#i also laugh my ass off every single time i watch thor throw a ball at a window and it bouncing back and knocking him down

[the-firebird69]

So trying to use Trump as this road guy saying he's got people around and they're dangerous and Max are saying his people are not that dangerous and you can stop them and people saying no we can't and it looks pretty bad Max is starting to imitate him because they're saying this and all of a sudden we decided something there's a motif right there in the max are having it done some foreigners were doing it and they stopped and they started going after Max and it's starting right now and yeah they're having Trump do stuff still but your jerks going to do it until it's just him he said it too and so you can't take him away from us instead of course not it's going to New Zealand to do the job it's going to be the Nazgul, well one of them you can't do that okay he'll go to Australia first as Ghost Rider you can't do that okay well he'll go to Concord Massachusetts and be the headless horseman which he was and you can't do that and I said I'm not really doing it he is I learned that from Ellen the show so laughing but it's not funny you can't you what you're saying is you may not cuz I most certainly can it's not like a huge deal just one a****** in your messages just going to chop your heads off you don't find that to be unnerving at all do you maybe annoying a little annoying it's like not even there like you people aren't can't talk to you and I'll get out of my way no move your body no shut up stop bothering me about every single aspect of life look I'mma just a child I'm going to pour gas on you and let you on fire that's what I'm doing you have a problem with it who gets a s*** who gives it all Mac who cares at all about you I'm going to let you on fire after playing gas on you I hope this don't copy cats around like in your immediate vicinity with gas cans... So you see him cringe and he's not smiling says don't print it also say of course I won't print it but every time I do I might get something that I need rather than not doing it so of course I'm not going to print it but I'm going to print it a couple seconds you know why probably not probably not it's time you have to know either does he he's such a f****** a****** he doesn't get the whole nature of sopranos he's going to be singing soprano balls and dick off now you know what I mean it's responsible for helping our kind by creating new races I'm kind of a young leader and Young ruler and they may want to use like the higher-ups you know what I'm saying as a vessel. I finally think something Max says I said why don't you stick it up your ass Johnny sack of s*** by the way nobody hits me in the balls you piece of f****** dog s*** you sat by and watch some Melissa had kids tons of them and you can't figure it out and a lot of people looked at the video and said that's not a huge trick these people must be stupid and Rich well I say it's just stupid rich please sorry don't lose them and sarcasm if not Google it so I listen to our son tearing a new one and he's falling down he's getting beat up exactly where he is too and people are looking for gasoline I said alcohol would work anything like 80 proof for better just make sure you give him a massive dousing if it's alcohol that proof so trying to find alcohol and they can't find it so you cut the control line off of bicycle and use a little teeny pipette to get gas out of a gas tank some people are laughing cuz that easy it really is some produce a gas tank and the police are pulling in this big fight going on they're throwing the gas of the cops it's Trump and they're forcing us they always do even if they look like Max

Thor Freya

[iamanartichoke]

Last night I ventured into the plain old #loki tag for the first time in forever, and of course it was filled with all the trailer reactions, etc, but one thing I kinda zeroed in on was how that “I’d never do it again” clip is being so positively received - by which, I mean that the majority of people seem to genuinely think it’s absolutely hilarious and even looking at it from an objective standpoint, I don’t see why it’s funny? 

Like, yes - the “joke” is that Mobius calls Loki out on Loki “betraying” people all the time (not even going to touch how Untrue that is) and Loki is offended. It’s not that I don’t think it’s funny bc I don’t “get the joke.” It’s just that I don’t think anything about the setup of the joke or the delivery of the line is particularly amusing. Certainly not “the height of comedy” and “LMAO” funny. 

Even if I agreed that Loki had betrayed everyone (thus giving the joke merit), I don’t think the joke landed where it intended to land. 3/10, nice effort, I see what you were going for, but it didn’t quite work, guys, sorry. That’s my reaction regardless of the meta (or wank, depending on your pov) of whether or not Mobius’s line is even valid. 

Now, Once Upon a Time pretty quickly devolved into an overall dumpster fire after season 2ish, but there were genuinely good arcs/moments throughout it (I am apparently the only one on the planet who really enjoyed the Frozen storyline), but season 1 was the pinnacle of that show’s run. And Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin was a huge part of what kept it reasonably decent for several seasons. I have a ton of respect for Robert Carlyle as an actor in general; he’s one of the greats. Always gives 110% to his roles. Would consider him and Tom to be actors of the same caliber. 

And I just keep thinking of this moment in Season 1 where Rumple shows up to Belle’s castle and there’s a whole standoff and someone is like, “He [Rumple] is untrustworthy, evil, etc” (I don’t remember the actual line) and Rumple is like, 

^^ I think that’s funny as fuck. 

