MC with a selfish best friend
MC mourning the loss of a long toxic friendship with the help of the brothers.
Characters: demon brothers and fem!MC (written as platonic, but could be read as romantic)
Masterlist
CW: continued discussion about weight gain and weight loss, eating as a coping mechanism, obssesive and manipulative behaviour, emotional blackmail, a glimpse of animal neglect, a tiny nod at suicide, MC trying to hide her feelings, anxiety, TLC from the brothers
A/N: kind of self insert because I'm writing my own experience, so this isn't the most relatable MC. Still, I hope you enjoy it! Remember I'm not a native english speaker, so there might be some grammar mistakes.
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Back then, not that long ago, MC was completely sure she wouldn’t go any further in life. She was stuck in college, in her family and her friend group. There was a dynamic she could work through and, although it could be better, she wasn’t one to complain.
It was a flooded basement with filthy water, but at least it lacked rats.
She just needed some time to start working on herself. Go to therapy, lose some weight maybe? Start cooking again and stop wasting money on fast food. She did use to enjoy spending time in the kitchen and experimenting, after all, but the only things she cooked during her last months in the human realm were mugcakes and pasta. Not necessarily nutritious, but easy to make.
Thank god she had her best friend.
Her companion in the basement, the one with the flashlight.
MC wished she let her hold her hand too.
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“She’s overthinking again. Not good”
“Look who’s talking”
“Hey! It was just a joke!”
“Should we talk to her?”
“Maybe when she comes back, else we’ll give her a heart attack”
“Yeah, Lucifer would kill us”
“Oh, so now we’re doing this for Lucifer?”
“Don’t be selfish, Mammon”
“Who ya calling selfish?”
“Ugh”
MC listened carefully, softly smiling at Beel and Levi’s voices drowning Mammon’s in an almost silent screaming match.
She couldn’t see them from her position, her upper body completely sprawled over the armrest and her line of sight lost in the ashes of the chimney. The fire cracked, threatening to die in front of her, but it was difficult to get up when her body weighted so much. She was tired and hungry and nauseous and even the idea of sitting straight sent bile to her mouth.
Then someone walked into the common room, shushing harshly and getting the other brothers to cease their fighting. Whoever it was, probably Lucifer or Satan, must have thought she was asleep.
So MC closed her eyes, hiding her face in the crook of her arm and basking in the comfortable silence. She could hear them still; the shuffle of cards, a plastic wrapper, buttons and joysticks.
The newcomer got close to her, covering her body with a blanket and sitting at her feet before opening a book. There was enough space in the couch for at least two more people, but MC still curled up, trying to make more room for him. She stopped in her tracks when he grabbed her ankle in a gentle grip, a gesture that brought some warmth where her pants didn’t reach.
Would someone add another log for the fire? Everyone seemed too comfortable to move.
At least the blanket was thick. Pure hellish wool or something, because every animal in the Devildom was just a bigger scarier version of those in the human realm. It was also, however, softer than any type of textile she could’ve ever find back home, so the creature could spit fire for all she cared.
Suddenly, the brother caressing her ankle tightened his grip for a short moment, demanding her attention. When MC opened her eyes, she found Satan smiling at her with no one else in the room. She must’ve fallen asleep after all.
“Dinner is ready”
He let her stretch, unconsciously comparing her to a cat when she arched her back and cracked every possible bone in her body. Satan wondered if that ever hurt, but MC seemed to enjoy it very much whenever she had the occasion to do so, like when they came home from classes after a long day or when they bought groceries for the whole week and Beel.
“Did you not sleep well last night?”
“Not for a while, no”
“Is that so? Something troubling you, MC? Anything I can help with?”
“I don’t know”
She sounded sincere, but Satan didn’t buy it. Only a month had passed since MC came back to the Devildom, looking a bit more tired than when she left at the end of the first year of the program, and she’d acted ecstatic when she learnt she would be living with them again.
He was sure the problem relied in her human phone, something she didn’t have last year and Diavolo had kindly allowed her to keep.
All of his brothers, even the eldest, were greatly impressed when MC showed them how she unlocked the device with her fingerprints, as well as the human versions of Devilgram, Deviltube and Akuzon. That was a fun day, but time passed and soon the phone became an inconvenience. Someone at the other side of the line was taking their beloved human’s time, leaving her exhausted in the aftermath of their conversations and, if Satan vision’s was correct, teary eyed.
