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obsessedwithceleste · 2 months

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Til It’s Gone

Theodore Nott x reader

Based on this cute lil request 🤗

Summary: It seemed like they’d always been there. An ever-growing thorn in Theodore’s side. He really didn’t realize what he’d had until it was gone. (Happy ending I swear)

word count: 3.2k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

Theo let out a heavy sigh as he slumped into his seat, ignoring the cheery smile on your face as you turned to face him.

“Hi Theodore!” You chirped brightly, gaze landing on the tall brunette boy coming to sit next to you.

Salazar, here we go, Theo thought bitterly.

“Theo.”

“Right. Theo. How was your day?” You continued on, seemingly oblivious to his indifference as you scribbled mindlessly on your parchment.

Theodore wasn’t stupid. Quite the opposite in fact. He knew you liked him. That much you’d made rather obvious. Especially as of late. If saving him a seat everyday in this miserable class didn’t make it clear to everyone that you had a certain affection for the boy, then the notes dropped in his bag, or kisses blown from across the Great Hall certainly did.

The only reason Theo even accepted sitting next to you was because the seat was positioned perfectly to be just outside of Professor Binns’ field of vision, saving him the work of pretending to care about whatever topic the professor was rattling on about.

“I don’t see why you even put up with it all,” Mattheo often said. “Just reject them and move on with it.”

“Or at least stop sitting with them. You’re only encouraging them,” Enzo would add.

Yet, here he was, still sat lazily in the seat next to you. Theo didn’t particularly care that you fancied him to be quite honest. He’d gotten used to the same pattern of stoically ignoring your chatter, copying your carefully organized notes, and leaving. So long as you weren’t too annoying, he didn’t see the harm in sticking around. Besides it’s not like you weren’t easy on the eyes. And he supposed there was something to be said about the confidence with which you acted that set you apart from the general hoard of girls harboring similar feelings.

“Theo?”

Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he glances at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Fine.” He replied tersely before turning once more to stare blankly ahead.

He’d changed his mind. Absolutely not. This was horrible. At this point, Theo wasn’t even sure if you actually liked him, or were only claiming you did as an excuse to see how much you could embarrass him.

“Mate, this is getting to be Weaselette levels of weird,” Draco said as their group stared in horror at the third year who had approached them warily in the halls with a poem to read aloud in hand.

Theo visibly shuddered, remembering the awful valentine the youngest Weasley had sent Saint Potter a few years prior.

“Save everyone the embarrassment and walk away now, kid,” Draco told the boy. “Go on. Scram.”

The third year didn’t need to be told twice and quickly darted off, away from the group of Slytherin boys.

“It isn’t even 8am mate. Where does that girl get the time to do all this?” Enzo grumbles as they made their way into the Great Hall for breakfast.

Theo simply ignores his friend’s comments, something he was getting used to doing, as they all sat down at their usual table.

They’d all seemed to have an opinion on you as soon as it became apparent that you had developed a crush on him, and Theo had just about had enough of his friend’s seemingly endless comments regarding his not so secret admirer.

The familiar small parcel tied neatly with a white ribbon that sat waiting for Theodore in his usual spot didn’t go unnoticed, starting the whole thing up again.

“For Salazar’s sake Theo, do you not find it creepy?” Draco asks, eyeing the package.

Theo rolled his eyes at his dramatic friend.

“I don’t care. You all seem to be more interested in y/n’s little stunts than I am, and I’m the one they’re intended for. They’re harmless. Just leave it and they’ll probably get bored eventually.”

“Yeah, or they’ll just keep it up thinking you’re playing all hard to get or what not,” Mattheo snorts.

Theo just glares at his friend, stabbing a sausage with his fork. Just behind Matt’s head, seated at a table with your own friends, Theo sees you blow a kiss his way, winking cheekily.

“Aw, they growing on you? Who would’ve thought dark and broody would be into golden girl herself,” Mattheo teases, earning him a sharp kick from under the table.

“Morning Theodore,” you greet, as the brooding boy once again took his seat beside you, this time in potions.

“It’s Theo.”

“That’s what I said.”

You hear the boy let out a small snort and you smile to yourself. That was one of the biggest reactions you’d been able to get out of the boy.

Your friends often wondered why you so insistently pursued the grumpy Slytherin boy, despite his general apathy towards you, and honestly, it was as simple as the fact that you enjoyed the challenge.

It was like your own little game of cat and mouse. Constantly finding little ways to make the boy smile, even if he didn’t realize it was you. And the rush of excitement you got anytime you were able to elicit any sort of reaction from the boy was like a drug that kept you coming back for more.

You’d found that the best way to elicit such reactions was by staging little acts of public affection whether it be a kiss sent his way or an origami note perched on his desk. Each time, you could see the heat rise softly in the boy’s cheeks as he tried desperately to keep it at bay, sometimes even fighting back a small smile.

Today you had come to class a bit early in order to set up both you and Theo’s potion stations before the brown haired Slytherin arrived, taking extra care to gather enough ingredients for each of your potions. You weren’t even sure he realized that you were doing all this for him, but watching his satisfied smile as he brewed away made it worth it.

That was another thing you had grown to appreciate about the boy. While his friends were all rather light-minded and rowdy, his wit and level-headedness balanced out the group. Theo was smart, and didn't feel the need to make a point about it, flying under the radar of many of your classmates when it came to who had the best marks. Sure it was fun to tease the boy, but you also had a certain admiration for him that went deeper then the nonserious way you often conducted yourself around him.

The rest of the class passed in a sort of agreed upon silence as you worked on your potions. Of course you’d like to talk to Theo a bit, but you’d found he’d preferred the silence, usually not uttering more than a few words to you per class. It was something you could work on eventually you supposed.

“See you later Theodore,” you said brightly once you had finished gathering up your things. Joining your group of friends, you toss one last wave over your shoulder at the boy, smiling to yourself. He hadn’t bothered to correct you for once.

The last thing Theo expected while roaming the dusty shelves of the library was to hear his own name being whispered from deeper within the maze of books he was searching through. The library was where he went to escape his friend’s incessant gossip about the rest of the school’s population, yet he was interested in what was being said about him. He didn’t often venture outside his usual group of Slytherins, so he didn’t know exactly what he expected to hear.

Following the loud whispers, Theo stopped, looming in the shadows once he was able to make out the dark figures of students huddled in one of the many rows of books.

“Sure Theo might be one of the most attractive boys in our year, but his head is so far up his own arse, it’s a wonder he can see straight.” A voice practically snarled as its owner leaned lazily against one of the shelves.

Theo felt himself immediately tense. Is that what they thought now? His fists clenched as he refrained from crashing through the shelves to give these snots a piece of his mind.

“Honestly, being an arrogant prick isn’t something to be proud of. He’s just like every other Slytherin who makes being a pure blood their only personality trait.” Another voice adds.

“Oh fuck off you two.”

Theo’s ears perk up, surprised to hear your voice join the chatter.

“Please, like you’re one to talk y/n. You’re practically blinded by desperation. Theo Nott is an utter prat and he treats you like shit. Have some bloody self respect.”

“I’m not desperate, you git. And Theodore isn’t an arrogant prick. There’s nothing wrong with having a little bit of pride. It’s not like you see him going around bragging about how amazing he is. If you’re going to talk about arrogant pricks, talk about Cormac. Or Draco even.”

“Whatever. That still doesn’t excuse his behavior towards you. I don’t understand why you insist on embarrassing yourself when he clearly has no interest in you. But he’s too much of a coward to say anything.”

“Oh for the love of- Theodore doesn’t owe anyone anything. Me included. I do the things I do because I can and I want to, and quite frankly it isn’t anyone else’s business but my own. So why don’t you two get your heads out of your own arses and stop worrying about me, and stop worrying about Theodore.”

With that, Theo listened as your footsteps slowly got quieter as you stomped away, your words ringing in his head.

Theo had never been in love before. But in that moment, he was beginning to see the appeal. Fuck that was hot as hell.

For Theo, it all spiraled down from there as he finally began to see you. Really see you. And not just as some girl who had a silly crush on him.

It started with the notes. He hadn’t noticed before, but it wasn’t just him that you’d slip a note to in the hallway. After one particularly difficult transfiguration exam, Theo watched as you dropped a note with a chocolate candy attached into the bags of your friends.

Another day, he arrived to potions early to find you carefully setting up his station as he hovered in the doorway. After class, he didn’t rush out like he normally would and instead watched as you quietly slipped an extra copy of your notes to a student he knew struggled with the class.

And while you weren’t exactly blowing kisses to all of your friends across the Great Hall, Theo began to notice the way you didn’t hesitate to throw your arms around your friends, hugging them tightly when you got excited. Or grasping onto a hand as you wandered through Hogsmeade, arms swinging in carefree bliss.

It was about a month after Theo had begun his silent observations that he began to feel it. The slow pull away as your presence began to fade from his life. He almost didn’t notice at first. It had been about a week since he’d last found a note in his bag, or parcel waiting for him on his seat. You still smiled brightly at him if your eyes met from across the Great Hall, but now that he thought about it, Theo couldn’t remember the last time you’d blown a kiss his way.

It all came to a head the day Theo walked into History of Magic to see one of your friends sitting next to you in his usual seat, chattering away.

“Nice mate, they finally get the message?” Mattheo asks with a grin, elbowing him in the ribs.

Theo remained silent as he followed his friend to a seat in the back, eyes not leaving the spot where he should be sitting.

It continued on like this for what Theo thought was eternity. Salazar he missed you. Weeks passed filled with sleepless nights where he would stare at the ceiling contemplating where he had gone wrong. At the very beginning really, he thought dryly, remembering his initial feelings of agitation and annoyance. He wished he could go back and give himself a good smack upside the head.

The day Theo passed you in the hall and you didn’t even spare him a passing glance was the day Theo finally broke.

“Lorenzo.” He said, slamming the door of their dormitory open, startling his roommate.

“Theodore?”

Theo glares at the use of the name.

“You’re the romantic type. How do I do it?” Theo asked as he stomped his way over to his bed.

With a bemused look, Enzo swings around to look at his roommate, wondering if one of the ghosts had somehow possessed him.

“You want to know. How to do romance?” Enzo asks slowly, not fully believing he’d heard his friend correctly. Theo was probably one of the most emotionally detached people he’d ever met.

“Yes. Y/n. I want to make it up to her.”

"I thought we didn't like her?" Enzo said, growing more concerned for his friend's mental state by the minute.

"We didn't. But now we do, and I want to make things right."

Enzo blinked. Oh this was not going to be easy.

As you sat in the court yard with a group of your friends, textbooks in hand as you attempted to study for the charms test the next day, your eyes flickered momentarily as a sea of green wandered by. Quickly you look away before your eyes could meet Theo’s and you try to turn your attention back to your friend’s idle chatter.

It had been what? A month since you’d stopped actively seeking out the boy’s attention. Maybe more. And you missed him. His sarcastic smiles and pretty eyes that seemed to be fixed in a permanent glare.

But you were also tired. Mostly tired of the snarky comments. “Have some self respect.” “So desperate.” The voices of your classmates echoed in your head, and eventually you began to draw back. You knew he’d noticed. You’d seen his eyebrows furrow in confusion that day you’d let your friend sit beside you in class. A pang of guilt washing over you. But it’s not like he showed any signs of wanting things to go back to the way they were. So you simply stayed away. Maybe that’s what he’d wanted all along.

Your thoughts followed you as you eventually made your way back to your dormitory, wanting nothing more than to wrap yourself up in a warm blanket and disappear. As you approach your bed however, you make out something that definitely wasn’t there when you’d left that morning. A gorgeous bouquet of little white flowers wrapped in thick brown paper, tied off with a silky emerald green ribbon. Stamped on the corner of one of the brown folds, the letters TN shown at you in gold curls.

“Oh those are beautiful!” Your roommate gasps when she sees the flowers. “Lily of the valley! Those can symbolize renewal ya know. Usually they’re given as like, an apology of sorts, or if someone wants to start over.” She tells you. Ever the herbology buff. “Who are they from?”

A smile grows on your lips as her words sink in and you press the flowers close to your chest.

“Just a special friend,” you reply.

After all the months of Theo's coldness towards you, you'd never quite allowed yourself to truly believe the boy would ever return your affection, but maybe things were beginning to look up.

Over the course of the next several days, you begin to notice little things that had Theodore’s name written all over them.

After the charms exam the following day, you find a note of encouragement written in Theo’s familiar scrawl dropped in your bag along with a bag of your favorite toffees. How he’d managed to get it there without you noticing was beyond you.

There were little things too. Your stations in herbology and astronomy were always set up and waiting for you when you walked into class. The book on ancient runes that you’d been searching for showed up on your bedside table. (You weren’t sure how he was doing that either, but you weren’t about to question it.) And there always seemed to be a comfortable smirk on Theodore’s face whenever your eyes wandered over to where he sat with his friends, eyes seemingly boring into you.

Now, you sat quietly in your own little nook of the library, quill in hand as you scribbled away at your ancient runes essay, the book Theo left you being quite helpful.

You were happy he'd found his way back into your life, happier still that he was actually making a point to be included in your life.

“You don’t mind do you?” A voice asks, startling you and causing ink to splatter against the parchment.

With shocked eyes, you look up to see Theodore standing next your table as if your thoughts had summoned him there. He sets his books down, frowning at your now ruined paper.

With a flick of his wand, the mess is gone.

“Sorry bout that,” he mutters, sitting down across from you.

You blink, not entirely convinced you’re not hallucinating.

“You know, I remember you being much more talkative,” he says, a sly smirk reaching across his face as you realize you’ve yet to say anything to the boy.

“I remember you being significantly less talkative,” you blurt out before quickly covering your mouth with your hand in horror.

To your relief, the boy in front of you lets out a low laugh.

"Fair enough. See you've been liking the book," he says, gesturing towards the open text.

"Oh yeah, I've been meaning to say something, thank you."

"Don't worry bout it. I never said thank you for all the things you did. Probably should've." He replies, looking down as he pulls out his own quill and parchment. "I am sorry by the way."

"For?" You ask, head tilting to the side in curiosity.

"Everything. Or for doing nothing is probably more accurate," he says, flipping open his text book.

You can tell that he's nervous as he fidgets with the corners of the book's pages, and you desperately want to ease the tension between the two of you.

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as you debate whether or not to say anything more, or go back to your essay. Finally, you look up at the boy that you had been chasing after for all these months, and remind yourself that he had actually been the one to go through all the trouble of seeking you out tonight.

Gathering your courage, you open your mouth to speak. "Theodore?"

"Yes, Bella?" he replies, eyes carefully following the lines of next.

"Would you like to join me in Hogsmeade this weekend?"

His eyes snap up at this, and you see the familiar hint of red make it's way into his cheeks once more.

"Only if I can have my seat back in History of Magic." The boy replies.

"I think I can have that arranged."

Hi hi hi! I hope this lives up to all of your hopes and dreams, anon 🫶🏽

#slytherin boys #harry potter universe #slytherin #theodore nott #lorenzo berkshire #matteo riddle #mattheo riddle #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott x you #theo nott x y/n #Theo Nott #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #theodore nott fanfiction #theo nott fanfiction #Spotify

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ejoygvf · 11 months

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A Bad Day

I don’t really see Josh as much of a hardcore dominant, so this was very different to write but something I needed to get off my chest!

Your day was going from bad to worse. Luckily your wonderful boyfriend was happy enough to be able to change that for you and turn a bad day into a great one.

Content Warnings: 🔞 EXPLICIT Sexual Content!!! Fingering, oral M/F, unprotected sexual intercourse (don’t be silly, wrap your willy) , spanking, whipping, spitting, daddy kink, extreme degradation, mild bdsm, control, bit of fluff and I THINK that’s it. Straight up porn basically.

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

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Your day had been an absolute shit show. The stress that had amounted up throughout the day and you had just about reached breaking point. It had been one thing after another. You dropped your favourite mug in the morning and it had smashed into irreparable pieces, you missed your first train on the way to work and your second was delayed, a dickhead truck driver decided to drive into a puddle and soak you with muddy rain water as you walked along the pavement, you left your work pass at home and were stuck outside in the pouring rain for 15 minutes before security eventually buzzed you in. Yeah, THAT much of a shit show day.

Finally, you were on your way back home from work. It had dragged on for what felt like 15 hours, rather than 8. The train journey home was a lot smoother, thank fucking god. It was actually quite quiet too, which was a relief. You put your headphones in and turned the volume all the way up before slumping your head back into the train seat and taking the deepest sigh, humanly possible trying to figure out how to de-stress after todays events. There was just one thing. One singular thing that could help vanish this shitty day away. Whipping your phone out of your pocket you sped text your boyfriend, Josh.

You: Hey baby, I know you’ll still be at the studio when I get back but hopefully not for much longer, right? I need my daddy and I need level 10, please? Love you

Josh: Angel! Will be finishing up the vocals now and headed home after, so see you soon. Jesus fuck babe, level 10? Been a while, must have had a shit day? Daddy’s got you. Love you too, forever

You: Perfect, see you soon.

You and Josh had been together coming up four years, you were absolute best friends and knew each other inside out. Everyone knew that you two came as a package deal. He was a ray of sunshine, the most energetic human with the widest smile, always had optimism up his sleeve and on top of all that he was fucking gorgeous. The most beautiful dimples, a set of perfectly straight, white teeth with a tiny gap in his front two, caramel coloured eyes and curly brown hair, falling around his face.

Greta Van Fleet had blown up so quickly, it had been a bit of a whirlwind the last few years. They had millions of fans across the globe, people screaming their names at concerts, thousands of comments of admiration on their instagrams. But even with the weight of all of that, your relationship never once faltered. In fact, if anything, it just strengthened. You were so proud of the boys and were lucky enough to get to go on tour with them, so you and Josh didn’t have to be apart for long stints at a time. You had a lovely apartment together in Nashville and work were really understanding when you went on tour with him, letting you work remotely.

Your sex life was a whole different story. Everyone always knew you both as the most loved up, affectionate and gentle couple. Always calling each other pet names, touching in any capacity you could, two peas in a pod. Your sex life was incredible and very different to what people assumed it would be. You’d had a system that you’d built over the last couple of years, using the first two years of your relationship to explore each others bodies, likes, dislikes, turn ons, turn offs and kinks. Your system was simple and discreet enough for the two of you. 1 being loving, gentle, slow and romantic. 10 was hard, rough, bdsm, painful, dom/sub sex. You had normally stuck between 3-6 week to week, rarely ever using 10 but tonight you needed it. Josh knew of your Daddy issues and was completely okay with this name being used on certain occasions.

Finally after what felt like forever, you got through your front door, throwing your bag and coat on the floor beside you before throwing yourself on the plush, burgundy sofa. Your apartment always smelt like incense and was full of plants, colourful art work, Moroccan style rugs and sun catchers. You stared up at the ceiling taking deep breathes and decided to doze off for a bit before Josh got home. Before you knew it, you’d fallen into a light sleep.

You must have not been sleeping long before you felt a finger gently dragging along the bridge of your nose. “Hey baby, wakey wakey. I’ve missed you, it’s been an entire 10 hours since I last saw you.” You heard Josh giggle as he whispered to you. You knew the corners of your lips began to turn upwards but kept your eyes closed. Pretending to keep up the sleep facade, you ignored him, seeing how long it would take for him to crack. “Baaaaabyyyyy!! I’m here, wake up now!” The volume of his voice was definitely louder now and he had began raking his fingers through your hair. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing. You heard him let out a sigh of defeat. He knew you were faking it so decided to play you at your own game. “Well, I guess I’ll just go and make myself cum because my little whore is clearly too tired from her day.” He went to stand and you grabbed his wrist before he could walk away, pulling him on top of you.

He chuckled as he fell against you, laying on top of your torso with hands either side of your face. He lifted one of them, stroking your bottom lip with his index finger. “Ahh, did someone’s dreams become a nightmare?” He said through a mischievous grin. “Absolutely Joshy, I dreamt that my boyfriend wasn’t going to be throat fucking me any more.” You gave an over dramatic pout and puppy dog eyes. “Oh no, we wouldn’t want that. Because I definitely will be throat fucking you. Got to make Daddy happy, don’t we?” Before you could say anything else he firmly grasped his hand round your jaw, pushing your lips together. The pain from the inside of your cheeks pushing against your teeth sent a quiver through your body. “Now, from this moment on, you’ll listen to what I say, you’ll obey the rules I lay and you’re going to be a good whore for Daddy, aren’t you?” You nodded eagerly, eyes starting to water. “Good, now taste me.” He spat straight into your mouth before leaning forward to lick across your lips, all while his hand hadn’t moved from squashing them together. “Swallow me down, whore.” You did exactly as he asked.