The acting choice here is like the perfect balance of “subtle” and “visibly (amusingly) offended.” It’s meant to make you laugh for a few seconds and then continue on. And it’s in-character, bc both the audience and the characters know Rumple is full of it, that he’s kinda gleefully being a villain at this point, and so his being “offended” here is funny on an ironic level of like, “Well, I never!” while knowing full well that the mistrust is deserved. 

And I could go into a whole other level of how Rumple isn’t really evil, either, and actually he has a ton in common with Loki as a character, now that I think about it (morally grey, complex, tragic background, etc) - but, the point is, the combination of the narrative (”Rumple’s a villain, he’s being called out on his villainy, and he’s amused by it”) and the subltety of the reaction (”Wow, it’s so rude of you to be 100% correct about my moral character) makes this a solid joke. 10/10, would LOL again, etc. 

Contrastingly, the first part of what makes this similar scene in the Loki trailer kinda cringey is that first of all, there’s some kind of cognitive dissonance overall in Loki’s arc, wherein he’s done bad things and people keep framing him as the villain, but then when he’s called out on being the villain, it’s always for things he didn’t actually do. So the context of the joke is a little murky. But then, second of all, his reaction veers away from the subtle and right into the very in-your-face “How dare you imply I’d do something that I’m not even sure I have a history of doing, obviously I’d never do that again!” 

If he (Tom, that is) had delivered the line a little less like the class clown and a little more like Rumplestiltskin, I’d go with it. If his response had been something like a totally dry, “Um, that was one time” or something, I’d go with it. If his facial expression had given us any insight into his genuine reaction to the comment, I’d go with it.

^^ I genuinely can’t tell if he’s offended over being called out, offended bc he hasn’t stabbed people in the back, both, neither? Besides “LMAO Loki you little shit,” how is the audience supposed to interpret this? 

If someone who thought this joke was great would like to explain what I’m missing here to me, I’d be glad to hear it. I do want to reiterate that I get the idea of the joke, but please feel free to explain to me how it successfully landed for you and what it is I’m missing. 

Hi, my name is Charlotte and I like to write hundreds of words analyzing a three-second joke because that is my idea of a good time, nice to meet you. 

#a fun compare/contrast exercise if you will #and look i love tom okay #you all know this #i have nothing but 100% respect for him #as both a person and an actor #expressing that i found a particular acting choice kinda cringey #or that i don't always agree with everything he has to say about loki #shouldn't imply that i love or respect him any less #just as a general disclaimer #also the loki tag is fucking wild #i don't think i recognized a single person in there #like i had no idea how many people are in the loki fandom on tumblr who i've never heard of nor interacted with #i'll note that there's a noticeable lack of positive analysis in that tag #by which i mean exploration into how loki's arc is a good one #just 'omg so great 10/10 love it' over and over again #an interesting observation to me #also my sense of humor is admittedly kinda weird #but i like to think it's also pretty varied #i like sarcasm and irony and subtlety #i also laugh my ass off every single time i watch thor throw a ball at a window and it bouncing back and knocking him down #i also snicker internally every time i hear something #that could be a double entendre #i think 'your mom' and 'that's what she said' jokes are hilarious #so idk i just feel like i am coming at this as a person with a decent sense of humor #as opposed to feeling like i'm superior in any way to people who do think this is funny #but anyway i should delete my tumblr bc these posts of mine are getting out of hand i'm sorry #tag rambles #loki #loki on the small screen #tom hiddleston is my favorite unicorn

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki avengers #loki daily #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki x y/n #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki (marvel) #loki imagine #loki masterlist #loki and thor

[coyotesongwriting]

When It Rains, It Pours - Ch. 9

Avengers - Bucky Barnes/Reader

Chapter 9 - Fighting Fit

Story Summary:  Things are going great between you and Bucky, until one day they aren’t. He dumps you, not knowing that what you’d wanted to talk to him about was the positive pregnancy test you held behind your back.

Chapter Summary: Training brings you together, Dinner pushes you apart

Author’s Note: Thank you guys for reading this! All mistakes are my own! Also, there are officially 16 chapters to this story so it’s gonna keep coming one a day until it’s finished!

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

Tag List (if you want to be added or removed let me know!):    @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark  @samsgoddess @redfoxwritesstuff​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @fookingmuffins​ @yasnooshka24​ @redfoxwritesstuff​ @amazon-belle​ @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven​ @kinkywitchy​ @superwonderwholock​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @paranoiadestroyah​ @cool-kids-cant-be-dead​ @sarcastic-and-cool​

Previous Chapter

You slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning until dawn began to light up the sky. You silently dressed and stepped into the lounge to make a fresh bit of tea. Seeing Bucky’s peaceful face as he slept on the too-short couch made you pause. God, you missed him.

