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aphelea · 2 years

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keepers of ink and bone

Ao3

summary: a kotlc great library au, based on the great library series by rachel caine. this follows certain kotlc characters through the plot of ink and bone, but with some kotlc changes. you don't have to have read ink and bone for this to make sense, but it would probably help.

word count: 3986

@gay-otlc

EPHEMERA

Text of a secure Library correspondence from the Artifex Magnus, addressed to Obscurist Magnus Keria Fathdon.

You cannot protect him forever, Keria. Do not let sentiment cloud your judgment.

Text of a response from the Obscurist Magnus.

You may burn these heretical ideas out of him, torture him, whatever you deem necessary. But do not kill him.

I will not lose another son to the Library today.

“May I sit here?”

Tiergan doesn’t bother looking up from his Codex. “No.”

“Great.”

Tiergan’s seat dips slightly, and he sighs. Of course the idiot sat there anyway.

“Are you a postulant?” the intruder asks, tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

Tiergan finally looks up and slams his Codex shut, in an effort to make his annoyance known. The newcomer doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest.

“I am,” Tiergan replies. “And you?”

“Yes. Like most of this train.” Tiergan can’t quite place his accent– maybe German? As the boy mutters something to himself in an unfamiliar language, Tiergan strains to hear it. Yes, definitely German.

“My name is Prentice,” the boy says, this time in English. “Are you excited for training?”

Tiergan shrugs. “Tiergan. And, yes, though mostly nervous.”

Prentice chuckles. “I don’t think there is anyone here who isn’t nervous.” He pauses, and then his gaze catches on something in the corner of their carriage. “Other than him, maybe.” Tiergan follows his gaze to find another boy of about their age, scribbling furiously in his personal journal. Beside him sits a man with a silver band clasped around his wrist, and similar features to the boy – likely a relative of some sort. Tiergan raises an eyebrow. Surely the Library doesn’t allow nepotism as a means to land a placement.

Prentice notices his skepticism and says, “His name is Quinlin Sonden. Apparently, he had a perfect score on his placement exam. The first person in recorded history to do so.” The awe in his voice is evident, and a hint of jealousy rises in Tiergan’s throat. “Well, what did you score?” Tiergan asks, partly out of curiosity and partly out of a morbid need to prove himself better than this stranger.

Prentice’s lips curl up. “Eight hundred.”

Eight hundred.

Tiergan had scored a mere seven hundred and fifty.

Prentice must notice his distress – embarrassing, really, since Tiergan has years of practice hiding his feelings – because he says, “Though they say anything above six hundred is exceptional. And it isn’t as if the tests are perfectly constructed– I would not have scored so high if there had not been so many questions about engineering.”

Tiergan vaguely remembers those questions. He remembers calling on the knowledge of the illegal books in his father’s office to help him; he remembers each book, inked with the names of ancient scientists in their own hands, and his father’s warnings not to write too well on his exam, lest the Scholars come knocking at the Ruewens’ door.

He assumes, however, that Prentice is not a smuggler, and that he learnt his information from perfectly legal sources.

“You like engineering, then?” he asks, and he can practically feel the way Prentice lights up at the question.

“I’m hoping to be a Research Scholar, if I make it,” Prentice says, with a shy smile. “And you?”

Tiergan pauses. What does he want to do? He can’t very well say, ‘keep up my illegal family business with my father and sister.’ “Er,” he says, “I suppose a Scholar as well? A traveling one, maybe.”

“Stormcrow,” another voice cuts in.

Tiergan’s gaze snaps towards its owner – the girl sitting across the aisle from them, her eyes scanning them with boredom. “What?” he asks.

“A Stormcrow,” she repeats. “That’s what they call traveling scholars. Because wherever they go, death seems to follow them.” She casts Tiergan an appraising look and snorts. “You don’t really seem cut out for that.”

Then she stands and walks away, tossing her long braids over her shoulder with a sharp finality.

Prentice gapes. “Did you do something to offend her?”

Tiergan sighs, and thinks the interaction over. “Not me, specifically,” he replies, realization dawning. “But that girl was definitely Welsh.”

Prentice stares at him blankly.

“She’s Welsh,” Tiergan repeats, “and I’m English.”

Prentice furrows his eyebrows.

Tiergan sighs. “There’s a war,” he explains, “between our countries.”

Prentice nods. “Ah. We don’t see much news from your part of the world, at home.”

Tiergan supposes he can’t really blame him. After all, it isn’t like Tiergan knows anything about German politics.

Not that it would matter if he did. The moment they step foot in Alexandria, the Library says, they lose all nationality, all loyalties beyond the city limits. Once you are a postulant, knowledge is your first priority.

Until you inevitably fail, of course. There are at least thirty people here, and Tiergan is certain there can’t be more than ten spots.

Twenty people have to go, at least. And Tiergan’s not so sure he won’t be one of them.

A Scholar waits to greet them at the Alexandria station – though perhaps ‘greet’ isn’t the right word for it. He stands on the platform, scowling at each of them individually as they exit the train.

Tiergan accepts it. He’s used to Scholars and High Garda chasing him down with fury, so this man only being slightly unpleasant is like a gift.

Prentice shudders beside Tiergan. “I see why people call them crows, now.”

Tiergan sees it, too: the man’s black robes, and piercing gaze, and the short, dark hair cut close to his head. He can imagine the hair as feathers, almost.

The man clears his throat, and Tiergan instinctively straightens.

“My name is Scholar Fathdon. I’ve been assigned as your teacher, and I intend to do my job well,” he says, in smooth Greek. “I have six positions to fill by the end of this program. There are thirty of you here. I would hope that you are smart enough to infer what happens in between.”

A low murmuring begins within the students, but one sharp glance from the Scholar cuts it off.

“Ptolemy House will be your residence for the duration of your stay in Alexandria. You will drop your things there now, and the Captain will pick you up at exactly five o’clock. Do not be late.”

Nobody bothers to ask who ‘the Captain’ is. Questioning the Scholar seems like a surefire way to failure, so they wait for their dismissal and file out in silence, making their way to their residence.

Ptolemy House turns out to be rather luxurious, as far as dormitories go, with a lush common room and dining area. The bedrooms are quite simple, however – two beds and two dressers, and an attached bathroom. As Tiergan sets his belongings on one of the beds, he wonders what his roommate is like – smart? Rich? Disgusting?

The boy that comes out of the bathroom is most certainly rich, although the jury is still out on the other two. He scowls when he notices Tiergan’s presence, and smooths back his neatly combed hair.

“I’m not supposed to have a roommate,” the boy says in Greek. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Well, you have one now, so deal with it,” Tiergan replies. “My name is on the door. Cry about it.”

“You can’t speak to me like that,” the boy says, stepping forward. “Don’t you know who I am?”

Tiergan snorts. “I know you’re an ass.”

“I’m Alden Vacker!” the boy says, seeming genuinely offended.

Tiergan vaguely recognizes the surname – a rich and powerful family around these parts, with deep ties to both the Library and the government of Spain. It doesn’t seem like this boy is a prince, so he’s likely just a spoiled brat with no duties to waste his money on.

“And I’m Tiergan,” he replies. “Now shut up so we can go downstairs.”

Downstairs, as the Scholar had said, waits the Captain, who is in fact hard to miss. His hair, for one, is much longer than Tiergan would ever have expected from High Garda, held back by a loose blond braid that falls to his waist. He scans each of them with mild annoyance as he says, “Follow me. If you get lost, I’m not coming back to find you.” With that, he turns and exits, and the Postulants follow suit.

He leads them to a vast hall, empty except for Scholar Fathdon standing within it. “Thank you,” he says, as the Captain closes the grand doors. Then, he turns to his students. “Now. Are you ready for your first lesson?”

Greek fire.

The Scholar had placed Greek fire in his room full of students.

Tiergan isn’t sure what to think, really. Fathdon had praised him for noticing the vial first, but Tiergan had been in too much shock to really process it at the time.

Everyone is still reeling, that night. Tiergan hears whispers, about the three students told to leave that day, who had drawn an unlucky tile from the pot. Some are whispering about Fathdon’s “clear intention to kill them,” which Prentice snorts at.

“He isn’t a murderer,” Prentice says, when Tiergan raises a curious eyebrow. “He was likely teaching us to be aware of our surroundings. When you focus too much on one screw, the entire machine collapses.”

“Not everything needs to be an engineering metaphor, Endal,” Alden cuts in. “It doesn’t make you seem any smarter.”

Quinlin shrugs from across the table. “I don’t know, I think they’re quite clever.”

Nothing has ever given Tiergan more joy than the torn expression contorting itself on Alden’s face. “Yes, of course”—the words seem like acid on his tongue as he forces them out—“Of course you’re right, Quinlin. I only meant–”

“–You meant to insult him,” Quinlin interrupts with a raised eyebrow. “As you’ve been insulting everyone at this table tonight.”

“Not you,” Alden replies.

Quinlin’s lips quirk into a smile, but he says nothing in response.

Beside Tiergan, someone snorts. “This is ridiculous,” she says, and Tiergan realizes it’s the girl from the train – Livvy, he recalls from that morning.

“I know,” Tiergan replies. “He’s even worse as a roommate.”

“Alden?” Livvy asks. “I can imagine that.” She turns back to her food, effectively ending the conversation.

Tiergan turns back to Prentice, who leans in closer. “What do you think Fathdon will have us do tomorrow?” he asks, voice low.

Tiergan shrugs. “Another lesson, probably. A less lethal one.”

Prentice laughs. “We can only hope.”

As it turns out, they may have hoped too well, as the next week is entirely boring classroom lessons on what is, in Tiergan’s opinion, irrelevant information. The names of every single Archivist and Artifex Magnus? The exact text of the Treaty of 1436? Absolutely useless.

He doesn’t voice his concerns, however. He’s not that stupid.

And with twelve people gone already, he’s fairly certain that he’s only hanging on by a thread.

It’s not like he doesn’t know his Library history – he’s probably the best in his class, save for Quinlin and maybe Alden. But Fathdon still casts them all with an equally critical gaze, as if he’s waiting for the day when he can send each of them home as failures.

But he can’t do that, obviously: there are six positions to be filled. And there are eighteen Postulants left.

…Until the nineteenth arrives.

Tiergan meets her by complete accident. In an attempt to escape his dreadful roommate, he stumbles into the dining hall at five in the morning, deciding that he may as well get some breakfast before today’s High Garda training.

And there he sees her. The stranger.

She’s wearing a long, heavy dress, the kind that Tiergan’s mother wears back home. She’s dressed much too warmly for the Alexandrian heat, and her once-white sleeves are caked with mud, evidence of what must have been a long journey.

“Who are you?” he asks in English, just to test his hypothesis.

The girl looks up. “I’m here for postulant training,” she replies. “You’re English?”

“From London,” Tiergan says. “And postulant training started a week ago – you’ll have to talk to Fathdon, but I’m not sure he’ll be quite forgiving–”

“–He knows,” the girl cuts in. “I’m from Oxford. It’s rather hard to catch a train here in the middle of a warzone.”

“Ah.” He moves to take the seat beside her, and grabs an apple from the fruit basket. “I’m Tiergan, by the way.”

“Della,” the girl responds with a smile. “Pleasure to meet you.” Her eyes are a brilliant blue, and her gaze feels like she’s taking him apart and examining his insides.

Something is strange about this girl, he thinks. But then, there’s something strange about everyone here.

Even him. The smuggler’s son.

“So,” she asks, “what’s the Scholar like? I assume not very pleasant, from your description.”

Tiergan pauses. “He’s strict,” he finally says, considering his words carefully. “But he isn’t unreasonable, I don’t think. As long as you know what you’re doing. Which I hope you do.”

Della laughs. “I hope so, too.”

At that, the other postulants begin streaming in, desperate for lunch before training. Today, they’ve been told, is High Garda training, physically intensive in a way that suits none of them except Livvy.

“Who is this?” Prentice asks, in Alexandrian Greek.

“Della,” Tiergan replies. “A new postulant.”

“Nice to meet you all,” she says, and quickly gets dragged into conversation with Livvy.

Tiergan is about to join in when the grand doors to the hall open once more, and Scholar Fathdon stands in the entrance, the Captain looming behind him.

Everyone freezes, forks in mid-air.

“Keep eating,” Fathdon says. “You’ll need it for today.”

“For High Garda training, sir?” Quinlin asks, the only one comfortable enough to do so.

“No. There’s been a change in plans,” the Scholar replies. “You’ll be splitting off into groups and conducting raids.”

Raids.

Tiergan’s far, far too familiar with those. No Scholar has ever come to the Ruewen household, but he knows of others in the trade that have fallen victim to them. He’d never expected to be the one on the other side of them, but here he is.

A Library rat.

“Ruewen, Sonden, Anwen, and Beckett will be with me,” Fathdon says. “Everyone else will receive their assignments from Captain Pyren. Be ready in fifteen minutes.”

Fifteen minutes later, Tiergan is certainly not ready. But he sits in the carriage with Quinlin, Anwen, and Beckett, anyway, dreading what’s to come.

They make the journey in silence, and Tiergan realizes that none of them have actually been told what to do.

As they exit the carriage at their destination, Tiergan asks the Captain, “What exactly are we supposed to be doing here?”

Captain Pyren looks down at him, and for a moment, Tiergan swears he can see fire in the man’s eyes. “Do what you’re told,” he says. “Bronte knows what he’s doing.”

Bronte? Tiergan is about to ask, but then he realizes. Bronte Fathdon must be the Scholar’s full name.

He wonders how close the Captain and the Scholar are for them to be on first-name basis. Good friends, maybe.

Not that it matters, of course.

As they make their way to the door, Tiergan realizes with a jolt that he recognizes this home. He’d stolen from this place maybe… four days before?

A mission from his father. Sneaking out in the dead of night, slipping inside a fellow smuggler’s house and stealing a precious work by Archimedes. Delivering the book to an alleyway, where, strangely, his sister had been waiting.

“Juline,” he’d said, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Father’s orders,” she’d replied, a smirk dancing on her lips. “Glad to see you’ve not lost your touch in your days with the enemy.”

And then she’d disappeared.

But now, Tiergan is standing at the door of someone he knows is a smuggler, and not for any legal reasons himself.

He wonders, briefly, if this is a trick, if Fathdon somehow knows who he is and has brought him here to arrest him.

He dismisses the idea. If Fathdon wanted to arrest him, he would have done it in the morning, in front of the entire class. Here, now, it would be an unnecessary waste of resources.

The door opens, and a maid steps out. “Scholar?” she asks. “Is something the matter?”

Scholar Fathdon holds up something. A scroll. “We’re here on account of the illegal books inside your master’s home.”

