you'll have another kind of stain to worry about next time we're over~"

he's never snapped out of a daydream so quickly. "don't even joke about that."

over the next hour, the two men sat manspread on the stained couch, taking leisure sips while recalling satoru's final moments as a virgin — suguru giving out his secret tips and tricks along the way.

maybe sometime, suguru could offer some.. hands-on learning instead.

mlist! <- sugu.. how could u think abt ur bestie and his gf like that... tsk tsk tsk (if u enjoyed reblogs/comments r appreciated heheh)

13K notes · View notes

satorubrain · 11 months

Note

Back again 👀👀👀

How would Gojo react if his s/o dressed as him? Like he’s back from work or he walks in on them- can be up up you!

I can imagine the reader giggling to themselves while trying not to trip over Gojo’s trousers BC WHY IS HE SO TALL???

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Tags: Fluff, crack, reader is implied to be short but lets all agree that Satoru is just a fucking buff giant. Why is he built like that. I'll stop ranting-

Synopsis: Gojo sees you cosplaying as him

A/N: I had to add stupidity to this.

"Perfect!!" You exclaim styling your white hair wig. Now all that's remaining is, do work with Satoru's humongous clothes. He was already giant yet his uniform is fucking baggy, which just increases your problems.

The amount of pins you had to use to make his pants fit you already have your hands aching. His top is a fucking dress and you think you're gonna cry. But it's too late to stop. Continuing to put on the white mascara on your eyelashes and checking if the blindfolds fit you-

"FUCK YOU SATORU" You scream trying to get rid of the anger his size is giving you. You just want to get ready before he arrives home. You just tear up the blindfold since you're now too lazy to make proper adjustments, it's just easier if you tie up a knot.

Finally, you put on the ridiculous wig. Yes, it's absolutely absurd that you decided the wig hair length should make up for the difference in height.

Oh lord this get up is hilarious. You're shaking trying to control the laughter while looking at yourself in the mirror. Unwilling to ruin your mascara, you decide to get up and wait for Satoru in the living room. You text Satoru that you "need him" before putting on the blindfolds again, manspreading and sitting like him with a wide smile anticipating his arrival any time now.

It doesn't take him more than twenty minutes to hurriedly unlock your door. But this is not what he was envisioning, nonetheless he is not disappointed.

"Im hOO-" he stops mid sentence removing his blindfolds so he can properly look at you for a couple of seconds before bursting into his loud hyena laughter, clutching onto the door knob for support because lord you knocked the air out of his lungs in the most comical way. You would've looked so cute if it wasn't for that darned wig of yours.

"Laughing at the strongest? That's not a very good idea" You choke out trying to control your laughter, biting your inner cheek.

He's wheezing oh so loudly now and closing the door behind him, so he can go to you and sit beside you. He fails to form any sentence whenever he even glaces at you- both of you are now trying to control your laughter, just wanting to breathe for a moment.

"C-can I have a pic-" He wheezes so loudly he starts coughing and at this point both of you have tears of laughter running down your face.

"Yes you may, my dear FAN" you yell the newfound nickname with your cracking voice sending the both of you into another fit of laughter.

It takes you both a solid while to calm down before he can have a photoshoot with you while recording the entire thing with another camera so he doesn't miss out any moments.

You both also record a tiktok with team rocket's motto, but instead of meowth there's an abrupt cut of you tripping over his damned long pants and your wig falling off your head with a screech and him trying to save you- the video goes viral overnight.

What others don't see is how you tripping caused a loud rip of his pants from your toe till your knee as the stiff wig falls with a thud on the ground and you both are rolling on the floor laughing again.

You best believe this man has tucked away the clothes you wore today, as he would say, "to keep the memories safe" but lets ignore how he made the wig a table decoration.

I'm 5'3- so imagining a whole foot long wig standing is fucking killing me.

[REQUESTS ARE OPEN]

[MASTERLIST]

416 notes · View notes

chuluoyi · 1 month

Text

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 03:12 A.M 」

tw: pregnancy. just a little something based on ask~ gojo annoys you on daily basis, so now you return the favor and he can't refuse it bc you're his baby mama😋

a part of gojo's love entries

“satoru— your baby is hungry,” you pouted, poking his cheek repeatedly. “sa-to-ru!!”

it was 3 in the morning, and ideally, you would have been sleeping... only that suddenly you were awoken by rumbles from your growing belly.

yet your husband was still sound asleep without any care in the world, prompting you to poke him until you succeeded in making him hear you out.

satoru begrudgingly cracked his eyes open, still having his face tucked under the blanket and yawning. “ngh, sweets… what is it?”

his sleepy voice was thick, low and raspy. usually you’d swoon and leave a hickey or two on his neck but not now, as the overwhelming hunger made you almost curl.

“baby is craving mochi,” you said, eyes shining up to him ever so innocently. “get it for me, satoruuu.”

“oh?” if he wasn’t awake before, now he was after hearing your nagging tone drawling his name. he faced you and drew you closer. “what do you want again, hmm?”

“ice cream mochi!!”

“oooh that.” satoru scratched his head at the memory of him eating the last of it yesterday. “but we ran out of them, sweetheart… wait till morning, yeah? i’ll go to market to get some.”

“but...”

“can’t baby wait a few more hours, hmm?”

“no! want it— now!”

satoru blinked at your insistence. you looked positively adorable while sulking at him too.

“why mochi all of sudden, huh?” he decided to humor you. “you used to say they taste bland.”

“that’s because of your sperm infecting me,” you sullenly accused. “and don’t pretend you haven’t been feeding me mochi for weeks. baby likes it more than i thought.”

“hey! don’t bash my sperm! they did no wrong and completed the deed splendidly!”

“you’re just a one-time donor, don’t be smug.”

he whined and you huffed, before suddenly your stomach grumbled loudly and you curled up. “mmhm.”

“hey… what’s wrong?” satoru quickly sat up and placed his hand on your baby bump. “really hungry? wait, i’ll get you something to nibble on first.”

he rummaged through his work uniform and found several bite-sized chocolate bars he brought around, and unwrapped the foil. “here.”

you immediately devoured the treat to sate your hunger, but still, your baby longed for more—

“mochi…” you mumbled despondently, your expression turning heartbroken. and one second later satoru realized how much he wanted to squeeze your cheeks, and relented.

“okay, okay, sweets~” he gave your head several comforting pats, making you look up. “i’ll go and get the mochi, yeah? you stay put and wait for me, 'kay?”

“yay.” a little smile bloomed in your face and satoru chuckled, finding you so unbearably endearing.

and so, for you, he ventured out to the closest 24-hour convenience store, picking up some ice cream mochi along with other treats to replenish your stock, before teleporting back home.

he was expecting that you'd still be all sulky while waiting for him, but instead, he found you peacefully asleep, hogging his pillow.

each breath that caused your chest to rise and fall made you appear all the more vulnerable and soft in his eyes.

you looked so irrevocably precious to him. his sweet little wife... in that moment, satoru felt like he was the luckiest man alive, getting to have you as his.

“you naughty girl.” he let out an amused laugh before reclaiming his spot next to you. the hold you had over him— you made him go through the cold night air, and now you were monopolizing his pillow and he had to resume sleeping without one at all.

and yet all he could feel was love. for you and your baby, as he pulled you close to his chest.

“both of you sure love teaming up against me, huh?”