#i did the hormones but it is the body i have so id thank you to stop telling me what i can do in the gym and what haircut i can get. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

micahthemoon · 4 months

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December 31 2023 It’s New Years eve, the last day of the year. And what a year! I’ve experienced so many great things in my transgender journey this year. To honor those accomplishments, I’ve dedicated today’s entry to highlighting one post from each month and what I consider the most significant experience, good or bad. Here’s to a new year full of yet more great opportunities to grow, to learn to love myself and find myself. Micah is checking out. See you in 2024.

January = Sickleave I was not-forced-but-kinda-forced to go on sick leave from applying to jobs. Honesty, I fear that starting therapy would ruin my chances of starting hormones someday. But I don’t think I can wait any longer. I might need to bite the bullet and find a therapist. Pray to whoever that this doesn’t take away the progress I made in medically transitioning. Or worse make people invalidate my gender identity because ‘Mentally Ill ™’ (01/04)

February= Second appointment and BMI wakeup call After four months of waiting, I finally had my second appointment at the gender clinic! All went well except the scales. I don’t own a scale at home – I won’t risk hating myself more because of a number. Thing is, I am around 15-20 kg heavier than six years ago and at least 5 kg too heavy for top surgery atm- And I fell into my own trap of feeling horrible about my body because of it. (02/14)

March = Legally changed gender It happened! I finally got the message that my gender id is legally changed now! It feels so surreal! I’m honestly filled with so much adrenalin I didn’t even have time to second guess writing to my Banks, insurance and other important systematic institutions in need of the news! Gah, I want It all to be fixed now but it takes time and really, I am just overjoyed! (03/02)

April = Starting minoxidil First day using minoxidil!! I got it yesterday yet decided it would be fitting starting on a Monday. My daily routines are getting so crowded now both including minoxidil and tattoo aftercare. I think it’s a good thing in terms of making a routine to when I hopefully get testosterone. By then hopefully I’ve learned from all my past mistakes – like this morning where I put minoxidil on before eating my breakfast. Take it from me, minoxidil doesn’t taste great. (04/17)

May = Third appointment, reached weight goal You know you’ve mastered your mascara game when your gender therapist is wondering out loud whether you’ve started HRT without him knowing. I really enjoy how confused my mascara beards can make people. But alright back to the gender identity clinic appointment I had today. It went well better than I’d expected and if all goes well, I might be able to start testosterone way earlier than I’d expected too. And the cherry on top I am now under the cut off weight for top surgery!!! (05/15)

June = Starting a positive relationship to my body (image) Something strange happened when I was going to bed yesterday. For some random reason I started feeling my torso and I didn’t feel disgust about it? I touched every little bit of stomach, waist, and hips to figure out why it felt this neutral maybe even good suddenly. I have never liked how this part of me felt or looked so this was such a surreal experience. The feeling disappeared as quickly again when I lay down, but it did make me want to try to do some morning stretches. Success, I guess? (06/01)

July = Getting my gender validated by somebody I trust Today the camper that has been here the longest (she had 20th anniversary this year) told me that back when we first met, she couldn’t connect with me. Like I had a wall up to the world. Now that wall was gone, and she could finally see me. And she almost felt attracted to who I was now. Coming from her this means so much to me. I might not need people’s permission to transition but at the same time knowing what I do seems right to others is a huge relief. Thank you so much for telling me. (07/20)

August = An almost-approval for HRT I got the answer from the gender clinic about t. The answer is ‘maybe?’. One person was on holiday, and he needs to look at my case before the team can approve it. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad that everybody else seemed on board. However, I am a bit annoyed given that the team knew when they’d discuss my case for two months and they didn’t make sure everybody was present. Or at least let me know beforehand if not everybody could be present, so I wouldn’t get nervous without reason. (08/10)

September = An actual approval for HRT Guys!! GUYS!!!! It happened!! I am now gotten approved for testosterone!!! I am so happy I spend way too long trying to make an ig post about it!!! Sure, I still must wait for preparation appointments and blood tests and all of that but just knowing I am officially approved and on my way to get started is amazing. I even bought myself a celebratory licorice even tho I try not to snack (felt only half bad eating it)!!! (09/11)

October = Participating in baseline meassurements for HRT study I was at some pre-t tests for a study I’m participating in. We went through different physical tests, muscle strength, lung capacity together with scans of the heart and bones. Overall, it was alright especially given how awkward I’ve felt about the EKKO scan of the heart (first time since my ex I had no shirt on in front of another). What ended up being the worst was the CT because I got the dizziness side effects from the drug, they gave us. Glad I did the test but wow I am tired now. (10/31)

November = Starting HRT And so it starts fr. Here is my first (if not counting the pre-t one) testosterone update!!! I think I should maybe for the next ones try to do it before doing my mascara beard just to see if you can see any difference in my 'clean face' over time. (11/23)

December = Finding new way to measure voice pitch I got myself a new toy: a voice pitch analyzer app!! I was suggested this app by a trans friend as another fun way to document my transition and so I just tried it to make a sort of late baseline. It says my pitch is on average 173-178 hz (depending on language) which is in the female range (feminine voices tend to be classified as between 165-255 hz while men’s around 85-155; I googled it). Looking forward to seeing the changes over time. Maybe it can become a tool for gender euphoria! (12/17)

#transgender #transmasc #nonbinary #long post #new years eve #gender identity #legal transition #medical transition #my year 2023 #entry #findingmicah

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briamichellewrites · 1 year

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Lily and Lila cried loudly in pain as they were given their vaccines. The nurse calmed them down by wrapping them each in a blanket. Mike was impressed by the care given to them and Brie. They toured the hospital before deciding to give birth there. They also made a birthing plan, where they asked if the biological father could be in the room during delivery. Yeah, they could do that. What was his name? Chester Bennington. Was she breastfeeding or bottle feeding?

She was strictly bottle-feeding. Did she want any pain medication? Yes, she wanted an epidural. In case of emergency, she would consent to have a cesarean section. Because they had the plan in place, Mike felt a lot better knowing that the hospital knew exactly what she wanted. Giving birth was not as simple as he thought it would be. There were a lot of options to choose from.

He looked at the little miracle in his arms. She was so beautiful. He lifted the blanket to see her little feet. She and her sister had bands around their little ankles with their ID. That was to prevent kidnapping. Underneath her hat, he saw a head full of brown hair. Words could not describe how much he was in love with his little girls. He would do everything he could to be the father they deserved. Even when he was on the other side of the world.

He couldn’t wait for their milestones. Phoenix came over and sat down beside him. He kissed the side of his head, making him smile. This was what love felt like. He told him she was beautiful. She was. So was her sister. Mike thought back to his conversation with his father and brother after coming out to them. He loved Brie because she pushed him to be better. She also pushed him to open up.

He sometimes didn’t want to tell her things because he didn’t want to overwhelm her. His brother considered her to be the best thing to happen to him. Yeah, she was. She didn’t let him get away with anything. They were hesitant when they got engaged out of nowhere. While wedding planning with her, they found that she was perfect for their family. Why were they staying married? They loved each other too much to get divorced.

When they got married, he didn’t know that he was gay. Privately, Jason asked when he knew. It was when Phoenix kissed him. He had some curiosity about being with another man but he didn’t want to do anything because he didn’t want to hurt Brie.

It was only after getting her permission that he thought about who he was. He loved Phoenix. It was a different kind of love than what he felt for Brie. She had been supportive of them since the beginning. It was her that made him aware that he possibly had a crush on him. He invited him over to talk over beers and he confessed that yeah, he had developed a crush on him. Jason congratulated his older brother on coming out. Thank you. He felt relief he could be open about who he was.

Lily and Lila were asleep in their bassinet. Brie had also fallen asleep. She was encouraged to rest to give her body time to recover from giving birth. Since she was at risk of developing postpartum depression, she had to monitor her moods. He and Phoenix were outside getting something to eat at the cafeteria. Linsey and Elisa were coming later, as were Brad, Joe, and Rob.

Congratulations, baby! Your dad just told me the good news! I can’t wait to meet them! – Jon

Mike got a text from Brad asking where they were. He couldn’t get up because he was holding Lily, so Phoenix and Chester went down to get them. They were greeted by their band members, Linsey and Elisa. He brought them to the recovery room, where Brie had just woken up. The babies were crying in hunger, while Mike and Brie tried to comfort them. A nurse came in with two bottles and showed them how to feed and burp them.

Babies were demanding and impatient. They were hungry and they wanted food now! She was stressed out because she had no idea what to do. Her hormones were also making it difficult to control her emotions. Mike assured her she was doing great. She noticed her guests and said hello to them. I didn’t see you guys there.

They laughed and told her it was fine. Lily and Lila calmed down once they were finished eating and had been burped. They were gently passed around, so they could hold them. Joe thought one looked like Chester and the other looked like her. Yeah, one of them had his face. Chester laughed. They were both beautiful! They thanked them. How was Mike doing? He was so relieved everything went smoothly. Well, relatively speaking. Elisa asked what happened.

“Brie was overdue, so she was admitted to the hospital. They gave her medication to help start her labor. After that, everything went great. It was a lot of waiting, which I didn’t know would happen. But…”, he shrugged.

“Were they born on two separate days?”

“Yeah, Lily was born last night and Lila was born this morning, so they have two different birthdays”, Brie said.

“How is that going to work with their birthdays when they’re older”, Brad asked.

“We have no idea yet.”

They laughed. She was spending another night in the hospital to learn how to take care of them before being discharged the next morning. They couldn’t stay at the hospital forever. Mike was going to have her screened for postpartum depression, so she could receive treatment as soon as possible. It was going to be hard because of a combination of a lack of sleep, demanding newborns, and hormones. It would take six months for her hormones to level out.

He was especially concerned because she didn’t have a great experience with her birth mother. She was supposed to be her guide. He was thankful to have his mother close by, as well as Linsey and Elisa. They could come over and help her out. Rob didn’t want to be a father because having kids wasn’t for him. As he held Lily in his arms, Elisa commented on how great he looked. They laughed.

“I’m perfectly okay with not having kids. I like having time to myself.”

“You don’t want to get up in the middle of the night”, Phoenix jokingly asked.

“I prefer sleeping.”

They laughed again. He could be the Cool Uncle Rob. When were they going home? They were going to be discharged the following morning. He thought it was around ten o’clock. They had everything packed and ready to go. Brie picked out adorable outfits for them to go home in. They had their names embroidered on the front of their onesies. They were a gift from Jessica.

Where were her parents? They were on tour, so they couldn’t be there. Her in-laws were going to come over to help out after work for the first month. Just so she could learn what to do. Linsey reminded her that she and Elisa were also available if she needed to talk or had any questions.

She thanked them because she needed that reminder. It was going to be a lot of sleepless nights until they were six months old and sleeping through the night. There were millions of websites that had different advice for taking care of newborns. She and Mike should just listen to their gut instincts because they were the parents and every baby was different.

There wasn’t such a thing as a perfect mother. She wasn’t going to get everything right and that was okay. It was on-the-job training. As long as the babies were being cared for, that was all that mattered. That meant a lot to her.

She was the type of person who would beat herself up for making a mistake out of fear she was a bad mother. No, she was young and just learning. She was going to make a lot of mistakes and that was normal. It was impossible to be perfect. They all agreed. I’m going to need to get that tattooed on my arm or something, so I can remember that. They laughed.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

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byeol-ssi · 2 years

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hiya byeool! i read your selfship ask game and i can't stop thinking about being academic rivals with artem ever since 😭

can i request a oneshot for it? id love for you to expand on it since i loved your marius fic. feel free to base it on your selfship but maybe a confession scene?

no rush though! thank you and have a good day!

where you're meant to be

✦ artem wing x gn!reader | tears of themis

✦ tags: academic rivals to lovers, one-sided rivalry, confessions

✦ link to self-ship ask game.

"you're shaking." ARTEM's hand comes down on top of your knee.

you hadn't even realized that you'd been bouncing your leg up and down nervously. if it was any other day, you would have probably shoved off his gorgeously sculpted hand, but right now, the weight felt uncomfortably comforting.

not that you'd ever admit to that.

instead, you scowled. "involuntary trembling is the body's response to a perceived threat, which in this case, manifests in the form of 500 people, bright lights, and a two-minute speech."

you should be celebrating, hollering your lungs out, or doing your little victory dance backstage. after graduation, you'd at least be free for a short while until you landed your dream job. no more all-nighters. no more drowning yourself in whatever drink helped you stay awake. no more wallowing in self-deprecating tears.

and no more of artem wing.

you startled, hearing him call out your name from beside you. your co-valedictorian and sworn adversary ever since you butted heads in a debate that landed both of you in the dean's office.

that was the first and last time you ever lost to him.

whenever you two weren't paired together ⁠— which happened a lot more often than not, much to your annoyance and bewilderment ⁠— you were determined that every accomplishment after, whatever it was, ended with you either above or equal to him.

because he was perfect. too perfect.

you've never caught him with bags under his eyes or a hair strand out of place. there was never a single piece of lint on his smoothly ironed-out clothes that also fit his frame too perfectly.

he was devastatingly attractive, flawlessly well-mannered, and frighteningly intelligent. he likewise breezed through every subject so effortlessly, it was utterly unfair.

you turned towards him. "what?"

he looks at you like he always has. unnervingly patient. sometimes, you wondered if he had any feelings at all, since he could stomach whatever attitude you threw his way.

"what hormones do our bodies release whenever we're stressed?" he repeats slowly.

huh? you blink.

when you stare at him blankly, those cerulean eyes flick towards the audience for all of two seconds before going back to meet yours. "do you not know the answer?"

"of course, i do." you sucked in a sharp breath, narrowing your eyes. you weren't going to allow him to make you feel like an idiot, especially not in a moment of weakness. "it's epinephrine," you snapped.

"and?" he prompts, not at all fazed by the spite in your voice.

"norepinephrine," you answered in a tone that sounded a lot like, duh.

he hums, squeezing your knee with the tiniest amount of pressure. "you're correct."

your heart, which had already been pulsing much too quickly, skipped a beat from the gesture. what was wrong with you? your heart? skipping a beat for your least favorite robot in the world?

but then he kept going, "and how about when we're feeling joy?"

you wonder if he had any underlying motives for suddenly engaging you in a pop quiz. perhaps he was finally asserting his superiority.

cautiously, you provided him with answers to all the random questions he proceeded to ask you from then on, not limited to biology, but to every class you shared together.

when the weight of his hand is lifted from your knee, only then do you realize that you'd completely stopped shaking. the tight coil of nerves in your stomach likewise felt like they'd been detangled one by one from artem's questions.

why did he ...

you're about to say ... something when your name reverberates throughout the auditorium, signaling your speech.

you take a deep breath when you stand. you could do this, you told yourself. straightening your shoulders, you glance at artem one final time.

he wore the faintest smile that made his eyes crinkle handsomely — one that was directed at you. probably his least favorite person in the world.

and you take on that podium headfirst. still nervous, but not as terrified as before.

