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gentlyweeps-world · 3 months

Text

the truth

summary: Lance knew he fell hard, he knew he’d always come back to you, but he didn’t know how you felt.

pairing: lance stroll x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption | suggestive tones

genre: angst-fluff | lowkey toxic situationship

notes: inspired by the arctic monkeys “do I want to know” | I felt that lance needed more attention so here’s a small little fic 🫶

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

Lance was fucked. He’d never been in a “stable” or really long term relationship.

But when he saw you- when he first laid eyes on you, he fell in love.

He didn’t know a lot about you, you kept a lot of secrets, you kept him on his toes- not that he minded.

He dreamt of you often, almost every week. He knew he needed you in his life, he knew he needed to do something, to make you realize just how deep in you were with him- even if you truly weren’t.

There was a song that reminded him of you, he played it often, whenever it was a GP weekend, whenever he was traveling and definitely whenever he would go to sleep.

One night- the one where you actually hung out. He invited you over for dinner and wine.

It was a great night, all except the fact he accidentally spilt wine on you because he was so nervous.

“Oh shit- I’m so sorry..” Lance says, flushing up in embarrassment as he tries to help clean up the mess.

It was an honest mistake. You didn't care much, because you saw how nervous he was, the fact he felt embarrassed was sweet.

You looked back at him, smiling the sweetest smile you had, "No worries at all, I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

“Right- okay, uhm do you want to go on a walk?”

So you two went on a walk, it was a nice chilly night, the stars shining with the moon out.

He had noticed you were shivering so he offered you his jacket, which of course you accepted.

Wrapped up in the warmth of his coat you two eventually walked back to his place.

You both stood there in front of his place, smiling shyly, you both lean into a kiss.

As you two kissed, you felt Lance's fingers in your hair, brushing away any strands that had gotten in the way. At the touch of your lips, you could feel the passion within him.

When you two broke off, he looked a bit flustered, "Do you want to stay the night?" He whispered, a smile on his face that would make your heart burst.

Your eyes widened at his suggestion, you softly pull away. “No I’m sorry I can’t- I should actually go..” You said, suddenly turning and walking away without another word.

He was sad to see you go, he had hoped you would’ve stayed, hoped that you would have taken up his offer.

But maybe it was too much, he did get caught up in the moment, really it was too late at night for him to think about it.

Although that was a lie, he stayed up thinking of you, stayed up thinking of your hand against his, your lips against his.

He was busy falling for you, too busy to care about anything or anyone else.

So he did the only logical thing a person would do in that situation, he came crawling to you.

It was late one night, nearly 1 am, you had stumbled into your flat drunkenly.

You spent the night drinking away any thoughts or feeling towards Lance at a local bar, too scared to admit anything to him or yourself.

You heard the knock at your door, you knew it was Lance. You knew what he wanted.

He wanted to know if you felt the same, if you loved or even just liked him back.

Although he knew the truth, or at least part of it.

He knocks another time, your heart was beating as you knew what he wanted.

As he stood there waiting, he asked himself, do I really want to know?

You couldn't help but think about the way he looked at you, how his voice had slightly dropped since he had met you, how gentle he had been when you kissed.

He knocked a third time, you took a deep breath and opened the door, he was there, waiting patiently.

“Do you feel the same?”

Those five words broke you. You knew you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t be with him.

You didn’t want to tell him, you didn’t want him to know the truth.

But he needed to know.

“No”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

radio 🪩: I was just in a silly goofy mood!! I you guys enjoyed this! let me know if you want more or have any requests!

don’t be shy to ask to be put on the taglist 💙

permanent taglist: @cixrosie @amajixi @i-wish-this-was-me @nelly187 @hannahwsworld @sltwins

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wayfayrr · 5 months

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I see your human!reader and raise you: the Chain struggling to find food they can actually eat, reader feeling terrible and maybe a bit like a burden because of it, and getting into a dangerous situation in order to make it up to them

Source: the Owl House :)

I'm so sorry that this took so long to answer!! I've been quite busy recently but while I haven't watched the owl house I hope this does what you wanted justice, it got out of hand the more I wrote!!! I've heard it's great I just don't really watch shows :( Fair warning this got way more angsty then I planned for it too, with reader being pretty flippant about their own safety than they really should be, there's a brief not very detailed description of gore too. (it's also fairly wars centric towards the end)

[masterlist]

“[Name]! So wind and I’ve just been to the village right? I think I’ve finally found something I can cook that you should be able to eat! It was quite expensive but I’m sure it’ll be worth it for you!”

“We looked around for ages, so if you can’t eat this then there might not be anything in Hyrule that you can eat!”

Wind means well with what he’s saying; I know that Wild does too, they don’t mean to make me feel bad - I think they don’t anyway. Not like they really need to try with how much of a burden to them I am. Buying expensive supplies just for me? When they’re already struggling to afford their own basic supplies, now I’m just adding unnecessary costs for them. Don’t get me started with the looks of pity they give me either.

“Thank you both but, please don’t go spending so much on me.”

“But we have to find something you can eat, you’ll just be a… It’s not good for you to starve!”

That - that’s the closest any of them have gotten to saying it outright, they really do just see me as a burden - they aren’t even trying to hide it now. No wonder I’ve always been kept to the side in any fights, Hyrule can’t heal me so I’d just be deadweight if I got hurt, I can’t fight like they can really all I’m good for is as a meat shield to defend them from magic. “Hey [name], are you alright? You zoned out a bit there…”

“Oh, yeah I just - I think I just need to have some time alone if that’s alright? I’ll make sure to stay in distance of the camp.”

“As long as you’re careful and not there too long, I’m sure it’s fine. I’ll tell the others for you.”

I hope he doesn’t.

He seemed content with how I nodded at him, so I should be in the clear to go and just vanish for a while even if it’s just to pretend I’m not causing them issues for a little while.

It doesn’t feel like it takes me long to get to a nice place to sit, so it should still be pretty close to camp - not that they should be worried for me. Somewhere nice and open to sit next to a gentle babbling brook, it’s calm and I’m alone, everything I need at the moment.

Shit - how did I not see a sleeping lynel!? No no, not now I don’t even have a weapon! … What if I did kill it though - their parts can be sold for a fortune… I could pay my way and prove I’m not just useless. Even if I don’t - well they won’t have to worry about me in that case.

It hasn’t seemed to notice me yet, maybe there’s a chance I can come back from it. If I just stay low and as silent as I can then I should be able to jump it.

Stay quiet, take its weapon. Wow, that’s a lot lighter than Wild makes it out to be. Now to just - Just go for its neck! I - I actually managed to slit its throat!

IT’S STILL ALIVE!?

Okay. OKAY! Its movements are sluggish and it seems to be bleeding out so just get away from it -

Why - why can’t I feel my arm properly? Why is my shoulder so wet all of a -! The pain hit harder than a truck every nerve on my left side feels like it’s being set ablaze, there wasn’t a single hope of keeping in the scream I just let out, one I didn’t even realise had ripped its way from my throat. Tilting my head down to see the cause; suddenly my body feeling nothing but raw visceral pain suddenly makes a lot more sense than before. The stupid thing cut half through my shoulder with my arm now hanging limply by my side.

“[NAME]! WHAT ARE YOU DOING - YOU’VE BEEN MISSING FOR HOURS - WHAT Did you - [name]!?”

Wars is here..? Didn’t Wild say I was going off for a bit? Why would he be looking for me? I can’t be worth so much that he’d go off on his own to look for me.

“Oh goddesses [name] what - no, no, no stay awake, you’ve got to stay with me darling.”

“‘m awake… ‘m - still ‘ere…”

Is that really what I sound like right now… I sound so slurred… like - like how people on tv sounded when they were. Oh.

I’m bleeding out and delirious then, no wonder Wars is ‘here’, he’s just my brain giving me one last happy memory before I kick the bucket. Isn’t that wonderful, to spend my last moments hallucinating my unreciprocated crush caring for me. Closing my eyes feels all too easy, even when I’m about to drift off it still feels as if he’s holding me, maybe this won’t be too bad?

“[Name] don’t you DARE close your eyes, you - I’m not losing anyone else I care about - I can't lose you… I haven't even-”

A harsh slap to the face after a shaky breath - one that feels all too real - has me reconsidering things, the feeling of something tears dropping onto my face is the thing that finally has me opening my eyes despite how hard it is to do so.

“I - I have some bandages, a potio- no that’s not going to help you I’ve got bandages I just need you to talk to me while I use them, so I know you aren’t close to passing out. You’re going to make it out of this - I need you to make it out of this.”

The agony of him adjusting my arm to bind it, well it’s proof that I am still very much alive. If he really wants me to talk… well then I might as well try to get some answers out of him.

“Why - why ‘re you - wh’ ‘d you come lookin’ fr me?”

“You - vanished for hours without a word, did you really think none of us would get worried? Even if none of the others would, I will always come for you.”

“Hm’ wild said he w’s gonna tell the rs’ o’ you… b’sides ‘m just a burden ‘nt I? Wil’ pretty muh said i’.”

“...Wild. but why would he risk - he wouldn’t put you in the… Don’t worry about what wild says he’s lying, you’re not a burden, even if you were. You’re one I would choose to carry every day for the rest of my life without a single regret. Don’t let what he says get to you, darling.”

Murderous, that’s the best way I could hope to describe the look on his face, it’s like he wants wild dead. His bandages seem to have stopped the bleeding though, so while I still feel lightheaded I should live as long as the wound doesn’t get infected.

“Wai’ why’r you callin’ me darlin’? ‘M not - you’r…”

A little smirk crossed his face then barely lasting long enough for me to just notice it before it was replaced by concern, did I forget something, I mean it’s not impossible that I also hit my head right? Right?

“But you’re my partner, honeybee, we’ve been together for a few days now - you - you can’t have forgotten that right? If that’s the only price for you surviving, I mean we can always just make better memories. You - You’re still alive and that’s the most important thing.”

Well that’s not impossible, I know I’ve had feelings for him for a while so if he did ask I would’ve said yes…

“We can remake the memories later after you recover. You know I’m so glad that human blood flows slower than ours, those precious few extra seconds are literally lifesaving.”

He’s just babbling to himself now, must’ve been stressed over me; now that I’m safer it’s all just draining out of him. The way he’s clinging to me and shaking shows that fairly well too, like he doesn’t plan to let me out of his arms for a long while.