Within seconds you were on your hands and knees with one of his hands wrapped around your hair, being used like a dog lead. “Follow me, slut.” He pulled you along by your hair towards the bedroom and you crawled on all fours behind him. Your stomach flipping at the thought of what was to come. Your shit day was already starting to wash away, you just wanted to be dominated, whilst simultaneously having the best orgasms you could get and hoping the rest of the world would disappear.

You eventually crawled your way into the bedroom, Josh being almost silent the entire walk there, only a small smirk across his face. “Up, now.” He pulled you up by your hair and he tightened it into his fist, causing your neck to snap back so you were looking up at him. “Go and stand against the wardrobe. Back against it, hands by your sides, palms faced flat against the doors. Don’t fucking move. You got it?” Curious as to what was in store you nodded “Yes.”

A soft slap across your cheek took the breath out of your lungs. “Yes what?”

He asked, holding onto your wrist. “Yes Daddy, I’ll do what you say.” His face lit up “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? You filthy whore.” He placed a gentle kiss to your rising red cheek and pushed you in the direction of the wardrobe.

Back against it, like he asked, hands flat and pressed against the door, facing the bed. He was right in your eye line. Breath, shaky with the anticipation of what he had in mind. He sat at the edge of the bed, lent back on his hands, legs spaced widely apart. He had the look of sex in his eyes. He started reaching to the hem of his white jumper, pulling it over his head and winking at you as he threw it across the floor. Next, he kicked off his shoes, took off his socks, all whilst keeping eye contact.

You were practically writhing, stood in your place at the sight of his naked torso, you wanted him so bad. The heat between your legs had been building up long before this started and you could feel your wetness pooling. “So far, so good. You’re doing well for me. Aren’t you, you worthless slut?” The degrading names caused your clit to throb “Yes I am Daddy. Just for you, all for you.” He nodded, hands starting to slide to the growing bulge in his jeans, using his palm to rub over it. “Ahhh fuck…” his eyes rolled back and his head flopped backwards to reveal his delicious looking neck to you. You watched him lick his lips before he unbuckled his belt and placed it on the bed next to him, you knew it was going to be used later.

“You’re gonna watch me, baby. Watch me make myself feel good. You can’t do anything about it but watch.” Your stomach dropped. Oh fuck, how are you about to control yourself? How are you going to manage to stay still through this, you were already dripping at the show he was putting on. His hands were working fast to unbutton his jeans, you hear the zipper and watched him shimmy the denim and boxers off. The hardness of his cock making a slapping sound as it hit the bottom of his stomach. The smirk on his face is so fucking smug and you hate how much you love it. You’re clenching your legs together at the current sight, Josh sat fully naked on the edge of your bed with fuck me eyes.

“You like what you see, don’t you? You’ve seen this cock so many times before baby and you’re amazed every time. It’s yours, all yours. You want it bad, huh?” You stare, almost in a daze and nod your head, licking your lips. His hand makes his way down to the base and starts moving slowly up and down his length, thumbing up to the tip, collecting the drops of pre cum before smoothing them over himself. You can see it practically twitching in his hands. You’re digging your nails into the wood behind you to stop yourself from lunging forward.

“Oooooh shit, this feels so fucking good baby. You have no idea. You like how Daddy’s cock looks in his hand? Mmmm, I could cum just like this.” He licked him lips, staring straight into your eyes with whimpers escaping him and a heavy breath. You were throbbing at the sight. “Come here, baby.” He moaned out. Finally, you thought. You’re going to get to touch him. You started to walk over before his hand came up to halt you. “Uh uh, on your hands and knees, slut. Crawl to me.”

You did just that, no questions asked.

You made your way toward him before kneeling in front of him, face inches away from his cock, you could smell him and see every pulse and vein as his hand slowly worked over it. A light slap across your face snapped you out of your trance and his hand snaked it’s way around your throat with a firm grip. “You’re staring too hard you dirty whore. I bet you’re dripping for me, aren’t you? I want you to strip for me. Make it slow, show me that you’re worth it.”

Obeying his every wish, you slowly stood, keeping your eyes on his big caramel coloured irises and brushed your hair behind your shoulders before starting your strip tease for him. You’d never been overly confident in your body, picking faults and finding new things to be insecure about, daily. But Josh had changed that, he taught you how to fall in love with all of yourself. How to admire every little scar, stretch mark and all the insecurities that would eat away at you. He made you feel sexy, beautiful and confident. So doing things like this in front of him was less of a dreaded thing and more of a thrill seek.

Your shoes and socks were already off and you were just left in black leggings and an oversized hoodie. Thank god you chose today to wear matching underwear. You turned round slowly, back to him, shimmying your leggings down the curve of your ass, giving a spank on your left cheek before taking them off completely, lifting your hoodie to show your ass, giving a little shake. His eyes were lighting up at the sight of your ass shaking in the thong. You very slowly body rolled your way out of the hoodie before you were left in the matching navy blue set he got you one Valentines holiday. You ran your hands up and down your curves, using your finger tips to trace over the cups of your bra and the hem of your thong. You turned back to him, wearing a smug smile.

Josh had dramatically slowed down his hand movements, jaw gaped open at the sight before him. He stood and made his way over to you, tracing his hands over your shoulders before turning you back around, facing away from him. “Touch the floor, baby. I want to see you bent over.” Knees bent slightly, you palmed the floor with your ass up in the air. “Mmm, good fucking girl, such a good girl, baby. You look so good.” CRACK, a searing pain felt across both ass cheeks made you jolt and your knees buckle. Josh hurried to keep you from falling. “You gotta take these whips like a good whore. Stay still. You’ll stay still for me, won’t you? You know the safe word if it gets too much.” The after sting felt so good and you knew there would be belt shaped bruises splayed across you tomorrow. “Yes Daddy, I promise. Punish me.” You sounded pathetic and desperate. The leather hitting you three more times, Josh asking you to count with him with each blow to the ass. Your cheeks were numb by the time he was finished, watery eyes and an almost hoarse voice from your screams and moans.

He knelt down with his face centimetres from your ass. “Such an obedient little slut. So desperate, so pathetic. I love it.” He delicately kissed his way over both your ass cheeks, lightly grazing his fingertips over the raised marks, a slight burn with each pass he made. “Marked the way you should be, by me. I can see how wet you are. Your underwear is practically stuck to your pussy. You’re leaking out the sides, baby. Fuccck.”

He laid his palms flat against each ass cheek and used his thumbs either side of the crack to trace down to your entrance, pulling apart slightly when he got to your pussy. “Looks so good, whore. Wanna taste? Don’t answer that, it’s not a question. Taste yourself for me.” Without hesitating, you slid your hand in between your legs, dipping under the lace and curled two fingers into your entrance, you were soaked. You brought them up to parted lips and sucked off your juice. You tasted sweet, fresh and wanted more. “Mmmm, so good Daddy and all for you.” You could hear him grinning through his words “You’re damn right, you cum slut. My turn. Don’t fucking move.”

His hands made their way to the top of your thong, pulling down gently, hooking his index finger under the thin fabric between your cheeks he pulled forward and let them fall to the floor. “There she is. Pretty, soaked pussy. Ahhh baby, look at her. Almost as pretty as you.” He gave a firm but quick spank to your cunt before leaning forward and blowing gently over it. You were whimpering, your entire core burning, twinging. You were so desperate for just some sort of touch. Then he stood up and backed off. Feeling deflated you let out a sigh. “Aww poor baby, thought I was gonna eat you out? No. You’re here to serve me right now, come here and choke on Daddy’s dick.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, lent back on his elbows, legs slightly spread and he gave you a nod. You hopped down to your knees looking up at him through your lashes and he placed a finger under your chin before grabbing your throat tightly, choking you and knocking the air out of your lungs. “Take that bra off, I wanna see those tits bounce while you suck me.” Reaching behind your back, you released the clasp and threw the bra to the side of the room. Your nipples were already hard and so sensitive so it made you squeal when Josh lent forward twisting them in his fingers. He moaned at the sight of your eyes rolling back at the pleasure he was giving you. “Such a bombshell, baby. Will never get tired of this view. Now put that mouth to good use, you pathetic slut.”

Doing as you were told, you slotted yourself between his parted legs and took him in your hand. It was warm and rock solid, twitching with any movement your hand made. His lips parted and his eyes were fixed on yours. You gave a long firm stroke from the base to the tip, leaving your tongue on the tip, lapping up any pre cum you could, just for a taste. He was impatient, not wanting to be teased, he grabbed your hair into his fist, pulling your head back “Open up baby. Use this and make it sloppy.” He grunted before spitting into your mouth. He pushed you onto his cock, you took him all the way back until you could feel the tip hit the back of your throat. “Ahhhh shit, you dirty fucking slut. Take it all.” He was pushing himself into you, keeping your hair fisted into his hand. Your mouth was full, eyes watering, gagging around his length, you could barely breathe but my god was it making you spill down your thighs. “Mmmm, let me fuck that mouth of yours, stay still for me.” You placed your hands on his thighs, knowing what was to come. He started slowly thrusting in and out of your lips, his mouth falling apart and letting out disgruntled moans with each pass. He was warm and slightly salty from the pre cum, so hard and you could feel every bump, vein and crevice of him. You sucked him in with every thrust.

“So good, such an obedient whore for me. But I’m not ready to cum yet. Up. Stand up, now.” He stood up, pulling you up by your hair and walked you over to the bed before pushing you down. He grabbed your ankles and pulled you down so your ass was half hanging off the edge. He knelt in between your legs, taking one of them over his shoulder. “Fuck, I’m going to enjoy this baby.” he breathed, his eyes found yours before reaching down and dragging a finger over your slit. “Tell me. How much do you enjoy having your cunt eaten? You want my face buried in that pretty pussy of yours until you cum on my tongue?” You nodded eagerly holding onto his hand, your other gripping desperately onto the sheets.

With that he gave you a wink and licked through your folds, his tongue flat and wide as he did. Repeating this, he made sure to stay around your clit, sucking gently at it before pushing his weight up on his hands and staring up at you. “Now, be a good girl and ride my face.” he demanded, his pupils blown out, causing his eyes to turn from that caramel colour to almost black. With that, he moved to lay at the head of the bed, grabbing your hand and pulling you to him as you got up on your knees. “Hurry up baby, don’t keep me waiting.”

You crawled up the bed to meet him and straddled his shoulders, peering down at him as he snaked his arms around your thighs. Pulling you in closer, a grin forming on his face as you moved your knees to either side of his head. He leant up and connected his mouth to your waiting cunt. The contact made you shiver, moaning out as he pulled you down onto his face. His tongue made quick work of lapping and licking at your entrance, the bridge of his nose connecting with your pulsing clit each time he moved his face. Reaching out, you grabbed onto the headboard to steady yourself as you begin to roll yourself down, fucking yourself on his tongue. You could hear him slurping and licking, moaning at the taste and feel of you as the grip he had around your thighs tightened. He used his hands to guide your pussy over his face, making sure his nose hit all of the sensitive spots his tongue couldn’t as his mouth paid special attention to your entrance. His tongue flicked around you in the most delicious ways until you felt your legs begin to shake. You could feel yourself getting close, the flames in your stomach getting hotter and coursing through you. Panting and near on screaming, you dropped your head back “Daddy, I’m gonna cum. Please, please can I cum?” You wailed out. “Yes baby, feed me. Let that cunt go.” That was the command you needed, soaking his mouth and chin as he drank you up. He continued to lick and suck at your pussy as his hands held you still over him. You were shaking violently at the over stimulation. “Fuccccck, oh fuck fuck fuck. I can’t Daddy, fuck it’s so good.” He just laughed at you, continuing to hold you in place, knowing it was verging on painful. When he felt satisfied with the work he’d done, he loosened his grip on you and tapped your thigh gently.

“Come clean me up, baby.” Knowing exactly what was expected of you, you crawled over to him and licked over any remnants of you on his face. “Come here good girl, lay on your back. Hold your legs against your chest. Gonna make you squirt, you know I love making you squirt. I want you to cover me.” You lay on your back, interlocking your fingers behind your thighs and bringing them to your chest. He knelt next to you, one hand keeping your ankles together and his other giving slaps to your dripping, overly sensitive cunt. He spat on it before plunging two fingers into your entrance. He started slow, curling his fingers upwards each time he entered, hitting that sweet spot. He used his thumb to rub gentle circles onto your clit as he sped up his fingers that were fucking you. You were panting fast and moans started to fall out of your mouth. Your eyes were rolling back, your neck craned upwards as you used your free hand to clutch onto your tits, playing with your nipples.

“What a worthless slut, you are. Look at this pretty cunt, needs to be filled more I think.” He entered another finger, stretching you open further. “Oh fuck, fuccccck Daddy. So good.” He started to vigorously pump his fingers in and out of you and you could feel yourself getting to your breaking point. Your clit was aching with the contact from his thumb, his fingers so deep inside of you. The sides of your pussy aching as he was pounding his hand against your entrance. “I’m gonna cum daddy, please please. I need to cum.” He smiled, fucked out eyes, sweat glistening over his entire body. “Give it to me baby, squirt all over me.” Just like magic, he released his fingers and started to rub them over your entire cunt back and forth with high speed as your spray hit him, the floor, the bed and your legs. Your back arched high off the bed, the screams were so loud you are sure your neighbours would have heard, you were sweating and you felt paralysed by pleasure. He had his mouth open and tongue out, collecting any juice he could catch as it squirted out of you. “I’ll never get tired of that sight, baby.”

He gave you a couple of minutes to collect yourself, your chest aching from how hard you’d been breathing. You shuffled yourself up to the head of the bed, knowing Josh was ready to fuck. You’d already cum twice and he would want at least two more orgasms from you before he would be willing to release his own. He placed himself between your legs, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on the lips. This took you by surprise because whenever you were having level 10 sex, it was almost an unspoken rule that you didn’t kiss on the lips. You smiled sweetly, spreading yourself for him. “Ready for you, Daddy. Want your cock, please.” He ran the tip of his dick through your folds and teased at your entrance, watching your face as he did. “God you’re so wet for me again, didn’t take long did it? You desperate whore.”

The sting of pleasure pulsed around you as you felt Josh’s cock stretch and fill you up. You’d barely just recovered from your last orgasm. He held himself there for a moment so you could adjust to the feeling of him before pulling out of you fully. Thrusting back into your waiting cunt, desperate to be stretched around him again, he lent forward and bit your jaw before spitting over your face and giving a firm slap to your tits. He did this several times alternating between each boob. Each time, you cried out his name, your fingernails digging into his back as he drug you through an inferno of pleasure, pushing you towards the edge of release with each pound. You could hear the squelch of your wetness pooling at your entrance with each thrust. He could tell that you were dangling on the edge of your orgasm, your legs quaking against his body and your arousal soaking him with each thrust into your pussy, he moved a hand between the two of you, circling his thumb around your clit in slow, tight movements.

“That’s my good girl.” he coaxed, thumb still circling your most sensitive spot. As his cock pumped into you more aggressively, his moans now getting louder. “Give it to me baby, I can tell you’re right there.” He spoke with his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples, before biting down, sucking a small mark into the skin there as he felt you finally release, clenching around him and crying out his name. “Fuck Josh, I’m cumming, Joshy baby… Ahh I’m cumming so hard around your fucking cock, Daddy.” Slowing down, just pounding as hard as he could every few seconds, he let you come down. “Yes baby, say my fucking name. Nobody makes that pussy feel as good as I do.” He slapped your face, hard before grabbing your throat.

He smiled down at you before making more demands. His sudden movement, or lack there of, caught you off guard. “On your knees, ass up.” He shouted, moving away from you to give you room. When you moved a little too slow for his liking, rolling onto your stomach before pushing up onto your knees, he cracked a stinging slap to the right side of your ass, it would be joining the belt bruises from earlier. “I don’t have time to be waiting for you, cum slut.” You positioned yourself so your chest was pressed to the mattress and your ass was as high up in the air as you could get it. You felt him grab onto your hips, he gave you no time to ready yourself before burying himself balls deep within your tight, wet pussy.

In this position he was able to fuck into you deeper, pulling you back to him with every roll of his hips. The sound of his balls slapping against your clit at a furious pace drowned out both of your moans. You know you weren’t supposed to but you couldn’t help but beg him to fuck you harder and faster. All you could do was grab at the sheets on the bed, your body shaking violently as you climbed towards another orgasm. He shut you up by reaching his hands round to your face, hooking his fingers into your cheeks and pulling your mouth back, using them as reigns. His cock repeatedly hit that sweet spot deep within you that so few had found before. He had you climbing that ladder, helping you get closer and closer to the top each time before backing off. He was edging you and each time you would slide your way back into the agonizing pit of darkness that he drug you through with each deep thrust of his thick cock. You felt like you couldn’t take it anymore. You were overstimulated, fucked out, too sensitive, and begging for sweet release. “Please, please, Daddy. Please, please I need to cum. I can’t, I can’t. Please!” You cried out until finally, finally as Josh moved one leg up to rest onto his foot, you felt him at a new angle. This one caused your head to drop forward, white heat racing through your body as that tight coil of desire snapped and sprung loose within you. You clenched down around him, your walls fluttering and pulsing as your arousal soaked him. The noises your bodies made as they met and pulled apart became wet and sloppy.

Josh was about to give into his own release, his body leaning over yours as his mouth fell near your ear. “That’s my beautiful whore, feel your cum round my cock. You hear that? So wet.” He released his hands from inside your mouth and onto your hips again. He pushed one hand onto your lower back, forcing you flat against the bed as he leaned over fucking into you as hard and deep as he could. “Oh baby, that’s it. Take it, fuck. You take my dick so good, gonna cum in that sweet, pretty pussy.” He moaned, releasing his load into your spent cunt. You felt him paint the inside of your walls. His thrusts slowed, faltered, stilled and finally stopped. He pulled out and ordered you onto your hands knees again, so he could watch his cum drip out of you. “Mmm, let’s not have this escape. You’re mine and I need to mark you.” He entered two fingers inside of you, pushing his release back into you. You arched your back at the contact, he was furiously fingering you until you came again, and with both his and your cum on his fingers, he was satisfied.

“Come here, baby. Let’s taste together.” He pulled your mouth to his, dancing tongues and lips messily before he placed fingers between both your mouths, so you could each get a taste. You let out a joint moan at the taste of your releases. “I love you so much, baby” he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. “I love you too, so so much.” After a little and very gentle make out session, he stroked his fingers through your hair as you spoke about your days before deciding to clean up.

He picked you up bridal style and carried you to the bubble bath he had ran. Two bottles of water waiting for you both. He carefully got in behind you. You lay back with your head against his chest as he scattered kisses over your shoulders and neck. He washed your hair for you and made sure your were clean and not too sore after your session. Taking special care of the bruises he had left, being as gentle as possible. “Thank you for making a shit day, much better. Best way to release stress is when Daddy comes out.” You giggled, looking back at him. He reached forward, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and kissed you sweetly on the lips. “You’re welcome my gorgeous girl. You’re worth it. I’d do anything for you, I’m sorry you had a shitty day, but so glad I could improve it. I love you so fucking much.” He placed more kisses over your face. “Now, let’s order some food, you can choose! We’ll cuddle up on the sofa and we’ll stick Shrek on the TV. How does that sound?” He smiled at you. Resting the side of your face against his chest, you smiled up at him. “Perfect, I’m so lucky I have you in my life. I love you, Joshy.”

#josh kiszka fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #gvf fic #josh kiszka #greta van fic #greta van fluff #sam kiszka #danny wagner #jake kiszka #greta van angst #greta van fleet #greta van meme #josh kiszka fan fiction

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letstevengrantsleep · 2 years

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Oh You Like That, Huh?

TASM Peter Parker x f!reader

summary: your best friend's brother is away, and you're offered his bed for the night (it's smut, it's fluff, it's all I've been able to think about for days)

word count: 1,767

warnings: f receiving oral, Peter in the suit, fluff ending bc I'm a sucker for soft!peter, y/n being a proper simp for peter/spiderman

a/n: I really didn't know how to end this one I'm sorry if it's a bit crap, I need to re-work it (or just right a part 2 so everything ties together a bit better... we'll see)

masterlist

"So, honey," your best friend's Aunt smiles at you across the dinner table, "Peter's away for a few nights if you want to take his bed? I know the floor wasn't comfy for you last time." Her hospitality will never fail to make you smile, but as much as you'd hate to admit it, the thought of taking Peter's bed makes your face heat up with embarrassment, so you just nod feverishly as you continue eating your meal.