"ARTEM!"

artem glances behind him to see you, chest heaving for air. it was unusual for you to call out to him first, even though you somehow always ended up together.

alright, that was only partially true, as artem did request to get partnered with you multiple times on several occasions.

without your knowledge.

and he'll bring that little secret to his grave.

you take a bold step forward and thrust a hand out without meeting his eyes. he tilts his head, slightly baffled by the gesture.

you cleared your throat. "i suppose this is goodbye."

ah, a farewell handshake. hesitantly, he allows himself to touch you again.

he's not sure what came over him earlier, placing a hand on your knee of all places, but he's long learned your body language and signs to know that you were nervous.

and though he's always admired you for being so self-capable — only one of your many traits and characteristics that he loves about you, his most favorite person in the world — the urge to offer you some semblance of comfort had overridden his judgment.

he clasps your hand in his, mildly bothered at the anti-climactic situation. this wasn't the kind of ending he'd hoped for after trying to muster up the courage and wait for the correct timing over the past four years.

"you've always pushed me to strive for excellence and do my very best, so thank you for being a formidable rival," you say, giving his hand a firm shake.

artem's entire body tenses and his voice comes out just as stiffly as he clarifies, "rival?"

"yeah." you shrugged.

and the mystery behind your entire demeanor toward him finally makes sense, like jigsaw puzzles falling into place. embarrassment heats his ears.

"i wasn't aware that we were ever in a ..." he couldn't stop the frown from overtaking his usually composed features. " ... competition."

"oh." your eyes widen at his revelation, and you drop his hand to bring yours up to slap your cheeks. "dear, themis. i've been acting like a bully toward you this entire time. you always treated me so kindly, that i sort of found it condescending, when truthfully, i think i'm just in denial. you're actually one of the sweetest persons i know, and i can't believe i've been so mean and nasty —"

"it's fine," he assures you, stopping your tirade and coughing into his fist as he struggles with his next words. "i was more concerned over the fact that you seemed to despise me."

your lips part open, the same expression you wore whenever you were considering something deeply. this too, was one of his favorite sights to stare at during lectures.

a long, silent moment stills between you as he also holds his breath, awaiting your answer.

"i don't," you eventually admit. "the only reason i ever competed with you was so you could see that i was worthy enough."

he blinks slowly. in a quiet voice, he says, "i never once thought that you were any less."

"and i never believed that you were below or above me." he continues, watching your features soften and carefully reaching out for both of your hands again.

he pauses for a moment, choosing the most suitable words to convey his long-buried affections. "i've wanted you from where you always were. where do you think that is?"

you furrow your brows, and he almost laughs. you appeared wary, an image of a distrustful kitten popping into his head, similar to when he'd flooded you with questions earlier.

"somewhere ... far away?" you guess, raising your shoulders in uncertainty.

"incorrect." artem shakes his head, hurrying to finish, knowing that you'd definitely challenge him. "i want you to stay beside me — like this. like you always have been."

"you'll get sick of me," you warn playfully, yet he's studied you long enough to know that you honestly believed that. "i positively know it."

and artem clicks his tongue fondly, moving his hands to cup your face, thumb sliding down your cheek. "wrong again."

"you think i did alright?" you ask ARTEM, lacing your fingers and holding his hand like you'd done a thousand times. the action was so seamless now, so natural, that it hardly took him by surprise anymore.

he plants an affectionate kiss on your temple, another gesture he's grown much more comfortable doing around people. "you were great. i'm extremely proud of you."

"you still aren't threatened by me, at all? not even a teensy bit?"

"i'm afraid not. nevertheless, i'll only ever accept defeat from you."

and your laughter echoes across the hall as you skip alongside your fiancé cheerfully. despite your ceaseless attempts of competing with him, he's been with you in every step of your journey, and for that, you couldn't be more grateful.

and excited, because you'd have artem wing, your most favorite person in the world, for the rest of your life.

✦ byeol's notes: happiest birthday to one of my biggest motivators for pursuing law, artem, my beloved! ♡

and to nonnie, thank you so much for making a request! i especially saved it for his birthday, so i hope you don't mind the wait, and that you see this.

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! thank you and ily.

#tears of themis x reader #tears of themis #tears of themis x you #artem wing #artem x reader #artem x you #artem wing x you #artem wing x reader #zuo ran #zuo ran x reader #tears of themis x y/n #tears of themis fanfic #tot artem #✦ episode.

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 3 years

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Ocean Eyes - Part 15

Approx words: 1900

Warnings: Light smut and swears.

A/N - well we all knew this was coming! 🤣 and things were going so well!

Thank you all for being so patient waiting for this update!

Getting our story out first seemed to do the trick, the other one being pulled last minute so they didn't make themselves look stupid.

The few photo's we allowed of the three of us practically went viral within the first hour of them being released. They were all over social media and gossip sites but this had to be done. We knew it would calm down eventually, something bigger and more exciting was bound to happen sooner or later.

By July things with Covid seemed to be easing, Chris was allowed to work again following guidelines, getting tested, wearing a face covering and staying in his "bubbles" and all that fun stuff that came with dealing with a pandemic. He hadn't done much to be honest still nervous about being around people and bringing anything back home to me and Mason.

So when he came out of his office after being shut away in there all afternoon and announced he had to leave for a few days it was a bit of a shock.

"I tried to get out of it but if it goes well it could be a really great opportunity" he told me looking pretty excited for whatever it was.

"Thats fine, you need to get back to work eventually you can't just stay home with us 24/7 forever" i shrugged acting like it wasn't a big deal but truthfully.... I was kinda dreading what things would be like once he was back out in the world being Chris Evans the movie star.

"I know but i hate the thought of leaving you and Mason"

"We'll be fine, besides you said it was only a few days right?"

Chris nodded as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

"Like 4 days tops including travel time".

"You're gonna be gone for longer periods than that in the future" i reminding him with a sigh and a tight lipped smile and he looked down at me and nodded. It was just something that would eventually happen, we'd been here before only he wasn't as in demand back then, this time would be harder. I know i'd gone years without him before but now i had him back.... The thought of being away from him scared me. But i couldn't let him know that, i had to be strong or it would never work out.

"Im just so used to having you and Mason with me all the time now...."

"We'll be here waiting when you get back" i smiled pulling him down to kiss me again, my hands slipping under his t-shirt and stroking his lower back.

"You promise?"

"I promise" i nodded instantly "where is it you're going to?"

"London"

"London?! Jesus i didn't think you'd be that far away.... I think maybe you should take me to bed early so we can make the most of our time together"

"Thats the best idea you've ever had!"

"Plus Scott will be bringing Mason back tomorrow....."

"I love the kid but my god he has the worst timing. Ive lost track of how many times he's cock blocked me" Chris shook his head before we both burst out laughing.

"Joys of having a kid Evans" i shrugged before taking his hand and pulling him towards the bedroom.

"Oh my god.... When i said we needed to make the most of our time together i did not expect that many orgasm's!" I giggled feeling all kinds of happy from the amount of hormones flooding my body from the god knows how many orgasm's Chris pulled from me!

"I could probably get one more from you if i tried....."

"Oh god no i can't.... I'll be lucky if i can even walk tomorrow!"

"I don't want you to forget me while I'm gone is all"

"Id never forget you baby...... our son is the spitting image of you"

"Oh you little....." he dived at me tickling my sides and nipping playfully at my neck making me laugh and squirm until he finally stopped and just looked at me lovingly.

"What?" I asked with a smile running my hand over his bearded jaw.

"I love you"

"I love you too".

When Chris told Mason he had to go away for a few days he cried, a deep guttural cry that broke Chris' heart.

"Hey buddy, don't cry, i'll be home in a few days i promise. You and mom can stay here with Dodger and Uncle Scott is going to come stay with guys too won't that be fun!"

Mason sniffled and mumbled a 'yeah' but he was still sulking.

"Babe, we'll have so much fun and dad will be back before you know it" i tried to help sooth him.

"But I'm gonna miss you"

"I'll miss you too bud, so much! I'll try and FaceTime you if i get time okay?"

"Okay.... You promise?"

"Of course!"

I looked at Chris and noticed he looked a little teary, he hadn't had to deal with the separation before.

Thankfully Chris was taking a late flight so he'd be leaving once Mason was in bed.

The night he was leaving he took Mason up to bed and read him his favourite story and stayed until he was softly snoring.

"Babe, you're gonna be late if you stay in here any longer" i smiled at him from the doorway where i stood and watched them.

"I know but its so hard to leave him"

"And here i was worrying that it would be Mace that id need to pry away from you".

Chris put the book back in its place on the beside cabinet before carefully getting off the bed. I couldn't help but smile as i watched Chris tuck in our son and place a kiss on the top of his head.

"Jesus, is it always this hard to leave him?" He asked as we walked to Chris' bedroom.

"the longest I've ever left him is preschool and the night he spent at Scotts.....that was hard enough" i shrugged sitting on the edge of the bed while he checked his bag again "i remember the first time i left him at preschool i sat in my car crying for 20 minutes straight worrying that he would need me and i wouldnt be there for him. Its easier now, i still worry though but i think thats just part of being a parent"

"That part sucks!" He sat down next to me and pouted before pulling me into his lap so i was straddling him while he gave me a tight hug.

"God, I'm gonna miss you"

"You'll be so busy you'll have no time to miss me" i mumbled against his neck where my face was buried against him enjoying just being close to him and smelling how good he smelt.

"I always miss you. I'll be counting down the days on this nifty little chart Mason drew me" he laughed pulling a folded piece of paper from his pocket that had the days of the week and little boxes next to each day for Chris to mark off "so i don't forget when its time to come home, he has a matching one".

"Oh my god.... That kid melts my heart!" I gushed, he was such a loving little soul and he made me so proud to be his mama.

"I cried!" Chris said with wide eyes.

"Lets face it Evans it doesn't take much for you to cry, you get pretty emotional"

"Shut up, i can't help it"

"I love that you show your emotions"

"Yeah?"

"Mmmmhmm"

"Well i love how you feel sitting in my lap like this" he smirked as i felt him pushing his hips up causing me to grind down on his growing erection.

"As much as id love to do this..... you're gonna be late if we carry this on"

"I have 5 minutes...." He kissed me hard and pulled me closer. I rolled my hips over him and let out a moan, he followed with one of his own.

"Ah fuck keep doing that and I'm gonna cum in my pants like a teenager...."

"Thats not a bad thing you need to be quick remember"

Chris grabbed my hips and rocked me over his bulge letting out little moans that drove me fucking wild until he came hard biting down on my shoulder.

"Ah shit....." he squirmed feeling the wetness of his cum in his pants, i chuckled climbing off his lap.

"Go get cleaned up, leave those in the laundry i'll sort them out" i pointed towards his now ruined pants.

"What about you?"

"I'll jump in the shower once you've gone"

"Really..... now i don't wanna leave even more".

I was making a cup of tea when my phone started to vibrate across the counter. I already knew who it would be.

"Hey babe"

"Hey dahlin'"

"how was your flight?" I yawned not long having been awake.

"Long. I didn't wake you up did i?"

"No, Im just making tea. I didn't sleep too well"

"Missing me already huh?"

"Must be what it is" i chuckled "so you settled at the hotel okay?"

"Yeah i checked in around 10:30 this morning i think, crashed for a couple hours. I've gotta go to a meeting later about this potential role and then they're taking me to this dinner thing"

"I hope it goes well, you'll do great i just know it"

"Thank you sweetheart. Hows Mace?"

"His still sleeping, i should go wake him up so he can talk to you"

"Nah let him sleep, i can try and catch him later. What time is Scott coming over?"

"Around lunch time i think"

"Good, makes me feel better knowing you guys aren't alone"

"We'll be fine stop worrying and concentrate on what you need to do there"

"I can't not worry knowing Brian's still out there"

"Theres been no sign of him for weeks..."

"I don't like it" he whined like a 5 year old.

"Noted" i chuckled "i miss you so much already"

"God i miss you too! Shit, i gotta go but i'll try and call a little later to speak to Mason"

"Okay"

"I love you both so much"

"We love you too".

As planned Scott turned up around 12:30. We went out for a walk with Mason and Dodger before heading home for dinner which consisted of frozen pizza.

"Mom whens dad gonna call?" Mason asked from where he was laying between me and Scott.

"I don't know bud" i smiled sadly, it was nearly 8pm so it would be nearing 1am in London the chances of Chris phoning tonight were slim.

"Maybe in the morning".

"Okay" he sighed before turning and cuddling up with Scott. 20 minutes later he was out like a light and Scott took him up to bed while i cleared away the dirty dishes and grabbed a bottle of wine.

Scott and I sat and finished the bottle of wine while catching up with the newest episodes of our favourite true crime documentary. We laughed and chatted about anything and everything until the early hours of the morning. Before going to bed i sent a quick goodnight text to Chris telling him how much we loved him before finally falling asleep.

Scott's POV

I woke up with a massive headache squinting at the sun beaming into the room where clearly i had forgotten to shut the curtains last night.

My phone was constantly vibrating with notifications, sounding like the loudest thing in the world!

Grumbling i reached for my phone to silence it until i saw why my phone was blowing up.

"Ah fuck me...."

Home Tags: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lumar014 @bbmommy0902 @past-perfect-future-tense @heathens-takeitsl0w @captainchrisstan @ladymelissastark @93generation @sebastianstansqueen @oceansxpurple @Imjstaghoststory @superavengerpotterstar @cap-just-said-language @booktease21 @ms-betsy-fangirl @wildest-dream- @michelehansel @thummbelina @abbylizy @sweetlittlegingy @lorabem @broco8 @xxloki81xx @keithseabrook27 @jesseswartzwelder @saiyanprincessswanie @stormi-ames @death-unbecomes-you @buckyandsebastian

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields @turtoix @dottirose @livstilinski

#chris evans #ocean eyes #chris evans x reader #reader insert

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7fckingidiots · 3 years

Note

Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;

HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!

The Brothers With A Trans MC

Lucifer

He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.

He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.

Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner

God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much

Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM

He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar

You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)

Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)

Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)

Mammon

You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it

King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.

Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.

If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights

You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.

KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it

Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.

Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too

You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)

Levi

He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!

Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours

Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions

Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT

Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive

Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL

Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)

If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.

You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)

God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)

Satan

Enby Satan. That’s all :)

He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers

He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)

Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you

He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan

Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT

Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.

Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)

Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.

!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0

Asmo

Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO

Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......

Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!

VOICE LESSONS

He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school

Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now

Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE

Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo

He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable

ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!

He loves you so much!!!!

