#i am so inactive i doubt anyone will see this but if they do then GO READ THIS its so wonderful the vibes are so lovely

[isa-ghost]

Attention JSE Community: Important

PLEASE REBLOG

This will probably blow up in my face, but something needs to be said. Besides, anyone who comes after me for this supports genocide, so. Whatever. Free blocklist if anyone sends me hate anons.

There's a person in the community, who runs a few blogs you may know, which you'll want to block if a) you're Palestinian or b) you wholeheartedly oppose the genocide taking place against them. I'm going to provide context, then list the blogs you'll want to block.

Back in November or so, when I first started reblogging pro-Palestine posts, I as an American wasn't as informed at the time about the war going on as I am now. Like any sensible American, I fully expected that any major media source I'd be given info from would be feeding me propaganda or just lies in general. (I'm right but I digress). As soon as I started reblogging pro-Palestine posts, I got concerned asks from two anonymous Israeli people who were formerly veteran followers of mine (one had been following me for at least 6 years). I thought their concern was reasonable, given I doubted the media sources I'd be most likely to get information from. I offered to let them correct me if I reblogged misinformation, assuming America would lie to me about both sides of the war, because of course I want to ensure I'm not perpetuating misinfo.

Mind you, I only reblogged 3 types of pro-Palestine posts: charity signal boosts, posts BY Palestinians, and videos of actual literal real life footage of proof or interviews about what Israeli forces are doing to Palestine and its people.

The anons I was getting started getting angrier, more aggressive, and guilt-trippy. I'm not sure which post was their last straw, but either the main anon (the one following me 6+ years) or BOTH anons I had previously heard from attacked me in my askbox calling me antisemitic and saying other nasty things because I was supporting Palestine. The main anon guilt-tripped me and straight up claimed Israel is not harming Palestine whatsoever, in other words denying the genocide is happening. Then they unfollowed me. This person owns the blogs I'm going to list to you.

I haven't heard from this main anon or the other one on Tumblr since, however they both were, until recently, also in a JSE Community theorist server I mod in, and recently blew up in there after the server mods declared their support for Palestine. The server owners AND the mods have been getting hate anons from Zionists (presumably the two anons sending multiple asks) for the last few days because of it, just like I did when I kept reblogging pro-Palestine posts.

One of the two anons, I'm unsure which, also owned a blog called @/hamas-is-isis, which is now inactive and/or deleted. You can still block the blog regardless just to be safe. Whichever anon didn't own the blog was reblogging its posts. So both anons supported the blog to say the least.

NOTE: DO NOT INTERACT WITH THESE BLOGS. ONLY BLOCK THEM. THIS POST IS NOT INTENDED TO CAUSE HARASSMENT, ONLY AWARENESS.

The main anon, the one denying the genocide is happening, owns the following blogs, two of which are/were major community blogs (which is why I'm fully expecting this to blow up in my face somehow).

@/theoristsden

@/hug-bot

@/aceofspades-lena (this is the main anon & possibly the owner of @/hamas-is-isis)

I strongly urge anyone who sees this post to block them, because I and at least 6 other people I will not name to avoid them getting harassed further, have witnessed this person being legitimately malicious towards Palestine and the topic of it. Again, they sent me an ask denying that Israel was hurting Palestinian people.

The second anon, the server mods realized today, had previously been sending subtle Islamophobic dogwhistle art in the server. We didn't catch it until after it came out that they're Zionists. Obviously, for any members of the server who see this that may be concerned, the mods have now deleted that art. The following blogs are theirs and I'm urging anyone who sees this to block them too:

@/phantomhunt

@/spacetimesystem

On the spacetimesystem blog, there are other sideblogs they listed in their pinned post if you want to go as far as to block those too.

I won't share it on this post, but the mods of the server I mentioned have screenshot proof of some of the hate anons that have been sent (I don't have any of the ones I got months ago unfortunately), as well as some other things these two have said. We also have a screenshot of the art.

I also want to mention, we found them discussing the idea of making a JSE community space that would "accept them." If you see Discord invites floating around, be wary. You could unknowingly be joining a Zionist-owned, anti-Palestine server.

Absolutely mind-boggling to me that these two would do all this or be this way when the charity that Sean supported for Thankmas this year is helping Palestinians. Not to mention he just straight up doesn't want hateful people in his community at all. But I digress.

Anyway, I urge you to block the blogs I listed. At least one of them is genuinely malicious and has attacked multiple people on anon over voicing support for Palestine. The other made art that implied Palestinians are monsters.

Free Palestine, and stay safe.

And once more: DO NOT INTERACT WITH THE LISTED BLOGS. ONLY BLOCK. I AM NOT MAKING THIS POST LOOKING TO GET ANYONE HARASSED.

#jacksepticeye #jse community

[writingforatwistedworld]

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsession, stalking, murder, violence, threats, obsessive behavior, religion, possessive behavior

Rook Hunt/Silver-Voicelines about you, the Overseer

What is your impression of the Overseer?

“Perfection absolue! There is no being within our nor any other world capable of coming close to their everlasting beauty! There is no one that culd deny their everblooming kindness, their neverending gracefullness! I do believe though that they are despite all of that a kind and gentle soul, their gaze never clouded by pride. Comme c'est humble! If there was ever a moment anyone ever dared to question them I shall hunt them down as the Overseers relyable hunter!”

The view of your homeland, what is your opinion on that?

“Absolument horrible! How disgracefull! To only see them as a symbol for equality, something they always preach but never really inact, is an insult! The Overseer is someone who is not only absolutely perfect on the outside but also harbours knowledge of different worlds! How could they be something as simple as a symbol? A mere symbol!”

What would you do if you were ever to meet them?

“Prove my neverending loyalty and gratitude, their gaze simply gracing me for a split second is already kindness enough for me! The dear Overseer is someone whom we should all respect on the highest level so no hardships shall stand in our way as beings of this world to prove that we are most enamoured with them. Although, I probably would not be able to go hunting again. After all, someone needs to look after them. I would like to take over that part. Alone.”

What is your impression of the Overseer?

“Fa-Lilia has told me that they are a most kind individual, their grace alone allowing us to live in such a calm and beautiful world by guiding the great seven. Thus I am most thankful for them nurturing this world until now. Whenever I hear about the stories how they guided those that shaped our world into what it is today I feel blessed. What an honor to be born in the world of such an kind God. Unbelieveable that there were once people who wanted to get rid of them and claim their throne for themselves.”

The view of your homeland, what is your opinion on that?

“I am most proud with the way my home treats the Overseer. The Isle of Woes is known to also see them as a God but I am not sure how exactly. However, I would say that they are the only ones who get at least somewhat close to our standarts. Other pllaces are known for thinking that our way of thinking is too radical, too extreme. I have to digress though. The Overseer is someone who deserves the absolute most of our respect and devotion. I hope you will understand my view one day. After all, if you were to go up against them I would not hesitate to strike you down.

What would you do if you were ever to meet them?

I highly doubt that I would even be awake when we first meet. They would probably walk through a hallway whilst I fell asleep. Once I would be able to greet them however, I would ensure their absolute safety. Lilia has told me that there might be still some that bear ill will towards them. As such, I see it as my responsebility to keep them safe. Do tell me, what is your opinion on them? Huh? You want to know why I ask? My father told me to be always vigilant, even if the person in front of me seems safe. Who knows, maybe you are one of the weeds I need to get rid of.

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x reader #self aware au #twts #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst rook x reader #twst rook #twst silver #twst silver x reader #twisted wonderland rook #twisted wonderland silver #rook hunt x reader #rook x reader #yandere rook #yandere rook hunt #yandere rook x reader #yandere silver #yandere silver x reader #tw: yandere #tw: obsession #tw: stalking #tw: murder #tw: violence #tw: threats #tw: obsessive behavior #Tw: religion #tw: possessive behavior

[drdemonprince]

genuine question, I get why blaming people who have just caught covid for it is some fucked up victim blaming bullshit, and highly analogous to shaming ppl who've gotten an STI, but is it okay to assign blame/responsibility to people who *give* others covid? it seems to me that just like with STIs (particularly HIV and HSV bc they're not curable) its your responsibility as like, a person who has sex and isn't a total asshole, to do a reasonably good job of knowing whether you have these things, and then either give people who might catch it from you the ability to consent knowing that, or only interact with people in such a way that transmission is highly unlikely. In other words, having or getting an infection is morally neutral, but failing to break the chain of transmission isn't, especially when that failure results from complete inaction/ignoring the problem, as opposed to *attempting* to break it and failing due to factors outside your control. I've seen people saying that beleiving this is the same as slut shaming people who get STIs, and tbh that seems ridiculous to me, but what do you think? is "if you have covid and pass it on to someone, especially by going around in public without a mask, you are morally responsible for the harm the disease causes them" incorrect/going to backfire in some way I'm not seeing? I do get how the same statement about HIV is not good, but also you can't give someone HIV by eating in the same restaurant, so it seems like there are some important differences.

The passage on moralizing HIV transmission in Sarah Schulman's book Conflict is Not Abuse is a real stand-out passage in an otherwise (to me) highly underwhelming tome -- because Schulman has been involved in AIDS activism since its early days and is very conversant in the laws that have been used to incarcerate gay men and others for having the virus, and for supposedly passing it along to other people.