“Please never do this ever again, I don’t even know what you were planning but you could’ve died [name], you could’ve died and I wouldn’t have had a chance to say goodbye. Please you have to explain why when you’re better. Please promise me you’ll tell me why.”

“I will Wars, I swear.”

“...That’s all I needed to hear, thank you darling.”

#linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #link x reader #humans are space orcs #kinda #feels appropriate still <3 #this is the heaviest angst I've written so far lol #moss✦writes #lu warriors x reader #lu warriors #yandere link

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shmolish · 28 days

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https://www.tumblr.com/shmolish/746176844034981888/sick-shadow-milk-cookie-x-reader?source=share

One shot idea since I got a guess aaaaand I just wanna see your version but I'm curious if shadow milk would ACTUALLY be like this or no? If not I wanna see how he actually acts buuut just to show you my guess on what shadow milk is like:

Shadow milk when he is sick: lalala! I'm perfectly fine! Just cuddle me and I'll be okie dokie, darling! Hehehe! Never stop the fun! (Or short meme version: I sleep)

Shadow milk when y/n is sick: bed, soup, medicine, love, sleep, now! Can't have my beloved feeling all icky! No playtime, only naptime! Sleepytime! You get all the cuddles you want if it helps you sleep but no games, just relax and drink your soup! (Second part of meme version: real shit)

Tldr: shadow milk when he is sick treats it like a joke and a game and not serious...he stops treating illnesses like a joke the moment his s/o gets sick. Think he is gonna joke around when his s/o feels like shit? Nope, he is keeping his s/o relaxed and napping and constantly giving them their favorite soup until he is 100% sure the sickness is out of their system!

AN: I'm pretty sure both of you suggested similar things, which was a shadow milk cookie x sick reader. Been waiting to do this one!!

Shadow Milk Cookie x Sick! Reader

Oneshot (Headcanons below)

Warnings: (Kinda a part two to the sick shadow milk cookie, so some parts might be a little confusing.) One dirty joke 😔 (I couldn't resist, sry)

-Take Care-

"I just have to spend some time alone, haha. Nothing out of the ordinary!" You would say with an awkward smile.

Shadow Milk Cookie would look at you with an unbelieving look.

"Doll, you're not a very good liar," He'd say while crossing his arms.

"Come on, just- for like a few days?"

"A few days? How am I supposed to live without you for a few days when I can't even live without you for a few hours!?"

Shadow Milk Cookie would put a hand on his forehead, feigning a dramatic pose.

"But seriously. What's wrong?" He cupped your face and look at you with those concerned eyes.

The eyes you were in love with, and the eyes that you didn't want seeing your weak and sickly state.

Your face was was much warmer than usual, but he didn't think much of it.

"Ah, could it be-? You just don't like my company!"

"No! It's not that!" You would refute quickly, backing away from him.

"Then what's wrong? Come on dove, you know you can tell me anything."

You sneezed shortly after that, but didn't say anything.

Everything clicked in that moment for Shadow Milk Cookie.

"Oh. My. Goodness. YOU'RE SICK! I'VE GOTTEN MY BELOVED DOVE SICK!"

He would instantly start panicking, beginning to look around the house for different types of medicine and other things that might come in handy.

"It's not really that bad- I can take care of myself..."

He would pick you up bridal style and take you to a couch, wrapping blankets around you.

"My little doll shouldn't need to lift a finger while they're sick. Please, allow your favorite jester to do the work for you!"

He kept digging through cabinets for medicine and ingredients for a soup he'd eventually end up making.

"How come you're taking my sickness so seriously when you didn't even take care of yourself last time?"

He came back with a bunch of ice packs, like.. twenty of them. You didn't even own twenty ice packs.

"Why wouldn't I take your illness seriously? I must make sure that you are safe and happy at all times, and I can't do that if you feel icky."

He offered one of the icepacks to you, which you accepted and just held for a while.

"I don't need this many ice packs, Milk," you would tell him.

"You can never be too sure! And of course, I offer my 200% when it comes to my most beloved."

"I don't even own this many ice packs."

"Now you do! ...Don't look into it that much."

He skipped off to the kitchen again, looking as cheerful as ever.

Of course, it was just a facade. Internally, he was panicking. He barely knew how to care for himself, and now you were sick. What if you died?! Okay, he was probably overreacting, but normal cookies are so fragile. That's why he had to do everything in his power to keep you healthy.

He didn't know what was and wasn't needed, so he just took a lot of everything.

Came back with one of each medicine type that you owned.

"So uh, which one is the one you need?"

You pointed to one of the bottles, and Shadow Milk swiftly measured the correct dosage.

"Alright, so I got you an ice pack, blankets, and you took medicine. What else do you people do while sick?" He would ask while putting a hand on his chin.

"I don't know. Normally they eat soup," you told him.

"That's right! You are so smart, button. Alright, I'll do just that, then." He gave you a kiss on the forehead before wandering off into the kitchen.

Did he even know how to cook? You've never seen him try before, but he's lived for so long, that surely he knew how to... right?

Oh well, he did eventually end up coming back with the food. It actually ended up looking edible.

"Ta-da~ It looks amazing, right? Of course it does! It was made my yours truly." He sat down on the couch next to you, scooping up some soup in a spoon.

"Now, say 'ah'" He held the spoon infront of your mouth, waiting to feed you.

"I'm not doing that."

"Yes you are. Now open your mouth before I shove the spoon down your throat."

"You can shove something else down my throat."

"Haha, very funny. But maybe when you're feeling better~"

Eventually, after a lot of back and forth, you ended up finishing the soup. It wasn't half bad, actually.

Now, the both of you were cuddling on the couch. A movie was playing in the background, and Shadow Milk Cookie was resting his head in your lap.

"Doll, how come you didn't tell me you were sick sooner?" He would ask.

"I just didn't want to be a burden, I suppose."

"You would never be a burden to me. There's a reason I treat you so much better than the others, and it's because I care for you. I know I'm all about deceit and stuff, but this is the honest truth, okay darling?"

You couldn't help the smile on your face. "Okay."

《☆》 Fin

Headcanons

He's panicking 24/7

Even if you tell him you don't want to get him sick, he says he doesn't care

Everything has to be ready for you, and you have to be comfortable

Absolutely no chance of you going out that day

Legit coddles you or is always near you

Even if it's just a small cough, he's canceling all of the things you have that day

Bro is so paranoid

If you're ever bored he performs small puppet shows for you

Makes you go to bed early

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thatfreshi · 7 months

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"Unlucky Draw" (Uni AU p. 15)

There's finally some fluff guys!!!!!!!!!

tw - anxiety, discussion of weed

Since Halsin's little break-up escapade happened, you actually do get the chance to see Astarion later that night. As of recent, he's been throwing himself into his thesis project more and more, to the point where most of your time hanging is spent with him looking through books and asking 'do you think this sounds right?'

"You know you can take a break, right?"

"I could, you're right, but then I'd just be wasting time. And I'm not allotted much time to work on this."

The two of you are comfortably sprawled across his mattress, like teenagers at a sleepover. You roll over and shut his laptop.

"C'mon, you've been staring at that paper for like two hours."

"And what else should I do, my darling Tav? Maybe stare at the ceiling in silence? Or scroll mindlessly on my phone until I don't feel like moving anymore?"

"Ugh, no! I don't know, take a coffee break. You're probably not going to sleep anyways."

Your best friend almost looks peaceful like this, wrapped in a cozy sweater and sweatpants, always wearing long socks because he gets cold too easily. You find yourself lingering on the thought longer than normal, wishing he could feel that comfortable warmth all the time, wondering it might be like to share in it.

"Tav, are you listening? God, maybe we should just stare at the ceiling in silence."

"Sorry, just spacing out. What were you saying?"

"I was saying, how I should probably cut back on the caffeine."

"Really? Astarion Barista Ancunín, are you turning your back on your beloved espresso machine?"

"Look, I'm not happy about it, but I've been far too anxious as of late. My nerves are on fire constantly, jumping at every little noise I hear. It's irritating, to say the least."

"I thought being caffeinated was how you dealt with the insomnia though?"

"Oh it very much is, which will become a problem soon enough, but I just can't be this nervous constantly."

It's something that you've definitely noticed, how quiet and fidgety he's become recently.

"You considered smoking weed? I know Gale says it helps him zen out, especially when it comes to art stuff."

"Nope, makes me paranoid."

"Damn, unlucky draw I guess."

"You're telling me. I smoked one time back in high school, couldn't sleep for hours, kept thinking someone was out to get me or something."

You start to get lost in the peace of the moment again, the fact that you're able to talk about shit that doesn't matter, how the light from the bedside lamp hits his eyes just right...

"Are you alright? You seem, out of it."

"Sorry, just thinking about what Halsin said to me."

"I can't believe he just broke things off like that, without a reason."

You swallow hard.

"He, he said it's because he thinks you like me? And that he doesn't want to get in the way of that?"

There's silence for a moment, that you jump to fill.

"But that's not true right? We're just friends, I don't know where he would've gotten that idea from."

"Right, I don't know either... sounds like you dodged a bullet with him."

"Yeah, probably so."

God, has he always looked like this? Damn Halsin, damn all those things he said, damn Gale for even playing into it. You remind yourself that Astarion's right, that this doesn't need to get any more complicated than it already is, that he has enough on his plate.

"Now, am I allowed to go back to my thesis now? Or do I need to have more mandatory break time?"

You playfully sigh.

"I guess you can do productive things or whatever."

"Well, in that case would you like to come read what I have?"

"I'll look at it, but you have the cool narrator voice, you have to read it to be like a professional author."

He rolls his eyes, and you go to sit next to him, looking at the thousands of words he's typed at this point. Astarion starts to read it out loud, editing tiny things as he goes, forever a little perfectionist. After a while, the voice becomes too soothing, and you fall asleep there next to him, letting your head hit his shoulder.

"Tav?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you knocked out, clearly exhausted. He doesn't stop reading though, worried if he does that he'll somehow ruin the sleep he's let you stumble into. So he spends the rest of the night rereading out loud and talking to himself, occasionally asking you things that you don't answer. After many hours pass, and the wee hours of the morning arrive, along with the clock turning to say five AM, he puts his laptop aside, and asks you one final question.

"Why do you insist on pulling my heartstrings the way you do?"