Beel

another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!

he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)

he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help

stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you

he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you

he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????

will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel

makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead

hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D

Belphie

you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all

are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name

if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly

he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith

calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie

will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys

like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......

introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”

he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes

he loves you, so, so much :)

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maxineswritingcenter · 3 years

Text

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 24

--------------

2004

“We lay to rest a beloved member of the community. A mother. A friend. A daughter. A wife. Claudia Stilinski...” We stood on the lawn of Beacon Hills Memorial Cemetery, watching Aunt Claudia’s casket being lowered into the ground. She had been sick for so long and it was starting to turn ugly... But she was in a better place now, that’s what Uncle Noah said. When he spoke at least. I looked past the grieving people, like Ms. McCall, Scott, the entire police department, and looked at Stiles. He looked so tired. His cheeks were tear stained and his eyes were red from crying.

Once people started to disperse, my parents and I made our way over to Uncle Noah and Stiles. While the adults talked, Stiles and I just continued to stare at the grave. The grounds keepers were starting to cover her body with dirt.

“Do you want me to spend the night tonight?” I whispered, reaching over and holding his hand.

Stiles shook his head, chewing on the inside of his cheek, “I want to be alone tonight.” He gave my hand a squeeze.

“Wouldn’t tonight be the worst time to be alone?”

“I just want to be at home with my dad. I need some time for myself.”

“(Y/N).” We both turned at my father’s voice, “Let’s go, sweetie.” We both looked back at the grave.

“Okay. Well, call if you change your mind.” I gave his hand a squeeze before letting it slip away.

We got into the car, making our way back home.

“How you holding up, sweetie?” Mom turned back and looked at me over the sink.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.” I said, looking out the window.

“Well, you don’t have to.” Dad said, “We’ll get into our pjs and watch Disney movies. You know how much Aunt Claudia loved Disney movies.”

I swallowed thickly, “Actually... I was hoping that I could go to see the Hales. If that’s okay.” Dad sighed loudly and mom smacked him subtly.

“Sure, baby.” Mom said, a sad smile on her face, “I’ll call Talia when we get home.”

When I was dropped off at the Hales’, Talia welcomed me with open arms, a blanket, and a hot chocolate. I guess what I needed was away from the whole situation. We played games, Laura braided my hair, we made friendship bracelets. At the end of the night, Laura and Cora had fallen asleep to the movie we had been watching and Derek had snuck us both onto the roof of the Hale house. We were on our back, looking up at all the stars in the sky and the moon shining down on us. We had been in silence for a while until Derek cleared his throat awkwardly.

“So, uh, are you excited for high school next year?”

I sighed and shook my head, “After today? I don’t think I’ll be ready for anything.”

“Yeah...” He turned on his side to face me, “I’m sorry about your aunt. I know she was important to you.”

“Thanks...” I turned, “I guess I’m just kinda worried about everything. I don’t know what life is going to be like without her. And I’m worried about Stiles too.”

“I bet. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my mom.” He said. Then, he reached out and grabbed my hand, “Whenever you feel like this again, let me know. You can come over and we can do this again. Whatever you need, I’ll be there.”

I smiled, a slight blush to my cheeks that I really hoped was hidden in the dark, “Thanks, Derek.”

“Of course.” He smiled, “It’s what friends do.”

The communication with Beacon Hills was slim to none. And, ya know, that didn’t feel great. I understood that everyone was busy living their lives whether it was being a high school student or fighting supernatural beings or being a supernatural being or the sheriff in a town full of both. But unanswered texts and calls were starting to get to me.

The ones I got weren’t great either though. Stiles occasionally sent me a long email about the events that had happened since long distance calls weren’t in the phone plan.

I had learned more about the alpha pack - a blind one, a woman who could definitely use a manicure, a strong man, and twins who could morph into each other. I was almost a little happy I didn’t have to deal with that.

All the betas were missing except Isaac who had stayed behind. Even if he did get in trouble every now and then.

And then missing turned into dead. Hearing that Erica was dead really hit me hard. I barely knew the girl, a few moments and quick chats usually didn’t mean that much. But they found her locked in a closet, rotting. It was horrifying. She was a child. She was finally enjoying her life - a new life without seizures and bullying, her parents had taken her to get pictures taken; happy to see that their little girl loved herself for the first time. Now she was gone.

They found Boyd alive, thankfully. And surprisingly, they had found Derek’s sister: Cora.

Not forgetting that there were flocks of animals committing mass suicide and kids turning up murdered. It seems home is getting more and more dangerous. Not only was there an alpha pack but there was a creature called a Darach, a dark druid.

The leader of the alpha pack, Deucalion, was trying to get Derek to join his pack. He also wanted me to join as well, apparently he had been asking where I was. To join, he would have to kill the betas. Derek, who I’m sure was done being manipulated, refused. To keep him safe, Derek kicked Isaac out of the depot to live with Scott.

Speaking of dead...

Even thousands of miles away, the vision of falling three stories still hurt as much as if I was actually there. A battle between the alphas, Derek and Scott. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if Derek was alive or dead. Every little message I thought to him just echoed in my head. I had cried, tried forcing myself to work through it. But nothing really worked. I still woke up in the middle of the night, naked on the castle grounds having shifted my feelings or else I was instinctually trying to search for him. First it was anger, next it was denial, then more anger. And that was all just last night.

Hell, not even forgetting to mention the fact that the test Lachlan ran on me was a little more than just a blood panel. They checked for human chorionic gonadotropin hormone aka the pregnancy hormone. And things were just getting better and better. Because it was positive. I am pregnant. And the father may be dead.

Sending a preemptive long distance fee to Stiles’ PayPal account, I called the house phone. It didn’t have caller ID but it was something. Michael didn’t think it was a good idea, however, it was gonna be a cold day in Hell before I listened to his double agent ass. Lachlan thought I deserved closure. And I trusted him more.

“Stilinski residence.” Stiles’ voice was a little scratchy, but still loud and clear.

“Stiles, if you hang up on me I swear you will live to regret it. I still have access to your secret YouTube channel.” There was a pause on the other end, then a sigh.

“Hey (Y/N). I was wondering why I got an email from my PayPal."

"Is there a reason I've been on everyone's pay no mind list? Because it's starting to piss me off."

"Well... Derek said that we shouldn't worry about or get you stressed out."

"So not talking to me for months is supposed to help?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Uh... Ya got me there."

I groaned and started tapping my foot, "I just...." My mind seemed to go blank, my heart rate going up. That's not right. I wasn't doing anything to make it spike like this.

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry, I wish I could contact you more. But there's a lot going on here with the alpha pack and Lydia and-and Derek-"

"Shit." I wheezed, sitting down on the bed. My body felt so warm and not in the way it normally would.

"Yeah I know, it's a lot right now-" His voice was drowned out by my senses taking over. It was the familiar warmth of intimacy. But not from me. It was Derek! He was alive. But he was with someone. And that someone-

He was kissing her. Touching her. His heart racing. Her touch set his skin ablaze and nothing else mattered. Not even the wounds on his body that nearly killed him. But all that mattered was her intoxicating touch. The touch of a woman he didn’t know. But her whole being enveloped him.

I screamed loudly in anger, but behind that anger was so much pain. My chest ached and felt like it was being pulled across the world. I dropped the phone, holding my chest.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)! What's wrong?!" My breathing was erratic and my thoughts were going wild between what had just happened and what I was thinking and what I had to do from here. I felt so helpless and alone. What could I do?

Then... There was an answer. Maybe it was the stress? Maybe it was my raging hormones? But I had my answer.

I picked the phone back up.

"(Y/N)! Talk to me, what's going on?"

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, "Derek’s alive."

"He is?"

"But not for long." I hung up.

How dare he? HOW COULD HE? AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH OUR ENTIRE LIVES AND HE JUST- JUST THROWS IT ALL OUT? And for what? Who could have been more important than me? I'm his stupid mate for Christ's sake.

But if he wants to sleep around?

Fine.

He could for the next thirteen hours. Because I'm going back to Beacon Hills for the soul purpose of ripping his heart out like he did mine. And if this emotional trauma affected my child? Well, there were repercussions for that too.

Michael and Lachlan were in my room, watching me as I threw together a bag to take on the plane. Remarkably, as a member of the Lunar Circle I would get free airfare courtesy of Lachlan mostly because the guy was insanely rich and he agreed with my revenge plot, for the most part.

"Okay, let's think rationally here." Michael said, taking things out of my bag as I was putting them in, "He's a total douche bag for doing this. We all agree. But in your state, I don't think you should fly. I mean anything could happen."

"I can fly until I'm thirty-six weeks along." I said curtly, grabbing my things out of his hands and putting them back in the bag.

"Come on, think about what you're doing-"

"I have thought about it. And I'm going to kill him."

Michael looked back at Lachlan who had his arms crossed over my chest, only observing.

"A little help here, Praetor McLeod?"

Lachlan shrugged, "Seems justified to me."

"Murder? Murder seems justified to you." He asked incredulously.

"It's the werewolf way." Lachlan said simply.

"Thank you, Lachlan." I smiled.

"Anytime."

"Okay, what about this?" Michael stood in front of my path to my bag, "Murdering him seems like a great idea right now, I totally get it. But-but if you do that, it will weigh heavily on your conscience."

"The Lunar Circle has excellent insurance, including therapy." Lachlan chimed in.

I moved Michael out of the way, "Duly noted."

Michael sputtered, "And-and your baby? What about your baby? That's their dad."

"Their dad who decided to stick his penis in another woman." I raised my eyebrows at him, "That one? Yeah, what a stand up guy."

“But you love him. Don’t you think killing him-”

“Michael!” I slammed my suitcase shut, “Shut up.” I turned and faced both of them, “You’re right, okay? I do love him, which is the worst part. I hate him so much but I still love him. I dedicated my life to him and I thought he had dedicated himself to me. I was wrong.” I zipped the bag and made my way out the door, “I’ll be back at the end of the week.”

Getting on the plane didn’t take long. Relatively short lines, quick ticket, fast boarding. Like someone was looking out for me as I went to kick Derek's ass. Becoming alpha to Derek's pack was starting to sound better and better as the pain continued to radiate through my body. Eventually, I just felt numb.

The people on the plane were nice. I sat next to an older gentleman who slept for the most part so I could whisper profanities under my breath. The stewardess had been kind, making sure I had enough to drink. It seems someone had tipped them off I was pregnant, probably Michael. The guy had been a nervous wreck since he found out I was pregnant. He wouldn’t even let me train, not like he had much of a choice in what I did. But he sure knew how to annoy me out of a room. Lachlan had been supportive, talking about adding an additional room onto mine for a nursery. I told that it wasn’t necessary since I wouldn’t be staying in Scotland that long.

After the plane landed, I was met by a very tired looking Stiles. We didn’t speak much, just began the drive back home.

"So...." He swallowed, his eyes darted from me to the road ahead, "Pregnant," He chuckled nervously, "That-that's great! I'm so happy for you.” He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. He was hesitating, he wanted to say something else, “Uh...Speaking of-” I groaned loudly, another lecture.

He ignored my dramatics, “Maybe you shouldn't kill him. That's not good for the baby..."

“It wasn’t good for the baby when he decided to take our bond, step on it and rub it in the dirt.” He was silent, but not for long.

"Yeah-but you see we kinda need Derek to help with some big bads. Like Deucalion and the Darach and ya know, other stuff."

"I remember you telling me about it. I tried to do some research but Lachlan said that we didn’t have too much information on them.”

“Well that’s not too helpful.”

We made it back to the house at sunset, which was perfect timing. The cover of night would be great to conceal me in the dark. Sure, he would smell my scent but he would have no idea where I was coming from. I pulled on the handle on the door but stared at it when it didn’t budge. Still locked. I looked back at Stiles. He looked tired, a wreck.

“Would you just... See dad before you cover yourself in blood? He was really excited to hear you were coming home.” Like he always seemed to be, Stiles’ was right. I should see Uncle Noah.

“I will. I need to rest anyway. Besides, I can’t kill him on an empty stomach.” I winked.

“You terrify me.” He unlocked the doors. We got out just in time for Uncle Noah to jog down the driveway.

“There she is!” He grinned, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight.

“I missed you so much.” I said into his shirt, giving him a soft squeeze. He pulled away and looked over me, “Look at you.” He motioned to my stomach that looked more like I was bloated than a fetus growing inside of me, “This-this is... Mhm. Exciting!”

I chuckled, “Thanks. Very mhm.”

“Uh, you hungry?”

“Starving.”

Dinner had been extremely awkward, the conversation mostly coming back to the child growing inside of me. Lots of questions from both of them. Mostly how I hadn't called. In actuality I had called approximately twenty times a day with no answer from anyone per Derek's request. Unfortunately for him, his requests were now being put on the back burner. I excused myself to my room.

My room was kept the same, I'm certain no one had been inside besides Uncle Noah. And from the ruffled blankets, maybe Stiles. Back when we were kids, we used to sneak scary movies and had to sleep in a huddled pile because we were too scared to sleep by ourselves.

I grabbed a jacket and opened up my window, I was half way out of it when my door opened. Stiles stood in the doorway. We stared at each other for a minute.

“I may regret saying this one day because I don’t care for Derek, but don’t kill him.” He said, “Kick the living shit out of him, sure. Get in a few punches for me. But don’t kill him. We need him.” Of course, all it took was Stiles to talk me off the murder-ledge.

“I won’t kill him.” I smiled, “I’ll be home soon.”

Odds are, with the alpha pack threat Derek will have the depot protected. What he failed to remember was that the most dangerous being in the world had a key to every place in the depot. I simply walked in the front door. Almost like he was expecting me.

His scent was so strong, like the forest after it rained. It made this ball of emotion well up in my chest bringing me back to all the love and memories we had shared together. Not all the memories were life and death. They weren't all fights. Some days, Derek and I would curl up and bed and never leave, only grabbing food here and there. His smile would light up his whole face, sometimes it would even reach his green eyes and make them sparkle. When he would nap, he would lay his head on my chest and sleep, like he was finally at peace with himself and the world. That was the person I loved.

I walked through the main room at the depot, getting to the stairs. The worst part here was the pictures, us together, the pack. I want to make the depot less abandoned and more homey for the betas to have a place to go and relax. Some of the pictures had turned heads at the photo developing counter (but I had managed to convince them that it was for a theater class). The worst part was that on my way here Boyd had been killed. If only I had been here soon, if only I had been here at all. Only two of the pack remained, Isaac and Jackson who was no longer a killer lizard thanks to Lydia. Say what you will about Peter Hale but sometimes he knew what he was talking about.

If Derek knew I was here, he hadn’t tried to make a move. Smart.

After wandering a bit, I finally decided to face the music. I found him hunched over his desk in the main office room. Rain was dancing against the fluorescent lights from the street lamps down below. He hadn’t looked up at me the whole time that I walked up to him. He felt defeat and alone. He had lost everything. He was looking down at his desk, his hands laced together. He looked up slightly, more looking at my shirt than my face.