"Thank you May, that'd be really nice." Smiling, you join in with conversation and try your best not to think about who's bed you're staying in. Which turns out to be near impossible.

Something about him has always driven you crazy. The way he walks into a room, and the way he fidgets with his hands when he's talking, god it makes you think of absolutely filthy things that you'd rather his hands be doing. So when you reach his bedroom that night, pyjamas in hand, you're already practically dripping thinking about being in his bed.

It's perverted, filthy, down right fucking wrong how you climb into his bed and inhale the scent that's on his pillows. It's awful, how your mind travels to what Peter might get up to in this bed, what he might do in this bed. And as you drift off into sleep it's absolutely awful how you feel yourself getting wet at the thought of him in this bed with you.

You're awoken by the sound of the window opening and the feeling of an ice cold breeze hitting your bare skin, which makes you open your eyes drearily and cock your head over to the source of the noise.

The sight in front of you makes you snap up and pull the covers over your bare legs. "Peter?" You whisper, your tone coming across a little more whiny than you would have liked, confused and quite frankly a little embarrassed to be in his bed with him in the room.

His head snaps over to you from where he is at the window, eyes blown wide. That's when you notice his attire. No fucking way.

"It's you?" Staring, you take in the skin tight red and blue suit, trying not to make it obvious when your eyes rake over his figure.

"Keep your voice down, would you?" He whispers harshly, shutting the window and discarding his backpack on the floor. "Fuck", he exclaims, hands running through his hair as his face contorts into a look of frustration. "What are you doing in my room?" He asks, stalking over to the bed, throwing his mask across to his wardrobe.

"Aunt May said you weren't back for a few days, I-" You take a breath, flustered beyond belief at the sight of him. He looks so good. "I won't tell anyone, Peter, I'll go sleep on the floor and I won't say anything to anyone." Rambling, you shake your head and turn away, trying to hide the blush that's burning your face. He shakes his head, Peter knows you well enough to know you wouldn't say a thing.

"No, no, bunny, it's okay." Oh Jesus, well, you're a goner. He's had that nickname for you for years now, it's always given you butterflies but right now? While he's standing in front of you wearing that god damn costume? It makes you want to jump his bones. "You need to stay so no one gets suspicious. I'm not meant to be here."

That's when he looks at you, really looks at you, and notices some things he didn't a moment ago. The pink tint to your cheeks, the way your thighs are clenched together under his bed sheets, the smell of your arousal. You're turned on because of him.

"You okay, y/n?" Peter pokes, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. He's been waiting for this for far too long, to get you in a room on your own, and he's not about to waste this perfect opportunity.

A frown plastered on your face, you nod quickly.

"You know," you watch with wide eyes as he leans forward, two hands coming to rest either side of your legs, "one of my abilities is that I have heightened senses." His eyes flick down to your chest as he speaks, "I can hear people's heartbeats, smell them, feel the change in their breathing."

He's impossibly close, breath fanning over your lips, making you entirely aware of the fact that he knows just how horny you are right now.

"Shit." You mumble, trying your best to scoot further back away from him to find some space to breathe.

"Hm," Peter smiles, "want to tell me something, baby?"

"You're being mean, Peter." He's making fun of you, you're sure of it. Laughing because his little sisters best friend has the hots for him.

"Me? No, no, no." Peter's shaking his head and smiling down at you, one hand coming up to cup your jaw. "I want to help you, bunny," his voice is low, raspy, and all you can do is take a sharp intake of breath as you feel his other hand start to run up your thigh until it lands inches away from where you're burning for him. "Let me touch you." He whispers, ducking his head to place soft kisses onto your neck.

"Peter." You warn, breath caught in your throat as he ghosts his fingers over your underwear.

"Every time I'm in a room with you I can hear the way your heartbeat picks up, feel how your hair stands on end when I talk to you, smell how I affect you. Bunny... come on," he sighs, dropping his head onto your shoulder, "this has been a long time coming."

You know he's right. You've been dreaming of this since you first met him, wishing, pleading to the universe that one day something would snap between the two of you.

"I don't want much, just let me taste you, bun." He whines, lifting his head to look at you with pleading eyes. God, how could you say no to that face?

"Fucking hell, Peter." You groan, squeezing your eyes tight and throwing your head back.

"Is that a yes?" He pesters, pulling lightly at the waistband of your underwear.

"Yes, yes."

He doesn't hesitate, sliding down the bed and pulling at your underwear with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. You watch with an open mouth as he lowers himself and kisses up the inside of your thigh, strong hands pulling your legs apart to give him more space.

"No idea how long I've been dreaming of this pussy, y/n." He breathes out, "think about it every time I see you, fuck." That's when his lips attach to your clit, and oh god does it feel good. This fucker knows what he's doing and dear lord is he good at it. The way he sucks at your clit and licks stripes up your cunt as you lift your hips to meet his movements.

It's not long until you feel one of his hands dragging up your leg and finding it's home, teasing at your entrance. He's still in those gloves, those fucking gloves that you don't dare admit that you've fantasised about.

"Oh shit." You gasp, toes curling at the new sensation. You can practically feel the smirk on Peter's face as he pulls away just to taunt you.

"Oh you like that, huh?" He laughs, staring at you with a look of pure disbelief as he watches you come undone all because of him.

"Fuck you, Peter." You whine, arching your back further as he curls his fingers inside you.

"All in good time, baby." He mumbles, diving back down to attack your cunt once again, pulling you closer and closer to cumming on his tongue.

"Oh, fuck, Peter I- mm, oh-" suddenly you're shaking, body involuntarily folding in on itself as you squeeze Peter's head with your thighs, which pulls a sinful moan from him. Your orgasm hits you so hard you have to clamp your hand over your mouth to stop you from crying out as you shake, your other hand reaching down to pull at Peter's hair, trying desperately to pull him off your sensitive cunt as he eats you out. He's licking you clean of every bit of your release, pulling tears out of you as he carries on, unfazed by your relentless pulling of his hair. "Peter please, please," you beg, pulling yourself away from his hungry mouth.

You're in awe at the sight in front of you. His hair is a mess from where you've pulled at it, his mouth slick with your cum, his eyes hazy, and he looks so fucking good in that god damn suit.

"I should sneak back home more often if this is what I get to find in my bed." He teases, crawling up you and pressing a wet kiss onto your lips, hands either side of your head. Groaning in pleasure, he collapses down onto you, head resting in the crook of your neck.

"So," you start, heart beating out of your chest, "Spiderman, huh?"

He laughs up at you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you over so your positions are switched, you on top of him.

"Is it really that impressive?" Grinning, he pulls his hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, an action which has your stomach turning somersaults.

"I've sort of had a crush on Spiderman since those first videos went viral." You mumble, blush creeping back onto your face.

"And Spiderman's sort of had a crush on you too." Peter confesses, reaching up to place a soft kiss onto your lips. You can still taste yourself on him and it's absolutely intoxicating. "Maybe I'll bring you swinging round Queens, show you off a bit."

Feeling hands running up your sides, you sigh, content, and breathe out a chuckle. "Yeah, right."

"I'm not joking, bunny. I've waited far too long for you to give me permission to have you, I'm going to be screaming from the rooftops that you're mine."

The confession makes your cheeks go a deeper shade of red than you ever thought possible, it makes you feel like you're burning, and of course he knows that. He's grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he pulls you into him, allowing you to fall into a peaceful, blissed out sleep before daring to move to take his suit off and climb back out of his window.

#tasm!spiderman x you #tasm smut #tasm peter x you #tasm peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker smut

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cheesus-doodles · 1 year

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‎

My response below!

asjdnaslkjnd sorry it took so long to respond to your absolutely wonderful and delightful ask anon! I was blown away by your outfit designs and your darling like ??? they're adorable ahhhh!! I have no design ability whatsoever, especially when it comes to clothes - i love the twist you did to the gang uniforms! :) i couldn't help but doodle a little of your precious darling, I hope you don't mind! thank you for being here, and thank you for reaching out!

p.s if you ever do design one for Brahman, I would love to see it as well if you don't mind please!

Masterlist

‎

‎I definitely agree with just this entire ask in general. First off, about the boys from various gang forcing people to design a uniform especially for you, yes. No doubt that all of them want to see you in their uniform, given that would mean (in their heads at least) that you were their best friend and gang princess, and not any of the other boys. But none of the boys, not Toman, Black Dragons or Tenjiku, would ever let you close to their actual uniform with a ten foot pole, since putting on their actual uniform would equate you to being a gang member and open you up to attacks. Which would lead to the various gangs trying to puzzle out a solution.

Toman, with the help of the tireless Mitsuya, would be the first to come up with a solution. If you have an inclination for fashion and clothes design, there's no doubt that Mitsuya would talk you sneakily into design something you thought would look adorable on you to surprise Mikey and the rest of the Toman founders - a fashionable twist on the Toman uniform. But instead of it being a surprise, this spin off would have already been had prior approval from all six Toman founders before Mitsuya ever approached you. They would let you design their claim on you. Though the result that came out the other side turned out to be absolutely jaw-dropping, and your Toman boys were actually surprised. Kazutora would instantly burst into tears when he saw how pretty you looked, Mikey and Baji would be clambering to tug at your uniform, and Draken, Pah and Mitsuya would be taking secret pictures and trying to help control your three needy babies.

With the birth of the Toman Princess (or Queen, but I like the sound of princess more!) outfit, the question would be more when do the boys not make you wear it? Definitely not just for special occasions, but the first time you ever wear it is when Mikey and Draken let you start attending gang meetings just to show you off wearing your new attire. The founders would then turn around and forbid any of the members from looking at you, but Mikey would begrudgingly permit them to look this once because they wanted everyone to see just how gorgeous you looked. Would even try to convince you to wear your Toman attire to school, but you had to turn down their requests despite the kicked puppy eyes from Kazutora and Baji. You had to try so hard not to cave to those. Everywhere else was free game though.

And of course no doubt with your friends trying to parade you around in your Toman outfit as much as possible, it would catch Izana's attention sooner rather than later. It could also be that you decided to very kindly show the outfit to your Tenjiku friend when he enquired (cough demanded to know immediately right away or he would cry cough) about the rumors, but oh boy did that spark the war. You were supposed to be his best friend, not Mikey’s, not anyone else’s, so seeing you wear any other gang uniforms were a direct insult to him, and Izana obviously couldn't let this go on any longer.

Orders Kakucho to go do something about it while Izana busies himself whining and crying and refusing to let you leave, everything in an effort to try to keep you away from Toman as long as he possibly - physically, mentally and emotionally - can. Finally gives up and lets Ran and Rindou take over, and you can hear the two brothers cracking the joints in their fingers as they get to work with their bullshit. They don’t get to work alone though, given how little Izana trusts any of the most *cough* good-looking *cough* guys around you, so he’ll still be there no doubt, watching them and making sure they don’t get too handsy with you, or he would task Shion with it. Kakucho gets his turn to spend some time getting pampered by you after he manages to intimidate and wrestle the fashion club from his school into making a Tenjiku outfit for you, designed from their gang outfit. And of course you get wrangled into the outfit almost immediately, so that Izana can call the gang together in the middle of the day and show you off. You would have to hide your Toman outfit from the Tenjiku gang if you don’t it to be instantly confiscated and set ablaze, but a few tears is usually enough to do the trick.

Koko, Inupi and Taiju would be pretty pissed to know that they were bascially the last of the three to find out about this proxy outfit war that was ongoing - but very fortunately for the poor folks that made up the Black Dragon gangs, Koko wasn't the sort of person who would struggle to find an outfit designer or fabricator, not with the gang purses being open for him to get you in a Black Dragon outfit asap. Taiju literally does not care what it takes Koko and Inupi to get the outfit, he wanted it yesterday. This blue-haired boy would pick you up from along the street in your Tenjiku outfit much like one would a stray cat - most likely the single instance Izana and the others took their eyes off you to get a drink - put you on his shoulders, and simply stroll off. Not like you would be able to come down from there by yourself. And Taiju knew it, which is why he put you there until you could be retrieved by Inupi, while Koko was finishing up his negotiations with a luxury boutique, who agreed to design and rush out the outfit for a mind-boggling number of zeroes.

Inupi would preoccupy you with talk about heels and schools and fashion and honestly any thing this puppy can come up with, including bringing you out to meet community cats and play with them in the Shiba's enormous backyard. Anything that would get you off the street and out of sight from the other two gangs prowling Tokyo looking for you, so no doubt that Hakkai gets booted from the house before Taiju returns with you. The Black Dragon outfit you get forced into would no doubt be highest quality of all the three, though it lacked the homely feel of Toman's that you and Mitsuya designed and made together, and the sheer chaotic energy of Tenjiku's. This one would scream elegance and money, soft fabrics and silk only for the Black Dragon Princess.

And then its finally Taiju, Koko, and Inupi's turn to show you off to their gang in your new princess outfit, which you, of course, had to wear everywhere if not they would cry and not be your friend anymore.

This would end in an all out clash between the three gangs because all of them would see you wearing the other's outfit as a declaration of war - you were {insert gang founder/executives' name} best friend, and no one else's, and you were only allowed to pamper and love them and no one else.

I would say very thankfully for all the boys involved, and the general Tokyo region, that you aren't very malicious or ill-intent - no doubt you would be able to easily convince the boys to do anything for you, anything that your little heart desires. Need someone beaten up and their house torched? Done, Mikey, Baji and Kazutora have the charred remains of their furniture and house in the front yard to proudly show you by nightfall, while Mitsuya, Draken and Pah make sure no one rats. Need a company put down for refusing to refund you? Done, Koko, Taiju and Inupi have the entire board bowing to you and pleading for mercy the next day. Need an entire school under your thumb? Izana, Kakucho and the Haitani brothers will drag even the principal out to listen to you and make it happen.

Ahh, thankfully you're such a good person at heart, and nice squishy who is simply happy to be with your boys and pamper them with homecooked meals and lots of love.

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mistressoftherant-blog · 1 year

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The 2012 Boys and Mikey

I have seen so many posts and fics claiming that most of the '12 boys are abusive towards Mikey, as well as saying that 12 Mikey would be treated so much better by the Rise boys, and I just wanted to take a minute to explain why I don't really agree with this take, why I think it is painting the other 12 boys in a particularly unfair light, and why I can't really see the Rise Donnie treating 12 Mikey in a different way than 12 Donnie.

Firstly, and an argument that probably everyone has heard before, is that whenever Mikey is slapped or is made fun of, this is a normal things for siblings. And I 100% agree with this. I myself only have an older sister, so I can't quite say that I know what having brothers is like, but from my own experiences (and what I've seen/heard from family members and friends), most siblings, especially brothers, will be at each ohers throats both physically and verbally one minute, and the next will be laughing and joking together. Because you know your sibling doesn't really mean it, and most of the time you're giving as good as you get. Which brings me on to my next point, which is that Mikey absolutely gives back as much crap as he gets.

Throughout the series, Mikey is consistently shown to be a stereotypical, annoying little brother. He will constantly poke and prod at his brothers, despite being well aware of their tempers and how they will respond to his taunting (he does this to both Raph and Donnie's tempers, and also messes with them when they are stressed out/scared). He is also very willing to insult his brothers, as they do to him. He's not some innocent baby getting assaulted whenever the mood strikes his siblings, he instigates all the time.

Another thing that irks me is when fanfics portray 12 Donnie as being a worse brother than Rise Donnie for not wanting his Mikey in his lab. This is completely unjustified seeing as both Mikey's are pretty different characters who react to things differently, which in turn influences how their Donnie's treat them. Rise Mikey seems to come across as more mature in many ways than his counterpart. Sure, he still likes to fool around, and he can still be clumsy, but for the most part he seems to be (for lack of a better word) a bit more respectful towards his brothers' boundaries. 12 Mikey, on the other hand, is often shown to be messing around in Donnie's lab/with dangerous things, causing a bunch of accidents and endangering others numerous times. Of course 12 Donnie wouldn't want him anywhere near his lab, Mikey could get hurt, could get someone else hurt, or could destroy a bunch of research/equipment which would mean wasting a bunch of Donnie's time/effort, as well as a need to replace items which are already hard to come by when you are a mutant living in a literal sewer.

I also believe that Rise Donnie would refuse to let 12 Mikey anywhere near his lab after seeing the carnage he regularly causes. No little brother from an alternative dimension privilege would stop Rise Donnie's homicidal tendencies one his lab gets blown up for the nth time after 12 Mikey touches something he was warned to stay away from. His own brothers barely get a pass. Also, the Rise brothers are also shown to hit each other when someone is being too annoying etc (of the top of my head, I know Raph smacks Donnie with a sandal during The clothes don't make the turtle)

This is in no way me bashing 12 Mikey, he doesn't set out to hurt anyone most of the time (again, he does set out to rile his brothers up a lot though), but I'm rather frustrated with people acting like he gets treated absolutely awfully in the show, when half the time he doesn't even get held accountable for his own actions (his negligence mutated ice cream kitty, he gets a cool pet out of it. His actions almost get Donnie's mind destroyed, he somehow manages to create the cure and faces basically no punishment for it. Other characters are punished in similar scenarios, for example, Raph loses Spike due to his mistake with the mutagen, and also almost gets himself and his brothers killed, even when Slash becomes good, it still isn't the same.) It's also unfair to act as if Raph and Donnie are abusive. Sure, they aren't always perfect, and they could probably stand to shout at him and slap him less, bit I think their reactions are mostly justified, and again, fairly standard when it comes to siblings.

12 Splinter also seems to get on Raph and Donnie's cases more for teasing/taunting their brothers, whereas I can't really recall Mikey being told of for doing the same thing (please let me know if I am wrong on that), though that is a whole different kettle of fish, looking at how Splinter definitely favours Leo, and to an extent Mikey, over Donnie and Raph.

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songmingisthighs · 1 year

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[11.09] high school student!junghoon × high school student!reader

⇀ bus crush gone wrong

⇁ TIS THE JUNGHOON IDEA I SUDDENLY GOT @flowerboykun YOU DID THIS !!!! YOU ENABLED ME !!! TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES !!!!

wc : 2.3 k

genre : fluff, high school au

buy me coffee ??

For reasons your friends don't know, you've always liked taking the bus. Some would say those buses are too packed, too many creeps around, and too suffocating no matter the time or day, but not you. Maybe it's because your school and hakwon are rather close so you didn't have to ride the bus long, maybe it's because your bus is usually isn't as packed as the others. Or maybe it's the cutie from your hakwon who you share your bus with.

It might be creepy-adjacent for you to be gawking at him every now and then but how could you not? You've seen him around with some of his friends, some from the grade above and some in the same grade as he. You've seen them running around to and in the hakwon before the class starts or after as they rush out to the bunsik stand at the corner or to an arcade. Not much is known about him as you both don't share the same class other than the fact that his name is Kim Junghoon and he was from a school near yours and they dismiss their students around the same time as yours so you get to wait at the bus stop with him, ride the bus with him, and go to the same hakwon as him.

So it wasn't even surprising to see Junghoon at the bus stop before you did. He was sitting on the bench casually with his headphones on. You were curious about the kinds of music he likes but you had no way to know or even to ask if you could know because let's be honest, the man looks unapproachable. So you settled with just looking at him from afar.

Once the bus arrived, Junghoon and the other few people at the bus stop got into the bus first before you did which was a wrong move on your part. When you got in, you realized that the bus was more packed than before, so instead of going to your usual seat, you were stuck standing. Luckily enough, you were able to stand next to Junghoon who barely noticed your presence anyways so you settled with standing right next to his seat with your body facing the front of the bus. During the ride, he was busy playing on his phone as he would usually do but from where you were, you were able to take several accidental peeks at what he was doing on it like playing this cat games and texting his friend group or his mom which was absolutely surprising and adorable because he wasn't even texting her with just one or two words but a full-blown two paragraph detailing what he did, what he ate and what he planned on eating after hakwon.

When the bus arrived at its next stop, more people got in and only three people got off. Now you were starting to understand why your friends hate the bus. People were shoulder to shoulder with each other but there was still space to breathe. Unfortunately, as the bus started driving, one dumbass decided that he didn't want to be in the middle back side of the bus and he started moving forward which caused other people and you to shift around awkwardly. It wasn't until the bus slowed down at a red light that you lost your balance and before you could stop yourself, you fell on Junghoon's lap.