That would not continue. Not on his watch.
“We’ll look into it in another moment. Right now, let’s go with the others. Aren’t you hungry?”
“God, yes!”
They both chuckled and he forced his thoughts away. They could wait for the time being.
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Beel didn’t judge her, but she didn’t feel as happy as she thought she would whenever they sneaked in the kitchen at the late hours of the night.
Opening the fridge door with slow movements, trying not to make noise while taking plates or bowls and eating in silence between giggles and short whispers brought a sort of familiarity. And Beel never judged MC. Why would he? He ate even more than her. He’d keep going long after she was finished, full enough to want to puke everything, and MC would feel a wicked satisfaction knowing that no matter how much she ate, there was someone that would eat much more.
Those nights she’d go to bed feeling sick and greasy, too regretful and high on sugar to be tired. Then, by morning, she’d force herself to eat breakfast and go on with her day just to get whatever sense of normality she could reach.
Although, lately, things had been slightly different.
They still got together at night and filled their mouths to the brim, but Beel was adamant about MC going to the gym with him when the morning came, before everyone was out of bed. Of course she’d said no since the beginning, but he kept insisting, saying she didn’t have to exercise if she didn’t want to.
MC still said no.
Then Asmodeus put his input.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do, hon’, but you aren’t getting your 8 hours of sleep and you’re adding calories during the night. That’s horrible for your skin!”
And had it been her mother saying that, MC would’ve lashed out, rejecting opinions she’d been hearing for years over and over and over again, but this was Asmo. The Avatar of Lust. The most beautiful demon in the entire Devildom. MC guessed she wasn’t being fair to her mother, who also loved her and hated seeing her so sick and tired all the time, when it was Asmo she couldn’t ignore.
“I get anxious when I go to bed” she finally confessed.
MC could feel Satan’s eyes on her, but he stayed silent.
“Spend the night with me” intervened Belphie with an honest smile, a muted worry in his eyes “I could make you so tired you wouldn’t want to get out of bed”
“No way!”
Everyone looked at Mammon and several sighs filled the room. The demon, although deeply blushing, kept talking with an overbearing smugness.
“If someone’s gonna sleep with her, it’s gonna be me! Don’t worry MC, the Great Mammon will chase the nightmares away!”
“I think sleeping with you would give her nightmares, actually”
Mammon turned to Levi, ready to swing at his brother, but MC talked before the fight started.
“It’s not nightmares, Mams, I just feel anxious. You know, like, I can’t stop thinking”
“About what?”
She looked at Satan, who was staring at her with a calculating glance, surely remembering what she told him days before when she fell asleep on the couch.
“I don’t know… Everything, I guess”
All of them stayed silent, ignoring what they were previously doing. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, but MC wished someone said anything.
Of course, Mammon spoke first.
“Well, that’s a lot”
“No shit, you moron”
Levi finally got smacked and the rest of them went back to do their own thing, letting MC’s lack of sleep behind. A part of her wanted to keep the conversation going, but she felt too embarrassed when she tried to open her mouth again, especially having Satan looking at her like a hawk.
You don't want me to stare at you? I want to. What's the problem?
She achieved to ignore him in the end.
That night she stayed in her room, pacing, chewing her sweatshirt’s aglet while humming that Phineas and Ferb’s song and turning her headphone’s volume to the maximum with a different music threatening to deteriorate her hearing.
Anything to distract herself and not go to the kitchen.
Finally, hours after bidding the brothers goodnight, MC threw herself on the bed. Her feet were aching, its footprints surely engraved in the carpet, and she forgot to take her headphones off, making the position uncomfortable, but the important thing was that she didn’t have the need to eat anymore.
However, Beel still knocked her door at dawn.
MC stared at him when she opened, bleary-eyed and mouth as dry as cotton, the hem of her pyjama pants so high they looked like pantaloons. He, on the other hand, was completely awake and seemed ready to conquer the day.
“Before you say anything, I’m not going to the gym today”
There was a heavy silence for a couple of seconds.
“Then why did you wake me up? We have classes tomorrow”
Beel stared at her with a worried expression.