“I...” His voice was soft and quiet, something unlike the loud, booming man I was used to, “I messed up.”

“Yeah, you did.” It was silent for a moment, then he spoke again.

“Who’s with you?” He asked, his eyes scanning the room.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “No one.”

“Then why do I hear another heart-” His eyes widened. He stared directly at my stomach. I thought I almost saw his ears perk up.

“Are you...”

“I am. I’m having a baby. Emphasis on the ‘I’m’.” I really hadn’t wanted to do much talking, I really hadn’t planned on saying anything besides obscenities and screaming at him. He stood up from the desk and quickly came around, he reached his hand out towards my stomach but I smacked it away.

“You have no right to touch me. Especially when I can still smell her stench on you.” I scrunched up my nose and sneered.

“Look,” He licked his lips, “I can’t give you a good answer or an excuse-”

“Good, because I don’t want one.” I glared.

He looked at me a moment then continued, “I don’t know why I did what I did. Something just came over me. Please tell me you believe me.” He put his hand on my shoulder.

He really should have taken a lesson out of his own book. With amazing speed, I grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the room. When he landed, my features shifted and my eyes glowed red. He groaned, holding at his waist. That’s where he had been injured in the alpha fight, it had healed but it was still sore.

“I don’t want your apologies.” I growled, walking towards him, “I want you to feel what I felt. The pain and the suffering. The violation...” I chuckled darkly, “You know that I felt her hands on you? Touching the most private parts of your body that only I was supposed to feel. Do you know how disgusting I felt afterwards? I felt used and dirty and it wasn’t even my body.” I stepped on his chest with my boot to keep him down on the ground. He still wasn’t looking at me. I snarled, grabbing him by his shirt and shoving him against the concrete pillar he landed on.

“Look at me!” I roared, “You broke me into a million little pieces. You didn’t answer my calls.” I punched him.

“You kept me hidden in the dark about Erica’s death.” I hit him again.

“You wouldn’t let my family communicate with me and when they did they couldn’t even tell me everything that was going on. I was begging to hear from someone, anyone, I was all alone!” I threw him across the room.

“You blocked my number two months ago.” I stalked over to him, ignoring the tears running down my face, “I couldn’t even hear your voice on your goddamn voicemail!” I got down on my knees and grabbed his chin so that his eyes met mine.

“LOOK AT ME!” I screamed, “Look what you did to me! For months you’ve been using our bond for your own strength, strength that used used to heal and have sex with another woman!” My voice was starting to crack as all the things I had thought about were coming out, “See how much my heart broke when I felt how happy you were with someone other than me.” He was finally looking at me. The worst thing though was that his eyes were full of so much love for me, that special twinkle that Peter said only happened when he looked at me. I wasn’t angry anymore, I was devastated.

“I came here to kill you.” I sniffled, my features shifting back to normal, “I wanted to tear your heart out. But I can’t... I can’t because I love you and I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I shouldn’t have hurt you, but I want to because of what you did.” As the anger fogged cleared, I realized that I was just as bad as he was.

“You had every right to hurt me-”

“No, I didn’t. I shouldn’t have hurt you. I’m sorry.” I looked down at my hands, “I felt so out of control. I thought I was getting better at it.”

“You were.” Derek sat up slowly, “It’s the baby. All of your emotions are going to be heightened. More than usual.”

“It doesn’t matter.” I made my way towards the exit, not caring that he was calling after me, running to catch up to me. I just left him there. Even when I got home and he tried to get into my window, I just ignored his pleading. What I did wasn’t right, I shouldn’t have hit him or punched him. I was just so angry and that anger clouded my vision.

Weren’t we a pair - one cheats and the other goes into a blind rage. Perfect.

------------

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sincerelyella · 3 years

Text

Always Remember Us This Way Part 2

Book: The Royal Heir (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella); Drake x OC (Alyssa Devereaux Walker)

Song Inspiration: Always Remember Us This Way by Lady Gaga

Characters belong to Pixelberry; MC Queen Ella Rys and Malia Rys belong to me; Alyssa Walker belongs to the amazing @burnsoslow and used with permission in this series.

Catch up here

A/N: In celebration of King Liam and Queen Ella’s baby girl being born in TRH2 I wanted to write something to commemorate it (kinda). Some things are canon, but don’t expect it to follow the book much.

Big thank you to @burnsoslow for reading over this and editing and making suggestions so I don’t sound like a crazy person.

Warnings: TW: angst; TW: blood; TW: childbirth complications; TW: possible major character death. There are mentions of real medical emergencies and procedures, if this is a trigger for you please don’t read any further. Also, I do not work in a maternity unit at my hospital so please excuse any inaccuracies.

Words: 2481

Liam sat in the corner of the suite that was originally assigned to Ella in the maternity unit. He sat next to his newborn daughter, Malia, occasionally checking on her if she whined or cried. The nursing staff had started checking on both him and Malia, feeding her formula or changing her diaper. He was thankful for the help since he couldn’t seem to function. He hardly spoke to anyone, he didn’t call anybody; all he could do was sit and stare at Malia.

He kept thinking about Ella; the last time he saw her smile, the last time he kissed her mouth, the last words she said to him, the last time he heard her sing.

So when I’m all choked up, And I can’t find the words

Every time we say goodbye, Baby, it hurts

It had been about an hour or so since he last saw his wife, he couldn’t get the last image of her out of his mind. She was extremely pale, unconscious, with her mouth open. Her beautiful face looked so … lifeless. Liam leaned forward in his chair, hands covering his face as he started to sob. He didn’t know how long he sat there crying; his whole body heaved as he tried to suck in air. She made me promise to save our baby. He knew this is what she would have wanted, but why? He wiped his hands on his jeans and looked at Malia again, reaching over to touch her little body. Somehow, being close to his baby girl made him feel closer to her mother, and it gave him some peace. “I’m sorry I let you down, princess,” he whispered shakily as he tried to hold back a sob. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. We were supposed to be happy together. We were supposed to take you … home … ” he trailed off and sucked in a breath to hold in the tears.

When you look at me, And the whole world fades

I’ll always remember us this way

Suddenly, his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw Drake’s face on the caller ID. He swiped to answer and just held the phone to his ear, unable to say the words.

“Li?”

Liam mustered all the energy he could, but his voice still cracked as he spoke. “Drake.”

“Liam. What’s going on?” Drake could sense it; he heard the wavering in Liam’s response. Something wasn’t right, and his best friend had never called him and Alyssa after leaving for the hospital. He heard Liam’s erratic breathing on the other end of the phone. “Liam! What is it? Is it the baby?”

Liam broke down on the phone. He couldn’t speak; he just cried and didn’t give a damn who heard him. He could vaguely hear Drake on the other end panicking, then hanging up abruptly. Liam let the phone fall from his ear to the floor. I shouldn’t have answered that.

Drake hastily hung up on Liam. Why did no one call me?! What the fuck is happening? Drake fumbled with the phone. His mind was going a mile-a-minute after hearing his best friend lose control of his emotions. The always stoic king wouldn’t just display his emotions like that in public ... unless it had something to do with his family. He wasn’t sure what to think or how bad it was going to be. He dialed Bastien’s number and waited … and waited … and waited. He growled, cursing under his breath as he hung up.

“Drake? Why are you growling? Did you get in touch with Liam?” Alyssa walked out from the bedroom, seeing her husband’s panic stricken face, and her eyes widened. “What’s going on? Is it the baby?!”

“I-I don’t know! I called Liam and he …” he trailed off, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

“He what?” Alyssa’s heart filled with dread, the pregnancy hormones didn’t help matters. She hastily walked to her him and placed her hands on his cheeks to look at her. Her husband rarely cried, and right now, he was very close to it.

“I don’t know, Lyss,” he whispered. “I asked … about the baby … and he completely lost it on the phone.”

Alyssa gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, eyes immediately watering. “Oh my God, do you think it’s Ella? We have to go!”

Drake sprang up from the couch and fell into step with his wife who rushed to the front door. He grabbed his keys from the kitchen island, and the pair made their way to the truck to head for the hospital.

There was a knock on the door of the maternity suite, and Liam snapped his head up, opening his eyes. He blinked to refocus and saw Dr. Ramirez standing there, studying him with a worried look. Liam stood abruptly, trying to wake himself up. “I-I’m sorry … I must have fallen asleep.” He wrinkled his brow. “Where is my wife?”

Dr. Ramirez stepped forward. “Her Majesty was bleeding profusely. I apologize if you were removed from the room but- ”

“It’s fine, doctor, but my wife?” He punctuated the last few words. “I want …” He took a breath in and let it out slowly to control the overwhelming emotion building in his chest. “I … need … to see her.” He didn’t want words right now; he just wanted to see Ella.

Dr. Ramirez nodded in understanding. “I can take you to her now; the nurses will watch Malia here.”

Liam nodded and turned to Malia before leaving. “Daddy will be back soon; I love you.” He gently kissed his daughter on the forehead before following Dr. Ramirez to the intensive care unit, Bastien following close behind.

As they walked, Liam turned to Bastien.

“Your Majesty?”

“Please have guards outside of Malia’s room.”

Bastien nodded, “Yes, sir.”

Once they reached the ICU, Liam was taken to a large area that had no patients. “Why are all the rooms empty?”

“This wing has been cleared out so that Her Majesty is the only one here.”

Liam nodded, his anxiety rising as they got closer to a single area of the unit that looked like it was occupied.

Dr. Ramirez stopped in front of a door with a guard standing outside of it and turned to Liam. “She is stabilized for now; however, we admitted her here so we can watch her closely. I just wanted to warn you, Your Majesty” - Dr. Ramirez placed a hand on Liam’s arm to get him to look at her - “She has a lot of wires around her, she’s getting medication and blood, and she isn’t awake yet. It might be a little … overwhelming for you.”

Liam nodded and waved his hand so the guard would move. He slowly turned the knob and peered inside. He felt tears of joy, relief, and the pain from being so close to losing her fall from his eyes as he walked towards the bed and grasped her small hand in his. Liam leaned over to kiss her lips, cheeks, forehead … any part he could reach, he kissed. “I thought I lost you, I love you, don’t leave me again,” he whispered in between kisses. He vowed to himself that he would never take another day with her, his family, for granted.

He finally sat back in the chair next to the bed, put their intertwined hands on his forehead and thanked God she was still there with him.

A knock pulled him out of his moment and Dr. Ramirez walked inside. “Your Majesty, are you ready for me to answer some questions now?”

“Y-yes, I’m sorry … I just needed to … see her,” he croaked as the lump grew in his throat.

“I understand; please don’t apologize.” She pulled a chair up to sit in front of him. “So I’ll explain what happened. You can ask me whatever comes to your mind.”

Liam nodded.

“Her Majesty had a retained placenta. This means that the sac that held Malia was supposed to come out just a little while after Malia was born. But in Her Majesty’s case, it didn’t. A small piece of it was attached to the wall of her uterus.”

“How … did that happen?”

“Unfortunately, the causes are still unknown. There are risk factors for it, but she didn’t have any of them when I was seeing her throughout her pregnancy. The only thing that I can think of was that her labor was somewhat long and extremely difficult for her. That could have played a factor.”

“Okay, so she’s not bleeding right now?”

“Well, after childbirth she will be bleeding; that’s normal. The problem was that her placenta needed to be removed and that area cauterized. We gave her medication to stop the hemorrhage from that area. She was bleeding entirely too much, so much so that her blood pressure dropped to a dangerous level and her heart rate spiked.”

“Is that why she was …” His eyes welled up again, and he clenched his jaw to stop them from falling. “Is that why she was … unconscious and pale?”

Dr. Ramirez nodded. “Yes, the blood loss made her pass out, and that’s the reason her blood pressure was so low. She had a lot less blood volume in her body than normal, and her heart was beating faster to compensate.”

Liam nodded again.

“She has a blood transfusion going right now. We’ll see how she does with that and recheck her.”

“When do you think she’ll … wake up?”

“It’s hard to say, her vitals are stable right now; and we took her off oxygen a little bit ago.”

“Thank you … so much for saving … my wife.” His voice hitched at his last words, and he cleared his throat. “I thought I’d lost her …”

“Please don’t thank me, Your Majesty. This is my job, and it’s an honor to be her doctor.” She gave him a small smile. “She means a lot to all of us as well.” Liam smiled in understanding. His wife took the hospital on as her personal project when she became queen. She made it her mission to assist with quality assurance and worked with many doctors and nurses to improve hospital flow and policies. Dr. Ramirez paused and cleared her throat before she got emotional. “Now, you know how to get in touch with me should you have any questions or concerns?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Dr. Ramirez curtsied and left the room, while Bastien poked his head inside. “I’m sorry about this, sir, but Drake has called me nonstop. What do you want me to tell him?”

“I’ll call him and tell him what happened.”

Bastien nodded and closed the door behind him.

Drake and Alyssa ran into the hospital, looking for the maternity unit.

“There!” Drake yelled and they rushed to the front desk.

“Excuse me,” Alyssa said, out of breath, to the secretary at the desk. “We’re here to see Queen Ella. We know she went into labor earlier this morning.”

“How are you related to Her Majesty?”

“We are her best friends, practically family. I expect you’ll see us on the security clearance list.” Alyssa said in a firm tone, setting her lips in a hard line. “King Liam hasn’t been answering our calls. W-we need to see her!” Her voice cracked, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall.

Drake gently held his wife and rubbed her shoulders.

“I need to check with protocol, ma’am. I’m very sorry about this, but … the royal family have certain security measures in place.” The secretary gave them an apologetic look.

“It’s fine, thank you. We’ll wait over here,” Drake coaxed his wife to sit on one of the chairs in the family waiting area.

“We’re her family, Drake.” Alyssa wailed. “We should be able to see her!”

“Shhh, I know, but if something happened to her or the baby, they’re going to be extremely cautious.” He regretted his words immediately as he watched Alyssa begin to cry into her hands. He pulled her into his arms and stroked her back as he let her cry.

“D-did you try … calling Bastien … again?” she sniffled into his chest.

“I’ll try again, baby,” he assured her, as he dug into his pocket, fishing for his phone. He pressed Bastien’s number and hoped that damn man answered his phone this time.

“Drake.” He heard Bastien’s lowered voice on the other end of the line.

“Bastien! What the fuck is going on? Why haven’t you answered my calls?!” Drake forgot where he was as he shouted; his voice carried through the halls.

“I’m sorry, Drake, but we … didn’t have any answers and His Majesty was-”

Drake sighed in frustration. “Just … where is he, Bastien? Where is Ella? And the baby?”

Drake heard a beeping on his phone and looked down to see that Liam was calling him. “Bas, Liam is calling-”

“You need to answer that.” Bastien promptly hung up, and Drake answered Liam’s call.