You missed him in ways you didn’t know how to say. The way he’d light up when you’d lean in for a kiss after a long mission. The way he’d always want to be touching you, even though he pretended you were the clingy one. But what you loved the most, what you missed most of all? The early mornings in bed, the two of you laying together as the sunlight bathed the room in a warm glow, the whispered promises of what was to come, and the chance to forget for even a few minutes that life existed outside of your bedroom door. Those were the times you missed the most, and seeing the soft sunlight on his face, your chest tightened painfully.

Before you could think better of it, you slowly reached out and smoothed his hair, brushing it out of his face. You smiled sadly at him, your hand lingering against his face. Slowly he began to stir and it dawned on you what you were doing. You carefully pulled your hand away from him, but as he blinked awake he gently grabbed your hand in his. You let him, leaving it in his.

“Morning” his voice was thick, heavy with sleep. 

“Morning Buck” you whispered.

His fingers laced with yours as smiled down at him. His eyes were soft, unguarded and he smiled at you peacefully. For just a moment, you contemplated how bad it would really be to just forget for a few minutes, to let yourself indulge in the fantasy that everything was right. Aspen’s soft whimper broke the spell though, and you quickly pulled away from him, returning to your room to grab your now awake daughter.

You returned to the lounge a few minutes later, Aspen’s hands were clasped on yours, her feet on yours as you slowly shuffled back out. Bucky was wide awake now, a sad look on his face as he watched the two of you get ready for the day.

After breakfast with the others, you led the way back to the training yard. You’d had to swing back by your rooms to grab a few toys for Aspen, and by the time you’d got there Loki, Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three were already waiting for you. 

You passed Aspen over to Bucky, and with a deep sigh jogged over to the others, “I’m not going to like where this is going, am I?” 

Hogun grinned, “You may not, but we definitely shall.”

“Shouldn’t have missed training yesterday” Volstagg draped his arm over your shoulder. 

“Well that’s not fair, and you know it,” you muttered, ducking out from under Volstagg’s arm.

“Life isn’t fair” Sif laughed, throwing you your usual practice sword.

“So, how am I dying today?” you began to stretch, going through a few practice moves.

“Well, you’re going to try and defend yourself” you didn’t like the grin on Fandral’s face as he spoke, “Against all of us.”

“No, nope. Nuh-uh.” you stopped, “Not happening. Last time you idiots broke my leg, and do you know how hard it is to take care of a kid with a broken leg?”

“Come on, it’s good practice! Fights won’t always be one-on-one, [Y/N]” Sif grinned.

You smirked, “That’s right they won’t always be one-on-one. So let me pick a partner! Two of us against the rest.”

“That’ll be too easy, we’ve been fighting each other for years, it’ll defeat the whole purpose,” Thor argued.

You paused for a long moment, chewing on your lip as you thought before a grin lit up your face, “Then I pick Bucky! Then I don’t have to worry about you guys killing me, and it’s not cheating because only Thor’s really fought with him before.”

The others looked at each curiously, a silent conversation passing between them before Loki turned to you, “Fair enough, but what about Aspen?”

You muttered a curse under your breath, but before you could continue a familiar voice interrupted, “Perhaps I could watch her for a little?” Bitra offered.

Thanking her, you jogged back over to where Bucky was playing with Aspen. He hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation you’d been having and looked up at you, surprised.

“I need a favor” you started, the idea had been great but you hadn’t thought about the fact that it meant you’d have to actually fight side by side with Bucky for the first time since the breakup.

His eyebrows pulled together curiously as he studied your suddenly nervous expression, “What do you need, Doll?”

“I need a fighting partner and they said it can’t be one of them, so I was hoping you’d be willing to help?” you were bouncing lightly on the balls of your feet, half nerves, and half excitement.

Bucky got to his feet slowly, scooping up Aspen as he went, “I thought you didn’t trust me?”

You sighed softly, “Just because I don’t trust you not to break our hearts, doesn’t mean I’m not willing to trust you to have my back. I know you wouldn’t let something happen to us, okay?”

He nodded softly, “What about Aspen?”

Bitra had followed you over, and you quickly introduced them. Once Bitra had taken the little one from Bucky, she took up a seat on the edge of the room out of the way of any potential magic or weapons that could come flying. Bucky followed you back to the group and after a quiet round of introductions as Bucky warmed up, it was time to fight. The group had agreed that the two of you didn’t have to truly beat everyone to win, you just had to keep the fight going for ten minutes and for that you were eternally grateful. 