“We don’t. It’s Saturday”
“Ah”
She could’ve sleep longer? MC wished she was mad at him, but his puppy stare was hypnotizing.
“I want to go for a walk today. And I want you to come with me”
He lowered his gaze for a moment, biting his cheek while waiting for an answer. MC turned around and looked at the window, still unable to decipher what time it was by looking at the sky.
There were a few things MC missed from the human realm. The sun was one of them.
“We could go to the park, feed some birds and then have breakfast somewhere else. I swear I won’t eat the seeds this time"
She chuckled, rolling her eyes when he smiled back. Then she looked down at the rolled pants and her bare legs.
“Is it cold?”
“I don’t think so, but you can borrow my jacket”
MC sighed and rubbed her eyes, waiting until the white spots disappeared before walking towards her closet. She wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, she knew that.
“Let me change and then we’re going. But you owe me one, Beel!”
His smile was too wide for him to answer.
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Breakfast with Beel ended up lasting three whole hours, which was understandable, and they spent the whole time talking about nothing and almost everything, both of them clearly avoiding the subject of her sleeping habits.
MC really did want to talk about it, but then again, what did she want to talk about exactly? She had trouble falling asleep, yes, and she’d gone back to eating her feelings, but she couldn’t point out the reason. Her nights were filled with paranoia, making her revaluate every piece of interaction she’d had since she got back home from the Devildom months ago. Did she spoke correctly? Did people understand that she was just studying abroad and not begging for attention?
She hoped her best friend dropped those accusations. MC would never stoop so low. Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes.
“Don’t you want anything else?”
MC looked at Beel and the stack of plates surrounding him at the table, mugs and cardboard boxes stained with chocolate, whipped cream and frosting. Her side of the booth was much cleaner, but when she lowered her gaze the only thing she could think of were mugcakes and pasta and the taste of bile in her mouth at the sight of her bloated stomach.
“No, I’m fine”
She knew he loved her. She knew she could talk to him and he would listen and maybe even hold her hand, but the small restaurant was already filled with demons and witches and whatnot and MC knew she’d only be able to sob the moment she’d open her mouth, so she stayed quiet.
Beel nodded, going back to his food with a strange calmness. Maybe he was close to being full?
But no, it wasn’t that.
MC gasped when she felt his foot weakly tapping hers before going under it to support its weight. A small comfort, like the prelude of a long awaited hug.
He didn’t know how much she appreciated it.
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Winter had already reached the Devildom the day MC opened her closet and stared at her clothes. No matter what she chose, everything was at least a size bigger.
She guessed finally going to the gym with Beel did have some payoff.
“Is something wrong, MC?”
Asmo turned the lights of her bathroom off, walking where she was silently standing while staring at the discarded clothes around her.
“You don’t feel like dressing up today? We can stay home and do some self-care if you want”
MC turned around to look at him with gratitude. She knew how much he wanted to go shopping, especially with her. Finals ended just the day before and everyone had been so occupied they’d barely seen each other outside classes and meal times.
“Don’t worry, it’s not that. It’s just that… everything feels wrong. I think I lost weight”
He chuckled at her revelation, hugging her waist and kissing her cheek between giggles.
“You’re taking care of yourself, silly! Whatever are you doing with Beel in the gym, I wonder…?”
She laughed and lightly hit his arm, showing no ill intent, and Asmo smiled in response, not bothering to hide his lewd expression.
“Don’t be nasty!”
“Oh, I’m just joking! But you know what this means, right? We get to renew your whole closet!”
MC turned around again, perfectly knowing that she could either spent her monthly allowance on clothes or start thinking on how she could rock the oversize streetwear style.
She sighed, trying to hide her smile with no success before speaking again. Asmo’s eyes were stuck on her.
“Very well, then” she wasn’t finish talking yet when the demon clapped his hands and jumped in excitement “I’ll trust your criteria”
He gasped and hit her arm in return.
“As you should!”
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“So… how do I look?”
Mammon whistled, clapping and signalling her to turn around in response. Once she did a little twirl, he clapped even harder, not stopping even when she blushed in embarrassment and ran towards him to stop his overly excited appreciation.
“You look mighty fine, MC!”
“Stop!”
“Has anyone ever told you how hot you look?”
“Stop!!”