“Li. Where are you? Lyss and I are here in the maternity unit.”

He heard his brother sigh on the other end of the phone. “I’m in the ICU … with Ella.”

“Th-the … what?!”

“I’ll explain everything when you get here. We’re on the fourth floor.”

“We’re on the way.” He hung up and slowly met Alyssa’s stare.

“What did he say?”

Drake took a deep breath in and let it out. “Liam is on the fourth floor-”

“Why? What’s on the fourth floor?”

He paused for a moment, looking at his wife. “He’s in the ICU … with Ella.”

Alyssa’s jaw went slack. “THE ICU?!” Faster than he had ever seen her, she bolted up and ran for the elevator, pressing the button repeatedly.

“Alyssa.” Drake grabbed her hand and held it. “Don’t panic! It’s not good for you or our baby.”

“Don’t panic? Do you know what the ICU is?!” Her lower lip trembled.

“Liam actually was able to actually speak without crying, Lyssa,” he said, trying to calm her down. “I’m hoping that means things are better than they were when I first talked to him.”

The elevators dinged open and they both filed in, pressing the button for the fourth floor. As soon as the elevator doors reopened, Alyssa raced to the nurse’s station.

“We’re here for Queen Ella; the King called us!” Alyssa panted, gripping the counter tightly.

Drake grabbed her quickly and pulled her to him.

“Hey guys.”

Drake and Alyssa turned to see Liam, standing there with puffy, bloodshot eyes, shirt wrinkled and untucked, and his hair disheveled … like he had been running his hands through it all day.

“Wh-where is she, Liam?”

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thehumorousace · 3 years

Note

I wasn’t able to reply to that post about HRT affecting aceness, (I think replies are off) but here is my perspective, from an aroace, t4t couple!

my partner identified as ace before going on T, and now they enjoy having sex more often than they did before they went on T. I’m intersex, not on hormones but I have extra testosterone, and I casually enjoy sex (like an activity... like tennis, or mario kart). Both of us still ID as ace though! we just have we more sex than we used to.

My partner has said several times that part of the reason they disliked having sex itself was because they felt like they had to participate in it using a body that didn’t feel comfortable to them. So, your sex drive may change, and if your dysphoria has stopped you from having sex in the past, that may change as well. But like. My partner didn’t start sexualizing strangers, or finding people sexually attractive out of nowhere. Both of us are still very aroace; their opinions didn’t change, just their body.

Hope this helps! and good luck with transitioning!💝💝💝

thanks!

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comrade-meow · 3 years

Link

Bad data generates bad research; bad research generates bad treatments; bad treatments generate bad outcomes. The physiological differences between males and females are vast, and stamp their mark on every organ of the human body, not just the genitals and gonads. Ignoring these differences will muddle our data, blur our understanding of physiology, and hinder the discovery of new treatments for diseases. Females are much more likely than males to have autoimmune disorders. Males are more likely than females to develop Parkinson’s disease. Males and females may present with different symptoms preceding a heart attack. Males and females metabolize drugs differently. Blatantly ignoring sex as a variable hobbles the process of scientific inquiry and limits the types of questions that researchers will ask, thereby limiting the answers they get.

About this story: last November I came across some anonymous tweets from a person claiming to be a medical student at an American university where professors were teaching that sex is a social construct. I decided to try to find out if these claims were real, and I contacted the Twitter user, striking up a conversation with “C”. We agreed to meet on a Zoom call, and that C would show me C’s student ID, with their name and the name of the school covered, and that we would then do a written interview. C’s desire for strict anonymity is well founded in my eyes, due to the damage that could be inflicted on C’s career prospects if they were caught speaking to a publication about the ideological lies being peddled and the culture of fear at their institution.

On our thirty minute Zoom call, I met a highly intelligent, critical-minded, and determined young person who was expressing deep concern over the ways that gender identity ideology is distorting the teaching of medicine and the repercussions this may lead to in our next generation of doctors.

C held up their ID so I could see their picture on what was clearly a medical school ID. C told me their school can be categorized as “top tier.”

The irony of using “they/them” pronouns for a single person is not lost on me. I find it interesting that due to the tyranny of gender ideology, I must adhere to one of their tenets and accept the use of the plural pronoun for a single person whose sex I know. But the fact that I have to do this is because any information about C could potentially be enough to raise suspicion (just read their words to understand the climate of intimidation they witness in class everyday), and the knowledge of an individual’s sex is still a crucial identifying feature, no matter what the gender ideologues want us to believe.

C and I agreed that I would offer people on Twitter an opportunity to pose their questions directly and that C would respond in written form. Out of the many responses, the medical student chose what they considered some of the most representative and important of the questions. These are their answers below, beginning with a short message they wanted me to share.

-Sasha White

Thank you, Sasha, for having offered me this valuable opportunity to answer these questions. Before we start, I would like to clarify my stance on basic issues regarding sex and gender identity, so that people can keep these in mind while reading.

Biological sex is not a social construct – male and female are distinct material realities which have significant implications for medical and surgical treatment of many different conditions. These physiological differences are relevant on the levels of clinical practice, research, and policy, and absolutely must be acknowledged in order for physicians to best treat their patients. All patients should be treated with compassion, respect, and high-quality medical care, regardless of their professed gender identity. I remain agnostic as to what it truly means to have a “gender identity”, but will respect the wishes of my future patients in regards to their social presentation and pronouns. I believe that dysphoric adults should be able to pursue transition. Physicians should be aware of relevant aspects of trans healthcare, including hormone therapy and surgery, so that they can better advise trans patients on how medical treatments may impact their gender-related care, or vice versa. It is possible and desirable for us to have a healthcare system which is inclusive and respectful of transgender patients, in a way which does not pretend that biology is arbitrary or merely a social construct. Despite my liberal beliefs, the loudest voices at my institution would falsely accuse me of blowing transphobic dog-whistles, hence my anonymity. This hostile climate is corrosive to an inquiry mindset and critical thinking, and will ultimately be a disservice to the scientific community and to future patients, trans and otherwise.

IDD64 @IDD64 asks: “What happened to “nobody’s saying sex isn’t real”?”

This is actually what compelled me to speak out about this practice in the first place. Well-intentioned non-medical people often assume that medical schools are teaching something like, “Gender identity can be fluid and varied, but biological sex is real, binary, and relevant in medical contexts.” This idea is around five years out of date in the most progressive of institutions. I have been told multiple times in several classes that biological sex is a social construct – not just gender. Granted, I can speak only for my institution, but this change has been frustrating and disturbing to witness.

Robert Woolley @RandomlyBob asks: “Do any of the required textbooks also avoid using those words? If not, might you ask those professors if they think the books are either inaccurate or offensive?”

Our curriculum is constantly subject to revision. Around two-thirds of our written materials have been updated with this new language. For the one-third that has remained out-of-date, our class has received multiple apologetic, itemized emails from course instructors in which they provide corrections, beg for forgiveness and patience, and avow to “do better”. In class, we have been given multiple histories in which the patient’s sex has been deleted, even for cases involving disorders which can manifest differently between the sexes. The words “female” and “male” are being erased and replaced.

Born a space baby @ggynoid asks: “What’s the dynamic like for class participation? Do people start with pronouns? Do people tend to agree, disagree? What’s the female-male ratio in the class typically on these sort[s] of classes?”

When school first began, we were heavily encouraged to include pronouns in our Zoom names and email signatures; around 70-80% of the class did so. Most students and professors would start off verbal introductions with their name and pronouns, though that has subsided since we all have grown to know each other.

A vocal minority of students are loudly in favor of the most extreme aspects of gender ideology, while the majority seem to be vaguely supportive in a nonspecific way. I think that this comes from a mixture of naive goodwill and fear – they are trying to be good allies, and this is the only way they know how. Additionally, it is heavily implied that to ask critical questions, even in a way which is ultimately patient-centered and supportive, is perpetuating bigotry, so they just nod along. A silent minority seems to be secretly skeptical. I have met four or five students who have disclosed to me in private conversation that they disagree with one or more aspects of this dogma but they are hesitant to come forward in group settings. I am sure that more exist, but they are hard to find. None of these people have been transphobic.

The female-male ratio is approximately equal, with slightly more females than males in my class.

David Poole @MrDPoole asks: “Do you think the people telling you these things actually believe it or are they being forced to do it?”

I think that a very small minority of our professors actually believe that male and female bodies are interchangeable with the exception of genitalia and gonads. There are definitely more woke students than woke professors, and the most radical of students are far more radical than the wokest professor. Most of these professors are very fearful of saying the wrong thing, so they delicately couch their language by referring to “XX and XY people” or other such euphemisms, even though that can lead to inaccuracies.

The social consequences for misspeaking are highly magnified, especially when most classes are delivered online (due to the pandemic). Our class has been quietly accused of having a mean streak in regards to social justice. We have had petitions circulated (drafted by few, signed by many) to name, shame, and “hold accountable” various lecturers who used the “wrong” language, to the point of humiliation. One professor broke down crying after a genetics lecture which relied heavily on the use of “male” and “female” by necessity. (Though the lecture also made ample space to talk about transgender and non-binary individuals, this was not enough to appease the critics.) Another professor referred to “pregnant women” rather than “pregnant people” and spent a very uncomfortable few minutes after class abjectly apologizing for having caused offense “by implying that only women can get pregnant”. It was incredibly disturbing to see, for multiple reasons. One, this is based on bad science and zealotry that has the potential to harm patients. Two, the magnitude of the “crime” pales in comparison to the magnitude of the outcry. Three, it is a total inversion of the expected social order to see these physicians —some of whom are literally leading scholars in their field— be reduced to fearful puddles if a student so much as looks at them askance. Keep in mind that these professors are extremely liberal, compassionate, and well-meaning, yet they are turned upon with such venom and verve by the people who they are trying to please.

Chopper @RodeoChopper asks: How are cases presented? Normally the first line is “This is a such and such year old (male/female) with a past medical history significant for…”

Here are some examples of formats I have seen in our coursework:

“This is a 43-year-old woman with ovaries, presenting with …”

“A 3-year-old child, assigned male at birth, not assigned gender as of yet by parents, presenting with …”

“This patient is a 7-year-old child, gendered as a boy by his parents, who …”

“57-year-old woman with testes, here with …”

“A 16-year-old patient (gender non-binary, pronouns they/them) …”

“A 32-year-old woman (she/her/hers) …”

“A 16-year-old patient presents with complaints of …”

Of the myriad problems with this structure, the most concerning is that most of these cases do not accurately identify the sex of the patient, which is crucial in being able to weigh the likelihood of potential diagnoses and treatments. A person’s pronouns are not relevant when deciding to prescribe a particular antibiotic, and at which dose. Additionally, I find it somewhat irritating to be expected to state the obvious for things that are the default of the human experience. We do not say, “This is a 42-year-old woman with both her arms and legs”, although there are certainly women in this world who are missing one or more of their limbs.

MaryWrath @WrathMary asks: “So how are reproductively different bodies described then? How are cardiac arrest and stroke symptoms described, explained and taught as we know now they present differently across the two sexes? There are clearly two bodies in our species so how are the professors acknowledging?”

Organs are referred to by their actual names – penis, testes, vagina, ovaries, breasts. However, referring to patients as male or female is strictly taboo. If there are relevant but subtle sex-specific differences, then they will often be downplayed or ignored altogether. As an example, we were told that the higher risk of heart attacks in men was due only to the presence of testosterone, and not for any other reason, which is patently false. When the differences are utterly impossible to ignore, “male” and “female” will simply be rebranded as “people with testes/ovaries”, “AMAB/AFAB”, or “people with/without Y chromosomes”. My personal favorite is “persons with [testosterone/estrogen] as their primary sex hormone.” Oddly, “man” and “woman” are still used, often with redundant qualifiers (“56-year-old man with testes”).

thames pilgrim @thames_pilgrim asks: “What are the most dangerous medical implications for turning a blind eye to someone’s sex due to a belief that talking about “male” and “female” might offend?”

This is a very important question which should be addressed at the following interrelated levels: clinical practice, research, and public policy.

Clinical practice: Transgender patients who do not disclose their birth sex might be at risk for improper medical treatment. (I have seen a natal female person who identified as a nonbinary man, be suspected of having testicular torsion; this person did not disclose their sex to the physician, which resulted in a delay in their care). Out of fear of being branded transphobic, physicians may not accurately and completely inform trans patients about their sex-specific risk for certain medical conditions. And for all patients, if a poorly-educated doctor is unaware as to how disorders manifest differently between the sexes, then patients can be harmed through the failure to rapidly and accurately diagnose and treat their medical conditions.

Research: Bad data generates bad research; bad research generates bad treatments; bad treatments generate bad outcomes. The physiological differences between males and females are vast, and stamp their mark on every organ of the human body, not just the genitals and gonads. Ignoring these differences will muddle our data, blur our understanding of physiology, and hinder the discovery of new treatments for diseases. Females are much more likely than males to have autoimmune disorders. Males are more likely than females to develop Parkinson’s disease. Males and females may present with different symptoms preceding a heart attack. Males and females metabolize drugs differently. Blatantly ignoring sex as a variable hobbles the process of scientific inquiry and limits the types of questions that researchers will ask, thereby limiting the answers they get.

Policy: Patients who are not transgender may be misled by “inclusive” educational materials and miss out on crucial preventative care. This is especially impactful in women’s health; whether due to language barrier, subpar sex education, or cultural taboo, not every woman will even know that she has a cervix, but she will know that she is female. Additionally, recommendations made by professional medical associations are widely used in clinical practice; if these guidelines are generated based on faulty data, this could negatively impact patients on a wider scale.

However, the most pernicious of possible harms is not the denial of sex; rather, the denial of sex is just one manifestation of a greater problem, which is the corrosion of critical thinking itself. Whatever you call it – this postmodern poison, the triumph of dogma over data – it is fundamentally incompatible with critical thinking, the most powerful all-purpose tool a physician has at his or her disposal. Starting with a conclusion and working backwards, all while twisting the data to fit a narrative, strikes me as more religious than scientific.

Marjorie Hutchins @leakylike asks: “Part of being a doctor is taking on ethical & safeguarding responsibilities[.] Why aren’t medical students challenging something which [could] have health implications for patients?”

Our positions as students are precarious, especially if one is labeled as being on the wrong side of history. Consequences for speaking out can include shunning, being anonymously reported to the school for “remediation”, being informally blacklisted from research and leadership opportunities, and potentially expulsion. Until I have earned my degree and have completed residency, I need to remain anonymous. To do otherwise would be to kill my career before it has even begun, which would also limit my ability to help many more patients in the future.

Although I am very biased, I think it should be on the onus of administration and our tenured professors to stand up against this madness, rather than on lone students to publicly put themselves at risk of debt and ruin. For now, I resist in the small ways that I can; I wish to do so more publicly when I am more secure.

