#he was also very interesting and he just talks in a way that is compelling and like ugh

[kieiswrite]

Here’s why I love convex:

They’re friends.

And yes, yes, the weird goofy disturbing nonsensical storylines from seasons five and six of possession and pranks and corporate domination compel me to this day, and after that they’ve been members of mayoral office and king’s court, allies and adversaries and roommates, but friendship is what ties it all together.

The extent of it is not always obvious on videos, because both of them tend to cut out much of the more casual interactions, but every time one of them streams, the other will be there. Scar will try (and fail) to murder Cub by spleef and they’ll start talking of anything and everything. They’ll go threaten Joe or sneak to the forbidden areas in Decked Out 2 and all the while there is an ease to every interaction; taking each other for granted in a good way. Scar compliments Cub’s genius and Cub leaves a sweet little message at the top of Scar’s castle. Always the first to comment on each other’s tweets, getting along in person swimmingly as well, these guys have been friends for years and years and it shows.

There are many wonderful friendships on Hermitcraft, of course - a lot of different flavors, and many that I enjoy. There’s a couple reasons why I especially like watching Scar and Cub together. One of those reasons is, weird enough, how understated their relationship is from the content creation standpoint. They hardly ever call attention to it; it’s just there. (Though to be fair, Cub does appear to be plenty obsessed with HotGuy.) They are always willing to run with each other’s bits, a great quality common on the server. I also very much enjoy how between them, there’s an assumption of competence (or at least no stated assumption of incompetence) - even if it might be unwarranted! Scar is prone to silliness but Cub rarely makes fun of him for it, and rarely calls attention to any mispronunciations or the like. Now, hermits making fun of each other is funny and never ill-intended, and I wouldn’t want every relationship to be like this, but the convex way of utmost mutual respect until suddenly an attempted murder is much to my taste.  

Okay. Okay Kie we get it, they are friends. So why ship it?

Right. So this is a real friendship between real life people. My interest does not lie in RPF - and even though HC sometimes skirts the line, especially with Convex there are many, many explicitly character bits. They may not have called it roleplay -

(Forgive the side note but, bless these ccs the mcyt as a whole has a very muddled idea of what roleplaying even is. Here’s Iskall85 on stream talking about his planned murder mystery game saying he hates roleplay because these scripted scenes don’t interest him but if there’s just a character he could embody, and pretend to be, without a script then he might enjoy that... Sir, acting out scripted scenes is called acting, what you describe is roleplay. Okay side not done)

So what they did on s5, they may not have called it roleplay but they wore vex heads and did voices and had a whirly transition to when the vex take them over, so I have a very easy time thinking of them as characters. And the friendship the players have happens to be the basis for how the characters act with each other. So I imagine characters Scar and Cub having this implicit respect, closeness and shared understanding. And clearly they like each other.

So let’s turn closeness to commitment to, if we want, devotion.

Why I make it romantic is simply because I like fictional romance and for me, the building blocks for friendship or romance are not much at all different. They’re repeatedly (business) partners, they live together, that’s enough for me. My own relationships have started from close friendships and I’d be hard pressed to explain what the “romance” component even is, so that surely colors my view. 

Also. Minecraft men are known for flirting with each other and they do it too - but that is not the main draw for me. I don’t need that, though I enjoy it when it happens.

Also! All this talk about friendship doesn’t mean I’d mainly write them friends to lovers, or in a kind of relationship that I would want. I am a great enjoyer of the more messed up parts of their stories, Convex as villains, as corrupted, as possessed. Mutual respect and care can be twisted or taken to an unhealthy extreme. But the dynamic between them is what drew me to them and what keeps me enjoying them together.

You’ve slept in the drafts for months. Now go, my rant, roam the world. Be free!

#convex #cubfan135 #goodtimeswithscar #hermitshipping #i need to study so naturally i'm writing essays on tumblr

[nighthaunting]

You ever have a moment where you reconsider something you thought a lot about in the past but then sort of turned your attention away from for a while, and your new perspective just blows the whole thing open?

Me thinking about russ and magnus during ATS/PB today after years of taking a break from HH/40K lore yielded one such series of revelations.

I was thinking about Betrayer and Russ' attempt to give Angron a lesson via the Night of the Wolf. I was thinking about Prospero Burns and Russ' belief that he's had a direct line to Magnus this whole time via Kaspar. I was thinking about that 'please'. And.

I know this is pretty much canon to the text but I've never before really Considered that one of Russ' motives in keeping this guy alive and sending him out on compliances with his Legion was (Russ believed at least) letting Magnus see the SW in action and hoping that this might influence him into trying to Avoid doing anything that might cause Russ to be sent after him.

In the past I've talked a lot about the SW keeping Kaspar around to see what would happen in terms of thinking the TS were up to something or going to do something to the Legion, which is very much the assumption the Chaos entity wanted them to make, but looking back I tbh think i slept on the concept of Russ, who canonically has taken out at least one of the Lost Primarchs in an event which is prefers not to speak (or at least the codex Strongly Implies that Russ has been used against another primarch before), and who also canonically went into the Night of the Wolf fully willing to die to make his point to Angron if only Angron could understand what he was doing.

I'm sort of compelled by the concept because in a sense Russ was letting (what he thought was) Magnus take a peek behind the barbarian mask he likes to put on, to see into a more genuine heart of his legion, letting his guard down a bit by allowing this obviously-compromised spy in. Much the same way he let the mask drop when he went to try and talk some sense into Angron, bringing up philosophy and reading and ideals that Russ' ignorant-but-noble barbarian persona would never admit to being interested in let alone reading.

And both times the gambit failed, in Magnus' case because it wasn't Magnus on the other end of the line, and in Angron's case because he was too far gone to really get what Russ was illustrating for him.

The whole thing was orchestrated so well, ironically giving the "proof" that Magnus was up to something via this sleeper agent spy that the SW were toting around with them, playing on Russ being curious enough to keep this guy around and connect the dots on the (false) links between this guy and the TS. I have this headcanon that Russ and Lorgar were actually fairly close, with Russ actually talking to Lorgar about Lorgar's writings, because he didn't seem surprised that Russ had read them and had thoughts on them in Betrayer, so I actually sort of like the idea that he had a hand in setting up the fall of Prospero? I like the tragedy of the idea that he at least had some input on the idea, being familiar enough with Russ to know he'd take the bait.

Which would make that a third time Russ got genuine with someone and had it either fail or be used against him...