You tossed Bucky the other practice sword, a nervous grin on your face and turned to watch the others. It didn’t take long before the two of you were in the thick of it, making sure to stay close to one another at all times. Loki began to throw energy blasts your way, and your focus was split trying to block Sif’s blow and send a small force field to block Loki’s blast when you felt a familiar hand wrap around your arm. Bucky pulled you out of the way of Volstagg’s blow, and you shot him a grateful smile, throwing another force field at Loki as he tried to send a blast flying at Bucky. You fell into your old rhythm in no time, fighting around each other like you were a single person.

By the time seven minutes had passed, you and Bucky were breathing hard. Sure you could both hold your own during battle, but you were outnumbered three-to-one by some of Asgard’s best fighters. You’d managed to land some good blows though, Loki had taken a spill against the nearby wall when your last shield had hit him while he was distracted. 

When nine minutes rolled around, you were seriously drained. You’d used your powers too much, too fast and it had sapped a lot of your energy. With one last push, Thor and Hogun managed to separate you and Bucky. Cursing, the two of you fought to get back to one another. Right when Bitra called for time, Volstagg swung low, landing a heavy blow on your leg. You reacted without thinking, sending a force field into him, knocking him down and across the room. 

You were cursing loudly, unable to put any weight on your leg. Bucky began to head your way, planning on letting you lean on him, but Loki beat him there. Loki wrapped his arm around you, supporting your weight and holding you close. Bucky frowned and stood back, watching as you smiled at Loki, the two of you headed to the infirmary after a mumbled discussion with Thor and Bitra.

~~~~~~

At dinner that evening, Volstagg had apologized to you. He hadn’t realized that was the leg that had been broken previously. You’d let him sweat for a little while before you told him it was okay, the leg wasn’t re-broken just seriously bruised. You’d be fine in a day or two, so no hard feelings.

Bucky was quiet through dinner, even more so than yesterday. At first, you had brushed it off as just being tired, but it didn’t take you long to realize he got a little more upset every time your arm brushed against Loki’s or you laughed at him. Your eyes narrowed at the realization, and after testing your theory a few times you were sure. He didn’t react when you were touchier with Sif, Volstagg or Thor, but Bucky was being a sullen ass every time you were friendly with Loki.

When Bucky was distracted with Aspen, you leaned in close to Loki’s ear, your lips brushing his ear as you whispered, “Play along.”

Loki shot you a curious glance, and the game was afoot. You quickly became more hands-on with Loki, gentle touches here and there as you spoke, soft laughter at even his stupidest jokes. The rest of your table began to shoot you worried looks, and once you were sure Bucky wasn’t looking and the others were, you nodded your head once towards Bucky then winked. Smiles crept onto their faces as they began to understand what was going on. 

Fifteen minutes later, you reached out and played with Loki’s hand. Bucky got to his feet quickly and muttered he wasn’t feeling good, before passing Aspen to you and heading out. 

Lady Sif turned to you as soon as he was gone, “So, what was that all about?”

“Bucky’s being an ass” you shrugged, “I realized every time I basically talked to Loki he got more upset, so I figured I’d teach him a lesson. He needs to knock it off. He has no claim over me, not after what he did. Besides, if he’d listen to me, he’d know that we’re nothing more than siblings.”

“You know, you could tell him that you’re legally their sister” Fandrall offered.

A few months back, the three of you had decided to make your sibling relationship legal since you were all so close. Well, Thor had decided and convinced you and Loki, to be fair, it hadn’t taken long to convince either of you. You’d been feeling out of place at the time, and it had been Thor’s idea to make sure you knew you were permanently welcomed to the family. You had no claim to the throne or anything crazy like that, but as far as everyone was now concerned, you were their sister.

“I could” you smiled wryly, “Or, I could teach him a lesson about trust. Besides, not like he doesn't deserve just a little pain..."

Next Chapter ->

Find this story on AO3

#Marvel's The Avengers #marvel the avengers #marvels the avengers #Marvel #The Avengers #Avengers #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #Winter Soldier #Winter Soldier x Reader #Thor #Loki #Lady Sif #Warriors Three #Fanfics #Writing

[mss4msu]

Happy 100th Birthday Steven!

Summary: The Avengers decide to throw Steve a 100th birthday party.  The theme is throwback, but no one wanted to research the 1930s, so they decide to do the early 2000s. Cap is introduced to a new decade of culture, and he and Bucky are particularly taken by Lil John’s “Get Low”.

Words: 1871

A/N: This one goes out to @221bshrlocked because she hyped me up that this would be a hilarious idea. I’ve decided I’ll be making a series of “Steve and Bucky are introduced to various pop culture things that are dirty, but they don’t know that”. This one is fluffier than my fluffball of a dog (future ones may get smutty, who knows?).