And it falls on your sleeping ears, never truly getting through.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #fluff #x reader #freshiau #gale of waterdeep #halsin

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angelltheninth · 2 years

Text

Mutual Satisfaction

Pairing: Angel Dust x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, masturbation, fingering, handjob, voyeurism, brief blowjob, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, hair-pulling

Word count: 1.3k

Kinktober Day 3: Masturbation

A/N: I didn't know what do for this kinktober prompt for the longest time and then, as usual, it the idea hit me right as I was about to go to sleep.

You knew that Angel was living in a slightly shady part of the Pentagram and honestly you were a little scared when your boss Valentino asked you to go check up on him since he hasn't been to work in a few days.

It wasn't because the Overlord was worried, well he was but not really about Angel's physical wellbeing, at least not for the right reasons, he just didn't want his biggest star to be out of commission for long. So who else to send than his second biggest star?

You let out a heavy sigh as you finally walked up the stairs and turned into the hallway Angel's apartment was located in. You've gotten a few looks on your way to the building but you knew very well that no demon would actually dare tough you. Not with you being Valentino's second favorite.

You knock on the door once, twice. No answer. Maybe there's something really wrong with him?

Slowly you try the door handle. The door opens with a low, sad creaking noise. The inside of his apartment is surprisingly tidy, a lot more then you expected actually. Then again Angel always kept his appearance in top shape so it was only natural that his apartment was at least clean. If in need of some repair here and there, but overall much nicer looking than the rest of the building.

Still no sign of Angel Dust though, only his cute demon piglet sleeping on the couch.

Maybe he was in his bedroom, you could see a dim light coming from somewhere so you decided to take slow steps just in case he really was feeling unwell and you were disturbing him.

You only took a few steps before you heard his familiar voice, high pitched and in thorns of pleasure, like you heard him in the Studio or his movies. Did he have someone over?

You approached even slower, sneaking towards the door and peaking through. He didn't have anyone over, but he was naked. On his bed, on his knees sucking a dark pink dildo and jerking off his dick, a pool of cum already on the sheets. His eyes were shut closed and he moaned as he pulled the dildo out with a wet pop, "Shit. Fuck yes."

His little moans, the sight of him, the fact that he was clearly enjoying himself that damn much send a wave of wetness between your legs. Your hand found a way between your legs, almost as if hypnotized by the sight. It was wrong to get off on him like this, you knew that, but you couldn't help but slide down the wall, on the opposite side of the open door so you could still see him and slide a finger inside yourself, biting your lip as you felt your walls closing in around your finger.

With your other hand you hiked up your shirt and bra, palming at your left breasts, rolling your nipple into a hardened peak, all the while still watching Angel's hand rub his dick up and down and trying to keep up pace with him.

You could feel your body heating up fast, watching him was in person was much more of an experience then seeing him on video. "Fuck. Ah!" You bit your lip to stifle your moan, your head thudding against the wall as you plunged your fingers in and out, obscene, wet noises following every movement.

"Well what do we have 'ere?" Your eyes snapped open only to meet Angel's own as he leaned against the doorframe, his cock still hard in his hand and a knowing smile on his face, "Here for a free show sweetheart? Or maybe yer lookin' ta give me one?" His eyes lowered to between your legs. You closed them quickly, your ears burning and your hands suddenly still.

"I-I'm sorry! Mister Valentino sent me and- I should have said something when I came-"

"Ya haven't come yet doll, but ya look like yer close. It just so happens that I am too. So why stop know?" He winked at you and walked up to you until his dick was inches from your face, his hand resuming the up and down motion from before, "Go on, I ain't mad. I know for a fact that yer hot stuff. I've seen yer movies before, gotta support my fellow sluts."

Encouraged by his words you added another finger, eyes going up and down his body. Now you could see that his short fuzz was slightly damp from the sweat, but he still smelled very sweet, like cherries and strawberries.

He was like a walking, talking aphrodisiac.

"Damn. Yer like a bitch in heat. Just look at that cunt taking those fingers. Not surprised. I've seen how much ya can take. Yer so pretty ya know that? Ya got a real talent." His eyes lower to your breasts, "And such pretty tits. Let me help ya out." One of his hands tangled into your hair, fisting into it lightly, one rubbing over the angry tip of his cock every time he stroked his length and the fourth reached down and cupped your other tit, rolling the pad of his finger around your stiff nipple.

"Pinch it." You breathe out as you arch into his touch. Angel chuckles and does as you asked, slowly rolling the stiff bud between his thumb and index finger. "Like that. I-I'm close. Fuck. Oh!"

"I know sweetheart, I know. Show me. Show me how sexy you are when you come on your fingers." You mewled at his words, doubling your efforts, driving the heel of your palm against your clit with every flick of your wrist. It only took a few more strokes for you to reach your peak, shouting it out with no shame or any need to hold back. You pushed your fingers deep inside, keeping them in your tightening, repelling walls as they spasmed and twitched. "I'm close too! Open up doll, open up for me, take your reward."

Without thinking you opened your mouth wide, tongue falling out to catch thick, hot ropes of cum he shoot out, some of it getting on your face from the close proximity.

Angel growled through his release. His hand left your breast and joined the other in your hair. The next thing you knew you were tasting his cock as it made it's way into your mouth, making you moan in surprise.

"It's so warm. So wet. I usually charge more to ladies but, damn ya can suck me off whenever ya want if this is a taste of what ya can do. Yer being a very good little slut right now, yeah ya are. Yer doing such a good job." He bucked his hips quickly and with no rhythm at all, making you gag every time you felt the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat.

When you finally felt him start to pull out you made sure to suck a little bit extra around his tip, which made him hum and gently pat your head.

"I made a little mess of ya eh?" Angel grinned down at you as he offered you his hand to help you up. You accepted, but realized too late that it was with your cum covered hand.

"Oh, sorry about that." You pulled away trying to wipe it off on your shirt. Angel just chuckled and shook his head.

"I've seen far nastier sweetheart. Now come on, let's go wash up yeh? Then ya can tell me what Val wanted from me. I told him I'd be back in a few, just needed ta get something sorted out with two crazy chicks I've met. One of them had the craziest idea for a hotel I've ever heard. It's gonna crack ya up when ya hear 'bout it." Angel laughed as he led you by the hand to through his bedroom and into the small shower to tell you all about the crazy hotel idea.

It really was crazy. A hotel to redeem sinners? Who was stupid enough to try that?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #angel dust #angel dust x reader #angel dust imagine #angel dust smut #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel fanfiction #kinktober

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leatherluxe · 7 months

Text

whumptober day 1

Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

When they got back down to the ship – well, when they crashed back down to the ship – Rooster could hardly feel his limbs out of terror. He couldn’t quite brace himself for the net to catch them and stop them so abruptly, and his head slammed first into Mav’s seat and then the back of his own.

It wouldn’t even register, though, because suddenly he was on the ground, or something like it, and he was climbing out of the plane. And then there were so many hands, grabbing onto him and in his hair and pulling him down and pushing him through the crowd.

Then amazing, beautiful, wonderful Phoenix was in front of him and he never wanted to let go of the hug she pulled him into. But then she’s letting go and stepping back and then he’s turning and then there’s Jake.

Jake Seresin is right there.

Jake Seresin, Hangman, golden eye of Apollo and flying prodigy of Hermes, is right in front of him after saving his life and he’s putting out his hand as if Bradley doesn’t want to crash into his arms.

But he doesn’t. He takes a step back and shakes Hangman’s hand and trades goddamn quips.

And the adrenaline is so high, and then he’s being turned around again and now it’s his uncle in front of him and this time Bradley does crash into his arms.

Bradley kind of blacks out after that. It’s dizzying, the commotion and celebration and camaraderie. At some point he looks up and he’s in a hallway, being ushered along with Mav and Jake to God-knows-where.

Turns out it was the infirmary, because now there’s a medic in front of him shining a light in his eyes and saying that he doesn’t have a concussion.

The same medic, minutes or hours later, is signing a paper and shoving a pen in Bradley’s hand and then he’s out the door with a cheerful, “You’re cleared!”

And suddenly Rooster’s in a dark hallway all alone, and it’s the first silence he’s heard in days.

It’s broken by his own bootsteps as he shuffles towards what he assumes is his bunk. The ship would still be on the water until the next day, and it felt important to lie down. Or at least take off his shoes. Stumbling through the ship was getting embarrassing, even if he was alone. Really, when did this ship get so unstable?

He reached his door after only getting turned around once, which he counted a success. He heard shuffling behind the door and figured Bob had gotten tired of the rec rooms and come back to their bunks.

Upon opening the door, though, he was met with both the first and last person he ever wanted to see.

“Seresin? Fuck are you doing?”

Jake seemed startled, like it wasn’t Bradley’s fucking room that he was poking around in. For whatever reason.

“Uhh, I sleep here?”

“No you–this is my room!” Bradley stopped short because as he looked around it dawned on him. It wasn’t Bradley’s fucking room. And the walls just kept fucking swimming and the floor kept fucking tilting and now Bradley was confused.

And then he was swaying forward just a little too fast and Jake rushed forward. It was almost ironic, considering not even six hours ago Bradley had wanted to crash into Jake’s arms. Now he really was crashing.

“Rooster! Shit! I gotcha, come on, sit down, what the hell…” Jake was basically shoving Bradley onto the lower bunk, and he sat down with less grace than was appropriate for a grown man used to being on a ship. Everything was spinning, and he finally registered the pounding at his temples and the pain in the back of his skull.

Jake squatted down in front of Bradley and waved in front of his face.

“Bradley, do you know where you are right now?”

“Well I’m trying to be in cabin 354. With Bob, not some fucking white knight.”

Jake’s face pinched like he wanted to laugh but was too worried. “White knight? No, actually, not the important thing. You’re in cabin 345. Close enough.”

Bradley’s eyes were getting heavier with the conversation, and the pain in his head was getting nearly overwhelming. And he was already on a bed…

“Hey, no! Do not lie in my bed! Bradshaw! What the hell is wrong with you?” Jake was starting to get more frustrated than worried.

“Nnnnghhh…” was the only answer he got from Bradley.

“No, no, open your eyes. If you have a concussion I am not letting you die in my bed.”

“That’s a myth, dumbass.” Bradley opened his eyes.

“You’re awake enough to call me a dumbass but not enough to find your own damn room?”