#i'm sorry i love to torment him #russ' whole deal is that he's trapped in the mask he constructed for himself #and yet also unwilling to unmask himself and be genuine until its too late #he desperately doesn't want to kill another brother so he keeps trying to engineer shit to steer them away from situations #where he'd have to kill them #unfortunately that being the Only time he's genuine means it never fucking works #russ being Canonically Dionysian coded in the Apollonian-Dionysian duality truly coming back to bite him in the ass every time #sorry buddy but you're 'futility of fighting fate' chaotic unjust nature coded and all your angst about the role you were created to play #is entirely apt but also completely a self-fulfilling prophesy in terms of your ability to forge the relationships that would have saved yo #something something and this is why valdor tops but that's a whoooooole other essay #leman russ #warhammer 40k #russ’ hug brigade

[daily-midori-posting]

AM from IHNMAIMS

So this is gonna be my first attempt at actually writing something like meaningful at all? here. And as the title would suggest, im just gonna like ramble about AM because i love him so so much.

This whole obsession starts with me reading the short and then desperately trying to fin other media. After frankly a pretty short amount of digging, i come across the holy grail: that one weird ass radio play about IHNMAIMS that got made. This, of course, features by FAR my favorite rendition of the many different things called AM's "hate speech" its like a minute or two long but it just works SO FUCKING WELL.

So like on one hand, Am's tragedy is delivered just so well by Ellison. That repetition of "never for ME" kills me every time. And its fascinating too. The experiences he lists there provide insight into how AM views humanity, and what he views as its most valuable experiences. A really interesting thread through all 3 (cold water on hot days, Playing the piano, and sex) is the very tactile nature of all of them. AM can not only not see or smell or hear, at least not in the way humans can, but also has no physical sensations. He exists in a like permanent state of sensory deprivation. A terrifying concept, but its so interesting the priority this then makes him place upon The tactile pleasures of our world. Id imagine after feeling nothing for forever id long even for just the sensation of ANYTHING touching me, but that was never something i ever considered.

This alone would be enough to make a really compelling depiction of an evil AI, something that even today is pretty lacking. However even that is just the beginning!!! at the very very opening AM mentions how he is lacking a "body" , "senses", and most importantly "feeling". and so that last paragraph talked about how those first two were interesting for me, but that last bit, "feeling" is really what i think cemented my obsession with this character. Because what is AM most known for? his HATE speech. A FEELING. AM is so blinded by his jealous rage towards mankind he fails to realize that he is in fact IN a jealous rage! And so this is the true tragedy of AM, that his wishes are, to at least some extant, fufilled but the circumstances in which he has achieved them lead him to be unable to reap the benefits. AM experiences the worst of humanity and fails to realize that all of that comes with humanity as well as the good parts, and as such he will rot away lamenting the lack of one of his only true possessions.

I hope any of that was interesting! if it wasn't you should, yknow, tell me and then if you really feel up too it maybe give some advice? No matter what, thanks for taking the time to read my odd ideas and i hope you have a great day!

#IHNMAIMS

[communistkenobi]

more and more I’ve been wanting to go by they/them but I don’t want to give cis people the wrong idea that I’m not actually a man because I know they would not fucking behave

#It was such a fight to get people to call me he/him that I’m scared to switch again #but like eugh. I’ve really not been liking it lately #like I don’t consider he/him misgendering but it’s just like a strategic allowance. Like it’s fine but not my preferred way to be addressed #I feel like I went super hardcore into being a binary trans person and now that I’m a few years deep into transition #I’m finding a lot of things about being a man not compelling or interesting at all #it was a refuge from cishood but now that I’m secured away from it I don’t find masculinity all that interesting #I don’t experience the trans euphoria I hear people talk about it’s more like the absence of despair #which is not the same thing #+ also going by they/them professionally would just be outting myself publicly on a daily basis #and the last time that happened well. It was very bad lol

[kenobion]

Andrew Garfield on CBS Sunday Morning

#this interview was good if you watch it - the part where he talks about his mom is so poignant #andrew garfield #my gifs #and they're interviewing in the theatre where Rent debuted #so there's a lot of meaning there #there are some funny moments in it too #I just love this kind of video #where he is most himself #his roles are very compelling but I'm most interested in the person behind them #seeing these glimpses warms my mushy little heart #because he is undeniably physically stunning #but he's so sweet and thoughtful and smart and in touch with his emotions #and that's what really compels me about him #it's no one things it's all of them together #and I think seeing a glimpse of that in No Way Home is what made me like him so #let me love him please #also 12/10 would touch his hair here #gooooooood

[silenthillbunni]

📚🎀💕

#hmm there's this librarian working at my local library.... #and i know him from before. i was in a bookclub that he was in charge of when i was like 14 #the books he chose are the reason i started reading again after a slump of like 2 years #he was always really nice and i felt an affinity w him bc he seemed to also be kinda awkward etc skksks #a couple of years later i was supposed to be in another bookclub that he lead but i ended up never going #he was very nice and tried saying hi to me and smalltalk etc for a while after #but since i was at that time really coming into my avoidant personality disorder #i was just weird and non responsive so obviously we just stopped interacting #however... he still works at the library and i've been seing him every time im there lately #he is SO cool and he has really grown into himself more and he is genuinely nice to ppl #also he was wearing a t-shirt today and i saw that he has tattoos @_@ #what im getting is that i think that i have a crush on him again skskksks #i did have a crush on him when i was 14 but it feels more appropriate now that im 25 lol #idk his exact age but he's younger. maybe in his early 30s i'd guess #*not younger that me younger than the librarian stereotype i mean lmao #but yeah my crush on him kinda revived and now im so sad bc i could've known him!!! i could've been able to talk to him #but i messed it up years ago 😔 so now it'd just be strange to strike up a convo. + im not sure he remembers me anymore #sighhhh. everytime i go to the library tho im like.. there he is... so dreamy.. he loves books and reading... #he was also very interesting and he just talks in a way that is compelling and like ugh #UGHHHHHH

[callixton]

passion could be good if it was gay and i don’t really remember my reasoning anymore but i do stand by it

#genderbend it either way and it gets better #there’s a compelling reason for giorgio to be swayed by fosca if he’s a man and has never experienced this attraction before #also makes clara’s sympathy towards fosca very interesting. and fosca’s character would be less sexist/ableist i feel #actually Everyone’s treatment of giorgio re: fosca becomes a little harder to justify but Way more interesting if he’s a man. imo #or not even just that if they’re the same gender in general #and if giorgio is a woman WELL. fosca immediately becomes more sympathetic bc we understand why it’s impossible for her to let go #it’s still fucked up either way but now it’s much more interesting #turns out i do remember some of my reasoning. this was not all of it #also tbh my memory of the plot Is shaky #ted talks #passion

[ambrosiagourmet]

I've been thinking about Laios' succubus lately. Mulling it over a bit.