We can philosophize all we want about how wrong it would be for a person to knowingly go about infecting other people, but when we're actually dealing with how such matters go in the real world, it's not a useful moral or practical question. How do we know that someone knows they have the virus? Do we consider a person morally culpable if they have the sniffles but brush it off, not realizing it's something more serious? What about an Autistic person or trauma survivor with alexithymia, who is not closely attuned with their body states? If I can walk around with a bleeding gash on my leg for hours or a bloody UTI and not know it, I can have a mild cold and not know it. Am I too blame for spreading the virus then? What about someone who does know they have COVID but has no legal protections in their workplace and no financial support and determines they have no choice but to do a shift at the grocery store, because otherwise they'll be fired and at risk of homelessness?

These might sound like extreme examples, but we're talking about collectively millions of people's everyday experiences here. If a person is at fault for any disease that they spread, what then? What logically follows from that declaration? Should we make knowing transmission illegal? We've already seen in history how such a policy is used to terrorize and oppress gay men. It's an impossible thing to enforce, because someone's knowledge state is impossible to fully know or surveil, especially when we're not, you know, providing tests to anyone in any kind of systematic way, and in fact our government and most of our employers are actively discouraging us from testing or knowing too much.

Of course, I doubt that you actually want any kind of legal policy like that very much. I'm certain what you are really asking about is what responsibilities we should reasonably expect individual people to hold. And the answer is, well, look at how they are holding them now! Clearly people do not have adequate support at the moment to even be cognizant of their status. It's not a useful question. It just isn't. If we were providing free tests every day at major public access points and legally protecting people's rights to call off sick whenever they did test positive, and paying them lost wages, then we could talk about people being irresponsible and knowingly spreading a disease out of malice or laziness. but we don't have any of that, so we can't.

The solution to a population failing to take the "right" actions is always to look at the external factors that makes taking the right action hard. And right now? Being responsible surrounding covid is very, very hard. We can condemn every person who spreads COVID (or HIV) to another person morally all we like, but it's not going to save lives, and it's going to harm a lot of vulnerable people in the process, so why do it? Why not instead ask ourselves what we can do as a society to help make it easier for a person to behave in pro-social ways?

[bunnykawa]

bugbear (atsumu x f. reader)

summary: Atsumu swears that you’re up to no good.  a/n: a concept sent in by an anon ages ago <3 loved the idea so much i decided to expand on it. AND YES I KNOW I’M HERE AFTER 2 YEARS OF INACTIVITY  warnings/tags: 18+, yandere themes, noncon/dubcon/rape, cheating, manipulation, paranoia, gaslighting, toxic relationships, abusive language, violence, is this angsty?  this is honestly just red flags everywhere

Atsumu feels like he’s going crazy. 

He hates it, especially when you seem to be completely innocent. You’re living life normally, practicing your usual routine as you go about your day—and here’s poor Atsumu, wanting to rip his hair out beside you in bed every single damn night, desperately looking through your phone with bloodshot eyes for any evidence that he’s not the only one you’ve been with. How many times has he done this? He can’t count the amount of times even if he tried. 

Yet every single time he snoops, he finds nothing. But there’s no doubt that you’re doing something. He knows it. It may seem like you’ve been the same as you have always been, but Atsumu knows.

He knows from how different your body has been moving recently. Maybe it’s the swing in your hips that seemed more pronounced than usual, making his stomach flutter and his crotch feel warm. He loves the way you move, but he knows that something is off with how you only move that way when you come home and when Atsumu has his teammates over. He grits his teeth every time he notices it and the only words that flash through his mind are why the fuck are you acting like that?

“You’re being ridiculous, ‘Tsumu!” you insisted, “I don’t understand where this is coming from all of a sudden!” Atsumu can’t force you to admit that you’ve been acting like a whore—he’s so damn frustrated that you won’t—so he can’t do anything else but stare you down as you prance around the apartment trying to seduce his teammates.

He knows from the way you speak, too. Why does your voice go up a pitch when you’re talking to his beloved twin brother? Osamu would never betray him like that, right? When he walked into your kitchen during a small hangout with his friends and you were giggling like a little school girl to whatever Osamu said (and he’s pretty sure that Osamu isn’t even that funny), Osamu just brushed it off and ignored how much more attentive you were, right? 

“I am not flirting with your brother, ‘Tsumu!” you laughed it off like you always did, “You’re way more handsome than ‘Samu is!” 

And he’s just forced to believe you? That you’ve actually been completely loyal to only him? When even Sakusa from his volleyball team, quiet and with the same social skills of a boring brick wall, has been eyeing you down whenever he comes over, and you’re acting like you /want/ him to fuck you? Sakusa—of all people—you want Sakusa Kiyoomi? 

But you tell him that he’s being crazy. You don’t want anyone but him. Every little thing that he’s been picking up on, is him just misunderstanding the situation and letting his jealousy and insecurities get to him. 

Why would you cheat on him in the first place when your lives are completely entwined to include each other on a daily basis? Why would you cheat on him when you love him so much that you get up early every morning to make breakfast for him? You would never ever in a million years even think of laying in bed with someone other than Atsumu. You love him.

“Atsumu, are you okay?” you ask, leaning comfortably on the armrest of the couch, dressed in nothing but one of his practice jerseys and your underwear. The lights are turned off in the living room, but Atsumu can see your figure because of the TV playing your favorite show. Atsumu is breathing heavily as he stares you down from the front door. The harshness of his gaze almost makes you flinch—still, you stay in place, awaiting his next move. 

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” he spits out with venom laced in his words. You look at him, shocked, so very confused, and slightly annoyed at his tone of voice because what the hell could he be talking about this time?

“What?” is what you were going to say.

Before you could say anything at all, the same shit that he’s heard countless times, Atsumu pulls you up by your hair, forcing a piercing scream from your lungs, and slams you on the tiled ground in front of the couch. 

Your scalp burned from the sudden grip—it almost feels like he ripped your hair out of your head—but the worst pain was the pounding in the back of your skull. You can barely hear the TV anymore; the noises of your favorite show are drowned out by the ringing in your ears. 

The whole place is spinning as you lay motionless on the ground for a few seconds, unable to comprehend what just happened to you. The pain is sharp and instantaneous. You're scared that if you move, you might hurt yourself even more and cause more damage.

You let out a wheezed breath as your eyes struggle to focus on anything. Atsumu stands over you, the left side of his face slightly illuminated by the TV. You’re surprised by how much hatred is present in his eyes—he used to look at you like you were all he ever had. But he’s tired of everything; the lies, the secrets, everything. He knows. He’s clenching his fists, observing your small movements, wondering if everything you were doing behind his back was worth it. 

Atsumu gets down and kneels between your legs. He seems even bigger than you remember. You feel like you’re drowning as you look up at him, dazed from the impact. Weakness is engulfing your body and your throat is so heavy and everything is just getting blurrier and wow, he smells so good, like home despite what he just did to you—

And then you hear it. The air is suddenly so cold.  The force of Atsumu’s strength lifts your hips up momentarily before you come crashing down on cold tiles. You hear the fabric of your panties rip away from your body and watch as it disappears behind Atsumu’s head. He’s fumbling with the drawstring of his shorts before he pushes them down, exposing his beautiful tanned skin. 

“You deserve every fucked up thing that’s coming to you, you dirty bitch.”

But you don’t. His words fade into nothing as they echo in your mind. 

“I hate you. I fucking hate you.”

Adrenaline begins to pump in your veins—every muscle in your body is telling you to run. Panic is settling in your chest. What is he trying to do?

Run away. This shouldn’t be happening to you. Atsumu is supposed to love you. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Run away. You don’t deserve this. You don't want this. Run the fuck away before he—

He pushes the tip of his cock between your folds and a burning sensation erupts at your entrance. Then for a second, everything goes quiet. 

Everything feels familiar. Atsumu and you lock eyes, like you used to do in such an intimate position like this. You're suddenly aware that his hands are on both sides of your head, supporting his weight above you. He would usually give you a kiss on your forehead before he would fuck you so hard and make you cum all over him and leave you legs pathetically shaking. God, you want to cry. You want to yell in his stupid face and fuck him up and rip his hair out until his scalp burns like yours.

Atsumu always tells you he loves you. But if he loves you so much, then how the fuck did you end up in this position?

“Get off of me!” you scream at the top of your lungs. Your legs are kicking wildly, your hands are punching, slapping, scratching at whatever you can reach, your head is spinning more than you thought it would. The pain in your skull is unbearable. Atsumu hisses when your nails snag at his skin, definitely leaving a few marks across his cheek and neck.

But no matter what you do, you can’t stop him. Atsumu grabs your wrists and pins them down to the floor. You’re sobbing uncontrollably as he overpowers you. You cry louder, “Stop! Fucking stop!” 

Then he forces himself inside you. 

Completely.

It’s another sharp pain that pierces through your core and makes your body jerk violently. You’re trying to hopelessly pull away from him. 

But he still smells like home. And it makes your stomach churn in so much disgust that you feel like you could throw up. Atsumu pulls his hand back and smacks you in the face, forcing your head to the side. He holds you down once again, but this time it’s by your throat. 

At this point, you’d be better off dead. A part of you is praying that he would just end your life already. But his grip isn’t hard enough to kill you, and instead of tightening his fingers around your fragile neck—

He starts moving. Slowly, painfully, his cock invade your insides, filling you up inch by inch, and then pulling out until you feel empty again. You feel relief for a moment, until he fills you back up again.