The maid seems fearful, but not quite surprised. “I…”

“Fetch the master of this household, please,” Scholar Fathdon says, and Tiergan is struck by how harsh his voice is.

Perhaps he was going easy on his postulants.

Five minutes later, as both the smuggler and his wife plead their innocence, Fathdon sends them each to search for the illegal originals.

Tiergan knows where to look. He’d stolen some only last week.

He tries to prolong his searching, but there’s only so much time he can waste before Fathdon calls him out on it.

When the secret room opens, full of illegal original copies, Captain Pyren casts him an impressed look. “That was quick,” he says, and Tiergan’s not sure what to think about that.

He looks away quickly, as Fathdon says, “Postulants. Tag these books for removal.” He hands Tiergan a set of tags – humming with Obscurist magic – and moves to speak with Captain Pyren.

Quinlin, Anwen, and Beckett crowd around the originals with him, each taking their five tags.

Tiergan tries his best to recall the method Scholar Fathdon had taught them for tagging books. This isn’t particularly high-stakes; he’s sure that the Library has records of these somewhere in the Archives. But it’s obvious that this is a test, and he can feel Fathdon’s gaze burning into the back of his head.

So he takes twenty tags, and sends every single book at once.

He’s confused, at first, as to why Quinlin is gaping at him. Then the headache hits him, and he remembers Fathdon’s other warning– tags, being Obscurist magic, drain energy out of the average person. Never do more than five at a time.

Well, he’s still alive after twenty, so that must count for something.

Ten minutes later, he’s leaning against the wall outside, and sipping water from a glass Quinlin had offered him.

“Are you alright?” Quinlin asks him. “I’ve never heard of someone transporting twenty at a time.”

“I’m fine,” Tiergan replies, “just a headache. I definitely did more in training, but I did them one at a time then.” He pauses. “I didn’t realize doing them at once would be worse.”

Quinlin raises his eyebrows. “Really? I could barely manage three.” He laughs lightly. “I suppose we all have interesting talents.”

Tiergan chuckles dryly and looks away. “I suppose.”

The question is, will the Scholar see it as enough of a talent to ignore Tiergan’s history? Would employing a smuggler’s son be worth it if he’s good enough at his job?

Tiergan’s not sure whether to be impressed by himself or terrified of the Scholar’s reaction.

It turns out to be the latter.

He’s waiting for a carriage back to Ptolemy House when Fathdon calls him aside. Anwen casts him a pitying look, and Quinlin furrows his eyebrows at him – Tiergan knows what he’s thinking. How could you have failed? Tiergan had done everything right, in his classmates’ eyes.

But he knows.

He’d known what only a smuggler could have known; he’d moved about the house with the familiarity of only a thief. He curses himself for slipping up, but there really was nothing he could have done.

As it turns out, Fathdon isn’t calling him over for that.

“Get in,” he says, pointing to another carriage.

“Sir?” he asks. “Is this a test?”

Fathdon raises an eyebrow. “Of course it is.”

Captain Pyren, for some reason, joins them on their trip, which only furthers Tiergan’s hypothesis of the Captain and the Scholar being good friends outside of work. He supposes that would be nice, having a friend like Prentice around everyday at work.

He quite likes Prentice.

They arrive at the building where they had met the very first day, where Fathdon had nearly dropped Greek fire on all of them. Tiergan has no fond memories of this room.

Fathdon enters without hesitation, but Tiergan lingers at the doorway.

Captain Pyren grins, and Tiergan swears that flames dance across his eyes. “Go on, boy,” he says. “He doesn’t bite. I do, though. It’s a benefit of the job.”

Tiergan isn’t sure what to say to that. So he enters.

Scholar Fathdon stands in the middle of the room, holding a thick, golden rope in his hands. “Ruewen. Do you know what these are?”

This has to be a joke. “They’re… restraints, sir. For criminals.”

“Specifically,” Fathdon adds, “for the criminals who run.”

Tiergan’s heart stops.

“Captain,” Fathdon calls, and Captain Pyren strolls over. Tiergan’s just about resigned to his fate as the Scholar hands Pyren the restraints – until the Captain slips his own hands through the holes in the rope.

Tiergan looks at Fathdon, who gestures to his wrist. “Touch your identification band to the restraints.”

Tiergan complies. As he does so, the restraints snap shut with a force that makes even the Captain wince.

The effort makes Tiergan slightly woozy, but he forces himself to stand straight.

“Well?” Fathdon asks. At Tiergan’s silent confusion, he prompts, “Did you feel anything?”

“No,” he lies.

Fathdon raises an eyebrow. “Nothing at all? Not even a little pinch?”

Tiergan winces. “I do feel a little dizzy,” he admits, and the Scholar nods.

“Interesting,” he says.

Captain Pyren scoffs. “Not the word I’d use for it,” he says. “This isn’t how I’d planned to spend my day, Bronte.”

The Scholar rolls his eyes. “Thank you for your assistance, Captain Pyren.” Tiergan’s sure his eyes are bugging out of his head – he’s never seen the Scholar so… warm? Friendly?

He vows to tell Prentice about this later.

“Now,” Scholar Fathdon continues, “Are you ready for a run?”

Captain Pyren glares at him, though not unkindly. “Someday, I’m going to make you trade spots with me. You could do with a run.”

Scholar Fathdon’s lips quirk into what Tiergan assumes is a suppressed smile. “Well, that day isn’t today. Now, go, Fintan.”

Captain Pyren turns and jogs out the door, into the Alexandrian streets.

“Where is he going?” Tiergan asks.

“No idea,” Scholar Fathdon replies. “But you’re going to find him.”

Tiergan stares at him. “How, exactly?”

“Take out your Codex.” Tiergan complies. “Press your band to the page.”

When Tiergan does so, a detailed map of the streets surrounding appears on the page, with a moving dot that he assumes indicates Pyren.

The effort drains him of any energy he had left, and as he stares at the page, a sharp pain slices through his head. He closes his eyes, but when he opens them again to see the page, his headache returns with a sharp ferocity.

“How is the pain?” Scholar Fathdon asks.

Tiergan grits his teeth. “Fine. Is this all you need?”

“No,” the Scholar says. “I want you to find him.” Then he turns and walks away.

Tiergan sighs and makes his way down the hallway and into the streets of Alexandria. He opens his map once more, attempting to ignore the spots in his vision.

He knows how to do this. He’s been doing this his whole life.

So he takes one more look at his Codex, and runs.

He weaves through the streets of Alexandria, imagining that he’s back in London, running books for his father. His headache increases each time he looks at his Codex, but he ignores it.

And when he finally barrels into Captain Pyren, his relief is enough to keep him awake for one final, satisfied grin, before his vision turns black and he collapses into the Captain’s arms.

Sorry, Captain. Please don’t fail me.

#fair warning this wasn't really edited #also i hope you all get a kick out of which character gets assigned to which role. i guess i think i'm funny (i am)#i realize this fic goes out to a very niche audience of like. four? five?#august's writing!#kotlc #also yes i am spreading my jess/thomas agenda what about it #i may or may not write more. we will see

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doublel27 · 2 years

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Do you think Tk shouldn’t of said ‘you don’t want those pieces’ and instead maybe should’ve asked Carlos if he actually did, rather than make that decision for him? I know Tk said that because he knows deep down that Carlos really doesn’t want to be privy to his horrible scary thoughts so Tk is protecting him and Carlos’ jealously is more about his own insecurities and he allowed it to fester and become a problem instead of just communicating with Tk since it’s apparent that Carlos has been feeling jealous about Cooper for a while.

Hey nonny, Honestly, I don't think TK should have said anything else. Carlos struggles with having solid boundaries with TK (and with like, everyone he's ever met). Carlos will put himself last on the list if he even puts himself on it at all. And I am certain (and I am certain if TK knows this) that if asked, Carlos would repeatedly want to take on TK's darkest emotions and scariest thoughts and not make a safe space for himself. People are really concerned about Carlos always centering TK's emotions and TK held a boundary here to keep Carlos from doing that too much, and from TK then having to hold any of the guilt that Carlos will feel when TK doesn't feel well or better. And it's not like Carlos just does this with TK, where he puts his own feelings and needs aside for what he thinks other people need. Carlos hid himself from his parents for years, to the point where they have been continually surprised by his pronouncements. Carlos likes to be perfect for people and who they need him to be rather than focusing on himself. It's part of why his insecurity runs rampant in this episode, because he's worried Cooper is better at being there for TK than he is. But what Carlos doesn't see is that they serve entirely different functions. Carlos is also terrible at communicating his feelings. He never actually says he's jealous. It takes TK really centering Carlos and his feelings for it all to come out because TK pushes the issue through Carlos's passive aggressive dinner for one. And like, Carlos still struggles to own what's happening. And I love that consistency of character for Carlos, because we as an audience have learned to read him, and TK has learned to read him, but he hides so much. We saw such growth in Carlos as a character to accept TK setting boundaries for both of them, and leaning into the idea that he can still be supportive and hold all of TK without carefully examining the worst parts of TK, and letting a mental health support person take that on. Sometimes the best way to love someone is to let them help themselves, and be there to make sure they're able to do it, rather than trying to . That's what Carlos learned this episode, and it's a lesson that's going to be so much healthier for Carlos in the long run.

What Carlos really needs is a support group of partners and families of addicts. Carlos should be going to Nar-anon or Al-anon or a similar group that allows him to process the very real feelings of fear and isolation that come from watching a partner go through a life-threatening struggle that you cannot fix. Because those are real and important feelings that deserve to be honored and worked through, but putting them all on your partner isn’t healthy either, especially when it’s not their fault.

#911 lone star 3x13 #911 lone star #carlos reyes #tk strand #tarlos #doublel27 talks #anon ask #anon reply #asked and answered

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ehbunnehsblog · 2 years

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Turning Red and Takes Online

So I have already made a post about this movie but there was another thing I wanted to talk about but I wasn't sure how to word it or if I even wanted to talk about it being worried I would be deemed certain things but after thinking about it I just need to talk about this.

A while ago someone on twitter (of course that shit app) called the movie "unapologetically horny" which is the WORST way to describe this movie. Whether the person couldn't come up with any words or not people took that one stupid comment and turned it into this big thing.

I got suggested this YouTube video that talked about this incident but I was far more curious about the comments since I was hoping to find people who thought this persons tweet was disgusting and ridiculous and I did but i also came across another group of people that were making the possible premise of this movie into a big deal that being about periods. Keep in mind that the movie isn't even out yet and although it is clearly talking about hormones and regular teen topics we don't know if this movie will have the period talk.

And well apparently to some people online characters having their periods in movies are sexualizing minors. Yeah. Now you see why I didn't know if I wanted to talk about this.

I don't know how people dont know this but ummm, periods aren't sexual? They are a natural thing and yes girls get them and if you think that periods are sexual than I guess we better get rid of pad/tampon commercials because "ooo spooky its sExUal" lol! It's not sexual. And it's not bad to have a movie that talks about these things either and I think it is good representation for young girls and of course no one is forced to watch the film but I find it gross how adults are sexualizing something girls and women have.

I find it odd how these people are the ones saying the movie and Pixar are sexualizing minors but they are the ones bringing up how periods are sexual when again it's not. Now I am not saying there aren't people in Hollywood that aren't creeps because there are and we all know that but I feel like this film isn't sexual at all and is trying to relate to women and young girls and I think people comparing this movie to Cuties or anything of the sort is stretching it too far.

And this whole "ew periods are sexual" feels kind of misogynistic and its shaming girls for having something that's natural. And yeah this movie isn't gonna be for everyone and that's okay because not every movie has to target a certain demographic like for me I personally am not super into movies that are targeted to boys and men. That doesn't mean the movie is bad or anything, I am just not the target demographic.

I know that movies and shows targetted for girls can be bad just like media targeting males but sometimes I feel like it gets too much hate because it doesn't target the male demographic and its girly. Fun fact: did you know that Tangled was originally going to be called Rapunzel but changed it so it was more gender neutral so boys would go and watch it?

And now a movie that might talk about female subjects and more female oriented is getting unwarranted hate. Again it just sounds misogynistic. And what sucks is that I know these comments are gonna get a lot of love because these people will hide their misogyny underneath the idea of caring about kids and young girls even though what they are doing is repressing and shaming young girls for a thing they cannot control.

I am also tired of people screaming that this film is "too woke" and "too sjw" even though it's a film about a young girl going through things a young girl goes through and again it sounds misogynistic.

I feel like people have been seeing so much bad representation in movies and shows to where now they will see something with good representation or possible good representation and will just discard it and throw it in the trash because they assume that any show or movie with representation will be bad. I actually saw this with Encanto where someone complained it was forcing representation even though it wasn't and all of the characters were written well.

I really hope that when this film comes out people might see it differently and change their minds, I really feel like the hate and some of the criticism towards this film is unwarranted and I think it deserves a chance before people judge it. I also really wanted to call out the misogyny I was seeing around this movie as well. As a woman who enjoys female media I feel like it gets unfair treatment at times because it's not always as deep as male media but I think it's pretty good and can be empowering and I think that is something that is very important and shouldn't be overlooked. Anyways thank you for reading and I will see you next time! ❤︎

#turning red #turning red rant #rant post #can we not?#i want to point out that i am not woke or anything i just feel this should be called out #this will probably be the last post about this movie #this film is getting some unwarranted hate and its awful #opinion

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nexyra · 3 years

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RWBY Analysis - Ozpin & Ruby, on the concept of leadership

In her song "Burned out", Dodie sings of her fans, how they look up to her and how uneasy that realization made her. For everyone is at the end of the day just as human as their neighbour; and having the hopes and expectations of others put upon you when you're just as lost as them can be a frightening thing. And this... made me think of Ruby & Ozpin.

On the subject of leadership, Ozpin tells Ruby the following : “Being a team leader isn't just a title you carry into battle, but a badge you wear constantly. If you are not always performing at your absolute best, then what reason do you give others to follow you?”

While I love this quote, I also have to analyze the drawbacks of this mentality and how they align with both Ozpin and Ruby. At the time, Ruby is a newly appointed leader and unsure of this reality. Ozpin's counsel give her the confidence needed to step up as a leader and take her duties more seriously, which in return appeases Weiss' and make their team all the more balanced. It is, in that context, good advice. A good leader should strive to lead by example and work hard to be worthy of the respect others give them, both in and outside of battle.

However there is one aspect that I find much more complex and that is... what does it mean to "always perform at your absolute best" and to have others follow you ? Note the use of follow, people letting you lead alone as opposed to "standing by your side" or a similar expression. It showcases in my opinion one of the biggest problem of Ozpin's leadership, but one that I feel has been inadvertently repeated by Ruby's.