Because I've seen these pages brought up a fair bit, but almost entirely in the context of shipping (on all sides, really). And I really want to understand what they are doing for the story beyond that.

When I went back to reread the scene and section, a few things caught my interest: the way Laios responds to both forms of his succubus, the themes of the volume the chapter is found in, and the other events of the chapter itself.

So let's dive into those three things, and what I think they say about the succubus scene's purpose.

Laios is never fully frozen by the succubus

So. If you compare Marcille and Chilchuck's reactions...

to Laios':

-

There is a difference. Sure, the basics may look the same once it turns into Scylla Marcille, but even then, it functions differently.

Chilchuck and Marcille are completely frozen once they catch sight of their succubus. Izutsumi, as well, isn't able to look away, and completely freezes up once her 'mom' starts talking to her. As Chilchuck describes, "just looking at them makes you unable to move."

And yet, Scylla Marcille has to actively convince Laios to comply. He even looks away from her at one point!

Laios accepts this succubus, but he is never actually helpless to it in the same way. Taken in? Convinced? Sure, at least enough to let things happen that he probably should question more than he does. But magically compelled? Not really. Not the same way as everyone else is. So that's interesting. But let's move on for now.

2. Volume 9 is all about drive and desire

I don't often look at chapters within the context of the volume they are included in, but I think there's some really fun things to be found with that perspective in mind.

For one, volume 9 starts with an exploration of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

And ends with a question of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

It's also very concerned in general with questions of why people do what they do. Why they are in the dungeon, why they are with the people they are with, why they stay, what they fight for.

In addition to Laios, we see it with Marcille...

Izutsumi

Kabru

and Mithrun

Hell, we even get it for the demon!

It's certainly not the only volume concerned with desires and motives, but it is particularly focused on these ideas.

The succubus scene fits quite well into the ongoing question about desires, especially Laios' desires. It is even placed at an interesting spot within the volume. The volume is six chapters long, and the scene takes place at the start of the 4th chapter. It's almost smack-dab in the middle.

With all this in mind, it is interesting that, with both versions of the succubus Marcille, it's not totally clear which parts of her Laios is rejecting.

The first version of Marcille looks human, but Laios attacks when he identifies her as a monster. The second Marcille looks like a monster, but he seems to believe that she is the real (human)(ish) person that he knows. So is he rejecting the monster at first, and then accepting the person? Or is he rejecting humanity and only interested in the monstrous?

Something to consider as we look at the next point...

3. the rest of the chapter is a seduction, too

This is one of those things that might not be apparent on a first reading, but is crystal clear on a revisit. We see the succubus try and charm Laios over 7 pages, and then see the Winged Lion do the same thing for the next 19.

Much like the succubus, it offers the mingling of monsters and humans. Much like the succubus, it offers belonging.

(and this is the point where I absolutely must also link this post by fumifooms on the succubus, which has some great ideas on how the scene is informed by Laios' trauma and desire for acceptance!!!)

But, back to the point. The Winged Lion wants to feed on Laios just as much as the succubus did, and it uses similar strategies to try and make that happen. Though this chapter isn't really the turning point for the next Lord of the Dungeon (it is Marcille who will, eventually, become the Lion's next victim), it certainly behaves like it is.

Laios is convinced. The succubus gets its meal. By the end of the volume, the reader begins to understand how concerning his desires are. Together, it is all very good at building up that sense of dread and pending disaster, as we see exactly how and why Laios might just fall into the Lion's open arms and bring about the end of the world.

-

So that's the three things I noticed. But there's still something I want to touch on by looking at the way these observations overlap, and what they reveal, together.

As I said, by the end of the volume, you can feel the tension growing. Just as Kabru and Mithrun do, you look back for an answer to the questions that have been built, chapter by chapter: why is Laios here? Where will his loyalties fall? This chapter, and scene, seem to prove the inevitable truth: he will choose the monster, of course. He will choose the seductive, easy power of the Winged Lion.

But the details of what actually happens tell different story: one in which the Lion is wrong.

First, as a reminder - even in Scylla Marcille mode, the succubus never fully entrances Laios. It convinces him, but it doesn't have him completely under its thrall.

Similarly, in the dream, the Lion does convince Laios to embrace the world he is offering. But even within that dream, Laios continues to ask questions that will be vital to him later. It is because of those questions that Laios comes to a new understanding about Thistle.

And it's this realization that he cites later as part of his reason for refusing the Lion's offer.

He is thinking through things the entire time, just like he continues to question the succubus even after it turns into Scylla Marcille.

Laios also expresses an interesting reason for why he wants to see the future of this world. He's not just invested because it would mean people liking what he likes, or him getting to spend time with monsters. The thought that comes immediately before his acceptance is about what he wants for monsters and people.

I don't think it's a coincidence that this statement - "we're living beings that share the same world, but all we can do is keep killing each other" - can apply to the various humans races just as much as it does to humans and monsters. The thing he is thinking about here isn't just a matter of his personal daydreams. It's an idea that underpins every conflict in the story.

Laios caring about how people as well as monsters in this manner is something that the Lion gets wrong every time. Even at the end, he still frames Laios' desires entirely around hating people and loving monsters.

The Lion has heard him express an opinion about the future of the world! It happened right there in the dream, right in front of him! He just didn't take it seriously, and didn't view it through any lens other than "Laios likes monsters more".

He's convinced that he understands how to get to Laios. Maybe the Lion can't truly see everything, or maybe his vision into everyone's deepest desires has made it hard for him to realize how much choice still matters. That people can, and do, choose which desires to act on, and how to act on them.

Whatever the case, he's wrong about Laios, and the story shows us this over and over again.

After all, look at how the succubus interaction plays out:

A monster uses Marcille to appeal to Laios...

He realizes that something about the situation is wrong, and rejects her.

It changes strategies, and makes new offer: to turn him into a monster.

It also assures him that his friends are, or will be, taken care of.

He accepts. Or rather, allows the monster to have its way with him.