Still lying, Bradley gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Ok, then how many fingers am I holding up?” Jake held up two- no maybe four? No, it was definitely two going back and forth.

“Three?”

“So you definitely have a concussion, then. Come on, we’re going back to the nurses.” Jake grabbed Rooster around the waist and yanked him off the bed and to his feet.

“Fuck, Hangman, ow.”

“I did not risk getting court-martialed to save your ass from fucking 5th Gen fighters just for you to drop dead in my fucking cabin.”

“That’s still a myth.”

“Not the fucking point!”

#whumptober #whumptober 2023 #hangster #hangman x rooster #bradley bradshaw #jake seresin #lux writes

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ellieshairtye · 2 years

Text

What have you done! || Ellie/ dina x reader

Pairings: dina x reader and Ellie x reader

Warning- self harm, swearing, blame, cheating on both sides. angst angst angst.

Word count- 1.9k

A/n: this is my first sh fanfic but please DO NOT continue reading if this will trigger or reflect you in a bad way, also please take care of yourself. If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m always here.

———

I would say this have been going my way because they haven’t been, I feel like I’m fucking suffocating in this now pointless relationship, I watch as my girlfriend if 3 years gives longing looks towards her ex, I wake up ever time she gets up out of bed and tried to leave our home quietly in the middle of the night, I see their hands graze each other ever time they walk past one another. Worst of all, they think I’m oblivious.

And this leads me crying in the arms of my best friend hoping in someway I’m acting stupid and I’m overthinking it, but I’m always met with sad eyes and tight hugs, the little ‘you’re going to be okay’ whisper’s don’t go un-noticed either.

Dina is truly a blessing, from all the sleepless night and bags I’ve packed to sleep over in her cute little home, I’ve basically moved in, the only things I have left at Ellie’s are, my ds, headphones, and my walkman. I don’t think about it thought finding a peaceful slumber in my best friends arms always feels like home.

Walking up the next morning, was a dream but I would slowly turning into a nightmare, before I could even get a word out i feel someone push strands of hair out of my face. My eyes flutter open to be met with the face of an angle, “morning babe,” dina smiles at me. I smile back a small blush spreading on my cheeks.

“Good morning,” I say back before getting out of her bed before going over to my shoes. I hear her feet hit the ground before arms wrap around my waist. “Only if every morning could be like this.” She said in a happy tune resting her head on top of mine. After tying my laces I turn to her pulling the slightly taller girl into a hug.

“I have to get back I’m missing my ds, and music.” I told her with a laugh, only to hear her sigh. “I’ll come with you?” She asks looking slightly down at me making me feel things I should be feeling, “it’s okay I’ll see you tonight remember, the town party.” I watch her face light up with happiness seeing that I am actually going.

She picks me up and twirls me around making me break out in a fit of giggles. “I can’t wait to see you in that dress you just got, I still can’t believe you won’t let me see it.” She started to rant. Making me laugh at her. “I promise it will be worth waiting for you only have to wait-“ I stop looking over to the little clock she has on her night stand. “7 hours, damn I can’t believe we slept that long it’s been ages.”

She smiles before cupping my face, she presses a sweet kiss onto my cheek before telling me to go get my games with a laugh, i didn’t think I could be happier but I knew I shouldn’t feel this way so I kept it to myself even if me and Ellie have gotten distant I will always be loyal to her until we end thing. Well that’s what I though at least.

Walking up the two stairs of our shared home I quietly open the door before making my way inside, I look over to the bed to see Ellie but also what looks like another figure, holding back tears I walk over to see discarded clothes and cat in my fucking bed, looking over their neck it seems they had a good fucking time.

I Quickly get my shit before booking out out of their waking them up by the slam of the front door. I ran all the way back to my mom and dads house without a second thought, knocking on the door I watch as my Tommy opens it, I look up at him with tears in my eyes trying to tell him everything through my eyes, he seemed to get the point pulling me into his embrace.

I’m not sure how long we stood there but my sobbing died down a little, I feel him pull away a little, “let’s get you in side baby girl.” He said helping me inside while keeping me in his embrace. We make it to the couch taking a seat, he grabs the throw blanked on the edge of the couch behind him before wrapping it around me. “What happened, baby?”

I truly think about his question as look at him In the eyes. “I spent the night at Dina’s, I was happy for the first time in a long time, I thought Ellie just needed space, but when I got back home- I saw clothes around the bed and Ellie sleeping with cat. daddy I saw the marks on their necks and everything.” I sob out trying to maintain eye contact.

Tommy looked at me in disbelief before it soon turned into anger, he knew that he couldn’t get angry in front on his distressed daughter so he just hugged her. “Your going to be okay, you hear me baby girl. Your going to be just fine.” I wanted to believe his words but I just couldn’t.

I pull away while looking up at my dad with a slight smile, “ I need rest its been a crazy day.” I said forcefully letting out a chuckle, he just nods helping me to my room. I put my hand on the doorknob before twisting it and pushing it open, I look around to see everything the same but it’s clean so it isn’t dusty.

“I’ll be at the party tonight radio me if anything happens I’ll be here in under 30 seconds.” He said patting me on the back before walking away, making me call out to him. “I’ll hold you to that.” A slight smile made it way on my face as I walk over to my bed, pushing the covers away I slip in.

I put my head phones on my head and press play on my Walkman, for hours the only thing Tommy and Maria could hear were the light sobs coming from their daughters room. They knocked on the door telling her they are going to the party only to get no reply. Sighing in defeat they make their way to the front door before leaving.

———

Third person pov

———

Ellie had been looking for y/n before going to the party knocking on all her friends door asking if they have seems her she always got the same reply, so the girl went to the party in hopes to find the h/c haired girl, does she regret what she did? yes. Will she try her hardest to mend her relationship with y/n? yes.

Ellie was standing outside of the doors, where the famous town party’s be held, she was soon cut out of her though from and hand sneaking into hers. With a spark she looked over hoping to see y/n but only to be met with cat. Shaking out hand out of cats hold she makes her way through the doors.

Cat tried to stay with Ellie but Ellie said no and walked away, unknowingly making herself more visible to see to Tommy, she had only been there for a few minutes before tommy notices her while getting himself another drink, it’s like everything in his mind was forgotten the only words were hos little girls repeating in his head.

Before Maria OR Joel could stop him he marched his way over to her, and before Ellie could comprehend what was happening she was dragged away from the bar, looking up she came face to face with Tommy. “Do you have any fucking idea what you have done, I let you into my home, I let you date my little girl, I have to a place to stay in my fucking town and you repay me and MY family by cheating on my daughter with an ex that cheated on you.”

The older man ranted loudly alerting the ears of Maria, Joel and dina plus all the people around them. The three took notice of the situation and ran over, “Tommy, hun let not do this here.” Maria tried to reason with her husband. “Why Maria? Our baby girl is at home crying her heart out and you don’t want me to put same on the girl that did this to her.” Joel was starting to understand the situation by the guilty look on Ellie’s face and the fact his niece is not here.

“Is it true.” Joel finally asked Ellie, making her look at him “yes.” She whispered. Dina on the other hand was livid walking straight up to Ellie pushing Tommy away before punching the girl in the face. “You will never fucking understand how many times I’ve tried to reassure y/n that you were not a cheater and not a complete cunt, because I loved her and wanted her to be happy, that girl you have fucking ruined is the love of MY life, I would kill anyone for her I would take a fucking bullet for her, do you understand how much it hurt at first seeing her with you and now having her cry on my door step every night huh, oh and watch her get that cute little sparkle in her eye when you do the littlest of things like hold her hand or kiss her cheek, i wish everyday she was my girl but instead she was with a woman you can’t even get her priorities right, so do y/n a favour you either man the fuck up and fix what you have broken or I fucking will and I promise you I won’t let her see you again.

Ellie and dina had left the party to find y/n who isn’t doing to well.

———

Y/n

———

I couldn’t do it anymore the songs weren’t helping my thought were growing loud I didn’t want to listen to them but they gave me no choice, I guess that how I ended up in my bathroom with blood running down my wrists, the difference from when i did it the first time was that this time the blood didn’t stop it just kept going, I started to see spots and yells? I payed no mind to them I just turned the music up and hummed to the the lyrics.

I could hear shouts outside of my bathroom door I just couldn’t be bother to open it or talk back, so I sat there letting the lace fade out of me while I continue humming, i hear the banging stop before to bodied tumble in, i look up to see Ellie and dina but the only only one I looked at was my best friend.

“Y/n- that’s a lot of blood, Ellie go get someone now!” Dina tells the tall girl who is stood there in shock. Dina pulls me into her chest as she rocks me back and forward. I look up at dina to see her already looking down at me, her eyes have so many word so many things she wanted to tell me but somehow I understand I press my lips against hers softly before pulling away feeling myself get tired. I knew my time was almost up so I told her the one thing I could think about.

“I wish I chose you,”

#the last of us #tlou2 #dina tlou #ellie tlou #ellie williams #the last of us part 2 #ellie x reader #ellie williams x fem!reader #tlou ellie #tlou dina #dina x reader #dina x Fem!reader

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lucakaneshiroswife · 6 months

Note

Lemme hold one of them nijisanji matchups 😛😛 (sfw) or (both) BOTH

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pansexual

Appearance: OMGGG walk with me now. Right now im a little bald headed (jk but i had to cut my shit into a pixie cut bc i kept dying it too damn much 😞✊🏾), i am African American mixed with Somalian, I’m like 5’5 or 5’6 idfk 😭, ive been doing my squats plus i got those natural genetics so my booty is literally so humongous (HOUR GLASS 🗣️🗣️) (tmi?) it literally thunder claps when i walk i be getting scared sometimes 😅😅 (jk jk…), i have four piercings on my 🍒’s , lower back, eyebrow and belly button, i also have a butterfly tattoo behind my ear. ermm im pretty sure that’s it, my eyes are black and doe-like 💁🏾‍♀️

Personality: im just wild fr idek. jk but personally i feel like im a chill person and my friends think im really cool to hang around. my social battery is always up 100 but all you gotta do is put me in a crowd of people with some good food and suddenly im the most quietest person on earth 🤩

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

MBTI Type: ESFJ

Likes: Cats, food, stargazing, psychological horror movies, needle pain (not in a freaky way but like that pain you get from tattoos or piercings ykwim? 😅), dark green, food, reading, taking naps, food.