#Anglo.txt

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dogduocatquartet · 3 years

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@kung-slinger i genuinely almost don’t know what to say to this reply, it reads as if you didn’t even look at my post before responding. i specifically said very clearly that i don’t have anything against pit bulls and nowhere did i imply anything about violence being a need for that or any other breed of dog.

dogs will more often than not prefer to avoid fighting, they have a complex language which in large part consists of navigating around conflict (similar to wolves, since you bring that up, since they’re both social species and good communication skills are essential for functioning in groups). there are many breeds of dog that, due to a number of factors, have weaker or less clear body language than others (language between dogs is also in no small part learned, so socialization is also a factor here). pit bulls are generally considered one of these breeds, which makes a lot of the signals they send out disappear or get misunderstood, leading to heightened stress and may accidentally end up in a fight/bite even though the pit bull may have been trying to signal “i need some space”. the exact same could be said for a retriever with poor body language due to lacking socialization. a lot of owners also punish dogs’ ways of communication, such as growling (“leave me alone”), unintentionally leading to their language growing even poorer and instead of a ladder of escalating signals, the dog in question may end up jumping straight from “this is starting to become uncomfortable” to biting, rather than modifying their language accordingly and having opportunity to remove themselves from the situation. none of this is exclusive to pit bulls, but a higher tendency of conflicts CAN be seen in breeds that have poor body language, just as with dogs that are poorly socialized with other dogs.

if the word “aggression” makes you uncomfortable, let’s call it “stress” instead. a stressed dog may engage in behavior we consider aggressive, so these often overlap or are basically interchangeable anyway. some breeds are more predisposed to stress around either other members of the same sex as them or just other dogs in general, though again there are many factors to consider as to why this is. it’s been a while since i read up on this specifically, so anyone is free to correct me on this, but breeds with same-sex stress often have a higher production of hormones, making them more “competitive” with members of the same sex. for wolves, this can be a useful trait if they break off from their original family group (that’s generally what wolf packs are; two parent wolves and their children) to mate, establish their own territory, and create a new familial group (aka pack). akitas, frenchies, shibas, and st. bernards are some other dog breeds that have a relatively high occurrence of same-sex stress. terriers, guarding breeds, and herding dogs tend to have this in higher degrees than hunting or companion breeds. but again, ymmv.

stress, aggression, fights etc. between dogs are also often triggered by resource guarding. any dog can have issues with resource guarding, but breeds that have typically been bred to guard often have a higher tendency of this, and may be quicker to escalate the situation, because that’s what they’ve been bred for. dogs that have been bred to be independent and guard the home also have a higher tendency to “deal with” conflicts on their own, than dogs bred to be more handler-oriented. again, these are things to consider when getting a dog. for some people, these traits are desirable, for some they’re a downside that other traits weigh up for, for others it’s a dealbreaker. all of these are fine, and should honestly be encouraged more, because, as i said, not all dogs are suited for any person, and not all people are suited for any dog.

the reason pit bulls are often overrepresented in discussions of shelters/rescues is partly because it’s more of an umbrella term than a very coherent breed, referring to bull-type terriers and mixes thereof. there technically IS the american pit bull terrier, though this is not a breed recognized by the FCI or the AKC. regardless, a lot of different dogs often get lumped into the same category, especially when the history of the dog is unknown and it kind of looks like a bull-type terrier breed. ive seen plenty of “pit bulls” that probably have more pinscher or molosser/mastiff in them than bull-type terriers. so just on that alone, you have a huge span of dogs with varying temperaments and historical uses, and that’s before you consider more “immediate” factors like genetic lines and socialization (or nurture, if you will). there’s also the fact that due to their appearance, history, and reputation, there are a lot of terrible bull-type breeders out there, who breed for unethical reasons or for profit, which in turn produces a higher amount of dogs with poor backgrounds and poor parentage, which in turn makes a lot of these dogs end up in shelters (good breeders will commonly take the dogs back if there’s an issue or the owner has to surrender it, so more bad breeders = more dogs in shelters). this is not the dogs’ fault, obviously. in my experience, huskies and border collies are also breeds that make up a big chunk of shelter populations, because they might be cute when they’re puppies, but they often end up being more demanding than someone just wanting a family dog can handle. no amount of nurture can change an individual dog’s energy level or need for stimulation. what you CAN do is meet the dog’s needs. this is not the same thing as nature vs nurture. i cant love or train away a husky’s energy level, but i can let it use its natural resources by taking it for longer/more frequent walks/runs, maybe do some sledding/pulling/packing with it, making it a happier and more well-adjusted dog.

i recently saw a family with a staffordshire bull terrier who was very sweet with them and all around a great dog, but who would bark and pull incessantly whenever he’d see another dog. they had no idea how or why this happened, as he was otherwise really nice and they’d tried to socialize him a lot as a puppy. turns out, what they’d done when the dog was younger was let him meet every single dog they saw or walked past on the street, which created an expectation which created stress which ended up in very strong “stay away from me!!!” signals (barking, showing teeth, leaning forward). this is extremely common for dog owners of all breeds and it’s honestly both annoying and saddening, because no dog needs to befriend every dog they happen across, and it’s often counterproductive and create stress instead, especially since leashes limit a dog’s body language. your dog can hate every other dog in the world, but as long as they can walk past them without acting out, it’s literally not a problem. some dog breeds are less inclined to get along with other dogs, and that’s fine! they don’t need to hang with other dogs to be happy and if you train them to walk past other dogs it’ll likely never be an issue. like i said earlier on, dogs will almost always try to avoid conflict when they can, so you’ll be doing you, your dog, and other people and dogs a favor if you stop trying to “socialize” your dog that doesn’t like other dogs with said other dogs, and instead focusing on walking well on a leash. which is something that all dog owners should be aware of, not just owners of breeds that aren’t generally sociable with other dogs or people outside its family, which are typical traits of bull-type terriers.

and just to sum it up and really spell it out: i don’t think any dog is born “aggressive”. i think genetics, socialization, instincts, and training all play a role, and sometimes you can do everything right and still get a stressed dog that may lash out. dogs have also been selectively bred for all kinds of purposes by humans for thousands of years, so dogs of different breeds and origins may have very different behaviors, reactions, and instincts that we’ve often deliberately created. it’s bizarre and just plain wrong to state that all dogs and all dog breeds are born essentially with the same configuration and everything else is just “nurture”. pit bulls are often singled out or used as examples like in the post i reblogged because of their high density in shelters combined with their bad reputation, media sensationalism, and stereotypes. they’re not inherently worse or better than other dogs. they’re similar to rottweilers to me; fine dogs, can be great family pets, but you should know what you’re getting beforehand because they’re big strong dogs that may possess strong prey drive, same-sex stress, or guarding instincts + for which there are a lot of shitty breeders. id say the same for poodles or retrievers honestly; they can be high energy and were originally hunting dogs, so you should do your research, as with any other breed. i feel like over-defending and figuratively “defanging” pit bulls may end up doing more harm than good, even if the intentions are good, because downplaying a dog or breed’s potentially negative traits and specific needs will likely just result in the dog ending up with people who don’t know what they’re doing and who were expecting, like.. a bichon in terms of temperament and drive. how about we all just have a normal, neutral, informed approach to these breeds instead of this insane, eternal discourse where both sides can be equally fanatical? thanks

#replies #dogblr #dogs #long post #????? you are projecting thoughts and opinions i do not have and have never expressed onto me

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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With a little help from your friends (the help is praise kink and the friend is your boyfriend)

Who would have thought that fucking your boyfriend senseless cures dysphoria.

Alternatively: being a dom is actually something that can be so gender,

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Pairing: Andy Kang/Tom Sato

Additional tags: let's see, mild mentions of transphobic and racist comments, Comfort Sex, the filthiest comfort sex uve ever seen but WHATEVER, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Dom/sub Play, Collars, Praise Kink, basically someone says transphobic shit and then tom rides him and talks about how wonderful andy is, except tom has also been in denial for a few days and he's super horny, and andy gets in domspace and everything is great and nothing hurts, Fluff and Smut, Humor, cuz u know these two are incapable of taking anything too seriously, Established Relationship, oh they're both in college and they go to the same college cuz i said so, set after the events of it lives beneath, that's it I think, trans author if that matters to you

Read it on Ao3

Andy isn't having a great day. It's not a terrible, clawing-at-his-chest-trying-to-deal-with-dysphoria kind of day, but he's been trying out this "not comparing everything to the worst possible scenario" thing his therapist has been talking about, so still, not a great day.

The thing is, he thought college would be easier. And it is, in a lot of ways. For starters, there is no evil monster spectre trying to kill him, which gives college at least 5 points over high school. And his uni has a pretty solid queer club, so he knows other trans people there. Some of them are even non-white. Some of them he even actually, truly likes. And most of the time, he feels like he has a place to turn to, and people to support him. He's not alone. He has people who get him. And that makes all the difference.

But basketball is still a nightmare, and his knee still hurts when it's cold, and winter is officially starting now.

People still hesitate to pass the ball to him, and it's frustrating, because Andy fought so hard to earn his old team's trust and now he's back at square zero. And well, Andy has been gaining this team's trust, because he's good, goddamn it, and his team owes at least the last three victories to him. He's not hesitant to say that, especially because otherwise no one will. And he can see that they look at him differently now - nod at him in the hallways, at least, talk to him in the locker room, pass him the fucking ball if his position is very, very open.

But if he weren't trans and Asian, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get all of that - or well, just that, really. He has a full sports scholarship despite the fact that he had a broken leg, had to retake his last year of high school, and doesn't even have the body type for basketball. If he weren't Asian, if he weren't trans, his team would have assumed his greatness from day one. Instead, he has to show it to them time and time again only to get them to reluctantly admit maybe he's not bad. No one calls him "triple threat" anymore, but he still has to work three times harder than anyone else, and it's frustrating.

And usually Andy can deal with it, but right now his knee hurts, and he can't afford that because he'll lose everything he's worked for if his teammates know that his fucking knee hurts. So, he braved training and then he got the fuck out of there without even changing so no one would see him wince. Which means he's still in basketball shorts, which are short, in the cold, which means his leg hurts more.

At times like these, he's thankful he never got the chance to go through with his promise to break his other leg kicking Noah's ass. Because he would have, and then both his legs would be hurting right now, and two legs that hurt every time it's cold is just too many legs.

No comparing to the worst possible scenario, he tells himself. Therapy is so hard. If he had known there would be homework, he would have thought twice about going.

And that's, apparently, the cue for his phone to go off. Andy smiles, knowing who it is even before he opens the message, because only one person messages him during class, and it's the only person he wants to hear from right now.

Tom <3 sent you a message

Grinning like a fool, he opens it.

Tom <3: dude, im horny af rn. the fuck

Finally, good news, Andy thinks, smiling. Then he remembers why Tom is so horny, and suddenly this day is great, actually.

He quickly types a reply.

You: who wouldve thought that 3 days of denial would make this happen

Tom <3: ill have u kno i was very good at holding it together before today

You: yeah, dw. soon u wont have to hold it anymore ;)

Tom <3: that flirt was terrible, dude

You: said the guy whos calling me dude for the second time in this conversation

Tom <3: what else should i call u? 😩

Andy thinks for a second. Tom and him do longer-term denial every once in a while, but they aren't in a 24/7 relationship. Does Andy really want to go there right now? Yes. Well, that was fast. Okay then.

You: how about "sir"

Tom's reply comes fast as lightning.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

Andy smirks at himself.

You: uve been hoping that id say that, havent u?

Tom types for just a little longer this time.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

----

Many things are wrong with the world, and Andy doesn't mean to make light of the other things, but the fact that Andy can't simply go and fuck his boyfriend whenever he wants is definitely one of them. It should be, like, financial compensation or something. We're so sorry the school environment is transphobic, here, have a free sex pass. Sounds fair to him. But instead, he still has two hours of classes to go through, and Andy is a better guy than he wishes he was, so he tells Tom to pay attention to class instead of sexting him, because he doesn't want Tom to struggle even more with his course when he had already had to leave it once. God damn true love or whatever.

The point is, by the time classes are finally over, his day is back to not being that great; he's tired, and his leg hurts. He gets to their car after Tom does, and Tom takes one look at him, and says, "I'm driving".

Andy crosses his arms. "Why?"

"Because your leg hurts," Tom answers, rolling his eyes and taking Andy's bag from him and putting it in the trunk.

Andy looks down at his legs. He wasn't limping. There aren't any bruises. How the hell-

"It's cold and you're in shorts. I'm not an idiot, dude."

Right. Yeah. Right. Of course. Tom knows. It's… It's alright.

"Bad day at training?" Tom asks, slowly, sympathetically, and Andy feels himself settle in his skin a little bit.

"The usual," he answers, getting inside, and, as always, Tom gets the hint.

---

Their uni's dorms are gender-segregated because these guys have still not gotten the memo that people of the same gender fuck; and Andy wasn't willing to deal with cis college guys' bullshit, much less cis college girls' bullshit; and the uni wouldn't let him simply pick Tom as his roommate. So, they rented out a beat up apartment right next to it instead. It took a little longer to get there, but it wasn't a lot longer, and well, it was worth it.

Tom gets inside, still carrying Andy's bag because he's transphobic and unfair and had taken it and bolted up running so Andy wouldn't have a chance to argue with him. And Andy can't run after him with his leg hurting, which kind of proves Tom's point that he should carry Andy's bag. All in all, Tom is the worst, and he turns up the heat as soon as he gets inside and sits Andy down on the bed, kneeling in front of him to take a look at Andy's knee.

He's silent for a while, massaging his knee until Andy sighs and throws his head back, before Tom plants a little kiss on his knee and looks up at him. Andy's knee always stops hurting when Tom kisses it better. It's a little embarrassing, if Andy is being honest, but still- nice. Really nice.

They stay for a little longer like this, Tom humming and massaging his knee and Andy not meeting his eyes, until the question inevitably comes.

"What happened?" Tom asks, not letting up with the smooth movements of his hands, his eyes big and sincere with worry.

"Nothing. Just the cold. You know how my knee gets."

"I meant, for you to leave practice without putting some warmer clothes on."

Andy looks away. "It was nothing."

"Dude, are you expecting me to go, 'okay, yeah, that totally makes sense and I believe you', or…?"

Andy laughs, despite himself, and throws his good leg up in an almost-kick to pretend he's retaliating. "Don't be an ass."

"I'm not. Come on, Andy. You know you can tell me."

"It's nothing, it's just- Kyle-"

"Oh boy."

Andy laughs. "Yeah." But then he grows serious, "the thing is, he doesn't mean any harm, you know? I know he's not saying it to hurt me, and so that just means that, like... that it's true."