- - - - - - - -

To cultivate hope and lies

When it comes to Ozpin's lies, I am of the firm belief that he had good intentions. Soo if you think he's the scorn of this earth, this might be a good time to tap out :D Now, this said I have a lot to say on the subject but I'll keep this short to stay on track (& make another unrelated post to develop my thoughts.)

In my opinion, at the core of his lies stand different beliefs. And on the subject of leadership, I think one stands out in particular and aligns with the advice he gave Ruby : the need to perform at your best to give others a reason to follow you.

Ozpin is the reincarnation of a centuries-old wizard and the headmaster of a school : what is one aspect almost every character agrees on upon meeting him ? "Oh, he's wise. He's knowledgeable. He has the answers. He has his shit together. He can tell us what to do."

Inherently, Ozpin's existence inspires respect and reassure. Just like to a child, a parent is all-knowing and unbreakable, Ozpin's status automatically give others the assumption that he knows what he's doing. And this, in my opinion, is one of the core problems of his leadership.

May it be with his inner circle, with RWBY, with ANYONE really; as soon as Ozpin reveals himself there are unspoken expectations that will chain him. He has the knowledge, he was here when it all began, he's the one calling the shots so he HAS to know exactly what to do. In that situation, breaking down and revealing to everyone how lost Ozpin is, how out of his depth... is unconceivable. And this is where Ozpin's conception of leadership becomes a problem as well. If you always perform "at your best" then you keep your doubts to yourself, you hide your sorrows and you put on a brave face. There are expectations in place that Ozpin wants (needs even) to meet. And thus the hopes of others and Ozpin's desire to fulfill them feed one another, as a perfect recipe for disaster. Because the more time Ozpin spends acting as if everything is under control, the more the expectations pile up... And coming clean about his humanity, the fact that he's just as powerless as the rest of them, becomes impossible.

And in that sense, breaking down the pedestal Ozpin had been put on was probably one of the best thing to do for his own mental health (though the method lacked a bit of compassion in my opinion xD)

The other part that somehow causes problem is how RELIANT on him his inner circle is. Despite their apparent friendship, Ozpin is the clear leader and as soon as he's out of comission, everything falls apart. Ironwood is the only one to call out Oz but in the end still wishes for the wizard to tell him what to do in period of stress. Qrow plays spy and takes order but doesn't seem really interested in stading at Ozpin's side as an equal. Glynda is stern but still defers to him etc...

All of them FOLLOW Ozpin but are just a few steps off from standing at his side. And this is something I see reflected in Ruby.

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Following optimism up until it fails you

In Vol6, as secrets and lies are brought to the light, the loss of Hope that Ozpin feared so deeply happens. Is it worth it ? What are we even going to do with an immortal foe ? Maybe we should just go home. In that situation, Ruby is the simple soul who manages to keep her optimism, stand tall and say "No. We are taking the lamp to Atlas." And from then on her position as a leader and a bacon of light is reaffirmed. As Jaune put it in V4 "You gave us the courage to follow you."

Now is that, in itself, a problem ? Of course not. In fact I loved seeing Ruby come into herself and take the lead in Vol6. The problem in truth comes after, from the ramifications. From Vol6 onward, Ozpin has essentially been rid of his leader position and Ruby inherited it. And on a surface level sure, they are pretty different. Ruby is certainly closer to her partners : they're a family and they care about each other.

However, she is still clearly put at the lead. The others relied on Ruby's optimism and resilience to get to Atlas, and continue to do so. Setting foot in Ironwood's office, Blake tells Ruby "We'll follow your lead". They trust her, and whatever Ruby does... goes. They lie to Ironwood and Yang expresses some hesitations but eventually rally to Ruby's decision. And I emphasize this again : it is Ruby's decision. They did not pre-emptively discuss this as a group and then let Ruby be the spoke-person. Yang herself in Vol8 criticizes not their actions but Ruby's choices. Ruby calls the shots, Ruby is responsible for what happens, Ruby is their beacon of hope... Ruby is the new Ozpin.

Ruby has to be optimistic, and make the decisions and take risks because she's the leader. When Ruby leaves the room to break down, conversation & strategy stalls : the others don't take the lead. When things go south, it's Ruby's choices that led them here. Ever since Ruby has left Beacon, the only person who consistently encouraged Ruby to express the BAD, to share the negative has been Oscar. Even her silver eyes ask her to focus on only the happy memories to go off without a hitch ! The others comfort, they smile, they trust, they love even. But they don't want depressed Ruby finally grieving, they don't want honest "I don't know what to do" : they try to bring back confident and optimistic "we're gonna try" Ruby Rose. They want their earnest and happy but ultimately perfect leader that gives them reason to follow. In the end, even if they deeply care for her and have no shortage of warm coated reassurances for the teen, they still chain her down with their expectations. Ruby is NOT built for this. And I don't even say that in the "why is a kid calling the shots" sense, but "why is a kid put in a position where she's RESPONSIBLE for calling the shots ?"

Ruby is the youngest of the group apart from Oscar. The others should not rely on her this much to function. Blake telling Ruby that she looks up to her and that they'll follow her lead is admittedly sweet, but still builds up the pressure weighing her down. Blake calling out for Ruby's help when the teen has just been crashed to the ground by the Hound isn't even sweet anymore. They're all supposed to be equals. Blake is just as capable as Ruby. Calling out to your mind-controlled friend to bring them back from the edge is good. Calling out to your 17-old sister who's been beaten up because you need her to fight isn't.

They need to recognize that Ruby should not hold up the place alone. Because yes, they love her. But at the end of the day, Ruby is still the one bearing the weight of their decisions... Alone, even surrounded.

✦ ✦ BURNED OUT - DODIE ✦ ✦

He was certain; So was I There was comfort in her sighs

Dreams and ideas should not be the same thing You waited, smiling for this?

Oh, she'd want it, if she knew She could take it, I thought too Be careful, be cautious but you just wished harder You waited, smiling for this?

"But they love you!" Over and over, "they love you!" Thousands and thousands of eyes just like mine Aching to find who they are

"Oh, they love you!" Oh, you can feel how they love you ! Coated and warm but that's all they can do Words only get through if they're sharp

Oh, how fitting For one so fake Make me a fairy Whatever it takes

And just like a tale my dream was a scam You waited, smiling for this?

I am burnt out I smell of smoke It seeps through her cracks and so I start to choke Sentences sit in her mouth that are templated You waited, smiling for this?

Oh, maybe I'll talk about it... (maybe I'll talk about it) I can just talk about it... (I can just talk about it) I'll never talk about it... (I'll never talk about it) No, I cannot talk about it...

Don't build hope on something broken I am not cartoon. Cry for help, I am not joking I might just leave soon

#rwby #rwby analysis #rwby thoughts #character song #professor ozpin #ozpin #ruby rose #lyrics collage #rwde #does this count as rwde?#feel free to disagree in the reactions/reblogs I read everything !

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basketballandtextbooks · 4 years

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Speaking of analyses, what's your interpretation of Kenny? (I feel like he's the one character that really doesn't get talked about in the same manner as other characters. Sure, he gets praised often for being a good boi and there's discussions/theories of his curse, his homelife, sex... But as far as him as a WHOLE, as a person, I don't tend to see that a lot. I think that's why his fanon interpretations feel like a disconnection: He's quiet, his hood being down doesn't mean he'll "talk more")

To even begin delving into all of the aspects of Kenny’s personality, we’ll first have to divide up subsections to how he behaves in certain circumstances, ascertain his motives for doing so, and then finally combine all of that information into a cohesive assessment of his thoughts, feelings, and agendas. And as a bonus, I’d like to discuss how these traits would most likely change and develop over time. All that said, I just really like his character so instead of doing all that fancy essay work, I’m just going to babble about him. We’ll start with what is both the most and least important aspect to Kenny; his relationship with death.

Death has haunted Kenny for his entire life so far as we, the viewers, are able to tell. The current in-series explanation for his ceaseless bouts of death involves his parents in a cthulhu cult before he was even born. The details here are vague, but the implication that leaves us with is that this is a lifelong affliction. Flashbacks as early as preschool support this theory as we’ve seen Kenny die in a firecracker accident back then. Kenny’s feelings towards death are made clear in several lines and yet more nonverbal cues. He’s scared of death. It’s painful and he hates it. Even knowing he’ll come back, or at least assuming he’ll come back, that doesn’t stop him from screaming, running, crying out, hiding, and outright declaring how painful and unpleasant he finds death. This at least tells us one thing about Kenny’s personality going forward that will be important to understanding further aspects: He hates pain. He’s had plenty of pain, pain beyond what a normal person could ever imagine, and he hates it. One conjecture we can make from this knowledge is he’s extremely unlikely to self-harm in a violent or painful way, such as cutting or punching himself. He has shown a brief interest in pain for sexual pleasure though, as seen with his stint of asphyxiation for masturbation. The attempt killed him but we never get a follow up on whether or not he found it enjoyable, therefore it can be read as either “Kenny enjoys pain for pleasure, specifically asphyxiation” or “Kenny tried pain for pleasure once and as it resulted in his death, he doesn’t want to do it again” or “Kenny will try anything sexual at least once”. Among these readings, the third is most likely the most accurate while the first two can be entirely up to the opinion of the interpreter. They have equal canonicity behind them.

His hatred of death and pain has led him to become bitter and angry towards the people around him on many occasions. For example, when Kyle was dying Kenny was incapable of feeling sympathy for Stan’s sadness over it when Stan was so consistently apathetic towards his own death. It’s clear that Kenny doesn’t want Kyle to die and cares about the well-being of all of his friends (sacrificing his life for them on many occasions) but it was particularly painful to listen to Stan talk about how sad he was that a friend of his was dying in the hospital. If we pay attention to the timeline, this happens before Kenny dies in the hospital and Stan refuses to visit him, which would solidify every feeling of resentment he felt when Stan was worried over Kyle. During that time, Stan had had no trouble visiting Kyle in the hospital so from Kenny’s perspective, Stan just didn’t care. Still, he clearly cares for Stan and his other friends which is why we hear the repeated “Where’s Stan?” that breaks our hearts every damn time. It’s worth noting that Kenny has a teddy bear in the hospital that is never seen before or since, it’s very likely a bear from the hospital gift shop given to him by one of his visitors. So either Chef, his parents, or Kyle bought him the bear. A personal favorite headcanon of mine is that Kevin stole the bear for him but there is absolutely no evidence to support that hypothesis. Logically the culprit is either Chef or Kyle, considering the McCormick’s money troubles, and it would be very in character of Sheila to insist he buy something for his friend at the gift shop. Another thing to note is that Kyle is the only one of his friends, aside from Cartman, who visits him in his hospital room. Butters sends a card and there are visible gifts that build over time. We know for a fact during the episode where Kyle was dying that the teacher would have the students make cards for a sick classmate, so the card and gifts are most likely a byproduct of that. It is worth noting that while Kenny was dying such a slow and painful death, Kyle was the only one who was able to stay at his side. Stan found it too painful to watch him die and Eric was off on his mission to ‘save’ Kenny. I believe this impacted the way Kenny viewed his friends in the future, distancing himself from Eric and opening up to Stan less and less. His relationship with Kyle remains dubious and the other kids in his class he keeps an emotional distance between.

One cannot address the issues of this episode without also delving into the issues regarding the length of his death and revival. It’s implicit in the show that Kenny has no idea how long he will be dead for, a few hours or a few years, and there is very little consistency in how he is revived. Most frequently he revives via a literal rebirth (one notable instance of this causing his mother to have a miscarriage), but he’s also had instances of reviving back into his own corpse or literally appearing out of thin air. This leads us to the explanation that he doesn’t know how long he’ll be dead, where he’ll go, or how he’ll revive. This loss of control in his life causes him to put a significant distance between himself and anyone he might care about, for fear that his condition would ruin any chances of maintaining the relationship.

This is especially apparent in his complicated relationship with Cartman (which we will address in more detail later). During his extended period of death, Cartman was the driving force in finding a ‘Kenny replacement’ and Kenny’s self-proclaimed BFF. Both Stan and Kyle joined these attempts cheerfully, but Cartman was the most determined. He tried with both Tweek and Butters, succeeding in finding a best friend in Butters and making Butters an on-again-off-again addition to the ‘main four’ while also maintaining a close (and complicated) friendship to Cartman. Butters was compared to Kenny on several occasions during this transition and showed both agitation and resentment over the comparison. Eventually putting Kenny up on a pedestal as someone ‘great’ because of all the times the guys assured him that “Kenny would do it if he were here”.

It’s worth noting that the two individuals within canon who clearly and canonically remember Kenny’s deaths are Cartman and Timmy. While an explanation for Timmy’s knowledge is still left up in the air, there are a few potential explanations for Cartman’s retained memories. One explanation that I normally prescribe to is that Cartman has Kenny’s eyes and by taking a body-part of Kenny’s, he can now see Kenny’s deaths. This explanation isn’t perfect, as Cartman showed signs of understanding Kenny’s condition prior to that episode, but its one potential explanation. Understanding his condition could have been a basis for the initial development of their friendship or it could have been a secret shared when they were still close that Eric was naïve enough to believe. Although, Eric’s understanding of Kenny’s condition could very easily be an explanation for his own apathy towards other people's deaths (like how he murdered Scott’s parents). Ever since he could remember, his best friend had died and come back, at the age of 8 or 9, how could he possibly have a complete understanding that Kenny’s case wasn’t normal. He could have very well expected Scott’s parents to return the next day the same way Kenny did. While it’s also possible he committed those murders knowing full well that their deaths were permanent, it is still hard to believe that he’d even be capable of taking death seriously after seeing Kenny die so many times.

Continuing further, Kenny’s fear of death does not make him cowardly, quite the contrary. Some stand out sacrifices that he made while scared would be during the meteor shower trilogy (he owed nothing to those people and still gave his life to protect them) and during the hunt for Eric’s parentage, sacrificing his life to save the hospital. He was scared both times and they were ultimately selfless acts. What makes them stand out even more though is how dependent his friends were on him during both instances. They had full and complete faith and trust that Kenny would save the day. Even without cognitively remembering Kenny’s condition, they still trust him with their lives and know he’s the sort of person who would save them.

It’s very likely that this is a reason that Kenny grew into a more and more protective person as the seasons go by, in a way this faith that he’d save them is some of the purest positive feedback he gets from his asshole friends. Whether intentional or not, there was a part of Kenny and his friends who viewed him as a protector above all else. These sorts of implicit expectations can really affect a person’s development. It is most likely due to a combo of this aforementioned expectation and Kenny’s growing cynicism about his own deaths, that he accepts the role so whole-heartedly.