For a moment, your body froze in the same position and with eyes wide staring across you in absolute shock. Slowly, with fear running up your spine, you turned to look at Junghoon who was simply looking at you with a blank expression, seemingly unfazed by the surprising turn of events. You thought you could skate by, apologize and just move far away from him as you curse yourself for thinking that standing next to him was a good thing. God, you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

However, Junghoon opened his mouth before you could do anything.

"Can you move?"

Chills ran up your spine from hearing his voice but also from the dreaded realization that he had just said something that the whole bus heard loud and clear. The way the words were phrased made it seem like he was annoyed by what happened even though it was by accident. Embarrassment punched you in the gut and suddenly it felt like everyone was staring and snickering at you and you know you shouldn't feel as bad because it was definitely an accident, you didn't want it to happen but it did and there was nothing you can do to undo the unfortunate accident.

The bus suddenly came to a full stop at another bus stop which was only two stops away from your usual stop to your hakwon. But you didn't care about going to hakwon anymore. You simply muttered a soft 'sorry' to Junghoon and dashed off without looking back. Had you looked back, however, you would realize that Junghoon was taken aback by your reaction to him asking you to move. You ran past the bus stop, not really knowing where to go but you stopped once you rounded a corner to crouch down and let the horror sink in. You had absolutely no idea how you were able to have possibly one of the best but at the same time one of the worst days ever, the notion was beyond you but it did happen and it sucks. Without thinking twice, you covered your face with your arms and let out the stress away with a muffled scream, completely oblivious that the bus you rode passed by behind you and that there was a pair of eyes watching you until the vehicle drove off.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

For the next couple of days, you decided to avoid Junghoon altogether. You didn't even went to hakwon the day you fell on him which promoted the hakwon to call your mom asking about your attendance which then got you scolded for skipping. Although, when you told her what happened, her anger slipped slightly and while she still scolded you for skipping, she completely understood the fear and within two hours, you both were able to have a more logical conversation about coping strategies that don't involve running away and skipping your responsibilities. One of them was taking the bus before or after him and since before was not an option, you were forced to take the bus after the one you usually take. But the unfortunate thing about that plan was arriving at your hakwon late and receiving a tardiness notice twice for both days you tried getting on the later bus. The shitty thing about your hakwon was that the third notice of the semester means that they would check you absent on your attendance record and that might ruin your chance of getting into the good CSAT prep class and you just couldn't risk that.

So you found yourself on the third day taking your usual bus with dread in your gut, making it seem like you wanted to puke. It was horrible and even more so because it seemed like you were being beyond paranoid for actively trying to avoid Junghoon. You hated the feeling. In fact, you absolutely detest it. So you decided to not even wait at the bus stop at the risk of having Junghoon see you and maybe it was just your fear but you did not want him to announce to the whole bus stop that you fell on him three days ago. Heck, you even wore a hoodie to cover your uniform in case he remembered. So you just kept to yourself a little further away without even checking if Junghoon was there until the bus arrived. Even then, you made sure to get in a little later than everyone else, a couple moments before the door closes even. Rushing to the back and passing Junghoon in his seat.

Or, someone who you thought was Junghoon.

Because just as the door closes, a figure slipped in and looked around before he made eye contact with you. Your eyes widened and almost immediately you wanted to jump out the window or move away to a more secure location on the bus (which let's be honest, doesn't exist because it's a bus and not a fallout bunker). Not wanting to be thought of as a jittery freak by other passengers, you planted your feet firmly and just let Junghoon approach you like some kind of animal. It was surprising, to say the least when he stopped right in front of you and suddenly changed the position of his backpack from his back to his front, covering his chest. Then he did something that made your heart skip a beat from fear, nerves, and uncertainty, he used both of his hands to hold onto the overhead handgrips, making you even more nervous than you already were for no reason.

The first five minutes were the worst, you think. You wanted to get your earphones and watch videos on your phone but you were overthinking everything so much that you were unable to do anything other than look down at your foot. You don't know what exactly was Junghoon doing or what he was thinking when he suddenly appeared in front of you like that. Though you don't know if you wanna find out because what if this was his revenge for making him uncomfortable several days prior? Whatever it is, you simply wanted to coast through this ride before possibly disappearing off the face of the earth leaving the legacy of the history of your embarrassment. Should be fun, right?

But of course, your body betrayed you when the SAME red light caused the bus to slow to a stop and as expected, you stumbled and fell onto Junghoon, or more likely his bag.

"So you're just clumsy, huh? Here I thought that was just your way of introducing yourself to me,"

The speed of your head snapping up to him was enough to give you a whiplash. You were surprised that he was smirking down at you playfully, teasingly even. Or was it just your imagination? Was he mocking you?

Once again, the bus stopped at the next stop which was the stop you got off and ran out to several days prior. But this time, even with Junghoon teasing you, you made no move to get off which, not that you realize nor know, Junghoon was glad for. As people boarded the vehicle, Junghoon shifted which made you press your back to the seat next to you out of surprise. From his initial position of simply being in front of you, he had now moved to your side slightly and he moved one of his hands to grip the overhead handgrips so that he was completely covering you from other people. It wasn't like the bus was packed or anything, so what was he covering you from?

"I... Noticed you weren't on the bus these past two days but you were at the hakwon," he started, which made you cringe at his realization of your existence around him. Had you looked up, you would've seen Junghoon cringing at how he phrased his words. Maybe he should listen more to Minjae when he said he needs to brush up on his vocabulary and communication skills because as the man said, Junghoon has the same communication and social skill as a raccoon. "I-I mean, I usually see you on the bus before hakwon but you weren't there but then I see you at the hakwon during breaks so I was... Confused," you looked up to him in curiosity to see that he was avoiding your general area in favour of looking to the side and you even noticed that there was a slight tint of red on his cheeks which made you double-take just to make sure. Never would you have guessed that he was capable of being so devastatingly adorable that it made you bite back a smile. "You... Take notice of me?" you asked, slowly becoming braver due to your curiosity about him. Junghoon glanced back at you only to see you looking at him with eyes that made his heart skip a beat and a lump form in his throat. He nodded slowly at your question, however, "Kind of," lies, he DEFINITELY notice how you always sit in the middle of the row and on the right side of the room in your hakwon classroom. He DEFINITELY noticed the fact that you don't usually snack on your way to hakwon but you would sometimes swing by the convenience store to get your favourite drink and no matter the weather or day, you would more often than not drink the same thing. He DEFINITELY noticed how you're just a naturally kind person, always considerate of others without even having to try. Yeah, he didn't 'kind of' notice you.

At the revelation that he might have (definitely) noticed you, you couldn't help but stand a little taller and took a half step closer to him. Your initial embarrassment and need to evade him were completely gone and your love of taking the bus was renewed.

Moreover, Junghoon leaned even closer to you and let you slightly rest your weight on his arm, he was trying to be as discreet as possible but you couldn't help but notice what he was doing. Knowing that the both of you were still slightly awkward slightly with each other, you decided to not point it out and just enjoy the closeness with him.

"D-do you think I can accompany you to the bus stop after hakwon?" he asked in a soft voice.

Yeah, bus stops are great. People who said otherwise don't know what they were talking about.

network :

permalist :

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@cultofdionysusnet @kflixnet

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onewmin · 7 months

Text

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 12 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, Minors dni, smut, mentions of suggestive themes, an unhealthy amount of Taylor Swift references, another episode of dumbassery of these two clowns, profanity, some personal growth (i guess????); typos

Word count: around 7000 (im sorry 💀)

Author’s note: ugh, well... It is what it is. Hope you don't hate me <3 Enjoy the chapter! (this is NOT the end of the deries, btw) Tell me what you think! I'm always hoping for a feedback :)

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 11 | Part 13

“Do you like that?”

Nodding absentmindedly, Chan furrowed his brows at the shivering sensations of Micha bouncing up and down his cock. His fingers were leaving crescent marks on her hips; Chan hissed at her digging her nails in his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut, he held onto her for dear life - just to get that final, luscious release he’s been craving lately.

Another moan left her lips as she sank down his length; Chan, on the other hand, was trying his best to ignore the sounds she’s been making. Because with every sigh of hers, with every whimper that left her mouth the only thing Chris could think about was you. The sounds you were making when in bed with him; the way your long nails dug in his shoulders when he would thrust into you as deeply as it was possible; your silky skin under his fingers when you’d cling onto him, coming back from your high. Every moan of Micha’s was replaced by your soft voice and fucked-out smile whenever he would caress you cheek.

Chan shook his head; and when he opened his eyes, you weren’t there. But Micha was. She was everything he could’ve ever asked for - however, she was still not enough. Her long blonde hair, styled differently every day, her toned body - as if she’d trained along with him; her sweet love and caring persona, their difference in height, her wearing the ‘feminine’ style Chan absolutely loved - all of it seems to be a dream come to true for him, right? She reasoned with him just the right amount - without turning it into a full-blown aggressive pillow fight; she was on board with giving him space, she was… Right for him. If ‘right’ meant being as unhappy as he was, he probably has made a wrong choice.

The water in the shower ran as Chan stood on the balcony of his apartment. Wearing nothing but his pajama pants, he shivered under a rather chilly early morning wind. 2 AM. Micha came over three hours ago, right after they left the club together. Endless partying, new people, bonding over alcohol and making fun of their exes, Chan felt a tingling in his chest every time his mind would wander to the thoughts of you. No amount of liquor could wash away the handprints you left on his soul; it seemed as though you traced your fingers all over his skin and all over his insides, his ribs, his heart.

Every time he brooded over the relationship you shared, Chan couldn’t come to a proper conclusion of what he was supposed to do. Was he supposed to run after you, chase the dream of the woman he loved even after you threw him away? Well, it's the other way round, actually, but it didn’t really change much: you were far away physically now. Emotionally though, you’d been distant for way longer; was it his fault? It certainly was - it’s not like you were absolutely innocent in this mess, but less at fault than him. It took Chan several months and a new, rotting relationship to realize it.

Micha’s warm arms wrapped around his torso, pulling Chan from his endless reflection on the poor choices he’s ever made. “Let’s go to bed”, she murmured; her cheek was resting on his back, and Chan sighed, hands still gripping the railings.

“Micha”, he uttered, “d’you love me?”

She frowned. “We’ve only been back together four months. It’s too early to…Say something like that”.

Chan chuckled, gently getting her arms off his body. He sat down on the chair and continued staring at the city lights; no matter how much he loved Melbourne, it didn’t feel like home anymore. It seemed as an exile, a place he was sent off to reminisce about his past, perfect life. An exile without the love of his life.

“‘Cause I don’t think I do”, he muttered, chin resting on the palm of his hand. Micha sat down oppositely and took another hand of his in hers.

“Again, it’s been too little time”, to Chris, the softness in her voice sounded like poison - as if he’d willingly drank a bottle of toxins to erase the tiniest memory of the love he lost. “‘T’s too early to know for sure”.

“You think so?” He looked at her for the first time in the last few minutes. Micha nodded, giving him a small smile.

“We can still work it out”, she stood up and took a couple of steps to go back inside, “unless”, she stopped to turn her head to look at him, “it’s something that you want with me”.

Chan’s eyes darted from the balcony door to the city in desperate attempts of holding back tears; with her, with Micha? What does he even want from her? Chan has absolutely zero clue now. She’s a wonderful person, a beautiful woman, who seems to have affection towards him for some reason, and Chan? He only uses her to forget, to bury himself so deep in her that he wouldn’t have to maniacally think about the other woman. The other woman he pushed away himself when the only thing she wanted was to give him love he’s been craving for so long. The love from her he’s been praying for, the love he’s been suppressing even after finally having her. But did he really have her? Did he really get the girl he’d dreamed of? The only thing he did was raiding her most sacred temple with his barbaric hands, tearing down her shrines of love - only to kick her out of her own sanctuary. He left it with emptiness as well, bringing out nothing but the last pieces of adoration she had left for him. How cruel of him to only realize it now.

Does he have any choice to get through? Can he just show up at your doorstep, bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hands? Will you accept his apologies? Will you take him back? That’s something he’s never tried; to apologize, to kneel in front of you, with a will to give you anything you ask for - just to get the slightest hint of forgiveness. Because if he spends another day with someone else sleeping next to him but you, Chan will go insane. It takes everything in him not to moan your name when making love to her; it takes everything not to call out your name when he comes home. The mere mirage of you follows him anywhere he goes, and it’s something he doesn’t want to fight anymore.

“Do you think about her?” Micha’s question hit him out of nowhere and Chan gulped, turning his face away from her. She sat up on the bed; her fingers touched his chin, bringing his gaze back to hers. “Don’t ignore me”.

Staring into the darkness, Chan let out a deep sigh, feeling helpless. “Does it matter?”

“It does. To me”. The slightest notes of hurt in her voice were hidden, but Chan was able to catch them; to realize Micha really started falling for him again, when he never reciprocated in the first place… Nothing. Chan didn’t feel the heavy weight of his consciousness dawn on him like it did before - nothing. Micha might’ve felt betrayed, but Chan couldn’t say he was able to care.

“I do. Satisfied?”

Micha sighed and looked away for a moment. “Why did you take me here then? Why not her? And cut the bullshit with the ‘fight’ you two had”, she interrupted him way before he was able to utter a word, “it could’ve been easily resolved in seconds”.

“‘Cause she’d never go”, Chan mumbled, “‘cause I’ve been an ass to her and she doesn’t trust me anymore”.

“But why would she never come with you?”

“Just ‘cause”, Chris shrugged his shoulders, “she’s not as spontaneous as you and I are”. Chan didn’t really want to discuss the perks of his relationship with Micha - she had a personal interest, after all. He turned to the right side, facing the open balcony; closing his eyes, he felt Micha’s arm wrap around his waist. Suppressing the desire to sigh, Chan let his body snuggle into hers, pressing his back to her chest; having at least some sort of comfort was not bad, after all.

“Did you dream about me?” A ticking whisper sent shivers down his spine; feeling your fingers run up and down his abs, Chris put on his best act not to show he was awake. Actually, he woke up ten minutes before you did - instead of getting up, he preferred to just lay there, your arms wrapped around his waist, fingers intertwined. But you, on the other hand… After whimpering and stretching, your hand was back on his body, whispering absolute atrocities in his ear.

“Was it a wet dream?” You said softly one more time before pinching skin on his forearm.

“Ouch!” Chris finally gave up on his act and turned to face you; knowing his revenge would’ve been instant, you already were out of the bed.

“I’ll hop in the shower!” Chan let out a laugh. You were not the one to indulge in morning sex easily - even though the two of you would do it sometimes, you whined about it almost all the time. You hated the morning breath, the afternight sweat, the tiredness, the timing. Morning sex wasn’t your cup of tea, but, God, you loved winding him up; sometimes Chan thought you enjoyed spilling dirty words more than the sex itself.

Chan trudged from your bedroom to the kitchen; several minutes later, when he was sipping on the orange juice, he felt your arms wrap around his waist. “Morning”, you said, your chin resting on Chan’s shoulder.

“Morning”, he responded, a smile creeping up his face. “You slept well?” You hummed in response and left a kiss on the back of his neck; turning around to face you, he only saw your back as you stared at the open fridge. Delving in your figure, Chan drew his lower lip between his teeth as he watched his shirt shamelessly lift and expose your ass when you stretched your arms. Chan took a small step to leave a loud smack on your butt; yelping, you were caught in his arms, as he placed a kiss on your cheek.

“You asked ‘bout my dream”, he rasped in your ear, pressing your body further into his, “still wanna know what it was?” His hand toyed with the hem of your shirt, fingers running down to your closeted core. You let out a gasp.

“Not really”, your quiet answer made him furrow his brows, “if you tell, it’s gonna result in sex. Don’t really wanna have it now”, you turned around and gave him a smile. “D’you wanna have eggs for breakfast?”

Sitting on the floor, another episode of a reality show running on the TV, Chan and you chewed on the omelets and tomatoes, a favorite breakfast of yours. When you commented on yet another thing on TV, Chan stole glances of you - just to catch every little thing about you that he could. The way your eyes were squinting when you grinned, how you talked back to the people on TV if they did something stupid, the way your head fell back when you were frustrated.

“What the hell is wrong with these people?” You whined, putting the dishes in the sink. “Like why would you even consider gettin’ married after a week of datin’?” You turned on the water - the cold one, presumably - and got the sponge wet. Chan clicked his tongue and almost sprinted from his place in front of the TV to the kitchen space, taking the sponge away from you.

“Stop”, he almost growled, “I know you hate washin’ the dishes”. He turned on the hot water as well. “Y’know, there’s also one more type of water except for the cold one”, his remark earned him a slight smack on the shoulder. The both of you laughed it off, as you wiped the dishes (another chore you preferred to ignore).

“Thanks”, you uttered when he was done. Chan returned the smile and put his hands on your waist as your arms were wrapped around his neck. “Maybe I should hire you to clean up?”

Chris chuckled. “My price is too high for you”.

“Huh?” Her eyes gleamed. “How much is it?”

Too high, Chan thought, peering into her hazel orbs, my price is you, my price is you loving me back. Instead of saying what was needed to be said a long time ago, he shook his head and left a small kiss on your forehead. “Nothin’, forget it”, he squeezed your waist. “I’m just lucky to have you”, he muttered, “as my best friend”. The latter wasn’t supposed to be said, but seeing your startled expression when he said the first part of his sentence, he realised you weren’t ready for his confession, it was too early. Maybe later, maybe some time after-

“Stop”, you mumbled. Chan’s brows knitted as took in the expression on your face; you stared right back into his eyes, an ocean flooding yours. “Stop it. You’re losin’ me. It’s too late”.

A sudden gasp woke Chan up; as he sat on the bed out of the habit rather than a reflex, he pressed his hand to his chest, trying to even his breath. A dream of one of your mornings together ending in this? That’s not what you said back then; Chan frowned, his fingers massaging his forehead, but your exact words couldn’t come to mind. That’s not what you said, he’s sure of it!

Burying his face in his hands, Chan took a deep breath and let it out. How come a dream of you turned into a nightmare? How come even in his dreams he has to see you cry? How come he can never find peace, not even asleep? How come you’re the only thing on his mind, even after all of these months?

“You’re okay?” Micha uttered. “What time is it?”

“Dunno”, Chan snarled, “go back to sleep”.

He stood up and walked to the living room - just to avoid Micha for a couple of minutes. He didn’t want to answer her questions nor wanted to speak at all - his mind wasn’t just there yet. As he sat on the couch, a phone in his hands, the time didn’t even surprise him - he slept only for two hours.

Scrolling down the news, his search brought him back to the fire that happened four months ago. Even after all this time Chan still couldn’t be at peace with the thought of you being with Yugyeom that night. It was him, Chan, who was supposed to be there, to help you, to save you, to comfort you - him, not Yugyeom! Why would he even show up again? Was he… No, Chan refused to believe that. Yet still, he blamed you for holding onto your first love - maybe he wasn’t wrong after all. Or perhaps, he should’ve given you the opportunity to explain everything? Maybe if he did, he wouldn’t have been as miserable as he was now. There would be no pain, no leading Micha on for something he couldn’t even give her, no exile.

What was it that you said in that dream? ‘You’re losing me, it’s too late’? But how can it be so? How?

“Not ‘you lost me’”, Chan murmured staring into the wall, “but ‘You’re losin’ me’”. What if he still has a chance to mend the two of you? What could stop him but his irritating pride?

Chris didn’t need much time to think about his next actions - so, in mere minutes he was browsing the airline website, getting the tickets on the nearest date - which convenietly happened to be today. If it doesn’t work out, his parents were in Seoul, Minho was there - so he would find a way to kill time before going back to Melbourne, right? Right?

Chan let out a sigh, leaning in the soft cushions. It feels like his last chance to chase the train that has just left the station. It left, but Chan is still running, he’s still screaming for it to stop ‘cause he’s sure he’ll get in. Maybe they just don’t hear him? Maybe they didn’t know he was late? They’d stop if they found that out, right? Right? Nevertheless, Chan’s still running, even if the train doesn’t want him to be its passenger.

Looking at the white ceiling, Chan questioned whether you’d want to see him. What if you slam the door right in front of him? “Whatever”, he turned on a random video on his phone, “I’ll get through. I know she feels the same way, I know it’s not gone. I know it”.

Micha was gone at 5 AM; as soon as the door was closed, Chan rushed to his closet to collect the best of his clothes, the ones you loved seeing him in, some new items he knew you’d steal from him - he wanted to look his absolute greatest in front of you. After all, the two of you didn't see each other for how long? Almost six months? More?