Dislikes: traveling (my motion sickness is so bad dude), waking up early, loud and obnoxious people, wet dog smell, fireworks (the colors >>> the sound), dark ness, butterflies. (laugh it up but i have such a huge fear of them, like they’re actually horrifying)

Hobbies: read, paint, listen to music, making music (album dropping december 43rd), baking

Quotes: OMGG I LOVE THIS

“it’s because im black huh…” (my friend wouldn’t share her fries), “i bet barack obama wouldn’t treat me like this”, “if we were on the titanic… i would’ve let you get on the door with me”, “my head is getting so fucking huge”, “THE HOES ARE CALLING”, “what if water was fire and fire was water.. like imagine someone saying ‘MY HOUSE IS ON WATER’, “*using tiktok filter* my soulmate initials start with a b?! omg bvox bakuma 🥺”, “idk im in the christmas sprit (as im taking off my Halloween costume)

Secret: I had gotten grounded this one time so when my mom was out running errands I snuck out to a friends house. I was getting a little hungry as usual so I was like “let me borrow your car so I can get us me some food” and she said alright. I went to the mall since i was really craving mall food at the time and right when I was walking out GUESS who’s car I see MY MOMS!!! when i tell you I BOOKED it to my friends car and hopped in the driver seat (thank goodness she didn’t see me in the mall because WHEW) anywho, right when i was about to pull off her ass wanna walk out of the mall and like a total dumbass instead of pulling off, my ass gon duck and slouch in the seat so she couldn’t see me 💀💀. as soon as she got into her car i started up my friends car and the craziest shit happen WE BOTH BACK OUT AT THE SAME TIME (her car was park backwards and mines was forward) I ended up scraping her car up pretty bad and THANK YOUUUU she didn’t recognized the car or see me either 😭. but anyways i pulled tf off 🌚 and zoomed to my friends house, dropped the car off, and literally RAN home. i hid the food under my bed and deadass acted like i was sleep so like 15 minutes later when she came back home she burst into my room like “GUESS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED” and she started screaming about how a non-driving, blind, stupid bitch scratched her car and the whole time Im just sitting there like 😦 “damn that’s crazyyyy” and until this day she still think a random person scraped her car but uhm…. (which made it even funnier is that she literally came home with mall food for me so i was eating DOUBLE GOOD that day 😋)

Miscellaneous: im such a huge cat person im trying to break the world record (28000) with the most cats owned.

A/N: Okay you are CHAOS and you know who will love that?

VOX AKUMA

Your personality is like a lot, in the good way, and ass? Our demon lord REALLY loves you.

He is a pretty loud and interesting person, but somehow he managed to slip his way into your life like the (not so) little shit he is <3

I feel you being so spontaneous is something he will adore about you, the vibes you give off just keeps attracting him, like a moth to flame and god does he love it.

With your sense of humor, and his combined you both will constantly be at risk of getting cancelled, and you know what? Maybe it's not too bad as long as both of you are laughing.

Despite the 'action-ey' parts of your relationship I believe intimate moments are sacred.

While for Vox, sleep isn't a requirement, he will most definitely come cuddle you while telling you how beautiful you are to him even if you are balding, he wants to make you laugh don't blame him.

On this topic, somno. That's all, that's everything. Those 'innocent' moments don't remain innocent for too long. Soon enough you will find yourself asleep after a long day or just possibly eating really good food, you look so peaceful to him.

Would that stop Vox from sneaking his hands up your shirt in a not-so innocent manner, touching your piercings and whispering about how tempting you are even when you're sleeping.

You'd probably wake up to him rocking his hips against your behind, his hands groping your tits, breathing heavily into your neck. How dare you reduce him to such a state?

#luxiem x reader #luxiem matchup #MATCHUP NOVEMBER

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iamvegorott · 11 months

Text

Meeting A Magical Man Pt. 5

Part 1: Link Prev: Link Next: Link

----------

Henrik texted Chase and Marvin before peeking into his home office and seeing Robbie curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly. He would need to figure out better sleeping arrangements for Robbie soon if this kept up the way it was.

“He down?” Marvin asked, appearing right behind him.

“Yes.” Henrik had gotten used to Marvin just popping up. He gently closed the door and used his head to gesture for Marvin to follow him.

“So, the story with the kid?” Marvin asked when they were in the kitchen.

“I will wait till Chase is here so I do not have to repeat myself,” Henrik said. “But, while we are waiting, I have some questions for you.” The smile he made caused Marvin to groan, knowing precisely what was about to happen. “How was your date?”

“It was just dinner. Can’t fuck on an empty stomach.” Marvin crossed his arms.

“So you do not want Chase around anymore?” Henrik asked.

“He’d be a good friend, a great friend with benefits, but nothing more than that,” Marvin stated, eyes going to the door in the other room to make sure Chase didn’t walk in while they were talking about him. He didn’t know how far away Chase lived from Henrik’s place.

“Are you really going to say you only want sex from this?”

“And friendship.”

“You do not have to have sex with all your friends.”

“We haven't had sex, but if you’d want, I can change that~?”

“No.” Henrik flicked Marvin’s nose and caused his mask to shift from it. “You need to stop using sexual innuendos and actions to hide from your feelings.”

“I don’t do that,” Marvin muttered. He took his mask off and shook his hair, the shift causing some of his bangs to get caught under it.

“You hide your feelings like your mask hides your face.” Henrik adjusted his glasses.

“Low blow.” Marvin blew a raspberry.

“Oh, you know what I mean. It is a metaphor.”

“Yeah, yeah. And I’m not hiding. I’m very loud and proud of everything.” Marvin used his thumb to clean off a smudge from his mask.

“Loud, yes. Prideful, yes. But fully honest? Not so much.” Henrik said, and the two paused when they heard the door opening. Marvin quickly put his mask back on and decided to use this to turn attention away from himself.

“Like how honest you are about Edward?” Marvin had the biggest grin, knowing Chase could hear him as he followed his voice to the kitchen.

“Edward? Isn’t that the other doctor you work with a lot?” Chase asked.

“Yes, he is. That is all he is.” Henrik’s voice was a warning to Marvin.

“Really? Then why are you blushing, darling?” Marvin leaned back against the counter, now comfortable with being the one teasing and prodding.

“I am not!” Henrik protested.

“You are a little red, Hen.” Chase chuckled.

“That is enough. Do you want to hear about Robbie or not?” Henrik huffed.

“Alright, alright, I’ll be nice. For now.” Marvin giggled, hoisting himself up to sit on the counter. “Spill.” Chase sat at the small kitchen table as Henrik did the same.

“I am going to be fairly blunt about this and say that Robbie is technically half-dead,” Henrik said.

“He’s what?” Marvin asked.

“Robbie…he was abandoned. He was left outside of the hospital terribly ill and dying. The other doctors just wanted to ensure his passing was peaceful, as painless as possible, but I refused. I wanted him to survive.” Henrik took his glasses off and rubbed his face. “I do not know why, but I was determined to keep him with us, and I…well…I went into the…” He couldn’t say it, but the look he gave Marvin clued him in.

“Holy shit, you actually did it? You got into that?” Marvin’s eyes went wide.

“Got into what?” Chase asked.

“He combined magic and science and basically did necromancy,” Marvin explained. “It’s something no one should do, like, even I don’t fuck with it, and I stopped caring about magic user rules forever ago.”

“Necromancy is the-”

“I know what it is.” Chase cut Henrik off, and there was this pause shared between them. Marvin could feel this weird tension and wanted to know what was happening. There was clearly a secret, and Marvin didn’t like being left out.

“Sorry,” Henrik’s apology was soft, and then he returned to his regular volume. “While I am far from an actual magic user, I used what little magical residue left in my office at the hospital and here in my home from Marvin’s visits to channel it into my devices and restart Robbie’s heart…but it didn’t continue pumping. He does not have a heartbeat, but his brain is active. His body is changing rapidly, and I do not know how far or long it will last. He may only live a few years, but it will be a few years of a full life, and I have taken it upon myself to be a guardian since I caused this.”

“Wait, no heart but a brain? Wouldn’t that make him like a zombie?” Chase scratched at his cheek. “Is that why he has the big teeth? So he can eat people?”

“I’m sorry, Henrik, but if that kid tries to take a chunk of my leg, I will punt him,” Marvin said.

“When I said he does not want blood, that goes for flesh, too. He eats like you and me, although he eats a lot more, likely due to the enhanced metabolism from the rapid growth. Perhaps the constant hunger will stop when the growing does.” Henrik said.

“Do you have enough clothes for him?” Chase’s voice was something Marvin also couldn’t place. There was a weird…familiarity to it? Like he understood something about what Henrik was going through. Well, that was something to try to figure out.

“If he remains this size for a while, I do not. I was buying new clothing daily since his spurts of growth occurred overnight, but he did not change last night, and I am unsure if he will again tonight.” Henrik placed his glasses back on.

“I’ll bring some over in the morning.” Chase gave a small smile. Marvin made a face to himself. Why would Chase have clothes? Maybe he was offering to go out and buy some. He didn’t like being excluded anymore.

“Well, that answers my questions…almost. I’m sure more will come later. But at this moment-” Marvin reached into his pocket and tossed Chase a little vial. “Try that tonight. It’s not meant to knock you out but should help you relax. If you can’t sleep, you’ll at least be able to rest mentally and emotionally.”

“Thanks, Marv,” Chase said after fumble-catching the vial.

“I’m going to head back to my place. Text me in the morning about how you’re feeling. Hen, do you mind giving him my number? Bye~” Marvin sang and was gone before he got a response.

“I’m guessing I just drink this?” Chase held up the vial.

“Appears to be one of his potions, so yes. He’s pretty good about having the taste be either tolerable or even sometimes tasty, so you’ll be fine.” Henrik said. “Now, I have a question for you.”

“Yeah?”

“How did the date go?”

“It didn’t go bad, or he wouldn’t have anything to do with me.” Chase chuckled. “It also ended…good.”

“I am more than aware that you two had sex. There is no need to be embarrassed. I am your doctor, after all. Did it all go well?” Henrik had his ‘work voice’ on.

“Put Dr. Schneeplestein away.” Chase groaned. “It was fine. Everything worked how it should.”

