#how dare you give me introspection to myself

[bloodied-serpent]

i hope you know you are driving me & my friends up the walls (in the best way) with your comments on our gifsets about emhyr and cahir. you get them, truly.

tell me more pls 👀

Thank you, I'm so happy to torture you with my tags.

I do want to give major credit to both actors, because the physicality in their scenes is *phenomenal* visual storytelling. The delivery of their lines, from their body language to the tone of voice and the microexpressions, has so much nuance that it creates a really compelling dynamic between the two of them. In every interaction between the two of them, there is purpose behind everything, and it elevates the scenes.

In terms of the characters themselves, vengeance is an ouroboros, and I think this shows in how both of them navigate the world.

What fascinates me about Emhyr is how he weaves the illusion of the White Flame- this untouchable leader who is not only certain in his plan, not just guaranteed to succeed, but he acts like he's already won. His posturing is so cleverly constructed to manipulate the person(s) in front of him. We see this in how he interacts with the dwarf bladesmith, sharing drinks but reminding her of the fact they are not, can not, and will not *ever* be the same. The dwarf says as much, blatantly stating he'd kill her if the sword was faulty. And he doesn't shy away from the admission. He leans into it, cultivates that quiet fear that makes people obey. We never see Emhyr without a signifier of his position. He welcomes Cahir back in armour, as the army leader. He wakes Cahir in elaborate dress, as the emperor. Emhyr is always performing, even when he is alone, and that is his tragedy. He only ever dares hesitate when he is alone, but even as he burns the remnants of his old life, he is not allowed to be himself. He is not permitted to be Emhyr. Emhyr is the ashes of a portrait he threw in that brazier. He is the White Flame, because *that* is who will get him what he wants.

And the show emphasises how everything around Emhyr is cyclical. He condemned Fringilla to unending wine, letting her poison herself just as she poisoned his trust. He drinks with his weapon crafter, in moderation and in good spirits. He banished Cahir to the border, where he had to fight tooth and nail for his life, because he sought to cut Emhyr away from his goal. He asks Cahir to kill the only friend he has, knowing Cahir forgets the word "no" around him.

Cahir, on the other hand, is grappling with his sense of self. The only constant in his life is his king, and his king has no mercy for Cahir. Cahir cannot see choice past yearning for Emhyr, because all he has known is loyalty to him. And this hesitation, this doubt, it's apparent. And Emhyr does not hesitate to exploit it. He understands, I feel, on a fundamental level, that Emhyr understands the fact Cahir treads a fine line between his loss of self and finding one that doesn't need a king. Everything Emhyr does, from rousing Emhyr and using the advantage of his still-hazy mind to feed him crumbs enough to satisfy the ache in his heart before he asks the impossible. Something Cahir is more than willing to do, because it's for Emhyr. And this is validated- brilliantly portrayed- by how Emhyr uses language to alienate Cahir from the Others, effectively telling him things like "do it for us" because he KNOWS how desperate Cahir is for there to be an "us"

And I don't necessarily mean a romantic or sexual us here, it's more that Cahir at his core has a need to belong. So what does Emhyr do? "I wanted to welcome you back myself." Entering his room, throwing him his trousers and sitting with him, shoulder to shoulder, looking him in the eye, and telling him what he wants to hear, all the while affirming his standing as the arbiter of life itself. "Fringilla is dead. You are here," he says, meaning "You are here because I have permitted you to be."

Cahir shatters the mirror, whereas Emhyr burns the portrait. One has potential for introspection. The other is a cut link. We see how killing the elf affects Cahir, how he crumbles inward from the act. There is no one to catch him, and he doesn't recognise who he sees in the mirror, but he's not able to let go. And who would? When you have that security, that fragile peace where all you need to do is obey and you'll be rewarded, why step out of line? He tried it, and it almost got him killed. That is what makes this riveting. Cahir is painfully aware of the danger his doubt brings. And he still voices it anyway, sat side by side with the White Flame, he asks "How do you know when someone's a good leader" but he means "How do I know you're what's best for me?" And Emhyr deflects, using Cahir's need against him to placate him.

Emhyr communicates his inner world beautifully - he lays out expectations rather directly, like when he told Cahir "You did as I asked without hesitation." Hesitation is crucial to Emhyr's character, because it is his weak spot. He clutches the portrait of baby Ciri in his arms as he walks away, carrying only his agenda into the future. He buries anything that will not further his obsession, letting it suffocate and rot, instead of killing it outright, because he fears its ghost too much.

Cahir's woe is intelligence, in that he is aware of it all. He's aware of his need, of his desperation, but he's too afraid to break the cycle. The gravitational pull of Emhyr's influence keeps him in this unending loop of doubt and breakdowns and having his faith affirmed, and he's not allowed to change, because if he regains his sense of self, he will no longer be a malleable asset. Cahir can't seem to fix himself up, which shows in how he has looked throughout the season. Hair and clothes unkempt and rough, the most he managed was washing his face. Compare that with the jewellery and velvet Emhyr wore to wake him, and you get two very different worlds that mirror each other. Emhyr is scared to be himself, Cahir is scared of not being who Emhyr wants him to be.

#thank you for giving me a chance to infodump on them #I've hyperfixated so so badly #the witcher #emhyr #cahir

[donutwatches]

MHA 2.6 - The Boy Born with Everything - part 2

This one is longer than usual because this episode is too damn juicy. Strap in folks, this one is an ESSAY.

I was not prepared. The implications of this are so much darker than anything I was expecting for this show. How did Endevour convince the Mom’s relatives for a marriage? Did the Mom’s opinion on getting married matter here? Was she forced? This is a rabbit hole of horror, it only get’s worse the more I think about it.  

I mean, MHA is lighthearted and generally feel-good. The darkest elements so far was the bullying and arguably All Might overworking himself to the point of emaciation/illness. While those are weighty subjects, the story has not dug into them with depth yet. Is it wrong of me to want this show to lean into some of its darker potential?

Daddy issues manifesting. I love that he is rejecting his Dad’s nonsense. He is clearly in a bad mental state and I wonder how that will impact his role in the tournament fights going forward.

Ouch. His own mother said “You so ugly, let me fix that with some BOILING WATER”. It’s like she burned him twice. 

Forgive me, this is clearly horrific, but my coping mechanism is tacky humor. So Dad and Mom are both abusive bags of shit? Todoroki’s left side resembles his Dad. Does his Mom hate her son for reminding her of Endevour?

I get that Todoroki wants to rebel against his Dad by rejecting the fire half of his quirk, but I worry that this is also a form of self-rejection. It is emotional self-harm to cut off part of his own identity. He is rejecting the half that his Mom called “unsightly”. He might have internalized that his mother hurt him/hates him due to any resemblance he has to his Dad. I love a juicy backstory.

I also love good art direction. The lighting on Todoroki has him split with half of his face in shadow and half in light. This is using lighting to communicate that Todoroki is torn between two paths, one dark, and one with hope. I do not know what the story is going to go with him, but the animators are showing us with the visuals that, while he is in shadow now, there is still light, and potential hope for him. 

This visual storytelling is also shown below with Bakugo in total shadow. Bakugo has been on a dark path from episode 1. Bullying, misdirected anger, pride, and selfish motivations have put him in a dark space.

However! He is shook by what he just eavesdropped on. His expression is, dare I suggest, introspective. This gives me hope for Bakugo’s character too. This loud mouth kid quietly listened to Todo’s story, and is now, maybe, self-reflecting. Am I deluding myself? It would be a long road for our resident rage monster to change his ways. I am an optimist, ok?

If Todoroki leans into the shadow, he will be regressing into what Bakugo represents in the story, someone who is held back by narrow-sighted motivations and anger that will only stunt his growth.

Honestly, Midoriya is in an awkward situation. I would have no idea how to respond to that level of trauma dump. To be fair to Todoroki, there is something so trust-worthy about Deku’s face. I also would have told him my worst trauma in 10 flat seconds, but that has got to be overwhelming for Deku to process.

The symbolic lighting triad is completed with Deku being in total light. Not a speck of shadow on this lil’ sprout. He needs that sunshine to grow! 

We know that being half way in the light equals hope for Todoroki, because Deku is in that light. We know that Midoriya represents hope for true heroism. That is his role as protagonist in MHA. If Todoroki is able to step into the light completely, he would become closer to Deku in his values, and therefore closer to true heroism. 

What are those values? Well, after struggling to find the words, our Baby Chia lands on ‘I have hope for myself because of the hope placed in me by people who support me.’ I love that as a corner-stone for heroism, and it is SO opposite to what I am used to seeing in U.S. based stories. 

This part fell flat for me. It kind of threw me off. Midoriya, your classmate just told you he is being abused, this is not about winning a silly school competition.

I am used to hearing Naruto level talk-no-jutsu, so this sub-par response from our protagonist initially disappointed me. BUT, I recognize that this is a teen who just had radioactive trauma dropped on his lap. How would he know what to say? Deku has no experience with this form of ‘villain-ness’ (abuse), because it is outside of his childish comic book conception of evil. 

Ok, now my over-thinking, absolute reaching is over, thank god, let’s get back to goober jokes next time.

Part 3 is here.

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki #todoroki shoto #bakugo #katsuki bakugo #deku #izuku midoriya #Midoriya #anime #abuse #abuse mention

[nightswithkookmin]

IT ALL PAID OFF.

The tensions we talked of in BTS in 2020, On ERA. Between Taekook, Yoonmin, Namkook, Jikook....it all paid off when Namjoon said ON era was gonna be their final era as a group.

I made myself a target of ridicule, hate, lost friends, lost allies, was dehumanized, persecuted, had people making up all sorts of narratives about me rather than my opinions, had people sneak into people's DMs with a hate brush asking people not to give me credit for my opinions, to unfollow me, to hate me all for daring to point out to them 2019 to On era wasnt a good period for the boys.

How foolish do you feel now hearing Namjoon point to that same era now?? Yall ate me up and made me into an anti for saying Jungkook seemed done with the group and was heading in a direction Jimin wasn't headed in??

For daring to say he was tired of sacrificing his happiness and relationship for the OT7 agenda Jimin clung on to and was a good soldier for??

Yall looked for the slightest grin they shared to counter argue, grins posted by a company with an agenda, a company now clearly they seem to be at odds with.

Just how foolish are you all now clowns??

Kookiemonster and her dumb circus?

Heard she changed her name but still I name her. She's the most toxic simp pandering to antis with her faux logic.

I challenge her to a duel

zoom that arrow straight into her chest

Complaining i present my opinion as fact when all my opinions have turned out to be facts.