Kenny has a strong association with drugs from early seasons, where rumors of him sniffing paint were prevalent and an instance of him snorting alien coke occurred. His hedonistic personality and inability to die seemingly leading him to believe that he was invincible. And therefore he doesn’t need to worry about the negative effects of recreational drug use. This all changed after the events of major boobage. It should be evidence alone that by the end of major boobage, all rumors about Kenny and drugs ended and he was never again referenced to indulge in recreational substances, especially considering their earlier prevalence, but the series goes even further to show us that he not only got clean, stayed clean, but has developed a dislike for recreational and addictive substances.

Kenny would never do recreational drugs of any kind as a teen or adult and he is unlikely to drink alcohol either. It is very likely he dislikes weed, meth, and beer in particular. Kenny exhibited addictive behavior during Major Boobage and he was addicted to cheesing. However at the end of Major Boobage, Kenny stated firmly that he did not want to be addicted, would quit immediately, and he decided firmly to avoid drugs henceforth. His entire character arc for the episode was learning that he did not like the recreational use of drugs. It’s interesting that the fans interpret this episode as proof he would do drugs considering the entire plot of the episode was about his character growth in that specific regard. It’s like watching an episode where Stan learns to accept his gay dog and saying he will always be homophobic and never change because he started the episode not accepting his gay dog. It’s boggling.

However it is worth noting that Kenny relapsed at the very end of the episode by 'getting high on life'. While this could be evidence that he’d ‘never’ get clean (again disregarding all other evidence to the contrary) but it actually shows something that is quite telling for his ability to stay sober. His friends were quick to help him and pull him back from it. This alludes to him continuing to have support from friends and family during recovery. Recovery is a hard and difficult thing that is nearly impossible without a support network. This is a shockingly optimistic moment when understood through the lens of how difficult it is to fight for sobriety.

However the evidence that Kenny has chosen to stay clean doesn’t stop there. Aside from all rumors about him sniffing paint and other implications dying down all together, we have an extremely telling scene with his parents in a later season. During the superhero trilogy Mysterion startles his parents while they are getting high (specifically on weed). His parents state, fearfully, that Mysterion has been threatening them to stay off drugs and attempt to hide the pot from him, knowing he wouldn’t approve. This is telling in a few ways but one that is significant is that Kenny hated his parents' use of drugs, including ‘harmless drugs’ such as marijuana so much that he would go as far as to threaten them. We very rarely see an outright aggressive or threatening Kenny and we almost never see him show any ill will towards his family. Kenny is shown over the course of the series to be very fond of his family. His hatred of recreational drug use would have to be quite intense for him to go as far as to threaten his parents. The implied subtext of this scene is that Kenny considered what they were doing to be an extremely bad thing. So bad that he would threaten people he loves enough to terrify them that badly. This shows that since the Major Boobage episode, Kenny's attitude towards drugs has definitely grown negative. Moreso, the threat of staying off drugs was paired with the threat to ‘treat their children better’, leaving the heavy implication that he views those two as linked.

Even further evidence provided for Kenny’s continued sobriety and dislike of recreational abuse of addictive substances. During The Poor Kid, when Kenny was out of options with his foster family, he resorted to providing them with alcohol. Showing that he firmly believes that the best way to destroy people is to give them addictive products like alcohol. Further evidence that he feels negatively towards the drugs and alcohol. It’s played off as a joke in the episode but it’s clear that Kenny has strongly associated alcohol with destroying people.

Despite drugs and alcohol playing a major role in several plot lines that follow, Kenny is never shown to have an interest in them. As stated above, in early seasons he’d happily snort alien coke and now he never so much as approaches drugs positively. It’s extremely indicative that this change and interest in sobriety is long-lasting.

Finally we also see Kenny joining Stan's band that he created out of frustration with his situation on Tegridy Farms. Stan has grown to hate weed and what it represents and it is currently causing his family life to be much worse than usual. Kenny, as shown in episodes like The Scoots, loves his friends a lot Stan included. Watching his friend in so much pain can only cause him to view the substance as even worse. It is very likely that while they were working on the band and practicing he heard Stan's complaints as well. Kenny is actively watching as marijuana tears the Marsh family apart. He also watched Stan’s struggles with alcoholism and Stan’s fathers struggles with addiction as yet further examples of how these substances can destroy lives.

During TFBW game, there is a drug subplot that Mysterion actively works to put a stop to. Again, never once part-taking in drugs and actively fighting against their spread in his city. It doesn’t get any more blatant that that. Kenny is far more likely to join the DEA than he is to get high behind the gym. Kenny would never indulge in recreational drug use, specifically meth, weed, and beer, because of his experience watching them ruin families and strain friendships. As well as his own experience with drugs when he decided that he did not want to live that kind of lifestyle.

There’s a bit more evidence that delves into the realm of headcanon, but it is a logical extension of deductive reasoning based on the canon content we are provided with so I will include it as well. We know that Kenny and Satan developed a friendly relationship during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. We also saw Satan give Stan a very simplified and child friendly lecture on addiction, as though he’d given the same lecture before. While there is no evidence of this, it isn’t a stretch to imagine the person he’d previously helped through their addictive tendencies was Kenny.

To be clear, this isn’t an anti-drug PSA. I don’t care what characters do or don’t do drugs, this is merely establishing that for Kenny specifically with the character arc he’s had, it is very unlikely and borderline insulting to his struggles for sobriety. However Kenny’s connections to drugs also open up some interesting relationship details as well.

During the major boobage episode in particular all of his friends join forces to get Kenny clean, Kyle in particular spear-heading the effort. Stan was there and Butters was there but neither showed as much passion or commitment for assisting Kenny’s progress to sobriety as Kyle did. Even putting his own neck on the line by hiding a cat in his room (with Sheila Broflovski as a mother, is he suicidal?). It’s yet another case, like with the Kenny Dies episode, where all his friends offer very passive support and Kyle offers a very aggressive and consistent support. It’s shown a pattern thus far of Kyle feeling in some way responsible for Kenny’s wellbeing. Which could be explained by a few things, Kyle’s obsessive and passionate personality or perhaps he feels subconsciously guilty for all the times he’s left Kenny for dead. Really we have no way of knowing why he’s doing this but we do know he’s starting to develop a pattern of protectiveness towards Kenny. What’s even more interesting is during both instances Kenny is too far gone to notice. During Kenny Dies he’s frequently asking for Stan and during this episode he’s angry and belligerent that Kyle is taking away his high. Making both tasks thankless endeavors on Kyle’s part (which is also a little unusual because Kyle loves to be praised for his hard work). Kenny’s relationship with Eric is at a low during this episode, Eric caring more about cats than his old BFF and Kenny now knowing that Eric won’t even make an emotionally dishonest attempt to be there for him. I would be interested to see how Kenny in specific felt about Eric facilitating the drug trade during TFBW considering his sobriety and the fact that Eric was never there for him through it. Butters and Stan just don’t stand out as particularly good or bad friends during this episode, they’re just sort of there and listening to Kyle’s instructions.

However, it’s worth noting that when there were rumors about Kenny getting high in early seasons, Eric was a mentioned accomplice, which makes it even more interesting to think about how Kenny’s sobriety might have solidified the growing rift between the two. Perhaps they used to be the kind of friends who got high behind the gym together and now Kenny won’t and Eric thinks he’s a pussy with sand in his vagina. It’s just an interesting nugget of characterization to explore. How specifically did Kenny’s sobriety impact his relationship with Eric? It’s an engaging question I wish more fans would ask because I would love to see the potential answers and hypotheses’. It’s also worth noting that after Stan’s own struggles with sobriety and addiction in later seasons, it’s possible that Kenny could have become Stan’s sponsor or perhaps that the two of them connect over this unique struggle in their lives that their other friends wouldn’t have as complete an understanding of.

There’s a lot and a little to be said about Kenny and his relationship to his siblings. The clearest picture we get of his relationships with them is his obsessive protectiveness of Karen, even going so far as to deny her own wants and needs (as seen in the TFBW dlc) in order to protect her from all perceived danger. Even if the danger is as mundane as ‘being lame’. But to get a better idea of his relationship with his siblings, I’d like to start from the beginning.

Namely, before Karen even existed within the narrative. In the early seasons with Kevin and Kenny as the only two McCormick children, we see a passive and friendly relationship (a stark contrast to the Marsh family siblings). Kevin does nothing aggressive towards his brother and he is seen peacefully playing with Kenny as well. While this does not make it impossible that Kevin isn’t a friendly sibling, from the context we see him in for the early seasons, there’s no reason to assume he isn’t a kind older brother to Kenny.

Which brings us to the impossibility of Karen’s birth. As stated above, Kenny revives most frequently through rebirth and he dies far too frequently to allow Carol a successful pregnancy. And we know that, to Kenny’s knowledge, he was the youngest McCormick child during the episode that confirmed he gives his mother miscarriages. He tried to give her a miscarriage before doing so on accident, hating the idea of having a younger sibling more than anything.

This is something that also lends to the idea that Kevin is a kind older sibling and that he is fond of his parents, regardless of their flaws. It’s explicit within the episode that Kenny doesn’t want a younger sibling because he doesn’t want to share that love. He wants Kevin to spoil him and his parents to spoil him and he doesn’t want to lose that to someone younger and cuter. Perhaps his attachment to being spoiled could be because he’s so relied upon by his friends as a protector that he is loath to lose the one type relationship he has in his life that places him as someone to be protected rather than doing the protecting. This is conjecture, but it would make sense with the characterization we’ve seen thus far.

But how did Karen come into being? The ongoing theory in fanon is that she was born during the year Kenny was dead and his friends replaced him but going through the aging timeline, it’s unlikely he was dead a full year (more likely only a few months) and even if the timeline matched up, Karen is six years old when she is first introduced, only 3 years younger than Kenny. Which means she had to have been born long before this incident. Another ongoing theory is that she’s adopted or a foster child, but those are relatively unlikely as well. The McCormick household has a fucking meth lab in the back yard. There is no adoption agency that is going to give them a child. And this theory ignores her clear resemblance to both Kevin and Stuart.

This is why I believe the most likely source of Karen is through a third party and Stuart. There are no adoption hoops to jump through if Stuart is her biological father and it explains the familial resemblance. It’s not difficult to believe Carol would accept her as her own due to how desperately she wanted another child.

As for how Karen was conceived, that’s up for interpretation. She could have been a product of infidelity or a case of someone else carrying her for the McCormick’s as Carol is effectively baron. I will say that Stuart’s infidelity is more likely purely because of the age. If they’d asked someone to carry Karen to term for them, Karen should have started living with them when Kenny was three and yet, she doesn’t join the family until the age of six. There could be a myriad of reasons for this that can be left entirely up to the interpretation of the viewer but the only logical way for Karen to exist as she does is that she is Kenny’s half sister.

When Karen showed up, Kenny clearly grew immediately attached and began to mature quickly. Taking part in less shenanigans, taking responsibility for her well-being, protecting her from bullies, playing with her in his free time. Kenny didn’t want to be an older brother but when push came to shove, he accepted the responsibility whole-heartedly and fully embraced his younger sister. Even more meaningfully, he didn’t care about whether or not she was fully blood related and treated her as a sister just the same. It’s possible one of the reasons he didn’t see any need for blood to create familial ties is growing up with Kyle and Ike nearby and knowing that it wasn’t blood that made them brothers. It’s also possible that he just has too much integrity to treat her as anything less than his baby sister.

One thing that should be noted about children Kenny’s age is modeling. Children, especially under the age of ten, are extremely susceptible to the behavior modeled for them. For example, children who have older siblings who mistreat them are far more likely to mistreat their own younger siblings. It’s a monkey-see, monkey-do time of life. Therefore I would like to present with this as my evidence that Kevin was just as kind and protective as Kenny is to Karen. He’s at an age where he models what he sees around him, treats others how he is treated. The other sibling relationships he’s close to is Kyle and Ike, which while loving took awhile and is significantly less overtly affectionate at times, and of course the Marsh siblings who have an overtly negative relationship until very recently in canon.

Meaning it’s possible he modeled how to treat a younger sibling after how Kyle treats Ike but it’s difficult to imagine him playing kick the baby with Karen. It’s more likely that he grew up with a protective older brother who spoiled him and he is now passing down the behavior that he received.

In short the McCormick siblings have a complicated but interesting relationship. There’s a lot to be said about how while Kenny was being conceived (with Stuart and Carol constantly getting high at a cult and subsequently arrested) that Kevin was only three years old and he wouldn’t have been able to fend for himself at this time. He might have attached onto Kenny so strongly out of loneliness over the severe neglect his parents subjected him to.

It’s worth mentioning that one place Kenny remains determined to indulge is with his hobbies, specifically with magic the gathering, his psp, and nascar. Kenny has for the majority of his characterization been defined by his hedonism. Doing what felt good, when it felt good. It’s why he has such a striking and intriguing character arc over the course of the series. Going from a pure hearted and selfless hedonist (an interesting combo in itself) into a more mature and more reserved individual who denies himself those simple easy pleasures (such as drugs).

But he still has a desire for escapism and so he pursues his hobbies with a passion and protective zeal that can be alarmingly violent. He doesn’t just love his hobbies and desire to indulge in them, but he also wants them to be respected and he despises a mockery being made of them. He doesn’t just enjoy them, he becomes masters at them. He pours all of his passion into being an amazing Magic player, into achieving the highest score in his favorite game, into murdering the one who mocked Nascar.

Wait, that last one doesn’t quite belong. We’re going to put a pin in that one for further exploration in the Cartman section, but it’s worth mentioning that his passion for that sport is so intense that he would be willing to commit murder. While the characters in South Park are outright murderous by nature, Kenny is one of the least homicidal in town (it’s a relative term) and as such, his turn to homicidal rage in defense of his hobby is notable.

He knows Cartman, he knows this is probably a phase and Cartman will get over it, if it was any other circumstance he’d probably be laughing his ass off at home that Cartman was making an idiot of himself on live TV and driving a vagisil car while eating the cream. It’s objectively hilarious and something that Kenny would normally have laughed at and moved on. He’s shown discomfort with Cartman’s escapades before but he’s never taken it so personally. Even when it was a direct attack against Kenny.

There is a part of Kenny that just can’t tolerate his hobbies being so openly mocked and made a sham of. Even during cock magic, he felt deeply uncomfortable with the spectacle the game he loved was turning into, doing everything he could in his limited capacity to continue to treat it seriously and play with integrity. Kenny loves his hobbies with a passion that we don’t see from him for much else.

One potential explanation for this is the emotional distance he has with other people that I alluded to before. He has a lot of love to give and a passionate personality but he dies. All the time. No one remembers, those that do only use his death for their own gain, and while he’s dead even his closest and dearest friends will attempt to replace him or actively resent him. People can replace him. People can betray him.