They were both laughing, her chasing him all around his room with burning cheeks and a gigantic smile.
The shopping bags waited patiently at the door, half of them already empty with a pile of clothes folded on the couch. Mammon had insisted on a private catwalk the moment he learnt she’d gone shopping with Asmo, his offense completely gone barely half an hour after starting the show in his room.
Every time she changed in his opened closet he’d cover his eyes with his hands and every time she came out with a new outfit he’d scream praises like a madman.
MC wasn’t used to this level of compliments and he sure was making it hard to stay calm.
“C’mon, go change again!”
“You’re acting insane right now, Mams”
She was smiling like crazy and her cheeks were hurting, but she didn’t want it to stop. When was the last time someone had been this hyped over her looking pretty? She couldn’t remember.
Then her phone rang.
MC stopped smiling when she saw the name on the screen.
She thought about answering and spoiling a nice evening because of a sour one-sided conversation. Was it worth it? Sure her friend could wait a couple more hours, right? She’d survived without MC the whole year she spent at the Devildom uncommunicated, after all.
“Is it The Unnameable?”
MC stared at her phone for one more second before turning around to look at Mammon, who was kneeling on the couch with his arms crossed over the backrest, eyes peeking with curiosity and another feeling she couldn’t identify.
“The Unname… Robdemor??”
He nodded, blushing and looking away.
“Yeah. You know, like, her name brings bad luck or some shit”
“She doesn’t bring bad luck”
MC didn’t sound as convincing as she wanted to and Mammon’s incredulity proved her point.
“Don’t be stupid, MC”
The pot calling the kettle back, she wanted to say, but no words came to her mouth. She was being stupid, wasn’t she? Everyone at the house already knew what to expect whenever her phone ringed or vibrated and they always did their best to distract her so she could leave the damn thing behind. She suspected Belphie even turned it off at one point.
Staring at her feet, trying to voice her feelings, MC talked again.
“She just… needs me sometimes”
“Sometimes??”
Mammon got up, going around the couch to reach her. He looked flabbergasted, eyes opened wide and a myriad of words stuck in his throat.
The phone stopped ringing, but soon a flood of messages interrupted the silence to call for her attention instead. When she looked back at Mammon, he had frustration in his eyes.
She decided then she couldn’t bear to see him like this, so serious and reasonable. Was it too late to go back to chasing each other, laughing while trying new clothes? She’d been capable of keeping her feelings to herself since she could remember, but Mammon wouldn’t let her do that and she feared the moment the rest of the brothers decided enough was enough too.
God, she needed to talk, but not right now. Talking would make it real and she still wasn’t strong enough for the whole situation to be real.
In a matter of seconds her eyes were watering and she felt as if her throat had thorns stuck in her flesh, but before she could do anything about it there were arms wrapping around her. MC wasted no time hugging Mammon back, trying her hardest not to spoil any tears. The tags in the back of her new shirt poked her skin, making her squirm and get even closer to Mammon’s body.
He was rocking her side to side while petting her hair and there was no doubt he’d deny the whole ordeal happening afterwards, but she let herself enjoy the feeling anyways. It was nice being taken care of.
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It was the first time MC had gone to bed so early since before college. Her eyelids felt heavy and the bed was soft and comfortable, at least three blankets shielding her from the cold outside that froze her window and sunk her room in darkness.
But she couldn’t stop staring at her phone.
She’d turned the vibration off days ago, but that didn’t stop the notifications from showing up on the lock screen and, although she could also take care of that, MC still wanted to be able to read the messages without needing to open the app.
Her best friend talked about everything, good or bad. Mostly bad. How she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her, even when she was the one cheating on him, how much she was eating because there was no one to stop her, how tired she was to even clean her cat’s litter box. She’d say if MC were there everything would be so much better, she wouldn’t feel so lonely.
She didn’t ask about MC once.
“You’re thinking so hard it’s giving me a headache”
MC’s body violently jerked at Belphie’s voice.
He’d entered the room in silence, closing the door and approaching her bed without making any noise. Seeing her freaking out made him snicker, but he was too tired to fully laugh and simply laid down next to her.
“Jesus, Belphie”
“No, just me”
“Ha ha ha”
Her sarcasm didn’t affect him in the slightest. MC watched as he closed his eyes and offered his hand to held hers in a firm grasp, probably not wanting to let her go during the night.