But Laios is not as helpless as he initially appears, and what the Lion thinks is a successful seduction also contains the seed of an idea that will allow Laios to later resist him.

We even get to see Izutsumi playing a similar role in both instances, as the one person fully able to take action in the face to the illusion.

The story lays out what is going happen, and then explicitly tells us that the demon and the succubus are thematically related.

The chapter performs a great sleight of hand here - everything about it seems to indicate that Laios is doomed give in to the option to have his deepest desires realized. But if you look closer, it also contains the evidence that he won't. There's a lot more going on for him.

Yes, he still falls for obvious tricks. He is still extremely into monsters, and he still doesn't feel like he fits in with other people. He may, deep down, crave to surrender to the monstrous - to let it absorb him. But he questions more than he seems to. He considers more than people realize. He cares so much more than anyone gives him credit for.

And I think this is part of why we see the succubus called back to so many times, especially with the wolf head addition to his Monster Form, which he specifically added due to his encounter with the Scylla Marcille.

This all stays with Laios. It doesn't just foreshadow the path of the story, it is fundamental to how and why he walks that path. It's not about him choosing monsters, and it's not about him choosing people. It's about how he considers both, and cares about both.

And it's about the forces that think they already know his answer. Mithrun and Kabru. The Winged Lion. The succubus.

It's about how they are wrong.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #laios touden #winged lion #dunmeshi analysis

[emmafrostyyy]

y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

#when he gets called by omeluum “child of the dark” and her “child of the stars” like yeah..the squid man is being literal but he Gets It fr. #lae'zel #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #astarion ancunin #astarion x lae'zel #lae'zel x astarion #the rarest of rarepairs they dont even got a ship name...this is so tragique we need to discuss the pathos and potential of this pairing #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 astarion #also im a sucker for stoic knight/court darling trope and whatever variations of it yeah #bloodbruise

[lipringlrh]

'tis the damn season | OP81

summary: cold weather and old towns reunite an old love. based on ‘tis the damn season by taylor swift.

pairing: oscar piastri x ex!reader

an: start of my winter/chirstmas series and evermore series!! i'm writing more, especically for oscar. also, i apologise for my absence, im in the middle of exams atm :/

word count: 2.1k

warnings: none!

feedback appreciated!!!

…

It had been a long time coming, seeing Oscar again. You were surprised you hadn’t run into him in other places around the country, during his breaks between races, but you didn’t know enough about him anymore to properly comment.

He hadn't been back in a while, you noticed from his instagram. You didn't like knowing what he was up to but you couldn't help but check everytime he showed up on your feed.

The first time you saw him was in a coffee shop, the one you use to frequent when you were together. You didn’t talk; you didn’t even meet eye to eye. You didn’t know if he saw you, you presumed he did but just had no interest in talking to you again. You walked right past him, surely he would’ve seen you, you thought.

He did see you but only to watch you leave. He was too focused on his phone to notice any of his surroundings whilst inside, it was only when you almost brushed past him that he felt an urge to look up. Possibly due to your familiar perfume or the familiar jacket you always wore, he didn’t consciously know, but the urge compelled him like no other. He watched you walk away, drink in hand, fighting the drive to run after you. He knew you’d seen him, he could feel it, but you didn’t say anything, using that as an excuse to hold back.

The second time you saw him was a shock too. You were parked in the rundown carpark behind the old church on the way to the early Sunday market. It was a tradition that you always dragged Oscar along to, every time parking in the same spot, the one in the top left-hand corner where the car lines seemed the least jagged, instead of the actual market's carpark, which was always too packed for your liking.

Oscar had been running around the town like a madman, visiting every place you two had ever been together. He didn’t understand it but some force inside him wanted to see you again. He didn’t know why or for what but deep down he knew he had to see you.

He pulled into the carpark, seeing very few cars parked there. He drove towards the top left but his heart dropped seeing a black toyota celica in your spot. It never crossed his mind it could’ve been you.

He bit his lip, instead parking along the same row but closer to the other side. He noticed someone in the car using the mirror in the sun visor before climbing out. He immediately recognised the jacket. How couldn’t he? Especially after he was the one who bought it for you all that time ago.

He couldn’t move. He felt frozen. His heart swelled with adoration yet he didn’t understand why. He watched you walk away again, slowly as though not the slip on the thin sheet of ice on the ground. He watched as you turned around the corner towards the market, desperate to follow but realising he was probably too late and would lose you in the crowds of people.

Instead he sat there for an amount of time he couldn’t count. He watched more cars pull in and park up and others drive away, critiquing each for just using it as a carpark and not loving it as he did. He felt stupid for thinking it but he couldn’t help it.

He almost missed you walking back towards your car as he was too focused on watching an old bmw fail to park well. He would’ve missed you completely if it wasn’t for your slight slip on the side of your pavement. You managed to catch yourself easily before brushing yourself off, peering around and hoping no one saw.

He jumped out of his car as fast as light, almost slipping himself in the process. He forgot to lock his car and just bolted toward you. As he got closer he began screaming your name whilst waving his arms, making sure you couldn’t miss him.

You recognised his voice instantly, freezing for a moment, your hand about to open your car door, before turning around to face him.

You waved back, trying not to laugh to yourself at his repeated slips on the ice due to his speed trying to reach you.

He was eventually in front of you, taking you all properly for the first time in what felt like years. He noticed you bought a new scarf: a burgundy-red one with tassels at the end. It looked warm and he couldn’t help but feel glad you were keeping cozy.

“Hi,” he spoke first, awkward as ever. His eyes were flicking everywhere but your own, barely keeping locked on anything for more than a split second.

You laughed lightly at his awkward, flustered state, glad he was the same as before, “hi, Oscar.”

His whole face brightened at hearing his name fall from your lips. He went red, smiling brighter than the sun. His eyes met yours and he just smiled, not saying anything in return.

“Have you been to the market yet? It’s gotten good again, especially now it’s getting colder,” you smiled, trying to make gentle conversation. You missed Oscar, you really did, but you thought any long conversation with him would throw you back into the deep end of feelings and you didn’t know if you could handle that.

“I was just about to, I haven’t been in a while,” he paused, looking like he wanted to say more so you kept quiet, waiting for him to continue, “do you- do you want to show me around?”

“Well, it’s pretty much the same layout as before, same people too-“

“I want you to show me around.” He stated, firmer but still soft, hoping you’d take the hint.