I pray for an opportunity to meet all these people one day and whoop them till they be needing stitches.

The first hate comment I received was from a blonde Karen who reblogged my post to a bunch of bigoted clowns for addressing Jungkook's Jealousy- you make him sound so toxic, what you are describing is a toxic relationship, you make him sound so childish

I don't make him sound childish he is childish sometimes and simplistic in thoughts.

Glad that all those who felt the tensions in BTS in these past few years and month can stop attributing JMs mood to problems with Jungkook too.

I've said and maintain my position on this- not everything JM does is about his relationship. This is clearly one such moment. His look and mood in that vlive says it all. He would come to the US and return to Korea not so much as enthusiastic, barely post on sns, I mean we all felt he was going through something.

I also told you guys, I felt Jungkook seems happy lately because he seems to have gotten what he wanted in the group- especially during the JM shy around Kook era.

Not sure if I said that here or on my Ko-fi but yea. He'd stop fighting and resisting and rebelling. Felt like the calm before the storm.

"

Why'd you spend your time leading the chorus When the war was just waiting before us? As if you didn't know You ignored all the darkest of warnings Found our end in the silence of morning It fell beneath the cold

I'll take the desert, you take the coast But to each his own I'll take the desert""

I asked which therapists they've been seeing to work through their relationship struggles- turns out they really have been seeing and working with a therapist if not anything to help them transition and be become independent of eachother as they set into solo careers.

The most attached to the group would suffer the most. I'm glad we can all agree it's not Jungkook. Too many PJMs gave me grieve for pointing out JMs OT7 agenda conflicted with Jungkook's desire for independence of the group. I was told I was crazy and slurred at because to others Jungkook is the one super attached to the group.

When I said he was asserting himself off the group yall throw virtual stones at me.

Its all good.

Got heat for saying I was expecting and anticipating a shift in dreams and hopes of the boys post covid because Covid will force them to do a lot of introspection into their lives and careers and question if the trajectory they are on.

Then people came at me with the whole they have another contract with hybe nothing's changed you are dramatic and a charlatan- a charlatan really??

it's exhausting and at a point I was so exhausted. The only thing that kept me going was my love for Jikook. Because I love them I loved talking about them.

Didn't post everything i wrote. Didn't post every video analysis I made, didn't share everything but still I showed up for them.

It all paid off.

Chapter one is over. On to chapter Two.

But can't live in a world where there's no BTS.

GOLDY

[legendoftheotherside]

Legend’s Fairy Tail fics Master list

1. A Sham

Wherein Gray, tired of Juvia's advances, gets Natsu to agree to be his fake boyfriend. As with every ridiculous idea, things don't really go as planned.

Gray x Natsu; rating - T; multi; 17k

I love this story so much because it was the first time I experimented with my writing and finally found the voice that fits me. 

2. Fruitful exhibition

Gray is a closeted exhibitionist and gains a voyeur while training in the forest.

Gray x Natsu; rating - E; oneshot; 4,6k 

my first gratsu ‘porn without plot’ fic, I was really proud when I wrote it lol

3. Emergence 

A Fusion AU written for day 1: prompt create of Gratsu weekend 2022

rating - T; oneshot; 1,6k

Can be read as both gratsu and brotp fic, there’s not much shipping though.

4. On a Dare

“Wyverns are like little brothers to dragons.” “Oh, shut your trap or I’ll shut it for you. Permanently.” “What are you going to do?” Gray asked, barked a short laugh, then shifted to look Natsu directly in his eyes. “Kiss me or something.” Natsu did kiss him. Gray should’ve known better than to challenge him.

Written for day 2: prompt challenge of Gratsu weekend 2022

Gray x Natsu; rating - T; oneshot for now, plan to add one more chapter; 1,8k

5. Warmth

Wherein Gray and Natsu have a tradition of helping each other relax.

Written for day 4: prompt tradition of Gratsu weekend 2022

Gray x Natsu; rating - E; oneshot; 2,1k

6. Of Immanence (and how to find the way beyond)

The foray into the Alvarez Empire leaves Natsu and Gray transfigured and mentally scarred: one exhibiting a horn, a wing, and scales; the other grappling with a murderous voice sweet-talking him into killing his best friend.

Written for Fairy Tail Reverse Bang 2022

Gray x Natsu (mostly brotp); rating - M; oneshot; 6k; relevant tags: angst, hurt/comfort

This is one of my favourites, so go ahead and read if you haven’t already.

7. Of Acceptance (and learning to trust completely)

*continuation oneshot of Of Immanence Natsu and Gray take their relationship to the next level. All it takes is a bit of trust, sinful whispers, and sharp teeth.

Gray x Natsu; rating - E; oneshot; 4.6k; relevant tags: porn with feelings, blood, biting

I had so much fun writing this one since from starting Of Immanence I already wanted to tell this part of the story as well.

8. Accidental Boyfriend Acquisition

In which Natsu and Gray discover that they can be friends, rivals, and lovers at the same time.

Under the guise of their usual challenge, they collide like supernovas, with all the sparks and explosions in tow. No one told them it would be so hot.

Gray x Natsu; rating - M; multi with one chap published; 2k; relevant tags: friends to lovers, first kiss, sexual tension, coming in pants

Not my best work I must admit but it was fun to write.

9. Inevitable

Wherein Natsu and Gray have some fun. Natsu learns how to give a proper blowjob, doesn't get to finish giving one, and realizes that Gray talks a big game but delivers much more.

Gray x Natsu; rating - E; oneshot; 2.5k; relevant tags: rivals with benefits, oral sex, mutual masturbation

I think I outdid myself with this one, classy dirty porn with some humor and feelings sprinkled in. 

10. From inside out

It is said that the first scale to be shed by a dragon holds an immense amount of luck. Even though the Dragon Slayer powers aren't kind to Natsu, Gray is always there to help.

Gray x Natsu; rating - G; oneshot; 1.8k; relevant tags: angst, hurt/comfort

This one is really popular with readers — so much that it pleasantly surprised me. Written for Gratsu Week 2023 Day 1: First / Day 4: Angst

11. Out, in the light

This is their secret and it will last as much as it can. ... He’s starting to think his purpose is to be by Natsu’s side. ... Gray is weak, but Natsu is there to be strong for him. ... Yes, it’s time to burn down the shackles that bind him. One secret at a time.

Gray x Natsu; rating - G; oneshot; 1.2k; relevant tags: slight angst, secret relationship, introspection

I attempted something slightly different with this one. I never really wrote introspection POV. Written for Gratsu Week 2023 Day 3: Secret / Day 4: Angst / Day 7: Journey

12. Wilde Jagd

In which Natsu doesn’t know he’s pining after Gray, Magnolia is a melting pot of different cultures, and some traditions are more revealing than others.

Gray x Natsu; rating - T; multi- one chapter for now; 4.3k; relevant tags: developing relationship, friends to lovers, mild hurt/comfort, humour

My newest fic, written as a gift in the secret santa event with winter holidays as main theme. Somewhat filled with world building because I wanted to make Magnolia a melting pot of cultures and well. It took off lmao.

*I hope I don’t have to say, click on each title if you want to read

As you can see I mostly write gratsu content lol 

anyways, I’ll add more as I publish. 

#gratsu #fairy tail #Gray x Natsu #Natsu x Gray #fic masterlist #fairy tail fic #gray fullbuster #natsu dragneel #AO3 fic #fic masterpost #legend writes

[moviesessionwithmyhubby]

The onion

Have you ever peeled away the layers of an onion? What is the sensation like? Does it have a sweet flavor? No, the release of specific compounds triggers irritation of the nerves surrounding the eyes, ultimately leading to the shedding of tears. In my introspective moments, I often liken myself to an onion - a stubborn one with a multitude of layers to peel back.

My decisions tend to be impulsive when I’m emotional, not of importance that would significantly alter the course of my life, but rather the kind that are somewhat bold and reckless. As I thought about various choices, I decided to dye my hair a vibrant shade of pink, embellish my belly with a piercing, trim my hair into stylish bangs, resign from my position at a company, or even considered adopting another kitten - though my husband thankfully intervened. The reason behind my inclination towards impulsive and unconventional choices had always eluded me. My friends often regard me as a person of boldness and courage, a quality that my husband also acknowledged upon initially observing my behavior. I, too, shared the same thought. I once believed myself to be a daring young woman, unafraid to make bold choices and venture beyond the confines of my comfort zone - something that many of those around me seemed unable to do. I felt a sense of pride in myself and in this particular trait, as if I were a unique individual among my peers. I have friends who embody diverse lifestyles. One of them is a dynamic young woman who possesses a clear sense of direction in life, and is driven by her ambitious career goals and financial aspirations. Another friend of mine is fortunate enough to have a wealthy father who can afford to finance her education abroad. And another friend who is similar to royalty in her family, and is so pampered that she has never had to learn how to ride a scooter. As I gazed upon my reflection, I found myself lacking any noticeable traits that set me apart. So I chose to embrace this audacity unintentionally as my defining feature. Over time, as I engaged in conversations with my husband, he gradually peeled back the layers of the onion. "Have you ever thought about the reason behind your impulsive choices during moments of heightened emotion?" he asked. And in that moment, a sudden realization dawned upon me - the reason behind it all remained a mystery. I had always considered it to be one of my characteristics and had never before thought about the reasons behind my tendency for such behavior.