“Turn that damn thing off” he growled against the pillow when a new message showed up.
“I’ve seen you sleep on the ground before; you can’t complain about some light”
“Watch me”
She thought he was just joking, challenging her like a small child would, but Belphie managed to surprise her when he rolled over her body, grabbed the phone and threw it to the other side of the room.
“Belphie!”
He shushed, sealing her lips under his hand before hugging her body with all four limbs, trapping her under the covers.
MC could’ve complained and hit him until he let her go to retrieve the phone, but that would’ve meant pissing him off and staring at the screen for another hour or until her friend decided it was time to show some interest in MC’s life.
…
Whoa.
…
So that’s what it was.
That simple, uh?
MC waited for something to happen at her epiphany. Nausea, panic, heavy breathing. Instead, she felt an overpowering sense of relief. Her heartbeat evened and the frown she didn’t know she had in her forehead disappeared.
No headache, no memories. For once, no nothing.
“You’re not dying, aren’t you?”
Belphie’s head rose, looking at her with suspicion, but her eyes were stuck in the ceiling.
“Why? Would you feel guilty?
He stood over her then, pouting and frowning, and MC had to stop herself from laughing.
“Okay, you know what? I already said I was sorry. You can’t hold that against me for the rest of your life”
“I will as long as I can get something out of it”
“You’re evil”
“Said the demon”
His head fell face first on the pillow with a thud and if she didn’t know him any better, she’d be worried about him suffocating to death during the night.
“Why did you ask that, tho?” MC finally talked.
“Your heart stopped for a second” he shrugged and mumbled, his hold on her hand stronger than before.
“Oh… Well… Don’t worry. I’m okay”
“Are you sure?”
No, not really, but she didn’t want to talk about it in that moment. Maybe another time, when her speech wasn’t slurred due to sleep and she could organize her thoughts with a clear mind.
She hummed as an answer before speaking one last time.
“Goodnight, Belphie”
“Sweet dreams, MC”
He’d make sure of that.
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MC had been quiet for a while. Not out of sadness nor ire, but something much more private. Something that left her pensive and still, staring into nothing with a serious expression. She laughed and talked with the brothers and, from what he heard, she enjoyed going to the gym with Beel, but Lucifer knew there was another factor escaping his reach.
Whatever it was, it changed MC for the better, so he was happy.
Even when the strangest ideas crossed her mind.
“I think I’m going to cut my hair”
He looked at her, clicking his tongue in disapproval when he saw her sitting sideways in one of the chairs with her feet resting in the other. She had a book resting in her lap. How long had she been looking at him and not reading?
“May I ask why?”
“I need a change”
Lucifer stared, taking his glasses off before crossing his arms over the document he was previously reading. MC got up and walked, zigzagging her way towards his desk as if she was drunk, but she looked as hopeful as ever.
“Did something happen?”
She nodded, ignoring his question right after.
“One of these days I’m just gonna… grab a glass of wine, go to the bathroom and bam! Haircut”
He raised an eyebrow, trying to hide a smile at her words. He hadn’t seen her so playful in months and the sudden change felt like a breath of fresh air.
“Do you even like wine, MC?”
“That’s not the point”
“And you shouldn’t use scissors while drunk, especially near your head” he ignored her “If it’s money you’re worried about, I can pay for a good hairdresser”
She laughed and shook her head, partially sitting on the desk. They stayed silent for a few seconds and Lucifer let himself observe her, how she bit her bottom lip deep in thought and how her fingers intertwined with a certain force. She was probably hurting herself at that point.
“I just really need a change”
He could tell there was more she wanted to say, but that seemed to be enough for the moment. The silence afterwards felt full with comfort.
“That’s fine”
MC nodded and sent him a small smile before going back to the chair, this time sitting with her knees stuck to her chest, but before he could put his glasses on to continue his work, she spoke again.
“Here’s what we’re going to do: I cut my hair in the bathroom and then you take me to the hairdresser to style it. Sounds good?”
“Are you going to drink while using the scissors?”
“I’m not a child, Lucifer”
“Might as well”
“Hey!”
“Just joking” he laughed, but MC could tell there was some seriousness behind his smile.