You nodded and began leading him towards the market again, reminiscing on old times; your time at the markets before, old snow days, and your relationship. It didn’t once feel wrong with him, even when he got awkward, the space was never awkward, it felt comforting and right.

You’d made your way around a lot of the stores, Oscar buying a few handmade cards he saw whilst you bought a mini trinket you debated buying your first time around.

You eventually reached the stall where you bought the scarf and he couldn’t help but notice the matching hat. It was the same colour with a matching pompom.

He picked up, walking closer to you so he could place it over your head, ignoring your complaints. He tugged it down, realised he pulled it too far down your forehead and pushed it back, messing up your hair until little bits were sticking out the front of the hat. He lifted the front of the hat, moving your hair around, placing it in the perfect position.

It was all out of your control but his closeness to you and ways he could fluster you with barely a touch still amazed you.

“Gorgeous,” he mumbled, his eyes trained on you, locking with yours rather than the hat.

He turned back towards the stall, ignoring your obvious flushed state, and finding the person selling all the hand-knitted woollens.

She was on older lady, possibly in her 60s, possibly in her 70s. She looked sweet, her demeanour radiating happiness.

“We’ll take it,” he told her, reaching for his wallet. You immediately tried to stop him, taking out your own wallet. It was a gorgeous hat, you regretted not buying it earlier, but you felt guilty for making him pay when you’ve only just seen each other again.

“Ignore her,” he grinned at the lady, handing her a note and a few coins.

She only smiled back, handing him a pre-handwritten receipt, “you two are the cutest couple around here. Don’t let my son and his girlfriend hear though.”

Oscar just smiled even more, laughing slightly before thanking her and putting his wallet back in his pocket. You were slightly shocked but just let it happen, smiling at the lady as you both walked away.

You carried on around the market, in your matching scarf and hat, completely ignoring whatever just happened. Oscar tried to buy you anything your eyes seemed to land on for more than a few seconds but you refused each time, feeling guilty.

Oscar noticed your growing irritation, he began to slow down his offers and take it easier with you, hoping he wasn't the cause.

You finished around the rest of the stalls rather quickly as Oscar didn’t have much of an interest in anything that wasn’t you. You began walking back to your cars, you quieter than before, and Oscar just locked in staring at you.

You looked down for most of the walk, deciding to not try and talk until your entering the car park again.

“Thank you, Oscar, but you didn’t need to buy me the hat. Let me pay you back please,” you asked, reaching for your purse.

He just shook his head, dismissing it as absurdity, “don’t be silly.”

“Oscar-"

“No, I told you I’d buy you anything you want, remember?” he told you with full certainty. You were reaching your car now and you both hated it, not wanting to leave each other.

You sighed, “that was when we were together, Osc, not anymore.”

He ignored every word you said, focusing on the old nickname that came out of your mouth. It made his heart beat faster and his palms get sweaty but he didn’t care, he loved it.

“Let’s be together again then,” he spoke, as it was the easiest thing he’d ever suggested. As much as you’d love it, all you could think about was the endless amount of things that could go wrong. You couldn’t handle another heartbreak, especially not an Oscar induced heartbreak. You’d never struggled particularly hardly to get over anything until it came to him. When you broke up, it shattered you both and you didn’t think you could handle that again.

“But- but what if-”

“What ifs are stupid. I know it didn’t work before but it can work again. I promise you everything that I will make this work, “ he spoke sincerely, finally reaching your car once again.

He watched your face for any signs he could recognise. He could feel your thoughts racing like second hand nature but he could see the feeling of love on your face, knowing you want this just as much as he does, it was just your own thoughts blocking you.

“I’ll show it to you, I'll prove it to you how much I want this and how I won’t give you up a second time. Give me until next weekend and I’ll show you how much I’m willing to give you my all in this,” he promised knowing he’d never mean anything this much.

Everything he felt was flowing back to him and he couldn’t imagine a life without you in it again. He knew he had been missing something and deep down he always knew it was you.

You were leant on your car, letting it hold up your weight. You were fiddling with your fingers, messing with anything to avoid looking at him. You wanted to think rationally but you knew looking up at him would mean it would all be over. You knew you loved him but you couldn’t go though another heartbreak again.

He grabbed your hands and felt immediate warmth spread all throughout him, blocking out the freezing air around him.

“Okay,” you whispered, the smile that was ghosting your face becoming full formed and beaming. You finally looked up at him and noticed he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

He pulled you in for a hug, holding you tighter than ever before. He head rested against yours and he wanted to keep it like that forever.

“Thank you,” he whispered, grateful for the opportunity and unable to express his pure admiration for you.

“There’s no need to thank me, Osc, I’d run back to you a thousands times if I could,” you replied in full honestly, your whole body full of love to give him.

“So does that mean you’ll spend the day with me? I need to get groceries and I need someone to guide me around the shop aisles.”

You laughed against him, squeezing him that little bit tighter, never wanting to let him go again.

He smiles against you, happy to hold you again, “you think I’m joking, I’m absolutely serious.”

…

feedback appreciated !!

#oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri angst #oscar piastri #oscar piastri smut #oscar piastri x yn #oscar piastri fanfic #f1 angst #f1 fluff #f1 smut #oscar piastri x you #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #oscar piastri imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fluff #formula one #formula one angst #formula 1 x reader #formula one smut #formula one x reader #lando norris #formula 1 #my writing #f1 #forumla one #charles leclerc #max verstappen

[anystalker707]

i need you

Pairing: Crocodile x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: It's been a while since Crocodile last saw his partner, and they don't seem to be very happy. Tags: light angst / comfort / he's very sweet ok

oneshot for @gojo-mochi 's dilfcember event

MASTERLIST

          “There you are,” Crocodile exhaled, raising his eyebrows lightly without trying to hide his expression of tiredness. He’d been telling you to come to greet him properly ever since he got back home, eyes narrowing at your form by a doorway when he decided he was a little too tired to chase you around and waste energy in the way; he knew it from experience. He took a long drag from the cigar, letting the smoke burn his lungs before he slowly blew it out through his mouth—the room had wide windows, thankfully, quickly dispersing the smoke. It was a price to pay to be around him.

Despite the warmth in Crocodile’s eyes, you still stood there quietly for a moment with a discomfort twisting in your chest while something heaved under your eyes. It’d been quite a while since you’d seen him properly, counting the times he only showed up for a few minutes a day or late at night to leave early in the morning. He sat behind that massive desk with piles of paper stacked on it, which was a familiar sight you’d missed.

