#how did they explain that

[you-have-been-frizzled]

i wonder what the cover story for Sophie’s human parents being kidnapped was, like their emotions where still there even after their minds were wiped, how on earth did they cover being kidnapped and tortured for four months up

#like what memories did they give them #how did they explain that #i can’t think of anything #like other than like something really drastic #kotlc #amy kotlc

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that? #anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post

[cyancees]

i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing

#adhd #doodles #show this to your therapist instead of failing to explain it like i did #me: its like i cant control my thoughts like i was trying to think of something earlier today but #all i could think of was this giraffe eating leaves and no matter how hard i tried to focus the thought would just. replay #my therapist: what happens if you try to let the thought just play out #me: ........ i dont know but i dont want it to be there at all when im trying to do simple addition in a maths exam #10k #100k

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[audhd-nightwing]

jason, coming back from the dead and seeing tim as robin: how could bruce replace me? how could he give robin to someone else?

dick, who created robin in honor of his dead parents and then had bruce take it away and give it to jason without even asking him:

#no hate to jason it’s not his fault bruce is emotionally inept #bruce: ah yes let me take away my teenage son’s coping mechanism that he made to honor his parents #and without asking or telling him give it to a random child i adopted #who has never met him before #and not explain the significance of the name or costume at all #LIKE #HOW TF DID HE THINK THAT WAS OKAY??? #dc comics #dc #dcu #batman comics #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #bruce wayne #robin #robin!dick #robin!jason #robin!tim #red hood #nightwing #batman

[bookwyrminspiration]

last night I had a dream that there was a tumblr update and the only thing it changed was that for two minutes straight you could sprinkle shredded cheese on other blogs and their posts, and everyone's dashboard was just pandemonium as everyone cheesed each other. two minutes of abominable amounts of shredded cheese raining from the dash. tumblr at its finest. get cheesed

#mutuals I'd cheese you <3 #shitpost #listen it's a shitpost but it was an actual dream #two minutes of cheesing was free. if you wanted to cheese someone longer you had to pay #but my god did people make the most of their two free minutes #there was shredded cheese all over the posts on my dash #it was both real and digital cheese at the same time I don't know how to explain it #it was entirely contained within the screen. but was somehow real actual shredded cheddar cheese #i don't dream often but when I do...

[turtlespancake]

i love seeing out of context posts about long-running stories with deep lore because it's always shit like "MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! i can't believe that the metallic athenaeum's envoy actually used never-ending dance of the 57th universe on rionne as if she's not LITERALLY the incarnate of august?!?!" it's like buddy boy thank you for the spoiler tag but all of those words are incomprehensible without at least 5 years of foreshadowed knowledge, 7 different fan theories, and 21 wiki entries

#rambling #this post was about 3 different fandoms #number 1 was my friend trying to explain to me what was happening to dazai bungo stray dogs (i have not seen bungo stray dogs) #number 2 was ominscient reader viewpoint. anything tagged MAJOR SPOILERS for orv is either completely incomprehensible or like. #an image of someone interacting with a book. and somehow BOTH manage to be emotionally devastating in context #number 3 was me trying to explain genshin lore to a friend and realizing i sounded deranged saying shit like #“after the primoridal one fought the second who came celestia used nails to supposedly heal the land but enkanomiya still sank rip” #how did the wot fandom find this i am a gaming blog mostly..

[barghest-land]

ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra

#this art hurts so bad #in a way i'd never be able to explain #also it just upsets me a lot because i don't like how i did it:( #idk how to make it better so i'm just gonna leave it as it is #and go to sleep good night #it was supposed to be cool and simple just like that #but in my eyes it's just missing everything and i don't know how to fix it #genuinely thought it was gonna be a good art but here i am oh well. that happens i guess #im sorry javier :(( i'll make more good art i promise #barghestland #art #artists on tumblr #rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #javier escuella

[schnoobums]

How many of your co-workers did you just eject into space to get rid of me, huh?