“I drink wine, I cut my hair and you check I don’t stab myself on accident, how about that?”
Lucifer pondered about it, envisioning himself behind her and watching over her reflection in the mirror, a bottle of wine in the countertop and another of Demonus waiting for them in the music room. She’d be the one to clean the aftermath, that bit was obvious, but something told him she wouldn’t really care about that.
The more he thought about it, the less strength he had to fight it. She could’ve asked Asmodeus or Mammon, but she asked him. MC wanted him to be with her during her progress, as stupid as the method was.
“Sounds like a plan to me, MC”
Her smile at his words was worth millions.
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It wasn’t until several hours had passed that MC wondered if Levi invited her to his room with a hidden motive in mind.
The anime came out less than a day ago and she’d never even seen an ad about it, but he’d thoroughly claimed it was made for her.
And she could see why he would say that, honestly.
Sure, no ancient dying star granted her any mystical powers that allowed her to soar the skies or wear an alarmingly short sparkly dress; and she didn’t have an animal sidekick or a romantic interest that only appeared at night for some reason. She didn’t have an arch nemesis either, but she did have the closest thing.
MC was the selfish one, apparently, because how could she? How could MC have the audacity to ignore her best friend’s messages in her desperate times of need? Her boyfriend broke up with her because he discovered the cheating and no one was there to remind her of feeding the cat, neither to monitor her diet nor to fix the consequences of her bad decisions. She was in the lowest point of her life and MC dared to lose weight and spend time with her new friends? Outrageous!
MC unlocked her phone and stared in silence at the new text and voice messages, as well as some missed calls.
You disappoint me, MC.
After all I did for you?
I’ll die and it’ll be your fault.
I’ll die and I’ll make sure you’re the one to discover my body.
You’ll never be able to forget about me then.
You’re disgusting.
MC stared at the screen, not knowing if she should laugh or cry about it. In the end she chuckled and forced down the sting in her throat.
The TV in front of her suddenly turned into a kaleidoscope and she squinted as the heroine jumped from platform to platform, blasting her wand and singing spells. If she understood correctly, the cheery character was fighting her way through the first big boss of the season, her friends close behind her.
She could feel Levi’s eyes on her, no doubt studying her reactions to see if she liked the anime as much as he did.
“Hey, Henry!”
MC turned to look at him and smiled brightly at his rosy cheeks. She expected him to explain some hidden lore or the meaning behind the soundtrack, but he surprised her with his next words.
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t told you yet, but your hair looks so cool!”
“Oh!” she widely opened her eyes in appreciation, showing her teeth in a beaming smile right after “Thanks, Levi!”
“You look… eh… upgraded. Well, no, not upgraded. Erm…” he avoided her gaze for the next few seconds before pausing the anime, letting the room go back to silence. MC kept quiet, trying not to laugh at his awkwardness so he wouldn’t misunderstand the situation.
“You look really pretty, MC. Even better than her”
Levi nodded at the TV and MC stared at the heroine, the pause conveniently showing her winning pose. Big sparkly eyes winking at her and a knowing smile occupying half of her face, as if she was approving Levi’s affirmation.
MC felt the need to cry right then and there, but she held it in.
Her phone lighted up one last time before she grabbed it and turned it off in anger. She had a couple of seconds before the screen permanently went back to black, letting her read the last message.
Who do you think you are? How could you do this to me?
MC seethed. She knew who she was, even if she was still learning. Her hands itched and she forced herself not to throw the phone on the ground with all her strength. She still needed it to talk to other friends and relatives, after all.
After an entire minute filled with tense silence, MC spoke, suddenly meek and shy.
“Hey Lev…”
“MC?”
He was staring her with caring eyes, unsure of what to do or what to say.
Fortunately, for the first time in a long while, MC knew what she needed to do. For herself and no one else.
“Would you help me change my phone number?”
She could write down the numbers of those she cared about the most and send a message asking them not to share hers without her permission.
Take care of her arch nemesis without destroying the entire world. Accept the help of people who showed joy at her improvement. Buy new clothes, change her style, cut her hair.
God, walking without that heavy weight on her shoulders would be difficult and painful, but she’d rather die before letting her ex best friend destroy her will and power one last time.
She laughed with a choke and Levi gasped her name.
She was crying.
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@ourfinalisation
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