And again.

And again.

“Please,” you gasp. You hold onto his hands around your neck. Your body is attempting to move away instinctually, but you can’t. It’s a fucking nightmare. You feel so raw on the inside as he tears you apart. 

“I don’t wanna hear nothin’ from you anymore,” he says through gritted teeth, tightening his grip around your neck. And when Atsumu quickens his speed, you feel your brain turning into mush. 

It’s all your fault. The memories are flooding back in, even if you’ve tried to hold them back. It’s hard to forget.

Osamu was fun. Although seemingly quieter than Atsumu at first glance, he was just as chaotic as his twin. They were basically built the same. Same face, same muscles, same level of attractiveness that you wanted to take a bite out of.

He even knew how to cook! You couldn't help it. Once he brushed his hand across your waist while passing by you that one day he came over to visit—fuck, it was impossible to resist. It was like laying with Atsumu, but it was still so different. 

There was just something so, so delicious about being on top of Osamu while he squeezed your ass, slamming you down onto his cock. You found out how different Osamu really was from his twin that day. 

Your cunt tightens around Atsumu’s thick cock involuntarily. 

What’s wrong with you? 

It’s suddenly becoming easier for Atsumu to move inside you. He watches as your lips begin to part and your eyelids droop again. The wetness coming from you is pooling around the base of his shaft in a sticky mess. 

Sakusa was fun, too. For someone so stoic and distant from most people, who avoided crowds as if they were the bane of his existence, he had no issues getting closer to you. Wide shoulders, tiny waist—the excitement you felt as you ran your fingers across his hard chest was something you’ve never felt before.

 It was exhilarating—his hands felt so good around your throat while he was on top, pounding his cock into your cunt like you were nothing but a pussy, a pair of tits, and some legs. Underneath that face mask was a man who truly knew how to treat a woman.

It felt good.

In fact, it feels good. 

It feels so fucking good. 

“Are- Are you fuckin’ likin’ this?” Atsumu asks, narrowing his brown eyes at you. His voice brings you back to reality—that’s when you realize that he slowed his movements down to a halt and his hands were no longer around your neck, but back to where they used to be. Yes, your head was pounding. Yes, your entire body was hurting. Yes, you were absolutely guilty of everything Atsumu was accusing you of.

But, fuck, did Atsumu’s cock feel better than anything in the world right now, pulsating deep in your pussy and covered in your cream. You shiver as the cold air hits the wetness spread on your thighs.

“Fuck me,” you whimper, although it hurt to even speak. He was gobsmacked, looking down at your trembling figure and seeing the despair in your eyes. His heart is almost beating out of his chest. 

“What?” 

Cries begin to fall from your lips. With all your energy, you grab onto his forearms and try to pull him down towards you. 

“Fuck me!” you beg, clawing at him, “Please! Please, ‘Tsumu. I’m so sorry. Just fuck me.”

He hasn’t heard you beg like this in so long. Despite how fucked up the situation was dawning on him, he realizes that he still misses you.

“What the hell,” he mutters under his breath before he grabs you by your hips and starts to plow into your heat with most of his strength. You’re so hot down there—your body heat is burning his cock up and making him want to absolutely destroy you. Atsumu’s cock is so deep inside you that it kisses the entrance of your swollen cervix, forcing another scream out of you followed by a sickening moan that sends shivers down his spine.

“Your pussy is chokin’ the fuck outta my cock,” he hisses. 

You’re moaning his name with every inch of your soul. The pleasure is almost unbearable. Your insides are convulsing with every thrust and the tightness is forming in your insides. Every time the base of his cock meets your cunt, you begin to squeeze and clench your muscles, desperate for him to fill you up.

“Fuck, it’s so good, ‘Tsumu,” you moan, “I love you. I love your cock.” The stretch is absolutely tantalizing—your tongue is lolling out between your lips and your eyes are rolling to the back of your head.

Your words are sticking to his brain and it makes his chest ache. His head dips low, but the drops of water on your chest expose his feelings. Atsumu was always in touch with his emotions, but you barely saw him cry. He begins to slow down again and you really wish that he would just keep going. 

“Is that what you said to them, too?” he whispered, biting his lip to stop himself from breaking down. You shake your head and lightly smack his forearms.

“Keep-,” you suck in a breath, “going. Please. I need to cum.”

“But you still fucked ‘em like I mean nothin’ to you.” His bottom lip is shaking now. But you…you don’t care. For fuck’s sake, Atsumu. Your high is so close, you want to cry yourself. 

He continues to ramble about how much he loves you, how he would do anything for you, that nothing hurts more than finding out he was right about everything, wanting it to all be fake until Osamu and Sakusa were laughing about something and he overheard them—

“I didn’t cheat!” you weep, tears streaming down your cheeks and making you sticky. Everything is so sticky. “Why the fuck are you stopping?! I wanna cum! I promise I didn’t cheat on you!”

Lying through your own damn teeth. Atsumu doesn’t believe you anymore—you’re a liar, no matter what you say in an attempt to convince him. But how can he ever let you go? He physically hurt you in his blind rage, said disgusting things to you, took you without your consent—the realization overcomes him and he shivers in repugnance, putting his face into his hands. 

You cheated. It’s a fact that you think of and fantasize about every single day. It’s something that has rotted Atsumu’s brain into anger, hatred, and resentment. He was never enough for you. You always had your eyes set on other men, yet you stayed with him, torturing his very existence. 

“You’re such a fuckin’ slut,” he sobs, “but I still love you. You’re everythin’ to me.” Then he bends down, grabs you, and holds you close to him with his fingers weaving through your hair. You can’t remember the last time he held you like this.

The sudden influx of emotions washes over you wildly. Your head still hurts. Your world is spinning with terrible confusion, but at the same time—

Exhaustion. Shame. Guilt. 

“I’m sorry.” His tears are soaking your hair. Strands are sticking to the side of your face. His heaves are violent and you can feel every shake of his body against yours. He almost sounds like the Atsumu he used to be. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Then he continues his assault on your cunt, ravaging your insides until you’re squirting, drenching him in your juices and creating a mess on your floor. You’re crying out for him, squeezing his biceps tight and allowing the pleasure to finally overcome your entire being. It’s quick—it knocked the wind out of you—but it’s enough for peace to cloud your brain. 

He sticks his face in the crevice of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent mixed with sweat and tears. You’re still home to him. 

And as he stuffs his face into your neck, you sigh deeply. 

Relief.

#haikyuu smut #yandere haikyuu x reader #yandere haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #yandere haikyuu oneshots #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu miya smut #miya atsumu smut #atsumu #yandere haikyuu smut #yandere haikyuu imagines

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

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⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

#now... #is it extra if i change my theme right before i leave for an indefinite period of time? #... #it's never stopped me before! #also i hate this knock-off twitter layout i wanna burn it all down #why can't i put a real line in my text posts anymore i-- #i take it all back #the tumblr changes are the reason i'm on hiatus #>:| #kspice.text

[terrifictomholland]

I know everyone thinks I’ve disappeared (I pretty much have, but I actually wrote something! Sliiightly based off of a conversation me and my bf had not too long ago, it’s a complete fluff piece. But with our favourite Tom instead of my bf, or no one would read (maybe you’re not judging by how inactive I am on here lmao 😂✌🏻) anyway, almost 11pm blurbs - here you are 😊

Idk if anyone is even here anymore and not on a hiatus or have completely abandoned ship but some of my mutuals - here you are @spidey-sophie @worldoftom @stuckonspidey @tetralea @duskholland @userholland

—————

You unlocked the door to your shared flat, stepping inside to the sounds of mugs clinking about, an audiobook playing and Tom humming a song to himself. No doubt being in the midst of making some tea.

“Honey, I’m home!” you sing sang only for his face to pop out from the doorway leading from the kitchen to the hallway. “Hi cakes!” He grinned, “you want a cuppa?”

You took off your shoes, placing them neatly beside his. “Yeah sure hun, just going to the bathroom! Give me a moment!” You quickly went inside the bathroom doing your business and coming out after drying your hands.

Sneaking up behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist. You felt his sculpted back and shoulder blades underneath your touch through his cosy-looking hoodie.

“How’s your day been?” You murmured, lips pressing against the back of his neck, sensing the shiver that ran through him.

“It’s been good, haven’t done too much - did some tidying up and took some garbage out.” He said swiftly turning sideways to fully wrap you up in his strong and safe arms.

“Oh, thank you,” you positively beamed hearing that. If there was one thing you absolutely despised it was taking out the garbage. Such a hideously boring task.

“You talked in your sleep again,” you laughed thinking back on early this morning before you left for work. He tightened his hold on you. “Oh yeah? What was it this time then?”

“That your team apparently sucked so hard, they aren’t getting any of the 4 blocks of chocolate. We’ll be keeping them all to ourselves.” You cackled seeing the way Toms cheeks turned pink before he burst out into hysterical laughter. “Well that sucks for them, not for us though,” he grinned.

For a second he let go of you to throw the teabags into the sink. “Oh come on,” you complained seeing where he threw the tea bags. He simply shushed you with a kiss.

“Come join me on the couch, what do you fancy watching?” He was already on his way to the living room and you had no other choice but to follow him.

“I’m not too bothered,” you said tucking your legs under you in the couch. Tom sitting right beside you giving you a sweet smile.