“There was no struggle to get ere-”

“Hen!” Chase reached across the table and put his hands over his mouth. “If I needed my doctor, I would have paged him. I’d like my friend, please.” He waited until Henrik nodded before removing his hands.

“Would you want to go on another date with Marvin?” Henik’s tone was no longer his work one.

“I mean…I guess?” Chase shrugged. “I just…I think it’s too soon before getting into that stuff again.”

“Too soon? It’s been years.”

“I know. Maybe…maybe I need something casual at first. Maybe something stress-free, fun, and no strings attached. Marvin’s really cool and seems more than okay with going that route.” Chase started scratching at a stain on the table.

“If that is what you think is best,” Henrik put a hand on top of Chase’s to get him to stop. “I support you. Always feel free to come to me with questions. Be it from Dr. Schneeplestein or Henrik. Okay?”

“You’re the best, Hen.” Chase smiled. “And, if you need help with your new little guy, feel free to get me, too.”

“Does that mean you would like to be the godfather?” Henrik asked.

“Absolutely!”

----------

Tags: @brokentimewatch @bookwormscififan @d-structive

#trickshot #meeting a magical man #veggie writes

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bonesandthebees · 8 months

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Ider if i told u but i got my wisdom teeth removed today and that shit was the worst experience of my life ohmygod

The actual procedure went okay, though like i took an anti anxiety med that was supposed to knock me out but i was Fully Conscious LMFAO AND SO I ASKED THEM TO GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE BUT THEY WERE LIKE "naur bro ur fine" BC I WSNT FREAKING OUT A TON DJFKGKF WHICH I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR (tho it turned out to be a good thing bc those meds ended up making me . Hashtag emetophobia tw ifykwim)

BUT YEAH THE RECOVERY PROCESS WAS SHITTTT THEY TOLD ME I COULD TAKE OUT THE GAUZE IN 2 HRS AND SLEEP BC I WAS VERY TIRED BUT NOOOO IT WOUKDNT HEALLL FOR A WHOLE SIX ASS HOURS

Ahem sorry for yelling i was just very . Upset bc i wanted to sleep or even just drink fucking water man

BUT I DIDDD EVENTUALLY I DIDD WE REJOICEEE i think there was still a little bit of blood but i couldnt taste it anymore and i was really thirsty so shfkfkf and food (literally just broth lmao) made me feel a lot better so that's good

But yeah . -1100000 experience i would literally never recommend it (unless u have to, also from who I've talked to almost everyone else has had a better experience than me so if u are scared, do not worry king it won't be that bad. And even if it is like me, im here!! And alive!! And the nausea wasnt that bad, it kinda just came and went. Much better than migraines bro fr, migraines suck BALLS)

Like everyone kept telling me to watch a movie but that was stressing me out so what i ended up doing wss putting on a podfic (passerine podcast on yt woot woot, i listened to change fate by sircantus) and man it's actually wild how much it helped me. It helped calm my anxiety AND distract me from the pain. Once i did that existing felt less like suffering and more like an annoyance ahahah

OUGH I DIDNT EVEN GET ANY SILLY GOOFY MOMENTS EITHER BC I WASNT LOOPY AT ALL JUST TIRED DHFJFK

Anyways ty for letting me get that out of my system LMAOO

oh man this sounds literally horrible I'm so sorry icy 😭 that sucks that you weren't able to knock out even a little bit but at least the procedure itself wasn't horrible

god that sounds terrible though just sitting there for 6 hours waiting to be able to take the gauze out. that's so strange that it took so long. but at least you were able to listen to passerine podcast that's nice!!

everyone I know whose gotten their wisdom teeth removed had a better experience than this I am so sorry you got so unlucky.

I'm very grateful that I'm never gonna have to get my wisdom teeth removed. I had soooo much horribly painful dental work done to my mouth throughout my entire teen years that I now genuinely get bad anxiety anytime I'm in a dentist office even if I'm not there for myself, I straight up was getting anxious when I took my grandma there for a cleaning the other day 😭 and I keep putting off a recommended (minor) procedure bc of this anxiety it's badddd

I hope you're feeling better now though!!

#ask #icyfox17 #tw: dentist

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lucky-starling · 9 months

Text

So, I was quite stupid in high school.

That's not true. A lot of the people I know say I'm really smart. I have certain, specific topics that I am really, really good at. I got like 95%-100%s on every test I *actually* studied for.

But I graduated high school with a 1.7 GPA.

I mean at least I graduated?

I was... going through a lot in high school. (I truly don't think I'll even feel sad whenever my dad does die.) It's not just that I was sad. We were poor, and i wasn't getting enough food. I was also disillusioned because he kept telling me school didn't matter and was fascist or whatever, and scared of the world he was leading me to believe laid beyond childhood, full of satanic cannibals and pedophiles. I also just could not pay attention. I dont know why. It never clicked with me that I should. Not that I was *supposed to*, I understood that, I just never saw a reason *why I should*. It didn't interest me.

I guess when I list shit out like that, it makes me feel better that I am as functioning now as I am.

Anyway. I spent all of my classes sleeping (and spent every night binging TV until 4am), socializing, or making up little stories in my head and doodling. I learned very little.

Now I'm 25, and... I want to see what I missed! In my adulthood (and newfound stability), I want to learn! I don't really have an objective, like, a college or career path, I just Want. To. Know!!! For myself! For fun?

So I am!

I didn't know where to start... probably the 4 core subjects is my best bet? There's nothing I want to specialize in..I. yet! Maybe something will grab my interest!

I've got some textbooks. I've got The Penguin History of The World, Openstax's ap Biology (I probably retained enough to start with ap at 26, haha...), The Art of Problem Solving's Algebra 1, and... no English (I was always pretty good with English)... but I've got some open source Spanish 1 text book, which I've already gotten a decent way through! (¡Puedo comer vidrio, no me hace daño!

Then I'll branch out to more specific parts of history, like certain times or countries, Geometry, Algebra 2, eventually Calculus (which I don't think I ever even took? The state I went to HS in is 49th in Education....), and introductory chemistry and physics.

And then I'll teach myself college level things!

I'll also probably delve into things like psychology, philosophy, sociology... I love, y'know, *people*.

Of course, this is very embarrassing. Two days ago, my boyfriend taught me how to multiply and divide fractions by canceling. I'm 25. That's, like, mortifying to admit.

But at least I'm doin' something about it instead of never admitting it and then continuing to not know forever!

Grifjejf. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch but. I'm really looking forward to this journey tbh. Learning is fun to me now! I want knowledge. Yay.

#murmurs

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sasholotl · 2 years

Text

hey, a piece for the ronance fandom cause I love them very much and my brain is rotting haha

AO3

Nancy woke up abruptly, mouth dry and back wet, with the certainty she was back in the Upside Down where everything was cold and dark, where the dead body of Barbara was watching her without mercy. Underneath her lids, as if carved on her pupils, the image of fiery red hair and unseeing eyes kept haunting her. Nausea rose in her throat but she swallowed it back, focusing on the pattern on her walls to keep her head from spinning.

In her chest, her heart was beating so fast, she thought it would hurled itself out of her ribcage onto the wall. She brought her hands to her chest, pressing in the hope it would somewhat calm her, but she knew it was hopeless.

The only thing that could calm her down was living kilometers away from her.

Without thinking – or more precisely, thinking only of the desperate need to see her – Nancy grabbed the phone on her bedside, her fingers tapping the numbers as if it was muscle memory more than an actual conscious action.

Robin answered at the third ringtone, her voice groggy with sleep as she mumbled, ''Nance, god, what the hell are you doing awake at 3 a.m. ?'', and suddenly it was like she just couldn't breathe, couldn't think clearly because she couldn't see Robin, couldn't make sure she was alright. What if she had gotten Vecna-ed without Nancy knowing ? What if Robin was in danger right now ?

What if dreaming about Barbara was just her brain's way of telling her something wrong was gonna happen soon ?

She only registered the tears on her cheeks when one drop fell on her hand. Her throat closed around the words she wanted to say.

Are you safe ? Can you come over ? I need to make sure you are safe and sound. I need to see you.

''Nance ?'' Robin sounded more awake now, concern sipping into her tone. When Nancy failed to speak, struggling to even breathe properly, Robin cursed lowly and ruffling sounds made themselves heard as Robin presumably left her bed. ''Hey, it's alright, I'm coming, okay ? Give me twenty minutes and I'm out throwing pebbles at your window like the proper knight I am.''

Nancy couldn't crack a smile at Robin's ongoing joke, instead croaking a pitying, ''Please.'' that only made Robin sound more upset.

''Sure, babe, I'm on my way.'' There was a curse then, followed by a loud thud and another curse. ''Shit, shit, shit, dropped the phone, sorry.''

It was all so typical Robin behavior, it somewhat managed to soothe a little her racing heart. Not enough to smile, but enough to feel like maybe it was okay, maybe Robin was safe and Nancy was safe and everyone was safe. Maybe it was just a simple nightmare, a representation of the guilt gnawing at her subconscious about Barb and her death and nothing more.

But then, Robin shattered the relative peace Nancy had managed to find and said, ''I've gotta go Nance, I'm sorry, I can't possibly bring the phone-''

''No, no, please don't go, don't leave me, please Robin, I don't want to be alone, please, please-'' Nancy begged, sobs building, burning, in her chest, impossibly big for her body, like if she repressed them, she would explode. Or maybe it was the panic racing in all her body, from her fingers clenched around the phone to her legs' muscles contracting, ready to bolt out of the room at any anomaly.

''Hey, hey Nance, shh, it's okay.'' It took several minutes of Robin murmuring soothing words before Nancy felt like she could breathe again. ''I can't bring the phone with me, but I promise I will be as fast as humanly possible, okay ? I will summon the athlete in me and run faster than Steve being serenaded by Tammy Thompson, you'll see.''

This managed to tear a weary chuckle from her, more hysteric than genuine. Still, it felt like a win, still being able to laugh in the face of the terror gripping her guts.

''Fortunately, Steve will never know how much we laugh at him,'' Robin whispered, her smile almost audible in her voice, ''or he will have my death.''

''He loves you too much to kill you.'' She said back, her voice hoarse and croaky, made wobbly by the sobs stuck in her throat.

''You're kidding, Wheeler ? One of us has to pay for teasing him, and it sure as hell isn't gonna be you because you are clearly his favourite. He wouldn't hurt a single hair of your pretty head.'' There was a slight pause then, and Nancy knew what was coming. ''I, um, really have to go if I want to be by your house in twenty minutes.''