Tom's hands stop their movements, rubbing soothing circles around his knee instead. "What did he say?"

Andy doesn't look at him. "He asked me why I didn't stay on the women's team. Said that I could have an advantage, cuz Asian people are androgynous anyway, so no one would notice that I was taking hormones."

Tom just stares at him in shock for a moment.

"And I was like, 'dude, I've been on T for three years, I'm pretty sure they would notice the changes'. And he was like, 'yeah, but you still look like a lot of Asian girls with short hair, you could write it off if you wanted', and I just…" He trails off.

Tom waits in silence for a second, seeing if Andy finds his words, before asking, "Is Kyle, like, okay?"

Andy scoffs. "I didn't try and fight him, if that's what you're asking."

"No, I mean, does this dude have a screw loose or something?"

"He's very bad at figuring out what is or isn't offensive, yeah, but it's not like he really cares, he just won't go out of his way to antagonize me."

"No, I just- Andy, even when you were a little kid with huge pigtails, anyone would have to be crazy to see you as a girl."

Andy bites the inside of his lip. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not. It's just wrong, man. It was so obvious that it was wrong. Anyone could tell. There's nothing about you that says 'girl' to anyone who's looking."

Andy sighs, finally risking looking at Tom's eyes. There's overwhelming sincerity there, and Andy instinctively looks away. "I guess. Maybe. I don't know. It just got me thinking... Maybe T didn't change anything. Maybe I look exactly the same, maybe it was just hopeful thinking that had me thinking it would change anything, maybe it's just- pointless to even try-"

"No, no, come on," Tom says, and the interruption is so sudden it makes Andy look at him again, just in time to see Tom shaking his head vigorously. "There's no way you believe that. What about this bad boy over here?" He smiles, reaching out softly to caress Andy's neck. "You have more of an Adam's Apple than me, dude. And we both know you don't need T to be a guy, but thinking it made no difference is just crazy and you know it. What about those dry pecs? These broad shoulders of yours? Your voice, I mean, come on. You even smell different, man. How can it be pointless, if even your scent is different?"

Andy looks to the side again, but he can feel himself smile. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Tom gets up, but stays close, putting his hand on Andy's cheek, slowly, as if testing the waters, before turning him slightly to look at him. "Andy. Kyle is an idiot and a transphobic racist who's too damn lazy to realize how fucked up he is. And you shouldn't have to deal with that, and I'm sorry, and I will set him on fire."

Andy laughs. "You can't keep threatening to set every shitty teammate I have on fire."

"I can, because it keeps making you laugh," Tom says, smiling. Well. Andy can't argue with that. "My point is, you wouldn't listen to a word this dude says if it were about anyone else, so don't listen to him when he talks about you, okay? T or no T, you're no girl, and you don't look like a girl, and regardless of whether or not Kyle's dumb ass noticed it, your transition has been doing you good. Remember when your voice started to crack and get all weird? I've never seen anyone be that happy about it."

Andy laughs. "It was pretty awful."

"No, it was great, 'cause you loved it. Do you want me to pull out the 'before' pictures we took in case this happened? Look at yourself, dude. You fit so much better in your own skin, you know? And like, you've always been gorgeous, but-"

"Come here," Andy interrupts, pulling him down because Tom is standing and Andy is sitting and Andy is already height-challenged. And Tom goes willingly, carefully straddling Andy's lap and meeting him in a kiss. Finally, Andy thinks.

Tom kisses him softly, slowly, one hand resting on the back of Andy's head and the other draped lazily over his shoulder, as he usually does, all gentle and a little hesitant, and Andy is having none of that. So he grabs Tom's hair and deepens the kiss, bringing him closer until their chests are flushed together and he can feel Tom's hips mindlessly making little circles against Andy's belly.

They separate - or well, stop kissing, really, because Tom is still as close to Andy as physically possible, and Andy feels about ready to shoot anyone who tries to push him further away. Tom's a little breathless, and his hips are still making these almost imperceptible movements against Andy, and Andy realizes that he's still grabbing Tom's hair and that he's a little breathless, too.

Tom looks down at him for a second, as if debating something with himself, before saying, "and like, not to be horny during a serious moment, but since we're talking about the effects of T... Andy. Andy. Your clit. Fuck. It's so huge now, and it's got a visible head and you can fuck my face and everything, and I could sing it praises for a week and probably will if you don't stop me right now."

"Hmm, but I like it when you sing me praises," he smiles. "Keep going."

"God, I was hoping you'd say that. Do you have any idea how much I've been thinking about it today? I didn't hear a single word anyone said to me, all I could think about was you fucking my face, pulling my hair, making me worship you and beg to be allowed to suck you off, I wanna serve you like you're my God." Tom's hips start to jerk up, more visibly this time, shameless, and see, this is why Andy's been really, really liking this whole denial thing - Tom has only started to explore his subby side recently, a little ashamed of it to admit it to anyone, even himself. But when he's horny enough, he gets shameless and desperate about what he wants, and god, nothing is more beautiful than Tom when he asks for what he wants. He feels something growing inside of him, not sure if it's warmth or heat, but seeing Tom like that, wanting him, needing him, definitely makes him feel so much better.

"Yeah?" Andy asks, tracing a finger over Tom's shoulder, close to his neck, just to give him goosebumps.

"Fuck yes, I want it so bad, and you deserve it too, Andy… Sir. You're the best Sir I could ask for, I just want… Want you to use me, want you to cum on me, want to kiss you all over and worship you and pleasure you, you're so gorgeous..." He hides his face in Andy's shoulder for a bit, but his hips don't stop moving. He whines, "Andy..."

"Address me properly," Andy snaps, feeling the edges of worry clear from his mind and giving way to that wonderful feeling of clear-mindedness, of power, where nothing matters but his own pleasure. "And maybe I'll give you what you want, if you earn it."

Tom nods, hips full on thrusting now, and Andy snaps again. "Stay still."

And he does, immediately, without question, biting his lip and keeping his eyes shut with effort. Andy can feel his thighs clenching and spasming over his, trying to keep himself from moving, trying to be good. He hums in appreciation, but doesn't praise him for it, not yet.

"I'll get you ready," Andy explains, before reaching to Tom's hair, and starts to undo his bun, as slow as possible, just to watch him squirm. He gets so impatient when Andy undresses him, which is why Andy never misses a chance to drag it out.

He begins by removing Tom's jacket, sliding his hands slowly over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling the firm muscle there, digging his nails just a little bit so he can see Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. When the jacket falls to the floor, Andy begins circling the hem of his shirt, sliding until his hands are back on front, fingers just close enough to Tom's cock for him to feel Tom tense in his hands, so damn sensitive to his touch, so needy. God, he can't get enough of this, but he pretends that he doesn't notice, lets Tom try and keep himself together as Andy's hands slide over his belly, then chest, over the shirt, collarbone, wrapping and resting on Tom's throat just so he feels the threat of it, before Andy finally grabs the back of the shirt's collar and tugs, taking it off. Then he slides his hands back down, making sure to run a finger just over the sensitive spot where his pecs end, then lower, over his ribcage, belly, hips, next to the bruises where Andy had grabbed him the night before, then back to the middle, just over the bulge in his pants, and Tom finally breaks and jerks up slightly, letting out a little moan.

"Sir," he whines, "please, please, I-" Andy continues to circle the head of his cock with his finger, "please!"

"Patience," is all he says, before going back to his painfully light movements, imagining Tom's needy cock twitching under his fingers, imagining the effort Tom makes not to thrust up or keep begging for more, just because Andy told him not to. "You know how much I like playing with your pretty little cock. You said you wanted to serve me, didn't you?"

"Yes- yes, Sir."

He hums, noncommittally, not looking at him. "Good." He teases the tip of his clothed cock some more, enjoying the way his mind zeroes on that, the way he feels like he has all the power and the time in the world. Finally, he pats Tom's thigh once. "Get off, and take off the rest of your clothes. Get the lube and a condom."

Tom gets up, a little shaky, and does as instructed, while Andy reaches down to the drawer under the bed where he keeps his dick's spine and a few of their toys. He gets the spine, then adjusts his packer briefs so he can put it on - best purchase of his life, really, those briefs. So much easier to use than a regular strap-on and it makes the packer sit over his clit just right, making a little suction and pressure. Andy couldn't be happier that he was already wearing them.

Tom gets back with everything he asked right in time for Andy to finish making his dick hard, and goes on to put the condom on and cover Andy's cock in lube with the kind of attention that makes Andy hold his breath. Tom's so careful, yet eager, and adoring, about it. Andy feels like the hottest guy in the world.

Once he gets permission, Tom sits on his cock, slowly, getting adjusted to it - admittedly, Andy went a little overboard when he bought his first cock. Andy waits until Tom is fully seated, littering his neck with little kisses and praise for how well he's taking him, how pretty he looks, until Tom looks fully comfortable and ready to start complaining if Andy doesn't start fucking him in earnest soon. That's when Andy shows him the other item he pulled from the drawer - Tom's favorite collar.

Tom's reaction is instantaneous. He throws his head back, moving over Andy's cock as he lets out a breathless, almost choked moan; the hands he had resting on Andy's shoulders suddenly squeezing full force in his need.

"God, you're such a whore," Andy says, casually, and Tom nods, even as he flushes. The collar is just a simple black one, with a little hoop for the leash, but inside they had it engraved with the words Andy's whore, and it left visible marks that could be seen for a few hours after they took it off. It never failed to drive Tom crazy, so it always drove Andy crazy, too. "Stay still," he warns, and Tom nods, breathing heavily, gripping Andy's shoulder as tight as he can as he stays frozen in place. Andy slowly puts it around his neck, checking with his finger to make sure it's not too tight, and the second he clasps it in place, Tom's whole body relaxes, a content little sigh escaping his lips, his face slack and blissed out. He likes being owned, so much. Andy can't get enough of it. "Good?" he asks, just to make sure it's not too tight.

"Perfect," Tom answers, the words leaving him in a sigh. Andy then ties the leash to the headboard, making sure that they're just far enough from it that he'll be feeling its pull the whole time. Tom lets out a moan. "Thank you, Sir."

Andy smirks. "Now, here's what I want you to do," he says, "you're going to ride me, just like that, and you're not going to come until I tell you to. You're definitely not going to come before I do. If you come close, you'll have to tell me. I want to hear you scream, so make as much noise as you want. Do you understand?"

Tom nods again, almost dizzyingly quick. "Yes, Sir."

"Good, then get to it."

Tom doesn't need to be told twice. He starts riding him, slowly at first, trying to find the perfect angle for Andy - not himself, Andy notices, pleased. Once it's perfect, Andy orders, "faster, slut,” and Tom obeys, as always, working up speed as he tries to keep himself upright, feeling the tug of his leash with every movement, moaning the whole time. “Good boy,” Andy says, and Tom’s responding whine is high pitched, embarrassing, needy. He gets even faster then, starting to babble as he keeps on working, and Andy just stays casually in place, not having to do a single thing while Tom works to give him pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so perfect, did you know that?" Tom asks, quickly sliding down on Andy's cock, making sure he puts all this weight in the end so Andy's cock will press down against his clit just the way he likes, making sure to go as deep as possible, "I've been dreaming of your cock for days, god, Sir, nothing's better than this," he hides his face in Andy's shoulder, speeding up even more, thighs shaking with the effort, and Andy puts a fist in his hair and pulls, watching as Tom throws his head back and lets out a scream, working even faster on Andy's cock. "Sir!," he whines, "oh, thank you, thank you, feels so good, oh my god, please, I'm gonna-"

"No, you won't," Andy interrupts, "I'm not even close to coming yet. Keep working, slut."

"Y-yes, Sir," he whines, going faster, deeper, and Andy makes it harder for him, keeps pulling at his hair to expose his neck, litters kisses and bites on his exposed throat, grabs his thigh and squeezes hard enough to bruise so Tom remembers he's his, his whore, his toy.

"I love it when you get like this," Andy says, doing his best to keep his tone even, even as he's a little breathless from pleasure, from power, "I bet you want to come so bad, don't you? If I'd just give you the word, you'd be making a mess of yourself, coming on my cock right now-"

"Fuck! Yes, yes, Sir, please, I'm so close."

Andy smiles. "No."

Tom whines, so cute, adorable, and Andy is nice enough to leave a little kiss on his shoulder, grounding, calming him down. Before going right back to torturing him, "no, you don't get to come for a long time yet. I want you just like this, on edge, tasting it…" Andy grins. "Tell me how close you are, baby."

"I'm- I'm so close-"

Andy slaps him in the face. "You can do better than that."

"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode, I'm so close, I want it so bad, and you feel so good, God, you have no idea what you do to me, Sir, your cock is so perfect, it hurts, I need it- need to cum on your cock, Sir, please-"

"No."

Tom chokes on a moan, and starts to go even faster. He lets out a little whine, something Andy thinks was supposed to be a word, but doesn't come close.

"See," Andy says, "this is why I won't let you come. Look at you - every time I tell you no, you get so desperate, so obedient - it's what you want, isn't it? You want me to keep telling you no, you want to know your pleasure doesn't matter, that you're just here to serve me."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes-"

"Good, then keep going. And beg all you want- I like telling you no, too."

Tom does. He begs, and he says thank you when Andy denies him, again and again and again. Thank you, Sir, thank you for using me, for putting me in my place, I'm yours, I'm yours. And he keeps on praising Andy, praising his cock, his body, the way he fucks him and uses him, no one else makes me feel like this, no one deserves to be worshipped and served like you, Sir, I want to make you feel good-... Until even the clear-minded state of domspace begins to crumble and Andy feels nothing but pleasure, and confidence, and power, and he cums to the sound of Tom praising him and begging, once, twice, three times, until his head is clear again and everything, even the need to chase his own pleasure, is gone, and he just feels perfect.

"Stop," he orders Tom, who's still babbling more and more incoherently, endless praise and worship, and Andy finds that he worships Tom right back. "I want you to get my cock as deep inside you as you can, and stay still. I'm going to play with your dick for a while, and when I tell you to, you can come. You did well today, baby."

Tom nods, suddenly struggling to use his words. "T-thank you, Sir," he says, already frozen in place, thighs clenching with the effort not to move and also shaking with all the effort he did before.

Andy coos. "Poor baby. You were so good to me today. Let me take care of you."

"You always- always do, Sir," Tom replies, and Andy smiles.

He gives Tom a long, slow handjob, making sure Tom stays still through it, enjoying the way his thighs shake on top of Andy's, the pressure of Tom sitting tight on his cock, the way his arms also shake with effort where they rest around Andy's neck; Tom's pretty, exposed throat all marked up around his collar, his breathless little whines as Andy makes sure to do it just the way he likes it, makes his cock turn red with need; watches Tom bite his lip, because when he has to keep still he becomes so quiet and needy, even as the little whines go through his lips… Until Andy finally says, "come for me, baby," and Tom screams through an orgasm that lasts almost a minute, hanging on to Andy as tightly as he can to keep himself anchored through the pleasure.