Playing cards? They have no autonomy. They can’t change after his death; they just wait for him in his room until his revival. Nascar? Sure, he might miss a few races but he can always catch up or just watch new content. Kenny has found an outlet for all the love that bubbles up inside of him that doesn’t rely on people who he’s learned to mistrust.

There is also something to be said about his addictive personality and it’s very possible that he uses his hobbies as a replacement for drugs. Indulging in healthier hobbies in an attempt to replace the ones he now views so negatively. A strong support of this theory is that before Kenny’s sobriety he was less passionate about hobbies and after his sobriety, he is clearly and consistently more obsessive about his hobbies. (further evidence of his continued sobriety, fucking fight me fanon. don’t even tell me you do it for the angst, a struggle for sobriety is way more angsty than a momentary high. ya’ll just want him to do drugs/alcohol because you do and you kin him.)

Kenny’s love for his hobbies is quickly becoming a defining trait but also it’s worth noting that his hobbies are social in nature. He didn’t pick up drawing or writing or origami, things he’s shown an interest for in early seasons, he picked up Magic and Gaming and Nascar, all three when indulged as hobbies are inherently social. You watch Nascar with people, you play Magic with people, especially in this day and age, you play videogames with people.

Even though he’s given up on connecting with people on a deeper level and puts a distance between himself and others, he still pursues hobbies that connect him to them. This indicates that he could still be trying to reach out to others and wants a deeper connection. But on his own terms. He doesn’t select hobbies that the others are already into to attract them to him, he’s pursuing hobbies he likes. Stubborn and selective boy. I haven’t listed all of his talents, skills, and hobbies here, mind you, just the ones relevant to my points (meaning I left out details about his passion for singing because that appears to be a natural talent and sports because he enjoys them but shows no real passion for them)

I’ve probably put off talking about his friendships for too long at this point but a part of me wanted to save this for last, as so much of what there is to say about his friendships with others is indicated in other segments. But the as this is an entirely unstructured attempt at explaining my thoughts and headcanons about Kenny McCormick, I don’t believe it matters the order I go in so here is an overview of his relationships with a few key individuals in his life.

We’re going to start with Kelly. Not because she’s the most influential or most important, but because her impact on his personality is striking in a way that I have to wonder why more people don’t address it. Prior to meeting Kelly he didn’t have as much resentment towards his friends over his condition and after meeting her, for reasons that will become obvious soon, the seeds of pain grow into something larger.

For those of you who are largely unfamiliar with her, she is Kenny’s first girlfriend. She developed an immediate attraction towards him and began to pursue him with a hesitant intensity. Kenny, as he does with most people who approach him so passionately, treats this with confusion and hesitance. She’s hyper logical, goes at her own pace, and treats the fact that Kenny would like her as a matter of course.

Her pursuit of Kenny isn’t what’s most notable but it is worth noting how he responds to someone pursuing him. It’s the confusion that strikes me the most, he’s not used to being treated like something special, and he doesn’t know how to reply. It’s a far cry from the smooth talking flirty Kenny of fanon. Kenny is far more likely to respond with hesitant interest, confusion, and eventual flustered flattery to a romantic pursuit based on how we’ve seen him respond in canon. This isn’t to say he couldn’t develop a more flirtatious personality with age, but it’s worth noting that within canon we don’t see a hint of that as of yet.

The impact that Kelly truly makes on Kenny’s personality isn’t a romantic one though. Although it is my belief that he will grow to view it and gestures like it as romantic ones in the future, but that’s a headcanon digression. Her contribution to his development is simple:

She saves his life.

While no one else would, no one else tried, no one else thought it was possible. It’s very likely that his friends all have a sense of subconscious learned helplessness in regards to Kenny’s death and therefore don’t fight it because, to them, it’s an inevitability and Kelly was only able to do this because she was not previously exposed to the multitude of Kenny deaths.

But the fact is that a person claimed to care about him, wanted to date him, and then when the worst thing about his life was going to happen again, she saved him. In this moment Kenny associated on some level caring about him to saving him. The fact that Kelly saved him meant she cared and by extension, the fact that no one else saves him or even holds him in his dying moments, means that they do not care about him.

Let’s return to that moment of lost empathy and sympathy when Stan was grieving Kyle’s illness. Perhaps on some level he’d just grown to understand that Stan wasn’t the sort to try helping his friends when they’re in mortal peril, made an exception that it’s not that Stan didn’t care, it’s just that Stan wasn’t the type to try saving another person’s life. Or grieve. Sure, it frames Stan as an awful person but to Kenny, Stan being an inherently cruel person was far less painful than the horrible knowledge that Stan did care. He just didn’t care about Kenny. In this moment he’s able to see the moment that Kelly saved him, because she cared about him, and all the moments that neither Stan nor his other friends even tried to save him. To add insult to injury, he dies right then and there and Stan still doesn’t care.

He’s left with the horrible implication that his worst fears about his friends are right. It’s not that they don’t remember because they can’t, it’s that they just don’t give a fuck about him. It’s terrifying, worse than even the prospect of a friend dying.

Which is another matter, as Kenny is semi-frequent in the underworld(s), it’s difficult for him to fully empathize with the idea of Kyle dying. Normally the terror of a loved one dying is that you’ll never see them again, but for Kenny it’s likely he’d still see Kyle every Tuesday. While he words to protect his friends and clearly loves his friends, when they’re lives are in peril like this, it’s sometimes difficult for him to empathize. He doesn’t want them to die but there’s a bitter part of him that’s unable to grieve if they do.

Kelly’s selfless and kind act, one that showed Kenny a moment of what it was like to feel loved, left such a terrible lasting impact that we can see seasons and seasons later. "ALL THE TIME! I die all the time! And you assholes NEVER remember!! Remember! Try and fucking remember!"

Now this can’t be entirely attributed to Kelly, obviously, but I think she’s an important contributing factor to his descent into bitterness that is entirely under-explored. And I also find the way he continues to pursue the relationship with her after she’s left back to her home state to be really telling about how loyal he is within a relationship. Even with his own financial and logistical issues in dating a person who lives so far away, he does his best to visit her whenever he can. She clearly meant a lot to him and it will forever taunt me that we never got an onscreen breakup. It’s also notable that he shows the same level of respectful loyalty to Tammy while dating her. This showcases a clear pattern of treating his significant others with kindness, patience, loyalty, and respect.

Now that I’ve spent ages talking about a girl most fans don’t even remember existed, let’s start in on Stan. Stan seems to hold a special importance to Kenny, it’s difficult to say exactly why (but I’m sure if I dig more I can find out) but moreso than Eric, Kyle, or Butters, Kenny seeks out Stan’s approval in one way or another. It’s very subtle, sort of a ‘blink and miss it’ thing but it can be blatant. The aforementioned moments regarding Kyle’s hospitalization and his own hospitalization. In more subtle moments, we can see Kenny gravitate towards Stan while Kyle and Cartman have their tiffs.

One possible explanation for his attachment to Stan is his horrified “oh my god, they killed Kenny!” frequently by the time Kyle has joined in with “you bastards!”, Kenny is already too dead to hear it. So it’s possible that he puts a lot of weight on their friendship because he views Stan as one of the few people who react to his death at all.

(I can’t help but wonder how gleeful Kenny must have felt that Stan chose his side during the Black Friday trilogy)

Regardless of the reason, Stan appears to be the one among them that Kenny has distanced himself the most from. He’s shown to be very compassionate in most situations but in later seasons when Stan is struggling, Kenny is frequently distant or unresponsive towards it. This seems to be mending in the most recent seasons, with episodes where it shows that they’re fond of one another but even then, there’s an undeniable rift. Despite being Stan’s friend for longer and what most would consider closer to him, during the band episode Stan interacted more with Butters and Jimmy than he did Kenny.

This is also possibly explained by Kenny’s under-explored shyness (something I don’t know if I’ll even get the chance to dig into because I’ve already been going on for so long and I’m barely through half of the things I want to talk about). But I believe that Kenny has put some emotional distance between himself and Stan due to the moments that led him to believe that Stan does not ‘care’. One example of this is during the Cthulhu trilogy, when he explodes in response to his friends questioning, he gets upset with Stan’s reactions but only explodes to Kyle’s, despite their questions being equally ‘offensive’. Perhaps he’s put up more emotional walls with Stan and he’s more prepared for him to be insensitive than he is with Kyle.

Kyle is a complicated relationship to define. On one hand they’ve both had moments of cool apathy towards one another (Kyle during ookie-mouth and Kenny during Cherokee Hair Tampons), although both of those situations are easily understood under the lens of the other stressors. Kyle claimed to “not care about Kenny” but it was only in response to being asked to spit in one another’s mouths. Kyle is a canonical germaphobe (in weirdly most regards other than poop, which he is strangely very comfortable with) and being asked to let someone else spit in your mouth would be trying even if you had no issue with germs. As for Kenny’s moment, as explained above, he was far more concerned with the implications of what it meant for his friendship with Stan at that moment. And not entirely unreasonably.

Kyle’s strange because despite not being Kenny’s closest friend by any stretch of the imagination, he’s been there for Kenny during most of his pivotal character moments in one capacity or another. In a way, Kyle is the one constant in his life. He holds Kenny as he dies in Wing, he stays by his side in Kenny Dies, he fights for his sobriety in Major Boobage, he invites him to become a Jew Scout in Jewbilee, helping him out in The Coon, there are weirdly numerous examples of their friendship and yet there is no explicit focus on it. It’s also worth noting that among all his friends, Kyle was the one Kenny chose to view the meteor shower with and this was during a time where he was still objectively closest to Cartman. And the same can be said for the Coon episode, Kyle was the one Kenny went to for help.

It’s difficult to define their relationship because while they have a strong pattern of a deep and supportive friendship, they also never even attempt to be one another’s ‘favorite’. Although Kyle does seem to be the most protective of Kenny among the main boys (this is of course only a relative, the bar is really low). For example, despite all the boys having lice in Licecapades, Kyle was the only one who came forward to save Kenny from the sock bath. It would take a whole other essay to fully dissect how their relationship works but to simplify it, it appears that they rely on one another.

During Jewbilee, Kyle has complete baseless faith that Kenny will save them. There’s no reason for this other than he just knows that Kenny will. Moses is captured, an all powerful figure, and Kyle still thinks his parka wearing little friend has got this covered. Conversely Kenny comes to Kyle when he needs help, like with Mysterion’s “You’re the smartest kid I know”. It’s just interesting how much they rely on one another and never make a big deal of it. Their friendship is based on an understated mutual trust.

Cartman on the other hand takes any and all trust, and throws it in the bin. If Kyle requires an essay to explain, Kenny’s relationship with Cartman needs a dissertation. That said, I’ll make an attempt to keep this short and to the point. Eric and Kenny do seem to at one point have shared a mutually beneficial friendship, with both of them liking Kyle and Stan more than they liked one another but still clinging to one another in a strange and desperate loneliness. One of the ways they bonded over the course of their friendship was a similar sense of humor. They both enjoyed crude and childish jokes more than either Kyle or Stan did and therefore they were able to indulge in them with one another. The trouble was that Eric had a malicious edge to his humor and Kenny did not. Eric was willing to take things farther than Kenny ever was, potentially purely to prove to the world that he would. A perfect microcosm of why this aspect of their friendship fell apart is found in How To Eat With Your Butt. They both found the ‘butt’ school picture to be hilarious in the beginning but when real people were looking for their son, Kenny dropped the joke immediately but Eric pushed further. These sorts of moments increased in frequency, leading Kenny to pity Eric above all else and Eric to both love and despise Kenny in equal measure.

Eric was still the person Kenny reached out to more than most people, like during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, but the strain on their friendship began to show more and more and then… Kenny died. Eric knows about Kenny’s deaths, possibly the entire reason he spent all his time trying to make a clone Shakey’s rather than actually saving Kenny’s life. But more time passed between this death than any other and Eric, who has abandonment issues but that’s a whole can of beans to explain, decided he needed to replace Kenny. The trouble was his first attempt, Butters, wasn’t the same. Neither was his second attempt in Tweek. And while Butters did eventually replace Kenny as Cartman’s ‘best friend’, it still wasn’t the same. Eric had lost that friendship for good and still longing for a taste of it, he’ll often still seek out Kenny’s opinion on things. Kenny meanwhile came back to life (we’re going to skip over the sharing a body possession arc, not because it isn’t relevant but because it’s just WAY too much to cover in a short span of time) and found that his best and worst friend had replaced him. In some ways it was a relief, being Cartman’s number 1 friend (especially when Cartman clearly wanted Stan and Kyle’s approval more) was never a great role. But at the same time, being replaced is never a pleasant feeling and it really bloomed that horrible terror that had begun to grow with Kelly and Stan. His friends don’t actually love him, he’s replaceable, they don’t need him. He begins to close off more and more through this and starts to focus his attention on spiting Cartman in small ways (like as Mysterion). He can’t help but be a little resentful and a little uncomfortable.

This discomfort can also explain a lot of why Kenny appears so uncomfortable around Butters during Going Native, not wanting to be called Butters’ best friend and not wanting to go on the trip with him to begin with. Overall Kenny seems to veer from apathetic to Butters to uncomfortable with him. There’s no single scene in the show where he actually seems to show any affection towards Butters. He was forced to go on the trip during Going Native, he had to listen to Butters call Nascar ‘stupid’ endlessly with Cartman, and he just… doesn’t spend time with Butters. They’re seen in the background together, but so are Clyde and Kenny or Annie and Kenny. This isn’t to say Butters has had no impact on his life, but even when he’s on a trip to Hawaii with Butters, he spends his free time writing letters back to his friends or hanging out at a bar alone instead of spending it with Butters. Butters does seem to hold a certain level of affection for Kenny though, whether this is due to Cartman’s influence (the constant comparisons that put Kenny one pedestal as the ‘best’ kind of friend) or due to an actual affection for Kenny, that’s up for debate. I lean towards the former because it’s more consistent with Butters’ overall characterization and it also gives the progression of their relationship a… progression. In the latter interpretation Butters’ fondness for Kenny seems to spring from nowhere within the scenes we’re provided with. In the former, Butters’ fondness is based on his own insecurities and the significant trauma that Kyle, Stan, and Cartman put him through. There really isn’t anything worth dissecting with the Fun Times With Weapons incident, Kenny doesn’t appear to be particularly apologetic nor does he do anything to protect Butters from the hell that follows. Strangely Stan seems to be the most obsessed with getting Butters’ help, although in the most misguided ways possible. Furthermore, during the Cthulhu trilogy Butters is imprisoned and forced to eat his own poop to survive throughout the entirety of it and Kenny just… didn’t care at all. The initial imprisonment was clearly Cartman’s doing but even after Cartman was kicked out and Kenny assumed leadership, he made no effort to free or protect Butters. Whether this was out of resentment or apathy is left up to interpretation. Put plainly, Butters and Kenny do have a strange connection although that connecting piece appears to just be Cartman and without Eric, that bond is nearly nonexistent. (istg if i get another message calling me a bunny hater… guys, im not being mean or an anti, this isn’t about ships, this is about talking about how kenny actually feels and behaves towards other characters within canon. and no, kenny did not invite him to game night. it was very clearly a joke that no one invited him… that said, if someone did invite him, it’s more likely to have been kyle who invited him due to kyle’s response when butters first entered the house)

Kenny also has some interesting relationships with the secondary cast that is worth mentioning (Craig, Timmy, and Bradley in particular) but I’m not sure how long I’ve been typing for so we’ll put a pin in that.