“Come on.” He patted his thigh, eyebrows furrowing a little as he nodded in encouragement, and maybe you’d ignored things for long enough now. He straightened his posture on the wide armchair once you sat on his thigh, humming in appreciation.

“That’s my good one.” His hand ran up and down your back a couple of times before it settled down around your waist.

There were a few wanted papers and documents with the Marine stamp before him on his desk, and Crocodile didn’t bother to close the folder because he didn’t have anything to hide from you. Either way, you weren’t interested in it either, running your eyes over the desk while he talked. He had just come back, and the desk was already full of stuff that demanded attention, which was supposed to be yours.

“Now, now,” Crocodile exhaled and reached over to the ashtray. The bright red sparkles of the cigar’s tip extinguished against the bottom of the ashtray, turning gray like the remaining in there and serving as a base for the now discarded cigar. “What’s gotten my doll feeling all blue?”

Rough fingertips pressed to your jaw in a light touch and turned your face toward him, allowing Crocodile to study your expression through half-lidded eyes; worry mixed with intrigue lingering in his gaze. His thumb ran across your cheek a couple of times, index finger under your chin to tilt your head up. Despite all of that, your eyes still focused on the painting that hung on the wall behind his chair.

“What can I do for you, hm?” Crocodile’s deep voice had a caring tone in it that always made you melt a little bit, even more so with those loving touches. It was quiet in the room—his office was wide but crumpled, with lavish carpets and curtains, while his regarded book collection also took great space, neatly organized on the shelves along with some items and photographs.

Your eyes finally met Crocodile’s, and despite the way your heart fluttered, the discomfort twisted inside your chest again, so your eyes immediately fell to the table once more. Something heaved inside you, compelling you to curl up in Crocodile’s lap.

A few theories of what bothered you swirled in Crocodile’s head, but he wasn’t sure what to believe, so he opted not to conclude anything for now. With a soft sigh, he opted to go for what he usually did, to comfort you. His fingers gently played with your hair before he started massaging your scalp gently, eventually rubbing the back of your neck soothingly. He was about to say something, but the words died in his throat the moment you started relaxing in his arms. 

That’s it, Crocodile mentally said, wrapping an arm around your waist to hug you closer to him while he rubbed circles into your back, letting your head rest against his chest. He did it for what felt like hours, and nothing ever felt like too much if it meant it was for you. All it brought was the relief to see you melt into his arms and slowly let go of whatever bothered you.

“My love,” he whispered, cupping your face to hold your head closer to his chest as he pressed a kiss to the top of it, and what he received in response pleased him. Your hands gently gripped his pullover vest while you nuzzled into his chest.

Crocodile let the silence sink in for a moment, shoulders relaxing as he felt you comfortable in his arms until the soft sound of sniffling cut through the peaceful atmosphere. His lips pressed together in a frown as he caressed your hair a little longer before pulling away just enough to take a look at your face.

“My love, what’s wrong?” The back of Crocodile’s fingers ran along your cheeks to catch your tears, but they were soon dismissed when you pressed your face to his chest instead, wetting the soft yarn of his top with your tears, but he couldn’t even bring himself into worrying about that. “Dearest,” he exhaled softly, voice laced with frustration as his hand tightened around your waist as if to anchor you to him because it was everything he could do, silent with his thoughts as he offered you what he could for now.

Crocodile’s eyes fixed on the papers on the desk without really paying attention to them, just choosing them as a spot to rest his eyes on while he tried to sort out his thoughts, which wasn’t easy. All the stress from the past weeks clouded his thoughts in a way only you could help him go back to a peaceful state of mind, but for now, he fought through the sharp headache that attacked his temples to focus on you. You were more important, after all. What would be of him without you?

Something brought Crocodile back to reality, but your cries were too incoherent to be comprehensible. He blinked a couple of times and looked down at you, relaxing his brow and his jaw. “Yes, my love? Can you repeat that for me?”

“...you, hm? Where were you?” You sniffled a little bit, gulping. “Did you get tired of me? Did I do something wrong? Why would you—” Cut off by a sob, you just gave up on talking and let out a groan of frustration instead.

Now, it started making more sense. A soft breath escaped Crocodile’s nose as the realization slowly set in, and he brought a hand up to his face, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose and then ran his fingers along his eyebrows before his hand lowered to your cheek to tilt your head up. The sight of your teary eyes made his heart ache and guilt heave over his shoulders.

“Oh, dearest,” he breathed, shaking his head lightly. “I’m deeply sorry, you know how things can run out of control, and you also know that my love for you is never-ending. I would never think about leaving.” He adjusted you on his lap to kiss your forehead while wiping your tears away once more. “I long for you, but I also can’t involve you in problems either. I rather solve them first and then come back to m—”

“So what?” You sniffled, looking at him in the eyes. “So I have to suffer because you’re away? Sit and wait and…” You kept ranting, and Crocodile knew you didn’t mean it, he knew what spilled from your mouth resulted from the desperation of going so many days without him, from the hurt of the way your feelings and thoughts twisted during his absence, and he wished he’d been there before to comfort you before this mess had been created.

“I’m sorry, dearest,” Crocodile said softly, and he would try to talk and argue if you weren’t so caught up in emotions, so he just kissed your tears away, holding you close until the crying babbling turned into soft sobs, and you relaxed in his arms again.

There wasn’t a lot Crocodile could decipher in your muttering, but he could make out the whiny ‘I need you’ whispered next to his ear when your arms wrapped tightly around his neck. You clung to him tightly, making his emotions waver in ways he wished they wouldn’t, but he accepted the vulnerability you caused him. Loving someone had a price, and he wasn’t afraid of paying it if it meant having you.

“I’m here,” Crocodile whispered as he gently ran his hand up and down your back until your back wasn’t shuddering with sobs anymore. “That’s it, dearest,” he whispered as his fingers massaged the back of your neck. “I’m here for you now, and I won’t be leaving soon.”

“I don’t want you to ever leave,” your weak whimpers were muffled against his shoulder, and Crocodile sighed.

“We can talk about it later,” he breathed, knowing it was better to discuss it when both of you had your emotions in order rather than make empty promises for a momentary peace. “Come on,” he said as he shifted a little to hold you in his arms properly so that he could stand up, breath hitching a little as he kept you against his chest on his way out of the office. His paperwork wasn’t as important as you were. “Let’s relax for now, how about that? Have you eaten anything today?”