“I’ve missed you,” to hear those words made your heart swell, “I’ve missed you more,” and his eyes softened with a much smaller smile, but the one he always reserved just for you, on these moments where it was just the two of you in your own little world.

“Do you fancy watching Mindhunter?” You asked after you took a sip of your peach and mango black tea. No milk, no sugar - just some honey in it.

“The FBI show?” And you nodded, he shrugged and turned the TV on, going to Netflix to search for the show.

After a good while of watching the second episode, you snuggled up against Tom’s chest, playing with the strings of his hoodie. His steady heartbeat soothing and calming you right down.

“Do you ever think about what our song is, Tom? Like that one song every couple has?” You asked quietly feeling him run a hand through your hair.

“Sometimes, which song do you think is ours?” His voice laced with curiosity now. You took a moment to ponder over his question.

“For me, spontaneously I’d have to say ‘Photograph’ by Ed,” you landed on, “I feel that song has stuck with us through thick and thin,” you added and felt his lips on your forehead. “Yeah I agree, Ed’s been there for us a lot hasn’t he?” He joked and you buried your face in his clothed chest, laughter bubbling out of you.

“He sure has,” you lifted your head up, looking into his eyes, just getting lost in those brown eyes, the longer slightly curly hair at the ends that framed his defined face so well.

“Do you ever think about the day when we get married? Like, our first song to dance too?” You mumbled slightly embarrassed now that you had exposed the thought of being married to Tom.

The tiniest of smiles played at his lips, eyes glittering ever so slightly, “yeah I do,” he said almost nonchalantly and your eyebrow lifted at that. “Oh?”

“How could I not? It’s gonna happen one day, don’t you worry,” he smiled matter-of-factly, stealing a kiss from you. “What song would you choose?” He mumbled pulling away from your lips ever so slightly, still close enough for his breath to land on your face.

“You’re Still the One by Shania Twain,” you said embarrassingly fast and his lips formed a massive smile. “Play it for me, please.” he urged handing you his phone.

Soon enough, the intro to You’re Still the One started up and you revelled at being in his arms, hearing the song you hopefully danced to one way day in the future, wearing a pretty tux and a beautiful dress.

“I’m feeling really vulnerable right now,” you whispered as to not ruin your moment with the song still playing in the background. “Why?” He whispered back, placing two fingers under your chin gently, to meet his gaze.

“Because I’m exposing such a deep and private part of me, to you for you the best my innermost truest feelings for you - and as much as I love you, it’s still scary to put all of this trust and love in your hands although I know you’d never do anything to hurt me or in any way jeopardise my love for you.” You got out, your eyes turning misty as did Toms at your confession.

“Thank you darling for letting me hear your innermost personal song, but I think it describes us perfectly and I’d be more than honoured to dance our first dance to this song.” His smile could have lightened up ten thousands miles, your heart about to burst with love for this man. Knowing how precious you were to him, for him to treat your feelings so respectfully it meant everything to you.

“I love you, those words aren’t even close to describing the way I really feel about you but they’ll have to do - though I’m more of a shower on how I feel, you know that.” a lone tear spilled over your cheek as you poured your heart out to him and all he did was smile that special smile just for you.

“I love you too, more than words could ever mean,”

#my rambles #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #does anyone actually read tags anymore?

[the-head-ancho-chilli]

Kyojuro General Headcannons

Sorry for the inactivity, I only just got settled into my uni dorm yesterday so I was super busy. Struggled to keep this general for him bc I am absolutely down bad for this man. Enjoy ^^

Word count: 900~

Everyone knows that Kyojuro is a foodie but rarely does anyone consider the actual ramifications behind that

First of all, not only does he know the best food in town, but he knows how to get as much bang for your buck

Can and will pull you away from the main marketplace and lead you to a small store where they serve better okonomiyaki for the same price as the one in the main market

Secondly, he hates coffee

This dude is already energetic as fuck, he doesn’t need extra caffeine

Kyojuro once drank coffee because Mitsuri bought it for him (he was too nice to say no)

Next thing everyone knew, Kyojuro finished three piles of paperwork, cleaned the entire house, built a new shed in the yard, and fixed the neighbour's fence

Third, he is one of the BEST people to eat with

Do you eat too quickly or slowly? He won't judge at all!

Stuffing your cheeks while you munch on your food happily? He thinks it cute!

Eating your food in a particular order? Won't ever disturb you about it!

Kyojuro knows better than anyone that people can get insecure by their eating habits, which is why he does all he can to let everyone eat comfortably

Truly values that everyone should eat because food is fuel and how important it is to enjoy how or what you eat

Food is his love language

The one thing Kyojuro won't stand is if you hold cutlery weird

If you grip your utensils with a whole fucking fist he might actually get up and walk away

He can't STAND that shit

While on the topic of insecurities, Kyojuro has some of his own

He won’t show it but Kyojuro’s self conscious about how visible his excitement is

Kyojuro’s smile is 98% of the time genuine, but he tries to give off the impression that people staring at him isn’t bothering at all

The stares he gets from talking, eating, or simply existing in public with his winning smile and his eye-catching clothing makes him feel exposed

Mainly because he knows that a decent portion of the people don’t have good intentions with their constant gaze

Kyojuro doesn't like talking about it because he doesn't want to change; he loves himself the way he is

He just wished that others were more understanding

On a more wholesome note, due to how long Kyojuro and Tengen have been friends, they both keep secrets from you

They say it's for a good reason and you believed them, until you found out that one of those secrets is that Kyojuro knows how to breakdance

"That was so long ago! I have not practised in so long that I fear I may injure others or myself... Perhaps another time?"

He is kinda embarrassed about it, mainly because he has a slight case of performance anxiety

Which speaking about performances, Kyojuro LOVES the performing arts

Theatre, films, dance, music, fights and battles, you name it

Kyojuro is always to find the beauty and appreciation for them, and they always get his blood pumping

But he's also a history nerd, don't get me wrong

"I have learned something new today! Would you like to hear about the empty fort battle strategy? I have found a tale of it in this book, it's quite clever!"

Kyojuro loves learning about new things, and sometimes just needs to vomit info about his favourite interests

Though it goes without saying that Kyojuro would without a doubt do the same thing, so feel free to ramble about what you like as well!

He thinks its entertaining just listening to you and he will be sure to ask you questions

Seeing you happy makes him happy :)

But even a well rounded guy like Kyojuro has his own weaknesses

You would think you couldn't trust him with foods, but it's actually the opposite since he really respects food and eating as a whole

Actually you can't trust him to do operate any mode of transportation

Do not let him in the driver's seat

Keep him away from the captain's wheel on a boat

And do NOT let him ride a horse without you or a trusted adult holding the reigns

It's not because he looses direction of where he's going, what really causes an issue here is how his kindness and his passion are visibly fighting for control in his mind

Either you're sitting there for so long because he keeps letting people pass even if he has the right of way, or he goes into reckless abandon and just put on a GO GO GO attitude

"ONWARDS! We have places to be and things to do!" "Kyojuro, we are going to crash soon if you keep this up!"

Passenger Prince (for everyone's safety)

To wrap this up, Kyojuro's actual love language is quality time spent

As an extrovert, he will try and do everything to do things together if it means passing time with you

"Are you going to the grocery store? I shall accompany you! We are running low on snacks anyways"

Kyojuro can't help but insist on carrying your groceries home (and maybe try to pay for them too)

Overall, Kyojuro is an absolute delight to have around but he has his own struggles too

Please be gentle with him :)

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚

Hey everyone! I had this in my drafts for so long because tumblr decided to delete my progress last week and I was too frustrated to rewrite this all T_T

Another reminder that my inbox is open and I would really love some requests to work on! Please read my request info before submitting anything ^^

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer blog #kny blog #kny hashira #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer hashira #demon slayer headcanons #kny rengoku #kyojuro rengoku #flame hashira #kyojuro fluff #kyojuro x reader #kyojuro x you #rengoku x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader

[littlelcvestory]

thank you @wesperbrekkered for tagging me even though im so inactive on like all my fandom accounts 😭😭😭

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 13 :)

2. What is your AO3 word count?

29,858 words 😭 thats kinda crazy for me ngl

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

my main is six of crows! my ao3 still has my fics from when i wrote solangelo tho lmao

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

sparks fly (whenever you smile) with 268 (wesper)

we were in screaming color with 244 (solangelo)

Doctor Death (god this fic is so old i hate it 😭) with 236 (solangelo)

i wanna teach you how forever feels with 221 (wesper)

time can't stop me quite like you did with 205 (i wrote this for a school assignment, it's from the book they both die at the end)

i strongly dislike this list mainly because of solangelo being on there and how long ago i wrote those fics because theyre really bad now 😭 perhaps leave more kudos on my wesper fics :)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

YES it makes me so happy that people enjoyed what i wrote. i'd like to say it's author fuel but i have not touched any of my fics since august but they ARE author serotonin

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's either time can't stop me quite like you did (because he literally d!es) but none of my SoC fics have angsty endings, because none of them have endings. haha

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhh i'd say it would be i wanna teach you how forever feels purely because it's a cute domestic post-ck wesper

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i dont think im widespread enough to have haters on my fics tbh 😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

nope, i am literally 16 !! although i have written a few very intimate passages but theres also taught you the way you call me baby which is the closest i'll ever get for now

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

my wesper romeo and juliet au like fire and powder that i havent touched since august! this was like my most big brain idea ever but i'm torn between discarding it and starting from scratch or continuing as it is right now

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

i dont think so, and i hope not !