“Alright gang, it’s Cap’s BIG birthday next week, so we should get started on planning his party.” Tony had called together a meeting of all the Avengers except for Sam, Bucky, and Steve to put together a surprise bash for Steve’s 100th birthday. You had all voted that telling either Sam or Bucky would mean the surprise would be ruined, so the trio was being kept in the dark.

“I still think we should have rented out the Natural History Museum so he could party with all the other fossils. That’d really be a throwback party,” Nat remarked. The group had also decided the theme of the birthday should be a throwback. Of course, you’d all been so busy on missions no one had had the time to research the early 1900s, so it was decreed that the early 2000s would be used instead.

“Well the old man wanted to have a low-key birthday, so I figured a large public space wouldn’t be a great place for that. I’m not trying to start another Civil War over a birthday.” Tony replied. “Rhodey has a busy week of ‘Iron Patriot’ appearances (it’s 4th of July, I’m not calling him War Machine), so he has divided up tasks for everyone. Bruce, Peter, and I are on decorations. Wanda and Vision, you can prepare the food. Clint and Scott, you’ll be in charge of keeping Steve, Bucky, and Sam busy day of so we have time to set up. Nat and (Y/N), you’re in charge of music. The guest list is just us; the Wakandans are busy doing outreach programs about cultural appropriation, which is fitting for this time of year, and Thor is on some other planet. Alright, everyone know what you’re doing? Great, then go do it!”

Everyone split up and spent the week secretly organizing everything for the party. You and Nat spent hours crafting the perfect Spotify playlist, not wanting to leave a single jam out. Finally, it was the day of the party. You woke up just in time to join Clint and Scott’s in the chauffeuring of Bucky, Sam, and Steve to the big Fourth of July parade. You knew you could slip out later to come back and help everyone set-up, but Steve had been asked to be the Grand Marshall of the parade and you wouldn’t miss it for the world.

“Happy Fourth of July!” you winked at Steve as you got in the car. He rolled his eyes at you, waiting for the follow up. You just stared at him in response for a few seconds, not wanting to give him satisfaction to early. “Oh right! And happy birthday Steve!”

“Thank you!!” he beamed. The parade lasted longer than you had hoped, but it was worth it to see Steve at the head of the parade, an embodiment of everything America should be, and slightly restoring your faith in the country.

“So, you guys want to go get ice cream?” Scott asked when you met up with Steve following the parade. “I know a Baskin Robbins nearby!”

“I actually have to head back guys, I forgot the sunscreen this morning, so my skin has become a very patriotic mix of white and red,” you replied. Although this seemed like an easy out to get back to the party preparations, you really had gotten a bit of a sunburn at that parade.

“We could give you frostbite and you’d be red, white, and blue!” Sam joked. You punched him on the arm and got a Lyft to pick you up.

You got back to the compound and couldn’t believe the quality of the decorations. Movie posters of the most iconic early 2000s films, like A Cinderella Story and She’s the Man, lined the hallways. Nokia bricks and Razr phones were hanging from the ceiling, their screens decorated with pictures of Cap. You couldn’t figure out who had taken the pic of Cap with listening to an iPod in a bubble bath, but you were so glad they had. The food tables were decorated in layers of denim, and you felt blessed that Britney and Justin had graced the world with that look.

Everyone was scrambling to finish their jobs, and you and Nat were putting the finishing touches on the playlist, when Scott texted that they were on their way back.

“Alright everyone, places!” Tony yelled, and you all crouched behind the furniture, with the exception of Peter, who had literally gone above and beyond by hiding on the ceiling.

“I know everyone says apple pie is American, but putting apple pie IN ice cream is really taking things to the next level!” you could hear Bucky chuckling as they walked down the hallway.

“What in Sam Hill is this?” The confusion in his voice made Natasha stifle a laugh and you realized he likely had no idea what he was walking into. You had been helping him go through his “things to catch up on” list and you were nowhere near the 2000s. This was going to be a crash course for him.

Steve flipped on the lights to the room and everyone sprung up and yelled, “SURPRISE!” He stumbled back slightly, the surprise working on him.

“Don’t have a heart attack there, old man,” Nat said, punching him on the arm and giving him a hug.

As everyone started enjoying the food and Nat turned the playlist on, you gave Steve and Bucky a tour of the 2000s .

“So what’s with the phones?” Bucky asked.

“Well, the Razr was the classic phone all the ‘cool’ kids had back in the day,” you winked at them, “and the Nokia is a phone noted for being unbreakable.”