Chan wondered if you’d changed much, wondered if you’d kick him out or welcome him back with open arms. And as his suitcase was packed in less than twenty minutes, he sat back on the bed, staring at his phone. He booked the nearest flight - which was in two hours - and now was waiting for his cab. A whole ass journey from Melbourne to Sydney and from Sydney to Seoul – all for just an attempt at mending things. Perhaps, he should’ve done that earlier, so that he wouldn’t have to spend more than twelve hours on the road just for the possibility of having a crumb of your forgiveness. Although, was he even able to apologize?

Another flow of thoughts guided Chan through his first flight to Sydney; with a mask on his face and a cap on his head, Chris was almost unrecognizable. Besides, no one had the slightest idea of his whereabouts — just a few hours ago, while sitting at the airport, he posted a story of himself, marking Melbourne as the place where he was currently. No messages from Han or Felix or Micha; today was supposed to be his day off, so it was quite convenient no one had reached out to him. Yeah right. Why would they when the only thing he does is push everyone away? Felix, his childhood friend, even expressed to him he couldn’t recognise Chan anymore. Maybe it was for the best; after all, everyone grows up and changes their personality, right? “Nah, that’s not quite it”, Felix observed his friend’s face attentively, “it’s like you’re less…you. Feels as if something’s twisted your brain”. What would Felix know anyway, right? Right?

Three hours passed before his flight to Seoul took off; when taking his place near the plane window and putting his seatbelt on, Chan’s phone started buzzing. Oh shit, the manager-agent might be furious.

“Where are you?” Jisung’s voice was surprisingly calm.

“Where are you?” Chan responded. Attacking is the best form of defense, after all.

“I’m at your place”, he responded, “you didn't open the door, so I got in myself. You’re gonna be home soon?”

“Why?” Chris stared at another airplane in the distance. “Missing me already?”

Han clicked his tongue and let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re not my type, Bang”. After chewing on something - is this fucker eating my food? - he continued. “So, when are you coming back? I have a business proposal to discuss”.

“What’s that?”

Another sigh left Jisung’s mouth. “I hate when you do that”.

“To put it shortly, that LA label we’ve talked about a couple of weeks ago”, Han chewed on the food again, “they wanna meet up. If you ask me”, he kept on talking - leaving no chance for Chan to even utter a word, “I’d say we should go. Maybe you’ll be able to get out-” He stuttered for a moment. “I mean, you’ll have more opportunities. And a better contract, I presume. And less control”.

“When do they wanna meet up with us?” Chan twisted a ring on his finger absentmindedly.

“At the end of the week. Saturday afternoon”. Han plopped on the couch. “Tell me when you’re gonna be back and I’ll prepare a whole ass presentation for you”.

Now it was Chan’s turn to sigh. He’ll surely be back till Saturday, right? “Actually, Han, I-” His voice suddenly became small, weak even. Jisung will kill him if Chris misses this lifetime opportunity because of a girl. “I’m on the plane to Seoul”.

Silence. Chan couldn’t even hear the sound of Han’s breathing, the chewing abruptly stopped. The only thing Chris could feel was the wave of anxiety that was rising from his stomach up to his throat. Perhaps, he was making a huge mistake; his career was about to bloom on an absolutely different level and what was he doing? Running back to someone who couldn’t even unblock him to hear his side to all of it?

“I have no words, Chan”, Han’s voice had anything but the regular shrill tone to it. “After half a year you decided now was a good time to mend things?” Chris didn’t respond. Because he couldn’t; he didn’t even know what to say. “I appreciate your, um, your determination”, for some reason, Jisung was very careful with his words - or was he just being soft ‘cause it was a painful topic for his friend? “But the two of you haven’t even talked to each other for six months. You stalking her through my account doesn’t count”.

Jisung was a voice of reason; both of you didn’t even exchange a greeting in the past six months. Why did he think you’d be open to speaking to him? Why would you even open the door when you’d see his face? What if you and Yugyeom are already a couple? What if…

“I get your concerns, Han”, Chan spoke in a low voice, “trust me, I do. And I’ve had doubts too, but-” He chewed on his lower lip, “I have to try. Maybe that’s what she’s waiting for. Maybe she’s waiting for me to come back”.

Han huffed. “You’re a delusional idiot”. He drew in a breath. “Anyway, hope you mend whatever needs to be mended. Come back till Saturday”. Jisung was ready to hang up but continued. “Y’know, I get it. The love of my life did the same number on me as you did on her. And I was the one who waited for the… For the apology, a text, a letter - anything. Never received a word.” He chuckled. “Good luck, man”.

An elderly woman sat up next to him as Chan stared at the screen of his phone. Han was not the one to share the intimate details of his life; however, this felt more like a possible outcome rather than a warning. If everything works out in his favor, Chan will get the girl and a new career break. Everything seemed like his ideal world turned into reality. Well, the reality was not there yet; but Han didn’t call him delusional for nothing.

It was snowing heavily when Chan stepped out of the airport.

He jumped in the cab, rushing to his apartment; it was almost 8 PM, but he wanted to see you today. Having taken a quick shower and put on his sweater and jeans, Chan texted Minho. ‘Hey man, you’re at ur studio tonight?’

Lee Know responded almost immediately. ‘Hey, Hyunjin and I are having one more dance class before closing. Why’d you ask?’

‘Just ‘cause. Wanted to talk’. Chan typed.

‘Yeah, I’ll be free for around forty minutes then. I’m picking up Eunjoo after her art class’.

‘Is she going there alone?’

‘Stfu. It’s not Eunjoo you wanna know ‘bout’.

‘Man, please. Just tell me’.

Chan could physically feel Minho sigh, shake his head and then smack his shoulder. ‘Kay. She’s there too. They finish at 9, but they planned to wait for me at the coffee shop nearby’. He texted an address immediately.

‘Thank you, Minho’.

‘Fuck off, pls. I’m tired of watching this drama”.

“Hey, everything’s okay?” You asked Eunjoo as the two of you were sharing a late-evening dessert; the art class you’ve been attending lately was exciting, but exhausting at the same time. And after each class of painting and drawing, the two of you tended to get yourselves a nice little sugary treat.

She went silent for a moment as she looked at the message on her phone. “Yup, fine”, she gave you a small smile as she shoved her phone back in her purse, “Minho’s running a bit late”.

“Ah, I should’ve taken my car”, you leaned in the chair, “we would’ve been home already”.

“Don’t worry about it”, she took a bite of a pumpkin pie, “he promised to get us some junk food”. You put your chin on your hand and glanced at the ceiling dreamily; your desire to eat something greasy and fattening almost made you drool.

“How’s your training going?” Eunjoo took a sip of her tea.

“It’s good”, you nodded, “my new personal trainer is amazing. Did I tell you she’s a former stuntwoman?”

“No way!” Eunjoo’s eyes gleamed with excitement. Even though she looked happy, you couldn't help but notice that something's shifted after that text from Minho. Was she hiding something from you?

“Yeah, I was surprised too!” You continued. “Anyways… She put me on a pretty strict diet”. You sighed.

“By ‘strict’ you mean no McDonald’s?” Your friend laughed. You clicked your tongue and crossed your arms at your chest. “C’mon, it’s good for your health, you know it. Your internal organs have been begging for vegetables when you were feeding them french fries”.

“You’re insufferable”, you rolled your eyes. Eunjoo laughed at you one more time before letting out a breathy sigh.

“I can’t”, she uttered, “I can’t not tell you”.

“What d’you mean?” You took notice of her fidgeting in her seat and twisting her earrings nervously, as she always did when filled with doubt and anxiety.

“Chan’s here”, she said in a low voice, “and he’s coming to the cafe to see you”.

You felt your temples pulsating instantly - the first sign of a headache creeping in. The mere mention of his name brought you a whirlpool of jitteriness - your heart was still not at its place when you thought of him. But it was more of a… It was more because of painful memories of what could’ve been, of what should've been there if the two of you weren’t absolute assholes to each other. However, now, no matter how much you didn’t want to see him, no matter how much you distanced yourself from even thinking of him as often as you used to, he decided to impose himself on your almost stable state of mind. It’s his signature mark - to take away the opportunity to heal and speak from you. You’re almost healed. You’re almost fine. You’re going on dates, seeing new people, hanging out with Yugyeom without feeling guilty about it. You have a new life. You’re almost at the top without him, and he wants to see you? To speak?

“If you wanna run away, I won’t tell him”, she whispered, covering your hand with the palm of hers, “I don’t want you to see him either”.

It’s a whirlwind of events. One moment you’re sitting in your favourite cafe with your favourite person, and now you’re putting your coat on, grabbing your purse and almost flying from that same cafe just to escape the inevitable? As the door behind you close, you stop yourself from moving.

Yeah, seeing him will be hurtful, there’s no doubt in it. His silky voice and empty promises might lead you astray, sweeping all of your healing under the rug. Guess, his soft hands, intertwined with yours, might make you reconsider moving on. His curly hair and sweet smile might make you forget every small step you’ve taken to get over him in the past six months. It might happen, you were sure; but you were not a coward anymore. At least, you tried to be braver, bolder in your decisions; so you were not going to run away just because it might hurt you. You’d let it do so. You’d allow all of it to hurt you but only if it meant that this would be the last time it brought you pain.

So you took the straps of your purse in your hands, fingers clutching them. You walked a bit further, into the alley in front of the cafe and sat down on the snowy bench. The air was cold; you regretted not wearing a winter hat. You wrapped your scarf around your neck twice to create a feeling of warmness, only foaming your glasses instead. The snow was slowly falling on your hair, claiming you as one of its many winter princesses. You hated this season and this weather, and you hated being born in winter too - but tonight felt almost magical. Maybe it was because of your final acceptance of this mess, of your desire to endure as much pain now as you could to never feel it again; you felt a foreign tingling of relief in your chest. Maybe you will finally be free after tonight.

Your phone started buzzing out of nowhere; declining the caller through your smartwatch three times, you still had to pick up because he was simply irritating you. “What?” You almost barked at him.

“Hey, when’s your next date with this accountant guy?” Yugyeom sounded absolutely monotonous asking the question - as if you hadn’t just declined him three times in a row.

“The next date?” You were flabbergasted. “On Monday. Why?”

“D’you wanna set him up with this girl I’m seeing? I can’t do it anymore”.

“The PhD student girl? Why? Is she also only talking about her ex-boyfriend all the time?” He responded affirmatively; the accountant guy you were casually meeting up with was clearly not over his ex, as he kept on speaking about her with you. It was tiring, but you couldn’t brush him off for some reason; so Yugyeom’s plan might really help set you free.

And no matter how nervous you were, this conversation seemed to help you release some of the stress. Yugyeom and his brilliant ideas always helped. “What d’you wanna do?” You asked while leaning your head to the side; for some reason, the idea to squeeze the phone between the shoulder and your head wasn’t successful as the phone slipped and fell to the snowy ground. “Ah, shit”, you mumbled. “Gyeom, wait!” You said loudly, leaning forward and taking it back in your hands. “Thank God you’re working”, you muttered. The speaker turned on while it fell down but to Yugyeom, who had no idea, it didn’t matter as he proceeded to blabber on about his evil plan.

“We could hug a bit longer than needed”, he kept on as you tried to turn the speaker off, “maybe flirt with each other?” You could almost see him scratching his chin. Yeah, your phone was working, but the speaker wouldn’t turn off; it happened quite often lately, and you were sure it was the result of your phone being dropped too much in the course of two years of having it.

“In what way?” You uttered, simultaneously googling how to fix this random speaker problem.

“I don’t know”, he said sluggishly, “but I have an idea. I could just be like”, he cleared his throat, “you’re so sexy, babygirl. So sad you have a boyfriend. Wish you were mine”. His pretend husky voice could be just perfect if he didn’t let out a mewling sound at the end of the tirade. You giggled at his attempts to sound super masculine.

“But no kissing”, he warned.

You huffed. “Ew. As if”.

And as you wanted to add another word to the conversation, you saw something in the corner of your eye. Turning your head to the side, your gaze caught the bouquet of pink roses on the bench next to you. “Gyeom, I’ll call you back”. Shoving the phone in the pocket of your jeans, you stood up and turned around, only to see a painfully familiar figure slowly walk away.

“Chan?” He stopped in an instant. Your heart skipped a beat. No way it’s him. No way.

Having turned to face you, he gave you a lopsided grin almost immediately. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation with your boyfriend”.

“He’s not my-” You almost indulged in. Stopping yourself at the start of giving another set of excuses to him, you quickly ran through his previous sentence. The same poisonous tone of the voice, same spiteful expression worn on his face. It's been six months since the last time you saw him, and he still was angry with you. He still despised you.

“You didn’t come here to fight again, did you?” The tone of your voice suddenly obtained the notes of tiredness in it. If the only reason why he’s here is to quarrel with you all over again, all over the same shit - you were not going to stand and listen.

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m here”, he responded, arms crossed at his chest. “Thought we could mend things, but you clearly don’t need that”.

“How would you know?” You clenched your fists as you tried to calm yourself down; but the feeling of your nails digging into the soft flesh of your palms instantly flashed a memory of your last fight in your head. How you dug your nails deeper in your skin, leaving crescent marks, bleeding in front of him, swallowing his insults and hurtful words. You were not going to do it anymore. “How would you know?” You repeated the question louder. “”Cause you heard a piece of what you were not supposed to hear and drew a conclusion, based on something insignificant?”

“How else d’you want me to understand this?” He threw a hand in the air, pointing at you.

“How ‘bout fuckin’ askin’ me before jumping to conclusions?” Your voice was calm, you were collected. Last time your whole body was filled with anger and frustration, with pain you wanted to inflict on him. At the moment the only thing you wanted was peace.

“Askin’ you?” He chuckled. “Will you tell me the truth?”

“Chan”, you stated as softly as possible, “I don’t owe you the truth. As much as you don’t owe it to me”.

“Why am I even here then”, he mumbled, closing his eyes and sighing. “You clearly have moved on, so you don’t need my apologies”.

“Are they sincere?” You walked straight to him, only stopping when there were a few steps between. And before you could utter a word, the sudden flashback hit you back to six months ago, to a year ago even. The smell surrounding him was the perfume of yours he loved so much. He put it on before meeting up with you? What for? To make you nostalgic? To make you feel guilty? To make you think about the times he’d drag you to his bedroom just because you were wearing this same perfume? What for?

“Have I ever not been?”

You cleared your throat before continuing. “So, you know what you’re apologizing for? You’re really sorry? Is that what you wanna tell me?”

“Yeah”, Chan managed to muster; he felt absolutely dumb. His initial idea to beg for your forgiveness washed into thin air when he heard you speaking to Yugyeom. You sounded so happy and clearly in love that he couldn’t bear the thought of apologizing anymore. But… It still felt important to be said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve given you, us, a chance to talk it out. I’m sorry I’ve been harsh to you”. He drew in a breath and looked away before continuing. “And I’m sorry for not… For not tellin’ you how I felt earlier”.

It was important to be said, but Chan couldn’t feel the weight of guilt falling off his shoulders. It still felt the same; same heavy trail of pain following every word of his, same difficulty to breathe whenever he had to utter apologies. None of it seemed genuine even to him, and you, of all people, will never accept this bullsh-

“Okay”, you breathed out.

Chan frowned for a moment. “Okay? We’re okay?”

“Okay”, you repeated, lifting your head a little bit in a desperate attempt to prevent the tears falling from your eyes, “thank you for sayin’ this. I appreciate your honesty”. You drew in a breath again, fingers toying with the strands of your bag. “I’m sorry for puttin’ all of the blame on you - I was in the wrong too. I should’ve told you I loved you long before it all blew up”.

Chan almost brushed your apologies off - he didn’t need them. He didn’t blame you for not telling about your feelings sooner. “So… We’re cool now?” The hope in his voice broke your heart; he certainly wanted to go back together, start over, get past this mess. And it broke your heart even more, because you knew exactly what you were going to say next.

“But I don’t forgive you”, you looked him right in the eyes, “I can’t forgive you. Not now”.

“When then?” His voice was quiet, no daggers in it yet. His peachy curls, covered in snow, fell on his forehead, covering his brows. The hair color suited him; you wished you could put the distance between the two of you to nothing and bury your hands in the softness of his hair, inhaling his scent mixed with your perfume. You wished you could feel his arms wrap around you, surrounding you with warmness and safety you used to feel around him. You wished to go back to a sunlit bedroom in his apartment when the two of you were tangled in silk sheets, velvety lips leaving gentle kisses all over your body. You wished but you couldn’t. You weren’t able to.

“When we both heal”, you blinked several times in a row, “when we’re not sick anymore. When I don’t hate the mere idea of being with you again. When I don’t cry ‘cause I miss something that was never there”.

He was silent for a moment, his eyes glued to his shoes. “Do you hate me?” He mumbled.

“Not you”, you answered softly, “the idea I had of you in my mind. The real you has nothing to do with the guy I created in my head”.

“Can’t we at least be friends?”

“No”. You swallowed a lump in your throat, feeling it dissolve in your chest. “I’m tired of being ignored, tired of never being the first choice, tired of you not even-” You sighed deeply. “You can’t make our friendship public, can you? I mean, you obviously can, ‘cause you’ve posted about your childhood girl friend all over social media," you added, “but not with me. It’s impossible when it’s me for some reason”.

He murmured your name, taking a small step further. “You know you’re the most-” He gulped. “You’re my best friend, my soulmate. I just-”

“You don’t have to give excuses anymore, Chan”, you felt tranquility flow through your body, “I don’t ask you to. We’re too far gone to be back”. You put your hands in the pockets of your coat and sighed again. “I wouldn’t date me either, y’know. I’m not in the right mental state to be a healthy and stable partner, I’m aware of that. And I can’t forgive you until you realize you’re the same”.

Tired of bleeding, tired of fighting for something that was never there for you to hold onto, you finally felt the sensation of being relieved. If you engaged in, if you fell back into the trap of the idea of being loved by Chan, you would have to collect the pieces of yourself all over again. You’ve put too much effort into building yourself back that going back to looking at someone with storms in your eyes just because he wrote a song about his ex while being with you seemed destructive. The ruins of you that he left now were turned into a sad song about you that he released a couple of months ago; and you were more than a sad song. He wrote nothing about choosing not to risk his perfect image when you asked him to hold you hand in the street - ‘cause that would’ve brought attention to him, right? It’s always been him, him, him and never you, not even once.

“It’s good that you came here”, you gave him a small smile, “means we’re both growing”.

No more biting your nails, no more scratching your skin till it’s red and bleeding. You can finally go on, even without forgiving him. It’ll happen later, you guess, maybe tomorrow, maybe a year later. But what you did know for sure was that your love was not dying anymore; you sowed some seeds of hope and affection in your heart once again. But this time you were willing to grow a new kind of love - the love no one else but you could give to yourself.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara @whyyougottadothatbro

The story's masterlist <3

#bang chan #bang chan imagine #bang chan imagines #bang chan x oc #bang chan x female reader #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x you #bang chan x reader #bangchan #bangchan imagine #bangchan imagines #bangchan x y/n #bangchan x female reader #bangchan x you #bangchan x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #kim yugyeom imagines #kim yugyeom imagine

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shecagobaby · 2 years

Text

Love of My Life: Home

Hi! So this is the first chapter of a Joseph fic I’ve been writing in my spare time. I was originally just writing it for myself in the notes on my phone, but I have been encouraged to share. Honestly what started as an idea has turned into a full blown novel, so expect many chapters as I clean them up and proof read.

Warnings: None really, just mentions of sex. Now, I know that those that wanted me to share wanted smut- but do not fret my loves, the next chapter will be absolute FILTH. It is just not quite ready, so this is just the appetizer.

Pairing: Joseph Quinn x Y/N

Alright y’all, please be kind but I would also love feedback! (even if it’s just about the formatting, I haven’t posted in almost ten years, so I hope I’m doing this right. okay love you all enjoy)

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SEPT 2021

Nothing was more beautiful than London in the fall. The city was the same as it always was: heavy evening traffic, busy sidewalks, loud chattering as people headed home for the night. Even the familiar smell of beer and sweat that seeped out of the neighborhood pub was exactly the same. Yet something about crisp air and the changing trees made the most ordinary things unbelievably beautiful.

I smiled to myself as a cool gust of wind sent a shiver up my spine. Even though I was leaving a long meeting with my publisher, where I received some semi-harsh critiques on my most recent chapter of my novel, I felt like I was living in a dream world.