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

no :)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

also no

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 

wesper. next!

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish but doubt you ever will?

THE ROMEO AND JULIET AU I AM CRYING i need to continue it as soon as possible oh lord

16. What are your writing strengths?

not sure tbh! i do find writing dialogue easy but it also leads to my downfall sometimes which i'll explain in the next question

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

inner monologues, because they jump around too much and i eventually stray from the original thought. or anything thats not closely tied to a character ... i'm really strong with character driver things but if you hand me a plot, i'm gonna struggle (which may be why the r&j au is failing LMAO) and how i said with dialogue, it ends up being dry and makes the scene move a little too fast. i'm really bad at slowing down scenes 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? 

never done it before hehe

19. First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson, i think

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

my romeo and juliet au because its the most ambitious thing i ever tried to accomplish. i really want to get back to it because i'm still so intrigued by the idea of it and i was shocked i wrote 10k for the first chapter but it felt like it was being squeezed out of me... i'll do my best to get back to writing i've had insane weiters block (no thanks to school 🙄)

thanks for tagging me rae :) i'm tagging @artsypretzel @jazzythursday and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it :)

#six of crows #fanfic #fanfic author #fanfiction #wesper #wesper fanfiction #wylan van eck #jesper fahey

[blackthornwren]

It’s hard to say where I stand in terms of how I define my practice. If you were looking at me through the lens of witchcraft, there’s very little of the traditional witchcraft that I actually do. This applies to most things, I’m not big on ritual, not big on pomp and circumstance, or formalities. I do things in a simple manner; small gestures and basic methods.

So, while I’m quieter lately, I’m definitely not inactive. I’ve seen things, been shown things that are outside of what I once believed - worldviews have expanded, have shifted and it’s almost like my world imploded. There’s a cosmology that’s revealed itself to me in the past year that doesn’t fit with the traditional definitions of the deities and spirits that I adore and yet…I wound up hearing the very same things I've said and written about privately being repeated back to me during a divination session.

This shift has been much more the precursor to rebuilding my practice from the ground up, now with a focus on trusting in the knowledge I have been given by my spirits and deities. This is all…very difficult to discuss and explain. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m not making much sense to anyone who hasn’t been along for the ride over the past two years and subject to middle of the night ramblings. What I do know is that sometimes just hearing an external confirmation of what you’re seeing and experiencing can remove the blocks of doubt that keep you from immersing yourself fully. And to have that - to have someone outside of you, outside of your circle, with no prior knowledge of your practice start talking about your spirits and their roles…well, it's amazing.

When it comes to what I “do”, pragmatism is a joke. There’s no rhyme or reason for why things have unfolded this way. And right now? I feel like my purpose is to listen and record the spirits stories. I am a part of the land of my home, for better or for worse, and even if I’m gone from here, that very likely won’t change. I am tied to the people and the places, to the local stories and the superstitions. I am intrinsically tied to the uneasy dead, and the violence they endured. They’re always walking with me, they slip around the edges of my life and they lay their hands on me - influencing me in ways that I don’t always realize. Not always here for the long haul, more often than not just passing through.

This is disconcerting and uncomfortable; but also something I had suspected for awhile. What that means for me is that I’m always going to be shifting and changing. I’m following the currents that are calling to me and they take me exactly to where I need to be, exactly when I need to be there. It’s not particularly pleasant to consider, and it’s definitely been a source of isolation and mistrust. I go where I’m needed, I go where I’m pulled - for better or worse.

#wren rambles #personal practice #under the roses #spirit veneration #cosmology #deity veneration

[moonstruck-writing]

the internet

today I saw art on the internet unexpected weird the kind that I had forgotten existed the kind I didn’t allow myself to come near anymore

I grew the child gave way to the adult that now carries too many other adults inside they are not parental figures they taught me to say no to myself so now they don’t need to somehow I grew up to be stricter harsher and I sometimes make myself cry

I’m too dazed to see that the reflection in the mirror is me so I think it is fine berating myself mimicking the violence that grows out of fear they say it’s love I know now it is not only fear to be unlovable abandoned forgotten so I push until my heart resembles minced meat and the brokenness of it all wakes me from the trance

picking up the stumps the crumbs my tears mixing in making it possible to knead and reconstruct but one day the yeast will be deader than inactive and nothing will flourish

the concept of zombies was created centuries ago sounds fake when I recognise the metaphors

I take breaks to peek at others on the internet we take turns to look into each other’s souls I see fragments of the feelings I’ll never forget and they see something that makes us click and type and through electronic components it transforms into a form of addiction the likes and comments trap me inside the hope for connection I know it’s there it must be when I felt it momentarily then I doubt my interpretation

anyone can lie easily on the internet but why would they when they can simply not do anything not give a second thought hop onto the next quick piece of hormone- inducing content

I’m not important when I felt like no one would listen the internet did the internet replied the people inside of it said we want more of that thing you do when you are yourself                            (but only if you want to, feel free to ignore lol) there was no trick only the caveat the is/isn’t real/fictional here/there is blurry like my heart dissolving inside my chest when it’s been too long since the last hug of love and affirmation can I be grateful for people I’ve never met in real life? whose face real name sometimes even age I don’t know

are you sure I am not making them up inside my lonely mind?

@moonstruck-writing April 2nd 2024 - Escapril Day 2

Do NOT repost or use my writing in any way Reblogging is okay

#escapril #escapril 2024 #poets on tumblr #poetry #original poem #original writing #original work #poems on tumblr #poems and poetry #poem #writers and poets

[theminecraftbox]

Just him and Me AU is giving me a bunch of questions about things I’m curious about - most having to do with the other characters

There’s no doubt in my mind that c!Sam breaks c!Dream’s mind. Everything is just perfect for that. But how does it develop besides that?

Will anyone get suspicious? Will c!Sapnap demand entry at some point and how would he act with being turned away? Would he brush it off as understandable and trust c!Sam or would he try to figure out why? In the OG timeline, he didn’t act more when c!Sam started the No-Visitor policy. Will the lack of a first visit change anything about his inaction? Would other characters grow suspicious of the whole thing and would anyone act upon it? Will c!Punz or c!Ranboo (with his memories of course) notice the changes and get concerned? Will the Syndicate be more active and do something?

Based on the whole “Everything is perfect when it’s just him and me” bit from c!Sam that was turned up to max in this AU, the Warden most likely won’t imprison c!Ranboo even if he learns of the allience. But would he do anything else with that info? Will he get more info out of c!Dream and would he share it with others or keep it to himself?

How would a break out happen if there’s no Guard c!Bad that gives the blue prints to c!Ranboo to bury for c!Techno? How would a break out happen if all information is locked tight within the Vault?

And furthermore, if c!Dream gets broken out at some point, how will he continue? When he truly can’t trust what reality is? Would anyone help him? c!Punz probably will. I can see c!Techno also helping him despite no three months bonding time. Enderwalk c!Ranboo if he manages. But what about other’s? More so how does c!Dream act once broken? The submission and obeying behaviour towards c!Sam is one thing. But other than that is it similar to when c!Bad saw him presumably after a torture session? Quiet, silent, shacking with wide eyes. Is it with eyes that make it obvious that c!Dream is not fully there? Is it in a stiff and tense pose or one that lacks any energy? If he’s broken, can he even manage to act as if everything’s fine? Can he even think about acting the way, he would expect himself to months back?

How would c!Sapnap and everyone else react if they learn of what went on in the Vault? c!Ponk presumambly does not end up getting tortured cause c!Sam ‘takes his job more seriously’ but how would their relationship develop with c!Sam’s focus on the Vault? Does c!Sam even do anything besides act as the Warden in this AU? It’s still c!Sam so he would probably still take care of Fran.

Will they learn that c!Sam is from the future?

Your brainrot has infected me. Please share more details. I am craving nourishment.

:)))))) the infection spreads.

/dsmp /rp

all Excellent points of speculation. First, some broad points: a) things about the prison are Pretty Fucking Sketchy in canon and few people actually take action or even get particularly suspicious, b) Dream’s allies seemed to have enough trust in his plan that there wasn’t undue alarm when his escape was delayed, c) the biggest changes are going to come from people who wanted to be heavily involved in the prison and who are now barred—eg Q and Tommy.

Sapnap’s quite upset that he wasn’t given his visit, but he isn’t suspicious of foul play. Sam’s acting weird, but, look, it’s Sam. He knows Sam. And Dream is dangerous, security is important, Sapnap gets it. Sam says Dream’s been a handful, that he keeps making escape attempts. That sounds like Dream. Maybe in a few more months Sam will lighten up and Dream will stop misbehaving and Sapnap can ask again.

Enderboo is concerned that he can’t visit. I’m still deciding exactly what Sam does about what he knows about Ranboo: he’s got confirmation that he and Dream are working together, but he might do the thing he does where he assumes he’s taken care of the problem. After all, he’s cutting Ranboo off from visits. Or he might visit and threaten Ranboo. I don’t think he’d imprison Ranboo because that would prompt Techno and then Phil to get involved, which would lead to the same mess as last time that Sam wants to avoid. (He doesn’t want Ranboo dead, either. He feels the guilt keenly still.)