But as I settled into a reflective state, I started reflecting upon the choices I had made thus far. It dawned on me that my tendency to make unconventional and daring decisions was often a means of avoiding the true issue at hand. As I reflect on a past experience, I recall dyeing my hair a vibrant shade of pink when I was struggling with a sense of professional uncertainty in my former workplace. The trajectory of my career there was unclear, and I found myself at a loss for how to proceed. And rather than confront this challenge head-on, I made the impulsive decision to shift my attention towards my hair. Or in another time, during a particularly stressful period at work, I sought comfort in the form of a belly piercing. The physical discomfort of the piercing served as a welcome distraction from the mental stress of my job, allowing me to momentarily escape the pressures of the workplace. Or one day, as I dealt with a spin of emotions and an uncertain outlook on the future, a stray kitten crossed my path. My office took the small creature under our wing, providing it with shelter and care until we were able to find a suitable home for it. The adorable kitten was giving a soft, endearing "meow" each time it caught sight of me. I asked my husband, "Baby, can I adopt this adorable kitten?" Do you see the random nature of my decision-making process? But the important thing is that I have never in all honesty been satisfied or gratified as a result of these actions; rather, I have just been distracted from the actual problems. Perhaps the image of a bold and courageous young woman is merely a facade that I have constructed to conceal my inner cowardice. I do not consider myself devoid of courage, nor do I pretend it entirely. To some extent, I maintain a valiant disposition and possess a firm "go-for-it" mentality. However, in moments of heightened emotions, my decision-making process tends to be impulsive. I make these decisions with great speed. But I must admit that I have become somewhat attached to the persona of a bold and daring individual, often using it as a crutch to avoid confronting challenges in my life. The memory of the film American Beauty, which I viewed alongside my husband, comes to mind. The film portrays the miserable characters who reside within their own personas, constructing a facade to present to the world while concealing their genuine inner selves. As I observed Angela, a youthful young lady who displayed an air of seduction, I couldn't help but notice a striking resemblance between us. The way she behaved and looked seemed to embody the classic sex symbol. She covers herself with plenty of cosmetics, enjoys the admiration of men, and endeavors to accentuate her physical allure, primarily due to her aspiration of becoming a model. So, if you don't look at Angela too closely, you'd believe she was overconfident and perhaps arrogant to the point of being insufferable. At the conclusion of the film, though, we witness a completely different side of her. After spending the whole film acting to be this experienced girl, she finally admits to Lester that she is a virgin. After that, it's as if a curtain is lifted, revealing the actual Angela, who is fragile and very insecure.  So, beneath my brave girl veil, there's a scared young girl who doesn't know how to deal with her own difficulties. However, my husband is willing to be there to guide me through. Do you remember my earlier mention of my husband's gradual unraveling of the onion's layers? You know, the act of peeling an onion is far from pleasant, as it inevitably leads to tears. My husband and I have faced various challenges while peeling off the layers of my onion. Gazing inward to confront my authentic self is a difficult task, one that proves equally challenging for him, given my resilient nature similar to that of a sturdy onion. I remember that night when I was explaining all of this to my husband, he asked me why I didn’t simply confront the issue and work on finding a solution. I was taken aback, and all I could say was that I had no idea how to do it. Perhaps at my core, I have long been used to avoiding challenges throughout my existence. It was the sole method I had to confront the issue at hand - shifting my attention and fleeing. Until the moment I encountered my beloved husband and embarked upon our romantic journey. The experience of being in a relationship with my husband has brought to light a multitude of realizations. It makes me realize I have flaw, and I have come to the realization that certain behaviors I had previously deemed acceptable, or commonplace may in fact be negative to both myself, and those around me. He encourages me to confront my imperfections and errors, for he believes that it takes courage to acknowledge one's faults and tackle the ensuing challenges. So this is what I did, I engaged in self-reflection. I meticulously peeled back the layers of my being, much like one would peel back the layers of an onion, and wrote about my journey in this post. Upon reading my written words, my husband said that he perceived me to be a courageous girl, possessing an innate bravery that allowed me to openly acknowledge my innermost demons. He held onto the hope that when the world delved into the pages of my book, they would approach their critiques with a gentle touch, recognizing that imperfection is an inherent trait of humanity. 

[allkinds-oftrash]

The Crown S5E4 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Gist: I have been WAITING for this episode! It wasn’t as dramatic as I expected but I still enjoyed it! There was an unexpected plot with Margot I really enjoyed and it was a great introspective episode for Lizzie. I LOVED the self-awareness all of them had in this episode. 

Spoilers Under Cut: 

Oooh interesting choice starting at the end of the year and her getting ready to give the speech Lmaoo "She's not getting the sympathy she wants" I'M CACKLING

Aights let's go 1992 please deliver the drama

Oooh we're starting with Margaret also I forget how religious some of them are then they talk abt their faith Margot you keep smoking like that you're going to be dead in 10 years 🤡🤡 (Bad joke Ik I'll see myself out)

OHMYGOD IS THAT OLD TOWNSEND?? IT IS I'M SCREAMING! I loved them so much in S1

Ahahah Lizzie "I'm not sure it was love" She's funny when she wants to be "Why what's it to you" LMAO these sisters I swear

Ohmygod is that Andrew?? Ew it is WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE NO STOP IT PETER MORGAN He does look like irl Andrew and Tom Byrne (young Andrew) props to the casting dept once again

He's so cavalier about Sarah's affairs I can't??? This is kinda funny ngl SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANNA KNOW AND THEN HE PROCCEEDED TO TELL HER DJLDJSK I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING Also don't you dare sneer at Sarah in Saint Topaz Andrew we all know you were probably at Epstein's Island He's okay with sexual harassment/assault and pedophila but putting someone's foot in his mouth is where he draws the line???

GOOD BE HUMILIATED you prick The D word LMAO Andrew you're a grown ass man, say Divorce Lizzie you damn well know those aren't the words Ahhahahah the way he said "Divorce, Mummy" he sounded like Adele I'm screaming

I take it back, THIS IS THE WORST PERSON I know who made a great point. Gotta applaud him for being self aware about destroying anyone who is different in this family

Lmaooo Margot's start to that letter, hilarious Oh there he is - Townsend. I'm too happy to see him back to complain too much abt how he doesn't really look like his predecessor

Awww Anne and Tim she's so in love with him. Honestly one of their redeeming qualities is their love for one another.

Margot is having the time of her life; good for her! Omg my hearttt I forgot the chokehold Margot and Townsend had on me zhksnsks

LMAO “FERGIE'S STOLEN” headline I'm cracking up Hsjshsj Lizzie is having a ball isn't she. Two children want divorces another one wants to get remarried when the Church forbids it 🤡🤡

Yessss Anne DROP THOSE ENGAGMENT NUMBERS,,, W&K could never 💀💀 I love how derisive she is. She really is a badass, pity that she's most likely a racist

Awww Margot and Townsend's Greatest Hits scenes 😭😭😭 I AM SOFT WELP THAT GOT ANGSTY It was nice to see the young versions again I missed Vanessa Kirby

HAHAHA DI'S BOOK IN CHARLES' FACE as she should be Prince Harming ahahhah Boy I can call you worse things Ew God's law is marriage for life 🤡🤡 God wants yall want to be happy, he told me himself  FREEE DIANA Damn Charles go off shskjs

Lmaooo this ep is Favourite's older sister dbdkkd it's all coming around Yes you were a neglectful mother Lizzie you gave them all several parental issues shskks

Who is this man?? Porchey?? Oh lmao no he's a priest

Okay this is the one thing I won't laugh at. I didn't know this year included a castle fire. No one deserved to have their house burnt down no matter how decadent it is.

Holy shit this looks the Baudelaires Mansion after their fire. This is so sad but also amazing set design Holy shit my heart hurts

Not Margo and Townsend taking stock of the paintings xhdkjejd God they're so cuteeeee ny hearttt

Not Margot accusing Di of burning down building LMAO SHE'S LISTING THEM ALL Fair enough Margot nskdksk

NOT HER SAYING HERSELF D a m n the regret and bitterness of having lost Townsend is STRONG Yesss Leslie what a speech!! Holy shit not the parallels between Anne/Tim and Margot/Townsend God I wanna hug Margo Ohmygod she said ittt she called Lizzie the fuck out

Annus Horriblis INDEED

Tbh I really wasn't expecting the Margot of it all but I am living for it (I wanted to see Anne/Mark and Andrew/Sarah's marriages break down further on screen and them announcing the divorces)

"I don't want to pull out" That's what (s)he said 🤡🤡 Not Queen Mother lecturing her on the speech like ma'am your daughter is 66 years old let her do what she wants Not her sneering at Lizzie being depressed God I hate this bitch

Phillip being THE Wife Guy this season is something I did not expect Like he has been since S3 but like it's dialled up even more this season which makes the upcoming affair with Penny even more sad

She said it!! Annus Horriblis! I will say I appreciate this speech from her it humanised her in the eye of the public after years of never saying anything

Girlies named their dogs after alcoholic drinks lmaoo love this for them

Living for the self awareness of being blamed for everything and for most things, it is true Lizzie

The way they said I love you and was like This is too middle class let's never do it again I'm screaming

#The Crown #The Crown Season 5 #The Crown Spoilers

[trulyinspiringmovies]

Smile

“Smile” is a surprisingly thoughtful horror movie with excellent sound design.

Rose Cotter is an altruistic doctor at a psychiatric ward. One day, Rose meets with a new patient who claims to be seeing an entity that wants to harm her. No one else can see this entity and it’s always smiling. Then, this patient grabs a broken vase shard and commits suicide in a gruesome manner. After witnessing the horrifying sight, Rose starts seeing this entity too. She realizes it’s only a matter of time before she goes the same way.

I think everyone was expecting this movie to be similar to Blumhouse’s “Truth Or Dare” and therefore not that great. The trailer definitely led me to believe that this would just be another generic horror movie that Hollywood squeezes out about a mildly scary concept being stretched out to feature length. I was even considering skipping this one entirely. Then I heard the early reviews for this film. It was reported that this movie was a lot better than people initially were willing to give credit for. This definitely piqued my interest, so I decided to check it out for myself. Luckily, there was a showtime for Dolby Cinema, so I opted for that and, man let me tell you, it was the right choice. But before I get to why that is, I want to talk about the movie in general. All good horror movies are ones that are trying to say something. “Smile” is definitely a message movie about trauma and the effects it can have on the people around you. It’s a really interesting topic to explore, especially in the horror genre. You normally only get stories about how trauma affects the central characters, but never the second-hand effects. I appreciated the atmosphere this movie was painstakingly creating because it definitely sucked me in. The world was drab, but not in a way that becomes exhausting to look at. Maybe this was helped by the multitude of interesting shots this movie goes for. I know this is the first movie from Parker Finn, but it’s very clear to me that he’s an inspired director. He’s obviously a fan of introspective horror and has applied that to his own movie. There are a lot of top-down aerial shots that instantly reminded me of “Candyman”. There’s even an upside-down shot of the city skyline that reminded me of the new 2021 “Candyman”. The highlight of the movie was definitely the sound design. It was a treat to listen to in Dolby Cinema because the score just felt unsettling in a brand new way to me. I will say, seeing this in Dolby Cinema was a double-edged sword. Yes, the movie is a treat to listen to, but there was so many cheap jump scares that I jumped because I thought a sonic weapon was going off in my theater. I feel like if this movie had focused on creating an unrelenting tense atmosphere with tiny moments of levity, then this would’ve been an easy five-star from me. Also, the ending was edited in a slightly confusing way for me. It felt like the entity gets Rose, but then it cuts to a point in time when the entity doesn’t have her. It’s like there was this whole escape sequence that was cut from the movie. I’m sure it was intentional and I’ll find an explanation about it from a YouTube video or something, but I felt like the movie should’ve been comprehensive enough for that to be clear to me. All in all, this is a great movie to start the spooky season and I’m pumped for more horror movies.