“Unbreakable?” Bucky asked, raising his eyebrow at Steve. They both ripped a Nokia from the ceiling, and you yelled for everyone to gather around for a true test of strength. Steve tried with all his might, but even his super soldier strength was not enough for the brick. Bucky tried to break the phone, squeezing it between his metal fingers, but could not cause even a crack in the screen.

“Is Thor coming?” You heard Clint ask. “Maybe his hammer is worthy enough to break a Nokia.”

“Tony, we may have to talk to Nokia and see if we can use this tech in suits or something,” Bruce remarked, taking the phone from Steve.

As the playlist started playing the dancing songs, you and Nat cleared the dance floor, which you had decorated as a giant Dance Dance Revolution mat. Steve and Bucky watched as everyone took the dance floor and started doing the “Cupid Shuffle”.

“Get over here boys!” you yelled. They shook their heads no, so you ran to them, grabbed their arms and pulled them to the dance floor. “Look, it’s easy. It’s to the right to the right to the right to the right, to the left to the left to the left to the left, then you kick, kick, kick, kick, then walk it and turn to the next side!” They watched you, tripping over themselves, and slowly got the hang of it just as the song ended.

“We’ll need to practice that one again I think,” Steve huffed to you.

“You’re tired after that version? I’ve got a more advanced one that involves kicking and dropping it low,” you winked at him, making him blush.

“EVERYONE CLEAR THE FLOOR!” you heard Peter yell. “THIS IS MY SONG!” Everyone moved off the dance floor and cheered as Peter strutted his stuff to Rihanna’s “Umbrella”.

There was more dancing and fun-having when THE song you had been waiting for came on. “Nat, we should have moved this song up the playlist!” you yelled, turning the volume of the speaker all the way up, and sprinting to the middle of the dance floor.

“TO THE WINDOW!!!! TO THE WALL!!!!!! TILL THE SWEAT DROP DOWN MY BALLS!!!!! TILL ALL THESE BITCHES CRAWL!!!!” You screamed, busting a move.

Steve and Bucky stared at you with their jaws dropped.

“UM (Y/N)?” Steve yelled, “WHAT KIND OF SONG IS THIS???” You ignored him and kept dancing.

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO THE WINDOW AND TO THE WALL??” Bucky asked, looking at Steve and confusion and trying to figure out what made the wall better than the window and vice versa.

“AND WHY ARE YOU ANNOUNCING TO THE WORLD THAT THERE IS SWEAT DRIPPING DOWN YOUR BALLS?” Steve screamed, turning red from yelling and from the idea of discussing his privates so publicly.

You were too busy dropping that ass (hey!) and attempting to shake it fast (hey!) and popping that ass to the left and the right (hey!) to answer them. And they became too busy watching you do it to keep asking questions. Eventually they started singing along, Steve feeling all too pleased with himself when yelling “MOTHERFUCKER!”

By the time you were bending over to the front to touch your toes, Bucky was next to you, shaking his butt along to the beat. Steve and Bucky screamed out the last chorus, giggling as they yelled “SKEET SKEET SKEET.” You raised your eyebrow at Natasha, wondering if these two actually knew what “skeet” was, but you quickly forgot as Vision wheeled out a giant birthday cake covered in lit sparklers.

“The fire marshall told us that using 100 candles would be a fire hazard, so we decided to do 35 sparklers, because that’s how old you look,” he said dryly.

“That’s very kind of you, Vision.” Steve blushed.

“Even with super soldier strength, I don’t think you will be able to blow out the sparklers. Perhaps that was a mistake on our part,” Vision stated.

“It looks great, Vis!” Steve cheerily replied.

“Are you getting teary-eyed Cap?” Tony chuckled.

“I’m just very thankful to have all of you as friends and to have been given such a spectacular party. Skeet, skeet to you all!” He said, holding up a bite of cake in a cheers.

“Skeet, skeet!” Everyone replied back, holding back giggles.

For the next few weeks, any training session with Steve and Bucky was set to “Get Low.” You began to make a game out of it, and every time the “all these bitches crawl” lyric came on, you would stop everything, get on the floor, and start crawling towards them. They started having everyone run sprints from the window to the wall, and you regretted ever having introduced them to the song in the first place.

You all found redemption in their new use of the word “skeet”. Nat had convinced them that “skeet” was a new and improved version of “yeet,” and should be used in times of agreement or before doing exciting things. Steve began yelling “SKEET” before jumping off the Quinjet on missions, and Bucky would scream “SKEET” before punching out bad guys. He couldn’t figure out why the villains always got knocked out with a confused laugh. At this point, the joke had gone on for too long to tell them the truth of what “skeet” actually meant. Your only hope was to introduce them to a new catchphrase, and sooner rather than later, before they “skeet”ed the wrong person...

#marvel #happy birthday steve #happy birthday cap #captain america #steve rogers #fan fic #independence day #100th birthday

[elcorhamletlive]

fandom: MCU (Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron) (Post-Captain America: Civil War) ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark tags: Fluff and Angst/Angst with a Happy Ending/Character Study/Pining summary: The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.