She screwed her eyes shut, willed herself not to let her panic escalate. ''I know.''

''I will be here soon, Nance.''

''I know.''

''I will smother you in affection as soon as I'll arrive.''

This tugged a smile at her lips. ''I hope so.''

She could feel Robin's own reluctance at hanging up. ''I love you Nance.''

''I love you too.'' She inahled deeply, let air fill her lungs. ''See you soon.''

Nancy hanged up the phone, and prepared herself for the longest twenty minutes of her life.

[…]

Something tapped her window, urging. It took her so much by surprise she almost screamed, but the sound died on her lips the moment she saw Robin's face behind the glass, twisted in concern even though she offered Nancy a soft smile. Scrambling up from the corner she had retreated to, Nancy's trembling hands came to open the window.

She wasted no time in tugging Robin inside, clutching her girlfriend's shirt hard enough to feel blood pulse in her fingertips. As soon as Robin was back on the floor, she threw herself at her, arms locking her in an embrace that could not have feel comfortable at all. And yet, Robin ''this shirt is way too small, I'm gonna die of asphyxiation'' Buckley didn't protest, simply coming to hold her tight, her chin choosing to rest on top of her head.

''It's okay, Nance, I'm here.'' A low whine escaped her, and underneath the panic throbbing in her chest, a flush of embarrassment burned at being so needy when obvisouly everything was fine. ''I'm safe, and you're safe too, I promise.''

''I'm sorry,'' she whispered against the crook of Robin's neck, her voice coming out way too hoarse and wobbly, ''I'm just making a fool of myself.''

And she should really stop clinging to Robin. She should drop her arms and step back and apologise for making Robin come at this ungodly hour.

''What ? No, Nancy, it's okay, you had a nightmare. It's normal to feel scared. Hell, you know I have nightmares too. Everyone has.''

Nancy shook her head. ''I shouldn't let it get to me. It's stupid, it's just a nightmare-''

''Let it get to you ?'' Robin said, and Nancy couldn't tell if she was angry or confused. Maybe a bit of both. ''You had a nightmare, how can you not let it get to you ? This is like, the literal function of a nightmare. It's made especially to get to you !''

''That's not what I meant !''

''Then what did you mean ?''

''It's not real, and I know it. I know that everytime I see Bar-'' The words left her there, because she just couldn't say her friend's name, not out loud, not when it was all her fault. She swallowed. ''I know that all I'm seeing in these dreams is not the truth. So why am I letting it get to me ? Why can't I get over it, like you and Steve did ?''

She stepped back then. Not far enough to leave Robin's embrace, but enough to see her face. Robin's brows were furrowed, her eyes narrowed, and hadn't she still felt the remaining of panic poking around, Nancy would have felt flustered at how cute Robin looked.

''Nance,'' Robin began, her hands coming to cup her cheeks, warm and soothing, ''do you really think Steve and me got over it ?''

''I don't- I don't understand. You don't have nightmares anymore.''

Robin chuckled. She sounded more weary than amused.

''It's not that easy to 'get over it' as you said. It's not something that we can just bat away because we find it annoying.'' Her girlfriend's hands slid to her shoulders, squeezing gently. Robin looked away, her eyes landing on her Tom Cruise poster. Her jaw clenched. For a brief moment, Nancy thought she would cry. ''Steve cannot spend an hour without calling the kids, and even though he knows it's bothering them, he can't stop. He's just afraid they're gonna disappear, I guess.'' Robin sighed shakily, her gaze dropping to the ground. ''I'm not blaming him. Sometimes it feels like everything could go wrong at any moment.''

''Robin, I... I had no idea...''

''Yeah, it's not the sort of things he likes to talk about. And for the nightmares, well... Let's just say that we spent more than one night laying in his room, listening to some bands he liked until he was too tired to put off sleep.''

Nancy couldn't stop herself then, grabbing Robin's hands, rubbing her thumbs against her girlfriend's skin. ''I'm glad you can be here for him.''

Robin nodded but her eyes had this faraway look and Nancy wondered where her mind had taken her. The words burned her tongue, but she swallowed them back. Still, Robin seemed to sense her curiosity as her eyes snapped back to hers, their blue shade brightened by the room's light.

''I don't have a lot of nightmares, and when I have, they're usually mild enough that they don't prevent me from sleeping. But...''

''But what ?'' she asked, hoping she sounded soft and kind, that her guilt of not knowing her own girlfriend was suffering too wasn't audible.

Robin's eyes closed, and she sighed, before stepping away to sit on the bed. Before Nancy could feel her panic reignite, Robin patted the space next to her.

''Nightmares aren't always the worst you know,'' Robin said as Nancy sat close enough to her for their sides to be pressed together, ''Sometimes it's the simple things. Like how I can't be alone, otherwise it's like I can't fucking breathe. Or how I always have music in my ears because what if Vecna is still alive somewhere, plotting his evil plan to take his revenge on us ?'' Robin turned to her, and her whole face twisted in anguish. ''The relief I feel everytime I see you or Steve or the kids making me dizzy. It's like there's this constant fear of something happening to one of us, and the only time I'm not scared is when I'm with you.''

There was nothing she could think of saying. Instead, she grabbed Robin's hand, angling her body so she could tug Robin against her, until her girlfriend's head was safely buried in the crook of her neck.

''You're the only one who's able to make me forget what we went through. You and Steve are the only ones I feel safe with.'' Robin whispered, her breath tickling the sensitive skin of her neck. For a long moment, neither of them talked, both relishing the comfort the other exuded. ''And to be honest Nance, you're probably the only functioning one out of all of us right now.''

She laughed self-deprecatingly. ''You can only say that because you didn't see me almost pissing myself when I woke up.''

''That's a pity, that must have been a sight.'' Robin muttered teasingly earning a swat at her head. Her girlfriend snickered but otherwise did not say anything else, burrowing closer to her.

Nancy was ready to call it a night and try to get some sleep for the few hours of night they had left. She disentangled them, ignoring Robin's groans of protest at how totally unfair it was, and laid on her bed, opening her arms in a silent invitation for Robin.

Surprisingly, Robin, who was always eager to receive physical affection, didn't move, choosing instead to stare at her with an unreadable expression.

''What ?'' Nancy said, becoming more and more self-conscious the more Robin stayed silent.

Robin smiled, adoration pouring from her in waves. It made Nancy's heart stumble in her chest.

''Maybe you really don't know, but you're the bravest person I've ever known.'' Before Nancy could protest, Robin crawled over to her, hovering above her in a way that would have sent her to Heaven had it not been for the gravity of the moment. ''And yes, counting Steve.'' Robin's smile expanded at the sound of her chuckling. ''If I was you, I would simply never leave my room. I can't imagine what these nightmares are like for you. And yet, you never let them win. Everyday, you're ready to stand up and fight off the fear creeping around.''

She just couldn't resist the wave of affection and fondness hitting her, so she kissed Robin. Slowly, trying to show her what her words meant to her.

''You're my hero,'' Robin whispered against her lips, ''You're so, so fucking brave.''

Her eyes burned, but she blinked the tears away. ''I love you.''

Robin grinned, looking so beautiful, it physically hurt. ''Love you too.'' Her girlfriend kissed her again before rolling on her side. ''Now time to sleep. You need your beauty sleep after all.''

''Shut up,''Nancy groaned, despite the smile tugging at her lips, ''If one of us needs sleep it's you. You look like you haven't sleep in days.''

''Whose fault is that ?'' Her girlfriend's remark was soothed by the kiss Robin pressed against her wrist. ''Besides, I've been having this ridiculous dream of being chased by a squirrel.''

This was so unexpected Nancy couldn't help but burst into laughter.

''Oh c'mon, stop laughing. It's not funny. Squirrels are terrifying !''

''You fought one of the most horrible creature in not one, but two worlds, and you're afraid of squirrels ?''

''I would take Vecna over squirrels any day.'' Robin replied, a solemn expression on her face.

Nancy's belly was aching, and her eyes watered because of her unending laughter. She didn't know how Robin always managed to soothe her nerves, no matter the situation.

She wasn't about to complain.

And maybe the nightmares would become bearable, if it meant Robin would be there to ward off the darkness.

For now, Nancy simply wriggled closer to Robin, allowing herself to doze off to the sound of Robin's deep breath and her whispered ''I've got you Nance, you can sleep.''

#ronance #robin x nancy #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #stranger things #ash writes #GIMME MORE CANON INTERACTION OF THEM

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pansyfemme · 1 year

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4 NOAM bcuz i drew him & i like him. 🧡

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

first off shout out to you for sending me three responses immediatly after i rebloged that but im gonna try and do these before i go to sleep bc i JUST got back from the theatre and i am SLEEPY

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

noam doesn't regret lies as much as just not speaking up more and letting people what was going on in his mind. he feels sometimes that if he had just been a bit clearer of how much distress he was in as a kid, he may have gotten treatment for mental health sooner.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

He 'scripts' a lot, but rarely his plans for conversation come to fruition. he tends to go off on tangents and forget where he started, coming around and around in speaking until a lot of it makes little sense. There's always something off about how he goes about things, like he's speaking to himself more than anyone else, just trying to believe what he's saying.

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Noam lives in a near constant state of anxiety and guilt. He has been unable to shake it as long as he can remember, he's very often paranoid he's hurting others to the point that it actually does start to impact his relationships.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

i came up with kidd and noam at the same time, i can't totally remember the details but i kept having a recurring daydream about two guys meeting late at night after one of them is involved in an accident and the other has to care for them, but its not rlly. that at all anymore. Noam has been the 'focus' for a while. i'd hesitate to call him the main character but he's definitly one of the ones that gets the most developed.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Noam is. very similar to myself in a lot of ways. I hate how much he is, honestly. I write all my ocs in the way that they feel like just. queer ppl living in society, guys you'd run into from time to time. i think we'd get along, but neither of us can carry a conversation for shit so.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

He's self-loathing to a fault and feels that because he's had bad experiences in the past, theres no point to getting help. he relies too heavily on his friends and partners for mental health help despite him badly needing to find another outlet.