★★★★

Watched on October 3rd, 2022

#Smile #September #2022 #Horror #Psychological #R #Parker Finn #October 2022 #4 stars

[aaronafgash]

10 NEW SONGS - 4/14/24

It’s become clear that when you’re not completely ignoring your whole ass job, writing a whole ass article becomes much more difficult - who knew! Still aiming to get these out every week, just might not be a Friday / same day situation. Alas.

1. Hold Up - Sasha Keable

Sasha Keable has quietly dropped some gems in the past 4 to 5 years (I was shocked to discover that she’s the featured artist on Disclosure’s “Voices”, a song I've adored for years), but this single might be her best release to date. She confidently sings here over jazzy, electronic keyboard chords, giving us some modern … dare I say … Amy Winehouse vibes? At the very least, she sounds more like Amy than whatever the fuck is happening with this Back to Black movie.

2. Illusion - Dua Lipa

This sounds like early Dua, and I mean that in the best way possible. She’s been getting a weird amount of hate in the pop world - I think it’s hard to follow an album as incredible as Future Nostalgia, but none of these songs are bad at all. Leave her be!

3. The Kill - Maggie Rogers

A clear highlight from a really strong album in Don’t Forget Me, I fuckin’ love this. Her harmonies here are top notch, and the upbeat country / folk vibe she has going works so well with her voice and songwriting. This song is so good that I actually looked up tickets to her Milwaukee show in the middle of typing out this blurb.

4. Espresso - Sabrina Carpenter

Just a fun little girly-bop bop with bonus track vibes - I think she put this out for Coachella promo? Regardless, happy to add this to the library. 

5. Nasty - Tinashe

Tinashe has quietly released some bangers since she blew up back in the day with 2 On - add this one to the list. I would go feral if I heard this drunk in a bar. I will go feral when I pay way too much to hear it at a bar via TouchTunes.

6. Player Two - Jordan Ward

Jordan Ward doesn’t miss and this is catchy as hell. Looks like it’s going to be featured in a movie I’ve never heard of based on the title - interesting. It kind of sounds like a cross between disco, yacht rock, and R&B.

7. Ash Roth! - Asher Roth

I was a MASSIVE Asher Roth fan back in the day, so I was thrilled to see that he dropped a new album this weekend. This was a clear highlight for me, as Asher introspectively reflects on himself and his career over a laid back beat, reminiscent of his Pabst & Jazz era. Dude can really rap and I’ve always said that. I’m also realizing now that he’s released multiple albums since 2020 that I never listened to, so that’s a rabbit hole I will absolutely be going down in the near future. At one point, a video existed on the internet of Asher Roth singing "Just Friends" by Musiq Soulchild live on stage, and while I can no longer locate this video, seeing that told me everything I needed to know about Asher Roth. I'll bet you had no idea I had this much to say about Asher Roth. I can't even explain it, I surprise myself too.

8. TWUG (That’s What U Get) - Jean Deaux

A great R&B beat and a solid vocal performance from Jean Deaux. I always find myself wanting more from her projects when I listen through, but she’s released great individual songs over the years. 

9. magic - strongboi

Knew literally nothing about them before writing this but have since discovered that strongboi = Alice Phoebe Lou + a producer / collaborator? Alice Phoebe Lou fucking rocks, as does this song! Slayyy, niche indie queen. This sounds like a breezy summer day and I'm loving every second of it.

10. How? - Dhruv

Another artist I know very little about, but my god, Dhruv has a beautiful voice. I could listen to this man sing all day.

#Spotify

[ericleo108]

08/05/2022 Click here for Spotify or Apple Music. This is my 17th official release. “Hit Me With The Download” is a performance track that I wrote in 2014 when I was out in Los Angeles California. The track is a good introduction to my music and shows skill. This is the last release from my “108 The Album” CD that you can buy in my shop. I would really appreciate the support if you would buy a copy and download the track. 

The beat is from PremiumBeat.com. The track was professionally recorded, mixed, and mastered by Sam Peters at La Luna Recordings in Kalamazoo Michigan. You can stream or download the track wherever music is sold. Thank you for your support. Be sure to follow because new music is released every first and third Friday of every month.

Lyrics

It ain't hard to tell I lay it bear, rare  They jealous sayin act real  I dare you to excel here  Got you trapped and needin welfare  I'm think'n bout sitt'n back rappin bout the year  On a pier bein real tell’n my love just how I feel Got rifts with facts, I make up what they lack  I'd kill myself if I was like everyone else

Think’n bout the future with their music without substance  I just want the love, a fan base, and I'm buzzin That's right I get it done quick I do it when they doesn't  I make the song cry like I’s chopin onions We gotta get some lunch in, we can talk function  Everything they said I couldn't do I've gone done it Let it breath

Break it break it down era fresh up on the mic  Wanna party gotta light cuz I'd be happy to oblige Rare and wanna get it started for a real ill artist  Now you can say you thought of it, welcome to the audience Coast to coast and then around the globe Cuz you gotta know eh hit me with the download Coast to coast and then around the globe Cuz you gotta know eh hit me with the download

If you don't like this shh you don't like nothin Physical equivalent of runnin Get back twist a wrap light up and stay blunted Hey you wanna knew somethin If I told you the truth, you’d probably get confused  Get mad, break the rules and then hate me for it too Cuz ya'll don't give a what  about the problems with our young  Watch tv til your dumb  Makin propoganda puns Movies blowin up with guns Til your limbic system numb  Get'n crazy, do'n drugs claim'n your in it for the fun But that's alright I’m just to real let's be trite aight no one cares Reality tv is really the most radically  Expression that emphatically illustrates the gravity  That this situation repetitive in nature  A self reflected introspected white face savior Painted rearranged so you can't even see it plain  Your mind is programmed and your nerves engrained

Think’n bout the future with their music without substance  I just want the love, a fan base, and I'm buzzin That's right I get it done quick I do it when they doesn't  I make the song cry like I’s chopin onions We gotta get some lunch in, we can talk function  Everything they said I couldn't do I've gone done it Let it breath

Break it break it down era fresh up on the mic  Wanna party gotta light cuz I'd be happy to oblige Rare and wanna get it started for a real ill artist  Now you can say you thought of it, welcome to the audience Coast to coast and then around the globe Cuz you gotta know eh hit me with the download

#hip hop #rap #rapper #michigan #usa #california

[mrskurono]

me: “yea.. l-like who would really like that loud mouth? amiright? haha..” *rips my 12 variety pack of bakugou stickers in half”

i don’t see the appeal in dabi tbfh. atp, i think most of the people liking him only do it bc everybody else is bc what? is so great about him? i mean his voice is hot but like?????

OH OH OHOHOHOHH LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT FATGUM PLSSS. you’re gonna make me simp for this man all over again. that man could get it and give it 😩 he is so delicious! both forms omfg. i literally don’t trust the people that only like his smaller form.

sighs three, ur gonna b the death of me. i can’t believe u think selkie is better than gang orca. i am gen appalled. 😟😟😟

KALE YOU'RE A BAKUGOU SIMP?! I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT THAT'S SO FUNNY??? DON'T LET MY WIFE NEAR YOUR STICKER COLLECTION SHE'S BEEN A BAKUGOU LOVER SINCE EPISODE ONE

The Todorokis are overrated I'm sorry but. Rei is just as shitty as Endeavor. Whatever the sisters name is, she's an enabler. Dabi and Natsuo need fucking counseling. The only one I tolerate is Shoto bc he's so God damn stupid it's a wonder than man remembers to breath.

WHEN HE SHOWED OFF HIS FAT LOSS AFTER THE BATTLE AND EVERYONE WAS SUDDENLY A FATGUM SIMP. LIKE NOT UH- NOT IN MY HOUSE. WE ARE WORSHIPPING THAT 7+ FOOT TALL MAN'S DICK AND WE ARE HOLDING ONTO HIS GUT WHILE HE RAW DOGS US. SKINNYGUM CAN EAT FOOD OFF MY TITS BUT FATGUM IS WHERE ITS AT

#gotta get that seal dick sorry babes 😏

#asdfghjkl #the fact youre a bakugou simp #KALE I CAN NEVER LOOK AT YOUR BLOG THE SAME #to be fair rae would fuck bakugou in a heart beat #maybe Bakugou and i are too similar #thats where the problems really arise #i dont hate Bakugou at all but ill be damn i scream louder and i will be his alpha #explains why deku's crying sets me off though if i kinda kin bakugou.... #kale don't make me self refect on my own blog #how dare you give me introspection to myself #kale.♡ #three.talks

[inber]

Need or Want

A/N: I wanted to write some more headcanon of Yen’s experience at Kaer Morhen, a couple of weeks after the fight in episode eight. I suppose this drabble could follow along with the other two I’ve already written. Spoilers for season two, no real warnings. Some Yennskier feels. I allowed Geralt to be in this one, but he's still on thin ice. 1.8k.

It's a true pleasure to be able to use her magic again. Yennefer had restrained herself from using it frivolously for a week—partly out of reverence, and partly out of fear. What if she drew too deeply from the well of herself? What if the bucket came up empty again?

The small things return to her more out of instinct than purpose; the way she refills her inkwell with an absent flick of her finger, or the conjuring of a new pair of socks because Cirilla's are close to having holes worn in them. Maybe it's the shy smile of thanks she receives. The wriggle of Ciri's warm toes. Whatever the cause, Yennefer's caution ebbs. She allows herself indulgences once more.

She patches the crack in the wall of her chosen room. No longer will she suffer a lumpy straw-stuffed mattress; it is replaced with decadent downy feathers and luxuriously knitted linens. Her fingers run over the furs on the end of her bed. Jaskier had brought them to her some days ago, concerned for her health. Absently, Yennefer smiles, and leaves them where they are.

More candles for her writing desk. More parchment. A small mirror by her wash-basin, which she also wove into existence. The witchers could do as they pleased, but she would maintain a regimen of hygiene. As would Cirilla.

It would be easier to push down the reasons why her nesting feels so lavish. Yennefer knows it all comes at a cost. Not just one she's paid herself; were that the case, there might be no need for introspection.

Carefully, she sculpts a crystal vase onto the desk with her clever fingers, running veins of gold through the intricate material. Along the rim on the glass, she inscribes in Elder: 'Ire lokke, ire tedd. Squass'me.'

“Another place, another time. Forgive me.” Yennefer whispers the words. From the mouth of the vase, peonies bloom, eternal and fragrant. She thinks of the young, feisty boy in the sewers. Of the Elven man that had accompanied him.