At some point, Enderboo goes ahead and sets off the TNT anyway, desperate to get some kind of signal to Dream. (Sam isn’t amused. Shenanigans ensue.)

The breakout is tricky and still a work in progress. I think it would be hilariously ironic if Quackity ended up contributing to the jailbreak though.

Punz is concerned by the delay but not unduly so, just like in canon.

Sam is a paranoid bastard who keeps all his information to himself. He trusts no one.

The prison isn’t the only part of the past Sam’s trying to fix. He’s fixing the Egg too. Ponk is… tricky. He tries to fix things with them but his biggest priority is making sure they don’t get the keycards (and that Sam doesn’t ~have to~ cut off their arm), so he certainly tanks the relationship anyway.

Sam’s basically made a spreadsheet of everything in the last year that he thinks went wrong and written a fix next to each item. Check, check, check. He gets shooketh when people start going off script due to the changes he’s made.

#au: just me and him #c!dream and c!sam #torture. #abuse.

[putschki1969]

Luna Haruna announces her departure from Space Craft

I am not typically one to talk about stuff like that but oh well, it’s vaguely related to Kalafina so here we go. Yesterday, Luna Haruna announced on all her official social media accounts that she had officially left her talent agency Space Craft after being signed up with them for 11 years. As we all know, Space Craft is Yuki Kajiura and Kalafina’s former agency, with Wakana being the only member still signed up with them. I actually found it quite interesting to see Luna attend last week’s YK live considering the rather strained relations between Space Craft and everyone from the “YK family” who has left the agency in recent years. While it has never been officially talked about or confirmed it’s very obvious that there is some sort of unwritten non-interaction rule in place that keeps all involved parties from associating with each other in public (hence why we never see Wakana together with Keiko or Hikaru).

Knowing now that Luna is no longer under contract with Space Craft, it makes a lot more sense that she can just openly mingle with members of the YK family without there being any sort of issue(?). Now I am not saying that she wouldn’t have been able to do that before since there is no solid proof she was bound by any rules but it seems very likely if you ask me¯\_(ツ)_/¯We know that Yuuka Nanri briefly appeared together with YK at a Flying Dog event in 2019 so there must be certain loopholes to the Space Craft vs. YK non-interaction clause but other than that, Yuuka Nanri hasn’t been associating with anyone from the YK family in public. And neither has Yuuka up until recently. However, both Luna and Yuuka have been seen together with Wakana quite frequently in the past few years so you can see where “allegiances lie”.

Now what does all of this mean for Wakana? Does it affect her in any way? I have always been open about the fact that I fully support Wakana’s decision to stay with Space Craft. There is no reason to believe that her contract would have run much longer than Keiko’s/Hkaru’s so we must assume that - for whatever reasons - she made the informed choice to extend/renew her contract back in 2018. And honestly, that decision worked out pretty nicely for her for quite some time since Space Craft put a lot of effort into pushing her solo career in the beginning. But we have reached a point where I am no longer seeing a lot of that initial effort (despite various events here and there we haven’t had an official release in a very long time which I find quite alarming). And with all those news in the past few years of people jumping ship and leaving Space Craft, I can’t help but worry about Wakana’s future with the agency. I wonder if her inactivity might indicate that she is also planning her departure (in which case it would make sense for Space Craft to not invest too much in her anymore) but who knows when her contract actually expires...? Also, let’s keep in mind that leaving Space Craft might not have only positive consequences for Wakana, it could actually be quite detrimental to her current career. Taking into account that both Hikaru and Keiko took about a year to be “officially active” in the industry again (with all signs pointing towards some sort of stipulation keeping them from engaging in proper solo activities), we can assume that Wakana might suffer a similar fate...She might be able to avoid all that by becoming an independent artist like Kaori. Kaori is currently not signed up with an agency (which makes her somewhat independent I guess?) and I think that has helped her a lot to simply continue with her work. And I have no doubt that Wakana would immediately be welcomed back into the YK family as soon as her connection to Space Craft ends (maybe not as regular member but surely as treasured guest vocalist). Despite what people may believe based on public appearances, there is absolutely no animosity between Wakana and the YK gang.

Oh well, it’s a lot of speculation and as we all know, I’m not really comfortable with that sort of stuff but I wanted to get it off my chest. What do you think?

#kalafina #wakana #yuki kajiura #kajiura yuki #space craft #luna haruna #haruna luna #random

[muslim-radfems]

Hey idk how up to date you are regarding what’s going on in Israel/Palestine but I wanted to just express my utter sadness and disappointment with some of the feminist responses to this (esp on Twitter). They’re treating anyone who is pro-Palestine as pro-Hamas (saying they’re b*heading babies and committing mass r*** which none has been verified as of yet) and calling many woc / Muslim women as terrorist sympathisers, terrorists, r*** apologists. Even JK Rowling’s tweet (‘now let the snivelling apologists for rape, murder and torture try to justify this [baby story] too’) I’ve always admired her but I’m beyond disappointed with what she wrote. They’re all using these words when they have never, ever said a word about Palestinian women and the horror they go through. They talk about women in the IDF as innocent when they are oppressors. So many women whose work I respected I’m now seeing them stoop to incredibly racist and xenophobic language and it makes me angry, sad and overall dejected. I left this radfem/gf community cause I was feeling inklings of it but now it’s full blown and I don’t want to come back. Women of colour are just victimised campaign fodder for their cause.

My stance presently is the apartheid must end the Palestinians should have their land and statehood back, the movement for Palestinian liberation will involve different factions and no doubt I know violent ones too. That doesn’t change the fact that Palestinians should be free because that is when the violence on both sides will end. Every opportunity at a peaceful resolution to this has been closed, Israel constantly acts with impunity, I cannot in good conscience go on with some pretends of a moral high ground of ‘no violence!!’ from the comfort of my own home when they feel they have no option but to die fighting than die at their hands.

You don’t have to agree with me, I just wanted to share my utter dejection somewhere. Thanks for reading.

Hey i am so sorry ive been very inactive on this page for a while now.

I do agree with you and think a lot of the radfem community is adopting a very black and white stance on this issue. And being contrarian for the sake of being so.

Obviously rape is wrong. Murder of innocent people is wrong. But to say that Palestinians should stop fighting for their lives and that people who support them are rape apologists and terrorist sympathaizers is just supporting the genocide of an entire population and the rape and murder of yet a whole lot of people.

Women who actually want to condemn these horrible acts should, in my opinion, treat it as one of the universal problems of war and male supremacy, and separate it from the politics behind said war. But sadly a lot of them are just using rape and murder as an excuse for their racism.

#ask

[maglorsedgy80s-teen]

Bold Wanderer/Clever Elm: Chapter 2

A Silmarillion/LOTR Fic

Chapter 1

Words: 3.2k

Tags: Slight Angst?

Summary: The memories are becoming more clear to Himmeth, but who or where she comes from is still unknown. Boromir's feelings become clearer, and a memory of someone from her past reminds her of what she once was...

A/N: Apologies for taking so long to update, college is a real bitch! I plan to update more regularly, but who knows how that will go. (Also remember that italics are flashbacks. Hope you enjoy, feel free to send me any feedback you might have :)

Himmeth woke with a jolt. Another memory. The elusiveness of the smoke and feathers were a mystery no longer. She was an archer, and a good one at that. And she traveled through cold, the likes of which no longer existed in the known world. Where could that have been? Or better yet, when? She had never seen records of an icy desert like that before. Even the kingdom of Angmar could not boast such a climate, despite its well deserved ill repute. And who were those elves? Who was the one she longed for? And why? Why long for him and not be with him? Did he not return her affections? Did she prefer this blond Aiknaro instead? And what was the reason for the fire? The only frustrating conclusion to be made was that these questions could only be answered with time. There was no way to force the reality out of her mind. She so wished to meet this Mithrandir, to see if he had any answers to her questions, or if he could help her at all. Faramir spoke very highly of him, but Denethor did not, and so doubt was the only impression that was left of the wizard. No one knew exactly how old he was, or exactly what he was. Could she have been older than him? There was no living record of either one of them, perhaps they shared their age in common. Perhaps the gap in their wisdom was not so wide after all. She forced all these musings into the back of her mind however, there was little use in ruminating over unknowns. There was work to be done with the answers she did have. 

Himmeth’s servant Nilûphêl entered Himmeth’s humble chamber to wake her for the morning. She was short of stature and had lovely dark eyes that had a keenness for detail. Her black hair was always covered in a humble gray blue scarf, yet her demeanor was anything but meek. She often commented on how much she loved Himmeth’s long, wavy copper-brown hair. It had grown to an almost ridiculous length, but she had a difficult time parting with it. The tone of it matched the freckles that were dotted all over her skin, and her thick brow covered narrow almond eyes. She had imagined herself not to be a great beauty among the Eldar, but neither one of the hideous. Just, plain. Just a mouse. 

“How did you sleep last night my lady?” Nilûphêl asked. 

“Well, thank you.” That of course was not true, but Nilûphêl was only being polite, and so a small lie on Himmeth’s part would suffice. 

“What do you say to the purple gown today my lady? Something to impress his lordship with?” It was a heather kirtle, with full bishop sleeves. It was hardly something impressive, but maybe to a serving girl anything might’ve seemed impressive. 

Himmeth chuckled, “Which lordship am I meant to be impressing?”