This autumn felt especially dreamy since Joseph was going to be home in a matter of days. He was scheduled to wrap filming ‘Stranger Things’ this week, so if things go smoothly he could potentially be back in my arms by the weekend. Being away from him had been hell. We lived together, so we saw each other every day, and during quarantine we spent every second together. Although we still chatted every day while he was on set, whether it was a quick text or a late night phone call, it wasn’t the same. I hadn’t felt him, held him, kissed him in what felt like forever. Our flat had lost his scent months ago. Each night I hugged his pillow, trying to get any indication that he was ever there.

The steamy pictures and unbelievably dirty words that would quietly leave his mouth on nights we especially missed each other were nothing compared to the real thing. My own fingers were nothing compared to his. I bit my lip as I thought about the things we would do to each other when he got back.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt my phone buzzing in my purse. I sighed as I rooted around in my bag searching for my phone. My hands moved quickly, hoping it was Joseph calling on his break, absolutely giddy at the thought of filling him in on the dirty thoughts that had crept into my mind.

I sighed when I noticed it was my best friend Tabitha, feeling a twinge of guilt at my disappointment when I saw her name instead of his. I groaned as I brought the phone to my ear, “hello?”

“Y/N, babe, what are you doing tonight?” I heard her Liverpool accent say on the other end.

I shrugged, “dunno, writing some, got some cleaning. Want the place to look nice when joseph gets back.”

“When’d ya become such a domestic bird?”She laughed, “I say you fuck all that boring shit and come get a drink with me and the girls.”

I rolled my eyes. Tabitha was always trying to get me to come out with them, but usually I would rather stay home. It used to be fun when I first moved to London . Tabitha was the first friend I made after moving here from Manhattan. We immediately took a liking to each other whilst waiting in line for the bathroom at some grimy club. Once Joseph and I started dating, and especially when he left, going out with her became more of a chore, “ya know, the pub isn’t very fun when you all leave me to go hook up with random guys.”

Over the last few months I hit the pub and clubs with them a handful of times, and it always turned into me bitching to Joe via phone call or text on the walk home because I was playing wing woman all night or they left me to chat up a guy at the bar.

“Oi, they aren’t random if you met them on tinder,” she joked.

“Oh yeah, what happened with the last guy?”

“Gotta be more specific, love. Might have been a few shags ago.”

I laughed at her promiscuous tendencies, while simultaneously feeling like an old maid. Tabitha was drop dead gorgeous: Great figure, huge tits, bright blue eyes, and long blonde hair. The only down side to Tabitha was she had unbelievable commitment issues. She would dissect every man she met until she found the tiniest reason to run for the hills.

“The one that was buying us tequila shots last time, he had that long hair you said you wanted to French braid,” I laughed remembering that night.

“Ugh, gorgeous hair, gorgeous cock, but he had a bird for a pet, ya know one of the ones that talk. He’d have full blown conversations with the damn thing. Dunno, made me feel weird,” she groaned.

I cackled, “C’mon, Tab, it’s not that weird. Lots of people have birds for pets.”

“Babe, would you want to fuck a lad that walks around the house looking like jack god damn sparrow with a bloody bird on his shoulder?”

I shook my head at the image in my mind, turning to walk up the steps that led to my building, “guess not.” I fumbled with my keys, holding the phone between my ear and my shoulder. I found the building key and put it in the lock, opening the door, “wouldn’t it shit on his shoulder?”

“Dunno, but I wasn’t going to stick around to find out,” she said. I started walking up the steps, climbing to my warm apartment. “So are you gonna come or not, feels like it’s been ages since I’ve seen ya.”

I sighed, “I don’t know yet, Tab. Been a long day, kind of want to be low key.”

I got the key to the flat Joe and I shared as I reached our floor, walking to the door and unlocking it, “No you just want to sit around waiting for Joe to give you a call.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled as i pushed the door open, she was not wrong about that. “Tab, you can’t blame me for missing my boyfriend, you’ve never had to do long distance.”

“That’s because I don’t do relationships, can’t miss someone if it’s not serious.”

As I entered the flat, I was enveloped by a warm sensation. It was much warmer than usual. I sighed, thinking about Tabitha’s offer. “Can I let you know?” I said shrugging off my purse and bending down to pet our dog, Mikey. I actually got Mikey when I was seventeen, long before I met Joseph.

I couldn’t help but smile as I reminisced about the first time Joseph met Mikey:

‘Michelangelo? Like the painter?’

‘No, the ninja turtle.’ I said as I introduced my boyfriend to the dog I referred to as my son.

“Hi, babe, had a good day?” I asked Mikey as I bent down to give him a few pets before he ran off. I furrowed my brows, usually Mikey would go crazy when I go home, but he did not want anything to do with me at the moment.

“Fine,” Tabbie said, I could feel her rolling her eyes through the phone, “Give my love to Michael. I’ll give you a call later, alright?”

“Talk to ya then,” I said taking the phone away from my ear and hanging up. I slid out of my jacket and hung it on the coat rack by the door.

“Hey, love.”

I gasped at the voice, whipping around to see my gorgeous boyfriend standing in the living room.

I froze, completely shocked. I blinked hard. Was this real? I stared at him, he was standing there with the fireplace going behind him. No wonder it was so warm, and it really explained why Mikey wasn’t interested in me. Often times I teased Joseph that he was in a relationship with my dog.

“Surprised?” He said smiling at me.

I felt like my heart was going to pop, tears pooled in my eyes. He was real, “oh my god, Joe.” I half screamed half sobbed as I spoke. I quickly moved to him. As I got closer he held his arms out for me.

I collided with him, he wrapped me up in a loving hug, lifting me up as Mikey danced at our feet. I instinctually wrapped my legs around his waist, squeezing him tight against me while I buried my nose between his neck and shoulder. His familiar scent clouded my senses. No matter what cologne he wore, he always smelt the same: mahogany, cigarettes, and spearmint never smelt so delicious. I tangled my fingers into his soft curls, desperately trying to bring him closer.

“I missed you so much,” he groaned into my neck, leaving a soft kiss there.

I pulled away to look at him, the tears in my eyes spilling over. I brought one of my hands to his cheek, running my thumb over his beautiful features. He leaned into my touch and hummed, his bright brown eyes staring into mine.

I couldn’t believe he was here. I leaned down to catch his lips in mine making butterflies erupt in my stomach. His soft lips felt like heaven against mine, i couldn’t believe I had almost forgotten what they tasted like. I put both my hands on his cheeks and kissed him harder as tears continued to fall down my face.

He broke the kiss to scan my face, “happy tears, yeah?” He whispered.

I laughed, “yeah.” He set me down on the ground, keeping one hand around me and the other came to my face to wipe away my tears. I placed my head to his chest, feeling his heart beat against my cheek. “I missed you so fucking much,” I whispered.

“I know, love. But I’m here, I’m back.” He sighed, resting his chin on the top of my head. Mikey let out a low bark as Joseph bent down to scoop him up in his arms, “Did you miss me, huh? Ya miss your dad?” my heart swelled, as I gave Mikey a few pets. Our little family was back together.

We stood there like that for who knows how long. A few seconds, minutes, hours? Who could tell?

He put Mikey back on the floor before he brought his hand to my chin, cupping it making me look at him. He leaned down to place a soft kiss to my lips. I hummed against his mouth and i felt him smile against mine. “I love you,” i breathed.

“I love ya, too. So fucking much.” He said resting his forehead against mine.

“How are you here?” I asked, running my hands down the soft fabric of his burnt orange shirt, biting my lip as I felt his warm skin underneath.

His hands roamed my back, the pressure of his fingers felt amazing. His hands moved down and slipped into the back pockets of my jeans. His breath fanned over my face as he said, “I finished up two days ago, thought I would surprise my girl.”

He placed a soft kiss to my forehead, “well it worked,” i sighed. “How’d you know i wouldn’t be home?”

He chuckled, a silly grin lighting up his face. “Agnes, she called me when you were leaving.”

I giggled and rolled my eyes. Agnes lived in our building. She was 76, had 4 corgi’s, and was incredibly nosy. She somehow managed to know everyone’s business before anyone else. I swear the short woman just stood with her eyes glued to her peep hole, watching as everyone lived their lives. She was incredibly kind, but I always dreaded when she would be in the hallway at the same time as us. She would stop us and fill us in on all the building gossip. I would always smile and now as she spoke; but I got the feeling that Joseph kind of liked gossiping with her, his eyes always lighting up at her stories.

“Gotta love her,” I whispered, my fingers tracing the thin chain he was always wearing. As I took a deep breath i smelt something familiar. I furrowed my brows, “are you cooking?”

His eyes went wide, “oh shit, almost forgot.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the kitchen. The scent got stronger the closer we got. I recognized it immediately. He was cooking my favorite, an amazing mushroom stuffed chicken in a white wine sauce. I remembered him watching me take a bite the first time he made it for me. He looked so handsome and so relieved when I told him I loved it.

“Makin’ your favorite,” he said as we reached the kitchen.

I was confused, “Joseph, shouldn’t I be doing this kind of stuff for you? what is all this?” I looked around and noticed the table was set, candles were lit, and there were flowers in a vase on the counter.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind, I leaned my head back so it was resting on his chest. “Just want ya to know how much I love you.” He kissed the top of my head and continued, “you’ve been so supportive and patient with me through all this, I don’t think I could have done it with out you.” His words made my heart swell. I reached my hand back to caress his cheek. “So, this is my thank you,” he whispered.

“I don’t feel like I did anything. it was all you, you did it all on your own.” I turned around in his arms, he was shaking his head. His eyes were filled with so much love. I felt like i could start crying again as I spoke, “I don’t deserve you, Joseph. Thank you for all of this.”

He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, “you deserve the world, Y/N,”

he whispered against my lips. I smiled as I leaned into his kiss. He was the kindest person I had ever met. I had never felt so safe and secure in a relationship. He loved me so much and I knew it, and he knew I was in love with him. He knew me so well. He knew my mind, heart, and body like he knew his own. I also could not help but feel like he was stuck with me given the fact that Mikey was enamored with him.

He pulled away from the kiss making me whine. I tried to pull his face back down to mine, suddenly aching for his kiss. He smirked and grabbed my hands, chuckling at how desperate I was to feel his lips on mine, “there is a catch though,” he hummed.

I raised an eyebrow, “and what might that be?” I asked.

“Well first, you’re going to make me your famous dirty martini that you know I’ve missed so much,” he whispered.

I blushed and looked down. When Joseph and I met in early 2018 I was bartending for some extra money. I will never forget the first time he came in and sat at the bar. He had a long day and just found out he hadn’t gotten a role he really wanted. He ordered a martini from me and went on and on about how it was the best one he ever had. I remember he stayed until the pub closed, talking and laughing with me. I was sad when he left, he hadn’t asked for my number or anything. I remember my heart sinking, knowing I would probably never see him again after an amazing night. Then the next night he came back, that’s when I started to feel myself falling in love with him.

“I can do that,” i whispered, looking down at my hands in his.

“Good,” he exhaled. He laced his fingers in mine, “then we’re going to eat.” He brought my hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of it. Then he grazed his lips over my knuckles, placing soft random kisses across them. “Then,” his voice became deeper as he spoke , “I’m going to make you cum as many times as I possibly can.”

A soft moan left my lips, I immediately felt myself starting to get wet. I bit my lip as I thought about how good he could make me feel. It had been so long since he’s touched me, I missed his calloused fingers, his tongue, and especially his cock. I swallowed hard as i thought about the first time we had sex all those years ago, he made me climax three times before he even slipped into my folds. No one had ever made me cum before, only myself. I was always shocked at the way Joe could make me fall apart with the ease.

“Sound good, love?” he said, his voice back to normal, snapping me back to reality. I never knew how he could say something that made me so weak in the knees and then go back to normal like nothing happened.

I nodded and cleared my throat, “sounds great,” my voice cracking at the end.

He gave me a quick kiss before he dropped my hands, “let me finish this up, all right?” He said gesturing toward the stove.

He walked away and tended to the food. I took a deep breath as I moved towards the refrigerator, grabbing the ingredients for the martini. I heard him humming as he cooked. I looked back at him, it was nice seeing him home again. It felt like he had never left, everything was suddenly back to how it’s supposed to be.

I grabbed the cocktail shaker from on top of the refrigerator, filling it almost to the brim with ice. I opened the cabinet next to the fridge and grabbed two martini glasses and some tooth picks. I opened the bottle of vodka and poured it into the now frosty shaker. I added a very small splash of vermouth to the vodka. That was part of my secret, most people don’t add any vermouth to a dirty martini. Then i added a generous amount of brine from a jar of olives before letting a few fall into the shaker. I remember him saying ‘make it as filthy as possible,’ when he ordered. Not knowing how to make a dirty martini more dirty, i began to shake his with a couple of olives.

I grabbed a glass and popped it on the top of the shaker, snapping it into place with the side of my fist. I brought it up and began to shake it quickly. Once I was happy with the amount it was shaken, i hit the side of it with the heel of my palm to release the cup from the shaker.

“Ya still got it, babe,” I heard Joseph say behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see him looking back at me with a small smile on his lips. I rolled my eyes and smiled back at him. Joe was always impressed with my bartending abilities. I bartended to pay my way through college and had gotten really good at it. I had done it for so long that it felt like second nature to me, I didn’t have to think about my movements while I made a drink.

I grabbed the strainer and popped it on top of the metal shaker and poured the liquid in the glass. I was impressed that I had the exact amount to fill both glasses to the brim. I grabbed to tooth picks and poked them through the olives, two for Joe and one for me.

I carefully grabbed the glasses and walked to Joseph. His face lit up as he saw me handing him his glass. He took it and lifted it towards me, “cheers, love.”

“Cheers, handsome,” i whispered as we clinked glasses. I brought the glass to my lips and sipped the drink. The drink was strong, cold, and delicious.

Joe hummed as he took a gulp, “the fucking best,” he said as he sat his glass down.

I smiled and stepped behind him, wrapping my hands around his waist. I rested my cheek against his back right below his shoulder blades. My hands ran over his stomach through the fabric of his shirt. I slipped my hands under the hem of his shirt, humming when I felt his bare stomach against my fingers. I traced my fingertips up his happy trail, earning a shiver from him.

We sat there in a nice, calming silence as he cooked and i continued to rub my hands on his soft skin. The only sound was him cooking and the soft humming I could feel vibrating through his chest.

“Babe,” he said, making me jump.

“Yes, my love?” I asked, placing a kiss to his back.

“Mind helping me?” He said.

I nodded as i dropped my hands from his belly. I came next to him and he gestured to the parsley on the cutting board next to him. I grabbed a big drink of my martini and picked up the knife. I rolled the parsley and began chopping.

Joseph placed his empty glass down, “another?” I asked.

“Yes please,” he smiled at me.

I finished chopping, threw back my drink, and made another. I felt a slight buzz, realizing how long it had been since I drank anything stronger than a glass of wine.

I sat our glasses in our spots at the table. “Ready?” Joe asked.

I nodded, i walked over to him to help carry the food to the table. He grabbed my shoulders stopping me. “What?” I asked.

He turned me around and walked me back to the table, “i got it, just sit down,” he said. He grabbed the back of my chair and pulled it out for me.

“Such a gentleman,” i said as I sat.

He brought the food over as I placed my napkin in my lap. He portioned some roasted potatoes, vegetables, and chicken onto my plate before adding it to his. He looked down and frowned as he sat, grabbing my ankle. He placed my foot on his lap and unzipped the boots I forgot to take off. He slipped them off and gave a squeeze to my foot before doing the same to the other. “Better?” He asked.

I nodded and said, “thank you,” leaning in and giving him a kiss.

We sat and ate, talking about everything. He told me all about being on set, and i happily listened. I missed hearing him tell me stories, even when he laughed his way through it; his laughter making it nearly impossible to keep up. I could listen to him forever. The way his eyes light up and his face is so expressive.

When we finished I thanked him for cooking and grabbed our plates taking them to the sink. I began rinsing them when I felt him behind me, his hands on either side of the counter trapping me against him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked.

“Babe, you cooked, the least I can do is take care of the dishes,” i said.

He moved my hair from my shoulder, exposing my neck. I shivered when i could feel his breath on my neck. He chuckled and started to place soft open mouth kisses along my skin, pausing to suck a soft mark on the sensitive spot right below my ear.

I moaned and leaned my head, exposing more for him. He softly bit down, making me hiss and drop the plate i was rinsing into the sink. “Shit.” I gasped when his hand travelled down my sides.

“Go to the room, want ya naked,” he whispered against my skin, “I’ll be there in a minute.

________________________________________________________________

Thank you so much for reading! I will hopefully have part two (be prepared for the smuttiest smut you’ve ever read) posted by this time tomorrow. I love you all.

#joseph quinn #joseph quinn smut #joe #joseph #joe quinn #joseph x reader #joseph quinn x reader #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #Eddie #quinn #dickensian #makeup #les mierables

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chemdisaster · 1 year

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a fanfic about post-tcd scar, how he deals with the life series and how he heals

ao3

Scar eventually gets used to the zombies. Sure, at first it's awful, with him having panic attacks every time he so much as thinks of a zombie and murdering them violently every time he comes across them. But by around Season 6 of Hermitcraft, he's mostly fine with them, only occasionally flinching or feeling the familiar seize of panic when he's had a bad day or if he sees them in certain lighting.

The loneliness, though...that stays. The horrible isolation, the constantly being alone with nothing but the sound of groans and gunfire and your own thoughts. It made him go mad to the point of suicide when he was back there and it made him touch starved and petrified of being alone after he escaped. No zombie bite or broken leg can ever compare to the absolute agony of being truly alone, of silence.

He's afraid of being alone so he makes sure to surround himself with people. He's afraid of silence so he turns his first diamonds into jukeboxes and talks to himself whenever there's no one around to fill the air with noise. It takes him months to be comfortable sleeping alone and years before he can base somewhere where there isn't someone else's build within viewing distance. He makes a habit of leaving something small to make noise wherever he sleeps, be it a dripping tap or a ticking clock or the barely noticeable buzz of redstone. It gets easier when he finds Jellie in season 6 but he still feels the tendrils of loneliness begin to squeeze and cut his heart whenever he goes more than a day without seeing anyone.

So when Last Life happens...it's like being back there again. And he tries his best to combat it like he always does in Hermitcraft, but it never works and they always leave him to suffer on his mountain. Alone. In silence. And he cannot handle it. And it makes him go mad just like it did the first time, makes him suicidal which shows as he becomes more and more reckless with his lives, eventually outright threatening to kill himself if they don't give his enchanter, the only thing that will push the loneliness away, back. Because he'd rather die than be alone. But here in this treacherous world, even death isn't enough.

He never quite recovers after Last Life, but meeting his friends again without the haze of bloodlust, hearing them apologise for the way things ended up there...it helps, somewhat. He learns to push away the loneliness lest it consume him during the day and he learns to hide the nightmares and panic attacks and helpless crying at night. It gets easier eventually and he thinks he might be healing.

Then Double Life rolls around and, well. He never thought it was possible to be surrounded by people in the closest way, yet still feel as miserable and alone as he was back there. He never thought being unwanted would hurt as much as never having anyone to want him in the first place. When he and Grian are running to the edge of the world and desperately gripping each other's hands, the only ones wholly untainted by the bloodlust, the only green names, it almost feels like being hunted again, like being the only human in a world inhabited by the undead.

He falls into the zombie pit and screams as they claw at his body and tear it apart bit by bit and thinks oh no why didn't I bring my rifle why didn't I stock up on morphine why is this happening why why why and screams as he wakes up in Pearl's base. He has his worst panic attack in years there and pretends the Divorce Quartet didn't hear him screaming when he emerges and pretends that his body isn't shaking and his face isn't streaked with tears when he reaches his site of death. He doesn't look in the pit until all the zombies have been eradicated and feels a vindictive pleasure when Grian smashes the spawner into a million tiny pieces.

It's almost a relief when he gets blown up not long after. Because if he's feeling the phantom pain of being burnt and torn apart limb from limb in seconds then he can't feel slimy skin and claws, and if his ears are ringing from explosives then they can't hear growls and gurgles and his own screaming. It's less of a relief when he dies again, because he dies alone and in complete silence, a silence that he can still hear when he respawns in his tree, his tree that hasn't been lived in in weeks, that now bears the echoes of grunts and screams in its roots.

Scar loses it after that. He doesn't get out of bed for nearly two weeks, shivering under his blankets as his mind tortures him by replaying every awful moment on repeat. He has nightmares and wakes up and still sees the nightmare on the back of his eyelids every time he closes his eyes. He's alone and the lowest he's ever been and he needs to do something, needs to talk to someone, to hear and see, but he can't get out of bed because he's terrified of what will happen to him outside of it if this is what is happening right now.