Triss used to say that speaking the names of the dead meant that they would live forever.

“Dermain. Ba'lian.” Yennefer touches one of the petals. It shimmers ever-so slightly.

“Who are you talking to?” Geralt's voice is unmistakable on the other side of her closed door. In her concentration, she'd not heard his arrival. Then again, he was likely to employ a softer footfall around her. She felt as if he was waiting to catch her stirring a bubbling cauldron conveniently labelled 'Ciri Soup'.

“Myself.” Yennefer says, rising to open the latch. Geralt won't let himself in. She knows this. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Geralt glances over her shoulder at the changes made to her room. For a moment, she thinks he's going to make a comment about what he must perceive as irresponsible hedonism. She dares him to with her steady violet gaze. Instead, he exhales sharply through his nose.

“Training with Ciri--”

“--At six o'clock, in the alchemy lab, after supper.”

Geralt frowns. “Don't read my mind.”

“How presumptuous,” Yennefer says, “I hardly need to. Have I been late to a lesson yet?”

“No.”

“Ciri came and got me last night, actually. A half-hour early. It was quite sweet.”

Yennefer knows she's prodding at a sore wound, but she cannot help it. How can he not see that she'd give the entire world as she knows it to that girl, if she asked? How is he still so blind?

Geralt grunts at the admission, but doesn't take the bait. Undoubtedly he'd seen them enter the lab together the night before, watching from the shadows. The weight of his gaze is impossible to escape.

“Are you taking supper alone?” Geralt asks, instead.

“Has Lambert learned to chew with his mouth closed?”

He almost smiles; it's a feather-brush on his lips, and then it is gone. “No.”

“Then no, thank you. I will take care of myself.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Geralt moves to leave. He pauses awkwardly in the doorway, clearly working something through his mind. Yennefer waits. Despite his assumptions, she'd not enter his consciousness without good cause.

“All of... this.” He gestures to Yennefer's fine bed, the wash-basin, the candles. “Could you... could you see to Ciri's room, too? I don't want her to be uncomfortable here.”

Yennefer's expression softens minutely. “Yes. Of course.”

“Good.” Geralt nods, and then turns again.

“Geralt?” Yennefer calls after him. He stops mid-step. “For her. I will make her comfortable, for her. Not for you. Understand that.”

There is a beat of silence before he nods. She doesn't watch his retreat. The door clicks closed.

Yennefer lets out a long breath as she presses her back against the wood. Their interactions are sporadic, but each one is uniquely painful. Her skin still tingles alive in his presence; her cheeks still flare hotly. But it's just a lie. It's the djinn, and nothing more.

Unwilling to think further on that subject, she casts her mind to the other occupants of the crumbling keep. Honestly, she couldn't give a fat fucking fig about Coën and Lambert. They seem content to curl up in their own filth.

Vesemir she holds less animosity towards, simply because both of them are still weighing one another up. Yennefer recognises a powerful mind; Vesemir is old, but he is far from stupid or useless. If he asked her, she'd tend to his ease.

And then there's Jaskier.

Crossing the room, she sits delicately down on the new mattress, and picks one of the furs up again. The bard seems to alternate between purposefully bothering her, and paradoxically allowing her close enough to witness his vulnerabilities. Yennefer thinks back to the way he offered up his own room so she'd not be cold; the way he dropped an entire jar of Dwarven spirit on the alchemy floor; to the wine and cups he'd bring to her room most nights. So she wouldn't be alone. So they wouldn't be alone.

Yennefer sighs to herself. Then she begins to draw energy from the frozen ground deep beneath her. Chaos guides her work.

------------------

“Enter if you dare!” Jaskier calls out when Yennefer knocks on his door. “For I am armed, Coën, and not afraid—ah, hello, witch.”

Amused, Yennefer looks at the old broomstick he is wielding. Unfortunately, she knows she cannot mock him for this. “Expecting company, bard?”

“Not as such.” Jaskier lowers his weapon. “I'm just prepared.”

Yennefer lets out a short laugh. “I've met stray dogs that are more prepared than you.”

“Now, that's unfair. A dog has agility and strength, and sharp teeth. I simply have my wits.”

“Truly a tragedy, and rather remarkable that you're still alive.” Yennefer agrees.

“Nevermind that,” Jaskier huffs, “What brings you here? It's not wine o'clock yet.”

“I thought it was always wine o'clock.”

“I'm trying to set a good example. We do have royalty to nurture, you know. Can't be two bottles deep every day.” Jaskier says.

“Right. Just every other day.”

“Exactly.”

Yennefer grins. She can't help it; he's ridiculous, and he plays into it expertly. Jaskier tilts his head at her and smirks in a way that always confuses her. She can't read him like this; he's all sincere eyes, so expressive. It's disarming.

“I brought you a few things.” Yennefer blurts, disliking the sudden tension. It's the right thing to say. Jaskier instantly perks up.

“Ooh, gifts?” He asks, before pausing. “Wait, this had better not be some kind of magely courting. I have a reputation to uphold, and I'm not so easily bought--”

“Jaskier,” Yennefer interrupts, “if I wanted to fuck you, it would have happened already, and in a spectacular fashion. Don't give yourself so much credit.”

“Er—right.” Jaskier's voice cracks; as Yennefer turns to the doorway to pick up her things, she pretends she missed the beetroot blush that sears his cheeks. “I mean, sure, you can go ahead and tell yourself that, if it helps you sleep... um, what are these?”

Yennefer lays two wrapped objects on the bed, both boxed and unidentifiable. “Things I thought you might need.”

Jaskier eyes them for mere moments before his curiosity wins out. He undoes the first with deft fingers, releasing the latch on the box. His sharp intake of breath gives Yennefer a bone-deep feeling of satisfaction.

“Oh, Yen...” Jaskier purrs, pulling the new clothes out of the small trunk. “These are so lovely. What a shade of blue. And the embroidery!”

“Yes, well.” Yennefer says. “You were starting to stink.”

“Untrue, unfair, but utterly forgiven.” Jaskier rebuts, still admiring the doublet, trousers, and accessories. “Ooh, is this vest fur-lined?”

“Hush up,” Yennefer instructs, “and open the other.”

Jaskier carefully places the clothing down, doing as he is bid. The second box swings open on silent hinges. Jaskier instantly tenses up where he stands.

“It's not Filavandrel's lute,” Yennefer says, cautiously, “but I thought you might like something to tide you over until you are able to buy one you like. I don't know much about lutes. I kept it rather simple, in case I got the spell wrong.”

He's said nothing, and she's rambling. It unsettles her. Perhaps this is too soon; she knows how much he loved that old instrument, and her replacement isn't nearly as grand.

“You needn't use it if you don't want.” Yennefer continues, her voice growing harsher without her permission. “Forget it. I'll take it back--”

The air is knocked clear from her lungs when Jaskier pivots on his feet and pulls her against him, wrapping his arms around her in a fierce hug. He has to bend down to bury his face in the crook of her neck. Yennefer feels the damp flick of his eyelashes against her skin. It's all she can do to cling to his jacket in return.

“Thank you.” Jaskier mumbles hoarsely. He's trembling against her. “Thank you, Yen.”

He seems to come back to himself, loosening his grip. She breathes. They are so very close; she can see the brimming tears in his eyes, feel the warm whorl of his breath. His heart flutters double-time in his chest. Yennefer envisions herself moving half-an-inch forward, and him doing the same, meeting her halfway; lips and teeth and tongue--

Quickly, she takes a step back. Jaskier looks bewildered; his arms drop and dangle at his sides again. She's gracious enough not to mention his emotion. Distantly, she realises her own eyes are hot, as if she might well-up at any moment, too. It's nothing, Yennefer thinks. A natural reaction.

“Well.” Her voice is thicker than she'd like. “You know where to find me, for wine o'clock.”

Jaskier nods. He's looking down, stroking the neck of the lute. “I do.”

“Good.” Yennefer backs up towards the door. “I'll see you later, bard.”

“Not if I see you first.” Jaskier whispers, smiling.

Yennefer does not run back to her room. She simply walks quickly. And she certainly doesn't grin.

#the witcher fandom #the witcher spoilers #yennefer of vengerberg #geralt #jaskier #yennskier #fortune writes

[sillyrabbit81]

Tropesville - Chapter Eleven

Summary: Mika deals with the fallout from Matt’s decision.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x Mikaela (OFC)

Word Count: approx. 2.4k

Warnings: angst, introspection, Olivia being a turbo bitch, one of my fav tropes of all time

Authors Note: I got a prompt from @omgkatinka and I started it as a one-shot and thought, nah, I could do heaps with this and it just kept expanding. Anyway, I hope you all like it.

Thanks to @amberangel112 for their help on this, Beta reading and helping me get my wild ideas in order.

I know this is not the way a lot of you expected this chapter to go, but hopefully by the end of the chapter you will see why I made this choice and hopefully you enjoy it!

Masterlist

Chapter Ten Chapter Twelve

Chapter Eleven

Mikaela POV

I froze half standing half sitting. Please don’t be talking to me, I begged silently. I slowly stood my eyes drawn to Olivia. It appeared as though she was shaking, her trembling coming from deep within, like a volcano just before an eruption and she was looking directly at me. Shit.

“Did you hear me, you fucking bitch?” Olivia started making her way to me. Her bridesmaids tried to hold her back, but she threw them off. The shoulder of her beautiful silk gown fell over her arm, making her look dishevelled as she shook, her carefully pinned curls started coming loose. She shook her bouquet, delicate petals and leaves falling from the carefully selected bunch. “You fucking did this on purpose! You set me up.”

“No, I wouldn’t do that,” I protested. I kept making my way to the side exit, the one Matt had fled from earlier. I just needed to get away. “I had nothing to do with this, Olivia.”

Olivia kept coming towards me, her advance impinged by her mother. She tried to hold her back, frantically telling her to stop, saying something to her about her dignity. That almost made me laugh, there was nothing dignified in Olivia, her beauty and grace was always a façade for the hateful, vengeful person she was underneath. She turned on her mother and screamed, “Let me fucking go!”

I cowered at Olivia’s rage, and I missed my chance to escape before she stalked over to me. I felt sweat break out on my forehead, the room suddenly felt too warm, humid, the rain and earlier storm must have made it so. I felt sick, I wanted to puke. I kept moving to towards the door, aware of all the eyes on me. I needed to get away.

“Don’t you dare leave! You don’t get to leave!” Olivia raged. “How dare you think you can come here and steal this day from me? You’ve made this all about you like you always did when we were kids.” I blinked shocked. Did she even care that Matt left her? Was that even a thought in her head? Was her concern only about losing face in front of all these people?