Fuck, I had a lot more bulletpoints I wanted to get to in order to expand fully on his character and I haven’t even gotten to the ‘conclusions’ section but my fingers fucking hurt. Here are the bullet points I didn’t get to, if you’re really curious feel free to ask for more details on any of them:

Anger issues

Mischief

Wisdom and foolishness

Growth

Prostitution

Sex

Parents

Work

Protective

Shyness / Quiet / timidity

Loyalty

Resentment

Hedonism

Pride and poverty

#Anonymous #meta #this is why people shouldn't ask about my favorite characters or ships #i have lots to say #too much to say #ugh i probably should have waited until the end to address the butters thing #writing it just reminded me of the shit anons #and then i just lost my steam #sad caws

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onf-headcanons · 4 years

Text

ONF Modern Fantasy!AU pt.2

or known as Familiar spirits AU

More establishments for this AU below!

Initial establishment here

Goodbye Minseok arc here

Headcanon 1 here

Headcanon 2 here

The ending here (warning its angsty)

Then have more of the modern fantasy au shall we?

•During the days where you are only living with Jaeyoung, Hyojin and Seungjoon. You noticed something and you are curious about it.

• You noticed Hyojin and Seungjoon are close. And only to know they have known each other for ages. But Hyojin did not always be with Seungjoon for all of his lifetime. As per Seungjoon, there is a moment where Hyojin gone missing. When he returned he looked malnourished and frustrated. Seungjoon was the one who helped Hyojin to recover.

• Hyojin has 2 symbols imprinted on his skin. One on his wrist and another on his back below his nape. You got curious and you asked him about it.

• Hyojin was even shocked that you asked him : "You did not know?" And you just shook your head and blinked your eyes.

• Hyojin then told you his story. He used to be familiars for 2 other individuals that are parent and child. Their mad obsession with his voice so much to the extent they imprinted him to bound him at the human world. He was later released by their grandchildren.

• Once imprinted, the familiars cannot pact with/summoned by other people for a period of time decided by their owners. His first owner bound him about 100 years and his second one bound him about 150 years. In short imprinted familiars are forced to shut away from their own world in a certain period of time. And only the owner or person blood related to owner can terminate or make anew to the bounding.

• You cried as he told you his story and it shocked him a bit. He knows that there are good humans too but deep down he also felt humans are selfish. Including you. But it might be the first human he met that emphatize with him and his experience.

• After hearing his story you are interested why he still choose to follow Seungjoon to come to your side. When he can totally decline your summoning and let Seungjoon come alone

• Hyojin : "I am worried if he meet someone dangerous so I followed him."

• "And I was kind of planning to have revenge on human too...but you are alright I guess." Hyojin saying it while averting his gaze. His hands awkwardly pats your head.

• Cues in you stand up while wailing that you are sending him and the other 2 back because they all deserves a better life back in the magical world but Hyojin stops you. He knows those 2 are already attached to you because you treat them very well.

• As for Hyojin, he felt he could stay and enjoy since the human world has changed alot.

• You began to wonder what period Hyojin was in when he is bounded in this world. Then you began to Google all sorts of historical paintings and showed Hyojin. Trying to find which country he used to stay. Cues in you two got really excited in front of the computer while browsing historical paintings. This is also the timing where has totally let his guard down towards you as he chattering about the older human world. Which period and country Hyojin was in I shall leave it up to you.

• The first time when Hyojin sings, you are delighted and surprised. Finally understands why his previous owners would be that selfish to bound him. But you are not going to do it. ALSO Hyojin singing while roaming around the house. And because he is doing it , later the other 6 starts doing it too making your house having all sorts of melody noises mixed up

• Cues in Hyojin looking at you eating and was like "is that even tasty?" Because historical cooking is different than current and he is interested.

• You would share your food and snacks to him when he is looking at it with his eyes open wide with curiosity.

• Once he got into the taste and flavour of human food, he starts his smuggling food from your house fridge act as mentioned in the first establishment.

• At first, its a secret between you and Hyojin. But then as his "appetite" to taste human food flavours grow bigger its not a secret anymore. Sometimes he just walks around the house with eating snacks. And he is the reason you never succeed in dieting. Lol

•Your butler feels like he is feeding 2 kids. And the new butler got confused when he sees Hyojin eats human food. Especially when the first day he joins the house and sees Hyojin walking upside down on your living room ceiling while sucking lollipop with his animal traits still on him.

• Cues in some plausible scenarios to happen :

• Hyojin munched a big bite of the roasted chicken your butler has made exclusively for guests. And your butler is furious about it. Hyojin would hide in your room because your butler is not allowed to enter your room without your permission

• Or one day you came back home and your butler mentioned he will be heading out to buy stuffs because the kitchen ran out of the ingredients. Then you find Hyojin chilling in your room. And you knew he is the culprit for sure.

•BTW because of the knowledge you gained from Hyojin's story, later when you summoned Changyoon, you quickly noticed the imprint on his arm and you can immediately tell he had the same experience of being bounded. You apologised and mentioned that you will send him back because you felt bad. But Changyoon volunteered to stay.

• So apparently, his experience with humans are better than what Hyojin been through. Based from Changyoon, he was the one who volunteered to be bounded by the previous owner because they are dying due to illness but no one they trust enough to take care of their young children. So Changyoon was bounded for a short while. Maybe until the child reach coming of age or until the child released him is up to you.

(By the way this is totally my idea of preference. The complexity of symbol/tattoo = the length of being bounded. Changyoon's tattoo was quite simple in design so I had the inspiration for this setting)

• You mentioned to Changyoon that his imprint symbol looks like WHPH in human language.

Changyoon asked you what does it mean and the first thing comes into your mind was Work hard Play hard. And he loved it. Btw you googled paintings to find out which period and country Changyoon was in too.

• Since Changyoon has the experience of taking care someone he knows how to cook and do some chores. He quickly becomes your old butler's new fave and then also the new butler's fave being.

•BTW this might happen rarely but the cooking show down between new butler and Changyoon to compete who is the better cook. For some weird reason, you were never invited to be the judge and you never participated for food tasting. It was Hyojin's exclusive only.

• Fusion of magical world food ingredients with human food. Changyoon will keep it harmless.

• So enough of character establishment a bit more of the story... sometime later after you first time summoned Jaeyoung, one of your family member from main family came to visit

• You quickly returned Jaeyoung to his world and hoping that relative of yours won't notice. Even asked your old butler to keep quiet about it

• (Little that you know actually that relative of yours already sensed the new presence in your house but was sceptical as you are never truly exposed to their world as per their knowledge)

• Fast forward to the time you have successfully summoned Hyojin and Seungjoon. You left Jaeyoung and the new 2 familiars at home with your butler then you head out to school

• When you came back home you saw a unfamilar car stopped in front of your house and you had a bad feeling about it

• You stepped into the house acted like normal and find the head of main family with the relative you are close to are sitting on the couch in living room waiting you to return

• You glanced at your butler as you did not see your new friends in house. But your butler just lightly shook his head hinting now its not the timing. You acted normal and small talks with the guests until...

• One of them, preferably the head of family : "So, Y/N, are you not going to introduce us your new friends?" And it sent you chills.

• You tried to act like you don't understand the topic but they said they could sense the presence of your familiars in your house. No choice, you set out to find them. You found them in your room according to you butler. He was the one who suggested the trio to hide there.

• Seungjoon is under your bed, Jaeyoung is hiding in your closet while Hyojin locks himself in your bathroom.

• They are scared at your relatives because of their aura were way different from yours. You calmed them down and they all finally meet.

• Cues in you relatives are amazed at you being untrained, but still managed to summon such high class familiars and even sustain them. (Welp at this timing they all look like teenage boys and the consumption of your energy were limited)

• Of course you relatives lower down their intimidating aura when they checked and found the trio familiars of yours are basically harmless

• Cues in your relatives glanced at you when they saw Hyojin has 2 imprinted symbols. You already what it is by that timing and you firmly said "I knew about it, he told me. He wants to stay and I still wanna keep him."

• Your elder relatives exchanged looks and nodded to each other. They understood your initial motive and also they had to acknowledge that the apple does not fall far from the tree. The head of the family even pats your head and invite you to stay over at grand manor during summer holidays. "Having being accompanied is good but don't forget we are your family too."

• (You went to the grand manor before with your family but after their death you never visited much)

• And what happens was every year of your visit, the number of familiars you bring with you increases until you reach 7 familiars

• Again , this is my idea of preference. There are other members in the family having high class human looking hybrid familiars like you too. You can insert any other kpop groups. Like one relative of yours have a group of 6 (Oneus?), another one have 9 (PTG?). You even found out someone had 13 familiars. It is all flexible, even just 1 or 2 of your bias from other groups is doable too.

(This is because I personally don't like writing them does not interact with other beings or entity/species and just interacting with reader stand in only. Yea a weird sense of obligation for world building in fiction.)

•BTW ALL OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS DOTES ON MINSEOK LIKE THEY ADOPTED HIM. EVERYTIME YOU VISITED THR GRAND MANOR, THEY WOULD TOTALLY ASK FOR HIM.

• Minkyun might even befriended the family pet dog or cat in the grand manor

• As number of familiars increase, the household is getting chaotic. At first you are doing a good job controlling them like raising your voice while warning them but

• You eventually joins their weird antics occasionally and getting scolded by your old butler

• When you are not in the house and they are really out of control

• Cues in your butler just randomly throws a dead cockroach or dead bug towards them and they all freak out then scatters while making incoherent noises lol (old and new butler both doing it)

• It started with unexpectedly as during summer insects start roaming around. Usually there is no insects in your house but 1 or 2 occasionally just sneaks in. And took the liberty to die at the hallway or any corner in your house. So you and your butler found out about the 7 of them are scared of cockroaches and bugs in no time.

• its obvious when you see 1 or a few of them does not dare to walk through the hallway or just stand still or even suddenly runs toward you. Especially Yuto and Jaeyoung

• So one time, you are away from home. 7 of them are having way too much fun while the butler cleaning up suddenly he found a dead cockroach and out of frustration he picks it up and throws toward the 7 of them. And that is when and where you butler has found the ultimate weapon.

•Both old and new butler always reminds your familairs to hide their animal traits when some one normal comes by to visit

• Its perfectly doable if the 7 of your familiars ships you and the new butler. Which kinds of explains why they mostly overprotective when someone tries to flirt with you.

A/N : i will be stopping this part here for now. Need to head to bed soon. Initially thought of making an arc specially for Hyojin's story but then I dont have much time so I just merge everything into AU establishment

#onf #onf imagines #onf scenarios #onf headcanon #onf headcanons #modern fantasy au #kim hyojin #hyojin #lee changyoon #e-tion #lee seungjoon #J-us #shim jaeyoung #wyatt #park minkyun #mk #mizuguchi yuto #u

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years

Note

I don't know how much this adds to the discussion regarding Animorphs being children's lit, but I think it's important to keep in mind that kids' books can get away with heavier themes than kids' shows tend to, so if someone's coming into the discussion with the framework of "for children" they may need to keep in mind that as a book it can cover more ground than a tv show that grownups just have to glance at to decide if it's "too much" for their kiddos (whether it is too much or not).

This definitely adds to the discussion of Animorphs as children’s lit! I think you’re hitting the nail right on the head. Many people don’t realize this (I didn’t realize this until I was in college and had a class on the subject) but television shows have to justify themselves to a metric shitton of people before they’re allowed to go on the air. Books only have to justify themselves to a moderate-sized committee, if that.

People who have the power to veto content on TV shows include (but are not limited to): individual writers who have a particular idea, head writers who don’t like the idea, script editors who might take it out, directors who refuse to film what they don’t like, videographers or artists who add their own creative vision to ideas, visual effects teams who can cut things based on budget, voice actors who can protest decisions they don’t like, episode editors who might take an idea out, producers who won’t back anything that might cause controversy, studio executives who can pull content that’s not “on brand,” national network crews that can decide not to air certain content, local network crews that can also decide not to air certain content, and future “backers” who might decide not to invest in a show based on its content.

People who have the power to veto content in books include: the author with the idea, the agent who publicizes it, the editor who polishes it, and the publishing agent who sells the idea. At most.

Nowadays, one can self-publish one’s own work with ZERO outside input, or else very little. The Martian was read by exactly two (2!) people before Andy Weir put it on the internet, and it became an international bestseller. It would be possible to make a self-published TV show with that little outside input… but most platforms wouldn’t promote it, and would probably take it down if it got hate-reported or had content violations. Not only that, but (as Cates pointed out) books get edited as content that has already been written, in a story that already exists. Shows get edited in the context of deciding whether it’s worth the trouble to write an idea that’s still hypothetical.

Television is ultra-conservative (in the sense of never rocking any boats in any direction) because it has to please hundreds of people with creative input and to justify its multi-million-dollar budgets. Books can reach the minimum production value necessary to be good with the influence of one person (okay, lbr, two people) and fifty bucks for printing or web-hosting fees. That’s the reason that only 42% of non-animated roles and 39% of animated roles go to women on TV, including only 12% of non-animated roles and 4% of animated roles going to women of color. By contrast, 63% of children’s lit on The Atlantic’s bestsellers list is written by women, about female protagonists; that’s not counting books by men about female protagonists. (They didn’t collect data on authors’ ethnicity; if anyone has this stat, HMU.)