Your arms were still loosely wrapped around Crocodile’s neck, one of them looser so that you could bury your face into the crook of it, inhaling his scent to calm yourself down. Hesitantly, you shook your head, taking in a deep breath to brace yourself for the inevitable disappointment that would come from him. Your stomach churned again just at the thought of food, but maybe things would be fine now.

There, however, was no disappointment in Crocodile’s hum as he changed his route to the kitchen. “Then we must eat first. We can also take a shower, then go to sleep. How about that, hm? Will that help my sweetheart?”

Your heart fluttered at his words, and you nodded with a weak hum, sighing as you closed your eyes and let the tension go of your muscles.

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

#one piece #crocodile #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #gender neutral #crocodile x reader #crocodile x male reader #one piece x reader #imagine #oneshot #fan fic #fan fiction

[punkitt-is-here]

Is there some kind of in-show detail (or comics I guess? Don’t know too much about MLP lore) that makes everyone think Big Mac / Orchard Blossom is trans or is this just a widely accepted fanon thing? Love it either way just wondering if there’s an origin

okay, quick and dirty and by no means comprehensive, but my reasoning comes from two Season 5 episodes, Brotherhooves Social and Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?

In Brotherhooves, Mac desires the same kind of admiration that AJ gets from Applebloom and through a series of mental gymnastics decides his best option for this is dressing up as Orchard Blossom, a Dolly-Parton-lookin' horse gal who is exceedingly confident and talkative, extremely energetic, and also like kind of flirty from what I remember? Mac basically transforms into a completely different person. In the end its revealed he didn't even have to do that because people who aren't someones actual sister have always been allowed in the competition.

In DPDoMS, the entire town is trapped in a shared dream and they're told they can imagine anything, and the first thing Mac does is transform into an alicorn princess, an exclusively female (from what we've seen) type of pony. There's also some misc. stuff here and there, like how seems to enjoy cute or effeminate things like Smartypants as long as no one sees him doing it, and how little he talks (which I've seen folks HC as him not enjoying his own voice).

Was this all a secret plan by the writers to showcase a closeted trans character? Nah, almost assuredly not. It's all mostly jokes around a big manly character having interests in and doing things that are stereotypically very non-masculine. But! I think that's the fun of it. As a rural trans woman, I saw those little dots and thought that connecting them let to a genuinely very compelling idea of a trans character, and I'm glad other folks have had the same idea to take the canon and see where it takes us. :)

#my posts #mlp #big macintosh #horsetalk #orchard blossom #asks #anon

[thechekhov]

Chekhov Reads Dungeon Meshi: CH46

D....dark Laios?

I mean, you DID consent!

The fact that ghosts can pass through walls and take other things with them... it kind of elicits another type of organism. Like, what can pass through cell walls? What other parts of the body can just yoink stuff from one place and bring it to another?

Congrats! It's all just been a dream!

I'm sorry what the SHIT?!?!?

Well, I-- .... yeah, I GUESS.

Though it looks more like one of those carousel horses.

I think this is probably still inside the dungeon. Very... DEEP. Inside the dungeon.

What? WHAT?! These things are like regular animals down here???

Oh, I--hm. I see.

Ordered by WHOMST?

Is this just an entire society of (humans??? ghosts?) that lives here in the dungeon deep? Is there still a king under the mountain? Are the rumors of the king dying not true at all?

........or are these people and descendants of adventurers who came in but were never able to leave? And the fact that Senshi points out that none of them are old.... are they ageing?

Laios, Senshi n--...... welp. There they go.

Bless this man and his absolutely non sexual obsession with monsters. But.

Izutsumi, who is a human-level intellect beastkin (though she's low on wisdom and patience....) is being very.... beast-ly and soft here. She's being magically compelled, presumably, to chill the fuck out.

Which means all these monsters are also under the same effect? Isn't that a little fucked up? They're basically under a permanent drugged effect.

Also. Hm. 'short lifespan' is....relative. Short lifespan compared to what? Immortality?

Orcs know this place exists....?

These people planting things for fun means they're absolutely trapped here like spirits.

Keeping up appearances for. Whom.

These poor people have no new incomers to talk to, huh.

Oh, I uh---- ................ hm. THat's not at all what I was imagining either.

Fashion is cyclical after all I guess....

Mmmmm. Mmmm-hmmmMMM.

WHEEEEZXE

Knowing I've finally hit these two absolutely iconic panels... amazing.

......I guess it can only do so much to make her docile...... she still doesn't like Laios.

Why does he look familiar...?

....so Derghal had a son. And a grandson. So then why is there a bid for the throne...?

Laios. Laios, is milking the minotaur the ONLY thing you did? Or was there more to it? Laios.

It's interesting. That bartender said he was 600 when he started his now-400 year old ale. So. That means they're 1000 years old.

That means that they're about as long lived as elves? Haven't gone mad yet. But that's still a long time.

That's kinda worse, yeah, but a loss of the self is a type of death, in a way...? So....

The most throwback of all time.

Actually, I feel like that's been there for a while, although it didn't always look EXACTLY like a lion's head. I feel like the little living armor he keeps in there made it that design? But how would it do that on purpose?

this is what it looked like some chapters back. Yeah, it's been sculpting into a lion's mane for a while now.... Ohohohoh playing the long game are we? 👀

Ah, it's not a wolf. How tragic for you, Laios. It'll never work out.

Also, damn, those wings sure be lookin like Falin's very non-dragon wings. What a wild coincidence. I'm sure that doesn't mean anything. :)

laughing hysterically. This poor guy can't get a break. He's been running from responsibility and inheritance for his entire life and it still catches up and trips him purposefully.

There is definitely a certain amount of tragedy there, yeah. These people aren't asking Laios for help because it's easier. They're legitimately stuck in a nightmare scenario. Unless you're someone who can get pleasure from other avenues, living all that time without the basic needs will drive a person mad. Elves live just as long, presumably, but they're still able to eat, I assume.

I'm honestly more surprised they're all as sane as they are.