I felt something big against my back, and it took me a moment to realise it was Sy. “Keep walking,” he whispered in my ear. “Don’t listen to her.” His hand gripped my arms and he shepherded me towards the doorway.

“I know you did this on purpose, I know you did!” Olivia ranted. “You talked to Matt didn’t you Mikaela?”

I ducked my head and looked away, Noah still pushing me to walk out, God that exit looked so close but was so far away. I can only imagine what this looks like to people who don’t know the situation. Everyone must be hating me right now. “No, it wasn’t like that,” I tried to defend myself.

“You said something about me, didn’t you?” Olivia accused. “What did you tell him huh? Did you lie to him about me?” Olivia was wild, her anger uncontrolled, she flung her arms in the air as she yelled, her feet stamping like a child. “Why would anyone want you? You’re a frigid bitch who wants men all to herself then doesn’t give it up, right?”

“Olivia, that’s enough,” Noah’s voice boomed behind me.

“Oh! Here comes the hero, Captain Noah Syverson, to the rescue! She’s got you fooled too, doesn’t she? Come on Noah, tell the group,” Olivia threw her arms wide indicating to the rest of the guests. I could stop myself from looking and seeing the shock on all their faces. “She hasn’t fucked you yet, has she?” I felt Noah stiffen behind me, his steps faltered, and his fingers dug painfully into my shoulders. “And she won’t. She’s a fucking tease. A god damn tease who thinks she’s better than me because she’s a virgin.”

I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t, not with all these people. I tried to shake Noah off me, but he wouldn’t let me go. Tears welled in my eyes, I tried to stop them from coming, I didn’t want her seeing that she got to me. Olivia didn’t deserve to see me cry.

“Noah has nothing to do with this Olivia,” I said, trying to keep my voice strong, but I could hear it wavering. “And neither do I. You need to talk to Matt.”

“She’s right, Olivia,” Sy said behind me. “Just leave her be and go talk to Matt. It’s between you two.”

“Bullshit! She’s using you Noah,” Olivia continued. “Using you to get to Matt. I’d call her a slut but nope, not miss ‘I’m fucking better than you’ over here. If you think you’re going to get your dick wet you’re wrong.” Olivia paused, her eyes bore into me, her lip curled in a savage smirk because she knew the truth now. It wasn’t a guess like before, it wasn’t just a way to use my past pain against me. No, she knew because she heard me tell the truth to Tracey and now, she was going to tell everyone. “You know she’s still a virgin, right? Go on Noah, ask her. Ask her if she’s ever had sex.” I wanted to be sick, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. It could drag me all the way to hell if it wanted to, it was better than living through this. “She’s still a virgin because she’s still in love with Matt.”

Wait, what? Is that what she thinks? Of course she thinks that. But now I’m fucked. Now, when I tell Noah I’m a virgin, he’s never going to believe that I’m not in love with Matt. He’s going to remember this and that’s what he is going to believe.

“I’m not,” I said weakly. I don’t know if anyone heard me. Tears came then and I couldn’t stop them. I should have slept with Noah when I had the chance, last night or this morning I could have been with him. I was ready, I wanted it. It wasn’t a decision to take lightly, not after all this time, but he was the one for me, I felt it deep in my gut. Then he would have known that I loved him and not Matt. But now, who knows what he will think.

“You better watch your mouth, Olivia,” Sy said. He let go of one of my arms to point at her and I took the opportunity to make my escape.

Bolting towards the side doors, I sprinted outside. I didn’t know where I was going, I just started running. Even though there was cover outside, the rain was so heavy it was coming in sideways and my shoes and stockings were already getting wet. I kept going, running along the covered walkway, hoping it would take me somewhere where I could hide.

It led me back to the entrance to the hotel lobby and I made my way there, stopping only when I was inside. I rested against the armrest of a sofa to catch my breath and think. God, I wanted to disappear. I wanted to go home. I wanted to scream and cry and huddle up into a ball. Not here though, there were too many people here, some must be guests of the wedding by how they were dressed and the way they were looking at me. They must have made their way out the back doors. I needed to get out, get away, right now. I started to make my way to the elevators to go up to our room and… Shit. Our room. Noah.

Where was Noah? I looked around to see if I could see him. He hadn’t followed me out which meant he must still be in there with Olivia. I shook my head, my eyes stung as more and more tears flowed and a sob left me. No, no, no. No, I can’t face Noah right now. What is he going to think of me? This can’t be happening. Why would she do that? Tell him I’m a virgin and that I’m still in love with Matt. Why does she think I would give up someone like Noah for Matt? Matt who hurt me so badly. I knew the answer to that though. It’s because that’s what she would do.

Looking around desperately, I saw the doors that lead out to the gardens, the place where the wedding was supposed to be held. I ran outside, there had to be somewhere dry I could stay and think, be by myself a while and work out how I was going to deal with this mess.

Running into the rain, I was soaked in a matter of seconds. My hair started falling out and sticking to my face. I didn’t care, there was no one out here and that was good. I made my way through the gardens, trying to find somewhere to stop to hide. I saw a gazebo, perfect. I attempted to get there but the gates were locked.

Frustrated, I let out a short scream. Great, now I was trapped in the garden with nowhere to hide. I pulled my shawl up to protect myself from as much rain as possible. I kept thinking through everything that had happened, trying to figure out how to salvage this. But I had no idea where to start. Maybe I should have told Noah straight away, that first night when he touched me under my shirt.

I shivered now as the cold started to set in and my joints and bones started to hurt. I can’t stay here all night but I couldn’t go back there, could I? What does Noah think of me now? Does he believe her? Does he think that I’m still in love with Matt? I mean he thought that a few days ago so maybe he does. Thinks it again anyway. And why not? He doesn’t know me that well. I mean yeah, we were friendly, but we never talked relationships. I had no idea he and Liza were on the rocks, he never shared anything like that with me.

I walked, up and down the garden path, hidden from the hotel by a large row of bushes. I couldn’t stop crying. The embarrassment, frustration, and loss I felt rolled down my cheeks, mixing with the rain. I knew the weather looked ominous, but I never thought I would have ended up here, sopping wet, alone, having a fucking breakdown. I needed a drink. I needed something before I faced Noah again.

Fuck, I can’t go back, and I can’t stay here, there nowhere to go and…

“Mikaela,” Oh god. No, please no. I turned around and there was Sy appearing like a vision from behind the bushes. He held his jacket over his head keeping the rain off his face but the rest of him was soaked to the bone. His wet clothes clung to his body, his white shirt nearly transparent and I could see the dark patches of hair through it. “Hey, Chicken,” he said, his voice was soft, soothing. But I cringed, don’t call me that. Not now. I don’t deserve it. “Come on, you don’t need to be out here. Come back to the room and dry off.”

“I can’t Noah.” I said. “You don’t understand. Or maybe you do, maybe she told you. Tracey said she overheard me talking to her last night about it.”

“About what Mika?” Noah asked. “It can’t be that bad. Let’s talk about it inside.” He took a step toward me, and I took a step back.

“No, Sy. I have to get this out now or I’ll never do it. I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you, but I don’t know what you will think of me. Will you think like she does? That it’s because of Matt, because it’s not. Maybe at first it was, but then it wasn’t. I was scared of getting hurt so I pushed them all away, every guy I dated. I didn’t want to, I just did. Then after a few years I thought, well I had waited this long so I may as well be really picky. Then no one was good enough. And then you came along, I fell for you and I wanted it to be you.

“I saw how you were, you were so good to me, so sweet. I knew you would be like that, I knew you wouldn’t force me or pressure me. I trust you but I’m also scared. So, fucking scared. I just don’t know what to do. What if I’m not good at it. I want to be with you Noah. Really be with you. I want to have sex with you, but I don’t know how. God, I feel like such a god damn child. A fraud. I feel stupid.” I almost bumped into Noah, he had moved closer to me, so close he could reach out and touch me. I stopped talking, panting as he came closer, my heart was racing. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, he was so close. He moved his arms, the jacket covered both our heads.

“Shh, Mika,” he said, “You don’t have to explain anything.”

“But I do because I want to, I want to be with you so much. But I… I’ve never had a guy go down on me before. I had never touched a dick before, I’ve never had sex before. I’m a…” The words were lost in Noah’s mouth as his lips crashed into mine.

I felt the rain as he dropped his jacket and his arms seized me roughly around my waist, aggressively pulling me closer to him. I cried as he kissed me, the relief that flooded me made my knees weak and I gripped his wet shirt in my tired hands just to keep from crumpling to the floor. He didn’t care, he didn’t care. The words a mantra in my mind as I let his lips sweep me away and I forgot everything but him.

Chapter Twelve

Tag List 1

@henryobsessed @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @posiemax @nostalgicb-txh @moonlacebeam @anitababi @agniavateira @blakerogue @shadesofarrogance @mansaaay @stxlemate @wheretheriversrunintothesea @amberangel112 @madbaddic7ed @eldarwen333 @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @summersong69 @littlefreya @littlebirdofrivia @luclittlepond @myloveforhenrycavill @mary-ann84 @tellingyouastory @beck07990 @zealoushound @sofiebstar @sweetlybigdragonn @bloodyinspiredfuck @marantha @diegos-butt @greensleeves888 @endofalldays01 @justaboringadult @ysmmsy @offroadinjandals @littlewrenofrivia @pussyverson @foxyjwls007 @kebabgirl67

#captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson fanfiction #captain sy #captain syverson #syverson fanfiction #syverson #captain syverson x ofc #henry cavill fic #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #cpt syverson #syverson x ofc #syverson fic

[genshinboys]

Hey dear 😊🌸

So I just saw someone asked you which male genshin character you'd ship them with if you knew their zodiac sign and mbti. So I thought you'd maybe do that for me as well? I'd you don't want to that's fine!🙈

I'm a november scorpio and pretty much exactly how you'd imagine it. My mbti is ISFJ-T

As for my personality: I'm super witty/flirty with my s/o. I love nature and whenever I see a cat I take my time to pet it! I also just left the house to collect dandelion for my turtle at the graveyard so I'm v soft for animals in general (not a dog person though). I also bring home bees when I see them on the ground to give them sugar water (I used to bring it with me all the time).

I'm organized and I like to stick to a plan rather than being thrown out in the unknown. But maybe that's something I should dare more often? I work alone and take care of paperwork. I like being all by myself a lot it's calming and helps me to de-stress. So I guess I could need someone more adventurous that would put me out there and challenge me?

I'm into dark academia/light academia. I love psychology as you know. Books are my favorite. Personally feel the most drawn to Inazuma. My fav seasons would be autumn and winter, I actually like being cold. My test results said I'd have a cryo vision which isn't surprising, hehe.