#borderlands #tftbl #tales from the borderlands #tftbledit #gamingedit #videogameedit #handsome jack #rhys strongfork #edits by kara #i cannot begin to explain how much i LOVE this line #it is THE perfect reply to destroy your enemy psychologically #you think you're a hero? that you're the good guy? #did you even blink at all the death you caused in sake of taking me down? #rhys definitely deals with this trauma forever #flashing gifs #1k

[ilivelikeimtrying]

I might have noticed this late but did anyone else notice during the Mama Train fight after Leo and Raph mind meld the second time-

When they were executing Raph's plan, that one split second when they look to each other-

Leo has Raph's eyes, and Raph has Leo's.

#please ignore the Nick stuff on the pics #tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #leo #raph #scene analysis #leonardo #raphael #rise leo #rise raph #ninja mind meld #mind meld #also i love how much patience they have with April #when she started poking and prodding at them (pulling in Leo's case) you can see the 💢 on their heads but they keep their cool #raph calmly explaining to her that they had ninja mind melded and that that was something they did now

[tapakah0]

Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*

#rottmnt #I am always very nervous when I draw commissions that are related to someone's story... how to explain it... #No matter how many times you might tell me that it's okay #I can't put it in the words because it sounds stupid and silly #but #you see #It's CAS #cass fanart tag #and it is commission #I ALWAYS FEEL NERVOUS TO POST COMMISSIONS YES I DID THEM FOR SOMEONE BUT they might be related to someone's story or comic and I sit and #think “Can I show it? Isn't it irritating? Am I even allowed to take commission related to it??” I“M SORRY I'M FIGHTING WITH THIS FEELING #ALL MY LIFE #okay no I can't explain it it's just my stupid brain that feels very nervous about such a topic and wants to hide everything related to it #You saw nothing but I just needed to put it into words to feel a little better about it #*hides*

[million-with-a-b]

how is DID the most subtle yet obvious disorder ever

#I don't even know how to explain it #did #System #Did osdd #Endos dni #Did system #System things #Dissociative system

[theandrosaur]

I'm doodling them while I watch the series and get inspired in the meantime.

Did I already said Cole?

#ninjago #lego ninjago #cole brookstone #kai smith #zane julien #glaciershipping #if you want it to be #my art #Jay had a great arc in skybound #i'm always a bit reluctant when romances are in the foreground of plot but #he was cute and so fucking stupid at the same time #hands of time now and I'm so SO happy Cole is back to normal #even if they did not explain HOW he's back to normal ?????

[r-aindr0p]

Magic jail for the first years

#twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #ace trappola #twst ace #deuce spade #twst deuce #trey clover #twst trey #cater diamond #twst cater #why is in the official game cater mentioned before trey this drives me insane #why did they not keep the number order omg #why why why 1 2 4 3 no this is like seeing a crooked painting on a wall and you can't fix it because you're idk in a musemum #design wise riddle is my fav from heartslabyul #but character wise I'd say I prefer the chronically online internally tired and a bit sad but slaying one #working on the diasomnia boys tomorrow aaaaaadfsjzqb thank god they have little to no white on their uniforms #it's a bit of a pain do add on a png drawing somehow idk how to explain it

[starryfictionalgirl]

Watcher announcing they’re leaving YouTube and putting all their new content behind a paywall via a new streaming service in a nutshell:

#look I get that being beholden to the whims of advertisers sucks and that making these videos costs a lot of money #and artists should absolutely be paid what they’re worth #but making a streaming service for ONLY their content is a really dumb business decision #and while I will entertain theories suggesting otherwise #I believe all three of them are equally to blame for this dumb idea until they explain how and why they did this #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #ghost files #mystery files #puppet history

[dyinghomoerotically]

One of the (many) things I love about Xie Lian is how artfully he combines old man and babygirl. I would give examples, but I don’t think I need to. We all know

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #xie lian #in modern era #he would have a Nokia #use ‘the’ before social media names #and post cringy quotes on Facebook #but it would take absolutely forever for Hua Cheng to explain to him how Facebook works #and at the same time. #he’s so 🥰✨💞🌸🥺💅 #you know? #also the fact that he’s soooo nice #but could snap your spine so quick and easy #truly the man ever #and damn I said I wouldn’t elaborate and did anyway