#stony #stony fic #stevetony #stony fanfiction #stevetony fic #my fics #holy shit this is long lol #congratulations to anyone who actually reads it #otp: together #long post

[mysticalconundrum]

Updated my description a bit because I don’t really have a lot of info on what I actually do. I have some reblogs I’ve commented on but that’s about it. That said here’s more detail on the deities I’ve personally experienced and my experience of them.

Keep in mind I don’t godphone very well or very often, so these are more intuitive experiences. Sometimes I can communicate with them directly but it’s rare, usually only happening when around my godphoner friends or else in times of dire need. And of course I still don’t PHYSICALLY hear it. Also remember my experience with them may not reflect yours and that’s ok. We’re all polytheists here. Which of us is right is probably not really a concern to them so it shouldn’t be to us.

Prometheus - My homeboy, my patron. My example. It’s weird because usually I would advise against letting someone else tell you who your patron is or which gods you are best connected to, but Prometheus is a god that this person never talked about or really associated with until she brought Him up as my patron out of the blue. However I’ve only recently remembered and realized that this is actually the case and this ushered in a whole new chapter of my spiritual development. I distinctly remember my past life/True Self ™ swearing loyalty to Him and Him helping me get my life together back then. In that life I was a mess with anger issues so boy did I need it. He taught me about destroying evil by invalidating its accomplishments through doing good, rather than smiting it. Now here I am in this life learning about that relationship all over again and I am quite happy with it. I know one day I’ll be able to follow His example a lot better than I do now, but He’s pretty patient with helping me with things for the time being as most deities are! ... though on the topic of doing His will. Just know that if you’re a follower of Prometheus, altruism is going to be a burning part of your character whether you want it to be or not. I’ve paid so many friend’s rent over the years. Make it stop. T_T Prometheus Himself, in my experience, is really funny and enjoys some harmless fun using His precognition, and is absolutely full of wisdom. He is also very, very blunt, but in a way that is clearly not mean-spirited. Has quite a sweet tooth, likes cinnamon and pumpkin spice. Likes donuts in general. Cares very strongly for humanity growing and advancing on their own terms and that they have the right to do as they please with themselves as long as it’s not at the expense of others. Probably one of few who would endorse or at least be chill with humans becoming immortal on the physical plane. Is pretty down with transhumanism although He is VERY creeped out out by kind of a racist cult of his that is also big on that... 

Heimdall - Actually the first god I majorly interacted with on my own terms as opposed to doing it for someone else. Heimdall made His presence very clear early on in my paranormal journey and He was very clear in enforcing me to maintain my skepticism and reasoning and not be blinded by all the seemingly fantastic things beginning to happen. I distinctly remember Him coming in like a wrecking ball after me saying “Haha I don’t doubt anything at this point.” He’d be damned if I took that attitude and I am so thankful to Him for that. I was in a toxic friendship with someone whose spiritual experience was all out of whack and consumed by deception (either self deception or demonic, I couldn’t tell), and He was one of the reasons I began to see it for what it was. (I needed extra help from an angel friend of mine but that’s another story) Heimdall has always helped me see clearly and objectively in situations where it’s hard to, and I need to remember that He is always willing to help me with that. He asks for very little in return other than food offerings in the form of cheese, cheesy snacks like goldfish and cheezits, and bacon. Cheese and bacon in particular. Funny thing is I have never offered that combination to him but “cheese and bacon” comes out instinctively as I type. Probably should offer that. :)

Nyx - I don’t pray or offer to Her that much and I probably should. Nyx is incredibly calming, like a blanket wrapping around me. I don’t remember what drew me to Her but She was very happy to meet me. I used to have such a strong fear of the dark, but She makes me feel safe even in pitch black. If I think about Her in that moment, pray to Her, then I no longer fear the darkness. The darkness is Her, She is watching over me. She also does Her best to help me sleep at night when insomnia is wracking my body and my mind is eating itself, although it’s hard for me to maintain my end of the connection when i’m like that. I need to remember to reach out to Her more often. Nyx is so soft spoken yet just a look speaks volumes. I also know she likes coffee-- that’s the main thing I offer to Her and She seems to appreciate it very much. Sometimes I call her VoidMom and She gets a kick out of it.