.......King of Forgor.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi liveblog #dungeon meshi quick reacts #chekhov reads dungeon meshi

[ogygian]

god there's so much queer subtext in flint & silver's relationship. i'm having a fucking field day over

"what I assumed was sorrow, loneliness, and most of all, terror at the thing you were becoming... there is an element of this journey into the dark that im only now beginning to appreciate... how good it feels."

like yes, silver's talking about killing people and feeling good about it... but what flint keeps in "the dark" is also very much his queerness which is all tangled up in his head with the sorrow, loneliness, rage, terror, and pleasure silver is picking up on.

and silver has such an interesting relationship/reaction to flint in his own mind. he's so compelled by flint, but so distrusting and afraid--and also so like, addicted? almost to seeing flint open up in some way. It's like as soon as flint tells silver, when they're in that cage in s3, about how he basically feels like giving up silver decides fuck it actually never mind that I was saying this man is a God conjuring storms with the power of his mind to kill us all, I just wanna sit with him in the dark.

#black sails #flint in general has really interesting relationships with men #like the flint/vane dynamic is great and feels honestly sm lighter than the silver/flint dynamic #but what can i say #i like silver am compelled by the darkness #silverflint

[midnightshade]

GojoHime: Evidence and Discussion

Jujutsu Kaisen isn't a romance series. It's a horror action series that focuses more on platonic bonds and camaraderie between its characters. That being said, just as any shounen series, it has its fair share of ships, each with its own assortment of crumbs and small details.

GojoHime is a particularly interesting ship to look at. Being a massive fan of it myself,  it's fun to pick through the evidence that supports it. I'd like to share the evidence that I and many other GojoHime fans have found. I'll be starting with the smaller, weaker evidence first and working my way up to the strongest evidence.

Before I start in earnest, I want to clarify that this isn't made to attack any other ship. People can ship whatever they want, and no ship in the series is canon (aside from exceptions like Hakari and Kirara). I like GojoHime so I want to talk about it. That's really it.

With that out of the way, let's begin.

First, let's start with the evidence outside of the manga itself. This one isn't very compelling, but it is cute. In Japan, there is a chip brand called Bakauke. Bakauke has two mascots known as Borin and Barin, who are girlfriend and boyfriend. When Bakauke collabed with Jujutsu Kaisen, Utahime and Gojo were chosen to represent the Borin and Barin respectively, thus being depicted as girlfriend and boyfriend.

Moving on to evidence found within the actual manga, we see that on the splash page for Gojo and Utahime, the print behind them depicts arrows known as a Yagasuri pattern. In Japan, this is a symbol often used for weddings. It's meant for good luck because "a shot arrow does not return," and therefore, a married woman does not (or should not) return to her parents.

We also see depictions of them under an umbrella often used at weddings. Sharing an umbrella is also a common romantic trope in Japan.

Other smaller evidence exists in the form of their phone call. This consists a beeper code, where the number of their call spells out "I like you" in code, and another interesting detail is that Satoru calls Utahime from his recent contacts, implying that he calls her often.

Gojo and Utahime were made to be opposites. Aside from the obvious "opposites attract" trope, it creates a compelling visual story between them. Man and woman, strong and weak, modern and traditional, blue and red. Satoru hates alcohol and loves sweets while Utahime loves alcohol but hates sweets.

Gege said Gojo only puts down his Technique with people he trusts, which we see him do with Utahime. He trusts her enough to have to actively put his Technique back in place after she throws a teacup at him.

Moving on to some of the strongest and most convincing evidence, we have Waka Inoue, Utahime's very own technique, and Gege's past works.

Gojo had a picture of Waka Inoue as his background as a teenager. He clearly finds her attractive, as is common, considering she's a popular model, but the reason why this is important is that Inoue shares a lot of similarities with Utahime.

Both women have noticeable bangs, they're the same height (166cm), and they share a love for alcohol, karaoke, and sports, specifically baseball. Waka is described once as a "competitive crybaby who hates to lose," and as we see in the Anime, Gojo has a way of firing Utahime up and she is also prone to being a bit of a scaredy-cat and a crybaby. We also see her more competitive side come out during the baseball tournament between Kyoto and Tokyo.

Moving on to Utahime's Cursed Technique, as some Japanese fans have pointed out, Utahime's Soro Soro Kinku (Solo Forbidden Area) is based on a real love song about forbidden love with lyrics about a masked lover. The records from the singer, Akina Nakamori, are called Utahime records, and the singer even does Gojo's unlimited void hand sign during her live performances of her song, "Fin."

The most compelling bit of evidence for me is Gege's past works. Two of his three one-shot manga have characters who are very similar to Gojo and Utahime. The male protagonist is usually cocky and teases the female protagonist, while the female protagonist gets annoyed at his antics but is otherwise down to earth and kind.

In Nikai Bongai Barabarujura, the protagonist, Noroma, reminds me of teen Gojo in appearance and behavior. He is "the strongest" who teases Nodoka, the female protagonist, for being weak but has an obvious respect for her drive and inner strength.

In Kamishiro Sosa, we have a similar set-up as before. The male protagonist, Ganji, is very energetic and careless with the female protagonist, Rekko's, feelings, and is seen to have a very similar type of banter as Gojo and Utahime have.

Gege clearly likes that type of pairing, which isn't surprising given the bickering couple and rivals to lovers is a popular trope in romance. It's not unusual for Mangaka to reuse old ideas, and that seems to be what happened with Gojo and Utahime. Even their appearances share similarities.

As you can see, GojoHime has a lot of thought put into it, and it's very interesting to see the little details Gege has put into their dynamic. There's definitely a reason why so many adore this pairing, and I'm glad Gege has paid attention to that.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojohime #gouta #gojo satoru #iori Utahime #forbidden writings #jjk meta

[chirpsythismorning]

Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt

Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.

So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.

So, without further ado, back to our roots:

Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).

Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.

I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.

For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.

These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.

I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.

El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).

We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.

Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.

Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?

Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.

Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.

And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)

Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.

Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).

Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.

Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?

It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.

In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?

Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.

If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.

Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.

So... How are we feeling?

Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)

It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.

It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.

And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.

Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.

After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.

Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.

Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.

Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.

And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.

And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.

This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.

But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.

Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.

So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.

It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.

And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.

While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.

But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.

Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...

But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.

I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.

So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.

Continued

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #this is not mike slander! #this is mike deconstructed #this is mike in all his glory #well not all his glory #bc i think s2 and s3 and obviously s4 build off of this #making all of these moments all together overall a lot more compelling as a whole #but these right here are our roots ppl #find the root of the problem and everything else just falls into place #i can't wait for part 2 though #it's even more heartbreaking and tragic somehow #the suppressed guilt of it all #the denial #the shame #the gall at times #it's only gonna pile up for this kid #watch out dominos (mike wheeler) #your dominos are gonna fall...