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whereallthepoetswenttodiee · 2 years

Text

Go Ask Alice

This book deeply touched me, because it’s the words from a teenage girl like me, and describes life in the best, yet most cruel way the life of a teenage girl like me could be described

How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten and still function, still talk and smile and concentrate? (…) I guess I'll never measure up to anyone's expectations. I surely don't measure up to what I'd like to be.

I seem to be kind of losing interest in everything. At first I thought high school would be fun but it’s just dull. Everything’s dull. Maybe it’s just because I’m growing up and life is becoming more blasé.

Help me to exercise every morning and night and clean my skin and eat right and be optimistic and agreeable and positive and cheerful. I want so much to be someone important, or even just asked out by a boy every once in a while. Maybe the new me will be different.

Even now I'm not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I've gotten from books.

It seems that when something is going good, everything else goes good too.

I'm not them, I’m me.

I don't even like myself.

Some days nothing worth writing happens and other days I'm too busy or too bored or too angry or too annoyed, or just too me to do anything I don't have to do.

Even with them I'm not really me. I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.

Confidentially, no one has ever been that interested in me. Sometimes I think no one ever will be. I really do like boys a lot, sometimes I think I like them too much, but I'm not very popular.

I should be happy for him, but I’m not - I’m sad for myself.

If I went by her standing rule of “If you can't say something nice about things don't say anything at all,” I’d never even open my mouth except to eat, and I've been doing plenty of that!

I remember being able to talk to her when I was little but it's as though we speak a different language now and the meanings just don't come across the right way.

I hope it's not strange for a girl to feel that way about another girl.

For the first time that I could remember in my whole life, I was completely uninhibited.

I don't know why I shouldn't use drugs, because they’re wild and they're beautiful and they're wonderful, but I know I shouldn't, and I won’t! I won't ever again.

Other boys have kissed me but it wasn't the same at all. This was fondness and liking and desire and regard and admiration and affection then tenderness and attachment and yearning. It was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in my life.

It's all I can do to keep from crying. Mom and Dad just called to say how proud they are to have me for a daughter. There are no words to express how I feel.

It's good to be home.

I'm afraid. Isn't that ghastly and ironic? I'm afraid to live and afraid to die.

Actually I don't need the sleep as much as I need the escape. It's a wonderful way to escape. I think I can't stand it and then I just take a pill and wait for sweet nothingness to take over. At this stage in my life nothingness is a lot better than somethingness.

I wanted more than anything in the world to know that they understood, but naturally they just kept on talking and talking because they are incapable of really understanding anything.

I was delighted that I was so different.

Goodbye dear home, goodbye good family. I really am leaving mostly because I love you so much and I don't want you to ever know what a weak and disreputable person I have been. (…) I'm leaving you a note beloved family, but it can never tell you how sacred you are to me.

The lights and music and sound and San Francisco were part of me and I was part of them.

With the shit he was on every day, it’s no wonder he was out of control.

So I guess I’ll just leave another “thanks” and “I love you” note.

I'm glad I'm always so tired I fall asleep the minute I touch the bed, because I don't want time to think.

Oh that song was written about me and all the others of thousands of girls like me trying to escape.

Now everyone just thinks we ran away because we wanted to be out on our own.

Adolescents have a very rocky insecure time. Grown-ups treat them like children and yet expect them to act like adults.

I used to think foreign languages were dumb, but now I realize that it's very important to be able to communicate with people, with all people.

It was a nice warm feeling knowing that we were communicating, and much more than vocally!

Anyone who says pot and acid are not addicting is a damn, stupid, raving idiot, unenlightened fool!

After you've had it, there isn't even life without drugs.

Depressed, No one in the world but a doper could know the true opposite of depressed.

Life is really unbelievable now. Time seems so endless yet everything goes so fast. I love it!

When I face a girl it's like facing a boy.

I don't know what the hell hour or day or even year it is, or even what town.

Well, at least I'm not burned out and I'm not preg. Or maybe I am. I couldn't take the goddamn pill even if I had it. No doper can take the pill because they don't know what the hell day it is.

Let somebody elses think for us and do for us and act for us.

I'm not even going to talk about it or write about it or even think about it anymore. I am going to spend the rest of my entire life trying to please them.

She didn't know whether she was running away from something or running to something.

The others I talked to, the ones who had homes, all seemed to want to go back, but felt they couldn't because that would mean giving up their identity. It made me think about the hundreds of thousands of kids who have run away and are wandering around all over the place.

I have just read the stuff I wrote in the last few weeks and I am being drowned in my own tears, suffocated, submerged, inundated, overpowered. They are a lie!

Sure, it's great and groovie going on trips, I will never be able to say it isn't.

I wonder how much of his mature outlook I am responsible for?

I've even started praying every night like I used to when I was little, but now I'm not just saying words, I'm begging.

I used to think I was the only one who felt things. But I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.

But to tell you the truth, I really don't think the kids can be blamed for screwing up, at least not entirely.

My room will be my whole universe.

He feels very deeply.

I'm so tired that sometimes I just want to run away again and never come back.

Or am I actually dead and they are just experimenting with my soul?

There’s nowhere to go because the whole world is crazy.

It sounds incredible that the first time I took drugs and the last time which landed me in an insane asylum were both given to me without my knowledge.

I guess the doctors know what they're doing but I'm so lonely and so lost and so frightened.

When I asked her how long she'd been here, she said, “forever, simply forever.”

I think they are going to bring busloads of school children by tomorrow to feed us peanuts through the bars.

Sometimes I think death is the only way out of this room.

I guess he thinks there are still things in this world that might amaze me.

He said they all blasted and thought it was great. I could tell from his eyes that he still thought it was great.

He almost has a contact high just talking about drugs.

It's sort of like watching someone yawn. you're drawn into it and you start yawning yourself. I'm so grateful I felt nothing, but I almost wish I hadn't asked because it was really depressing to see that he and Julie can't wait to get out of here and get back on their thing.

She said as soon as she gets out the kids will be right there hassling her head and trying to get her to take off again and right now she knows she couldn't say no.

I'm afraid to hope but I can't help it, and the idea of hoping in this most hopeless of all places makes me want to cry.

I'm so very, very grateful that they don't hate me, because in a lot of ways I hate myself.

Everything would be absolutely perfect if only Joel were here.

I'm doing what I love most, just enjoying myself in my own lonely room with my books and all my personal possessions.

But I guess the truth is I just don't feel myself around boys anymore.

I didn’t tell him that that’s the way I feel too but I’m sure he knows.

I looked at the sky this morning and realized that summer is almost gone which really made me sad because it doesn’t seem as though it’s been here at all.

If I had someone who knew how to handle these things I wouldn’t have to sit here in my bed and worry you and myself.

Why can’t we just be ourselves and have everybody accept us the way we are? Why can’t I just be me as I am now and not have to concentrate and fume and get upset about my past and my future.

Isn’t it weird how sometimes time goes so fast and you can’t even keep up with it, like it’s been going the last two or three weeks.

I wonder if life is as explosive and confusing to other people. I hope not, because I really wouldn’t wish this mess on anyone else.

I used to think I would get another diary after you are filled, or even that I would keep a diary or journal through my whole life. But now I don’t really think I will. Diaries are great when you’re young. In fact, you saved my sanity a hundred, thousand, million times. But I think when a person gets older she should be able to discuss her problems and thoughts with other people, instead of just with another part of herself as you have been to me.

It's all been good in its own special way I guess.

#go ask alice #book #diary #true story #america #60s #drugs #drug use #addiction #journal #teenagers

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thepringlesofblood · 1 year

Text

i got a fuckin video game story for ya

In minecraft, I have a basic sandbox creative mode world, where I fuck around and explore things. it is home to such ambitious projects as Pixel Art Sans and Pixel Art Sans 2, a dope ass home base on top of a waterfall that I never actually use, several “baby caves” which are just caves/ponds of axolotls that I have named after various fictional characters, a honey farm, and a village that was just right next to spawn, where I built a little village house for myself, leveled everyone up, and made it my home.

There is a mason villager that consistently sleeps in my bed. At first I just put another bed next to them to use for myself and figured I’d fix it in the morning. I put other beds out. I made a new villager-style house full of beds. I put beds in every house where they fit. Still the mason comes home to me. I was annoyed, but this was before I started looking things up for answers every time something went wrong - I wanted the Authentic Experience. I wanted to learn things for myself.

I resigned myself to having a roommate. Time goes on. I become reluctantly fond of my villager roomie. Eventually I start referring to them as my “mason husband.” When I come home from the 17th buried treasure map I followed for shits and giggles, there is my mason husband, sleeping next to me as always. When I get back from trying to figure out how the different terracotta pieces fit together, there is my mason husband. I made this sandbox world years ago, and my mason husband has been there the whole time.

Then. Recently. While doing some cleaning I accidentally break the beds. Not realizing the damage I’d done, I just put down new ones. My mason husband does not come home that night. Nor the next. Nor the next. Eventually I go out looking for them.

Of course, the rest of the village is FULL of beds. Beds I put down years ago trying to get rid of them. Beds I kept once I realized villagers actually breed and make new villagers.

Not wanting anyone to sleep outside, I mostly put these beds in existing villager structures. I find my mason husband sleeping next to the village librarian. I got my initial wish. I am alone in my bed at home. The finger of the monkey’s paw curls inwards.

Logically, I know that all I have to do is break that one too, and remove all other open beds in the village. But I can’t force them to be my mason husband, not when it was I that broke our marital bed. I know villagers don’t have long memories, but I can’t help but feel like they’d know. I’m no homewrecker. I have to accept my mason husband’s new life. I don’t visit the librarian for anything anyway.

But I can’t bring myself to get rid of the other bed in my house. It sits there, reminding me of what I’ve lost. What I pushed away. I’ve gotten so used to the sight of two beds - the rest of the house is structured around them. At some point over the years, I stopped thinking about my little village house as just mine - it also belongs to my mason husband. I can’t bring myself to break their bed again. Just in case. Just in case the librarian kicks them out or something, even though I know now that that’s not how villagers work.

I don’t want answers. I don’t want cheats or hacks. Over the years I personified my mason husband to such a degree that it feels wrong not to honor their choice. I can’t wind back time - I’ve made so much progress on other projects, and also I’m not great at computers and wouldn’t know where to start. I just have to let my mason husband live their best life, even if it doesn’t involve me.

god, im fuckin lonely. I need more friends.

#storytime #story #original post #minecraft

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