On the other hand I'm insecure and tend to get jealous because of that. I went through a lot of trauma and need a partner that will make sure to calm me down and take care of me and listen properly. Depression hits at least once a day so someone that's able to cheer me up with their humor or calm side would be awesome. I come off as a cold ass, but I can be very soft if you get to know me better, cliché scorpio.

Thank you so much and dont forget to drink the clear sauce and have a rest! Don't forget you dont have to do this!!!💕

HELLO PRINCESS 😘

It was a difficult one, ngl

I would ship you with Kazuha. He, just like you, has very close connection with nature and he would be more than happy to drag you with him for all sorts of tiny trips or even bigger adventures! I know you're the home body type and you prefer being alone but he will take you out of your shell while respecting your boundaries. You'll not feel that he is forcing you to do anything, quite to the contrary, his mellow and sensitive nature causes that you actually want to accompany him because it is all so new and therefore exciting. He fascinates you and you're drawn to him like a magnet.

Kazuha, being very observant, knows when to leave you alone to your thoughts, to let you think and recharge your batteries. He, more than anyone realises the importance of self-introspection. However, he won't let you sulk in the corner for too long, expect him to come and surprise you with a soft peck on the cheek and a sweetly murmured haiku that he has just written for you 💕

He is very romantic and dedicated. Kazuha won't let you feel jealous, always ready to prove his feelings for you by the smallest of things, but how meaningful. He can be cheesy sometimes but well, isn't that part of his charm? 🤭 Let him recite these poems for you, hold your hand while he takes you out for one of your walks around Kazuha's homeland, kisses you breathless under the shadow of the sakura tree when you least expect it.

You need his spontaneous nature and child-like curiosity that will open your eyes to new possibilities but also will very often put a smile to your face. Depression with Kazuha? I don't think that's entirely possible. This short man is the walking image of posititivity, calmness, stoicism and he always tries to see the bright side of things that have happened to him, even though it might have been awful. He will listen to your problems, good and bad stories from the past, will let you vent and you will find yourself pouring your heart out for this caring and loving man. Kazuha will always offer a word of advice that you will cherish and remember.

Intimacy between you two? ❤️ Oh, dear me. *blushes hard* 🤭 you two can be quite intense, no? ❤️ Kazuha will love your flirtatious advances and let me just tell you that he will be exceptionally responsive to whatever you do or say. Although he might appear innocent he definitely isn't lol 😂 he will be a passionate lover, not afraid to explore your sexuality and ready to satisfy all of your needs. The chemistry between you two is just through the roof *fans myself* honestly, what are you waiting for???? Go and collect your man 🤭

[inb4belphienaps]

warnings: angst (i think?), mention of blood, introspection strikes again word count: 1264 A/N: with peace and love, this is written from lucifer’s perspective <3

When you sigh, I feel the ghost of your breath against my lips.

When you stop and reach upwards towards the sky in an attempt to stretch your stiff back, I feel the weight of the world rise and fall from your shoulders.

When you whisper to yourself in the quiet of the night and watch the darkness shift like the tide, I feel your hand in mine.

With the oath I took, you and I became connected. In that one instance, there was no longer a “you” or a “me”. There was only us.

There was only and is only the bond that we share, this immovable thread, never to be severed even by our own design. Though we may each have the power to do so, I have no intentions of cutting it.

I just hope to be able to say the same about you…

Longing. Yearning. Aching. Knowing. But do you know?

Do you know how quickly you infatuated me? How readily my affections grew to such proportions that seemed impossible? How easily the desire to have you look at only me spread throughout my entire being? Like wildfire, like an untamable spark, it had engulfed me before I could even recall what used to lie there in my chest, what had occupied that empty space before you.

Struck so suddenly I withdrew into myself. I watched you through walls that could neither contain your presence nor discourage mine. I heard you read to yourself, brows furrowed as shadows danced along your silhouette, and I would close my eyes so as to remember your voice. Your voice that can do so much with but an utter of my name. One look. One word. That’s all I need.

And yet, I am selfish. Incapable of letting you be.

My expression sours and the formication of anger does nothing to dampen my hunger. This craving for you is new. But it is also irony. In the past (though some still practice this custom), humans were used as sustenance to demons. Sacrificed and hunted down for sport for generations. Why then do I covet you instead?

What are you to me?

This question bounces around in my head. Sometimes with a speed that I cannot fathom. Other times, it lingers, almost hovering in the air, drifting along on the stream of consciousness I call my thoughts. In the silence of my mind and in the desolate hallways of this flesh, I picture you as clear as day.

How can you know, I ask myself. How can you possibly know?

Those human hands, soft to the touch yet strong enough to mend the broken. Those livid lips, full of emotion and yet unreadable on occasions wherein I wish I could understand. Those eager eyes, like glass, reflective and transparent but glazed over when met with disfavors.

Those eyes that seek me out draw me near. Wordlessly, I walk forward. Two steps become three, then four and suddenly I come face-to-face with your visage, and yet still, the urge to close the gap between us grows ever stronger. I’m not sure what this means exactly. I have a hunch.

The Ancient Greeks had the right idea.

…I think.

You know how it goes, don’t you?

A single body with four arms and legs. A single head with two faces. Complete and whole and happy in their absoluteness. It’s obvious, isn’t it? That the Gods were jealous. The supposed “fear” for the humans’ lack of devotion is but an excuse.

Wrathful and spiteful Gods – what a familiarly arduous concept.

No power, as well-intentioned as they may begin, can resist the sins of temptation. And I’m sure you’re aware by now that temptation can come in many forms. Even you, you who appears to have no weaknesses, aren’t immune to its effects.

With this at least I know that I may have some influence over you. That as indirect as this said influence may be, I am still the one behind it.

So why does this notion do little to dispel the loneliness?

Why does the brief moment of satisfaction fall away to give leverage to something deeper? Something more profound than whatever lies beneath the term “loneliness”? It does not describe the extent to which such melancholy resides. It does not describe the misery that threatens to plague me when you are not by my side. It does not pacify the fear, or the regret, or the ever-looming presence of whatever confusion brews inside.

Why did I dismiss you so early on in our acquaintance?

Because I have lived through the pain of love (regarding humans in particular). The way it ravages the soul and bears its destruction with no care for the consequences such violence reaps.

I have witnessed the anguish, the way it consumes one’s mind and leads them astray. I have seen to what extent this manner of delirium, like the seed of a forgotten weed, can flourish when left alone and unplucked. I carry this knowledge within me, and I recognize its devastation.

And I am torn.

For I have also seen the opposite. The other side, the one veiled in devotion. In such pure and unadulterated tenderness that has, I’ll admit, affected me. Even after the fall, I could not shake it. I cannot deny the existence of love in humans. How they can be infused with passion, and how that passion can snuff out any evil that may cause them doubt.

As enticing as temptation can be to humans, they are just as strong to push back against it. To resist and to surpass the limits that have been used to contain them. I see that in you.

In how you act in front of my brothers. But most importantly, in how you act in front of me. Do I amuse you? Do you think me off-putting? Is it not different now? Between us…

Why won’t you give yourself to me?

Why won’t you let me in?

How can I take back what I may have done that unknowingly tainted your view of me? How can I tint your gaze with desire like my own? How can I decorate my words with the fondness that I hide so that I may appear as unstirred as you?

So many questions that I hold close to my chest, like roses in the breast-pocket of my vest. They are left unanswered and better thought of as unmentioned in your absence. Their thorns, however, tear through the fabric and prick my skin, drawing beads of blood.

This bond, it grows. Yet I fear that it is one-sided. That if I were to draw a scale, it would undoubtedly tip and crumble at my feet. Hesitation makes a mockery of me, my love. May I call you as such?

Do I dare to reveal my intentions so blatantly?

My love…my dearest…it grows. It blooms. It flowers and it’s beautiful. Would you allow me to imagine it? Us. Not just the idea of us. I want to imagine the reality of us. As tangible and as visible as both the warmth and the flush on my cheeks when I think of you.

I want to hold your hand in mine and feel you squeeze my fingers. I want to kiss your lips and drink your affections. I want…

…I want you to tell me that you love me. That I am not alone in my realizations. That you’re as helpless as me to succumb to them.

That for me, you will not resist the temptation of love.

#i know i bully him but really it's so that i don't let on how much i like him #there is only (1) lovesick fool in this house #and this is he #obey me writing #obey me angst #obey me lucifer #obey me! lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer x gn reader #my writing 🐇

[fluffnstuffq]

We all know that the “kin for fun” trend is bad. 

Recently, however, the question of “why is it bad?” has risen in prominence, and thus I’d like to give my two cents on the matter. I initially wanted to give a rehash of the whole “this is a community which has been around for decades, please don’t appropriate its terms because you don’t know what you’re talking about” spiel.. though I know that’s been repeated endlessly to no avail. 

Dozens of times I’ve tried to explain that, though I’ve often been faced with the “words change” or “it’s just a game, it harms no one” argument.

So I’m taking a more personal approach.

I don’t know if my anecdotes will change anyone’s mind, but if anyone in the “kin for fun” community sees this and actually reads through it, I implore you to try to listen to genuine otherkin, do some research, and find other terms that better suit you.

Beware, long rambling anecdote under the cut.

It is hard to believe that, a mere 8 months ago, I was new to the otherkin community. 

I’d been reading about and researching otherkinity in depth for as long as a year prior, though it was as recently as May 2020 upon which I took my own first step into evaluating my own experiences, creating an otherkin oriented side blog, and formally taking the plunge into what I’d initially assumed, from fun “kin assign ask games” or “no doubles drama”, to be a trend.

While I quickly versed myself in the original, serious and introspective parts of the community, I had my fair share of run-ins with those of the “kinnie/kin for fun crowd”. One such experience, over the course of about two-three months, forever left an impression on the way I view the community (and the problems within it) as a whole.

Without naming names, some of the individuals we encountered turned out to be... the practical embodiment of some of the worst facets of this community.

They were the prime example of the misguided “kinnie” mindset. Dead-set on fitting under the ‘kin label, though unwilling to do any research on their own. Faking out of control, dramatic shifts to seem more “valid” to genuine otherkin (more on that later). Willing to go as far as picking traits from other people’s original characters to “customize” their “kinsonas” perfectly. 

However, aside from their merely misguided attempts to fit in (which could’ve been easily fixed if not for the stubborn kinnie mindset), the most scathing of their actions highlighted some major issues of the “kin for fun” side.

In just a few months, we had our identities stomped on and treated like nothing more than a game. 