“Well Lord Boromir of course, he’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you, you know. It’s the talk of all the servants.” All of them? That was certain to cause trouble. 

“Well, I would prefer if it stayed as talk, no need to chase him off too soon.” Himmeth said with a laugh and a wink. Nilûphêl meant no harm in her innocent complement;  anger was hardly the best course. But Himmeth still felt the indignity of being made a subject of everyone’s gossip. The audacity of others to think she had any design in taking Boromir as her husband. How could such a suggestion even be made? There was a war, and one neither one of them would be likely to survive if Denethor’s current course of inaction continued. There was of course the matter of her amnesia, and of her immortality, and her class, her lack of connections to the outside world, her lack of consequence, and… gentle gray eyes. And hands that were skilled and sweet to the touch. They held you like honey, soft and warm and golden. Rings of gold like the seven points of his family’s star. They were the most perfect hands, but those hands were not here any longer. Whoever’s they were, they were not here. They might have been looking for her, but they were not here. At least Boromir had that in his favor. So though Himmeth knew his affections were dangerously close to manifesting into something serious, she let them comfort her anyways. And she was in need of comfort. 

She had hoped to be able to avoid him this morning at least. She took her breakfast in her room and feigned some headache so as to collect herself. Hopefully he would chalk it up to her ill mood from last evening, instead of being anything contrary to that information. The pieces were starting to form, and forming new attachments would only cloud her judgment, not aid in discovery of the past.

Himmeth began walking to the Houses of Healing to see if anyone needed her assistance. There had been an attack in Osgiliath a few days past, and so her skills were needed to aid in the small injuries that plagued the soldiers involved. She hurried, making sure her medicine bag and apron were secured about her waist. It seemed a shame, to ruin the pretty dress with practical things, but then, she needed to make herself useful, not just beautiful. 

As Himmeth turned the corner toward her destination, she saw Boromir talking with some guard. He shooed him away, and gently stopped Himmeth with a concerned observation, “You are very quiet this morning.” 

“Perhaps there is not much to say my lord.” Himmeth was in no mood to be accosted with sentiment, there was work to be done.

Boromir was persistent, “Isn’t there? Won’t you tell me what you saw last night?”

“I already informed you my lord, it’s much too foggy to retell in any meaningful way. Unless fog is of interest to your lordship?”

“Why this coldness? Have I offended you?” He only wanted to know why she was pulling away, but opening up to him was just not wise. 

Himmeth found her words again, though her truth still eluded her, “I’m afraid.”

“Of what, of me?” Boromir seemed uneasy in that moment, he had probably only meant to get her open up, not to make her uncomfortable. Himmeth answered him, “Of myself.” That was perhaps too honest, but words can never be taken back. Not after they are spoken. 

Boromir was honorable as ever, “Then I am here to defend you! Against whatever threats; either from outside or within.”

Her soft laugh, “You cannot save me from myself. No matter how much you may wish to.”

“I want to protect you, not fix you! I…I care for you.” Oh Eru, perhaps her fawning had worked too well.

It had to stop, “You are not capable of solving this for me. This task is beyond you. I bid you farewell.” And with that Himmeth scampered away. His words would not stop clanging around in her head like a morning bell, she had not meant to make him care for her, she had only meant to make sure that she was able to stay long enough to learn where she belonged. Himmeth was not even sure who she was, let alone what she wanted. It felt too oppressive, too constricting to open herself up to his “care”, whatever that meant. And besides, he was mortal, and she was not; there was no reckoning the chasm that stood between them in that way. 

She rushed as quickly as she could back towards the Houses, in hopes of escaping from her own feelings. It was better to stay busy, to keep oneself occupied instead of drowning in the well. In her speed she was caught by Lord Denethor. Seeing the sour look on her face, he approached her with as much tact as he was capable of in that moment. 

“Something troubles you my lady?” His dark voice was intending to prod, not to sooth. 

“No my lord, do not trouble yourself on my account.” Himmeth was not interested in this conversation. 

“It is my son, no? Who elicits such a… response?” Oh Eru! Had she been that obvious? What she would give to do it all over again. 

Himmeth answered him, “No my lord.”

“You know I would have thought Faramir foolish enough to imagine himself to be in love with you, but Boromir? This has truly been a surprise. I suppose he inherited that from his mother.”

“No words of love have been spoken to me I assure you.” Words of “care”, maybe, but they didn’t mean anything. 

Denethor was displeased, “And yet, if they should happen to, I hope you would be wise enough for the both of us and cut them down where they stand, no?”

“I have never professed to be wise in my actions, my lord.” She was defending herself at this moment, but as to why eluded her. She did not love him, not enough time had even passed for love between them, but she so disliked his tone. She was not behaving falsely, Boromir was a good and kind man, he just was not right for her.

Denethor perceived the change in her mood, “And yet you do not seem pleased at the possibility of love, do you my dear?”

“I understand myself to be in a position above love to an Edain, my lord.” She was being proud, foolishly proud. 

“And yet you are not in a position above my son, dear. Do not be so bold as to forget it.” He began to walk away, imagining victory in nothing more than the status of his birth.

She wasn't proud of the way she was falling for his jabs, but she did so want to prove him wrong, “And yet, the truth of my position is yet to be revealed. Perhaps he and I are more equal than you or I could ever know. Perhaps, you and I are equals in this way.”

“Forgive me, you speak plainly, as ever. But do, not, forget what we have spoken of this day. I would have my son marry a woman who cares for him. One who is his equal in merit and in station.”

Himmeth knew that no such woman existed, “I look forward to meeting such a woman.” 

An insincere smile crossed his lips, “As do I dear. The pleasure will be welcome in the near future, I’m sure.”

Himmeth had finished her rounds at the Houses with little trouble. One soldier needed stitches on his brow from some civil dispute in the square, another needed a cyst to be drained of inflammation. It wasn’t always pleasant work, but it was work nonetheless. She thought maybe if she proved herself to be useful to these people, the transition to whatever home she may have had would be easier. Himmeth decided then to visit the library to search for any more clues about herself, and decided the royal library the best place to continue. 

 The descent down the stairs to the library calmed the nerves and senses of Himmeth, there was a scholarly quietus to the cramped room. It was hardly ever visited- it had a newness to it in that sense, despite its true antiquity. The walls of stone were much whiter than the marble of the outer walls of the city, but they did not shine with that clarity of which they deserved, they never saw the beauty of the sun. Yes, that's what it was. There were no windows here, and so the smells of ink and aged paper never wafted out of the cramped rooms. It felt more like a dungeon than a place of study, the prisoners  memories instead of petty thieves.

Most papers here were records of taxes, collections from farms, trade with the Dwarves of Erebor in the north, or the ships which came to the west coast. Messages to Rohan were frequent, especially in older records. Most papers were not any older than the founding of the Kingdom, which was to be expected, but was frustrating considering the age of the world in general. Anything older than the third age was records of Numenor, and its fall. It was hard for her to imagine all the pain of that drowning. It seemed an ignoble way to go, especially in their quest for immortal life. Most records were of trade, or of troops arriving to the shores, or regnal accounts of the infamous king Isildur. Searching seemed futile, pointless even, but somewhere in the depths of a shelf, there it was: 

A CANONICAL ANNAL OF THIS SECOND AGE OF MIDDLE EARTH

This was more likely to be promising, it looked to be extremely old too. A copy of something much older nonetheless, but this was a step in the right direction. It was no dry history either, it was almost poetic, like whoever wrote it had care and joy for the world in which they all lived. His history of the founding of Numenor was stirring in particular. 

It was then that Elerösse Half-Elven, was given the choice to live either as Edain or as Eldar, because he was descended from first Beren and Luthien, and then from Tuor and Idril. Elrond chose the life of the most noble Eldar, but Elros chose that life of a mortal. It was then that the Valar Eonwë came to him and his people and taught them wisdom and honor and power. For their loyalty to Eru-Iluvatar, they were gifted a land of their own, The Isle of Numenor. It was there that Elros became the king of his people, and he was loved for all the long days of his life. He died peacefully, in S.A. 442, and his son Tar-Vardamir claimed his place as king of Numenor. 

How hard it must have been, to choose between two worlds, which Eru deemed to be so incompatible with the other. Elros’ pain of choosing to leave his brother, to abandon his family in pursuit of the greater good, and yet to see the fruits of his kingdom eventually turn against the very people he loved, but did not ever belong to. The brother, now left behind, to live forever with the knowledge his love was not enough to keep his brother immortal. To forsake security, in favor of authenticity, it was a trait to be admired, certainly. And yet still, there was something with which she could empathize in this. Who did she leave behind when she came to this kingdom of mortals, did they want her there? Did they love her? Did Elros love his family? His son? His father? His wife? The thought had been on her mind of marriage to Boromir, not of her own will of course, but she could not help but wonder, was she ever married? What did Eldar marriages even look like anyways? Did she have children anywhere? What would they say to her now if they could? 

“How are you settling?” His eyes were so like his father’s, it made it seem as though Curufin was seeing through his son to her. Telling her he was sorry, for everything, for everything his father was guilty of. 

“You really mustn't trouble yourself on my account.” She said to her nephew, Telpinquar. 

“Of course I must! Besides, I take pleasure in the fussing.” His skillful hand was on her cheek, but it was gone almost as quick as it was there. She shifted away, perhaps almost violently, he frowned a little at her lack of intimacy. This was not the right order of things, for the young to be fussing over the old. It was she who smoothed the cow lick of his hair as a young babe, this was not right. 