Cub comes over within a few days of Scar being back and tries to help, but despite knowing Scar's history, he understands that whatever set him back happened in the death games, and that he can't truly help him if he doesn't know what broke him. So he calls Grian. And Grian, despite dealing with his own guilt over their death and having treated Scar the way he did the entire game, despite thinking that Scar doesn't want to talk to him after he didn't respond to any of Grian's messages, still comes running as soon as Cub tells him that something's wrong with Scar.

He finds Scar curled up in bed and rubs his upper arm and feels the way Scar's entire body stiffens under his touch. He calls Scar's name and Scar presses Grian's hand against his cheek and breaks. And Grian asks what's wrong, but Scar just pulls him down to the bed and wraps his entire body around him and sobs into his ear, "Just speak. Please. Don't leave me alone."

And Grian speaks, about everything and nothing, about his base plans and his own past and how fucking guilty he feels for everything he's done to Scar in every one of these games.

And Scar tells him, in between shaky inhales and broken weeping, what happened to him all those years ago and how he never recovered and how he's most afraid of being left alone and please Grian never leave me alone. And Grian squeezes Scar until he's touching almost every part of his body and whispers into his ear, "I'm never leaving you alone, Scar. Never again."

And Scar remembers how Cub held him the same way when he found out, how he uttered those same words, how he swore on the vex that they were true.

And Scar starts to believe them.

@stiffyck

#gtws #gtwscar #goodtimeswithscar #the crafting dead scar #tw suicide #worddisaster #trafficfic

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semi-sketchy · 2 months

Note

Have you seen the PAW Patrol movies? If you haven't, I think that you'd like them (since you like backstories).

Yes indeed! I have seen both.

I already spoke about them on my DA, here and here, but I'll copy-paste it in this post for convenience. Maybe in the future when I see the films again I'll write more about them, especially seeing as I mostly talked about my OCs in relation to the first movie rather than the movie itself.

---------------

Spoilers for the entire [first] movie ahead! If you have not seen it/wanna go in blind, DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT

The movie was amazing, I've already seen it 3 times. A nice climax and honestly Humdinger being so cringe almost works in the favor of the film. He's essentially a diet Trump, because racism in a kids movie is a no-no. The hat jokes though? Mm, could've done without, they weren't really funny. What was funny was the elevator shaft scene. From Ryder using Humdinger as a ladder, completely disregarding all elevator safety mechanisms to drop the shaft as fast as possible, to the cats when they reached the bottom. Absolutely amazing facial expression.

I'll admit, I've been thinking about how my OCs would've been in the movie for days now, so I'll just stick all that here. Nami would be so good in that environment. She was a street kid and grew up in a small city, so this type of place would be like second nature to her, hence one reason I think her and Liberty would go together like peas and carrots. The two would be an unstoppable amount of sass and thrills, no one could keep up. Their banter would be classic. With the missions, her quick movements but impulsive nature would really help in the rescues. At the end with that giant storm, you bet she would've immediately taken charge. I can see her using her hydraulic arm to move debris and push open doors, and her hook shots to keep from getting blown away or swing around to grab someone. At the end where Humdinger is running, you bet she would be chasing him. Don't doubt corgis, they're fast. She would totally catch up.

Tara would probably do okay in the city, her specialty wouldn't really be catered to, but neither was Zuma's and he was still useful. She might help Marshall put out the fires and use her grappling hook to grab things in the storm. I mostly see her using her large build to their advantage, for instance holding the doors closed in the wind. She'd probably like Liberty alright, but no one can replace Byte as her closest friend.

Byte...would have issues. He's claustrophobic and I imagine sometimes it would get to be a little much for him. He'd be able to stop, take a breath and work through it, but you can bet he would not sleep in one of those hexagonal cubbies like the other pups. He'd take the floor, thank you very much. He'd be worried about Chase though. I already knew the two were good friends, but the movie really cemented it for me. They share a very similar pain; both being left behind and alone. He'd be trying his best to look out for him, I can only imagine Byte hearing his angsty scream and seeing the jump just to go "oh no". Also, the wind? He'd be an absolute puff ball by the end. Boy might need the knots shaved out. With the trauma though, Byte is more in control of his emotions. He's usually the calmer, voice of reason. His heart aches for Chase, knowing exactly how that feels, but ultimately you can't help someone who doesn't want it. If they're not ready to get better or admit there is a problem, you can't do anything.

---------------

Well, I finally saw The Mighty Movie.

Despite my disinterest in Mighty Pups as a whole, this movie was another surprisingly good one. We got Skye's origin story and the powers were handled shockingly well. They reworked a lot of them, so like Zuma can turn INTO water now (I might've squealed seeing him pop up out of the sink) and Rocky can basically become a magnet, which is just so much more useful. (Also they 100% gave the villain Byte's super powers lol)

That's another thing: it balances the use of the pups better than the first movie. Like everyone actually HAS something to do. Will say, the Junior Patrollers were hyped so much in marketing, I thought they'd be super annoying, but they're not actually in the movie that much. Again, a good balance.

Gonna go into some general spoilers now.

Complaint: yeah Ryder is...mm. Kinda a dick. Everyone grieving their headquarters being destroyed, losing all their vehicles and tools, when Ryder just HAD new ones sitting on the Sea Patroller (oh yeah that shows up). "We have to end this program where kids hang out at our place because it's become too dangerous" buddy. Please tell me how them staying with Liberty while y'all run out on missions puts them in danger. Explain. "Oh you can't go on a mission without super powers" bro did you forget what you were doing last week?

He acts like Skye is totally useless after she loses her crystal and like...her tools have been destroyed, but she can still fly her vehicle. So she can't fly on her own anymore, but if it's that huge of a deal, maybe just borrow Liberty's crystal since you don't even know what her power is? Oh yeah they also spend half the movie being like "what's Liberty do" and...I love my girl but that's a mood.

And, this is a general bother, but like cockapoos are not teeny tiny dogs. They act like Skye is smaller than Liberty and...honey dachshunds aren't even a foot tall. The only way she could be the same size as Liberty is if she was a teacup cockapoo. Not a big deal, I suppose, just I always assumed she was a standard, or at least a mini because it's not like the rest of the members are THAT much bigger.

The overall storyline is about how Skye feels like she needs to compensate for her size and the super powers make her feel like the strong one for the first time in her life. Ryder just telling her she can't help get her crystal back because she doesn't have powers completely cements this need to prove herself because Ryder doesn't even believe her capable without powers. (seriously. Ryder why were you mean. Why did you cause the plot of the movie.) Although, I do have to say it was cute how they decided to make Chase the one that offers her some comfort and sees if she's okay.

Plus, Skye got her really big moment to prove herself. It wasn't ever that she doubted her ability, it's that she didn't think anyone else saw it. She's a bit of a daredevil and I think they handled her need to be validated well.

The movie was enjoyable! There were good stakes and while Skye messed up, you can completely understand why she did it (because Ryder was being a total ass). I like what they're doing with expanding the backstories of these pups individually. If they make another movie, I'd be interested to see what deep-seated trauma they give the next pup.

#ask #paw patrol

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independcnt · 10 months

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another sae-byeok winner au thing i wrote, sort of pride month inspired bc there’s some lesbian introspection, but its mostly just Sad and Depressing(tm). word count: 928

“nuna?”

sae-byeok, hands rising from murky water to dry another ceramic plate, hums lightly in response from her place at the kitchen sink.

“who’s ... ji-yeong?” her brother asks, with uncharacteristic hesitation.

it is only by virtue of her quick hands that sae-byeok knocks a glass off the counter and clumsily catches it before it can shatter on the floor. her hands shake, even after she sets it down. “how do you know that name?” she questions, harsh. harsher than she’s ever been with cheol. guilt needles uncomfortably in sae-byeok’s chest as she turns away from the sink to look at him, even if she’d rather not see the hurt in his eyes right now.

“you were talking in your sleep last night,” he says, looking down at his plate, not trying to avoid sae-byeok’s gaze but doing a pretty good job of it anyway. “again.”

it’s pathetic. makes sae-byeok feel sopping wet with humiliation to be caught muttering someone’s name in her sleep, some girl’s name like a lovesick teenager. “she’s—” no one. not anymore. but sae-byeok could never say that out loud, those words too heavy to ever rise up her throat. was half an hour of trading secrets enough to make them friends? it felt like they were ... something more. something sae-byeok doesn’t have a word for. but if there is a word for it, then surely ji-yeong would know.

but because ji-yeong is dead, gone, sae-byeok will have to go through the rest of her life trying to find that word without ever speaking of it.

“you ever kiss anyone? or didn’t they do that up north?” it’s easy to imagine the smirk ji-yeong’s wearing, roguish and teasing, like one of them wasn’t about to have their brains blown out by the end of the hour.

“i never felt that way about the boys my age,” sae-byeok dismisses, quickly, massaging the knuckles of her fingers to give her hands something to do.

she hears ji-yeong snort behind her. “i wasn’t talking about boys,” she says, like it should’ve been obvious.

sae-byeok looks up, confused. even more confused than she was before ji-yeong explained mojitos and tequila sunrises.

ji-yeong’s smile begins to fall before returning, that mischief coming back with a vengeance. as impish as it is, it’s a good smile. a great smile, even. “you’ve never thought about girls that way?”

sae-byeok looks away when she feels the tips of her ears start to burn, face getting hot like they really are sitting under the scorching evening sun. like it was nothing at all, with just a single question, ji-yeong managed to chip away at walls and rubble to reveal this long-ignored truth, one sae-byeok always refused to uncover.

she has thought. fleeting thoughts sae-byeok turned from, avoiding them in favor of focusing on the things that really mattered: her family, and getting them back together. it would be too selfish to entertain those thoughts, the ones that arose when deok-su’s girls came around wearing too little clothing and showing too much skin, or when the young woman ringing up her takeout order smiled at her too brightly, or even when memories from her youth resurfaced, ones of her closest childhood friend teaching her how to cartwheel, holding hands and smoothing hair as they ran inside from recess. there was too much guilt surrounding those thoughts, unable to pay any mind to them when her love life should be the absolute least of her concerns.

could she admit it now, though? speak aloud these things she refused to acknowledge for so long because it feels like this is the only time she ever can? ji-yeong was right, after all. it doesn’t matter what we tell each other. no one can really be embarrassed anymore. if there ever was a time to talk about it, it would be now.

her silence is hard, immovable. like it’s an answer of its own.

ji-yeong gives a low whistle from behind her, shuffling in such a way that sae-byeok imagines her leaning forward, chin on palm and wearing that vaguely amused expression she sometimes wears. “you walk around looking like that and really expect people not to know?” she mumbles under her breath, more to herself than anything.

and sae-byeok ... she wanted to know what ji-yeong meant by that, and why she asked in the first place, but time was running out and there were too many other things to talk about, to find out about the other girl, all while the certainty of death hung overhead, trying and failing to drive a wedge between them. it’s a moment sae-byeok returns to more often than she should, thinking about a dead girl and what she wanted from her, why ji-yeong ended up ... doing what she did.

how had ji-yeong known about—?

the plate clatters loudly onto the drying rack.

had ji-yeong wanted to—?

a glass this time, colliding with another so roughly sae-byeok should probably check for damage.

if she didn’t, then why would she—?

“finish your dinner. we can talk about this later.” her tone is clipped, and not convincing. cheol will remember she said the same thing about this new, fully-furnished apartment. we can talk about this later. said it about the suitcases of money in the closet, and the whereabouts of their mother and father too. and if cheol has noticed the pattern, then he doesn’t make it known, returning to his meal and only casting the occasional worried glance at his sister’s back, desperate for some way to reach her.

#drabble.#this has been in my drafts for probably months so #i finished and polished her..... just a little something fun (sad) for me : ) pls enjoy thnk u

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owl-with-a-pen · 1 year

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Night Terror anon back at it again.

What if her potential point of no return is when she becomes so detached from her former self and the people she used to care about that she shows up in Brainy’s dream, ready to do to him what she’s been doing to so many other people. Maybe she’s so far gone at this point, lost to madness and sleep deprivation, that she barely knows who he is or what she’s about to do.

It’s the absolute last chance to get her back. If she goes through with it here, Nia Nal is dead and gone. But Brainy never stops fighting for her.

Imagine the two ways this could end. Maybe he finally, finally gets through to her using the very dreams she wants to feed on. He’s dreaming of them, before she turned away from him, and she’s able to remember just for a second what it felt like to have her own happiness. She realizes what she’s about to do to the person who made her happier than anything, and vanishes instantly from his dream without harming him. What she’s been doing hits her for the first time. She breaks down with guilt, with grief for her old self and the many people she’s ruined by stealing their dreams for herself. Maybe there’s a way for her return them and fix things? Or maybe the consequences are permanent and she has to live with that. But either way she cries herself out and for the first time in what could be months or years, she passes out and is able to rest. Maybe Brainy finds her, maybe she seeks him out when she wakes up, or maybe she stays away out of shame.

But alternatively, she does take his dream, and she destroys him in the process just like everyone else. There’s a brief flash of pain as she does so, and she realizes when it’s too late that she should not have done this. Brainy as she knew him is gone. Nia as he knew her is gone. She incorporates the happiness he dreamed of into the fantasy she’s built for herself, but it always feels somewhat empty. Neither of them ever recovers. Night Terror continues to wreak havoc until she either retreats permanently into her fantasy, pretending she’s happy, or one of her old friends finally manages to stop her and she spends the rest of her days in a cell designed to dampen her powers, alone but for her broken mind and the occasion tearful visit from people she no longer recognizes. Maybe she finally gets to sleep with her powers gone, maybe she doesn’t. It doesn’t help either way.

God, anon, your MIND!

I'm blown away by these ideas. I love, love, love the concept that Nia only realises what she's doing when she enters Brainy's dream. It's got something of a poetic nature to it considering Brainy has canonically joined Nia in the dream realm before and I like to think that when they do share dreams, it's when Nia uses her powers to link them so she's allowing Brainy into her dreamscape. It creates this dark parallel that Nia has never actually stepped foot into Brainy's dreams before, it's just not how her powers used to work as Dreamer. For Night Terror, though, it is something she can do as it's an invasive act rather than one granted by consent. It's like the ultimate act of betrayal, and yet Brainy still uses that to his advantage to give Nia the dreams of who she used to be, of the goodness in her heart that might still be there. I could totally see that as her wake up call. It wouldn't heal her or give back everything she's lost, but it puts her in a position where she can finally reach out to the people that love her and will unwaveringly support her so that she can take those first steps towards healing.

On the flip-side though, you know I love me some angst and so that idea of mutual destruction, of Nia breaking down Brainy in a way that she would never forgive herself for, removing his essence in a darkly similar fashion to the inhibitors he was given as a child, oh man... I love your idea that even incorporating what she stole from Brainy just makes the hole inside of her more cavernous. When she's eventually caught and put behind bars, it'd be interesting if she still doesn't sleep at first, because it's more psychological than power-based by that point, but eventually she does fall prey to her own dreams again. Maybe they're as nightmarish as the ones she left with all her victims, or maybe they're just... empty. Like her own heart.

#supergirl #nia nal #dreamer #brainia #brainiac 5 #night terror #anon #my asks #seriously though anon these ideas are incredible!!#thank you for fuelling me 😂

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riftwalker-limbro · 1 year

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horribly self indulgent 600 words of pule bullying vince. disgustingly sweet too. enjoy

They'd been invited out for the customary post-recording drinks by the band Octavia. It was something semi-formal with their producer included, too. Pule was just about vibrating out of his skin with excitement, whereas his best friend was more nervous, but happy to support his girlfriend anyway.

That was still so fucking wild to think about - she was his girlfriend. Pule has never seen his friend so disgustingly in love before - it was a neverending source of opportunities for teasing remarks that he was never quite capable of refuting. Every time he'd either turn red as a tomato or get a faraway dreamy look in his eyes. It was absolutely hilarious.

Anyway, they'd arrived a bit early, met up with the others in the lobby of the place, said hello to their producer, and had sat down. After which the producer had started making half-hearted comments towards the band's performance and today's results. Verica had not been taking it well.

She'd been retorting in kind, at least at the start - veiled, one-eyebrow-drawn replies. It had devolved into badly-hidden snorts of disbelief and mockery at the producer's expense, and was looking like it was about to end in a shouting match, if it were up to her.

The producer had said he was going to step out and get some air.

Verica had followed.

Pule had a feeling this would be the first and the last time he'd ever have drinks with this producer.

Tala and Raga were chatting with him as normal, amused at Verica's antics, half-visible through the glass and the darkness of night, but when Pule glanced to his other side for a second, he noticed that his friend's gaze was absolutely glued to the window, eyes big.

Tala noticed him looking - but slightly misread what he was distracted by. "She can be scary, can't she?" Tala said, laughing. "He's been a real dick all night. I hope she drives him off, else our contract has us stuck with him for another three months."

"I'm just glad we're on this side of the glass," Pule laughed. "I'd be terrified going up against her."

"Me too," his friend breathed.

Pule opened his mouth to continue the banter, when Tala elbowed him in the side. Auch.

"Tala, what the-"

Tala made a shushing motion at him. Then, he pointed at his friend. Pule looked back.

Oooh.

"Absolutely terrifying, she is," Pule said, leaning in close to his friend. He nodded, still not looking away. He was leaning towards the window, as if he hoped to catch more. From his other side, Pule could hear Raga start to giggle.

His friend's cheeks coloured a little deeper.

"Bet she could crush his skull under her heels without stumbling," Pule whispered, conspiratorially.

Bingo. He finally had his friend's attention again. His pupils were more blown than the pub's dark interior warranted, face rather more red than it should've been too, and at his last comment, his mouth hung just a little open.

Nope. He wasn't this strong. Pule broke, cackling, falling to the side. After some blinks, his friend had recovered, drawing himself up tall and stiff, still red but now with embarrassment. Tala and Raga were howling next to Pule.

"You are the weirdest guy I've ever met, and that's not even accounting for all the mathematics you leave all over the place," Pule wheezed. "Really? Her being intimidating is a-"

"Hey guys," Verica said, shuffling back into the booth, hair a little wild from the wind outside. The producer wasn't with her anymore. "Fired him. Dickhead. Next round's on me!"

When her boyfriend took just a second too long to move, she noticed his face. "Warm in here, huh? Take off your jacket, honey, you look better without it anyway."

To Verica's clueless smile and his best friend's scarlet face disappearing behind his hands, Pule once again completely lost his shit.

#rift snippet #ough

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chancellorxofxtrash · 2 years

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for the ask meme: zexal for 001, yusaku/ai and lightning/windy for 002 pls? also ur so right that windy has always been a lil gremlin lol

eyyyooo glad we agree! putting it under a read more again

Zexal

Favorite character: Shark

Least Favorite character: I wasn't a fan of those one-off lower-level Barians who followed Heartland? They did give us the cool duels where Yuma, Shark and Kaito teamed up with their respective Arclights, but other than that, they were meh to me. Also, Eliphas.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Shark/Yuma/Vector, Kaito/Mizael, Yuma/Astral, Yuma/Alit/Gilag, Yuma/Durbe/Shark

Character I find most attractive: IV

Character I would marry: .....it would be a disaster, but IV, tbh.

Character I would be best friends with: III

a random thought: the Numbers Club is neat, actually, and Tokunosuke made me cry during the final arc

An unpopular opinion: i am ignoring the Barians becoming human in the end. is that unpopular? if it's popular, then put my opinion about the Numbers Club here. a lot of people hate the Numbers Club but I love them. My Children.

My Canon OTP: uhhhh... Yuma/Astral is more explicitly canon in the manga, so I'm going with that

My Non-canon OTP: Shark/Yuma(/Vector)

Most Badass Character: Yuma. I'm SORRY he is so GOOD it's just so. Badass. Love to see it.

Most Epic Villain: .......Vector

Pairing I am not a fan of: not a big fan of IV/Rio or IV/Shark personally. Dunno why! I definitely see the appeal of both, but it just didn't make my brain go brrrrrr as much as other ships did.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): RIO, RIO, RIO, RIO, RIO, RIO. Also, Durbe being the only Barian who never duelled Yuma is a travesty. But Rio. Definitely Rio.

Favourite Friendship: honestly Yuma-Rio is so fucking underrated

Character I most identify with: Hmmmmm, I don't know. In some sense, III.