You see, the “kinnie” mindset is not self contained. It is almost impossible to maintain this mindset and respect the involuntary, deeply personal nature of otherkin history, due both to widespread misinformation/trends, as well as the common plague of stubborn ignorance of definitions.

In most cases we’ve seen, once one steps fully into the mindset that their own kintypes are nothing more than a game or an act, they begin to at the very least subconsciously view others’ experiences the same way. 

This is obviously not the case for all those who take on alterhuman identities by choice (ex: copinglinking). However, in taking on the “kin for fun” label, one immediately disrespects the identities of others by appropriating and bending terms with a history to fit themself. 

And once one establishes that they lack care or concern for the already, dare I say, endangered terms once meant to foster a sense of community and understanding, of shared experiences... that person already predisposes themself to spiraling into greater disrespect and ignorance of the identities of others.

The individuals that we encountered, like many others of this mindset, used their so-called “kins” for the sole purpose of feeling validated, for looking “cool” and as leverage to get their way. Because it was nothing more than roleplay and a brief interest to them, they often treated others’ kintypes as something that could be similarly discarded/”turned off” or reset. As if others’ kintypes were nothing more than characters which didn’t deserve respect.

Exotrauma and otherwise painful memories, while stressful and sometimes nightmare inducing for us, were nothing more than fodder for outlandish “story ideas” and “angst” for them. 

In the cases of these individuals faking shifts, they often acted in ways threatening and even triggering to those around them; though because it was just a show for them, they failed time and time again to recognize the negative impact their violent “shifts” had on others. 

They had no restraint, for both their own actions and the fearful/concerned reactions of others were just harmless roleplay in their eyes. (I do feel like..  even roleplay should have boundaries if the events of a story upset the people participating, and the notion that anything goes, even at the expense of someone else’s comfort.. it just gives very uncomfortable “fiction does not affect reality” vibes. Though, that’s a story for another time).

As our experiences weren’t real to them and never had been, they often conflated us with the “canon characters”, like we and many others they interacted with were nothing more than toys to fixate on, change and push “headcanons” onto, and test the limits of.

And because they didn’t care to learn, because individuals such as these continued to remorselessly fall deeper into the rabbit hole of “I do whatever I want/I don’t care to learn otherwise”, the lack of consideration grew more severe.

Those who “kin for fun” may certainly be experiencing.. something, I will not discount that assertion. Whether copinglinking, a hearttype, or merely a fictionflicker/cameo shift. However, it’d be disingenuous to say that it is harmless for them to continue to warp and pick at terms that do not and will never fit them. For every joke, every dozens-long “coping-kinlist”, every admittance of “haha I was never a serious kin”, they all do the same in spreading misinformation. 

As I see more and more people self-identifying as “copinglink, but using the kin title because it sounds better”, even if calling oneself “a non-serious kinnie”, one wonders... why use those terms if you know they do not fit? Why encroach upon communities of bittersweet memories, of aching homesickness, of involuntary nonhumanity, only with the intention of putting on an act?

Why fight so hard, when directly told and shown how “kin for fun” actively tears apart the already dwindling otherkin community on this platform? Why cling so hard to words that are not yours, why force change upon the definitions of words meant to be a safe haven for those searching for understanding? Why paint “serious otherkin” as dangerous gatekeepers, sufferers of clinical lycanthropy, or those merely suffering from delusions/hallucinations?

Because of those who “kin for fun”, I was initially steered away from investigating my own identity; I’d only seen the jokes, the toxic “kin drama”, the cringe blogs and factkin and “kinning”. Because of “kin for fun”, it took me over a year to come to terms with my own alterhumanity, in all of its facets.

Because of “kinnies”, my fears are proven time and time again that I will come across someone who views my identity as roleplay at best and “childish, a phase, character theft” at worse. Because of “kinnies” and the mindset they’ve fostered, time and time again someone steals my memories, my experiences, my identity, justifying it as creating their own version, like an AU of an AU.

Because of “kinnies”, time and time again I’ve been told to “stop taking things so seriously, it’s just for fun” when complaining about my identity being minimized. I’ve been told that “kinnies”, despite appropriating an already existing community, are the “normal ones”, the “sane ones”, the “good ones” who don’t really believe in all that they boast. 

Some have even told me that it doesn’t matter at all, for all they can see is a trend with no real hold over their identity in the longrun. “It won’t matter in ten years”, they say. 

Perhaps not for them, long after their interest in the “trend” has faded. But for me and countless other genuine otherkin? In ten years I will still be Blixer from Just Shapes and Beats, I will still be an unnamed creature of woods and starlight and faded memories of golden lanterns, I will still be otherkin, and I will still carry the scars of my identity being torn to shreds and thrown into my face like dirt.

I cannot run from my kintypes and never could, even when I was afraid of them. “Kinnies”, in most cases, hardly believe my identity really exists.

What do they believe, then? What are they trying to achieve, scrubbing away the less “aesthetically pleasing”, fluffy bits of this community? What good does it do them to take meaningful, personal words to describe an identity that they can shed at the drop of a hat if it is “problematic” or boring at the end of the day?

One can smile and nod and say that, despite “kinning for fun”, they still respect otherkinity as a whole. And I say, in most cases, that reassurance is hollow. You have already stolen our words, you have already spread misinformation.

This has stumbled into rambling territory, so I leave a few questions, honest, genuine questions.

I ask those who “kin for fun”, what is the allure of words that you have stolen? What is the allure of having the blood of a shattered community on your hands?

As many others have said before, you may find a place in the greater alterhuman community. We have terms for you, as well as many other specific experiences.

Why fight so hard to steal our haven, to push us out of our own spaces, when your own words are waiting for you with open arms?

Words change, yes, but why fight so hard to change them at the expense of others?

#fluffywords #otherkin #fictionkin #important #//i want this to be SEEN this is our most important essay post yet /srs // #please reblog #//rb if you want to i mean. not forcing anyone /gen. its just very very important weee// #//we crave introspective discussion//

[slightlycrunchy]

👀 hello, how about ”I need to show you something.” 💖

I liked this one so much, great suggestion! Send me prompts, friends! This ended up with some crack elements haha

800~ words, rated T. Modern au, college. Jealousy, getting together, Geraskier. Happy ending, a bit of crack! (literally XD)

“Oh my god...Jas.”

Geralt’s eyes are glued to Jaskier’s skin. Where before there had been soft and pale flesh, lightly dusted with hair...well now all he sees is ink.

“I know, right?”

Jaskier stands before him, his hands holding up his shirt as he peeks over his own shoulder to stare at Geralt in unrestrained excitement. His body bounces with it, eyes alight with amusement as Geralt stands behind him beside a conspicuous brick building. They’re between classes right now and Jaskier had run up to him, spitting in his eager whispers for Geralt to “follow me, I need to show you something!” He had followed without hesitation. 

He might regret that now.

The tattoo lies just above Jaskier’s arse, right above the beginnings of a soft cleft which Geralt can see due to Jaskier having pulled down his pants by two inches to give him a plain view. Geralt’s face pinches in thought.

“It's a lute.”

“It's a guitar!” Jaskier answers--whines, in fact.

“You don't even play the guitar, Jas.”

“But I’m learning! Gods, Geralt don’t be such a stick in the mud. It’s good, right?!”

Geralt looks at it again. He supposes it is, the lines seem accurate enough. He wants to touch it. “When did you get it?”

“Two weeks back, Valdo dared me--you know I can’t say no to him.”

Geralt does know, and he hates it. He’s had to drag Jaskier out of too many sticky situations thanks to one Valdo Marx, the other guitarist in their ‘band’. Calling it such feels too generous on Geralt’s part, but he won’t tell Jaskier that. He simply hums his assent.

“Oh, come off it, Geralt I know you don’t like him but you have to admit he keeps things interesting,” Jaskier says as he lowers his shirt and turns around to face Geralt. He swoops down and grabs his over-the-shoulder bag he had flung onto the grass in his haste. Geralt checks his watch.

“We’re going to be late to class.” His voice is flat, flashes of Valdo’s face dragging down his mood faster than his cat Roach can eat her favorite treats. He knows it’s jealousy; he’s come to terms with that fact. Why Jaskier would waste so much of his time with the utter knobhead instead of his other friends that care about him far more, Geralt doesn’t think he’ll ever understand. His irritation must show on his face, because soon enough he feels a gentle hand at his elbow. It retreats just as softly.

“Are you alright, Geralt?”

“Fine. Let’s just go, Jaskier.” He doesn’t bother to hide his vexation; Jaskier wouldn’t be able to pinpoint its origin anyway. 

They begin walking to their shared class, and Geralt gets lost in the sound of their feet hitting the pavement, over and over. He doesn’t bother looking up when Jaskier speaks again.

“I already want another one, I think. There’s something about the process--you know I didn’t cry at all for the pain, Geralt? Shocked myself with that one if you believe it.” Geralt can. “It’s the act of having something permanent against your skin, the inability to go back to what you were...changed forever into something new. A bit scary if I think too much about it.”

Geralt doesn’t say anything, and still their feet tap, tap against the concrete. Jaskier continues.

“It’s like jumping off of a cliff, I think. Standing at the top is frightening, but the free fall isn’t so bad--assuming there’s a soft landing, of course…I hope there’s a soft landing...”

Geralt can’t help looking at Jaskier now, his voice having turned thoughtful and introspective.

“Are we still talking about tattoos, Jas?”

As if forgetting Geralt was even there, Jaskier turns his head quickly, clear blue eyes wet with some sort of emotion that Geralt can’t place. Perhaps he’s upset his friend...maybe he should have been a bit more enthusiastic about the tattoo.

“You know, you’re unbearably dense sometimes, Geralt,” Jaskier answers, his hand coming to thread into the crook of Geralt’s arm. Geralt feels his cheeks flame hot when he stumbles the slightest bit at the contact. Jaskier laughs brightly. “Maybe I could come over later and you could help me come up with something. Oh! Even better, why don’t you come with me next time? Please?”

Geralt wills his heartbeat to slow, wishes it never rose at all when Jaskier looks at him like that--but he knows all is hopeless. How could he ever deny this person anything, with the way his eyes light up at every turn? The fingers at his elbow tighten; Geralt finds he likes it too much. 

“Alright. Yes.”

It only hits him later, after the day is done and he lies upon his bed, Roach tucked neatly under his arm, that indeed Jaskier had not at all been speaking of tattoos. He falls asleep with the smile still on his face at the realization.

#the witcher fic #angst #geraskier #my writing #i really dont know if jaskiers thoughts were clear on this but im posting it anywayyyyy lol