And then Andy holds him, and Tom holds him back, and they hold each other.

----

A while later, they've cleaned up Tom's cum so it doesn't get all sticky on Andy's chest, and Andy's finally taken off those damn briefs - they're great for sex, but get pretty tight when you wear them for a long time - and Andy holds Tom against his chest. He's humming, contently, and if anyone had told him at the beginning of the day that he'd be comfortable enough to have someone close to him while he's fully naked, he'd - well, probably assume they meant Tom, but still be skeptical.

"How do you feel?" Tom asks after a little while, finally opening up his eyes and saying hello to the world.

"That's supposed to be my line," Andy laughs.

"I feel great. Perfect. Next time, I wanna do it for longer. A week? Let's try a week. Or two weeks…?"

Andy laughs. "Let's not make too big of a leap yet."

"Fine. A week sounds good. Great. And now that we've established that denial is totally bomb for me, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I'm feeling great, too," Andy admits, playing with a little stray of Tom's hair, swirling it around his finger, "I think I needed that, a little bit. Who'd have thought that having you ride me and praise my cock cures dysphoria."

"Every trans top on every forum I've ever visited."

"Let me have my moment of realization," Andy mumbles, faux-annoyed. Tom just laughs, holding him closer.

"I'm just glad I could help," he says.

"Please tell me you didn't ride my cock just to help."

"Well, no, in case you hadn't noticed, I was horny as fuck. I just tried to, you know. Use that to give you a little push. Since you wanted to. Y'know. Also, it was all true. So..."

"Thanks, love," Andy says, earnestly. "I love you."

"I love you more."

They bicker about it, and Andy's smiling the rest of the day.

#it lives #tom sato #tomoichi sato #andy kang #tom x andy #andy x tom #it lives in the woods #ilitw #it lives beneath #ilb #it lives anthology #smut #i am back on my bullshit ig

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philipkindreddickhead · 3 years

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A while back I lived with someone and having years between then and now I've had some time to reflect on the relationship. We started out as roommates. Shortly after we moved in together they confessed they were interested in me and I, rather stupidly, agreed to be with them. It was ill-advised and very short. In that time we had sex. They came inside of me without asking first. I was not on birth control. They explained very quickly that they did not believe they had semen in their fluid. That it was just like vaginal fluid. That they always came inside their last girlfriend and SHE never got pregnant. They were not diagnosed as infertile. They did not know if their last girlfriend was infertile. I shrugged it off because I didnt know what else to do. Getting mad couldnt make them not come inside me. They thanked me for trusting them so implicitly which made me turn sour. I didnt have a choice but to trust them. They robbed me of that choice. I didnt know better enough to say anything like "hey have you actually been diagnosed with having vaginal fluid instead of seminal fluid?" I could only trust that they knew more about their body than I did.

I broke up with them shortly after although not for the sex. Honestly there were so many reasons why but the catalyst was that they were poly with our other roommate who shared with me that they had led her to believe the two of them would be more exclusive when they moved to my city. That it sucked for her to see the two of us together but that she didnt want us to break up because of her. I wasnt sure was else to do with that information. I hardly wanted to potentially cause problems with BOTH of my roommates over a relationship that was mildly unsatisfying. I didnt tell them the truth about why we broke up. I dont remember what reason I gave. I only didnt want to ruin their relationship by saying "hey x told me she didnt really want to be poly" They didnt stop pestering me for a long time about why we broke up and trying to argue with me about why we should be together.

Later they lived with me while someone else paid their rent. They told me they had no where to go because they realized they werent attracted to their non-binary-femme male bodied partner. I was the only one who said it wasnt fair of their partner to pressure them into sex to validate the femme identity. I paid all their food and all other expenses. I even offered to help them get a job which they refused for a long time because they didnt want to work for a corporation. I was dating someone new and they kept asking me if my boyfriend wanted to fuck them. If he wanted a threesome. Eventually I snapped and asked them why they cared. If they were a lesbian (as they described themselves) why did they want to know so badly if my boyfriend wanted to fuck them. When we broke up they started asking me if I wanted to have casual sex. I said Id have to think about it because I wasnt prepared to say "no" I did like them as a person at the time. (Sometimes I still do) I just wasnt emotionally available. But eventually I just outright told them no because they would. Not. Stop. Asking. Everyday theyd be like "hey have you thought about it yet?"

Eventually I ran out of money and couldnt support them anymore. The lease was almost up too meaning theyd have to start paying their own rent. They had a job at that time, after finally caving and taking the job at my workplace, but they still owed rent to a previous apartment complex. I gave them I think either a month or two months notice that they needed to find somewhere else to live if they couldnt come up with even 1 months rent to prove they could be responsible enough to sign onto the lease with me. They went around calling me a bitch to all their friends telling everyone that they were getting kicked out. I guess its hard to e-beg if you cant paint yourself as a victim.

They came to visit me and this time they had huge cosmetically enhanced breasts. I should say they had breasts before. They always said they were natural but anymore I dont know. They could have been from synthetic hormones. I wouldnt have known better. They explained that all they wanted was to have breasts more natural to their body size. The breasts were bigger than my head despite her not being much bigger than me. It was deeply confusing because we'd often had intelligent discussions about cosmetic surgery being detrimental to women's collective health.

One of our last arguments was over the word queer. They called me an assimilationist because I objected to it. That I didnt "get" queerness. I just remembered being so irritated. This was a person who admitted to me theyd been raised to talk to women, be in relationships with women, sexually persue women. But because they didnt do so until they presented as a woman they argued they must be a "lesbian." Nevermind they were currently fucking a whole cis man. Nevermind they began presenting as female-and therefore persuing women- in high school at a more age appropriate time. But I was less deserving to be in the lgbt community because I didnt "get" queerness according to someone who was born I guess attracted to both sexes, raised with opposite sex attraction being the goal, and constantly talked about how opposite sex attracted they were. (Just for clarity's sake Im not saying Im more bisexual than they are, or doubting their bisexuality. )

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a-room-of-my-own · 4 years

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Hi! Did you see the NewStasteman interview with Judith Butler? The way she framed the whole debate about gender is so depressing, I cannot believe it... And that's without going into the Rowling debate, the more I read about it on Twitter and tumblr and the most depressed I get. How can womanhood be reduced to a feeling anyone can claim?

https://www.newstatesman.com/international/2020/09/judith-butler-culture-wars-jk-rowling-and-living-anti-intellectual-times

I had not seen it so thank you for giving me the opportunity to read it. She’s really manipulative and that’s pretty scary honestly. I picked up a few examples to show you

“I want to first question whether trans-exclusionary feminists are really the same as mainstream feminists. (…) I want to first question whether trans-exclusionary feminists are really the same as mainstream feminists. (…)I think it is actually a fringe movement that is seeking to speak in the name of the mainstream, and that our responsibility is to refuse to let that happen.

It’s “our” responsibility to act on something she cannot prove? It’s quite easy to observe that trans-activists are an active minority within the feminist movement. On the other hand, it’s much harder to prove than most people support modern trans-activism in all its implications. She doesn’t give any source, proof or figures to support her claim but ask people to fight for it, nevertheless. That’s faith, not fact.

If we look closely at the example that you characterise as “mainstream” [the problem of men claiming to be trans to access women’s space] we can see that a domain of fantasy is at work, one which reflects more about the feminist who has such a fear than any actually existing situation in trans life.

Then again, no proof, when many gender critical bloggers have lists of dozens of examples of men using self-ID to access bathrooms, women’s shelters, women’s prisons, some of them sex offenders.

The feminist who holds such a view presumes that the penis does define the person, and that anyone with a penis would identify as a woman for the purposes of entering such changing rooms and posing a threat to the women inside. It assumes that the penis is the threat, or that any person who has a penis who identifies as a woman is engaging in a base, deceitful, and harmful form of disguise. This is a rich fantasy, and one that comes from powerful fears, but it does not describe a social reality.

That’s a lot of words to call women who are afraid of men “hysterical”. #sorority

Trans women are often discriminated against in men’s bathrooms, and their modes of self-identification are ways of describing a lived reality, one that cannot be captured or regulated by the fantasies brought to bear upon them. The fact that such fantasies pass as public argument is itself cause for worry.

Word salad that could be translated like this: our priority shouldn’t be protecting women from men, it should be accommodating men, because #notallmen are predators, so it would be very unfair to them, uwu. Men’s concerns should always be considered while women who are afraid are irrational.

I am not aware that terf is used as a slur.

I’m 99% sure that’s a lie, but okay.

I wonder what name self-declared feminists who wish to exclude trans women from women's spaces would be called? If they do favour exclusion, why not call them exclusionary?

Women who want to have spaces without men should be called exclusionary, because we define women based on their relationship with men and how they include them. Suuuuure.

If they understand themselves as belonging to that strain of radical feminism that opposes gender reassignment, why not call them radical feminists? My only regret is that there was a movement of radical sexual freedom that once travelled under the name of radical feminism, but it has sadly morphed into a campaign to pathologise trans and gender non-conforming peoples.

We’re not the ones telling you can cure a psychological problem with cross-sex hormones and amputations, but we are the one pathologizing trans and GNC people. That’s hi-la-rious.

My sense is that we have to renew the feminist commitment to gender equality and gender freedom in order to affirm the complexity of gendered lives as they are currently being lived.

Meaningless word salad > "women should let men redefine the word woman as they please"

Let us be clear that the debate here [between people who support JKR and others] is not between feminists and trans activists. There are trans-affirmative feminists, and many trans people are also committed feminists. So one clear problem is the framing that acts as if the debate is between feminists and trans people. It is not. One reason to militate against this framing is because trans activism is linked to queer activism and to feminist legacies that remain very alive today.

TLDR: Real feminist can only be trans-supporters.

Feminism has always been committed to the proposition that the social meanings of what it is to be a man or a woman are not yet settled. We tell histories about what it meant to be a woman at a certain time and place, and we track the transformation of those categories over time.

That’s gender for you Judith, not biological sex. Social identities vary, biological sex is a constant. Saying that isn't essentialism.

We depend on gender as a historical category, and that means we do not yet know all the ways it may come to signify, and we are open to new understandings of its social meanings. It would be a disaster for feminism to return either to a strictly biological understanding of gender or to reduce social conduct to a body part or to impose fearful fantasies, their own anxieties, on trans women...

“Women who are afraid of men are irrational” third instalment.

Their abiding and very real sense of gender ought to be recognised socially and publicly as a relatively simple matter of according another human dignity. The trans-exclusionary radical feminist position attacks the dignity of trans people.

Men are whoever they say they are, women are whoever men say they are.

One does not have to be a woman to be a feminist, and we should not confuse the categories. Men who are feminists, non-binary and trans people who are feminists, are part of the movement if they hold to the basic propositions of freedom and equality that are part of any feminist political struggle.

Many feminists consider that men can only be feminist allies, so the debate is clearly not settled.

When laws and social policies represent women, they make tacit decisions about who counts as a woman, and very often make presuppositions about what a woman is. We have seen this in the domain of reproductive rights. So the question I was asking then is: do we need to have a settled idea of women, or of any gender, in order to advance feminist goals?

Does “woman” need to have a *gasp* definition? Judith is saying it doesn’t. You’ll notice that she doesn’t say that anything about “man” not having a stable definition. She believes it’s possible to fight against misogyny while having no stable definition for what a woman is. Laughable.

I put the question that way… to remind us that feminists are committed to thinking about the diverse and historically shifting meanings of gender, and to the ideals of gender freedom. By gender freedom, I do not mean we all get to choose our gender. Rather, we get to make a political claim to live freely and without fear of discrimination and violence against the genders that we are.

Word salad > “we don’t get to choose our gender but we get to choose it I am very smart"

Many people who were assigned “female” at birth never felt at home with that assignment, and those people (including me) tell all of us something important about the constraints of traditional gender norms for many who fall outside its terms.

Many women have internalized misogyny and homophobia, which in turn had a huge impact on their sense of self and self-esteem, but that doesn’t mean they’re not women Judith. And I don’t think any woman who was forcefully married, who had her vulva mutilated for religious reasons, had to wear a veil since she was a toddler, or was sold as a child into prostitution ever “felt at home” with having been born a girl, you absolute unit.

Feminists know that women with ambition are called “monstrous” or that women who are not heterosexual are pathologised. We fight those misrepresentations because they are false and because they reflect more about the misogyny of those who make demeaning caricatures than they do about the complex social diversity of women. Women should not engage in the forms of phobic caricature by which they have been traditionally demeaned. And by “women” I mean all those who identify in that way.

That was going so well until the last sentence

I think we are living in anti-intellectual times, and that this is evident across the political spectrum.

JB, darling, just read your own word salad and get some self-awareness.

The quickness of social media allows for forms of vitriol that do not exactly support thoughtful debate. We need to cherish the longer forms.

Tell that to your supporters Miss I Wasn't Aware TERF Were A Slur.

I am against online abuse of all kinds. I confess to being perplexed by the fact that you point out the abuse levelled against JK Rowling, but you do not cite the abuse against trans people and their allies that happens online and in person.

Kindergarten argument, but sure. Also, yet again, no proof.

I disagree with JK Rowling's view on trans people, but I do not think she should suffer harassment and threats. Let us also remember, though, the threats against trans people in places like Brazil, the harassment of trans people in the streets and on the job in places like Poland and Romania – or indeed right here in the US.

“Threats against JKR are bad BUT have you seen what’s happening in Brazil?”. I’m sorry what? Also, could trans-activist please stop instrumentalizing Brazilian stats, since they reflect the situation of prostituted homosexual transsexuals ?

So if we are going to object to harassment and threats, as we surely should, we should also make sure we have a large picture of where that is happening, who is most profoundly affected, and whether it is tolerated by those who should be opposing it. It won’t do to say that threats against some people are tolerable but against others are intolerable.

NO ONE, literally NO ONE said that threats against trans people were acceptable. In fact, most, if not pretty much all threats, especially physical threats, don’t come from radical feminists, but from men. Basically, what she’s saying is “who cares about threats against JKR, trans people (men) matter more”.

If trans-exclusionary radical feminists understood themselves as sharing a world with trans people, in a common struggle for equality, freedom from violence, and for social recognition, there would be no more trans-exclusionary radical feminists.

♫ Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya ♪

It is a sad day when some feminists promote the anti-gender ideology position of the most reactionary forces in our society.

All radical feminists are right wingers, sure.

Anyway, it's terrible that this kind of article is taken seriously when it could be summed up as "women are irrational and hysterical, men can be women and redefine the word woman if they so wish"...

#Gender critical #Judith Butler #And that's sooo pompous #Way to hide the emptiness of your reasoning ma'am

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