It’s the reason that Arthur just made national news THIS FUCKING YEAR by depicting a same-sex (traditional) (Christian-coded) wedding ceremony, one that local networks in Alabama chose not to air. Meanwhile, in 2015 Cates presented a conference paper about the history of kids’ picture books with queer protagonists, a history that goes back to 1981 (Jenny Lives with Eric and Martin) and covers such mainstream 1990s series as Bruce Coville’s Magic Shop and Dav Pilkey’s Captain Underpants. We see the importance of the lack of gatekeepers: for instance, the author of Heather Has Two Mommies struggled to get a mainstream children’s press to pick up her book, so she went to a lesbian publisher, which ended up creating an entirely new branch for children’s books. (Apparently there were entire publishing houses just for lesbian books in 1987? The more you know.) One other interesting case study for queer content is Gore Vidal: in 1948 he published what would today be classified as a YA gay romance novel (The City and the Pillar) but in 1959 he had to “code” and hide the queer content in the Hollywood film (Ben-Hur) that he also wrote. Television to this day uses queer-coding in lieu of actual romance, especially when it’s kids’ TV (see: Legend of Korra or Adventure Time), while children’s literature has already made the push all the way into demanding that the queer romances in Grasshopper Jungle and Geography Club be more intersectional.

To be clear, it’s not like children’s books have carte blanche in this regard — Applegate and Grant have both apologized for having to code Mertil and Gafinilan rather than just marrying them off, and have expressed regret over not getting to write an openly bisexual Marco or openly trans Tobias. But kids’ books can still fly under the radar of the wowsers in a way that kids’ shows often cannot.

Anyway. Queer representation is obviously just one of a plethora of issues that get very different treatment in children’s books vs. children’s shows. There are plenty of others. Children’s shows can depict violence, but have to treat it as silly or inconsequential and avoid showing blood. (Because that’s a great way to teach kids about not harming others!!!) Children’s books can have as much blood — and, apparently, as many spilled entrails — as they would like, as long as those things don’t happen in the first couple of pages or make the cover summary. Neal Shusterman is responsible for some of the most cringe-inducingly silly AniTV episodes, and also some of the most brutally unflinching works of children’s literature I’ve ever read. American screen media are no longer subject to the Hays Code, but its marks still remain. American literature has pretty much always been the Wild West, and with the advent of online self-publishing, the west is getting wilder.

Don’t judge a book by its movie. And don’t judge a book by its show. AniTV is tame and silly, treating its violence as inconsequential and its characters’ mental health struggles as harmlessly or innocent. Animorphs has the courage to show that when you shoot a man he doesn’t just silently fall over and disappear but bleeds and screams and dies, that being a victim or a perpetrator of such violence can leave even “innocent kids” fighting for their lives against PTSD and depression. It has the courage… but it also has the freedom to do so. That’s an extremely important distinction that should not be overlooked.

#animorphs #anitv #children's literature #lit crit #television #censorship #animorphs meta #meta meta #long post #mental health #violence mention #homophobia mention #q word #queer representation #lgbtqia #old man yells at cloud #anonymous #asks

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zhanxixis · 5 years

Note

I don't know if you know kpop but if you were to put the boys of 19 days in a kpop group what headcanons do you have for them? Positions? I love you 💗

(´♡‿♡`) hello, first of all that ‘I love you’ warmed my heart more than you can imagine and I probably wouldn’t be able to convey my gratitude for your kindness no matter how much I tried. now to answer your question… unfortunately I know literally nothing about kpop besides the fact that its korean pop. I once watched a compilation video of some funny moments between kpop stars but I don’t have enough knowledge on what positions there are for kpop or how that industry works, the training etc. so I don’t think I will be able to answer this and for that I apologize immensely.

however, I don’t want to leave you completely hanging — so, since I had another message in my ask box to which I believe is slightly similar to your own question, maybe you would be interested to know what I think regarding this as well since it also has to do with music/roles. I hope this will be able to make up for that.

question from this anon in short is: what do you think their band roles are?

the post they are mentioning that I reblogged is this one in case anyone is wondering. I agree it is strange that some people believe if someone already has an instrument to play it means they cannot be the vocalist, its a very false thing to believe; but maybe they just don’t know or forgot thats not really how bands work most of the time. in fact the majority of singers in bands do, do more than only singing and often play an extra instrument; its actually less common for vocalists to only sing in a rock band.

now to get to actually answering the questions, I think the official artwork which straight up show what they play, as well as hints, and their personalities help to give away what roles they have in the rock band illustrations old xian has drawn. to help explain, I think the positions they have will be similar to how it is in the story ‘given’ by kizu natsuki (which if you haven’t read yet, go read it now, its amazing. mafuyama are my otp, I’ve been reading it for years). you can see their band roles in an edit I made here. essentially there is a vocalist/guitarist, drummer, another guitarist, and a bassist. so this is what I think:

jian yi is the vocalist/guitarist:

(some images taken by the microphone post made by radonyx)

as you can see jian yi has a deep red guitar, which peek — also happens to match zhan zheng xi’s deep red drum set, strapped around himself in the top left image so its automatically a given that he will be playing the guitar. a regular guitar typically has six strings and its sound a bit lighter compared to bass guitars which I think would pair well with jian yi’s voice, who I believe to be the vocalist. jian yi has a very boisterous, outgoing personality, and is far from shy so this role, usually put at the forefront + center of attention, wouldn’t particularly bother him. and not only does he seem comfortable enough for the part — as you, I, and apparently some others believe, it looks to be that there is a silver microphone peeking through, hiding behind zhan zheng xi’s drum set. of course this is just speculation, but it very closely resembles microphones that have a flat top and doesn’t look like it could be much else. its seems to be that zhan zheng xi and jian yi like to keep their instruments together backstage from the official illustrations provided; however, there is a reason I believe zhan zheng xi wouldn’t be the singer out of the two which I will get to later. I imagine jian yi to look something like this:

singing with his guitar in his hands (illustration taken from the promotion of the anime ‘given’ which will be coming out soon). and here is a quote that old xian put in their new artbook (it goes with the illustration of zhanyi wearing matching rings and jian yi with his nails painted black) translated by the lovely @thingsthatfml.

“In the backstage of a musical performance,where the staff run restlessly and busily, only when I sit beside you do I feel at ease/feel the most safe.”

it’s a nice quote and its one I see in the point of view of jian yi who may be feeling a bit nervous before a show; he goes to find comfort and the feeling of protection from his safe haven, the love of his life — and sits beside zhan zheng xi who has sworn him protection since they were young and has always showed him the most care and love in his life. if you would like, check out this amazing fanart of jian yi singing made by trmk1. it is one of my favorite fanarts of him ever.

zhan zheng xi is the drummer:

as shown in the illustrations above, zhan zheng xi is displayed holding drumsticks in his hands with his deep red drum set nearby him — so it’s automatically a given by old xian that zhan zheng xi would be the drummer, and it makes sense because it fits his personality well. its an instrument that is never typically in the front and center and is usually in the background, which goes well with his very ‘keep to myself’ (unless you’re jian yi) personality; now while I don’t think zhan zheng xi is shy, he is not outgoing either. zhan zheng xi is sociable when needed to be but isn’t one to want the spotlight on himself so this is why, for me, he wouldn’t be the vocalist (even though his deep, husky singing voice would no doubt be hot, him being the vocalist in a band doesn’t feel as though it goes with his personality). drummers are also usually the main one responsible for the rhythm of a song, generating a beat and timing for others to follow. drummers also need to know how to accentuate/highlight the rhythms, volume, and have speedy reflexes to go well with certain instruments or quick vocal changes — a responsibility which would be handled well with a serious man like zhan zheng xi.

he tian is the bassist:

he tian would be the one to play the bass guitar. as shown above, his guitar is black and white with 6 strings. a bass guitar usually has anywhere from 4-6 strings. the sounds of a bass guitar in contrast to a regular one is that a bass guitar’s notes are about an octave lower — it sounders deeper than a normal guitar, which is what jian yi and mo would play. bass guitars are also usually a bit larger with a longer neck than regular guitars. I see he tian as the type to try to chase and master something that would be more of a challenge for him, so he would probably go with the one with more strings (plus as shown in the image above, his guitar has 6 strings). bass guitars are also known to be an instrument that works well with the drum set to create a good, cohesive rhythm and/or harmony. the bass guitar is probably something he would master quickly. he tian would probably be the second likely one to sing if not jian yi, given that he is also outgoing like jian yi and doesn’t appear to be very shy; however, to me, he doesn’t seem the type to be the first one to jump at the opportunity to sing either.

mo guan shan is another guitarist:

like jian yi, mo seems to be interested in guitars as heavily hinted in chapter 226 when he passes by a store displaying guitars and he seems to pause and stare at them longingly. normal guitars usually give the player more freedom to go off script with its lighter sounds and for mo it would fit him best because he could control how intricate (or not) he wants his sounds to be, how much attention he wants to attract with it etc., and given his nature of wanting to be as far away from the spotlight as possible, this would be the most comfortable role for him since he would have control over the amount of attention he could grab, essentially just doing what makes him most comfortable. out of everyone he is the least likely to be the vocalist as it wouldn’t fit his character, because being the vocalist usually means being at the forefront and center of display and that is exactly what he despises the most — it’s makes him extremely uncomfortable and he hates, hates, hates it which is also one of the reasons why in chapter 216 he didn’t want to be a model even though the job had good pay.

so in conclusion, I think their band roles are: jian yi = vocalist & guitarist, zhan zheng xi = drummer, he tian = bassist, and mo guan shan = guitarist.

#19 days #given #old xian #kizu natsuki #gusari #anonymous #replies

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chibimyumi · 5 years

Note

Japanese is null-subject language and other characters don't use pronouns for grell. If this story was originally in English or if you translated it what pronouns would they use? I see most reapers (friendly reapers; Othello, Ron, Alan, Sascha etc) using female pronouns because they understand soul stuff (heart/soul is female) and I think there's more reapers like grell because lgbt suicide was very high in those times, but William would use male pronouns to be a dick (like in the musical).

Dear Anon,

Now, isn’t that a very interesting question!? (≽▽≼) Though also a very difficult one…(ㅎ-ㅎ;)

I would have used three different pronouns for Grell depending on the situation:

She/her for standard Grell

He/him, but ONLY for when she was undercover as the male butler

It/thing/creature if it is coming from William, Sebastian, or O!Ciel

I don’t know what language Anon 1 is referring to in this post, but this is evidence that the original content of the manga does not contradict an explicitly chosen female pronoun. Likewise, it is evidence that the misconception about Grell’s gender mostly originated from mistranslation. The translator is/was transphobic, and with their translation they influenced/reinforced transphobia in the readers.

Therefore, I would use explicit female pronouns for Grell, because it is important that there is no ambiguities left about her gender, and nobody should be left with any excuses.

Of course theoretically it is much easier than in practice, so I shall try my hands on a few lines in the manga.

Standard Grell

Standard Grell’s pronouns are rather straightforward; there is no need to beat about the bush, so just clear she/her will do.

Chapter 64

先輩のが俺より強いし　そっちはおまかせしまっす

Senpai no ga ore yori tsuyoi shi, socchi wa omakase shimassu

Senpai is much stronger than I am, I will leave the Undertaker to [Grell]

Proposed translation

Denigration

O!Ciel might really not know that Grell is a woman, as is only to be expected as he is from 1889, and the concept of transgender identity did not exist yet. But what he has in common with Sebastian and William is that none of them see Grell as a respectable individual. Considering how Grell is either continuously threatening to ‘dye Sebastian in red’, and otherwise imposing her adoration onto William, I can’t really say I don’t see why.

Still, as a translator I would not misgender Grell, and therewith insult all transgender persons through her.

Misgendering people just because you don’t like the person is the most childish and weakest insult I can think of. All a person does by misgendering to express dislike for a person is betraying themselves as a transphobic moron who does not have a modicum of creativity. It is necessary to examine whether hypocrisy is present here. Would they also misgender cis people if they disliked them? If not, then the answer is just clear and uncreative transphobia.

“OMG, I hate Hitler, she was such a viscous woman!”

｀;:ﾞ｀;:ﾞ;｀(;ﾟ;ж;ﾟ; ) Pfffffttt, yeah right.

The scriptwriter of ‘The Most Beautiful Death in the World’ is clearly rather transphobic as she apparently thought fit to make a character exposition and writing conflicts in her story, at the expense of transgender people. However much William might dislike Grell, I found him incredibly out of character in that musical for the reasons mentioned above. It’s possible thatWilliam might not be the most feminist person in the world, but I do not think he is sexist enough to misgender people. By misgendering Grell, he gives three potential messages:

He thinks Grell is incompetent, and is unwilling to show her the basic respect of addressing her correctly. William can be childish, but not THAT childish.

He thinks Grell is incompetent because she is “supposed to be a man”, but so unprofessional she hides behind a ‘female name’ to escape the responsibilities of a ‘real man’.

He thinks Grell is incompetent BECAUSE she is a woman, and can be ‘made more competent’ had she been a man. Therefore misgendering her is a type of “corrective pronoun-rape”.

Chapter 35

There are no ambiguities about William’s speech, so the original can be left as is.

本日付けでアレの謹慎が解けるので嫌な予感がしていたのですが…外れたとは僥倖でした

Honjitsuzuke de are no kinshin ga tokeru node iya na yokan ga shiteita no desuga… Hazureta to ha gyoukou deshita.

As of today, that thing’s confinement is over and I had a very bad premonition… but I consider myself fortunate I was wrong.

それは残念でしたね　貴方も　アレも

Sore wa zannen deshita ne, anata mo, are mo.

That is most unfortunate, for both you and that thing.

Proposed translation

Chapter 12

では　その害獣に迷惑をかけない様　しっかり見張っておいて下さい

Dewa, sono gaijuu ni meiwaku wo kakenai you, shikkari mihatte oite kudasai

Well then, please make sure to keep a watchful eye so that [Grell (Subject)] will not cause this vermin (sentence Object) any trouble.

Proposed translation

Chapter 58

そんな奴に構ってる場合じゃない！

Sonna yatsu ni kamatteru baai janai!

This is not the time to engage ＊that person!

Proposed translation

Personally, I think whether Sebastian can tell the gender of souls depends on whether souls even have a gender. Depending on Yana’s universe, and on what philosophy and/or religion it might be based, souls might or might not have a gender. (In Buddhism for example, souls are genderless.)

If in Yana’s universe souls do have a gender, then one must also consider why a demon would be equipped with the ability to ‘smell’ the gender of a soul. Do souls of different genders taste differently? Do they have different nutrients?

I personally would say that the taste of a soul is not influenced by gender; only by the experiences someone goes through in life as a certain gender. One cannot deny that the world treats you very differently depending on whether you’re a man, or “a lesser female”, or “““gender-confused-unicorns””” (THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT MY OPINION OF NON-BINARY PERSONS!).

Sebastian’s understanding of human beings mostly stems from his interest in souls and their potential flavour. I would say that if souls taste different depending on the gender, then Sebastian would probably not have acted as clinically and indifferently about gender as he does.