Those are my top 3, but there are a few others prominent in my life...

Ryuujin - The only Shinto deity I’ve ever interacted with. Still a connection I should explore since I honestly haven’t prayed to Him much or gone to Him over anything really. From what of His personality I’ve gleaned, He seems to have a similarly jovial and sly demeanor to Prometheus. (In fact, I sense some sort of relationship between the two, but I’m not totally sure). He’s also so massive that if I were to physically see Him in the distance, He would take up a lot of the sky. Loves puns apparently. That just now popped into my head. Oh dear.

Persephone - Patron (Matron?) of one of my close friends and a powerful influence on myself as well. She started reaching out to me when I started work and she seems to still be keeping a careful eye on me. Swings from very friendly to very intense in seconds. Will absolutely kick your ass if you need it, and will not leave you alone if you’re having any problem She feels She can help you with. Not much more to tell, need to make more time for Her though.

Loki - I SWEAR TO GODS I KEEP MEETING PEOPLE WHO HAVE SOME KIND OF CONNECTION TO HIM. My experiences with Him generally involve-- as I said -- meeting people who are close with Him, Him making crass jokes using oracle cards -- and Him cheering me up every now and then when i really need it, or Him helping make the best of a bad situation. (for all my salt, thank You a lot for that.) In my experience His sense of humor comes across more deadpan and dry than you would expect, but I just don’t think He likes laughing at His own jokes. Either that or so crass and juvenile that you would not expect it to be funny, but it swings right back to being funny. Likes His manowar song, although I sense not entirely a fan of some of their other work. Shockingly a fan of his MCU portrayal outside of the first Thor. Also again I sense some sort of relationship with Prometheus, which would... make a lot of sense, but I’m not going to pretend I know the gods’ history. Typos me up because he styles on me. - Loki 2017

Set - Another older connection but haven’t really interacted much lately. Seems similar to Loki albeit much more understated in personality. Not how He used to be apparently but grew into that. Wildly different to me than He is in egyptian mythology, He seems more like a shadow man with a Gengar grin than... whatever the hell animal He’s supposed to be. Claims He lost that head and had to grow a new one but that was probably a joke.

Selene - Once again, Patron (matron?) of a very close friend and usually someone I go to for the sake of that friend. Her closeness with Nyx helps too. She feels to me like someone who just brightens a room by walking into it, so upbeat and cheerful that you practically feed off of it. Also sense quite a sense of humor about Her (I seem to be drawn to such dieties), although haven’t experienced much of it personally.

Dionysus - Dion I can comfortably say has a bond of some sort with Prometheus because I sense a strong trust between them. As I described with Loki as well, my experience with Dion mainly involves Him knowing how to make the best of a bad situation, throw some unexpected fun into mine or my friends lives’, and also praying to Him before a rave seems to make sure that the rave is lit. I don’t go to Him that much anymore but I respect Him highly and am greatful to Him for what He’s done for me in the past.

Aries - Much like Persephone, this one will kick your ass in gear. Particularly if you have personal struggles you need to resolve or wrongs that need righting. In my experience it seems He focuses more on standing your ground and facing your personal struggles with passion and ferver than He does on actual war and bloodshed. He does not take those things lightly and would just as soon You avoid actual violence if at all possible, although if it is unavoidable oh boy will He help with that. Super intense even when He’s calm. Doesn’t entirely mind villainous portrayals of Him as long as they aren’t sexist or compared too much with a certain someone.  Appropriately enough, He shares patronship with the same person who is also patroned by Persephone.  Still not on entirely good terms with Athena. Which, of course, brings me to....

Athena - Stood out to me very quickly as soon as she came up in conversation and I haven’t really investigated that connection yet. Very, very quiet, even to people who do godphone. Once again I know she has a history with Prometheus since even mythology says she aided him with His fire scheme. I really don’t have much else to say about Her but it’s good to know She seems to be watching me.

I think I’ve noticed a trend where I’m drawn to deities that have a humorous bent to them but also a highly protective one. You can see those in varying degrees in every single one. Maybe that’s because my own personality has those qualities and I do believe you are naturally drawn to deities you have traits in common with. Also ones that have a history with your patron. Either way I hope all of the above gods will take my long ramble as a devotional act because boy did it help me reconnect. :)

#polytheism #spiritiuality #greek mythology #norse mythology #shinto mythology #loki #dionysus #prometheus #selene #set #nyx #persephone #heimdall #athena #ares #ryuujin