Character I wish I could be: Gosh, I wish I could have Yuma's kattobing

Yusaku/Ai

When I started shipping them: I lowkey started to ship them from the beginning but it turned into full-blown shipping during the second Revolver duel (their first Master Duel), when Revolver locked Cyberse away, but Yusaku could still sense Ai, and could talk with him, even if Ai was very, VERY out of it at that point. I fucking love that scene.

My thoughts: I AM ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED ABOUT THEM. I AM FERAL, OKAY? They love each other so much. That scene when Ai is like "lol you actually could have done this any time I just kept it a secret" and Yusaku smiles like "that's more like you"? I CRY. IM BITING MY KNUCKLES. Yusaku saying he'd rather if Ai would hide, and they'd never meet again, as long as Ai is safe? And Yusaku being Ai's anchor to keep him from going off the rails, and Ai knowing it? Ai only becoming humanity's enemy if Yusaku dies? LET ME DIE INSTEAD.

What makes me happy about them: they love each other so, so much. Also that tiny thing that Ai does sometimes when he copies Yusaku's gestures? IT'S THE CUTEST FUCKING THING AND I NEVER GET ENOUGH OF IT (sidenote: Flame also does it with Takeru, and if I recall correctly, so does Aqua with Aoi. Both times I adore it and can never get enough of it)

What makes me sad about them: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THAT FUCKING ENDING. YUSAKU ACCEPTING AI KILLING HIM, AND REALIZING AI OPENS THE DOOR FOR HIM TO WIN, AND THEN HIM HOLDING AI IN HIS ARMS. THAT I LOVED YOU. YUSAKU'S SCREAM. I HATE IT HERE.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Yusaku fell in love with Ai way before Ai got the android body. This is a hill I am willing to die on. Oh and also - if it's a fix-it fic, but only Ai comes back, I am not interested. S3 is very explicit that Ai alone is not a good option - the rest of the Ignis also need to be back.

Things I look for in fanfic: Typically I don't look for android!Ai fics, for the above reason, I prefer if Ai is still a gremlin, with a monster form.

My wishlist: I WANT THEM TO BE FFFFUCKING HAPPY

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: no one. Absolutely no one. These two have to be together. I'm more than happy with slapping more characters on to be poly, but these two I always want to be together.

My happily ever after for them: ALIVE AND WELL WITH ALL THE OTHER IGNIS ALSO BEING BACK

Lightning/Windy

When I started shipping them: Evil power couple sexy

My thoughts: Yeah, not much else. Evil power couple sexy. Post-canon trying to sort it all out, either canon-compliantly dealing with what Lightning had done to Windy, or an AU where Windy joined from his own free will... either is fine by me

What makes me happy about them: I think they are just. Really, really cool, and their dynamic is great

What makes me sad about them: HAHAHAHAH THEY FUCKIN DEAD, JIM

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I really rarely seek out fics that feature Lightning because I'm very picky about how Lightning is being presented.

Things I look for in fanfic: Again, I am picky.

My wishlist: They deserve a second chance at life, at coexistence. I want them to be happy.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Jin for Lightning, and Ryoken for Windy

My happily ever after for them: HAPPY AND ALIVE TOGETHER WITH THE IGNIS

I am very repetitive with my vrains wishlist, but the vrains ending mentally destroyed me and I still haven't recovered

#anonymous #ygo vrains #ygo zexal #thanks again!#inbox is still open

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biaswreckingfics · 2 years

Text

Blurred Lines: Part 1

Pairing: Kim Sunwoo x Female Reader

Genre: Acquaintances to Lovers, Roommate AU, Fuckboy AU

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: fuckboy Sunwoo

Next Chapter

The sound of your friend's laughter finally breaks through to your ears, and you pull yourself up straight, clearing your throat in the process. You attempt to drag your gaze away from the sight in front of you, but you're too intrigued to truly do it or annoyed. Maybe disgusted. You can't be entirely sure.

All you know is that watching girls flock all over Sunwoo and Hyunjae is both hilarious and embarrassing, and you couldn't look away.

"Admiring the view?" Your best friend, Sophia, leans over and asks when she catches you staring at the two boys.

You scoff in response. "As if."

"You know, if you want to hook up with one of them, I'm sure they'd be very open to the idea."

Turning around, you glare at Sophia's boyfriend, Eric, who just gives you a cheeky smile in response. Before you can express your disgust, your mutual friend Kevin comes around the table, undoubtedly drawn to the gossip he's sure you're discussing.

"Who's hooking up?"

"No one," you shut him down before a full-blown rumor can spread and turn to Eric, "and I'd rather choke on my own tongue than hook up with one of them."

"Dramatic," Kevin mutters before sinking down into the seat next to you.

Eric snickers at your response, eyes crinkling in delight, while Sophia gives you a soft smile. You turn back around to your original position and ignore them. The absolute last thing you needed was a rumor to spread through their friend group that you liked one of them. You can already imagine the teasing that would come with that, and it was kicking in your fight or flight response.

Your eyes dance around the university quad, watching other students hustle to their classes or leisurely stroll with friends. You tip your head back and enjoy the light warm breeze that travels through the air. The rest of the boys joke around and hang out at the tables surrounding you as you all kill time in between classes, but you don't pay much attention to them.

The only reason you're even over here is because of Sophia and Kevin. They're the ones that are friends with this group of people, and while you're friendly and greet each other whenever you see one another, they're not people you'd spend a lot of your time with. They're all nice, but they're also loud, chaotic, and the constant string of girls they run through bugs you. The older you get, the more you've grown to like your quiet and your space. Being around so many people drains your energy.

"I'm almost positive my math professor has a deal with Satan," Jacob says in greeting as he plops down next to Kevin, who immediately responds.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the whole faculty got together and made a deal with him."

You turn your head and look at Kevin with curiosity. "Are your classes that bad?"

"He didn't tell you about the assignment he tried to turn in late last week?" Jacob asks you, his angelic features showing his amusement.

"Maybe if he didn't have Beyonce playing in his headphones throughout the entirety of class, he'd know when things are due." Sophia chimes in.

You and Eric laugh as Jacob looks at Kevin with disappointment. Kevin pointedly ignores his stare and looks at Sophia with a scrunched face.

"That's irrelevant."

Shaking your head, your eyes rove over the quad once again, and they eventually end up falling on Sunwoo and Hyunjae. Only this time, they're joined by Juyeon and a new group of girls. You know they’re popular, know about their fuckboy reputations, but to witness it first hand is a different thing entirely.

Obviously, they're attractive - you'd have to be dumb to think otherwise - but it confuses you how these girls know about their reputations and still want to be with them. Then again, one look from Sunwoo, and you aren't entirely sure the girls have a choice. The man is stupidly attractive, even if he does sleep with a new girl every few days.

Personally, you don't like the way he moves. You don't respect that type of lifestyle, but he's always been friendly with you since your best friends are dating, so you learned to ignore it. Even though a part of you strongly wanted to knock his arrogance down a few pegs.

You watch in amusement as the three boys extract themselves from their groupies and make their way over to the rest of the group. The disappointed looks on the girl’s faces causes you to shake your head.

"I bet you can't recall a single one of those girls' names," Eric says when they sit down, causing you to turn in your seat and face the table.

"Somin. One of them was named Somin," Hyunjae says with full confidence that slowly falls from his face the more he thinks about it.

"Now, that's just sad," Kevin makes a face at him, making the rest of you laugh.

Sangyeon wanders over from a table next to you and drops down next to Sunwoo. "Have you found a new apartment yet?"

Just the question causes an exhausted look to fall over the younger one's face, and he shakes his head no.

"Where have you been staying the past week?" Jacob asks with concern.

"Couch surfing mainly." Sunwoo shrugs his shoulders before leaning his head toward Hyunjae. "I've been at his dorm the past couple of days."

"Why are you couch surfing?" Sophia asks. "What happened to your apartment?"

His eyes find hers and flash with frustration. "My roommate and I had a… falling out."

"That's what happens when you sleep with his girlfriend!" Haknyeon yells from the other table, causing Sunwoo to immediately turn and face him.

"I didn't sleep with that girl! How many times do I have to tell you people that?"

"Probably until we actually believe it," Jacob tells him with a smile on his face.

Sunwoo sighs in frustration and shakes his head as he turns back to your table. "Whatever. I just need to find a place to crash that has an actual bed. My back is killing me."

Someone mentions something about karma, but you miss it because Sophia turns to you with a thoughtful expression.

"You should let him stay at your apartment for a while!"

The group falls silent as you stare at your best friend with a dumbfounded expression. Why the hell would she suggest that? Out loud? You guys are acquaintances. You barely know each other, and besides, where is he even gonna sleep? The couch?

"Your roommate is gone, isn't she?" She asks when you don't respond.

Her words click something into place, and it finally dawns on you that you do, in fact, have a spare bedroom for a couple of months. It has completely slipped your mind that your roommate went to another country to study abroad for the second half of the school year, considering she just left a couple of days ago.

"That's a great idea!" Eric jumps in. "We can all hang out there without bugging anyone."

Your eyes search the group around you to find everyone staring at you, waiting for you to respond. You definitely feel like you're being put on the spot, and with so many hopeful faces looking at you, you feel like you can't say no.

"Would that be okay with you?" Sunwoo asks with hesitancy in his voice since he can probably sense your reluctance. They all probably can.

You can't let the guy continue to couch surf, though, when you have a perfectly empty bed that'll go unused for months.

"Sure. My roommate is gone for the rest of the year, so you can have her room." You try to keep the reluctance out of your voice, but your mind is already thinking about having to witness his fuckboy tendencies up close and personal.

A grateful smile breaks out on his face as he thanks you and the rest of the guys excitedly talk about the possibility of throwing parties. You immediately make a mental note to set up ground rules before they manage to do something to get you kicked out. It wouldn't be the first time it happened.

"Sunwoo!" A feminine voice breaks through the excited chatter.

A few of you glance over at the voice, and you nearly roll your eyes into the back of your head when you see who's coming toward you.

Minjee, followed by a group of her friends, is making a beeline for your table, or more accurately, for Sunwoo.

You and Sophia share a glance as the short brunette aims her sights on Sunwoo. You've run into Minjee a few times over the school year, and absolutely none of those experiences were pleasant. You've seen her "accidentally" dump her coffee all over a younger student who unfortunately got in her way, and shove a "nerdy" boy to the floor because he had the guts to talk to her. Of course, according to her, he tripped over his own shoe. She's an entitled bitch that thinks the world owes her, and you couldn't dislike her more than you already do.

Of course, her feelings are mutual towards you. She knows you hang out with Sunwoo's group of friends, and since she's trying so desperately to be his girlfriend, she makes sure to be extremely rude to you every chance she gets. The only reason Sophia gets a pass is because she's already dating Eric.

A thought suddenly hits you, and you have to stifle the groan you make, so you don't draw too much attention to yourself. The bitch you hate is trying desperately to get with your new roommate. Just the thought of her being at your apartment irritates you and makes you immediately regret your decision.

________________

Moving day comes sooner than you expect. Sunwoo wastes no time getting his stuff in order and starts moving things in the next day. When he, Sangyeon, and Juyeon show up at your front door at 10am sharp with boxes, you blink at them in surprise. Sunwoo gives you a cheeky smile, and you wordlessly move over to let them in.

The only saving grace from the surprise move is when Sunwoo runs back out to his vehicle and comes back in with coffee. He immediately heads over to you and hands you a warm cup from the tray after he reads all of the orders.

Surprised, but entirely grateful, you take the cup and mumble out a "thanks".

"I didn't know how you take your coffee, or if you even drink it, so I texted Eric and made him ask Sophia," he admits as he nervously looks at you. "I hope it's right."

You blink at him with wide eyes, completely surprised by his thoughtfulness, before taking a quick glance at the order on the cup. A smile grows on your face when you see the correct order. "It's perfect. Thank you."

"No, thank you for letting me stay here. To be honest, I don't know if I could've spent another night at Hyunjae's without smothering him with his pillow."

Your mouth falls slightly open before a small laugh leaves you. "Well, for both your sakes, I'm glad I could help."

"Hey, Sunwoo! Do you expect us to move you in ourselves, or are you going to help?" Juyeon asks, already on his third trip.

Sunwoo sets the other coffees down on the closest table and runs out to help the two older men. You sit down and silently watch as the three of them lug enough things into your apartment that you wonder how big his other apartment was.

Sangyeon gives you a sorry look as he brings more stuff in, and you begin to worry about how much more he has to go. If they bring any more boxes in, your apartment is going to look like a storage locker.

The moment you see Sunwoo, you spring off the couch and follow him to his new room. He drops the box he's carrying on top of another one and jumps when he turns and sees you in the doorway.

"Just out of curiosity, how much more stuff do you have?"

He pauses and gives you an awkward smile, and your eyes widen.

"I promise it's not as much stuff as it looks like when it's put away!" He tries to placate you, throwing out his hands before you can say anything else. "And I swear I'm looking for a place, so I won't be here too long!"

You nod your head to let him know it's okay. You can live with some boxes here and there for a short while. "Is this everything you own?"

"Pretty much. I was too afraid that if I left anything with my old roommate, he'd break it or sell it."

"Was the falling out that bad?"

The grimace on his face tells you everything you need to know. Your hand comes up to your mouth as you try to hide the laugh that wants to come out.

"Was it warranted?" You nonchalantly ask, remembering the guy's accusations.

"I did not sleep with his girlfriend," he immediately says when he reads your expression.

You put your hands up and offer him a small smile. "I didn't say a word."

After that, the boys finish moving Sunwoo in and quickly leave before he can ask them for anything else, which just causes Sunwoo to roll his eyes.

When he turns back to face you, the two of you awkwardly stand there, each trying to figure out what to say to the other. You guys have never really talked to each other one-on-one. It's always been general statements spoken in a group setting. You barely know Sunwoo as a person. You only know him for his reputation, which sparks an idea in your head.

"For this to go as seamless as possible, I think we need to set up some ground rules."

He hums in agreement. "I'm all ears."

"Okay, so…" you trail off as you try to think of some rules before one of the guy's suggestions reignites in your brain. "No parties without discussing it with the other."

"Sounds fair," Sunwoo nods, "and I'll buy my own groceries, so you don't have to worry about me eating all of your stuff."

You agree to that before a very important rule pops into your head. "No sex in public areas!"

He laughs at your loudly exclaimed statement. You have a feeling he already knows what you think about him and his extra activities from your group hangouts.

"I'm serious! No couch sex. No counter sex. Floor. Anywhere that I might accidentally stumble upon it with my own eyes."

He hums and ticks off each word with his finger. "Couch. Counter. Floors… I feel like I'm learning more and more about you by the minute."

You tongue your cheek as he flashes you a shit-eating grin, and then a small amused laugh unwillingly leaves your body.

This will be interesting.

_____________________

The first week goes by in a flash, and it goes even better than expected. Sunwoo spends his days either at home playing video games and watching movies or out and about doing whatever it is that he does. Surprisingly, and thankfully, he hasn't brought any girls over to your place, so you haven't been subjected to any awkward encounters. You assume by his late-night returns that he's just going over to their places instead, which is completely fine with you.

You spend a lot of time in your room, mostly to give him his own space, but also because it's your little sanctuary. You're unsure of how to talk to him, unsure if the two of you have anything in common at all. Suddenly, it's awkward to be in a one-on-one setting with him, or maybe it always has been, and you've never had a chance to notice before.

There's been a couple of times where he's asked if you want to watch a movie or show with him, but you always decline. You assume he's just asking you to be nice or because he's staying in your apartment and using your TV, so he feels like he has to, but you don't want him to worry about that. You just want him to do his own thing - within reason - which is why you're currently creeping out of your bedroom to the kitchen like a moron. Of course, he's gonna notice you. Your apartment isn't that big.

Your mind is focused on the snacks you're going to grab, but your eyes flash over to Sunwoo on the couch almost involuntarily. They widen once you notice he's watching you, and you give him a small, awkward smile. You think you're safe and can continue to the kitchen until you hear the TV get muted and movement from the couch.

Picking up your pace, you find your snacks and grab them before you attempt to make a beeline for your bedroom. You're forced to make a stop, however, when you turn around and find Sunwoo leaning against the wall to the entrance of the kitchen. You slow your steps and stare at him with wide eyes as his trail down to the snacks in your hands.

"Hungry?"

"Huh?" You dumbly say before remembering the items you're carrying. "Oh! Not really. I just wanted something small to snack on."

He hums. "What are you up to tonight?"

You run your plans of laying on your bed and watching YouTube videos until you eventually fall asleep through your mind, but reply, "Not much. Why?"

"I bought the new Marvel movie, and I was wondering if you wanted to watch it with me…"

Excitement courses through you when he mentions the movie that you've been wanting to see, and Sunwoo laughs when your eyes light up at the thought. You immediately want to say yes, but something holds you back… You've always turned down his offers to hang out, and you'd feel bad if you did it again, but just thinking of the two of you quietly sitting on the couch together made you feel weird.

"It's just a movie. It won't bite you," he taunts, "and neither will I unless you ask me nicely."

He winks at you, and you're stunned for a moment until your face falls flat, causing him to laugh.

"Come on." He turns to the living room, not even bothering to see if you follow. He's confident you will, and damn it, he's right.

Rolling your eyes, you follow him out to your couch and plop down on the opposite end. You place your snacks in between you in a silent way of letting him know he can have some and get comfortable.

"You seem like you're really excited to watch this movie."

Nodding, you say, "Yeah. I had hoped to see it in theaters, but Sophia didn't want to go, and Kevin was too busy nearly failing his classes apparently."

He lets out a soft laugh. "He'll pass them. He always does."

"I wonder how he does it…"

"Bribes the teachers," he says with a completely serious look on his face and a shrug of his shoulders.

He sneaks a peek at you to see if you buy it and laughs when he sees your considering face.

"Anyway, yeah, I've been wanting to see this movie."

"Me too."

He reaches in between to rifle through the snacks, and you take a moment to watch him. A part of you is surprised that he's interested in Marvel movies, but you can't point out why. Maybe it's because they're "nerdy" movies, and Sunwoo is anything but.

"I didn't know you liked superhero movies," you nonchalantly say as you grab a small bag of popcorn and open it.

"I could say the same about you," he responds, finally deciding to have some cookies that are already open. "I guess there's a lot we don't know about each other."

The two of you fall silent after that and let the movie play. Both of you cheer and gasp at the proper moments, making small comments to each other when you can no longer hold something in, and before you know it, the movie is over.

That doesn't mean the conversation ends, though. You both carry on about the movie, discussing the plot and characters animatedly. The parts you loved and hated, and you come to find out that you both really like the same actor.

Sunwoo quickly pulls his phone out and searches up the actor's name to see what else he's been in. He scrolls for a moment before asking if you've ever watched a well-known series that was popular a few years ago.

"No," you reply, already preparing for the exclaims of shock that always come when people mention the series. It's like Star Wars or Game of Thrones, mega-popular, and everyone's seen it, but Sunwoo surprises you instead.

"Neither have I." He turns to you. "Do you want to watch it together?"

"Yes," you answer almost before he can even get the question all the way out.

He stares at you with wide surprised eyes before letting out a laugh, and your cheeks start to feel warm out of embarrassment.

"It just sounds interesting. That's all." You begin to pick up the snacks for a distraction. "Plus, he's a good actor."

Immediately standing up from the couch, you head over to the kitchen to put the bags and containers away before you can go hide in your room for the rest of the night.

As you put them away, you note the lack of noise from the living room and decide to sneak a peek at Sunwoo before going into your bedroom. When you see him quietly watching you, you stop in your tracks.

"What?"

"Maybe I wasn't done with those snacks."

Your eyes widen when you realize you put everything away in the middle of the two of you snacking. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"

Quickly, you start to turn back to the kitchen to grab his snacks again, but his voice stops you.

"I'm just messing with you!" He loudly says as he jumps up from the couch before you can get too far. "I don't need anymore."

"Are you sure? Because I'm right… " You turn back to ask him but trail off when he comes to a stop directly in front of you.

"I'm also right here… so don't worry about it."

It feels like your voice has escaped you when you realize how close the two of you are to each other. You don't think you've ever been closer than five feet, and now you're nearly sharing breath.

"Okay…" You weakly say before moving past him and into the safety of your bedroom.

The second you pass the threshold, you shut the door behind you and stand there. You don't know what the heck just happened, but you're cursing the weird feeling you're getting in your stomach. There's absolutely no way you're letting fuckboy Sunwoo affect you in any capacity.

Although, a thought does strike you… You had a lot of fun today. It only hits you once you're in your room how the smile he managed to put on your face never really left.

Maybe he's not as bad as you thought.

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