It could be that Sebas is simply not a picky eater when it comes to ‘gendered-flavour’. But somehow I cannot imagine him being more interested in ‘the base flavour that comes with gender’ than all the other experiences that come with someone’s life. Other factors that must influence the soul’s flavour more tellingly include race, age, environment and social class.

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komakitigerdrop · 5 years

Note

Apparently I didn't express myself accurately. As you said indeed, certain scenes don't mean anything, so my question is, what scenes would actually mean something? (I'm being hypothetical, not trying to say existing scenes mean anything.) Or are you going to keep believing in YxF even after something big happened between MxF/TxF/YC/AxF? I'm the kind who buys whatever couple the author sells, but I'm curious about shippers loyal to one specific couple.

Ahh, thank you for sending another ask. I was not pleased with my previous answer either - I was pressed for time and didn’t articulate my ideas very well.

I think that the best way to answer your ask is to break it down into a few different parts, if you don’t mind. I will hide it under a cut so that I don’t clutter people’s dashboards.

1. About Shipping

I am not the kind that buys whatever couple the author sells, just because I am not naturally invested in most fictional couples (regardless of media type - I guess I am either too cynical, or just overly realistic). I read other mangas and in most of them, either only one couple draws my attention, or none. I find most of the tropes used in yaoi either dumb, childish or both. That is all to say that I hardly ever find myself emotionally invested in a fictional couple, but when I do… I do.

2. About Finder specifically

This part will merge with the next, “scenes that matter”. The reason why I can’t bring myself to find Mikhail and Fei a believable/interesting couple is because their relationship is not organic. By organic, I mean: something that was construed over time, something that followed a trail, that was built upon events that primarily existed to advance other parts of the story. Finder started in 2002. Fei Long and Mikhail were introduced in 2007. For twelve years, FxM interactions were limited and emotionless. Even their sex scene in Volume 9 was a transaction. Nothing was built to suggest any kind of emotional connection between these two individuals, nothing was said, on the page, about either of them being remotely interested in starting a romance.

Bear with me here.

Reason being, Fei Long was a character created to gravitate around Asami. The crux of his existence in the manga was always the relationship with this one man, the feelings for this one man. No one else. Not Mikhail, not Tao, not Yoh. Flash forward to 2018, and YA gives us that iconic scene in which Fei Long ships Akihito and Asami to a desert island, and I think that this is the gamechanger. Now Fei Long is in a position to move on.

Coincidentally, we readers are given back Yoh and a sex scene with Mikhail in the same damn chapter.

Two suitors with feelings for him.

On one hand, Yoh, whose feelings he admitted to Fei Long in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Of course he was not reciprocated. Then, there was Finder no Rakuin, in which their affection was mutual. Had its plot not been written by Yamane Ayano herself, dialogues reviewed and all, I would happily cast it aside as “non-canon”. But it was, so I won’t. If one accepts Finder no Souen as canon to explain Kuroda and Asami, then one needs to accept Finder no Rakuin as canon to explain the feelings Fei Long and Yoh have for each other. I won’t label those feelings because in all honesty, I wouldn’t know how to. Fei Long’s heart was not within reach, and yet Yoh still managed to touch it. There is a connection between those two men based on trust, on forgiving, and yes - on physical pleasure. It delivers in all fronts.

You ask, what would be necessary to convince me that Mikhail is the real deal? I’d say, I would need to see him deliver in those three fronts. I’m sorry, but a night of sex in exchange for a favor, and a moment of compassion after a session of torture won’t cut it for me. Mikhail going to see Yuri, as I mentioned before, was due to concern and a sense of duty - but in all honesty, he is not the first and won’t be the last to put his ass on the line for Fei Long. Akihito did it. Asami did it. Yoh did it. Do they all get a ticket to Fei’s heart? If they do, then what is the point?

It was the need to save Asami that ultimately brought Fei Long and Mikhail together. It was not mutual attraction, interest, or compatibility of values/goals/personalities. What happens when Asami is safe and sound? Has Mikhail made that much of an impression that his presence in Fei Long’s life will be justified long after their current shenagigans get sorted out?

Again: maybe yes. Maybe YA will find a way to make Mikhail relevant, maybe the road she chooses is a passionate romance. But will that convince me that she is “picking Mikhail over Yoh”? No. Because these two relationships do not compare. Mikhail is an open flame, Yoh is a slow burning amber. It’s just who they are, it’s what they have to offer. Their purposes and benefits as “love interests” are very, very different. And yes, I will even say that Fei Long might have a thing with Mikhail, but is Mikhail going for the marathon or just a sprint? As I said, things change. A moment of tenderness does not equal a love affair; a love affair does not equal a lifelong commitment. YA, smart woman she is, will probably leave both doors open until the very end, because with Fei Long, she can do whatever she wants with his love life. She can give us all or nothing, then have Tao reach age of 21 and join the race as well.

And I bet she will have a load of fun playing with our emotions.

(She does it so well, tho!)

Part 3: About scenes that matter

I will talk about the scenes that don’t matter: the ones that could easily be removed from the manga without any harm to the characters’ development or to the plot. My favorite example: the infamous Sakazakigate. I might come here later to post an apology but it does look like sensei completely abandoned that idea (she had Sakazaki record a video of the whole thing and never used it. Why? What was the point of it?)

In terms of Fei Long and Mikhail: I might be wrong about this one as well, but I think we never got confirmation that is was Mikhail who got the temple set on fire in exchange for Sudou’s info about the goods. Which is a shame, because this demonic deal could easily contribute to his hero journey if it was revealed that Mikhail himself sent Sakazaki to warn Akihito about the fire (hence double-crossing Sudou. Or triple-crossing - who knows at this point!)

I could backtrack and find more scenes that existed for apparently no reason but this is too long already. My point is: scenes that don’t matter are those that promise great waves and in the end, fall short. Time will tell how much of the current arc will have an impact in the future - do the scenes between Fei Long and Asami when they are saving each other’s lives really mean this new phase of their relationship or were they there just for the action? Does Fei Long’s moment of tenderness with Mikhail indicate that the doors are open for romance? If yes, will we see that romance now, later, two years from now?

All in all… the scenes that matter the most are those that change characters and the story in some kind of irrevocable way. I think certain scenes in Finder no Souen did that to Asami, same can be said to Fei Long in Finder no Rakuin. And those scenes cannot be invalidated by any other future scenes, because they happened, the people involved in them changed, the mark was made.

I will continue to celebrate Yoh and Fei Long simply because their past and everything they went through, their trust, their synergy, all of that deserves to be celebrated. If Fei Long ends up with Tao, then be it. With Mikhail, okay. If he ends up alone, okay too. There is more than one type of relationship between two people and that’s what I’m here for.

#in which komaki rambles!#but it's my boy yoh #I cant help it #finder no hyouteki #yoh #Liu Fei Long #Liu Feilong #mikhail arbatov

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paganchristian · 3 years

Photo

Here are the two clovers that I found back whenever, several years ago. I realized in this picture it’s a little hard to see the fourth leaf on one of them, but oh well. I saved this one in my draft folder and I like it because of the imagery, in which one clover overlaps the light switch, and the other one overlays the door. It makes me think, continuing on the whole idea of omens and good luck and beliefs, which have an ability to create good luck,... It brings me a few thoughts on those things.

Ok first of all let me also say that I don’t actually think that clovers are lucky, but you know, it’s just for fun, and as for what charms I think are lucky, well, I think that they are something imbued with spiritual or psychic energy, so it’s not so much the object but the message it gives or the person who give it to you or the message God is trying to lead you to, or the path that the symbol represents, that you are being led towards, be it a spiritual path or maybe just some other blessed path for you. In itself, I’m not a believer in a good luck charm that just has inherent worth as an object with some mystical power. Not that I say it can’t ever be, because I’m not totally sure. The world is mysterious. But I have experienced the luck of things that have real spiritual value because they are good messages from beyond, from higher, from God, I think. Then again I think that sometimes they can mislead, and be bad omens. False signs and wonders. I have experienced things of this nature too, that I thought were good until gradually, subtly it was revealed to me to be harmful. Enough good that I thought it was only good, but a subtle yet powerful bad effect was worse, though unseen.

Anyway, I think that even among good beliefs, sometimes they can be good only situationally. Just like a good, strong, solid, consistent, simple and clear story, it is good if it works for you, but it seems to me like not only does it have to be a simple, clear, strong basic story. It even has to be predictable, relatable, not too far outside what you are used to doing and feeling and thinking. Ask people to reach too far outside themselves and they will overlook the message. It goes back again to how children’s stories and folktales and fairytales can often contain what cultural sophisticated, high art, religious, and philosophical type stories omit,...

It’s as if there is something that more modernized mindsets lose touch with and children and people who have been less modernized are more likely to see these things, even when they have to veil the messages in hints, symbols and characters very indirectly, animals and fools and such that are silly enough to just laugh at, not too close for comfort, not too similar to the real problems they are hinting at or the deep truths many would laugh or deny or hide because it gets too real, too radical, too challenging, too brave, too good, for the mediocrity of average existence to accept or embrace, too hard, too fine a line to balance.

It seems that people have to oversimplify and they have to consolidate power in a few official people in power, within modernized, simplified, streamlined, organized, complex cultures and societies. Complexity and organization ends up helping in some ways and cutting corners and fitting us into a box that fits the overall system in other ways. I think that people in general want someone to help make life simpler, and in that process they seek the authority figures, the ones in power to simplify it all down to something they can say is the answer, the final answer, and if they have an authority who makes it all simple and lines it all out that relieves the uncertainty. This particular facet isn’t just for modernized societies. We have always been trying to appease the gods who have certain rules, in all cultures, through time, and we make rules and superstitions we are supposed to follow in order to seek the peace and harmony safe from the chaos that life rains down on us.

Anyway, there often is a certain order, sequence, hierarchy and so on in all these rules and rhythms and practices too, oftentimes. It’s the problem I have now. They say, do one thing before you can do another, but sometimes, maybe too often, I think, the order is arbitrary and false, harmful.

But anyway, people want an order to follow step by step, but I can see now its wrong for me,... Right now, in my case, I am dealing with this in my life with some of the religious beliefs in the path I’m considering. Again and again they say you have to do this before you do that, and I just cannot for my sanity.

So I can see these orders and sequences are sometimes just once more a problem of artificial, arbitrary order, to relieve the huge uncertainty and fear and sadness and pain and guilt because of all the mistakes we make when we are left to our own devices so we seek this outer authority to tell us exactly how, when, where, what and in what order we must do things, but sometimes they get the details wrong. But if we feel secure in our system we can feel like we are safe when we follow the proscribed plan and judge those who don’t and advise them and appease our conscience when others fail- it must be just a lesson from God for not following some rule, seen or unseen. But since there is so much we can’t know about others’ inner lives we can’t really truly judge (they say), but still many people do judge and you can see in how they act, many signs give it away that many do judge. It’s hard to have so complex a system of rules which are supposed to give all kinds of rewards, when followed well enough, eventually,... It’s hard to have such a set of rules without judging those who don't’ follow or who seem to endlessly suffer too badly. Then logic seems to suggest maybe they are not following the rules well enough and judgment follows.

Anyway though, the light switch, the door, in the picture, makes me think of things. Signs and beliefs can turn on the light, to a new idea, like a lightbulb, wake us up, make us pay attention, focus, remember the idea, try to do something instead of just thinking about it, take it more seriously. Then there is the door, the door to the actual new path, the new place, the new experience. Sometimes signs or beliefs just make the light come on, and sometimes they actually open the door to a new way. Some ideas do one thing, and other ideas do the other thing, some are lights, some are doors, some can be both or either. But a light doesn’t have to be perfect, it can be dimly lit, it can be a lamp that has a shape, a color, a form, that seems to be one way, but it shows us something else, when we see with the light that emits from the lamp. The door, the actual path, too, can lead from one path to another. But it’s more important for the door to lead at least in the general direction. Lights can be suggestions, possibilities, sparks of thought that lead from one to another to another idea. But real world action is more challenging and engaging, effortful and slow, oftentimes, and so that is when we really must be going the right way at least a little bit.

Or, maybe sometimes not, I guess, it depends. Because thoughts aren’t so free, so easy, a light that lights the way by making us think and figure it out and explore... Yes on the one hand thoughts can speed much more rapidly than real life actions can plod forward, but for the same reason they can delude us. Sometimes we will avoid nonsense by thinking so much and questioning and contemplating before diving into the action of life. Sometimes by using our minds and hearts, we can reach God and love and goodness and meaning without ever taking much “real world action”, and then the energy of our hearts and prayers reaches others even if we never leave our home. So many spiritual paths say, this path I’m considering, and Buddhist and Hindu, among other paths I’ve heard of. But thoughts can be very dangerous, quickly leading us blindly astray when we thought we were going somewhere good,... Keeping us trapped years on end, or decades, spinning in chaos. As I know, living through this for many horrible years of my life. Thoughts definitely can get us so lost, entangled, running faster and faster, unable to rest, restless, anxious, sad, confused, deluded. So there’s no rule I guess. Thoughts have to be at least somewhat good too or they’ll lead you way off track. You can’t always see for your own self what is good, true, makes sense, even if you’re smart, raised with good values, good enough, pretty good values (good as average, or I think in many ways much better than average, the values I was raised with). I should know because I was so lost that way in my mind. I think my desire to be a good person (figure out how and just what that really means in a world where so many opposing ideas of what is right and good and what is not and my own personality and physical and mental health problems were not at all fitting in with what almost anyone accepted to be “good”), all that made me lost, truly. And my desire to seek God and my deep thinking wrapped me even more in confusion than a simpler person who doesn’t try as hard to be as good, to reach as high, to find God, to make sense of the mysteries of the universe. Someone like my husband, as he was after he abandoned his spiritual interests, he was thenafter happy to abuse others (me), content in a simple life, apparently happy for all the world to see, strong and well he has been and continues to be.

And sometimes real action when misguided still teaches us very well what to do instead, in clear obvious ways. Sometimes real action is learning what mere ideas cannot teach. Sometimes real life is down to earth and full of observable, experienced facts that keep you in the realm of safety and goodness. And real actions can often include meaningful, human interactions that keep you in the fabric of life and what really matters. But other times even real experiences and interactions just seems meaningless, forgettable, trivial and numbing, a rushing around, an artificial appearance and the praise and admiration of others, all for nothing, or their scorn, and advice, but again, misguiding, all for nothing. I don’t know.

More roundabout thoughts, circular but I feel they’re leading somewhere that matters, to help me sort out why religion keeps tangling me up rather than resolving into clarity, oftentimes.

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