She found her voice again, “I’m really alright, most everyone is too afraid of me to say much anyways.”

“It’s normal, you know.” He was perceptive as always. 

“What?” She asked.

“To miss him.” Telpeinquar said with a sad smile.  She chuckled, and let that simmer for a moment. Telpe was right of course, it would be normal. But she was far too angry to feel the shadow of his absence which haunted her. Her life was more stable without him. 

“I already told you not to fuss, nephew. Now come, tell me everything! How goes your project with Lord Annatar?”

He smiled defeated, his attempts to reach out would only be shot down. “I’ve come to ask you something. Something of great importance and secrecy.”

“Sounds intriguing.”

Telpe smiled, and then was firm, “I’m serious, you cannot tell a soul that I’ve spoken to you.”

“Are you in some sort of trouble, Telpe?” Her protectiveness was speaking for her now.  

Telpe chuckled, “No, no, goodness no. I…I’ve come to ask you a favor. More of an offer really, than a favor, but… it’s to do with Annatar’s project you see, I was wondering, wondering if you might be interested?”

“Interested in what, exactly?”

“To bear a ring of power.”

“I don’t understand, what… what exactly have you done, Telpe?”

“Nenya. She is, oh, she is a thing of beauty. The element of water, cool and steady just, just like you, Aunt.”

“You trust me to wield such power?”

“There is no one else I trust more. Besides, my father trusted you.” Hardly, Curufinwe didn’t trust anyone besides Turcafinwe, Curufinwe was only ever good to her for Kano’s sake.

“Perhaps you would be wise not to trust your father.” 

“What a thing to say. Have I offended you in some way?”

“I’m afraid”

“Afraid of what?” His voice was soft now, as if his anything but a whisper would startle her from her peace. She was right in that at least, most everyone was too afraid of her.

“Afraid of what I might do with… with that kind of… my mind would desire to act from a place of good but my heart,” She was like water, Telpe was right, but not because she was calm, placid and capable of healing, but because her anger was bottomless-a chasm of unresolved grief. Because Kano was swimming at the shores of her mind, haunting her like some sort of ghostly foam.

Telpe broke the silence, and placed a hand on her shoulder, “You are not him, you know.” 

“And who’s that?”

“He, he could not give up… would not give up his quest for the jewels, but it does not mean you share his lust for power.”

“Oh but I do, the things I did. You do not know me so well as you think. I have no wish to repeat the same mistakes of the past.”

“The rings are not, they are not the same, they do not corrupt in the same ways…”

“You are foolish to believe yourself immune to the influences of evil. I wish you luck but I will take no part in this. I hope one day you may come to understand why.”

#boromir x oc #lotr #lord of the rings #denethor #the silmarillion #celebrimbor #silm fic #lotr fic #silm oc #boromir #maglor #feanorians #maglor x oc

[dazedhypen]

kinda important announcement?

hello everyone!!! i've been inactive lately though i doubt anyone noticed bc i only have a few mutuals here, i also doubt that anyone will see this as soon as i post it?

the past few weeks i've been busy with studying and all but when i had the time to take a break, i spent that time thinking of stuffs that is pretty much connected to me being on tumblr =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)

i've been on tumblr for like less than a year and during that time, i sometimes feel uneasy in some way?? that feeling is not bc i'm guilty or sumn ofc but bc i feel like who i am/how i behave on this app is kinda different than how i am irl ++ i know that this doesn't seem to be a big deal but recently it feels like i'm forcing myself to behave in a certain way too much and it leads me to think that i'm tricking people with a whole different personality

it honestly bothers me so much like how i exaggerate everything ranging from my personality to the way i type(?),, i feel like i'm rlly overdoing it with my constant use of kaomojis and many other things ☹️ while what i've mentioned above is true, ofc the way i've behaved on this app isn't always forced nor is it always different than me irl but it's more like i'm trying too hard to be someone who i'm not???

another thing that has been bothering me lately is that i've been having writer's block and since i rlly rlly love to write, it bothers me that i can't bc i'm constantly focused on my studies 24/7 and even when i have the time do write i'd always be distracted by other things

as much as i love writing, the past few months the writer's block are really getting to me and all i wanna do is write but as i mentioned, i'm unable to do so (ಥ﹏ಥ) usually its bc idk how to start the fic or most of the time bc i worry that it won't turn out well

i try to motivate myself to finish everything by posting that i'll be uploading a new fic but in the end it doesn't work out ++ even if i have the fic prepared but i'll always go back to reading it and be bothered by the quality of it,, i'm currently trying to improve my vocabulary, grammars and writing skills so i could post again but i rlly don't think it's working and i hate going through my blog then seeing so many of me rambling here and there, it looks so cluttered and messy ://

as a result of this i became a little bit stressed especially with my studies also happening rn,, i feel like i decided this a little too rashly?? but then i've thinking abt this long enough to not be considered as acting too rashly

i'm announcing that i'm no longer gonna be active on this blog, based on how i'm feeling i wanna sort of start over again on my new blog @hypesahi (can't tag it yet lol but do comment if u still wanna be moots on my other blog <3) also i won't be deactivating(?) this blog bc i rlly like my username and i rlly don't wanna lose so many things from here :((

i think that's all i have to say?? have a nice day/night whoever sees this <33 i won't be tagging anyone bc i'm not sure who to tag,, soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😭

#★ IMPORTANT！

[gay-simple-and-chaotic]

regarding my prior post

Bitterness abounds, but in the form of another journal as per usual on this blog

As an open letter, should anyone be lurking on my blog that I never gave out, please block me and never look at this blog again after seeing this;

I do not hate either of you. I do resent some of your actions and inactions, and hypocrisies that have been present. I have not been free of such either; and for that I acknowledge fault, and apologize for the harm I enacted, both through unintentional means and as a direct effect of my declining mental health.

I would not be so cruel as to blame you for that in entirety though; because though you played a significant part in it, my brain chemistry is not any other person's fault.

I would, however, call to attention your hypocrisy.

My silence in our dms (notably nowhere else; interacting with you via servers, twitter, gc, etc) was an attempt to avoid 1x1 situations wherein I may accidentally cause things to go poorly. My silence, that was in no way ghosting, as you claimed it to be, was an act of mercy, as your own declining mental state seemed to be as frail as a house of cards and I doubted it could take another hit (turns out, I'd be proven right) and thus, I assumed space would be the best way for both of us to heal.

What was ghosting was how you treated me in 2021; the constant, long silence, the endless knowledge that you and others were giggling behind closed doors about things I was at the time barred from.

What was ghosting were the 48 hour calls you spent with your girlfriend, never texting me once or one-word replying to paragraphs of writing I'd made for you, or art, or anything. It was ghosting to constantly ignore me even in our gc, in servers, to the point of inducing paranoia in me, believing you intended to get rid of me.

What was textbook ghosting was your girlfriend leaving me on read for nearly two weeks when, after our dear mutual friend asked you if you were avoiding me, not even on my behalf but for my sake and you proceeded to block me everywhere without a word of explanation to my face, instead letting me learn you wanted to cut contact via a screenshot from my friend, after all THAT, I opened up communication to tell your girlfriend that the cat was out of the bag, you weren't ghosting anymore, and that we had mutually blocked each other (because I proceeded to block you back everywhere i could, intending to leave you to your own devices) and to ask them one question, phrased calmly and nearly businesslike.

Did they also want to cut contact with me?

A yes or no question. No matter how opposed to confrontation a person is, they can manage a "yes" before blocking me.

Which your girlfriend, who I previously looked up to and considered a good friend, did not manage.

Instead, one day, I realized I couldn't see their status. Instead, I was left to a growing pit of dread in my stomach, to react to a message and watch as it failed to go through; to send a friend request, confirming what I already knew; I'd been blocked without a word.

What they did was inconsiderate at best and downright cruel at worst.

And yet you had the nerve to defend it. When their best friend of what, six years, of his own volition, called out this shitty behavior, they practically turned their back on him because he took my side in regards to the ghosting.

You have hurt me deeply. I have hurt you too, as you've said before; and I no longer think that "it doesn't matter" that I am in pain, even in my remorse for yours.

I thank you and your girlfriend for the good memories. I treasure the nearly three years we have spent as friends. I have learned a lot from you both. You were there for me when I needed you, and I did my very best in turn to return that support to you. You provided guidance and knowledge in many subjects, and insight into things I never considered before. I do not think the love I feel for you both has diminished in the events that have transpired.

Thank you for the good times. I hope that this is the last I will write about this, and that it will register as an amiable parting in my mind.

I hope all three of us can heal from the wounds the bad times have inflicted on us, directly or indirectly. I regret that I have ever caused you pain, and if I could undo it, I certainly would.

But as you told me, apologies mean nothing if I don't change my actions, something I struggled to think of ways to convey to you the last time I wrote like this.

So then, goodbye. May you lead happy lives wherever you go, and may you flourish in life. I hope your stories take flight, and I genuinely only wish the best for you, though it may not seem that way in the light of my spite earlier this letter.

And may our paths never cross again.

#vent #long post #james talks #i dont expect anyone to see this #if anyone does aside from my boyfriend that is #darling dont interact okay im alright #tags are only for archival purposes